#i need to work on perspective and anatomy :( appreciate the attempt

[burninbriight]

i have this headcanon that akutagawa is really ticklish and a burning desire to draw him happy

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Dark”

Welcome back, everyone! Can you believe it's been six weeks already? I can't. Something something the uncomfortable passage of time during a pandemic as emphasized by a web-series.

But we're here to talk about RWBY the fictional story, not RWBY the cultural icon. At least, we will in a moment. First, I'd like to acknowledge that shaky line between the two, growing blurrier with every volume. A sort of good news, bad news situation.

The bad news — to get that out of the way — is that we cannot easily separate RWBY from its authors and those authors have, sadly, been drawing a lot of negative attention as of late. This isn't anything new, not at all, but I think the unexpectedly long hiatus gave a lot of fans (myself included) the chance to think about Rooster Teeth's failings without getting distracted by their biggest and brightest production. There's a laundry list of problems here — everything from the behavior of voice actors to the quality of their merch — but as a sort of summary issue, I'd like to highlight the reviews that continue to pop up on websites like Glassdoor, detailing the toxic, sexist, crunch-obsessed environment that RT employees are forced to work in. A lot of these websites requires a login to read more than a page of reviews, but you can check out a Twitter thread about it here. 

Now, I want to be clear: I'm not bringing this up as a way to shame anyone enjoying RWBY. This isn't a simplistic claim of, "The authors are Problematic™ and therefore you can't like the stuff they produce." Nor is this meant to be a catch-all excuse for RWBY's problems. If it were, I'd have dropped these recaps years ago. I'm of the belief that audiences maintain the right to both praise and criticize the work they're given, regardless of the context in which that work was produced. At the end of the day, RT has presented RWBY as a finished product and, more than that, presents it as an excellent product, one worth both our emotional investment and our money (whether in the form of paying for a First account, or encouraging us to buy merch, attend cons, etc.) I'll continue to critique RWBY as needed, but I a) wanted fans to be at least peripherally aware of these issues and b) clarify that my use of "RT" in statements like, "I can't believe RT is screwing up this badly" is meant to be a broad, nebulas acknowledgement that someone in the company is screwing up, either creatively (doesn't have the skill to write a good scene) or morally (hasn't created an environment in which other creators are capable of crafting a good scene). The real, inner workings of such companies are mostly a secret to their audiences and thus it's near impossible for someone like me — random fan writing these for fun as a casual side hobby — to accurately point fingers. Hence, broad "RT." I just wanted to clarify that when I use this it's as a necessary placeholder for whoever is actually responsible, not a damnation of the overworked animator breaking down in a bathroom. Heavy stuff, but I thought it was necessary (or at least worthwhile) to acknowledge this issue as we head into the second half of the volume.

Now for the good news: RWBY has reached 100 episodes! For any who may not know, 100 is a pretty significant number in the TV world because, when talking about prime time programming, it guarantees syndicated reruns. Basically, networks don't want audiences to get burned out with a show — changing the channel when it comes on because ugh, I've seen this already, recently too — and 100 episodes allows for a roughly five month run without any repeats, making it very profitable. RWBY is obviously not a television show and doesn't benefit from any of this (hell, modern television doesn't benefit from this as much as it used to, not in the age of streaming), but the 100 episode threshold is still ingrained in American culture. Beyond just being a nice, rounded number, it is historically a measure of huge success and I can't imagine that RT isn't aware of that. Regardless of what we think of RWBY's current quality, this is one hell of a milestone and should be applauded.

All that being said... RWBY's quality is definitely still lacking lol.

Our 100th episode is titled "Dark" — keeping with the one word titles, then — and I'd like to emphasize that, as a 100th episode, it definitely delivers in terms of plot. There's plenty of action, important character beats, and at least one major reveal, everything we'd expect from a milestone and a Part II premiere. The animation also continues to be noteworthy for its beauty, as I found myself admiring many of the screenshots I took for this recap. There are certainly things to praise. The only problem (one we're all familiar with by now) is that these small successes are situated within a narrative that's otherwise falling apart. It's all good stuff... provided you ignore literally everything else surrounding it.

But let's dive into some examples. We open on Qrow starting, awoken by the thunder outside. Robyn has been watching him and makes a peppy comment about how none of them will be sleeping tonight, followed by a more serious, "Sounds bad out there." Yeah, it does sound bad, especially when they all know — thanks to Ruby's message back in Volume 7 — that this is due to Salem's arrival. I think a lot of the fandom has forgotten that little detail because people often discuss Qrow as if he is entirely ignorant of what is going on outside his cell. Even if we were to assume that he's forgotten all about the pesky Salem issue (the horror of Clover's death overriding everything else, perhaps) he still knows that Tyrian is running loose in a heat-less city with a creepy storm going on and, from his perspective, the Very Evil Ironwood is still running the show. So it's bad, which begs the question of why Qrow (and Robyn, for that matter) hasn't displayed an ounce of legitimate worry for everyone he knows out there. Thus far, their interactions have centered entirely around Qrow's misplaced blame and Robyn's terrible attempts to lighten the mood, despite the fact that a war is raging right beyond that wall. It's another example of RWBY's inability to manage tone properly, to say nothing of balancing the multiple concerns any one character should be trying to juggle. Just as it rankles that Ruby and Yang don't seem to care about what has happened to their uncle, Qrow likewise doesn't seem to care about what might be happening to his nieces. When did we reach a point where these relationships are so broken that someone can be arrested/chucked into a deadly battle and the others just... ignore that?

So Robyn's otherwise innocuous comment immediately reminds me of how badly the narrative has treated these conflicts and, sadly, things don't improve much from here. We are thankfully spared more of Robyn's jokes when Qrow realizes that what he's hearing can't be thunder. A second later, Cinder blasts through the wall — called it! — and Qrow instinctively transforms. 

The only downside to this moment is that the whole ceiling falls down on Qrow and the others because APPARENTLY these cells don't have tops on them. Seriously. As far as I can recall we don't see the stone breaking through the forcefield somehow and this looks pretty open to me.

If it is... you're telling me these crazy powerful fighters who practice landing strategies and leap tall buildings in a single bound —

— can't just hop over this mildly high electric fence to get out? Qrow can't just fly away?

We're, like, two minutes in, folks.

We transfer to Nora's perspective as she wakes up, seeing Klein giving her the IV. He tells her not to worry, that "you and your friend are going to be just fine." What friend? Penny? Klein went upstairs prior to Weiss hugging Whitley or Penny crash landing outside. I had thought them bursting through the door with another unconscious friend was the first time he learned what the big bang outside was, but apparently not.

Penny is, obviously, a mess. While I now understand the choice to make her blood such an eye-catching color when that's crucial to the Hound's hunt, I still think it looks strange visually. Like someone has taken a copy of RWBY and painted over it. It doesn't look like it fits the art style. More than that, it implies some rather complicated things about Penny's humanity, especially in a volume focused around her being a "real girl." Real enough for Maiden powers, but with obviously inhuman blood that isn't even referred to as "bleeding." Penny "leaks" instead.

Toss in the fact that she's literally an android who is made up of tech — recall the running gags about her being heavy, or it hurts to fist-bump her, to say nothing of keeping things like multiple blades inside her body — yet Klein says that her "basic anatomy" is the same and he can "stitch up that wound."

I'm sorry, what? Whatever Penny looks like on the inside, it's not going to resemble a human woman's anatomy, and Klein might be able to stitch the outer layer of skin she's got, but that won't do anything to fix whatever metal bits have been broken underneath. Penny isn't a human-robot hybrid, she's a robot with an aura. Penny has knives in her back, rockets in her feet, and a super computer behind her eyes. When our clip introduced that Klein would be the one to help Penny, my initial reaction was, "Seriously? He's a butler and a doctor and an engineer?" But RWBY didn't even try to get away with a Super Klein explanation, they just waved away Penny's very obvious, inhuman anatomy. Yeah, I'm sure "stitching up" an android wound is just like giving Nora her IV. I hope the surgical sutures he used are extra strong!

In an effort to not entirely drag this episode, I do appreciate that Whitley is allowed an "ugh" moment about the non-blood covering his shirt without anyone calling him out on it. That felt like the sort of thing the show would usually try to make a character feel guilty about and I'm glad that, for once, he was just allowed to be frustrated without comment.

Then the power goes out and May calls, which raises questions about what state the CCTS is in and when scrolls are available to our protagonists vs. when they're not. But whatever. She's checking in because she just "saw another bombing run light up the Kingdom" and —

Wait. Bombing? Salem is bombing the city? I know we've seen explosions in the sky, but I'd always just attributed that to evil aesthetic. Why does this dialogue sound like it's from a World War II film and not a fantasy sci-fi show about literal monsters launching a ground attack?

May looks pretty against the sky though. I like her hair color against that purple.

I'm admittedly grasping at positives here because we finally return to her "You have to choose" ultimatum and — surprise! — May has pulled back completely. Ruby says that once they've helped Penny, "We'll...we'll do something!" which is once again her avoiding making a decision. Ruby still refuses to choose, instead falling back on generic, optimistic pep talks. They'll figure out how to stop Salem later. They'll think about the impact of telling the world later. They'll choose who to help later. Ruby keeps pushing these problems into the future where, she hopes, a perfect, magical solution will have appeared for her to latch onto. When that continues to not happen, others pressuring her to actually do something and stop waiting for perfection — Ironwood, Yang, May — she panics and continues stalling for time. Wait an episode and the narrative supports her in this.

Because initially May was forcing Ruby to decide. Now, May enables her desire to keep putting things off. "Don't beat yourself up, kid. At this point, I don't know how much is left to be done." That's the exact opposite of what May believed last episode, that there was still so much work and good to do for the people of Mantle. This is precisely what the show did with Yang and Ren's scenes too, having people call Ruby out... but then return to a message of, 'Don't worry, you're actually doing just fine' before Ruby is forced to actually change.

None of which even touches on May calling her "kid" in this moment. That continues to be a convenient way of absolving Ruby of any responsibility. When she wants to steal airships or Amity Tower, she's an adult everyone should listen to, the leader of this war. When the story wants to absolve her of previously mentioned flaws, she becomes a kid who shouldn't "beat herself up." I said years ago that RWBY couldn't continue to let the group be both children and adults simultaneously, yet here we are.

So that was a thoroughly disappointing scene. Ruby gets her moment to look sad and defeated, listing "the grimm, the crater, Nora, Penny" as problems she doesn't know how to solve. Note that 'Immortal witch attacking the city I've helped trap here' isn't included in that list. Ruby is still ignoring Salem herself and no one in the group is picking up where May left off, challenging her to do more than wring her hands over things others are already trying to take care of: Ironwood is fighting the grimm, May has gone off to help the crater, Klein is patching up Nora and Penny. Ruby, as one flawed individual, should not be expected to come up with a solution to everything, but she does need to stop acting like she can come up with a solution to everything when it matters most (office scene) and rejecting others' solutions when they ask for her help (Ironwood, May).

If it feels like I'm dragging the flawed, traumatized teenager too much, it's not in an effort to ignore those aspects of her identity. Rather, it's because she's also the licensed huntress who wrested control from a world leader and violently demanded she be put in charge of this battle. Ruby, by her own actions, is now responsible for dealing with these problems, or admitting she was wrong and letting others take the lead, without purposefully derailing their plans. She doesn't get to suddenly go, "I don't know," cry a little, and get sympathetic pats.

But of course that's precisely what happens, courtesy of Weiss.

During this whole scene I kept wondering why no one was celebrating Nora waking up, especially when Ruby outright mentions her. Have they just not noticed given all the Penny drama? Because Nora absolutely woke up.

Aaaand went back to sleep, I guess. What was the point of that POV shot? No worries though, she'll wake up again in a minute.

Willow arrives and announces that they can fix the power (and Penny) using the generator at the edge of the property. I'm convinced RT doesn't actually know what a generator is because the characters are acting like it's some super special device that only richy-rich could possibly have. Whitley says that it's the SDC executives who have their "own power supply" and that it's "extremely unfair." Now, don't get me wrong, a good generator powering large portions of your house can run you 30k+, but you can also get one that plugs into your extension cord and powers your fridge for a couple hundred. There's absolutely a class issue here, just not the one Whitley and Weiss seem to be commenting on. They make a generator sound like the sort of device that only a politician-CEO could possible have and it's weird.

Likely, it sounds weird because it's a choppy way of getting Whitley to bring up the wealth disparity so he can then go, 'That's right! We're crazy rich with a company housing tons of ships! We can use those to evacuate Mantle.' Awkwardness aside, I do like that the Schnee wealth is being used for good purposes, but... evacuate where? To the city currently under attack by a giant whale? In a RWBY that wasn't determined to demonize Ironwood, this would have been a great plot point during the office scene instead, with Weiss offering her services to Ironwood, even if the group decides that a continued evacuation still isn't possible.

Instead, we get it here from Whitley. Do I need to point out the obvious? That Whitley is the MVP of this episode? He's done more good in an HOUR than the group has managed in a year. Give this kid some training and make him a huntsmen instead.

We're given a (very pretty!) shot of the shattered moon because it wouldn't be RWBY if we weren't continually reminded that gods once wiped out humanity before destroying part of a celestial body... and absolutely no one talks about that lol.

Blake's coat might not make any sense for her color scheme, but it does make her easy to spot as she and Ruby run across the grounds. Oh my god, they're actually doing something together! It only took eight years. They even get a lovely talk where Blake admits how much she looks up to Ruby, despite her being younger, and once again I'm struck at how much more I would have loved this scene if it had appeared elsewhere in the series. It is, indeed, as sweet and emotional as all the RWBY GIF-ers are claiming... provided you overlook that this is the exact opposite of what Ruby needs to hear right now. She doesn't need to hear that she's more mature and reliable than her elders when she's functioning under a "We don't need adults" mentality. She doesn't need to hear that not knowing what to do is totally fine, not when that led to her turning on Ironwood, despite not knowing how to stop Salem. She doesn't need to hear that "doing something" — doing anything — is a strength, because Ruby keeps avoiding the big problems for smaller ones she's comfortable with, like standing by Penny's bedside instead of deciding between Mantle and Atlas. Blake's speech is heartfelt, but it's a speech that suits a Beacon days Ruby who is having some doubts about her leadership skills, not the girl whose impulsive — and now lack of — actions is having world-wide repercussions. Everyone is babying Ruby to a staggering degree. It's like if we had a med show where the doctor is standing by the bedside of a coding patient, fretting between two treatments. 'Don't worry,' their colleague says, patting their shoulder. 'I've always looked up to you. You'll do something when you're ready' and then they continue to watch the patient, you know, die.

Also: who does Ruby look up to? Everyone talks about how much they depend on and trust Ruby, but who does Ruby look to for guidance? A number of her problems stem from the fact that she has rejected the advice of everyone who has tried to help her improve: Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, even Yang. Ruby is presented as the pinnacle of what to strive for in a leader, rather than a leader who has only been doing this for two years and still has a great deal to learn.

Anyway, they get the generator on and the Hound shows up.

I am begging RT to just make RWBY a horror story. All their best scenes the last three years have been horror I am bEGGING —

Anyway, while Ruby waits to be eaten we cut to Willow and Klein, the former of which is reaching for her bottle, pulling back, reaching again, all while her hand shakes. This is good. This is what we should have gotten with Qrow. Which isn't to say that their (or anyone's) addiction should be identical, but rather that this is a far more engaging and complex look at addiction than what our birb got. Willow tells us that she doesn't drink in the dark despite bringing the bottle with her; tries to resist drinking when she's scared and ultimately fails. Qrow just decided to stop drinking after decades of addiction, seemingly for no reason, and that was that. Why is a side character we only met this volume written better than one of the main cast?

Blake manages to call Weiss about the Hound and she asks if Whitley can handle the airships without her. I mean, I assume so given that Weiss is looking at the bookshelves while Whitley does all the work lol. He makes a teasing comment about how he can if she can handle that grimm and she comments that they still need to work on his "attitude."

No they don't. Weiss stuck a weapon in her kid brother's face. Whitley made a joke. Even if Weiss' comment is likewise meant to be read as teasing, it's clear that we've bypassed any meaningful conversation between them. That hug was supposed to be a Fix Everything moment even though, as I've laid out elsewhere, it didn't even come close.

We cut back to Ruby getting thrown through a wall into the backyard and the Hound creepily coming after her. She's freaked out by this clearly abnormal grimm and Blake is weirdly... not? "It's just a grimm. Just focus!" Uh, it's obviously not. Have we reached the traumatized, sleep-deprived point where the group is sinking into full-blown denial? I wouldn't be surprised. They've been awake for like... 40+ hours.

Because the Hound knocks Ruby out with a single hit. Just, bam, she's down. "Focusing" is not the solution here.

Weiss calls to warn the others about the grimm, telling them to stick together. Willow (understandably) starts freaking out and flees the room (classic horror trope!). Klein is left alone when Penny wakes up with red eyes. Oh no!

Don't worry. You know nothing meaningful happens.

She shoves Klein before (somehow?) resisting the hack, her Maiden powers going wild in the process. Just when it looks as if Penny might cause some serious damage, Nora wakes up, takes her hand, and says, I kid you not:

"Hey... no one is going to make you do anything you don't want to do... It's just a part of you. Don't forget about the rest."

Okay. I want to re-emphasize that I love hopeful, uplifting, victory-won-through-the-power-of-love stories. Istg I'm not dead inside, it's just that RWBY does this so badly. I mean, what is this? It has similarities to the character shouting, 'No! Resist!' to their mind-controlled ally, but this is not presented as a desperate, last-ditch effort by Nora. She just speaks like this is the most obvious truth in the world. If you don't want to have your mind taken over... just don't! It's that simple. The problem definitely isn't that Watts has changed her coding and has implemented a command she can't override, it's that Penny has forgotten about the "rest" of her personhood.

And this works. Granted, not for long, but we leave Nora having successfully calmed Penny down and until her eyes unexpectedly go red again scenes later, we're left assuming that this is a permanent solution. That, imo anyway, is taking the Power of Love too far, overriding the basic reality of Penny being hacked. It’s not a personal failing she must overcome, it’s an external attack. I would have rather had Nora react to the scars she saw on her arm, or have a moment with Klein, or get some love from the group. Not a wakes up, falls asleep, wakes up again to save Penny with a Ruby level 'Just ignore reality' pep-talk, then back to sleep again.

So Penny isn't attacking her allies, or mistakenly hurting her allies with wild Maiden powers. Not that the group doesn't have enough to deal with, but still. Weiss arrives to help with the Hound and attempts a new summon, only to fail when two minor grimm burrow up into her glyphs. I really enjoyed that moment, both for the wing visual and the knowledge that Weiss' glyphs can fail if you break them somehow (which makes sense). Also, I just like that she failed in general? Weiss is, as per usual now, about to demonstrate just how OP she is compared to the rest of the team, so it was nice to see her faltering here.

The Hound tries to make off with Ruby and Blake does an excellent job of keeping it tethered. Ruby finally wakes, only to realize that the grimm is actually after Penny since it's staring at her power up through the window, no longer trying to escape. Moments like this remind me that there's someone on RT's writing team that knows what they're doing, at least some of the time. The assumption that the Hound is after Ruby as a SEW, the surprise that it's actually Penny, realizing it holds up because Ruby is covered in Penny's blood and Blake is not... that's all nice, tight plotting. More of that please!

The Hound drops her and Ruby's aura shatters when she hits the ground. I want everyone to remember this moment as an example of how strong the Hound is. The group may be tired, but unlike YJR they've been sitting around in the Schnee manor for a number of hours, regaining strength. We saw the Hound hit Ruby twice — once through the wall and once to knock her out — and then she falls from a not very high distance for a huntress, yet her aura is toast. That's the level of power and skill the Hound possesses. Decimating YJR, knocking Oscar out, same for Ruby, avoiding Blake and Weiss' hits, soon to treat Penny like a ragdoll. Just remember all this for the episode's end.

Blake tells Weiss she'll take care of Ruby, you go help the others. Yay breaking up the duos more! Bad timing though as the new acid-spitting grimm pops out of the ground and Blake is now left alone to face it.

Weiss re-enters the mansion, knowing the Hound is somewhere nearby, but not where. Suddenly, Willow's voice sounds through her scroll with an, "Above you!" which... doesn't keep Weiss from getting hit lol. But it's the thought that counts! Willow has accessed the cameras she's set up throughout the manor, watching the Hound's movements, and I have to say, that is a WAY better use of her separation from Klein than I thought we were getting. I legit thought they'd have Willow run away in a panic, meet the Hound, die, and then Weiss could be sad about losing her mom.

It does say something about RWBY's writing that this was my knee-jerk theory, as well as my surprise when we got something way better.

The Hound runs off, uninterested in Weiss, and she asks Willow to keep tabs on it. It heads for Whitley next (also covered in Penny's blood) and very creepily stalks him in the office with a, "I know you're here." Whitley is seconds away from being Hound chow before one of Weiss' boars pin it against the wall. He runs, then runs BACK to finish deploying the airships, before finally escaping assumed death. Goddamn this boy is pulling his weight.

I assume all these ships are automated then? I hope someone takes a moment to call May. Otherwise it's going to be super weird for the Mantle citizens if a fleet of SDC ships just show up and hover there...

I don't entirely understand how Weiss saved him though. She's nowhere to be seen when Whitley leaves and he runs a fair distance before he and Willow encounter Weiss again. We know her summons don't have to keep right next to her, but are they capable of rudimentary thought, attacking an enemy — and an enemy only — despite Weiss being a couple corridors down and unable to see the current battlefield? I don't know. In another series I'd theorize that this was a deliberate hint, a way to clue us into the fact that Willow, someone who we currently know almost nothing about, had training in the past and summoned the boar herself. Weiss and Winter certainly didn't get that hereditary skill from Jacques. Hell, we might still get that, Weiss reacting with confusion next episode when Whitley thanks her for the boar, but I doubt it. That scene with Ruby and the Hound aside, the show isn't this good at laying groundwork and then following up on it.

Case in point: Weiss says, "I didn't forget you" to Whitley after he gets away from the Hound, the moment trying to harken back to her promise to Willow. Key word is "trying." Because she absolutely forgot him! Weiss threatened and ignored Whitley until he proved his usefulness. I also shouldn't need to point out that, "Don't forget your brother" does not mean, "Don't let your brother die a horrible death by abnormal grimm." Weiss acts like her saving him is a fulfillment of her promise, rather than just the most basic of human decency. And also, you know, her job.

So that part is frustrating. The entire Schnee dynamic is a mess, from Weiss making a joke of her father's arrest, to Willow (presumably) fixing their relationship by putting a hand on her daughter's shoulder. Okay.

Then Weiss cuts off the Hound by summoning a giant wall of ice. My brain, every time this happens:

YOU COULD HAVE FIXED THE HOLE IN MANTLE'S WALL.

Moving on, Blake's fight against the acid... thing has some great choreography, including Blake using her semblance which we haven't seen in AGES. 

I really like the fight itself, just not what Blake is shouting the whole time. "I need you, Ruby! We all need you!" This has really gotten ridiculous. Ruby is presented as everyone's sole savior despite failing time and time again. It's not that I don't think Blake as a character should have faith in her leader, it's that I don't think the writers should be crafting a story where everyone puts their unshakable hopes in an untrained, disloyal, impulsive 17 year old. I mean, Ruby is currently unconscious, yet Blake is acting like if she doesn't wake up — she, as an individual, if Ruby Rose does not re-join this fight — then all is lost. If Ruby doesn't save them, no one can. Which is, of course, absurd on numerous levels. Blake doesn't need the passed out, aura-less Ruby right now, she needs the still very healthy Weiss pulling out multiple summons and an ice wall! Use your scroll and call for backup again.

But of course, Ruby wakes up and kills the new, terrifying grimm with a single hit. It's a preview of what's to come with the Hound and it's just as ridiculous here as it will be there.

Speaking of the Hound, am I the only one who thought this was... cute?

I can't possibly be the only one. That head-tilt is exactly what my dogs do and my brain instinctively went, "Aww, puppy!"

Murderous puppy.

The Hound realizes none of the Schnees are who it's looking for and runs off. Penny, meanwhile, has been fully taken over because, well, that's just what's convenient now. She resists long enough keep Amity up, then succumbs, then resists to apologize to Ruby, then succumbs, then resists because Nora asked her to, then succumbs once it's time to knock her out. If RWBY was willing to commit to consequences, Penny would have been taken over and that was that. The characters would need to deal with whatever outcome happens as a result. Instead, the show very carefully avoids any of those pesky consequences by having Penny successfully resisting at key moments, despite no explanation of how she's managing that.

She shoves Klein again (Klein is having a Bad Time) and starts walking down the main steps. When Whitley wants to know where the hell she's going, Penny mechanically responds that she must "Open the vault, then self-destruct." I suppose the change Watts made was the self-destruct order? Ironwood obviously wants the vault open, though not necessarily Penny's death. Think what you will of his moral compass, she's a damn powerful ally — a research project, perhaps — and a Maiden to boot. At the very least, her death may give the powers to someone even worse.

God, please don't let them have brought Penny back and made her a Maiden just to kill her again.

The Hound arrives though and, as said, knocks Penny out. We're back to square one with her, then. Note though that this attack is near instantaneous. She grabs its hands one second, is hanging limply the next. Wow, the Hound sure is a terrifying antagonist!

Not for long.

"That's enough," Ruby says and one-shots it with her eyes.

Now, I want to talk for a moment about the implications of that line. "That's enough." Obviously Ruby is #done with this situation and emotionally unwilling to let the Hound kidnap Penny (congratulations, Nuts and Dolts shippers), but there's a meta reading here as well. Not intentional, but glaring to me nonetheless. Basically, the idea that the Hound has, from a plot perspective, done enough. It has served its singular purpose. It kidnapped Oscar and now it dies. Never-mind how insanely powerful we've established the Hound to be, never-mind how Ruby's eyes also work or don't work according to whether anything of actual import is on the line. From a plot perspective "that's enough" and the Hound can be disposed of instantly. It got Oscar and gave us an episode of filler creepiness. Move along now.

The idea behind Ruby's eyes isn't bad, but the execution absolutely is. RT has undermined a huge portion of the stakes by giving their protagonist an instant kill-shot that always works precisely when she needs it to. Starting with the Apathy, we have yet to get a moment where Ruby's eyes fail to save the day when she really needs them to, no matter how incredible the challenge. The Hound was very intentionally written to be a grimm outside of the group's current power level. It thinks, it talks, they literally can't touch it. This creates the expectation that the group will need to grow stronger — or at least become smarter — in order to surmount this new obstacle, yet Ruby's eyes undermine all of that. The group hasn't grown in years, the show just makes enemies weaker as needed (Ace Ops), or has Ruby pull out her eyes as a trump card. It wouldn't be that bad if we'd at least gotten a good battle out of it, one where the group gets close to defeating the Hound on their own, but needs Ruby's eyes to finish it off. Instead, she literally walks up without any aura, announces to the audience that this antagonist's time is up, and blasts it out a window.

Granted, Ruby's eyes don't completely finish it. The Hound pulls itself to its feet and we see this.

Yup, that's a guy and yup, those are silver eyes.

I would like to issue a formal apology to the "It's secretly Summer!" theorists in the fandom. I mean, I still think it would be ridiculous (and at this point highly improbable) that Ruby's dead mother has actually been a grimm mutant this whole time, just hanging out in Salem's realm while she waits for the plot to start before attacking the world, and then sends some no-name faunus dude after the group instead of their leader's mother for extra, emotional torture... but you all were definitely right about the “It's a person” part! I... don't know how I feel about this. Admittedly, it seems to be a logical continuation of the other grimm-human hybrids we've seen — namely Cinder and Salem herself — and it finally explains why Salem wants Ruby alive (even though it actually doesn't because WHY did she want more SEWs for Hound grimm when she wasn't even attacking back then? And already has all these other insanely powerful tools??), but at the same time, it feels like it's complicating a story that doesn't need further complications. The group fights monsters and has an immortal enemy. You don't need to add 'Some of those monsters are secretly human' to the mix.

It doesn't hurt that this twist is giving me Attack on Titan vibes, which, ew. A dark time in my fandom life, folks.

The Hound staggers a few steps before Whitley and Willow dump a suit of armor on it. That's all it takes to kill the most dangerous grimm we've ever seen: a single flash of silver eyes and some heavy metal. This also wreaks havoc with the implication that Salem wants SEWs alive because they create such powerful grimm. Obviously not. I mean yeah, normal huntsmen are going to have serious  problems, we’ve seen that this volume, but any other SEWs nearby will take a Hound out instantaneously. For a villain with so many other powerful abilities — immortality, magic, endless normal grimm, her nifty soup — Salem would be much better served just killing SEWs straight out. Clearly, creating Hounds isn't worth the effort.

The Hound leaves some bones behind and Ruby collapses to her knees, overcome with the knowledge that this was once a person. Again, uncomfortable Attack on Titan parallels.

We finish our premiere with Cinder clearing away rubble to reveal Watts. Honestly, I like that we ended on this because her rescue is hilarious. She just slings him over her shoulders like a sack of potatoes and blasts off with her magic fire feet. Fantastic.

Note though that with this scene we've seen almost everything from the clip and the trailer. What's to come in the rest of Volume 8? No idea. Outside of Winter leading the charge with the bomb, we got it all here.

Time to update the bingo board!

I'm crossing off "Introducing new grimm that are quickly abandoned." Between the Hound and acid-dude both falling to a single blast/cut from Ruby, we've more than earned this square.

It doesn't look as if we'll get another Watts-Jacques team-up now that he's left, but you never know.

Maria's got me worried. I feel like her Yoda fight against Neo is the one thing she'll be allowed to do this volume, but given that we didn't see anyone except Ruby's group this episode, we don't yet know whether the story is now ignoring her and Pietro, or if they'll re-appear in another episode like YJR.  

Qrow is free. Will he get a drink before trying to murder Ironwood? Perhaps.

Still no bingo :(

All in all, the episode was by no means horrible. I think there were lots of horrible parts, but also some legitimately well executed moments, fun action, and scenes that I can easily imagine as squee worthy if you lean back and squint. Everything is comparative and in the growing collection of bad RWBY episodes, this one isn't securing a top slot. Which doesn't mean I think it's good, just... not as bad as it could have been and primarily only bad due to long-running problems, not things this specific episode has done. That's my bar then, so low it has officially entered the underworld.

Still, RWBY is back and a part of me is eager to see where this volume takes us, for better or for worse.

Until next week! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

[prettywordsyouleft]

MonX Hospital | Jooheon

Pairing: Lee Jooheon x reader

Genre: paeditrician – hospital au / romance / friends with benefits to lovers au

Warnings: medical and challenging behaviour terms, and whilst they’re fwb it’s only talked about, there are no sex scenes.

Word count: 3994

Index: Shownu | Wonho | Minhyuk | Kihyun | Hyungwon | Jooheon | Changkyun

Tuning out the conversation at the front desk he had been listening to, Jooheon shifted his attention to the busy waiting room. A mother, looking rather frustrated, was standing beside a small child and holding out her hand. She visibly swallowed back her urgency and smiled. “Come on Maddox, the nurse is waiting for us.”

The young boy ignored her request, continuing to push a car on a table, hurtling it around with a bit more force.

“Maddox! Let’s go,” she tried again, reaching out for his hand, in which the boy immediately recoiled away from and screamed. His mother, trying not to catch the sympathetic looks from the other waiting parents, readjusted her bag upon her shoulder. “Come on now, the nurse just needs to see how big you’re getting! It’s not scary, I swear.”

Pushing away from the counter he had been resting upon, Jooheon entered the space, giving the mother a comforting smile before sitting down on the floor next to the child. Maddox glanced in his direction cautiously, now pushing the car around with less force. Jooheon grinned. “Woah, that’s some good driving you’re doing there! Can I join?”

The child didn’t verbally answer, but he did hand Jooheon a car. Starting up some revving noises, he then propelled it around the track the child had made out of various wooden blocks and toys from the container in the corner. Jooheon purposely knocked down a bridge and then gasped noisily.

The small boy giggled. “You caused an accident!”

“I really did, didn’t I. Was I going too fast?” Maddox nodded. “What do you recommend I do?”

“You’ll need to go see a doctor! Your driver is injured!”

“Oh no!” Jooheon exclaimed and several of the other kids in the waiting room edged closer. “Isn’t it a good thing I’m in a hospital right now?”

“Are you a doctor?” another child asked and Jooheon nodded guiltily.

“I am. I should have known better and gone slower, right?”

All the kids agreed with this.

“Maybe since we’re in a hospital, Maddox here could take me and my broken driver to see the nurse right now. He needs to get checked out.”

The little boy hesitated before nodding and holding out his hand. Jooheon hid his smile as best as he could, and the rest was wiped off his face when Maddox dragged him across the foyer and into the room he had been avoiding all this time. For a little guy, he sure was strong. His mother darted along with them, smiling appreciatively at Jooheon who Maddox insisted had to sit down with him.

“Nurse Tina, I drove too fast and now Maddox and I need to get checked out.”

“Well,” she said solemnly, looking at Maddox and nodding her head. “We best check you both out for any injuries, huh?! First, let’s take your temperature, shall we?”

“Thank you,” the mother said once Maddox’s basic stats were charted. “He gets a little overwhelmed in places like these.”

“It’s common so don’t feel it’s something you’re doing wrong. Kids don’t naturally like coming to the hospital,” Jooheon replied before crouching down to ruffle Maddox’s hair. “Thanks for looking out for me! Now you go down that hallway and let Doctor Y/N look out for your driver, okay?”

“You better heal well, Doctor…” Maddox leaned in to attempt to read his badge. Before he could tell him his name, Maddox looked at the honey pot clay pin attached to his lanyard and grinned. “Doctor Honey!”

“That’s me,” he chuckled. “I’m Doctor Honey.”

“Doctor Honey, huh?” you mentioned when Jooheon walked into the shared office space for junior consultants, shooting him a smirk. “I heard all about how reckless you drove from a little boy and three others today. I think I’m going to take the bus home tonight instead of catching a ride with you.”

“I guess I have my first nickname here,” Jooheon breathed dramatically before sitting down. “Here I was hoping for “Doctor McHottie. Guess being a paediatrician makes that one a bit of a stretch.”

“That and this isn’t Grey’s Anatomy,” you replied with another smile before throwing down your pen with a heavy sigh.

Jooheon peered over at your case notes and then scrunched up his nose. “Hard day?”

“I have one patient who I saw today in Doctor Clifford’s clinic hours and I’m at a loss of what to present to him in our meeting tomorrow morning.”

“Can I read your case notes more closely?” he asked and you slid the file over. Reaching for your tablet to look up the history of previous visits for the young girl, Jooheon sighed as well. “Poor thing has enough going on in her life, huh?”

“She’s retracting away from society at a rapid pace. When she did answer my questions, she was very angry in doing so. There’s a lot of tension pent up in her body and mind right now.”

“And the caregivers state the change came from puberty? Nothing else?”

“Her biological parents have recently left the scene for good, which initially eased some of her aggressive behaviour. However, the return of the new school year has put a lot of strain on the situation. Some of these symptoms do support her diagnosis on the ASD spectrum, but I’m also concerned we’re not doing enough. I’ve increased the dosages for two medications she’s taking and given the caregiver some advice on how to address the lack of school attendance from a professional’s perspective but she didn’t seem all that relieved it would do much to help things at home and I can’t stop thinking about their situation. She’s such a sweet kid but she’s not getting the right assistance to help her overcome this.”

“And her diagnosis of Autism is much newer than most of these other labels that some of the services out there to support kiddos like her would have given them a stand-down period of six weeks before even adding them to the waiting list so who knows when they will get seen by them to continue support at home,” Jooheon added on, tapping a finger on his chin trying to find a solution.

The past year that he had worked as a junior consultant in the Paediatrics department had definitely come with some highs. Working with children and helping them overcome obstacles both physically and mentally to reach closer to their potential was always rewarding. But more often than not, he felt restricted by the amount of help he could give to kids like this one. A meeting during one of these clinics was only a moment in time for that family. The parents and caregivers of children exhibiting these challenging behaviours truly deserved all the respect in the world for what they must face day in and out.

Jooheon knew that your frustrations matched his own, wishing there was more you could do to support that family. He smiled determinedly at you over the table. “Let’s brainstorm what else you could suggest for her ongoing support and reach out to the agencies we know that might provide assistance to the family with her needs as well.”

“You know, you really suit that nickname of yours, Doctor Honey,” you replied with a watery smile, nodding as you reached to take the file back. “You sure are a sweetheart.”

“Sweet enough to have dinner with?” Jooheon shot back playfully and he grinned when you rolled your eyes right as he expected you to.

“I like things to be more sour than just sweet.”

“Chinese it is,” he announced and you laughed whilst shaking your head.

“Sometimes, I wonder how to get through to you that only being your friend and colleague is where it belongs for us.”

“Friends can have dinner together.”

“I remember our last dinner,” you stated with a hushed tone as Jooheon’s smile grew again. “Don’t smile!”

“I remember it too. It was really delicious.”

“I don’t recall signing up for dessert afterwards,” you continued, trying to sound unaffected as you scrolled through your tablet.

“I don’t recall you saying no to it either,” he pointed out, trying not to smile too much at your reproachful look. “We can enjoy the perks of being consenting adults when we want to, Y/N.”

“I swear you’ve watched way too many doctors TV shows.”

Jooheon smirked. “Never seen one, actually. You’re just trying to pass it off for whatever happens in those dramas so you don’t have to admit that being friends with me is fun.”

“It’s trouble. Honey gets sticky and is hard to remove.”

“You don’t have to remove it,” he offered. Glancing over at you earnestly, he hoped you would notice that whilst having bouts of pleasure with you over the past year had been well reciprocated, Jooheon hoped it could become more between you.

You deflated his approach quickly. “Sorry, I have plans for dinner. Maybe next time, Doctor Honey.”

“Did you ever follow up with that family with the puberty issue?” Jooheon asked a couple of weeks later when he crossed paths with you in the hallway leading to a seminar you were both attending.

You nodded, shooting him a smile. “Clifford was thrilled with the added suggestions I had for the case. Thanks for your help.”

“Hey, whatever gives these kids the best chance to thrive, huh?”

“I hope this seminar is worth it.”

Jooheon smirked. “Don’t snore too loudly this time round.”

“I did not!” Yanking on his arm as you looked around at the fellow health professionals entering the space, you then huffed indignantly. “I had worked two shifts back to back and ended up helping on an urgent case before the last one!”

“Sure,” he replied simply, his dimples deepening as he threw you another playful smile. “If that’s what helps you cover up-”

“Are you fishing for a thank you since you made sure no one found me sleeping through the last one?!” you enquired as you both stepped into the large boardroom, aiming for the seats concealed in the back row. Once seated, you gave Jooheon a pointed look. “I won’t fall asleep.”

“What will you do this time if you do?”

“I’m not going to!”

“I’m going to hold it over your head if you do. I know! Dinner tonight if you fall asleep.”

“I hope you enjoy eating alone, Lee Jooheon.”

Hours later, you grumbled as you took a seat adjacent from Jooheon in a sushi bar, pointing your index finger at him warningly. “Don’t!”

“Sure looks like I have the best company for eating alone tonight, Y/N.”

“We’re only eating,” you announced firmly, before reaching out for a plate from the conveyor belt that ran along the inner edge of the table. You then let out another groan. “If only her voice hadn’t been so dreary!”

“Face it, unless you’re being stimulated, you fall asleep too easily. I don’t know how you even got through med school.”

“Lots of coffee and determination.”

“Guess now that you have the job it’s easy to slacken off huh?”

“Jooheon!”

He grinned. “Don’t worry. I took enough notes for the pair of us.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you told him and gestured to the food. “It’s on me tonight.”

The conversation flowed easily over a range of topics during dinner, as it usually did. Jooheon hadn’t met someone who he could tease in one moment and then discuss serious topics in the next until you, and it always made him yearn for more of your attention. However, when you reached for your second shot glass of sake, Jooheon took it from you and downed it instead.

“Hey! That was mine.”

“You’re a lightweight. Don’t drink anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ll end up wanting dessert if you do,” he told you bluntly, and you stared at him, cheeks flushed.

“Who says I don’t already?”

“Are you feeling the effects of the alcohol so soon?”

Leaning over and kissing him impulsively, Jooheon was stunned when you pulled away. You cocked your head to the side and took the shot glass back before pouring more of the rice wine. You knocked it back. “I can’t have you having dessert alone as well, huh?”

“Let’s pay the check then. It’s a work night and we don’t need to drink any more with early morning clinics tomorrow.”

“You’re right,” you agreed with a seductive trail of your finger down his chest. “I’m sure you’ll make me feel more than drunk on what you have in store for me tonight.”

“Doctor Honey!” the children exclaimed as he entered the hospital schoolroom, waving to all the attendees of the class. A couple of the physically-abled children hopped up from their seats and dashed over to hug him.

“How’s school today?”

“We’re colouring!” Ingrid told him and he gasped noisily, allowing the girl to take him over to her place at the table. She was colouring in a fairy with a pretty flower crown.

“Colouring!” he repeated, crouching down to look at Minseok’s alligator he was carefully remaining within the lines of. “You’re all future artists!”

“Will you colour with us?!”

“Me? Oh, I don’t know, I’m just a doctor.”

“You could draw a picture of Doctor Y/N!” Jake suggested and Jooheon lost his balance, falling to the floor with an embarrassing thud.

The children all giggled.

Recovering, Jooheon narrowed his gaze on Jake. “Why would I draw her?”

“Because last time she came to visit our class, she drew you!” Melissa told him as she pointed to the wall where a picture of a honey pot and spoon had been hung up.

Jooheon laughed. “That’s a honey pot.”

“It’s you! She told us so.”

“Really?” he asked, looking at the picture again. He grinned. “Did she tell you why she chose to draw that?”

“We asked her to draw her favourite thing.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” he breathed out quietly, thinking back to your indifferent behaviour this morning when you woke up at his place.

Coming back to the present, Jooheon smiled weakly. “I wish I could colour with you all but I’m actually here for Luna.”

Luna lowered her head and shook it adamantly. “I don’t want to go!”

“Doctor Honey will be with you, don’t be scared, Luna,” the teacher, Mrs Potts, gently encouraged and the other children moved to hug her and tell her it would be okay.

Once Luna was free from her friends, Jooheon held out his hand for her. “I’ve even got the coolest orderly on his way to help you travel to your therapy session in style.”

“You’ll still come too, right?”

“Of course!” he assured, her sweaty palm gripping onto his more tightly.

As he walked Luna back to her wardroom, she kept looking up at Jooheon inconspicuously, and he smiled after catching her once more in the reflection of the window they passed by. “What is it, Luna?”

“Is Doctor Y/N your girlfriend?”

Jooheon shook his head sadly in answer. “She just wants to be my special friend.”

“I had a boyfriend once,” she whispered when back in her room and Jooheon leaned down to help her up onto her bed. He then gasped and Luna giggled behind her hand.

“You’re too young for a boyfriend!”

“And you’re too old! Shouldn’t you be married by now?!”

“I’m not old at all!”

“Then I’m not young!” she refuted and Jooheon gave her a fist pump in a truce. Her humour eased. “I wish I had kept him as my special friend though.”

“Why?”

“When he left the hospital after getting better, he never contacted me again. If I hadn’t of given him my heart, it wouldn’t have hurt so much.” Blinking at the vulnerable truth the twelve year old had spoken of, Jooheon sighed. She was too young for such a painful experience on top of her health condition.

Luna took Jooheon’s hand and squeezed it again. “Maybe Doctor Y/N doesn’t want you to ever leave her so she chooses to keep you as her special friend instead.”

Before he could respond, Minhyuk, the cheerful orderly, arrived and took away his chance. Jooheon smiled at Luna thoughtfully.

It was amazing how insightful kids could be.

“It feels like it’s been forever since I worked in the same place as you,” you mentioned when you entered the office space the following week and Jooheon grinned.

“It’s only been two days. Are you not getting enough done in your shifts to feel like time is dragging or something?”

“You’re not funny.” Sitting down heavily, you placed your hands up under your chin to rest your head upon them. “It’s just weird.”

“Weird how?”

“Even when we’re busy, you always seem to appear during my day.”

Jooheon swallowed slowly. “I guess friends are not always visible when busy.”

“You are though,” you persisted, narrowing your gaze on his face. “Are you okay?”

“Sure.”

“Really?” Peering at Jooheon more closely, he diverted his gaze from your scrutiny. “Are you hiding something from me?”

“What’s there to hide? We’re just friends, Y/N.”

“Hm,” you hummed, shaking your head. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m just being your friend.”

“Say the word friend one more time, I beg of you,” you said darkly, opening your file with a huff.

He chose to look at you then, chewing on his bottom lip.

Luna’s words had played around in his mind. Jooheon didn’t realise that his advances could have been felt as pressure to you, and whilst he knew being friends who slept together worked to some extent, he hadn’t realised it could mean something to you to not go any further.

And so he had decided to just be the friend you needed. Although, Jooheon wondered if he had taken the step back a little too far if you were aware of how little he was trying to bombard you each day. To be fair, he wasn’t very good at reeling back his own feelings or level of friendship to make you feel more comfortable.

After a few minutes of working in silence, you cleared your throat. “Are you busy tonight?”

“No.”

“Good, want to Netflix and Chill?” you suggested, not lifting your gaze from your tablet. Jooheon didn’t answer immediately and you flicked your eyes upwards. You then frowned, waving a hand in front of his face. “Earth to Doctor Honey, did you hear me?”

“Uh, maybe not tonight. I’m not feeling well.”

“Really? But that one time when you were ill and told me nothing could stop you from-”

“Guess I had more energy back then,” he lied, collecting up his things hastily. He was growing confused and it was bothering him.

You seemed bothered as well. “Where are you off to? We have two hours to write up our findings from our clinical hours today.”

“I need to go look up something in the library. I’ll catch you later.”

Jooheon slapped the side of his head a couple of times once he was out of the office, groaning with how awkward he was acting towards you.

He realised he couldn’t just be friends with you anymore.

Your working environment continued to grow tense until you found Jooheon in an empty wardroom, patting the bed in which Luna had once resided in.

For a moment, you comforted him. “It’s a good thing she’s going home. Why are you sitting here looking so lost?”

“I’ve grown attached to her.”

“She was a spunky little thing. Gave me lots of advice.”

Jooheon nodded softly. “Me too.”

“Did she give you the advice to avoid me?” you wondered and Jooheon glanced up at you in confusion. You shrugged, taking a seat on the bed beside him. “Or did she say something to make you back off from me?”

“No, well-”

“I knew it!” you exclaimed, standing back up and waving your hands around. “See, she told me that there was someone really special in my world and that I should see him as more than a friend and then you kept saying the words just friends over and over and I cannot believe you took the advice of a twelve year old so literally!”

“Hang on a moment,” he simply replied, narrowing his eyes on your face. “Regardless of age, some people say insightful things. I was just giving you the space you need since I have made it clear that I want to be more than just friends who sleep together. I want the whole deal with you but you always give excuses. So yeah, I listened to Luna and thought maybe you had a reason that you didn’t want to be more than friends with me over. I was being respectful of your needs.”

“Disappearing from my world is respectful?” you asked, shaking your head. “You made me lonely. I half wondered if I had offended you or you’d grown bored of me. I kept making advances at you that you’ve deflected. How is that being a friend?”

“Do you like me?”

“Of course I do.”

“I mean more than a friend,” he reiterated and you opened your mouth, only to close it again. Jooheon sighed. “See, this is where we differ. I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you and want to-”

“My last partner manipulated me,” you blurted out. Cringing, you started to pace the floor. “I gave him so much of myself that when I realised what he was doing to me, I vowed I wouldn’t date again. I wanted to hold full control over my feelings. I figured if all you and I did was eat and sleep together that I wouldn’t get too attached. I could have a good friend and have some fun with you too.”

You stopped pacing and looked at him. “But you’ve become more than a friend; even I have to admit it. I want to do more than what we have. I just don’t want to lose what we have either.”

“I’m not going to hurt you like that,” Jooheon answered, standing up and stepping closer to you. Reaching for your shoulders, he smiled gently. “I’m not like him.”

“I know, you’re so much better in all areas,” you breathed and Jooheon grinned. “That’s why I get scared. You’re too good of a human to mess things up with.”

“What if things only get better, not messed up?” he offered and you slipped your arms around his waist, placing your head against him. “What if we’re better at being more than just friends?”

“Is it worth risking what we have?” you murmured, lifting your head to look at him. After staring at one another for an intense moment, you nodded. “Of course it is.”

Jooheon kissed you then, softly. It felt like it had been so long since he had last caressed your lips properly. You pressed into him firmly, deepening the embrace.

And then jumped apart when you both heard fevered giggling. “It’s just like what my Mummy watches on TV! Doctors do kiss each other in secret!”

“Ew, are you both worried about catching cooties?!”

“Why would they be worried? They’re doctors! They can cure anything!”

“How about you guys head off and pretend you saw nothing and I’ll be down to the schoolroom with candy in twenty minutes,” Jooheon stated and with another set of giggles, they darted out, leaving you both laughing at being caught.

“They’re right though,” you mentioned, stretching up to peck his lips again. “We can cure anything.”

Jooheon grinned, resting his forehead on yours. “So how about dinner tonight?”

“With Doctor Honey?” you asked, pretending to think about it. “I don’t know, what’s on the menu?”

“Anything you fancy.”

“Even you?”

“I thought I was too sticky,” he teased, reminding you of a past conversation.

Trailing your index finger up until you flicked his chin gently; you gave him a smirk. “Maybe I don’t mind if I can’t get you off of me now.”

_________________

Next: Changkyun

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[daydreamindollie]

m.yg | The Innocent and The Sinful

Fragments Series: Just another incomplete written piece/plan/idea - not edited, not proofread, just raw writing w/ my notes 

|| opposites attract oneshot series ||

A/N: Yoongi’s one, I actually dusted up quite a bit so there aren’t any notes, just pure writing. I was ready to write an extended, very steamy scene in this but I guess that intimidated me and made me mentally shut down when writing this knowing that I had planned such a scene for the future of this oneshot. Don’t get me wrong, I was really excited to be writing smut for the first time...but, I also get nervous really easily and I’m a perfectionist+procrastinator - not a good combination! 

WARNING: May contain some conflict and violence nothing 

✚          ✚          ✚

The probability that two drastically opposing worlds should collide was highly unlikely, even more so the fact that they should harmonise under aesthetic melodies, and yet, despite this common perspective, it seems as though the path of two repelling ways of life magnetise along their way, and consequently, cross directions.

Such an innocuous stammer within one's path appears as irrelevant as the frequent act of unnamed strangers brushing shoulders, but an interaction must never be underestimated as the world's way of making an individual's tilted stage right again, can be a very peculiar thing.

☆

A night out with the usual gaggle of friends was well underway, falling upon its second hour the instant the clock ticked past eleven thirty (evening).

It was clear from the many blokes, who flashed ill grins upon catching the glint of uncertainty in your eyes, that this was an unfamiliar atmosphere for you, and suddenly, your friends' offer for free food and subsequent peaceful nights-in, no longer seemed worth-it as the sweat of discomfort tickled your brow.

"You look very tense there sweetpea!" Jia, the usual 'mother' of the group and your roommate, shouted from beside you, barely succeeding in overcoming the suffocating blare of music, "Have a drink and lighten up!" she encouraged, being strangely negligent to the obvious consequence of alcohol, especially in your circumstance. Not only were you a lightweight but everybody else within your group was drunk beyond the line of no return and someone needed to be responsible. 

It wasn't going to be Jia, definitely not - leaving only you.

"No thank you Unnie, I think I'll just go out for some fresh air." hefting a heavy sigh, you flashed a reassuring smile before making your way out. A clearing of the mind requires a cleaning of the air.

☆

"You're telling me," Yoongi stressed, an influential figure despite his diminutive build, "that nothing can be done to solve this." his voice hard and his eyes cold, a visible shiver rattled the spine of his unfortunate man of business.

"I'm sorry b-" the man attempted, only to be talked over by a booming voice.

"'Sorry' isn't going to fix things you little bastard, now, if you don't want my men coming after you, and the people you care about, then you better shut that bullshit-talking mouth of yours and get things done because I don’t pay you to hear crap fall out your asscrack of a mouth - got it?" the fire in his eyes was raging and untamed, hoping to rampage and set ablaze all that dared confront it - the poor man before him being the first victim, with licking flames already setting his toe-curled feet ablaze.

"Y-Yes S-“

"Now get the fuck out of my sight." once the stammering man had finally left, pudgy face sweating bullets of liquid fat and spindly thin hair clumping at his expansive forehead, Yoongi turned to his men. There was evident stress knotting his usually undisturbed brows. "I'm going for a smoke. I'll be back in thirty minutes.”

☆

Hissing at the bite of your stiletto heels, you attempt to savour the crisp night air without grimacing at the filth surrounding you, only able to fully disregard it by tilting your head towards the star-dusted night sky. Slowly, your mind began to clear and a small smile pinched your flustered cheeks, bad experiences truly brought out the good in all the little things - much like the majestic beauty of the night.

So spellbound by the charm of the late evening, you were innocent to the approaching danger, coming at you in the form of an intoxicated, stout man, drenched in a scented smog of liquor. He had no real intention of anything ill and would've let you be if he hadn't drowned himself in the immoral fluid beforehand.

Now, all acts and thoughts were unfiltered and ethics were cleared off his table of prioritised considerations.

At the sight of your figure, hugged tightly by the dark fabric of your dress, an animalistic growl of unadulterated desire left his chapped lips and, noticing your impervious state, he strides forward carelessly.

Taking a chance on his luck, he smiled satisfactorily when he stumbled into your frail figure and smirked at the vulnerable squeal that left your delicate lips when his heavyset frame fell onto yours and forced you against the cold brick wall.

☆

Regardless of Yoongi's pronounced reliance on nicotine during times of distress, he never truly liked the act of smoking; he always grimaced in the seconds leading up to lighting the cancer stick before inhaling a breath.

Another thing that he absolutely detests, in spite of his criminal line of work, was the sight and racket of harassment, especially now, when his wick of tolerance had already been burned up to only a hair's breadth from the night's deficient chain of events. Using up the last of that wick, Yoongi could only stand for less than a minute before he stuffed the cigarette back in its packet and approached the inebriated attacker.

"Hey, asshat," he grumbled, waiting for the man to turn before landing a heavy blow to his jaw, knocking him out cold with the propelled force of his frustrations. It was definitely a good way of de-stressing and Yoongi would have taken up boxing if he wasn't so indolent with the burdens of his position. Hence why, when Yoongi knew the harasser was down for the count, at just one hit, he stepped away and finally lit his cigarette - he probably wouldn't finish it completely after such relief. 

He didn't care for the girl the man was molesting, he only wanted peace and quiet when having his smoke but probably secretly wanted to punch a man as well - any man - after such vexing news was delivered to him tonight. For that reason, he didn't pay you any mind and selfishly savoured the silence as he took a drag. 

This man was something unworldly to you. He had taken on a bozo twice his size and won with just a single hit, now, he was lighting a cigarette, going about his business as if what he had just done was nothing out of the ordinary. 

Stepping closer and scrutinising his anatomy within the moonlight revealed how truly exquisite he was. His lean, ample limbs were garbed in a fitted black suit, darker than night and appearing silky under the rough stare of yellow street lamps. 

Supple ivory skin stretched over the features you were able to see bare: his face, neck and hands. The milky expanse of his nape silently pleaded for the sinful mark of bruising kisses, unsatisfied with the ink of a spiralling tattoo that climbed three delicious inches up the side of his neck, leading your mind to darkly ponder where it starts under the collar of his shirt. The hand he had holding the cigarette had long fingers with bulging veins decorating its back, leaving a simply intricate ring to embellish one elegant finger. His mysterious eyes were half hooded by a shadow containing undisclosed secrets that you yearned to acquaint yourself with, loving how the breath of smoke he exhaled spiralled into distinctive art before disappearing. 

Building up the courage, you stepped further forward, "u-umm..." you timidly began, “Thank-"

"Go home." he blatantly hissed, not sparing you a glance and, instead, took the time for another puff. Your morals weren't as such, however, because you needed to thank someone whose actions were worth appreciating, but as you stuttered to protest, he brushed you off once more.

"C-can I at least buy you lunch?-“

"Look, I didn't do it to help you, I just wanted some peace and quiet. Now, if you have half the brain that I think you do, then you'll take this chance to get the fuck out of here.”

Naturally, you were hesitant but complied with his harsh command. You didn't think any less of him because of his confession; it doesn't change the fact that he saved you from a traumatising experience, so he still deserved your proper gratitude. He wasn't willing to accept it and it's his decision whether or not he does, yes, but you were determined to repay him.  

☆

It was unusual for you to frequent a bar, even more so if the bar was the one where you were physically assaulted at. Your behaviour was very suspicious and your friends were quick to catch on, confronting you the night you're about to leave your shared apartment once more. You always left at the same night, at the same time with the same intentions in mind - you just need to see him again. 

"I'll be leaving now," you announce, slipping into your heels as your reflection stares back at you with satisfaction. 

"Babes, you've told us what happened to you that night, right?" your roommate confirms as she stood beside the door, causing you to raise a brow as you gave a reassuring nod. "Everything?" she pressed as you gave another nod, “Then…why do I feel like you're leaving one very crucial detail out?" her eyes are piercing you judiciously as you struggle to maintain a calm demeanour.

"Jia, I've told you everything," you promise a white lie. 

"Oh really?" the stare she sends you is chilling, "Because, it doesn't really make much sense if the first time a girl goes out in forever, gets harassed and suddenly makes it routine to visit said bar on the same night, at the same time, weekly!" avoiding her eyes, you attempt to cover your endeavours, "Well?...Did this guy threaten you or something? (Y/N), you know that I'm here for you." the hard front she puts forth slowly wore down with concern until only watery agony was present in her eyes.

"I-It's not like that Jia.”

"Then please tell me, Sweetie. You know how I hate being kept in the dark about these things." clearly, the stress was getting to her and you felt extremely guilty for causing such strain on her everyday deliberations; she already had many other things to reflect on, she didn't need you forcing more stress atop that. You remember how you told her your altered story of the night - one where there was now a mysterious, cold-hearted stranger saving you - and she was close to tears, apologising for not being a good enough friend, proven in her failed act of saving you. "I''m not here to judge you...I'm just concerned. Please tell me so that I'm self-assured that you'll be fine…and that I don't need to stalk you just to make sure you're safe." it was a joke that you embraced with a half-hearted laugh, encouraging you to tip the scale in favour of her apprehension. 

"Alright...I'll tell you," and that, you did. As promised, she didn't judge you but put forward her own advice, the lines of stress no longer creasing the space between her expressive brows. 

"Is he so handsome that you have to go so badly?" she jests, her enquiry still half-serious. 

"Very!" you giggle. Staring up at the clock on the wall, you gasp, already half an hour late.

"Sorry for keeping you but I'm thankful that you've finally told me." 

With a hug and a quick farewell for the night, you were off, taking care not to fall in your adequate stiletto heels. 

☆

It was the same scenario. This had become so routine that you were running through the upcoming events of the first few minutes into the club in your head. Everything flowed like clock work, which would be - to a normal person only wanting the norm - perfectly fine but you didn’t crave the norm, you were craving, yearning, and pleading to a non-existent god that he be there tonight. And yet, what should you do if he did show? In his mysterious, slender frame, enveloped in it’s cloud of mysterious musk that you were only barely able to savour briefly in your even more brief encounter. That night seemed to occur eons ago and it was eating you up inside. 

please remember that this is, unfortunately, not going to be continued as it is a part of my ‘Fragments’ Series, where I just post works that I have discontinued, maybe still in its drafting/notes-infused stage. I know it might seem like a pointless series but I’m proud of all my works and love to share more than I should.

[idly-makes-stories]

Long Rant About Malkav

Tl:Dr I had what I thought was a fun theory about Vampire: the Masquerade and Clan Malkavian and went way off the rails. Long story short I think Malkav's mortal soul is trapped inside his Vampire body and that's the cause of Malkavian insanity.

So I've been reading the new 5th edition V:tM book and I was looking through the clans and the Malkavian entry jogged my memory about something I read in a Mage: the Ascension source book (Book of Shadows I think). The book briefly describes the feeling of a Mage being embraced as a Vampire and the feeling of the Mage's Avatar (basically the soul) being seperated from the mage themselves. It seems to me that this would imply a few things about the anatomy of the soul in the World of Darkness but to keep myself from going on too much of a tangent I'll simplify my thoughts by saying that in order for a Vampire to be embraced, something fundemental within the soul must be lost/altered.

Now back to the Malkavians or more specifically, Malkav himself. Also back a few thousand years; about ten thousand if I remember correctly. Our tale begins with Malkav getting into antics before all of his fellows of the third generation start to hate each other and before Caine dissapeared. You see, Malkav was/is an intelligent and curious mind who liked to know things. And he wanted the answer to a question that only Caine could answer. Essntially that question boiled down to "why did you kill your brother and turn away from God". Caine's response to Malkav was to curse him with insanity.

This extended to the entirety of his childer and descendants. The entirety of Malkav's lineage was cursed with all manner of mental illness, delusions, paranoia, depression, etc. to the point that every member of the clan became mentally connected. Enter the Malkavian Madness Network. Now, heredity in Vampire is weird, superpowers, spells, and maladies pass down like hair and eye color but things do sometimes change drastically without (much) need for adaptation. But the Madness Network is a curse, which is generally believed to be an extension of Malkav's own insanity. But it can't be a curse related to the supernatural construction of the Malkavians themselves because it can be (and has been) altered and changed on a clanwide scale. That includes selectively choosing which Malkavians can or can't connect through the Madness Network, which simply doesn't make sense within the precedent of bloodline curses as established by the rest of the clans.

So what's going on here exactly? I can't say for sure but we know a few things that we can say about the nature of Malkavian insanity and Vampires in general:

1. Malkavians do naturally become insane in various ways after embrace.

2. Malkavians embraced after the Camarilla Malkavians lost access to Dementation and the Madness Network (another thing that happened) also went insane.

3. Pieces of the soul do in fact separate from each other upon embrace

4. The Malkavian Madness Network is capable of being changed on various scopes and scales.

5. Vampires have been known to affect, manipulate, and feed upon souls. This topic could be explained in entire tomes but I've run out of yarn for my wall so for the moment I'd appreciate if you would take my word that yes, some Vampires can do that.

So at long last, here's my theory. Malkav asks his questions to Caine, and Caine is not happy. So he sets out to curse him in a way that would make him suffer a fate worse than any Anteduluvian. Caine cursed Absimilliard and his childer to live as horrors for eternity as a learning lesson about humility because he was bored. But this was personal; so he calls upon his unspeakable vampiric powers, ancient, terrible, and reaches for a soul that had seperated from it's body long ago. A human soul, the soul of Malkav. He drags the soul back into the body it once inhabited, but the vessel is different, it's been irreparably altered. It is no longer capable of human perspective; the space it once occupied has been replaced by The Beast. It is scared and tries to break free but Caine is too powerful and he binds it there. The soul goes mad, tormented by the overpowering instinct of The Beast and horrified by it's condition it reaches out in the only way it can. It reaches those who hold the echo of the blood that flows through the body that was once Malkav and in a great fit of desperation pulls them down with it into madness. And it claws and it claws, always trying to work it's way free, looking for answers, keys, information, powers, a way out. It's sentient captor recreates itself within other bodies, and as they come alive it uses them directs them orders them but it confuses itself it's too much

information perspective war pain searching reflection help nightmare knowledge sabatoge cold wind hot sand help conspiracy blood field hunger help

The vessels war with each other, great battles are waged and many die they continue to die please stop. They hunger and feed; the soul of Malkav has lost control, and IHe can't stop the process he's begun. The wheels are turning and Malkav looks in horror to see what he's done. Chained to his own corpse, a human soul looks upon his work, in his desperation for freedom he has unleashed a blight on the world and it was all his doing. His pride, his fall, his pull on others, a sober and lucid view of the results of his attempts to climb back. And Malkav remembers the moon and the stars. He remembers looking Caine in the eyes and damning them all and it was all his fault. He can never change it, but he will try because it's all that the mad old soul has left.

[blurkeisaname]

hmm...drawing tips...i ain’t a good teacher,i’m pretty much self taught over 4 years. from what i’ve observed,your drawings all have the same kinda...yknow,poses? they all face toward the camera. perhaps experiment and learn different perspectives,study how the human body works and once ya have a solid grasp on that change it up to fit your style,i guess. basically - observe how things move,i suppose. i learnt how to draw through copying,and i can say it might’ve triggered a perfectionist in me.

Hmm... I appreciate your input. I do. I’m slightly disheartened, however. Don’t get me wrong I mostly understand what you’re saying. An understanding of anatomy would help with certain poses. And I have been feeling like my drawings have been awfully static and stiff. Mostly straight angles and tooled circles. I’ve been trying to mess with the arms, try to put more of a curve, y’know, make it more real-ish. And I’ll be honest the idea of perspective drawings terrify me, along with dynamic poses. I sorta figured it’d be a more gradual thing, y’know? You draw enough of one thing until you nail it, then you hit the next thing. That’s a naive viewpoint. My bin (both physical and digital) were littered with failed perspective shots. The best attempt I ever did, was a perfectly Sideways shot of someone pointing straight ahead. They looked like a signpost with half a face. I am rambling.

You’re right though. I do need to actually experiment. For the Dino-sour one, I’ll do my darn-dest to do a sideways semi-dynamic pose. 

By the way, Congratulations. You are the first person to send something. Also the first Anon. Feel free to stick that on a shelf somewhere. And thank you once more for the suggestion. I’ll TRY to take it to heart.

[youreghanamissme]

The Last Post

This is the last post I’ll be submitting to this blog. I miiight be compelled to post all those informational entries about Ghana I always thought up, i.e. transportation, the local cuisine, top asked questions about being in the Peace Corps/ Ghana (aka “what was dating like?” and “how do you stay healthy?” hoooo-yeeee haha), social/cultural tidbits, etc. but I might be too lazy. If I do post up anything non-Ghana/ Peace Corps related, it would be on my personal blog. Go ahead and message me if you want the link to that since it’s just about me and not about this experience. 

The much-hated question: “So how was Ghana?” 

What I want to say: I don’t reeeally want to unpack this right now over dinner, Sheila. We haven’t seen each other in over two years, and I really can’t do the whole peace-corps-service-in-Ghana thing justice in 30 seconds. I really just want to eat this plate of Thai food I haven’t had since 2016 and not listen to myself talk.

What I actually say: It was good. I enjoyed it a lot. There were times that were really tough, but I regret nothing, except maybe sometimes willingly taking a chance on cold food.

Or, conversely...

In one word? Umm... hot.

Being back has been quite a whirlwind. Internet. ALL. THE. TIMEEE!! Driving! A refrigerator :D I now have a smartphone in America, something that was not a thing for me before I left for Peace Corps (brick phones, RIP), and I. LOVE. IT. Perhaps a little too much. Those apps really got me, man, because I am completely addicted to podcasts. And I’m always collecting new ones and asking for suggestions, so if you got any... holla at yer girl ;)

Basically me, all the time, sans velvet blazer. I need to get me one of those.

I’ve gained quite a bit of weight too. I mean, I wasn’t slim... more “normal bod,” but I was exercising regularly and not eating processed food (as much). Lately, your girl has gotten thicc. Booty booty rockin’ it arounddd, rockin’ it arounddd... to the other side of the kitchen for some thirdsies, thanksss ma! My biggest guilty pleasure has been cereal and pizza. 

Costco pizza has been giving me life*, and y’all know I live near a plethora of fast food joints, right? Round Table Pizza, Domino’s, Pizza Hut, KFC, McD’s, In-N-Out... America, you know how to trap a girl!! But right now it’s been YOLO, even when I have a hard time getting back into all those Ghanaian bespoke clothing I spent a lot of my monthly allowance on. That’s another two great things about being back: cool enough to wear sweatpants, and socially acceptable if I wear shorts (I wore some in public the other day and I felt a lil’ nekkid ;)

*fyi: pineapple belongs on pizza

I was travelling for a bit, and now that I’ve been back to America, I’m off for a month again! This time to Vietnam with my mum and my older sister. We haven’t been back to my mother’s country in over two decades; I was four years old the last time I’d gone, and that was because of a family emergency. Why the long wait? I’ll tell you why: it ain’t cheap to fly there! Plus, I’ve been hustling ever since I graduated from college, so it was no contest: savings, bills, rent money > Vietnam vaca.

Luckily, my sister paid for my ticket (bless!). The original plan was to go to Vietnam and explore southeast Asia after the Peace Corps, but since my sister is a teacher, I’d have to schedule my Close of Service date to coincide with her Spring Break. I wasn’t able to because PC Ghana staggers COS dates so that communities don’t experience a mass exodus once a year. They experience mini-sayonara’s thrice a year lol. There can be a lot of drama when your cohort is figuring out who gets what date; it really depends on the people. Most of everyone wants to leave as soon as possible to catch graduations, see family, or just get. the. hell. out. of. there. Waiting until my sister’s summer vaca meant that we had more time to be in Vietnam, a country that we mostly have to seek information about for ourselves as American children of Viet refugees, and I appreciate that our mum is making the journey with us. The trip will be our first time exploring the whole country. No one has been north of the southern region. I’m thrilled to see my mother’s village, my father’s hometown, and also explore the mountains where my father was held at a concentration camp for almost seven years after the war. Vietnam has gone through so much industrialization and cultural change in the last few decades; I’m sure we’re all bundles of apprehension, wonder, and excitement! Once I get back, I need to hit the ground running; no more travel for me for a while!

At the moment, I’m set up to re-attend school. I’m going back to finish up some pre-requisites for nursing school (that’ll take me a year as the anatomy & physiology portion is a 3-part series offered once a quarter--eww--and nursing programs typically last 2-3 years,so I’m looking at the next 3-5 years until I finish #lesigh) to get a second Bachelor’s degree. I know, I know. A second BS? Damn, gurl. You coulda saved yourself some moolah by getting it right the first time! But I don’t regret anything. I love nutrition, and studying it was a big source of joy. I’m rather scared as a twenty-something who likes to create, be in nature, and help people... I know there is an intersection there somewhere, but I’m having a hard time finding it. I’m pulled in three separate directions: pursuing nursing, pursuing environmental science (a passion that has been steadily growing since college), and forgetting academia for now and just working on a farm with nutrition and youth and nature... it’s all very romanticized and a total quarter life crisis. I’m wondering if nursing would open some doors for me to work with women and international settings (other huge passions of mine), perhaps in midwifery (to tie in the nutrition component), and in rural areas (to be more in settings that are more nature, less city... though I love the city and am I city grrrl at heart). The creative side will just be brushed onto my spare time, like it has been for the last decade lolol (but really doe...) 

I’m in a transition mode right now, and “trusting the process” is hard when the process is scary af! But at the end of the day, I acknowledge it’s scary and daunting only because I’m reveling in my own fears of failure and self-doubt. Still, that doesn’t make it any less scary and confusing :(

I implore y’all to go forth and pursue what makes you smile. It’s hard to navigate that in this society and culture where we’re all so immersed in the sense of time and money and the pursuit of happiness. Hell, I’m hella guilty of that. Yoo-hoo, nursing? Financial stability but also rewarding profession. I’m worried about making the leap to go back to school as I’m not a spring chicken no more! I’m still young (Asians don’t raisin, holla!), but Peace Corps Ghana definitelyyy took at least two years off my total life expectancy haha Still gotta reiterate: no regrets there. I’m older and a lil’ wiser and a lot more grateful for my time on Earth and the space that I occupy. I’m taking this sharper perspective to do good on some of the things I talked about in previous posts:

I signed up for a novice swimming class (your girl is about to learn some life skillz!)

Attempting to live more minimally (donating a lot of my clothes)

Reaching out to old friends to reconnect; fostering friendships

Be more kind to my other Mother. Continually attempting to start a compost pile in the backyard, and I bought a pack of stainless steel straws as a first step

So that’s it for now. HMU if you’re ever in NorCal in the next few years and/or you want to continue creepin’ on me as I try to navigate this post-Peace Corps life on another blog hehe (there is a certain source of vanity and joy from taking about myself, whatever forever~)

[catalinacimpoesu]

Style hunting

Free the Monsterind

In my constant struggle of finding a unique drawing style, I faced many creative blockages that were crucial to my overall development. 

The whole experience was like a rollercoaster of emotions: encouraging myself to draw, choosing a subject, letting my mind free and start sketching, adding colours, trying not to be picky on brushes and experiment different types and different textures without following any patterns, having that boost of energy and enjoying the moment while listening to music, feeling the dopamine rush, being excited when I considered the drawing looked good enough and any other changes would decrease its quality, then opening my social media account, returning to the drawing application and see the monster staring at me (Janda, 2013). 

A long-phrase that sums up my past two years. 

Is the “monster” that follows many artists worldwide. But it is the same “monster” or we all have different ones? At this moment my mind would turn to 180 degrees and see the final form of my drawing as being “ugly” and immediately my reaction would be to close everything and do not show my creation to the online world.

I found myself wondering how the monster would look like and this was the image that popped into my mind the minute after, so I started sketching again. Not a ferocious beast, but a snob fluffy mauve creature being too spoiled to remain grateful for what he has. 

Mind monster (Cimpoesu, 2020)

Starting to ask myself what is happening in my mind whenever I finish a drawing, was a promiscuous start. Why was I so concerned about what the others might think about my work? And why all of a sudden I would just have transposed myself into somebody else’s body and start judging my art, forgetting all the feelings I have had when I was creating it? Was my art supposed to carry any hidden meanings to anyone that might have seen it?

Art is subjective and does not represent pure tangible knowledge. Moreover, its purpose is to suggest and be interpreted by anyone who sees it (Scrivener, 2002). Thinking twice, every piece of art can include a small amount of knowledge due to the power of imagination and analysis its creation process.

Scrivener’s vision was that art in any form cannot embody pure knowledge either in-the-making process nor in the final-created object. This statement is half true from my perspective, for one reason: art, in any shape, can pass intangible information through generations, only because people can imagine and empathise through their bodies and souls, without experiencing the same times as the person who created it, but placing themselves in the other’s shoes, as humans made from the same material.

To be more clear, it is normal that paintings, for example, will not express anything at first sight; the viewer cannot gain any skills while staring at a canvas, but through analysing it he can feel at some point, all the overlapping layers full of acrylics and rough brush strokes that resemble shadows and highlights. In my opinion, it just depends on whom the viewer is: an artist will probably connect with the painting and imagine every step concluding the creation of it, while at a mental levet he could even transpose himself into the creator’s position.

As I started to see the presence of the “monster” more often, I started to draw more frequently just to try to catch momentum to analyse the feeling in depth. The answer was simple: my mind would categorize any of my creations as being low-qualitative in comparison with the others I have seen before from a variety of artists. Focusing on the flaws I automatically assumed that in the future there will be people in the same position as me (age, gender, being a self-taught artist) but with higher-quality final products.

The way art should be experienced is generally seen as being a short period of curiosity, sometimes it can progress on a long-term as well, until the reflection instinct approaches, as Danto et. al. (2013) suggest. Art should be a representation of the time and the environment it was created in. Another factor should be included in the equation, such as the experience the creator had and the time he spent on that specific piece of work. 

The right of criticising

Formal analysis represents the theoretical structure of the human perspective and it aims to categorise every element found into a pattern such as proportion, variety and unity, along with the emotional baggage a drawing is trying to express. Combining the intellectual effect with the feelings that are created just by looking at a piece of art can be considered the key to a high-rated critical analysis. This approach can be replaced with a pure intuition of someone who had experience and had seen plenty of evidence to have the right to classify any work (Heydat and Sabzali, 2014).

This made me think if art is such a versatile subject, it should not be fitted into some patterns conceived by somebody’s opinions and perspectives. At the same time if art does not follow these rules then anything can be considered a masterpiece. What a massive paradox.

Coming back to my twisted mind experience, I was starting to think what makes any of my drawings better than the others and why over time only a few of them still remain beautiful and worth to talk about in despite of others. As an interesting fact, the drawings illustrating objects won all of my sympathy, in comparison to the portraits and the artworks containing any kind of faces, on which I currently have doubts about their worth.

Restlesnesss (Cimpoesu, 2019)

Breakfast in Poznan (Cimpoesu, 2019)

Traditional house (Cimpoesu, 2019)

The way I perceived humans dramatically changed during time. Self-criticism help me to analyse the weaknesses of my artworks and what is representative for my vision. In addition, one reason for not recognise my digital drawings as being qualitative was the presence of errors in the proportions of the faces, along with the lack of accuracy of the shadows and highlights placed on the subject making the whole picture to have a flat look at the first glance. Improvement can be recorded in this area just by studying the basic human anatomy features and the basic principles of drawing. At the same time, art movement such as Expressionism and Surrealism are focusing on particular styles of representing the human features in an unfamiliar way and they are recognised as meaningful and interesting points of view. 

Modern French girl (Cimpoesu, 2020)

False posing (Cimpoesu, 2020)

Eye contact (Cimpoesu, 2019)

Examining the artworks now, after a long time, makes me notice the above photos look similar when exposing some aspects and are illustrating a constant style because of the used techniques, colours and tools. Despite of using a birds-eye view and underlying their similarities, the images are still exemplifying my creativity. 

Personal brand identity

Many artists point out that their style was shaped after many attempts of different ways to approach a subject and browsing through working instruments, tools and perspectives and in the end there is no defined path to follow to reach the goal in a specific period. The final form of an artwork is influenced by numerous decisions and environmental aspects (Zhao, Cao and Lau, 2018) aiming to reach the receiver’s feelings, along with his admiration and interest. 

The personality created trough all the final decisions and the presented outcomes represents a graphic designer’s way of expression, seeking to reach people who possess similar views. Although aesthetic taste is subjective and in constant change phases, a few elements are still keeping their place on the sensitivity map and help building a strong brand image when seeing an artwork for the first time. 

Building your own creative style as a designer, leads to a constant communication with yourself and the others around. In the end, only by experimenting different scenarios a graphic designer can mould his preferences and fully express his thoughts through art, without having second thoughts about showing the final version. Due to art’s ideology and skills’s perfectionism timeframe, there is always going to be room for reconsideration leading to improvement. 

Considering that for each artist there will always be people sharing the same vision as him, the action of finding the personal artistic style should be a metaphorical rollercoaster itself, which in the end will bring to light each stage and its significant meaning throughout the whole process. Understanding to embrace failure and to forgive myself when I don't have the desired outcomes, helped me more than it was expected.

Art, drawings and design taught me that you don't need perfection (Airey, 2012). It is fine to post something you do not like anymore and to appreciate that you did it. You have to embrace any state you have and be curious about any project you make because it is yours. 

In conclusion, you have to learn to work with what you own and cherish your goal for your mind to be able to create anything that appears in your mind.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Airey, D. (2012) Work for Money, Design for Love: Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Starting and Running a Successful Design Business, 1st edn, San francisco: New Riders

Cimpoesu, C. M.  (2019) Breakfast in Poznan. [Instagram] Available from: https://www.instagram.com/p/B5Laew2nahx/ [Accessed: 15th of November 2020]

Cimpoesu, C. M. (2019) Eye contact. [Instagram] Available from: https://www.instagram.com/p/B4uUYaBHinG/ [Accessed: 15th of November 2020]

Cimpoesu, C. M.(2020) False posing. [Instagram] Available from: https://www.instagram.com/p/B-iWyaHDHim/  [Accessed: 15th of November 2020]

Cimpoesu, C. M. (2020) Mind Monster. Unpublished personal artwork.

Cimpoesu, C. M. (2020) Modern french girl. [Instagram] Available from: https://www.instagram.com/p/B8MNRjwHcj-/ [Accessed: 15th of November 2020]

Cimpoesu, C. M. (2019) Restlessness [Instagram] Available from: https://www.instagram.com/p/BwxZJN_hbGf/ [Accessed: 15th of November 2020]

Cimpoesu, C. M. (2019) Traditional house. [Instagram] Available from: https://www.instagram.com/p/B5Laew2nahx/ [Accessed: 15th of November 2020]

Danto, A. C., Horowitz, G., Huhn, T. and Ostrow, S. (2013) The Wake of Art, Criticism, Philosophy, and the Ends of Taste. Amsterdam: Routledge

Heydat M. and Sabzali, M.K. (2014) Conceptualizing Art Criticism and Art Education for effective Practice. Saarbrucken: LAP Lambert Academic Publishing

Janda, M. (2013), Burn Your Portfolio: Stuff they don’t teach you in design school, but should, 1st edn, San Francisco: New Riders.

Scrivener, S. (2002) The art object does not embody a form of knowledge. Working Papers in Art and Design. [Online] vol. 2. Available from: http://www.herts.ac.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0008/12311/WPIAAD_vol2_scrivener.pdf [Accessed: 12th November 2020]

Zhao, N., Cao, Y. & Lau, R. (2018) "What characterizes personalities of graphic designs?" ACM transactions on graphics. [Online] vol. 37, no. 4, pp. 1-15. Available from: https://doi.org/10.1145/3197517.3201355 [Accessed: 15th of November 2020]

[vielmond]

Hello! I was wondering do you have any tips on improving environment or background drawing? I feel like I know how to go about studying to improve drawing figures, for instance looking at anatomy and proportions and how light hits a form however with backgrounds I feel like I don't know where to start, whenever I do a study I feel like I'm just copy it without retaining anything. ( I appreciate you may be too busy to answer this, if so thats ok, have a nice day! )

[pergunta sobre estudos e paisagens, tradução para Português no final]

I have many tips! Without more details I'll give you a broad answer. It might contain stuff you already know. I hope that's fine!

You can start by acknowledging that when you're comfortable enough with one subject (as characters), but not with others (as environments), the first, and second, and fifteen attempts at the new subject may look terrible. Yes, this situation sucks! You're experienced enough to realize those works aren't your best, but you lack subject familiarity and a personal approach to achieve the expected results. Hitting that invisible wall is highly frustrating. Acknowledge it’s not your fault, those unsatisfying paintings are not a proof of your failure as an artist or student, they're nothing but a by-product of learning process. You have no choice but weather those feelings if you wish to bring your entire skill set to a uniform level.

The good news is that you can tailor your approach to your current skill set: If you're used to paint characters you can treat your background as a character, as a group of characters! Treat that tree in a forest full of other trees as a character in its own right, complete with little details and quirks. Carefully depict the color changes happening on its weathered back, the greener base due the moss, how its silhouette gracefully twists, its branches interweaving with the next tree. Give it your undivided attention while you're working on it, don't treat it as just background noise.

Now that you have a strategy to deal with the components of the scene you need to think how you'll conduct your studies. Studies are essentially copies, therefore a successful study is an accurate copy of your subject, right?

I hereby commit the temerity of saying that's wrong.

Study: Application of the mind to the acquisition of knowledge, as by reading, investigation, or reflection;

You'll learn something when striving for perfect reproductions, but it won't be what you were hoping to learn. You'll train your muscle memory, your brushtrokes/gradient/line art accuracy, you'll improve your spatial location and maybe even perspective visualization. These all belong to the "mechanical" skill set of artists, not the "theoretical" skill set. Accurate lines will help your sketching, they'll make the piece aesthetic pleasant, but they won't enable you to create good backgrounds because you need to understand backgrounds in first place. Understanding takes place before you have the chance to use your perfect lines. But alas, every time you're just accurately copying stuff you're developing your mechanical skill set instead!

I'm very fond of using mechanical skill in this context. It describes perfectly what happens when you're pouring your entire being into creating a perfect reproduction: You stop asking questions. You stop trying to understand what's going on in the image because you allocated all of your energy to the technical side of the process; to the shapes, color gradients and positions. When you're busy playing the seven errors game you're not reflecting about the content of the image, you're reflecting about its 2D representation on paper.

Make of learning something new about the natural and architectonic world your new study end goal from now on.

I like to use this image because it's a real-world example of back when I hadn't the faintest clue of how approach environments.

They were 30-45 min paintings. My goal was to not do perfect copies but learn something, anything from each painting. For that I purposely used big brushes whenever possible, no color picker, and didn't care if it happened to look like unreadable crap in the end.

The first painting taught me that my perception of greens was fairly bad and shadows are important to give depth to unconventional POVs. I learned that snow can be so blue in the second painting. The third hinted at the saturation role in depth. The fourth confirmed my idea that shadows weren't just base color + black. You don't have to experience a revelation, you only need to learn a small thing at a time and spot patterns.

After this set of studies I painted an original environment applying what I observed. That way I assured myself I understood what I noticed and also trained my mechanical skills. That's my method for studies: Quick copies, an original, rinse and repeat.

The other thing that helped and still helps me is building a visual library. That's why I came to Tumblr! I have a secondary blog where I collect a lot of references for landscapes, clothing, cultures, everything and anything that catches my eye. That way I get better acclimated to the world diversity of... everything, and I have where to go to open my mind before starting a painting. I research before working on landscapes because I want to make sure they don't end looking all the same, and the natural world is so big and complex I can't possibly store all this information in my mind alone.

Wrapping up:

Treat your environment components as characters in their own right.

Develop a different study approach, better focused on your true end goal.

Expose yourself to the subject you're studying and research before starting.

Bonus:

If depth is giving you grief, allocate some extra time to study perspective.

If volume is getting into the way study basic shapes as well (spheres, cubes, soft concave, curved surfaces, etc).

If the environment feels too flat and plain or too "draw on" and unrealistic you might have issues with your level of details. Usually you'll add more details near the focal points and gracefully decrease it the farther you go. Think of LOD in games:

(Courtesy of Traction Wars)

P: Oi! Eu estava me perguntando se você tem alguma dica para melhorar meus desenhos de ambientes e fundos? Sinto que sei como estudar para melhorar minhas figuras, por exemplo olhar para anatomia e proporções e como a luz interage com uma forma porém com fundos não sei por onde começar, sempre que faço um estudo sinto que só estou copiando sem aprender nada. (eu entendo que você pode estar muito ocupada para responder, se for o caso sem problemas, tenha um bom dia!)

R: Tenho várias dicas! Sem ter mais detalhes te darei uma resposta geral, que pode conter coisas que você já sabe. Espero que não se importe com isso!

Você pode começar reconhecendo que quando está confortável com uma área (como personagens), mas não com outras (como paisagens), a primeira, e a segunda, e a quinta tentativas podem sair horríveis. É, essa situação é uma droga! Você é experiente o suficiente para saber que esses trabalhos não são os seus melhores, mas você não tem familiaridade e uma abordagem pessoal para atingir os resultados esperados. Se chocar com essa barreira invisível é bem frustrante. Reconheça que não é sua culpa, que esses resultados insatisfatórios não são prova da sua falta de habilidade como artista ou estudante, que eles não são nada além de subprodutos do processo de aprendizagem. Você não tem escolha senão lidar com esses sentimentos se você quiser elevar suas habilidades em diversas áreas para o mesmo patamar.

A boa notícia é que você pode ajustar sua abordagem de acordo com suas habilidades atuais: Se você está acostumado(a) a pintar personagens você pode tratar o fundo como um personagem, como um grupo de personagens! Trate essa árvore em uma floresta repleta de outras árvores como uma personagem, completa com pequenos detalhes e peculiaridades. Mostre a mudança de cores acontecendo em seu tronco desgastado, sua base mais verde devido ao musgo, como sua silhueta se torce graciosamente, como seus galhos se trançam aos galhos da próxima árvore. Dedique sua total atenção à ela enquanto trabalha nela, não a trate só como ruído de fundo.

Agora que você tem uma estratégia para lidar com os componentes da cena você precisa pensar em como estudará daqui em diante. Estudos são essencialmente cópias, portanto um bom estudo é uma cópia exata do original, não?

Cometerei a temeridade de dizer que isso está errado.

Estudo: Aplicação da mente para adquirir conhecimento, através de leitura, investigação ou reflexão;

Você aprenderá algo quando se dedicar à reproduções perfeitas, só não será aquilo que você estava tentando aprender. Você vai treinar sua memória automática, a precisão de suas pinceladas/gradientes/linhas, você melhorará sua noção espacial e talvez até pré-visualização de perspectiva. Todas essas coisas pertencem ao grupo "mecânico" de habilidades, não ao "teórico". Linhas te ajudarão a esboçar, elas deixarão o trabalho atraente, mas não são elas que te permitirão criar bons fundos pois você precisa entender fundos em primeiro lugar. A compreensão acontece antes que você tenha a chance de usar suas linhas perfeitas. Só que cada vez que você cria cópias perfeitas você está desenvolvendo suas habilidades mecânicas ao invés da compreensão!

Adoro usar a expressão habilidade mecânica nesse contexto. Ela descreve com perfeição o que acontece quando você se dedica completamente a criar a mais perfeita reprodução: Você para de pensar. Você para de tentar entender o que está acontecendo na imagem pois você alocou toda sua energia para o lado técnico da coisa; para as formas, gradientes e posições. Quando você está ocupado(a) jogando o hogo dos sete erros você não está mais refletindo sobre o conteúdo da imagem, você está pensando sobre a representação 2D dela no papel.

Faça de aprender algo novo sobre o mundo natural e arquitetônico o seu objetivo principal.

Gosto de usar essa imagem pois é um exemplo real da época na qual eu não fazia ideia de como abordar pintar ambientes.

São pinturas de 30-45min. Para aprender alguma coisa, qualquer coisa a cada pintura eu deliberadamente usei pincéis grandes sempre que possível, nada de color picker, e me forcei a não me importar se elas acabassem ficando uma porcaria ininteligível.

A primeira pintura me ensinou que tenho dificuldades em discernir verdes e que sombras são importantes para dar profundidade para pontos de vista não convencionais. Na segunda aprendi que neve pode ser surpreendentemente azul. A terceira me mostrou indícios do papel da saturação na profundidade da imagem. A quarta confirmou minha ideia de que sombras não são só cor base+preto. Você não precisa ter revelações incríveis, só aprender pedacinhos de informação e padrões.

Depois desses estudos pintei uma paisagem original aplicando o que observei. Dessa forma me certifiquei que entendi o que percebi e treinei minha técnica. Esse é até hoje meu método para estudos: Estudos rápidos, um original, repete.

Outra coisa que me ajudou e ainda ajuda é construir uma biblioteca visual. É por isso que parei no Tumblr! Tenho um blog secundário onde coleciono referências para paisagens, roupas, culturas, tudo e qualquer coisa que me chame a atenção. Dessa forma me acostumo melhor à diversidade global de... err, tudo, e tenho onde ir para abrir minha mente antes de começar a pintar. Também gosto de pesquisar antes de trabalhar em paisagens pois o mundo natural é tão grande e complexo que é humanamente impossível guardar toda essa informação na cabeça. É uma forma de evitar pintar acidentalmente sempre a mesma coisa.

Resumindo:

Trate os componentes dos seus ambientes como personagens.

Aborde estudos de uma forma diferente, focada no seu objetivo real.

Se esponha ao que está estudando e pesquise antes de começar.

Bonus:

Se profundidade está te dando dor de cabeça, guarde um pouco de energia para estudar perspeciva.

Se volumes estão te atrapalhando também estude as formas básicas (esferas, cubos, superfícies côncavas e convexas, etc)

Se o ambiente parece muito chapado e sem graça ou muito "desenhado" e artificial você pode estar tendo problemas com seus níveis de detalhe. Normalmente você detalhará mais as áreas perto dos pontos focais e reduzirá suavemente conforme se afasta. Pense em LOD (level of detail) de jogos:

(Cortesia de Traction Wars)

[newyorktheater]

part of a hand washing poster from the New York City Department of Health

As local news of the spread of the coronavirus grows more alarming (with Governor Cuomo having declared a state of emergency in New York over the weekend), the theater community has been responding seriously, but also theatrically.

Much of the theatrical response, official and otherwise, has to do with….cleaning. The Broadway League updated its statement on its website:

“….all productions continue to play as scheduled. We have significantly increased the frequency of cleaning and disinfecting in all public and backstage areas beyond the standard daily schedule, and we have added alcohol-based sanitizer dispensers for public use in the lobby of every theatre. We invite patrons to make use of soap, paper towels, and tissues available in all restrooms.”

As a preventive measure against disease in general, the Centers for Disease Control long has recommended washing your hands, and has suggested singing Happy Birthday twice, to make sure your hand washing lasts 20 seconds. The Charles R. Wood Theater in Glen Falls, N.Y. has a better idea:

A theatrical duo called Fossilheads modified a step-by-step World Health Organization illustration about hand washing with Lady Macbeth’s monologue about the same activity (albeit in a different context) to drive it home among theater fans:

This is the flyer posted in the lobby of every theater I’ve attended this past week, from Broadway to Off-Off Broadway, issued by the NYC Department of Health, which offers a useful coronavirus page. The poster was often not far from the newly ubiquitous hand sanitizer

“…I’m certain that theatre will survive whatever happens,” declares critic Lyn Gardner in The Stage of the UK> “Theatre has survived the plague in 1606…the uncertainties following both 9/11 and the 2008 financial crash and also several heightened alerts around terrorism.” Yes, theaters were shut down in 1606. “The closure of theatres in 1606 eventually ushered in a new era with the creation of the indoor playhouse. It is possible the Covid-19 virus may play a similar role in shaping the theatre of the future.”

How Theaters Can Prepare for Coronavirus: A TCG Webinar

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) — This page created by the Centers for Disease Control is the most reliable source of health information about the virus

  The Week in New York Theater Reviews

I Am Nobody

A man in a hazmat suit came on stage, to give us the usual spiel about the location of the exits and turning off our cell phones, and I thought: Ok, yes, the governor has declared a state of emergency in New York, but isn’t this carrying coronavirus precautions a bit too far? As it turns out, though, this box office manager making the announcements was being playful, wearing one of the costumes from ‘I Am Nobody,’ the latest quirky musical by Greg Kotis, who won two Tonys twenty years ago as the book writer and lyricist of “Urinetown,” the satirical musical about a future dystopian society in which citizens had to pay to pee. “I Am Nobody,” for which Kotis wrote the music as well as the words, takes place in a different dystopian society – our own, with its “supernatural contraptions” and social media and smart phones and the Internet.

Girl From The North Country

Girl from the North Country” is largely the same slow, sad, elliptical and occasionally exquisite theater piece I saw Off-Broadway. But my reaction to it has changed, for better and for worse. There are still a good number of tuneful melodies sung gloriously by an exceptional 17-member cast accompanied by fiddle and piano, and I appreciated new aspects of the show. But 150 minutes of dreary lives didn’t wear as well this time around.

Aaron Yoo

The Headlands

The first of the many surprises in “The Headlands,” the latest, cleverly crafted play in New York by trickster San Francisco playwright Christopher Chen, comes after Henry (Aaron Yoo) introduces himself to us as a Google engineer, a film noir buff, and an “amateur sleuth” who’s been looking into the unsolved murder of one George Wong, a kitchen contractor….”Oh, I’m [his] son.Sorry for not telling you earlier…”

Anatomy of a Suicide

It’s been a battering couple of weeks, what with abandonment, abduction, desperation, murder, genocide, and pandemic – all but the last one happening on New York stages…. “Anatomy of a Suicide,” is without question an exercise in virtuosity for both playwright Alice Birch and director Lileana Blain-Cruz, with a cast that deserves kudos. But it was a show that made me wonder whether I needed a break from theatergoing.

Bob Avian, Hal Prince and Michael Bennett watching a rehearsal in Boston of “Company”

Book: Dancing Man: A Broadway Choreographer’s Journey a fun and easy read that offers a light, slight overview of the six-decade career of an accomplished and well-connected theater artist…If much of “Dancing Man” is of the “And then we worked on this,” it can’t help but offer a large, sweet slice of theater history. At the age of 82, Avian, the NYC-born son of working class Armenian immigrants, is old enough to have seen the original production of “Oklahoma!” – his first musical on Broadway. He was eight years old at the time…and largely unimpressed:

The Week in New York Theater News

Digital lotteries and rush:

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf $39 tickets

Lehman Trilogy $40

Company: Standing room for $32

Mrs. Doubtfire: Digital rush tickets on TodayTix for $35.

Plaza Suite: Digital lottery on TodayTix for $39

  The 65th annual Drama Desk Award has a newly designed statuette. Nominations will be announced April 21, and the ceremony will be held on May 31 at Town Hall.

Michael Urie will reprise his role in Jonathan Tolins’ Buyer & Cellar for two performances at Rattlestick Playwrights Theater April 10–11

Qui Nguyen

MTC’s production of Qui Nguyen’s “Poor Yella Rednecks,” at City Center May 12 to June 28, will feature Samantha Quan and Paco Tolson, who both appeared in the MTC 2016 production of Nguyen’s “Vietgone,” in a cast that also includes Tim Chiou, Maureen Sebastian and Eugene Young. Told from a mother’s perspective, the play is the story of a young family’s attempt to put down roots in Arkansas, a place as different from Vietnam as it gets.

“Once Upon A One More Time,” the Broadway-aiming musical using the music of Britney Spears, will perform at Chicago’s James M. Nederlander Theater this spring with a cast that includes Justin Guarini as Prince Charming and Briga Heelan as Cinderella, along with Simon Callow as the narrator, Emily Skinner as the stepmother, and Aisha Jackson as Snow White.

Clubbed Thumbs Summerworks Festival at The Wild Project, May 15 – July 1

Spindle Shuttle Needle by Gab Reisman, directed by Tamilla Woodard May 15-27 In a cottage surrounded by endless siege, at the dawn of Modern Capitalism, a motley group of women tell tales, pick nits, and stretch out the last bits of sustenance til the Market reopens.

Bodies They Ritual, by Angele Hanks, directed by Knud Adams June 2-13

A Santa Fe sweat lodge lets loose what’s bottled up in a group of Texan ladies who have gathered for a birthday celebration. Will any of them taste that deep, deep spirituality only to be found in the American Southwest?

The Woman’s Party, by Rinne Groff, directed by Tara Ahmadinejad June 19-July 1

1947 is the year that the savvy politicos of the National Woman’s Party finally get the ERA passed— once they quash that insurgency. Or oust the old guard. Failure is Impossible.

Rest in Peace

Suddenly dancing The Madison in The Boys in the Band: Robin De Jesus, Michael Benjamin Washington, Andrew Rannells, Jim Parsons

Mart Crowley, 84, pioneering playwright of The Boys in the Band, which had a triumphant Broadway debut on its 50th anniversary in 2018.

Coronavirus Update: Responding Theatrically. #Stageworthy News of the Week. As local news of the spread of the coronavirus grows more alarming (with Governor Cuomo having declared a state of emergency in New York…

[nicolehughes1991]

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Ex Girlfriend Background Investigation

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How To Get A Ex Back That Has Moved On

[kennthmclblg]

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from Charles Forbis Linex of Pelham https://charlesforbislinexofpelham.wordpress.com/2018/01/31/what-the-in-crowd-wont-tell-you-about-essays-for-college/

[aileenstepp1-blog]

Effective ways to Create Affection To A Man! One of the most Essential Steps You Need to Know.

Partner courses mainly work through paying out compensations when a certain activity is actually had. However anyhow, they created me very super delighted, which made me wish to show as well as cease on all the various other traits that are actually making me satisfied at presents. Merely, if your close relatives and buddies were happy people, there is actually an outstanding chance that you will definitely be actually too. Mindfulness could aid you to be pleased along with just what you have by permitting you to truly appreciate just what you have. You are actually perhaps looking for concepts to memorialize this pleased affair in a big technique if so. You may do traits like perspective and download your papers and also create adjustments to your policy - as well as fortunately is, this suggests no admin charges! They may certainly not begin in this way, yet I've remained in some crazy ones where staff on various other schooners must have helicopters remove all of them for faulty bone tissues and other numerous traits. If you perform not feel like hanging out with your spouse, ensure that you have this capsule; that will certainly certainly not only increase sexual drive, however will definitely make certain that you enjoy the minute to the fullest. A person special is about to have a birthday and you're looking for merely the right phrases to make use of for this delighted occasion. You might additionally employ a popular music team that might play real-time traditional tracks during the whole entire evening for an extra advanced celebration. To add fuel to the fire, Koshka began to make the coughing sound that was his version from a belly laugh. 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If you really love a certain exotic meals, discuss it as well as if this is actually possible he will certainly make reservations at a dining establishment that provides that even if he never ever attempted that previously. Might make every comics followers dream a fact along with a reported launch from the Justice Organization in 2015. Not that I hate exactly how I appear-- that is actually more merely that I should make some lifestyle adjustments. Spanish destinations like Majorca carry unique entice holidaymakers from within Europe. My man left me and also informed me is over I was actually ruined as I loved him a great deal I determined to consult with a spelI wheel and I complied with a buddy which told me from a terrific doctor and I made a decision to contact him as well as he informed me in 3 days my partner will certainly contact me as well as beg me to acept him I thought he was poking fun in three days everything happened as he said I am actually therefore satisfied could additionally contact him at; efespelltemple @ for any type of sort of assistance, or contact +2348106985072. Barcelona-based author Peter Christian will present you how you can add an authentic, vivid style to your communicated Spanish and you may discover some additional definitely awesome Spanish action-words and also words sure to assist you win the appreciation as well as admiration of native Spanish audio speakers alongside free of cost once a week Spanish tips over on the Streetwise Spanish internet site. 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Certainly not getting just what they wish, certainly not obtaining all those factors that they assume will certainly make all of them pleased, they come to be bitter, nasty, imply and also they are seeking ways to forecast all those negative feelings on those around all of them. Around the United States there more than 65 thousand homes delivering food items for untamed birds. Kareena Kapoor has chosen that she will certainly carry out movies and tasks that create her satisfied; she has determined that she is at a phase in her profession where she can pay for to become a lot choosier. She will certainly love the thought and feelings that you deal with her as well as the things that create her happy everyday. If you would like to make your husband satisfied, you should ensure that you more than happy firstly. The technique here is actually to come to be aware of that space and afterwards opt for the action that will ensure you are actually in command from your activities and emotions. I can be satisfied due to my placement as well as not concern my scenarios. Inquire your youngsters, Just what can I carry out to create you think loved?" You'll be startled to hear what children think.

[lbcybersecurity]

What is your product and what does it do?

Lessons I learned trying to make the most of vendor briefings

I’ve always been a sort of ‘cut-to-the-chase’ kind of guy. I’m self-taught when it comes to security and technology. Over the years, I’ve learned how to skim through a book, article or website to extract the important information. Sometimes I’m just trying to figure out how to do something, or I’m looking for an answer to a specific question.

Just tell me what time it is, I don’t need to know how atomic time clock frequency standards work.

Conversely, I also have an appreciation for context and a good story — as long as you eventually get to the point.

Anatomy of a Vendor Briefing

Here’s how the average vendor briefing usually goes.

The WebEx Tax (5min)

Waiting for everyone to join, restarting WebEx or some other screen-sharing app because it’s misbehaving. Chit-chat about weather and where everyone is physically based, or happens to be at the moment. I quickly communicate that attempts to talk sports are wasted on me — I just don’t follow them anymore.

Introductions (5min)

These are important — I want to understand who I’m talking to. I want to know whether or not I can ask technical questions. I want to understand the backgrounds of who is on the phone.

About the company (5min)

How is the company doing? How did it start? Where is it located? How many employees? Is it growing? What about that lawsuit? Who are its customers? What company size/verticals are being targeted?

The Problem Statement (10min+)

This is where about half of vendors start to lose me. Typically, I’m talking to a vendor in a space that I cover closely and have covered for years. I’ve probably written about this space, given talks about it and discussed it at length… well, you get the idea. This is also where platitudes and hyperbole start to roll out. Silver bullets and ‘one weird trick’ to fix security! Most of these meetings are occurring over the phone without video, so the vendor may not hear the sound of my eyeballs violently rolling back.

On the other hand, I do want to hear the problem statement from the vendor, provided it is concise. The problem statement helps me understand how the vendor sees their market and their place in that market. Sure, I understand it, but I want to see it through the vendor’s eyes. In some cases, the problem statement reveals an outdated or artificial view (in my opinion), but in others, it offers insights or perspectives I hadn’t considered before.

Recommendations:

Ask the analyst a few questions to gauge their familiarity with the state of security in this particular market segment.

Be concise — briefing an analyst isn’t the same as talking to a sales lead.

The Product (10min+)

This is the most important section, especially in security, where the variety of products and technologies combined with the prevalence of buzzwords can result in some very confusing messaging.

WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!

Recommendations:

Please start this with an architecture slide. Too often, I find myself wondering throughout this portion what the product actually is. I’m hearing about features and functionality, but I don’t know if it’s SaaS, a hardware appliance I rack in my datacenter, a VM I download and deploy, a managed service… This is important context to have for the rest of the conversation!

Lay out all your products and services, even if you’re only focusing on one in this call — this also helps to give important context.

Mention partners and integrations — few security products these days can survive long without integrating into the customer’s existing environment. I want to understand where you overlap, where you replace and where you complement.

Roadmap, competition, future of the market (remainder)

Most of security is a missing feature market, so chances are good that your product may not be long for this world. How are you going to handle that? Especially for startups — if you’re counting on an acquisition exit, how do you ensure you’ll have a seat when the music stops?

The next meeting

If this one went well, I might be interested to see a demo or speak with a customer. Sometimes I want to see a demo because I’m excited or skeptical. Demos are typically easier to keep to 30 minutes because the meeting will be focused just on a screenshare and walk-through of the product.

Other Recommendations

Briefing Length

I find I really need an hour for a briefing. 30 minutes usually ends up feeling rushed.

Analysts are not Sales Leads

When talking to an analyst, your goal isn’t to convince them to buy your product. Instead, you want them to understand your company, products and goals. Make the analyst understand why different customers would want to buy the product and the different approaches that get the customer to sign a PO.

Ideally, you want to make a fan out of an analyst. An analyst that casually or actively mentions your company or product is a huge win. Everyone wants word-of-mouth marketing, but analysts tend to have ‘bigger mouths’ and more influence. Help the analyst understand:

What you do

Why you do it

Your target market

Market differentiation

Use cases

Roadmap and long-term goals

Have a purpose

You sell encryption? That’s great, but how’s it different from the other encryption? Why would I go with yours over another? Do you compete entirely on price and features, or do you have a deeper story and purpose that draw customers in and make them want to be loyal to you?

Buzzwords

Don’t use them unless it’s efficient to do so. For example, if your product is EDR, just say you play in the EDR space. If it’s EDR plus some innovation, don’t avoid the EDR term because you don’t want to be ‘pigeonholed’ with your competitors. It just ends up being confusing.

I remember the first time I talked to FireEye. And the second. And the third. Each time, the sales person described the product (the NX appliance was the only product at this time), and it came off sounding like an IDS/IPS. They ensured me that it wasn’t an IDS/IPS and proceeded to use the same words to describe it again. It wasn’t until I got an engineer on the phone for that fourth call that I was finally able to understand what the product did.

Call a spade a spade — not a next-gen superior triangular manual digging tool. You can even call it an awesome spade if you think it’s awesome, just use words a normal person would understand.

Clarify B2B relationships

DON’T use the terms integrate, partner and alliance interchangeably. They have different meanings.

Integration: “We did some work, they didn’t have to do anything. In fact, we didn’t even really talk to them — we’re just ingesting their API/feed.”

Partnership: “We got together, talked about it, and each of us built pieces that work together in some way.”

Alliance: “We got together and built something entirely new”

Additional DOs and DON’Ts

Do

Go over the agenda for the call and set expectations right at the start. If I’m expecting a demo and there’s no one on the call that can give a demo, I’m going to be disappointed.

Use specific examples or anonymous customer examples

Walk through demos

Give me access to the product, if this can be done easily

Give your pitch to an engineer/product manager to ensure you’re explaining it correctly — nothing’s worse than being contradicted by an engineer during a briefing. We’re going to second guess everything else you’ve said.

Suppress toaster popups during a screenshare. Or don’t. Sometimes the content of your IMs and Emails is VERY revealing. More revealing than your General Council would be comfortable with.

Share your presentations beforehand. I can ask better questions if I know what we’re going to cover. Also, because WebEx WILL fail you.

Learn how to use the screenshare app and/or Powerpoint before the call. I’m frequently amazed at how many people don’t know how to get Powerpoint full-screen.

Go over product naming/branding — I’m also amazed at the number of vendors that never even tell you what product they’re talking about and don’t reference it in the slides.

Tell me how it is priced, sold and licensed.

Tell me cool customer stories

Don’t

Rely on an engineer to explain things — if the marketing/sales guy can’t explain it or doesn’t understand it, you’re not ready to brief an analyst.

BAD: “I’ll have to check with one of our engineers on that”

WORSE: The engineer is on the call and confuses the situation more.

Badmouth competitors — there’s just no excuse for that. If you think you do something better or have an advantage, fine — tell me that. But don’t start telling me how much more effective your product is unless you’ve got some data from a study that I can review. And no, a Ponemon PDF is not “data from a study”.

Make fun of other products — I’ve found this usually backfires. In almost every case I’ve seen a vendor do this, the flaw they’re pointing out exists in their own product as well.

Example: a security awareness vendor was campaigning a piece on “AV’s Dirty Little Secret”, which turned out to be that AV wasn’t 100% effective. No shit! What’s the effectiveness of security awareness tools again?

Make me fill out a form on your website to get basic details about your products. Often, to fill gaps in the briefing, I’ll go to the website to fill in the details. Maybe I forgot to ask what platforms the product is compatible with, or when the company was founded. Please don’t make it hard to find this information. If you put me in a position where I have to endure sales calls in exchange for basic information, I will hate you.

Expect me to be impressed about your lightweight agent, CISO dashboard or the founder’s time in Unit 8200.

Suggestions for the Analyst

Explain how your firm works — if briefings rarely result in coverage, let them know ASAP, because that’s typically not the norm (or so I’ve been told). What interactions are paid vs free? How are meetings scheduled?

Manage expectations before the call — what are you looking to get out of it? That will impact who the vendor needs to schedule for the call, what materials need to be prepped or how long the call needs to be.

Stop the presenter if they’re going into stuff that isn’t a good use of your time. Redirect the conversation down a more productive path.

Stop the presenter if you don’t understand something. Don’t just nod and let them continue. Don’t be afraid of feeling dumb. When I started as an analyst, I had never heard “north-south” or “east-west” used to refer to network traffic flow before. Just a few months ago, I found the definition for “east-west” was contentious when I thought it was more straight-forward.

What is your product and what does it do? was originally published in Savage Security Blog on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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from What is your product and what does it do?

[ba2astoryadaptation]

Critical Analysis

Critical Analysis

The aim of this project was to write a short story adapted from the novel The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. The novel was written in 1886, as the result of a dream Stevenson had. The novel is one of the most adapted texts ever, with over 123 film versions. Adaptations are still being made with Dr. Henry Jekyll Appearing in Penny Dreadful (Logan, 2014) and the ITV series Jekyll and Hyde (Higson, 2015) the texts main themes are the urban gothic and the duality of man. The novel follows the lawyer Mr. Utterson as he investigates the mysterious Mr. Hyde, who performs all manner of nefarious deeds, including murder. The big reveal is that Jekyll and Hyde are the same person, in the concluding chapter Jekyll’s perspective takes over and all of the loose ends of the novel are tied up.

When adapting my short story, my main influence point from the novel was the final chapter. ‘Henry Jekyll’s Full Statement of the Case’ as it is titled, begins by focusing on Jekyll’s motive when creating the formula which transformed him into Hyde. When describing his ideas he talks about the good and darker side of man, and says “If each could be housed in separate identities, life would be relieved of all that was unbearable” (Stevenson, 1886, 75). This was the main point that inspired my adaptation – which follows Jekyll and his servant Poole as they create a machine to fully separate Hyde and Jekyll, achieving what he first desired. It is also important to note when it takes place, as it begins after Hyde has murdered Carew – this was chosen to add weight behind Jekyll’s decision to under-go this task.

Another influence for the idea was a passage from the anatomy of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Irving Saposnik. The author says “Colloquial metaphor for the good-evil antithesis that lurks in all men, it has become the victim of its own success, allowing subsequent generations to take the translation of the original, to see Jekyll or Hyde where on should see Jekyll-Hyde.” (Saposnik, 1971, 715) Here Saposnik criticises further adaptations for treating Jekyll and Hyde as separate characters. This fuelled the basis of the adaptation idea, attempting to turn what Saposnik views as a negative, in to a decent adaptation.

The idea of the machine came from my research into the Victorian era, a period of time rife with inventions and technological change – the period near the time of the industrial revolution. It was also influenced by the genre of steampunk, which itself is derived from the Victorian era as it was a great time of change. With texts such as ‘The Curious Case of the Clockwork Man’ (Hodder, 2011), Dishonored (Bethesda, 2012) and Fable 2 and 3 (Lionhead Studios, 2008/2010).

When writing the short story, one of the problems encountered, was fitting within the word limit. The original draft written, was around 2000 words. One of the reasons this problem arose was due to familiarity with fantasy writing – which is often longer form and more drawn out, Flannery O’Connor said, in The nature and aim of fiction “The novel is a more diffused form and more suited to those who like to linger along the way” (O’Connor, 8). Changing to a short story writing style was difficult and took some time. In the end I managed to get to grips with it, the second draft being 500 words shorter, totalling at around 1500 words. For the next draft I kept in mind a quote from Kurt Vonnegut’s eight rules for writing fiction: “Start as close to the end as possible”(Vonnegut, 1999, 10)

Yhe third draft of my story, then, began much farther ahead in the story, enabling all of the unnecessary exposition to be left out. This process was fairly foreign, coming from a (while not extensive) longer form writing background. During my writing process I exposed myself to music from the period the story took place. One of the best pieces of music for this was the soundtrack to Assassin’s Creed Syndicate (Ubisoft, 2015) as it is essentially a best hits of the period. The soundtrack was heavily influenced by Victorian and industrial London, both in terms of tonality and instrumentation. This aided my writing process by giving an impression of both the time and locale, through audio.

As useful as these influences were, however, the short story didn’t come out incredibly well in some regards. The piece of writing lost some of its atmosphere and mood after the majority of the descriptive language was removed. There is little to ground the reader in the room with Jekyll and Poole, only getting a brief glimpse at what is happening. The dialogue is also far from perfect, feeling very direct and unnatural, as if it had been written rather than said. The re-drafting process also lead to more explanation of how the machine is being used and what the characters are attempting to be removed. This makes it a little harder to follow. The narrative itself didn’t really go anywhere, with the cliff hanger ending it’s left on, it works for possibly intriguing the audience, however it isn’t a satisfying ending – it doesn’t really feel as if the reader will come away with anything from the story. This could also be due to the static nature of the story, only taking place in one location over a short period of time, feels like a snapshot of a larger story – which as an adaptation, it is. Some of Jekyll’s motives seemed a little muddied – as if he was attempting to be rid of Hyde for the good of others rather than himself, whereas in the context of the books it would probably have been purely selfish. The character of Jekyll, then, in the adaptation isn’t fully faithful to Stevenson’s original text.

On the other hand, the story does flow better in some ways by being more concise. The benefits of the short story form, is the ability to strip away a lot of the narrative, making it solely about what is happening rather than the added exposition. While I often prefer the longer form, the shorter narrative does have a charm in its straightforward, more direct approach, this can be seen most clearly in the success of Ernest Hemingway. The story’s concept is probably its strongest feature, I still believe the idea could be used to create a fairly good narrative, one of the problems of the idea is its lack of conflict, as prevalent in the majority of modern western narratives. The original idea did have more to it, going past the transformation scene with a conflict between Jekyll and Hyde. Poole and Jekyll’s relationship in my short story is also one of its stronger points, I received feedback highlighting this, and looking back I am also content with how their relationship developed throughout the various drafts.

As an animation, this adaptation would work well as a stop motion piece. The mechanical pieces and steampunk feel lends itself to the physicality of stop motion. The ominous and slightly dark feel of the story would also work well in a creepily made stop motion piece, similar to short films such as the maker (Kezelos, 2011). Due to the setting of the story, the lighting of the scenes would be dark and murky, with rudimentary lantern light and bits of moonlight revealing the dust in the cabinet. The movement itself could be similar to the traditional short film stop motion animations, not as fluid as bigger budget pieces – the slightly ‘off’ movements lending to the darker vibes. The puppets would be highly exaggerated – Jekyll tall, lanky and worrisome. Poole, hunched over with duller grey skin and more basic clothes. In the stop motion style the machine could even whirr to life and give the scene some extra energy.

The stop motion style would be perfect for the ending of the short story – the transformation could be done through clay or a similar material, really exaggerating the squash and stretch. Making miniature concoctions for the process would also give an extra feeling of warped reality – the liquids appearing realistic but in this eerie stop motion reality.

Overall I think The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde acted as a good basis for adapting a short story, with interesting themes and characters to draw influence from. The writing process taken improved vastly throughout the extent of the project and the finished short story worked well, to a certain degree. While creating a longer form version of this story would have been appreciated, working in the form of a short story has enabled me to learn more about writing than otherwise. The short story seems liked it would be a good fit for animating in stop motion and it would be interesting to see it done, however it might need tweaking as it is fairly dialogue heavy for a stop motion short film. The project has allowed me personally to grow in terms of my writing abilities and in terms of my creative process.

My critical analysis turned out okay, in hindsight I would have liked to have gotten feedback on this before submission to get an idea what to change. Overall I feel it went well, but I could have been a bit more academic in my analysis and included more research and quotes.

[kennthmclblg]

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