[Trigun OC]
Team "would rather die than admit something's bothering them"
So for the first good chunk of their relationship, Bad Luck and Vash were more "fucking" than "dating". Bad Luck was really apprehensive about romantic entanglements, and had been taken advantage of by a friend, in the past. (While not THE reason he was kicked out of his community, it was definitely related.)
However, Vash-- aware of Luck's hesitance but not of the reasons why-- already had a little bit of a crush on him. So when Luck stupidly offered a FWB situation, Vash accepted, thinking he could be chill about it. He quickly realized, no, he could NOT be chill about it, and spent the next few months relentlessly pining and feeling guilty and wanting to broach the subject, but never saying anything.
Eventually, Vash's crush gets revealed, and by that point Bad Luck has kinda fallen in love with him and they get together and Bad Luck insists that it's all fine, water under the bridge. Truthfully, though, he feels a little betrayed, and has this sense of "why the fuck would you think that's a good idea" towards Vash, hanging over his head. But he also thinks he has no place feeling this way because he never told Vash why he was so hesitant (and still hasn't), and also he does love Vash now anyway, so there's really no point bringing this up now and messing with the status quo, right?
And that's just the beginning of their relationship. There's a whole bunch of other plot-related problems they never talk about until after things boil over. Eventually, they'll get their acts together and talk through everything, I promise. Eventually. It just, might take until after the plot's fully resolved for them to get there.
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Criston was never raped and comparing that to Alicent, who very clearly was, is absurd. If anything, Criston was the one who took advantage of Rhaenyra. She was a drunk/tipsy underage girl who clearly just had something upsetting happen to her. Criston is not only bigger, stronger, and carries a weapon, there is nothing Rhaenyra would've have done if Criston walked out that door and closed it .
Rhaenyra would have been the one who's reputation would have been ruined and seen as impure and damaged. Criston was obsessed with Rhaenyra and when got rejected, he killed someone and then tried to kill himself. Criston is beholden to the king not rhaenyra. There are many instances where criston choses his own desires over his duty e.g when he bullies Jace and Luke, when he wanted to run away with rhaenyra, when he killed beesbury.
Rhaenyra grew up in an environment where besides the portraits on the wall and the brothel daemon took her too, knew nothing about sex. Criston is the one who climbed on top of rhaenyra first. In one part of scene criston is smiling and holding rhaenyra hand tightly.
There is nothing to suggest that rhaenyra would have gone to her father or that she would have roasted him with her dragon. And there is nothing that suggests that criston is even thinking along those line.
The directors of the show clearly stated that there was no rape.
Alicent was raped.
cw for discussions of sexual assault, since nonnie refused to put any
i'm not going to address every single thing in this ask, but it did bring to mind a few points that i'd like to make.
first, we do actually have a scene in canon that explicitly lets us know that criston feels an obligation to rhaenyra. in episode 3, rhaenyra is confiding to criston about feeling powerless compared to her father. criston's response is to directly point out the immense power imbalance between himself and rhaenyra to give her perspective that she is insanely priveleged. criston explicitly reminds rhaenyra that she was the one who hired him and that he owes his entire life, career, and social status to rhaenyra:
i also think that the behavior criston pointed to is very easily explainable as criston feeling taken advantage of sexually. he murders joffrey because joffrey hints to knowing his secret, and then attempts suicide because he thinks he has ruined his entire life, which shows just how much fear criston carries about his secret getting out. this reminds us of the fear and pressure criston has been living with since the sexual encounter with rhaenyra. remember, if he's this terrified and desperate about his secret getting out, rhaenyra, aka the holder of the secret, does still have immense power over him: the power to ruin his life.
additionally, one of the major themes of house of the dragon is that viserys does favor rhaenyra above pretty much anyone else. he's willing to fire otto and cover up her brothel scandal, he's willing to name her heir, he's willing to defend her against the bastard rumors at court and also within his own family, he calls her his only child, he devotes his dying breaths and energy to defending her. if viserys was choosing between believing rhaenyra, his literal favorite person in the world aside from himself, and a random, lowborn, dornish dude he doesn't know? he'd choose rhaenyra, hands down. he's already chosen her over otto, alicent, and the rest of his children. he'd choose her over criston, no question. it's wild to think that he wouldn't, or that criston wouldn't be fully aware of this.
let's also remember that rhaenyra is the one who initiates sex with criston. she steals criston's helmet in order to trick him into entering her room, and then holds it out to trick him into getting closer to her. once he's close, trying to get his helmet, she leans in and takes him by surprise to kiss him. when she starts to undress herself, criston frowns, holds out a hand to physically stop her, and tells her to stop:
after that, rhaenyra moves his hand away from where he was trying to stop her. then she starts to undress criston while he just stands there, staring at the ground. she puts her hand on his chin to force him to look at her, and then initiates another kiss while he stands there. only then does he start to respond, again after several initiation attempts by rhaenyra and two attempts by criston to dissuade her. nonnie, i suggest you look up the psychological phenomenon of the "fawn" response, where someone freezes up when confronted with a potential threat and then complies out of fear of punishment. as someone who's experienced that response while being intimidated, i promise that it doesn't mean i actually wanted that person to do those things to me. just because someone doesn't resist doesn't mean they consent. just because someone goes along with something, under duress, doesn't mean they consent.
i really want to push back hard against your argument that someone being a man can be used as evidence that they weren't taken advantage of sexually, or that criston had to have consented because he didn't turn around and leave. in fact, criston being a man explains why so much of the fandom, and people involved in the show, dismiss the scene for what it is. i also think that you just don't understand the social structure of westerosi society, which is understandable since we don't live in a feudal monarchy. rhaenyra is a girl, yes, and she is young. but she is the daughter and the favorite of the single most powerful man on the entire continent; she is as privileged as a woman can possibly get in westeros. if you think her privilege as the future queen is less significant than criston's privilege as a man, you're just fundamentally misunderstanding what it means to be the future queen, or to be a monarch at all.
the sexualization of men and the dismissal of male victims of sa is genuinely tragic. a lot of times, if the perpetrator is female and attractive, it is assumed that men are consenting to sex no matter what. i have had conversations with multiple close male friends where they disclosed a previous sexual experience, kind of joking or bragging, only for me to stare at them in horror and go "oh my god that was so not okay." one example of this was a friend who bragged about having sex with his 18-year-old babysitter aged 14. another was a friend who told me about his high school coach (mid 20s) initiating a relationship with him in his junior year (age 17). both of these boys told me these stories years later, laughing and joking about it, and it wasn't until we had some serious conversations about grooming and that yes, it can happen to boys, that they both realized those experiences were instances of sexual assault. the first friend confided that he never felt good about it, but when he told his friends they told him how lucky he was to "bag such a hot bitch," so he convinced himself it was a good thing because he'd been told it was. these experiences didn't magically turn into sexual assault the moment my friends had this realization; these experiences counted as sexual assault the entire time, even before they realized they'd been assaulted.
(this happens to women too, btw; it took me two years to realize i'd been deliberately isolated, plied with alcohol until i couldn't even sit upright, and assaulted by a frat boy in my freshman year of college. it was still sexual assault, even before i realized that it counted as sexual assault. even when i was too excited at the idea of being found attractive by a cute older boy to realize how predatory his behavior was, because i'd been conditioned to measure my worth based on my desirability to men.)
anyways, i will repeat my tags from the post that made nonnie angry: if someone has the power to sentence you to death, to get you castrated and banished (the canonical punishment for the last kingsguard member to have sex), to ruin your life when in your own words you owe your entire life to that someone... you cannot say no. even if you say yes, even if you don't think it's a big deal, the fact is that saying no was not an option to you. if saying no isn't an option, then you can't consent; consent is freely and enthusiastically given.
nonnie, i hope that this clarified some things for you and i hope that you're able to apply these concepts to real life even if you can't apply them to a tv show. i hope that you're able to avoid being taken advantage of, or taking advantage of others, because of power imbalances like being someone's employee or relying on someone for housing or survival. i hope that you're able to tell the difference between someone participating in sex out of fear or coercion and someone participating in sex because they've genuinely consented. based on your ask... not gonna lie, i'm a bit nervous.
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