#i personally love when my tags are twice as long as the post itself

[doks-aux]

Felix: *previous night* God, Jack, bite me! Give me bruises. I wanna be so embarrassed at work tomorrow.

Felix: *next morning* ...Fuck.

[ns-media]

Incredibly long analysis on Oda's thoughts on romance, way of portraying romance and LuNami in One Piece

Okay, so I want to make a LOOOOONG post about something interesting that's been on my mind for a while, about romance in One Piece. I was originally going to post it on Twitter but this post is way too long for that platform. I always preferred posting here, but not too many people are here nowadays. Anyway, onto the main topic here. I'll be talking about Oda's portrayal of and thoughts about romance, how he views it, why he puts a good chunk of it in "non-canon" material and so on. This post is to understand Oda's perspective on romance and why he goes about it the way he goes about it. I'm a LuNami fan, so this is also to make a point about how he decides to portray them.

Do not read this if you don’t want to see me express unfavorable opinions (and also factual information) about LuHan and other ships I just don't see working out, as they basically don’t fall in line with how romance works in Oda’s work. I'm not mean-spirited about it though. (Also I'll be bringing up SanPu for a bit too, in a favorable way) I am guaranteed to get at least one eyebrow raise or a "What the fuck are you talking about?" from any person reading this whole thing, but that's fine. I'll only tag LuNami because this is for LuNami fans.

Anyhow, in an interview with Aoyama back in 2022, Oda stated how he doesn’t want to include actual romance into his story and how he’s fine with one-sided stuff. His reason is because he fears he would lose certain fans for doing so. This is an interesting statement.

First, if you read this up here, it essentially confirms how Oda doesn’t see one-sided affection as romance so there’s no reason to think that Sanji or Boa’s affection are hints when they’re both for comedic effect.

The reason they're one-sided in the first place is not because he's teasing you with the idea that the other might return that affection one day, no he treats it as a joke, it's as straightforward as that. I don't understand how people try to act like it's not purely for humor. If he intended on making something like Boa and Luffy’s relationship as something to seriously consider being “romance” then Boa wouldn’t be so humorously delusional even after being rejected twice in back to back chapters, she’d be taken aback at the very least. But doesn’t. Why? It’s a joke.

I mean for heaven’s sake, whenever this gag is used with Nyon around, she’s the voice of reason, y’know, a woman who also experienced the same kind of delusional love once? Again it’s all a joke, the entire point of Boa’s gag is that it’s love that’s supposed unreciprocated.

Also, the second time he rejected her was him rejecting her before she even got to ask anything...

This lets us know that Luffy knows how persistent she in trying to get with him and also implying that Luffy is going to say no, no matter what, as he knows how desperate and persistent she is about it. Now that I think about it, Rayleigh left Luffy to train by himself for 6 months before the timeskip fully ended, Rayleigh's supervision made it to where Boa couldn't get to Luffy, but after he left, was fully capable of doing so. I mean just look at Boa down here:

Yeah she said she won't go and remain strong for Luffy's sake, but with her being the way she is, I wouldn't be surprised if Boa in those 6 months went to the island and was asking Luffy multiple times which was how he was able to reject her before even knowing. If what we saw in Chapter 598 was the first time he rejected her, he wouldn't be so quick to know that she was gonna ask it again when he rejected her the 2nd time on panel. We know that the Kuja girls KNEW that Rayleigh left half a year ago as well, meaning they must've gotten to the island itself if they found this out. Unless Rayleigh told them directly, which, to be fair, is likely, but if he didn't, this implies that Boa has been talking to Luffy on the island in those 6 months, and if so, would definitely have brought up marriage at least once, or a lot, honestly, thus explaining Luffy being able to shut down her marriage request before even knowing what she was going to say, because he already heard it THAT much in those 6 months. Now, I don't truly believe that Oda thought of it like that, but it does make logical sense so I figured "why not bring it up".

Also, in a 2014 interview with Fuji TV about the 3D2Y special, Oda mentioned that not only Buggy but BOA bring in the comedic elements into the arc and how they're comic relief characters, again making it obvious that Boa’s infatuation is a complete joke for the sake of comedy. Same with Sanji. Being a gentleman is part of his character but he tries to score every woman. Why? Jokes.

Even if you somehow use the argument of “Oh but this behavior of his is even stronger towards Nami specifically” I don’t see how any of that can be seen as a “shipping hint” and not a gag that’s exaggerated even further, cause he’s still hitting on every woman. Besides, the first time he actually got his heart broken by a woman was by Pudding, and never Nami, Robin and every other woman despite getting rejected a billion times by them. Why? Because the Nami/Robin affection is for comedy while the story between Sanji and Pudding is supposed to be taken seriously.

It's why Oda went out of his way for Sanji to write a dedicated story between the two, with Sanji getting genuinely sad when Pudding talked shit about him only for everything to turn around by the end where she actually likes him. THAT is a romance story with substance behind it, and Oda clearly wrote it like there is merit to it. There is obviously a story written here with a beginning to an end, Sanji acts no different towards Nami in Wano than in say, Punk Hazard. Beginning of Whole Cake vs end of Whole Cake Sanji is on entirely different terms with Pudding and she is on entirely different terms with him. There is development, a plot, a purpose that impacts the plot. Not just "Haha jokes".

Soooo yeah that’s the first thing I wanted to address regarding that statement.

Second, Oda saying “I don’t want to include romance because I don’t wanna lose fans” may seem like an odd thing for him to say at first given how Oda post-timeskip portrays actual romance in his story, and plenty of times, I might add. This was when Oden/Toki was relatively fresh too so there’s no way he forgot he did so. Because of that, Oda is referring to romance for specific characters rather than for the characters he’s already written romance stories about.

So this basically means that Oda’s fear of losing readers obviously doesn’t stem from the romance stories he has already written, it’s very clear from the interview that he’s hesitant to write romance out of fear of losing some of his readers. But of course as we know, he clearly has written blatant romance already, primarily with non-main characters like Rebecca’s parents, Rouge/Roger, etc. It makes plenty of sense for Oda to not be afraid or hesitant to write romance stories/romantic elements for those non-main characters.

Because well, those stories written are basically all backstories that are over in a few chapters (Senor Pink/Russian) or briefly talked about (like the aforementioned Rouge and Roger.) As such, there’s no long-term impact on the story.

Notice how in the only case of a STRAW HAT having a blatant romance story (Sanji/Pudding), it is a character who's most defining character trait is his lovey dovey/romantic behavior? Oda most likely felt more comfortable giving a romance story to Sanji specifically as that goes with his personality, and likely felt he would not be getting backlash for giving the LOVE cook a romantic story. (Because again keep in mind he clearly stated he's hesitant to include romance due to losing fans of the characters getting romantically involved)

But STILL, even with all of that, the impact of this love story from Sanji's perspective is just erased entirely as Pudding erased his memories, as if Oda is being particularly protective of the Straw Hats getting impacted by any obviously permanent romantic development. (Because as I said SanPu is on entirely different terms from the beginning to the end of WCI, so their romance plot had impact on the story.)

So, because of how romance in One Piece is basically all deceased/minor characters having short backstories or in the case of the one Straw Hat who got a blatant romance story, (I said blatant cause you could say Usopp/Kaya, but it’s not super obviously blatant the way SanPu is) erased from his brain, there’s no obvious long-term impact that romance seems to have in One Piece.

I very much think that this “obvious long-term impact” is what Oda wants to avoid so badly, particularly for the Straw Hats (the main characters of the story). This is because this long-term impact would make it apparent to his readers that romance has a fundamental and established role in the story of One Piece as something important, which goes against his target audience of boys, who, from his point of view, don’t like it.

This idea Oda has stems from how Jump used to be when he was a kid, as clearly stated in the interview with Aoyama. It’s his own experiences with how boys manga are “supposed” to be coupled with his insecurities about being embarrassed to write romance that makes him hesitant to do just that.

This is why I scoff at the idea of “No romance in the crew” being used as an actual argument. People use that argument as if Oda himself is completely against the idea of anybody in the crew getting together, despite the painfully crystal clear reason for “no romance in the crew” being to not alienate readers and lose said readers as he is under the impression that boys won’t like that because of how he thinks that everyone still has this idea that they should be segregated due to how it was when he was a kid himself. It's why he said "People are so supportive of couples!" all surprised in the interview with Aoyama, clearly being surprised about the positive reception it gets that he didn't think it would get. It has nothing to do with him hating the very concept of romance, it's him being under the wrong impression on what his young male readers would find acceptable or not.

There is a reason why almost every single time that he brings up or hints at any, ANY hesitance or opposition towards romance in the crew, he brings up his readers. ALMOST. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. He tries to please his target audience. “It’s a shounen manga” or “the readers” he keeps saying, despite not even being asked about his readers' opinion. "I don't think there will be any romance in that crew" is said clearly because "It's a shounen manga THEY won't be interested" not because "OMG WTF I HATE ROMANCE BETWEEN THEM GTFO!" the way people intentionally misconstrue this to be. He even says "Nami probably sees all the good aspects/qualities of those guys, BUT One Piece isn't a romance" So he LITERALLY says that his reason isn't "She does not like any of her crewmates in a romantic way!" but instead says "Well it's not a story about romance and I think only girls care so I won't show or depict it because I think my primary young male audience wouldn't give a shit". Nothing about himself. Legitimately nothing about his own opinions about supposedly being disgusted with nakama romance. Gotta love the made-up narrative being presented as a fact to the fandom at large.

Oda's "but" could have EASILY been followed up with something like this: "Nami probably sees all the good aspects/qualities of those guys, BUT she doesn't see them in a romantic way and I don't want it to be that way" or something, but instead essentially opted for "Nami probably sees all the good aspects/qualities of those guys, BUT think of my young male audience! They don't care about romance. They'd probably hate it if I decide to capitalize on Nami seeing their good qualities as romantic, right? After all, only girls want it! It must only be them for asking this!" What I am saying isn't even me grasping at straws, it's RIGHT THERE. "I don't think there will be romance in the crew cause boys will not like it". Bam, that's all it is. I know I am repeating myself but it seriously bears repeating because of how so many people see that one answer in particular as the ultimate evidence against Mugiwara romance. Oda seems like he's being evasive on purpose with that answer, talking about how concerned he is about the opinions of boys while not once talking about whether or not he would like to write it or not.

Also for the love of everything can we get someone who has the untranslated version of this answer? Given how Japanese language works I would not be surprised in the slightest if he's even more evasive than in VIZ's translation.

How people come to the conclusion that he’s disgusted by the very idea of a Mugiwara couple being a thing is beyond me when it’s as clear as day that he opens his mouth about “his readers” and “his audience” for a reason.

I mean hell, Strong World was originally going to be a movie about Nami’s past and the reason he changed it was because of how he kept his TARGET AUDIENCE in mind. He kept the young boys he appealed to in mind despite clearly wanting to write something else at first.

Him pleasing his audience doesn’t equal “I really don’t want this to be a thing”. If anything, he restricts his desires purely on the basis that he thinks whatever he wants to write is not what other people want, why the hell wouldn't you think this applies to the idea of "no romance in the crew" when he literally spoonfed us the reason being exactly that in the earlier photo of the Jump Fests '09 interview?

He clearly wants to avoid it because of this idea that his male audience will take issue with it and not because he doesn’t wanna do it himself. This why he said “Seriously!?” all surprised when Aoyama said he wouldn’t leave if he decided to implement romance into his story, and he was saying this to a man who writes romance and has already said “I love romantic comedies” 2 sentences ago. Oda is THAT unsure of himself and he's THAT much under the impression that males have no interest in romance. I rarely if ever see people bring this up.

There's a sense of insecurity Oda has on the topic of romance. When Aoyama said “I guess you have no interest in love comedies” Oda didn’t say yes or even imply that he's right about that being the case. He just said “I’m not confident I could draw those, it's a bit embarrassing” Again, he's insecure about it. Not AGAINST it. He basically spells it out for you. But many people still pretend as if he's saying all of this because he's supposedly disgusted by romance among the crew being a thing, only because that made up narrative supports what THEY want to be the case, instead of looking into the actual reason for as to why he's saying all these things.

As I said before, almost every single time he is hesitant to write romance he mentions his audience, but in the situations he doesn't bring up his audience, he instead mentions how he's embarrassed to do it. I mean when asked in a 2019 interview with Oda, he was embarrassed when asked if he incorporates arguments with his wife into how Nami argues, perhaps showcasing how he's embarrassed to talk about his wife (ya know, the person he loves) in other words, the person he's romantically attached to. This is definitely a stretch so I'm not saying that I seriously think that this is more proof on how he's embarrassed/insecure about romance, but I figured it was worth bringing up. But embarrassment aside, he also cares a lot about his manga keeping face to his boy audience.

This leads me to the next thing… Oda’s involvement with the movies. Notice how, every single time he’s involved with writing the plot there’s always some LuNami stuff he wants to throw in there?

Strong World obviously, as well as parts of Film: Gold. Now, at first things seem… odd. The LuNami hints between the two in those films are quite a bit more on the nose than anything Oda has written in the manga, like a oh-so clear parallel between Tesoro and Luffy. At first it puzzled me why Oda would relegate these stories and moments to movies. And then, if you read the Aoyama interview, things start to make sense why he approaches things this way.

Movies aren’t treated as a main part of the story by people, it’s not the manga. You have to go out of your way to see the movie. There's no need to watch the movie to understand One Piece's main manga story. Look at the contrast between Chapter 0 and Strong World itself. Chapter 0 is manga content and it seems so much more concerned with the action and hype the young boys are there for (obviously cause it takes place decades before the current canon but that was a deliberate choice, it could've easily been like how Glorious Island, being a prequel to Film Z, was contemporary to the story). While there still is a bunch of that hype/action in the movie itself, there are also romantic elements thrown in there. It's kind of like Oda's experimenting, testing the waters with those movies. It makes sense for him to approach it this way. People who so happen to hate the addition of (LuNami) romance are willing to let things slide and overlook it because said romance is in a movie they don't have to watch.

So basically a non-mandatory-to watch movie provides Oda with more leeway, or rather makes him more comfortable to add what he wants, allowing him to put just a little bit of obvious romantic themes revolving LuNami.

Although it’s just a BIT of leeway, as Oda still kept the young boys in mind as he, of course, changed the movie from what it was originally supposed to be from something darker to something more light-hearted.

Here's where we get to the main point of this long wall of text: After three seconds. See, this could have easily, EASILY been animated into the movie, it’s as simple as having a 1 minute scene of everyone hearing the final part of the message, it could have easily been the post-credits scene, heck 1 minute is probably a lot more than what was necessary to show after three seconds animated. So why did it not happen in the movie? Probably because Nami was blushing.

Blushing is the most cliché and obvious way to tell if someone is into someone else (unless it’s physical like kissing). Oda, likely due to him keeping his young male audience in mind, relegated it to something even MORE obscure than a movie you don't necessarily have to watch, instead of through said movie, it’s through… these pin things? I honestly don’t even know what the heck it’s supposed to be. I know that One Piece Color Walk 6 featured it...

...but I don’t know the origin of this or how it was distributed before the color walk. Was it given to people in theaters? Was this purchasable merch? Did it come with the DVD/Blu-Ray as an extra? There's so little information online on where in the world this came from, and that just goes to show how oddly obscure it is, as if Oda did this on purpose just so that as little people would find about it. As if he thinks “Okay my intentions will be too obvious if this gets put in the movie itself, let me try something else”. It makes sense given how he's clearly shy about the whole romance thing as I explained earlier. Of course in the movie proper Sanji still mentions the whole love message thing but without Nami explicitly blushing at Luffy hearing it, naysayers can easily just interpret it as one of Sanji's self-serving delusions as always, as Nami doesn't show explicit emotions (blushing) giving away that it's really a love message.

Yes, everything I am saying about this isn't some guaranteed factual info or whatever, but this makes WAY too much sense. He had no reason to make this featuring Nami blushing but he did anyway, like it’s a way for him to draw what he wanted without being overly concerned with his demographic at large getting to see this, you know. And it worked! For example, a lot of the LuNami naysayers point out how the message wasn't romantic and they all say it without the knowledge of After three seconds. Oda did a good job with keeping this art on the down low because let's be honest, who outside of the shipping community or people analyzing shipping to insane degrees (me right now) even know about after three seconds? Exactly.

And by the way, you can’t even say that Nami is blushing out of embarassment for everyone hearing it. In that artwork where she blushed, she knows damn well at that point that the only person on the ship who didn't hear the last part is Luffy, so she’s clearly blushing because of how LUFFY SPECIFICALLY heard it, she blushes once she’s realized that he heard it, it’s that straightforward. And Oda wrote Nami saying "It's embarrassing!" in reference to the message.

Oda is the same man who is embarrassed to write very on the nose romance. Not saying "Oh dude this totally means Oda is projecting how he feels writing after three seconds/the ending of Strong World onto Nami by making her say it's embarrassing meaning he sees this as romantic because HE is embarrassed about romance!" ....Well okay I totally AM saying that buuut I am not saying that it's actually true. I just wanted to bring it up lol.

Another perfect example of relegating obvious romantic things to obscure content is a certain sketch. And it’s in the heroine novel, obviously aimed at girls instead of boys, and oh would you look at that:

Oda does a complete 180 and features Nami with Luffy’s hat on with a HEART IN HER HAND… seriously, how more obvious can this sketch get? It can't! And it doesn't need to be subtle this time! Oda knows that on average more girls are going to care about romance so why be subtle here? In the past he said specifically that he thinks girl readers keep asking him questions related to romance, as I clearly said before, and this here novel is targeted at girls as opposed to boys. There’s no reason for Luffy’s hat to be on her, especially because, well, he has nothing to do with Nami's novel, it's not like he plays a role in it. Nami post-timeskip is pretty much never seen wearing his hat before this sketch, making it very peculiar for him to draw her like this here on something aimed towards girls, the demographic he keeps mentioning "loves romance and keeps asking me to include it in One Piece". Seriously, the ONE TIME to bring it back in like, a decade, and it’s done like this? It feels ridiculous to call people crazy for thinking it has to mean something given all the context I have provided.

I mean, notice how in the main manga storyline, Nami hasn’t had his since SKYPIEA??? Hell, even then, she has only had it on her head once in the main manga in Arlong Park, yet Oda made Nami wear the hat in color spreads, which are treated as not important at all by a lot of readers. Color spreads by casual or young readers are usually looked at like “Huh cool artwork I guess, not going to extensively think about it though”, again giving Oda a liiitttle bit more leeway than his main manga story. Why else do you think that Luffy and Nami are CONSISTENTLY portrayed as King and Queen in color spreads and not the main manga storyline? Because from Oda's perspective it gives naysayers or the boys who in his mind supposedly hate romance leeway to say "Oh it's just a color spread! Just fun little aesthetic stuff!", in other words, nothing to take seriously. If he wrote it into his main manga story he would have to explain why Luffy and Nami would dress up as King and Queen too, again making things a loooot more explicit depending on the way he goes about it, and he's already insecure about it, so.... I'm just saying.

Also come on, there has to be a reason why Oda has portrayed Nami with Luffy’s hat plenty of times after Skypiea yet none of those times were in the story proper, just like the movies he's involved in being heavily focused on Nami herself or LuNami. He himself wrote Tesoro and Stella's romance, he himself said that ROMANCE WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR FILM: GOLD yet is much more adamant about romance being included in his manga storyline and it was HIS idea to parallel the romance for Tesoro/Stella that he wrote with Luffy/Nami. Almost as if he is less concerned with a certain audience for the movies and side material than he his for his manga... Nah, that's ridiculous!

Isn’t it just weird how a lot of the side content Oda makes/is involved in is more on the nose with shipping hints? To me it seems like his thought process is “Okay! I can finally do something I want to! I want to make a movie about Luffy saving Nami with a few romantic undertones thrown in there… I could’ve easily made an arc like this in the manga but, can’t let my main audience be disappointed, can I?” Arlong Park and Skypiea are the only times in the manga in which Nami gets to be saved by Luffy. (Funnily enough they’re both are the only times in the main story where Luffy gives Nami his hat.) Both arcs were so long ago. It just seems to me like he wrote Strong World and the romance aspect of Film: Gold to scratch his “Nami gets saved by Luffy” itch. Even with the Zou hug being a thing, it is not something that Oda puts emphasis on at all, it’s pretty zoomed out in the manga, as if he is avoiding any overly direct intimacy that the readers he’s catering to would catch on to. It’s all too suspicious to me.

All this isn't to say that Oda doesn't do any LuNami stuff in the main manga storyline, it just that he's not mega obvious with it at all and doesn't plan to include said mega obvious hints as long as his concern with his boy audience remains there. So it doesn't invalidate any LuNami hints that people think happened in the manga like Nami blushing over the CPR Reiju gave (naysayers could easily say she was just shocked unlike Strong World where it's blatantly her blushing over Luffy hearing what Sanji called a "love message") or things that are more subtle like Nami's "I don't want to marry yet" in Thriller Bark, I'm just saying that cliché hints of romance is what he would like to avoid, something cliché enough that his shounen audience would figure out.

As a side note, Oda's "People seem so supportive of couples!" is also interesting as before his Aoyama interview he always knew/thought that girls are always the ones ask him for romance and as such of course he would know the female demographic would care more about it, so this surprise about people seeming supportive of couples may or may not be him realizing that it's not just girls who are interested, but perhaps boys too. Of course we all know that Oda drew Luffy and Nami together for Aoyama, the author he just talked about romance with. Now again not saying "Oh man this HAS to be a LuNami hint!" because they talked about much more than just romance, but still, something to consider!

Oda's "Ah, seriously!?" is still funny to me when Aoyama said he won't leave if One Piece were to include romance, despite Aoyama writing romance in Detective Conan, interesting reaction from Oda given how Aoyama literally said "I like love comedies" just earlier. As if to convince himself that Aoyama is writing the romance in his story to pander to his female audience instead of doing it because he likes doing it. Anyway I think I am digressing.

I think my theory may hold some water, but hey if you disagree, that’s totally fine. I’m not the best at articulating myself so the way I talked about some things here may just be seen as completely wrong, but hey, that’s okay! If you have something to add, you can do so. I know there will be people disagreeing with me, including even some LuNami fans, but again, I don't mind at all.

My verdict is this: Oda likes the idea of LuNami but due to his concern with his target audience, he won’t make any obvious advances that young boys would pick up on and as a result, tries to sneak in more obvious hints into supplementary/more obscure content like Movies, After three seconds, a sketch, etc. because people take those less seriously/not at face value like stuff that happens inside the manga's story, so only puts more subtle or non-cliché hints in his manga and the less subtle ones in secondary material. (I mean seriously dude, wearing Luffy's hat with a heart in your hand? A romance parallel in a movie? Blushing at the "love message" being heard? Come on, that so much more on the nose than anything in the entire manga)

I guess you can say there are layers to how far Oda is willing to go to show LuNami more explicitly lol. The more of a low profile he think he has from his boy readers, the more explicit it'll be. That is seriously a trend I have been noticing from him.

Honestly, with all this being said and done, I think the only way he will feel totally at ease with including explicit LuNami romance is if he is convinced that his boy audience doesn't mind romance at all and wouldn't leave in salt, bitterness and passive aggression.

I think One Piece will continue to be written like this without on the nose romance. The best we can hope for is a sudden LuNami ending once the story is over, because 1. By then he stops writing One Piece and doesn't need to be walking on eggshells to please his audience and 2. Romance not being written doesn't necessarily mean characters won't end up together as BF/GF, husband/wife. Portraying romance is simply showing us the way that lead to the BF/GF husband/wife relationship in the first place.

Keep in mind that the whole interpretation I have about Oda's portrayal romance and LuNami could be entirely wrong!

To talk about the "Boys don't like romance" thing, I'm a man, and look, I wrote all of this stupid shit. To me it's funny that he still is under the wrong impression that all, or at least most, boys don't like romance. I am not a shipper of everything in fiction myself, LuNami is one of the few ships I even care about. If your audience grows attached enough to a series they would get attached to the characters too, this attachment can lead to a desire of wanting to see these characters be more, that is how I started to love LuNami. I think a decent amount of male One Piece fans feel the same way, for guys like me liking a ship usually takes a slow burn, whereas, usually from what I observe, women ship things much quicker than guys. I also feel less willing at expressing my love for a ship, a big part of it being that guys just "support" a ship instead of going balls to the wall insane for a ship with a million essays about how great the ship is, on top of that they almost always support the ships I think are lame where it's stupid one-sided love for 95% of the story (For example, Western men support LuHan so much more than LuNami on average it's not even funny) For a long time I was sitting in the back, keeping my interest in LuNami to myself. And what better way to "come out the shipping closet" I guess you can say, than to make... whatever the hell I wrote here? I don't know man at this point I'm so drained I'm starting to doubt that anything I even said here made any sense, I just flung all the things stored in brain at this post so it may be all over the place but whatever!

Hope you loved reading this regardless! See ya!

[fearandhatred]

thank u so much to my beloveds @crowleys-bentley-and-plants and @seven-stars-in-his-palm for tagging me, kissing u both for this omg <3 i'm doing two of each because i can

For as many as you want of your published works, pick your favourite line/paragraph and post it up here. Let yourself feel proud of your creations.

transitional heart taxidermy [5986 words, wip]

They fit so perfectly together, the both of them, always. Not side by side like pieces of a puzzle, no, but like molten lava over sand; one over the other, one mellowing the other, changing its chemistry into something different, stronger, useful. The kiss tastes of Aziraphale, of copper and saliva and something holy. It's a taste he'll come to get used to, bloodied and bruised, a taste he chases after as the angel pulls back.

and one from an unpublished chapter:

It's been a day, two, maybe three. His hands are stained with blood and phantom glass, reeking of alcohol and rot palpable enough to taste. Aziraphale doesn't come for him, and he feels relief but also a pain so deep it's paralysing. It's a revelation in itself.

blood in my eyes [1953 words]

This is the first time in years he has stepped foot back into this place. It's a spontaneous decision, driven by a mellow melancholy and a soft wistful night. Muriel isn't in, so the bookshop is dark, and the streetlights cast an eerie, lonely glow on the ancient hardbacks. The rearing statue that once held his glasses every other day is coated in a thin layer of dust; he leaves them on.

Crowley wipes away a tear from Aziraphale's cheek with his thumb. It leaves a bright red streak. After, hours pass by before Aziraphale washes the blood from his face, imprinted in the vague shape of Crowley's hand. In those hours, when he sits in the quiet of a bookshop once again burned to ash, the blood stays there as a reminder, maybe, or as punishment.

sub-consequence [11567 words, wip] — six of crows

He wants to say everything he could possibly say to persuade Kaz to change his mind, because if he says everything in the world, strings together every word in every possible combination, there has to be at least one thing that would convince him to stay.

Sometimes Inej thinks Kaz cares about himself less than he cares about getting what he wants. It feels sometimes as if he's completely detached from himself, his own person becoming just another means to an end. People would scream at her that this isn't selflessness. It's ruthlessness, or psychopathy, or numbness. That's how the name Dirtyhands came about, after all. The willingness to do anything no matter the cost. To get his hands dirty with blood, be it others' or his own. But what is selflessness, really? A lack of selfishness, or a loss of self?

to sleep, perchance to dream [662 words] — the sandman

God, Calliope. His heart, face of cloud fields and white lily springs, a hope so blinding in contrast to his shadowed being that he had known from the start the hands of The Fates would pull them apart to opposite poles.

His lifetime of constraint allowed him to face the knowledge that any selfish will to see her in the wake of remembering all he had forsaken, all that had been ripped from him, would seal the vestibules to acceptance and he would beg with no dignity to stay by her side. And his heart burned, scorched unpleasantly at her parting words, just as the skin she touched and had once touched long after she was twice gone.

tagging those whose words i'd love to see (no pressure!!): @actual-changeling @sentientsky @irispurpurea @springofviolets @demonsandpieohmy

[darlingpoppet]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

Thanks Jo and also to @onionjuggler for tagging me, sorry for answering so late </3 (wait since I got tagged twice should I go ahead and self-rec 5 more fics after this or is that too self-indulgent even for me??) Ah well :)

I’m not really sure what order to put these in, so I’ll just list them chronologically!

Pressed Flowers (Shingeki no Kyojin, Eruri, T)

This was the first fic I managed to get over the finish line after years of having no idea how to build a bridge to the creative writing island in my brain, and thanks to the momentum created by this one I’ve been publishing new fics regularly ever since. In a weird way this still feels like my best written fic because you know that phenomenon when you’re in the weeds developing a skill and at times you feel like you’re getting worse, in a “the more you learn, the less you know” kind of way? This was the fic where I felt the least self-conscious about my abilities so I was able to just express all the ideas I wanted to convey without thinking too hard about any of it, and idk sometimes that can be an asset to the final product (the word flow probably needs improvement though lol.) But also I’m just fond of the perfect, peaceful moment I was able to create for Eruri here.

Upon A Lazy Bed (TSOA, Patrochilles, M)

Whenever I get into a new piece of media or a new ship I really just like to stew in it for a few months, because in a way whatever you post first will be a treatise of sorts on how you view the thing… and yeah so anyway this is what I came up with after snorting pure uncut Patrochilles for the first six months of shipping it (even if Once More ending up beating it to the finish line so I guess that’s the real Patrochilles treatise, lol.) I like this one because I was able to try something new, especially because the narrative voice of TSOA was still in my head at the time so it was a fun challenge to replicate it to some degree (this is still my only 1st person pov fic to date.) I felt myself leveling up as a writer as I was working on it too, which is always a cool feeling.

Where The Dead Forget (Hades, Patrochilles, M-E)

This fic is still ongoing and even what I’ve published so far is just the iceberg tip belying all the effort and ink spilled for it for almost two years now, but I guess that’s why it’s my baby haha. Usually when I post a fic, a huge motivating factor for me is I want to hopefully add something new with my perspective and/or otherwise give myself everything I want in a story. With WTDF however my primary goal from the beginning has been taking a popular fandom trope and just simply trying to stretch my wings with long-form storytelling (because of course as expected, it has only gotten more complex and bigger in scope lol.) I think sometimes I undersell it by saying this story isn’t that original and doesn’t have any hot takes, but tbh as time has passed I’ve started to gain a perspective and an angle for it, and it has already helped launch a lot of really interesting conversations with other Patrochilles fans, so that in itself more than justifies its existence for me! The best part of a serial fic is having others going on the ride with you so I’ll always be extending the invitation to have more come along until of course I finally finish it in 2069 :)

Closest To My Heart (Hades, PZA, E)

There’s probably an undercurrent of melancholy running through a lot of my stories, considering the source materials I like working with, but this was probably the first time I got to make a story outright unsettling. I think I’ve often talked this one up as my favorite to write as well as my favorite as a finished piece so I’m almost not sure what else I can say about it but there’s just something about PZA that lights up my brain like a Christmas tree, it gives me so many wild ideas and makes me want to keep exploring these highly intense emotional states. And I love that this one was born out of those unhinged fandom group chat conversations where it’s just riffing on pure collective id until someone goes “fuck it, I’m writing this!” (And that someone in this case was me lol.)

See No ****, Hear No **** (Hades, Patrochilles, E)

I think I’m lucky that most of my own writing I personally like have also been crowd pleasers (or idk who knows maybe the reception is indeed a big factor in my estimation of quality because the in the end the “popular=good” drug is a hard habit to break, lol.) But this is definitely one I can point to and say the audience here is probably much more limited and I still think it rules :) I had a lot of fun with the concept of creating essentially two different stories out of the exact same scene because different sensory deprivations affected how each character experienced it. And also I wrote it as a gift, meaning there was that much extra love put into it! I may do a lot of serious academic reading & research about classical texts for Patrochilles but at the end of the day I was raised in the dark fandom, molded by it, and sometimes that means you just gotta turn your blorbos into holes no matter how many millennia of highfalutin academic tradition exists behind them uwu I will say though this fic probably has THE highest kudos to bookmark ratio of all my fics so I tend to think Squidward DOES like krabby patties but no worries, y’all keep your secrets ;)

Honorable Mention: I think I’m with @baejax-the-great who said your favorite story is always the one you’re currently working on, which for me means my upcoming modern au pza fic, Liminal Spaces (aka the pza dreamers au). But since it’s still unfinished and unpublished, I can’t properly recommend it, lol. Who knows how I’ll feel about it by the time it’s done but I’m having a lot of fun writing it so I hope y’all will enjoy it too <3

[londonhalcyon]

Fic Writer Interview (20 Questions)

This tag game passed by twice, once in January (because apparently this post has been sitting in my drafts that long) and again several months later, so forgive me for not remembering who to tag! These questions seem fun, so if anyone wants to join, feel free to say I tagged you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20 at the moment, with plenty more WIPs.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

480,895 words and counting.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Not counting TMW bonus content, the top 5 are:

The Mad Witch (758 kudos)

"The Scarlett Cauldron" (77 kudos)

"Fear Itself" (76 kudos)

"The Most Powerful Witch" (72 kudos)

"Piper's Best Worst Day" (57 kudos)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I love engaging with my readers and other members of the fandom. Every comment always makes my whole day. Life gets busy sometimes, so I don't always have the time to respond to every single one, but I definitely see and appreciate all of them!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Usually my fics have fairly hopeful endings, but "3 Years Ago," a pre-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect fic might fit the bill. Sometime in the future, it has the potential to be topped by "Will of the People," a Fallout 4 WIP that revolves around the Diamond City anti-ghoul riots.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My Secret Santa fics, "It's Not the Fall" and "Flawed Phials," definitely have the fluffiest endings!

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I get rude or condescending comments on occasion from people who don't know how to hit the back button and/or are unfamiliar with fandom etiquette, though nothing actively malicious. The one time I received a transphobic/homophobic message in response to TMW it was private (if it was public, I would have deleted it; I don't give a platform to that kind of thing at all), and honestly I hope that person is in a better place now because they really didn't seem okay at the time. I'm fortunate that the vast majority of my readers and mutuals are such wonderfully amazing and kind people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, BUT, before you get too excited, not in The Mad Witch. Smut is by definition graphic, and TMW has a Teen rating that shall remain unchanged.

The smut scenes I've drafted so far (F/F and F/M) are for my Rosemary Reaper series (post-canon Fallout 4 WIP). Those fics will all be rated Mature, so while not overly explicit, they'll definitely be spicier than TMW. Maybe I'll share a snippet sometime if there's any demand for it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?? I have long since deleted my Wattpad account, so my fics should only be on AO3. If anyone ever finds one of my fics elsewhere in the wild, please let me know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, which is probably for the best. I would like to make some heavy edits to the beginning of TMW when I'm done with it.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic, though I have co-written a short fantasy story with a friend, with him writing for one POV character and me for another. We agreed on major actions and story beats, but we each kept a major secret that we didn't reveal until after we had written our individual parts. It was a lot of fun (though we were both painfully unskilled at the time).

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't know if I really have one. I have ships I enjoy and characters I like to pair with OCs, though nothing I feel properly obsessive over. This might be a consequence of primarily writing for video game fandoms. But I do have my default game romances: Merula in HPHM, Piper in Fallout 4, Marcurio in Skyrim, etc. I'm also a sucker for unrequited love interests, like Serana in Skyrim and Aveline in Dragon Age 2. The ANGST.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I never want to say never because I'm currently 83,435 words into the last fic I said I would never write. But there are two fics that I'm almost certain I will never finish, which I'm kind of sad about: my post-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect longfic, A Certain Darkness, and my RWBY OC team longfic, DSRT.

I made it just shy of 200,000 words into A Certain Darkness before I had to drop it. My writing skills ended up surpassing the progress I had made, and by the time I realized how many characters, relationships, and plot points were just straight up bad, I had written myself into a corner. I do love Joy and Angel so much, a medium/ghost duo with way more homoerotic tension than my closeted teenage self ever intended. Maybe one day I'll gut the story, drop the characters into a different setting, and make it something original. One day.

DSRT ran into a similar problem, though fortunately I only ever wrote the first few chapters. I could probably reattempt it if I really wanted, but with the overwhelming number of WIPs I already have, it's hard to imagine finding the time. I do miss my team of teenage idiots: Dustin, Saul, Rosemary, and Talos. It was supposed to have a really tragic ending too, which I don't often get to write.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I often receive compliments on how human I make my characters feel, which is the highest honor anyone could give. I've been told my dialogue frequently flows smoothly too.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Conciseness. Why is this post so long omg.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Do it carefully and with necessity. Maybe a character is bilingual and blends languages, so it's part of their characterization. Maybe a password or spell needs to be said in another language because it's old or pretentious. It can work, but it can also be easy to mess up. I personally avoid writing dialogue in languages I don't have a good grasp of, or I try to consult other people if I do (not Google Translate, which sucks).

There's also the matter of if the POV character even understands the language being spoken. If they don't, then I don't write the language out (unless it's a phrase the character is going to learn later on). In these instances, it makes more sense to write something like, "The man muttered a phrase in a language she didn't recognize," or "She fired off something in Spanish, the words too quick to catch."

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars the Clone Wars, baby! I was like ten or eleven. Never published, but my worldbuilding for that longfic (a saga, more like) was insanely elaborate. Alas, another story for the WIP graveyard.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Eventually, I want to get back to my Skyrim WIP, which includes a main Dragonborn/Marcurio ship. Maybe even with a little Dragonborn/Serana infidelity on the side (which Marcurio absolutely does not deserve, the poor guy).

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I mean, I have to say The Mad Witch, don't I? That fic is where my community is, where every time I post a chapter I have a ton of people who get excited about it with me. It is the story I think about constantly, that I have spent literal years writing and daydreaming about. No matter what I've written before or will write since, this will be the defining fic in my journey as a writer.

That, and I have a special fondness for "Case by Case." I just think it's neat.

[galactikburzt]

Oh yeah remember that one post i made about that forbidden testing tracks mod before it came out a while ago

I have decided that I am gonna be this mod's strongest soldier because some people out there are being mean about this mod when there was clearly a lot of passion behind it and it really seems to be someone's first mod ever and like, i do really hope that we get to see new things from the creator in the future because i do see a lot of potential in the mod

Putting my thoughts over the mod in detail under the cut

Personally, I do think that this mod's main issue was that it tried to be way too much at the same time

Which, as someone who likes writing for myself from time to time, I get it. Sometimes you kind of just write something so ambitious that you later realize that its so big for you that you wont be able to manage to get yourself to complete it

The mod has A LOT of mechanics, and I mean A LOT. While I have never had the chance to learn how to build puzzles in portal since my pc is currently not working, I do know a little bit about level design since I am interested in the topic, and also because I do also like messing around on custom level editors whenever I can which was the thing that made me feel interested on level design lol (i really love seeing video essays about gameplay mechanics whenever i can because i do find that very fascinating but that's not the point i am trying to make right now)

Forbidden testing tracks does have lots of mechanics, several multiple types of guns, a dimensional traveling portal sort of, i think, sparks you can jump on, explosive cubes, hell it even has a test room that rotates itself

When you put it out in paper like that it sounds amazing

But the thing is, I can't get myself to mention all of these mechanics, and that's the thing

The mod has so many mechanics, that it is difficult for the player to process all of these new things at the same time

Some of these mechanics appear only once or twice only to not be used ever again

I do think, that whenever you add a new mechanic to a game of any genre, you need to let the player have the chance to process it, learn it, and mess around with it until they get the hang out of it

Let's take a look at the first portal game for example

Im not gonna go into detail about all of the mechanics and how the entire game is constructed because that would be exhausting and too long to write, but I do want to point out the introduction of the portal mechanics

At the very start of the game, we do see the first portal in the game, which we need to use to get out of chell's relaxation vault

We don't have the portal gun in our hands yet, and for a person trying to play for the first time it would be overwhelming to get the gun with both the orange and blue portals at the same time, so the game lets the player get through one portal to walk through to get to the outside of the relaxation vault

And then the player is able to process the main mechanic of the game in that way, you get through one portal and you come out to the other one

There are other tests that do a similar thing to get the player to be used to the portal mechanics and the portal gun

like the test we get after the first one and the test we use to learn how to use the portals to reach higher places, so we can get to learn about stuff like learning where to place portals, how to move around and how do portals work in general, all before we get the two portal gun thing so it can be easier to process for a regular player

(sorry if i am not explaining myself correctly 😭😭😭)

I do think that the mod could benefit itself by focusing on one or two mechanics, like some other mods out there like Aperture tag and Portal Reloaded, who do focus on the gel gun and the time travel mechanics respectively

And speaking of adding way too much, I do think the writing does also suffer from this in a way

So there's this core called SAIC (which is honestly the best part out of the entire mod in my opinion)

I think that the voice acting for him is very good, and I personally Do love his animations as well

When I first saw the trailer I was very excited to see this core in particular, because his lines were delivered very well and I was excited to see more of him in general

but unfortunately, he didn't really get too much dialogue

Yeah, there is this section at the second chapter where we grab him for a bit, but he really just says two small dialogues at the start and at the end

After we meet him, we kind of just hold him for a bit and he doesn't say anything while we walk until we get at his management rail

The game does have a couple walking sections which can feel empty sometimes

I think the game would have benefited from small dialogues through the way while walking these long ways, along with solving some small puzzles outside of the main test chambers, something like the start of portal stories mel with the old aperture which had the player exploring the place without it feeling too lonely thanks to the recordings and later also virgil along the way so the player doesn't feel too lost

There are many things that come off as out of context, we don't really know about SAIC's motivations as far as I can remember and the first half of the game feels very empty, because there's nothing to guide you or give you context

Maybe someone could think that the creator didn't leave too many recordings so the player could feel lonely, but sincerely it is very possible to have a game full of dialogue along the way which also makes you feel isolated, and Portal 1's atmosphere along with GLaDOS having lots of dialogue through every chamber proves it

So while we have the first part of the game being completely empty and out of context, then we have the second half of the game which is overwhelming.

So, let me try to describe it

A lot of nothing happened, i THINK that SAIC was trying to get us to escape, and then GLaDOS catches the player or something and then SAIC apparently dies. And then Wheatley takes over the facility because TURNS OUT that the whole thing is happening at the same time of portal 2

Then things happen i guess and the player just keeps testing because i forgot why, then something happens and we are at the moon and apparently cave johnson is alive and then turns out SAIC's death was a fakeout, and then there's something about Rachel Johnson twin sister of chell because of a something failure???? And then i think everyone just decides to destroy aperture at the end

Just like some of these mechanics out there, there are so many things in the story coming out of nowhere (along with some of these way too into the headcannon territory) that feel out of context, and overwhelming, and then there are some elements which are not used enough or just appear once or twice to not be seen ever again, like SAIC, for example

His voice feels nice to listen to, and I feel like the mod would have benefited itself by having more dialogue and exploring his character with small stuff like him peeping in to say a couple things and adding random comments even if it's just something like a "so... What's your name?" "Hey hey, over here!" Or anything like that

He genuinely should have gotten more screen time, the way his lines were delivered was very nice to hear even if his dialogue was short and the writing could get nonsensical

I think SAIC has the potential to be just impactful as Wheatley if handled correctly, but unfortunately he was set aside even if he was supposed to be one of the main characters because the mod itself was trying to add way too much at the same time, which didn't allow the player to get attached to the story

I think the creator just. Added so much that they couldn't focus on the details of the story

which is understandable because I myself had a couple original stories that never saw the light of the day for the same reason

I realized on the hard way that I was biting off way more than I can chew, because i kept adding more and more, to the point i either had so many characters with no purpose or i couldn't get to work on details because there was too much to work on

So yeah, I do think that sometimes less is more in creative projects, you don't need to be the next super big project immediately, just focus on the essentials and then add the final details later. Try to know the size of your project and keep it in mind, because even short things can be very enjoyable and memorable to experience

With that aside, there's only one question left that I do want to answer

Why

Why do I like this mod so much? What do I see in it for me to call myself the #1 fan of PFTT despite everyone disliking it? Why am I taking the time to write a long essay about a mod that probably no one else aside from me might even like?

Well, I'm pretty sure you have noticed me repeating this one specific word through the whole essay so far:

Potential.

Yeah, the mod is messy both story and gameplay wise, but I think that the mod does have a lot of effort and passion put behind it

I seriously hope that the creator is not gonna end up stopping with doing more content after feeling discouraged by the reactions of all these people

Because I do think that this developer could create for example, the next portal stories mel, or the next aperture tag in the future

Because even if it is very flawed, I think the mod does have it's charm regardless

Yes, it was surreal to watch, it made no sense sometimes, it had lots of things coming out of nowhere, and some other couple things

But I had a good time watching it

I absolutely love SAIC, and when I saw the trailer I KNEW that he would be one of my favourite characters once the mod came out, and I was right

Even if the mod was nothing like what I have expected

I had lots of fun while watching this mod, and sincerely I do wish I was able to play it despite everything

Because it seems like something you could get on a call with a couple friends and talk about it

And ironically even if I can't remember the story, waiting for the mod once the trailer came out, and later watching this mod on a stream through one sitting was one of the most memorable things i could have experienced

I can't stop thinking about SAIC, even if he didn't appear as much as I hoped he would, and even if he didn't have that much time to shine, he has left an impact on me despite everything

When i saw this line in the ending screen while seeing other people's reactions it absolutely broke my heart

I do want to wish lots of luck to the creator, and I genuinely hope to see what they create in the future

And I hope people are gonna be kind to this new creator, because I can tell that this mod clearly had a lot of passion and love behind it

Now, Lastly I do want to apologize if there's anything i have not worded correctly, since English is not my first language

And with that aside, I am gonna end this essay right here (unless there's anything i forgot to mention that i want to edit in the future aha)

Thank you for reading, and have a nice day

[gt-jar]

questions 2, 9, 17 and 20 from the ask game pls?

2. Before I start let me just say that I looove that op included this question!

I mentioned this before, but the reasons why someone likes g/t can vary so much, and this question is such a great example.

Like, the g/t tag is full of people talking about how they wish to be tiny or want to be held by a giant etc and an outsider might think that's something every g/t fan dreams of, and yet that's not the case.

Personally, I never imagine myself in g/t scenarios, nor do I want to be tiny (like HELL NO! But I'm not gonna get into that or else this post is gonna be way too long)

For me it's a characters only thing, because I like the possibilities the extreme size difference aspect has to offer :)

9. Mhhh... there was a post about this in the tags not too long ago that I wanted to reblog and add my two cents, but I forgot to like it and I'm too lazy to search for it... anyway!

I don't like it when the tiny is too tiny. A personal pet peeve of mine is the sentence ".... the size of their pinky", every time I read this I look at my hand and think 'yeah no that's too small for my liking'. I'm mean to be fair I don't have the biggest hands, but still-!

Same goes for the giant I guess. I feel like anything over 100 ft is too big, but idk.

At the same time I don't really care about the exact size difference between the characters when it comes to writing (art is obviously a different thing). Maybe that's because I'm soooo fucking bad at imagining different sizes.

Also don't let me start about the different measurement types.

17. Uh... that's something I never really thought about. When I post prompts I use the general terms (giant/tiny) most of the time, and sometimes human and borrower/tiny, when the scenario only makes sense if the tiny character is a borrower. Though, I feel like the terms giant and tiny are too vague sometimes, if that makes sense?

Bean is a term I never use (or maybe I used it once or twice and can't remember?). Don't really have a reason not to use it, I don't mind it when other people use it, I guess it's just not my thing.

But what is my thing is the term little one!

I personally love it, but I can understand why some of you might not like it :)

20. I don't know if I'm gonna go into the g/t community related stuff (mostly because there currently isn't an issue that I'm aware of), but here is a g/t media hot take.

I don't like Arrietty.

Yes, it's a ghibli movie and the art is beautiful.

But I think the movie itself is boring af. I saw it once and I'm not interested in watching it ever again. Unless it's a specific scene(s) for inspo or something.

It's great if you wanna explain g/t to someone who doesn't know what g/t is in a non-awkward way tho, because everyone likes or at least knows ghibli :)

[sloanerisette]

Ok, I wanted to get this up for Pride Month, but a lot was going on, including me changing what I wanted to write a few times, but I finally got something!

Tbh I've had a headcanon of trans guy Davis ever since my 02 rewatch a few years back, mostly sparked by an line from the Adventure 02 dub where Davis loudly and happily proclaims himself as "one of the guys" after getting the Digi-Egg of Friendship. I love that moment and it has just, cemented itself as a headcanon for me. So uh, you can check it out at the link, or I'll post it under a read more, and I hope y'all enjoy!

Summary: After an excited outburst the day prior, Davis finally decides to tell their group of DigiDestined just who he is. Tags: Trans Male Character, Coming Out, Post Episode 11 (The Storm of Friendship), Dub names

Yesterday had been exhausting, with rescuing Agumon from the Digimon Emperor— from Ken Ichijouji— and getting a second Digi-Egg. That was just scratching the surface of it, too, considering all the shouting that had gone on between him and TK and him and Matt.

But amidst all the fighting and the chaos and the frustration, there had been one thing that he continued to turn over in his mind ever since they got back to their world.

Tai had called him a good friend. Matt gave him a noogie. It was everything he could’ve dreamed of. In his sheer happiness he couldn’t help but shout out to his partner that he really was one of the guys now.

And that had been burned into his thoughts ever since. Even at dinner, and even well after DemiVeemon had fallen asleep and he stared at the ceiling in the dark.

Tai had always been one of the few people to truly respect him and accept who he was, but to get that same respect from Matt, one of the two coolest people he knew? He really was on cloud nine.

But just as much as he had been on cloud nine, his brain had been in overdrive thinking ever since he had shouted out “I’m one of the guys now!”

Was now the time to tell everyone? Out of all the DigiDestined, only Tai and Kari knew. Kari insisted that the others would accept him, would also still see him the same, but as he was on his way to school, still munching on a piece of toast, he couldn’t help but wonder.

As much as he didn’t like TK, he knew he wasn’t a bad person. Cody was a strange kid who he could never get a read on, but he wasn’t a bad kid by any means— the furthest thing from it, really. And Yolei… Well, she was loud, brash, and liked to rag on him, but only when he aggravated her first. If he told them, it wouldn’t go bad… right? Certainly not like with his dad, right?

It had gone so well with Tai and Kari. He still remembered the after school soccer game he met the siblings at, when he loudly told them his name was Davis and that he was a boy. He had found a hero and a friend in an instant, and whenever there was trouble with his own parents, he was always welcome at the Kamiya household. Maybe the food wasn’t the tastiest, but there was always a lot of it, at least.

He knew he had a friend and supporter in Kari no matter what, but he couldn’t help but be… scared when he thought about telling everyone else.

Kari was standing by the gates to the school, and as soon as he saw her, the smile on his face grew twice as wide and he ran over.

“Hey! Kari!” he shouted to her, putting his hands on his legs to keep himself standing and steady while he caught his breath. She laughed gently at how he nearly tripped over to reach her between the crowd of other students arriving, and as he looked up at her, that beaming smile was still on his face.

“How are you holding up after yesterday?” she asked. Davis let out a long groan.

“Ugh, I’m so tired. Armor Digivolving is tough work.”

DemiVeemon popped his head out of Davis’s backpack, “Hey! I was the one who actually Digivolved!” he squeaked out. Davis turned his head to look at his partner, a guilty, sheepish smile on his face.

“W-Well I had to pick up the Digi-Egg!” he stammered out, feeling his face go flush.

Kari couldn’t help but laugh, which caused Davis to get distracted from his playful spat with his Digimon partner.

“What about you?” he asked, shooting her a kind smile.

“I’m alright. I probably could’ve slept all day,” she sighed, “Tai’s doing good, at least. I’m really relieved about that.”

“That’s good, but you should make sure you get your rest! We can take a day off from the Digital World after how badly we just beat that stupid Emperor,” Davis said, clenching a fist in determination, which DemiVeemon copied.

“Do you have to shout about the Digimon Emperor and the Digital World loud enough for everyone to hear?”

Davis recognized Yolei’s voice anywhere, and he felt himself start to deflate from how triumphant he felt just a few moments ago.

She, TK, and Cody walked over, with their own Digimon poking out of their backpacks.

“I swear, with how loud you are, everyone is gonna know about the Digital World,” Yolei sighed. Kari and TK couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I mean, I kind of agree with him about taking the day off,” TK shrugged, “We could use at least one day after dealing with everything that happened with Agumon.

“It would be nice…” Cody mused, putting his hand to his chin in thought, “I haven’t been able to train with grandpa nearly as much lately…”

“Well, thanks for so graciously giving us the day off,” Kari teased. Davis rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Well I’m happy to help, Kari! Anytime!” he said, following up with a loud laugh that caused numerous other students to look their way.

Yolei clapped her hands, “Ok! Day off!” she whooped in triumph, before pausing for a moment, her expression slowly fading, “…Ugh, no excuse to get out of work now,” she groaned. Iori patted her on the arm.

“I’m sure you’ll survive,” he told her, voice surprisingly sincere despite Yolei’s overdramatic cries.

The bell rang shortly after, and the group— minus Davis— started to walk towards the school building. Davis shuffled in place nervously, hands clenched as he tried to will himself to speak.

“Are you ok, Davis?” DemiVeemon asked quietly, poking his partner’s shoulder. Davis stayed quiet, sucking in a silent breath.

“H-Hey guys! Hold on a sec!” he shouted out, still glued in place as his friends turned to look at him.

“What’s up, Davis?” Kari asked, pausing as soon as she saw the look on his face.

“There was just, uh… something I wanted to talk about,” he said, voice quiet as he felt his stomach tie up in a knot.

“I don’t want to be late, Davis!” Yolei groaned, letting out a squeak as Kari gently bumped her in the side with her elbow.

Davis took a deep breath, slowly stepping forward as his friends looked at him. This was it.

“So, uh…” Why were words so hard to think of, especially now, especially in this moment? Why had it been so easy with his hero and his crush, but he couldn’t get the words out with his friends? His eyes darted to Kari, who gave him a warm, gentle smile.

“Whatever you have to say, you don’t have to worry. You can talk to us about anything,” she said, in that sweet tone she always spoke with to reassure someone. The same tone she spoke with when he first told her a few years ago.

He could do this.

“So, uh,” he started again, wringing his hands together nervously, “I haven’t told a lot of people this, but I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday, and, uh… I wanted to let you all know that I’m a guy.”

He did it. It suddenly felt like a massive weight was pulled off his shoulders.

“But I thought we already knew that,” his partner said from his perch on Davis’s shoulder. Davis’s face burned crimson, suddenly feeling stupid at the fact that he had basically said nothing.

However, Cody’s eyes shone with recognition, something Davis didn’t catch as he grit his teeth in frustration.

“Wh-What I mean is that, I wasn’t, like, born as a guy, I guess? Like I shoulda been, but I wasn’t, and when I realized that I just started… being a guy. And I was thinking about yesterday with everything that happened and… I just wanted to let you guys know.”

All the students had filed into the school now, just leaving their small group standing there. The silence was deafening, and Davis was mortified that maybe he had messed up. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, maybe Kari was wrong and this wasn’t a good idea…

Could they all hurry up and say something already!?

“It’s really brave of you to tell us, Davis,” Cody spoke up finally, “Kari is right, you can tell us anything, and we’ll always be here for you. If anyone gives you trouble, I’ll deal with them for you.”

Cody spoke with such conviction, and Davis couldn’t help but feel warm at how forthright the youngest member of the group was. Davis wasn’t entirely sure how Cody felt about him most times, but a gentle flush crept onto his face at how… nice it felt that he was so kind.

“Hey, wait, I don’t need you to deal with anyone! I can do it myself!” Davis shot back, clenching his hands into fists as he stamped a foot down. Kari couldn’t help but giggle.

“I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us, Davis,” TK said as he strode forward, placing a hand on Davis’s shoulder that didn’t have a Digimon on it. “You’ll always be one of the guys, and you’ll always be our friend,” he added, flashing him a smile.

“Th-Thanks, dude,” Davis said with a shaking voice. Ok, so maybe TK was annoying, and knew Kari way too well, and showed him up with how much he knew about Digimon, but maybe he wasn’t that bad.

Yolei awkwardly shuffled forward, hands clasped behind her back, gaze focused on the ground, unable to meet his eyes. She kicked at the ground, taking a moment of silence before she cleared her throat.

“I’m really happy for you. A-And what they said. And, like, if I ever said anything that like, was rude about it, then I’m really sorry,” she said. Davis raised an eyebrow in confusion at her, then shook his head.

“What? No, you haven’t! Don’t worry,” he said, folding his arms after and shooting her a grin, “I could handle anything you would throw my way, anyways.”

Yolei offered him a weak, lopsided smile, “Well, still, I want you to know that I wouldn’t ever want to like, you know, not respect that.” She paused, “I’ll still give you crap, but not about that. Promise.”

“Thanks.”

“I, uh, need to head to class now,” Yolei said, immediately turning on her heel and sprint off to the school building, “I’ll see you guys later!”

TK gave Davis another pat on the shoulder before he ran off, too, Cody following him at a more relaxed pace. Davis started to walk foward, letting out a content sigh as he met up with Kari.

“I told you there would be nothing to worry about,” she said.

“Hahaha, I knew it would! Totally!” he said, putting his hands behind his head as they made their way along.

“I’m proud of you, too.”

The smile left his heart pounding in his chest, and he gave her a beaming smile, forcing out a laugh. “Th-Thanks, Kari. You know, it always means a lot how much you’ve supported me and stuff So thanks for that, too.”

DemiVeemon poked Davis in the ear, “Hey, I’m proud of you, too!” the small Digimon said.

Davis laughed, “Thanks buddy, that means a lot.”

“I didn’t realize humans could Digivolve, too! We can both Digivolve!” DemiVeemon cheered. Davis couldn’t help but laugh.

“I guess I can, huh? You hear that, Kari? I can Digivolve, too!” he said, laughing louder than before.

Turning into something better and stronger and more… him?

Yeah, he liked the sound of that.

[absolutezerotolerance]

Gruvians: It's just fiction! stop taking it so seriously! Also Gruvians: writes long metas on why the ship is brilliant, stalks accounts they were blocked by to bitch about said account not liking their ship, stalks posts they disagree with & vehemently reading the tags within each reblog of said posts & treats head canons such as a Gray liking Lucy & Erza first before Juvia as some sort of personal attack against them.

A large part of the GrUvia fanbase seems to be built on insecurity, and I think that for exactly the reasons you mentioned.

The GrUvia ship has come under a lot more scrutiny than most other ships in Fairy Tail, and I think it's resulted in them being completely unwilling to think about their ship in any kind of nuance.

One of our friends once mentioned that they don't support the ship in one of the most innocent ways possible, and it led to several days worth of battling with GrUvia fans and explaining her stance and why she was justified in her opinion. It got to the extent that she had to explicitly state that she would not be responding to any more asks because she didn't want her blog to become known for being anti-GrUvia. Just for stating an opinion. That is how quick the ship's fanbase are to anger.

You're either supportive and unequivocally good, or you're not and you must be attacked.

We've seen evidence that this has even extended over their ability to think critically about each other. We've received asks about how there is a psychologist in the GrUvia fanbase who thinks that the ship is healthy, and one of our admins was in the fandom when the whole GrUvia University thing went down. If I was a GrUvia fan, I would be disgusted by how they're treating people.

They cannot handle the idea that there is a space that exists in the Fairy Tail fandom that doesn't welcome them. Whenever we post things with the tagline "GRUVIA FANS: DO NOT INTERACT" we'd get at least 1 ask from a butt-hurt fan who could not find it in themselves to take our advise to block us and move on, and instead had tantrums after tantrums in our ask box.

(Hi, one of the other admins here popping in for just a second! Quick tw for a mention of stalking. I’ve been doxxed twice, I still get sent death threats, harrassed online, harassed in real life, and my stalker used this ship as an example of why I had to fall in love with him if he just kept trying. I personally am convinced that they’re too stupid to realize how hypocritical they are when they say don’t apply it to real life. Fiction always affects reality, even when it’s not blatantly obvious, and people really need to be more conscious of that and the fact that there are levels to it. A character’s favorite color may not have a big impact in real life, but normalizing abusive relationships has a massive negative impact, as seen by all the victims sharing their stories on this blog and those who share their stories elsewhere, because let’s face it, this nasty ship is not the only time an abusive relationship has been romantisized.

That being said, this does not mean all GrUvia shippers are stalkers/abusers. Fiction does affect reality, but that doesn't mean it controls reality. People have moral compasses, and sometimes they like to explore weird/amoral/dark things in fiction, and it's better to do that in ficiton than in real life. The problem lies within the fact that the vast majority of them that I have personally interacted with (<- reread the bold part and use your reading comprehension skills please) have been willing to doxx, harass, or abuse others. Pro-Juvia and Pro-grUvia shippers are notorious for these things, but some anti-Juvia and Anti-GrUvia people are too. The problem lies within the attitude of the shippers even more so than the ship itself. If we could both have conversations about it, with respect that neither side is going to change the other's thoughts and opinions, then the fandom would be a much happier and safer place.

Personally, I would love if we could just coexist and enjoy Fairy Tail together. Alas, it is not meant to be, hence the creation and necessity of this vent space)

On some level, I do feel bad for the GrUvia fanbase that they have to exist with so much scrutiny. But then I remember the content of the ship itself, and I genuinely think that they've only ever made it worse for themselves by being aggressive.

If the fandom was able to have discussions like this, to talk about ships through a critical lens and have an actual conversation about this, the ship would still be awful. But the fandom, itself, wouldn't be viewed as this group of people with the mental complexity of toddlers.

[daringyounggrayson]

i don't get the hate some tim stans have for dick like i've seen fics recently in which dick is made out the be an awful brother to tim while jason is the good one and i'm ????? i mean yeah dick taking robin from tim without telling him was a shitty thing to do but jason litchrally tried to kill tim like twice? how is he the good supportive brother while dick's the asshole ajjdjfk

oof yeah, and when they have Jason lecture Dick for being a terrible brother to Tim?? like come on. *sigh* going into the Dick Grayson tag is filled with risk 😔

i don't know for sure why this happens, but i think there are a few contributing factors that lead to some fans adopting this perspective:

genuinely not liking Dick as a character. if someone doesn't like the character, they're probably more likely to read his comic appearances in a bad light, or even bash him in the content they make. and if there's any conflict between Dick and a character they like (e.g., Tim) in the source material, i can see why they might subconsciously (or even consciously) exaggerate that conflict, and in some cases maybe even create conflict

enjoying the dynamic between Tim and Jason. this isn't bad in and of itself or anything, and i actually think their relationship is interesting and can be fun to think about/explore from a bunch of different perspectives (for me, one would be Tim's shifting views of Jason pre and post death and later resurrection). but if this is someone's favorite dynamic and they want to explore Tim and Jason's relationship as not only brothers but each other's favorite brother, tearing down other competing relationships would be one way to highlight this. so maybe if they want to make Jason Tim's favorite brother, creating content where Dick messes up allows for Jason to step in

the comics they've read. mainly i'm thinking about if they're mostly reading more recent comics (and "recent" is used somewhat loosely here), though tbh i can't speak too much about this as i have more or less given up on current comics ✌ but from what i remember when i was reading these comics and from the panels that have managed to find me, Tim and Jason have more appearances now where they're getting along/working together, creating a kind of jumping point for their relationship as close brothers

the comics they haven't read. maybe they're just not aware of the relationship Dick and Tim have in older comics (both while Tim was Robin and Red Robin), or maybe they haven't actually read the comics where the original/imagined source of conflict actually took place (like where Damian was made Robin)

subscribing to certain fanon interpretations of the characters/comic events. *insert your most behated example of fanon here* and this is of course amplified if the person in question hasn't actually read the comics they're talking about

Drama™. some people just like drama, and what is a falling out between two brothers who loved and cared for each other deeply followed by a bond growing between the one brother (Tim) and a formerly estranged brother (Jason) who used to want that brother dead if not dramatic?

but whatever the reason for why some people like to make Dick out to be bad brother to Tim, i think the best course of action is to simply live and let live and try to just focus on the content you enjoy. block tags and unfollow people if you need to, and i would also encourage you to promote the content you do enjoy

i was going to add some of my favorite Dick and Tim panels, but then i thought about how long it would to take track them down and decided that I Don't Want To Do That, so have some Dick and Tim fics i like instead:

a soft place to land by unchosenone

Tim rubs the back of his head, trying to affect a joking tone. “I knew I should’ve just gone for the new escrima sticks.”

Dick is ready to be a good big brother to his grieving little bro. Tim flips the script.

She Might Not Make it Home by HoodEx

Dick looked anything but the composed leader of the Titans that he usually was. His drawn in shoulders made him look incredibly small, and his trembling mouth replaced any traces of his confident, charming smile. Part of his face was also bleeding and swelling up, which just made Tim’s heart break for him even more.

A retelling of the Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day #3 issue from Tim's POV.

Delirium by glitter_in_my_eyes

The one where Tim has to be the oldest for like five minutes and decides he doesn't like it (but does a good job anyways).

[lenasai]

before 2022 ends (for me) i'm gonna steal an idea from @thehallstara and do a recap of the stuff i wrote this year, with commentary because i feel like it...and also so it's not like. exactly the same thing lmao

first, go take a look at hir post if you feel so inclined. if you have the time, those twines are all bangers.

list below the cut because this will probably be long when it appears in the tag:

the splorts poetry series as it exists now. the first two sets were from 2021, but i started the series after realizing i was going to post more individual blaseball poems. turns out putting a bunch of poems in one work and waiting for those to be done before you publish them means a lot of stuff just goes unpublished, so i moved toward publishing stuff individually. if you wanna just look at the poems i wrote in 2022, start with lucky number 81 (what if)

the merry exit (un?)memorial dimension traveling club - a fun little exploration of the merry exit from the gamma 1 test circuit and the merry exit from the tutorial game

hold on, you'll live to play again - look i KNOW what's going to be in the second chapter. i just haven't written it yet. every now and then i go "oh no i abandoned the happy story about the kids" and stare wistfully at the pages document hoping the second chapter will just write itself. i will write it eventually. shoutout to the random person who left kudos on the first chapter like 50 years after i wrote it, knowing there's a nonexistent second chapter. anyway. i wrote the first chapter for the first anniversary of longest thursday. it's about the season 20 postseason and the moment we knew everyone (mostly ivy) was going to be safe. it's got more core lore than i expected to write. thank you mechs.

ashes, dust, and other reminders of what once was - for the garages fic exchange, about chorby soul and parker macmillan. HOO BOY this is the one i'm proudest of. if you read only one piece from this post, i hope you will consider making it this one...which is a huge ask because it's nearly 11k words. if i had a nickel for every time i wrote over 10k words of People In The Vault Being Sad About Things i would have two nickels. that's not a lot of nickels, but very funny it happened twice. this is also the first work i've written for another person, and they were an absolute pleasure to write for. anyway. i think chorby soul and parker macmillan should be besties.

what if the light at the end of the tunnel burns me again - for the firefighters fic exchange, about Agan Espinoza's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Season 24. i love them. i curled up into a little ball of shrimp emotions when they fell in the last fall ball with parker macmillan. god damn.

end-of-the-world tour - i wrote 1.5k words about parker macmillan's roam to the (prehistory) crabs and immortals in like two hours. absolutely no proofreading went into it. i wrote it and tossed it into the void after my computer threatened to fuck me over at the deadline. written for the blaseball zine jam.

batting practice - yeah so i procrastinated until the week of the deadline, then got possessed by some kind of writing demon and wrote 5.5k words about wyatt quitter and jasmine mason. not to say it was rushed, but it may have a residual formatting glitch i may have missed when copying from pages into ao3. i went over it many times to try and get rid of those, but if you see a couple of paragraphs fused together, no you didn't. written for the lift fic exchange.

[secretlywritingstories]

I will forever and always write an ode to tumblr's queue system. It is one of my favourite functions to use on this site. It staggers my posts, so I'm not spamming anyone's dashes and I can curate it just how I want.

Every new year, I pick a new "queue tag" that are made from a quote that resonated with me. I usually try to pick quotes from people I watch and admire as well. I've had so many throughout the years. It's a bit self-indulgent but I'm going to list them here.

tell me all of the things that make queue feel at ease; everything will be fine i believe in queue; queue will find your safe place; to any of queue that made this world seem welcoming to me; queue can’t be afraid to live and love; thank queue for treating us with your presence; feels really lucky to be here with people like queue; it would not be hilarious without queue guys.

All of them have couple of things in common. The original quote had a "you" in there which has been substituted with "queue" because those are phonetically similar words. All of them are short sentences. And often they are also directly addressing a fandom that I'm part of. My first fandom and the one I have written 100 fanfictions from unsurprisingly has had a deep grip on me over the year and as such, a majority of the quotes are from Dan and Phil.

But choosing my queue tag is just one little part of why I like using the queue so much. It gives me a chance to organise my interests with nice little tags. Tags that mean I most of the time can find a post again from my own blog (tumblr's search system is less than ideal, but going through my own blog's tags works pretty well). I tag names of the people in the posts, maybe affiliation, maybe some qualifying flavour text.

And then there's the talking in tags. When you want to say something related to the post but don't quite want to have your words be part of the post itself. What you are saying will only appear to the people who follow you (and in op's notifications). It's like you're whispering, or sharing an inside joke just with friends.

I write a mix of tags meant to identify what's in the post and then sprinkle in personal reactions or opinions, and then right at the end, I put my queue tag. All wrapped up in a neat little bow.

I tag and queue mostly for myself. I put posts into my drafts as I come across them scrolling on mobile or desktop and then I carved out an hour or two here throughout the week once or twice and sit down to just bulk tag. It's almost calming? It makes me focus like nothing else because I'm categorising something I adore and reliving the posts all over again. It's awesome.

And perhaps I would worry about being "annoying" with my long tags, but occasionally through the year someone pops up in my asks telling me that they like my tagging system I do in my queue. And it warms my heart every time.

[devilledeggz]

ok i feel like ranting about perfect blue today

warning: essay

i really need to find how im gonna tag these posts where i just ramble about how much i love my favorite pieces of media.

anyways im just gonna say a lot here:

mima has psychosis, which is amazing and confusing. i felt like I was being gaslit simply by watching the movie itself. she has no clue what's happening and neither do i. she's fighting for her life out here. and the rights to her own identity.

girlie nearly got murdered twice, her coworkers were murdered, one of her coworkers tried to murder HER, and she was being stalked, that's emotionally scarring-

uchida's theme is a bop at that one part, and i love how hes actually ugly. finally someone that makes stalkers in media actually vile and not have all their behavior be overlooked by the fandom simply because their hot!

he also genuinely scares me.

rumi. i dont know how to feel about rumi. on one hand she did try to kill mima, but on the other hand, her alter was based off mima and tried to kill her. i may need to rewatch the film again. (which i wouldn't mind.)

and rumi's alter is uncanny. girlie floats, and glows compared to the actual mima. she seems like less of someone based off mima and more of a messed up magical girl.

the ost virtual mima scares me so much. but it was also perfect for that scene. it was so good for the "chorus" to start playing when the realization truly hits mima. that this is in fact, not her room and that the person trying to kill her is rumi. the music makes the scene in my opinion.

and speaking of scenes, the elevator scene will be in my nightmares tonight.

i may say more but this post is long enough and i need to be stopped. my obsession with this movie is too much i could rant about it for hours-

this movie is amazing tbh

[nanuk-dain]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

A huge thank you to @ableedingpen for tagging me. It's my very first time doing something like this, and it's so much fun ^_^

How many works do you have on ao3?

301. Although I have some fics posted as a series and additionally as a chaptered fic, so it's probably three or four works less than that.

What's your total ao3 word count?

2,478,092. But again, some fics are posted twice in a different format, so it's less.

What fandoms do you write for?

More than I can count... The big ones are Generation Kill, Band of Brothers, Pacific Rim, Lord of the Rings, The Mummy, RED, Bourne Trilogy, Rambo (yes, really, you read that correctly XD), Avengers, NUMA, Oregon Files, The Sinking of the Laconia...

But I also have tons of really small and rare fandoms and if I name them all, we'll be here a while ;D

For the past three years I've been mostly active in Generation Kill, though.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Primal Instinct (9-1-1): 2.132

A Never-Ending Dance (The Mummy): 1.110

Marks (The Mummy): 910

More Than A Thousand Words (Avengers): 637

Claim (Fast and Furious): 473

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Or at least I try. I'm not always as good at it as I wish I was... I always feel terrible when I haven't replied to a comment, because somebody took the time to write me and I want to honour that because it means the world to me. I love comments so much, and I think that the least I can do is to tell that to the person who left me a wee word.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Of Losses and Promises, no doubt. Although it's not necessarily the ending, but the fic itself.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Too many to count, I guess? But I think that In An Ideal Word, Things Would Have Been Different qualifies, especially given the WWII setting and the stuff I put the poor guys through.

Do you get hate on fics?

I never did - until I got some really strange comments on an Avengers fic by an anonymous commenter (no AO3 account) a few weeks ago. I was really bewildered, because it wasn't really blind hate or something. I think they just got really upset, but they took the time to write long and detailed comments that said not one single good thing about the fic. Since it was a fic of almost 32k and the first comment was on chapter 3, I just wondered why the heck they kept reading it if they found it so horrible... Don't like, don't read. It's that easy. Just walk away for your own sanity.

I still haven't decided how to proceed with those comments. On one hand I don't want that under my fic, but deleting it feels wrong too, because it wasn't pure hate just to be spiteful, but somebody who felt really triggered in a way I still don't get... Replying to it is probably pointless, but maybe I will sit down done day and write an objective, reasonable reply. I don't know.

Do you write smut?

*cackles* Oh, you could say that. I think my longest smut scene to date (yes, just one scene) is about 17k... I tend to go into detail and then include the mushy feelings and all the sensations that the five senses feed into the brain and boom, you get a really long juicy scene. Happens to me all the time ^_^V

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Rarely, because I'm not a big fan of crossovers. They need to be really well done in order to work (for me, at least), and the only occasion where I really really really had to write a crossover is Touched, which is Generation Kill and Band of Brothers, where I get Doc Bryan and Doc Roe to meet, but without changing the canon timelines or playing with time travel or something like that - so old medic meets and mentors young corpsman, with some extra plot thrown in. Well, who doesn't love the HBO War medics...? ;D

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Not that I know of, anyway. So I hope not? My art gets reposted without permission quite a lot, though. Even had some of my manips manipped over by somebody and they cut out my signature. That sucked.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Several. I think there's Chinese, German, Russian and Spanish among the languages some fics got translated into.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not before a few weeks ago, when @mac-and-geese and I started a wee pet project. It's still in the works, but it will be awesome!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh dear, how am I supposed to answer that? There are so many fantastic pairings out there...

If I look at it from a reader's perspective, then it's Fraser/RayK from dueSouth. In the fandoms I write for, I would have to say Ray Person/Doc Bryan from Generation Kill.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Actually, I don't have one that I doubt I will ever finish. It may take time (because damn my busy RL, and why do I have to work to pay rent?!?), but I will finish all of them (to be fair, I only have four wips that I have posted). I'm tenacious like that. I simply can't bear leaving things unfinished. It eats me up inside, so I finish my fics for the sake of my inner peace alone XD

What are you writing strengths?

I think I'm quite good at crawling into many different character's minds, getting comfy there, absorb their personality and then write from their POV. Even for characters I don't actually like.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm too wordy. I just can't keep it short. I don't think I'll ever be able to write a drabble, not even if my life depended on it...

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it's one of my languages, okay, but if it's one I'm not able to speak, it's bound to end up being very wrong and cringy (yes, google translate, I'm looking at you). Especially if it's longer sections of dialogue I prefer to mark it in some way that there's a language switch, like italics or something like that, and still write it in English. It's easier to read for people, and not everybody will know the respective language, so it'll screw up the flow. I personally hate having to search for the translation at the end of the fic, so I don't do that to my readers. I have no issues with using words/nicknames etc in another language, though, especially when they're easily understandable or I can include the meaning/translation in the story.

First fandom you wrote for?

Lord of the Rings, Éomer/Haldir. No, wait, before that there was a Pirates of the Caribbean fic that was so bad that I don't even have it anymore and I'm glad that the archive where I posted it doesn't exist anymore XD

Favourite fic you've written?

Oh my, that's difficult... I think I'd have to say Like A Kitten On Truth Serum because it's the funniest fic writing experience I've had so far. If we go for the other end of the spectrum, then Of Losses and Promises is probably my favourite sad/angsty fic I've written so far.

All right, so my turn to tag (I hope I'm doing it right): @anthrobrat @mac-and-geese @jenkil @bookishdea

[j-restlessgeek]

normally I am not sure if and how I can respond to tags but yours have been so consistent and sweet for the old song videos I felt like I had to find out one way to do it :'D

Thank you so much for these wonderful words, I'm so happy to know my songs have been able to resonate with you 🥹also sorry for posting them in the middle of your works I can almost feel the frustration and that's on me x'D

With the break down well... it was not the song itself

Story time!

I had had a few days by this point to write a song which normally is more than enough time for me but this year (2020) I hadn't felt inspired to finish the song I wanted to work on. That morning I'd just vented about how I might not have anything done until the presentation that would happen two days later if this kept happening. So I scrapped everything and sat down near a bonfire (unlit) to just breathe for a moment. While sitting there a butterfly flew by me and I felt inspired enough to write Butterfly within 30-45 minutes after that.

As mentioned in the post in hindsight the song is kind of a call out to myself about the dangerous part I'm walking down repressing my identity as a nonbinary transmasculine person. That made it so in the moment the song felt raw and vulnerable yet I didn't know why. For this reason and because I got people to sing choir on it I might not have practiced it as much as I should.

Past forward to Friday where we had to present it to the whole school (60-70 people). I was playing with the first act on our little set so I hadn't had time to think about my own song at all so when it suddenly was my turn I went blank. The microphone kept falling down as well making it hard for me to concentrate on getting the words and guitarplay right so after restarting the song twice I ran out of the room visibly crying.

One teacher I have a strong bond with found me and calmed me down yet I was sure this was it: I'd missed my chance to perform my song.

But luckily that was not the case and I got a slot inbetween two other classes' presentations. However most of the women that sang choir on the song originally didn't get to perform this time given how rushed the whole situation was.

It went pretty well all things considered. Just funny to think about in retrospect how this break down might have been triggered by something else other than the situation itself :'D

This got very long, my apolegies :'D

Sorry about the late reply had to finish work first :(. But also thank you for sharing this with me. The story behind the song is in its own way beautiful. A butterfly; a sign of rebirth and a new chapter (in my mind at least). Am so glad the teacher was able to calm you down and that you still got to perform your song. It’s a banger of a song.

And oh I get the repressing until you break so well. I used to be my biggest bully for almost a decade. Agreeing with the people around me that would say that I was a waste of space, not worthy to live, that no person would ever love me that am not worth anyone’s affection or love. That I had no reason to cry or they would give me one. But I also had a bully that was outside of my own mind. Used to kick, hit and yell at me. That am a stupid bitch, that my place in the world is wasted, etc. used to aim balls at my face. (was fun in 3.-4. grade) now I feel sorry for him, his home live must had been hard.

I would reject people cause I was so low and filled with self hatred and believed that people deserve to be actually loved and not tricked into it. I still believe that you have to love yourself first before loving someone else unconditionally. (Teenage me had no idea that the answer no to having a type or crush was valid)

Nowadays I wish I could tell my younger self that she is worthy to be loved, that she isn’t broken or a waste. And that the people who think so aren’t worth a second thought.

But I also know that my younger self wouldn’t believe me. Big trust issues.

Anyways it got really bad and I broke a few times before getting to the point where I am now. I found music and my passion plus one of my favourite people at the same time. He was so free in his own being, was pleasantly loud and proud of me. He was funny too and soft. (We don’t work together anymore but I work towards it) (maybe one day I will see and work with him again).

I am in a much better place now, I know more about myself. I worked out most of my self hatred, I haven’t been absolutely horrible in a year. Of course with small flare ups. But there were more good days as there were bad days. I have accepted that am weird and not fit for the norm.

I hope this wasn’t too depressing.

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

800 Follower Event

If you're only interested in the event and don't want to hear me rambling, then feel free to skip the first few paragraphs, it's completely fine to do so. For the rest of you:

I posted my first fic almost exactly 6 months ago, and while the fic itself has long been deleted (because it was honestly really sh*t) this blog is still there. In these 6 months 800 people (and probably one or two bots, since this is tumblr after all) all made the terrible decision to start following me/hj. And while I could write a thousand words to tell you how grateful I am, I'm not trying to waste even more of your time, so let me just be brief for once and say:

Thank you all, every person that reads my fics and everyone trusting me enough to request something from me, I know I'm not as active as in the past, but I still appreciate you all.

Anyway, you're probably all here for the event, so let me just quickly tell you the rules.

Rules:

One prompt and one character per request

Every prompt can get requested up to 2 times, if there are more than 2 requests, I'll choose which one counts on first come, first serve basis (there might be exceptions if I really like the prompt and character, but don't count on those).

There's no limit how often a character can get requested, but if one character gets requested too often, I might have to take them off the list of posibilities, so that other characters can get requested as well

Please specify if needed. If the chosen prompt could be interpreted as different genres (angst, hurt/comfort, etc), or you want to request an angst prompt with a specific subgenre (comfort/no comfort for example), then please say so. I don’t want to get things wrong.

When do the requests end?

You can request until 8pm Friday, 29th of July (CET)

A few basic informations:

One (/) means the prompt has been requested once already. Two (/) mean that it was reqeusted twice already and isn’t available any longer.

When something has been requested, I will write the character it got requested for next to the /, so that the same prompt wont be requested twice with the same character.

When the request is finished, I will turn both the (/) and the character name��green

You'll be able to find already written requests by searching #JustASimp'sSimpingEvent on my blog, since all of them will be tagged with it (hopefully)

I may not finish every request that I get, especially if I find myself overwhelmed with them, but I will try my best to finish as many as humanly possible

Here, the Prompts:

“Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that” (/ Fischl) (/ Yanfei)

“Aw, you’re blushing like a rose” (/ Lisa) (/ Yoimiya)

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention” (/ Jean) (/ Yanfei)

“Just pretend to be my date” (/ Ganyu) (/ Yun Jin)

“I know you’re still in love with me” (/ Hu Tao) (/ Yae Miko)"

“I remember practising how to ask you out in front of the mirror” (/ Kuki Shinobu) (/ Amber)

“Shush and go back to bed” (/ Yae Miko) (/ Kokomi)

“You’re cute when you’re angry” (/ Keqing) (/ Mona)

“No, sorry, you laughed. I … I never saw it before. It’s- ­­­­­­­pretty” (/ Eula) (/ Shenhe)

“There it is, there’s that smile!” (/ Yoimiya) (/ Ganyu)

“Wait, you think I’m cute” (/ Keqing) (/ Shinobu)

“Are you tired? Rest your head in my lap” (/ Ei) (/ Ningguang)

“Just five more minutes-” (/ Eula) (/ Jean)

“May I have this dance?” (/ Ayaka) (/ Fischl)

“I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner… you suck” (/ Rosaria) (/ Ei)

“It’s three in the morning” (/ Ei) (/ Shinobu)

“Let me help you. Please” (/ Yae Miko) (/ Noelle)

Anyway, thank you all once again for bearing with my -sometimes "meh"- writing and bad jokes and have a great day/night!!