#i promise i wont stop drawing my other stuff okay....... but i am also in love with this little guy!!!!

[eternalblizzards]

getting into something else recently.....

[fluffymcu]

Letting Loose

Part EIGHTEEN

This series is TICKLE related.

Series Summary:  You’re the little sister of the one and only Captain America. You’re also the youngest girl on the team, so that automatically makes you the avengers’ little princess. And they spoil you as such. They have become your amazing family and you don’t know where you’d be without them. This series will show random adventures and fluffy events in the daily life of the reader and her family, along with an unexpected turn later on as you read.

A/N: I’m so excited to be writing this series! This is my first time writing one and I’m a bit nervous but I hope it all goes well. :)  Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,962

It’s been a few weeks since the outdoor movie night. You were looking around in the kitchen for something to eat when you heard Sam make cooing noises from his place on the couch. You turned to see him flipping through a small book. You walked up to him to see what he was doing.

“What are you doing?” you asked. He looked up from the book and smiled.

“Just lookin’ at your baby pictures.” He said. 2 or 3 of them were from the 40’s that Steve had in his uniform pockets while he was looking for you when you were kidnapped by HYDRA. Others were pictures that Steve took of you during the year that you lived in an apartment when you were 5 or 6. The rest were pics that the team took of you as you were growing up after you moved to the tower then the compound.

“Aww, look at you here.” Sam said, pointing to a picture of you with cake on your face. You internally cringed. “So adorable! With your little bows and everything.” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not adorable Sam.” You said.

“Oh, so you think you’re grown now? That you're not adorable anymore?” Sam asked amused, raising an eyebrow at you. You pursed your lips and crossed your arms.

“I may not be grown but I’m not adorable.” You sass. Sam chuckled at that.

“Well I have proof right in this book that says otherwise. Look .“ he smirked, flipping through many pictures or tea parties, days in the pool, the team playing dress up with you, and much more. Through them all, Sam was cooing the while time. You groaned and covered your face in mild frustration. You flopped down on the couch and sat there with your arms crossed. Sam didn’t pay you any mind at your little attitude and just kept looking through the book.

Bucky walked in at that moment and noticed your body language. “What's y/n so worked up about?” he asked Sam. “I mean, I know she’s talking to you and that’s enough to make anyone upset but is there any other reason?” he said, smirking a bit when Sam rolled his eyes.

“Little y/n here is getting all blushy because I keep calling her adorable.” He says, going the extra mile and pinching your cheek. You whined and leaned way from his touch.

“I am not!” you could feel your face heat up. Bucky chuckles.

“Aww this is what you're cranky about? You are adorable! Look at these pictures of when you were a baby; just precious!” he says, taking the book from Sam. You growled and slumped down further on the couch. And so begins the endless teasing session.

“Look she's pouting. How cute. But as adorable as that is, I don’t know how I feel about having a pouty y/n. Buck?” Sam asked.

“Oh, absolutely not. We can’t have that! We love a happy girl!” You pout even more to show your annoyance.

“Nothing seems to work, Buck. What do you suggest we do?”

“Well, I suggest we do the thing that always makes her smile when she's pouty!” he smirked. Your eyes widened at that and you tried to make a run for it. Of course, the super soldier got to you before you could and thew you back on the couch. You were already giggling, your annoyed facade melted away. Nervousness overcame your senses as you realized not only Bucky is about to tickle you to pieces but Sam as well.

“Wahahait! Guhuhuys! I wont pout anymore I promise!!” you begged. Sam raised an eyebrow at you.

“But will you admit you're the most adorable thing ever?” he teased. You pursed your lips in a scowl.

“I'm not adorable!” you growled.

Bucky and Sam turned to face each other at the same time and nodded. “Denial.” They immediately pounced on you, eliciting loud and bubbly giggles. Bucky was wasting no time, drilling his fingers into your ribs while Sam was repeatedly squeezing up and down your thighs. You threw your head back as you laughed, keeping your arms pressed to your sides, even though it did nothing to stop the ticklish feeling.

“We can do this all day, y/n. We won’t stop until you admit it.” Bucky smirked, slipping his hands up further up to wiggle his hands under your arms. You yelped and erupted into high pitched laughter, kicking out your legs. Sam had gotten a hold of your ankle and was now scratching the soles of your feet, making you cackle. “Tickle tickle tickletickletickle! Aww look at that adorable smile!”

Your face was burning as you blushed and tried to cover your face with your hands. Bucky chortled and shook his head, lifting your shirt and blowing a long raspberry, tasing your sides at the same time. You shrieked and shot your arms right back down. “I CAHAHANT BREHEHEATHE!” You cried, shaking your head side to side. It became clear then that they really weren’t going to stop until you gave in. “AHAHAHAA OKAHAHAY OKAHAY ILL SAY IHIHIT! EEH!” You squealed and fell right back into hysterics when Sam started to squeeze your knee.

“Well? On with it then.” Sam said, not letting up on his torture. Bucky smirked, tickling your waistline, making your giggles more desperate.

“Lehehet me go fihihirst.” You giggled.

“NOPE!” Bucky said, blowing another raspberry. You arched your back with a loud squeal and finally gave in.

“NOOOHOHO OKAY IM ADOHOHORABLE!” You cry, scrunching up your neck when Bucky feathers is fingers around your neck.

“Damn right. And you better not forget it.” Bucky said, pointing a finger at you warningly. You blushed and turned on your belly to hide your face.

“Okay, yes, I get it.” You whine feigning annoyance. Bucky and Sam shook their heads at you fondly and left, leaving you to rest on the couch. You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until you woke up to the soft chatter of the team in the kitchen. You hadn’t opened your eyes yet and were still half asleep but you could tell you were covered by a blanket. Someone must have put it on you when you were asleep. 

You stirred a bit and woke up a little more at the sound of chuckling and you sat up on the couch. You had wrinkle marks on the side of your face that was on the couch and you turned to see the team gathered around the island, having a conversation. Bucky has the first one to turn and see you, smiling and winking at you. You giggled, drawing the attention of the other team members. Steve smirked at your sleepy look and put a hand on his hip. “Look who finally woke up.”

“How was your nap, Sleeping Beauty?” Tony teased, taking a sip of his coffee.

You giggled again and fell back onto the couch to cover your blush with the blanket. “What are you guys talking about.” You asked, your voice muffled a bit. Steve walked over and sat on the couch next to you, lifting up your legs to sit. 

“We’re trying to see where we wanna go to eat. There’s a nice new Wing place a few minutes out of Town Square. Think you’d like that?” He asked, rubbing up and down your legs comfortingly. You nodded with lazy smile. 

“Alright, it’s decided then. Everyone get ready, we leave in 20.” Tony said, clapping his hands once. You got up and headed to your room to change. 

-----

You had all just gotten seated at a table after waiting for a bit. The place was still new so there were many people there wanting to try it out. You sat next to Wanda and Bruce and across from Peter and Steve. Nat was sitting next to him. As you all were waiting for your food, you looked up to see Steve sit back and wrap an arm around Nat’s chair, kinda on her shoulders while Nat scooted closer with a small smile.

You grin to yourself and dig in your food when it arrives, making a note to yourself to tease Nat about it later.

------

You got home and followed Nat around all the way to her room, without saying a word until you closed the door behind you.

“So...? You and Steve have been getting pretty close, huh?” You asked, bumping her with your elbow and smiling smugly.

“What makes you say that?” She said, folding the rest of her laundry and obviously trying to play dumb. You rolled your eyes playfully and scoffed. 

“Oh come on, don’t act like you don’t know. I think you should tell him and the team already; that you officially like him.”

“And why should I feel the need to do that yet?”

“Because... if you don’t tell him, I will.” Of course you were joking, you would never reveal a secret like that to someone. You turned on your heel and went for her bedroom door. “Oh, steeeeve!” You sang. 

You didn’t expect Nat to quickly come up behind you and stick her hands under your arms. You immediately clamped up and fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. “Y/n don’t you dare-I will stuff you in my closet and keep you hostage if you tell him.” She playfully growled, following you to the ground and wrapping herself around you like a koala and tickling your sides. You were in hysterics.

“OKAHAHAHAY I WONT TELL HIM!” You cried. You were basically trapped in her hold and could do nothing but laugh your heart out. She dug her nails in between your ribs, making you cackle and arch your back.

“Promise?” She smirked, pinching mischeviously at your hip bones.

“YEHEHES, I WOULD NEVEHEHEHER!” After that, she let you go from the hold and you sprawled out on the floor, panting. Nat smirked at your exhausted state.

“Good.” She hummed. She stood up and leaned against the bed, her lips pursing a bit as she gulped. “So... how do you feel about it?” She asks a little more serious now.

You sat up on the floor and raised your eyebrows at her. “Seriously? I ship you guys so hard.” You chuckle. “If I’m being honest, I was rooting for you guys since... years ago.” You chortled. “I really hope you guys become a thing in the future. Just know I’ll always be your #1 supporter.” 

Nat smiles at that, pulling you into a hug. “Thank you y/n. That means a lot. Really. I don’t know what would be possible of us if you didn’t support a relationship between us. Maybe now we actually have a chance.” She says. 

“Of course!” You smile and return the hug. 

-------

Tonight was Movie night with the team and you were snuggled up to Thor and Bucky. You smiled to yourself and leaned your head on Thor’s shoulder. You looked around to see everyone on the couches, sitting net to each other nd having their snacks with smiles on their faces. Right then, you had a moment where you became aware of the life you had. You had an amazing family that loved you so much and you loved them back. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. You glanced over at Ruby Anne to see her sitting net to her dad. You couldn’t wait until Ruby started to feel the same feeling you feel about your family now. You sighed happily, resting your head back on his shoulder.

  “Goodnight. Love you guys.” You sighed before closing your eyes. The rest of the team smiled at you and bid you goodnight as well. 

“We love you too y/n/n.”

-------------------------------------------

I hope you all enjoyed the series! this was really amazing and stressful and fun and interesting to write and although some of these chapters may not be that good, just know I put my heart and soul into this series and I was really happy to share it with you guys. <3 

Remember if you’d like to request a plus chapter continuing this storyline, feel free to request one but please be specific as to what you’d like to see in that chapter. Thank you so much for reading! :D

[carrywolfy]

okay i will explain the drama

lol im bad explaining things in english because google traslator messed up things but is neccesary to say also im bad at making rant because im not big fan making rants because all bad arguments i did before

i bit copy paste this on my latest deviantart jounal but some changes to be undertandable i know people will block me or doesnt be agree at me but im gonna be honest at this and without fear all everything i saying is truth

Disclaimer: im not harrassing or attack users i just telling about the biggest drama i made on the Leopets site (a fansite dedicated to old school neopets) also please dont attack me because im telling the truth and all the mistakes i made ,please do not think that I am a crybaby because I am explaining honestly and sincerely and also you ask "why you blame yourself?" uff long history but i hope people understand, apart this is not an attempt at sentimental manipulation it is only an explanation of what happened to me.

probably no one will forgive me or they will not understand but I don't care and it's worth saying this, because it was my fault that I caused drama to the Leopets site that I did ... why? there my cases:

well im sorry to say this but is neccesary to say It because is very important, is for my content  that I did before, wow wow wow what? yes is truth because i was navegating in tumblr quiet and searching "leopets" to see what happend until suddenly I saw a post about what happened in that community and they did not lie and this I have to tell is true .. I was a mental illness yes i feel idk what i turned because i before did "zoophile" art and not only i was made porn being minor (well i really make nsfw art at 14 years old in 2016) although it is one of my worst mistakes i made well why? because i was super curious lol... at first time i get disgusted but the second time i was goin to like it blah blah blah oh yeah i was pervert before.. but that's not what matters because well past things lol, Suddenly the user began to give evidence about my content that I did when I was 17 years old before being adult and one of my cringy nsfw art i made before being 18 when thinks is rapist because the "tears" part but well i was thinking "okay is just tear pleasure" but i think dont work and looks like more rapist than tear pleasure, but man is made before being changed but well, because of the content I made now they think I'm a pedophile and a zoophile and i understand and im pretty sure they doesnt forgive me because all the bad things all i made the life, when thats why i need changing my content and no-longer make ilegal content , Maybe that is not an excuse but you must understand how guilty and responsible I am, it is also my fault that I made the admins allow pedophiles,babyfurs and zoophiles and that I understand, also of course now I must mature and be a good person.

speaking explicitly about my content, good sorry for saying this and I hope you do not attack me for doing this and I must be honest with you which one according to the post (please do not attack or insult her because what she says is true) she mentined about my cringy non-human x human stuff i did before specially neopets and kirby (and some other fandoms) when Currently I no longer do human porn or anthro x feral (well I'm fine with human x human, anthro x human and anthro x anthro now ) but is necessary to tell why   In fact, I thought that fictional beings are sanpient, I mean intelligent beings that many do not know, but I thought that it would be also that if it is fiction and the puffball part i have a explaniation how can make more sense most likely they are alien beings since they can interact with other people and do things that humans do, even all aliens are different in appearance and power and sometimes they also live with humans as we saw in animated movies or science fiction (im actually dont do making canon characters i mostly do my adult fcs and legal  i mean vainilla only) , what did a mental sick go to, but it is time for me to change, besides that I put the link to my FA page for some reason, what I did went very wrong and I don't know why I didn't delete my FA account before but well it's my fault and my mentality yeah im dumb.

Speaking abouts my stamps yeah i before again i was pervert and most my stamps are bad...really really bad and i did mostly nasty stamps im sorry but i know was terrible (i plan to deactivate my old deviantart account) so yeah i before If I used to complain about people who do not like the content +18, which I currently respect those types of people because no everybody have same taste or have same thing, so im sorry for all these persons how get offended i was dumb yeah but is not your faulth,is my faulth well yeah also all the accounts i actually using are not NSFW account because im changed now well i dont stop make nsfw but i wont involving too much of that when mostly im actually make sfw art now . But the actual problem is on my cringy stamp about "I love c*ntboys" because i before doesnt know what is trans man and i was wrong saying "c*ntboys" because again before I did not know what transgender people were until I discovered that it was sorry in fact it was one of my worst mistakes that I made also that I no longer use the term "c*ntboy" now I only use the term "trans male", "trans female" and "intersex" well i hate most my stamp i made in the past and my previous account of deviantart because im suck make stamps ,mostly bad argumented and I regret having done it

speaking leopets drama i was thinking what i have done because after reading that user post when i prefer to not naming and I prefer that you investigate for yourselves but I warn you not to harrassing, insult or attack the user and she was right, although if I only made things worse but hey I'm not going to give up I felt bad and I kept thinking about bad things that I did all these years that I can't believe so I had to control myself and try to do the bad things that I did again, and is my faulth to ruin the Leopets community because my bad content i did before and my mental sick thingy,when im not longer a sick person now and im stopping making zoophile and pedophile stuff yeah... And I suggest most of the members of Leopets will not be satisfied with me but they have to know the truth about me, clarify if you and the other members of Leopets, if you are reading this I do not blame you, remember that I know as I said several times I am responsible for the page ending like this and this is a message for the admins, please do not accept more pedophiles or zoophiles since you have to know what to do how to detect one even if they do that disturbing content (like i did before) , Maybe no one will agree with me or forgive me, well if things are not solved just by apologizing but you have to understand the person who converted me and I hope to change (I am changing slowly) I promise you that I will not make illegal content again, also if it was It was a mistake to do it when I was a minor, although I was not the only one but i had some friends from other communities also did it at those ages, I know that I will not return to leopets due to the disaster I made and my reputable content that I made, although if I regret everything, believe me in 2015 when in that year I did not know leopets, I used to steal characters from other artists, even from 2014 to 2015 I traced drawings of others These artists, which later I did not do it again and I regretted it, even in 2015 I was homophobic before because I complained about gay ships because of an ex-friend of mine who was actually toxic and that made me pay attention to him and I regretted doing it, of course I had many bad moments that I did and really if it is terrible what happens, and again I do not blame them, sorry for all the things that I have done but I did not give up since I will begin to evolve a better version of me to leave behind the bad content and my repulsed behavior I did and move on to my changed content which by now will be good and more interesting (im actually mostly sfw art now), also the only bad thing i didnt is babyfur well thankfully but the rest oh god...

also yes i was Kacheekawaii34 in Leopets and i was feeling guilty to all things i ever done but well yeah i got banned on leopets because the drama i caused, also to all leopets member I am not playing the victim or manipulating sentimentally, I am only explaining the truth what happened to me and believe me I am the cause of the problems that occurred in Leopets as well as I said a true im a guilty and sometimes toxic, i dont blame people on leopets when i dont want admins let hiring pedos,babyfurs and zoophiles when again im goin to change and forgotten all the bad things i made,I know that nobody wants me not to return to Leopets but my decision is to grow up and admit my mistakes that I made.  

And one more thing to know is that we are not all the same, we are all different, I mean, we all have different tastes and different things, if for sure I will have no defense and everyone is going to humiliate me for everything I did wrong but it is necessary to know that We can all change and leave behind all the things we have done before and follow our future, even we can all make serious mistakes since effectively nobody is perfect in this world, everyone is different and we are humans and we know humans make mistakes , and im sorry i acted as sick person but i promise wont act like this again

Sorry if some things are terrible explained or repeated, it is that it is super difficult to explain this and if you already know what happened to me and if it cost me a lot to write it but it is necessary to say this the truth about me and surely as I said nobody will To forgive but .. the safest thing is that they must accept my new changes that I will have and I will not be the same as before, now I will be a respectable person and I will not do that repulsive content again and believe me everything that explains is necessary to understand and read this , It was a long time, unless almost not the same thing happened to me like with Nicchi / Blackout, the creator of the well-known fnaf fangame "Dormitabis" to which he turned out to be a pedophile to which he made the reboot of that fangame be canceled after that the team found out what happened with the creator of the fangame towards repulsive things and end up abandoning him (in addition to the fact that the creator left the internet after this scandal) well after talking about this I hope it improves me and I know Feel better since I learned from the things I did and I already had a lesson

well see ya!! and i hope the next year i be better now and changed

[astranne]

Crossover Idea Transformers/Voltron

So, another idea. Boy- today is the night of story ideas. I’m totally writing an oneshot about this, probably in german.

This one is about Voltron, yk rainbow paladins, flying giant robot-lions and fighting some aliens as a big robot-angel. And the transformers, yk big robos who can transform in cars and such stuff. But the storyline is from the new Voltron serie of Netflix.

Anyway. So, Primus has the Primes, his warriors, so who says, that his brother, Unicron (chaos himself) can’t have fighters too? And I imagine, that even if Primus and Unicron are trillions of years old, are still brothers and they still care about each other and all that. Even when they are fighting. So, if anyone has seen Transformers Prime, the serie, Megatron was a servant of Unicron. And after all this shit happend, Unicron realised, that you can’t rule with hate and fear and all the bad stuff. So he talks with Primus, (Primus a proud bro, that he finally sees his mistakes) and they search for a candidate. But nobody is good enough and time flys by. Cybertron is in peace, Megatron came back and is now friend with Team Prime. 

(Probalby should also mention, that Unicron’s earth is not the earth of Voltron... yk. It has similarities, but the humans of Unicron are much stronger and all like that. Like a super soldier.)

In meanwhile the Galras take over the KNOWN univers. You see the capital letters? KNOWN UNIVERSE. They have no idea about Primus/Cybertron and Unicron and all that. The bots and cons and all my robos are living in peace, absolut bliss and stuff... until a girl lands on a near planet. Naturally they notice and find her in a escape capsule from the Galra. She isn’t even human anymore, almost all limbs are replaced with a ‘high-tech’ protese. But worse, she’s dying. The bots/cons, (like they are in groups but one race? I’m just calling them bots, like for every race, decepicons and all the ones) can’t do much, they could heal her, if she would be totally a robot/machine, but she still needs blood and food and yeah. So Optimus goes to the core of Primus, because he knows, she is important. He can feel it. (spooky)

Primus heals her, makes her fully human again but he knows, that she’s the one. The warrior of Unicron. (And Primus, but that comes later) And from the timeline... she’s from earth, like Voltron earth in the year 10 or something. Like in the middle of the Romain Empire. She was kidnapped by Galra, because why not. And they are assholes. Most of them.

So now this girl, Diana, lives on Cybertron. She draws her energy from Primus, so she can live with the bots. She becomes friends with everyone, but her favourite is Predaking. (Is like the kindest girl but absolut badass. A little bit naive, but still cute) They have a father/daughter relationship and it’s just fluff. But one day, she dies. Team Prime went on a mission and because Diana can fight, she went with them. Predaking is mad and doesn’t want to belive that she’s dead. So again, she was brought to the core of Primus. Primus could save her, but now is the time, she becomes his brother’s warrior. He tells Predaking of his plans. Predaking just wants her to life, so he sacrificed himself for Diana. Diana becomes a bot/predacon. Unicron gives her some of his powers and since Primus transformed her, she’s now also a Prime. And because of that, Primus creates a new star saber, Unicron too. Diana, now bearing the name Predaqueen to honor her ‘father’, united the two swords and became the first CRON (A Unciron warrior) and a PRIME. So her name is now Predaqueen Prime. 

When she comes back to the surface, everyone is losing their shit. But after some time they can accept, that she’s not Diana anymore, she’s Predaqueen, a leader, a fighter, a warrior. 

Megatron becomes the second Cron, names himself Megacron and is like the right hand of Predaqueen. She improves the whole army of Cybertron, becomes an ambassador, unites the two races of Primus and Unicron and is the voice of the gods/primordal beings or what ever they are. Everyone knows, there will be a fight, and they need to be prepared.

So yeah, fast forward to the Voltron serie. Primus and Unicron tell Predaqueen that soon Voltron will be activated, so she needs to be prepared. She goes to earth (Voltron earth), goes to the Garrison and meets Shiro there. (Totally not a hint to her ship. Can you feel the sarcasm? Anyway) Her name is Diana Prime and she’s the best pilot, becomes a professor? instructor? Idk what the name is, she’s teaching the kids, while Shiro prepares for his mission. Totally sexual tension there (she’s an ancient warrior, but not dead), totally Keith losing his absolut patience, like everybody else. Before Shiro is leaving, the sneaky boy (Keith) forces them to kiss. (He’s grounded but it was totally worth it) There are some cheesy farwell words, Diana tells him to be careful. She knows, this is the start of Voltron, and it’s not going to be nice.

Diana looks after Keith, she promised it Shiro after all and is still teaching. (there are totally many of the students crushing on her.) (Is the look important? Because, I imagine her as a tall woman, slim but athletic, her hair ridiculous long and bronze broun, with blue and violett streaks. Her eyes are golden and she has tattoos on the shoulders, the sign of predacons. (like there where all the bots have their marks/signs.) On her back are all symbols of all the races of Cybertron, in the middle the sign of Unicron and Prime.) Ugh-

Anyway. She meets the next paladins of Voltron and can only sigh. She took Keith under her wing, teached him some moves so he’s a little bit prepared, but the rest? Pidge is alright, she’s a smart girl. Hunk will do okay. But Lance? Oh boy- He’s totally like Knockout, he wont take it seriously until some one dies or is hurt. And then it’s most times to late. 

When the three sneak out to rescue Shiro, Diana just watches with a smile. She waites until the next morning. And I can totally see this scene. 

Keith talks with Shiro about his time in the galaxy and then Shiro says:

“How did you know to come save me when I crashed?” And Keith answers, “You should come see this.” They walk to his house, until Shiro stops. 

“Wait, Keith- what... what about Diana?” Keith smiling softly and walking backwards. 

“If you want, I can call her. She’ll be glad you’re back.” 

Ugh, soft Shiro-

Anyway

The five find the blue lion, Shiro or better Keith forgets to call Diana and when he remebers, he’s somewhere in the universe. They form Voltron, kick for the first time Galras ugly ass and begin to train. Some days after Diana stands before the castle, Allura panicking, because this is a human and- 

“Shiro, darling, we need to talk about your disappearance in the fucking universe.” Lance, Hunk and Pidge are confused, because that’s General Prime? In the universe? 

Shiro tries to explain everything, but Diana/Predaqueen just smiles adn tells him, she knows already. He’s naturally confused and then she tells him about her mission, who she is and all that. He has a big mindblow but is happy, that Diana is back. Some fluff, because why not and Diana decides to tell the team.

“I am a Cron and a Prime.” Everybody is just blinking, because she says it like it explains everthing. With a smile, she connects herself with the castle and shows the story of Unicron and Prime. 

“And then I became a warrior of Primus and Unicron, their voice and the leader of their children. They sent me on this mission, to watch over Voltron, over you and nudge you in the right direction.” Again some blinking, until Lance speaks up.

“So, you are basically another Voltron? And there is a whole planet of Voltrons like you?” Pidge facepalms, while Keith sighes. Coran has stars in his eyes, while Allura is glad, that others fight with them.

“No. Every bot has his own mind, they are like humans, but instead of flesh, blood and a heart, they have metal, enagon and a spark. The Primes, Optimus and I, and the Crons, Megacron and I, are the strongest. We lead the Cybertrojans in war, we are the voice of Primus and Unicron.”

So now the storyline is pretty much the same, Predaqueen is with Allura in the castle, when Voltron fights, because she’s their secret weapon. When they fight in the centre of the Galra Imperium, Predaqueen transforms for the first time. She’s normally as big as Voltron, but transformed as a predacon probably five times so big. She activates the space bridge and calls all the other predacons (her people, Shockwave cloned a few more and Primus also created new sparklings) They attack the Galra force, completly surprise them but still don’t win. Voltron barley escapes, but Predaqueen detransforms and attacks the wive of Zarkon, Honerva. She know’s that many will die and the universe will probably be destroyed, if she doesn’t kill her. Honerva goes nearly mad, this beast just attacks them? To be a bit dramatic, Predaqueen summons the presence of Unicron. She’s in her bot-form, but in human size. She glows with pure power, everything near her just dies, explodes and is destroyed. In her hand is the dark star sable, pulsing with chaos and death. Unicron totally roasting the Galras, calling them petty beings and such. Honerva is killed and you would think, the Galras would stop now, but no. Lotor is wants revenge. So he still takes over the Galra Imperium and builds this ships. But this time Megacron is making his life pure hell. Ah, so Lotors new ships are made out of a rare komet or what ever? Hmm, Megacron has the enagon of Uncrion and that’s chaos himself. Bitch, wanna try again? 

So now Voltron is freeing the known universe, while Predaqueen helps. In the end, Cybertron is revealed, the Cybertrojans are now like the green lanterns? Keeping peace in the universe, because they are the ‘children’ of Prime and he’s creation himself. (I think so... or did I understand something wrong?) Voltron is still active, but now a symbol of peace and union.

Shiro and Diana/Predaqueen love each other dearly, but she still outlives him, sees how her family grows, how her children have grandchildren and so on. But still, Shiro will be her only lover, just because fluff. And basically the reason of this crossover? Because I think he deserved better.

Yikes... ugh, so if someone wants to write a story about this... I don’t mind, just tag me so I can read it and also reblogg it. 

I didn’t second read it, it’s almost midnight and yeah... if something doesn’t make any sense, I’m swiss. 

Masterlist

[gloomyartist]

I made this account as something where i can vent without bothering others. I do have friends i could vent to instead but i feel like I’m bothering them too much these past days. I am not looking for attention, i just want to get rid of the pent up stuff inside me.

I’m feeling suicidal a lot these past few months, a lot has happened that i cant just explain in a mere post. Ever since i was little I didn’t really fit in. I didn’t have many friends or anything, but i guess it was okay. As soon as i got into 3rd grade some of my friends stopped talking to me because we were arranged into different classes, but I didn’t really care. I made new friends anyways, there still was just a few but they were people i could talk to. I remember being praised by a teacher around the time for having a nice drawing. That made me really happy, being good at something. I was in 3rd place in a contest with my drawing. I drew this cute tiger. I was praised by my classmates for my drawings since then. I was happy people wanted to talk to me, but of course there were some stuff I wasn’t likeable for. I was on the chubbier side when i was a kid, not that i cared, well not until other people started caring about how i looked. Every girl seemed to be nice and thin and they all lost their baby fat, there were some chubbier boys, but boys don’t matter as much as girls when your in elementary school. I was bullied, my art skills didn’t matter anymore. The boys took my stuff, put pins inn my shoes, threw away some stuff, humiliated me and they made fun of me. The next school year it kept happening, but we had new classmates from different schools. 2 female exchange students. I wanted more friends. I tried to become their friend, one of them wasn’t interested but the other girl was. We became friends easily without knowing each other too much, as kids do. One day she was supposed to come over to my place, as she was taking out something out of here backpack i saw a box, i bluntly asked her what it was. She said “Promise you wont tell anyone, my big sister bought these for me.” I said “okay sure, tell me”, she told me that they are cigarettes. I was surprised but didn’t think of it much. Later on that day she asked me if i wanted to try a puff. I thought to myself that its just a puff, it wont do anything. I took a puff. Evrsince i craved cigarettes a lot. Even though it was disgusting and only one puff but i still managed to crave more. I found a full cigarette box at my grandmothers place once when i was alone, that is about half a year after the incident. I smoked it all, the full box. I told myself “this is the last one and then I’ll return it.” That was a lie. I was sad, I didn’t know what i should do. I was only 9. My family never found out. Around 3rd grade my mom and dad also broke up, I don’t blame my mom. My father’s a manipulative asshole. We moved cities when i ended 5th grade. I felt relieved that I don’t have to face my father that often and that i wont be bullied anymore. I came by bus to my fathers place once every 2 weeks for the weekend with my sister. When i was little I didn’t understand why we moved cities, but later on i found out it was because my father kept appearing drunk in our flat if we weren’t there or if we were sleeping. He still had half the ownership of the flat so it was legal. My mother worked hard to get us a big enough apartment with her income, i envy her. I didn’t like that i had to talk about finance issues with my father instead of my mother doing so though. I still have to talk about finance issues with my father till this day. But that’s not a big issue i guess. Nothing really happened since then, until the year 2017, I’m 12, my sister just turned 14. I’m on holiday in Barcelona with my father and my sister. I was in a terorrist attack, i still remember it so vividly. Seeing people die, I wouldn’t want even my worst enemy to see that. People bleeding out, and I couldn’t do anything to help them. I just hid. Nothing more. All i could do is calm some kids that were hiding in the restaurant with us. They were seperated with their father. I stopped crying, so they wouldn’t feel scared. Their mother was panicked though. All i could do was hug them and tell them its going to be okay. Meanwhile my sister was taking snapchat photos of her crying, that disgusted me. To be cont.

[alukaforyou]

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

[witchygalaxys]

MC Coming back to life!

Emptiness. Nothing but a dark void with no sound or light. The only sound was of my feet walking through water. The feeling of the freezing cold filled my soul, and yet it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t anything anymore. Who was I again? What was I? I walked into the void questioning where I came from. I could feel my long hair drag through the water behind me as I continued my walk into emptiness.

MC: Wasn’t I supposed to do something important? I thought…. No… It doesn’t matter any more. Nothing does and nothing did I suppose….

Voice: MC!

A voice I recognized called out. Are they calling out to me? But why? How? Who is that…?

Voice: MC! Please come back to me!

MC: Is that my name? Is that who I am… or who I was? This doesn’t feel right…Wait… I couldn’t feel anything before… What is this? What is happening?!

The void began to brighten, and all-around cracks began to appear. The once still water beneath my feet began to create waves. Tears welled up in my eyes. This feels wrong! What’s happening?!

MC: Please…. Stop….

Voice: MC I wont let you go like this…

MC: STOP! THIS WILL BREAK YOU! IT WILL BREAK ME! PLEASE!

In a blinding light everything vanished. The void was gone and when I open my eyes I’m somewhere else… Everything hurts! My heart hurts so much! What happened to me!? This is all wrong! This body… Its not mine… This heart… It hurts so much!

Voice: MC! You are here! Y-You are really here…..

I’m curled up in a ball clutching my chest. I look up to finally see the voice. Who is this man? W-What did he do to me!? Why does he look so relieved?! All of a sudden this body just jerks. Immense pain swarming the body. I open my mouth to scream but no sound comes out. The pain… its to much… This heart… it’s breaking… Its dying… No… Please… I don’t want to die again! I’m scared… Who is he!? Why did he do this to me. The body tenses up not allowing me to move it. Tears start pouring from these foreign eyes. The mouth gaping open trying to let out a scream.

Man: MC! No no no no no! It’s Okay! Breath! You need to breath!

The man wraps me in his arms. Breathing? What is breathing? Why is he so worried? Who is he? What is he doing? The man gently leans down placing his lips against this body’s lips. He pushed a puff of air down this throat. Separating for a moment to gather more air. I began to realize what to do. Gasping for air on my own for the first time. Beginning to catch on I began to breath on my own. I gripped the man’s shirt tightly. Finally getting a good look at him. His face is dripping wet from tears. The pain pulsed through my body again. Un able to hold anything back I let out a blood curdling scream. I began to claw this new body. This body that wasn’t mine. I clawed at my chest trying to pull out The heart that wasn’t mine.. The heart that was full of so much pain and sadness. Continuously screaming, I hold nothing back.

Man: No! MC Stop!

The man jumped on top of me grabbing my new wrists and pinning me down. My hair covering my eyes I kept screaming and crying. Please…. Who ever you are… Make this stop…? Please… It hurts so much... I can’t take it! I stop screaming for a moment to try and beg him to end this. But nothing but nonsense came out.

MC : Phece maje ot sep

Man: MC…. Can… You not speak?

Please… make it stop. I beg him to make it stop but I can’t do it right… I look at him with tears running down the sides of my face. I looked into his purple eyes pleading him to make the pain stop. To fix what ever he did. Put me back where I was…

MC: phes…..

Man: Do… You know who I am?

I close my eyes and bite my lip. Unable to break free from him I shake my head. Another Pulse of pain rushes through the body. Causing my eyes suddenly to open. I let out another painful scream.

Man: MC…. I-I’m…. I’m so sorry…..

He slowly reached his head down placing his lips against my forehead and suddenly the pain stopped and once again everything became dark. As I faded gently into the darkness, I could hear his voice, so soft and gentle and full of so much sadness….

Man: Sleep for now…. I’ll fix this… I promise… 

So! That is, it! I Shall explain everything! Let me explain why I used MC instead of my own OC of the MC! I want everyone to be able to fit their character into this scene. I want them to be able to picture their own MC and if they want they can draw it out! The reason I gave the MC long hair is because the mc is no longer in a body. But is only a soul and a soul is the purest form of who the person is. I don’t know how to explain it… I just picture like a holy spirit and whenever I do I think of them all having extremely long hair. That’s my reason! And when MC is brought back into the new body the body takes the shape of the soul so the body had extremely long hair as well! Eventually when the MC calms down they can cut their hair however they want.

Now to explain everything else!

Obviously, the mystery man is Asra and this situation is what I think happened when the MC was suddenly brought back to life. The void the MC is in is my representation of purgatory. I also call it my depressed state of mind! Because when ever I am really sad to the point I feel nothing I always picture myself standing in a endless void. I believe MC was in purgatory because of a lot of unfinished business the MC had. From trying to help cure the plague and wanting to make up with Asra after their fight. In my thought’s purgatory is a void where nothing exists. Being in purgatory you lose your self and who you are or were.

I thought of this scenario when I saw something similar happen in the anime “Midnight occult civil servants” It made me think of how the MC first reacted to being brought back into a body that wasn’t originally their own. Having a different heart as well. From being pulled away from nothing where you felt nothing to being brought into a place where you feel everything. I made the MC react how I saw Hyakkimaru in Dororo when ever he got a new piece of his body back. But instead of getting one piece back at a time the MC got it all back at once. Overwhelmed by everything the soul and body began to reject each other. Hence the violent attacks of pain. Even with no memory nothing felt right. It wasn’t the MC original body or heart. The soul was having a hard time clicking into place. The panic only made things worse. So Asra used a spell to put the MC to sleep to stop them from panicking and give him a chance to figure out a way to stop the rejection. So He made the MC forget the entire thing. So when the MC woke up again they would be calmer. They would simply be some one who lost their memory. But when ever the MC came close to remembering the soul and body would also begin to remember being put together and begin the rejection process again. Causing the MC great pain again. So Asra constantly would need to erase their memories again until the soul and body could fully sink together.

But that probably wouldn’t explain how Lucio was able to take the body and use it so easily right? WELL I FIGURED THAT OUT TOO! MC was not in the right state of mind when they were brought back. They were dead for a while. Locked away in nothingness. You know how your eyes hurt when you leave a dark room and suddenly enter a bright room? It’s like that but with your soul. Not just that but the soul was almost reduced to nothing as well. The faint recognition of the voice that called out to the mc filled them with emotions they didn’t understand or remember. They just knew what was happening wasn’t natural and wasn’t supposed to happen and that it was dangerous not only for the MC but for the voice they heard.

Lucio remembers everything… (I don’t think he fully remembers everything, but we will get to that in a different post.) He remembers being alive and still has his emotions and sense of self. Which allowed him to fit into the body easier. And when MC get’s their body back they have accepted what happened to them. They have a better sense of self and can now accept their new body.

That’s all I think… I hope you enjoy this! I may post similar stuff like this later. If you have any questions just ask my ask thingy! I basically made this because I love to imagine what happened in parts we didn't get to see in any of the routes. So I thought I would share one of my ideas. 

[singularname]

ooc: cats 2019 was hot garbage that doesn’t belong in the jellicle junkyard. Below are my thoughts and my review. I get pretty technical at points. So here you go. PERSONAL BLOGS DO NOT REBLOG! Liking and commenting and sending me asks about stuff is fine. But please do not reblog. I’m sure more thoughts will come out as I discuss things and such, but these are my first impressions.

positives ( will be above the cut ):

You could tell who the broadway singers were and they stood out.

Munk was good, but I have some thoughts but overall he was good. He was probably the only one that even remotely understood his character, but he still had a few off beats.

Jennifer killed it, no i wont take critiques. Memory was pretty good.

Mungo and Rumple made the debut version of their song likeable (cause I do not like the debut version of their song) yet i have thoughts.

Bustopher Jones (the song) was decent, out of all the reworked numbers it fit the best and didn’t seem to far from the reworked plot or the original, so it was a good middle ground. James did well, he’s no operatic singer, but he did well, best of the non-trained leads at least.

Gus was good but his song was a bit boring he needed someone more to play off of as that is what acting is partially

Skimble may just have been the best part of the whole damn thing. The inclusion of tap into his number was pretty smart. I do wish more of his accent shined through though.

The rundown theater worked it would have worked better if they kept it all there.

negatives ( below the cut ):

Dance was sacrificed for cinamtography which was a damn shame. this musical is one of the premier dance musicals

Munk’s voice at the beginning was far too high, and did not exude power. It got better.

Victoria being the stand in for the audience was stupid and pointless. Especially with the fact that Addressing of Cats was kept in and broke the fourth wall.

Victoria’s acceptance of Grizabella was pointless because the jellicles hadn’t accepted her, she wasn’t even considered a jellicle yet. Her agency in that number meant nothing. If she had been a jellicle it would have been better. A better audience stand in would be the fucking kittens cause its their first ball.

The lack of touching made the touching that was their awkward. It was like they were all afraid to touch and interact with each other. And the CGI didn’t help, like when Munk lifted Victoria off the car at the beginning which looked like he wasn’t grabbing her at all which we know isn’t true.

Tugger had no point in the musical because he sang his number and disappeared, and not by fucking Macavity. Jason could have done more with the character, he had the right voice, but its like he wasn’t trying.

Jenny-Any-Dots was ruined. She wasn’t a respectable cat, and the mice were stupid. Sorry, I mean the idea was cute in theory, I liked that, but the execution was stupid. And the zipping of her skin NO. It just works better with the cats acting it out like they act out skimble’s number or bustopher’s number. It didn’t add anythign to the cats sing the songs about themselves because that idea was dropped when Skimble and Bustopher even sang their songs. Like its a poor idea and poorly executed, especially since the original is like gossip the cats gossiping about who could be chosen.

Who will it be echoed only once? UGH. The chorus was fucking weak in the few moments they were given to stand out.

Speaking of clothing, the clothing choices made no sense, along with proportion of human clothing. If I put a watch around a cat’s neck it would fucking choke. Yet a ring can fit around a cat’s arm? Some of the clothing was too human like all of Misto’s costume (which why was he wearing it the full time? he looked better without it).

The replacement of coricopat and tantomile for the hip hop twins was utterly stupid and useless.

Some of the framing of songs and such especially at the beginning was bad. But that could also be because it takes you about 4 songs to get your eyeballs used to the damn CGI.

Mungo and Rumple were good, but Rumple would have been better if she kept the accent up like Mungo did. I loved seeing them do a burglary, but I prefer the musical version where the scare the cats away under the guise of macavity then have fun in the junkyard.

Growltiger had promise as a song but they only gave us a line followed by a joke so that was stupid. The whole barge shit was stupid. Their were no stakes and we never see the other cats get off the damn barge. Also griddlebone poor poor griddlebone.

The opening number was missing so many things like decent choreography. None of the choreography made them look feline, they looked like humans doing a mix of jazz and ballet. Just turning their hands over instead of open hands would have been a tremendous change. But like I said earlier what choreography there was was sacrificed for cinematography so you could see what you were supposed to see instead of letting the audience watch and see it on their own with some lighting suggestions to draw the eye away from the main dancing.

I think the concept of Skimble’s number was great, but I thought taking them out of the ballroom was stupid. But it was the strongest number and the one besides memory which had the most relation back to the original.

Why were their so many songs and verses cut? Naming of cats named only plain names, not the fun names which is where we get names of our characters from! Like half the cast is named in that number. It made the chorus seem distant and impersonal, along with the lack of touch.

Robbie should have gotten the same treatment as the girl playing victoria he had almost a bigger role than her, aside from her little grizabella moments which all of those important grizabella moments were done in seclusion. Half the reason they have agency in the stage show is because other cats can see her.

The lack of touch! enough said.

Tugger not singing Mistoffelees song upset me. Robbie did good, but he is not Tugger. Mistoffelees song was ruined by all the pausing and bullshit. There was not a climax to the song at all because it was always stopped and restarted. it felt like a dinky kids roller coaster that had no real payoff because Misto has no confidence so when Deuts appears it may not have been because of Misto at all just saying.

Old Deuts was... bad. Judi was pitchy at best (sing talking the lines just don’t work), and just not very convincing. Her presence wasn’t commanding or authoritative no matter how much Robbie tried.

Bomby was fucked three ways to hell. Taylor was okay, but the song Macavity was ruined with the catnip and all the bullshit with that. Macavity is a cautionary tale, and doesn’t fit in with the actual purpose the musical wanted it to be. Her song wasn’t as a good as normal, and it missed aspects that having it as a duet brought.

Beautiful ghosts was absolutely pointless, and quite petty of a song. Perhaps if we knew more about Victoria or she was a jellicle it would have made sense, but it just seemed very disconnected.

I am mourning the cut of Peeks and Pollicles. Because it explain its a dog, so when Bomby says it in Macavity you have a connection to the word. Here it just seemed like a nonsense word. Plus no rumpus cat. Cutting it means that Munk’s normal song was changed to skimble, and i guess misto. Also cutting it means you take a whole number away from the chorus, and thus you loose more personality of the chorus cats.

The chorus seemed absolutely pointless because you never could watch them and focus on them. They were just their not interacting with one another, not doing anything really. All of what makes the jellicles a tribe was taken away because these cats seem like strangers to one another. Not to mention taking away their solos at the beginning is a crime and again takes away from the personality of each individual chorus cat.

Jason should have sang misto’s song cause it would have given him a purpose besides a star to get butts in seats. he was their and i half wanted him to sing the end where victoria did because then he would have had a purpose but nope.

The cutting of so many verses from songs was just a shame. The musical inspires people to take up ballet, and jazz, and tap but all of it was cut for cinematography purposes and to make you look at the main actors in a different shot so their is no inspiration for the dance.

Skimble’s number had an awkward shot on the train bridge that was so far away you couldn’t even see the silhouettes any more.

I mentioned proportion earlier but like the train tracks were way off, i mean we’ve all seen Aristocats right?

Victoria not having her moment after naming of cats was sad. And whatever moment their was ruined by the assassination of misto’s character. Cause it was bad. He never questions himself as being good in the stage show just where his powers come from. But here he has no steadiness in if he is good or not, and he’s just badly characterized.

The kittens had no excitement for Tugger in his song. None of them did they seemed more happy about the milk rather than this hunk in front of them.

Macavity was shit. Seeing him throughout took away from him being mysterious and threatening. Seeing him fall at the end with Griz floating away was absolutely stupid and cartoonish and TS Eliot is rolling in his grave at that alone. Why he is not a zombie yet coming to kill Tom Hooper for fucking his poems up is beyond me. Also Macavity is a ginger cat... but he had no hint of red hair on him at all.

The jellicle ball dance sequence was bad. It wasn’t just that they weren’t cat like it was that what’s his face was trying to do a Sugar Plum Fairy and have them all dance to the quieter notes in the musical which made it seem disjointed. Sugar Plum Fairy works like that because its a light number she is supposed to make you listen for what she’s dancing too not just what you are hearing. This did not work.

The plot was stupid. The competition and stealing of cats was stupid. It was not needed. The had the element of putting on a show and talking about cats getting chosen they didn’t need macavity for more than that, or to make him want to be chosen. Him being a threat alone is good enough.

Munk did not get his fight. That was given to the damn cats on the barge. I am not happy with that.

I wish the named cats were more present in the bigger group. They blended into the background before their own songs, and then they disappeared because of the shitty capturing the cats plot device that was shitty and not needed. It took away from your familiarity with the cats who were present because we know nothing about those cats at all.

A moment of silence for all the chorus cats we don’t see or know, or were written off, and had no interpersonal relationships with each other. Literally the lack of touching between them makes it seem like all these cats are strangers to each other. Robbie tried.

Another moment of silence for Gillian Lynne’s choreography. The nuance she gave to it, that was all lost and gone.

Finally the CGI the hands were inconsistent, as was the face stuff. They had whiskers but they were hard to see, and because they had no nose or mouth (cat versions) defined it didn’t feel right, and we know it was possible to do both since the actors wore makeup.

[renee-writer]

Shamrock to a Thistle Chapter 40 Back to Work

The week goes fast as they make love in every room of their new home. They spent hours talking about their plans for the future. What they expect from each other, how they want to parent, all that type of stuff. It is, they both agree, the perfect honeymoon.

“Though, I will take ye somewhere tropical for a traditional honeymoon or babymoon.” He promises as they dress for work the morning they are returning.

“Why tropical?” She asks as she pulls on scrubs over the fancy knickers and bra she wears.

“It is traditional besides, I wish to see ye in a tiny bikini.” He growls as he pulls her close. His hand finds it's way under her scrub bottoms and over the scrap of lace.

“Ahh,” she moans as she leans her back against him,” We will be late.”

“We are newlywed. It is expected.” He leads her back to the bed. They are a bit late.

“There she is! Doctor Anderson.” Catalina announces as she hurries into A&E. “Did you get a bit distracted this morning?” Said at a whisper only she can hear. Claire just nods and reaches for her first chart. Her morning is spent accepting congratulations and explaining to returning patients why she is no longer Dr O’Leary. She has no major cases, no dramas. It is mainly simple things, sprains, simple burns, earaches, and the like. A nice way to ease back in.

At lunch, she and Catalina walk down to the canteen and meet her mum. She gets lunch and waits on her husband. “How has been your first day back?” her mum asks.

“She was late.” Catalina offers with a grin.

“Don't tease. They are newlywed. Lexy, any interesting patients?”

“None yet. Simple things really. They are easing me back.”

“Good. It will get easier to balance both. Promise.” She smiles and takes her mum's hand. She squeezes it as Jamie walks in.

“Sae sorry Dr. Anderson,” he sits the coffees down and lifts her up and into his lap. “We were suddenly slammed.”

“It is okay. You are hear now.” Disregarding the coffee, for now, she turns and deeply kisses her husband. He sighs, tangles his hands in her hair and kisses her back. Mary loudly clears her throat as Catalina giggles. Claire disengages with a deep sigh.

“Married or not, this is still a hospital and your place of employment Lexy.”

“Bur they are newlyweds.” Catalina says through her laughter.

“I have to go, anyway. We really are slammed. Have a good day, my love. I love you.”

“And I you.” They kiss again, gentler after he places her back in her seat. She watches him go with a sigh. “It will get easier, you say?”

“It will. You should always be sad to see him go and, always want to jump his bones but, you will learn to temper it.”

“Thanks mum.”

“Dr. Anderson, have a patient,” one of the nurses hands her a chart as she heads back in from lunch.

“Thanks,” she takes it and skims it as she heads to the curtained off area. Nicky Heard, age 24,. Chief complaint, returning infections. “Miss Heard, I am Dr. Anderson.” She says as she walks in. She then looks up and stops dead. It could be Nicola that sits on the exam table.

“I know,” her patient says at her shocked look. “Nicola is my twin. We aren't identical though we are aweful close.”

“Yes. You are. Sorry about that. It is just..”

“I know my sister's reputation here. I am sorry. “

“It is okay. Let's see what I can do to help you.” She starts with a full exam. She checks her ears, eyes, mouth, throat, lungs, and stomach. “Recurrent infections, where?”

“Everywhere. Started y months ago with a ear infection. That cleared. Then it came back with the addition of strep throat. After that was finally cleared, I got bronchitis. Then a bladder infection. Now, it is in my kidneys. They try stronger and stronger antibiotics but, it never goes completely away.”

Claire is examining her chart as she speaks. She is right. She has been on a pharmacy’s worth of antibiotics. She frowns. Her fear is of Nicky building resistance.

“I don’t know what else to do.”

“Okay. We are going to start with a complete blood panel. See where your defense fighters, the white blood cells, are at. I want to get you off the strong antibiotics and start you on plain penicillin.”

“You worry about resistance too.”

“Very. Especially with you have a strep infection. We wont to avoid staph. I am also going to get a clean urine draw. It will involve a catheter. Sorry.”

“Whatever is necessary.”

“May I ask why you came to the hospital? You have a family practice doctor?”

“He was just pushing the antibiotics. He didn't try to get to the heart of the matter. What is causing the infections in the first place. Besides, Nicola says you are the best doctor here.”

“She did?” her eyes are round with surprise.

“She did. My sister has issues. I am well aware of them. But, she pays attention. She studies people. I trust her judgement on this.”

“Thank you. I will send people in to draw blood and urine. Let's see what is going on.” She is mumbling to herself as she exits the room. Catalina hears.

“What is it?” She pulls her to the side and fills her in. “Really? I wouldn’t expect praise from her.”

“Me either. I need to find out what is wrong with her sister. But fear I know.”

“Yah. I will be around.”

“Thank you.” She gets the test ordered and grabs another chart. She sees a couple patients while awaiting Nicky's results. She treats them well but, half her mind is on her fears about what is wrong with Nicola's sister.

“Dr. Anderson. The labs are back for curtain 4.” She takes them and does a quick scan.

“Dang!” she whispers. It is as she feared. Taken a deep breath, she goes in to tell Nicky the news.

“Miss Heard.”

“Nicky please.”

“Okay. Nicky, I have your labs back. I am afraid it isn’t good news. Your white cell count is very low. Critically so. We need to admit you and give you meds to restore it.”

“Okay. But why is it so low?”

“One of the test I had ran was for HIV. I am sorry. It was positive.”

“I have AIDS!”

“No. You have HIV. The virus that causes AIDS. We will start you on antiviral meds. Strong ones. We call it the cocktail. It is a lot each day but, I know this is hard but, this is no longer a death sentence. People live for 20 and 30 years with it.”

“I am newly married. He is only my third lover. How do I tell him that I have exposed him to this?”

“He will need to be tested. But transmission from female to male, normal sex is very rare. We will also need to test the other two men.”

“Oh God!” Claire drops her professional armour, for a moment, and places her arms around her. She sobs against her shoulder.

“We have a counselor who specializes in this situation. Would you like to speak with her?”

“Please. Don’t tell my sister. I will after Shawn. Oh God! Shawn. But..”

“I won't say a word. I am going to start to admit process and start you on the cocktail. As well as some specific antibiotics to target the kidney infection. Would you like a mild tranquilizer?”

“Yes please. Thank you Dr. Anderson. You are as good as my sister said.”

“You are welcome. I am so sorry about all this. I wish I had better news.”

“You have an answer. Even if it isn’t one I want to hear, it is an answer. Thank you. I am going to ring my husband now.”

“I will be around if he has any questions. I will send the counselor in. And a nurse to start the meds. We will get you upstairs soon.”

“Thank you.”

Claire leaves her room on shaky legs. She collapses onto a chair in the break room. She needs a few minutes before seeing her next patient.

[camofworms]

List of coping mechanism for various brain stuff

I’m writing this list for me and for anyone who could benefit from it. Please read through this because any of these could help you. Read especially if you are mentally ill. Things to do when you are stuck

-Take a sip of water - Trace your fingers on one hand with a finger on your other hand. From one end to the other. Switch hands. And repeat until you can make more movements. - Splash cold water on your face - Open a window - Hold a dog or cat (do not recommend holding an animal that needs fast action in case of emergencies like reptiles prone to bolting) When you brain is stuck - Count to 100. Count back from 100 - List five things you see. four things you hear. 3 things you smell. two things you feel. maybe one thing you taste. Bring yourself back into reality. ground your self into the now. When you are depressed or sad - Listen to upbeat music - watch a funny movie - List three positive things that happened that day or that week - Really really try to focus on positives. It’s really hard but I promise it helps - Do an activity you enjoy. Depression can make you loose interest in activities you usually enjoy, push yourself to do them anyways. Future self will be grateful that you didn’t give up on those interests. - take a walk. or stick your head out a window - Do something spontaneous and safe - Go outside and scream as loud as you can - Cry. Just let yourself cry. I don’t mean force yourself to cry on command, I mean if you are holding something back, stop holding it.

- If you have a feeling something is causing your mood to drop, grab a pen and paper, or open up a document on your computer. Just type. Type everything that comes to mind no matter how mundane it is. Don’t even have to focus on the emotions or anything. Even if you don’t end up with a reason behind your emotions you might end up knowing what you need at that moment. Please be careful about this though. If you have trauma your not ready to safely face without professional help, you really probably shouldn’t do anything that could trigger you. If you know you need a distraction and not any reasons, listen to your gut. -Hold a warm animal -Remember all the people you know support you.  -Write letters to your loved ones. You don’t even have to give them the letters. Make sure its full of positivety though. Just write about how much your appreciate them.  -Exercise!! Do something enjoyable to you. I rollerblade. It releases chemicals into your body that will help you feel better. Even running down your street full sprint until you can’t breath will help.

Things to do instead of harming yourself (I am speaking from a place of experience) -Doodle -Get paper and just tear it up -Destroy something that you wont regret having been destroyed later. Destroying things you love could be a form of self harm. - Scream -Wrap your head up in something tight like an ace bandage (if you feel like beating yourself up or hitting your head on a wall)

- Call up a friend or message a friend to see if they can be physically with you. -Draw on yourself -Stim (repetitive or ongoing stimuli)

-Grab an old book you don’t care about and draw in the pages.

- Excercise. Yes that sounds fucking awful but make it enjoyable. I rollerblade. When I want to hurt myself I rollerblade as fast and hard as I can until I am out of breath and my legs burn. It hurts, but at least this hurt is beneficial to my health. It also releases a lot of good chemicals in your body that will help you feel better.

Dealing with executive dysfunction (difficulty starting continuing and finishing task. Look more into this because I don’t know how to define it better) - When having difficulty sorting up steps of a task. It’s okay to take time to write down the steps. And break the steps up as as far as you need to.

- Focus on the very first step. Getting up or crossing the room. -Start with something small. Wiggle your legs. Sit up. Or go get yourself a glass of water.

-This is going to sound really difficult and sometimes impossible. You might even tell me it’s prototypical nonsense, and I am not saying everyone can do this. But that wall in your brain keeping you from doing what you need to do? It’s glass. And it can be shattered. Push through it. Literally just do it. Imagine your brain is popping alive and imagine how that would feel and get up. I used to get really angry when people told me to do this but, once I started really trying to recover I realized no actual physical thing is keeping me from doing what I need to do.

- Eat something small like a granola bar or something. Takes a lot of steps and actions to do that but it comes naturally and could get the rest of your body going. -ASK FOR HELP!! I know there are people who laughed at us or got angry at us for asking for help. But if you have a friend, or someone you trust not to make you feel like shit, ask for help. You need help taking your shirt off and your partner or best friend is there? Ask for help. Need help drinking water? Need someone to physically pull you up from bed? Need someone to move a blanket from the front of the door because you can’t figure out how to do it? Ask for help.  You are not annoying. You are not a burden. Our brains are really complicating machines, and at times too complicating for itself to function.

What to do when you can’t breath (Do to panicking or anxiety attack)

- Use grounding techniques. You can research grounding techniques now and save them on a piece of paper that you keep in your pocket. My favorite one is the one I have already mentioned. 5 things you see. 4 things you hear. 3 things you smell. 2 things you feel. You can also count backwards from 100. Count forward by 2s or 5s or which ever number comes naturally. If you need physical touch and someone is available to provide that hug them or have them hug you. Weight and pressure are great for grounding. - All while doing these grounding techniques. Focus on your breathing. One breath at a time. It feels like nothing is being pulled into your lungs but you are breathing. You are okay. You are not dying.

Things to do when you can’t speak. Speaking takes a lot more energy than people realize. There is a lot of brain processing going on to get words out and into verbal sounds that make sense.

-Pull out your phone and type it down. -Come up with a way to symbol to close family and friends that you can not think or speak currently. This could be just a simple hand sign. I used to knock against my head when I was in this mode. -Don’t force yourself to speak, it doesn’t benefit you and causes more stress. -People may want to know whats going on and continue ask if you are okay. It slips from their mouth even when they know you can’t answer. You do not have to answer. Nod, shake your head, you don’t owe them an answer unless you are ready to give it. I have not personally experienced intense paranoia and delusions and do not have advise for that. Talk to people who experience it and talk to experts. I am not an export on any of these things. These are things that have worked for me and others a significant amount to write it down. Not everything on this list will work for you, but you wont know until you try it multiple times. Maybe it will work one time but not another. Please take care of yourself.

Sensory overload

- Get yourself out of the enviroment causing you to over load - Carry emergency equipment specialized for you. Headphones, sunglasses, stim toys, etc - If you are trapped in bad environment because no one will help you. Scream until they help you. Melt down if you need to. its scary as shit when its that bad but this is how i survived highschool. They won’t let me leave the cafeteria? i scream and pull my hair and call them names until they send me to the counselors office. This is last resort for dire emergencies. Because if I didnt scream I would have a meltdown in public anyways. - come up with emergency plans and tell them to those who can put them into action in case of emergencies - ground yourself - sometimes its okay to let yourself go into autopilot. Sensory underload (yah its a thing) - keep stim toys on you - if you feel you need to hurt yourself use techniques above for not hurting yourself - go on a walk - take a shower or bath - do multiple things at once. multi task - loud music - ask a friend to get up and do something with you. like spontanious excercise in the middle of the room. dance. play a fast paste video game. go on a walk with you. go on an adventure - Work on your projects to get into a flow. A term I learned in basic pych class. Essentially loosing yourself in a challenging activity you enjoy.

[lifedreamerphantasai]

Hey guys.

(This ist NOT a Post about "I will Stop with drawing"! I will Draw, and I will Show you my Results, so don't worry! 😊 Just... Had the urge to say a few words)

I know, the Last few weeks/month my content was Not the best. I only did Headshot stuff and didn't Work on improving or anything. I Just wanted to stay in flow and tried to Upload as often as I can, so that I could feel that I am doing anything. I feel Like my drawings Has No Soul and looking empty, the Same as I feel the Last weeks.

I can't promise that it will become better now or that I will "give my all to improve". Because right now, I am Happy when I have the Energy to Stand Up at the morning and get my Life together without getting anxious about ANYTHING.

I REALLY Love drawing, and it helps me to at least think that I am good at one Thing. And it distracts me from thinking about other Things. But it also makes me anxious and unsure sometimes. I think thats normal. And okay. And I try to come over it while Drawing the Things I think I CAN Draw. The simple ones. But I also know I should try more stuff, even If it's more complicated. And when this "Life - phase- stuff" is FINALLY OVER, I will do this. Until then, you have to Bear with the "simple, soulless" stuff.

I know, Its often this Depression stuff I wrote Here, But I wont apologize this time. Because it Had to be Said. 🖤

You don't Need to worry or anything. Its a Bit of a... Life-crysis ... Uh... Soft Depression Thing I am in right now, and I KNOW it will become better again with the time Being.

I Wish you a beautiful day, and thank you for your Support.

Dum di Dum ~

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

2021 Is The New Year, But I Feel Sad Tonight

things seem pretty okay at the start of this year.

still procrastinating, but if you feel up to doing what you make your goal

right away, then you should be able to try to enjoy a little relaxing, watching your favorite shows or movies, or maybe do some drawing and try to come up with ideas for future chapters for fan fic that you have to post in a different place than where you would normally post them.

but I’m sticking to that promise,

and just need time to get around to it a little more.

I’m crying right now, and not just because of the possibility of my pendulum being right about someone I considered a friend, doing something behind my back, and lying to others and well....I’m still gonna hope it isn’t true.

and my pendulum was just playing a REALLY mean prank.

I am also upset that ANOTHER person is stealing from Vivziepop,

and they can’t even understand why the Youtube User

who goes by [Redacted], is mad.

which I can understand why they are mad and well the other party who has done it might not realize it and need to be told in a gentle way about it.

and at least when others use drawings or clips,

to do dubs or music videos, they give credit.

I even mention in a journal over at the other place I go to,

about how someone else had broke the Pilot episode of Hazbin Hotel,

and even wrote for the title if Hazbin Hotel Was A Series.

I really REALLY hope both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss,

get on Adult Swim, I need to look up to see when Cuphead Show is gonna come on, all I know it is suppose to be around 2021.

I think I feel a bit better now, when I had stop typing for a few or so on this,

I was talking to family, guess it helps to talk to family at times.

I still don’t like my pendulum giving me such replies about someone I trust.

I really don’t do well with betrayal, and plus the reason like I said before

about my reasoning for chickening out about telling whats going on.

well about what that one Youtuber from before was doing,

because I know it is possible I might just end up messing it up,

and possibly get my words misinterpreted, and I thought that 

I saw the number of one of the journals, and I ain’t pleased.

it would be different if it was just my fan art or whatever,

but  I had talked about it around December of 2020, which was last year.

maybe after I check out some stuff on here, I can go sign in to Rooster Teeth

and check out Red Vs Blue or maybe even one of the Death Battles.

I asked my pendulum if any of those who saw those journals, even care

about whats going on, and well it gave a “No” but it could only mean only half of them don’t care about it.

if I could use magic to it’s fullest power, I would open a portal and get out of here every once in a while and take a nice vacation.

I would make sure to come back here of course...

I’m kind of peeved off at most of humanity, even if there are still some good ones....which it is the good ones that make me not be full on Misanthrope.

so yeah I’m just Semi-Misanthrope.

I wonder if I have become a bit more sensitive than normal?

it could have to do with how I had got over a depression in 2015, but then the next year I ended up in a whole new mess...

I really need to try not to let myself fall into another depression after having recovered from one that was from what was happening at home.

well I was always sensitive and when I get really sad about something,

I would end up crying.

I just really hope that everything works out, and people who can explain what’s going on much better than me, will tell the team whats going on.

I just need to try not to worry about it too much about it.

another thing I should try not to worry about, is the fact my pendulum gives me a Yes, about being in love with...someone I can’t say the name of.

just because we MIGHT of been together in one of my past lives,

don’t mean it is going to happen in this life.

best to just try to ignore it and bury it deep deep deep very deep down,

or least try to.

having a crush I can handle.

but my pendulum has to be playing a really mean prank on me about who I am supposedly in love with.

I know I let things get to me too much, and well because of how badly I was hurt.

and how I had to give in to such unfair demands, that didn’t really fix the problem at all....and we could of worked it out if I was just told...

and if it was about a journal, then they could of just told me...

great now I’m crying again, and it isn’t just because of well that mess from a few years ago.

I guess even though I did get better after a second depression, which was partly my fault because I let what happen get to me too much.

and well it put me in a very darker place than what I was put in when that nightmare stuff was going on around at home.

I want to try to talk with friends more, but at the same time I still need to have time to myself, like a lot.

I am still tired of being hurt past my breaking point,

and I really hope that my pendulum is just playing a really mean and cruel prank, not from the whole me being in love with.......someone.

but because of the thought of being purposely hurt...

it is possible my pendulum when it doesn’t give me a truth, or a friendly prank.

like the one where Gaster being real and he implanted the idea of Undertale and Deltarune in Toby Fox’s Mind...

or the whole my soul despite being in a human body,

is a upside-down heart, which is kind of like the Monster’s Souls from Undertale....

those are fun pranks it does.

but anyway it is possible that it shows me worries,

things that I know would hurt me deeply.

maybe I should make it charge by the window again,

as well as take some food salt,

pray with it in my hands to the Divine Father & Mother,

and throw the food salt on to the pendulum.

I had discovered I can get rid of certain negative energies

that end up on some stuff we have, by taking some food salt

(that we normally eat with.) then pray with it in my hands,

then throw it on the said item.

well at least it is being honest about the whole embarrassing empath thing.

and about how the bracelets I wear seem to now protect me from such energies.

I’m not saying what it is on here though...

it could at least give a No about it not being true,

and it was just joking.

and maybe I shouldn’t be too mad at well the ones who couldn’t understand

what they were doing with Hazbin Hotel and even Helluva Boss.

but even if some people might stand up for them, and might even resort to some name calling.

but there are lines fans should never cross.

and even if fans do use some parts of clips, or mix clips up into a fan music video, it is important to make sure that those who see it,

will understand the clips belong to it’s original owner or owners.

otherwise it will be like that false report on the original Undertale Amv

yes someone did do some subs for it, but the one who gave the false report,

might of not bothered to check the day or month of the said two.

and I believe that the one who did subs for the Amv, did ask for permission.

I have mention before that I dislike the negative side of Youtube,

cause they let false reports happen.

I like the positive side of Youtube,

and I hope all of you understand what I mean.

maybe I should try doing mediation again,

but maybe I should wait until tomorrow....

I might not be in the right mood for it right now.

I got a violin for christmas, but I’m not very good at playing it,

but that’s fine, I don’t mind if I sound a little terrible on it.

another thing that my pendulum is full of Determination

to prank me with, is it still giving a Yes about Jesus Christ having Descendants.

and I guess since I know it is a prank, I can say it here.

I keep asking if Jesus is my Ancestor, and it keeps giving me a “Yes”

I ain’t telling my family I been asking my pendulum questions,

that need a “Yes” or “No” type of reply.

and i sure ain’t telling them that the pendulum keeps pulling the same prank about well Jesus who is suppose to be like a very distant cousin, being like technically my ancestor too...?

I think it is just one of it’s pranks.

maybe I really should get the food salt prepared to throw at it,

make it go into a time out and stop pulling such mean pranks.

at least it giving a Yes about W.D.Gaster being real and implanting the idea of the two video games of both Deltarune and Undertale into Toby Fox’s mind,

is a really good and funny prank it is pulling.

okay I think I feel better now and am not gonna cry again.

I know I had mentioned before about the whole being a descendant of King David.....which the Virgin Mary is the descendant of him too,

which makes Jesus technically a very distant cousin...

King David was a dysfunctional Dad, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Grandpa Solomon was the same...

even if you might end up with a really cool ancestor or ancestress,

there will always be ones that will disappoint you.

but anyway this ain’t about the dysfunctional ancestors....

I need to try to keep to my happy place and try not to let worries

and hope the whole stuff that I had talked about before.

oh and no matter if your religious or atheist,

it’s fine ya don’t think much of what was said,

after all it has to be my pendulum just pulling one of it’s pranks.

not about being a distant cousin thing,

I knew that way before I got my pendulum.

I think I might of known before I got it,

I know that someone in my family told me about

the whole we are family to Jesus...

you know if he did have a daughter way back many moons ago....

my pendulum gave me a truthful Yes, so yeah...

if he did have a daughter, he would of treated her better

and not be like King David and how he didn’t do anything to help Tamar.

but if anyone who is atheist doesn’t believe about all that,

I wont force ya, it’s fine if you don’t want to.

I mean I did once thought I was Christian, and even went by it for some time.

I can still have the same believes as when I did thought I was a Christian like the rest of my family.

but I am a Ma-Acolyte, I believe in well The Divine Father, Mother and Jesus.

but it is fine that no one believes the same as me, plus I don’t believe it is right to force convert.

if someone wants to convert, it should be of their free will.

you should never make them feel bad or tell them if they don’t,

they will go to hell.

well being “Gay” ain’t gonna be the reason you go to hell,

no matter how many times people say it will.

that is one of the honest and 100% truthful replies to my questions,

that my pendulum gave me.

so yeah being Gay ain’t a sin.

and my bigender identity & being Aroaceflux ain’t a sin either.

in case anyone doesn’t know about well the whole bigender thing.

it is like two gender identity,

for me I still see myself as my biological birth gender.

but at the same time I see myself as Non-Binary too.

so yeah I am Gyno-Agender.

it took me some time to figure out the true parts of me.

I’m listening to the parody of ADDICT right now,

it is nice that they make sure to put the original link to the original maker of the song as well as the music video that it was used in.

it suppose to be Valentino and Vox singing it.

(with Velvet too.)

why do I find Valentino & Vox’s voices attractive.

well I do find Stolas’s singing voice really charming.

well there are different ways to be attracted to others.

like a sirens singing voice, you can’t help but be enchanted.

I think after getting some feelings out, I really do feel better.

might not be able to do a lot of what I want to do on here right now.

so maybe just a few things, like how I heart/faved two posts when I had first signed on this year in 2021.

and by the way there was a reason why I put “Redacted”

it is like to censor a name, I even decided to do that after figuring out

about well what was wrote in that Five Nights of Flirting I had downloaded.

it’s basically a AU of a AU, but according to the person that made the fan game, the original creator doesn’t want to be named.

I really need to figure out how not to die so fast in that game.

at least it gives you a option of being Male, Female or Non-Binary/Genderfluid.

        and well I am kind of both of the Female and Non-Binary part.

but I can just pick all three for different routes.

but the game is “M” so it isn’t for everyone.

speaking of “M” rated, I need to make sure when a younger family members

come over, I need to make sure they don’t get their hands on my M rated games.

there are some things that a little kid should NEVER see, not until they are old enough.....

there is just some things you do not let your kids see,

and if they do, they might understand later on that they weren’t the proper age to see certain movies or shows, and they want to try to stop the cycle from repeating.

maybe I shouldn’t bother with placing tags for this.

I decided to ask my pendulum again about the whole friend thing

and if they were just joking, and I believe I asked it to be serious

and I felt mad too, so maybe becoming a little more mad at it, will give a answer that isn’t a mean prank that is from my fears.

I just don’t like being betrayed,

that had happen to me before, with a boy who I thought was my best friend.

the teachers were no help either,

couldn’t just understand from my point of view.

anyway maybe I will check out some stuff on here first,

then I will go watch some cartoons and try to stay in a happy place.

anyway see ya later, stay safe and happy late new year everyone. 

PS:

this time the pendulum had admit it was joking, so yeah it better not pull such a prank again....but I think for a few days I wont use it....

but I will throw food salt on it....that joke it was playing wasn’t funny.

it was one of the reasons I started to cry and worry.

so the pendulum is gonna get a timeout for the rest of the day...

[felixeslee]

92 q tag

hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

🌙 LAST

Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 

Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 

Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg

Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 

Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 

Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 

Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 

Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 

Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf

Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 

Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 

Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao

Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 

Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..

Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 

What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 

What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH

Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner

Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING

Blood type: i think a????????????

Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 

Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge

Zodiac sign: capricorn!

Pronouns: she + her

Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down

College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!

Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!

Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 

What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber

   🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 

First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 

First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember

First vacation: CHINA prob???? 

First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing!!!!!

I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 

Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 

Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 

Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 

Career: waterbottle 🌙 

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 

Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 

Shorter or taller: TALLER

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 

Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 

Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 

Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 

Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 

Drank hard liquor: nO 

 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 

Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 

Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 

Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 

Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D

Miracles: lol yes 

Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg

[witchesofmysticfalls]

Children of the Damned - 1

"Are they decent!" I call out from the door. I have my hands over my eyes as I wait for Damon to get Stefan and Elena our of bed.

"You can come in" He calls out. I walk in and approach them.

"So in order to open the tomb we need to find the journal. To get the grimoire to open the spells. First things first since you are Elena Gilbert, your on journal duty" Damon orders.

"Since when am I helping?" She asks. "Well Stefans helping, and you've taken up residence in Stefans bed, ergo..." Damon trails off, proving his point. "I'll look for it tonight" Elena says with a groan,

Elena lays back down in the bed, pulling the sheets over her face.

Damon nods pleased "Good."

"How do we know that this journal will hold the location of the grimoire? We're really going to take the word of this vampire? He seemed like a bit of a dimwit" I question, tossing my arms at him.

"In lieu of any other options."

Elena pulls the sheets down and sits up suddenly.

"OK, what exactly is a grimoire, anyway?" Elena asks.

"It's a witch's cookbook." Damon explains.

Stefan goes on to explain exactly what it was. "Every spell that a witch casts is unique unto itself, so every witch would document their work."

Damon nods, his eyes saying 'yes Stefan, we discussed that'

"Yeah. Cookbook."

"What about our mystery vampire? Dimwit obviously wasn't working alone, so whoever's out there knows who we are."

"And I don't like that disadvantage, so..." he claps his hands together "Chop, chop." We both start to walk out of the room, when he turns around, and continues to walk backwards out of the room while talking to Elena and Stefan.

"You know, I really like this whole menage a foursome team thing. It's got a bit of a kink to it" I roll my eyes at him and exit the room with him behind me.

"Don't screw it up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you think Damon really believes us?" I ask as I head into the kitchen for a snack. Stefan and Elena where looking through her family things in search for the journal.

"That we're trying to help him?"

Stefan shrugs ever so slightly "I don't think Damon wants to believe. Trust isn't something that comes naturally to him" Stefan explains as I hand him an apple.

"You know.." Elena speaks up from her seat. "I really think that Damon believes that everything he's done, every move that he's made, he's done for love. It's kinda twisted but kinda sad" Elena admits as she shuffled through a box of her family's stuff.

"There are other ways to get what you want. You don't have to kill people. Damon has no regard for human life. He enjoys inflicting pain on others" Stefan argues.

"For me 145 years, every single time I have let my guard down, and let Damon back into my life, he's done something to make me regret that. I'm not gonna make that mistake again"

"so what do you think will happen if the tomb gets open and Damon gets Katherine back?" I ask, weary of the answer. "I think that no matter what Damon promises, a lot of people will die" I sigh and Elena exhales.

She pulls out a picture that draws Stefans attention. "That was Jonathan Gilbert"

"What are you guys doing?" Jeremy questions as he enters. "Hey, just looking through some stuff. Feeling sentimental. Dad has this old family journal from years ago I thought I'd dig it up" Elena explains.

"Jonathan Gilbert's journal?" Jeremy asks as he hops on the counter. "Yeah, what do you know about it?"

"I just did a history report on it" Jermey explains. "Oh" Elena says in interest

"So where is it now?"

"I gave it to mister Saltzman, he wanted to see it" I exchange glances with Elena and Stefan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't find it" I mutter as I rummage through Mr.Saltzman's desk. We broke in to look for the journal, not wanting to waste any time.

"Quiet" Stefan says suddenly stopping my movements. The door burst open and mr.saltzman shoots a wooden stake at Stefan who catches it easily.

Mr.saltzman reloads and Stefan grabs the gun from him. "You shouldn't have done that" He says as he shoves him to the ground. "Stefan!" I scold as I step in front of him.

I turn to look at mr.saltzman who is now scrambling to get up. I hold my hands up to show I mean no harm. "It's okay, we're just here to talk" I explain.

Stefan points to a chair, "Have a seat"

Mr.saltzman reluctantly sits down and Stefan inspects the gun. "What is this compressed air? Make it your self? Who are you?" Stefan says taking a step towards him, seeing the fear in him I speak up,

"He wont hurt you" I say to calm him. "Unless you try that again" Stefan says as he hands him the gun.

Stefan sits down on one of the chairs, "Now..who are you?"

"I'm a teacher" Stefan tilts his head not wanting crap. "Are we gonna have to do this the hard way?" He asks. "Stefan.." I hiss low between my teeth.

"I'm also a historian, and while researching Virginia, I-made a few discoveries about your town"

"So you show up like van helsing" I joke "Come on, tell us the truth" I prod.

He chuckles "My wife was a parapsychologist. She spent her life researching paranormal activity in this area. It was her work that lead me here"

"Where's your wife?" Stefan asks "Dead. A vampire killed her" He confesses. That takes me by surprise

"Where's the Gilbert journal?" I ask crossing my arms.

"What do you want with it?" Alaric asks. "Where is it?" Stefan presses on. "It's on my desk" He says. "No it's not" I say, I searched it three times.

He looks over and then back to us.

"It was on my desk"

"How long have you been aware of me?" Stefan asks. "I learned just recently. What about your brother?"

"You met Damon" I say, recalling seeing them talk at the decade dance. "Who do you think killed my wife?" It's more of an answer than I question. I press my lips into a grim line and bite my tongue back.

"Are you certain it was Damon?" Stefan prods. "I witnessed it" I feel a chill up my spine, he's here for revenge no doubt. I can't help but understand what he feels, he lost someone too, at the hands of Damon.

"If your here for revenge, this is gonna end very badly for you" Stefan warns. "I cut wanna find out what happened to my wife"

"I thought you just said that Damon-" He cuts me off with a hand. "Yeah. I saw him, draining the life out of her. He must have heard me coming cause he just....disappeared. So did her body, they never found her" Alaric says with a sigh, looking away.

"Damon can't know why your here. He'll kill you without blinking" I nod in agreement with Stefans words. "I can take care of myself" Alaric argues.

I scoff "No you can't. We can help you, if you let us"

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[waitinginthedarke]

Maybe Someday

A Kwon Jiyong Story

Summary: She was a rose, and he was the darkness that should have killed it…but when a rose is made of enough light to penetrate even the deepest darkness, sometimes the two are able to become one…

Genre: Fluff, Smut.

Chapter 2.5

Your ears were ringing with the music thumping through the room, and your head was spinning with how low your blood sugar levels were, but you refused to stop dancing as you completed each move, first in your head, and then in the mirror, your heart running too slow for your lungs, but the desire for the routine to be perfect; to not let the other girls down, was too strong to stop you.

‘Y/N, you need to work on your footing with your left leg!’ calls the choreographer, making you internally weep, but bringing your attention to the exhaustion in the muscle there and causing you to force it to work faster.

‘Jinnie, you’re too slow on the turns, you need to pick it up- and Jaemin how many times do I have to tell you its left THEN right?!’

You want to snap at the man criticizing your group, hating how he was dragging them down despite how hard they’d been working recently, even though you knew he was only doing it to make sure you would all be perfect for debut. But before you got a chance, Chaehyeon had suddenly collapsed to the floor on one of the turns, and you all pause for a millisecond, before you rush past everyone to her aid.

‘Are you okay!? Get her some water! Chaehyeon-ah, what happened?-‘

‘I…Sorry, my head…just got really fuzzy... for a minute.’ She groans quietly, her eyes barely peeling open to look up at you where you were holding her in your arms, and you cant stop the anger and worry flaring in your veins as you grab the bottle of water from Jinnie and gently begin to feed it to her, before glaring up at the choreographer.

‘Practise is over-‘

‘Y/N, you cant just-‘

‘I SAID ITS OVER!’ you shout, any worry over your fragile position in the company being completely forgotten as you and the other girls proceed to fret over your friend, and the man walks out of the room, grabbing his stuff angrily as he goes.

‘Do you really think it will be okay if we go, Y/N?’ Jaemin asks quietly as you finally manage to get Chaehyeon to sit up, her tone worried yet exhausted, and the sound forces you to smile kindly as you touch her arm reassuringly before brushing some hair behind her ear soothingly.

‘We aren’t going to be as good as they want if they don’t let us rest. Besides, I’ll make sure you wont get punished for going home; im going to go and attempt to find Yang in a moment since I was meant to be meeting with him afterwards anyway. Don’t worry, honey.’ You murmur quietly, patting her head like a dog as she smiles at you thankfully, before turning your attention back to Chaehyeon and seeing her frowning up at you in bemusement.

‘You’re braver than I am, Y/N. Yang scares the crap out of me.’ She states tiredly, smirking at you as Jinnie helps you help her back to her feet, before you sigh and shrug as you turn to make your way to the door.

‘Someone’s got to do it.’

Your palms are sweaty as you ride up to Yang’s office in the elevator 10 minutes later, knowing he was probably going to be put off by the fact that you were an hour early, but also still being filled with such gumption after Chaehyeon’s collapse that your heart was racing readily as you stare definitely at the doors in front of you, practicing your business face in the mirror plated doors-

-just as they open on possibly the one person in the world you would have prayed they wouldn’t.

‘Oh. …I…hello.’

Why?...why?...why?why?why?why?why-

‘Uh…hi.’ You mumble embarrassedly, eyes remaining wide where you were so stunned to see Kwon Jiyong stood before you once again, that its not until he quickly reaches forward to hold the elevator doors open before they could shut again, that you realize you hadn’t moved in a solid minute.

‘Oh, sorry.’ You mumble, quickly stepping out of the lift and trying to side step him, but ending up almost crashing into him with how wobbly your legs are from the past 4 hours of rehearsals, only being saved from crashing to the floor by him quickly grabbing your arm to keep you up, his other hand grabbing your waist to help.

‘Woah, are you okay?’ he asks, his question barely getting through the hyperventilated thoughts filling your mind as you stare blankly ahead of yourself, wondering what the hell to do and ending up quietly clearing your throat before managing to stand up properly and face him, stepping away from him the tiniest bit but finding his hand refusing to let go of your elbow.

‘Uh…yeah, no, im fine…Im just tired from practise.’ You chuckle nervously, glancing up at him and seeing him looking down at you with what you were tempted to describe as a concerned expression, but was probably just him being frustrated he had to deal with someone as menial as yourself.

‘Are you sure? You’re very pale…you look like you might faint.’ He points out worriedly, dipping his face into your vision, before he’s suddenly pulling gently on your arm and guiding you over to the window seat at the side of the elevator, making you sit as he crouches down in front of you.

‘Honestly, I’m-‘ you go to protest, but your voice is so quite where you’re so taken aback by his actions, that he’s interrupting you almost instantly without realizing.

‘He really needs to stop working the trainees so hard- especially with your debut not too long from now.’ He mutters absentmindedly, staring up at you and seeming to inspect your face, before a smile pricks at his lips as he sees you staring at him.

‘Drink some of this.’ He murmurs, digging into the tote bag hanging from his shoulder and bringing out a small flask, the signature shape of it not factoring into your mind as he unscrews the lid and holds it out for you, smiling warmly when you automatically take it from him shakily, staring at it blankly for a second as you mutter a thank you, before taking a swig.

‘OH!’ you gasp after you’d swallowed the single sip of whiskey you’d taken and felt the liquid burn your throat, squeezing your eyes shut and shaking your head until it was sitting straight again and you could peak your eyes open at him to see him grinning amusedly at you.

‘Sorry, I probably should have warned you.’ He chuckles, taking the liquour flask back from you as you grimace at it, trying not to enjoy the slow burn that somehow began to soothe your muscles and make you feel warm inside as you thanked him again, voice not quite as weak as before.

‘So how come you’ve come up to Yang’s office, have you got a meeting with him?’ he asks as he slips the metallic bottle back into his tote bag, smiling at you when he looks back down at you, before sliding to sit beside you on the seat, his proximity surprising you, and causing chills to run up and down the left side of your body as you look at him.

‘Actually…yes. But not for another half an hour.’

‘Oh. …so you finished practice early?’ he asks, brow creased in confusion and you wonder why he’s paying you so much attention to you instead of simply going about his business. But since he was paying attention to you, you couldn’t help but keep him talking to make him stay.

‘Kind of…I told the other girls to go home because one of them collapsed during practice…plus, I was fed up with the choreographer continuing to rip into us. -I know its his job and he’s only trying to make us better, but im so worried about their health and making sure they’re okay, I know Yang will only be more angry if-‘

‘Hey! Calm down! Breathe.’ He suddenly cuts you off, reaching out to grab your arms to get you to look at him and watching you carefully as he encourages you to draw air into your lungs, waiting for you to get calm enough before he smiles at you kindly and you feel his thumbs smooth over your skin.

‘I know how stressful it can be…I’ve been there before, you know?’ he murmurs, chuckling quietly, before seeing the way you’d glanced down to stare at his hands on your arms, and slowly, and seemingly regretfully, letting you go.

‘I’ll tell you what; I have to talk to Yang anyway, so how about you go home, and I’ll tell him what happened? And that way you can get enough rest to start again tomorrow, and you also wont have to deal with Yang.’

You stare at him, completely bewildered by his proposition and being half tempted to think he was trying to trick you into showing you were weak, the thought immediately having you shaking your head.

‘I think it might make him angrier about the whole situation if I get you to tell him. …you are you after all.’ You murmur, watching him cautiously as his mouth opens in an attempt to restrain a smirk as he nods his head, looking down at the floor to gather himself before glancing back up at you.

‘I think im going to take that as a compliment-‘

‘Of course it’s a-‘

‘But with the way you look like you’re going to drop from exhaustion at any moment, im still going to insist on dealing with Yang for you…-I promise I’ll make sure he doesn’t get angry at you.’ He says, winking at you, and the action has you suddenly inhaling quietly, so taken aback by the flirtatious nature of the move that you almost forget to keep a calm composure, and quickly glance away from him before he could see the way you’d been affected by him.

‘I’m still not sure-‘ you go to argue again timidly, knowing you’d feel uneasy about the whole situation until you knew what had happened, but he’s quick to interrupt you.

‘Y/N, sometimes you need to let people help you…especially when someone as ‘powerful’ as me is offering.’ He chuckles, his fingers curling around the air quotes making you think back to when his hands were touching you, and you feel heat creep up your neck, before you look back at him and find yourself unable to hold back a smile as you meet his eyes.

‘But surely you’ll expect me to pay you back? Whats the catch?’ you ask curiously, your worry dissipating as a wave of confidence rolls through you out of no-where and you straighten your shoulders as you challenge him with your eyes, catching the smirk that lingered around his lips at your suddenly bold statement.

‘No catch-‘

‘I don’t believe you.’ You state immediately, the line making him laugh at your complete disbelief of him, the way his head falls back with the action having you captivated by him, before you watch him sigh with a grin and peak back at you.

‘If you wont accept that there is no catch…then maybe we should leave it at, you owe me a favour- I promise I wont make it too bad if I ever need to use it though.’ He comments off-handedly, smiling knowingly at you, and the tinge of heat in the look has your stomach battling against butterflies, the uneasy feeling causing you to realize just how comfortable he’d managed to make you in the space of 5 minutes.

‘I could probably agree to that.’ You squeak, biting your lip as he leans toward you slightly and sighs happily, smiling warmly as he regards you for a moment, and when you catch the way his eyes flicker to your mouth your mind runs wild with possibilities. But just as a silence begins to consume you both, the moment filling with any number of possibilities as his mouth slips open the tiniest amount and his breaths become slightly audible, the elevator suddenly dings to signal someone’s impending arrival, and you both look towards it to see Yang himself walking out of the silver-plated metal doors, glancing up at you both and pausing just as he steps out.

‘Jiyong….Y/N….Are you both waiting for me?’ he asks, his nasally voice silently asking whether you were waiting for him together or separately, but before you can even stand and instinctively explain the situation to him, Jiyong has beat you to it and the two of you stand simultaneously as he addresses the older man.

‘No. It was just me, hyung. Y/N was on her way home.’ He explains swiftly, his charming smile seemingly putting Yang at ease, despite the way that when it turns on you, you can only stare at him questioningly, taking a few minutes to nod in agreement- an action that causes Jiyong’s eyes to twinkle mischievously.

‘Yes. I-‘

‘Don’t we have a-‘ Yang goes to ask, his brow furrowing as he remembers the meeting you’d scheduled to have with him about the album’s debut and the progress of the group, but before he can even speak the question Jiyong is clapping his hand on the man’s shoulder and beginning to guide him down the hall in the direction of Yang’s office, talking over him as he begins to explain the situation and you’re left staring dumb-foundedly after them, only being brought out of your daze when Yang disappears and Jiyong pauses to look back at you to send you another wink, before he too disappears.

Shit.

(T.B.C)