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#i ofc didn't point it out
wearily-confused · 2 months
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SO
I... Acknowledge that I am a hoarder
BUT
That does not mean you can just walk in and tear apart all my pages and throw them away, they are important! to me I have emotional attachment™ to them!!!
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enbysiriusblack · 1 year
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jegulily are nerds. huge, giant, nerds. but in very different ways.
lily is a nerd in the sense she spends most of her time in the library, planning her career and studying for classes, obsessing over fictional books, playing chess, reading lord of the rings a million times, practices potion making for fun and likes to make the same potion over and over, gets excited over quidditch stats and making types of plays but finds watching the actual game boring
regulus is a nerd in the sense he obsesses over classical music and relentlessly learns compositions, secretly loves classic romance books and uses them to work out how to socialise, spends all his time studying or on independent projects usually related to something in one of his classes, was ojce given a cigarette and his first thought was to dissect it open
james is a nerd in the sense he obsessively watched star wars over and over and then brought every piece of merch he could find, always gets top marks in everything, willingly reads extremely high level transfiguration books for fun all the time, spends all day working out quidditch stats, and had a map making phase as a kid (which he still has)
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dolokhoded · 11 months
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my one season 4 complaint is Where The Fuck Was Aneesa
#never have i ever#i really wish her and fabiola had stayed together them not working out didn't rlly serve any purpose to the plot for the new season#fabiola's new relationship was barely rlaborated upon. as expected.#and aneesa was basically written out she was barely even part of the group#plus that scene of them at the staircase talking about fab's robotics team. they still have so much chemistry and they were literally just#talking about robotics#i understand she's not a major character and she can't have a separate plotline to herself but she wasn't even involved in anyone else's#her and fabiola were cute together and she would've at least been part of the plot if they were still dating#allison was barely a character what was the point of writing some random new partner for fabiola when she already had a perfectly good#love interest#it just doesn't make sense to me. whi decided it would be a good idea for them to break up#was it just an opportunity to shove in a nonbinary character who had no personality and was just there as someone's s/o and call it#representation#cause there are Many better ways to have nonbinary rep than this#but ofc mindy kaling wouldn't give a shit about this.#n e ways for this support my nonbinary aneesa hc . it's real.#fabiola torres#aneesa qureshi#OR AT THE VERY LEAST SHE SHOULD'VE GOTTEN WITH PAXTON. SHE HAD THAT NICE HOT JOCK LINE AT THE END OF SEASON 3#im fabneesa 4 life but i would honestly be haply with her dating paxton. they're both cool and they'd be fun together. and she deserves a#nice hot jock boyfriend.
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quarks-pussy · 7 months
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[Images description: Twelve pictures of Star Trek actors. The phrase "thank you for being both amazing actors and amazing people" is written across most of the images one word at a time, except for the two images in the middle. The middle images are of William Shatner, reading "not you!" and Robert Beltran, reading "or you for that matter". The actors in the other images are George Takei, René Auberjonois, DeForest Kelley, Gates McFadden, Wil Wheaton, Kate Mulgrew, Patrick Stewart, Siddig El Fadil (aka Alexander Siddig), Nichelle Nichols and Leonard Nimoy. End image description.]
Non exhaustive list of course. Many more such cases, in fact feel free to add
(insp)
#i considered putting sid's full name in the image description but i felt that might complicate things for screen reader users#but just so it's in the post i'll put it in the tags#siddig el tahir el fadil el siddig abdurrahman mohammed ahmed abdel karim el mahdi#yes i did copy paste it my memory is shit. i can't even remember my own full name...#(i gave myself like five different middle names at one point because if i'm already changing my name for trans reasons i might as well have#fun with it right but eventually i stopped using them because i literally kept forgetting my own name and had to look it up)#(i still have the note btw and since it seems i won't legally be using that last name anyway (nor any of the middle names) feel free to ask#anyway#star trek#not star trek#(schrödinger's post lol)#oh!!! i forgot one version of sid's name!! here goes#صدّيق الطاهر الفاضل الصدّيق عبدالرحمن محمد أحمد عبدالكريم المهدي#to be fair there's nothing in that tag (right now) but i guess i'm a completionist. or something#the others are ofc already findable because of the image description#oh and just fyi if you wanna add others do feel free to add new trek actors. i didn't include any here essentially because as soon as i inc#include one of them people are gonna complain i didn't include more of them. plus i ran out of space. sorry tawny#oh and to that one anon: i WILL still answer but i needed a break lol#original posts fresh from quark's pussy
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bloomingsalma · 1 month
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i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in
#had a friendship break up w like one of my entire friend groups of six ppl?#found out that one of the girls in our friend group had sent screenshots of our private conversation about smth I was hurt over#to a gc with our other friends (but not me ofc)#and they all proceeded to talk shit about me :// I swear the way my stomach dropped when the friend I was having the convo w#sent me screenshots of what our mutual friends were saying about me#she knew how much it would hurt me but still did it just to prove a point (though I'm certain she misrepresented our conversation + my word#to them considering she blocked out what she had initially said to them lol)#my stomach hasn't dropped like that since high school#which is exactly where I thought we left this kind of deceitful behaviour. like how are you guys twenty one and still sending screenshots#and talking bad behind only one (1) friend's back when you know she can't defend herself in that space#I immediately texted our collective gc to explain a text she had sent but failed to give context for#then told them if I'm as selfish as they say I will leave this friend group. and then I left that gc#I also texted two friends who I knew were talking shit and I sent them the screenshots that first “friend” sent and pointed out how#she blocked out what she said so I'm suspicious that she skewed our conversation so they (the two other “friends”) should be wary#I told them I understood it was fair game to stoop. this low considering neither of them tried to reach out to me to hear my side#or defend me + my privacy#for context: the original argument was me voicing out that I was upset bc that first “friend” had invited and planned with with our friend#group an event that landed on my birthday without checking in with me if I was planning to spend time with them that day#and she kept defending herself and saying she didn't know I'd plan smth (probably bc my bday is two months away lmao) and she said#the event they'd be attending is just as important and necessary as being there for my birthday?? it's literally just a party her brother#(who none of us are close to lol) is DJing at. and I brought up how I'm their close friend (not her brother) and it's not fair to call#it equally necessary. but I suspect she skewed what I said greatly considering all of our friends started calling me selfish and unfair#but yeah v v crazy and hurtful and just astonishing#salmaspeaks
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singingcicadas · 2 months
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Every time I see something along the lines of "Megatron was a slave because he was oppressed and forced to work in the mines, forced labour is slavery and oppression is slavery so what happened to Megatron was obviously slavery" a question mark pops up in my head and it's so fucking funny because. Social studies. History. Basic literary analysis skills.
Like I'm gonna be assuming whoever's in the 'Megatron was a slave' camp is talking about idw1 and tfp b/c those are the only two continuities that have Megatron coming from an oppressed background in depth. If it's idw1 then how could anyone miss the obvious communism reference in Megatron Origin? (Guaranteed it's a loose, twisted, villifying, Western-lensed, not-very-good reference, but point is that it's OBVIOUS and unmistakably RECOGNIZABLE.) Workers' revolt ring a bell? It's the first issue in the collection volumes so even if people run out of patience without finishing anything they should have been able to at least get through that before, y'know, making unfounded claims about canon. And the stuff I'm talking about should've been evident in the first chapter. Were the miners upset because they were forced to work in the mines? No, they were upset because the government was closing the mines and laying them off and replacing them with automation; they were upset because soon there would be no mines left for them to work and then they would starve.
'Slavery is forced labour' yeah but uh that's only one facet of it. Forced labour because of livelihood: 'I have to work here b/c it's the only job that's available to me and I have no means of obtaining the skills/licence/opportunity for a different job or bettering my circumstances, if I quit I'll have no income/food/shelter and starve out on the streets' is fundamentally different from forced labour due to state institution of ownership over people: 'I have to work here because I am the private property of the facility owner and am forbidden by law to leave or quit.'
Does anyone like, not see the difference between the two scenarios? Only the latter would be slavery since it has the defining characteristics of 1. legalization of the ownership of people and 2. restriction of liberty. In concurrence. The first scenario's just describing what every fucking exploited worker/peasant/wage-earning lowclass commoner in the world looks like, it's called proletarianism. It's a completely different class category in a completely different social structure that's in no way interchangeable or confusable with slavery unless you want to say that communist revolutions were done by slaves and every wage worker in the industrial revolution was a slave. why not go back further while at it and serfdom can be slavery feudalism is slavery indentureship corvee conscription are all slavery lmao way to rewrite history.
For the people who's only read MTMTE and nothing else there's even a specific scene in there that says this 🔽
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This is talking about Rewind. The text literally gives us what used to be the equivalent in Cybertronian society and it's clearly not Megatron's class. And why was Rewind's class equated to slaves? Because they were considered disposable tools, not sentient people. The Ambus Test helped them get rights by proving their sentience as people, which further proves that they don't keep sentient people as slaves.
If it's TFP then did anyone notice that Megatron started as a miner but met Optimus as a gladiator? If he was so absolutely forced to work in the mines as a slave then how was he allowed to leave?
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This is how Covenant of Primus describes Megatron going to work in the mines. It's "the only opening available to him". It doesn't say that he's assigned a master at birth and was legally obligated to go work in that opening on pain of punishment. Just implies that he'd be out of a job and income and would probably starve if he didn't. There's still an illusion of choice, of free will.
The closest thing Aligned had to slavery was the Quintession occupation era but the Covenant also spent a whole section talking about how it started out as a mutually beneficial relationship with the Quintessions presenting themselves as the more advanced race and Cybertronians eagerly accepting them as 'masters' (honourific term, not literal) in a pseudo colonizer-who-civilized-the-indigenous-barbarians-and-used-them-for-cheap-labour dynamic which got more and more exploitational as time went on until the Cybertronians had enough and drove them off. But even during the peak of occupation the Quintessions were still careful to give Cybertron the pretense of sovereignty. It was the Quintessions who introduced them to the electoral system and inaugurated the office of the Prime in the first place. The illusion of free will and equality was always there, despite everyone knowing otherwise.
Exodus is extremely clear in describing Cybertron as a birth-defined caste system with rigid hierarchy and little mobility. So that's exactly what it is. a caste system. Not a slave society. There's a reason they're different words, they're different concepts! I don't get why people would feel the need to replace one with the other, does slavery sound better? edgier? Is the purpose for making Megatron an ex-slave to have his backstory sound more tragic? to induce more sympathy? idc people are free to headcanon what they want but at least have the decency to refrain from framing it as canon and bashing other characters with it? Stuff like 'oh Optimus was so selfish/naive/entitled/stupid/insensitive/traitorous/opportunist/privileged to accept the prime title in front of Megatron the poor ex-slave' nevermind that Megatron had repeatedly expressed a desire for taking power through whatever cruel means necessary and was perfectly eager to become prime when he thought he was the one going to be chosen? Nevermind that the council offered up a chance for implementing all the social changes they wanted through legal means with the least amount of bloodshed and Megatron threw it all away b/c he didn't get to be in charge, by committing murder on the spot? Nevermind that 'Megatron the poor ex-slave' is a massive bigoted racist who looks down on Optimus' job and is disgusted by minicons and combiners and insecticons as well as being a devout believer of 'survival of the fittest and the rest don't deserve to live' -type social darwinism and a domestic terrorist happy to blow up factories full of his own caste members and places full of innocent people? Nevermind that Megatron and Optimus already had a deep rift between them because of Megatron betraying Optimus' trust by lying about his role in the bombings and Optimus already recognizing that their methods were never going to match up b/c of Megatron's disregard of innocent life and Megatron never really trusting Optimus anyway? As if making Megatron a slave somehow excuses all of that and pins all the blame on Optimus.
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nikki-tine · 2 months
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Hi again, I'm alive for the day! have the AU Grillby, Adeline (Adene).
Not much has changed about her aside from appearance, but for a refresher:
She's head of the Royal Guard in within UnderCharged (With Syreen - Undyne - taking on a more minor role to reflect the change), and is built up with the intent to have a sort of sibling dynamic between her, Sparky and his brother Toasty (the AU Papyrus who also happens to be Second-in-command!). As she is a Red Charge, she primarily works with Pyrokinesis (Something expected for a Flame Elemental of some form like her).
Aside from this info, she's mostly what you may expect of a Grillby otherwise. She's mostly quiet with a bit of exception, and cares deeply for the souls around her in a way that feels either stoic physically or maybe a bit stiff at worst. The most vocal you hear her get is around Sparky and Toasty or her biological family members (family reunions/get-togethers are quite the roaring flame of a crowd! heheh).
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theloveinc · 1 year
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why is this bakugo and do you think he does it to his lil daughters too till they grow up and have their own valentines
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😭😭😭i know i'm just repeat everything here but !!!
Every year waking up to a big bouquet of flowers and chocolates and presents in the kitchen that bakugo claims were all left for you at the door by "that damn stupid secret admirer of yours."
He even goes so far as to put on his glasses to make fun of the sweet words written in the card (typed bc he'd get too sentimental writing it all out AND it'd be obvious who it was), calling it all "sappy nonsense you shouldn't take seriously..." LIKE IT WASN'T HIM CALLING U PRETTY AND LOVELY AND THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE IF ONLY YOU'D JUST "NOTICE" THE WAY HE LOOKS AT YOU ... wahhh :((
And ofc he does it for your daughters (and probs even sons, too)! they end up catching on after a couple of years, esp the younger ones... but those first few years in school with your oldest: the student counsel is walking into her class with a damn near parade of stuff he "didn't" drop off for her. stuffies and roses and a piping hot lunch and a card W/ MONEY IN IT.
she comes home with flower petals stuck to her clothes and he's just going, "ew. tell the fucker to lay the hell off" jadslkfjasd.
lmfaoooooo he's spoils you and your kids so badly and VIOLENTLY REFUSES to admit it even if you all know <3... and even when they do have their own valentines, he's still trying to get 1-2 gifts in. least he always has you...
(I'm also thinking about the way he barely even lets you + your kids say thank you. They try and he's denying it... so the only way they can is to line up and all give him a kiss on the cheek. and then a real kiss from you once they're all in bed...)
thank u for sending me this, moni! i want to get to your cello ask soon☺️
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p4nishers · 1 year
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"so is your son really the reason you don't date?" "it's like he's having an affair with his own wife, you don't think that's weird?" "seems like she's already back in yours" "christopher's pretty english teacher" "eddie, what would you say ana's love language is?" "hey, how was the big date?" "i thought i'd been single too long" "sounds pretty serious" "so what are you going to do?" "that's not how you talk about someone you're in love with" "is that enough?" "you could always ghost her" "okay so that's what this is, you suck at [dating]".
u see where i'm going with this?
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mattodore · 1 year
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found you!
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todayisafridaynight · 17 days
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What do you think Mine’s reaction to Masato / Aoki be like?
tbh they'd probably be. amicable. at the very least.
#snap chats#like they have similar values its just that mine's more openly depressed about his belief system and doesn't take pride in it like aoki#i talked about this before omg thats so funny... but yeah no aoki's more proud of 'how the world is'. prob cause he's 'on top' of it#mine begrudges the fact he needs material goods to be useful to people#meanwhile aoki's happy to exploit others if it means he advances. for the most part anyway#he only really starts to show some regret when confronted by ichi. and get the shit kicked out of him for twenty minutes#wait i was rewatching the cutscene and started to throw up cause i got reminded of me in high school again aoki you're 42 stop this#Back On Track Though. mine and aoki had similar pursuits: attain power to be loved thats the core of it in simple terms#they went about it differently ofc: for mine money was power and for aoki popularity was power. Both Very True TBH but anyway#mine realized that even with money his person wasnt valued#and aoki realized that even with recognition people didn't value his character. sins the arakawas. fcukin dummy#i mean aokis a jackass so no wonder but thats not the point of this. fuckfest of tags#they wouldnt be friends. aoki's incapable of friendship and mine would probably quickly recognize aoki as being power hungry#i think mine's been in enough business meetings And Knows Enough About Politics to recognize Professional Fakerism when he sees it#actually do you think mine'd be swindled by any 'kindness' aoki expressed like when kanda left him and he thought he just went to get help.#that shit was wack LMAO BUT REGARDLESS idk i have to go to class soon so im not gonna spend too much time thinking of this#if they needed to they'd just use each other for whatever purpose they needed the other for. idk why mine would need aoki tho#TLDR mine probably wouldnt think too differently of aoki compared to any other power-hungry freak#we can revisit this topic when. im not learning about JP history vjERJALKJ
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byanyan · 27 days
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I've talked a fair amount about how byan has been bullied and hurt by teachers in the past (& how they'd hit their limit and seek drastic revenge, in some cases), but I've never really talked much about how byan has also bullied and outright tormented teachers for themself... like yeah, it's definitely because they don't trust teachers or authority figures in general due to their past experiences, but that doesn't mean that their 9th grade math teacher deserved to feel afraid for his own safety or that their 10th grade biology teacher should have been so stressed that she retired early. byan has been done dirty by a lot of people in their life but they've also been a genuine menace to others who gave them no real reason to be, and they have taken enjoyment in it in a lot of cases.
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teufelme · 8 months
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You ever just want to talk about Bertl,
#i  .   ooc  .#The tags got so long just warning U now!#OK I know his appearance wasn't the longest but like. I'll never stop talking about him because he doesn't get enough credit? rip.#I know it's not really relevant any more because post-timeskip everyone is a lot better but. Referring to everyone's skill as of pre.#Reiner said Bertolt was the strongest of all of the shifters but he held himself back. He came 3rd without giving his all. Or really trying#I hc he held himself back to try not to let too much of his strength show bc people forget he had military training b4 joining the 104th.#And ofc. Also to not bring too much attention to himself bc of who he really is???#The way he mastered his Titan straight away and also has such a good handle on it.#Out of the 3 shifters he was the one that stayed true to the mission. Despite his reluctance he's got the strength and commitment.#People are so quick to say he relies on Reiner too much. And while he does at times. Reiner relies on him just as much if not more. Even if#Reiner doesn't realise it. Bertolt keeps him on track and has no one supporting him at all.#In COTT arc... U see him dodge Mikasa who is an Ackerman and seen as one of the strongest characters in the series...#And the same in RTS. Everyone gets too distracted by Mikasa to actually pay attention to how he dodges her 4 times?? Even tho she attacks#from behind? And the way he lands a hit on her. I just *screams*. I love how many times she tries to kill him. lol#How effective he is when he abandons his guilt and this is sort of irrelevant but. It's so special to me because as someone who is#a quiet person irl round people I don't know well. Who has it brought up a lot. I just adore when a character that remains in the#background just comes out and says enough is so hhhhh I know his reasons aren't good BUT RTS BERT... AH.#Also gotta talk about his marksmanship skills in a thread at some point?? Maybe Mp bert I J UST..#Anyway I might do a cheeky revamp of graphics n icons and that. Dunno yet. Need to actually write that'd be good lol.#This account is a lovebot didn't U know.
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lingeringscars · 11 months
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i just think there is something about how nat could never forgive herself for javi sacrificing himself for her. she was worse than all of them because she let this kid, her somewhat boyfriend's brother, her own family, her friend, die in her place. it was supposed to be her, she heard the cries from javi and watched him die nonetheless.
but now she didn't watch. she didn't watch at all when it came to lisa. she stole the fish. she intervened with her family. she died in her place. nat healed a part of her when sacrificing herself for lisa. it wasn't right. it wasn't her time. she didn't want to go, but she got to finally pay forward javi's sacrifice in a way that she's never been able to do and always been punishing herself for. she got to heal her inner child by saving lisa. ( the irony is that it may not have happened had she not gone to try and save lisa to begin with. not tipped her off to something happening. these are the consequences of the girls actions. they wanted a hunt through the woods, they got one. they went after shauna and called off services, nat pays the price. misty tries to solve the problem the way she has been but she's not a perfect serial killer and she missed. they covered up the wrong guy at the end of last season. they killed the wrong person at the end of this one. ).
travis didn't break the pact, but neither did she. she did better. (btw travis was on the plane <3)
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hella1975 · 1 year
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hella idk what to send to you for aftg im either bored or annoyed and I don't wanna just say bad things about it 😭 like that's just rude and yall obviously like it I DONT WANNA BE SOME DEBBY DOWNER MDMWKEM
I looked at the anti aftg tag too to see if I could intermingle there and last I checked it was a mix of fans obsessed with the series and haters being just a tad harsh imo, so i couldn't even do that RIP. I'm so lonesome in what is maybe a whole group of people gaslighting me 😔👊
honestly ive said this before and i always have to tread a very fine line with it because this isn't me saying it's OKAY or like. promotable. but i do think to an extent that aftg's problematicness is actually an aspect of what draws people in a lot. like the characters and their reactions to things feel real for who they are, what they've been through and the environments they were raised in if that makes sense? and then you go in the anti-aftg tag and it's just again and again 'they said THIS thing and acted THIS way in response to THIS scenario and it was PROBLEMATIC' and like. yeah. outside of the internet bubble you're in people do actually do that. like that behaviour exists. it IS problematic, well done. you pointed at a wall and called it a wall. but like? in real life people - PARTICULARLY deprived, traumatised people that typically don't ever get therapy or community or someone telling them why something is bad - DO act this way. ive said half of my love for andrew is literally just because he took an awful backstory and let it make him a complete cunt and ive NEVER seen a character do it as shamelessly as him before. and yeah there's the argument for how it's never resolved in the book where nora ties it with a bow and points at the bad behaviour so the readers can go 'see, this is wrong' and we all clap, but idk it just for me feels that when people point at the aftg characters and go problematic! problematic! problematic! it's like they're missing the point a bit.
the point being? that we need to be putting WAY more heat on the author. i really dislike her and a lot of her writing choices and her insistance of using slurs that aren't hers to reclaim and just because it happened to make the characters feel just that bit more authentic i can still acknowledge that she CLEARLY wrote it without characterisation in mind and just added all that problematic shit anyway. like i never get why there's so little focus on nora's writing decisions and thousands of posts just fucking CRUCIFYING the characters themselves and 'let's explain in detail why this behaviour is Morally Reprehensible and they should be Locked Up Forever'. like if u want to focus on the characters so bad and pretend they're the sole reason why aftg is Problematic and Bad then why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone raised the way they were might have some misinformed, ignorant beliefs. idk lol
#but i do also think im prone to viewing these characters as TOO real and i understand there's a line to be drawn between media and reality#like at what point does 'life imitates art' become just a genuinely shit piece of media#and at the end of the day im fully aware which end of the spectrum aftg is on LMAO but this is my 2 cents#like ive met so many people that have said absolutely heinous things that the internet would eat them alive for#like homophobic sexist shit you name it they've said it and it IS problematic and uncomfortable to listen to#but i also know that while teenagers online that would call them problematic were busy claiming some new fucking buzz word to throw around#those people were actively just fucking trying to survive. like they weren't learning about why misogyny is bad#because they were fucking addicted to drugs or living through poverty or some shit like they had BIGGER PROBLEMS#like not everyone got the education or life experiences you got and while it's valid to assume someone saying horrible things#is horrible themselves there's also the times it's just genuinely a misinformed ignorant person#like they'll say 'problematic' things and i'll point out why it's bad and they'll literally go 'oh i never thought of that.' that's it!!!#like i have this childhood friend whose life has been an absolute circus start to finish like COMPLETE instability i wont even get into it#low and behold she had NO ONE educating her about things and one time i had to explain to her why having abortion rights was important#bc she just out of nowhere said she was against abortions. and i initially was outraged and disappointed that this came from her#but i didn't patronise her or shout i just explained my angle on why i think they're good and she was on side immediately#cause she always had bigger problems than researching ethics and no one to guide her so she just absorbed the first opinion she came across#and in a small town from a working class family that opinion is typically not the nice woke answer the internet demands#and with aftg particularly andrew bc he's the one who gets a lot of slack for being violent and generally unreasonable#you have someone who has literally not had someone treat him kindly a single time in his life and each new person is a genuine safety threa#like the average person just does not have to deal with that! ofc they have more time to decide their political and moral compass!#and that's so relevant to real life! popularity for the monarchy is highest amongst the working class! the people voted for brexit! trump!#the lower classes and marginalised simply do not have the resources that higher classes do#and someone fighting for survival is not going to be reading twitter threads on cancel culture in their spare time#so many issues in the world can be eased so much quicker by kindness and patient non-patronising education#than just. pointing and calling 'problematic' at anything remotely uncomfortable#idk where this came from its 2am i should go to bed and instead im ranting not even about aftg anmore this is completely it's own thing now#i feel like i worded this badly too im gonna wake up to anons in the morning accusing me of like. condoning spiking#also gloomy i am SO sorry you are the true victim of this i went ENTIRELY off piste on this one please ignore this 😭#ask
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hylialeia · 11 months
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what gets me is this started not with a leak but with Amazon themselves deciding to put [redacted] out in the open thinking that it was like. what. set dressing or something? like that's so absolutely insane to me
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