#i needed a lot of time to process it hence why i'm posting it NOW and not any sooner

[skaruresonic]

The common rebuttal to "this reads like fanfic (derogatory)" is "read better fanfic," which is true in certain cases, but on the other hand, there is some grain of truth to the idea that you can tell when someone's primary mode of literary analysis is fanfic instead of... well... literally anything else. It's okay to like or even prefer fanfic, but if you want to take your craft seriously you also need to read books, dude. Published books will teach you a lot of stuff fanfic doesn't, like proper dialogue formatting and how to introduce your reader to unfamiliar characters. Even the crappiest book (well, if it's not After or 50 Shades, which started off as fanfic to begin with lol) will have been subjected to some sort of editing process to ensure at least the appearance of proper grammar. That's not a guarantee with your average fanfic, and hence why you can't always take all your writing cues from fanfic because it's "so much better" than commercially published original fiction or whatever. Frankly, fic writers tend to peddle some absolutist and downright bad takes sometimes. "Said is dead" is a terrible rule, though not because said is invisible and a perfectly serviceable tag; that's just part of it. Dialogue tags are a garnish, not a main dish that can be swapped out for more ostentatious words. If your characters murmur and mutter instead of simply saying stuff, your readers are going to wonder why nobody speaks up. "'I'm explaining some very plot-important shit right now lol,' she elaborated," likewise, is a form of telling. Instead of letting the reader extrapolate that "she elaborated" via the contents of the dialogue itself, you're telling them what to think about it. And that's why it's distracting: your authorial hand is showing. Writing is an act of camouflage. You, as the writer, need to make your presence as invisible as possible so as to not intrude on the reader's suspension of disbelief. That's the driving reason behind "show, don't tell." And overall, everyone could stand to cut down on the frequency of their dialogue tags anyway. Not every exchange needs "he said" or "she whispered" attached as long as you establish who is doing the talking before the exchange. Some people will complain of confusion if you go on for too long without a dialogue tag, and that definitely is a risk, but at some point you also need to resist the temptation of holding the reader's hand. If they can't follow a conversation between two people, chances are they weren't meeting you halfway and paying that much attention in the first place. In fact, you don't even necessarily need action beats in between every piece of dialogue, as Tumblr writing advice posts will often suggest as a fix. Pruning things often cleans them up just fine.

Another fanfic-influenced trend in writing is, I guess, beige prose? A heavy focus on internal narration with lots of telling. It's not a style I can concretely describe, but every time I click on a non-mutual's writing, I feel like it always has, like. This "samey" voice to it. There's no real attempt to experiment and use unique or provocative language, or even imagery half the time. It's almost a dry recital of narration that doesn't leave much room for subtext. I see this style most often in fanfic where you can meander and wax poetic about how the characters feel without ever really getting around to the plot. And it's like. DO something.

Other tells that the author is taking their cues from fanfic mores rather than books: >>too much minute description of eyes, especially their color and their movement >>doesn't leave much room for subtext (has a character speak their every thought aloud instead of letting the reader infer what they're thinking via action or implication) >>too much stage action ("X looked at Y. Y moved to push their seat in. X took a deep breath and stepped toward Y with a determined look on his face. 'We need to talk,' he said.") >>tells instead of shows, even when the example is about showing instead of telling ("he clenched his teeth in agony" instead of just "he clenched his teeth") >>has improper dialogue tag formatting, especially with putting full stops where there should be commas ("'Lol and lmao.' she said" instead of "'Lol and lmao,' she said." This one drives me up a wall) >>uses too many dialogue tags >>"em dashes, semi-colons and commas, my beloved" - I get the appeal but full stops are your friends. Too much alternate punctuation makes your writing seem stilted and choppy. >>"he's all tousled brown hair and hard muscle" and "she's all smiles and long legs." This turn of phrase is so cliche, it drives me up a wall. Find less trite ways of describing your characters pls. >>"X released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding" >>every fucking Hot Guy ever is described as lean and sinewy >>sobbing. why is everyone sobbing. some restraint, pls >>Tumblr in general tends to think a truism counts as good writing if you make the most melodramatic statement possible (bonus: if it's written in a faux-archaic way), garnish it with a hint of egotism, and toss in allusions to the Christian God, afterlife, or death. ("I will stare God in the face and walk backwards into hell," "What is a god to a nonbeliever?") It's indicative of emotional immaturity imo, that every emotional truth need be expressed That Intensely in order to resonate with people. >>pushes the "Oh." moment as the pinnacle of Romantic Epiphany >>Therapy Speak dialogue. why is this emotionally constipated forty-something man who drinks himself stupid every morning to escape gruesome war memories speaking about his trauma like a clinical psychologist >>"this well-established kuudere should Show More Emoshun. I want him to break down crying on his love interest's shoulder from all his repressed trauma" - I am begging u. stop >>"why don't the characters just talk to each other?" "why can't we have healthy relationships?" I don't know, maybe because fiction is not supposed to be a model for reality and perfect communication makes for boring drama?

>>improperly using actions as dialogue tags ("'Looks like we're going hunting,' he grinned") >>why is everyone muttering and murmuring. speak up >>too many adverbs, especially "weakly" and "shakily." use stronger verbs. ("trembled" instead of "shook weakly") >>too many epithets ("the younger man" or "the brunette detective") >>too many filter words ("he felt," "she thought," "I remembered")

>>no, Tumblr, first-person POV is not the devil; you're just using way too many filter words (see above) and not enough sentence variation to make it flow well enough. First-person POV is an actually pretty good POV (not just for unreliable and self-aware narrators) if you know what you're doing and a lot of fun crafting an engaging character voice. Tumblr's hatred of first-person baffles me, and all I can think is you would only hate it if your only frame of reference was, like, My Immortal. Have you tried reading A Book? First-person POV is just another tool in your toolbox, and like all tools, it can be used properly or improperly. But it's not inherently a marker of bad writing. The disdain surrounding it strikes me as about as sensical as making fun of the concept of characters. Oh, your work has characters in it? Ew, I automatically click off a fic if it has characters in it. like what.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Writeblr intro post

So yeah when I first came here I didn't know this was a thing so I've been working on this in the background. Now that it won the poll, I'm making it now!

I'm going to edit this post as I go so it has more links as I make posts about my WIPs!

About Me

Hi. Call me Kaylin. It's a pen name but I like it. (Some people are just finding out this isn't my real name and y'all should've read the bio)

I'm an education major and do writing on the side and it's a huge passion of mine (hence why I want to teach literacy)

Asexual demiromantic sapphic (she/her) currently in a relationship - (I am comfortable within reason to talk about my experiences)

Love ask games and tag games and generally interacting with others

Love reblogging mutuals' writing talking about WIPs!

21+ but my WIPs are YA - I don't usually reblog anything with a mature community label (sorry in advance for mutuals who do), but when I do I mark it 18+ and I try to label content warnings (LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED SOMETHING)

I'm an educator by heart so I love giving feedback, know a lot about kids, and of course education psychology and theory

I have minor scoliosis, early start of arthritis in my hands, and chronic headaches and migraines attacks in control with medication if anyone needs to ask me about these experiences for writing purposes. I also occasionally use a cane due to knee pain from an injury.

I have an ultimate get to know me game here if you want to check that out

My asks are always open! Feel free to stop in whenever you want!

My WIPs

The Secret Portal

See linked intro post for more detail!

YA sci-fi/fantasy

Planned to be a five book series

Quick version: A bunch of adolescents discover a portal to a dimension populated by people with powers. There's also a war. Yayyy.

The first installment is currently in the process of being read by beta readers. Apply to be one here!

Tagged as #the secret portal, #tsp, or #teaspoon if you want to give it a nickname. #tsp updates and #tsp excerpt are used as well. All characters get their own tag and #alium will be used when talking about my world building

Ask to be added to or removed from the tag list! @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites

School of the Legends

YA urban fantasy fairy tale retelling

International school for people with gifts (born with), majicks (learn), and curses (given).

Currently in planning stage but five chapters have been written.

No intro post yet but I'm working on it!

Tagged as #school of the legends and #sotl. Also use #sotl updates and #sotl excerpt, though not as often as TSP

Ask to be added to or removed from the tag list! @illarian-rambling @katwritesshit @wyked-ao3

Other Ideas

It Was All Just a Dream - high school senior gets an entire redemption arc via vivid dream

The Emerald of Secrets - temporary title for vague fairy fantasy idea

Perspectives - we watch the same event five times in a row from different perspectives

Eternity - temporary title for a supernatural detective story

The Others - temporary title for a sci-fi apocalypse story

There are more but these are the main ones

What I Post or Reblog

Updates on my writing

Tag games and ask games! I love them dearly but it may take a bit to reply! I have a lot piled up and not all of them are simple. But I will get to them!!

Writing from others

Writing advice

Beta requests, book announcements, and intro posts to help boost!

I try to keep things positive! If I see a negative post about writing I'll usually reblog it with some positive spin. Sorry if that's annoying but it makes me sad that people aren't happy about writing.

I always try to include image IDs to make my blog accessible - if something is incorrect or you have any suggestions for making IDs better let me know!

[bluginkgo]

Quick announcement (before the diarrhea of information):

I'm gonna go on a semi-hiatus for a week or so. I'll still be around, just not posting any drawings. Need to replenish my energy and drawing reserves cause I'm dead >_<

Sleep behind scenes!

So... Ginkgo why the hell did this take you so long? Sorry, sorry 😅 Here's what happened. I got burned out after like 10 pages (specifically the manor backgrounds killed me, plus having the full gang in the story) and then got sick and was not feeling all that great. Working through the burn out, sick, AND college work on top was quite hard not gonna lie though, but I wanted to finish it ^^

Alright, now as for little unnecessary Easter eggs, I added as nods to the show and my other interests. ^_^

1. Undertale save point. Undertale had me sucked in for a good long while, and for some odd reason decided to re-emerge in a form of the star save. Made it purple for Uzi's effect over N. She made him more rebellious, so he started to question why is it his memories and dreams are strange/corrupted/missing instead of just going with the flow.

2. Ep3 nod. V and N have history, history that I wish we get to see. V was nicer, kinder, in my opinion, prior to the absolute solver going rampage. So it makes sense for them to have some sort of friendship at the VERY least. So I decides to give it a small spin to it too. A direct quote from ep3 ^_^

3. Ep 2 + 5 nod. I kinda pulled the moment when James dismissed N from ep2 together with events that follow after N leaves library in ep5. Chronologically, these events don't fit together, seeing as ep2 is when N first meets Cyn and ep5 is when she's already set up the massacre. But this is exactly what I was going for. N's memories are jumbled at best, so I took liberty in mixing, matching, and editing his memories just as the admin program would probably.

4. Absolute Solver symbols nod. My chats with @absolute-solver (sorry for annoying you with tag 😅) made me realize that the absolute solver ought to have more presence now. It's activated and running systems in the background for Uzi. Whiiiiich means that drawing absolute solver should start now. BUT, it's rudimentary at best. Symbols don't really make sense and are not completed for most of the time. Not until Uzi at least sees the error message in ep2, when she truly starts questioning what that weird symbol on her visor is. I headcanon that N does know or at least feel that the absolute solver symbol is familiar, hence the little comment.

5. Absolute Solver Nori. Why is there so many absolute solver Nori around? I'm certain she went back to normal, just like in pictures Khan showed us in ep4 post core collapse. But I connected the solvers together here. Uzi's absolute solver string is up and running, and because the solver is a hivemind, it'd connect the memories and warp them a little. So that's why Uzi's doodle of her and Nori at the end (and during memory recall) was so full of absolute solver. It's slowly taking root, whether she wants it to or not.

Personal touches/added/cut ideas:

N's tail wrapping around Uzi like a hug. Originally, Uzi was supposed to look more nervous, but not for the reasons you might think. I cut the nervous look to a more upset look so it wouldn't be confused for fear. Uzi's never scared of N (yes, I don't count ep2 either, that was a lot of events at once and very little time to process them). The nervous look was more of a "Why are you butting in?" type, you know? Being a loner makes you cautious, so when N prods at feelings, I figured Uzi would be a bit defensive.

Cyn is fully rendered and yet I glitched her so much I felt bad. So here's full absolute solver Cyn eldrich monster thingy. ^_^

I pulled a Hazbin hotel moment. Did you see it? Abracadabra GONE! All the scraps from first couple pages with NUzi chatting POOFED out of the existence. Did I get lazy and tired? Yes, that was the tell tale sign of burn out, when I stopped keeping track of background details and just kept the pod.

These progress shots show pretty well how the story boarding goes and how I change my mind too easily. 😅 storyboard is still as much of a mess as ever, sketch shows you I was gonna keep Uzi's hat, but decided against it in final product. I figured this. Nori gave Uzi the jacket whenever Uzi got a bigger body + hair. These are the same jacket and hair Uzi has in canon. Uzi's body is just upgraded again and her hair gets shorter in that regard. The jacket would be big on her, and cover her hands, but what's up with the fluff if I draw canon jacket more spiky? And where's the death battery drawing? I headcanon Uzi drew those on once she got into the angsty teenager stage. The jacket is more spiky from wear and tear.

Fun fact! You can sorta tell who's gonna show up in the comic by what memes I post prior. Here's some examples ^_^ Cyn showed up, and that was first practice with maid outfits and Cyn's eldrich form. Closely followed by manor gang, the second/final form of maid and butler outfits and prime practice for those scenes. This example is a bit spoiler for a meme I'm working on right now! I've never drawn Nori before, so I quickly sketched out the idea and continued on with the comic (otherwise, I'd lose my steam and procrastinate on it again). Memes are filler for you guys while I work on the actual projects (comics), and along the way, they give me practice and change in drawing style ^_^

Is it a coincidence that this comic is called Sleep with the release of a certain horror game? Actually, yeah pure coincidence 😅 I had this drafted allll the way back in November, and didn't take particular interest in poppy playtime until I saw lanky boi, which was actually during a stream I watched on release day of the chapter.

(I didn't know tumblr, or at least the phone app, had a tag limit of 30, BOY was I surprised @brookiedaaroacecookie that must have been THE tag city, sorry 😅)

Next comic is Loneliness 1 and 2

This one is split into 2 POVs from both Uzi and N side, thus its 2 separate comics. That one will be more NUzi centered, too, a slight angst and comfort spin to it. That will come... sometime. I have a few more projects I wanna finish up with prior to starting on these guys ^_^

Why are you still reading this? Omg, have a cookie 🍪 you made it. Have a nice day now ^_^

[notsodailycake]

Here, i finally finished this💀

Meet my Zelink fan kids! I have alot planned for them, but I'm too shy to actually share everything, especially bc I've only now just started fully exploring Totk (i got the game around last month) and so i wanna make sure I'm like, canon accurate, but i wouldn't mind answering questions about them👉👈

Anyhow, some fun facts about the desings:

Sonia has scars on her eyes and the tip of her left ear, why? The ones on her eyes were caused by a wolf she came across the one time she ran away from home (due to her jealousy over her sister when she was born, it's a long story), the one on her ear is bc of a bird she tried to grab once since Adira thought it was cute and wanted to pet it (Adira was 2, Sonia was 5)

Sonia's earring was a gift from her bff/crush, a gerudo girl that imma keep secret for now bc I'm still working on her

Adira's feather necklace is a gift from her close buddy/bff, a rito, which I'm also gonna be hush hush about for now

Adira messes around with alot of not so safe devices out of curiosity and the need to create, but gets her hands dirty/hurt in the process, hence the band-aids

They both have small fangs thanks to their mom (iykyk)

Adira's favorite color is pink, Sonia's is blue

Also, huge thanks to @carogdraws for helping me desing their clothes! It was a huge help and i probably wouldn't have done it without it ^^

Now, those are the extra info i have for them, the rest of the basic info i have already shared will be under the cut

Yes it was copy pasted from the last post i did about them, but i have a need to keep everything in one neat little post sue me

The two girls are 3 years apart. Oldest is Sonia (yes, named after Queen Sonia herself), and the youngest is Adira

Sonia is more like her dad, especially in terms of looks, but she inherited her mother's eyes and thurst for answers. She's very energetic and adventurous and likes helping others

She tends to be the guinea-pig to a lot of her sister's projects and creations since she has almost no self-preservation. She enjoys it tho, thinking it as a fun activity to try out new things and hang out with her sister. She also enjoys carving things, mainly toys and masks. Most of her sister's toys were made by her when they were around 11 and 8

Although she is usually quite the airhead, and not really the brightest (like her dad, cough-), she definitely inherited her mother's overthinker mind. Doesn't help that she also tends to think little of herself, being the firstborn of the Princess and Hero themselves, alot of people put her under alot of high expectations and although her parents tried their best to show she didn't have to prove her worth, the gossip around town was hard to ignore, doesn't help the fact that her sister has started to become a prodigy to her mom, creating inventions to help hyrule and planning to bring the royal system back when she's old enough

Sonia though, has no intention of bringing the royal life back, nor to continue it. Like her dad she wants to explore, she's fascinated by history and wants to disvover every small relic left unseen. And she wants to travel beyond Hyrule one day as well and help those she comes across her path. But also perhaps, escape the duties and expectations others put on top of her, and perhaps prove herself better then those expectations

She loves her sister tho, despite everything, and will never admit to her how jelouse she actually is of Adira. How jealous she was of Adira of being able to hang out with their mom so much, have so much in common with her, sometimes she wonders if she has anything from her mom other then her eyes

Adira is alot like her mother, especially in the looks department, but she has her father's eyes and thurst for chaos. She's usually quiet, but very sassy when needs be, and although seeming quite shy, she got quite the temperament and wont hold back her tounge

Like mentioned previously she becoms a prodigy to her mom, creating and getting invested on inventions to help hyrule and planning to bring the royal system back when she's old enough. She spends most of her time studying and working on anything technology finding it fun to see what possible outcomes it came give

Although sometimes the pressure is too much, as much as her parents give her the liberty to explore her interests, as she had started to show advancements in her creations and helping hyrule, as well as proclaiming to bring back the kingdom (even tho she was a child when she said that), all eyes were now set on her and she is terrified of any failure, and to disappoint everyone, she usually confides on her sister who never cared of her status and just liked to be around her for her (and well, she felt too embarrassed about it to tell her parents about it, they didn't need to worry about such simple things in her eyes, they already fought the townsfolk so much bc of that, she didn't want to make them dislike her parents bc of her)

She admires her sister alot, looks up to her and wishes she could be as cool as her, as free as her, but she isn't good in any sort of physical activities and is usually just stuck in the lab. And that causes a smidge of jealousy as Sonia is able to bond more with their dad then Adira ever could, she feels like she has nothing in common to her dad other then his eyes and need for chaos (which the second part was something looked down apon by others)

And those are the basics i have so far, there is more but I'm unsure about it for now, and aren't 100% concrete yet, so i wont share at the moment

But before i end this, here are some small fun facts:

Both Sonia and Adira are pure glutons, just like their dad XD. They have cooking sessions together quite often, helping around the kitchen when they can;

Sonia loves horses as much as her dad does, but she is terrified of riding them, because when she was little and riding one for the first time, the person who set settle on didn't do it properly and she fell, head first into a rocky ground, and to add onto it, the horse stepped right onto her pinky. Now she has small panic attacks trying to ride them

Sonia actually used to hate Adira. Since Adira was a rainbow baby, Zelda and Link did kinda get overprotective with her and accidentally neglected Sonia. That didn't last long after Sonia did cause a whole scene with running away and almost getting killed- but that's likez a whole other story in itself lol (i might make a more detailed post about this later). But after that incident, they were able to work things out, and Sonia ended up being way more protective over Adira than her own parents

[my-mt-heart]

I obviously haven’t been very stoked about a lot of choices this first season—the opposite if I’m being honest—but when I first listened to the radio scene, it felt like a reprieve from those feelings. Norman’s performance is perfect. I could sense his urgency to get a hold of Carol, and of course once he does, his tone melts into something much softer, something we know he reserves only for her. I appreciate the long pauses he takes to study her voice. He hears something in her words that we don’t (🤨). He worries that maybe she’s not really okay.

Carol’s line “you never need to worry about me, Daryl” makes me think back to her “I love you too” in the series finale, or more specifically the weightlessness of it. Melissa said it was Carol’s way of taking care of Daryl. She wanted to make it easier for him to leave, and at first, I wondered if this time was supposed to represent more of the same. We understand why Daryl sounds excited because we have the privilege of reading his body language. Maybe when Carol hears it, she thinks he’s enjoying himself out there. Maybe she's reluctant to admit how much she misses him because she doesn't want to take him away from where he really belongs.

Here’s where I’m struggling though. Theoretically, Melissa would’ve had Norman’s footage to play off of while she recorded her side of the conversation. That's how it's typically done. We know both of them always play off each other brilliantly. We’ve seen it countless times. It’s why their chemistry works. It’s why we ship them. But in this scene, I'm not getting any of that. There’s no emotion behind the words, none of Melissa's nuances, and the more I listen to it, the more I realize it isn’t Melissa’s voice at all. It really pains me to say it, but it sounds like AI.

If that’s true, then you'll have to be patient with me while I take the time to fully process my feelings about it. After everything—booting Melissa from the show in the first place and then gaslighting her fans about it—AMC wants to use a copout loophole in Melissa's contract (what many actors have had in their contracts hence the need for a strike) to jeopardize Melissa's integrity, deny everybody what they've had to wait a long time for, Melissa, and cheapen what could've been the most impactful scene of the season? Are you fucking kidding me? That’s just lazy, manipulative, disrespectful, and infuriating.

I was really excited to analyze a new Caryl scene today. Believe it or not, I don't want to keep hating on the show. I want to enjoy my two favorite characters, but as others have said, I’m tired of bending over backwards to arrive at some—any—hopeful conclusion about Caryl’s future. It’s hard enough when the writing is as inconsistent as it has been, but now AI is involved? No one should have to exert energy on analyzing a performance that doesn't exist. It's a poor reflection of Melissa's talent and a huge disservice to Caryl's story. I'm heartbroken.

Good to see her trending though. She deserves all the love she's getting today.

On another note, because I don't want to make a separate post about it, I also watched the scene where Daryl gets mad at Laurent. **TRIGGER WARNING*** As someone who grew up in a very "loud" household and experienced PTSD from it, I wasn't put off by the anger. I understand Daryl wants to go home, and the kid ruined what seemed like his only chance. It's the name-calling and Daryl putting his hands on Laurent that specifically crossed the line for me. The show is clearly trying to force Daryl to draw comparisons between him and his dad, but this feels like something Daryl has already worked through on the flagship show. The moment he saw Carol flinch on the farm, he knew he wanted to be different. Carol and TF helped him be different. He is different. He doesn't need to prove that to himself or anyone else anymore. Enough of the character regressions.

[altocat]

so i'm trying to get back into the swing of things after almost a decade of being out of ffvii fandom and ever crisis has rekindled a very powerful desire to write and write until my fingers fall off. so i'd like to ask, since you're in the tags and seem quite knowledgeable: what is your opinion of genesis's writing in crisis core?

i've always been of the opinion he was woefully mishandled, and i'm currently trying to reconcile what we were given with what i assume they were going for. got about 2k of a fic with a slightly difficult to explain premise written so far, but sephiroth is pre-nibelheim in post-advent children time (no dirge of cerberus) where genesis is about a decade older than him now. and they're navigating the fallout of the last time they saw each other.

i'm using a lot of what we're learning about sephiroth to color their relationship, too -- my boyfriend skillfully pointed out that it feels like genesis may have developed a parasocial attachment to the version of sephiroth that shinra fed him through propaganda, and when he met the real thing he was let down and became resentful.

so i'm wondering, how do i handle it without making it into a personal vendetta against how horribly i felt genesis was written? heh

The writing on Genesis in CC is....yeesh.

I'd chalk that up to many things--general mishandling, the fact that Genesis is only limited to appearing when Zack is present, and some translation issues from the Japanese language over to English. Lots of his arc as a character doesn't really feel earned, or they don't take enough time to establish his good qualities to make the player care about him.

It's important to note that, despite the fact that the game failed to shed proper light on this, Genesis DOES have many good qualities. He's kind to the lower ranking soldiers, whom he reads to. He and Sephiroth, for all their rivalry, seemed to be close at one point. He was presumably a good friend to Angeal. And even Gackt himself has said that Genesis has a "sweet" streak hidden beneath all that bluster.

It's equally important to note that the Genesis we see in CC is desperate, dying, and under the influence of the Degradation Process. Angeal himself points out that the process seems to dull the mind, clouding it. Sephiroth may or may not have some variation of this as well once his Jenova cells are activated in Nibelheim. So Genesis is really not "himself", warped and twisted, trying to preserve his life, angry and bitter at what Shinra did to him. He's at his lowest point emotionally and psychologically, hence why he does what he does. The writing....just doesn't convey it well.

As for his relationship with Sephiroth, I feel like Sephiroth was closest to him out of all his friends, and Genesis' previous idolization of Sephiroth is the primary reason why he WANTS to be the best. He wants to beat Seph to prove that he's WORTHY of being around Seph. As a boy, Seph was his hero. He HAS to surpass him or become his equal to prove that he can stand toe to toe with the person he feels is a real hero. The dilemma is that Sephiroth never wanted to be a hero and would have always valued Genesis just as he is. Genesis already had what he was looking for...he just didn't realize it until it was too late. They're a complicated pair, with lots of miscommunication, unresolved tension, and poor decision making shared between them. I think they needed to talk to each other more than anything else. Because there was something genuine there. They could have kept it, they could have shared the apples just like Genesis always wanted.

Post-CC, I see Genesis carrying a lot of guilt. Both his friends are "dead" and he basically kicked off the events that led to it. He's been pardoned by Minerva and will now act as the planet's hero and protector, but at the cost of the people he loved. There's no real room for arrogance anymore. He's a hero not out of pride, but shame and remorse. He's tired, lonely, and now fully recognizes the pain of what heroism truly is. He's "grown up" in a sense, become a different person. Crisis Core is a coming of age story in many ways, not just for Zack but for Genesis as well. It's too bad they kinda bungled the delivery.

Hope all of that helps! Genesis is actually a really interesting character when you dissect him. He's sorta become one of my top faves over time, even if I fully recognize him as a complete trashlord. But I think there's more to him deep, deeeeep down.

[daffodilfool]

Re: Music and Intelligence

Before I start there's a couple things I need to get out of the way.

First off, this is a "follow up" of sorts to an old tumblr post of mine which you can find here. Feel free to read it if you're interested, just know that I wrote it on a whim without really doing any research. Since writing the post I decided to write a paper on the subject for school, and I now know a lot more about the subject than I did back then.

I am also still by no means a professional biologist, nor an expert in any of the stuff I'll be talking about. I am a biology student, an artist, and an autist extraordinaire writing a post on tumblr. Take everything I say with a grain of salt if not two.

With that said,

I. What is Music?

That's a good fucking question, and if I'm going to be completely honest, we don't fucking know. It may seem obvious but the fact is whatever you think is the answer, someone else will disagree with you. What is and what isn't music is entirely subjective, and what you may think is music, someone else might just hear noise, and vice versa. But it's still a question we need to answer in order to continue, after all you cant find something when you don't know what you're looking for.

To spare you the boring part, for the purposes of this discussion music will be defined as an abstract form of verbal and / or instrumental communication based around the use of one or more "musical qualities" such as rhythm, melody, tone colour and pitch.

This definition is the result of a lot of discussions between me, my supervisors, my friends and my family, and is based in various scientific bases such as mathematics, history and neurology, as well as common consensus. But I won't bore you with the details.

II. How is Music?

Unless you are famed composer Ludwig van Beethoven, you might have noticed that when you listen to music, you tend to do so with your ears. Your ears are however not the part of you that process the music, the ears simply turn sound waves into electrical signals through a series of bones that groove it silly style to compress a liquid that tickles some incredibly sensitive hairs that send out electrical impulses in response. Got that? No? Doesn't matter. What's important is the ear converts sound waves into electrical signals that the brain is capable of processing.

So how does the brain process music? Well for most sounds it's more or less fairly straight forwards; as the electrical impulses from the ear reach the brain, the temporal lobe (located just behind the temples) snatches up that signal and compares that signal with your memories in the hippocampus (the memory center, located inside the temporal lobe) in order to deduce what you heard, as well as comparing signals with the opposite temporal lobe to deduce where the sound came from. If the temporal lobe recognises a sound as being speech, that info is sent to the frontal lobe for processing and back again.

Music, however, is not so simple. While the first pass is similar to processing speech, by the time the signal has reached the frontal lobe the temporal lobe has begun sending out signals about the musical qualities to most other parts of the brain as well. Most notably the amygdala (responsible for emotion) and the parietal lobe (responsible for processing touch, spacial awareness and the somatosensory system) are sent into overdrive in order to process the emotional and rhythmic aspects of music and processing them as your own, hence why listening to music has such a strong emotional and sensory effect.

The brain is complex, and truthfully we don't know exactly how it works. After all, "If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't." But what we do know is that processing music is no simple task, in fact it is incredibly energy intensive, seemingly wasting resources in an already incredibly power hungry organ.

So of course that begs the question:

III-a. Why is Music?

This is where it gets a little more speculative. Truth is we don't know, and we likely never will. Unfortunately I can't give you a 100% true "this is how it happened" set in stone answer, but what I CAN give you is my best educated guess, and let you think about it in the mean time.

I've read dozens of papers on the origins of music and the origins of intelligence, but not a single one of them mention what, to me, seems like an obvious link between the two, aside from the occasional conclusion that music is an evolutionary hiccup and a side effect of intelligence. But I'd argue that not only is music not an evolutionary hiccup, but rather an integral part in the development of intelligence.

Music undeniably influences the brain in a massive way, but the exact amount is highly debated. Some are thoroughly convinced that music has the power to make people more intelligent, others believe music has no more influence over the brain than any other sound. There are plenty studies supporting both stances and an equal amount contradicting them. So where do I stand?

Intelligence is not one monolithic concept, but rather a series of cognitive skills that interact and interface with each other and the world around us. Problem solving, logic, emotional intelligence, spacial intelligence, linguistics, and creativity, to name a few, are all kinds of intelligence, all of which can be trained. While music isn't some magical spell capable of just cranking up these cognitive skills, it does serve as an effective medium through which one can easily train several of these skills all at once, by virtue of engaging the entire brain, ESPECIALLY (but not exclusively) in the context of learning an instrument.

Learning an instrument is difficult and a large reason as to why is exactly because it engages so many aspects of the brain. Playing an instrument requires spacial awareness to know where to play, it requires problem solving to know how to play, it requires emotional intelligence to know what to play. It engages nearly every aspect of intelligence, and the ability to train all these facets simultaneously allows them to build off each other, paired with the fact that you're already training several skills in the same time as you would train one, comes together to form an intelligence greater than the sum of learning each skill individually.

III-b. Why Music?

The observant among you may have noticed that I've been talking a lot about "intelligence" in that last section, but I never bothered to define it, why is that? Simply put, I can't, I don't think it's possible. Intelligence is such a vast nebulous concept that no one definition of it would be just or even somewhat accurate, but going forwards I'll be talking about sapience specifically, often defined as the ability to feel and understand emotions as well as the ability to do complex problem solving. Good? Good.

Humans are the only sapient species on earth, that we know of for sure, at least. That isn't to say there aren't other potential candidates for sapience, because there absolutely are animals straddling the line of what we would consider sapient. So what animals are the most likely to be sapient? Well it's commonly agreed upon that us, chimps, elephants, cetaceans, corvids, parrots, and octopi make that list, but what you may notice is that besides our shared intelligence, we actually have very little in common otherwise: body shape, phyla, behavior, diets, environments, etc.

But the one thing that we all have in common besides our intelligence, also just happens to be a trait only observed in this seemingly random selection of animals: the ability to understand music. If music were an evolutionary hiccup, a mere coincidence in our development, surely it would not be a trait shared only by sapient animals, nearly all of which evolved their sapience separately.

So why do music and sapience seem to be mutually inclusive? Well, what is "intelligence" really if not the ability to take in and replicate knowledge? The more efficiently you are able to communicate a concept, and the more efficiently you're able to store and apply said concept, the more intelligent you are. It just happens that art is the most information dense form of communication, and music happens to be one that nearly everyone is capable of creating using no outside tools whatsoever.

Music is a universal language, one so deeply ingrained within us that it overpowers even the spoken language of modern day. Though it may have started as simple monotone calls to simply alert your next of kin of your presence, a la cicadas, the ability to parse that information efficiently would clear up more space to communicate more complex ideas, and over the span of hundreds of thousands of years, if not millions, those simple calls began communicating progressively more complex ideas, until eventually you would end up with what we now today know as full blown music. Remember what I said earlier about music being an effective learning medium? Yeah, imagine that except over the span of eons.

That, I believe, is why music is.

[sassenach082]

I gotta know, what is your writing process? Is there a specific mindset you get into or can you just write anywhere? take me through the process please:)

Hey there! Okay, wow, so. I'm going to attempt to answer this without sounding like a lunatic. It's going to be long so I'll put it under the cut for those of you who want to move on.

First, my actual writing process, which is mostly planning.

The first thing I do is decide how I'm ending. I'm a work backwards kind of writer, probably because I'm a teacher and that's how we plan, the first thing we decide is what we want them to know. So in writing, I always decide, "How is this going to end?" and write that first. I've had the final scene of I'll Ride in my google docs since about 3 hours after I saw TG:M for the fourth time (I saw it 12 times in theaters, hence the lunatic comment above, but I digress).

Once I know how it's going to end, I decide, who are the characters? Where is the setting? What is the conflict going to be? Once I have a vague idea of that, I start my google doc for my outline. Since I write both POVs, I do three columns:

chapter number

POV

main scenes / summary

I'm not someone who writes out every little thing in an outline. Just to give you an idea, here's the summary for chapter 8

title: that fear that’s inside you will lift, give it time

-Ice & his fam vs. The Colonel Who Is An Ass -Sarah is a gem and already knows he’s gay and loves him anyways because, she’s A Gem™  -ice talks to Pete on the phone after dinner, listens as Mav and Bradley read the dinosaur book to him -ice goes to the o club to see the boys and is all ‘yo maverick is fucking struggling also we’re all adopting bradley’ and the boys go ‘aiight cool bro’ -slider pins him against a building and is like “so how long have you been fucking  mitchell” and ice is like ‘fuck off ronnie’ and ronnie is all ‘ice for fucks sake how stupid do you think i am i don’t give a fuck if you like dick i know you’re in love with him i’m not an idiot’ etc -He checks out books after Mav’s panic attack on how to help with trauma

So as you can see what I had in my outline isn't exactly what happened, it's basically just "which scenes do I want in this part". I don't write them in order I just kind of write the main things I want to happen, the scaffold if you will, and then I build the house. I usually go through 2-3 drafts which is why it sometimes takes me a long time to post. It's a 4 step process.

+ decide the scenes I want to see + write the main scenes + put them in chronological order in a new doc + go back and fill in details to connect the scenes together

I'm a very visual person and I have a gift of being able to read something and play it like a movie in my head while I'm reading. It's actually called "visualization" and lots of people can't do it which is my theory why they hate reading but that's whole other conversation. The point is I make the movie in my head, but I pay attention to - where are they? What are they doing? How are they moving? Where are their hands? Ice picked something up, now he has to put it down, where is he going to put it down, how, when, etc. I call it setting the scene but I don't know what it's actually called. As a reader it annoys me when I have no guide on what they're doing in a scene so I try to include those details just because it's easier for me to picture it and I hope it's the same for my readers.

Sometimes my brain decides to do other scenes and I'll add those in as I go. Sometimes my chapters get too long and I have to shove scenes down into the next chapter. It all lives in my google doc so I can keep track. When I'm working on a chapter I will just highlight what I've written so I can see what I still need to write.

Once it's written, and I think this is the most important part, I go back and reread. The whole thing. Start to the end of my new chapter. I check for: 1. am I following my own canon 2. do I have a plot hole on accident, and if I do, I have to fill it 3. do details match (like descriptions) 4. does it flow Sometimes I don't like the flow and that's why I will scrap sections and rewrite them to get more in the headspace of whoever the POV character is. This is extremely difficult for me to do with Ice, he's the harder of the two to write and his chapters take me a life age. I've straight up had Mav's chapters done for over a year. It's the Ice ones I'm working on now. Some of the later chapters will have both POVs just because Ice is so hard for me right now.

Once I have it done I send the link over to my beta. She's great and gives feedback on scenes etc. (Love you mtnofgrace!) and helps me to check that it makes sense / is in character / etc.

Then, I post! I can write pretty much anywhere, and I get into the writing mood by listening to the Top Gun soundtrack mostly. Or just rewatching one of the movies if it's been a while since I've written. Some days I write nothing and others I crank out thousands of words, it just kind of depends on if my muse is flowing. Listening to asmr Top Gun youtube videos with the music and jet noises helps me focus that's what I usually listen to while writing.

Hope that answered your question!

[byierficrecs]

not sure how it's possible but your work keeps getting prettier and prettier! can i ask what your process/method is for creation?

hello! sorry it's taken me a little to reply :S first of all, thank you!! that's very sweet ^-^ anyway, i'm not sure this will be particularly insightful :( but here goes nothing:

step 1: check the form for new submissions!

and then delete them all >:) ,,,but not without copying the information to a variety of spreadsheets. behold the madness:

in this one i copy the information that was submitted as it is.

these are where i rearrange the information so a) my brain can understand it and b) so that i can copy/paste stuff while making graphics and at the time of posting.

the first one is for the captions i attach to every tumblr post, and the second is the alt text for the images. there's a third one for twitter, but it's the same as the tumblr one.

and this one is where i keep track of all the steps i follow!

spreadsheet: copying the information from the forms

proofread: open the ao3 work to quickly check that someone didn't sneak explicit stuff or something like that

read and graphic: self-explanatory

captions and alt text: registering the information in the tables i showed before

twitter and tumblr: scheduling the posts to go up

(3 and 4 are inverted, but i'm too lazy to change it now x.x also, notice how they are (mostly) arranged in groups of three; before i even proofread things, i roughly decide the general aesthetic of the graphic: dark, pastel or colourful)

i do this almost every night. since people usually submit stuff in bulk, i often spend one or two hours simply sorting through the forms.

step 2: read the stories!

i usually read a story, then make the graphic immediately after. this is so i don't mix things up and the story is fresh in my very-forgetful mind~ while i read, i try to imagine things as they happen and pick at least one element i want to include in the graphic.

for instance, for this one (post), i wanted a duck somewhere. evidently, it ended up being a very minor detail but there they are! ducklings! :]

step 3: try to imagine the graphic

this is admittedly the hardest part tbh. i stick to my statement: i am not an artist. give me a minute and i will come up with a decently fleshed-out story idea. art or visual aspects are a different tale x.x some days my creativity leaves me altogether and i just stare into space for hours with absolutely no clue of how to make a graphic for one story.

hence why i rely so much on inspiration. some days i ravage my bookshelf, some days i google "spider book cover", some days i browse spotify and look at the album art and many days i end up scrolling through the canva templates section for hours until i see something that sparks an idea.

this one (post) is random. i was stumped on what to do and then i glanced at the video i had on the background and that was that.

i look at anything and everything for inspiration,,, again, i have no idea how artists do this x.x not to imply that they don't struggle (i'm sure they do), but i'm genuinely bad at this,,, especially since i try to make all the graphics as unique as possible; i like flowers, they are pretty and go well with most stories, but i think it'd be quite boring if everything i made had flowers :S

step 4: make the graphic

anyway, when i (finally) have an idea, i go on canva and get down the first element i had in mind, or the colour i want to use, or the general composition,,, anything. sometimes the only thing i've thought about is the text.

and then i just go from there, often with no plan or ending idea in mind :S

some graphics are simple and i can get them done in two hours, some are complex and i get them done in ten hours. perfectionism is how my brain is wired and i always feel like i need to bring things to perfection, so i tweak everything a lot even if i know i could get away with leaving some stuff as it is.

alas, i try to have fun during the process and sometimes i surprise myself with making something i am super proud of!

like this one! (post). as you can see, there are a bunch of layers and details. i went in with literally no plan but i kept adding stuff until it felt good :]

it's not as simple as just sticking some of canva's assets together, though. i often have to do a lot of editing. everything in that tunnel, for instance, was just lineart (?) with no option to give it a background colour, so i had to go in with my limited artsy knowledge and paint things until they looked the way i wanted.

these are all the different canva assets i used in that one + a finn silhouette. i'm trying not to use too many silhouettes because, like flowers, it's easy and i often gravitate to that but no >:( i shan't fall prey to the impulses.

speaking of silhouettes,,, there must be an easier way to do it, but the software i use (gimp; it's free x.x) is a little confusing to me so i just end up "tracing" over the outline of photos i like.

in the process, i tend to go all,,, frankenstein.

i chopped off finn's arm in the first one :( but then i gave him a jacket for the second one because his silhouette looked cold ^-^ (also gave noah will-hair). third one i just,,, mirrored the other arm x.x 1st story || 2nd story || 3rd story

other minor changes i often have to do is recolouring stuff and the like

again, these are edited with gimp and i'm sure there are weird errors, but i felt the story needed something softer (post).

some elements i actually find from other free source (?) websites, but it's rare.

last, but not least, sometimes i do try my hand at art x.x i'm not sure i'm good in the slightest, but it's been somewhat fun to try. i tend to look at artists i like, mainly for colour palettes because i never struggle with the graphics but i get stuck when trying to draw :S

for instance, the colours in this one (post) are all inspired by the second artwork in the tweet.

step 5: double check before posting

confession: yesterday i forgot to add the author's name to a graphic. there are at least three graphics in this account that are missing the "ratings" altogether. sometimes, there are minuscule mistakes that could've been easily spotted and fixed and i just,,, didn't see them.

i often catch a million things like that while making the graphics, but things do slip at times and i end up thinking about them for weeks x.x so i double and triple check everything and i never catch everything, but i try :S

i try to get my brother to help me a little, but the dingus always says everything is okei and goes back to his shenanigans >:( he is an actual artist so it's all the more frustrating but alas, there's nothing i can do about it x.x

step 6: schedule things for posting

uh,, not much to say about this. i just add the graphics, copy the information from the spreadsheets i showed you, then add all the links and tags and leave things be :]

except,,, i don't. i move on to something else and then i go back to check for mistakes and i keep looking for errors and i sometimes change things last minute x.x

the little detail in the corner where mike is screaming? that was added a minute the thing went up,,, (post)

it's uh,, overwhelming. i know i overthink way too much (about my writing, too), but it's been ten years of getting anxious about these things so i'm not sure it'll stop anytime soon :(

the little comments you guys leave really help though! so thank you for that :]

step 7: post the thing and "rest"

again, i continue to search for errors after i post, but unless it's a big thing (like the aforementioned "i forgot to add the author's name" moment from yesterday) i force myself to leave the post as it is. my brain hates me for it, but it's the one thing i manage to do to ease my anxiety x.x

so, with the post up and big errors mended, i get to rest! for a bit! and then i have to do it all over again!

this entire process (step 1 excluded) takes around 4-6 hours (or more) so by the time i post something, i'm already late at making the next graphic :S hence why i usually take a couple free days every few graphics.

i've also been really sick lately (covid + randomly passing out because of overarching health issues) so things take a bit longer :(

it's fun though! i'd never tried my hand at any visual stuff and some graphics are admittedly lackluster, but sometimes i surprise myself with some very pretty things i make :]

in addition to the ones i've already shared, i'm quite proud of these graphics~ 1st story || 2nd story || 3rd story || 4th story || 5th story || 6th story

plus, i get to talk to a lot of nice people, read/share wonderful stories, and more importantly, do something nice for authors! so it's all worth it, i think :]

random, but i'm not sure i'll ever get to use this little guy so i want to share him :D

anyway, i could continue to procrastinate for quite a while but i have to (gues what!) go make today's graphics x.x shoutout to all the authors whose stories i randomly featured here; please check all their stories as they are all amazing.

@itsromeowrites, @ghoulsanderson, @wiseatom, @eggo-owl, @smoosnoom, @byeler, @bookinit02, @lilacline001, @astrobei, @voulezvulcan, @sevensided

i'm going to take a nap now. apologies if, after all this, i didn't even answer your question.

personal blog || support me on ko-fi x.x

[lightningfilledsaber]

i have a quastion. what is dungeon meshi like i’ve considered watching the anime since it looks amusing…. i trust you as an authority on this hence why i’m in your asks :3c

Dungeon Meshi is so good!!!

So Ryoko Kui (the author of the manga) is a super super great artist and writer in general, and her knowledge of intimate and expansive worldbuilding, including the cultures of different fantasy races is VERY apparent in dunmesh without being super in your face. It strikes a perfect balance between showing and implying and telling; giving you information when you need it but not holding your hand throughout the process. Ecology and biology of creatures and the places (mostly dungeons but yk) is SUPER important and expanded upon in the story. It scratches my Creature autism SOOO well. And all of the characters are VERY distinct and fun AND THE DESIGNS FUCK SOOO HARD. Dungeon Meshi has become one of my favorite series of all time, because it's so. so fucking profound. There are a LOT of funny moments and gags but there's an equal amount of genuinely serious and emotional moments. The character dynamics. GOD. Cannot recommend it enough.

Also. Dungeon Meshi is super fucking horny. LMAO. Not in a "fanservice-y" way (in fact, there is only ONE character that ever gets upskirt/panty shots and it is Senshi, the bearded dwarf man. He's my fave btw <3). But dunmeshi uses consumption (and to a lesser/technical extent cannibalism as well) as a... metaphor for love and obsession, and frequently eroticizes it. I hesitate to say metaphor because it's honestly VERY obvious lmao. Especially with how genuinely autistic Laios is about monsters and eating them. Then there's also transformation and change that's also VERY eroticized. A lot of the focus of Dungeon Meshi is desire. How people experience it, and just how far people will go for it. Which, again, is super eroticized a LOT. All done in a tasteful(? not sure if this is the right word but yk) way and not in a surface level "LOOK, SEX!!!!!!!!!" way. Not that there's anything inherently WRONG with being horny and not being like profound about it but I'm just trying to make a point lol

Now to specifically talk about the anime since that's what you mentioned wanting to watch (though I REALLY reccommend the manga, it is fucking GORGEOUS and there are so many hilarious panels that haven't been brought over to the anime, despite how well it's been doing with that so far. It just happens with turning a manga into an anime yk?)! It's doing a really good job so far!! The only issues I have are relatively nitpicky (I've gone into detail abt it if you wanna see here) and more of an issue with modern anime overall so! They're doing a really great job of translating over from the page to the screen and the voice acting work (both the original japanese and english dub) is really fucking good. And I don't typically like modern english dubs. The layout of the episodes is really nice so far too, centering around the "dish/es of the day" without feeling too constrictively like your typical "monster of the week" type episodes. It helps that Dungeon Meshi as a media itself strikes a really good balance between that and its storytelling. Though again. Laios is genuinely SO fucking autistic about monsters and eating them lmao and the series focuses on him/his party so! There's so much good in depth discussion about monsters, both their biology (especially in relation to their taste hehe) as well as their natures, and ecology!

I'm also really a fan of netflix releasing the episodes weekly instead of dropping them all at once. It's refreshing coming from netflix specifically considering their... track record.

But anyway yeah! TYSM Marty for coming to me about this and letting me go on an autistic talk about it!! I only apologize for not being more specific, but a lot of my dunmesh posting (reblogs anyway since I'm pretty sure the posts I've MADE about it have been relatively vague??) is already pretty spoilery and I'm a firm believer in a first watch/read being as spoiler free as possible!! It makes subsequent rewatches/rereads all the more fun to me personally <3 Though that's obviously up to you lol

[tripleyeeet]

CONFLICTION

SUMMARY: Avis is good at killing, great even. So why does tonight feel different?

PAIRING: Loki Laufeyson & Original Female Character

WORD COUNT: 2,539

WARNINGS: Descriptions of murder and mild body horror.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi, hopefully this chapter wasn't bad? I've been in such a shitty place when it comes to writing and I'm already not very confident in writing first chapters so :') Anyway, I know this has literally no Loki whatsoever but I promise in the next chapter he does make a (small, sorry) appearance!! I just needed to set some shit up first!

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST

-

MEETING NOTES APRIL 16TH, 2016

THOSE IN ATTENDANCE: TONY STARK, STEVE ROGERS, JAMES RHODES, NATASHA ROMANOFF, THE VISION, AVIS FINCH, ETHAN CAMPBELL, ISAAC LANE. 

STARK: Alright, Ghosty, you and your bandits have the floor. 

FINCH: Thanks, Tony. Okay, well, uh, first of all, thanks for hearing us out. I know you don’t have a lot of time on your hands, so, uh, yeah —anyway, we’re here today to discuss with you some intel we received on March 25th, 2016.

ROGERS: What kind of intel?

LANE: While touring in Reykjavik we were informed of a threat developing in the northern parts of Canada. An extremist group that goes by the name of REGEN. R-E-G-E-N.

FINCH: Essentially they’re a radical group of born-agains who believe in the eradication of mutants. [pause] During one of our missions we encountered one by the name of Linda Meekly. At the time she was undercover working under the pseudonym Sofia Petrov.

LANE: We discovered her body in the Jónsson household while sweeping the area post-altercation. On her person, there were two different items tracing back to said group such as a cell phone that we had Ethan decode and a tattoo on her left wrist. 

RHODES: What’s the connection with the tattoo?

CAMPBELL: The tattoo is of a pair of antlers.

RHODES: Antlers? Seems like a bit of a stretch.

CAMPBELL: Well, uh [pause] oftentimes antlers are considered symbols of regrowth. Regrowth being a word that’s typically synonymous with the term regeneration —hence the connection to the name REGEN.

FINCH: Basically, at the beginning that was our assumption. Regrowth equals REGREN equals the obvious born-again culture these individuals adopt. [pause] Then when we did some further research we found that Linda’s phone was riddled with pictures similar to the tattoo itself.

CAMPBELL: We included those in the case file for you to see. 

ROGERS: What else did you find on the phone?

LANE: A series of coordinates locating various group bases. Most are along the northern border of Canada —some to the west, but mostly east, as well as at least four along the coastlines of Greenland. 

ROMANOFF: Any in Iceland?

FINCH: Yes, the one in Reykjavik had one just twelve miles north of the Jónsson house.

STARK: Wait, why was Meekly at the house in the first place? 

LANE: According to an email sent to her brother just after four o’clock the same day, she was there trying to make a deal with Ketill Jónsson, a well-known, high-ranking member of HYDRA. 

ROGERS: Do you know what the deal was?

FINCH: At this moment in time we’re not entirely sure. Our best guess was that Ketill was on the fence about HYDRA’S recent plans. Seeing as HYDRA is a very active group when it comes to the process of mutating humans we’re assuming REGEN is against them in some way. 

ROMANOFF: A common enemy. 

LANE: Possibly. All we know for now, based on both emails and texts, was that Linda and Ketill knew each other previously, that she was there to speak with him, and that both of them died in an ambush carried out by SHIELD. 

STARK: Ambush?

THE VISION: Director Fury ordered a hit against the household after it was found they were withholding a powerful artefact. 

STARK: Artefact, which artefact? I didn’t hear about—

THE VISION: It’s [redacted], it gives the user the powers of [redacted].

LANE: We and the rest of our team were sent to retrieve it by any means necessary.

STARK: I see.

RHODES: So, what does all this have to do with us?

FINCH: Unfortunately the retrieval was deemed a failure. Four of our agents died and the [redacted] was not recovered. We’re here to try and make things right and explore all of our options. 

[group pause]

ROGERS: You think this REGEN group took it?

-

Avis’s skin feels like it’s melting.

Against the blaring heat of the shower head, she bites her bottom lip and continues to scrub, moving down her forearm in repeated motions. Hissing, she feels the surface of it sting, its glowing red aura reminding her that despite the pain, the circumstances of this shade are better than the last. That these raw splotches of pinks and reds are better than the crimson liquid of a dying man’s cough. 

Because even though his blood is long gone, the build-up of grime she feels beneath her skin will never wash away. Despite her deepest hopes, that feeling of Abner’s last breath against her skin will forever live within her lungs, holding onto her bronchioles each time she tries to find relief within the air. 

Like his predecessors, he’ll be added to the long list of men and women embedded into her body. The memory of his death —the way he clutched her throat against the ground, swearing about how he’d kill her before she ultimately did the same unto him— will forever stick to her like sap from a tree she knows will outlive her. 

For a while, she’ll see his face in everyone she meets, picking up on certain inflections and mannerisms. In crowded rooms she’ll see glimpses of him in the background, looming like he so often did. And at night, she knows he’ll surely haunt her dreams. His twisted face grinning beneath her blood-soaked body as he whispers all the secrets she never wanted to hear. 

Knowing this, she continues scrubbing, moving to the next arm with a sigh, hoping that the new location will provide some relief before the water runs cold and she’s forced to move his body. 

A crossroad she’s hardly excited to come to. 

Just the thought relinquishes a shaky breath within her. The kind filled with fear and guilt —the realization that if she doesn’t do this she’s screwed because her DNA is all over his carcass. The pads of her fingers, stained with his blood, are stamped all over his skin. Contrasting his paleness, every etch of her identity is tattooed against his throat. Seared into his chest. Blistering across his abdomen. 

So, if she leaves now, she’ll surely get caught.

Would that truly be as awful as it sounds?

It’s a thought that runs through her mind for quite some time. The possibility of it all playing over and over, each conclusion slightly different than the last. 

“What if I just gave up, hm?” she asks herself as she stops the running water and steps out, feeling a chill run up her spine because, yes, what if? 

What if, instead of continuing this plot alone she went and got help? It couldn’t possibly be that bad, right? Sure, she’s killed her fair share of people but obviously, all of them came with their reasons —stories filled to the brim with validities of her actions. 

For an easy example, Abner was a cultist. A stupid man hellbent on eradicating the existence of mutants. Every word that fell from his mouth was propaganda about how they were the enemy —how they were genetic failures sent to overthrow God and his people. There wasn’t a normal, well-functioning bone in that man’s body and it showed even in his last moments. 

Stepping out of the bathroom Avis glances at his lifeless body on the floor, giving it a tsk. If only he’d listened the first time. 

“I really did give you a chance, Abe,” she says out loud then, moving across the space with careful feet to grab her bag. Inside there are toiletries, a change of clothes and some equipment —cleaning supplies, rope, a saw, garbage bags etc. Things she often used on her missions when SHIELD’s help wasn’t readily available. 

Lazily, she grabs the change of clothes and begins to get dressed, ignoring the way Abner’s eyes stare blankly at the ceiling all dried out and wide from the air in the room, opting to focus on the texture of her underwear as she slides them over still damp legs. 

It almost makes her thankful that she’s alive to feel anything. The lingering presence of death still heavy on her mind. 

When Abner was suffocating her she could almost taste that sweet relief. That sensation of ultimate release. As she tried to gasp, she could feel it through the breathlessness of her lungs. The tightness in her chest filled up like a balloon on the verge of destruction. At that moment, everything inside of her felt like a cliff’s edge; the sudden thought to jump splayed across the inside of her mind. The craving for that last step as she lay underneath him, gripping onto his forearms becoming more and more apparent. 

By then, the darkness had already begun to envelop her. Like an old friend, it came to her aid when she needed it most, whispering in her ear that everything would be fine —that giving in was alright despite the job going on unfinished. Someone would surely pick up where you left off, the voice told her.

She wanted to listen. More than anything she wanted to produce a bloodied smile and just let go, but deep down she was just too stubborn. Too angry and persistent in her quest, so now she’s here instead, tiredly putting on her bra while the dead man next to her lives her dream. 

It’s unfair, isn’t it? That, in the end, such an evil person gets exactly what he wants. A fateful death at the hands of a mutant. How fitting. 

Rolling her eyes at the thought, Avis begins to move back to the bathroom, toiletries in hand as she angrily kicks Abner’s side, hoping to release some frustrations. 

“Maybe I should just cut you up and leave you here,” she mumbles, grabbing her toothbrush. “I could call your wife —pretend to be the police and leave before she shows up.” She uncaps the toothpaste, slathering a little bit on before shoving the brush into the side of her mouth. “Then she can have the pleasure of burying you instead of me.” 

It’s a tempting thought. One that often repeats itself each time Avis finds herself in the aftermath of a kill. A part of her knows it’d be fun to give in to her desires. To let loose a little bit despite knowing that the worst parts of herself come out then —the petty, frustrated ones that would rather risk getting caught than give her victims the satisfaction of being right. 

Most of the time in those moments she imagines what it’d be like to see the pain on their family’s faces, knowing that a mutant did this to them. Would it change anything? Would they be scared to see the lifeless body of their fallen comrade? Or maybe relieved? 

It’s a question she often wonders each time she disposes of the body. As she kneels in motel rooms under dimly lit lamps and cell phone flashlights, taking apart each target piece by piece, her mind drifts to places far from the flesh in front of her. Places of quiet contentment; of comfort and joy and—

She spits into the sink, a small ache flowing through her as she turns on the faucet to wipe everything down. In silence, she sticks her brush under the cool water, running her thumb mindlessly along the bristles before tossing it aside with a sigh, opting to forgo deep cleaning the basin as she moves back into the room to start setting everything up.

-

To the average person, decapitating a body is excruciating work. To Avis, it’s just a few annoying steps between the kill and a well-deserved good night’s sleep. 

In fact, on average, she can tear apart the body of a target in four hours flat. From set up to tear down, she’s meticulously perfected the entire process —every movement flowing into the next. So much so she doesn’t even have to think of what comes next. 

When performing, her mind is like an empty vessel, giving room for her hands to beat and cut and—

Tonight though, she feels a wave of exhaustion flowing over her. Her thoughts once shoved to the back of her mind, run rampant at the forefront, making it hard for her to focus on the cutting of the saw. In her hand, she can feel it constantly slipping between her fingers each time she rakes it across the column of Abner’s half-open stomach. Its handle feels strange as she wiggles her digits and swears under her breath, trying her best not to think because to properly sit with the results of her actions, she has the shove the image of Abner’s deconstructed body into a box somewhere. She needs to act on routine. To take the hammer then the saw then the bags. 

Bash, slice, store, repeat. 

Instead of imagining the consequences she needs to turn back to her motivations. Why does she do this? Who is she doing this for? What will happen when she finishes this? 

Normally, it’s an easy enough task to complete, but tonight something’s off. Something subtle that makes her stomach twist each time she hears the usual sounds of the world. She can feel it penetrating her ability to work. Any time there’s even the tiniest hint of life outside her door she finds herself pausing. 

“I’m probably just imagining things,” she has to keep telling herself. “I did all the usual steps. I made sure we were hidden.” 

After every limb cut, instead of forcing herself to continue like usual, she takes small breathers, knowing that tonight it’s necessary. She can’t work under the conditions of self-distress, despite her obvious impatience. She needs to slow down —to stand and stretch and breathe because if she doesn’t, she runs the risk of getting caught.

Which is an odd thing to think about now that she’s killed more than the average person. No longer is the act itself something she ponders. Now it’s the conflict. The back-and-forth feelings of wanting to do what’s right versus knowing that getting to that point is wrong. 

Deep down, she knows she’s a fucking hypocrite. Your classic case of comic book vigilante who does everything right for the wrong reasons. The blood on her hands isn’t deemed worthy of her effort. The blood caked beneath dirtied nails that scratch at wicked skin is nothing but a nuisance in the eyes of both sides and she knows it. 

That’s why she has to keep going. 

So she does. With a sigh, despite the exhaustion, Avis picks up where she left off, gripping the saw as tightly as possible. Against her palm, the handle moves with ease, sliding further down flesh and bone with each pass until Abner’s completely deconstructed and tucked away in small bags. 

Despite the uncomfortable context, it still feels like an accomplishment to stare down at her work. Each bag tied and packed away for safekeeping. It means the worst is over, signalling Avis’s tired grin as she rubs her eyes and continues. 

Just as efficiently as the task before, she packs up her things, barely bothering to organize, knowing she doesn’t have much time.

The sun is nearly rising and she’s just managed to finish up, meaning that she has about an hour to make it to the safe house.

-

TAGGING: @lovelysizzlingbluebirdd, @just-someone11, @linaax, @eleniblue, @infinitystoner, @ozymdias, @use-your-telescope, @liminalpebble, @freegardenbanananeck, @lokixryss, @unlucky-number-13, @violethaze, @simplyholl, @coldnique, @mischief2sarawr, @jasperthechaosgremlin (if you’d like to be added fill out this form)

[decamarks]

ok so i'm going through stuff and starting to get a better grasp on some of the things that i missed in Petscop. i'm curious, what's your take on Belle/Tiara? i don't remember if you talked about them in that big essay you posted in feburary because essays like that kind of turn to mush in my brain.

OH BOY belle... yeah i didn't talk about her much (or at all?) in that essay, since it was more broadly about petscop as a series than any individual characters. i might someday write something exploring specific story elements/characters because good god there's a LOT to talk about there, and hopefully i'd be able to write it in a way that isn't as much indefinite word mush to the mind </3 BUT for now i can offer you a short summation of my thoughts.

like all the other characters in petscop, it's honestly kinda hard for me to pin down a singular 'take' on belle, especially considering how the series framing seems intent on kinda... keeping her locked up, so to speak. she's confined to the quitter's room, which directly reflects amber's room as they both bear the same symbol—she's behind some perceptual bars, and you have to blur your eyes to see between them. belle isn't often allowed the spotlight: she talks to paul on the phone, but we can't hear what she says; she has 153,822 hours in the game, practically none of which we get to see... it's important to remember that belle isn't part of the 'family', and the petscop footage we see is being curated by that exact family. what we see certainly isn't the full story.

name/identity alteration being as central to the story as it is, it's probably important to clarify why i'm only referring to 'belle' and not 'tiara'. basically, tiara is not a fully formed identity—she's merely an entity that belle attempted to be reborn into when she was a child, out of external pressure from the family. belle was adopted but unaccepted as herself, so the 'tiara' identity was born out of a need to assimilate, desiring acceptance. rainer is the person who initially attempted to aid in this process, probably the one who suggested it to her due his familiarity with rebirth, but that obviously didn't turn out well. hence the infamous FUCK-FUCK-FUCK save file.

upon realizing how over his head he was, rainer tried to reverse the damage, though his control over the situation was a lot more limited than he wanted it to be. there wasn't anything he could do to make the family accept her, and there wasn't anything he could do to 'fix' her. he definitely seemed frustrated by it—with belle, with himself, with everything else happening around him, really—hence how everything he says in petscop 12 is written with a strange, almost singsong sort of derision towards belle, and, though less directly, himself. this is basically rainer at his lowest, right before his suicide, with many allusions to his forthcoming death written in the same mocking tone.

after rainer's death, belle was left in a sort of liminal state of existence—transitory purgatory. she failed to become tiara because she couldn't finish the process; half-formed, unable to emerge from her 'egg', she sort of became... softlocked. she was clearly still attached to attaining this identity in some way, hence her absurd time spent running petscop starting around 2000, after rainer's death. the game is the last remnant of tiara, and of rainer, so she keeps it close to keep both alive.

while paul and rainer's transformations are sorta linear (care -> paul / daniel -> rainer), belle's process is more like belle -> tiara -> belle. her pressure to assimilate definitely parallels care's story, in which care rejects the identity forced on her (with marvin believing/wanting her to be the reincarnation of lina) and instead becomes paul. but unlike paul, belle never becomes someone else; in the end, she's still belle. comparatively, it almost looks like stagnation—or worse, regression. on further inspection, however, that is anything but the case. as a child, belle sought to become tiara only out of a need to be accepted by her (frankly awful) family. though as we see her in the present, as an adult, she seems quite distant from this identity. paul definitely doesn't refer to belle as tiara; if my memory isn't failing me, i believe paul initially doesn't even make a connection between tiara and belle? if he's unfamiliar with the name, it serves to show that 'tiara' as a concept is very much trapped within the world of the game, stuck in 1996, no longer truly representative of the present in which paul plays the game. belle seems much happier to be part of the 'family' that paul proposes at the end of the soundtrack video, where she's his sister simply because paul loves her no matter who she is—same with the contents of the 'new life letter' written by lina. it's that unconditional acceptance that allows her to be belle, and not tiara. so her process was more like belle -> tiara -> BELLE.

honestly though i don't think i could summarize belle's situation nearly as well as this really good analysis of her. it examines her as a character and her circumstances pretty much exactly how i see it, so i highly recommend reading that if you want to get a better understanding of her.

that being said, if you want MY personal opinion on belle... i simply think she's the best. the fact that paul calls her a puzzle genius and her extensive knowledge of petscop's abstruse features like the phonetic writing system just delights me. i think she'd be insane at tetris. also i think her sprites with the eyes are completely hilarious and the entire scene of her aggressively signaling paul to look right is just like, the best scene in the entire series actually. in conclusion: petscop kid VERY epic.

^ look at her. looking.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

2 & 13 for the writing asks!

Hey! Thanks for the ask! (From this writers ask game)

2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?

I self-identify as more of a Plantser. I delve in both, understand both, practice both.

I used to be more of a Pantser, but I lean more toward Plotter/Planner. It's helped me so much to have an outline, to do background world building, to plan a chapter before I write it. I do, however, need to write to figure some things out. I also do the world building as needed sometimes. Same goes for characters.

So yeah, bit of both, but I've shifted over time.

13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Hm, this seems tricky. My writing process is very strange. I'm still polishing.

Linked in my pinned post on TSP is the backstory of how I got to where I am. It's hard to explain, but I'll try.

I got the idea for TSP from this story I acted out with my stuffed animals when I was young. I don't know why 10 y/o me decided to write an adaptation of this for a school project, but I became obsessed with it. I rewrote it multiple times, staying in each version for a while, revising as I went, until I settled on something that was finally close to what it is today at around 14.

I rewrote it because I got stuck and didn't plan. I didn't have a lot of this draft planned, but I did start to develop one as I went on. This version of TSP lasted a while until I realized I needed to massively overhaul it. Change the timeline, add about half a book of new content, cut unnecessary things, focus more on characters, etc. I started over again.

Throughout this draft, I've taken multiple breaks of overhauling one key aspect. Characters were huge. I needed to make everyone distinct, so I focused on personality, emotions, how they express that, etc. Every time I think of a new thing each character should have, I focused on that for a while. I am currently working on world building the magic system, which will take a while.

I have gone through TSP multiple times, rereading for specific revisions, like character ticks or using Ctrl+F for unnecessary words and phrasing. Last time I was revising I got stuck, so that's why I've decided to world build.

My process of outlining now is quite complicated. I have a master "brainstorming document" as I call it. I have it more organized now though. Sections where I make broad comments on characters and their dynamics, plot ideas for various story threads organized by the part they're in, notes on revision ideas, etc. I also made a brief outline for Part Two listing all the chapters I need to make happen.

I then take those vague outlines and focus more on what I need for the entirety of Part Two. I cross-reference them with my brainstorming ideas to pair together characters and scene ideas. As each chapter comes up, I look at what I have and expand even more on what needs to happen in this chapter. As I go on, I note when I can cut a chapter from the outline because it turns out it became unnecessary. Changing the outline is not a big deal for me at all. I had an idea, but part of writing is the discovery, hence why I'm part Pantser.

When this draft of Part Two is complete, I'll do similar revision sweeps as I did with Part One. I also am writing down ideas for revisions as I go. Sometimes, if something is small, I'll go back and change something immediately. If it's a little bigger, I tend to wait to revise it.

Now Part One is in beta reading stages. What I do is I read over the comments the reader left me and think critically about each of them. What I'm doing right, what I need to work on. I take every comment seriously whenever they make a suggestion or criticism. Their word is not gospel, but their insight is important. I decide if I like their input, then implement it. Most of the time I do listen, at least partially, because a second opinion is always helpful.

Hope these were good answers :)

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

[shifuto]

giving this meme another spin

really digging this introverted/introverted energy I get from them and, well this is based on my current au (post-canon and post-Yuma), things changed a little hahaha

Astral changes A LOT because of Shark and their relationship - probably a more out-of-character Astral (but look at manga X anime Astral and tell me that's the same dude, it isn't huh?). Anyway, I'll discuss a little more in depth at the end of this post, meanwhile..

I'll go fetch my tags from yesterday:

this newfound obsession with this ship (Astral/Ryoga) started last year and it was not a coincidence at all, what surprised me was the fact that Astral/Yuma wasn't a ship I thought I'd part with or change like I did but this is precisely it: I changed Ryoga and Astral are similar - that is kind of the point - that relationship feels harmonious and mature in my head. They're not the same. They're not bound by things like “destiny” or because they're “soulmates” or incomplete halves that make one whole, they are whole individuals (there's some headcanons about this I will explore regarding Astral) by themselves the thing that gets me is the circumstances in which they grow closer to each other: pain and loss Yuma and Astral make a wonderful ship. That's not up to debate. They didn't have a choice though: they must exist together Astral and Ryoga is something deliberate (and liberating at that) it's not that I came to dislike one over the other but just that I needed something else. I'm all about autonomy (of course this also solves the issue with another of my favs III and his unrequited love. I guess in the end no one loses and I'm happy) it's funny to see how much I changed and matured in this last year through the lenses of shipping but here we are. It's fun and real. I'm so very glad I changed. I always do (not always for the best but this time I do believe it is a good change)

there's still more I want to add!

before, Astral was an "extension" of Yuma (or rather, half of Yuma, and Yuma was half of him), a weapon from Astral World and the mythical hero "Zexal"

this Astral I'm putting together with Ryoga is a "man" (hence why he's slightly less agender now)

this Astral is "whole" (I'll have to explain this eventually, whenever I stop to put my thoughts in order that is) and his "role" now is to live his own life as he pleases (of course, still aiding Astral World etc..)

this Astral is more "human", he's darker and more mature too and, although he still doesn't show his emotions much, he does have them (unlike before) and he's able to identify them better now

well, the gist of it (in the beginning at least) is that they're licking each other's wounds, processing their heartbreak, pain and loss.. then some budding feelings start to bloom

the interactions (romance, sex, etc) will be very different because of how much Astral is changed, there will be a lot of tension and attrition, but the kind that connects and strengthen (if that makes any sense?)

I guess I didn't need to do much for Ryoga at all, since his personality and features are pretty much set in canon. It's pretty damn obvious he's in love with Yuma and I just had to play with that: he can't be with Yuma, so what now? If I remove IV/Thomas from the equation altogether (because in this headcanon they would be more like fuck buddies if they were to stay together) how to proceed with Ryoga? He likes Astral and considers him his friend because he likes and is friends with Yuma (and Yuma and Astral are the same guy also), so how to cause the shift and make Ryoga and Astral happen?

little bit of spoilers: Ryoga confesses first. He falls for Astral first

that flips a switch in Astral's mind

something something his bond with Yuma is still strong and the same, AND he is capable of bonding with other people too. He just didn't know or cared enough to bother

so.... that's where things might start getting out-of-character (but I don't really care that much to be honest?????). Unlike his relationship with Yuma, Astral's relationship with Ryoga will come full of intensity

and there's more to explore, you'll see.....

[lizzybeth1986]

HLAW Day 6: Throwback

On this appreciation day I thought it would only be fitting that I posted the first ever Hana Lee fic I did, With A Little Help From My Friends. The story is in two parts, and while the first part is popular the second has one of my favourite lines of Hana's!

(@shazrystyles made this gorgeous art piece for the fic at least three years ago 💖💖)

This is Part 1, where Hana and Liam bond over music. And this is Part 2, where they bond over the woman they both love.

1. What about this character inspired you to create this piece?

Halfway through my first serious playthrough of TRR1 (a little after the book had ended), I became very fascinated with Hana as a character and found her extremely relatable. I bought as many scenes as I could. Some of my Liam stan friends at the time confessed they didn't know or understand her that well, so I wrote this fanfic because I really wanted them to see what I saw 💕

Also it struck me that Hana had a goodbye moment with all of the main group in her finale scene...except Liam. So what was the thing they could both do that they could enjoy together?? Music, of course!

2. What was your process like?

My process for fic is usually very linear...I HAVE to know the opening before I can write anything. Which I did for this one too. I knew I was going to start the fic with a heartbroken Hana hammering away on the piano, alone 😭 and from there I was able to let the story take its course.

And because PB never showed us Hana's gift, I needed to write it in myself so I spent some amount of time researching places where you could get dizi flutes in China (by the time I wrote Part 2, the first few chapters of TRR2 had already been out).

3. What part of creating this piece brought you the most joy?

Part 1: DEFINATELY Hana and Liam jamming together! Most of the fic had a lot of sadness and tension, so I loved ending it on this bittersweet note.

Part 2: Both Hana and Liam's final lines (the one she says about confessing to Esther and the one he says about her bravery) before they return to the ballroom.

4. Are there differences between the way you make content for this character, and the way they are depicted in canon/fan content? If so, why?

Like a lot of my friends, I tend to have elaborate backstories for her coz many of us felt that was something she was robbed of in canon. We also like to put her in the center of some of our stories coz she is amazing as a character and deserves more love than she actually gets, and because unfortunately she sometimes tends to get erased in fan content too. So it's important for us to center her needs and perspective in fics about her.

5. Did you have a playlist to get you into the mood for creating? If so, what kind of songs?

A Lot of Queen 😄😄 I was (still am!) a huge Queen fan, hence the song I finally selected for Liam & Hana's jamming session.

--

Doing a Day 6 fic for Hana now, but if I'm not able to put that up I hope at least this is out there!

[burningthetree]

1, safe and warm for 5, 10, 34 (or really your favorite thing about your style), and 45 for the fic questions!!

much love 💖

Evie!! I'm booping your nose right back <3

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work?

I think either one of my Sakuatsu one-shots or my longer Sakuatsu fic. I wouldn't recommend the Bokuaka one because it's MCD and also incredibly long. If you like MCD, then by all means, go ahead with the Bokuaka one. Otherwise safe and warm.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about safe and warm?

I put a lot of thought into the character constellations. I struggled a lot at first choosing which characters to write about – I had the idea for the plot, I knew I wanted to write the story, but I had like…I think nine or ten different character constellations for it and I couldn't decide, until I ultimately settled on Sakuatsu + Kuroo (with Iwaizumi and Ushijima as the side characters/antagonists (more or less)). For our main trio, I mainly connected them to their school banners (Atsumu -> we don’t need the memories, nasty of me considering he has amnesia lol, Kuroo -> connect, Sakusa -> effort; and this all neatly connects with their motives and actions in the story), as well as some canon elements (like Sakusa thinking that Kuroo looks like a con-man, so I made him a con-man because it fits his character best). For Iwaoi, I thought that love would be a great motivation, and for Ushijima, he just has a vendetta against Oikawa which is a fun play with canon. There’s going to be more characters but I’m not going to spoil it, but I spent at least two weeks on constructing the characters like this until I was satisfied with it lol

10. How do you decide what to write?

It’s always very much dependent on my mood. Like I need to be in the mood for a certain story in order to actually make progress on it, otherwise it’ll just be extremely frustrating (hence why I often have multiple stories ongoing at the same time). I also never write out of order for a story, so I go pretty much chronologically safe for a few dialogues that might come up at a later point, but never a fully fleshed-out scene. So if I’m in the mood for the next scene in a fic, I’ll write that. If not, I’ll write something else, and if need be, start a one-shot that I may or may not end up posting

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

I draw a lot of emotion from real life because it makes it much easier to write certain scenes. Like, if there’s a highly emotional scene (there were plenty in forget me not), I will connect it to something I had to go through irl and relate it to how I felt in that situation to make the writing process of describing those intricate and delicate emotions as best and relatable, and realistic most of all, as possible. That also leads to me massively projecting sometimes and trauma dumping in my writing but no one will ever really know for sure what is fiction and what isn’t lol

As for my favourite thing about my style, I use alliteration a lot because it makes me ridiculously happy, or any other literary devices like metaphors or similes or asyndetons/polysyndetons, all these kinds of things to convey subtle meaning through language use that I am absolutely obsessed with because of studying linguistics. So maybe that’s my favourite thing.

45. What's something you've improved on since you started writing fic?

I started writing fic when I was ten, so…almost 13 years ago so there’s a LOT that I’ve improved on because obviously age makes a huge difference. I got better at understanding the characters and their ideals and I also got a better grasp on canon, which (I think so at least) gives me the ability to write the different relationships better and draw out the scenes/story a lot more than I was able a couple of years back. I also used to write on a very irregular basis, and I am now actively trying to write every day or at least take notes on my stories each day so I don’t distance myself from it too much if life gets busy. Something I also learned is to properly draft and outline my ideas to assure that massive writer’s block doesn’t happen (it still does, sometimes, but not as bad as before).