#i plan on finally finishing the next chapter of anything and everything all of time next that's also biting in the ass lately ;w;

[somegirlontheinternet135]

I didn't expect a post about a dating sim x click & point adventure game with The Beasts to be this popular but. . .

*random gestures*

So here you go, some thoughts & features that could be added to this weird fangame I conjured up!

(tw: long)

~General~

The world that the player teleported into heavily mirrors the land of beast yeast, complete with each of the landmarks which the beasts resign in. One exception however is at the center of this mysterious land is a forest of silver trees, which surround a strange alter of six stone standing pads, five little stones around a much larger stone in the middle (wonder what that's about?)

Somewhere amidst the silver woods is a mysterious grove, a grove filled with lilies. If adventurous enough, the player can explore the grove, but be warned, for not only do the scent of lilies cause drowsiness and the possibility of passing out, but lilies aren't the only thing that the land houses. The grove is peerless maze, so the player must enter with caution

The story length will be similar to how Obey Me is set up (divided into different chapters) with the first three to four chapters introducing the Beasts

There's no "canonical" choice of who'll you'll end up with, that's entirely up to the player. Another choice the player will have is whether the relationships can be platonic or romantic

Although many MCs are mostly left blank slates, I want the player in the sort of grey area between having an actual personality but leaving details vague enough to leave people guessing. Think the MC from "Obey Me" crossed with Yuu from "Twisted Wonderland" And you know many MCs are often nice and kind-hearted, well sorta throw that out the window bc we're doing something special(snarky, sarcastic, brutality honest, and filled with trust issues)

There's only snippets of what the player physically looks like(trust me, this'll be important later)

It's also important that the player has zero memory of entering the world they were basically isekaed into, something which the beasts learn one way or another. . .

The player will receive several petnames from the beasts, ranging from simple ones like "dear" or "sweetheart," to petnames relating to mice and other rodents(ie: "Little Mouse," "Pika," even "Pipsqueak")

In the game, the day-night cycle plays a big role in the gameplay. You'll be allowed to roam and explore as much as you want, but at night, you're given the choice of whether you should go to bed or keep exploring. If the player chooses to continue exploring, they'll be met with an energy meter, which increases when you sleep and decreases when you don't. With a full bar, the player can explore a total of five times, and once that meter runs out, they get too exhausted and fall asleep

Now would be a good time to mention the player's different bedrooms. They rotate based on the location, but they're meant to be a sort of safe space for the player, it's also the area where they pick up an important item: A journal

The journal functions very similarly to a scribble board and an actual notebook but serves one purpose, to allow the player to take notes on certain puzzles. Different puzzles are scattered across the landmarks, some are extremely difficult and require one to jot notes

I also like to think the player would receive a variety of tools during their journey and will each be essential. Which would lead the player to carry a bag to hold said items

For the purpose of the story, the player is able to respawn if they die. Remember the alter in the silver tree forest, they wake up there like nothing happened, although they do still retain the memories of said death

The player will engage in several minigames, the most common of them being a cooking style game where you prepare meals and ones where your using certain tools. Whilst the click & point portion consists of the player exploring the different areas & interacting with their surroundings

As a bonus, the player is gifted different outfits from the beasts, each one corresponding to the beast, their interests, and their theme

~Shadow Milk~

In the many eyes of Shadow Milk, the player is the only cookie he's seen in a while, so it's obvious he'd want them to be his audience, if you ever so chose to be. They get the option of asking more & trying to convince him on letting them have a turn in performing, which he'll have different reactions to

*You're reading the scripts of one of Shadow Milk's plays, in awe at the material. You compliment his work, making him all the more flattered*

"Oh I love acting! Your script is amazing, could I try acting some things out?"

*Hearing the question, Shadow Milk snatches the script from your hands. He almost snaps at you*

"What? No, of course not!"

"I'm sorry my dear, I adore your praise but. . . we've already established who the audience is! It's the key tool of any actor's career, and without that, we'd just be two actors with no one to entertain. . ."

"Besides, I think you'd have trouble trying to impress such a seasoned performer like myself~"

Despite his condescending comments, he slowly begins to let you act out small skits as their relationship with him becomes stronger, and he begins to cave

Shadow Milk has several references to acting, the stage, and plays, it would be a sin to not give this man a rhythm game. Similar to already existing rhythm games like "Rhythm Heaven" or the rhythm game portion in "Obey Me"

Every task, no matter how minimal or simple, becomes way more difficult with Shadow Milk. If you're just as much as a theater kid as he is, his need for literally everything to be a grand, exaggerated, obnoxious spectacle, especially around the player, is strong. Half the time, things don't go his way & he winds up making a mess, messes which the player is forced to clean up

Also, most everything he does requires a quick "costume change" thems the rules. He's cooking you breakfast? He's wearing a bright pink apron with frills and a heart-shaped pocket. You get hurt and scrape your knee? Here comes Dr. Shadow Milk in his doctor's uniform and stethoscope. The two of you are getting ready for bed? You'll be seeing him in striped pajamas, an extremely long nightrobe, fuzzy slippers and a sleep mask, including hair curlers

There will absolutely be no sneaking out on his domain, not on his watch! Shadow Milk, with his abilities, is a living security system, and reacts heavily to sound. So one snap of a twig or step on some creaking floorboards and it's over!

"*Ahem!*"

*A freakishly familiar voice is heard from behind you. Breaking into a sweat, you slowly turn around, the smallest part of you wished it wasn't who you thought it was. . . But as luck would have it, you didn't know any other crazy entertainers. . . Sure enough, it was exactly who'd you expected to see, Shadow Milk stood in front of you, arms crossed and everything*

"Just where do you think you're going?"

*You try playing it cool, although sweating a bit*

"Oh hey Shadow. . . I was just about to head out and-"

"Head out? At this time?!"

"I-I'm not gonna be gone for too long! I'll come right back after promise- *ah!*"

*Shadow Milk had already scooped you up, carrying you bridal style*

"That's quite enough! I can't have my only audience member getting drowsy during one of my shows, now can I?~"

*You were embarrassed beyond belief, even more once he started walking you to your room, and abruptly boops you on the nose*

"It's off to bed with you little mousey!~"

". . . ok(;w;). . ."

He takes much pride & joy in inconveniencing the player, purely for his own entertainment. What makes it worse is that he'll always find some sort of excuse, saying how it's "to punish them" and "to teach them how to do it right," just some of the lies they have to deal with

And that's not all, you think he started there? nope! He started lying to the player the second the two of them met. Seeing the player scared and alone in his domain, he didn't miss an opportunity to mess with the player's head. Fortunately, this does change as you begin to get closer with him, he starts being more open with the player

The outfit Shadow Milk gives the player is, although the tackiest thing on earthbread(if the player decides that it is), the most practical of the outfits they'll receive. It has a sort of German fairytale vibe to it, covered head to toe in ruffles, lace, bells, overly detailed designs, and of course, colored blue. It looks like, feels like, and is a costume, but despite its cheesy appearance, it's easy to run & move in

Out of all the beasts, Shadow Milk is the one who cares the most for the player's physical well-being. He's always making sure the player's eating enough, getting sleep, and most importantly, is happily entertained. It's been far too long since he was able to put on his plays, and he's gonna make sure they have the ability to sit through them

All and all, Shadow Milk is a well-meaning, all be it annoying, roommate

~Eternal Sugar~

She was always keen on learning most of the trickster's secrets, so finding out about the player, she became both upset yet understanding. Shadow Milk was the Cookie of Deceit after all

Regardless, Eternal Sugar found it quite unfair of him to keep them all to himself, and took it upon herself to steal the player away, via using one of her clouds

*While wandering by yourself within Shadow Milk's domain, you peer up at the unearthly, but normally blue sky, to see what seemed to be clouds suspiciously hovering over you*

Bewildered and curious, the player has the decision of either ignoring it or checking it out, but each will end in the clouds scooping up the player and taking them, all the way to Eternal Sugar Cookie

First meeting the player, she's admittingly unimpressed with what she sees, to think something so important to them would be reduced to such a simple creature. . ? But that mindset quickly changes as she discovers how adorable the player is, and just how naive they are. . .

She views the player as some sort of pet, spoiling them with all the goodies they can ever want, to a point where its almost overwhelming

*On a table, a large platter of sweets is set in front of you; you're almost tooken back by the sheer size of the dish, it was almost half the size of the table! Just sitting next to you was Eternal Sugar, smiling almost amusingly at your reaction*

"U-Uh. . . Is this all for me. . ?"

*She giggled*

"Of course it is dear! What sort of guest would you be if you didn't receive such delicacies?"

*Eternal Sugar picks up a sweet from the platter and holds it close to your mouth*

"Now, open wide~"

Unlike the other beasts, Eternal Sugar has the habit of babying the player, so like Shadow Milk, every simple task becomes way more difficult with her around. She'll make sure they won't be able to lift a finger!

Her associative minigame fits her sort of style, a memory game using cards, similar to the many games you can find on those "Kid-friendly Newgrounds" websites

Another thing worth noting is her clingy nature. Everywhere the player goes, Eternal Sugar has to follow, which does make things more difficult and affects progress. The prime definition of a space invader

It gets even worse during the night cycle, where she often insists on sleeping in the same bed as the player. Despite this, night is the only time the player will be able to get anything done. Just know that when they got back to bed and woke up the next morning, they'll have a sweet surprise waiting for them

*Morning light shines onto your face as it creeps into the rest of the room. You groan, awoken by your natural alarm clock, and begin to yawn & stretch, a part of you wished you slept in a bit longer. But as you try to get out of bed, you feel a weight on your right hand, better yet, you feel an entire section of the bed being weighed down by some unknown force. Turning around, you quickly discover why*

"E-Eternal Sugar Cookie! What are you-?!"

*There, covering a good half of the bed, Eternal Sugar Cookie was peacefully snoozing, clutching your hand. In your failed attempts at yelling at her & pulling your hand away were left to no avail, she had no intent on moving, nor letting go, making you all the more flustered*

"Ms. Eternal Sugar Cookie, please!- Let me go! I need-"

*She merely lifted one eye, only half awake and ready to sleep the rest of the day away*

"Awh~ but little mouse, it's so early!~ Can't you stay just a bit longer?~"

*She smiles at your flustered expression*

"But I have stuff to do! Please, you have to let me- *ah!-* h-hey!"

*Too busy trying to escape, you failed to notice her grip getting tighter, pulling you back down your now shared bed*

"Sleep a little more with me, won't you? There's no rush~"

"O-ok, fine then, but only for a couple more minutes, but that's it!"

*She giggled*

"Deal~"

Throughout their stay, the player only gets small snippets of Eternal Sugar's true personality. If the player chose to question her sickly sweet demeanor, she'd get defensive real fast, asking them why they would even question something like that. If angered, she becomes pushy, demanding, especially when the player doesn't do what she says

It becomes increasingly clear when Eternal Sugar gives you a new outfit, since the one you're wearing (aka the outfit Shadow Milk gave you) didn't fit her style, believing that you should wear something more flowy. She actually offers several different outfits for the player, and although nice, they're. . . let's just say not so family friendly; try as they might to reject her offers, she'll get upset and more persistent, nonetheless; this however does change as the story goes on, she becomes more understanding. Luckily, the two manage to make a compromise, Eternal Sugar offers the player a much simpler pink dress, with bows, lace, and ribbons. Despite being much to the player's liking(if that's what the player chooses), she begins to whine about it, saying how it could've been so much more; not to mention, both the ribbons and lace constantly get stuck on things if they aren't careful

The only time the player's able to really see Eternal Sugar's true colors is when Shadow Milk shows up, who's not all too happy about her basically kidnapping the player. Whilst they ventured alone, he made the mistake of taking his eyes off them for a second, last thing he knew they were snatched by some clouds and whisked away into the sky, which he immediately starts chasing after them. He knew exactly who was responsible. Unlike Shadow Milk, Eternal Sugar does a much better job of keeping her composure, playing dumb and refraining from acting out of character around the player. But once Shadow Milk insults her fake personality, all hell breaks loose

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my dear friend. . .?~ Eternal Sugar Cookie. . !"

*Shadow Milk had snuck in through an open window. Before you could even do anything, Eternal Sugar had already pulled you to her side, forcing you to sit in the lavish and comfortable sofa she was lounging on. He made his way towards her, with his usual wide smile; from the corner of your eye, you could barely see an eye twitch and, was he gritting his teeth? It didn't look like it, but he was seething with rage*

"Oh, Shadow Milk Cookie!~ for what do I owe the pleasure?~"

"How lovely of you to ask!~ You see, you just so happen to have something that belongs to me!"

*Shadow Milk then stares back at you, startling you a bit with his crazed expression. Although Eternal Sugar seemed unfazed, her grip on you only became tighter as the trickster started speaking to you*

"Little mousey, there you are!~ Oh I was so worried, thank goodness you're safe!~"

"I am so, so, sorry to have kept you waiting~ believe me, it's a long story!~"

"*Ah!* And what happened to the little dress I gave you?! I mean you still look cute, but you'd look so much better before and- oh! almost got off track for a second!~ *haha!*"

"Alrighty, I think it's time for me and my little mousey to get go-"

"You're leaving with them? Now what would be the purpose in that?~"

*She quickly shifted from her lounging position to a sitting position, pulling you closer toward her, and flustering you more. You see the trickster's eye twitch more, noticing just a crack in his character*

"*hehe-* what did you say. . ?!"

"I've tooken quite the liking to 'your' little mouse!~ Besides, you keeping them all to your self. . ? Extremely unfair of you!~"

*She then draped her arms around you, your face was getting redder by the second*

"Surely they'll be much happier here, isn't that right little mouse?~"

"Well, *uhh-* actually. . ."

"Then it's settled!~ The little mouse will be staying with me!~"

*They proceeded to argue back and forth, Shadow Milk's played up character was falling apart at the seams, losing a drop of his patience with every word the "angel" said. Eternal Sugar found herself quite entertained with the trickster getting angrier and angrier. All the while, you didn't know what to do, clearly neither of them were going to let you leave, or you know, let you get a single word in. So you were placed in a very awkward situation, stuck between an angel cookie who wasn't keen on you leaving, and a jester who was trying to get you back through gritted teeth*

"Listen, I'm the one who saw them first, they were found in my domain, therefore, they're mine! So if you would be so kind as to return them to me. . !"

*She proceeded to hold you closer, practically cuddling you, was she trying to make him even angrier?!*

"Oh but we're having so much fun!~ They'd much prefer it here than that over-the-top spiral you call a tower. . !"

*Insulting his domain was the nail in the coffin. It looked like he'd finally snapped, any ounce of patience he had before was completely out the window. Using his magic, he wrapped up your hands in some mysterious string, pulling you forward and out of Eternal Sugar's reach, greatly shocking and scaring the heck out of you. Once you were back in his arms, Shadow Milk pushed you behind him, and looking back at Eternal Sugar, she'd gotten up from the sofa, it seemed like she was starting to crack as well*

"Oh!~ So that's how we're gonna play *huh?!* Then I'll lend you this: do you really think they'd want to stay with a tooth-rotting prick like yourself?!"

*She began to clutch her fists, her eyes widen in a mix of shock and anger*

". . ?! What did you just call me. . ?!"

"Oh don't you give me that! little miss 'sweet & innocent angel!' unlike myself, people can see your fake persona from a mile away!~"

"And with how long they had to stay with you. . . I'm surprised my poor little mousey hasn't gotten sick and vomited from the spoiling and smothering they had to withstand!"

*That was all it took for her, she broke faster than he did, the wings on her back got bigger, Eternal Sugar's eyes glowed with rage*

". . . how dare you. . !"

"HOW DARE YOU!!"

The player obviously gets the choice of trying to stop the fight or slipping away, the following events escalating faster or slower depending on which they choose. Things escalate to a point where Eternal Sugar just snatched them and attempted to fly away with the player, which led to Shadow Milk using his magical strings to pull them back, entering the two of them in an intense game of tug of war with the player. And the force of both sides was so strong. . . It ended up ripping the player in half

So, Eternal Sugar Cookie, kinda pushy at times and very clingy all the time, but a sweetheart nonetheless

~Mystic Flour~

Getting ripped in half by two powerful beings. . . not something you would easily forget. . . You'd expect this to be game over, right? well, wrong, cause upon miraculously waking up, not only do you find yourself on top a strange alter, but face to face with Mystic Flour Cookie

Seeing the clouds of Eternal Sugar Cookie's cloud soaring past her land, she immediately could tell that something was a mist, and strolling through the silver forest and finding the player laying on the strange alter, her suspicions were correct

At first, she couldn't believe it, a cookie, in their world?! But after a proper meeting with the player and asking how they ended up on the alter, she became a bit more pitiful, going on to invite them to her domain, such a clueless cookie shouldn't be left alone!

But talking about what was basically their death is pretty traumatizing, so the player is given the choice of whether to straight up lie, or give some part of the truth

"So, you have no memory of how you ended up on this alter. . ? Nothing at all?"

*Your voice was strained, you didn't want to tell her the full truth*

"N-no, not a lot. . ."

*Mystic Flour then proceeds to grasp both your cheeks, pulling you close to her face, much to your slight embarrassment*

"Oh, you poor thing! You must be so lost, so confused. . ."

*It was that moment when an idea sprung into her, an idea that may help the both of you. . .*

"How about you come with me?~ Surely you'll be much safer!~"

*Try as you might to decline her offer, she just becomes more insistent. She was giving decent points however, you were lost and confused, not to mention trapped in this witch-forsaken place, and the only two "cookies" you knew killed you, accidently or not, you couldn't decide. . . Eventually, after lots of convincing and growing tired, you finally cave, accepting her offer*

"Ok, fine, I'll go with you"

"Oh good! Well, come along then!~"

*Gently, Mystic Flour took your hand, pulling you off the alter, and guiding you through the silver woods*

Mystic Flour had already made herself sound quite trustworthy, but of course, this can't be without some sort of catch. . . Though she looks caring on the outside, she sees the player as a mere tool, a stepping stool for something much greater. Her methods of getting information is much more subtle

Both minigames mentioned before required some sort of skill, Mystic Flour's is no exception. Similar to classic video game "Snake," the player's goal is to fill the respected area using dragons instead of snakes (wonder why?)

Pretty much the minute the two of them enter her domain, she basically gives them free range to do whatever. She doesn't really care if the player wanders too far or gets into spaces they shouldn't. But she will let you know when it's time to head back

*As the sun starts to set, you continue to search about the area like a curious child, you hardly noticed Mystic Flour standing just behind you*

"Little pika, dear it's time to head back!~"

*Hearing her voice yelling out to you so suddenly just barely startled you, but you gained back your composure once you see her warm smile*

"Oh! Hi Mystic Flour Cookie! Just give me a second, I have to check a few more things!"

*It wasn't like you weren't going to listen to her orders, you just had a bit more to do. But watching you get farther & farther away from her; Mystic Flour saw it differently. Already making her way toward you, she proceeded to scoop you into her arms, startling you and plastering blush onto your face, as she started walking you back herself*

"*ah!*W-Wait! Mystic Flour Cookie, I wasn't done ye-!"

"I know, I know, dear, you have your little tasks!~ But you'll have so much time to do them tomorrow, so please, might we head back? I'm sure the food is getting cold!"

*With you being in her grasp and your legs being very much off the ground, there wasn't really a choice to keep going. You could've kicked and screamed, but there were doubts that'd even work. . . And so, with no other options, you let her take you away, which sucked, but hey, at least you have yummy food waiting for you!*

Mystic Flour has the sheer amount of enthusiasm as an overly supportive mother, she has not a clue of what the player is doing but they're doing great! But like some mothers, she tries a more "hands off" approach as a way to set rules, intentionally not telling the player helpful information just for the sake of them learning it themselves

She does, however, provide them with all the materials to do so: a bedtime routine, plenty of food, and a warm winter outfit. Speaking of which, due to the wintery background, Mystic Flour gives them an outfit most suitable to withstand the cold, something heavy, but also angelic, a nun like dress colored a soft yellow, complete with black counterparts. The only downside is that defending the player from the cold is its only purpose, for it is much too heavy anywhere else and unbearable in hotter areas

Unlike the other beasts mentioned, Mystic Flour has no interest in forming a genuine relationship with the player. To her, you only serve one purpose, finding her escape (whatever that means) and is more direct into reaching her goal. She creates a false sense of security between the two of them, then when the time is right, uses that bond to her advantage. Fortunately, this behavior does change as the story continues, and Mystic Flour becomes more interested, and attached, to the player, but for now, her methods remain neutral

This becomes more apparent as Mystic Flour tries getting information out of the player in a sort of therapeutic way, sitting them down and letting them speak about their troubles, starting with the obvious. . .

"And. . . that's pretty much what happen. . ."

*You laid atop the much larger cookie, your head resting on her lap as she lightly massaged your hair. You rub your hands uncomfortably, as if waiting for bad news, your throat felt strained. Sandwiched between two angry beings, getting pulled into the sky then ripped in two, these were memories you weren't ready to revisit, especially with someone you've met only a few moments ago. . . At the same time, was holding this deep inside healthy? You saw life flash before your eyes, seconds before being split in half. . . Besides, you were already holding onto so much. . . would it hurt to let go of some. . . You felt Mystic Flour let go of your hair as she began running her hand on your face*

"Oh you, poor, poor, dear. . ."

"I am so sorry you had to be apart of. . . that. . ."

*Although you couldn't see her face, she sounded genuinely sorry for you, which was quite refreshing considering everything you've been through so far*

"They can be rather selfish at times, only thinking about themselves. . . You're lucky you've ended up with me!~"

*You laughed at her remark, trying to brighten up the mood, despite still feeling, well, you didn't know what to feel at that point. . .*

"*Heh* Yeah. . . I guess you're right. . ."

*Unannounced to you, Mystic Flour smiled to herself, her plan was working swimmingly. . . Having brought you to a docile state, it was more than a better time to gather the information she'd been longing for. . .*

"If you would allow me to. . . may I ask you something else?"

*You think for a minute, it was only one question, what harm could it do. . .*

"*Uh* sure. . . what is it?"

"Well little pika, you see-"

*Before the words could fall out of her mouth, there was a sudden loud BANG noise from outside. Respectfully, this startles you, making you flinch, but Mystic Flour didn't seem to move. . . Looking back up, you were finally able to see her face, she seemed irritated, annoyed. Gently, she lifted your head off her lap, resting you onto your knees, confused, you turn to her and saw that she was already standing, looking down upon you. She mumbled something under her breath*

"*Ugh* At a time like this. . ?!"

"Just a moment pika. . . I have to handle something. . ."

Mystic Flour considers herself to be the mother figure of the beasts, and although uncompassionate at times, she plays her role well

~Burning Spice~

(Literally the most perfect segway!~)

All it took was Shadow Milk and Eternal Sugar fighting for Burning Spice Cookie to want a part of the action. Last where we left off with them, the two managed to split the player in half, insides and everything, and were now freaking out over their (very much dead) body, whilst arguing over whose fault it was. By sheer coincidence, did Burning Spice decide to check up on Eternal Sugar, and catches site of the two yelling at each other

Burning Spice hasn't met the player, doesn't know who they are nor what they look like, but he took immediate interest in them after seeing how they affected the two other beasts. If just their mutilated body was enough to cause them to start screaming and crying like little kids, who knows what else they could do. . .

Already, he was making assumptions of what kind of person they'd be, perhaps the player was someone strong and intimidating, someone perfect to be his sparring partner, and continues to deny any sort of actual description of them

Him, Shadow Milk, Eternal Sugar had mostly worked together in their search for the player, but the millisecond they found out they were with Mystic Flour, the race was on. . . Which takes us to now, where Burning Spice appears first, causing a massive scene with his abilities in an attempt to lure her out

*Alerted by the sudden destruction just outside, Mystic Flour rushed to her outer balcony, irritated like this had happened before. . . She knew exactly who the culprit was, and sure enough, there he was, sitting casually atop the balcony's railing, Burning Spice greeted her with a sinister look on his face. She had already prepared herself, immediately knowing that something was about to go down*

"There she is, Misty! Long time no see!"

"Burning Spice Cookie. . . what brings you here. . ?"

"*Oh!* I think you know exactly why I'm here!"

*Getting off the railing, he walked toward his comrade, having no use in making a big deal out of it. Mystic Flour, although slightly surprised, saw it as a sort of threat, only further did she stand her ground*

"Ya see, a little birdie told me that you've been hiding a shiny new treasure from us. And I, of course, thought it'd be too good to be true. . . So I decided to drop by to take a look for myself. . !"

*He tried walking around her to reach the balcony's entrance, but before he could take another step, Mystic Flour stopped him, she wouldn't back down that easily. . .*

"There is no such thing. . . whatever is in my possession is none of your business. . !"

*In her defensive state, Burning Spice's persistence only grew, now patting her shoulder almost reassuringly*

"Hey, c'mon Misty!~ we're buddies, pals! Letting me get a tiny sneak peek shouldn't be a problem!"

"Say, how about this? You let me see what you're hiding, and I promise, I won't tell the others, I'll even let ya keep it! So what do ya say?~"

*Not even seconds after he said that, he immediately tried pushing past Mystic Flour as if she'd already answered his question. Of course, she shut that down almost instantly, even pushing him back, something which he doesn't really take well. His eyes widened, she set him off by just that push alone. She could bluntly tell he was lying, only using their relationship as an excuse, so she didn't let him any closer*

"Burning Spice Cookie, we've known each other for eons, do you really think I wouldn't be able to recognize one of your petty excuses. . . ?! "

"If you knew better, you'd be wise enough to leave, for this so-called treasure you're after, I know nothing about!"

*Pushing and telling him to leave. . . yep, that'll do it. . . Burning Spice broke into laughter as his hair began to glow warms shades of red, orange, and yellow, moving like a sea of flames*

"*HA HA HA HAHAHA!* *Oh!* Misty, ya might just make me angry!"

*His tone quickly shifts from trigger-happy to overall threatening once he'd opened his eyes, now just as bright as his hair, he marches towards Mystic Flour, who was all the more irritated and unfazed*

"And you. . . don't wanna make me angry. . !"

"Make you angry?! *Heh!* Didn't know it was so easy to mess with that small brain of yours!"

*It isn't long before the two engage in full on battle, both sides being equally matched in some way. While this was all happening, you were completely unaware; being inside exploring, you're none the wiser of the destruction going on outside*

Eventually, Burning Spice does manage to bust his way inside, and upon actually seeing the player in their simple state, he couldn't be more disappointed, to think Shadow Milk and Eternal Sugar's bickering would be caused by such a boring little cookie(but those two do fight over a lot of things, so-)

He'd almost considered leaving them, but Burning Spice would rather leave with something than nothing, so taking his losses he hoists up the player over his shoulder and makes, a not so quiet, escape. Much to Mystic Flour's dismay and the player's protests (or cries for help depending on what they choose)

Burning Spice sees the player like how a general sees a soldier. He thinks they're weak, bland, and more notably boring, and wants to, in his words, "spice them up." Because of this, he is unnecessarily harsh, working the player to the bone and expecting them to "get up" when they get too tired

*How long has it been. . ? An hour? Two hours? At that point you didn't know, but all you did know is that it felt like an eternity since Burning Spice started your so called "training." Back and forth, you were forced to run with heavy rocks on your back whilst following him, who was doing the same. All the while he'd yell at you to pick up the pace as encouragement. . .You huffed and panted*

"*Hah**hah. . .* Burning Spice Cookie, please, can't we stop for. . . just a minute. . ?"

*It was the only time he'd turn back at you, what a ridiculous ask!*

"What?! Definitely not! ya still got a lot to go, pipsqueak!"

*You couldn't go on any longer. A mess of sweat and sore bones, you plummet to the ground, numb to the rocks currently on your back, you wanted rest, at least for a minute. . . Burning Spice only reached a good distance away before noticing you were far, far behind. He ran back to you, but not because he was worried*

"Ay! Pipsqueak, what's the holdup?!"

*He crouched down, better viewing your shriveled up body, far too weak to keep going. Despite the obvious, Burning Spice still tried getting you to stand, poking, even attempting to pull you off the ground, but you won't budge. . .*

"C'mon! Quit acting like Eternal Sugar Cookie and get moving!"

"Please. . . let me rest. . ."

*Your sweat could've well stained the ground if it were cool enough. . . You were stubborn & refused to get up, becoming a puddle of flesh. Realizing that you weren't moving, he, grudgingly, decides to do what was best, but first he had to move you somewhere more suitable to your needs*

"*Ugh* Alright! Fine! I'll let you outta this, only once!"

*Swiftly brushing the rocks off your back, he scoops you up and onto his shoulder, no way would he let you die right then and there. You suddenly feel the biggest weight being literally lifted off your shoulders, thanking whatever was out there for this moment*

"I'll let you rest, but not here!"

"*Heh* Thank you. . ."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!"

Everything Burning Spice does, he expects the player to do the same, no matter how difficult. But will give them the benefit of the doubt when the player gets too tired to keep going, much to his annoyance

He's active and moving 24/7, that's why Burning Spice's minigame is directly based on "Super Mario Bros" where the player runs about collecting items, attacking enemies, etc.

If the player is talking to him, he'll most entirely talk about himself, boosting his ego, even throwing insults at the other beasts, which is both annoying and ironic because he does the exact same things that they do. That being said, it's important to never get mad at him or give him attitude because it will work him up, for better or worse. . .

The player can easily get information from him due to his blunt honesty. When talking about the other beasts, he'll always give bits of helpful information about them, some that can be extremely helpful in the future

Similar to Mystic Flour, Burning Spice gives the player free range to do whatever, the only difference is that Burning Spice sets up these "training sessions" on random occasions without notifying the player firsthand, and expects them to drop everything to train with him. This exhausts the player, causing them to only be able to do things during the day, when they've required enough rest

*Stumbling into the room Burning Spice gave you, you flop onto the bed, nestling your head against your pillow, relived. You were finally able to rest your jelly legs, sore running around and doing tasks. But you turn to your side, something catches your eye. . . On the single window of your room, you noticed what looked to be a slip of paper. Despite being entirely drained, your curiosity got the better of you, and slipping from the bed, you make your way toward the windowsill, now realizing how out of place from the rest of the room, appearing more of a light lilac than any of the reds and oranges. You questioned if even came from the place, and upon proper examination, your suspicions seemed correct. . . This was no mere paper, but a letter! Curiosities only felt more rapid as you opened, revealing not only short message crafted in cursive, but a beautiful illustration of a rose*

"Small Rodent, have you been faring well within our world? Have you been eating, sleeping well? I hope the others hadn't been too cruel towards you. . . Word of mouth does not travel fast here, so I apologize if I arrive to you late. . . I wish to reach you soon. . ."

"From- Silent Salt Cookie"

"Small Rodent. . ?"

*Reading through the passage, you took a few seconds to process, hoping that whoever sent it wasn't suggesting what you thought they were suggesting, cause if you got kidnapped one more time. . .-*

"Aye! Pipsqueak!!"

*Burning Spice had, without warning, busted into the room, no time for internal dialogue now! With milliseconds to think, you swiftly hide the letter behind your back, not before confronting the brute for his sudden excursion of your privacy*

"B-Burning Spice Cookie?! What are you doing here?!-"

"What?~ I can't check on my little pipsqueak, can't I?~"

*Again with the nickname. .?! Blushing rapidly, you couldn't tell whether you were annoyed, angry, or just plain embarrassed. . . Burning Spice laughed boastingly, always amused by your expressions*

"*HAHAHAH!~* Ya never fail to entertain me, pipsqueak!~"

*Then he noticed the arms behind your back. . .*

"Say, whatcha got there? Ya hiding something from me?"

*Shoot! the letter was still in your hands! Only seeing this as more of a reason to keep it hidden, you play it cool for as much as possible*

"I-It's nothing! W-What are you talking about?!*hehe*"

*Burning Spice just saw your actions as even more suspicious, he might be a barbarian, but he isn't stupid. He attempted turning you around to see what exactly you were keeping from him, all the while you were trying to dodge him, cold sweat beginning to run down your forehead*

"Are ya sure? Cause *uh* ya starting to look pretty sweaty there. . ."

"Oh!- this?! *Uhh. . .* I'm just, tired! from all the training today *haha!*"

*You two do this dance a bit, with you becoming doubly irritated the more Burning Spice tried seeing what you're hiding, getting additionally irritated while Burning Spice looked completely willing to tear your front open, asking and reinsuring you, again and again to get a little looksee. And you thought Shadow Milk was nosy?! Annoying and driven to your breaking point, you practically yell at him-*

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, OK?!"

*Hearing those words fall out of your mouth, Burning Spice is beyond tooken aback, clearly, he didn't like being told what to do. You quickly gasp to yourself, slamming your mouth closed with a free hand upon realizing what you've just said, how could you be so stupid?! With the letter still in your other hand, you decide the best course of action was to crumble up the paper, that letter was the least of your worries now anyway. . .*

"Did. . .Did you just yell at me. . ?!"

*You gulped, your sweat becoming increasingly apparent as the brute looked seconds away from having steam shoot out his ears. He proceeds to get unnervingly close, practically towering over you. . .Didn't think it would end this way. . .*

"That. . . Is. . ."

"Great!!!"

"Ya getting spicier by the minute!"

*Burning Spice grabbed both your shoulders, and shook them with excitement, much to your bewilderment. The way his tone can just shift was both jarring and impressive. After a bit of violent shaking and surviving what would've been another death experience, he eventually lets go, not before giving you a hardy slap to the back whilst laughing, dang near knocking you off your feet and the letter out of your hand*

"*HA! HA!* Ya know what!? Take the rest of the day off! I wanna see my hard work!"

*He happily marches out of the room, leaving you in a rather messed up state*

"Be sure to get all the rest ya need! Ya gonna need it for tomorrow!"

*Burning Spice leaves the room, shutting the door, the second he was out of sight, you took the biggest sigh of relief. That was close, way too close! Like you practically dodged a bullet! You pull back out the crumbled-up letter and tried to fix it, somewhat regretting your decision of almost destroying it before. You had to be more careful next time*

During this entire scene, the player must be extra careful around Burning Spice, because despite how it's played, there's a route where he discovered the letter while they're asleep, and he's not too pleased with having Silent Salt trying to contact them, promptly getting so angry he burns the letter to ashes

That being said, Burning Spice, though seeming like a rage-filled brute who fights first and asks questions later, he's never threatening nor outright violent to the player, unless its a final resort. The player is a much-needed piece in a, all be it complex, puzzle, even if they don't even know it, and in order for them to work is through gaining their trust. But don't think that this is a good thing, there are many times where he could've hurt them yet actively chose not to

He immediately got to work constructing another outfit for the player cause in his own words, "there's no way ya staying here looking like that!" And the outfit he gives them perfectly reflects his ego, slick black clothing, paired with red barbaric accents, and brightly colored armor, making the player look like a mini version of himself. It's good enough for the endless training they have to do, but it's clear that some parts of the outfit were put together at the last second and were made from the minimal sewing Burning Spice learned. And if wanting to be honest, it's kinda ugly. . . Overall, it's the player's least favorite of the outfits given (if they decide it is)

Every hour, it feels like Burning Spice is always learning something new about the player, to him at least. Because of this, he celebrates every accomplishment they make with lavished (and very spicy) feasts, no matter how small they might be. Not exactly the best prize for basically being slaved away constantly to a point of exhaustion, but he doesn't need to know that. The only downside to this is that he's loud, like really loud, so loud in fact, he can't hear any other voices but his own, making him clearly oblivious to a certain someone stealing away the player(-again)

So Burning Spice, a not-so great roommate, but a pretty good personal trainer

~Silent Salt~

Ever since leaving Shadow Milk's site, someone else had been watching the player for some time, someone who wasn't too distant from the player, none other than the silent knight themself, Silent Salt Cookie

Once they found out about the player, there wasn't an ounce of disbelief nor hesitation that got into their head, they only had one goal in mind, and that was getting the player out of the other beasts' hands. But like a hungry wolf with its meal, they knew it wouldn't be easy. The other beasts always kept the player at arm's length, even with the leisure they receive, those four always made sure they were watched. And so they waited, and waited, and waited. . . In till they had the right moment to strike

Normally the beasts would be more direct when approaching the player, probably showing some pity towards them, not before whisking them away, Silent Salt on the other hand had a more different approach. They'd leave small letters for the player, all written in cursive and paired with a beautifully drawn illustration which they constructed themselves. Silent Salt essentially gives the player a bread crumb trail, preparing them for what was to come as to not spook them later

"Last one to get back to the base goes stale!"

"Burning Spice Cookie! Wait up!"

*You two were only trying to get back. . . nothing too special, yet of course, Burning Spice just had to turn it into a game of tag, didn't he?! Already tired from the day's activities, you struggled to move forward, and the barbarian is way ahead. Despite how unfair, annoying, and exhausting it was, you sighed, it wasn't the first time he did this. . . As you forced your body further, all you cared about was getting rest. You never understood why Burning Spice pushed your body to such lengths, but if there was one other reason to keep going it was to spite him. But as you were about halfway there, an unknown force suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you to the side, you yelped, why does everyone here like grabbing you!?*

"*AH!* W-What the!?-"

*Pulled into an unnoticed corner, you practically swing yourself around, already having a good idea of just who decided to yank you out of the way, and you got what you wished for. . . Hovering over your tiny body, was the silent knight themself, quiet and unmoving, looking down at you. . . You jump back a bit startled, those training sessions are sounding a lot better right now. . . Although frozen with fear, it didn't take long to realize that something wasn't right. Sure, they appeared in front of you but that was merely it, just standing there, menacingly, almost like a statue. Your fear quickly dissolves into pure confusion as you stare back at them, the moment shifting into awkward silence. You already had a decent idea of who this fellow might be, and decided to use it as a way to break the barrier between you two*

"*Um. . .* Hi. . ."

"Y-You're Silent Salt Cookie, right. . ?"

*It took them a second to respond, and by "respond" they actually crouched down and got extremely close to your face, adding to your bewilderment, and barely managing to keep your composure*

"*ah!-* I'm gonna take that as a yes. . !"

*As a result of being thrown around so much, you practically knew what was next, but seeing the knight so still felt alien to you, and almost refreshing. . ? Like you were happy to just not be snatched for once, as morbid as that sounds. Oh but no, that's not right, who's to say that this fellow was to be trusted. You make the bold choice to ask them more questions, but before another word could fall out of your mouth. . .*

"Aye Pipsqueak! What's the hold up!?"

It's a no-brainer that Burning Spice finally noticed the player's absence, they have the rightful decision of running to him or yelling out, which Silent Salt covers their mouth and attempts to take them away(what a surprise!) The second route, however, the player's (4th) kidnapping is put on display for Burning Spice, who did not handle the situation well. He immediately rushes in to save them, but Silent Salt was much too swift for him. All the while, the player attempts to save themselves; trying to kick, scream, and squirm their way to freedom, but nothing works, they were a knight after all. Enraged, Burning Spice yells at Silent Salt that he'll get revenge, and he won't be alone. . !

(And before we go on any further, I personally like to hc that Silent Salt is both mute and deaf because 1. it matches with the new ancient heroes since Pure Vanilla is heavily implied to be blind; and 2. it'd make sense that the witches would want to make a disabled cookie. During their pre-corruption days, the five virtues also had to be role models for the cookies, thus they had to, at some extent, be relatable. So giving one of the virtues something that other cookies can relate to makes sense. Oh and as a bonus, Silent Salt is completely fluent in ASL and is fairly good at lip reading; Shadow Milk and Mystic Flour are also fluent in ASL and often act as their mouth pieces. Ok moving on!)

You'd think that the player wouldn't trust Silent Salt from the jump, given the circumstances & that this happened to them so many other times, and yet. . . Silent Salt was the only one to be considerate of the player's feelings before performing the act, they knew the player would be scared, if not terrified, of them, especially when you consider their appearance and quiet nature; thus they planted the letter to let them know. So although this doesn't mean the player fully trusts them, it is a step into the right path

How they view the player is a complete mystery, unlike the other beasts, it isn't just spelled out in ink. Instead, the player has to focus on their interactions and certain body language, since they can't speak

Similarly to Eternal Sugar, Silent Salt will often give the player gifts in an attempt to gain their trust. The main difference on the other hand was that those gifts were much smaller scale than what Eternal Sugar gave them, but still feel more thought out and genuine

*Lilac-colored curtain draped over large windows, comfortable sitting, and a bed that resembled a soft marshmallow, you had to admit, for living in a wasteland, they sure knew a thing or two about decor. But as you admired your new bedroom, you get a sudden knock on the door, and opening it a crack, you see Silent Salt, they appeared to be holding a few things*

"Oh! Silent Salt Cookie! What brings you-"

*Fully opening the door revealed what they were holding, a bouquet of beautifully made paper flowers in one hand, and a sliver tin, filled with salted chocolates in the other. Seeing the gifts, you were pleasantly surprised, not just by the tin of sweets but the paper flowers, so true to life and clearly made by them, you were amazed by the fact they were able to pull something like that off*

"Wow! are these for me?"

*The knight nodded their head, handing both gifts to you. Despite how small the gesture was, you still felt a tiny bit overwhelmed, the smallest hint of blush creeped onto your face*

"T-Thank you! They're lovely!"

Silent Salt was & still somewhat is known for their skills with a sword, thus the reason why their minigame is based on "Fruit Ninja." The player, instead of slicing fruit, is made to cut different pieces of paper according to a dotted line, in an attempt to mimic Silent Salt's paper flowers

While out exploring and doing tasks, Silent Salt will actually partner up with the player & help them, which is already a massive change from the player's other beast encounters. Either they'd find ways to stretch the task out even longer, or just not help at all, so having them there is a huge change of pace. They're always by the player's side, because of this, they can come off as clingy at times

They, like most of the beasts, give the player free range to do whatever, but is quick to set boundaries. The player isn't allowed to go into certain areas without their supervision, especially at night

*Lightly tracking your steps across cold floors, you carefully tiptoe through the Silent domain, moonlight streaking onto every nook and cranny acted as your only light source, which you tried to use to your advantage, the last thing you wanted was to be caught. But when you turned the corner, guess who you unceremoniously bumped into. . ? Pressed into their chest, you abruptly backed away startled & flustered realizing who it was, Silent Salt just looked at you, just like before*

"*Ah!-* Silent Salt Cookie. . ! It's not what you think. . !"

"I-I just have a few other things to do, that's all!-"

*The silent knight only stood there, arms crossed, making their stance all the more stern. You already had a good idea of what was going on in their head, no amount of convincing would change your fate. So with a sigh, you started heading back to your room, not before Silent Salt gently scoops you up, refusing to let you touch the floor, and carried you there themself. Blushing rapidly, you beg and plead for them to put you down, but failed miserably; why does everyone like carrying you so much. . ?*

Silent Salt treats the player like they're the most fragile thing on Earthbread, handling them with care and, with their position as a knight, more than happy to cater to their every need and desire

Due to their disability and limitations in lip reading, talking to them is difficult, creating this communication barrier between them and the player. This, however, doesn't stop the two of them from trying to fix the issue

That being said, Silent Salt most definitely wants to teach the player ASL so they can communicate easier. They made sure they'd take their time, teaching them all they need to know, starting with letters, to phrases, to full sentences. Even if the player struggles to learn at first, they're extremely patient with them, teaching things one step at a time

If it wasn't already obvious, Silent Salt is very delicate with their hands, due to their precise skills with a sword. Because of this, they picked up quite a few hobbies, like painting and drawing, clearly showed by the letter they made the player before, and surprisingly, braiding hair

*Slowly, the silent knight carefully overlapped strand after strand of hair from your head into beautiful braids. They put special care into each braid, constantly checking with you to make sure they were comfortable, even going the extra mile of creating more paper flowers to infuse into the braids. Sitting in front of the bedroom's vanity mirror, you were in awe at how perfect the braids were, your hair practically became an art project! Looking back at them, you couldn't see their face, but you could tell Silent Salt was genuinely enjoying themself, how they added flower after flower, even sometimes placing one directly onto your head; because well, why not? It was moments like this that made you think back to when you first met, back to when their silence felt alien to you, and how you were so unwilling to cooperate. . . Yes, you still didn't fully trust the knight, all of this just felt too perfect, almost too good to be true even, but it does. After placing the last flower, they were finally done, the braids were wrapped around your head and tied in the back with a purple ribbon*

If the hairstyle doesn't make them feel like royalty, then don't worry, Silent Salt had them covered. Cause not soon after doing their hair, they presented their outfit, which looked more like a gorgeous gown than any regular dress. Everything about it was perfect, the long white silk trin that partly touched the floor, the bow around the waste that matched your hair, the simple purple accents, its ruffled layers, everything. But possibly the most radiant part of the gown was these beautiful sewn in embroideries, each more beautiful than the last, all throughout. This was the straw that broke that camel's back, such actions of kindness couldn't go unrewarded; so through ASL, the player is able to sign phrases "thank you" and "sorry," to which Silent Salt immediately accepts. Quite a shame the player couldn't do more. . . The only two downside one could think of is that it strongly resembled a wedding dress, which can give the wrong ideas fast; also the gown length gives the possibility of tripping, but that's a simple price to pay

The relationship between the player and Silent Salt is mostly through action, and to some extent, physical touch. The player is always finding new and creative ways to repay them for everything they've done, often finding themselves cooking or cleaning for them, even gifting them drawings and paper creations they made themselves. Silent Salt does find this sweet and charming, but as a knight, they really have no desires. They crave the simpler things, like holding hands, learning ASL, or just being together in general. No amount of wasted paper would change that

Unfortunately, as stated before, not everything can be too blissful. . . Silent Salt is regularly shown to be extremely overprotective of the player, which does make sense considering their role; Silent Salt is a knight, keeping the innocent safe is their job, and the fact that the other beasts were also after them only made them double down on protecting them. Now, Silent Salt, before meeting the player, had no plans of escape, at least even they think of, in fact, became increasingly fond of their surroundings. . . Only when they learned the player did they start to reconsider. . . with a new opportunity, they couldn't simply pass it up. . .

Because of this, they've developed a 6th sense(or 5th or 4th) whenever they felt the player was in danger. Silent Salt can pick up signals of danger from miles away, and acts quickly ensure their safety, so imagine the player's surprise and confusion when being rushed somewhere else

*Everything was a blur. . . One second ago you and Silent Salt were spending time together per usual, before you knew it you were being pulled into your room, and Silent Salt was doing repeated checks on the door and windows, making sure they were locked. Confused, you try to stop them in their tracks, to get some sort of answer, but all they did was clutch both your hands tightly, looking you directly in the eyes; before abruptly letting go, telling you to never, for any reason, open the door or windows till they came back, then disappears, leaving you in a state of flustered shock. Even if completely unexpected on your end, it became increasingly clear why Silent Salt acted the way they did. . . with a battle axe, guess who was waiting just outside. . ?*

"Salty! right on time!~ It's been awhile, hasn't it?~"

*The knight merely stood there, sword in hand with a tight grip. They already knew what the brute was saying, him placing the axe's handle on the back of his neck as he began to walk towards them*

"Honestly, I'm pretty surprised Salty!~ Out of everybody here, it's you who'd be dumb enough to steal from me, me!"

"Cause when I think of stealing, I usually think of Shadow Milk Cookie, maybe Eternal Sugar Cookie if what we're after is really worth fighting for, but you?! *HA!* Didn't think of ya as the taking type!~"

"*Hmm. . .* I like it! You know I always love a good surprise?~"

*With every step he took, Silent Salt only further stood their ground, having already pulled their sword out from the dirt and getting into a battle stance. Upon reading their body language, his grin only got bigger, he knew exactly what was doing and actively stirred the pot. He put his hands up as he backed away in a condescending yet reassuring tone*

"*Woah!-* *Woah!-* Easy there buddy!~ Now I know what it looks like, but I promise, I didn't come here to cause trouble. . ."

"Instead, I'm looking for a little. . . exchange. . ."

*Burning Spice proceeded to hold his axe behind his back to make himself appear more innocent. All the while Silent Salt didn't once get out of their battle-ready mindset*

"Now I know I can be a little. . . hectic at times, but for this I'm willing to make one exception. . ."

"Say, I won't leave a scratch on your place, if you return what you've stole from me. . !"

"A simple deal, really!- You get out of this with no causalities, and I leave with that little cookie in tow!~ So what do ya say. . ?"

*Silent Salt was only getting parts of the Burning Spice's so called "deal," and already, they were not having it. . ! With just a blink of an eye, Silent Salt went from guarding their domain to holding the tip of their blade at Burning Spice's throat, as if they teleported, they were that fast. . ! Along with Shadow Milk's lies, none of the beasts were dumb enough to fall for one of his exchanges! The knight was clearly provoked; exactly what the brute wanted, so he kicked back far enough to pull his axe out from his back. Though the kick was strong, Silent Salt was still able to hold their ground, using their sword to keep their footing. There was a battle-hungry look in his eyes*

"*HA HA!* You just love surprising me, don't ya Salty?!"

*He then stretched his neck and shoulders, tense bones popped at the motion. Then proceeded to do his battle stance*

"Whatever! Wouldn't have worked anyway! Besides, no one gets dumber around here, right?! *HA!*"

"But one thing's for sure. . . Doesn't matter how tough you act. . . I'm not leaving without my pipsqueak. . !"

*His tone shifted to slight anger as his hair turned into bright flames. Having weapons drawn, it's clear as day as neither was willing to do what the other wanted, nor give in. Both had goals set in stone and willing to follow through with them; but just before they could actually strike at one and other. . .*

"*Yoo-hoo~* Up here!~"

"Apologizes for being so late you two, we've bumped into some. . . causalities. . ."

*In from above, flew in Eternal Sugar atop one of her clouds as Mystic Flour floated beside her, landing onto opposites of the brute and knight, creating this strange box. Burning Spice became all the happier, being the violence-obsessed cookie he was, this just maybe the fight more interesting for him. While Silent Salt was as stern as ever, despite being outnumbered*

"Misty! Sugar! Welcome to the party!! Just when things were starting to get interesting!~"

"*Ugh* Don't overexcite yourself Burning Spice Cookie, some of us only want this to be over with. . !"

*She has a quick glance at the beasts around her, just as annoyed of as before*

"So . . . I assume we all know about our new. . . 'inhabitant,' yes?"

*The silent knight nodded*

"*Pfft* *Uh Duh!-* What's was ya first clue?!"

"That's right! It's been far too long since I've seen another cookie, and when I finally find one, they're snatched from my hands!"

"Oh my poor little mouse!~ They must've been so lonely since they were taken away from me!"

"Being pushed and pulled by some brute and locked away by some scary knight?!~ What can be worse?!"

*Eternal Sugar whined and whined, nitpicking everything that she deemed "cruel treatment," and although most of the things said were true, Burning Spice couldn't help but take offense*

"Aye! What do ya mean by 'pushing and pulling around?!' I have you know I treat them with utmost respect and care!"

"*HA!* You call your so called 'training' of yours respect and care?! Don't make me laugh!"

"Unlike you, I provide my little mouse with everything they could ever need, everything they desire. . ! I make them happy! All your training does is ruin their perfect mind and body!"

*She looked over to her two other comrades*

"At least I can be assured that those two actually kept them safe, otherwise, I wouldn't know what I'd do. . ."

"Even Shadow Milk Cookie takes better care of my little mouse. . ."

*That's when most of the group realized a crucial detail, where the heck was Shadow Milk?! Unannounced to them, Mystic Flour already had a good idea of where he was, but waited to answer. . .*

"Oh yeah! Shadow Milk Cookie isn't here! Where is the guy anyway?!"

"When we found out the pika was being kept here, we came as soon as possible. But it wasn't long before Shadow Milk separated from us; we tried to pursue him but by then, he was already gone. . ."

"Perhaps we should wait for him. . .Knowing him, he likely has something planned. . !"

*With Shadow Milk being the smartest of their group, waiting for him seemed like the safest option, after all he was known for his tricks, who knows what he could be planning. Yet the brute and angel, who always had something to say, didn't have the patience for such. . .*

"And let him get another chance on stealing my little mouse away again?! Absolutely not!!"

"Yeah Misty, not having Shadow Milk Cookie around means less of us to get through, even if it is kinda boring! *HA HA!*"

"Wouldn't want his filth to rub off on my pipsqueak. . !"

*Eternal Sugar gasped in surprise and utter disgust*

"'Your' Pipsqueak?! are you delusional?! Clearly they're mine!!"

*Burning Spice cracked his knuckles, as he puffed his chest*

"Oh yeah?! Then why don't ya prove it?!"

*Mystic Flour groaned in irritation, if her eyes were open she would have definitely rolled them, this charade was going too far*

"*Ugh* You two are bickering like children! Could you at least not treat them like some object?! It's likely that the pika will return to me or Silent Salt Cookie, at least we don't see them as a mere pet. . !"

*Silent Salt nodded in agreement*

"And yet, I think we all know what we're really after. . . "

*With that sentence alone, it made Burning Spice and Eternal Sugar as quiet as Silent Salt was. . . The whole area was hushed, quiet enough to hear a pin drop. . .The four beasts side eyed each other, as if ready to duel; evidence was undeniably clear, they wanted to use you. . .for something? After keeping their running mouths shut for what felt like decades, Burning Spice finally breaks the silence, drawing his weapon, his patience was already dissolved. . .*

"Alright, that's it! We all want the cookie, and just sitting around isn't gonna help!"

"So, let's settle this. . . once and for all. . !"

"Agreed!"

"*Ugh* Suppose we should get this over with. . !"

*As Silent Salt drew their sword, the battle had began. The four played sides, the three of them trying to barge their way in, and Silent Salt trying to keep them out; and despite how unfair the fight seemed, not only were they evenly matched, but they all were fighting for themselves, for their own selfish goals, all of which surrounded getting to you. . . Speaking of that, you were once more left in the dark, spared from the situation. Not to say you aren't curious about what was going on either, in fact you were completely willing to open the windows to look outside if Silent Salt didn't tell you to keep them closed. Laying on top of the marshmallow bed, you stare up at the ceiling in boredom and something else. You received another to be alone with your thoughts, really rekindle and wonder. . . What the hell was going on?! First you were teleported to this strange place, then you were kidnapped five times, then you basically died and came back to life? Nothing about your situation was normal! Not to mention the cookies you're trapped with, if you can even call them "cookies" what even were they? You didn't know anything about them, what to feel about them, let alone if you could trust them or not. . . Questions were swimming in your head like fish upstream, feelings fighting for control in till. . .*

"*AH HAHAHAHA!~* no matter what, the story always stays the same!~"

*You hear a voice, a squeaky, arrogant, yet oh so voice. . . You look around in surprise, was that who you thought it was?!*

"That's right!~ The hero has arrived!~"

". . .To save his damsel in distress!~"

*CRASH!*

*Destroying one of the windows, bursts in the self-proclaimed trickster himself, Shadow Milk Cookie, the suddenness of the action making you fall off your bed startled and almost near giving you a heart attack. When hitting the ground, he did a quick barrel roll before landing on one knee in a sort of "ta-da!" position, acting like he didn't ruin a perfectly good glass plane, and much to your bewilderment. You quickly get up and stand towards him*

"S-Shadow Milk?! Are you ok?!"

"Awh~ Look at you!~ worrying for lil'ol me!~"

"I'm perfectly fine my little mousey!~ Absolutely splendid!~"

*You knew you should've expected a reaction like that from him of all cookies, but it didn't stop you from going dumbfounded*

"You just jumped in through a closed window!!"

*He then went on this long, overexaggerated, winded speech about how much he missed you, how you two had been separated for far too long, what lengths he had to go through just to get to you, but you were wise enough to know that he was partly spewing out lies. . . Mystic Flour knew he had a plan, and had a plan he did! whilst everyone else was occupied, he'd snuck in through a back window, unbelievable how such a cheap tactic was able to work. . . It wasn't long for Shadow Milk to notice the beautiful dress you were wearing, and lights up with glee, zipping toward you, and scaring you once more*

"And might I add, that is quite a marvelous gown you have on!~ *AH!* It makes you look so much more like a proper damsel!~ who made it?!"

"Well-. . ."

*He cuts you off before another word could come out of your mouth*

"-Oh, no, no, no, wait!- don't tell me, Silent Salt Cookie made this, didn't they?~"

"*AH!* It's such a no brainer!~ They make such amazing things, of course they'd make something this cute!~ I'm a little jealous!~ *hehehe!~*"

"*Whew!~* Okay, I think we had enough excitement for one day, hadn't we?~"

*He abruptly grabs your arm and pulls you close, startling you as blush begins to creep up your cheeks*

"Time to go home!~"

*It was the mention of "home" that threw you into a loop, what did he mean by "go home?!" Shocked, you pulled yourself away from the trickster, causing surprise and slight annoyance on his end*

"H-Home?! What are you talking about?!"

"Oh, you ask such silly questions, I'm taking you with me! Back to my humble abode!~"

Obviously, going back to the guy that had the player turned into two halves, is something that they aren't fully ready to do, thus are given the choice to go with him or not; to which both have different, yet very grim results. . . If they say yes, Shadow Milk Cookie will carry them out of Silent Salt's domain, not before being founded out by the other beasts, causing the player to be caught up within the drama, eventually getting stabbed through the chest from all the excitement. . ! On the other hand, if they say no, Shadow Milk with become more persuasive toward the player, reminding them of their time spent apart. If they deny him enough times, his patience begins to wane as his persona falls apart. Becoming more demanding till he snaps, forcing the player to leave with him; but it was already too late, as the other beasts had shown up, who aren't too happy about his late arrival, and chaos ensues, leading to the player getting decapitated. . !(Woooo-)

~Final~

The player ends up back at the top of the altar in the Silver Forest, completely passed out from the shock. All the beasts, after freaking out over their dead body, head there in a heartbeat, arguing over who'd be the one to take the player home, till Mystic Flour decides enough is enough, ending the argument and declaring the Shadow Milk should be the one to take in the player since he found them first, further saying that arguing wouldn't get them anywhere and wants to start a meeting before anyone else could argue back. . . Fast forward to Shadow Milk's base, the player is getting some well needed rest as the beasts are discussing what to do next, although it isn't entirely apparent that they remember how they got there, having them around could be beneficial to their much bigger goals. After a bit of talking, Shadow Milk conjures up a wonderfully, awful, idea. . . keeping the player as their hostage. . . Think about it! From the outside world, they already have reputations for being cold and cruel monsters, if they found out they had a cookie with them, they'd go nuts! Plus, who'd be more inclined to get involved? None other than the new Guardian Of The Seal, and Ancient Hero herself, White Lily Cookie. . . Long story short, they all agree with the plan, as it will guarantee their escape, and check on the player not long after, who was still passed out

*In your dormant state, you lay unconscious as all five beasts watched you, each of them claimed a corner of the bed. As they watched, Silent Salt noticed a slight twitching in your hand, and instinctively embraced theirs into yours, rubbing their thumb on your wrist. Not everybody took it well, cause Eternal Sugar shooed their hand away just a few seconds later*

"*Ugh* Get your hands away from them, you're ruining their slumber. . !"

*She turns back to you as her mood shifts from annoyance to gentle delight*

"Awh~ They look so precious!~"

*Burning Spice leaned forward on the bed to get a better look at you, he seemed upset*

"How long are they gonna be like this. . ? It's been awhile now. . ."

"Roughly a few hours, but I believe they will be awake by tomorrow. . . Poor thing, must have scared them quite a lot "

". . . I think it'd be wise to not tell the pika about our plan, after all, we did get this far with them"

"Right you are, my dear comrade!~"

"If it were to get out that we were keeping them for our own sake, it'd surely shatter any trust we might have, and we don't want them defying us, now do we?~"

*The other beasts agreed*

"*hehehehe!* So it's settled!~"

*Running a hand up your arm, the trickster looked back at you with his signature smile*

"*Hehehehe!*Oh be sure to get all the rest you need, my little mousey!~"

"Cause you'll be in for quite the performance!~"

And that's pretty much how the story begins, the player is their little doll for the time being, none the wiser about the beasts' plans for hostage type deal with The Guardian Of The Seal

(holy crap we're almost done, guess it's time to talk about some background and bonus info)

~Background~

You are playing as the new resident of the Faerie Kingdom, a half-faerie who grew up in Crispia. There, they are known for two things, having cookie genetics and being kinda an a*s, everything makes them unique compared to other faeries, especially the lack of wings on their back, and their personality isn't exactly a pocket of sunshine either. So throw that in a blender, and you got yourself unnecessary fame that many don't want. The player receives the full "little sibling treatment" with faeries being overbearing and constantly getting doted on. Which, of course, sucks, day by day, no matter where they go, they can't escape it! The only escape they have from it all is their day job, working as the librarian's assistant is when they could finally have some peace and quiet, alongside the librarian, who became the player's good friend

Ok! Bonus Stuff!

With the player's kidnapping and life within the Silver Kingdom, a few bonus relationships the player can have are with Silverbell, Mercury Knight, Pure Vanilla, and of course White Lily. SB and Mercury are like childhood friends/crushes, having met the player before the events of the main game, making the player more acquainted toward them. White Lily and Pure Vanilla on the other hand, take a parental role, acting as the player's protectors much later in the game. Both are relatively more alien to the player, especially White Lily, but the two quickly insert themselves, insisting that they only want to keep the player safe(which makes sense considering their mission is to protect Cookiekind, and the player certainly counts) Out of the two, it's White Lily we end up getting the closest with(a mother + child bond if you will), as Guardian Of The Seal, she was horrified to find out the player was being held hostage by the beasts, and wanted to do anything in her power to save them. She also took a liking to their personality (which's fine I guess???)

It may not look like it, but this game is all about choice. It's about the ideas and importance of choice, how decisions affect your life, how even bigger decisions are often made by selfish people, and (I'm probably gonna get publicly executed for this!-) how a democracy should be handled, because let's be honest, we need a better one. . . We'll see plenty examples of a bad democracy among the beasts, as Shadow Milk, the proclaimed "leader" constantly makes choices for others, in reality only thinking about himself; it's through the player he learns to give the others a say in the matter. Speaking of which, it's the player's choices that will have the most impact as the story continues, like how most games do, the only difference is that the game provides a much wider buffet of choices, making the opportunities endless!

.

.

.

If you're reading this then, Congratulations!

You Made It To The End!

Here's A Trophy!🏆(for both me and you cause omfg this took FOREVER! I'm happy with the final result but like- I never thought this would take like 5 weeks to make ;w;)

If I could go back in time, I would've definitely made this shorter. . !

If you any other ideas for this strange fangame, then feel free to let me know!~

Ok, bye!~^^

*decomposes into the soil*

[somerandomdudelmao]

CASS! YOUR BRAIN! IT'S SO... HUGE!!!!Okay, okay. So, to recap what you have confirmed to us-

The robot that we see is NOT controlled by Donnie's spirit. We see that Donnie is able to control it via headset, etc.

Also, the reason this "Plan B" did NOT work is because Casey got possessed by Don's Hamato spirit in a memory from the future on accident.

It was going to work. He was literally mid-crawl before Casey swooped in and tried to help him but ended up somehow bringing his spirit into the past and cloning him a new body with plot serum.

We don't know if this robot would have worked. We don't know if Donnie even had enough equipment to make a robot body like the one he made for Raph. Maybe it would have failed. Maybe everything would've been okay. I just don't know.

But that's the beauty of this series. You planned this since you first decided how Donnie was going to die. Yes, you've said that you're kind of as clueless as we are at times when it comes to "what's next." But the amount of detail you put into this is ASTOUNDING!

Even with your VERY FIRST COMIC, you used Don's failed experiment with Leo and turned it into another chapter where we found out that Donnie was trying to find a cure for Mikey's peepawed body!!!

The fact that Donnie not only didn't say anything before he died because you knew that it "wasn't the end for him," but he also had a plan B that he didn't tell anybody about hence the guilty faces, the reasurrences, and ignoring Leo's "we don't need to worry" talks. And he couldn't simply tell them that "everything was gonna be okay" because his plan possibly wouldn't even work!!!

AND THAT'S WHY HE HAD A BREAKDOWN WHEN HE LOOKED BACK AT ALL THE RECORDINGS OF THE RESISTANCE FAILING BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS HE WATCHING EVERYONE HE TRIED TO PROTECT WITH EVERYTHING HE HAD DIE BEFORE HIS EYES, BUT HE ALSO REALIZED THAT HE FAILED THEM AND LEFT THEM WITH NOTHING!!! HE FEELS SO USELESS AND GUILTY FOR SOMETHING HE HAD NO CONTROL OVER!!!!

Even since we first met Raph, we got Don's theory about how storing spirits into mechs worked. He probably used the rest of their most valuable resources to even BUILD that thing.

I don't know if when they all realize that Casey is actually the reason Mikey couldn't sense any of their spirits because he snatched them up and brought them to the past/different timeline that they're either gonna feel angry or like "Oh!....oh." You know?

It seems to me that they still don't know the answer to that question. With all of them back, I thought they would have by now, but I guess we'll see pretty soon.

A lot of things could happen in this chapter. Good things, bad things, it's quite a toss-up. Let's just hope this whole big misunderstanding comes to a big finish soon. Donnie deserves a comeback. Everyone deserves to have a breather where they can all just...talk. Cause' by GOD there is a lot to talk about. I know they had some downtime before Miwa showed up, but Donnie's still working. If Donnie doesn't finally open up to his family by the end of this, I'm bringing out the beach balls, I swear.

[azurefanfics]

Incoming call from Lover Boy <3

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x reader

Genre: fluff

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: A late night call from your lover Wonwoo after successfully wrapping up his second Tokyo concert.

Note: To celebrate Nana Tour coming to an end I decided to FINALLY write the fic idea I’ve had since episode 1. Please forgive my rusting writing skills - it’s the first fic I’ve actually written in years!

“Incoming call from Lover Boy <3”

The familiar nickname flashed up on your screen, causing you to pause in your reading, smiling slightly at the phone. It was just a joke at first - changing your boyfriend’s nickname in your phone to see how he would react, but the sheepish pink blush that painted his cheeks whenever he caught a glimpse of it drove you to keep it that way ever since.

Your phone continued to buzz angrily, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“What’s up?” you questioned, picking up the phone right away. It wasn’t unusual for Wonwoo to call you when he was away, but you knew he’d just wrapped up a concert that night and usually he’d prefer to either celebrate with the boys or just sleep, especially this late.

“Sorry baby, were you asleep?” a familiar face came into view, picking up on the slightly sleepy tone of your voice and voicing out his concerns.

“No, I was just finishing up this chapter, don’t worry. Is everything ok? What happened to drinking with the guys?” you asked, turning your camera on in turn.

“I had a drink already, but I thought I’d turn in early or else I’d be up all night with those idiots. We do fly out at 6 am after all.” The rosy flush that dusted over his features revealed the truth in his statement, as he shook his head fondly at the questionable sleeping habits of his members. “Besides I couldn’t miss out on speaking with you, it’s the highlight of my day.”

This made you smile a little to yourself. Although you’ve never doubted your boyfriend’s love for you, it still felt good to hear that your presence lights up his day in the same way his does to yours.

As you continued chatting about anything and everything - mostly the boys’ antics during the concert - Wonwoo began to remove the remnants of his stage makeup and get ready for bed. You did the same, basking in the moment of shared domesticity despite the ocean between you both. Despite all of the moments you’ve shared together, perhaps watching him sleepily rub his eyes with makeup remover is the most romantic of them all.

Before long, Wonwoo was done cleaning his face and headed back into the hotel bedroom as the two of you chatted. The lights went out with a click and you heard faint shuffling noises as Wonwoo struggled with his clothes. Eventually, he turned on the bedside lamp to reveal himself lying down, shirtless with his glasses on and his head on the pillow.

“You should take your glasses off hun, that’s got to be uncomfortable”, you chastised him, “and that can’t be good for the frames either”.

“No, I want to see you properly”, came the petulant response, “I won’t be able to actually hold you until tomorrow so this is the best I can get”.

“I can’t wait until you’re home.” you sighed. Although it had only been a few days, the pandemic and the fact that you were able to go with them on the last tour meant that times where you’d been away from Wonwoo were few and far between. Although the two of you had been very lucky in that regard, it did make time apart more of a struggle.

“Me neither, it’s not the same sleeping in these hotel rooms without you…”, he sighed. “I’ll be home tomorrow though! Do you have any plans? I know you’re working but maybe we could have a night in? We can watch a movie and order food? Oh! We should try out that new pizza place near ours, you know, the one Mingyu was talking about?”

“Oh yes! He made it sound so good - I’ve been wanting to check it out for a while! We should get extra and then we can have some leftovers for breakfast the next day!”

“…Babe… What are you talking about…. Pizza isn’t breakfast, you monster.” he deadpanned. At this, your cheeks puffed out a little in frustration.

“Breakfast can be whatever you want it to be! You can’t convince me that you had a healthy breakfast every day when you were living with Mingyu!”

As you continued to bicker back and forth about the validity of various breakfast(?) foods, you took a second to admire your breathtaking boyfriend. Even with his face smooshed into the pillow and his glasses askew, his handsome features and plush lips pulled into a subtle smile never failed to make you swoon.

Eventually the conversation turned to your days, catching up on everything that had happened since you last spoke. Although yours was quite uneventful - “just my manager being an idiot, as always” - Wonwoo was full of stories of shopping with the boys earlier that day.

“And then Hoshi just ran away with Coups’ crutches! He was just sat there on the floor pouting!”

As you giggled at his latest story, Wonwoo couldn’t help but join in as well. Your laughter never failed to give him the deepest joy - he would share stories until his throat ran dry, just to see you smile. He’d even endure the endless teasing from his members to buy magazines with his own face on to bring back to you. He didn’t understand why you needed them when you had the real thing - “They’re good to make collages out of, ok? Don’t judge me!” - but he’d dutifully bring them home to you to catch a glimpse of that bashful blush and shy smile of yours.

As your giggles died down, a wave of exhaustion washed over you and you couldn’t hold back your yawn. Despite doing your best to stifle it off camera, your ever attentive boyfriend still caught on.

“Are you tired baby? Sorry for keeping you up, we can always catch up tomorrow instead”, he said apologetically.

“No, no, if anyone should be tired it’s you. You’re the one that just finished a whole concert! Besides, I like hearing you talk. Tell me more about your day”.

At your gentle prompting, Wonwoo launched into another story about Dino’s latest antics. Despite his animated retelling of the members bullying their maknae, you felt calmed by his voice and felt yourself slowly being lulled to sleep. As your eyes drooped further, a gentle “sleep well baby” was the last thing you heard before your eyes shut completely.

—

The next morning you wake up to a text received at 4 am:

‘Sorry honey, we’ll have to take a rain check on our plans today. I’ve been kidnapped’

‘We’re going to Italy. I’ll bring you back some limoncello to make it up to you x’

You wracked your sleep-addled brain trying to make sense of his message before you remembered - Youth Over Flowers! You felt a slight twinge in your chest at having to cancel your date night, but that was quickly overtaken by excitement for your boyfriend, whom you know has never been to Italy before. You had considered visiting together in the past, but you’d never been able to make it work with your boyfriend’s packed schedule. Your boyfriend had rarely been able to go abroad for leisure at all in the past, let alone with almost all his members. The fact that Na PD somehow managed to surprise the boys, despite them losing all hope of the trip actually happening, just made it that much more sweet.

As you set to work looking up restaurant recommendations in Italy to make sure that your boyfriend was able to enjoy his trip to the fullest, a knock sounded on your door. Jumping out of bed and pulling on a dressing gown, you quickly made your way to the door.

“Pizza for Y/N?” It was the pizza place you’ve been wanting to try.

“I don’t think I ordered this? Do you have the wrong place?” you responded, bewildered.

“It was ordered to this address under the name of Jeon Wonwoo. There was a note left on the receipt.” At that your heart swelled, and you accepted the box gratefully from the delivery driver.

As you settled down at the kitchen table with the still hot box, you unfolded the receipt and took in the message your lover left for you.

“Sorry I can’t be there today baby. Please take this as my peace offering while I’m off expanding my pizza horizons in Italy. I hope you have a good day at work, can’t wait to see you soon! 10 days can’t go by fast enough. Please wait for me a little longer love <3”

You smiled softly at the thought of him, bleary eyed, having to pack all of his belongings in a rush, but still taking the time to think of you.

You took a bite of the piping hot pizza covered in your favourite toppings - delicious. Who ever said pizza wasn’t a breakfast food anyway?

[etherealising]

interlude one | parle-moi

↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing(s): carmy x claire | fem!reader x male!oc | carmy x fem!reader | platonic!mikey x fem!reader | platonic!richie x fem!reader | platonic!claire x fem!reader |

summary: a glance into the final couple of weeks of carmy and baby's senior year.

warning(s): 18+ | miscommunication | carmy | teenage angst | teenage stupidity | mentions of prom | vague mentions of terminal illness | steamy make out session | dry humping | mild petting | neck infatuation? | pining | semi-unrequited love | idiots in fucking love | please let me know if i missed something |

wc: 13.7k

song inspo: parle-moi

please don't let any graphics hinder your imagination of fem!reader/baby, you could imagine her as a fucking smurf for all i care. any pictures used are NOT a representation of baby they just fit the chapter!!!!

also i describe hayden as atj's character in kick-ass because that's what i was watching while writing this chapter but you could imagine him as rasputin or liteally whoever you're into.

but also like atj and jaw are literally the same person just different fonts ya know? happy reading!

May 2013

Carmy watched as you manned the front of house at The Beef, you and Richie working seamlessly around each other as the both of you took turns at the cash register and running food to the customers who had decided to dine in. Carmy wouldn’t lie, he was a little miffed that Mikey had given you a job here but strictly forbade him from even thinking about working at The Beef, but it was okay because he had a plan. Carmy was going to pursue his dream of becoming a chef, not only that, he was going to become the best fucking chef he could be and prove to Michael exactly why he deserved to work alongside him at the family business.

It wasn’t necessarily fair for Carmy to be mad at you for earning yourself a job at The Beef, and he wasn’t. He knew you were only working there to save up money, he knew how badly you and your mom needed it. Things had gotten worse with your mom in the past two years. One of your aunts had come from the west coast to stay with the two of you as you finished up your senior year waiting to whisk the two of you away at the first chance she got. Carmy had met her a handful of times. She was nice he would give her that, but she always looked at him like she knew a secret he didn’t.

Leaning against the end of the counter as he waited for you to go on break, he watched as you made your way back from the dining area to the front, doing his best to capture your features. The slight sheen to your skin from running back and forth and the slight humidity that could be felt in the air. He took notice of the way your hair decorated your head, which pieces looked out of place. Carmy studied you with a curious eye, fingers drumming against the small sketchbook you had got him for his birthday. He had wanted to draw you for a while, and he tried once, but after picking out everything wrong with the drawing he decided that maybe your kind of features weren’t meant to be confined to the lines on a piece of paper.

Carmy watched as you laughed at something stupid Richie said, your laughter singing through the restaurant. Even as you turned to the window of the kitchen to share the joke with the rest of your crew, the large smile still hadn’t left your face.

You turned from the window removing the apron from around your waist as you approached Carmy, the remnants of laughter still on your face. You grabbed his hand pulling him along to the dining area where the two of you plopped down at your favorite corner table. The patrons are still there sending greetings to both of you. You nodded at Carmy’s sketchbook that now sat on the table, his hand lying flat atop it.

“Got anything new for me to look at?” You eyed the small book, always happy to look at whatever new drawing had taken over Carmy’s mind, even if they were of Claire.

Carmy followed your line of sight, a slight blush rising to his cheeks at your intrigue. He usually wouldn’t think twice about letting you parse through his artwork, your genuine interest always pushing him to keep up his hobby. “Uh, I’m not sure if you’ll want to see what’s in this sketchbook.”

Carmy’s fingers began drumming away again, the constant contact with the small book keeping him calm. You sent a teasing smile his way “Why afraid I’ll get tired of seeing your drawings of Claire?” You had meant for the quip to be a joke, although you were tired of seeing Claire’s face staring back at you through Carmy’s drawings, it wasn’t your friend's fault that she had stolen the heart of the boy you had been pining after for the better part of a year.

The frown on Carmy’s face told you that he may have taken offense to the slight joke, your teasing smile dropping as you felt the guilt creep in on you. “I don’t draw Claire that much do I?” The vulnerability in his tone catches you off guard.

You quickly shook your head wanting to appease him, “No Carm, guess I’ve just been around Mikey and Richie too much working here.” You sent him a small smile hoping to raise his spirits, “Word of advice though, some people might find it a bit weird if they knew someone was drawing them without their permission.” You leaned your head on the palm of your hand as you watched Carmy flush even more.

Carmy felt the heat of his blush rising on his neck and painting his cheeks an even deeper red, of course, you would think he was weird for randomly drawing your friend. His lack of experience and newfound fascination channeled into his drawings as he saw no other way to deal with his crush on Claire. He cleared his throat, eyes finding yours again, “Would you?” At the confusion on your face he swallowed, not wanting you to think him any weirder than he already felt, “Would you find it weird if I was drawing you?”

You watched Carmy sink into himself after asking you that question, your own heart melting a bit about the shyness Carmy exuded. “Carmen,” your hands reach out to clasp his between your own, “I would be flattered if you ever decided to draw me. Hell, maybe I’ll even commission you.” The ending joke is made to bring yourself back to reality, if Carmy was drawing you it wasn’t for the same reasons he was drawing Claire.

If it was possible for Carmy to blush even more, he was sure he would’ve looked like a tomato sitting in front of you. You always knew exactly what to say to stave his self-doubt, but recently your words had been more warming to him, something that he couldn’t explain. But he found himself hanging on to every word that left your lips a little bit more.

Before Carmy could get his response out Tina appeared by your table with two signature beef sandwiches for the two teenagers she had watched grow up. The two of you thanked her watching as she made her way back into the kitchen, not being able to spare a minute with the dinner rush starting soon.

You smiled up at Carmy before digging into your food, the warm bread and the seasoned beef caressed your tongue. You let out a sound of appreciation as you swallowed your first bite head tossing back to savor the flavors in your mouth. Carmy let out a small chuckle as he watched you, always finding your reaction to be overdramatic, he wouldn’t lie though, he was excited for the day he would earn that same reaction after you tried his food.

A content sigh escaped your lips as you wiped your mouth with the provided napkin, “I’m gonna miss this when I’m gone.” Carmy could hear the sadness in your voice, his own sense of sadness filling him as he remembered what fate held for the two of you after graduation. The two of you would be separated from each other in what felt like the first time in forever.

Carmy sat his sandwich down, slumping a little in his seat while trying his best not to bring the mood down, “You leave at the end of July right?” His question met your ears as you took in his kicked-puppy look, you remembered how well Carmy took the news when he found out. The betrayal on his face when he found out you chose to go to a college on the West Coast.

You nodded your eyes not meeting his as you tried to lessen the hurt in your heart. It's not like you wanted to be that far from Carmy but it really was out of your hands. Your mom and aunt decided it would be best to be closer to family amid your mom’s ever-declining health. “Yeah Carm, our flight leaves on the 31st.”

You took another bite out of your sandwich appetite dwindling, but not wanting to waste the food you know the crew loved making. The two of you finished your sandwiches in silence, neither of you wanting to talk about the future and more than happy just to sit in the other’s presence.

Reaching for Carmy’s plate you stacked your own on top of his before moving them onto the edge of the table, ready to take them when your break came to an end in five minutes. You sat up straighter in your seat imbuing yourself with confidence as you prepared yourself to broach the topic you weren’t sure Carmy even cared for.

“So Carm, prom is coming up, have you given it any thought?” Carmy knew you were trying to come across as nonchalant, but the gleam in your eyes told him otherwise. Hiding the small smile that graced his lips, he watched as you tried hard to act as though you didn’t care about prom. It was a bit funny to him.

“You know it's not really my scene Baby,” he watched as your shoulders slumped a bit. You had been expecting his answer so you weren’t sure why it affected you so much

You nodded your head, “Yeah, you’re right. Not sure why I brought it up.” You began playing with your fingers, you aren’t sure what you were hoping would be different this time compared to the other times you had brought it up to him. You knew Carmy wasn’t interested in you romantically, and you knew he wasn’t interested in going to prom, but you were holding out hope thinking he might pity you and join you at prom as your friend as one last hurrah before your big move.

Carmy felt bad, he didn’t mean to make you sad. He was just waiting for the right time to ask you. He knew how much prom meant to you, and had listened to you talk his ear off about going to your high school prom after your mom and his mom showed you pictures from their respective proms. He was still working up the confidence to do so though, every time he thought he was ready he would overhear the idiots in his homeroom with their own plans to ask you. Thankfully though you had rejected every advance, and what kind of friend would Carmy be if he asked you to prom at the dinghy sticky table in the back of his family’s business?

“I’ll think about it okay?” It was Carmy’s turn to reach for your hands, to assuage the sadness he could see overtaking your features. Your eyes met Carmy’s not sure if you had heard him correctly, you wouldn’t allow yourself to get too excited at the prospect that Carmy might want to attend the prom.

You sent Carmy a small smile and a nod before standing up from your seat and grabbing the two dishes still sitting on the table, “I’ll hold you to that Bear.” You headed towards the door to the kitchen disappearing from Carmy’s sight.

It was always odd for Carmy to hear you use that nickname for him. You had usually just stuck to ‘Carmen’ or ‘Carmy’ when you were feeling extra friendly. But hearing you call him ‘Bear’ always made his heart beat a little faster, the way the nickname left your lips making him feel warm on the inside. Knowing that such a special nickname had countlessly graced your tongue, a family name just for him that you had felt comfortable enough calling him always made his head fuzzy and his chest feel like it was on fire. The sound of the bell above the door snapped him out of his thoughts, he quickly gathered up his sketchbook, he didn’t know where he was headed, but hopefully, some fresh air would give him the courage he needed to finally ask you to prom.

Your shift ended an hour ago, but you always stayed later to help the crew clean up. Mikey began giving you rides home as you took on more hours, the one plus side of working for your neighbor. At that moment Tina was helping you clean the front of the house her favorite oldies CD popped into the ancient radio, the two of you had created a tradition since you started working at The Beef. Tina would shoo Richie to the back to clean her area so the two of you could catch up.

Tina had taken you under her wing when you first started working there, teaching you what she could in her spare time. Although you had no plans to work in a kitchen anytime soon, you still cherished the time spent together taking what she taught you and using them in your kitchen. Happily sharing with Tina what your mom thought about a recipe she taught you and bringing one of your mom's famous recipes for Tina to try.

Being able to connect your mom and your work mom through food always brought warmth to your heart. The women in your life all doing their best to raise you to be the best woman you could be. As you and Tina finished cleaning up, the two of you headed to the dining area where you would usually wait for Mikey as he finished up whatever he was doing in his office and Tina would sometimes keep you company.

The two of you occupied the same table that had earlier housed you and Carmy. “So did Carmy get his head out of his ass and ask you to prom?” The smile on Tina’s face showed how excited she was to hear about your progress in getting Carmy open to going to prom.

You hid your face in your hands, your big smile hiding behind it, “He told me he’d think about it, which isn’t a no but, I’m too scared to get my hopes up,” You smiled in Tina’s direction watching as she nodded the smile never leaving her face.

“Mama, why don’t you just ask him yourself?” Tina questioned searching your eyes, your smile faltered as you listened to Tina’s question, why hadn’t you just asked Carmy? It would’ve given you a straight answer, and you wouldn’t have had to wait around while he was being indecisive.

Your eyebrows pinched together as you looked at Tina in earnest, “But what if he says no?” The self-doubt creeping in, of course, you would ask him as friends, you didn’t want to freak him out but insinuating you wanted something more, even though you did.

Tina shrugged her shoulders, a small warm smile decorating her features “You can’t control his reaction Mija.” She leaned forward to clasp your hands in hers, “If you don’t ask you’ll never know.” You could always count on Tina’s solid advice to ground you.

And she was right the worst thing that could happen if you asked Carmy to the prom was his swift rejection. But the answer would always be rejection if you never asked. Tina squeezed your hands as you nodded, letting her words sink in as you calculated the best way to ask Carmy to prom.

“I see the way you look at him mama, and listen,” one of her hands shot out to raise your chin so you were looking at her directly. “It’s going to hurt if he doesn’t feel the same way, but you can’t keep living ya life waiting for him. You can be there for him as much as you want, that’s fine ma, but at the end of the day you gotta remember you’re the only person who got you.”

You could feel the tears on your waterline threatening to spill out, leave it to Tina to serve you the most heartfelt advice on a random Thursday night at a dining table at The Beef.

“I’m not saying you gotta let go of your feelings for him, just don’t lose yourself waiting for that boy to come to his senses.” With that Tina patted your hands as she stood from her seat, coming to your side of the table and planting a loving kiss on your forehead.

“You get home safe now ma, a’ight, make sure Mikey ain’t driving all stupid with you in that car.” You laughed at the jab Tina made about Mikey’s driving.

Standing up the two of you embraced each other in a hug, you were grateful to have Tina in your, and you were grateful to have met the Berzattos because without them you wouldn’t have been able to make all the wonderful connections you have now.

You waited for Tina to grab her stuff so you could walk her out. The two of you exiting The Beef you stood outside the entrance watching Tina as she made her way down the street, waiting until her petite figure was officially out of your sight before heading back inside and locking the door behind you.

Venturing to the back you stopped in the office doorway, Mikey sitting in the desk chair as Richie leaned against the desk the two of them whispering fiercely between each other. You gently knocked on the wall hoping to catch their attention, you learned the hard way that being privy to any whispered conversation these two had was never worth it.

“Uh, I’m ready when you are Mikey,” you looked between the two of them, the two giving off a more sketchy vibe than they usually did.

“You uh, didn’t hear anything you weren’t supposed to did you?” Richie’s question caused you to frown. They were definitely doing some sketchy shit that you wanted no part in.

You rolled your eyes before bending down to pick up your backpack on the floor next to the door. “You two are so fucking weird,” you crossed your arms over your chest as you looked between the two of them. Mikey finally rose from his seat and tossed you the keys that were sitting on the desk.

“Hey! That’s rude you know, I think I’m fucking great,” Richie’s response caused a tired smile to form on your lips.

“Yeah Rich, you can be cool sometimes. Goodnight Rich, get home safe.” You sent a small wave his way before leading the way to the car parked in the back of the lot, wanting nothing more than to get home, shower, and bundle up in your warm bed.

You unlocked your door before quickly sliding in and reaching over to unlock Mikey’s door. Silently rushing him along and immediately turning on the heat as Mikey settled into his seat reversing out of the lot.

“What were you and Richie even doing anyway?” You looked over in Mikey’s direction as your hands were placed in front of the vents supplying warmth to your body.

Mikey smiled at you before facing the road again your curiosity was always something he could count on, “Just keeping the business afloat. Nothing to worry over.” You nodded along, no stranger to the many problems The Beef ran into. It shocked you sometimes that it was still up and running, but you knew Mikey always found a way to keep things going.

“How’s school?” The question gained your attention, one of these talks is almost mandatory between the two of you, Mikey checking in on you and in a not-so-subtle way checking in on Carmy through you. You couldn’t pretend you knew why it was so hard for them to just talk to each other, but you guessed any effort was effort.

“Alright, I guess, just preparing for finals. Oh, guess what?” The giddiness in your voice earned a chuckle from Mikey as he nodded for you to go on. “I’m planning to ask Carmy to prom, but like as friends you know?” It was a bit ironic that every Berzatto except the one that mattered knew about your crush, but according to them, you weren’t very subtle about it.

Mikey’s laugh crumbled your resolve a bit, you weren’t sure if he was laughing at you or your idea. You flicked his shoulder sure he couldn’t feel it through his jacket, he raised his hand as a way to ward off your attack. Not that it was doing anything to hurt him.

You watched as Mikey pulled into your driveway never forcing you to cross the street on late nights. His hand reached for the ignition turning the car off as he shifted to face you in his seat.

“You know I’m proud of you right?” you nodded as you listened to Mikey’s words. “You’re gonna do big fucking things, Baby, don’t forget about us little guys alright.” You laughed a little confused about where this topic of conversation was coming from.

“I could never forget about you Brother Bear.” You teased the childhood nickname you gave Mikey pulling his lips into a smile. “I’m gonna write about you one day Mikey, gotta remember you to do that.” You watched as he just stared at you eyes roaming over your face, you reached across the console pressing a quick kiss on his cheek before moving to get out of the car.

Mikey’s hand reached out to grab your arm, “You gonna look out for Carmy even when you leave right?” You nodded at the question, feeling no need to elicit a verbal response. “Just keep an eye out for me will you, you’re good for Carmy.” You had no plans to cut Carmy off after your move, the two of you already discussed the best ways to keep in contact, the best season to catch a flight in.

“Come on now Mikey, you Berzatto’s are stuck with me for life, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” You laughed as Mikey rolled his eyes

“Get your ass in the house, Baby, I told your mom I’d stop bringing you home so late,” you nodded, picking your backpack up from by your feet on the floor. You quickly walked to your front door turning back to send Mikey a wave as he watched you get in safely.

Mikey sighed as he easily parked the car in his driveway just across the street. It was selfish but he needed you to stay in Carmy’s life in whatever way you could manage. Carmy would need you, the role you played in his life making him a better person than he already was. Mikey just hoped for your sake that Carmy put in the effort to keep you in his life, his little brother honing in on the Berzatto family habit of self-sabotage.

Mikey would speak to Carmy about it, if there was one thing he would get his little brother to understand, it was that allowing you to walk out of his life would be a colossal mistake.

Carmy was waiting for you in front of the school. Since getting your licenses the two of you had been taking turns driving the other to school, and today was his turn. He knew it would take you a good minute to make your way to the entrance since your class was located at the back of campus. It didn’t bother him though, it gave him a chance to try and calm his nerves. There was one week left until prom and he still hadn’t asked you.

He purchased the tickets a week ago. You had given him the perfect opportunity at lunch when you decided to spend the period getting help from your creative writing teacher.

Carmy just never felt like it was the right time to ask you, at least that’s what he was telling himself. In reality, he had plenty of opportunities, he just kept losing his confidence. Forcing him to constantly postpone the question he so desperately wanted answered.

For example, when he was visiting with your mom over the weekend and you were teaching him your mom’s famous peach cobbler recipe. He swore he was gonna ask you in the midst of baking, he knew you were into romantic gestures. Not that he wanted to go to prom with you romantically or anything like that. But then the two of you made a mess with the flour while trying to perfect your mom's homemade biscuits, flour getting everywhere including on the two of you.

Carmy decided as he watched you clean your face that right then was as perfect a moment as ever. The two of you were in high spirits enjoying each other's company, but then he watched as the evening light streamed through the kitchen window just perfectly. The sunlight lit up the features on your face he had somehow been overlooking for all the years he knew you. Your bright eyes and cheeky smile were solely trained on him.

And there he was standing in your mom’s kitchen, drowning in the attention you had always allotted especially for him. His smile faltered as he couldn’t help but just watch you at that moment, his breath hitched while his eyes skated over the planes of your face, the ache in his chest slowly dwindling his confidence. And Carmy decided he just couldn’t ask you that day. The timing wasn’t right. The two of you were a mess and he needed to find a bottle of Pepto Bismol asap.

So that’s how he ended up nervously waiting for you to exit school on a random Monday in May. Carmy made sure he was in the regular meeting spot as you two had dedicated it, out of the way of any other students. The two of you weren’t loners, well you weren’t, Carmy didn’t care too much for high school labels. But the two of you were fine being in each other’s presence with no need to include anyone else, and yeah sometimes you would run off with Claire or Hayden and try to invite Carmy, but Carmy didn’t need any of that. He got you and your attention every day of the week whenever he wanted, and for Carmy, that’s all he really needed.

Carmy finally spotted you making your way through the crowd of teenagers who were either waiting for their rides or just trying to prolong the day with their friends. An unconscious smile graced his features he had been waiting all day to finally just get things over with and pop the question. The two tickets held so tightly in his hands they were starting to crinkle. Letting out a deep breath, Carmy straightened up, wanting you to take his inquiry seriously, not sure his usual shyness would exhibit that he truly wanted to go to prom with you.

No longer able to wait, Carmy began walking in your direction, doing his best to avoid the bodies that didn’t care enough to pay attention to him. He made it halfway before the sight in front of him caused him to abruptly stop. Walking next to you was the tall boy he always felt himself feeling insecure around. Hayden had never shown Carmy any ill will and had even tried to include Carmy in conversation in the times he joined the two of you for lunch. But the teenager had something Carmy didn’t have; a reserve of confidence and natural charisma. The two of you had just met this year in your creative writing class and Carmy swore he would never hear the end of it.

Hayden was drinking in all your attention right now, the two of you bouncing ideas off of each other for your creative writing final. You thought Hayden was cool since your first meeting at the beginning of the year. The two of you became instant critique buddies, always asking the other to analyze a class assignment before you submitted it. At times you had thought about inviting him to hang out with you and Carmy outside of school, but you didn’t want to make Carmy uncomfortable, so the two of you remained friends inside the confines of high school.

You laughed at one of Hayden’s outlandish ideas, knowing if he turned in a paper on the topic of whatever conspiracy theory he was into at the moment they would probably withhold his diploma.

“Hey, check it out,” your eyes followed the path Hayden’s finger was pointing at, a small scowl painting your face at the scene playing out in front of you. “Looks like Carmy finally asked Claire to prom.” The words made your ears buzz, and the tickets in your back pocket felt like they were on fire now.

The two of you watched in silence as Carmy and Claire traded shy smiles with each other before he handed her one of the two tickets in his hands. When he told you he’d think about it, you weren’t aware he would think about going with someone else. The hope in your heart immediately died out as you watched the bright smile overtake Carmy’s face. You didn’t blame him, if you had the opportunity to go to prom with your crush, you obviously would have taken it too.

“You good?” The nudge to your arm broke you from your longing gaze, eyes finding Hayden’s through his dorky glasses. You nodded trying to shake the sadness off yourself, Hayden was great at reading people.

“Yeah, actually,” you took a small breath before continuing. “I know this is kind of weird, and you’re totally allowed to reject me. But would you maybe wanna go to prom with me? It doesn’t have to mean anything obviously, just two friends having a good time together.” You slipped the two tickets out of your back pocket brandishing them to Hayden. Even if you couldn’t go with Carmy you still wanted to attend prom and Hayden was a great second choice.

“Hell yeah! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me.” The lame joke caused the both of you to laugh as you shoved Hayden’s shoulder. He took one of the tickets from your hand walking backwards while still facing you. “Don’t sell yourself short, maybe I want to go to prom with you to mean something.” His loud voice catches the attention of the teenagers surrounding you. A group of underclass girls fawning over how cute they thought the scene between you two was.

You watched as Hayden disappeared to his car, a small laugh leaving your lips at Hayden’s antics, a part of you feeling giddy at the idea that someone wanted to go to prom with you as more than friends.

Carmy wasn’t sure how long he stood there staring at the interaction going on between you and Hayden, but it sure did suck the confidence right out of his insecure body. The thought of going to prom with you was just another failed idea as he was sure Hayden would ask you.

“You okay there Berzatto?” Carmy was snapped out of his trance by the presence that made their way to his side. His eyes shot to Claire’s, momentarily widening before he tried to calm his exterior. He nodded his head, giving himself a minute before even thinking of gracing Claire with an incoherent response.

“Ye-Yeah, just waiting for Baby,” his free hand raised to point in your direction as Claire smiled at him, eyes leaving him for only a moment. He dropped his hand not knowing how to continue the conversation, Claire was your friend and yeah he did have his fair share of classes with her, and she did only live down the street from the two of you. But he had never been alone with her on purpose.

The two of them stood in a stilted silence, both overcome by their shyness to say anything. Trying to ease the awkwardness Claire’s eyes landed on the tickets still tightly grasped in Carmy’s hands, finally finding an out to the silence. “I didn’t know you were into prom Carmy,” the statement reminded Carmy of what he had been planning to do in the first place.

One hand raised to run through his slightly grown-out hair, head nodding rapidly in response, “Yeah, Baby seems to be really into it.” Carmy didn’t notice Claire’s smile falter, of course, he was taking you to prom, you were the only girl that existed to him.

Carmy finally faced the girl standing next to him. The least he could do while waiting for you was hold a conversation with her. “Did you want to go?” Carmy watched Claire’s smile brighten, a confused look painting his features. Not realizing that with his overall awkward and shy personality, the girl in front of him thought this was his way of asking her to prom.

“With you?” She questioned the giddiness in her voice, easy to point out. Carmy’s eyes widened this time, this was definitely not his original plan. But he couldn’t just say no and turn her down he would’ve felt bad, plus he did have a huge crush on her, and Mikey and Richie had both told him to stop being such a pussy when it came to girls. So Carmy realized he had his answer.

“Yeah with me, i-if you want to I mean,” Carmy waited with bated breath hoping he hadn’t read the situation wrong. If Claire’s blush and wide smile were any indication he was on the right track. He raised the hand that contained the tickets between the two of them, plucking one out and offering it to Claire.

Their hands brushed as she reached for the ticket, Carmy’s smile matching hers as they fell into polite small talk about their day and their plans for after graduation.

“Don’t sell yourself short, maybe I want going to prom with you to mean something,” the sound of what they both knew to be Hayden’s voice drew their attention. They watched the fading interaction between you and Hayden, Carmy’s attention zeroing in on a laugh he heard over a hundred times.

The squeeze on his bicep removed his attention from you, eyes falling back to the girl he had just asked to prom, albeit accidentally. “They’re so cute! I can’t believe they’re going to prom together,” Claire’s excitement had somehow increased after Hayden’s obnoxious display. “Hey, maybe we can carpool,” It was wrong but Carmy couldn’t get himself to focus on the words leaving Claire’s mouth, too busy watching you watch Hayden.

“Oh hey, my mom’s here. We’ll figure it out later, see ya Carmy.” He sent a noncommittal nod in Claire’s direction, a slight wave sent to her mom who was patiently waiting in the car. Eyes immediately went back to your figure that had finally begun to make its way in his direction, the smile on your face confusing him. You didn’t like Hayden did you?

Carmy watched as you stopped in front of him before your hand reached out to shove his shoulder, “Why didn’t you tell me you were asking Claire to prom?” Carmy wasn’t sure why but your question irked him, the excitement in your voice crawling under his skin. It’s not like he had to run his whole life by you, you obviously didn’t.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were asking Hayden to prom?” The hostility in Carmy’s tone and the frown on his face confused you, “You just asked him to prom so he’ll sleep with you.” Your eyes widened at Carmy’s insinuation that the only reason anyone would go to prom with you was to fulfill their carnal desires.

You scoffed rolling your eyes at his immaturity, “You have an ugly fucking attitude, Carmen.” The shove of your shoulder into his as you stormed off to the car cooled his anger down.

Carmy had no clue what the fuck had been going on with him, with the two of you recently. But he knew he needed to cool it with these mood swings before you decided to leave him behind for good. He only had you for the rest of the summer before your constant presence in his life would disappear. He didn’t want to give you a reason to cease all contact after your move. Carmy followed after you knowing it would be a silent car ride home.

Prom Night | Saturday

The week leading up to prom had been the most awkward week between you and Carmy since the dawn of your friendship. It's not like you were giving him the cold shoulder, but you sure weren’t as nice and friendly as you usually were with him. You only spoke to him out of necessity that week, your friendship with him on rocky ground after the accusation he threw your way.

It had gotten so bad that you had even begun inviting Claire and Hayden to your’s and Carmy’s self-proclaimed lunch table. You had told Carmy it was under the guise of figuring out the plans for prom night, but you just didn’t want to sit alone with Carmy as he acted like everything was fine between the two of you. And Carmy knew two, and if he was brave enough he would’ve admitted that it hurt to see you so upset with him to the point that you were no longer comfortable in just his presence.

He had even broached the topic to Sugar, hoping she would be able to give him advice since she was a teenage girl at one point, and probably understood your thought process better than he did. He regretted the decision immediately when she explained to him that because of the situation, he should be more worried about the way his words hurt you, rather than his feelings of you distancing yourself from him. She had gone on a long tangent about how you had every right to want space from him, the two of you were longtime best friends, and having someone you trust with your whole life deduce you to just your body would make anyone question the friendship. Carmy learned the hard way that Sugar wasn’t going to tell him what he wanted to hear just to make him feel better.

It was a tough week for Carmen Berzatto and it was nobody's fault but his own. Sitting on his bed he stared at the suit he would be donning tonight, the excitement he once held for prom, slowly dwindling with every smile you saved for Hayden that week. Every time you asked for Hayden’s advice before Carmy’s he felt his resolve cracking, for a constant time in his life your friendship with him was the only thing that truly belonged to him.

He wasn’t used to having to share your attention with anyone outside of his and your family. He wasn’t prepared for the smile he thought was reserved just for him, to so easily graced your lips when speaking with Hayden

You and Claire were getting ready together at your house, you had invited the girl to join you after she explained her mom would be out of town for a business meeting. The friendship between the two of you was still rather new, you wouldn’t go as far as to call her your best friend, but she was your first close girlfriend and you thought that counted for something.

Claire was easy to be friends with. She was a sweet girl with a bright personality and the two of you wondered how you had lived on the same street all this time and never became friends before senior year. Claire was easy to be friends with; that is until Carmy decided he liked her. After that day it was no longer just you and Carmy, it was you, Carmy, and Claire. And Claire was never even actually physically there, she was just a topic of conversation that Carmy couldn’t go a day without somehow bringing up.

You didn’t blame Claire though, how could you? And just as naturally you watched as your new friend fell for your oldest one. It hurt in the beginning to realize Carmy would never speak of you the way he spoke of Claire, but as time went on you got over it, the mantra ‘if Carmy’s happy, I’m happy’ slowly getting you through senior year. But it was agonizing when Claire confessed to you she had fallen for your shy doe-eyed shadow.

Luckily for you though the two of them were too shy to ever do anything about it. And maybe you were a shit friend for not telling Carmy that he did have a chance with his dream girl, but you would’ve been an even worse friend for revealing Claire’s secret behind her back. It was a lose-lose situation. So now you were relegated to being the middleman, lending both of your friends an ear to talk about their infatuations with each other.

And that’s exactly what you were doing right now as you listened to Claire drone on about how sweet Carmy was. And how cute he looked when he asked her to prom, and if you thought he would look good in his suit tonight; which yes, you did but Claire didn’t need to know that. You were almost starting to regret inviting her over, but you had to remind yourself it wasn’t her fault that you were too scared to admit your feelings to Carmy, or that you should’ve just asked Carmy to prom yourself with no hesitation.

“Which color?” Claire’s voice broke you from your pity party, the two of you sitting on the floor in front of your mirror, your respective makeup set out in front of you. You looked at the two eyeshadow palettes Claire was pointing at, quickly pointing at the one color palette that would work best with her blue-green eyes.

“I think these colors will make your eyes pop,” the small smile on your lips encouraging Claire to take your advice. “Can I be honest with you?” You were unsure that you wanted to have this conversation with Claire, but you’d always have Carmy’s best interest at heart.

Claire shifted to face you, your serious tone drawing her undivided attention. “Just be careful with Carmy, okay?” Your eyes flickered between hers to make sure she understood the gravity of what you were saying. “Not in a bad way or anything, it's just…he really likes you. And he’s not that experienced in the romance department, so just don’t expect too much of him,” you paused, eyes going down to watch as your fingers picked at the hem of your robe.

“He’s shy, ya know, and he’s a little self-conscious even though he does not need to be because he’s so cool once you get to know him. But if he seems a little clueless or doesn’t pick up on your queues, just don’t hold it against him okay? I know he’s going to try not to mess things up with you Claire.”

Your eyes found Claire’s face again, a small endearing smile on her lips, “You care about him a lot.” You laughed not meaning for it to sound as sarcastic as it came across, you did a lot more than care about Carmy. “I’m glad Carmy has a friend like you in his life,” Claire’s hand patted your knee, the truth in her words causing your heart to sink a little in your chest.

“Enough about me and Carmy, I didn’t know you were into Hayden!” The two of you giggled about the fact you were talking about boys and getting ready for prom, neither of you thought you’d be in this situation right now.

“I’m not. We’re just going as friends,” you said as the two of you began to paint your faces. “Well make sure he knows that.” You put down the lip liner you were examining, eyes flashing to Claire as she shot you a goofy smile.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You watched as Claire rolled her eyes at your obliviousness, you threw a makeup brush at her that she easily swatted away. “I’m just saying” the other girl’s hands raised in defense, “Hayden has like the biggest crush on you, he’s just too nonchalant to say anything.”

“Really?” The surprise in your voice stole a laugh from Claire. “Of course! Look, you didn’t hear this from me but he had plans to ask you to prom. You just beat him to the punch.”

You watched Claire for a minute as she resumed doing her makeup. Your own eyes find your figure in the mirror, a shy smile curving your lips. Maybe your head had been so far up Carmy’s ass you were too blind to see that there was another great guy out there ready to make you happy.

You thought of the advice Tina had given you a few weeks back, you would always care for Carmy. But if he was getting his happy ending tonight, it was only fair that you tried as well. As you and Claire sat there chit-chatting and getting ready, you thought about how different your life would be if you set your feelings for Carmy aside, and tonight was the best time to figure it out.

You and Claire made your way across the street to the Berzatto household where everyone was waiting for the two of you. Your mom and aunt left 30 minutes ago, Donna having invited them over for dinner while you all attended prom. You saw Hayden’s car parked in front of their house and couldn’t help but feel excited at the idea of spending such a fun night with him, you had only ever seen him as a friend but maybe tonight could change things.

You were pretty sure Donna was snooping through the windows excitedly waiting for the two of you to arrive because the moment your foot hit the sidewalk Donna threw the door open with a loud voice surprising the two of you.

“Oh my goodness! Look at you girls, you look beautiful!” Donna exclaimed as she made her way towards the two of you pulling Claire into a hug before throwing her arms around you, careful to mind the bulky Polaroid camera in her hand.

Removing yourself from the hug you peered behind her to see everyone else filing out of the house. Your aunt helped your mom as she talked Nat’s ear off about something you couldn’t hear. Mikey and Richie do their best to interrogate a calm Hayden, and Carmy awkwardly follows behind at the back of the pack, his suit hugging him well.

You were quickly pulled away from your assessment of Carmy as Nat made her way to you with a huge grin on her face. “Baby! Oh my goodness!” Her words became muffled as she pulled you into a hug. “You look so gorgeous, Carmy is such a tool. Well, no offense to Claire.” You let out a small laugh as you parted from Natalie, the two of you joining everyone else so the picture-taking could begin.

Before joining Claire and Carmy you stopped by Mikey and Richie to pick up your date, hoping they hadn’t gone overboard with the ‘intimidating older brother’ act. Squeezing in between the two older men you looped your arm around their torso pulling them into a double-side hug.

“Are tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb giving you a hard time Hayden?” The words leave behind a mock pout on your lips. You gave Hayden a bright smile, easily taking his suited figure in, he had forgone his round dorky glasses. But his signature unruly dark curls were in their usual mess atop of his head, and you would admit you appreciated it.

You watched as the once apprehensive look on his face turned into a bright grin at your words, a pretty blush painting his angular cheeks. “Wow, you look uh-”

“She looks what buddy?” Mikey’s tone left no room for questions, his arms moving to cross against his chest widening his stance to appear more intimidating.

“You look pretty.” You weren’t even given a second to respond as Mikey started in again.

“I look fucking pretty to you? Richie, this boy just call me pretty?” Mikey’s eyes never left Hayden’s even as his question was directed at Richie.

You watched as Richie copied Mikey’s stance, your arms falling from their movements. “Yeah Mikey, I think he fucking did.”

“Richie’s a looker too, you gonna call him pretty?” You watched as Hayden fumbled with his words, eyes searching yours for any help.

“Yeah Curly Sue, I wanna be fucking pretty too.” You weren’t sure how the conversation had gotten so out of control but luckily for you, your mom was there to save the day. Pulling Hayden’s attention to a conversation so he could escape your two personal bodyguards.

“You two stop giving that poor boy a hard time.” Mikey and Richie having no defense against your mom, let him join her as Donna came up to the three of you for a picture.

You resumed your initial position with them, arms finding their way back around their torsos. The two of them leaned down to press a kiss against both of your cheeks, a cheesy smile taking over your features as the three of you posed for Donna’s camera.

“Okay Baby, grab your cute little date and take some photos,” Donna motioned you over to where Nat was finishing up the couple photos of Carmy and Claire, now waiting for you and Hayden.

You maneuvered yourself from Mikey and Richie’s grip standing in front of them, the two of them looking at you with smirks decorating their faces. Although you found their antics to be stupid, you were glad to have people in your life who cared enough about you to try and scare your dates away.

“This kid not weird or some shit is he Baby?” Mikey scowled at you, arms finding their way across his chest. You shook your head, you thought you knew enough about Hayden to vouch for him. “No, he’s just a friend. It was a last-minute decision.” The two men stared at the boy who was waiting for you to take pictures with him, the pretty flower corsage in a box in his hands.

Mikey nodded in his direction signaling for you to go and join him, “You guys stop by The Beef after. Don’t want you and Carmy getting into any stupid shit.” You nodded before making your way to Hayden’s side. His smile caused one to grace your lips as well.

“Everybody wants pictures of us but uh, I need to give you this first.” You smiled as he shyly showed you the corsage, you watched as he removed it from its box. You held out your hand as he carefully slipped it on your wrist, surprised to see how perfectly the colors chosen complimented your skin tone.

You couldn’t help but share a small smile with him when the two of you caught each other’s eyes again. “Thank you, Hayden, it's beautiful.” The click of a camera drew your attention, eyes finding Nat’s as she looked at the image on her digital camera.

“Awe Baby! The two of you are so cute, okay give me a few poses.” Carmy couldn’t help but watch as Sugar gushed over you and Hayden, his mom keeping Claire’s attention as they discussed whatever it was they were so enraptured in.

He watched as the two of you took photos as if you were a couple and not just two friends going to prom. The two of you stood in the standard prom pose looking like the perfect match, Hayden standing behind you with his hands wrapped around your waist, the two of you smiling happily at the camera. The position changed slightly as Hayden rested his chin on your shoulder for one shot, slightly turning his head for the next shot so his lips caressed your cheek. From Carmy’s vantage point, you didn’t seem to mind.

Carmy was pulled into Mikey’s side as his older brother wrapped his arm around his shoulder. The two of them watch you and your date in silence for a moment. “Baby’s growing up isn’t she?” The question was not something Carmy was expecting from Mikey.

“Do me a favor and look out for her Carmy alright?” Carmy nodded, no one ever needed to ask that of him. “Better start treating her right before this becomes your feature.” Mikey looked down at Carmy hoping to drill the words into his younger brother, sending one more squeeze to his shoulder and an encouraging smile his way before leaving to join Richie in conversation with your mom and aunt.

Sugar caught Carmy’s eye, a melancholy smile on her lips, “Carmy come, let me get a picture of you and Baby together!” He looked to his mom and Claire, the two of them giving him nods of encouragement. He gently took the Polaroid camera from his mom's hand knowing you’d like at least one Polaroid of the two of you before heading in your direction.

He approached you and Hayden as the two of you were having a quiet conversation, “So if I potentially called you baby non platonically how would you feel about that?” Carmy wanted to gag and was relieved as he watched you roll your eyes at the cheesy pickup line.

“Eww, actually please don’t,” Carmy stood there in silence watching how chummy the two of you were and feeling awkward for just listening.

“You’re right, my girl has a better ring to it.” Carmy’s eyes widened he had no idea where the fuck this kid's confidence was coming from but it sure was starting to piss him off. He watched your mouth hang open partially at a loss for words apparently just as appalled as Carmy.

The hand reaching up to cup your chin almost sent Carmy into a full spiral, “Close your mouth, can’t have my girl swallowing flies.” Camry was about to blow his shit! Who the fuck did this model-looking motherfucker think he was?

“Hey, pretty boy! None of that slick shit in my yard!” Carmy had never been more thankful for Mikey’s obnoxious personality, watching as you and Hayden laughed together looking thick as thieves.

He quickly took his opportunity to squeeze his way into the space Hayden had once taken up. Carmy could feel the tension as he stood next to you, he quickly handed the Polaroid off to Sugar so she could take the picture before making his way back to your side.

Neither of you spoke a word as you got into position standing in a side hug so the awkward tension between the two of you wouldn’t be as noticeable in the final photo. As you fixed yourself to make sure you were presentable, Carmy found himself enraptured with you carefully sliding his arm around your waist.

The way you had chosen to style your hair was something he wasn’t accustomed to. The new style allows the angelic planes of your face to be showcased, the apples of your cheeks and your cheekbones catching his eye. The pretty sparkly stuff on your eyelids catching the dimming sunlight he was almost tempted to touch it. He liked the earrings you had chosen and the way the pearls sat so prettily around your neck he wanted to trace each one.

The square neckline of your dress showcased your perfectly sculpted collarbones. Carmy was so lost in his study of you he hadn’t thought twice about running his thumb across the one closest to him. The touch tickled you enough that your body was now slightly turned into his. Carmy cleared his throat, “Uh…um there was a bug.” He watched as you nodded along with his lame excuse.

Your hand came up to smooth out his pocket square that sat atop his heart. Carmy caught your eye before you could face the camera head-on, he gave your waist a slight squeeze to give himself a boost of confidence. Carmy watched as you stared up at him questionably the two of you just staring at each other for a moment.

Carmy’s eyes darted over your face, taking in your features before losing himself to the shape of your lips for a moment. “I think you look beautiful tonight Baby.” The words left Carmy’s lips with no sense of apprehension, no shyness. He was sure of himself; sure of his statement.

You had leaned into him a little bit more, your eyes rapidly blinking as your brain realized what he said. Carmy watched as a small shy smile graced your lips, his own soon following as he realized just how important it was to keep that pretty smile in his life.

Unbeknownst to the two of you Sugar had watched the whole moment play out, quickly raising the Polaroid to capture the intimate moment between the two of you. A moment she was hoping would finally lead to more between the two of you.

“Thank you Carmy,” Carmy watched as you leaned in slightly before stopping yourself and quickly readjusting so you were facing Sugar head-on. Carmy wasn’t sure what had changed between the two of you in these last couple of weeks but as Carmy forced himself to look away from you, he found himself thankful for whatever ushered in that change.

Carmen Berzatto knew at that moment, he would want for no one else the way he did you. And he would spend every day for the rest of his life proving that he was enough for you.

You and Hayden were leaning against his car as the two of you watched Carmy walk Claire down the street to her own house. Hayden had volunteered to drive you all to prom, and when your fun was done there happily drove you all to The Beef, excited to try the sandwiches you couldn’t stop raving about.

And now the night had come to an end, the four of you all ending back up at your starting destination. You thought the media embellished high school prom a bit, but you hadn’t regretted your decision to go and were happy to have spent such a memorable night with people whose company you enjoyed.

Hayden’s arm was brushing against yours, his suit jacket almost swallowing you up. You were grateful for the jacket, the night growing colder as time went on. The two of you were calmly standing in each other’s presence, the silence not bothering either of you. Tonight with Hayden was fun, you enjoyed how goofy he was. Always doing what he could to make you smile and laugh, you were scared things might have been awkward due to the romantic undertone of the event.

“I had a really good time tonight Hayden, thank you for being my date.” You couldn’t help the shy smile on your lips, you were sure your cheeks would be sore from smiling the whole night away.

Hayden sent you a bright smile of his own head nodding along, “Me too, I’m glad you decided to ask me.” The two of you stood there for a moment just smiling at each other.

In the movies, this was usually the moment a kiss would happen. But you weren’t sure if you wanted Hayden to kiss you, you enjoyed his company and you thought he was a great guy but you didn’t feel anything romantic for him yet and didn’t want a single kiss to lead him on.

You leaned up slightly, your lips caressing his cheek as a form of thanks. “Maybe…we could hang out some other time?” If you were really going to put your happiness first it would be necessary to put yourself out there.

“I’ve got you till the end of July don’t I?” Your eyes find Hayden’s cheeky smile as his hand raised your chin. You nodded eyes searching his face, wondering what these next two months might hold for the two of you.

His thumb began to rub back and forth on your chin, your breath hitching as you watched him lean down. Mind going blank, panic filling you as you tried to figure out if this was something you wanted. You stood still, nerves racing through your body as you were about to have your first kiss.

You watched as Hayden’s eyes flicked to the side before he reluctantly stepped back, thumb brushing your chin one final time before his hand returned to its side. You followed his line of sight to see Carmy approaching, standing a little distance away to wait for you.

Turning back to Hayden you sent him one last smile, the boy pulled you into a hug engulfing you with a slight kiss pressed to the top of your head before the two of you moved apart. You quickly slipped off his jacket before handing it to him, moving back so he could get in his car. You watched as he sent Carmy a small nod in goodbye before his car disappeared down your street.

Letting out a small sigh you turned to where Carmy was waiting for you a shy smile on his face. You smiled back as you approached him the two of you walking up the sidewalk to his front door, you knew your mom and aunt would still be here at this time.

The two of you entered the house greeting the four women that were sitting in the living room having their small party. Questions were thrown at both of you about your time and making sure your dates made it home safe all the usual questions to be expected after prom. You listened as your mom told you that you would be leaving soon. Knowing that when it came to your mom soon could mean in the next five minutes or the next two hours.

Your eyes found Carmy’s as you let out a small yawn, his eyebrows raising in question before nodding towards his room. You made your way to follow him up the stairs too tired to contribute to the conversation happening in the living room.

Entering Carmy’s room you made your way to the foot of his bed to sit down, quickly removing your heels a sense of relief filling you. Dropping your heels you watched as Carmy stood by his door looking as though his mind was racing. You smiled at him patting the spot next to you, a sort of peace offering.

“How was your night, Carmy?” You watched as he made his way to sit next to you, head falling to rest on his shoulder as you awaited his response.

“It was fun, yeah, Claire was really nice.” You watched as he blushed, you might have felt a little sad any other night but right now you were too exhausted to care.

“Why didn’t you kiss Hayden?” The question hit you like a shot of espresso. You raised your head from Carmy’s shoulder trying to find his eyes as he kept his head focused on his clasped hands. “I don’t know, I don’t think it felt right.” You genuinely had no good explanation for Carmy, you didn’t even have one for yourself.

“Did you kiss Claire?” Your question came off a little more hostile than you had intended. Carmy sat up, eyes finally meeting yours as he shook his head. You felt guilty at the relief that flooded through you.

“No, it didn't feel right.” You let out a small laugh at the recycled explanation, a similar one leaving Carmy’s lips as he didn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Gosh we’re such losers,” you giggled, bumping your shoulder with Carmy’s. “I thought for sure you would’ve taken your chance to kiss Claire tonight.” You wiggled your eyebrows in a teasing manner, the ice that had been ruining your friendship this past week seemingly forgotten.

Carmy gulped as he continued to study you. “Maybe she wasn’t the girl I wanted to kiss tonight,” Carmy’s words caused your joking mood to quickly sober up, the smile disappearing from your face completely as you realized just how intently he was staring at you.

“Carmy,” your voice trailed off, not sure what the boy in front of you was getting at. You stood up needing a bit of space to understand the underlying message in Carmy’s words. “Carmy, what are you talking about?”

He followed your movements, the two of you both standing up now, faces inches apart. You couldn’t help but follow Carmy’s tongue as it quickly traced his lips, your own coming out to wet yours. The room was silent as you waited for Carmy to say something, anything. Your heart began to beat faster as the 10 words Carmy spouted in your direction gave you a sense of hope.

Your breath hitched as you watched Carmy’s hand raise, his eyes falling to your neck. You felt his fingers delicately trace the path of borrowed pearls, each touch leaving behind a whisper of something you couldn’t place. You allowed him to continue, too nervous to say anything at that moment.

His hand began to trace its way up the side of your neck, soft touch making your knees weak. He looked to be in a trance lost in the idea of you. A gasp escaped your lips as his hand gripped the side of your neck, fingers gently tugging the hair at the nape of your neck.

Carmy couldn’t explain it, but this, you standing so beautifully in his room right now, lips parted slightly as you waited for him to make the final move felt right. It felt so right it didn’t matter who either of you went to prom with, it didn’t matter that this would be the first kiss for both of you. What mattered was that it was you here with him; you who had always been with him, he would’ve given everything to be deserving of you.

The small nod of your head was the last sign Carmy needed before he surged forward capturing your lips in a harsh kiss. The two of you were so inexperienced your teeth clashed together. The roughness brought the both of you back down to earth, you couldn’t help but laugh at how awkward that first kiss was. You didn’t even think it could even be considered a kiss, more so a smack of lips against each other.

You watched the shy blush rise on Carmy’s cheeks, you could tell he was feeling self-conscious about the whole situation. Your hand raised to gently caress the hand that was still placed on the side of your neck.

Eyes locked you sent him a warm smile leaning in slightly a small whispered “c’mere” breathed between the two of you as you gently pressed your lips into his. Your eyes closed as you felt Carmy relax into the embrace, a sigh leaving his lips as he tugged you closer by the hand wrapped around your neck.

The two of you pulled apart eyes fluttering open as you drank in each other. Neither of you say anything for a moment, the room is filled with the sounds of your soft breathing. You couldn’t believe this was finally happening, all these months of unrequited feelings and secret pining, and here you were kissing Carmen Berzatto in his bedroom.

You watched as Carmy let out a shy laugh, thumb caressing the space behind your ear. Your smile matched his, the two of you watching the other with goofy smiles playing on your lips.

“Can I-,”

“Yes.”

Carmy gave you no chance to finish your sentence before he eagerly agreed and surged back in to kiss you. His lips felt like heaven against your own, you had wondered what this moment would feel like if it ever happened. If Carmy’s lips felt as soft as they looked, what would their natural taste be like?

The kiss continued as Carmy’s tongue poked out to shyly glide across your lips, you smiled into the kiss before parting your own. Easily inviting him in, the two of you languidly moved in sync, no battle to be fought as the two of you enjoyed the caress of each other’s mouths.

You couldn’t help but moan into Carmen’s mouth a hunger you didn’t know you had finally being satisfied. The small tug on your hair caused your mouth to open wider, the kiss becoming sloppy as the two of you gave in to your desires. You felt Carmy’s hand delicately trace your neck, his infatuation constantly leading him back to it.

The bite on your lip caused a harsh gasp to leave your lips, Carmy quickly pulling away at the noise. He looked at you with wide fearful eyes scared that he hurt you, ruining a good moment too soon.

“I - I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to.” Seeing Carmy so worried and vulnerable at the moment sent a thrill of warmth through your body. Your confidence grew as his faded, you took a small step into his space backing him up into the foot of the bed which caused him to resume his sitting position.

You could get used to looking down at Carmy.

You raised the hem of your dress so you could maneuver yourself into his lap, arms going to wrap around his neck. Carmy watched you like a deer in headlights, this new sense of confidence making you feel brave. As Carmy sat there like a statue you gently removed your hands from around his neck to guide his to your waist.

His hands squeezed your hips as you quickly adjusted yourself in his lap, Carmy’s eyes following the hem of your dress as it moved up more exposing your thighs. “Won’t you kiss me again Carmy?” The small whisper bounced off of Carmy’s lips due to your proximity, you watched as he rapidly nodded his head, hands squeezing your hips for dear life. You gave him a small smile before the both of you surged forward eager to be connected again.

As the kiss between you deepened you began unconsciously rolling your hips into Carmy’s the feel of his lips searing into yours making you want more. You listened as a strangled noise left Carmy’s lips before he pulled away again, you quickly stopped your ministrations.

“Is this okay, do you want me to stop?” The question caused Carmy’s head to rest against your rapidly rising and falling chest.

“No-no I-I just need a minute.” You were beginning to feel guilty, maybe you had come on too strong and Carmy was just confused about his feelings. You began moving to get off of his lap not wanting him to be any more uncomfortable than he probably was.

You stopped as a blissful sigh escaped Carmy’s lips, his eyes finally moving to meet yours. You sat there silently as the grip on your hips tightened a sigh parting your lips as Carmy bucked up into you while he guided you back and forth. The direct eye contact somehow increased the sensation between the two of you.

“I-I like it when you move like that.” You nodded along to Carmy’s words, continuing the movements yourself as Carmy’s lips found your neck trailing open-mouth kisses on any bare piece of skin he could. One hand quickly reached up, sliding the thin strap of your dress down, so he could finally appreciate your collarbones in the way they deserved.

In all honesty, neither of you had any clue what the hell you were doing, but whatever it was, it was working. No matter how messy the touches were, or how sloppily you were kissing each other every movement felt right.

Carmy was lavishing your chest and neck in any way that he could, kisses trailing over each collarbone. An impromptu bite in the space where your neck and shoulder met caused your breath to hitch. Your hips created a rhythm against his as the two of you lost yourself to the bliss.

A loud knock at the door interrupted the two of you. Carmy quickly removed his lips from your neck, doing his best to shield your body in case someone walked in. Neither of you knew how long it had been, too caught up in losing yourself to each other, too caught up to realize how far things had almost gone.

The knock sounded again as your aunt said your name, “We’re heading out, meet us downstairs.” Footsteps leading away from the door calmed the nerves both you and Carmy had been feeling, eyes peeling away from the door to match with each other.

No one said a word as the two of you stared at each other, you taking in Carmy’s flushed appearance. As he admired your disheveled figure above him, the confidence quickly left your body as you shuffled to get off of his lap.

The hand on your hip stopped you as you eyed him curiously, he slowly reached up to fix the straps that he had slid off of your shoulders, the slow shy touches caused your head to spin. He helped you stand up before adjusting the hem of your dress. You quickly glanced away as he tried to subtly adjust himself.

The shout of your name from downstairs forced you to rush to his bathroom mirror to fix any obvious differences in your appearance. By the time you came back, Carmy was holding one of his knit crew necks out for you to slip on.

His hand reached up to scratch the back of his neck, “Uhh, it's cold outside.” You smiled gratefully before slipping the crew neck on, quickly scooping up your heels as you made your way to the door. You turned around facing Carmy one last time with a wide smile on your face, you leaned in prepared to end the night with a sweet kiss.

Carmy leaned in pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead, the two of you scoring the intimate moment. Carmy couldn’t help but smile as he watched you leave wearing his knit crew neck, part of him hoping it smelled of your scent upon its return.

Carmy hadn’t expected the night to take the turn it did, but he was thanking his lucky stars that you went along, no questions asked. Neither of you knew what this meant for the future of your friendship, or if this would blossom into something more. But the two of you were both lost in the bliss of your actions to think too long on it for the rest of the night.

Sunday Evening

You hadn’t seen much of Carmy over the rest of the weekend, instead spending the free time with your mom and aunt. You also weren’t quite sure how to approach him, and the fact that he hadn’t approached you either signified you were both at a standstill, neither of you sure how to broach the topic.

It was Sunday evening and you were on your way to The Beef picking up an extra shift after Mikey called to ask if you could come in. Richie had to leave early for whatever the hell he did in his spare time.

As you parked in the back lot, you were surprised to see Carmy sneaking through the back door. Your heart began to thud a little faster, it was stupid, but you hadn’t thought you’d be seeing him so soon. You sat there for a moment calming your nerves, you were sure the conversation wouldn’t be brought up while you were working, but maybe Carmy came here looking for you specifically.

You got out of your car, locking it behind you before entering the establishment. Quickly punching your time card before grabbing one of the spare aprons and heading to check in with Mikey.

The dinner rush would be starting soon and since Richie was gone you’d have to balance working the cashier and running food to the diners. You walked around, head popping into the office to let Mikey know you were there.

The two of you crashed into each other as he was making his way to the kitchen, arms shooting out to steady you so you didn’t fall.

“Thanks for coming Baby, but uh if you wanna go home I won’t stop you.” You watched Mikey awkwardly scratch the back of his head, eyes darting around the kitchen as he watched the controlled chaos ensue. Surprise etching your features, not used to Mikey being the awkward Berzatto in your life.

“No, I don’t mind kind of needed to get out of the house anyways,” you smiled at home before heading to the front to take care of the line that was beginning to form.

Most of the orders were for takeout so you hadn’t been rushing back and forth too much. But the Johnsons, an old couple who ate dinner here every Sunday, was your first dine-in order, the two greeting you before heading back to their favorite table.

You turned to the window waiting for the order you had already given, watching as Tina made her way to you apprehensively.

“I can run this for you Mama if you want me to.” You shook your head sending her a smile before taking the two red baskets from her hand and making your way to the dining area, eyes instantly spotting the older couple.

“Two famous Italian beef sandwiches for my favorite regulars,” you smiled down at the couple setting a tray in front of each one respectively.

“Say, honey, isn’t that your little friend over there?” You watched as the woman subtly pointed at another table, you and her partner both taking in the scene in front of you.

You felt a wide smile spreading over your face as you took in Carmy’s figure, the shyness exuding off of him. His lips brandishing a small smile, it took the laughter of his table mate to slap the rose-colored glasses off your face.

So caught up in your infatuation with the boy you’d been crushing on and finally got to kiss the other night, you hardly noticed Claire.

The two women sitting at the table in front of you sharing a knowing look, guilt seeping through as they alerted you to something you’d rather be ignorant to.

“I’m so sorry honey, I didn’t mean to upset you. Mabel been telling me I oughta learn when to shut my big mouth. If I ain’t listen 20 years ago I sure wasn’t gone figure it out by now.” You let out a sad pathetic laugh at Ms. Sadie’s explanation doing your best to compartmentalize your feelings.

“Shame though Baby, that boys missing out on something good. You looked at that boy like he parted the heavens and earth. My Mabel used to look at me like that, you know, the only thing she looks at like that now is cake and these damn beef sandwiches.” Ms. Sadie’s laugh unconsciously draws one of your own, finally taking your attention from Carmy and Claire.

“Oh hush up now Sadie and let the girl get back to work,” another watery laugh escaped your lips. “Talking this sweet girl's ear off like she wants to listen to you on top of watching the boy she loves on a date.”

Your head shot to Ms. Mabel’s slightly taken aback by her word choice, she settled you with a look. “Don’t go giving me that look now. You may be foolin' that boy and yourself but you ain’t foolin' anyone with eyes baby.” You let her reach out to gently pat your hand, the two women in front of you made it hard to keep your calm facade up.

“You gone on and head home Baby, and if Michael has a problem with it you let him know Ms. Mabel and Ms. Sadie said it was okay.” You let out a real laugh, the sound caught the one boy’s attention you didn’t care for right now.

“And tell your momma to stop by if she’s ever feeling up for it,” you sent the couple a small smile nodding your head. “Yes ma’am, you two enjoy the rest of your night.” With that, you began your journey out of the dining room.

You stopped as you heard Claire call out your name, turning inside the doorway as she sent you a wave, returning a small one as you purposefully avoided giving Carmy any attention.

You made your way into the kitchen no one needed to ask what was wrong as they took in your somber mood. You silently slid into the walk-in, maybe it was unsanitary but you didn’t think you could face anyone as you finally let the first sob wrack your body.

The fact that you knew this incident wouldn’t change your friendship with him irritated you to no end. But you cared for him so much that you just couldn’t force yourself to quit him. Maybe this move was what you needed, the time spent apart would allow you to discover who you were outside of Carmen Berzatto. You would do your best to allow the friendship between the two of you to keep flourishing, but whatever Carmy decided was best for him, you’d just have to live with it.

You hadn’t realized how long you were standing in the walk-in until Mikey entered. Body engulfing yours in a hug as his warmth radiated through you. The older Berzatto allowed you to stain his shirt in tears, neither of you saying a word as the sound of your sorrow painted the walk-in.

The youngest Berzatto’s hand stilled on the door handle as he listened to your faint cries. His own heart broke as he realized that he hurt you again. Head hitting against the exterior of the door, he didn’t deserve you, didn’t know if he ever would. Carmy forced himself to listen to your faint sobs wanting to console you at this moment but not knowing where the two of you stood.

Two friends stood on opposite sides of a steel door, hearts breaking in unison as it felt like everything was fighting against what they both wanted. July would come and they would part ways, promises whispered to stay in contact and remain friends, neither soul knowing what the years apart would have in store for them.

a/n: i apologize if anything in this chapter doesn't make sense or is wonky, i've been editing for 3 days straight and i feel like i can't read english anymore. hope you enjoyed! i also have a whole playlist if anyone is interested!

taglist: @hawkins-2000 @elliesbabygirl @allbark-no-bite @anakinswh0re3005 @rexorangecouny @thecraziestcrayon @fruitcupsworld @nishinoyahhh @lilylovelyxo @ridingthehotmessexpress @noas-ark @jadeittic @hellokittyever @luvr-bunnyy @sxgees @fandomhopped @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @kravitzwhore @chanluuvr @readingwiththereids @chims-kookies @ladygrey03 @ferida-kahlo @wanderlustnightwanderer @how2besalty @armydrcamers @jointherebellion215 @jackierose902109 @blkbxrbie-esther @ajordan2020 @head-slut-in-charge @magnet-girl @thebookwormlife @sevikasblackgf @writers-hes @senassn

unable to tag: @khena @kailyn-g05 @ovaqma @fire-treasure-iii @frequentnosebleeder @gcidrvsh @awatt31 @cauliflowerpatch

[no-droids]

Another Rough Day

gif credit @chrishemsworht

Part Twenty of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 13.7K

Warnings: Angst, violence, canon-typical blood and gore, language, hurt/comfort

A/N: i wanna thank yall for sticking around during my hermit era, in the time ive been gone i am now officially a junior at a university majoring in aerospace and it’s a fuckin nightmare and i hate everything and god help us all literally kill me and I will be posting INCREDIBLY slowly because of that (I’m talkin weeks or months in between updates yall, im sorry I can’t dedicate more time to this but I am going to finish this fic within the next handful of chapters idk maybe 5 or 6 so you shouldn’t have to wait too too long).  As a heads up there will be hard angst as we enter the final arc, there will be hurt and it’ll get dark but everything is gonna turn out alright so thanks for sticking with me and continuing to stick with me. im sorry if you dont like it or your expectations were subverted or if this isn’t what you’d hoped it would be after following and waiting around for so long but this was planned a long time ago and it took me a good year or two to recognize that I started writing this fic for me and now I’m going to end it writing for me and I hope yall can respect that

ALSO I asked my best BEST FRIEND in the entire world @cptnbvcks to collaborate with me for this after we both took a very long break from creating and she drew some GORGEOUS artwork for this chapter so it will be posted at the end, everyone please go follow her and say hello

ps brittany girl you’re a fuckin menace i had to use my own two ears and listen to ethan literally say the words “the mandalorian cums, hard” what the fuck was that im actually suing

anyways chapter below the cut lets get serious yall

---

You take two of them down before they even realize they’re being attacked.

Your aim is as swift and steady as if Din were behind your shoulder right now, calmly pointing out which stationary tree to hit next in rapid succession.  You’re positioned perfectly at the bottom of the ramp to take full advantage of the ambush, the only thing running through your mind is strategy and the constant calculating of angles and ricochets.  The other three troopers are trapped inside the open Crest and you’re right next to a large boulder that you can step behind for cover, but it proves unnecessary as the rumors were apparently true.

They’re… awful.

Not a single blaster is even fired in your direction—you think you see maybe one panicked red shot bounce around in the hull, but that’s it.  The troopers fumble for their guns and trip over each other at the unexpected attack—a few scream like children through the modulators, but you’re temporarily deaf to anything besides the screech of your weapon hitting its target and the crumpling of armored bodies.

Later on, if someone were to ask you to describe exactly what happened—who died first, who ran for cover, who cried out for help—you don’t think you’d be able to.  You don’t even really feel like a person right now.  The entire thing is cold, robotic survival instinct, pure ruthlessness rising in your soul for the first time in your life.  It feels sick.  Wrong in your bones.  Born from preemptive defense in fear of your life, but that doesn’t mean you stop.  Not until all of them stop moving.

You empty the entire fucking canister for a handful of stormtroopers, firing plasma and char marks across every square inch of the pristine hull even after the last one drops.  Your heart is beating too fast, your finger keeps pulling the trigger multiple times even after the blaster clicks uselessly, completely empty and beeping a warning that it must’ve begun emitting ages ago.  Being out of ammo scares you—you suddenly feel vulnerable, even though the very far away logical part of your mind reminds you that they have to all be dead at this point and no physical threat was ever able to graze you.

Regardless, you quickly spin behind the boulder and grab another canister from your belt, giving it a spare check for leaks while the empty one slides and drops to the rocky ground.  It’s the first time you’ve ever had to reload this weapon instead of just pointing and shooting, but the mechanics are relatively simple and your brain makes up for your lack of coherent thoughts with lightning fast perception.  What's difficult is that your hands are starting to shake now that you’re not aiming, you’re not breathing correctly because you’re not really breathing at all.  You can’t tell the difference between the adrenaline-fueled dissociative silence that muffles everything around you or if it really is just that quiet now.  No more clatter of armor, no modulated voices or terrified screams.  No blasters, no footsteps along the ramp, no birds singing.

You quickly pause to lift your elbow and check the enormous eyes blinking up at you, tiny claws still holding tight to the fabric of your tunic and completely unharmed, and then you force yourself to move.  The blaster is held out in front of you while you walk forward and your finger rests on the trigger, begging to be pulled again.  It’s suspenseful and terrifying in a different way than before—now it’s less about psyching yourself up for confrontation and more about the fact that any sudden movement could mean your very swift end.

Silence.  Silence.  You’re numb and raw at the same time, walking up the ramp as your eyes fly everywhere, not even registering the blood or gore, just searching for movement.  You don’t know if you feel like a predator or prey, you’re that much more brutal and inhuman because of how fucking terrified you are.  You count four stormtroopers in the hull laying crumpled and still on the metal floor, but the one in the far corner only has blood on his shoulder.  You quickly swing the blaster around to remedy that, but then—

“P-Please don’t kill me!”

His words remind you of something.  Reality, maybe.  A world outside yourself and the kid’s survival, the living beings behind the bloody armor your enemies wear.

It’s a miracle your finger stays hovering over the trigger, and you watch him throw the blaster at your feet with a clang and scramble to show you his empty hands.  “Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me—I’m not loyal to the Empire, I don’t want to be here, please, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die—”

Behind the mask, your expression furrows.  Stormtroopers are loyal to the bitter end, what is he saying?  They embrace their expendiality, it’s the only thing that makes them any sort of a real threat.  Kuiil told you horror stories about them during your childhood, the cloning facilities and the propaganda they’re force fed since infancy.  It’s nearly impossible to find one who hasn’t been raised from birth to serve the Empire, no matter how crumbled and trace its remaining authority may be.

No, this is a trap, it has to be.  Your expression twists with dread after hearing him speak, readjusting your aim with the blaster and preparing yourself for the years of nightmares that’ll follow—but then he cries out, “Wait!” and then removes his helmet with trembling hands.

You pause, staring down at him in shock.

It’s him, you recognize him immediately.  It’s the same face from a hologram puck you bore into your memory, spent multiple days staring at so you’d be able to spot him under any disguise or circumstances.  Oshua Ryler.  Your quarry, the fifth puck, the one Din was out Maker knows where searching for before this entire mess happened.  A stormtrooper?  His puck said nothing about the Empire, this doesn’t make any sense.  What is he doing here?  Stormtroopers don’t have pucks, they don’t have bounties or relatives or loved ones searching for them.  They’re brainwashed, replaceable, faceless soldiers in suits of armor and they don’t even have names.

“Please don’t kill me,” he begs again, staring at you with wide eyes even as he cowers.  “I have a family, I-I just want to go home, please—”

“Shut up.”  You can’t think straight with him crying like that and you’re wasting so much time just standing here trying to process when your brain had to literally shut itself down to even do the things you’ve already done.  You have to kill him and escape, you have to—you can’t trust this complication, not with the tiny claws currently digging into your back and reminding you of your purpose, but it was so much easier when he had on a helmet.  You hate looking at his face.  It’s going to haunt your dreams now, just like the man you stabbed on Corellia.

“Please don’t kill me—please don’t kill me,” he screws his eyes up and breathes over and over instead, and your stomach wrenches with disgust.  His posture and expression are so fucking pitiful, you can barely keep your eyes on him through the overwhelming nausea and aversion that climbs up your throat.  He’s with the Empire, and they’re looking for the baby.  You know what needs to be done.  Pull the trigger, just one small movement from you and it’ll be all over.  It would be the easiest thing in the world, it would be so easy.

But then instead, you ask, “Why are you a stormtrooper?”

“I’m n-not—I hate the Empire—”

“The Empire is ashes.”  You don’t know if you’re yelling or whispering with how much blood is roaring through your ears.  “They hold no power anymore.  Why are you with them?”

“Because the one thing they have left is money!”  The quarry shrills the words at you, ghostly pale to the point of turning green.  “Th-They buy troopers now—they opened up a whole new market for the smugglers, there’s a base nearby that’s used for training and…”  He stares wide eyed at you and gulps.  “C-Conditioning.”

Your brain is already going a trillion lightyears an hour and it doesn’t have the capacity to empathize or understand anything beyond the child’s survival and the relevant details right now.  “Were they expecting the baby?”

“W-What?”  He squeaks up at you.

“Was the bounty put out on you a trap set by the Empire?”  You ask him, lifting your free arm just enough to flash him the tiny child clinging to your side.  “He said they’re coming after the baby, so tell me if this was planned from the beginning.”

“Who is ‘he’?”  The stormtrooper asks, furrowing his eyebrows and looking around.  “What are you talki—”

“Tell me if the bounty on you was a trap to take this baby!”  You roar, your blaster shaking as you aim it down at him.  Your mind is acutely focused on the tiny claws hanging onto your tunic, the continued safety of the kid and the life or death situation facing him that you were given absolutely no information about.  “Now—”

“If it was I didn’t know!”  He quickly cries out, pleading with you and clamping his eyes shut in terror under the barrel sight.  “I don’t know anything about a b-baby, or a bounty!  They just put blasters in our hands and told us to search for a ship and to bring back anyone we find alive, I swear!”

You’re silent for a moment, biting your lip under the mask and caught halfway between discerning and stalling.  You could still kill him.  You should still kill him, time is ticking down and more troopers could be heading this way any second.

Shit.  “Who put the bounty out on you?”  You ask sharply.  It might not be a completely fair question, but he can’t exactly blame you for not feeling completely fair right now.

“I—I don’t know,” he gasps, clutching his bleeding shoulder.  “Could’ve been anyone—my mother, Cyra, o-or my dad, Obediah, or Thia, or Benja, or S—”

“Thia,” you interrupt his rambling, catching the slurred word and repeating it back to him.

“Yes!”  Oshua jerks his head up, tears and hope immediately filling his eyes at the sound of her name, “Yes, Thiadura Celi Ryler, that’s my sister!”

Maker, if he’s lying, then he’s fucking brilliant at it.  You look towards the cockpit of the ship, biting your lip under the mask.  Get to Nevarro, tell Karga and he’ll… something.  Din was cut off before he finished.  Help?  Know what to do?  You’re lost, but you have a clear directive and the precious seconds are sliding by.  The controls are right up there, two steps to the ladder and less than a minute until you’re rising into the atmosphere.

But then you think back to the terror in Din’s voice.  The blistering panic that made him speak faster and with more urgency than you’ve ever heard from him.  Get to Nevarro.  Tell Karga.  Get to Nevarro.  Tell Karga.

You look back at the quarry.  “How many of you are there?”

“At the base?  Around three hundred,” he immediately spills.  “Half of us are in the hole right now getting brainwashed, they do it in shifts, but they can be mobilized in a few hours.  There were a lot of bodies outside when we were ordered to split off, maybe a third of our squadron, but the rest were still shooting at whatever was—”

“So around a hundred left,”  You finish breathlessly, almost wanting him to speak faster and cut to the chase so you can calculate quicker.  “How many were dispatched on the search?”

“Uh, there were eight groups of five sent in each major direction,” he informs you, still trembling on the ground.  “Told us not to come back until we covered the entire sector.”

Of which, four you’ve already taken care of.  In other circumstances, you’d be nauseated at the thought, but right now, it’s just another number to subtract, just more panicked math in Din’s frightening absence.  That leaves at least sixty troopers left wherever the base is, minimum, and likely a couple more hours before they’ve combed the sector.  If this wasn’t a preconceived trap purposefully set for the kid, then that means reinforcements haven’t arrived yet but likely will soon.  And if this is a base meant for training and conditioning, then that also means there’s a chance not all of them will be loyal yet.

You make the decision immediately.

“Okay,” you announce, clicking the blaster’s safety switch and holstering it, sounding lightyears more certain than you feel.  “Then you’re going to help me carry out a rescue mission, and I’ll take you back to your sister.”

“You…”  He looks uncertain, blinking at your blaster and slowly lowering his hands.  “You want to rescue the men?”

Ideally?  Sure.  Realistically?  You don’t say anything in response.  Instead, you kick his regulation firearm at your feet further away from the quarry just in case your judgment is flawed, and then turn around and grab one of the bodies behind you.

Your adrenaline is still blaring so fast that you only just barely note the severity of what you’ve just done and what you’re continuing to do.  The corpses aren’t real to you right now, they’re inanimate things that you need out of your ship before you can close the doors to it.  They are, however, heavy as fuck, but the only other adult here has a wound in his arm from the gun on your hip.  Regardless, you have experience with lifting dead weight without a big, strong, capable man to do it for you.

“Help me out here, kid,” you mutter over your shoulder, and in response, you feel his claws dig in and climb up just a little bit until he can peek out in front of you.  Thankfully, the burden is suddenly lifted and you can quickly slide the dead troopers down the ramp with ease.  It takes hardly any time at all—you just yank and haul and release and all four of them tumble the rest of the way all by themselves.

When you stand back up, Oshua hasn’t moved and he’s looking at you with a pale, queasy expression.  Glancing down, you see that your white robe is now stained with streaks and patches of rusty blood.  Instead of swallowing back bile at the sight and bolting to the shower to scrub off every last remaining trace, you breeze past it, noting nothing more than a change of color.  Dirtying your white, pristine clothing with the consequences of protecting this baby—you’d rather have blood-soaked fabric with an unharmed kid clinging to you than any other combination of those things.

“Can you make it up to the cockpit?”  You ask the quarry, kicking his rifle off the ship before closing the ramp and then gesturing up the ladder.  Your voice is calm and steady but your hands are beginning to shake again.  “I need as much information as possible about the base.”  You know that’s where Din is, judging from the wall of blaster screeches that drowned him out through the comm.  Logically, you know you could be headed right into a trap, and every instinct inside you wants to find safety, but… you just cannot imagine flying the ship away from this planet without Din onboard.  It isn’t fucking happening, you’ve made your choice.

Without waiting for a response, you climb the ladder and plop down in the pilot’s seat of the Crest.  While Oshua finds some way to clamber up the steps behind you in bulky stormtrooper armor with one good arm, you hold the kid closer on your lap and begin flight checking.  Din will be fucking furious, but the scolding you’ll be sure to get is the least of your worries right now.  Following his instructions and going back to Nevarro is just making shit infinitely more dangerous for him, turning what could be a potential rescue mission into an undeniable suicide mission.  Even if Karga somehow decides to send a few guild members along to infiltrate the base, it’ll be a war you want to avoid.

Besides.  What did you always tell him about running away from him, even when he instructs you to?

It’s just… not really your thing.

---

They’re everywhere.

They crawl like flies out of the base, and for every single body that falls, three more spill from the open doors.  Rapid fire plasma beams launch from the end of Din’s blaster, melting white armor with every twitch of his gloved finger.  Their aim is terrible, as is to be expected, but the sheer number of them more than makes up for it, as is by design.

Din’s heart pounds with exertion, his breath comes in ragged huffs through the modulator as his helmet identifies and isolates which body is closest to him, which body he needs to bring down next.  His blaster is so hot it nearly burns his hand, even through the thick gloves he wears.  When he runs out of ammo, he holsters the pistol and swings his rifle from around his shoulder, spinning to catch a handful of troopers behind him in the obliterating blast.

He’s not thinking much.  He can’t think, even though your safety and that of his son is currently dangling by a thread.  If he focuses on that, he’ll be dead before he can even picture your faces.  He just reacts, he maims and kills without a single thought in his mind.  Blood splatters, screams and sirens blare as he becomes surrounded by more and more troopers.  Din can hear the sound of plasma colliding and ricocheting off his armor; every single one of them is a potential injury he could currently have but might not even be able to feel right now.

His helmet starts beeping rapidly and he turns just enough to see, highlighted in bright red on the screen, two enormous artillery turrets slowly rising up out of the roof of the imperial base.  He feels a fierce flash of anger burn in his chest, it’s like a lightning strike to his veins.

Din needs to go.

And yet… if he was another man.  If he wasn’t a father, or a husband, if he had no family and no attachments like the creed declared he should, he would go.  With just a twitch of his fingers, he could be launching into the sky and retreating as far away from this battlefield as he could reasonably get.  He’s never been the type to run from a threat, but this isn’t just a threat.  Dozens of troopers are gaining on him, they’re trampling their own dead to get within range.  Plasma pings off his shoulder, another one hits his back as they flank from behind.  He can feel the heat through the sizzling beskar, he can see them surrounding him on all sides, and the propulsion trigger for his jetpack is right there under his wrist.

Din holds his ground and continues firing, he plants his feet firmly to the dirt with only one thought in his mind.

Run, sweet girl.  Run.

---

You type in commands to scan for Din’s signal, quickly locating it through the Crest’s computer onboard.  Not far from here, three minutes or less.  The ship rumbles to life beneath you, slowly lifting off the rocky ground and rotating in place as it hovers.  It’s not on autopilot but you feel like you are, you can barely feel your hands as they move the yoke forward and the Crest takes off in the direction of Din’s blinking frequency.

“Tell me about defenses,” you instruct Oshua, restlessly bouncing your leg while the baby coos.

“Two plasma turrets on top of the base,” the quarry quickly answers.  “There’s usually guards stationed around the perimeter, but everyone who’s capable will be outside right now.”

Your mouth twists downwards under the mask.  Blasters don’t scare you much from this high up, but Din’s armor doesn’t cover every inch of his body, he’s not completely invincible.  Doubt churns in your stomach, but you have to stay focused on one task at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed.  The turrets, then.  “Are they automatic?”

“Manual,” he corrects with a shake of his head.

“Radar?”

“Old.  Only engages above fifty meters.”

You eye your altitude and dip the Crest considerably, beginning to weave through the rocky canyons and dodging crumbling cliffs while you travel.  “What about ships?”

“None,” Oshua says, “except for a passenger shuttle used for transport.  TIEs are flown in the Vesta sector, this base is remote and used for basic training only.”

“Anything else?”  You ask, stomach twisting with the knowledge that barely four questions is all you’ve got.  You’re planning to drop into an imperial base to save the man you love and you can’t think of a single other question?  

The quarry shrugs, and your heart slams, does somersaults in your chest at the mere notion that you could fucking die here.  Today, in two minutes or less, you could die here.  The child in your lap looking over the ship’s front panel with a quiet determination in his eyes could die here.  Din could already be dead—that signal broadcasts his location to this computer regardless of whether he’s still breathing or not.  He could already be gone and you’d be flying the baby right into a trap without knowing any differently.

Whelp, you think while taking a deep breath, some strangely calm existential acceptance beginning to flood your soul.  If he isn’t dead, he will be soon if you don’t make it to him on time.

You immediately lift your wrist and speak into the communicator.  “Mando?”  You have no idea if he can hear you, but you need to try anyway.  Your voice is still firm, there’s a strength to it you don’t feel in your chest, but it certainly sounds convincing.  “I’m coming to get you.  Less than a minute to your location, do everything you can to get outside.  If you can’t, I’ll just… uh.  Try to figure something else out.”

That’s it.  That’s it, improvise until you don’t have to.  Even if you’re lacking confidence, you can at least scrounge up some conviction.  Your arms gain feeling again while you veer the Crest through the stony terrain, the familiar reverberations under your feet begin to fill your body with a powerful sense of purpose.  Your breaths begin to come steady, every falling rock you see through the transparisteel feels like it drops in slow motion, allowing you to evade them easily.  It would normally be stupidly dangerous to fly this low with so many unexpected obstacles and hazards narrowly missing the ship, but considering what you’re flying into, a few boulders seems comical.

“Where’s your helmet?”  Oshua asks out of nowhere, and for a second, you don’t think you heard him correctly.

But then it strikes you all at once what he’s attempting to imply, and the sheer lunacy of the thought is enough to make you laugh while you clutch the controls.  “I’m not a Mandalorian.”

“You wear the armor of one,” he points out… rather fairly, you have to admit.  “You cover your face like one.  You have a blaster that fires Philithiorium, a rare and expensive gas native to Mandalore’s stratosphere, and you’re a bounty hunter—”

“I’m not a Mandalorian.”  Your words are short and cutting, you have a daunting task to focus on and don’t feel like having small talk right now.  “I’m not a bounty hunter, either.”

But then again, Karga made you a member of the Guild, didn’t he?  He handed you Oshua’s puck and said this one is for you to find, and you are technically part of a Mandalorian clan.  All of this seems like it happened without your knowledge.  You may be marrying a Mandalorian, you may wear his armor and mother his child and shoot a blaster with his signet branded into it, but war isn’t in your blood.  This robe was a costume when you first made it, this armor was a relic that was restored as a hobby.  In a sense, it still feels that way.  The mask covering your face lended itself to a temporary surge of bravery earlier, but beyond that, the only thing that’s keeping you moving forward now is your family.  The man you love that may or may not be alive right now, the baby holding tight to your leg while the ship sways and weaves through the stony landscape.

Your eyes quickly flick down to the child in your lap, both of his three fingered hands clutching onto the stained fabric of your knee without moving a single inch.  He’d know, you tell yourself.  If his father is gone, he’d already know somehow.  Din is still alive, and he’s counting on you.

---

There’s too many for Din to handle.

They swarmed him, overpowered his endless artillery with massive numbers and there’s nothing he can do anymore.  The backs of his knees are kicked from behind and he slams down to the ground with a clatter, his sizzling hot blasters are ripped from him, and Din folds his hands calmly behind his back even as one of the stormtroopers barks out, “Binders,” to another one, who disappears quickly in response.  In the meantime, a few of them apparently decide to just attempt holding his arms in place, and their measly combined grip is almost enough to make him roll his eyes under the helmet.  These imperial soldiers are even more pitiful than they usually are, but his silent resolve to stall to ensure your escape is enough to keep him stationary and compliant for the time being.

Eventually, a few voices call out from beyond the crowd and there’s some movement from the back.  Dozens of troopers with their blasters all pointed at him begin to shuffle to make way, careful to keep their barrels aimed at him while a path slowly forms.  The crowd of white parts and a stormtrooper with a singular red pauldron on his right shoulder saunters confidently towards Din as he kneels on the ground.

An officer, he assumes.  Conveniently missing from the firefight, the scanner inside his helmet would’ve caught the change in color and Din would’ve made sure to kill him first.

“Well now, what do we have here?”  Comes his thin metallic voice through the tinny filter.  The officer studies him curiously for a few moments, before slowly looking down by his feet, reaching out one cheap, plastic covered foot to gently nudge the body of a dead trooper on the ground with a sigh.  “What a shame.”

Coward, he thinks, his lip curling with disgust under the helmet.

“This is an imperial training base,” he turns his attention back to Din to inform him when he doesn’t immediately respond, rather stupidly he might add.  “How were you able to find us?”

Silence.  The grip on hands held behind his back is even looser now.  He just tilts his chin up slightly in defiance, the scanner inside his helmet locating each weapon strapped to the man’s body and highlighting it red.  Small text boxes blink into existence under each one with a manufacturer and classification—a BlasTech E-11 rifle, a Merr-Sonn thermal detonator, a Kolvo vibroblade—and Din is severely unimpressed with the quality.  The detonator is the only weapon that even catches his eye, and that’s only because the chamber inside that houses the explosive baradium has a release mechanism that’s completely dead.  Useless, then.  Good to know.

After a long moment of quiet tension where Din refuses to speak and the officer continues to confidently scrutinize him, in some strange sort of silent battle of egos that only one seems to have a genuine interest in, another stormtrooper makes his way to the front, shoving past his fellow soldiers to address the superior in charge.

“Commander, we’ve sent out an alert for an intruder,” he tells him, slightly out of breath from running through the crowd in the lightweight armor.  Din wants to roll his eyes, but what he says next makes him snap to immediate attention.  “The fleet informed us that Moff Gideon is currently on route.”

Gideon.  The last time someone spoke that name, it was a quarry on Coruscant and you just barely managed to stop Din from suffocating the bastard for even saying it aloud before freezing him in carbonite.  It would’ve meant half the return on a hunt that lasted nearly a month but he saw red and his hand was crushing his windpipe before he realized what happened.  But he’s dead, Din thinks with a clenched jaw and fists tightening behind his back, he watched that TIE fighter explode and slam into the ground, crushing the man inside it.  The wreck was unsurvivable, he can’t be alive.

“For what?  This Mandalorian?”  The trooper in charge scoffs in response, and Din remains completely mute.

“Yes, sir,” the other one confirms.  “Orders were to capture him, alive.”

“Hm.”  The officer turns his attention back to him, less analyzing and more musing while he tilts his head.  “I see,” he eventually says, and he sounds like he’s grinning, before strolling slightly closer as Din stays completely still on his knees.  “He must want the beskar.  I’m sure it’s worth more than this entire battalion combined.”

All of a sudden, a gloved hand carelessly catches the rim of his helmet and tugs, and Din’s movement is explosive.  He launches off the ground, arms easily slipping from the pathetic grip they were being held in and his fist colliding with the side of the officer’s flimsy white helmet, the plastic making a deafening crack against his face.

Multiple hands immediately rush forward to grab him and yank him back down again while the commanding trooper stumbles backwards in shock, and Din amicably drops to his knees and folds his hands behind his back once more like nothing happened at all.

“Binders!”  A trooper behind him roars loudly once more, and a few men surrounding him begin trotting away this time.

The officer in red stands a few feet away from him now, grabbing his helmet and twisting it back to its proper position on his head where it was skewed.  There’s a shattered hole near his jaw where the material splintered and busted like the cheap piece of banthashit it is, and while he might normally feel pleased with himself for being able to see his skin peeking through, it just fills him with more righteous fury.  It’s such a punchable jaw.

After a few awkward moments of silence, the other one clears his throat and continues.  “He… has inquired about the location and status of a child that should be accompanying him.”

Din inhales deeply through his nose and grinds his teeth.  He wants to snap their necks one by one for even just mentioning his son, but there are just too many, more than even his whistling birds can neutralize.  Still, he gave you as much of a head start as physically possible.  You should be rising into the atmosphere right now, making the jump into hyperspace towards safety.  Karga will know what to do—he’ll protect his family, separate you and the boy so the threat is evenly dispersed instead of collected all in one place, and arm dozens of trained hunters to keep watch over you both individually.  It’s the best Din can do, and it’s the only thing keeping his knees planted on the ground and his body completely motionless while they continue speaking.

“We are combing the sector for a ship with as many men as we can afford to lose,” the trooper in red says, but his voice filter is shattered and now sounds like a puny little droid with a broken voice box, “but our numbers are unimpressive.  Assistance may be required.”

It’s too late, Din thinks, mouth twitching under the beskar with a satisfied smirk.  They’re wasting their time, looking for a ghost.  You’re both long gone by now.  They’ve got no idea you even exist—

“He also spoke of a girl.”

And then he feels his heart stop in his chest.  Every single cell in his body turns to fire, it’s a fucking miracle he doesn’t move a muscle in response.  His sweet girl, the one so far removed from the nightmare of the Empire that she made best friends with the orphans of it.  How the fuck did he know?  He shouldn’t even be breathing, let alone gathering information about you, how did he know?

But then Din thinks back, remembering your makeshift bed on the floor, your panicked eyes and heaving chest as the quarry taunted him with a sick little smile.  Who’s this, Mando?  She’s just darling, isn’t she?  Does Gideon know your crew has a lovely new addition?

“A girl?”

The trooper nods.  “Moff Gideon insisted that if the Mandalorian did not have a child with him, then a girl would likely be protecting him instead.”

He’s going to kill them, Din decides.  Every single one of these imperial pigs, every single soldier standing right now is a dead fucking man.  The blood pumping through his body suddenly turns to acid, deadly black hate poisoning his soul.  His heartbeat morphs into a war drum, the armor strapped to his limbs is the barrel of a gun.  He’s going to fucking kill them and leave an imperial base full of bodies to greet his old nemesis upon his return, and he’s going to enjoy every single second of it.

Except, then—

“Mando?”  The sweetest voice in existence suddenly crackles through the earpiece under his helmet.  “I’m coming to get you.  Less than a minute to your location, do everything you can to get outside.  If you can’t, I’ll just… uh.  Figure something else out.”

And, as Din kneels there in surrender, surrounded by a crowd of enemies he thought he destroyed long ago, all the anger—all the fury and defiance and murder surging through his veins—suddenly morphs to fear.

The emotion is so foreign and old to him, it feels like a face he barely recognizes and a name he can’t remember.  He’s panicked before.  He’s been in situations where a threat has made him blind with rage, he knows what it’s like to look death straight in the eyes and say that he’s busy and to come back another time.  This is different.  This is ice cold that freezes over beskar.

He can’t speak out loud to warn you—he can’t move his hands to press the button on the back of his helmet and allow him to talk without detection.  There’s plasma turrets on the roof of the base, he can see them right now.  The helmet’s scanners say they’re manned and engaged, and though he is outside and this is how you retrieved him before whenever he needed a quick escape, he has fifty fucking imperial blasters trained on him and you know absolutely nothing about this threat.  You’re flying right into a war zone and if either you or his son dies, he won’t ever be able to forgive himself.

Behind the helmet, his eyes fly to each and every trooper, wondering which blaster will be the one to do it.  Which weapon is going to be the one he can’t block in time when you descend, the one that’ll kill him right in front of you.  Which turret will be the one to obliterate the Crest with you and his son inside of it.

“Maker, where are those fucking binders—” he hears someone behind him snarl, but the white noise of pure terror roaring through his ears drowns them out.  His chest starts heaving against his will, sheer panic begins to blur his vision.  For the first time in his life, his armor feels too heavy, his lungs feel like one of these boulders are sitting on them instead of beskar.

All too soon, his helmet starts making a familiar sound that signals quietly in his ear, alerting him of an incoming ship, and the only thing he can physically do is count down the seconds to prepare himself for what is to come.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two…

Like lightning, Din breaks the grip of multiple troopers and surges up, tackling the officer in red to the ground.  There’s a clatter as they both slam into the rocky floor, but in the ensuing scuffle, he easily snatches the thermal detonator from his side holster and holds it up for everyone to see, before pressing the red button on the front and hearing it begin to beep rapidly.

---

You’re right on time.

The Crest rises up through the rocky cliffs surrounding the base and you spot the turrets you were warned about.  Weapons controls are already engaged and you’re too low to be detected by radar—you fire once, twice, and blast both of them to smithereens from behind before they can even rotate around to target you.

Alarms start wailing but the guns are destroyed.  It’s not comforting, though; blasters won’t touch you up here, but that doesn’t mean they can’t fire at Din on the ground.  Your eyes dart across the sea of white, looking for a flash of silver anywhere, and then you spot him instantly in the chaos.

For some reason, the troopers in his vicinity all seem to be bolting away from him.  Their rifles are down, clutched in their hands while they nearly fall over each other to run away as fast as possible, and your heart soars when you spot his jetpack firing up.  Din launches into the sky while another trooper is revealed underneath him, seeming to juggle something in his hands and then throw it into the crowd of retreating soldiers, but the sight of the man you love rising into the air while a flurry of blaster shots from the far edges of the imperial structure follow him gives you the confidence to immediately turn the guns down towards the horde of troopers.

“Which ones are in charge?”  You ask Oshua breathlessly, who leans forward and points out the transparisteel.

“Red pauldrons—” he barely has time to say it before you aim and fire at one of the troopers wearing red that was closest to Din, the plasma beam launching from the Crest so powerful and devastating that it outright obliterates the surface he’s laying on.  Pieces of shattered armor fly and a smoking crater of rubble is all that’s left behind, but your mind is whirling and you’re already onto someone else wearing red at the edges of the complex, and then two more near the doors, and then another—

To their credit, you think the sixty or so soldiers in training seem to figure out that you’re not aiming into the enormous collection of them.  If you were, the damage would be catastrophic and spraying everywhere, but you’re precise and meticulous with your shots, and the only ones who are loyal enough to the cause to hold still and raise their blasters at the incoming threat tend to be the ones you need to mow down anyways.  The rest of them scatter in all directions, scrambling over each other to escape and then disappearing into the distant boulders surrounding the base—but you notice that not a single one of them runs back inside the safety of its open doors.

The hull dips with the weight of Din dropping in, and relief floods your soul even as you continue raining hell down on the superiors in charge.  Any flash of color you see is a target, your eyes lose focus of everything, your vision blurs and turns monochrome as you just search for red.

“Lift up!”  You hear Din’s voice roar from the hull.  You can hear his rifle unloading through the open door.  “Now!  We have to go now!”

You press the button to shut the hull door with Din inside and punch it, rising so fast that the shove of gravity makes it difficult to keep your head up.  Through the sudden surge of downward force, you just barely manage to raise your incredibly heavy arm to push the button that pressurizes the Crest and ignites the launch boosters, preparing the vessel for space travel.  Outside the transparisteel, the gray sky begins darkening as the atmosphere eventually disappears.  The ship’s engines roar, burning so much fuel at once that you’re actually accelerating through the climb, you’re boosting through the gradual ease of gravity as the planet’s curvature and glow becomes softer and softer below you.

As soon as the blackness of space begins to fill the windows, the slight subsiding of force allows you to plug in the coordinates for Nevarro with less difficulty, but you’re still moving, still rising, still escaping.  You can’t find it within yourself to slow down, but then something catches your attention.

Claws suddenly dig sharp into your thigh, sharp enough to sting and cause you to wince, and you look down to see that the kid has gone incredibly tense.  Deadly tense.  Your heart is still pounding even though you’re away from danger, you’ve got Din in the hull, everyone is safe, and yet—

It flickers into existence all at once.  One second it’s just space, just the endless depths of nothingness spread out for light years in front of you, and within the blink of an eye it’s suddenly there.

A star destroyer.

Your body freezes in horrified awe, having never seen a ship so fucking big in your entire life.  It looks like a massive satellite, the size of an enormous asteroid instantly appearing in your vision and dwarfing the vastness of space around it.  All the stars you used to dream about are suddenly blotted out within a fraction of a second, terror so immense seizes your soul that you stop thinking.  You stop calculating, you stop being yourself for a split second that lasts an entire lifetime.

Before you can move a single muscle, the computer beeps quickly and lurches the Crest into hyperspace.

---

The stars streak across the transparisteel like so many times before.  Utter silence nearly deafens you with how abrupt it is after so much noise, but the peace it used to bring does nothing to quell your fear.  Everything is the same as it always was, same bursts of light as you hurdle faster than it towards Nevarro, same quiet, same rumbling hum of the ship.  But now, everything has changed.

You hear the quarry next to you suddenly inhale and exhale loudly, and it shocks you a little bit, reminds you that there’s a person next to you and another is on your lap.  Other people exist outside of the vision of death that just flickered out of existence just as quickly as it appeared.  They’re breathing, Oshua is shakily unbuckling his seatbelt, life is continuing on in the quiet cockpit but you can’t seem to move like he is.  You can’t seem to breathe like he is.  It’s only when the baby slowly maneuvers himself around on your thigh and blinks up at you, placing a tiny hand on your stomach that you finally feel air enter your lungs.

After a moment, you reach down and click open your seatbelt with trembling fingers, scooping the kid up in your arms and slowly attempting to stand.  Everything feels wobbly and dreamlike, you have to brace yourself on the headrest to prevent yourself from falling back into the chair again.

“That was…” Ryler mutters, his voice sounding foggy and distant, “uh.  A close one.”

You look over at him, recognizing that he’s speaking but not quite able to understand the words right now.  Red catches in your vision, and you blink down at the way he’s clutching his left shoulder, the smear of blood darkening the white armor he’s wearing.  You blink a few more times at the sight of it, and though it feels like you normally would be sickened at the wound, somehow shocked out of your state of shock, it does nothing to you.  When you look back up at his face, his expression seems strangely grateful, even when it’s screwed up in what you know must be excruciating pain.    You did that, a quiet voice whispers in your mind, even though the rest of it seems incredibly blank.

Instead of responding, you stumble a few steps over to the ladder, spinning around and hesitating for a moment.  You’re severely lacking in coherent thought, but one thing seems to break through.  You’re not sure if you have enough coordination to do this safely right now.  However, when there’s movement in your peripheral and you look to see Oshua gently offering his right arm to you, seeming to understand you’d like to use both hands for this, you snap back to your senses just the slightest bit and hug the baby tighter to your chest.  Carefully, you begin making the slow climb down the ladder with the kid, still trembling with the aftershocks of adrenaline.  Your limbs feel extra heavy, but eventually the floor meets your feet.

Din is standing there when you slowly turn around, armor gleaming and still as a statue, but he has his back to you.  His helmet is tilted down at the ground, and when you follow his gaze, you’re met with the sight of the bloodstains of dragged bodies that leave dark red streaks all the way up the ramp.

You feel something this time.  It’s… cold.  A burning, searing cold that creeps into your skin.  Like your heart decides to pump nitrogen through your chest instead of warm blood.  You did that.

There’s a sudden urge inside of you to speak, to address him and inform him of your presence, tell him everything is okay, everything worked out, but you can’t find it in yourself to say a single word.  You can’t find a single word to say.  The kid twists as best he can in your clutch, his ears drag against your chest to greet his father, but for some reason, there’s still a strange sense of fear in your bones.  It’s enough to wake you up slightly, it’s enough to tell you it’s not over yet.  There’s a terror in your heart that hasn’t left since he first called over the comm and begged you to run, a crippling dread that you thought climaxed after seeing that star destroyer appear, but it’s somehow only increased after laying eyes on him like this.

You watch as his helmet turns, slowly meeting the pauldron on his shoulder, and for some reason, you feel yourself harden.  Your feet brace against the metal floor like this is another threat you have to face, you let its unyielding metallic strength transfer up through the souls of your boots to your heart in your chest.

But the second you hear cheap white armor clatter as the quarry steps down the ladder behind you, Din bursts into movement.  He suddenly spins and storms up to you in one single step while catching your holstered blaster on your hip.  It’s out and aimed in the blink of an eye, and it’s a miracle you remember how to speak before he remembers how to kill.

“Mando—” you warn, just in time for the quarry to land on the floor of the hull and turn around to reveal his face.

Din holds there for a second, his helmet locked on Oshua’s features.  His gloved fingers twitch wildly on the trigger of your gun held over your shoulder, like he has to remind himself multiple times not to.  You hear Oshua’s armor clack while he likely raises one good arm in surrender, but then Din’s helmet moves a fraction of a millimeter to your face and holds there.  He just stares down at you, and the air feels heavy, your body feels heavy, the feather light child in your arms feels heavy.

Slowly, he lowers his arm, lets it fall while he continues looking at you from behind the visor.  You look back at him, unblinking, unfeeling, and there’s a few seconds that last an utter eternity where nobody moves.  Nobody speaks, nothing happens, but then a soft coo comes from your arms before you can finally break eye contact, knowing there are still some things that need to be done.

You eventually turn around and lift your chin to address Oshua.

“You have to go into carbonite,” you inform him quietly.  Your voice sounds strange, like it’s coming from outside of yourself.  “We’re taking you to Nevarro, and then you’ll be transported to your home planet. When they unfreeze you, your sister will be there to collect you.”

He looks uncertain, one hand still raised while the other hangs uselessly at his side, and you don’t blame him.

But you also don’t feel like saying anymore, not unless he decides he doesn’t want to go in willingly.  Normally you might’ve tried to empathize, offer him further reassurance beyond just a couple short sentences, but you don’t.  Speaking feels difficult, thinking feels difficult.  You’re still in survival mode, not active but reactive.  There’s also no reason for you to lie to him about this, and you can see him glance at Din standing silently behind you, who hasn’t moved a muscle.

He eventually nods and you walk him over to the chamber without another word, watch him turn to face you as he backs into the opening while you reach up towards the control panel.

But then there’s a moment.  One where you hesitate slightly, one where your vision flashes back to the sight of those bloodstains on the floor, and that burning cold fills you again, so cold it feels completely numb.

“I’m… sorry,” you whisper quietly to him, though your voice sounds so empty.  There’s so much emotion that should be there but isn’t, so much regret and pain that should break through but can’t.  “I’m sorry I… killed your friends.”

Later, you’ll think about how you felt absolutely nothing saying it.  Your heart doesn’t constrict with remorse at the mere words leaving your mouth, guilt doesn’t flood into your soul, pain doesn’t wrack through your bones.  You could’ve been saying anything at all and nobody would be able to tell the difference.

He blinks at you, flicking his eyes between yours for a second or two, but then you press the proper button and watch the gas quickly freeze him where he stands.  He’ll be conscious the entire time, but Karga will send him to the correct location and you have no doubt that this elemental purgatory is leagues better than where he just escaped from.  It’s a benefit being the last quarry to be retrieved—he’ll only have to spend a few days trapped in here before being reunited with his family.

When that’s done and Oshua is a complete statue in front of you, bulky white armor now colored a dull metallic gray and frozen in time, you will yourself to finally turn around to face the enormous mountain of a presence behind you.  The baby gently reaches out for him, but Din doesn’t move from where he’s stood.  Your blaster is still clutched tightly in his hand, and he isn’t looking at you.

Slowly, you walk over and stop directly in front of him in the middle of the hull, blinking at him while the helmet subtly moves to lock onto your face.  The kid begins wiggling in your arms, making soft impatient noises while you both stand in complete silence across from each other.

After a few moments, you hear him flick your blaster’s safety on by his side and then toss it carelessly to the ground.  It skids along the floor, light enough to be mostly quiet.  Gloves reach out as he carefully takes the kid from you and settles him in the crook of one arm, and then he looks you up and down, still not saying anything.

Your eyes follow his movement, watching his arm slowly reaching out to you, and you think he’s going to cup your jaw, or brush your hair back.  Give you some sort of physical reassurance since he hasn’t spoken a single word of it.

Instead, Din suddenly grabs the armor clinging to your chest and starts ripping it off you with one hand.  It clangs to the floor so loudly in the silence of hyperspace, the kid’s ears twitch and flutter with each shattering bang.  You hold still while he does it, you barely respond except the unavoidable movement your body experiences as the pauldron is yanked from your shoulder and thrown against the ground.  The ammo belt is tugged over your head and hurled away, the thigh braces are snatched from your legs and they clang to the floor, and the pearly, opalescent fabric revealed underneath is stained in dead man’s blood, rusty and in such great quantities that it shows up as brown instead of red.

“Are you hurt?”

He sounds… dead.  So monotonic that you can’t possibly gauge his emotional state.  He doesn’t move.   His fists don’t clench, he says every single word like it means the same exact thing as the last.  If nothing at all was a person who could speak, they’d use his tone of voice.

“No,” you eventually whisper.

The helmet nods once, and then he spins around and walks away without anything else.  Without saying anything, without touching you, or double checking you for injuries in case you were lying.  You stand utterly still while Din climbs the ladder with the kid cradled in one arm, and you don’t even flinch when the door to the cockpit slides shut behind him.  You have no idea how long you stand there in the splitting silence afterwards, numb and unmoving.

You feel… nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

The hard defenses you strapped to yourself today to reconcile the things you had to do are still high and strong, guarding your soul even if he stripped away your physical armor.  Self preservation is still animating your body, and your facial expression barely changes.  Your first thought, as soon as you remember that you can have one, is that there are things that still need to be done.  Tasks to complete.

Alone, you shower the lingering traces of blood off your body, the normally clear and refreshing water running a sickly, toxic brown.  Alone, your stomach rolls and suddenly decides to empty itself of the very little that was in it as the scalding drops rain down over you—mostly liquid and bile that easily rinses down the drain.  The water is too warm, it beats down on you like blazing hot sand pelting your skin in the desert.  You feel like you did those first few months with Din, where the silence was suffocating, where you’d only interact with the baby if he was on a hunt or if you could tell he didn’t know how to calm him when he was fussy.  If you were in hyperspace, you usually spent time by yourself in the hull while he lived in the cockpit, and if he decided he needed to be in the hull for whatever reason, then you’d trade places with him.  It was… isolating.  Lonely by yourself.  The quiet used to haunt you before it became your cherished friend, but now it’s a betrayer, a ghost that whispers memories and nightmares in your ears.

When you finally finish rinsing the blood from your skin and get dressed, you see the sheets that used to make up your bed now have fried holes in them from your charred plasma marks, the inside of the hull is covered in them and the trails of dried blood where you dragged the bodies down the ramp.  Your armor is still strewn about the hull, the kid’s hovering shield lays dead in the corner.  Everything you meticulously cleaned and organized and collected and created, now the scene of a bloodbath.  One committed by your hand, your blaster still laying uselessly on the floor forever linked to this atrocity.

You spare a glance towards the ladder, but you don’t want to come face to face with Din yet.  You already knew he’d be furious, but… you had hoped that he’d at least…

What?  At least what?  Comfort you?  Coddle you after you deliberately ignored his instructions?  What exactly, in the past year or so of learning Din’s inner workings and intricacies, would ever give you the impression that he’d come give you a big hug after you purposefully defied him?  You flew the kid directly into an imperial base after being told to protect him, you ignored every order he gave to you in the moments he thought would be his last, and though you did it to save his life, you have a feeling that Din has never valued his life even a fraction of what you do.

The misery stabs at your soul, but your mind is finally beginning to process things logically.  He’s alive, the kid is alive, the quarry is secure, and you’re all onboard the safety of this ship hurtling through hyperspace where nobody, not even the Empire, can touch you.  You weighed the consequences before making your decision, you did what you had to do.  If he wants to be mad, then he can fucking well be mad and you’ll find some way to comfort yourself.  At least he’s here being mad, at least he’s alive and safe and breathing and mad, and your rare act of disobedience is to thank for that.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you realize it’s probably easier than it should be to reconcile the punishment.  Right now, you welcome the exclusion, the negativity and sorrow beating itself into your soul.  Four innocent people died today on this ship, gunned down under your blaster while they panicked and ran for cover.  You keep hearing their screams.

So you start to clean up the hull, needing another task to focus your thoughts on.  You work to erase every inch of the evidence of your deeds, make it disappear like the pool of blood Din once cleaned up while you were sleeping and never acknowledged again.  You only allow the bloodstains to fuck with your head for a single moment, and then you swallow back the nausea until you’re a blank slate again and sink to your knees with a rag in your hand.  After that, your vision stops focusing and it just becomes red contrasting against gunmetal gray, and you work tirelessly to get rid of all remaining traces of it.

Then you start on the blaster marks, you need them gone.  After a few informed attempts at mixing cleaning chemicals, you find one concoction that allows you to wipe them away like they’re nothing more than dirt that got tracked in.  The Crest’s oxygen recycling system works overdrive to constantly purify the air so you don’t get high or pass out, but your nose still stings.  It’s fine, it’s sterile, it burns a bit but it smells sharp and metallic and keeps you hyper focused on the task at hand.

After that’s done, you pick up the charred blankets and ball them up to throw into the trash vent.  You don’t feel anything as you do it.  You don’t think about how long it took you to collect these over months and months of being stuck on this ship, how comfortable they were when everything else was industrial and rigid, how many nights you spent with Din curled up in their softness while he breathed easy and warm.  Sheets are just luxuries, they can afford to be lost.

Next, you gather your armor and wipe it down with the rag, put it away along with your blaster.  The stained robe goes in the trash, along with the sheets and the blood soaked cloth you used to clean everything.  They’re all ruined, you’ll never be able to make them right again.

The hull is sparkling clean when you decide to take another shower.  Nothing on you is dirty except your hands, but you feel filthy.  Wrong, cold, numb, cold, stained, cold.

After scrubbing your skin raw under the water and changing clothes again, since you don’t really know what to do with yourself anymore, you slowly climb the ladder to the cockpit, keeping perfectly silent.  When you reach the upper platform and come face to face with the closed door, you can just barely hear Din’s whispered voice speaking quietly to the baby beyond it.

You raise your hand for a moment, hovering your knuckles over the metal, but then it eventually falls.  Instead, you look over and spot the corner, the same corner Din bunched himself into when he snapped at you for even suggesting going on a hunt with him, blew up at you for the mere notion of something happening like what happened today.  You back yourself into it in defeat and slowly sink down on the floor, resting your head against the metal and hugging your knees to your chest since you don’t have a tiny baby to take their place.

You can’t sleep.  You don’t even try, it’s pointless.  The concept feels foreign the longer you sit here by yourself.  You don’t hear Din or the baby anymore, but you feel… so fucking awful that it’s fitting that you don’t knock or go looking.  You don’t want to hold that sweet child with hands that were covered in blood just a few hours ago.  You killed more people than you can count on your fingers today, and of the ones who had done nothing wrong…  They screamed like younglings, ducked for cover and were able to fire off one single useless shot in the mayhem before you closed their eyes forever and left their bodies to rot in armor that wasn’t ever their choice to wear.

You didn’t know they were kidnapped and smuggled and forced into that situation.  You couldn’t have known, but that isn’t the point.  In this case, knowing doesn’t make one bit of difference.

You also can’t face Din yet, not like this.  You don’t want him to see you cowering, shattered with guilt over the decisions you made under pressure.  How will you ever get him to forgive you for not listening to him when you can’t even forgive yourself for the result of your choices?  Din is a hardened man who grew up in blasterfire and bloodshed, just because you love him doesn’t mean he’s going to magically become someone he isn’t.  You’re here letting guilt sink sharp claws into your chest over four dead men when he had a good fifty or more corpses scattered on the battlefield around him.  You decided to wear that armor, you decided to fly into an imperial base with the kid on your lap, and this is now your penance.  You’ll accept it with your back straight and your chin held high.

Figuratively, of course.  Physically, you’re smaller than you’ve ever been.  Crumpled up into a ball, taking up as little space as possible, curling up as tight as you can like an animal protecting all your vulnerable parts during a brutal attack.

So, since he isn’t here to comfort you himself, you just try to think about what he would tell you.  A long time ago, what would he tell you?

Din would tell you… that you killed someone.  Multiple people, this time.  He’d also tell you that it doesn’t matter what he tells you, what you could have reasonably foreseen or what you should have done.  The end result won’t change.  You own this now.  You’ll carry their deaths with you.

You take a few deep breaths, self-soothing with the undeniable truth that would be murmured matter of factly from his quiet voice.  He wouldn’t argue with you.  He wouldn’t deny the decisions you made or the consequences of them.  It happened, and at the end of the day, you either learn how to handle that, or you don’t.

And, for the four you did shoot, you were responsible for freeing ten times that amount.  You’re responsible for reuniting Oshua Ryler with his family, even if your place in yours is momentarily shunned.  You’d rather be out here alone than in there with the kid, wondering where his dad is or if he’s even still alive.  You rescued Din and now he gets to be here to shut this door on you, hold his son, and whisper calm reassurances to him.  If you listen really hard and imagine, you can pretend they’re for you, too.

That’s it.  Focus on them both, alive and well together.  Focus on the bodies wearing white armor that were moving, the ones that were bolting away from the imperial training base as fast as they could, free from the torture of imprisonment and conditioning.

Finally, you close your eyes and slip into unconsciousness.  It’s not a testament to your exhaustion, but rather just how long you’ve been left to sit here by yourself.  Hours, maybe.  Time is strange in hyperspace.

You dream of a faceless man ringing bells.

---

When you wake up, a small baby has been placed in your arms, and you’re being dragged into a strong, secure beskar hold on the floor.

“Din,” you suddenly lift your head as soon as you’re conscious and nearly bonk it into solid metal, apologies rising in your throat before you even remember where you are.  You did what needed to be done to keep your family alive and together and you’d do it a thousand times again if necessary, but that doesn’t mean you won’t apologize anyways.  After the deeds you’ve committed today, regret feels as natural on your lips as speaking your own name.  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I know you’re mad at me but I—”

“Shh,” he whispers, running his gloves through your hair.  He’s still wearing his helmet, he hasn’t taken anything off yet.  “Don’t say anything.  Just… stay here, stay right here with me.”

“I tried to save you,” you croak, tears instantly flooding your eyes.  You did save him.  You saved him and the baby and yourself but you’re so physically and emotionally exhausted that all you can recall is your intent.  “I tried.  Wasn’t gonna leave you there by yourself.  I tried to be brave, like you—y-you wouldn’t have left without me.”

His arms tighten around you, cradling you in such a strong embrace that you burrow into him, you find a place for your head on the hard metal strapped to him and bury yourself there, wishing that you had shovels of dirt being piled on you to justify the death you still feel staining your soul.  Your heart is starting to pound now that you’re remembering, your body is starting to shake with tremors of shock now that you’re aware of your own skin again.

“I was so sc-scared, Din, I didn’t—didn’t know what was happening,” you lament through watery eyes, gasping it out in hopes that it’ll relieve the slightest bit of the gut wrenching guilt just mercilessly crushing you.  It caught you before you could protect yourself against it, that armor you built around yourself isn’t on when you first wake up.  “I-I didn’t want to kill them, but they were already on the ship and y-you said—you said they were coming after the kid s-so I had to, I had to—”

“Stop,” Din whispers, voice so quiet that you can barely hear him.

“I-I cleaned up the blood,” you turn your face against the cold beskar to let all the positives you listed for yourself before scrape across your throat.  They don’t sound comforting anymore, they just sound like excuses.  “It’s gone, it’s like it never happened, everything is okay now, I got the quarry, I protected the baby, I saved a bunch of people, you’re both safe—”

“Stop,” he chokes out.  The modulator cuts off before you can hear his next breath, but you feel it shudder under your body.  “St-Stop it, please.”

Your eyes clench shut so tightly you feel like the streaking stars outside are behind them, tears drop down against his pauldron and you press your face tighter to it like it’s a wound, like the pressure will somehow ease the bleeding.

“Listen to me,” he says very quietly, and you instantly brace yourself.  The walls you just let down shoot right back up, your body physically tightens in preparation for another pain, another trauma, another scar you’ll carry, and you stop shaking.  You stop breathing, even when his hand comes up to ease your face away from his armor.

“You,” he whispers, holding your chin so you’re staring right at him, and your eyes flick fearfully in between his behind the visor, “are a sweet girl.”  Din’s leather thumb brushes along your skin, dragging over the tears below your puffy eyes.  “Not,” his voice catches, “a Mandalorian.”

Your heart goes cold.  Again, everything turns numb.  It doesn’t matter that you already said this yourself out loud earlier today.  It doesn’t matter that you acknowledged this fact, verbally insisted it more than once to hammer home the truth and felt some sense of comfort in it.  For some reason, hearing the words from his mouth is a fucking knife to your chest.

“I taught you how to fight, how to shoot a blaster,” he murmurs, thumb catching every single tear that continues to fall as he speaks.  “I taught you everything I know, everything that’s been taught to me.  I taught you how to defend yourself, how to protect yourself when you’re in danger.  I gave you your blaster, I gave you my armor, I gave you everything I could give you to keep you safe.  And when I thought you were ready, I let you loose on Sanctuary II.  Do you know why I did that?”  The helmet tips forward the slightest bit at the question, probing deep into the most shattered part of your heart.  “After all those months of fighting, and shooting, and training, do you know why I told you to run?”

You blink silently at him, a shaky breath quaking through you, and your expression wants to crumple under the reprimand.  You’re so fragile right now, taking hit after hit after hit to the softest parts inside you, and you want to just give up.  Let the guilt and remorse take you, let it wash you away.  But then, instead…

There’s a flicker of something inside you.  Something strong, endlessly strong, and it makes you want to revolt against what he’s saying.  It replaces the hurt and fear and desperation for comfort with a strange sense of insurgence, like it did earlier when you were hiding behind a boulder, cowering and trembling and not wanting to die.  You’re filled with a quiet urge to defend yourself in the face of this, stand up for yourself and refuse to be beaten down any longer.

“Because you needed to know how to escape danger,” he answers himself when you don’t.  “You needed to know how to disappear, how to outsmart any pursuer and find safety, even the trained ones.  Especially the trained ones.  Anything else was meant to be your last resort.  Not your choice.  Not something you chose.”

“I couldn’t leave you,” you admit to him quietly, voice shaky and tears still coming even as you try to speak up for yourself.  The regret you carry has nothing to do with this, and you decide right now that you won’t feel bad for saving him.  Your hurt comes from the meaningless things, the ones without any need whatsoever, not the necessary ones, and you tried.  You repeated his words to yourself over and over again, told yourself to run, told yourself to get to Nevarro, and it wasn’t going to happen.  “I couldn’t do it.  It wasn’t a choice.”

“It was,” he tells you.  He says it softly, whispers it like it’s the gentlest thing in the world, but the power and inherent distance of the armor strapped to his body finds its way into the words.  “And it was the wrong one.”

“What was I supposed to do?”  You ask, just a hint of that rebellion swimming to the surface now, rising out of the waves of self doubt, the one that feels like a spine growing in your back, an energy coursing through your veins that makes your heart start to beat faster.  Din’s hand slowly drops from your cheek but you don’t care.  “Was I supposed to run away and just let you die?”

“Yes.”  It’s quick and blunt and completely emotionless.  Delivered like a punch to the vulnerable parts of yourself he taught you how to protect, and the utter silence following this single word is comparable to the physical pain you learned to defend against.  It jabs hard against everything good and sweet and tender inside of you, and you’re left speechless even as he continues impassively.  “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do.”

It takes a second, but then that unfamiliar feeling suddenly surges up, breaches with the power of an entire ocean.  Your voices may be nothing more than whispers in the dark, you may be clinging to each other, holding each other with the softest, gentlest love in your hearts, but the strength of your conviction on this would rip metal apart.

“No.”  The word holds the might of your entire being, and it stands alone and defiant in the face of everything you fear, everything that threatens you, him, and this child.  Never.  You’ll die before that happens.  “I love you, and there’s nothing in this galaxy that would ever make me do that.  Not fear, not danger, not the Empire, nothing.  Not even you.”

Din stares at you.  His visor reflects your hardened expression back to you, the force in your soul and the purpose in your eyes, and you don’t even realize the gravity of what you just said because like your love for him, gravity is a constant.  It’s a fundamental truth cemented into the rules that govern your actions and it stays true no matter where you are, no matter what terror you face, or how scared you become.  You have him, you have this little boy in your arms, and if that’s all you have, then you have everything.

After an eternity of this, of feeling his eyes pierce deep into you from behind the helmet while you refuse to wither under his stare, you watch him slowly turn and look down, landing on the sleepy child tucked between you both.  He holds there for a long time, before finally whispering, so quiet that the modulator barely picks it up, “It was the wrong choice.”

You stay quiet.  It happened.  What’s done is done, you can’t change the past.  He can scold and reprimand you about this as much as he wants, but you did the right thing and that decision is the only reason he’s even here to be able to do so.  This exhausted child was reunited with his father because of your choices, and this exhausted father was reunited with his child.  You won’t argue anymore, but it’s a certitude that lives deep in your heart now, builds a home there right alongside the both of them.  Din eventually looks up, his eyes find yours again behind the visor, and his hand rises once more to gently cup your jaw.

“I… thought I’d enjoy seeing you in my armor,” Din finally whispers.  It’s not what you expected, but his voice sounds… weak.  Broken.  “You wore mine once before, and it was…”  He brushes his thumb along your cheek, and then his head shakes slightly, pushing the thought away.  “It wasn’t real.  It didn’t fit.  It dwarfed you, it made you look out of place, it made everything soft and innocent about you stand out.  I liked it because it wasn’t real.”

“Was it… really that bad?”  You whisper back, partially to ease the tension just slightly but quickly breaking eye contact with him when you realize it doesn’t land correctly, it just sounds self conscious and sad.  You try to find that conviction again, that strength and assurance that propped you up so sturdily before, but…  Not a Mandalorian, he’d said.  Of course not.  Of course not.

“It wasn’t the armor.”  Din gently tugs up on your face so that you look at him again.  “It was you covered in blood.  It was you purposefully putting yourself in danger.  You killed multiple armed soldiers of the Empire, you dragged their bodies off the ship.  And then you flew into an imperial base, where you killed the officers, too.  You…”  He shakes his head slowly at you while speaking, and although you can’t see his face, you don’t need to in order to hear the horror in his voice.   “You… collected a quarry… in the middle of a massacre, sweet girl.”

Not a Mandalorian.

“You don’t chase down bounties,” he tells you.  “You don’t fly into war zones.  You don’t kill imperials, you don’t collect quarries, you don’t sacrifice yourself, or our son, to save me.  You said you tried to be brave… like me.”  His fingers tighten against your cheek, he dips his helmet to make sure you understand.  “I’ll never ask you to be brave.  I’ll ask you to survive.”

“I’m… sorry,” you finally whisper, and his arm drops from your cheek to join the other in wrapping around you and holding tight.  They hug you and squeeze, encasing you and the baby in a beskar shield and staying there for a long time.  Long enough for you to tuck your head back into its proper place under his helmet, long enough to start to feel okay with the silence again.  It brutalized you the last time you were surrounded by it, it made you feel alone and desolate and barren inside.  You greet it warily now, settling into it for an unknown amount of time until it’s forgiven once more.

After a while, Din quietly breaks it.

“How many?”  He murmurs to you.  You already know exactly what he’s asking, there's no more clarification necessary on his behalf.

You slowly close your eyes and think back to the smoldering craters, the blood soaked ramp, the fear in Oshua Ryler’s eyes as he begged you not to kill him.

“That didn’t deserve it?”  You ask, clenching your eyes tighter at the memory.  “Four.”

And maybe, maybe six or eight months ago, you would’ve begged for some guidance on how to reconcile that.  Hell, maybe a few hours ago, you could’ve used his arms around you exactly like this, his low voice repeating the same things he’s already told you before, over and over again, if only for some semblance of stability when everything feels turbulent and uncertain.  You’ll never be able to change it, though.  This belongs to you now.

This time, all Din says is, “I’m sorry, too.”

And that covers everything.

The silence envelops you both again, but… there’s something else.  Something that still sits deep in your worries, an image that isn’t a scar of what’s happened but a dread of what’s to come.  You need to tell him.  You don’t feel like saying it, you don’t want to speak it aloud for fear of bringing it into existence, but you need to tell him.

“Din?”  You breathe out, and he makes a soft noise in his throat while cuddling you on the floor.  “I saw…,” you whisper, every word sitting tight and reluctant in your throat.  “Right when we made the jump, I was looking through the window and I-I saw…”

“A star destroyer.”  He says it like… like it’s the worst thing in the world and also completely expected at the same time.  He says it like he already knew, yet can’t even imagine.  You lean every bit of your weight against him since you can’t hold him in return, squish him as best you can against the small corner and curl up even tighter in his arms for comfort.

He takes a deep breath, a shuddery sound you don’t think you’ve ever heard him make before.  It holds untold anxiety, unsaid conflict, uncertain action, an unknown path forward.

“I don’t know what to do,” Din eventually whispers to himself, to you, to the baby in your arms.  His voice is barely a breath through the modulator, his fingers digging into your skin with how many emotions he’s repressing.  “What do I do?”

He sounds so distressed that you automatically feel your soul find the floor—instantly, you become steady and calm and you locate all that rationality that kept you going today.  All your worries still twist deep down, all the guilt and the turmoil wrestles with your soft, easy nature until you can only find bits and pieces of it in the most vulnerable places inside you, but if he’s struggling this terribly, then the least you can do is offer some good, true, unwavering faith in times of uncertainty.  You’re in hyperspace, everything worked out, and it’s going to stay that way for right now.  If he doesn’t know how to talk about it yet, then you trust him enough to wait for him.

“It’ll be okay,” you tell him with a newfound confidence and purpose, carefully easing the baby into one arm so that the other can find its way to the other side of his helmet and pull him closer.  Din tucks his head and allows you to brush your lips against the metal, whisper the words soft and steady to him.  “We’ll figure it out together.”

---

@cptnbvcks thank you so much for the incredible art!

[teshamerkel]

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Seekers of Soul

[Chapter 52]

<< First | < Previous | Next >

AO3 Link

-

Nia and Tobias have their mission. It's time to plan their next move, and get some training in while they're at the Lexym Guild.

-

Telling Maggie about their trip to Asra and Shivergleam is a tense affair. The meganium stays quiet for most of it, but Nia can see her honey-gold eyes darken after each brush with danger that they skim over, clumsily trying to fill in the gaps left in their story.

Finally, what feels like hours later, they're finished. Quiet falls over the three of them.

With a forced sort of calm, Maggie asks, “Is that everything?”

“It’s all we know so far,” Tobias hedges. “Our plan right now is just to find Xerneas. Hopefully she can prevent any of this from happening. Or at least fix the dimensional border if it does break.”

If she doesn't, the world falls apart, Nia silently adds, knowing she doesn’t need to say it for it to be in the forefront of all their minds. Both the Pokemon world and the human world would be destroyed.

Nia fiddles with the soft fur of her tail, too nervous to look up at Maggie. The silence while the grass type digests everything is heavy.

Finally, Maggie sighs. Nia jumps.

“I’m going to need a hug after all of that,” Maggie says.

Nia finally looks up, relieved, and willingly scoots closer for the meganium to pull her into a hug with her vine. Nia leans against her petals, soft but firm, and breathes in her fresh floral scent. She sees Tobias getting the same treatment on Maggie’s other side.

Immediately, Nia feels a little better. Everything feels less dire when she's tucked against Maggie like this. It's still quiet, but a comforting sort of quiet. It’s only the three of them in the herbalist quarters at the moment, Sage having been politely shooed out of the room to grab some berries for breakfast once Maggie realized that neither Nia nor Tobias felt comfortable explaining their trip with the ivysaur present. Sage had taken the obvious excuse with grace, thankfully, and is taking his time in returning.

“Thank you for telling me.” Maggie says. She takes a deep breath, Nia lifting with the exhale. “I just wish you two weren’t thrown right in the middle of all this mess. You’re so young.”

“We’re not little kids,” Tobias mutters.

“Oh, don’t pout.”

“I'm not pouting!” Tobias says, absolutely pouting.

Nia turns her face into Maggie’s petals to stifle a laugh.

“When were you planning on talking to August about all of this?” Maggie asks.

Nia pulls away to look at Tobias. He seems as unsure as she feels.

“Should we tell him?” Tobias asks, crossing his arms. “We’re getting intel from a banished legendary, if he even believes we're telling the truth. And we don’t know that he’ll actually do anything even if he does believe us. He said he’d look into the fire that happened in Ghatha but nothing ever came from that.”

Nia has to admit that he has a point.

Maggie sighs. “Even if it’s not obvious, I’m sure August is doing all he can to help. And if this is something jeopardizing not only our guild but the entire Pokemon world, I promise you he would want to know about it.”

Nia and Tobias exchange a doubtful look.

Maybe sensing that they’re reluctant to talk to August and worried that they’ll try to put it off completely, Maggie only allows a quick breakfast of the berries Sage brings back before marching the two of them straight to August’s office herself. The rillaboom looks pleased to see them, a soft sort of relief on his face when he catches sight of Nia and Tobias safely back from their travels. His warm smile fades as he locks eyes with Maggie, though, his more casual posture straightening up. He waves them in without a word.

Verene seems to be out, so they’re the only ones present in the spacious office. The leaves weaving in and out of the wooden walls are a lovely gradient of warm autumnal tones.

August takes a seat behind his desk, chair creaking. “Welcome back, Team Scarlet. It’s good to see you both safe. I heard from the crew of the Aqua Jet and that little sableye that you both showed impressive prowess as Seekers yesterday.”

Nia murmurs a thank you. Tobias nods.

“However, gauging by your expressions, I must assume that’s not why you came to see me today,” August says. “A shame. I could do with some good news, for once. What can I help you with?”

Nia looks to Tobias, so he starts them off. Retells the story once more with Nia stepping in on occasion, trading the explanation back and forth.

They mention Asra, first, to explain everything that comes after. Giratina. The protective shell of this world weakening from a preemptive crack in the very fabric of the dimension. Nia and Tobias being assigned to find Xerneas in a desperate bid for hope.

August’s brow knits and falls lower and lower as he listens, chin resting on bridged fingers. By time they’re finally finished, Nia’s throat is dry. The same oppressive silence from before falls over the room, and it feels thick enough to choke on.

August’s amber eyes settle on Nia. “How sure are you that Giratina was telling the truth?”

Nia tries not to let her own doubt show on her face. “W-Well…I guess I don’t have any proof that he was? But he felt…honest. And it makes sense. Or at least more sense than anything else people have guessed for why the world is breaking down, right? Could anything else cause natural disasters and make evolution stop? Or force legendaries to go dormant?”

“You think Giratina would have something to gain from us seeking out Xerneas?” Tobias asks, eyes narrowing.

August sighs, raking his fingers back through his leafy mane. “That’s difficult to say. I’m no expert on either legendary.”

“But surely there’s enough here to merit a deeper look,” Maggie pipes up. “If Giratina is being honest, then…”

August lets a rush of air out through his nose. “It would be disastrous for us to ignore him, yes.”

The quiet returns like an itchy, ill-fitting sweater.

“I’ll ask Alistair and Tawny to look into it immediately,” August finally says. “If they feel that searching for Xerneas is likely to be of help and not just playing into Giratina’s schemes, then I’ll reach out to the other Guildmasters so we can plan from there.”

Nia lets out a breath. Knowing that they aren’t solely responsible for saving the whole world feels like the weight of the Lexym Tree itself being lifted off her shoulders. She kind of wants to cry. “Thank you.”

August nods. “Of course. I’m here for anyone in the guild, but a matter pertaining to the safety of the entire world? That is not to be treated lightly.”

“Speaking of safety,” Tobias says, in a tone that would be casual if it didn’t sound like it was barbed with thorns. “You said you were going to send someone to look into the fire at Ghatha, right? And other human discrimination. Anything ever come of that?”

August gives Tobias a dry look. “Put away your fangs, Tobias. I did indeed look into the matter.”

“And?”

“The investigation into the Ghatha fire has unfortunately gone cold. While they can assume it was a fire type at the convention who started it, Rai’s guild hasn’t been able to determine who was the culprit. They’ve marked it closed for now unless new information arises.”

"Yeah, and I'm sure that decision has nothing to do with the guy not liking humans," Tobias mutters.

August's eyes narrow. "Where did you hear that?"

Nia blinks, surprised, and exchanges a look with Tobias. August doesn't know? "Keegan mentioned it, back when we were in Ghatha."

"The guild's second-in-command," Tobias clarifies. "A ninetales."

"Hm." August looks past them for a moment, locking eyes with Maggie. Before Nia can figure out what the two older Pokemon are thinking, he speaks again. "That's not something I was aware of. What are your thoughts on Keegan? I haven't had the chance to speak with him myself."

"He was nice!" Nia says.

"A little too nice," Tobias scoffs.

August hums. "...Noted. Regardless, for now the investigation remains at a stand-still."

Tobias’ muzzle crinkles, mirroring Nia’s own displeasure. While this news isn’t entirely unexpected, it is unnerving, not knowing the Pokemon who made a very intentional effort on all of the human lives at the convention in Ghatha. What if they try something else in the future? The thought makes Nia feel…uneasy. Unsafe.

“My scouts did also confirm your claims regarding the general perception of humans in Ghatha. It seems the aggression towards them is increasing. Considering you saw the same in Asra, I can only assume the trend continues elsewhere as well.”

“But why?" Nia protests, voice cracking. "We aren't doing anything wrong!"

“I know,” August says, rubbing at his face. “We know you have nothing to do with what’s happening to our world, Nia. None of the humans do. But unfortunately, the natural disasters and mystery dungeons are only becoming more and more common. Pokemon are injured and frightened, and humans are a handy group to shoulder the blame.”

“It’s escalating, isn’t it?” Maggie cuts in, voice soft. “Not just the aggression. The natural disasters. The spread of mystery dungeons. The Haven hasn’t been hit too hard yet, but…”

August hesitates with a glance at Nia and Tobias. “Yes. Which would line up with what Giratina is claiming. The closer we get to the moment when the barrier of our dimension breaks, the more and more dangerous our world gets. And the more that tensions run high, the more rumors spread about whose fault it could be.”

Another silence. Nia can hear the walls of the Lexym Tree creak around them in the wind.

“What about Will?” Tobias asks. Nia looks at him, surprised that he’s even willing to bring up the yamask he dislikes so much.

“Ah, yes. You mentioned wanting to visit him to see if he has any leads in finding Xerneas. My scouts didn’t hear much about his group while in Ghatha, but they also couldn’t find many humans at all, seeing as they’re keeping a low profile.”

“I sent him a letter before we left for Asra,” Nia speaks up. “Telling him about Giratina trying to pull me into the distortion realm through the stream. A-And about me recovering some of my memories. If he’s written back by now, he probably left a way to find him, right?”

“Should we even bother seeing if he has information, though?” Tobias asks, face twisting. “If we know that we’re looking for Xerneas, what are the chances he knows something Alistair and Tawny and the other guilds don’t?”

“Can we risk not checking?” Nia murmurs.

Tobias doesn’t have an argument for that. “I guess just flying straight to see him ourselves would be faster than waiting for mail.”

August's hand strokes at his chin. “I believe Nia is right. We can’t risk missing a potential lead from a network of information outside of our own. If you are willing to track him down, then I approve your travel to seek him out in a few days’ time. I will have the guild cover your flight costs across the sea.”

“Why’re we waiting?” Tobias asks, frowning. “Shouldn’t we leave right away?”

August shakes his head. “I want to first discuss with Alistair and Tawny. If they believe seeking out Xerneas could be as beneficial as Giratina suspects, I’ll have them spread word to the other guilds to start an official search. If they believe we could be playing into a plot, then we’ll put a hold on seeking out any information.”

Nia and Tobias trade an uncertain look, but eventually agree.

The three of them depart the office shortly after, August giving them a distracted goodbye as he turns to some papers on his desk.

“So we have a few days until we can leave,” Tobias says, jumping right into it. “What’s our plan until then?”

“We should probably go to our quarters first, right?” Nia says. “To see if Will even wrote back?”

Tobias frowns, but nods.

They reach the medical floor, and Maggie stops, reminding Nia and Tobias that the meganium has a job to do elsewhere.

“Oh, don’t give me those yamper eyes,” Maggie laughs. She nuzzles the top of Nia’s head, then Tobias’. “I have a job to do as well! And I’ll still be right here if you want to stop in again later tonight.”

Tobias visibly relaxes at the reminder, and Nia thanks the meganium for her help. For listening.

“Of course! Someone has to look after you two, always running off into trouble,” Maggie says with a wink.

Nia turns to head down the stairs, but pauses when Tobias doesn’t follow. The charmander is hesitating, staring at Maggie with a conflicted expression. Then he darts forward to squeeze Maggie’s leg in a hug. The meganium seems as surprised as Nia is by the unusually open affection, but after a beat her expression softens. She lowers her head to return the hug with her long neck and a vine, squeezing him tight.

Ah, right. Tobias had told Maggie about finding the home of the crobat outlaw, too. About finding the crobat's grave, and the loving family he’d left behind. Maggie had smothered him in a hug then, too, but it makes sense that he’s still feeling a bit emotional about it all.

Tobias only tolerates the affection for a few seconds before ducking free and slipping past Nia, calling for her to hurry up over his shoulder. Nia smiles as she waves to Maggie and hurries after her partner.

The two of them head to the Seekers’ quarters a few floors down. Most of the doors are closed since Pokemon are out and about doing missions in the middle of the day, but there are a few lattice windows in the halls that let in glimpses of bright sunshine and whistling gusts of air.

Their own room is just as they left it, save a thin layer of dust over everything. The wall is lined by a few wooden cabinets, along with a bookcase and chest to keep their belongings in. A large window sits on the far wall, its lattice-like roots currently opened wide. A leaf-woven curtain is pulled down over it to keep out the wind, and the sun shines through it beautifully, casting a dim golden-green hue over everything. In the center of the room lies their plush scarlet red rug, and away from the window sits their nests, resting side-by-side.

Tobias dumps their satchel next to the chest. Nia goes to the mailbox set into the wall by the door. She’s excited to find three pieces of mail inside—two letters and one thin slip of paper. She pulls them out and looks at the smallest one first. It reads 20% Off at the Kecleon Brothers Shop! with a cute little drawing of a pair of…chameleons?

“They have coupons in this world?” Nia asks, strangely amused by the thought.

Tobias’ warmth appears at her side as he peers over her shoulder. He snorts. “The kecleon merchants are really well-known. Good quality wares, but make sure you stay on their good side.”

“Um, okay. Why?”

Tobias flops down in his nest. “The last ‘mon that tried to steal from ‘em left with less limbs than they started with.”

“But they’re so cute!” Nia says, aghast, as she looks again at the little drawing.

“So are fairy types, and they’re terrifying."

Nia sinks into her own nest, gently setting the coupon aside. She’s not sure she wants to deal with the shop at all if that’s the reputation they keep. She lights up when she sees the second letter, though—it’s a cute little thing, blue, with Nia’s name written in delicate, loopy cursive.

Tobias rolls over to squint at the envelope. “Who wrote us a letter in gibberish?”

Nia blinks. “You can’t read this?”

“You can?”

Nia takes another look at the letter. At first she thinks the problem is that the writing is cursive, but then she realizes that it’s probably because it's English. Not the native Pokemon language.

“Oh,” Nia laughs, feeling a strange pang of homesickness. “It’s in English. A, uh. Human language.”

She opens the envelope with care, pulling out the stationery and smiling at the letter, which is also written in looping cursive. Tobias doesn’t say anything else, but she can feel his eyes on her so she translates as she skims.

“It’s from Hazel. She says that she can make me a human bed! Oh man, you are going to love it. You’ll never be able to go back to a normal nest. And she’ll even give me the family discount! Aww!”

“She should give you more than that after we saved her mate’s tail,” Tobias says.

“We hadn’t even met Beck yet when I sent the request! Let’s see here…she also says—”

Nia bursts into laughter.

“What?”

“She also says that she’s glad you’re nicer to me now, but that she’s willing to knock some sense into you any time if that changes.”

Tobias straightens up, flushing. “She did not say that.” Nia cackles, turning the page over to his grabby hands. “She did! C’mon, she’s the reason I confronted you in Afon’s Cap at all!”

Tobias makes a face, but he’s still bright red. Nia isn’t sure if it’s because he’s embarrassed to be called out, or because of his behavior during their early partnership in the first place. Either way, he folds the letter back up and frisbees it at her, huffing.

Nia laughs again and tucks the letter off to the side with the coupon. She’ll have to write the old raichu back later. Nia’s amusement dies down as she picks up the third letter.

Tobias sits up as he sees her expression. “…Will?”

Nia nods. Hesitantly, she opens the yamask’s letter.

Nia,

While I’m pleased to hear from you, I wish it was under better circumstances! I’m relieved that you escaped from Giratina unharmed, but concerned that you had such a close call at all. If you do feel unsafe where you are, please don’t hesitate to come join the community of humans we have amassed thus far—we’re growing by the day! We're just south of Ghatha, past Stonebrook and closer to Kaleido Bay. If you can find Stonebrook, they can direct you from there.

“Stonebrook,” Nia murmurs, tilting her head. “Why does that sound familiar?”

Tobias, who had scooched closer to read, frowns as he tries to recall as well. Then he groans and plants his face in his hands.

“What?”

“It’s where your stupid rookidee friend lives,” Tobias says, words muffled.

Nia gasps. “Junie! Oh my gosh, you’re right! We could stop by and see her! She could—”

“We are not inviting her to join us.”

“Aw, why not? I miss her!”

“You miss her because she doesn’t pick fights with you constantly!”

Nia looks at him for a moment. “I thought you kind of enjoyed it. It's like how you squabble with Andyn."

Tobias stumbles over a retort—outright stammers—his face growing red again, and Nia bursts into laughter.

“Oh my God, I knew it! You do like bickering with them! Why do you act like you hate them so much?”

“I do hate them!”

“Mhm.”

“They’re annoying and loud and—”

“They’re your frieeends,” Nia coos, poking him in the cheek.

“They are not,” Tobias hisses, swatting her hand away. “Shut up!”

Nia can feel him heating up with embarrassment so she knows he’s lying, but she takes mercy and backs off, still grinning.

“This is exactly why you don’t need to be spending more time with either of them,” Tobias grumbles, rubbing at his cheek. “They’re rubbing off on you.”

Nia finally tames her delight down to a manageable level and goes back to Will’s letter.

I am thrilled, however, to hear about your returned memories, even if you had to endure a terrifying illness to find them. After speaking with more of the humans under my care who have recovered their own memories, I have to wonder if there is a correlation between severe injury or illness and the recovery of one's memories. Perhaps brushing by Death’s doorstep unlocks a part of the brain once buried?

Huh. Nia has to take a moment to think after reading that. The handful of memories she recovered did only return to her when she was gravely ill, but she didn’t think it was a direct correlation. But Will seems to be implying that nearly dying could be a trigger for that process. If Giratina is correct, maybe it has to do with them getting close to…leaving their new vessels? So the memories that Mew sealed away kind of…loosen?

Nia shakes her head, unnerved by the reminder that she nearly died, and reads on.

I would love to discuss with you further if you do feel like visiting. Know that you’re always welcome. We have exciting developments in the works! Until then, I hope you and your partner are well.

Will

Nia sits back. “Well, he’s open to a visit, and we have directions…”

“Guess it’s settled then,” Tobias sighs. “I’ll let August know tomorrow.”

“August said to give him a few days to run everything by Tawny and Alistair, right? So…what should we do in the meantime?”

Tobias makes a thoughtful sound in his throat, eyes trailing over the faint pattern of leaves forming the window curtain. “We don’t want to wear ourselves out completely before traveling, but we should definitely do some training or missions or something. We need to keep getting stronger, and we need to keep rising higher in the ranks so Pokemon take us seriously.”

“That would give us more funds, too,” Nia agrees. “So I guess for now we just work on recuperating and take a few missions?"

“Then when we’re cleared for travel we go to the flying outpost.” Tobias finishes, a smirk growing on his face. “You excited to get back in the air?”

Nia groans, falling back into her nest. The soft scent of straw and moss wafts up around her. “Not even a little.”

Tobias snorts a laugh. “You’ll survive.”

There’s a moment of quiet where Nia lies starfished in her nest, listening to the wind blow against their curtain. The midday sun has warmed their little room enough for it to feel nice and cozy.

“It’s too late in the day to start a mission,” Tobias says, snagging her attention again. “But I’m going to go see if Azami or Val are around to spar with.”

While he isn’t outright asking Nia to join, the way he pauses to look at her makes the implied question clear. Nia perks up. “Oh! I’ll come with! I’ve been wanting to chat with Val about how my aura’s shaping up anyways.”

Tobias grins, pushing himself to his feet and offering a hand to help her up. The two of them leave the cozy atmosphere of their room to wind their way down the Lexym Tree.

At the doorway leading into the training floor, Nia nearly bumps into a taller Pokemon. She hops back with an apology, craning her head up to meet their eyes. They look interesting—an olive green and tan Pokemon with a mushroom cap and a long, almost kangaroo-like tail. In their bright red claws, tucked close to their body, they hold something like a clipboard.

The mushroom Pokemon starts a polite apology, but cuts himself off as he catches sight of Tobias standing behind Nia. Nia’s own apology trails off as she looks between Tobias and the new ‘mon. Tobias is clearly uncomfortable, an echo of his old, closed-off demeanor resurfacing as he crosses his arms and scowls up at the taller grass type.

“Try to keep everything in one piece,” The new Pokemon finally says, tone clipped, as he slips around them and walks off.

Nia turns to Tobias with a concerned frown. “Who was that?”

“Archer,” He grumbles, good mood clearly soured. “He keeps track of inventory.”

“Oh. Um. Why was he..?”

“I used to be more…destructive, with some of the dummies. They’re flammable.”

“Oh.” Nia stares at him, trying to parse that information. With how often they travel nowadays and how much Tobias has softened up around her, Nia always forgets that there are Pokemon in the guild who aren’t fond of Tobias for one reason or another. This reason doesn’t seem like a very fair one, though. “Aren’t training dummies meant to be attacked?”

“Not when you’re using fire, apparently,” Tobias snaps, moving past her and into the training area with his shoulders tense.

Nia hurries after her partner, relieved when she sees that not only are their mentors present, but that Val is working with Xander’s team. The medicham is listening to something the luxio is explaining, the rest of his teammates gathered around to listen as well.

Azami is nearby, manning a different fighting area. The tsareena is watching a treecko as they attack a dummy, but she beams behind her tall collar when she catches sight of Nia and Tobias. “Spitfire! And little Riolu. Good to see you!”

Tobias ducks his chin into his scarf, but Nia thinks he’s secretly pleased to have such a warm reception after bumping into Archer. Val, Xander and the rest of Team Shellshock turn at the loud greeting as well.

Avery smiles with a delicate wave.

Felix grins, fluffy ears perking. “Nia!”

“Good to see you," Xander says. "When did you two get back?”

“Last night! Sorry, are we interrupting?” Nia says, approaching the group.

“We were actually just saying we need to branch out a bit with our sparring partners,” Xander says, giving Nia a friendly flick of his star-tipped tail. His gold eyes move to Tobias. “Either of you interested in joining us for combat training?"

“Yeah! I’ve been dying to see how you squirts do in a fight,” Kry says. The fraxure cracks her knuckles to punctuate her words, as if her looming presence isn't intimidating enough.

Tobias, however, flexes his claws and steps forward to meet her. “You’re on.”

"Ohoho! Bring it, little 'mon!"

“Oh, this oughta be good,” Felix says, turning to lead everyone to the sidelines.  “C’mon, we’d better clear the field for these two.”

“They’re going to battle right now?” Nia asks, giving Val a wide-eyed look even as she follows. They just got here! Shouldn’t they warm up or something?

The medicham shrugs. “Charmander stepped forward.”

Well, she can’t argue with that. Still, as Nia sits to watch, she can't help feeling nervous as Tobias crouches into a battle stance across from Kry. The fraxure lashes her tail and lowers her head with a sharp grin. Nia doesn’t think the brash Pokemon would actually hurt Tobias, but…

“Battle!” Val calls.

Both lizard Pokemon lunge, Tobias ducking under a slash and spinning to trip up Kry’s footing with his tail. The fraxure recovers with surprising grace and goes on the offensive again. Tobias is forced to backstep, shooting off small bursts of fire to try and gain some distance. Kry leaps right through one of Tobias’ flames as if it were nothing more than smoke.

“Whoa,” Nia murmurs.

“How was your trip?” Xander asks, leaning over to whisper.

“We had an, uh…eventful week,” Nia chuckles. “Solved a mysterious earthquake problem, fought some outlaws, got caught in a mystery dungeon on the river, so fun times all around.”

They also found the grave of a long-hunted outlaw and met with Giratina of all Pokemon, who told them the world was ending, but Nia feels reluctant to drop all of that onto Xander so suddenly.

Felix whistles. The wartortle’s gaze is on the fight, but his fluffy ears are angled her way. “Busy, busy! No wonder Tobias is holding his own pretty well. You two just don’t stop, huh?”

Nia smiles and straightens up, proudly watching her partner continue to dance around Kry. His fighting style is still more offensive than defensive, but he’s playing it smart, relying on his smaller size and speed to keep the fraxure from landing a spar-stopping blow.

“You willing to try a round next?” Xander asks, giving Nia a friendly nudge with his elbow that nearly knocks her over.

Nia laughs, a little nervous. “Sure? But, uh, I’m not as good at fighting as Tobias.”

“Somehow I doubt that’s true,” Avery speaks up from Xander's other side. The kirlia gives her a warm half-smile. “You tend to underestimate yourself.”

Nia flushes under her fur and looks back to the fight, wincing as Kry nearly lands a devastating punch on Tobias. Instead, her fist slams into the wooden floor with enough force to crack it. The fraxure seems to be getting frustrated, but Tobias is starting to slow too, panting hard. He hasn’t used his smokescreen yet, though Nia isn’t sure if that’s a matter of pride or if Kry’s vision would be sharp enough to see through it.

The fight continues for another minute, Tobias landing a few brushes of flames and claws on Kry’s tough hide, but the fraxure is the one who ends it. She clips the charmander with a left hook, and as he stumbles, she slams him hard in the gut with her heavy tail. Tobias staggers, and Kry takes the opportunity to pin him to the ground with her greater weight.

After a few moments of Tobias struggling to free himself—that tail whip must've knocked the breath out of him if he isn't using his fire—Val calls the match. Kry releases him, stepping back, and Tobias sits up slowly, wincing and rubbing at his stomach. Felix calls out a jovial “Good match!” while Val moves to Tobias’ side. At first, the charmander seems reluctant to listen to her, but after a few quiet words he looks at her fully, scowl lessening as he nods. She must be giving him advice.

Kry makes her way over and grins down at Nia, breathing somehow unlabored. “You next, scrap?”

Felix pouts. “You already got your turn, Kry.”

“And I asked first,” Xander says smoothly, standing and moving to where Kry stood before. He doesn’t sound bossy, but somehow even Nia can hear the quiet authority in his voice. While Nia and Tobias don’t really have a “leader” of their team, it’s clear that Xander holds the title for Team Shellshock.

“You up for it, Nia?” The luxio asks, confident expression softening.

Nia feels her heart flutter with anxiety, but Avery gives her an encouraging nod. She pads over to where Tobias is finally getting to his feet.

“Good fight,” Nia whispers to him as she passes.

“Kick his tail,” Tobias says in return, though it sounds less heated than the scathing comments he used to make towards Xander.

Nia nods and gets in position, lifting her hands and crouching just a bit, feet spread wide and stable. She still doesn’t particularly like fighting, even for fun, but she just tries to think of it more like…a friendly sporting match.

Xander spreads his paws wide as his tail flicks. Sparks come to life and crackle across his black fur, like stars in a night sky. Nia shifts, suddenly registering the fact that Xander is nearly twice her size. Usually the thought is comforting more than anything, but facing him as an opponent…

“Show ‘em what you did to that steelix!” Tobias shouts.

There’s a lull in the group's conversation that makes Nia’s ears flatten, embarrassed by the attention. However, the comment does lessen her nerves a bit. Hard to be intimidated by a luxio when she’s faced down a metal serpent the size of a semi-truck. And she did just learn work up in the last mystery dungeon, which should make her more powerful, but that might up her attack too much—she doesn't want to actually hurt Xander, after all.

Nia can hear Felix asking Tobias about the steelix comment, but Val starts off their spar with a loud, “Battle!”

In complete contrast to Tobias and Kry’s fight, Nia and Xander stay frozen in place, sizing each other up. The sparks crackling across the luxio’s fur make her wary to get in close like she usually does—he can probably cause paralysis, right? He is an electric type. But if she doesn’t get in close, then her only option is to—

Xander makes the first move, lighting up with a flash of electricity and sending a test bolt her way. Nia rolls out of the way on instinct, but she can feel the charge in the air prickling at her fur.

Xander’s eyes narrow. He darts forward to attack.

Nia yelps and creates a staff of aura, taking a swing to make him leap back. He does so, but shoots off another electric attack. Nia barely manages to scramble out of the way, rolling and leaping from bolt after bolt. She doesn’t realize Xander is herding her closer and closer to himself until he’s suddenly slamming into her side.

The electricity in his fur stings, and the blow sends her tumbling across the floor as her staff vanishes. Xander hesitates. Nia takes the opportunity as soon as she lands on her knees to charge up a messy ball of aura in her paws and launch it at the luxio. Xander’s eyes widen, clearly not expecting that, before he gets hit head-on in a flash of blue.

Nia winces. Yeah, she really doesn’t like fighting her friends.

“Oh, you learned aura sphere while you were gone?” Nia hears Avery say, excited.

Nia blinks, looking over at the kirlia. “I did?”

Tobias is also staring at Avery. “She did?”

Nia sees Avery’s eyes widen a split-second before Xander bowls into her again. As she rolls to a stop, she notices the tingly current racing through her body, making her limbs feel numb and locked into place. She struggles to sit up but can’t move. Xander takes his opportunity to pin her down, paws heavy on her arms.

He smiles. “My win.”

Nia accepts defeat with a sigh, letting her head drop back. “I got distracted.”

Xander laughs. For a moment his claws flex, and then Nia feels the electricity in her body…recede, as Xander’s own sparks increase. He steps back, and Nia can move again. She blinks as she sits up, rubbing the remaining tingles out of her arms. Did he…take back the paralysis? Like a lightning rod?

“Good fight, Nia!” Felix, ever the optimist, cheers.

“It really wasn’t,” Nia says. “At least not on my end.”

“That aura sphere caught me off-guard,” Xander encourages. “And I have a feeling you were holding back on me.”

“Not on purpose,” Nia assures, even as she keeps her mouth shut about how Xander hesitated too. He reminds her of her brother in the human world, Clay, so of course she doesn’t want to hurt him. She imagines he sees some of his younger siblings in her as well.

As they rejoin the rest of the group, Kry and Felix pass them to spar next. Val gestures Nia to sit at her side, between her and Avery.

“Sorry, I promise I’ve been keeping up with my training. I can fight better than that,” Nia says, shying away from her mentor’s inscrutable gaze.

“So we heard!” Avery says, ruby eyes shining. “You fought a steelix on your own?”

Nia shrugs, ears pinning to her head. “Tobias and Samir weakened him first.”

“It is still impressive, Riolu,” Val finally says. “Do not downplay your achievements. You fight hardest when there is a true threat. That is admirable in its own way.”

Nia relaxes, giving Val a thankful smile. “I just worry about hurting my friends when we spar.”

“Xander can take it,” Avery giggles. “But forget about that—what other aura techniques did you learn while you were gone?”

Nia perks up as she describes her improved control over her aura. She can form a pretty reliable staff of aura now, officially replacing her trusty branch as her main weapon, and apparently even throw something like an aura sphere at a short distance, at least according to Avery. Plus, there’s the way she used her aura to find Tobias in the mines under Asra—like a pulse. A radar.

At that revelation, Avery interrupts. “That could be a really useful skill to master.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely! Other than being able to find Pokemon buried beneath rocks or snow, you could even use it in battle or in the dark if your vision is impaired.”

Nia looks down at her hands, flexing them. She supposes she did kind of “see” Tobias’ aura to find him in the rubble. And she remembers when she was first learning to use her aura that Val’s energy formed a sort of…silhouette of color. Nia hadn’t thought of practicing her aura as a form of vision, but Avery does have a point about it being useful in certain situations.

“Want to try it?” Xander asks, dropping into the conversation from Avery's other side.

“Now?” Nia asks.

“Why not?”

Nia looks between everyone, but they all seem open to the idea. Tobias, sitting on Xander’s other side, looks a bit uneasy as usual at the mention of aura, but he doesn’t protest. Maybe since Nia has already seen his aura once, albeit on a very surface level, some of his reluctance has melted away.

“You…don’t mind if I look at your aura to practice?”

Everyone shakes their head, save for Tobias. He just shrugs, looking down to fiddle with his scarf. That's as close to a yes as she's probably getting.

Well, they’re all waiting for her. With a hesitant nod, Nia closes her eyes, trying to remember what she did down in the mines. At the time she was fueled by desperation, so it feels strange to try and replicate the move in a more relaxed environment. She thinks she just kind of…pushed out a thin pulse of aura? Like a wave.

She tries it once, gently. Her aura barely even leaves her body, brushing against Val’s orange energy and flashing in her mind’s eye before petering out. Frowning, Nia turns up the power a few notches. Not so strong as to hurt, but not so weak that it dissipates immediately.

On her second try, the aura washes over all of them in a single pulse. Colors light up in her mind’s eye, resembling their vague silhouettes. Val’s bright, strong orange. Avery’s calming indigo. Xander’s eye-catching red. Tobias’ deeper scarlet. For an instant, for a moment, she sees them all, before it goes dark again.

“That felt…interesting,” Xander says, making Nia open her eyes. He’s rubbing a paw over his chest.

Nia blinks. “You felt that?”

Avery nods. “Yes! It’s so hard to describe. It almost feels like you…brushed your paw over my arm to get my attention. But…against my mind instead? My emotions, maybe?”

Nia cringes, immediately glancing at Tobias. He was the touchiest about her aura being invasive.

He does look a bit wary. “How does it feel for you? When you do that.”

Nia looks down at her hand, curling it. “I…don’t think I focused on anyone long enough to get a read on anything? But I’m familiar enough with all of you that it was easy to tell who was who. I could still…feel your personalities? But not any specific emotions.”

“If you were to focus your aura more steadily, in a direct connection rather than a radius, I wonder how well you could track an opponent, even with your eyes closed,” Val says, hand at her chin.

“Could you attach your aura in some way?” Avery adds. “Tag someone, so you would have a constant link?”

Nia sits back. Huh. She certainly hadn’t thought of that. She’s glad these two are here to help. “I…don’t know? I’ve never tried.”

“Would you want to?” Avery asks, practically vibrating with excitement at the prospect of experimenting. They clearly wouldn’t mind being a guinea pig.

“Sure? If you don’t, uh. Mind. Any suggestions for how to do this? Since you’re a psychic type?”

“Well, you should probably start out by touching them, right?” Xander says, tilting his head. He glances Kry and Felix’s way when a small explosion goes off from their sparring. Felix is cackling as Kry shouts something at him.

“That would likely be a good place to start, yes,” Val says.

Avery holds out a hand, smiling. Nia hesitates, then takes it, closing her eyes and reaching out with her aura.

Avery’s purple-blue aura, as curious and deep as the night sky, flares to life behind Nia’s eyelids, making up the kirlia’s silhouette. Nia’s own bright blue aura is a strong contrast to it, the two colors a beautiful mix where they overlap at their hands. But when Nia pulls back her paw, Avery’s aura vanishes. She frowns, and touches the kirlia again so the indigo flares back to life. So she does need to…attach her aura to them, somehow. Anchor herself?

Nia can’t think of how to do such a thing, so she tries to let her instincts take over instead. Aura is all about emotion, after all. About her life energy, what she wills into being. So what if she just…wills her aura to connect? Wills her bond with the kirlia to become something…tangible. Something physical. Something more than the surface-level observations of aura that she's done so far, something deeper.

She thinks about Avery’s soft voice and bright eyes and the delicate way they move. How they’re always happy to help Nia think through a problem and how their very presence soothes something anxious in Nia. Warm affection wells up in her heart.

Nia’s aura moves to follow that pull, that connection, latching onto Avery’s instead of just brushing against it. She feels a rush of emotion, of thought, that isn’t hers.

fascinating eager friend proud curious

It’s less a voice, and more a…feeling of each word. Not too different from what Nia has felt in the past, but somehow more intense. Clearer. Nia yanks her hand away, startled, but between them a string of bright blue aura remains, tying her to Avery’s indigo aura and keeping their form visible behind her eyelids. If Nia focuses on it, she can still feels Avery’s emotions, distant. Like a voice from the next room over or a palm radiating warmth through a heavy sweater.

Worry friend okay?

Nia’s eyes snap open, and she feels the connection cut out, leaving her feeling almost…lonely. She’s panting like she hasn’t since the early days of her aura training. Avery, Xander, and Tobias are watching her with mirrored expressions of concerned curiosity.

“I-I think it worked?” Nia says.

Avery lights up, leaning forward. “Tell me everything.”

Nia tries her best to describe the experience as Felix and Kry return to the group, Kry pouting at her loss and Felix ribbing the dragon type with an elbow to her side. As soon as they’re caught up on what’s happening, Felix eagerly volunteers to be Nia’s next test subject.

Nia has a slightly harder time connecting to Felix’s leafy green aura, and frowns as she tries and fails to find a foothold.

“Maybe your aura is too depleted?” Avery suggests.

Nia considers that, but shakes her head. No, her aura isn’t anywhere near gone. It’s just like…trying to stick one piece of cotton to another, with no adhesive to hold it in place. With Avery, it was like there’d been a piece of Velcro to snag onto.

Val, arms crossed and head tilted, flicks her gaze to Tobias. “Charmander.”

Tobias, who had been watching the whole process with an unreadable expression, frowns. “Yeah?”

“You next.”

Nia and Tobias shake their heads at the same time.

“No.”

“H-He doesn’t have to, really!”

“He is your partner,” Val cuts in. “He of all Pokemon should be the one you are most familiar with. If you two are separated, I want to know you have a chance to use this skill to your advantage.”

That is…unfortunately a good point. Except Tobias has been so private with his aura, from the very beginning. Not that Nia can blame him! It’s a really personal thing. But…she also doesn’t want to disappoint Val, and—

“Fine,” Tobias grumbles, scooting over to sit in front of Nia and jabbing his hand forward. “Get it over with.”

Nia blinks at him, surprised. Just like that?

Tobias flushes. “She has a good point. C’mon.”

Nia still hesitates, but after glancing at his face one more time she closes her eyes and reaches out a hand.

Before even brushing against him, her aura leaps from her body to his, latching on like a magnet. Tobias’ emotions filter through the string, somehow…louder than Avery's. Clearer, like the reception is better.

hide hide hide calm down Nia won’t hate calm down will she get it over with already—

Nia cuts the connection herself, recoiling with wide eyes. Tobias glares back at her, none of the turmoil she just felt showing on his face.

“Riolu?” Val prompts.

“You didn’t even touch me,” Tobias grumbles. “Why do you look so freaked out?”

“I-I didn’t need to?” Nia says, more a question than a statement. “I…my aura connected on its own?”

“Without contact?” Avery asks.

Surprised, Nia nods. Her attention is admittedly torn, though, caught on the thoughts and emotions Nia felt when she connected to her partner. He’s…so scared of her looking at his aura. And not because of privacy reasons, like she’d previously thought.

He’s…scared Nia will hate what she sees?

“Hm.” Val looks like she expected this turn of events. “I suspect the depth of your bond with someone influences how easily you can connect to them.”

“Or maybe Nia is just getting better as she goes?” Felix suggests.

Nia can’t give the speculation her full attention like she usually would. She’s too busy trying to tear her thoughts away from Tobias’ suddenly worrying self-esteem, or lack thereof. She…doesn’t think she can really bring it up directly, since they were kind of his private thoughts? But she’s more than a little concerned. She’s confident that the two of them are friends at this point, but he’s still so scared that she’s suddenly going to…what? Turn on him? Just because she gets a better understanding of who he is?

“Try again on Wartortle,” Val says.

Nia manages to focus back on the conversation, at least a little. Distracted, almost without thinking, she reaches out and tries to make her aura connect to Felix again, this time without touching. Her aura strains and reaches an inch or two past her body before snapping back. Completely different than it was with Tobias, where it leaped for him like a long-lost friend.

“No,” Nia murmurs. “I think Val is right. It’s…it feels completely different.”

Felix looks unusually put out by Nia struggling to connect with his aura. Val, Avery and Xander, however, just seem thoughtful. Kry is busy picking at her teeth.

Tobias is staunchly looking everywhere but Nia, face redder than usual and fingers rubbing at his scarf. Embarrassed. Nia supposes she understands how he feels, even in her distracted state. It’s one thing to feel close to him, but another thing entirely to have tangible proof of their friendship. Then again, apparently he needs proof, if his inner thoughts are anything to gauge by.

“If only we could speak with one of the lucario tribes,” Avery sighs. “They must know so much more about aura and what it can do. Psychic energy can be used for telepathy and more physical techniques like telekinesis, but aura is an entirely different matter since it deals directly with life energy and emotions. I’ve heard you can even influence a target's emotional state and manipulate their aura like you would your own!”

Nia leans back, something in her gut turning over as she snaps back to the conversation at hand. Influencing others’ emotions? Manipulating their aura, their life energy?

"That…uh, sounds a little scary, Avery."

Avery seems surprised, but then laughs. “Apologies. I suppose it does. I just thought it was fascinating! And I know you would never misuse your aura, so I don’t fear that kind of power in your paws.”

Nia’s unease fades a bit as she gives them a smile. It’s nice to know Avery has so much faith in her.

“For now, continue to explore this technique, Riolu,” Val says. She tilts her head towards the battlefield. “Avery. Luxio. You are next.”

Avery looks reluctant to leave the discussion, but sighs and stands with an unreasonable amount of grace. They give Xander a teasing smile. “Think you can win this time?”

Xander laughs, lighting up in the way he only seems to around the kirlia. It’s kind of adorable. He nudges his teammate as they walk onto the battlefield together. “I’ll certainly try my best.”

Val hums, gaze lingering on the two of them as they start sparring without her call. “Charmander, you will battle Wartortle next.”

Nia frowns. Felix just battled a bit ago. “Shouldn’t I..?”

“You can fight if you would prefer to, but I can see you are reluctant. I believe you are making fine enough combat progress to focus on your aura today.”

Oh. Nia would prefer that over sparring, if Val thinks she’s doing all right. “O-Okay! So should I just..?”

“Practice with my aura while I monitor the sparring,” Val says, still watching the battle. “Connect to me, then try stepping away to see how far you can go before you lose the connection. Take a break between each attempt.”

There’s no hesitation in the medicham’s words, so after a moment Nia nods and closes her eyes to connect to Val’s orange energy. It’s not nearly as easy as Tobias or even Avery, but not any more difficult than Felix. A gentle tap to the fighting type’s arm, and the connection, though weak, is made. Val’s thoughts and emotions, calm as a still lake, leak through.

Luxio spark more aggressive Avery work on physical strength Riolu take breaks cannot forget exhaust herself—

Nia tries to channel out the medicham's thoughts, feeling a bit like she’s intruding. The thoughts are still there, but like someone murmuring nearby. She can kind of tune them out, and instead focuses on getting to her feet.

Whoa. She feels a bit woozy, as she usually does when stretching her aura in new ways. After a moment she manages to back away, one step at a time. The string between them stretches longer and longer. All Nia sees is her own aura and Val’s, the orange silhouette of her a bright beacon amidst the sea of black behind her eyelids.

Nia makes it ten steps away before she feels the string…strain, for lack of a better word. A tug on her soul. Then, one more step and it snaps. Nia gasps and stumbles, barely managing to catch herself before she can fall.

“Nia?” Tobias calls, apparently watching. His brow is furrowed.

“I’m fine!” She pants. That feeling just…surprised her. It was as if something she was leaning her weight on suddenly vanished.

“Take a break,” Val calls.

Nia does so, staggering back to Val’s side to sit and watch Xander and Avery exchange blows.

That’s how the training session continues, the others taking turns sparring, Tobias included, while Nia trains this new facet of her aura.

Avery, of course, gently interrogates Nia every time they are on the sidelines, watching Nia’s progress with fascination. The two of them hold a conversation as Nia treads back and forth, getting familiar with seeing the others through her aura. Avery is as curious about Nia and Tobias’ travels to Asra and Shivergleam as they are about everything else.

When Nia brings up how protect and misty terrain stopped the effects of the forming mystery dungeon on their way back from Shivergleam, Avery falls silent. When Nia finishes that round of connection training and opens her eyes, Avery is staring at her in much the same way they did when Nia made the connection between aura and type energy. Like their world has just shifted on its axis a bit.

“Avery?”

“…It’s almost a shame you became a Seeker, Nia. The research community would be lucky to have you.”

“Has no one ever tried to use a move like that in a mystery dungeon?” Nia asks, frowning. It feels kind of…obvious?

Avery hums. “I’m sure someone has, but it’s certainly not a well-documented strategy. The number of Pokemon who know such moves is already small, and the number of those Pokemon who just happen to get caught in a mystery dungeon forming are even smaller. To then also have a calm enough head to try defending rather than running? Even less so.”

“Oh.” Nia suddenly feels very, very glad that her instinct seems to be to freeze and defend, rather than to fight or flee. In this case, it worked in her favor.

“Mystery dungeons are a fairly recent phenomenon, in the grand scheme of things,” Avery continues. “Less than half a century old. And considering how dangerous they are to study as well as how randomly and rarely they appear—at least until recently—many basic facts about how they function are still unknown."

Huh. Nia guesses that makes sense.

"So this is an incredible discovery!" Avery says, excited. "I’ll need to share with Father later and ask him to connect with the researchers and archivists at the other guilds. I wonder why those moves can interact directly with a mystery dungeon? Is the environment itself using an attack somehow?”

Avery’s voice trails off to a mutter, and Nia has to stop herself from responding. Because she knows the answer to that, thanks to Giratina. Knows that the weakening border around the Pokemon world is the cause of the mystery dungeons, and that it’s made of life energy, of aura, just like any Pokemon. It makes sense that moves, which also use aura as their base power, can interact with it.

But sharing that knowledge would mean admitting to her run-in with Giratina. It would mean sharing the news of the world ending, the news that their hopes currently hinge on finding a long-lost dormant legendary. And August is going to talk to Alistair and Tawny anyways, right? Nia doesn’t want to put that burden on Avery’s shoulders. Not when there’s nothing they can do about it. They’re having a good time, training together! There’s no reason for Nia to bother Avery with terrible news. Not yet.

Nia takes a break shortly after that conversation, starting to feel truly worn down. Tobias sits down beside her after his latest spar, panting hard after facing off against Xander. Felix and Avery battle in front of them, while Xander and Kry talk strategy and Val observes.

“Hey, you crazy kids!”

Nia and Tobias tilt their heads back to see Azami hanging over them. She must be done training her own students. The tsareena’s mouth is hidden behind her high collar, but her eyes are crinkled with a smile. “Good to see you back at the Tree in one piece.”

Tobias scoffs, but Nia feels the way he relaxes at her side. “What, you think we were going to lose an arm or something out there?”

Azami laughs. “I never know with you, Spitfire!”

The tsareena takes a seat on Val’s other side to watch the spar now that she’s done mentoring her own students. After a moment, she decides to cheer on Avery. Felix sends her a betrayed look in the midst of battle that results in him getting blasted by a fairy move. Val gets up a moment later to move to where Felix is groaning on the floor, a quiet lecture about getting distracted in battle likely on her tongue.

On Nia's other side, Tobias is now arguing with Kry and Xander about offensive versus defensive strategies. Tobias insists that offensive is best, of course, while Xander leans more towards defensive strategies. Kry seems to be arguing that going on the offensive is not aggressive enough, somehow.

Nia, left to drift in the middle, sits in contented silence, letting her fatigued aura rest. She watches Val talk to Avery next. The medicham’s stoic expression is softened ever so slightly as she directs the kirlia on how they could’ve better dodged a tricky aqua tail attack earlier in the battle.

Azami leans over to whisper to Nia, “You’re one of her favorites, y’know.”

“W-What?”

“Val,” Azami says. She straightens up, but keeps her voice low. “She didn’t have the greatest mentor growing up, so she tends to keep her students at arm’s length. But she always perks up when you and Spitfire are back in town.”

“Oh,” Nia says, unsure what else to respond with. Her ears feel warm.

She…wasn’t expecting that. Val doesn’t seem to hate being around Nia and teaching her, but Nia has a hard time believing that Val holds any particular fondness for her, either. Especially considering Nia’s inexperience with pretty much, well…everything. If anything, she’d thought Val might find her kind of exhausting to deal with. Not that the medicham ever let that slip, but she doesn’t let much of anything slip.

“Trust me,” Azami laughs. “Other than Alistair, I’m the best Val translator in the guild. We’re close.”

Her voice is sly, and Nia glances at the tall grass type.

Azami winks.

Oh, Nia thinks as her brows shoot up. She doesn’t want to assume anything, but Azami isn’t exactly subtle. Does that mean her and Val..?

Val finishes offering advice and returns to sit between Nia and Azami, stopping Nia’s moment of revelation. Still, she can’t help peeking over at the two Pokemon afterwards, trying to figure out if Azami was just teasing her or not. Azami does lean awfully close to Val when they talk, and the medicham doesn’t seem to mind at all. Then again, cool and collected is kind of her default state.

For a moment, Nia thinks, I could connect to Val’s aura to find out.

Then she registers that thought and tears her gaze away to watch the next spar, stomach turning uncomfortably. She’s going to need to be careful with how she practices this new technique. Every time she thinks she’s getting a grasp on her aura, getting comfortable with it, something new pops up to throw a curveball and make her feel like she’s handling a live bomb. It’s just…scary. To know she holds so much power.

Val calls it quits on everyone’s training soon after. Tobias and Xander’s team are radiating exhaustion, and they eagerly agree to break for a late lunch. While Nia isn’t physically tired, her aura is worn down to a fraction of its usual amount and that leaves her ready for a rest and a good meal, too.

“Wanna come with us to the dining hall?” Felix invites, smile broad as he stands and stretches.

Nia glances at her partner. Tobias seems uncertain, but doesn’t disagree immediately, so he’s probably just feeling shy about how to say yes without a fuss. Nia accepts for them both, and the group packs up to head down the Lexym Tree to the cafeteria floor.

As they leave, calling thanks to Val and Azami, Nia spots the tsareena slinging an arm around Val’s shoulders, laughing about something. Val’s mouth twitches into a small smile.

Nia bites back a smile of her own and hurries after her friends.

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Chp: 14

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of two known death eaters from one of the oldest and richest families in the wizarding world. Are you truly prepared to give up everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 4k

Warnings: smut, vaginal fingering, y/n is lowkey service top, tooth rotting fluff, light angst

Note: gonna be honest not much at all happens in this one plot wise and it's definitely for selfish reasons lol i really just wanted to write a more fluffy chapter after all the angst in the last one...

there is tiny bit of smut in this so if you wish to skip it look out for the asterisks!

lastly, i do plan to get the next part out as soon as i can. i don't want you guys to have to wait several weeks again so keep a lookout for it! but as always, endless thanks for your patience and i hope you enjoy this one <3

Taglist: @gvrsto @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @arielj @poppyflower-22 @scarleigh1989 @smut-religiously777 @cocoyeehaw @blackbirdv98 @arcturusseer @iamcapitalgbicorn8287 @lonewalker17 @karasonromanoff @httphayn @bigbadsofty07 @cherryflavoredcoke @dumpsapphic @idontwannabehereatm @js-a-writer @baylegend6 @puta1

You stir awake to the feeling of a gentle hand against your chest.

"My love.." Hermione whispers into your ear, you soon feel her lips on your cheek.

You fail to open your eyes, merely let out a groan in response, earning a light chuckle from the Gryffindor.

"What time is it?" You ask, finally opening your eyes slightly to look at your girlfriend.

Hermione remains gazing at you fondly, her hand moves from your chest to your face, she begins trailing your features with her fingers as she answers your question.

"I think it's half past noon." Your girlfriend responds and you let out a breath of relief.

After another sleepless night you managed to slip into a dreamless slumber afterall, even if it was a few short hours, you are thankful for it regardless. 

You shut your eyes again, for a few moments you simply laid still, enjoying the sensation of Hermione's careful fingers on your face, that is until a certain realization hits you.

"Wait, were you watching me sleep?" You ask, bemused, shifting your entire body to look at your girlfriend properly.

Hermione lets out a giggle at that, she sets her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"Maybe.." She admits with a shrug and you can't help the smirk playing on your lips as you catch her looking away sheepishly.

You reach up to slowly swipe your thumb across her mouth. Hermione stops biting her lip as her eyes now flit down to your own. 

Hermione leans in suddenly, eagerly, as if she's entirely abandoned her intrinsic nature of repressing her urges, her lips meet yours with true want and passion. As Hermione kisses you time stops, you don't see, hear or feel anything besides her.

Your girlfriend eventually pulls away but you are far from finished. You held her in place by the collar as you continued trailing open mouthed kisses against her jaw before moving to her neck.

Hermione's breath catches in her throat as your tongue makes contact with her pulse point, you feel her reach down to grip your shirt, she clutches the fabric tightly as she tries to speak.

"The others are already having lunch in the kitchen, we should probably join them." Her voice trembles slightly and you have to force back a grin.

"Yes.. we should." You respond, leaning back to look at her. Hermione remains clutching your shirt in, her eyes remain fixed on your mouth in anticipation as you spoke.

"Or we could stay in bed.. I think we deserve to spend some time together, just the two of us" You add before leaning in to connect your lips again.

Hermione lets out a whimper at your sudden action and it only urges you on.

You finally sit up, guiding Hermione back to her side of the bed and she quickly takes the hint, properly laying her head on the pillow. As she does so you seize the opportunity to move on top of her, settling yourself in between her legs.

Your lips finally part but your face remains hovering over Hermione's. You always thought she looked the most beautiful like this, unguarded, content, staring up at you with nothing but affection.

Hermione smiles as she reaches up to thread her fingers through your hair, and you basically wilt under her touch instantaneously.

"I wish that you and I could just escape.. somewhere far away where no one would find us." Your girlfriend finally states and you lean down to place a chaste kiss on her cheek. 

You catch the desperation in her voice and it nearly shatters you.

"I wish for that too, my love." You reply, and Hermione has to avert her eyes again, this time for a different reason.

You both knew running away was not a possibility. 

You also understood that this war was far from over, even though you felt like you've been on the run for an eternity. It was truly only just the beginning. 

The incident at Malfoy Manor only made you realize just how entirely uncertain the future is; it weighs on each of you heavily. 

On the other hand it also acts as a reminder for you to live everyday as if it were your last. You aim to appreciate every moment spent with Hermione, to take advantage of these times alone with her in any way that you can.

**

"Let's not think about it right now." You utter just above a whisper, with a finger underneath her chin you guide Hermione to look at you. Your face is inching closer, but you don't kiss her yet, you wait for her to meet you halfway; and she does.

Hermione seems to take your advice as she is quickly consumed by the feeling of your mouth against hers. She closes her eyes as she fully loses herself in the kiss. Your girlfriend focuses on your hands on her body, your breath mingling with her own.

The bed begins to shake slightly from the force of the kiss. Hermione lets out another noise of pleasure as your tongue moves against hers. With a hand on the back of your head the other girl pulls you in even closer, wanting to feel all of you. 

In a moment of heated desperation you grab the hem of her shirt, tugging it upwards. Hermione lifts herself up slightly, allowing you to remove it from her body completely.

You aimlessly toss her shirt to the side before placing a quick peck on the corner of her mouth. You pull away to continue trailing kisses down her chest, another shiver runs through Hermione as she soon feels your tongue against the swell of her breast, goosebumps form on her skin as you continue your journey down until you reach her nipple.

A moan slips out of Hermione's lips, in both shock and pleasure as you take the sensitive bud into your mouth. You continue licking and sucking at it, your girlfriend's tight grip on your hair only makes you more eager to do the same to her other breast. This time you bite down on the flesh playfully before quickly soothing it with your tongue, you pull another whine from Hermione at the sensation.

She arches her back but you expertly pin her back down onto the mattress with a firm hand on her stomach, Hermione squirms underneath you as a result.

"Please.." Your girlfriend whispers and you merely smirk in response. 

You don't entertain her with a proper reply, purposefully; you continue nipping at her skin, as you reach her navel, you bite down again, slightly harder this time before immediately soothing the mark with your tongue and Hermione groans.

"Y/n.." She repeats and you decide to finally acknowledge her plea.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" You ask, feigning innocence, your face hovering over hers once more.

Hermione only makes a noise of disapproval at your response, one that sounds more like a sob than a whine, she squirms again but you distract her by kissing her deeply.

You soon feel her grabbing ahold of your free hand mid kiss, impatiently guiding it to the hem of her sweatpants, slipping it underneath her underwear.

"Please– touch me." Hermione begs, pushing your hand deep inside enough that your fingers make slight contact with her already dripping heat.

Your girlfriend's sheer desperation made you weak, you can feel how wet she already is; so you decided to cease torturing her.

You kiss her again, simultaneously, finally, swiping your fingers across her folds, you apply pressure against her clit with your thumb and Hermione has to stop kissing you as she chokes out a moan. 

Your girlfriend grips the back of your neck as she moves her hips eagerly, trying to create more friction between your fingers and her core. Hermione is already a writhing mess, you observed as her chest raised and fell at a rapid rate, the sight manages to take your own breath away.

"I want your fingers inside." Hermione means it as an order but her voice trembles as she rolls her hips again.

You catch sight of your girlfriend's strained expression, almost like it physically pained her the longer you took to satisfy her needs.

You decide to set aside your initial plans to make her wait, soon tilting your head to bite down on the flesh of Hermione's neck as you enter two fingers inside her. The sound that erupts from Hermione's chest is loud, it is one of intense pleasure; and you are quickly addicted to it. 

You pushed further in until you were knuckle deep, Hermione's mouth falls open as she throws her head back at the feeling. She maintains her firm grip on your neck, moving her other hand to your back, you can feel her fingernails digging into your flesh, even with the fabric of your shirt acting as a barrier, it is still painful. You groan in pain as you begin pumping in and out of her at a steady pace. 

Your fingers manage to hit deep inside of her, with every movement Hermione gasps and moans grow louder and more frequent. She is closer to her peak than you initially thought, you notice her walls already contracting around your fingers.

Hermione arches her back again and this time you guide her body back down with your pelvis, holding her in place.

"Does that feel good?" You ask, your lips brushing against her ear, already knowing the answer, your aim was simply to tease her.

Hermione attempts to glare at you but as you continue skillfully pumping in and out her, she can only afford to nod. She lets out another moan, one you swallow just in time as you move your mouth against hers harshly.

Your girlfriend reciprocates, the kiss remains all tongue and open-mouthed as Hermione attempts to catch her breath.

"I love you–" She proclaims her love to you amidst her high and you can't help but smile down at her, your chest brimming with adoration.

"I love you too, my sweet girl." You respond, pumping your fingers even faster and deeper.

Hermione gasps again, her hand quickly leaves your back to grip the sheets underneath, and you can tell her release is just around the corner.

"You are just so beautiful." You praise, in genuine awe, and this manages to push Hermione over the edge as her orgasm hits her violently. You feel her walls squeezing painfully around your fingers as her entire body shakes underneath you, Hermione pulls you even closer, with a last ditch effort to muffle her own moans she buries her face in the crook of your neck.

Your girlfriend lets out a whimper as you slowly pull out of her, the aftershocks of her orgasm still making her tremble. 

Moments pass and Hermione remains not speaking but she continues to hold you close, and you allow her to. You begin trailing kisses on her cheek and jaw, giving her all the time she needed to recover.

**

"I don't want to imagine a life without you." The first thing Hermione says once she's mustered enough energy to speak, now you can physically feel a pang in your chest.

You lift yourself up on your forearms slightly so you can properly look at her. Hermione's hair is now a mess, she looks spent from her orgasm, but she remains utterly breathtaking.

"Well you never have to worry about that because I'm not going anywhere." You respond, carefully smoothing down a few stray hairs on her head.

Your touch seemingly rattles something within her as you notice her eyes welling up with tears.

"Do you swear it?" Hermione asks, staring up at you expectantly and you sigh.

You both know now more than ever that promises are easily broken, you simply don't know which day will be your last. You can't exactly be certain that you will remain by your girlfriend's side, even though you desperately wanted to no matter what.

"Hermione–" You start but she interjects.

"Just promise that you won't leave me." Your girlfriend reiterates, and you recognized that she just needed to hear you say the words, for her own peace of mind.

"You are the reason I breathe, my love. You are my heart. Without you I am nothing." You finally admit earnestly and Hermione releases the breath she had been holding.

"I am not going anywhere." 

You manage to catch a faint smile on Hermione's lips as she pulls you into a hug.

Most of your weight is now resting on top of her, but your girlfriend makes no sound of protest.

You continue embracing her for a moment longer until you hear a knock on the bedroom door.

"Ladies, we're having lunch out here.. if you care to join us." 

You quickly recognize the voice coming from the other side to be Ron's oldest brother.

You tear your eyes away from the door to look at Hermione and the reality finally sets in that everyone sitting outside has probably been made privy to every noise between the two of you during your love making session. 

Hermione's cheeks turn a dark shade of pink while she covers her face with her hands and you merely grin in amusement.

"We'll be right there!" 

════════════════════════════════════════════

Hermione chose to settle on your lap once you were done having lunch, as it seems the events that took place at the Malfoy's affected her more than you initially realized. 

Your girlfriend doesn't wish to be apart from you. As far as she is concerned you are the only reason she didn't get seriously injured. It is uncertain what Bellatrix would've continued to do to her if you hadn't intervened, and Hermione is endlessly grateful that you didn't give her the chance to find out.

Hermione continues mindlessly fiddling with your fingers as you rest your hand on your lap. Neither of you speak, simply enjoying being in each other's company. 

The only noises are coming from the windchime by the door and the kitchen where Ron and his brother are cleaning the dishes.

Luna can be seen standing by the door admiring the view of the beach, she is the first to break the silence with actual words.

"It's beautiful here." Luna says.

You let out a chuckle.

Not one of mockery, quite the contrary; it is instead one of admiration. You admired her ability to find the beauty in the little things, considering the circumstances and even after everything she has been through.

Although you agreed, the cottage was beautiful, perhaps in a different situation you would be able to truly appreciate it, but you are certain, today without Hermione by your side, you wouldn't be able to find much beauty in anything.

You remain staring at the door where Luna stood, Hermione catches you deep in thought but she doesn't ask you about it. She reaches up to run her fingers through your hair and when you finally look at her, there's a shared regard. She feels safe in your arms, and you feel safer knowing that she doesn't plan to leave your side any more than necessary.

"This place belonged to our aunt." Bill responds, walking over to Luna once he was done washing the dishes.

Ron slips past him to take a seat opposite y/n and Hermione.

"We used to come here as kids, the Order uses it now as a safehouse–" He continues.

"What's left of it at least." Bill finishes and Luna doesn't respond but she gives him a faint nod in acknowledgement.

Silence hangs in the air once again, this time it is uncomfortable, everyone left with no choice but to feel. It is mainly anxiety, fear and exhaustion. Impending doom in every sense.

You instinctively pull Hermione closer, leaning your head against her chest. Your girlfriend reacts by rubbing at your back soothingly, before resting her chin on the top of your head.

You can hear Hermione's steady heartbeat as your ear pressed up against her chest and you find yourself silently hoping for time to stop. 

Just for a while, so you could stay like this, so you can take a breath before being forced to face the inevitable. 

As expected, time doesn't stop, instead you receive a rather grating response to such a wish when Harry emerges from the other room.

"We need to talk to the Goblin." He states, glancing at Ron, you and Hermione.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You enter the Goblin's room after Harry, immediately catching sight of Griphook sitting in an armchair by the window.

He is sitting still with his eyes shut, the sight is almost eerie, for some reason you feel compelled to intertwine your fingers with Hermione's. Your girlfriend seems glad at the gesture, she holds onto your hand firmly as she settles next to you. Ron remains next to her by the now closed door.

"How are you?" Harry breaks the silence, approaching the Goblin, and Griphook finally opens his eyes.

"Alive." He responds simply and Harry nods in understanding, making his way to the window next to him before speaking again.

Your eyes follow his movements, your gaze naturally falls on the sword propped up in the corner. It manages to also catch Harry's attention, but he fails to acknowledge it. 

"You probably don't remember–" Harry starts but the Goblin quickly finishes his thought for him.

"That I showed you to your vault the first time you came to Gringotts?" Griphook states.

"Even amongst Goblins you are famous.. Harry Potter." 

Harry fails to react to his comment, he merely glances out the window.

"You buried the elf?" Griphook asks and the dark haired man nods.

"Yes." Harry answers, his tone purposeful as to not appear solemn.

He keeps his eye contact with the Goblin again.

"And brought me here." Griphook states the obvious.

"You are a very unusual wizard." He adds and 

Harry averts his eyes again, to look at the sword, this time, it doesn't go unnoticed by the Goblin.

"How did you come by this sword?" Griphook asks, gesturing to the Gryffindor relic.

"It's complicated." Harry decides to respond vaguely, harboring a mistrust that you incidentally shared.

"Why did Bellatrix Lestrange think it should've been in her vault at Gringotts?" The chosen one tries but Griphook is not so easily deceived.

"It's complicated." Griphook retaliates and Harry glances at you instinctively, almost wordlessly asking for your permission to disclose the truth to the Goblin.

You give him a subtle nod in response as Hermione shuffles closer to you.

"Y/n was led to the sword in a time of need. We didn't steal it." Harry finally admits decisively.

Griphook looks over at you, he nearly appears amused.

"There is a sword in Madam Lestrange's vault identical to this one but it is a fake. It was placed there last summer." The Goblin explains.

You and Hermione share a knowing look, your suspicions proven right. You both already understood Snape had something to do with it.

"And she never suspected it was a fake?" Harry asks.

"The replica is very convincing. Only a Goblin would recognize that this was the true sword of Gryffindor." Griphook claims.

"Who's the acquaintance?" Hermione asks the question simply to satisfy her suspicions, for the both of you already knew the answer.

"A Hogwarts professor–" The Goblin starts.

"Snape." You interject and Griphook nods.

"As I understand it he's now Headmaster." The Goblin finishes and this time the four of you share a look.

"Snape? He put a fake sword in Bellatrix's vault, why?" Ron asks the question you and Hermione have spent countless hours in the past trying to answer.

"There are curious things at the vaults in Gringotts." Griphook responds ominously and Harry glances at you again as an idea dawns on him.

"And in Madam Lestrange's vault, as well?" He asks and the Goblin takes a beat to respond.

"Perhaps.." He finally says.

"I need to get into Gringotts, into one of the vaults." Harry starts.

"This is impossible." Griphook was quick to shut the idea down.

"Alone, yes. but with you– no." The dark haired man quips and Griphook pauses again, as if weighing his options.

"Why should I help you?" The Goblin finally asks.

"I have gold. Lots of it." Harry replies, Griphook shakes his head.

"I have no interest in gold." He states.

"Then what?" Harry asks, there is a pause before Griphook points to the sword and you let out a deep sigh.

"That. That is my prize."

The Goblin was certainly not foolish, he was dealing his cards cleverly.

Harry looks between you and Hermione, the both of you shake your head in disagreement, but the chosen one fails to listen to your advice this time.

"Fine." 

════════════════════════════════════════════

"Are you certain there's a Horcrux in Bellatrix's vault?" Hermione whispers to you as you step out of the room.

You nod, however, before you can properly respond, Harry does it for you.

"She was terrified when she thought we were in there, she kept asking what else you had taken." The dark haired boy says.

"I know there's a Hocrux in her vault– there has to be." You add with certainty.

"Let's find it and kill it and then we'll be one step closer to killing him." Harry states but Ron isn't convinced.

"And what happens if we find it? How are we supposed to destroy it now that you've given the sword to Griphook?" Ron poses a good question, one none of you could answer.

"I'm still working on that part." Harry responds with the truth.

He aims to speak again but the door opening behind him stops him from doing so.

Ron's sister in law soon emerges from the doorway, staring down at the four of you.

"He's weak." Fluer states, referring to Mr Olivander.

Harry does hesitate, but only for a beat. He enters the room anyway and the three of you follow suit. 

-

The older man is sitting in a chair by the bed, Harry has seemingly interrupted him, appearing to be deep in thought, staring into space.

You enter the room last, shutting the door behind you.

"Mr Olivander, I need to ask you a few questions." Harry asks timidly unsure if he should approach.

"Anything, my boy, anything." The wandmaker replies and Harry takes it as an invitation to take a seat next to him on the bed.

"Would you mind identifying this wand? We need to know if it's safe to use." Harry hands Olivander the wand.

The wandmaker begins inspecting it carefully, the four of you observe him with bated breath.

"Walnut. Dragon Heartstring. Twelve and three quarter inches.." The older man finally voices.

"Unyielding." He adds, as he hands the wand back to Harry.

"This belonged to Bellatrix Lestrange. Treat it carefully." The older man whispers, as if afraid the now deceased witch would be able to hear him if he dared speak any louder.

You adjust your weight from one foot to the other, shifting uncomfortably. Hermione manages to notice, feeling a similar unease herself, she makes the effort to guide your arm, snaking it around her waist as she steps closer towards you. You squeeze her side in unspoken gratitude, holding her close.

"And this?" Harry asks, pulling another wand out of his pocket.

Mr Olivander reaches out to grab it and you recognize it immediately.

"Hawthrone. Unicorn Hair. Ten inches. Reasonably pliant." The wandmaker lists out the wand's characteristics.

"That's Draco's wand." You state out loud, but the man doesn't respond, he holds up the wand to his ear, listening for something.

"This was the wand of Draco Malfoy." Olivander states and you are immediately perplexed by his choice of words.

"Was? Is it not still?" Harry asks the question you were pondering yourself.

"Perhaps not, if you won it from him." The wandmaker states and your forehead creased in further confusion.

"I sense its allegiance has changed." Olivander states simply, returning the wand to Harry.

"Sir, what does that mean exactly?" You ask, stepping forward, releasing Hermione from your grip.

The wandmaker looks up at you, a kind smile playing on his lips.

"The wand chooses the wizard, y/n."

[merrybloomwrites]

I Hear Them Calling (Chapter 5)

Story Summary: Alpha Harry Styles and omega Y/N Y/L/N meet under less than ideal circumstances. Overtime their paths will cross and they will be drawn to one another in ways they never expected.

Chapter Summary: Harry and Y/N spend the weekend together in Chicago

Previous Chapters: Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4

Word Count: 3.8k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, what are we going to see in the city?” You ask Harry. You’re both on the couch eating fruit, since Harry insisted you needed some sort of snack to hold you over until lunch.

“Well, first, we should swing by your hotel. Figured you might want to get changed,” he replies. You laugh and nod in agreement. While you wouldn’t mind living in Harry’s comfy clothes doused in his scent, you know that going in public, with him, wearing his clothes, is admittedly a terrible idea.

“Then obviously some lunch,” he continues. “And after that, I have no idea. Maybe see where the day takes us?”

“I like that plan,” you answer. Normally you like to have everything totally scheduled out, but you’re excited to see what experiences might happen naturally.

“We can keep your things in the car while we’re out and stop back here to drop them off on our way to the arena later,” he adds.

“Am I staying here tonight?” You inquire.

He pauses, trying to find the right words. “I would like for you to stay,” he finally says. “It’s just, you’re only hours out of a drop. And you said that hasn’t happened for a long time. I would like you to stay close to me in case something happens. And uhm, my alpha is fairly attached to your omega at the moment.” Harry blushes and his eyes look down at his fingers as he finishes his sentence.

“Harry?” you say, and his gaze meets yours. “I’d love to stay.”

His anxious face instantly morphs into one of excitement and he says, “Fantastic! Okay, I’m going to call a car to take us to your hotel and we can start our adventure.”

“It’s only a couple of blocks, we could walk it.”

At this he seems nervous again and he quickly explains, “It’s probably best if we drive. We’ll be more under the radar that way, and I don’t necessarily want to be seen in public too much.”

“Oh, right, of course. That totally makes sense.” There’s an insecure part of your brain telling you that it’s because he doesn’t want to be seen with you, just some average nobody, but you tell that voice to shut up. Harry would never be so callous, so shallow. He simply wants his privacy.

A few minutes later you’re back in your quiet hotel room. Harry is waiting in the car, so you quickly get changed and freshen up. You spray on our scent blockers and are disappointed that you no longer smell like Harry. He put on blockers before leaving his hotel as well so now it will be hours before you’ll catch his scent again. If you’re lucky. You remind yourself this whole situation is temporary, and you should take what you get.

Your belongings are mostly packed so it only takes a minute to get everything together. When you reenter the car you let out the breath you’d been holding while separated from Harry. You admit to yourself you are still feeling the effects of the drop, and you allow yourself to revel in the presence of an alpha. Normally the idea that you need to rely on an alpha for anything would make you mad, but not right now. Not when that alpha greets you with a shy smile as you slide into your seat next to him. And especially not when that alpha reaches over so your hands are resting close enough to just barely touch.

It's a bit of a drive to the restaurant Harry picked out, and you pass the time making small talk. You discuss your families, hobbies, favorite vacation spots, anything you can think of. Nothing is all that crazy or interesting, but Harry is locked in on every word you say. It makes you feel warm inside, having his full attention and knowing he truly wants to hear what you have to say.

Harry is so absorbed in the conversation that even he is surprised when the car stops outside the restaurant. He gets out, quickly moving around the car to open your door for you and lead you inside. The diner he’s chosen is lowkey, giving hole in the wall vibes, and you think it’s perfect.

It’s not empty, but the crowd there doesn’t bat an eye as you two walk in. A quick glance around the room shows that you’re the youngest people there by far. Everyone is engaged in conversation or reading the newspaper or a book they’ve brought with them. It makes you feel comfortable, relaxed, and you know you’re going to enjoy this lunch.

You’re seated together at a table towards the back, and a waiter comes over to take your drink orders. After he walks away it’s quiet for a moment, both you and Harry reading through the menu. He comes back a few minutes later to take your food orders. Once he leaves again you fold your hands on the table in front of you and look at Harry.

He’s sitting the same way, hands folded just inches from yours, and his eyes are already on you.

“So,” he hesitantly begins. “What’s your favorite song?”

“Like, of yours?”

He laughs before saying, “No, just, in general. But I am also curious what your favorite of mine is.”

You think for a moment, and you catch him chuckling and your very serious thinking face. “I guess all-time favorite song might be ‘Annie’s Song’ by John Denver. It was my parents’ wedding song, so we played it a lot at home. Makes me think of them.” You smile and think again for a moment before saying, “And my favorite song of yours, well, that’s harder to choose. I think maybe ‘Canyon Moon’. It’s just so fun, and upbeat. It’s the first one that really hooked me on your music.”

“That is a fun one, yeah. Kind of bummed it’s off the setlist if I’m honest. And I too love a little John Denver occasionally.”

The discussion on music lasts until your food is placed on the table. The delicious smell alerts you to how hungry you are, and you immediately dig in. Conversation stops again so the two of you can eat.

As Harry settles the bill (which you attempt to help pay for, but he quickly denies) he says, “We’ve got about an hour before we need to head back to the hotel and get ready. There’s a park nearby. What do you say about a little stroll?”

“That sounds perfect,” you reply.

He stays close to you as you walk the couple blocks to the park. His hand reaches out towards you multiple times but he pulls it back like he’s afraid to make contact. It keeps your mind spinning, wondering what’s he’s thinking when he does this. Is it an unconscious gesture? Is it a protective one? Does he just want to be touching you the way that you want to be touching him?

Once in the park he leads you to a bench by a small lake. The bushes grant you both some privacy from the few other people who are walking nearby.

“So,” he says timidly. “How are you feeling today? After the drop and everything.”

You take a moment to assess in order to answer truthfully. “Honestly, I feel pretty good right now. Like, better than I have in weeks. I think my omega really needed that break.”

“You said your meds lost their potency right? And that’s been going on for weeks then, at least since the first show you came to. How have you been coping with all of that? Do you nest at all?”

“I tried nesting in the past, but it never brought the peace people said it would. I guess cause most people are betas now so it’s harder to get alpha or other omega scents. And without those nests aren’t as comforting.”

“That has to be frustrating. I’m sorry it’s so difficult for omegas. I wish things were different for you guys, I truly do.”

“Thanks. Me too. Can I ask, why do you keep your alpha status a secret?”

“I guess because people have certain views of alphas. They think we’re mean and controlling and yea, a lot of alphas are these days. I just didn’t want people to judge me before getting to know me. Plus, some record labels and managers don’t want to work with alphas. Say they’re too unpredictable or difficult.”

“Seems like it’s tough for alphas too.”

“Yea, but at least we’re safe. No one tries to cross us or control us. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have your free will taken away by an alpha command.”

“It’s definitely not fun,” you say, shivering at the memory of being frozen and silenced just by a knothead alphas words.

Noticing your slight distress, Harry places his hand on your knee and says, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up, I know you have bad memories with that.”

You’re instantly soothed by him, and you reach out to place your hand on top of his. You have no idea where the courage to touch him like that comes from, and you’re about to pull away when he flips his hand until your palms are touching and he’s able to intertwine his fingers with yours.

The sound of your purring is sudden and surprising. It’s not something that happens often, and you almost cut it off, but you see the smile that breaks out on Harry’s face. You sit there, holding hands, and purring softly. Neither of you tries to start a conversation, just enjoying the moment.

Harry’s phone ringing brings you both back to reality. His driver is on the line, reminding Harry that it’s time to head back in order to stay on schedule. He lets go of your hand as you leave the bench, and though you’re disappointed, you remind yourself of the media frenzy that would ensue if Harry was caught holding hands with a girl.

You’re especially soothed when he reaches out for your hand again once in the privacy of the car. Just like the earlier drive, you get to know each other better, this time discussing favorite books at length.

He insists on carrying your luggage into the hotel for you, and letting you have the first shower. You’re in the living room finishing your hair when Harry walks out of the bathroom, having finished his own shower. He’s wrapped in a towel, water dripping off his hair and down his chest. You pray that your suppressants still work well enough to at least prevent unwanted slick production. Because you would literally die of embarrassment if the telltale scent of honey filled the room.

“Sorry, so sorry, forgot to grab clothes,” he says as he dashes into the bedroom to grab an outfit from the dresser. He jogs back into the bathroom and closes the door behind him. You let out the breath you’ve been holding and quickly reel in your thoughts to ensure your face isn’t still beet red when he comes back out.

You force yourself to focus on perfecting your hair in an effort to erase the image of a practically naked Harry. Or at least, erase temporarily. While you’re in his presence. It works, because by the time he comes out again, now dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, you’ve fully contained your thoughts.

“Car will be here in five minutes, you almost ready?”

“Yup, just gotta grab my phone,” you say before walking back into the bedroom to get the phone from where it’s been charging. Harry’s scent is strongest here, likely because he’s been sleeping there for weeks, plus he was broadcasting his scent the night before during your drop. It’s so potent that you almost feel dizzy. You shake your head in an attempt to clear it, quickly get the phone, and rejoin Harry in the living room.

He's distracted during the drive over, checking updates on his phone that he’d been ignoring during the day. It’s hectic but organized at the venue. There’s so much to be done but it’s a well-oiled team and everyone does their job well. You hang out in Harry’s dressing room for the most part, wanting to be out of the way.

There’s a brief moment after Harry is ready and before he needs to go on stage, and you need to find your place in the crowd. You’re finally alone again, and the two of you are standing facing each other. He reaches out to hold both your hands between his and he says, “I have another question for you.”

You’ve been asking each other questions all day, most lighthearted, some serious. But you can tell by his tone that this may be the most important one yet.

You meet his eyes, encouraging him to go on, and after a moment of nervous hesitation he says, “I’ve really like spending time with you. I’ve known for awhile that my alpha had formed a connection with your omega, and I thought that’s where my feelings for you came from. But after today I know that I just like you. You’re funny, and smart, and beautiful. So, uhm, I was wondering, will you go on a date? With me?”

You’re speechless for a moment, so you nod your head yes while trying to process everything he just said.

“Can I take you out tomorrow morning for brunch?” He continues.

Finally, you find your voice and say, “Yes, Harry, that sounds perfect.”

The brightest, most boyish smile spreads across his face. Harry’s about to speak again but there’s a knock on the door and a voice telling him he needs to leave the room in one minute.

Harry quickly says, “Can I scent you? Before you go out there?” You again nod yes, knowing that he needs this, needs to protect you in this way even though you’ll be in a VIP section with plenty of security.

Plus, you’ve decided that you’d have to be insane to ever say no when he asks that question. One of his large hands cups the side of your neck while his nose moves to the scent gland on the opposite side. It slides against your skin, and you’re surrounded by his mouthwatering smell. He presses one gentle kiss directly near your mating spot before he pulls back, gives you one last dazzling smile, and walks out the door.

Jada walks in to find you still standing, dazed, in the middle of the room. “Need a minute?” she asks with a knowing smirk.

“Just, uhm, gonna use the…bathroom, real quick,” you stutter out before fleeing through the door to the attached restroom. You quickly take some deep breaths and grab toilet paper to clean up the slick that had escaped. Thankfully you’d held it in until Harry left, and Jada, being a beta, would be none the wiser. Still, you need to pull yourself together and get your desire under control before you embarrass yourself.

Once you’re ready she leads you to the VIP section. You feel amazing, completely opposite from the night prior and you know that you owe it all to Harry. Not once during the entire show do you feel dizzy, or anxious, or any of the negative emotions you’ve been feeling for weeks. Instead, you feel electric, especially during the handful of moments when Harry’s eyes find yours in the crowd, sharing a special look with you.

You’re screaming along with all the other fans as Harry runs out of the venue. Jada then leads you out to the car the two of you will be taking back to the hotel. The ten-minute drive turns into almost thirty with all the post-concert traffic.

Back at the hotel, you knock on the door to Harry’s room. Technically it’s also yours now, and yes, you do have a key, but it still feels weird just walking in while you know he’s there. It takes a moment but finally he’s opening the door for you. As you take in his appearance, you realize you made the right decision to knock. His hair is, once again, wet, he has pajama pants on and is quickly throwing on a shirt. Obviously he’s just showered again, and you know you would not have survived seeing him with any less clothes on.

“There you are,” he says, smiling and pulling you in for a hug as the door closes behind you. For a moment you’re surprised, but quickly melt into the embrace.

Before pulling away he says, “Why don’t you change into some comfy clothes, and we can put on a movie.” You head to the bedroom, grabbing your own set of pajamas before changing and washing your face. Once you feel clean and comfortable you join Harry in the living room.

He’s already laid out blankets on the couch and pulled up the latest Rom Com on the TV. After confirming that you want to watch it, he presses play and you snuggle under your blanket.

You try to pay attention to the movie, truly, you do. But Harry’s right there, sitting next to you, looking perfectly cozy and domestic, not a single scent blocker covering the delicious smell that’s started to feel like home to you.

It’s not surprising when you start to subconsciously shift closer and closer to him. He notices the small movements, and without hesitation, wraps and arm around you and pulls you close to him. He adjusts the blankets so that you’re tucked in before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

Feeling safer and more content than you have in possibly your entire adult life, you fully relax. The next thing you know, you’re being gently placed into the bed. Sensing that you’re awake, Harry smooths down your hair and says, “Get some sleep, love,” as he pulls the covers over you.

***

Waking up with Harry’s arm slung around your middle is unexpected, but entirely welcomed. Everything feels so warm, so safe. His arm unconsciously tightens around you, and you snuggle deeper into the embrace.

It isn’t long before Harry wakes up, stretching out beside you and saying, “good morning.” His husky morning voice has you practically melting, but you still manage a “good morning” in reply.

Neither of you move for a while, choosing to lay there holding each other for as long as possible. It’s nice, once again feels rather domestic, and you have to stop yourself from imagining this happening every day. Your mating spot practically tingles at the thought of you and Harry bonded to each other, raising pups together in your home.

An alarm rings on Harry’s phone, thankfully stopping your daydream from getting too out of control. You take turns getting ready before heading to the car for your first official date.

Brunch is absolutely perfect. Harry had booked a private room to ensure fans and paparazzi wouldn’t be able to spy on your date. He steps away to use the restroom at one point, and you think about how it’s going so far. It’s just like any first date you’ve ever been on; better even.

It’s almost easy to forget that he’s this world-famous popstar. When it’s the two of you together, focusing on each other, he really just becomes the man of your dreams. The fact that he’s a respectful and gentle alpha is the icing on the cake.

After brunch you head back to the hotel to repack your bags before flying home. Harry watches sadly as you prepare to leave him. You ignore your own feelings for the moment, not wanting to cry in front of him. But truthfully, the fact that you have no idea when you’ll see him again is borderline devastating.

Once you’re packed and ready to go, Harry pulls you in for a hug. You stand there holding each other for a minute before he pulls back. You look up at his face, mere inches from yours, and note how his eyes are looking between your own eyes and your lips. His hands slide up your arms, your neck, until they’re cupping your face. He leans in and presses one simple kiss to your lips.

His eyes meet yours again, silently asking if that was alright. You can’t help but lean back in, giving him a couple kisses of your own.

It doesn’t go any further, and that alone brings you some peace. He’s not just doing this all to get into your pants the way many alphas would. Honestly, this whole weekend with him feels more like puppy love than anything.

 “Would it be alright if I scented you before you left?” Harry asks before adding “Since you’ll be at the crowded airport and everything, it might be safer if you smelled like you have an alpha.”

Some omegas might find this controlling, overwhelming, overprotective, but you know that’s not his intention at all. So you agree, and close your eyes as he leans in to scent you once more. It’s electric having him so close to you. It takes all your self-control to hold back a needy whine when he presses a kiss to your scent gland.  

“One more thing,” he says after pulling away. You watch in confusion as he walks back into the bedroom. He comes back out a minute later holding his green Pleasing sweatshirt. He hands it to you, and you can immediately tell he’d scented that as well. Without hesitation you slip in on, catching the satisfied smirk on his face as you do so.

You get a text from Jada letting you know a car is there to take you to the airport. Harry pulls you in for one last kiss, and having to leave his embrace is nearly physically painful for you. After saying a final, quiet goodbye, you grab your bag and walk out of the room.

All the stress of traveling seems miniscule compared to separating from the man who is quickly becoming one of your favorite people, not to mention is the alpha your omega seems to crave.

You arrive home pretty late that evening. The last thing you want to do is wash away Harry’s scent, but you desperately need a shower after an afternoon of travel. Thankfully you have his sweatshirt to burrow into.

You sleep peacefully that night, still surrounded by Harry’s scent, knowing the last text you received before bed was a message from Harry saying, “Sleep tight, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Thank you so much for reading! So sorry for the long delay between chapters! Hoping to get the next chapter out much sooner!

Taglist: @akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@theekyliepage@numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry@ssareidbby @gem1712 @acesofspadess@houseofdilfs@shaquille-0atmeal-1@kissitnhekitchen @amateurduck @poguestyleskye@n0vaj3an@snwells@drunk-teens-doing-drugs ; @fdl305@creativelyeva@daphnesutton@selluequestrian@lovingfurypanda @stardream14 @tbsloneely@eversincehs1@boomitsallie1@rose-garden-dreamz @fictionalmensblog @buckybarnessimpp @ottawaoutlander @storyschanging

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 3, Unbidden - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, alcohol consumption, minor discussions of sex, drunk!Bucky, minor violence, FloRida's Low (that song slaps, okay?), minor anti-Winter Soldier sentiment, an unnecessary Ted Bundy reference just because. As always, let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 4.1k

Previously On...: You and Bucky had a heart-to-heart after you came back from your mission with Steve, and Bucky asked a very interesting question about the nature of your relationship with the Star Spangled Man.

A/N: I just finished writing Chapter 9 ahead of schedule, so here is Chapter 3 a little bit earlier than I planned on posting it! Consider it in honor of Sergeant Barnes' 107th Birthday! This is my favorite chapter; I had so much fun writing it, this part in particular (even though it took me a million tries before I got it to where I wanted it). Sam is finally given some page time, and I adore him, so I hope I've captured his essence sufficiently. I sort of love writing drunk!Bucky. Part three is where things are going to take an interesting turn for Bucky and Pocket so I'm looking forward to posting that soon!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!)  @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @jmeelee @cazellen

Slapping your American Express Black Card onto the polished mahogany bar, you made sure the bartender was giving you his full attention. "Everything my group orders tonight goes on my tab, got it?" you told him. "If Tony Stark tries to pay for a single thing, tell him it's already covered and if he has a problem with it, he can take it up with me." The bartender nodded, taking your card and depositing it with the other open tabs behind the bar. It was going to be a very lucrative night for the bar.

You'd all come to Gino's, a downtown dive of place you all loved, to celebrate Bucky's clearance for missions. As a part of his presidential pardon for the Winter Soldier's crimes (completely unnecessary, in your opinion, because Bucky hadn’t been the one to commit them), he had been required to undertake 12 months of court-mandated therapy, and now that he had ten months under his belt, his therapist had signed her approval for Bucky to engage in real Avenger work, provided he was accompanied by another member of the team at all times for supervision. He'd be leaving tomorrow for a classified location with Steve and Sam; they'd be gone for about a week, so you'd wanted to commemorate the event and leave him with some positive memories before he left.

You rejoined your group in the far back, where you'd commandeered the largest corner booth and the surrounding tables. "Tonight's on me," you declared as you approached, "so drink up and eat well." Your friends cheered their thanks; Thor even banged his giant fist against the table in appreciation. You did a mock curtsey before coming to stand behind Bucky where he sat, draping your arms around his neck and shoulders and bringing your head down alongside his.

"Having a good time?" you asked him.

Bucky let out a soft chuckle, leaning back into your touch. "With you by my side? Always," he replied, his voice laced with affection. "But you didn't have to do this, doll. Pay for everything, I mean. We could have all gotten our own."

Letting go of his shoulders, you moved around to sit next to him. "Bullshit. My best friend is going on his first Avengers mission, this is the least I can do."

"Listen, man," said Sam Wilson, also known as The Falcon and, if you were being completely honest, one of your favorite teammates after Bucky, "I know things might have been different when you were younger, but in the 21st Century, when a lady offers to buy you drinks, the polite thing to do is just say 'thank you' and get hammered."

Bucky laughed and chugged down the beer he'd been previously nursing and took the bourbon you'd brought over for him from the bar. "Thank you, Pocket. Though, I don't think I'll be getting... hammered on anything here."

"You're most welcome, Buck," you said, patting his cheek, the stubble tickling at your palm. "But if you are looking to get hammered, I believe our resident God of Thunder has brought a little something extra you could sip on in between beers." You nodded your head toward Thor, who sat a few seats down, pouring a splash of Asgardian something from a flask into Steve's tumbler.

Bucky quirked an eyebrow. "Is that so? Maybe I'll take him up on that." The super soldier got up and, squeezing your hand, made his way over to Thor, who gladly poured a generous splash of spirits into Bucky's glass of bourbon.

You watched him for a moment as he sat and drank with Steve and Thor, a warm feeling building in your chest at the sight of him looking and doing so well. He'd made so much progress since he first arrived at the Tower and you were unbelievably proud of him.

"You've been good for him, Pocket," Sam offered with a raise of his glass. "But I gotta know, when are you two gonna stop tip-toeing around each other and make things official?"

You let out an agonized groan. "Not you, too, Sam. Why don't you and Natty get together and write some fanfic about it? That's about as close to reality as it'll get."

"What are Wilson and I collaborating to write smutty fanfiction about?" Natasha asked as she sat down in Bucky's vacated seat, passing you a shot glass.

"Za nashu druzhbu!" You toasted in unison before downing the sweet liquid. To our friendship!

"A Redheaded Slut shot? How very Natasha," you teased.

"Don't try to change the subject," Sam interjected. "Romanoff: (Y/L/N) and Barnes. They go together like Netflix and chill or what?"

Natasha's eyes lit up. "Absolutely! Oh my God; I'm so glad you see it, too. They're just screaming 'Let's fuck already,' right?!"

"I don't know that they haven't started already," Sam said, obviously pleased to finally have someone to talk about this with. "I've never seen Metalhead as content as when he's with Pocket. Figure she's gotta be doing something to keep a smile on his face, if you know what I mean." He waggled his eyebrows, setting Natasha off into a barking laugh.

"Jesus Christ, Sam!" you sputtered. "I'm sitting right fucking here!"

Sam gave you a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Baby Girl. 'M just calling it like I see it. And with you and Barnes, I see it."

"She's going to stick to the story that nothing's going on between them," Nat began.

"Because there is nothing going on between us," you interrupted.

"But I think we all know something is brewing between those two," she continued, as if you hadn't said a thing. "I mean, do you really think they're just sleeping in the same bed every night?"

"Hold up, hold up." Sam raised his hand to stop Nat. "You're telling me those two share a bed? How long has this been going on and why am I just hearing about it now?"

"Oh my god," you said, putting your head in your hands and wishing the floor would open up and suck you into a hell dimension. It had to be better than sitting here listening to the two of them talk as if weren't in the room.

"You didn't know?!" Nat's expression was incredulous. "Essentially since the moment Barnes moved into the Tower. They alternate whose bed they sleep in, but it's literally every. single. night."

"That's it," you murmured, though you were sure they weren't paying you any attention, "I am never telling you another thing, ever, Natalia." They weren't embarrassing you, per se. You felt no shame about your closeness with Bucky. It was more that you hated that they were making assumptions about him. You could take ones made about you; you'd been doing that your entire life, but Bucky was different. He was... fragile wasn't the right word, but it came close. You wanted to protect him from everything negative, including your friends gossiping about his alleged sex life.

"Guys, please," you said, loud enough to catch their attention. "I know that, whatever I say, it's not going to convince you that I'm telling you the truth, but I don't want Bucky to hear it, okay? You're just going to make him uncomfortable and he'll retreat into himself, close up. So, save it for when you're by yourselves, alright?"

The sincerity in your words caused Sam and Nat's gazes to soften as they looked at you. You hoped that, despite their ribbing, they understood that your concern for your shared friend was genuine, and that, of the three of you sitting at the table, you knew Bucky best.

"Alright," said Sam, "I'll drop it. For now. But know I've got my eye on you, Pocket." He gave you a shrewd look. "Don't think you can keep your secret from Ole Sammy forever."

You shook your head, annoyingly amused.

The evening moved on pleasantly: conversation and alcohol flowed, and you felt yourself loosening up as the shots you'd drank with Natasha worked their way through your system until you were sporting a pleasant buzz. Bucky eventually came back to join you at your table, eyes glassy and with a giant, dopey grin plastered across his face.

"How's that Asgardian liquor treating you, Buckaroo?" you asked him with a grin of your own, knowing full well he was sauced.

"'s real good, Pocket," he slurred, propping his head on his fist and gazing at you with a dreamy expression. "'s nice and tingly, like the sun is shining on my insides."

"I'm happy for you, Buck," you said with a laugh, shooting an amused glance over Bucky's head to Nat, who responded with a smirk of her own. "That's real good."

He put his arms around you and pulled you into him, almost tugging you off of your chair in the process. "No! You're real good. Sho good to me, all warm and fuzzy and pretty. Just wanna keep touchin' you, you know? 'Cause you make me think of happy things." He paused to nuzzle his face into your hair. "You're m'favorite person."

"You're my favorite person, too, Buck," you said, stifling a giggle, amused by this new soft, silly side of him.

"Me?" he squeaked--actually squeaked. You nodded and then let out a surprised squeal as he pulled you into his lap, holding you almost tight enough to be uncomfortable, his metal arm clinging you to his chest. But then he pulled his head back to look you in the eye, his face suddenly serious.

He slurred, leaning in closer. You could smell the sweet scent of the Asgardian liquor on his breath. "Don'tcha dare tell Stevie, though, doll" he hiccupped, "'cause he'd be real put out if he found out I was your fav'rite."

"Well, then we won't tell him," you assured him, casting a bewildered glance to Nat. She subtly shook her head, as if to say she was just as confused as you as to why Steve would care if Bucky was your favorite person.

Bucky nodded solemnly. "Good. Don't want 'im feelin' bad, but 'm not sorry. 'S not my fault, either. He had ages and he didn't do nuthin'. That's on 'im. Not on me, not on you. On 'im." He began petting your hair in long strokes, seemingly distracted by the feel of it and losing his original train of thought. "Mmmm, you're so pretty. M'pretty little Pocket."

"Why, thank you, my handsome soldier," you replied, tapping him playfully on the nose while wondering what the hell he had been going on about concerning Steve. You hoped he wasn't so drunk that he didn't remember this conversation in the morning, because you were going to press the shit out of him for details.

Oh, but then... the next song from the jukebox caught your attention, and you looked up as the opening bars of Flo Rida's Low filled the air.

"Oh no," moaned Nat with a trace of laughter. "You're gonna dance, aren't you?"

A broad grin broke across your face. You loved dancing to anything, but this song was your kryptonite. "I can't help it," you told her, "it calls me, I come. Let's go!" You stood up, taking Bucky's hand and trying to pull him along with you, but the super soldier just shook his head and refused to move. Apparently he wasn't that drunk. "Fine. Sam, Nat, dance with me."

"I'm coming, Baby Girl," Sam said, taking Nat's hand and dragging her to meet you.

As soon as you had the space, you began to move, the music pulsing through your veins, syncing perfectly with your heartbeat. You swayed your hips in time with the infectious rhythm, your body moving effortlessly to the beat.

You felt Sam come up behind you, placing his hands on your hips as he began to dance with you, bass thumping in your chests. You and Sam had danced together countless times before; he was one of the only ones in the Tower who enjoyed dancing as much as you did, so the two of you had had plenty of practice moving together. Your movements may have been completely innocent, but they gave the appearance of something much more intimate-- it was just the nature of the dance. You could feel the heat of Sam's body pressed against your back, the way his hands gripped your hips protectively. It was all in good fun, a playful dance between friends, until you felt Sam's hands fly from your waist as you were about to get low.

You spun around, finding Bucky standing where Sam had been just a few seconds before, Sam now several feet away, anger wearing heavy on his face.

"What the hell, man?" Sam barked at Bucky. "What'd you shove me for?"

Bucky, his face flushed and eyes narrowed with a combination of intoxication and something dark, took a step towards Sam. "Didn't shove ya, Wilson," he slurred, his words blending together. "Ya just...got in the way."

"Got in the way? Man, we were just dancing. How was I in your way?"

Bucky's jaw clenched, his metal arm flexing by his side. The atmosphere shifted, thick with tension, as if the air in the room had suddenly turned molasses-slow.

"Okay, boys." You stepped between them, hands down and palms open, trying to create as much distance between the two as possible. The last thing you wanted was a drunken argument devolving into some kind of brawl. "It's getting late, and we've all had a good amount to drink." You gave Sam a pointed glance. "Bucky, will you take me home to the Tower? I'm pretty tired and I think I'm ready to call it a night."

Sam nodded in understanding-- it would be a hell of a lot easier to get Bucky home in his current state if he thought he was escorting you, instead of the other way around.

"Yeah, 'course, Pocket," Bucky said, his eyes softening as he looked at you. You were able to call out your goodnights to the rest of the team and, leaving instructions with Nat to close out your tab at the end of the night, began making your way to the door. Bucky stumbled a bit, his balance compromised by the alcohol in his system. You wrapped an arm around him, steadying him as you both made your way outside.

Outside the bar, the cool night air was a welcome relief from the noisy atmosphere inside. Bucky leaned heavily against you, his arm draped around your shoulders for support.

"Fuck, Barnes. You're heavy," you groaned under his weight.

"Fuck me, Pocket," he slurred, head tilting to the side. There was that look in his eyes again. The same one you'd seen the day he'd gotten his new arm. You couldn't identify it, but it made the hair on your arms stand up straight.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I said." You could feel his warmth seeping through your clothes, his presence comforting even in his intoxicated state.

"You good to stand on your own for a second, soldier?" you asked him. "I need to hail us a cab."

Bucky nodded and you carefully eased yourself out from under his arm, scanning the street for a taxi. The bustling city night was alive with lights and sounds, creating a tapestry of urban energy that seemed to match the frequency of the electricity that ran through your brain.

God, did you love this city.

As you raised your hand to flag down a cab, you couldn't help but steal glances at Bucky, his hair in disarray, falling into his eyes and his lips slightly parted as he breathed in the cool night air. Even drunk and disheveled, he still looked so handsome. There was a softness to him in the moment that made him look younger, and for a second, you could imagine that beautiful, carefree young man who had been drafted to cross the sea to fight someone else's war, and had paid for it with even more than his life.

A taxi screeched to a stop in front of you, interrupting your reverie. You hurriedly opened the door and helped Bucky inside, sliding in beside him. The cab driver gave you both a curious glance before pulling away from the curb. Once you gave him the address to Avengers Tower, that look got more and more frequent as he kept checking his rear view mirror.

"Hey, eyes on the road, buddy," you snapped at him, probably putting more aggression into your voice than you had intended, but the way the cab driver was looking at the two of you made you uneasy.

The ride back to the Tower was quiet, the low hum of the taxi's engine serving as a backdrop to the thoughts swirling in your mind. Bucky slumped against you, his head resting on your shoulder as he dozed off. You gently ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the softness of it against your skin. The city lights blurred past outside the window, casting a hazy glow over both of you.

"Listen," the cabbie eventually began in his thick New Jersey accent, "sweetheart, ya seem like a nice girl, but I don't think ya know what you're dealin' with, here. That man right there's the Winter Soldier. He's a murderer, a nasty one. The kind that likes to take a sweet thing like you and do horrible things."

You rolled your eyes. If they were going to keep telling stories about the Winter Soldier, the least they could do was get the details right instead of making him sound like Ted Fucking Bundy.

"This nasty murderer is my best friend," you said, each word clipped and infused with the anger you felt on Bucky's behalf. "So, maybe you should stick with getting us to our destination instead of trying to lecture me on something you know absolutely nothing about."

The cabbie fell silent, his eyes darting nervously between the road ahead and the rearview mirror. You could tell that he was regretting his decision to say anything, realizing that he had struck a nerve. Or, you thought with an amused chuckle, afraid that you were just as nasty as the Winter Soldier. But you couldn't blame him entirely. The reputation of the Winter Soldier was notorious, and it was only natural for people to be cautious. You just wished they knew the name Bucky Barnes, and the actual man, himself, just as well.

You sighed and shifted your gaze to Bucky, still unconscious against your shoulder. It wasn't fair, you thought, how people judged him solely based on his past. Yes, there were dark chapters in his history, but he had fought tooth and nail to regain control over his life. He had redeemed himself in countless ways even before he had officially joined the Avengers.

As the taxi approached Avengers Tower, you leaned over and gently shook Bucky awake. His eyes fluttered open, confusion etched in his features for a brief moment before recognition set in.

"We're home, Buck," you whispered softly, trying to soothe away any lingering unease from your brief conversation with the cab driver. "Let's get you upstairs." You threw a handful of bills in the cabbie's direction, not even bothering to wait for him to give you your change; you just wanted out of his cab and away from his prejudice.

Bucky nodded, rubbing sleep from his eyes. With your help, he stumbled out of the taxi and leaned on you for support as you made your way into the building.

"'m sorry 'bout that, doll," he drawled as you passed the security desk, sending a quick wave to the night guard.

"Sorry for what, Buck?" you asked him. He was silent as you made your way to the elevator bay, waiting until you had pressed the button to summon the elevator car.

"'bout the cabbie." He avoided looking at you while you waited, and it was like a punch to your gut-- he'd heard everything that ignorant man had said. The elevator doors dinged open and you helped usher him inside.

You took a deep breath as you pressed the button for your floor, the retinal scanner making quick work to prove your identity and verify your security clearance. "Buck," you exhaled, "you have nothing to apologize for. That man was an asshole and an idiot."

Bucky leaned back against the elevator wall, his head thumping against the cool metal. "But he was right. I am a nasty murderer."

You could scream. You could strangle that cabbie with your bare hands. Bucky had been doing so well, had been having such a good night, and one person's careless remark had ruined all of it.

"Barnes," you said, turning to face him. "Look at me. Do you think I'm stupid?"

His eyes grew wide at the insinuation, even in his drunk state, he was with it enough to be taken aback by your question. "'bsolutely not, doll. You're the smartest person I know. Smarter than Stark, even, 'cause you can admit when your wrong." The compliment left you trying to hide a smile.

"Okay. Do you trust my judgment?"

"With my life," he breathed. The elevator opened to your floor, and you helped Bucky out into the hall and down the corridor toward his room. The soft glow of the hallway lights illuminated his features, casting a warm, intimate aura around the two of you.

"So, if I'm not stupid and you trust my judgment, trust me when I tell you are not what that man says you are. You are a good man who had too many horrible things happen to him. And despite all those horrible things, you are still the kindest, funniest, most gentle man that I know."

As you reached his door, Bucky turned to face you, his eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability. "Thank you, Pocket. Thank you for taking care of me, and for being my friend," he murmured, his voice hoarse with exhaustion and emotion.

A small smile played on your lips. "Always, Buck," you replied softly. "Now let's get you inside."

With a gentle push, you opened the door to his room and guided him over to his bed. Bucky collapsed onto the mattress with a heavy sigh, his body sinking into the softness beneath him. Once you'd pulled off his boots, you knelt down beside him, tucking the blanket around his shoulders.

As you straightened up, Bucky reached out and grabbed your hand, his grip surprisingly strong despite his intoxicated state. His gaze locked with yours, a mix of vulnerability and longing flickering in his eyes.

"I don't want you to leave," he whispered, his voice laced with a hint of desperation.

"I'm just going to hop over to my room to change into pajamas," you assured him. "I'll be right back. Promise." You smoothed his hair, trying to tame it from where it stood up in all directions.

"'kay," he said through a yawn, "but don't take too long. I got somethin' I need to tell ya. 's important."

"Okay," you told him, planting a kiss on his head. "I'll be just a minute." You hurried across the hall to your own room, changing into your pajamas and brushing your teeth in record time.

Re-entering Bucky's room, you were extremely curious as to what he'd wanted to say to you. "Alright, Buckaroo, I'm back. What did you--"

You smiled to yourself. Bucky was fast asleep, light snores emanating from him as he lay sprawled across the bed. You couldn't help but find him adorable in his slumber, especially with his hair sticking up in all directions.

With a soft sigh, you walked over to the side of the bed and gently sat down, watching Bucky's peaceful face. It was moments like these that reminded you of how much he had been through, how much pain and loss he had experienced. Despite his tough exterior, there was a vulnerability about him that tugged at your heartstrings.

You leaned in closer, unable to resist the urge to brush a stray lock of hair away from his forehead. Your fingers lingered on his skin for a moment longer than necessary, feeling the warmth radiating from him. The desire to protect and comfort him overwhelmed you, making your heart ache with affection, and something else that you couldn't quite identify.

Pulling down the covers, you climbed into bed next to him, snuggling up to his body for warmth. He grunted and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. It wasn't long before you drifted off into a slumber of your own.

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

[thisismeracing]

King of my heart | MS47 | part. 18

Pairing: mick schumacher x hamilton!reader (she/her)

Warnings: curse words, mentions of food and alcohol, tooth-rotting fluff, angsty, mentions of anxiety and break up, not proofread, etc, etc. Minors DNI!

word count: 3.3k

part. 17 | series masterlist | part 19 | taglist

Summary: Mick Schumacher rode a lousy wave for quite some time, so when the sky gets cleaner and the sun brighter he just knows something terrible may be in store for him. Whereas y/n was just so magnetic, and the possibilities of life with her seemed better than anything his mind could ever create, that’s why, for the first time in forever, he threw caution carelessly through the window, hoping to get to the finish line before it catches up on him.

A/n: Thank you so so much for all the love and support! I see you, and I appreciate you! *mwah* I hope you guys like this chapter, I may have shed some tears while writing it hehe I'll release the next one TOMORROW so you better get readyyy!

When Yn knocked at Lewis’ door he wasn’t expecting to see her with a running nose and teary eyes. In fact, he wasn’t expecting to see her. She was supposed to be at her apartment getting ahead with some work because she had dinner plans with Mick, that’s what the German had told Lewis earlier that day. 

“Hey, bitsy, what happened?” the Brit asked, confusion and worry lacing his tone. 

Yn could only crash into her brother’s frame, being engulfed in a tight hug and letting out some of the pain and anxiety she had been holding back. He knew how hard it was for her to let herself be vulnerable, which meant she reached her breaking point.

“I broke up with Mick,” she sobbed into his shirt, and Lewis took a step back to look into her eyes, holding her face between his hands.

“What did he do?” 

And though Mick had come to be a close friend of his with the shared routine in the Mercedes team, Lewis wouldn’t think twice before distancing himself if he had done something to hurt his little sister. Mick knew it. Everyone knew it. That’s the reason he was so taken back the second he noticed the lingering touches and secret stares. It wouldn’t be hard taking sides, but it would certainly hurt doing so. 

Yn shook her head, more tears doting her black skin, “Nothing, he did nothing wrong-” a hiccup passed between her lips. “Someone posted about me and Mason, and suddenly the whole internet is talking about the two, and me, and our personal lives and- Lew, they have pictures! There are pictures of me and Mason around the internet.”

Lewis closed the door behind her and guided his sister to his couch. Roscoe came running to her too and it wasn’t long before the three were cuddled in silence, the only sounds being Yn’s sniffs and sighs. 

He knew not to pressure her too much, knowing that she needed some time to breathe before finally speaking about everything, or most things, that were going through her head. Lewis was worried about Mick too, but he would check on his friend later, for now, his sister was his priority and she needed him, all his love and attention.

It was an hour or so before the sniffs stopped and Lewis noticed that Yn had fallen asleep, she was probably tired from all the crying and stress she had been dealing with lately, and the outing of her past relationship with soccer player Mason Mount was the icing on the cake. Lewis peeled his body off of hers with caution not to disturb her peace and reached for his phone seeing tons of messages from a worried Mick asking if he knew something about Yn’s whereabouts. He quickly answered reassuring the German that she was safe and with him, and added for him to be patient with her. Yn loved Mick, it was a fact.

Lewis ordered from their favorite place and got some of her favorite clothes his for her to wear after a long and much-needed relaxing shower. He gave Roscoe his food, and while the dog ate everything eagerly, he opened Twitter and Instagram seeing how the internet was indeed going crazy about Yn, Mick, and Mason. It was crazy how people felt entitled to someone else’s personal life. 

Assuming that Yn probably didn’t have the time and the energy to do something, Lew stepped onto his terrace, closing the door behind him and calling the family’s lawyer. He had no idea how those pictures ended up on the internet, or how his sister’s past relationship got exposed, but he was gonna make sure whoever did it would be held accountable for it. He wanted to call Mason too, to ask if he had any idea about anything, how he would handle it from his side, but that was too personal, that was something only Yn should do. 

After the food arrived, and Yn showered, the siblings sat on the living room’s floor to eat, a ritual they used to share whenever they could since their early teen years. Yn nibbled on her food, not eating the way she would when her favorite was on the table, she felt a lump in her throat, it was like she was trying to swallow back her own heart and by doing so she couldn’t try and put anything else there. Lewis noticed and used the moment to try and make her open up a bit, and share her burden with him. And that she did. She poured her heart out, cried again, sobbed again, and confessed to him how stressed she was ever since everyone discovered she was his sister, to which she was quick to apologize too because that wasn’t a problem, but rather how people started treating her was the real issue. Yn loved being a Hamilton, loved sharing the same blood as Lewis, loved having him around as her best friend, loved to share her happy and sad days with him, but she hated how everyone seemed to compare them now, how Yn wasn’t Yn anymore but “Lewis Hamilton’s younger sister” or even “Mick Schumacher’s supposed girlfriend” and not in a contextual way, but rather derogatory, like trying to diminish her and who she was, to resume her to two men. And fair enough, she loved them, she loved them both so much, but she was her own person, she loved herself before loving them. And maybe, Yn thought, she just needed to get used to having her brother mentioned every time, just like her relationship with Mick, but adding Mason to it? Adding Mason to it was cruel. 

She confided in her brother all the things that had been plaguing her mind, and Lewis listened attentively, catching a tear from her here and there with his thumb, and nodding attentively. He was a good listener. He was the best brother, Yn told him. 

That night they watched TV until falling asleep on the couch with Roscoe by their feet. Something they used to do when they were kids and the days were so packed that they didn’t have much time together, Yn would sneak into his room, they would make a tent with Lewis’ comforter, and turn on the TV on the low volume so that their parents wouldn’t wake up, and they would watch Disney movies until both passed out. Life used to be easier at the time. 

When Lewis had to start the hectic schedule for Silverstone weekend Yn went to her parents. She spent a week sleeping in her old bedroom, having every possible meal with her parents, and enjoying the hugs, kisses, and pampering from them. They couldn’t mend their heart back together, but while there it felt like they could glue it for some minutes. It would fall to pieces in the ground when she lay awake in bed at night, but when the sun shined through the windows and her dad woke her up so they could cook pancakes together while The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill played as background sound some of the pieces of her heart would flutter closer. 

The second week was about to start when she got a call from Corinna. She cried when she heard the woman’s voice. The accent is so like Mick’s. The sweet and warm tone. Corinan asked Yn if she wanted to spend some time in Switzerland with her. It was a calm place, she wouldn’t be bothered by too many paparazzi, she could go off from social media, they would have tons of activities to do if she felt like it, and Gina would even fly there for the weekend. So Yn packed her bags, and by Monday afternoon she was in Switzerland. 

Yn cried again when Corinna hugged her, told her how sorry she was for hurting Mick, and tried to explain everything, but the older woman just shook her head and hugged Yn together, assuring her that she wouldn’t judge, that she did not blame Yn. Life was complicated, but Corinna seemed to be sure that Yn and Mick would find a way out of the storm they were facing, and she made sure to tell Yn that. Without pressure, of course. In fact, they agreed on not talking a lot about Mick or her relationship, but it turned out that was a hard subject to avoid because Corinna made her feel safe and comfortable enough to want to talk, and everything at that house screamed his name. So much so, that Yn wandered around on her first night and ended up in his childhood bedroom, watching some of his trophies, posters, books, and toys. Yn fell asleep curled on his bed, hugging his pillow.

The coming days were good. Corinna distracted her the same way her parents would. Yn taught the German some of her vegan recipes, and Corinna seemed to like them. They would cook breakfast together, share tea by the garden, feed the horses, and solve crosswords while eating dinner. 

After two weeks in Switzerland Yn went back to her apartment in London. She wasn’t exactly ready for the remainder of Mick at her home, yet she needed to work through whatever was plaguing her mind, she needed to recenter so that she could face him again. She knew the way they broke up wasn’t fair to him, knew that they would have to talk again eventually, either for closure or to get back together. 

At the door, his slides were the first thing to greet her, then his smell that plagued the whole apartment. By her couch, there was one of Angie’s toys, in her room his shirt she used to sleep with, some of his clothes inside her closet, his toothbrush beside hers, his shampoo, little things that got there gradually. Some of them she still remembers the exact moment. The feeling of tranquility coming home with him and knowing his things were there too. 

Yn kept everything intact: all his things inside her house. All the feelings inside her chest. 

She went back to her routine, working, seeing her friends, trying to enjoy a bit of the privacy that was still left after she deactivated most of her socials. Except, now she wasn’t joining and cheering for her brother in person during the weekends, but rather watching everything from her couch. Sometimes, those weekends would be shared with Lewis’ friends and her friends as well, the ones that couldn’t make it to the GPs too. 

When September Yn was ready for the launch of her winter collection. She was also ready to be in the same room as Mick, or so she thought, she had to be especially because her team had sent invitations for the whole Schumacher family and she had a feeling he wouldn’t miss it. 

Sure enough there he was, and though they couldn’t exchange more than a longing stare and a friendly wave, Yn felt everything she kept tamed inside burst out in the open. She busied herself with the parade and all the little details that needed her attention, and because she was the main name tonight she wasn’t able to speak to everyone. Though, what would she say to the Schumachers? “Thank you for coming! And, Mick, I miss you, maybe I owe you an apology”, well maybe that’s exactly what she should have said, but the rush didn’t let her. Maybe that’s why Yn was surprised when everything was over and someone from the staff came with a bouquet of tulips. 

It wasn’t anything new, she usually gets a ton of flowers during parades, and events in general, from fans to the crew she’s working with, but she never got tulips, and her heart skipped a beat, hands slightly trembling when she reached for it, and opened the envelope between the beautiful flowers. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a proper congratulations and hug. I’m really proud of you – today, and always. I’ll be here when you’re ready. - Your Mickey”

Yn knew exactly what ready meant. 

And she also knew how meaningful it was of him to sign as her Mick. Not Mick Schumacher, or simply Mick, or anything, but “your Mick”. The version of him only she knew. A pair of tears rolled down her cheeks just when Lewis reached the door of her dressing room.

Yn looked at her brother silently, and he gave her one of his small smiles. 

“You should text him,” the Brit suggests.

“How do you know I’m thinking about him?” 

Lewis shrugs, draping his body on the blue couch, “You two went to see a field of tulips in Switzerland, right?” She nodded, and before she could joke about his memory Lewis added, “But that’s not how I know, he actually told me he would do it. Even asked me if I thought it was ok for him to show up.”

“Oh-” she utters. “I’m- I- I exposed him, put him in the spot. Mick is a super private guy, Lew, and I kind of blew everything up,” she sighs, knowing damn well she’s repeating the vent session they had back the other month. 

“He told you he doesn’t care, didn’t he?” Lewis asks and Yn nods, biting her lips. “I think that’s proof enough that he’s ready to compromise if it means having you. That’s huge, Yn. He’s ready to give up part of his private life to stay with you, and not as in sacrificing himself and all this red flag thing, but as in: he thinks you’re more important. He loves you, can’t you see?” 

“I’m still scared,” she confesses.

“Fuck being afraid, bitsy, do it anyways. If you let fear stop you, you’ll never fully live,” it’s his older brother's advice. “Besides,” Lewis adds, “You think he isn’t? He’s probably scared shit too, and that’s yet another reason why you should talk, dot it together because if you have one another the burden gets lighter – if there’s even one.”

She rolls her eyes, they’re full of tears ready to fall, and they do the second she smiles dropping her shoulders. Yn nods to Lewis, and when everything is packed and they’re walking on the parking lot to their respective cars parked side by side, her phone pings. 

Lewis winks her way with a smile when she turns the screen to him. It’s Mick. 

“Good luck, bitsy. I’ll be at home if you need me, and I’ll back you up on whatever you choose to do,” he takes off some of the weight from her shoulders. 

Yn hugs him tight and whispers how much she loves him and how lucky she is to be a Hamilton. She listened to her heart and only her heart, trying to ignore whatever her mind wanted to rationalize, and whatever others would think, while she typed away on her phone. 

After indirectly inviting him to dinner, she drives all the way to her apartment with a grin on her face and feeling all warm and fuzzy after feeling cold and sad for so long.  

The second her doorbell rang, Yn stopped pacing around her living room and ran to the entrance, already feeling her hands shaking slightly. 

“Hey,” Mick breathed with a small smile on his face when Yn showed up behind the wooden door. He was holding another bouquet, this time red carnations. Yn’s greetings got stuck in her throat. Mick looked just so good wearing blue jeans paired with a dark green hoodie. His eyes did not leave her, quite the contrary, he drank her in, blue orbs roaming around each small detail. For him, Yn looked just perfect. 

“I-” Mick started to fill the silence after a minute, but before he could keep going Yn crashed into him, taking a deep breath and lacing her hands around his neck. He held her closer by the waist and inhaled her perfume, feeling his heart speed so fast it felt like he was racing around his favorite circuit. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. Sorry, I made you wait. Sorry-,” Yn whispered with a voice so small he could only hear because her face was between his neck and shoulder. He detached their bodies just enough to hold her by the jaw, eyes scanning the tears slowly descending her cheeks. 

Mick shook his head, “I should have come after you before. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Yn sobbed, letting her forehead hit his solid chest, and trying to take deep breaths to control her own heart, “No, babe, you gave me my time, you gave me space, and I love you for that.” 

It was his turn to let some tears fall. Mick was a smart guy, he knew how to be rational, but it did not mean that he knew how to control each emotion of his. Quite the opposite, from time to time he let his feelings lead the way. He can feel insecure and overthink just like any human being. The thing is, that while they were away, he took his time to work on it. Work on himself. Look in the mirror and understand he was doing the right thing by kicking the ball to her court. There was nothing he could do but wait. And waiting he did. 

Now, looking into her eyes, he wonders why he waited so long, how he spent every day for over two months without her. But the second those three little words passed between her plump lips he knew it hadn’t been for nothing. Knew that life was gifting his patient.

“Can you find it in you to forgive me?” she asked, still glued to his body.

He chuckled, “Schatzi, there’s nothing to forgive. And even if there was, you know I would. I would do anything for you because I love you. I love you in every language, the ones I know and the ones I don’t. I love you like my best friend, my favorite person, my lover. I love you like I never did before.”

It was the first time she heard him say those three little words, and they hit her like a truck, rearranging every organ in her body, and making her heart grow ten times bigger. Making her flutter, and come down at the same time. But for the first time, she wasn’t worried about falling, he would be there to catch her. Or they would fall together. Always together. Either way, she chose him. She chose to give love a chance. To give herself a chance at happiness. And when his lips found hers after so long it felt like everything came together. It was sweet, and salty with their tears. It was soft, and hungry, demanding attention and trying to make up for the lost time. It was like a king coming back from war for his queen. Stating that he was more alive than ever. That he wouldn’t leave. That his promise to come back was true. Burning cheeks, sweaty palms, warm chest, tingly stomach, it was like meeting each other for the first time all over again. 

When Yn’s hands sneaked under Mick’s hoodie, brushing over his bare skin, he smiled into the kiss, taking the seconds to breathe in some air.

“We still have to talk. I still have so much explaining to do,” Yn started.

“And you have to tell me about your time in Switzerland without me, mama said you rode the horses with G and even planted a new three.” 

She grinned. A bright expression doting her whole face.

“I’ll do it over dinner. Come, the food is getting cold,” Yn laced their fingers bringing him inside, and Mick enjoyed the feeling of truly crossing the line of her heart. He knew that this time entering her house meant so much more. It meant a green card for entering her heart and staying. And he would do it. 

They would make a home out of each other. What they were not yet aware of was that the home was already there. All they had to do was get inside. 

And they had just done it. 

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: We're so close to reaching the ending, I'm getting emotional ugh!! I hope you guys liked this chapter, I opted to let some details out of the plate, so let me know if you want them (like their dinner conversation and all) and I'll see if I can write an extra <3 make sure to reblog this chapter if you like it. I'll be releasing the next one tomorrow, and all I want to say is to make sure your seatbelts are on. *mwah*

taglist: @sachaa-ff @ferrariloverr @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @fdl305 @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @shhhchriss @smiithys @f1kota @lunnnix @leclercsluv @baby-is-crying @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @v1naco @dearxcherry @p8dris @heelariously @peachiicherries @elliegrey2803 @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @thatgibbsygirl @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @minkyungseokie @nichmeddar @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye

⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

© All rights reserved to thisismeracing on Tumblr

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Lucky Break Prologue

Yandere Straw Hats x fem!Reader

5k words

I finally got this done, boy did it take longer than I had planned. I’ve worked hard on this and will continue to, so I hope everyone who takes the time to read this enjoys it! This fic is for the most part going to feature platonic yanderes, and the reader insert does use she/her pronouns.

There isn’t much One Piece stuff in this chapter, but there will be in the next.

Next

When you’re a kid, everything seems so simple. You look around at the world around you and assume you know exactly how your life is going to go. After you finish high school, you’ll go to college and study for a major of your choosing. Immediately upon graduation, you’ll get a job in your desired field, and have a prosperous career to be proud of. Somewhere along the way, you’ll get married, maybe have some kids, and eventually enjoy a comfortable retirement where you will look back on your life with nothing but pride!

Yeah right. What a joke.

If provided with the opportunity to go back in time, you would kick your child-self’s ass for her naivety and optimism. How dare she foolishly get her own hopes up for a good and easy life. 

Okay, so maybe you’re a little bitter, but who could blame you? Who isn’t disappointed with how at least one aspect of their life is going? It’s perfectly normal. Though, admittedly, for you it was wayyyy more than one aspect. 

For starters, your job sucked. Not an uncommon complaint, but one that wore you down dramatically. Being a waitress was hell, but what could you do? You need money to live just like anyone else. Not that you were making much, not if the late fees were anything to go off.

You couldn’t get a better job because the more desirable jobs were all long since taken. Well, what few jobs you could apply for given the lack of a college degree. Oh yeah, you’re a college drop out. Much to the intense disappointment of your parents. They kicked you out when you told them and have hardly spoken to you since. 

Seriously though, what did they want you to do? Keep going to school in hopes that you’ll magically figure out what you want to and go into horrible debt in the meantime? It’s easy to tell someone to keep going to college when you're not the one paying for it. You don’t understand how you’re the bad guy for not wanting to take your student loans to the grave.

It didn’t help that the friends you had have all slowly fallen out of contact with you since you moved away. You thought that maybe starting new somewhere else would be refreshing, foolishly not realizing how difficult making new friends as an adult is. You had some coworkers that you go along with well enough. They had even talked about meeting up outside of work to just hang out, but these plans never fully came to fruition thanks to conflicting schedules. 

Whatever. Dwelling on it isn’t going to help you. You need to focus on the here and now.

Currently, you were on a bus, and not to go to work this time. No, you were going to indulge yourself tonight with a little urban exploration. Today’s target was a somewhat recently abandoned mall. It’s been closed for around a year now, long enough for retailers to take what they wanted and for cops to be beginning to lose interest in constantly patrolling it. It was still under surveillance, but nothing you didn’t know how to navigate. 

You spent a couple weeks scoping out the place, a nearby cafe made it easy to do so without raising suspicion. There wasn’t any on site security to worry about, you just had to keep an eye out for the occasional cop car that would drive by. They only stopped to investigate if there was a car in the parking lot near the building. This wouldn’t be a problem for you given your lack of a personal vehicle.

The plan was straightforward. You’d already identified an entry point while poking around the building at night, an employee only door with a busted lock. It took a bit of elbow grease to jerk it open, but there wasn’t an alarm rigged to it, so it was perfect. All you needed to do was make sure no one spotted you as you went in, and you would be golden.

The bus was slowing to a stop, and it was your turn to get off. Shouldering your backpack, you scooted to the edge of the seat in preparation. As soon as it stopped, you were on your feet and hurrying to the door. The mall was only a couple blocks from here in a rapidly failing part of the city. The only businesses around there were the aforementioned cafe and a couple of thrift stores. Fortunately, your way in was facing away from those stores. As long as a cop wasn’t driving by as you snuck in, no one would see you.

As you made your way there, you could feel the excitement setting in. You didn’t have much in your life to look forward to, this was one of the few things that made you feel alive. The thrill of getting in and out without being caught was addictive if you were being completely honest with yourself.

There were other pros to it, too. Sometimes you got lucky and found something valuable that you could pawn. A forgotten piece of jewelry, a dropped phone, some abandoned tools, you never knew what you were going to find. Even if you didn’t find anything, it was fun to be able to explore an old building with no one around. It gave you this sense of adventure your life was otherwise devoid of.

Granted, there were risks. Cops being the biggest one. Having a criminal record sounded less than ideal to you. There was also the concern raised by the fact that you did this completely alone. If something went wrong and you got seriously hurt, no one would be likely to find out until it was too late. That, and the threat of encountering someone dangerous.

So far, you’ve gotten lucky, only ever personally running into a couple of other urban explorers that were fortunately perfectly nice. There had been a few other close calls, but you were able to avoid detection those times. Your mom used to harp on this, saying one of these days you would get killed or kidnapped while doing this. Maybe she was right, but you couldn’t say you cared that much.

At least you wouldn’t have to go to your next shift!

You shook your head at the depressing thought. It’s not good to think that way, even if it was how you felt.

The mall was just ahead now, you looked around the parking lot for any indicators that anyone else was here. Nothing. It was completely empty. Good. Despite your excitement, you keep your pace casual, not wanting to attract attention.

Taking a cursory glance around, you don’t see any cop cars on patrol. You’re officially out of sight of the nearby businesses, so you shift into a power walk, wanting to get inside quickly while no one is around. You put on some disposable gloves and also pull a facemask out of your pocket and fasten it onto your face. Partially in case the air is bad, but also to protect yourself in case there are any security cameras.

The door takes a good few pulls to open up, but that’s fine. You do one more look around, and upon seeing nothing, you go in. The second the door shuts, you’re thrown into darkness. You fish a flashlight out of your backpack and click it on. It became immediately apparent that you were not the first person to discover this way in, the walls were already covered in graffiti. That and there were some heroin needles on the ground. You know, the usual signs of life.

You carefully make your way down the hall, trying to make your way into the main part of the mall. The air was musky, the smell easily cutting through your mask. It was far from pleasant, but you’ve smelled worse. At least you weren’t smelling any shit (yet).

The door at the end of the hall was easier to open than the last, no resistance at all. You peek out, looking for anything concerning before stepping out. There was natural light coming in from some sliding glass doors nearby. Looks like this place used to be a Macy’s or something like that. Lingering near the glass doors wouldn’t be a good idea, so you hurry off away from it. Once you’re in the main part of the mall you shouldn’t have to worry about being spotted from the outside.

The former maybe-macy’s was picked clean, they didn’t leave anything behind besides the counters and some flyers advertising a long since past sale. No shelves, no mannequins that would give you a heart attack if you saw them out of the corner of your eye, nothing. 

Outlets in malls were typically very thorough when cleaning out after closing, you doubt you’ll find anything valuable here unless some other explorer left something behind. Oh well. You do this more for the experience than anything.

You found the way out pretty quick and took in the sight of the abandoned mall. Even after being closed for a year, it still had a certain beauty to it. The research you did on the mall told you it was built in the early 70’s and the architecture reflected it. The ceiling had a quirky pattern to it, with blocks of it being solid and other blocks being glass to let natural light in. 

There was also an artsy metal structure that climbed all the way up to the second floor, and a big water fountain that acted as the centerpiece. Granted, all of this was decorated with a layer of broken glass from the shattered guardrails on the second floor, but still. This kind of decor was rare to see in modern malls, with all of them wanting to be as plain as possible. This was a pleasant change of scenery.

You meandered through the open space, glass crunching under your boots with each step. The escalators were right ahead of you. Like the guardrails, the glass on was also shattered, but that didn’t matter. As long as the stairs were in one piece, you could still climb them. 

You had a specific destination in mind for your visit here. Yes, you would like to see every nook and cranny, but the movie theater was especially exciting. You’ve never been in an abandoned theater before, so you were dying to see it and made a beeline for it.

It was damn near on the opposite side of the building, but that just gave you a chance to see what other places you could check out later. While many people find places like this unsettling at best, you found an odd sense of comfort in it. Part of it was the silence. Provided no one else rocked up, the noisiest thing you would hear would be some birds flying through.

There was also the nostalgia of being in a mall and seeing the familiar, albeit vacated, stores you remember from your childhood. Malls simply aren’t what they used to be, and it’s nice to reminisce on what once was. Sure, it’s not like you could afford to shop at one, but just being able to walk around and window shop was enjoyable. At least you could still do the walking around part even when they’re closed.

As you make your way down the second story walkway, you take note of all the signs of life around you. Lots of spiders have set up shop with massive webs in every corner to make meals of the local insect population. Nests were crammed into the spaces in between letters on the remaining signs, and although you haven’t seen any, there are enough droppings here to indicate the presence of a thriving rodent society. That means there’s probably some stray cats lurking around here, too. You hope you get to see one. There’s a laser pointer on your keyring and some treats in your pockets just for such occasions. 

You look up and are thrilled to finally be at the theater. There are blank rectangles on the wall from where movie posters used to be. The sign that used to display movies and showtimes now simply says closed. Well, technically it says ‘CL S  D’, but you got the drift.

The lobby is surprisingly intact. The ticket and snack counters are both still here, even the glass around the ticket counter was unbroken. Some of the old snack machines still remained, which surprised you. It was faint, but you think you could still pick up on the smell of popcorn. It could also just be a placebo effect but shh. 

You hop over the snack counter to see what’s back there. The first thing you notice is how sticky the floor is, your boots sticking with each step. The remaining machines are in rough shape, but that’s to be expected. The nozzle on one of the slushie machines was snapped clean off, and the doors on the popcorn machine were just gone. You meticulously opened all the drawers and cabinets, hoping to find something interesting. You didn’t. Just some garbage and rat shit. 

Moving on, you head towards the really exciting part. The showing rooms. You can’t help but pick up the pace as you run into one, only to feel a touch disappointed. It was completely gutted. The screen, the chairs, nothing was left. Who the hell even wanted a bunch of old ass movie theater seats? Where did they go?

There was a problem though, the area near where the screen would be was completely flooded. You shine your light up to the ceiling and are baffled that there’s no hole for this much water to leak through. Where the hell did it all come from? It also smelled weirdly fishy? The fish smell was so potent that it almost distracted you from all the mold on the fabric covered walls. Yikes. “N95 mask don’t fail me now,” you mumbled under your breath.

Whatever. Spinning on your heels, you head for the stairs to go to the top of the room. They’re creaky and the carpet is coming off of them in bits and pieces. 

There really wasn’t much of a reason to come up here beyond it just felt like the right thing to do. You decide to peek through the window to the projection room. Surprisingly, it’s very cluttered in there, it almost looks like a storage room. Oh, you’re definitely going to have to go in there!

… But how?

Now that you’re thinking about it, how do you even get inside one of these? It must be behind some sort of staff only door. You hope it’s not locked, there was a lot of stuff in there.

You rush down the stairs, ecstatic at what a good find this was. Once you’re in the hallway, you whip your head around to locate any possible entrance, and you find it. A plain, unmarked door between two of the theater rooms. Bingo. You twist the knob, but it doesn’t budge.

Not bingo.

It’s unlikely that the keys for this door are still here… but you can’t just let this go. After testing the fortitude of the door with a few kicks and yanks, you resolve to look for the key despite the low odds of actually finding it.

The most likely place it would be would be a main office or something. You head back to the lobby, that’s probably where the door to one would be. The beam of your flashlight flits over the surrounding walls in search of a side door.

Some fallen ceiling tiles and wires almost hid it from you, but there it was. You pick up what looks like a snapped off broom handle and use it to push the debris out of the way and keep the wires off you while you try the door, praying that this won’t also be locked. 

It doesn’t turn. Dammit! Out of sheer frustration, you give it a violent shake. It snaps clean off, the knob from the other side loudly clattering to the ground. Looks like your luck is coming back around.

The door still takes a bit of rattling to shake loose the remaining bits of the old locking mechanism, but it finally creaked open. Wasting no time, you hurried in, observing the new area. While it was dirty, it was untouched by graffiti and general vandalism. It’s a simple long hallway with two doors. You get to the first and open it up, greeted by the sight of an old bathroom. 

The mirror above the sink doubles as a medicine cabinet, so you decide to check it out. When you pull it open, the whole door comes right off. Oops. The cabinet in question didn’t have anything interesting in it, only being occupied by a bottle of tums, some nail clippers, and a box of dental floss. Thrilling stuff.

You move on and head for the other door. Surely that has to be the office. The door clicks open again, thank god. You grin to yourself, it is the office. The desk is right in front of you and in good shape, not appearing to have been tampered with this past year. Excellent.

It’s surprisingly clean in here. There is some dust, but not nearly as much as you would have expected. The desk itself is old and made of wood. It honestly looks way too nice to have been left here. The chair is, weirdly enough, not present. What, that was worthy of being taken but not the desk? Whatever. It’s not important.

You’re quick to start rifling through the drawers. Paperwork, pack of gum, more paperwork, some pens, a few paperclips, even more paperwork… it’s not looking good. Your heart is sinking with each passing second. You squat and look under the desk as a last ditch effort. Your light reflects off something. Keys!

There’s a strip of tape attached to them, like someone had taped them to the underside of the desk rather than using one of the drawers. An odd decision, but who cares? These might be the keys you need! 

Not wanting to waste any more time, you run back to the possible projector room door. The key ring has several keys on it, so there’s a bit of trial and error to go through in your attempts to unlock it. Your heart rate steadily picks up as you go through each key with no success. It’s not until the second to last key that you finally hear that much anticipated ‘click’. 

The door is surprisingly heavy, you really have to pull to get it open enough to slip through. It loudly slams shut behind you and you’re met with the sight of two staircases. The room you saw through the window should be on the right. 

The stairs are carpeted but not as worn as the ones in the theater, making them less of a tripping hazard. Dust is being kicked up with each step, you can see clouds of it flying through the air and clinging to cobwebs.

Now you’re at the top and there’s another door. This one wasn’t locked. The room itself honestly resembles a boiler room to you. Pipes and cables were running along the walls, and the walls weren’t painted. There was a table in front of the window where the projector would have been.

That’s not what made you want to see this room though. Shelves were along every wall and they were loaded. You’re gonna need both hands for this. Luckily, you have a lantern type of flashlight in your backpack just for situations like this. You fish it out, click it on, and set it on the projector table before turning back to the shelves. 

There were lots of boxes, so you grab the nearest one and bring it over to the table to go through it. It’s full of what you think are spare parts for a projector, though you don’t know enough about this stuff to be sure.

The next box has some old broken lenses. Then one with tools. You even found some film, but it seemed blank. You held it up to the light and saw absolutely nothing. You suppose it makes sense for all these things to be in here, but you can’t help but wish there was something more exciting. 

You pull down another box, this one from the top shelf and open it expecting to see glass cleaner or something like that, but instead you find another, smaller box. You pull it out, and it looks like a jewelry box. There’s an image on the top of it: a skull and crossbones that’s biting what looks like a wand. Interesting. It kinda looks like something you would see on a pirate flag. What were those called again? Jolly Rogers? Yeah, that sounds right.

You give it a little shake and hear something clatter inside it. Trying to open it, however, is fruitless. It’s locked. All the keys you got earlier are way too big to fit the hole, but you think it should be easy enough to break open yourself at home. 

A genuine smile spreads across your face, you found something cool this time! The jewelry box goes into your backpack, and you’re about to resume your search when you hear something. It sounds like voices in the hall.

Quickly, but quietly, you snatch your lantern to turn it off and creep down the stairs and towards the door to try and listen better. There are two sets of footsteps but only one voice.

“-nd today WE are doing an overnight challenge in a haunted abandoned mall!”

You cringe. Oh great. Youtubers. Liars too based off that comment about the mall being haunted. In all the research you did on this place, you never saw so much as one ghost sighting.

Huffing out a sigh, you know that your fun is going to be cut short. There’s no telling whether or not these idiots parked right by the front door. You need to get out before cops show up. That, and you don’t want to accidentally end up in one of their videos. You can practically see the title now: “REAL ghost sighting at ABANDONED mall??? SCARY!!! (NOT CLICKBAIT)”

No thank you.

Lucky for you, you’ve already got a nice find, so at least you’re not leaving empty handed. You wait until they go into one of the theaters to leave the room, carefully easing the door open and closed. After a moment of thought, you lock it, too. You want this to be untouched when you come back. Naturally, this means you’re taking the keys with you. They can’t be that important to anyone if they got left behind like this.

Your escape from the mall and trip back home was uneventful for the most part. You were able to leave unnoticed and before cops got there. The youtubers did, indeed, park at the front door, so it was only a matter of time. 

The apartment complex you lived in was kinda run down, but overall not that bad. Sure, it was dingy and the bathroom had a mold problem, but it kept you warm and dry so things could be worse. 

After entering your apartment, you immediately lock your door behind you. No sense leaving it unlocked and letting some creep in. With that taken care of, you drop your backpack by the couch and go to grab some tools. 

You unceremoniously plop yourself onto the couch and toss a screwdriver and hammer onto the coffee table. You bring out the old jewelry box and really look at it now that you’re in a properly lit room. The dust was really caked on, prompting you to use your sleeve to wipe away the bulk of it.

The picture was very detailed. The skull and crossbones were painted beautifully, even the small wand looked lovely. The box was wooden, expertly varnished. You already feel bad that you’re going to have to break this open. Hopefully you’ll be able to keep the damage to a minimum, that way you can use it for yourself after this.

Experimentally, you try to pull it open again. It does have some give to it, but not enough to actually get it open. You grab the screwdriver and wedge it into the sliver of space between the lid and the box. You try and pry it open. It creaks a little, opens up slightly more, but stops short. Okay, time for the big guns.

Using your feet to hold either side of it in place, you grab the hammer, aim, and bring it down on the screwdriver handle. You hear a crack, but it’s still closed. You raise your arm and bring it down again, harder this time.

CRACK

Both the plastic screwdriver handle and the lock shatter from the force of the blow. You discard the hammer onto the floor next to the bits of handle and throw open the box.

There’s only two things in there. A rolled up piece of paper, and a necklace. The pendant on the necklace sports the same image as the top of the jewelry box over a bronze lattice patterned circle. You gingerly pick it up. It’s thin and feels brittle, like you could snap it in half without much force. What’s the point of a necklace being this fragile? 

You set it back down gently and pick up the paper. It’s almost as bad as the necklace, it looks very old and is crumbling around the edges. Slowly, you unfurl it and see there’s a message scrawled onto it with red ink.

“Congratulations on your lucky find

I wonder what desire you have in mind

Close your eyes, make a wish, and break the pendant in two

Whatever you want most will come to you”

An eyebrow quirks up and the strange rhyme. What, was this left by a genie? You sigh, and here you thought you might get something valuable out of this. 

Still… What would it hurt to play along for a second?

You grab the pendant again and examine it while you mull over what to wish for. Money? Nah. Money can be earned, however difficult it may be. If you’re gonna be using some sort of (allegedly) all powerful magic necklace, it should be something more unobtainable. What do you really want?

If you’re completely honest with yourself, you hate where you are in life right now. The monotony, the loneliness, everything. You need a new start. A new start with some new friends. Friends that actually give a shit about you. Anyone that loves you for you. Yeah, that sounds good.

Leaning back, you close your eyes and make your wish. You’re not sure you need to say it out loud, but do anyway, “I wish to have a fresh start somewhere new. A place with adventure where I can be loved.”

The pendant snaps in half easily. You hold your breath and wait. Nothing. You crack an eye open. You’re still in your same old apartment. Of course you are. Why did you think that would work? How childish.

Even though you expected this, you can’t help the wave of bitterness that washes over you. Angrily, you stuff the broken pendant into your pocket and grab your backpack. You stand up to go put this shit away, but…

You fall through the floor.

The floor didn’t break, it’s like it just ceased to exist. As you fall, everything goes black, and there isn’t a sound to be heard besides your own screaming. What’s happening? What’s going on? Shit, was that stupid thing really magical??? Was it fucking cursed???

Trying not to panic wasn’t even being considered, how could anyone not freak out from this? So here you are, screaming and crying while holding onto your backpack for dear life as if it’s going to help you right now.

Suddenly, you can see light coming from underneath you. You’re torn between being relieved to see light and being terrified that you’re about to splatter onto the ground. A wave of warmth hits you, carrying the smell of sea water. You realize that the ‘ground’ beneath you is actually a huge body of water.

And then you’re in it. 

There wasn’t enough time to prepare for the sudden immersion. Water flooded into your open mouth and you scrambled and flailed in an attempt to get to the surface. As you break the surface, you’re coughing and hacking the salty water out of your lungs. You weren’t anywhere near the ocean, how are you suddenly fighting for your life in one?

You whip your head around and are horrified to see absolutely nothing, No land or ships in sight. Oh my god. You’re going to die out here.

“HEEYYY! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

You attempt to spin around to identify your potential savior, but a wave hits you, knocking you under the water again. Dammit, no! Not like this! 

Miraculously, you get back to the surface again, and the second you do, something grabs onto your shoulder and pulls. And pulls. And keeps pulling. You went from almost drowning to feeling like you’re flying over the surface of the ocean. In an attempt to feel some semblance of security, you grab onto whatever is holding you. 

It… it feels like a hand??? No, that doesn’t make sense, who could be pulling you along like this with their hand???

“Luffy, you need to slow down! You’re pulling her in too fast!”

You try to look over your shoulder to see what the hell is going on, and through your hair you think you can make out what looks like two people on a small boat. The boat is already very close and rapidly getting closer. Way too close!

THWACK

And everything goes dark again.

[stxrvel]

welcome home (1)

series summary: you woke up from a long coma with no memory of a part of your life only to be told by your teammates that you're married to the man you hated seven years ago. even though that seemed to be the only problem, as time goes on you're realizing there's a lot more history and mystery behind the accident that left you in medical care for months. blackouts, more memory loss, mistrust and a strange man who seems to be connected to everything. every day it gets harder to trust anyone around you, but you won't stop until you can finally uncover the truth behind the accident.

chapter summary: when an accident makes you forget the last seven years of your life, you're lucky to have someone like Bucky to support you in your recovery. except he's not the Bucky you remember.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4k

warnings: angst. that's all.

note: this wasn't planned. at all. i had the day off and wanted to write something but nothing was coming to me enough to write another part of the outbreak or how to break a routine in one year, so i was just browsing tumblr until i saw something related to memory loss and this popped into my head. i thought i wasn't going to finish writing it but it came out more than i expected. and clearly this gives for a part two and even more, but at the moment i don't know when that will happen. also, i suck with titles, i think i'll change it later. meanwhile, i hope you enjoy it! feedback is always appreciated, thank u for the support! 💜

masterlist | next | series masterlist

Bucky was right to be scared. He was right to feel his soul leaving his body and his heart bursting with pain. He was completely right to be frightened, unsure of the future and the opportunities it had taken with it. Bucky was right to feel that his world was crumbling, that he was left with half a heart to survive for the rest of his life.

But he was also right in deciding not to show how scared he was. He could have his nerves frozen inside his body and feel his blood boiling inside his veins, his whole insides churning and messing up without any compassion, but he couldn't let that rule his life. He knew that the only solution was to cope rationally and objectively, even if he wanted to burst into tears every ten minutes.

“Okay, everything looks good for now,” Bucky heard the doctor, along with the others who were in the room.

He had been standing in the corner of the room the whole time, not moving a millimeter barely to breathe. The mood was so bleak and melancholy that he feared the sadness would rub off on him if he blinked any faster.

“So, can you discharge her now?” Tony Stark asked, his body closer to the door than any other.

“Yes, she can leave after you sign some paperwork. I'm going to need her to come back for some monthly checkups and let me know if she comes to remember anything.”

“Of course,” Steve Rogers stated.

Bucky wandered his gaze over the other two men in the room and the two women behind them, Natasha Romanoff and Carol Danvers. They all looked wary, not taking their gazes off your figure lying on the gurney after the doctor finished checking something in your eyes. He didn't like the way their bodies moved, anxious to talk, anxious to ask questions. He didn't like how Steve constantly opened and closed his hands; how Tony crossed and uncrossed his arms over his chest; how Natasha suspiciously watched the doctor every time he approached you and asked what he was doing; how Carol glared at the man every time he told them there was no news or progress. They had overwhelmed you before with so many gestures and words that the orderlies had to take them all out almost by force.

In a way, Bucky understood them. He too had been terrified at the beginning, still was to some degree, but it had been a while before they began to regulate their behavior. Bucky understood that the situation was difficult for them, as it was for him, but they also had to think about what it was like for you.

You were on the brink of death and awoke to find that about seven years of memories had been erased from your head.

Bucky had not taken it well at first. He was in a constant panic and searched the internet for all possible solutions that could make up for the mistake that was made. He was anxiously talking to Wanda trying to convince her to find something to do. He had gone to Strange almost begging him for some spell that could fix everything. He had asked the doctor a hundred times on the verge of insanity if it was possible to fix it with another surgery. It had simply been the worst news he had ever been given in his life.

Until, by some divine miracle, the rational part of his brain took control of his thoughts and emotions. That's when his “there's nothing we can do” thought came. The rest of the team was surprised when they saw him calmly walking around the Complex and going on missions, when Bucky had finally understood that he couldn't stop his life for something he couldn't fix. He had to learn to live with that and he hoped the others would too.

But no, it seemed that moment of enlightenment hadn't come to anyone but him.

They returned to the Complex after signing papers and picking up medications with the orders the doctor had given them, some pills for the eventual migraines and muscle relaxants if needed.

The trip was tense. Everyone sent you wary glances and purposely averted their gazes when they saw you watching them. Bucky could tell you were starting to get nervous. Even more, anxious.

Lacking knowledge of your family's whereabouts and that your current address was the Complex, that was where you would spend the rest of the days of your recovery -although Bucky had other options in mind-. The doctor had put his buts in, believing that being in such a tense, busy and overwhelming environment as the main Avengers facility was could hinder your process of getting better, but Tony was very specific and quick to tell him that there was a part of the Complex, a wing, that they had almost completely isolated to keep you in a safe place and away from the stress of the job. The mechanic spoke confidently about how you would be totally at ease as if the decision was entirely up to the doctor, while giving Bucky a helpless look. Finally, to please Tony, the doctor agreed to let you go spend your recovery at the Complex.

Of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that Bucky was your husband.

The doctor who treated you for almost a year, from the time you arrived injured and near death, to your subsequent surgeries and recovery, always knew that the final decision was out of his hands. It was funny to watch Tony argue his points to influence his decisions, but in the end that was not something he had any power in. His gazes always turned to Bucky, waiting for a nod or a shake.

Tony knew that too. You had invited him to the wedding because you were closer to him than Bucky, plus they had to see each other constantly for work. They weren't best buddies, but they maintained a relationship that was professional and affectionate and friendly enough to keep you satisfied. That is, until the accident. Since that day, Tony had taken a completely different stance towards Bucky and he really didn't find it strange. He hadn't even been able to speak to him since the day he had almost apologized with his knees to the floor when they had to tell Bucky that you almost died because of a mistake.

Over time, Bucky had let go of the anger along with his realization that he couldn't do anything to change the past, but it seemed to him that Tony still felt guilty about what had happened.

Bucky looked away from the road when he saw you stir in your seat as they were about to arrive at the Complex. The team tried to make small talk after several minutes of traveling in awkward silence, but it resulted in a much more tense atmosphere with everyone turning their heads to look at anything but you like fish out of water.

Bucky watched you from his position in the back of the van as you moved forward to view the Complex facilities in delight. He couldn't help but smile after spending months in constant stress, realizing that you had done the same thing the first time you had gone over ten years ago.

Carol and Natasha took it upon themselves to guide you through the isolated wing of the Complex to the room you would be staying in. Bucky stayed a few floors down along with Steve and Tony in the living room.

“How are you feeling?” Bucky heard Steve ask next to him, as Tony quietly approached the bay window.

“Fine.”

“Buck, you don't have to-”

“Really, I'm fine,” Bucky nodded, noticing Steve's incredulous look. He had to fight not to roll his eyes in disgust.

One thing the team had taken to doing constantly was treating him like a child, like someone who didn't know what he was feeling and didn't know how to control his emotions. That had been happening since the moment he accepted that he couldn't fix something that was out of his control. That you'd had an accident, you'd lost your memory, you'd forgotten him, and there was nothing he could do about it. He had tried everything, and there was nothing.

But the team thought his attitude was that he was trying to hide his feelings and, well, in part he was. He didn't deny that it still made him scared and angry to think of all the opportunities and moments that were gone along with your memory, but he was aware that showing himself that way in front of you wouldn't bring you any good. Unlike him and completely unaware of the truth, the team believed he was in denial. They believed that Bucky had been trying for months to avoid dealing with his feelings and that at any moment he would break down and suffer fighting the horrible reality.

Bucky had only responded to their unconscious attacks and questions with the truth, but it seemed the team was in more denial than he was.

“The doctor said the chances of her regaining her memory were high. Don't worry.” Steve patted Bucky on the shoulder to accompany his words, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“Steve, I'm not wor-”

“And she'll adjust well to the routine in this place. You know we'll be constantly keeping an eye on her and making sure she's okay, right?”

“I'd rather you stay away,” Bucky mumbled, his teeth grazing at the discomfort.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

Bucky kept his distance at first. He wanted to first meet and see how you were adjusting to your new home and how you related to others. Besides, he was also a little nervous about talking to you. You had done it before, yes, at the hospital. You had introduced yourselves and asked him a few questions when he was around. But when Bucky finally confessed to you that he was your husband, it was as if something had disturbed the gravity around the both of you. Clearly Bucky was quick to notice that change in your behavior and began to pull away trying to give you your space and not overwhelm you, unlike others.

You had some memories with him, Bucky was sure. You had lost the memory of about seven years, and you had come to the team ten years ago. That would have been good for him and your relationship, except that in the beginning neither of you could stand the other.

That's right. You two hated each other's guts. And Bucky eternally regretted waiting until the fifth year of meeting you to make his feelings known to you. Because, at that point, all you remembered about him were his stinging comments and his cold, calculating stares. When he remembered the things he had said to you to hurt you on purpose, he would cringe and his body would tremble in rejection.

Before confessing, he had thought about the possibility of keeping everything hidden, maybe try to win your trust again and suddenly have what you had before. And maybe the Bucky of six years ago would have done that, wouldn't have hesitated to keep the truth hidden just to guide you down the path he wanted to walk. But the Bucky who was there, in year ten, couldn't look you in the eye and try to keep something in the dark. He knew it wasn't right and that lies usually backfired on the person telling them. Besides, ever since you had decided to try to have a relationship, you had made him promise never to keep anything from you, no matter how stupid or horrible it was. You had been in such a toxic relationship with him before that you only wanted to look out for each other's welfare. A relationship based on trust and communication was a good relationship.

And Bucky wanted to keep his promise, even if you couldn't remember it.

So he was keeping his space, but he was always aware of what you were doing. And that's why he noticed every time you would give him a questioning look and then pull back and focus your attention on something else when you noticed he was looking at you.

Bucky wasn't sure if it was a good or bad idea what he was doing. He could just walk up and talk to you, maybe you were willing to do that. Or you might think he was crazy for watching you from afar like he was an eagle and didn't want you near him under any circumstances. Bucky didn't know what to do, and asking the team wasn't in his options, so he just decided to do what he thought best.

One day, a couple of weeks after you returned to the Complex, Bucky met you casually. Really, casually.

He had spent a whole week in constant stress so he hadn't even been able to get near the side of the Complex where you were staying. He had been assigned an undercover mission and it had turned out to be a little more complicated than it seemed at first. There were too many fights involved in the end, but he had achieved his goal.

The day he arrived at the Complex he took a long shower and a long nap. It was the least he deserved. After waking up, he went to the kitchen to make himself a coffee because it was just getting light, when he saw you leaning on the kitchen counter.

You froze at the same time he did. Bucky wasn't expecting the first person he would meet to be you, he didn't even know you were already freely leaving your safe place, but life is full of surprises, apparently. Bucky noticed your wary gaze on him, how the cup you held in your hands had been halfway to its destination and how your body moved only to breathe.

He moved, continuing with what he had gone to do, despite feeling that captivating electricity coursing through his body and asking him to move closer to you. Moving his eyes away from yours felt like a sin and his body was almost reluctant to follow the directions in his head.

Bucky finally approached the coffee pot to notice the steaming liquid coming out of it. So, it was coffee that was in your cup.

He was a little hesitant to drink from the coffee you had made because he didn't know how you would react to his intrusion, so he decided to move to the other side of the kitchen where the drawers were and grab the first cereal to be found.

“You can have some of that coffee,” you spoke to him suddenly, resuming your movements and he could barely turn to look at you over his shoulder. “Clint did it.”

Bucky followed your eyes moving all over the instance, anywhere but on his, and even though he felt he'd had a year to prepare for this, it seemed completely insufficient: nothing would have prepared him to ever again hear your nonchalant voice directed at him the way you spoke to him before you decided to become a couple. Bucky thought that those years had been buried in the back of his head, that the situation you were going through wouldn't bring back memories he preferred to keep hidden, but thinking about doing it was easier than actually doing it.

He moved his body almost groaningly until he was back in front of the coffee pot next to you. Hearing you talking to him like that had knocked his mood to the floor. He wasn't too high either, that mission was both physically and mentally exhausting, but he was more relieved to be back at the Complex.

“I didn't see you this week,” you spoke again as Bucky thought you were about to leave the kitchen. He moved his head to look at you, his expression indescribable, you could barely describe him as dumbfounded and bewildered.

Bucky mumbled a few words before responding. “I was on a mission. Far away.”

“Mhm,” you hummed in response, and Bucky nearly melted at the sound. Even though he recognized your demeanor, because that was how you acted before when you wanted to get information out of him or when talking to someone you suspected was hiding something from you, he couldn't help but rejoice at finding little gestures that made him reminisce about the good times he had with you.

With more encouragement, Bucky poured his black coffee under the umbrella of your expectant indifference.

“How have the others been?”

He moved to stand in front of you with the cup in his hands, and could notice how subtly your shoulders slumped a little. He couldn't define whether in calm or ennui.

“It's been… complicated.”

“Are they very insistent?”

You turned your head to look at him, and Bucky nearly choked on the sip of coffee he'd taken. He thought you'd keep visually ignoring him and not turn to look at him like he was a life preserver in the middle of the ocean.

“They're horrible,” you barely whispered, your head bobbing closer in complicity. Far gone was your mask of coldness the moment you found someone to complain to about how terrifying those weeks at the Complex had been. “I feel like I can't move my hair without having someone behind me asking me if I want my hair combed for me or if I was moving it because I had a headache. Anything I do is over-analyzed and that's so…ugh, so frustrating.”

Bucky definitely didn't expect you to spew all those words in front of him, but he did understand how overwhelmed you must be and mentally berated himself for agreeing to you having visitors from the moment you arrived. His idea was that you would have time to clear your thoughts and to adjust to that new place on your own, but somehow the team managed to convince him to let them in from time to time to greet you because being alone too much all of a sudden wasn't good for your sanity.

He should have known better knowing how clingy and pushy his teammates were.

When he was around you, they behaved, but they seemed to pretty much take advantage of the times when he wasn't around to behave as they pleased.

“I hate being treated like I'm a piece of glass. I understand well what happened and its aftermath and that it affected them too much, but I can still live peacefully without needing them to do things for me. I'm not incapacitated or anything like that.”

“I understand.”

Wow, Bucky, couldn't you have said something much more interesting?

“I'm fine,” you continued speaking as Bucky noticed how your eyes were lost in the distance in the kitchen. “I really feel fine. But they're always on me like trying to convince me otherwise and talking about my memories every other time.”

Bucky furrowed his brow and suddenly felt the sting in his chest from anger. There was only so much Bucky had in life to control his temper and that was you. With anything else, Bucky was nothing but walking indifference. He didn't care about the fights the others on the team had, he didn't care about the decisions that had to be made, he didn't care about what the majority chose, he didn't care about the discussions about the rooms when they had to stay in hotels. But when it came to you, there was no stormo chaser that could withstand his tempestuous attitude.

The limit was that the others could get angry, fight and argue about whatever they felt like, but the moment that started to affect you, Bucky didn't hesitate to step up and shut them all up. That was one of the reasons he was the leader of the mission most of the time. It was easy to recognize his leadership ability, even if he tried to hide it through that window of indifference. He was very objective when it came to making tough decisions and was very capable of organizing whatever chaos had been created around him.

And, at that moment, Bucky felt he had reached his limit. He had let himself be convinced by the team to bring you here to carry out your recovery contrary to what he had thought of leaving you in the city with one of your closest friends that you remembered very well; and then he had let himself be convinced to let them invade your space when it was clear that they were not going to know how to behave around you and would overwhelm you just like they did in the hospital.

Bucky couldn't understand how he could have made such bad decisions about you. He felt he had completely failed you as your husband by not giving you a truly safe place in which to heal.

“I'll tell them not to come back,” Bucky told you after a few seconds in silence and your blank stare focused on his suddenly elated face.

“What?”

Bucky met your gaze. “This wasn't the way I wanted you to spend your recovery, and it's certainly not the way you should spend it. You should be calm, but I don't see that happening. I'm sorry.”

You watched his face, transfixed. Bucky looked quizzical for a few seconds at your dumbfounded stare and no response. His eyes moved around your face trying to figure out if he had said something wrong… until it all clicked in his head.

You didn't remember.

Yes, it seemed stupid because he'd been living with that thought all last year, but apparently he had to remind himself. For a moment, he had gotten so lost, not only in the familiarity of your ramblings and gestures, but also in the annoyance and self-reproach, that he had forgotten for a few measly minutes that you didn't remember. You didn't remember that protective side of him. You didn't remember how much he loved to sit and listen to you talk about others, good things or bad things. You didn't remember how much it made him angry when other people made you the least bit uncomfortable or angry. You didn't remember the way he showed that appreciation, that love for you.

That attitude Bucky was giving you was completely new to you. Surely it was like seeing a different person. Bucky mentally cringed at the thought that you must be thinking of him as a jerk who acted like a teenager and said hurtful things just for the fun of it.

At that moment, he would have liked to take more time when you were in the hospital to talk to you, so he could get to know you and you could see that he was different and not the same person he was six years ago. But at that time he felt so scared. Just the memory of your face contorting when he had told you he was your husband still sent shivers down his spine.

One thing he couldn't deny was that he had lived constantly, even up to that moment, in fear of rejection. When you had reacted that way that time at the hospital, Bucky had at first turned away in fear. But then he had tried to be nice to you, as if nothing had happened. However, he could tell that it was much more strange for you to see the flowers on the table in the room or to have him bring you lunch because the hospital food was so simple. It seemed that no matter what he did, that reluctant expression on your face would not go away.

Then, he stopped trying. He would only show up in your room when you were sleeping, in the daytime or at night, and when everyone gathered for the doctor's checkup. Bucky didn't know how to get back into your life and the very idea was driving him to the brink of panic again. So he tried to have that moment of enlightenment again, but all he got in response was that maybe he should continue to keep his distance.

At that point, Bucky didn't know what to do. It wasn't your fault to react that way because it wasn't what you remembered about him, that wasn't wrong. He felt again that incessant need to pull away and go back to watching over you from a distance, because the look you had given him was so similar to the others that it was scary. Too scary. The possibility that he could never get back even half of what you two had before danced around him like a taunt. The ring on his ring finger too heavy to bear.

“Thank you…? I think,” you replied at last, but without changing the quizzical look on your face.

“I'll talk to Steve,” Bucky announced, a little more impassively than he had planned, and took the cup tightly in his hands with the thought in his head to get out of the kitchen so he wouldn't keep invading your space.

He felt your gaze follow him until he was near the living room.

“Hey, wait.”

He heard your footsteps following him and planted his feet on the floor. He gave you a questioning look over his shoulder, waiting for you to say something. Bucky watched you move from side to side, shifting your weight on your legs, a clear sign of your nervousness. When you looked directly at the contents of your cup instead of his eyes as you spoke, he couldn't help a small smile.

“I'm sorry about that. It's just… This is too weird for me. I wish I could get close and talk to you because that's what my body wants, but my head keeps me alert and defensive when you're around. What I remember about you is not…”

You cocked your head and twisted your lips. Bucky thought that had been the kindest way to describe it.

“You don't have to apologize.”

“But I do have to!” you exclaimed, scowling at him. “It's been a year and you've been nothing but kind to me. You've given me space and time, unlike others-”

Bucky nodded strongly at your words.

“-but I've given you nothing in return.”

He relaxed his features, letting the tension dissipate away from his body. He momentarily pushed away his worries and negative possibilities because you stood there in front of him with such a contrite expression on your face that it caused him physical pain.

“You don't owe me anything, Y/N, okay? What I do I do because I want to, not because I'm expecting anything in return from you. If you feel like you need another week before you talk to me, that's fine, take it. If you feel it's a month, six months, a year, it doesn't matter. Take as much time as you need. Either way, anytime, you know where to find me. I'm not going anywhere.”

Bucky hadn't missed the journey of emotions that roared across your face and he was genuinely happy about it. It had been a while since he had seen you feel not only comfortable but joyful around him, that he had begun to think that those moments would only live on in his memory from now on. But, perhaps, that might not have been the case…

“Thank you, Bucky,” you murmured after sighing, and if Bucky hadn't been so attentive to you he surely would have missed it. Along with the small smile you gave him that would be enough to keep his sanity afloat for the rest of the month.

You saw him give you a small nod and then begin to walk away, leaving as the sun's rays began to appear through the living room window. A strange feeling settled in your chest, and it seemed like a turf battle was taking place between your reluctance to accept that Bucky had changed and that you two had taken your relationship four levels higher than expected, and this new feeling that was akin to hope. You could barely recognize it.

You didn't know how you were going to begin to deal with the reality that you were married to Bucky, but you suddenly felt a little less afraid to know the history of the decisions that had brought you to this point.

You remembered the wedding ring that was tucked away in your nightstand drawer and how it shone just as brightly as the one you saw on Bucky's finger. Maybe you felt a little closer to being ready to start dealing with it.

[eitaababe]

SOMEBODY ELSE !

— chapter 20. not him.

a/n — it's a fun one buckle up lads

series masterlist. | previous / next

written portion below. —

you were pretty sure you were on the brink of insanity.

knowing the conversation that awaited with the male sitting just across the classroom from you made you jitter in your seat, kiri having to calm you down and force you to focus every ten minutes or so.

from the looks on his face, you were almost positive ao'nung knew what was to come, and you hated yourself for it. he was perfect on paper, and always someone you could rely on.

so how could you have it in you to break his heart?

because someway, somehow, neteyam made you feel complete. you couldn't imagine yourself without him, even if you both had your faults. you pushed the guilt aside for just a moment, letting yourself forget what you had to do.

until your professor wrapped up the lecture.

you glanced over at ao'nung, the two of you sharing a nod, and with an exhale, grabbed your things and headed towards the door, waiting for students to file out.

"hey."

you picked your head up to match the familiar voice, sending a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

"hi."

"you wanted to talk?"

"i'm sorry," you started out, and ao'nung nodded, and you assumed he already knew. "i'm so sorry— i didn't- eywa i didn't mean for any of it to go this way. i just can't-"

"you can't control how you feel, i get it," he kissed his teeth, looking down at his shoe laces. "it's always been neteyam for you. part of me always knew that. i was just kinda hoping i was wrong. and i know i was out of line when i tried to keep it from you, i should've never done that."

"i shouldn't have blown up on you," you sympathized, heart squeezing when you noticed the soft glaze in his eyes. "but i meant everything i said, when i was with you. i meant everything, and if i could've changed anything to not rope you into this mess i swear i would. i just don't want you to hate me." you finished quietly, hoping he would meet your eye.

"i could never hate you," he smiled sadly, "but i'm gonna be honest— i'm hurt. and i can't talk to you knowing we'll only ever be friends."

you nodded in disappointment, knowing he was right. "i get it," you bit the inside of your cheek, unsure of what to say. "if it means anything— i'm sorry. again. and i'm here if you ever need to reach out and need somebody."

"thank you," he shot a grateful look your way, bringing you into an embrace. "and it means everything, y/n." he held you for a moment probably too long, shutting his eyes and pretending that maybe, for just a moment, you were his.

"i'll see you around?" you spoke, squeezing his hand reassuringly when he nodded.

you turned away, walking further and further away from ao'nung, missing the way he stood still, missing your warm embrace.

─── neteyam !

it had been about a week since neteyam's met up with you, and he swear he's going to lose his mind if he has to wait any longer.

and yes, he knows, it was originally his idea to wait and give you time before getting back into another relationship with him, but he's really starting to think how much he took holding you for granted. it didn't help you were busy the past few days, out applying for some jobs, so you two didn't have your daily breakfast trips together.

so he opted for a cup of coffee on his day off, figuring he could get ahead on some of his work rather than procrastinating (probably with you) later on.

with a hot cup of coffee on his left and a notebook on his right, alongside with a computer screen in front of him, neteyam was finally able to buckle down, feeling contempt for the first time in the past few days.

it didn't last for long, when a familiar blonde caught his eye.

attempting to avert his gaze, neteyam practically buried his head in the computer, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand and somehow avoid violet all at once. the plan wasn't foolproof, clearly, as she spotted him almost immediately and invited herself over where she clearly wasn't welcome.

"teyam?"

he winced at the sound of his nickname, it felt almost forbidden not falling from your lips, and your lips only.

"hey, violet."

"i've been texting you, have you been getting them?"

"can't say i have." he lied, not wanting to have another cafe fiasco with the girl.

"that's so weird," she huffed, taking out her phone. "maybe i could just get your number then? so that we don't have any more cross ups."

"violet, look—"

"neteyam," she cut him off, sitting across the table from him and grasping his hands, missing the way he went stiff at her touch. "i know things might have been a little rocky lately, but all couples go through things like this and..."

whatever violet was going on about was lost on him, and time seemed to pause when he saw you, walking through the cafe. you looked like an angel, the sunlight kissing your face and highlighting your features, a smiling gracing you as well.

a smile that quickly faded at the sight of him.

FUN FACTS !

— y/n and lo'ak are planning to apply as baristas at the cafe so when they saw neteyam's post they were going to surprise him there

— violet's starting to suspect neteyam and y/n have something going on so she went to the cafe to talk to neteyam about what they were

— lo'ak saw what was happening inside the cafe and tried to stall y/n before she could walk in the cafe

—

taglist #1 / closed ! @n7ytiri @ilovejakesullysdick @possysblog @love-chx @evphology @afro-hispwriter @ydsm-29 @goldeneywa @doulcha @krazy-kattzz @squid4 @blairrrrrr @neteyamforlife @dreamtogether2000 @444lyra @ambria @cawi00 @calums-betch @powowowy @fadingpalacebonkpsychic @elegantkidfansoul @kolsmikaelson @mirikusashes @yukichan67 @goodiesinthecloset21 @netemoon @teyums @littlethingsinlife @coconut-dreamz @anm3mi @jjkclub @il0veheartz @liyahsocorro @drugs-for-memes @zendayaswrld101 @grierpilots @misscaller06 @lightskinloak @mommyneytiri @inluvwithneteyam @halibanana @iheartamajiki @ipoopedmypants47 @neigesprincess @lookiiheh @ghostjoohoney @ronalsgirl @alwayswndr @khaleesi56 @azaleaniath

[hungermakesmonsters]

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Three

Plot summary : When your friend interviews for a position at Anvil, you have a chance encounter with Billy Russo. He takes you for coffee and, by the time you’re done , Billy decides he’s anything but done with you.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R 

Chapter Rating : R - smut and alcohol

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] This is the chapter where the smut starts. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : ~3.3k

A/N : This chapter picks up a couple of weeks after the last and things are finally going to get moving a bit. Again, thank you so much for reading and liking the previous chapters, I really hope you’ll enjoy where I plan to go with this!

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

Weeks passed, time and space allowing you to forget about Billy and the offer he’d made you. To her credit, Tammy had stuck with the job at Anvil and even seemed to be enjoying it, and she only rarely expected you to drop her off or pick her up. And Billy was nowhere to be seen; if he knew you were there, if he noticed your car, he didn’t bother to come out to see you. Everything felt like it was as it should be. In fact, everything felt better than it should.

Most days you didn’t even see Tammy; she’d go to work then out for food with her new friends, not getting home until late, leaving you with the whole apartment to yourself. Not that you were home much. No, you’d been taking extra shifts, trying to save some money. Soon enough Tammy would realise that she didn’t need you to split the bills and you’d wanted to be ready for when that day came.

As much as you didn’t want to have to move out, the thought of having your own space seemed nice. 

Space that you found yourself desperately wishing for when Tammy texted you to let you know that she was throwing a party. You’d just finished your last delivery of the evening and all you’d wanted to do was go home, take the world's hottest shower, and then climb into bed. 

Instead, when you got home, you had to fight to get to the bathroom, and suffer through the quickest shower imaginable because Tammy’s guests kept banging on the door. As for going to bed early? You gave up on that dream before you’d even reached the apartment door; the noise from the party flooded out into the stairwell, practically shaking the fucking walls.

You tried to be a good sport about it, hiding away in your room with your headphones on, trying to relax after a long day but you couldn’t. After two hours, you were at your wits end and you needed a drink (or to strangle Tammy - whichever opportunity presented itself first). Having to force your way through a crowd just to get to your own kitchen did little to help your mood but nothing could have prepared you for what came next.

Right in front of the refrigerator stood a leggy blonde - the sort with devastating curves and a perfect figure - but she wasn’t the one that held your attention. No, you were more stuck on the person at the end of her arm, the man whose chest her hand was possessively resting on. Billy-fucking-Russo.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you muttered aloud but still remained unnoticed. Insignificant. Inconsequential. 

For a few moments, you waited, like an expectant child, hoping someone would finally realise that you were there and move, but the longer you watched them, her hand stroking his chest and his eyes on hers, the angrier you felt. And you blamed him.

Normally it wouldn’t have bothered you  - you were fine with blending in, with people not noticing you - normally you would have cut your losses and returned to your room. But he was standing there, in your home with that shit-eating grin on his lips while some woman pawed at him.

The anger was irrational, it was stupid - you’d told him no, you didn’t get to be angry. But why had he even asked? Why go through all of that when it was obviously so easy for him? He’d stood in front of you and laughed at the idea you weren’t his type, but here he was, proving you right. Was that why he’d given up so easily? (Though could you really call it easy when you’d told him no at least half a dozen times?)

Finally, something broke inside of you.

“Hey, can you fucking move?” It came out before you could stop yourself, a little louder than it really needed to be, but it got her attention.

And his.

“Excuse me?” She turned on you and, yeah, she was just as pretty face on.

“Hey, you’re here,” Billy smiled, though the smile only lasted for a moment.

“Of course I’m here, I fucking live here.” You snapped, pulling the refrigerator door open, forcing the blonde to step back.

“Oh, you’re the roommate, the bike messenger. That’s cute.” The blonde smirked, all but looking down her nose at you (which honestly wasn’t hard given the five inch heels she was standing on).

“I’ll show you fucking cute in a minute,” you practically snarled as you fished a can of beer from the fridge. 

She stepped forwards, ready to call your bluff, but Billy decided to chime in.

“Michelle, can you give us a moment?” He barely even looked at her and, under different circumstances, you might have enjoyed the way her face dropped at being dismissed by him. But you were too angry at him to pay her much mind once she started to walk away, even if she did mutter something that sounded vaguely threatening under her breath as she went.

Billy looked at you, obviously trying to figure out where your little outburst had come from. You tongued the inside of your cheek, glancing around at the mess Tammy’s guests had left all over the kitchen - mess you’d probably have to clean up in the morning.

“You should probably go after her,” you finally broke the silence, “she might fall off those heels and break her neck.”

“I’m sorry.” He offered with something of a sigh.

“For what?”

“For what she said. It was shitty.”

“It’s fine.” It really wasn’t fine. “I’m used to it.” It still pissed you off though. “And if it really bothered you, you should’ve at least had the balls to say it was shitty while she was still standing here. Not that I need you protecting me.”

“Have I done something wrong?” He finally decided to ask. “I feel like you’re pissed at me but I did exactly what you wanted me to do, I stayed away.”

“Being in my apartment isn’t staying away, Billy.”

“And that’s why you’re pissed? Because I came to a party? It’s not like I was trying to hunt you down, you came over here. Tammy said you’d stay in your room, that -”

“You know what? Never mind. You wouldn’t get it.” With that, you turned and started to walk away from him, swiping a bottle of vodka from the counter as you made your way back. Billy called after you, but he didn’t dare try to follow, and you didn’t breathe again until you were safely back in your room.

The next hour or so faded into something of a blur once you opened the vodka. Outside of your room the party raged on, showing no signs of ending anytime soon, but all you could think about was Billy. Have I done something wrong? It played over and over in your head and, even hours later, you still didn’t have an answer.

Yes, he’d done something wrong.

Only, no, he hadn’t.

You’d told him no, you’d turned him down; you didn’t get to be upset that he was letting other women throw themselves at him. You didn’t get to be angry that he was probably going to take Michelle home with him tonight. But you were angry, and that’s what annoyed you the most.

You felt used, felt like you’d been nothing more than a game to him and that, even if you had said yes, he would have dropped you the moment someone like her looked his way. 

Most of all you were upset that you had nothing to offer a man like Billy Russo.

After a while you got to your feet, planning on heading to the kitchen again for a glass of water - who would have guessed that trying to drink straight vodka was not the best idea? Being south of sober definitely made navigating the crowd of people a lot more interesting. Until you ran into her. Literally. Her drink fell from her hand the moment you collided, most going on you, but enough ending up on her.

You didn’t stop or wait to hear what she had to say, suddenly feeling like everyone was looking at you. You didn’t even make it to the kitchen, instead you ducked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind you, banging your fist against the door, needing to do something to help release the frustration. Once you were done hitting the door, you leaned against it, pressing your forehead against the wood, trying to get your shit together enough to go back out there and make it back to your room without causing anymore issues.

It wasn’t until you heard the toilet flush that you realised you weren’t alone.

And, as you turned, there he was. Billy-fucking-Russo pulling up his zipper.

“Shit, sorry -” you blurted out, cheeks burning with embarrassment, “- the lock, sometimes it doesn’t -”

“Don’t worry about it,” Billy shrugged, washing his hands like it was all perfectly normal, “though if you wanna work your frustration out, I can suggest something a little better than punching the door.”

“Of course you can,” rolling your eyes. “Can you just go, please?”

“I would, but I don’t think you really want that, sweetheart,” he smiled, waving his hand, reminding you that you were still pressed against the door, trapping him in there with you. You didn’t move. “Seriously, what did I do to piss you off? You asked me not to bother you anymore, so I left you alone. Why are you acting like I kicked your dog?”

As he spoke, Billy stepped forwards. You didn’t move, you just kept your eyes fixed on his, on those dark eyes that seemed to look right through all of your bullshit. You could get lost in those eyes; you wanted him to look right through you to all the things you kept hidden, just to prove yourself right about him when he walked away.

You didn’t answer his question. You didn’t have an answer for him. Silence fell and the space between you shrunk with every passing second until you had to tilt your head back against the door just to look at him.

“Why me?” You finally dared to ask the question that had been plaguing you since that first kiss.

“Why you, what?”

“Why kiss me when you have women like Michelle throwing themselves at you? Was it a slow week or did you think I’d just be desperate enough to say yes?” There was a pain in your words that you didn’t want to share with him; you didn’t want Billy to know that you were jealous, that he’d made you feel cheap and easily replaced.

For a second he looked at you, like he was thinking, like he was trying to understand just what you were saying. His eyes stayed fixed on yours, catching every little flicker of upset. Then he was moving, reaching for you and pulling you towards him, while simultaneously pressing you back against the door, his lips finding yours.

The kiss wasn’t gentle. No, it was everything you thought of when you dared to think of Billy; dominant and eager, possessive and hungry. His teeth nipped your lower lip, relieving you of your last scrap on common sense. You could taste whiskey on his lips and on his tongue as you fought with him to deepen the kiss, to get everything you could from him. Fingers gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, his body strong and firm against yours.

His hand held the back of your neck, fingers tangling with your hair, holding you in place while he devoured you with his kiss. It wasn’t long before your hips started to move, pressing yourself against him, trying to find some sort of relief.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he confessed against your lips.

The confession was almost enough to distract from the hand that moved between your bodies. Your thigh lifted to his hip, desperately pressing closer and closer while his lips began to trail up and down your neck. His touch made you feel like you were burning from the inside out and your breath caught the moment you felt his hand slip beneath the waistband of your leggings and into your panties. Your head fell back against the door as his fingers slipped lower, and by the time they reached your clit, you were aching for him.

Billy paused for the briefest of seconds, waiting for any sign that he’d gone too far. You gave him none. His lips covered yours again, kissing you and swallowing down all the gasps and moans that started to spill from you the moment his fingers started to circle the sensitive bundle of nerves. He wasn’t slow or gentle, he was eager, pushing you violently towards breaking point; too fast, too soon.

You felt the bang through the door before you heard it, Tammy called your name, and you froze.

“W-what?” You called out, quickly realising that Billy’s fingers were still moving and he had no intention of stopping. 

“Did you just throw a drink at Michelle?”

Billy’s hand sunk lower through the arousal that had soaked your panties and started to ease a finger inside you. The look on his face was shamelessly smug, enjoying watching you struggle to keep quiet. But you didn’t push him away, didn’t try to make him stop; you wanted him to do his worst.

Tammy banged on the door again.

“Well, did you?”

“No,” you gasped as his finger started to stroke into you from tip to knuckle.

“She said you did.”

His finger bent inside you while his thumb teased your clit; he knew exactly what he was doing, how impossible he was making things.

“I didn’t, it - it was an accident.” Your voice broke and your back arched, pressing into his touch.

His lips moved to your ear, tongue trailing along your lobe before he whispered; “you’re so wet for me, sweetheart.” And, as if to prove the point (or maybe just because he was enjoying watching you squirm) Billy sank a second finger into your wetness. Just one look at him told you everything you needed to know; he loved how much control he had over you, how much power.

“I said how did you accidentally -”

“Tammy, I -” you bit your lips together, trying to swallow down a moan, clenching around his fingers, “- I didn’t do anything to Michelle, so can you just fuck off and leave me alone?”

“You are fucking unbelieveable, you know that? I can’t fucking -”

Whatever she was saying, it didn’t matter. Your fingers tangled in Billy’s hair and you pulled him into a needy kiss, using his lips to muffle the sounds he was tearing from you. Every stroke from his fingers left you feeling dizzy, taking another piece of your sanity with them every time they pulled back. Your hips shifted, riding his fingers, taking everything he was giving you.

You already knew that you were going to let him fuck you. You were already thinking about it; right there against the door first, then bent over the sink so you could watch him in the mirror. Everywhere, anywhere. Every little thing was Billy, as his fingers drove you higher and higher.

Awkwardly, you ran your hand down the front of his shirt to his pants, finding the bulge of his erection and palming it through the fabric. You felt Billy’s lips pull into a smile against yours, his hips pressing into your touch. Fuck, you couldn’t get over how hard he was because of you. 

His fingers bent, stretching you, exploring you, until they found a spot that made you shudder.

“Billy -” you cried against his lips.

“So that’s what you sound like when you cry my name,” he groaned in response, looking at you in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. You could tell that he wanted more, that he needed everything from you. It should have scared you just how much he wanted but as his fingers found that spot over and over again, you couldn’t think about anything but Billy and how he was making you feel.

Your hand moved, tracing the hard outline of his cock, but you couldn’t do much more than that as Billy’s fingers dragged you to orgasm. He kissed you as you came, fingers still stroking into you, trying to drag the moment out as long as possible. Even his lips and tongue couldn’t completely muffle the moans and cries that spilled from you but, if anything, Billy seemed to enjoy it.

When it was done, your foot found the floor again, legs shaking beneath you as you tried to catch your breath. And, as you did, reality started to hit home. 

What had you just done? You’d let your roommate's new boss finger you in the bathroom at a party after drinking too much vodka, that's what.

And, why? Because you’d been jealous that he’d been giving someone else a shred of attention. Because he’d done exactly what you’d asked him to and he’d left you alone.

His lips moved back to your neck, his body pressed impossibly close, letting you know he wasn’t done. Billy wanted more. And you - fuck, some part of you still wanted that, especially when he pulled back his fingers and left you feeling devastatingly empty. You hated how worthless you suddenly felt knowing that you’d given him what he wanted from you - so what if he’d been thinking about you? That didn’t change the fact that, if you hadn’t stumbled into the bathroom, he probably would have taken Michelle home.

(He still could take her home. He could fuck her with the same fingers he'd just had inside you.)

Your whole body tensed when you felt his hands tugging at your leggings, and you knew it couldn't continue.

“Stop,” you finally managed to find your voice again, pushing him away from you.

Billy looked at you, confused and maybe even a little angry (or maybe you wanted him to be angry because it made what came next easier for you).

“What’s wrong?” He asked, expression softening when he noticed the look of anguish on your face.

“I can’t -” your voice broke. You hated yourself and hated him for making you feel that way, for twisting up your insides and giving you a fleeting glimpse of feelings you knew could never last.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he reached for you, fingers ghosting your cheek, trying to soothe you before you recoiled.

“I shouldn’t've, I - I need to -”

For the first time since you’d met him, Billy was left lost for words, trying to figure out what had happened in the last thirty seconds to trigger this sudden change in you, and you took the opportunity to open the door and slip away from him. You heard him call after you but you didn’t stop, making your way through the small crowd that had somehow managed to cram itself into your apartment. You didn’t see him try to follow after you, you didn’t look back, even as you reached the front door and left the apartment. 

You walked for a little while, not really knowing where you were going or what you were going to do. You just knew that you couldn’t go back, that you couldn’t face him. Eventually you wound up in the little diner a couple of blocks over where you sometimes grabbed breakfast in the morning and you stayed there, drinking coffee and eating pancakes until the early hours of the morning, until you were certain that the party would have finished and everyone would have left.

As much as you didn’t want to, you kept thinking about Billy, about everything that had happened, and how much you’d wanted it before the panic had set in. By the time you finally made it home, you were exhausted, crawling into bed and promising yourself that you’d stay away from Billy Russo from then on.

END NOTES : After the next part there are going to be fewer time jumps between chapters, I just wanted to kind of let Billy and the reader stew in their emotions for a bit. The next part is pretty much finished, it just needs some editing (funny story, the T and the I keys on my laptop are loose so if there’s any hilarious typos that slip though that’s probably why). But, yeah, the next part should be up next saturday!

As always, thank you so much for reading and liking and doing all the tumblr things, it means a lot to me! Also I have a tag list now so drop a comment or message me if you wanted to be added

Have a great day!

Chapter Four

TAG LIST

@lincerad @sweetserendipity65 @rafaelakelley

[kwanisms]

Start of Something New - h.jisung

➥ soft dom!Han × sub!Reader summary: Han finally takes Y/N on a date with him after having a serious sit down talk with Felix. wc: 15.7k (I'm not sorry lol) warnings: fem!reader, adult dialogue, sexual content (minors dni!): oral (f & m receiving), fingering, praise, dirty talk, pet names (baby, baby girl, angel, etc), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), multiple orgasms, creampie, marking, Han gets pussy-drunk and gets messy, lowkey lovemaking. I think that’s everything but let me know if I miss anything! a/n: here is the conclusion to this little mini-series! I hope you all liked it and please look forward to what else I have coming! This is just a little filler piece while I finish up the next chapter of Under Your Skin. UYS is a modern fantasy AU where Seo Changbin is a tattoo artist with a dark secret that could ruin everything he's worked so hard to build. You can read the first chapter here or join the taglist. Please note: if you've already joined my permanent taglist or my Stray Kids taglist, you will be tagged. This taglist is specifically for this series. This is a series I've worked hard on so I hope this interests you and you look forward to reading it! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

Permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby Stray Kids taglist: @cixrosie @hoeforcheol @beomgyusbabygirl @lovestayskzxx @flowerboykun @smhlino @cutiespaghetti @peterparkoure @chubbyanarkiss Tagging: @songgmingii @j1s-babygirl @chai-papa @klysaibabes @lovethatchanussy @nokacchan @dramaticnobody @youremytearr @replay-by-shinee @myprwttyhan @licklix @fairywriter-oracle @hyunnielix @lolareadaimagines @sirleeknow @chanlovesme @seungminssanrioslut @slutforgirlsandkms @hanasonmi @sstarryreads @lixie-dori @grlkisser331 @elllisaaa because they all asked hehe :> Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. Part 1 // Part 2

═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════

This was NOT how it was supposed to go.

After thinking he'd fucked up again with the party, Han had finally gotten the truth out of you and was ecstatic to learn you felt the same way toward him. Sure, the phone sex may have contributed greatly but he really was glad that you finally admitted what he'd hoped you felt towards him.

He didn't expect you to start ghosting him. Again.

As he tried for the fourth time to call you but it went straight to voice-mail, Han was starting to get worried. Had he crossed another invisible line? Broken some unspoken boundary.

Any other man might have given up, moved on by now.

But Han wasn't any other man.

He knew the solution to this problem and he knew you did, too. But he also knew that only one of you would look that solution in the eye. Only one of you would face it down and get to the bottom of it and unfortunately, it had to be him.

God, why did it have to be him?

As Han hung up on your voice-mail greeting, he groaned and tossed his phone down on his bed. He felt like he was going mad. He stared at the little device looking up at him, your contact info displayed on the little glass screen.

He'd saved your photo from Instagram, one he'd really liked. The same one you'd sent him before the two of you even hooked up.

Sighing, he resolved himself to his fate, running his fingers through his hair. "Okay," he whispered to himself as his thoughts ran at a hundred miles a minute as he planned out exactly how he was going to handle this. It had to be handled delicately but also firmly.

"Brownies? He likes brownies." He was murmuring to himself.

Suddenly, Han snapped his fingers. "No," he shook his head.

"Cheesecake. I need a cheesecake!"

In a mad dash, he darted towards his bed, fumbling as his fingers grabbed at his phone and started looking up bakeries, settling on one down the road with a high rating. He pushed the small phone button and held the device to his ear as he took a couple deep breaths as it rang.

When it finally clicked and someone answered, Han put on a smile despite the fact no one could see him before he spoke.

"Hi! I'd like to order a cheesecake."

After about the third call from Han, you finally turned your phone on Do Not Disturb. It wasn't like you were avoiding him exactly but it felt like you were avoiding him.

After the other night and the very explicit video call, you thought things would be much clearer but they weren't. If anything, you were even more confused about what to do.

After ending the call with Han, you'd fallen asleep relaxed and content but upon waking and looking back at the messages you started to feel the familiar feeling of guilt.

Like you were being disloyal to Felix.

As absurd as you knew it was, you couldn't shake that feeling no matter how hard you tried. It was stuck to you like glue.

You glanced down at the phone looking up at you innocently. Double tapping the screen brought up your notifications.

Four missed calls. You had four missed calls from Han.

Groaning, you grabbed the device and flipped it face down.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Felix looked up as you flipped your phone over, eyes glancing between your face and the device. His eyes narrowed as he continued to study your face. He'd seen that look before.

"Okay," he said, setting his own phone down, abandoning Genshin in favor of his best friend. You glanced up, eyes wide as Felix leaned forward. "Talk to me," Felix said. "What's going on?

You shook your head, feigning ignorance before shrugging. Felix pursed his lips. "Don't," he said simply. "I'm not stupid. You've been acting off for weeks. What gives?" His hunch was proven correct as your eyes darted around, focusing on the counter in front of you rather than looking him in the face.

"What's wrong, Y/N? You never shut me out like this."

You shook your head. "It's nothing. Just stress from work."

Felix rolled his eyes. "Did you forget you literally can't lie to me?" he asked, watching you as you shifted in your seat.

"Is this about a guy?" he asked, watching again as your body language gave you away. "Hah! I knew it!"

When you glared at him, he knew he'd hit the nail on the head. "God I'm such an idiot!" Felix laughed, lightly smacking his forehead with his palm. "Of course this is about a guy!"

"Felix," you said in a low tone. Almost like a warning.

"Oh come on, Y/N. I'm your best friend! How long did you think you could keep it from me?" You shook your head. "There's no guy!"

Felix knew you weren't being honest with him. He knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes. Yet despite that, he knew better than to push you. If you didn't want to talk about it, there wasn't much he could do except wait until you brought it up.

"Alright," Felix finally said in defeat. "There's no guy."

You leaned back in your seat, staring at Felix.

You knew him just as well as he knew you.

He knew you knew he wouldn't let this go easily.

When you turned to face him, Felix all but smiled with glee.

"Okay," you said shortly. "Hypothetically… let’s say there is a guy."

Felix's grin widened as he turned to face you.

"Hypothetically."

"Yes, so, hypothetically, there's this guy."

Felix nodded, humming as you spoke. "And you like him?"

"Hypothetically," you reminded him. "Ah, yes. Hypothetically. So, what's the issue? He doesn't like you back?"

Felix watched as you made a face. "No, he definitely does." Now he was confused. "So you like him and he likes you, correct?" Felix asked. "Hypothetically," he added quickly. You nodded.

"Then what's the issue?"

"He's one of my friend's friends."

Felix nodded slowly. "Does this friend know you like each other?"

At that, you shook your head. Despite what Felix assumed was your best efforts, he was starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. There was no hypothetical guy. There was a very real guy you liked but you were putting your friendship first-

"Okay, cut the bullshit," Felix said suddenly, making you look up in surprise. "Just tell me the truth." You sighed heavily. "That's the truth. I like this guy, he likes me, he's friends with one of my friends.

"Which friend?" Felix asked. You narrowed your eyes at him. "Does that matter?" you asked to which Felix shrugged. “I guess not.”

"So you can't date your friend's friend because?"

"We don't just like each other, Lix. We-" you hesitated, glancing up at him. Felix motioned for you to continue. "You what?"

"We slept together."

The words came out and surprised not only Felix but yourself.

"Oh," Felix responded. You quickly explained further.

"But we didn't meet through our friend! We met somewhere else."

Felix nodded as he started to understand. "But your friend doesn't know this?"

You shook your head, looking down at your hands in your lap.

"Do you plan on telling your friend?"

You shook your head again. "And why not?"

"Cause they'll be mad at me."

Felix let out a sigh, leaning forward to take one of your hands in his.

"If they're really your friend, they'll understand Y/N. Things happen. This guy, if you met him without your friend's help, then he's supposed to be in your life. Your friend can't be mad at you for that. It's not like you sought out their friend to sleep with him."

Felix rubbed the back of your hand soothingly.

You heard his phone buzz on the counter top. He grumbled and grabbed the device. "Shit," he cursed as he typed quickly, still holding your hand with his free one.

"Everything okay?" you asked as he pocketed his phone. "Yeah. It's just work. I've gotta go," he said, standing up. You nodded solemnly, clearly still uncertain of what you should do.

Felix took both of your hands, giving them a firm squeeze before leaning in to press a light kiss to your forehead. "I mean it, Y/N," he said softly. "Your friend can't fault you for meeting someone outside of their influence, let alone falling for that person."

You nodded again silently. Felix reached up to cup your cheek, caressing your cheek softly.

"And if he gets mad at you for that, he's not really your friend."

Your eyes looked up to meet his, a look of mild shock in them. Felix offered no further explanation, simply gave you a wink before he made for the door. "I'll see you later," he called to you, hand on the doorknob. You turned to look at him.

"Felix-" you started but he pulled the door open. "Later, okay?"

And just like that, Felix exited your apartment and you were suddenly alone with your phone again. 'Damn it.'

You turned back to the counter top, resting your forearms on the cool granite surface. 'Did he know? He couldn't, could he?' You sighed, dropping your head to rest in your arms. "There's no way he knows, right? He couldn't possibly know."

Sighing, you resolved yourself to checking your phone. You had a new unopened text from Han. You opened the message and allowed your eyes to scan the screen as you read.

Hanji: I'm gonna handle this. Don't worry. I'm not giving up that easily. So don't think ghosting me is gonna push me away. I like you a lot Y/N and when I like someone, I don't give up. I'm stubborn and dumb, you know this. So just wait for me. I'm gonna fix this.

You reread the text over and over, wondering just what he was going to handle. What he planned on fixing.

"What is he talking about?" you whispered as you stared at the screen, wracking your brain for any possible answer.

"What is he up to?"

Han glanced around the apartment. He'd worked from home that day so in between calls and paperwork, he'd managed to clean the entire apartment from top to bottom. He'd done all the laundry, the dishes, cleaned the bathrooms, the floors, the windows, even wiped down the appliances. He'd scrubbed the counter tops and even wiped down all the light switch plates.

He'd dusted every inch he could find, washed the cushion covers, cleaned between the cushions, everything he could think of. As he was finishing up, the buzzer had gone off and shortly after, the cheesecake he'd special ordered was delivered and sitting on the counter, perched atop a cake stand and covered.

Felix was due home any moment and Han was more than nervous.

He knew he had to talk to Felix since you were adamantly against telling Felix but if this was the only way to get you to stop panicking and freaking out, Han would do it. He would do anything if it meant you'd stop worrying and just focus on what was happening between the two of you.

He’d never felt this way before. Not the girl he dated in high school, not the random girl he’d had a situationship with.

Han ran his fingers through his hair, trying to decide what he would say to Felix when he arrived. Unfortunately, he didn’t get much time to think as the front door opened, making him jump and look up as his roommate entered the apartment.

Felix looked up and smiled at him.

“Hey! I didn’t think you’d be home already,” Felix said as he kicked his shoes off.

He looked extremely excited. “I got the stuff to make cookies tonight!”

Han watched as Felix entered the apartment and set the black plastic bag on the counter before setting his work backpack on one of the stools and shrugged off his jacket. “You wanna help?”

Felix’s question was meant to be harmless and Han knew Felix liked to bond over baking. Han wasn’t very good at it but he still liked to keep his roommate company while the latter was in the kitchen.

Han glanced down and picked at the nail polish on his fingers. A bad habit he’d picked up whenever he got too anxious. “Actually,” he started before looking to find Felix already looking at him as he emptied the bag.

“I have to talk to you.”

Felix’s smile fell. “That sounds serious,” the blond said as he tucked the bag away with the others and turned back around to face Han.

“I’m not in trouble, am I?” He asked jokingly. Han smiled, letting out a small laugh before shaking his head. “No,” he answered before his smile fell and he swallowed thickly. “But I might be.”

Felix’s smile immediately shifted to a look of concern as he moved around the kitchen counter. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he approached Han who directed him to sit before moving over to the covered cake pan and picking up the whole thing to move it to the counter.

“What’s this?” Felix asked as Han set it in front of him. “It’s a pre-apology,” Han explained as he moved to the cabinet that housed the plates, grabbing one and then grabbing a fork and moved back to where Felix sat, setting both the plate and the fork in front of his friend.

“It’s already cut,” Han explained as he stared at the cover of the cake pan and not at his friend. Felix looked positively confused now, looking from the cake pan to Han and back.

“Are you going to explain what you’re pre-apologizing for?” Felix asked, watching as Han nodded.

“Yeah uh,” Han said softly, his voice cracking slightly, forcing him to clear his throat. “I’ve done something. I don’t think it’s terrible,” he started. “But I’m still not sure how you’re going to react.”

Felix looked up at Han, keeping his face as neutral as possible.

Han finally sighed and took hold of the knob at the top of the cake pan cover, lifting it and revealing a very professional looking cheesecake.

Felix had to hold in a laugh as he looked at it.

“Where did you get this?” he asked. Han nibbled on his bottom lip as he stared at the cheesecake. “The bakery down the street,” he answered softly. Felix chuckled again before looking back at the cheesecake.

It was only then that he noticed there was something written on top. “They used some kind of fruit spread gel for the writing,” Han admitted. “I’m pretty sure they’ve never had anyone order something like this before.”

Felix’s eyes widened as he read the words scrawled across the top of the cheesecake in a very pretty font. Very curly and loopy letters spelled out the words ‘sorry I slept with your best friend.’

Upon reading it, Felix burst into a fit of laughter, falling back against the back of the stool. “Dude!” He shouted, head thrown back. “Are you serious?”

Han nodded, heart racing as he realized maybe your fears were founded. Maybe you were right and this was a really bad idea.

Until Felix continued to laugh, shaking his head. “I knew it.”

Han’s eyes widened as he observed his roommate. Was he… smiling?

“I suspected something was going on between you two,” Felix continued as he picked up the cake serving spatula and placed a piece of cheesecake on the plate before picking up the fork and digging in.

Han was utterly perplexed. “What? How?”

“The way she absolutely refused to come over here and meet you. The way you both acted at the party that night,” he said, taking a bite of cheesecake and almost sighing in contentment. “Oh that’s heavenly,” he said through a mouthful of cheesecake.

“Might wanna get yourself a piece before I eat all of this.”

Han moved quickly, grabbing another plate and fork before serving himself a piece of the cheesecake and taking a bite. Felix was right. It was heavenly. The bakery had outdone themself on short notice.

“She must have realized before she came to the party,” Felix continued, looking up from his plate to his friend. “Maybe when I showed her your instagram.” Han nodded thoughtfully.

“Oh man,” Felix said, shaking his head as the laughter started again.

“I really can’t believe this.”

Han set his fork down. “I really am sorry,” he said solemnly. Felix shook his head.

“Don’t be,” he said seriously. “I’ve been trying to hook the two of you up since before we moved in together.” It was Han’s turn to laugh this time.

“Wait, really?” He asked, covering his mouth to shield the huge bite of cheesecake he’d just taken. Felix nodded, laughing maniacally. “I figured the two of you would get on really well and I guess in a way, my feeling was right.”

Han scoffed but couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face. Knowing Felix had been gunning for the two of you the whole time made him feel a lot better. “So you really aren’t mad?” Han asked, heart fluttering when Felix shook his head again.

“Nah, honestly? You two would make such a good couple,” Felix said, cutting off a piece of cake with his fork before looking up. “If that’s what you want, of course.”

Han tilted his head to the side, aware of the fact he might look like a puppy being called by his name for the first time. “If you want to date her, I’m perfectly fine with it,” Felix explained.

“But if you just want to sleep with one another, I’m fine with that too.” Felix shrugged his shoulders, taking the bite of his piece.

He suddenly pointed at Han with the tines of his fork.

“But if you hurt her, I will hurt you,” he warned the brunet. Han smiled widely. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Han said as he finished his cheesecake. Felix nodded, shifting in his seat and taking another slice of cheesecake.

“I’m also going to assume ‘Baby’ was Y/N this whole time?” Felix asked suddenly. Han nodded. “Yeah.”

Felix nodded slowly. “I kind of figured,” he chuckled.

“Like I said, I don’t care if you date or just fuck but if you hurt her, you know the consequences,” Felix continued.

“Also, one more thing,” he added, sitting up suddenly, making Han jump from the sudden movement. “Please do not fuck her while i’m here,” he pleaded.

“At least warn me if you’re gonna bring her back here. That’s my best friend after all.”

Han nodded quickly, moving to set his plate and fork in the sink. “I’ll clean that later,” he said as he moved towards the door to put on his shoes.

“Wait, where are you going?” Felix asked as Han grabbed his jacket and keys.

“I’ve got a girl to ask out,” Han said with a smile, one Felix returned.

“Go get her,” he said with a wink.

“I’ll just stay here and test the quality of the rest of this cheesecake.”

You fished your keys out of your bag as you approached your door, ignoring the incessant buzzing of your phone. ‘Felix is persistent today,’ you thought as you finally got your door unlocked and let yourself into your apartment.

Once inside and your shoes removed, you finally pulled your phone out to see what your best friend had to say only to find it hadn’t been your best friend blowing up your phone at all. It was Han.

Hanji: I hope you’re home right now cause i’m coming over. Hanji: we need to talk and i’m not doing it over text or voice call Hanji: this needs to happen face to face Hanji: and don’t bother trying to ignore these messages, Felix told me your schedule. I know when you get off work.

Your heart started to pound.

‘What does he mean Felix told him? Why would Felix do that?’

You set your phone down and hurried through your apartment to your room to change quickly out of your work attire.

You’d just managed to get your blouse unbuttoned before you heard the ringing of your doorbell. “Shit,” you hissed, quickly rebuttoning the blouse.

You weren’t going to have time to change.

Clumsily, you stumbled through your apartment, making sure your clothes were on properly in your haste. Once you were certain you were properly clothed, you walked over to the door as a series of knocks rang out.

Turning on the camera feed you were greeted by the sight of Han standing outside your door. He was dressed in a black button down and a pair of black slacks. ‘He must have not changed after work,’ you thought as you prepared yourself to face him.

Pulling open the door drew his attention and he turned his head to look at you.

A beat of silence fell over the two of you as you both stood there, staring at each other. Finally Han cleared his throat. “You look nice,” he noted, his voice soft. You fought back the urge to smile, nodding towards him.

“You, too.” Han wasn’t as good at hiding his emotions, a smile forming before he dropped it, clearing his throat again. “Could I come in? I really wanna talk and I don’t want to do this where your neighbors might see or hear.”

Your heart hammered in your chest.

You knew you had two options. You could let him in and deal with the consequences of that decision or you could turn him away and possibly never hear from him again.

The choice was made for you as you stood aside and motioned for him to enter.

Once he stepped inside, you shut the self locking door and turned to watch as he moved further into the living room. Seeing him in your apartment again was surreal, especially after learning that he was your best friend’s roommate.

“Do you want something to drink?”

Your mouth spoke before you had the chance to think about it. Han turned to look at you.

“Just water is fine.”

You moved to the kitchen to get him his request, ignoring the way his eyes followed your movements.

You grabbed one of the bottles of water from the fridge before shutting the door and turning to move around the kitchen island to give it to him.

Han thanked you, taking the bottle but didn’t open it. Instead, he held onto it for a couple seconds before sighing and setting it on the counter before taking your hand and leading you over to the couch, pulling you down to sit with him.

“I don’t know how to say this delicately so I’m just gonna come out and say it,” he said, keeping your hand in his, moving his other hand to incase yours.

“I talked to Felix.”

You looked up from his hands to his face. ‘He what?’

“Now, before you get mad,” Han said quickly, sensing you were about to explode. “I did it because I’m tired of this back and forth thing between us. I wanted you to not have to worry about what Felix would think. I wanted to get how I feel about you off my chest to him,” he explained.

“So you went behind my back?”

Han shook his head. “This was about me coming clean to my roommate about my feelings for his best friend.”

“So he doesn’t know we slept together?”

Han shook his head. “No, he does.”

You pulled your hand from his and stood up.

“God damn it, Han!” you cursed as you started to walk away, wanting to put some distance between you. Han followed, ignoring your want for space.

He clearly wasn’t done talking.

“Okay, maybe I should have talked to you first but I knew how you’d react. You’d tell me no and that it’s a bad idea-”

“Because it is!”

You were upset. Felix must be so angry with you and that’s why he hasn’t messaged you since lunchtime.

How dare Han disregard your worries and feelings.

A frown crossed Han’s features as he stared at you.

“It wasn’t a bad idea,” he answered. You scoffed, turning away as you continued to pace.

“It wasn’t! Felix doesn’t even care!”

You stopped in your tracks and slowly turned to face Han as he moved around the kitchen counter to where you stood. He took both your hands in his.

“He’s not mad,” he repeated.

“In fact, he’s been trying to set us up this whole time.”

“He what?” you asked incredulously.

Han nodded, an amused smile forming on his face.

“That’s what he told me. That’s why he’s been trying to introduce us. He’d hoped that by introducing us, I’d forget about ‘the girl that ghosted me’ and you’d move on from whatever guy was tormenting you. Of course he didn’t realize that we,” he said, motioning between the two of you, “were those people.”

You stared at Han, searching his expression for any hint of dishonesty but found nothing. Only bright innocent eyes staring back at you.

“He really doesn’t care?” you asked softly.

Han nodded. “He wants us together. He only asks that we keep any mushy stuff to a minimum around him. I’m also supposed to warn him if I bring you home.”

You let out a laugh, quickly covering your mouth with your hand. “Sorry,” you said softly. “He doesn’t have to worry about that. If anything, we’ll just come back here,” you murmured.

“W-we will?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I don’t have a roommate.”

A smile spread slowly across Han’s face as the meaning of your words set in.

“So does this mean…”

You nodded again. “I guess since Felix knows, there’s nothing else keeping us from seeing each other,” you added.

Han let out a heavy sigh before pulling you into a tight hug. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that,” he whispered into your shoulder. "You're squeezing me too tight," you gasped. Han quickly loosened his grip but didn't let go entirely.

"Sorry," he murmured. "I'm just so excited."

You chuckled at his enthusiasm, finally allowing yourself to relax in his hold. "If I asked you on a date, would you say yes?" Han asked suddenly, making you chuckle again.

"I don't know," you joked, pulling back to look at him.

"I'd have to think about that."

Han's expression looked mildly confused and worried for a split second until he noticed the mischievous smirk on your face. He playfully shook you.

"Yah!" he whined. "You had me going for a second!"

You cackled loudly at his pouts.

"I'm sorry," you cooed, taking his face in your hands.

"Would a date make up for it?"

Han pouted again. "Well now I don't know if I wanna go on a date with you!" he huffed, puffing up his cheeks indignantly. You merely shrugged. "Okay," you replied, starting to pull away.

"Wait!" Han shouted, grabbing you and pulling you back.

"I do! I wanna go on a date with you."

You smiled sweetly at him. "Then let's go on a date," you replied.

"I just need to do something first," you added, giving him a quick peck before escaping his grasp and moving to collect your phone from the counter as he followed.

"You can't just kiss me and then dip like that," he whined.

You ignored him and unlocked the screen with Han behind you, his chin resting on your shoulder. "Whatcha doin?" He asked, hands moving to your waist as you opened your text chat with Felix and started typing.

"Thanking Felix," you answered. Han pressed his lips against your neck briefly. "What for?" His voice was soft and full of genuine curiosity. "I wanna thank him for not being upset with us."

You: thank you. truly

Felix's response was almost instantaneous.

Felix: I told you I wouldn't be mad. I'm not. I'm actually glad it's Han. Felix: I wanted to hook the two of you up since before he and I moved in together but the timing was never right Felix: at least it all worked out in the end, right? You: yeah, I guess it did 😌 Felix: just pls promise that you guys will be smart and use protection and not fuck in the apartment while I'm there 🤢 You: okay dad 🙄 Felix: I'm serious about the protection thing. I'm too young to be an uncle

You heard Han scoff lightly in your ear. "He's acting like he doesn't have an older sister.” You laughed at his remark as you typed a reply.

You: i’m on bc, you know this but we’ll be careful. I promise

After sending the text, you set your phone back down and turned around in Han’s hold, placing your arms over his shoulders and playing with his hair. “So when are we going out?” You asked, trying not to smile as he made an exaggerated thinking face.

“Well, there’s one of those pop up fairs coming to the area in about a week. We could go there?” Han asked. You nodded slowly. “On the condition we don’t go on any roller coasters,” you said. Han nodded before leaning in to steal a kiss.

“Agreed. I’m not ready to die.”

Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. The entire week leading up to the day, Han was nervously awaiting for a text from you saying you’d changed your mind. Luckily, that text never came but it didn’t ease his nerves one bit.

Not to mention that Felix was constantly asking him what they planned to do on their date. Han had no problem telling his roommate and was thankful that Felix was there to reassure him that the plan was good and that you would love it.

He also offered a few tips about what you liked and what you definitely didn’t like. Han wondered how Felix knew all this but then again, you were his best friend and had been for a while. Felix had received a picture from Y/N trying to figure out what to wear and more than once, Han had tried to sneak a glance at Felix’s phone as the latter gave his opinion.

Felix refused to let Han know what you planned to wear because he wanted Han to be surprised.

“It’s better if you just see.”

So, if Han hadn’t been nervous before, he certainly was now as he dug through his closet. He’d pulled out several articles of clothing but nothing seemed to be appropriate enough for a first date. The only thing he could count on was the leather jacket he’d set near the head of his bed and tried to base an outfit around that.

He was so engrossed in what he was doing, he didn’t even hear his door open or Felix enter the room.

“What are you doing?”

Han turned to find Felix standing in the doorway, staring at the mess that coated his bed and the floor with an amused smile.

“My date with Y/N is today,” Han said quickly, turning back to his closet. Felix chuckled, folding his arms over his chest as he watched as Han continued to push items aside.

“Okay. So why are you panicking?” Felix asked as he walked further into the room, looking around at the mess.

“Because I want to impress her,” Han answered as he pulled out a different jacket and looked over it.

Felix looked down at the bed and grabbed a pair of black jeans.

“Want some help?”

Han turned to look at his roommate as the latter picked up the leather jacket he had set aside. “I thought I’d wear that,” he said as he turned back to the clothes still hanging in his closet. Felix glanced around at the clothes laying on the bed, still on the hangers before looking up at the open closet.

He moved around the edge of the bed and grabbed a pair of black jeans. “Here,” he said softly, handing both items to Han and starting to look through the shirts.

Han held up the black fitted jeans and then looked up as Felix pulled out a shirt, only to shake his head and place it back on the rack and continue looking.

“Y/N doesn’t really care too much about this kind of stuff,” Felix said as he looked through Han’s clothes. “She’s really simple.”

Han smiled to himself. “For someone who doesn’t care too much about fashion, she always seems to look good,” he remarked, making Felix smile.

“She used to be really awful at it, actually.”

Han looked up quickly as Felix pulled out another shirt. It was a plain white tee with a splash of color across the torso at an angle. “She lived exclusively in hoodies and sweats during college,” Felix explained as he handed Han the shirt.

“It wasn’t until senior year that she broke out of that phase and started dressing up and finding her style,” he added with a smile. “She still has trouble from time to time but she has me to help her out.”

Han returned the smile, looking at the shirt before looking back up at his roommate. “And it would seem I also have you to help me.”

Once the outfit had been chosen, Felix helped Han put the clothes on the bed away, handing them back to Han so he could hang them up properly in his closet.

“What was Y/N like in college?” Han asked as he took another pair of jeans from Felix to put away. Felix snorted, no doubt remembering some fond memories.

“She was kind of annoying. She was one of those girls who only cared about grades,” Felix answered, handing over more clothes. “Not at all like the people I usually hung around.”

Han tilted his head. “How did you two become friends?”

Felix looked up as he handed Han another hanger. “We actually met on the South Lawn,” he answered. “She was laying on a blanket reading by herself and I was playing frisbee with Changbin and Hyunjin when I tripped over her.”

Han suddenly whipped around.

“Whoa, wait. You tripped over her? Like over her body?”

Felix nodded, laughing as he remembered the incident.

“Yeah, well, her legs,” he answered.

“It was during finals before spring break. We’d all just finished our finals and were spending the rest of the day relaxing and hanging out. Y/N was reading some book with a title about as long as my arm.”

Han smiled as he tried to picture you laying on a blanket under a tree or something similar, a book in your hands as you read and enjoyed the weather.

“She actually picked a spot quite out of the way but I still somehow managed to stumble over her and injure myself.”

Han watched as Felix ran his fingers through his hair before continuing his story.

“I expected her to be condescending or something. We all knew her as that studious, nerdy girl but she was surprisingly sweet. Not at all like her reputation. She immediately asked if I was okay and started looking at my ankle which I later learned I twisted tripping over her ankle.”

Felix shook his head as he chuckled.

“Poor thing, her ankle bruised and swelled up for a week. She had to use one of those scooter things to rest her leg on and wheel around,” Felix explained as Han listened in fascination.

“We became friends shortly after that and through me she met Hyunjin and Changbin. She sort of became our baby in a way. I remember the first time we took her to a party.”

Han sat on the edge of his bed. “What was that like?”

Felix looked at Han and took a seat next to him. “Stressful,” he answered.

“We agreed that we wouldn’t hover over her and let her blossom and maybe make some new friends but when one of the upperclassmen tried to give her a random drink and she almost accepted it, Changbin had to step in and tell the guy to piss off. From then on, one of us was always by her side at parties until we felt she had learned well enough who to trust and who not to trust.”

Han tried to picture you as the meek, timid creature Felix was describing but he couldn’t do it. He could only see you as the strong, confident woman he’d come to know.

“Did she date in college?” Han asked suddenly, surprising himself and felix.

Felix shook his head. “Not exactly.” Han tilted his head in curiosity.

Felix sighed and turned to face his roommate a little more. “Okay, I’m going to tell you this once and then I never want to hear about it again,” he explained. Han nodded quickly, excited for a glimpse into your past.

“Remember at our housewarming party? Ryujin thought Y/N and I had hooked up in the past?”

Han’s smile fell.

He remembered that night quite vividly despite the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. His mind was reeling with what Felix was about to tell him.

“Well, it’s partially true,” Felix continued. “We’ve never had sex.”

Han relaxed after Felix’s admission.

“But that doesn’t mean we haven’t… fooled around.”

And just like that, Han’s stomach tightened in knots.

“F-fooled around?”

Felix nodded. “Nothing crazy,” he reassured Han. “It was when we were still getting to know each other. There were a lot of new feelings, things she’d never really experienced before.”

Han listened to Felix’s explanation in silence, only nodding occasionally.

“What have you guys done?” Han asked, not entirely sure he wanted to hear the answer.

“We’ve kissed. A lot actually. There were more than a few times I walked her back to her dorm and it ended with us making out in her room. It never went any further than kissing and getting handsy,” Felix said as he glanced at Han.

“I’ve also never seen her entirely naked.”

Han perked up.

“Really?” Felix shook his head. “I’ve only ever seen her in her underwear,” he answered. The two fell silent for a moment.

“When did you two stop?” Han asked finally.

Felix furrowed his brow as he thought back. “Probably about a week before she and Changbin hooked up,” Felix replied. “Which is probably why I felt so weird about them sleeping together,” he added.

“Whatever was going on between us ended amicably and then she and Changbin just… yeah. It felt weird but they agreed that it was a one time deal and surprisingly things didn’t feel awkward as a group.” Han nodded slowly.

“And you’re really okay with this?” Han asked, meeting his roommate’s gaze.

“Me and Y/N?”

Felix nodded, a smile spreading across his face. “Y/N is my best friend and sure we have a short history but it was never going to be more with us. She deserves someone who I know is good,” he answered.

“I’ve always felt like the two of you would be really good for each other,” he added.

“I can’t think of anyone I’d want her with more than you.”

Han smiled fondly at his friend’s words and glanced down at the clothes still in his hands. He stood up quickly.

“Well, I’d better get ready then. Don’t want to keep your best friend waiting.”

Felix smiled and stood up as well, moving to the door before turning to look back at Han one last time. “And I mean it,” he said suddenly.

“You hurt her, I hurt you,” Felix warned, pointing at Han with a serious expression. Han nodded. “I like her too much to hurt her,” he answered.

“She’s more precious to me than that.”

Felix nodded nonchalantly. “Good answer,” he said with a smirk, exiting the room and leaving Han to change and get ready for his date.

Saturday finally came and you were thankful Han had suggested Saturday instead of Friday. You had to run some errands in the morning and had managed to get everything done. Han had planned to come get you in the evening, and after a shower, applying some makeup, and putting on an outfit that you totally didn’t pick out while on Facetime with Felix, you were ready.

The buzzer went off and you ran to check the camera feed. It was Han on the other side, which made sense as you weren’t waiting on anyone else.

You took a deep breath and turned the knob, pulling the door open. Han smiled at you and looked you over quickly. “You ready?” He asked, clearly having a hard time containing his excitement.

You nodded. “Yeah, almost. Come in.”

Han crossed the threshold, letting the door shut behind him as you moved to grab the tiny clutch purse you’d paired with your outfit. He continued to watch you as you made sure you had everything you needed. 'Keys, money, phone, lip gloss...'

Once you were certain you had everything, you quickly slipped on your comfortable high tops and announced you were ready.

Han opened the door and let you walk through first before following, making sure your door shut. He even gave the knob a little jiggle to make sure it was locked.

The ride down to the lobby was quiet until Han broke the silence by clearing his throat.

“You get all your errands done earlier?”

You could almost see him mentally scolding himself for asking that. It was sort of cute in a way. You nodded, fighting the urge to smile.

“Yeah,” you answered. “Shopping is done for the week.”

Han chuckled, tilting his head. “I usually do all my shopping on Sundays,” he admitted. You nodded in response. “Most people do,” you answered.

“I do it on Saturday so I don’t feel rushed on Sundays to get things done.”

Han blinked, staring at you silently before finally speaking.

“Holy shit. I think you might be onto something there.”

Your cheeks burned as the elevator reached the lobby and the doors opened. Han led you out of the lift and past the security guard. Outside, parked in one of the visitor spaces was a black Jeep Renegade with tinted windows.

You’d never seen his car before and it dawned on you that there was probably a lot you didn’t know about Han. How could you anyway? You’d slept together one time and then ghosted the poor guy.

You decided you would have to make up for that and now you could.

Han opened your door for you, giving you a cheeky grin. You thanked him and climbed in, looking around the interior as he jogged around the front end of the car and got into the driver’s seat.

You buckled your seatbelt as he turned the engine on. “We’re gonna park as close as I can,” he announced as he put the car into drive and pulled out to follow the flow of traffic. “But we will probably still have to walk.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “More time we get to spend together,” you said simply, looking away to look out the window. You didn’t see the way Han’s lips twitched, fighting a smile.

The drive was mostly silent until you couldn’t handle it anymore and flipped on the stereo. “What kind of music are you listening to?” You asked as you did, not giving Han a chance to react as he tried to focus on driving.

A song came on that you weren’t expecting.

“Is…” you trailed off. “Is this Shakira?” You asked, looking up at him. He looked panicked. “I like some of her music,” he admitted, making you laugh. “What? This is a good song!” He retorted as your laughter subsided.

“I didn’t say it was bad,” you said, shaking your head as you fought the giggles.

“I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Han seemed to relax, his fingers on the wheel loosening a little as he sat back in his seat. “You can change it if you want,” he murmured, making you fight the urge to giggle again. It wasn't like you were teasing him. You genuinely did not expect to hear Shakira when you turned the stereo on.

“I’ll leave it. See what comes on next.”

Han whined as you laughed. “Yah! Don’t tease me!”

The ride wasn’t very long and upon arriving near the fairgrounds, you could see that the roads had been blocked for all motor traffic and a uniformed official was redirecting everyone.

Han followed the line of cars and turned into a parking garage.

Finding a space proved to be a lot harder than either of you expected but near the top of the garage, almost eight floors up, you finally spotted someone pulling out of the spot. Han waited patiently, allowed the car to pass before finally pulling smoothly into the spot and parking the car.

“Finally!” He groaned as he shut the car off. You giggled to yourself as you released yourself from the confines of your seatbelt and turned to open the door.

Han stopped you quickly.

“Wait!” he said loudly, making you jump and turn to face him. “What?” you asked, panicking. Han got out and hurried around the back of the car to open your door for you. You fought the urge to both roll your eyes and smirk.

“You didn’t have to open it again, you know.”

Han shrugged his shoulders, a smile playing at his lips. “I wanted to.”

The two of you headed through the dim parking garage towards the elevators and you were able to beat Han to press the button, making him pout slightly. “You don’t have to do everything!” you reminded him. He grumbled about wanting to and you decided to let him do things his way. It was kind of cute how much he was trying to impress you like you weren’t already smitten with him.

But he didn’t need to know that just yet.

The ride down to the ground level was quick and uneventful but you took the time to look over Han to see what he’d chosen to wear. He had on a pair of black fitted jeans tucked into black boots. He wore a white tee with a splash of color across the midsection with the hem tucked into his pants showing off the black leather belt he’d worn. Over the shirt, he sported a moto style black leather jacket over a gray zip up hoodie.

He looked incredible and you suddenly felt very self conscious. It wasn’t like you didn’t dress up either but Han made everything he wore look like it came from some kind of catalog. It was impressive and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t swooning even more.

Once on street level, Han boldly took your hand in his and led you towards the entrance to the fairgrounds. It wasn’t a long walk but it was still enough time for the two of you to talk a bit.

“So we agreed, no roller coasters, right?” Han asked as the two of you walked, hand in hand. You tore your attention from the way your hand felt in his. The warmth was nice as your hands were a bit chilly due to the evening air.

“Right,” you confirmed with a nod. “Those things are terrifying enough at amusement parks but at pop up fairs? There’s no way I'd ever get on one of those.”

The sounds from the fair started to reach you as you approached. The screams of delight from riders on the various amusement rides, the excited yells of children no doubt urging their parents to hurry up.

You subconsciously squeezed Han’s hand and he gave you a reassuring squeeze.

“Crowds make you nervous too?” He asked. You nodded wordlessly.

Han smiled as he led the way, slowing his pace just a little.

“Me too.”

You looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “I struggle a lot with my social anxiety,” he admitted. To say you were shocked would be an understatement.

“Social anxiety?” You asked, trying to confirm you heard him correctly.

He nodded. “Yeah, doesn’t seem like it?”

You shook your head.

“With how well you fit in at that house party, I never would have guessed.”

Han smiled, letting out a small huff of a laugh. “Yeah. Alcohol helps with the setting but only if I have a couple. Any more than that, and it gets really bad.”

You nodded in response. “I know how you feel. Drinking socially has always been difficult to find a good cut off point. When I’m alone it’s not as bad but in a group setting, I never know when to cut off because of the anxiety.

You arrived at the entrance to the fair, joining the line to get tickets.

“Look,” he said, drawing your attention. “I know we agreed on no rollercoasters,”

“But what about ferris wheels?”

You followed his line of sight and saw the massive steel contraption looming over the fairgrounds. You shook your head.

“No. No way,” you answered.

You had a thing about heights and this was one of the biggest ferris wheels you’d ever seen. Han pouted briefly. You tore your gaze from his face and noticed another ride in the distance and came up with an idea.

“Two please,” Han said suddenly and you realized the line had moved quickly and you were already at the entrance. He paid the fee and thanked the cashier as she gave you your wristbands. Once inside, Han helped you put yours on and you helped him put his on before looking around.

It was certainly a sight to see. Lots of stalls had been set up with various purposes. Stalls for food, games, and even a few information stalls lined invisible alleys, the bright lights pulling the eye and hopefully a few patrons.

“So, where to first?” Han asked, looking around before looking at you.

“Shall we just walk around?” you asked. “Get a feel for what’s going on?”

Han nodded, holding out his hand for you to take.

You took it without hesitation and followed his lead as he started down one of the many alleys lined with stalls. You kept your head on a swivel, turning every direction in an effort to see everything the fair had to offer.

“I didn’t realize it would be so busy,” Han said softly as you reached a small crowded area. He looked around for an easy way through but found none. “Let’s just go around,” he offered but you weren’t easily swayed.

Squeezing his hand a little tighter, you carefully started through the crowd, calling out “excuse me’s” and “coming through’s.” Before long, you’d both made it through the crowd and ended up on the other side. “That wasn’t too bad, right?” You asked, looking towards Han who shook his head as if shaking whatever thoughts he was having away. “I guess not,” he chuckled.

“Oh look!” you exclaimed, your eye being caught by a stall nearby.

“Corn dogs!”

After dragging Han over and looking over the menu, you settled on your orders and waited patiently for the corndogs to be made. You’d chosen to get frozen lemonade slushies to drink. Yours was strawberry while Han’s was blackberry.

“How is it?” You asked, nodding towards his lemonade. He looked down at the cup and shrugged. “It’s alright,” he answered. You grabbed his cup and leaned in to take a sip. It was pretty good. Han stared at you with wide eyes until you offered yours for him to try. He took a sip and almost groaned.

“That’s so much better,” he whined. You laughed before grabbing his and handing him yours. “Here,” you said. Han shook his head, trying to take the blackberry one back but you held it away. “It’s fine,” you reassured him. “I actually like this flavor.”

Han sighed, silently admitting defeat before taking a sip of the strawberry lemonade again. “Thank you,” he said, giving you a smile.

Your order number was called and Han quickly handed you the strawberry drink, moving to grab your corndogs. With your food in hand, the two of you walked away from the stall, finding a stone planter to sit on and sat next to each other.

The corn dogs were amazing. You’d chosen a half hotdog, half mozzarella corn dog with panko crumbs. You added a sprinkling of powdered cheese and garlic sauce on it. Han had gone for a mozzarella one with sugar on the outside and a sweet chili sauce.

You took a bite of your corn dog, nearly moaning at the taste but felt that might not be appropriate. Han watched your expression with an amused look before taking a bite of his own corn dog. It was your turn to watch him hold back whatever sound he was about to make.

“I haven’t had a good corn dog in a long time,” he said, covering his mouth as he spoke through a mouthful of food. You nodded. “It's been way too long.”

The two of you sat as you ate and sipped on your drinks.

“You want to try it before I eat it all?” Han asked, holding up his mostly finished corn dog. You nodded. He held it up for you to take but you had a better idea.

You grabbed his wrist, bringing the corn dog closer and took a bite.

He was right. It was really good. The sugar paired with the cheese and the chili sauce was a good combination. Han watched as you licked your lips and nodded. “Oh, that’s really good,” you admitted.

Han reached up suddenly.

“You got a little something,” he said softly. You held still as he used his thumb to wipe the corner of your lips. You watched as he brought his thumb to his own lips and licked. “Chili sauce,” he said with a smirk. Your heart was racing and your core was suddenly hot.

‘Why did he have to do that right here? Right now?’

You cleared your throat and picked up your lemonade, taking a long sip. Han finished his corn dog and got up to toss the trash away before returning to sit beside you, much closer than he was before.

You tried to focus on eating your corn dog but the heat radiating off his body made focusing difficult. Not to mention the way he was watching you eat. You turned to look at him, meeting his gaze. “Did you want to try it?” You asked, holding up the corn dog. He shook his head. “Nope.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why are you watching me then?” You asked in a low voice. Han’s smile morphed into a smirk. “No reason,” he said, obviously lying.

“If you want a taste, you just have to-”

Your words were cut off when Han suddenly pressed his lips to yours. You stiffened briefly before leaning into the kiss. You felt his tongue swipe over your bottom lip but he suddenly pulled away.

You look at him confused. He only smiled more.

“That garlic sauce is really good.”

Your cheeks burned.

‘That’s not what I meant when I said taste,’ you thought to yourself trying to hide your furiously blushing face as you took another sip of the cool lemonade slushie.

When you finally finished your food, Han stood up and took your trash to toss it before returning to your side. “Come here,” he said, holding his hand out. You took it, allowing him to pull you to your feet and lead you away from the area.

The two of you arrived in another alley where the stalls were only games.

Han continued to walk slowly down the way, still holding your hand in his warm one until he stopped, looking at one particular stall. You followed his gaze and noticed it was one of those ball throwing games where you had to knock down so many of the glass bottles.

A classic but also the hardest of carnival games. “That’s really cute,” he said, pointing at a huge plushie hanging from the ceiling of the stall. It was one of the cutest teddy bears you’d seen in a long time. “It is really cute.”

Your comment didn’t go unnoticed by Han who let go of your hand to walk towards the stall. “Han,” you said quickly, following him. “These games are a scam, you don’t have to!” you said under your breath as you both approached the counter, stopping beside him.

The attendant had already launched into his sales pitch and you sighed in defeat as Han purchased the max amount of tries. “Han, really,” you said as he turned to give you a quick smile.

Needless to say, he wasn’t able to knock any of the bottles down. He managed to hit a few but they stood proud, knocking down only Han’s self esteem.

The attendant shrugged, the same smug smile on his face. “Better luck next time, buddy,” he said. For some reason, his response really irked you so you pulled out a note from your bag and stepped forward.

“Three tries,” you said blankly, slapping the bill down on the counter. The attendant gave you the same smug smile as he took your bill. Han placed his hand on your arm. “Y/N, really it’s okay,” he said softly. You shook your head. He’d been humiliated and shown nothing but disdain from the stall attendant.

You were determined to wipe that smug smile off the guy’s face.

“I got this,” you said to Han with a warm smile.

Han watched as you picked up the first ball and lined up the shot. You knew the trick to these games was about accuracy and not so much about force.

Once you were sure your aim was right, you threw the ball.

It hit the center bottle on the bottom of the shelf and like magic, all of the bottles came tumbling down, shocking both Han and the attendant. You smiled triumphantly and instead of the giant teddy, you pointed at another giant plushie in the shape of a quokka. “I want that one.”

Along with the plushie, you also managed to talk the attendant out of two fuzzy brown headbands with animal ears on them.

You walked away with the difference of your fee as it had only taken one try to knock the bottles down. Han had already put on the animal ears and was carrying the plushie as you walked down the walkway together slowly.

“I can’t believe you got it one try!” Han said excitedly as you put on your matching headband and followed behind him. He turned to wait for you to catch up, the excitement was evident on his face and it was worth every cent to see him light up like that after his repeated missed shots.

When you caught up, Han took your hand and kept pace with you. “This thing is huge,” he continued, squeezing the plushie with one arm, the widest grin on his face. “You can keep it,” you said with your own smile on your face. Han turned to look at you. “No, you won it,” he said as you both slowed to a stop.

“I won it for you,” you replied simply. Han’s cheeks turned pink as he glanced down at the plushie and then up. His attention shifted. “Oh wait, here,” he said quickly, shoving the plushie into your arms and hurrying past you.

Turning around you noticed a collection of crane machines as well as other vending machines.

“Han, seriously!” you said as you followed him. “It’s okay!”

Han shook his head as he fed a singular bill to the crane machine.

“Which one do you want?” 

You sighed and glanced inside the glass windows, eyes scanning the pile of plushies. You noticed a cute little red panda plushie in the back corner. Han followed your gaze and smiled widely. “Consider it done.”

You whined. “Han, really it’s fine! You don’t have to waste your money!”

Han didn’t listen as he took the control stick and started to moved the crane over to the back corner. You watched as he carefully positioned the crane over the panda. He glanced at you with a smug smile before pressing the button.

You watched as the crane moved down and grabbed the red panda by the head. It slowly moved up, bringing the panda with it and carried it over to the drop slot, dropping it down the chute. You watched in awe as he fished the plushie out and looked it over. 

He handed it to you, taking the quokka from you with a smile.

“I may suck at carnival games,” he explained, making you look up from the cute little plushie in your hands. “But I’m a pro at crane games.”

The two of you continued to walk through the fairgrounds, weaving through the crowds that were beginning to thin out. Han couldn’t help but glance over at you as you walked slowly. The sun was setting, making way for the stars and moon. 

It was a beautiful night, but now that the sun was starting to set, a chill was setting in. Han glanced over at you once again. Felix was right. You’d chosen a very cute outfit. 

You’d paired a white skirt that reached the middle of your thighs with a white fitted cropped shirt sporting a cute pink graphic and a cropped pastel purple knitted cardigan.

It was cute to be certain, but Han felt it couldn’t be that warm and his suspicions were confirmed when a breeze blew through the fairgrounds and you visibly shivered. Stopping, Han set the quokka plush on the nearest surface and quickly shrugged off his leather jacket.

You stopped and turned to see where Han had gone and watched as he picked up the plush and crossed the short distance to hand you the jacket. “Here,” he said softly. 

You stared from the jacket up to him and back. 

“I’m okay,” you lied but Han wasn’t having it. 

“I saw you shiver, Y/N,” he said, calling your bluff. “Please take it.”

You puffed out your cheeks but obliged, tucking the red panda plushie between your knees as you pulled on his jacket. Han tried to ignore the thoughts that started to swirl about his brain as he glanced at the plush between your legs.

As soon as the jacket was on, you grabbed the plushie and stuck your tongue out at him, making him chuckle.

The two of you walked silently around the fairgrounds. Han was about to ask if you were ready to leave when you stopped, looking up at the ferris wheel. “Tell you what,” you finally said, turning to look at him. “I’ll make a deal with you.”

Han nodded. “I’m listening.”

“I’ll ride that with you,” you said pointing at the ferris wheel. Han felt excitement bubble in his chest.

“If you ride that with me.”

He quickly followed the direction you were pointing and his stomach sank upon seeing you were pointing at the swing ride. ‘Fuck.’

He took a deep breath and sighed before turning to look at you, smirking up at him. “Fine,” he said, shrugging and trying to seem nonchalant.

On the surface, he was calm but deep down he was freaking out.

The line for the swing ride wasn’t long as a lot of the crowd had dispersed due to the setting sun and families were no doubt heading home for dinner.

It only took a couple minutes to get through the line and once it was finally your turn, Han followed begrudgingly behind you. The attendant allowed you to keep your plushies as you settled down into the seat at one of the very ends of the swing.

Han settled the quokka plush between the two of you as the lap bar came down. “Oh, I hate this,” he said softly as you scooted as close as possible despite the giant animal plush between you. “It’s not so bad,” you said with a smile.

“You don’t like ferris wheels but you like this?” Han asked as the rest of the seats started to fill. You nodded. “I don’t like heights,” you admitted. “But I love swings.”

Han sighed deeply. “I don’t like fast rides,” he replied, looking around as the attendant closed the gate and started checking the lap bars. He felt your hand grab his gently. 

“If you want to close your eyes, I won’t judge you,” you said. 

If it weren’t for your genuine tone, he would have thought you were making fun of him but it was reassuring that you didn’t diminish or play off his dislike of the ride.

He let out a groan as the ride started, the mechanical whirring in the background as the hydraulics propelled the ride, slowly building momentum. Han squeezed his eyes shut, taking your hand tightly.

As the ride slowly started to gain momentum and height Han sank lower and lower, leaning into the plush, keeping his eyes shut tight. You couldn’t help but laugh as he let out a loud scream as the ride reached its full height. You burst out in laughter at his reaction.

“Stop!” He shouted feebly. “It’s so fast!” You felt bad for laughing but how could you not when he shrieked like that? “Make it stop!”

You leaned back against the seat and let out a loud laugh, enjoying the performance as the swing started to slow. Han opened his eyes slowly, letting out a whimper as the ride came to a stop.

You glanced over at him as he shook his head, quickly trying to salvage his image and sat up, looking over at you. “Please,” he begged. “Do not tell Felix.” You laughed again and nodded. “I won’t,” you promised.

“Thank you.”

Once you were finally released from the lap bars, Han made a beeline for the closest bench to sit down and regain his composure, leaving you to haul the giant quokka. 

“Sorry,” he gasped as you sat next to him. “I hate those kinds of rides.”

You tilted your head in response. “Then why did you ride it?”

Han looked up to meet your gaze. “Because I really want to ride the ferris wheel with you.” Your heart fluttered at the thought that he would put himself through such torment just to get to do something he liked with you.

You made a mental note of never making him ride another swing again.

Once the feeling had returned to his legs and he could stand on his own, Han led the way to the ferris wheel, carrying the quokka again.

The line for the ferris wheel was longer than the one for swing so it took longer to get onto the ride. You couldn’t help but glance up at the top, your stomach fluttering with nerves as you stared. You felt Han place an arm around your shoulders. “I’ll be right next to you the whole time,” he said reassuringly as you approached the attendant.

He allowed you to keep your plushies and showed you to the next empty cart. Han let you in first and sat closest to the exit, placing the quokka between you again. You glanced around nervously as he got settled.

Noticing this, Han had the attendant wait while he changed places with the plushie, putting it on the outside and slid next to you. The lap bar was locked in place and the ferris wheel moved backwards to load the next passengers.

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself as the ferris wheel slowly crept around, sending you higher and higher into the air. Han rested his arm on the seat behind you, pulling you flush against him. “It’s not so bad, right?” He asked, rubbing your arm soothingly over his jacket.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, nibbling nervously. Han noticed and gently pulled your lip from your teeth with his thumb. “Hey,” he said softly.

“I’m right here.”

His words were meant to be reassuring but the simple touch of his thumb against your lip had your mind going places it definitely shouldn’t be while you were riding a ferris wheel.

You leaned in, pushing his hand away and pressing your lips against his. Han welcomed the gesture, bringing one hand to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. The cart jostled as the ride continued, breaking your kiss apart.

You were about to look around but Han stopped you, placing a hand on your cheek and forcing you to look at him. “Don’t,” he said softly. “Don’t look around. Just look at me,” he added, thumb caressing your cheek soothingly.

You caught a glimpse of the lights below and let out a shaky breath. Han pressed a quick peck to your lips. “Close your eyes,” he said softly. You looked back up to meet his eyes. “Trust me,” he said with a reassuring smile.

“Close your eyes, baby.”

The pet name made your stomach flip, fluttering as your heart pace quickened. You did as he instructed, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes.

You felt his forehead press against yours. “Just keep your eyes closed. I’ll tell you when to open them.”

The sounds of the fair were far below you now, like a distant memory as you felt the wind pick up. ‘We must be near the top,’ you thought to yourself.

After what felt like several minutes, Han finally spoke.

“Keep your eyes closed but look up,” he instructed softly. You did as he said, tilting your head up. “Okay, open.”

You opened your eyes and were greeted by a deep indigo sky tinged with a deep orange and pink near the horizon but what really caught your eye were the glittering stars.

Even in the city, you’d never seen so many stars yet here they were. You let out a quiet gasp as you looked at the stars, shimmering down at you.

Han smiled, watching you watch the sky. 

This was why he wanted to bring you up here. He knew this ferris wheel was tall enough to get you away from the lights below and let you see the stars like this. As cliche as it seemed, he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to share this with you and he was glad he agreed to ride that awful swing ride if it meant you’d ride this with him.

You looked from the sky to him, eyes shining with an excitement he’d only seen a handful of times. “It’s beautiful,” you whispered, looking back up to the sky. Han kept his eyes on you however. You were right. The sky was beautiful.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “It is.”

You turned to look at him again, finding him staring at you and not the sky. He could have sworn you blushed but didn’t have time to dwell on it as he pulled you into another kiss. There was a tenderness to the kiss that wasn’t present before. He felt your lips part against his and he followed his instinct, his tongue slipping into your mouth.

The moment his tongue met yours, it was like a switch flipped in him and he had to fight the urge to turn this into something more. You were still in public after all but damn it all if he didn’t want to take you back to the parking garage and fuck you in the backseat of his jeep.

But he couldn’t. He needed to show you he could control himself. That he was interested in more than your body. He wanted more than just sex with you. He wanted more dates. He wanted a domesticity with you he’d only ever seen in movies or on tv.

Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and quickly pressed his lips to your forehead, trying to keep the moment tender despite the fact his tongue was just down your throat moments ago.

The ride ended after a few more minutes, you clutching his arm with your eyes squeezed shut every time your cart reached the top, and the pair of you were walking towards the exit, your plushies in hand as you reached the gate.

After exiting, the two of you broke off from the crowd and headed for the parking garage with a few other fair patrons. Upon reaching the garage and waiting for the elevator, Han couldn’t keep his eyes off you. The way you smoothed the fake fur of your stuffed red panda, the way you stood so innocently.

It took everything in him not to jump you and flip that skirt up. He was grateful for the giant plushie he held in front of him that was hiding his obvious hard on. It wasn’t difficult for you to turn him on, he found. It was simple. You had to merely look or smile at him and he was ready to go.

The ride up to the eighth floor to the garage was quiet as was the walk back to his Jeep. Han opened your door, placed the giant plush in the backseat and climbed into the driver seat.

He left you in charge of the music as he started to drive down the levels and out onto the mostly empty streets. You glanced back one last time at the fairground before turning to face forward. Han glanced at you out of the side of his eye before looking in the rearview mirror to see the ferris wheel before he turned and lost sight of it.

You settled on a slow song from Han’s playlist. It took him a second to realize it was a song by Wayv. He had no idea you listened to them.

“I didn’t know you knew Wayv,” he admitted to which you smiled. “I do,” you answered. “And NCT.” The music played softly over the car speakers, filling the gaps in between idle chat. The lyrics didn't help Han with the way he felt and wanted to pull over to take you in the backseat but he refrained.

‘Tonight isn’t about that.’

Before long, Han was pulling up to your building and you realized you weren’t ready for the night to end. “Pull into the parking garage,” you instructed, making him look at you quickly before he obliged. He followed your direction and pulled into the empty space meant for a car that you didn’t own.

Han cut the engine and you both sat there silently. You weren’t sure what to say but you knew you needed to say something. Even if it was just that you weren’t ready for the night to end. Han spoke first.

“Can I walk you to your door?”

You looked up at him and nodded slowly. “Yeah,” you answered.

“I’d like that.”

The walk through the garage as well as through the lobby was quiet between the two of you. The lift arrived quickly and as you stepped on, you could feel the tension between the two of you. It had been present ever since you got back into his Jeep and the whole ride back, you had to fight the urge to ask him to pull over.

You wanted this date to be successful but you couldn’t deny that you were insanely attracted to Han and that you really wanted him. Even if you should be taking things slow, who cares? It was no one else's business but your own.

Glancing up, you found Han was already looking at you as the elevator doors shut. You didn’t know who moved first but it was clear that your feelings were reciprocated as Han pushed you up against the wall of the elevator, lips meeting yours in a passionate kiss.

As quickly as it started, it ended as Han pulled away, eyes still shut as he tried to regain his composure. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this here,” he murmured. “There are cameras.” You nuzzled his neck right under his jaw, lips ghosting over his skin.

“Give security a show,” you teased. “I’m sure they won’t mind.”

Han laughed softly, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “You’re a little filthy,” he said with a smirk. You leaned in to press your lips to his. “Don’t pretend like you don’t like it,” you said in that same teasing tone.

You could feel his erection in his pants and you were right that he wanted this as much as you did.

The elevator dinged as the doors opened and Han reluctantly pulled away. “Come on,” he said softly, taking your hand in his and pulling you from the confines of the elevator before the doors shut.

The walk to your door was short and soon you were turning to face Han who shoved his hands in his pockets. You pouted slightly, hoping your little display in the elevator might entice him to want to come in.

“I should probably get going,” Han said suddenly. “Don’t want to get in trouble for parking in your space.” You shook your head.

“My neighbors will just assume I got a raise and a nice ass car,” you answered, making Han laugh out loud. “Oh yeah? It’s a nice ass car?” He asked. You nodded in response. “It really is. I like it.” The smile on Han’s face made it worth it.

“I should still head back,” he said softly. Your smile fell. “Are you sure?” You asked, meeting Han’s gaze when he looked up at you from his feet. “I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to come in for a bit.”

Han’s cheeks flushed as he shook his head. “I think if I came in now, I might not leave,” he said with a lighthearted chuckle. “I’m not opposed to that either,” you said softly.

Han either didn’t hear you or chose to ignore what you said as he leaned in. “I had a really great time tonight,” he said softly. “I would love to do it again soon.” You nodded with a smile.

“Same. It was really nice. Thank you for tonight.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt his lips meet yours for what you assumed was going to be a tender kiss but the moment his lips met yours, Han couldn’t stop himself. He’d held off most of the night but now, this close to the privacy of your apartment, he wanted more.

He pushed you against your front door, groaning against your lips as his body pressed against yours. “Shit,” he cursed. “Sorry,” he whispered. You shook your head as you pulled out your keys and pushed him back enough to turn and unlock your door, letting the pair of you stumble into your apartment.

Once the door swung shut, Han was back on you in seconds, your keys and bag falling from your hands and clattering against the tiled floor of your entryway.

Your back hit the back of the door with a dull thud as Han pressed his body against yours. “Fuck,” he murmured. “Sorry.” His lips ghosted over yours, hands moving to your waist, fumbling to push his leather jacket he’d given you earlier that evening away from you.

“Why are you apologizing?” You chuckled as his lips trailed down the side of your neck. “I didn’t mean to be so rough,” he murmured against your skin. Your hands moved to his pants, fingers trying to undo his belt quickly.

“You should know by now I like it a little rough.”

Han groaned as you hastily pulled his belt free, letting it fall to the floor.

“Shit,” he hissed as you unbuttoned his jeans. “I swear I didn’t plan for this.”

You shook your head. “I know,” you replied, one hand moving up to the back of his neck, guiding his lips back to yours. You could have sworn you heard him moan against your lips as your hand slipped inside his pants, grabbing his already hard cock over his underwear.

You pulled back briefly as you slowly stroked him over the cloth. “Already hard?”

Your tone was teasing but Han clearly wasn’t in the mood for your teasing. Not tonight.

He crashed his lips against yours again, one of his hands slipping under your shirt and grazing the skin of your tummy as it moved up towards your chest, groping your breast firmly, pushing you against the door again.

At the same time, he pushed his knee between your legs, pressing his thigh against your core, making you groan against his lips.

Han broke the kiss, urging you to keep going as your hand moved slightly faster, squeezing him. “Just like that,” he groaned, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Keep doing that, baby.”

You hissed, pulling your hand free and ignoring the way Han whined as you did.

You pushed him back before lowering yourself to your knees, pulling his jeans down with you. Once you freed his cock from the confines of his boxers, Han let out a low groan as you wrapped your fingers around the base of his shaft.

You opened your mouth and let a drop of spit fall onto the tip before spreading it with your hand. “Fuck,” Han whined as your hand moved quickly, aided by your spit. “You sound so hot when you whine,” you said softly, looking up at him.

Han had to brace himself, both hands against the wall. “Don’t stop,” he croaked.

You returned your gaze to his hard cock in your hand before parting your lips and guiding the head into your mouth.

Han had to keep from thrusting into your face the moment he felt your tongue against the underside of his cock. It felt like it had been years since he’d felt it and fuck did he miss it.

He’d missed the way your head bobbed as you took more and more of his length in your mouth. “Fuck, you’re so good to me.”

The praise went straight to your chest but then down to your core. You knew by now you had soaked your underwear and you wouldn’t be surprised if you were dripping onto the wood floor.

You gagged as Han suddenly thrust into your mouth, pulling back to cough.

“Shit!” Han cursed, one hand moving to take your chin gently, forcing you to look up. “I’m so sorry,” he gasped. You shook your head.

“It just caught me off guard,” you replied, moving your hand to take his cock in your hand again. Han let out a hiss at the contact, head falling as he leaned against the arm supporting him against the wall.

“If you keep going like that, I’m gonna cum.”

You giggled, giving the tip of his cock a light lick, making him groan.

“That’s the idea.”

Han shook his head, suddenly grabbing you by the hair and tugging gently to ask you wordlessly to stand. You did as he asked and got to your feet. “What’re you-” you asked but Han cut you off, dragging you towards the bedroom, discarding his pants along the way.

Once inside your room, he marched you over to the bed and all but threw you onto it, quickly helping you out of the skirt and top you’d worn. Once your clothes were off, he rid himself of his shirt and underwear, climbing onto the bed and kneeling between your spread legs.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

“I missed you so much, angel,” he huffed as his hands moved up the tops of your thighs, thumbs moving under your panties and slowly sliding them down your legs before tossing them aside.

Once stripped bare, he pushed your knees further apart and looked down at your glistening sex. “I really just want to be inside you,” he groaned. “Would you be mad if I didn’t go down on you?” He asked, glancing back up to meet your gaze.

You wanted his cock inside you the moment he crossed the threshold but you wanted to be selfish for a moment. “Not terribly mad,” you started.

Han caught on quickly. “Say no more.”

He settled between your thighs, leaving wet kisses down the inside of your legs until his face was level with your glistening core. “I can’t believe I haven’t done this already,” he murmured, making you prop yourself up.

“Wait, you haven’t?” you asked. Han looked up to meet your gaze, shaking his head. “Last time we hooked up, I didn’t get the chance to go down on you.”

You opened your mouth to respond but let out a whine as Han dove in, tongue quickly finding your clit. You fell back to the bed, moaning as he teased the bud with light flicks before swirling around and dipping down to your entrance.

The sounds emanating from him were wet and lewd and enough to make your cheeks burn and toes curl at the same time. Your thighs tried to close on his head but Han held them open, surfacing briefly to tell you to keep your legs spread.

With each flick of his tongue, he brought you closer and closer to the edge, wrapping his lips around your clit and teasing with light sucks that had you keening and begging him for more.

Before you could cum, Han stopped for air and gave you a short reprieve to lift your head to see his lips and chin were covered in your essence. He licked his lips, giving you a cheeky smile before diving back in.

Three times he drew you close to the brink of orgasm only to stop. Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore and shamelessly begged him to stop teasing you.

“What’s that?” He asked as he wiped his chin and got up, leaning over to take your lips in a sear kiss, parting them and slipping his tongue into your mouth. His saliva mixed with the taste of your arousal hit your tongue and you whined.

“Please fuck me,” you whimpered. Han chuckled against your lips. “Fuck you?” He asked softly, peppering kisses against your lips and cheeks. “Oh baby girl,” he murmured between kisses. “I’m gonna do more than that,” he added.

“I’m gonna make you mine.”

“Condoms in the same place?” he asked, sitting up and locking eyes with you.

“There hasn’t been anyone but you,” you admitted, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth. Han studied you with a mix of admiration and awe. “I haven’t been with anyone else either,” he replied.

“Then don’t worry about it,” you answered. Han leaned over you, pressing his lips against yours as he took his cock in his hand, guiding the tip to your entrance. “If I hurt you, tell me,” he murmured as he slowly pushed into you, jaw dropping slightly as he glided in with relative ease.

You let out a moan as his cock stretched your cunt, accommodating the girth you’d clearly forgotten about. “Fuuuuck,” you heard him hiss as he bottomed out. “I forgot how good you feel,” he moaned.

You felt his hand grab behind your knee, hiking your leg up higher, allowing his cock to slip deeper inside your walls with a gasp from you and a growl from him. “I swear it’s like you were made to take my cock,” he groaned.

“Please move,” you whined. “Please Han.”

He chuckled breathlessly. “Say my name and I will,” he joked.

“Jisung,” you gasped. “Please fuck me.”

The first sharp thrust took you by surprise. The ones that follow had your back arching off the sheets. Each thrust was angled and just sharp enough for the head of his cock to hit the soft gummy spot inside your walls that had you gasping and groaning as he increased speed.

“Last time I had you from behind,” he groaned, shifting his weight as he moved one hand up to cup your cheek. “This time I get to see your face.”

“Keep saying shit like that and I just might fall in love,” you said with an amused tone. Han slowed his pace to roll his hips, watching your face contorted in pleasure with each slow, deep thrust. “You like that?” He asked, his voice soft as you nodded.

“Tell me you like it.”

“Han-”

“That’s not my name, sweetheart.”

“Jisung,” you moaned, loudly, gripping the sheets tightly in one hand as the other moved to grab the pillow under your head.

“Come on. Tell me you like it,” he cooed. “Yes,” you gasped as he gave you a particularly hard thrust. “Say it.” His demand was punctuated by another sharp thrust. “I like it!” You gasped. “I like it when you do that.”

Han chuckled lightly, still moving his hips in a slow, deep roll. “Like it when I do what?” He asked, pressing a couple chaste kisses to your cheek. “You like it when I fuck you like this?” You nodded. “Yes!”

“You like it when I fuck you nice and slow?”

“Mhm! Yes!”

“You like it when I make love to you?”

“Yes, Jisung. I love it!”

At your admission, Han let out a low growl, resuming the same pace as before, his hips hitting against your thighs as he pounded into you.

The hand that had been on your cheek moved up to join your hand near the pillow, pulling the material free from your grip and instead lacing his fingers with yours. The action was so intimate and gentle but it still sent you straight over the edge, thighs squeezing around his waist as you came with a whimper.

Han’s pace didn’t slow, if anything, he sped up, chasing his own high as he buried his face in your neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned as you felt his cock twitch inside you. “I’m gonna cum.”

You nodded, your second orgasm starting to build. “Just a little more,” you encouraged him. “I’m close again.”

You felt his teeth sink into your skin and you let out a cry, walls clenching around him and sending him over the edge. He came with a groan, releasing inside your cunt as he rode out his high and pushed you to a second orgasm.

As his hips slowed to a stop, Han collapsed on top of you with a huff, fingers still laced with yours. His free hand moved to your thigh, tucking under your knee and rolled over, pulling you with him onto your side. His cock somehow managed to stay buried inside you.

“We should probably get cleaned up,” you muttered but Han shushed you. “Just let me stay like this a little while longer,” he begged. You ran your fingers through his sweaty hair and hummed in response.

The two of you lay there for a while longer until you felt his cock slip out of you and a sudden gush of warm sticky fluid. “I’m leaking,” you mused, making him snort. Han lifted his head and let it fall with a sigh.

“You know,” he said hoarsely. “This wasn’t my intention.”

You opened your eyes to meet his pretty brown ones. “It wasn’t my intention to come in here and sleep with you. I just wanted to take you on a date and show you a good time,” he whined, making you laugh. “God you probably think I’m some sex crazed maniac. Can’t even keep my hands to myself for a night.”

You laughed loudly at that. “I don’t think you’re a sex crazed maniac, Jisung,” you replied, taking his face in your hands and kissing the tip of his nose. “You aren’t a horrible person. We had sex, no big deal. It’s not like you forced me or something. I wanted it.”

Han shook his head. “No, I know. I just wanted to show you that I was serious when I said I wanted to date you. I don’t just want you for sex. I want you for more than that.”

You offered him a warm smile. "It's okay, Ji," you replied. "You aren't some kind of monster for wanting to have sex with your girlfriend."

"I know but I still want to- wait," he responded, pausing to process your words. "Girlfriend?" His expression shifted from confusion to excitement as it dawned on him. "My girlfriend?!"

You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. "Yes," you replied, nodding. "Truthfully? I was yours the moment you walked through my door the first time."

Han pulled you flush against him, peppering kisses all over your face, making you giggle and squeal with delight. "Han!" You shrieked, trying to squirm away from his relentless kisses.

"That's not my name~!" he reminded you as his kisses traveled down your neck. "Jisung!" You hissed, feeling heat pool in your belly as his lips moved against the skin of your throat.

"That's better," he murmured, pushing you flat on your back and hovering over you. "I like it when you say my name," he muttered as he kissed back up to your cheek, lips brushing against your ear.

"I wanna hear you say only that name from now on."

You let out a moan as he grinded his half hard cock against you.

"Again?" you asked.

He gave you a cheeky grin. "We’ve been over this baby,” he answered. “I may not last long each round," he added simply.

"But I can go multiple rounds."

“I'll keep that-" you moaned loudly as his lips trailed down your chest, kissing down the valley of your breast and continued past your navel. He stopped briefly to glance up at you from between your thighs, wrapping his arms around them to keep your legs open.

"I know I already went down on you earlier but once I get a taste, I want more," he said with a devilish grin. "I’m not complaining," you replied with a nod, chest rising and falling with each labored breath. You combed your fingers through his hair softly. "Don't hold back either."

His grin widened before he let out a soft but devious chuckle.

"Oh, baby," he groaned, glancing down at your waiting cunt and licking his lips as if it was the most delicious thing he'd ever seen.

"I don't plan to."

[rhoorl]

Delta Landscaping: Chapter 15 Lucky Strike

Series Masterlist | Chapter 15 A03 Link

Word Count: 4.4k

Previously on As the Mule Falls: The neighbors met at David and Ty’s house for a Fourth of July party. Despite the guys having a lot of anxiety about it, they ended up having a pretty fun time thanks to all of their new friends. We ticked a few boxes off of our bingo card and laughed as David finally let the intrusive thoughts out. We also got a shy, nervous Benny and some meddling from Will and our favorite FBI agent.

In this Episode: We’re heavy on the Benny in this episode with little sprinkles of Frankie and a flashback of sorts for Santiago. Also, I’m trying to get to fight night so there are some jumps in time. In case you missed it, here is the moodboard for this chapter.

Chapter Warnings: A shoe goes flying at Santiago’s head. There’s some fluff and rom-com vibes and we finish with a little bit of angst with Frankie as he reaches one year of sobriety.

*Cue the theme music and roll opening credits*

Four weeks to fight night

“Good, Ben,” Frankie panted backing away and leaning against the ropes of the boxing ring, “we can take a break.” 

“C’mon old man, don’t slow down on me now!” Benny flashed a lopsided grin as he worked the boxing gloves off of his hands. 

“It’s not that I’m slowing down…you just seem more…focused.” He eyed Benny with a smirk.

It’s true. Benny had an extra pep in his step today. He got to the gym well before Frankie, claiming he needed to “burn off some energy.” When Frankie arrived, he found Benny in the corner of the gym jumping rope, his shirt discarded nearby on the floor. During today’s sparring session, Benny was on a different level. Every punch connected and he anticipated everything Frankie threw at him, causing Frankie to wince at a few well-placed jabs to the ribs. With the fight only weeks away, Benny was well in ring shape and nearing his peak, which made Frankie breathe a sigh of relief.

Tossing the boxing gloves to the side, Benny reached down to grab his baseball cap, eager to get the hair out of his eyes. “Just feeling good…yesterday was a lot better of a day than I thought it’d be.”

“I’m sure it was,” Frankie crossed his arms in front of his chest, watching as Benny grabbed a towel. “Any word on your date?” 

“Thinkin’ Saturday…since we were planning on taking Sunday off anyway, figured I could be out late and it wouldn’t be a problem…” Benny’s eyes didn’t quite meet Frankie’s.

“Ben, we can take whatever day you want off,” Frankie chuckled before furrowing his brow at the sight of Benny chewing on the inside of his cheek. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just…I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t taking this seriously and getting distracted or anything…so I was just waiting I guess until a day I already was free.”

“Hermano, do I think Vanessa is a distraction? Yes, but in the best possible way,” he clasped a hand to Benny’s shoulder. “The past week you’ve been a nervous wreck, timid, and not yourself in here. But today? Today man…you’ll whoop anyone’s ass who steps up to you,” he laughed, seeing the corners of Benny’s mouth curl up. “So she’s distracting you from the bullshit in your head and I think that’s great. She seems like a really sweet girl, Ben.”

“Yeah…I…I really like her Fish,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t wanna fuck this up, you know?”

Frankie tilted his head up and laughed, “Trust me, I get it.”

“Oh shit, sorry man. Ah…how’re things with you?”

With a deep breath through his nose, Frankie took off his hat and ran his fingers through his curls, before putting it back on again. “Well, I was actually wanting to see if I could take next weekend off. Had a thought to surprise her and fly up there.”

“Hey isn’t next week….” Benny trailed off seeing Frankie gaze down to his feet. Making the realization, a huge smile came across Benny’s face, “I think that’s a perfect way to celebrate Fish! I’m proud of you man.”

“So, you have a good night last night? You left the party pretty early with Katie,” Santiago’s eyebrows waggled at Will as they loaded up a wheelbarrow with soil. They’d come up with an agreement with Frankie and Benny to work on Melissa’s backyard, executing their design and giving Benny the chance to concentrate on training. 

“We’re just friends Pope…and yes we had a good night, did you?” Will looked over as he set down the shovel.

“Just friends? Wow, you know I kinda saw that comin’ not gonna lie,” he shrugged.

“Fuck off, don’t you have a shoe to dodge or something?” Will snapped as he walked into Melissa’s backyard.

“I guess I deserved that,” Santiago muttered to himself, realizing that Frankie must have spilled to Will that Amaryllis was back in the picture.

To say Santiago and Amaryllis had a dramatic situationship would be putting it mildly. They grew up together in New York as family friends. Neither made a move, although they heavily flirted with each other by the time they got to high school. Santiago had to endure her shitty boyfriends who never treated her well and she had to see him run through every girl in their grade and the ones above it too. She’d finally mustered enough courage to tell him she had feelings for him but it ended up being the same night he told her he was enlisting. 

They exchanged letters for a few years, but those eventually stopped. He lost track of her, hearing that she’d gone off to Los Angeles to try her hand at acting or modeling. She landed a couple of small roles here and there. A falling out with a boyfriend caused her to move back to the East Coast, where she reconnected with a couple of Santiago’s cousins whom she was close to growing up. They shared that he was back in town and invited her out. It had been years since they'd seen each other, but her heart raced a bit at the thought of seeing him again.

When she walked into the bar, his eyes immediately met hers and he felt like he’d been run over by a train. She was confident, commanding the attention of everyone as she walked over to him. He longed for some comfort and she did too. The two found themselves locked away in her apartment for the next few days getting reacquainted.

Still, they were both too stubborn and headstrong to admit their feelings. What came next was a tumultuous and dramatic series of back and forths, neither one wanting to make that next step, that commitment. Instead, they found it easier to get underneath someone else rather than face their feelings head-on. They did try to have more, but it failed miserably each time with one of them retreating like a scared dog, unsure who to trust. 

The pull to Colombia made for a clean break, at least that’s what Santiago thought. When he came back, he went home for a short while to see his mother and couldn’t help but pass by Amaryllis’ apartment. He sat on the stoop for what felt like hours, debating whether to knock on the door or just send a text. A sudden slam of the door made the decision for him.

“Hijo de puta, how fucking dare you show up here. After three fucking years?” She yelled as he got up and backed away from her. He tried to say something but he couldn’t get any sound out. Next thing he knew he was dodging a well-thrown sandal to the head as she continued to call him every name in the book both in English and Spanish. It was the last time he saw her. 

But a couple of weeks ago, he noticed a Facebook message. She made the decision to move down to Florida and wanted to see if he was still there. He debated opening up the message or just deleting it but opted to read it and then go to her profile. She seemed happy, really happy. And noticeably single. So one thing led to another and she made the drive over to Tampa so they could meet for coffee and talk. He knew the guys had their opinions so he opted to keep a low profile about it for as long as he could.

“This is good practice Vandy, I get to do the whole dad spiel about being home before midnight and all of tha- ow!” Marcus ducked as Victoria threw a dish rag at him. 

“Leave her alone, mi amor. Come back whenever you want Nessa, or don’t,” Victoria winked as her sister rolled her eyes. “So, what did you guys decide on?”

“I suggested Splitsville. Figured we could bowl and maybe eat, I dunno seemed like a good choice. He was excited about it.”

“C’mon admit it, you also picked it because it’s ‘Insta-worthy’!” Marcus chuckled as he made air quotes with his fingers.

“Oh my god, you’re such a dad,” Vanessa groaned. “Please don’t ever say Insta-worthy again, Buck.”

“Ooo, are you starting up your foodie blog again?” Victoria rubbed her hands together. “You always find the best places.”

“Excuse me?” Marcus brought a hand to his chest, “she’s not the only foodie in this family.”

“Of course, mi amor,” she kissed Marcus on the cheek as he plated the kid’s dinner. “Between the two of you, we always have the coolest spots to check out.”

“Are you sure this looks ok Vic? Not too casual?” Vanessa did a little twirl as Mariella clapped in her high chair. 

Figuring out what to wear was always a chore for Vanessa, especially in recent years when she didn’t really care to shop for clothes…or look in the mirror for that matter. She’d changed outfits about 15 times, completely ransacking her closet. The final winner was a pair of dark wash jeans and a well-worn Tampa Bay Rays t-shirt, topped with a flannel. Victoria thought it was a bit unnecessary to wear a flannel in the middle of summer, but knew it was a security blanket for her sister. 

“I think you look great, Vandy,” Marcus winked with a soft smile. 

Will sat on the couch playing a video game, trying to hide his smile as Benny paced around the living room. “You excited?”

Benny stopped and looked over as he finished buttoning up his sleeve. “Yeah. J called a little bit ago…thought he was going to give me shit…” Benny trailed off rubbing the back of his neck.

“We’re excited to see you out there again Bean,” Will paused his game, putting the controller down to walk over and assess his brother’s outfit. “You look like….me…why’re wearing this?” Will grabbed at the front of Benny’s button-down shirt. 

“I dunno…I wanted to look nice,” Benny pouted looking down at his outfit. 

“Wear what makes you comfortable Ben. C’mon,” with a reassuring pat on his brother’s shoulder, he led him back to the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed as Benny went through his hangers. 

Without saying a word, Benny changed out of his long-sleeve button-down shirt and slipped on a fresh white crewneck t-shirt and black jean jacket. He switched out his boots, put on some sneakers, and grabbed a baseball cap. 

“There’s my Bean,” Will smiled. “Feeling better?” Benny nodded as the corners of his mouth turned up. 

“Tia Nessa? I wanna see Bunny!” Mariella waddled over to the couch where Vanessa sat. 

“Si mi vida, Bunny is coming over soon,” she moved over so Mariella could work her way onto the couch next to her. It was so cute how quickly her little niece had taken to Benny. The past couple of days she’d managed to get home from picking up the kids around the same time Benny was finishing up his run. Mariella would squeal when she saw him and he’d do something silly to make her laugh.

Nico sat quietly coloring with Victoria as they all heard the doorbell ring. Vanessa went to stand up but Marcus intercepted since he was already up. Opening the door, he found Benny shifting from foot to foot with his hands in his pockets. 

“Hey there Benny, good to see you, come on in,” he held the door open for Benny to pass through.

“Bunny!!” Mariella quickly got herself off the couch and rushed over to Benny, nearly tripping over her unsteady legs in the process.

“Hey baby girl,” Benny smiled, whisking the little girl off of her feet as she giggled. 

She started to babble and Benny looked around the room in the hopes someone could translate toddler. 

“She asked if you’re taking Vanessa ‘bye bye’ in the car,” Victoria’s heart melted seeing Mariella bond so quickly with Benny.

“Ohh ah yeah, I guess. Yeah, we’re going to go ‘bye bye’ in the car. But I’ll bring her back, I promise,” Benny winked.

“You, ah, ready to go?” Vanessa got up, grabbing her crossbody from the counter.

Seeing her about took his breath away. She looked effortlessly beautiful, and he suddenly felt less self-conscious about his casual attire. 

“Yeah. I…um…can I put you down so I can take your um…Tia…out?” Benny raised his eyebrows waiting for a response. With an enthusiastic nod, he set Mariella down and she ran to Marcus and hugged his leg. “Ah, after you,” Benny put his arm out, gesturing for Vanessa to pass, while wishing the Pikes a good night. He could feel Marcus’ eyes on him so he tried his best to not let his eyes wander as she walked by him.

“Don’t keep her out too late now,” Marcus winked as Vanessa groaned, grabbing Benny’s hand to quickly lead him out of the house before Marcus had another chance to embarrass her. 

“Sorry about him,” Vanessa quickly dropped Benny’s hand once he closed the front door. “Buck looks for any chance to give me shit.” She furrowed her brows as Benny followed her to the passenger side of his car.

“It’s alright, hell I’ve done worse to Will,” he chuckled, opening the door for her. 

She quickly got in and sat a bit dumbfounded as he sprinted around to his side of the car. It’s not that she hadn’t ever had a man open a door for her, her sister was married to Marcus “Mr. Romance” Pike after all, but it still gave her butterflies and made her even more excited for the night to come.

“So, I have a confession to make,” Frankie said as he sprawled out on his bed, propping the phone against a pillow.

“Ooo mysterious. Tell me more Morales,” Jo quipped. She was nestled underneath a fluffy blanket on her couch for what had become her favorite part of the day - her nightly FaceTime chat with Frankie.

“So, what would you say if I ah,” he ruffled his hair and took a deep breath, “what if I came up there next weekend? I know you’re busy with work and stuff, but I’ll be out of your hair by Monday. You can drop me off at the airport before you go to work, or I’ll take an Uber.” He waited for what felt like an eternity for her to respond, wondering if his Wi-Fi crapped out because she was stuck looking at him. “What do you say mi cielo? I, I don’t have to, if you already have plans-”

“No! I mean yes….I mean, no I don’t already have plans and yes I would love for you to come up here. Are you sure? Doing this so last minute?” She couldn’t help the huge smile that stretched across her face. Being away from Frankie for the past week was torture and the idea of getting to spend a couple of days with him, being wrapped in his arms and hearing his laugh ring in her ears made her downright giddy.

“I’ve been thinking about doing it since you left, so it’s not as last-minute as you think babe,” he winked. 

“Well, I am clearing my entire schedule. We can play tourist for a day and then maybe hang out…be lazy, order some takeout, cuddle, ooo and we can watch movies in person rather than one of us being on a delay,” her eyes twinkled as she started to race through various ideas.

Frankie chuckled, he loved it when she got excited and started to ramble. “Whatever we do, I’ll be happy because I’ll be with you.”

“I’m so excited! This next week is going to go by even slower now that I have something to look forward to,” she beamed.

“Are you serious?” Vanessa shook her head, dumbfounded that Benny casually threw a perfect game. Trick shot after trick shot, it didn’t matter, he always got a strike.

Benny didn’t even watch his last shot. He had his eyes on Vanessa as he put his back to the lane and released the ball behind him. Hearing the pins knocked down, he sauntered back over, flashing a boyish grin.

“Ooo yay, the food is here,” he rubbed his hands together, looking at the spread. All of his training had made him build up quite the appetite these days, so he wasn’t shy about ordering his fair share.

“Wait wait!” Vanessa put her hands up to stop him from taking a mozzarella stick. “Sorry, I um…one sec,” She bit her bottom lip, pulling out her phone and then rearranging the plates. Benny looked on confused but also amused, admiring how her brows furrowed as she concentrated on getting everything to look just right.

Pleased with her setup, she started snapping photos. “Sorry…I am one of those people, annoying I know, but I figured tonight was a good excuse to start up my account again,” she didn’t look up from her phone as she took a couple of videos too. “Phone eats first,” she winked before motioning that the coast was clear.

“What kind of account you have?”

“Oh, it’s just on Instagram…I started it a few years back…it’s a fun way to explore the food scene and…sorry this is all boring I’ll stop,” she laughed to herself as she grabbed a few nachos.

“No, no, it’s not boring, I like it. I like food, clearly,” he motioned to the four plates in front of him and she snorted. “Lemme see, I wanna follow.” He motioned toward her phone with his chin.

She reluctantly handed him the phone and watched as he scrolled her account. After a few moments, she saw his forehead scrunch.

“What? I know, I don’t always have the best lighting, I’ve been meaning to buy myself a little light thing and  - “

“No, hey,” he put his hand on her forearm, which sent an electric pulse up her body. She suddenly felt like it was way too warm for her flannel. “No this is great, these photos are beautiful…I just was wondering where you were.”

“What?”

“I don’t see you in any of these photos. Maybe your hands every once in a while, but how come you’re not in these?” He shook the phone as he turned it back to her.

“Oh…I…um…I dunno I guess I’d rather have the focus be on the food,” she looked down, playing with the straw of her water. The truth of the matter was she was tired of dealing with the random trolls who would end up making a comment about her body or how much she went out to eat. She deleted everything off of her account that had her face in it, opting to showcase the food instead.

“Hmm…” Benny nodded, handing back her phone. He pulled his out and started typing as she looked on with inquiring eyes. “There, you have a new follower,” he winked.

She looked at the notification, trying to steady her breath at how hot he looked in his profile picture. “Holy shit, are you like an influencer or something?!”

Benny looked a bit sheepish, “I started the account when I got into fighting…a way to promote them…and then I just kept posting gym stuff and it grew from there.”

“Well, you have a lot of very loyal fans it seems,” Vanessa smirked as she scrolled through some particularly thirsty comments on his account. Normally something like this would be a complete red flag, especially given her ex’s history, but there was something about Benny’s shy smile that put her mind a little more at ease. 

“Pope used to date a girl who did social media stuff for her job so she set it up for me. I don’t post a ton, but it’s there. I’m mostly on there to help keep an eye on my niece, lord knows her dad is a lost cause when it comes to anything on his phone that’s more than making a call,” he chuckled to himself. “But now I’m excited to see your food stuff on my feed,” he smiled.

“Well thanks…I started the account when I lived in Charlotte…gave me an excuse to get around and explore,” she gave a tight smile as she bit into a slider.

“Maybe we can explore some stuff…together?” Benny’s hopeful eyes found hers as she slowed her chewing.

“Um…ok, yeah sure, that’d be fun,” she smiled back. “Although you may regret what you’re signing yourself up for,” she winked.

He regarded her with a lopsided grin. “Oh, I don’t think I’m gonna regret it at all, boss lady.” 

Three weeks to fight night

Things around Mule Fall Court settled into an easy routine the following week. Benny and Frankie kept a consistent schedule at the gym. Sometimes Connor would tag along too, although he was trying to soak up the last bits of summer before he and Aria had to head back to school. Meanwhile, Will and Santiago were nearly done with Melissa’s backyard and already looking for their next project. One day as they were cleaning up, Victoria stopped over and they talked about her lawn. They all agreed that it would be a good project to tackle once Benny’s fight was done.

Will found himself hanging out with Katie a few nights so they could finish up the last season of The Mandalorian. He had to admit, he actually really enjoyed it as much as the company he had while watching it. Ever since they established their boundaries as friends, it felt like a weight was lifted off. They were able to just relax and found themselves opening up in ways they hadn’t with another person in years, or ever. Will also decided to treat himself a bit and got a motorcycle. He found riding around, feeling the wind in his face, to be calming.

Katie and Megan made a vow to restart their weekly wine night, adding the usual suspects to the mix. New to the group was Katie’s coworker, Miranda. Like Megan, she was a single mother and rarely took time to do anything for herself. It had taken a few weeks of coaxing but Katie finally convinced her to take Aria up on the babysitting offer and come over for a night of laughs and girl talk – yes, David included himself in that.

Benny and Vanessa hung out a few more times. Thanks to some good-intentioned meddling from Marcus, he recruited Benny to come over and keep Vanessa company while he and Victoria enjoyed a night out to celebrate their anniversary. They played with the kids all night and ordered pizza. Vanessa was thankful to have Benny there since he was able to run around and tire the kids out. 

Mariella was adamant that Benny tucked her into her crib and Benny and Vanessa stayed in her room for a while until she went to sleep. Vanessa learned that Benny had a beautiful voice. He sang a lullaby to Mariella to finally get her to close her eyes and drift off to sleep. Settling back on the couch, Benny dutifully listened as Vanessa showed him a few restaurants that recently caught her eye online.  

He was still nervous about pushing things too far, but couldn't help but flirt with her. What made him even more nervous was he felt like she was flirting back. He so badly wanted to kiss her, trying his hardest to keep his eyes from drifting to her lips. She moved closer to him, crossing a leg on the couch to face him, laughing at a joke he made. When the laughter died down, she looked at him, trying to steady her breathing. He licked his bottom lip and her eyes betrayed her, looking down as she sucked a breath in. At the same time, they both leaned forward, he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. His lips were near to hers when they heard the garage door, pulling them both away from each other like two teenagers who had gotten caught almost making out by their parents.

With a deep breath, Frankie looked at the calendar hanging on his fridge by a single magnet. This date was one he’d been equally dreading and looking forward to – a year since he flushed the last bit of his stash down the toilet and decided to start the journey of putting all of the broken pieces back together again. It hadn’t been an easy year by any stretch of the imagination, but quietly and steadily he made it to milestone after milestone. 

Valeria was the first person to text him this morning. She knew her brother shied away from attention, so she acknowledged the day with a simple I’m proud of you Paco. Love you. She followed that up with a picture of his niece and nephew smiling at the camera, Antonio proudly showing off the gap from the tooth he lost this week.

Jo texted him this morning none the wiser about the significance of this day other than the fact that it meant she was going to see Frankie. It had only been two weeks since their shared flight down to Tampa. Lucille and Valeria had both separately referred to it as the “flight that changed your life” but Frankie hadn't fully embraced that moniker. It had been so long since he’d opened up his heart in this way. He battled with a constant inner struggle between wanting to guard his heart and wanting to jump head-first into this. 

This weekend’s trip felt momentous for several reasons, but the biggest was that Frankie planned to tell Jo everything about his past. Although it was under different circumstances, opening up to Lucille and having her embrace him with love and compassion did wonders for him. For so long he’d been in a spiral of self-loathing, thinking that everyone was disappointed by him and that he was a failure. But Lucille cracked the door open and shined some light and he was hopeful that Jo would kick it wide open. The idea of sharing the darkest parts of himself and his past terrified him more than crash-landing a helicopter, but it was something he had to do. He wanted more with Jo and if he had any chance at it, he had to be honest with her.

Next Time on As the Mule Falls: We get closer and closer to fight night. The neighbors host a party to welcome the Pikes to the neighborhood. A little bit of pining and angst. More Cousin Joel phone calls. 

A/N: Hi! First, I hope you are still enjoying this series. We have SO many storylines in play with several more to come, I do have a plan for all of this I promise. And all of those eagerly awaiting Cousin Joel (me included), he’s on his way soon. That’s part of the reason why we had some time jumps in this episode. With that being said, I’m going to try something new and do some extras in addition to the episodes. Consider it your extended or deleted scenes if we were watching the box set of DVDs of the season (dating myself with that reference). I’m already planning an extra to show more of Benny and Vanessa’s bowling date along with a one-shot of Frankie’s trip to Atlanta. 

Thank you as always for reading, sharing, or sending me a message about this story!

Taglist: @goodwithcheese / @gemmahale / @trulybetty / @noxturnalpascal / @periodtsparadox / @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin / @maggiemayhemnj / @mysterious-moonstruck-musings / @avastrasposts / @meveispunk / @chaoticfestninja / @beboldbebravethings / @casa-boiardi / @katw474 / @linzels-blog / @laughing-in-th3-purple-rain / @pimosworld / @lynnchun / @anoverwhelmingdin /@lilmizmoz / @pedrit0-pascalit0 / @titlee78 / @noisynightmarepoetry / @inept-the-magnificent / @perennialdoll247 / @for-a-longlongtime / @readingiskeepingmegoing / @harriedandharassed / @musings-of-a-rose / @anavatazes / @sherala007 / @midnightraain / @partyofone3414 / @inthedarkestnight / @millennial-teenybopper / @csarab615 / @darkheartgatita / @southernbe / @weho2kcmo / @itspdameronthings / @mclibs23