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#i need to scream about them so badly
lethxia · 8 months
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erasermic. post graduation and that guy hizashi never really was together with, smoking on sidewalks
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that post abt going insane over platonic relationships just made me think about ghostkicks (as if I'm not doing that constantly already) but . specifically new haven wards flavored. just. in the aftermath of something like the atlas battle the fighting is over everything is quiet and still for just a second and then there's just gravel crunching footsteps as the two of them are drawn together like magnets to make sure they're safe and alive and okay and they just kind of collapse on the street in the middle of all kinds of rubble desperately hugging each other like if they let go the other person will disappear
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fatal-blow · 4 months
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trying to be normal and not randomly message everyone in the notes of the subcapularis post with Bonus Facts
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vogelmeister · 5 months
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anyways i am feeling kinda brave today so im gonna share a potentially unpopular taylor swift hot take. when i was talking to my friend yesterday about ttpd i realised that i kinda have a similar problem with the anthology as i do with evermore.
like don't get me wrong, both have absolute gems (willow, tolerate it, long story short, gold rush and NBNC from evermore are great and i love the albatross, so high school, the prophecy black dog, manuscript etc) but i think both collections (bc anthology is not an album) suffer because they came out connected to a much superior more cohesive work, and both almost feel like rejects from the body of work that proceeded it.
#actually like i said to my beloved mutual “thanK you aIMee” kinda feels like she woke up one day and went “fuck you kim actually”#which i can kinda relate to in a way bc the amount of times i randomly go “fuck you”#but my mutual said if there were more songs about being screwed over by people that could be a storyline. but theres not. its just there#like its a great song but also i kinda went “we are covering this ground again”#if there were new developments in the relationship i could kinda understand it#like how she wrote innocent and then backtracked that with rep bc things happened#but idk the anthology just feels like scraps she deemed good enough for release but in my opinion needed editing#the stupid ass 1830s lyric highlights this bc i get what shes trying to say but she worded it so badly#that i kinda see why its being clowned on#also imgonnagetyouback... yehahahahah liv did it better. now it feels like a done concept. im shocked she included it#she knew it was coming come on#anyways the anthology while good kinda felt unfinished#she should have given it a few more months and polished it#bc holy hell at least folkmore felt polished#even though evermore is cohesively weaker#my friend who is a folkmore swiftie kinda also feels like this fyi so dont come at me screaming “burn 1989 rep midnights stan!”#burn me idc#and while im at it both are in my bottom three only right above debut#tldr: both collections are tied to another work thats just so much better and cohesive#this is just me saying i cant get into anthology hahaha#and i felt weird bc everyone liked it but when my friend a literal folklore girl said “no im not feeling it” i felt better#bc so many people were saying it was better and those swifties were going 'all of us' and i kinda went... no i prefer standard#i love taylor sm and i love og ttpd its currently no 5 but the anthology has issues and one of them is similar to why i rank evermore lowl#i just went off on a tangent about the issues with the anthology and its songwriting and lack of narrative#i will say so i win you all over i loved the evermore set at eras i thought it was so beautifully done#taylor swift#ttpd: anthology#evermore
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monty-glasses-roxy · 6 months
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I have two thoughts that are bouncing around in my head right now
1. The problem with me inventing horsies is that I want them all to have feathers but that's fucking boring but I the feathers are neat but it's boring but-
2. Oh my god. Oh my god. There is not a single fundamental fact Roxy has believed that has been right. Not a single fucking thing. Her life is a god damn lie. Tries to clear up one identity problem and ends up with another two. She feels like this is the identity crisis hydra. Is there a way to win here? Is there anything else that's been a lie this whole time? Is she even still Roxy anymore? She's going through some things...
But at least her horsie has feathers I guess
#lmao her horsie does have feathers a lot of them do#it fits her horsie very well though#roxy finding this horsie and fucking screaming at her for answers she's going through it so bad#fucking 'roxy... im sorry im so so sorry-' like fucking 'sorry? you're sorry?! i dont know who i am anymore and you're SORRY?!'#MY GUYS SHE'S STRUGGLIN#everyone scrambling to tell her the truth before she finds out and freddy trying to buy time by asking cassie to keep her busy...#and THAT'S how she fucking finds out cause the pair of them found the truth themselves#when they wouldn't have if they weren't all trying to buy time#like!!! yike!!! zoinks even!!! what a fucking situation!!!#the only ones exempt are the minis and dj even chica who was built AFTER all of this fucking knows#hell on earth for roxy man... i don't even know how to resolve this yet but god damn#she's so upset and so angry and so confused and she keeps thinking things will get better the more she knows#but now she feels fucking ROBBED and more confused than ever#she needs a hug okay??? so badly#she finds the horsies and they're just as confused btw. so is barney the duck... and the minis...#horsies make her smile though. they're just so fucking weird and she feels like the whole herd has collectively decided to dote on her#and be goofy little shits for her. she's struggling to learn their names and literally anything but#she made a joke to poppet the mini about teaching them to roll over and freddy's appeared out of nowhere to roll over for her like :D#i made base ideas for freddy and monty's horsies last night btw#of the two i like freddy's the most for one specific thing he does that makes me laugh lmao#he's like a forklift :)
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nellectronic · 1 year
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i don’t want to do this i don’t want to do this i don’t w
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2022 honestly had such amazing and interesting horror movies imo, I can't wait for next year
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i was feeling surprisingly normal about Nona (the book) but just now I re-read the passages about love and leaving and I don't know how to be normal about it anymore. You really can't expect me to read both "Life is too short and love is too long" and "what's like except a love that hasn't been invited indoors?"
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ohhhhh god we’ve got to another ‘don’t forget we’re in a war’ episode of MASH
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1980ssunflower · 1 year
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I miss them both so much,,,,
#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980#i keep thinking and thinking of them#they feel so close to me#almost as if i could run into their arms and have them hold me close rn if i wanted#my world feels like its making less and less sense and tbh i feel really lost and sad#and i just keep thinking about how badly i want to be home w them both#i want to run up to my min-gi and squeeze him tight and squish his face in my hands and pepper his face in kisses#and of course plant a kiss on his nose 💙#and i want to crash into ryan and for us to fall on the ground laughing as he snuggles into me and starts to kiss me and tickles me#and im screaming for him to stop but he doesnt fucking care and keeps going hgfdjks#i want us to go out for dinner together at a nice diner and walk around late at night down the empty streets#singing together and chatting abt whatever#i just need moments like that w them#i want this personal intimacy w them both were the world is quiet and we're all that exists to eachother#all that exists is us. right now. us and our love. and theres nothing to interrupt that#i want to breathe them in i want to take in their everything i want to be a part of them as if we were one person almost i just need them#i want to study their faces and take in how perfect they are... and feel my love for them overwhelm my heart and body and mind#as i sweetly plant kisses over every inch of their bodies to worship them to show them how loved they are#i dont want them to ever doubt it. id scream it to the world. id trade my own life for theirs in a heartbeat#theyre my world. and id do anything to protect and forever cherish my world
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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Guess who fucked up her knee again??? And AT WORK no less
#oh god i hate this. everything about this. like i am crying and screaming and throwing up#GOD girl. honestly i think the worst part was it was almost the end of my shift. it was ~4:05 and i was sipping my water as i do#and i was about to go back to the counter and get back at it and serve the customers that were there. but i must have.. slipped? or twisted#something wrong??? i don’t know. all i know is my knee popped straight out of its socket and i SCREAMED and fell to the fucking ground#my coworker (we’ll call the sheriff) tried to grab me and failed. i just sat there with my head in my hands thinking PLEASE tell me this#didn’t fucking happen. it did though. VERY publicly#i don’t know who summoned them but the retail manager and my ultimate boss wheeled me out 🫠 and the marketing guy drove me to the hospital 🫠#which didn’t have an x-ray because shitty small town hospital 🫠🫠🫠 but we managed to rendezous with my stepdad there#at which point i was handed over to him. at which point i decided ‘fuck the hospital’ because literally they did NOTHING the first time i#dislocated my knee. they didn’t even x-ray it or prescribe me anything!!!! they just hurt me more; told me i’d overextended a ligament#and sent me home to convalesce. so i was like.. i mean i don’t feel like doing that again#i can tell my kneecap is back in the socket because girl i made it upstairs. like. yes it hurts like hell but i don’t think anything#is broken. i DO need to find out why this shit keeps happening to me and what i can do to stop it; but that’s not an a&e situation#that’s a gp or a physio or a fucking knee expert or something#so basically i’m going to stay in my bed with my brace and an ice pack and some entertainment and see what happens to me#i already know this is bad. like. as bad as the first time probably#the second and third times i was able to walk unassisted afterwards. i can’t walk unassisted. so.#basically tomorrow i’m going to call my boss and be like ‘i don’t think i can come in for the rest of the week on account of my knee#is approximately the size of texas and i have officially sprained it badly. but i’ll update you’#i hope i’m wrong. i hope i wake up tomorrow to just like a mild ache and feel STUPID#girl i can’t believe i’m saying this but i want to go to work. i want to work bank holiday sunday PLEEEEEAAAAAASE#i don’t want to limp around my house and cry. recuperating from an injury is the fucking worst WHY must i do it again#so. if you need me i’m going to be eating whatever the hell my mom has prepared (worst part of this is i can’t even cook for myself)#and reading… something. or i might play stardew honestly. or write!! i’ve been wanting to write for so long my god#so that’s my life currently 🙃🙃🙃#personal
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piplupod · 2 years
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weird experience of feeling very strongly that "i don't want these pants, I have no interest in them, they're expensive, and theres no reason for me to buy them" and then an EXTREMELY strong directly conflicting feeling of "no but i DO want them, i want them extremely badly, holy shit please can i just buy them, i have the money for it"
(aka me and another headmate arguing over whether we should buy these pants bc i literally have zero interest in them and I think they're kind of ugly fdsjkl but he wants them so fucking bad)
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nebulainatree · 2 years
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My superpower is that I get so obsessed with something that I cannot stop thinking about it long enough to sleep. It's also not a superpower and actually is a curse
#This rp server I spectate in has irreversibly changed my brain. And my sleep schedule. I need mental help#Nebbie posts#Nebbie text posting#Send fucking post#it is four thirty am here and I have to bike to school tomorrow. I'm gonna be sick#Wanna hear my ideas? My fucking Ideas? I've got Ideas wanna fucking hear?#First my oc VK who I've talked about once and never made a ref sheet for has a full name now. She's not just initials anymore#Did you know? In a post apocalyptic setting VK would grab a fucking musical instrument and learn to play it and start singing to cope#Little buddy is there for moral support and is also the only other thing that keeps her going aside from badly singing Turquoise October#One and Disc are. Actively becoming the worst power couple in the world. Awful awful people who would kill you for sport#At least One has trans swag though. He's still obsessed with makeup and fashion and turf wars even when the world ends#No ideas for the inkling guy who's unnamed or any other minor splat ocs I've got. Woo#Driving me actively insane. This rp server is driving me crazy insane in a positive way. If only I had the guts to actually tell anyone#I need to scream somewhere about it. Praying no one from that server looks at my blog ever. Or just specifically this post#I told them I read every single rp message in the server (5k+) and like. That I really liked it but#How do you tell someone that something they do has like. Chemically changed you to an extreme extent. How can I ever say that#They're like STRANGERS I've said like FIVE words to them. It's like I walked in on a FAMOUS person#The parasocial is. I want to actually be friends with these people they're so cool but I've put myself into a parasocial thing#They've already got an established friend group and like. I've never been able to join an established friend group#I did it ONCE in middle school by fucking LUCK and it's never happened again. Spect 7 was my magnum opus#I tried to join a friend group one time in the Hollow Knight community and then it just crashed and burned so.#I guess I've just got a doomsday sort of view of interacting with people now. I've never had it work out before#God damn. Earlier I was thinking that past 3am is my poor decision making time and it's so true. Fuck. God damn#Whatever. I need a 3am emotional rambling tag.#It's 4am but whatever#To clarify ig. You can reblog this because the actual post is funny (to midnight me at least) just pretend these tags don't exist lol
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pears-trinkets · 6 months
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#i just wanna have artist friends again to talk about art and hype each other up o(-(#share techniques and fandoms and have ocs together#i feel like i cant do art or feelings on my own anymore i need someone to feel it with me#but also depending on people like that is unfair so i stopped doing it and my heart was shattered into a million pieces#i had so many issues drawing the past 4 years and i only have one friend and they dont draw and are aq#are awkward with words but when i send them a photo of me trying to draw they literally didnt say anything and that was just :')#ive been struggling so much because of twitter and everyone i knew seeing my breakdown 4 years ago and knowing how many bridges i burned#and how difficult it is for me to draw at all and then share my art online and my friend told me its okay just share it with me#and when they dont say anything in me screams and feels so rejected i want to never talk to anyone ever again#im literally a shell of a human struggling with everything im a trauma response on two legs#and i wanna channel that into my two oc boys both being traumatized and leaning on each other but that also makes me feel so vulnerable#i feel like my existence is so pointless and just a burden on everyone who ever crossed paths with me#i imagine everyone i ever knew just talking badly about me how obnoxious i am and how selfish and ignorant and hurtful#and how happy they are about my downfall#im on mental sick leave and have finally a bit of time to catch my breath and im drawing again and feel better but i need to return to work#i cant do this#im so privileged and i still feel so bad and its so hard#i feel like every privilege i have will be followed by the most gruesome horrible thing because i dont deserve it and im unworthy of it#i dont think ill ever be able to build normal human relationships ever again ill shrivel up alone and die without anyone caring#while my mom is telling me im doing it on purpose and because i reject everyone#why is existing to painful and why am i doing worse worse doing it
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pointthewaysys · 8 months
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That feeling when your own body becomes triggering to look at.
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miallurk · 8 months
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Damn. One thing going wrong and I'm going full mental breakdown huh.
#probably because of bottling my feelings up#honestly at this point i'm considering giving up but some people were really sweet to me and that's really been helping#and that one anon in my other blog who almost got me to cry just because they said “i love your writing”#shit i am legit tearing up#people are so nice sometimes i just. fucking hell i love when people are caring but i have feelings that are kept in a bottle from before#i was even like. in 3rd grade.#i want to keep reaching out i do#but i feel so insignificant when i do some stupid shit and. people want to talk to me. they care. and they listen.#i feel so. bad for taking up their time. surely they have something better to do than waste their time on me im a failure. i cant do anythi#g. but. they do. and that fucks me up so badly. those people do not know how much i appreciate even a brief chat.#i am starving for humanity and its connections.#i am also struggling#and living in times of war is so fucking hard when no one cares about you. it was so hard to come to terms with that i'm a war child.#a child of war. fathered by a soldier who had seen horrors of it beforehand. and who has not spoken of them despite screaming in the dead#of night. i am. having a full on breakdown huh. apparently. it's just. fucking insane. i really need to talk to someone about this. and hav#a ten hour nap preferably.#looks at crow bubbles miss detective log and hannah and my old old mutuals. i love you all still no matter how brief or insignificant our#interactions were. i love you. you mean the world to me. you made me who i am like an amateur makes a silly clay figure never meant for muc#it is so hard to go on with old memories as bugs in my brain#this.. started as a drawing program error vent and became me pouring my feelings here. same as always ig.#i love you humanity i love you reaching out i love you desire to care and ve cared about i love you yearning i love you helping without a#need to ask i love you human emotions i love you people#it feels like i'm not one myself honestly. humans are so.. so horrifyingly endearing to me i am suffocating with unspoken love#fucking my love is mine all mine and poison and ghosting and oleander fuck you songs you make me emotional too. humans are so humans.
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