chatfanatique

[dxsertrot]

The good thing about pain is that it always dulls over time but the shitty thing about it is you can still always feel it peering back at you in the moments you finally feel peace

[mylight-png]

"Joydaism"

This is a word I first heard yesterday, at the Pegisha closing ceremony. Honestly, I was really tired and didn't process much of what was going on that morning.

But that word stuck out to me.

Because there is so much joy in Judaism. Yes, antisemitism is the oldest hatred. Yes, antisemitism is on the rise right now. Yes, antisemitism sucks.

But Judaism is not antisemitism.

Judaism is joy.

Judaism is singing while waiting for the subway, and random people joining in. Judaism is ancient traditions continually being passed down despite others trying to stop us. Judaism is dancing and swaying with our hands around the shoulders of our friends, and pulling in anyone willing to join the fun.

But how does Joydaism help us now? How does it help us in the face of rioters wishing for our deaths? How does it help in the face of a war beyond our control? How does it help us in this crazy world we live in?

I don't really have an answer that I can write out directly, but let me tell you about a situation my school's Chabad group found themselves in at 2 AM in Times Square a few days back.

Essentially, they were simply trying to tour around Times Square at night, after a day of Pegisha events. While there, a small group of pro-Hamas protesters approached them and started bothering/harassing them.

What would you do in this situation? I'm not proud of myself, but I'd probably start just arguing with them.

But what did the chabad group do?

They started singing.

They sang "Am Yisrael Chai" and "David Melech Yisrael" and "Hava Nagila" and a bunch of other Jewish songs. And they danced.

The protesters left, and the guy doing photos on the Red Steps in Times Square not only took their photo for free, but even took a selfie with them in admiration.

While I was there, I kept joking that Pegisha felt a bit like a musical, with a bunch of people randomly singing for no apparent reason.

But that music, that joy, that Jewish pride, it has an impact.

And that's Joydaism.

Don't kill 'em with kindness. Kill 'em with Joydaism.

(And because I know some antisemitic idiots will intentionally misconstrue my use of "kill". I am using it for the purpose of a figurative idiom. I am not promoting acts of killing/violence.)

[asofspades]

My mother just described dysgraphia as "weird writing dyslexia" yesterday and I need to share how she got to that conclusion yesterday.

My sisters were doing homework and I stopped by to do an overview in case they needed any help, I go back to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and my mother asks me if they're keeping their writing neat to what I answer that yes, they are doing that. She sighs and complains about how one of them sometimes has bad looking writing that's a bit hard to read because she tries to rush or just doesn't want to do homework so she doesn't put in any effort. And then she says "at least they're not you"

A bit of context, I am hyperlexic, which means learning how to read and then advancing reading levels way too fast wasn't hard at all, but I struggled when it came to learning how to write properly, my handwriting in primary school and my first year of college was nearly impossible to read, I kept writing in a way the first line would start at the far left corner of the page and the last one would be just a word at the far right bottom corner of the page. Plus I would switch places of letters in a word, skip letters inside words and could never stick to doing Fs or ls with the same graphs, I would then grow to mix cursive letters and regular letters to make my current handwriting, my o's and a's were and still are extremely similar, so are my Vs and Us, my g doesn't look like a g, my Ms and Ns change from looking like Ws and Us to Ms and Ns randomly, I write certain words as if I was left handed when I'm right handed, (I also don't grip the pen right because of hyper mobility but that's probably not and issue) .... You can imagine the stress my parents were under with me when they did homework with me (they didn't handle it well, in fact they dealt with it catastrophically wrong) Also, the changing letter places in words or omitting them also happens when I'm typing it's just easier to see and correct in a screen but I've got some fun typos out of that due to autocorrect trying to correct some of the spelling abominations I've written😂

Right, so she goes "but I don't think you have dysgraphia, it's more like a weird writing dyslexia" and I was like "well yeah, that's dysgraphia but you know what, I'm going to be calling it 'weird writing dislexia from now on'"

I found it extremely funny.

I feel like I need to attach a picture of my current handwriting, this are personal notes I'm making to sum up the units I have in my master's degree subjects, they're not writing extremely fast but I'm also sot spending an hour plus on each unit just to make them legible for everyone else

Also, it's in Spanish so if you can't actually understand anything that's because you don't know Spanish, I felt like I should add that disclaimer

[natureismynature]

I'm finally home and ready to talk about The Book!!

So, this book I've been talking about was found by Roier yesterday when he was looking for Cellbit in the castle. I don't think anyone thought much of it since Grandma's room is kind of a hotspot for almost all of Foolish's pranks. But I'm telling you, this one is NOT a prank. Especially not when said book was found accompanied by a VERY illegal gun.

Now. Here's the contents of the book.

i hope this finds the right person... hide it for now, be careful who you tell.

7 space 27

no one suspects a thing

that was a giant middle finger... asshole

no meaning. just for fun :D

3000 cielo 0

could someone find this first (alternatively: someone could find this first)

Ok, now that we've laid that all down, I'm gonna start rambling and theorizing under the cut

If you guys remember, Forever tried to barter Foolish's gun for his silence/lesser aggression. But Foolish told him he already had other plans for the gun... and I guess this was it.

I suspect he did this during that time Aypierre was doing a 24-hour stream and he randomly logged on. He usually logs on offline nowadays if he was hiding something from chat and other people... anyway, that's not the point! The point is the binary code on the first page and whatever the hell that was on the last.

The binary code translated to "7 space 27" which means. Literally nothing. Or DOES it?

Because I refuse to believe Foolish just randomly typed out binary code on a secret book handing over his gun to whoever finds it (most likely assumed to be Cellbit) which ACTUALLY translates to something. So I dug around and bullshitted my way to find a SOMEWHAT acceptable conclusion because I am not delusional and will never be as smart as Cellbit.

Keep in mind I have no fucking clue how enigmas work and used a chart for this bullshit. Specifically this one:

According to this chart, if we take the translated code and refer to them as our decimals, we've got 7 and 27 to look at. Now, if we look at our decimals' rows, we will get BEL and ESC as our ASCII symbols.

I searched up what they meant and they are literally:

BEL - bell, alert

ESC - escape

Now if we take those and complete the "sentence" that was there originally it would become "Alert space Escape" which is... something... but don't quote me on this, I could be 100% wrong.

But enough of that because my brain is already mush. Let's check the next one!

Next one being "3000 cielo 0"

I looked up what cielo meant, and it had various different meanings, but the common denominator was that it was high up. (i.e. sky, heaven, roof) But it could also be used as a term of endearment like mi cielo (my heaven) or something along those lines. And 3000 is some kind of angel number or something that means love and stuff.

My immediate thought upon searching up these two is the phrase "I love you 3000" but I might be grasping straws here. This might just be cords to a place somewhere up high with 3000 and 0 as the x and y axis. But you know, I like to make things harder for me.

Honestly, if you're still here and reading this paragraph, then I applaud you for being smart enough to understand whatever the hell I just wrote down.

There are two wolves inside me. One that thinks Foolish didn't really mean anything by these codes and the other that KNOWS he's smart enough to do this (AND would absolutely get help from the admins if he didn't)

[missuswalker]

Welcome!!! Could I please request a soulmate au with Kyle and a fem!reader? Maybe one of the ones where they share emotions / sometimes items from their rooms randomly spawn in the other’s / first words said to each other tattooed somewhere or literally anything that would be fun for you to write??? I literally love soulmate aus so I’m gonna gobble up anything u write no matter what. + I loved your Craig fic so much!!!! Thank you <33

thank you so much!! i love this so much, soulmate aus are so silly and giggly 🤭 (using the item spawning one 🤭)

is that mine? || kyle broflovski x fem reader (soulmate au)

My actually useful shit had been disappearing for weeks. I was constantly loosing pens and pencils as well as the book I was reading for school. What had I gotten from my soulmate? Socks. At least I knew my soulmate had big ass feet.

Coming home from school, I didn't expect to have anything new in my room, but I was wrong. A green notebook sat on my desk, the front covered in random brand stickers. I pick it up, sitting on the edge of my bed, deciding to flip through it. It's not like my soulmate would know that I was snooping.

The pages were filled with neat notes. Scanning over them, I realized they were just about the same as my history notes, just with a little more detail. So we have the same history teacher?

I had found out we went to the same school weeks ago, a South Park Cows sweatshirt winding up on top of my dresser, but I had no clue if we were in any of the same classes. As I continued to flip through the pages, I noticed a page with different handwriting accompanying my soulmate's.

It seemed to be a conversation between two people that went from messy to neat writing, drawings of dicks all over the top of the paper. I look more towards the bottom seeing my soulmate's writing with the words, "stop drawing dicks on my paper, kenny"

Kenny? Kenny McCormick? Well, damn. That crosses Kenny off of the list of possible people my soulmate could be. I was only slightly disappointed. Never once did I see my soulmates name anywhere in the stupid notebook. Tossing it to the side, I go to start on my homework that was due yesterday.

"Really?" I groan, noticing my favorite pen missing from its spot on my desk. I don't know why I liked it so much, it was just funny. It had a stupidly big pompom at the end, frilly ribbon around the rest of it. I end up just using a random pencil I found in the bottom of my bookbag, completing about half of my homework, before deciding I deserved a break.

After, like, three hours of going down a conspiracy theory video rabbit hole on youtube, I end up falling asleep, only to be woken up the next morning by my alarm. After snoozing my alarm multiple times, I finally pull myself out of bed, looking through my clothes.

Would I be insane for wearing my soulmate's hoodie? No, I like living in delusion. Pulling the hoodie over my head, I was quick to notice how clean it smelled. It smelled so much like laundry detergent, I was almost convinced it had never been worn.

Noticing I was already running behind, I finish getting dressed, grabbing my bag and rushing out of my house so I could get to school on time. I pull into the parking lot, deciding to just chill for a minute since I was already late.

Eventually, I ended up dragging myself into my math class, sitting down near the back. Pulling out my notebook and a pencil, I begin to doodle, not too invested in the lesson

"Dude, where the fuck did you get that pen," I hear someone whisper, a snicker coming from the same direction. Looking up, I notice a curly redhead holding a pen. My pen. What the hell?

"Is that mine?" I whisper, gaining the boy's attention. "What? No, it's my soulmate's." He replies, glancing at the hoodie I was wearing, his eyes widening. "That's my pen." I say, before looking down at the hoodie myself. "Is this...?" I begin, the boy nodding. "Mine. Yeah, that's mine."

I found myself just staring at him for a moment, before my lips tug upwards. He was cute. He gives me a bashful grin, handing me my pen.

"I would give you the hoodie, but I'm not wearing anything under it." I say, butterflies erupting in my stomach as I hear him laugh. "That's okay. You can keep it. Did you ever realize my name was on the tag?" He asks, causing my face to drop. "No. Damn, I would've found you a lot faster if I'd seen that," I mumble.

There was a silence, until he sighs, brushing his curly bangs out of his eyes. "Are you free after school?" My smile widens at his question, looking down to my shoes. "Yeah, you gonna ask me out?" I joke. "Maybe. You gonna say yes?" "Maybe."

a/n: GUYS I'VE NEVER WRITTEN A SOULMATE AU I'M SO SORRY, HOPING IT'S CUTE 🤞😍

[mandu-17]

Miyeon as your girlfriend

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: hey!! idk if ur taking requests but I found your blog yesterday and have been binge-reading pretty much everything, you're so talented 🥺 so incase your requests are open, can i request miyeon as your girlfriend headcanons?🥰

A/N: so sorry this took so long! since it’s still Miyeon’s birthday here please enjoy this little piece nonetheless🤍

I seriously don’t think there’s even a need to talk about her looks because we all have eyeballs and a brain

Miyeon’s visuals are literally top tier, congratulations for being able to make eye contact with her without having heart palpitations

Really likes skinship with you and is naturally very cuddly, even before dating which actually confused you a lot

Especially likes it when she can lean her body on yours and just let you take her whole weight

Or if you’re laying down on the couch or bed she’ll throw herself all over you almost dramatically

But besides that, let’s focus on her sense of humor cause she’s HILARIOUS

You’ll never be bored with her or not smiling because there’s just something about her presence and personality that melts your insides instantly

You always very openly admire how hardworking she is

This feature of hers is usually the cause of her body being sore and stiff

That's when you come in - her masseur

Your soft hands on Miyeon feel divine, there's nothing more she needs after coming home

Obviously it works both ways

You have a bad day or something made you upset? Miyeon is right by your side

Your own therapist who luckily accepts kisses and hugs as payment

Serious when she needs to be and very mature

Just as much as you’re her biggest fan, she’s also your loyal supporter

In any case she’s there to help, give you advices or simply to listen

Literal heart eyes whenever you’re not looking

So so fun to text with

Sends you meme material selfies a lot

Despite having such a interesting job, Miyeon truly wants to listen about your day and how it made you feel

You can’t miss any details, I’m afraid she wouldn’t forgive you if you did

She’s very subtle with flirting and smooth compliments- it makes your heart burst

Has a cute habit of singing love songs from the radio to you when you’re in the car

You’re on her mind almost all the time, Miyeon never fails to inform you whether or not she’s already coming home or staying longer at work 

Kinda clumsy and often confused about things but you love this surprised look on her face

Terrible at games!

But you secretly loved it, sometimes you’re almost convinced she’s doing this bad on purpose

Spends long hours while doing handcrafted gifts for your birthday or anniversary, such a sweetheart

Couple clothes/phone cases/slippers!! Literally everything bc Miyeon thinks it’s cute

You’re her private photographer by now, half of her instagram pictures were taken by you

Rehearsing her lines from dramas with you, especially the cringey ones that make you two laugh your lungs out

Miyeon's laughter is so contagious, even if you’re mad at her you can’t help but crack a smile at the sound of it

She’s usually soft and gentle but has some episodes when she’s randomly slapping your butt or kissing you roughly

When it comes to jealousy, Miyeon was more jealous of you before you started dating

Now she truly trusts you besides why would you even want to look at anybody else when this goddess is in front of  you

Both of you treat it rather as a joke, your girlfriend would sulk only because you passed Shuhua her favorite bag of chips

She just LIVES for the attention you’re giving her seconds later

This is usually when Shu's already out of the room or occupied by her phone because she can't stand you two

Miyeon has her moments as a princess, likes to be the apple of your eye

When it comes to you being jealous, it also doesn’t really happen

Of course your girl is beautiful and there are many people who’d do anything to be you but Miyeon shows you that it’s only your interest that’s pleasing to her

Your clothes are halfway gone by now btw

There’s nothing Miyeon enjoys more than having your clothes with your smell on her

And if you try to address the issue of your closet apparently emptying itself, one look at these precious, shiny eyes is enough to end the discussion

Don’t worry, Miyeon knows the effect she has on you

She’s already used to it

Summing up, you got the girl with the biggest heart out there

Miyeon’s incredible and as her loved one, you’ll stay happy no matter what

[maochira]

800 follower event: Day 6 (Tabito Karasu x reader)

"Only in the streets of yesterday, I think you can still be heard mocking lovers."

Day 5 (Yukimiya x reader) - event list

Tags: gn!reader x Karasu, best friends to lovers, use of a few swear words, the event is over tomorrow already??

You and Karasu used to be part of a bigger friend group, but slowly all your other friends drifted apart from you after getting into serious relationships until at some point, only the two of you were left. Because of that, you and Karasu used to spend a lot of time mocking them for falling so deeply in love with someone. To you, it always seemed ridiculous and childish. Because who needs love when you can have a friendship as great as this? Who would need some sappy lovey-dovey shit when you have the time of your life with your best friend?

Mocking the friends who found more joy in their romantic relationships rather than in your friend group turned into mocking any couple you saw anywhere, no matter if you walked past one or if a character in a movie you watched together fell in love with someone - the jokes you made were seemingly endless.

But at some point, you started craving the things you and Karasu were making fun of all the time. It wasn't necessarily the super romantic stuff, but mostly you craved being loved like this by someone. That someone happened to be Karasu in your case.

For months, it was a struggle for you to genuinely recognize these feelings and then you had the struggle of talking to Karasu about it. There was always this fear in the back of your head about destroying your friendship or him just laughing at you as soon as you'd confess your feelings to him. That's why you decided to keep silent and wait for the day when your romantic feelings would fade.

But when Karasu's jokes kept getting harsher and harsher, they only ended up hurting your feelings until you couldn't keep it in anymore. "Stop making fun of love when I feel like this about you!" Was what you yelled so he'd stop joking about the couple you just walked by. It was on impulse without much thought, so you regretted it the moment the last word left your mouth. Karasu was completely caught off guard because he would have never expected a confession in a moment like this, but even less would he have expected a confession from you.

After that, everything between you and Karasu was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. You were afraid of destroying the friendship and Karasu was unsure if he wanted to be in a romantic relationship with you. For days, you didn't talk to each other and you were almost certain everything was over.

But while Karasu spent more time on his own instead of hanging out at your place like he usually did almost every day, he realized how he liked you in the same way. His jokes becoming harsher was more of a coping mechanism because he never expected you to like him in this way. He actually always thought you'd fall for someone else one day and leave him behind like all our other friends did. Maybe he always tried to use his jokes as a way to prevent you from falling in love with anyone. But despite that, you obviously ended up falling for each other.

Karasu felt bad for the way he ended up hurting you with his jokes, so he wanted to make it up to you. One day, he randomly showed up in front of your house and instead of ringing the doorbell like any other normal person would do, he kept throwing something at your window. You didn't properly recognize what it was until you looked outside to see him with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. As soon as you opened the window, he threw the item again and you almost didn't catch it. It was a cute crow plushie. When you looked back outside, Karasu confessed his love to you, and he yelled it so loud you were sure half of your neighbourhood heard it. But that's exactly what he wanted: Everyone should know how much he loves you.

And that's pretty much how you started dating. The beginning was a bit cliche and a bit out of character for the two of you because it was just too cute, considering the way you usually acted around each other. But you quickly fell back into that, just the romantic love got added on top. You and Karasu are still best friends, but you're partners as well - and you know you'd never leave the other for anyone else.

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 6 ⤍ teamwork

"so kazuha what game did you want to play?" you asked.

"i found this 2 player game yesterday, it looked fun so i really wanted to try it"

"yeah i'm down. just send me the link"

"so i don't know much about this game. i think you just roll around trying to get a carrot?" kazuha said once the game started.

you two rolled around until you made it to the portal and went in, "i got sucked"

"eh?"

"the portal sucked me in"

you both went to the next level still rolling around not knowing any of the other key binds until kazuha randomly jumped.

"how'd you jump?" as you tried to figure it out kazuha jumped over you and you clicked the kick button, kicking her into a hole and making her die.

"y/n!" kazuha exclaimed.

as you two were finally getting the hang of the game a new difficulty came up, spikes. "you'll jump and i'll kick you over it" kazuha devised a plan.

as you two were spinning you accidentally kicked her directly into the spikes.

"i'm so sorry" you apologized while laughing.

once you two made it back to that point you sat as to be a stool and she jumped over you directly into the spikes.

"now that was your fault" you said.

once you got two got over the spikes there was another difficulty, grabbing the carrot.

"grab the carrot and i'll help you when you get to the other side" kazuha jumped on the spring bouncing to the other side.

"you're the npc side character on games that is always there but never helps me kill anybody" you said.

"i am helping. i'm making sure you don't fall onto the spikes" kazuha replied.

you tried to grab the carrot and accidentally touched the spring making you fly up to the other side.

"y/n you forgot the carrot" kazuha laughed.

"you try and grab it. this shits hard"

"it looks easy"

"easy my ass" you mumbled.

as you tried to go back for it you accidentally fell onto the spikes. "ahh shit"

you grabbed the carrot and the spring made you fly up but not much. you made it to where kazuha was waiting and almost fell into the hole. "kazuha! help!" she grabbed onto your character flipping you over.

you two began to flip to the end but before you made it you saw a sign indicating there was a hole coming up, "there's another dead zone" you told kazuha.

"it's probably a trick" she said before going right into it, "ahh!"

"really?" you laughed.

"it really did seem like a prank" kazuha said.

once you got back to that point flipped some more when kazuha accidentally dropped the carrot, "carrot! my baby!"

the both of you were trying to grab the carrot and as your character ended up behind hers you sensed something bad about to happen. "please don't kick me" you said right before it happened.

you flew almost to the beginning as kazuha busted out laughing, "kazuha what the fuck"

she was still laughing as she began to talk, "just get back i have the carrot"

"this is all your fault"

when you made it back you two proceeded to finish the level.

"grab me" kazuha told you.

"yeah i'm doing it, yep grabbing you, i'm gonna grab you" you kept repeating as you failed to do so.

when you finally did you both flew up because you both kicked making enough momentum, "we're literally flying"

"kick! kazuha! kick! kick! kick!" you yelled out as you saw the portal.

"stop kicking! no kick! stop! kazuha!" you yelled as you two flew over to the portal.

"you're throwing for content!" you finally concluded.

"we're not even streaming" she laughed.

"that's why it's even worse, you're just throwing to make us miserable"

kazuha only laughed as you malded, taking the chance while you were down she kicked you in the face multiple times, "how you like that?" even when you flew off the screen she kept going once the round restarted since you weren't moving, "this is payback for earlier"

you stared at the screen in complete disbelief at the japanese woman you met a couple of hours ago.

"if i knew you were like this i would've never called you pretty"

you two played a couple more rounds before stopping to talk about random stuff.

"i didn't even realize it was already 3" you said, "time flew by so fast"

"kazuha i enjoyed tonight with you, we should do it again sometime" you told the japanese girl.

"if you ever feel lonely or just wanna talk" kazuha spoke, "you can call or text me whenever"

"really?"

"yeah even if you just wanna sit in silence, i'll answer" kazuha told you.

"damn you really know how to make my heart beat fast" you chuckled.

"i just want you to be comfortable around me" she said softly.

"kazuha stop i'll actually have a heart attack at this rate" you said as you held your hand over your heart.

she just laughed in response, "please don't die on me. we still have a video to film"

"so you really are all about the content. i'm glad we actually weren't streaming i can't even imagine how hard you would've thrown if we were"

"i actually was trying, there were just some moments where i thought it would be really funny to kick you"

"messed up" you shook your head.

"but the game was fun though. even though i think i lost some years of my life over it"

"i screamed so much tonight, i think my voice will be raspy tomorrow" you said.

"the members kept texting the group chat telling me to shut up while we were playing" kazuha told you.

"that's why i have noise-canceling pads on my walls. nobody can complain" you said.

"oh that could be multi-purposeful" she mumbled.

"heh?" you were caught off guard by what she said.

"nothing. guess i'll see you to film the video in a couple of days. bye y/n!" kazuha quickly said her goodbyes.

"bye bye kazuha" you chuckled as you hung up the call with a smile on your face.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!

[starfishlikestoread]

@mouseinamushroomhouse you asked me for a Simon Illyan playlist nearly a year ago, and I'm proud to report it is finally done! I hope you and anyone else who listens to it enjoys!! :)

(shoutout to @cookie-nom-nom for suggesting the song Time Machine and @trelldraws for the McCartney and National recs, as well as putting up with me randomly sending various songs and helping figure out which ones fit and didn't. More musings about the process & specifics under the cut!)

With this playlist I really focused on keeping the length down, since I wanted every song to count and ideally keep the whole thing around an hour in length. This resulted in a lot of songs that kind-of-but-not-really fit Simon having to get cut, which was painful but made the fanmix better in the end, and part of the reason why this whole thing took so long, hah. I did however save them all in a separate playlist, so if after listening to the main one y'all want to see what didn't make the cut, feel free to listen here (do know it's not in anything resembling order, though).

With that said, it was a conscious decision to devote 3 whole songs to the chip breakdown, because I feel like while objectively it didn't take up 18% of his life, subjectively in the moment I think it probably felt that way for him.

The first and last songs really serve as bookends to the playlist for me. With the first not even fully a song, rather a spoken word 3rd POV narrative about a robot and last one literally named 'Simon', it felt right thematically about how he sees himself. I'm not sure if we get any explicit musings about the chip from him in that light in canon, but Tej's line about his "super-humanity ... or super-inhumanity" stood out to me in that regard. Especially since it's all but said that he didn't have much of a say in getting it installed in the first place, did he ever feel like the robot people considered him to be? And how did that change?

At the same time, there's so much more to Simon than just his chip, and I hope that shows through the songs I picked as well (if you look at the dates added, you can see I only found 'Until It Kills' yesterday, and that finally completed the playlist for me). I wish I'd found a song that managed to convey him & Miles as a team specifically, but that proved surprisingly difficult as so many songs of that nature seem to be written with a direct parent-child relationship in mind. Still, I'll add it if I ever find it.

ALSO, so damn hard to find songs with spy-related lyrics, I've used so many different search terms and engines and still nearly every result is instrumental music or about a specific incident. I think I have enough in here that it works, and I'm sure those songs exist somewhere, but the internet in all its glory did not choose to reveal them to me (if you know any I'd love to have a listen, I probably won't be adding them to this playlist however as I really just want to be done with this mini-project asdfghjkl).

Edit: aa I forgot to say the one specific thing I wanted to, which is how the line "play dirty" in the song with the same name for me really links back to Galeni's line in Memory: "Damn but Illyan fights dirty when he fights" <3 that's my guy,,

And as said in the description of the playlist, first few songs are very much inspired by the fic Aral Vorkosigan's Dog by Philomytha (since it might as well be canon for me).

And finally, for fun, my top 5 favourite lines that just feel so Simon Illyan to me out of every song in the playlist:

"But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home / Sitting all alone inside your head" - Through Glass by Stone Sour "With the hands of time around my neck" - Hourglass by Motionless In White "Nano-electrodes pulse the thrum / One note to beat my heart, beat my heart, like a drum" - Yes I Know by The Pack a.d. "I testify if I die in my sleep" - Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea by Fall Out Boy "Keep them safe inside your home / If it kills you" - Until It Kills by Midtown

If you've read this far, thank you, and do let me know what you think of the playlist and if there are any songs/lines that stood out to you, I'd love to know <3

[creep1ngdeath]

Hiii can I request a Steve Harrington x male reader where the reader is the new kid at school and is kinda a rebel but in a fun way, (personality wise the reader is fun-loving, witty and a bit of a rebel), and Steve sorta crushes on him because he thinks he’s the first exciting to happen at Hawkins High. The reader actually starts crushing him back hard and becomes best friends w/ Robin. Maybe they get together at the end, this could take place around season 3

Hawkin’s New Boy - Steve Harrington x Male!Reader

Thank you for your request! Honestly I wish I could have ended this a bit better, hope you enjoy it though! (Also it isn’t proof read so I apologize for any mistakes)

Ciswomen/fem aligned DNI, this isn’t for you!

Word count: 2.8k

You walked down the hall trying to look for your next class. Luckily the hallway was almost completely empty due to the fact that you had gotten completely lost in the new school, but at the same time it would make randomly walking into your physics class really awkward.

After another minute of roaming the silent halls you finally found your class. You took a deep breath before entering the classroom. ‘This was the last class of the day, just one more time do I have to introduce myself’ you kept repeating in your head as you entered the room. As expected, the room fell silent and all eyes were on you. The teacher greeted you with a smile. “We have a new student joining us today,” she said. You took that as your que to introduce yourself. You stated your name and where you moved from, hoping that unlike last period, this teacher wouldn’t make you stand up in front of the class answering random questions that other students had for the next five minutes.

The teacher grabbed a packet of paper from her desk and handed it to you. “You can go sit next to Robin Buckley,” she said. You scanned the classroom for an open seat but unfortunately you found more than one seat so you weren’t quite sure where to sit. “Oh!” the teacher gasped, realizing her mistake. “Robin, can you please raise your hand?” she asked.

You saw a girl with decently short hair raise her hand. You walked over to the open desk that was just to the left of her and took a seat. “Great! Now we can continue,” the teacher said. She took a quick glance at her lesson plans before continuing with the rest of class.

You grabbed your new papers and shoved it all into your backpack as the bell rang. “Hey,” you heard someone say. You didn’t look up, assuming someone was trying to get someone else’s attention. However you were proven wrong when you heard your name being called. You looked up to see Robin staring down at you. “That’s your name right? You’re giving me a weird look,” She questioned. “Yeah, that’s my name. Why?” you asked, you couldn’t think of a reason for her to try to talk to you. “I was told that you’re going to be my new lab partner for the rest of the school year. I just wanted you to know so you were confused for our lab next week,” she said. You gave her a small smile, appreciating her kindness, “Oh okay, thanks for letting me know,” you replied as you grabbed your backpack from off of the floor and swung it over your shoulder. Robin nodded before exiting the classroom, the two of you parted ways.

The next day of school went a lot more smoothly. Even though you were still pretty lost in your class material, you were able to at least find your classes on time for the most part. However then came lunch where you felt completely lost again. You scanned the room for Robin, the only person who actually talked to you yesterday, however after being shoved and being told to move a few times by some other kids since you were standing in the middle of the cafeteria, you just decided to sit down at a random table.

The table seemed empty enough so you hoped that no one would really care that you were sitting there. Even if they did care, it was their problem, not yours. You reached into your bag and grabbed your Walkman and a random mixtape and put your headphones over your ears.

“I said, what the hell are you doing here!?” someone shouted from behind you. You took off your headphones quickly to see a jock towering over you. “What?” you questioned. “This is my seat,” he said in a stern voice. You only laughed, “and what is your name?” you asked. “Billy Hargrove.” You scanned up and down the lunch table to see more white jocks sitting at the table looking a little pissed off. “Yeah… I don’t really see your name anywhere on this table sweetheart,” you said in a lighthearted tone. You snickered as you saw Billy’s face turn bright red in either embarrassment or anger. However you took that as a sign to collect your stuff quickly and run away.

“This is not over, you hear me you little shit?!” Billy yelled, chasing you down the hallway. Even though you didn’t know the hallways very well you just figured that as long as you kept taking random turns you’d be fine. “I can’t believe this school let a queer in.” you heard Billy grumble behind you. “What if I am actually gay, what are you gonna do about it?” you asked. Starting rumors about you being gay in a small town in Indiana definitely wasn’t the best idea, however Billy’s disgusted look on his face made it pretty worth it. You laughed as you continued to run, however you were losing speed as you were getting tired and Billy was catching up to you. Now slightly panicked, you tried to run faster but your lungs and legs were betraying you. Soon enough you were pretty sure you could walk at a faster speed then you were running. Billy quickly ran towards you, finally catching up. He grabbed both your shoulders and slammed you into the lockers. “Are we going to make out?” you teased. Billy gave you a glare that seemed to have a murderous look to it.

“Hargove!” Both you and Billy freeze to see your gym teacher standing down the hall. “What the hell son, let him go.” The teacher said sternly. After scowling, Billy took his hands off of your shoulders and stepped away from you. “Detention for both of you!” the teacher yelled. “Sir- he was trying to harm me, I was just trying to not get hurt,” you said innocently like you hadn’t just provoked Billy on purpose. The PE teacher took a moment to think. “You’ll be excused. But this is the last time I’m ever going to see you running down these halls. If you’re being threatened you need to go get an adult,” the teacher said sternly. He still looked disappointed. “Mr. Hargrove, follow me.” the PE teacher said, turning around and walking off, expecting the teenager to follow him. Billy gave one last glance at you and you happily flipped him off before walking in the opposite direction to the lunch room.

As you entered the big cafeteria your eyes immediately landed on Robin. You were quite relieved that you didn’t have to go and deal with someone else being pissed because you were sitting at their table. Robin instantly made room for you once she saw you walking over to her. “Guys, this is my new friend. He just moved here,” Robin introduced you to her other band friends. You greeted them with a smile and then talked with them for the rest of lunch. You guys all got along well which was a relief.

“Robin, who the hell was the guy who Hargrove was chasing yesterday?” Steve asked. His co-worker gave him your name. “Oh he’s also in my physics class,” she replied. Robin was cleaning ice cream scoopers while Steve was unflipping chairs that were stacked on top of the tables from closing last night. Scoops hadn’t opened quite yet. It was still decently early in the morning and the manager said that they shouldn’t open until 11 when people actually want ice cream. “He’s an interesting guy,” Steve huffed out. “Yeah I guess you could say that. I mean how many people do you know that would tease Billy Hargrove?” Robin asked. Steve couldn’t think of anyone else besides you. He watched you as you stood up for yourself, even though it was for something really simple, he found it fascinating how you kept teasing Billy.

It’s been a few hours since the parlor opened but Steve just couldn’t get you off of his mind. The way that you just didn’t care made you so interesting. He lived with his parent’s high expectations all his life, and then when he became the King of Hawkins High it felt like everyone was constantly watching him. However even when everyone else was watching you, it was like you could still be yourself. It didn’t seem to matter to you what people thought, you just did what you wanted to do. Steve admired that.

“Is this bell just decoration?” someone asked. Steve jumped at the voice. He completely forgot he was still at work. “I’m sorry sir what-” Steve’s face reddened when he saw it was you at the counter. He felt embarrassed like you had known that he’s been thinking of you all day. “Can I get you…” he finally continued. You chuckled, “Whatever you recommend,” you told him.

After that day you had gotten closer with Robin and would come to Scoops more often. When the teen’s manager wasn’t there watching them (which was almost never anyways) you’d sit behind the counter and talk to Robin while she worked. When Robin was on break the two of you would go explore the mall. The place was huge and was always packed, but you could understand why.

Robin called your name to grab your attention. “I’m going home now, Steve is gonna be staying here for the rest of the night. I have a huge test to study for” she explained as she was putting on her bike helmet. “Sounds good Rob, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” you told her as she walked out of Scoops.

“Well looks like it’s just me and you pretty boy,” you told Steve. You chuckled when you saw his face flush a bright pink color. Steve just stayed silent which made you worried that you had just made him uncomfortable. It’s not that Steve was uncomfortable, however it didn’t help his growing crush on you. As much as Steve would like to say that you were actually flirting with him, he just figured it was something you just did to make anyone embarrassed as you called Billy Hargrove several pet names anytime you saw him. He remembered the first time he ever saw you, it was in the cafeteria when you were running away from Billy. He couldn’t believe that several months have passed since then.

“Did I make you uncomfortable, Steve?” You asked genuinely due to his silence. “No, no it’s not that.” Steve replied. He wasn’t looking at you. Instead he was cleaning off counters to keep himself busy. “Do you… want to talk about it?” You asked Steve. Steve shook her head “No I’m good,” he simply replied,

The two of you could both feel the awkward tension. “Y’know, we’re closing soon and I gotta clean up. You should get going…” Steve said quietly but you were still able to hear it. “Yeah…” you replied in the same hushed voice. You looked at Steve but his back was still turned to face you. His body looked all tense, you couldn’t tell if he was annoyed, upset, or uncomfortable. But you figure it was one of those. “I’ll see you at school…” you said slowly while standing up from your seat. “Yeah. Sounds good.” Steve simply replied in one breath. He moved so his back was still facing you as you got up and left.

Steve couldn’t risk you seeing his bright red face. He felt terrible for making it extremely awkward. He didn’t know if you were genuinely flirting with him, if you were then he wanted to return those feelings. However he still recognized that you call Billy strange names like “love, babe, or even baby girl” if you’re really looking for a fight. Taking the safe route Steve decided to not flirt back with you in any way even though he wished he could. It was most likely just your personality he kept telling himself.

Steve let out a long sigh after you left. He liked you. He knew that. He liked you as much as he liked Nancy. Maybe even more. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell you. He was tense everytime you were next to him. Your looks, your voice, the way you carry yourself, it was just so different from the way everyone else was. You stood out to him, it made you interesting, it made him fall for you.

“Robin, is it just me or is Steve being weird?” You asked your best friend. The two of you were hanging out at her house over the weekend. You were laying down on her big mattress and she was lying sitting right next to you. “What do you mean? Isn’t he always a dingus?” Robin asked. She definitely could see that sometime was going on. “Well I don’t know, he acts weird. He’s kind of ignoring me. We don’t hang out that much anymore and he always tries to end the conversation when we talk. Maybe I did something wrong?” You said, thinking of all the moments in school when you tried to talk to him he’d just turn you away. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to associate with you at school? But then it wouldn’t make sense for him to ignore you when you, Robin, and him hang out after school.

After a moment of silence Robin gasped. “He might like you!” She said with much enthusiasm. You sprung up from your position, now sitting on the bed. Your eyes were wide, “What!” You exclaimed. “Well he stopped talking about girls. We used to talk about them all the time but now he’s kind of silent,” Robin exclaimed. “Maybe he just moved on? There’s no way it’s because he likes me.” You said. If you were being completely honest you liked Steve, it was a little unfortunate because he had to be one of the straightest men in all of Hawkin’s High besides Billy Hargrove.

“No he probably likes you.” Robin said. “He gets all flustered around you. Just ask him what’s wrong. If he makes a bullshit excuse he definitely likes you,” Robin explained. You disagreed, not wanting to ruin your friendship with Steve.

Robin paused the movie and declared that she was going to the bathroom, you knew what she was doing. It was obvious given the smirk she gave you after she left. Steve however looked like he was about to explode, anxiety ran through his veins.

“Steve is everything alright? You’ve been pretty quiet recently… Did I do anything wrong?” You asked him. Steve’s heart dropped. He didn’t mean to go as far as completely ignoring you, he just didn’t want you to figure out his feelings for you. “Y-yeah I’m fine.” He stuttered.

“No seriously Steve. You’ve been acting really weird recently. It kind of hurts Steve. The way you always turn me down whenever I try to talk to you…” you told him. You weren’t looking at him, instead you were looking down at your hands, fidgeting around.

Steve’s heart broke when he looked at you. You looked upset and hurt. And it pained him even more knowing that it was his fault. “I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong.. it was me just being weird. I didn’t mean to hurt you in any way…” Steve replied, he started to play with his hair to soothe himself. “Yeah but why…” you said, looking for the terrible answer Robin said he’d give you.

The room was silent. “It’s because I like you… a lot… I’m sorry. It’s just that I didn’t want you to find out because I value our friendship and I feel like I’m going to ruin it,” he admitted. He honestly didn’t know what excuse he could make. And seeing the hurt expression on your face made him feel so guilty for purposely pushing you away.

“Steve?” You asked. He turned to you instantly, “yeah?” He replied nervously. “I like you too,” you told him. Steve was about to speak but the two of you jumped when you heard Robin clapping. She was leaning on the door frame. “Yes! I got my two best friends together!” She celebrated. The two of you rolled your eyes.

Steve moved his hand to gently cup your face before he pulled you into a soft kiss. Steve looked at you with loving eyes after the two of you pulled away. Robin joined the couch, sitting on the right side of you so you could sit next to Steve. She gave you a grin before reaching for the remote to continue the movie. Steve put his arm around you and you kissed his cheek before resting your head on his shoulder, enjoying the rest of the movie with him.

[sumerus-little-sprout]

Pinecones and Primroses~ A Cyno x Tighnari fanfic Chapter 2

Cyno was lost in his own world. For what, like the fifth time today? He couldn’t help it. He didn’t exactly have anyone to talk to at the moment, what with his best friend fast asleep. Tighnari slept off, a tiny smile plastered on his face.

As he looked out of the window, tiny rays of sunlight seeping through the clouds as the rain died down and the dewdrops on leaves shimmered in the sunlight, Cyno wondered what his best friend was dreaming about. Could it be about what was waiting for them at the camp? He didn’t know.

Although he hadn’t vividly expressed it, he wasn’t all that excited about camp. Definitely not as much as Tighnari was. He could even go as far as to say that he didn’t want to go to camp. What was the point of it anyway? Why flock off to the wilderness if not to do anything productive? He didn’t know. Perhaps Tighnari wanted to do some research in these particular woods. He had been gushing about the different species of plants and insects in this area after all. 

That among other things. He also said, quote ‘Maybe this would give us both a chance to, y’know, get out more! After all, it can’t be just us forever.’ Frankly, Cyno saw no problem with it just being the two of them. And it wasn’t just the two of them. They also had Collei. Although Tighnari claims she doesn’t count since she’s his sister.

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t the biggest social butterfly. But Tighnari wasn’t either! Which makes his reasoning behind coming here even more absurd. After all, he had attempted to bludger a kid's brains with a baseball bat for bullying Collei. Ah, he recalls the particular incident like it was yesterday. 

Collei had recently been adopted under strange circumstances when she was 7 years old. According to Tighnari, she had randomly shown up on his doorstep, wounded and malnourished, covered in bandages and dark black bruises on her skin. 

She was terrified of everyone and everything, indicating a sort of trauma, yet she never mentions it. Tighnari’s father and Cyrus are the only ones fully aware of what had actually happened to her. Lisa, his 17-year-old (also adopted) sister, only knows part of what happened. 

But like the annoying elder sister she was, she had refused to give them any information. Collei was apprehensive of them at first, avoiding them as much as humanly possible, voice quivering and body shivering whenever she tried to talk to them. 

But she slowly but surely warmed up to them. Tighnari the most. She healed and got better eventually, and was sent to school once she was taught to read and write.

Unfortunately, someone with a pure heart as sensitive as hers was bound to be mocked.

It was math class, and their Professor was droning on about quadratic equations and some other math stuff when a flustered professor suddenly burst into the room.

“Mr. Tighnari?” she called out, adjusting her glasses, and pushing them up her nose. Tighnari looked at her with a puzzled expression and pointed at himself. “You are the elder brother of Collei, is that correct?” She asked, looking at a register she had in hand. His eyes widened in shock and fright. “Why?! Did something happen to her?!”.

The professor simply shrugged and motioned Tighnari to follow her. He got up and nervously followed her out of the classroom. Although he wasn’t called upon, Cyno followed Tighnari. The teacher raised her arched eyebrows but didn’t question his presence.

They made their way to the Principal's office, where Tighnari found a sniveling Collei sitting on one of the chairs there. He immediately rushed to her side and comforted her. “Collei! What happened?! Please don’t cry!” He said, soothing her. She sniffled and wiped her eyes before she spoke, her voice cracking “This kid in my class……made fun… of me.” 

Tighnari’s eyes narrowed in anger. “What?! Why?!”

“He…..he made fun of the way I….read.” She let out a choked sob, rubbing her eyes. Cyno and Tighnari could feel anger pulsating in their veins. How dare anybody hurt her?! Tighnari knew one thing for sure, this guy had to PAY. “WHO.” He asked roughly, his voice dripping with venom. 

As Collei struggled to remember the kid’s name, the principal was talking to someone on the telephone, most probably Tighnari and Collei’s father. “I…think his name is Scaramouche?” Collei said, voice heavy with sadness and doubt. As the Principal chattered away, he paid no heed to Tighnari as he stormed out of the office, about to do god knows what. Cyno skittered after him, for once providing the voice of doubt.

“I can hardly believe I’m the one who’s about to say this, but perhaps we shouldn’t do something this hasty,” Cyno says, desperately trying to convince Tighnari to not do something he might regret later. “This…this SCARAMOUCHE needs to pay Cyno,” Tighnari said in a dangerously shaky low voice, snapping at him and then suddenly dashing off before Cyno could say anything else. Before Cyno could chase after him, he was stopped dead in his tracks by Cyrus.

“What happened!” He exclaimed, his arms full of scattered papers and important documents, his hair frazzled and all over the place. “Collei got bullied by this little punk called Scaramouche,” Cyno grunted “Tighnari wants to exact justice on him.”

Cyrus narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What do you mean ‘exact justice’?.....” Multiple screams suddenly rang out from a nearby classroom. Cyno and Cyrus looked at each other with the same bad feeling in their eyes and rushed into the room. There he was.

Tighnari had a crazy look in his eyes with a giant baseball bat raised above his head with a couple of kids including a professor restraining him from hitting a dark-haired kid, who was crawling across the floor with a terrified look in his eyes. One thing was certain, the kid was definitely not going to mess with Collei ever again.

Despite how terrible the scene was to recall morality-wise, Cyno couldn’t help grinning in amusement and disbelief at reminiscing the shocked and terrified look on Tighnari’s father's face when the school administration had told him that his son was almost expelled for attempting to murder a younger student. Thank the archons he wasn’t, but boy were the professors MAD. Thankfully, because of a new friend Collei had made along the way, Amber he thinks her name was, Collei had learned to stand up for herself. 

The bus they were in suddenly jerked forward, leading Tighnari to stir as he yawned slowly. He sat up straight and rubbed his eyes. Suddenly, he realized he was leaning on Cyno’s shoulder the entire time and blushed in embarrassment. “Did I…..fall asleep?!”. Cyno nodded and smiled lightly “Don’t worry about it. I was just thinking.”.

Tighnari raised his eyebrow in curiosity “Really? About what?”. Cyno pulled a water bottle out of the side of his bag and took a sip of water from it “Remember that time you nearly got expelled?”. Tighnari’s expression immediately darkened, a mix of regret and residual anger crossing his features “Right,” he sighed, reflecting on the particular moment “I wish I had acted more…civilized. He certainly deserved it. But…..I had stooped down to his level in an attempt to teach him a lesson.” He stayed silent for a while, looking grim “Had I really taught him anything? What if I made things worse by intervening, in a violent manner no less.”

“You have come a long way since then,” Cyno reassured, his hand on his friend's shoulder “We were young then. We make mistakes and we learn from them. That’s what life is.” As they stood silent for a moment, Cyno suddenly added “Speaking of life……”

“Oh, Archons no.” Tighnari groaned, folding his ears fully aware of what was coming. Cyno had developed a strange fondness for terrible jokes, just like his adoptive father had, the two occasionally exchanging them. Well, much to Tighnari’s dismay.

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms?” he said, eyes glinting mischievously. 

“I’m not answering that.”

“Because they make up everything!” Cyno answered, letting out a chuckle. “You see, we learned that atoms make up everything in the universe, so….” “Yes, yes. I get it Cyno. Your terrible jokes have proven I have gotten better at anger management. I would have strangled you already if I wasn’t.” Tighnari replied quietly, fuming.

“So you say my jokes have helped you? Perhaps I should be telling you some more of them.” Cyno asked as Tighnari physically cringed at the thought of more oncoming jokes. The two were so deep in conversation that they hardly noticed a boy pop out from the front seat and peeking at the two.

“Pardon me, am I interrupting anything?” He asked, giving a coy smile. Tighnari and Cyno flinched at the sudden interruption. Tighnari smiled at him kindly while Cyno gave him a glare “No, you really aren’t interrupting anything.” Tighnari replied, Cyno ignoring everyone and redirecting his gaze back to the window. 

“That’s good! I wanted to ask if he had more jokes. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I quite liked the one he had told to you.” He said, pointing at Cyno, which caught his attention again as he looked at the boy in surprise “Oh! Pardon me, I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Albedo.” Albedo said, extending a hand out to him. 

Albedo wore a khaki-colored sweatshirt over a plain white shirt with dark navy jeans. His albino hair was tied up in an extremely messy bun and had strangely lifeless teal eyes. Cyno glared at Albedo suspiciously “You..you actually like my jokes?” he narrowed his eyes “Then why weren’t you laughing?” Nobody ever claimed to find his jokes funny. Not even Collei or Cyrus.

His eyes crinkled when he grinned as he rested his chin on his hand. “Well, a joke's ability to induce laughter is a…..separate matter. But I certainly find them fun!” Cyno looked at him strangely and ignored him, glaring at him before taking a book out of his bag and concentrating on that instead. Albedo looked at him with a slightly hurt expression. “....I see.” he turned away, understanding that he wasn’t wanted at the moment.

Tighnari nudged Cyno with his elbow and looked at him puzzled “Didn’t he want to hear more of your jokes? Go on.” 

“I’m good.” He mumbled, gaze fixed to his book. This reaction from his friend had just made Tighnari even more confused. 

“No one EVER wants to hear your jokes. Why won’t you tell them now to someone who genuinely enjoys them?” he insists gently.

“I just don’t. I don’t like the look of him.” Cyno snapped at him, clearly not wanting to interact with Albedo. Tighnari blinked at his eyes in shock, to which Cyno’s expression softened “I’m sorry.” he said, rubbing the back of his neck “I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”

“No, no.” Tighnari said, his hands fidgeting with his tail. “I shouldn’t force you to talk to anyone you don’t want to.”

The two sat in a guilty and awkward silence, avoiding each other's eyes. However, it didn’t last for long as their bus suddenly screeched to a stop. The kids around them immediately unbuckled their seatbelts as they reached the racks above their seats to retrieve their bags and luggage. Tighnari and Cyno got up to do the same when a boy who seemed to be one of their camp counselors opened the bus doors for them.

Everyone rushed to get outside and heaved their baggage along with them. The bus had stopped at a gate that, sure enough, had a sign that read ‘Stellar moments’ above it. On both the sides of the gate, there were tiny flickering lanterns with a soft glow emanating from them. It was already very dark, despite it not being considerably late in the morning. The cascading trees above them blocked out the sunlight, making the environment around them far cooler than it would’ve been in the summer. The grass beneath their feet was soft and wet, making a tiny crunching sound when stepped on. 

The boy who had opened the bus doors for everyone stood in front of everyone and gave them a wide toothy grin. He wore a fitted, long-sleeved button-down shirt in forest green. It had all sorts of tiny details like stars around the cuffs and collar. He also had dark khaki pants, waterproof hiking boots in brown, and a tiny white name tag that read Venti. Venti had a child-like face with teal coloured eyes and medium length braided dark black hair that got a brighter and brighter teal as it went down to its tips.

His smile reached his eyes, making the crowd feel more at ease in this seemingly unfamiliar place. “Good morning everyone! Welcome to summer camp! You can call me Counselor Venti. I hope you all had a nice journey, now if you would all follow me to get assigned to your cabins.” He turned with his back facing the other campers and went into the shadowed canopy in front of them as he motioned everyone to follow him. 

The crowds whispers echoed as everyone trudged behind the counselor. Cyno and Tighnari gave each other pointed looks, before following him themselves.

[beforeiread-studies]

Korean learning - Month 8 update.

Yesterday I was feeling all depressed because I haven't been doing much for my Korean lately, but then I remembered, hey, you live in Korea now, so I'm probably underestimating this last month.

Things I did do

I moved to Korea! While this hasn't meant practicing with natives, I've been exposed to a lot of Korean just by walking down the street or watching YouTube ads or trying to order coffee (I'm terrible at that, kiosks to the rescue).

I decided that if nothing else, I will come out of this semester reading Hangul at a way better speed. So I try to read all the signs I can see when walking or on the bus. You can find some of my attempts here. This has been quite effective. I tried watching a cafe vlog video by Zoe and while I couldn't read fast enough, I at least did not breakdown crying during the attempt. Progress is progress!

I finished reading the Easy Korean Reading series. 8 books, I'm so proud of myself!

I randomly tried listening to a Choi Susu podcast, and my level is finally good enough that I can do so with ease! I'm currently on the 16th episode. This was one of my top goals to reach from months ago, so I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking it out so far. My plan is to watch all the episodes and then go back to the beginning and so on until I'm ready for the Intermediate level podcast.

I had one Italki lesson since moving here. I realized that my schedule is just too busy and flexible to book others so I think I won't have other classes in a while.

But it's not a problem, because I signed up for 2 Korean classes (one is super beginner level, unfortunately, but the other is a perfect lower intermediate)! I also signed up for a language exchange and taking information about another so we'll see how it will go in the next month.

I have met a lot of people who speak Korean as a second language and have been asking them for tips on resources and grammar.

Things I didn't do

I basically didn't keep up with Anki at all, which is one of my biggest regrets. Since I'm so behind, it feels like such a chore every time I open the app and it's always the same old leech cards, so it doesn't feel like I'm progressing at all. But Anki is NECESSARY so my strategy to combat this is: 1, try to do Clozemaster every day first (it's way easier and funner). After that, opening Anki will seem easier. 2. I have set a limit of 15 min on Anki per day. This way I won't feel guilty if I don't spend hours on the thing. My deck is at 1700 cards now and I know around 900 of them.

I dropped from the King Sejong Course. I just forgot I had even enrolled with all the stress of moving to the other side of the world, and when I remembered I decided that I wanted to go out and do fun stuff since I'm in Korea. I might sign up for another course once I'm back in Italy, because the little I attended I really liked.

I haven't found an alternative to the Easy Reading Korean series yet. There is nothing interesting enough on Kindle Unlimited and I did buy a physical book, but it's a bit too difficult and I forgot about it after a couple of days anyway. Maybe I should really give Marry My Husband the webtoon a go.

I did not study on my Korean grammar workbook and actually left it in Italy. I will pick it up again after I'm back at home.

Plans for next month

Ok, all in all I think I did the best that I could.

Find a new resource to read from!!!

Keep up with Anki like I explained in a previous section.

Hopefully the language exchanges will work out.

[blissooya]

[WEVERSE] 240306 슝이🌹 update

I turned on my old camera and coincidentally found this.. 🤣 When do you think this is??? hahaha

👤 : Isn't this the place where you and Chaeyoung went for We Will Channel You??

🐰 : I appoint you as a real Blink.

👤 : Unnie!! What you eat in Paris??

🐰 : Hotpot well..!! kekekekekeke I feel embarrassed

👤 : How is unnie doing with zombies?

🐰 : It's fun🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟 hahahaha

👤 : When is Chu Bubble coming?!!

🐰 : Am I allowed to talk about that here?! 🫧

👤 : When is new vlog coming out?

🐰 : keke Preparing! There's something I can upload before the Paris vlog so I'm organizing that first!!! hahakekeke

👤 : The picture is from when you went with me haha

🐰 : kekekekeke That was so natural, it was funny kekeke

👤 : Huh when was this?

🐰 : You don’t know!!!!!

👤 : Trainee times!!

🐰 : Nope!!!!

👤 : Jisoo I'm practicing Don't Know What To Do, I choose it because it looked easy isn't it crazy??? Jisoo how do you do it, I have muscle pain after practicing for 2 hours...

🐰 : I don't know... You just do it.. You just feel the rhythm in your body and kungjjak kungjjak haha

👤 : Is movie filming done?

🐰 : ing...🤍

👤 : Unnie you rode a rollercoaster? 🙀 You're brave

🐰 : It was broken.. haha

👤 : What seasoning do you like to dip your hotpot into? I like minced garlic.

🐰 : I like cilantro soy sauce.. haha it's delicious

👤 : Unnie upload a lot of pictures on Weibo please!

🐰 : kekeke I was thinking that I should take a lot of pictures now! haha I really don't take any pictures... kekeke I'm just taking pictures of the scenery

👤 : I wish I could hurry and meet Jisoo unnie😭 I miss you ㅠ

🐰 : I also miss you ㅠㅠ BLINKs are the only ones who laugh at my weird jokes ㅠ kekeke

👤 : Today’s tmi?

🐰: I worked out today after a long time!! hh I’m happy!!!🥰

👤 : Did you see episode 2 of Apartment 404?? Jendeukie’s performance is crazy

🐰 : You can never beat Jendeukie through games!! hahaha

👤 : If you get Chu🫧, will you be switching back and forth between here and there?

🐰 : I’m so busy and I don’t really have photos which makes things harder!! So stressful!!!

👤 : Do you still game?

🐰 : I’ve grown distant from gaming these days

👤 : Unnie why did you grow your bangs??

🐰 : It was poking my eyes!(?)

👤 : Jisoo please upload a recent pic of Dalgom!

🐰 : Dalgomie pic!! keke I'll upload it on my story, no but he was so cute after he took a bath yesterday haha

👤 : Jisoo when are you going to turn on live? I miss you! >_<

🐰 : Hahaha I'll turn it on soon because I'm aiming for a niche market/time(?) haha so I can't turn it on all the time kekeke 🧟‍♀️🥹

👤 : I got my first piercing today!

hh I’m leaving now!! I just came to show you the photo I randomly discovered hh Let’s have fun in March!! I’ll try and bring you Happiness Jisoo/Index soon🥰 I’ll try and take photos often hh Miss and love you♥️♥️

🐰 : When I finish filming I'm gonna get a piercing! haha

👤 : I can't wait to see unnies Paris vlog. Paris Fashion Week was so prettyㅠㅜ

🐰 : More than I thought... it won't have it as much..

[fruitless-vain]

So we had to get our snow blower tires replaced yesterday and the place needed an hour to install them so we made it a bit of a fun date day and went to subway (of course 😂) then meandered through a dollar store and just randomly bought small things that made us happy.

Honestly so much fun?? And I learned some new things about her that I didn’t know which is just amazing cause like we’ve been together since 2017 you’d think we’d both know that we have the same damn aesthetic for housewares at this point but I did not know this??? We always prioritize getting what’s cheapest bc Money but apparently we both extremely want very gothic bowls and plates??????? So we bought some $2 Halloween serving trays/ bowl to be our chip bowl and pizza plates. Will they last? Probably not. Will they bring us joy every time we use them? Absolutely.

Then we found the board games section and I absolutely love tactile board games but never buy them bc seriously why is a basic game like $30??? But the dollar store has knockoff versions of the same games for $5??????? I had no idea!!!! So we got two and had so much fun the entire night???????

I unironically got one of those Childs block stacking games, the pieces are shaped like Dinos and you just have to try to balance and stack them which really should have been very simple but because we were both severely sleep deprived our hands were shaking and it. was. A. Challenge.

Very fun day highly recommend

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter six

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn't know.

read other chapters

july 18th, 2018

los angeles, california

orion

—

“Have fun with Em today!” Calum calls as he leaves the apartment.

I’d told him Em and I were going to go thrifting today, but in actuality, we’re going to the oncologist I’ve been referred to. I was at her apartment for a few hours yesterday, fighting over my choice, ultimately ending in her agreeing to accept that my choice is mine to make. I did, however, have to promise her that if things went south quickly, I’d have to tell him.

She promised to support me as much as she could, but she made it incredibly clear that she didn’t agree with what I was doing. She’s coming with me today to get a bone marrow biopsy and talk to the oncologist. I’m grateful to have a friend who’s so concerned about me and my relationship and my ethics. Having someone to keep you in check while still supporting you is rare. I’m grateful for Emelia.

Not too much time passes before she texts me that she’s outside. I head down and feel relieved that Ron isn’t working today. I don’t really feel like being cheery and talking to him right now.

Emelia’s SUV is out front waiting for me and she has her hazards on. I knock on the window before I open the door, and she’s got some music playing. She doesn’t speak to me as she turns off her hazards and turns on her turn signal. She already has the GPS routed to get us to the UCLA hospital, which isn’t far.

She doesn’t a say a word to me the entire drive, but I guess I’m at fault too since I don’t try to say anything either. I just scroll through Instagram, even though there’s nothing new to see since I just did the same thing inside the apartment. Emelia is still upset with me, but I’m grateful that she’s here, despite that.

We get to the hospital and she seems to know exactly where to go without much thought, and I just follow her.

At the desk, the girl working looks up at us and happily asks, “Checking in?” She is oddly happy for working such a morbid job.

“Yes, last name Moss?”

She nods and starts typing and I tell her my birth date. She then hands me a clipboard and a pen and asks me to fill out some paperwork. Em and I leave the desk to go sit and I go on autopilot again, signing my name and adding the date on dozens of lines.

Emelia sits silently beside me, just scrolling Instagram like I just was. After I hand the clipboard back, Em says to me “You should turn off your location” without looking up from her phone. “You share it with Cal, right? You don’t want him to see you’re here.”

She’s right. Usually I’m the only one who checks locations, but just in case he randomly decides to check today, I turn it off. It feels weird for her to be helping me in this choice, but it is nice to know she has my back, fully.

“Orion?” A nurse calls. Em and I stand up and walk to him. He leads us down a hallway and into an exam room. It feels far too bright in here. Bright and sterile.

"Take a seat, I'll be back in a moment with Dr. Harris and we can get started." Then he's gone and it's just me and Emelia.

"I know you're scared, but I'm here, OK?" She practically whispers, and she grabs my hand.

I try to not think about how I wish Calum was here.

It feels like it takes an hour for the nurse to return with the doctor, but it's probably only about five minutes. Dr. Harris looks just like her picture that I found on the UCLA oncology website. She has a warm smile, which, just like the girl at the desk, feels odd considering where we are.

"Good morning, I'm Dr. Harris," she starts, reaching her hand out to me to shake. She also shakes Emelia's hand before she takes a seat on her rolling chair.

"Uh, I'm Orion, and this is my best friend Emelia," I awkwardly tell her.

"It's nice to meet you, although I understand these are unfortunate circumstances." No shit.

"I just want to start this by seeing if you have any questions that I can answer? Of course you are welcome to ask more later, but I just like to give patients the chance to ask before we start throwing information to you or prodding you with the needle for the biopsy." She's still giving me that smile, which truthfully just feels like salt in the wound.

I know I should have questions, but I don't. I just want her to do whatever they're going to do and go home. I'll do what they ask; I'll do chemo or radiation or whatever it is they want. I just want to get it all over with.

"No," I finally croak out. "I don't have any questions." Em squeezes my hand.

"Are you sure?" Em asks, but she's not talking to me, she's talking to Dr. Harris.

Her smile changes, but she still smiles. Now it's a sad, pitying one. "Based on the blood panel, we're sure that it is leukemia. We'd like to do the bone marrow biopsy to get more information on what stage it is, so we can determine the best course of action for your treatment."

I nod. "Let's do the biopsy then."

Dr. Harris gives a curt nod. "All right, would you like me to explain the procedure? Some patients feel more comfortable when they understand what's happening."

"No, I'm fine."

The nurse hands me a medical gown. "Get dressed in this. You can leave your underwear on. We'll go get the tools ready and be back in a few moments."

They leave the room and I strip down, handing my clothes to Emelia so she can fold them for me. I put on the gown and sit back on the paper-covered chair/bed.

"Thank you for being here." I know she's mad at me, but I'm so glad I'm not here alone right now. "I love you."

Em looks like she's about to cry, but she holds it in. "I love you."

We exchange tight-lipped smiles and leave it at that, both of us now just blankly staring into space.

"I think I'm gonna make the boys have a tour-send-off party. Would you want to come to that?" I'd rather think about anything else than having a needle being inserted into my bone in a few minutes, and it's the first thing that comes into my head.

She chuckles. "Of course, I'd love to come. You know I love those weirdos."

I smile, for real. "They are really weird."

Em laughs and nods in agreement. "Maybe we should try to go visit? While they're on tour? Maybe we can go for part of the Europe leg and you can finally show me Madrid like you've been talking about forever."

Under normal circumstances, that's exactly what I'd want to do with her. We could use our fall break or Thanksgiving break, but I'm not even going to take classes. I'll probably be in treatment, and I don't know if I'll be even allowed to go anywhere or if I'll be in a hospital. If I do chemo, will I even have hair left?

The thought of making any plans in the future feels like a bad idea.

What if I'm dead?

I don't say any of these thoughts to Em. I hold it in. She's already doing so much and feeling so many things about all of this; I don't want to plant it in her brain that I'm worried about dying.

"Yeah, maybe."

Then there's a knock at the door and Dr. Harris and the nurse are back in. What's the point of knocking if they don't even wait for you to say it's okay to come in?

They wheel in a cart with some medical instruments on them that I know absolutely nothing about, aside from the very, very large needle. I'm known for passing out when I get blood drawn and when I get shots, and I'm not sure if this will be just another anecdote of me fainting at a doctor's office.

"I should mention, I sometimes faint with... needles." My eyes are stuck right on the massive needle on the tray.

Dr. Harris smiles at me again. "No worries, you'll be laying down, and we can take a breather whenever you need, okay? And, Russell, go ahead and grab some cookies and juice in case she does faint."

I nod gratefully at her. She's very calming, which I suppose she should be, given her chosen career. Russell disappears and reappears with a bottle of apple juice, Oreos, and Chips Ahoy.

"Alright, Orion, if you'll lay down." Russell starts adjusting the chair so it's flat and I can lay down on it. "On your stomach."

I nervously look at Em, and once I'm laying down, she grabs my hand in hers again. She squeezes, hard. I close my eyes, even if that's just making it even easier to focus on what's about to happen.

"We're going to drape a sheet over you and open your gown so we can access your back," Dr. Harris narrates, and I feel the cool air on my back and the weight of a sheet draped over me. "And we're just going to wipe your back with an antiseptic wipe."

I feel a cold, wet cloth on my back.

"Now you'll feel a pinch and some burning. We're just numbing the area."

I try not to wince when I feel the first injection, and then it burns like she said, and then there's another, and another, and then I just feel the pressure of the injections.

"Now we're going to start the biopsy. You're going to feel some pressure, but you shouldn't feel too much pain. Give your friend's hand a good squeeze if you need to."

On cue, Em squeezes my hand, a nice reminder that she's still there.

The pressure she mentioned starts, and then the pain.

"I'm gonna pass out."

__

I wake up in a haze. I don't think too much time has passed, but I feel more pressure on my back.

"Are you back with us, Orion?" Russell's voice calls out.

"Yeah," I huff.

"We're putting some pressure on the wound and it's all bandaged up, and then you can have your juice. Sound good?"

I don't really feel like I have a choice, so I don't say anything. Em's holding my hand still. The scary part, I guess, is over. I feel pretty lame, laying here, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I hear them rustling with paper and ripping things; I assume it's the bandages.

"Here we go, let's get you sitting back up," Russell says, and I feel his hand on my shoulder. He closes my gown again before he helps me flip over and sit up, at the same time as he's adjusting the bed back into a chair. "Just chill there, and here's that juice for you."

I take a sip of the juice, and Dr. Harris is telling Em all about the aftercare for my wound. It's not big. I can't go swimming or submerge it in water, and I can take the bandage off in a few hours. It's not a lot of aftercare, really, and I should take ibuprofen ASAP.

"We'll bring you back in next week to discuss the results of the biopsy and the plan for your treatment. Stay in here as long as you need, and enjoy some cookies. They'll check you out at the front whenever you're ready." Dr. Harris says as she takes off her gloves and tosses them in the trash, while Russell is gathering the bandage packaging. "It was nice to meet you both. Please give me a call if you have any questions in the meantime."

Then they're gone.

"How ya doin', champ?" Em's voice sounds out into the quiet room.

I laugh. "Been better, truthfully."

She laughs too. "Fair. Wanna go get a snack after this? Oh, also, before I forget, I brought a random sweater with me to give you in case Cal asks what you got while thrifting today."

I look at her, surprised. I hadn't even though about that part. "Yeah, let's get a snack."

Emelia and I leave the office, the sun glaring in my eyes and making me wish I had sunglasses. She drives us to In-N-Out, where we get fries and diet Cokes for lunch. Even though I'd be fine to actually go thrifting, I want to go home to rot on the couch.

She and I are feeling somewhat back to normal. I'm sure she's still pissed at me, but the air between us doesn't feel as tense, so I invite her to come up to the apartment to hang out, and she accepts the invitation, so I know we're in a good place now.

We sit on the couch for a few hours, throwing a toy around for Duke a few times when he brings one to us. Em is making popcorn in the kitchen when I hear our door unlock and it swings open to reveal Cal wearing an old t-shirt and gym shorts, a little sweaty and still the most handsome guy I've ever seen.

"Oh, hey Em!" He cheers, wrapping her into a hug.

"Hello, hello," she replies. "You're sweaty."

I walk into the kitchen, consciously trying not to wince when I feel the pain in my back. My ibuprofen has worn off. I grab Cal's shirt and tug him towards me, pulling him into my arms, even though he's sweaty.

"Hi, my love." He throws his arm over me and kisses the top of my head, still facing Emelia but squeezing me as close to him as he can.

"Hi, how was rehearsal?"

"Different day, same shit. I don't know why we need to keep going every day. We could perform tonight and it'd go well."

I frown and Emelia and I exchange glances. "Okay, what's the first line of the second verse in Heartbreak Girl?" I decide to quiz him. If he thinks he's ready, he should be able to recite all of their songs.

"Shut up, I'm not playing this game," he whines, dropping his head down in annoyance.

"You said you were ready!" I counter.

"Emelia, how did you spend all day with her?"

"Hey! I am a delight!"

Cal chuckles, reaching out and grabbing a handful of popcorn from Em, who fakes being offended by it. "You are a delight."

"O mentioned trying to do a tour send-off-party for y'all. You up for it?"

"Hell yeah. Let's do..." he pulls out his phone. "Yeah, let's do Saturday. I'll text the guys."

I grin. I love planning things and hosting. It's also so nice to have everyone together. I love getting to spend time with everyone and I'm excited to be celebrating the boys and their tour. They've worked hard and their fans have been waiting for awhile for them to tour again. It's well anticipated. "Can we do a theme!?"

"Sure, babe, whatever you want."

read next chapter

--

a/n: hi hi hi. guys... i went out last night and fell on the sidewalk and scraped my knees and hand so much i'm v bruised and in pain.

[yuzu-all-the-way]

FaOI 2023 Makuhari Day 2 - Impressions

It's kind of what happens when people already know what's happening during the show - the hype dies down, quite a lot. I woke up at 6 a.m. randomly and found out MORE photos from Day 1 were published. Naturally, I wasted no time and saved them - I compiled some of them in the OP2, EX2 and Finale2 posts. Yuzu truly shines when he's in his element, or rather, on his element aka ice-chan ☺(excuse my poor attempt at a pun)

After saving the photos, there was still more than an hour to go before the second day of Fantasy on Ice 2023 began, so I decided to rest my eyes for a bit. I ended up sleeping through 3/4 of the show, so I missed the reports in real time about the 2nd day's opening. I quickly found the relevant posts and there wasn't really much info about it, but one thing that caught my eye - Yuzu, apparently, is acting very cat-like in the OP. I guess we'll have to wait until the live broadcast tomorrow to fully understand what that means or why he's doing it.

This time, the 4T was cleanly landed followed by a high-kick. With that trademark combination ticked, I can finally rest assured that FaOI has truly started and it's not just a fever dream. You'd have thought the photos are enough to confirm the reality of it all.

Once I caught up with the (not so much) info about the opening, I patiently waited for the second half to conclude and find out the shenanigans Yuzu was up to for his EX and Finale. In the meantime, of course the twitter timeline was losing its mind, still, at all the new photos still popping up from Day 1. By the way, seems like Yuzu did a layback spin yesterday in the Finale, but no one really said anything about it. Do excuse the poor quality, unfortunately, no media has made this public, it's a stock photo from Aflo.

There really can't be FaOI if Yuzu doesn't progressively get more daring by the day. Reports quickly started pouring in with the absolutely very important information that, at the end of IF, his new program, he took of the jacket and the audience lost it. I see taking off the jacket is quickly becoming a FaOI tradition. Apparently, Yuzu knows exactly how to serve and keep it interesting. Patiently waiting for the recorded broadcast on 9th July for this gem.

More about IF: I was too excited yesterday that I forgot to talk a bit about the program itself. Some footage was released on the news of what the program looks like. It reminds me of Ashura-chan, but not too much. It's a fast-paced program, it has two 3Lo jumps, and the most baffling detail: IT STARTS WITH A CAMEL SPIN. There's no program EVER that started with a spin - Yuzu keeps revolutionizing figure skating and that says a lot about his nature as a pro athlete.

The one thing I was truly curious about, though, was the finale wacko combination jumps. From the sound of it, there was no such thing yesterday, so I held out hope that maybe today there'd be something, and it was. A 4T3A (step out) - 3T (or 3Lo, depends on who you want to believe - once again, 9th July will reveal all).

Unpopular opinion, maybe, but I find it a bit weird that Yuzu is not nailing the jumps so early in the tour. I mean, we know last year he did perfectly well in the beginning, but as the tour progressed, he got more tired, so the jumps became less perfect. Anyway, with all that Yuzu has accomplished in the past year (wow, almost a year since he turned pro), a wobbled jump on the first day of FaOI and a small error on a combination jump on the 2nd day (after an intense solo program, might I add) it's perfectly alright.

All that matters is that Yuzu is having fun and he keeps surprising us. He said a while ago he feels like he's running out of ideas, but Fanyus seem to have an abundance of them and maybe, just maybe, Yuzu is taking inspiration from them. For example, Henni147 suggested in her Challenge4Yuzu thread that he should start a program with a spin - he did 😉