#i never really thought anything about where his soul went during that time like i didn’t think he’d be any sort of conscious

[bravevolunteer]

thinking about michael between pizza sim and security breach having a conversation with old man consequences…

[thehighladywrites]

— “You were flirting with me?”

pairing: Azriel x fem!reader

summary: You leave Azriel mid-makeout to debrief with your girls

warnings: suggestiveness, the ic being nosey, miscommunication, rhys and cassian knowingly riling az up, the girls get drunk and interrogate reader, the boys get drunk and interrogate az,

amara’s note: this might be the funniest thing i’ve ever written. also sorry for my absence i’m posting more soon💗💗

You’ve had a massive crush on Azriel since the day you met him. He didn’t really notice you and was somewhat nice to you.

Really, you had no idea how you started crushing on him, I mean he paid you no special attention or anything. Maybe it was because he was quiet, handsome, tall, dark, mysterious and only spoke when it was necessary. He also cracked jokes and flashed grins that made your heart flutter. The Mother knows how much it grated your nerves whenever a male tried to hit or talk to you when you clearly had no desire to.

Azriel was the complete opposite and you started worrying that you were the one who grated on his nerves everytime you tried speaking to him.

“Hi Azriel, how are you doing?” you noticed him sitting at the dining table, collected yourself and asked him.

“Good,” he said staring straight into your soul before he realized his answer wasn’t really socially appropriate so asked you, “How are you?”

You just smiled awkwardly and nodded, “I’m fine, thanks.”

And that was how 90% of your conversations went. There was no further comments or extra questions and fuck if it wasn’t awkward. You really wanted to get to know him but you also knew how impossible it was since even the people he had been friends with for half a millennium often considered him a mystery.

Sensing the weird energy in the room, you just swiftly said goodbye, not bothering to stay to hear his goodbye.

He wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to do something, perhaps eat brunch at the restaurant you talked about to Cassian but you were moving before he had the chance. Azriel got extremely annoyed with himself, wondering why the hell he couldn’t ask you out like a normal person.

With determination, he promised himself to try the next time.

—

The girls all knew about your very obvious crush on Azriel and encouraged you to approach him often. They were all mated and happy and you wish it was you, you that had a mate, you who got loved and kissed and hugged and fucked.

But you just had to be obsessed with a man that paid you no attention… Maybe that’s why you wanted him, you viewed him as a challenge, and you loved challenges. Despite wanting his attention and wanting to get to know him, you still had self-respect and didn’t act like a pathetic, desperate, love-sick puppy infront of him.

So you went from always greeting him and smiling at him, trying to initiate conversations to flat out ignoring him. I mean, he never talked to you first so maybe it was time to accept it and just admire him from afar.

—

Azriel began to sense a dullness in his days, a void he couldn't really pinpoint. He realized he hadn’t talked to you, or rather, you hadn't talked to him while he played it cool, trying not to make his beating heart obvious. He noticed the absence of your chatter, questions and lovely voice, realizing that his days grew more mundane and boring without someone asking about his shadows, what his plans were, where he got Truth-Teller.

Azriel observed during dinner that you didn't glance at him once; your attention was solely on the girls or his brothers. You chose to stand up, walk across the dining room and grab the bowl of potatoes beside him instead of asking him for it, and it really irked him. Was he not worthy of passing a simple bowl of fucking potatoes?

He wondered if he had done something to make you avoid talking to him. Despite not being the most talkative person, he paid very close attention to everything you said, even if it seemed unnoticed. Azriel loved your presence and he thought he made his interest in you very clear when he looked at you.

Cassian had said girls like eye contact, still everytime he stared into your soul, you only looked weirded out. Was he doing it wrong? Maybe he wasn’t keeping eye contact long enough.

He had grown extremely fond of your talking and felt empty without it. Finding you alone in the kitchen while you prepared a quick breakfast, Azriel decided it was time to talk. The others had already headed to the training grounds as you had slept in. You were cooking your breakfast, not noticing Azriel.

“Hey.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, frozen in place as you slowly looked up at him. Was he really talking to you? But why?

“Yeah?”

He stayed quiet for a bit, just staring at you in that weird way he always did. Even though he wasn't sure if you liked him back and was afraid of rejection, he still wanted to talk to you.

“How have you been?”

You fight the urge to furrow your brows in confusion. Since when the hell did Azriel care? You were truly baffled and tried to act normal.

“Uh, I’ve been good, you?”

Azriel didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all.

Usually, you'd spontaneously share every detail of your morning routine, even without him asking. He fucking loved to listen as you talked about your broken hairbrush, the struggle of choosing clothes, the snug fit of your leathers due to gained muscles, and the morning hassle with your hair, prompting you to wake up 20 minutes earlier than usual.

“I’m okay. Have you done anything else today? How is your hairbrush?”

A stupid question really, but Azriel didn’t care. He wanted to see that familiar spark in your eyes as you talked about anything and everything. No way would he ever forgive himself if he ruined something between you.

Your face heated at the fact that he remembered such a minuscule detail about something you said weeks ago.

”Oh, the hairbrush? It broke so I got an enchanted one. Heard it's like a hair miracle, tried it, and it really worked. By the way, your hair looks good. Did you cut it lately?”

Azriel couldn't help but warm up at your rambling. His eyes widened at first, and then he threw his head back and laughed. The deep, rich sound was familiar, yet it never failed to feel like the first time. It was a beautiful and joyful melody that always managed to make you melt on the inside.

"I really missed you," he admitted, feeling your heart pound in your chest, unable to meet his gaze.

"You did?" Azriel's soft smile warmed your heart, the one you'd nearly missed.

"I did. I enjoy being around you and hearing your voice," he confessed.

"Oh, I always thought you didn’t." You couldn't help but feel a mix of surprise and relief.

Stepping closer, Azriel's presence loomed over you, his hand gently lifting your chin.

“Please, don’t misunderstand me. I’m sorry that my silence ever gave you that impression. I thought I was making my interest clear, to be honest,” he murmured, sincerity gleaming in his hazel eyes.

“Okay, I promise I won’t misunderstand again. But why did you think you made yourself clear?” you whispered, feeling a rush of energy as you locked eyes with him.

“Because I made a point of holding prolonged eye contact, thinking it was a clear signal of my interest,” he explained matter-of-factly.

You couldn't help but raise your eyebrows, suppressing a laugh. “So, all those times you were staring at me, you were actually flirting?”

Azriel's expression softened, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. “Well, yes. I thought you knew.”

Suppressing a giggle, you bit your lip and glanced away, not wanting to offend him.

“Ah, not exactly crystal clear, but I understand now. Let’s go for a walk and chat some more,” you suggested, linking your arm through his.

"Sounds perfect. Now, tell me about those new leathers you got," he said, his playful demeanor easing the tension, steering the conversation towards lighter topics.

—

Over the next few months, the bond between you and Azriel deepened. He trusted you with secrets of his life that remained hidden from everyone else. These private conversations became the pillars of your connection, sweet moments for you only.

As the months went by, an unspoken desire for more lingered between you and Azriel. Yet, despite the magnetic pull, something kept you from going the final step.

You've had countless close moments where you almost kissed, where just a tip-toe closer would have sealed the deal. But it never happened. So close, yet so frustratingly far away.

—

Mor's question disrupted the laughter and gossiping of the girls' night, the clinking of wine glasses punctuating the anticipation in the air.

"Remind me again why you and Azriel aren’t a couple?”

Mor's curiosity hung palpably, shifting the mood from gossiping to an interrogation.

“Well, it’s kinda complicated,” you replied, swirling the wine in your glass as you gathered your thoughts.

“We have a great connection, but there's this unspoken understanding between us. It’s like there's a boundary we're afraid to cross.”

Amren raised an eyebrow, her sharp eyes observing you closely. “Unspoken understanding? Fancy fucking excuse”

Elain giggled and nodded in agreement.

You chuckled, “Maybe it is, but it’s like we're both tiptoeing around something, afraid to ruin what we have. I mean, do I want to be with him? Yeah, I do. But we might fuck something up and I think we have too good of a relationship to throw it all away.”

Nesta leaned back with a smirk, “Sounds like a case of unresolved sexual tension. Maybe the only cure would be to finally get a good dicking.”

You shot her a look, “You make it sound like a medical condition. Also that has got to be some plot from your smutty books.”

Feyre chimed in, “Maybe it is. Maybe it's time you took a bold step to see what happens. Who knows, it might get you laid.”

The group erupted into laughter, but underneath it, you couldn’t ignore the truth in their words. You liked him, there was no denying it. But did he like you as much?

—

“Is she dating anyone?” Rhysand’s casual question caught Azriel off guard as he browsed his big wine selections with Cassian while the girls where out of the house.

Azriel feigned ignorance. “Who?”

Rhysand and Cassian exchanged a knowing look. “Y/N. Is she dating anyone?”

Something about the question irked Azriel. “Why the hell do you care?”

Rhysand shrugged nonchalantly. “Just curious. I might set her up with someone.”

Azriel's jaw clenched as he fought to mask his frustration. Rhysand's casual tone grated on his nerves, igniting a simmering jealousy he hadn't realized he harbored. Suppressing a sigh, he forced himself to respond evenly,

“She's a grown female, Rhys. She doesn't need you playing matchmaker for her.”

Cassian chuckled, sensing the tension in the air. “Easy, Az. No need to get defensive. I think little Y/N might want a lover of her own, no?”

Azriel's gaze hardened, a flicker of annoyance flashing in his eyes. “I'm not being defensive. I just don't appreciate your implication. And no, she doesn’t need some lover.”

Rhysand raised an eyebrow, his smirk bordering on mischief. “Interesting. And why is that?”

Before Azriel could formulate a response, you had returned with the girls, your laughter echoing through the room, shifting the focus away from the questions. Azriel sighed, silently cursing Rhysand's annoying questions and the unresolved feelings stirring within him.

—

You turned off the tap and brought the glass of water to your mouth, much needed after the amounts of wine you and the girls had downed. It was honestly a miracle Mor had the energy to winnow you to the house of wind.

As the girls walked to the library for more drinking, you snuck into the kitchen for some water.

You put down the tall glass of water, swallowing the refreshing and cool drink before your body tingle.

Your stomach flipped, blood heating as your skin broke out in goosebumps.

His presence was undeniable.

Azriel was here.

Turning around to leave the sink, you saw him standing there behind the island, looking at you with a soft look that made your stomach flutter and cheeks heat.

"Hi," Azriel greeted softly as you approached him.

"Hi, Az." you replied, feeling a surge of warmth at the sight of him.

"Did you have fun with the girls?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"Yeah, I did," you answered with a smile as you looked down.

Azriel's lips twitched, and he gently lifted your chin with his pointer and thumb. He looked down at your midnight blue dress and raised his brows

"You look absolutely breathtaking."

Your heart beat faster and faster and you were damn sure your friends upstairs could hear how hard it drummed against your chest.

You leaned into his touch, the move careful and intentional. Azriel’s thumb rubbed against your jaw, your eyes glistening in awe at his handsome self.

”Thank you. It’s nothing special, I just like the color.”

Azriel's gaze softened, his eyes lingering on yours with a tenderness that made your knees weak. "It's not just the color," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's you. You’re beautiful."

A blush crept up your cheeks at his words, and you bit your lip nervously, unsure how to respond to such sincerity. But damn, he looked good, and the alcohol in your system made you feel bold enough to speak your mind.

"You look really good," you said, your voice a little breathless. "This shirt suits you."

Stepping closer, you let your hand rest on his sturdy chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips, the tension between you palpable. Slowly, your hand traveled down to the planes of his stomach, each movement filled with anticipation.

As you looked up at him with a mischievous smile, you played with his belt, the air crackling with the electric energy of the moment. His reaction was immediate, his gaze flickering with desire as the tension between you reached its peak.

Azriel clenched his jaw, his hand moving to the back of your neck, pulling you closer until your breaths mingled. The sudden proximity caught you off guard, making you gasp softly.

"Careful," he murmured, his voice low and tinged with desire. "Let's not do things we can't handle."

Your breath hitched at his words, a shiver running down your spine as his proximity sent electric sparks coursing through you. “That sounds like a challenge, Azriel,” you taunted, your voice barely a whisper.

Azriel’s smirk widened, his gaze burning with intensity. “Consider it an invitation.”

You looked at each other, breathing shallowly. Azriel’s intense gaze softened gradually as his eyes traveled further down to your lips. He swallowed, pupils wide with lust.

"May I-"

"Yes."

It was a tender, sweet kiss that caught you off guard in the best way possible. You didn't expect him to be so gentle, but you welcomed it wholeheartedly.

His touch was tender yet reassuring. One hand cradled the back of your head, while the other wrapped around your waist, drawing you closer to him.

You melted into his embrace, savoring every moment of closeness. Your hands found their way to his neck, clinging to him as if you never wanted to let go.

Azriel’s shadows swirled around you lazily, one trailing up your calf and causing you to twitch in surprise. Pulling back, you were met with his clouded, lustful eyes. A mixture of concern and confusion cleared up his hazy gaze.

Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. Here you were, in the kitchen, making out with Azriel—the very male you'd had a crush on for what felt like an eternity. Panic surged through you, and you took a step back, needing a moment to collect yourself.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm, I’m fine, just give me one second,” you managed to stammer out before turning on your heel and practically stumbling out of the kitchen.

With your heart racing and your mind in a whirlwind, you burst into the library where the girls were lounging, each with a glass of wine in hand. Feyre perked up at your arrival, offering a lazy smile.

“There you are, was wondering where you went,” she mused, clearly already feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Without thought, you blurted out the bombshell news. “Guys, Azriel and I kissed.”

The revelation seemed to sober up the entire room, and suddenly, you were bombarded with questions and reactions from your friends.

“Oh my gods, finally,” Mor exclaimed, practically jumping in her seat

“Is he a good kisser? Was it rough or soft? How did he hold you?” Nesta fired off questions, her curiosity piqued.

”All of you owe me 10 cold coins each. I’m always right,” Feyre slumped back in her seat, sipping the wine as she nodded happily.

“I knew you were up to something while we were in here,” Amren chimed in with a knowing smirk.

You grinned widely as you shared all the details with the girls, who were just as excited as you were. They leaned in, eager to hear every bit of the story.

As the questions swirled around you, Elain’s confused expression brought the conversation to a halt.

“Wait, why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be kissing right now?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

You froze, the weight of her words sinking in. “Well, yes, we were just... making out, and I had to come here. I panicked.”

In response, your friends practically shoved you back outside, Nesta taking the lead. “And don’t you dare come back until your legs are shaking and you have a big smile on your face,” she declared with a mischievous grin.

You took a deep breath, suppressing your smile as you made your way back to the kitchen. Azriel stood there, leaning against the kitchen island with his feet crossed and arms over his chest.

“Are you sure you’re okay? We don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he said, his voice laced with concern.

You softened at his words, stepping closer and wrapping your arms around his neck. Pulling him down slightly, you gave him a loud kiss that ended with an audible "mwah."

"I really couldn't be more comfortable. I love you, Az. Like a whole lot," you confessed, your voice filled with sincerity and affection.

Azriel's eyes softened at your words, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch gentle and tender.

"I love you too," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "More than I can put into words."

You felt a rush of warmth flood through you at his admission, your heart fluttering with happiness. Without another word, you leaned in and kissed him again, the feeling of his lips against yours sending shivers down your spine.

Azriel grabbed your hips and slowly backed you into the kitchen island. You yelped when he picked you up and put you on the counter, deeping the kiss.

“Let me take you on a date. I want to do this properly,” he whispers breathlessly between kisses as he tucks your hair behind your ear.

You put your hands on his chest lovingly as you nod, smiling up at him. “I’d love that.”

—

extra scene where rhys and cassian visit azriel in the kitchen:

Azriel stood frozen as you left, his mind going into overdrive, worrying if he had done something wrong. Just as he was about to follow you, Rhys and Cassian popped their heads into the kitchen.

"Yo. Where did she go?" Cassian asked, scanning the empty kitchen.

Azriel furrowed his brows at the pair, or rather their heads.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Go before she comes back," he urged, shooing them away with his hand.

Rhys leaned against the kitchen island, a satisfied grin on his face. "It's about damn time."

Cassian nodded in agreement. "Fuck yeah, took him long enough. But hey, better late than never."

Azriel frowned, feeling the weight of their words. "You guys make it sound like it was some kind of mission."

Rhys chuckled. "In a way, it was. And you finally completed it."

Azriel sighed, "Stop talking like that, you sound fucking ancient.”

Cassian smirked at him, arms over his chest as he said “Y’all kissed?”

Azriel's cheeks flushed slightly at Cassian's question, but he maintained his composure. "Yeah, we did."

Rhys raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. "And?"

Azriel shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "And it was... nice."

Cassian laughed, clapping Azriel on the back. "Nice? Come on, tongue?”

"Yeah, tongue,” he said trying and failing to suppress a smile.

Rhys raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. “I knew it, you little freak. What else?”

Azriel's expression turned guarded. “Okay, that's all you dickheads need to know. Now, get the fuck out before she comes back.”

Rhysand’s eyebrows shot up, a finger wagging in Azriel’s face. “You better not fuck in my kitchen, I swear to the Mother, I’ll make you both scrub every inch.”

Azriel rolled his eyes and ushered them out, leaning against the kitchen island, waiting for you.

[obsessivevoidkitten]

The Werewolf's Pet Cat

Trans Male Yandere Werewolf x Trans Male Cat-hybrid Reader (CW: Noncon, mild scent kink, knotting, inhuman genitals, heat cycles, rut, werewolf yandere, reader being chased, trans male reader and yandere, yandere has transitioned via magic, general yandere behavior.) Word Count 2.1k (This is a commission for @trocha1c. I hope you guys enjoy it. Also this is not an omegaverse fic, there is knotting because the yandere is a werewolf and there is a heat cycle for the reader because they are part feline, sense of smell is mentioned because of their animal abilities, but there are no alphas or omegas in this universe.)

There were many servants in any castle, even in a smaller one like the one that you worked in still contained a sizable workforce. The dusting alone was an atrocious task. You would know, you were one of those numerous servants. Though you were the only one who was a cat-man.

Your tasks were largely various cleaning oriented jobs including dusting, sweeping, laundry, and occasionally bringing food from the kitchen to Lord Dran when he decided to have his meals outside of the kitchen.

That’s the task you enjoyed the most, it meant you got to be in his presence. He always smelled so nice. So… masculine. Even with your sensitive feline nose you couldn’t quite place what it was.

You had worked for him for about a year and you had been almost supernaturally attracted to him since the first time you met him. Of course… despite being a somewhat uncommon cat man you were still very much a commoner. And he was a lord.

You could never hope to be anything to him.

This wasn’t an incorrect line of thinking. Lord Dran was very much attracted to you as well. He could tell you were a kindred soul. He also possessed superior senses and he knew that even though you were a boy you had a pussy between your legs, and he could smell its arousal whenever you stayed in the room with him for any extended length of time.

He was once like you, a man with those parts, until he had paid a lot of money for a mage to conduct a complex ritual to give him the body he had always wanted. The fact that you were both trans made him want you much more. You’d understand him more than others.

But despite his deep seated longing for you he would have to be satisfied with stolen glances, your scent, and impure thoughts he harbored towards you, for he couldn’t ever deign to be with a commoner.

He had to use his position as a lord to solidify a political alliance for his family and strengthen the family position.

You were completely oblivious to his long stares and extra kindness towards you. In the end it didn’t matter though. They couldn’t amount to anything.

But the royal family, or at least his branch of it had a terrible secret. They were no longer human. They were all werewolves. Once a month during the full moon Lord Dran retreated to a fortified private room and grew into a large ravenous beast. One from nightmares, with a hunger for fresh game and with an instinctual need to find a mate to stuff its big knot into.

You didn’t have something so dramatic to struggle with, you only had a monthly heat cycle. They weren’t really all that bad, you just became significantly more horny, more sensitive to the scents of others, and a bit feverish. Nothing you couldn’t handle.

But it just so happened that your heat cycle coincided with the full moon.

One night, a full moon no less, you had been working late in the great hall cleaning up after earlier festivities. When you finished you headed for the servant’s quarters but for some reason you had made a wrong turn. And you were much closer to the room that no one ever went into. The one that always remained locked.

When you realized where you were you started to turn back but something alluring with a hint of danger hit your heat-enhanced nose and you were compelled to follow.

You got closer and closer to the door. What was that amazing smell? It was so strong now… and starting to cause you to make a wet spot from the arousal it was generating in you.

Suddenly you heard a muffled scream of pain through the thick door. You ran over to it and found that it was locked from the outside and through the glass panel you saw Lord Dran naked on the ground writhing in pain.

You immediately unlocked the heavy metal door and made your way inside, running to him with utmost concern.

“What’s wrong my lor-”

“Y-you… don’t.. under… stand… g-get ouuOOWWWLLLLL”

His last word turned into a pained howl as his body shook. His bones and muscles rearranged themselves before your very eyes as thick fur covered his body.

The seemingly human Lord Dran was a werewolf! A cursed Beast!

To say you were terrified was a gross understatement. Your heart was beating so fast that it hurt. Quickly, you turned to flee the room so you could lock the monster in behind you. But the speed of the werewolf was far superior to your own. He grabbed your leg, long claws raking against your supple skin, causing you to flop down on your belly.

It was at that exact moment that a shocked guard rounded the corner and saw the scene, you crying on your stomach, being pulled closer by his transformed Lord.

He had been given the duty to protect the door from anyone who may get too close, but he had left his post for a few minutes to take a leak.

And now this had happened.

You looked up at him standing in the doorway and screamed for his help, but when he got over the fear that paralyzed him he stammered out a quick apology and slammed the door before sliding the heavy lock in place, quite literally sealing your fate. He just couldn’t risk Lord Dran being released to save but one lowly servant.

The guard was sure you were going to perish in a horrifying display of blood and gore. YOU were sure you were going to perish in a horrifying display of blood and gore.

But a violent blow never came. Instead the beast flipped you over on your back and sniffed curiously at your crotch, nuzzling his nose into it. You desperately kicked away his face, but his angry growl was enough to make you stop.

The werewolf had determined that you were his mate, and while you didn’t know it yet he would never harm his partner. But… he also wouldn’t be denied his right to stuff them with his knot.

With extreme care not to harm your fragile skin, he carefully used his razor sharp claws to remove your clothing from your quivering form. You didn’t immediately understand exactly what his intentions with you were but it became clear what he wanted when he loomed over you and saw his large red cock erect and swinging beneath him. He pinned you down easily.

You shuddered as his cold nose nuzzled into your sensitive neck, taking in your sweet scent.

As his dick got closer to your entrance you renewed your struggle, forgetting the strength of the creature that was holding you down and the perceived danger he represented.

“No! No please! I-i don-”

This time he didn’t respond with a growl, instead opting to lick your neck to try and calm you down. He wasn’t going to hurt his little mate~ He just wanted to fuck you and take care of that heat cycle he could smell so clearly. He was helping you!

Encouraged by the whimpers his tongue on your neck brought out of you he started biting. Not hard enough to break skin, but they would still leave lovely little claiming marks.

The combination of stimulation from the bites, your heat, and his scent finally caused you to spread your legs for him, you barely registered what you were allowing as his cock plunged into your drooling pussy with an audible squelching noise.

With your tight wet warmth enveloping him his knot began swelling inside of you, making your toes curl and twitch as it kissed the walls of your cunt with every powerful thrust of your Lord.

Some part of your brain was still telling you to scream for help and cry and try to struggle, but it felt so nice to finally have a heat taken care of.

You wrapped your arms and legs around him, grinding your pussy into his dick, as he continued biting you wherever he could leave a nice claiming mark.

The two of you went at it nearly all night, bringing one another to orgasm many times over.

At some point, very late into the night, you passed out from exhaustion with the lycanthrope holding you close, nutting in you a couple more times before finally falling asleep himself. With his knot still tying the two of you together as he caressed you.

When Lord Dran woke up he was his normal human self, holding you in his arms.

He freaked out about the situation, but as soon as the guard informed him what had happened and he had a moment to reflect he knew what he had to do.

Regardless of your social status he would have to keep you very close at all times to ensure that you never speak of his “condition” to a single soul.

When you finally woke up you were confused and sore, covered in bite marks and a few scratches. When the memory of what had transpired last night finally rushed back to you, terror gripped your heart once more.

Lord Dran was a werewolf, and he had scratched you! Would you become a cursed beast yourself?

“Oh you’re awake! We have a lot to discuss…”

The first thing he explained, as if he could read your thoughts, was that lycanthropy passed via bloodlines and complex curses. Nothing physical.

That was a relief.

The next thing he explained was that he could never let you leave his side now. You’d have to marry him and there was simply no other solution. He could not risk his secret getting out. Even if the chance of someone believing you was small.

“I am so sorry this happened to you.”

Though to be honest he was quite happy. The his to any social status was worth it to have a mate that he can be with with no danger when his time of the month came around. He was sure he would have slaughtered anyone else, but you were so special. With you there he could focus on fucking instead of violent urges, it was more than he could ever have hoped for.

Just a day ago if you had been told you would soon be in a relationship with Lord Dran you would have been elated, but now you were just terrified. You didn’t want to marry a werewolf. You had sympathy for his situation, but this is not the kind of thing you thought that you could deal with.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

ONE MONTH LATER.

It had been days since you had managed to escape the castle. With your keen animal-like senses you managed to be able to hunt and forage enough with yourself to get by. Plus you had managed to keep a bit of gold with you, just in case.

You wanted to make it to the next kingdom, but the way was long and the woods were dense. You probably had another week of travel before making it across the border. No nobles from your home country would dare cross without notice.

Night was fast approaching so you decided you would make camp until the first light of dawn. You were once again in heat so you slid a couple of your fingers into your pussy to take the edge off.

While you were masturbating you suddenly heard what sounded like branches breaking close by. You pulled your pants up and listened intently, your feline ears moving to try and locate the source of the sound.

Probably just an ani-

Your thought was interrupted by a great and blood curdling howl. And it was exceedingly close. Was it a wild wolf? Was it something… more? You didn’t stay to find out.

With your animal-like agility you wasted no time in running out into the dark. You could probably manage to outrun a wolf.

But the shadowy figure you saw pursuing you in the moonlight was no wolf.

And now that you were down wind you could smell it too.

Lord Dran.

In no time at all you were pounced upon, claws once again removing clothing and a huge erection prodding at your entrance.

Ah, his mate was already nice and warmed up for him~ How sweet!

His wolf form didn’t understand why his mate had run, but that didn’t matter now. The chase was won and he certainly would never let you have another chance at escape.

[kaleldobrev]

Please Don't Leave

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Dean's lucky to have you in his life and honestly doesn't know what he would ever do without you

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Cursing (3x), Fluff, Vulnerable/Angry Dean

Authors Note: The gif makes me sad | This might seem a little non canon but at the same time I honestly feel like Dean would react this way (fight me if you want, but I said what I said) | I just love this man so fucking much | Dream/Flashbacks are in italics | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Dean didn’t have a lot of consistencies in his life, but you were one of them. Out of everyone he had known in his life, you were one of the only people that had remained with him through all the heartbreak, all of the death, all of the blood, sweat, and tears that this life had. You had been through it all with him: Sam going to Stanford and leaving him behind, his fathers death, him selling his soul, the year that Sam went to Hell, the year the two of you were in Purgatory, the few months he was a demon, his bloodlust fueled by the Mark, him being possessed by Michael. He had an endless list of things that the two of you had been through together, things that would cause any normal or rational person to throw in the towel; but not you. “You can’t get rid of me Dean Winchester, not even if you kill me yourself.” You had joked. And that was something that he had almost done – and on several occasions too. And yet, you never left him. “I guess I’m just stupid.” You said. “Or maybe the sex me and you have is just that good.”

The sex he had with you, now that was something. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced; and he has had quite a lot of sex during his lifetime (not that he bragged about it of course). When the two of you initially met, it was only supposed to be a working relationship, a friends with benefits sort of deal. But eventually it turned into more. He wasn’t sure where him or you had gotten your wires crossed but they did; and it turned into you and him always finding each other at the end of the night regardless of the different men and women that had hit on both of you at the bar you two were at.

The sex used to be quick, usually done in either a drunken haze or after a tough hunt. But it eventually turned into something that either one of you would initiate through soft touches: a kiss on the forehead, a simple hand hold, or cuddling into each other. Once, in the middle of sex, he wasn’t sure why he had said it but he did. He kind of just blurted it out. “I love you.” Now that was something he never thought he’d ever say during sex before. But here you were beneath him, staring up at him with those doe eyes of yours that you frequently had during sex and said, “I love you too.” It was something he didn’t expect.

Dean didn’t know what he could or would possibly do if you weren’t in his life; and that was something he didn’t want to think about. But it was something that has been an unavoidable thought as of late. Waking up to you was one of the worst but best things after a nightmare of losing you. He would wake up in a panic, his heart racing, sweating; afraid that you were gone for good this time. But without fail, every single time you would be right there next to him. Either sound asleep or awake enough to tell him, “It’s okay, I’m right here.” He would always reply the same way. “Just…please don’t leave.” It was a simple yet complicated sentence. “I’m not going to. I’d never leave you.” Those words that you always uttered back should have been comforting to him, but it was just an empty promise – even though he knows that’s how you never intended it to sound. In your heart you loved him deeply, and he knew that. He knew that you’d never leave him; the two of you have been through everything together. But when it came to this life, it was hard to make and keep promises like that.

“Dean, I just can’t do this anymore I’m sorry.” Your words had cut into him like a knife. Like he’d been shot hundreds of times. The torture he received from Hell combined with the loss of his mother was child’s play compared to what he was currently feeling. He just started blankly at the two duffel bags at your feet as you stood in the doorway of the room the two of you shared. Well, formally shared that is. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” You asked, your question snapping him out of whatever trance he was in.

“There’s nothing to say.” Of course there were hundreds, no thousands of things that he had wanted to say to you, but he knew that he couldn’t say any of it. As much as he wanted to beg for you to stay, he wasn’t going to make you stay. Once you made up your mind that was it; there was no convincing you.

You looked at him with a confused expression. “You don’t even want to know why I’m leaving?” You asked, and Dean simply shook his head. “Why not?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” He tried to keep his voice even, to make you believe that he was okay. But he could tell that you knew he wasn’t (you knew him long enough to know when he was or wasn’t okay).

“Dean.” You said, your voice sounding more heartbroken than his.

“It’s alright. You don’t…you don’t have to explain yourself.” He said, taking a seat on the bed you two once shared.

“I feel like you deserve an explanation. We were together for almost twenty years Dean.” You sat down next to him on the bed. He had just wanted to push you away or wrap you in his arms. Two completely differently reactions, but that’s the way he felt. “Dean.” You touched his shoulder and he flinched, you quickly removed your hand. “I love you, and I know you know that but –”

“Please just…stop talking. I really don’t want to hear what you have to say.” His voice was more hurt now, and he could feel himself trying not to say or do anything that he was going to regret. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t want you to have to see that, despite seeing him do it so many times before. “Just, leave if you’re going to leave.” You didn’t move, simply just staring at him. “Go!” He snapped, and that’s when you got up.

You walked over to your bags, slinging one over your shoulder and holding the other one in your hands. “Goodbye Dean.” You said, before walking out of the room. For a while he heard the sound of your boots down the hall, but they suddenly became faint, almost inaudible. The Bunker door opened and closed again. You were gone. Gone for good this time.

“You said you’d never fucking leave.” He whispered to himself. “Said you’d never fucking leave me.” He pounded the bed with his fist. “You fucking lied!” He got up from the bed and he felt himself start to lose control; no longer in control of the emotions that had been building up when he had started watching you pack up your bags.

Dean woke up abruptly, sitting up. He was panicked, his heart racing. His breaths were heavy, his chest moving up and down. He rubbed his face, trying to fully wake himself up. There was no way he would be getting back to sleep for a while; not after that nightmare. “Y/N -” he began to say as he looked over to his right side; your side of the bed. You were gone. “Sweetheart?” He asked, his hand reached out and touched the emptiness next to him: it was cold.

He looked up at the door to the bedroom which was slightly ajar. The only light in the room came seeping in from the hallway. He didn’t remember having the door open, the door was always shut whenever the two of you slept. Despite how safe the Bunker was, sleeping with the door closed added an extra layer of safety, not just for him, but for you as well.

A shadow appeared, blocking some of the light. He reached over and opened the drawer of his nightstand, slightly gripping his gun that he always kept there. Before he could fully wrap his hand around the weapon you squeaked inside the room and shut the door again quietly. A huge amount of relief washed over him in that moment as he let go of the gun and closed the drawer. “Dean?” You questioned, upon hearing the drawer close. “Baby are you okay?” You asked, walking to sit on his side of the bed. He looked at you as you placed a hand on his cheek. Your eyes full of worry.

“You were…” his eyes flickered to your side of the bed that had been empty when he woke up before looking back at you again. “You were gone. When I woke up you…”

“It’s okay. I’m here.” You reassured him, your voice calm.

“Where did you go?” He asked tiredly.

“The bathroom. I really, really needed to pee.” You said, Dean chuckled a little at your comment. “You know I wouldn’t willingly leave you right?” You reassured him again. You felt him nod in your hand.

“I know.” His voice sounding just a hint sad. “I uh, I feel stupid for freaking out.” The sentence was a whisper.

“There’s nothing to feel stupid about Dean.” Another reassurance. Dean had every right to react the way he did; he had lost so much, even before you had met him. You had been with him through everything. Witnessed so much loss and endured just as much. “Was it a nightmare?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It was the…the one where you break up with me.” You hated that one just as much as he did.

“I’m never going to break up with you. I love you too damn much.” You said, giving him a smile. You crawled into bed next to him getting underneath the covers. “Come here.” You held out your arms for him, and without hesitation he went into them. He wrapped his arms around your torso and rested his head on your chest; your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. Your fingers started playing with his hair, gently massaging his head.

The two of you sat there in silence, both of you with your eyes closed. You weren’t sleeping, but you were unsure if he was. Even if he wasn’t, his breathing was starting to get more even, he was starting to calm down. Hearing the sound of your heartbeat always calmed him down. “Y/N?” Dean asked.

“Yes my love?” You asked, opening your eyes.

He looked up at you briefly, tiredly. “I know I don’t tell you enough but…I’m really lucky to have you in my life. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.” He kissed your neck, as that was one of the only spots he could currently reach.

“I’m lucky to have you in my life too.” You responded, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

“And Sweetheart?” He asked again.

“Yeah?” You asked.

“Thank you…thank you for not leaving me.” His voice sounding a little pained. The sound of this sentence had broken your heart a bit. Leaving Dean was never an option for you, no matter what had happened between the two of you. Being with him wasn’t easy, but you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He was your person, the love of your life, your soulmate. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kissed him on the top of the head again, and you could feel his smile.

That night, Dean didn’t have another nightmare, but he did dream. He had one of his favorite dreams; one that always gave him a sense of calmness and normalcy. The two of you would be just lying in bed together watching some random horror movie on tv. It was something that the two of you have done hundreds, no, thousands of times, so there would be no reason why it would be his so called favorite dream. What made it his favorite though was purely based on one small detail, a detail that made it known to him that it was in fact a dream: wedding rings would be on both of your fingers.

Someday maybe, he thought.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @jackles010378 If you'd like to be on a tag list, just message me!

[klausysworld]

u write angst so well ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I'm thinking about one with klaus, but like, something that hurts but it's comforting at the same time

Like him and reader are in a relationship and he travels for some days, reader has depression and during this time she practically can't do anything, cleaning, basic hygiene, cooking, the basic stuff most people do without difficulty. And when he comes back he sees her in this situation and comfort her, giving her a shower, babying her, this fluff stuff

Klaus is one of my comfort characters and, by the way, the speeches he has about life and enjoying like actually helps me a lot with my depression. And u are gold 🥇

Never Alone

Y/n was a sweet girl. She always was.

Growing up she was often full of emotions, crying almost always whether it was because she was too happy or too sad or too angry. However every time her eyes would water, each time her bottom lip would quiver, one of her parents or aunts or cousins would sigh and tell her how annoying she was, how pathetic it was. Her emotions and feelings became ignored, assumed to be overdramatic.

So when she really had something worth crying over, nobody cared to listen. Not a soul would give her even a second. It didn't matter how many times she tried to seriously talk to them, explain she wasn't an oversensitive little girl anymore, she knew what she was feeling and what had happened to her. They didn't care to hear it.

Instead she learned to push any thoughts down or at least aside. If nobody wanted to listen then she wouldn't bother making noise for them to hear.

For a long time, she barely spoke a word.

Most of the time she didn't even really feel anything anymore. She tried to sometimes but she just didn't, couldn't. Life began to feel utterly pointless.

That was when she would spend days in bed, not moving to do a thing. Often she would hope that if she stayed there long enough, maybe she would disappear or if she slept for long enough, maybe she wouldn't have to wake back up. Unfortunately for her, neither of those things happened.

It was fate really that on one of the only days she got dressed and went out that she met Klaus Mikaelson.

Somehow she managed to be in the grill at the wrong time and managed to both witness and experience a supernatural attack. Klaus had thrown Damon across the room which caused him to slam into the wall beside Y/n. Her eyes were wide and she went to walk back out the door but Klaus sped over and grabbed her wrist she she could exit.

"I don't think so sweetheart" he chuckled, pulling her further into the room and she simply couldn't be bothered to struggle. He sat her down in a booth and gave her a fake smile, looking into her eyes and compelling her "Stay still and stay quiet" he ordered before going back and finishing off the rest of the scooby-doo gang.

His eyes flicked back over to the girl he had compelled. Her head lay against the back of her seat and her fingers picked at her lips until the rich scent of her blood reached his nose.

Klaus sped infront of her and he leaned down to pull her hands away, her eyes glanced up at him with anxiety swirling inside of them. His thumb swiped the blood away from her lips and he sucked it off of his skin with a hum. A slither of amusement shone through him as she shifted uncomfortably.

"You can talk now sweetheart, and move as she should please" he told her, interested in her reaction but she barely gave one.

"Can I just go home now please?" She asked, her voice weak and tired. His eyes narrowed briefly before he shrugged and pulled her up.

"Course you can love, come on lets get you back. Point the way" he murmured as he took her outside and placed her infront of him so that she may lead him.

They walked in silence back to her house. She hesitated to go in when the sound of her parents yelling could be heard from where they stood. Klaus observed as she wondered back into the home, her parents oblivious as she slipped past them and up the stairs.

Klaus forgot about her easily, out of sight out of mind.

But then she came into view again, she was sat on the edge of Wickery Bridge with her legs hanging off while she leaned forward daringly.

His brows furrowed and he made his way over. He took a seat beside her, letting his own legs dangle off as well. Again she gave no reaction to his presence, not even when his hand reached out to gently hold her hand. Klaus may not know her or necessarily care for her but he didn't want her life to be seen as a tragedy. He didn't want her to throw what she had away when she could still have so much more.

They sat in silence for some time, sometimes she would swing her legs and lean further forward to see the water below. Each time she shifted closer to falling his grip on her tightened and his gaze hardened.

Later in the night her phone pinged, Klaus glanced to see her mothers name on the screen with a message beneath telling Y/n that neither of her parents would be home for the weekend so she would need to look after herself. His eyes softened as he watched her read the message. Both brows rose on his face when without a care, she tossed the device into the river.

Klaus couldn't help the little laugh that left him as the water splashed and the light from the phone quickly sunk away from sight. His smile died away again as her gaze didn't lift from the deep flowing water and he hesitantly slid his arm around her to secure his hold.

"I'm not gonna jump" she mumbled but he still frowned

"I don't believe you" he whispered honestly and she hummed.

"You don't know me" she muttered and he tilted his head

"Perhaps not yet" he countered but she didn't offer a response. Klaus sighed softly and carefully dropped down from the edge and back onto the rode, his arm stayed around Y/n's waist so that he could pull her back to safety. She huffed in annoyance as he pulled her along with him.

"I don't know who you are or what you are or what you want.." she dragged and he hummed.

"My name is Niklaus, well thats what my father named me however I choose to go by Klaus, I have for centuries. I'm a vampire-werewolf hybrid and what I want is for my family to be calm and collected for one in the thousand years that I have had the privilege to know them" He grinned at her and she stared blankly at him.

"Okay" she mumbled, accepting her fate.

And from that day on, each time he saw her, he would talk at her and pull her along walks with him. He began bringing her back to his house and going through his plans with her, sometimes she would give advice or little comments to put him on a better track and he found her rather helpful when she wanted to be.

Klaus began to notice more and more about her as time went by. Like how she didn't eat much or change her clothes often. He seemed to have to wait forever outside of her house as though no matter what time he came to see her, she had always just woken up.

So he did what he thought would be good.

Klaus set her up a bedroom in his home with a wardrobe of Klaus and a conjoining bathroom which consisted of both a shower and a bathtub.

He caught on quickly that if he wasn't in the house with her then she didn't bother waking up let alone getting up and doing anything. So he started opening her curtains in the morning, gently waking her up and placing some sort of little breakfast item on her lap and a drink on the nightstand while he ran a bath. He'd sprinkle the bath-salts and pour the bath-soak before folding up a towel and hanging it over the radiator.

Then he would wonder back into her room and lift her up. He had discovered that mornings were especially difficult for her to do anything. She wouldn't talk and she wouldn't move. He was lucky that she felt guilty enough to eat the breakfast he fed her, though sometimes she couldn't physically do it and he would encourage her to drink a smoothie so that she had something healthy in her. But every day, without fail, he would carry her to the bathroom and place her onto the heated tiled floor.

"Can you do it yourself sweetheart?" he would ask each morning, his gaze soft and gentle. Sometimes she would be able to and would get undressed and bathe all by herself. Other times she could get undressed and in the bath but would ask him to come back and help her scrub her skin clean. And of course there were days where she just wouldn't respond at all and he would give soft kisses to her head while carefully, respectfully undressing her and helping her into the tub before cleaning her off and lifting her back out to dry her.

There had been one or two occasions when he had been in a rush or a stressed out mood and would end up being a little rude to her. Her eyes would just grow tireder and little tears would gather to them. Guilt would consume Klaus whole and he would push aside whatever was bothering him and apologise to Y/n while helping her get ready before giving her a soft kiss and promising he would be back to check on her.

For a while the most he would do was just a gentle peck on her lips in an act of comfort however as he continued to look after her, he fell in love with her. He would see how long one of his little kisses would last before she would pull away and he would test how far his hands were allowed to wonder before she would let out a whine and curl away.

Time went by quickly, their routine continued. Klaus would ensure she was up and okay, he would go out to fix his problems, return at some point in the day to give Y/n something to eat, sometimes she would have gone for a walk in the garden or be sat with one of his hybrid who were under strict orders to never lay a hand on her, then he would go back out and return a last time. Then she would sit in his art room with a book or a word search or something to occupy her mind while he painted and spoke to her about all the things he had seen that day and which of them he thinks she would have enjoyed. Often they cooked dinner together and then he would take her back to bed and watch a film before departing to his own room.

A few times he would fall asleep beside her with her head on his chest or in his lap as he leaned against the headboard. Neither ever complained or mentioned the arrangement so Klaus began sleeping there more often and would wake his love with a sprinkle of kisses across her cheeks until her pretty eyes would flutter open for him to see.

Things were going quite well until Klaus had to go away for a couple days to speak with some werewolf packs. He had been skeptic and concerned to leave sweet Y/n all alone but he also knew he had his hybrids and asked them to take care of her. He hadn't known that they were unsired at that point and completely forgot the girl even existed.

Y/n hadn't moved from the spot in her bed since Klaus had left two days before. It only took one glance for Klaus to realise this when he returned. His expression changed in an instant and he was pulling the covers off of her, promising her he wouldn't leave her again.

"It's all okay sweetheart, lets get you to the bathroom okay?" He whispered as he carried her in and sat her down on the toilet while running a bath for her to lay in. "I'm gonna get you some water okay?" he murmured before speeding down to the kitchen and grabbing some water and tossing some pasta into a pan with water and turning the stove on before flashing back upstairs.

He placed the glass down on the side and lifted her back up, pulled her clothed off and lowered her into the bath. His fingers gently wiped the tears away that had slipped down her face before pouring some of the warm water over her hair.

"My sweet girl" he cooed softly, his hands lathering her hair in shampoo. "You're going to be just fine" he murmured, rinsing her hair out and combing conditioner through the ends. He reached for the loofa and began washing her body gently, pouring soap over her shoulders and scrubbing it across her soft skin. "Okay sweetheart, stay right there" he mumbled, zipping back to the kitchen and pouring the pasta into the colander and then back into the pan with a jar of tomato sauce before grating some cheese over the top and grabbing a fork. He brought it up and put it on her bedside table before going back to her bathroom and washing the conditioner out before lifting her out the tub and engulfing her in a warm towel and carrying her to her room. He sat her down on the chair by her vanity and stripped her bedding off and tossed i to the laundry basket. Using his vampiric speed her put clean bedding on and then placed her on top the duvet with a kiss to her head. The towel was taken from her and one of his clean shirts was pulled over her head and he carefully pulled her arms through.

"Alright angel, there you are. Nice and clean my lovely, now we're gonna eat some pasta, okay?" he mumbled, placing her cushioned lap tray onto her lap and then the bowl of pasta and her glass of water. "There we go sweetheart" he smiled softly while stabbing some of the pasta onto the fork and hand feeding her.

Once she ate half of it and drank all of her water he took it away and pulled her onto his lap. His arms circled her and she hid her face in his neck before hesitantly whispering, "Klaus?"

"Yes love?" He hummed, stroking her hair

"I need pants" she uttered and he glanced down, remembering he had only half dressed her.

"Of course sweetheart, forgive me" he replied, quickly grabbing some panties and sliding them up her legs to cover her up. "Perfect" he smiled.

"Thank you" she muttered, looking up at him "I'm sorry" she told him but he shook his head.

"No angel, I'm sorry. I should never have left you all alone." he argued, a frown on his face as he kissed her cheeks and stroked her arms. "You feel like going outside today?" he asked kindly and she shrugged.

He nodded silently and carried her out into the garden, sitting her down on the soft grass so that she was surrounded by the flowers. He wondered over to the strawberries growing a little way over and picked a couple before bringing them over to her with a smile. She returned it with warmth and giggled when he held them to her lips for her to take a bite.

He sat down beside her and pulled her into his side. She lay her head on his shoulder and held onto his hand. Klaus rest the side of his face against the top of her head and watched at the trees swayed in the distance.

"I love you Y/n" he whispered, his voice delicate and airy as the words met her ear. Her hand squeezed his and he smiled.

"I love you too" she told him quietly and he kissed her head, she then lifted it to face him and pressed her lips to his. Klaus felt his expression soften as he kissed her back and interlaced their fingers. Their lips parted and he rest his forehead against hers,

"I'll never leave you alone" he told her.

"You promise?" she whispered, her voice shaky.

"I promise."

[tan1shere]

Bite It Lick It Spit It - where'd you put it (extra)

A/n: thought I'd add a lil smth smth since everyone's loving the previous story, enjoy you horny mfs MUAH 💋

Warnings - suggestiveness not really any smut. Still mdni just in case doe <3

The original - masterlist

After that blissed out night, you've been wearing that underwear. All. The. Time. And she loved it, it drove her mental. Whether you were just wearing a plain t-shirt with them around the house. You'd wear them with skirts in public. You were like an intoxicating drug in her eyes, mind and soul. She truly couldn't get enough.

So much so, you found them missing on occasion. Either they were in the wash, or Ms Eilish had them somewhere in her possession. Theyd tend to go missing when you take them off after a long day. Her fucking favorite. Once you eventually caught on it was her doing the abducting, you came to her. Justtt to ask. Even though you had all the idea on why she did.

"Bils." You say going over to her and patting her down. "Frisky much?" She replies. "Where on earth have you put them." She brings her finger up to her lips. " 's a secret." You roll your eyes. "Billieeee." "Fine fine, they're probably in my pants on the sofa in our room." Your eyebrow raises. "Probably?" She shrugs. "Orrr they could be in a few others- I can't remember which." You sigh at the response. "You're crazy." You say heading for the stairs. "For you? Fuck yeah baby!"

It had become a habit that she'd stick them in her Jean pants. She'd take it to work sometimes forgetting where she was, and the fact she still had them in there until Finneas embarrassed the shit out of her. Or more so herself.

"We could maybe do something like this-" He began to speak about the stuff they were working on, when he noticed something on the floor. He knew Clauds underwear and that was something she definitely didn't own. "What on earth." He bends slightly, picking it up. Billies eyes widen, so incredibly wide her eyes might've popped out. Her cheeks go so red, snatching them out of his hand. Fuck, you dumbass idiot. She swallows. There was an awkward silence wondering how he was going to react. When this dude, let's out the wheeziest laugh known to man.

Billies eyes rest, almost glearing at him. "That is not funny, I can't believe that just fucking happened." He tries to control his laughter. "You truly are a dumbass." She swats his arm but he just continues his giggles. "Back to work come on." She spits, having enough of the laughing. "I was like- hmm Claudia doesn't own anything this-" "FINNEAS." She groans. He just laughs some more, she was never living that down. But Billie being Billie she eventually joins in on the laughing, shaking her head at the silly situation.

Yet again you were on the search for them, looking through most of her pants. You gave up in the end, calling her.

"You have them as we speak don't you."

"Well damn, you caught me."

Even during she needed them. Just the fact such a tight slutty thing was on your body for the whole day drove her wild, she didn't care in the slightest how filthy any action may be. Sniffing them, so on and so on. One of her filthy fantasies was you having them in your mouth, as you rode her. Just dangling there between your teeth. You were a tad bit confused at why she requested that, but the way she'd moan under you. The way she'd say your name. The feeling of her fingertips on the skin of your thighs as you rode her. Mixed in with your tits bouncing in her face. It was foul, but she enjoyed every single bit of it.

She was so thankful you went into that shop that day. Blessing not only you with a pretty pair of new underwear. But her aswel, getting the pleasure of witnessing it first hand.

You're welcome

[qin-qin16]

SWEET SWEET LOVE

Summary: book tropes with Cross, Error and Ink!

cw.: 0.6 k content: sfw, short headcanons, hurt/comfort, everyone gets a happy ending… unless?, depressive thoughts in Error’s part, but nothing extreme!  note: i really don’t know how to end headcanons, but have fun anyway! Error's part was inspired by this post!

Cross - you fell first, he fell harder + dog poetry

You always compared Cross to a dog, one of those who trust in nothing and no one; 

They bark, they bite, they hurt anyone who crosses their path. No one wants to get close to a dog like that; 

However, you began to see more than just that wild layer that Cross seemed to want to display. Behind all that anger, all that hatred towards everything and everyone, the deep envy of happy worlds, you managed to see the pain, the fear of never being able to live happily again after so many sacrifices; 

And, just like a dog, Cross just needed to learn to trust again, and of course, you were willing to be the one to teach him; 

Both of you had to be patient—and you also had to be very understanding during Cross's outbursts of feelings or the moments when he wanted to be alone; 

It wasn't easy, but God, how worth it it was after all this time; 

As you like to say: you fell in love first, but Cross fell harder in love; 

It was like having a poorly trained guard dog: he would do anything to protect you. Bites, growls, endless fights if it meant your safety; 

He wouldn't lose you, not like he lost everyone else; 

And if not losing you meant acting like a dog, he would act.

Error - Soulmates + second chance 

Before Error became, well, Error, you knew him as Sans; 

Souls intertwined across different multiverses, but after a long time, they managed to find each other again — even after Sans' death and his afterlife state (Geno); 

For a long time, you lived like this: a love between a ghost and a living, souls that should not have been separated by death; 

However, something changed. Overnight, he simply disappeared; 

No more gentle touches, no more whispered promises before sleep, no more starry nights where only the two of you were witnesses to your love; 

Any mere memory of him was like digging a hole deeper and deeper, a hole that, no matter how much you dug, seemed to have no end; 

So, was this what it was like to lose a soulmate? 

But even as this emptiness consumed you more and more, something deep within your SOUL would not let you give up, an unknown determination that refused to let you believe Sans had vanished forever; 

And your SOUL was right... well, partly right; 

Sans was indeed alive, but no longer as Sans; 

Again, something happened, and now you found yourself facing Error who, with great insistence, claims to be your former boyfriend; 

And even though your SOUL was telling you that yes, that was the Sans you knew, are you willing to give it a second chance? 

Whether he knows your answer or not, Error would not lose you again.

Ink - Enemies to friends 

Your first impression of Ink was far from pleasant; 

The disgust you felt for him at the moment was only surpassed by anger when he vomited black ink on your new shoes — and to top it off, he barely apologized, just turned and vanished behind another ink stain; 

Obviously, a presence as striking as Ink's wouldn't be easily forgotten by you, and sure enough, when he appeared in front of you again, you wanted to make him eat those same shoes (now permanently stained with ink); 

But to your surprise, he had returned to learn more about your universe (something he would explain much later what it meant); 

As much as you detested the idea of serving as a tour guide for someone like him, an airhead who had no consideration for anyone, you went along with it. After all, the sooner you started explaining how your universe worked, the sooner he would leave;

Through ups and downs, you ended up softening your heart towards Ink. Even though his lack of personal space sometimes irritated you, you could see a certain fascination in him every time he talked about universes and art, and whether you liked it or not, you also felt sorry for him for not having a soul; 

And like a great (new) friend, he even promised to take you to other universes to explore and have fun — what could possibly go wrong?

[mother-ofthe-universedraws]

So you said Bill in Simon’s body can remember being Bull for up to 6 months, what was that like for him? It’s like inevitable countdown to where he couldn’t really considered being himself anymore, but he’s also himself. I just wanna know his thought process during this, not to mention his shock at being Stanley Pines’ child.

He’s got a love-hate relationship with it. Babies are kinda useless when it comes to their ability to do anything, but he does take a lot of pleasure in the fact that all he has to do is scream and Stan will give him anything he wants.

Spoilers for the Book Of Bill, btw;

The idea is that Bill was reincarnated as Simon as a form of exposure therapy; he’s been in the theraprism for centuries by the time this happens, and while he’s been getting better, or at least getting to a point where he’s actively accepting help and trying to change, he still has a lot of unsolved emotional baggage that mostly revolves around his mommy and daddy issues. His parents weren’t great people; while his mum seems to be better than his dad, she still seems problematic. The general vibe that I’ve been picking up from them is that their love for him was very conditional; they wanted him to fit in with the rest of Euclydia to Bill’s own detriment. And even after spending centuries in the theraprism, the damage this did to Bill is still ever-present. Hence the idea of exposure therapy; they’re gonna expose him to unconditional love from a parent.

That’s where Stan comes in; the guy cares about others to the detriment of himself, and never expects someone to change their flavor of weird for anything. What one might consider freakish, he considers special, and all he ever really ask for from other people is for them to care about him too, even if it’s just a little bit. Not to mention the empathy aspect; he knows what it’s like to be unwanted by his own family. He’s kind of perfect for the role of the Good Dad, not to mention that Stan really needed someone in his life who loves him the way Simon does; someone to keep him from being as lonely as he was all his life; Stan needs Simon as much as Simon needs Stan.

Forgetting who he was and becoming an entirely new person is a painful process, but it wasn’t like Bill went into this process unknowingly. He was offered something that could help him, but warned that said help involved reincarnation. He knew the rules and how everything worked when he went into it, but decided that he might as well give this idea a shot, at least for the sake of curiosity than for no other reason. He didn’t know all the details going in, but he knew enough to know that whatever he was doing, it would involve his soul being wiped clean and an entire new life being grown from the ashes. But, by that time he’d been in the prism long enough that he was willing to accept help and try out different methods of getting better.

Simon and Bill are not the same person, but they’re cut from the same cloth. Their personalities and base instincts are extremely similar, as are their interest and quirks.

Being born to Stan is the major shocker, and Bill isn’t very happy about it. He still doesn’t like the guy, even if the intense and bitter hatred has calmed down over time. Bill does have fun “tormenting” Stan just a little as a newborn; he’d scream as often as he could out of spite, and tried his absolute best to keep Stan from getting a full nights sleep. And he does find it rather amusing that all he has to do is scream a bunch and Stan will basically be at his beck and call. He considers it a small amount of payback for the whole “killing him” thing.

He does warm up to the idea of Stan as his father over time. It’s kinda hard not to when the guy’s constantly holding you and giving you attention and love. By the time his days of being Bill are practically over, he’s pretty ok with the idea that this guy is gonna be his dad from now on. Hell, he even has an inkling of faith in the guy; he might consider Stan a failure at absolutely everything, but even he’s gotta admit that Stan’s really good at loving his family. That baby is Stan’s whole world, and even Bill can find some manner of comfort in that fact.

Sorry to go all essay on ya lol. This is something I’ve thought about a lot!

[hyunjilicious]

in human form [bang chan × f!reader]

A/n: this is very, very self indulgent. I always try to make my fics reader inclusive, but since I poured my soul out in this, it's not 100% a self insert. It's not OC either, but some aspects of Y/n past are mentioned - mental health and relationship with her parents. I hope you'll still enjoy it! 🥺

Summary: fresh out of a toxic relationship, you realise your best friend Chan might not be just that, your best friend. Angst (and fluffy and extremely cheesy) best friends to lovers trope. 8.5k (hit me)

Warnings: y/n's ex was toxic, so was her father, mentions of alcoholism (as the source of some of the issues), anxiety, insecurities, past traumatic experiences (not detailed). It's not as sad as I may have made it sound, Chan's a sweetheart and there for you from beginning to end ❤️

For the first time that night, when you felt a hand against your back, you relaxed. "Do you want me to drive you home?" Chan asked, leaning into your side so you could hear him over the loud music at the club.

Aside from the hand that still rested between your shoulder blades, he kept his distance. 

"No, it's fine, thanks" you shook your head but then smiled in appreciation. "I'll take a cab, you don't have to leave"

"Do you want to talk to me?" 

Another offer he didn't have to make - another one you desperately wanted to accept but felt like an asshole doing so.

"I'm annoyed. I don't want to start this right now. We can talk another time"

"I'm here for you" he reminded you, "Please, just let me take you home."

"You don't feel like dancing anymore?"

Chan shook his head. He never felt like dancing in the first place, only came so that he could spend some time with you, but unfortunately the night didn't go as planned. 

"I don't want to ruin your night"

"You're not ruining my night, Y/n" Chan said sternly, "I want to go home too"

"Then why didn't you leave earlier?"

That, he couldn't answer. He knew why, but he couldn't really tell you that the pain you've been struggling to hide has been obvious to him from the very beginning. Instead, he hid his worry behind little acts of kindness, reassuring words and unconditional support, without expecting anything in return. Much like he did now.

"Felt like a party pooper, but you're my ticket out of here. So? Should we go?"

You were unsatisfied with his answer, felt guilty for the way things were going, but you weren't about to make him ask again. "Ok, let's go"

His face lit up hearing your words, it felt like a win which he hoped would be the end of the story, considering that the last time he thought this nightmare was over, this night happened. So, determined to not allow the universe to mess with you again, Chan took a step to the side and motioned for you to lead the way towards the exit. 

And you would've done just that had an overwhelming sense of pain and warmth not washed over you, and instead of moving, you just went in for a hug. Despite being taken aback, Chan wrapped his arms around you instantly, repeatedly kissing the top of your head during the few seconds you spent pressed against one another. 

"Thanks" you mumbled, wiping away a stray tear that fell down your cheek as you pulled away. 

"You don't need to thank-" he began saying but before he could finish the sentence, you felt another hand against your back, one that sent chills down your spine. 

As if burned by the touch, you jumped away and didn't even bother looking at the person before you grabbed Chan's hand and tried to pull him away. 

"Hey, where the fuck do you think you're going?" the menacing tone of your exboyfriend called over the loud music. Even though he wasn't drunk enough to have trouble articulating his sentences, you could still hear the alcohol induced hostility in his tone. 

And as if raising his voice at you wasn't enough, in the blink of an eye he also went to grab you, but even though you were fast enough to step out of his reach, so was Chan as he grabbed the man's wrist and pushed himself between the two of you. 

"Hey, hey, hey! Step back" Chan commanded, not one single hint of uncertainty in his tone. 

"Why?" your ex boyfriend sneered, "Need her?"

Even though a vein was about to burst on his forehead, Chan fought to keep his composure. "Let's not make a scene, ok? Y/n's going home and you're going back to the party. Let's just leave it at that"

"How about this?" he slapped his hands together, "How about you stop sticking your nose in my business and let me have a talk with her?"

"We really don't have anything to talk about, ok?" you tried, but he wasn't having it. 

"Just because we broke up doesn't mean you can go whore around. At least wait a while before you hop on someone else's dick. Or wait! You've done it before, haven't you?" he turned to Chan. "You already fucked her, didn't you? You're the reason she broke up with me?"

"Man, you have no idea what you're saying" Chan rolled his eyes, "But why don't we have this talk another time, huh? This is really not the time and place"

"I agree. So why don't you just step away so I can talk to Y/n?"

"Talk to her?" Chan laughed, "Mate, don't even look at her"

That angered him - you saw it in his eyes and it terrified you. That look of his whenever he had enough to drink so that common sense didn't have a place in his behavior anymore, when limits stopped meaning anything and only his words mattered. 

Under different circumstances, you'd have said this wasn't something you'd ever do, but you felt afraid - viscerally, down to your bones scared, and without thinking, you jumped behind Chan. And while on high alert as he was, even though he might have not seen you, he felt you, the way your hands gripped his shirt and it brought a storm inside his mind. He didn't know what he wanted to do first, break that man's teeth or comfort you, but his adrenaline had kicked in and all that he could focus on was keeping his calm.

"Listen, I've got nothing against you, man. It's her that I need-" and his sentence was cut short by a very calm Seungmin, who with his drink in his hand and the straw between his lips, stepped in between your ex boyfriend and Chan.

"The group's over there" Seungmin addressed the man - fully facing him, and pointed in the direction you just came from, "Why are you all the way over here?"

"Yeah" Felix, who you hadn't noticed until now, nodded along, "We were thinking about going to a different club but we couldn't find you"

They stepped closer to one another, forming a wall between you, Chan and your ex, and bombarded him with questions, pointing in all directions and speaking loudly one over the other. 

There had been maybe one or two attempts from your ex to push past them, but before he managed to escape their pestering, Chan had already grabbed your hand and ushered you towards the exit. 

"Hey, are you ok? What are you doing?" he desperately asked as soon as you stepped on the sidewalk. Seeing you with your nose buried into your phone was the last thing he expected.

"I'm texting Felix and Seungmin" you sniffled, "I hope he didn't start a fight"

"They got this, Y/n, it's ok" Chan said and then tried to get you to move. "Let's go to the car, ok?"

After wiping one more tear from your cheek and pressing the send button on the text you just wrote, you nodded and followed him, "Yeah, ok"

Despite the hurricane of thoughts inside your mind, for most of the drive, you were silent - wanting to say so many things but at the same time, fearing what it would feel like if you yourself were to hear those things being spoken out loud, let alone Chan. 

After your phone buzzed with a new notification, you turned to him, "They got him an uber. He's on his way home"

"Good" Chan nodded and drummed his thumb against the steering wheel. "Fuck him"

"Yeah.. fuck him"

"Are you ok?"

At this hour of the night, the roads were empty enough to allow Chan to steal glances and turn to you, but still you were grateful he was driving - he couldn't fix you with his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"Fine as in fine or fine as in fine?"

You really didn't want to do it, but his question made you giggle. "What? I really am ok, I'm just annoyed"

He looked at you for another second, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what? Complain to you about how big of an asshole he was and about how stupid I am? Where's that gonna get me?"

"First of all, you're not stupid. At all, Y/n. You know that"

"My actions and decisions over the past few months would beg to differ, Chan." you sighed, "It's not his fault he was a piece of shit boyfriend to me, it's my fault I stayed in that relationship for as long as I did"

Too many words, some even a bit aggressive and thoughtless, almost rushed past his lips, but he managed to compose himself with a shake of his head and a deep breath. "I really don't want to be that person, Y/n, but you know traumatic experiences don't necessarily involve heavy and obvious shit. You've never been through something like this before, how were you supposed to know what the right thing to do was? You really did your best with what you had"

"Stop. You're making it sound like I'm some sort of victim or something. There's no trauma. He was never violent, never raised his hand at me or anything, it's not that serious"

"A person doesn't have to be physically violent in order to be abusive"

"He wasn't abusive. Just… toxic. It wasn't that big of a deal"

"If it wasn't that big of a deal, why are you so upset with yourself for being, as you say, stupid about it?"

Ah fuck, a red light. It wasn't like the intersection was that busy anyway, and it got you very close to offering to pay the fine only so that he'd keep driving. But his eyes were already on you, ready to pierce right into your soul the second you met them. 

"What do you want me to say?" you looked down at the bag in your lap. "I don't see where you're going with this"

"I want you to stop being angry at yourself. To stop blaming yourself. To realize you were not the problem. That's all I want"

"If that's really the right way to look at things, it's gonna take me a long fucking while" you chuckled bitterly, tone full of spite and anger. 

But still, Chan's voice was as calm and sweet as ever. "And I'll be here for you until then. And after. Ok?"

You really had no right to be this cold to him. "Look at you being so wise and selfless. Try telling me again that I'm not just a stupid girl who needs looking after"

"Y/n, if the roles were reversed, would you think I was stupid? Would you defend the person that repeatedly hurt me?"

"I'm not defending him"

"That's exactly what you're doing by putting all the blame on your own shoulders. I'm not saying you should crucify him, although I would, all I'm saying is that you shouldn't carry this weight. If he refuses to own up to his shit and try to do better, that's on him, but you shouldn't be the one to take responsibility for this just because he won't do it"

Although the things he was saying made sense from the very beginning, it was getting harder and harder for you to keep up with the conversation. A short period of silence followed where you didn't know what to say, but your ticket out of this tensioned position came at the perfect time.

"Light's green" you said and pointed to the traffic lights after seeing Chan make no effort to start the car.

He blinked for a second, looked in the rear view mirror and then turned to you again, "There's no one behind, it's fine"

"Chan! Drive"

"Y/n, look at me"

There was a very strong reason you avoided his stare during this whole car ride, and it was getting harder and harder to manage your emotions. "I can't"

"Why?" his voice broke a little "It's just me, Y/n, it's ok"

You squeezed your eyes shut and threw your head back, "Please, I don't want to start crying right now, just start the car. Just drive"

And he did. He wordlessly followed your request and drove in silence for as long as he could, but when he reached the intersection next to your neighborhood and had to stop at another red light, he couldn't help himself. "Y/n, do you want to be alone right now?"

"I don't want to continue that conversation" 

"It's not what I asked," Chan softly said. "I won't bug you, I promise. But I'm here if you just… don't want to be alone at home"

"Are you sure it's ok?"

"Of course, I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't"

"You totally would've" you weakly laughed, "You always put other people first."

He didn't know how to tell you that it was you who he was putting first - not other people. Sure, he cared about his friends, but he wasn't doing this because he was a caring person, he was doing this because he cared about you. And on top of that, he hoped that this night he was about to spend with you would be the first one on a long, maybe endless, list of things he planned on doing in order to make sure that you finally realized that, even if you hadn't seen it before, to some, to him, you really did come first. 

After that, Chan offered to go to the drive through two blocks away for some food, but the laziness prevailed. You wanted to get home faster and weren't about to let him go by himself, so as he searched for a parking spot behind your building, you tapped in the order on your phone and placed it before entering your apartment.

While the atmosphere was still somewhat tense, you two managed to enjoy the food and down two liters of tea without any upsetting topic being brought up. 

By the time you decided to head to bed, it was already half past 4. And if Chan had to insist on taking the couch, you also insisted on making it as cozy for him as possible, bringing him 3 different blankets, 4 pillows and an army of stuffed animals to keep him company. 

But while fatigue had already crept up your spine and made your eyelids feel heavy, sleep only circled around you and refused to settle. It was your buzzing mind and hurricane of thoughts that kept the sleep at a safe distance, and it was just a matter of time until you had to get out of bed.

This was why you insisted he took your room, so that now, when you wanted to go into the kitchen, you wouldn't have to walk past him. But since there was nothing to be done about it now, you settled for tiptoeing your way to the sink, filling up a glass of water and downing it in the blink of an eye.

Truth be told, you wanted another tea, but the sound of the boiling water would for sure wake Chan up. Maybe a pudding would do, you thought to yourself as you licked the lid before throwing it into the trash. It was good, your favorite - no surprise since you were the one who bought it, but it didn't do much. Chips? Nah, and even if you wanted some, you forgot to get a new bag anyway. Then.. fruit? But after tea and pudding? Also a no. 

It was getting annoying - nothing to keep you busy so you wouldn't have to return to your room. The one obvious option that was left made you cringe. You wouldn't do that, he had been so nice to you all night, it would be very shitty of you to disturb his sleep. Or maybe… he had been so sweet to you all night, he definitely wouldn't mind being sweet a bit more, right?

So without giving yourself the chance to change your mind, you took off towards the couch, your eyes fixed on his sleeping - or not, frame. The way he raised his arm, along with the blanket, almost startled you.

"Come here" he chuckled, before even looking at you.

"Did I wake you?"

"Nope, I wasn't sleeping" he said and then waved his arm in the air, "Come on"

Your first instinct was again to ask if he was sure about it, but you brushed it off and climbed in beside him, cuddling against his chest as he wrapped his arm around your frame, covering you with the blanket all the way up to your cheeks.

"Thank you" you said, all your muscles relaxing under the warmth of his body pressed to yours. "I'm sorry I was mean to you earlier"

"You weren't mean to me" he shook his head. As a small but strong reassuring gesture, his fingers made their way to the back of your neck and lost themselves in your hair. He lightly scratched your scalp as he spoke. "The conversation wasn't pleasant so you just weren't as bubbly as usual, that's normal. You weren't mean to me, Y/n, don't worry"

"I really wasn't the nicest though"

"You don't have to be the nicest with everyone all the time"

"Not with everyone, with you. You have the biggest heart in the world, I don't ever want to upset it"

"That's ok" Chan hummed, kissing the top of your head, "She understands, you didn't upset her."

"Your heart is a she?" you giggled.

He wasn't going to say that his heart was a she because you were his whole heart - that would've been cheesy, but it was late and the love of his life was wrapped around him, so he didn't judge himself for it, just brushed the thought aside. "I don't know why I said she," he lightly chuckled, "It felt right, I guess?"

Without saying anything, you cuddled closer so that you could press your ear against the left side of his chest. He felt calm around you, but his heart drummed against your cheek and it made you feel closer to him and safer than ever, "Thank you"

"Anything for you" Chan hummed, allowing the both of you to finally relax enough to be able to fall asleep. 

The next morning came and went, neither of you showing any signs of planning to wake up any time soon. A little bit past noon however, maybe around 1pm, Chan started stirring in his sleep. When he opened his eyes and checked his phone, the urge to just say fuck it and remain in your soft embrace almost won. But he had another thing on his mind, probably the only thing in the world that could've ever gotten him to leave that couch. 

For a split second he thought it would be rude to rummage through your kitchen so he stopped dead in his tracks and looked at his shoes by the front door. He could go out and buy the ingredients he needed to make breakfast, but what if you heard the door and woke up, that would ruin the surprise. Plus, in the past, he'd been given free access to absolutely everything in your apartment, why would this morning be any different. 

"Jesus, why am I like this, calm down, it's just an omelet" Chan said to himself as he opened your fridge and got to work.

Shortly after, you woke up too. Disappointment hit him a bit when he realized he couldn't surprise you with food anymore, but one thing he didn't know he needed in his life was a cooking session with you. There were so many little things he didn't know about you, so many things that he was so ready to love - the ridiculous amount of kitchen towels you used, the fact that you washed your hands a hundred times while cooking because who wants to touch the cheese with tomato juice on their fingers, the fact that there was a picture of a random dog you thought was cute on one of your cupboard doors and so on. He didn't have to try hard to find something to make him giddy inside, not when he was so close to this genuine, unbothered and honest version of you.

Once the food was done, you both took your seats across from one another at the table, and the topic of discussion you had just started swiftly melted away in favor of comfortable silence and the occasional utensil clatter.

"Hey, um, can I ask you something?" you questioned as you toyed with a piece of bread on your plate. "And please don't be afraid to humble me in case I'm reaching"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Am I the reason you haven't even looked at any type of alcohol whenever we went out during the past few months?"

Even though he wasn't facing you, instead staring down at his food, you still saw his eyes widen in.. embarrassment maybe? "I um… I hoped you wouldn't notice"

His reaction only made you soften further, a very strange warm feeling spreading from the middle of your chest. "You didn't have to do that, Chan"

"I know I didn't" he nodded and only looked at you for a split second before repeating himself, eyes fixed on his plate. "I know I didn't, you didn't even ask me to, but I wanted you to have that"

"Chan…"

He still wasn't meeting your eyes. "You said you didn't feel safe if everyone around you was drunk, and that's totally understandable, especially since our friend group is mostly guys. And like I know, I know none of them would ever do anything to make you feel uncomfortable or anything, but still… I know you asked your ex not to drink too much when you went out together, but he never listened. I saw he never listened and I saw the look in your eyes, so I don't know… I did the next best-" he stopped to shake his head, "I did what I could"

"Channie" you pleaded, extending your hand across the table for him to take, but he didn't. However, he looked up, met your eyes and continued speaking. 

"Like it's not even that big of a fucking deal

you know? We all have needs, we all deserve someone to listen to us and to care for us, what does he do? Partners are supposed to make each other feel safe and heard and him… fuck him! Fuck him for treating you like that. Fuck him for disrespecting you. Fuck him for making you, you out of all people, a literal angel we're all blessed to have in our lives, look into my eyes and tell me you think you're stupid. Fuck him for getting into your head and making you think all those awful things-"

That was it. You couldn't bear it anymore. You dropped everything you had in your hands and rushed around the table to him, all but tackling him off the chair with the way you threw yourself against him. It was the best way you could come up with to help him calm down, to show him that you were there, and you were ok, and that everything was fine. 

"Hey, Chan, it's ok" you cooed, brushing his hair, "It's ok, can you look at me?"

He did. "I'm sorry I got carried away" he shook his head, "I just… I hate him"

"I know…"

"You deserve someone better. I wish you never met him. And what's worse, what's keeping me up at night, is that I don't even know the full story. What I know is from what I've seen, I don't even want to think-"

"Then don't"

That hit him hard. "God, Y/n.. no.. I'm so sorry, I-"

"It's ok" you smiled and pushed some curly strands of hair off his forehead, "It's all over now, it's all in the past"

"Y/n" Chan shook his head and stood up to face you properly, wrapping his fingers around your wrists. "You know I'm always here, right? Whatever happens, or happened or might happen, I'll always be here for you. You have me, always. Ok?"

"Yeah, mhm" you nodded, teary eyes looking directly into his, "I know"

"You can always come to me, talk to me, anything, ok?"

"Yep"

"Always"

"Always" you nodded again and allowed him to bring you into a hug. 

"And I just wanna say that I know it's just a matter of time until you find someone who will make you happy the way you deserve, but until then, let me be the one to do that"

"Make me happy?" you beamed, looking up at him, "You already make me happy"

"Ok, but like-" Chan chuckled, dimples out and all  "Really happy"

"Really happy? What does that mean?"

"It means we've been so busy with work and life, we haven't hung out as much as we used to. We could start doing that again, and even as just your best friend, I know I can treat you so much better"

You probably should've taken him more seriously, "Like the Shawn Mendes song?"

Chan cringed for a second - not at the song, but at the fact that only now did he realize how cheesy he had been. "Yeah.. like the Shawn Mendes song"

"Can you learn it? And then sing it for me?"

"I, uh… yes, I guess I can"

"No, scratch that, I want a better song. I want a serenade"

"You want me to serenade you?" Chan laughed, most likely thinking you were joking.

"Yes. With a guitar and all!"

"Obviously with a guitar. What kind of a dumbass serenades someone without a guitar?"

"I don't know" you shrugged, "Some people use portable speakers and stuff"

Eyes rolled the back of his head, he pretended to shake off the distaste. "And they say romance is dead"

"But romance isn't dead, so you'll use your guitar"

His tone turned sassy and sarcastic, his hip popping to the side. "Ok, guitar. Noted. Anything else you want? Strawberries dipped in chocolate? Roses?"

"Um.. yes!? To both"

For a second he looked surprised but then jumped back into the game. "I'm writing these down, I'm not kidding" he warned, taking his phone off the table and opening the notes app. 

"Good" you moved closer to look at his screen, "And, urgh, I don't know if I want you to wear a suit and tie or a leather jacket"

"Please don't make me wear a suit," he begged.

"Ok, suit and tie. Write it down"

"Write it down" he mocked you while he did as told. "Anything else?"

"Candles!"

"Ok, candles, noted"

"And bring Berry"

"Ok, Berry.." he typed. While you had a few more ideas as to how to keep this charade going, Chan was on a different page. "I'm aware that this is just a joke, but you know I'd actually love to do all of these for you, right?"

"I know" you confessed, your attitude swiftly changing as you melted under his sweet and caring gaze. "I actually do know you'd do this, and a lot more for me. But you really don't have to, not like this, not just because it's something that I'd like but haven't gotten in the past. Maybe someday, under a different context, but please, don't feel responsible for this right now"

"I don't" he wholeheartedly shook his head. "I don't feel responsible for this, and I'm not gonna do it. But if you do wake up one morning and feel like it, just let me know, ok?"

"Yes, ok" you giggled and wrapped your arms around his waist. "Thank you"

With his arm around your shoulders, he pressed his lips to your forehead. "Anything for you"

-

5 weeks later

The dishes were done, the trash had been taken out, your kitchen was spotless and so was your living room. And while never in your life had you ever allowed any of your guests to help you tidy up after a party, tonight had been different. Chan lingered around after everyone else had left and cheerfully helped you clean up the place, despite the clock having already struck 4. 

A small part of you still felt bad for keeping him around at that hour, but a bigger part of you was happy to still have him around.

You didn't mind being alone, but you wanted him around. That was why once you were finally done making your apartment look decent again, the second Chan dared look in the direction of where his jacket and shoes were, you instantly spoke up. 

"Ah, Channie! You're not that tired, are you?"

"Nuh-uh, no. Not really" he lied through his teeth. His eyes were half closed, his shoulders slumped and even standing up felt like a tedious task. But just like you, he didn't want to leave either. "Why?"

"I-um-" you struggled to come up with something, "Could you maybe take a look at my laptop? It's been acting funny"

Just as bad of a liar as he was. But he found it funny and didn't even hesitate before agreeing. 

He sat on the couch and waited for you to bring your laptop, which you placed on the coffee table in front of him. "What's wrong with it?" he questioned, unable to hide his knowing smile.

"I don't know" you grinned too but in pure amusement with your antics, "It's acting… funny"

"Really? Let's see"

And just so as luck had it, the laptop was working perfectly fine. "How did you do that?" you pretended to gasp. "You fixed it!"

"I did?" he chuckled, "Magic hands, I guess"

"Yeah… probably. But I think you should stay for a bit. What if it stops working again?"

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" he hummed and then you noticed his eyes slip to the clock at the corner of the screen. 4:43am. It snapped you out of it in an instant, what the hell were you doing?

"Actually, I don't think I'm gonna use it tonight anyway. If it starts acting up again tomorrow, I'll call you. You can go, Channie. Thanks anyway"

"Can I stay anyway?" he asked and your heart nearly dropped. "Hang out for a bit?"

"Aren't you tired?"

"I am but.. I don't want to leave"

"Ok" you softly said and then fought to look anywhere but directly into his eyes. "There's some ice tea left, would you like some?"

"Mhm, sure"

Part of you expected him to refuse your offer, but you were glad he didn't. It was what most of you had to drink that night, an ice tea - soju combo you found online that turned out to be even better than expected, and now, the last remaining cups of it were on the coffee table as you settled back on the couch next to Chan. 

He sipped his drink in silence, a telltale sign that something was on his mind. It was obvious he was hesitant. "Just say it" you giggled, "There's something on your mind"

"I was just… I wanted to ask, but I don't know if I should"

You knew what he meant, or at least thought you did. "Ask me"

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to"

"You haven't said anything" you reminded him, "I don't know if I want to talk about it or not"

"Y/n…"

"Chan…" you rolled your eyes in the exact same way that he did, which made him playfully nudge your shoulder. 

"Are you ok with me drinking right now?" 

"Yes! Of course! I thought you drank earlier too”

“I did, I did… I just wanted to make sure”

“It’s fine, Chris, don’t worry” you smiled and leaned into his side for a second. “I offered you the drink. And even if I hadn’t, I told you, you don’t have to stay away from alcohol at all times just because of me”

“I know…” he said, his eyes instantly falling down to his hands. “I just don’t know the whole story and I don’t want to do something by mistake and make you feel uncomfortable”

“Channie… stop, no, don’t go there. I don’t want you to feel like walking on eggshells around me. I promise I’ll tell you if there’s ever anything, but you could never make me feel uncomfortable”

“I don’t want to push you if you don’t feel like talking about it but I’ve been dying to ask” he softly said and all you did was blink as a sign for him to continue. “When or like, how did this all start?”

“Um..” you took a deep breath. You knew it would come up, that he’d eventually gather the courage to ask, and you dreaded the fact that you let things get so far before telling him. “It’s not really that big of a deal, I think I make it seem like a way more serious thing than it actually is”

“You can still tell me, you know I always want to listen to you"

“I know” you smiled and met his calm eyes. He was patient, gathered into a ball on the couch, waiting for you to speak. He wasn’t going to pressure you or dismiss your feelings, he looked at you with adoration in his eyes, all the patience in the world, all just for you. “I.. I don’t feel comfortable around drunk people because I feel like they’re unpredictable. And unfiltered, I guess. It’s wrong of me to assume, but I can’t help but fear that everyone is going to act like that when they get drunk. And I’m always afraid that in case they say or do something that bothers me, they won’t listen when I try to talk to them, that they’d keep doing their thing no matter what I say. That was why I wanted my ex boyfriend to stay relatively sober when we went out together, so that I’d have someone to turn to in case I felt overwhelmed. Funny-” you chuckled bitterly, “He was the only one who acted like that whenever there was alcohol around. Everyone else is just more giggly and prone to start dancing out of nowhere”

“I’m very sorry he never listened to you, Y/n”

“That’s ok, it’s all in the past now. I like to think that if I ever find myself in a similar situation again, I’ll at least know to get out faster. I promised myself I’d never allow a person like this in my life, but I did, and that made me feel really bad about myself. So, baby steps, I guess”

“Why did you promise yourself that before?”

You sighed. “It was my dad. He used to drink a lot back when I was younger, always looking to start fights and all that. He’s the reason for a lot of my anxieties, but blaming him is not gonna get me anywhere. I’m just trying to do my own thing”

“And you’re doing a really good job, Y/n” Chan said. 

“You think so?” you giggled, the weight of the topic making you more inclined to show your emotions, no matter how much you’d have liked to keep a strong front.

“I really do” he nodded, “And I love to see it”

“You know it’s thanks to you, right?”

“It’s not thanks to me, Y/n” Chan rolled his eyes and opened his arms for you. “Come here”

After setting your drink down, you crawled closer and cuddled into his chest, your head tucked right under his chin. “It is, because you gave me everything and never expected anything in return. I barely felt comfortable enough to be myself when I was alone, but you made me feel safe enough to realize that maybe there’s nothing wrong with me, that I can accept myself and that maybe other people will accept me too. And at the same time, I realized that I don’t really care what other people see in me or not, because you see me and you like me just the way I am, and that’s a big deal to me.”

When you stopped speaking, you couldn’t see him. You had your cheek pressed against his chest and even though you were able to feel his heart rate quicken, you didn’t think much of it. But when he failed to answer, you quickly turned your head to look at him. His glossy eyes met yours, bottom lip popping out as he struggled to keep himself from letting out more than he considered appropriate.

“I just really, really love you, Channie” you said past the heavy lump that was building in the back of your throat. “And going back to what you asked me earlier, no, you could never make me feel uncomfortable. Not that it matters much, but the last time I saw you drunk, you spent one whole hour reading the truth or dare cards and laughed your heart out by yourself and then you went to sleep. But even so, I think I’m past the point where it’s about what you say or what you do, it’s just… you. I love you” you said again and squeezed him in your hold, arms tightening around his frame until your joints hurt. It made him chuckle and his head fell forward, along with a little, stray tear that landed on your shoulder.

“I love you, Y/n” he tried to whisper, as a pathetic attempt to hide the way his voice trembled. But you heard it, you felt it, and in return, only smiled as you looked up at him.

"You're my person"

"I'll be whatever you want me to be, so then I'll take it, I'll be your person" 

"No, you don't get it" you laughed and cuddled back into the cushions so you could face him as you gathered your knees to your chest. "You are my person. I always considered my roommate to be my best friend, and I always thought my partner should be my half. But it's still always been you, the one person I run to and the one person I always want to talk to. I guess that never sat right with me." as you spoke, your tone got progressively lighter, until a giggle escaped, "I guess I need you out of my life so I can move on"

"Hey!" Chan's face suddenly got serious. He nudged your knee, fixed you with his stare and pointed a finger in your face. "Don't say that"

But you did, you said it, and were ready to say it again. It was a dumb thought, you knew that, but still, you couldn't shake it. It had been in the back of your mind for too long, popping up at the most inopportune moments, but this wasn't one of those. Now you were being honest, getting stuff off of your chest, and if there was a moment to say this out loud, it was now. 

"I'm serious" you leaned your temple against your closed fist and looked down, "I don't want this to sound like a 'reject me so I can move on' type of thing, but I do look for you in other people. And I know I'm not gonna find you there, but I still get disappointed when I don't" 

"But why not me? Why look for me in other people when I'm right here?" 

"Don't say that" you cuddled closer into yourself. "I thought about it, of course I did. And I wanted to make a move, more than once, but we wouldn't work. This isn't right"

While he looked hurt by your words, there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes - in the way he looked at you, as if he was one step away from having it all and was determined to fight for it. "Why do you think that?"

"I already feel like a leech, but it's one thing when you're just my friend. I don't think we'd have a very healthy attachment. You pieced me back together, and I love that - for myself. But it wouldn't be fair to you. You shouldn't have to constantly do that for your partner. At least not when they can't do the same for you"

"Y/n" he said in a serious tone, his eyes fixed on yours. "You can't possibly believe that"

"It's true, though"

"No, it's not. Just because you've been through a difficult time and I've been here for you, doesn't mean you haven't been there for me too!"

"Yeah, but I haven't done anything any of your other friends wouldn't have."

"Well then" he began speaking and struggled to hide his grin. "Why did you do all of those things for me if you knew I had others who could do them?"

"Why?" you frowned. "Why!? Because I wanted to. Because I wanted to be-" but then it hit you. "Oh shut up!" you exclaimed and stood up from the couch, your feet involuntarily leading you towards the kitchen. "I'm not having this conversation with you!"

"Y/n! Come back here!" Chan laughed out loud and jumped to follow you, all a giggle as he caught up with you. He placed his chin on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around you from behind, his chuckles even more uncontrollable now that he had seen the flustered look on your face. "You're my person too!"

"Chan, stop it" you giggled and hid your face behind your palms.

"Who let's me sleep over because they know that if I'm alone I'll spend the entire night working? Who's the first one that gets to hear my songs? Who do I call crying when I miss home? Is it you?" he chuckled, "Is it? The way you come over every single time I tell you I miss my family. Remember that one time you had some work to do, but you still came over and we haven't talked for hours because you were busy, but just the fact that you were there, with me, put me back on my feet? Y/n, look at me"

You shook your head, overwhelmed and completely confused by the hurricane of emotions swirling around your chest. 

"You're my home, you dumb ass" he kissed the side of your head. "It's funny to me that you didn't know"

Itchy on the inside and too fired up to stay still, you wiggled your way out of his hold and turned to face him. "How was I supposed to know?" you threw your arms up in frustration, eyes glossy as you giggled your way through the sentence, "You never told me, you idiot"

"Was it really that effortless for you? To be everything I ever needed?"

"Oh, shut up!" you scoffed, the tears now threatening to spill down your cheeks. Again, you tried to hide from him, but Chan wasn't having it.

"Come here" he hugged you again, "I love you"

"Leave me alone" you cried, face hidden in the crook of his neck. 

It might have looked like he found it amusing, but he too was overwhelmed. His little chuckles were nothing else other than a sign of all the admiration and awe he felt inside when he looked at you, of the warmth around his heart as you clung to his hoodie like your life depended on it. 

But eventually you pulled away. "Ok, I'm done. I love you" you wiped your tears and turned to leave, "But I'm also done with this conversation"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Chan exclaimed, not missing a beat before caging you in between his arms and the counter behind you. "All these years I thought my feelings were one sided, today I find out they aren't, that you feel the same way, but then you tell me you don't want to do anything about it?"

"Basically"

"Y/n!" he laughed in despair, "Come on. Give me one good reason we shouldn't be together. Just one"

"I- I don't have one. I'm just scared"

"Of what?" Chan asked softly, "It's just me. You know me"

"I don't know" you lied. "It's scary. You make it scary"

"I make it scary?" he gasped. 

"What if I fuck up?"

"What if I fuck up?"

You scoffed. "Yeah, right"

"Love, at this point, you're just being delusional. I have no idea what's going on inside that head of yours, but I'd love to find out. Tomorrow. Now it's the buttcrack of morning, I've been dying to kiss you for god knows how long and you're just standing here, spewing nonsense as if you're not the most amazing person I've ever met."

"I'm sorry" you looked down.

Chan tiled your chin back up so you'd look at him, "Don't be sorry, just trust me"

"I trust you" 

"Then, can I kiss you?"

And a little nod was enough. And no matter how nervous you might have been, his hold, like so many times before, drained the worries right out of your mind. And the awkwardness - ever present whenever you kissed someone for the first time, especially someone you cared about, barely managed to make its presence felt. Because at the end of the day, nothing was new. You may have never kissed him before, but the intimacy was familiar. You knew his touch, how he felt, how gentle he was and how much he cared. Only now, you got to experience that through a kiss shared in your kitchen, while the sun was rising, after you opened your heart for him and he still craved you as much as ever. 

And while in a way it felt cathartic - the release of so much pent up emotion, it was still frustrating. You couldn't get as close as you wanted no matter how hard you pressed yourself against him, and you couldn't get enough of his taste despite going at it until dizziness took over. 

It was hard to pull away for air when the kiss itself felt like breathing. 

The sun was already up and at the top of the sky by the time you opened your eyes. You had probably gotten around 5 or 6 hours of sleep when something stirred you awake. 

Excited to wake up for the first time in ages, you didn't care what interrupted your sleep, you just stretched over to the other side of the bed, and frowned when you found it empty. 

But then there it was again, the sound that woke you up. The neighbors, you thought, climbing out of bed. 

The reasonable thing to do was head to the bathroom, fix your hair a little, maybe brush your teeth, but there was something else on your mind and you went to look for it. 

"Chan?" you stopped dead in your tracks in the middle of the hallway, one hand rubbing your squinted eyes. "What are you-"

"Ah, fuck" he looked up at you, like a child caught red-handed. He didn't move, just sat there in his spot on his knees by the door, unable to come up with a way to word an explanation. He hoped you'd understand it yourself.

It took you a second but the details started coming one by one - the suit, the tie, the guitar against the wall. There were rose petals on the floor. And under Chan's arm - the source of the sounds that woke you up - Berry fidgeting and yelping, desperately trying to wiggle his way out Chan's grip and over to you. 

"Chan, what is this?" you scrunched your face at the itchiness in your nose and furiously blinked at the way your eyes suddenly started stinging. 

"You, uh… weren't supposed to wake up yet"

"Chan, what the fuck is this"

Wordlessly, he put Berry down and stood up. 

The dog sprinted at you, tail wagging as his little paws clawed at your legs. All you could do was pick him up and squeeze him to your chest, sinking your nose in his soft fur as a way to ignore everything else. 

"You don't like it," Chan simply said. It probably should have been a question, but the insecurity inside his chest made it sound like a statement. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

"Don't like it?" you mumbled, walking towards him as Berry still worked on greeting you with some well deserved and hungry licks all over your chin, cheek and jaw. "Chan, I-"

"I also got candles," he pointed to the kitchen table, "And strawberries. And there's chocolate too"

You walked over and spotted the bowl, full of chocolate dipping cream, covered with a plastic wrap. "Did you make this!?"

"No, no… I would've- I really wanted to, but there wasn't time. I asked Felix"

"You asked Felix?"

He responded with a shameful nod but then jumped to clarify. "I didn't tell him what I needed it for, I- I said it was just for fruit in general. I didn't want to tell anyone anything until I talked to you first, especially because I was a little bit pushy last night, so if you want me to leave, I'll leave-"

"Leave!? Pushy? No, you weren't pushy, stop it"

He breathed out relieved. "Ok, good, because I could barely sleep last night, I- I felt like I forced you to kiss me and I felt so bad, but you were already asleep and I didn't know-"

"Oh my god, no" you shook your head and launched yourself at him, a tight hug with Berry squeezed in the middle. "You didn't pressure me to do anything, relax"

And while the embrace felt good and homey for you, Chan didn't mirror your emtions. He was still on edge, only half of his grand plan having played out yet. "There's still the song, I promised I'd serenade you"

"You learned a song for me" you melted, "What song?"

"You haven't heard it before"

"I haven't?"

"No, because I wrote it. It's about you. For you. I wrote it when you first joked about all of this, I wrote it all that night, and I've been dying to play it for you ever since then, but now I'm so nervous, I think-" he tugged at the collar of his shirt, "I think I'll combust"

While in awe with everything happening, you weren't quite happy. "But I don't like this, Chan. You put so much effort into this and I haven't even washed my face. Can you give me a second? So I don't look like-" you gestured up and down your body, "this"

"You know… I feel like I've been so cheesy and over the top this morning, that I don't think one more cliche is going to make that big of a difference."

As you switched Berry from one side to the other due to your arms growing tired, you raised one eyebrow in confusion.

With nothing but admiration in his eyes, Chan smiled, "You have never looked more beautiful to me"

Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!! 🥺 feedback makes my day so I'd love to hear what you thought!!! ❤️❤️

[pinkypromisepascal]

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚙𝚝. 𝙸𝙸 (𝚍𝚋𝚏!𝙷𝚘𝚙 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

read part one here!

summary: your parents have their date night and you stay with Hopper, hoping your crush on him won't get you into awkward situations

content: a bit of angst, reader's kind of driving herself crazy, age gap (reader's in her 20s, Hop's 40), MDNI for your own sake

author's note: thanks again to @strang3lov3 for helping me make sure this fits Hop's character! Hope you all enjoy this one as much as the first part! I'm a sucker for feedback, so don't be afraid to share your thoughts on this! And ff you want to be tagged in the next parts, let me know in the comments!

After Hopper left, you headed to the librarian with three books you had settled for. Luckily, all of them were available for you to keep for up to two weeks. You walked back home and couldn’t help the ridiculous smile on your lips. You shook your head as you thought about it. How were you supposed to spend an evening with Hopper when you were most definitely attracted to him and you didn’t know each other that well? It wasn’t like you didn’t know Hopper at all. He became close with your dad when you were around seventeen; he’d come around sometimes after work for a beer or your dad would just talk about him sometimes. And then of course there were those evenings where he’d stay over for dinner or for long talks in the living room with your parents. On most of those occasions, you’d just sit nearby and listen or hear them laughing when you were in your room. Hop wasn’t a stranger, he never really was. He was good company when he was around your parents, despite his serious countenance. But what did Hopper really know about you? You weren’t sure how much they’d talk about you, you didn’t see much reason for going beyond the casual “How’s the kid doing? Doing good? Good”, because let’s face it, there was no genuine interest behind it. Most of the time at least.

You thought back to the barbecue a few days ago and how Hopper had seemed anything but not interested in you. He even remembered that you studied art history and wanted to know what you wanted to do after finishing college. You told yourself it’s because you were a grown up, and it’s always easier to talk to adults.

At home again, you tried to think about the upcoming day as little as possible. Everything was going to be okay and not awkward. "So, what're your plans for tomorrow, sunshine?", your dad asked during dinner. You just shrugged with a smile, "Just gonna make myself a nice day, try to get some work done, take a walk, and just… see where it takes me… I even have a place to crash for the night so you can have the whole evening to yourselves here." "Oh yeah? What poor soul's letting you stay over night?", your dad joked. You stuck your tongue out at him. "Actually, it's Hop who…I'm staying with. Ran into him in the library today.", you said after you had cleared your throat, a warm feeling creeping through your body as you said it out loud. Please don't let this get awkward. "Then at least we're sure you're in good hands.", he chuckled. You silently let out a breath in relief and smiled back, "Yeah, I guess." "He's a good guy, sweetie, he's just a little rough sometimes." You didn't know what to answer anymore, so you just nodded, hoping for a change of topic.

You went to bed with a racing heart. You knew it was silly to act like that, to be so nervous, but you couldn't help it. Spending an evening with Hopper. As you were laying in bed, you kept thinking about it and noticed that part of you really wanted to impress him, to make him like you. You wanted to get to his sweet side. The more you thought about and conjured up mental images of what an evening with Hopper could be like, you realized how touch-starved you felt. You were yearning for a gentle touch, a hug. A kiss. Maybe.

The next day, you took your time to sleep late and just try to get yourself worked up as little as possible. No reason to stress yourself over something so simple, right? No reason. You made breakfast for yourself while your parents were at work and took a long shower. After that, you packed your backpack and got ready to leave the house. You walked through Hawkins and took your sweet time to get to your destination.

Just like Hop had said, you found a spare key under his doormat as you reached his trailer. You picket it up and unlocked the door. You took a quick scan around the trailer and noticed a note on the kitchen counter.

You smiled as you read the note. You checked the time and saw that you had four hours to yourself before Hop would be home. You looked out the window and watched the sun shine on the lake. You didn't pack a swimsuit, but there was no one else around here, so why not just go for it? You thought about it for a few more moments as you stepped outside on the balcony, letting the sun hit your face and warm your whole body. This is nice, you thought. You looked at the water again. After a few seconds, you went back inside and grabbed a towel from your backpack and headed outside to the dock.

You took off your shoes and unbuttoned your jeans. Before taking them off, you looked around to see if anyone was near. Lucky for you, you were all by yourself. You stripped down and set all of your clothes aside. You walked to the edge of the dock and sat down, letting your feet hang in the water. The temperature felt okay, not really warm, but not too cold to go in. You carefully lifted yourself forward, slowly sinking into the water. You took a sharp breath and shrieked a little as the water reached your stomach, always the most sensitive spot. Once you were completely in the water, you got accustomed to the temperature soon and smiled to yourself as you swam. You let yourself float on the back for a while and closed your eyes, listening to the sounds of the water around you, shutting out everything else. After what felt like hours, the sun got shielded by some clouds, taking some of the warm feeling from you. You opened your eyes with a sigh and decided it was time to get out again. You swam back to the dock and heaved yourself up. Back in the trailer, you headed to Hop's bathroom, towel wrapped around you and your clothes bundled up in your arm. He did tell you make yourself comfortable, right?

Back in the living area after a quick shower, you checked the time again. You still had around two hours until Hop would be home.

You grabbed your backpack and took out one of the library books before you plopped down on the couch and made yourself comfortable. You looked over the table of contents and flipped through the book till you reached a chapter about compositional patterns, mainly focusing on renaissance paintings.

Despite your focus on trying to grasp information that could be useful for your paper, you noticed that your mind kept trailing off into daydreams. You tried to shake them off, but found yourself re-reading the same paragraph multiple times before you put the book down and rubbed your eyes with a groan. You looked around the living area, trying to get your focus back. You looked at the kitchen, an image of Hop cooking popping up. You chuckled to yourself, he didn't seem like he'd cook much, not to mention that he probably wouldn't enjoy it. In your imagination, Hop would be trying to cook something he hasn't tried before, burn something because he forgot to stir and then just give up and get some fast food, grumpily eating it on the couch you were now lying on.

As you thought about it, you realized how domestic this whole situation felt. Spending time at Hop's place, waiting for him to come home from work so you two can have dinner and a nice evening together? Under other circumstances considering your age and Hop's connection to your father, this would feel like somewhat of a relationship. Your heart jumped a little at that. God damn it, you thought and rubbed your eyes. You wondered how Hop felt about all of this. Did he feel weird about having you at his place for the night? If he did, he wouldn't have said yes when you asked him, right?

You shook your head and turned your attention back to the book. To try and clear your mind, you decided to just flip through the entire book and find something that genuinely interested you instead of trying to focus on something you felt you had to read to keep yourself busy. You searched for paintings that caught your eye. There had to be something on these five hundred pages, right? After a while, your eyes fell on a painting of Hero and Leander by Salvator Rosa from 1645. The text on the side gave a summary of the mythological story behind it.

Hero was a priestess of Aphrodite and fell in love with Leander when they met at the festival of Aphrodite. Though both of them feared their love wouldn't be approved by their parents, Leander kept swimming to her sleeping quarters, guided by a lamp Hero would light for him every time. During a storm, the light was blown out, Leander lost orientation and drowned. Upon seeing the dead body of her lover, Hero decided to take her own life.

You looked back at the image of the painting, studying it. The sky and water looked dark and tumultuous, maybe also reflecting Hero's emotions as she looks at Leander's lifeless body. You kept looking at it as their tragic story replayed in your head. A forbidden love with a tragic ending. Your mind drifted off again. Would it be forbidden and tragic to be with Hopper? To get involved with him? You weren't even sure if you were really looking for a relationship or if you were just looking for anything that gave you a feeling of… of what, exactly? Love? Safety? Being treated right?

You thought back to your latest dating "experiences" if they were even worth to be called that. During the semester, you had been talking to a guy from one of your classes. You had been studying together, gathering your notes from the lecture together in a café on campus and actually having a good time. You had even had dinner together a few times, and he had always insisted on paying, telling you that you were so smart and always worked so hard, you deserved some free dinner. One night you were drinking together and you almost had sex in his dorm, until you had been interrupted by a roommate tumbling in. It had ruined the mood to say the least. You had put your clothes back on and left without another word. He hadn't even apologized or offered to meet up again some time. Right after the exam you had studied for, he just ignored you, made you feel like you didn't exist, as if none of those nights had happened.

Before you could sink any more into those memories, the front door opened and Hopper stepped in. He looked at you with a kind of surprised expression, as if he had forgotten you'd be here. "Hey", he smiled as you looked up at him from the couch, "Comfy?" You nodded, but didn't say anything. "You okay?" You rubbed your eyes and nodded again, "Yeah, just… a little tired, I guess. I've been daydreaming." Hopper walked over to you and looked at you, "Doesn't really sound like you were having good daydreams. Sure you're ok?" "Yes, I'm sure", you said with a little smile as you looked at him. He was so close right now, this whole situation felt unreal. "But I kinda don't feel like going to Benny's. D'you mind if we just stay here? I feel like never getting up from this couch again." He gave you a sympathetic smile and nodded, "Sure, whatever you want. But don't expect any masterpieces out of my kitchen." "I could see what you got and make us something", you suggested with a quiet voice, "Although I remember you telling me I'm not making dinner." "Make yourself at home but keep your expectations low, sweetheart. I'm gonna go take a shower real quick, take your time with everything." You chuckled and got up to take a closer look around the kitchen. You opened a few cabinets and the fridge. "How's some carbonara sound to you?", you called out as you took out the stuff you'd need.

After dinner, Hop cleared the table and took care of the dishes, insisting you wouldn't do anything else but relax, you were his guest, after all. "Want a drink?" "Sure. Whatcha got?" "How about this whisky?" "Is it as good as the one we had last week?", you asked, leaning against the opposite side of the counter he was standing at. He placed two glasses on the counter and leaned closer to you as he opened the bottle. "Let's find out", he said, almost a growl in his voice.

A few drinks later, you were both standing on the balcony. Hop was smoking a cigarette and looking out on the lake. You, on the other hand, were just looking at him again. Studying his face, his body language. He seemed relaxed, even more relaxed than when he had come over for dinner. You wished you could just lean into him, lean against him as he stood there and just be close to him. The background noise of the lake faded out a little, you were just standing there, leaning against the railing and looking at the man in front of you. You didn't even notice him turning his head back to you, studying your face just as much as you did his.

"You're staring", you heard him say softly. You snapped out of your little daydream, your expression turned into a sad smile as you looked at him. He still had that same warm look. "Sweetheart, you don't look okay. Everything alright?" You nodded and shifted to look out at the lake, "Yeah, no, I was just… lost in thoughts." "You can go to sleep if you're tired." "I'm not tired." "You sure?" "Pretty sure." "What's got you zoning out so much, then?" Your heart started beating faster, warmth rushed through your body, making your hands sweat. You looked at him again. He stepped a little closer to you. You could feel warmth radiating from him. "I know that look, y'know…" "What look?" His lips twitched and he breathed out, smoke coming from his nose. He studied your face carefully to take in any reaction he'd find. "You've been looking at me in some way… I'm not sure what it is, but something's… making you look at me a lot." You didn't answer, you just looked back out on the lake, focusing on its sounds, on the crickets chirping, on the sound of the water moving around. Hop took another small step forward and put a hand under your chin ever so gently, turning your head to make you look at him. He was so close. You could feel his breath on your face as he looked down at you, his blue eyes staring deep into your own.

"I wasn't sure if it'd be a mistake to let you stay here for the night." "Why am I here then?" He snapped his cigarette away and took a deep breath. He cupped your face with both hands. "Because I like you. And I want you to feel comfortable around me. I don't want you to feel weird…" It felt like time had stopped. You were just looking at each other. Hop's warm hands on your face, his body so close to yours, and his eyes so blue, even during the dim light of sunset. "But I won't take advantage of you, sweetheart… If something happens between us, I want you sober, okay?" "But I'm not-" "I know you're not drunk, but we've both had a few drinks and whatever would happen if I got any closer to you, you'd wake up tomorrow and regret it." You felt tears build up. Your breath hitched and your face heated up. Your heart wrenched. You just wanted to feel him, to touch him, anything that would soothe this aching feeling inside of you. You leaned closer until your foreheads touched. "Don't cry", he whispered. You felt him hesitate to move his hands. As if he wanted to pull you into a hug, but decided against it. "Y'should get some sleep. You look exhausted." You wiped your eyes and nodded, slowly withdrawing from his hold. His eyes never left you, they were fixed on you.

You headed inside, Hop followed you. "You okay with the couch? We can switch if you want." You shook your head as you took a blanket he had put there before dinner. You looked at him with a small smile, "Take the bed, old man." He chuckled quietly and cupped your face again to press a small kiss to your forehead. "You'll regret calling me that", he said before walking out of the room. A few minutes later, the world was quiet again. Just you in the living area, Hop in his bedroom, and the feeling of his lips on your forehead still lingering. You had a hard time falling asleep. You curled up under the blanket, trying to get Hop off your mind for at least a few hours. He had caught on to you. He'd caught you looking at him, he knew something was up. He had felt so warm when you were standing so close on the balcony, his big hands gently holding your face, his blue eyes luring you in.

Did he feel the same attraction as you did? Or did he just care about you in a platonic way? On the other hand, he had said that if something happened between you two, he’d want you sober. Did that mean he wanted something to happen?

You didn’t remember how long you’d been awake when you woke up. The sunlight was hitting your face and you rubbed your eyes before opening them slowly. You took in your surroundings, only remembering where you were after a few seconds. It was quiet. Not a single sound to be heard. No shower running, no one walking around or talking. You looked over to the kitchen counter and noticed something on there. You got up and walked over; it was another note.

You sighed. Take your time with everything, it echoed through your mind. You looked out on the balcony, the memories from last night coming back. This is getting ridiculous, you thought. Your crush on Hopper was getting ridiculous.  But that didn’t stop you from taking the note and slipping it into your backpack before gathering the rest of your stuff and heading for the door. Before leaving, you took the key that he had left for you out of your back pocket and put it on the counter.  As the front door clicked behind you, your heart sank. One part of you wanted to go back to last night, back to the moment on the balcony, and just stay there, having him look at you the way that he did, staying close to you, neither of you talking.  The other part of you wanted to forget that moment and what happened after that.  You tried to shake these thoughts off as you walked home, hoping that spending some time with your parents would make it easier to handle your feelings.

tags: @lizmaximofff @mrshopper84 @poppyrose33 @malasxlenguas (for some reason I can't tag you, sorry!)

[emeraldhaven]

Celebrating You and Only You

V hated birthdays.

Another tick of the clock towards inevitability, a step towards the end of a life she loved so very much. She didn't hate them purely because of this of course - she also didn't like the expectations that came on a day like today. Gifts, parties, celebrations of her life which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't all that important. She'd much rather head out on her bike, drive by some Tyger Claws or Maelstrom and fry their brains to a crisp using her cyberdeck than have to accept gifts from her friends that, bless their souls, would be trying to make this year a "year to remember".

"Jesus V - could you be any more depressin'? Cheer up, live a little!" Johnny whined, appearing on the sidewalk beside V. He was looking wistfully over the Watson community centre, leaning on the handrail exactly the same as she was.

"C'mon Johnny, you've been trawling through my memories, you know why I don't like today." V said, looking over to see whatever Johnny was also looking at. She didn't really see anything other than a few people drunk or high stumbling along the sidewalk. She breathed in deeply, held it and closed her eyes, the stale Night City air burning her lungs, then dropping her shoulders and breathing out slowly, her hand gripping tightly onto the railing.

Johnny shook his head and scoffed, pushing off of the railing and crossing his arms.

"Hey, I'm not sayin' you need to like today, just at least visit the people who care about you most. Quit bein' a little shit and make people feel like you appreciate their efforts."

V sighed. She really didn't want to go and see anybody today, but maybe Johnny was right - maybe she ought to go see some of her friends? Taking out her phone, she opened up the contacts menu and scrolled down, tapping on So Mi.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang, and rang.

"Huh. Why isn't So Mi picking up?" V wondered. It's quite unlike her little Songbird to not pick up the phone when she called, given everything that happened between the two. Granted, she'd just come back from her little trip up to Tycho, and any kind of operation is going to be taxing on somebody - maybe she wasn't feeling up to chatting?

V tried to contact her other friends: Kerry went straight to voicemail; Judy was on do-not-disturb; Panam was "out of cell range" - whatever that meant; River was "at work". Tapping her phone against her chin, V hummed out loud some familiar tune that was stuck in her head whilst she thought why every single person she could possibly want to hang out with was suddenly completely unavailable.

She hears a ping from her cellphone - it's a photo from So Mi and it's of the front door to her apartment. The caption reads:

"Come home."

V's heartrate shoots up - what does she mean, come home? Songbird has no idea where her apartment is, she'd never gone there during the whole Dogtown event, instead staying at the various safehouses that Reed and Alex had set up. It was a worrying thing for So Mi to know both where she lived and that she was there - it wasn't a particularly safe megabuilding.

Hopping on her Kusanagi, she turned the key and kicked off the pavement, pulling the throttle hard and speeding off to her home. After some incredibly reckless driving (Judy calls it "literally asking for trouble"), she arrives in quite possibly the shortest amount of time it's ever taken for her to drive across Night City. V practically jumps up the entire flight of stairs in front of her block, somehow leaping up 4 stairs at a time to reach the elevator, barely even registering the small red-electrical glitch on the TV screens, and once it arrives at the top sprints towards her apartment door and opens it.

The first thing V notices is that it's too quiet. Taking a quick scan around her apartment with her eyes, she can't see anyone and even her Kiroshi's aren't registering anything out of the ordinary. It takes one, two, three steps into her home before anything happens. A red glitch takes over her vision; quite similar to how the Relic would give her trouble, but she feels completely fine; until it all starts to clear and…

"SURPRISE!!" A loud cacophony of voices and cheers and party horns and poppers go off, showering her in a sea of noise, warmth and a shocking amount of confetti. V blinks away the odd bit of static to see all of her friends standing before her: Panam, Mitch, Judy, Rita, River, Kerry, Misty, Reed, Alex, Jackie, Viktor, Takemura and right in the middle as though she was illuminated by the stars themselves, So Mi holding a cake with the cutest little artistic (and quite edible) depiction of V at work, Mantis Blades in hand.

"Guys, you didn't have to do all this!" V exclaimed, shocked that they could have even set up something as elaborate as this without her really knowing.

"V, choom, we wouldn't have had it any other way." Jackie said softly, walking over and placing a hand around her shoulders. "Now kick back, relax and grab a cold one - it's time for celebrating you, and only you, today. None of this back and forth shit."

V looked up at Jackie and back towards her friends, her eyes starting to well up from all the emotions. She started to see all the little details - the cake, the small pieces of ribbon around the apartment, the bunting celebrating her 24th birthday, and all her friends dressed up and here for her. It wasn't something she was used to, but it was definitely something she could grow to enjoy.

As the party started, Jackie left V to go talk to Viktor and Takemura about some boxing thing that V didn't really know a whole lot about. She walked over and sat down next to So Mi, dressed in an immaculate jacket and jean combo that was quite similar to what her Relic-form had actually looked like. She was stunning, truly a beautiful woman in her own right, but since she got back from Luna she had this sparkle in her eyes that made V's heart flutter.

"Hey V - didn't see this one coming did you?" Songbird smirked, her soft lips accented in a beautifully red lipstick. V felt almost unable to take her eyes off of them, flicking down between her two newest vices: Songbird's eyes and lips.

"Uh, um, n-no no I didn't actually. How long have you known?" V stuttered.

"Ha! Well, it was a combination of everyone really. I got back from Tycho and, well, I got contacted by Panam - something about you not really having a lot of time celebrating your birthday in the past?" So Mi took a sip from her drink, lips wrapped around the straw in her cup.

"Ah I shouldn't have gotten drunk and chatted life with Panam - didn't realise that I'd have left something like that slip." V chuckled. "What was your little part to play in all this, Song?"

"The whole fact you couldn't see anything - hooked into the Relic and altered your visualware for the whole effect. Might have spruced other things up, as well, but y'know that's just for personal fun." Song couldn't have looked any more smug, nor more beautiful given that it seemed like, to V at least, that she was literally glowing.

"You're beautiful." V muttered, completely unaware that she'd said that out loud.

Songbird blushed a deep red. "Thanks V, that means a lot coming from you." She started to play with the top of the typical red cup she was holding.

V's eyes widened and her own scarlet blush creeped across her face, the tips of her eyes going ever so slightly pink. Taking a swig of her drink, she placed her hand on top of So Mi's, their pinkies ever so slightly hooking onto the other's.

"No, thank you Song - for all of this. I really, really appreciate you being here, and I'd want nothing else." V smiled softly at So Mi, flicking down to her lips again. She suddenly got quite aware of how close they were actually sitting on the couch.

"V… I-"

"Hey V! Come check out this sweet new gear that Judy's got!" Panam called over, rushing to grab V's arm and pull her away from Songbird. V looked back guiltily at Song, mouthing out "I'm sorry, talk later!" towards the redhead who smiled back and nodded in return.

The party would continue into the late night, and one-by-one people said their farewells and see-you-laters until everyone had left except for Jackie and Songbird.

"Alright V, I'd best be off - got a cute date with Misty in the morning, and I don't wanna miss it." Jackie said, slapping his legs and standing up. V walked him over to the door and hugged him.

"Thanks Jack - I had a preem time today." V said, choking on the last few words and giving Jackie another hug before he left.

"And then there were two." Songbird chuckled, lounging back on the couch, heels off and feet up on the couch, arms outstretched over the couch's spine.

"Well it was one at some point right, back when you were just a cute ghost in my head?" V chuckled, the room slightly swaying. V stumbles over and flops down onto the couch, falling right into the space between So Mi's side and her outstretched arm. V's back is suddenly warm, the machinery within So Mi's body heating up as the alcohol within their systems work independently, but seemingly together.

So Mi wraps her arm around V's chest, slowly stroking her abdomen, fingers raising and dropping at the curves of her abs. "Mmm - only a cute ghost? I seem to remember a certain someone thinking quite a lot about other things that involve the 'cute ghost in her head'." So Mi giggled, squeezing softly.

"Would be a gonk ass move to think too much nowadays though; pretty sure I was getting quite visceral feedback myself." V looked up at So Mi, gazing back into those captivating eyes. "Couldn't help it, Song, you had me when you invited back to that bench."

So Mi hummed, a multitude of thoughts, feelings and pure emotions coursing through her head. As her heartbeat ramped up, the whirring in the motors in her spine lowly increased, and V noticed.

"Not gettin' too mushy on me, are ya' Song?" V giggled back, placing her own hand on Songbird's, the dark glow of both her apartment and Night City from her window illuminating the two.

Songbird shook her head and then slowly, softly and with the most care anyone has ever given to V, leant down and kissed the top of her head. Burying her nose in the plushness of V's soft, delicate stained-red hair, she exhaled in complete comfort.

"No V, I'm just as mushy and as happy as I want to be right here, right now, with you. Spending as much time as I can while we still have it to spend in whatever ways we want. Happy birthday, V." Songbird murmured, closing her eyes.

Taking a minute, V calmed her screaming heart and said quietly: "It's, um, it's Valerie. My real name is Valerie."

"Then happy birthday Valerie - you deserve it." Songbird affirmed.

V hummed happily, sleepily planting an ever softer kiss on So Mi's hand, entwining their fingers and drifting off, her eyelids fluttering closed as the comforting embrace of Songbird enveloped her in her wings.

Maybe V didn't hate birthdays after all.

[ruinedsam]

Gadreel!Sam but Sam is still seeing Hallucifer so Gadreel has to deal with the constant presence of the angel who tricked him and led to Gadreel being imprisoned for millennia. And if it really is a part of Lucifer’s Grace as well? Ooh boy, not only is Sam going through it, but Gadreel knows this is actually part of his most despised angel and Gadreel cannot do anything about this because it’s never ever going away, he can’t tear Lucifer’s Grace out of Sam because his body would literally combust and his soul will be dragged back to the Cage. And Hallucifer is still willing to throw hands over this upstart possessing his vessel while Gadreel, who up until then hadn’t really displayed any actual emotions regarding Sam, has decided he and Sam will be best friends as two people screwed over by Lucifer and Sam will be his emotional support vessel and he’ll be Sam’s emotional support parasitic angel when it comes to Lucifer. I also think Gadreel should be the person on Sam’s side when it all comes out that Dean tricked him into saying yes, and we get an explicit parallel to Lucifer getting Gadreel to let him into the Garden; Gadreel, literally the angel responsible for Sam’s current situation, comes over to Sam and says he understands how Sam feels, it’s like when Gadreel realized what Lucifer did as the Serpent. But back to Hallucifer, I think it would be neat for Gadreel to constantly be around this guy and in contrast to how Lucifer is mostly not-hostile to Sam nowadays or is always trying to convince Sam that “no really, Lucifer is his real family so how about we give this vessel thing another go,” Lucifer actively despises Gadreel so we get scenes of Lucifer near sympathetic to Sam and bizarrely making comments about how at least he never memory-wiped Sam during his possession (which Gadreel of course wipes Sam’s memory of) and let Sam be aware of what was happening (and planned on making Sam feel his brother’s bones break at his hands but semantics) and then scenes of Lucifer all but hissing at Gadreel and acting like he want to rip him apart. Imagine being Gadreel, you want to be redeemed so badly you’re even willing to possess the Boy with Demon Blood and unlike most of your kind, you feel kinda bad for the guy because you too have made a decision you thought was good only to learn you’d been manipulated and the world is 10 times worse as a result so really you’re the absolute best option as an angel to heal him, only to discover the guy is constantly seeing the angel who led to your imprisonment and whom he has a weird dynamic with that is “you tortured me and are the reason for pretty much everything that went wrong in my life, but I see you all the time so I have to adjust or I will break beyond repair,” and this angel hates your guts and wants you dead for having the utter audacity of possessing his true vessel while he is in the Cage. The existential crisis of knowing even the most hated angel hates you

OMG YES!!!! Make that tangled dynamic between Gadreel, Sam and Lucifer more complicated and twisted!! 

Gadreel wanting to hide from the other angels who are after him because he let Lucifer in the garden only to end up in a vessel where a part of Lucifer is still residing! Something something about how you can’t escape from (the mistakes of) your past...

Gadreel and Hallucifer having a pissing match over who wronged Sam more even though they both violated him in horrific ways <3333 Truly delicious 👀👀I always wanted Lucifer and Sam to talk about Gadreel in S12/13 because I was SURE Lucifer would be like “at least I didn’t trick you :/”

[dottielovegood]

Anything. Everything.

@elriel-month : Happy Solstice

This fic is based on the following prompt from @freepandahugs:

elriel with secret messages, where elain keeps sending little dirty messages to azriel while he is away in the cabin for the snowball fight 🤭 bonus points if smut ensues once azriel gets back

(I obviously went for the bonus points) Warnings: Explicit. NSFW. See tags on AO3 Word count: 6738

Azriel 

When Rhys told Azriel to stay away from Elain, he really did try to follow the order. He didn’t do so gladly, but he did it nonetheless. He might have filled a few snowballs with rocks during their annual snowball fight, but if Rhys understood why he did that, he didn’t let it show. And later that same day, he gave away the necklace he had bought for Elain, even though he regretted doing so just moments later. He just couldn’t keep it. He just couldn’t have one more thing reminding him of her. The vial of headache powder on his bedside table was enough of a reminder of what, and who, he so desperately wanted. 

It took him one week to grow resentful and one more week to question why Elain couldn’t choose her own fate. He didn’t really care much about himself – he never had, but Elain deserved better. She deserved a choice. It took a few more weeks to gather the courage he needed to talk to her about that night. He had behaved like an idiot and was fully expecting Elain to tell him so, but she didn’t. Of course, she didn’t. Because she knew. She had seen it. She had seen that he would come back to her. 

“I see many things, Azriel,” she had told him when he came to her room that night. “I just never know exactly when they will happen, so I’ve been waiting.”

“Waiting for me to beg your forgiveness?”

“There is nothing to forgive. Even though I am angry at Rhys for taking away my voice, I do understand him. He is afraid, and he needs to know that we will be here if anything were to happen to him. I don’t know Lucien very well, but I do not think that he would ever do anything to harm me or anyone in this court because of tradition, especially not an Autumn Court tradition. But if it will lessen the burden that Rhys has to carry at this moment, I am fine with keeping us a secret. For now.”

“You are a much kinder soul than I will ever be,” Azriel had murmured as he took her face in his scarred hands. “I might have filled my snowballs with rocks during our Solstice snowball fight.” 

Elain rolled her eyes and placed a hand over his heart. “Now I understand why Feyre calls you Illyrian babies.” 

Ever since that night, they had spent as much time together as possible. It wasn’t easy, seeing that they had to hide their relationship. After a few months, Elain moved into the Town House under the disguise of wanting more independence. In reality, it was the only way they could see each other without risking anyone finding out about them.

It was now one year later. One year, and no one knew about them. Well, the twins knew, and Azriel was quite certain that Cassian was getting suspicious, but apart from them, they had managed to keep their relationship hidden. 

This Solstice, they hadn’t been able to spend the night together either. Everyone had stayed at the River House and they had been forced to resort to stolen glances and careful touches all night, something so familiar yet foreign to them now. Azriel couldn’t wait to have Elain in his arms again. He had been away on a mission and had arrived home in Velaris just in time for Solstice dinner and even though it had only been little over a week since they last spent a night together, it felt like a small lifetime. Every single moment without Elain felt like an eternity. His life was better, brighter, with her in his life. So yes, he was aching to go to her, but first, he had a snowball fight to win. 

Azriel hadn’t thought much about that first message. 

When he woke up in the guest room in the River House, he found a small handwritten note on his bedside table. It smelled like jasmine and honey and he was quite impressed that she had managed to get it into his room without him noticing. During the last couple of months, she had been training with him and the twins and she often joked that she would steal the title of spymaster from him soon. Azriel had never felt more proud. 

I can’t wait for you to come home to me. My bed feels so cold when you’re not there. I miss you. 

He smiled at the note. Home. She was his home now and there was no place he’d rather be than with her. His entire soul was begging him to go to her room and take her away so they could be together. If it had been any other day, he would have done just that. It might seem silly that a Snowball fight was one of the most important days to three Illyrian males, but it wasn’t just a snowball fight. It was tradition. It was family. When Rhys had gone under the mountain all those years ago, Azriel and Cassian hadn’t been able to keep the tradition alive. They had gone to the cabin once, but it had felt all wrong without Rhys there. Everything had felt wrong when their brother had sacrificed himself for his court. Azriel and Cassian had left the cabin after just a few minutes and promised each other that they would stay away until Rhys came back, and that’s what they did. For almost fifty years, they waited for him to return, and when he did, Azriel promised himself to never miss a single snowball fight ever. What had once started as a silly game between friends, had now become one of his most cherished traditions. Even when Rhys pulled rank and meddled in other people’s lives, Azriel still showed up, and this year would not be different. Yes, he wanted to spend time with Elain and yes, he was aching to feel her soft body against his, but he also wanted to spend time with his brothers. 

And, in all honesty, he wanted to win. No, he needed to win. 

He couldn’t imagine a greater feeling than returning home to Elain after winning the game. 

It should be easy to win, Azriel thought. Rhys has a small baby and Cassian can’t spend more than ten minutes away from Nesta. Part of Azriel’s strategy this year was to play to their weaknesses - they would surely be tired and distracted. 

However, Azriel hadn’t accounted for Elain and how distracting she could be, even when she wasn’t there. 

The second message was not as subtle. 

Somehow, Elain had managed to put a small package in his bag that contained a cinnamon roll (his favorite) and another note. Luckily, he found it when he was alone in his room. 

I hope this tastes as sweet as I do. 

There he stood, next to the bed he had slept in so many times over the centuries, holding a cinnamon roll, thinking about the taste of Elain. He wanted to send her a message back telling her that nothing could ever come close to being as sweet as her. As so many times before, he wished that he had daemati powers, even though he probably wouldn’t be able to reach her when she was so far away. And once again, he hoped that the day would go by quickly. He was already planning on tasting her thoroughly once he made it back home. 

The third message wasn’t really a message, unless you knew what to look for. 

Elain had been given a book on the language of flowers for her birthday that year and, after reading it, she’d decided to teach him about how people used to send secret messages through flowers once upon a time. It had started out as a sweet way for them to send each other secret messages - a pink camellia to express longing when they hadn’t been able to see each other for a while, a white tulip to ask forgiveness when he had done something stupid, a bouquet of yellow flowers to show how happy he was that she was in his life. It was sweet and innocent most of the time. 

This flower was not innocent though. 

As he crouched down behind the wall of snow he had built to cover himself, a small, white flower fell out from somewhere in his clothes. He had no idea where it came from, but there was no question about whom it came from. 

Jasmine. The scent of her. The scent of home. 

In the snow, the small flower was almost impossible to see, but Azriel saw. He noticed. He knew. Not only was Jasmine the one flower that reminded him of Elain - of home. It was also the flower that represented love and desire. It was the flower Elain would give him when she wanted him to take her to bed. 

The small flower made him lose his concentration for just a moment, but a moment was all it took for Cassian to sneak up and hit him square in the face with a massive snowball. Roaring with laughter, he ran away just as Azriel bent down and crushed the flower into a giant snowball of his own. It was only fitting to aim for Rhys.

–-

Azriel lost the snowball fight. He hadn’t been able to get Elain out of his mind. He really should have insisted on them spending the previous night together because now he was not only aching for her, but he was also in a pretty bad mood since Cassian had won the snowball fight twice in a row now. Last year, he only had himself to blame but this time, Elain was definitely to blame. At least a little. 

He couldn’t wait to get home and take his frustrations out on her. 

Only a few more hours, he thought to himself as he undressed and reached for a towel. 

Once again, he was very happy that he had decided to go to his room before joining the others in the birchin. Cassian had shouted something about being a sore loser and licking his wounds, but in all honesty, Azriel just needed a moment to himself in order to try to get Elain out of his thoughts. He couldn’t very well sit in the birchin while thinking about the fact that Elain desired him and wanted him to come home and taste her. He couldn’t sit there, naked, while imagining how he would get down on his knees and worship her body for hours as soon as he got the chance. 

The fourth message, if one could even call it a message, was everything but subtle. 

When Azriel unfolded his towel and a small piece of lilac fabric fell to the floor, he knew that he wasn’t joining his brothers anytime soon. He bent down to pick up the lacy underwear Elain had somehow managed to sneak into his bag. It was the underwear he had bought her a few weeks ago on a trip to the continent. The underwear she had worn for approximately five minutes before he ripped them off her body and fucked her on the bedroom dresser. And against the wall. And on the bed. 

It had been a great night. 

Azriel curled his hand into a fist around the lace. “That little tease,” he muttered under his breath as he promptly started to dress again. Elain had him wrapped around her finger, and even though Azriel would never admit it, he loved it. 

She had sent him a very clear message, and Azriel was not going to make her wait for a response. So without saying goodbye, he stepped into a shadow and winnowed back to Velaris. Back to Elain. Back to his heart. Back to his home.

Elain

Elain was curled up in her green velvet armchair in what had once been her bedroom at the Town House. She now shared this room with Azriel, even though no one knew about it. They usually kept to this room, just to make sure that his scent didn’t linger if someone came to visit. She was reading one of Nesta’s books - the ones no one thought a good girl like her would ever enjoy. Except for Azriel, that is. He knew what she liked. He might have even known her preferences better than she did. Ever since that night when he had come to her to beg her forgiveness, he had shown her that she had no idea how good she could feel. Had shown her just how attuned to him her body was. Just thinking back on that night had her toes curling. 

She missed him. She hadn’t spent a night with him in far too long and her body was aching for him. She missed his touch, his tongue, and all the wicked things he did to her. She missed the way he could make her forget about all her troubles and the way he took care of her - not only sexually. When he was gone, she felt like a piece of her was missing. She knew that he felt the same, which is why she had left a few messages for him to find. Just the thought of him finding all of her little notes and gifts had her grinning to herself. Gods, she couldn’t wait for him to get home.

Little did she know that she was about to him sooner than she thought. 

She felt him before she saw him. There was something tickling her foot and when she looked down, a single shadow had curled itself around her ankle. She smiled at the unmistakable proof that he was nearby, though she didn’t move. She didn’t greet him. No, she only continued reading. Or she tried to, at least. It was a bit difficult to concentrate on the words when her entire body was suddenly more awake than it had been in days. She had to resist the urge to drop the book and look to the balcony where she was certain she would find him watching her. 

She could almost feel his eyes on her and when he sent another shadow to caress her hand, she couldn’t hide her smile any longer. “You’re home,” she said without lowering the book. She knew that he could tell that she wasn’t reading. She hadn’t turned the page since the first shadow had curled itself around her. Elain heard him come into her room, but he stayed by the balcony door. When she finally lifted her gaze to meet his, he was leaning against the door frame, his eyes set intently on her. She tried to ignore the fact that a lacy piece of fabric hung from his fingers. 

“I just came to return these,” he purred and lifted his hand. Elain had to bite back a grin. 

She eyed the underwear that she had put in his bag a few hours earlier. “I’m glad you received my messages,” she said sweetly. 

His eyes were burning into her and she could almost feel the heat as he dragged his eyes over her body. “And what message was it you were trying to send?” 

“I thought it was obvious.” She tried to play it cool, even though she felt everything but. Her entire body screamed at her to go to him. To press herself against his body and beg him to touch her. She needed his hands on her more than she needed oxygen. 

“Was it now?” he asked, his voice dangerously low. “I would say that the messages were somewhat conflicting. So please, indulge me.” 

“I just wanted you to know that I missed you.” It was the truth, even though she had wanted to tell him so much more. 

“Uh, huh.” His shadows seemed to vibrate around him. He closed his hand into a fist around her panties. 

Elain swallowed, “And that I was waiting for you to come back,” she continued. 

“And?” Azriel took one step toward her and sent another shadow to slide along her body until it came to rest around her neck. Suddenly, she forgot how to breathe. She had to press her thighs together to relieve the ache building there. 

“And that I wasn’t wearing any underwear.” She smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back. He held her gaze as he stalked over to her. She had to crane her neck to look at him when he stopped in front of her. 

“Did you win the snowball fight?” she asked with feigned innocence. 

He regarded her for a moment, his arms crossed over his chest. When he spoke, his voice carried a tone of warning. “I did not.” Elain could feel her smile waver. “In fact,” Azriel continued, “I received one of your messages during the fight.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. That hadn’t been her plan. “Oh?” 

“Don’t act all innocent.” Azriel bent down and put one hand on the armrest. His face was so close to hers she could taste his breath. “You made me lose the fight, Elain,” he whispered and Elain could feel a shiver run down her spine. 

She had no idea why he cared so much about a snowball fight. Where she came from, only children played in the snow. But she knew that he was competitive, almost to the point of obsession. No matter the game - Azriel needed to win. He needed to be in control. Elain hadn’t imagined him losing the fight. When she prepared her gifts for him, she had counted on him winning. She was so certain that he was going to win, and that he would want to celebrate his victory with her. In bed. She had imagined that he would find her messages sweet, if maybe a bit cheeky. But if she had made him lose the fight - she was quite certain that he didn’t find them endearing. 

“And these,” Azriel continued and held up her panties in front of her. “They made it quite impossible for me to join the others in the birchin.” For just a second, Elain let her gaze drop. In the darkness, she couldn’t see if he was hard, but she knew that he had been. That just the thought of her had made him leave his brothers and come back to her hours earlier than planned. She had made him lose control. 

Azriel didn’t like it when things didn’t go according to plan. Suddenly, Elain didn’t feel as confident. She had known exactly how this would play out if he won – but now, when she knew that he lost because of her – all bets were off. She felt nervous, although part of her felt excited. There was a thrill in not knowing what Azriel would do with her. To her. 

Azriel had never been a gentle lover. Ever since their first time together, it had been obvious that he needed to be in control even in the bedroom. Elain didn’t mind. Gentleness was not something she needed. People had always been gentle with her; her sisters, her parents, Graysen – they had all treated her like a flower made of glass. Too delicate, too fragile – that’s all she was to them. Azriel was the first to truly see her. He was the only one who understood her needs, even before she understood them herself. She had come to crave his control – his darkness. The way he would devour her with his eyes and then worship her body until she was begging him for more or mercy – it was better than anything she could have asked for. Outside the bedroom, Azriel was a gentleman. The same could not be said when they closed that bedroom door though. 

“My eyes are up here, angel,” he mused and Elain felt herself blush. He put a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him again. “Always so desperate for me to touch you. Couldn’t even wait until tomorrow.” His lips ghosted over hers. “Do you think you deserve to be touched? You did make me lose the snowball fight, after all.”

Elain wanted to roll her eyes, but she also wanted to come tonight. Sometimes, when Azriel had his wicked way with her, he could keep her on edge for hours and she definitely wasn’t in the mood for that tonight. Instead, she decided to play along. 

“Are you going to punish me because you lost a snowball fight?” she tried to make her voice a bit breathy – hoping to sound innocent. 

There was a hint of a smirk playing on Azriel’s lips. He knew what she was doing. “Do you think you should be punished?” he asked, his lips just out of reach. She wanted him to kiss her. She needed him to devour every part of her. 

“If that’s what it takes to get you to touch me.”

When she finally felt his lips against hers she wanted to sigh in relief. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and pull him down to her. She could feel him smile and she parted her lips for him, but he never kissed her. He just kept his lips on hers, barely even touching. It was maddening. 

“Please,” she breathed. She didn’t know what she was asking for, she just knew that she might die if he didn’t kiss her. 

“Please what?” he teased. He always did this. Always made her use her words to ask for what she wanted. 

“Please, anything just– I’ve missed you. I need you.”

“Need me to do what?”

Frustrated, she put her hand over his heart and fisted the black fabric of his shirt. “Anything. Everything.”

Azriel chuckled and grabbed her wrist. “Dangerous words, love.”

“Please,” she begged again. She licked his lower lip, hoping to finally get a reaction from him. 

“So desperate for me,” Azriel teased. With a firm grip on her wrist, he loosened her hold on his shirt. “Always begging for more.”

Elain just nodded. Yes, she wanted more. So much more. She was going crazy. How could he be so calm when she was burning up? 

“Go stand by the bed.”

Before the words even had a chance to register, he had pushed himself off the chair and was once again standing over her, his arms crossed and his expression serious. She knew that they were playing - that this was part of the game. Yet, when he looked at her like that, she wanted nothing more than to please him. When he looked at her like that, she would do anything just to try to get him to lose control. Anything. Everything. 

Elain stood up on shaky legs and walked over to the bed. When she turned around, she found Azriel leaning against the wall again. He still had her panties in his hand. 

“What now?” she asked. 

“Strip.”

Elain started sliding the straps of her nightgown down her arms. Slowly, enticingly. Her eyes never leaving his. When she let the fabric fall to the floor, Azriel lost his control for just a split second. His nostrils flared as he took in the scent of her and his eyes burned a path down her naked body. 

“Well, you weren’t lying,” he murmured, his eyes focused between her legs. Elain fought the instinct to wrap her arms around her body. 

“Get on the bed.”

Elain quickly did as she was told. She lay down on top of the covers and kept her eyes on him the entire time. She felt exposed. She needed him to cover her. “And now?”

A smirk played on Azriel’s lips as he watched her. Her heart was beating fast and the anticipation of what was to come made her even more desperate. She kept her legs pressed together and her arms lay stiff at her sides. She expected him to come to her now, but he stayed exactly where he was. He did nothing, said nothing. Elain could do nothing but wait. 

Azriel’s was covered in shadows and Elain could see a dark tendril slithering over the floor. She shivered when it reached the bed and started to make its way up her body. The feeling of his shadows on her skin was foreign yet familiar at the same time. They were neither warm nor cold, neither smoke nor solid. Yet she could feel them twist and curl around her legs, her arms. Her neck. One shadow came to rest around her neck and Elain arched into the feeling, letting her head fall back into the soft pillow. Azriel had always loved her neck. Always made sure to give it extra attention whenever they were together. On more than one occasion had she been forced to wear a scarf to hide the marks he so lovingly left on her skin. 

Elain tore her eyes away from Azriel for just a moment and looked down at her body. She was covered in shadows. When she tried to move her arm, she was surprised to find that she couldn’t. “Azriel,” she gasped when she realized that the shadows were pinning her to the bed. 

“You look beautiful like this,” he said, his voice low and full of wicked promises. “Covered in my darkness.” 

Elain whimpered when she felt one of his shadows move up her inner thigh. She had no idea what his shadows were made of, but they seemed to be vibrating against her already sensitive skin. They had never done this before. His shadows were usually nowhere to be seen when they were together like this. She didn’t know what to make of it, she just knew that her body was begging for more. 

“Please,” she breathed, her eyes pleading with him. This was the sweetest form of torture. 

Azriel’s eyes darkened and she could see him reach for something on her dresser. “Already begging?” 

“Yes.” If it pleased him, she would get down on her knees to beg him to touch her. She would do anything if he just made her feel good. Azriel walked over to the bed and Elain breathed a sigh of relief. He was finally giving in. Finally giving her what she needed. 

“Open your mouth,” he ordered. She turned her head to the side and opened her mouth, expecting him to unfasten his trousers and put his cock between her lips. She held his gaze as he stroked a finger over her jaw and caressed her lower lip with his thumb. “So eager,” he murmured.  “So beautiful.”

A shadow slipped over her eyes just as Azriel’s fingers left her skin. She didn’t have time to feel surprised before something was pushed into her mouth. It was soft. Some sort of fabric. Maybe…

Elain could feel herself blush when she realized what Azriel had done. 

Her panties. He had put her panties in her mouth. She couldn’t speak. He had gagged her with her own underwear. If she hadn’t been so turned on, it would have been humiliating. 

At the same moment, he put something cold in her hand. She wasn’t sure, but she thought that it felt like her hairbrush. “If it’s too much and you can’t speak, just let go of the brush and we’ll stop.” 

Azriel removed the shadow over her eyes and Elain found comfort in the warm brown eyes looking down at her. “Nod if you understand.”

Elain nodded and hummed. 

“Do you want to stop?” 

She shook her head. 

“Good girl,” he purred, and Elain almost moaned at the praise. If someone would have told her a year ago that Azriel had the dirtiest mouth in Velaris, she wouldn’t have believed them. Nor would she have believed that she would melt like butter every time he praised her. 

Azriel took a step back again, his eyes ravenous as they took in the way his shadows slithered over her body. When his eyes found hers again, he smiled at her. It was a wicked smile and Elain loved the promise behind those dark eyes of his. He was giving her exactly what she asked for.

The shadow between her legs started to move again and Elain pressed her head back into the pillow and closed her eyes, trying to savor the sensation. 

“Eyes on me,” Azriel commanded. “I want to see what I do to you.”

Elain whimpered as she met his gaze again. “Don’t forget, drop the brush if you want to stop.” 

That was all the warning she got before she felt another shadow at her entrance. She was so wet, so needy. When the shadow pushed inside of her, Elain gasped in surprise. She had no idea how this was happening. She didn’t understand. All she knew was that she was covered in Azriel’s darkness and that she was, quite literally, fucking a shadow. The shadow filled her slowly and the sensation of being so full while the other shadows caressed her body had her moaning. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. All she could was feel. She felt the shadow move inside her while another shadow tightened its grip around her throat. The sensations were both too much and not enough. She wanted to beg again but she had no words. He had taken her words and her body and all that was left was him. His shadows. His darkness. His eyes staring right into her very soul. 

She had no idea how much time had passed when Azriel finally spoke again. It could have been minutes or hours - she didn’t know. Didn’t care. 

“Do you enjoy getting fucked by my darkness?” his voice was dark, almost sinister. 

She nodded and tried to answer but all she could manage was a muffled sound. 

He chuckled and reached into the shadows. She felt his fingertips on her knee. It almost burned her skin. “I was going to come to you tomorrow,” he said and moved his finger slowly up her thigh. “I was going to bring you breakfast in bed and fuck you slowly for hours.”

Elain moaned again when she felt his fingers tease between her folds. “But you couldn’t wait, could you?” Azriel stroked her clit with two fingers. “You had to send me that flower.” His fingers traveled lower. “You just had to put your panties in my bag.” She tensed when his fingers circled her entrance. “Were you trying to get me to come home early?”

Again, Elain tried to answer but the words never made it out of her mouth. 

Agonizingly slowly, Azriel pushed one finger inside. The shadow that had filled her disappeared and she whimpered at the loss and the new sensation. The shadows spread her legs to give him more access and Elain wanted nothing more than to move into his touch. 

Azriel’s finger stilled and he slid one knee between her thighs. His other other hand came to rest beside her head and Elain reveled in feeling his weight on her. She breathed in his scent of night-chilled mist and cedar. He smelled like home. Azriel dipped his head and she could feel his breath on her ear. “Message received,” he whispered just as he pressed another finger into her aching core. She moaned around the lace. The way he curled his fingers just right had her seeing stars. Azriel groaned and lifted his head again. His hazel eyes focused on her for just a moment before he leaned in and took the lacy fabric that hung out of her mouth between his own teeth. He held her gaze as he slowly pulled them out of her mouth. He dropped them beside her head and Elain managed to take one single breath before his mouth was on hers. She could feel him growl as he deepened the kiss and started fucking her with his fingers. She moaned into his mouth and felt herself clench around him. She wanted more. Wanted all of him. 

“Please,” she begged breathlessly against his lips. “Please, I want all of you.”

“You have all of me. Always,” Azriel murmured against her lips. He teased her lower lip with his tongue and she parted her lips to let him in. She melted into his kiss – into his touch. Azriel’s fingers brought her to the edge over and over, but every time she was close, he slowed his movements or changed the angle. She knew he was doing it on purpose. Elain let out a frustrated growl and fisted her hands in the fabric of his shirt. She didn’t even realize that she had moved until she heard the brush she had been holding fall to the floor.

The shadows disappeared and Azriel stopped his movements immediately. He withdrew his fingers from her, which was the opposite of what she wanted. She hadn’t meant to drop the brush, it had just been too much and not enough and she needed him closer. 

“Are you okay, Elain?” He asked, concern painted all over his beautiful face. “Do you want to stop?”

Shaking her head, Elain pulled him down until she could whisper in his ear. “I don’t want to stop. I want more.” Her voice was low and full of desperation. She was quite certain that she would go mad if he didn’t let her come soon. “Please, Azriel. Make me feel good.”

With a growl, Azriel crashed his lips to hers again and moved his body over hers. He was still fully clothed but she could feel just how much she wanted her. Elain reached down and palmed his cock over the leather. Azriel grabbed her wrist and pulled away from her. When their eyes met, she could see both fire and shadows in his. She loved everything about Azriel, but there was something so wonderfully forbidden when he was like this. Here he was, the spymaster, the male who never showed his emotions, burning for her. She had never felt so powerful before. 

“Get on your hands and knees.”

Azriel stood up next to the bed and Elain let out a shaky breath before pushing herself up to a sitting position. She watched as he reached behind him and unfastened the clasps on his shirt. He let the dark fabric fall to the floor and now it was Elain’s turn to devour him with her eyes. Gods, he was gorgeous. She couldn’t believe he was hers. 

“Angel, don’t make me wait,” Azriel said and reached for the fastenings on his trousers. “I really don’t like waiting.”

“Or losing,” Elain muttered under her breath and turned around. She placed her knees on the edge of the bed and leaned forward, balancing herself on her hands. She tried to ignore the fact that Azriel could see everything from his position behind her. She held her breath in anticipation as she waited for him to touch her. 

“Az–” she began, but his name died on her tongue when she felt a sharp pain on her left buttock. She gasped in surprise. He spanked her. He actually spanked her. 

He had never done that before. Elain had no idea why her body seemed to sing from the pain. She couldn’t understand how the feeling was so similar to pleasure. Azriel had always said that there was a fine line between pain and pleasure, but Elain had never experienced that for herself. Now though, she was beginning to understand what he meant. 

“That’s for being a brat,” Azriel said. When his hand came down on her ass a second time, Elain closed her eyes and let herself really feel the sensation of it all. She didn’t dislike it as much as she thought she would. 

In fact, she didn’t dislike it at all. 

“And that’s for making me lose the snowball fight.”

Should she ask for forgiveness? Should she tell him that she was sorry?She had no idea. She just knew that she didn’t want him to stop. 

He spanked her one more time and Elain couldn’t help the moan that left her lips. “And that’s for making it impossible to join my friends in the birchin.”

Elain smiled but kept quiet. 

His hand came down a fourth time and Elain could feel herself get wetter. Gods, she was really disturbed, wasn’t she? Who enjoyed getting spanked? 

As if he could read her mind, Azriel stroked his hand lovingly over her ass. “And that one was just because you seemed to enjoy that.” Elain could hear the smile in his voice. She turned her head so she could look at him over her shoulder. 

“What does that say about me?” She worried her lip between her teeth. 

“That you’re perfect for me.”

Azriel moved his hand over her back until it rested between her shoulder blades. He pushed her down until her breasts were pressed against the bed. She heard him shift behind her and she resisted the urge to look back again. She felt something warm between her legs and Azriel’s hand was once again grabbing her ass, holding her open for him. He stroked his cock between her folds. “So fucking pretty for me,” he said as the head of his cock pushed inside her. With his other hand, he grabbed her hip and without warning, he drove his hard cock into her warmth. She fisted the sheets and moaned as he started to fuck her. Hard. Azriel was not holding back as he drove into her again and again. 

“Such a good girl. Taking everything I give you,” he all but growled. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

“I missed you too,” she managed to gasp between moans. She met his thrusts, her body begging her to take him deeper. She felt something wet between her cheeks and then Azriel’s thumb was there, massaging her asshole. She was too lost in pleasure to care about the fact that she should feel mortified. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” Azriel said, his breathing ragged and his voice dripping with lust. 

“Don’t you dare stop.”

Elain moaned when his thumb pushed inside. She had never been this full before. They had spent so many nights together, but it had never been like this. Never this intense, this raw.

“You like being filled like this, don’t you?”

Once again, Elain moaned into the sheets and pushed her body back against his, making his thumb slip in further. “Oh, gods,” she whimpered. “Azriel– oh, fuck…” 

“You’re doing so well, Elain.”

She felt a familiar sensation as he sent one of his shadows to massage her clit again. She had to bite the sheets to keep herself from screaming. “Don’t,” Azriel grunted. “Let me hear how good I make you feel.” 

And Elain did. She had no control of her body and Azriel didn’t let up. He kept fucking her. Filling her. Using her. He gave her everything and she gladly took it all. 

“Az, I’m gonna– Oh, gods, I–”

“Come for me, sweetheart. Go on, come on my cock.” 

She felt herself clench around his cock and his thumb. Her legs started to shake and she was glad Azriel was holding her up because she was falling. She came with a scream and she could feel Azriel fill her just seconds later. He fucked her through her pleasure. “Fuck,” he grunted as he pushed himself into her once last time before he stilled. 

They were both trying to catch their breaths. Azriel pulled out of her and covered her body with his. She could feel his seed run down her thighs. He kissed her shoulders, her neck. Licked that sensitive spot just below her ear. She barely even registered that they had moved until her head was resting on Azriel’s chest, her fingers following the path of his tattoos. Elain had done this so many times, she was certain that she would be able to trace the swirls of his tattoos in her sleep. She had spent every moment they had together memorizing his body and he had done the same with hers. 

“Can we stay like this forever?” She asked and kissed him over his heart. 

Azriel tightened his grip on her and kissed the top of her head. “Anything you want. You are my everything, Elain.”

“Anything and everything,” Elain said. “Dangerous words.”

[ngmn2002]

Ch 108: Random Thoughts

First things first...

Now, I didn't expect this thing will go this way. Expected Akane to join No.1's side on the court thing, but for Teru to also join the rest? No.1 are up to something, Huh? They are taking their moment to shine, which is not unexpected it's their arc after all.

Look at how the table have turned... even though at the end Akane was back to 'he is going to kill me' mode. It was funny. Getting to 'see' how the stamp really affects those who get it on them with Teru is cool. Turns out this stamp really is effective and dangerous. Though, I couldn't help but wonder... in Tsukasa and Nene's case, they got the stamp on them, while Hanako and Teru got it on their clothes, if we thought about it in some way... is there a chance they will be free if they just (had the chance to) take off their top? ........ Anyway, back to Tsukasa and Nene's case... first time for me to see Tsukasa 'limited' this way, he is always so capable but there... he was so done, not even bothering to do a thing. It felt actually cute. Uh... I have to also comment on how he got tied? let's say in a different way from the rest a look too... he didn't only have a handcuff around his hands like the rest but also...

Ehhh... we need to have him this way thanks to someone I assume... anyway....

Speaking of 'someone'... is it really that easy for him to escape or is something else at play here? Are we to assume Teru really didn't pay attention to him and got distracted or...? since Hanako really didn't do much in Teru's favor after he ran off... I wonder if it all was just a matter of Hanko taking the chance of Teru not paying attention to him to run away after all.

Little Nene waking up inside the cage... Never a dull moment with Nene-chan monologuing. This time little her.

Still... this thing... it's everywhere...

Why? For 2 of the purest souls to end up that way... even baby Nene didn't survive?!

Free Nene! Free Tsukasa! No more of them living this way... or am I just asking too much Mr. someone? Just kidding. JUST KEEP THEM HAPPY, ALRIGHT?!

Ehhh... this theme... if you look at it even metaphorically... everyone is a prisoner by some sort of thing... all are trapped in someway... we don't really need the cage, chains or anything of that sort... they can take the form of rules... duties... rumors... boundaries... family traditions... society... world...

Princess Rapunzel Nene-chan! pumpkin Cinderella magical attack! fly us to the moon! His comment! too funny!

I love how she went all excitedly "Tsukasa-kun! You're awake!" and rushed to his side... feels so good to see a nice mood between them...

Done Tsukasa-kun... he is adorable. The mouse got the cat... by using some low methods... life can be so unfair at times... it's funny how he is just... 'I won't bother anymore.' Where is all mighty Tsukasa? He is so lovely when he just losses interest in something. He just goes: power off. It's as if things just go by the press of a button it's so funny. Yeah... he is adorable! If we wanted to make the mood a bit gloomy, we can say he was also deeply mentally done, not also physically or just done by the situation. recalling a similar thing from the past where he struggled to break free for so long without getting anything out of it and just lost motivation to go any longer. A really hopeless and miserable Tsukasa... it hurts too much to imagine...

Ehhh... she is adorable. Trying to free herself together with Tsu, being the little hamster she is.... so sweet!!

I love casual Tsukasa. -I can't break it. -I see. Best dad ever, who offers help and words of wisdom to his little child as much as he can and cheers for her to give it her all with a smile on his face meant for her, even when in a bad state himself.

Their word- exchange during the whole thing was done in a really cute way. why bring a thing called 'key' to the table though?

One day we will see said 'twin power' shining, Nene-chan. We only need to keep patient.

The thing that broke me. I'm not ok. This thing had me crying too much. I still can't get over it or what might it really hold. It's too much.

So, was Tsukasa this way in the boundary? before in their past? both? Did he reach a point where he pleaded for Amane to come see him? For like... 10 years or 20 or never mind, they just saw each other on the roof the other day.

Tried with all his might but all his efforts where in vain until he lost hope Amane will respond to him or come see him?

I wonder if Sumire's words got to him. That is, if he knew Tsukasa was calling for him all the time. No.6 seemed oblivious of Sumire's want to meet him once more.

Then... tried once more motivated by the want to go see Amane himself? You're not coming to see me? I will go see you instead.

He tried to get his way by himself to make it happen,

then the help of hers.

Then finally... went to see him. Even though he was still too weak...

Now, remembering every time Nene called for Hanako to come save her and how he showed almost in all of them,

Tsukasa saw that one But with Tsukasa that wasn't the case for a long time... it hurts... he even was under the impression Amane will come save Nene but not me when they fell down...

But, knowing Nene gets the feeling and what he was talking about...

Imagining Tsukasa looking like her in there hurts so bad She can understand him too well, they can support each other.

It really felt too good Tsukasa opens up to Nene so much, trusts her and has faith in her. For him to talk about his sincere feelings with her over and over again... way too openly... ahhhh... it's too much....

This gentle face and smile that are meant for her and to see him cheering for her even when he is in such a state...

This boy... I love him. So very much. He is one of the kindest, most selfless, contented, purest souls ever..... I don't even know where to start or where to end with trying to describe his beauty and charm/trying to understand him and his feelings... please all I want is for him to be happy...

Not this way...

Please... please Tsukasa... I'm begging you... ask for more... think of yourself more... desire even the little amount of things... you can have the world if you ask for it... just ask... don't go things are this way... STRUGGLE as you say... it's killing...

.......... Sumire... Tsukasa... why... No. 6.. Hanako... WHY?! WHY?! We're waiting for the other to do something. One take the first step please!

That whole scene broke me. I'm not alright. Not at all.

Look at him. Look at him. Forgetting all about his own safety and being just to save her. Now, isn't that the guy who selflessly sacrificed himself for his brother? He is just... I can't....

Having Nene asking him once more to call for Amane, yet he kept going with his belief... remembering every single time Tsukasa went calling Amane's name when they meet hits differently now. His excitement to see Amane and how he reacts... ehhh....

..............

While falling down, I wonder if he kept sticking to his belief... or if he actually called for Amane in his mind... and then Amane showed up, saying 'what?'. He saved them BOTH. Tsukasa's shocked face was... oh... I hope what happened made him happy... He had Tsukasa's arms around his neck! He put the 2 of them to safety! Hanako in between this chapter and the previous ones feels like night and day XD And then...

...

He freed Nene alone. Gave Tsukasa his usual rude Amane look and a cold shoulder. Talked like... ugh... he pleases you with actions... gets you pissed off with words and expressions...

You'd better work on this really fast sir. Get a grip, will you? It's about time you do so.

Uhh, don't get me started on your twin... Mr. poker face. Mr. :D How about he lets us into his mind for a moment?

Let's take a really deep breath... starting over...

So, Mr. :D went to Mr. talk to people around you, and was surprised the later saved him too. Oh, Tsukasa... Ugh, Amane.

On the funny side...

So well - deserved. Use his GREAT CURSE against him as much as you can. Thanks Mr. :D, cutie princess. Now I really want to see Tsukasa going that way. I love you, Amane or even better onii-chan. I need to see Amane getting a heart attack and passing out for my own sake.

Pffft... he is not mad. For real? Not even for a little bit? You kept the boy tied up. Your face had the 'angry' mark on it once he reminded you of what happened. Uh... did you like seeing him that way by any chance? Asleep, locked in the boundary for years, and now this... with the thing around his ankle even... I really had a little idea of... Mr. fan of imprisoning his loved ones... if he saw Tsu and Nene still locked in the cage... he would actually take the whole cage with them inside and keep them that way forever. At least it would come to his mind. I won't believe it won't.

To have Nene saying I hate you Tsukasa-kun... ok... fine... she has a point. wonder for how long that will go...

Cool.

The moment you realize how both twins are so talented with handling children. Some twins' hell this girl got herself into. Best of luck to her with them. Anyway, always feels nice to see the 3 of them getting along well together. A really nice party.

Have to say, I love how Amane trusts Tsukasa with Nene to the point of him throwing her to him, knowing he will catch her, keep her safe on his behalf. They get along really well and are in sync. Awesome to see. The dash Tsukasa made and that slide move he went with... Nene is not a ball you 2, you know? Still, a proof of when you trust Tsukasa with something, you'll never be disappointed. Can I see more of the twins this way?

What a group I never expected to see, ever.

So that's how Tsukasa and Teru's first meeting will be? It's too funny.

Uh, if only I didn't make that joke to myself a few hours before the chapter was out... I went... No.1 really miss these scales of justice... and here we are... what will they put on the empty side? The group's misdeeds? XD

I feel sorry nat and sakura are not invited to the party. Don't they need to join the 4? They misbehaved with No.1 too. That's already unfair for a court that will put all guilty to their place and bring 'justice'.

Nene is free... can't she help them? The answer will be no most likely, but I wonder if we will need her free small hands at some point.

So, this chapter ends with 3 powerful men being so powerless a little girl can do better than them. Life... L-I-F-E.

We close on this note. Till next chapter.

*****

Ok, that was the messy chapter review... It's all over the place, yes. Not in the usual style I write my other chapter reviews, yes.

That one Tsukasa scene had me becoming a total mess, I still can't get around it or grasp it fully. It makes my head & heart hurt so bad. When will I be able to think better... I wonder. For now, this is the best I can do with this whole chapter.

Thanks for reading.

[ambrosialdesire]

Idk what type of drugs you put into your yandere Reiner series but it has been on my mind 24/7/365 I need tiny crumbs 🤲 anything, I need anything 😞

AAAAA TYYY i've seen you all the time in my activity and i wanna thank you so much for your constant support! <3

you want more cacoëthes reiner so here’s some more cacoëthes reiner crumbs!!! (also bc i want to write something else rn so i can keep writing the thing i was supposed to post a few weeks ago LOL) and on my kinktober list, there was an epilogue that i was supposed to write (AND I WILL I STG IM TRYING YALL BUT IM JUST BEING BOMBARDED WITH THIS FAST AF PACED PROGRAM 😭) and that was supposed to be a peek inside their relationship during her the first couple months into her pregnancy.

anyways, both the reader (or you lol) and reiner could not keep each other's hands off each other after that night, even though you swear on your entire family's dead souls that you hated him. his big fat cock was too irresistible to continue abstaining from and it's reiner, bro's a little too insatiable for only one round. he ain’t complaining though and he loves to fuck out those endearing i love you’s out of you, so two wins for him ig 😭

and of course, from a previous ask from an anon, reader does indeed get pregnant from the constant action lmfao

but ambro, couldn't the reader have done something to get rid of the child? yeah she/you could've, if not for the fact that you had began to develop feelings towards him (although its mostly bc of the amount of trauma you went through, extreme stockholm syndrome, and heavy coping you had to do in the aotverse, reiner’s the only stable thing in your life so you’re going to cling onto the closest thing of security you have, which is your captor unfortunately 💀) and you're kinda not opposed to it anymore. cacoëthes reader had always wanted to have a family but never thought it could be possible since giving life to a child in a world full of titans wasn't really ideal for starting one. lucky for you, you now live in a world where there's no titans (kinda)!

you were completely alone when you were going through the beginning symptoms of pregnancy, unaware of why you kept vomiting so often or why you had to go to the bathroom even more than before or why you were so fatigued after barely doing anything. when you went to the doctor, that’s when you finally found out that you were already 2 months pregnant. getting out of the office, you kinda snapped out of the housewife-sona you’ve developed in order to cope and become extremely aware of what was happening to you. you cried a lot, absolutely terrified that this was actually happening to you. you barely had your mom most of your life so you didn't know what you were going to do next, all you sorta knew what to do was to make sure that both you and the baby were going to be healthy for the rest of pregnancy.

reiner didn't know about it since he had to leave to go fight some more after a two month absence of him "taking care" of you and your injuries. he sorta did know that he had already gotten you pregnant from all those nights and afternoons fucking on every single surface of the home nonstop, but you never know. so when he came back about a month-ish later, his jaw dropped to the floor when you turned around with a slight bump in your stomach (around this time, you’re like maybe 3-4.5 months pregnant now).

he’s absolutely over the moon but you start crying in front of him, admitting that you’re so scared of the unknown future and what if he actually leaves for good (the abandonment issues are at an all time high bc of hormones and bc he did tell you that he’s going to eventually die in a couple of years 💀). reiner merely hushes you and tells you that you'll be a great mom and he'll be there for you for as long as he lives. it doesn't really make you feel better but the reassuring look in his eyes makes you feel some sort of dull comfort, it's better than nothing ig lol

reiner asks to be sent less often to the wars just so he won't miss the birth of his child or let you get injured again since you're alone most of the time. they grant this for him but they did dock his pay bc of it and it's not that bad of a cut, just more budgeting is going to be more involved in y'alls lives.

yea this is pretty mid snippet-wise sorry 😭

the epilogue i'm going to write covers even more in-depth with their relationship so stayed tuned for that eventually! i might post it on the year anniversary of cacoëthes pt 1 but we'll see lol

[zeephyre]

CR3: EPISODE 63 SPOILERS

I'm literally losing my mind rn guys

i haven't even finished the episode yet as im typing this, currently ashton is holding laudna as she cries on their shoulder after she sucked the life out of bor'dor.

i always had the suspicion that bor'dor wasn't telling the truth or telling a version of the truth, but i never really talked about it cause everyone was throwing out theories. i had an...inkling that he was connected to ludinus or just ruidus in general, and i was right in a way.

him being ruby vanguard is devastating but not surprising. it connected so many things that i chose to brush off cause i didn't want to seem paranoid. a specific moment being bor'dor killing the angel of the dawn father. during that scene, the way matt described the look in that angel's eyes as it died did not match the way that bor'dor retold it and i thought i had just...forgotten how the actual scene played out. now that i know, even tho i haven't rewatched that episode, i have a feeling that the hatred and righteous judgement i remembered was the accurate version.

i don't think bor'dor is bad, simply because i have no way to come to that conclusion when i know how easy it is to let fear and pain and anger drive you to vengeance -- the hellians are feeling it too, and i feel deep compassion for them so i feel for bor'dor too.

for all of ludinus' preachy bullshit he never gave me the impression that he gave a single fuck about the people who followed him or about the lives he ruined to accomplish his goal. i don't think bor'dor was some big wig, i think he was just a kid who was vulnerable and powerful and easily coerced. i do not think he is without blame -- his actions with the ruby vanguard have led to incomprehensible repercussions for everyone on exandria and outside of exandria too. (bear in mind, we don't even know how the apple bee's soul cycle has affected the fey realm -- or any other realms for that matter).

i think that there was no way bor'dor could have survived this night with the way it went. i don't think there could have been a moment where he snuck away. if he got a lucky roll, maybe. i don't think bor'dor died because /he/ was an unforgivable monster.

he died because laudna, ashton and orym were at their breaking point and none of them wanted to pull each other from that place of hatred and anger. they've spoken about feeling powerless -- terrified and angry at the situation they were forced into when they truly have nothing to do with ludinus' anger at the gods. orym, especially, has been struggling with his grief and his stubbornness, and this moment will have effects on all of them for these upcoming battles and hardships.

laudna. jesus christ. im so upset that delilah is back. or at least pieces of her are thriving inside laudna, seemingly every time she uses her necrotic magic. for a single moment, she felt delilah's complete control over herself and other people in a situation where laudna had no idea what to do and how to get shit done, and as soon as delilah had nothing left of bor'dor to scavenge off of, laudna was back to feeling weak.

i can't even process the lore drops of ashton's heritage and his father and the history of the hishari and the fact that abadina WAS an hishari ???? they need to go that cursed town soon or im gonna lose it. hell, maybe they're already headed there.

deni$e might say she didn't care whether bor'dor lived or died but i know that isn't true because she was a) the only person who didn't actually hurt him and b) she was trying the entire time to get the others to at least interrogate him. i don't think that would work for multiple reasons. bor'dor was yeeted to kingdom come so bor'dor would likely not have anything useful for them atp, and also bor'dor is absolutely not nearly as important to ludinus as they need him to be.

im gonna miss utkarsh 😭

i think that maybe if bells hells was together, he'd live. but ashton, laudna and orym are too... there's something dangerous about these three being separated from their people. dangerous for themselves mentally and for anyone who stands in their way. i NEED bells hells to be reunited again.

it's sad that the characters with such a strong history of loss and betrayal and abandonment and grief and loss of control would have the traitor amongst them. there is nothing that bor'dor could say that would lessen the pain orym feels having lost his husband and his father, of him and his friends being killed by a cruel, vicious comrade of ludinus', of the tempest being trapped /because/ orym was the one who led her straight into it. the gods are all good and well, but i don't think it will EVER be about the gods for orym. i won't say he's correct or in the right for his narrowed vision and hardened heart. he took that locket for a reason, and throwing it aside is a calculated disposal of that inherently inconvenient empathy orym has for people around him. he can't afford to feel. not now.