#i need it right now i need to know what theyre cooking or IM GONNA DO IT MYSELF ‼️‼️

[reluctanttrabbit]

fnaf movie 2 save me.......toy animatronics save me..... jeremiah save me....... gregory save me......

[kylelovskii]

idk but now that kyle finally asked reader to be his gf, what if they were just hanging out and stuff so then kyle leaves to go do something but ends up coming back and sees reader masturbating and theyre just like a total hot mess on his bed waiting for him… just a thought bc im feeling pretty freaky atm LOL i need kyle hes such a meanie

-❤️ anon

been a while.. :3

i’ve missed writing about mean kyle, so let’s do this! 😈

the fuck do you think you’re doing?

“hey, baby, i’m gonna get some snacks for movie night, okay?” kyle told you, cupping your plush cheeks and kissing your forehead.

“okay..” you respond, closing your eyes as he plants his lips on your temple. you watched as he walked away. his white wife beater hugging him perfectly, and the way his basketball shorts hung perfectly around his waist. you’d been so desperate for him the entire day, but still so shy to even say anything. despite all the change, that old, shy, innocent (y/n) was still down there.

he shut the bedroom door behind him as he waltzed out. you knew he’d be gone for a bit. he usually likes to cook something up for the two of you on movie nights, then have extra snacks on the side. what to do with all this time?

who’s to say you couldn’t rub one out real quick? if he didn’t catch you, no harm no foul, right?

and with that last thought, you sunk more into his bed, reaching your hand down your baggy pajama pants. you pushed one finger between your folds, already so slick from just the mere sight of kyle a few moments prior. you massage the bundle of nerves between the pudge of your pussy, then push your middle finger into your hole.

you sigh at the relief you’ve been craving for the past 4 hours. sure, it wasn’t as good as kyle’s fingers, but it got the job done.

you add another finger, speeding up to make this process go faster so kyle wouldn’t catch you. kyle’s rule was, and i quote: “if i ever catch your fucking your self without my permission, you’ll be in a world of hurt, you get me?”

and you did get him, you just didn’t want to burden him when he probably didn’t feel like it. besides, it’s movie night, and why would you ruin that?

you were on the edge, so caught up in the release you were about to get, that you didn’t hear the bedroom door swing open. so caught up in how good you felt that you didn’t hear him yelling at you.

“hey! what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

you yelped, scrambling up against the headboard, staring at kyle, horrified.

“who said you could do that, huh?” he spat, slowly walking over to you, his fists clenched.

“wait— i’m sorry! i didn’t want to bother you, and—” you were cut off by the painful sting in your scalp when he grabbed your hair, pulling your face up to his. “don’t be fucking stupid. get up, strip.”

you were quite terrified to say the least, so you quickly got up and stepped back away from your fuming boyfriend. you took off your t-shirt, then your pajama pants. you stood there, half naked, staring at him.

“why are you looking at me like you can’t understand english? i said strip.”

oh. he wanted you naked naked. okay. you brought the straps of your bra down, your perky tits bouncing out. you then pulled the pink cotton panties off your waist and kicked them to the side.

“you wanna get fucked so bad? then you’ll get fucked. lay down,” he ordered, pointing to the bed. you whined and climbed on the bed, laying down, vulnerable for him.

he tugged off his shirt, then took off his silky basketball shorts and threw them in a laundry basket along with his boxers.

“i think you’ve had enough prep, yeah? being greedy all alone in here, not even bothering to ask me. you know the rules, don’t cha?” he asked, smooshing your face together with one hand, stroking his cock with the other. “answer me, bitch.”

“yes! yes i remember! i’m sorry, ky— please!” then you felt a sharp pain against your face. “i don’t care if you’re sorry. you broke a rule, and now you’ll get punished. nothing has changed,” he forcefully explained before shoving his dick inside you. you cried out which turned into a long whine.

“aw, yeah? see? your fucking fingers can’t do this, only i can.” he reached his hand up and held your neck tightly, but not tight enough to stop your breathing. he pounded into you, harder and faster with each thrust.

“hah— ky! i’m gonna— you’re—” you tried to speak, but he was fucking you so good you couldn’t even form a sentence. “no you’re not. not until i do. you don’t deserve it.”

he slid his hand up, prying your mouth open more with his thumb, and with that a small fetching noise came from his throat before he spit in your mouth. “swallow,” he demanded, and you did.

each time his cock went back inside your cunt, it only pushed you more to the edge. you didn’t know how much longer you could hold out, but then you heard a high pitched groan come out of kyle’s mouth and then a warm sensation shoot inside you. that did it for you and you hit your high, legs shaking, locking them around kyle’s waist to make them stop.

but he kept going.

“stop! stopstopstop! kyle— please, wait—” he covered your mouth with his hand to shut you up, which didn’t really work, but you stopped talking at least. “what’s wrong? can’t take it? this is what you’ve been so desperate for, right? so you will take it. shut up and take it.”

orgasm after orgasm, kyle finally let up and pulled out, but he hadn’t cum yet. he inched up near your face, took off his glasses, and shoved them on your face. lean leaned his head back, stroking his cock until he came all over your face, recreating the scene that happened at cartman’s house many moons ago.

he let out a guttural moan as he did so, sighing when he finally came down from his high.

“go..go clean up,” he slurred, flopping down next to you as you looked at him confused. “you’re not gonna help?”

“no. you’ve been a bad girl. besides, i cooked. that’s enough of caring for one night. and clean my glasses too!” he shouted after you as you walked into the bathroom connected to his room.

kyle always took care of you, but bad girls know how to take care of themselves, right?

[kumezyzo]

more streamer!reader with bf!sapnap cause i so desperately need it and i promised to get out the christmas cooking stream...

i started writing this like two weeks ago and im just now getting it out cause im so good at procrastinating 😁 but its also kinda short mb

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

bf!sapnap that doesnt really listen to you when you tell him hes not doing something right. he will just look at you and forget that you scolded him in the first place.

"nick, you realize you cant put a metal bowl in a microwave, right?"

"huh?" he looks over at you. your face holding a concerned expression as you look at the bowl in his hands. hes silently just thinking about how you called him nick instead of sapnap.

"wait, HOW did you say microwave?"

bf!sapnap that has to remind people at the beginning of the stream that it was your one year anniversary last month. and your one year of being official meeting in person the past week.

bsf!george who randomly starts playful arguements with you. or even just teases you when you and nick are standing near eachother.

"wow, are you two gonna get married now?"

"i dunno, george. are you and dream gonna fuck soon?" you ask pointedly without looking up from the cookie your helping nick cut out. "or profess your undying love to eachother?"

bf!sapnap who would get really angry or sad if your embroidered gingerbread character on his apron got dirty.

"dream!! you got flour on yn!!" he would scream running to the sink to try to wash it off. you would be standing across the room, looking down at yourself in confusion

"your such an idot, sapnap," dream would tell him, shaking his head and laughing.

"oh...i thought you actually meant on me-"

and

"who the fuck got frosting on yn!?" he would scream again, stomping over to the sink to wash it off.

"baby, its orange..." you tell him, glancing at george and dream from across the island, trying to hide your smile.

"and?"

"youre the only one using orange..."

bf!sapnap who feels bad when you start running around, trying to clean up the mess they made from decorating the cookies.

"yn, just leave it."

"no, its fine," you tell him with a smile. "i need a clean working space."

"but-"

"nick, let me clean."

dream kinda helps dw

bsf!dream who accidentally bumps into you, causing you to turn around and pretend to square up to him.

"come at me bro!" you say, looking up at him and standing in front of him.

he looks down at you and puffs out his chest and flexes his arms. you do the same and squint your eyes up at him.

"what? got nothin to say?!"

he then lightly pushes your shoulder and you dramatically stumble backwards. you place your hand on your 'wounded' shoulder and look at him in betrayal.

"h-how could you...?"

"you guys are so stupid-"

bf!sapnap who holds your waist when hes has to get past you. or just reaches out to touch your hip if there is space to walk by. or lightly pats your ass when he walks away from standing next to you.

"chat is saying sapnap slapped yn's bum," george says in disgust covered by an accusatory lilt.

"i dont know what theyre talking about," nick says, a smile slowly spreading on his lips.

"wait, chat, is that true?"

"i bet he did," dream comments, ammused.

"wait they're saying he did!"

bf!sapnap who says the gingerbread house he's making is what you two are gonna raise your kids in.

"peaches, this is our house."

"our? as in you and i?" you ask looking at the mess of cookies and frosting.

"and these are our kids..." he says concentrating on putting two m&ms on the front lawn of the sugary house.

"wait, kids-"

chat! who asks about why nick calls you peaches.

"yeah, thats an amazing questions, actually," george says, looking up at you two.

the two of you glance at eachother before looking back down at your gingerbread houses.

"wait, what was that look?" dream asks with a laugh.

"i dunno. nick, you tell them," you say trying to keep your face neutral. "im not the one that came up with it."

"wait, nick, dont you also call her mamas?"

"dream, shut the-"

bf!sapnap who hugs you from behind when he sees how sleep youre starting to get.

"are you tired, ma?" he whispers in your ear.

"no... im good," you say, smiling with drowsy eyes.

he kisses the side of your head and gives your hip a little tap before moving to stand with dream.

i actually kinda like this one. i mightve made reader too much like me so im sorry... yea idk i like it so... yeaa...... comment, like, reblog idfk -Nony

[pumpkinsy0]

HAPPY THANKSGIVING PUMPKINSY0!!!💌

In honor of the THANKSGIVING DAY!!

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

How about headconnons....

Of the whole gang + the Shepards & Buck celebrating Thanksgiving!

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

I thought it would be funny and cute that their celebrating it all together 🎀❗♦♥📿🐞🌹🍒🌶🍷🚨🌡🎈🎴🪀📣☎🔖

ALSO THOUGHT WOULD BE FUNNY IF DARRY PUTS DALLY IN CHARGE OF THE TURKEY [BUT DALLY'S DUMBASS BRINGS A ALIVE TURKEY INSTEAD OF A DEAD TURKEY😂] TAKE YOUR TIME NO RUSH THANK YOU 🙏🏻

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

thank u!!! im not the biggest fan of thanksgiving, my mom loves it tho and so does my family so ill just base these hcs off of em

ALRIGHT SO

•the shepards!!! tims in charge of food, so hes just making haitian food cause thats like the only food he knows how to rlly make

•diri jon jon, lambi, crabs, shrimp, du riz au lait, etc etc rlly a lot of rice and sea food w one dessert

•hes been up literalally all day and night cooking god bless his soul, he did take a small break tho so its all ok

•curly aint the biggest of helpers, he doesnt rlly like thanksgiving like that but tims goin through all the trouble so might as well do somethin so hes not mad later on

•angela’s actually an angel, shes helping cut the lambi and peel and cut the shrimp what a great help in the kitchen

•the shepards r a black haitian family ik they also makin mac and cheese, BAKED☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽 mac n cheese

•meanwhile darry is cooking but not rlly, hes only handling the cranberry sauce n shit

•pony n soda r in charge of baking shit cause that’s genuinely what they’re pretty good at, and i say that a bit hesitantly bc the cookies were a lil burnt, had a lil aftertaste to em, so if they hear a “WHO MADE THE COOKIES🗣️” they silent

•buck is also making some trinidadian food!! now im not too well versed of trinidadian food so it could literally just b whatever trinidadian food u can possible think of

•EVERYONE ELSE??? just bring drinks or somethin

•dally and two bit of course brought the alcohol while everyone else just like, brought apple juice or orange juice, money dont grow on trees

•at the actual celebration they actually do play music!!! mostly caribbean BUT ALSO from other places as well!! they do not care whats on the speaker as long as its good

•ppl even brought dates!!! two bit brought marcia (she invited cheery but yknow sherry didnt wanna leave her fam), dally brought sylvia (ill get to that in a sec), and curly TECHNICALLY brought pony bit not rlly cause they were already going to the celebration so

•sylvia is ALSO haitian but shes more of a baker so she brought haitian cake, kremas, some coconut centered dish and flan 😋😋

•PERHAPS curly, pony, angela, sylvia, dally, and maybe johnny go on THAT ‘walk’ and curly comes back faded before everyone even gets their food, what a loser (i love him), angela and pony got a BIT faded but theyre alright they can generally hide it well, johnny was just there bc pony was there what a great bff xoxo

•dally saw pony gettin a lil high n went “u smoke🤨🤨🤨” but didnt tell darry or soda cause hes not a snitch he already got other things to deal w

•im not even gonna lie to to there’s probably a grown up table where darry, tim, and buck hang out and theres a “indescribable but alive” things table where everyone else is

•SURPRISINGLY NOTHING CRAZY HAPPENED, they were all chattin it up, chillin, no drama no nun, just friends, how great for em!!

•two bit and marcia were dancing most of the time

•steve wasnt rlly doin much he was just secretly making plates to take right tf back home so he dont gotta worry about what hes gonna eat the next few days

•darry actually knocked right tf out after eating so things got a BIT more unhinged but not too bad cause he needs his beauty sleep bad

•pony and curly actually ALSO wasnt doin anythin, rlly they were just in a lil corner talking, they were too full and tires to b doin allat and in curlys case a lil too tipsy cause he was drinking rum, perhaps stolen kisses were shared perhaps not, but who am i to judge

•the ONLY ones who werent being fucking calm was sylvia and dally what a shocker there🙄🙄 but rlly it was only small jabs here n there and even then they werent rlly serious thats just kinda how they do affection, god bless their souls

im doin this in the midst if my family blasting music and doin god knows what so if this isnt what u wanted im srry everythings so loud</33

[vriskabot]

davris morning routine hcs?

YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD I WAS PLAYING MINECRAFT cracks my knuckles. this kinda turned into sleeping habit and self care hcs as a whole sorry not sorry -vriska is not a night owl or a morning person but she IS a long and heavy sleeper. do not wake her up before she is good and ready or you WILL get torn a new asshole bare minimum. if the verbal lashing does not work she will escalate immediately and directly to grievous bodily harm -dave is probably the only person who can manage this without dying but even THEN he would much rather get on her ass about going to sleep on time than get on her ass about getting up in the morning -dave is a much lighter sleeper and honestly naturally a nap guy. i think on a genetic level the strilondes dont sleep long even when they DO manage to sleep (dirk and rose are notorious insomniacs) but i dont think dave really minds it -nobody knows when he sleeps but he does! hes just Constantly Around -this was only further reinforced by living with bro and being trained and all that jazz so daves sort of got a built in alarm clock (lol time player) -in that vein dave can kinda predict when vriska is gonna be up based on what time shes gone to sleep so he can be in and out of the bathroom before she needs to be in there which is. a very very good thing -i think dave was a lot more anal (and anxious) about what he looked like when he was a teen (to the point of being unable to leave the house if his hair wasnt JUST right) but hes way more lax about it now -that being said i also dont think hes gone fully curly girl now that hes okay with his hair having a single iota of texture whatsoever. he just combs it into the style he wants it to dry in and lets nature take the wheel after that (its very soft and vriska LOVES to touch and tousle it) -he MAYBE uses a light pomade while wet if anything but thats only if he NEEDS his hair to stay nice all day -vriska on the other hand. woo buddy. -depending on how im feeling about her styling, shes either full 17 step curly hair routine or blowdried + straightened + hairsprayed until its crunchy even if her hair is naturally already straight -like im sorry shes SO emo -i think a lot of that stemmed from the sort of persona she put on to protect herself that ended up becoming her taste Anyway -the full face of makeup + done hair carries a very Intentional feeling that makes her seem a little less off the wall, has-no-clue-what-shes-doing than she really IS -ultimately its about control! having more control over the interpersonal dynamics and the flow of things based on the kind of assumptions people make about her based on the way she presents herself -dave was doing his similarly insane hair routine at 13 14 15 for the same exact reasons -dont let her fool you though its all smoke and mirrors -when she was in her teens it was definitely a full coverage foundation + powder foundation + pencil liner for EVERYTHING situation and loads of dark eyeshadow -in her adulthood though i think shed be alright with like. a much more lightweight base like bbcream or even just concealer in spots for daily wear and she saves the full face beat for more special occasions like dates and shit -as much as i think dave finds later on in life that he actually kinda enjoys cooking, hes not up making a Full Breakfast every day -theyre both perfectly fine with like. toast and microwave breakfast sausage to eat -vriska however is not to be trusted with the stove. she sucks SO bad at cooking save for the few dishes shes ruined enough times that shes got the experience to do it right -both of them are horrible caffeine fiends. they will drink soda or energy drinks with breakfast and then wonder why their fucking stomachs hurt later -i think in the case of NEEDING caffeine vriska is much more varied in her intake sources--energy drinks, soda, coffee, and tea are all viable options depending on how much energy she feels she needs -dave though... he feels like the "starts with an energy drink and only drinks other stuff when he has a craving" kinda guy

-though maybe thats the raging adhd you tell me -their bed is almost never ever made and both of them live in organized chaos. whether or not they ENJOY the chaos is a different story entirely -vriska is a blanket hog AND a pillow hog so they eventually had to settle on each having their own blankets -vriska loathes mint toothpaste and dave is a cinnamon toothpaste guy so you can imagine how much of a eureka moment vriska had the first time she spent the night -and yes that means she was just bearing with the mint because she had no clue there was any other option -uhhhhh i cant think of much else more on this topic i hope u enjoyed <3

[transdib]

not to sound like an influencer doing a sponsorship but man....hello/fresh has saved my life the last month

ive been giving it a go, and while the novelty has worn off a bit and im still battling some degree of executive dysfunction with cooking...i cannot even BEGIN to explain just how much it's helping me right now

i think the reason it works so well for me personally is that it eliminates every single hurdle i face when cooking. i get really overwhelmed at buying ingredients that may need to be used more than once (sauces, flavours etc) cuz i cant...plan out what meals i could use them for before they expire/perish.

also the idea of measuring things out, doing a lot of prep work and knowing exactly what to do adds to those little head blocks and it piles up to a feeling of impossibility etc.i waste so much money on perishables that expire and it's :/

so having pre-portioned ingredients, everything you have is what you need, has honestly given a spark back into cooking for me.

and i feel silly that i need this right now, cuz i should "just be able to cook" because i CAN cook. but the reality is that my depression and neurodivergence is quite uhhhhh life impacting at the moment. and ive gained so much weight, felt physically unhealthy/tired etc because i was at a stage where i could eat frozen pizzas and chips+pie or 2 min noodles every night. i started to crave fresh veggies and salads so badly, but i never bought them cuz they kept going off and theyre also very expensive ingredients for what they give me. same goes for flavours, where it can cost a lot for a bottle when you dont know if youre gonna finish it in time or like it etc, so you are less motivated to experiment with new flavours

this has been years and years of trying to eat better more consistently, and it seems that HF is finally something that is actually working for me.

a downside is that sometimes the cooking method is a bit inaccurate, but i also luckily have enough cooking skill to recognise and adapt it, so a lot of the cons to it hasnt been a dealbreaker for me yet.

again, ive probably just been riding some kinda high and man. i still feel extremely mentally ill lol, but i can feel the difference that a month of eating better has done for me. ive lost weight, have more energy, saved money (the meals are for 2 people so i get leftovers or 2 nights worth of food) and yeah....

i know this all sounds silly but even if it didnt save much money, i would pay that adhd tax because it's honestly changed my life for the better. not to mention ive also felt inspired to cook and i get to try new flavours which has also been cool! im not eating the same crap every night anymore.

just thought id...idk post some positivity for a change aaaaa

[br1ghtestlight]

"hello burger lady!! tiny people. BOB."

THE SLOW HEAD TURN WHILE FISCHOEDER IS STARING AT THEM LMAOO he's such a freak. what is he doing

aww linda put a smiley face on the check thats so cute. "nooo i enjoyed it :)"

A BROTHERHOOD?? BLOOD OATH? love how louise hears this and immediately stands up she's like hello. hello im interested. PLEASE let me into your blood oath club mr fischoder

babalon like the ancient uhh. thing.

ooooh :0

(also my dad used to call my mom babalon among MANY other creative insults when they were married and this immediately brought that memory back to me. but he said it like babble-on like she was babbling. sorry idk why i wanted to share that)

"and the other members already picked all of the best chefs in town soo im asking you" i literally dont believe fischoeder lmao he definitely just wanted bob to come along as his personal chef and couldn't come up w/ a better excuse like. come on

"a billion dollars" "nope." "a million dollars" "no...." "a billion dollars :D" "she just said that"

i know bob is holding onto fischoeder's back bcuz he cant see but also its like. kinda intimate?? like?

also love bob's new jacket. these are the kinda things you only notice when you've watched WAAYY too many bob's burgers episodes but its a nice jacket :) the blue color suits him. and it has a hood

personally i would be a little more concerned that mr fischoeder only has one eye and it is NOT looking in the direction of the dangerous sharp cliff theyre walking beside. i know he's driven bob in his boat before but he's SOO BLIND WHY ARE YOU WILLINGLY GETTING IN A BOAT WITH HIM <- saying this as someone who doesn't really have vision in one eye or depth perception. i wouldnt give in a boat with myself driving either

"it was actually kinda fun to come up with!! i-i hope you like it :)" bob is so sweet im gonna cry. he's so excited about cooking SOMEONE LET HIM RANT ABOUT HIS SPECIAL INTEREST RIGHT NOW. he's in autism heaven

NOT THE TIKTOK MENTION 😭😭

recognize some of these guys from the gingerbread house episode which was another horrible experience for bob lmao

"can i keep hiiim? 🥺" what is his PROBLEM

WAS HE WORKING THE OMLETTE STATION AT YOUR LAST SEX PARTY??? <- brand new sentence

also this 100% confirms to me that fischoeder has had sex with every old ass man on this camping trip bcuz NO WAY he's getting rich old woman pussy im sorry. i do think he's bisexual but his sex parties are male-exclusive. he fucked those old men

not looking forward to whatever is going to happen to bob in this episode.

I ALWAYS FORGET FISCHOEDER IS LIKE A HARDCORE DRUG ADDICT remember that time he did mushrooms in s13 That would explain some things. that weren't already explained by the alcoholism

bob is surprisingly chill considering the circumstances and the fact that he's getting less than a thousand dollars of restaurant equipment out of this. i know he trusts fischoeder (for some reason i dont entirely understand) but being blindfolded and taken to a secret island with a bunch of rich old men and having NO CELL SIGNAL and everybody is drugged as hell.... he doesn't even know where he is..... GIRL RUN‼️‼️

also there's only one bed in fischoeder's tent which means there's either a seperate camping section for the chefs (unlikely) he expects bob to sleep outside in the storm (very likely) or bob and fischoeder are going to have to share a bed 👀👀 i know its probably not going to be addressed but i need somebody to write And There Was Only One Bed bob x fischoeder fanfic about this episode immediately. like that needs to happen

bob realizing that the chances of him dying on this camping trip are quickly reaching eighty or ninety percent ooh he's COOKED

"Don't wear brown and black. Never look into someone's eyes..." "Bring your own fork. And briefcase." "Of course. Everyone knows that." "And leave one of your shoes as a gift." "But you have to hide it..." gene and louise are SOO silly i love them so much. they play off each other so well its like a constant improv class

this subplot is Trying To Teach Tina Social Skills meanwhile gene and louise don't have them either they just dont give a fuck about learning them. well louise knows them she just disregards them. gene doesn't know ANYTHING

HAHAHA BOB REALIZING THEYRE LEAVING HIM THERE TO DIE. ITS NEVER BEEN MORE OVER love him not even acknowledging their crazy fire drug-induced dancing he's so used to this bullshit. bob should get a week off after this MINIMUM but we all know he loves cooking too much for that

NOT MR FISCHOEDERS GAY ASS HIP SHAKE?????????

mfw im the only sober person at a crazy drug party full of rich people on an island during a deadly storm and its only Tuesday. 😐

UH OH IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE. BOB REALIZES HES SO FUCKED

aww its kinda cute he's making sure that fischoeder is taken care of too and packing up all their things. dad instincts

at a certain point u kinda have to call him calvin dude. like you're WELL past "mr fischoeder" territory in this situation <- is also calling him mr fischoeder in this review

"shh he's hunting us" is probably NOT what bob wanted to hear

there's something about this that is sooo.....

in defense of bob he has almost died or been killed with fischoeder SEVERAL times before this episode including in the movie. its like a male bonding thing for them at this point

"and i invented a new way to tie a tie" I KNEW I WASNT CRAZY FOR THINKING THAT LOUISES TIE WAS TIED WRONG IN THAT SCREENSHOT i love that i picked up on that and felt the need to point it out. having never worn a tie before in my life (not to my knowledge at least)

this is literally what it feels like when ur autistic and trying to understand neurotypical social conventions. tina is trying SO HARD she's such a sweet girl :( its okay baby girl i understand i get it

THE BITEY GUY HAS A NAME BOB

am i allowed to say that bob with wet hair is kinda 👀👀🔥

why'd he kiss him like that ??

he's suuuch a sweetie in his oversized jacket <3

"No, no. Plants don't like sweet drinks!" "Just hard liquor?"

"dad is missing a WILD night" *hard cut to bob tied up and being used as a human sacrifice for cannibalism*

WHAT WAS RHAT. WHY DID CALVIN LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT. YES IM USING HIS LEGAL FIRST NAME BCUZ WTF WAS THAT GAY ASS GUILTY LOOK?? HES NEVER BEEN GUILTY BEFORE he care so much about bob im gonna throw up. what the hell

HE LIIIKES HIM 😭 HE FELT GUILTY BCUZ HE LOVES AND CARES ABOUT BOB THIS IS SO FUCKED UP 😭😭💕

he probably also feels guilty that this is like the sixth time he's gotten bob into a near death situation. like at a certain point it starts to feel personal yknow

*howling* "god. i hate when he does that"

straight up on the verge of a meltdown. i dont even blame him tbh

bob isnt WRONG but also we are talking about a crazy drugged up cannibal who thinks he's a wild animal so maybe we could leave saving him until tomorrow morning? like idk i feel like he wouldnt exactly fit on their dingy. and even if he did what if he bites

"and you do have to come for ice cream!! it wont be any fun without you" okay thats kinda cute. this episode definitely kept up to pace with the insane homoerotic relationship between bob and fischoeder and im happy about that. almost gave us the tiniest hint into what fischoeder really feels/thinks about bob which. yeah

VERY UNHINGED EPISODE BUT REALLY FUN AND CUTE?? everything between bob and fischoeder was so. soo. yknow. and the subplot was funny and cute too :) very sweet little episode i always love when they go off on adventures like w/ teddy in sea me now. and of course their (many many) near death experiences together thats truly what its all about baby!!! really enjoyed this episode it was exactly the right amount of unhinged and funny

[acaciapines]

so....abt that adventure time daemon au....sits down with folded hands. im SO SO curious as to what your thoughts are and lowkey wondering if theyre anything like what ive been cooking up in my twisted mind...slash joke...YOU GO FIRST I WANNA KNOW!!

jkdfgdjfkg yeah im gonna focus on the fionna + cake aspects since thats what i posted but if you wanna know about someone else send a followup!! i have the strongest ideas for marceline and more scattered thoughts on everyone else but!! i turn this around in my head a lot lol.

under the cut bc i am incapable of being short

so. the reason fionna world is Like It Is despite nominally being a human au is bc i decided that in ooo, humans are the only people with daemons! everyone else has Something Else, but that something else isnt actually a daemon (this bit is still fuzzy lol since it would just be more bg in anything i write).

so that means the only characters in adventure time who have/had a daemon are finn (tossing around the name honey for her?? shes unsettled but mostly dogs bc they grew up with dogs lol), marceline (she lost her daemon upon becoming a vampire, gets her back at the end of stakes. do not ask me what she is settled as idk as of now lol), and simon (lost her upon becoming ice king, he does Not get her back. i think its fun if she is a penguin bc that makes ice king surrounding himself w penguins super tragic. he knows something is gone but cannot articulate what.)

also i guess people like susan strong and the humans on the human island but shhhh i dont have super strong ideas for them lol.

ALL THAT TO SAY. since fionnaworld was created by prismo (gonna be real idk what his deal is but he is obviously His Own Thing and as a deity type deal he probably is granted w 'can see dust' powers and thus has no idea what daemons are all about) and lives in ice kings/later simons head (one who doesnt know about daemons and one who is mourning the permanent loss of his own) when fionna and cake were "created" finn jake and finn's daemon were mashed into two characters, who are! human and daemon.

everyone else either never had a daemon in normal ooo (ex. pb) or didnt have them at the time fionnaworld was created and thus they werent carried over (ex. marceline.) of everyone tho probably marshall WOULD know the most, this is why he has a line in my fic where he's like, do you know what i'd do for a weird cat? as a sort of hint that he SHOULD have a daemon, but. alas.

uhhh. where am i going with this.

OH RIGHT so yeah basically when fionnaworld became de-magicked it took with it a lot of people's points of connection--everyone ends up way more isolated than they were. since simon is mourning his own daemon that translates to daemons just Not Existing, and so fionna and cake are very much isolated from each other. they dont have the words for their relationship. all fionna knows is she needs cake with her, and vice versa.

cake IS still a daemon, but without that framework shes stuck in the 'normal cat' role even though she does a lot of noncatlike things, n her and fionna are very very good still at sorta knowing what the other is thinking and reacting accordingly. the people closest to fionna (so, really just marshall and gary lol) have SOME idea of what is up but if asked its more leftover instinct than like, the ability to actually explain any of this. fionna and cake try to interact w the world as a human-daemon pair but that doesnt work when the world has no fucking idea what that is.

uh. that. probably answers some question!! i think the plot of fionna and cake itself is MOSTLY the same...really fionna and cake just find out there is a word for who they are to each other n get that relationship reestablished which isnt a far cry from canon. i really like the stuff they do with betty/simon so i wouldnt want to change that, though i imagine there is a bit of simon mourning his lost daemon too--idk i feel like you could tie those feelings in if you were to write a full adaptation but i!! dont think enough changes to do that so i wont be lol.

i mostly just wanted to do episode one bc again. daemon in a world that doesnt know wtf a daemon is. truly the funniest and most tragic thing in the world.

[ofallplaceswhythis]

tcoptp thoughts pt.19

IM IN A REALLY GOOD MOOD GUYS!! I ACTUALLY AM!! CADENCE CHEERED ME UP!! IM SO HAPPY TBH EFHSDOGHSFOG

MARLENE SCORED YTDGVIUSHGJDSHGMZXBGVSDB

sam is like the personification of young children who don't know what to do when they find out and if they never have remus they would never know

im gonna stab those boys every night (im clenching my fists rn)

THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING FGASDIFYGSDIYUFG

'i always thought that if regulus was to reproduce it would be asexually' 'break of one arm and a new annoying little cunt starts growing in its place' sirius ily

oh minnie you sweet summer child (i need to keep the tradition)

marlene finally being able to see a part of women history <33

......oh trish.....

THEYRE SINGING UEGFKUDVSUDGVKUHDGVDGVUD

God i love them

sunflower picking each other's song <333

OF FUCKING COURSE SIRIUS PICKED BOHEMIAN RAPHSODY DFHGSDFGNSKGKAGKSUGKSFHGFGDSFGSDFGSRYERTHDBD

THEY GOT THEIR OWN PLACE

YES SIRIUS CAN COOK AGENDA COMING THROUGHH

DORCAS YESSSSS

DORCAS' TYPE IS BLONDES (why am i so suprised)

KINGSLEY

DORCAS IS DEE??!??!?!? SEAMEADOWS WAS/IS ESTABLISHED?!

'they're shagging again' 'not on the drumset!' peter ily

REGULUS CALLED YESSS GDSSDSFSDFSDGDFGYTYS

TOM IS HERE!!!! FINALLY SDFSDFSDFFWEFWDAASDFADFWEG

.......WHAT THE FUCK TOM. LIKE ACTUALLY WHAT ?!1

HE'S A GODFATHER I REPEAT HES A GODFATHER FUCKING EYSABFESFBASUFBWIGBIUWGBIUWEGBIWEGIUWE

...does he not realise that the "queen" is a guy

theyre being scammed theyre being scammed theyre being scammed i can feel it guys think about too good to be true do none of you know how to bargain fuck sdfghjk

.....Remus... stop.... NO

GUYS JUST THINK LIKE PLEASE DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW>!>!>!>!>!>!>@@>@<#!>@m42Y4UY4I12Y41

Remus you need to know the different types of love it isnt necessary that the love you feel is romantic

'youre my family' excuse me while i go cry my eyes out. peace V

I FUCKING KNEW IT THEY WERE BEING SCAMMED FUCK GUYS

[faenemy]

Hii don't mind me, just wanted to ramble abt Mark and friends series in ur ask box cuz why not :3 (you've drawn fanart of them b4 btw!)

SO LETS START OFF WITH SOME CONTEXT. Mark and friends is a completed series on YouTube made by this guy ashur gharavi, it follows the story of Mark blah blah i can't talk in this format snymore I need to go silly mode holf on. SO MARK IS GHIS 'LITTLE MONSTER' KID RIGHT, AND ANOTHER CHARACTER IS BILLY WHO IS AN ADUKT HUMAN. SO THE SERIES IS KINDA LIKE A KIDS CARTOON BUT WITH BLOOD AND MURDER. BILLY KIDNAPPED MARK AND FORCED HIM TO DO STUFF FOR CAMERA. AS THE SERIES GO ON, THERE WILL BE LITTLE HINTS IN THE FORM OF NEWSPAPER OF LIKE WHATS ACTUALLY GOING ON AND WHY HES FOING THIS. READ EVERY SINGLE BACKGROUND NEWSPAPER EVEN IF IT DOESNT FEEL IMPORTANT, THE LITTLE DETAILS ARE SOOOO GOOD. MARK IS LIKE 10 YEARS OLD AND HES LITERALLY SO CUTE, HE DONT DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENWD TO HIM. IM NOT GONNA SPOIL THE ENDING FOR U, CUZ ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD I REMEMBWR WHEN I FIRST WATCHED IT AND THE ENDINV IS JUST SO PULLING MY HEAET STRINGS AND LIKE SUCH A TENSE SCENE YK. ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD, THERE ARE 3 COMPILATIONS OF IT (PART 1,2 AND 3) I THINK ITS LIKE 2 HOURS LONG PLEASE PLEASE WATCH IT (ONLY IF U WANNA OFC NO PRESSURE) I LOVE THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH THEYRE SO WELL WRITTEN, I HATE BILLY BUT I LOVE HOW WELL HIS CHARACTER AND MANIPULATION IS WRITTEN HES SO FUCKING CRUEL. I LOVE HOW ASHUR ISNT AFRAID TO JUST FUCKIMG MAKE HIM DO TERRIBLE AWFUL SHIT. I LOVE IT SO MJCH ITS SO CREATIVE I LOVE MARK TOO, HWS SO CUTE I LOVE DRAWING HIM. OH AND ALSO, ITS CANON THAT TWOMP TAKES PLACE AFTERRR THAT SERIES AND MARK IS FRIENDS WITH ARGOS AND MR PLANT. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO UGHHHHH. THE ACTOR IS EYE CANDY TOO HES SO COOL. PLEASE WATCH IT ILL GIVE U A COOKIE IF U DO (AGAIN, ONLY IF U WANNA THO NO PRESSURE) :3

SOME PICTURES ^^

(This ask wasn't proofread btw)

HI HI HI Thank you for the ask box rambles I love them <3

Definitely did not go and binge the whole series, nope, not me

ANYWAY MY RAMBLINGS AS I WATCHED AND THOUGHTS UNDER CUT

I love this little green guy!

Marks parents seem to be murdered (go figure)

I'm assuming he was kidnapped in an ice cream truck/van??

Mark is kept in a cage without an actual bed it seems, at least when he isn't on camera

Are the puppets the actual children, or do they just represent them?

Mark keeps rubbing his side/stomach, maybe where his kidney was removed??

Child star shows an actual person so kidnapper might have started as a child star?

Grandma knows her kiddo is still alive (GET HIS ASS)

Is the plant guy who killed Big Monster Mr plant?

Donovan escapes???

Cupcake monster gets killed (very sadge)

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY PUT TOMATOES IN A FRUIT SALAD??? JAIL!!!!

apparently monsters are edible, might be some cannibali going on?

Also humans are considered monsters in this world

In "cooking" the newspaper is obscured, but it seems to read (missing childs body found, but not his head) Cupcake Monster???

UPDATE DEFO CUPCAKE MONSTER NOOOOOO

No Illinois, Minnesota or Indiana

Maybe the other kids were from Minnesota and Indiana, since Mark is from Illinois?

Aight my man was defo the child star, I'm assuming he is repeatimg the crimes of big monster???

Oop so search led to Indiana, snap my prior theory lol

Big monsters cousin changes last name

Frame lasted long on that, so I assume it's important

I keep forgetting Billy's name LMAO

Big monster and sewer? Seems like an It reference

So they're near Michigan now, noted

WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME :(((( I luv paper bag dog NOOOOOO

Mark seems more vocal and challeging billy more now

Billy straight up gave the kids psychedelics my god

Someone save the child pls

Donovan my beloved is traumatized:((((

Oooooh the photos in the background are crying now, I think those are Marks parents?

Mr plant defo killed Big Monster, king shit

OOOOOH

okay so kid star (johnny) met with big monster in the sewer, got murdered

But Billy was the one who encouraged him to, Billy was going to star in the movie before Big Monster was convicted. So he was the kid who was crying in the article because his role was dropped

NOOOOOO MARK IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS

Get HIS ASS GRANDMA

I can't read the teleprompter, get this dude some glasses.

Just remembered how Mark cannonicly has his photos taken???? And sold I think??? Wtf???

Donovan had started a charity:((( he thinks his friends are gone

The date on the newspaper in the back keeps changing

Can I fight Billy??? I think I could take him easy

Mark straight up ate a razor blade get this kid a doctor

OH MY GOSH THEY'RE GOING TO THE DOCTOR

APOLLO HAS BLESSED ME

the eye test in the back reads "Mark has one more week before I kill him" if my new son dies I riot

Can I adopt Mark

Goal list; dispose, replace, repeat

I wonder if there are other shows featuring Donovan and Cupcake Monster?

Why were they kidnapped?

Befriend that strange man??? NOOOO

Did my son just kill Billy???? HELL YEAH

RUN BOY RUN

MY SON IS SAFE!!!!

In conclusion, I would like to adopt Cupcake Monster, they are now my child. I would also like to punch Billy repeatedly :D

[henriiiii-1001old]

tell me more about cesar in the fairytale au!! or anything about the uhhhhhh news cast au i cant remember the name of ti right now im sorry

i keep forgetting i need to make my fucking channel 3 subplot au masterpost ough </////3 i also just need to make more content abt it in general but fairy tale au got stuck in my headdd <//////3 (also nw on not remembering the name its fucking long as shit so i get it xdddd )

um i'll just say it here, theres this one tmc oc (he's basically an oc/self insert of a music artist. yknow the guy who did overthrone and intruder? yeah, that guy) i decided to add in bc haha funny news reporter. his name is langston solover (i fucking love that name idk why) and he's actually an alternate.

there used to be a real langston, but he got killed by some other alt who took his place. started spreading propaganda about like "the true savior" and shit and the newscast was like "nonono let him cook he's kinda onto something"

he is honestly also just a silly goofy guy i love him <3

ANYWAYS FAIRY TALE CESAR!!!!!

ok this will only make sense if i bring the other characters in so let me give a brief summary of one of the bigger moments of the au

SO, the fabled four solved the whole evie getting poisoned thing, and theyre all chilling. someone finds evie and decides to snitch on her being away from the castle for too long. things happen where evie and adam get taken to her castle, she gets locked in her room but eventually escapes w adam and all that (you know what im talking abt reaper but im just gonna keep it vague and i'll explain the full thing to everyone else later :3 )

cesar actually had become increasingly worried about evie since she had been missing for a few days. after hearing she was with a witch of all people, he was extremely concerned.

he does have a good reason not to trust adam though, cesar had saved mark and sarah from one who was literally about to kill them, and cesar also got cursed by the same one who tried killing them. he had stayed as a frog for years, and when he finally broke free of the curse, he had become so deformed that his family didnt even recognize him.

but no matter how hard he tried, evie wouldnt change her mind.

and neither would cesar for a good long time, especially since one of evie's castle staff ended up being on the witches' side gathering info for them. he'd eventually come around and trust evie that adam means no harm. he doesnt trust adam directly, but hey, that's a good start!!!

[angelo-the-doctor-of-feelings]

hi mikey! do you have any new art out recently? how are you doing? hows the family?

i have ADHD too btw :)

ive been feeling a bit bummed out recently lately, mental health wise, so my first thought was coming and talking to you! you dont have to worry about typing out a whole entire response, but your energy just brightens up my day instantly!

ive been struggling a lot with making friends recently. i just started my sophomore year of high school and im at a new school (same students though) and its just been really scary. i have two really good friends that ive been friends with for four years now, but i really want more friends too, y'know? im really awkward and shy and its really really hard for me to talk to people i want to be friends with. i do know other people i get along with, but they arent the kinda people i would actually hang out with, more just talk to sometimes if that makes sense?? its getting to a point where im overly concerned about people liking me. theres this group of people at my school i REALLY want to be friends with, cause theyre the kinda gay emo group that i would fit perfectly in as a gay emo... but that just makes it THIS MUCH MORE intimidating!! theyre so cool and i want them to see that! i just dont know how to talk to them without irritating them.

im just kinda clueless at this point, mike! i know that im a good and cool person once you get to know me but im so awkward around new people that it completely changes the way i act. i kinda stiffen up and talk weirdly formally and quietly and my usual confidence goes WAY down. im normally very outwardly confident (Leo kinnie heree✌) but i become just a bit less so around new people.

well i think im gonna wrap up my little ramble now, lmao. i wasnt planning on writing all this i was just thinking of a short paragraph😭

well again, have a great day mikey! you deserve it!!

Hiya,anon!!!

I haven't done ANY art besides just chaotic painting on canvas & spraying with @emerson-the-psycho , BUT I have done some nice cooking, which counts as art?

We're doing nicely, I mean, we're still very chaotic & there's trouble here & there... But it's been fun so far!

Also, yaaaay ADHD buddies!!! 🥳

I'm glad I am able to brighten your day 🥰🧡(maaan I need to spread more positivity - I see so many sweet posts & then I'm like 'oh yeah, I should reblog this' & then I don't do it because I thought I already did but I haven't & then the post is gone because I had moved on & the opportunity is gone then too -)

You are great as you are.

If you see people & think 'WOW, they match my energy', go to them. The right people will definitely match your vibe too & you'll click.

And it's super great if you voice your fears. 'Hey, you seem nice, I want to talk to you, but I'm a biiiit anxious, hehe, but you seem so cool & we might share the same interests-'. They WILL see that you truly mean it. And it will brighten their day, believe me. And if YOU are open with your fears, it'll be easier to let your true self show. 😌

I know that society wants people to 'show off', but I think for getting in touch with possible friends it's best to be completely honest. That's what people like. Or should like at least.

Also, ADHD VIBES ARE THE BEST.🥳🧡✨☀️

I'm rooooooting for yaaaaa!

🧡✨🧡✨🧡

[lanaevyssmoved]

3, 7, 10, 37 and 50 + your most special OC atm for the OC questions?

3. Do they enjoy cooking?

i think if u put afhiri in front of a fire something terrible would happen :) however since her mans be a housewife in disguise who absolutely adores cooking for everyone and anyone, they definitely Watch.. and they think it's Really Cool and Awesome.. they are indeed impressed that gale can make things that taste good . but absolutely no one would trust afhiri to cook. i think gale would scream as an instant reaction if she reached for a cooking utensil .........

7. Do they have any unusual fears?

hmmmmmmm.. this is a difficult one.

i can see afhiri being the type of person who fears absolutely nothing. i mean, i don't think they do fear anything, genuinely. this clown doesn't have that part of the brain that yells danger danger for them to experience fear in a base regard. they absolutely fear for their friends lives when they're hurt in combat, they fear gale's death, they fear very real and understandable things. but these things are also cured so quickly with a reassuring word because if loved one says there's no need to fear there's no need to fear! unusual though?

i can see them having stupid, illogical, weird one off fears, "what if you turn into a gnoll!" "can't turn into a gnoll, dear, i'm not a hyena" "oh....... thats good. being a gnoll would be pretty cool though" "yes dear" you know how it is. can absolutely see astarion giving a shit ass comment like YOU'RE AFRAID OF THAT BUT NOT THE MYRAID OF THINGS WE'VE ENCOUNTERED THAT WERE ACTUALLY LIFE THREATENING? ah.. theres no point fighting it astarion you will only exhaust urself my friend

but it is safe to say even the weird fears could not be considered real fear, just being a bit stupid

10. Do they have any regrets?

no, easily, no. i don't see afhiri being capable of regret. every action is done on instinct, it's gut reaction, it's doing what feels right at the time and there's no way you can regret being true to yourself like that. even in those rare occasions they look to friends for guidance, how can they regret a choice they had help with, when that help came from someone they love and trust entirely? nah, there's no regret in this clown

37. Are they religious? If so do they have a strong sense of faith, are they uncertain, or are they somewhere in between?

afhiri is fucking stupid and didn't think gods were real. in a d&d setting. absolute moron (affectionate). it wasn't until being close to the explicitly religious members of the group (shadowheart and gale) that they started to think about it seriously and not like fairytales for children. since these two are like. yknow. very insistent that gods do be real things, afhiri, she believes they are real things now. progress. but that just leads to immense dislike. ok, so ur telling me, that higher beings with the ability to do whatever the fuck they want, including help people in need, not allow people like my family to struggle with basic things like making sure everyone can eat today, could help us with our problems, and theyre also.. causing your hand to hurt constantly, and making my babyboy clowny silly wizard man cry at night? ok. so why do we worship them? sounds like theyre shitheads. does a strong sense of faith mean a strong sense of im gonna punch shar and mystra so hard in the nose it collapses into their skulls? (breaks her own hand. worth it)

its safe to say if afhiri is opinionated on anything its that the things hurting their loved ones are evil. that includes gods

50. What is your favourite thing about them?

answered here hehe

but instead this time i'll say my favourite thing about afhiri is that they've helped me bond with so many cool people who care about my ideas and creativity and i think thats really neat and deserves to be appreciated by speaking it into the world in a small moment of vulnerability

[dballzposting]

Not over the idea that like.

Well imagine that you’re Ms Chichi right. And your son Goten has matured into a right slag and he seems to always be on the phone with some new girl. And you keep telling him time and time again “Stay away from those city girls!” but he does not listen. City girls are deviant whores with no morals and the ONLY exception is of course dear Videl , who is from the city but is an amazing girl with a good head on her shoulders and who has an excellent moral compass. Videl is a great wife and mother. 

But most city girls are skank whores and you keep trying to tell your second son to STAY AWAY FROM THOSE CITY GIRLS and you implore him to start THINKING ABOUT HIS FUTURE but he just seems wholly unbothered. He thinks he has it under control. And then next week he’s chatting up a different girl. 

Eventually he comes home with a sweet young thing named Palace and she’s sweet so you’re courteous back but she’s also a complete fucking ditz. And that’s fine but it’s just that .... well ... you’re Ms Chichi and you want your sons to marry good women who can be good wives and mothers, you know? And this sweet young thing does not know how to cook a single dish.

But then you find out that it’s because she’s rich, so, you’re enthusiastic about her after that. 

And though she’s daft, she’s definitely well-intentioned and tries to be respectful, so you like her well enough. And you’re definitely glad when she sticks around a while and when it starts to seem like this is Goten’s forever girl.

And yknow, you’re Ms Chichi, so you start pushing them to get married after like, three months in (which is definitely longer than the grace period you had given your first son). And of course Goten is like OMG MOM STOP LOL and hes all nervous and anxious and hesitant, like, IM NOT GONNA MARRY HER NOW ... LOL.

But you’re Ms Chichi and you see the way they look at each other and you know better. And you’re definitely not completely trusting of this city girl’s ability to commit, but, over time, you start to settle into having hope for her. 

But, still. It’s a long time until they get married. But you suppose that Gohan and Videl took their time too, and did that Saiyaman 1 + 2 thing for a while before settling down.

But, like, Goten and Palace REALLY take their time making it official. And you sit back and watch for years as they seem to want to spend most of their time hanging out. And Palace is rich but she has the hobby and passion of working at Hot Topic 4 days a week, and that’s cool and all but you’re really hoping that she’ll settle down into being a housewife soon. And Goten STILL spends a lot of time with Trunks, even though Trunks has the utmost responsibility of being President of Capsule Corp now, and like, you understand that they’ve always been close, but there comes a time in a man’s life where he needs his friends less and he needs his wife and kids more, yknow? But Goten has no kids because he won’t marry Palace and the three of them altogether hang out quite a bit and though they seem to stiffen into a more formal register when you’re around, you catch them giggling and joking and playing around when they think that you’re out of earshot. And sure, you love that they get along, and you love the loving atmosphere that theyre cultivating, but what you dont understand is WHY WON’T THEY BRING SOME CHILDREN INTO THAT ATMOSPHERE ? It does seem strange to you that Goten keeps Trunks around as much as he keeps his girl around, because surely they’re grown by now and need not to indulge in boyish antics anymore, but you see that Trunks and Palace get along swimmingly as well, and you’d be willing to accept that if only Goten showed signs of moving forward by marrying that girl.

And, well, eventually they DO get married. Eventually you say to him for the millionth time “I don’t know why you don’t just marry her already!” And this time he agrees with you. He says, “Yknow, I don’t know why I haven’t married her yet either.” And then they’re engaged to marry the following day, and then they get married the following month. 

And it’s like, THANK GOODNESS !! But not all is well. You see, Goten and Palace decide to settle down in the city. And you were hoping that Goten would keep close and be there to look after you in your old age, as he had once promised. But the city had gotten to him and now he seems to have forgotten his rural roots. You are bitter with him, although he visits you often, and brings his wife along as well, and often times even his best friend. 

Your doubts are never quite ameliorated, but after a year or two, some news arrives that makes you forgive it all - Palace is expecting a baby! So the city girl COULD commit, so Goten HAS settled down into the married life, so you WILL have a grandbaby from your second son! It’s a very tense and exciting time, and you assert yourself to make sure that all the preparations are performed smoothly. 

Needless to say, you are very excited and scared when the baby is finally due. And you’re in the waiting room of a city hospital, and you’re pacing, and Gohan and Videl and Pan are all there, and you barely managed to drag Goku along, and Palace’s family is there, and you’re pacing a hole in the ground. Occasionally Gohan will try to get you to sit, and sometimes you let him try, and other time you just keep pacing. 

Surely, surely, surely there would have been news by now? Goten should have stepped out with news of a healthy birth and a happy baby by now. Is everything okay? Has something terrible happened? You grab a passing doctor by the lapel and your first son has to physically drag you back to your seat.

And youre all momentarily distracted by Trunks appearing suddenly in the room. he looks startled himself, with that dazed look of having been traveling at mach speed only to stop abruptly and steeply at a destination - and he’s fresh out of work with his suit still on and his tie loosened by his quick travel. And you realize that, of course he’d be here too, and you realize that he rushed out of work as soon as he could. 

And only then does Goten appear, and you rise from you seat to accept whatever dire news he carries - but he moves directly to Trunks, his posture sheepish becasue he knows he’s ignoring you, and he asks Trunks to come back to the room with him real quick, and you stand and watch, stunned, as just as quickly as they arrived, they both just disappear into the catacombs of the hospital without so much as relieving you with an intimation of good news. 

You’re too angry to see and exhausted from pacing, so you just collapse into your seat and seethe. You put your head in your hands and decide to just let it happen. You don’t know what Palace’s family is going through on the other end of the room and you don’t look.

But they’re gone for a while, and what on Earth is happening back there that Goten would bring his Best Friend in but not his MOTHER ? Gohan tries to remind you that the birth of a child is a sensitive thing, and he assures you that if things were bad then they would have found out by now, but you are irate and inconsolable. Goku seems to have taken it upon himself to be blithely social with Palace’s father across the room, and that’s fine by you.

After what feels like an ETERNITY, Goten comes back out. He’s wringing his hands together nervously and he has news. He looks like he had been crying, but the weight of joy is evident by the weary and awkward smile that he tries to bite back.

You stand, everyone stands, he goes right up to you this time. He looks like he wants to speak, but he sees everyone stand and crowd around him, so he waits for everyone to gather, and he looks at the ground, and he says “Um,” and you immediately feel sick. 

You ask him if everyone is alright, and before waiting for an answer, you start to list all of the things that could go wrong. Your list grows increasingly nonsensical and he shakes his head “no” at every one. He silently pleads for the floor and does not get it until Gohan puts his hand on your shoulder and gently asks you to let Goten speak. 

So you all look at Goten and wait for him to speak and he looks at you and he looks at Palace’s parents and he looks at Gohan and Videl and he seems to wince in apology. Then he says that everyone is okay, that it was a healthy birth, and that the baby is beautiful. 

But there’s just one thing. “It’s um. Well. The baby’s not mine,” he says. And then, like he doesn't know what else to say or how to say it, he blurts out: “It has blue hair.”  

You don’t know what the fuck this means, but you hear Videl go “Ohh,” and you hear Gohan go “Oh.....OH,” and you remember holding Bulma’s blue-haired second-borne, and you remember how frequently Goten and Palace were seen with Trunks in their midst.

And when you wake up, you’re leaned back in a waiting room chair, and Gohan is holding an ice pack to your head, and Goku is remarking that he hadn’t seen you faint like that in years, and that maybe you’re not eating enough, and hey, are we all going to go out for dinner after this to celebrate or...?

[emet-selch-apologism]

Morose/Pelle: 2, 5, 17, 28

Void: 3, 8, 20, 31, 37

Nu/Vil: 1, 14, 26, 34, 38

dnd ask meme

i got up out of bed to answer this on my pc so dedicated am i to talking about my most special boys

going under read more because its gonna be long <3 ALSO adding images of everyone to hopefully make it easier to tell whos who

Morose/Pelle

left: pelle right: morose

2. What does saving a person involve?

morose and pelle are of one mind on this, that they cant really "save" a person unless they want to be saved. so their strategy would be less about them swooping in to save the day and more about being there to help the save-ee get out of a bad situation. this is MUCH more pelles purview than moroses though, hes more of a "provide resources and encouragement without being asked" kind of guy whereas morose is more of a "im not gonna push you but im here if you want to talk about it" kind of guy.

5. What is your PC’s idle animation?

for morose itd probably be him taking out his grimoire and taking notes in it. its a grimoire first and foremost, but he also uses the margins as a scientific journal if he doesnt have one of his dedicated notebooks on hand

pelle would keep it simple, probably just doing some small turns so his sleeves swish around. or probably any other gentle motion, like rocking or swaying

(the sleeves ^)

17. What are your PCs favorite fruits (not including gay people)

each other

morose likes apples. probably has something to do with how long he was a teacher for, his students DEFO would occasionally give him apples before or after class

pelle cant pick a favorite, hes so jazzed about all of the food that mortals produce and eat and cook. he loves all food

28. When your PCs want comfort, what do they seek out? 

each other

other than each other though

for morose, hed try to involve himself in his hobbies. this literally always means doing research and science and alchemy. hes been autistic about the arcane sciences for 200+ years and hes not gonna stop now

for pelle, who is very well adjusted, it usually means doing one of the hundreds of mortal hobbies he picked up in his retirement, or taking a walk and appreciating the worlds beauty, or talking to one of the zombie kids he takes care of, or meditating

generally speaking though when they need comfort both of them immediately turn to the other

Void

3. How would your PC describe themselves?

void is pretty difficult to get the gist of because their setting is so specific, but i will try my best

i dont think void knows how to describe themself. they basically just manifested into existence with full sapience and no identity. their entire character arc revolves around them trying to figure out who they are, wanting to be a person but convinced that they have no choice to be oasis (the dead god theyre the reincarnation of).

they dont even know that theyre a god yet.

since they have no sense of identity as a person, i dont think theyd try to describe themselves like one. theyd probably describe themselves as "the tear" (a rift in the sky between the material plane and a mysterious higher plane that no one has ever gone to, which is believed to be the source of all the Big Problems in the setting) or "the neverplane" (said Problem Plane). they might call themselves an etherbeing (a creature formed from the ether in the neverplane which consumes the ether of mortals on the material plane), but that wouldnt be totally accurate.

8. How decisive is your PC?

EXTREMELY indecisive. despite thinking its futile void wants nothing more than to fight their nature and just be a normal person, so any decision they have to make has to go through both their God Thoughts and then their Normal Person Thoughts. and, more often than not, these two sides are at odds with each other making it hard to decide pretty much anything. theyll freeze up if they think too long about any decision they have to make

20. What type of chocolate do they prefer? 

theyve never tried eating food before. i dont think they could even if they wanted to. but if they could i think theyd like white chocolate best

31. What’s your favorite part of playing your PC? 

I GET TO BE SOOO AUTISTIC. void is so autistic and i get to completely unmask and call it rp

actually though my favorite part of playing void isnt even rping as them at the table, its planning for future sessions and getting to go so deep into their psychology. the way ive set up godhood in the setting inherently poses a LOT of existential questions about the gods, and void is even more complicated because they want to fight against their godhood. theyre a lot of fun to explore mentally

37. What flower represents your PC?

so funny you ask this one for them because void is the only character of these five that has an actual in game lore related flower motif! glowing white dahlias! they spring up in significant places void has been to, they bloom out of the dust left behind by dead etherbeings, they can create them at will, etc.

Nuvia/Vilereth

(nuvia controls the left side, vilereth controls the right)

1. Does your PC believe it’s possible to save someone?

vilereth does. hes not usually inclined to do so (the only people hes tried to save is nuvia and nuvias sister elizabeth) but he thinks its possible to. he also probably thinks its a lot easier than it actually is. hes incredibly overconfident in his own abilities

nuvia is more of a tossup. i think usually he doesnt think its possible to save people (if he could have been saved then why didnt anyone save him from the cult who put a demon in his body). but if pushed hes still willing to try. but the list of people hed be willing to risk himself to save is very very short

14. How does your PC feel about white lies?

vilereth is lying all the time its his favorite thing to do. he loves to tell lies. he doesnt even do it maliciously (for the most part) he just thinks its funny. but he loves it he loooves lying

nuvia also doesnt care about lying. he doesnt go out of his way to do it the way vilereth does, but hes a very smooth liar (lots of practice) and he thinks that sometimes its just what has to be done so who cares? hes probably even a better liar than vilereth

26. How would your PC answer the trolley problem? 

neither of them would flip the switch.

vilereth wouldnt see it as his problem. he wouldnt really care and he wouldnt see himself as involved in the situation unless he flips the switch, and hed rather not get involved if he can help it.

nuvia has a similar outlook. hed at least be tempted to flip the switch so only one person gets killed, but ultimately agrees that hes not involved unless he does. if he did hed see himself as responsible for one persons death, and he already has more than enough stress to deal with.

34. Is your PC an effective communicator? What is their communication style? 

oh god no.

vilereth is always lying and making jokes to keep people at a safe distance. hes so averse to being vulnerable that he didnt even have a non antagonistic conversation with nuvia for 5 months after they were fused. even now that they get along (theyre gay btw) trying to get him to be open and honest is like pulling teeth

nuvia is also Not Good at communication. hes less afraid of vulnerability than vilereth is, but hes so completely conflict averse its insane. hed rather bottle up everything until he dies than have a slightly uncomfortable conversation even once.

38. How did you choose your PC’s name? 

they were initially just one guy who i named vilereth from a yafnag pull. then when i made them two people i did another yafnag pull and got nuvia

[abigail-nicole]

tgcf live read, part 5

in which the author moves her live-tweet of Heaven Official's Blessing, Tian Guan Ci Fu, all-around perfect novel and joy to everyone who reads it, from twitter (beta, qi rong, ruined by cryptobros and billionaires) to tumblr (alpha, hua cheng, shitposting for 10+ years and chaotic neutral). please buy officially licensed Heaven Official's Blessing translations from Seven Seas, enjoy the beautiful official donghua while we can get any smidge of gay representation out of mainland China, and enjoy!

initially live-tweeted 3/29/2020:

oh my god there’s a pregnancy episode. You know I’ve never counseled any of my patients on the grudge that could be left by an aborted fetus

Xie Lian faking pregnancy Im here for this

Oh!!!!! This is great!!!!!

Xie Lian has a ghost baby who’s waiting for him to transition & get pregnant CLEARLY THE ONLY EXPLANATION

I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

I cannot wait to see the art for this??? It’s gonna be Exquisite

UNEXPECTED!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH SCREAMING SO LOUD I STARTLED THE CAT

Wasnt chapter 95 of mdzs ALSO A KISS CHAPTER

*incoherent noises* jgk fed gjbcgjkjfdhioollllojhghsadfsdff

(archivist note: my favorite fan cosplay photo art of this moment)

Oh my god xie lian REACTS SO POORLY WHAT A DUMBASS

The ghosts offering to help Hua Cheng rape someone is NOT funny but it made me laugh out loud

well now this is just

I’m gonna start counseling my pts on the spiritual strength of their fetuses. The strongest is clearly that lady who got shot in the uterus at 14 wks and made it to 28 weeks

Obstetric cultivation is my jam y’all

THEY'RE JUST HANGING OUT TOGETHER! BORROWING CLOTHES FROM EACH OTHER!! SOFT BOYFRIENDS!!!

Hua Cheng: i can cook for you

Xie Lian: no, let’s go out to eat

Hua Cheng: ......... you asked for this

oh to be Hua Cheng, smiling, watching your boyfriend eat

Xie “I JUST TELL THEM I’M IMPOTENT TO GET WOMEN TO LEAVE ME ALONE IM REALLY JUST GAY” Lian

Hua Cheng here like (smirking emoji x3)

Oh my god boyfriend calligraphy lessons SOFT...!!! SOFT!!!

I vehemently disagree with this “this father has to be included in the ghost fetus rights” case but that’s my own business

everyone: why the FUCK do you have this sword oh my god

The last time we saw e’ming it was shaking in sadness that it had hurt Xie Lian and I’ve cried in my heart every second from then until now

MY TWO FAVORITE WEAPONS ARE FIGHTING????? NO THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!! RUOYE & EMING OTP

YES PET THE SWORD ITS A GOOD SWORD GOOD SWORD

every time they hang out im just like......yes....pure oxygen, clean water, pollution disappearing from this earth....

Yes e’ming ruoye weapon pet otp

Oh my god this Which Weapon Pet Will Help More With Cooking is Exactly what my soul needs in these trying times.... I’m so blessed.....

Xie Lian - Wei Wuxian - being terrible at cooking

this is COMEDY GOLD

Hua Cheng: *doing dishes*

Shi Qingxuan: WHAT THE FUCK

Qi Rong: IM A FIERCE GHOST TOOOOOOOOO

Xie Lian: *hiding*

This is the best dinner party

This is the best fucking dinner party scene in any book I have ever read

Honestly the book could end right here. This scene is the Blessing in the title Heaven Official's Blessing

Shi Qingxuan is gonna go back & tell everyone they ate dinner with Hua Cheng and No One is gonna believe it

Poor Shi Qingxuan Lolololol

Awwwww theyre finally exchanging phone numbers!!!! also lol @ xie lian’s little joke here

can’t wait for the scene where they start flirting via communications array & shi qingxuan is staring back and forth at them & shouting at ming yi WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE RIGHT HERE WHAT ARE THEY DOING GET A GODDAMN ROOM

ugh I’m so happy to stop on this note & look forward to reading tomorrow & not having to pick up in the middle of Tragedy Book 2 (& apoarently also Tragedy Book 4). In conclusion Hualian is the Real Official Blessing We Made Along The Way

OMG I SAID THIS SCENE WOULD HAPPEN also i cant wait to find out hua cheng’s password (narrator voice: she would be disappointed)

Shi Qingxuan: i made them strip but oh god he just admitted he likes xie lian NOW its weird

Hahaha just wait till this is a sex thing (smirk emoji)

I also get bored and play dress up in the middle of hostage recovery

to be continued in part 6!