#i need to stop drink ing

[servingrobin]

Prompt - they get jealous seeing someone else flirt with you

Sanji, Luffy, Zoro

Warnings: mirror sex, semi-public, possessiveness, oral (f recieving), filthy talk, in appropriate use of different rooms

✨requests are open✨

Sanji

You were absolutely oblivious, getting plied with drinks left and right with Nami at the bar, men and women of all walks surrounding you. You thought it was fun, everyone was so friendly and welcoming and great sports about buying drinks. Nami was wiser to what was happening but happy enough to go along with it for the free booze whilst Sanji was distracted with Zoro and Franky playing some pool for the first part of the evening.

Eventually you started to feel quite tipsy and Nami was getting ready to start shoo-ing the crowd away, when one particularly drunk guy started to stroke your arm.

“Why don’t you come join my table sweetheart?” He slurred out, pulling on your arm with a sweaty grip.

As you turned towards him to say a kind piss off, the pressure suddenly disappeared. Sanji had the man by the scruff of the neck up against the bar, eyes coldest blue as he glared down at the drunkard.

“Keep your hands off my lady. “ He breathed the words out carefully, dropping the man’s collar and turning to you.

Without a word Sanji grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the bar, down a small corridor towards the bathrooms. He hurried you into one of the small cupboard-sized rooms, locking the door frantically before pushing you up against the counter. Sanji was frenzied as he pawed at your body, peppering kisses along your neck and face.

“Hey hey what’s up Sanj?” You pushed against his chest slightly, genuinely concerned about his behaviour.

He looked at you with panic-stricken eyes and dropped his hands to rest on your hips.

“I cannot bear it mon amour, seeing all those people lusting over you was torture, and then for that man to put his filthy hands on you!” Sanji was incensed and growing more agitated by the second.

You lay a soothing hand on his cheeks and nudged him to look at you.

“I’m all yours Sanji, don’t ever doubt that. “

And that was how you ended up bent over the basin, staring at your lover in the mirror as he rutted against you with fury, chanting ‘mine’ with every thrust. Sanji marked his territory with kisses and his seed, spraying pearls of white along your pussy lips and thighs.

Sanji didn’t leave your side for the rest of the evening, keeping a firm grip on your waist as he tucked you into his side. It helped that whenever you wandered off he knew that you were walking around with his cum staining your underwear.

Luffy

He doesn’t understand the feelings that come upon him. Luffy is not a jealous person by nature, he is secure in your relationship and in himself generally. So when he sees you chatting with Franky throughout the day, following him round like a little puppy as he showed you some of the basics of maintaining the Sunny, Luffy doesn’t know what the bubbling bitter feeling cemented in the pit of his stomach actually is.

He perches at the end of the ship sulking, Nami laughing her head off at the whole thing next to him.

“If you don’t like it why don’t you go and say so idiot?!?” She finally curses when Luffy’s sulking does not stop after a few minutes.

Luffy huffs and stalks over to you, mumbling he needs your help with something, and locking your hands together to drag you downstairs. Franky shrugs and waves at you both before returning to his repairs.

“Lu what’s up?” You ask your boyfriend, concerned when he doesn’t speak at all. You’d been dragged down into your shared bedroom and pushed to sit on the edge of the bed.

Luffy kneels in front of you and looks up with stricken doe eyes.

“I don’t like it when you talk so much to Franky!” He finally mumbles after a few moments.

You sit there quietly for a time before you start to giggle. “There’s no need to be jealous Lu, I was just trying to learn more about the ship for you silly.”

Luffy at least has the decency to look embarrassed. You grin down at him and hook a leg up over his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re adorable! Now why don’t you make it up to me for dragging me away so suddenly?” You laugh and lock your legs around Luffy’s head.

He spends the next hour eating you out like it’s his last meal, tongue buried deep in your cunt and fucking you in long licks. Luffy suckles on your clit for a lifetime, makes you cum several times before he’ll let you go. By the time he’s finished your legs are jelly and you have no hope of moving. Luffy chuckles at you and pats your head as he ticks you into bed, secretly just happy you are too fucked out to go back upstairs.

Zoro

Zoro was not a jealous man at all. Part of his training was self awareness and controlling your emotions, and that included trusting your judgement and your relationship.

Except when it came to Sanji.

Zoro had words with the cook every other day about his incessant flirting - if the man wanted to make a fool of himself that was fine, but not over HIS woman. Sanji was naturally flirtatious but once he realised how much it got under Zoro’s skin, it became a hundred times more fun.

Sanji would make you drinks whilst you sunbathed with Nami, bring you sweet treats while you read with Chopper, compliment you every time he saw you. For your part you knew exactly what he was doing and would just roll your eyes at the chef, but were curious to see what Zoro’s breaking point would be.

It finally came when Sanji interrupted the pair of you napping on deck, bringing you and the other girls some fresh flowers from land. You breathed the scent in deeply and smiled, genuinely pleased to see some of your favourite blooms in the bouquet. Sanji skipped off to gift Robin hers next and Zoro brooded next to you.

After around ten minutes watching you gush over the flowers, Zoro had enough. He silently got up and stalked off, knocking you away from your napping position without a word.

You frowned after him and put your flowers to the side, following after your lover. You found him in the kitchen, sipping on a bottle of sake and staring at the door - waiting for you.

“Come here.” He commanded, crooking a finger over to the main counter.

You gulped and wandered over, watching Zoro with cautious eyes. Without a word he hiked you up onto the counter, perching you to face him. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in for a searing kiss, tongue and teeth clashing for dominance. Zoro kissed down your neck and nipped his way down your chest, red marks blooming where he bit.

“I’ve had enough of that stupid cook, so I’m going to make sure he knows exactly who you belong to.”

You could only whine out as Zoro removes your shorts in one swift pull, his own coming down to rest under his heavy cock. The tip was an angry red and he was already at full attention, ready to rocket into you.

Zoro tilted your hips against the counter and entered you in one swift motion, giving you no preparation or time to adjust before he was fucking into you like a beast.

“Be a good girl Princess, tell me who you belong to.” He groans out, the feel of your tightening walls and the slick dripping around him sending him into a frenzy.

“Yours Zoro, I’m all yours, belong to you…” you mumble out, entranced by the way his tip kissed your cervix with every thrust.

You were a babbling mess very quickly, begging to cum on your lovers cock.

“Come on that’s it, my perfect little slut, all mine.” Zoro punctuated each word with a violent thrust, one of his hands trailing down to flick your clit in time to his fucking.

“Come for me Princess, want to hear you moaning like a little whore for me, make sure everyone knows who this pussy belongs to.”

Zoro’s thrusts became erratic and you let out a screeching shout as the heat between your thighs built to a crescendo. You could feel your cunt releasing warmth as you spasmed, high pitched keens coming from your mouth as you climaxed on the kitchen counter.

Zoro grunted as he watched you squirt around his cock, his thick length pistoning in and out of you surrounded by waves of your fluids. The sight drove him to his own release, and with a final cry of “My slut!” Spilt his seed deep in your cunt, balls flush against you as he buried his release to the hilt.

You let out a shaky sigh as Zoro pulled away, your climax dripping from his cock. Your legs were shaking and you could barely move. Zoro smirked at you and pulled up your shorts before heaving you over his shoulder to return to your napping spot. You were too brain dead to notice the trail of cum you’d left behind.

“WHOS DESECRATED MY KITCHEN!!!!!”

[prettyfastcars]

triggered | Mob!Lando

Summary: The two of you had broken up just weeks ago, and it was mainly his fault. But no matter how hard he tried to win you back, you never gave him the opportunity to. Lando hadn’t heard from you or seen you at all in those weeks. And when he did finally catch a glimpse of you, it almost made his heart stop. He hoped he’d find you at a club, or walking down the city streets. He didn’t expect to find a suggestive photograph of you on another man’s phone. And that triggered his anger and jealousy in a way that nothing ever had before. 

Themes: exes-to-lovers, jealous!lando, smut, cam girl!reader, lowkey toxic ex!lando, degrading kink, brief aftercare, mild gun play, mild daddy kink

All he saw was pure red. 

Earlier this evening, Lando walked into one of the clubs he owned in this city to hopefully drink enough to forget all about the torturous day he’d had. It seemed like ever since the two of you broke up, he had only been having bad days. Mainly because half the time he was busy thinking about you and his brain wasn’t functioning well. 

So tonight, after a long day and the longest week ever, he just wanted some drinks and some peace. But of course, life had to torture him some more. 

Lando was lounging in one of the couches in the VIP area, constantly having to turn down all the girls who wanted his attention. He barely even saw their faces, they all seemed blurry and since they weren’t you, he didn’t care. So there he was, chilling when he heard a group of men nearby, over on the next couch, laughing and ‘ooh’ ing while looking down at one of their friends’ phone. 

As much as he wanted to have them kicked out for their loud, annoying voices, he couldn’t because they were some of the regulars. The group was here almost every weekend. And part of him was also curious to know what had their attention like that. So he listened intently as the guys proceeded to make vulgar comments on pictures that a woman sent one of them apparently. The club was loud, but he was close enough to be able to hear part of their conversation. 

“So did you like, ask for this?” One of them asked.

Then the one on whose phone the video was sent, he assumed, answered, “She’s like a cam girl who also does like a private chat thing if you send her enough money. So I requested pictures and she sent these.” 

The men laughed, slapping the guy who received the video on the back like he was a hero. 

Another asked, “So what’s her name?” 

“I don’t know. She always wears hot bunny costumes and she...” 

The rest of what he said did even register in Lando’s brain. He totally froze on the couch for a second there. 

Bunny costumes? Surely not… 

Lando knew of your past as a cam girl. You used to be quite a successful one too. But you stopped when you and Lando started dating about a year ago. Not because he wanted you to, but because you didn’t need the extra money anymore since Lando spoiled you rotten. 

His heart raced faster than the cars he liked to drive when he realised how many bunny costumes you owned. It was your go to Halloween costume each year. Plus during your cam girl days, you were known for them. 

It can’t be you, right? You wouldn’t… right? Not when he couldn’t even breathe right whenever he thought about how you had ‘broken up’ with him. 

He felt hot and cold at the same time, and something, like a twisted gut feeling told him something wasn’t right. So Lando quietly signalled one of his guards over and asked him to bring him that phone that was currently being passed around within that group of men, and also asked him to kick that whole group out. 

Within a minute or two, the group was gone and that damn phone was in his hand. And Lando lost it for a moment. All he saw was red, his heartbeats echoed in his ears, his hands shook. He had never felt this level of rage before. 

On the screen was a picture of a woman, scantily dressed. Black fishnets, black bodysuit, black bunny ears, black high knee socks. He tightened his grip around the phone so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if the screen cracked. The woman’s face was turned away, but Lando would recognise that body anywhere. A body he had touched, tasted, fucked too many times to count. 

It was you. And the red neon sign behind you only served as more proof that this picture was taken in your bedroom. A bedroom he was in just weeks ago, arguing with you before you two broke up. 

He was breathing heavily as if he’d run a marathon. He checked the date and time of the picture and turned out you had sent it that evening itself, and that only fueled whatever murderous rage had taken over him. 

Lando pocketed the stranger’s phone, and pulled out his own and called you. Of course you didn’t pick up and that only pissed him off even more. 

Within the next minute, Lando was out of the club, in his car and speeding towards your penthouse. He could barely think straight. He could barely function, it was a miracle he was still able to drive properly. 

His heart raced as he surpassed the speed limit like the law meant nothing to him. It rarely ever did but right now, all he cared about was finding you and fuck, he didn’t even know what the fuck to say to you. But he would remind you that you still belonged to him. 

He knew it would only piss him off even more but he pulled out that guy’s phone again, and with a few taps he found that damn picture again. He kept an eye on the mostly empty road as he swiped left and right to see if there were more pictures. 

There were a couple more. Same outfit, different angles. Always with your face hidden. Lando nearly threw the phone out the window but he knew he’d need it when he would confront you. So he tossed the phone aside, and punched his steering wheel instead. He hoped the pain would maybe take his focus away from the rage he felt, but he barely even felt the punch. 

He was shaking by the time he reached your penthouse. His entire being focused on only getting to your floor and knocking on your door. He barely even remembered if he had parked his car in the right spot. 

He took deep breaths in the elevator, trying to talk himself out of breaking down your front door the moment he got to it. It was late at night, so even if he did break down the door your neighbours would surely hear it and come investigate. 

And for what he had planned for you, he didn’t want an audience. Fuck, he was barely able to think straight after finding a picture of you in another man’s phone. He was certain he would commit heinous crimes if ever someone saw you half naked like that in real life. 

He banged loudly on your door. He could hear nothing but silence on the other end. But he knew you’d be home. Since less than an hour ago you sent pictures to a random man. 

He called out. “Open up, babygirl.” Lando growled, banging both of his fists onto the wooden door. The sound was loud enough that he could hear it echoing inside the spacious penthouse. He waited to hear something, and he did. Some kind of movement from the other side of the door, but the door remained locked. He yelled louder, “I will break down this door if I have to, baby. Is that what you want? Want me to cause a scene?” 

Apparently you didn’t because the moment those words left his mouth, he heard a familiar click. The door unlocked, but remained shut. He would’ve smirked and felt triumphant if it wasn’t for the fiery anger inside him which tried to claw its way out. 

Lando opened the door, rushed inside and slammed it shut behind him. At that point, he didn’t care who heard the commotion he caused. The moment his eyes met yours, he stopped giving a fuck about anything else. 

You stood near the entrance. Back against the wall like it would protect you from him. And what pissed him off even more was that you were still wearing that damn costume, minus the bunny ears, from the picture. Something in him snapped as he nearly pounced on you like an actual predator in the wild.  

Grabbing you by the neck, he pinned you to the wall. Ignoring your pleas, he pulled out that guy’s phone, found that damn picture and shoved it in your face. 

“Care to explain what the fuck this is?!” He snarled, squeezing your throat just a little. 

You didn’t have to look at the screen to know what he had found. You didn’t know what kind of twisted invisible string this was, that even after breaking up brought Lando back into your life. Like this no less. You’d been ignoring him for weeks, but somehow he found his way to you now. 

“That is none of your business.” You said, causing him to tighten his grip around your neck. Still, you whispered, “What I do is none of your problems anymore. We’re–” 

Lando cut you off by throwing the phone to the ground with enough force that it broke and bounced off the floor and hit the front door. Then he leaned closer to you, his eyes quickly scanning your barely dressed body. 

Your body reacted the same way it did back when you were together. All Lando ever had to do was give you those bedroom eyes and you’d be dragging him to bed no matter the time of day. 

His other hand reached into his pocket and he pulled out the shiny gun he always carried. It had his name engraved on it and everything. He used to let you play with back when–

Your thoughts came to an immediate halt when he carefully pressed the cold barrel of the gun to your parted lips, his eyes staring into yours. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little scared of him at that moment. After all, he hadn’t earned the reputation he had for nothing. 

“Keep talking, come on.” He whispered, dangerously calm now. “Tell me more about how you’re not my problem anymore.” 

He scoffed when you shivered, trailing the barrel of the gun down your body. Leaving your lips, down your chin, down in between your breasts. The almost see-through bodysuit didn’t leave much to the imagination and it both pissed him off and turned him on. He dragged the gun across your stomach, and further down until he pressed the barrel in between your legs, making you whimper like an actual bunny. 

He rubbed it in between your legs briefly before dragging it back up your body. “You wanted to be a slutty, little bunny so bad, didn’t you?” He cooed in that voice that sent shivers all over your body. “Go on then, run and hide. Hide as best you can.” He tapped the barrel of the gun on your lower lip a couple of times before saying, “And when I find you, I will remind you exactly who you belong to.” 

With that he pulled away, took a few steps back and gave you room to run. It was cruel, whatever game he was playing. But it was messing with your head, turning you on. 

Seeing you weren’t moving, he added, “I’ll count till ten. Better get moving, little bunny.” 

You ran, hearing him count in the background as your heart raced. The penthouse was spacious, with many nooks and corners to hide in. Like the wine cellar for instance. But Lando knew each and everyone of those hiding spots. He was the one who gifted you the penthouse after all. Besides, no matter how well you hid he would end up finding you anyway. 

Still, you ran deep into your walk-in closet and hid behind your thich coats. Crouched down in a corner, you waited to hear if he was coming. His voice reached you before he did. 

“I’m coming to find you.” Followed by a deep, scary chuckle. “And when I do, I show you exactly what happens to bad little bunnies who misbehave.” 

Time felt like it went by in slow motion as you listened intently for his footsteps. You heard it approaching. Then you heard your bedroom door opening and shutting. 

“You’re so predictable,” He sounded disappointed. Yet his voice made you clench your thighs together all the same. 

And you were too busy trying to process how your body was reacting to the fear, the sound of his voice, the anticipation of what was to come, that you didn’t hear him enter the closet. 

“I know you’re in here,” He called out in a voice that was so calm it made your heart pound even harder. “I can hear you trembling behind those coats, babygirl.” 

Shit. 

You barely processed it all when his hand reached in and grabbed you by the arm, dragging you out of your pathetic hiding spot. 

“Lando, please–,” 

He cut you off by glaring at you and said, “On your knees.” 

You quickly sank down to your knees in front of him, looking up to find a wild hunger in those pretty eyes of his. 

He spoke up again. “Now come on, we both know what that pretty mouth is good at. Show me.” He grabbed you by the back of your neck. “You wanted so desperately to be a little slut, right? Sending pictures to random men, huh? Come on then, make it good for me like a slut would.” 

His words put you under a spell. Your hands reached up to undo his belt, unzip his trousers and lower his underwear to free his erected cock. 

“Come on, little bunny.” He hissed, watching you as you wrapped your hands around his cock and placed your mouth on him, your tongue slowly circling his tip. 

Lando pushed himself deeper into your mouth. “Take all of me. This is all you’re good for, isn’t it bunny?” He threw his head back and let out a strained moan. “All you’re good for is sucking daddy’s cock…” 

You kept your eyes on his handsome face as you sucked on his cock. Lips parted and gasping as he tilted his head back. He looked every bit the powerful man he was. He groaned as he took over, pushing deeper into your mouth, fucking it like he owned it. 

“This is all you needed, isn’t it you little brat?” He taunted, as you gagged a little, taking him perfectly. “You wanted attention that bad, huh?” He hissed, fucking your mouth harder until your jaws hurt. “Isn’t that why you broke up with me? Because according to you I didn’t give you enough attention?” He thought back to that night you two ‘broke up’. 

That menacing tone of his made you squirm and it only added to the dampness which was forming in between your legs. 

He quickened the pace at which he moved in and out of your mouth. “All the trips, the cars, the penthouse, that beach house you threw a bratty fit for, all the shit I bought you. None of it was enough for your attention-seeking, bratty self, was it? Hmm?” When you didn’t respond, you earned yourself a smack on your cheek. “You still had to go look for more from another man, is that it?” 

You glared at him upon hearing the insinuation in his words. 

“Did you think anyone else could treat you like I do? Did you think another man would spoil you like I do?” His stare intensified when you dragged your tongue lazily over the slit on his tip, tasting some of his come and moaning as you did. Smirking, and just to push your buttons he asked, “Did you suck him off like this too?” 

That did it. You pulled away, snarling at him, “Fuck you!” 

You stood up fast, shoving at his chest. But he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer, his eyes focusing on your swollen lips. “So you cheat, and then you have the audacity to–,” 

You cut him off by raising your voice and saying firmly, “I didn’t cheat! We broke up, remember?” 

“And you are mine!” He hissed. “Remember that?” 

Before you answered, his mouth was on yours. His kiss was rough and it hurt in the best way. Lando pulled away for a brief moment, squeezed your cheeks so you couldn’t close your mouth. Glaring at you, he spat in your mouth before kissing you again. 

It was hot. And messy. And you were too lost in him to think straight, so much that you didn’t realise he was dragging you towards your bed until he pushed you down on it. 

Then he pointed at the red neon sign above your bed with a lethal look in his eyes. “This is where you took the picture, isn’t it?” His voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, “Like a needy little slut.” 

You were quiet. Your brain was too foggy with lust to function. 

“Why’d you do it?” He asked, sliding his rough hands up and down your parted thighs. You spread them even more the moment he touched you and he smirked when he noticed it. “Was it for money?” He taunted, knowing full well he’d put enough money in your account for it to last a lifetime. 

All you did was whimper as he crawled on top of you, looking down at you like he couldn’t decide what to do with you. He knelt in between your legs, his hands toyed with the thin material of your body suit, his fingers tracing the outline of it along your inner thighs, then he abruptly tore it, the fabric giving in to his strong hands. 

His fingers tore at the fishnets as well, now exposing your wet folds to his dangerous stare. He touched you mindlessly, sliding his fingers up and down your slit, spreading your wetness around. 

“You’re not gonna show off this body from now on, you hear me?” 

“Now you have a problem with it?” You couldn’t help but scoff. “Isn’t that how we met?” 

That earned you a slap on the thigh. You yelped in pain before glaring at him. 

“Yeah we did. And now you’re mine so no one gets to see you like–,” 

“But we broke up.” 

Lando hated being cut off. But what he hated more than that was when you argued over stupid shit like this. “Say that bullshit again. I dare you.” 

You gulped at the sound of his voice. Cold, bitter, threatening. He was getting on your nerves, and perhaps that’s why you whispered sassily, “We broke up.” 

And that did it. His hand pinned you down on the bed by wrapping around your neck to keep you in place, while his other hand wrapped around his cock. Pumping it once, twice while holding your stare. 

You could cry that’s how badly you needed him inside you. Lando wasted no time sliding inside of you. Giving you no time to even think, he moved in and out of you in a way that had you crying out loud. 

He held your stare as he fucked you hard and fast, barely giving you time to breathe right. He leaned in again, whispering against the corner of your open mouth, “We broke up, huh? You think we’re done, babygirl? Is that why your pussy is strangling my cock?”

You could feel your face getting hotter as your walls clenched around him over and over again, as he sped up and pounded into you. You felt all of him stretching you out, filling you up, moving rapidly in and out of you until he was all you could focus on. 

“Is this what you wanted, little bunny?” He whispered, pounding into you relentlessly as he bent down to bite your lower lip and tug on it. “Is this enough attention, baby?” 

You moaned at how perfect his warm body felt on top of yours, his weight pressing down on you. He couldn’t even bother to get you properly undressed, but something about being so dishevelled as he fucked you, fishnets torn, bodysuit in tatters, it only made it hotter. 

His slight stubble tickled your skin as he kissed your face and bit on your lip. Your legs trembled as his thrusts, relentless and unbearably good. The pressure around your lower body was familiar, tight and hot.

Lando looked at you as you tightened around his cock. He smirked, looking down to where his cock disappeared into you each time he thrust in. “See?” He whispered, “You’re all mine again. Only mine.” The possessiveness in his voice only made you clench around him again. 

His hand squeezed your throat, making you moan even louder. “My dirty little slut. Look at you, all cock drunk.” He scoffed, giving you yet another messy kiss. “Are you gonna be good from now on? When you want something, you open that slutty little mouth and ask me for it, you understand? Be it attention, money, or some cock to fill you up.” He growled. “You come to me!” 

You whimpered, unable to say anything because of how good he felt sliding in and out of you. Fuck, you had missed this. So much. You whined again when his hand let go of your throat, fingers trailing down your squirming body until his fingers found your clit, toying with it while he pounded into you mercilessly.

“Are you gonna be good from now on?” He stared deep into your eyes as he spoke. “You’re mine, and you’re damn lucky that guy didn’t touch you otherwise I would’ve fucking killed him.” He spoke in a fit of rage again, fueled by his lust. 

“Please…” You whimpered, squirming and unable to hold back anymore. You needed to come so bad, you could feel your eyes tearing up. Your thoughts were a mess. 

Lando leaned in to kiss your exposed shoulder while he fucked you. “Answer me first.” He whispered, his warm breath tickling your ear. “Are you going to fucking behave or not?” 

“I will!” You squealed when he bit down on your shoulder. 

“Good girl.” 

And you couldn’t hold back anymore. You came undone all around him. Moaning and back arching off the bed as you came hard around his cock, tightening around him even harder than earlier. 

Lando kept pounding into you as your orgasm washed over you, your walls squeezing him violently. Your body trembling under him. “That’s it, babygirl. Come for me.” 

You could hear the untamed hunger in his deep, growly voice. He groaned until he came undone as well. You whined and whimpered as you felt him filling you up, his thrusts slowing down, his cum dripping down your thighs. 

—

You didn’t remember when he cleaned you up and changed you into your favourite onesie before getting in bed with you. All you remember is waking up at some point during the night, cuddled up with him, safe and warm in his arms. 

Lando was awake still, his fingers lazily tracing shapes over your back. You cleared your throat awkwardly and waited for him to say something. 

“Why'd you do it?” He asked. 

You were silent for a moment. Then answered, “I thought it was time I move on and earn my own money.” 

“Your own money.” Lando scoffed. “You have money.” 

“It's yours. I'm not gonna use your money when I'm not with you.” A pause. “I've started looking for an apartment, I'll move–,”

He cut you off by twisting his body, and yours, so you laid on your sides facing each other. Even in the dark you could feel the intensity of his stare. He grabbed your chin roughly and spoke in that low, menacing voice. “You are gonna stop with this nonsense.” 

“But–” 

“Shut the fuck up, baby. Don't piss me off.” 

You frowned but kept quiet for a few moments. Having him be this close to you reminded you of how addicting he could be. His handsome face. His pretty eyes. His touch. The way he couldn’t help but order you around. He was infuriating. But he made your heart flutter. 

“So,” You mumbled, “Now what?” 

Lando let go of your chin and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into him. He ignored your question, and instead asked, “Are you in pain?” 

You quickly assessed your body and replied, “Just a little sore. That bite on my shoulder hurts though. It's gonna leave behind a mark.” You wrapped an arm around his lean waist too. 

“Good.” He said arrogantly. “It'll remind you that you belong to me.”

[star-crossed-sluts]

Matt Murdock X Chubby!Fem!Reader

Contents: 2.2k words, love confession/discussion, cheeky reader, giggly sex, chubby female reader, slight insecure reader but that's quickly solved, mentions of bullying regarding weight though very brief

Minors DNI

You are responsible for your own media consumption

You've dealt with strange looks all your life. It wasn't surprising their whispers had infiltrated your mind. Often you managed to catch yourself, stopping the thoughts that weren't quite yours. When you first met Matt, the most frequent one was, of course, you could only get a blind man to like you. It was cruel, and you tried to chase it away every time, but there was a small part of you that thought, if only I can keep him from touching me, we can go on like this. 

Because you were a fool. 

He always grabs your hips first, almost a warning of the devil to come. 

“What’re you doing up,” he rumbled against your neck, voice thick with sleep. You're half-sure he’s subconsciously tracking how long you've been away from his arms every night, waking himself when the timer passes your usual bathroom breaks’ duration. 

His hands push even further, rubbing your sides until he's gripped two handfuls of your soft stomach. Bare chest plastered against your back, his grip manhandling your hips back to meet his. You used to shy away from his touch, wanting to keep the you from reality separate from the you he's crafted in his mind's eye. 

Little hard to feel ashamed of your body when he was rocking his hard-on against your ass.

“You're insatiable, Matthew.” 

His groan was pained, like you were terribly twisting his arm instead of letting him fondle you in the kitchenette. “Don't call me Matthew,” he griped, one hand searching for the bottom of your nightshirt. “Reminds me of my priest.” 

You leaned into him, a fond smile playing on your lips as he found the edge of your panties, starting to leave open-mouthed kisses down your neck. “Because you’re such an altar boy,” you joked as his fingers trailed the hem, outlining the curve where your leg met your mound. You know the moment he thinks of a retort, because his lips twitch against your pulse.

“Well, I do seem to spend a lot of time on my knees-” He burst into laughter as your elbow came back at him, letting you attack his ribs to distract you from the way his hand explored your upper thigh. “Abuse,” he accused, “attacking a blind man!”

“It’s alright, I know a great lawyer.”

Matt chuckled against the thrumming vein in your neck, his grip on your stomach pulling you tighter against him. “Yeah? You know, my rates are pretty steep, but I think we can come up with some alternative payment.”

“I was talking about Foggy.”

His laugh flew out of him, taken completely off guard, and sent you into manic giggles right along with him, throwing yourself back against his chest to hold you upright. “You're terrible,” he cackled, tugging you to shuffle backwards to the bedroom with him. “Come back to bed, trouble.” 

“Oh, don't you start with me,” you faux-threatened, but still gave in and helped him navigate the living room. “You're so much more trouble than I am.” 

He pretended to mull it over, hmm-ing and mmm-ing between soft kisses on your neck. “Alright,” he decided, “I'll let you have that one. Y'know, since you obviously need a win right now.” 

You hit the mattress, helping each other climb into bed like you hadn't been in months, as opposed to the twenty minutes it took you to make and drink your sleep aid. Only when you were wrapped in each other's arms again did you gush, “oh, yes, obviously. How can I thank you, Matty?”

Who could ever think you were anything but beautiful - that he thought you were anything but stunning - when he got such an eager, bashful grin at the suggestion. When his entire face lit up with a pink hue, as if he hasn't helped himself to your body any chance he got. How long have you lived together, and he still got that cute crinkle in the corners of his eyes with the force of his beaming as he dove for your lips. 

“Y'know,” he murmured into your mouth, “I was disappointed when I woke up and you were gone.” 

You dragged your hands down his bare back, snapping his waistband with a grin. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he emphasized, like he was offended by the teasing tone you took with him, snapping your underwear. A warning that he was ready to give as good as he got. “It's not nice to leave your boyfriend all alone in bed.”

You hummed, pretending to really consider that as you let him pull you to straddle his hips. He helped you out of your night shirt, tossing the thin fabric aside and letting out a pleased groan as you plastered your chest to his. You dragged your lips softly over his jaw, a smile twitching into place as he chased you, trying to catch a kiss. “Are you saying you think I should make it up to you?” 

“I'm saying it's been entirely too long since you've sat on my face.” 

A laugh burst from you at that, even as Matt peeled your underwear down your thighs. “Oh, yes, it's already been several days!”

“Exactly: it's been days,” he groaned, offering his hands for you to balance as you tossed around to escape the cotton around your knees, working them down one leg, then the other. 

“Next time,” you promised with a soft kiss, nimble fingers working the strings on his pants. “I drank my-”

“Your sleepy girl mocktail?” He grinned like he could feel your embarrassed glare, kissing the pout off your lips. “Can taste it. You added honey tonight?” 

“I needed something to make it sweeter,” you huffed. A tap on his hip and he lifted them for you, helping you work his pants off. You couldn't help a smile as his dick slapped his stomach, leaving a smudge of pearly precum on his smooth skin. “You're such an evil man,” you accused, wrapping your fingers around his base to watch the way his hips jerked into your palm. A stroke with your thumb along that thick vein and he leaked another stream, dripping down the side of him and onto your hand. “You're this hard when you've been teasing your poor girlfriend?” 

Your hips moved on their own when he slid two thick fingers between his lips, grinding against him as he laved his tongue over the digits. That smug grin you hated to love spread across his face as his wet fingers fit themselves to your slit, one rubbing soft shapes into your clit while the other pressed inside you. “My poor girlfriend,” he mused, “who never gets off on teasing me?” 

You shut him up with a kiss, trying to smother his chuckles that told you he knew exactly what you were doing. Still, it didn't stop him from taking advantage, pressing his tongue into your mouth, tasting every inch of you. The bitterness of the tart cherry juice and the sweetness of the honey from your drink dancing on his tongue, disappointingly hiding the taste of you that he's begun to crave. If he pushed deeper, he could almost imagine he found it again, in the back of your throat where nothing could reach but him. Somehow it felt even more intimate than the way you worked each other up with your hands: being the only one to know what you taste like behind the toothpaste and soda you cycled through daily. 

Matt's no idiot. He hears the comments you get, feels the stares - sometimes even more than you do. He wished he could find a way to tell you how wrong they were, but how would he even begin? How do you tell someone that when you wake up alone, the first thing you do is listen for where your girlfriend’s gone? That you could sculpt her exactly from how much you touch her, desperate to commit her to memory. How do you tell someone that even without your sight, your every sense is devoted to her?

He supposed he could settle for making you see stars while he figured it out.

You grinned against Matt's lips, a slight giggle falling out, as he rolled you onto your back. You were always tempted to make fun of him for his favorite position, but there was nothing Catholic about the way he took you.

Your hands kept working his cock as he arranged you - hooking your knees over the crooks of his elbows so he could feel your thick thighs pressed against him - to hear him curse under his breath. “Careful,” he warned, kissing his way down the side of your neck, “or we'll be up all night,”

“Mm, is that supposed to discourage me?” 

A strained laugh against your tender skin as you gave a particularly harsh tug. “You think you're so cute,” he managed out, trying to sound anything other than reverent.

You shared a chaste kiss as you guided him between your thighs. “I'm adorable,”

“Yes, you are. Arms around my neck, angel.” 

You always ended up the same way when one or the other needed some love. Nose to nose, lips glancing off each other like you were shy teenagers again. Your legs over Matt's arms gave him the feeling of holding you completely, letting his hands wander to feel every reaction your body gave him. Your arms around his neck, letting you claw up his back or card through his soft hair, pull his mouth wherever you wanted it. 

A match made in heaven. 

Matt had long since broken you of your bad habit to muffle yourself, the breathy moan falling unhindered from your lips as he pressed into you like coming home. Your voice rang in the empty bedroom, more beautiful than any song, perfectly accompanied by the slick sounds from your cunt as he started a slow, grinding pace. Your hands clenched and unclenched, scratching the base of his neck as you lost yourselves in each other. Lips connected in passing swipes, sharing a deep kiss and almost separating before diving back in. His fingers traced every curve, dip and fold of your soft skin, reveling in your body the way only a man truly in love could. 

The word haunted him until he told you. “Love you,” he managed through heaving breaths, soft and quiet in the privacy of the bed you shared. Then, as if afraid you hadn’t heard him, he said it louder. “I’m in love with you, y’know that?” 

“Matty,”

A great big grin spread over his face when you whined, ankles locking together behind him like you thought he’d stop talking if he fucked you deeper. “Why so shy,” he hummed, stealing another wet kiss. “You didn’t know that? I don’t tell you enough?” He felt your feet kick and your lips turn into a pout, laughing at your mini fit. 

“‘S different,” you insisted, dragging him back to your lips, only to pull him back once you’ve thought of a defense. “In love is bigger than love.” 

It’s a conversation you had in the early stages, when friendship was just barely turning into something more, when you were both stuck dropping hints, hoping the other would make the leap. You didn’t think he remembered until he managed to quote you with his hips pressed into yours. “‘Love is a feeling you can’t control, being in love is a choice- a commitment,’ I know.” He plunged into you as deeply as he could, bringing your lips to his with his palms cupping your round cheeks. He only pulled back when you were both struggling to breathe, searching each other’s air for anything you could get from it. “I,” he enunciated carefully, making sure he left no room for misinterpretation, “am hopelessly in love with you, darling. I choose you every hour of the day. I would choose you in a room of women, I would choose you if you were a worm, and in every other ridiculous scenario that you let keep you up at night.” He heard your lips part as your jaw went slack, smelled the salt of your budding tears as he ranted to you. He pressed a chaste kiss to your parted lips. “I know it’s bigger, and you don’t have-”

“I’m in love with you.”

He felt his heart thump in his chest, beating its way out as you dragged him down to your level, smacking a hundred split-second kisses to every inch of his face. “I love you, I am in love with you, I would pick you- I love you so much, Matty!” 

He pulled your hips up higher on his lap so he could get closer to you, arms wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest until there wasn’t a breath of air between you. His firm body pressing into your soft one like he could make a home in your chest, let you surround him until you would never have to be apart. 

“I hope you realize we’ll definitely be up all night now,”

“I’m not the one who has court tomorrow,” 

A giddy laugh smothered in the crook of your neck as his hips started pumping into you again. “You are trouble,”

You pressed your lips to his temple. “Perfect match for you, then.”

“Yes, you are.”

[aurorawritestoescape]

So i couldnt sleep so my mind went rambling abt bad blood tommy fucking reader while on facetime w joel. (Like yk filming reader if that makes sence.) And tommy MAYBE brat taming her a little bit or smt and joel telling him what to do or smt. (You can ignore that last part lol)

Xx

BAD BLOOD extra || Tommy’s visit || 2,1k happens after part 6 | can be read alone

Pairing: step uncle Joel Miller x f!reader x stepdad Tommy Miller

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, fluff, step-cest, age gap (reader is 22, Joel and Tommy are in their late and mid-40s), brat tamer!Tommy, mean!Joel, voyeurism, exhibitionism, unprotected piv, consensual ass spanking, creampies, degradation, praise kink, daddy kink, ass play, swearing, smoking. The pics are for the mood only. Reader has no specific physical descriptions.

A/n: thank you for the delicious thots and inspo, lovely nonnie!💖😘I’m not gonna ignore the last part bc it’s hot af! Hugs to @milla-frenchy for beta-ing😘 Love you all!❤️ dividers by @saradika-graphics

Part 6 || SERIES MASTERLIST || MASTERLIST

Tommy’s visiting you while you’re at college and he got a hotel room for you two for a whole weekend, starting Friday. After a few weeks apart and numerous phone sex sessions you couldn’t take your hands off each other. You lost count how many times Tommy made you come on his tongue, his fingers, his cock.

Fucked out of your mind, you’re lying naked on your front in the bed, nibbling on some French fries that you ordered to the room.

“Let’s call uncle Joel,” you offer, smiling at Tommy who’s resting next to you, leaning against the headboard, drinking water and stealing your fries from time to time. He’s naked as well and you marvel at his golden skin, glistening with sweat, his long dark curls, some stuck to his forehead and neck.

“You miss him?” he asks, grabbing his phone off the nightstand.

No way you will admit it so you answer with a shrug. Over the weeks apart Joel and you phoned each other too. Your calls were much shorter than with your stepdad and consisted of him making you come by degrading you over the phone, while your vibrator was pressed to your clit or your fingers were playing with your pussy. He never jerked off though. ‘I ain’t a fucking teenager to jack off over the phone like that,” he always said. But you could bet that as soon as he hung up, his hand darted to his throbbing cock.

When Joel picks up the phone, you hear music and people talking loudly. It’s Friday night so of course he’s at some bar. Tommy greets him and the noises get quiet when the older brother apparently steps outside.

“Hey, uncle Joel,” you purr, when Tommy passes you the phone. Joel gives you a trace of a smile, his face illuminated by the dim street light. He’s looking handsome and smug as always, with a lit cigarette hanging off his lower lip.

“Tommy, why is this little slut still talking?” he raises his voice so his brother could hear. “You’ve been there all day, she shoulda been in a cock coma by now.”

Tommy shakes his head, mumbling ‘Jesus’ and you roll your eyes.

“Stop it, daddy’s made my pussy very happy.”

Joel hums in disbelief and you pout your lips.

“Why haven’t you come with him?”

“I have work this weekend, angel. Need to get some dough so when you visit us I can spoil you like a princess.”

“Really?” You beam at the screen.

“Hell no! Ima spend it on hookers and blow,” he chuckles.

“Fuck you,” you curse at him and throw the phone back to Tommy.

You turn over on your back and with your brows furrowed, start angrily chewing on a fry.

“Second, Joel,” Tommy mumbles, crawls to you and slowly gets between your thighs, the phone still in his hand.

“You know he’s joking, right? We can't wait for you to visit us in Austin.”

Tommy’s warm smile softens your attitude and you slide lower to wrap your legs around his hips, pressing your cum filled pussy to his already hardening cock.

He takes it as an invitation, which it absolutely is, and glides his pink tip between your slicked up pussy lips, massaging your clit and drawing needy whimpers out of your half-opened mouth.

“Look at this, Joel,” Tommy smirks, turning the phone and directing the camera to your cunt, hugging his stiff cock.

“Damn, angel,” you hear your step uncle respond.

Then Tommy slowly changes the phone's angle so your step uncle could see your naked body, squirming against the messy sheets.

You look at the screen, eyes already glossy with lust and bliss, and bite your lip, hearing a loud growl, coming out of Joel's mouth at the sight of your puffy wet folds, being used by his brother, your heaving belly, your hickey-covered tits and pebbled nipples.

“Looking hot, baby,” you hear him compliment you and almost come at how rare and thus more delicious it is.

“Thank you, uncle,” you breathe out and suddenly cry out when Tommy roughly pushes his cock into your weeping hole, taking you by surprise.

“Daddy!”

“Yes, my love?” Tommy gives you a naughty smile, rolling his hips into you and you smile back. The way he fills you is so satisfying, it makes your pussy greedily clench and gush more around his cock .

“How is she?” Joel asks, and you hear him take a drag of his cigarette.

Tommy turns the camera back to himself and talks to his brother, while his cock is languidly sliding in and out of your soft cunt.

“She’s heaven, Joel. You’re missing out.”

At this point you’re not sure if they’re talking about you or your pussy, which turns you on even more.

“Yeah, fuck, ya know that we need to get that contract. I’m meeting them tomorrow morning.”

To your shock they start discussing the upcoming deal and your jaw drops in astonishment.

“Hello! Your dick’s inside me! Can you talk shop later?” you grunt at Tommy and hear Joel’s gruff voice.

“Shut it, angel. Grownups are talking.”

Tommy gives you an apologetic smile but then continues speaking to Joel.

Anger boils up in your stomach and you plant your foot on Tommy's chest and push yourself off his cock. The man hisses, apparently in pain from your sudden movement. But you couldn’t care less. How dare he? you think, feeling hurt and offended.

You roll over on your belly, grab a handful of fries and shove them into your mouth.

“What the fuck, babygirl? Ouch,” Tommy growls behind you.

“Whatever.”

“Come on, sweetheart. I’ve just asked him a couple of questions. It’s important.”

“Fucking brat,” Joel comments on the phone and you grind your teeth.

Trying to soothe you, Tommy rubs the back of your thigh with his warm hand.

“My cock’s hard and waiting for you, my love.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” you bite back and Tommy throws the phone on the bed next to you.

Suddenly he plops down on top of you, pressing you into the mattress with his heavy body.

“He’s right. You are a fucking little brat,” he hisses in your ear and grabs your arms with his strong hands, when you try to lift your torso to push him off. “I’ve been railing this needy cunt all day and you can’t give me a few seconds?”

He bucks his hips against your ass and you moan, feeling his huge cock dig between your asscheeks.

“Daddy,” you whimper in defeat.

“Bitch needs to be punished, brother,” Joel’s modulated voice is egging Tommy on.

“Ain’t he right, sweetie?” Tommy grunts, his hot breath fanning your cheek.

Your mischievous smile tells him everything he needs to know and he commands, lifting his torso off you and sitting up.

“Ass up, babygirl!”

He slaps your asscheek and you whine, when the vibrations pleasure your sensitive pussy.

You do as you’re told and grab the phone with a naughty smile, before placing it against the headboard, letting Joel see what your stepdad is about to do to you.

“Should I spank this minx, Joel?”

“Fuck yeah! This brat’s begging to be disciplined. Right, little slut?”

“Yes, please, daddy, uncle,” you obediently breathe out, wiggling your pushed up ass.

It immediately earns you a slap from Tommy and you moan.

“Shall I keep going, sweetie?” Tommy asks and you hastily nod.

Another slap lands on your ass and then another and another.

“Fuck, wish I could join you, brother,” Joel groans. “I’d give it to her good.”

Tommy spares you, his hits are not that hard, but after having the same spot spanked a few times, you feel heat and ache spread over your skin.

“Daddy,” you whine and he glides his palms over the globs of your ass in a soothing gesture.

“Will you interrupt me again, babygirl?” he asks and slaps your burning asscheek.

“No, daddy!”

“Good girl,” Tommy praises as his hand runs over your spine and squeezes the back of your neck.

“And never get off this cock until I’m done with you. Understand?”

You nod your head, noticing Joel smirk on the screen.

“We should punish her more often, brother. Pity that the slut loves it too much.”

You stick your tongue out at Joel and turn to Tommy.

“Fuck me, daddy. Please.”

“Of course, sweetheart. Your hole’s been clenching the whole time I’ve been slapping your sexy ass. She’s so needy.”

“She is daddy—ahhh,” you purr and moan as he inserts his fat cock into your cunt and begins thrusting into you hard and fast.

“Pussy’s already full of my cum. So wet. Gonna give you more, sweetie.”

“Yeah, ruin this cunt, Tommy,” Joel growls and you stare at his handsome face with half-lidded eyes, reveling in the sensation of Tommy’s cock massaging your walls, and Joel’s black gaze, watching you getting railed.

“Angel,” you hear his voice, calling you. “Can you do something for your dear uncle?”

“Yeah?”

“Stick two fingers into your ass for me.”

You curse, getting more turned on.

“Good idea, Joel,” you hear Tommy’s strained voice as he must be close to coming.

“Get the phone,” Joel says to his younger brother and soon he has a perfect view of your ass and pussy, stretched around Tommy’s cock.

You bring your hand to your asshole and mewl,

“Daddy, help.”

“Of course, my love,” your stepdad coos at you and spreads your asscheeks with his thick fingers, giving you a better access to your tight hole and then spitting right on it.

You jerk at the sensation of his saliva hitting your puckered hole and sliding down your crack. You spread the liquid over and slowly push the tip of your middle finger inside.

“Relax, baby,” Tommy says, slowing down the pace of his cock inside your cunt. Your ass is tight but you take a deep breath, follow his advice, and soon your whole digit sinks into your asshole.

“Yeahhh. Good little slut,” you hear Joel and smile, your cheek pressed to the bed.

Your loud moans fill the room when you begin moving your middle finger at the same speed that Tommy picks up, fucking your pussy.

“Angel, add another one, c’mon,” Joel grunts. “Tommy, faster.”

Joel is directing his brother, who’s fucking his ex stepdaughter. Your juices are sliding down your inner thighs, your eyes roll back while your asshole is getting filled with two fingers. Tommy begins rutting his manhood into your cunt relentlessly, chasing his orgasm, while you are self-fucking your ass.

“Like that, open up that tight hole, angel. Get it nice and ready for your uncle’s fat cock. What a good little slut for us.”

Both of your holes clench hard at his words and it sends Tommy over the precipice.

“Oh yeahhh,” he moans and starts spilling his hot cum into your pussy. The warmth of his load and the squirts, hitting your walls, make you explode on his cock and your fingers. You scream and whimper, while your pussy is getting flooded with Tommy’s thick seed, and your asshole is clamping tight around your fingers.

Tommy finishes emptying his balls into your pulsating cunt and pulls out as your fingers leave your asshole too. You both collapse on the bed, panting and smiling at each other.

“Guess my work there ‘s done. Bye, lovebirds,” you hear Joel’s voice, coming from the phone, lost somewhere in the sheets.

“Wait, wait!” You hastily search for it and when you succeed, ask Joel, your eyes glinting with mischief,

“Are you hard right now, uncle Joel?”

The older brother narrows his eyes at you.

“What d’ you think, angel? I jus’ watched you fuck your own ass like a cock hungry slut.”

You smile proudly, imagining his huge bulge, straining his jeans all because of you.

“Have a nice jerk off session, uncle,” you mock but Joel smirks.

“Don’t think so, baby. Gonna go find a nice wet pussy to fuck in the bathroom.”

With that he ends the call and jealousy burns deep in your belly.

As always attentive to your mood, Tommy swiftly scoops you into his arms and holds you close, while you’re nuzzling his neck.

For a few minutes you two are lying in silence. Tommy’s heartbeat soothes you, floods your soul with affection for the man but you sigh, feeling a pang in your heart that Joel isn’t here.

“He really wanted to come, sweetheart,” Tommy says, as if having read your mind.

You hum, faking indifference, but your heart feels lighter and you tilt your head up to kiss his soft lips and mumble, “I love you, daddy.”

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! 💖

Part 6 | SERIES MASTERLIST I MASTERLIST

Tag list for the series: @milla-frenchy @iamasaddie @koshkaj-blog @survivingandenduring @nana90azevedo @mermaidgirl30 @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @obscurexsorrows @tammythr @ratoonstown @anama-cara @pedge-page @huskyfox5 @ashleyfilm @neverwheremoonchild @stevie75 @untamedheart81 @puduvallee @theoraekenslover @eloquentdreamer @ashhlsstuff @evolnoomym @pinkiec6-rubi @guelyury

Tommy tag @huskyfox5

General tag list:@milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @iamasaddie @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @auteurdelabre @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess @flamingochick55 @theoraekenslover @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @staywildflowahchild @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @evolnoomym @keylimebeag @joelmillerisapunk

If you'd like to be tagged in the series or in anything else let me know!💕

[spermeboy]

pairings: gus kenworthy x male reader

request: Heyyy, I need a part 2 of nudes, please.

warnings: SMUT ! , swearing, cheating, anal sex.

MDNI + FDNI !

Ever since that night that you and Gus spent together, he has been teasing you. Gus has been groping your ass or rubbing his bulge against you any time his girlfriend isn't in sight.

His girlfriend decided to invite you around for drinks. She had a rough day at work and wanted her "gay best friend" as she likes to call you.

It got out of hand when you went into the kitchen to make drinks, and he followed in after you. He snuck up behind you, covering your mouth so you don't let out a startled scream.

"Have you been ignoring me, baby?" Gus whispers in your ear. "I jerk off to that picture you sent me every night." Gus' gave plastered with a smirk.

Gus gently kisses your neck, removing his hand from your mouth. "Gus, we c-cant do this!" You whisper to him as you turn over to face him. Gus places his finger up to your lips,"shhh..".

You immediately fall under his control, just like you were that night just by him shh-ing you. He pulls your body against his, his lips attacking yours.

Gus slides his tongue into your mouth, and you let him without a fight. His tongue explores and dominates your mouth, coating each corner of your mouth with his spit.

His hand travels down through your jeans and into your underwear, he gently wraps his hand around your cock, jerking you off.

He pulls away from the kiss, watching you moan. "I am going to fuck you while my girlfriend is in the other room" he smirks. He flips you over and bends you over the counter.

Gus pulls down your jeans, slapping your ass which causes you to gasp. "Shh! Boy." Gus whispers with a laugh. He pulls his semi-hard cock out slapping it against your ass, "I've missed this hole" he says before pushing it through your tight ring.

He thrust inside of you fully, wrapping his hands round to cover your mouth, silencing you. The sound of slapping echoes throughout the kitchen. "Babe! What's that noise?" Gus' girlfriend shouts out from the living room. "Oh, nothing! Don't worry about it." Gus shouts out, smirking.

"Keep quiet slut" Gus whispers out, his groin slapping against your ass causing it to ripple. "Damn, backshots go crazy!" Gus moans in your ear, you whimper below him.

Gus continues to cover your mouth, keeping your moans at a whimper. His cock thrust in you hard, back and forth rubbing against your g-spot causing your cum to leak pre-cum like a fountain before shooting your load hands free.

Your eyes roll back, and your whimpers get louder as you shoot your load against the counters below. Gus thrust into you a couple more times before painting your walls with his cum, he lays against your back.

He kisses your back before pulling out and zipping up his jeans. "Clean yourself up, baby," he says with a smirk, walking back into the living room. You slide down against the counter breathing heavily, cum seaping out of your hole.

"I need to stop letting him fuck me.." You mumble.

taglist - @starboye @mailmango @dcriddler

[tieronecrush]

so much wine

joel miller x reader

summary: christmas is difficult for joel, with and without you.

rating: M

wc: 2.8k

warnings: no outbreak, angst MAJORLY, alcohol consumption, drunkenness, acts of mild violence (NOT towards reader or any other person, it is toward an inanimate object), joel hating christmas, grief, anger, depression, big big feelings, mention of break up, sad joel, angry joel, resentful joel, reader trying to make christmas nice, um i may be forgetting some so if you notice any big ones lmk!

a/n: ya girl is always on her angst grind. ESPECIALLY around christmas cause....issues. hope you all find the means to enjoy this lil one shot based on one of the saddest but still incredibly beautiful christmas songs. here's the link to the song! tysm to @northernbluess & @kiwisbell for beta-ing and encouraging me to post this. love you both xx

“Tommy?”

“Hey, m’so sorry to be callin’ ya on Christmas Eve. I know…Well, I know this is probably the last thing ya wanna be hearin’ but I really need your help. It’s Joel…” The noise level on the other side increases with a gust of rowdiness, clueing you in that he must be at a bar. You press the phone tighter against your ear, listening to Tommy ramble off reasonings for your help interwoven with profuse apologies. Guilt hangs heavy inside of you, the soft music and glasses clinking in the other room a reminder of your own Christmas Eve plans. How it’s supposed to go every year. Peaceful, light, fun, full of love. Your holiday with Joel looked different. Full of love, yes, but overwhelming, stifling with grief.

“I’ll be right over, Tommy.” You can’t turn away, you can’t hang up and go back to your life tonight. Not with knowing how much pain Joel’s in.

The tree lights up as you stick the plug in the socket, your nightly task for the last month just as the sun sets. Clear, warm bulbs illuminate the otherwise dark living room, shining out to the street as a beacon of a lived-in home. Reflections of warmth bounce off of the shiny glass ornaments littered around the branches, heirlooms from your family, and some you’ve collected yourself. Combined with ones from Joel’s past. It’s not cohesive, but it’s a beautiful smattering of your lives. Pine wafts from the sappy center of the tree, filling the room with the scent of evergreen, tinged with the stuffy warmth from the central heat.

You’d decorated the tree on your own a few weeks ago. Joel helped you pick up the tree from the sale lot in the H.E.B. car park, strapping it down in the bed of his pickup. More than willing to help you get it inside, into the basin, and secure it tightly to avoid any accidents. But that’s when his assistance stopped. No humming along to the Christmas CDs you queued, no suggestions of festive movies to watch, no sneaking some Bailey’s into the mugs of decaf coffee you brewed to keep warm. Instead, he retreated up to your bedroom, shutting the door behind him and effectively shutting you out for the evening.

Tommy’s truck pulls into the driveway, dropping off Joel for the holiday after last-minute projects were tied off. Joel had mentioned grabbing a drink with Tommy, to celebrate another year gone by with their new business venture, Miller Construction. You didn’t think anything of it, wishing him a good day that morning and sending him off while you prepped dinner and baked cookies to bring over to your parent’s house tomorrow.

As you sit down on the couch, Joel fumbles at the door with his keys, finally getting them jammed in and the lock turned. He stumbles inside, tripping over his own feet despite his eyes being trained on them, grumbling to himself as he frustratingly kicks off his boots. You stand up to greet him, a warm smile on your face faltering when he looks back at you with a scowl.

“Need a drink…” he slurs, avoiding you completely in the middle of the living room, frown lit up by the tree. Joel treks to the kitchen, straight for the whiskey bottle that he takes a long pull from before filling a glass halfway. The amber liquid sloshes as he turns to look at you, holding out the crystal tumbler.

“You want some, baby? S’Christmas Eve! Everybody thinks it’s something to celebrate, right?”

It never snows in Austin, but driving down the highway with your windows down, it smells like winter. Crisp, cool air rubbing your cheeks raw, running your nose. Thin air, fresh. A medicinal feeling, like inhaling the menthols you used to smoke. It’s freezing, but you can’t bring yourself to roll up the windows, to close yourself into your car as you cruise on the open roads. Everyone’s tucked away at home, with family or friends, while you drive towards something as familiar, but much more grisly.

Christmas carols crack over the stereo, painting visions of picture-perfect holidays, the feelings of joy, love, belonging, and warmth that you’ve craved for him since you met him. Something you so desperately wanted to drip back into his life from your hand, dribbling water to a lightless soul.

The glass is empty now, bottle as hollow as Joel’s eyes look. He stands in front of the tree, studying the decorations with a freshly opened bottle of wine in his grip, one you were meant to bring to your parents tomorrow. His brows haven’t relaxed, not one stitch unsewn since he walked in the door. Mumbles of anger have rolled from his chest, never directed toward you, but aimed at the world around him. At the holiday. At the lack of presents addressed to his daughter under the tree, the missing duties of playing Santa.

You met Joel after Sarah passed. He spoke about her often, telling you all about his little girl who was funny, bright, bubbly, better than him in every way. She’s been gone for a handful of years now, the tragedy worn on Joel’s face and in his curls; aged and grayed. He was still so handsome, still held a smile for you despite the deep, open aches he feels the pains of every day.

Never having a holiday with him, you didn’t know that this is ‘just how he is’. Tommy had heeded some warnings to you, had called you in a whisper as he pulled away from the house that evening with apologies — ‘I tried to cut him off, but when I left for a minute to go to the bathroom, he’d gotten the bartender to pour him another double…I tried to take it, but he wouldn’t…’

You expected feelings these days, this month, the whole season. How could a father not miss his only child when the rest of everyone’s happiness, luck, blessings are thrown back in his face? But this…this was a different Joel. Someone angry, someone cursing his own existence. He fumbled around the living room, shoving the coffee table when he bumped into it, picking tinsel off the tree and tossing it to the ground.

At the time, it seemed like a good idea to intervene. To attempt to talk him into bed, or at least into eating something and laying down on the couch. Other issues to address in the morning when he was sober.

Now, you know that was a mistake.

“What do you want from me? What does my brother want from me? Am I just supposed to get over it so everyone can have their merry little Christmas?” His voice strings words together, his drawl thicker with inebriation. Wine splatters across the kitchen tile, Joel’s arms swinging around as he speaks with his hands.

“No one is ever asking or expecting you to get over it, Joel. We just—I don’t want you to be like…to feel like this. Sarah wouldn’t want you to—”

He doesn’t raise his voice. Joel never raises his voice. The calm chill of his voice sends a wash of anxiety over your entire body, words punching clear now despite his physical state.

“Enough. Don’t even say that 'cause you wouldn’t fucking know.”

The freezing air fills your lungs, choking out as it stifles your inhale. Strong heaves of breaths expand your lungs before they squeeze out with sharp exhales, the coughing fit morphing into sobs. Tears blur your vision, flowing over your waterline and burning hot against your cheeks. Carving trails across your face with iron branding. Find the same paths of all their predecessors, all that came before them for the very same reasons.

You manage to pull off to the side of the road to compose yourself, parking near enough to your exit. Slipping out of the driver’s seat, you open the door and tumble out, talking yourself down from hysterics. Wading through the thick emotions, the unresolved slashings of anger and frustration, the unanswered love.

Facing the midnight sky, twinkling spots stare back at you, reminding you of your size in the world. How large everything feels, how all-consuming. How it doesn’t seem to be felt all the same by the one person you want it from. Need it from.

Struck with a flash of a star falling against the black backdrop, there’s a brief moment when you think it’s Santa Claus. In his sleigh pulled by reindeer, riding around to deliver joy to families across the world. Another reminder of how small you feel. How much like a kid you feel. Unsure of where you stand in his life, uncertainty facing your future, undecided in what is the right thing to do.

The sky kaleidoscopes in your watery eyes, small shining bursts gazing back at you. And your first thought is how similar they look to Joel’s eyes that night. Sad, glossy, shimmering with anger that sat long enough to finally introduce itself as grief.

You stayed out of the way after that. Let him drink himself into a hole. Dinner is left untouched until the later evening when you wrap it all up and store it away in the fridge. Noting another bottle of wine gone from the cabinet.

Joel’s corralled upstairs with less persuasion the drunker he’s gotten, craving the comfort of your shared bed the closer he gets to passing out. He trips over his feet while you walk behind him, a hand pressing into his lower back to direct him. Hiccups shake his body. Teeth stained red. Life sucked from the day, no more chances at honoring memories, no more magic left to make something special for Joel. Nothing that can sprinkle some goodness into his life.

He’s got an iron grip on his resentment, on his rage. Understandably.

But that grip drops his hand from his happiness, from his comfort, from his remembrance. It all slips through his fingers now, grains of sand falling through the lines in his palms, the ridges of his fingerprints. What was so ingrained in him, years ago with his daughter, days ago with you, is easily forgotten as the monster of misery uses your kindhearted man as a vessel. Rendering him unrecognizable.

Taking in his sleeping form, fully clothed and half covered with a quilt. He was out as soon as his head hit the pillow, his coping catching up with him to finally receive the desired effect — feeling nothing. Turning his brain off completely, emptying him to float in a void for at least one night.

His lips parted with slow, even breaths. Brows relax, falling back to lift his eyes, despite them being closed. Delicate eyelashes lay against his cheeks, and you watch as a smattering of exhausted tears slip from the corners of his shut eyes. No more stubborn will to hold them back. The first real emotion you’ve witnessed all evening.

It’s another moment before you turn away, filling the empty glass at his bedside with water from the bathroom tap. Avoiding his soft sleeping form and your empty side of the mattress, you pack a small bag to retreat to your parent's house, a short note left for Joel in the morning inviting him over when he’s feeling up for it.

One last glance at him drives an ice pick into your heart, warm blood pooling around your feet matching the shade of red on his lips. It feels cruel, to pack up and leave for the night, but without knowing if this charade continues through the next day, you don’t quite feel like sticking around to find out.

The bar is busier than you would have thought, with a good amount of groups growing rowdy for the holiday. You imagine they are there drinking in camaraderie, in celebration. The opposite to your Joel. He’s slumped over the bar in his green flannel, hugging his broad frame that shields him from the joy raucous of the room.

Tommy stands next to him, hand on his shoulder in an attempt to draw him away from the wooden bartop, to get him away from the stool and the glass filled with amber liquid.

When the bartender greets you while you approach, Tommy turns toward you, sighing and shaking his head as he leans into his older brother to mumbling loud enough for your to overhear as you settle behind Joel’s seat, “M’sorry I had to do this, Joel, but you’ve got to get home…”

Joel grumbles, shrugging off his brother’s hand. When he’s turned to address his brother with a protest, he catches you in the periphery, reacting with a molasses-like double take. Angling in your direction from his perch on the worn leather barstool, his eyes widen in shock, and he swallows hard. The drink in his hand is left discarded on the bar top, Tommy signaling for the bartender to come by and grab it while Joel stands dumbfounded by the presence of you.

“Sweetheart…”

The name is a punch in the gut, recalling every other time it raised goosebumps in its wake while it was whispered against your skin, each time it was tacked onto a gentle tease, each time it was spoken in place of feelings he couldn’t, he wouldn’t, communicate to you.

Recovering quickly, you right yourself internally, rising tall and holding your shoulders back while tender kindness masks your anguish. A head shake draws up a watery expression despite your efforts, your smile plastering onto your expression. Joel frowns, seeing straight through the guise.

“C’mon, Joel. Let’s get you home, yeah?”

Both of you stare at the hand of yours laid on his bicep, radiating heat from the contact that starts to melt the ice that froze your feelings for him in place those months ago. Joel is the first to look away, the burn of his saucer eyes drilling into your profile.

“No. No, I don’t need to—” he argues, always a mule.

“Joel,” you interrupt, voice thickened with sentiment, “please. I wanna go home. Let’s go home.”

The statement isn’t a lie. The furthest thing from an untruth.

It’s exactly what you have been wanting to say to him for months, feeling untethered and lost. You’ve been aimlessly searching for that same solace elsewhere. In other places, in other people. Nothing could compare. Joel is home. And all you want to do is return, to feel safe and warm and welcomed at home. To feel as if there is room for you there, that you aren’t driven out by the torment that tortures Joel, and in turn, you.

That’s what gets him to agree. The promise of home, with you there with him. The same piece he’s felt missing, the second heart of his home stripped from him because of his unwillingness to let up his grip on his anger and resentment. Because of his resistance to cradle his comfort, his contentment, his love for you.

“You wanna go home?” A nod answers him, rolling his actions into motion, “Okay, okay. M’gon—gonna take you home, baby. We can…I can give you your gift.”

“Sure, honey. We can do that in the morning,” you counter, the corners of your mouth turning up for a split second when Joel agrees.

His large form falls from the stool and into his brother when he attempts to get up. It’s a dance between the three of you to get him into your car and to his place. Tommy follows, there to drag him up the stairs with you behind, a hand on Joel’s lower back. He preens into every touch from you, glancing over his shoulder to check that you’re still there. That you haven’t left again. You can’t help but notice the living room illuminated by a Christmas tree, the smell of pine filling the house and the delicate glass ornaments placed carefully around the tree. He tried this year.

You do stay. This time you’re sitting with it all, ready for the confrontation of the next day. With Tommy gone, you and Joel are left alone with each other for the first time in months. In your old bedroom of all places.

Joel sits at the edge of the bed, head hanging in shame while you kneel in front of him, tentatively laying a hand on his knee.

If this time is going to be different, you need a reason to stay. A single brick taken out of his walls, the signal of the start of a wreckage that you will happily clear so long as you can have your Joel feel like a semblance of himself again.

“You’re always gonna see the bottom of your glass, Joel. Nothing can save you from that, not even all the drink in the world. It’s all still going to be there. You have to decide to face it.”

It’s quiet for a moment, the only sounds filling the room are your slow breaths in sync with each other’s. Joel picks his head up, angling it to look down at you directly. Tears have carved channels into his face, fight leaving his eyes as he opens his mouth to speak in a rasped whisper.

“Sarah always loved Christmas...”

taglist: @northernbluess @atinylittlepain @swiftispunk @joelsversion @mrsmando @ilovepedro @lovers-liability @deathwife @undrthelights @atticrissfinch @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @addictedtotlou @brittmb115 @anoverwhelmingdin @spishsstuff @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @harriedandharassed @decemberdolly @laiisleitte @fierce-bab @vickie5446 @pertinentpostmortem @livingdeadmaria @sullyosully @bitchwitch1981 @its-nebuleuse @marini03 @piercethevic03 @joeandpedrosimp @kiwisbell @planet-marz1 @txtattoostark @jrosie25 @tbniarq @vee-bees-blog @thereaperisabitch @spidermanfrog @belliezz @joelsflannel @cartoon-garbage04 @bianqueee04 @nostalxgic @xyzstar @cumberpegg @b00klvrs @burningnerdchild

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Same Team! A YJH Office Romance Pt. 6

Idol!Jeonghan x ProductionStaff!Reader

You’re serious about your job, but not as serious as Yoon Jeonghan is about flirting.

~3k words

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Series Content: slooowwwwww burn, fluff! but with tension!, cute flirting!, will-they-won’t-they vibes!, did I mention tension!?, some alcohol consumption, appearances by all of the members, reader is shy and gets flustered easily!, jeonghan is jeonghan-ing!

My Masterlist

Author’s Note: The plot thickens!! Thank you for everyone who has read this far! I can’t stop thinking about these two! I just love a mischievous king and a buttoned-up queen! This part is kinda long, but we get a confession!!! The tension is palpable!! Thank you so much for reading!! Mentions of S.Coups and Dino in this part. (Also, sorry for portraying Dino as a lowkey alcoholic, I know he does other things besides drink! Lol).

Taglist: @yeoberryx @clownprincehoeshi @soffiyuhh  @wonwoos-wineparty @hamji-hae @junniesoleilkth (let me know if you want to be added!)

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

You weren’t exactly avoiding Yoon Jeonghan... but you weren’t not avoiding him.

Ever since he’d given you a ride home, you would jump at any tasks that required you to go somewhere far away from him—on errands for other members, early subunit shoots that lasted most of the day with a team he wasn’t on, staying late to break down equipment... anything that made you too busy to stop and give him the chance to talk with you again.

There was no denying it, you had a full-blown crush on Yoon Jeonghan. And you were doing everything in your power to make it disappear.

I feel like a teenager... you thought as you sat at your desk, searching for food options in the area of an upcoming GoSe shoot—the crew and the members were going to be there all day and you had been tasked with finding lunch options.

Paris Fashion Week was only a little over a month away, and you couldn’t get the image of Jeonghan leaning forward against his steering wheel and asking you to hang out again... Guilt suddenly rushing through you at how you’d been avoiding him...

You replayed that whole night pretty often in your head, actually. The moment he invited you out with him and Joshua and Dino, the way he draped his arm so casually against the back of your chair, the way he looked driving you home, him saying that you seemed trustworthy... You would catch yourself spacing out, rerunning the moments play-by-play in your head, only to come crashing back down to reality.

“What are you spacing out about?” Jiyeon’s voice came from behind you. She had been a little nicer to you since Jeonghan called her out that one time. But she was still a pain to deal with.

“Nothing,” you said quickly.

“Well, they’re asking for you downstairs.”

“Who is?”

“Dino wants you to film a challenge of him and Seungcheol,” she said with a noticeable roll of her eyes.

Oh, good. You were relieved that Jeonghan wasn’t involved. You had been behaving so awkwardly around him. When you couldn’t avoid him, he always greeted you. You either bowed, even though he’d made it clear you didn’t need to, or you just completely froze. You were so embarrassed—you had been working together for months! Also, nothing had happened between you two!! These were things you yelled inside your own head, but it was pointless. Every time he walked through the door, it was like the floor had disappeared and you were floating through space, totally unaware of how to behave or what to say to him.

You knew that you weren’t like this around the other members—if anything, you’d gotten more comfortable around them. You’d even gone to drinks with Mingyu, Dino, and Minghao a couple of weeks ago—your second time spending casual time outside of work with the members. It had been nothing like the time you went out with Jeonghan. You’d felt relaxed enough to get tipsy and ended up having a fun time. You weren’t preoccupied with how you were coming off or whether you were saying the wrong thing around most of the members anymore. You’d even started drunkenly arguing with Minghao in Chinese, which Dino had embarrassingly caught on video.

Deep down, you knew you were being obvious and idiotic about this stupid, dead-end crush. You were both adults! And you worked together! You could be friends!! Why was this so difficult!?

The lines of text in your contract kept flashing before your eyes, despite how much you told yourself this was going nowhere.

Romantic relationships between employees are strictly prohibited and will result in the immediate termination of your position.

You tried to repeat this to yourself like a mantra until you realized that you were being completely delusional. Jeonghan has never said that he wanted to form a romantic relationship with you. You just got drinks the one time and got a ride home with him. He was being nice for your birthday, that’s all.

These were the thoughts rushing around in your head when Jiyeon snapped her fingers in front of your face.

“God, wake up! Did you not hear me? Dino asked specifically for you for some reason, so hurry down there!” she said, annoyed.

“Sorry!” You said frantically as you rushed downstairs. Jiyeon was being annoying, but you knew she was right: you were here because it was your job. You needed to stop spacing out and focus on what you were paid to focus on: helping the members with their content.

“Nunaaaa!” Dino said as soon as you entered the practice room. He and Seungcheol were going to do a cutesy challenge together. A favorite fan combo: the youngest and the oldest.

“Dinoooo,” you said in a silly voice. You and Dino had become friends at this point, which made you feel so relieved. He was like your cute little brother who came to you for advice, not to mention for help with his English and his dance challenges. You turned to see Seungcheol sitting against the wall, looking at his phone. He looked up and smiled at you. Seungcheol was easy to talk to. He was committed to being professional, which you appreciated, and you’d gotten to know him a bit more than some of the other members since he often spoke with the staff and was more involved in some of the content and scheduling. He really acted like a leader, on and off camera. You bowed slightly at him.

And then you saw someone sitting not too far from him—a designer bucket hat covered most of his face, but you would recognize those lips, that hair, that frame... you would recognize Yoon Jeonghan anywhere.

“Ah, hello,” you said, switching to a more formal voice and bowing.

“Y/N-nuna, why are you getting all formal with me!? Just say hi!” Jeonghan jokingly chided you and you felt like your chest was going to explode.

“Sorry,” you said, still using the formal language, “What are you doing here?”

“Ah, he won’t leave me alone about getting something to eat,” Seungcheol said, standing and putting his phone away.

“I’m hungry!” Jeonghan whined in a cute voice. God, you both loved and hated it when he did that. He was too good at being playful—he was able to get almost anything he wanted out of the staff, you included of course.

“I have to go to the gym first!” Seungcheol whined back. “Let’s get this over with.” He turned back to you, and you took out one of the many phones that the staff shared for this kind of thing. If the members kept everything they filmed on their own phones, they’d be overheating so much they wouldn’t be able to communicate when needed. So there were a handful of phones that were used for challenges and other random stuff, most of them only had social media apps installed. 

“I’m just here to watch,” Jeonghan said, and he went back to leaning against the far wall of the studio.

You looked at him, and he lifted his head slightly to reveal a devilish grin underneath his bucket hat. He was looking right at you.

How am I supposed to keep my hands steady to film this challenge while you’re here?? You thought desperately.

“Okay, let’s get this over with,” you said quietly. The challenge was an easy one, it only took a few takes—mostly because Seungcheol kept cringing at himself, which made Dino and you laugh, and then made Jeonghan laugh. You felt the tension start to mercifully dissolve.

“Let’s go eat!” Jeonghan said as soon as you decided on a video that would work. “Nuna come with us!” He looked at you so decisively that it took you a second to understand.

“Ah, yes,” Seungcheol said, giving you an unmistakable expression of relief, “you take him! I have to go work out first.” What is he, our shared toddler? You thought, even if you were already starting to get excited and nervous at the thought of eating with Jeonghan.

“I want to come!” Dino said. Okay, probably for the best, you thought. But some small part of you was... disappointed? This is getting out of hand.

“I can’t!” you said reflexively, your heartbeat in a frenzy. Your face had flushed as soon as you saw him, but you could feel it growing a deeper and deeper shade of red.

“What do you mean, ‘you can’t?’” Dino asked.

“That’s right,” Jeonghan said, “I thought nuna liked hanging out with us.” He was looking right at you again, standing now as Dino and Seungcheol gathered their things.

“I can give you a ride home again,” Jeonghan’s voice was lower, and more direct. You looked at him, and realized how close he was... He was looking at you so expectantly, one corner of his mouth turned up into the sexiest smirk you’d ever seen.

Jesus.

“Okay, let’s go,” you said, finally relenting. “But I’m not drinking!”

“Ugh, no fun,” Dino said as he walked ahead of you, leaving you and Jeonghan trailing behind.

“You don’t have to drink,” Jeonghan said, clapping you on the shoulder. You practically jumped at the sudden touch, and you swore you could see Jeonghan laughing to himself out of the corner of your eye. “I’m just glad you’re not ignoring me anymore.”

Your head snapped toward him at his words, purred out in a low voice right next to you.

“I haven’t been ignoring you,” you said futilely.

“You’re such a bad liar,” Jeonghan chuckled at you, his smirk still glued to his face as his dark eyes roved over you. “It’s so cute nuna.”

This was a bad idea, you thought. Your nerves couldn’t handle going out to dinner with Yoon Jeonghan.

He smiled beside you, his own chest thrumming quietly with relief.

***

The place was fashioned in the style of a Japanese izakaya, tucked away on a side street, on the basement level of a narrow building. There was almost no one there. You wondered how the members knew which places would be quiet and deserted. It must be knowledge that grew over time when you’re famous. It was probably second nature for them.

“Let’s drink beer!” Dino said excitedly, waving the bartender over as you sat between him and Jeonghan at the sleek but cozy dark wood bar. The bar stools were crammed together in the small space, and you felt your leg almost touching Jeonghan’s.

Once again, you wondered how you ended up here. How did you end up getting invited out like this? Why had Jeonghan been looking at you so much? Why had he clapped you on the shoulder?

You were deep in your thoughts, pretending to look at the menu, when you felt Jeonghan’s thigh press gently against yours. Your head jerked in his direction by reflex, but he was just smirking to himself and pretending to look at the menu. You tried to pull your thigh away, but he kept pressing his leg further toward you.

You let out a nervous laugh involuntarily.

“What?” Dino said, having completely missed your little vying-for-territory exchange.

“Nothing,” you said, your heart hammering out of control.

“Whoa, you’re already red nuna,” Dino said, “we’re not even drinking yet.”

“I overheat easily,” you said, trying to cool off your cheeks with the back of your hand. Jeonghan was leaning on the bar now, giving his order to the bartender.

“Two of these,” he said, pointing to the menu, “one for her and one for me.” You could only stare at him.

You may have been inexperienced in the romance department, but you weren’t an idiot. He was definitely flirting, and it was driving you insane.

You tried to maintain your composure, focusing mainly on having a conversation with Dino. But occasionally, you would feel Jeonghan’s thigh pressing against yours, making you stutter or blush and snap your gaze in his direction—only to be met with his typical smirk. You nervously downed more and more beer, Dino at least two glasses ahead of you.

“I have to piss,” he said suddenly, his face beet red.

“Uh oh,” Jeonghan said, “Dino’s drunk.”

“I’m not drunk!” Dino said, “you’re drunk...” and he staggered off toward the bathroom.

“Should we—” you started to get up to follow Dino, mostly because you didn’t want to be left alone with Jeonghan, but also because he really did seem wasted.

“He’s fine,” Jeonghan’s hand closed around your forearm, gently pushing you back down into your seat. You were so close to him that you could smell his perfume. He was looking right at you—staring at your face again. You felt yourself start to panic and looked away.

“Nuna’s so pretty,” Jeonghan said softly, and you turned to stare at him, incredulous.

“Stop making fun of me,” you said, your heartbeat skyrocketing to dangerous levels.

“I’m not!” his eyes got wider, and he straightened up a little in his barstool.

“Then what are you doing?” you asked, your tone coming out more bristled than you meant it to. Jeonghan paused, his face falling ever so slightly.

“Ah, nuna do you hate me?” He was using a playful tone, but you weren’t sure if he was asking as a joke or not.

“No!” you said firmly, now feeling panicked for an entirely different reason, “not at all!”

“Then why were you ignoring me?”

Is he drunk? You wondered as you watched his face fall into a full-blown pout. He was leaning kind of close to you... Did I hurt his feelings? You couldn’t help but wonder. He was playing idly with the edge of a napkin, glancing in your direction... and reality started to settle in your chest.

Holy shit, he’s not kidding. You thought.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little excited by this. You tried to calm your thoughts, already careening out of control. Was he interested in you? Was he messing around? Did he do this with new staff? It’s not like he got a lot of opportunities to flirt or even talk to women outside of the staff or other people in the industry... Was he just being playful? Your mind was so muddled with all of the possibilities, overwhelmed by any one of them... but you did your best to breath steadily, finally facing him and gazing directly into his beautiful, dark eyes.

“Yoon Jeonghan-shi.”

You had never used such a straightforward tone with him, and he stopped playing with the edge of his napkin—staring at you instead, stock still. His gaze was expectant, and you held it for a long time. You’d said his name so seriously, but now you weren’t sure how to ask what you wanted to ask...

“I’m bored!!” Dino came crashing back to where you were sitting, throwing one arm around Jeonghan’s shoulders.

Your timing!! Dino!!! You couldn’t help but scream inside. Jeonghan looked visibly annoyed, which you hadn’t seen before.

“Ya~!” He said in a raised voice, and Dino stood up straighter. He looked at Jeonghan, then at you, then back at Jeonghan.

“What’s going on here?” he asked. Even wasted, he could’ve cut the tension between the two of you with a knife.

“Nothing,” Jeonghan said before you could interject, “nuna and I were just chatting.” He looked at you seriously, and you understood that you should keep... whatever that was between the two of you.

“You both look like someone died, snap out of it!” Dino yelled, “let’s go to karaoke!”

“Let’s get you a car home,” Jeonghan said, pulling out his phone.

“I’m fine!” Dino insisted, but he was literally hiccupping like a cartoon. After some bickering, Jeonghan convinced him to go home—almost actually pushing him into the car.

The two of you were left standing on the deserted street, the warm glow of the izakaya’s lights hitting your backs. Jeonghan looked away from you, but you could tell the vibe had shifted. You were both a little tipsy...

“I’m sorr—”

“Nuna—”

Just as you were about to apologize for what happened inside, Jeonghan turned to you and spoke in a deeper, softer voice than you usually heard from him. You froze, licking your lips out of nervousness and feeling hesitant to continue.

“Nuna,” Jeonghan said again, then stopped. He exhaled sharply from his nose and looked across the street. Whatever it was that he wanted to say was not coming easily to him, which made your heartrate accelerate at an alarming pace.

“...Yes?” you asked, feeling awkward and exhilarated at the same time.

You stood there, until Jeonghan turned directly to you—staring right into your eyes.

 “I think you’re beautiful.”

All you could do was stare at him in stunned silence.

“I think lots of things about you, actually. I want to talk to you. I want to spend more time with you. I think about you when we’re not at work. I wonder what you’re doing, who you’re with, what your house is like, what you do for fun... I try to find you when we are working. I wonder what you think of me. I get sad and frustrated when you avoid me.”

He was stepping closer and closer to you, as this stream of words that you could barely understand or believe came pouring out, all while he held your gaze.

“I don’t think I can say that I have feelings for you, but I am very interested in seeing you.”

He looked at you, the air between you now full of anticipation. You didn’t know what to say, or even what facial expression you might be making... This was... was this really happening?

“Is this really happening?” you barely whispered.

Jeonghan smirked, and your heart felt completely overcome.

“Jeonghan-shi...” you said slowly, “... I'm...” But the words couldn't come. Your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest, and your legs were threatening to give out...

"I'm sorry—"

[iwillreachmydream]

Ana’s list of FORBIDDEN FOODS (&why)

- cookies & biscuit (once u start eating them, u can’t stop)

- any kind of spread, e.g nutella, jam, honey, butter, peanut butter… (SUPER high calorie, filled with addictive sugars)

- white bread (again, addictive and fattening, if u need energy grab a protein bar or zero energy drink)

- cheese (the calories, the fat content, the SALT)

- full fat yogurt (full fat, repeat with me, f u l l FAT)

- milk (drink almond milk u cow, it tastes better)

- chocolate (again, grab a protein bar if u need an energy boost)

- nuts (way too many calories for something that barely tastes good)

- pasta (so easy to eat like 800 calories in between the portions, oil, sauce, cheese…)

- dried fruit (eat normal, hydrated fruit???)

- sugary gum and candy (chew on zero cal gum and eat sugar-free lollipops instead)

- pizza (a single slice has minimum 200 cal. that’s an f ing meal girl)

- chips, nachos, crisps… (again, so easy to overeat and not be anywhere near full. oh and the SALT)

- liquid calories, e.g smoothies, juice, sodas, cocktails, starbucks coffee… (you literally have all versions of sodas with zero calories, i don’t even know why you would drink regular coke tbh)

- oil. O I L S. olive oil, coconut oil, avocado oil…(you know how many calories those have??? cook with a non stick pan or add water, idc, just don’t use oil)

- fried sh i t (i call it that way cause once something has been contaminated by that calorie consuming frying pan it just stops being food and becomes garbage. and your mouth is NOT a garbage can)

- ice cream (use protein alternatives, like halo top, or low call ones like popsicles)

- salad dressing. or any type of dressing. (if it’s a good salad you can enjoy it by seasoning it with salt, pepper, oregano… idc just stay away from that calorie, sugar filled scheme)

[callsign-magnolia]

Undiagnosed // Ch. 20

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, trauma response, abusive parents, smut.

Word Count:

Chapter 19 | Masterlist

“Katie? Darlin’ you ready?” Jake yelled out. I was fixing a curl in my mirror when I replied. “I’m coming!” I yelled out, grabbing the small wallet to put in my jeans and walked downstairs. “Why are you rush…ing me?” I stared at Jake who stood in front of me in blue jeans, a large belt buckle, a light blue pearl snap shirt, black stetson and fringed chaps. “Woah.” He muttered. “Yeah, woah.” I said, looking at him. He looked so good. “You okay?” He asked and I nodded, smiling at him once I broke out of my trance. “You got a little drool right there.” I said, pointing to the corner of his lips and he quickly wiped his face. “You look gorgeous.” He said, coming around the couch and taking my waist in his hands. “And you look hot.” I said without thinking and my face grew warm with a blush. He chuckled, his hand coming up and cupping my cheek. “Thank you, darlin’.” He said, leaning forward and kissing my forehead. “Okay, the finishing touch.” Jake said. He walked over to the dining room table and grabbing a box. “Here.” He said, holding out the box towards me. “Take the lid off.” He said. I raised a brow but lifted the lid and gasped at what was inside. “Jake.” I said, pulling the white stetson out. “It’s beautiful.” I said. It was a pure snow white with a light brown leather strap around it. “I figured if you were going to dress as a cowgirl, you need a real cowgirl hat.” He said, setting the box down and gently placing the hat on my head. 

“You look gorgeous.” He said, leaning down and kissing my cheek. “Are you ready?” He asked and I nodded. I slid a small wallet and my phone in my back pocket and followed Jake out, stopping in front of the mirror we had hanging up in the foyer. I admired myself for a minute before a smile grew on my face. “Darlin’?” He asked and I turned, taking his hand and letting him lead me out to the truck. “What do you think everyone else will be dressed as?” I asked him when we were halfway there. He shrugged and squeezed my thigh. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to find out.” He said, grinning at me. It wasn’t long before we pulled up to a house with cars overflowing in the driveway. Jake parked in the road and got out, rushing around to my side. “You okay?” He asked as he took my hand and helped me out. I know that no one like Coop is going to be here, but I still worry.

“Yeah, just a little nervous.” I said and he smiled at me, leaning down and kissing my forehead. “It’ll be okay. But if you ever want to leave just say the words and we’re out.” He said and I nodded, smiling up at him. “Alright.” With that he locked the truck, squeezed my hand and led us to the front door. Once there he rang the doorbell and we waited for a second before it swung open and revealed Mav in front of us in black pants and a black tank top. “Hey guys!” He said before pulling Jake into a hug and reaching for me, catching me off guard. “Hey Mav.” I said and he moved for us to step in. “Glad to see y’all made it!” He was so excited and probably had a few drinks at this point. “Come on, Penny is out back with everyone else.” We followed him out back to find the large back yard lit up, tables set up with lots of food and drinks. “Wow, y’all went all out.” Jake said and Mav nodded. “Go big or go home, right?” He said, laughing. “Help yourself to drinks, there’s plenty for everyone.” With that Mav walked away and Jake turned to me. “What do you want?” He asked, slowly walking us over to the table on the porch. “A beer will be fine.” I told him and he raised a brow at me. “You want a beer?” He asked, reaching in and pulling out a bottle. “Yeah,” I nodded. “Gotta branch out eventually.” He chuckled, popped the top off and handed it to me. “Whatever my girl wants, my girl gets.” He opened his own beer before wrapping a hand around my waist and leading me off the porch into the crowd. It wasn’t a huge crowd, but not small either. 

“Rooster.” Jake called, and a man in a brown leather jacket and khakis turned around to face us. He had a bag slung over his shoulder and a whip attached to his waist. I smirked as we approached and he flicked his hat up. “I always knew someday you'd come walking back through my door.” I said and he chuckled before pulling me into a hug. “Hey, that’s my line!” I turned to see Natasha walking over in a stunning white dress with a white rose on it. “This,” I said, pointing at her Marion Ravenwood costume. “Is scary accurate. You look exactly like her.” I said and she smiled, holding the dress out slightly. “You think?” She asked and Jake nodded. “Rooster could look like Indiana, but he’d have to shave the mustache first.” Rooster immediately covered his mustache. “The mustache goes nowhere. It stays.” He said, making us laugh. Soon a song came on and Jake dragged me into a dance. He pulled my body flush against his, his thigh almost between mine as his hand rested on my back, and my arm slung around his shoulder. “I’m very proud of my costume choices.” He said, smirking down at me, not hiding the fact his eyes drifted across my breasts. “Mhm, I’m sure you are Mr. Seresin.” I said and he roughly tugged me closer. “Say it again.” His voice dropped an octave and I wanted to melt in his arms. “Mr.Seresin.” He leaned down kissing me possessively. “Damn, do I want to take you home right now.” He said and I giggled, kissing his cheek. “But we just got here and I wanna stay.” I said, whining slightly. He just chuckled and smiled at me. “Fine, but you’re all mine later.” He said, and I smiled up at him. “I’m yours every night.” 

“Well don’t you two look cozy.” I looked behind Jake and laughed. Jake raised a brow and turned around and laughed with me. “This is hilarious!” Bob, Payback, Coyote and Fanboy were all dressed up in Ghostbusters costumes. “I think they’re pretty accurate!” Payback said, spinning around. “They are!” I said, tugging on his jumpsuit. “It just matches y’all’s personality so well.” They all grinned and struck a pose, making us laugh. “How about you get me another beer, then we can have another dance.” I said, resting my hand on Jake’s chest and he just smiled at me before nodding and heading for a cooler. “There’s so many people here.” It was a very crowded party. “Mav was very selective about who he invited.” Fanboy said as he stood next to me. “Is that your way of telling me I have nothing to worry about?” I asked and he chuckled. “Yeah. It is.” I smiled as Jake came back and handed me a second beer. “So, about that second dance?” He asked and I laughed, nodding. “Whenever you want.” 

We spent the next few hours dancing and Jake kept a constant rotation of drinks in my hand. “Okay,” I said, fumbling my words slightly. “I have to go pee. I’ll be right back.” I leaned up and kissed him. “Alright, darlin’.” With that I turned and walked away inside the house. I had to stop and think because I couldn’t remember exactly where Penny told me the bathroom was, but thankfully after a minute I found it. I went inside, seeing my mascara gathering under my eyes slightly. I giggled at myself in the mirror before cleaning up my face and using the bathroom. Once I was done, I washed my hands and fixed my hair in the mirror before admiring myself. I swung the bathroom door open, stepping out and starting down the hall. “Hey.” My eyes were a little cloudy as I looked up. While his face wasn’t clear, I knew immediately who it was by the height and the cologne. “What are you doing here?” My voice was steady when I said it, no ounce of fear could be detected, while deep down I was absolutely terrified. “It’s a party isn’t it?” Blake responded. “Besides, I haven’t seen you in a while. Thought we could catch up.” His hands fell to my waist and he stumbled forward as I backed myself into the wall. “Don’t touch me.” I snapped, smacking his hands from my waist but he was persistent. “Oh come on, Katie. We could’ve had so much fun that night on our date.” I scoffed, the adrenaline sobering me up some. “If you consider a broken nose fun then sure.” I said as I side stepped away from him. “Broken bones heal. We could give it one more shot.” He grinned at me. “You need to leave. Now! I have never had an interest in you and I never will. I have a boyfriend and I love him. So leave.” I snapped at him. “Hangman?” He laughed, gripping my wrist tightly. “He doesn’t love you, Katie. He’s too self absorbed to love anyone but himself. He’s only keeping you around because you boost his ego.” I knew he was only trying to get in my head. “You know nothing about him. Now let me go!” I said, lifting my right foot and kicking him in the gut, effectively sending him to the floor. 

His body thudded against the floor just as Natasha came around the corner. “Oh hell no. Bradley!” She said. “It’s okay, Natasha. I’ve got this handled.” I stormed towards him just as he was trying to get up. “Come on.” I hoisted him up and managed to drag him into the living room just as Bradley walked in, Mav and Jake behind him. “Katie-” Natasha stopped him. “She’s got this.” She said and Blake could hardly get his feet under him while I had him by a belt loop and the collar of his shirt. “Alright Blake.” I opened the door and stood him up straight and he turned on me. “I’ll make you regret everything, you little bitch.” He said and I smirked. “I don’t think I will. Bye, Blake.” I gave him a smile and wave, before once again, lifting my foot and literally kicking him out the door before I slammed it. I turned to everyone, a wide grin on my face. “You okay?” Jake asked, eyeing me warily. “I am great!” I said and he smiled, coming over to me and pulling me into his arms. “I love you, and that was so hot.” He whispered the last part because everyone was staring at us. “It’s a party!” I said. “Let’s go back outside and have fun!” I said. Jake grabbed my hand, pulling me back towards the backyard, following everyone else. 

We partied until about two a.m. and Jake carried me back out to the truck. “I had so much fun.” I slurred and he laughed. Jake only had two beers when we got here and quit drinking by ten p.m. “You definitely did, Darlin’.” He set me down long enough to open the door and help me in before buckling my seat belt and kissing my head. The ride home was quiet except for the radio playing quietly and me humming along. As we got home I had sobered up and managed to trudge my way up the stairs. I felt exhausted and just wanted to curl up with Jake and sleep. We got undressed, took a quick shower before crawling into our bed. “I’m proud of you for tossing him out like that.” Jake said as he tossed his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into him. “It felt good to put my foot down.” I responded and we sat in silence for a minute until he opened his mouth to ask what I knew would come up eventually. “Did he-” “Yes he made a pass at me, and I told him no and that I loved you.” I looked up at him, a small smile on my face as his finger brushed across my cheek. “He also tried to get in my head and tell me you didn’t actually love me, but I know better.” He smiled down at me, his nose brushing my own. “I’m so happy that I’ve made it clear how I feel for you, Katie. I don’t ever want you to doubt my feelings for you.” I smiled and kissed him softly. “I won’t Jake. I promise.” He squeezed me closer to him, cradling me as I drifted off to sleep. 

The following Monday was Halloween and I was more than happy when class was over. “Think you and Jake will have a bunch of kids come by for candy?” Annie asked. “I’m not sure. It’s a decent neighborhood but there’s not many kids and I’m sure parents will take their kids to the bigger neighborhoods for better candy.” The sun was very bright in my eyes as we stepped outside and I moved my sunglasses off my head to cover my eyes. “How many bags did you get?” Brooke asked. “We got five of the giant bulk bags just in case.” They laughed at my answer. “That’s so much! What are you going to do with the rest?” Annie asked and I shrugged. “Eat it?” It came out as more of a question. “Well if you do eat it, don’t make yourself sick! Those stomach aches are the worst.” Annie said, turning a little green. “Oh yeah, didn’t you tell me you ate a whole three giant bags of sour candy a few years ago?” Brooke asked and Annie blushed. “I failed a major test and got broken up with on the same day. Cut me some slack!” We all laughed. “Well I’ll let y’all know how tonight turns out. See you tomorrow!” I waved before heading for my truck.

Once I was home I found Jake pulling a sheet pan full of veggies out of the oven. “Oh wow, you’re home early. And cooking?” I asked as I set my bag down. “Well it is four thirty, kids will be coming around real soon. I’m gonna blend these into a sauce and cook some chicken. Why don’t you get dressed?” He asked, leaning over to kiss my lips. “Yes, sir.” I said, giving him a lax salute before wandering upstairs. I took my time changing into the jeans for my costume but I tossed a t-shirt on, not wanting to get anything on the top for my costume. I touched up my hair and did my makeup before going back downstairs, just in time for dinner. “Gorgeous, but where’s your top?” He asked, setting my plate on the table. “I’ll put it on after dinner. Don’t wanna get any of this sauce on it.” He smiled, pulling out my chair and letting me sit down. “So how busy do you think it’ll be tonight?” I asked and he shrugged. “I’m not too sure. I’ve talked to a few neighbors but they say it varies each year.” I nodded. “I hope we get a lot, honestly. I always enjoyed seeing people in our neighborhoods growing up.” He smiled at me. “Me too. I miss seeing my nieces and nephews trick-or-treating.” I smiled at him just as the doorbell went off. “I got it. Go put your costume on.” I said as I got up and made my way to the door. 

After a few kids coming to the door, Jake and I managed to finish our food and make our way outside. “TWICK-OR-TWEAT!” A tiny voice said as a little girl came sprinting up the driveway and to the porch. She has on a pink princess dress and her hair in little pigtails. “Twick-or-Tweat!” She said again as she made it to the porch. “Well aren’t you the cutest princess.” Jake said, kneeling down to her level and holding the bucket of candy out to her. “Thank you.” She said as she stuck her hand in the bowl, grabbing a piece of candy. “Wow.” She said as she turned to me. “You’re da pwettiest cowgorl.” She said and I smiled at her. “Thank you, I really like your dress.” She smiled, twirling a little. “My mommy made it!” She said excitedly. “Lacey! Come on!” She turned to the couple standing in the driveway watching her. “Bye bye!” She waved, rushing off. “She was absolutely adorable!” I said, barely able to contain myself and Jake turned, smiling at me. “Can I ask you something?” He asked as we sat on the steps. “Of course.” I said, taking his hand. “Have you ever-” We were cut off by a ton of kids rushing the house and screaming.

The next morning I was shaking, my nerves eating me alive. “It’ll be okay.” I said to myself in the mirror as I got my scrubs on. It is finally day one of clinicals and I have no idea how I’m going to do it. I made my way downstairs to find my lunch packed with leftovers from last night with a note on top. “You’ve got this darling. I love you and have a great day.” I smiled as I tucked it into my lunch bag before grabbing everything and heading out the door. I drove to Scripps Mercy Hospital which was kind of close to base but I still had about a thirty minute drive to get there. By the time I pulled in, I was half an hour early. I would normally sit in my truck but I was nervous so I decided to get out and make my way inside. I hiked from the back of the parking lot where we were told to park and was glad when I stepped through the door. “Hi.” I said to the security guard at the front desk. “I’m doing clinicals in the ER today.” He nodded. “Can I see your student ID?” I nodded, fishing it out of my bag and handing it to him. “Good.” He said as he hit the button under the desk and the double doors opened. “You can put your stuff in the break room, third door on the right. The charge nurse will meet all of you there.” I nodded and thanked him before wandering through the doors and back where he told me. 

As I walked in there was a girl sitting at the table eating and I smiled at her. “Student?” She asked and I nodded. “Yeah.” I said as my face grew warm. “I showed up an hour early on my first day of clinicals, too. You’ll be fine.” She said before biting into some bacon. I smiled at her and set my bag and lunch box in a corner. “Thank you. I’m Katie.” I said as I sat a few chairs down. “Crystal.” She said in reply. “How long have you been a nurse for?” She chuckled at me. “About fifteen years.” My eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry but you don’t look old enough to have been a nurse that long.” She laughed as she took the last bite of her food. “Well thank you, you just made my day.” I smiled at her. “But yes, fifteen years and man has it felt like fifteen years.” I nodded and the door opened. “Oh thank god! I was scared to be the first here!” Brooke said as she walked in. I laughed as she set her bag down. Soon a few other girls filed in, Annie being last. The class was split up between four different departments here in the hospital and I’m glad I got to start in the ED. We all sat around talking and Crystal went out to start her shift as we waited. “Good morning, ladies.” We turned to see a tall black woman standing in the doorway in royal blue scrubs. “I hope you’re all ready for your day. It’s going to be a lot to take in. I am Mya Woods, the charge nurse here at Scripps Mercy. Tell me yours.” We all went around introducing ourselves. “Alright. Now that we have that out of the way, follow me. We’ll start with a tour of the hospital.” We followed her out the door and she lead us out to a lobby past the ED. She took us to the lab, radiology, cardiology, neurology, surgery, and every other department in the hospital. By the time we got the rundown it was two o’clock and I was starving. “Okay, you have half an hour to eat. When you get back we’ll go over policy and procedure.” We all nodded and I trudged back to the break room and grabbed my lunch. 

“Hey Katie, we’re all gonna go eat outside. Want to join?” Starla, a girl in my class asked as I waited for my food to heat up. I’ve talked to the other girls in class and they’re all nice but we’ve never really spent time together. “Uh, sure.” I replied, grabbing my food and phone before heading outside. There was a large round stone table outside and we all squeezed in. “I feel like we’ve been here for ten hours.” Starla said as she rolled her neck. “If every day is going to be like this, then I don’t know if I can do this.” She said and Brooke replied. “I think Thursday will go over better, we’ll be paired up and we can start actual work, no more SOP’s and all that.” Brooke responded. “I sure hope you’re right.” Starla said and everyone else agreed. After lunch we sat in a conference room and went over all the policies and procedures and it was hard for me to focus or stay awake. So I was relieved when five came and I could leave. I gathered all my stuff and we all trekked out to our cars. “Back to the classroom tomorrow.” Annie said as she got to her car. “Joy.” I muttered as I dragged my feet to my truck. I was exhausted and was ready to sleep. 

I managed to drive home and by the time I hit the drive way I could’ve just slept in my truck but I dragged myself out. I opened the door and could hardly keep my eyes open. “Hi darlin’.” Jake said, grinning at me with his hands behind his back. “Hi.” I murmured. “What are you hiding?” I asked as I gave him a small smile. He pulled out a vase with roses in it and held it out to me. “Aw Jake. You shouldn’t have.” I took the vase as he took my backpack and lunch bag from me. “Well you deserve it. This is a big step and I’m so proud of everything you’ve done.” He pulled me into him, kissing my forehead. “What do you want for dinner?” He asked. “Pizza.” I said and he chuckled. “Go change and I’ll order it.” I nodded and turned, going upstairs to our room. I sat on the bed and untied my shoes, sighing in relief as I wiggled my toes. “A minute wouldn’t hurt.” I muttered to myself, lying back on the bed. But I quickly drifted off to sleep.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Jake asked as he checked my forehead again. “Yes, Jake. I’m not going to class and I have an eight a.m. doctor's appointment. It’s probably just the flu.” I said, my eyes drifting closed. It was currently Thursday and I was missing our second day of clinicals. Rebecca sent me home early yesterday because I was still really fatigued and started getting a fever. Thankfully, Jake was successful at getting my fever down last night. “Well I'll call and check in with you around lunch time okay?” He asked and I nodded. He leaned down and kissed my temple before leaving for work. It was five-thirty so I had plenty of time to go back to sleep. I slept until seven and got up, sliding on some athletic shorts and one of Jake’s t-shirts before making my way out the door. I was early for my appointment so after I filled out the paperwork I sat in the chair, my head lolling to the side. “Blair?” I immediately stood. “Hi.” I muttered as the medical assistant smiled at me. “Oh dear, let’s get you checked out and get you something to make you feel better.” I nodded as she led me back. We got my weight which went up and then she took my vitals. My temperature was back up, but everything else was normal. “Alright, Dr. Downs will be in in just a moment.” I nodded and sat there quietly, anxious to go back home and go to bed. 

A knock sounded on the door and it opened. “Katie. I’m Dr. Downs, nice to meet you.” The woman greeted as she came in. “Nice to meet you too.” She sat down with an ipad and smiled at me. “So, why don’t you tell me a little about what’s going on?” She said. “Well, I’m exhausted and I thought it was just from my first day of clinicals.” “Nursing school?” She asked and I nodded. “Yeah.” “That’s amazing.” I smiled at her. “I obviously have a fever, my body aches and I’m getting a headache. I’m pretty sure it’s the flu.” She nodded. “Well I will get some tests and blood work ordered right away, but you’re probably right. It’s most likely the flu.” I nodded as she typed some stuff in. “You’re not on any medications, right?” I nodded. “Correct.” She nodded. “Not even for your ADHD or depression?” I furrowed my brows at her. “Uh, yes. I have neither of those.” She raised an eyebrow. “Your full name is Katherine Scarlett Blair and your birthday is December thirteenth nineteen ninety eight right?” I nodded. “Parents are Meredith and Richard Blair?” I nodded. 

“Yeah, it says right here you were evaluated at five years old. Child shows clear and obvious signs of attention deficit hyperactive disorder with autistic traits, but does not meet the criteria to be diagnosed with autism. Child also suffers from major depressive disorder-” “Stop. You have the wrong chart. That is not mine.” I said, my hand shaking as I held it up. “Katie. Look…” I walked over and there was a photo of me attached at age five. “I know it’s hard to believe-” “I’ve never been told about this a day in my life. I want a copy of that.” She nodded. “Okay. I’ll get this printed and get your tests ready.” I nodded and sat back down. The nurse came in and drew my blood and swabbed my throat and I waited some more, anxiety eating me alive. “Well, your flu test is positive. I’ll call in an antiviral for you.” I nodded and she handed me a large stack of papers. “That is your entire diagnosis. I’m sorry, Katie.” She said and I sighed, clutching the papers. “If you have any questions, the psychologist you saw is retired, but his partner is still there. You can call them, or you can call here and I’ll help you as best I can.” I nodded, standing. “Thank you, Dr. Downs.” She nodded. “You’re welcome.”

I walked out, paid for the appointment with the credit card Jake left me and got back in the truck. I stared down at the papers in my hands, reading them in detail. Every agonizing detail and tears streaked my face as I looked at it. Once I was done I propped my arm on the window, staring out the window as I scratched a bump on my face. “Fuck it.” I tossed everything on the bench seat and pulled out of the parking lot. I drove in silence, my mind racing with every thought imaginable. It couldn’t be true, but it also makes some sense. My heart rate picked up as I turned down the familiar street and I thought I would pass out as I pulled in the driveway. Before I could lose my nerve I grabbed the papers and my phone before storming up to the front door. I slammed my fist on the door multiple times, making my anger ever so clear. I was about to do it again when the door swung open and I stared my mother in the face. “We need to have a fucking conversation. Right now.” I said before shoving past her and into the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[starryevermore]

dumb love, i love being stupid ✧ ruhn danaan 

angst city™ library |send in a request (consultrequest faqs first)

pairing: ruhn danaan x fem!reader 

summary: you thought you had found your forever, but he wanted to keep it casual. 

word count: 2,346

warnings?: angst city™ bitch, not proofread

“So how’s it going with that one girl? Been seeing her a lot lately.”

“Eh, we’re just keeping things casual,” Ruhn said, eyeing a pretty faun from across the bar. 

You watched as his friend—Declan, you realize—arched a brow, took a long sip of his drink. Ruhn couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes as Declan said, “That why you keep bringing her around so much?”

“We both know what this is. I like her company, so I invite her out sometimes. That a crime?” Ruhn didn’t wait for an answer. He set his drink down on the bar and began to make his way to the pretty faun. 

“Guess not.” Declan looked away from his friend, eyes somehow finding yours. Despite the distance and lighting, you couldn’t miss the flash of pity. 

Before he could say anything to you, you turned on your heel, ready to leave the White Raven with whatever scraps of your dignity you had intact. You pushed through the throngs of people, ignoring the annoyed voices of those who you accidentally elbowed in the process. You just needed to get out of there. 

A hand caught your arm just as the exit was finally in sight, pulling you to a stop. “Hey! Where are you going? The fun’s just about to start!” Bryce cheered. Behind her stood Hunt, who offered you a smile and a soft “hey.”

Wriggling lose of Bryce’s hold, trying to maintain an air of playfulness, you managed a laugh. “Some of us have early mornings and can’t party til dawn.”

Bryce rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a buzzkill. Do I need to drag Ruhn out of whatever corner he’s hiding in and convince you to stay?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you prayed neither Bryce nor Hunt could hear it. “Didn’t realize he was here. Saw Declan for, like, half a second.”

She wiggled her eyebrows at you. “So that’s a yes? Getting your boy toy will get you to stay?”

“He’s not my boy toy,” you said, “and it makes me feel icky for you to call your brother that.”

“You’re no fun!” Bryce whined. 

Hunt, either because he believed your story about an early morning or because he could sense your unease, took Bryce by the waist and slowly began to urge her away. “C’mon, this is a losing battle.”

“Fine, but you’re coming to the party this weekend, right?”

You probably weren’t, but if agreeing was what it took to get out of the White Raven without crying in front of Ruhn’s friends, then that’s what you’d do. “Duh, you think I’d miss it?”

Bryce grinned, and Hunt finally successfully urged her into the crowd to find the rest of their friends. You loosed a breath, rolled your shoulders, and made your escape. No one stopped you again, or even spared you a glance. For that, you were grateful. You weren’t sure how much more people-ing you could handle. 

Unfortunately, you did plan on making one more stop before you went home. 

Ruhn really needed a better hiding spot for his spare key. Was there anything more obvious than a potted plant by the door? It would have been laughable if you weren’t effectively breaking into his home. (Is it really breaking in if you found the key? And when the owner of said key told you where it was hidden?) 

You didn’t bother being quiet, figured that all of the home’s residents were out at the White Raven. Yet, when you shut the door, a voice had you jumping out of your skin. 

“Ruhn come back with you?” Flynn asked, leaning against the entry to the kitchen. 

You tried to steady your breathing and racing heart. “Nah. Think he’s at the White Raven with Declan. I was just swinging by to grab a couple things I left behind.” You held up the spare key for him to see. “Y’all need a better place for this than the only potted plant on the property. You’re practically asking someone to steal all your shit.”

Flynn nodded. “Cool, cool. Shout if you need anything, and try not to rob us blind, yeah?”

“Eh, I’ll leave your shit alone, but can’t say the same for Ruhn and Declan,” you joked despite yourself. 

He snorted out a laugh. “You’re funny. Shame Ruhn got to you first.”

You shrugged. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

As you walked up to Ruhn’s room, Flynn disappeared into the kitchen. He’d probably leave you alone. As long as you don’t take a long time, probably. You didn’t plan on sticking around, though. You just wanted to grab your things and get out before Ruhn returned with that faun he was eyeing. If he thought this was casual, the last thing he would want is for you to be hanging around while he was trying to get lucky. 

Thankfully, you knew where most of your things were. A couple of shirts thrown in his closet, a jacket strewn over a chair. Some miscellaneous socks mixed in with his laundry. You grabbed your lipgloss you thought you lost from the bathroom, and the pretty hand towel you brought because there was no way in hell you were using the scratchy ones they bought in bulk. Your favorite bras, buried in the top dresser drawer. 

Once you were satisfied you got everything you cared about, you made your way out of the home, praying that you wouldn’t run into Flynn again. 

He was on the couch when you came out. He eyed the bundle of clothes in your arms. “Moving out?” he teased. 

“Getting this stuff out before he thinks I’m trying to move in.”

“You and I both know Ruhn wouldn’t mind if you did. Honestly, he’d probably be more offended you were sneaking all that shit out.”

Liar. “Eh, I need to wash all this and I don’t trust you idiots to not fuck all my nice stuff up.”

Flynn laughed, throwing his head back. “You make us sound like beasts!”

“Excuse you, I was here when your sheets were stained pink after a sock made its way into the machine, and when half of Ruhn’s clothes got bleach stains after one of you forgot to rinse out the drum,” you giggled.

Fuck, you wished you had fallen for Flynn instead. Or even Declan. They were easy to talk to, and wouldn’t make you feel like an idiot for thinking that something more than casual was going on. That was more your fault than anything, you supposed. You knew who Ruhn was when he approached you at the White Raven all those months ago. He never tried to hide who he was. You were the idiot who thought he might settle down.

“Fair enough,” Flynn laughed. “Hey, you be careful alright? Ruhn’d kill me if you got hurt after leaving here.”

You were already hurt, but Flynn didn’t know that. Didn’t need to know that. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, you mother hen.”

Flynn flipped you off as you left, still laughing. The bitter part of you thought he was laughing at you, knowing how big of an idiot you were. The more rational part knew he was just having a nice time joking around with you. Whatever. You probably weren’t going to be seeing him around much either way. 

Loud knocking on the door woke you up. When you glanced at your phone for the time, it was barely one in the morning. Several more hours until you would need to start the day, and way too late for anyone to be bothering you right. With a groan, you got out of bed, wrapped yourself up with a robe, and went to the door, fully prepared to chew out whoever was interrupting your beauty sleep. 

You yanked open the door. Ruhn stood on the other side. Whatever steam you had rising up inside you dissipated when you saw him. 

Pulling the robe closer around you, you asked, “What are you doing here?” More questions stayed locked in your mind—Why aren’t you home? Why aren’t you with that pretty faun? 

“Flynn said you stopped by to get some of your things,” Ruhn said. “Looked like you took more than a few. Just wanted to see if you were alright.”

You opened the door wider so he could see into your small apartment. You gestured to the couch, where your laundry basket sat, topped off with the clothes you took back from his place. “Was needing to do laundry,” you lied. “Wanted to make sure all my stuff got washed.”

He pouted—actually pouted. “I could’ve done that for you.”

“It’s no big deal—”

“Or you could’ve done it at my place. Throw in a couple of my things if you didn’t have enough for a load,” he continued. Ruhn took a step into your apartment. You took a step back. “I like having your stuff around.”

“It’ll all probably end up there again anyways,” you shrugged. You doubted it. Ruhn might have wanted to keep this casual, but you weren’t that sort of person. You craved intimacy, the closeness of a relationship. If Ruhn wouldn’t offer that, you didn’t see the point in sticking around. 

Ruhn’s violet eyes searched yours. You weren’t sure what he was looking for. It would probably be easier to walk into your mind than try to pick it up with context clues, but you also didn’t want him anywhere near your head. You didn’t want to hear any excuses he had. Anyways, Ruhn was good about staying out of your mind. He said he didn’t want to violate your trust. What a joke. “Why didn’t you talk to me tonight?”

“Huh?”

“Dec said he saw you, and Bryce said you two talked. I was there, too. I know we didn’t plan on doing anything tonight, but I would’ve liked for you to say something.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why are you really here, Ruhn? I know it’s not because I got my things or didn’t talk to you tonight.”

“Are we good?”

The scoff fell from your mouth before you could stop it. Seriously? Why did he even care? If this was casual, why did he care about your feelings? “You don’t have to pretend, Ruhn. I know you want to keep this casual.”

Ruhn blinked, slowly working his jaw. “What are you talking about?”

“If you want this to be casual, that’s fine. I mean, you wish you had told me that, but I can’t change the past. If you want, you know, company or whatever, that’s okay. But I’m not that sort of person. Let’s not let feelings get any more involved than they already are.”

Realization dawned in his eyes. It took him long enough. Ruhn was far from stupid. It didn’t make sense for it to take this long for it to all click. “You heard me and Dec.”

“And saw you with the pretty faun.”

Ruhn looked away. His jaw clenched and unclenched. “I didn’t realize you were there.”

“Does it matter that I was? I mean, if this is casual, you can flirt with anyone you want. You can fuck anyone you want.”

“Stop saying that,” he near-growled. You raised your brows. What right did he have to get upset? At you no less? Fuck, you needed to put an end to all of this. Tonight. Now. 

You couldn’t hide your own ire as you said, “Why? Only you get to call it casual? I get to sit around thinking that maybe you actually give a shit about me, that you want to stick around for the long term, but you get to sleep with half of the city. Do I have that right?”

“No.”

“No, I think I do,” you said. You reached out, started to push him toward the door. Ruhn snatched your hand and tugged you against him. “Ruhn, let me go.”

“No.”

“Let me go and get the fuck out of here.”

“No,” he insisted. It was hard to ignore the desperation in his voice, but you weren’t going to fall for any of his tricks. You fell for enough of him already. 

Tears pricked at your eyes. Godsdammit, you weren’t going to cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve to see you so vulnerable. Not anymore, at least. “I am not going to be the idiot in love with you,” you said, your voice thick, “not when you don’t give a shit about me.”

Ruhn’s eyes flashed. With what, you weren’t certain. “I fucking care about you!” he shouted. Oh, what you would’ve given to hear that just hours ago. Now, it meant nothing. 

“No. You either lied to Declan about this being casual, or you lied to me about wanting something with me. Either way, you lied. You do not lie to the people you care about.” You wrenched yourself away from Ruhn, grabbed the door, and pointed out to the hall. “Go. I won’t ask again.”

“I want to talk about this.”

You gestured into the hallway again. “I have nothing left to say. I’ve got neighbors, Ruhn, and you’re probably waking up the whole building.”

He said your name, so softly your resolve nearly crumbled. But you looked away, steeled yourself. You weren’t going to let yourself be treated like shit just for a fae who would never respect you. 

“Lose my number.”

Ruhn stepped toward you. He stopped right in front of you, brushed away a strand of hair that fell in your face. His eyes scanned over you, as if memorizing you. But you wouldn’t look at him. Couldn’t. Then he stepped through the threshold of the door, and you shut the door before he could say anything else, twisted the locks before he could try to open it.

You pressed your back against the door and sank down to the door. Face pressed against your knees, you began to cry, and you pretended you couldn’t hear Ruhn still standing on the other side. 

It was better off this way. 

[shock]

top surgery is a scam to get you to stop drinking caffeine & smoking cigarettes. completely inequitable. they need to invent top surgery for guys like me who just want a little weed. not that it matters since the operation was already a success but you know in case i ever decide to get post-top boob huge-ing surgery and for the next 5'2 trans guy to make history by having a swiftie surgeon crucify him for 2 hours

[daechwitatamic]

Vice;Grip || chapter 2 || chs

(banner by @itaeewon)

Vice;Grip (masterpost) NSFW - minors DNI Genre: angst smut fluff, fuckbuddies!au Summary: Make it not hurt, you could have asked him. Or, at least, make it hurt in a way I choose.  A/N: infinite thank you's to @sailoryooons and @eoieopda for beta-ing!! //

Warnings: Frequent depictions of depression, depressive episodes, panic attacks, and substance abuse (alcohol, weed, and pills referenced). PLEASE know that these characters’ relationships with drugs and alcohol are not healthy and should not be emulated. If these topics are triggering to you, please consider sitting this one out.

Section Specific Warnings: depiction of a depressive episode, recreational drinking and bar scenes, allusion to oral (f. receiving), kissing, rough sex/man-handling, explicit penetrative sex, dirty talk, aftercare, didn't venture fully into writing dom!vernon but i have been informed i wrote something that might be in the realm of a dom drop, language obviously, reader is called a gendered slur by a stranger, law-breaking :), actual fluff for a second, allusions to drug use, car sex

wc: 6900

Playlist: you can call me in the middle of the night / you can leave before i wake up in the morning / and it could feel so wrong / but i'll still hold on

1 yr, 5 months ago

The onset of spring brought a lack of color. Grey clouds hung full and heavy, low over the city skyline. Grey crept into the corners of your apartment, darkening rooms during daytime so that you needed to keep lamps on even in midafternoon. Grey crept over your body, into your limbs. Days stretched and nights inched; you only got out of bed because you had to feed the damn cat.

That's part of why you'd gotten the cat in the first place, after a particularly long episode a few years ago, when Chan had presented you with a list of things he thought you should do to combat the blues, as he'd put it.

He meant well. But he always came at your depression like a problem solver, like just doing the right things could make it go away.

And sure, his suggestions were things that would help - get outside, call someone, don't isolate, shower even if you aren't leaving the house, drink some damn water - they weren't a cure. They were better reminders for when you were okay - good at keeping you okay for longer stretches. But when it was already too late, when the grey came, they all sounded fucking pointless. 

Anyway. The cat had been a good idea. 

is it bad?? 

Chan did his best. He was a good best friend. He just didn't understand it.

The answer to his question, you thought, as you flipped your phone over so you wouldn't see the notification if he followed up, was yes. Yes, this time was particularly bad. But you didn't have the energy to type those three words. 

Terrible friend, your brain accused, and it was right. 

You managed to drag yourself to work, to at least show up so you could continue to pay for your apartment and your damn cat, but not much else. You existed on cans of diet coke and microwave meals. You doom-scrolled until sunrise, then slept an hour or two at most before getting dressed for work. You left texts unanswered, the mail piled up. So did the dishes. 

Chan came by, once, did your dishes for you. It made you feel worse - useless and pitiable. You'd rather he just go away, but you held it in; you knew that would only hurt his feelings.

You learned from your mistakes, one thing that could be said in your favor. 

“Have you called your doctor?” he wanted to know.

What was the point? There wasn't a stop hating your life pill. 

“What if you tried painting?” he asked.

“What if you just let me be?” you countered, finally tripping over the line from embarrassed apathy to defensiveness. 

That pout again. “It might help,” he said. “Don't most famous artists do their best shit when they're down?”

“Get out,” you deadpanned. He dropped it, knowing this was a bigger issue, a bigger argument, than this current episode, a complex situation that went beyond the boundaries of your brain chemistry.

He put the last of your now-clean plates away. “Let's go somewhere,” he suggested.

“Chan,” you groaned. “I’m tired. I can't go gallivanting -”

“You're not tired, you're depressed,” he argued. “And going outside will help you.”

“I might have to kill you,” you said seriously, and he rolled his eyes. 

In the end, he let you win. He'd been around long enough to know that eventually you'd venture outside again, hit the bars with him again, text first again, laugh at his stupid memes again. It was just a waiting game. 

Still, when he left, you sat on the edge of your couch with your chin in your hands. On the living room rug, the cat rolled and showed you its belly. 

“Not you, too,” you groused. 

The cat did a few alligator rolls and then scampered into your bedroom and under the bed, as if chased. 

You sighed. You made your way to the spare room, which had been shut - to keep the cat out. To keep your ghosts in. 

Your easel was still set up in the corner. You were kind of surprised it wasn't covered in cobwebs. You'd been sketching just on paper last time you'd worked, trying to make decisions that way so you wouldn't waste a canvas, and it still sat there. 

You inched closer, ran your hands over your brushes. Took a step back, eyed the paper and your sketches. 

It was bad. Thank god you hadn't put it to canvas. 

You pulled the paper down, crumpled it in your hands. You chased the cat out with a gentle nudge of your foot, and closed the door again, keeping both cats and ghosts on their respective sides of the door.

There was no rhyme or reason to your brain, no map or calendar to follow for the starts or stops. But eventually, the clouds broke. The grey gave way to baby buds of green, yellows pushed through soil, determined to meet the sun.

You texted Chan - drinks??

He responded - about time!!!

You texted Vernon - hello, its me

When he didn't answer, you tried again - sorry for the radio silence. 

Still nothing. 

You checked his socials, saw that he'd been doing his thing - a smattering of selfies, some group shots with the guys he played music with sometimes, a few nature shots: the moon, once, and what looked like the river at night. 

The silence stretched. You gave up, considered it over. Grieved a little, because it had been good. 

You went out on a night that teased summer even though it was months away, sank into the familiar blur of too many shots - not enough to be a problem, but maybe enough to make problems. 

Under the club's ever-moving lights, you took a selfie, your drink and cleavage both showcased in the shot. 

Send it to Vernon, the urge to make trouble suggested, and you listened without hesitation.

And - finally - an answer.

come here after?? 

You smiled a tiny, victorious smile and knocked back the rest of your drink. 

omw.

Later, he gave you a rare and devastating pout as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smoothed fingers down the still-shaking inside of your thigh.

“What'd you make me wait so long for?” he complained, those sharp eyes sparkling with mirth. When you shrugged, still a little mindless from your high, he gave the same spot on your thigh a playful slap. “Don't do it again.”

1 yr, 4 months ago

busy tonight?

not busy but.

???

not in the best mood.

bet i could fix that.

yeah. idk.

why don't you let me try? 

“What's wrong?” you cooed, teasing, when Vernon let you into the apartment. 

He didn't smile, didn't play along, and it sobered you quickly. 

“Don't want to talk about it,” he muttered, crowding into your space. “Wasn't that big of a deal anyway.”

Just want the fix you promised, he thought. 

You moaned like liquid gold when his first kiss was a bite. Encouraged, Vernon gripped you by the shoulders, pushing you back against the wall hard enough that he heard your breath escape in a single huff. He hesitated, eyes searching your face; a question.

You lifted your chin, eyes shining with something hard. When he kissed you again, you threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled, hard enough to make him hiss; an answer.

His pace was frenzied from the start, your legs around his waist and the wall holding you up. His hand curled around your throat, not squeezing, but sliding up to grip at your jaw instead, keeping you from tilting your head back, closing your eyes, losing yourself in how he felt slamming his hips flush against yours with dizzying smacks.

When you whined that you were close, he pulled you away from the wall and lowered you both to the ground, the wooden floor of his entryway cold and hard beneath your spine. It didn’t matter, didn’t do anything to stop the vortex tightening below your stomach. You slapped a hand over your face as it distorted in pleasure, Vernon kneeling between the legs you still had gripping his waist, one of his hands braced on the floor next to your head, holding his body over you.

“That’s right,” he breathed, gritted teeth flashing over you, forehead wrinkling as his own release closed in on the chase. “Just fucking take it when I fuck you into the floor.”

Then he was pulling out, breaths hissing through his teeth as he straightened up, one hand pumping himself furiously until strings of white decorated your stomach, cooling immediately in the apartment’s chilly air.

His breathing was ragged as he sagged back onto his heels, and you pushed yourself up onto your elbows, watching him warily.

Then he stood and slipped into the hallway bathroom, the light clicking on and illuminating the unlit entryway where you’d just fucked. You heard the sink run, then shut back off, and Vernon returned. He knelt gingerly - you could see his knees were red from kneeling on the wooden floor - and cleaned your stomach first, then gently between your legs.

You sat the rest of the way up then, watching him carefully as he sat back on his heels again, avoiding your gaze. Something about the moment felt like a thing alive, unfurling between you like a casablanca lily under the refracted light of the moon.

You spoke at the same time.

“Vernon?”

“You okay?”

You swallowed, rubbed absently at your elbow where you’d smacked it on the floor during the position change.

“I’m fine,” you said tentatively. “Are you?”

He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, and then peering through his fingers at you for a second before dropping them again. “Thought I hurt you.”

You shook your head. “I’m okay. I would have said something.”

He nodded, relief starting to bring feeling back to his hands again. He stood and reached a hand down for you. When you took it, he closed his fingers around yours and pulled you to your feet.

“I know we don’t usually do this,” you said, rubbing at the parts of you that had been on the floor - the backs of your legs, your ass, “but could I take a super fast shower before I go?”

“Yeah,” he said, so quickly that the word almost trips on itself. “Of course.”

He led you into the bathroom, rummaged in the disorganized linen closet for a clean towel, pressed it into your hands.

“If you need one, too,” you said easily, as he reached around you to turn the water on so it could heat up, “I don’t mind if you join me.”

He paused. “You sure?”

You shrugged, then leaned over to put your hand under the spray, testing to see if it was still cold. “It’s your shower.”

Under the stream of warm water, you turned to face him, front to front, looking up at him with clear eyes. Something in your expression was so open, Vernon couldn’t help but feel both the desire to step into the space you seemed to be offering him as well as the desire to get far, far away from it.

He’d been so angry before you’d texted, furious enough that he’d bruised his knuckles punching the doorframe; now, as the chemicals in his body settled down, he felt those knuckles throbbing. He was disgusted that he’d lost his temper, guilty that he’d taken any of that anger out on you, who had nothing to do with it.

He was scared of the desire he felt to be closer to you, just for tonight. Scared that fucking you hadn’t been enough to soothe whatever it was that roiled inside him, like it usually was. Scared that he felt like he needed more than sex to heal this particular burn.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and part of him thought he was apologizing in advance, like he knew already he’d run scared at some point. “For being so...”

He didn’t know what word fit best. 

“I told you,” you said, pressing a little closer, “I would have said if I had a problem.”

“Okay,” he said, frowning a little. “If you’re sure.”

Then he reached over and brushed a thumb along your cheekbone, chasing away a rivulet of shower-water. You closed your eyes for a second, and he swore he could feel you lean into the touch, just slightly.

He didn’t know how to explain how he felt. Kind of like he’d done a hot-coal-walk; the exhaustion that came with an adrenaline crash, the vulnerability that came after facing down something big, that need - the burn inside him needing cool water before it could quiet down.

With the shower off, the silence in the bathroom was loud.

“Do you…” Vernon started, then stopped. His heart hammered, the adrenaline returning. He covered the moment by toweling his hair roughly and pulling his hands through the strands so they’d lay right. “Do you want to stay for a little bit? I was gonna order delivery, maybe watch something before I finish my assignment.”

He’d expected you to think about it, to turn it over in your mind the way you turn his things over in your careful hands, the way you turn him ass over head with just a smirk. Instead, you nodded right away.

“Yeah,” you said, like it was no big deal. Like you did this all the time. Maybe you did, just not with him. “I was starving, actually. I could stay for an hour or two.”

On his couch, the leftovers of the food scattered on his coffee table, you reached for his hand, ran a thumb imperceptibly along his purpled knuckles. You didn’t ask what happened, just brought them to your lips and pressed the lightest kiss before putting them down again and reaching for your noodles, as if it hadn’t happened at all.

That was when Vernon saw the potential of it, an entire picture, framed and labeled: you could hurt him so badly if he let you, if he let it get that far. For whatever it was that burned inside him, you were the cool water… but you could absolutely be gasoline, instead.

1 yr, 3 months ago

If you closed your eyes, you could pretend the light that passed over your closed lids in a repetitive pattern was the sweep of a lighthouse beam. You could pretend that the rumbling bass of the music was the roar of the ocean. You could pretend that you weren’t here, in a shitty bar, but at the seaside. You could pretend that you weren’t alone. You could pretend that you weren’t you.

You drained your drink and caught the bartender’s eye, gesturing for another, sliding the sweating glass away from you once you knew a new one was coming.

“What are you drinking?”

The voice came from your right, and you lifted tired, disinterested eyes to find the source of it.

“G and T,” you answered, because it was one fewer syllable than saying gin and tonic and maybe that one syllable would do the dirty work for you and tell this guy that you didn’t want to talk to him.

“Nice,” he said, like you’d said something interesting, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. You didn’t return the question, just slid your phone screen on and opened your messages.

wyd

drinks at my hyungs place. wbu

damn. guess i have to settle for one of these very mid prospects at the willow

damn thats a sad story. if only you had a better option

if only my better option werent busy at his hyung’s

no one said i had to stay here. ur at the willow?

yep

The guy to your right tried again. “The DJ tonight kind of sucks, huh?”

You looked back at your phone.

don’t leave

You smiled into your drink, a thrill dancing through your bloodstream. The lights and music didn’t seem as garish as they had ten minutes ago.

“My boyfriend’s on his way to pick me up,” you said flatly to the guy who kept trying to talk to you, “so you might want to find someone else to complain about the DJ to.”

The word tasted like lemonade on your tongue - acidic and sour, sweet and refreshing, taste buds blooming and shriveling in tandem. Even the knowledge that it was a flat-out lie didn’t stop your heart from beating faster.

You expected the guy to get up and leave, maybe throw you a dirty look on his way. Instead, he seemed to call your bluff, narrowing his eyes like he was trying to read you.

“I don’t think I’d let my girlfriend go out alone looking like this,” he said evenly, and you let out a derisive laugh.

“The fact that you just said the words let my girlfriend probably has a lot to do with why you’re here alone,” you countered, a flash of victory slicing up your spine when you saw his face flush.

Before he could retort, you hopped down from your barstool, pushing your way into the crowded dance floor. You didn’t even want to dance, you just wanted to get away. If Vernon wanted to find you, he could come find you. He’d told you not to leave, he hadn’t said make it easy for me.

He found you anyway; he made it look easy. He stepped around a group of guys talking in a circle and into your space, like he was following a path, like he knew there’d be room for him.

You were happy to see him. You were happy he came. You were happy to breathe him in, to feel the warmth of his body and smell his cologne and hear your name tumble from his mouth like a statement. You were too drunk to tuck these truths away into pockets and folds where they would be harder to find.

You stepped to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. If he was surprised, his body hid it well. His hands came to rest on your lower back, pressing you closer to him as you leaned up to find his mouth.

You kissed him slowly, at odds with the frantic bassline vibrating under your feet. You let him tip your head back, changing the angle, sweeping your mouth with his tongue until you both tasted lemonade.

“Happy to see me?” he asked, a hint of a smirk on his face, one eyebrow arched in question and one half of his mouth twitching into a smile.

You didn’t have it in you to lie, so instead you said, “Your place?”

He led you outside.

As luck would have it, the idiot from the bar stood beside the front door, a cigarette between two fingers. His expression darkened when he recognized you, then further when he saw your fingers linked with Vernon’s as you stepped into the quiet night.

“Your girlfriend’s a fucking bitch,” the guy bit out, dropping the cigarette butt and stepping on it.

Vernon’s eyebrows shot up.

Evenly, he said, “She’s not -”

She’s not my girlfriend. You felt your stomach swoop, and you felt yourself flinch.

“- a bitch. She’s just smarter than you.”

Vernon tugged on your hand, leading you across the street to his parked, waiting car.

You tried to bite back a smile, and he looked sideways at you, his own lips twitching.

“What?” he demanded.

“What?” you parroted.

He scowled at you, but his lips were just smiling. “What?” he asked again.

You laughed. “Let’s go,” you said. “The bitch wants to kiss you more.”

You expected his smile to sharpen. Instead, something in it seems to soften, changing from teasing to actual affection.

“Alright,” he said, turning to start the engine. “Can’t really say no to that, can I?”

“You could,” you mused, as he pulled away from the curb and the bar slid into nothingness behind you, “but I just don’t think you should.”

1 yr, 2 months ago

wyd

melting

srsly

no, seriously. i am laying on my living room floor like a starfish trying not to turn into liquid

come to hyungs

its too hot to move

i have an idea, come meet me at hyungs

You frowned at your phone. Of course your aircon died during the only heatwave you could remember in your entire adult life. Your whole body felt sticky; you were pretty sure you were stuck to your floor.

It was too hot to move.

what’s the idea??

you’ll see. i’ll order u a car. can you bring a couple towels?

“Vernon, no,” you laughed, your voice echoing.

He shushed you through laughter, both of you leaning on each other as you stood at the edge of the yard, the grass tickling the bottoms of your bare feet. Upstairs, at his friend’s place, you’d thrown back a few shots for courage before following Vernon out here, and you were feeling them, your head swimming like your body might soon be.

“It’s a circuit, see?” he tried to explain, pointing through the night, as if you could see through all the fences and over all the hedges. “Five yards, five pools, and then we end up right back here and we get in the car and go. Just follow me, don’t stop for anything.”

“Someone’s gonna call the cops,” you complained. “And these neighborhoods all have cameras.”

“That’s why we keep moving,” he said, his grin so excited and so un-Vernon that you almost couldn’t bear to say no to him. “No one’s gonna call the cops if we’re already gone - it’s not worth it. You ready?”

You hesitated. “You’re good to drive us out of here?” you checked.

He held up his hands as if to show innocence. “Only had a beer,” he promised. “But I’ve got something fun in the car for after, if you want.”

You felt your grin turn wolfish. “Okay. I’m right behind you.”

“Try and be quiet,” he warned, then took off running across the yard, cannonballing into the pool with a splash.

You tore off after him, leaping into the water and suppressing a shriek when the cold water hit you. You felt instantly sober, jittery with adrenaline, alive with laughter. You spluttered your way to the surface and pushed water away from your eyes, trying to find him through the shadows.

He was already climbing out the other side, water running down his back, the muscle shifting in the half-light as he hoisted himself back onto the pool’s deck. You hurried across the pool, climbing up beside him, giggling wildly.

“Shhh,” he warned, but he was giggling too as he led you carefully over the fence to the next yard.

As soon as you crept close enough to the pool to jump, a motion-activated light came on, flooding the yard white and causing you to cover your eyes.

“Quick!” Vernon told you, grabbing your arm and pulling you in with him as he jumped.

You let out a stream of bubbles and water rushed into your mouth. You felt your feet hit the bottom and you pushed off hard, surfacing quickly.

Again, you followed him across the pool, both of you laughing and whispering, “Hurry! Quick!” as you climbed out and headed around the house to the front yard.

“Okay, this is the hard part,” he told you, both of you shivering as the night air caught up to you. “We have to cross the street, hop the fence, and then the pool is around back.”

“I’m ready,” you promised, with a particularly hard shiver.

You sprinted across the street, both leaving wet footprints on the pavement. His hand felt warm in yours when he helped you over the fence, warm on your body when he held your waist as you climbed down.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” you muttered, but giggles still spilled out of you.

“More fun than melting, right?” he asked, and you thought that you’d seen him smile more tonight than in whole months of coming together at night.

You thought you might move mountains to see him smile like this again, gums showing, open and honest, happy.

Then you were underwater again, swimming hard to keep up, following Vernon through the night as he pushed his way through some hedges and held them apart for you.

You made it to the last house before someone caught you, slamming the back door open and shouting, “Hey!”

“Go, go, go!” Vernon cried, laughing with such abandon that it sounded like goose honks, pulling on your hand as you both stumbled, dripping, towards the car.

You’d set towels on the seats before starting, so you tumbled into the car and he peeled away, both of you laughing wildly as you left the neighborhood behind.

It was miles before you calmed down, gasping in breaths and trying to hold them before exploding into laughter again.

“I’d better not end up on the news,” you scolded. “I’m in my underwear.

He gave you a searing sideways look. “I noticed.”

You felt yourself warm again, despite being in soaking wet clothes.

“Where next?” you asked. “Home?”

He let out a breath that was almost a sigh. “I don’t really want to go home,” he admitted. Then, “I was having fun with you.”

You considered this. “Not to be a cliche, but… I know a place.”

The quarry was quiet, surrounded by only trees; without posted lights, everything seemed to be just varying shades of black - the black of the water just darker than the black of the stone ledges just darker than the walls of trees just darker than the sky sprinkled with stars above you.

“We have to be careful,” you warned him seriously. “If you slip and get hurt, it could be bad.”

He turned the flashlight on his phone on and set it next to the metal rungs that jutted out of the stone, a makeshift ladder for the swimmers who came here during the day, when swimming was allowed.

“It’s going to be way colder than the pools,” you added.

“You’re not selling this very well,” he pointed out.

“Don’t be a chicken,” you teased.

He eyed the water. “I’m having second thoughts.”

You nudged him in the ribs, which caused him to squirm away, hands batting at yours, a noise emitting from him that made you laugh out loud.

“Are you ticklish?” you demanded. “How did I not know?”

“Come on, are we jumping or what?” he asked, laughing, still trying to keep your sneaky hands away from his ribs.

“Yeah, that’s probably the only way to actually get in,” you admitted, still laughing a little. Your abs felt a little sore from how much you’d laughed tonight.

You stood on the edge of the stone, toes curling over the ledge, Vernon’s hand tight in yours. You stood on the edge, the ink-like water beneath you rippling slightly, marring the reflection of the constellations high above you. You stood on the edge of something, knowing full well you were afraid to swim.

He counted you down, and together, you jumped.

The water was freezing - it hurt, it stung, and you shrieked and laughed as you surfaced. A foot from you, Vernon was shouting.

“The towels!” you told him, already swimming towards the little dot of light that marked the ladder.

Shaking and shivering, you reached your towel, wrapping it around yourself. Behind you, Vernon jogged up, making noises like a disgruntled horse as he found his own towel.

“Oh my god,” he groused, grabbing for you. “I’m freezing, come here.”

He opened his arms, the towel behind him like a wingspan, and you stepped into the space, letting him wrap his arms and his towel around you. You stood shivering together, trying to let your body heat chase the cold away.

You wrapped your own arms around his middle, pressing yourself closer as your legs shook, shivers rolling up your spine in waves as your body fought the chill. 

“C’mere,” he murmured above you, holding you a little more tightly, his own teeth chattering. 

It was the first time, you realized as you turned your head to rest your cheek on his chest, that you’d held each other. It was the first time you’d been between his arms when you weren’t fucking, the first time he’d tightened his grip around you for a reason other than gratification. 

You didn’t want it - didn’t want to know that it felt nice in his embrace, didn’t want to know that it fit right and felt safe. You didn’t want to know that you liked it, didn’t want to have to fight against the humiliation of wanting more.

As soon as the full-body tremors died away in the warm, sticky night, you stepped away, eager to put distance between you again. 

Later, he looked over at you from the driver’s seat of the car, red-eyed, his smile stretching slow and thick like putty. When you straddled his lap, his hands searching out the bare skin of your back, you rocked against him and pressed open-mouthed kisses to the column of his pretty throat until you were pulling groans from him with each pass of your hips. 

Forget, you thought, as you pulled your underwear to the side for him. Forget every single thing but this.

When you slipped an arm behind his neck and pressed your foreheads together as you lifted and dropped, you weren’t sure whose memory you were hoping to erase with this most recent pleasure-chase: yours, or his.

1 yr, 1 month ago

There was no map or calendar to this thing your brain did. It was summer, the sun shone, and yet the days bled together again, sunsets swirling down the shower drain.

The last time you’d gone radio silent, the last time your world had gone grey without warning, Vernon had answered in kind. His own silence had shouted for him until you’d tempted him back.

This time, he didn’t resort to silence in retaliation to yours. Instead, he kept trying, relentless. If you’d had more presence of mind, you might have wondered why.

wyd

[ ]

yo. whats the deal

[ ]

i will have you know that this is very insulting

[ ]

don’t get mad but im coming over

“What the fuck, Vernon.”

“I said don’t get mad.”

“It doesn’t work like that. What are you doing here?”

He leveled you with a look. “You gonna let me in?”

“Literally, no.”

You hadn’t showered in days; your apartment was probably grosser than you were. The cat milled around your ankles, trying to weasel its way outside, and you hopped from foot to foot trying to nudge it back inside.

“Why not?” he asked.

You huffed, annoyed. But the annoyance was the first thing you’d felt all day, and something inside you clung to it, desperate for more of anything but the crawling nothing that’s kept you company for days.

“Because,” you grumbled. Because there’s nothing for you here. Because I have nothing I can give you. “I’m… just not in the mood.”

He stepped back from the door so you could see more of him. “I’m not asking you to be.”

“Then why are you here?” The words fell between you, heavy. If you hadn’t been so low, if you hadn’t gone all day without eating, if you hadn’t been on your thirtieth hour without sleeping, you would have known better. You would have realized that you were asking, if you aren’t here for sex, then what are you here for? 

You wouldn’t have asked a question that you didn’t want the answer to.

He met your eyes. He seemed to teeter on the edge of telling you the truth, giving you the real answer. Then, he muttered, “Got bored.”

You knew it wasn’t the whole truth, and he knew you knew it, and yet neither of you were willing to look at it directly.

“I fail to see how that’s my problem,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

He watched you for what felt like a long time, face serious, eyes glittering and attentive. Then, instead of answering, he repeated, “Are you gonna let me in?”

You frowned at him, but there was a little more pout to it than anger. “I’m all gross,” you said, instead of answering.

Something in him softened - it was visible on his face, in his shoulders, like he knew this was your way of saying yes. “So let’s shower,” he suggested quietly.

You felt trepidation, like part of you expected him to stay soft, to try to take care of you. To your relief, Vernon acted like everything was normal, scrunching his face at you when the water was too cold as he stepped in, washing his own body in silence and letting you do your thing.

He didn’t try to hold you, didn’t ask you when you’d eaten last, didn’t try to talk about it - didn’t try to fix it. He was just… there, and this - along with your first shower in days - was somehow revitalizing in itself.

You pulled on clean sweats, which was better than the day-four sweats he’d found you in. “The apartment’s kind of… sorry,” you mumbled, looking around the living room, feeling a bit of that familiar shame crawl up your neck as you noticed the evidence that you hadn’t been picking up, or running a vacuum.

Vernon flopped backwards on your sofa, unphased, one arm bent behind his head. “We’ve been doing this for almost a year,” he pointed out. “I know how it usually is.”

It isn’t usually like this. And neither are you.

You wondered when it happened - your ability to finish his half-thoughts, your ability to know what he meant when he only said a fraction of it.

You stood awkwardly beside the couch where he was lounging, and he looked up at you with a tiny, amused smile.

“What do you wanna do?”

What you really wanted to do was cocoon yourself in blankets again and put on repeats of a show you’d already seen. But now you had to look functional. You might be mad at him for showing up like this, now that you thought about it.

“I dunno,” you said, which was close to the truth.

“You wanna eat?”

“Honestly?” you asked, pursing your lips a little. “No.”

“Okay,” he said easily, and it struck you again how different this was than how Chan treated you when you were low. Chan would have already had the food delivered, and would be chasing you around the table with loaded chopsticks, demanding you take a bite.

“Can we just… watch something?” you asked, unsure.

Vernon wordlessly reached for your remote and held it up to you, nonplussed.

You wondered if it was an act, how easy this was, how unbothered he was, how he seemed to just understand what wouldn’t help.

You knew it wasn’t; you’d been around long enough to know that Vernon’s demons weren’t all that different from yours.

You settled somewhere between his body and the back of the couch, one leg bent over his legs, one of your arms over his stomach and his arm curled around your shoulders.

“This is weird,” you muttered into his chest, and his laugh rumbled under you.

“Why?” he asked, his smile big, like he thought you were particularly funny. “Not used to being big spoon?”

Not used to cuddling - with you.

“Yeah,” you said, because that was easier.

On your TV, a show ran through several episodes, the changing scenes splashing you and Vernon with changing colors, casting his face blue and then white and then black and then red and then blue again. Sometimes he’d watch, sometimes he’d scroll on his phone. You mostly felt his heart beating under your hand and let your mind whir.

At some point he started mindlessly (or not mindlessly, who could know) stroking your back, gentle touches brushing up and down, slow, slow, the way he always was. At some point you shivered, goosebumps rising along your arms, and snuggled closer to him. At some point he shifted you from slightly beside him to on top of him, a second hand slipping under your loose tshirt and joining the first in tracing stripes up and down your upper back.

You shifted against him, something coming to life with a shudder like the furnace in your parent’s basement on cold autumn nights. Heat worked its way slowly from your core to your stomach, down your legs.

He kept his eyes on the tv, innocent, but you could hear his heartbeat. It couldn’t lie and pretend.

You shifted again, squirming until you’d worked his t-shirt up just enough that you could touch skin, too. You trailed your own fingers over the inch of exposed stomach you’d found, and delighted in the way you could feel him start to harden beneath you.

Then, you delighted in your delight. It was the first good thing you’d been able to feel in almost a week.

You said his name, and he finally looked down at you, eyes nearly black in the unlit room.

“What is it?” he asked, and his voice was suddenly so low it sent shivers tumbling down each vertebrae and tripping over to your limbs. “Want me to make you feel good?”

No, you wanted to say as you answered his question by pulling the hem of his t-shirt higher, encouraging him to lift up so you could pull it off. No, just want you to make me feel.

1 year ago

Everywhere Vernon looked, all he saw was circles. Circle of red in his bowl when he inhaled. Circle of condensation on the table when he lifted his beer. Circle of light reflecting from his phone case, laying in the setting sunlight, to the ceiling. Above him, the ceiling fan circled lazily, nowhere to be.

And you - you and him. That was a circle, too. A cycle, at least, which was close enough in his opinion. Text, hook up, skitter back to your respective places, wait out the next weekend. It was as rhythmic and routine as waves breaking and then getting pulled back out only to come shatter on sand again. It was out of his control, up to forces far greater than he was.

Vernon’s friends had texted to hang out and he’d declined. He told them he was seeing his parents, but really, he just wanted to be alone. He wanted to watch the ceiling fan circle, he wanted to let his brain go staticky quiet, he wanted to burrow deep into things that made him feel less.

But he still, somehow, wanted to see you. He wanted to be alone, and being with you didn’t feel like not getting that.

It was a little scary, he thought, that you were the exception. That he could be with you without feeling the uncomfortable pressure of being with others, of having to be on, of having to fake cheerfulness and keep up with chatter that only exhausted him.

Vernon wasn’t a kid. He knew what it meant.

whats up

honestly not a lot. want me to come over?

Yeah, he did. He did, even if you weren’t going to hook up. He did, even if you were just going to lay on opposite sides of the couch and scroll on your phones. He did, and he hoped he’d end up with his arms around you, and he hoped he’d make you laugh at least once, and he hoped you’d stay and just be there with him after.

When you came over, he asked you how you felt about it - about him, about you and him. He asked by laying you on your back in his bed, by brushing fingertips along your face. He asked you by sliding your leggings away gently, pressing his mouth to each inch of your inseam as it became exposed to his dimly lit room. He asked you by kissing you through the lace you wore for him, then kissing the same spot once that lace was on his floor.

He asked you when he crawled up your body until his tip teased at your entrance and you whined, shifting to try to take him. And - when he took it slow this time, teeth scraping at your neck and then tongue hurrying to soothe the sting, his arms bracketing your body like he was sheltering you from an incoming storm.

(Maybe, he considered, he was.)

(Maybe, he considered, he was worthless in the face of this storm’s wrath.)

(Maybe, he considered, he was the fucking storm in the first place.)

And you heard his question loud and clear. You pulled on your leggings as soon as you were cleaned up, popping your hood up over your head as you searched for your phone. You kept your eyes on your screen as you waited for a car to come, murmured, “Later,” on your way out the door.

Vernon’s apartment rang with quiet. He was alone, he’d gotten what he’d wanted.

He’d also, it seemed, gotten his answer.

<- Prev | Next ->

thank you so much for reading!!! i'm always happy to hear what you think!

[thecapricunt1616]

Dad!Carmy x Beach Day

Okok guys more Dad!Carmy brainrot! It’s time for a walk *gently grabs your hand* okay okay so your first is away at summer camp for the first time, that was it’s whole ordeal (Carmy cried the whole first week they were gone intermittently bc he missed them esp. after you put your littlest to bed bc ‘the routine just feels odd babe we’re missing one’) so to turn his frown upside down you had been planning little outings so he wouldn’t just sit by the mailbox every day like a sad puppy waiting for the letters your kid sends home. Todays outing: A beach day! 

(More BTC 🫶) 

So as soon as your Toddler got up that morning and told you she wanted to make sand castles that day, the choice was easy. Seeing your sexy man carrying your little girl on his shoulders while you relaxed and enjoyed premium beach snacks that he’d pack for you and get some well needed tanning time? That was always a good day. 

By this time - Carmy has gone full dad mode because having a son old enough for sleep away camp and a daughter out of diapers that’s about 8 years of dad-ing, he has it all. Meaning, the man has yes - he’s gotten a truck. *Keep walking don’t look at me that way* because imagine he’d be like 

‘Babe- think, when we take the kids camping, or when we go on trips- we need something with a lot of space, plus it’s so comfy inside! And seat warmers! So you won’t get cold in the winter. And I can get a snow plow for the front so i don’t have to keep spending hours doing the driveway in the winter, and grocery shopping! Whenever we go to Costco we never have enough space and it’s so much safer you should see the safety ratings on this thing the guy really sold me on it. Unc was for it babe! He told me to go for it’  

Like he would have an endless amount of reasons but let’s be real. Little man, big truck - plus your son would think it’s cool. So you’d be all comfy up front with your cooled seats, your daughter in back in her little princess sunglasses and flip flops chewing on bubble gum to be like dad because after 6 years he’s just replaced cigarettes with nic gum and he hasn’t even considered quitting. Of course she’d have one of those little screen things on the back of the seat and bluey is on deck, or Ms Rachel if he’s feeling particularly educational that day. 

He would of course stop at Starbucks when you and your daughter ask and get her a lemonade and a cake pop, get you your signature drink he’d already have memorized for years and then a black cold brew for himself - I still can’t picture the man having anything in his coffee he still seems like a black coffee dude to me!!! 

When you get to the beach he has the whole set up. I’m talking he has the truck bed loaded, he has a beach cart and everything. You are a beach cabana family you are that family. Because let’s be real if Carmy is anything he’s prepared and every family needs that guy so Nat and Richie and all the nieces and nephews would also come hang!! He’s researched and found you the comfiest beach chairs, he has a timer on his watch and is carrying the baby to the tent and baptizing her ass in sunscreen but it’s funny because you have to force him to let you get his back 

He would totally be the sand art uncle, he would help his daughter make the sickest sand castle ever, he would teach Evie his ways too like he’d have a whole method with adding water to build a base he would be in there. Oh!! And he would loooove taking his daughter hunting for seashells. Like imagine you’re just watching as he walks back and forth with her on the shore, bright blue bucket in one hand and her little hand in another, crouching down whenever he finds a cool one and doing the same when she finds one she wants to show and bring like

“Wow! That’s a pretty one baby, I can’t wait for you to show mama that one!” He would be so supportive omg. Also teaching her how to write her name in the sand 🥹. Don’t even get me started on him bringing her swimming. She would absolutely love the game of holding onto his back while he dives under the water and he’d tell her like “take a deep breath we’re gonna go under ready!” And he would just tire her out within a few hours so that she could take a nap on his chest in the cabana after you have lunch and get a chance to talk. Premier sandwiches of course, Carmy has mastered the beach sandwich. Doritos, the whole lot. 

Oh!! Oh!! And he is a total grill master. He has a little charcoal grill he makes you guys smash burgers on the beach and you get to hang and watch the sunset, around the 4th he would always bring sparklers for the kids they would be heavily supervised of course because Carmy plus fireworks is a nervous wreck but sparklers are ok 

And of course on the way home your daughter would beg to stop for ice cream and he would be suckered in because he is absolutely the pushover parent. 

To end the day if you came home and checked the mailbox and there was a fat letter from your son detailing all of the stuff they’ve been doing that week along with a ton of pictures from the polaroid camera you sent him with it would be a day he gushes about literally forever ingrained in his memory. 

Okay, I hope you enjoyed our walk 🫶

[aurorawritestoescape]

ADDICTED || Max Phillips x f!reader || 3k

Summary: Max gives you everything you need but can you stop when the pleasure gets addictive?

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, angst, daddy kink, dom/sub dynamic, biting, blood drinking (not graphic), f/m oral, mind control (dub-con, then very enthusiastic), slapping, unprotected piv, heartbreak, themes of addiction, obsession. Reader has hair. Pics are for the mood only, reader has no physical description.

A/n: this is for @iamasaddie ‘s Kinky May challenge with a prompt daddy kink for Max Phillips. Thank you for hosting it, Aly😘 Thank you @milla-frenchy for beta-ing and holding my trembling hand♥️ it’s my first time writing Max and I’m very nervous. Hope you all will enjoy it!💖

dividers by @saradika-graphics

MASTERLIST

You can’t get enough of him.

His fingers gripping your hair, his strong hips between your slicked up thighs, the burn his teeth leave behind, the pleasure his soft lips give you.

Yet most of all you can’t get enough of his voice.

It’s like the sweetest poison that seeps into your welcoming ear, tying you closer to him with every uttered sound. Making you addicted. Obsessed.

“You’re mine. All of you. Every drop, baby.”

“Yes, daddy,” you always agree with him. These are the rules of the game. You do what he says, he doesn’t leave you.

He gives you what you need. Purpose.

“You’re daddy’s hole. Nothing more. I’m here to fill you and feed on you. You don’t need anything else. Just daddy fucking his cum into you, load after load. While your blood satiates me. Drop after drop.”

“Yes, daddy…please, give it to me… want it…take it.”

You get so high on his voice telling you what to do, it’s euphoric. You’re always in a half trance. At work your mind is occupied by him; whenever you spend time with your family or friends, your thoughts are elsewhere. You don’t need them anymore. You are lost in him. In your mind you’re in bed, pressed by his heavy body. Limbs intervened, your sweaty skin flush against his as he’s claiming your body and soul.

It used to be easy. The first time you met at a club where Max tried to pick you up and succeeded. He was handsome, charming as hell, talkative, funny in an assholish way. Absolutely not your type, but you didn’t mind having fun. You two fucked in the bathroom and when he bit your neck and licked off the blood, you thought he was just kinky. The alcohol in your blood didn’t let you think straight. He made you come on his cock and you gave him your phone number.

Max came without a call, just appeared on your doorstep one night, and you let him in. You were cringing at your desire for some corporate suit, but he’d given it to you so good that night and you had never passed on a great fuck.

“I like you”, he said directly, lying on your sofa. He came right after work and told you that he was tired, at the same time exuding energy. You were staring at him, amused by his confidence. Max had an air about him like he owned the place and everything in it, including you.

“There’s something special about you,” he continued, pouting his lips in thought, “I don’t even need to command you. You’re so hungry. You do what I want all by yourself, baby.”

“Command me?”, you scuffed and snapped back, offended by his words, “Why don’t you go fuck yourself, baby”. Max was hot but a man would never be the boss of you, you thought.

He bucked his hips, getting more comfortable on your sofa, and shot you a smug smile that made you want to slap him. Before fucking him.

“Get on the sofa. All fours,” He told you, nodding at the spot next to him. His voice was the same, deep and gruff but somehow different. As if he grabbed your will and caged it in his big hand. Made it his will instead. And to your astonishment your body followed the order.

“Take off your clothes,” he said, sitting up, as your hands and knees were already planted firmly on the surface.

He got up and made you stand still while his hands were exploring your naked body — kneaded your breasts, twitched your nipples, glided over your back, slipped between your folds and swirled your throbbing clit. Your head was absolutely empty, your mind already occupied by only him.

“Beautiful,” he praised you, spreading your ass cheeks and admiring the view, “daddy’s gonna have so much fun with you.”

You bit your lip when he called himself that and then whimpered when he latched onto your pussy. He tasted your desire for him as his hot tongue slid between your folds and traced your crying hole. A whine escaped your parted lips when his mouth stopped caressing your cunt and he stood in front of you.

With widened eyes you watched him perch on the armrest of the sofa, spreading his thighs wide.

“You know what’s my favorite thing to do?” He asked, smirking at you.

You couldn’t say anything, so you were just blinking at him while a myriad of emotions were swirling inside your chest.

“Oh, you can’t answer, right. Baby though she’s in charge, huh?” Max chuckled and then leaned closer to you face, bringing his lips to your ear and whispered,

“Let’s see who’s in charge,” and added, “Come for daddy.”

You felt burning in your stomach, your core tightened, pussy started clamping around nothing, and you cried out as a hard orgasm began shaking your whole body, making your limbs tremble. He was palming himself, watching your face twist in pleasure, loud moans leaving your lips as the waves of ecstasy were lapping at your heated body. It was hard to stand still and his previous command was the only thing that kept you from collapsing on the sofa.

“Relax,” he told you and you plopped on the surface panting heavily, while aftershocks were still going through your body.

He stood up and you felt his thumb brush your cheekbone.

“Do you believe me now, sweetheart?” He asked with a head tilt, as his bulge was looming over your head.

You looked up at his smug face, smiled a little and replied,

“Yes, daddy. Please, do it again”.

Now when he’s in your bedroom, time stops. Life stops. As soon as he sits on the edge of your bed, you kneel between his thighs, your big eyes full of deep admiration, a short sheer nightie barely covering anything. He often buys you new lingerie. He enjoys spoiling you. Also blood is hard to wash off.

If he wants you to suck his cock, all he needs to do is nod at his crotch. But tonight he wants all of you.

“C’mere,” he tells you, patting his thigh with his big hand. In a second you’re sat on his lap, your naked pussy soaking his black suit pants.

“Nearly snapped someone’s neck at work today, incompetent idiot,” He grumbles in a low voice and asks, “How was your day, baby?”

You’re pouting your lips. Who cares? Fuck life. This is what you need. This is what makes you happy, ecstatic, euphoric.

“-was ok,” you mumble, as your stomach churns with impatience. Your gaze is set downcast while you’re fumbling with his crimson tie. He nuzzles your neck and takes a deep breath of your scent. A shudder goes through him from the way you smell and you slightly roll your hips, rubbing your needy pussy against his thigh.

“So impatient, baby. Do you remember how Daddy punished you for your impatience?” his cold palm wraps around your throat and tilts your head to the side, exposing more of your neck, where his favorite vein is fluttering like a little bird under his hungry gaze.

You won’t ever forget that punishment. You have been kneeling at the foot of your bed, watching him languidly play with his cock and balls. Your mouth was watering whenever a drop of precum slid down the curve of his fat tip. He has been edging you and himself for what felt like hours until he gave you the permission to suck his cock and you came just from having him in your mouth.

“Yes, I’m sorry, daddy. I’ll wait.”

“Good girl,” he says before his lips start sucking on your delicate skin, right over the artery. He licks the patch of skin there as his hand slithers under the neckline of your nightie and squeezes your breast.

“I’m gonna take a sip and you’re gonna be a good girl and play with Daddy’s cock, ‘k?

“Yes, please”.

You tilt your head even more, offering your blood to him as your left hand slides between your bodies. You find his belt buckle and undo it, stopping yourself from rushing. You don’t want daddy’s punishment tonight. You crave his reward.

You open his pants and moan as he breaks your skin with his fangs.

You got so used to the feeling, you don’t even notice the pain. The pain is like a threshold that you step over to get to the pleasure. A small price you pay each time for the immense ecstasy he’s going to give you.

As he starts gently sucking, you take out his cock which is already hard as steel and caress its velvety skin with your fingers. It twitches in your hand and Max growls.

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

You hastily spit in your palm and return your hand to his twitching length. You wrap your hand around it and begin pumping with a rhythm you know he loves.

You flutter your eyes shut, getting lost in the feeling, ready, so ready to give and get more.

You feel his precum on your hand, and without looking, you spread it over his soft skin.

Max’s lips smacking against your neck, his growling that sends pleasant vibrations through you, his tongue, gathering the blood off your skin, mixes with the squelching sounds of your hand, dancing over his cock. It’s throbbing, pulsating in your little hand and you press your body closer to his torso, wishing to feel his length against your belly.

“Daddy, may I have it, please?”

He groans and his lips leave your neck as he commands without using his powers, “lie down.”

You can’t follow the order quicker. You need him more than air. Your empty pussy is weeping to be filled, used, stretched by his manhood. Your whole being craves to serve his needs and after satiating his hunger for some time, your cunt is ready to be fed.

Your thighs fly apart and you look up at him with pleading eyes. Max is not cruel but he’s also quick to punish you if you piss him off.

His cock bobs when he gets between your thighs and a drop of precum lands on your mound. You already whine at the sensation.

“So obedient, you really want it tonight, huh?”

“I always want it… but yes, daddy, please,” you add hastily, batting your lashes at him.

“What do you want?”

As soon as he uses this voice, the atmosphere in the room changes. He was your ‘daddy’, now he’s your god. He asks and you reply without a moment of hesitation,

“I want not to feel anything but your cock deep in my cunt, not to think. Be so cockdrunk I can’t keep my eyes open.”

He smirks but there’s a trace of bitterness in his expression.

“I see.”

He sighs and grabs your thighs with his massive hands. He spreads your legs even wider, and when your pussy blooms for him he harshly spits on your throbbing clit, making you jerk and moan. The next second he lifts your hips up and pierces you with his cock. He’s either in a good mood which you doubt by his roughness or craves a release. With your ass lifted off the bed, you gasp suddenly feeling full as your walls are spreading for him. But you need more and he knows it.

“Do you feel me deep inside, baby?”

“Yeah, you’re so big, daddy.”

“Wanna feel more? “

“Yes, daddy, please. I’m begging you, I want nothing more.”

“ ‘k, baby. You’ve been such a good girl.”

Without a warning his voice changes and he starts ordering you.

“Listen to me, hear only my voice.”

The city noises from the outside are immediately gone. You hear nothing, not even ticking of a clock in your bedroom. Only his voice is in your ears as if he’s speaking right inside your mind.

“You feel nothing. Just. My. Cock. Deep inside your cunt. In your mind. In your veins. Everywhere.”

Your eyes roll back as you’re made to concentrate on his manhood in your trembling body.

“Your pussy is hugging me so well. Make her weep around my cock. Can never get enough of your juices soaking me, baby. You always feel so good. And you deserve to feel good too.”

“Yes, daddy, I do.”

You’re floating in a warm river, his voice, his being are enveloping you. Nothing exists anymore, just him and you are left. Then he rolls his hips and it gets almost unbearably overwhelming. His cock slowly slides in and out of your sopping pussy with ease and your brain, your core, your every cell light up brightly as you already feel yourself at the precipice.

He’s fucking you gently, then gets rougher and marks you with his teeth, drinking your blood. His cock is throbbing between your walls, his hands are sliding over your breasts, twitching your nipples and playing with your clit. His face flashes in front of your eyes and you’re kissing. That’s when you feel the explosion of pure, untainted ecstasy.

“Come harder”, he commands, and you know you’re crying at how amazing you feel. It’s all happening ‘there’, somewhere deep inside you, the place so wonderful you wish you’d never leave.

At the back of your mind you know that you’re getting obsessed. Sometimes you think there’s more of him in you than you. He’s behind your eyes constantly, his handsome face with a lopsided smile flashes there over and over. You could draw it by heart now. Day after day his teeth sink deeper into your neck, his cock pierces you harder and you welcome the pain. The high is so much better after a little bit of pain.

Max is careful with you. He knows his strength and knows the effect he has on you. He’s attentive. He sees your glazed over eyes, parted lips, your breathing almost stops. You’re not here with him, you’re nowhere. You start noticing fear in his eyes when it takes longer and longer to get you out of ‘there’.

Trickles of blood are seeping from two tiny holes in your neck. Your thighs thrown widely apart, his cum is glistening at your entrance as he watches you, sitting naked between your legs. His chin and mouth are red and he’s licking his lips, not wasting a drop of you.

“Baby, look at me.” Your eyes are staring up and to the left. You’re looking at something but don’t see anything.

“Look at me!”

He orders then calls for you, nothing, again and again, you don’t respond. He slaps your cheek, not hard, just to get you back but you refuse to return to him. In your mind you’re still coming on his cock, over and over, dripping, moaning, relishing the feeling of his cum filling you up to the brim. Why would you ever go back?

Suddenly it stings. He’s slapped you really hard and your cheek is burning.

“Daddy?” You murmur, gradually coming back to reality, blinking rapidly with tears in your eyes. He’s hovering over you, his hands gripping your shoulders, his black eyes under the furrowed brows look worried and sad. Then angry.

“I couldn’t get you back! Fucking hell! You were gone for a fucking hour. It’s never been that bad.”

“It wasn’t bad. ‘s good,” You mumble while your hand flies to rub your heated cheek. Your brain is still barely functioning and your whole body is tingling after such an amazing orgasm.

“I won’t do it anymore.” He throws at you, getting off you and sitting at the edge of the bed. “Fuck this!”

Your heart freezes, gripped by the fear, and you hastily sit up. You almost fall off the bed, drunk on the amount of endorphins in your blood and then slowly crawl to him.

“Daddy, don’t say it. I’ll get back alright.”

“Yeah, what if you don’t.”

‘It’s worth it,’ you think but don’t say it. Instead you lie to him. “I’m sure I’ll always get back. It just feels so good there.”

He’s shaking his head and your stomach churns with terror.

“You told me you’d killed people for fuck’s sake! Why do you care so much about me?!” You shout and he turns to you. His pained expression makes your chest hurt. Your heart is fluttering at how handsome he is, how much you love him but love quickly morphs into hate when he threatens to take away the best thing you’ve ever experienced. You beg again and again but he’s unyielding. Finally he gets tired of your whining and leaves.

Max visits you a couple of times after that. He fucks you but refuses to command you. He makes you come on his cock or tongue and every time you cry, beg and shout, demanding to tell you to stop feeling anything except him inside you. You unravel for him again and again but it’s just not enough. Not when you’ve been there, felt that much ecstasy.

“What if I turn you?” He offers at one point.

“Will you be able to tell me what to do?”

“No.”

“Then no”.

“But we can be together forever.”

“No, daddy, please, one more time.”

He curses and leaves and then he stops coming entirely. You text, call but he doesn’t respond. Your efforts to find him are fruitless. He’s never told you the details of his life. Or you just haven’t been listening. It’s like he has disappeared into thin air, like he was just a dream.

You cry and cry, not being able to sleep, eat, feel anything else except the void in your soul and life. Max has been filling it so well and now it’s sucking you in. Without that euphoria, without him controlling you, without your ‘daddy’, you have nothing. You wish for nothing else. Mindless hookups, rebound sex, numerous strangers in your bed— nothing can give you that satisfaction.

Max left and took your life with him.

Thank you for reading!♥️ Please, comment and reblog if you enjoyed the fic! It motivates me a lot!!🌸

Masterlist

Main tag list: @milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @missannwinchester @iamasaddie @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @auteurdelabre @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess @flamingochick55 @theoraekenslover @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @staywildflowahchild @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @evolnoomym @keylimebeag

Max tag @guelyury

If you'd like to be tagged in my future fics, let me know!💕

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: reader has been having a hard time, and with staying with the triplets, it’s only a matter of time beside they start asking questions.

Warnings: kind of a sad background for reader, mentions of parent reader fight (dad), Chris has a crush on reader, friends to lovers (eventually), fluff

Part One

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It’s been a week since you called Chris in the middle of the night. He’s had a crush on you forever, so of course he answered your call at two a.m.

He snapped awake and answered, voice still groggy, “Y/n. It’s two a.m. wha-“ he stops when he hears you crying, “Whoa. Hey. What’s happening right now?”

You gasp out, “m-my fuck-ing.. dad.” You say between cries, “kicked.. m-me out.”

“Where are you?” Chris asks sitting up, “I’ll go get Matt up.” He stands up, throwing on a pair of shorts as he listens to you trying to calm down so you can tell him where you are.

He rushes do Matt’s room yelling so loud that he woke up Nick, too, “Matt! Matt! C’mon. Wake up.” Matt groans and rolls over, “What the fuck, Chris!?”

“We have to go pick up y/n. Her dad kicked her out!”

And with that, Matt and Nick were both dressed and out to the car with Chris still on the phone with you. When they pulled up, you got in and they were all in their usual seats.

Immediately after shutting the door, you fall into nicks opens arms, sobbing against his chest, “Hey.” Nick says softly, “You’re safe, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

As much as Chris appreciates Nick comforting you, he can’t help but chew on his bottom lip as he throws his hood up, staring out the window as Matt drives you back to their house.

That was the last time you talked about it. You mainly stayed in the spare room most of the day, only coming out to get a drink or to sneak to the bathroom.

Your eyes move to the clock that’s on the nightstand.

05:23 PM

You let out a sigh, listening to Self Care by Mac Miller play once again. You’ve had it on loop all day. For some reason, you just really felt like you needed it to play.

There’s a soft knock on your door and you sit up, “Yeah?” You watch as the door opes and Chris walks in, “We’re probably going to get pizza for dinner, if that’s okay?”

You smile slightly, nodding as you reach over to pause the song, “Yeah, that’s fine.” He nods, looking around the floor for a few seconds before he looks back at you, “Are you okay?”

You stop breathing for a second, nodding, “Yeah.” You sigh quietly and Chris crosses his arms, “Alright.. I’m just making sure because I kept hearing Mac each time I passed the door and it just so happens to be the same song I listen to when I’m upset with stuff so..yeah.”

His words shock you.

You manage to muster up enough strength to speak, “It is?” He gives you a nod and you can feel the tears brewing because you want to tell someone how loud your dad screamed at you, the holes in the wall that he made by punching them.

He closes the door fully and walks over, “You can talk to me, I’m not gonna say anything unless you want me to.”

Your eyes meet his and that’s when you break, leaning into him, his arms wrap around you. You lay your forehead against his neck and just start telling him everything as you cry.

He plants gently kisses to your forehead and calms you down each time you get worked up.

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Hi thanks for reading! Ilysm! Let me know how you liked it!

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Same Team! A YJH Office Romance Pt. 4

Idol!Jeonghan x ProductionStaff!Reader

You’re serious about your job, but not as serious as Yoon Jeonghan is about flirting.

~1.1k words

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Series Content: slooowwwwww burn, fluff!, cute flirting!, will-they-won’t-they vibes!, tension!!, occasional alcohol consumption, office crushes, office romance, appearances by all of the members, reader is shy and gets flustered easily!, jeonghan is jeonghan-ing!

My Masterlist

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading!! This part features Dino and Shua 😊, MC is crushing hard!! How does Jeonghan feel?? We’ll see! Remember this is as slow of a slow burn as you can get! But I will have these two touch soon don’t worry. Also yes, there is the corny character-forgot-their-own-birthday trope in this part, sorry! Enjoy!!

Taglist:  @yeoberryx, @crownprincehoeshi (ask me if you want to join my taglist! 😊)

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

You practically ran to the parking lot from the equipment storage closet, touching up your makeup faster than you ever had in your life in the elevator before meeting Jeonghan, Joshua, and Dino outside the building.

“Nuna!” Dino called out in an excited voice. You and Dino had gotten along almost immediately. He was very sweet. He was the maknae, after all, so you couldn’t help but feel endeared to him. You were often tasked with helping him out with Lives, and he sometimes asked you to shoot his dance challenges.

“Dino-mite!” This was your nickname for him after you’d made the awkward pun trying to hype him up while you were filming one of his challenges, and the two of you couldn’t stop laughing.

“Wah, I’m so curious to talk to you outside of work!” Dino was visibly excited, jogging to meet you halfway while Jeonghan and Joshua hung back. He’s so cute, you thought. Honestly you were relieved that someone as outgoing as Dino was coming with you. You felt like it cut the tension you felt around Jeonghan in half. You were also relieved that Joshua was joining you. You still hadn’t quite gotten to know him. But you spoke in English together sometimes, which felt nice. He was quite softspoken, really. But he could help you out with Korean, too, if needed.

“I’m happy you’re coming too, Y/N,” Joshua said to you, already speaking in English. “Jeonghan told me and I was really surprised, to be honest.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t gone out with you all sooner,” you said in English.

“Wait, speak Korean!” Dino whined jokingly.

“You should practice English.” Joshua said.

“Oh, come on,” Dino said, “we’re supposed to have fun! I want to talk freely with Y/N! Nuna your Korean is really good!” You laughed.

“Joshua, Dino, sit in the back,” Jeonghan said, as the four of you reached the car. “Y/N is sitting up front.”

“I didn’t hear her call it,” Dino said.

“She doesn’t have to; this is a special treat for her first time going out drinking with us.” Jeonghan looked at you, and you felt your throat tighten and your heart start pounding harder. A treat!? Am I that obvious to him?

“It’s okay, I can sit in the back!” you said almost too hastily. I thought we were getting dinner, you thought. We’re going to drink? The two other times you’d gone out drinking with people in Seoul had been rough. You were a lightweight to begin with and could not keep up with your coworkers. You ended up staying out all night and coming in to work hungover, which you’d never done before in your life.

“Nope, too late, you’re sitting in the front.” Jeonghan said.

“Fine,” Dino said, “but only because it’s nuna and we get to relax together.” The three of you laughed at his sudden sincerity, and you climbed into the passenger seat, Jeonghan sitting right next to you.

He looks good behind the wheel. You couldn’t help thinking. God, even him driving excited you. You had to be careful drinking around him.

“Nuna pass me the aux,” Dino said, queuing up music.

The four of you spent the car ride chatting, laughing at Dino’s random questions and rambling jokes. Jeonghan chided you for being too nice and laughing every time. He told you that if you laugh at his jokes too much he’ll think that he can tell them all the time. Joshua chuckled pleasantly in the back... You almost felt comfortable, until you’d catch a periodic glimpse of Jeonghan looking at you out of the corner of your eye. At a red light, as he cruised down a long road, as he pulled into the quiet parking lot of the small, out-of-the-way bar...

He's probably not actually looking this much, you thought. But you felt flustered.

“Ah, this place,” Joshua said.

“You’ve already been?” you asked.

“One time. They have private rooms, so it’s not too crazy.”

“Whoa, cool,” Dino said, admiring the clean-cut but secluded vibe of the place.

The parking lot was practically empty. You were relieved to hear that the place was quite private. You did not want to deal with any rumors. It was pretty normal for staff to spend time with the members like this, but still. You were an easy person to recognize here, and were never sure what could end up jeopardizing your job or your image. The celebrity culture aside, you were kind of self-conscious in public still. Everyone was perfectly nice! You were just self-conscious by nature. Usually people warmed up to you once you spoke with them— knowing that you spoke Korean put most people at ease. But you still felt like you might be doing something you shouldn’t without realizing it sometimes.

Did he pick this place on purpose? You wondered, watching Jeonghan walk through the front door to the bar. You knew that you were probably being presumptuous, but you wondered.

The hostess led the four of you to a room toward the back, partitioned off by a beautiful, floral-patterned curtain. The lighting was quite low, giving the room kind of a sexy atmosphere.

“Whoaaaa...” Dino stared around in wonder. “This place is so nice!”

“We’re celebrating,” Jeonghan said, swiftly taking the seat beside you. Your eyes widened involuntarily. You tried to breathe as you fumbled with one of the menus. 

“Celebrating what?” Joshua asked.

“Y/N’s birthday,” Jeonghan said. Your head snapped up to look at him.

Oh my God, you thought, reaching for your phone...

I forgot my own birthday.

“What!?” Dino practically yelled.

“Wait, what!” Joshua added.

You were frozen, looking at your phone screen. Never in your life did you imagine that you would be so preoccupied you would forget your own birthday. You just kept gaping at the date on your screen, but you could feel the familiar sensation of a certain pair of eyes trained right on you.

You turned, still astonished toward Jeonghan.

“How did you know it was my birthday?”

“You told me!”

“What?” You said, still stunned.

“Never mind, Nuna,” Jeonghan laughed lightly at you, “order whatever you want.”

“Ooo, Yoon Jeonghan that was smooth,” Joshua teased.

“It’s polite to offer to pay on someone’s birthday,” Jeonghan said, his hair cascading forward as he glanced down at the menu, obscuring his face from your view. You were still staring at him, your heart pounding so loud that you were sure he could hear it. We’re sitting so close, you noticed.

“Whoa, hyung,” Dino said, “that was a cool thing to say.”

“I’m not paying for you just so you know,” Jeonghan said.

“Not cool,” Dino replied, making Joshua laugh.

“...Thank you,” you said softly. Your voice came out weaker than you wanted it to, but hopefully it was loud enough for Jeonghan to hear.

He didn’t immediately react, so you were about to repeat yourself, but he turned just his head, leaning over the menu, to face you—his face was so close you could see his individual eyelashes.

“Nuna,” he said, smiling in his usual plotting way, “let’s get to know each other before we go to Paris.”