#i never got to use them much outside of the simple online connection to get 10 random people's cards

[bs-el]

rest in peace bravely default and bravely second online services

[askthedragonriders]

Good evening dragon riders. This question is for all of you. Life has been very overwhelming lately and loneliness is a very real thing that I (and likely many other people) have been struggling with. Sometimes forcing myself out of isolation can feel near impossible. How do you deal with this sort of stress? (If this question is a lot for you then it’s ok if you don’t answer. I understand).

good evening! this has been sitting in my ask box for a couple of months now at this point (maybe longer). i've finally reached it and i apologize for the wait.

i'm also sorry for not responding to this in character, but i just couldn't bring myself to do it. i am just one person roleplaying as these six goobers and it's hard for me to have them have their own answers while i have my own separate experiences with the same issue and loneliness being smth that has been a part of my entire life until recently.

ik how you feel, anon. life gets overwhelming and you are alone or even with others you feel alone because there's just smth not connecting and putting yourself out there takes up so much energy with the added potential of it not working in your favor at all and it sucks so badly. it SUCKS so badly.

forcing yourself out of isolation is SO much sometimes. at my worst i couldn't even imagine it being possible that i could have the power to get myself out. i can only speak from my experiences and i apologize if it does nothing for you. i understand if it doesn't. we are not the same person, none of us are.

but for me, the stress of it all would be me going to work or having to do smth and being like "you know what. just say hi to someone. introduce yourself." such as a coworker or a fellow student. it gets more difficult if you don't have scheduled things like that which generally require interacting with people and yea, it doesn't mean it'll guarantee the loneliness going away if you happen to talk to someone. i get it.

i've always been somewhat of an outsider and struggled in having friends bc a part of me liked keeping to myself but also i was afraid and stressed but it made me lonely and it just cycled. i was lucky my mom recommended i see a therapist bc she was worried & it ended up working wonders for me in understanding how i operate.

for dealing with the stress of it, sometimes it's as simple as slow breathing, sometimes it's setting tinier goals so it's not so daunting and going step by step, and sometimes it did end up being dealing with the stress head on and jumping in. sometimes finding someone online helped, sometimes having someone irl with me helped. what also helps me is remembering that being lonely will always be part of a phase. our feelings always have opposites. someone else across the world or even across the street is also lonely, either literally alone or at a giant gathering with friends around them. we are lonely together.

you will not be lonely forever and the fact you know you don't like being lonely and don't want to be lonely, even if the stress of coming out of isolation feels like so much, that's enough. it can make the difference. you might even end up not being lonely or fighting it in a way you never expected or didn't even realize because things sometimes just happen. it's what happened to me, i started seeing a therapist and got a new job and there i met my two best friends in the whole world who are some of the only ppl who make me feel happy and full. we don't talk all the time. we don't need to. we pick up right where we left off. i no longer see my therapist and have moved out and my life has changed a lot.

ik that it doesn't always work like that. sometimes you rlly do have to keep getting up, going out, and facing the loneliness head on. usually it'll be a mixture of it happening naturally and being a fight. learning to be comfortable in your own company and taking care of yourself can also be very helpful, and you gotta do that at your own pace. days will sometimes be bad and sometimes be good. it probably won't be noticeable or go as quickly as you hope it will.

i hope you are able to find peace, anon. you will one day see, looking back, that you aren't lonely. even if you still are some time in the future, i hope it's still an improvement from where you are now. i hope your situation has improved for you since you sent this ask.

i wish you the best

[mebemilena]

Not like we have a date with destiny

You met Layla online and her visits to your store became more regular.

---

A/N:

it's been YEARS i don't post anything, just silently reading fanficion around. Gotta relearn how to use Tumblr again. I waited one year to watch Moonknight, always wait for the hype to pass because i know i get hyped too and my poor mind can't really take that. I absolutely loved Layla, that's a fact.

as usual, i'm just trying to exercise my english writing skills. I feel like this was a part of a bigger piece but I can't really develop much. Thank you for reading though. Life's been a bit difficult at times. Lots of anxiety and fear of the future. I wanted to get something light.

i'm starting a series, that's why Sersi is mentioned.

my AO3 link if you'd like to see.

-

You met Layla online. She sent a message to the store you worked at looking for a specific book. You attended her on the phone and she went to the bookstore shortly after, paying in cash.

"You're a lifesaver.", she thanked you.

Soon, her visits to the store became more regular. Layla would take her time to read the back of the covers or arrive with a specific request. You became friends over illustrated books though, specially the ones about ancient culture. You told her about your beliefs and about your own culture, finding it amazing when she shared her own story. There was no denying you had a great connection.

"We should go out for drinks.", Layla invited you. "We only meet when you're working or when I need something work related." she'd insist.

It was true. You had never met in other circumstances and knew very little about each other outside duty, except a few things you could notice by yourself. Layla was an interesting woman, she was gentle and polite. Maybe not very social but very friendly anyway. It wasn't hard to slowly fall for her but of course you decided to keep a safe distance. If she didn't like you like that by any chance, you were not up to spoil the friendship you were developing.

"Let's do it tonight then? It's Friday, tomorrow's my Saturday off", you agreed. Was it too soon?

Layla seemed to think for a moment. Almost like she didn't believe it had been so easy. All she had to do was ask. Simple like that. "Okay.", a smile ghosted her lips and she shook her head, as if getting rid of intrusive thoughts. "It's gonna be fun."

Around 6:30pm, when you had closed the store, Layla appeared by the door. She was supposed to text you her location and you'd meet here but she had other plans. "I thought it'd be nice for us to walk there, it's not far from here.", she explained.

Layla was uncaractheristicaly nervous. She was watching her feet as you walked to the bar and you could sense the thick atmosphere. Was she nervous?

"So, i think we could grab something to eat first.", She finally looked at you. "You know, so that we won't get drunk too fast."

You agreed, as easy as it sounds, and suggested a small cantina you liked. You had some pizza and decided to just try their wine, not wanting to leave the cozy place. You drank and ate and talked for hours, leaving only because the owner came talking to you saying it was time for them to close.

Layla walked you home, the cold air sobering you up way too fast. Your night couldn't end better, though you thought that maybe it could. If Layla kissed you goodnight.

You stood by your doorway and bent goodbye and Layla kissed your cheek when you hugged. It happened a few time after that. You went out for drinks or food, hanging out together for log walks, cultural programs and sometimes to watch movies at each other's place.

You were talking about your romantic life when you mentioned the last mess you got involved in. "She was nice and all. Really. We'd go to the museu, to natural parks. We had fun together, i thought we were fine. But then her ex came along and she just disappeared.", you told her, realizing that it didn't really hurt anymore.

Layla listened to you, giving the attention you deserved. There was a hint of something in her eyes and she smiled. "Just like we do? You seem to have a type.", she said, playfull.

You chocked on your drink.

Layla laughed at your antics and gave you a napkin. She kept looking at you, a smile never leaving her face. "I mean, you said she was a Historian, that she worked with museology, and i'm an archeologist. We both like going out for drinks and trying new food, we're both into ancient culture...", she explained.

Your jaw dropped, you were speechless. Layla looked into your eyes and took a big gulp of her wine before dropping the bomb. "We both have a close relationship with our exes, she told you. "I mean, i just got divorced.", her eyes inspected you for the smallest of reactions.

You felt your heart falling on the floor. If she had just gotten a divorce it meant she probably wasn't ready for any romantic bullshit. Part of you was okay with that, because you liked her a lot and were willing to accept what she had to give you. Another aspect she had in common with Sersi.

The other part of you was catching the bitter taste of rejection.

Layla was waiting for you to say something, you knew that. But there were no words for you to use. She seemed to understand the hint and started talking again. "We are friends though. Kinda.", she cleaned her throat. "We work together sometimes.", she explained and noticed you were still silent, which made Layla start to panic. Was it the wrong time? The wrong words?

She took a deep breath. "I don't know where this is going but i'd love for it to continue.", she smiled, almost shy at herself. You nodded and approached her side of the couch way too slowly , kissing the tip of her nose.

Layla relaxed and smiled larger. She placed her hands on your cheeks before kissing you on the lips.

---

[algrolo]

Game Concept

I want to make a game about knowing your neighbors. I really like sharp, line based 2d artwork like Gris and Zean Macfarlane's architectural sketches, so itd be a stylized 2D platformer. I remember playing Little Big Planet and being enamoured with the colors and characterizations and zaniness of its world, and Id want to also capture that attitude.

Youd play as a pseudo-silent protag, which Ill be refering to as The Rider. Heres a quick animation I did for them as a concept

When I say psuedo-silent I mean that they dont speak and have extremely limited time when they would "say" things. Think like Frisk from Undertale; they technically do "say things" but never as like. A speech bubble.

Anyways, so far all Ive gotten is this idea of connections and knowing your neighbors. You live in an apartment building and theres a scripted order in which you meet your neighbors. Each of the real playable levels would be a neighbors apartment, which always transcends into a much bigger world than just their apartment. One of your neighbors has an 8yo daughter who loves everything pink, cupcakes, sweets, and is super bubbly. Her "apartment" would be a world that reflects her interests.

I dont really want dangers in these worlds, similar to how Gris plays. Gris only has 2 moments where your character gets reset for failing an objective. I admire this commitment to gaming as a step of passivity and possitivity. You dont get a game over, you dont lose a life, and theres never a notion that you died, just that you got reset.

Simple sketch of what happens when you fail a section where there would be danger (maybe only bosses?). Rider just kinda crumbles to their knees, and the background fades out, and upon pressing [X] you get back up to a specific save state.

Maybe it should be nicer like GET BACK UP. Im working on tone here. I think I want there to be a common thread of Loneliness prevailing through the game. Like, maybe the little girl is the first neighbor, very fun and bubbly and she invites you over. Maybe The Rider just moved and is all alone in a new place. Maybe they had to leave somewhere, also isolating them.

I think its very easy for loneliness to creep up on us as we get older. Exhaustion from work and life creep up in your 20s and suddenly you find yourself reminiscing about school and when you had more free time and you talked with friends all the time, etc.

So you, as The Rider, begin to learn who your neighbors are. You take a step at combatting the loneliness. And your neighbors range from little girls to old men and various other characters of all walks of life and with each neighbor you meet, you develop a sense of space and community. Furthermore, you enable neighbors to meet each other. Sometimes, its not just you who struggles with loneliness and making friends.

Ive got so many ideas for potential neighbors and worlds, considering I can just adapt my interests to themes of each neighbor. One who loves trains and mechanical things. Another one who loves card games and board games and silly thing of that like. Another who loves bugs and moths especially. And each world finishes with the creative landscape in which you are exploring of your neighbor into a simple scene in their apartment. The little girl you are watching for your neighbor while she ran out for a forgotten grocery. The card game enthusiast is showing you his favorite card game and is incredibly grateful for your willingness to listen to his rambles and all the rules. The train expert is showing you her model trains.

The intent is to show that everyone has their own interests and things they like, and sometimes it can be intimidating to find people to share your interests with outside of an online, cultured space. Most people like to share their interests, they just want others to listen. And its always good to just know your neighbors.

[seraphinadol]

heylo everyone, i’m ju (27, they/them, gmt+8) and i'm so excited to bring my joy of life, cha eunyeol (24. he/him, recurve archer & the shoestring canon)! read under cut to be hypnotized in making you plot with me!

dossier / background / connection / moodboard

the basics .ᐟ

born and raised in busan, eunyeol lived a very mundane life before archery/being the olympian he is now. he's your average student; none so studious yet one without any notable achievement at that time. an equivalent of an 'extra' without purpose in webtoons, you will.

cha eunyeol has never been interested in archery (he played sports but never excelled in one or harboured interest to be a professional) as a child like any other athletes he knows. a late bloomer in fact, since he picked up archery at the age of seventeen after seeing the heartstring on television on his way home.

some would call him a natural genius considering how he picked up the unique sport quickly. but eunyeol thinks of himself as someone who is just passionate & hardworking in his newfound lifeline.

his achievement includes: i) winning a silver medal in hyundai korea youth archery competition (domestic but national level tournament) and ii) making his international debut in the u21 world archery championship (exactly when he was 21) — bringing home a gold medal for south korea!

his coach secretly brought him to try out for jincheon without him knowing (with the excuse of it being some district tryouts/comp) and eunyeol pretty much just roll with it! it made his coach cry for the first time when he got accepted.

to the public, it remained as rumor that eunyeol joined jincheon. (some said he's scouted after his international debut, while others said the people of jincheon paid him to be recruited he never bothered to clarify anything) in all consideration to his rising popularity and since he had no agent nor was he signed to any agency, no one could really confirmed it even until now.

random facts .ᐟ

eunyeol is considered a fossil! he doesn't act his age, often making old man jokes, enjoys his coffee and tea with extra shots of bitterness, and carries an old school lg flip phone which could only be used for calling and texting.

he does not have any social media presence even as a child; too busy enjoying life by playing basketball and hanging out with his friends! if you ever glimpse pictures of him online, they're probably updated by his family (particularly his older sister in her sns) and friends/school acquaintances.

even as he joined jincheon, he remained as a free agent. while there are many who wants to sign him and what not brand ambassador and networks trying to get a point of contact to reach out to eunyeol, he rather remained carefree.

outside the sports life, eunyeol enjoys simple hobbies like playing the guitar and snapping photos with his digicam! he is ambidextrous but dominantly uses his left handed. his right hand is particularly calloused considering he pulls his bow with that hand too.

plots .ᐟ

a possible roommate (if allowed!!)

an older muse who acts as his guardian considering his unique circumstances (aka no agent, unreachable by regular imessage/kakaotalk)? (perhaps their coach knew each other from their olympic days)

eventually he'd need to sign with an agency that could take care of his 'business', perhaps your muse could suggest the one they're working for / or their agency representative have been pestering your muse to convince eunyeol to join

a fun plot where your muse is being shipped with eunyeol despite prior to not knowing nor interacting with one another. (bonus when they both do completely different sports and have nothing in common)

fellow morning jogging partner where they happened to take the same route every time they see each other at jogging paths but never exchanged any conversation until some days to weeks later

friendly basketball teammate or rivals (none of the two major in basketball)

a morally grey muse who wants to befriend eunyeol for selfish benefits (whether to strengthen their popularity by befriending the 'mysterious newcomer')

strawberry milk fighter (somehow when your muse and eunyeol craves for strawberry milk from one specific brand, it's that one time that there's only 1 in stock left)

if you're keen for our muse to interact or if any of the plots pique your interest, like this and i'll reach out! hoping to write with you all soon x

[atlantahammy]

Taken

Trigger warning for: Blood, Murder, Guns, mentions of organs, etc.

Astra was scared, she had no idea how she ended up in this situation, caught by a crazy alien worshiping cult that wanted her blood, organs, and body for some ritual that she could only mentally describe as 'whack-ass'

Thrown in a holding cell with no windows, vents, or even light, only that coming from the small slit on the door.

Her component pouch was snatched from her to prevent her from casting anything that would aid in her escape.

With Cameras likely watching her, so she couldn't pull anything from her bag of holding without it alerting them to her lie that it was a simple bag, enchanted to get ingredients preserved.

At that thought she quickly huddled into a corner and used her cape to hide her form the best she could, she was facing a corner, her cape hood pulled up, her back facing the door and the rest of the cell, it dropped in the rest of the fabric of the cape.

It didn't obscure her movements, but it was enough to hide what she was doing. This place likely had Wi-Fi phone, and radio signals blocked, which sure, made sense, but did they have magic signal blockers that even without all those, allowed her to stay connected to the internet?

Probably not, because they were not as terminally online as she was.

She quickly turned her phone's screen light down and silenced it, and snapped a picture of herself, thankfully she never had the flash on to begin with.

Next she went to her discord app, and found the room she and the Hamato's were in and quickly typed, not worrying to much of typos and autocorrect, only that the message got crossed:

--Turtle Tank-V.I.P Chat🟥🟦🟪🟧🟨🟩🏒-- Voidwalker (Astra): I hate to sound alarmist, but IDK WHERE THE FUCK I AM AT! ITS DARK, COLD, THERE NO WINDOWS OR VENTS, AND A FUCKING ALIEN CULT THAT WANTS MY BLOOD AND ORGANS??? OH AND THEY TOOK MY FUCKING SPELL COMPONENTS, SEND HELP PLZ. FlavourTown (Mikey): Rayray! ohmigosh We were so worried, we saw them take you and we couldn't follow! ;^; RedAngel (Raph): How do you have working wifi?! that and they didn't take ya phone?! NeonLeon: Lets not worry about that right now and focus on tracking her down, which I'm sure Donnie's on right now.. Astra do not let them know you have your phone! Voidwalker: NO SHIT. Voidwalker: Sorry caps lock. Bootyyyshaker9000: Completely within reason, but, good to know, and worry not Leo, I am already tracking her location, Astra, don't worry we're coming, and please, do inform them if a single hair is out of place on you, I will personally, re-arrange every one of their atoms.

Astra breathed a sigh of relief, one chat was on their way.. but she went and copied and pasted her message into another chat, one with her hometown team in it.

She couldn't help but think about how she was a admin there, and thought quickly, copying the invite link and slapping it into the turtle-tank to let the Hamato's join in coordinating this rescue effort, despite the fear of them not getting along, she knew how Inferno and Drakus could get.. Still, seeing her friends talking helped calmed her nerves.

At the sound of noise, she quickly socked her phone away back into her bag of holding to ensure it wouldn't be confiscated.

She didn't need it out, and it wouldn't mess with Donnie tracking her, as it wasn't what he was tracking, but the subdermal tracker Donnie had on her, and she'd improved with her magic for her and his family..

She just now needed to survive till the groups got there to help her. ----

Some hours later, the groups were sneaking outside the compound in which Astra was being held, Donnie antsy to get in there and get her out, Devi, Astra's father, was ready to storm the place like a wrecking ball, the only thing keeping him from doing so was the fact Wolf was keeping the small wizard under his arm like a sack of potatoes... That and holding him partially like a bomb.

The last to arrive to the party was Mata, Astra's sword teacher, the strawberry-blond, nine-tailed Kitsune, but he was not in his normal kimono outfit, which took Leo by surprise the most.

In fact he wasn't in his normal fluffy, fox yokai form at all, this was a tall, young, willowy man with dark skin, and tattoo's on his shoulders.. Dressed down in black in what was clearly ninja gear, but.. Something was off and Leo knew it, as his eyes darted over the man it became clear why.

Mata wasn't just dressed like a ninja, it clicked with Leo that Mata, was in fact a ninja, but not any kind, he was a full-blown Shinobi, an assassin...

"Raph still thinks this is to many people." Raph grumbled as he looked at the people there, the group was large, more chances at them getting caught, but Leo clearly had a plan.

Leo tsked as he looked over at the defensive wall and at the cameras and guards, there were far more people and security here then he'd expected.

"Donnie, you got the cameras?" Leo whispered to his twin, who gave an affirmative nod as he worked to disable any and all alarms.

"Good, now we just need to deal with the guards--" "Don't worry, I have that covered."

Mata told Leonardo grimly, and before the blue turtle could protest, the fox was gone in the blink of an eye.

A series of cracks and gurgles caught his attention as he looked to the wall where two guards below now lay slumped and unmoving.

Wolf, the werehusky-wolf cringed. "Ohh.. thats gonna hurt when they wake up." He commented as if he was watching a sporting event.

It did ease Leo's nerves about Mata likely murdering them without hesitation.

He then spotted movement above as Mata was quickly paralyzing the guards with a series of hand movements to their backs before knocking them out.. But one unlucky guard, saw him as his partner slumped to the ground in front of him.

This caused Mata's red eyes to widen in surprise but quickly he lunged to paralyze the guard, only for him to move out of the way, and strike Mata harshly in the center of his back with the butt of his gun.

Mata hissed out in pain, but quickly recovered, despite his back now screaming at him to stop moving. He needed to keep this guy from sounding the alarm.

The guard went to run, pulling out his radio, but Mata was quicker on the draw, using a Kunai to break the device in one swift shot.

The guard panicked, dropped the device, and focused on running, only to be out-run by Mata, who was now in front of him, ready to try and knock the man out, only for him to dodge and slide under Mata's arm.

Mata cursed under his breath and moved swiftly to catch up and then stated harshly, in a low tone.

"You don't want to do this," he warned.

Mata's warning was met by a middle finger, and the drawing of a gun, that would surely alert the whole base.

Mata had the decision to make now, and it was one he didn't take likely, blow their cover and try to disarm the man, and let him get a shot off? or ensure silence and their plan..

Astra's life was at stake, as where there's if caught, so the life of one.. for the lives of many who this man threatened.

Without hesitation and a swift movement, Mata drew one of his dual blades and aimed for the neck as he lunged at the guard taking aim at him.

Sadly for him, Mata was faster, with a sickening thud and smattering of blood, the man lay motionless on the ground, in a puddle of blood.

Mata let out a disappointed huff, he did not want to do that, and his hand was forced. He looked to where the group was, and raised his bloody sword hand with a thumbs up and a smile with his eyes, as his mouth and nose were hidden by his mask.

"... Remind me not to get on that guy's bad side." Leo cringed in equal parts amazement and horror.

[blog-reflection]

ONE / FIVE - They would be Hot Together

I tried to follow the noises and made my way upstairs. The door of her room was just a tad open, so I gave it a look. Nothing. I’ve seen nothing. Where the hell did the noise come from if not from this very room? I mean Mildret’s just lying in the bed head’s down. It looks like she’s crying but I can’t really tell. I tried to talk to her but as soon as I moved the door a bit Mildret stood up and rushed towards me smashing the door into my face and closing it afterwards. Well, I tried. I’m not even surprised that this has happened. Sometimes it’s unbearable to watch how similar I am to her. We never talk about feelings and if people try we just kick them out. That’s how our generation of “The Falls” deals with these kinds of things. 

Well since there is nothing to do I decided to grab my headphones from my room and go downstairs to clean up the mess I’ve started to work on in the kitchen. It took some time but the music made it less annoying. I’ve never been a fan of cleaning but I noticed that it can be sort of fun if you dance and simply don’t care. After I finished I made myself a smoothie before heading back to my room. If Mildret can stay there the whole day I sure can too. I checked Discord for either notifications or if someone was online. Luckly, one of my friends from Royal Holloway was online. 

Her name is Lucia, Lucia Alessia Amantea. She came to the UK for her health studies around 2 years ago. This year is her final year, and I don’t know how I’ll deal with this all once she’s back home. I decided to text her a simple “Hi <3” before laying down on my bed and listening to the podcast. I looked at the ceiling for a while until I noticed that I was getting quite sleepy. I thought why not and layed myself to rest. A few hours later, I got up. It was 10pm by now and I wasn’t able to sleep at all. My Discord was dying due to a stack overflow on messages from Lucia. She asked if I was fine, if I needed to talk, the basic friend things people always say when they have a weird feeling about some other person. I just texted her that everything was fine but a glance on her insta made clear that I will not get an answer this day. Lucia is everything and nothing you could expect out of a person. She has a star record in school, being the teacher's pet and studying a lot while still being the hottest girl on every teenage party on the campus. Sadly, she had to move rooms so that she has a “roomy” now. I don’t know her name but Lucia says she’s really nice. They talk a lot but also not. She parties sometimes but prefers being out in bigger cities like London. She’s in her second year and to be honest, Lucia has no plan on why she has a “roomy” now, but at least she’s not that alone then. I personally haven’t seen her. I rarely visit schools in general and even fewer friends once I’m there. But when I'm at schools like Royal Holloway, I try to catch the people I care about for a cup of tea in the main building or something similar. Sometimes when we speak, we notice the language barrier between the two of us, especially when I use some sub english slang no person knows outside of the UK. But Lucia is also teaching me Italian in return. It’s not easy but I managed to learn quite well within the first year. That’s also the reason on how we got to know each other. Through Erasmus and a Scholarship, Lucia managed to get into Royal Holloway, but she was drowning in application letters and so on, so she decided to call for help. I was the one answering her call. And then, on her first week we met in one of the many hallways. She was confused about finding one of the rooms so I showed her. I talked a lot with her on the way, so much that I waited till her lesson was over to show her around for a second time. 

Lucia was one of the people I connected with almost instantly. We lowkey had the same interests and surprisingly the same taste in music. It didn’t take long until both of us exchanged out discord tags so we started messaging each other. I also watched her participate in a basketball match. I didn’t understand what happened there but it was nice to see the passion in her eyes all the time. Lucia is a really passionate woman in general. No matter if it’s the studies, partying or playing games, Lucia is always full of joy. I think that’s one of the things I enjoy most about her, and her looks. She would fit really well together with Jesse to be honest, especially when going out. I don’t think they would be a cute couple though. They would be hot together yes but as far as I know Jesse, they would think the same. Lucia isn’t really their type. I just messaged her “è ok tesora” which is shit Italian for it’s okay darling. And yes don’t blame my Italian skills, it's all part of the learning process.

I also started up all the dating apps I have on my phone. I just want to see if something interesting has happened. But no. No Mx. Right being there, obviously. I’m not a big fan of dating apps to be fair but I’m also really needy sometimes so I think they do their job. I feel like a lot of people just tinder or whatever because they are bored and want to judge people. I mean that’s why I downloaded it. Waiting till you find the right person there that makes you happy? Fck that. People on dating apps can be really gross and I’m happy I haven’t met so many yet. Gosh sometimes I hate people. They can make you feel miserable and unwanted for so many reasons. I already have a hard time connecting with people, even though that is what I lowkey do for a living. Everytime I try to get in touch with someone I try so hard not to be cringe and weird but I just make everything worse. Some of my friends called me an underdog for a long period of time. It’s stupid because even an Underdog shines bright as the night light. I think often people try to be nice while acting really selfish. I mean I do too. I'm selfish but at least I admit it. If I don't want to meet anyone I don't. I have my reasons. Others may not understand them but well, I simply don't care. I don't care what others think of me. I already assume they hate me so it's either proven right or I get a pleasant surprise. Not that either happened. 

Well enough drowning in thoughts already. I shut down my PC and turned alexa on again to play some of the older episodes of my favorite podcast. It’s 2 in the morning so I try to sleep really fast, which I did. I’m also sorry for my blog but I don't have the time to write it tomorrow so I just wrote it the night before! I hope that whoever is reading this will not be upset with me.

I wonder what tomorrow holds.

[sometimesrosy]

Hello! How are you? I have a somewhat different/maybe difficult question. I always had a group of friends when younger, but going into university that friend group kind of fell apart as we all moved to different places, and coming back we all have ours lives and some aren’t even here. During university, and in a big city, although I got along with many people, I got used to do things by myself if I wanted to do them. I even had depression (more than one factor, but I think the lack of connections had a role here) and still forced myself to leave the house and go cry at the mall or the movies. Once I came back to my hometown, I was already dating a friend from there, and then with the work field I was in and covid, I didn’t really get to develop a relationship with anyone else. Now, at work, I have colleagues I consider friends, but we rarely get together outside of work because most already have kids and live in the surrounding towns. This, to say that, I am pretty content with my partner, who accompanies me on most of the things that I want to do, and with my mom, who goes out for a coffee with me almost everyday, for example. BUT I feel like I don’t know how to do things by myself anymore. I feel like if there’s a movie or TV show I want to watch, I want to watch and share it with my partner. If he doesn’t want to watch it at the time, I get in a limbo not knowing what to do at that time. We’re both big into computers and video games, and we share an office, but I feel like I allow myself to get stalled mentally and end up doing nothing, and if I was alone, I would have been doing something for hours. This is a small town, so it’s harder for me to get hobbies outside the house. Physical activities are group classes at 7AM or 7PM, but I work most of the weeks on that later schedule, and the 7AM class would completely ruin my sleep pattern. Then you have yoga and pilates, mostly at those hours too, because it’s a small town so people aren’t available at other hours. I can’t find a languages class that isn’t online or basically private, which has super high prices. We don’t have a book club. We don’t have a music school that isn’t private and with individual classes. Everything is either at inconvenient hours for me due to my job (not complaining, just explaining) or super expensive because it would just be me or at least one more person. I feel like I’m dwelling too much thinking about my life and lack of friends, lack of money, etc, because I kind of have too much free time that I don’t know how to occupy anymore. I could spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing, just scrolling social media or something, because I don’t get myself to do anything at home. Then, when I want to do something and actually have no time because of work, I complain I don’t have time to do anything. I never thought I’d have a lack of hobbies, but here we are.

It's not that you don't know how to do things alone, it's that you've gotten out of the habit.

You've forgotten how to be your own company.

As a problem, it's actually a good one to have, because you are entirely capable of fixing it. Because it's about you. And who you need to check with to do it is... you. And who you need to consider before pushing is...YOU. It' makes everything more simple.

I understand that you're looking for social activities you can do and you are blocked because of money/time. Totally understandable. And I see your struggle. One thing you can do is look for an event outside of your town. The next town over? Even a nearby city. You can make a day of it. But that's for events or classes. Just look around and see something that fits your schedule even if you have to drive to get there. My town is also tiny and not active at all unless you're churchy. But somehow I joined an art collective. And I used to go to the poetry club. And I know there are are book clubs at the library but I haven't joined. And there's a comic book store and I'm pretty sure they have D&D sometimes. The point is look around again for activities and expand your search. Maybe you just haven't found it yet.

OTHERWISE. My suggestion for you is to start dating yourself.

Seriously. Take yourself out for dates. Figure out an activity you'd like to do and then set up an itinerary and do it. You want to see that movie no one else wants to watch? Set a date with yourself to make it to opening night.

Take a book that you've been dying to read to your favorite cafe and sit there and read your book and have the best coffees and treats and maybe buy yourself a fancy bookmark.

Want to do yoga? Set up your ipad with a good video and take it out side to a park or beach or yard and do it outside with a green smoothie as a treat afterwards.

Start your own book club. Ask at the library to put up a notice, or on community boards. Maybe the library has a room you can use to meet.

I used to wander the city with my journal, looking for cafes, where I'd sit and write and sketch.

Or hey. You know what's cool? Going out on a date with yourself to take photographs. Go to a place you always thought was interesting, and just walk around and take note of things. Take photos. Then collect your favorites and post them on tumblr or instagram or wherever.

You're stuck right now, but that doesn't mean you will always be stuck. Don't beat yourself up for being in between hobbies. You'll figure it out.

[princettegil]

A love letter to the Genshin fandom

I want to say how thankful I am to the Genshin fandom. It definitely has its lot of assholes and issues (like most large fandoms) but this is the first time I’ve ever gotten to really participate in a large, active fandom!

Before, when I was younger, I was really into Sailor Moon, but I was the only person in my school/grade to like it (or anime in general.) Later, it was Tokyo Mew Mew but again, I was alone in it. I visited fan sites for it constantly but that’s the only connections I had. After that came several other obsessions but they were smaller and there was even less around for them. Things like Bleach and InuYasha and FMA were huge but the amount at my school for them or any other anime barely existed, and I was never obsessively into them. Just a simple fan who enjoyed them. After that came one of my biggest obsessions – Dragon Knights! That was the first time I got to join a forum for a fandom, but I was still so shy that I barely interacted. I just sat back and enjoyed reading everyone else’s conversations and asking a question every now and then. Then came Tumblr and I finally had a chance to reach out! But the DK fandom was just re-emerging from its long slumber thanks to the new platform. I met and talked to a few people, and it was enjoyable but since we were such a tiny fandom (I can count the number of ppl who were active in it on my hands!) there was never much going on and finding anyone irl that even knew it existed let alone was a fan was even more difficult.

I’ve hopped around several fandoms here and there, always a constant watcher of whatever interests me every anime season, I still occasionally draw fanart and read fanfiction and cosplay as them but there’s never a very large presence for most of them. Even when it is fairly popular at large, finding closer fans irl or even online is much harder. Even with Genshin, I must admit I only have a couple people I can talk about it with but since it’s a pretty easily accessible game, most people (even outside the anime fandom) know about it at least a little or, at least, accept it more than most anime. But it’s just knowing that there is SO MUCH out there for it! That it hasn’t died down yet like most of my fandoms, that even normies/non-weebs can get into it, and its so popular and accessible! I go to local (smaller) cons and still see LOTS of cosplay for it! And so far, all of the ppl I’ve seen are super nice! They even recognize who I’m cosplaying! Which has been rare for me. Even without many friends or people I can talk to about it, it’s just nice to see it flourishing and so many people enjoying it!

I was late to most of my fandoms or just didn’t have anyone nearby to talk to about them. I didn’t meet any fellow anime fans until high school! (Rural podunk town problems.) And even then, there were just a small handful, and we didn’t get to talk or hang out much. Now, anime is much more accepted, and I see tons of young people who like it, tons who will never be aware of how isolating fandom used to be or how obscure it used to be! But Genshin is still the biggest fandom I’ve gotten to take part in while it’s going on – and though I’m still lonely when it comes to joining in, it’s at least comforting to know there are so many out there who love the same thing! So many people who know about it, can talk about, who understand my love for it – it’s truly amazing! So, regardless of the ship wars and nonsense that rages in this fandom (I mostly just ignore it lol) I’m still glad it exists and I get to take part in it! Thanks everyone!

[harrysgoldenline]

can you pls write an angst where y/n went to her and harry's house that they bought or something like that in Italy to try to move on and go on with her life after harry broke up with her but then she never expected that harry will be there as well with his new gf.... you can end it whatever you like!! thank you

Word Count: 1.6K

Warnings: idk, sad I guess? also not proof read oops sorry lol

When In Italy

It has been three months since you’ve last seen or spoken to Harry. A very abrupt change after being together for four years, with constant talk of marriage and starting a family, the break up was something either of you really expected. It started as a break of sorts, eventually turning into a complete break up after only a couple weeks in a somewhat mutual way. With Harry's career taking off in so many different ways, with acting, the new tour and more, his life had changed completely and has left him very little time for anything else.

It went from daily phone and FaceTime calls, constant text messages and flowers being delivered to nothing.

“You really think that’s a good idea?” Your best friend asked you, concern plastered all over her face, “that won’t bring up too much?”

She had been sitting with you as you finished packing up your suitcase, trying her best to give you her support as you were going to be going on a spur of the moment trip to Italy and staying at the home of you and Harry, needing the much needed getaway and disconnecting completely. Seeing different things online about him all the time didn’t make it any easier and no matter how hard you tried to avoid it, he always found his way to pop up.

“I just need a break, everything here is a reminder to.” You sigh, “I just want a change of scenery. I think it’ll be good for me.”

“I hope so…” she frowned, looking up at you with a sad smile, “please don’t just sit there in the house all alone. Go out, meet some local Italian men!”

“I’m definitely not ready for that.” You say, forcing a laugh as you close your suitcase, zipping it up and placing it on the floor by your door, “but I will really try, I promise. I will call you if I need you and you can come out?”

“Hell yeah I can.” She laughs, standing up and giving you a hug, “and you’re really going right now?”

You bite your bottom lip as your eyes fill up with tears, nodding quickly as you look at her and she quickly pulled you in a tight hug.

“You can do this.”

***

You pulled your suitcase through the front door, waving goodbye to the driver as you turned around to close the door behind you as they left you alone in the house that has so many memories inside. You pause at the door, taking a couple deep breaths as you look around and try and keep your mind at bay before walking to the guest bedroom, deciding the main bedroom was too much and the guest bedroom was already way nicer than your apartment.

After taking the time to unpack, knowing you would stay awhile, you put away your things into the various drawers and closet in the room. You keep out a swimsuit and change into it quickly, sliding a simple dress overtop before walking out onto the balcony attached to the bedroom, taking in the smell of the ocean and beautiful view, memories overwhelming your senses.

“Well don’t you look absolutely stunning.” You can practically hear him say all over again, reliving the memory as if it was actually happening, “ ‘m the luckiest man in the world.”

You remember him coming up behind you, arms tight around your waist as his head rested on your shoulder, soft kisses being pressed along your shoulder as you leaned back into him, a large smile covering both of your faces before you leaned your head back, connecting your lips before he pulled back.

“I can’t decide…” He had whispered, connecting your lips again.

“Decide what?” You had giggled, turning around to face him, arms resting around his shoulders as his came around your waist.

“If I want to get married here or have our honeymoon here.”

You shuddered slightly as the memory came back, letting out a deep breath before packing a beach bag quickly and leaving the house just as fast, taking a walk down to the private beach and settling yourself in a lounge chair. Applying your sunscreen you could almost convince yourself it was him applying it on you like he always would do, large hands massaging it into your skin.

You push the thought away as you grab your phone, playing music softly to try and distract your mind. Your fingers hovered over your different social media apps, wanting desperately to just give it a quick click, wondering if you could get any update on where he could be from his fans, posts always finding their way on your feed. Instead, you hold it down, deleting all of the various apps and throwing your phone down on your bag, grabbing your book and letting the music play, opening to the first page to try and escape into the new world.

***

After a few hours been spent peacefully on the beach, you decided to head back to the house to take a nice bubblebath and order yourself some dinner, deciding that you would go to town the next morning in order to cook some of your own meals. The walk back to the house was more enjoyable this time and you began to feel a sense of hope as you approached the house, your heart not clenching in as much pain as it originally had done when you first pulled up to the house earlier that day.

Using your keys, you unlocked the back door, locking it behind you again as soon as you got inside, making your way to the bathroom right away and letting the water fill up the bathtub, pouring in some of the fancy bubblebath that you remember buying once from your favorite boutique in town, making a mental note to stop there again tomorrow.

Discarding your clothes, you hung them up, deciding you could use it once more as a cover up after not even going into the water, and you honestly didn’t even have the energy to even think about doing laundry right now, even simply showering was too much most days so you were happy to submerge yourself simply into the warm water, eyes fluttering closed as it embraced you with it’s comfort.

You began preparing yourself a mental list of things you could do tomorrow, forcing yourself to get out of the house and keep yourself occupied after locking yourself away in your apartment the past few months, planning on taking baby steps but knowing that even starting will be more like a push off a cliff.

Pulling yourself out of the bath once finishing cleansing your body, deciding to save washing your hair for the next day, you pulled yourself out of the bath, honestly just wanting to curl up into bed and go to sleep but knowing you needed to force yourself to eat something. So, you dry off, applying some matching lotion to your body, which made you feel a sense of pride of yourself as you made small steps to take care of yourself again, thanking the air of Italy as self motivation and threw on the robe that you swear was the softest one in the world.

A sudden sound coming from the house made you jump, a hand coming over your chest to try and calm your racing heart as your mind tried to think of all of the possibilities of who could be there, or maybe it was coming outside? Or honestly at this point you thought it could be your imagination as the memories that have been flashing into your mind have been so vivid it felt like it was actually happening. Your feet softly padded on the wood flooring, making your way to what you thought was the site of the sound, feeling bile rise in your throat at the sight before you.

It was Harry there, with one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen in your life, laughing together.

You weren’t sure if they saw you, both of their hair wet as towels wrapped around them and it seemed like they had just got back from the beach, making you think that you must have just missed each other as you swapped positions. You slowly walk backwards, thinking of running out the back towards the beach and calling a car, leaving all of your clothes there.

You could see slightly into the master bedroom, seeing their suitcases sprawled and things laid on the couch as they chatted together, knowing they must have arrived when you were down at the beach, your presence unknown as all of your things sat seemingly hidden in the guest room which you were now desperately trying to go and hide in, but after it being too log since you been here, you accidentally ran into the wall, a photo that was hanging there crashing to the floor, glass shattering.

Two heads quickly snapped their way towards you, both pairs of eyes meeting yours as gasps left both of their lips, Harry’s face going pale as he saw you. You opened your mouth to speak, but with this being your first time seeing your partner since the breakup, no words were able to come out.

Spinning on your heel your ran back into the guest bedroom, pulling the suitcase out of the closet and messily shoving all of your clothes into it, tears stinging your eyes and unable to hold them in as they silently spilling on you cheeks, more coming as you heard the familiar steps coming your way, feeling the presence behind you and hearing the door shut softly behind you.

“Y/N?”

—————————————————————————

Part 2 anyone???

ALSO PLEASE READ THIS!!

I was wondering what people would think about me doing personalized little blurbs/imagines for people who donate to my tip jar? you could give me your name, prompt, pronouns, etc and i will write it just for you!! :) i’m trying to write more and it’s hard bc i’m a broke college student who needs to work but if people who WANT a personalized little fic with bucky or harry or something with their own name and such maybe I could do something like that? of course I will still be doing all normal requests and such but this way it’s kinda like a one time patreon for people who want to do something like that? idk please comment/send me a message/ask and let me know what you think!!!! let’s talk!

[t-lostinworlds]

Truth or Drink (Tom Holland)

[YouTube AU: Video 2]

a/n: this took a while asdfghjkl this was in my drafts since oct. at 7k already (but got distracted with other WIPs as always) and was suggested by this anon back in aug. so i’m sorry this took a so long hun. also, the gif took a fucking while too ‘cause we are extra in this house haha (i mean, i wanted the time in the vid to match the wc so ha). anyway, enough babbling and let’s get into the video! lol, i hope you guys enjoy this one!

summary: You and Tom do a couples Q&A where you spilled steamy secrets with the help from alcohol. pairing: tom holland x fem!reader warnings: dialogue bonanza (lots of laughing and asking), alcohol consumption, secret spilling (from both parties), teasing from everyone (will include dirty jokes from the lads), mentions of smut & risque aka sex-themed questions. word count: 14.2k+ (aha enjoy!)

☰ youtube channel | previous video << ǁ >> next video ☰ masterlist on bio & pinned post

⚠ DISCLAIMER: this is a multi-part (not a series) which is basically one-shots happening in the same universe meaning you don’t need to read the previous one to understand this one since they are not heavily connected plot wise. although each fic does happen chronologically, you don’t need to read them in order much like how you don’t need to watch youtube videos in order.

-:-:-:-:-

You knew something was about to happen the moment you walked into the dining area, the way Tom immediately went to latch onto you like a koala bear—as if he hasn't seen you just minutes before—tells all.

"What are you up to now?" you asked with a playful scrunch of your nose.

You rested your hands on his shoulders, the fabric of his pink hoodie—while you wore his other pink hoodie, outfits not at all planned since you just took the first thing you saw in his closet—soft to the touch as you took a glance at the camera that was set up at the head of the dining table. The greenery of the outside world behind the glass doors served as a backdrop to the shot.

The crease between your brows deepened at the sight, gaze landing back on the boy attached to your hip who was hugging you sideways with a certain glow in his eyes.

"I'm not up to anything," Tom denied, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck to litter the skin with sweet and soft kisses. Although the gesture made your heart melt, it also made your suspicion grow. You just know there was more to this than meets the eye.

Strong arms staying around your torso, Tom pulled away slightly so he could meet your gaze again, a certain smile growing on his lips, one you know too well. It was the usual smile he wears whenever he wants something from you, a favor perhaps. An all too powerful grin that had you made him get away with things—mostly stupid ones—easily that you aren't exactly proud to admit.

"Tom," you warned with a raise of a brow, enough seriousness and command in your tone that he was quick to give in.

"Okay, okay, we're shooting the next video," he chuckled, tracing your jaw with the tip of his nose before giving it a soft peck. "Which I am hoping you'll do with me still," he murmured, placing another kiss on your cheek before pulling away to look at you fully as he flashed you a not-so-innocent smile.

Bingo.

Tom just doesn't suddenly become so clingy—well, he normally is but more than usual anyway—especially out of nowhere without it having an underlying reason.

You narrowed your eyes at him skeptically. You stayed silent as you weighed your odds, if the enjoyment of making the video was worth it for you to endure the obvious embarrassment that would come with it. You do love this YouTube thing he's got going on, you truly do enjoy being a part of it. But with the things he's spilled in the last video, you just want to make sure that this time won't be too much, though you highly doubt it.

It was hilarious how his bottom lip started to go at your reaction, eyes turning rounder, cuter that would give Puss in Boots a run for his money. And just as you counted in your head, three, two, one—

"Please, darling? Do it with me?" Tom cooed, placing his head on your shoulder as he gave your waist a loving squeeze, fluttering his eyelashes at you in the most adorable of ways with that cute pout to match. It was his signature look whenever he wanted something, the look of handsome and adorable persuasion. "I'll keep the secret-spilling at a minimum, love. And besides, we can always edit it out."

You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head at the fact that you're saying yes either way. You can never say no whenever he puts on that very persuasive face of his, can never resist him even if you tried. And of course, Tom knows this power he has over you, and he's mastered a way on how and when to use it to his advantage.

You aren't exactly proud to say that he has never failed once, his tactic very effective and that's putting it lightly. It's sneaky and annoying sometimes but it's still cute nonetheless.

Though, never did he once abuse this weakness of yours, only using it with the little things—like letting him sneak in some snacks on set when he was instructed not to or when he wants to do certain stuff—because when it's something serious and you say 'no,' then he's quick to listen and settle when you've made your final decision. He knows you only have the best intentions when it comes to his safety and just him in general, so there's really no doubt on Tom's behalf when it comes to following you on that.

"Why me? Why not give the other boys a chance to be in the spotlight?" you proposed, not giving him the satisfaction of winning just yet.

Tom shrugged with a wide smile. "The fans love you," he hummed.

The reception of the last video was mostly positive. Maybe it was the fact that you've been with Tom for a couple years already.

Your relationship was private of course, but it wasn't a secret. It was relatively the both of you showing glimpses of it every now and then online. So, compared to when the news first broke out, this time was a bit calmer. There are still trolls and haters—they're always going to be there unfortunately—but you've learned to shut them out, turning your focus more on the ones who are very positive and supportive. They should be the only ones who should be given attention to, no point wasting your energy on random keyboard warriors.

"You mean they love it when I make fun of you?" you said, laughter escaping your lips soon after when Tom buried his face back on the crook of your neck as he groaned in dismay.

Let's just say his fans quite enjoyed how you handled him in the last video, the teasing, the banter, the whole lot. Tom hasn't been able to escape the countless clips that are circulating the good old internet. No matter which platform he uses, a clip or meme is always there to haunt him. Most of them vary from him screaming and wriggling in pain; laughing like a hyena while also wriggling in pain; the random facial expressions he's made; and even sometimes, a snapshot of you looking at him in great disappointment and/or embarrassment. That's just some among the plethora of other memes.

Tom had seen it coming of course, but it doesn't mean it's any less embarrassing, especially with how clueless he seemed when it came to women.

"Unfortunately, that too," he grumbled.

"Okay then, might as well give them more content," you teased, Tom pulling away again to gawk at you with a look of feign betrayal crossing his features. You could only laugh at that, giving his jutted out lip a kiss to replace it with one of his many sweet smiles. Despite you saying it in a joking manner, he can't really deny that that would happen either way. After all, no matter what he does, he will always be a walking meme.

Tom finally lets you go after one more peck on the cheek, guiding you towards the seat by the other end of the table soon after. He helped you in like the gentleman that he is, a kiss landing on top of your head once you were seated before he made his way towards his place.

"What are we doing this time?" you asked when Tom sat down on the chair across from you.

And as if on cue, Harry walked into the dining area with two bottles of gin on hand, Harrison following suit with a bowl of half-sliced limes along with Tuwaine with a bucket of ice and two Collins glasses.

"Truth or drink," Harry said with a wide grin, lifting the bottles of Aviation gin to further prove his point.

"You guys chose me to do this with him because I'm a lightweight, which means I'm more likely to talk, didn't you?" you said, narrowing your eyes at each of them as they placed their respective items right in front of you in the middle of the table.

All three boys gasped exaggeratedly at your accusation, shaking their heads as they made their way behind the camera, chorusing a bunched of:

"Oh no, of course not."

"That was not the plan."

"We would never."

You could only roll your eyes at them, playfully of course, turning back to Tom who was quick to throw his hands up in surrender once he took in your expression of pure suspicion.

"I swear, I just want to do this with you, plain and simple," he confessed, though his follow up sentence made you think that it wasn't as plain and simple. "But you are very funny when you have alcohol in your system."

"Does that mean I'm not when sober?" You raised your brow at the man across you, sitting straight up as you clasp your hands together, resting it on the table to seem serious.

Tom shook his head frantically. "No! You're still very funny sober!" he rushed. "Love, you know what I meant," he added with a whine, head dropping low once you let out a laugh, only lifting it back up to shoot you another pout. He can be quite gullible sometimes and you honestly love it, love teasing him about.

"Besides, it's a couples Q&A and the only couple here are you two so there aren't really any options. The only difference is that it has alcohol to spice things up a little," Harry said, now in his place behind the camera just like before.

"With equally spicy questions," Harrison added with a wriggle of his brows, coming back up on the head of the table to place a stack of white cards to which you assumed was where the questions were written.

"You guys wrote the questions didn't you? Okay, this is a set up," you joked.

"They're harmless questions I swear!" Harrison defended with a laugh before returning back to his place by the camera. Though knowing them for as long as you have, you've learned to never trust those words fully. It was highly expected that the questions aren't going to be simple, let alone safe for work.

"But if you're not comfortable doing it, it's totally fine, darling," Tom said, smiling sweetly as he grabbed your hands across the table and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He knows you have never been an avid drinker. As you've said, you are lightweight. So, if ever you wanted to back out, he's just making sure you know that you have the option to.

"No, I'm fine with it. This will be fun," you said, flashing him a true, reassuring smile of your own, squeezing his hand in return for good measure. "But can I at least have some juice or something? I'm not drinking gin straight," you added.

"Figured you'd say that," Tom said with a wide grin, rushing up from his seat and disappearing into the kitchen. He came back not long after with a bottle of orange juice on one hand all while holding a spoon and paring knife on the other. "Rollin' down the street, smokin' indo, sippin' on gin and juice," he sang the good old Snoop Dogg classic no matter how corny, placing the bottle juice right beside the gin on the head of the table.

You narrowed your eyes at your man. "You seem prepared Tom."

"Nope, I just know you too well," he hummed, giving you a sweet peck on the forehead before he was back on his seat across you.

"Right, let's give the people what they want," you said, rubbing your hands together with a wide smile.

It was Tom's turn to look at you skeptically. "Why do I have a feeling that we'll just take turns in exposing each other?"

You tilted your head at him with a grin, shrugging your shoulders and said,

"How bad can it be?"

***

"And we are rolling."

"What's up guys! Tom Holland here," he introduced with a loud clap. "I'm back with another video joined by none other than the gorgeous Y/N." You waved at the camera with a sweet smile at the mention of your name. "The rest of the gang are behind the camera as per usual," Tom added, the lads cheering at their cue unenthusiastically and totally not in sync, chuckles and giggles following soon after.

"You can feel the excitement in the room," Tom said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. "Anyhow, since lovely Ryan Reynolds sent me a case of gin just recently, I thought; why not put it to good use?" Tom shot the camera a knowing look. "Hashtag not sponsored but should be!" he yelled, making you jump slightly at the sudden loud sound.

"Do you have to be so loud?" you grumbled, playfully covering your ears in the process.

"Oh, sorry love," Tom chuckled, shooting you a sweet smile before turning back to the camera, finger pointed at it as he said, "But Ryan, my DMs are always open."

"Always looking for someone to replace me," you sighed, shaking your head dejectedly as you turned to the camera with a deep frown.

"Ah, here we go," Tom groaned, shooting you a playful glare because he knows that the teasing would only get more and more prominent from here on out.

"What? You and I both know I've got a lot of competition," you said as a matter of fact, leaning back on your seat with arms crossed over your chest. "Mainly Jake G. and Harrison, with a couple of variations here and there but you get what I mean."

Tom shook his head at you with a teasing roll of his eyes. "Once again, my girlfriend everyone," he said to the lens with a tight lip smile before turning back to you with a deadpan expression. You only shrugged in response, flashing him an innocent smile.

"Anyway, a fan suggested this in the comments of the last video so today, we're going to be doing Truth or Drink," he continued, turning back to face the camera. "Rules are simple, we take turns on reading out the questions that are written on these cards right here"—Tom lifted the stack of white, rectangular cards before placing them back on the table—"and we either answer them truthfully or we take a drink."

"Oh and a little disclaimer," you paused as you looked at the camera. "The lads wrote the questions so we have no idea what's in the cards nor did we have any involvement in the choosing of certain topics which are possibly going to be discussed in this video," you added, feeling like it was a fact that needed to be said.

"Parental guidance is advised," Tom chuckled.

"They're not that bad you divs," Harrison grumbled.

Now you're certain on who wrote most of the questions, he's been keen on taking offense whenever anyone gets suspicious over them. "We'll be the judge of that," you stated, raising a brow at Harrison before turning back to Tom.

"Let's get right into it shall we?" Tom proposed. You gave him a nod in response, jutting out two thumbs up for good measure. "Ladies first," he said, flashing you a charming grin as he gestured towards the pile of cards.

You reached over to the pile, making sure to pick the card in the middle just to make sure that it was completely random. You adore the lads, but knowing how mischievous they can get, you've learned to always keep one eye open with regard to everything that they do. Plus, it was so easy to set it up for you to pick a certain question given that it was only you and Tom taking turns on picking a card.

"We are starting off with something a tad bit dark huh." You gave the lads a swift glance before turning to the card you had on hand. "If I killed someone would you help me cover it up?" you read out loud, placing the card on the discarded pile before your gaze landed on Tom who gave you a small, secretive nod 'yes' which only made you giggle.

Tom leaned forward as he rested his elbow on the marble surface, hand playing with his chin with his eyes on the ceiling to seem that he was deep in thought. He turned back to you and said, "Do we not get any context? Was it an accident or was it on purpose? Was it due to hate or fear? Was it justified?"

"It's a yes or no answer Tom," you laughed.

"Well then, you already know the answer but for legal purposes," Tom paused, reaching for the bucket of ice and putting some in his glass. He poured the gin on top of that and then added a dash of lime, swirling around the glass to mix them all together. "My lips are sealed," he chuckled, lifting the glass up to his lips and taking a drink. "Oh, that's good stuff," he commented, taking another sip before putting the glass back down.

"Hypothetically, if you were going to help, you'll probably be the one who'll get us caught if I'm being honest," you giggled to which Tom threw his head back with a laugh.

"Yeah, you'll tell me what you did, I'll get shocked and as we're getting stuff to you know, hypothetically hide the body, I'll go 'I can't believe you killed someone' in public and then someone will hear and call the police and we're done."

You burst out in a hearty laugh at that, nodding your head in agreement. "That's exactly how it's going to happen."

It was Tom's turn to pick a question, his grin growing wider as his eyes scanned the card in his fingers. "What's the most embarrassing thing you've done in front of me?" he asked, his features brightening in excitement because he already knows the answer. There wasn't really much to begin with other than that one incident that will always haunt you for the rest of your life.

"Do you want me to tell them the story?" you sighed, leaning back on your chair with palms flat on the table. It wasn't one of your finest moments that's for sure and Tom hasn't been letting you hear the end of it. In fact, it was one of his favourite stories involving you both.

"It's up to you, love. You don't have to if you don't want to." Tom shrugged with a smirk, reaching for your glass to get your drink made. "But that moment was so adorable for me though, embarrassing for you but very adorable for me," he added with a wink.

"Adorable or ego boosting?" you pointed out with a raise of your brow.

"Both," Tom laughed, adding some ice in your glass and pouring just the right amount of gin soon after.

You watched with an adoring smile as he poured in the orange juice, the sound of silverware and glass clinking together filling the air as he mixed up the liquids. He then squeezed a bit of lime in your drink, taking the paring knife soon after to slice up another lime in a thin circle, making a small slit in the middle so he can put it on the rim of your glass easily. Tom can be extra at times, of course he felt the need to decorate your drink, even when it wasn't exactly necessary but you wouldn't want it any other way.

"Look at you being a bartender," you teased, Tom looking up from his task to shoot you playful wink with a smug smirk to match.

"You love to see it."

You shrugged, not at all denying his claim because well, you do love seeing it.

"Here you go, mi lady," he hummed, handing you your beautifully decorated drink with a proud grin on his lips.

"Thank you, kind sir."

As much as how refreshing the cocktail looked in its cold glass and bright, orange colored glory, you know you had to be strategic with drinking. Because alcohol boosts your confidence, it makes you brave, it makes you say things you wish you hadn't when sober. And with you being lightweight, it isn't exactly ideal to be happy-go-lucky with it, especially knowing how these questions can go from one thing to another real quick.

You thought it's best to share embarrassing things that you can live with to keep the drinking at a minimum, rather than take too much alcohol too fast and say worse things down the line because you got somewhat tipsy or downright drunk. There's really no way of knowing how hard it hits given that different types of alcohol affect you in different ways.

"Okay, it was when we first met, which obviously doesn't make it any less embarrassing, first impressions and all that," you started, sitting straight up as your fingers drummed around the cool surface of your glass. "Me and a friend of mine were at this park and decided it would be fun to rent out these bikes to get around quicker, so we did. Lo and behold, Tom and Harrison were also at said park—"

"Oh yeah, I remember this," Harrison laughed. "This is going to be good."

You shot the blonde lad a quick glare before continuing. "Luck wasn't on my side that day—well, depends on how you look at things because I did meet Tom and seem to have gotten far," you laughed towards the camera, giving Tom a swift glance who was quick to lock eyes with you as he nodded agreeably with a chuckle. "But add that to me being very clumsy and simply put, I fell off the bike right in front of him," you sighed dejectedly, heat coating your cheeks as the lads chuckled in their seats, purely in amusement and not at all in a demeaning way.

"Go on love, let's hear the full thing," Tom encouraged, sitting back on his chair with his arms crossed over his chest to relax, attention fully on you as if he hasn't heard this story many times before. He genuinely does love hearing it. As you've said, it was one of his favourites.

"I'm getting there," you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at Tom who only flashed you an adorable, bright smile, knowing that if he does that, you can't stay mad at him. With a another sigh, you continued, "As we were riding our bikes, we saw him and Harrison sitting on this random bench from afar doing, I don't know, maybe they were on a date or something—"

"Darling, don't try and steer the topic here," Tom laughed. You stuck out your tongue at him—yes, very mature—his laughter only growing louder at your reaction.

"I'm a big fan of the Marvel movies, so obviously, I knew who he was. I was trying to keep my cool, you know, I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him and thought I'll just ride pass, don't want to disturb whatever they had going on. But as soon as we got near to where they were sat, he looked towards my direction and we made eye contact—"

"The power I have," Tom crooned with a smug smile, earning a pointed eye-roll from you.

"Oh shut up. You know that wasn't the sole reason why I fell," you scoffed. "The chains on my bike went loose so I had no full control over it. We weren't going slowly as well because this friend of mine thought it was a good idea to one up each other so we kept going faster and faster, racing towards who knows what.

"So, my next option was to just plant my foot on the ground to stop it right? But as I've said, luck wasn't on my side that day. Before I could even do it, a rock went under the front wheel—which I didn't see given that I was distracted, you lot know why—and completely took me off balance and the bike went sideways real quick that I didn't have any time to react at all. And...did I roll a few times?" You turned to your boyfriend.

"Twice," he confirmed, a sympathetic smile on his lips as he tilted his head at you sweetly.

"Now, I don't see why you find this story adorable." You narrowed your eyes at your man.

"Not the actual accident, darling. It's what happened after that I found adorable. You were so cute being all shy and embarrassed," Tom defended with a pout. "And you know for a fact that whenever I see you with the smallest scrape or cut I panic and fuss over you immediately."

"You do. A bit too overdramatically," you giggled. It was a bit much sometimes how he worries but that's just Tom being the caring and overprotective boyfriend that he is. "Anyway, so yes, I rolled on the ground twice but all I remember was that I was already lying on my back, watching the sky while my knees, forearms up to my elbows and palms were burning. Then I saw Tom approaching and I swear I was just wishing that the ground would swallow me up right then and there," you finished.

"I quickly rushed to her aid, because you know, I'm Spider-Man," Tom added with a cocky shrugged, arms open wide as if to showcase himself.

There was a loud, collective groan from the lads which earned a laugh from you and a sound of pure protest from Tom.

"It's true!" he exclaimed. "Anyway, she then went, 'oh, my knight and shining armour, my handsome Prince Charming'," Tom gushed, voice at a higher pitch with the utmost exaggeration as he placed the back of his hand over his forehead. "And I went, 'don't worry princess, I'm here to save you,' and then we kissed and lived happily ever after," he concluded with the cheekiest smile.

"We remember this story very differently." You shook your head at him with a hearty laugh. This boy is always something else. "But fine, I'll give you the Prince Charming part because you did look like it.

"What you said was, 'miss, are you alright?' which was very formal of you, especially with the accent." You turned to the camera with a suggestive wiggle of your brows, making Tom drop his head shyly with a chuckle as his cheeks turned slightly pink. "And no, we didn't kiss. You don't kiss people you just met Thomas, get a hold of yourself. He helped me up and was kind enough to offer to take me to the hospital which wasn't needed since it was just a few cuts and scrapes but still insisted that I get checked. Who knew you'd be overprotective since day one," you laughed.

Tom shrugged with a chuckle. "We got to know each other while in the hospital and after she got cleaned up, I thought, I liked talking to her and I really don't want to say goodbye just yet. So, I invited her to lunch which she surprisingly said yes," he teased, sarcasm laced in his tone at his last sentence as he shot the camera a knowing and smug look. You kicked him lightly under the table, the action catching him off guard making him let out a yelp.

"It was more of me being polite because you helped and that. Didn't want to seem rude by saying no," you said, Tom gasping in full offense at your words. You let out a laugh as you rushed, "I'm kidding! Of course I wanted to go to lunch with you. It was impossible to say no because you've been really sweet and a real gentleman that day. And well, it was fun hanging out with you."

Tom smiled widely at that, nothing but pure love coating his features as he held your gaze, hand sneaking over to yours that was on the table and giving it a quick but loving squeeze.

"Where did Harrison go?" Harry wondered, the blonde boy suddenly turning silent and surely enough when you gave him a swift glance, he was already blushing.

"I had my friend with me, Tom had Harrison, you do the math," you said plainly, laughter laced in your tone.

"Oh, so you got some that day," Tuwaine chuckled, nudging the boy beside him with his elbow.

"Shut up, Tuwaine," Harrison grumbled, swatting away his friend lightly.

"But in conclusion, I am a superhero in real life," Tom stated proudly, swiping away the imaginary dust that was lying on his shoulder. He turned to the camera with a bright and wide smile. "But I do thank that bike every day."

"A bit sadistic but okay," you added, looking at Tom skeptically with a scrunch of your nose.

"No! I meant we wouldn't have gotten to know each other if that didn't happen," Tom rushed, lips turning into a pout when you only did nothing but laugh. "You're mean."

"You're just too adorable not to pick on," you giggled, his pout turning more prominent at your words.

You so badly wanted to get up off your seat and give him a proper kiss, but those things are always reserved privately. You two had never been big with public displays of affection, just the casual holding hands and occasional hugs. There are a few instances where you'll sneak a quick kiss while hanging out with friends but that's different compared to it being on tape for the whole world to see later on.

"Anyhow, what's the most embarrassing thing that you have done in front of me?" You asked back, your turn to grin wide because you know which story it was going to be, the way Tom's cheeks were quick to be dusted red was a clear indication that you were right.

"I'm smooth as hell, would never embarrass myself in front of a lady," he said casually, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back on his chair, all cool and suave.

"Oh shut up and tell the story," you said with a playful roll of your eyes, Tom letting out a shy chuckle before he leaned on the table.

"Right, it was our second date and I split my trousers open," he said, short and sweet, though his blush was already deepening because Tom knows the sharing won't stop there.

"Wait, how open?" Tuwaine asked.

"Like full on, centre to back, underwear and inner thighs with a bit of butt showing open. It would have been a bit better if I wore black pants—boxers to the American people—and black trousers right? But me being unlucky, I went for light-coloured denim jeans and black pants that day so it's fully obvious that I did ripped my trousers open," he chuckled shyly, hand going to rub at his shoulder, body slightly crouched as he refused to look away from his glass of gin.

"Go on Thomas, let's hear the full thing," you prodded, throwing his previous words right back at him.

He lifted his head up to shoot you a playful glare, though sat straighter anyway, elbows now on the table with his hands clasped together as he got ready to tell his story. "We were well underway our second date, a simpler one which was a walk in a somewhat less crowded park—"

"What's with you two and parks?" Harrison pointed out with a chuckle.

"Disaster just waiting to happen as you can tell," Tom laughed.

"We've steered clear from parks after all these incidents," you joked with a giggle.

"I did a flip and didn't land the right way was basically what happened," Tom continued, turning to the camera with a look of dismay. "We were walking by a couple of street dancers who were practicing a routine and they were doing all sorts of flips and tricks. She stopped walking completely and watched—wait, correction, stared at this certain bloke who was doing backflips—"

"I was not staring," you butted in. "I was just watching him do his thing and said how cool it was. And why are you making it seem like it's my fault?" you gasped, placing a hand over your heart, feign offence crossing your features.

"I'm not!" Tom laughed, hands up in surrender before he crossed his arms over his chest. "All I'm saying was that I was trying to impress you, which is why I offered to show you a flip. And as everyone in this room knows, I do the stupidest things when trying to impress a girl, especially when I like her that much."

"I was already impressed by you as is Tom, you didn't need to do a flip," you said as a matter of fact, small giggles escaping your lips as you looked at him with nothing but pure adoration. Tom felt his heart melt at the sight and more by your words. "And besides, I already knew you could do it. But somehow you felt the need to prove yourself after you saw me complimenting that dancer," you added.

"It's what you call ego, Tom," Harry laughed.

"Shut up, Harry." Tom shot his brother a glare though chuckled right after because it was in fact a bit true.

It was the silliest thing thinking back on it now, how he just said 'you want to see me do a flip?' out of the blue. You furrowed your brows at him in response, though your smile was laced with amusement. He just wanted to impress you as he'd said. And fine, maybe his ego got struck at teeny bit, and maybe he felt a little jealous that your attention got torn off of him because he truly did like you that much.

But at the end of the day, even though he had a little mishap, it all worked out so he wasn't at all complaining. "Anyway, so I did the flip, completely disregarding the fact that my shoes were slippy and my trousers were tight. I did land upright and not on my face this time so that's something," Tom chuckled. "But my right foot slipped so I was full on going on a wide split which I normally can't do since I am not flexible enough and proceeded to fall on my bum.

"The moment I heard the sound I instantly knew and just went, 'oh no' and remained on the ground because I didn't know what to do then. I was already embarrassed because I slipped, do I really want to tell her I tore open my trousers too?" Tom laughed timidly, the blush on his cheeks turning redder as he rubbed the back of his neck in utter embarrassment.

"I kind of knew right away though because I did hear something rip," you giggled. "He then just slowly stood up, hands behind, flat on his bum and said, 'I split my trousers open' in the smallest voice like a kid who's scared to tell their mum they fell or they'll get scolded. Plus his face was beet red, just like now." You pointed towards your boyfriend, who in turn stuck his tongue out at you as his blush turned into an even deeper shade of crimson.

"Thank God I wore a jacket that day and I was able to at least hide it until we got back to the car or else someone would've clocked it, took a picture, posted it on the internet and it would've made things much worse," Tom pointed out with a chuckle, glad that there was no paparazzi or it would've been a nightmare. "And the fact that you tried so hard not to laugh but still failed made me feel so embarrassed that I was quick to think that that was it. I ruined my chances, no more third date," he added as he turned to you with a small pout.

"I couldn't help laughing because it was the most adorable thing how you went from being all confident and cocksure on doing a flip to this shy boy who refused to look me in the eyes without turning even redder," you said, pure amusement laced in your tone. "But no, that incident made me like you more, it was just too endearing. Third date never left the table after that," you concluded with a sweet smile which only made Tom's grin grow wider.

"Even though she laughed, she was so sweet and kind about it. We had to cut our date shor—actually no, we didn't. We went back to your place and decided to do a movie marathon instead," Tom said fondly, face glowing with joy as the memory brought nothing but warmth across his chest.

"Yeah, with you wearing a pair of my sweatpants," you giggled, mirroring his expression as your mind recalled the sweet moment of you and him, simply cuddled up on the couch.

"And that's on getting the girl by splitting your trousers open," Tom said with a smug smile, pointing at the camera as he shot it a knowing look with a wriggle of his brows.

"And getting the boy by falling off a bike," you added, doing exactly what he did as you turned to face the lens.

"Look at us," Tom gushed, looking back at you with a smile, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. "Hey, look at us."

"Look at us. Who would've thought?" you giggled, giving his hand a squeeze in return.

You were always quick to catch on what he was trying to do that Tom couldn't help but smile widely, heart melting ten times over at the thought of you knowing him so well. "Not me," Tom chuckled, letting go of your hand and holding up his palm for a high-five to which you gladly obliged with laughs of your own.

"You two are made for each other," Harry chuckled with a shake of his head, now just getting that you two were recreating the famous Paul Rudd meme.

"My turn right?" Tom asked. You nodded with a hum as you pushed the pile of cards towards him. He let out a loud scoff once he read the question, his reaction making you raise a brow in both curiosity and slight dread. "Be honest," he said as he looked up from the paper, gaze landing on you. "Who do you love more, me," he paused for dramatic effect, narrowing his eyes at you before continuing, "Or Tessa?"

You let out a small groan as you hang your head low, fingers tracing the side of your cold glass. You let out a sigh of defeat before you met Tom's expectant gaze. "I can't possibly answer that question," you grumbled, bringing the glass up to your lips as you took a swift drink before placing it back down.

"That was such a tiny sip," Harrison pointed out.

"Alright, alright, I guess we can tell who the bad influence here is," you said with a teasing roll of your eyes, but still took another drink anyway, taking in more of it this time around. You just want to play the game fair and square. "You actually made that really well. It's really good," you hummed at Tom as you placed your drink back down, the lad grinning widely in response.

"Why thank you, darling," Tom crooned, voice smooth with a pride-filled smile, pushing over the pile of cards back in the middle of the table to get you to ask the next question.

"Okay, who wrote this?" You turned to the boys behind the camera with a raise of your brow. "If the alcohol wasn't going to do it, then this will definitely get the video restricted, unless you're going to bleep some words out?" You turned to Harry.

"I've got that covered," Harry laughed.

Glancing back at the card you had on hand, you asked, "If our sex life was porn, what genre would it be?" You looked up at Tom to see him try his best to hold back a smirk.

"Nope, not answering that," he laughed with a shake of his head as he lifted his glass off the table. "Mainly because there are too many genres that it would fit for me to only pick one," Tom muttered softly against his drink as he looked at you through his lashes. His words were muffled but you still heard it, you were closer to him after all. You felt your cheeks heat up at that, even more so when your man shot you a teasing wink before downing the shot of gin not long after.

Tom set his glass down and reached over to take another card. "What does your family think of me?" he asked with a clear of his throat.

"Well..." You slowly dragged your drink closer to you, Tom's mouth falling agape that you couldn't help but burst into a hearty laugh. "I'm kidding! You already know how much they love you," you said. "I mean, my parents call him 'son' so." You shrugged as you turned to the camera. Tom puffed out his chest all proud with a very smug smile on his lips. You rolled your eyes, sighing as you added, "They probably even love you more than they love me."

Tom chuckled, "My family loves you more than they love me, too—"

"I can vouch for that," Harry intervened.

"Thanks, Harry," Tom said sarcastically, flashing his brother a forced smile. Turning back to you, he finished, "So, I guess we're even."

You could only nod with a soft giggle, reaching over to the stack of cards to keep the pace going. "Lads! What's with these kinds of questio—you know what, I don't even expect any less from you guys," you sighed, pursing your lips as you re-read the question again before sitting straight up and looked into Tom's eyes. "What would you do if you caught me watching porn?" you asked.

"Watch it with you and help get it done, duh?" he answered without hesitation, leaning back on his chair as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Have done a couple times actually," Tom murmured, somewhat to himself, though not really since everyone in the room—and pretty sure the camera—heard it.

"Tom!" you hissed.

You felt your body tingle, legs instinctively closing together as the countless moments it happened replayed itself inside your brain. Although what he said wasn't false, it wasn't the full truth either. He didn't exactly catch you red handed, never did since you don't watch porn often.

All you did was asked him—merely out of curiosity—what type he mostly watches. Your question sparked an idea in his head which led to you sitting in between his legs, bare back against his naked chest as the laptop sat right in front of you both with the video of his choice.

Tom then made his way with you while you watched, making sure you never take your eyes off the couple on screen or else. He was always fully in control over you every time you do it, his fingers sometimes delicate, mostly rough, touch hot and heavy all over your skin, lips warm on your neck, teeth sharp against your bare shoulder as he brings you to the edge over and over and over with nothing but his hands. And once the video ends, Tom will take it upon himself to re-enact the whole of it with you—if you could still take it of course—bringing what was on screen to real life, full recreation from start to finish.

Best believed you're properly blissed out at the stop of every play.

Your boyfriend's eyes widened once he realized the actual volume of his voice, face turning a deep shade of red, sitting straight abruptly as he rushed, "No! Wait—dammit." Tom casted his eyes down shyly when the boys let out exaggerated gasps and sounds of disapproval, a telltale sign that they already heard it. "I'm sorry, darling." He met your gaze again as he shot you a sheepish smile, his head tilted to the side guiltily to which you only responded with a shake of your head.

Typical Thomas.

"Bleurgh, too much info," Harrison gagged, the other boys following suit with their own sounds of repulsion.

"Oh fuck off you divs. You guys wrote the questions so obviously, you wanted to find out," Tom countered, shooting the lads a glare each.

"We didn't expect you to actually answer it!" Harry defended.

"We're cutting that whole part out, no way that's going up online," you grumbled, eyes staring at nothing but your drink as you tried to hide the obvious embarrassment that's coated your features.

Tom reached across the table to give your hand a squeeze, you meeting his gaze to see him mouth a gentle 'I'm sorry.' You flashed him a sweet smile, squeezing his hand in return to tell him that it was alright. It wasn't live so there wasn't any real harm done, aside from future jokes from the boys. That you can deal with than having that confidential information on the internet which will then follow you around for the rest of eternity.

Letting go of your hand, Tom sat straighter and turned to the camera. "If you guys are wondering why there's a jump cut and my face is suddenly so red, it's because I spilled something I shouldn't have that we had to cut it out. And no, it's something you'll never find out," he chuckled shyly, knowing that once the video goes out, fans are going to be so annoyed and will pester him—and everyone in the room—nonstop to try and find out what was cut.

Better that, than embarrassing you in front of millions though, so he'll deal with them no problem. Because as promised, if you weren't comfortable with it staying in the video, then it gets cut out, no questions asked. You and what you're comfortable with always come first in Tom's book.

"Yet again, thank God we didn't do this live," you muttered with a playful roll of your eyes.

Tom shot you one last apologetic smile before he cleared his throat, "Right, moving on." He shifted in his seat and took another card from the pile. "What's the one thing you'd change about me?" he asked.

"Your height," you answered without missing a beat. You chewed on your lip to suppress a grin but still failed miserably, especially when Tom looked at you with his jaw hanging and his eyes wide open.

A chorus of 'ooh's erupted from the boys which only prompted a laugh from you, the joyous sound growing louder when they started to rub it to Tom even more.

"Pfft, apply ice on the burnt area," Harry said as he blew out his cheeks.

"Mate, she's just bodied you with that," Tuwaine tutted at Tom, rising up from his seat soon after to offer you a high-five. You gladly obliged with a laugh, Tom gawking at you with utmost betrayal on his face.

"You're lucky you're very cute, especially when you laugh," Tom grumbled as he shot you a playful glare. The crinkles on the corner of your eyes deepened as you only smiled brightly at him with a tilt of your head, which honestly made you look even more endearing. He could never be mad at you, too whipped to hold a grudge no matter how much you tease him. And besides, that's all there is to it, nothing but teasing jokes and banter.

"If I were you, Tom, I'd start taking those growth pills before she starts to question why she's even with you," Harrison proposed jokingly which earned boisterous laughter from the rest of the gang.

"You lot are so fucking overdramatic. I'm not that short," Tom quipped with a roll of his eyes, gaze landing back on you with his famous pout now in play yet again. "And babe, it's a truth or drink video, not a roast me video," he stated, palms flat on cool marble as he looked at you with puppy-dog eyes.

"I'm joking! I'm joking," you rushed with a giggle. "I wouldn't change a single thing. You know I love you, just the way you are," you sang the last line, though your voice held nothing but sincerity as you reached over to give his hand a loving squeeze. Tom nodded with a sigh, though never did he doubt your words, knowing it deep in his bones that physical traits would never outweigh how much you love him, no matter what.

"Right, let's keep this going," you said as you took another card. "Who is smarter, me or you?" you asked.

"Me," Tom said proudly.

"Well, that's a lie," you objected.

Tom couldn't help but laugh at that, nodding at you as he chuckled, "It's you, obviously. Have you seen the last video?"

"Hmm, I don't know, I think Tom's smarter. I mean, you decided to date him, Y/N, which isn't exactly the brightest decision," Harry inferred, earning a loud gasp from his older brother.

"Excellent point," you agreed, your boyfriend's head whipping towards your direction with nothing but absolute offense written on his face.

"Babe! You're supposed to be on my side!" Tom exclaimed. "Why are we roasting me all of a sudden?" he complained.

"You're just too fun to pick on," you laughed, Tom's bottom lip jutting out at your words. "Especially when you do that, too cute," you pointed out, the apples of Tom's cheek turning pink as a smile grew on his lips at the compliment. "But I am smarter," you concluded, shooting the camera a wink.

"Will not refute," Tom chuckled, keeping the flow of the game as he took another card. "If you weren't with me, who of my brothers would you consider dating?" he said, voice pitching higher at the last few words. A look of downright disgust covered Tom's face immediately as he looked at the boys behind the camera who were snickering like the mischievous little shits that they are. "You lot are grim."

You matched Tom's expression, scrunching your nose as you shook your head quickly. Having been with Tom long enough, you now see the three of the Holland boys as your own brothers, so the mere thought of dating any of them is just—

"I'm not even going to think about it," you grumbled as you took a sip of your cocktail and then picked a card right away. "Who's the celebrity who you were the most disappointed with when you met them?" you continued swiftly, a smile on your lips as you looked at Tom who let out a sigh.

"You know I can't answer that," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone, your smile growing wider as you picked up the bottle of gin and refilled his glass. "Thank you, darling," he chuckled with a shake of his head, taking a drink right after.

"Is there anyone in my friend group, famous or not, that you do not like?" Tom continued with a raise of his brow, gaze steady on you.

You emptied your glass—that was still half full—without a single word and placed it back down with a small burp. "Oh, excuse me," you cleared your throat with a laugh.

Tom's brows furrowed at you in mere curiosity, gesturing for your glass so he can remake you another drink. You slid it over to him with a soft 'thank you' and a sweet smile. He started opening up the bottle of juice though his eyes were still on you, narrowed in pure skepticism.

"Who?"

"Not part of the question, Tom," you said, flashing him an innocent smile

"I know who it is," Harry coughed fakely.

"Me too," Tuwaine added with a fake cough of his own.

"It's Harrison because he's trying to take you away from me," you commented, laughing at how the blonde lad gasped in utter protest.

"That's a lie because I know who it is too," Harrison defended.

"So, everyone knows except me?" Tom mused, rolling his eyes in the process.

"What else is new?" you giggled with a shrugged, Tom only sighing as he shot you yet another pout. This boy never ceases to use it since he knows you always swoon whenever he does. 'I'll tell you later,' you mouthed, making him nod with a proud smile.

You gently leaned back on your seat, closing your eyes when you felt a little woozy. You took in slow, deep breaths, the marble cold against your palms as your body started to grow warmer from head to toe.

Maybe downing that drink wasn't the best idea.

"You okay, darling?" Tom asked sweetly, tilting his head at you in worry as he went to take your hand in his. His brows knitted together when your skin felt unusually warm in his palms.

"Yeah," you giggled, opening your eyes to meet his concern-filled brown ones, flashing him a reassuring smile and a nod to match as you gave his hand a squeeze. "Just the alcohol slowly kicking in."

"Want to take a minute, sweetheart?"

"No, I'm good. Go on and ask the question bubba," you prompted as you beamed at him, Tom's heart melting at the beautiful curve on your features and more by the sound of that sweet nickname. Although, he knew that you'd reached your calm before the storm.

You're always smiley and extra sweet when you start to get a little tipsy. But from here on out, especially if you decide to take even more alcohol, you start switching from calm to giddily energetic. That's when the words would start flowing out your lips before your brain could even register what you've just said.

Tom replaced your hand with a white card once he was sure you were fine. A cheeky grin erupted on his face as he asked, "What's your favourite sex position?"

You pursed your lips, eyes landing on the ceiling, fingers drumming on the marble surface of the table as you pondered on it for a second. Tom watched you intently, a soft chuckle escaping him when you met his gaze again with a sweet yet shy smile.

"I've got three though," you said, mostly to him but in a not-so-hush tone. Your mind and your mouth don't cooperate sometimes when there's alcohol in the mix.

"Different one for a different mood," Tom hummed with a smirk, finishing up your drink with a squeeze of lime, mixing it up before sliding it back towards you. "Just say one or take a drink, darling."

"I need to slow down with drinking or else I'll be saying much worse things. I can already feel my filter shutting down," you breathed out, tilting your head to the side as you gazed at Tom for a bit of help. "But do I really want this out in the world?"

"Oh, go on Y/N, live a little," Harrison prodded with nothing but utter mischief in his eyes.

You don't know why but somehow, Harrison words were the last straw for that burst of confidence to suddenly overflow. Boldness coated your every nerve as you squeezed your eyes shut and straight up blurted,

"Doggy."

Tom's eyes grew wide, both of his brows rising as he looked at you surprised. Yes, doggy was one of your—and his—favourites, he already knew that, what surprised him was you actually saying it out loud. Although he was swift to turn cocky as he leaned back on his seat, arms crossed over his chest while he kept his gaze steady on you.

As you peaked one eye, you saw that certain smirk of his now playing on his pink lips, one you only ever see privately. You felt your face heat up at that, added from the alcohol and embarrassment. The warmth was quick to spread to the rest of your body though, with the way he was looking at you, it was so hard for it not too. And as your eyes fully soaked him in, gaze traveling from his handsome face sporting that teasing smirk to his bulging biceps, the temperature could only rise. Your senses was now somewhat heightened that you were able to notice every single thing that made your man so fucking attractive and downright hot.

Since when did his hoodie grow even tighter? And damn, why is it so hot all of a sudden? It's probably the alcohol, or mainly just Tom, or simply both.

"Favourite type of porn!" you hear someone from the gang call out—probably Harrison since he's been causing trouble from the very start—interrupting your thoughts. With the alcohol in your system, just as expected, your brain genuinely forgot to take control of your tongue before you could even tell yourself: 'don't!'

"Sometimes hardcore," you let out, slapping your hand over your mouth immediately as your eyes grew wide. You quickly met Tom's eyes, his brown orbs glowing with shock, amusement and a sprinkle of lust. He gave you a soft nod with a soft smile in response, confirming that yes, you said it out loud, and yes it was already too late. "Oh no, this was what I meant when I needed to slow down on alcohol," you groaned, rubbing your hand over your warm face before looking back across your man with a pout.

"Aye! Hardcore doggy yeah?" Harrison cheered teasingly, moving towards Tom and giving his best friend a pat on the shoulder. Tom threw his head back with a laugh, face red but the look of utmost pride was also there. Harrison swiftly offered his fist to Tom, to which the brunette gladly indulged, their knuckles colliding as chuckles escaped the two mates.

You let out a choked laugh as your eyes widened in surprise, jaw going slack with your face heating up even more. "Did you guys just fist bump to that?"

"I mean." Tom shrugged, throwing his hands up with the smuggest grin, causing you to shake your head dejectedly with a groan. You shot Harrison a pointed glare when he went back to his seat, still snickering to his heart's content as if his master plan was in the works.

What a little shit.

"I'm definitely not going to let my parents watch this video," you mumbled with a roll of your eyes.

"I've got a question for Tom though," Tuwaine started, though the glimmer in his eyes told you it wasn't a clean one. "Do you grab it or do you smack it?"

Tom wheezed before erupting into a very rowdy laugh, hands slapping on his thigh as his body shook in nothing but pure enjoyment, his face red from a mixture of embarrassment, glee and the alcohol.

"Oh my—right! Next question!" you squeaked, not giving your boyfriend any time to answer as you attempted to swiftly move on.

"Wait, wait," Tom breathed out as he slowly calmed down, getting up from his seat as he went over to your side. "Harry stop recording for a sec," he called out to his younger brother before he gestured for you to turn until your back was facing the camera.

Tom crouched down in front of you, hands on your knees with a sweet, reassuring smile on his lips. "We'll edit out the parts you're not comfortable with to stay in the vid, alright?" he stated softly.

You nodded with a smile of your own, taking his hand in yours as you played with his fingers. "I'm not opposed to keeping the last two questions since everyone has their favourite position and type of porn. It's normal," you hummed, tilting your head at him as you added, "You saying you've helped me with, you know, that was much more private though, 'cause it's our thing."

"I know, I'm sorry, love," Tom apologized, voice soft but coated with sincerity as his hand went up to cup your face lovingly, brown eyes gazing up into yours with just the same emotions. "We're cutting that part out, I promise."

"But you think your fans would take these questions well?" you queried, leaning into his touch in a way that made Tom's heart do flips inside his chest.

He nodded. "Yeah, I think it's fine. The video is going to be age restricted anyway. And besides, we're both adults, so there's nothing wrong with it," he explained. You hummed in agreement, leaning your head on his hand as you closed your eyes with a soft sigh, your skin very warm against his palm. Tom moved closer to give your lips a sweet peck. "Want some water angel?"

"No, I'm good." You smiled, Tom nodding as he mirrored your grin, giving your lips another kiss before he stood back to his full height and then sat back on his seat.

Shooting Harry the go signal to start recording again, Tom chuckled, "Sorry, needed to cool down for a sec after that." He turned towards the camera, tugging at the collar of his hoodie as he blew out his cheeks to get a point across.

You could only roll your eyes at your man, his laugh growing louder at your reaction. Swiftly taking a card from the pile, you continued with the game. "Is this going to be the theme from here on out, lads?" you asked, eyeing the boys behind the camera suspiciously before you turned back to Tom. "Is there something in the bedroom you'd like to try that you haven't told me?"

Tom's cheeks turned even redder at the question, completely shying away now as his hand went to rub at his shoulder. "I can't think of one right now," he muttered as he looked at you sheepishly. "But no, I'm not answering that since we talk about that off camera anyway," Tom settled with a timid chuckle, refilling his glass and taking a drink of the gin soon after.

"Your turn," you giggled, pushing the pile towards him.

"Oh, okay. What a way to shift the topic," Tom breathed out, scanning the card one more time as he sat up straighter. "If I was in a coma how long would you wait for me?" he asked, meeting your gaze with a tender smile.

"I'll keep waiting for you until you wake up, no matter how long," you answered, without even a single inch of doubt, despite the slight shake in your voice as your eyes started to well up. "Never giving up on you."

"Darling," Tom cooed softly with a pout, the screeching sound of his chair echoing around the space as he pushed his seat back. He went back over to your side quickly, remaining on his feet as he leaned down to engulf you in a tight and warm embrace, swaying you side to side in the most comforting way as he whispered sweet nothings against your hair.

You buried your face in his chest with a shaky breath, the material of his hoodie soft against your cheek. You willed your brain not to think much of it, to not dwell on that thought and focus more on the Tom's warmth that's coated you right now. Or else you'll end up a bawling mess, and with the alcohol in your system, it's not a good idea to start crying now.

Your man pulled away gently with a charming smile, cupping your face with both hands as he towered over your seated form. "I'd do the exact same, just so you know," he hummed, brown eyes locked with yours, his thumbs caressing your cheeks fondly before he dipped his head to capture your lips in a loving kiss. You let out a sweet sigh as you melt at the feeling of his soft lips on yours, mind and heart at ease at familiar warmth. The gesture wasn't fully caught on camera though given that you were turned at the opposite direction.

"I love you," you hummed against his lips.

Tom chuckled sweetly, giving you a few more pecks on the lips before pulling away completely, staring right into your eyes as he whispered, "And I love you."

With that he went back to his seat again, flashing you one of his many charming grins before he turned to the group behind the camera.

"You lot are onto something I can tell," Tom said as he raised a brow at the lads who suspiciously grew quiet, looking everywhere in the room but at you two.

Not thinking much of it, you swiftly took another card and read the question. "What would you do if you suddenly get a call that I was gone?" you trailed off at the end of your sentence, brows knitting together as you turned to the group behind the camera. "Guys, this is a cruel question."

"Oh," Tom faltered, smile slowly slipping away from his face as he casted his eyes at his drink.

"Tom, you don't have to answer it," you called out softly, frown deep on your lips as you reached over to take both his hands in yours. But it was already too late when he squeezed your hand tightly, lifting his head back up to meet your gaze and you felt your heart ache. That's when you saw that his mind was already there, brown orbs glossed up as he let out a shaky breath.

"I'd literally shut down," he croaked. "I-I don't know what'd I do if that happens. I just can't imagine my life without you. I—" he stopped, head dropping as his voice broke.

"Oh Tom, come here," you cooed as you immediately got out of your seat and rounded the table, turning him around and away from shot for a bit of privacy. You squatted in between his legs that were spread apart to be much closer to him, gently cupping his face with both your hands so that you were now within eye level. "Hey, look at me," you whispered when you were met by eyes that were screwed shut.

With a deep intake of breath, Tom willed his eyes to open. He looked at you with a small smile playing on his lips, heart steadying at the sight of your beautiful orbs boring into his own. He leaned forward to close the distance between you two, just so he could feel your lips on his. Tom badly needed to. A soft satisfied sigh erupted out your chest as your hand took home on his warm cheek.

"I'm still here bubba. I'm not going anywhere," you hummed against his lips before giving him warm kisses all over his face that made him stifle out a small laugh. You pulled away a little with a loving smile, wiping away the few tears that sat on his skin with your thumb, your touch gentle and warm.

"I love you so much, you know that?" Tom whispered as he looked at you fondly, nudging the tip of his nose with yours in a wholesome manner.

"I love you too, you sweet, soft boy," you giggled, placing a sweet peck on his lips before pulling him in for a hug. You lifted your head up to shoot each of the boys a sharp glare, the three cowering away in their seats as they each said their soft apologies.

Pulling away with a smile, you cupped Tom's face with a hum, "Better?"

"Loads," Tom sighed with a sweet smile, leaning in for one last peck before he lets you go back to your seat. "You purposely put that in there to make me cry didn't you?" Tom spoke, narrowing his eyes at boys who only shrugged in feign innocence. "You lot are evil I tell you."

"Now let's get back on a lighter note!" you exclaimed, pushing the cards towards Tom since it was his turn to ask.

Tom pursed his lips as his brows furrowed at the question. "If you could sleep with any person in the world, who would it be?" he wondered, eyes locking with yours in warning. "Now, careful with your answer, love," he hummed.

"Is that a threat Holland?" you challenged with a raise of your brow.

"I'm just saying, I may already know or will meet this person in the futur—"

"Chris Hemsworth," you blurted, Tom's mouth falling open as he gawked at you in shock. "I'm kidding," you rushed with a hearty laugh.

"Are you though?" Tom doubted, squinting at you suspiciously.

You bit your bottom lip as you held his gaze, Tom letting out a loud gasp when you suddenly took a drink all while maintaining eye contact with him.

"I'm going to have a word with you later missy," he grumbled, voice suddenly an octave deeper, somewhat a soft growl, one that you felt down to your core.

You shifted in your seat with a clear of your throat, shooting him an innocent smile as you said, "To be fair, you did say—publicly may I add—that you'd sleep with Hemsworth too when you did fuck, marry and kill with the three Chrises so, roll the clip!"

Tom shook his head at you with a playful roll of his eyes. "Touché," he sighed, brows furrowed in confusion when you suddenly covered your mouth.

"Oops, I just realized I said the F-word, sorry Harry," you said meekly, a certain smile on your lips which guaranteed that you were now dancing onto drunken territory. Tom knows you like the back of his hand, if the way you were smiling wasn't enough then, the simple look in your eyes would let him know that the alcohol has fully hit you this time.

"It's alright. One bleep word is nothing compared to last week's video. And it's not like this video has been clean anyway," the young twin chuckled.

"So, Fuck Hemsworth, who are you marrying and who are you killing?" Tuwaine asked.

"Marry Evans, Kill Pratt," you answered promptly.

Tom leaned back on his seat as he crossed his arms over his chest, running his tongue over his teeth slowly all while staring you down. "That's a quick answer Y/N," he hummed, shooting you a teasing glare.

"Oh please, yours was quick too, Thomas," you retorted, crossing your arms over your chest as you mirrored him, never backing down from his stare even though it was making you feel certain things.

"Wait, if you're marrying Evans and killing Pratt, and I'm marrying Pratt and killing Evans, does that mean we're set out to kill each other's husband?" Tom started as he leaned forward and towards the table.

"So, if you were successful in killing Evans, and I was successful in killing Pratt, that means we're both widowed," you continued, laying your hands now flat on the marble surface.

"Meaning there's still a chance that we will still end up together. Meant to be if you ask me," Tom concluded, lifting up a hand.

You moved forward to give him a high-five, missing his hand by a lot which made you let out a loud, hearty laugh, Tom following suit with laughs of his own.

"What are you two on?" Harrison said with a crinkle of his nose.

"Alcohol," you and Tom answered at the same time. Both of your mouths turned into the shape of O's as you looked at each other properly delighted.

"Jinx!" both of you exclaimed in unison. "Jinx again!"

"Our mental synchronization; can have but one explanation," you and Tom sang in harmony, never breaking your gaze as you both smiled proudly.

"You—"

"And I—"

"Were—"

"Just—"

"Meant to be!" You two ended with fits of laughter, raising your hands to go for another high five. You missed Tom's hand again which only made you wheeze, tears of joy brimming in yours and his eyes as you tried for the second time, both of you cheering loudly when it finally landed.

"Cringe, really made for each other," Harry gagged teasingly with a grimace to match.

And then Harrison intervened. "How about fuck, marry, kill, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Felton and," he paused, grin turning wider like a Cheshire cat as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. "Tom Holland?"

"That's not part of the game," you protested with a pout.

"Answer the question, darling," Tom encouraged, looking at you expectantly.

"I'm taking a shot," you muttered, going for your drink but before you could even do so, Tom had already taken it far away from your reach. "Hey!" you whined.

Tom chuckled softly as he shook his head no. "You said it's not part of the game so no, you have to answer," he said. "And that's enough alcohol for you, my love," he cooed, tilting his head at you knowingly with a sweet smile. If Tom will let you continue with the drinking then you'll surely be complaining nonstop about the throbbing headache you'll get and the constant nausea after all this.

You sat back on your chair with your bottom lip jutted out, arms crossed over your chest to match, much like a child as you started to think about your answer. Although the process took way longer than you'd expect it to be and the boys were quick to notice.

"Uh oh, she's having a hard time," Harry teased when a few long seconds has gone by and you still haven't given an answer.

"I don't know how I feel about the hesitation here," Tom admitted as he looked at you curiously, brows furrowing with a chuckle when you were still deep in thought after a few seconds more.

"She genuinely is having a hard time," Tuwaine laughed.

"This is so unfair," you grumbled dejectedly as you looked at your man with a sweet, adorable pout, silently asking for help.

"What'd you do with me first to make things easier," Tom offered with a chuckle.

As if there was a hidden message to his words—there wasn't—your face suddenly lit up, slapping your palms on the table excitedly as you sat straighter. "You know what, kill the other two and I'll fuck and marry you," you declared heartily, eyes locked securely with Tom's with the proudest grin playing on your lips.

Tom's heart did somersaults at the mere fact of you wanting to marry him, grin wide and bright as he stared into your orbs, utmost love glowing in yours that was wholesomely mirrored by his brown ones.

It wasn't long until Tom felt his blood rush down though, heat dancing on his skin as his brain got occupied with the thought of you fucking him too. Certain memories flooded his mind, one after the other that it was getting harder for him to stay calm in his seat.

You are honestly giving him a whiplash with how you make him feel one emotion to another in a span of seconds, though Tom wasn't at all complaining.

"That's not how the game works!" Harrison exclaimed.

"I'm pretty happy with that answer," Tom shrugged with a wide, cocky grin, eyes never leaving yours as he raised a brow at you suggestively. You held his gaze with a tilt of your head, bottom lip caught between your teeth to try and stop your smile from growing.

The interaction didn't go unnoticed by Harry though. "Okay, stop eye-fucking each other you horny teenagers," the younger brother complained.

Tom laughed at that, shifting in his seat as he turned towards the camera. "On that note, we're ending the video there. This has been Tom Holland," he paused, giving you a nod as a cue.

"And Mrs. Holland," you blurted at the camera with a smile, eyes widening once you realised the choice of words you've just used. "Oh wait! No! Fuc—I don't mean no as in 'no,' I meant not yet," you fumbled. "We're not even engaged yet! Don't start with the headlines you." You pointed at the camera in warning.

He shook his head with a chuckle, red tinting his cheeks but pure admiration glowed in his eyes. "You own my fucking heart, you know that? You make me melt all the damn time," Tom gushed through gritted teeth, and it was taking a whole lot of his self-control to not jump over the table and just kiss you senseless. You felt your heart grow at his words but you could only bury your face in your hands with a groan of pure embarrassment. "She's drunk, my apologies," Tom added with a laugh as he turned towards the camera.

"Tipsy, there's a difference," you corrected as you shot him a glare.

Tom chuckled, smiling at you widely before turning back to the lens. "Anyway, see you on the next one and peace!" he finished with the sign and then a salute, Harry throwing out an upturned thumb to signal cut.

Once he saw that the camera was off, Tom was out of his seat in record speed, moving over to your now standing form as he swiftly wrapped both his arms around your waist and crashed his lips onto yours with a low groan. His arms tightened around you as he relished the feeling of finally having you so close.

You giggled against the kiss, resting your arms over his shoulders as you leaned back on the table to keep your balance, your bum half-rested on the marble while your foot stayed steady on the floor, legs apart so that Tom can situate himself between them easily.

"So, fuck and marry me huh?" Tom hummed deeply against your mouth, playfully nibbling at your bottom lip before pulling away so he can see your gorgeous face fully.

"Out of all the things I've said, that's what stuck with you?" you giggled with a shake of your head.

"I mean, you fucking me will never fail to sound very hot, reminds me of the few times you did." Tom wriggled his brows at you suggestively, hands giving your waist as teasing squeeze. "Though I don't know which one's hotter, that or you marrying me," he said with the proudest smirk.

"Will you two take this somewhere else?" Harry complained, always the last one to be left in the room given that he's mostly in-charge with taking care of the camera. Harrison and Tuwaine were already gone, continuing whatever they had to do that day.

"Don't think that would make a difference though," Tom chuckled smugly, looking back at you with a knowing grin.

"Which reminds me how we need to sound proof the fucking walls you nasty rabbits."

"I was kidding. We're not that loud fuck off," Tom remarked, rolling his eyes at his brother.

And to prove how wrong Tom's point was, Harrison suddenly started moaning so piercingly right in the next room, his voice a bit muffled but you can still hear him, loud and obnoxious.

"Fuck! Love! Fuck yes! Just like that, darling! Shit baby I'm gonna—"

"Fuck off Harrison you fucking twat!" Tom yelled at the top of his lungs, the blonde lad's boisterous and annoying laugh echoing soon after.

Tom turned crimson red as the embarrassment coated him from head to toe, head dropping for him to hide his face on the crook of your neck with a groan. You let out a soft giggle, hand landing on the back of his head as you ran your fingers through his hair comfortingly. Your face was warm as you were embarrassed just the same, although there was more of a sense of pride on your behalf because yes, Tom does get a bit loud sometimes, all courtesy to you.

It wasn't always of course, both of you aren't evil enough to torture the lads that much. Aside from the fact that Tom is rarely even home—meaning you don't do the deed that much in this house—the two of you had made a pact to make sure that you're completely alone before properly going at it. Admittedly, it does get a bit hard to keep the noise down sometimes, so the boys have to endure it every now and then. They do get back at you guys soon after as they are quick to be little shits with the teasing and dirty jokes, much like now.

"Maybe we do need to soundproof our walls," you teased once your man pulled away to look at you with a soft sigh, hands running up and down your waist sweetly.

"Or we could finally look for our own place to move in?" Tom proposed with a charming smile, your heart melting at the sight and skipping a beat at his words.

Granted, you've been with Tom for a fair three and a half years already, but neither of you had gone to take that step of actually living fully on your own where it's just no one but him and you in your own home. You've been living in this house for roughly the same time—maybe a year or two less—and you've got no problem living with the lads, you consider them as your brothers now. But you won't deny that having a place exclusively for you and Tom only would be pure bliss.

Of course you've talked about getting your own place and neither of you were opposed to it. It all just came down to Tom being constantly busy and barely even home. You'd rather live with the boys for the mean time than sulk all alone in a house while slowly being buried in the emotions of missing your boyfriend.

Tom also wanted to be there for the most of it—choosing and buying furniture, decorating a thing or two, moving, the likes—but with his schedule, it was hard to find the perfect time.

But now he's promised you that he'd slow down for a bit.

He genuinely hasn't done anything but work nonstop. It was just projects upon projects with only so little breaks in between, a month if he's lucky. Tom is one hardworking man, that's one of the many things you love about him, but he sometimes doesn't realize when he's pushing himself too far.

That's when you step in.

You'd encouraged him to take a breather, even if it's just for half a year or so but you never did pester him about it constantly as you weren't one to take him away from doing what he loves. Unless it gets way out of hand, then that's when you'll be putting your foot down. You know he'll do it whenever he's ready to slow down and now with most of his projects wrapped, he's finally decided that it was the right time to take that much needed break.

"I love the sound of that," you giggled, treading your fingers through his hair before tracing it down his chiseled jaw. "Not as much as I love the sound of you moaning though," you hummed teasingly.

"Well then, let's find our own place so you can hear me moan all for you and as loud as you want, darling," Tom purred lowly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as his darkened orbs bored into yours, his hands sliding down to rest on the swell of your bum. He fondled the flesh hotly as he started to lean closer to capture your lips. But before Tom could even do so a loud voice made you both jump away from each other.

"For fuck's sake guys! I'm still fucking here!" Harry yelled, throwing both his hands in the air in downright annoyance and disgust as he screwed his eyes shut. "Go to your fucking room for the love of my sanity!"

You didn't even get a chance to apologise to the young lad as Tom swiftly grabbed your hand and rushed to your shared bedroom.

Nothing happened though apart from a couple minutes of making out, Tom deciding not to take it further given that you were all tipsy and intoxicated. Him deciding since you were persistent on saying you were fine even though you were giggling nonstop, easily tickled no matter how feather-like his kisses were. Not to mention how you could barely even keep your eyes open. So, both of you ended up taking a warm bath and then a nap right after that, instead.

Although the minute you sobered up, Tom made sure you weren't at all quiet this time around. It was due to the pent up tension that's been building since that somewhat steamy Q&A. And maybe, just maybe to get back at the boys a teeny bit for being little shits with both the teasing jokes and the dirty questions.

The two of you went out of your bedroom only at dinner time, stepping foot in the dining area where Harry, Tuwaine and Harrison were all situated. You felt the embarrassment coat every inch of your body when you took sight of the boys, more specifically, their expressions. Tom, on the other hand, had the cockiest smirk playing on his lips as he held his head high, tauntingly chuckling at his mates.

The three lads were sitting around the table with nothing but grimaces and downright disgust on their faces as they all grumbled in unison,

"Rabbits."

-:-:-:-:-

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[ygo-is-gayer-than-i-remember]

Yugioctober Day 11: Fashion

(Prompt list)  (Read it here on Ao3!)

Summary: Shizuka designs Yugi, Atem, and Kaiba’s Met Gala looks.

I was inspired by @kaibacorpstocksplit and their art of Kaiba’s Met Gala look, so I decided to try my hand at writing about the flareship gang and their Gala outfits!  Special thanks to @suyas-archive for helping my fashion-blind ass figure out designs and how colors work kalsfslfjsdlk

When Shizuka entered high school, she picked up the hobby of designing clothes and outfits and found herself to be really good at it.  Of course, she could always be better, and she wanted to be.  Trying to find a mentor was how she learned that Mai was something of a designer herself.  They had become fast friends ever since the first Battle City, so when Mai heard about Shizuka’s new passion, she was more than happy to take the young girl under her wing.  The two had been training together ever since, even entering local competitions and gaining a small following online.

About a month after Shizuka had graduated, Pegasus announced that he would be hosting an event he called the Industrial Illusions Duel Monsters Gala.  To everyone else, it became known as the Duelist’s Ball.  Supposedly, it was to become a yearly event where all the big-name duelists from around the world would gather, mingle, and show off fashion based on their favorite duel monsters, all in the spirit of community and sportsmanship.

Katsuya was thrilled to have been invited to the Duelist’s Ball and immediately sought out Shizuka to make his Red-Eyes-Black-Dragon-themed outfit.  She had already seen the intricacy of some of the pieces others were planning on wearing from the designers she followed, so she was eager to give it a try.  Unfortunately, her brother rejected a lot of her more flashy ideas, wanting instead to be lame and boring with a simple black suit and red satin tailcoat.  She was happy with how it turned out, grateful she got to at least do some flame designs on the coattails and sleeves, but it wasn’t nearly the kind of extravagant look she had been hoping to make.

Apparently, Katsuya had been so thrilled with the suit that he showed it off to all of his friends, and a few days later, Shizuka got a call from Mokuba Kaiba.  She certainly hadn’t been expecting that considering she and Mokuba had never spoken one on one at length before.  He seemed friendly enough, much different from his stoic older brother, and was unsurprised to learn that the older Kaiba, along with Yugi and Atem, had all been invited to the Duelist’s Ball.  (Mokuba had volunteered to hold down the fort while the three of them were away.)  What she was surprised to learn was that the three of them wanted her to design their outfits as well.  She accepted the offer in a heartbeat.

After their initial meeting where ideas were pitched and measurements were taken, Shizuka knew this was exactly the challenge she had been wanting.  Each of their styles was unique, allowing her to really think outside the box and experiment with different designs.  Sometimes she had to nudge them in one direction or the other to make everything come together.  With Kaiba, she wanted him to try going for a little more.  With Atem, she needed him to go for a lot less.  Still, after several hours, she came away with sketches, notes, a Kaiba Corp. credit card, and the number of Kaiba’s personal tailor so she had every resource available to use.

The first thing she did was call Mai.  She knew she would need an extra set of hands already, and Mai had connections to jewelry makers who could help with the requested accessories.  Mai was over before Shizuka could even hang up the phone.

Day and night, the two of them worked on the garments, occasionally calling in one duelist or another to get some clarification or try on certain elements.  Sometimes, in the early stages, they would have to drag Katsuya in by the ear to act as a live mannequin when the rest were in use so they could make generic cuts, pins, or markings.  They had also been very careful not to let anyone but the outfit’s recipient see their completed work, wanting it to be a surprise for everyone.

Now, after months of hard labor, it was finally time to reveal the finished products.

All of their friends had gathered in the little studio she and Mai had rented out (on Kaiba’s dime, thank the gods), sitting on fold-out chairs in front of a makeshift stage and whispering excitedly to one another.  Even the Ishtars were there taking time out of their archaeological work with the museum to come.  Shizuka couldn’t remember ever feeling so many emotions at once.  She felt simultaneously like she wanted to hug everyone in sight and like she was about to throw up.

“Hey, hon, relax.”  She turned to see Mai put a hand on her shoulder and smile.  “We worked our asses off on these things and they turned out amazing.  They’re going to love them, I promise.”

Shizuka let out a sigh.  “Yeah, yeah you’re right.”  She grinned back at her mentor.  “It’s going to be great!”

Mai patted her on the back and pushed her gently forward.  “Knock ‘em dead!”

A hush fell over the crowd as Shizuka stepped up onto the stage.  The lights from overhead were nearly blinding.  She cleared her throat.

“Welcome everyone!  As you know, the Duelist’s Ball is coming up soon and Yugi, Atem, and Kaiba charged me with designing their red carpet looks.  Firstly, I want to thank Mai for her hard work on this project and for being a huge inspiration to me and helping me get to this point.”

Mai took a bow at the round of applause given to her by Shizuka and the audience.

“Tonight, we want to present to you the fruits of our labor!  You all get an exclusive look at the wardrobe of three top duelists before they’re presented formally at the Duelist’s Ball!”

This was met with whoops and more applause, especially from Katsuya.

Raising her voice and moving aside, Shizuka announced, “So, without further ado, may I present: Seto Kaiba as Blue-Eyes White Dragon!”

Kaiba entered from the back and stepped up on stage.

Over the shocked silence, Shizuka heard her brother yell, “Holy shit!”

Kaiba’s suit was divided into two sides, the left side midnight blue and speckled like the night sky, the right side, overlaying the first, a vivid white, tied together by silver buttons and loose, thin chains.  The white side had a single lapel wrapping around behind his neck to make a high collar that showed off its baby blue lining.  The dark side mimicked his usual turtleneck, covering to just below his chin and present on both arms since the white side didn’t have any sleeves of its own.  His left arm had three spikes, the same color as the rest of the fabric, sticking up from his bicep and a black and silver brace covering his forearm.  In contrast, the fabric on his right arm was overlaid with gleaming white steel, strips of blue glowing from between the breaks in each panel.

His pants were made of the same starry material, the boot on his left black and the boot on his right white.  Both had the same neon blue highlights as the metal on his arm with the addition of similar steel plates on his right knee and thigh.  From below the white belt keeping the metal on his leg in place, an open skirt pooled around him, the transparent fabric a sky blue filter over everything it covered.

Mokuba was grinning from ear to ear as he rushed up on stage to get a closer look at his big brother.  He circled around and around, taking in every detail.

“You look incredible, Seto!”

Kaiba gave a triumphant “hmph” and stepped down off the platform with Mokuba trailing behind him.  He had been smiling a little this whole time, something Shizuka took to mean she had done at least a decent job.

She glided back to center stage.  “Give him a hand, folks!”  Applause bounced off the walls of the studio.  “Alright, next up, we have your favorite King of Games!  Give it up for Yugi Muto as Gandora, the Dragon of Destruction!”

Yugi was barely out of the door before people were cheering.

Yugi’s shirt was based on an old European military jacket, wide rows of fabric crossing the center part and held in place by buttons on either side.  The black cloth was hemmed with silver, and the smooth red buttons gleamed like gemstones.  The points of red continued along his sleeves and down the outside of his pant legs until they cut off at his ankle, hanging slightly over his black and white wing-tip dress shoes.

Over all of this, a black satin cloak was draped over his shoulders and flowed down just past his knees with his arms slipped through strategically placed slits.  A geometric pattern of various diamonds and triangles was embroidered in silver thread, the occasional large shape housing another red accent.

Shizuka glanced over at Mokuba.  She had gotten a little extra help from him since this particular outfit had a very special feature.  He gave her a nod, and she passed the nod onto Yugi.

Yugi nodded back at her and pressed a button on the cuff of his right sleeve.  All at once, every piece of red decor lit up.  The audience oohed, ahhed, and clapped as he twirled around to show off all the lights before stepping down and switching places with Shizuka.

“One more round of applause for Yugi!  And a special thank you to Mokuba for helping out with the lights!”  The applause was given, and Shizuka smiled at the way Yugi and Kaiba stood hand in hand, admiring each other’s outfits.  “This last one was probably the most difficult to figure out.  Our model wanted not one, not two, but three monsters incorporated into his look, but we think it turned out to be fit for a king!”  A few chuckles in response.  “So, last, but most definitely not least, please welcome Pharaoh Atem as the three Egyptian Gods!”

Atem, the eternal personification of “too much,” came strutting out of the back like the god-king he was.  Shizuka could swear she heard jaws hit the floor.

Atem’s bare chest was clearly visible through the window of his scarlet shirt, shoulders decorated with swooping lines of gold and collar reaching straight up towards his jaw.  A black leather corset with a golden lily etched on the front hugged his waist, and a loose shawl of thin gold silk rested in the crooks of his elbows.

Below that, a shimmering skirt wrapped around his hips and fell down and back into a train, the same scarlet as his shirt melting into vivid crimson the further it trailed.  The fabric shone in the light and flowed like water under a gold chain overskirt decorated with large red gems and smaller blue gems.  It gave the skirt a kind of scaled appearance reminiscent of Osiris’s draconian form.

Through the long slit in the front of the skirts, his over-the-top thigh-high heeled boots wrestled for everyone’s attention.  The toe, heel, and laces were pure gold, but other than that, every inch of them was bedazzled with reds, blues, blacks, and more golds.  The boots had been a specific request from Atem that Shizuka had to rework several times in order for them to look palatable and cohesive with the rest of the outfit, but somehow, in some way, she had managed to pull it off.

To tie it all together, he wore a golden headdress that crowned his hairline, curled back to his temples, and arched into a pointed halo, resembling sunbeams in front of his multicolored hair.  His natural blonde highlights looked like gold thread behind the intricate designs of the headdress.  Rubies and lapis lazulis sat nestled in the centers of hand-crafted flowers and rings of metallic leaves.

Yugi and Kaiba walked slowly back on stage, taken aback by Atem’s glittering apparel.  Shizuka felt a surge of pride in her chest seeing the three of them all up there together gawking at each other.  She watched them exchange astounded praises, flirtatious remarks, and several kisses while those in attendance eagerly discussed the showcase.  Shizuka couldn’t actually hear what any of them were saying, but the smiles on their faces spoke for themselves.

“Congrats Shizuka!” Katsuya’s grin was the only thing she noticed before she was stumbling from him throwing an arm over her shoulder.  “Ya really knocked it outta the park!”

She beamed back at him when she got her footing.  “Thanks, Katsuya!  We worked really hard and I’m honestly super happy with how they turned out.”

“Yeah, uh, speakin’a which...d’ya think ya could make me one’a those?”

“You should’ve thought of that when you shot down all my ideas!”  Shizuka shoved him away with a laugh and a playful glare.

“How was I s��posed to know it’d turn out like that?!”

“Hey, Shizuka?”

She turned around to see her three models standing behind her, all smiling.  Yugi stepped forward to give her a hug she gladly accepted.

“I know I’ve said it a lot,” he said, “but seriously, thank you.  These are incredible.”

“Thank you for giving me the chance to make them,” she replied.  She stepped back to give Atem a hug, followed by a handshake from Kaiba.  “You guys better tell me what people think when you show up at the Duelist’s Ball.”

Atem bowed his head in a nod.  “Trust me, we will.”

Shizuka watched them turn to go change back into their regular clothes, then glanced at her drafting table in the corner where all the remaining sketches of the designs were pinned haphazardly.  The products of those sketches were going to be broadcast all over the world for everyone to see in just over a week, and when people asked, her friends would say she was responsible.  Her smile grew.  She had a feeling that a lot of doors were about to open for her.

[lastsonlost]

Many of the women promoting the “cancellation” of men in comics, and demanding they post the recent empty promise known as #ComicsPledge, are in fact hypocrites.  In this article, I’m going to present evidence of lies, collusion, rumor spreading, and, in my opinion, defamation and contract interference.

I personally know that they’ve colluded for YEARS to take down men. Specifically those with conservative politics and philosophies. This is an ongoing, coordinated effort. How do I know this?

Because I obtained access to their PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP.

This is Part 1 of the #Hypocralypse leaks

There is simply too much to put in one leak, so I will make the following three points for now.

1. The so-called Comic Book Whisper Network, which has been dismissed as conspiracy since 2016, is real, and I have hundreds of screenshots to prove it.

2. The Whisper Network has been targeting men and trying to destroy their careers, and use their connections in the comic book media to do so.

 3. Whisper Network members have acted unprofessionally and unethically at best. At worst, they have engaged in what I believe could be illegal behavior.

MY STORY

I first heard about the Whisper Network back in mid-2016 from folks I knew at Image, DC, Marvel, and later, Valiant.  Depending on who I chatted with, sometimes the group was called ‘The Women’s Network’, other times ‘The Whisper Network’, occasionally ‘The Whisper Campaign’, and eventually there were more conspiratorial names used mockingly (a friend called them a gender-swapped 4Chan, which became ‘FemChan’ to some insiders).

Regardless of the name, it was all the same group.

The same five or six names kept popping up in conversation over and again. As time ticked on, I noticed a trend on Social Media: half a decade of rumors, false allegations, cancellation attempts , and they almost always traced back to these same five or six people.  The goal of this Whisper Network, according to industry folks, was simple: choose a target, smear them until they lose their reputation, their income, and are ultimately blacklisted – opening up job opportunities for the same people who started these smear campaigns in the first place.

 Behind the scenes these “cancellations” are painted as morally or politically motivated, but in the end it’s all financial. As time passed, the group in question seemed more and more like a reality. I saw their influence. I saw things I knew to be verifiably untrue go viral online, appearing in what I thought were legit news sources. I felt angry and helpless seeing innocent people getting attacked, but did not know what to do. 

A few years passed and by 2018 almost everyone I interacted with in the industry seemed to know about the Network, from top level editors right down to the letterers. It was an open secret, but no one was willing to speak up for fear of being targeted themselves. They knew the consequences.

And after all, this was a secret network. Without proof, there was no point in going public because members would just deny its existence, and use their media connections to smear anyone who challenged them.

 THEN THINGS GOT INTERESTING

December 16, 2018, Whisper Network member Gail Simone, who joined the Network 6 years ago (4 years before the following tweet was posted), mocks “doofuses” who speculate that a “whisper campaign” exists.

At this point in late 2018, I was still skeptical of the Whisper Network’s existence. I’d heard many stories of individuals spreading rumors and lies, and plenty of malicious behavior was going on behind closed doors. Though I wasn’t ready to believe it was a coordinated effort, or collusion was involved.  Then, certain people began openly mentioning the Whisper Network and my attitude changed.

 March 26, 2019, Heather Antos, a member herself, did not outright mention the Whisper Network or her involvement, but she made what some took as a veiled threat to those who got on her bad side.

 Heather “milkshake girl” Antos’ colorful backstory at Marvel, and later at Valiant, is notorious in the comic industry. A conversation about office rumor-spreading and bullying is never complete without someone bringing up a juicy Antos anecdote. Everyone has one.

Up until then, I still hadn’t seen ACTUAL PROOF of a larger scheme. But then, something changed in 2020.

January 8, 2020, Alex de Campi, who I would discover is one of the most active Whisper Network members, openly admits there is a Network. I have no idea if this was a slip or a brazen attempt to show off her power and influence, but this appeared.

Eventually, everything I had heard and read was confirmed beyond any shadow of a doubt after I gained access to their private Facebook group.

I WAS INSIDE THE WHISPER NETWORK!

This is the place where the Whispher Network has been colluding for years. And although their activity is not confined to just this site, from what I can tell, this was where they first met, and started their coordinated campaigns.

Members of the Secret Group called “Comic Book Women”

At present time, there are 440+ members of the secret Facebook group, called COMIC BOOK WOMEN. From what I can tell, a few are regular users, though many of them have never posted.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/comicbookwomen/ 

*unless you are a member, this will not show up in a search

Secret Facebook groups offer the same level of privacy as closed groups, but operate under a cloak of invisibility. No one can search for secret groups or even request to join them. The only way to get in one is to know someone who can invite you. Everything shared in a secret group is visible only to its members.

This secret group includes a list of members whose actions and connections speak for themselves. Members such as:

Zoe Quinn

Gail Simone

Alex de Campi

Heather Antos (aka Heather Marie)

Mags Visaggio (aka Magdalene Francis)

Mairghread Scott

And several key members of the group are women who work in the comics media and can be used to run damage control, including women like Heidi MacDonald of Comics Beat.  They have contacts outside of the secret network as well, with some male allies in both comics and the media.

Just the fact that all of these folks were secretly linked in a private network came as a shock to me, considering their reputations and the accusations that they’ve made. Immediately I began to connect the dots…

They’ve denied for YEARS that they coordinate their actions in private. And yet they always coincidentally appear on Twitter, retweeting and amplifying each other’s accusations, signal boosting one another, and helping them gain traction. And their allies in media – Bleeding Cool and CBR specifically – will turn those same tweets into stories almost instantly & with no fact-checking or verification, sometimes within the hour.

I’m going to start explaining who the key actors are, and, from my perspective, how they coordinate these attacks.

KEY ACTORS

There are too many people to focus on at once, so I will have to break this into several posts, but I will start with one of the clear group leaders IMO.

Alex de Campi is well connected, despite never being part of the Big Two (since, from what I’ve been told management is well aware of her bullying, harassment, rumor-spreading and unethical behavior that goes back years, and depending on who you talk to she’s almost as notorious as Antos or Tess Fowler).  She just wrapped up a graphic novel campaign on Kickstarter with David Bowie’s son, the Hollywood film director Duncan Jones. It grossed over $366K

All the while she makes baseless accusations while demanding transparency from everyone else.

Now, I’ll take you into their private network.

Two years ago, on May 13, 2018, De Campi launched a private campaign to target an independent creator, claiming she was using her connections to have Simon & Schuster cancel their book.

In addition to contacting the publisher, others in the Whisper Network coordinated their efforts to contact media outlets to have the narrative changed, according to the posts in this thread.  Again, in my opinion, this could end up as a defamation or tortious interference case, and has many implications regarding media bias as well.

 

The following month, on June 23, 2018, de Campi posted private text messages between herself and writer Max Bemis in what appeared to be an attempt to damage his career. Despite Bemis being mentally ill (diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2014), de Campi still posted the private messages with malicious intent IMO. According to US and UK law this is an actionable offense: posting private texts without both parties consenting.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Werewolf: The Apocalypse "Kinfolk: Unsung Heroes" Introduction & Ch.1

"I have normal human fears and frailties, despite my faith."

"I’m terrified I won’t be there when they need me, that I won’t be able to give fully of myself to save them when the time comes. And the price of my failure, for them, would be too high."

"It was like nothing else mattered, nothing else could fill my eyes like the sight of him."

"Now, of course, I realize I was in shock at the time clammy skin, disorientation, that sort of thing."

"That night misted over my senses; even now, it seems more like a vivid dream than anything else."

"I had to watch. I couldn’t turn away."

"That night, I saw I had to protect him. He needed me, and it’s just as simple as that."

"Let’s just say what I know has come in handy."

"The best folks give the most of whatever they can."

"Think about it — would you like to go through childbirth every nine months from age 14 to 50?"

"We’re human beings, dammit!"

"I’ll always do anything I can to help, even if I’m royally pissed; I don’t expect thanks or money, either. But it would be nice to get some respect."

"I'm not alone in saying that I hate being patronized."

"Give an inch, they’ll take a mile" is what some of them think about us."

"The rhetoric a lot of them use sounds like the same crap bigots give when trying to “justify” why women and minorities shouldn’t have equal rights."

"Just once, I’d like to feel like an equal, a partner in all this."

"Ever think about how hard things would be without us?"

"I see by your scowl that doesn’t satisfy you."

"Think of it as normal family responsibilities, magnified a thousand times."

"It’s practically medieval!"

"I mean, it looks like such fun to turn into a wolf."

"There are connections like you wouldn’t believe. Completely outside the law, these people can get dirt on the opposition, perform b&e without leaving a trace and provide muscle no other boss can beat. All they ask is some capital, some boltholes and a little legal cover. Sweetest deal in the world!"

"What do I think about it? Imagine what it’d be like for someone to call you and say you’d missed out on a million dollars because you got one wrong number on the lottery ticket."

"Some are too caught up in the things of humans —chasing after money to have what advertisers insist they can’t do without, living their soap-opera lives and not seeing what the world is really all about. I pity them."

"There is sweeter revenge than death."

"I laugh with joy thinking how your heart will burst should you ever have to face him in battle."

"It’s a great honor to be who I am, who we are. But it’s scary, too."

"Families can quarrel, snarl and cut one another to the quick, but in times of trouble, they’ll stick together."

"God, Allah, Gaia, the Great Spirit or whoever gave us this job, so we have to do the best we can with it."

"Blood also fetters our lives in hatred as well as love, I’m afraid to say."

"I’m not saying this is a fact, but if she was abused, it might explain some things."

"I’m sorry, I can’t quite imagine a moment of sensual passion with someone I don’t love, much less hardly know!"

"In other words, it’s the connections that’re vital, not the money or the mileage."

"Many have wealth, but not all; lineage, not money, is most important."

"That’s a heavy price to pay in a harsh world."

"Self-sacrifice is also important."

"Sacrifice comes in terms of emotional costs, too."

"It’d be pretty stupid for me to become a gun-toting mercenary, for example."

"To put a positive spin on all this, I guess I’d say it’s nice to be needed."

"I admit I don’t really understand what it is or when it’ll be, but many’s the Irish tale where a small oversight wreaked terrible disaster."

"So I got online and made a few phone calls and tried to get the “truth” in as many forms as I could."

"The word “family” has come to mean a lot more things than the 1950s concept of mommy, daddy and two perfect children."

"Raising children is no bed of roses, either."

"Kids love to test their parents and see just how far they can push and still get away with it."

"There’s no way this could be easy."

"Some days, I have to bite my tongue, and that does get old."

"I was just too stupid and blind to see it."

"I always felt like I was split, alone, part of something I couldn’t name."

"Listen, you have no idea what it’s like to watch someone you love slowly lose her mind."

"There are some, well, bimbos."

"You know, the ones that like to control CEOs and topple careers."

"Here, try a piece of this chicken gizzard. I get ’em real cheap down at the butcher shop. No one else seems to want these extra parts. I grill ’em with a little barbecue sauce and honey mustard. Delicious! Thanksgiving’s always the best time, though. Then there’s turkey necks for the takin’!"

"Our families are pretty big, and we figure even the most distant cousin or friend of a friend’s part of the group."

"I’m sure you know, working with people all the time, how far thanks and a friendly smile go when you’re dead on your feet. It’s like the sun’s come out on a cloudy day."

"I mean, some of that stuff is long outdated!"

"It’s more a matter of belief and pureness of spirit, if you ask me."

"The Network also has a lot of splinter groups that organize among youth, educators, environmentalists and so on."

"The Network also has a lot of splinter groups that organize among youth, educators, environmentalists and so on."

"We’re steadfast and steady, yet vibrant and alive, warriors, artists, writers, musicians beyond compare."

"I don’t know if we can save them, but we won’t give up."

"To be tested and accepted by the greatest warriors in the world — no greater honor can we ask for."

"Think of us as the tiny little parts that hold a machine together. Maybe it could function without us, but not without a lot of wear and tear on the system. You get my drift."

"If leader seems weak, I test him. He shows strength, I stop."

"They’re the ones who are causing all the problems by rebelling against the people in charge. They need to settle down and just be content with what they’ve got, if you want my opinion."

"Why should I worry? It’s a clear day. Traffic’s light, but walking’s fine. You get to see where you’re going. I’ll hit a little town ’fore dark and trade a song or story for some food and a piece of floor."

"Revolutions are intolerable and inexcusable."

"The aristocracy attained their positions for a reason, for only the most worthy were chosen to lead, after all. If the

lower classes overthrow the aristocrats, anarchy is the sure result. One need only look at history; Can the Russians truly say their lot improved after they murdered the Romanovs?"

"History has always been a beloved subject to me."

"I pity those souls, displaced by fortune, who are ignorant of their heritage. How can one know who he is without knowing where he comes from? A man — or woman — is the sum of all who came before."

"Money is not the issue; many great families lost their fortunes, yet retain their nobility."

"It’s a poor teacher who doesn’t learn from her student; in this way, the knowledge of both increases."

"Dreams, of course, are the pathways of our souls; here rest our secret desires, fears and hopes."

"You doubt me. You don’t speak against me, but I can see your heart is dubious."

"There’s no greater glory than to serve the destiny of the universe."

"The lacerations looked exactly like the work of sharp teeth, deep into his flesh."

"I won’t go s’far as to say there’s undying loyalty, but we do have a lot of respect for each other."

"Were I as capable as my ancestors, I’d kill you now and never spare a second thought."

"No atonement can replace those lost children."

"Thus far, we have been lucky, but it’s just a matter of time before someone we don’t want sneaks in. It’s not that I want to close ranks by any means; I just wish we paid a little closer attention to who came in from the cold."

"Yeah, yeah, I know you think we’re a dime a dozen. I’d like to believe we’re a little more special than most."

"We’ve built too much for a rotten apple to spoil it all."

"I don’t believe this guy; it seems almost too perfect to be true!"

[jasmine-the-fox]

Autism can’t be treated!!!

OK so... When I was 11 there was an attempt to diagnose me with autism... It failed and we left it be until at the age of 18 and in high school, someone believed I had autism so I got tested and was confirmed at the age of 19 with autism spectrum... I looked online and there are no diets, no exercise routine, no food restriction plan and no medication that can cure it... Adding the fact that some parents think there so smart by self-diagnosing there kids with autism... So here another salt fic starring me!!

Jasmine never thought anything strange would happen until the second week after she told the class about her autism, it all started on a Friday when Alya came up to her about the pool party they were having on Saturday, Jas not liking last minute plans of any kind said she wasn’t going... Causing the class to get mad at her and demand answers... So she gave them an answer.

“I’m sorry but your telling me this at the last possible minute, I didn’t know about your pool party until now and I already had plans for tomorrow, plus changing my plans all of a sudden causes me stress because I have autism... If you had asked me weeks ago I would have said yes” she explained as the bell then rang to end the day so everyone could head home for the weekend, Alya was pissed at Jasmine’s explanation and wondered if it had something to do with the three bullies of there class (Chloe, Sabrina and Marinette)

So while Jasmine was with her friends, Chloe, Sabrina, Marinette, Luka, Kagami, Marc, Aurore, Mireille and Felix... The class was at the pool furious at Jas from what Lila says “I used to have autism myself, but for a year and a half I took this medication and was cured of it, to think she would still blame everything on her autism when she could have gotten it treated is horrible!” Alya asked her if she had the medicine but Lila claimed she got them for each month.

So they formed a plan, for now Lila couldn’t get the “medicine” until the week after, but when she does they planned to everyday leave her one with a note making her take it, then at the start and end of each month they will talk to her at the last minute about plans and see if she starts to get better “It’s the best way to get her started when it works, once she agrees to come and is fine we can start going further” Lila claimed making them agree to the plan as they tried to work on who would leave the note and “medicine” on Jasmine’s desk.

Jas didn’t understand on Monday why the class acted so strange all of a sudden, the fact they spoke about her in whispers made her nervous and she wasn’t excited to know what they were planning, even so she focused on her own thing and got to studying and meeting with her friends to talk about what they wanted to do next, she was excited and couldn’t wait to have fun with them once again heck Chloe had planned for the roof of the hotel to be reserved for them to have fun and she couldn’t wait to relax on the roof and in the pool with them.

And then it started.

The next Monday, she got to school and found a note with what looked to be a candy shaped like a pill on her desk, the note was from Rose saying how she hoped this note helped make her day and Jas was so confused that while she did eat the candy she threw the note away, it didn’t make sense to her at all... But she got this everyday, everyday she would go to her seat and someone she wasn’t friends with would leave her a note with a candy of some kind and they would act like when she ate it that it was the best things ever, still she left it all be and focused on her own thing.

Then a couple of weeks later Alya came over again, she talked about this new horror movie that came out and she couldn’t wait for her to join... Once again she refused, claimed it was last minute, she would be stressed, she has an autism and she hates horror movies, class ended and she walked out of class getting ready to head home, Alya was pissed that the “medicine” wasn’t working but Lila explained “The pills take time Alya, remember? It took me a year and a half before I was cured of my autism... Who knows? Maybe it will take less time for Jasmine... Or longer” she explained as they all headed home.

After that the class decided to talk to Jas at the last minute about plans for the weekend twice a month, once at the start and once at the end of the month to see how she was doing... But there were no changes at all, the class still listened to Lila about how the medicine takes time to work and claimed they should start small, but Alya ignored her words and told the class to keep inviting her at the last minute to things and see how it goes in the end, with time Jasmine began to not understand the pills and decided to secretly pocket one to get answers “I brought this back with me” she said while showing the candy in her hand “It’s always there with a note from someone in the class and I don’t know why and what it is” she explained as Felix took it with the promise of getting answers.

A few days later he had the answer “It’s a candy from Italy, I presume Lila must have had them shipped to her and more then likely made the class believe it was something else” he explained as Chloe then took an extra Jas brought to try like the others before spitting it in the trash “It’s not even that good... Why give these to you?” she asked as they all did the same “I don’t know, I also don’t like them but I eat them to be nice, the only thing I know is that they look like medicine” she said making Sabrina wonder if they had some kind of plan connected to these little candies.

Still the candies kept on coming, and since Jas now knew what they were she decided to secretly collected them just in case while Felix order some candies just in case, slowly a year had gone by and she still got these candies and instead Jasmine began to take pictures in secret while editing the picture to say the day the picture was taken just in case before getting rid of everything... The class still spoke to her about last minute things she was invited to and she still refused and repeated the same thing, stress and autism... She was certain Alya and the class were getting pissed at her... But mostly Alya.

Slowly another year was close to it’s end... Alya was her limit as Jas wasn’t getting any better and she was done since Jasmine once again gave the same excuse for the before summer dance “Were making her go! Adrien will pick me and Nino up and then will stop by Jasmine’s place and i’ll grab her! We just need to keep her there” she claimed and everyone agreed and for the first time ever... Lila was scared of being found out for her lies.

She was certain that Alya’s plan would be her downfall.

Jasmine was so excited, today she was dressed to head on a triple date (her with Luka, Mari with Felix and Chloe with Kagami) she was wearing a nice outfit Chloe got her and she was so excited to show off, she had just gotten outside to wait for Mari to join her when a limo stopped right before her and Alya jumped out and grabbed her to get into the limo that then drove, she tried to make her let her go but Nino and Adrien moved to help her, she was shocked in what they were doing as took her to the school gym for the before summer dance, once in Kim and Ivan blocked the doors as the girls rushed over to her with Alya beside her talking about her happy they were she was here.

She tried to get out, but every possible exit were blocked, she could feel a panic attack coming as she quickly went into the bathroom to message her friends on the situation and begging for help because of what the class was doing to her right now, once done Alya came in with a smile “Come on Jas! Dancing will be amazing and Adrien will be happy to finally get to be with you!” she claimed with a smile as Lila looked panicked at what Alya was planning.

Once on the dancefloor, Jasmine was moved around until she got dizzy and just felt like she would faint, then Adrien grabbed her... She really wanted to leave and was trying to find an exit, she could hear the class getting upset with her for not trying, Alya yelling at her to focus on Adrien, her phone filming them, Lila yelling at them to leave her alone and Adrien trying to get her attention... She was at her limit, she couldn’t take much more of this at all, she then her the door slam open.

And then nothing but silence and darkness.

By the time she came to, she was in a hospital, her throat was very dry and she saw her friends in the room, the first thing she did was ask for water, then she asked for the doctor to ask what was her condition... Simple enough she was over stressed and lacking water so she needed to hydrate herself some more before being allowed to leave, once gone she asked her friends what happened after she collapsed.

After she had messaged them, Sabrina called her dad about everything, Chloe told her father, Felix, Kagami and Luka told there mother’s while Marinette called Nadja about needing to leave Manon alone with her parents for a bit, when the gang got there, Luka and Felix worked together to get in, by the time Luka got to her, Jas was on the floor, puke was by her with Adrien and Alya covered a bit in it, Felix moved to check on her and began to quickly yell for an ambulance because Jas was breathing weakly.

Officer Roger demanded answers on who’s idea it was to force an autistic person to be so overly stressed to have a panic attack, once no one answered and the gang got Jasmine out, the mayor asked again “It was Alya’s idea!” everyone turned to Lila “Alya planned this! She said she with Nino and Adrien would grab Jasmine from her home and force here, all exits needed to be blocked so she couldn’t leave was also her idea!” she admitted and with that Alya was cuffed with Nino and Adrien being done the same for they helped her.

The class was all at the police station being questioned after there parents arrive, from what Sabrina found out, the class was blaming Lila for everything while Lila claimed Alya caused Jasmine’s panic attack, three days later, Jasmine was in front of Lila’s building complex, she had to find out why she would make her have Italian candies and what she did “Hello, are you looking for someone?” she turned to find a woman who looked like Lila to her surprise “I’m just here to ask questions to Lila Rossi” she replied making the woman blink and have her follow her inside “I’m her mother actually, I presume it’s about the before summer dance incident?” she asked and Jasmine nodded.

Once inside, Lila comes out of her room to find Jasmine “I’m guessing you want answers” she said making Jasmine nod as the three sit down at a table, Jas pulls out the little bag of candies she collected “What did you make the class think these were?” she first asked making Lila look down while her mother looked at them “I lied about having autism, claimed these candies were pills I took for a year and a half to be cured” she explained as her mother dropped the bag on the floor.

“They had me get one everyday hopping to “fix” me... But it was a lie and because of you I had kidnapped to go to the before summer dance, had a severe panic attack and puked” Jas hissed as Lila’s mother looked to be shaking with anger as Lila nodded, Jasmine demanded that Lila admits everything and her mother agreed so Lila did as told, she went to the school and admitted everything was a lie, then she went to the police station and told them it was her fault that Jasmine had a panic attack.

As a result, the mayor didn’t think Paris was safe so he had her deported back to Italy, after that he had the class be punished for what they caused Jas, of course Alya and Adrien tried to force her to pay for there clothes but Chloe told them how it was there own fault they pushed Jas to have a panic attack in the first place, after that the class got sued for everything they did to Jas and Mari after Lila lied about them... There parents were having them pay back for anything they destroyed, some were forced to work and were punished for there actions while Jas and Mari ended up happy.

When school started again, Adrien tried to get Jas to date him... Only to see her with Luka all happy as they headed to class, when he turned to Mari he saw her with Felix so he turned to get answers from Chloe or Kagami only for them to ignore him and leave him there... He was so pissed about that, but with time students heard about what Caline’s class did to Jas during the before summer dance and they all protected her and her friends and kept the class away from them... Then five years later, Caline’s class either worked in a way there dream job (well not there dream job but something connected to what they love) or they worked something they never wanted to do.

Meanwhile, Jas and her friends had massive success in life, each of them had amazing jobs and had the perfect life that Caline’s class envied.

Goes to show that they should have never thought Jasmine’s autism could be cured.

Do you guys see where I went with this fic? See, I was diagnosed 2 years ago when I was 19 of autism spectrum, I found out many things that I do or did were normal to people with autism... But when I explain this to others they say this “You can’t blame it on your autism” which the thing is... I wasn’t, all I did was explain to people that this is natural to those with autism like me, and here’s the thing everyone, if you self diagnosed your kid with autism... Your wrong and need to have them tested by a professional or it won’t end so well, also there is no diet or type of eating way that will help “weaken” your autism, only a medicine that between the age of 5 and 16 can be taken for a specific thing autistic people do or something therapists can have them do.

But that’s it! So don’t think there’s a vaccine being made or a medicine! Cause there isn’t! So listen to me when I say that your crazy to think that! Autism isn’t caused by a way of eating, a vitamin of any kind, an activity you do, a routine you have or being in the sun!!! It’s genetic!!! Simple as that! GENETIC! And if you think other wise then look it up on our good friend google!!!

[lycanthrop-ee]

Ghosting - Empty House

A/N: !!!!! It’s here! I’m so, so pumped for this- welcome to the Empty House AU! This is the first piece of content I’m publishing and it’s a one-shot from a bigger universe, but it’s also absolutely a stand-alone fic. It’s a self-indulgent, analogical-centric human AU that’s has been floating around my hollow skull for months now, so there’s a lot of doodles backed up if any of yall would like to see that ;) There will be an AU taglist, but I also have an individual writing taglist!

Synopsis: Logan has finally moved out of his childhood home into a family-sized house where he plans to finish college online. His simple plans are complicated when a strange, sad-looking boy starts showing up outside...

Word count: 4,306

Ships: Endgame romantic Analogical

CW: (spoilers) Pre-plot major character death, swearing, anxiety attack, very mildly implied previous parental abuse, be safe kiddos and ask to tag!

The first time Logan saw the boy was the day he moved in. 

The empty house had stood hollowly beside its driveway, Logan feeling small without his siblings or parents or any of his rarely acquired friends by his side. He wasn’t a sociable person, but he’d always been surrounded by noise at home, and lots of it… he’d never been in a house as still as the one he stepped into that day. The dark wooden floors were cleanly swept, except for the corners and trimmings which had little fields of grey dust dotting the deep brown. The refrigerator made a hungry humming noise, protesting its suddenly empty shelves- Logan knew a family of four had lived there before, and that they’d given him a pretty hefty discount on the house. That’s all he knew.

The floor in the entrance hall creaked underfoot, and the walls seemed to turn away as they saw him- not who they’d been expecting, not worth their attention. That was fair. 

The house had three bedrooms and two floors- altogether a strange layout. Two of the bedrooms were downstairs, situated in a small hallway off the kitchen, and one was tucked into a little corner upstairs, where the only other rooms consisted of a bathroom and a large, carpeted playroom that was mostly empty now. Logan figured it would have been a favorite of the kids when they were smaller, but now the only furniture was a faux leather couch and a television, as well as a couple of out-of-place armchairs that had never gotten much human use from the look of their fur-covered seats.

With just him taking up the whole house, he hardly saw the point in using the upstairs bedroom. The house felt big already- rationally, it would be better to localize downstairs. All he really needed was his room, the kitchen, and the little living room next to the entrance. That was enough for him- in fact, even that was too silent. He missed the screams of his brothers as affectionately as anyone could- which honestly varied day to day. 

Today, he was disproportionately affectionate. 

It paired well with the fear.

Logan was just about ready to start tearing himself apart over the family members he’d left behind- the only ones that mattered- when the boy caught his eye.

The day had been gray and dreary, the trees heavy with the prospect of rain and the air cool enough to promise it, but it had only started drizzling in the few minutes since Logan had been inside. The sky had seemed to darken remarkably quickly, especially strange without the presence of thunder or even heavy rain, and in the middle of it all was a lanky figure who looked for all the world like a member of the fae.

He stood at the side of the road, looking in the house’s general direction- in Logan’s general direction, although he was sure the other wouldn’t be able to see through his windows. His face would’ve been hidden by the dark hair poking out from under his hood were he not so painfully pale, and his brown irises were visible to Logan only because of the piercing contrast of his skin. 

His jacket was oversized, but his beanpole frame managed to show through regardless. The rainwater gradually weighed it down until the boy looked almost a skeleton, Logan frozen watching him for what could have been minutes- and then the frame heaved in a breath and ambled stiffly away. 

Obviously Logan’s first worries had to do with an unhinged white male teenager breaking into his new house- the one he had full responsibility for and few precious savings to repair. It was irrational, he knew, but his second thought was that the boy hadn’t looked capable of any harm- or really of much at all. He looked weighed down, depressed, and Logan was sure that it wasn’t just the water soaking his sweatshirt. The boy had looked sad. 

And he continued to. Frighteningly often, the teenager appeared outside Logan’s house. Each time he looked quite the same: above average height but considerably shorter than Logan himself, skinny, and almost other-worldly in his strange mish-mash of dark eyes and pearly flesh. While Logan knew that his first sight of the boy had been strange in the sudden change of weather, he could- and completely intended to- count it as a coincidence of Florida’s strange climate.  

He settled into a sort of pattern, although the boy didn’t seem to follow one. Each time he saw the figure outside his house, he would take a break from his endless work. He’d make himself some tea, sit in the window, and wait for the boy to leave. This way, he told himself, if he tried anything, Logan would be there to intercept him. He chose not to think about the possibility of it happening at night or while he was away, and he kept far away from the crime shows he’d occasionally enjoyed in the past. This way, too, he could get a good look at his visitor each time. It was almost as though he was keeping tabs on him, and at the tail end of his fear came a strange protectiveness. 

It was after about a month of this- Logan looking for job applications and living off of his savings, edgewise- that Logan pulled into his driveway at one of the key moments of his life. The boy stood unsteadily at the side of the road, sweatshirt ever-present even in the heat. Logan got out of his car carefully, his heart in his throat- though, really, did any part of him think the boy capable of much at this point? 

He’d have expected the kid to run as soon as he’d pulled in, but when Logan looked him over he saw the boy studying him, bouncing on the balls of his feet. It struck Logan anew in their close proximity how thin he was.

Almost thoughtlessly, he started across the lawn towards the boy. He had to remind himself to uphold formalities- no matter how many times they’d stared at each other across the way, they’d never once spoken. He didn’t know this kid, not really- and now it occurred to him that the boy was more than a kid. He couldn’t be much younger than himself. Logan halted a few respectful steps from the boy, who eyed him strangely.

Close up… he looked, somehow, the same as he did from across the lawn. His features were simple, small mouth and nose easy to overlook for his huge, shadowed eyes. He really did remind one of a fairytale, or even- perhaps more accurately- a Tim Burton. 

Logan opened his mouth to speak, but paused for a moment. They watched each other.

“Would you like to come in for tea?” He finally inquired, the words escaping him overly familiar. The boy raised his eyebrows almost undetectably, seeming confused, and Logan caught himself almost leaning forward in anticipation of the other’s first words to him.

“You’re not Patton,” the boy said, voice just above a murmur and hoarse. Logan hesitated, confused, and studied the expression that would’ve been bored were it not for the slight tremble in his lips and a hint of surprise- Logan supposed neither of them had planned what had escaped their mouths. He reached up with a thin arm and brushed the back of his hand gently across his eyes. A spark of something strange flickered in Logan’s chest- this man was possibly not all there. He wracked his brain for labels- depression? Mild psychosis? Dissociation?

Either way, this was not someone he should invite into his house without more information- but as that regretfully occurred to him, the first drops of afternoon rain hit the tip of his noise. He wondered if the boy would stand out here after Logan went outside, and if so, for how long. 

“No, I’m not,” he found himself saying. “My name is Logan. It is raining- would you like to come in?”

He was exceedingly aware of the boy’s breathing as they stepped out of the rain, something that would normally drive him insane- somehow he didn’t mind this time. His presence was almost calming after weeks of bringing a break from Logan’s ceaseless work. It assured him that the ghostly pale man was real, which was never a problem he thought he’d be debating... but here was this skeleton-thin, strange-mannered man entering his house as though he’d been there a million times before.

He carefully slid his shoes off, paying close attention to the floor- and no attention to Logan. 

“I’ll make tea,” the latter found himself mumbling. “Do you want to come into the kitchen?”

“I’m gonna go upstairs,” the boy said. Logan blinked.

“I- you… this is my house?” He stuttered, trying to be assertive- surely that crossed a line? He’d never seen this kid before a month ago- but there he went, lugging himself up the stairs like he belonged there. O-kay. 

Logan backed into the drafty kitchen to put the kettle on.

Time to listen to his voice of reason, he decided. Clearly this boy had been in the house before- hopefully before Logan had moved in- and knew his way around. And clearly his mental state had some connection to the house- whether positive or negative, Logan couldn’t yet tell. So, he concluded, it’s possible that he had lived here before. The married couple that had sold him the house had mentioned a son, but they’d been moving out of town- how would the boy have made his way back almost daily? There was a bus line in the area... but who was Patton, and why had his absence been unexpected?

There was clearly missing information here, and thus the situation was theoretically dangerous. The logical thing to do would be to contact the authorities for more information- maybe the boy was a local that they were familiar with. If that were the case, they would know how to handle him. 

On the other hand… it was, put simply, a puzzle. Wasn’t it? Logan was smart; he was in online college and he was passing quite well. He had an A in psych so far. He just needed a few more minutes with the boy and he’d figure it out. He could help him... why else would he show up outside his house? 

He needed Logan.

There goes rational thought, Logan sighed as the kettle started to whistle, turning off the stovetop and moving the pot to the side. Something made him turn around- the boy was watching him from the doorway, looking almost more upset than usual. His wide eyes were watery, and as Logan hesitated he wiped an arm across his face again, expression turning to frustration. He avoided Logan’s gaze. “You said you were making tea?” He said, carefully controlled voice just above a whisper. Logan was startled out of his stupor by the boy’s coherence.

“I, um- yes! Yes, would you- what kind?”

“Earl grey? No sugar, just a bit of milk...” he carefully pulled a chair from the small table, slumping into it and reaching to fidget with the salt shaker. “Please.”

The boy’s words stirred Logan into movement and he grabbed two mugs out of the mostly barren cabinet before pulling a pre-packaged tea bag from the tea box on the counter. He unwrapped the tea and dropped one bag in each mug, pouring steaming water from the kettle into them with a satisfying noise. The warm humidity and pleasant smell caressed Logan’s face, and he took a moment to bask in it before returning to the present moment- if begrudgingly. As he set the empty kettle aside, the room quieted, the only sound the rain drizzling over the side of the roof. Logan crossed the space self-consciously to close the window. The boy’s eyes were pointedly focused on the table in front of him- Logan thought he felt more awkward this way than if the boy had been staring at him flat-out. Either way, he could feel his awareness of Logan like a thick fog. He snuck another look at the boy as he hovered beside a chair, unsure whether to sit opposite him. 

“My name is Logan,” he prompted, thoughts stumbling over each other to curse him for the repetition. 

“Thank you for the tea, Logan.”

...Well, at least that was something. His name sounded strange in the other boy’s hoarse, delicate voice- less mundane, somehow. He stood at the head of a table for one more moment that seemed to stretch out an eternity- the boy carefully spun the salt shaker around in his nimble fingers, swearing softly as some of the seasoning fell onto the table. Logan’s startled eyes studied the other’s flushed face.

And then his head caught up to him, and he shuttered into motion, rushing to the mostly empty fridge for milk and fetching the small bag of sugar he’d mercifully bought a few days before. 

“I... I’ve seen you around,” Logan’s mouth betrayed him again. That was creepy- although, looking at it objectively, it was much less creepy than being ‘around’ the way the boy had. The table behind was quiet for too long as he poured the milk. 

“...When’d you move in?” The voice was quiet and held a fragility that Logan hadn’t yet heard from the other. He was relieved to finally have an easy answer to one of the many questions he faced. And, indeed, his mouth finally obeyed him, even and direct.

“About a month ago.” He turned to face the table, the boy’s tea held stiffly between his hands. 

“Sorry,” he whispered as Logan set down the tea. “I knew someone’d moved in, but I guess… it was you.” The boy let out a hollow laugh, and Logan was swept with protectiveness once more.

“Don’t worry, I won’t alert the authorities.” Because that was the most comforting thing he could think of- he’d never been very tactful with delicate emotional situations. Predictably, the boy tensed. Logan decided it’d be advisable for him to move on. “What is your name, pray tell?”

Pray tell. Pray fucking tell? What was wrong with him? The boy cut him off before he could overthink the foot he’d just shoved in his mouth with the eloquence of an 1800s era schoolboy. 

“Patton.” A moment passed before a look of horror came over his face. “Or- no, I- it’s- Virgil! Virgil.”

Now- once again, logically- forgetting one's name was not a good sign. Of general coherence nor moral innocence. Logan knew this. 

Still, the boy looked uniquely upset by the mistake. 

Logan fetched his tea and sat down opposite him.

The other boy fidgeted incessantly, and Logan felt it fell on him to make Virgil more comfortable. He threw tact to the wind- it was tiresome anyway- in favor of distracting the other and himself from the strange fumble.

“Are you a local?”

He got a nod in response, Virgil holding the tea tightly between his hands. Logan couldn’t help but feel he’d made yet another mistake- obviously the boy wasn’t comfortable talking about himself, but was it worth Logan filling the silence with unprompted facts about himself? Would that bore Virgil? Was that rude? He let the gap in conversation rest for a moment before deciding he didn’t much care what was rude.

“This is my second year enrolled in online college- I skipped my senior year.”

The stupid non-sequitor sat in the middle of the table, sinking like a rock. Virgil managed to give him an incredulous look, even in the depths of... whatever it was that was affecting him. Logan panicked. 

Here are a few things about Logan Croft that were usually a given:

                  1. He often said things without regard to the effect they would have on others. 

                  2. He did not say things he didn’t believe to be true.

                  3. He did not readily employ personal information.

All of these rules had apparently been thrown out the window the second Virgil walked in his door. As soon as he realized this, he worked to reclaim them. “Virgil.”

The wind immediately blew out of his sails, and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Speaking abrasively had never been difficult for him, and this was not the time to adopt a new weakness. “I need to know who you are. You have shown up outside of my house for the past month, and while the reasoning behind this is presumably personal and not necessarily critical for me to know, I will at least need you to tell me your full name. Against my better judgement, I will not contact the authorities about your incessant invasion of my privacy, because I don’t altogether mind it- but if you are to have regular access to my house, we can’t continue this one-sided conversation.” Regular access to his house? When had Logan considered that option? As soon as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer- the feeling of someone appearing in the doorway, seeking Logan’s company… it was something that he’d missed sorely. It was something he needed.

The boy looked startled and altogether terrified by the long stream of words. Logan, still working hard to recover his sense and new to the inclination of softening his words on the behalf of strangers, disregarded this as best he could as he waited for an answer. 

It didn’t look like he was going to get one.

Virgil opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, putting the salt shaker down on it’s side like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Logan felt a tug in his stomach to right it, afraid he’d get more salt on his table, but now didn’t seem like the time. 

As the moment stretched forward, his attention was grabbed away anyways, trying to decipher Virgil’s expression. It didn’t look good. 

In fact, it made his heart drop.

The boy looked withdrawn, fearful- like a bird with an injured wing or a snared fox. Damn it, damn it, damn it- Logan’s split-second adopted mantra was less than helpful, but it showed no signs of tapering off to make room for useful thoughts. Virgil’s eyes squeezed shut, and the instincts left over from Logan’s career as an older brother took over. 

He rushed to Virgil’s side on blind autopilot, laying a warm hand over his bony back. The boy jumped at the unexpected touch- and then leaned into it, a choked sob tearing itself from his throat. Oh no. Oh god. Damn it. 

Logan didn’t consider himself good with emotions. He did his best to comfort his younger brothers- god knows they needed it- but strangers were a whole new situation and honestly he didn’t feel much better about this than he expected the boy did.

Nevertheless. 

“Hey, I-” he took a knee to lower himself to Virgil’s level, steadying himself against the table awkwardly. “Um-”

He choked on what to say, but his mind latched to the one thing he knew. Virgil had responded positively to touch- and with little further thought, Logan bundled the shivering boy into his arms.

Logan would’ve immediately taken back the show of affection by any means necessary if Virgil hadn’t melted into the touch so readily- Logan was reminded of an oversized cat. 

That being said, Logan was holding a sobbing stranger in his arms in his new house, alone. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Logan had always been the kid at family gatherings who did everything in his power to ward off physical contact from his overbearing relatives. Although this situation was completely different and altogether impossible to plan for and avoid, he found himself reacting in somewhat of the same way- each place that Virgil’s thin, trembling body touched his screamed at him to recoil.

He did not.

He brought to mind his brothers- not that they’d ever been particularly physically affectionate with him. They’d always turned to each other, and he’d been left to himself. Understandably. But he imagined if they had seeked his reassurance, if they’d ever been as upset as this stranger was now. If they’d let him in. 

But now someone was leaning on him for comfort, and he was determined to provide for them. Imagine if Remus had come to him for help, he kept thinking. Imagine if it were Roman. 

And all of a sudden he had to hold back tears himself. He tensed, carefully leaning Virgill back onto his chair- Logan’s chair. Sensing the other’s discomfort, the boy came back to himself like a fire blazing across dry wood. 

“Fuck- fuck, I-I’m-” the boy was off at a rushed stutter, scrambling to right himself and wiping his eyes angrily. Logan shook his head, patting Virgil’s shoulder awkwardly. 

“Drink your tea,” Logan said stiffly. “It’s okay. I don’t- do you need something?” Good job, he thought sarcastically. Just pretend it never happened. Show him that, apologies, you seem to have made him think you’re an emotional resource. He was wrong, you’re actually a sociopath. Once again, sorry for any inconvenience. 

Logan’s thoughts stuttered and shouted as he tried to fix whatever he’d done. Virgil was quite obviously shaking, almost unable to hold his tea to his lips although he did make an effort, and Logan resorted back to psych class- maybe not a panic attack, but certainly an emotional breakdown and possibly an anxiety attack. “Do you have a history of generalized anxiety disorder?” Logan asked automatically, the place where he should have held a capacity for compassion currently void for whatever stupid reason. “Or even a suspected case?” The thunderstorm in his mind froze entirely as Virgil’s watery brown eyes focused on him. 

“...I guess,” he rasped quietly, eyes flickering back to his hands as they picked at each other violently. “I dunno.”

Logan let out a long breath, sliding furtively into the chair opposite Virgil. 

“If you’re having an anxiety attack, it could be caused by a persistent disorder or a recent traumatic event- although recent is a problematically inspecific measurement-” 

“Uh, then I- I dunno. Still. I guess…” He shrugged, looking away. “How recent is recently?”

Logan tried to hold back a sigh of relief at the comparatively simple question.

“Generally, anxiety attacks are caused by a buildup of unfinished tasks or other irritants, although there’s often an overarching problem or incident. A traumatic event can cause emotional turmoil for years after it occurs- or for the remainder of one’s life, depending on it’s nature- but in most to all cases, the effects lessen as time goes on.” Virgil nodded slowly. 

“And- and what are the symptoms? Of an anxiety attack?” He pulled his legs up to his chest, presumably placating the urge to make himself smaller. Logan rattled off the characteristics quickly.

“Shaking, a feeling of unease, impulsive thoughts, nausea, panic, the sensation of being trapped or cornered, restlessness, hyperventilation, trouble concentrating, dyspnea- shortness of breath, that is- am I making sense?” He wrapped his hands around the cooling cup of tea in front of him, feeling the need to steady himself. Virgil nodded again- it was apparent he was a man of few words. That worked out wonderfully, Logan thought, as he himself seemed so bent on talking as much as humanly possible. 

“Yeah,” Virgil muttered- then stood up abruptly. “Um- I should probably go. Sorry for… yeah.” Logan, decidedly more alarmed at the idea than he should’ve been, got to his feet as well.

“No- I mean, you don’t… have to. If you’d rather- but if you feel the need to go- I mean, I don’t want you to…” Logan paused, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to get his damn mouth under the control of his brain. Had he said something wrong? Well, obviously he’d said many things wrong in the past minutes, but… he thought over the conversation. He’d only been saying the facts- just what he knew. Was there something he should have kept to himself? Was any of it too personal? It was just facts, statistics, symptoms- he cursed himself mentally, although he couldn’t tell precisely what for.

While he’d been deliberating- not panicking, never panicking- Virgil had frozen in place. Right. The whole blazing trainwreck of words he’d let out for no apparent reason. Where the hell had that even come from? He’d known this kid for a month- five minutes face-to-face- and he was already being weird and nonsensical. It took considerable effort to bring the circumstances of their meeting to mind and even the playing field in his subconscious. If they were both creepy, did it even out? “I-I meant... you’re welcome here.” 

Logan could see the gears turning in Virgil’s head as he fell back into his chair. A weight slid off of his shoulders as the air between them settled- they were even. Or something. 

As much as he expected to regret his words, he was surprised at the lack of protest from his thoughts. It was, for once, blessedly quiet both inside his head and out. Logan sat back down warily. “You obviously have some- some connection to this house.” Like some sort of undead apparition, he thought- but he had the sense to keep that, at least, inside. “I can’t tell if it has a positive or negative effect on your mental state as I seem to be an uncalled for variable in your visit. I’m no psychological authority... I know you’ll come back either way, and I don’t like imagining you back out in the rain.” A shiver went through the boy like a roll of thunder, and he nodded. 

“When can I come here again?”