#i need to sit her down tomorrow and rewatch that scene with her again

[airenyah]

"dagegenspielen" is such a beautiful term, bless my fave monologue teacher for introducing me to it

[aviawrites]

when we were teenagers (challengers)

pairings/relationships: tashi duncan x sister!reader, patrick zweig x fem!reader, art donaldson x fem!reader

summary: Tashi Duncan’s younger sister, Ava Duncan, never gets a chance to be seen past her sister’s shadow. When Ava gets injured and Tashi starts gaining fame, the two become more and more at odds with each other. Tashi juggles Art and Patrick while Ava struggles to keep up. When over a decade passes and a peace isn’t reached, either the Donaldsons or Zweigs, either Tashi or Ava, has to come out on top. (7.2k)

a/n: you know the movie was good when you have to rewatch so you have all the info for the fic🥴 with that being said, the dates and stuff may be a little off but i did my best with what wikipedia had to offer. regardless, im a patrick zweig stan 4L. anyway, as always, ur interaction is greatly appreciated, ily<3

warnings: description of injury, allusions to sex/almost a smut scene, swearing

in this story, yn is: Ava Duncan

March 16, 2006 //📍home, 9:35pm

The goofy grin on the brunette’s face and the blond’s childish giggle replays over and over in your head. Your mother’s muffled snores mix with Art’s laughs as a smile grows on your face, your eyes closed. 

You’ve found yourself in this position too many times, imagining what could’ve been if the cute guys were eyeing you rather than your sister. But you’ve experienced it enough times to not even be hurt by it anymore. No guys approach you at volleyball events, especially not hot ones. So if anything, you find some comfort in lying upside down on the corduroy couch making up scenarios in your head. 

The click of the front door forces your eyes open, sitting upright and perking up like a dog as your sister tip toes through the door.  

“So…” You rest your chin on your fist, “Which one was it?”

“Shh,” Tashi smiles, pointing to your mom’s closed door. “Which one was what?”

“Come on,” You continue as she stands in front of you, “Which one did you…Y’know.”

“Oh my- Neither of them, Ava.”

“What!?”

“Shh!”

You lower your tone, “Seriously? You were alone with them both and didn’t make a move?”

“It wasn’t like that.” She laughs, “They’re like…I dunno, they’re weird.”

You scrunch your face up, “What, are they gay?”

She pauses, cocking her head.

“They’re actually gay?”

“No, no they’re not.” She giggles, “I just didn’t do anything with them. I mean we kissed but that’s it.” 

“Did you kiss the blond?” You interrogate, “I really like the blond…”

“His name is Art and I kissed them both.” She smirks.

You roll your eyes, “Whatever.”

Tashi laughs at you, plopping next to you on the couch and resting her legs across yours.

“They did ask for my number again.”

“What’d you tell them?” You stroke her leg.

“I said whoever wins the match tomorrow gets it.”

“God, I wish.” You sigh, throwing your head back. “I’d kill to see Art just one more time…”

———

May 15th, 2006 //📍home, 6:00pm

You wince as your mom tightens the brace, covering your face in frustration.

“It’s okay, baby.” She kisses your head, “You tell me if you need anything, okay?”

You nod as she presses one more kiss onto your hair before walking out, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

Almost every athlete you know has been injured before, half of the girls on your team are covered in braces and tape all season. A torn ACL seems more like a right of passage than a serious and life changing injury. But when you heard the pop and felt the ligament rip, it was almost immediate; The realization that you very well may never play again. You’re not sure if yours was worse than others or if you’re just weaker, but the trauma of the blistering pain has turned you away from getting back on the court for the last month. 

You already can tell who’s on the other side of the door from the lack of a knock. You internally sigh, wanting to be left alone, as Tashi sits at the foot of your bed. 

“Hey, I was thinking we could go to the courts today. I could practice with you.” 

“Tashi…”

“I know you haven’t been wanting to go but since you just hit a month I was thinking, you know, maybe you’d want to start working again.”

You shake your head, “Tashi, I don’t think I’m ready.”

“When will you be?” She asks, her voice stern.

You stare at her, “I don’t know, Tashi. Why?”

“I’m just saying Ava, it’s not good to stop for this long. Some people never get back out there and you have to at least try.”

“I am trying.” You raise your voice, “My insides tore apart. Sorry if I’m not eager to put pressure on myself again.”

“There’s no pressure I’m just asking you to get up and at least walk on a court again.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Why the fuck not?” 

“Because I’m fucking scared, Tashi!” You shout, tears falling from your eyes. “I’m fucking scared of it happening again! I am not ready!”

She stares at you, a look that you can only describe as disgust on her face.

“…You don’t even want to drive out there just to see-“

“Get out.” You cover your eyes, a headache creeping up on you.

“Ava, I’m not going to let you waste away in here-“

“Get out of my room or I’m calling mom.” You stare back at her, “Go.” 

She stands, giving you one last look of disapproval before leaving, slighting slamming your door behind her.

———

September 18th, 2006 //📍Stanford Tennis Courts, 5:00pm

“Passing…Down the line…Cross…”

Tashi’s grunts echo throughout the court as you throw shots at her, a pile of green tennis balls forming behind you. It took a few weeks but she got you back on the court, just not the volleyball courts. You’ve watched Tashi’s practices long enough to know the game, so when you reluctantly offered to help her train, she jumped at the opportunity.

You zone out, robotically tossing the balls as Tashi dashes across the court. You silently hope for a specific someone show up. Patrick Zweig had your sister in his phone and occasionally in his bed, but Art Donaldson was a free man. The only Duncan in his phone was Ava, an achievement that you pride yourself on even weeks later. 

Sure, the two of you aren’t a thing, not the way Tashi and Patrick are. But you’re happy to be anything with Art, so the talking stage that you seem to be stuck in doesn’t bother you at all. You can only pray that it’ll blossom into something. Something meaning you being Ava Donaldson in the near future.

As if you summoned him, a very familiar blond boy opens the wire door, locking eyes with you. Your heart skips a beat when he waves at you, your hand immediately dropping the ball and waving back.

Your sister turns around to see Art, a smile growing on her face as she walks over to him. She wraps her arms around him, pulling him in for a hug as you watch. They barely pull away before Tashi begins chatting, her face too close to his for your liking. 

Across the court, they’re too far for you to hear their conversation. But judging from Art’s hand draped over her waist and her arm resting on his shoulder, you see enough to be angry. You can only look down, waiting for the conversation, along with your humiliation, to end. 

After an abundance of giggles, Art turns and walks away, giving you another wave. 

“I’ll see you.” He smiles.

You purse your lips, terribly embarrassed as you nod, “Yeah. Good seeing you, Art.”

The door shuts and with it, your smile drops. Tashi gets back into position like nothing happened, waiting with her racquet. Playing along, you throw her the ball. Only, you don’t call the drill. You throw with a little more force and much more unpredictability as the anger in you rises. 

“Ava…” Tashi calls, frantically chasing the ball. 

It’s only when the ball flies past her head, barely missing her, that she stops.

“Ava, what the fuck!?”

She walks toward you, meeting you at the net.

She shrugs, “What’s up, what’s going on?”

“Are you serious?”

She only looks at you, confused.

“Tashi, come on. You were literally all over him.”

“Wh- Art?” She deciphers, “Oh, Ava my bad I didn’t mean- I really didn’t mean to.”

“Yeah, sure you didn’t.”

“Seriously, I didn’t. He’s my friend I was just saying hey.”

“Saying hey with your arms around each other? That’s bullshit, just say you still like him.” You look down, mumbling. “It’s fine, it’s just annoying that you go after every guy I like knowing they’ll choose you.”

“Hey…” Tashi softens her tone, stepping over the net and nearing you. “Ava.”

“What?” You look at the ground.

“I didn’t mean it like that…” She insists, “I’m just stressed with school and stuff, he’s the only one who gets it.”

“Right.” You roll your eyes, not in the mood for ‘I’m stressed,’ to be the excuse for going after your guy. “It’s not like I go to school too or anything.”

“No, I know you do. It’s just…Stanford’s different, you know?”

“Whatever.”

“Ava,” She lifts your chin to look at her, “I’m sorry, okay?”

The two of you ogle at each other as she waits for an answer. She always does this, almost forces you into accepting her apology which you do not.

“We good?” She asks.

“…Yeah, sure.” You shrug, pulling away from her, “It’s whatever.”

Tashi just looks at you once more, seemingly satisfied as she steps back over the net. She gets back into position as you pick up another ball, a look still on your face.

“Down the line.”

———

December 21st, 2006 //📍Stanford Dining Hall, 12:00pm

“How many?” The employee asks.

“Umm, can I have three?” You lean on the counter, “Or four, actually.”

She reaches under the counter before handing you four mayo packets.

“Thanks.”

You start the walk back toward the table, Patrick having picked the one in the far back. He clearly hasn’t returned from the bathroom as you see Art and Tashi still sitting alone. As you near them, you catch a glimpse of their conversation.

“Don’t you think you deserve it?” Art asks, his eyes so focused on your sister that he doesn’t see you walking up. “I mean, who wouldn’t be in love with you?”

Tashi doesn’t respond, only angrily stands and walks away, nearly knocking you over. She passes you, smoke practically coming out of her ears. You watch her go before sitting where she was, handing Art the packets.

“Thanks.” He smiles, “Patrick still in there?”

“I guess so.” You laugh, insecurity lacing your voice as you simultaneously try to decode the conversation they were having.

“I’m so not surprised.” He takes the bun off of his burger and tears open the white packet with his teeth.

You watch him, hesitant to speak. Though, your words spill out before you can stop them.

“Do you ever wish Patrick let you win the match?” You ask.

Art looks up at you, mid squeeze. He cracks an unsure smile.

“What kind of question is that?” He laughs.

“I don’t know,” You do the same, tragically self conscious. “Maybe you wonder what it’d be like to date my sister or something. I don’t know, it’s stupid.” You look down, fiddling with your fingers.

Art pauses, putting his burger down and placing his hands on yours.

“Hey,” He grabs your attention, “I’m here with you today. 

You smile, “No, I know. It’s just…She’s like better than me in every way so I wouldn’t blame you.” You chuckle.

“What? I don’t think so, I think you’re great.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t get in to Stanford. Nor do I win all of the tennis tournament or-“

“Ava,” Art stops you, shaking your head. “You’re just as good as Tashi.”

Your eyes tread on each other as you try your hardest to believe him. But you do realize that this is the exact same way he looked at Tashi on the courts. 

The two of you are snapped out of it as Patrick returns, taking his seat next to Art.

“Sorry, they had like no toilet paper.”

“Oh good, thanks for letting us all know you took a shit, bud.” 

“Whatever. Ava doesn’t give a shit, right?”

“No,” You laugh, “You’re all good, Pat.”

———

📍Tashi’s dorm, 2:00pm

“So if he’s seeing other girls I won’t even fucking know now.” Tashi vents, stretching for her match.

You scroll on your phone, sitting at her desk. “It sounds like he was just trying to be nice, Tash. He was trying to help you out-“

“No, he’s not nice. Nothing about them is nice, Ava. They’re fucking weirdos, both of them. Art just hides behind this persona that he’s so caring and team Duncan when really he wants the same thing from me as Patrick.”

‘He wants the same thing from me.’

You sigh, tired of hearing the same things and watching her run back to them minutes later.

“Then stop complaining and fucking leave him already.” 

Tashi stops in her lunge, “What?”

“You keep complaining about them.” You grunt, “If you really didn’t want the attention you’d just drop them both.”

“If I didn’t want the attention?”

“Yes.” 

“The fuck does that mean?”

“Exactly what I said.” You say, irritated.

“Ava…” She stands up, looking down at you. You continue scrolling until your phone is snatched from you. “Hey.”

“What the-“

“Do you have something to say to me?”

“Give me my phone back.” You stand up, reaching for it.

“No, say what you mean.”

“Really?” You grab for your phone once more but she pulls it away from you like a child, “Fuck - Okay, Tashi, all you talk about is how hard your life is. How hard training is for a tournament that you know you're going to win. How hard it is dating a famous and touring athlete. How hard it is being friends with the nicest guy who only wants to help you. How fucking hard it is to have two guys fighting over you. How hard it is to go to an ivy league. How hard it is to live the fucking dream. How about you actually do something about it instead of rubbing it in our faces that you're above us and can play with two guys at once because you're so fucking amazing?"

The two of you stand nose to nose, a stance Tashi used to always initiate in order to intimidate you.

“How long have you felt this way?” She asks, her breath shaking.

“Ever since you became the Tashi Duncan and I was left in the dust. Now give me my phone.”

“Are you fucking serious, Ava? You think I asked for this?”

“Asked for what? A great life where you succeed in fucking everything? No, Tashi, you didn't have to ask for it. We worked so fucking hard and only you survived it. I succumbed to my fate, I quit my dream, I went to a shitty college, had shitty friends, watched shitty games, and watched the boys I liked fight for my sister. But no; Please, continue bitching about your hard situation." 

You snatch your phone from her hands, walking toward the door. "Good luck at your fucking match."

———

2:45pm

You barely look up as you exit the library, occupied with connecting your earbuds to your phone. It’s only when you see a familiar black head of hair sitting in the common area that you stop. 

“Patrick?”

He looks back, taking his feet off of the Stanford branded coffee table.

“Oh, hey Ava.” He makes space for you to sit beside him on the small loveseat. “How’s it goin’?”

“Good, um…” You put your stuff on the floor and sit next to him, “Why aren’t you at the tournament?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He smiles that same crooked smile from the night you met him.

You curl your legs up, leaving your arm on the back of the seat. “Did y’all fight too?”

Patrick leans back, looking over at you. “Yeah. Yeah, we did.” He laughs.

“What was yours about?” You pry, smiling.

“Uh,” He rubs his eye, “Just…not letting her control me. I’m my own boss kind of shit.”

“Seriously?”

“…Yeah, why?”

“That’s what our fight was about too!” You burst into giggles, “Well, not her controlling me but her controlling you. And Art, him too.”

“Shit, Art too?”

“Yeah, I mean, especially Art. You’re the only one who stands up to her bullshit.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks, “I don’t know, you seem to put up a good fight.”

“Yeah, but I’m her sister. It’s takes a brave man to break free of Tashi Duncan.”

“Oh god, did I break free?”

“You definitely broke free.” The two of you laugh.

“No but I see what you’re saying, she definitely had me whipped.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Like I remember one time,” He turns toward you, getting comfy, “The first time her and I, um…”

“Oh, Jesus.” You cover your face.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He laughs, “But the first time we did, I remember she said she’d leave me if I told anyone. And I was head over heels, so of course I didn’t want to tell, right?”

“Right.”

“But Art’s my guy, y’know? So instead of being straight up and jeopardizing Tashi’s love, we made this stupid ass signal.” He tells in between laughs, “The way that Art serves - Like, you know how he puts the ball at the neck of his racquet?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You listen intently.

“Well, if I served that way, that meant yes, we did sleep together, And if I served my way, it meant we didn’t.”

“…And?”

“Well, I put that motherfucker right in the middle.”

“Oh my-“

You and Patrick erupt into laughs, covering your mouths as the librarian eyes the two of you. Your stomach starts to ache, not being able to remember the last time you had this kind of belly laugh.

“Well, cheers to breaking free of her.” You put your fist up.

“Oh hell yeah, cheers to that.” He bumps it.

———

3:05pm

The crowd outside thins out as you and Patrick head down the back halls and toward the parking lot. In true honor of breaking free, the two of you decided to not say goodbye. Instead, you’d go home without saying a word to your sister. 

You’re a few doors down from the exit when Patrick stops in his tracks, looking into the nurses office.

“Tashi…” He walks in. 

You enter the doorway, peeking in behind him. Inside, you see Tashi sitting on the table, Art by her side.

“No, out.” Your sister points.

“I’m sorry-“

“Get out!”

“Tashi, listen to me-“

“No, get out!”

“Please-“

“Patrick, get the fuck out!” Art shouts, standing.

Patrick stays for a moment, taken aback as he looks from Tashi to Art. If he has the same vision as you, it’s clear that it’s them against him. It’s no longer Patrick and Tashi, but Art and Tashi. 

He looks back at you before obeying, walking down the hallway. 

Now alone, you come into full view, nearing your sister.

“Tash, what happened-“

“You too.”

You stop, tilting your head. “What?”

“I don’t want you here, leave.”

“Wh- Are you serious?”

“Ava, I think you should just go.” Art says lowly, wary to step in between you too.

You ignore him, “Tashi, I’m your sister.”

You get no answer, she only looks forward. You look at Art as he stands over her like some bodyguard. 

Just as Patrick did, you back away, realizing what this is. You frantically look between the two as you wait for Tashi to change her mind, to see that regardless of what fight you had you’re still sisters. Though, it’s clear that doesn’t mean anything to her, it’s been clear for a while now. 

Now, it’s only Art and Tashi.

———

10:03pm

“Coming in from Stanford; Student and highly lauded tennis player, Tashi Duncan, took a hard hit at her match against Pepperdine this afternoon. Sources say a hard fracture to the knee has Tashi in the care of medical professionals. It is unknown if she’ll ever be able to play again.” 

The blinding fluorescent lights of the cheap fast food place burn your eyes as you and Patrick look up at the TV. 

You bury your head in your hands, groaning.

“Fuck.” 

“She probably thinks she’ll never be able to play again.”

“Please, please don’t say that, Patrick. I’ll feel so guilty.”

“Ava, there’s nothing we could’ve done.”

“We could’ve at least showed up.” You rub a hand over your head.

“Hey,” He forces you to look at him, “None of this is our fault, okay? Injured or not, she still treated us like shit. Art only gets to stay by her side because he’s whipped.”

“I just…” You sigh, “I just wish I had been there.”

The two of you stand up, leaving the restaurant. Outside, a huge Adidas billboard with your sister’s face on it dominates the sky.

The two of you get into Patrick’s car, him cranking it up and turning down the radio.

“Let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay.” He nods, looking at you.

“Like…” You think, “Your tour.”

“Oh, God.”

You laugh, “When are you set to go back?”

“Uh, next week I’m pretty sure. But if I’m being honest, I don’t even want to go. I’ve been getting my ass kicked out there.”

“Patrick, Tashi would lose it if she heard you say that.”

He leans in, resting his arms on the center console as he examines your face. “Let’s not talk about Tashi…” 

“Okay,” You hold the intense eye contact that he began, “What do you want to talk about?”

His nose is almost touching yours as you unconsciously near him, eyes flickering from his eyes to his lips.

“Let’s talk about you.” He grins, rubbing your waist.

“What do you want to know?”

“Tell me what you like.” He says, lowering his lips to your neck and softly pressing.

“I, um,” You tilt, holding the back of his head as he gets sloppier, “I loved volleyball. My team was out of California but we travelled for tournaments. We ranked…fuck…we ranked second in the country-“

Patrick cuts you off, his lips ravaging yours as he runs his hands over you. You can’t stop yourself from leaning into him, crawling over to sit on his lap. Both of your hands get more and more heavy as he pulls your shirt over your head, tossing it in the backseat.

“Fuck,” You say in between kisses, “Fuck, wait.”

“What?” He looks up at you, “What, is something wrong?”

“Is this wrong to do?” You ask, out of breath. “Should we stop? What about Tashi and Art?”

“They yelled at us to leave when we tried to help.” He reminds you, “Why should we stop when they treated us like that?”

You look at him, convincing yourself that you’re considering it when all you want to feel is your mouth on his.

And you do, pushing the thoughts of Tashi and Art far from your mind.

———

February 15th, 2011 // 📍Zweig condo, 9:30am

5 years later

At one point in your life, it would take you multiple seconds to figure out how to say the dollar amount that you and your husband had in your bank account. Now, as the number almost falls short of five figures, you feel ashamed just looking at it. 

You switch tabs on the laptop, the light from the ceiling to floor window behind it hurting your eyes. Scrolling through tournament options, the distances only get further and the prize money higher. Years ago, you and Patrick wouldn’t even consider the amount, as Patrick just wanted to play tennis; And that still holds true, only you’ve been stuck in your ways for so long that he’s forgotten how to play to win. 

Nails scratch the hardwood behind you as your golden doodle, Bear, comes barreling down the hall. Right behind him is your husband, chasing the dog around the living room.

“I’m gonna getcha, I’m gonna getcha!” He says, the dog running desperately from him. 

You chuckle, “Good morning.”

You hear Patrick give Bear a smooch before walking over to you, wrapping his arms around your neck.

“Good morning, baby.” He kisses your neck, looking at the screen. “Found anything good?”

“Not really,” You groan, frustrated. “I don’t know when these matches got so fucking far.”

“It’s okay,” He strokes your head, “I’m sure there’s one we can make it to.”

You continue scrolling, the qualifier maximum getting smaller and smaller.

“What about this one?” He points.

“Atlanta? Patrick, that’s on the other side of the country.”

“I know, I know. But we can make the trip, no? I hear some of our friends may be there.”

You turn your head, furrowing your brows at him. A sly smile plasters over his face, one that makes you realize all too quickly.

“They’re going to be there?” 

He nods.

“God, why would you want to be anywhere near them?” 

“We probably won’t even see them, baby. But if they’re there we’ll have a big crowd.” 

You think on it, the thought of seeing Tashi making your stomach turn in knots.

“…And look at that winner’s reward money.” He says convincingly.

A sigh escapes you before clicking submit, Patrick’s entry automatically being sent.

“Mm,” He kisses your wedding ring finger, “Thank you, baby.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You jokingly roll your eyes, pecking him on the cheek.

——

February 24th, 2011 //📍Atlanta, 7:40pm

Nausea consumes you as Patrick’s smell fills your senses. The aroma of the city is one thing, the aroma of your husband another, but the scent of your sister’s old perfume radiates off of him like a cancer.

You watch as he sets his coat down, coming behind the couch to kiss you. 

“Did you-“ You pull your face away, not able to let him touch you, “Did you see anyone we know?”

Patrick is taken aback, looking at you with a confused smile.

“No…Why?”

His eyes bore into yours as you search for any answer than the one you’re imagining. Though, as he hands you the chinese takeout bag and takes a seat next to you, you find yourself voiding the conclusion entirely; Your mind not willing to believe the man you love would be meeting her. 

He wraps his arms around you, watching the TV. As the smell seems to corrupt every sense you have, a tear sneaks into your cheek, the possibility still piercing your gut. Even so, you wrap your arms back around him.

As of this moment, the comfort of hiding in his arms trumps the possibilities of the truth.

——

June 3rd, 2013 // 📍Zweig Condo, 3:00pm

2 Years Later

‘Hey, I know it’s been a while. But if you’re willing, I’d love to come out and see you and the baby. - A ♡’

The ‘Read’ under your message seems to taunt you the longer you stare. Your phone screen is interrupted by a call, ‘Mom,’ at the top of the screen. You answer.

A small gasp escapes you as you’re immediately met with the smallest human you’ve ever seen. You’d know she was Tashi’s in a sea of babies. You wave your husband over, eyes staying on the baby.

“Oh my goodness.” You whisper, “Hi, baby.”

Her eyes stay closed, her hands in small fists.

“Oh, Ava, she’s so beautiful.” Your mom lowly says down the phone.

“Is…” You wipe away a stray tear, “Is Tashi okay?”

The camera flips from the baby to your mother.

“You know you could always ask her yourself, honey.”

“No, I know. But- Just tell them we said congratulations. She’s precious.”

Your mom lets out a sigh as she looks from you to behind the camera.

“Mom, who is that?” You hear your sister’s voice in the background. 

Your hands turn clammy, your heart beating faster and faster as she begins to turn the phone to Tashi.

“Um, Mom we gotta go, we’re breaking up. I love you-“

“Wait, Ava-“

“Love you, mom.” You spit out, hanging up and turning your phone face down.

You stare out for a minute, shocked at your body’s response to your sister’s voice. Sobs escape your mouth before you can stop them. You shove your face in your hands.

“Oh, baby.” Patrick holds you, rubbing your back.

“It’s been too long.” You cry, “She fucking hates me.”

“You don’t know that.” He reassures you, “She may come around. You did good.”

———

May 1st, 2019 // 📍New Rochelle, 10:00am

6 Years later

Making it to New York from home took up the rest of Patrick’s savings. The house that you downsized to is completely funded by you and your remote sales salary. Patrick continues to fight a losing battle with tennis, barely able to pay for food for himself every week. Straining your marriage was the last consequence of his money struggles. Though, it has the biggest impact on your day to day. Nonetheless, you remain by his side. In all honesty, you’re not completely sure how to continue anywhere else. 

“I’m going to see Art today.” Patrick tells you, downing a handful of trail mix.

“Art?” You ask, holding Bear’s paws on your

thighs, “Why would you do that? It’s been years.”

“I think it’s been long enough, we’re already here.” He shrugs, “I think it might be good for me.”

You focus on Bear, still not seeing a clear reason as to why he’d want to speak to Art after a decade.

“Maybe you should go see Tashi.”

Your eyes snap to him, her name barely being spoken in your house for the last six years.

“…And do what?”

He shrugs, “Might be good for you…”

…

1:00pm

Your stomach seems to twist in a thousand ways as you continuously fix your hair and outfit on the way into the far too fancy hotel. As you pass the lobby, you almost turn around and throw up. But as your sister heads for the elevator, you know this is your one chance to speak to her.

Your shoes thump against the marble floor as you jog after her.

“T- Tashi!” You whisper shout, reaching her just in time.

She turns around. Taking one look at you, she looks to your left and right, utterly confused.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, tone laced with disgust.

It’s been so long. She looks so different, her voice has such a maturity to it. But that dominating energy that she brings everywhere hasn’t changed a bit.

“Well I…” You fumble, all of your practice going out the window. “ I heard you were here, I wanted to say hello.”

“Say hello?” She looks you up and down, turning her full attention to you as she steps forward. “Honestly, I don’t want your fucking hello, Ava. Really, I don’t.”

You shake your head, “Tashi-“

"I can't believe you have the balls to be here. After what you fucking did to me."

"What I-“ You compose yourself, remembering exactly how arguments with your sister always go. “Tashi, what the fuck did I do to you?"

"Are you serious?" She asks, "You're joking, yes?"

"No, I'm really not."

"You left me for 13 years by my fucking self." She raises her voice, "I had a wedding, I had a baby, and where were you? My sister was too stuck on a grudge to ever come back into my life, you're a waste of my fucking time." She begins to walk away.

“Hey.” You follow her, grabbing her arm and spinning her back around.

“Get off.”

"Not one of those events was I invited to, Tash. Not one. If you wanted me back, if you gave a shit, you would've acted like it. But you're not going to sit here and act like I was in the wrong and I should've reached out to you. Hell, I did fucking reach out to you.”

“In the wrong?” She snatches her arm from you. “Ava, are you clinically fucking stupid? You're hung up on a situation from 13 years ago-"

"No, but it's not from 13 years ago, Tashi.” You cut her off, getting in her face. “Because you're doing the same thing right now that you did when you were 18. You're sitting here blaming the world for your life decisions. You're blaming me for being angry that you were and are a narcissist who wants someone else to be the athlete that you never were. Every time I thought of coming back l'd imagine what my sister would say and I couldn't do it. But guess what Tashi, now I see through you. I fucking see it, Patrick sees it, and when Art finally opens his eyes you'll finally see yourself for what you are."

She stares at you, a chuckle escaping her. "Ava, this is pathetic. Genuinely. Because at the end of the day, it's not my fucking fault that you gave up. Now l'm in a position where I don't have to be here. I have a life, a pretty fucking good one, outside of this. Outside of you. This Final, it's practice. It's fucking child's play for us, whereas for the Zweigs...This is it for you. Your last fucking loss.”

“Yeah. Okay Tash.” You roll your eyes, "Keep throwing insults at me to distract from the fact that you're a shitty person."

"I'm a shitty pers- You fucking abandoned your family for 13 fucking years!"

"Because my sister is an insufferable egomaniac who can't accept the fact that her husband doesn't want to do this shit anymore and her tennis life is over!” You shout back, your voices echoing throughout the hotel. “It's fucking over Tashi, give it up. That's why I left you, because you're fucking dreadful! You're dreadful and everyone knows it."

Tashi slowly nods, the hotel staff looking at the two of you.

"...Ava, do you know what your husband does late at night?"

Your eyes widen, your heart skipping a beat as she addresses the unspoken.

"Fuck you." You spit.

"I'm really asking, because from what I experienced...You're a lucky woman."

Now you’re the one with disgust in your eyes, the urge to spit in her face stronger than ever before.

“…Say hi to mom for me, Tashi." You say, your hands balling into fists.

“Happy to.” She utters, walking toward the elevator. “Tell Patrick I’m wishing him good luck.”

…

3:00pm

You only tell your husband bits a pieces of your encounter, not daring to remind him of the man he was in Atlanta.

“I don’t even know why I tried.”

“Both of them are assholes.” He agrees, “At least now we’re sure of it.”

“I guess.” You bite your nails, stroking Bear’s ears. “Patrick you have to beat him in the Final. We can’t let them win.”

“I know, baby.” He nods, on your wavelength. “I know.”

——

May 4th, 2019 // Night Before the Final, 11:25pm

“Pat, it’s really coming down out there.” You look out of the hotel window, tarps flying into the street. “What if they cancel the match?”

“They’d never do that.” He watches the TV, “It should lighten up by morning.” 

You hum, snuggling next to him as the bright screen flashes through an action sequence. Patrick’s phone vibrates, his phone brightness lighting the rest of the room.

“Oh, baby.” He shifts his body, making you sit up. “I gotta go.”

“Now? Why?” You try to look on his phone but he pulls it away, scrolling.

“I have to, um,” He rubs his head, looking stressed. “My racquet, I have to pick it up.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“They just messaged reminding me that we have to have this certain racquet to compete tomorrow.” He stands up, rushing toward the door.

“What- Patrick,” You follow him, “It’s like a fucking flash flood out there, can you not do this tomorrow?”

“Baby, they close at midnight, I gotta go,” He kisses you, “I love you.”

“Patrick, wait-“

“I love you, I have to go!” He shuts the door behind him.

…

12:30am

You have a strange urge to cry as you scroll through Art Donaldson’s instagram. Photos of him and his seemingly perfect family are plastered all over, an ‘@Tashidonaldson ♡’ at the top of his bio.

Patrick never wanted kids, said they’d cost too much and you couldn’t care for them. He was correct about the former, but care for children, you are willing and able to do. But when you married him, he did a lot of the decision making for you. 

Now, as he’s blown all of your savings, lost his tennis touch, and been out of the damn hotel room for an hour doing god knows what , you wish you could shout at past you to get a grip. 

Though, looking at these picture now, you wish you could do the same to past Art Donaldson too. 

———

May 5th, 2019 // 📍New Rochelle Courts, 1:00pm

Final Day

The crowd’s heads robotically turned side to side as Art and Patrick dog it out in a vicious match. You sit in your assigned seat next to your sister, the endless stream of slander not ceasing, not even today.

“Is he retiring after this?” You ask, your head still going between the men.

Tashi shrugs, her expression hidden behind her sunglasses. “Maybe.”

"...I don't think Patrick will ever retire. I think tennis is all he has."

She hums, "If only he'd start winning his matches."

"He doesn't always play for the wins, Tashi."

"Yeah, he plays for the participation money."

"Maybe he does." You say, "At least he does it by choice."

She looks to you, her attention no longer on her husband’s tie breaker. "Art does it by choice."

“Like hell he does.” You scoff, “He wouldn't be retiring after becoming a Career Grand Slam if he wanted to be doing this.”

“Art is an adult, he does what he wants.” She looks back to the court.

“Art is your slave, he does what you want.”

Tashi continues trying to get to you. As Patrick sets for his next serve, he looks in your direction. Only, he isn’t looking at you, he’s looking at your sister. He returns his gaze to Art, placing his ball in the neck of his racquet.

Both you and Art freeze, staring at your husband. The men seem to be in their own world, but Patrick must’ve forgotten that you know too. The word seems to muffle around you as you stare at your husband’s evil grin at Art.

You stand on shaky legs, grasping your stomach as bile threatens to come up. 

“Hey…” Tashi calls after you, “Ava, what the fuck are you doing?”

You run to the nearest exit, Patrick’s blatant disrespect and repulsiveness making you want to genuinely die where you stand.

It’s only as you stumble to your car that it truly hits you who the man you married really is, and how he really sees you. 

Like everyone else, he thinks you’re a pawn in Tashi’s game. A piece that can be battered and bruised but will never go away, as it’s crucial to the game of Tashi. You want to vomit as you sit in your car, Patrick’s scent sending you into a violent sick.

———

May 14th, 2019 // 📍Zweig home, 12:00pm

9 Days Later

Three knocks at the door echo through your almost empty house. You pause your show, unlatching the chain and opening it. 

Patrick stands in front of you, a hysterical attempt of a sad expression on his face.

“Everything’s here.” You walk him in, pointing to the boxes full of his stuff in the kitchen. “The only things that aren’t are your racquets, trophies, cups, stuff like that. Those are in the closet so they wouldn’t get mixed up.”

“Thanks.” He says, feeling like an alien in this house.

“Yeah.” You give him a thumbs up, returning to the couch next to Bear.

He spends an hour loudly moving his things from the kitchen to his car, the sound almost drowning out your show. Regardless, you stay put, wanting him to be done as fast as he can.

“Ava…” He calls over the reality TV. You ignore him, popping another veggie straw into your mouth. 

Suddenly, his arm comes from behind you, grabbing the remote and muting it.

“Hey.” You turn around.

“I’m talking to you.”

“Okay, well I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Ava, I’m sorry-“

“Pat,” You chuckle, not being able to keep it in. “Don’t even.”

“Baby, listen to me, okay? I fucked up-“

“Patrick, Patrick!” You stand up, “Just stop, okay? Leave me be, finish getting your shit, and I’ll have the papers served to you by the end of the week.”

“Baby, no. Please.”

“Honey, there’s nothing you can say.” You shake your head, having prepared for his begging days ago. “Go beg to your mistress, yeah?”

He continues rambling, stumbling over his words. “Ava, it was such a bad mistake. I told myself it was strategy and- And because me and her have a complicated past I couldn’t see straight-“

“But nothing about us is complicated, right? We are married, we’re supposed to be a team. But you betrayed me, plain and simple.” You lay it out for him, “You’re a cheater and we’re done, now go.”

“It was a mistake-“

“Patrick…” You inhale, “I’m trying not to lose it, you need to get the fuck out.”

“Just hear me out-“

“Get out of the house, Patrick.” 

“We can come back from this, Ava. We can.”

Your jaw hangs agape in genuine disbelief. He seems to notice he fucked up again as he stops speaking. You walk around the couch, getting in his face the same way Tashi used to get in yours.

“Patrick,” You begin, “I gave everything for you. I gave up my life, I gave up my family, I gave up Art, I left it all for you. I abandoned so much to be in your corner because I was in love with you, I really was. Whether you felt the same about me, I’ll never actually know-“

“I loved you, baby. I still love you-“

“But I thought you were the one who understood me, Patrick. But somehow every time I gave you a chance to correct yourself you threw it away to be with Tashi. Over and over. She’s constantly being picked over me, her feelings over mine, her body over mine, her opinion over mine…You’re just another one of her fans. You’re just like Art- Honestly, you’re fucking worse. At least  he pretended to like me all those years ago. Now, as my husband, you just don’t give a shit. Just publicly showing that you slept with my sister.”

“…Why do you keep bringing up Art?” He looks down at you, “Do you- Do you feel something for him still?”

“Oh my fucking-“ You cover your face, composing yourself once again before continuing. “Pat, it’s been a long, long time since this all started. And if I could go back I’d change many things. But at the end of it all, I’m here because I worked for it and I endured it. You and Art can stay stuck under Tashi’s finger, that’s fine. But I know that life is bigger than that. Bigger than this weird threesome love triangle shit that you circle back to every few years. I am a grown woman who is in control of her own life so if you don’t have anymore comments, you need to get out and sign the papers when they’re served to you, Patrick.”

“…Baby, please,” He cries, his lip quivering. “You love me, we love each other. Please just think about it.”

You tilt your head, “Do you want me to be honest?”

Patrick nods, hiccuping on his tears.

“…All of this is really really beneath me.” You quietly tell him.

He lowers his head, his hands covering his eyes.

“When I was 18 I might have been broken over stuff like this but…” You shrug, “Things are very very different from when we were teenagers.” 

[finerllines]

glasgow [dad!h]

a/n: hello!! i know this is super late but i wanted to write something tour related for darcy and dylan. this is best attempt at writing angst lol there is still a fluff, happy ending because i am a big baby please reblog and comment (and send feedback) !!! especially because my stuff hasn't been showing up under tag searches so they are not reaching many people :P i also post on wattpad if you prefer!!

wc: 1.5k+

summary: big day (complimentary) for harry's career but big day (derogatory) for harry as a dad

cw: just a couple effs and jeffs

Turns out being a rockstar wife and mother is not as easy as being a rockstar girlfriend. Instead of just being responsible for scheduling and taking behind the scenes content, she now has to pack for two one year olds, who are starting to teeth, on top of ensuring that every green room, hotel room, and tour bus has the proper accommodations for the family of four.

Does she miss parading around with Harry looking hot? Sure. But would she change a thing about her life now? Never.

Well, usually her response would be never, but right now she wants to throttle her husband.

“Harry, don’t forget to pack the bassinets, okay.”

Not looking up from his screen he hums, “Mmmh.”

She doesn’t know what to take from that response.

She knows he has been busy and stressed with his upcoming tour being the biggest solo venues yet. He’s spent the whole week rewatching rehearsal videos and looking over the stadium plans to mentally map out his show. This week at home was pencilled in to give him a little break between the promo shows and the tour, and y/n had hoped that they’d get to spend some time together as a family and let the twins to play outside before they would be relegated to just playing among themselves in hotel rooms. Unfortunately, Harry’s mind has been so preoccupied with the shows that most of the trips to the park have been without him.

Harry has always been good with splitting his time between family and career, living up to his promise that being a dad would always be a priority, so y/n lets him spend the week working this one time. However, her generosity is wearing thin.

The only thing designated to Harry (on top of packing his day clothes and carry on) is packing the bassinets, which encompasses breaking them down into parts and tessellating them in their travel bags. Simple enough. But they are set to leave tomorrow, and the bassinets have yet to be touched and every time she has reminded him to get on it, he has similarly agreed dismissively. She wants to trust her husband because he’s not one to be irresponsible, especially not with his babies, but her mum instincts are telling her to not take it for granted.

So, she reminds Harry again when they sit down for lunch, before y/n leaves for a walk with the twins, and in the middle of dinner, the last of which causes him to snap.

“Geez,” he exclaims whilst letting his cutlery fall noisily onto the marble table, “how many times are you gonna remind me. I’m not a child, I don’t need to be nagged at.” 

Taken aback by his sudden attitude, she stares at him unmoving with eyebrows pinched.

“I just don’t want you to forget considering that we’re leaving early tomorrow morning and it’s still not packed. And every time I’ve reminded you, you’ve been busy with work stuff, I don’t know if you’ve actually heard me. Maybe if you just communicated with me like an adult then I wouldn’t have to keeping reminding you.”

He rolls his eyes this time. “If y’know I’m busy with work then why do you keep bothering me. Two babies aren’t enough to keep you preoccupied. Fuck.”

“Fine,” she replies shortly, “I’m sorry for disrupting your work, Harry. Feel free to get back to work whenever you wish.”

She clears her plate, then carries the twins up to get them ready for bed silently, not looking back at him once. He rolls his eyes at her attitude again and huffs under his breath as he goes back to eating.

They fall asleep without saying another word to each other.

-

Backstage is bustling with activity. Mitski just started her set and the band are listening from the screen in the green room while trying to get focused.

The crowd is huge, and it only seemed to be getting larger.

Harry hasn’t played venues like this in years and to say he’s nervous is an understatement. For once, he isn’t feeding positively on the crowd’s energy, and being around the crew isn’t helping because everyone is a little on edge, all radiating nervousness. Wanting to take his mind off the show, he heads to the family green room, it’s almost time to put the twins down for bed anyways.

“Hi my loves, can I …” he trails off as he takes in the scene in front of him, “What’s going on? Why are ya packing everything up?”

Instead of y/n playing with Darcy and Dylan to tire them out before bed, she has them strapped in the stroller and is packing the big diaper bag.

She doesn’t offer an explanation, so he tries again. “Love, the babies aren’t going to bed?”

“They are.”

“But they’re in the stroller.”

“They’re going to bed in the hotel.”

His head whips around to look at his wife. “Huh?”

“Their bassinets aren’t here, so they need to sleep in the hotel.”

Harry’s heart drops to his stomach. The back of his neck goes cold. “I’m so sorry lovie,” he doesn’t know if he should be apologising to his wife or his children. “I’m so sorry. I forgot to pack the bassinets.”

The sound of the zip slices through the thick air. “Hmm. I made sure the hotels have bassinets so they’ll sleep fine.”

“But … but that means you won’t be here for the show. I wanted to get cuddles before I go on.” He is fully aware that he’s in a pathetic state right now, pouting and whining because something hasn’t gone his way.

When y/n just continues to pack silently, he keeps going. “I’m so nervous and I just, I want you to be here, like always. Can they sleep here tonight? I don’t know if I can go on without you waiting for me, without knowing you’re watching me. And, and it’s a really big show tonight.”

“Our children are not sleeping on a sofa or in their strollers, not when there are perfectly good beds in the hotel.” She ditches the stoicism for stern-ness this time.

“That was stupid, I’m sorry. I –“

“- Harry, we need you on standby.”

He sighs, dragging his hands down his face before looking up at the ceiling, trying to stop tears from falling. At least the nervousness is gone.

He doesn’t know what to do.

-

y/n feels sick to her stomach. She knows it’s a little petty to leave the venue without holding him tight and massaging the back of his neck to soothe him, especially since she knows that her husband came to her for comfort.

Harry’s crumpled expression stayed present in her mind as she rocked the babies to sleep. Seeing how stunning he was on stage through the livestream didn’t help to ease her guilt either.

Unfortunately, the urge to coddle him once he comes back quickly dissipated once the music stopped and his words flooded back.

Deciding to keep the cold shoulder, she greets Harry with a tight smile when he sheepishly steps into their hotel room.

“You did good. I’m proud of you.”

With hands clasped behind his back, he stands by the edge of the bed looking at her like a schoolboy awaiting a scolding.

“You watched the show?”

She nods.

“My love, please forgive me. I know I was a dick to you and I promise I’ll never speak to you like that ever again, never disrespect you again. I’m a shitty husband and a shitty dad and,” his voice cracks, “and it sucked not having you there.”

“H, c’mere, please.” Immediately, Harry throws himself onto the bed and crawls into her awaiting arms, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck, taking in a shaky deep breath. “It’s okay, I forgive you love.”

He shakes his head fiercely. “No, it’s not okay. No one is allowed to speak to you like that. Ever. You’re my wife, you love me the most, and I treated you like shit, like you don’t love and support me.”

“You were very disrespectful, but I know you mean it when you say you’re sorry. I was more upset that you allowed yourself to put your work before the family. You’re Harry Styles, every time you go on stage it’s magic, you didn’t need to spend every minute of last week focused on work.”

Untucking himself from y/n, he leans in to rest his forehead against hers. “I missed them. I promise we’ll have all of tomorrow together and I won’t let any of you out of my sight.”

When she gives him a soft smile, Harry tips his face down to catch her lips in a slow, sweet kiss. Still feeling a little tender, he pouts until y/n agrees to get out of bed to accompany him while he gets ready for bed, sitting on the toilet while he takes a quick shower and sandwiched between his body and the sink when he brushes his teeth.

Despite how exhausted he is from the long day, he doesn’t allow himself to fall asleep, wanting to savour the feeling of being held by the love of his life. When his lids get too heavy, he rests his head on her chest, letting himself get lulled to sleep by her heartbeat.

[dewdropreader]

3, 5, & 8 for the new years writing ask!! Happy new year :)

3. Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one?

I have no idea! It’s definitely possible but I have no plans for any other fandoms at the moment! I’ve definitely had ideas for other marvel fandoms (especially crossovers with Loki characters but also others being involved) but other than a vague idea I jotted down for Sylvie and Peggy Carter meeting I don’t have any planned fics for other fandoms!

If I had to predict, the only one I could imagine is if my rewatches of Steven Universe allow that show to dig it’s claws back into me lol. I wrote a few snippets for things when I was like 17-18, after I’d stopped writing/posting fics officially but had short little scene ideas I wanted to write down. I adore that show still but I’m not at peak obsession/interest like I am with the Loki fandom! But we’ll see! It’s always possible that something like that (or maybe even season 2 of Our Flag Means Death?!) could inspire me enough to write something else!

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

I have a few that are first up! The main one is my 5+1 Christmas/New Year fic, I need to finish that soon so it’s not *too* far beyond the holidays lol. I’m a bit over half done and it’s short little sections so hopefully soon! Here’s a little preview!

Sylvie shrugs and starts tearing into the present, the goofy mustache themed wrapping paper being shredded effortlessly. She pulls out a long piece of fabric, bright green and covered in a slightly gaudy combination of gingerbread cookies, candy canes, Santas, snowflakes and reindeer. Holding it up in front of her and shaking it out reveals a long fleece onesie.

Loki gives an exaggerated frown that doesn’t stick as he lets out a laugh. “Shall I guess what mine is?” Loki gestures to his identical package.

“I have one too,” Mobius grins, cheeky and way too proud of himself. He clearly knows that his two much more stylish partners aren’t taken by the loud patterned pajamas, but when he’d seen them at the store he couldn’t resist.

“We’re meant to wear them and, ah, ‘twin’, are we?” Sylvie smirks slightly, her eyebrow raised.

“Triplet, yes. And I have more for the other Lokis when they come over tomorrow. Croki included.”

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

It’s not fully in the vault, as I do have a bunch of notes and planning and even a few snippets for it, but it has been dragged along for a while and beyond what I have on the page there has been an insane amount of just sitting and thinking about it trying to sort it out in my brain and make it click! And that would be my Boastful Loki fic! In the vein of having written origins and/or rescues for the other void Lokis, I’ve wanted to tackle Boastful’s story for so long. I have a whole document of outlines and notes from conversations with people like @insert-witty-user-name-here where we discussed ideas and thoughts, all trying to build to the full fic, but it just hasn’t come together yet. Because we know so little about him (barely a personality beyond a few traits and no backstory) there are so many directions it could go, and I already have the main event that causes his deviation (briefly hinted at in “In the Middle of the Night”) but deciding exactly how I want the story to unfold to make it as impactful and fitting as I want, it’s just not there yet 😅 I hope this is the year it finally gets done!! I’m not sure if it’d be better or worse to finish it before Season 2, it’d be nice to solidify it with my own ideas but there’s a possibility he could show up again and we’d get some canon stories for him 🤔 Ideally I’d like to finish before summer/season 2 but we’ll see lol. Even if not the origin, I do have some plans for Boastful to show up and get some more time to shine in the found family series!!

Thank you for the ask!! ☺️

[feralnumberfive]

The Rewatch Academy: Episode 2 of Season 1

“Run Boy Run”

I am in no way a good analyst so my little analysis and speculations probably sound a bit goofy or pretty wild and probably mean nothing at all. Everything I put into this post about each episode is purely what I noticed or thought, whether it's funny or serious. I will be making jokes, so please just leave it at that (in no way am I trying to make fun of an actor and or character!) I am also in no way saying I noticed this stuff first. This is just what I noticed while rewatching these episodes

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

1x01 | 1x02 | 1x03 | 1x04

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

☂ Ben is a tired boy leaning on his chair

☂ Luther and Allison please stop making googly eyes at each other 

☂ Five really woke up and chose violence that day huh

☂ Diego already knows shit is about to go down and it’s so funny

☂ I love that Reginald doesn’t even scold Five for stabbing the table

☂ Five: “I have a question.” blah blah blah Veggie is talking Five: “I want to time travel.” That’s not a question, Five

☂ It’s interesting to see young Five blinking/jumping compared to older Five. Even at this age, 13, he says that he’s still practicing his spatial jumps. Young Five needs to clench his fists and almost squeeze his eyes shut just to concentrate. Older Five simply just teleports without effort and is able to casually blink even as he’s just walking. Five probably practiced teleporting a lot in the apocalypse 

☂ Someone else pointed this out, but all of the other Umbrellas are frozen for a for a second as Five teleports next to Reginald. While that freeze is just editing, and possibly a small error, this is another example of how Five’s spatial teleporting doesn’t make a noise. Luther, Diego, and Allison only look at Five when he begins talking to Reginald. Grace notices Five right away because he is in her line of sight while Luther and Diego were looking at where Five was sitting and Allison had her head down eating

☂ “The effects it might have on your body, even your mind, are far too unpredictable.” Harsh foreshadowing 

☂ The “Run Boy Run” scene is one of the best musical moments in all of the show. It gave me chills when I first heard it, and the fact that all of the lyrics that play during that part match so perfectly with it make it even better. Tomorrow is another day being sung as Five travels into 2019 is just too good 

☂ Imagine how scared you have to be to call out to your p.o.s father

☂ The instant regret immediately falls onto his face and he kneels in front of the Academy

☂ I love how in the first few episodes Five’s hair is styled exactly as it was when he was an old man and when he was actually 13. Over the rest of the season and the second season it just gets more disheveled and floppier 

☂ “You think I didn’t try everything to get back to my family?” Ahhhh there we go, one of my favorite Five lines. This here is probably when I truly fell in love with his character. He spent 45 years just trying to survive and attempting to get back to his family. He would have spent more too if the Handler hadn’t taken him in

☂ Vanya is genuinely trying to understand what happened and Five was being a little asshole. C’mon, bud, she’s just confused and hasn’t seen you in forever

☂ This Five and Vanya scene melts my heart (simply as a sibling relationship!!) She doesn’t care anymore if she understands, she just wants him to stay because she hasn’t seen him in a while. Even Five understands that as his demeanor quickly changes from being frustrated to gently telling her “Night.” He watches her as she leaves, also partially realizing that he hasn’t seen her in a while too

☂ Why didn’t Five just teleport outside of Vanya’s apartment?? That would have been the stealthiest thing

☂ “All quick and efficient skills.” A little note on Five’s level of skill of slaughtering the Commission agents in Griddy’s

☂ Diego said he bought his police badge on Ebay, so computers do exist in the UA universe

☂ “By the way, this thing might look like a botched robbery, but my gut’s telling me something else is going on here.”  Yeah, and that something else is your brother

☂ I want Claire to meet her uncles and aunt so bad

☂ So Ben has a ghostly puzzle book and pen he can use? Because if they were real Pogo would have been able to see them just floating in the air. What other ghostly items can Ben summon? (I believe this is more so just an error but it’s fun to think about)

☂  “I-I found it at a playground, actually. Must have just *click* popped out.” An underrated Five line

☂ Five immediately becomes aggressive at the thought of losing the eye, something he found clutched in the hand of his dead brother and was a clue to what caused the death of his siblings and the end of the world

☂ Just now noticed that you can see Diego up on the second floor being led down to where Patch is in the police station

☂ I really like that they added in the little tidbit about a cold case Five created 81 years ago

☂ I miss Patch. She deserved better and more screen time

☂ Hey, Diego might have been thrown out of the Police Academy but at least he’s still in The Umbrella Academy!

☂ Hearing Patch talk to Diego really made me realize that the Umbrellas weren’t even necessary for helping with crime. It was just Reginald’s way of training them

☂ Love the shot of Luther looking at Diego’s cross-stitch and the camera lining it up so it’s like he’s wearing the mask

☂ Five lying just to keep Vanya away and to continue on with his goal hurts. His goal is saving the world and his family, but I don’t think he actually took in what Vanya was saying to him or maybe he recognized the offer but shoved all of his feelings down. She was reaching out to actually get him some help and he lied to her to avoid that. Maybe he doesn’t care and is just blinded by his ultimate goal. Save the world and family first, then process your feelings and genuinely communicate with your siblings 

☂ Don’t worry Klaus, I would have let you wear that outfit

☂ When Cha-Cha questions “Five” aka the poor tow truck guy, she asks him about “The London job in ‘66.” I believe she is referring to the Shepherd’s Bush murders where three policemen were murdered

☂ Hazel replying “Not from what I’ve heard.” when Cha-Cha asks if he thinks Five is a whimperer shows that Five definitely had a reputation in the Commission for probably being a cold and stoic guy

☂ Vanya is just trying to help, chill Allison 😭. You haven’t seen her in years, what do you know about her?

☂ Klaus would really slap his brother in the face to get drug money

☂ Another example of Five not making noise when he teleports is when he blinks into the taxi and Klaus didn’t notice that he had left until he turned to look where Five was. On the other hand though the taxi driver does jump as Five suddenly appears in the car. However, I believe that might be from the driver noticing Five in a mirror in the car

☂ I wonder what languages the Hargreeves siblings know. Vanya didn’t understand Leonard’s German. You think Reginald would have taught them multiple languages or maybe she forgot it if she was taught it

☂ I don’t know why but Luther just siting there and reading a book and almost getting hit by the knife is really funny to me

☂ Yeah Diego doesn’t have to prove his innocence, but it would have saved a lot of trouble

☂ Rewatching the scene with Leonard talking to Vanya about his father is just disturbing when you already know what happened to him and how he’s lying just to try to be more relatable

☂ I heard a rumor that smoking is bad for you ❌

☂ Vanya calling to make sure Allison is okay even though she hurt her makes me sad. She’s so nice and thoughtful

☂ The old man can’t even reunite with his wife before he gets hunted down

☂ The shot of Hazel and Cha-Cha putting on their masks in the dark with the music is 👌👌

☂ Again, Cha-Cha isn’t able to hear Five as he teleports next to her and slices her arm. She might not have noticed him though because he was very quick to attack her

☂ Five really went through all of that just to bring his wife home

☂ I think it’s an easily blocked out part because we already know what Allison has to say and it’s exciting, but Luther is apologizing about accusing Diego and causing issues amongst his siblings

☂ Five is just so defeated and emotionally tired that he doesn’t allow Luther to touch him. In fact, he very quickly and aggressively grabs Luther’s wrist. You can tell Five is a little out of it and I believe it was more so his subconscious stopping Luther. Five doesn’t want help, he’s going to carry the burden of figuring out who ended the world and killed his family as far as he can by himself

☂ “There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing any of you can do.” Are such heavy lines. Five is so emotionally and mentally tired at the end of the day and he sounds like he’s about to breakdown. He’s replaying the moment he found his siblings’ corpses. They weren’t able to stop the person who ended the world. Luther is offering his help, but Five is denying it. Luther couldn’t stop the person who ended the world. None of his siblings were able to stop that person. He’s telling himself that they can’t help and he’s telling Luther and Allison that too. Five wants to be alone to figure out who this person is. His siblings can’t help him

☂ Five coming across the corpses of his siblings is just heartbreaking. He first stumbles across three adults lying in the rubble. One of them is holding an eye. He goes to shake the man in all black, having a tiny bit hope that miraculously he is still alive. He stumbles across another body only to back away with tears in his eyes as he spots the tattoo on the man’s arm and realizes who these people are

☂☂☂☂☂☂☂

Feel free to comment or reblog with things you have noticed too!

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Lucien’s Theatre Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 剧场之约, which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

[ Released on 20 January 2021 ]

Winter sunlight streams in through the French windows, illuminating the entire rehearsal room.

After a short week of filming, I seem to have returned to my life in university, being surrounded by an atmosphere of youthful enthusiasm daily.

Raising the camera in my hands, I record the beautiful and authentic scenes before me, little by little.

All of a sudden, a voice drifts from the front.

Female Student: Everyone, please gather in the middle~

Out of habit, I follow the voice, turning the camera towards the middle of the rehearsal room. But after a few seconds, the female student in the viewfinder walks straight towards me.

Female Student: Miss MC, could I trouble you and Professor Lucien to join us?

Surprised, I set down the camera. After exchanging a short glance with Lucien, we walk to the middle of the rehearsal room together and sit down.

Female Student: Firstly, there’s a piece of good news! Our performance timing has finally been set, and we’ll be having our first official rehearsal tomorrow!

Once the words are spoken, deafening cheers resound in the rehearsal room. I can’t help but lean towards Lucien’s ear.

MC: They can finally perform officially. That’s great!

Lucien: Only through perseverance can there be a future. This result isn’t unexpected.

MC: Who knows - they might become outstanding stage actors in the future!

The corners of my lips lift upwards uncontrollably, and images of them standing on stage surface in my mind.

Lucien seems to sense how I’m feeling, and he pinches the palm of my hand in response.

Female Student: Next, I represent everyone here to thank Producer MC and Professor Lucien! Without their help and advice, we probably wouldn’t know how much longer we’d have to prepare!

Warm applause resounds once again, and I chuckle in slight embarrassment.

MC: Actually, you should be thanking yourselves. We’re just recording the moments we see. Professor Lucien and I are very happy that we’re able to help everyone, and it feels very fulfilling.

Female Student: Miss MC, we actually have a tiny request… We wish to invite you and Professor Lucien to be our hosts. All our performers want to hear their own names being announced. I wonder if the both of you would be willing to participate in the official rehearsal with us tomorrow?

-

Right now, Lucien and I are brisk walking on the street.

Faced with the sincere and enthusiastic gazes from the students a few hours later, we agreed to this invitation. 

In order not to hold up their rehearsal time, Lucien and I suggested that we’d settle our attire.

Following the directions of the navigation system, we’ve arrived at the entrance of a shop. The numerous formal attire exhibited in the display window adds a touch of uniqueness to this small, ordinary street.

MC: Looks like we didn’t end up at the wrong place!

Lucien chuckles, tidying my slightly messy hair which has been blown by the wind.

Lucien: Mm, let’s go in.

Pushing the doors, a long corridor appears in our line of sight. Colourful stage costumes hang at the sides.

Staff: Could I help you? 

MC: Hello, we need two sets of formal evening wear.

The staff nods in understanding, lifting her hand and beckoning us to the deepest part of the corridor. 

Very quickly, we make our way to the section as directed. Before us are grandiose formal wear, giving me the mistaken impression that we’ve come to the wedding section...

MC: Lucien, I don't think these clothes suit us.

Lucien lowers his eyes. As though he thought of something, the corners of his lips lift gently. 

Lucien: The designs here aren’t as good-looking as the set we wore during the shoot at the wisteria garden the other time.

Lucien’s soft sentence makes my face heat up in an instant.

MC: [blushing] Why did you suddenly bring that up...

The mischievous glint in Lucien’s eyes grows deeper. Before he can speak, I hurriedly pull him to the men’s section.

MC: Well... there are too many choices for women’s wear. Let’s pick a set for you first!

The large sea of black, white, and grey greatly lower my troubles of selecting a colour.

After sieving through the differences in styles for various shirts, I quickly pick a standard collar, and a white shirt with a concealed placket.

Holding up a vest without lapels and a matching tie with a solid colour, I walk to Lucien.

MC: You’ll definitely look good in these two pieces. Even though the style doesn’t differ much from what you usually wear, but...

Lucien: But you picked these two for me. 

Lucien completes my sentence, his eyes crinkled into a smile. Taking the clothes, he walks towards the dressing room.

Only after a while do I realise that there’s something odd. I respond, raising my voice without realising it.

MC: ...that’s not what I meant. I was going to say that even though it doesn’t differ much, it still suits you, so you could give it a try!

Lucien pauses in his steps and turns around, giving me a gentle look.

Lucien: But that’s what I meant. 

Saying this softly, he turns and walks into the dressing room.

The faint rustling of clothes drifts from the dressing room. Not long after, Lucien steps out from within it.

The tailoring of the shirt displays his silhouette completely. Just as I’m about to nod in satisfaction, my gaze suddenly stops on his collar. 

MC: It seems like... it could use a collar pin!

I hastily walk to the section displaying collar pins, then select an exquisite yet not too gaudy pin, placing it against him.

MC: Lucien, how’s this collar pin? Do you like it?

Lucien: I like it.

Seeing how Lucien said that he liked it without hesitance, I suddenly decide to be playful.

MC: You like it unconditionally because I picked it, right?

Placing my hands behind me, I lift my chin slightly, pretending to be difficult on purpose.

Lucien pinches my nose gently, his eyes filled with tenderness and flittering light.

Lucien: Of course it isn’t unconditional liking. It’s because MC understands me very well, and knows what suits me. That’s why I can unhesitatingly say that I like it.

In the next second, Lucien brings the hands that were behind me to the front, and lowers his head slightly. 

Lucien: Now, could I ask Miss MC to put it on for me? 

Seeing the pair of gentle eyes in front of me, my heart skips a beat.

Steadying my breathing, I take one step forward, lifting the collar pin in my hand.

MC: [blushing] Stand properly... don’t move.

A soft chuckle drifts from before me, the breath following along with it dispersing at the tip of my nose.

Lucien: In that case, before I can’t move at all, could I lift my chin? Otherwise, I’m afraid it won’t be convenient...

His warm breath travels to me, and the tips of my ears heat up.

Lifting my head slightly, a clear Adam’s apple and lower jawline enter my line of sight, and I soon meet his eyes.

I hurriedly lower my eyes, doing my best to focus my attention on my hands, carefully adjusting the position of the collar pin.

MC: Mm, that’s more like it!

Lucien turns his head and faces the mirror for a while. Then, he reaches out and laces our fingers together.

Lucien: Thank you. Everything before me - I like them very much.

MC: Next, it’s Professor Lucien’s turn to help me pick an outfit. 

Lucien: If I’m able to pick an outfit that MC is satisfied with, I’ll naturally be very willing to help.

MC: Let’s go then!

Taking his arm naturally, we had towards the women’s wear section. Faced with hundreds and thousands of dresses, Lucien and I exchange a glance of tacit understanding, deciding to split ways to operate.

Innumerable extravagant dresses brush past my fingers, and my heart grows increasingly heavy.

MC: Lucien, should we go to another shop?

While speaking, I turn around, but can’t find a trace of Lucien.

Just when I'm prepared to continue walking, a familiar profile overtakes my vision.

Lucien is holding a refreshing white dress as he walks towards me. 

The dress is as light as silk, and isn’t embellished with overly gaudy designs. The extremely simple tailoring style makes it just right.

Seeing the dress in front of me, my gaze is soon deeply drawn to it.

MC: Did you... find this?

Lucien: The staff here is very professional. According to the style I described, she found a similar outfit. Want to give it a try? 

Nodding, I take the white dress from him, walking into the dressing room to change into it. The buttons at the back enable me to adjust the tightness of the dress, enabling the size to be just right.

After changing into the outfit, I take a deep breath and push the door open. 

MC: Lucien, what... do you think?

The unconcealed anticipation in my heart seems to make even my gait feel lively.

Tugging the skirt upwards, I stop in front of him, lifting my eyes to meet his, which are as tender as water. 

Lucien: It looks very nice. I like it too. 

Lucien: It’s as though the countless images I envisioned in my mind are far from rivalling the you in front of me.

-

The next day, Lucien and I bring the rented outfits to the theatre. 

Perhaps due to this being the first time everyone is participating in a rehearsal and have absolutely no experience on stage, there are many unpredictable occurrences on the scene--

A disjunct between where the light falls and where the actors are standing, the sound effects becoming louder and softer abruptly, not having sufficient time to change outfits before needing to appear on stage...

All sorts of incidences causes the scene on stage to be especially messy, and everyone suggests rewatching the rehearsal process recorded on the camera.

As the students sit around the camera, their expressions gradually turn solemn...

Female Student A: Some people’s volumes are too soft. The stage here is much larger than the rehearsal room. Our voices need to be louder!

Male Student B: While raising your volumes, don’t just focus on your own lines. I’ve watched the rhythm of many people become a mess...

Male Student C: People who know what we’re doing will think we’re performing a stage play. Those who don’t know what we’re doing will think we’re performing acrobatics...

Seeing this scene before my eyes, my lips move as I prepare to say something.

As though noticing my hesitance, Lucien leans to my ear.

Lucien: Go on. I think what they really need right now is advice from a “bystander”.

Nodding my head, I walk towards the students. After taking a deep breath, I speak gently.

MC: Let’s not lose heart. These problems aren’t that difficult to resolve. They didn’t arise just because you lack experience. These issues also crop up for a mature stage acting groups.

I try to employ a more relaxed tone, and the heavy atmosphere seems to disperse bit by bit. 

Female Student A: In that case, how do those professional groups resolve them?

MC: Actually, there aren’t special methods. It’s just that the accumulation of experience over time and channeling their emotions into it enables them their convictions to become especially strong. Toss aside all the distracting throughs, believe in your own role, believe in this stage, and then enjoy it. 

Female Student B: I once watched an online lesson where the acting teacher mentioned that actors need strong convictions. But knowing it and applying it are two different things...

I nod thoughtfully. Just as I prepare to speak, a familiar voice pipes up.

Lucien: Why don’t we toss aside the “troublesome” things in front of us, and play a small game. 

I turn my head in astonishment, watching as Lucien smiles and blinks at me.

Even though I don’t know what he intends to do, the familiar gaze always enables me to feel at ease during such moments. 

Lucien: Students who are interested can first close their eyes, and feel their bodies. 

Although the students have puzzled expressions on their faces, they still close their eyes in succession. 

Lucien: Now, lift up your arms, and bring them to the same level as your shoulders. Right now, you’re feeling that your left arm is very heavy. It’s as though a large stone is hanging from it, and it keeps sinking downwards. 

The surroundings are very quiet, and it seems everyone is tranquil in Lucien's voice.

Lucien: All right, please open your eyes slowly. Right now, you’ll see that your left arm is much lower than your right arm.

Right after his words are spoken, surprised gasps can be heard all around.

Just as Lucien said, the left arms of everyone are indeed lower than their right arms. 

Lucien: The small game is over. Everyone can put their hands down.

Female Student A: What is this...?

Male Student B: I didn’t even control my left hand but it went down on its own!

In an instant, lively chatter commences on stage. The students are curious and pleasantly surprised as they turn to Lucien.

Lucien: This is just a small game with psychological suggestion involved. It’s similar to the “conviction” MC mentioned earlier. Perhaps using such a method, everyone can have a more direct experience of the meaning within it. After our brain accepts certain hints, our body will involuntarily perform a corresponding action. This small game can also be used in performances. Why not try believing everything in front of you? This way, your body will also respond with more authenticity.

Male Student A: But how can one perpetually believe in everything that happens on stage? It feels too difficult. 

Lucien chuckles, nodding thoughtfully. 

Lucien: I don’t think conviction can be reached in one step, nor is it achieved permanently. Instead, it’s been hidden in your hearts since a long time ago, but you just haven’t noticed it. Actually, MC and I already felt your conviction in the rehearsal room since early on.

Lucien looks at the boy who asked the question, giving him a response.

Lucien: If I didn’t recall wrongly, you’d mull over your lines softly even before it’s your time to appear on stage.

Soon after, Lucien looks at another female student.

Lucien: When you’re making the props, you’d follow the plot of the script and include appropriate details. I think the courage of chasing your dreams can defeat self-doubt and regret. That’s when conviction exists.

Lucien quietly mentions the actions everyone does typically. Those wordless and plain day-to-day actions seem to be given a certain strength at this moment. 

Everyone lowers their heads, and the air becomes still.

All of a sudden, a female student pats herself roughly on the cheeks. Everyone else lifts their heads, walking to their positions. 

Female Student A: Let’s do it again!

Male Student B: Professor Lucien is right. Our conviction is our dream, and it’s something we can’t lack!

Watching as everyone gets ready, I shoot Lucien a thumbs up.

MC: “Professor Lucien, you’re amazing!”

Lucien seems to understand the words I’m mouthing, and his eyes curve into crescent moons.

Very soon, under everyone’s self-initiated organisation, we go through rehearsal after rehearsal.

Apart from the host’s announcement before the program, I’m not left idle during the remaining time. 

I adjust the angle of the camera, trying my best to record everyone so it’d be more convenient for them to rewatch their states.  

By the time the rehearsal is completely over, the sky has already gotten dark. The students have packed their costumes and props, waving and bidding us farewell. 

MC: Huff... after a few more rehearsals, it’d be the actual performance. 

Lucien: Are you feeling nervous?

Looking at the script in my hands, I involuntarily tighten my grip on it. 

MC: Instead of being nervous, it’s more of looking forward to their performance. I wish for everyone’s names to be clearly conveyed to the audience on that day.

The corners of Lucien’s lips tug upwards gently, and he supports his chin, as though thinking of something. 

Lucien: In that case, why don’t we practise again on our own a few more times? After all, the rehearsal time was used completely on the program, and the time for the “hosts” was largely reduced. 

Before I can react, Lucien takes my hand and walks towards the stage.

Lucien: Now, this is a rehearsal time belonging only to the both of us. 

Hearing this, my gait subconsciously becomes lighter. We stop one-third on the stage.

Holding the script in my hand, I recite the lines eloquently. However, the occasional trip-ups makes the nervousness hidden in the depths of my heart slip out furtively.

Just as I plan to start over from the beginning, I notice at the corner of my eye that Lucien seems to be looking at me. 

MC: Lucien, what is it?

A flittering light flashes across Lucien’s eyes. I can vaguely guess what he’s secretly “plotting”.

Lucien: I suddenly remembered that even hosts need some “conviction”. Would MC be willing to mutually assist each other?

MC: Sure. What must I do? 

Lucien: Before reciting from the script, you could say some things from the heart at that moment, which could strengthen our sense of conviction. It could enable us to believe that the us of right now exists for this moment. 

Watching Lucien saying this “dead seriously”, I can’t help but chuckle. 

MC: For instance?

Lucien: For instance, when I see you busying yourself in the rehearsal room, I feel very happy. When I’m standing on stage with you, I also feel very happy. Right now, as I face MC and express the words from my heart, I’m very happy.

His gentle voice is at my ear, sending ripples across my heart. 

Just as what Lucien said, his eyes and lips generously express his happiness.

It’s as though my emotions have been influenced by his, and the anxiousness buried in the depths of my heart are swept away, replaced with brimming warmth.

MC: Me too! Lucien, I'm very happy that I can make you feel happy. 

The happiness in Lucien’s eyes grows even deeper. He lifts his head, tousling my hair gently.

Lucien: [chuckles] MC. 

Lucien: Believe in them, believe in yourself, and believe in us.

-

Student A: There’s one hour left till the actual performance. Everyone, do one more check! If there aren’t any problems, get ready backstage. 

Right after the words are spoken, the makeup room once again boils with excitement. 

Female Student A: Deep breaths... deep breaths...

Male Student B: We’ll succeed. Today, we’ll be the brightest ones on stage!

Just as everyone leaves the makeup room, I tug on Lucien’s sleeve lightly.

MC: Lucien, hold on. I want to prepare a little something for them. 

Under Lucien’s puzzled gaze, I retrieve post-it notes and a pen from my bag, walking towards the table which has hot beverages on it. 

MC: I don’t think they need any advice at this point. So... I just wish to give them a most ordinary encouragement and my well-wishes. 

Lucien: I believe they’ll sense your regards. 

Lucien takes the post-its that I’ve written, carefully pasting them on every bottle. 

Very soon, there’s a pale yellow outer coat pasted on every hot beverage on the table. 

MC: Done. Let’s hurry and gather backstage!

Carrying our bags, we head towards the backstage. When making a turn, something seems to get caught on my clothes, causing me to halt in my footsteps.

Turning around carefully, I hear the sound of something falling onto the floor.

What follows closely after is my dress being tugged downwards...

MC: Oh...

Before I can exclaim in alarm, Lucien pulls me behind a curtain at a corner, hiding us from view in an instant. 

Scorching warmth is at my waist, causing the tips of my ears to become scaldingly hot.

MC: [blushing] D-don’t let go, the dress is about to slide off...

A soft chuckle drifts from behind me, and the breathing that comes along with it brushes my shoulders gently.

Lucien: Don’t worry, I won’t loosen my grip.

Just as I lower my head in search of the button, a voice sounds from behind the curtain.

??: Professor Lucien, Miss MC, are the two of you there? The performance is about to begin.

My heart immediately tightens. The curtain trembles lightly, as though someone is almost about to pull it...

In the next second, Lucien doesn’t let go, turning his body to the side, covering more than half of myself.

Before I can say anything, Lucien presses lightly on my waist with his finger pads, as though hinting that I shouldn’t make a sound. 

The soft touch travels from the small of my back to my entire body, and waves of heat continuously stream to the back of my ears.

Lucien: Student, I’m discussing some private matters with her. Thank you for your reminder. We’ll head to the backstage very soon. Please head over there first. 

While Lucien speaks, he gently tightens the cloth at my back, and I can’t help but take a breath, staring fixedly at the tips of my shoes. 

The sound of footsteps behind the curtain gradually grows softer, but the beating of my heart quickens uncontrollably.

MC: [blushing] Lucien, let’s hurry and find the button to seam the dress...

Lucien: Don’t worry, I happen to have an idea which could resolve this issue.

While speaking, Lucien retrieves a black coloured felt box from his pocket, opening it to reveal an exquisite butterfly brooch.

Lucien: During the rehearsal, I kept feeling as though something was lacking on the chest area of this dress... Which is why I picked a brooch I thought was appropriate. But from the looks of it now, using it at the waist isn’t a bad choice.

As he speaks, he removes the brooch from the box. 

Lucien: Don’t move. I’ll put it on for you.

I nod, both hands tugging on the curtain. The beating of my heart, akin to drums, grows faster and faster...

Perhaps due to the narrowness of the space, Lucien’s hands indistinctly brush against my lower back, and my face grows scorchingly hot.

Lucien: Hold on for a while longer. It’d be done soon.

I seem to have lost my ability to speak, and can only nod wordlessly.

Lucien: All right, see if the tightness is suitable? 

I lower my head and move my lower body. The tightness of the clothes is just right.

MC: [blushing] Mm... it’s just right. Let’s hurry over. It’s almost time for the audience to enter the venue. 

With a red face and a leaping heart, I tug my skirt upwards and quickly step out of the curtain at the corner. Hearing a soft chuckle from behind, my pace quickens, as though I’m fleeing.

With a turn, I reach the backstage. Just when I’m about to distribute the beverages, I find that everyone’s gazes are filled with disappointment. 

I have no idea what happened, and can only look around in confusion.

It’s only when I notice the audience seats that my heart suddenly tightens--

Even though it’s already time for the audience to enter the venue, the audience seats aren’t filled to the brim as expected. Only a few dozens of audience members are scattered around.

Furrowing my brows, I’m slightly frantic as I lean towards Lucien, lowering my voice.

MC: What should we do? At this rate, I’m afraid there won’t be many people even when the performance begins...

Even before Lucien responds, voices from the surroundings gradually drift to my ears. 

Male Student A: Looks like we’ve still got a long way to go before we can fulfil our dream. 

Female Student B: But I’m already very happy that people came!

Even though the students before me are smiling, I can still capture tinges of disappointment in their eyes. 

The scene before me gives me a sense of familiarity... 

I seem to have felt this way when I first took over “Miracle Finder”.

Viewership which was too appalling to look at, the constant losing of old viewers, and the program almost being called off...

I subconsciously turn my head towards Lucien, and my train of thought pulls me back to the day we first met--

I had invited Lucien to be an advisor for the final episode of the program, and that day was also our beginning. 

Dreams don’t just rely on perseverance. It also requires seizing every opportunity.

Thinking about this, I inhale deeply, taking the hot beverages in Lucien’s hand and distributing them to every “actor” backstage.

MC: No matter how many people are in the audience seats, today is simply your beginning. All the best, and let’s shine on stage together. 

When the final bottle of hot beverage is sent into the hands of the students, I finally let out a slow breath. 

The lights below the stage gradually dim, and the performance is about to begin.

Lucien: MC, were you thinking about how you used to be earlier?

In the dimness, a question floats to my ears softly.

I turn my head, meeting Lucien’s eyes. It seems my thoughts can never evade his eyes.

MC: Mm, I even thought about you...

A ray of radiance inadvertently flashes across Lucien’s eyes, before they are filled with a brimming smile. 

Lucien: Looks like... when we didn’t even notice it, we thought about how we were at the very beginning. But the us of right now seems to differ in quite a number of ways from how we were before.

MC: For example? 

Lucien: Being with MC enables me to see that many beautiful things exist. Just like the conviction we talked about earlier. From the first time we met, I already felt it from you. But with the gradual movement of time, I seem to understand you more and more. And I believe you’re just like me.

MC: Lucien... I also believe that the way we feel about each other won’t remain in place. 

Right after I finish speaking, the stage is illuminated, as though hinting that we’re about to make an appearance.

He bends down slightly, offering me his hand.

Lucien: MC, let’s go.

Breathing in deeply, I take his hand, making my way onto the stage slowly. The glaring light falls on us, and I’m unable to see the audience clearly.

But right now, I feel even more emotional than every rehearsal we had before.

I take a deep breath, lifting the microphone as I smile brilliantly. 

MC: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight’s performance has been prepared by a group of university students who are enthusiasts of traditional performing arts. Right now, let’s welcome the first play, “King Lear”, the performers...

Through the microphone, every word and sentence clearly spreads to every corner of the theatre. 

I know that I’m not speaking for myself, but also for the dreams carried in the hearts of every student backstage. 

And I’m not alone, because...

I met Lucien. 

-

🎭 MOMENTS 🎭

Lucien’s Post: On an unseen stage, everyone plays different roles.

MC: What role are you playing then?

Lucien: I may have played many roles, but it’s only when I’m in MC’s world can I feel especially relaxed.

-

Lucien’s Post: On an unseen stage, everyone plays different roles.

MC: What role am I playing then?

Lucien: No matter what it is, it’d probably... be a role that I like.

-

Lucien’s Post: On an unseen stage, everyone plays different roles.

MC: No matter what role I play, I won’t forget my original heart. 

Lucien: No matter what role the Little Stray Cat plays, I can find the most genuine you from within.

-

🎭 Phone calls: First ll Second

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[lukesperfectharmonyhair]

im rewatching jatp instead of studying for the 3 tests i have tomorrow and i thought i would share my thoughts and reactions with each episode so enjoy!!....

wake up

- hearing the “1, 2, 3″ at the start of the episode gives me more serotonin than my antidepressants ever will

- julie’s slippers...that’s it...that’s the thought

- that dry ass pasta the molina’s are eating for dinner??? someone needs to give my man ray some cooking tips or a cookbook... something

-the looks the boys give julie when she says it was an OLD cd she found. as if they could be old??

-the entire julie and luke kitchen scene i mean there are no words to describe how much i am in love with scene. the banter, the flirting, luke giving this girl he literally just met an actual PIECE OF HIS SOUL so she can get music back into her life. not a single time have i watched that scene and not felt my heart literally grow cause of how cute they are. 

-the entire scene when julie is singing wake up. that scene is what made me literally CRAVE watching the other episodes. like of course i was going to watch them cause i wasn’t gonna just stop watching a show after one episode, and yes the show was good already but seeing the lighting and her voice, and just everything about the scene,,,,*chef’s kiss* 

bright

-flynn drinking seven sodas....SEVEN??? i would be throwing up if i drank more than like 2 and she drank seven,,,no ma’am.

- flynn and her trumpet. talented queen

- “ i wouldn’t have given you the song if i didnt think you were gonna rock it.” lmaooo im crying:)

- i start tearing up every time julie goes to play the first notes of bright,,, and then i’m full on bawling when the guys come in and play with her cause...they weren’t playing to be seen they were playing to be there for her and play to comfort her. pls i love them<3

- nick vibing in the front row

- the tech guy deserves so much more praise

flying solo

- reggie’s little butt shake or whatever you wanna call it!!

- julie’s little laugh when she yells at the guys to stop it

- “and we’re on the runway again” GENUINELY one of my favorite lines of the whole show pls i love luke’s humor

-this is the first time i noticed this but reggie’s face after alex says “DONT TELL ME HOW TO GHOST!”

-WILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU<3333333

-the slow mo helmet take off,,,,me too alex me too

-willie’s little giggles:))))

- “oh-oh!”

- “no clue” alex i love you baby<3

- next season better give us a scene of flynn throwing eggs at someone’s house because i think it’s safe to say we were robbed of that experience. 

- the flying solo performance is just amazing

i got the music

- just the whole opening scene is so cute ....the dancing, singing, happiness RADIATING from julie 

-nick in an all white suit and fedora

-WILLEX MUSEUM DATE YEAH BABYYYYY

- carefree skateboarder bf and anxiety ridden drummer bf

- yelling. in. museums. 

-alex thinking he’s literally dying again because of the salt... zero braincells in this band.

- another scene we were robbed of that i need to see in season 2...reggie singing “home is where my horse is” while alex and julie sit patiently and attentively listen to him but luke looks like he’s about to commit murder

- i get SO MUCH second hand embarrassment for julie when she looks through luke’s songbook and says “ wow luke I didn’t know you were such a romantic” julie baby i love you but...eekkkkk

- “he looks like a substitute teacher”- where did he come up with that like so many other things he could be compared to but a substitute teacher??

- “luke introduced you to rock” heck yeah it did.. literal soulmates

- would like to see a picture of the raccoon in Flynn’s backyard

- wee woo wee woo police sirens://///

- julie’s outfit ughhhh i love it

- the poster that im pretty sure says “sexiest role” behind caleb... why was that necessary 

the other side of hollywood

- THE ENTIRE PERFORMANCE OF THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD 

- i lose my absolute shit over this song omg literal chills

- the cape grab i cannot physically do this rn

- willie being so excited the entire performance and looking over to see alex’s reaction

- reggie being in awe everytime one of the girls performing does something.. me too reggie

-”well i wouldn't really call it mAAgiCcCC bUT”

- nick and his fedora again

- alex has a crush, alex has a crush on.....WILLIE

-the boys eating food for the first time in 25 years is honestly so realistic

-alex shoving a whole slice of pizza in his mouth

- lukes ‘OH MY GODDDDD’

- reggie kissing his meatball sub that looks painfully dry but also delicious 

- the continuation of the other side of hollywood performance and everyone dancing

-reggie imitating caleb’s evil laugh and owen trying so hard not to break

-me getting mad at the boys for not showing up for julie and being sad with her but at the same time i’m obviously not mad at the boys just...disappointed?? idk 

finally free

- how did julie get to the school if she missed the first three classes?? wasn’t she still at flynn’s house from the night before cause she slept over so did she walk to school or was she just sitting in flynn’s house by herself and one of flynn’s parents was like you gonna go to school or???

-dance class with nicky poo<3

-reggie fixing his amp in the rain

-julie’s blue dress outfit in this episode is my ABSOLUTE favorite 

- the birthday candle scene makes me sob like a little baby,,,and rightfully so

- julie smart, smart to be taking calculus as what a sophomore??

- all eyes on me yes queen iconic

- alex dancing is how i dance in my brain whenever the song comes on 

- finally free as a song is NEVER given enough credit and why not?? it’s my favorite song they do as a band AND the madison’s vocals and the echoing part omg i loveeeee

- and the whole performance with luke’s heart eyes. i count this performance as the moment luke like fell in love with julie...like full on just blown away with how much awe and admiration he has for her in that moment and all the time.

 - julie and luke singing “and you’re a part of me” while staring directly into each others soul,,,yeah that’s love kids

edge of great

- carlos being the ghost hunter he is and tía being done with him

- luke’s pouting face 

- reggie and ray making breakfast together is so wholesome. reggie really loves and seeks comfort in ray and i love that

- luke just waiting next to julie’s locker and his little “hey”

- the first time i watch this scene i thought charlie was from new york cause of the way he says “ i can't do this without you” and then i watched the cast interviews and just realized he is somewhat joey tribbiani 

- jealous luke hehehehehhehehe

- “well dont you look shARrP”- yes he does luke thank you very much

- “uh oh i think someone has a crush on julie” yeah you do you little shit,,, now admit it to her

- the proud look on luke’s face when he realizes julie is still paying attention to HIM even though she’s supposed to be having a full on conversation with nick

- the shoulder push ( as someone who has had their own shoulder pushed in the middle of a high school hallway as a weird way of flirting,,,,i can definitely somewhat attest to how luke is feeling in that moment and i too continued to flirt with the person who shoulder shoved me while we were still standing in the hallway)

- the flow from whatever the hell dance nick and julie are doing and the perfect harmony dance is so special to me and i love it

-ADOANCLOBNAOVBCOAB THE HAIR PLSSSSS

- EVERYTIME THE SCENE COMES ON AND I SEE HIM WALKING THROUGH THE MIRROR I HAVE TO PAUSE THE SHOW FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHILE I DIE LAUGHING BECAUSE THE HAIR IS SO BAD EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE USED TO HOW IT LOOKS AFTER WATCHING THIS SHOW LITERALLY 30 TIMES

- i think people see my username and assume i like his hair in this scene but...ummm fun little fact i do not like it

- the dance is so good though ugh my babies

- the hair

- madison is gorgeous 

- another season 2 scene i need: julie teaching this dance to luke and they perform it in front of alex and reggie so they can see luke roll on the floor like that

-the hair

- the lift i loveeee

- the voices at the end of the song *chef’s kiss*

- the way julie spins out from luke and into nick omg so good

- “thAnKs pArTnER”

- luke denying his feelings for julie,,,babe pls

- the whole edge of great performance is so good and beautiful and the colors are SPECTACULAR 

-julie avoiding luke’s gaze lolz

- can't believe my mans really tried to deny he didn’t have feelings for julie like 5 hours earlier even though he’s getting upset because she hasn’t looked at him in 2 minutes

- THE. GUITAR. RIFF. SOLO.

- when i finally learn how to play the electric guitar well enough to learn the guitar solo... it’s over for everyone

-nick just came to watch the girl he likes perform not watch her flirt with a hologram plssss can we give this man a break next season.

- “we have to say goodbye to julie”- that’s literally more important to luke than not playing music anymore because julie is music to him now

unsaid emily

-already crying and the episode hasn't even started

-willex in the orpheum

- alex literally being OVER reggie

- nope too emotionally unstable to watch this scene right now

- my therapist will be hearing about this tomorrow

- show us the baby picture of luke cowards

- this is such a beautiful song that makes me cry every fucking time gosh damn it

- everytime i watch the flashback scene of luke on his bike i think of “christmas song” by phoebe bridges and i cry even more

- i tried to learn how to play this song on my electric guitar (because i dont have an acoustic guitar) and i ended up crying half way through so i do not think i will be playing it anytime soon:/

- the harmonies *chef’s kiss*

- THE POLICE LIGHTS ....i cry

- FAT tears rolling down my face

- there's literally not a moment i don’t cry during this episode

- interesting little relationship :0

- when i played percussion in 7th grade i used to lay down on the couch in the practice room at school ( which god knows what people did on that couch...ew) and stick my drumsticks up my nose too,,,, just another similarity between alex and i 

stand tall

- willie really drove a bus 200 miles into the desert for his crush

- WILLEX HUG 

- i love willie no last name so much,,,i just wanna hold and protect him

- alex’s ballerina dance

-julie’s overall outfit i love<3

- “im swimming”

- the way carlos hangs up the iPad on tía makes me CRACK UP he’s just lmao bye girl

- another julie outfit i love

- “anything julie. you know that.” AHHHHHAASIDSJFPACISN love bitches

- the suits

- luke’s hair in this episode is so much better than the perfect harmony hair pls

- YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE

- the way luke looks so restricted and confined in his suit... but at the same time he looks like a 10 week old puppy

-luke’s AGGRESSIVE but small foot tapping leading up to being on the stage

- the solos:)))))

- crying again over julie’s monologue to her mom

- julie really was brave enough to be ready to perform by herself

-the way Trevor looks at carrie when she says “been here before”

-ALEXXXXXX

-REGGIEEEEE

-luuukkKKKEEEEEEE

- this performance makes me cry

- especially the first time when i saw luke flickering...sobs

- he finally looks free in his suit:))

- alex’s solo is so pretty i love him

- reggie’s solo too 

- nick just straight up vibing the entire performance

- alex and luke holding hands...hehehe cute besties

- “thank you, guys” NO THANK YOU 

- the way julie begs for them to do something about the jolts for HER cause she knows luke would never say no to her

- “no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you,” I JUST SCREAMED AND IM PRETTY SURE I WOKE UP MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD...whoops

- going back to that line i could say so much about it but....for someone who’s life was literally MUSIC for the 17 years he was alive, and after finding out he could play music again even though he was dead and saying it made him feel alive, he would give that up- he would give up playing his guitar, playing in a band with his friends, give up writing and singing music- if he wasn’t doing that with julie. that’s more than saying i love you,,,that’s literally like saying i’d give up my ENTIRE LIFE and what i love to do if i dont get to do it with you

- i just made myself cry with that description...wow

-the hug<3

-also imagine how luke felt in that moment,,, hearing this girl, once again that he would give his life up for, saying in his ear that she loves them. i would motherfucking glow too, luke

- *passionately but gently holds each others faces*

-HANDS OFF MY BABY NICK, CALEB

- caleb’s outfit is....something

- the head turn plssss

this was so long and i am so sorry but if you read this far.....leave some of your own reactions or thoughts:)))

k goodnight im gonna, ugh, finally go study ://

[robinofinashiro]

love me love me / pretend that you love me / leave me leave me / say that you need me / so i cry and i pray for you to love me / 

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x fem! reader

note: the next imagine is part seven!! i’ve been rewatching haikyuu and sakusa has been living in my head rent free since then. I swear all of your req’s will be filled out but i wanna break up posts so it isn’t all just AoT. 

it wasn’t a secret to any of the MSBY players that both you and Sakusa were rather close to each other. it came off to no surprise to anyone, however; Atsumu being the privileged little prick he was, loved to poke fun at his most serious teammate. 

“hey sweetie,” Atsumu said, walking up to you as he wrapped his practice jersey around his neck and purposely showing off his bare upper body, “good morning Miya,” you replied, giving him a water bottle. he gave you a frown, “aww, what’s up with the last name?” he asked, making you slap his arm. 

Sakusa walked in with Hinata and Bokuto, the two of them talking his ear off about whatever it was they did last night. Sakusa’s eyebrows fluttered to confusion. he saw Atsumu basically giving you a show with him being shirtless and you weren’t stopping him from doing it.

given that you were one of their managers, it was second hand nature that you would see them like that every so often, but what Sakusa didn’t like was that he was alone like that with you. you were a cute girl, no one could deny that, so seeing you with Atsumu like that made him a bit angry. 

“good morning boys! hope all of you slept well last night!” you said happily, giving each boy their water bottles and towels for practice. usually, Sakusa would have stood by you and talked with you a bit but for whatever reason, you realized he didn’t and felt a bit odd, “your coach is running late. traffic was pretty nasty coming from our end of town so he instructed me to tell all of you to start practice without him,” you informed. 

they all nodded, pulling on their shoes and jerseys. you grabbed Sakusa’s wrist, gently holding it, “are you okay? you seem upset.” you asked him, hoping no one heard. he gave you an empty stare and walked onto the court without saying a word. 

you huffed, banking on the hope that maybe Sakusa was just having a rough day and it wasn’t you that had made him upset. in the time that his coach was still gone, everyone on the team practiced but still managed to goof around when they could. however, you could tell that Sakusa was still being abnormally angry and this time, it was at Atsumu. 

“okay, timeout,” you screamed, getting up from your chair, “Kiyoomi, is something wrong? you don’t seem like yourself,” you told Sakusa quietly. he shrugged, watching you drink your energy drink in nervousness, “seriously Sakusa, whatever is bothering you is affecting the way you play.” 

Sakusa rolled his eyes before giving Atsumu a quick look. 

“maybe you should have worried about my playing before you decided to flirt with one of my teammates.” you stared at him in confusion, wondering where the hell he got the idea that you were flirting with any of his teammates, “are you kidding me? I wasn’t flirting with anyone,” you stated, feeling your anger starting to rise. 

the entire gym had fallen silent as the argument started getting louder, “so you weren’t just flirting with my setter when we walked in?” he said a bit too calmly. you let out a laugh, trying to figure out where his mind was, “me? flirting with Atsumu? let’s be real here!” you exclaimed. 

Atsumu remained quiet, not knowing what Sakusa was even talking about, “I just found it weird that he was shirtless and getting really close with you when we walked in and you had no intentions to stop it. if I knew any better, I would say you were-,” you bit your lip as a way to stop yourself from letting anything irrational come out of your mouth but it immediately failed. 

“I dare you to finish that sentence. I fucking DARE you,” you screamed, catching everyone off guard. even Sakusa himself was stunned by your tone of voice. “I am so sorry for causing a scene right now, Meian, but I’m just fucking dumbfounded at the idea that Sakusa thinks I’m sleeping with the entire team!” 

“I never accused you of that!” “please! everyone knows what you were hinting at! unless I missed the ballpark completely then you can gladly explain what you meant!” 

Sakusa remained silent knowing he was caught red handed. 

you had no intentions of blurting this out but as your argument continued, it came like word vomit. 

“see, I wasn’t even going mention this to anyone because I was planning on extending my contract with the team, however; it’s funny how your true colors about me came out the week you play the Adlers.” 

the entire team fell stiff, a feeling of sudden fear crawling up their skin. 

“you all know that I came out of Karasuno with Kageyama and Hinata, right? so when Kageyama called me earlier this week talking about how their manager was retiring at the end of their season and they were looking for trained manager to take her place, I found it a bit odd because I knew that he knew I was your manager.” 

“what are you trying to say?” Hinata murmured, trying to ease the tension but failing easily, “what I’m trying to say Hinata, is that the contract Kageyama offered me doesn’t sound so bad considering I’d now be a detriment to the team because of my relationship with Sakusa.” 

the team had a dead silence looming over them as they watched you sit down on your seat again. 

“funny that you’re playing Schweiden on Thursday, right Sakusa?” you could see Sakusa’s face go even paler than it usually was as you didn’t bother to give him another look. 

you watched as Samson walked into the gym, wondering why the team wasn’t practicing. you made up a lie knowing that if the real reason came out, it would cause an entire commotion that they couldn’t afford to have at the moment. 

“oh, Hinata accidentally hurt his finger so I had to bandage him up,” you told Samson as he gave Hinata a look for confirmation. Hinata nodded, getting to his position and looking at Bokuto, who was still shook by the news you had said, “I’ll be in the club office getting their towels ready for later.” 

Samson yelled at everyone to start practicing again as he blew the whistle. 

a smirk was playing on your face as you knew what you had said had scared everyone to their core. a part of you did want to leave the team to see what Kodaira had to offer but you knew in your heart that you could actually never leave the team without feeling like the biggest piece of shit. 

a bit later, you heard Samson blow the whistle indicating that their fifteen minute break started. you pulled up Hoshiumi’s contact and called him knowing that one of either Bokuto or Hinata would come into the room to ask you about earlier. 

“hey! what’s up!” you said happily as you put him on speaker, “so, are you calling about Kageyama’s offer?” he asked excitedly. you rolled your eyes, seeing Hinata’s bright orange hair reflect on the glass in front of you. 

“um, I was wondering if we could all meet up? at least you and Kageyama that is. Ushijima still kind of scares me,” you giggled making Hoshiumi chuckle along with you, “of course! we’re going to be in Higashiosaka until Saturday. we can meet up on Friday if you’d like to talk!” he exclaimed. 

you saw Hinata’s scared expression through the glass and tried to hold in your laugh, “of course! I can take both of you to a restaurant that I always go to with the team,” you offered. you heard Hoshiumi’s excited yell, “I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m in the middle of a practice but I felt like it was rude to leave you and Kageyama hanging.” 

Hinata had heard enough. 

he ran out to where the team was, hoping that Samson wasn’t in the gym to hear what he was about to say. lucky enough, he wasn’t. 

“what are you so jumpy about now?” Sakusa asked him. Hinata glared at Sakusa, "I heard ( your name ) on the phone with Hoshiumi just now. she’s going to meet with him and Kageyama on Friday to talk about their offer to her,” he explained, his eyes never leaving the black haired boy. 

Bokuto, on one of his rare moments of anger, looked over to Sakusa and shook his head, “you couldn’t just tell her how you felt when the two of you were alone? your assumptions might’ve costed us one of our managers!” he yelled. 

Hinata and Atsumu remained quiet as Meian told everyone to drop the subject before you came out of the room to hear them talking about you. Atsumu walked over to Sakusa and leaned into his ear knowing that Sakusa hated being that close to anyone. 

“you could have just asked me and I would’ve told you the truth. we’re just friends and I would never actually make a move on her. you’re my friend and you’re practically in love with her.”

Atsumu shook his head once more disappointedly before going to the bench for a water break. 

Sakusa had felt the stares coming from his teammates as they all murmured to themselves to try and figure out a way to make you stay with the team. they all thought of you as their family and didn’t want another team to take you away from them. 

+

a few days had passed since that fateful argument with Sakusa. while you did keep in touch with Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto, they had yet to bring up what you had told them that day. 

the game against Schweiden came. you were getting ready in your apartment, blasting some music when you heard your phone going off. you looked down to see who it was and you were surprised to see that it was Kageyama of all people. 

“hey Tobio! what’s up?” you said. “Hoshiumi was wondering if we could give you a ride to the Jackals gym?” he asked, “you know, so it isn’t too weird tomorrow?” you could hear the awkwardness radiating through his voice as he tried to talk as casual as possible. 

“of course Kags. listen, we’ve been friends for years. why are you still so awkward with me?” he growled, calling you a baka before telling you he and Hoshiumi would be there soon, “goodbye Kags! see you in a bit!” 

just as you were about to put your phone down, you saw that Atsumu was calling you. 

“hey Miya, what’s going on!” you greet. you heard him and a few others in the car, hushing down, “do you need a ride to the gym? we’re passing your house on the way so we figured if you wanted, we could pick you up!” you looked down at yourself in the mirror knowing you could keep up your little charade of scaring Sakusa going even longer. 

“sorry, Hoshiumi and Kageyama are actually picking me up but I’ll see you at the gym! we need to go over a few things before the game starts.” 

Bokuto told you a hesitant goodbye as you hung up the phone. you could tell that you little plan was starting to affect Bokuto and the rest of the team. 

you heard the horn of whatever Hoshiumi was picking you up in. you quickly grabbed your apartment keys and your bag before running out the door. Hoshiumi had his head popped out of the car, waving at your like maniac. Kageyama on the other hand sighed in disappointment. 

“hey boys, how are you?” you asked them, jumping into the back seat. you hadn’t realized that Ushijima was in the back, quiet as ever. “oh, Ushiwaka, you’re here! I didn’t think you’d be accompanying them today.” you said, poking his side jokingly. 

he hummed, giving you a nod with a small blush spreading across his face. 

the entire time to the Jackals gym, Hoshiumi and Kageyama did most to the talking. most their talking consisting of the two arguing with each other as you and Ushijima talked quietly with each other. the entire time both of you talked, you hadn’t realized how cute Ushijima actually was. a bit stoic but regardless, you found his shy nature kind of adorable. 

the gym was already packed with fans entering through the front and side gates. you told the boys a quick goodbye, running to the Jackals employee entrance to meet up with Atsumu and Hinata. 

“hey, how was the ride with those losers?” Atsumu asked, poking fun at Kageyama and Hoshiumi, “it was fun. talked with Ushijima the entire time though. he’s actually more talkative than you think!” you exclaimed, the two of them noticing the small blush playing on your face. 

“wait! do you have a thing for Ushijima?” Atsumu asked, dragging you to the corner so Hinata wouldn’t hear. you shook your head, “no, I just think he’s cute. but you know....everything with Sakusa, I could never just leave him for Adler’s or Ushijima,” you replied, “no matter how shitty he treats me, I guess you could say I like Kiyo a lot.”  

Sakusa felt his heart drop hearing you confession. he really didn’t deserve you. after accusing of you of what he thought you did with Atsumu and then ultimately denying the offer from the Adler’s, he knew he owed you big time for it. 

you walked out of the locker room, Atsumu still poking fun at your confession for Sakusa. 

speaking of the devil himself, you saw Sakusa leaned up against the wall, hoping to catch your attention. you gave him a glance, not bothering to say anything to him but he caught your wrist, making Atsumu walk away semi awkwardly. 

“what do you want Sakusa?” you asked, giving him a dirty look. he sighed, rubbing his thumb across your palm, “I’m still really upset at you and you don’t deserve to talk to me right now,” you growled. 

he didn’t budge from letting you go and instead, placed a kiss on your forehead, feeling a bit awkward with giving you the kiss you deserved in the public. you sighed, not bothering to fight it anymore. 

“Sakusa, I like you, really do but what you said hurt me and you’re going to have to work hard to get me to trust you again.” 

Sakusa nodded understandingly. 

“and I’ll work as hard as I have to make you trust me again.” 

[plaidbooks]

Hi babes - a request that’s kind of specific- (readerxcarisi) this would take place in season 19, episode 8 where Rollins and Carisi are at the shitty motel and they have that moment. So the idea would be that reader is also a detective, maybe newer or something tagging along with them two and reader knows Carisi has a thing for Rollins and reader was with him when they saw the guy leaving Amanda’s room. Reader is there for him after and he realizes maybe he was chasing the wrong girl??

New Girl

A/N: Hey Anon! I had to rewatch this to do some of the dialogue from it (I condensed the first scene so it’s not incredibly long.) but it’s a good idea to rewtach this ep before reading....unless you remember that Heather was the catfisher and stuff. Anyways, this is a little longer cause t’s slower paced. I like the idea of being there for someone without needing to ask. Also yes, I’m taking the chance to flex some sports knowledge, sorry not sorry. Hope you enjoy <3

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Words: 2727

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles

“They traced the IP address to West Virginia,” Sonny said to Olivia, as they both came into the precinct.

“Good, get a John Doe warrant and send it to the local precinct,” Liv replied.

“Done and done.”

Liv gave him a smirk. “Then fill up your gas tank. Fin, you’re riding shotgun.”

“Oh, hell no; I’m allergic to West Virginia,” Fin said, leaning back in his chair.

Liv sighed. “Okay, Rollins, you’re up.”

“Really?” she whined.

Liv glanced between the two, already looking tired of this crap. “Come on, someone’s gotta translate for him,” she joked, gesturing at Sonny, who rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go,” you perked up. You were still the new kid, so you were jumping at every opportunity to go out in the field. Plus, you had a massive crush on Sonny, and being stuck in a car with him seemed like a good chance to learn more about him.

Liv gave you a relieved smile. “Thank you; at least someone here wants to work. But I’d also like someone with experience; Rollins, you’re going too.”

 ***************

The drive wasn’t awkward…at least, not for Sonny and Amanda. They’ve been partners for years now, chatting up a storm. You sat in the back seat, listening in on their stories, jumping in when appropriate, but otherwise fading into the leather behind you. This wasn’t what you had hoped for when you thought about going to West Virginia with Sonny, but at least you were getting some experience in the field…right?

The arrest was quick, painless. You actually found yourself feeling bad for Heather as you had her arrested in her mother’s home. But then you remembered what happened to Katie, and it solidified your resolve.

When Amanda suggested you three, and Chuck, the local officer, go to The Barrel—the local bar—for information, you’re first thought was that maybe alcohol would help you loosen up around Sonny. But after a few shots and a cocktail, all you saw was how he looked at Amanda, and you cursed yourself for not seeing it sooner. Why would he ever fall for someone like you when he could be with someone like her? And they were already so close; what was the point of trying?

Complaining about a headache, you excused yourself, telling them you’d see them in the morning.

“Want me to walk ya back to your room?” Sonny asked, looking concerned.

Your heart fluttered at the thought, but then you remembered the heart eyes he’d been giving Amanda all evening. “No, I’m fine. Thanks though.” You wandered back to the hotel across the parking lot, wiping the tears from your face, locking yourself in your room.

 ******************

You were in the hotel lobby making yourself coffee when Sonny came in.

“Morning, [y/n],” he said, smiling at you. “Feeling better today?”

You melted at his smile, tears threatening to form again, but you pushed down your feelings. “Uh, yeah, much better. How’d you sleep? Hopefully you and Rollins weren’t up too late.”

“Nah, it was fine. We may have started a bar fight, though,” Sonny grinned at you, and you giggled, trying to picture him fighting anyone. He went about making two coffees and grabbing an assortment of free breakfast foods. He put everything on a tray and you followed him out, heading towards Amanda’s room as he called Liv to give her an update. But you both froze as a man came out of Amanda’s room, both of them chatting for a moment before he left. And Sonny’s face fell as he turned and went towards his SUV instead.

You gave Amanda’s closed door one last look before you went after Sonny. He stopped at his SUV, putting the tray on top so that he could fish his keys out of his pocket. He sniffled and it was only then you realized he was crying.

“Hey, you okay?” you asked tentatively. But you knew the answer—of course you did. Because you had felt your heart shatter last night.

“Fine,” he grunted, opening the driver’s door and sliding in. This was sure to be a fun ride back to New York. Grabbing the tray he had left on the roof of his SUV, you climbed in behind the passenger seat.

You sat in silence for a few awkward moments before you said softly, “I’m so sorry, Sonny. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.”

 *****************

The ride back was worse, to say the least. The tension in the air was thick, not to mention, you sat in back with Heather, who seemed to be daydreaming about meeting The Monster. You found yourself watching Sonny, or at least, the half of his face that you could see. He was quiet, subdued; so unlike him, and you realized you hated it. You wanted him to be his laughing, jokey self. You tried asking him questions—and Amanda, so you weren’t too obvious—but he wasn’t all there, his mind somewhere far away. Eventually, you gave up. falling into the silence of the drive.

 *****************

Liv mercifully gave the three of you the rest of the day off after delivering Heather to the precinct. You were just debating what to do for dinner when there was a knock at your door. Curious, you unlocked it, opening it to see Sonny shuffling on his feet on your doorstep.

“Son?” you asked in confusion.

He gave you a nervous smile. “Hey, can I come in?”

“Uh, yeah. ‘Course.” You moved out of the way, letting him enter your brownstone.

You both stood there awkwardly before he asked, “have you had dinner yet? If not, I can maybe whip something up? Or I can order takeout?”

“I haven’t yet, no.” Now thoroughly confused, you shrugged, playing along. “Did you have something in mind? I was thinking of ordering a pizza or something….”

“Pizza sounds great. Here, I’ll order. You like pepperoni, right?”

 ******************

You both idly chatted while waiting for the pizza to arrive, the awkward tension still palpable. Sonny didn’t say why he came over and you didn’t ask. The delivery man showed up soon enough, and Sonny insisted that he pay, so you let him. You found some beers in your fridge, offering one to him, which he gratefully accepted. As you ate, you started talking more, just about where you were before transferring to Manhattan, why you decided to come here of all places. The tension in the air subsided, and slowly, Sonny started talking about himself; his family, his recent accomplishment at Fordham—you had started just after he had passed the bar exam, so you didn’t hear much about it—and how much he loved his job.

“So, now that you passed the bar, are you going to leave us for Barba?” you asked. Sonny cocked an eyebrow, a grin on his face. “Oh my god, that’s not what I meant, and you know it,” you giggled, your cheeks burning.

Sonny chuckled at the implication. “I—I don’t know yet. I really do love my job as a detective. But I always wanted to be a lawyer, ya know? And now I can be. But with Mike passing…it just doesn’t seem like the right time.” He took a sip of his beer. “Hey, maybe with you taking over, I’ll be able to. I’d feel less bad leaving the department behind; they won’t be as short-staffed.”

It hurt to think about Sonny leaving; you were just getting to know him. “I still got a long way to go, though. Liv wouldn’t even let me go with you to West Virginia alone. What was it she said? ‘I need someone experienced’ or some shit.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hey, I was in your shoes before, too. It’ll pass quicker than you can blink.” Sonny spun the bottle in his hands. “Besides, I almost wish it was just us, and that Rollins wasn’t…” he trailed off, his eyes staring at nothing.

You swallowed hard. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Hm? Nah…I mean, she’s my partner, yeah? I have her back, and I know she’s got mine…. We’re close and…yeah, I don’t know.” He looked everywhere but at you, a slight pink tint in his cheeks.

You nodded sympathetically. As much as you wanted him to like you, you just wanted him to be happy. And if she made him happy, then you’d have to live with that. “Being so close with someone for so long, it’s not shocking if feelings…developed. Have you talked to her about it at all?”

He shook his head. “Look, I appreciate you trying to help me with this, but can we stop talking about Rollins? Please?”

“Of course. Sorry…. I got ice cream, if you want some dessert?” you tried.

Sonny sat there for a moment, staring a hole into your floor. “You know what? I think I’m gonna get out of your hair.” He stood, stretching. “Thank you for letting me crash your night for a little bit.”

“You sure? You can stay as long as you need,” you replied, but he was already moving towards your front door, sliding his jacket on.

“Yeah, I’ve taken up enough of your time. See ya at work tomorrow.” And then he gave you that heart-melting smile before he was gone.

 ****************

Whether Fin or Liv could feel the tension in the precinct the next day, you weren’t sure. But Sonny had gone back to his nontalking self, sitting at his desk, working through Heather’s posts. At some point, Amanda invited him to lunch, but he declined. They had a few clipped, whispered words that you didn’t hear, but after she left, Sonny looked upset again.

Standing, you went to the coffee maker, making two cups—one for yourself and one for Sonny. You came back, placing it on his desk, within hands reach. He glanced up at you, and you gave him a soft smile before moving back to your desk, diving in on something to help Barba with his case against Heather.

After another half an hour, Sonny got up, coming over to your desk. “Wanna go grab lunch?”

You looked from him to the mountain of posts and pictures you still had to go through, then back at him. “Please,” you groaned, grabbing your jacket and following him out.

 ****************

For the next two weeks, you and Sonny would get lunch. Or, if it wasn’t possible to take lunch at the same time, you’d bring each other something, switching off each day. You both also seemed to know when the other ran out of coffee, placing a refill on one another’s desk just as you’d finish the last sip. Conversation started to flow easier between you two, and you found that you highly enjoyed just chatting with him. Every now and again, he’d come over to your place, and you’d just talk; mostly about work, sometimes about your families. You still had a crush on him, but you shoved it down, trying to not let it interfere with work, or with your new-found friendship. Though, you noticed with some glee that he no longer looked at Amanda with that sparkle in his eyes.

On Saturday night, Sonny showed up at your doorstep, a 12 pack in one hand, takeout in the other. “Are you not watching the hockey game tonight?” he asked, his Islanders sweater on proudly.

“I, uh, wasn’t planning on it?” you replied, confused. In all your talks, neither of you had mentioned sports, except that Sonny had played basketball as a kid.

“Pffttt. You are now,” he said, pushing into your place. You giggled, following him to your couch. Plopping down next to him, you grabbed a beer while he flipped through the stations until he found the game. He cheers’ed you, then you both took a sip, watching and yelling at the screen. It was hard not to get caught up in the excitement with him, even if you didn’t know all the rules, nor particularly cared about hockey. You just enjoyed spending time with him.

At some point during the first period, Sonny put his arm on the back of the couch, his legs spread. You never understood how someone so lanky could take up so much room, but it made you smile. He just looked so natural, so comfortable on your couch, and you loved it.

“Come on, Lehner! You gotta cover your 5-hole!” Sonny yelled at the screen, groaning as the Islanders let in a goal.

“Uh, explain that to me, please?” you asked, confused.

Sonny sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees, moving closer to you. “Okay, so, ya see how the goalie, Lehner, has his legs so spread? Well, when the Pens shoot, that’s where they aim, ‘cause it’s his weak-spot and they know it. He’s slow to get his glove there and it’s an easy goal.”

“So…the 5-hole is between the legs?” you guessed.

“Exactly; see? You’re a quick learner,” Sonny smiled at you as the game cut to commercial.

You grinned back. “Well, I have a good teacher.”

Sonny’s eyes lit up with an idea. He put his beer down, then turned to face you. “Here, stand.” You cocked an eyebrow at him but obeyed. “Put your arms out and spread your legs…not that far; be comfortable. Okay, so, right here,” –he put his hand to the left side of your face, above your arm— “is the 1-hole. The opposite side here, that’s the 2-hole. Then here,” –he went back to your left side, under your arm this time— “is the 3-hole, and—”

“The opposite is the 4, and between the legs is 5?” you finished.

That lopsided grin was back. “Exactly.” He looked at the screen as the commercials ended. “Ooh, game’s back, here.” Sonny’s hands went to your hips, sending electricity through you. He dragged you back onto the couch next to him, your leg touching his, and his arm around your shoulders. You couldn’t pay attention to the game as your whole body heated, a stupid grin on your face from the closeness. At some point, you relaxed against him, snuggling into his side. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything. In fact, quite the opposite—when he wasn’t groaning or gesturing at the screen, he had his arm around you, holding you to him.

Once the game was over, Sonny helped you clean up. “Thanks for letting me crash your night again,” he said—the same thing he said every night when he showed up unannounced.

“Anytime,” you replied. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

“Sober as a fox,” he smiled.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that even a saying?”

“It is now,” he declared, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Really though; I’m fine. Thank you for worrying.”

You walked him to the door, holding it open for him. Sonny stopped just outside your place, turning back around to look at you. “Text me when you get home, so I know you’re safe,” you said softly.

“Okay, I will…. I, uh, wanted to thank you. Not just for tonight, but for every night…and lunches, and coffees, and just—letting me be me for a little.” He gave you the sweetest smile, and you thought your chest was going to burst.

“Yeah, anytime, Sonny. I want you to feel…safe with me,” you replied.

“I do…I really do.”

You were leaning against your doorframe, and he had one hand on the wall next to it, leaning against it. Slowly, he leaned forward, his face getting closer to yours. Swallowing, and praying you weren’t misinterpreting, you leaned in, too, until your lips met in a soft, chaste kiss. Sonny’s mouth was gentle against yours, his lips smooth, and you stood up on your tiptoes, pressing yourself harder against him, afraid that he’d realize what was happening and that he’d pull away, disgusted. And though he did pull away, his eyes were still closed in bliss, a small smile on his face, one that slowly grew the longer you looked, making your own smile appear.

“You sure you don’t want to stay the night?” you asked, your voice hopeful.

Sonny looked deeply into your eyes, then to your lips, then back to your eyes. “Well, if you insist, maybe I can be persuaded to crash your night a little longer.”

[inkandpen22]

Shared Minds and Shared Souls (10/?)

Pairing: Spike x Female!Reader 

Warnings: mentions of death, angst, fluff 

Word Count: 1.8k

Part Summary: Y/N and Spike are in New Orleans after the magic has turned Y/N dark. Spike is doing everything he can to fix her and Y/N is reluctant to return to normal. 

A/N: sorry for the delay! Thank you for being so patient and supportive! I appreciate all of you! X

Masterlist

New Orleans was the first place to pop into my head after Spike took my hand. When he returned to Sunnydale and told me of his search for a solution in New Orleans, it piqued my interest.

We've been here for a day now.  This city is everything I dreamed of and more. There's a lot of pent-up energy here, it's practically overflowing.  

"We have to go back Love," Spike declares from the armchair.

I stroll back into the hotel room from the balcony. Spike's been acting melancholy since we poofed from Sunnydale. This was supposed to be a vacation for us, a getaway.

"We could, but I don't feel like it," I shrug, sliding over the arm into the chair opposite of him.

"Will has been touched by dark magic before too, she can help you," he relays with a worried expression plaguing his features.

I've tried keeping my cool, but if he keeps playing Dr. Phil I'm going to poof him to the middle of the Sahara!

"This isn't dark magic, Spike!" I snap, rising to my feet in a smooth glide. "This is something greater! It's electric! It's more powerful!"

I reveal the charge waves traveling between my fingers. The energy is always there. I just tuck it away from time to time. One wrong move and I shock him a bit back into place.

Spike leaps up from his chair furiously. "You hate power, remember! You wish you were human, ordinary!"

"I was stupid, naive then," I laugh, returning to the balcony.

"I told you I was going to find a way to bring you back. I have," Spike announces from behind me. "There's a shaman in the Quarter."

"Aw," I pout while I spin to face him. Bringing my hands to his chest, I linger inches from his lips. "You don't like me this way, Baby?"

He clenches his jaw, peering down at me in disgust. "No, I don't because this isn't Y/N. It's a version of her, but not the real deal."

I slip my hand over the back of his neck to lower his lips to mine. They brush against each other and smile. Abruptly, Spike shoves me in the chest, making me slam into the iron rail of the balcony.

I chuckle wickedly, "you tease me."

"You know we can't until you're straightened out," he states sternly, heading back inside through the old double-doors. "He'll be here tomorrow to make you right," he informs me, referring to the shaman.

"You sure have a lot of faith in this man," I snicker mockingly as I follow him.

"He's a friend of a friend," Spike explains with a sigh as he eases back into his chair. "He's been practicing since before you were born."

Tilting my head to the side, I go to kneel between Spike's legs. "Oh, so you think that makes him more powerful than me?"

The back of his hand brushes across my cheek lovingly. He searches my face as though I'm a stranger and he's struggling to recognize it.

"No, but he probably knows more," he mutters, hopeful.

I kiss his hand and crawl to sit in his lap. He holds his arms out not to touch me. I wrap my fingers around his wrists to force his arms around my waist.

"I've never liked shamen. They're so... plain. Where's the spice you know?!" I express dramatically. "I mean unless we're talking real down and dirty voodoo. I could jump on that bandwagon," I purr into his ear.

Spike pushes me off of him, making me fall to the floor on my ass with a thud. He towers above me like a mad parent.

"Am I going to have to tie you to the bloody chair again?!" He reprimands.

"Sounds fun," I giggle wickedly, relaxing on the floor. "But you know I can get out of it."

"You need to get some rest, you haven't slept," he advises.

Rolling my eyes, I stand and disinterestedly wander back to the balcony as the sun is about to set.

"I'm not tired," I mumble over my shoulder.

Spike marches up behind me and tugs on my shoulder.

"Ouch!" I huff.

"That's the magic playing with your system. It's going to run you ragged!" He barks.

I get in his face, unfazed, "let it."

He grips my arms pleadingly and shakes me like a jolt. "No, Y/N! I need you to fight this for fuck's sake! Snap out of it!"

"If I died do you think we'd find each other in Hell?" I giggle, bringing my hand to his cheek.

He releases me solemnly, shuffling away with a sigh. "I'm going to the fire pit, Love. You're going to the clouds," he whispers.

"Even like this," I gesture to myself

His eyes that I once loved-still do- meet mine sharply. His jaw clenched with emotion. "I rather burn for your wrongdoings than see you suffer for them."

I approach Spike slowly as I glimmer of something in his ocean blue eyes. I laugh breathlessly, what is this? I suspect a vision, but I'm not in his head. How is this possible?

"I can see it," I whisper under my breath so softly it nearly slips by in the breeze outside. My fingers graze across his cheekbone beneath his eye.

Spike frowns, bringing his hand around the back of my neck. "What's that Love?"

"I can see it in your eyes. It dances behind them," I describe vaguely as I become mesmerized by the image. "I don't even have to enter your mind anymore."

He perks up, "you see something? A vision?"

I hum, watching the vision repeat over and over again. "Like a flicker. A scene repeating."  

I'm going crazy aren't I? Truthfully, bonkers if I can see visions just by looking into someone's eyes.

"What do you see?" Spike questions as his hands fall to my waist comfortingly.

"I'm going to say it first," I mutter.

"What?"

"How about that..." I snicker lightly in disbelief.

"Say what? What are you talking about?!" He squeezes his grip, trying to pry information from me.

I can't snap out of this daze, this beautiful fog. I may want to stay here forever rewatching the vision.

The vision alters. It becomes longer and more detail, as if I've crossed a threshold, opened a door to reveal more.

"Why are you hurt?" My voice shakes.

His eyes widen in horror at my words and he rushes me to lay down in bed.

"Hurt? I'm not, are you?" He kneels beside the bed and checks my body frantically.

I stop him, tucking my fingers under his chin so he'll look at me.

"I'll take care of you. I promise. You'll see," I tell him as he lifts the comforter over me.

"Okay, go to bed, Love," Spike instructs as he sits on the edge of the bed.

He brushes my hair back from my face and plants a kiss on my forehead. My eyes fall shut as he combs his fingers through my hair.

"I'll find you," I whisper as I fall asleep peacefully.

_______________________________ "Y/N..." A female voice wakes me.

I groan, rubbing my eyes as I prop myself up on my elbow. Spike's arm draped over my waist is like a weight keeping me in bed. He remains fast asleep as I scan the room. Then, I spot Joyce in the corner by the door leading out into the hallway.

"Joyce?" I yawn. "How'd you find us?"

"I have my ways," she smiles kindly.

I sit up fully and Spike flips onto his other side to face the opposite way.

"Well, I'm not coming back," I tell my aunt sternly.

Her face falls with a sigh of disappointment.

"They need you, now more than ever," she informs. "Buffy's been trying to reach you."

Spike stirs next to me but remains asleep.

"She doesn't have this place's number," I tell my aunt.

"You need to contact her," she repeats urgently.

"She was going to separate Spike and me! I can't let that happen," I snap, placing my hand on his shoulder next to me.

"She won't do that if you bring yourself back to your normal self!" She reasons. "Reject the magic!"

"I can't," I shake my head repeatedly. "I don't know how to!"

"Yes you do, you always have," she encourages, giving me a knowing look only a mother can give.

I swallow hard, she's right, I do. I just didn't want to accept it as the only solution because it means more suffering on my part.

"A kick," I admit reluctantly.

She nods gently, "and you know how to initiate a kick."

"A shock, sudden pain," I recite what I've learned from years of visions. "But I can't take in any more!"

"You're stronger than you think," Joyce reaches her arms out to me.

"What if it's easier to stay this way? It brings less pain," my voice cracks.

"It is easier, but are you truly happy? You'll never be with Spike..." Her eyes flicker over to the vampire who starts to rise up from the bed.

He groans sleepily and brings his arm around me.

"Who are you talking to, Love?" He yawns.

"Joyce," I reply obviously.

"Who?" He frowns in confusion.

"Joyce obviously, she's right over there. She found us," I point over to the corner.

He switches his sight between me and the dark corner. "Y/N, Baby, there's no one there..."

"What do you-" I process his words as I turn back to the corner only to find no one there. "No..." I climb out of bed and hurry to the spot, falling to my knees. "No! No! No!" My hands run over the floor and Spike kneels beside me.

I wail, "no please, don't do this! You can't do this! It isn't fair!"

"What is it? What's wrong?" He pulls me into his chest.

"Make it stop!" I beg at the top of my lungs.

The pain in my chest becomes overwhelming. It's the kick, the suppressed emotions from the last day that the dark magic tucked away returns to me. I feel myself again, fully aware and present. The pain I've caused, the guilt, the self-loathing, it all rushes at me. Joyce did this on purpose. She brought me back. She knew this would hurt enough to revive me.

"Please make it stop! I can't!" I weep.

"Tell me, Baby! What's happening?!" He forces me to look at him, cupping my face.

"It's Joyce... I saw... saw her" I stammer as I pull at the roots of my hair. "... if I saw her and you didn't... she's... she's..."

"Dead," Spike finishes in a whisper of disbelief. He kisses the top of my head and embraces me tighter. "It'll be okay, Love. I promise. I'll get you through this."

__________________________________ 

Masterlist

Tags: @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @hexmancia @mx-pibbles @setsuna-meiou31

[25yearsofcrying]

Julie and the Phantoms

Summary: Trying my own hand at JATP novelization, using the show rather than the novel or the scripts. I’m sure it’s been done before but there’s never enough Julie and the Phantoms, right? If nothing else, I have an excuse to rewatch every single scene of the show all over again.

CHAPTER 01: we don’t get older 

Luke

This is what I’m talking about! The lights we are under are burning hot, we are half sweat and not one of us can keep a single hair in place but we’ve never sounded better. We’re amazing, playing on a proper stage. Our music and lyrics have never felt more true either.

Don't look down | 'Cause we're still rising | Up right now | And even if we | Hit the ground | We'll still fly | Keep dreaming like we'll live forever | But live it like it's now or never

I feel connected. To the guitar in my hands, to the guys in my band, to the music, to the audience.

Tonight, we’re playing the Orpheum. The energy of the place, or perhaps our own excitement, pushes our performance beyond what we’ve ever done before. Despite the sweat we’re drenched in, I feel I could do this for hours.

We ain't searching for tomorrow (tomorrow) | 'Cause we got all we need today (today) | Living on a feeling that's been running through our veins | We're the revolution that's been singing in the rain

But our song wraps up. We finish to a brief applause from the waitress cleaning tables and a few shouts from the Orpheum’s staff and our crew. Tonight, we are playing a sold out concert at the Orpheum, but that’s in two hours.

Reggie, our bass player, still pulls his mike closer and says: “Thank you! We’re Sunset Curve! Tell your friends!” He winks.

I laugh and shake my head. Bobby, the rhythmic guitar, knocks his elbow against mine before we grab our drinks. “Too bad we’ve wasted that on a sound check,” he says. “That’s the tightest we’ve ever played.”

“Wait until tonight, man,” I assure him as I turn to look over the Orpheum. “When this place gets packed with record execs.” This truly feels like the beginning of something new. It’s like I can feel the energy of everyone who’s ever played here before us and I’m living for it. This place makes legends.

Meanwhile, Reggie the eternal cheerleader, focuses his attention on our drummer. “Alex, you were smoking!” he shouts with a bright grin.

Alex, who’s emerged from behind the drums, looks humble and flustered for a moment. He instantly tries to play the compliment down. “Oh no! I was just warming up. You guys were the ones on fire.”

“Could you accept your awesomeness for once?” Reggie doesn’t give up.

“All right,” Alex agrees, red and shy but obviously pleased with himself. “I was killing it.”

It makes me grin and I rub his shoulders in excitement. Despite his insecurities, Alex really was killing it. As always. He might be one of my closest friends, but he wouldn’t be in the band if he wasn’t good. Trust me. I don’t make compromises when it comes to my music.

My names is Luke. Reggie, Alex and Bobby are my bandmates of several years and together we are Sunset Curve. And tonight, we’re going to prove why we live and breathe for music.

But first things first. “I’m thinking we fuel up before the show,” I say. I don’t know about the guys, but I’m starving. “I’m thinking street dogs.”

While Alex and Reggie answer with a chorus of approval, Bobby turns his attention elsewhere. He gets off the stage and heads straight for the waitress who’s showed her appreciation for our music.

“I’m good,” he tells us over his shoulder and to her, he says: “Vegetarian. I couldn’t hurt an animal.”

I roll my eyes but we are all drawn to the conversation. And the waitress – a very pretty Latina – turns to all of us. “You guys were really good,” she says and I beam at her.

“Thank you.” It’s always a wonderful feeling to see people connect with our music. We write all of it ourselves so up on that stage, people see and hear our souls.

“I see a lot of bands. Been in a few myself,” she continues and that makes her initial compliment all the better. “I was really feeling it.”

“That’s what we do this for. I’m Luke, by the way,” I say and the guys all introduce themselves. Bobby shoves himself in front of me when he says his name and I shove my finger in his ear. What can I say? We are brothers, even if not by blood.

“I’m Rose,” she replies, grinning at us.

She must be a little older than us, but even that doesn’t stop Reggie when his eyes light up as he senses an opportunity to promote the band. “Here is our demo…” He hands her a CD with our logo on it. “And a T-shirt. Size beautiful.” He adds a wink again. An opportunity to promote us and to flirt. Beside him, Alex groans audibly.

“Thanks?” Rose seems unimpressed but she adds: “I’ll have to make sure to not wipe the tables with this one.”

To the surprise of no one, words a little too honest tumble out of Alex’s mouth: “Oh, good call. Whenever they get wet, they just kinda fall apart in your hands.” He is not wrong. Our merch is produced on a budget.

Sensing that my awesomeness, Reggie’s forwardness and Alex’s lack of interest are ruining his game, Bobby turns to us with a pointed glare. “Don’t you guys have to go get your hot dogs?”

“Yeah.” I lean to the waitress with a conspiratorial smirk. “He had a burger for lunch.” I’m not trying to wreck things for him, just tease him a little. I don’t think he stands a chance to begin with, but it’s admirable he is trying.

With good-natured slaps to his shoulder, we leave Bobby to his flirting.

jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp  jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp jatp  jatp jatp 

We leave the Orpheum through a back door and I take a deep breath. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

The last time I felt this level of excitement was before our first ever real gig.

Alex throws me a questioning look: “The smell of Sunset Boulevard?” It makes Reggie snort and I shake my head.

“No. It’s what that girl said in there tonight. About our music, all right?” Her words affected me. Not just because she thought we were good when she’s already seen so many other bands and it would take a lot to stand out in her ears. She felt our music. “It’s like energy. Connects us with people. They can feel us when we play.” I throw my arms around Alex and Reggie both and pull them closer. We’ve always had a connection, ever since we’ve started playing together. “I want that connection with everybody.”

They laugh, but I can see that they get it. Even if Reggie replies: “Then we’re gonna need more T-shirts.”

I can’t remember when Reggie became our dedicated promoter, but it’s a role he takes extremely seriously, which makes me think it must have been his idea in the first place. I am more focused on the music itself, on what it feels like to be on stage and play for a crowd that sings back the lyrics I wrote. And Alex, if we let him, would be perfectly content to play for himself in a garage somewhere, even if he clearly enjoys people loving his performances. Reggie is the one with the business sense. He claims that if we want to play in front of crowds, we need to let people know we exist. It hurts me to think our music on its own is not enough, but perhaps he has a point.

He shoves next few T-shirts into the hands of girls waiting in line for our concert. Their excited reaction and their instant recognition of us makes us all giddy, but I pull my hood over my head. No matter what anyone thinks, I don’t do this to be followed around by fangirls. It’s nice, sure, and one of the perks, but it’s when I am on stage that I want attention. Right now, I just want a street dog.

Though, I can’t help but think that Bobby is missing out by staying behind.

Establishments like Sam n’ Ella’s, which serves hot dogs from the back of a rusted car, are our main source of food these days. Most of our money goes into the equipment, transportation between gigs, creation of demos and merch. Between us, there’s not a single set of supportive parents and so the funds are tight to begin with. One’d think we’d be used to our food options by now, but Alex still frowns. “Man… I can’t wait until we eat someplace where the condiments aren’t served out of the back of an Oldsmobile.” We fill our hot dogs ourselves and he is dripping pickle juice all over the car’s insides as he speaks. He goes to apologize to the owner, but the man dismisses Alex’s fears with a laugh. “No problem, it’ll help with the rust!”

I can’t bring myself to care about the quality of food. My heart is still at the Orpheum. It doesn’t matter that we’re sitting on a questionable couch in the street and eating even more questionable hot dogs. “This is awesome, you guys. We’re playing the Orpheum. I can’t even count how many bands have played here and then ended up being huge. We’re gonna be legends!” I rise my street dog like it’s a toast. “Eat up boys. Cause after tonight, everything changes.” We won’t have to choose between food and paying for merch production anymore.

I take a bite and almost shudder. Any food is good enough for Reggie, so he eats his hot dog with gusto, but Alex pulls a face when he tastes his. “That’s a new flavor?”

“Chill, man. Street dogs haven’t killed us yet.”

Trust Reggie to provide the perfect last words.

[firemblem-fics]

Smitten Kitten [4]

one | two | three | four | finale

-> Pairing: Felix x Female!Reader | Hybrid!AU (mostly platonic idk)

-> Word Count: 1.2k

-> Genre: Mostly Angst

-> Warnings: HUGE TW - this chapter contains scenes of animal/human abuse. Do not read this chapter if you are easily triggered by these themes. Also cursing

-> Summary: You never wanted to be involved with hybrids. They were risky and had too many rules for you. But what will you do when a little black and white cat that you take in turns out to be the very thing you steered clear of?

-> A/N: I do apologize for this chapter being short and violent and whatever. It’s kind of just a filler chapter because I would like to have the resolution as a chapter itself lol

Hell.

Life without Felix was practically Hell.

In the two months that Felix had lived with you, you had become completely used to having another body in your house. Without him, it was extremely lonely. You often believed that you could revel in the quietness of your apartment, needing nobody but yourself to keep you company.

How wrong you were.

The silence was practically unbearable now. Even if Felix wasn't the most talkative of the bunch, simply having a roommate was enough for you. You learned to never take things for granted- especially someone like Felix.

The tuxedo cat hybrid messaged you as much as he could, compiling stories of activities that Doug and Karen made him partake in. They spanned from 14 hour work days practicing for different Hybrid Shows (Karen was quite the fanatic for Fodlan's Finest Pets) to up to three days locked in his room because he was rude to them.

The days where he had to hide his phone and refrain from messaging you were the worst. Like today.

You paced around Ashe's living room, practically burning a path into his rug as you trudged for hours, checking your phone in case.

"Y/N, I'm begging you. Sit the hell down."

This was the third time Ashe tried to ask you to sit. Your nervousness was definitely affecting everyone else, as seen by Sylvain, whose tail hadn't wagged during the entire hour that you were over.

"I can't Ashe, what if I get distracted and he messages and needs me? If it's an emergency-"

"Please, dear God, he's been gone for a week and a half. He's a big boy, too. Definitely capable of taking care of himself."

"But did you see him when they left! How he looked? It- it was awful. Sad. Whatever they did to Felix isn't just something to brush off. He didn't even try to argue with them- Felix always argues!" You spat. You felt a little bad for being so angry, but this was your friend, goddamnit.

Suddenly, your phone screen lit up and a notification sound rang through the apartment. You practically launched the phone out of your hands with how quickly you lifted it up, checking your messages.

"He sent a video."

"What does it say?"

"There's no other message. Just the video."

The screen was black. Your fingers shook as you pressed the play button. The first thing you heard was Karen's voice, the shrill soprano of her tone nearly breaking your eardrums.

"Felix, this is the third time today. Get the fuck out of the bathroom."

The camera then showed a bathroom and shakily pointed to the door, where the knob was wiggling violently.

"Fuck off!" Felix exclaimed just as loudly. Your heart lurched at the sound of his voice. He sounded okay.

"Felix, I'm not doing this anymore. Come out before I have to force my way in."

The camera flipped, now showing Felix. You gasped.

His hair was down from its usual ponytail, the strands framing his face messily. He always wore a frown, but this one seemed to etch deeper into his face. The real eyesore of it all was... well, the literal eye sore.

A giant bruise was blossoming beneath his eye, spreading down quite a ways away from the eye itself and onto his prominent cheekbone. He didn't seem to fret over it, of course, but you certainly were.

"If you're not doing this anymore, I should just go back to Y/N's-"

"Don't you EVER talk about her again, do you hear me Felix Hugo?" The door rattled again. "She's not getting you back. You belong to us and it's about time you act like it."

Felix rolled his eyes. "Really now? We'll see about that soon." He murmured. He stood up and turned the camera back towards the door, slowly walking up to it and unlocking it.

As he finally began to open the door himself, it swung open with the force of at least a hundred Karens. The video got a good view of her face before she noticed, screamed at him to turn it off, and lifted her hand. A loud smack resounded through the speakers before you saw the phone clatter to the floor and the recording shut off.

You finally looked up at Ashe, who was already looking at you. "Do you think this is evidence enough to get him back?"

He looked even more troubled than you, glancing over to Sylvain. You couldn't imagine how Sylvain may be feeling at the moment- he came from a similar situation, except with breeding instead of pageants.

"It's got her face in it and Felix has a visible wound. I think it's good."

You nodded and grabbed your bag, wordlessly leaving to Madame's. Ashe and Sylvain scurried behind you, not that you noticed. You were too focused on getting your Felix back.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

"We'll see about that soon."

You turned away from your phone at the next part, not wanting to rewatch your beloved hybrid get hit.

Nancy held onto your phone, watching the screen rather intently for someone who didn't give two shits about Felix. Ashe held his hand on the small of your back, giving it a few comforting rubs to calm your nerves. Finally, the video ended and she handed you back your phone.

"I just wanted to show you this and the other messages and videos as evidence that Felix is being abused by his owners. I know you hate him but he deserves a good life and-"

Nancy held up a hand. "Felix is the biggest asshole I have ever met. I may not like him, but animal abuse is still abuse."

"He's not an animal."

"Hybrids are animals, sweetie. Get over it." She smacked her gum and picked up a phone. "I'm going to call them down to the facility and while we wait, you are going to show Hybrid Protection Services those videos. They will deal with the rest and hopefully by tomorrow you will have complete custody over Felix."

You could only smile at Nancy. Yeah, she was a wack-ass bitch, but at least she was helping you. You just prayed that you would never see her again after this all was over.

After a few minutes, two HPS officers came through the front doors of the Facility, making a small bell ring to signal their entrance. Nancy kindly tells the officers of the situation and twirls her hair, batting her eyelashes at one man you could only describe as long, tan, and handsome. Too bad that wasn't your type.

Your type was average height, pale, red eyes, asshole- wait. No. They were talking to you. Oh, they wanted to see the phone. Oopsies.

Once more, you distracted yourself by picking at the sleeves of your sweater to avoid listening to the videos again. The HPS officers nodded and stepped off to the side with your phone and a notepad, figuring out what to do.

Soon, the bell rang once more and you turned your head, finally making eye contact with those red eyes that you'd been longing to see for weeks.

[dreamofragtime]

Omg so this finally happened 😭❤️ I think the gifset of the bus scene was the first one I saw of them years ago and I thought I was prepared for this but I absolutely wasn’t. I could talk about this for days I think but I just need to point out a few things. First of all the “I’m leaving tomorrow morning” sequence I think it’s something I’m not going to forget for the rest of my life...the look on their faces, the pain in Jean’s voice, that moment she seems to pause on her way out and Lucien’s petrified reaction. Second, when she leaves the house... well that really broke my heart. He tries to stop her but still he can’t say the words and she doesn’t like the scones and then they still don’t say “goodbye”. Third the glorious moment in which Lucien (aka “the preoccupied man”) bakes scones for Jean “I’m just the housekeeper” Beazley. I mean, he BAKED the scones for HER and if this isn’t sweet and romantic I don’t know what it is. Fifth, Lucien finally solving his mother’s murder, the scene with Doug “I loved her” was just great. And then yes finally THE final scene(preceded by Mattie trying to reassure Jean that Lucien would have been there with tears in her eyes) Jean still hoping against hope that he would be there, but then the world comes crushing down on her again because it’s not “him”. She finally sits on the bus which is going to take her away from him but it stops and there he is and in less than 10 words they deliver such a masterpiece I had to rewatch it at least 10 times ❤️

[dirtykpopsnaps]

Watching Dramas- Cha Eunwoo

Warnings: Slight spoilers for True Beauty

Contains: JinJin’s sister, Y/N, and why she doesn’t watch Astro’s kdramas

Requested: no

Words: 2, 055

A/N: Okay, this fic doesn’t really relate to Eunwoo much, but it also kind of does, so??🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

———————————————————————

Outside the shop window, the street is filled with people underneath umbrellas. Large drops of rain splatter the window and blur the street outside. Inside the shop, everything is nice and warm. Customers chatter happily with their friends, talking about millions of different things. “Are you serious?! You haven’t seen it? I thought everyone had at this point!” Across the table, my best friend, Hayoon, is talking animatedly. I laugh lightly, shaking my head.

“I don’t watch any of their dramas,” I tell her honestly. Immediately, Hayoon’s jaw drops open.

“None of them?! You know these people and you don’t watch their dramas?!” She asks in shock. I smile softly and laugh again.

“I see enough of them on a day-to-day basis. I don’t need to see them in my dramas, too,” I giggle.

Right now, Hayoon is talking to me about this new drama, True Beauty. She’s absolutely obsessed with it and has been following it since it aired. I listen to her talk about it, but I know that I won’t be watching it myself. Although it sounds like a nice story, the drama has one cast member that I refuse to watch...Cha Eunwoo. Also known as my brother, JinJin’s, group mate. Ever since JinJin joined Astro, I haven’t watched any of the dramas that the members star in. As you just saw, Hayoon is definitely surprised that I don’t want their dramas.

Across the table, Hayoon rolls her eyes. “Why not?,” she whines, “It’s so good!”

“I’m sure it’s a good drama, but I don’t watch them,” I say plainly, shrugging my shoulders.

“But why?! Just because you know them?” She pouts.

“Well, I kind of have a bad habit of ‘falling in love’ with characters from my dramas and stuff. I don’t wanna put myself in the situation where that character could be played by someone I know,” I shrug lightly. Hayoon sighs at me, shaking her head. “Besides, it’s weird to see them like that,”

I say, scrunching up my nose.

“But...the shows are so good!” She pouts. I nod my head lightly.

“I know they are. I just have trouble watching these guys that I know, act. I mean, I used to love watching Boys Over Flowers. It was one of my favorite dramas. I thought the little F4 were so cute. And then JinJin joined Astro, I rewatched Boys over Flowers, recognized little Moonbin and it all just went downhill from there,” I giggle. Hayoon’s jaw falls open and she stares at me.

“Do you have a crush on Moonbin?!” She asks in shock.

“Oh, God, no. I meant that all I could see was my friend as a little kid and it kinda ruined the separation between the character and actor,” I explain.

Hayoon and I talk between ourselves, picking lightly at the food we had ordered. Even as we’re finishing, Hayoon still hasn’t dropped the subject of True Beauty. “Well, I don’t care. I want you to watch it with me at the sleepover tonight,” she says.

“Hayoon, no, no. I really don’t want to,” I protest, trying to reason with her.

“No, we’re watching it. It’ll be your introduction to Eunwoo’s acting,” she smiles. I sigh defeatedly, resting my head in my hand.

“Fine, I’ll watch it. But, it’s gonna be weird,” I mumble in annoyance. Hayoon squeals loudly, doing a little dance across the table.

“You’ll love it!” She smiles, getting up and starting to throw our trash out. I help her clean up and we grab our umbrellas before leaving the shop.

Quickly, Hayoon and I make our way through the streets back to her apartment. The rain splatters loudly on our umbrellas, falling down in pools around us. By the time we get back to her apartment, my shoes are absolutely soaked. I groan in annoyance and take them off, trying to find a dry spot by the door. Hayoon opens up the door and we both head inside. For most of the night, we just goof around and talk. We watch some videos on YouTube and even some kpop game videos, like ‘Save One Drop One’ and ‘Kpop Dating Game’. It’s just a fun little sleepover.

About an hour or two before we decide to go to sleep, Hayoon shoots me a look. “Time for True Beauty,” she giggles, grabbing her laptop. Instead of watching it on TV, Hayoon decided that we should start from the first episode and watch on Viki. She opens up the site and signs in, humming happily. Once she’s on the site, she finds True Beauty very quickly and clicks on the first episode.

For the most part, the show is actually very good. It’s an interesting story and Hayoon and I keep stopping the episode to talk to one another. About halfway through the episode, Jugyeong is standing at the edge of a building. I stare at the laptop with wide eyes, not able to tear my eyes away in case I miss anything. Suddenly, someone comes onto the roof of the building and pulls her off the edge. All you can see is the outline of a guy, but I make a guess and laugh, covering my eyes. Hayoon sighs in annoyance and stops the episode. “Really, Y/N? You’re gonna miss it!” She whines.

“It’s Eunwoo! I don’t wanna watch it,” I laugh. Hayoon pulls at my hands, trying to force them away from my eyes. Finally, she just sighs and lets the episode play again. I listen instead of watching the parts with Eunwoo.

When the scene seems to have passed, I look through my fingers. “Is he gone?” I ask, watching the laptop again. Hayoon sighs, nodding her head.

“Yeah, Suho is gone,” she sighs, resting her face in her hand. I giggle at her and continue watching the show. As we watch, I realize that I like the show a lot. Just as the show is ending, I’m actually able to watch a scene with Eunwoo without feeling like cringing internally. As the credits roll, Hayoon smiles happily and pats me on the back. “See?! Eunwoo is a good actor!” She squeals. I nod my head lightly.

“That was a pretty good show. I’ll need to keep up with it,” I smile. Hayoon squeals again, throwing her first in the air.

“Yes, success!” She says.

Looking back at her laptop, Hayoon sighs. “We should go to sleep, it’s late,” she says. I yawn loudly, agreeing with her.

“That’s probably a good idea. I’ll need to go to the studio tomorrow and work,” I say, grabbing some blankets and pillows. Hayoon flashes me a throwing smile.

“The studio? As in...,” she starts. I roll my eyes at me, hitting her with the pillow.

“Yes, as in with Astro. I always sit in on their practices,” I remind her. Hayoon giggles loudly.

“Tell Eunwoo that he’s hot,” she laugh. I roll my eyes, hitting her harder with the pillow.

“Oh, shut up. I will tell him no such thing,” I groan, laying down and covering myself with the pillow. A short silence follows.

“Then...maybe tell Moonbin,” Hayoon says, bursting into a fit of giggles again. I groan, covering my ears.

“Stop talking about my brother’s group mates like that,” I whine, holding back my laughter.

—————————

In the morning, I’m woken up by a loud ringing nearby. I groan, rubbing my eyes and grope around for the source of the noise. Finally, I pick my phone off the floor and answer it without checking who it is. “Hmm?” I mumble sleepily.

“Did you just wake up, Y/N?” JinJin’s voice asks. I sigh lightly, pressing the phone closer to my ear.

“Yeah, Jin, you woke me up,” I say. He sighs at me and I hear a rustling as he adjusts the phone.

“We’ll be at the practice studio, okay?” He questions.

“Alright. I’ll get there soon,” I say. JinJin ends the call and I sigh, throwing the blankets off my body. Next to me, Hayoon rubs her eyes sleepily.

“Was that JinJin?” She asks. I nod my head lightly, grabbing the bag of clothes that I brought here before we went out to eat yesterday.

“Yeah, it was. He was just telling me that they’re heading to the studio,” I say, pulling out some random clothes and gathering them in my arms.

When I have all of my clothes, I press the bag against the wall again. I walk into the bathroom and quickly change, checking my hair in the mirror. When I come out, Hayoon is in the kitchen, looking around for some breakfast. “Do you want something before you go?” She asks, looking over her shoulder at me. I shake my head lightly.

“No. I’ll probably get food for them on the way to the studio. They almost never eat before practice,” I tell her. Hayoon smiles and pulls me into a tight hug. I hug her back and grab my bag, waving goodbye before I head out the door.

On the way to the studio, I stop by a street vendor and order some street toast. The vendor gives me a very strange look when I order 7 of the same item, but he finally just hands me the toast. I give him some money and thank him before making my way to the studio. Every once in a while, someone will stare at me as I carry all the food, but no one really talks to me. I’m able to make my way to the studio without much problem.

When I finally get to the building, I head inside and the receptionist points me to the right practice room. Everyone in the building basically knows me, so they always help me whenever I come in. I walk down the hall of practice rooms and step into the room where Astro is practicing. Thankfully, everyone is already on break, so I just walk in and set my things down. Calmly, I walk around the room and hand out the street toast. JinJin raises an eyebrow at me. “What’s this for?” He asks curiously.

“For you to eat, doofus. I figured you guys didn’t grab breakfast because you almost never do,” I sigh, rolling my eyes at him. JinJin chuckles lightly and takes the sandwich, hugging me softly.

“Thanks, Y/N, you’re the best,” he chuckles. I pull out of the hug and give the last sandwich to Eunwoo, smiling.

“And, the last sandwich is for Lee Suho,” I giggle.

At the mention of his character, Eunwoo laugh lightly. “I thought you said you don’t watch our dramas,” he asks, eyeing me and smirking. I shrug my shoulders.

“Hayoon insisted, so we watched the first episode last night,” I explain. He takes a bite out of the toast, then swallows and smiles.

“What did you think?” He says, smiling widely.

“It was...interesting. Hayoon got annoyed with me because I kept hiding my face whenever you came on. But, by the end, I was almost able to get through your scenes without cringing,” I giggle. The members all laugh loudly and Eunwoo pinches his nose, scrunching up his face.

“That’s really not comforting,” he laughs. I shoot him a bright smile.

“It was good,” I say, patting his head lightly.

Across the room, Moonbin speaks up. “So, does that mean you’ll watch some of my dramas soon?” He asks excitedly. I shoot him a skeptical look.

“We’ll have to see about that. I literally couldn’t even rewatch Boys Over Flowers because you were in it,” I remind him. Moonbin pouts, crossing his arms.

“Hey, that’s mean!” He pouts at me. I laugh loudly, walking over and pinching his cheek.

“We’ll see, Bin. Maybe we can watch together and I can hide my face in your chest whenever you’re on screen,” I laugh. He rolls his eyes, pushing out his bottom lip.

“Maybe,” he says.

Calmly, all of the members eat their street toast. After about 15 minutes, JinJin calls everyone’s attention and practice starts. I sit on the wall, watching all of them practice dance moves and singing the songs. Eh...maybe I will watch some of their dramas. ‘I’ll just have to sit down and watch with them so we can all cringe’ I think to myself. Now, *that* sounds like a plan.

[teacup-tyrant]

SHADOW & BONE REVIEW: EP 8

On this episode: Parting the Red Sea of Doom, off-camera mass death, and the Inejiest line we've gotten.

And final thoughts!

- Zoya: Alina you had one job!

- Suddenly back to Nina again? At a time like this?! I mean they’re really cute together in this scene but everything with them still feels so rushed and out of place. They're talking about waffles and book readers must be overjoyed, but show only's must be like wtf is going on here, we don't understand this, why are they eating Eggos???

- But I do love Nina's skirt and blouse. I have a skirt just like it! Kinda Edwardian looking.

- Killing Matthias would be a waste of 20k kruge! I concur, my good man, take him away and clap him in irons.

- And this Alina parted the Red Sea, err, the Fold. Really though, WHY are all these passengers here? They should be idk, below decks where it's safe, at the very least.

- "A man consumed with vengeance." "See it enough in the mirror do you?" Hahahahahahaaaaaa

- And that was how Mal became an honorary Crow. Ok.

- Time for some mass death! Well, they didn’t really show much of it so it was a little anticlimactic. ...Is it bad that I wanted to see the mass death? O.O

- Ah man time for more Mal spitting blood. And old classic.

- Is this a Suli team-up?!

- YAAS SANKTA ALINA DO THE THING

- What a money shot of Kaz walking alone in front of the Fold. Great shot. I want it as my desktop.

- Omg the Sankta Alina dagger. Kaz is like, fuck, Inej definitely loves Alina more than me, I have no chance now.

- "Have you found religion too?" Now THAT is a good Witty Kaz line.

- "The deal is the deal." *cries *

- Look at this height difference, excellent. Oh god. Kaz said he needs her. She said "AFTER THAT, WE’LL SEE." Yes YES that is exactly what Inej would say because she won’t settle for Kaz as he is even NOW in pre-canon fake-canon, but it is still the exact right thing for her to say, oh my god I’m so happy with that little exchange they just had.

- Ok yes Matthias sounds exactly like Bjorn from Vikings right now.

- Jesper did not just make a "the friends we made along the way" joke, are you kidding me.

- Well, how convenient your new heart render is sitting right there. You should spring Matthias from jail right now while you’re at it, it’ll save you a lot of trouble later on, trust me.

- Omg that smirk Kaz threw at Inej, I am deceased

- oh. ok. that's... it. omg it's over!

FINAL THOUGHTS

So, I don’t work in journalism or reviews anymore but my god has this ever been fun. Kind of makes me miss it, except not, because I’d rather have job security, hah hah RIP journalism careers.

Now here’s the thing. I’m a SoC stan first and forever. It’s been living on my bookshelf for 4 years and I could probably recite them in my sleep. So... the Crows' involvement here isn’t canon to me at all. But that’s NOT THE POINT. The point that the writers have said about involving the Crows is: are these characters believable in this situation? Is this heist something that these characters WOULD do? Am I buying into it? And my answer is a fat fucking YES. I treated this as a fun IRL fanfiction, just like LB said it was. And it’s all I ever hoped for. It’s everything I ever wanted and more. (Imma break this down later in another post probably. Probably specifically about Kaz and book writing vs. screenwriting, because that's what most people are taking issue with.)

The series was truly amazing. I am over the goddamn moon that it even exists in the first place and I can watch it whenever I want. Tbh, I will probably start rewatching it AGAIN tomorrow. Then I can actually concentrate on it and not pause every 5 seconds to write a reaction on my phone.

Well, that’s all for me. Thank you for coming. I hope someone enjoyed reading my thoughts as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Do feel free to reply or send me an ask with your own thoughts, your disagreements, or just tell me I’m a pretentious asshat. I'm a big girl, I can take it. See you next season (hopefully) or visit me on ao3 at teacup_tyrant for more of my ramblings. Spoiler: it's all kanej because of course it is.

ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | ep7 | ep8

[hoboal87]

Some thoughts and a quasi fix-it on the Finale (SPOILERS)

I want to preface this by saying that I like the finale, if you didn’t, I completely get that, and if you just want to say nasty things, you can move on to the next post =)

I’ll try to keep my thoughts coherent, but no promises. Obviously, a lot of things had to change with this final episode of COVID-19, and I’ll try to address how I think they could’ve worked around it without changing the essence of this episode, which again, I’ll reiterate, I liked.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

As the episode opens, we see the boys living a “normal” life. They don’t have to worry about cosmic entities anymore, they can just do what they do best. I honestly loved this, the boys just being domestic: cooking breakfast, doing research, doing laundry, all of it. My one complaint about this opening montage is there is no clear passage of time. How long has it been since Chuck was rendered powerless? A day? A week? A few months? A year? In my opinion, it’s been maybe a couple of weeks, but I feel like the writers were trying to imply that it’s been a couple of months and it was just unclear. For me, that would have solved one of my few issues with the episode. So let's change it up a little =)

We open similarly, but in the background, we can see the date it is actually five years (or whatever amount) later. The boys are getting ready for their respective days, Dean is living in an apartment over a bar, and we watch as Sam returns from his run and enters a small house. Dean doesn’t just live above the bar, he owns it, finally having some normalcy in his life, this is what wants. He proudly displays pictures of Sam, Bobby, Mary and John, his own way of keeping them close.Sam walks into the kitchen and sees a note on the refrigerator.

“Gone to get supplies, see you tonight, Love, E.”

Sam smiles at the note as he twirls the silver band on his finger, taking in the black and white sonogram displayed prominently next to the note. We follow Sam through the house, and we see photos of his and Eileen’s wedding, and pictures of their families. His kids will never have questions about their pasts, about their families, Sam and Eileen are intent on that.

Dean opens his bar, it’s a steady crowd, flirts with some of the women, but isn’t really pursuing anything, he’s closed himself off to the idea of a wife and kids. He’s got a nephew that’ll be here in a few months anyway, and he’s already told Sam how he plans to spoil that kid rotten. We cut between Sam and Dean, watching them go through their day, Dean working at the bar, Sam with papers splayed in front of him, implying he’s gone back to school. They’re both content, finally getting what they’ve always truly wanted. They still hunt, that much is apparent as we see them at one point cleaning their weapons or doing research.

As Dean closes up the bar he sends Sam a message.

“You ready for tomorrow?”

Sam rolls his eyes playfully, “are you sure its the best idea?”

“Hell, yes. I was born ready, it’s my destiny. Tomorrow 8 am.”

This would be, maybe a 5 to 7 minute opening scene? Then we get the title card. The rest of the episode plays the same from here. Sam and Dean go on a mini-vacation, which turns into a hunt.

So about Dean’s death. I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Personally, I don’t think there was any other way to end the series. As a bunch of people pointed out, Dean’s been saying some form of “I die bloody” since the beginning of the show. Now, did I want Dean to die? No. Dean deserved to live a full and happy life, but as Michael said, “since when do we get what we deserve?”

I rewatched the episode yesterday, and I SOBBED like a fucking baby throughout Dean’s death scene. I will agree it was a little Wincest-y, but, honestly, is it really that surprising? Sam and Dean have only ever had each other. Dean raised Sam, Dean is Sam's parent in every way that counts. A user pointed out, I’m so sorry if you see this please let me know and I will tag to your post, Dean speech starts more as a father to son type instead of brother to brother.

Sam is in shock when Dean tells him that he’s hurt, immediately going with “I’ll get the first aid kit.” The look on Dean’s face is heart-breaking, and you can see that he has already accepted his fate, he’s known since the second that the rebar (NOT A FUCKING NAIL) went through him that he was not walking away. Sam is going through all the stages of grief in just a few minutes.

Denial – “I’ll get the first aid kit.”

Anger – “No, we are gonna get [the boys] somewhere safe.”

Bargaining – “I’ll find a way, I’ll find another way.”

Depression – “Don’t leave me. I can’t do this alone.”

Acceptance – “It’s okay, Dean. You can go now.”

All the while, Dean is telling Sam how proud of him he is, and that he “loves [Sam] so much.” Now, please correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that this is the first time that Dean has said to Sam that he loves him. I know we’ve heard him say it to other people and it’s definitely been implied, and the closest we got was in sacrifice, “don’t you think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you.”

Dean died in his brother’s arms, which to me, was beautiful. Can you imagine, though, Sam, carrying his brother’s lifeless body back to the Impala, setting him down gingerly in the back seat and driving back to the bunker?

I believe that we were supposed to get a lot of people at Dean’s funeral. Jody, Donna, Charlie, Bobby, Claire, (honestly, probably anyone who could be there.) But with travel restrictions into Vancouver, this had to change. It is not realistic for the writers/producers to ask people to quarantine for 2 weeks to shoot a half-day (if that) of filming. I did see that Samantha Ferris did say she wasn’t spoken to about the possibility of returning. I truly believe Shoshanna was supposed to be in this episode, but, her role was going to be very limited, and as much as I wanted to see her (obviously, from the above section) I firmly believe that she was supposed to be the woman Sam married.

Again let’s fix the second half of the episode:

Sam and Eileen give Dean a hunter’s funeral, and Sam quits the life altogether. He doesn’t want his son to ever lose him to a hunt. Eileen helps Sam through his depression, knowing exactly how it feels to lose your family. We get a similar montage, Sam takes over the bar, takes in Miracle, and keeps the Impala tucked away, for now, it’s too painful to even look at. Sam leaves Dean’s apartment as is for the longest time, afraid to move anything, what if he forgets where to put it back? We can see he’s just going through the motions, that is, until his son is born.

We see Sam cradling a newborn in his arms, Dean had joked from the moment Eileen announced her pregnancy that they should name the baby after him. Sam and Eileen laughed him off at the time, saying the world only ever needed one Dean Winchester. But now, Sam can’t think of any better way to honor his brother, than to name his son Dean.

Dean is in Heaven, greeted by Bobby who tells him all about new Heaven. Jack fixed it, and it is the Heaven that Dean deserves. When Bobby mentions Cas, Dean smirks, and Bobby assures him that Cas is around. Dean spots Baby, and tells Bobby that he's going to take her for a drive. Dean doesn’t know how long he's going to drive, but remembers Bobby’s words, “time works different up here,” and knows that eventually Sam will join him.

Dean watches from afar as Sam lives on, raising his son and daughter (cause honestly Sam would want more than one kid), he keeps them knowledgeable about the life, but they don’t hunt. On Dean Jr.’s eighteenth birthday Sam takes him to get an anti-possession tattoo, but it is more of a symbol to honor his family, Sam teaches Dean about the Impala, and how to take care of her, and he’s a natural mechanic just like his Uncle. Once a year, on the anniversary of his brother’s death, Sam sits in Baby, and feels connected to Dean, telling him much he misses him and how he wishes he was with him.

Dean watches as Sam grows old, and keeps his word, even though Sam didn’t know it, he’s been by his side the whole time. On his deathbed, Sam is surrounded by his children and Eileen (or an Eileen stand-in), who tell him it’s okay to go, and tells them all how much he loves them before letting go.

We cut to Dean, waiting on a bridge, the same one from his and Sam’s first hunt, and he can feel himself becoming whole again.

“Heya Sammy.”