#i realized i’ve never properly posted this. so here

[johntorrington]

i cannot succinctly describe what is so funny to me about this shackleton 2002 promotional image but there’s something about shackleton looking like he’s about to give a fast food cashier a piece of his mind and hurley posing gayly combined with the most low effort graphic design i’ve ever seen. it’s beautiful

[sunflower-lilac42]

𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺 ; 𝘭𝘩43 ୨୧

➪ summary: meeting luke was unexpected, but so was him wanting to come to every rehearsal and performance of hers

➪ warnings: reader has crappy parents, parents not showing up to events, lack of eating

➪ word count: 8.0k

➪ file type: fic - reupload

➪ sunny's notes: ahhhhhh the band fic that i will always remember staying up until like two in the morning to write because i was so proud of it. this is projecting 100% but this fic is so near and dear to me that i of course had to post it on my last day of high school band camp. a full circle :)

© sunflower-lilac42 ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

lh43 masterlist || nhl masterlist || new taglist || navigation

Y/n always said she never minded, but Luke knew better. He knew that every time she looked out into those stands and saw the absence of her parents and siblings would always hurt her. She knew that marching band wasn’t the most entertaining thing in the world but the least they could do was be supportive. They sat through hours upon hours of baseball games where their sons wouldn’t even get a chance to go up to bat, they sat through hours and hours of concerts where they couldn’t even hear their daughters sing. But how come when it came to her, they wouldn’t spend even twenty minutes to see her on the field, a time they could actually see her do something?

Though, she told Luke over and over again that it didn’t bother her. She had her friends by her side who made the long Friday nights of football where their team would be getting crushed better, made basketball games where no one cared about whether or not they were there better, and made the excruciating heat better, who made the long bus rides and long days of competitions better. But who else was there to see that? No one, that was until she met Luke.

It was during their freshman year of high school, just as the football season was coming to a close and hockey season had started about two weeks ago. She was walking through the hallways on her way to the band hallway when she bumped into him, he was sweaty from gym, his curls straightening out in the slightest. As soon as she saw him she was slightly star-struck, she wasn’t in the tiniest bit prepared for this to happen, “Hi. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Luke thought she was pretty right off the bat, the way she seemed shy but talked loud, the way she fiddled with the bracelet around her wrist, the way her smile was awkward but genuine, much like his own.

The two stood in silence and then the warning bell rang, signaling that there were now two minutes to get to class. Luke and y/n looked startled by the bell, both of them had spaced out while looking at each other, “Oh, what do you have next?”

She looked up at him, surprised by the question, “Lunch, technically. And you?”

“Oh weird, I have lunch too. How come I’ve never seen you there?”

“I have band right now until the season is over. We go out for a period and a half to work on the show and then we get the last half of next period to eat lunch.”

“You only get 20 minutes to eat lunch?”

She nodded, a smile growing on her face, “Yeah. Um, I should probably go, but it was nice to meet you.”

She ran off, not allowing Luke to properly introduce himself. He was going to call after her but she was gone before he could think about the words to say. He went the rest of the day thinking about the interaction and her, and she did too. She allowed herself to be delusional for once, thinking about what it would feel like to have a boyfriend and for him to show up to her events.

The next day, she found herself rushing to the band hallway, having left her last class late. She was just about there when she heard a voice call, “Hey!”

At first, she didn’t realize it was her that the voice was talking to. She hadn’t remembered the last time someone had actively sought her out. However, once the voice called again she stopped and looked around and saw Luke standing there with a smile on his face, “Hi.”

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“You have?” She looked confused and bewildered at the same time, moving to her locker to get her instrument.

He nods, leaning against the set of lockers next to her, “Yeah. For starters, I was wondering your name and if I could get your-”

He was cut off by a group of students coming up, saying excuse me so they could get to their lockers. She looks at him as her lock opens, handing it to him, “Thank you.”

She grabs her instrument and her shoes before grabbing the lock back and locking her locker. She ushers him to follow her, walking into the band room and throwing her stuff down. Luke talked to her as they walked, explaining how he wondered what her name was and if they could exchange numbers. Once again, she was taken by surprise and then saw her friends enter the room, “Um sure. What do you have next period?”

“Uh study hall.”

“Okay, cool. I’ll meet you in the library then?” She was changing her shoes and saw her friends approaching faster and faster, “See you later.” 

She then pushed him out of the room through the nearest exit. Luke was lost as he was shoved into the hallway, watching her throw her hair into a ponytail as she walked away. He heard her tell her friends that she had forgotten a jacket and that she was going to freeze to death. He decided to wait for her, thinking about giving her the extra hoodie that he brought in case he forgot his own. 

When she came walking out of the band room a few minutes later, he caught her arm and she turned around, “Hi?”

Her friends looked at her in amusement, eyebrows raising. They didn’t say anything, just walked away and left her there on her own, “I heard you say you were cold.”

“Um yeah, I’m fine though, thank you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind giving you this,” he held out the hoodie and she gazed at it with curiosity.

“Really?”

He nodded, encouraging her to take it, “I’ll give it back to you next period.”

He shrugged it off, not too worried about if she did decide to keep it. She walked away, heading outside while putting the hoodie on. She smiled at it being too big, it must’ve been one he got from his brothers or one he got in the wrong size. As she caught up with her friends, she could hear them talking about the boy she had just been talking to, still not knowing his name.

“What is it?”

“That’s Luke Hughes!”

“Who?”

“Luke Hughes?”

“Not ringing any bell here.”

“He’s a really good hockey player, and so are his brothers. Quinn, his oldest, is supposed to be drafted in next year’s draft, he just started college this year. And Jack, he’s a junior right now, everybody is saying he’s supposed to be drafted in two years.”

“And you all know this because?”

“Because the Hughes brothers are hot y/n/n. Actually, hockey men are hot, but three brothers? Come on.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, placing her things down on the turf, “Did he give you his hoodie?”

“Yeah…?” Her friends squealed, “Guys it’s not a big deal. He probably doesn’t like me. Do you remember the last time I dated someone, let alone someone who I liked that liked me back?”

“Yes.” Her friends said in a deadpan voice, “You talk about it all the time.”

“Well, I just think it’s worth mentioning since he thought the Earth was flat! And then the other guy I liked made me cry at homecoming! There is no way in the world that Luke Hughes, who, if he is who you say he is, would like me.”

The three friends eyed each other and then looked at y/n, “We’ll see about that.”

Band was slow that day as it usually was, they went over the one spot in song four that was troubling people the most. If they didn’t want them to struggle, they shouldn’t have given them choreography for eight counts right before a huge change in tempo and the hardest spot in the music. When it was over, she slugged her way back to the school, her legs ached and her arms too from holding up her instrument. 

She put her things away, now walking to the library instead of going to lunch. She had work to do, and a test next period as well. When she got there she spotted Luke right away, he was scrolling on his phone, laughing every once in a while. She walked up to the table he sat at, placing her water bottle down and letting her backpack fall down to the ground with a thud. She plopped down into her chair with a groan and placed her head on her forearms. 

Luke looked up from his phone from the moment the metal of her water bottle touched the table and watched the girl with amusement in his eyes, “Why hello there.”

“Hi.”

“Shouldn’t you be eating lunch?”

She sat up, “‘M not hungry. Plus I have to study for a test next period.

He nodded, shoving his phone into his pocket, “You want help?”

“Sure.” Y/n reached into her backpack and pulled out the green folder, “Bio?”

“The actual fucking death of me.”

Luke helped her study for the next twenty minutes, stopping occasionally just to look at her. The librarian was watching from afar, silently admiring the two. She knew that the two were going to end up together, there was something about the way Luke looked at her even if they had just met the day before. When she announced that there were five minutes left of the period, y/n started packing up and thanked Luke for his help.

“No problem, now I think you still owe me your number.”

“Oh right, give me.” She held out her hand for his phone to which he placed it in her hand. 

She typed her number in and saved her contact name as ‘Y/n’ with a teddy bear emoji, “Why a teddy bear?”

“I don’t know, it was the first emoji I thought of.” Luke shrugged and texted her so she’d have his number too, “Save mine as Lukey with the honey emoji!”

“Honey?”

“Yes?”

“You’re a dork. No but actually why the honey emoji?”

“So that way our contact emojis are Winnie the Pooh,”

“That is the cutest and stupidest thing I have ever heard.” She stood up and immediately felt dizzy. 

She placed a hand on the table and closed her eyes, “Are you okay?”

“Uh yeah, just a little dizzy. I’ll be fine.”

Luke looked at her apprehensively, he knew she wasn’t but he let it go. He walked her to class, neither of them noticing she was still wearing his sweatshirt, and wished her luck on the test. Over the next week and a half, the two texted each other non-stop with random updates on their lives and random conversations. It was now the next Thursday, a day before the last game of the season and everyone was excited as it was the rivalry game.

Luke and y/n sat next to each other outside after school, she had rehearsal later in the evening and Luke had said he wanted to stay with her. Jack had already left and he wasn’t going to leave her there alone. They sat at the picnic table outside of the school, she was working on homework as Luke scrolled on his phone occasionally glancing up at her.

She didn’t eat lunch again today and he wasn’t sure if it was because she wasn’t hungry or because she didn’t want to. When he noticed her eyes dropping he grew more concerned, “You okay?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. Why?”

“I don’t know, you just look like you’re not okay.”

“I should probably eat something, haven’t been able to yet.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t eat breakfast, it makes me sick and lunch well after band and only have twenty minutes to eat, my appetite is practically non-existent.”

“You wanna walk to the store?”

“Sure.”

The two got up and set out to the store, making jokes along the way. She was wearing one of Luke’s sweatshirts, he had given it to her earlier today when he found out she had once again forgotten her own. Luke had only met her a week ago and he was protective of her. There was something about her that just made him want to shield her from everything harmful that could come her way.

Luke offered to pay for her food as they checked out but she declined even after giving minutes of them just standing there and Luke pestering her. An old lady who was checking out next to them looked at them fondly, “You should let him pay, dear. It’s not every day that someone is going to come around begging for you to let them pay.”

Y/n felt butterflies appear in her stomach, looking between the lady and up at Luke. She finally nodded, accepting her fate and letting Luke pay. She thanked him endlessly as they walked back to the school, linking arms with him as she could feel herself getting dizzy again, “So what are you doing this weekend, Hughes?”

“Hockey probably, but I’d have to look. What about you?”

“We got a band competition, it’s kind of like state for us.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

She shrugged, not really wanting to go, “It’s gonna be a long day and my- never mind.”

“No, what is it?”

She shook her head, sitting down and taking the food out of her bag. Luke looked at her confused, saddened by her sudden mood drop. He could tell that she didn’t want to talk about it but he was nosey, and he really wanted to know, “Come on. You can tell me.”

She sighed, “All of my friends’ parents are going and my parents don’t even bother to show up to football games. They only bother to show up for the kids that could do something successful.” 

Luke was foreign to the way she was feeling, well for the most part. He didn’t know what it was like for his parents to not show up for games, sure they couldn’t come to every game but they came to games that they could make it for and the important ones. He understood what it felt like to be overshadowed, however, not that he really was. It was more of a thought rather than an actuality. 

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you feel sorry for me. Don’t, please.”

“I’m not.” She raised an eyebrow but stopped the conversation.

“How are you getting home tonight?”

“My friend is taking me.”

“Let me take you.”

“Luke, you can’t even drive.”

“No I know that but I’ll stay here and then-”

She laughed, interrupting him, “You are not going to stay here for another two and a half hours, Luke.”

“And why not?”

“Because you have to go home, I’m surprised you even offered to stay here with me until rehearsal started.”

“But I want to be.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I just want to be there for you.”

She gave him an awkward smile, shocked once again by his actions and words. She pondered about what to do, she didn’t want him to have to stay later than he already had offered. On the other hand, it felt nice knowing that someone wanted to be there for her, to go to her activities for her even if it was just a practice. 

She carefully eyed him up and down, “Okay, but keep in mind I wasn’t the one who made you stay.”

He smiled and held his hands up in surrender. He followed her as she walked through the school to the band room, stopping at her locker to grab her instrument and other things. He followed her through the band room and out the doors to the football field, looking like a lost puppy. She sat with her friends as they waited for football practice to be over, Luke sitting behind her on his phone.

“So, why is he here?”

“Why is who here?”

Her friends gestured with their heads to the boy who sat a couple of feet behind them, “Him.”

“Oh, I don’t know. He said he wanted to come.”

“Oh my god, y/n! This means you can finally get over-”

“Shut up. He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him, it’s simple. Plus, I haven’t liked… you know who, for a while. I don’t even think I liked him in the first place.”

“Uh huh, sure. You are in delusion, my friend. And you have convinced yourself that neither of you has feelings for each other. No one wants to be at a band rehearsal, not even the people in band want to be here, and Luke Hughes wants to be here? For you?”

“It’s nothing, can we just drop it?”

“Yeah, yeah. So I heard that Sydney and Max were having sex in the practice rooms.”

Y/n spit out her water causing Luke to look up from his phone, slightly chuckling, “You what?”

“So is this what you guys do all the time before practice?”

“Rehearsal. And if by ‘this’ you mean sitting around and talking about the band drama, yes.”

“Am I allowed to be let in on it or is it strictly like ‘band kids’ only.”

One of y/n’s friends looked at him, “Don’t call us band kids. And of course, you can join us. Any friend of our dear y/n is welcome.”

Y/n glared at the girl as she heard Luke moving closer. Luke felt bold as he wrapped an arm around the girl’s waist, watching as her eyes widened. She didn’t say anything, didn’t move, she just sat there slightly terrified. She looked in between her friends who smirked at her in response. Luke sat there smug, waiting for them to start talking, “So. What’s this about who and who having sex in the practice rooms?”

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Luke could honestly say this was the longest he had willingly gone without his phone, including hockey practice. He had sat in the stands the whole time, eyes trained on y/n no matter where she went. If she was backfield, that’s where he would be staring, if she was on the left side of the field, that’s where he would be staring.

He watched as she grew increasingly tired from the multiple reps of just one move they made them do, he honestly thought he could do it himself at this point. He was in awe, really, he never knew how much time and effort the band put in to do a seven-minute show for people who didn’t care about it. Everyone looked exhausted and he wasn’t sure if they were just done with band or just actually tired, or both.

There was one moment during rehearsal when he saw y/n lug herself over to where the band directors were and talk with them. A minute after that he watched as she took a seat on the bench and watched her fellow band members. He was confused and worried, wanting nothing more than to walk over there and ask her what was wrong but he promised her that he wouldn’t interrupt her no matter what.

She was embarrassed, she had felt his eyes on her the whole time. She didn’t know why he wanted to be here, it gave her an unfamiliar feeling in her stomach, one of feeling important for once. Her friends made little nudges and jokes at her for the three hours they were on the field, only shutting up when they were yelled at. When they were talking at the end of rehearsal, she couldn’t help but continue to look over at him, causing her to be startled when she realized she was picked to give the speech today. 

“Hi everyone! Um, good rehearsal tonight, this season has been absolutely amazing and I hope you all feel the same way. I don’t think there’s anything else to say other than tomorrow is game day!” She paused as everyone whooped around her, “And we have our competition on Saturday so let’s make these next few runs of the show our best, and let’s go home because I’m tired.”

They all listened as the band directors gave their final announcements, call time for Friday and Saturday, the itinerary, and whatnot. When it was over, Luke met her at the entrance of the gate and reached out to take something of hers but she shook her head, “I’m good, thank you though.”

He awkwardly pulled his hands back and nodded, walking beside her into the school, “Are you sure your brother is okay with taking me home? I don’t want to inconvenience you guys and Stella said it was okay to take me home.”

He shook his head, “Of course, you can. You’re not inconveniencing anyone. I promise.”

She gave him a genuine smile, “Thank you, Luke.”

“Anytime.”

She put her things away, saying goodbye to her friends before walking out of the school with Luke. They stood at the entrance, Luke trying to spot his brother’s car, and when he did he turned to her, “Just give me one moment.”

She nodded, confusion written on her face as she watched him run over to the car.

“Hey, I thought we were taking your girlfriend home.”

“One, not my girlfriend. And two, can you please not embarrass me or her? She’s really uncomfortable around new people.”

Jack could see the way his younger brother was panicking, “Yeah, sure.”

Luke thanked him and then ran back over to y/n, taking hold of her hand and dragging her to the car. He opened up the back passenger side door and allowed her to climb in, him climbing in after her. She looked between him and the front seat, “I thought you would’ve sat up there.”

“Trust me, I know how awkward it is to ride in the back of someone’s car when you only know one person.”

The car was silent for a minute, y/n trying to think of something to say besides directing Jack to her house. She figured she should probably say thank you to him even though everything else in her was yelling at her not to. She was never the best at making conversation with people, let alone with people she didn’t know.

“Thank you for taking me home, I’m sorry it was such a last-minute thing.”

Jack glanced up at her through the rearview mirror, “No problem, honestly.”

She gave him an awkward smile, nodding and redirecting her gaze to outside the car window. Luke’s hand slowly made its way over to her lap as he took ahold of her hand again. She didn’t move her head, simply just squeezing his hand back as a thank you. 

When they got to her house, she thanked Jack once again before getting out of the car. Luke jumped out and told his brother to wait for him as he went to talk to her, “Hey!”

She stopped in her tracks at the voice and turned around, arms coming to wrap themselves around her as she shivered from the cold, “What’s up?”

“I’m going tomorrow.”

“To where?”

“You’re game.”

Her cheeks reddened at the confession, “It’s not my game.”

He threw his head back and groaned, “You know what I mean.” 

She giggled a little, “Yeah. You don’t have to Luke, I mean you came to our practice which was more than enough for me. You didn’t even have to come for that.”

He took both of her hands this time into his own, “I know but I really want to. Pleaseeeeee.”

“Okay fine. But no complaining again.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

He saluted her as she walked up the steps to her door, making sure she got in okay before even thinking of turning back to the car. On the way home, Jack made digs at his brother for being whipped for the girl he had only known for a little more than a week. When it went quiet for two minutes, Luke mulled over the idea of her competition on Saturday and what she had told him. 

“Do you think Mom and Dad would let me go to y/n’s competition on Saturday?”

“Depends on where it is.” Jack turned onto their street, not even bothering to glance at him until he said where it was. 

“Michigan?!”

“What? It’s not that far.”

“Dude it’s three hours!”

“Okay, but we can see Quinn too.”

Jack eyed him carefully, “You can ask them but don’t expect a yes.”

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

“Can we please go?”

“Luke.” Ellen’s tone was sympathetic but stern as she talked to him, “We can’t just drive three hours, especially on this short notice to a band competition. I mean we haven’t even met this girl, have we?”

“No, but. I figured we could make a little trip out of it! We can see Quinn and you guys can hang out with him while I’m there so that way you don’t have to sit through bands because I know for a fact that you don’t want to. And plus, I know you haven’t met her but she’s super nice, Mom.”

Ellen looked conflicted but Luke’s next words broke her heart and tipped her over the edge, “She has no one going to support her.”

“Fine, we can go. But this is the last time you can ask us for stuff for a while.”

“What?!” 

The three laughed as they heard Jack’s shocked voice echo through the house. 

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Luke sat happily with a few of his friends at the football game, two sweatshirts on due to the cold. The stands were packed with parents, students, and siblings as they cheered on their football team, yelling out random chants at the other team. There was a clashing of colors as some of the rival school’s people made their way over to their side of the stands. On the opposite side of the field, the opposing team’s student section was packed to the brim, almost filling up half of the stands.

He sat on the edge of the student section, right where there was caution tape separating the band and the rest of the student population. He had glanced over there a few times, trying to find y/n but he had no look. Finally, when someone he knew was close enough he yelled out her name, “Stella!”

Stella, one of y/n’s friends turned her head quickly and her eyes immediately landed on Luke, “Hi, Luke. What brings you to this fine occasion?”

“Where’s y/n?”

Stella somewhat grimaced, “Last I heard she wasn’t feeling well and was on her way to the bathroom.”

Luke’s eyes flooded with concern, “Is she okay?”

She merely shrugged and went to say something but one of her friends came up and joined the conversation, “Hey guys!”

The two-eyed Lee who was frankly too happy to be at a high school football game, “Have you seen y/n?”

“Oh yeah! She was getting some water, and said she felt better. I think she was coming up-”

“Hi.”

The three then looked at the girl who stood awkwardly, her hair sweaty in her high ponytail from being in the shako for too long. She looked paler than normal, her eyes looked tired and were accompanied by the dark circles beneath them, “I didn’t actually think you would come.”

He stood up, looking around him before climbing over the caution tape, “Of course I did.” 

Stella and Lee walked off, leaving the two to talk amongst themselves, “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, I just get nervous for games and get extremely drained.”

He nodded, watching as she flipped through her music to find the song they were supposed to be playing the next time they were able to play, “What’s that?”

“It’s my flip folder, it holds all of our stand tunes that we play during timeouts or between quarters or whenever the play stops. How come you're so interested all of a sudden?”

“I was just curious.” He held his hands up in surrender and she laughed, “Such a dork.”

Throughout the game, Luke listened to her play in awe, he could tell her voice was becoming more and more horse as she screamed and cheered. He didn’t realize how much the band actually contributed during games, they definitely did more than the student section did, that was for sure. When they left for halftime, she made Luke hold her things which he didn’t mind doing.

He watched their performance intently, his eyes moving to wherever y/n was standing. He realized that most people had left during halftime, especially during the band’s performance and he couldn’t understand why. The band was pretty good, definitely better than their football team. When they were done, he watched as she somewhat stumbled off the field, not sure if she was tired, excited, or sick.

She was hugging her friend's arm tightly, “I can’t believe that was our last halftime of the year.”

“Hey, we still got three more years of this left.”

“Ugh, I know. Don’t remind me.”

“So how’s your little boyfriend up there?”

Y/n’s eyes widened, “Not my boyfriend!”

“Okay, seriously, y/n/n. When was the last time you saw anybody’s boyfriend or girlfriend or partner that wasn’t in band go to a football game for band, let alone a practice?” She merely shrugged, wanting nothing more than to stop this conversation.

“When you realize I’m right, I’ll be waiting to say ‘I told you so’.”

She groaned, “Stop. Please. I just want to enjoy the friendship, I haven’t had one like this in years.”

“Okay.” 

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

After the game she found Luke standing on the steps to the school. She was shocked, she thought he would’ve already gone home due to the time. She sat down beside him and nudged his shoulder, “Hey.”

Luke looked up quickly, a smile making its way onto his face, “Hi.”

“What are you still doing here?”

“Partially I’m waiting for you but also I have to wait for Jack or my mom.”

She nodded, understanding. She was too tired to care that her head was slowly leaning to one side, ultimately giving up and letting it rest on his shoulder. Luke was shocked by the added pressure on his shoulder but didn’t mind it, truthfully.

He smiled down at her and looked for the car, “How are you getting home?”

She let out a yawn as she tried to answer, “I don’t know.”

Luke looked at her bewildered, “You don’t know?!”

She nodded, still keeping her head on his shoulder, “Yeah.”

“You want us to take you home?”

“No, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Too bad. You’re coming with us.”

This time she didn’t protest and just waited for him to say that whoever was here to pick him up was here. Luke debated on whether or not to tell her that he was going to go tomorrow. He decided to be quiet, formulating a plan on how to surprise her tomorrow. His mom pulled up a few minutes later, watching as he soon lightly shook the girl who was leaning on him awake.

Luke helped y/n to the car, allowing her to get in first like he did the previous night, “Hi Mrs. Hughes. I’m y/n. I’m so sorry about this, I wasn’t planning on your son being so persistent about taking me home.”

At this Ellen chuckled, “Of course he was. It’s no problem, honey.”

Y/n directed Ellen to her house, making small talk with her as a way to keep her awake, “So, Luke tells me you have a competition tomorrow.”

She side-eyed Luke before answering, “Yeah, at the University of Michigan. It’s kind of like state for band I guess.”

Ellen nodded, “Did Luke tell you we are going there too this weekend?”

“No, he did not.”

“Yes, well, his older brother goes there and we figured it would be nice to go visit him.”

“Oh that’s cool, I didn’t know that.”

She pulled into the driveway a few minutes after that and the two said goodbye to one another and Luke, like last night, walked her to the door, “Why didn’t you tell me you were going there?”

“I was going to surprise you actually.”

She looked at him suspiciously, “Well, if you have time, let me know and you should come see us.”

“Are you telling me to come watch you guys?” He said teasingly.

“Just this once.”

“I’ll be there.”

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

At the stadium the next day, y/n had found Luke after they performed and they sat together as they watched the rest of the bands perform and the awards. Despite having just done a 7-minute show in her band uniform, she was cold and her sweatshirt provided the least amount of warmth.

Luckily, Luke had brought an extra sweatshirt and a blanket just for this, knowing how much she got cold. She took it gratefully, wasting no time in throwing it on. Luke asked her questions about certain things in the others’ performances, what songs they were, and what moves they were doing. At one point they got bored and started writing different show names in the programs for each band. 

When awards came around, she was getting increasingly tired, “I have a question.”

“Go for it.”

“Do you wanna meet my family?”

Y/n looked at him with wide eyes, “Meet your what?”

“My family. Well, you’ve already met Jack and my mom but Quinn and my dad you haven’t.”

“Luke…”

“What?”

She held tears in her eyes as she thought over his words. Luke frowned when he noticed the tears, “What’s wrong?”

“Luke, we've only known each other for what? A week and a half at best?”

“Yeah…?”

“I guess, I just don’t understand why you want me to meet them.”

“Because you’re amazing. And like you said, I know I’ve only known you for a week and a half, but you are truly one of the best friends, if not the best friend, I have ever had. You’re talented, smart, funny, and I love spending time with you.”

She looked at him shocked, not knowing what to say. No one had said this to her before, and if they had it wasn’t to this extent. Luke was truly perfect in her opinion, he was nice, charming, funny, cute, supportive, and he was everything she would ever want. However, she knew him liking her was never a possibility, she had to push that to the back of her mind, the furthest away. 

She gave him an awkward smile, unsure of how this conversation was going to continue. She was still taken aback by his previous confession, about wanting to meet his family. She loved her family, she really did, but Luke’s family sounded amazing, like heaven. She hadn’t felt a part of her family in months, maybe she would feel like family with his. That thought seemed to be a bit much, she didn’t think she would fit in with anyone, it was by pure luck that she found Luke. 

When the two had sat in silence for five minutes, Luke gave her a little shove, “Hey. Everything okay?” The desperate want to ask her what was going on in her beautiful mind was bugging him, he wanted to reach out and push the stray hair out of her face, wipe away her tears, and pull her into a death-gripping hug. 

She only nodded, using the sleeve of his her sweatshirt to wipe away the stray tear that had made its way down her face. Luke had felt his face permanently stuck in a worried look when he was around her and this moment wasn’t any different. Just when he was about to say something, the announcer rang out through the speakers, “And with that, it is time for our awards! Thank you to everyone who came out and let’s get this started with class single A!”

She turned to face the field, ignoring Luke’s eyes that she felt glaring at her on the side of her head. She listened to the awards, little to no thoughts running through her head until they got to their division. They went through the typical awards you get at every competition, best drum major, best visual, best general effect, etc., before getting into placement awards.

While she wasn’t expecting them to place in general with all the schools that were there, she was a little heartbroken when they didn’t get third or second. All of them knew that there was no possible way that they could get first, they were hopeful, sure, but realistic even more. So when they announced their high school not only first but as grand champion, everyone from the school was ecstatic. 

Luke immediately brought her into a hug, not even thinking. He was so proud of her, and the rest of them, but mostly her. She grinned when she felt his arms wrap around her, not even bothering to be embarrassed. She hugged him back with the same amount of strength that he gave her. 

They met up with Luke’s family outside the stadium, she was now tired, the day’s events finally catching up with her. Luke had to wrap an arm around her to keep her upright as they walked to the car. Ellen greeted the girl with a smile as she stepped out of the car and opened her arms for a hug. Y/n was taken aback, she had met this woman two days ago and she was now just giving her a hug so easily. 

She hugged her back nonetheless, “How was the competition, sweetheart?”

“It was good. We won grand champions.”

“Oh honey, that’s incredible! I’m sorry we couldn’t make it.”

She shrugged it off, she was used to her family not showing up and she hadn’t even met the whole family properly so why would she think they would, “It’s okay.”

“Well, we’re going out to dinner if you want to come, maybe? I know Luke said that your way back is with the rest of the kids but we are more than happy to take you home ourselves.”

Her eyes widened at the position, “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a-”

“Shush. You’re not a burden, y/n/n.” Luke’s hand squeezed her shoulder as a way of reassuring her.

“Okay then. I guess Luke’s going to kidnap me anyway.”

“Damn right, I am,” Luke mumbled but Ellen still caught it, smacking him on the arm.

Y/n grinned as she watched the interaction, trying to stifle a laugh. Luke rolled his eyes and opened the back door, “Y/n/n you already know Jack but this is my eldest brother Quinn.”

She gave him a small wave, the nerves presenting themselves once again. Quinn waved back, smiling at her, “And this is my dad.”

“Hi, Mr. Hughes.”

Jim turned to her and smiled much like his son, “Hi.”

The two climbed into the car, sitting in the back. Her head immediately found its place on his shoulder, drifting off to the sound of the family softly talking as they drove to wherever they were heading to. Luke smiled down at her, and in that moment, it made Luke realize more than ever that he wanted to be there for her forever.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Throughout their high school years, Luke went to every football game he could manage to go to, every competition he could, every practice he could, even going to the few basketball games she had to perform at. Junior year, he drove himself to her competition at the University of Michigan, being able to drive them back home without having to worry about his parents.

Luke wasn’t the only one who showed up. The Hughes family had taken a liking to her ever since they met her and Ellen and Jim had practically adopted her from the moment they took her home from the competition freshman year. Jack tagged along with Luke to the games when he was still in high school, sometimes Ellen and Jim would show up too. They all went to their graduation not only for Luke but for y/n as well, it’s rumored that they cheered louder for her than for Luke. 

Luke asked her out a month after asking her to homecoming. Everyone said his homecoming and prom proposals were a force to be reckoned with. He always had a way to surprise her and upstage everyone. In sophomore year for homecoming, he got the band to play ‘hey baby’ and he asked her with a poster that said ‘hey baby. I wanna know if you’ll be my date to Hoco.’ Junior year for prom he got a punch of hockey pucks and spelled out ‘Prom?’. 

On the flip side, y/n had made it her mission to support Luke just as much as he supported her. She went to practically every game of his, cheering him on whether or not he got a goal, assist, or just sat on the bench. She wore his sweatshirts at every game, which most of them had belonged to her at that point anyway. Admittedly, there were a few times when Quinn or Jack’s hoodies made their way into the pile because Luke had “accidentally” stolen them from them.

Much like they were there for her, y/n was also there for Jack and Quinn. She was at Quinn’s draft because they had all but begged her to come and the same with Jack. That was the first time she felt part of the family. She would go with them to UMich when they would go see Quinn. She spent the majority of her time with them since that weekend. 

They went to the University of Michigan together, where they both continued to give each other their unwavering support. He went to ‘her’ football games and she went to his hockey games, the ones that she was not performing at, which were her favorites, and Luke’s as well. When Luke realized that she would be playing at his games he had been so excited. Every time he got a goal when she was there with the band, he would point over to her and her friends would fawn over their relationship.

She was there for his draft, sitting right next to him but out of the way so he could celebrate with his brothers. She was there for the playoff games once she had finished school and he was overjoyed by her being there. As much as she wanted to be there for his debut and for his rookie season, Luke made her stay at school, not even so much as allowing her to think about it.

Long distance for them was hard, but they made it work. When they were in Detroit or Columbus, she would drive to see him play. Over winter break, she would fly out to Jersey to spend her time with him. Luke took it harder than she did, to be honest. She was used to being alone in some sort of way, her experiences and feelings with her family had not gone away. But for Luke, it was a different story.

Sure he had his brother there by his side but his best friend, his girlfriend, his world wasn’t there beside him like she had been for the past four years. It was a different dynamic not being able to see her in the stands, not being able to celebrate with her after games or pig out on food at a restaurant after practice, not being able to curl up next to her when they lost or he was in a slump. 

After she graduated, she moved out to Jersey with him, knowing that she would follow him anywhere. Luke was grateful but hesitant at first, not wanting to alter any of her plans. She insisted and said he had done so much for her that this was the least she could do to repay him. Luke asked her to marry him a year later and he incorporated his two favorite proposals of all time.

He gathered a shit ton of pucks to spell out “Will You Marry Me?” on a football field and got a marching band, who in hindsight y/n had no clue how he got in the first place, to play ‘Hey Baby’ as he gave her his speech. She was crying within seconds and Luke knew she would too. Ellen and Jim walked her down the aisle since she was no longer in contact with her own family. 

There were a multitude of things that changed with them, a multitude of fights that they got into, but one thing never changed. The way were each other’s support systems, and they would be forever and ever.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

•❅ 《 𝘉𝘖𝘕𝘜𝘚 𝘚𝘊𝘌𝘕𝘌 》 ❅•

Luke was nervous, it had been creeping up on a year since he met y/n and 11 months since he realized he liked her. They had been flirting like teenagers because they were, but it was a sight to see, to say the least. Everyone had said they acted like a couple and accused the two of liking each other but every time the two brushed off the accusations like they were nothing. 

Now he was sitting with some of her friends and one of the drum majors to explain his plan. This was his only chance to do it, they only had one game before homecoming and it happened to be two weeks before the homecoming game. He would’ve done it earlier but he needed everything to be perfect, plus, y/n hated dress shopping anyway so she would probably just order something from Amazon or pull something out of the back of her closet.

Her friends agreed instantly, claiming they hadn’t seen their friend be so happy and giggly in a long time. So when the time came around, he was dressed in whatever the theme was for the game. He looked a little crazy but that was him, and y/n loved that side of him. His poster included her favorite colors and doodles, the words were as straight as they were going to get.

It was in between the first and second quarter and the drum major had told them they were playing ‘Hey Baby’ and everyone except for y/n was on edge, wanting this to be perfect. When it started, she noticed nothing different, everyone was clapping but when they started singing, she noticed everyone’s tone was happier. 

She felt a nudge to her side and she looked up, noticing Luke now standing on the drum major podium, his poster high above his head, “Y/n! Will you go to homecoming with me?!”

She stared at him with wide eyes, embarrassment flooding her whole body. Everyone looked at her expectantly and cheered when she said yes. When he got down, he made his way over to her, everyone clapping him on the back. 

“You are crazy, Luke Hughes.”

“Crazy for you.” She pushed his head away from her and laughed, “Dork.”

𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗝𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗬 𝗗𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟𝗦 𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 ୨୧

@blakesbearsblog @toasttt11 @chiblackhawks @prettyjoseph @nicole01-23 @auriesphantom @pucks-goals-penalties @dancerbailey3 @quinnylouhughesx43 @petite-potato4 @thehuggybearslover @absolutelyhugh3s @kei943 @dyslecticdutchman

© sunflower-lilac42 ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

[b1mbodoll]

gabi every time u post what ur thinking abt i am condemned with incurable brain rot :( ive alr sent u an ask abt puppy jake so im here to talk abt sungkitty ! who manhandles u to sit between his thighs so he can ‘clean u’ after a long day, hard in his shorts where he’s been practically edging himself grinding against your lower back, licking at your cheeks and neck and everywhere else. he tuts at you and growls against your neck when he realises what a mess you’ve made a mess of ur panties, pins you underneath him and spends what feels like forever licking at the sticky, milky-white mess you’ve left for him. sucks the sodden material of your panties and pockets them, claiming it’s been forever since you got him a new toy, the least you could do is let him keep these. palms at your boobs and asks what he has to do to have you leaking for him there too, mumbles against your clit that he’s gonna breed you til it sticks. sometimes he hates the way jake is always yipping at your heels, and takes it out on u :( hits your toothbrush when you’re brushing your teeth to watch you gag n tear up, glaring at him so cutely it makes him want to push you to your knees and give you something else to gag on. he always messes with the thermostat in your apartment, he’s a kitty, he doesn’t like the cold all that much, but it gives him an excuse to drape himself over you, knead your thighs and pinch your nipples because they’re poking through your shirt :( shoves jake out of your bed at night because he wants to be the one watching when your pretty tits slip out of your shirt, wants to bite at them when you stop stroking behind his ears, but also suck and lick at them when he’s drowsy and wants to be a little affectionate :(( tells it’s so gross that jake is always peeing on you or in you when you fool around to mark you up, scoffs and skulks around the apartment scoffing abt how a pretty, refined kitty like him would never do something so disgusting, but he will ! has you sucking his cock when you feel his grip tighten in your hair, and suddenly he’s tilting his head to the side, frowning that the first thing you tried to do was pull away when you feel his warmth trickling down your sore throat. you let jakey mark you with his piss, but you won’t let him do the same? he accuses you of playing favourites and makes you swallow every last drop, so hard that it’s painful watching the few droplets that escaped around the girth of his cock trickle down over your tits :( (ik my asks are alw soso long gabi so please don’t ever feel any pressure to answer them or write smth in response, i js wanted to share my thoughts + i hope ur resting well i miss seeing u on the tl :( from ur fairy anon !)

pairings: park sunghoon x f! reader

warnings: hybrids + kitty! hoon + puppy! jake mentioned + masturbation + lactation + oral + anal ment + omorashi

💌: my fairy… i dont even know what to reply to this. i fear i’ve gatekept this for long bcs its quite literally perfection.. i think m gna pass out.

mean kitty hoon is such a little pervert n ur so right he would steal your drenched panties :( takes his time dragging his rough tongue over your clothed cunt because he loves how wet n messy you get 😵‍💫 such a nasty lil thing he 100% uses them to jerk off later 😖 or better yet, uses them to tease puppy! jake :x

“hates the way jake is always yipping at your heels” oh… my god. poor jakey he’s just a little himbo :( feel like sunghoon would try to distract the poor mutt with your messy panties n it works 😓 yunie jerks his cock with your panties n completely misses out on fucking you bcs that’s what hoonie wanted :( whines n begs you to let him breed your overstimulated hole bcs your kitty was sooo mean to him!!

god him asking what he’s gotta do to get your tits leaking… im gonna pass out!!!!!! once he realizes knocking you up causes your tits to leak milk, he’s not stopping until you’re bred properly n his cum fills your womb 😵‍💫 hoonie’s so fucking desperate to taste your milk he doesn’t even care whose cum it is that sticks.. when his cock is spent n the poor thing’s shooting blanks he doesn’t stop… he lets jake be the one to fuck you but he talks the puppy through the whole thing. hisses when jake cums too early n pulls harshly on his fluffy ears to get his attention.

when they’re finished, an obscene amount of cum is steadily dripping from your cunt n it makes hoon’s ears lay flat against his head as he glares at your leaking hole. purchases a plug immediately n every time after they’re done with you, he never forgets to slip it inside, not wanting any more to go to waste before you’re knocked up.

im so weak for omo, you’re soooo twisted for this part… gosh just prim n proper kitty hoon that’s disgusted by jake pissing on or inside his owner :( joins you in the shower n helps clean you off because he absolutely Hates that your filthy mutt is able to get away with such depraved asks.. always sneers at him n complains to you that you’re too nice to him n that you jeed to put your foot down every once in a while.

you listen, n ask jake not to do it for at least a little while bcs your kitty doesnt like it 🥺 jake’s whiney but ultimately agrees n sunghoon’s behavior changes. rather than wrinkle his nose n tell you that you smell too much like jake, he becomes more possessive because you smell like you again. curls his tail around you as you deepthroat his cock n when he cums in your mouth you swallow all of it, peering up at him through wet lashes as you noisily suck his tip.

the sight’s too fucking much for hoonie, you look so pretty on your knees for him n he’s dying to ruin you. uses his thumbs to wipe your tears before placing his big hands on the back of your head and forcing you to take him all the way inside your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat n making you squirm n struggle to pull off. warmth floods your mouth n you choke it down, some of his piss dribbling down your chin and tits, making you moan around his cock. hoon’s soooo upset that you even struggled in the first place and pouts his way into fucking your ass full of cum next, somewhere you havent even let jake use yet <3

[calif0rnia-lovers]

growing pains.

rating: 💙 | pairing: rio x his wife | words: 904

an: can't remember who requested this one, but I adore you. here’s another story I never got around to posting

request: rio and his wife again? but this time she's pregnant and can't get comfortable so rio tries to take her mind off it

Rio's eyes open.

He can breathe. Actually, breathe. That’s the problem.

Rio can never breathe—at least not properly—when he’s in bed with you. He’s become accustomed to waking up with you curled against him, most of your weight pressing him into the mattress. As much as he teases you about your inability to sleep without laying on him, Rio secretly loves it.

The absence of your touch is enough for Rio to fight off the tug of sleep already threatening to pull him back under.

His eyes find the clock on the bedside table.

2:15 A.M.

Lifting his head from the pillow, Rio finds you pacing the length of your dark bedroom.

One hand on your forehead, the other on your hip. Eyes closed, you quietly shuffle past the foot of the bed.

“Keep it up, you’ll burn a hole in the floor,” Rio’s chuckle fills the dark room, the sound of his voice causing you to jump.

You both wince as he reaches over, flicking on the bedside lamp.

“Sorry,” you groan. “I didn’t mean to wake you—”

Rio silently dismisses the apology, pushing the comforter back. “You good?”

Instinctively, you nod.

The action would convince many. Throughout your pregnancy, Rio has learned you’re an expert at masking your discomfort. When your friends and family ask how you’re doing, you instantly reply “I’m fine.”

The problem is, you try to do the same with your husband. Five years of marriage and you’ve yet to realize your husband can see right through you. This is why he can’t help but softly smile as your eyes meet his.

“If that’s the case,” Rio sighs. He comes to a stop before you, hands settling on your waist. “Why don’t you come back to bed?”

“Believe me, I tried. But, it seems I’m carrying the next Ronaldo,” you giggle, the exhaustion bringing your forehead to rest against your husband’s chest. “He’s been restless all night.”

“Sorry, mama.”

Soft kisses press against your forehead, over the bridge of your nose, and down to your lips.

Your hands find his chest, gently applying pressure as Rio leaves a final kiss against your lips.

“I’m fine,” you smile softly. “I’m sure he’ll settle down in a bit. Go back to bed.”

Being up this early in the morning was not ideal. Despite your protest, Rio has picked up much of your responsibilities as your third trimester has begun to wind down. Taking Marcus to school is one. You know he only has a few hours of sleep left before he has to take on the task.

Rio eyes drift to the bedroom door. The smile slowly spreading across his face arches your brow.

——————

“You know…I don’t think I’ve ever said this, but yellow looks good on you.”

Your giggle prompts your husband to glance over his shoulder.

Seated at the island of your kitchen, elbows resting against the surface, you watch Rio carefully balance the cooking pan in his left hand. He pushes the oven door shut with his right, pausing to cut it off.

Rio notes the twinkle of your eyes as you give him a once-over.

A large bee adorns his chest, completing the phrase bee happy. The apron he wears matches the yellow, bee-covered, oven mitts protecting his hands from the hot baking pan.

“Every color looks good on me,” Rio chuckles.

“Very true,” you agree, eyes following him as he makes his way around the island. “But, I’m a big fan of this look.”

Rio’s lips meet yours in a brief kiss, his smile growing as you pull away.

The half-eaten cookie you hold soon regains your attention as he slides onto the stool alongside yours.

You’ve lost count of the number of cookies you’ve eaten over the last twenty minutes.

Soft, warm, and chewy, the cookies were loaded with three of your favorite things. Chocolate chips, pecans, and caramel.

Rio had watched you teach Marcus how to make the cookies nearly a dozen times. Usually, while you and his son were busy mixing the dough, Rio was busy stealing chocolate chips and pecans to snack on.

Tonight, it seems the two of you have switched roles. Rio had forced you to remain seated while he focused on preparing the cookies.

“There’s nothing the perfect cookie can’t fix,” you’d once told Marcus after he returned home from a rough day at school.

The family recipe taught to you by your grandmother has become the savior of many stressful situations. And a gift at many celebrations.

They proved to be the perfect distraction from your previous dilemma.

Ignoring the swat of your hand, Rio manages to steal a bite of your cookie, his eyes drifting to the stairs visible from where you sit.

“You better hurry up and eat. Gotta hide the evidence,” he chuckles as you pout.

“There’s plenty of cookies,” you remind him, stealing the cookie out of his hand. “Eat your own.”

Rio shakes his head, his lips pressing a kiss against your shoulder. “I like yours better.”

“I’m eating for two,” you remind him, the smile on your face growing as his eyes roll.

“Funny how that comes out at the most convenient times.”

Primarily when you steal food from his plate. Your eyes drop to the cookie you’d recently stolen from your husband.

“Remember that next time you think about getting me pregnant.”

“Speaking of kids…I’m not taking the blame when Marcus wakes up to find you didn’t share any with him.”

[tiddygame]

i’ve stared at this for so long that i now hate it and think ive lost all concept of how to write so take this and get it out of my google docs

the introduction is rough and the medical depictions (and accuracy/realism) could use some (a lot of) work but whatever! here it is, my vague yet still oddly specific idea of how the face reveal would go in @myriadblvck ’s streamer au:

tw: description of a panic attack? i think?

[this takes place post first irl meet but before they’re officially together]

imagine ghost has a glasgow smile but on one side they carved a little too deep and left some nerve damage. time and surgery helped, after which he could eat unimpeded and talk without a lisp, but there's still some facial nerve damage and/or skin contractures from scarring, specifically around the corner of his mouth.

now, everytime he smiles, be it shit eating grin or a full genuine joy filled smile that not even grumpy mcgrumperson could hold off, it always looks wrong because one corner doesn't raise fully like the other.

everything else is fine, there isn’t any facial paralysis, he just smiles… wrong. especially since only one eye properly squints when he smiles, giving him the look of someone who got stuck mid wink.

if he wants to look “normal” (or as normal as he could get it) he has to manually squint his other eye. still, it always felt weird; you don't realize how much those muscles affect the rest of your face until they're gone.

it's why he learned to always wear the mask.

when his expression is neutral, you don’t really notice it. if you can see his mouth when he talks however, it’s obvious that there’s something wrong. he wouldn’t say he’s necessarily ashamed of the scars and damage itself, but it’s the stares that are the worst. before he started hiding behind it, people would openly gawk or even glare at him as if he was some ne’er-do-well gang member that got what was coming to him.

he still remembers the cosmetic surgeon that had been talking to him about fixing the contractures— the whole appointment was a fucking nightmare. the cuts had healed nicely enough especially considering how bad it could have been; he was lucky to only need a little cosmetic help. the only reason he was there was so he could fucking eat food without struggling to open his mouth.

the doctor spent god knows how long breaking down everything wrong with his face like he was a fucking car mechanic lying about how dirty your filter is. the guy constantly mentioned that while he was under, they could also fix his jawline, do a rhinoplasty, trying to break him down to agree to more work.

he was already fuming my the time the doc brought up how kids would react. asking ghost if he wanted to scare children since “you cant expect the little youngins that are still learning about the world to not get scared by something scary,” and that “even some adults would cringe at the scarring.”

what stuck out most was the condescending smile he had when he said it. as if he was pointing out the obvious and ghost was being stupid and shortsighted by not agreeing.

he declined everything except what was medically necessary. the procedure went fine and after an aggravatingly long recovery period, he could eat solid foods again without issue. but the comments still stuck with him.

…okay, maybe he’s a little ashamed.

scaring kids with your face doesn’t feel good and being reminded of everything you’ve lost when you try to smile can really fuck you up in a way words fail to describe.

so yeah, he hates it. he’s gotten used to the mask, both skull clad balaclava and simple medical mask, being a permanent layer of armor. even now that he’s a bit more comfortable in his own skin it still feels wrong to pull it off.

when he gets close to soap, it still feels like a layer of vulnerability that he’ll never be prepared for.

the first time he let soap see his face, there hadn’t been any grandiose build up, no extravagant planning.

simon had arrived just a few hours earlier. he hated commercial flights with a burning passion but it was always worth it to see johnny.

with soaps twin out of town for the week, he had decided to take leave to spend time with his friend, a friend that he most certainly did NOT have a crush on (a disclaimer roach and gaz heard everytime they started snickering over ghost taking leave.)

johnny had cooked something nice and simple for dinner, saying that simon had spent too long with MREs and deserved real food (ghost only agreed if he was the one washing the dishes, soap had laughed and told him he's not so kind as to let him off the hook for chores).

when they ate, it was always in the living room with johnny taking care to always stay angled away from simon, never trying to catch a glimpse, regardless of how much he wanted to see what was under the mask. the obvious gesture of kindness and respect for his boundaries always left him feeling all weird and fuzzy inside. but, then again, johnny seemed pretty good at triggering that feeling in general.

their finished plates were on the coffee table and johnny was watching whatever dumb movie he had put on. he was pretty sure the man spent more time talking over it and making fun of everything than he did actually watching it (it was simon’s favorite way to watch a movie.)

ghost however, was watching soap. thinking.

in the end, it was an impulsive decision made after a strong three seconds of consideration.

“you uhm— you can look by the way,” ghost stared at the can of soda in his hands, immediately regretting the words.

“what?” soap didn’t fully turn, just shifted slightly to hear him better. a simple gesture to show he was listening without turning to face him. it normally made simon happy to see that johnny was more than willing to accommodate for his boundaries. now though it made him feel stupid for robbing johnny of a normal face to face conversation, a normal human interaction, just over his idiotic insecurities.

“my face, you—,” he felt his heart block his airway and tried clearing his throat before continuing, “you can look if you want,” christ he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. why was he getting so fucked up over this?

“are you sure?” he hadn’t turned yet, but ghost could see his pensive expression from here. this should be nothing. realistically, he knew johnny seeing his scars wouldn’t suddenly make him hate him… right?

“yes.”

but it was more than the fear of hatred, wasn’t it? he was scared that johnny would see him. see more than just the scars, see all of the ugly idiosyncrasies and insecurities laid bare. afraid that johnny would see the truth of how unlovable he was.

jesus he was getting so fucking worked up and dramatic over nothing.

ghost didn’t look up. he made an effort to not focus on his peripheral vision. he heard soap turn, heard the intake of breath. the silence was loud only for a second. then, deafening white noise surrounded him, inescapable, suffocating.

fuck.

he didn’t regret giving permission but god did he regret everything else; the stupid scars, the stupid nerve damage, the stupid way he had managed to fall for someone so fucking good like johnny while he was unequivocally unworthy of his love.

stop being so fucking dramatic. you are not together, never have been and never will be. reality was blatant in front of him but it didn’t stop his heart from foolishly hoping.

he heard soap stand and walk closer. saw from where he was still staring a hole in the can his feet step in front of his. saw johnny’s hands raise. he took a deep breath in, closed his eyes, and with a great deal of effort didn’t flinch when soaps fingers grazed his cheek.

both of his hands came up to cup his face, holding him and ever so slightly tilting his face up, giving him the chance to pull away. he didn’t. he may be a coward but he wasn’t backing down.

ghost eventually opened his eyes to see soap staring at him with wide eyes. he looked away, staring off to some point on the right. he hated not knowing what soap was thinking.

they stayed there for a while before soap broke the silence, muttering, “i fuckin knew you had freckles.”

it was stupid but it shocked a laugh out of ghost. he meant to drop his head, embarrassed that something so dumb made him laugh, but accidentally just pushed himself further into soaps hands making him blush.

he looked up and saw soap staring even harder than before. the chuckle died in his chest.

“do that again.”

ghost just gave him a confused look.

“smile.”

such a simple request, a one word sentence, but it set his face ablaze. his breath caught in his throat, somewhere around where his heart was still trying to choke him.

…he hadn’t thought it was that bad but soaps reaction indicated otherwise. fuck. was his it that awful? he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. this was stupid. he was stupid.

“simon,” of course, one word from johnny and it felt like he could breathe again.

“please?”

fucking goddamn soap and his stupid fucking puppy dog eyes and the way he has ghost wrapped around his fucking finger without even realizing.

ghost smiled. there was no real mirth, more a grimace than anything else. he just wanted to get this over with.

soap was still staring at him, his thumbs tracing his lips, following scars, drawing imaginary lines between freckles… if he wasn't so terrified it might have felt nice.

“Christ,” ghosts heart cracked more, “you weren't lying when you said you were beautiful.”

ghost huffed a laugh and went back to staring off to the right, the fake smile dropping. of course soap would try to lighten the mood with a joke.

his panic fled as quickly as it had consumed him, now just left sitting in soap's living room, face still cradled in caring hands, resigned to his mistakes.

he felt so tired and johnny's hands felt so inviting.

“i wasn't joking,” soap looked…upset? angry? wait— fuck, what’d he do?

ghost stared back at soap, confused and tired. soaps nails felt the grooves of the scar, catching where the skin was raised and lowered.

“you don't have to lie, soap. im a grown man. I'm not fragile. you don't need to coddle me,” ghost said it like it was a joke, hoping soap would laugh along and that this would all just blow over. that tomorrow morning they could forget this ever happened.

“are you calling me a liar?” soap’s brow furrowed. great. instead, he had managed to make everything worse and piss off soap as well.

ghost took in a deep breath, giving himself another shot at calming things down, “no, I'm not. I think you're lying, but you're not a liar,” he stood and stepped to the side, grabbing their dirty plates and walking them to the kitchen sink, “you just don't want to upset me, it's fine. I get it. you're a nice person but you don't have to lie to spare my feelings.”

“I am not fucking lying!” as per usual, all ghost had managed to do was make things worse. there’s a reason he had decided to stick to the battlefield and give up on domesticity.

“well alright then. agree to disagree,” he turned the kitchen tap and started rinsing the dishes, waiting for the water to heat up. just walk away. end it there. let us forget about this stupid blunder and move on. please just leave it. please, please, please—

“no.”

the force behind it damn near made ghost drop the plate he was holding. he managed to set it in the sink carefully and turned to face soap, who was now in the kitchen as well.

“i— I'm not just gonna fucking— simon,” soap took in a deeper breath and went to continue but ghost was faster.

“johnny,” he interrupted, walking forward with his hands up in a gesture of surrender, approaching slowly.

one last chance to not fuck everything up.

“the fact is they're called deformities for a reason. they're not cute. they're not pretty. they're your body’s way of healing what it can and protecting what it can't. it's not meant to look nice, it's just—”

“bullshit they’re not pretty! says fucking who?” the genuine distress in soap’s voice and force behind his words caught him off guard. “simon—”

he huffed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly, pulling slightly at the strands. christ, ghost needs to shut the fuck up. every single time he speaks he just upsets soap more and more.

he needs to retake his hostage negotiations courses. clearly he has forgotten everything about how to diffuse a situation.

johnny takes another second to breathe and collect his thoughts before he speaks.

“simon. I know that— that ‘this’ isn't something that's going to fix itself overnight and I don't expect it to. but, ‘the fact is,’ I think you're pretty.”

ghost opens his mouth to disagree but johnny doesn’t let him.

“no no,” johnny put his hand over simon’s mouth, shocking him into silence. he blinks twice, stupefied.

“i think— no. I know you're pretty. cute even. beautiful is a given but obviously worth mentioning.”

his hand moved to cup simon’s cheek. ghost grabbed his wrist but didn’t stop him, wether it was a warning or encouragement he himself didn’t know.

johnny continued, unperturbed, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right?”

there was a pause and simon realized he wanted an answer.

“johnny-”

“ah ah!” his hand moved back to cover his mouth, grabbing his face and shaking his head back and forth, over accentuating his words, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right? yes or no.”

he stopped shaking him and moved his hand back to simon’s cheek. simon sighed, defeated, “yes. you are right.”

johnny looked smug, “good. and what do you say when i give you a compliment you don’t agree with?”

simon sputtered, “wha— i don't fucking know—”

“nothing! you don’t say anything!” soap looked way too proud of himself and he continued, “or thank you if you feel so inclined.”

“that was a trick question,” simon replied eventually.

johnny thumbed over his scars once more, again tracing them, “sure it was. now go take a shower.”

he patted his cheek twice and walked to the hallway.

“wait,” johnny probably shook the few remaining brain cells out of his head. “this whole conversation ends with you telling me that I stink?”

“yes. rancid,” johnny opened the door to the linen closet. simon was still in the kitchen. the tap was still running.

“no dipshit, do you not remember telling me that commercial planes makes you feel gross?” johnny threw a towel at him, which he caught just in time for johnny to hit him with a bath rag.

ghost had mentioned that… ages ago, he thinks. on facetime with each other, discussing the merits of bathrooms on public transport. he had said that enclosed, crowded spaces like commercial planes or buses made him feel, well, gross. how—or why—did he remember that?

“but… I’m supposed to wash the dishes?” a weak argument against the stubbornness he was faced with but simon had officially lost track of his mind and this conversation.

johnny shot him a weird look as he walked back towards the kitchen sink. simon still hadn’t moved.

“did you think i was being serious earlier?”

“yes???” he felt like he had been given a lobotomy.

johnny decided to take pity on him and explained in a soft voice that felt out of place, “i was being sarcastic. i’m not going to make you wash the dishes, simon.”

“but that was the agreement: you cook and i wash the dishes.”

johnny laughed as if he remembered something funny, “yeah, i lied.”

simon still stood there, trying to figure out if he had a stroke. johnny had been angry, completely pissed at him, but now was letting him off the hook and calling him pretty? what the fuck is happening?

johnny turned him and pushed him towards the hallway. simon could have resisted but his resolve always seems to crumble around johnny mactavish.

“now go shower, you beautiful bastard,” soap grabbed one of the plates out of the sink and started washing it with water that had probably heated ages ago.

ghost walked towards the bathroom, feeling like he was on autopilot, limbs disconnected from his brain. his cheek still felt… odd? weird? tingly?

it felt something from where johnny had grabbed it. ghost thinks… he thinks he likes the feeling, whatever it is.

he needs to sleep.

[milkiematcha]

600 words of jeno jacking off in a bathroom because you’re hot

lee jeno was going to collapse. not from anything he’d done today- he’d barely done more than lounge around and take a few photos to post- but from the photo, you had decided to send him. a mirror picture, with one of his sweaters riding up around your hips and your legs spread just enough to show the wet spot on your sheer panties, your fingers dragging on the bit he wanted to see the most.

you knew exactly what you were doing, of course. even the way the sleeves pulled over your hands and made you look so tiny on his bed, even the plushies just in frame and the way the phone blocked your face. every little thing was a strategy to make him crazy. and that it did.

when jeno called you he wasn’t expecting to sound so fucking desperate, his voice gravelly and deep as he stepped into the stall, the sound of you picking up immediately hidden my his voice. 

“why would you send me that around the guys”

you giggled. you actually fucking giggled at the question. he would have been seeing red if there was any blood left in his brain to properly think with, but instead, he was painfully hard, already tugging at his belt.

“i thought you’d like it.” you murmur, and he can just hear the teasing lilt to your voice. “don’t i look pretty?”

his breath catches in his throat when he finally manages to jerk his pants down, his hand immediately slipping into his boxers. you giggle again when he gasps, not even knowing it’s from the feeling of his thumb brushing over the head of his cock. “you know how you look.”

“tell me anyway.”

he jerks his boxers off too, pulling his lip between his teeth in an attempt to quiet himself, not wanting to give you the satisfaction of knowing how much you affected him. “i’m going to fucking break you-”

“i’ve got you jerking off in a bathroom like a horny teen. i think we know who broke who.”

if he was in the room with you, you would have never said that. not ever, out of fear for your precious ability to walk the next few days. but with him trapped at work, you were totally in control of everything. 

“you’re going to regret that.” his voice is somehow deeper than before, his hand jerking desperately over his cock, but his voice somehow steadier than before. “you’re going to wish you never opened your mouth.”

“you say that, but here i am, and there you are. don’t say things you can’t back up, nono.” 

his head is tilted back, his hand moving faster as he attempts to think of any response to you. but his head was empty other than thoughts of how badly he wanted to choke you on his cock, making any sort of logical thinking completely useless.

the groan that leaves his lips when he cums is marred by a string of expletives and then followed by raspy breaths. on the other side of the phone, you had gone silent, your breath catching in your throat at just how pretty he sounds. 

he speaks, quietly, maybe a minute later, his voice sharp and harsher than you had heard it since the last time he... the last time you had bothered to act up.

“i’ll be home in 20 minutes.”

your voice is shaking when you respond, barely able to keep up your confident teasing façade. “you sound worked up about some-”

the beep rings out before you even finish talking.

and 15 minutes later, when the key turns in the door, you have half a thought of regret. and then you realize that you really don’t value your ability to walk as much as you thought you did.

[thebandghostofficial]

[MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

An important (and overwinded) announcement regarding this blog below the cut.

Hello everyone! This is Rawkin Ghoul/ Tumblr Ghoul/ Tumblrina/ Soda/ etc etc.

First thing’s first: no, this blog is not an official Ghost social media account.

I started this blog in late 2022 when ghost-official started blowing up (I do not believe this one to be real either, and honestly I won’t believe they have a Tumblr until it is linked on their official website) and thought, “wow, I could make a better Ghost blog than that. One that’s way better organized and actually advertises properly for them, and posts regularly!” So I did.

Originally it was meant as just that, a little joke between some friends, and wasn’t meant to really get farther than that. But then I thought, Ghost does have a lot of fans on Tumblr- a lot of exquisitely talented and devoted fans. Maybe I can kinda “roleplay” it for a while, build almost a bit of a portfolio, and then either offer the blog to management or offer to run it for them officially, for fun, if they were interested.

More time passes and more people followed. I thought “xofficial” as a username was a common enough joke/ gimmick that people would realize it wasn’t for real (and in fact, when I first searched the URL, I found that this username was once in use years ago! Sorry, previous owner), especially after posting that April Fools joke post- this was wrong of me to assume. There are a lot of roleplay/ joke “official” Ghost accounts all over the web but I failed to really properly disclaim that I was one of them.

I of course don’t plan to reach out to Ghost anymore and haven’t for some time, for multiple reasons including Tumblr just not being a good website for advertising. But another one is I got pretty loose on here. Tumblr is so different from Twitter and Insta and all that- you guys (and myself! I go here too) don’t want to have someone sell something to you- but you do love interaction and jokes and solving things together.

I think we can all admit it- when Ghost is dormant, the fans can get bored and even agitated, and can start to have a go at eachother. I’m certainly not guiltless there either. I wouldn’t say I’m notorious or even particularly well known in general but I’ve gotten into drama here and there. I figured the blog would be a fun way not just to distract the community, but really engage with it. The blog passed 5k a month or so ago and I started thinking, we could do something really cool with it. Smaller events like fanart contests and zines. But what if we did more? Organizing pre-ritual meetups. Larger community projects like fan-made music videos. ARG. Maybe even a short video game- there are so many incredibly skilled and hard-working Ghost fans and I wanted to try to bring them together because I think our love for Ghost, for whatever reason we love them, screams so loud and everyone deserves recognition (also a reason I started Fanart Friday as a regular thing).

You guys know I do my best to keep up with your tagging and what you’re saying and everything and I’ve seen the people pointing out the blog isn’t real from the beginning- I didn’t want to address it directly at first because I thought if nothing else people enjoyed the mystery.

But, more lately there’s been more and more people who are agitated, disappointed, and even a little scared to hear that this blog is not official.

I want to offer my very sincere apologies to people who I made feel that way. I should have made it obvious sooner- I know so well that there are a lot of very young Ghost fans especially who wouldn’t necessarily surmise that this isn’t real. I’m really sorry to those of you I disappointed.

I will never ask you for money here, or any personal information, or send asks anonymous or otherwise from here or my main personal blog as “Tumblr Ghoul”. I have had one person ask to message me so I messaged them to allow them to do that. If somebody contacts you claiming to be the person running this blog, they are lying. Please block them. My interactions here I aim to keep as public as possible, hence being increasingly liberal with replies and reblogs as the number of people interacting grew.

My only goal with this blog is to advertise for a band that I love and to entertain/ help the fandom when and where I can. I love and appreciate all the fanart and interest in the character of Tumblr Ghoul but I don’t want anybody to feel obligated to me and I especially don’t want to hurt anybody. I started this blog for fun and that how I want it to remain- fun for everyone.

People pointed out when I didn’t post for some time a few months back and it was because I had lost interest in the blog and was going through a rough time- and then one particularly bad day I got on to check it by chance and just seeing your guy’s tags and comments made me feel so much better. I tell people that I found Ghost when I really needed a friend and they fulfilled that for me, but the past few months you guys have done just the same for me. I am so sorry to have betrayed that and made you feel unsafe and lied to in return.

As of posting I do intend to still run the blog as I have been (with a disclaimer added to the bio regarding the legitimacy of this account)- posting about tours, chapters, merch, etc, as well as Fanart Friday. I 100% understand if anybody doesn’t want to be involved in that, so anybody who has tagged me in something and don’t want it on the blog now, I can open messages and you can let me know. I will probably close them again after a week or so if I get a large flood of unrelated messages.

Please do not message me asking me who I am, who knows about the blog, etc. Gaining popularity was never something I wanted from this so I will stay anonymous, for the time being at the very least. A very small number of people know who is behind the blog and to my knowledge only one of them is even on Tumblr and in the fandom.

Thank you for all the support you’ve shown me, Ghost, and eachother. It can be easy to see the bad parts of a community and roll your eyes electing to keep your distance, but since starting this blog I’ve been reminded what good community is even when it’s frustrating sometimes.

Thank you for reading, I won’t hold it against anybody who wants to separate themselves from this blog at this point, and please don’t let my oversight and general dummyness sour your experience with Ghost or its other fans. Enjoy the rest of this tour and whether it’s with or without me, please keep rawking 🤘 Be good to eachother.

Thank you.

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapters 9 + 10 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

Warning(s): watch me bully an old man, aurora slander, osamodas king slander, fat shaming, excessive use of foul language, racism, misogyny, did I mention I loath Aurora?, they’re both bad antagonists your honor, cyberbullying, PURE LOATHING.

I’d like to add a side note here:

I initially planned on reviewing chapters 9 and 10 separately but when I saw that confrontation between Aurora and Amalia, I decided to fuse the two instead. I did NOT want to talk about these specific chapters in their distinct posts because it would’ve sucked to see the conflict between Aurora and Amalia getting cut off in the middle of it.

We’re back.

Let the pummelling begin.

Aurora immediately starts making a fart face as she begins diving down to “attack” Amalia.

Are we impressed? No.

Should we be scared? No.

Should we expect any twist in the fight? No.

As soon as Aurora stupidly declared she wanted to fight, we all knew she was gonna get beat up to shit. Tot and Cathiane were trying very hard not to cringe while showing this. You can trust me, I was there in the room with them when they were thinking about this scene.

This is just very painful but my god was it funny as fuck.

This blue bitch with the witch face really thought she could take on a Mother Nature wielder with her chicken fingers please someone get this moron a brain.

Also what reason could Aurora possibly have to have wanted to beat Amalia to a pulp all these years? She claims she’s dreamed of doing this for so long but based on what reason? The fact that Amalia rejected all of Aurora’s weakass brothers and cousin for marriage? The fact that she would respectfully and calmly try to talk to Aurora even though she never liked her??? Bitch, what was the reason that would have made her so mad you wanted to beat her up????

Even Bonta will hear her scream in pain??? Girl, what the fuck are you babbling about? She clinically does not have a brain, where the fuck did it go? Aurora, YOU KNOW Amalia goes out and travels, right??? You know that her squad is filled with divinities, right??? What part of you thought it was a good idea to say that out loud AND think you had THE ADVANTAGE?????

This bitch wouldn’t survive a day outside of her kingdom, this is so fucking embarrassing. I loath her guts but imagine how embarrassed I’m feeling for her. She’s mentally slow. She doesn’t realize anything that’s coming out of her mouth and doesn’t use whatever’s up in that head of hers to properly think of any situation she’s in. She can’t think for herself, she can’t talk for herself if she wants to claim something, she can’t figure out the level of danger that she’s in, she can’t fight, she can’t lead, she can’t speak politely to servants, she can’t even be honest in a normal situation. I bet she can’t even make a sandwich for me, this hoe is even useless in the kitchen, on god.

And finally. FINALLY.

WE FINALLY GET TO HEAR AMALIA SAY THOSE WORDS.

You have no idea how much I fucking wanted Amalia to beat the living crap out of her and tell her how fucking weak she truly is compared to her. I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since we saw her stupid ass “family” make its entrance in Chapter 1.

YES, TELL THIS CUNT THE SEVERE GAP OF YOUR STRENGTH LEVEL ‼️‼️‼️

TURN THIS BITCH INTO A MCSANDWICH ‼️

Amalia is speaking our thoughts so coherently. Not once did we think Aurora was a menace, let alone even an antagonist. This bitch is just so braindead and one-dimensional that even calling her “self-aware” or “sentient” is odd to say.

With all the shit she’s been doing, Aurora is not even an annoyance, she’s a migraine.

This shot of her just getting the shit get beaten out of her made me so happy, you have no idea.

Like Tot must’ve been WAITING to see this hoe get wrecked too.

@geekgirles once explained how the osamodas’ strength might just be very weak compared to other races and how that weakness reflected itself based on where it was positioned in Oropo's tower. Coqueline can also be considered as a preview of what Aurora and her dad's strength would've looked like in the great wave because even Coqueline STRUGGLED to throw good attacks while fighting Oropo. She was canonically confirmed to be the oldest of the Siblings (even older than Echo) and yet the only thing she could have come up with while fighting Oropo was to use her teeth to try to tear Oropo's new form?? She literally went on all fours and tried to attack him with basic primitive skills. Literally what the heck.

So yeah, Aurora is unsurprisingly getting beat up and thrown around like a rag-doll by Amalia.

Amalia, honey.

Aurora’s not naive, she’s just really slow.

And yet that’s not even what we can describe it either.

Your pride is still here dumbass cuz you don’t look fine at all.

You got thrown so hard you couldn’t even fly, bitch.

Hoe thinks she was fine after the beating AND the throwing and then lies again about it.

Fucking pathetic.

I bet if she got a sword stabbed in her womb, she’d be like “i’M FiNe FaThER, bUt I cAN’t SaY tHe SaMe fOr mY pRiDe.” SHUT YOUR DUMBASS UP-

When Amalia comes up to them, this is where the osamodas king pulls out another weak manipulation tactic by saying this:

Motherfucker, you attempted to kick her out of her kingdom, her home, what the fuck are you talking about? Bitch is clarifying that Aurora’s child is Amalia’s nephew now??? He is so fucking weak, he’d pretend like he never tried kicking her out like a complete stranger just to save his own skin.

This dick dared to throw the “he’s your family” card on her as if he didn’t just encourage Aurora to tell Amalia she doesn’t belong in her fucking kingdom a few hours ago.

Dude thought he ate, this is so embarrassing.

Look at him trying to scramble his way out of this.

Now that he realizes how weak and pathetic he is against A PRINCESS WHO BECAME QUEEN JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, he’s trying to do anything in his power to do what he does best to get out of this alive: lie and manipulate.

Only this predictably fails since Amalia had enough of his and his trophy daughter’s bullshit of constantly being forced to have them around.

And Amalia is absolutely pissed off that they can just say whatever they want so SHE ENUMERATES THE THINGS THAT THEY DID JUST SO SHE CAN BE SURE IT FINALLY DRILLED IN THEIR HEADS.

Even though what she said wasn’t exactly everything they did, she still has a right to point out the main thing they are known for since the necrome war.

But nah, they’re too stupid to actually get it and don’t even bear a second to the idea that their actions could have cost AN ENTIRE FUCKING RACE TO ERASE FROM THE WORLD. Imagine not having a full grasp of the idea that you could have been responsible for an entire race disappearing but also be the reason why the world had suddenly lost about 15% of its population in under a second.

No jackass you’re not leaving.

You’re dying here.

Also what the fuck? He got backed to a corner by a queen newbie and he still has the balls to say that he’ll come back???

Is he trying to see his daughter get her ass kicked again???? Or is he trying to see how long he could last the next time they meet????

How the fuck is he king??? What the hell is that strategy he came up with???? You call that a STRATEGY?????

Now I understand why we never saw him in any of the past seasons before. I understand why his fucking advisor has to be king for him.

Cuz he sucks at his own fucking job.

That guy hired his counsellor to represent him which is why every time the royal council of the world had to reunite, it was always the old white-bearded dude who spoke and was actually present.

This fucking gorilla was so absent from his own duties. So much so, that for an extremely long time, since 2012, we all thought the white-bearded guy representing the osamodas race from Season 2 was actually the real osamodas king. It wouldn’t surprise me if his own people thought his counsellor was their king because not only did WE think that way, but it was also because we learned in Season 4 that this fucking gorilla stayed in caves for long undetermined amounts of time and would hang around with THESE UGLY CRUSTY BATS WE’VE SEEN IN THESE TEN CHAPTERS while he’d be there doing god knows what with them.

This man, actually no that’s not a man. I’d be insulting them if I was insinuating he was one of them.

This fat ugly gorilla not only thinks he can just come back from a fight he already lost without any shame or awareness, but he thought he could handle TWO KINGDOMS AT THE SAME TIME WHEN HE WASN’T EVEN PERSONALLY TAKING CARE OF HIS OWN TO BEGIN WITH.

We don’t even know why he’s been in the caves on his own for so long but it sure as hell couldn’t have been more important than taking care of A FUCKING NATION, YOU FUCKING IDIOTIC CUNT-

I was so ecstatic when I saw that panel cuz not only did that mean I was going to see more prolonged pummelling, but it also means I get to see Aurora act like a total dumbfuck more.

Ew.

By the way, I love how @articwolfclawartist noticed the parallels with the choking here.

Amalia then commits animal abuse and that’s how these two ended up on the ground looking like disheveled and panting losers.

So Amalia not only beats AN OSAMODAS PRINCESS but also AN OSAMODAS KING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

Must be embarrassing for the osamodas king above all. This fat gorilla is much older, more experienced than Aurora, and has been a king for a long time even before Amalia and Aurora were even born.

And who did he lose to?

To a young Sadida princess who became queen just a few months ago.

The fight hadn’t even lasted 30 minutes and he already lost by forfeiting the battle when he realized he and his trophy daughter had been cornered by sadida bomb dolls.

I repeat.

This “man”, who was king for decades, lost a deadly battle against a princess who became queen a few months ago.

He is such a fucking clown and so are all his offsprings cuz my god he has so many.

….she’s incredibly slow what the fuck.

I bet my whole bank account that the entire iop race can skillfully determine when their opponent wants to kill them better than Aurora.

Aurora: “ShE…sHe’S rEAlLy tRYinG To KiLl uS…”

Aurora a second ago: “I’d rather die than run away from that little brat…”

@pinkysgallery summarized it perfectly here.

And just like animals being hunted in the wild, Amalia corners them with freaking bomb dolls and makes these two look terrified as shit. Good. Their fears make me ecstatically happy.

But AURORA has the fucking nerve to speak again and make her look even more braindead than she already was.

I have so many things to say about this moment:

1) What is bitch talking about? This is the shit she can come up with? “ShOrt TeMpErEd”??? You guys didn’t even talk during the fight so how was she short-tempered if she didn’t speak about anything that would have made her look short-tempered???

2) Aurora is a fucking hypocrite but she’s such a hypocrite that she can’t connect the dots and realize how slow she looks when she quickly snapped just for seeing a female sadida servant being scared of her crusty bat, a male Sadida and a female eliatrope getting married, and knowing that she couldn’t fight Amalia so she still went on and tried doing that and expectedly failed miserably.

3) Contradicted to what??????? What is the chicken yapping about????

I believe she took her worthless manipulation “skill” from her dad. If you pay attention to her ugly chicken claws in the panel above, it’s shaking meaning that she’s genuinely scared of Amalia when she FINALLY learned that the boss-ass queen was trying to kill her.

See, here’s the thing I don’t get.

Sure, the osamodas king did not poison Yugo because we see who it was later on after the osamodas king’s interaction with Amalia ends.

But, here he is again telling Amalia she has no place IN HER FUCKING HOME ANYMORE.

According to who??? Who said she doesn’t belong here??? You??? The fucking outsider??? The king to ANOTHER FUCKING KINGDOM???

Oh yeah, right. You don’t rule your own kingdom that’s true. Your fucking counsellor does your job for you so that you can chill with some ugly crusty bats in caves and probably fuck them too while you’re at it.

He just said that she shouldn’t have hurt her nephew but bitch, if she’s his nephew, that then technically means she has to stay in her kingdom to teach him the Sadida way cuz he’s technically gonna be the future Sadida king. Literally what the fuck????

Ever since these two loser clowns came, they told her she had to leave but why????? When Armand got married to Aurora, Amalia stayed and there were no objections. So why is it a problem now??? If anything, now is the best time for her to stay cuz she’s the only one in the royal Sadida family who’s left and can teach her nephew the Sadida culture.

These people treat kingdoms so badly and have poor organisation to the point that the osamodas king had to be replaced by his fucking counsellor.

Fucking kill me already.

I don’t believe Amalia will receive any severe consequences. If she was ever interrogated and she told them the story from her perspective, these two bozos would look extremely suspicious. Cuz from Amalia’s pov, this is what she could say: “I was having a normal day, these two show up and demand the thrown and tell me to leave and on the very same day, my husband gets poisoned so I attack them and fight them. The fight hasn’t lasted 30 minutes and they easily leave.”

Also from who is she going to get any kind of consequence??

The other rulers??? They wouldn’t dare do anything when Yugo’s acting so unhinged right now.

From Gorilla and Chicken’s “family”??? They are so many, I’m pretty sure one of them wouldn’t mind taking the osamodas throne if it means taking the side of Amalia.

Sure, Amalia will learn that Gorilla and Chicken weren’t actually responsible for Yugo’s poisoning but do you really think she’d still give them her position after knowing they weren’t guilty? Hell no.

This fight meant more than just punishing them for thinking they had committed a crime. This fight also meant the beginning of her separation from the osamodas. For too long she had been forced to get used to them around her when Armand was alive but now she’s queen and gets to finally decide to cut them off for good.

In a way, this is also ironic. Gorilla and Chicken were expecting to cut off Amalia from her kingdom and yet here she is cutting them off from what they thought would be theirs if they just yapped and acted like fake responsible royals.

YEAH FUCKING KICK THEM OUT MAKE THEM WISH THEY WERE NEVER HERE ‼️‼️‼️‼️

I’m so happy she finally fucking beat the shit out of them so that they can FINALLY learn that they have no place here.

YOU BLUE-SKINNED DEVILS HAVE NO PLACE WITH THE SADIDAS GO BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY ‼️‼️

Man, they’re such racists too cuz they realized the eliatropes stayed here, can you believe that? The audacity.

I’m just pissed that she didn’t kill them off though. They might come back for whatever fucking reason which infuriates me to no end cuz like…how the fuck do you come back after getting your ass beat the fuck out by one person when you had someone with you???

I swear if they come back wearing a smirk, I’m eating raw chicken and gorilla brain on the same day.

Fuck these people and fuck anyone who thinks they’re good antagonists. These shitheads gave me a daily migraine during the first volume and I’m so fucking glad they’re not acting like they’re the shit right now.

Look at them running away with their tails between their legs.

THIS IS THE SECOND FUCKING TIME THEY RAN AWAY WTF

If they think they’re royals and can take care of a kingdom, then why the fuck do they run away constantly???

Can you imagine having them as your king and princess? I’d rather die cuz I might as well vanish from the face of the earth if I was a sadida while being aware that these two animals would rule my kingdom.

I bet that the simple inconvenience that could impact the sadida kingdom would make them run away. If that happens, I wanna know what’s Aurora’s excuse this time.

The two people who shouldn’t have interacted so much in the necrome war were Eva and Armand. Eva was able to fight while handling two hyperactive children, and Armand was a fucking king and yet he was fighting on the first line of the battlefield.

Plenty of people, myself included, focused on Aurora leaving during the necrome war but now that I keep thinking about it more, the osamodas king was a bigger deal because he DID NOT have a reason to tell Aurora to run before running first.

If anything, because of the gorilla hanging around in caves and Aurora doing god knows what when Armand used to do his royal job, these two goobers are just royal cosplayers.

Literally. They’re just royal cosplayers.

Gorilla doesn’t do anything besides hanging in caves and Chicken just stands around.

I want you to know how big of a deal this is.

This is serious to think about cuz why the fuck WOULD ANYONE ENTRUST ANYTHING TO THESE CUNTS?????

Anyway, now that we’re done with whatever kind of circus that was, we go back to Yugo and Adamaï trying to balance the poison.

Yugo stop stressing me out with your words.

I know you’re not thinking straight right now and you’re having trouble thinking optimistically in a time like this, but YOU’RE THE SAME PERSON WHO KEEPS SAYING THAT THERE’S ALWAYS A SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING.

You’re gonna be fine AND you’ll find a way to get rid of the poison. You’ve got six Dofus, which can turn any demigod, and mortal, into a god! I’m pretty sure a deadly poison has got nothing on you if you’ve got these artifacts with you.

You’ll be fine (I’m definitely not trying to calm myself down rn)

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

The mysterious dragon and the female sadida servant were accomplices all along.

Not gonna lie, I seriously thought the Gorilla and Chicken hired this sadida servant for sharing the same hatred towards Yugo and Amalia, but now that I learned I was wrong, I have to keep reminding myself that the blue-skinned “royals” should not be taken seriously but should be treated like NPCs instead.

What flabbergasted me at this moment, however, was the reveal.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the female sadida servant wasn’t real. Instead, it was just a disguise. The actual culprit was…

Julith.

Freaking Julith.

She had been ordered by the dragon to poison these two which ended up making Yugo drink it alone instead. @onyichii once theorized, back when chapters 7-8 came out, that the female sadida servant in question could have been Julith and they ended up ACTUALLY BEING RIGHT.

Hi daddy 🥰💕 help me instead 🥰🥰

It was Grougalorasalar guys….

I-

I really thought the mysterious dragon in the dream was Draconiros…

Ever since Chapter 1 came out, I went on a legitimate rant/theory explaining why it would make a thousand times more sense that it was Draconiros and not Grougalorasalar.

Last time I checked, both dragons were the best choice for this theory but I was still shocked that it was the black dragon all this time. I was mainly surprised because Grougalorasalar had been part of Ogrest’s chaos when he was fighting Yugo and Dally back in the ovas which would be weird if he was the same dragon who traumatized Yugo in his sleep for unintentionally causing chaos around the world.

Not to mention that he’s smirking here almost like he’s enjoying the sight of Yugo suffering like this. Now yes, he technically hates Yugo so it would make sense to see that he’s enjoying his pain but then why did he tell Julith that they’ll put a traumatized Yugo and a confused Adamaï out of their misery if he’s now saying this? :

“We’ll talk about it later” ???

What do you mean by that?

When the poison didn’t fully do its job due to the six Dofus in his body, didn’t you just come out in the open to kill Yugo once and for all? Why then tell him that “we’ll talk about it later”?

This makes me wonder if there’s more to this poisoning than we’ve been let on.

Because there’s a possibility that since Grougalorasalar noticed the poison hasn’t entirely worked, maybe he’ll try something else or severe the effects of the poison by moving Yugo and Adamaï away from the Sadida kingdom right now.

mom come pick me up

Grougalorasalar is weird. Not in a bad way but not in a good way either.

He’s just weirdly weird? Does that make any sense?

At first, when I read chapter 10 for the first time, I thought Grougalorasalar being the one responsible for the poison wouldn’t have made sense until @kerubimcrepin explained how black dragons tend to be more inclined to cause chaos.

So I guess it would make sense why he’d be perfectly fine prolonging Yugo’s suffering if it meant it could slowly kill him? But then again, we have no idea if the belladone is even deadly enough to kill Yugo because he’s still breathing. The belladone poison should’ve killed him instantly so maybe the poison is only effective enough to severely injure Yugo but nothing more than that.

Man, I hate that it ended on a huge cliffhanger like that cuz how is Yugo supposed to get out of this one and how will they all react when they find out it was Grougalorasalar and Julith who tried poisoning them?

Do people know that Julith was supposed to be dead? Amalia knows her world of twelve history pretty well given her royal education so maybe she learned of Julith’s death in one of her classes teaching her about the Dofus era when she was younger.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.

Yugo, Adamaï, and Amalia will all be shocked as all hell in the 2nd volume.

My god, I already need it so badly I can’t wait anymore…

I’m scared and I don’t wanna throw up when I see what’s next for them…

[katnissmellarkkk]

Only a couple more posts like this and then I’ll leave y’all alone but… I don’t know how to explain or articulate it properly but there is something I’ve never picked up on before that I suddenly caught when re-reading Mockingjay.

These two moments… when you compare and contrast them…

Gale’s touch and taste and heat remind me that at least my body’s still alive, and for the moment it’s a welcome feeling. I empty my mind and let the sensations run through my flesh, happy to lose myself. When Gale pulls away slightly, I move forward to close the gap, but I feel his hand under my chin. “Katniss,” he says. The instant I open my eyes, the world seems disjointed. This is not our woods or our mountains or our way. My hand automatically goes to the scar on my left temple, which I associate with confusion. “Now kiss me.” Bewildered, unblinking, I stand there while he leans in and presses his lips to mine briefly. He examines my face closely. “What’s going on in your head?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper back.

she says here she’s (somewhat passively) giving gale all that she withheld from him (when peeta, in her mind, was still a possibility) and thinks at least kissing him makes her feel somewhat alive, but even during the kiss she’s not present or focused on gale, and he catches onto that. but the portion highlighted is the important part of this scene. she is startled back into reality when gale calls her name and her awakening is the realization that this isn’t their way. she doesn’t even say “this isn’t my way” (as in, kissing isn’t something she does unless on camera for a show). and she doesn’t say “this isn’t our woods or our mountains or our home” (as in, this place is unfamiliar and strange and scary and that’s what’s disjointing her). no, she says “this isn’t our way”. because this isn’t what she does with gale. kissing gale feels alien and wrong in her heart. even with peeta out of the picture.

and then the second passage from later down the line in mockingjay:

Like the mutts. Like a rabid beast bent on ripping my throat out. And here, finally here in this place, in these circumstances, I will really have to kill him. And Snow will win. Hot, bitter hatred courses through me. Snow has won too much already today.

It’s a long shot, it’s suicide maybe, but I do the only thing I can think of. I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His whole body starts shuddering, but I keep my lips pressed to his until I have to come up for air. My hands slide up his wrists to clasp his. “Don’t let him take you from me.”

peeta, who she claims to have given up on, is begging to be left behind. how many times has she claimed throughout this book that she wishes he was dead (either to end his suffering or to end her own)? and right here, she has just blown up the halo to mercifully kill finnick. she is so desensitized to death by this point. and she thinks she’s so desensitized to peeta. she doesn’t even want to consider he still is peeta. but here, when she has every reason to put him (and herself) out of his misery, she instead turns to kissing him. why? why would you kiss the monster who is actively fighting to not murder you with his bare hands? why would you kiss the boy you called a mutt? the one who you have already done your best to let go of? why would that even cross your mind as a last ditch effort?

because kissing peeta isn’t disjointing and it’s not something she only did for the cameras and it’s certainly not something she’s only doing passively. she’s kissing peeta to remind him who he is. to remind herself who he is to her. she’s tried so hard to stop caring for him, to sever the cord between the two of them, but in this moment she just can’t. she kisses him and says “don’t let him take you from me”.

because the act of kissing actually is their way.

[duckysprouts]

I love the idea that Dick is/was addict to drugs (your art made me love it)

Do you have more specific headcanon about it?

Fic that deals with that?

Angsty art ?

white christmas on ao3 is a good fic for this concept. as for headcannons, i’ve briefly covered them in some other posts and it’s hinted to in my fanfic “dear jason” but never properly laid out

dick got into the drug scene after roy did since they were friends and went to the same parties. roy never forgave himself for leaving a teenager downstairs at the house party.

he got clean for a while but relapsed hard when jason died. it was made worse when he isolated himself, only getting his act together for tim who still is unaware of the whole thing.

one of scarecrows toxins contains some chemicals that trigger the same neurological pathways that his old party cocktails did, so he ended up seizuring once during a run with the titans after getting hit and had to sober up AGAIN. kori and wally were there and lied through their teeth to the younger members as to why it happened (not because they were ashamed of dick but because dick NEVER wants anyone to know)

a fear of his is arresting an old party friend and having them recognize him

he likes to joke to cope with his trauma so a lot of people who don’t know thinks he’s insensitive to addicts and sa survivors. he never makes these jokes to jason, tim, and damian because they know him well enough to realize what happened to him if he did

jason secretly knows. when he came back from the dead and he and dick were beefing it out, he overheard the drugged hallucinations outside dick’s apartment window (made a comic about that) but he never said anything because dick doesn’t want him to know

he still smokes pot sometimes after patrol and would get burgers with one of his redheads after (roy wally kori babs, and i don’t care what u say: jay)

there’s more but i can’t keep going or this post is gonna be like 10 pages so i’ll just leave this here

[qui-gg]

that one post you made about lightbulb and how she made up her entire relationship with paintbrush until ep12 made me like her character a lot more soo has ur thoughts and opinions on lightbulb and maybe paintbrush changed since episode 15??

Thank you for this question and it definitely has, it’s just been taking me a bit to think and format into words exactly how to say this! But with ii16 releasing soon i should go through this now, so be prepared for a ramble.

Since i’ve made that post, I’ve gone through a few more realizations about the preexisting material itself. I should say it’s a bit dramatized when I said she made up the ENTIRE relationship- there was obviously something there since they’d known each other for a very long time, after all Paintbrush does say “we’re STILL friends”, but she moreso took it and ran with it to a level it was never at. I’ve never properly talked about my feelings on Alternate Reality Show here? But it’s my favorite episode and I have TOO MUCH to say. I’ll be bringing up key parts of my analysis though since this is about 15.

This episode features Lightbulb’s elimination, and so evidently that means it should be seeking a way to properly wrap up her story. It’s not the total focus of the episode, and neither is she the main character (she already had that in 12), but I think it was handled the best way it could have been. Initially when I watched the elimination in the Chicago theater (slack jawed and having my heart broken I was cosplaying Lightbulb😢) there was a lot running in my mind but the fact Lightbulb’s expectations had been subverted in the very best way was on the forefront. Leading up to 15, there was a lot of extra material released that pointed towards hyping up Lightbulb. She’s a very popular character so the average fan’s expectation is exactly what she mentioned in the episode, that she’d win for her team. The exit interviews of the flying buddies ALL point towards their expectations of Lightbulb to win- which I think was SO clever and must’ve been intentional. Lightbulb likely hasn’t seen these interviews, but I think on a meta level it’s for us to see and then Judge Lightbulb’s reaction to those expectations. Because as she does, she takes something as friendly and simple as what Test Tube said to her at the end of 14 and blew it out of proportion. Her friends are giving her encouragement to win of course, because that’s the nice thing to say and do when your friend is in a competition! But as we learn from 12, Lightbulb is seeking more from the game than just the game. She’s here for relationships first and foremost. And, we see that she has so much more of a thought process beneath the surface than we initially expect, that she is very observant and aware of her own feelings and others and takes that into account which presents as her backwards intentions in her quirky behavior, the stuff she does that doesn’t seem to make sense all has meaning. (We also see this exerted in one of my favorite Lightbulb appearances, the Jacknjellify upload of the 2022 meetup short, where there’s a scene of her in her own head through the situation. She recognizes she’s failing an interaction, gets insecure about it, and we see her make up a quirky lie in real time! It’s incredibly important LB material) She just prefers to distract herself from them the more intense they get because when things get more serious it is hard for her to be taken seriously or believe that she could be. And Test Tube is very important to all of this despite not speaking in 15 because Lightbulb’s relationship with her was one of the first that became Real. Test Tube recognized that Lightbulb was struggling most prominently as she alone had been on that journey with her and had that talk, she knew her heart wasn’t in the game for a long time. Which affects her actions towards her in 15! But I’ll get to that in a bit. The point i’m trying to make here is that it is the PERFECT SUBVERSION of audience expectations, that Lightbulb would be willing to win for her team, to reveal that instead she just wanted to go home and be with her friends. She had built up those expectations for herself too and thought EVERYONE (both her friends and on a metatextual level, the real fans) would be disappointed in her for feeling that way but it’s something you can see if you’re looking! Her reactions to all the flying buddies’ eliminations, in the 14 stream there’s a discussion about how she’s not doing well at all being all alone, She just disguised it! As usual! And punished herself for feeling different. And I need to emphasize IT IS THE PERFECT WAY TO GO TO ELIMINATE HER VIA LIE DETECTOR. That was one of the coolest things to me. LIGHTBULB, WHOSE FATAL FLAW IS THAT SHE CANNOT SAY WHAT SHE’S FEELING COMPLETELY STRAIGHT OR HONESTLY, WHO NEVER MAKES SENSE, is forced to fight for a position she doesn’t believe she deserves on a lie detector. My little analytical heart knew as soon as the challenge was revealed she was out. But again, the way it all played out was subversive in just the right way and accurate to her character and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Now it’s time for me to address the Lightbrush elephant in the room. I think Brian said it best on the Jazzy ii15 stream- why does a relationship need to be romantic in order for it to be special? There’s a lot there that is written into the show as is that doesn’t need a kiss scene to suddenly make it pay off or matter. So in this analysis i’m not here for Lightbrush at all. It’s best appropriate to look at it from the lens of a platonic friendship as it was intentionally written and portrayed in the show itself, not to speculate on things that aren’t there.

(Plus, i’m less of a fan of the ship these days. My relationship with it is complicated. I just adore Lightbulb and Paintbrush as characters too much)

Obviously it had to be Paintbrush who responded to the emergency signal. It wouldn’t make sense thematically for it to be anyone else. It was revealed by Brian on a few streams that Test Tube chose to tell Paintbrush to go answer the signal intentionally to help Lightbulb out, knowing that she was missing them and her heart was not in the game. I think it speaks to the strength of the flying buddies that they’re able to read each other like this! In III, we come to understand this is how Paintbrush was feeling after their elimination in 12 and solidified in their season 3 elimination, Their heart wasn’t in the game without meaningful relationships. Both of them were just seeking connection the entire time they were apart, and I think this has to go back to what I said in the post you mentioned that she made up their entire relationship with them. They both had a lot of regrets about the way their friendship worked before their first real connection in 12 before being separated, and spent so much time dwelling on how they could repair that but weren’t able to yet. So now that they have to chance to build that up again together they’re going to take it. I think the talk with her between Baseball Knife and Suitcase at the start of 15 is indicative of this as well, she questions Baseball about voting out Paintbrush, something she never previously expressed any anger about. But she’s not angry, she just has been thinking about it more. And also, that scene is incredible because I fully expected Lightbulb to be alone and misunderstood by the Grand Slams because they saw none of her development and hardly understood her but they approached her to see if she was doing okay and I was surprised! Very much a necessary step towards her decision in the end.

It is INCREDIBLY difficult for Lightbulb to be straightforward. When she’s clicking the pen that’s a coping mechanismmm and when she’s FORCED to say outright “I’m scared, and I need help.” That’s painful for her. Unnatural. Her behavior and method of presenting herself through quirks can’t just be turned off, it’s baked into who she is. And she doesn’t need to change that, she just needs to be seen and recognized and taken seriously anyway. Which makes it perfect when she chooses to eliminate herself with what else but a lie. It’s too hard for her to say “I don’t want to be here. I want to go back and stay with you all”, so she tests her resolve once and for all despite knowing in her heart she just wants to leave with them. She’s not giving up a million dollars just to go be with Paintbrush and I think that take is a bit degrading towards her character- This decision holds a lot of weight to her and the audience who expected a lot from her over the four years of buildup to her appearance here. But everything I mentioned previously built up to this choice, plus the point Taco had been making about leaving the game spoke to her but she chose to leave in her own way, not for the reasons Taco thought she should. And we see also at the end of the episode “today I think an old friend tried to show us she’s drowning” despite being scared of her earlier in the episode SHE STILL SEES TACO AS AN OLD FRIEND FROM SEASON 1! It’s so good that Lightbulb says that line so juicy. But that goes to show again Lightbulb is extremely observant of others. Also i love all of the ocean lingo and theming with her. I should post the Baxter essay sometime. ANYWAY! The point is Lightbulb didn’t make this choice lightly, she’s been toiling with it for three episodes now. She missed “her crew”. And she was always here for relationships and fun, not for the money or the game. She finally built something, and now she just wants to lay with it. She’s earned her rest.

I also need to mention the Dunce hat. Oh my god. Her exiting the show with a Label announcing her as an idiot, a perception so so many have of her and within the show, her friends previously had of her, but she doesn’t care because there are people who see through that, who see her! Sure she might not be understood by everyone for the way she is, but there are special people in her life who do. Lightbulb is such an incredible character.

I tried to keep this brief but of course it isn’t!! And this still feels like I haven’t said enough. But yes 15 was very good for Lightbulb and a great way to wrap up her story- even if it’s not technically over yet! We’ll see what happens in the movie. Thank you for reading this far!

[blommp717]

Disingenuous Misleadings

Disclaimer Post

Welcome

I’m really sorry this is a long post but I reallyyyyy hate this idea that people who “manifest” can’t understand NonDualism to experience the life they love.

Hey guys, this is mainly for the “critics” ( dramatic I know, but I really couldn’t think of another word sorry 😭😭🫶) but of course I advice that everyone read it regardless because it’ll also help you understand if this page is for you or not! I received a message recently and I could tell that sooner or later there would be another person like this claiming I’m being fake or disingenuous and misleading with what I say, so here is, the post I’ll always refer them to 😭 I’m going to use word with allot of “quotes” around it because I know if I don’t people r gonna go nuts. If I come off aggressive near the end, then I’m sorry.

“Your not teaching nondualism” 🤭

I’ve actually said this multiple times across plenty of posts that I’m not teaching anyone how to manifest, because there is no such thing, it just looks like manifestation. But I have to use words like that or else no one would understand what I’m saying. If I wanted to be another no concept or NonDualism blogger who speaks vaguely and cryptically to the point where the majority of the people who read their post’s have no idea what they’re even talking about I would. It’s really not hard, because there’s absolutely nothing to learn. All is what “it” is, absolutely no-thing. We get it.

To whoever gets upset that I’m not teaching nondualism and that I’m giving people a false idea that they can read what I say and be awakened, you yourself have no idea what nondualism states. Starting off, no one can awaken, all of that is just random b.s we make up for ourselves because we think there is a “journey” Nonduality is not a teaching, it’s just another random meaningless word we use to describe what “is”. When you truly reach the point of complete understanding you’ll realize that even the idea of nobdualism is well, just an idea. Truly there only ever is “ “ it’s unlabeled, no words can describe, no emotions or thoughts can describe, it’s the indescribable beingness that always is and what “we” are. Notice how vague that is, this is nobdualism, but you realize no one will understand what we say if we all talk like that right? We HAVE to describe it using words people actually understand or else they’ll all be left confused.

What is “happening”

Regardless of your belief or reliance on LOAssumption, LOAttraction or ND, realize that in the end it’s all concepts made “real” by “ “ or if you want to use words that people actually understand, awareness/consciousness/god. These are just thoughts made real by the realization of the thought/idea itself. Understanding NonDualism is realizing how this experience, so to speak, is. Meaning, absolute, no separation, no difference, no duality. I think where people disconnect from is when they come from people saying, “there is no one doing anything” and they see someone like me talking about how to “manifest using nondualism”. I get it can seem like I’m telling it wrong but that also comes from how you see just one of my posts without context. There is nothing and no one, yes, the experience is completely hollow, yes, it’s lacking a substance, lacking a real foundation…yes. But the existence of what appears to be or what seems to be happening (people, life, physicality) still is “real”. We can’t make all of this disappear (and I wouldn’t want it to) by understanding NonDualism properly, the “goal” was never to transcend anything, because it’s all you! You can’t! And the “3D” just like anything and everything to ever exist is deconstructed to “ “. The (for lack of better words) existence of all that’s perceived or experienced is reliant on “ “, including the body. The “answer” is, all of it is “ “ and in essence that is what “you” are. There are no rules, no concepts, no laws, absolutely nothing. BUT THIS ALSO MEANS IT CAN BE ANYTHING. Imagination, thoughts, visuals, physical is all “ “, therefore any story painted by realizing an outcome or experience is what appears as what “happens” in life. A preferred experience made real by the simple realization of that experience. That is not manifestation Its existence, but do you really expect me to tell people that over and over and over again? Nondualism isn’t a technique it’s not a method and never can be. Literally just being and perceiving that your living the life of your dreams or everything always working out for you is not an affirmation to make something happen, it’s the true nature of existence in that instant moment because you’ve realized it, therefore making it “real”

Are you for real rn??

The “3D” is also just “ “, who cares if someone wants to experience the life of their dreams??? You’d rather people learn to be unaffected by the illusion while their life is “spiraling”, or they’re going into debt or waking up “suffering” every single day? Why does it seem so unappealing to you for someone to have “faith” or even “hope” doesn’t matter if there’s no such thing, we cannot escape what appears to be happening. You still exist as a “physical” experience. If we truly wanted to live life so detached from meaning or anything mattering, people would be able to kill each-other and say “well there’s no one doing anything so you can’t charge me with a crime, because a crime also isn’t really real it’s just “ “ your honor” but surprise, though the experience isn’t really “real” and all of it is just an appearance, it still exists! Please I urge you (not really, pls don’t actually do this) go punch someone on the street a few times and see if you don’t have to “experience” the consequences. Oh right you still get arrested, it still leaves a mark on your name, you get charges and probably jail time or a fine. Why?? Just because it’s all illusionary doesn’t mean the illusion doesn’t “exist” (Don’t actually incite any violence it’s just to paint an image)

Conclusion

So what now? So what happens now is you stop getting so upset that someone’s actually explaining nondualism in a way that people can benefit from, this body will be here for however long it is, and up until then I see no point in “suffering”. If you understand ND and “use” it to be completly neutral in any/every moment, good for you, doesn’t mean everyone has to take it that way. And THATS OKAY. But what will NOT happen is for anyone to come on my page and tell my friends/followers that they’re living their own life wrong and shouldn’t want to go about it this way, how selfish you are, truly. Anyways I think I’m kinda done with this post 😭😭 thanks everyone for reading and understanding. 🫶🪷🫀🥰💵 take care.

[daengtokki]

𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 3.1k

synopsis: someone is cheating // pt 2

rating: angst/sort of fluff ꩜ -`♡´-

⤜ · · ♡ · · →

Now Seungmin remembers just how lonely he can get

The dorm is silent. It’s late and everyone is asleep, but he didn’t realize just how late it had gotten until he closed the door a little too loudly. He drops his bags and pulls off his clothes as he makes his way to the bed, tossing them and leaving a trail as he goes. Typically, he throws them right into his hamper, or folds them neatly on his chair, but tidyness is far from his mind right now—almost everything is.

But still, his mind is racing. It’s spinning and it’s aching, and his heart is, too. He feels outside of his own body as he replays the last hour in his head, and he just wants to wake up from this nightmare.

Seungmin crashes onto the bed. He hasn’t been here in a few weeks, at least not to sleep, and the bed feels all wrong. The thought of being here, and not where he’s supposed to be breaks him, and his breath catches in his throat as he desperately holds everything back. But it’s too much, and he has to cry. Silently, though—that much he can do. He turns and pushes his face into the pillow and lets go.

A text comes through, and the first thought that runs through his head—it’s you, it has to be. Pleading for forgiveness, and throwing I love you’s in every direction. It’s not until he looks at the screen that he remembers the shattered remains he left on the floor. But you have other ways; your laptop, mainly. If you really wanted to, you could reach him right now with no trouble.

This text is from Jeongin.

min is that you? I didn’t think you’d be here. Everything okay?

As quiet as he was, that was all kind of ruined when he had to blow his nose and breath properly again. And there’s something about a post-cry nose blow that’s just…obvious.

yeah I’m okay

Everything will come out in the morning anyway.

If you say so…we can have a drink and watch something if you want to talk

Jeongin isn’t just perceptive; he knows Seungmin well, and he knows when something is off.

we can talk tomorrow, I should sleep

Seungmin has no hope of sleep tonight.

· · ♡ · ·

The broken phone at your feet blinks pathetically, trying with everything it has to hold on and buzz a text message in. You don’t care, though. You don’t need your phone if Seungmin isn’t texting, or calling, and only realizing that now is your problem. You got complacent—apathetic over the months you’ve been with him. Unbelievably stupid. You’ve ruined the best thing that ever walked into your life. All you can think of now is every word you want and need to say to him, but you can’t.

No, you can. Your laptop is right there, on the coffee table. If anything, you can gather and organize your thoughts, because you can't imagine him wanting to hear from you tonight. Getting him back might be impossible, but this still feels necessary. Sending it off in an email is something morning you will decide on.

Minnie, I’m sorry it’s come this—I’m sorry you have to feel the way you do right now, and I need you to know how much it kills me that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that I’ve done so poorly as your person, something I should be better at by now, that I have to write to you this way just hoping you’ll read it. I’ve failed you, because I should have been stronger, and I should have been there for you when you needed me the most. Not stronger, no, just better…more perceptive and more understanding. I do know how lonely it gets for you, because you have mentioned it before, but I’ve been so selfish for so long. Getting to be yours for the last 2 years has been a dream. I never thought someone as sweet, and funny, and loving, and as beautiful as you would ever come into my life. I won’t try to explain my actions, because there is no explanation. I don’t deserve you, or your forgiveness. I broke your trust. I broke everything. I felt entitled to fix my loneliness when you were suffering with it, too. But you didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt me. I want you to know that I love you, though. I love you more than anything. You are irreplaceable and I will suffer without you, because I should.

Three, four times you read through it before deciding to hit send. It can’t wait until you decide to wake up in the morning, because sleeping tonight will be difficult—but crying is exhausting. You doze off for an hour, then jump out of it abruptly for no reason. Panic takes over, and your heart feels like it might explode as you orient yourself in a tangle of sheets. Seungmin isn’t here, and it takes a moment to remember why.

You smack the keyboard of your laptop until it wakes up, and the new email at the top of the pile makes the panic even worse.

RE: (no subject)

Twelve minutes ago.

You click it and brace yourself for more heartbreak; more difficult truth. An end.

· · ♡ · ·

Seungmin does decide to get up and get a soju, but he does it alone. He needs something to help him relax; numb things a little, and make his eyes a little heavier. The time between is spent looking through old messages between him and you, which is not making things better, but Seungmin wants to figure out where things went wrong. He gets as far back as four months of texts when a notification pops up on his phone.

You did exactly what I thought you would, he mumbles to himself. It’s an email, no subject. Before the little banner disappears, he opens it, and he devours every word far too quickly. Seungmin’s heart races and his stomach swirls as he scans each paragraph, and then he immediately goes back and starts again, slowly.

Now he has something more to dwell on. He gets up and heads to the kitchen for another drink, and when he returns, he just starts typing:

I love you, too. Before I say anything else, I want you to know that. I keep reading your email over and over as I type, because my head is a mess and I can’t focus much right now, but your words ground me. They always have. It’s been a while since you’ve given me a hand written letter, and this, of all things, made me miss that. You have a way with words that I just can’t seem to replicate. I’m hurting like I don’t remember ever hurting before. I feel opened up and ripped apart. I feel like I’m not enough, or I wasn’t enough. I was scared of a relationship because of this, I guess. Being away, not being enough, because I know I’m bad at expressing myself sometimes. Most of the time. Not being with you much makes it even harder. So I feel at fault, too. I need to own up to not always being there when you need me, even though it came with our type of relationship. I’m sorry it’s so hard for us to talk like this face to face…or for me to, I guess. I didn’t give you a chance.

· · ♡ · ·

That’s it.

You’re relieved, but you’re not sure if you should reply again. Leaving it at this until morning might be the best option. But what happens in the morning? Does Seungmin come back home? Will he reply if you email him again? Maybe he’ll sleep in late, leave again, leave you waiting for a message just like you did to him. You think back to the last time he was home, and how you weren’t even here because you ignored his text. Not just ignored, but didn’t even look at it to see that he was waiting and wondering why you weren’t there to greet him.

It feels like your heart is being squeezed just imagining his confused face. And then your mind moves to him…the other one, and it makes you sick thinking of him now. It should have done that before. Irreplaceable is exactly what Seungmin is, that was no exaggeration.

Luckily, you fall asleep with his words in your head; the I love you, the possibility of another chance. And your guilt, still, of making him think he hasn’t been enough.

· · ·

There’s hardly a chance to think of replying to Seungmin. You don’t sleep long, because once you’re awake, you’re awake. Showered, dressed, coffee slowly dripping in the glass caraffe. You prep enough in the hopes that he’ll have some, too, but that’s mostly wishful thinking—a desperate attempt at a manifestation.

A reply has been rolling around in your head since last night, and it formed into a solid set of paragraphs as you took your time in the shower, now you just have to sit and hope it comes out just as well. And you do open his email, but instead of typing, you grab a pencil and a piece of stationary from the desk—stationary you bought just for his letters. You haven’t touched them in at least a year.

It actually comes out easier this time.

Seungmin,

Might as well start properly.

You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like—

The sound of keys makes you stop. The slide of metal against metal as it’s pushed in and turned; every bit of it is so, so loud. You look again at the broken phone on the floor, not forgotten, but not even deserving of a place in the trash can. You couldn’t bring yourself to touch it.

When you look back at him, the first thing he does is find you, and then he looks to the aftermath of his out of character temper. Then back at you.

You set the pencil down and stand, but you don’t take a step toward him. Every part of you screams to be closer, though.

“Hi,” he takes a few steps inside, kicks off his shoes next to yours. “Morning.”

It’s nearly noon, but you can pretend you didn’t stay up and sleep in late. You haven’t had coffee yet, anyway, so that’s what you do—you force yourself to the kitchen and pour a mug, and then you pour the rest over ice for him.

He watches, but looks at what you were working on as he gets closer to the coffee table. You don’t say anything when he picks up the piece of paper and reads it, rereads it. “I got you something,” he says as he places it back on the table.

“Uhm…you did?”

Why would he do that? You don’t feel like you deserve his gifts at the best of times, so you certainly don’t want anything now.

Seungmin digs in the shopping bag and pulls out a little white box, opens it, and then hands you your new phone.

“I was out of line last night, when I…” he looks at it on the floor again, “I’m sorry.”

“No, Minnie…you weren’t, at all”

“You didn’t deserve my anger”

“I did, I needed it. I want it. Please don’t be nice to me.”

“Okay, if you really mean that…” He walks over slowly and picks up his glass, takes a long sip... “I’ve never felt so angry at you before. I didn’t think I could feel like that, honestly. And I was still holding back.”

“I could tell. Part of me wanted you to let go.”

“Let go, let go how? I could never hurt you.” His touch is a relief—the gentle slide of his thumb across your skin, his hand closing softly around your neck. A much different touch than last night. “Phone, yeah. Him, maybe.”

“That person is gone”

“Did it help…did he help? Were you less lonely with him?”

Thinking about it isn’t really necessary, but you take a long moment to look at Seungmin—his eyes are big and wet, and they’re puffy from not getting enough sleep, or crying. Most likely both, though you can only remember seeing Seungmin cry once in the time you’ve known him. And it wasn’t over you.

“No, I wasn’t. I think it was making me feel worse.”

“I’m irreplaceable, right?”

The tease in his voice is obvious, and his little laugh breaks every bit of tension in the room. You need to pull him in and kiss him, but whether or not you’re there yet is still a mystery. Instead, you shift slightly closer.

“Yes, you are”

He smiles. You’ve seen him smile like that before, and it’s always when he’s in a certain mood. Seungmin sets his glass down and takes yours from you.

“Seungmin”

The desperate whine just makes him smirk.

“Please, Minnie…I need you, so much”

“I know you do, I know.” But he grabs your wrists and stops you as you move toward his hips. “You have me. And I need something to.”

“Of course, anything”

“Can you finish your letter?”

· · ·

Seungmin is never fast in the shower, especially not after he’s been away for so long. There’s no need for him to rush around now—he knows he has plenty of time, and plenty of hot water no matter how long he takes. Typically, you leave him alone when he’s in there, despite the occasional urge to go in.

But this time, of all times, you decide to act on that urge.

There he is, behind the glass partition. Steam chokes the air, and condensation keeps his body mostly hidden from you, but he’s tall enough that you do get a peak—back turned, head twisted to the side so the water can beat down on his neck and shoulders. He rolls them, groans with relief, and sighs. It makes you dizzy.

Then he finally opens his eyes and sees you staring at him. He smiles so wide, with all of his teeth, and it’s the most beautiful sight. It’s as if nothing bad has happened, and nothing is slowly tearing the two of you apart.

“I think I’m finally losing hot water,” he muses, mostly to himself, but he doesn’t turn it off. What he does do is turn to you and fold his arms over the partition. He’s just tall enough. “Hi, do you have something for me?”

You nod, shyly, and you don’t know why. The way he’s looking at you seems brand new, and it feels so intense.

“Seungmin…” you start, paper clutched in one hand. You don’t think you even need to read from it now.

He doesn’t interrupt, but he nods and gives you another little smile.

“You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like. I don’t know how difficult and tiring it is to be on all the time, and to switch off when you walk through that door to me. I have it so easy—I get to hide away from everything, and then at the end of the day, or the end of the week, month…I get you, I get to hear your voice, and see your face, and I couldn’t ask for anything better…”

He ducks away, and the water is turned off as one more big plume of steam rises up and starts to clear. You reach for his towel, hold it open for him, and wait patiently as he drips and shakes his hair. It’s cute, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him do it.

“…because there’s nothing better”

Seungmin steps out and lets you wrap it around him. The water beading down his chest is too much, and as he’s tightening it around his waist, you lean forward and kiss him there. Muscle flexes as you pull away and place another one, and then another until your lips close around his nipple.

At any moment, he could pull away from you, because he hasn’t made his intentions clear yet. He could stay now, for a while, for the last time, or he could leave as soon as he’s dressed. The letter is written and read to him, though it was short, and maybe that was the last of your say on the subject. Maybe that’s why he showed up—that, and the phone.

No. Seungmin wouldn’t put in this much effort just to turn around and leave. He’s still upset, and he’s still confused.

He looks down at you and closes his eyes, savoring the warmth of your lips on his cool skin. It might be too much right now to touch again, but he wants to.

A hand up your back is all it takes to get a sound out of you.

“Hey”

“Yeah?” Your forehead presses against him and you avoid his gaze.

“Everything you said, just now and last night…” he stops and hmms to himself, musing out loud again, “and what I said. Why can’t we say those things to each other. Why did it take this, after so long?”

“Because we’re both afraid of being vulnerable with each other, at least on our feet.”

Seungmin laughs at that. “Yeah, I guess it’s a little different during sex, but even then…”

“Are you saying you want—“ you stop, but not because he interrupts you. You stop because you’re terrified of his answer.

“…to work on it?”

He can still finish your sentences. Maybe that’s part of the problem—thinking you can read each other’s mind, even though sometimes you absolutely do.

“I can feel your heartbeat”

And it feels like it could stop at any moment. It feels like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, preparing to jump…to get pushed.

Seungmin pulls you even closer, and you wrap your arms around his waist.

“Is that what you think we should do?”

“I just want you to trust the person you give yourself to”

“Is it silly if I still trust you? I know you want me to stay, but the way you talk makes it seem like you’re pushing me away. Like you’re giving me an out.”

“No, it’s not silly. I don’t want to push you away, but I do hate myself more than I ever thought I could.”

“Maybe we’ve talked enough today. We both need more sleep…can we do that?”

[judesmoonbeauty]

Fairytale Keeper's Final Assessment SE:

Ellis Twilight’s POV Premium END ཐིཋྀ

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Highly suggestive. MDNI. Dividers: @/natimiles

(I told her to take a little time away from me, but I couldn’t resist.)

(I feel stupid, even though I’m the one who suggested it.)

I used to be so good at being patient.

It was all so easy to kill my desires.

(I’ve been a mess since I fell in love with you Kate.)

But you accepted me like this with a warm smile, this desire that overflows and doesn’t stop.

(Kate, choose me.)

Ellis: ……Kate’s apartment, it’s right here.

I ran up the stairs to the room on the second floor of the bakery.

I forgot to knock and opened the door.

Kate: …..ELLIS!

Kate and I bumped into each other.

Ellis: ….Kate.

Ellis: Were you going somewhere?

I look at Kate’s face as she looks down.

Ellis: Or……were you…….coming to see me?

Kate nodded her head with her eyes downcast, and I couldn’t help but feel happy.

Kate: I was actually going to stay here until morning, as promised to think things over.

Kate: But, when I thought about various things I started to want to……see you Ellis.

Ellis: Various?

Kate: Even if I quit being the Fairytale Keeper, we will always love each other Ellis. I have no doubts or worries about that.

Kate: Our relationship as lovers could continue…….I’m confident about that.

Kate: But then I realized that…if we’re apart, there will be more things I won’t know.

Kate: If we were apart for example, I wouldn’t be able to know if you got hurt, Ellis.

Kate: Maybe…there will be times you get injured and can’t meet up.

Kate: As I thought about that…..I became unbearably afraid of being apart.

Ellis: …Kate.

Kate: And I’m not just afraid…I’m being selfish, but I don’t like the idea of there being something that I don’t know about you, Ellis.

Kate: I’m sorry…I…what am I saying?

(I’ve seen many expression, but I’ve never seen Kate’s expression like this.)

Kate: Ellis, it’s me…….

Kate: I feel like I’m lost without you, Ellis.

Ellis: …..

(I’m in trouble.)

(I’m so happy it makes me crazy.)

Ellis: It’s okay, Kate. Me too.

Ellis: I’m lost without you too.

Kate: …Ellis.

(So tell me. That you’re happiest being with me, and Crown.)

Kate: Living with you and Crown is what makes me happiest right now.

Kate: Will you let me continue being the Fairytale Keeper?

Ellis: That’s what I’ve been hoping you’d choose all along.

Ellis: I’m sorry I made you feel lonely because I wanted…..you to choose me.

Even though I can see that my desires are doing something wrong and keeping her in a tight grip.

(And yet I can’t stop wanting you.)

Kate: It’s okay. I realized that you’re more important to me, Ellis.

Ellis: Kate….can I kiss you?

Kate: Mhm, mmm…..

Every time I kiss her from a different angle, my desire overflows and I can’t stop.

She smiles in my arms even though she is entangled in my thorny desires.

I am becoming more messed up.

Ellis: I want to push you down and do…..lot’s of things that feel good.

Ellis: But only after I’ve taken you home properly.

Ellis: Can I take you away?

Kate: Yes.

Kate: Ellis, you can take me wherever you want to go.

Ellis: You might not be able to go anywhere, you know?

Kate: I don’t care. As long as you’re by my side Ellis.

Ellis: You’re still a little crazy.

Kate: …Do you hate it?

Ellis: …..I love it.

I took Kate back and we drowned in a wave of sheets.

Kate: N…..mmm…..Ellis….nn

Ellis: Oh, does it feel good here, Kate….?

Kate: Oh, ngh…..ah, that feels good.

Ellis: Then I’ll do it more for you.

Kate: Uh, ah……….ah.

(I was told this……before by Kate.)

Flashback (Ellis Main Route) -

Kate: It’s not just about making the other person happy.

Kate: I think it would be better for you to become a lover with someone you want to be together with forever.

Ellis: That I’ll ……stay beside forever?

Kate: Yes.

(At the time, I had no answer for you.)

(But now I can say it clearly.)

Flashback Ends -

Ellis: Kate……stay by my side forever.

Ellis: Be my only lover forever.

(I won’t let you go even if I die. That’s why, my love keeps killing.)

Kate smiled and hugged me.

Like embracing thorns herself.

And so our daily life began again.

The morning sun, which has just risen, shines faintly on us on the sheets.

Ellis: Hey, Kate……how happy are you?

Kate: ……..I’m very happy.

Kate: But maybe we’d both be happier if we ate bread with lots of cranberry jam for breakfast.

Ellis: Yeah, that’s the best I can imagine.

Kate: Hehe, right?

I like it when Kate says, “Tomorrow will be happier.”

(This is not the end of us.)

She looked at me and seemed to be thinking the same thing.

(We can be much, much happier from now on.)

(We can forget the words like “goodbye”.)

Ellis: Ah.

Kate: Oh, no!

Ellis: I’m sorry I lied. I already did it.

Kate: What, when?

Ellis: After you fell asleep last night.

Ellis: How could I forget anything about you….right?

Kate blinks and then a faint blush appears on her cheeks.

Kate: Ellis, you’re still a bit of a troublemaker.

I love her today, even when she says that.

The day after tomorrow and the day after that.

Then, someday when you have confirmed that you’re at your happiest-

(Let’s stop time together and become an eternity.)

Until then, let’s have the happiest days ahead.

FairyTale Keeper Continuation Agreement

Kate hereby agrees to continue as Fairytale Keeper. ‘Cause we’ll always be together until we stop time and become an eternity. -Ellis Twilight

A few days after I agreed to continue to be Fairytale Keeper, I suddenly received a notice from her Majesty the Queen.

Kate, I’ve heard of your work. Thank you for everything. Now, I’d like you to assess something for me. Whether or not, Ellis, is the right person for Crown.

[Bitter End] [Epilogue] [Master List]

[ponds-of-ink]

The Certified Pond Analysis of Scraptrap Voicelines

Because I haven’t talked about this rabbit’s voice lines as much as I should.

Buckle up. This is gonna get wordy.

-

So, going in the order of this video, we have:

“I always come back!”

The most quoted Afton line. And understandably so. This is the man at his most triumphant, even with his.. questionable suit-repair choices. The emphasis on “always” as well as the moderately louder volume really sells that confident air Springtrap continues to have in FNAF AR. Though, as we’ll soon see, this is not the only emotion he feels as Scraptrap.

(Also, before we continue: This gives me the first point on the “I can hear the smile in his voice” scoreboard. It’s a surprise tool that should help us later.)

”Bittersweet, but fitting”

…And by “later”, I apparently mean now.

There may be a smirk at the end, but it’s not a strong one. The overall line read is much more reserved here. Maybe even somber, if I’m inferring correctly. The choice of words is interesting here too. Whoever’s the owner of the Pizza Sim building, he may not be as fond of jumpscaring them as one would think…

”What a deceptive calling! I knew it was a lie the moment I heard it— Obviously, but it is intriguing nonetheless…”

Ah, yes. The big monologue post-Salvage. Couple of things I noticed here that aren’t debatable lore implications:

(1) Man’s rushing through that second half for some reason. Don’t know if that was an editing error, an intentional line read, or Scraptrap trying to.. reason with himself? Sound smarter than he thinks he is? I dunno, something about the pacing is off here.

(2) Oh, hey, first line with a “snake hiss”! This isn’t a consistent trait with his lines, but it’s a key feature that I use to differentiate Springtrap and Scraptrap during voice impressions.

(3) This man puts so much emphasis on words sometimes. So much so that I can not only hear the smile near the end, but I can also feel the eye roll during “deceptive”. And PJ Heywood never voice acted before FNAF apparently? H u h.

Anyway, moving on before I start implying that Scrap-Trap might’ve been lured in by a newspaper or something…

“Fascinating! What they have become…”

Another point to the “I can hear the smile” board. We’re on three points now; three and a half if you count “Bittersweet”.

This one I’ve already brought up before, but the abridged analysis is: This guy (unlike Glitch-Trap in that one Security Breach trailer) actually compliments his.. uh.. teammates? Workmates? ..Just realized that the relationship dynamic between the Salvage Gang doesn’t have an official term. Bummer.

That aside, it’s genuinely interesting that he doesn’t diss them at all. You think he would given his reputation, but no. He just has this twisted sense of “oh wow they’re so cool”.

…Come to think of it, has he directly dissed somebody in the games specifically? I’m not even sure if the “Deceptive Calling” monologue or the AR Springtrap lines count. AR Springtrap tends to boast about himself more than put the player down and Scraptrap was having an ‘I’m smarter than that lol” moment.

If I’m right, then I think I may have found a proper difference between a pretend Mimic Afton and the real one. Huh.

“How can I resist a promise such as this?”

Getting back to the main topic, we’ve got a return for the snake hiss and the emphasis on certain words. Also, add another point to “I can hear the smile”— Except it’s more of a smug grin than a bizarre, wide-eyed look of wonder.

Not sure what that promise is post-jumpscare, but I do know that this has a chance to play during the office sections. So the promise is either Henry’s lure or seeing his son Mike one last time. I dunno, dude, it’s all vague to me.

”That was easier than I thought it would be…”

AKA The line that makes me wonder “Dude, you good?”

No seriously. The quick halt in-between the second and third word. The sudden choke that happens at the end. Like his voice just properly broke for the first time in ages. The overall somberness of it all. There is literally no smile here and I’ve checked. There may even be tears starting to well up, but I obviously can’t be sure.

It’s even implied that he thought he’d had a tougher time fighting the owner! He actually assumed he wouldn’t win this easily!

Something about this feels.. unnerving. He’s not supposed to sound this upset. At least, not usually. So what, pray tell, is going on with this voice line?? Why was this the take Scott used??

“You may not recognize me at first, but I assure you: It’s still me”

Well, that’s one more point for the “I can hear the smile” board. Also, I believe this is confirmation of that ‘Springtrap switched suits after FNAF 3’ theory? That’s what it sounds like, at least?

But, hey, at least Scrap-Trap is canonically aware of the sudden shift in appearance. Let’s hope his potential FNAF World 2 version isn’t as nervous about it as I assume FNAF 6 him would be… If he had access to the internet, of course.

Also, for the one person who may or may not care about this: He’s using contractions here. I think it’s been established that he only uses these at certain times, but I can’t remember where exactly I read that analysis. Anyway, he’s unafraid about “slipping up” at this point.

One more thing…

Compared to AR Springtrap, Scraptrap is much more.. casual in tone, if that’s the best way to put it. Much more low energy, though his antics are anything but.

Like, yes, he’s still coming for you if you keep letting ads play on your computer. But maybe he’ll let you live for a few seconds longer just so you could turn the ad off? He’s not in a rush, as far as I can tell.

Maybe that’s another reason why my brain jumps to Scraptrap more than Springtrap. If he wasn’t tied to this “attacking the guard” business, he could probably chill for a second and give advice on paperwork. Wouldn’t last for long, of course, but at least one could potentially die knowing that you drank coffee with a much more business-savvy Spring Bonnie… Grungy though he looks. Springtrap, on the other hand, wouldn’t give you the time of day.

TL;DR:

PJ Heywood put more nuance into this guy than even I was expecting. Big round of applause, genuinely.

[plutoccult]

OUT OF THE WOODS

pairing: levi ackerman x gender neutral reader

description: you were notorious for following levi’s every order without hesitation. it was practically unbearable for him, but the one time you disobey him is when he is eternally grateful.

word count: 2.8k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: this is something i’ve never done before aka write for levi! i’m hoping i haven’t strayed too far from his character, but it’s worth trying something new. i must admit, this is a little messy and i’m quite iffy about it, but i at least tried my best. i almost named this “the monsters turned out to be just trees” because i 1. love taylor swift and 2. thought those lyrics captured this almost perfectly, but i decided it was too long and just went with the song title those lyrics are from. this is something entirely new and never before posted anywhere else, but it will also be shared on ao3 as everyone has their preferences on where they like to read. as always, i hope you enjoy <3

you always obeyed levi’s every order, and god, he hated it.

“yes, captain.” you’d say. “right away, captain.” was another one of your go-to phrases. you could just… talk to him? like a normal human being? yes, he was your captain, but levi craved a normal conversation with you.

oh, wait. why did he want that so badly? why did he want to hear your voice say things other than replying to his commands for you and the squad? it’s not like he liked you. no, no! he couldn’t stand you. that’s what this was. right?

levi was particularly known for only listening to commander erwin’s orders and no one else’s, but he didn’t see himself of such importance. it wouldn’t kill you to protest a little bit for once. he even tested your obedience by demanding you glue a broken vase back together. you then proceeded to spend hours restoring it to its former glory. he was surely impressed, but at the same time, he couldn’t believe you actually did it. dare stubborn ol’ levi ever admit it, but he found it kind of cute.

when it came down to the 57th exterior scouting mission, your final order was simple; retreat back to your horses. things didn’t exactly go as hoped, and while the scouts learned something new that day, there was still so much work to do. you wished for everyone’s sake that one day you all could share a proper victory, but it didn’t seem possible just yet with something as stubborn as the female titan.

you and the rest of levi’s squad did as told, but it all went by the wayside when gunther was attacked out of the blue by a figure hidden under the disguise of your scout gear, their green hood concealing their face. there was no time to go along with the plan, now was time to fight back. the squad couldn’t let whoever killed their comrade get away.

as you all attempted to attack, the disguised assailant transformed in front of your very eyes into the female titan you all failed to successfully capture before. now this truly meant war, but the squad was simply no match for this monster.

it all seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. you lost your squad members one after another. you were the last one remaining, you knew this was it. this was your time to die, wasn’t it? part of you always thought it would end in the middle of battle, but not like this. this couldn’t be the end. you didn’t want it to be.

your brain struggled to catch up with everything happening so fast and hitting you all at once. it was impossible to think straight, to get your head together and fight properly. but it was also impossible to realize eren was turning into his titan form until it was too late. the impact of his transformation knocked you straight into a tree, leaving you unconscious as he avenged your fallen squad members, all while your captain had yet to head to the scene of the crime.

levi immediately knew something was wrong the second he saw the sudden glow of eren’s transformation from afar. of course there was something more to this mission. he had to get there quick before it could possibly get any worse, but his idea of “any worse” had already become true; his squad was gone.

he couldn’t do anything to stop eren just yet, levi knew that. this fight between two titan shifters was to be expected. if only the hothead wasn’t so blinded by rage. levi knew better than to let emotions get to the best of him, no matter how much it hurt seeing his squad like this, dying under his wing.

his eyes scanned the states of everyone. gunther, eld, petra, oluo, and then… you. you, who laid there motionless. the life taken out of you, or so levi thought. he couldn’t let this affect him. levi kept all emotions hidden, tucked and buried in deep where no one could find them, no one except the one person who was capable of bringing them out.

“captain…”

huh?! was his mind playing tricks on him? who dared to deceive his ears? it couldn’t be real. it was nothing. nothing at all. you were dead, levi was sure of it, just like the rest of the squad. he was left alone once again, seemingly cursed with this fate from the day he was born.

but then you let out a cough, blood coming out of your mouth and splattering onto the grass. my god, it wasn’t some sick joke from his brain. you miraculously were alive, and levi was too stubborn to let you die out.

he immediately rushed over to you and flipped you off your side so you laid on your back. you breathed heavily and coughed violently, muttering out weak apologies as blood stained your hands, but levi didn’t care. he’d stain himself over and over for your sake.

“you disobeyed orders.” levi said, trying his best to force himself to stay his usual coldhearted self, but it was a losing battle, just like today’s mission. he placed a hand on your cheek, his eyes once filled with anger now becoming soft. “you disobeyed me.”

you could’ve sworn the sight in front of you was like seeing heaven. the impact from earlier made your memories quite hazy, and while you knew you weren’t dead, you sure wouldn’t hate it if this was it. levi’s head blocking the sun made him look like an angel sent from the very land itself, and it was pure bliss.

you closed your eyes with a smile on your face, unbeknownst to you what had truly occurred. to your captain, it seemed like you had left him for good this time, but when he pressed his ear against your chest, he felt the rhythm of your heart as if it were a symphony.

levi couldn’t stand to leave you like this. he had to make sure you got to safety and were treated right away. even if it took you god knows how long to recover, it didn’t matter. but with the female titan trying to take eren alive, he had to remember why he was here in the first place and attempt to clean up the mess the scouts created. you were able to hold out for a little while longer by some sort of miracle, and when levi was able to capture eren back with the help of mikasa, he took you back to where you belonged; with him and the scouts.

by the time you returned to base, you were fast asleep, worn out from the mission. as there wasn’t enough room for all those who were injured, levi took matters into his own hands and tended to your wounds himself, even giving you his bed as he had a much bigger room and it wasn’t like he slept that much anyway. it seemed almost wrong and unprofessional to do so, but when it came to you, he couldn’t help but be a little selfish. it’s what a good captain would do anyway, right?

after what felt like ages, you finally woke up, your mind struggling to remember everything from yesterday. you grew confused as you found yourself in what wasn’t your room, and it became even more puzzling as you saw your captain sitting in a chair next to the bed waiting for you to wake up.

the look of impatience and worry was all you could read from his face and body language. his arms crossed, index finger tapping repeatedly like a drum on his bicep. he was looking away from you, watching the wind blow on the trees outside. levi had been using that view to pass the time and keep himself calm, but it didn’t really help much. only the sound of your voice was medicine to him.

“captain?”

levi lightly jumped in his seat and turned to see your face. you had been bandaged up, not a single wound left dirty. you were also quite bruised, and you immediately winced when you tried to adjust the way you sat. you couldn’t help but wonder what happened to you. if only you hadn’t hit your head so bad.

“you’re awake.” he said plainly. he didn’t want to show too much enthusiasm and freak you out, but on the inside, levi was so glad to see you were okay. the look of confusion on your face made him worry, and he felt the need to overshare and explain what was going on. “uh, this is my room. i took care of you since there wasn’t enough help.”

“oh?” you furrow your eyebrows. “what… what happened?”

“i think i could ask you the same thing, y/n.” levi replied. he had been waiting all this time to hear the truth of what happened. you saw what had happened to your fellow squad members, but with the way you lost consciousness, you had a hard time remembering it all. you could only draw blanks, and you felt as if you disappointed your captain.

“i’m… not sure. i don’t remember. i’m sorry.” you frown.

“i figured.” he sighed. he couldn’t get too mad, but part of him longed for an explanation so he could know where everything went wrong.

“where is everyone? surely petra must have helped you with this, right?” you ask, the question paining levi without you knowing a thing. “you couldn’t have done all of this by yourself.”

levi found himself unable to think about how to go with this. he wanted to let you down easy, lessen the blow, but with that look of innocence in your eyes, you just made it so damn hard for him. “y/n, they’re all gone.”

“gone?”

“gone.” he hated having it come out so harsh, but he had to get the point across without any sugarcoating. levi couldn’t lie, it would be an incredible disservice to you.

“no…” then you began to recall all that happened yesterday; the forest, that god damn female titan, it all replayed in your mind like a never ending horror movie. “no, this is all just one big nightmare. you can pinch me now, okay?”

your delusions only made it worse for levi. he couldn’t let you fool yourself thinking there was the slightest chance they weren’t gone, but he saw, he knew. all the life had been taken out of them, and whoever was behind the monster did it so cold-heartedly. it made him seem a little more humane in the eyes of his peers, as shocking as that was.

“i found all of you scattered on the ground. i thought you died just like they did.” levi said, those last few words coming out strained as he struggled to keep it together. he couldn’t let you see him like this, no way. he had to find an excuse to leave you be so he could go somewhere and let it all out without anyone seeing him.

“this can’t be, oh god.” you sob uncontrollably, making levi uncomfortable. he felt this way because it only made him want to cry with you, but at the same time, it felt wrong to feel like that.

“i can give you space to process this.” he began to stand up, but you tug on his sleeve to stop him, much to levi’s surprise.

“no, no, no. stay.” you giving him orders? he couldn’t believe it, but he would let you stop him, just for a moment.

“it is typically me who gives orders, you know.” levi spoke deliberately.

“well.” you pause, trying to find the right words. “i order you to stay.”

and just like you always did with him, he couldn’t help but obey your order. you let go of levi’s sleeve as he sat back down in his chair, too flustered to look you in the eye.

“i just… i wanna say i’m sorry i failed the squad, but most importantly, i’m sorry i failed you.” you say, your words full of utter shame, feeling like a complete failure. it was like you had just harshly tugged at levi’s heartstrings, despite it being crazy to think that levi ackerman did in fact have a heart.

“there was nothing you could do. the female titan outsmarted all of us.” he replied in that typical monotone voice. it almost started to irritate you. you were trying to have some sort of heartfelt conversation and it seemed like he couldn’t take you seriously. levi wanted to take all of it seriously, but he continuously battled with his mind and heart, and his mind kept winning.

“but it shouldn’t have happened.” you try to protest.

“we can’t turn back time, y/n.” levi argued back.

you can’t help but roll your eyes at him, a huge shock on levi’s end. “god, your words are terrible.”

“excuse me?”

“don’t you know it’s okay to feel things, captain?” you ask him. “i know they call you “humanity’s strongest soldier,” but is being emotionless a requirement?”

he’s unable to form words. where had this fire in you come from? had it been hiding this whole time? where had this disobedient soul been during the entirety of levi’s reign? he couldn’t help but be shocked yet amazed at the same time.

“that squad was like family to me.” you say with tears streaming down your face. “i thought you would’ve felt the same way, but i guess that suspicion i desperately tried to push away was right.”

“…and that is?”

“that you never liked any of us, not one bit, especially…” your lips tremble, but you force yourself to finish your sentence. “especially me.”

when you said those last two words, levi almost gasped. it made him feel so… terrible. so goddamn terrible he knew he couldn’t let his mind win anymore. it was time he chose his heart for once. “that’s nowhere near how i feel, y/n.”

“and how is it that you feel, captain?” you question, refusing to let your tears stop you from standing your ground.

this was it. this was the moment levi would pour his heart out to you. you were a rare jewel who was capable of giving him those pangs in his chest. not everyone could do that, but you sure could without trying or realizing it whatsoever.

“all my life, i thought that there was no point in caring because you’ll lose it eventually, but…” he began to speak, almost tempted to hold back, but he refused to do so any longer. “all i’ve ever been given here is a reason to care, and i didn’t want to show it. i didn’t want anyone to see it, and i wish they could know that i did. i did care, more than what’s possible to express.”

your hardened expression turned soft. to think he didn’t have such feelings made you feel so stupid. it’s easy to judge a book by its cover, isn’t it? but you read levi all wrong. oh so wrong. “you did?”

“i do, even now. that applies to you too, you know.” levi replied without shame.

“i didn’t think it did.” you avert his gaze.

“it’s almost disgraceful to admit how often you cross my mind, y/n.” your eyes widen when those words escape his mouth. was this real life? it seemed too good to be true. levi immediately thought he crossed a line, so he tried to shut the situation down as quickly as he could without ruining this moment. “i’m sorry if that came out weird, i—”

“no, no! it’s not weird!” you swiftly interrupt him. “i… i could say the same thing.”

“you could?” he said in amazement. it was like he was completely oblivious. why else were you always so eager to obey his orders and make sure you never let him down? you wanted him to notice you, and now he has given you his attention in the best way possible.

“yes, which i guess is kind of odd considering this is the first real conversation we’ve ever had.” you say with a faint giggle towards the end. “it’s a shame it had to be under these circumstances, really.”

“i know, and i’d like more, if you do too. it’s not an order, i swear.” levi replied eagerly, which was a pleasant surprise.

“i’d like that, captain.” you grin.

“can i… give you an order though?” he asked with a bit of hesitance.

“seems like poor timing to me, don’t you think?” you question, almost tempted to laugh at him, but you were going to see where this went.

“it’s not. i just… would prefer it if you called me levi from now on, please.” as if this couldn’t get any better. levi was saying “please” to you. god, you loved it.

“okay, levi. now i have an order for you.” you say with a smirk. “have a cup of tea with me, and you’re making it.”

levi smiled at the thought of what he would say next. “right away, y/n.”

© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3