#i never actually sat down and explain why I pissed and uncomfortable fully because I was waiting for yoonie to response to me

[wheeier]

no taking back

summary: it was only fun and games. but steve had other plans.

warnings: modern au, tooth-rotting fluff i guess, little but of swearing

+ olivia rodrigo’s sour album (stream besties), the movie tangled at the end because it just radiates as a comfort movie

yes a modern au !!! i just saw this on tiktok (the sour part, but the rest was my idea!) and thought it was so cute so it gave me an idea to make it as a fic, enjoy !!!

steve harrington x fem!reader

olivia rodrigo’s new album just released and you were thrilled to listen to it and stream it the whole day.

when you finally got to listen to it, you asked your friends—robin, nancy, and the party, if they listened to it and which ones were their favorites.

robin told you that her top three were hope ur ok, jealousy, jealousy, and brutal.

nancy said she really loved favorite crime.

max said hers was also brutal.

el told you that she played good 4 u and traitor on repeat that hopper had to go into her room to turn it down.

when mike comes over to the cabin he can assure that el does indeed play them on repeat and get pissy about it (but he secretly loves the album, but he wouldn’t let her or anyone know that).

and lastly lucas and dustin are fans of deja vu and 1 step forward 3 steps back. max even told you that they would sing the bridge of deja vu on the top of their lungs.

you slightly laughed at the memory of them telling you about it.

however, there’s one more person that you haven’t talked to about it yet.

steve.

your smile faltered and faded when he came across in your mind.

your feelings for him had deepened over the time and listening to the sour album made it feel like you two had broken up, which in fact, is not true because you were never together in the first place.

suddenly, an idea popped in your head. instead of being sad about steve, you thought about texting him, although it’s almost 1AM, you knew he’d still be up.

Sailor Man

You: hey

You: u up?

Sailor Man: duh

Sailor Man: this has been our nightly routine u always bother me when i’m about to go to sleep

You: fuck off

You: don’t pretend that you’re not binge watching outer banks until 4am

Sailor Man: i’m not?!?

You: yeah right

You: anyways

You: can u do me a favor

Sailor Man: will i get free pizza afterwards

You: no

Sailor Man: k

You: what the fuck

You: fine

Sailor Man: hehe

Sailor Man: what’s the favor ;)

You: dont get me started with that winky face i swear ure so dead when i see you at the wheeler’s house tomorrow

You: have you listened to olivia rodrigo’s new album

Sailor Man: ohh the bitter album?

You: ITS SOUR DUMBASS

Sailor Man: I DONT KNOW?!?

You: I CANT DO THIS HJAGSK

Sailor Man: shut up

Sailor Man: i’ve heard some of the songs but i haven’t fully listened to them

Sailor Man: why

You: can you like

You: ask me to be ur girlfriend then break up with me right after so i can experience and actually feel the whole sour album

Sailor Man: what

You: just do it !!

Sailor Man: you’re so funny (y/n/n)

Sailor Man: okay

Sailor Man: will you be my girlfriend?

You: yes !!!

You: ...

You: hello

You: dont tell me u fell asleep

Sailor Man: i’m not doing the last part you might as well forget about it

You: wjat

Sailor Man: :D

You: wtf

You: okay steve cut it out i’m not doing this anymore u’re not funny

Sailor Man: nope

Sailor Man: go to sleep we’re dating now that’s how this works

Sailor Man: okay i dont know if you’re still reading this now and i am terrified to say this to you in person like TERRIFIED. might piss my pants if i did. so (y/n/n), my favorite dumbass, my favorite person to talk to at night even if it interrupts my binge watching marathon, you make me so happy to the point that even when i sleep you’re still in my dreams. i like you. i have like the biggest fattest crush on you. and thank you for doing that sour album thing or whatever, because of that i get to finally ask you out

you rolled on your back after you read the message, facing the ceiling as your mind processed what just happened. was he playing with you? was he actually serious about asking you out?

Incoming video call...

Sailor Man

you took a deep breath before tapping the green button and placing it back down on the bed.

“hey,” you can tell that he was tired based on his voice. “can you show your face, please? i miss you.”

ignoring the butterflies in your stomach, you hesitantly lifted the phone and shifted your position to lay on your side. “hey.”

“hey yourself.” steve grins. that stupid grin that makes your stomach turn, that grin you always want to see everyday.

“what’s..up?” you avoided looking at him and started to admire your surroundings and the posters placed on your wall. this was the only time you were glad you weren’t with him in person.

“i just wanted to see if you’re okay.” of course he will ask that. he's steve. he cares about other more than himself.

“i am, thanks.” you showed a smile that doesn't reach your ears and steve knew something was bothering you. “hey, look. i'm sorry about my confession- if it made you uncomfortable i'm sorry-”

“no,” you cut him off, looking back at his face on the screen. “i’m fine, really. you don't have to apologize. i was just, surprised.”

there was silence between the two of you for a few seconds, before you spoke again. “did you mean it?” you voice was only above whisper but steve managed to hear them. “of course,” he answered almost too quick, without any hesitation. “i've been trying to find the perfect opportunity and had been asking god for signs because i can't make a move myself-”

“asking god?” you chuckled and steve smiled hearing them, glad that he somehow lightened the mood. “well, more like begging.” he continues and you giggled.

once your laughter died you both fell into silence again. you still couldn’t believe that out of a fun joke, it would turn into a whole another situation. “so, um.. just so you know, i’m not mad, or upset, or anything. i really was just surprised. it felt like a dream because i didn’t know that you like me back and all i did was just supposed to be a fun joke but—”

“hold on, back?”

“what?”

“like you back. you said i like you back.” steve sat up on his bed and fixed his hair as his eyes widened. “i did...” you said slowly, not catching up.

“does that mean you..”

then it hit you. “oh, right. yeah. i- i like you..too.” you waited for his reaction and once you saw him smile you couldn’t stop yourself from doing the same.

“i knew it. and well, i guess that confirms it. we’re dating now. no taking back.” he smirks then laughs when your rolled your eyes. “don’t flatter yourself, harrington. i did not say shit.” you pointed your index finger on the screen, barely containing your giggles.

“based on your beautiful smile i think you don’t need to say it. i like you, and you like me. we’re dating.” steve gives you a teasing smile. you tried keeping your serious face but it won’t last longer so you finally smiled again. “alright, fine. no taking backs. we’re dating.” you said then laughed as he whisper-yelled ‘yes!’ while fist pumping the air.

he soon joined your laughter and you stayed like that until your jaw was pretty much in pain because of your smiles. when it was all quiet again, you both just admired each other’s presence through the screens of your phones. “i wish i was there with you.” he mumbles. “yeah, me too.” you hugged your cold pillow beside you, closing your eyes for a moment and imagining it as steve.

“are your parents home?”

you snorted at his random question. “i’m actually alone right now, they’re out because dad got promoted at his work so he and mom and i think a few friends went out to celebrate. they should be home by an hour or two. why?”

“nothing.” was all he said before hanging up. you were left confused but then he’s your best friend after all, so you knew right then and there that he’ll do something stupid. after you turned your phone off you suddenly felt watching a movie so you went to the kitchen to make some popcorn.

when it was finished and had been put in a bowl, that’s when you heard your doorbell rang—in a pattern which you recognize, and only one person does that.

you let out a quiet laugh when you realized who it was and set the bowl on the counter before opening the door.

“hi!” steve greeted you with a smile. “uh, hi?” you laughed nervously and stepped aside for him to go in. “i smell popcorn, are we having a movie night?” he says as he steps inside and shrugged off his jacket. “actually yeah, i’m planning on watching—”

“tangled.” he finishes off, you subconsciously smiled upon hearing your favorite movie. “how’d you know?”

steve snatches a few popcorns from the bowl as you both arrived in the kitchen. “(y/n), you have watched that movie 7 times this week and always gush to me about it.”

“well, you’re the only one that is around my age that i can talk to with that movie. robin and nancy aren’t that into it.” you replied, grabbing the bowl and making your way back to your bedroom, steve following your heels. “and you think i’m the best option to talk to about that?” he asks, plopping down on your bed and resting his back on the headboard.

“you’re not complaining.” you shrugged as you grabbed your laptop and sat beside steve.

“yeah, probably because i like you.” it came out of his mouth casually. you froze in place and felt your cheeks heat up, finally nodding your head slowly, “..probably.” as you typed in the movie in your laptop you felt steve scoot closer, making your breath hitch.

you were both in a comfortable silence while watching the movie, except for a few jokes and comments that steve makes and him explaining how similar he was to flynn rider.

“you know, since i’m eugene, you could be rapunzel.” he suddenly says. you eyes were still on the screen but your eyebrows furrowed. “why? i’m nothing like her.”

finally looking at steve, you almost screamed how he was already looking at you. “oh, you are so rapunzel. you may not have the longest hair in the world, but you are pretty much similar.” he replies, smiling and not taking his eyes off of you.

you paused the movie and shifted your body towards him, intrigued by his explaination. “how so?”

“well, first off,” steve starts, resting his hands on the soft mattress. “you’re both sweet, you’re both a huge ray of sunshine, have gorgeous eyes and smile, and eugene is head over heels over you — and since he doesn’t exist in real life, i’d like to be the substitute.” he finished with a confident smile.

after about three seconds, you burst out of laughter. you laughed. as much as he loves the sound of your laugh, he can’t help but pout. “(y/n), i’m trying to be sweet here!”

“i’m sorry!- it’s just- i can’t help but laugh at your flirting.” you managed to say between your laughs. you know he’s kidding but he looked at you like he was offended.

your laughter died down and held steve’s face. “it’s cute, sorry.” you mumble with a little laugh. when he finally smiled you turned to your laptop and continued the movie.

steve gazes at you for a few more seconds before watching the movie with you again. “thank you.” you whisper, glancing at him.

“you’re very much welcome, my rapunzel.” he says smiling before he slides a bit down on the bed so his head could reach your shoulder and rests it there.

you giggled as you heard him whisper,

“thank you, olivia rodrigo.”

[abarbaricyalp]

hi. you still taking prompts? sambucky meet cute: the lobby of some kind of really tall building and they both have to get to the to top floors. bucky gets to the elevator first, pushes the "door close" button cause he's in a hurry even though he sees sam rushing towards it, but sam gets there just in time. he saw what bucky did so in retaliation he just pushes every single button to make bucky late. now they're stuck in the longest elevator ride, having to stop at every floor

Friend, this is not a meet cute. This is full on meet ugly 😅

AO3 link in the reblog

Push All My Buttons

Bucky was being haunted. That was the only logical explanation for how someone followed him from Brooklyn to Manhattan, mostly on foot. He’d seen the same guy on two trains, across approximately a thousand city blocks, and in the dumb cafe that Bucky squeezed into five seconds after it opened.

And now, the same handsome young black man was standing in the middle of the Stark Tower lobby, looking lost. Bucky quickly hit the close door button of the elevator that he blessedly had to himself. Apparently, he hit it too loud because the guy’s gaze snapped over to him and recognition lit on his face.

Bucky hit Close Door again.

“Hey! Could you hold that!” the guy called, jogging across the lobby floor and avoiding milling people. The fucking tourists on the ground level were killer.

Bucky was not letting a stalker into the elevator with him when he had 91 floors to get up. He hit Close Door for a third time.

Finally, the guy seemed to realize what Bucky was doing and he scowled before tossing his army bag towards the closing doors. They hit the bag and opened up just in time for the guy to jog over, grab his bag, and step inside.

“You’re kind of an asshole,” he said as he slung the duffle over his shoulder again.

“I’m late to a meeting,” Bucky said, which was true. Mostly what he wanted to say was ‘don’t kill me and wear my face as a mask’ or whatever someone who’d followed him over three boroughs would want to do.

The man looked over at him from the corner of his eyes, looked at the highlighted 91 and then reached over to smooth his hand up every single button on the machine. 2-93 lit up.

Bucky stared.

The man crossed his arms. “Now we’re both late.”

92 and 93 unlit themselves. Those were Stark’s personal suites. 2-91 remained lit.

“You fucking asshole,” Bucky groaned and dragged his hands over his face. “Why would you do that? I’m meeting with Stark. I’ve got his-his-his fucking coffee. Jesus.”

“Because I’d rather be late and piss you off than be on time and let you get away with trying to close the door in my face.”

“What was the point of following me all the way around the city? Are you trying to make my life difficult?”

Now the man fully turned to look over at him. The elevator stopped on the second floor and no one was waiting. “I’m not following you. I don’t even know who you are.”

“Are you kidding?” Bucky asked. “You’ve been on my ass since Lloyd’s, in Brooklyn.”

The man frowned. The elevator eased up to the next floor. “Why would you stop at Lloyd’s if you were coming all the way in here?”

“I like to eat on my commute, that’s not the point! You followed me!”

“Pal, I dunno how to tell you that anyone coming from Brooklyn to Stark Tower’s gotta take a pretty similar route.”

“It’s Bucky, pal.”

“Sam,” the guy said and then honest to God offered his hand out like he wasn’t actively ruining Bucky’s life.

On the fifth floor, someone stepped into the elevator, looked at the buttons and stepped back out. Bucky shook Sam’s hand with a resigned sigh.

“Where’d you get that piece of machinery on your arm?” Sam asked around floor eight.

“It’s not on my arm,” Bucky answered. “It is my arm.”

Sam rolled his eyes and punched the door close button. “Fine, where’d you get that piece of machinery on your torso?”

“It’s not Stark tech,” he answered because he knew that was actually what Sam was asking about. He let his eyes slide over Sam’s body quickly, trying to discern if Sam was here for a prosthetic. The bag on his shoulder and the silver ball-chain around his neck gave away that he was military. Stark Industries had a veterans program, so there was a good population of soldiers walking around the building at any given time. Sam was wearing pants, so Bucky couldn’t be totally sure he didn’t have a bad leg, but he hadn’t clocked any limp or awkward gait since Brooklyn. “You here for a prosthetic?” he asked anyway.

Sam snorted and shook his head. The door opened again and someone got on before reaching to press the ground level button.

“Shit,” the woman said, upon seeing everything else lit up. She quickly hit the door open button and jumped back out. “You know, if you two wanted extra time together, having the doors open on every floor was probably a bad idea.”

“That’s not what we--” Bucky started to argue, but the doors slid shut in front of him.

“Anyway,” Sam started again. “I’m not here for a prosthetic. I’m here with Colonel Rhodes.”

“Wow, big man on campus,” Bucky said drily.

“Oh, right, you’re so unimportant, going up to the 91st floor,” Sam shot back.

“I work here,” Bucky said. He held up the quickly cooling coffee in his hands. “Glorified secretary most days, but I’m supposed to be an engineer.”

“What kind of machines do you work with?”

“Not the planes or the suits. Military tech, mostly. I try to stay away from weapons when I can.”

“Did you serve?” Sam asked.

Wish I hadn’t, Bucky wanted to say. “Nah, actually I lost my arm when Stark flew into an uncaffeinated rage and threw a saw at me.”

“Whatever, man. There’s a thousand ways to lose an arm. It ain’t gotta be out in the desert.” His cheeks didn’t quite color, but he crossed his arms and stared ahead.

“Mountains,” Bucky corrected. “Special OPs.”

“Oh, right, but I’m the big man on campus,” Sam said, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

“Rhodes is a big deal around here. You think Stark’s letting him out of his sight for just anyone?”

“The Air Force is testing a new gadget. Rhodes is involved ‘cause Air Force. Maybe you worked on it.”

“Yeah, maybe. It’s a big program. Stark’s got a lot of things going on all at once. Lots of engineers and designers.”

The elevator stopped on the 25th floor and Sam and Bucky both said, “We’re going up,” at the same time to keep the group of suits from crowding into the elevator with them.

Sam kicked his bag into the corner and sat down heavily in front of it, leaning back and closing his eyes. “So you’re a soldier who works for Stark Industries but didn’t get your prosthetic from him, even though he’s the cutting edge of prosthetics and has a full-paid program for those injured in duty.”

Bucky gave up and sat down too. He cradled the coffee cup between his legs, which was probably a bad idea, but this whole morning had been bad. “My story’s a little more complicated than that,” he said. “A lot more twists and turns. My arm is still high tech, though. I asked for a flamethrower, or at least a saw hand but I didn’t get it.”

Sam laughed and, for the first time all morning, Bucky thought maybe he wasn’t so angry at him anymore. Sam laughed like nothing had ever hurt him before, which made it feel like maybe nothing had hurt Bucky either. “Well, there’s your problem. Stark would’ve definitely given you that, from what I hear about the man.”

Bucky grinned over at him and dropped his head back against the wall. It was uncomfortable and the jostling of the car every few seconds rattled his brain, but it beat standing up, or keeping his eyes on Sam for too long. “You’re still in the service?”

“Well, not all of us are so lucky to get a medical discharge on our first tour.”

“Oh, yeah, real luck of the Irish, me. And it was my second. I wasn’t SpecOps until I finished my first stint in the army.”

“Right, right,” Sam said. Then, “You joined up young.”

“So did you. I mean, I assume you’re on your second or third tour too, if you’re being asked to work with Rhodes.”

“Second. I took a long leave to do some school stuff.”

“Oh, so working with Rhodes and you’re smart. You really are the whole package.”

“I’m working with Colonel Rhodes because I’m smart,” Sam corrected. “I could probably take your job. I’m real techy.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t. I’m fond of my apartment and I definitely can’t afford it without being here.”

“Right, I assume you make buck working for Stark.”

“Eh, he’s still a multi-billionaire, he could pay us more.”

“What’s that say about the military then?”

“I’ll drink to that, bro.”

Sam chuckled again and opened his eyes to glance over at Bucky. “How does someone go from losing their arm in a SpecOps mission to working for Stark Industries.”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. It’s at least a three course discussion.”

The elevator dinged on level 39 and paused, though there was no one there.

“Almost halfway up,” Sam pointed out.

“You are good at math,” Bucky joked just to see Sam roll his eyes again, which he did. “Why Air Force?” he asked when the doors decided to shut again.

“It’s gonna sound so stupid, but I’ve been dreaming about flying since I was a little kid. I wanted to be an astronaut and a lot of astronauts were in the military. So, air force. Figured if I never got to space, at least I spent years in the air anyway.”

Bucky didn’t think that was stupid at all. “You’re right, that’s pretty dumb.” Sam flipped him off with a laugh. “Are you a good pilot?”

“Pal, I’m one of the best out there.”

“God, you chair force guys are all the same,” Bucky said. He squawked as Sam leaned over to tackle him down. “Coffee, coffee! Sam, if you spill Stark’s coffee I’ll make you explain it to him!” he threatened as Sam pulled him away from the cup that had managed to remain upright by an unlikely bout of luck and physics.

Sam was fucking strong, wrangling Bucky down and holding him still. Sure, he was on his knees and Bucky’s legs were mostly trapped under him, but still. Bucky wasn’t a small guy and the prosthetic wasn’t light either but Sam had tugged him out of the corner anyway.

“Oh my God, seriously?” a guy asked on the next floor.

Bucky took the moment of distraction to dig his knee into Sam’s ribs and flip them over as the doors shut again. He locked his fingers around Sam’s wrist and held it to the floor. Sam tugged at the hold futilely.

“Shit, what’s that made out of?”

“That’s another three course answer.”

“At this rate? No chance,” Sam said and got his foot braced against Bucky’s shoulder before shoving him off. Bucky sat back and made sure the coffee was still standing. Sam leaned up against the wall by the doors. They both took in heavy breaths.

“What are you doing with Rhodes?” Bucky asked at floor fifty, when he was pretty positive they weren’t about to leap at each other again.

“Maybe that’s a three course answer,” Sam responded with a small smirk.

“I didn’t know Stark was working on planes with the Air Force.”

“Did I say plane?”

“Helicopters, whatever,” Bucky amended with a wave of his hand. “What do you fly?”

“I’m pararescue.”

Bucky let out a low whistle. “Shit, that’s more impressive than working with Rhodes, maybe. You a doctor?”

“I’ve got triage training, but I’m not, like, ready to walk into an E.R. as soon as I get home or anything.” Sam ran his hand over his buzzed hair and Bucky suddenly wanted to know what it looked like grown out, or if he’d ever kept it long. How he styled it and if he had facial hair and what he was hiding under his shirt and Jesus Christ, he needed to think about anything else.

“Well, from what I’ve seen, your beside manner probably sucks.”

Sam kicked out his foot lamely, missing Bucky’s by a mile. “You ain’t hurt. I don’t gotta give you no bedside manner.”

“What floor do you want off on?” Bucky asked after a glance at the rapidly dimming lights on on the button panel.

“85.”

“Right, yeah, Rhodes works there. We’re at 70 now.”

“What’s it like? Just offices?”

“Nah, he’s got a whole training floor. There’re a few offices, a reception area, but there’s also a gym and some space for simulated battle, sparring rooms. It’s pretty cool. You’ll have a lot of room for whatever he’s doing.”

Sam nodded and looked over at the gaping doors with the first look of unease he’d had all morning.

“You nervous?”

“You would be too,” Sam answered. “If you knew what I was doing. But, hey,” he looked away as the doors shut, “my partner’s already up there, so I can’t make any more of a fool of myself than he probably already has.”

Bucky grinned and shrugged. “I dunno about that. You seem pretty incapable,” he said sarcastically.

Sam kicked out his leg again and then stood up and grabbed his bag from next to Bucky. “You work here every day?”

Bucky nodded and took Sam’s hand when he offered it down to him to haul himself up. “9 to too late.”

“Well, I’m around for a few weeks. Maybe we could walk together instead of around each other next time,” he suggested.

Bucky ignored the swooping of his stomach. “Yeah, if you can keep up.”

Sam jostled his ribs with an elbow. “I can keep up. You’re the one with the machine on your arm.”

“Yeah, and what about it? I could hand-walk faster than you could run.”

“Oh, I doubt that,” Sam snorted. The door opened on floor 80 and Sam’s mouth screwed to one side briefly before he looked at Bucky. “Maybe you’ll get my number out of all of this eventually.”

“Maybe I don’t want it after this stunt.”

Sam placed his hand on Bucky’s metal shoulder solemnly. “You want it.”

With a grin, Bucky shrugged Sam off and shoved him forward. “Get outta here, Wilson.”

“How’d you know--?” Sam asked, taking half a step back to the doors.

Bucky reached over to trace his fingers over the name patch on the other side of the bag. “I’m just a good guesser.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. What’s your--”

The door shut between them and Bucky sagged back against the wall with a sigh. His heart was racing like he was a teenager again and his head felt cloudy. This meeting was not going to go well at this point. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to focus on anything but Sam’s smile or the way he looked in boots or the weight of him above Bucky’s body.

When the elevator dinged on 91, he grabbed Stark’s coffee and let himself off and then almost immediately ran into Rhodes.

“Oh, hey, sorry. Hey, I was just on the elevator with your meeting,” he said. “Sorry he’s late. I hit a bunch of buttons on accident when I got in,” Bucky lied as he passed the coffee to Stark.

“No harm, no foul,” Rhodey said easily. “Clearly I wasn’t even down there. I was actually waiting on you.”

“Me? What for? I’m not working on anything military.”

“You’re not?” Stark asked around a mouthful of coffee. “You assigning yourself projects now?”

“You didn’t say anything about the wings being military. I mean, how would that even work? It’d put a soldier in the air bare.”

“Yeah,” Stark agreed sarcastically and clapped a hand down on Bucky’s metal arm. “What kind of soldier runs around without full body protection.”

“What are you calling the project?” Rhodey asked, guiding the discussion back to where it was supposed to be.

“EXO-Falcon,” Bucky said. “I was modeling it after some of Stark’s EXO-skeleton suits, but it’s much more compact, situated on the back with all support sitting around the chest and ribs.”

Rhodey nodded. “Can I see them?”

Bucky quickly dashed to his work bench and came back with the wings in their case. “They’re carbon fiber, which makes them a little more flexible and keeps them a little lighter weight. I had thought about doing interlocking plates like my arm, but it wasn’t working. I took some of the more basic structures of my arm and modeled a folding mechanism out of it instead. The wings retract into and out of the case.”

He pulled the jetpack on and stepped away from the other work spaces before clicking the wings open. They snapped out behind him, grand and proud. Not unlike how Bucky was feeling at that moment.

“And the jetpack? Is that ready to go?” Rhodey asked.

Bucky shifted from foot to foot. “Well, in theory. I haven’t tested it out yet ‘cause I’m not trained to do things like that, but I’ve put DUM-E into the air and nothing blew up.”

“Well, the Air National Guard guys here today will be thrilled to hear that,” Stark said. “Shall we?”

“You don’t wanna test the jets before you put it on someone?” Bucky asked, a little strangled. He trusted his design. But he really, really hadn’t put as much time into the whole human safety element as he did the ‘up and running’ element.

“We’ll strap a crash test dummy to them in over the mats. It’ll be fine. The fire suppression system on 85 is better than up here.”

“No it isn’t. It’s just further from your suites,” Rhodey said.

Stark shrugged and tossed a piece of pastry in his mouth. “It’s my building. I say we go down to 85.”

“Well, that’s where I left your trainee or whatever too,” Bucky said as he shrugged off the pack and packed it all back up. “Do you want me to grab the other pack?”

“No worries, I’ve already moved it,” Stark said. “I knew Rhodes was coming by. You’re welcome, those things are heavy.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t have DUM-E move it,” Rhodey teased. He made his way over to the elevator and Bucky followed with Stark on his heels. The ride down to 85 was much faster than the ride up to 91. It was a miracle what not hitting every button could do. They stepped out onto the floor and made their way to the training mats, where two other people were already standing.

“Barnes, I’d like to keep you on the Falcon project,” Rhodey said. “No one knows the wings like you do. That being said, you’ll be working with live test subjects now, so it’s a little more critical.”

“Hey, you don’t have to say it that way!” the blond man in the middle of the room said. “Call us, like, Top Guns or something.”

“You don’t get to choose your nickname around here,” Stark called over, propping himself up on a stack of sparring mats to watch from afar. “Ask Manchurian Candidate. He definitely didn’t choose his.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Barnes, this Sergeant Wiatrek and Sergeant Wilson.”

Fuck.

“It’s Barnes, huh?” Sam asked, smugly crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh, Sammy, you didn’t hook up with this guy already did you?” the blond asked in teasing horror.

“Screw you, no. I met him this morning.”

“Ah,” Rhodey said with a grin. “This was the meeting you made late,” he said to Bucky.

“Yeah, we met this morning,” Bucky confirmed with a raging blush. How was this his life?

“Well, good, you can get right to work on the wings,” Rhodey said. “Let me go find a crash dummy.”

“DUM-E,” Stark called as Rhodey started away.

“I’ll find that doll first,” Rhodey challenged.

Bucky turned from their bickering and looked at Sam, then the blond next to him.

“It’s Riley,” the other man said and offered out his hand. “I’m better conversation than this one.”

Bucky doubted it. He shook the guy’s hand and then held out the briefcase like a shield between him and Sam’s teasing gaze. “Do you wanna see the wings?”

Riley nodded eagerly and Bucky moved to another stack of mats to open the case. Riley and Sam stood on either side of him. As Riley pulled the jetpack free, Sam pulled out his phone. Bucky thought he was going to film his friend inevitably crashing, but instead he turned on the auto-help.

“Hey, where’s the nearest three-course restaurant?” he asked without looking away from Bucky, without his grin faltering.

Bucky dragged his hands down his face as he looked at Sam. Riley yelped behind them after the tell-tell whoosh of the jet pack, but Sam still didn’t look away. Bucky couldn’t either.

[beann-e]

Arranged Marriages With Stoic Guys

female pronouns used for this one !

“ y/n you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to “

“ are you stupid of course I have to “ you snapped at your father who stood hovering over you a slight smirk on his face “ eh thought you’d want to hear what you wanna hear “

you scoffed trying to push his arm off your shoulders this was all stupid you didn’t want to do any of this

“ honestly i’m doing what’s best for you y/n you need this — we need this “ he sighed “ I mean don’t you want to help your family and yourself think about how well set up you’ll be “his eyes went stone on yours “ you need this “

you flinched at the way his sureness slipped into his tone there was no way you were gonna get out of this “ no you need this there is no we right now “

his face hardened as he held out his arm for you to grab “ shut up and grab my arm “

“ i’m not going out there with you “

“ yes “ his voice was threatening and quiet “ you are “

“ I said im no— “

“ look you’ve been weighing this family down for years yet, we’ve said nothing— and now you finally have the chance to help us — to show you belong in this world and you won’t ? are you serious “

His face flew up into a look of annoyance “ you have no other purpose than to help us that is why you were born to be shoved into a family rich enough to secure your own and your families needs and now you mean to tell me you don’t want to do what you were created for “

your mouth snapped shut at his claims

“ are you that disgusting that you can’t even help your family “

you felt your body go cold as he continued to press into you

“ you preach how we’re the bad people yet you do evil shit like this“

he scoffed looking down on you “ i feel nothing but pure disgust to even have to go out there and call you my daughter “

he shook his head in disappointment before putting his arm out for you to grab again “ grab it “ his voice raised “ and you better go out there and put on that glorious look of innocence his father liked “

you gulped as he directed you quickly out the doors and draped the piece of fabric that you wore on your head. Placing it over your eyes and walking you down the aisle that had been so beautifully decorated

you were suppose to be getting married today not that you wanted to but, you had to.

you were the only girl in a family full of knuckle headed boys who just weren’t smart enough for an arranged marriage.

This was your fourth time being close enough to being married off though you hated the other 2 there was one that stuck out to you and that was number three

Your third boyfriend was one your family never liked they saw him as disgusting, vile, and too dirty with his language.

To you he was caring and open and rarely ever talked too harshly to you as long as you managed to never piss him off. You were happy with him and he was the only one you could ever see yourself settling down with until he told you He would take care of you and only you.

That was the nail in the coffin when you brought him over to dinner one night and out of the blue he spoke loudly so everyone could hear him “ look — with this whole marriage thing when I do marry your shitty daughter “

his eyes coming over to look at you and sending a look of reassurance your way making sure you knew he didn’t mean it. Them falling back to look at everyone around the dinner table who moved comfortably in their seats not caring how he talked to you as long as they would get to live lavish

“ i’m not taking care of you guys “ he scooped up the leftover food on his plate “ i’m only going out of the way for her and her only — the rest of you are on your own “

he shoveled the food in his mouth speaking carefully and making sure to watch his words knowing how serious he had to be with them in order for him to be heard by your parents “ you guys are using her for money and I don’t like that i’m not taking care of shitty parents and two brothers who act like they can’t even tell me how to spell yen “

him laughing and turning to your eldest brother a small smile on his face “ hey jerk face “

“ uh huh “ your brothers body wiggled in excitement to be acknowledged “ what’s up “

“ spell yen for me real quick “

“ babe don—“

“ shutup needa prove a point for your asshole parents “

“ hmmm “ your brother thought out loud as your other one jumped in the conversation “ hey dude what’s yen anyways “

your boyfriends mouth flying open as he slammed his hand on the table “ actually scratch that — i’m gonna pay for them both to go to elementary school and be two tall ass bodyguards that talk and say dumb shit like this to scare the kids into learning “

he pushed himself out of his chair kissing you softly before leaving the room. The door slamming as your father followed him anger swirling off his body at not only your boyfriends attitude for not wanting to help them but for coming in his house and making a fool of his family

you never got any of what your third boyfriend promised because he never got the opportunity to come back and your father made sure to have you cut off all contact with him.

So lucky you

free wedding , new guy

“ smile “ you felt your face do what you were told immediately as your feet shuffled down the aisle anyone could tell this was painful or at least anyone who actually knew you and not the 100 paid citizens of japan who sat in your wedding chairs

The guy you were marrying is a hero so, you can see how easy this is for him to pay for. He had to keep this little ordeal in the papers but only so, his father could stay relevant or at least that’s how they explained it to you no one explained that this was your e—

“ y/n“ your fathers voice was sharp “ take his hand“ you blinked finally realizing you were at the end of the carefully laid out carpet “ pay attention don’t make us look stupid “

you smiled carefully at the male before you dragged your foot stepping up and using his outstretched hand across from you “ thank—thank you “

it was silent which you immediately understood you knew he felt no need to talk to you ‘ maybe he’s not that into talking in public maybe he’s a private kind of person ‘

yeah he was so private that he said nothing but his I do’s and his occasional mhmm’s when you tried to get to know him with this continuing all night you never got to. This was all set up between his father and your own. you and him had no knowledge you were getting married today from what your father told you

“ so how— how is hero work “ you questioned as you two sat in the busy hall waiting for the doors to open up to allow people outside into the courtyard for pictures “ I hear you are one — a hero I mean “

you looked up to him as he faced forward his mouth making no attempt to move “ what really no it’s that hard ? “ you looked off speaking to yourself “ wouldnt think hero work could ever be hard“

“ did i just witness you ask and answer your own question “

your body shook as you felt heat rise up in your body your temperature high hands starting to feel sweaty “ oh uh “

“ if we have to get you checked for mental health problems i’d like to do so early “ he never broke his gaze from in front of him even when the doors opened “ I do not want to wake up with a knife to my chest or walk in on you talking to your imaginary friend after work “

you face dropped you understanding you were getting no where in communication with this man. You grabbed his outstretched hand and let him weave you carefully through the many people you didn’t know finally he stopped only to grip your hand tightly “ don’t move and wait quietly please“

you nodded your head as you watched him talk to the photographer guessing they were discussing where you were gonna take your pictures

“ hello there y/n “ you heard a booming voice say turning around only to bump square into a hard chest

“ or should I say daughter in law “ his voice scared you it was something about the way he was so sure of himself something felt wrong here

“ oh um do I— I know you “

“ of course you do “ he pointed to your new husband smiling “ you married my son an hour ago “

you shook your head uncomfortable with being left alone with now not only one person you didn’t know but also two plus a room full of people you couldn’t even name “ excuse me if I seem a bit “

“— lost , ditzy, bimbo like “

“ w-what bimbo? excuse me “

“ it’s ok as long as your quirk is as good as your father tells me I am fine with your intelligence level not being up to par my son is fully equipped with the knowledge to take care of a woman and provide like a man should “

“ I-“ you thought for a moment deciding on if you should go all out on the male that stood before you retracting into yourself when you thought of your father

“ oh y/n i know — it’s the bimbo tendencies? yeah here i’ll make it easier for you is there something you wanted to say“

you flinched at the statement smiling and presenting yourself happily as he smirked down on you ‘ he knows what hes doing ‘

“ no no nothing at all “ you said feeling his large hand pat you on your back “ good girl— get over there my sons kinda dense when it comes to talking to people “

you smiled to hold all the hostility in your voice “ yes i’ve seen so much of his density in our one hour together I find myself wondering how he can provide for me without proper communication skills “

the males eyebrow raising at your ability to speak back to an elder “ hmm he suffers with interaction due to lack of affection— childhood trauma as people your age like to say “

his smile tight and not fully reaching his ears “ I do expect that you’ll show him the proper amount of affection no matter if you got dragged into this or not “

you turned on your heel leaving the annoyed male to his own thoughts your hands coming up to interlock over your new ‘husbands’ shoulders “ hi shoto “

he bristled at your touch his shoulder moving to drop your hands as he pretended to stretch his arm in a small circle side eyeing you carefully alerting you to not touch him without permission again before he turned back to the male in front of him voice low “ I do not understand why I cannot take the photos the way I want to “

“ your father sai— “

“ their my spouse ? “ he was direct with everything he said “ it’s my wedding “

you could feel the questioning in every word he said voice low almost threatening the male in front of you “are you going to believe a 90 year old geezer who just found out beating kids is wrong or are you going to believe your beloved pro hero ? “

you could hear the teasing he held at the very end that even made you want to move just as fast as the photographer in front of you and follow after him

“ how do you want to take the photos y/n “ Shotos eyes looked down on you expectedly as you shook your head in confusion ‘ how did I end up picking our poses he wanted to change the generic one that was preplanned‘

you looked into his face as his eyes morphed into a look you couldn’t quite figure out “ i’m guessing you did this for me ? “

he shook his head slightly “ oh so you thought I would want something different from the basic ph— ok um “ you smiled as you turned to the front “ can we just do a um — maybe a hug but he hugs my waist that’s always a pretty marriage picture “

you moved to look back at him as the photographer agreed shoto moving carefully to stand behind you and wrap his arms around your waist hesitantly “ you can — it’s ok “ you felt as his shaky arms snaked around and sat in the spot that you guided them to your arms moving over them as your hands tried to soothe his jumpy ones

“ hey calm down “ you laughed “ just a picture — not me waging war on you family “

he looked down on your smiling face his own going through so many emotions not able to tell which one he wanted to show “ at least not the rest of them — your father maybe “ he watched as you turned back around the camera clicking as a genuine look of interest for you passed over his face

“ do you guys want to take another one “

“ um I think we’re good he doesn’t um— he doesn’t seem like a photo- e guy and i’m not very photogenic “

the photographer shook his head in understanding letting out a sigh of relief that he held as you moved to walk off your husbands grip tightening on you “ hey I — you can let go now sh— “

“ do you remember earlier “ he questioned “ when I told you to stay put “

your body flamed as you knew you’d done something wrong immediately feeling like you should try to defend yourself

“ why did you walk off “ his eyebrows furrowed “ how — why did you disobey orders “

“ I just—- I didn’t — your father— he — he came up and he— “

“ either way you didn’t listen you moved from the spot I placed you in” his eyes were staring holes into yours daggers really “so no matter who spoke to you — you were in the wrong “

“ I — it’s my body I can move “

“ yes you can in the spot I placed you “

“ I don’t even know you I don’t have t— “

“ that’s how it works “ his voice roared looking to the ground eyebrows furrowed as he was trying so desperately to understand you “ that is how it works in a marriage you listen to me —when I tell you to do something you do it and when I tel— “

“ no it’s not what — I” your face made up in confusion “ who told you these things —- this is ? i’m not a kid I am your wife now—we’re on two equal playing fiel— “

“ no “ you gnawed at your lip as he waited for a rebuttal seeing as though you had been answering him back after everything he said standing up straighter when he seen your tightly closed mouth “ i’m done with this argument I was just curious of something and you answered it “ he unwrapped himself from your body and turned to leave tugging at his suit

you not knowing wether to follow him or leave him be choosing the first option when he turned over his shoulder and stopped his movement

voice coming out short you were so confused with your new ‘husbands’ behavior he expected almost everything from you as if you could read his mind without words “ sorry — sorry “

he shook his head in understanding as he went to get his car from the valet opening the door for you as he opened his own getting in and setting himself up properly for a nice drive

your back hitting the seat hard when he took off your mind racing thinking this may be punishment for your words and anger towards him earlier.

‘ maybe he’s gonna play fast and furious while i’m In the car to get me to shut up ‘

“ I do not intend to scare you if that is what you are thinking “

he looked into his side mirror as he got over into another lane “ but I do intend to build structure where I see there is none “

you knew you should be quiet right now is not the time to fight for your rights in this new relationship not when he was driving like he’d never heard of a car accident

“ and I am not sure about you but I do feel right now is the best time to set that in place seeing as though I don’t know you and I doubt you even want to know me “

he waited on your answer “ when I stop talking that signifies you may speak “

“ sorry yes— no I do want—want to know you “

“ that’s interesting “ he sat back in the drivers seat as he eyed the road carefully slowing down a bit when taking in your answer “ i’d like to think that we were both forced into this “

“ ye-“

“ but that is simply not true “

your eyes refused to blink “ neither of us were “ he slowed the car down even more as he pulled into an underground parking garage “ you were handpicked by myself because I was asked to find a spouse to spark some uproar in the headlines or else i’d lose my title of number three hero and I am not too keen on giving that up right now with my father being number four and only living to climb the ranks “

he turned his car off as he turned to you “ i do not want to give him that enjoyment— “ he sighed “ you are not necessarily wanted nor needed— the only thing I can ask of you is to uphold this facade out there and i will give you and your family— everything i originally signed to in the contract“

he opened his car door as he stood fixing his suit again “ in here — my house you either follow my set of rules or you will be asked to leave and id honestly hate to ask you to leave “

you heart fluttered so he was interested in you

“ because then i’d have to talk to the media and I do hate when they ask me questions they have the material to supply themselves an answer with “

you heard the slam of the car door as you got out yourself hearing the two beeps from his car when locking it following him up the stairs as your eyes blinked several times

no

no no

no

you followed him up the elevator images flashing In your mind as you looked to the buttons remembering the number all too clear as he stepped out and onto the floor opening the door to the pent house your sweaty hands fiddling with the bottom half of your dress

“ shoto”

“ todoroki inside please my love — also “ he moved to his kitchen stripping off his jacket “ baby goes for me —my love goes for you in or out I don’t care — but do not overuse it — you will only annoy me “

you smiled softly trying to rush to ask your overwhelming question that was buzzing around inyour mind “ baby do you um— by any chance do you happen to have a rooma — “

“ who the fuck left the door open “ you heard the voice your ears had missed so much your body wanting to drop to the floor after hearing it “ shitty icy hot always coming in places and just leaving shit open— it’s like you don’t even know privacy “

“ well that is true I have never been awarded such thing as privacy I was off throwing up on tile after a long hard restless day of beatings “

“tch always so quick to spill your shitty trauma — wheres the bitch you set yourself up to marry “ he scoffed as you heard him nearing the kitchen “ marry for hire I mean “

shoto nodded as if the male could see it closing his fridge making his way over to you pushing you to follow him towards the loud deep voice “ she’s here actually though she’s going to be busy in a moment — you’ll have some time to meet her afterwards I promise “

“ god — if it goes on all night I swear — still can’t believe you hired some weird bitch to marry you and the whor—holy fuck “

Your eyes rose to meet his as you saw the tall blond drop his grenades he held in his gloved hands the loud clang echoing throughout the house “ my god I do ask bakugou if we’re going to stay together due to the department , that you do watch how you mess up our house , you have free range to destroy anything you want inside your own room “

“ shut —shut the fuck up ice tray“ his eyes narrowed on yours as he pointed at you “ this is the — the bitch you went to marry today — the one you picked out “

“ yes — I — is there a problem “ shoto turned to look you up and down “ though I did suspect some mental health challenges earlier i’m sure you can’t notice them up front right “

bakugous body shivered as he took a step back from you his body prepared to run

“ bakugou i’ve never seen you this “ your grip tightened on your dress pulling it up in the back hand dipping low to grab at your cell phone knowing you would have to call for help if he decided to be the bakugou you knew and kill you your ears listening closely as shoto spoke “ this afraid it’s quite eventful “

“ you— you dumbass “ he kept his eyes on you “ get the fuck out this isn’t the place for you— go back to your run down shitty cottage or something “

shoto stood confused as bakugou ran to grab you his hand tight on your arm his body stopping eyes made up in sadness face dropping as he felt himself wanting to scream and cry all at the same time. Hand only gripping harder onto your figure

“ what is the meaning of this —- I find this disgustingly rude — bakugou “

he shook his head eyes dropping to the floor your heart breaking he won’t even look at you that’s how bad your father screwed things up for you

Him pushing you away from him and towards the door as he spoke low hurt and pain ripping through his voice “ she’s gotta go “ his body moving to walk away “ now “ he screamed “ unmarry her or some shit—I don’t wanna see that bitch when I come back out here “

“ katsu— “

“ don’t you dare say my name not like that not with tears in your fucking eyes and sounding all sad and shit the last time you said it was the best time dont make me forget that shit “

your body shook in fear as his eyes weighed heavy on you shotos voice pouring out “ god bakugou please what are you saying your just being a bit of an— excuse my language my love but an — asshole aren’t you ? “

his body stalling when he thought back to a few moments ago “ wait how — how do you know his name “

your heart broke as you looked between the two men.

Just your luck that you would have to choose between a man who would most likely give you nothing but pure gentle love and supply your family the same only for one small thing in return or one that you missed so much every night you went to sleep

then again you would have no choice but to be married to someone that you’d already signed away your life to in a binding contract that stated your family and yourself would be very well taken care of and who were you to choose love over protection ?

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 5

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt: i stuck at prompts so uh hoskins is the best and walker is kind of the worst and the beginning then the worst at the end :)

Word Count: 1865

Reader: Female

Warning: uhhh

Author's Note: lmk for taglist, also sorry for not updating, I've had major writer's block. also struggling with tying things together in the plot. i'd rather not post anything than regret posting something lol. PLEASE GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, I KNOW THERE IS STUFF WRONG, JUST TELL ME

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

=====

Waiting.

All you have left to do is wait. After letting the Flag Smashers get away, flying to Germany to infiltrate their base, and Zemo “mysteriously” breaking out of prison; you have to sit here at a random cafe and wait. Wait for a sighting or wait for the two idiots to respond to your messages.

The whole situation frustrated you. No evidence pointed to Sam and Bucky breaking Zemo out but that was enough proof for you and Walker to agree that it was them. Hoskins, on the other hand, was skeptical.

“Why would two Avengers break a criminal out of prison?” Said soldier questions from beside you. The three of you were sat outside, away from prying eyes and ears while you had a quiet meal together. It was nice to have some calm but it made you itch.

You shrug and look down at your cup of coffee, “Steve got me out of prison and I have more a wrap sheet than Zemo does.”

“Yea, but that was to save the world.” Lemar points out, giving you an exhausted look. An uncomfortable pit in your stomach forms at the mention of the first battle, the one that blipped half the world gone.

Silence falls amongst the three of you again as you all are consumed by your thoughts. A small frown appears on your face as you think back to those years ago. Natasha Romanoff, a woman you will never see again, walked into your cell with a kind smile on her face. She explained to you the circumstances and how they needed everyone they could find to defeat a titan wanting world domination.

The look on Bucky’s face seeing you in Wakanda with the blonde was nerve-wracking. He looked like he saw a ghost. It brought back memories that you knew he didn’t want to think of and you felt guilty. It was not the first time the past has blended into his present and it wasn’t going to be the last, but it was worth it.

After his initial shocked expression, he greeted you with a surprised smile. One you never saw on him during your time at Hydra with his former self. He greeted you with your alias and his smile only got larger when you corrected him with your real name.

It was a sign of a fresh start between the two of you. He stuck beside you during the whole battle, protecting you from the aliens since it was obvious you were a bit rusty. It was nice… until you lost him again.

“They were desperate.” Walker’s voice rings out from across from you, a tone of realization.

“Who?”

“The Avengers.” He clarifies making you scoff and lean back in the patio chair. “They were up against an army that they thought they defeated years ago, an alien titan threatening to take over a world they’ve been trying to protect for years. The team was split into two and they didn’t know when the other half would show up.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms in annoyance at his backhanded analysis. You were out of practice, yea, but you were useful. They couldn’t have been that desperate to recruit you. “How does that relate to now?”

Now it’s Walker’s turn to roll his eyes. “So,” He drags out then lets out a scoff, “we have no leads. We’re at a dead end and we have the government behind us. They are as desperate as we are but the only difference is that they’re freelance heroes.” He carefully explains causing you to let out a sigh. You understood what he was getting at and it made you annoyed that he was right.

“So they can blur the lines we can’t.” You reluctantly conclude, he nods and relaxes in his seat. You had to hand it to him, he was smart. His training and years of experience did him well but that didn’t relax your nerves.

Bucky was still in recovery and you didn’t know how he would react to being in Zemo’s presence let alone working with him. He’s been doing better and this plus him not going to therapy is an uncertain combo.

Walker seemed to notice you dazing off again, subtly asking Lemar to go refill their coffees. You don’t notice when the man gets up and walks off until the blonde says your name.

“Hmm?” You hum, moving to grab your cup which was no longer there. A small blush appears on your face as you realize your distraction was gone. Now you have to look at him.

“You know, my wife doesn’t like me working with you that much.” He leans back in his seat and rolls his shoulders back, looking off in the distance. “With, you know, the countless charges of treason and espionage against you.”

You let out a snort, there was a lot more than that. “Where are you going with this, Walker?”

“You said you have more a wrap sheet than Zemo does.” He simply states, eyes finally landing on you. There’s a moment of silence between you two as you try to define his words. Why was he bringing up his wife? Why did it matter that she was eerie of you?

“Yet, she knows I’ll be safe and level-headed because Hoskins is here.” He continues, “Sam is with Bucky, he’s in safe hands. If Zemo were to try anything he has Sam there to help him.”

You roll your head back and run your hands through your hair. There he goes again, thinking he knows everything and understands the situation. He continues to drone on but you stopped listening. You were proud of yourself that you kept your temper down this long, honestly, especially with your emotions right now.

You wait till he’s finished before looking back at him. He had a solemn look on his face, trying to show some sympathy and kindness but it only pissed you off further. “John, he turned him into the Winter Soldier.” Your voice was struggling to keep at an appropriate volume. “He said the words and he was gone. He still had nightmares about it to this day.

“Sam doesn’t know how to deal with the Winter Soldier. I barely do and I spent most of my life working with him. If he--”

“He’s not going to, (Y/N).” He snaps and you immediately shut up. You didn’t even realize the tears that started to pool in your eyes until you felt the wet drop roll down your cheek. He allows you to compose yourself before talking again, “My wife worries about me every day, you don’t think she’s not blowing up my phone every time she sees a newscast?

“I love her, would do anything for her. But she knows that when I see a fight, a chance to do something good or change the world for the better, that she can’t hold me back.” He passionately states as he fails from hiding his own emotions. “She still would worry even if I had...” His hands started to shake and his voice started to quiver.

It startled you, truthfully. He was allowing you to see a different side of him, the real man behind the shield. It was an odd time to get a new perspective on him but it was eye-opening nonetheless. He was opening his heart up to you as much as he probably didn’t want to, showing the same vulnerability you were.

“She supports me. She supports this crazy dream I’m living out right now and she’s there for me. You need to do the same for Bucky.” He culminates his speech just as Hoskins exits the doors of the cafe, juggling three cups and a pastry in his hands.

Walker immediately tries to relax his shoulders while you advert your eyes to the group of tourists across the street. There was a tense air between the two of you that if Hoskins noticed, he didn’t mention.

He sets the pastry down in front of you and you send him a grateful smile, a small warmth in your chest at the gesture to make you feel better. It works slightly until Walker’s words echo through your head.

=====

You let out a groan when you feel something soft wack against your face. Opening your eyes, you see black and don’t fully process what’s actually going on until the object is pulled away and replaced by a phone hovering above you.

“They’re in Latvia.” Walker’s voice rings out from beside you. Your brain finally catches up with being woken up so abruptly as you reach out and grab the phone from his hands.

Avengers Abroad. The article title readout causes you to furrow your eyebrows. Walker starts collecting your things while Hoskins stands at the doorway with two bags in his hands.

You quickly skim through the piece as the blonde aggressively throws your clothes into your duffle, “Why are they in Latvia?” You question, looking up from the phone to Walker who just ignores you. It would’ve made you laugh, seeing him pack up like a child whose mother just picked him up in the middle of a sleepover but the expression on his face was not one to mess with.

“We don’t know.” Hoskin’s soothing voice answers for him. “We need to head out immediately in case they spotted Karli, though. The most we can do right now is meet up with them and help.”

“And arrest Zemo,” Walker adds, walking out of the bathroom.

You raise your hands in exasperation, a questioning look on your face. “Weren’t you the one who was just convincing me that it was a good thing that they had Zemo with them?”

“Never said it was a good thing, just a desperate thing.” He corrects, “Now we have enough information to arrest them both for harboring a fugitive, we can take whatever information they--”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You throw your covers off and get up from the bed. You were furious that he would even utter those words, he knew they were with him and now he was just trying to corner them to make it seem like he was doing civil justice. “You just want to turn the tables to make it seem like you did all the work, you want the starlight more than you want to take down Karli.”

There’s a tense moment of silence where you and Walker just stare at each other. You could tell you struck a nerve by the way his shoulder’s squared up. It happened every time you insulted him and it was his tell to show he was trying to hold back his emotions.

“Just grab the rest of your shit and meet us in the lobby.” He demands, giving your bag a heave and throwing it at you. Luckily, your reflexes work faster than your brain does and you catch it. There’s a bit of guilt that bites at the back of your head for the low blow, especially since he gave you some good advice this morning, but you had more important matters to attend to.

_____

taglist: @crowleysqueenofhell @mischiefmanaged71 @thewinterrbucky @lizajane3 @ahahafudge @spookycereal-s @a-girl-who-loves-disney @kittengirl998 @ sebby-staan @felicityofbakerstreet @sltwins @tanyaherondale​ @mads-weasley​ @healy-facedown​ @bbl32​ @sebby-staan

[mellometal]

Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.

I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.

Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.

I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.

ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:

This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)

LET'S FUCKING GET IT.

The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.

Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.

Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.

I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.

Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.

Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.

Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.

Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)

Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?

There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.

Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.

My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?

Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.

For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted

First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):

Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)

Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too. 

It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.

If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.

Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs): 

I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man. 

Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want. 

I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too. 

Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around. 

If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.

Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.

Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.

If you've read this far, thank you so much!

[333dolans]

Light Within The Darkness // G.D

Hey loves! This is my first attempt at writing anything for either of the twins so any constructive criticism is welcomed and very much appreciated. I love you!🤍

Summary: After a heated fight with Grayson leads to a cold night alone, an unEXpected and unwelcomed visitor arrives.

Warnings: Mentions of Abuse and Anxiety. ANGSTY with a lil fluff at the end.

“Are you actually taking the piss Y/N?!” Grayson growled, slamming the door to your small, but cozy apartment. You two had been leaving a small cafè in downtown LA when you had ran into an ‘old school friend’, or atleast that’s what you had told Grayson. He didn’t buy it at all of course, he had a talent of always seeing straight through you anytime you lied. He could read you like a book, he had your body language memorised like his favourite tame song and he knew this wasn’t simply an acquaintance from your early teenage years. When he tried to ask simple questions about him, you became very tense and he could see you had began grinding your jaw at the very mention of his existence and the encounter you had just had. you’d began cracking your fingers, a tell tale sign that you were rapidly becoming more and more on edge. He didn’t want to cause an argument from his tendency to always want to know what is going on, his need for control, so he let it slide. Well that was until you crossed paths with mystery man once again. “Two years with no interaction and we see each other twice within a half a hour period? It’s a sign from the universe Y/N, we should get back together haha!” The man joked. You smiled awkwardly, feeling the heat rising within Grayson. You couldn’t tell if it was due to the mans comment, or the fact that you had lied about this man being your most recent ex. It was probably a mixture, you thought to yourself. Grayson turned on his heel and was started off towards the Porsche just a few metres away. You rushed a quick farewell and dashed after your boyfriend.

“Gray can you just let me-” “Y/N. Don’t.” He interrupted. You didn’t dare speak another word until you made it back to your apartment. The car ride was a silent one, something you wasn’t used to in your entire relationship with Grayson. You two were always jamming out to a throwback playlist and singing your hearts out. When you arrived, He made his way across to where you were standing in the living room. “Gray, I’m sorry ok? I didn’t want to make things awkward for you. He’s my ex- boyfriend, it was uncomfortable and I just wanted to diffuse the situation as soon as I possibly could.” You tried to reason. “Don’t you think I was just as uncomfortable probably even more so when I found out he was your ex?! You should of just told me but instead you lied to me.” He argued back. “How could it possibly have been worse for you G? I have so much history with him and things didn’t end well between us. Why are you making this about you? You’re not even considering how I felt, it’s always about you isn’t it?” You whispered the last part, defeatedly. “If it’s ‘always about me’ then maybe I should leave, Wouldn’t want you to be stuck with someone so selfish!” He screamed. You could feel the tears building behind your eyes, he knew as well as everyone else in your life that if there was one thing you couldn’t take, it was someone shouting at you. It always sent your anxiety sky rocketing and left you spiralling. “Leave Gray. Now please.” You whispered, holding back the desperate urge to breakdown in front of him. “With pleasure, Bitch.” He spat before leaving your apartment the same way he entered. Those words, although simple ones, held so much more meaning to you when they fell from his lips, lingering in the air and consuming your mind. The tears instantly began to stream, letting out a choked sob. “If only you knew.” You thought out loud.

You were jolted awake by an increasingly louder banging on your door. You glance over at your clock, 2:39AM. Grayson. He had came to apologise for acting like such a dick. You slipped out of bed and wrapped your blanket around you tightly. The relentless torture your front door was under not once letting up. You peaked through the peep hole, you weren’t a complete idiot, you had to be sure it was Gray. But who else would turn up at your door at this time right? Crack. You felt your heart shatter and swore you could hear the broken pieces hit the hard floor of your hallway. There, stood your ex boyfriend, Riley. You could of sworn you were frozen to that very spot, but your brain took control and carried you off towards the bedroom, rapidly grabbing for your phone and gripping it tightly to your chest. You creeped back towards the door cautiously, not wanting to make too much noise. “Riley you need to leave. Now please.” You spoke politely, which was beyond what he deserved. “Y/N! Open the door please. I need you. I’m a mess without you. Seeing you today reminded me off that!” He pleaded. “You’ve survived 2 years, keep going. I have a boyfriend Riley. Please leave.” You responded, heart non stop pounding against your chest, taking your breath away with every thump. “Y/N! YOU STUPID BITCH! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” He growled through the door, repeatedly kicking at it now. “JUST LEAVE RILEY!!!!” You retreated into your bedroom, then into the bathroom and locked both doors. You violently sobbed into the blanket that had been wrapped around your body as you reached for your phone.

To Babe💘: Gray, please.

Read at 2:45am

3 missed calls from Babe💘

To Babe💘: Hello?

Read at 2:52am

You sobbed even more, realising that he was ignoring you at a time when you needed him the most. You don’t remember when, but you must have eventually passed out on the cold bathroom tiles. You didn’t have the energy to get up, so you sat up against the side of your bath. You reached for your phone, only to see not one single sign of contact from Grayson. You felt the all too familiar feeling rising in your chest and taking control of your breathing. Another panic attack. You hadn’t had one in months due to the calmness Grayson provided, he was your light within the darkness, but he wasn’t here to save you this time. You texted him once more before you fully broke down.

To Babe💘: Grayson please, I need you. Now.

You knew this would work. His full name over text was only ever used in an emergency. You shut your phone off to try and focus on your breathing rather than how shitty your boyfriend was being right now. You had completely forgotten about the text and 30 minutes later you heard the front door swing open. “Y/N!? Where are you?!” Seconds later he enters the bathroom and finds your small form, tear stained cheeks and violently shaking from your cold night alone. “No no no, baby I’m so so sorry. Y/N look at me yeah? Focus on my voice. Deep breaths for me.”

He tried to scoop you into his arms but you cowered away. In that moment he swore he could feel his heart shatter. He had become the man he’d promised you he’d never be. Grayson knew you had and still struggle with your mental health, although he didn’t know much about the causes of it all. He let his anger get the best of him once again and he hurt you in the process. “Angel, I cant express how sorry I am. I didn’t mean to snap at you and I certainly didn’t mean what I called you.”

There it was again. His words began to replay in your head for the 100th time. “With pleasure, Bitch.” “STOP! Please make it stop Gray. I don’t wanna be back there anymore, I can’t be back there.” You begged him, clinging to his shirt now. He cautiously began to rub his hands along your back, palms sore from the strength he used to grip the steering wheel on the way over to your apartment. “Back where love? Talk to me please, I want to help you.” The feeling of Grays hand on your body, knowing he was close to you, knowing you were safe now, your breathing slowly began to regulate. You finally lifted your head and looked up to meet his eyes. Teary and bloodshot, a mirror image of yourself. You could see, scrap that, you could feel that he was sharing your pain. He didn’t know why you was feeling it, but he could feel it all nonetheless. You took in a shakey breath as you began.

“Riley seriously, they’re a pair of shoes? I bought them as a treat for myself for getting promoted.” You tried to explain to him, annoyance growing every passing minute. You were always smart with your money, never splurging out on fancy items. You’d never really felt like you’d needed them. However, earlier this month you’d been called into your bosses office and offered a better paying position at your work, which you gladly accepted. You’d decided that you would finally buy the shoes you’d been eyeing up for months now but had never talked yourself into buying. They were $300 but you decided you deserved them, your boyfriend clearly didn’t feel the same way. “I don’t care Y/N, you cant just start spending our money so carelessly, especially not this close to when rent is due and for something so minor as a promotion.” He countered, words laced with resentment. You couldn’t help but let out a snort. “Our money? It wasn’t ‘our money’ when you went out and bought that watch.” You pointed to the, in all honesty, hideous watch that was strapped around his wrist with pride. “I spent my hard earned money on those shoes because I deserved them, I worked for them.” You spoke, calmly and with confidence. “I seriously don’t understand your problem, please explain? Like I know it may be hard for your fragile masculinity to accept that not only a woman but your own girlfriend earns more than you, but that doesn’t give your misogyny a free pass to belittle my achievements”. You knew the second you said that, you would come to regret it. “You want me to explain? With pleasure, Bitch.”

The tears were once again streaming down your face once you finally stopped to breath again. “It was abusive and toxic, I knew I had to leave him, I had to get out of there so I did. I never looked back after I left but I guess life has a way of not letting you forget your past, no matter how hard you try to.” You sighed, so tired from the nights previous events. You’d explained to Grayson about what had happened with Riley turning up at your door, you’re grateful he’d left before Gray got there otherwise you may of been spending your night bailing his ass out of prison right now instead of in his arms. You’d explained about your past with him and why things had ended. You knew Gray had many more questions but it was clear you were not ready to answer them right now and you were extremely thankful he left the topic alone. You quite frankly didn’t want to entertain your memories of Riley anymore and Grayson knew that. He planted a kiss on your forehead before scooping you up, “wanna watch a film and cuddle? You can choose the movie.” He wiggles his eyebrows and gave you his signature smirk. “Yes please, only if you bring me the ice cream though!” You giggled, letting the last 3 hours fade to the back of your mind.

You were out like a light after 30 minutes, head in Grayson’s lap as he carelessly traced shapes along your arms, watching your chest rise and fall and lips slightly parted. “I will never let this happen to you again, you have my word. I love you more than I love myself angel.” He spoke gently, watching in awe as your lips curled to form a faint smile. “Mine” he thought to himself, “All mine.”

[ravenforce]

Stark Legacy 4

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Carol Danvers x Wanda Maximoff x Maria Hill x Reader but Maria Hill x Reader centric for this chapter.

Summary: Four times Maria Hill finds the reader super cute but tells herself three girlfriends enough, and the one time she doesn’t hold back.

Word Count: 4884

A/N: Well, I didn’t plan for this to go almost 5k but here we are. And this is my first time writing, Maria Hill x Reader, so have mercy on me. I hope I gave it justice, and that you guys have fun reading this one as much as I had fun writing it. Let me know what you guys think. xx

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 6

***

Happy startled from where he was lounging in the living room when he heard several footsteps coming from the hallway. He was already aiming his gun at the door when Carol walked in along with Nat, Maria, and Wanda. They looked unfazed in the face of a loaded gun.

“Hey, ladies?” It sounded more like a question than a greeting. He unloaded his gun, put it back down the centre table before walking to the bar where the girls sat. Nat was behind the counter already pouring drinks for Carol and Wanda. Maria, on the other hand, walked directly to the balcony to make a phone call to cancel the crew she called for awhile ago.

The room is tensed, Happy can sense it. Before he could question what’s wrong, Maria walked back in, and asked, “Did you know that Stark’s built a new iron suit?”

Ah! Now Happy understood what the tense silence meant. “Is she even gonna tell us?” Carol asked after turning her stool around to face him.

“Well -”

Wanda gasped before he can even say anything else. “What do you mean she’s just out testing her suit?” Happy looked at her with a straight face. He never got used to the young witch being on his head.

“Do you mean the suit’s not finished yet?” Nat looked like she’s trying to decide whether she’s uncomfortable, worried, or pissed. “Did you know what she did?”

Before Happy could answer though, the sound of your metal boots landing on the balcony made everyone turn towards you.

“Stop terrorizing the poor man, Tasha.” You walked slowly inside the penthouse, your suit retreating back inside your body. It was a design Tony planned for the next Iron suit that he never got to incorporate. You walked back to the couch and sat facing everyone at the bar.

“Did Fury know about this?” Maria asked as politely as she could while asserting her power as Deputy Director.

“No.” You answered simply. Before she can pose any question, you continued. “I’m not S.H.I.E.L.D, nor an Avenger. I don’t need to ask permission to anyone to do anything.”

Carol and Maria frowned a little with your blatant disregard of authority. Wanda kept quiet, knowing that you are right. They don’t have dominion over you. Still, behind the counter, Nat tried to hide her chuckle but knew she failed when everyone turned their attention to her. At that point, instead of reigning in her reaction, she started giggling uncontrollably. Carol looked at her like she just grew another head.

Maria having a slight idea as to why Nat is laughing, ignored her and turned back towards you. “May I speak to you in private?” she asked. You’re starting to like how badass Deputy Director Hill is well-mannered. You smiled before standing up and following her in your brand new study.

Nat watched you walk away with Maria. She has a feeling you will live up to the Stark attitude. Instead of getting a little pissed, she’s secretly happy to have Stark energy back in their lives. Sure, it was a little rough getting Tony to work along with everyone else but they made it, and she misses him every day since.

Happy sidled up to the smiling black widow, watching you and Maria speak inside the study with your door wide open. “It’s just like old times,” she whispered.

Happy chuckled, remembering how hard it was for Tony to even sign a contract with S.H.I.E.L.D at first, and how allergic he was to asking permission and being told what to do. “Yeah, just like old times.”

***

It wasn’t like old times. Maria learned that when she found you sitting on one of the benches outside HQ with a cup of coffee from Starbucks, and reading a paperback an hour earlier than you were expected. To say that she was surprised was an understatement. She expected you to be late for the meeting, the same way Tony was when they were trying to get him to sign his contract with S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers.

You looked up at her and immediately greeted her with a warm smile. “Good morning, Deputy Director.”

She eyed you curiously. “Good morning, you’re early.”

You smiled in a way that the artificial skin around your eyes crinkled adorably, and Maria is mesmerized. “Well -” you reached for the tumbler and handed it to her. She took it gratefully. “I never liked being late.”

It’s interesting to know that no matter how alike you and Tony are, there are still things that set you two apart. Maria is quite intrigued to find out what else makes you different. Maria gave you a small smile. “Shall we go inside?”

You meticulously put a bookmark on the page you were reading (because only demons use dog ears as a bookmark) before putting it inside your backpack.

“Lead the way, ma’am,” you said cheekily. Maria’s heart skipped a beat at that.

***

Maria mentally prepared for a long meeting with you and Fury but to yet another surprise, the meeting only lasted for an hour. After explaining your suit, Fury wasted no time in whipping out a contract that will sign you as a training agent with S.H.I.E.L.D for the moment. In the past, Tony made a huge fuss about being put in the lowest rank, they both expected you to do the same but no. You just asked Fury to hand the contract over so you can go through it. With your newly installed AI, you were able to scan the contract and understand it’s content within 2 minutes.

You procured a pen out of the pocket of your trouser and signed expertly on the side of each piece of paper. Fury was surprised but of course, none of it can be seen across his always impassive face. You slid him the side contract, and he caught it expertly.

“Very well -” He neatly put the contract inside a folder with your name labelled in front. “ - Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D, Agent Stark.”

You grinned at the title. Maria bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling as well. Something about you is infectious it seems. “Thank you, Director.”

“Don’t give Agent Hill too much trouble,” Fury said before exiting the conference room.

“No promises, Director.” You said looking at Maria from across the table.

She rolled her eyes at you playfully. “I’m surprised you agreed to the contract easily.”

You laughed heartily, causing butterflies to erupt on Maria’s stomach, then a somber expression took over your face. You looked at the pen in your hand, you turned it over to look at your brother’s name carved on it. “Growing up, Tony and I were inseparable. Even with a few years ahead of me, everyone still manages to think we were twins because we like the same things, think almost the same way.”

You smiled remembering your childhood with Tony but it didn’t reach your eyes. “I know Tony’s a bit of work, and a pain in the ass when it comes to following orders but no matter how alike we were -” You looked up at Maria before continuing. “I’m not my brother, I’m not Tony.”

“I’m sorry -” She felt bad for comparing, she started to apologize but you cut her off.

“It’s okay. It’s a common mistake.”

You said it without resentment, just a fact. Even in the past, you never felt resentment over being compared to him in almost all occasions. You think it’s an honor to be even considered Tony’s equal but with him forever gone, people are bound to keep comparing and you’re not gonna live your second life living in his shadow. It’s not something he would want you to do. So you will point it out until people learn the difference between the two of you.

Maria nodded. She realized in that raw moment that regardless of your ball-jointed shell, and inhumanly perfect skin, you are still fully human inside; and she resolved to treat you like one better.

***

One of the perks of signing the contract with S.H.I.E.L.D was that Fury didn’t revoke your privilege to stay at the Tower with Happy. In return though, you are to report daily at the headquarters and will be closely working under Agent Hill. You frankly didn’t mind, Maria has been very professional since the day she and Happy found you in Tony’s last secret lab. You know that she’s very smart, and damn good leader. It also helps to point out that she’s very easy in the eyes. 

Yes, your soul may be housed in a robotic shell but you are still very much gay. Not that you think you have a chance with Deputy Director Hill, no. Happy has filled you in thoroughly about what you’ve missed, one of them being that the most badass women of the Avengers are actually dating Agent Hill. 

Now, how on earth do you think you’d ever had a chance to board that ship? The answer is you do not. Had you been your normal human self, it wouldn’t be a problem but you are not your normal human self. And you loathe to admit it - even to yourself - but having a fully robotic body is giving you insecurities you never had before.

So you do the what a Stark would in an event that they can’t get what they want: compartmentalize. Box the heavy feelings and drop it at the bottom of the ocean. So, the next day, you were more than ready to meet Agent Hill (or her girlfriends) without feeling flustered. 

“Good morning, Agent Stark.” Maria’s sudden greeting from the gym door startled you enough to cause you to punch a hole through the punching bag. Maria chuckled when she heard you curse under your breath. 

You looked up at her as she casually walks inside the room, wearing her tight training gear. So much for not being ruffled by feelings, you thought to yourself. “Good morning, ma’am. I can pay for the bag,” you said sheepishly. 

Maria stood a few feet away from you outside the mat. She turned around to put her gym bag down. “Don’t worry about it, we have so many of that in the stock room,” she answered before stepping away from her bag and bending down to start her stretching. She kept her back towards you, giving your full access to her tight ass, and you had to quickly avert your eyes to keep your system from overheating. 

“Agent Stark, I detect a spike to your shell temperature,” Edward, your newly programmed AI, spoke through the gym speaker. You internally pleaded for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. You thought it was a good idea to cast Edward to the gym system so he could play you some music while working out. Now, you know it was stupid especially after you looked back towards Maria who’s now smirking at you. 

Maria walked towards you and put a hand on your cheek. “Calm down, Agent Stark. We haven’t even started yet,” she whispered. Training daily was not a problem you said. Not going to be ruffled by gay feelings you said.

***

On days where you don’t have training, Maria always asks you to shadow her for the day while she does her job as deputy director. It’s in those days that Maria finds more reason to like you. On your first week, she found out that you’re even better with people than your brother. People used to always gravitate towards Tony because he was a force of nature that sucks in people in his orbit. You, on the other hand, is the calm after Tony’s storm, and people gravitate towards you because of your charming and dependable personality.

On the second week, she found out that while Tony likes reminding people that he’s a genius billionaire, you like keeping it on the down-low. It’s common knowledge that you are as much as a genius as Tony was but Maria appreciates your humility. In that same week, she also learned that you are a caretaker.

“Good morning, Agent Hill.” You greeted way too cheerfully. Maria turned towards you and was surprised to see you extending both your hands with coffee and pastry. She cocked her perfectly sculpted eyebrows at you. You smiled at her silent question. “You’re always here early. I’m assuming haven’t had breakfast yet. If you don’t want them, you can give them away.”

A pained looked briefly passes over Maria’s face like the thought of giving your gifts away pained her. “You’re right, I haven’t had breakfast yet. I didn’t wanna make too much fuss in the kitchen and risk waking Carol, and Wanda.” She took a bite of the still-hot Bearclaw. “Hmm. This is so good. Thank you.”

You smiled as you watch her eat up. “You said, you didn’t wanna wake Carol and Wanda. Where’s Tasha?”

Maria noted that you’re the only person at S.H.I.E.L.D that calls her girlfriend Tasha. “She always wakes up early but she’s hopeless in the kitchen.” Maria smiled fondly at the thought of Natasha. Then she looked up at you with mirth in her eyes. “Don’t tell her I said that, though.”

You two started giggling together.

***

The pastry and coffee became a habit. A part of it was you being obsessed with consistency but a bigger part of it was because you care about the woman. You’ve seen how busy she could be with training recruits, doing reports and paper works, coordinating missions, and attending meetings with Fury that she forgets to eat. So, every day like clockwork, no matter what happens or no matter where she is, you find a way to get Maria something to eat.

Just like how you found a way to send her, her daily fix of pastry and coffee while she was at the Avengers compound. Maria was on the balcony speaking with one of her agents when Happy waltz in.

“Happy! My man!” Sam yelled enthusiastically when he saw the man came in with boxes of doughnuts, a smaller paper bag, and a cup of coffee. “Is that for us?”

Happy greeted everyone before putting the doughnuts on the centre table. He made sure to put the smaller paper bag and coffee on a separate table. In Sam’s excitement over the prospect of food, he failed to get the message that the other package wasn’t for sharing.

“Uhm -” Happy tried to stop him but Sam already opened the small paper bag containing Maria’s Bearclaw.

“Oooh! Bear-” He didn’t manage to finish cooing over the pastry before Maria appeared before him with her standard S.H.I.E.L.D gun on his face. He let out an embarrassing yelp.

“Put my breakfast down Wilson or I’ll put you down myself.”

Sam gulped at the seriousness in Maria’s voice. He slowly put the bag down back on the side table and promptly put his hands up in surrender. “Damn, Hill. It’s just bread.”

It was all it took before Carol, Wanda, and Nat started laughing so hard. Sam turned towards his teammates and glared. Wanda recovered first and wiped the happy tears from her eyes. “It’s not just bread, Sam. It’s from her crush,” she said a little breathlessly from the laughing fit.

Sam turned to Maria who’s already sat down and nibbling quietly on her food with a faint blush on her cheeks. “You have a crush on Happy?” He asked incredulously.

Happy threw a pillow on the back of this head. “Ow! What?”

“It’s not from me, idiot.”

“It’s from Stark,” Carol said.

Sam turned towards Maria again. “You have a crush on Y/N?”

“Like I’m the only one,” Maria fired back. Making Sam turn towards the three, who are now turning bright red on their seat as well.

Sam and Bucky chuckled. “Well, hot damn.”

***

Exactly two months after starting your training with Maria, Fury decided you’re fit for more than just desk duty. No one was actually surprised at the decision. Aside from being more agile, more adaptable than any other recruit, you have also proven that you are just as smart as your brother was. Hence, making you as good as a tactician as he was.

On the day of your first mission, Maria came to work a little later than usual and she was surprised to only find her pastries but no you, sitting on her desk and waiting for her. She looked around to check if you’re in just loitering around other tables. You have, after all, been quite popular with the other agents. What with your insanely human-built, and charming personality.

“Agent Colson,” she called out when she saw the man passing by.

“Good morning, Agent Hill.” He greeted cordially. She was just about to ask you when Colson beat her to the subject. “I hope you don’t mind me borrowing Agent Stark, I’m one man short for today’s emergency mission.”

Maria was surprised but managed to give the man a tight smile. “Of course not,” she said shaking her head a little. “May I speak with Agent Stark before you leave though?”

“Of course, she’s probably out at the cockpit preparing with Daisy.”

***

Lo and behold, you are indeed in the cockpit, sitting on one of the metal crates. Your smile faltered a bit when you see the unreadable look on Maria’s face.

“What’s with the long face, Agent Hill?” You teased lightly. Agent Johnson kicked your foot in warning before walking away to give you two a little privacy.

“Nothing.” Her reply was short and clipped like she’s holding back on saying more. “Just -”

“Just?” You cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Just remember your training out there.” She shoved her hands at the back pocket of her dark jeans. “Don’t lose your head.”

It’s not like she doesn’t trust you to complete the mission. It’s not like she doesn’t trust Agent Colson’s team to have your back. They’re one of the finest agents in the organization but it still worries her that you’re going out there without her, or without one of her girlfriends at least. She will have to talk to Fury about it, she thought.

“I didn’t think you care so much, Agent Hill.”

You just couldn’t help teasing her especially when she looks like she’s struggling whether to admit to it or not with herself. Before she can answer though, Agent Johnson came back to tell you it’s time to take off. You nodded before jumping off the crate you’re seating on. Maria watched you leave before the quinjet closes, you turned back to her and winked. You caught a glimpse of her shaking her head to hide the faint blush on her cheeks.

***

The mission was fairly easy. It’s just supposed to be a recon mission. Get in, get intel, get out but like real life, not everything goes as planned. Right at the start, you were antsy, the place was way too quiet to be safe. It was even more suspicious when your team was able to get the intel you came for without meeting any hostile, nor any resistance.

“It’s a trap,” you whispered where your team are huddled in front of the computer. “Let’s pretend we hadn’t caught up to their plan.”

“What are you thinking?” Agent Grant asked while he types away on the keyboard.

“They’re going to ambush us on the way out,” you answered.

Everyone looked at each other. Agent Grant pulled the USB off the computer and turned towards you. “You should take this.” He pushed the device to your hand. “Just in case.”

You frowned. “Hold on a sec.” You snatched the device and slot it in your arm. Within a second, you pulled it back and gave it back to Agent Grant. He looked at you questioningly.

“I can’t hold on to that. They can shoot me, damage my operating system, deactivate me, and capture me.” Everyone got the message. “But I made a copy of what’s inside, just in case.”

“Okay. Let’s get this over with.” Everyone nodded. “Move out.”

***

As calculated, the ambush happened just before you can close the building. They’re waiting for you right in the open, with their annoying HYDRA uniform, and heavy artillery. No warning came before they started openly firing at your team.

You hear Agent Johnson barking orders in your comms. “Spread out, wait for my signal.”

You and Agent May run to the right, while Agent Johnson and Grant run to left and took cover on the thick trunk of the trees surrounding the vicinity. “They’re bound to run out of ammo. That’s our cue,” Agent Johnson spoke through the comms again.

Like clockwork, the gunfire stopped and the HYDRA soldier scrambled to reload their guns. Right on cue, the four of your stepped out of the shadow and started attacking the soldiers in close combat. You can see by the way they were uncoordinated that they weren’t expecting to be engaged that way. You took it as an opportunity to send powerful combination moves to immobilize as many hostiles as possible.

The fight lasted for at least an hour or more. Everyone took a moment to catch their breaths.

“Everyone okay?” Agent Johnson confirmed. The fight visibly took a lot from the team that they can only nod at the question.

“I think we better move out before more of these bad boys crawl out from where they came from,” you suggested. Nobody needed to be told twice. Nobody has any more energy left to fight a fresh wave of hostiles. Even you were running on your secondary battery pack.

***

A collective sigh of relief was heard once the quinjet was safely flying in autopilot. Everyone was already out of their tactical uniform when you emerged from the pit. Agent May smiled when she saw you walk in.

“Change out of your suit and try to relax a little,” she suggested. You started retracting your Phantom suit back to your body when Agent Johnson gasped.

“Agent Stark are you alright?” Agent Grant stood up to check you up. You were confused until you followed their line of sight.

“Oh.” Was all you could say when you saw the corrugated blade lodge a little off your left ribcage.

“Oh?” Your team asked in unison.

You sat down beside Agent Johnson. “What can we do?” She asked. By the hitch in her voice, you know she’s going frantic.

“Nothing as of the moment but I’m okay -” You said a little slower than you normally would, and your eyes started dropping. “-I have run diagnostic. It’s not a threat but it’s draining my batteries fast.”

Everyone calmed a little bit when they remembered you’re not entirely human anymore. “Okay. You should rest. We still have a few hours in the air,” Agent May suggested.

“I already sent a message for Happy. He will know how to handle me.”

***

True to your words, Happy was there when the quinjet landed. “Thank you,” he said to the team before rolling you away with the technical team. Maria arrived at the lab shortly after Happy got you in the table.

“What can I do to help, Happy?”

The man didn’t startle. Instead, he shoved a bunch of wires in her hands before going to the computers and started typing away.

“Can you attached those to Y/N’s body, please?”

Maria did as she was instructed to. After a few minutes, with the cables secure in various parts of your body, the lab light dimmed while the one at the exam table lit up. A program booted on the computer.

“Hello. I’m Edward, I’m Y/N Stark’s personal AI. What can I do for you?”

“Run diagnostics on Y/N.” Happy commanded the AI with practised precision.

“It appears that Ms Stark has suffered a stab wound on her left ribcage. No internal wirings or hardware has been compromised. Except for Battery Pack A.”

“Suggested course of action?”

“Replace battery pack A, and initiate skin repair protocol.”

Happy nodded solemnly while checking his work tablet. Maria standing on the side, just watching everything unfold.

“Edward, I just connected you to this lab. Run an inventory of supplies and equipment.”

After literally five seconds. “Inventory complete.”

Happy smiled thinking how you did well in programming Edward. “Do we have what you need to start Y/N’s repairs?”

“Yes.”

“Then initiate.”

“Copy that, Harold.”

***

The replacement of your battery pack and the repair on your skin only took 45 minutes. All of which was done by the industrial robots from Stark Industries. Happy and Maria looked on intently as machines whirred around you.

“Repairs complete,” Edward informed the pair both Maria and Happy who sighed their relief quietly.

“How long before she wakes, Edward?” Maria asked.

“In about 5 hours tops, Agent Hill. The protocol includes putting her on stasis as she fully charges all four of her batteries.”

“In that case, I’m going to get us something to eat first. This is stressful.” Happy declared while already almost halfway to the door.

***

Five hours, and a box of pizza later, you opened your eyes. You turn your head away from the light and saw Happy sleeping on the sofa in the lab. You smiled softly to yourself, happy to still have the man by your side.

“Hey.” You turned to your other side, surprised to see Maria sitting by your bedside and holding a book on robotics.

“Hey,” you choked out. There’s that unreadable expression on Maria’s face again. Lucky for you, you didn’t have to ask her any more about it before Maria closed the book in her hand and threw herself in your arms.

“Hey, I’m here. I’m okay.” You tried to assure her but Maria only tightened her hold on you.

“You scared me,” she mumbled against your chest.

You were inclined to make a joke about being invincible but by the looks of it, Maria wouldn’t appreciate it. So, you stopped deflecting to protect yourself from catching pesky feelings. You wrapped your hands around her a little tighter.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

[nimsajlove]

As a Team (III)

Brothers-AU  Ao3

Part I/II, Part IV

"I like it when the reg's are angry.", Wrecker grinned and left his place as copilot. Ahsoka raised an eyebrow and ground her teeth, the sound earning a slight twitch from Hunter from the corner of her eye. So realized what Jesse had meant hours ago. The attitude that those few words already conveyed pissed her off. "Reg? Good to know.”, she muttered and went back to her pockets. Sighing, she went down on her knees and opened the backpack, it was crammed to the brim with everything she could get from a medic. Burnes must have taken his job seriously, very well. She pushed her way down past the bandages and plasters. Warming blankets, which she had already got to know years ago, were stuck next to some hypnos. She took one out and scanned the label. Some pain relievers and medication in case of shock. Not that she could take any of this! As soon as she had thought through the thought to the end, she spotted a bundle of a few tablets and colored Hypnos tied together at the bottom. Damn it, she owed her medics something now! “Don't take it personally. We don't work with regular clones on a daily basis.", Hunter said next to her and watched as the Jedi put the medical equipment back properly. Then she turned to the other, smaller, bag. “It doesn't matter. I'm afraid of my brothers when they're angry, maybe you should be too?”, she tried to chat lightly, that everyone in the ship was watching her and also had the nerve to want to judge her brothers, pressed her on the mood. There was a big knot in her stomach and she didn't like the way it contracted every now and then.

In the second pocket she found a clean robe, a few rations, and water bottles. She could kiss the boys! If it continued like this, she would soon not have to think about anything at all. But when she pulled the robe out to throw it on, something fell from the folded fabric to the floor. Before she fully understood what it was, Wrecker had already reached for it curiously and Crosshair let out a breath that was reminiscent of a low whistle. Both looked at Ahsoka's old headdress and Wrecker turned it a little. "Wrecker...", Hunter warned and Asoka smiled, he sounded a bit like Rex when she had done something stupid again. Wrecker responded and handed the jewelry back to her, teeth clattering softly against each other. "Scared huh?", smiled Hunter and with a little roll of her eyes Ahsoka stuffed his teeth back into her pocket with the other things. The thought was very sweet and the trophy might earn her respect from Force 99, but she really liked her current clone jewelry. Whenever she saw her reflection in a helmet or mirror, it reminded her where she belonged. With her robe in hand she picked herself up again and threw on the thick, brown fabric. Immediately it enveloped her like a warm hug. "Now she looks like a Jedi!", commented Wrecker, drawing another smile and roll of her eyes from her. When it wasn't about other clones, these men had the potential to be fun people. "Thank you.", she replied, irony loud and clear in her voice. "Sorry, he just doesn't have a mental filter.", Tech announced from the front and this time she had to grin, the flight would be interesting.

Sighing, she made herself comfortable on the floor next to her bag and stretched out her legs. This would be the perfect flight to meditate a little. However, she had only enjoyed it to a limited extent before and did not believe that it would get rid of the uncomfortable tingling sensation under her skin now. Nevertheless, there was silence for a while and Ahsoka closed her eyes for a few seconds. Then she noticed that this wasn't like any of the other flights at all. Nobody sat there and complained, nobody had bent over a datapad to write reports. Kriff, her reports from the past few days! She should have taken her datapad... Even if only to plan the next few hours! Maybe... With a little grunt she got up again, the irritated looks from Wrecker and Crosshair followed her on the way forward. Tech had put the ship on autopilot and seemed to be tinkering with something, she wasn't even going to try to understand what it was! Anakin had taught her a lot, but not that much either. Everything beyond doors, normal droids and small spaceships was out of her league. At least most of the time. "Tech, right?", she asked softly and leaned against the pilot's seat from behind, the clone nodded tightly and precisely. "Do you have a datapad for me?" Sighing, Tech laid his tangle of cables away and bent to one side, datapad in hand he reappeared. When he handed it to her, he eyed her curiously. "What are you going to do with it?", he asked a little suspiciously and Ahsoka had to smile. “I just want to play through my plans a little. Or is there something on it that I am not supposed to find?”, she teased and Wrecker gave a violent snort behind her. Tech continued to stare at her, then shrugged and turned back to his work. Well, then that was settled. With her slender fingers, she switched on the pad and decided, with the luck of her own, to search Tech's collection of data for her target. She found little, but it was better than nothing!

"You just didn't seem like someone who's planning long beforehand.", Hunter remarked as the Jedi sat back down on the floor. She shrugged her shoulders. “My brother had priority, I would go in there blind if I had to. And I think that getting in won't be the big problem...", she mumbled and looked at the few dates and plans in front of her. "But out will be?", Crosshair growled and Ahsoka looked up, he looked at her with a chilled look and when she got goose bumps on the back of her neck under her lekku, she gave him a challenging grin. "Scared?", she grinned broadly and showed her sharp fangs, Crosshair rolled his eyes and turned back to his weapon. Wrecker was still giggling to himself and even Hunter smiled next to her. “But so much effort for a reg? One soldier out of thousands, I just would like to point out.", Tech suddenly called from the front, he turned around a little in the chair and could watch how Ahsoka screwed up her eyes and suppressed a rumble deep in her chest.

Hell, she had a really bad grip on her emotions today! She swallowed the growl and took a deep breath, her heart beating hollow and loud in her chest. "Would you just leave one of those here?", she asked and pointed with a palm around, Tech shrugged his shoulders a little incomprehensibly and Wrecker cocked his head helplessly. However, Hunter's expression when she looked at him had tightened. He stood beside her, tense, leaning against the wall. “I don't know if I can follow completely. You are a Jedi, you have the whole Order behind you, right?", he said softly and Ahsoka almost escaped an amused snort. “My brothers never left my side, without them I wouldn't even have survived the first year. If I have a tiny chance of doing the same for Echo then I'll do it.”, she explained, and as she stared at Hunter, an unexpected lump formed in her throat. "I have to take care of them, all of them.", she pressed out and averted her gaze ashamed, tears tingling in her eyes. Damn it, she hadn't talked about Echo and his 'death' in a long time and she hadn't suspected how much it was still hurting her. The very idea that she might just have left for nothing came with such a headache that she stifled the idea in the bud. "I understand. You will get him back.”, Hunter suddenly mumbled and patted her shoulder hard and sure.

 The rest of the flight was quiet, Ahsoka didn't ask why Hunter didn't wrote any reports. She kept her thoughts to herself. Even then, when she almost had to wrestle with Wrecker over one of her rations. But the loud laugh of the massive clone made her grin too. Crosshair still didn't seem to like her much when they started to approach the planet. He stubbornly avoided her gaze. Hunter, on the other hand, seemed to be getting used to her presence, and since the conversation he had made suggestions about her plans from time to time and discussed possible enemies with her. Thanks to him, she now felt as prepared as she could be. Still, she was nervous and restless when she looked out the window and watched the storm outside. "Tech, can you get the signal from here-" A rum interrupted her and they held their breaths for two seconds, then a large head appeared in their field of vision. "What is that?", Wrecker grumbled. “A conspecific simple lizard. The locals worship these creatures because-” “Enough.”, Hunter interrupted Tech, drawing his gun. "Just get it off my ship." "Wait, maybe we should think first and then...", sighing, Ahsoka let the sentence end and ran after the clones into the open, it was no use anyway. Outside the sand pricked her eyes and her bared arms, damn it, she had left the robe inside! At least she was already wearing her backpack. She hastily drew out her lightsabers and got a quick overview. On the ship sat the, truly not pretty, lizard and growled at her with bared teeth. The clones had already opened fire when the back of her head began to tingle violently. Like Rex gave her a brotherly pat. She trusted that feeling. "Get down!", she barked and actually the others followed, just above them another flying reptile shot away and missed the Jedi by a hair's breadth. Ahsoka was immediately on her feet again, her gaze followed the attacker and his rider. If they didn't have to fight these locals, they'd be not stuck here! Maybe... "Wrecker, stand still!", she instructed harshly, the big clone looked at her with noticeable irritation. Right then her window opened. The attacker came down again, the claws already open. With one jump Ahsoka stood on Wrecker's shoulders, with another she landed on the flying reptile and snatched the reins from the rider.

 It was impressive how well the animal knew the way home. No sooner had Ahsoka relaxed the reins than it changed direction. Behind her she heard the ship start again and follow them, with a triumphant grin she glanced over her shoulder at the clones.

The flight did not last long, with short and powerful wingbeats the mount landed and Ahsoka swung down. With cries of surprise, the locals backed away from her and cocked their heads. With a grin, Ahsoka patted the reptile next to her briefly and then looked around, the clones were just about to land at the top of the basin in which the village was located. Sliding, they came down to her. "You could have warned us!" Hunter complained a few meters before he reached her and Ahsoka grinned at him. Then she turned to Tech, she wanted to get this done quickly. It wasn't sure if the Techno Union knew of their discovery and if they did, would they kill Echo? Dispose him? "You can translate, can't you?", she asked and Tech jerked his head. “What do you think I am? A protocol droid?", he muttered, but still seemed to get the right program on his glasses. “I want you to tell them about my brother. I will tell you everything you need to know and translate."

Ha, the line of pity had probably pulled! "They provide us with two scouts, they will show us the way to the city and then return home." Ahsoka nodded in agreement, that was a good deal. “Okay, that will do. The main thing is that we get to this damn city faster."

 The walk was shorter than expected. After about an hour of brisk walk, they stood on a small ledge and looked at the town in the distance. “Why do you build so high up here? There's nothing to see anyway.", Ahsoka mumbled and shook her head, somehow they would get in there. "I won’t wait for you this time, if you complain again.", Tech grumbled from behind her and astonished Ahsoka looked around at the others. "Wrecker is afraid of heights?", she asked and Wrecker shrugged his shoulders protectively. "No! I only have a problem with... gravity.", he grumbled and the hunched shoulders, the snapped apology, the hunched head. All of this reminded Ahsoka so much of all the younglings in the temple and the clones when they first realized that they were afraid. She couldn't help it, in her head Wrecker snapped like another piece of the puzzle into the picture of her family and a gentle smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "It's okay, I'll try to find an non-seethrough elevator.", she assured him jokingly and then got up. "We should go while the sandstorm can still cover us.", she urged the others to hurry and trotted ahead.

As soon as they had left the slipstream, Ahsoka had to pull the collar of her tunic up over her mouth and nose. The fine grains burned in her eyes, even when squeezed tightly together, it was hard to see anything. Sighing, she closed them. Back to her traditional training then. With a few deep breaths, she forced herself to calm down and let her mind explore the area in waves. Suddenly she realized how much life was hidden in this barren landscape. The little lights of the Techno Union were easy to see, they glowed cold and empty in front of her. But there was something else, it was practically magical. Even if it could hardly be described as alive, she knew that there was her goal. Half blind, she grabbed the wrist of the next clone behind her and dragged him behind her, the wrist too narrow to be Wreckers. Only when they were back in the shadow of the city and the wind eased a little did Ahsoka look up, open her eyes and look around. All the clones were hot on her heels, she had caught Tech and released his wrist from her grip. Then she looked around, there had to be an elevator somewhere! "Over there.", Tech nodded and was already trotting towards one of the pillars of the city, in fact it was adorned with a thickly armored door and a control panel. The group hurried after Tech with crouched heads and, grumbling, Ahsoka sought shelter from the wind behind the thick pillar. If the Techno Union thought they could keep a Jedi away with these weather conditions, then they had clearly underestimated the determination of such a person! She rubbed her bare arms with her rough fingers, the skin felt sore. As if they had been sandblasted. Terrible clothes for this planet, definitely. In addition, it was only half as warm as she had expected, the constant wind made her shiver. Had they flown in Echo and spared him that sand? What agony he had to suffer while she was moaning about such little things... "Are you done?", Hunter growled and Tech snorted, then the door slid open. "Take a look inside.", instructed Hunter Crosshair and the sniper disappeared into the dimly lit room with his weapon raised. A few seconds later his head reappeared. "Yes, thats a lift.", he commented dryly and Ahsoka grinned broadly, it actually earned her an amused shrug from the clone. Hey, he didn't hate her! Maybe this friendship wasn't lost yet? Still grinning, she pushed herself into the elevator, Wrecker hesitated. "Everything is fine Wrecker, I'll hold your hand too.", Hunter teased next to her and the massive clone snorted before squeezing into the narrow space and the doors closing.

As soon as the elevator began to move with a jerk, the grin disappeared from her face. Now the highest concentration was required, Echo's life perhaps depended on it! "Quick in and out, okay? We won't be able to hide our presence, but if we eliminate their droids quickly, they will take a while to regroup. ”Ahsoka explained to the small unit hastily and Wrecker thrust her on the shoulder enthusiastically. "I can do that!" Crosshair shook his head with a sigh, but still checked his weapon one last time. Then the doors suddenly opened and in a flash Ahsoka built herself up as a shield between the clones and droids. Wrecker didn't care, he ran past her with a loud roar and Ahsoka would lie if she said his strength hadn't impressed her a little. Hunter glided past her a little more elegantly and turned to the next opponent with less force but more precision. Tech and Crosshair rose behind her and fired over her shoulders. The shots so close to her ear hadn't frightened her for a long time now! The hangar they had arrived in was quickly emptied and when Ahsoka straightened up, Tech pulled out his datapad and switched it on. Crosshair, meanwhile, leaned forward a little and when he spoke, Ahsoka could hear his smile too. “You know, Jedi. I could get used to that.” “How nice that you like the sword and shield maneuver so much.”, she smiled back a little tense.

 At first Tech tried to catch the signal from Echo again. With every passing second, Ahsoka's impatience grew. "They seem to be interfering with my signal, seem to be well prepared.", the clone cursed and Ahsoka sighed deeply, it would take them forever to find Echo. "Leave it be Tech, I'll take care of it.", she hastily interrupted another wave of curses and Tech sighed deeply and painfully, as if Ahsoka had just stolen what he loved. Anyway, there was no time for such thoughts! Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and tried to open up to her surroundings. She had learned from Anakin to pursue goals with the force, so she should be able to find an echo from Echo in the force. Slowly she felt her way forward, away from the hangar in which they were standing and deeper into the city. She did not dare to linger with the members of the Techno Union. They weren't Force Sensitive, but who knows... Maybe they'd notice something after all? Only a tiny light, a weak spark, made her pause. It wasn't a uniform glow like the others, more like the flickering of a small candle flame. "That way!"

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

[that’s just what the cold really is]

Sometimes I wake up at one o’clock in the morning to drink some tea and write a briolet oneshot. 

Don’t ask why because I don’t know what this is either. 

Read on AO3

---

Frost kisses the glass, starting from the wooden frame and spreading across the window. Violet stares past the ice, allowing her mind to clear itself, content to exist and be. How long has she sat there, cross-legged on her desk, watching the stillness of the night? Who knows. Long enough for her nose to become cold enough it stung to breathe through it.

Pressing a finger against the foggy glass, Violet glides it across to draw two eyes and a smile. Dumb and lopsided, she thinks, before smearing away one of the eyes. 

With a sigh, Violet climbs off the desk, stiff muscles wincing as her bare feet hit the hardwood floors, so cold it almost hurts to walk. 

Another sleepless night in the beginnings of winter, not an unusual occurrence these days. Not when thoughts of the undead and loved ones long lost haunt the most inner workings of her mind, and not when the cold irritates her eye to the point where she could just rub it better.  

If only she could put some pressure on it, warm it up enough to be uncomfortably comfortable, but the healing process for the loss of an eyeball is apparently a long and agonizing one. Possibly more so than the actual removal itself, though that’s debatable-- Violet doesn’t have nightmares about healing.

No, these days she still has nightmares about a cell much colder than her dorm, about disfigured faces holding her down as she struggles, spitting more curses than pleas. Lilly’s smug voice echoes in her ear from far away and a woman with a cold, dead stare hovers over her, knife in hand as she commands her to stay still.

Violet reaches her arm out to grab the bar belonging to the top bunk of her bed, the metal cold enough to burn her fingertips. She lets her hand drag along it as she makes her way closer to the door. She wouldn’t want to accidentally walk too close and stub her toe again. 

The hallway’s just as dark and still, and it occurs to her that it might be dangerous to walk around here barefoot. Sure, the school’s clearer than it’s ever been thanks to Ruby putting her foot down about everyone being a bunch of pigs, but that doesn’t mean Violet won’t step on a missed piece of glass or a tracked in rock. 

Does that scare her enough to turn around and head back into the forlorn darkness of her dorm to try and get some sleep? 

Violet makes it down the hall with ease, keeping a hand dragging along to wall to steady her. Not that she really needs to do that. It’s not like she’s completely blind. She still has one eye that’s as good as new, but having only one good eye makes for some poor depth perception most of the time. 

The outside chill cuts right through the thin material of her shirt, sinking down into her bones to bring involuntary tremors through her limbs. Rubbing her arms in an attempt to warm them,  she ventures into the yard, setting her sight on the stairs leading into the admin building. 

She doubts anyone will be in the music room tonight, though she is a little hopeful that Louis might be there. She’d enjoy a song or two tonight, she thinks. He could always was make her laugh, and perhaps that’s what she needed right now. 

Louis has his fair share of sleepless nights, and like her, he wanders out here to the music room. Work out frustrations by ‘tickling the ivories,’ as he puts it, or to comfort himself after a bad dream. Violet just hopes that if he’s here tonight that he’s alone. While she enjoys the company of both Louis and Clementine, the two of them being in there together at this time of night probably wouldn’t be the most innocent outing. Violet’s lone eye can only unsee so many things. 

“Jesus,” she curses. A particularly harsh gust of wind nearly knocks her down as she climbs the stairs. “Yeah, great, thanks for that.”

Well, if they are in there together, at least they aren’t freezing their asses off. 

Violet glares up at the sky, wrinkling her nose at the thought. 

Hell, even if they’re both back at the dorms, they’re still warmer together than Violet is out here by herself. Everyone who remains in their bed is warmer than her. Probably. 

Her face softens, gaze falling down to the steps beneath her. 

Maybe cold nights exist as a reason to drawer people closer to one another, to seek and feel the natural warmth only they could provide. Except what does that mean for those who are cold but lonely? Maybe that’s just what the cold really is, Violet thinks. 

Loneliness. Huh. 

Shit.

Maybe it’s her pride or the fact that she’s never felt weaker than she has the past six or so months after escaping the delta’s clutch, leaving her eye with them. Fronting that she’s tougher than she really is made her feel better, acting as though she’s content being alone or that she doesn’t need to rely on others for help even if she knows it’s bullshit.

Doing this always bit her in the ass on nights just like this one. 

It’s silent within the admin building, so it’s safe to conclude that Louis isn’t here. 

She’d never admit her disappointment aloud, but that doesn’t stop the feeling from tugging at her gut. She really hoped he’d be here, hoped they could talk for a while. For as loud and obnoxious as Louis could be, he could listen just as well, be just as quiet and sincere. It’s stupid now to think that she once thought him incapable of serious, deep conversation, not that she ever gave him much of a chance. Not that he gave her much of a chance, either. 

Just a couple of dumbasses, she thinks. Oh well.

Violet turns the corner to see the door to the music room wide open, inviting her in. Moonlight leaks in through the curtain slits, reflecting off the floor and the old piano. Strangely, it doesn’t feel as cold in here. At least, not as much as it is outside, or even in the hallway. 

She approaches the piano, contemplating if she should sit down. She has no idea how to play, nor does she have any desire to. Resting a hand on the worn-out wood, she curiously admires the inner workings of the piano with all its strings and doohickeys. 

Louis offered to teach her once, and she told him that piano music sucks. He never made another offer. 

“Vi?” 

Violet nearly jumps a foot in the air. 

Whipping around, she finds Brody curled up on the couch with a thin blanket over her leg and a mug in hand, wide eyes gazing up at her. 

“Shit, sorry,” Brody apologizes, setting her mug on the table beside the armrest. “Didn’t mean to startle you. Just didn’t think you saw me and I didn’t want to be, well, creepin’ over here without ya knowin.’” 

Violet presses a hand against her frantic heart, taking a deep breath and nodding. 

“No, yeah, definitely didn’t see you. Y’know,” she motions to the patch over her eye, “blind spot.” 

Brody seems to stiffen up, but gives an unsure nod, face falling as she glances down at her hands. She stretches out her legs, making like she’s going to stand but changes her mind. 

Violet frowns, silently scolding herself. 

“What’re you doin’ up?” Brody finally asks. 

Violet gives a halfhearted shrug. 

“Can’t sleep. Obviously.”

“Your eye?” 

“Among other things.”

Brody nods once more, and Violet can’t help but stare at her, even though Brody can probably feel it. Even from here, and with her vision impairment, Brody’s scare is harshly prominent against her more delicate features. Right above her brow, long and discolored now, fully healed. 

Violet almost scoffs aloud. Fucking Marlon. She hopes he’s freezing his ass off living down in the old train station now. After what he did to Brody, after finding out what he did to Minnie and Sophie, they kicked him out of Ericson. And even after everything with the raiders, after Marlon helped them escape the boat before it exploded, he’s still not welcome here. 

Well, more so Marlon decided it’d be in everyone’s best interest if he didn’t live at Ericson anymore, instead settling in the train station so that he was close enough if they ever needed him. Everyone agreed, even Louis. That was a surprise, but he agreed that Marlon being here with them wouldn’t work anymore, and maybe knowing where Marlon was and that he was safe helped Louis be content with the decision. 

Violet’s just glad she doesn’t have to see him every day, and that he’s far away from Brody, but even gone he’s left marks all over this school... all over Brody’s face. 

“What about you?” Violet asks to break the awkward pause. “Can’t sleep either?”

“Nah,” Brody finally looks at her, tucking a wild strand of hair behind her ear. Bedhead, Violet thinks. Funny. “Tossin’ and turnin’ don’t suit me. If I’m gonna be awake, I might as well be outta bed and doin’ something.” 

“Something like sitting in the dark like a weirdo?”

That gets a small smile from Brody. 

“Yeah, somethin’ like that,” she says. “Just wanted some tea and a change of scenery. Wasn’t expecting company...” she trails off, but keeps her gaze on Violet as she quietly adds, “but it’s a welcome surprise.”

Violet almost smiles despite herself, having to bite the inside of her cheek. 

Ever since they lost the twins, things have been rocky with Brody. After Clementine and AJ showed up, Violet felt for the first time in a so long that her friendship with Brody was salvageable, that maybe they could be close again. Clementine forced her to see what was really bothering her about Brody and why things were so shitty between them, and Violet found herself wanting to fix it. 

Then the truth Marlon and Brody were hiding from them came out, and Violet was beyond pissed. Even with Brody lying in bed, bandages wrapped around her head and her skin sticky and pale, Violet hated her. 

Yeah, hated her. Hated her for lying to her face for over a year, for keeping that secret to hide her and Marlon’s guilt, for trying to grow close with her knowing what she had done. 

Violet never fathomed that she’d ever forgive Brody, but then Brody healed and could explain everything. 

Then the raiders attacked, and she and Brody were taken away, forced to share a cell on the raider’s boat. When Violet failed to cooperate, and they... well, Brody was the one to hold her, sob into her shoulder from within that cell.  

Suddenly, a lot of things didn’t seem to matter anymore. 

“You want some tea?” Brody offers, holding up her own mug. “It’s minty.”

“No, no...” Violet shakes her head, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. 

“It’ll warm ya up. Can see ya shakin’ from over here.”

“Maybe I like the cold.”

“No one likes the cold.”

“Maybe I do.”

Brody rolls her eyes, throwing the blanket off and standing. Over by the fireplace, she lights a match to ignite her makeshift warmer to boil more water. 

Violet abandons the piano, finding a place on the opposite side of the couch as Brody wanders about the room, humming to herself. She comes back with another blanket, this one heavier. Violet accepts gratefully, covering her body up to her chin.

Brody hands her to streaming mug, the scent of warm mint clearing her senses. Violet can’t help but groan after taking a sip, the heat spreading through her body. 

“Good?”

“It’s okay,” Violet lies. ”I guess.”

Brody smiles. Violet wonders how close she’ll sit now that she’s here, but Brody doesn’t move to do so. Instead, she grabs one of the candles off the piano, flicking a match to light it. Violet raises a brow up at her, which Brody meets with a playful shrug. 

“it’s cold,” she says simply, setting the candle down on the small round table. 

Violet can’t help it. She laughs. That makes Brody smile. 

Her laughter dies when the couch dips with Brody’s weight beside her. 

“C’mon,” Brody grins, tugging at the comforter. “Don’t be a hog.”

Violet doesn’t bother putting up a fight, lifting the blanket to let Brody scoot closer. Shoulder to shoulder, they get comfortable. 

“Y’know what I miss?” Brody asks. 

“Summer?”

“No-- well, actually yes, I do miss summer, but that’s not what I was gonna say,” she brings her long legs us, tucking them beneath her. This makes her lean more into Violet and it takes all her concentration to not spill hot tea over her hands. “I was thinkin’ that I miss jerky.”

“Jerky?”

“Yeah. I used to go on these trips once a year with my dad to see my grandpa. Was always just to two of us, and we’d be on the road for hours, but we’d stop at this gas station-- the same one every time, and he’d get us these long sticks of spicy jerky that you could barely chew without feelin’ like ya were gonna break a tooth.”

“Gross,” Violet wrinkles her nose. “Ever break a tooth?”

“Nah, not really. Sure made my jaw sore by the time I was finished, though. Take ya about an hour to get through the whole thing properly. But Daddy said that was the point. Ya gotta chew it long enough to get all the flavor outta it, otherwise, it’s just a waste.” 

“He couldn’t’ve brought you a hotdog or something?”

“You ever have a hotdog from a gas stop?” Brody makes a gagging noise. “Wouldn’t be surprised if those things were made of roadkill off the highway.” 

“How’s that any different than what we eat now?” Violet asks, teasing. “It’s just in stew form instead.”

“I’ll tell him you compared his famous stew to flea-bitten roadkill.” 

“Do it,” Violet challenges with a smirk, setting her tea aside. “I can take him.”

Brody snorts out a laugh, hand flying up to cover her mouth to muffle the outburst, managing an, “Oh god,” out. 

Once Brody gets a hold of herself, Violet says, “Never had jerky like that. Though I didn’t go on many road trips.” 

“We could go on one,” Brody suggests lightly, nudging her. “Get away from here, go find a beach somewhere and sit in the sun.”

“Only if I get to drive.” 

Brody, a soft smile tugging at her lips, wraps an arm around Violet’s shoulders to pull her close, gently rubbing more heat into her arm.

Despite the heaviness in Violet’s stomach, it flutters at the feeling of her body pressed against Brody’s. She hesitates, but eventually leans into the warmth of her side, resting her head in the crook of Brody’s neck while slipping her arms around her waist. 

“Can’t tell anyone we’re goin,’ though,” Brody mumbles. “I’m not spending days in a car with Louis and his singalongs.”

“Twenty-five bottles of beers on the wall, twenty-five bottles of beer-”

“Oh god.”

“-take one down--”

“No!”

“-pass it around-”

Brody’s hand presses over Violet’s mouth to silence her, all while the both of them laugh together. For the first time that night, Violet doesn’t feel a single chill prick at her skin. She pulls Brody’s hand from her face, holding it in her own. When Brody doesn’t pull away, she takes a risk in lacing their fingers together. 

Brody squeezes her hand back in approval. 

The laughter dies down. Brody pulls the blanket closer over them, and together they sit for a while. 

Just as Violet’s eye begins to droop shut, the fatigue finally hitting her, Brody’s lips press against her forehead. Violet thinks to turn her head up to kiss Brody back, really kiss her, but doesn’t. 

Too tired, too comfortable, too warm. 

Violet allows sleep to take her. 

[kthstrawberryshortcake]

BTS Reactions: One of the other members dislikes their s/o because of misunderstanding her personality

THE PREMISE: You’re shy, and while you are a lot of fun once you get to know people, you come across as extremely quiet around people you don’t know well. One of the other members misunderstands your personality.

A/N: This is unedited because I’m a trash gremlin lol it will be edited later

EDIT: okay I finally came back and edited it, although I did find some mixed tenses in some of them, and while I’m working on being better about avoiding that, I’m not going to fix it here. 

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Namjoon: Because you were so quiet, Jin found himself overcome with curiosity about what your relationship with Namjoon was truly like. He justified it to himself as concern that his best friend was with someone deserving of him, but it was a bit of nosiness as well. He was walking down the hallway in the dorms one day when he heard voices coming from Namjoon’s room. The door was just slightly ajar, enough to let sound carry into the hallway. Jin paused in the hall to listen, unable to help himself. All he heard was muffled voices before he heard you laugh loudly and say “Ew! You nasty! Come on, we both know I’d never ever be sexually attracted to you in the first place,” with a giggle. Jin saw red. Furious, he stormed into his own room and slammed the door, thinking about what he’d heard. Finally as you and all the boys were eating dinner he lost his cool. He stood abruptly, hissing at you that you were such a fake and that you weren’t worthy of Namjoon’s affection. “I don’t even know why you would be with her!” He exclaimed, causing the other boys to nervously exchange glances. Jin noticed and scoffed. “Please, she’s not an angel. Do you know what I overheard her say today when I walked down the hallway?” He repeated what he’d heard and the boys’ eyes grew wide, staring at you with shocked, horrified faces. All the color had drained from your face. Namjoon just looked completely caught off-guard, like he hadn’t fully processed Jin’s words yet. You took a deep breath, looking down at your hands. “Joonie, would you like to share what you said right before that?” You asked, looking up at him pointedly. Joon was blushing as he told them. “I’d just said ‘are your legs nutella because I’d like to spread them’.” He confessed in clear embarrassment. You finally made eye contact with Jin. “You don’t have to like me, but you should know that I was joking.” You told him, and Jin looked a little unsure. “I thought you didn’t have a sense of humor though…” He muttered, causing Namjoon to shake his head and reply, “She’s really shy around new people. She doesn’t know you guys well.” Jin kind of felt bad by then, but was still not convinced he was totally wrong. “How do we know you were actually joking?” He demanded, and you bit your lip nervously, exhaled, and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pulled the neckline of your sweater to the side. It revealed your collarbone which was decorated with several dark purple marks. Namjoon smirked. “It was a funny joke because she and I both know that’s the farthest thing from the truth, because she certainly wasn’t saying she wasn’t attracted to me last night.” Jin looked mortified, looking down at his food and eating in silence for the rest of the meal, clearly embarrassed. Meanwhile the other boys became slightly more comfortable joking around with you now that they knew what you were like when you weren’t so shy.

Jin:  Up until this point, you hadn’t had the chance to spend much time with the other members, so you were still very much in your shell around them. But tonight your lovely boyfriend was cooking dinner for everyone and you were going to be there as well, and while you were nervous, you were looking forward to getting to know the boys better. When you arrived at the dorm you greeted Jin with a kiss on the cheek and he smiled at you, asking if you were hungry since dinner was nearly ready. You replied that you definitely were, helping to move everything to the table once it was done. Whatever Jin had made smelled amazing. But when the food was put onto everyone’s plates you froze, realizing that he’d made jajangmyeon. Apparently he had forgotten that you couldn’t eat gluten, or at least forgotten that there was gluten in noodles. You knew Jin would feel awful about it when you reminded him, so you decided to wait until it wasn’t in front of the other members to bring it up. In the meantime you periodically picked up and put down bites of food to make it look like you were eating. You could feel Jin’s eyes on you, and you felt extremely guilty, even though you knew it wasn’t your fault. Meanwhile Hoseok was watching the whole thing, seeing the look of disappointment on Jin’s face as you didn’t eat. He felt furious, thinking that someone so impolite and inconsiderate didn’t deserve to be with Jin. Later after dinner you pulled Jin aside to speak privately about the food issue. As you’d anticipated he felt really terrible about forgetting your gluten allergy. You assured him that it was okay but told him you just didn’t want him to think you didn’t appreciate his cooking. With the misunderstanding cleared up, everything was good between the two of you and everyone sat around talking. Still shy with the members, you didn’t do a whole lot of participating. Your silence only made Hobi angrier until finally he lost his temper in the middle of a conversation. “What is your problem?!” He demanded, giving you a hard stare. Your eyebrows shot up and you blinked repeatedly in surprise. “Do you even care about Jin? Did you see his face when you just decided you weren’t going to eat the food he cooked? Why do you hardly ever speak in group conversation? What are you really doing here, because you’re not sincere about having feelings for Jin.” Hoseok accused, and it was everything you could do to keep your jaw from dropping open incredulously. Oh, but now he had seriously pissed Jin off. No one was allowed to speak to you that way. He admonished Hoseok for presuming to know anything about your relationship or your feelings before explaining that you didn’t choose not to eat dinner, you physically couldn’t eat it. You were being kind in not wanting to expose that he’d forgotten your gluten allergy in front of the whole group. “She’s been quiet because she’s really shy around new people, and I wonder why she’s uncomfortable speaking up, in that case, with the very warm welcome you’re giving her by judging and attacking her.” Jin snapped, and Hoseok looked ridiculously guilty and embarrassed. He later apologized to you and Jin both in private.

Yoongi:  Before you’d come over to the dorms for a game night, Yoongi had asked that you keep the PDA to an absolute bare minimum. He just knew that the maknae would take any opportunity to tease him, and he knew that as shy as you were you would absolutely hate that. You understood, agreeing. Still not having spent a great deal of time with the other members, you were nervous to be around them, but you were also excited to get to know the people who were most important to the man you loved. Throughout the night you were quiet as usual, and you tried to adhere to the minimum-physical-contact rule you and Yoongi had set in place as well as you could. Still, occasionally, before you could catch yourself, you’d find yourself reaching for his hand, or sitting close to him, or resting a hand on his shoulder. In all cases he shook you off as subtly as he could, first and foremost wanting to protect you from Jungkook’s teasing. You didn’t take this personally, understanding its purpose. However, Hoseok was watching the whole night, not missing the way Yoongi quickly pulled away from your every touch. At one point you got up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Hobi decided to follow you and have a little chat. He thought he was helping. You smiled at him when he entered the room, drinking your water in silence. “Listen, Y/N, you seem like a really sweet girl and that’s why I’m going to tell you this. Yoongi doesn’t actually like you. Don’t waste your time or risk getting hurt because you’re not picking up on the signals he’s putting out. He’s not the best at communicating his feelings so he probably doesn’t know how to let you down easy.” He said, completely shocking you. Before you could even speak, Yoongi appeared in the doorway behind Hoseok. “What the hell?! What do you think you’re doing telling MY girlfriend how I do or don’t feel about her?!” He demanded, positively furious. Now it was Hobi’s turn to be shocked. “I just — I thought — she’s so sweet and quiet, I didn’t want her to accidentally be led on… You practically jump away every time she touches you, you can’t tell me you’re serious about having feelings for her.” He let the words spill out, watching Yoongi grow angrier by the moment. “I’m dead fucking serious Hoseok, I love her. I was avoiding any sort of physical affection because she’s so shy and Jungkook teasing us for being lovey-dovey would be really uncomfortable for her.” He explained, fuming. He walked over and stood behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging you tightly as he kissed the top of your head. “If you were concerned you should have talked to me. I can’t believe you’d just assume you knew what was going on and try to scare her off.” Yoongi scoffed, taking your hand and leading you back into the living room to rejoin the others.

Hobi:  You knew that especially around new people, you seemed very very different from your boyfriend Hoseok. He was bright, bubbly, friendly, and outgoing, while you were quiet and much more subdued. You were a lot more fun to be around when you felt comfortable with the people around you, opening up and becoming a sillier, more relaxed version of yourself Thus far, however, there hadn’t been opportunities for the other members to see that version. As a byproduct of his concern for your comfort while surrounded by people you didn’t know well, Hoseok became much quieter than his usual self, focused on you and making sure you felt okay. Instead of bouncing around he stuck right to your side, holding your hand and watching your expression for signs of unease. Yoongi saw how much being with you changed his best friend and he was not happy about it. He hated the idea that, regardless of how nice a person you were or weren’t, Hobi would try to change who he was for you. One night at dinner Yoongi seemed extra annoyed and standoffish.  He watched closely as Hoseok spoke only a fraction as much as he normally would, too focused on you. Finally Yoongi had had enough. You had gone to the bathroom when he finally spoke up. “You’re so different around her. I don’t like it. It’s like you’re not you. I can’t see why you even like her.” Yoongi said, catching Hoseok totally off-guard. He was immediately annoyed. “Good thing she’s my girlfriend and not yours. You don’t need to see why I like her.” He snapped, causing Yoongi to roll his eyes. “You don’t have to be so defensive,  I just hate to see you with someone who dims your light.” You reentered the room just in time to hear this exchange. “You’re awfully hypocritical, don’t you think? For somebody who can be so reserved you’re being pretty judgmental of her for the same reason. And she doesn’t dim my light, if anything being around people she doesn’t know dims HER light, and I’m just making sure she’s okay. She’s a lot of fun if you give her a chance, she just has to get comfortable with you.” It warmed your heart to hear him defend you like that, though you felt extremely uncomfortable because of what Yoongi had said. When you settled back down into your seat beside Hobi you couldn’t hide the tears welling up in your eyes as you stared at the ground, not making eye contact. “I’m sorry for not being fun… I don’t want to bring anybody down.” You said quietly, trying not to break down. Hobi was staring at you with intense worry in his eyes. He rested his hand on your cheek and you finally looked at him. He kissed your forehead and then pulled you into a hug, holding you close to comfort you. He glared pointedly at Yoongi, who just looked away, feeling embarrassed for having been so quick to judge.

Jimin:  You were over at the dorms to get to know the other members better one day, knocking on the door and waiting for an answer. Taehyung answered the door, giving you a friendly smile and inviting you in. Your boyfriend Jimin came bounding down the hallway with an excited exclamation of “baby!” before he pulled you into a hug. You wince at the pain. He feels you tense and remembers, jumping back as if he’s been burned. Jungkook, who had been coming down the hall after Jimin, sees this and thinks you’re uncomfortable with physical affection. This worries him a lot, actually. He knows Jimin, what a cuddly person he is, how he needs that in his life. What would he be doing with someone who doesn’t want to be touched? Jimin mumbles a ’sorry’ with an apologetic smile, and you just smile back at him. “Want to play video games? The guys were just about to start, we could play too if you want.” He suggests, and you nod enthusiastically. Minutes later you’re watching intently as Jimin tries to beat Taehyung at whatever game they’re playing. Jungkook eyes you, taking note that you have still kept a safe distance from Jimin this whole time. He decides he has reason to be concerned. Later when it’s you against Jungkook, he elbows you in the side to try to cheat, and you drop the controller as you squeeze your eyes shut tightly at the pain you feel. Jimin jumps up, yelling Jungkook’s name in alarm due to worrying about you. Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Look, I don’t know why your girlfriend is so weird about people touching her, but come on, man, why would you want to be with somebody like that? You’re the touchiest person I know, are you gonna sit here and tell me you’re fine with being a minimum of a foot apart at all times?” he demands, sounding more irritated than angry. Jimin literally facepalms. “Jungkookie, you idiot. She has a broken rib! I forgot and when I hugged her it hurt so I jumped back. Just now when you elbowed her it probably REALLY fucking hurt. Are you okay, by the way?” He stops and looks at you in concern. You give a thumbs up though your face shows it still hurts a lot. Jungkook, not liking being wrong, huffs and demands, “fine, well what about how she never speaks? She’s not right for you.” He insists, making Jimin go from irritated to actually angry. “She doesn’t talk much around you because she’s shy around people she doesn’t know well. And no wonder, too, with how you’re treating her at the moment.” He snaps, surprising Jungkook with the venom in his voice. “And as for physical affection, she’s literally so much of a cuddle bug she could rival ME in that sense, she just has to be really careful because she’s hurt.” He hisses, giving Jungkook a glare before taking your hand and helping you up. “Let’s go lay down for a while, I’m sure it’s super painful.” Jimin says to you in a soft voice. You nod, blinking back tears from how much it hurts. With an apologetic glance at Taehyung and one last threatening stare at Jungkook, Jimin leads you down the hall to his room.

Taehyung:  You really, really wanted the other members to like you. Still, your shyness around new people made it difficult to befriend them quickly, so you had to have some patience there. Luckily Taehyung understood that perfectly, knowing how different you were once you felt comfortable with someone. Your desire for them to like you, however, actually made the shyness even worse. It made you extra self-conscious about being lovey-dovey with Tae in front of them, feeling super easily embarrassed. You found yourself dodging kisses, ducking out of hugs, and wiggling out from under his arm when he put it around your shoulders. You felt like everyone was watching you and it made you really, really uncomfortable. Taehyung understood, but frequently forgot, reverting to his natural touchy instincts without thought. He would jokingly pout at you when you avoiding attempts to show physical affection, but he wasn’t upset about it by any means. Jimin was super suspicious of his best friend’s new girlfriend, so he watched you closely whenever you were around. He noticed right away how you didn’t seem to want Taehyung to touch you and he didn’t like it one bit. What kind of girlfriend didn’t ever want her boyfriend to touch her, even in little ways? Not the kind that would make Tae happy, Jimin thought. Luckily for Jimin, when he decided to bring the topic up to Taehyung, you weren’t around. Tae would’ve been ready to kill him for upsetting you needlessly. Jimin expressed his concerns about you not being the right person for Tae, explaining that especially how you avoided his touch was worrisome to him. This made Taehyung really, really mad, and he told Jimin as much. He explained how your shyness made you extra embarrassed about PDA, particularly because of your desire for the boys to like you. Before Jimin could even look regretful, Taehyung left the room in a huff, not believing how judgmental Jimin had been for basically no reason. Late that night you and Tae had been watching Netflix when you fell asleep cuddling. You were laying on top of him, your legs on either side of him and your arms around his neck as your head rested against his shoulder. It was almost koala-like, the position you found yourself in, fast asleep. Tae was thinking about his conversation with Jimin until he had an idea. He took a selfie of the two of you cuddling like you were so it was clear how you both were situated. He send it to Jimin with the caption “You’re totally right, my girlfriend hates to be touched.“.

Jungkook: Jungkook knew how nervous you were to hang out with the other members, and he could understand why. You were super shy around people you didn’t know and you’d only met them a handful of times before. So when he invited you over to have dinner with everyone he was prepared to make absolutely certain you felt comfortable and welcome. Throughout the evening Jungkook was a lot more subdued than he normally would be and watched you carefully to be sure you were doing okay. Namjoon saw the change in Jungkook’s personality. It really worried him. He already didn’t like that you were a couple of years older than Jungkook. The thought that you could end up being manipulative toward him seemed like a very real danger, in Namjoon’s opinion. When he saw how closely Jungkook was watching your facial expressions and reactions, he felt like his fears were confirmed. Joon decided that you were a super controlling girlfriend that treated Jungkook like a baby because he was younger, and Jungkook was watching you to make sure he hadn’t angered you. After dinner, Joon asked to speak to Jungkook privately. When Jungkook looked at you nervously, agreeing to go only when you offered a small smile, Namjoon felt even more certain of his conclusion. He told Jungkook about what he had observed, watching as Jungkook because visibly upset. “If anyone is treating me like a baby here, it’s you, hyung. You think you can just make conclusions about my relationship based on an hour of observation? Why wouldn’t you just ask me about it first, anyway? Am I such a helpless child to you that I can’t make my own choices?” He demanded, clearly angry. “She’s not controlling. Far from it. She’s extremely shy and was nervous about coming here tonight, so I’ve been keeping an eye on her to make sure she’s okay. I guess she had reason to be worried, since you’ve taken upon yourself to decide she’s manipulating me. You’re right, I’m not a baby anymore, but if anyone needs to get that through their head, it’s you.” He snapped, hurt that his absolute hero would treat him this way. He stormed out, returning to your side and wrapping a protective arm around you. Namjoon felt so, so guilty. He’d been afraid that Jungkook was being treated like a child when he ended up being guilty of that himself. The very signs he’d taken to mean you were manipulating him were actually Jungkook being mature and considerate. He’d been unfair to you and Jungkook both, and he needed to make it up to you.

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Feedback please! I loooooove it ;) <3 

[marvelous-imagines]

Brightest star

Starlord/Peter quill x reader!

Summary: being friends with Peter ever since the reader and he was both young, the reader had grown feelings for him, a rather large crush. Things never changed when they was both abducted and became guardians of the galaxy....

Warnings: language. Slight Angst. Fluff

You couldn't help but watch with growing annoyance at your friend, watching how he shamelessly flirts with gamora. You scoff when he leans closer to her, clearly annoying her, as he tried to flirt his way into her heart. You tear your angered eyes off the two and watch the zooming star's among the galaxy, rocket piloting the ship through space skillfully.

"why are you glaring at the stars like they murdered you're whole family?" rocket asks, making you look at him with a deep sigh.

"I'm not!" you retort as you began playing with the necklace Peter gifted you a few years ago for your birthday, the pendent a little replica of saturn, the word's 'to the brightest star in the whole galaxy' engraved on the rings of the planet. Although you found it to be a little cliché, considering you was both in space, you loved it. It was the best gift ever.

"yes you are, why are lying?" he said bringing you out of the memory of how you got the necklace. "what's up?" he asks genuinely concerned about you, especially since you wasn't one for really letting anger get to you. You always opted for a less violent suggestion of things, which you found to be hard when with the crew you called friends.

"nothings wrong rocket, I'm just -

"pissed at the stars?" he cut your words off with a snicker. You roll your eyes and shake your head, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the feeling of utter sadness and anger.

"I'm not pissed at the stars... I'm pissed at starlord" you grumbled quietly but rocket heard, the fury little raccoon looks over his shoulder at peter and gamora, the woman taking her knee and hitting Peter in the stomach making him groan and fall to the floor while she walks off. Rocket snickering, looks back at you, oblivious to the what just happened.

"you ain't the only pissed at him" he said, groot agreeing with a amused smile, "but even though we all get pissed at him all the time, it's a bit unusual for you to be, what'd he do?" rocket prys. You look away from the necklace and at rocket, sighing when you realize you can't tell rocket your in love with Peter, he'd instantly tell or laugh at you...just the thought was embarrassing. So you just stand up from your seat walking away, heading to the little storage closet you call a bedroom. But on your way there peter tried talking to you, asking for help or something.

But you ignored him and shut your door behind you. Sulking away in your room....

Watching from the floor with confusion and in great pain, Peter stood up, clutching at his hurt stomach watching y/n slam the door shut behind her. He lifts a curious questioning brow at drax who had been laughing hysterically at peter and gamora.

"what's her problem?" Peter asks, never really having seen his best friends angry side. That was unusual for the usually calm and peace baring woman. Drax wipes tears from his eyes from how hard he was laughing at peter.

"maybe she's just tired" the large man spoke breathlessly little chuckles escaping from him. Peter rolls his eyes and slightly limps over to the cockpit of the ship, spotting rocket and groot arguing about something.

"hey, do you two now what's up with y/n, she seems mad about something?" Peter asks, groot looks to rocket and rocket looks up at peter with a shrug.

"she told me she was pissed at you, that's you're problem to solve quill" the raccoon focuses back on the galaxy in front of him as he pilot's the ship.

"pissed at me? What the hell did I do?!" he exclaimed with confusion, last time he checked he hasn't done anything wrong, nor has he said anything insulting about her. He would never do that, he cared about y/n to much to speak anything negative about her.

"like I said quill, that's you're problem to solve" rocket repeated himself. Peter sighs muttering sarcastically about what great help rocket was. But before Peter could walk away rocket turns around to face him fully in the pilot seat. Eye's fixated on the star-lord, "just to throw you a bone quill, I think it has something to do with your insistent flirting with gamora" Peter looks at the fury small raccoon with a deep confused expression.

"why would that bother her?" he spoke with a seriousness, something uncommon for Peter.

"perhaps because she cares about you, somehow..." rocket said his last sentence with disgust as he looks over peter with a grimace.

Offended peter flips rocket the bird and walks off, that only made rocket laugh, "what a loser" he muttered while continuing his duty.

Laid out on the small uncomfortable cot, you look over the pendent with a frown. When Peter had first given it to you, you had thought he was going to kiss you, it was a wonderful memory, the best day of your life actually...

The stars was beautiful in the galaxy, a pink and dark purple dust floating around the galaxy. You watched out of the large windshield of the spaceship, everyone else asleep as you and Peter was the only one's up. You nearly jump when you felt a warm hand on your shoulder, you look only to be greeted with the gentle soft green with swirling brown eye's staring down at you, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"I didn't mean to startle you birthday girl" he said quietly as he takes his seat beside you back in the pilot seat. "which reminds me, here's a little present for you, it's not much but he kinda reminded me of you" he digs around in his pocket until he found a horribly wrapped small box, handing it to you.

You take it and smile at him widely, "Peter you didn't have to get me anything" you told him. He shrugs and urges you to open it all the while watching you with anticipation. That made you smile even more as you tore it open, eye's lighting up with admiration at the necklace inside. You pull it out and look at the planet shaped necklace with a fond smile. Looking over at peter with a pure love.

"Peter... It's perfect, I love it! Thank you so much!" you excitedly exclaimed, he shrugs once more with a little laugh when you jump from your seat and practically yank him up and into a tight warm hug.

"you haven't even read the engraving on it yet" he laughs at you, you pull back slightly, still rather close as your chests nearly touched. You look over the pendent and spot writing on the ring, "to the brightest star in the galaxy..." he muttered as you read it. You felt a wave of emotions wash over you, tears swimming in your eye's as you felt touched by his gift...

He looked down at you with a look only one could describe as love, his green eye's locked on yours as he placed his hand on your waist, face inching closer to your own. Your heart was pounding, beating against your chest in anticipation, the longing you've felt for Peter threatened to escape, the urge to just grab him by his shirt and close the distance between you both was tempting. But you wanted him to go at his own pace, to let your lips meet slowly.

But it never came, he pushed you away, said happy birthday and went back to sit in the pilot seat, ignoring you for days after that....

You sigh and jump out of your skin when you hear a knock on the door frame, knuckles rasping against metal. You look up only to see the red haired man you really didn't want to see right now.

"a little sarcastic, slightly on the major dick weed side, raccoon told me you was pissed at me" he spoke, watching your expression carefully. You sigh and roll your eyes, of course rocket told him.

"just get out peter, I don't want to see right now" you spoke bitterly, looking away from him as you sat up in bed, hands gripping the edges of it tightly as you look down at the ground.

Walking inside the room and closing the door behind him, he walks so now he's standing in front of you, speaking once more much to your dismay.

"that same sarcastic dickweed told me that you might be mad at me because of the fact that you think I'm flirting with gamora, when clearly I'm not-

"think you're flirting?! Peter you're totally flirting with her! What do you take me as stupid!?" you stand up yelling at him, the pent up anger rolling out of you. Peter's eyes go wide with a slight panic as he shakes his head.

"what? No, no! You're not stupid, I don't think you are -

"then why lie to me? Everyone knows that you flirt with gamora on a daily basis!" you yell while pointing a finger at him, jabbing it into his muscular chest.

"I don't know! Because she's hot?!" he says with a raised confused and questioning voice. You stare at him as tears swell up in your eye's. Of course he would say that, gamora was beautiful, gorgeous and a total badass. What was you? A quiet, scared of everything loser. You couldn't never compare to gamora...it was only necessary for the flirtatious handsome man you had as a friend to find her attractive. How could Peter love you when he had her?

You felt all anger wash away, staring into those soft green eyes with a hint of brown swirling amongst the beautiful orbs. "then what the hell are you doing in here when you can be out there with her?" you ask quietly, voice breaking a bit. You felt as if your heart had been ripped out of your chest and ripped into a million peices.

"no, y/n that's not what I meant - that's far from what I was trying to say..." he tried to explain himself only to trail off at the tears streaming down your face, "why are you crying?" he asks softly, concern dripping from his voice.

You hadn't even noticed that you was crying until then. You wipe your tears away roughly and turn away from Peter, "just get out" you whimper. But he places a large hand on your shoulder spinning you around and wrapping his arms around you, holding you close as you cry into his chest.

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me... What's wrong?" he asks softly yet sternly. You wait a few minutes calming down some before answering him, taking in how he gently sways you both while humming a song. It makes your heart ache, knowing that you was going to tell him the truth, knowing he wouldn't talk to you afterwards....

"I - I really care about you peter..." you force out and he stops, brows netted in confusion as he cups your cheek and makes you look up at him.

"and I care about you y/n... Explain why you're crying?" he said and you sigh, annoyance bubbling up inside you once more at how oblivious he was.

"Peter, I mean I really, really care about you..." you whisper while looking up at him, eye's glistening with tears as realization starts to sparkle in his own.

"oh, like a more then friends type of thing..." he said, and you nod, looking away from him as your lip trembles. He didn't feel the same and now you ruined your friendship.

"I'm sorry, this stupid - I'm stupid for saying anything -

"y/n slow down! You're not stupid" he laughs at your rambling grabbing your face in both his hands gently making you look up at him, his gaze glued to you, "I love you..." he muttered, the truth behind his words couldn't be mistaken. You feel your heart being mended and fluttering at his confession.

"I love you too" you whisper back with a blooming smile, Peter chuckles while pressing his forehead against yours, nose bumbling yours in a loving way.

"I wanted to tell you the day I gave you that necklace... But I chickened out" he confessed eye's closing as your flutter shut as well.

"that would have been the best birthday present ever" you tell him with a little smile, he let's a breathy laugh escape his lips, breath fanning against your face.

"what if I had kissed you?" he teases, swaying you both. You feel your heart pounding against your chest, eye's opening to look at him only to find he had been gazing at you... You bring a hand up to delicately carress his red scruff adorning his cheeks. The little hairs tickling your palm.

"then it would have been the best day of my entire life..." you whisper, watching how his eye's fall to your lips, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip as he looks back into your eye's.

"can I kiss you?"

"you don't even have to ask"

And with that said, he pressed his lips against yours. His lips was soft, dancing with yours in a slow loving dance. He tasted sweet, like honey with a mixture of something utterly him. You melt into the kiss, loving every second as he wraps his arm around your waist as his hand on your cheek brings you closer, deepening the kiss by nibbling at your bottom lip. Just as you are about to a part your lips the sound of someone dramatically gagging makes you and Peter part, breaking the kiss reluctantly.

You blush madly, Peter holding you against him with a arm slung around you, your cheek pressed against his chest. You both look at the door seeing rocket standing their with a face of disgust.

"oh my God! I'm gonna puke! Get a room you two!" rocket exclaimed while gagging. You and Peter both roll your eyes.

"we have a room rodent and you're standing in it!" Peter pointed out while rocket grimaced.

"I thought it was mine asshole!" he fired back, shaking his head, "I'll never be able to erase that horrific disgusting image out of brain, quill and y/n sucking each other's faces off...." rocket grumbled while walking away leaving the door open. You giggle a little bit as Peter yells after him.

"you could have shut the door at least!" he yelled, shaking his head as he looks down at you with a smirk, "now where were we?" he starts leaning down to kiss you, only to stop midway when drax enters your room.

"the tiny rodent blew my room up with a gun misfire, I have to sleep in here with y/n" he spoke while casually throwing a pillow and blanket on the floor and laying down. Looking at you and Peter, "you can continue" he said.

"dude?! What's is wrong with you?!. Jesus christ.... Okay y/n were going to my room" Peter said, taking your hand and leading you out of the room. You giggle and feel a happiness fill your heart that you've missed dearly. Who would ever thought peter quill would actually love you back.....

A/n: I hope whoever reads this enjoys it! Also I'm taking up requests for any marvel characters if anyone wants to request?

[spitefulinamillionways]

one shot idea: maybe how the family would react to beej having something like a panic attack or a nightmare? honestly i just love fics where they help him when he’s vulnerable (also if you ever want to post some art i would love to see it!)

awh, now i’m thinking about how juno would react to beej’s panic attacks..

•

Betelgeuse woke up in a cold sweat. He frantically looked around his small room, the old storage closet, before taking a deep breath and getting out of bed, throwing the blanket on the ground. He rushed into the kitchen and snatched a cup out of the cupboard, though many followed and landed on the floor, smashing everywhere.

“Shit!” He hissed, quickly trying to pick up all the shards of glass, cutting himself accidentally in the process. He wiped his hand on his shirt before being stopped by the light being turned on and a quiet, tired voice speaking up from the other side of the kitchen.

“Beej? What are you doing so late at night?” Lydia mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

“Oh, uh, I-” He was interrupted by Lydia shushing him, “I just..wanted to get a drink of water.” He whispered, looking back down at the glass, picking up the last few shards and throwing them away.

“Ghosts don’t need to drink water though...” She leaned against the door, half asleep. The door to the kitchen was opened again, causing Lydia to fall over and catch herself.

“What’s going on in here?” Barbara and Adam rushed through the door, both looking equally as concerned as the other.

“I just..wanted a drink..” Betelgeuse sat on the counter and filled a half-smashed cup with water, then drank it slowly. He was about to throw it into the sink, but even he realised how dumb of an idea that was. He put the cup down next to him and looked back up at the three, getting a proper look at them and sighed in relief. Thank god they were actually okay..

“Okay, but why did you smash so many cups?” Barbara asked, crossing her arms.

“I was in a hurry.” He mumbled, dangling his feet at the end of the counter and picking his fingernails.

Lydia sat next to him on the counter, looking at the cup. How the hell did he drink out of this?

“What hurry? It’s not like anybody was stopping you.” Lydia put the cup down and looked straight at Betelgeuse.

Betelgeuse stared right back at Lydia, which made her roll her eyes and turn to the Maitlands, shrugging. The two sighed and walked over to him.

“You can tell us if anything happened.” Adam reassured, holding Betelgeuse’s arm. After a couple moments of silence, he finally said something.

“Well, I- Okay..so, you all would never leave me, would you?” Betelgeuse began, “Like..you know what I mean. Abandon me or just..I don’t fucking know..” He seemed a lot quieter than usual and couldn’t even keep eye contact with any of them. Another silence fell upon the room.

“Beej..why would we ever do that? At this point, it’s like a kid asking their parents if they’d ever put them up for adoption or...I don’t know, a person asking the person they’re dating if they’d ever just break up with them for no reason!” Lydia explained, putting her hand on the demon’s back, who’s hair was now a deep purple. The Maitlands nodded and looked at eachother, feeling almost pity for the poor thing.

“Uh, yeah, you’re right, I’ll go back to bed now.” Betelgeuse quickly got up and began speed-walking out the door, before being grabbed by his shirt and pulled back.

“We aren’t done yet. We still don’t know what happened.” Barbara sat him down on the chair, to which he promptly stood back up. Barbara pushed him back down on the chair, with more force this time. Betelgeuse sat there fairly awkwardly, resting his head on his hand.

“What is this, a police interrogation?” He asked with a gruff and mumbly tone. Lydia stood up, took a flashlight and shone it in his face.

“No. It’s actually a kidnapping. Tell us all you know about what happened.” She shone the flashlight straight in his eyes, Betelgeuse not even flinching a bit.

“Yeah. We’re not letting you go!” Adam laughed and took another chair for himself.

“Ooh, kinky.” Betelgeuse looked at Adam, who just rolled his eyes, still smiling.

“Whatever you say, bucko.” Adam replied, to Betelgeuse’s surprise.

Barbara raised her eyebrows at Betelgeuse before taking the flashlight and shone it straight in his eyes. She noticed he didn’t seem to care so she gave up and gave it back to Lydia. She tried to think of reasons why Betelgeuse would be acting out all of a sudden. I mean, now he seemed like his usual self but before that. His ‘quiet and nervous-ish’ side, which he apparently had.

“Seriously, though, what happened?” She asked, leaning on the chair Adam was sitting on, “Why did you ask that?”

“It doesn’t matter. You guys should go back to bed.” Betelgeuse looked away again, raising his shoulders slightly, “I’ll go too...”

Why did this demon have to be so stubborn? Was he that protective of his pride that he couldn’t even talk about his feelings? Well, getting into the specifics, that is.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Adam finally asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I- Adam, I’m not scared of anything. Why would I have nightmares?” Betelgeuse looked disappointed, like how a mother would look at a child when their report card turns out to be shit. The ‘I-thought-you-were-better-than-this’ look.

“You sure do seem to be terrified of being abandoned.” Lydia muttered, playing with the flashlight.

“Well, maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” He shrugged, smirking. The smirk slowly went down once he realised how obvious it was that, yes, he was terrified of being abandoned, “Maybe I am..”

“Well, what was your nightmare about? Did we abandon you or something?” Barbara asked, standing closer to Betelgeuse now.

“Look, I- Do we have to talk about this now?!” He raised his voice slightly, thank god/satan Charles was a heavy sleeper. He sat in silence for a little bit, everyone else around him talking, or at least trying to. The longer he thought about what had happened, the worse it got. He went from lightly picking at his nails to fully biting them and from feeling fairly uncomfortable to tears welling up in his eyes.

“It’s just that I-” He mumbled, his voice breaking, which only pissed him off more. He usually only cried to other people when something big was happening. Not now. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real. Nothing like that would ever happen. Never.

“Beej?- Are you okay?” Lydia looked slightly concerned at the state of him. Betelgeuse looked up at her, his face red and hands shaking. He tried talking but nothing came out. The three quickly tried calming him as frantically as they could. But he couldn’t hear. He didn’t hear. All he heard was her. Her shouts and screams, hurting the people he loved and cared for all because of a dumb mistake he made. It was his fault. It was always his fault. Any fuckup she made or even anyone made, it was always him. He was always trailed back to it somehow, in some way. He was probably a fuckup in itself, it’s not like she ever cared of what he thought about or had to say. She deserved to die. She’s never coming back.

His thoughts were interrupted all of a sudden.

“Betelgeuse, we’d never leave you! None of us would, we promise. You’re part of the family now. We can’t just...leave you.” Lydia explained, tilting her head slightly.

Betelgeuse looked at her as if he didn’t believe a word she’d said, but accepted it anyway. It’s what he’d like to believe, too. He quickly stood up and hugged Lydia, something the two hadn’t done in a while. It lasted for over a minute, the Maitlands slowly joining in too.

“Thank you, guys...I just think-” Betelgeuse was interrupted, yet again, by Lydia.

“Nope! Don’t wanna hear it! Anything negative you have to say right now, just- No!” She held everyone tighter, smiling.

Betelgeuse laughed and let go of them, though slightly hesitating to do so. He sat back down and wiped his face, sighing shakily. The room was silent for a while, as if to process what had just went on.

“Really though. Thank you. It sounds cheesy because it is and I hate saying this kind of shit as you hate hearing it but I just..I don’t know. Forget it.” His talking slowly turned to mumbling and rambling. He wasn’t good at showing he cared for someone, “I..really don’t deserve you all.”

•

healdjksjf sorry if this isn’t good!! i’m writing this late at night because i completely forgot to check my inbox until now at like 2am like a dumbass,,,

if i made any grammar mistakes or the writing is just bad i’ll probably re read and rewrite some of it in the morning when i can, so if i did make any mistakes just wait a bit and they’ll be fixed soon!!!

i actually really had a lot of fun writing this! it was kinda difficult to keep beej in character throughout the whole thing, but in the end i think i did at least a little decently, right? i don’t know. you be the judge

thank you so much for always sending me asks when i make posts about it, i really appreciate it!

[despressolattes]

CONSEQUENCES | CHAPTER EIGHT | LEGACIES/THE ORIGINALS

BOOK THREE IN THE SIDE CHARACTER/LILAH SERIES

book one masterlist » book two masterlist

this book’s masterlist

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─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

In his state of half-consciousness where he kept drifting in and out of being awake, Roman was able to mumble the address of the apartment complex he had been staying at. Lilah cursed herself softly as she drove with him, trying to figure out when she lost her mind as to go against something the Mikaelson siblings were doing.

Sure, in the past, they had their arguments about situations, but she had practically made a statement to them with her latest decision. It was like she was choosing Roman over always and forever.

She pulled her car into an empty spot on the street in front of his complex, pausing as she looked at him, barely awake in her passenger seat.

"Which room?" she asked softly, hearing his light groans as he got to his feet. He blinked a few times, trying to keep his eyes open.

He mumbled which one to her, and she struggled trying to figure out which direction it was in. When she made it to the door, she asked, "Keys?"

"Front pocket," he said softly.

She cringed, feeling slightly uncomfortable as she dug through his front pocket for his keys. She got the door open and got him inside, letting him go when she got to his living room. He leaned over, laying down. She looked down at her arm that had been holding him up, noticing blood that she hadn't noticed before. His back must've been cut up, which means her car seats needed a cleaning.

She sighed and wandered around until she found the bathroom, going inside and washing her arms. She opened a few cabinets before finding towels, grabbing one so she could get Roman cleaned up.

Before making her way back to him, she walked into his fridge. She let out a breath of relief when she saw that he had blood bags. She grabbed one, going over to the couch that she also realized might be stained with blood.

That's one thing that sucked about being a vampire that gets hurt with vervain. It takes a bit longer for their wounds to heal.

She got back to the couch, sitting him up.

"C'mere," she said softly, pulling his shirt up and off, discarding it behind her. She sat next to him, having him lean forward as she looked at his back. There was fresh wounds, as if they had hit him with something laced with vervain. She winced, placing the wet towel she had onto it, and he jerked forward at the contact. "I'm sorry."

She placed the blood bag in front of him, knowing how the Mikaelsons were the type to try to drain people of blood. He snatched it from her, his eyes turning red and the veins around them turning black as he drank it up. His healing seemed to kick in with the help of the blood, and she continued to pat the dried blood off of his skin. The vervain marks on his arms were healing, and before she knew it, the wounds closed. He was just left with a back with dried blood.

He sat there in silence, fully conscious now. When she was done and the white towel was now a pink color, she got up. She grabbed his shirt from the floor, going to discard of the two, but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back to look at him.

He looked up at her through his long blond hair, and she could see him swallow as he tried to find the words to say.

"Why did you do that?" he asked her after a moment, the big money making question everyone seemed to want to know. "You probably pissed off the Mikaelsons."

"They'll get over it," Lilah replied. "And I don't know why I did that. Josh said that they had you, and there was a voice in my head that decided I wasn't leaving until I got you out of there."

He let go of her wrist, and she wandered through his apartment, finding his bedroom. She placed the bloodied shirt and towel into the trashcan in the master bathroom, before looking at the picture frame sitting on his bedside table, sitting in front of a teddy bear.

She picked it up, looking at it. It was him and Antoinette, the vampire that Elijah had fallen in love with once upon a time, when the Mikaelsons had the Hollow in them. He had moved to France without his memories, where he met her.

"I'm sorry I lied to you."

She jumped, nearly dropped the picture frame. She placed it back down, looking behind her to see shirtless Roman walking inside, going to his drawer to grab a new shirt.

"Why did you?" she asked. "Why did you tell me your name was Roman Bauer?"

"Because I thought you'd react the way the Mikaelsons had," he replied. "I'm a Sienna, my family's done bad things."

"Join the club, Roman Sienna. I run with the Mikaelsons, notorious for doing bad things," Lilah exclaimed back, sitting down on his bed. He sat down next to her. "Just answer this: did you play a part in Hayley's death?"

Roman looked down, slowly nodding.

A tear fell down Lilah's cheek that she wiped away quickly.

"Greta and Antoinette were my adoptive family. I had lost my family to werewolves when I was little. And Klaus killed my adoptive dad because of his ideology that werewolves were bad, and he had been killing them, but Klaus spared my mom, my sister, and I. When I got desiccated in a cave for fifty years, Greta looked for me everywhere and saved me. So, as time went on, my mom had a vendetta towards Klaus and a hatred for werewolves," he explained.

"And Hayley was a way of hitting two birds with one stone," nodded Lilah. "Cared about by Klaus Mikaelson and a werewolf."

"She wanted to get rid fo all of the hybrids," Roman continued to explain. "She told me that Hayley would go free. That she'd just have a witch suppress her werewolf side. I was told she was going to live."

"But she didn't."

"When I found out my mom lied, I tried to reason with her," Roman explained.

"That's why Rebekah saw you in New Orleans two years ago. Because you were helping Greta."

"She actually wanted me to get close to you," Roman told her.

Lilah's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Why me?"

"A gorgeous vampire about my age that's close to the Mikaelsons without actually being one?" he replied, and Lilah blushed. "She thought you were the perfect entrance into taking Hayley."

"But I never met you."

"I told her I wouldn't do it," Roman replied. "I saw you, Josh, and that witch Davina walking down Bourban street, the smiles on your guys's faces. I heard from Emmett and the other vampires of the constant drama and bloodshed in this town that you guys had to endure for that family. I couldn't be the reason you were apart of more."

"Hayley was one of my best friends," Lilah said, tears still falling from her face. "I helped her through her vampirism transition. I helped her with her boy problems. Did Antoinette know about any of this?"

He shook his head, "Antoinette was happy in France with..."

"Elijah," Lilah nodded, wiping her face.

"Do you blame me? For what happened to them?"

She shook her head, tears still falling down her face as she relieved her grief for Hayley and Elijah after hearing Roman's story.

"No, I don't," she shook her head, and she stood up trying to collect herself. She took a deep breath and looked back at him and said, "If I blamed people for the actions of their family, or even just things they did in the name of family, I wouldn't love the Mikaelsons. I mean... I love the fuck out of Elijah and Freya, and they had killed Davina at one point. There's unforgivable things that the Mikaelsons have done that I have forgiven them for because I love them. I can't just hate you or blame you for something you didn't even do, I can't just write you off like that. It wouldn't be fair."

Her phone rang, and she looked at it to see it was Davina calling.

"I have to handle this," Lilah said to him, and he nodded. She walked out of his room into the living room, placing her phone to her ear. "How much trouble am I in?"

"We're just trying to figure out where your head is right now, Lils," Davina said on the other side of the line. "Roman's mom killed Hayley, and you barely even know him."

"And Klaus killed Roman's dad," Lilah sighed. "I understand that we all love Hayley, but we also know that people's family does shitty things. Kol forgave his siblings for what they did to you, didn't they?"

"Just stay safe, Lilah," Davina said. "Rebekah's pissed off that you 'dared defy her,' and she's talking like Klaus."

"It's okay, Bex will calm down eventually," replied Lilah, not scared for herself. Even if Rebekah was mad at her, Lilah knew Rebekah couldn't kill her.

"Is this boy worth it?" Davina asked her. "You just met him."

She looked at the hallway, the answer leaving her mouth before she could even think about it, "Some voice in my head keeps telling me he's one of the good ones."

She walked back into Roman's room after she and Davina hung up. Roman looked up at her as she ventured further into him room.

She looked back at his bedside table, picking up the bear that was next to the picture frame. She held it in her hands, something about it so familiar yet so foreign. She closed her eyes involuntarily when she grabbed it, seeing a glimpse of of a fuzzy image.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Tonight, you stay on the call with me. We just talk tonight, and you can stress about everything, but in the comfort of your own room," a distorted voice said.

She was looking down at a computer screen, but unable to make out who was on it as she laid down comfortably on her bed, in a room she didn't recognize.

"Thank you," she said. Her hand reached for something, and she the only thing she could recognize in whatever she was seeing was the teddy bear, moving one of the arms to wave at the camera. "Bear and I, we miss you."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Where'd you get this?" she asked.

Roman stared at it, blinking a few times with a dumbfounded expression.

"Honestly?" he asked, grabbing it and looking at it with furrowed eyebrows. "I have no idea."

He shrugged, brushing it off and reaching over her to put it back behind his picture frame.

"Are the Mikaelsons going to find you and stake you for helping the enemy?" he questioned her, and she shook her head no.

"Don't worry about me and the Mikaelsons. I'm included in Always & Forever."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

She got home late, leaving Roman after she was positive that he would be okay. When she walked into her bedroom, she nearly had her third heart attack of the day when she saw Lorelle sitting there, in the dark yet again, but this time, on her bed.

"What the hell?!" she whisper yelled. "Why do you keep breaking and entering into my places?!"

"I'm your mother, Lilah Rae, I can do as I please with your places," responded Lorelle.

Lilah rolled her eyes and scoffed, closing the door shut. She would be lying if she said it didn't strike a chord in her heart to hear Lorelle call herself her mother, or for her to refer to her as Lilah Rae.

"You haven't been my mother for over a thousand years, don't start now," Lilah grumbled, standing against her door as she eyed the woman. "What do you want?"

"Our conversation was cut short earlier when you went to save your little boy toy from your aunts and uncle," responded Lorelle.

"He's not my boy toy."

Ignoring her disdainful attitude towards her, brushing it off like it was nothing. "I don't really know what you want to discuss, Lorelle."

"You. Us. What your life was like," Lorelle responded. "How you became a vampire."

"What my life was like?" questioned Lilah, trying not to shout and wake Josh. "Gee, mom, my life was horrible, thanks for asking. Constantly on the move, constantly without freedom, constantly wondering what a parent's love felt like. And I had that with Freya for a sliver of a moment before I got my childhood stripped from me and became a vampire. Then I was desiccated for a few centuries, and when I finally worked up the courage to be close to my father and his family, he gets ripped away from me. And the past two years are really fuzzy in my head, and right when I start to see photos with some girl I don't know, you show up out of the blue."

"What girl?" Lorelle asked.

Lilah huffed, wondering how that was the only part of her rant that Lorelle fixated on. She stomped towards her dresser, pulling out a picture frame and shoving it into Lorelle's face. "This one! This girl who is in so many photos with everyone I love, and none of us even know her name."

"None of you remember her?"

"No, and I'm starting to wonder if you and your vampire-siphonerness had something to do with the memory loss," Lilah accused. Furiously, she asked, "Why was I found in Mystic Falls, Lorelle?"

Lorelle blinked a few times, holding the picture frame, speechless at Lilah's whispered outburst.

"I don't know what to say, child—"

"I am not a kid, I'm over a thousand years old!" Lilah exclaimed, squatting so she was in Lorelle's face. She huffed and stood up, backing away from the siphoner vampire. She ran her hairs through her hair, tugging on it as she tried to calm herself down. She opened her bedroom door, motioning for Lorelle to leave. "Thanks for the mother-daughter bond, I have to sleep now."

Lorelle quietly got up, and before she made it past the threshold, Lilah grabbed her wrist.

"Oh, and you better not out our secret to the Mikaelsons. I doubt they'd be pleased with you to hear that you hid Elijah's daughter from them twice."

Lorelle looked at her, analyzing her face after she made the threat.

"You sure got that Mikaelson rage with a bit of Julson stubbornness, that's for sure."

"Weird, I'd like to think I'm all Mikaelson, since they're all I ever knew."

Sadness took over Lorelle's face at the statement, and she walked out of the apartment quietly.

Lilah closed her door, letting her body fall down the wall and to the floor. She sat there in the dark, attempting to catch her breath as her mind processed what had just happened. She knew that it wasn't Lorelle's choice for her to grow up without her, without any of the Julsons, but it didn't make any of this any easier for her. It was sort of like what she assumed Niklaus had felt when they found his father, a feeling of attachment and resentment towards the person all at once.

She remembered all those years ago, when Dahlia had finally turned her and then desiccated her, how she had looked for any trace of her family when she came out. Finding the Mikaelsons in the 1500s was difficult with the fact they were always on the run from Mikael, but there was at least whispers in the wind about them. Nothing about the Julson line. Like they had just stopped with her, which she wasn't surprised about really.

Despite feeling guilty about the way she had been reacting towards Lorelle, it didn't stop her from giving her the cold shoulder. At the end of the day, Lorelle Julson wasn't the parent that Lilah had been hoping and trying to get back.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

CHAPTER NINE

DISCUSSION BOARD (answering these in my asks makes me happy hehe)

· most of how roman was really "out of it" despite being a vampire comes from TVD when caroline's dad tortures her and she has marks along her body even though vampires heal, because he used vervain and her mom had to give her blood bags when she and tyler rescued her.

· why do we think lilah feels like she needs to protect roman?

· the bear he has is the same exact bear from aftermath chapter twenty-eight, the one lilah holds when she video calls roman the night before the miss mystic falls pageant!

· lilah and lorelle's dynamic here is very strained. i know that it's kind of "weird" that she hasn't told the mikaelsons who she is or that she just doesn't accept her mother, but if we remember anything from book one lilah, she was very put to herself before she had met hope. she had no desires really to be apart of the mikaelsons, she just liked to watch them from afar. so if it took her a thousand years + hope to tell the mikaelsons who she was, ofc it'll take her even more time to tell lorelle now that hope just doesn't exist.

· what do we think about the white oak coven?

· do we think lilah and freya are going to find a way to bring back elijah, hayley, and klaus?

· people who read this on wattpad have been expressing their want for a "lilah in tvd" type au (which is so fun because this book in itself is already an au hehe) so i was thinking i might write one! it'd technically be book 4, but occur before side character?? but readers have wanted it for a while so lmk your thoughts! she'd be in mystic falls when the originals are there since she follows closely behind her family, and then ofc she'd see stefan and damon who she once had a life with, yadda yadda yadda. katherine was her best friend for a while, so there'd be that dynamic i could explore. it wouldn't be a prequel since in this timeline, lilah doesn't ever meet stefan again or is active in the mystic falls drama, so it'd be a whole separate timeline just with lilah and her story.

[parrrty-poison]

ok so very long post. (not that it matters as i talk to the void askgdjjeh)

let's be real. who's the only two people i really think about when i’m seriously thinking about death? my sisters. my mom too, but mostly my sisters. and ok yeah, maybe what my mom would be like to my sisters if she was dealing with me being gone but that’s a whole other can of worms. in the end it’s always about my sisters. and i truly genuinely believe one of them hates me deep down and doesn’t really care about me, which, fair. i guess you don’t get over the people who were shitty to you in your developing years? except i got over her being shitty right back to me but whatever. i’m the oldest. it’s never been about me. and i think they probably feel like it’s always been all about me because i was so problematic back in the day, which was mostly because of my mom and what we came to find out was literally just my genes so there’s not much else i could have done. that doesn’t make me blame myself any less tho.

it doesn’t matter now. the point is, i pissed off my sisters more than i made them like me i think, and then we started living in different countries and it’s never been the same since then. i know i’m the odd one out in the family now. my parents say they don’t talk to me because they assume i’m always busy with school, which i am, but if they actually tried to talk to me i would find the time. i have way more time now. the problem is after all this time i have absolutely no idea how to reach out to anyone. they only care about me doing well in school anyway. which i do somehow, no matter how fucked up shit gets or how much shit i’m on to get through it. that’s my one real talent. so whenever i talk to them i only tell them what they want to hear and with my dad we’re already constantly dealing with enough other shit with the government by trying to keep me in school and in the country despite this country’s best efforts to get rid of me. so how could i ever bring up my feelings on top of that?? i’m always worried about our family’s financial situation no matter what and i am tired of being a burden because i wasn’t supposed to be anymore, i only am because of the government. so despite my best efforts i keep giving my parents enough to worry about. 

and then my sisters. like i said, i’ve been the odd one out for a long time now and i have no idea how to come back from that. i know they’re literally always facetiming, which is the only way i get to talk to my little sister cause carla was here and apparently they can’t go a single day without talking to each other so while she was staying with me i got to hang out with both of them. it kept me sane for a bit there. even if i knew it wasn’t for me. 90% of the time i have no idea wtf they’re talking about and every time i ask them and they try to explain they just dismiss it and say it’s some tik tok shit or something. and yeah ok i refuse to get one cause honestly, social media is toxic af and i have enough shit to worry about already so i don’t have the mental energy for it. and honestly i don’t have the attention span for tik tok. but yeah, i know me living under a metaphoric rock doesn’t help but i’m trying to keep myself somewhat sane. but that means i have nothing to talk about with my sisters. 

when carla was here she literally barely interacted with me cause she’s on her phone all.the.fucking.time. to the point where i know it’s straight up rude but i didn’t wanna say anything cause i know she’d just say i sounded like my mom. and i know most of the time she was just texting my other sister and honestly? it hurts ok? maricel was like 11 when i last lived with her and i was 18 so we had nothing in common and now i missed all these fucking years of being around her while she grew up. and somehow she’s still nicer to me than carla. maybe cause i didn’t get the chance to be as much of a shitty sister to her back in the day due to the age difference. she definitely didn’t get the worst of my horribly mentally ill unmedicated self. look, the facts add up ok? i’m not an idiot. i can see why things happen but i have absolutely no fucking idea how to change them.

and in the end what i have is this. somehow, despite my best efforts, which were actually pretty damn good despite everything, i am here again. i mean, my first semester of grad school, all the insane shit that happened in the span of less than 3 months really, that would have broken me back in the day. 2020 may have been a horrible year for everybody but personally, 2019 was a straight-up personal attack. and i made it through. without anyone knowing about any major breakdowns (I guess except for Tom and Borna) and with semi-decent grades. everyone in the program agreed that my first semester was one for the books in the worst possible way.

but i made it to 2020. and then 2020 happened. and i learned what being stuck in a 5x5 room for almost a month does to a person, aside from everything else. and i remember telling my therapist i hoped one of the things we would all learn from the pandemic was how long-term solitary confinement has never been an okay way of punishment. cause that’s the last time i felt truly seriously suicidal and literally had to physically fight myself not to do it. and it slowly got better.

but here we are again. and it’s not the same, not at all. it’s just it’s fucking winter and every winter i struggle to make it through like clockwork. in fact, i thought this time i’d be okay cause i made it all the way to late november just fine, which is unheard of. but i did. and then it all came crashing down like a fucking landslide. and god, i tried to stay on my feet for as long as i could, i really did. but when that wave hit it hit hard. it fucking knocked me to my knees. and for as long as i could i hid behing people, i clinged to them like a fucking lifeline even if i knew they’d rather be somewhere else. i got my sister to stay with me because i knew she hated being with my dad more. it was a win-win cause i couldn’t leave her there, i know how much she hates that place cause i hate it too. she didn’t pay attention to me almost the whole time she was here and i only had so much money to take her out places, seeing as i’m not being paid for work anymore. but as long as she was here i wasn’t allowed to be an alcoholic mess or kill myself. as soon as she left i went back to that. 

And then Tom died. i don’t even know how to deal with this still. it only happened last week. but i don’t know how to tell people i need them. and i really do need them. but no one’s coming of their own volition and i never learned how to ask for help cause the couple times i did my mom told me to stop being crazy so i never asked again. and yeah. i’m 24 and i still haven’t fully managed to get past that but since then people have consistently proved to me that asking for help is a waste of time. so yeah, i have no idea how to tell anyone i’m on the verge of jumping off a metaphorical cliff. cause i hate sounding dramatic and i feel like any time i talk about my feelings at all that’s just what it’s like to everyone. dramatic. dramatic and uncomfortable. 

and because i never do it, if i do it now it’s gonna be even weirder. i mean, last week i sat on the kitchen floor and listened to justin rant about how he feels his friend doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore and that feeling sucks, i know, but when i mentioned Tom he was like “huh?? oh yeah i forgot about that” like i hadn’t told him about it the night before. he hasn’t asked me how i’m doing even once, no one has. Jo did once and then she bailed. but yeah, i feel like i try so hard to be a good and supportive friend to justin and he just doesn’t give a shit about me. and i have a feeling he, and maybe most of my friends here??, thinks i simply do not have any feelings because i don’t show them in front of people. sure, i refuse to have anyone see me cry ever, but like that’s not the only way to show emotions??? but no one seems to get that???

So sure, no one cares about your feelings when you always seem to be okay on the outside, no matter how much shit you know is happening on the inside. My point is, my sisters hate me or don’t care about me and that’s the only people i really care about hurting. So. Yeah. Fuck what my meds say, maybe it is a good call to kill myself. Only time will tell i suppose.

[saibh29]

Minor Head Trauma (Part 2)

w

Pairings: Will Halstead x Reader

Warnings: Language (as usual) 

AN: Again, not a doctor so please don’t take my word for how any medical condition should be treated. Creative license is definitely in play. 

When an old friend of Ethan Choi show’s up in Chicago ED she’s about to make life very uncomfortable for Will Halstead

Part One 

*******

You’d known it was going to happen but even so, when you heard the voices coming from outside your room you couldn’t help but flinch. Nolan, who had returned from wherever it was he’d took off to earlier, looked towards the entrance as well.

“This is not going to go well”

“You think?” you looked away from the entrance of your room and over at Nolan. “if you flee and leave me to deal with him alone, I will never fucking forgive you”

“It may still be worth it”

“Nolan, sit fucking down” you grabbed his sleeve when he made to get up and yanked him back down to the chair. “Sit. Down!”

“Boss…?” he whined like a little child. “Please”

Unfortunately for him but excellent news for you, he never got the chance to finish that request. The doors to your room slid fully open, the curtain was drawn back and there, stood in perfectly pressed military uniform, habitual scowl on his face was your father otherwise known as General Y/L/N.

“Hi Dad” you tried to sound cheerful, you were probably failing though.

“Y/N” he took you in from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet, clocking every single wire, needle and little chest sticker. He didn’t seem impressed. “get up. We’re leaving”

“Yes sir” you’d been programmed from birth to follow his orders without question, it seemed no matter how old you got the impulse never quite vanished.

As you were unclipping wires your father’s gaze fell instead on Nolan. “You brought her here Private Nolan?”

“Yes Sir” he stood instantly to full height, eyes not quite meeting the Generals. “She was unconscious sir, blood coming from a head wound. I made a decision; it was closer to come to this hospital than get her back to base”

Whatever your father was about to say to Nolan you would never know because alerted by the rapidly screaming beeps of the machine your Doctor was back. Poor him.

“Ah Dr Halstead” you were now completely unclipped apart from the needle in your arm. “If you’d be so kind as to remove this for me then I’ll get out of your way. Let you get back to your regularly scheduled programming”

“Captain Y/L/N I thought we’d had this discussion”

“The Captain is leaving”

Halstead’s eyes switched from you to the imposing figure of your father still looming at the bottom of your bed. “I'm afraid the Captain can’t leave just yet. She has a significant head injury; we need to monitor her…”

“All of that can be done from the medical bay at the base” the General didn’t take well to being ordered to do anything. “She will be leaving with me, right now. Remove the canula”

“Y/N?”

“Take out the Canula Doctor” your father answered for you.

You just shrugged at Halstead; you weren’t suddenly going to start disobeying him now. If you’d ever planned on doing so you would have when you were a teenager. “I did try and warn you Dr Halstead” you offered “I told you I should leave earlier. That I was fine”

The truth however, was that you definitely weren’t fine. Your head was pounding again and only half of that headache was coming from your father’s bedside manner. A bigger part of it was where your head had crashed rather firmly into a wooden plank wielded by the informant that the general had sent you out to meet in the first place.

You hadn’t told Halstead what had actually caused your head wound, you’d kept that little bit of information quiet. The general was already in a foul mood, if he found out you and Nolan had been spilling information about your actual mission then it wouldn’t matter about the minor head wound you’d gotten because he would remove your head permanently from your shoulders.

You really did feel sorry for the Doctor though, he’d been trying to help and he just had no idea what he was walking into.

“Nolan?”

“Boss”

“Maybe you could take the General out to see Ethan?”

Your father finally stopped glaring at Dr Halstead, shocked out of even his bad mood at the mention of Ethan Choi. “Choi? He works in this ED now?”

“Yeah, Nolan will take you” you were ignoring the pleading look of ‘save me’ on Nolan’s face. More than happy to throw him to the wolves if it meant you got your father out of this room. “Now Nolan”

“Yes Boss” his teeth were gritted together so hard that he was probably going to give himself cavities. He did lead the General out of your room once more though, leaving you only with Dr Halstead once more.

“You better take it out Halstead”

Halstead took hold of your shoulders instead and pushed you down to sitting back on the edge of the bed. He was searching your face for something; you weren’t sure what exactly but apparently, he didn’t find it.

“Do you want to leave?”

“Do you think my wants play any part in this production?”

“They play a big part in my decision to discharge you”

“Dr Halstead… Will. I appreciate it, really I do” you took one of his hands in your own. “I'm a soldier. I follow orders, its what I’ve always done. Right now those orders are to get me back to base and a medical bay there. I promise you I will rest, but for both of our sanity’s I suggest you do as the General says, discharge me and forget you ever even treated me”

“I don’t think I'm going to be able to forget you Captain Y/L/N. Even if I did want to”

“You don’t want to? I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to”

“No, I don’t want to” He let go of your hand to straighten your arm out and surprisingly gently removed the canula. “I’ll get your discharge papers started”

“Started isn’t going to please the General”

Halstead gave you half a smile. “I'm doing as he commanded, just, slowly”

“That’s going to piss him off”

“Do you care?”

“I find that I don’t” you hitched yourself further up onto the bed crossing your legs underneath you again. “You know, I quite like you Doctor Halstead. You think like me”

“Is that a compliment?”

“It is”

As Halstead threw away the now used canula you sat and stared at him quite shamelessly. The doctor was an incredibly attractive man, and the fact that he was willing to disobey the General even if it was marginally meant he had balls. You liked that. You really liked that.

He turned back to you. “If you need anything before you discharge comes through just ring, the nurse will come find me”

“Thank you, Dr Halstead. For everything”

He didn’t ask you why you were thanking him from the look on his face he knew why without you having to explain it. Instead he just nodded and left you alone once more.

You probably had a few minutes before Nolan came back with your father and in those few minutes you were going to do your best to try and zen away at least a little of your headache.

@clementines-x​ @the-chosen-one-time-lord​ @no-other-names-availible-blog​ @angelaiswriting​ @selldraug​ @angryares​ @thenovarose​ @georgiagrl1990​ @punk-rock-5-sos @mindofthescattered​  @dontstopxx​ @iamabeautifulperson18​ @madelinecraig03​ @ka-x-in​ @im-hurric4ne @mesmericbell​ @something–awesome @weirdpotato-14​ @putinontheritzz​ @soulslaststand​ @fuckthatfeeling​  @ember1201​ @morganlb23​ @kitkatbadass @tomhopperarms​  @fakingintrest​ @artprincessbree​  @dreamer-lover-laughter​ @artprincessbree​ @rime-warrior​ @captainvaneswife​ @jaib2-blog @kapolisradomthoughts​ @thingsandstuffienjoy​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @aya-fay​  @itsbubbaog​ @hp-hogwartsexpress​ @emmykinzs​ @thatbadassunicorn​ @sassywingednightmare​ @weirdnewbie​ @goyawriter​ @shipperfangirling​ @nathaliabakes​ @stillreadingfantasy @waywardblueshun  

[kpopisamood]

Queen’s Clan { 15 }

Summary: y/n is plagued by nightmares. She realizes that the more she runs away, the less frequently they haunt her. However, in running away, she’s also running straight into her ultimate demise. Will she be saved in time by those who would lay down their lives for her, even if they don’t know of each other’s existence?

Monsta X/Reader, Human/Vampire(s), Reverse Harem

Warnings: light smut?, violence, language

Word count: 2.03k

Tag list: @noonaduck @lovinggalaxies @elenaramos1 @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @snowythellama @stargazersara @luvthatleader-nim @sugasheart @vincent-stargogh @perrshian

It’s been a...minute? since I posted, heh. I’m not really “good” with grieving and I didn’t know if I should post so soon given what has happened so I kinda held off on posting just to give everyone some space. It still feels a bit awkward coming back so soon but I hope you all will forgive me. This is just kinda how I move on? I don’t know, I’m weird I guess.

Also, how do y’all feel about period sex? Because the next couple of parts depend on y’all with this. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable on my first fic on here so I’m asking now just to see where your mind is at.

***

According to Miss Kudrow, the Gathering had gone off “without a hitch”. Your little confrontation with Silvia didn’t hinder your position and, if anything, aided to your status as an up and coming leader. You’d made a good impression on a few Queens other than Astor and Sonaelina and the former two had invited you over to their homes if you ever wanted to get away.

There was just one problem.

You’d unknowingly let Shownu feed from you. You weren’t sure what the rule set was for this sort of role reversal, but it caused quite a ruckus amongst your Mates.

Being the first to be taken into your Clan, Minhyuk was a bit envious; wanting your attention constantly, even when you were preoccupied.

“I’m just asking why he gets to feed from you and I don’t.” Minhyuk pouted from behind the locked door.

“I swear on all things that are holy, if you don’t let me piss in peace, you won’t be able to complain!” You threatened from your porcelain throne.

For a beat, it was quiet and that led you to believe he was gone until, “Does this mean I’ll get a taste?”

“MINHYUK!” You yelled, hearing footsteps scurrying away.

You truly didn’t know what you were doing with Shownu at the time. When Silvia had touched him in front of you, your mind had gone blank and you wanted to show him he was yours, damnit. Call it whatever you may, but you’d let him take a few licks and now the whole house dynamic was all sorts of messed up.

The only solace you had was from one of the younger ones; Jooheon. He’d stay by your side and wouldn’t ask or pout at you. He’d just simply follow you around. You would think it would get annoying, but with him around constantly glaring at the boys who tried to approach you and ask for a taste kind of comforted you. You didn’t know if he was simply trying to get on your good side, but his behavior didn’t go unnoticed by you.

***

“As you see, you have a long list of potential nesting sites. None of them have actually been built yet but these are rough sketches for you to choose from, should you want to leave this house.” Kudrow had blueprints upon blueprints laid out for you. Houses that you would have never dreamed of were within your grasp all because of your supposed lineage.

You were slowly starting to come into your role as a Queen and the bank accounts that had almost made you pass out, were something you were starting to take in stride. It was...nice to not have to worry about bills and such, but it still made you a bit uncomfortable to spend so much of your family’s money.

You’d narrowed your search down to a few homes and Miss Kudrow had asked you all the questions under the sun. Including, how big do you want your bed, bathtub, etc. and what you wanted in certain rooms that made you blush.

Apparently, Royals had nests where they settled down and made their families. This is also where all the Clan Mates stayed as well as servants who were sworn to protect your name. It was a bit daunting to think about, but you were taking things one day at a time.

“So we’ve established the people currently living and their arrangements. What do you want for the kids’ rooms?”

You nearly choked hearing Miss Kudrow’s words. They were harmless, but you weren’t thinking of kids. Not now when you’ve just been thrown into an entirely new world.

“Kids?!” You shrieked, standing up to pace the room.

“Well, of course. How else would you continue your lineage? Have you decided which of your Mates will father the children? Or if you’ll have more than one father for several?” She kept going, not really paying attention to your panicked state. “Oh, just think of a nice house with several little ones running around! It would be so wonderful to see your reign continuing on and—are you alright?” She cut herself off, finally seeing you.

The moment you thought of running away and living in the woods the rest of your life, Jooheon came running in. He approached you slowly while giving Miss Kudrow a glare that could kill and then focused entirely on you. He gently grabbed you and pulled you into his chest, holding one hand behind your head and the other around your waist to try and somehow protect you.

“You’re alright.” He cooed, kissing the side of your head and just holding you.

“I’m not ready for kids, Jooheon.” You mumbled against his chest.

“That’s okay. We don’t have to even think about kids right now. We can just enjoy each other’s company. We’re here for you and we’re not going to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” He reassured, pulling away to look you in the eyes.

You nodded nimbly, somewhat comforted.

A throat clearing brought your attention to a weary Changkyun, trying his best not to look you in the eye.

“You have a visitor, My Lady.” He nervously shook his hair with his hand and not a few seconds later, there was a gentle knocking on the front door.

All at once, your Clan Mates joined you. Jooheon had already had a place at your side and was holding your hand, Minhyuk took your other side but let you have some space, Shownu stood in front with Wonho and Changkyun remained at the doorway.

Miss Kudrow had gone to see who it was before returning with a hesitant look.

“It’s Yoo Kihyun. Chae Hyungwon’s Clan Mate.” She announced.

Chaos erupted amongst your Mates.

“He’s not coming in.”

“Don’t trust him.”

“We can take him on.”

They were all on high alert and it worries you a bit to see them so wound up over one person.

“Who is he?” You asked, taking a glance towards the hallway where the front door was.

“He’s Hyungwon’s Queen killer.” Jooheon explained, gritting his teeth.

“Kihyun is with King, Hyungwon. He just so happens to be his Alpha, or right hand man. Anything Hyungwon won’t or can’t do himself, falls on Kihyun. This usually means killing Royals or using them for his benefit.” Changkyun rephrased.

You had read all the documents Miss Kudrow had given you, but this was nowhere in any of them. Had you have known about this, Hyungwon would not be on the top of your potential ally list.

“They’re baseless rumors, but it’s troublesome nonetheless. Royals gossip, but they never spread word of murder; their ranks are too underpopulated to even joke about killing one another. Do you want me to send him away, Your Grace?” Miss Kudrow softly asked, fully prepared to tell Kihyun where he could go.

You didn’t want someone so dangerous around your Clan, but you didn’t want to send him away and not hear what he has to say either. Were you prepared to face on someone as Kihyun? He had made quite a ripple effect on your Clan and you’d be a fool to go against him so blindly but you wanted to know more about this; more about them.

“Let him in.” You told her bravely. Miss Kudrow nodded and left the room. You could hear the front door open and closing and heard another heavier set of footsteps following behind Miss Kudrow’s dainty ones.

You made your way to the living room and sat on an oversized couch, your men taking their respective places. Shownu sat in between your legs in front of you on the floor, Jooheon to your right while Minhyuk on your left, and Wonho leaned against the wall nearest the couch as Changkyun took the opposite end of the room.

Though they didn’t show it, you could tell your decision had put your Clan on edge. They’d kill for you and die for you, but that would mean leaving you alone to face whatever Hyungwon had in mind for you.

When Kihyun had finally approached your group, you wanted to gasp. His hair was a short, dark brown with lighter brown highlights that framed his sharp features perfectly. He sported a kind smile but you could tell he had a darker being inside him. He wore a black long sleeve, dark dress pants, and dark brown boots and he strode in with a careful confidence that made you want to hide and fight all at once.

“Your Highness,” he nodded at you. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

You gave him a slight nod and waited for his next words, opting not to speak to him just yet since he was the one who sought you out in your home.

His smile slightly widened and he looked around at your Clan Mates, meeting each of their eyes. “You’ve already grown quite a Clan, I see.” He said in an impressed tone.

“What do you want, Kihyun?” You demanded, not wanting him to beat around the bush.

He nodded to himself before continuing on. “My King would like to request your presence in a private dinner with him two nights from now.”

You could feel Shownu and Minhyuk tense up around you while Jooheon gripped your hand a bit tighter.

“And why would I do that? Your King had his chance to meet me at the Gathering like all the other Royals, why does he want a private meeting now?” You challenged, and almost wished you didn’t.

His gentle smile turned into a sinister smirk and back so fast you almost got whiplash. “You were a bit...occupied when he was finally about to meet you.”

You could feel he was trying to embarrass you. He knew you were new to this and sharing your affections with your Clan so openly should have made you ashamed but you honestly didn’t care. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“So what you’re saying is, he had the opportunity to meet me, but he backed down. That sounds more like a problem for him rather than me. Don’t you think?” You smirked back, causing his smile to loosen a smidge. But that was all your confidence needed.

“It seems so, Your Grace.” He replied.

“Since you came looking for me, I’ll meet with your King. But on my terms. That’s only fair, right?”

“I will give him the excellent news, Your Grace.” He bowed slightly and made his way for the door. Miss Kudrow followed behind him and softly closed the door behind him, letting out a deep sigh of relief that everyone else also let out.

“Are you alright, My Queen?” Minhyuk asked, taking your other free hand and pecking the back of it in comfort.

“Tell me everything about Kihyun and Hyungwon. If Hyungwon is anything like Kihyun, I want to be prepared to face him as well.” You stated, tightening your grip on Jooheon and Minhyuk ever so slightly before dropping their hands and getting yourself mentally ready for another Royals lesson.

***

“She’ll meet with you.” His Alpha greeted from his cell. “But on her terms.”

Hyungwon chuckled and shook his head, as if he had heard an old joke. “Of course, as expected of an intellectual Queen. I’ll let our Guardians set it up.” He waved off.

“Her numbers have grown tremendously.” Kihyun told him, waltzing straight for the blacked out car awaiting him in front of your home.

“And they’re about to get more significant.” He chuckled before hanging up.

Kihyun took one last look at your home and smiled softly before entering the car and driving away.

Please do NOT repost! All rights reserved!

*PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THE NOTE ABOVE THIS CHAPTER!*