#i realized recently that everything you fight in the Arena is stuff you run into later in the desert | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ilguna · 4 years

Text

Belamour - Chapter Nine (f.o)

summary: they say the odds tend to favor those who need them. well, they were wrong.

warnings; swearing, murder plot

wc; 11.2k

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

Today marks the eighth day of the Hunger Games, you think. If you’ve been keeping track of it correctly, it’s been a week, and today is the eighth day. You’d like to say that the time has flown, but the days feel like they drag on forever. Especially with how hot it’s been during the day. It feels like you’re living through lifetimes in the span of a couple of days.

You should probably clarify that today is the eighth day of the games for you guys. Time typically moves differently inside of the arena, and it’s because the gamemakers are always trying to make something happen. Whether that be fights, or just plain death, it’s all dependent on the circumstances.

All you know is that your brothers and family friends have watched you survive in here, and come close to death three times now. The first one being Horace, the second being the mutts, and the third being the boy from Twelve. Although, you don’t think he counts much, holding you underwater was his own death wish.

Reed and Mox are probably beginning to gain hope on the situation. If you’ve survived an entire week, and managed to form a schedule of sorts, then you should be on track to go home. All you have to do is not fuck up between now and then. Don’t pick too many fights, drink plenty of water and eat more than enough food.

Keep your allies close but your enemies closer.

This morning was eerie. Allio didn’t say a word, mostly made grunting noises when Lennox suggested that him and Allio go out to try and hunt. It’s been three days since the storm, so the animals should be appearing back in the woods, but there’s no promises. If they come back with nothing, you’re going to be sent out to the pond.

As soon as the boys left, you and Trink had a quick conversation about how weird it was. You suggested the fact that he’s probably still mad at you three for yesterday, and she agreed. As soon as it was over, you and her started going through boxes to find any stray food.

She ended up finding one full of food. The cornucopia is normally plentiful with all sorts of stuff, so you weren’t surprised that she found it so quickly. The next thing to do was gather all the garbage and make a trash can of sorts. Already, you’ve thrown out wrappers and old bones.

It isn’t until you’re throwing out a fish’s skeleton, when you realize that it might be possible to make a soup out of these. Like chicken and beef broth, but instead with bones. Then you seem to remember that you never watched your brothers when they made it. You were always either out of the house or doing something in your room.

And the others don’t mind the fish--you could care less about eating it every night--but if you continue to make them eat it, or anything that has to do with it, they’re going to riot. It wouldn’t hurt to at least propose it, so you make note and toss the skeleton into the box.

“Hey, you know what I just thought of?” Trink is sitting in the sand, passing over trash when she finds it.

“What?” you ask, grabbing another handful and throwing it into the box. It looks like that’s the last of it.

You shut the lid on the box, and leave it unlocked, hoping that’ll be a good enough signal to you later that it’s the trash box. If not, the placement of where it is should be good enough for your memory.

“Snares.” she says, “We make snares and set them up in the woods, just so we don’t have to be out there hunting the entire time.”

You nod distantly, thinking it over. It’s not a bad idea. You could catch things overnight and go to grab the animals in the morning, and just reset it, you think. You’ve never had to do something like that before, so it’s more or less a toss up.

“Do you know how to make one?” you ask.

She’s shaking her head, face turning a light shade of red, “No, I was hoping you’d know.”

And your eyebrows are drawing in, “Why?”

“You and Finnick were at the snare station during the training days, remember?”

For a moment, you’re about to deny it all, not being able to recall a single moment like that. It hits you, after that. Sitting at the snare section with the incredibly impressed expert, and how you taught Finnick knots when he asked. It really does feel like years ago, when it was literally two weeks ago.

And the more it comes back to you, the more you seem to realize that you never actually learned any snares. You were more focused on trying to figure out new ways to tie knots, hoping that whatever the expert tried to teach you, you already knew and it would come back to you in that moment.

You fucked up, majorly. You spent an hour or so at that station without spending a single second of actually learning how to tie a snare. A skill that would now help to keep you all from starving. You grit your teeth, because who’s the one person that spent more time at that station after his first alliance was gone? Finnick.

You look over at Trink, shaking your head before the words form on your tongue. She seems to understand, maybe thinking that you don’t remember. Or maybe the change of expression told her that you don’t know how to tie snares at all.

“It’s no big deal.” she says, “I’m looking forward to fish for dinner, anyway. Even if it’s not the greatest, we can rely on it, hopefully.”

“Yeah.” you agree.

It’s only a few minutes later when the boys come back, absolutely nothing in their hands. Lennox tries to offer an apology, but you figured that this would happen. The gamemakers are keeping the animals from supplying the woods, what’s new? After all the shit they’ve thrown your way recently, it’s only customary.

You pack up your things, collect the empty water bottles, and leave for the pond. On the way, you hum a fisherman’s tune and try to recall the actual words to it. There’s a ton of variations to them, and you remember bits and pieces from the original and all the remakes. By the time you reach the pond, you’ve made a frankenstein version of the song.

You grab the fishing pole and then unpack your things, laying it all out. First, you get the water and purify it. You line the canteens up to make sure that they aren’t taking up a huge amount of room inside of the backpack. After that, you dig through the dirt to find a worm, making the situation beneath your nails worse.

At this point, you’re sure that it’s just stained that dark brown color. There’s really no other way to explain it. There’s a baby blue on the top, and a dark brown beneath the bottom. Picking at it has done nothing but aggravate you. So, you sit in tired silence and wait for the fish to bite.

You can imagine that your brothers are picking out everything that you’re doing wrong. Cringing when you choose to do one thing over the other, they’ve probably already found out ways to make your fishing pole better, and are just waiting for you to realize it too. You’ve already considered crackers and stuff like that, but it’ll eventually break off in the water, and you’ll just waste the food.

You wish that you were able to hear them and what they have to say. Beg them for advice on what to do. Allio is just becoming a bigger problem, the more that time goes on. The food is becoming more scarce, it’s hot here during the day and last night the weather plunged terribly, enough to make you grab out a second jacket from a box.

All you want is to survive, and it keeps getting harder the more that the days go on. You wish that the gamemakers weren’t allowed to interfere, and just had to watch from the sidelines. Of course, the games wouldn’t be nearly as interesting but manipulating the weather is unfair.

You pull out the first fish, and go right back in for a second. This one seems to bite only minutes later, faster than the first. You go to place the second fish down, only to find that the first is missing, with no sight of it around you. Your eyes barely manage to catch a quick movement in the bushes, and the knife is in and out of your hand in a flash.

“Shit!” a voice hisses, you jump to your feet, fingers fumbling for the sword to catch the thief before they have a chance to run.

You have the sword raised, prepared for the other tribute to jump at you. And you just barely peer around the bushes, about to swing and end it. But you catch yourself mid-air once you see who it is. His dark, curly hair is so familiar and it catches you off guard almost immediately.

He’s got a knife clutched in his hands, eyes wide and staring up at you. There actually seems to be some wince on his face, like he was fully prepared to accept his fate with the sword. Leave it to him not to even think of defending himself.

“Blaire?” you ask, eyebrows drawing together as you survey the area around him.

You’re looking for Finnick and Thyme, they have to be around here somewhere, right? They’re supposed to be grouped up together, so it would only make sense for them to be traveling together. Then again, you’re with the careers and you came down here by yourself. On the other hand, you wanted it that way.

You find no one around him. Maybe Blaire volunteered to go alone, like you? But that doesn’t make sense, Finnick typically travels with other people, no matter the weather or what they wish. You remember all the times in the rain, and how he’d walk his friends, girls and guys, home after school. Especially the ones that were looking upset.

One more look at Blaire, and you can see that his cheeks have sunken in, no longer as chubby as they were during the week in the Capitol. He’s been starving, and traveling down to look at his hands, it makes sense why he was stealing the fish. He’s hungry.

“Where’s Finnick?” you ask, looking back at him.

A fish in one hand, and a knife in the other. The longer you stare at the knife, the more you recognize it. Again, you’re looking at his face, and the guilty expression seems to set in. There’s only one knife that looks like it, and it’s the exact design of the one that had been stolen out of your backpack.

Good news, you found the thief that took the entirety of the feast from your backpack in the shack. It explains the disappearance of the food and the knife. Bad news, you accused Allio when it had nothing to do with him, which means that there is undoubtedly a bounty placed on your head, and he’s probably explaining it to them right now. It still doesn’t explain the grapes.

A part of you is angry, because Blaire has caused this riff in the alliance whether he knows it or not. And it’ll be nearly impossible to repair without explaining to them how you know that it wasn’t Allio. It would give up Blaire’s position, and how you didn’t kill him on sight. Even worse if he doesn’t shut up in the sky.

On the other hand, you’re fairly impressed. He managed to get passed four sleeping career tributes, steal the food and leave without making a single sound. The timing and execution is amazing, and you know for a fact that you wouldn’t be able to pull off something like that.

Unfortunately, his luck has run out.

Blaire’s shaking his head, the wince from his face fading as you lower your sword. For now, you have absolutely no intention of killing him. He’s too kind, and you know that the stealing was for his own survival. Even if you’re in the Hunger Games, you can appreciate it.

“I don’t know.” he says, you offer your hand out to him, but since his hands are full, he can’t grab it. Your arm falls back to your side.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You haven’t seen him at all? You’re supposed to be with Finnick and Thyme. Don’t you have an idea of where they are?”

He gets to his feet, you can see the damage you did to his leg, now. It’s a nick, enough to surprise him and make him think that you did some serious damage. You find your little knife a few feet away. You pick it up, and await his answer.

“I haven’t seen them at all since the first day. We all split up, I didn’t even know that Verda was going to the cornucopia.” Blaire frowns, “She died in the bloodbath, right?”

You nod quietly, bringing him over to where you had been sitting before by the pond. You throw the hook back into the water, “Yeah, it was a quick death, though. I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t any of us that had done it. Definitely wasn’t me.”

“You’re still with the careers?”

“Yeah.” you look over to him, “What have you been doing this whole time? Other than stealing from us.”

His face flushes, and he opens his mouth and then closes it. He shakes his head, eyes closed and then he looks down to the dirt, “I was hungry.”

“You left nothing.”

“Can you blame me? You guys looked well off, I didn’t see a harm in it at all. And I didn’t leave nothing, I left the crackers and figured that would be good enough. That and the water.” Blaire’s still got a grip on the fish, you have a feeling that you won’t be getting it back.

You pull up another fish, place it on the plastic, and then go right back in again, “We’ve been sharing food. One measly rabbit for four people, it’s not exactly the best. Doesn’t sit right with them.”

He hums, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Take the fish, and a thing of water.” you reach into the bag, pulling out the water bottle you’d used, it’s full of water, “Should be clean.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah. Clean out the cut on your thigh to keep it from being infected.”

You can’t believe that Blaire doesn’t know where they are. So much for a second-hand alliance, none of them are together. Verda’s dead, Blaire is wandering the woods alone, starving. And who knows what’s happened to Finnick and Thyme? It could very well be Blaire’s situation but better or worse, depending on where they are.

You’re so guilty. This isn’t directly your fault, because Finnick had his own alliance so he should have been able to find all of them just fine. But had you… you’re the older tribute, you were supposed to be watching over him. Yet, he’s off somewhere, maybe alone, maybe starving and dehydrated.

Finnick might have broken the agreement on the alliance with the careers, but he’s your friend. Finnick and you have known each other for years. Had you just spent time changing his mind and reassuring him, he might be with you now. You were just so mad that he had turned his back on something so great.

There’s no way of knowing now, if you two could have survived out here. Knowing him, he would’ve wanted to stay away from the cornucopia entirely. Which just means going into the woods with absolutely nothing and banking on sponsors. You know how to do things like start fires, and hunt without all the good stuff, but it just helps.

Then again, you did warn Finnick. You told him that going about this alone or without the careers would be harder. There’s not as many people watching your back. And of course, at some point they’re going to be unreliable and dangerous. But you’ve survived this far, and you’ve only just come across problems.

As far as you know, the games are halfway over. There’s eleven dead, and it’s been a steady flow. In eight more days, the games could be over and you could be going home.

Blaire dips his hand into the water, pulling out a handful of water as he dumps it onto his thigh. His face twists, a hiss coming from his lips. You feel sorry for him, it has to hurt and it’s going to hinder his walking. But it’s what he gets. It’s justice, in your mind.

Doesn’t mean you can’t help him out somewhat. You and Blaire might not have talked to each other for long, but you don’t feel uncomfortable around him. And he seems to be pretty relaxed, too. You wonder if he sees you as a friend directly, or a friend of a friend.

Sticking the fishing pole between your calf and your thigh, you dig through the backpack for the first-aid. You pull it out, and toss it to him, hoping that he knows what he’s doing, and won’t have to ask you for advice. For a moment, you can see him staring out of your peripheral, and then he takes it.

“I really am sorry, (Y/n).”

“It’s fine.” you mutter.

Blaire doesn’t say anything else for a while. He washes out the blood, waits for his calf to dry, and then places a bandage on top of it. When he’s done, he carefully shuts the first aid and holds it out for you. You take it, tuck it back into its spot, and pull up the next fish that comes around.

Three should be good enough. You wrap it all up in the plastic once the newest one is done squirming, and then place the package into the backpack, right next to the water.

Blaire’s watching you closely again. Once you’ve zipped up the bag, you look at him, “Good luck.”

“Won’t you be down here tomorrow?”

“Not if we get something from the woods.”

Blaire looks down to the fish in his hands, “It’s been quiet.”

“We know.” you get up, placing the knife back into its spot on your belt, and then the sword. You throw the fishing pole into the bushes and then turn to look at Blaire, “If I have time, I’ll leave something for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Find a place to stay, Blaire.” you tell him, starting your way back to the cornucopia.

The walk is quiet, Blaire doesn’t follow. You manage to get back before sundown, and your allies have already got a fire started. You all get rid of the scales on the fish, then Lennox gets to cooking.

Allio still says nothing, not even when he’s offered food or if you guys ask if he wants more. Eventually, he gets up without a word and goes to take a walk, leaving just the three of you in the cornucopia. A part of you wants to tell them that you saw Blaire down at the pond, but figure that won’t go over well.

You obviously didn’t kill him, and explaining what happened with the food won’t be the best, either. Even if they were to get on your side, you’re sure that suspicions would start to rise. Unless you lied and said that you tried to kill Blaire and he got away. It would explain why he didn’t die immediately but then it would be a waiting game, and wishing death on him.

And coming clean to Allio, he’ll probably find a way to spin it on you. The two of you have made your distaste for each other clear, and Trink is the same way. The only semi-neutral person in this group anymore is Lennox. And you’re sure that’ll only be a matter of time before he’s turned again Allio, especially with the attitude that he has.

Allio has just come back from the woods, a dead rabbit in his hands and a victorious look on his face, when a cannon blasts. The look almost disappears, changing to confusion. But then he hands off the rabbit to Lennox, and takes a seat in his regular spot.

“Nice catch.” Trink murmurs, but it’s clear you’re all still puzzled about the cannon.

It could be anyone except you guys. Blaire, Finnick, Thyme, you think Mac is still alive and both the tributes from Eight. There’s one more, you’re sure of it, but can’t seem to think of who it is. Six tributes, the possibilities are endless.

Allio opens his mouth, another cannon cuts him off. Two tributes. Two tributes are dead.

You press your lips together. Could be Blaire, could be Finnick and Thyme. Could be Mac and Blaire, or both of the Eight tributes if they were caught off guard. Endless, really. Until you get to see the sky and their faces tonight.

You hope you didn’t call their deaths, Blaire and Finnick. You have the worst type of luck with things like that, pointing out how they could happen and then it happening. It knocks two players out of the game, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t matter.

“Two.” Allio says, as if you all don’t know.

Trink’s pulling her hair out of her face, “Probably a fight between three people.”

You nod along, and Lennox shrugs, “Mutual kill?”

“Isn’t that rare?” Trink asks, “Like I’ve never seen that ever.”

“Probably, I thought that there was one year when it happened, though.” Lennox begins to scoop up the scraps to throw into the trash box, but you’re flying across the small space to stop him, “What?”

“I can use this as bait.” your eyes scan the surrounding area, trying to find something to put it in. The spare canteen bottles come to mind.

After finding one, you pack as much as you can inside, and tuck the can somewhere cold. It’s not going to stay good for long, which means that you’ll have to use as much as possible, and then empty it out to start over. For now, it’ll have to work.

It’s agreed between you guys that it should be an early night. You wait for the death recap in the sky with them, finger crossed for whatever reason. You don’t want it to be anyone you know, but on the other hand, it would be easier. You wouldn’t have to kill them later on, if someone did all the work for you.

The music starts, the blue emblem of the Capitol appearing in the sky. You watch and wait patiently, heart beginning to beat in your chest. It isn’t that big of a deal, you take deep breaths to calm yourself down.

The first face in the sky is the girl from Eight, which immediately knocks out Blaire and Finnick. It leaves two tributes, though. The boy from Eight, and Thyme. Both tributes from Districts Nine and Ten are dead, both of them died during the bloodbath.

“It’s Thyme.” you say, and you really do call it. She’s next to appear in the sky, her district number below her face.

You turn towards an empty space in the sand, writing out initials. T and L for Trink and Lennox, A for Allio, B for Blaire. One for yourself, F for Finnick, M for Mac, and a number eight for the boy from Eight. And then a question mark, because you still can’t recall where the last tribute is from.

Nine tributes left in the game, four of them being you guys, and five being everyone else. It could be two girls left in the game, and it could be three. Which leaves six or seven boys.

You suddenly begin to worry about the alliance, one more death from one of the stray tributes, will mean an even score. You’ve seen this problem happen many times before, the career tributes all turning on each other. That or they split up, and you can’t see that happening without one of you dying.

One of you has to go to keep the alliance intact. You’ve been relying on it for this long, and you’re not about to get killed because of paranoia going on in the group. You quickly rub out the sand, and then look up to the others. There’s a sadistic smile on Allio’s face, and you know immediately. He has to go.

“We’re getting closer and closer.” Allio says, and then his eyes drag over to you.

You don’t like this. You’re the youngest, they’re all older than you by one or two years. To Allio, you’re small and weak, and possibly the most useless one still in the group. But as far as you know, he’s got no kills on his head, and you’ve got four. And you’re sure that Lennox and Trink still think that he’s the one that ate all of his food.

There’s evidence.

It’s obvious. You wonder if he knows this too.

You give them a lighthearted smile, because for now, they’re not going to kill you. They’re going to keep you around, because you’re their only supplier of food right now. You have until the animals begin to show themselves in the woods again. Which could be any day now.

The anthem finalizes loudly, and the outside is dark again. Inside the cornucopia, the fire is still going, still giving off plenty of light.

“I’d say we go out and try our luck with hunting again.” Allio says.

Bad idea, you’re already shaking your head, “Just so we can come right back here in a few days? The arena is huge, you have to know that at this point. We could walk for miles and still find nothing.”

There’s a glare in his eyes, “It’s better than sitting here.”

“I don’t think so. Everyone out there is going to die one way or another, let them kill themselves.”

“And what about us?” Trink asks.

You give her a look, and shrug, “We can’t stay together forever. But we might as well make the best of it.”

They already knew that, but you wonder if they realize that you’re banking on the hope that you all stay together. Allio is upset again, Trink looks like she’s taking what you said into consideration, and Lennox is indifferent.

Lennox keeps the fire going. He says that tomorrow will be Trink’s turn to watch over, and then it’s left to you and Allio to fight it out. Then, you’re all laying down to sleep. Except, it doesn’t come easy tonight.

Nine tributes left in the games. Eight that need to die to make sure that you win. Three of them are allies, one of them a friend from back home, two of them you consider friendly, and two nobodies that you could care less about. You’re almost there. All you have to do is not give up.

You’ve kept your strength this far, what’s a little more?

In the morning, you’re up to relieve Lennox so he can go straight to bed. By the time the sun is higher up in the sky, Allio and Trink are up. You all agree that it would be a good idea for you to go out and fish, because one measly rabbit isn’t going to do much for you four.

You take the backpack with you, and leave without waiting for Lennox to wake up. The others will fill him in, and since they’re awake, they’ll be able to watch over the cornucopia. You just hope that Allio isn’t going to fill their heads with the same thoughts you had last night.

The pond is devoid of Blaire, and it’s quiet. You fish, your thoughts being your only company. And they aren’t very pleasant.

You think that if Allio were to die and the others were to find out that it were you, they wouldn’t be angry. Obviously killing either Trink or Lennox would make the other mad, because that’s their friend from back home. It would be interesting to try and pin it on Allio and see how either of them react, but that could easily backfire. All they’d have to do is think that you’re accusing people too often, and suddenly you’re the odd one out.

And getting rid of Allio would do good, because he’s a boy. And if there are only two to three girls left in the game, it would be nice to even out the playing field a little. Give you, Trink and whoever the other person may or may not be, a good fighting chance.

You’ve done fine against boys so far, but it’s good to have that extra step, anyway.

There’s a crackle of a leaf, which makes you look over. Blaire’s coming through the trees, still looking malnourished, but a lot more energetic today, “Good morning,” he says, and then sits by you without a word.

It would be a lot easier if he knew how to fish for himself. He’s seen where you put the fishing pole, the real thing that he’s missing is the knowledge and a water bottle to reel in the fish. But then again, you don’t want to just hand out information without getting something in return.

“Good morning.”

“Saw the sky last night, right?” he asks, and you nod. The stench of fish coming from the canteen bottle is enough for you to rethink wanting to touch it and use it as bait, “I have a feeling Thyme and Finnick were working together.”

You look over at him, “Yesterday you said you all split.”

“Finnick and Thyme vaguely ran in the same direction. I couldn’t keep up.” he says, “And I haven’t been able to find them since. The arena is huge, (Y/n).”

You nod, “Yeah, we found that out a few days ago.”

Of course Finnick would work with Thyme, it just makes sense. From one companion to another. You wonder if he’s also hurt, or if it was just Thyme that took the damage. They probably brought in the Eight girl somehow, thinking that she’d be an easy kill, but wasn’t. Hurt Thyme pretty badly, Finnick finished Eight off, and then was left to Thyme.

In that case, she could be a mercy kill. They could have been using that tactic this entire time, which means that a handful of deaths could very well belong to them.

“Can I use your water-purify droplets?” he asks, you dig through one of the front pockets to bring it out for him. He thanks you, and then goes right to collecting water. As soon as he’s sat back, you’re pulling out a fish and telling him to take it, “Has there been any drama between you guys yet?”

You look at Blaire, again, and study his face. It looks like genuine curiosity, an innocent question.

He explains himself; “I’m just asking, since all the other times with the games and there being this amount of careers left, drama starts.”

Maybe Blaire has a problem with silence, “Minimal drama, I’m going to take care of it.”

Right after the words leave your mouth, you freeze, fingers still trying to unravel the coil of water. That statement could mean a number of things to him, and everyone back at the Capitol. But talk about giving away an undecided plan. Killing Allio won’t be easy, at all.

Everything has to be perfect. You have until the animals appear, you need a night when you’re taking the shift, and you need to somehow make him look guilty and make sure that he won’t be missed. You know that it’ll be easier, one less mouth to feed, and he won’t be offending you guys each time he opens his mouth.

You almost think his death will be premature, and you should wait until the ‘outsider’ tributes are down a little more. That’s when the thinking stops, because it comes into conflict with your original thought. You don’t want there to be an even playing field, and you don’t want a free-for-all at the cornucopia.

Allio has to go, but you don’t have the timing down just yet.

“Oh,” Blaire says, he probably caught on to the wording, “Right, is it a group thing or…?”

“No.” you say, “I don’t think that the other two will like the idea.” you put some more fish scraps on the end of the hook, and dip it into the water, “But it needs to happen.”

He doesn’t say anything. You fish for another hour before you’re tired, nothing has bitten since Blaire’s fish. He tries to give it up, but you assure him that it’s no big deal, and bid him goodbye, the fishing pole going straight into the bushes. Instead of taking the regular path home, you take a wide arch, hoping that’ll give you more time to find something else to take home.

Lucky for you, a rabbit darts out of the bushes, and the knife lands in the back of its neck. You’re about to say that it’s good enough, until the back of your mind is telling you that you might as well explore. It’s not anywhere near sundown just yet, and if you go back to the cornucopia now, you’ll just sit there with the rest.

And it’s easier to explore alone, you think. There aren't a ton of people trampling over the leaves, breaking sticks and such and leaving an obvious path that you had been there. It looks less daunting, and the other tributes might even consider staying around. One path isn’t a lot. It’s worrying, they might relocate, and they might not.

You use some of the rope to tie the bunny up onto your backpack. It looks funny with how it hangs down, and you’d put it inside of the backpack, wrapped in a sheet of plastic. Except, it’s still bleeding, and it would mess up everything inside. You’d rather the blood get all over the back of your jeans and shoes instead.

If you were standing and facing the mouth of the cornucopia, you’d say that right now, you’re on the right side of it. Roughly where Allio had disappeared off to last night. If you were to go left of the cornucopia, it would just be the coast, nothing good over there.

Out here, on the right side, should be relatively nothing. Especially with how the others have described it. You’ve never actually come over here, yourself. You always figured that there wouldn’t be anything interesting. They say they can’t hear flowing water, and it’s just trees.

So, you figure it’s going to be the same, and that the trip out here is useless, and you’re really just trying to burn time, not wanting to deal with Allio’s attitude. It’s devoid of animals, which makes you think that the gamemakers are slowly giving in to the supply of wild animals again, which is good news.

They were right about the dense forest part. You’ve seen worse in other arenas, but it’s still surprising. Having this many trees on what you think is an island. It smells green out here, too. Healthy trees and plants. Honestly, if there weren’t a coast, you’d just say that this is a regular forest arena.

Those tend to be the trickiest. Having to fight in them is hard. Hiding behind trees may seem comical, but they work better than you think. At some point, if you’re not careful, the trees begin to look the same and you can wander in circles for hours, thinking that you’re going the right way but you aren’t.

It’s even more embarrassing when you finally realize what you had done for the past hour, knowing that the people back home and the entire Capitol just watched you do it like an idiot. You always used to ask, “How hard can it be?” But being out here has opened your eyes. You always knew that the arena was hard, especially with how little the Capitol gives, but it’s just making you even more aware.

The more you wander this way, the more you’re able to see the tall cliff, which is beginning to look more like a mountain with how it peaks. It’s definitely climbable, you know that. Just by judging the incline, though, it’ll be a tiring walk. And for what? A good view? Right.

At some point, you get tired of walking straight, and go diagonal instead. If you get lost, you’ll just follow the beach around until you spot the cornucopia. Easy enough plan. Plus, getting lost won’t be too bad. Unless, of course, the Capitol decides to throw in their own twist with you.

After what you said at the pond, you have a feeling you’ve got them intrigued enough to not jump to do things with you. The Capitol has likely figured out that you meant Allio, and saying that you’ve got it handled means that you’re working alone. You even confirmed it by telling Blaire that the group wouldn’t approve.

He probably caught on too. He’s smart, older than you too. Just like most of the other tributes are, except for the Twelve tributes and Finnick. You don’t know the ages of everyone, just a basic idea of where they’re at. You know for sure that Allio, Trink and Lennox are older than you. There’s no question about that.

There’s a moment, while you’re walking through the trees, you hold your breath to make sure that you don’t hear anyone following you. And then you hear it, and it’s enough for you to look over with wide eyes, and not even hesitate about going over. It’s running water, loud and crashing.

As you move through the trees, you’re careful to make sure that there isn’t anyone over here. It’s uncharted territory for you. As far as you know, this is where all the tributes could be, all hiding out around the same area. It’s out of the distance of the cornucopia, and it’s away from the path you walk everyday to the pond.

It’s smart. If someone chose to stay out here, it’s smart.

Through the trees, you’re able to see the water, sneaking up onto the dirt enough to make it mud. You don’t dare move past the treeline, and even position yourself behind a tree, looking out to the scene in front of you.

It’s a paradise. Further out, there’s a waterfall, and it looks like there’s a running stream out here after all. Around the bank are flowers, there’s lilies and lily pads alike, floating on top of the crystal blue water. With how the sun hits the water, it looks absolutely clear. Clean, cleaner than the pond water.

You think you even catch a glimpse of a fish tail, before it’s disappeared completely. How did the others miss this? You have a hard time believing that their curiosity didn’t get the better of them. Especially the mornings that the boys went to hunt. You know you’d try and take a big track around to try and get the best of what you can.

It’s beautiful over here. And as much as you want to fish, gather better water and just walk into it altogether, you know that there’s something else here. Whether it be a water mutt, or a person. In the arena, everything is too good to be true. If it’s not dirty and clearly falling apart, then it’s gamemaker engineered and there’s something wrong with it.

Even with this thought, your eyes catch a vague movement behind the waterfall. A dark color, maybe an animal? But then it happens again, and you know better. It’s not an animal, not with how upright the figure is. One more movement, and it’s registered in your mind. There’s only one person that you know that would bet on something so delicate and dangerous. And it’s not Blaire.

It has to be Finnick. There’s a cave behind the waterfall, and he found it. Smart.

You have the sudden urge to call his name and wander out, but catch yourself before you act on it. You don’t know that it’s him, it could be another tribute that figured out how to swim or don’t have an insane fear of the water. And second, you don’t know if you’re still on friendly terms with him. Not after what happened.

Yet another secret to keep to yourself. You’re careful to sneak off without making much noise, a little upset that you’ll be missing out on a perfect fishing opportunity. If you had your spear, you’d be able to take out half a dozen fish before you realize that it’s way too much.

At least you know where Finnick--or another tribute--are now. You could easily blame them for Allio’s death if something goes wrong. And then the thought of the fact that you knew that they were alive, but again didn’t kill them, pops in your head. You can’t blame any old tribute for Allio’s death without being incredibly guilty.

You make it back to the cornucopia just fine, finding that there’s already a fire going again, and Trink is taking her turn roasting it. They’re all startled at your approach, reaching for their weapons. They must be used to you approaching from the side and coming around, instead of just walking out in the open.

“No fish, got a rabbit, though.”

“None at all?” Lennox asks, “We had so many yesterday.”

“I tried for hours, found nothing so I wandered around until I spotted this guy.” You free him from your rope and hand him off to Lennox, “It’s better than nothing.”

Lennox gets to work at ripping the rabbit apart. You go ahead and hand out the water, and then take a seat near the fire to keep warm. You can already feel the temperature change, again, the gamemakers are tampering with the weather. To combat this, Trink slides in another couple of sticks, and it’s just a waiting game.

“Who’s watching tonight?” Lennox asks, and he’s looking between you and Allio, because the two of you haven’t taken an overnight shift in a while.

“I’ll take it tonight, Allio can have tomorrow.” You say.

“I’ll take the next two days, since I haven’t been doing much.” He says, and then begins playing with his sword over the fire.

It’s an hour or so before the first rabbit’s meat is thoroughly cooked. You tell Lennox and Trink to share the first one, and you and Allio will get the second. For a moment, Allio doesn’t look that thrilled that you made a decision for him like that. But then he must realize that means that he might eat more, and the expression falls.

After dinner, you all stay up for a little longer, playing stupid games and trying to burn more time. As always, the Capitol symbol appears in the sky, along with the sound of the anthem. But there were no deaths today, so it fades quickly. Only then do the others call it a night.

You position yourself up against a box, the hilt of the sword in your hand. If you haven’t had any trouble up to this point, then there shouldn’t be any tonight, either. Which means that you get to sit around in the cold, watch as the fire slowly dies out, and try to keep yourself awake.

It’s just silence during the night. The only time there’s actual noise is during the day, when the birds and insects are awake. You can faintly hear the sound of waves on the shore, and you don’t even bother trying to hear the waterfall, because it’s too far off.

If you thought staying in the cornucopia was cold, you can’t imagine what it’s like behind the water. The water is freezing, and if it’s a cave, then that means the stone will be cold too. Unless the tribute inside of there thought ahead and somehow built a blanket of leaves to keep them fairly warm.

And the mist from how hard the water is coming down? It’ll make some things wet if it’s too close. The only real solution to that, is if it’s deep in there. Honestly, you thought caves behind waterfalls was a thing for fairytales. Like those stupid books your mom used to read you before bed, back when you were in elementary school.

You listen as the sand shifts, when you look over, it’s Trink rolling over. She’s got her back to you now. Within arm’s reach is her canteen and sword, in the case of an emergency. A few feet away lies Lennox, who sleeps on his back. His things are still by the fire, but with far back he is into the cornucopia, he could just use anything off the wall.

As for Allio, he sleeps on the other side of the fire. Compared to you and Trink, he’s by far the closest person to the mouth of the cornucopia. Easy access for anyone to come around and kill, and just run off into the woods. It’s not possible for you to do the same. It’ll be too suspicious over the fact that you were missing. Especially since you were supposed to be guarding everyone.

Tonight isn’t the night, and you’re not too sure that the next two nights are either. But time is running out, and you need to get to him before another random tribute dies. You need a plan, not something half-assed that could easily be seen through.

At this point in the games, you’re not even sure if that’s possible. Everyone has some sort of paranoia running through their heads. And it’s obvious that it’s gotten to you first. It’s for the right reason, you think. To keep an alliance intact. You could always go out and survive on your own, it’s clear that you can. Just take a backpack and don’t show up at the cornucopia again.

But you’re relying on the other's safety. And they’ll probably know where to go, down to the pond or to the shack to get to you and take you out for keeping them waiting like that. Of course, you could always go somewhere else to hide, but you’re not experienced in the woods.

Blaire might be. The only thing that he’s lacking is actual supply. If you were to team up with him, then you’d have a better chance than just going alone. But it poses the same problem that you’re working with at the moment. Eventually, tensions will rise between you and Blaire. And eventually, if you two somehow manage to be the last two alive, you’ll have to kill each other.

You don’t want to kill Blaire. You’d much rather someone else do it, because you consider him friendly, just like how you consider Mac friendly. It’s obvious why you don’t want to kill Finnick too. So it’s automatically knocking out three of the eight tributes that need to go, to make sure you win.

At the rate you’re all going, you don’t think that Blaire, Finnick or Mac will die by chance. Blaire might not have the same will to live as the rest of you do, but he’s still fighting to stay alive. And a good example of that, is him stealing food, even though it’s dangerous.

Maybe he has a death wish, and he was partly hoping that he’d get caught and immediately killed for it. It would be one way to end his pain, but you’re not entirely sure if that’s the best way to go, leaving your life in someone else’s hands like that. Especially during the Hunger Games, where everything is supposed to be entertaining.

You could beg for a speedy death, but in the end, you’re all just puppets for the Capitol. None of you want to displease them enough to the point where they do something rash. Whether that be another event in the arena that gets you hurt, or something to your family back home.

You too, are a puppet. And it’s exactly why you’re going to make Allio’s death shocking enough to keep the Capitol on the edge of their seats, and better for you.

By the time that dawn breaks, Trink is up. She lets you sleep into the afternoon, and then wakes you up so that you can still make a trip down to the pond for water for all of them. You’re fairly groggy, and spend a good amount of time just making sure that you’re awake enough to do things.

The good news is, there isn’t an immediate need for fish. Lennox and Allio went out to the forest while you were sleeping, and managed to catch a whole pig. The bad news, the animals are reappearing. They’re still scarce, but all that really matters is the fact that they’re there.

You say that tomorrow is your limit.

Blaire is sitting in the shallow end of the pond when you get there. The bandage is gone, but the cut is still on his thigh. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, so you assume that it's feeling better today. Before he can even ask, you toss over the iodine droplets.

“Thanks. For a while I thought that you weren’t going to show up.” He says.

“Took the night shift, I got to sleep in.” You throw the hook in, and resist the urge to yawn.

Unlike the boys, you’re pretty capable of staying up throughout the night. The only person that really gets a pass is Lennox, because he’s taking the most of them. He probably realized that the other day, and it’s why he’s pawned off the nights onto you guys. Although, to be fair, you’re pretty sure he was taking it until the difference between you and Trink and Allio was settled.

“I was thinking about what you said yesterday,” Blaire starts, but doesn’t continue past that.

Looking at him, you’re expecting him to pick up once he realizes that he’s got your full attention, you’re wrong, “About what exactly?”

He looks up from his water bottle, tossing the iodine back your way. You catch it easily, and he begins to shake the water, “Taking care of your problem--or the problem, I should say. Don’t you think that could get you killed?”

“Everything in the arena could get me killed.” you say, there’s a tug at the wire, you reel it in, “No matter what I do, I’m always putting myself into trouble. I come down here alone, I continue to feed you, I create plans and keep secrets and try to stay off my allies’ radar. It’s the same for you. Sooner or later, we’re going to get killed or be the ones that kill.”

“Not me.” Blaire says, taking the fish from you, and then watching you pack up your things, “Shouldn’t you keep going?”

“Friends caught a pig. I’m mostly down here to plot, but you’re here.” you look at him, motioning to the fish with one hand while you block the sun with the other, “Take it, it’s yours.”

“I could leave.”

“What you do, is your own free will.” you say.

Blaire sits down right next to you, pulls his shoes off and then places his feet in the water. He starts taking the scales off the fish, you want to warn him about the dangers of the water, how deep it is and you’re not entirely sure what lies in there. But decide you’ll let him figure that out for himself.

“Tell me your plan.”

You can’t stop the laugh that sputters out of you, loud and long. Blaire was expecting this, there’s a small smile on his face, and he waits patiently for you to stop. Even a couple minutes later, you’re still giggling at the idea. Telling Blaire your plan to kill Allio? And for what? You’ll give away everything about the situation.

“Fat chance.”

“You act like I’m going to work against you.” Blaire says, and you’ve still got a funny smile on your face, “(Y/n), I’m in your debt. Plenty of times now.”

“Why? Just because I fed you? As if that’s even a reason.” you roll your eyes, “It’s charity work.”

“You could have killed me by now. Or brought your alliance down and had them do the job.” Blaire says, “Or not shown up and let me starve.”

“You’re caught up in what-if’s, none of those are real reasons.” you say, and the second that the words leave, you want to take them back. Because they are real reasons, you’ve been smuggling this boy for days.

Back home, you know some other poor family would try and repay you. It’s just how it works. You could do something nice like give one of Naida’s boys an old pair of Reed or Mox’s shoes, and she’d be insisting on making dinner for you all for at least two nights. All of it would be on her.

And there was one day, something like that actually happened. It wasn’t for one of her boys, it was actually for the youngest girl, Windy. She’s older now, six or seven, you can’t remember exactly. But it was just after your dad had died, and your brothers and you were in a deep hole.

Reed was illegally fishing, Mox was desperate with his studies, and applying for jobs at the local stores around, but no one was falling through. Naida knew that the four of you were struggling, and scrambling to sell things to stay afloat. A lot of the things that you were selling were old dresses that Alyssum wouldn’t be needing for a long time.

Windy had some important event at preschool, and Naida didn’t want her to look dirty and poor. She was completely missing clothes for Windy, because she’d sold Calandra’s baby clothes a long ass time ago. And even worse, she was scraping by on rent that month, she wouldn’t be able to afford nice clothing.

You found some old dress in the plastic bin beneath your bed. Clearly expensive, and looking almost brand new. You knew that it would go for a lot at the Square. Even the richest families sometimes go down there to get a good deal on things. And if the Square wouldn’t have worked--you doubt it wouldn’t have--you were going to head down to the seamstress.

You didn’t even ask Reed or Mox if it was okay, didn’t even consider the fact that Alyssum would need something like that in a few years. You found an old shoe box in the boys’ closet, and then some ribbon off of a doll from your room. You tied the box up nicely, with some wonky ass bow on the top. And took your ass right over to Naida’s.

The dress was easily a month’s worth of rent, maybe more. But you knocked on the door, Naida answered, and you handed off the dress, saying, “I heard Windy needs something nice for her school thing. Hope you guys have fun.” and left Naida at the house.

Later that day, when your brother’s were coming back from what they did during the day, Naida stopped them on the porch. In no time, she was crying, and absolutely crazed because she thought you’d spent a ton of money on a dress that you couldn’t even afford. But Reed recognized the dress, reassuring her that it would be a hand-me-down. Even then, Naida didn’t want to accept it.

They didn’t give her a choice either. Said basically the same thing that you did. When they came into the house, they found you doing your math homework at the dining room table. You’ve seen Reed proud many, many times, but the look on his face is one you’ll remember forever. You did a good job.

Naida’s way of paying you all back, was the free babysitting for all of you. Taking Alyssum in during the day while you and Mox went to school, allowing Reed more hours for the illegal fishing. And even after he became a legal adult, she continued on with it. She definitely knows that she’s paid it over so many times by now, but chooses to do it still.

Anyway, Blaire might be thinking the same thing. But instead of a dress, it’s his life. Something that is so temporary in the Hunger Games, and even dangerous. You’re risking your life by saving his. You’re putting trust into him not killing you by continuing to do this.

And the one way he wants to pay you back is by listening and giving advice. You don’t know if Blaire has grown up in the poor part of District Three, or if you’re just overthinking all of this. But it’s what makes the most sense to you. You said it yourself yesterday too, that Blaire is not only older, but smarter. He’s got at least two to three years on you.

“There’s nine tributes left in the arena.” you begin, making him look over, “And I’m worried that as soon as it hits eight, my alliance will break up, and I want to keep it together for as long as possible. It’s nice having people watch over my back, knowing that they’ll protect me. And they’re not all that bad, either.

“Allio, the boy from Two, has been causing trouble between all of us, except for Lennox, the boy from One. Of course, last week you took our entire sponsor gift, and I honestly thought it was Allio, and so did Trink and Lennox.” you stare at Blaire, “They still think that it’s him, as far as I know.

“I would get rid of Lennox or Trink, except they’re friends, they’ve known each other for a while. If one goes, the other’s sure to go crazy, so I figured that Allio would be my best bet, anyway. The only problem I’m having is how to get it done. It has to be tonight or tomorrow, because I don’t want someone to die before we get there. And I don’t want the animals to reappear in the trees.”

Blaire nods, thinking this over. He’s quiet for a long time, staring down at his fish. You think he’s just as stumped as you are, and then he speaks, “You can’t ask the others to help you kill him?”

“They think I’ve only killed one person, and I’m not trying to come off as aggressive. I only blew some of it when I told Allio that I hated him, just like Trink seemed to. So, I bet I’ll already be suspected.”

“Could always say that it was some random tribute.”

“That’s what I was thinking, except there isn’t anyone around the cornucopia.” you say, ignoring the waterfall tribute. They’re not as important, they're too far away. Once again, if it’s Finnick, you don’t want to give him away to the others. You wouldn’t be killing him with your own hands, but you’d lead them right to him. It’s good enough.

“You guys explored around the area?”

“More or less.”

Blaire hums, “You said something about the night shift, who’s taking the next one?”

You look over, “Allio said he’d take the next two nights.”

“Oh, then that’s easy. If he falls asleep during the night, just get him then.” Blaire says, “And then find some outlet, like sleeping or whatever.”

You hold your breath, trying to picture it. In this case, doing it tonight would be suspicious, since you’d finally get him alone for once--or ‘alone’. The others will still be there, just unconscious. You could kill him while he’s asleep, and then quickly lay back down. As for the blood knife, there’s a box that you could probably slip it under.

There’s only one problem, the one that’s nearly impossible to get around.

“What about the cannon?”

Blaire huffs out a laugh, “Guess you’ll just have to move quickly and make sure you aren’t breathing heavily. Turn your back to them or something. You can’t over sell it either, so pretending to sleep through the cannon might be cheesy. Or, it might be realistic, I don’t know.”

Allio sleeps on the other side of the cornucopia, opposite to you, closest to the mouth. Unfortunately, another obstacle is going to be the lit fire, but there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t control the weather, the gamemakers can. And it’s going to be impossible to get them to just make it warm tomorrow night. Unless they come to the conclusion by themselves.

You stare into the water, almost losing yourself in your thoughts, when you see it. A dark motion, bigger than any fish, “Get out of the water, now.”

You push yourself to your feet, throwing the backpack away. When Blaire doesn’t move fast enough, you grab the back of his hood with both hands, pulling him out of the water and a couple inches away. He’s got it now, coughing because of how hard you were on the hood.

The black mass is towards the top now, just beneath the surface. You watch the bubbles appear, and pop. One of them lands on Blaire’s bare foot, and he hisses, backing up some more. You watch as his skin turns a shade of pink first, and then deeper to red.

You wonder if the water was hot, or if it’s poison.

Does it really matter?

You grab the water bottle that’s hanging out of Blaire’s back pocket, uncapping it, and then dumping it out, still staring at the water. No matter how much iodine you put into this, it’s not going to be clean. And it doesn’t matter that he grabbed it from the shallow end, either. Whatever is in the water can contaminated it.

“Here.” you say, placing it in his hand, and then moving on to your bag.

You pull each canteen out and dump them out, watching as the water runs downhill and back into the pond.

“Do you think that the fish is bad?” he asks.

You look over, he’s holding it out for you to see. You don’t spot anything abnormal with it, but you didn’t see anything wrong with the water initially, either, or the pond.

“Toss it in.” you shove everything back into the backpack, and attach the fishing pole to your backpack, “I know another place.”

Blaire follows what you said, tossing it into the water, and pulling on his socks and shoes after. You lead him around in a wide arch, exaggerating the path you took the other day. He doesn’t question you at all.

This walk is much faster than the first one, but the moment you hear the waterfall, you get a bit hesitant. You still lead Blaire through the trees, heading right towards the crystal blue water, but watching to make sure there’s no one there just yet. You’d like to give them a chance to leave.

There is no one, and there is no movement on the other side of the waterfall. Once Blaire sees what you’ve led him to, he gasps slightly, “Wow.”

“Yeah, I know. We shouldn’t be here for too long.” you glance behind you, there’s no one. If Blaire can sneak around you guys quietly, it’s no question that others might be able to do the same, “You watch out for anyone.”

“You don’t like it over here.” he says, it’s not a question.

“We’re invading someone’s space.” is all you say, “Fill up the canteens, I’ll get you something to eat.”

Blaire sits down, unfastens your fishing pole, and offers it to you. You shake your head, pulling off your shoes, and then your socks, and you roll up your jeans as far as they’ll go. After that, you pull your sword into your hand, and carefully wade into the water, watching for anything unnatural.

That was definitely a mutt in the pond, as always, gamemaker generated. It’s a wonder if it appeared because they made the creature come out, or because the fish that you caught made them appear. Either way, you couldn’t see it coming. You knew that the water was deep, but you didn’t know what else would be in it.

There’s a great chance that the gamemakers made the mutt appear to push you away and make you think of another place to go. Whether that be deeper in the forest, or over here. You need to work quickly, get Blaire his fish and tell him to go back to where his camp is, wherever that may be.

Your eyes travel back to the waterfall, still no movement. The tenant might be out, another reason why the gamemakers pushed you this way, to purposely cause conflict. If it’s Finnick, though, you think he won’t attack. And if he does, he’ll just leave Blaire out of it, since Blaire’s supposed to be his ally, anyway.

You feel something brush by your foot, and it’s enough for you to jump out of your skin. It’s a fish, curious and bold of what’s joined it in the water. You’re still, and stare at it, waiting for it to come back around. And when it does, you slam the sword into it, staining the blood a temporary pink.

“You should go back to your camp.” you tell Blaire, moving out of the water now, “Don’t stay over here. I’ll meet you back at the pond tomorrow, and we can take the walk around back over here.”

“Sure.” Blaire says, taking the fish off the end of your sword, “Thank you, again.”

Blaire must think that he’ll never stop being in your debt, and you’re afraid of that, too. The list keeps getting longer and longer. Eventually, he’s going to try and find something to pay you back with.

“I cleaned the water.” he says, “It’s all nice in there.”

“Thanks.” you dry your feet on your jacket, pulling on your socks and shoes before you unroll your pants. You sling the backpack over your shoulder, drying the blade on your jeans.

Blaire’s ready to go, too. He assures you that he’ll know the way back, and the two of you split. The entire walk to the cornucopia, you feel awful. Almost afraid that someone is following you back. You check several times, and of course, there’s no one there.

The second you’re out of the trees, the feeling subsides.

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair lacuna #lacuna

64 notes · View notes

write-like-you-mean-it · 4 years

Text

A Hunter’s Prey: Flowing Out like a Current

While lying on the too empty bed, a groan escaped my lips. Calling Milluki is a hell that I didn’t want to experience. Out of everyone else, he’d have the information that I needed. I took out the phone and dialed the home number.

A butler’s voice answered from the other end of the line. This time it was a woman. Usually it was a man who answered the phone. “Hello, Zoldyck residence speaking.”

“Hi, this is Illumi’s fiance,” I said. “I was wondering if you would be able to put me through to Milluki. I’m on a mission and need some guidance.”

There was a short pause before the response, “yes, one second.” The phone clicked over to another line.

“Who is bothering me this late into the night?” shouted Milluki. “You should know this is time for me and my woman.”

“Milluki,” I sigh while my head rests firmly into my hands. On the other side of the screen, I could hear a woman’s voice talking. It was so high pitched and fake that the sound almost made me gag. “This is Y/N. I need your help with something.”

A muffled gasp came across the line which was followed shortly by keystrokes being pounded into the computer. “I’m so sorry M’lady. I hadn’t meant anything by my statements. The butler told me it was my brother on the line. Not your beautiful voice.”

I massaged my temples as the feeling of the throbbing headache started to take over my body. “It's alright. I need you to tell me everything you know about Gon Freecss.”

There were a few more clicks of the keyboard before the girl's voice shut off. “Anything for you. It will only take a second, princess.” A cold shiver ran down my body with the pet name. If I weren’t desperate, I would’ve hung up right then and there; however, he was the only Zoldyck in my arsenal.

“Gon Freecss,” said the voice from the other end. Somehow, it sounded more out of breath than before. Maybe this was the first time actually talking to a girl that wasn’t related to him. “He’s the son of Ging Freecss who has an impeccable track record for a Hunter; terrible record for being a good father. Gon is Killua’s friend. He passed the Hunter exam a few years ago. Him and Kill fought at Heaven Arena recently. His talent is called Jajanken which seems to be like rock, paper, scissors. He was recently part of the Chimera Ant Extermination Team. He was injured while fighting and was in the hospital for awhile. Now he resides at Whale Island with his aunt and grandma. That is all that I could find, princess.”

A small gag couldn’t have been helped. “Thank you Milluki,” I sighed. “Is there anything else that you could tell me? Are you sure that’s it?”

“I can look for more. Why do you need to know this? Is Illumi pushing you too hard? YOu can always come back to me. I’ll treat you well.”

The longer I was on the phone, the more bile rose in my throat. As much as I wanted to scream misogyny against this perverted soon-to-be brother-in-law, I had to keep him on my side. It’s a disgusting balance between morals and obligation. “Thank you, Milluki,” I repeated. “If you find anything else, please call me. Only call me for those details. I’m undercover so answering things will be hard.”

“Be safe, my love,” purred Milluki. “Come back to me whenever Illumi betrays you. I’ll be-” Click. If I’d listen to any more of his dribble, I was going to be sick. My arm cascaded back to the bed as a sign of defeat. There must be more about this boy if Illumi would tell me to see him specifically. A nice sleep will become my only solace in this mind game of my life.

-------------------------

I awoke later than expected. Sleeping had felt like a chore before. It was an end to a mean. Last night, it was hard to fall asleep. I’d been surrounded by someone else for the past few months so that the lack of people made me anxious.

My mind was still groggy from tossing and turning throughout the night. A cup of coffee and a warm shower should ease the throbbing head and aching muscles. Water cascading down my spine felt like a dip into my peace. A calming sensation washed over me with every inch of water. Once I got out, I felt refreshed and new. Only the cup of coffee and I’d be like myself again.

I changed into a different pair of clothes before meeting the small boy from before. He said to go to the marketplace so that is where I will be until he returns. A single step outside the hotel showed the marketplace. The courtyard turned from a desolate wasteland to a thriving, bustling town. People shouted and called their wares for sale. A lot of fishermen’s wives were selling fish caught in the morning tides while their husbands stayed out late.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw the little boy running around the shops. He seemed to be looking for something. His eyes fell onto a small candy stall where he bought a piece.

“Gon,” I called while waving my hand in the air. The boy turned to look at me as his eyes narrowed.

“Hi,” she says while walking up to me.

“Follow me. We’re gonna get away from people.” I cocked my head before following the small boy away from the group of people. He led me to a ridge of the mountain top that overlooked the ocean.

The ocean was a beautiful shade of deep blue in the cascading sunlight. Only a glimpse of the lighter shades would appear when the current washed over the sides. The pushing and pull of the current was transfixing.

“Why do you want to meet Killua?” asked Gon. He was getting straight to the point. He was intimidating for as young as he was. I could see deep within his eyes that there was a caution to his tone that was not there for long.

“To be honest,” I sigh while taking a seat on the cliff edge. “I don't know. Actually, Illumi told me to stay far away from Killua. I was only to find you.”

“Huh?” he asked while sitting next to me. “Why were you looking for me?”

“To see where Killua is.”

“I’m not going to tell you. He’s too important to me. Plus you’re with Illumi.”

“Well I’m with him but not physically. He’s gone for awhile and I have no way to contact him.” The crashing sound of waves became the intermediate sound between our voices. “He’s gone on a mission.”

“Killua doesn’t want to be like Illumi,” said Gon. “He doesn’t want to be like his family at all.”

I turn to look at Gon’s stoic face as he stares across the ocean. But if he is to be the heir of the household, how can he not want to be an assassin? “Interesting,” I sigh while kicking a small rock off the cliff side. “Gon, what happened? I heard you were involved in an accident. Are you alright now?”

A brief pause filled the hot air. This pause was different than when with Illumi. Gon’s pause held more desperation and sadness than Illumi’s.

“I got hurt because I was too strong. If it wasn’t for Killua, I wouldn't be here. That is why I have to protect him.”

“So, Killua means the world to you?”

“Yes.”

“He sounds like a good friend. I recently almost saw my best friend die. A few of my other ones did. It changes a person. If it wasn’t for Illumi, I would’ve been dead.”

“Illumi?”

“Yeah. Hisoka would’ve killed me.”

Gon’s face turned to look at me. His stoic demour paused for a second to see the child-like wonder held deep within his eyes. “You almost died by Hisoka? Why didn’t he kill you?”

“Long story, kid,” I sigh while watching the water once again. “Did you hear what happened in Heaven’s Arena the other night?”

“No. Aunt Mito told me that I have to finish my homework instead. I’m lucky that she let me meet you. Normally I’d be doing my chores about now.”

“If you need help with them, I’d gladly help. I have to make up with you missing part of your day talking with me.”

“Thanks! That’d be really nice of you.” For the first time, I saw him smile. “But what happened at Heaven’s Arena?”

“Oh. Hisoka versus Chrollo battle. Hisoka lost and went on a rampage against the troupe. Which is why I’m worried for Illumi and Machi. He’s already killed-” Tears filled my eyes but I refused to let them drop. “He killed Shalnark and Kortopi. His goal is to kill the rest.”

“Wow. Hisoka lost a battle. I’ve never even seen him get close to losing. I was only able to punch him in the face.”

“You battled that lunatic?” I questioned.

“Only because he challenged me,” said the hyper boy. “I could only become a Hunter if I was able to hit him in the face.

“Was that one of the rules? Truly, I’m new to all this stuff. Being a Hunter was never my top priority so I never took the test.”

“This was after the test. We had to learn Nen to get to the 200th floor. We were able to train while fighting. It was so cool. I was able to-”

My thoughts shifted to the battle once again. All the chaotic elements mixed together. It must’ve been a different battle than the one I witnessed. I doubt he would have battled this child to death. Why would Illumi want to be friends with a monster that would hurt a child?

“-So do you know Nen?” I realized that Gon was still talking as I finally came back to reality.

“Yes I do. I’m not that great at it yet. How about you?”

Sadness filled his eyes once again. “Yeah. I learned about it. But because of the accident, I can’t use it at the moment. That doesn’t mean I won’t try. I just have to figure out how to get it flowing again.”

A thought popped into my head. “Gon, you know Nen well, right?”

“I wouldn’t say well. I still get confused with the harder stuff.”

“How about I show that I’m trustful while you train me? That way you can practice Nen even when you don’t have it and I can learn more.”

“Okay! I haven’t had a student before!” With that, I could see excitement once again fill his eyes.

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Full Masterlist

#illumi #illumi zoldyck #illumi x reader #HunterXHunter #hxh #a hunter's prey #chapter 34

16 notes · View notes

muteashes · 4 years

Text

Warthog had just started inspection when he rounded the corner of his jet and almost fell over a short being who had appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

“What the fr-” Warthog cut himself off. On the other side of the neighboring parked ship Tracer’s head peaked over curiously.

“You stole our secret spot,” the small child accused him with a scowl. He was young, a human like race that Warthog was not able to immediately identify. The kid threw his shoulders back as if making himself seem a little bigger on his already tiny body would somehow make him intimidating.

“I didn’t steal anything,” Warthog automatically denied. Then, “A secret spot?” The kid kept scowling and gestured at the whole of the hangar that the GAR has recently acquired for use. Feeling somehow more awkward as he grasped for protocol, “Shouldn’t you be with a parent figure?” He recalled something about guardians and parents at one point during cultural flash training. He’s lucky they never actually graded for that stuff, he had spent the entire lesson watching holovids of aerial combat maneuvers instead. He wasn’t meant to deal with civvies, he was the air support, never grounded if he could help it.

The kid hesitated, looking over his shoulder momentarily, before mustering himself, “I ask the questions!” Warthog looked behind the kid. There was a squeak, a shadowy blob hidden behind a wheel shuffled backwards. Off on his wing Tracer dropped in. He looked too charmed by the unwanted quests. Warthog knew he would be no help.

“What’s the questions?” Warthog gave in and asked.

“We want our spot back,” the kid demanded.

“That is not a question,” Warthog advised. The kid narrowed his eyes. Familiar with this tactic apparently.

“Can we have our spot back?” the kid tried again.

“No,” Warthog only felt a little bad saying. With a huff the kid marched forward, kicked Warthog in the shin and took off running. Several children scattering after him.

“Little monster,” Warthog hissed, hopping on one foot.

“Looks like you made a friend,” Tracer laughed.

At mess Warthog found another one. Sitting with Sinker and Boost at one of the booths in the officer’s corner was a small girl. Warthog stopped as he passed.

“Are we being invaded?” Warthog asked. “Sir,” He offered belatedly when Boost smirked. He didn’t realize what Sinker was doing till it was too late, and watched in horror as he snagged the cake on Warthog’s tray and slid it in front of the kid. That was his weekly desert ration. He had been hoarding it for when he knew one of the outside vendors would be on rotation for mess. It wasn’t GAR issued tasteless grub, one of the few times Warthog had managed to get anything half way decent in months and Sinker had taken it.

“Thank you,” She said politely with a lisp. Pulling in closer so her little arms could reach. She stabbed the whole thing with a fork and tried to pick it up that way. The cake broke in half. Warthog found himself staring at the crumbs that dropped onto the table.

“Are we?” Sinker asked the girl. She nodded up at him energetically. Swinging her legs so they kicked the chair across from her. Her feet didn’t even hit the floor. She smiled, open mouthed delighted with seemingly everything. She was missing a fang.

“Sanya says if we want our secret spot back we need to fight for it,” she beamed, “She said we can only tell you our name and dedication.” It sounded like someone had been watching too many of those holonet dramas Warthog had stumbled upon back when he was still in training.

“It’s designation,” Boost corrected her.

“Oh,” She said, face scrunched up for a second before deciding, “I’m in preschool.”

Sinker laughed.

P53185 was a small planet that never even got a name beyond its interstellar designation code. The local farming community just called it P-5 when they were asked, and said it was as good as a name as any. The towns had name. Planets were planets. Warthog had stared straight ahead and let Commander Wolffe handle that one.

This was also apparently the quietest front in the war. They had been there a tenday, not a single active encounter. Or even hint of an encounter. As far as he could tell, there was no reason to be here. Worst off, Warthog was starting to believe the accumulative lack of action would lead to him falling behind on his required flight hours. Which was all the excuse any of them needed to run simulations against each other in a dirty, cheating tournament.

Once, flying against several others on a race course, Commander Wolffe had missed the signal turn. So he flipped his sim around and rammed the lead as they looped around for another lap. He took out half the others before his ship was declared dead. Warthog, who greatly admired his commander, took notes. No other company had such efficient command staff. Eat that, 212th.

When Warthog was proving, yet again, that Tracer was a ridiculous nerf-herder who could barely make his way through a combat scenario when a voice cracking howl dropped on them.

They all looked up at the top of the freight trailers hauled in to surround the staged arena and there, legs braced and clearly ready for battle, stood the small child from earlier. Arms swinging about overhead, they held a stick with a coat tied to it. On the coat, rippling in the wind as the kid waved it viciously, was what looked like some sort of round four footed animal and illegible aurebesh. To Warthog’s nine o’clock another kid came running around the corner, holding the GAR battalion flag, and took off out the hangar doors. The kid on top of the trailer shoved his flag down so it staid upright and ran after his gang.

One of the scouts lunged after him and somehow missed when the kid swung around the pole of LAAT fuel line. Warthog leveled his sim and shot Tracer’s engine while Tracer stared in the direction the kids had streamed. The big screen displaying the scenario flashed several times in a flashy explosion before announcing Warthog as the winner.

“Anyone have an idea what just happened in my hangar,” Wolffe sounded more curious then anything as the silence settled in.

“You have a betrayer,” The kid who started this all said when Warthog almost walked over him again.

“Fraking nerf-tail,” Warthog bit out. It somehow didn’t feel as satisfying as actually cursing did. “Where are you popping up from? Is it the shinies, are they letting you in?”

“What’s a shiney?” The kid asked.

“You are, little nugget,” Tracer said with a delighted smile.

“My name is Mylo,” the little nugget said sullenly.

“I’m Warthog,” Warthog exchanged. The kid made a face, unimpressed.

“You said someone betrayed us?” Tracer prompted.

“He gave us stunners,” The kid said instead. Warthog felt his insides shrivel. That did not sound like something that was a good idea. He imagined a herd of cadet-shinies with stun guns. Utter disaster. It also kind of reminded him of the scenario Sinker liked to run with the shinies with paint guns and open orders to take down everything that moved. Warthog reviewed that thought for a moment. That stinking traitorous Sargent.

“Was it Sinker?” Warthog demanded. The kid scrunched his face and thought about it.

“He was old,” the kid shrugged finally. Tracer snorted.

“Don’t tell him that,” he suggested. “Thanks for telling us, Mylo.”

“It was only fair I switched sides too,” The kid told him. His little face very serious. Warthog hadn’t realized they were recruiting. Then, equally serious, “Can I have a grenade?”

#tcw #warthog #i have been posting everywhere but here lol i shall fix that #Commander Wolffe

14 notes · View notes

nightqueendany · 5 years

Text

Original Final Season 7 - Episode 8: Protectors of the Realm

As with last episode, this episode takes place entirely in King’s Landing and entirely at Night because again, the Long Night is not just ONE night!

Also, this episode has quite a bit of exposition but you will see why. Sorry not sorry.

In the Dragonpit

(which looks like the actual Dragonpit described in the books atop Rhaenys’ Hill [above], not just some repurposed gladiator arena *shakes head, rolls eyes*)

Team Stark/Targaryen prep for battle against the Night King, it’s decided the majority of non-fighters will be holed up in the Dragonpit as it’s the most strategically placed dwelling in the city other than the Red Keep. Bran will be in the pit as well.

Jon and Dany plan to be on the dragons protecting the Dragonpit (as they were supposed to be by the Godswood protecting Bran) - they can’t let the Night King/AOTD get to the Dragonpit, can’t let all those people die/turn and can’t let the Night King get to Bran - he’s the only one with the power to potentially defeat the Night King, **more on this in a bit**

While prepping in the Dragonpit (seeing the structure refortified, non-fighters of the city making their way in, passing out meals and blankets etc.), Dany can’t hold the truth from Jon any longer. She loves him and knows he wants to marry her but she can’t let him do so without knowing the truth - she’s infertile. Jon doesn’t believe it but if it’s true, it doesn’t matter to him, he loves her and knows what’s best for their people, all their people, is for them to join the Kingdoms once more through marriage in order to protect everyone.

They discuss logistics, who to tell of Jon’s parentage? He wants to tell his family but no one else matters

In the Red Keep

Team Stark/Targaryen periodically sends messengers to the Red Keep to inform Cersei of battle prep but the messengers keep coming back saying the Queen refused to see them

In reality, Qyburn is intercepting all correspondences for Cersei, feeding her lies about what is happening in the city

Cersei and Euron (who’s finally back from Dragonstone) are insistent about the wildfire under the city being a “last resort” - Qyburn assures them he’s planned for this and that Team Stark/Targaryen will be none the wiser.

Euron attempts to persuade Cersei to take shelter on his ship during the battle, but Cersei refuses, her place is the Red Keep, she’s not going anywhere.

On the Street of Steel

Gendry gives Arya the weapon that he made for her.

Soon after, Bran finds Arya, indicates her new weapon, and tells her she won’t need it. Arya is upset, she’s a warrior, she always has been, she should be outside fighting. Bran again reiterates that Arya must be a different kind of warrior for the fight against the dead, it’s what she’s trained for her whole life.

Arya, knowing she won’t be able to use the weapon Gendry made her, gives the weapon to Sansa who insists she be on the walls of the pit to defend it, with the rest of her people. Arya tells Sansa she won’t leave her side and Gendry and Theon say they will be at Sansa’s side too.

Plans for the Future

Once amongst a small group of their advisors and family, Jon and Dany announce that they will be married before the Battle for the Dawn. They have a few days, they don’t know what will happen during the battle to either of them, and they want the Seven Kingdoms united officially before then

Baelish and Varys obviously love this idea and they finally broach the topic of who they should name their heir, in the unfortunate event that they both die fighting the Night King. Jon, Dany, Melisandre and Bran look at Baelish and Varys suspiciously, but do nothing. They’ll think on it and tell everyone they will name an heir after the wedding, before the battle.

Because there are no weirwoods in King’s Landing and no septons either, Melisandre offers to officiate the ceremony. Dany finds this particularly appropriate as she was the one to bring Jon back from the dead.

Varys is clearly uncomfortable with this but says nothing

Okay, now that wedding stuff is settled, they need to plan for the upcoming fight against the dead...

Battle Plans

Jon speaks first and asks the one question on everyone’s minds, the only thing that matters really: How do you defeat the Night King?

Bran explains that when the Night King falls, the rest of the dead will fall with him. However, not all the dead were created by the Night King, so to make the battle easier, they have to go for the White Walkers - only three substances are known to kill White Walkers: Valyrian Steel, Dragonglass...and direwolf teeth.

Yes, Arya’s role in the battle finally has a purpose. Arya will warg Nymeria’s pack to find and take out all the Walkers so the living stand a chance against the dead - because even with all their armies pulled together, the dead still outnumber them.

Going back to the Night King, what does he want? How can he be destroyed?

Bran explains the NK was created by the COTF to defend themselves against the First Men. Sam and Missandei jump in, filling in gaps for Bran when they can. From what they can all tell from the symbols of the COTF, the histories in the different books they’ve read/skimmed through, and different visions of the past, the NK’s purpose was to destroy mankind for their wicked and violent ways, and the Children as well for making him. Only once the Men and Children put aside their differences and teamed up against the White Walkers did the dead retreat to the far North, aka The Pact.

So what went wrong, why is the NK back? Sandor Clegane chimes in. It’s simple. Man broke their promise. They went back to being at constant war. Violence is a disease. The Night King’s there to “cure” them. Beric asks Sandor who told him about violence being a disease. Sandor simply, sadly answers, “A friend.”

Missandei chimes in again. From what she was reading in one of the Targ history books she came across at Summerhall, it’s suggested that that’s why Aegon the Conqueror came to Westeros. He wanted to unite the realm to stop Winter from Coming.

Sansa wonders why the Stark words, the Starks aren’t the enemy. No. They’re not. The Stark words were always a warning, passed down through generations of what would happen if Man broke their promise. The meaning was just forgotten.

Alright, so they know what the Night King’s purpose is. But Jon gets everyone back on track to the matter at hand: How. Do. We. Kill. Him? Arya looks at Bran hopefully but no, direwolf teeth, dragonglass, Valyrian Steel, dragon fire...none of it will work on its own. On its own? everyone asks. Bran has an idea, but as it’s never been done before, he’s not sure it will work. Bran believes he’s got to warg the Night King from the past to make him vulnerable in the present - as he did to Hodor.

Will this kill Bran? the Starks ask, concerned for their little brother. Bran doesn’t know, but if it does, it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make for the good of mankind. Jon doesn’t want to accept this, there must be another way, Bran tells him there isn’t, Jon leaves the meeting upset.

Though Dany wants to go after Jon, she hesitates, stays behind with Bran, she has a question. If the Stark words were always a warning of the threat of the dead, do the Targaryen words, Fire and Blood, have meaning as well because Aegon I wanted to protect the realm against the dead? Bran says he doesn’t know but it’s possible. Missandei listens to this and it jogs her memory to something else she read about: What’s the meaning of three, what’s the meaning of The Dragon has three heads? Dany hasn’t heard of this either, she’s curious, but again, Bran has no idea.

The Protectors of the Realm

As everyone else continues prepping, Bran is searching the city’s memories, popping up just long enough to give instructions, inform people of gaps or weak spots in the walls of the city, secret entrances that need to be blocked back up, etc. While delving into the past, Bran comes across a memory he realizes is recent - Varys and Littlefinger sneaking into the city.

VisionBran follows them and sees them meet in secret with Qyburn. The three discuss plans for the future, a future Bran realizes won’t include Cersei, Daenerys, or Jon. Qyburn assures Littlefinger and Baelish that once the dead are defeated and it’s clear Jon and Dany are dead too, he will poison Cersei and the Mountain. When Baelish and Varys ask for clarification as to how Qyburn will ensure Jon’s and Dany’s deaths during the battle, he shows them his scorpion prototype that was first seen on Euron’s ship when he attacked Dragonstone. Bran comes to with a gasp.

Jon and Dany are quickly informed of Varys’ and Baelish’s treasonous plot.

Baelish and Varys proclaim everything they did, they did for the realm, always to protect the realm. This gives Jon an idea as to how the two shall be dealt with but until then, they are put in chains.

Outside, snow starts to fall much more heavily on King’s Landing. They’re running out of time...

A Royal Wedding

Davos swings a cloak around Jon’s shoulders and fastens it for him as Missandei places a simple crown of winter roses on Daenerys’ head.

Everyone gathers around in the middle of the Dragonpit where Melisandre and Jon are waiting.

Dany emerges, clutching Jorah’s arm - he’s giving her away.

At Mel’s instructions, Jon and Dany recite the words of the religion of R’hllor and jump over a ditchfire, emerging on the other side as one. Having no other cloak available, Jon removes his and places it around Dany’s shoulders. They are finally married.

“Celebrations” begin (it’s really just everyone eating around bonfires in the Dragonpit, laughing, visiting, telling stories, etc.)

At Tormund’s prompting and questioning, Jaime is inspired to Knight Brienne which everyone loves

Jon and Dany escape the festivities and retreat to the loft they’ve been staying in while in King’s Landing - it’s simple and modest and Jon apologizes that their first night as man and wife isn’t befitting of a queen, Dany shakes her head and tells him it’s perfect, they begin to kiss

Love Montage

Tyrion prompts Pod to start singing

Cue montage of all the GOT “couples” cuddling and/or having sex - Missandei/Grey Worm, Jon/Dany, Theon/Sansa, Gilly/Sam, Arya/Gendry, Jaime/Brienne, (obligatory shot of Euron in Cersei’s bed dead asleep and Cersei beside him with a glass of wine, ambivalent)

Everyone else during the montage is shown laughing, talking, and enjoying life - Jorah/Lyanna Mormont, Bran/Meera/Howland Reed, Davos/Tormund, (hilarious shot of Baelish and Varys in chains, scowling at each other).

Three Blasts

Pod’s song ends and Bran approaches Tyrion - they need to inform Cersei of Qyburn’s betrayal, she’s in danger too, Tyrion agrees

Once Jaime and Brienne surface (with Tyrion giving them both a questioning but pleased look), Tyrion and Bran make their plea to Jaime - Cersei is under attack too, should be informed of Qyburn’s treason as they have a temporary truce with her. Jaime is likely the only one Cersei will let near her and he reluctantly agrees to deliver the message.

A horn blasts three times to announce the arrival of the dead and Jaime gives Brienne one last kiss goodbye before heading to the Red Keep

As instructed by Jon, Baelish and Varys are escorted outside the city walls in chains and then their chains bound to structures in the ground to prevent them from fleeing. They want to protect the city? There they are. The city’s “first defense” against the dead, standing together, alone, outside its walls. The protectors of the realm.

Episode 8 Inside the Episode: Protectors of the Realm

1) Arya warging Nymeria’s pack and Direwolf teeth destroying White Walkers?

This one was a kind of no brainer. We were supposed to have direwolves in the 8x03 episode anyway and Arya needs to use her powers somehow in the fight against the dead, not just some dumb cheap-shot on the Night King.

Also, I’ve always felt the direwolves could serve a bigger purpose in the fight against the dead. Bloodraven (likely) sent the direwolves to the Starks for a reason. Yes, to protect them, but what if the direwolves could do more? We’ve already seen Grey Wind fight in battles for Robb. What if the rest of the pack was meant to fight against the dead?

(And yes, I know Nymeria’s pack is mostly regular wolves but if she’s stumbled across a few other direwolves and maybe had some hybrid pups of her own, their teeth could still kill White Walkers - in this story)

2) The Night King’s Purpose

I really loved the idea of everyone having a little piece of the puzzle - Sam, Bran. Missandei, even Sandor Clegane. They all put the pieces together to figure out the Night King’s motives, why he wants to destroy the world.

Plus, the Night King’s purpose being to punish man for their violent ways, their sins, would make the story very biblical, which would make for some great parallels as well.

In the show, the Night King just wants to destroy everything, but we’re never really told why. This just makes his purpose more specific and the lesson of the story more specific as well - PEACE. Prioritize peace, put aside differences, fight with each other, not against each other, etc.

3) “Winter is Coming”, “Fire and Blood”, “The Dragon Has Three Heads” - AKA Stuff actually means things??

LOL yes, stuff actually means things. People have been speculating for a while that the Stark words “Winter is coming” was a warning about the White Walkers and I’m still pissed this was never paid off in the show - like really, what was the point? So now it actually has a point.

And, as GRRM hinted at in an interview, yes, I’m making it canon (my canon), that Aegon the Conqueror came to Westeros to save the planet from the White Walkers. It makes total sense. With that in mind, like the Stark words, the Targ House words will have meaning, as will “The Dragon Has Three Heads” which is more repeated in the books than on the show, but who the fuck cares? This is my final season, so I’m writing it the way I want and what makes the most sense to me.

4) Littlefinger and Varys?

They were meant to die together, I’m convinced. The bitchy, problematic, asexual scheming dream couple we were promised. Sorry not sorry. Lol

5) Royal Wedding and subsequent gangbang?

K, it’s not a gangbang, just a montage of everyone having sex. Because weddings make people want to have sex, right? It’s basically the montage scene from the show, just, you know, better. You can imagine for yourselves which couples are actually shown getting down and which are only “cuddling” - except Jon and Dany. Jon and Dany definitely would be shown having sex as they’ve got to “consummate” their marriage :D

Also, had to sneak in Meera and Bran in there. No, they’re not having sex, just talking and visiting with Meera’s father. She and Bran should have ended up together. It is known bitches.

6) Not really a note but apologies some characters like Davos and Tormund haven’t had much attention this series. Well, Davos has a bit. But not Tormund. I’m sure he would have a very important part in the books up until when/if he dies. But he’s never served a very big role in the show since Jon invited the wildlings south of the Wall, so he’s just not had a big role in this series either. Imagine his story whatever you’d like, likewise with all other minor character’s whose stories haven’t been touched on much here.

As always, comments are welcome.

Sorry this took so long to get out! Thanks to everyone who’s been keeping up with it!

Until next episode, which will possibly be posted next week but not sure. Still have some parts to finish.

To Read Previous Episodes:

Original Final Season 7: Preface Post

Season 7 Episode 1: Family, Duty, Honor

Season 7 Episode 2: Greywater Watch

Season 7 Episode 3: The Last of the Dragons

Season 7 Episode 4: Dragonglass

Season 7 Episode 5: The Storm

Season 7 Episode 6: Summerhall

Season 7 Episode 7: A City Fit For A King

Season 7 Episode 8: Protectors of the Realm (Current Episode)

Season 7 Episode 9: The Battle For The Dawn

Season 7 Episode 10: ?

98 notes · View notes

razorblade180 · 4 years

Text

Twin Snowflakes pt9: Phased

“Veronica! Hurry up!!!!!” The most common words to have come out Yang’s mouth in recent days. Day, evening, or nigh, Yang was calling her name through their living room and dining room that was completely littered with clothes on top of suitcases. “Getting dressed!” A younger voice yelled from upstairs.

Yang:Why aren’t you dressed already!?!?!

Veronica:I was, but I forgot the socks that went with got dirty.

Yang:So you changed the whole outfit!?

Veronica:Why do you sound surprised by this!?

Yang:Veronica if we miss our boat to anima I swear-

“Gah!” A curtain of blonde hair with several dark strands of black hits her face and got all in her mouth. Yang immediately backed up and looked towards the ceiling with a slightly irritated gleam in her eyes. Both of her arms went to her hips. “Really Veronica?” The young girl was trying to keep a straight face which was incredibly hard when looking at her ma’s trade mark stare upside down. Frankly she was impressed Yang wasn’t laughing at just seeing a blinking head.

Veronica:Hi.

Yang:Are you dressed yet?

Veronica:Almost. Can you hand me that top behind you. I’m not decent.

Yang:I hope you mean the purple long sleeve because the only other shirt I see is the white v-neck that I’d find hard pressed to call decent.

Veronica:You fought crime in incredibly small tights, a small jacket, and a tube top. You’re going to give me flack about a v-neck?

Yang: First of all, they were compression shorts. Second, are you trying to wear it with the black miniskirt.

Veronica:.....

Yang:*smirking* Thought so. You’re getting the long sleeve.

Veronica:*folds ears* Mom! Your wife is being grumpy!

Yang:Blake! Come straighten out your child!

Slow footsteps came creaking around the corner to show the tired faunus in her nightgown stumbling a bit. Her long hair a total mess and waving her ears hello at both bundles of fiery passion. Veronica’s arm came through the ceiling to wave back in rhythm with her own ears. Yang walked over to kiss Blake’s cheek and becoming a post for a Blake to lean on.

Yang:Sorry, didn’t realize you were still sleeping.

Blake:Stayed up.....to finish some papers. Why are you two arguing? Actually, why are you still here?

Yang:Your daughter-

Blake:Our daughter.

Yang:She’s yours when she gets like this.

Veronica and Blake:What, you mean like you?

Yang:H...Hey! Can you just tell her to dress conservative while we’re going to the coldest place ever and hurry up.

Veronica:That ship is literally here for us; they won’t leave us behind. Also please explain to ma how my outfit choices are fine.

Blake:....

Blake:Can I make tea first? Also talk to both of you at ground level? Veronica just throw on something, or nothing at really. You came out of me. I’ve made everything you got.

Veronica:Eugh, mom can you not phrase it like that?

Yang:Right? I mean I helped a little.

Veronica:Really!? Right in front of me? *leaves*

Yang:Old enough to where what you like but can’t handle a little adult humor. Oh how I mess being sixteen.

Blake:I don’t.

Yang:I doubt any member of a radical group would. How would you like your tea? Please say with honey.

Blake:Lavender.

Yang:Booooo. One day you’ll join the honey team. *grabs kettle*

Blake:Between your jokes and scuffles with Veronica about clothes I hope you know that you sound just like your dad.

Yang:Good! He raised two badass daughters. I got my hands full with just one.

Veronica:I’m coming down. Mind your heads!

Blake moves a chair and the surrounding clutter as Veronica’s legs start coming through the ceiling; shortly followed by the rest of her. She lands softly with no sound what so ever. Despite the talk about the so called compression shorts that Veronica tried to call out, she was now wearing them along with a tank top. Her tail slides up the front of it to rub her stomach.

Veronica:Geez guess I should really put all of theses actually in the suitcases now huh?

Yang:Ya think?

Blake:Do you really have to take so much clothes and fabric with you?

Veronica:Of course! I know the change of scenery will inspire me to come up with a new design. Can’t let the ideas escape from me because I’m unprepared.

Yang:You do remember you’re also helping set up and manage the tournament right. It’s not a vacation. *hands Blake a cup of tea*

Blake:*grabs entire tea pot*

Yang:......

Veronica:*smiles* It might not be a vacation but it’s definitely a breath of fresh. I plan to capitalize on it and that starts with attire.

Yang:Fair, just not that v-neck.

Veronica:Hmmmm, what’s stopping me from grabbing it right now and running away?

Yang:What’s stopping me from cutting off all the lights and wrestling you?

Veronica:I hope all the stuff on the ground. We both can’t be fumbling around in the dark.

Yang:I like my odds.

Blake:*wiping mouth* Ooooorrrrrr you can let me take a side like you both called me in here to do.

Veronica and Yang:.......Did you drink the whole pot?

Blake:Oh, sorry, I didn’t ask if you wanted any.

Yang:That’s not the issue....

Veronica:Wasn’t that scolding?

Blake:Eh. Let’s focus on the problem at hand. Yang?

Yang:Y...Yes?

Blake:If Veronica were to walk around as she is right now, would you think that is appropriate?

Somehow there was a trap in this question, but Yang couldn’t figure it out for the life of her. She turned to Veronica to exam her. The girl truly was blooming just like Yang had around that age. Toned body, a healthy smile, hair, dramatic lilac eyes, and a figure that somehow managed to take a decent amount of the best parts from both her and Blake; just proportioned to the girls slightly leaner and shorter build. Yang would be over the moon that somehow every Xiao Long kid made out to be basically a bombshell. Too bad it came with constant supervision to spot the wondering eyes of others. ‘I gotta remember to treat dad to something. How’d he do this like it was nothing?’

Yang:Well.....it’s not exactly inappropriate but I wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

Blake:*Smirking* Why?

Yang:Because you know how people are! Who knows when creep might pull a stunt or she might get unwanted attention. Girls might hassle her and guys can be excessive. I just want you to not have to deal with all that because if I see it then I might fight a kid.

Veronica:I fight my own battles you know? I mean it would be pretty lame if I couldn’t. You don’t exactly pull your punches in the ring. Or anywhere for that matter.

Blake:Now for the final question. Yang, do you remember what you were when we first met?

Yang:.......I was 18

Veronica:Wait, what was she wearing?

Blake:Exactly what you have on right now.

Veronica:Seriously!?

Yang:But I was 18!

Blake:With no super vision, in a public area, and you had no care in the world. Were you worried about anyone making a pass at you.

Yang:No, anyone who tried something would’ve gotten beaten u-

Veronica:*smiling*

Yang:Blake! I thought you were gonna be on my side!

Blake:She might not be 18 but she’s also not alone. Plus yoy have worn far less.

Veronica:Did not think I’d actually win this argument. Thanks mom.

Blake:I’m not finished.

Veronica:Should’ve known....

Blake:Yang, can I talk to her one on one really quick?

Yang:Okay? I guess I’ll just go pack up then? *slowly walking out*

Blake:Hey...

Veronica:H-Hey?

Blake:Wanna tell me why you’re throwing a fuss about not wearing a purple top; you’re favorite top I might add?

Veronica:No particular reason. I just don’t like feeling confined.

Blake:We are your parents. We’re supposed to impose limits and you only have a couple. Clothes suggestions have never gotten under your skin before.

Veronica:Yeah well I suppose that’s changed a bit. What’s the point of designing clothes and going to school for it if I can’t diversify my style. Let people be left in awe by me.

Blake:Is Nicholas one of those people?

Veronica’s eye went wide before her face flushed a rosey red. Blake had hit a soft spot and she knew it. She stood up to walk towards her daughter who had crossed her arms and turned her head away to avoid looking directly into those amber eyes that always seemed to cut right through her defenses. That didn’t stop Veronica to allow Blake to pull her into a gentle embrace.

Blake:I’m surprised. I half expecting my arms to go right through you.

Veronica:Yeah well...I like your hugs.

Blake:And I like knowing your okay. I’m positive you’ll get more interest out of him by being nice to his sister then showing skin

Veronica:One of those things is far easier.

Blake:Please be on your best behavior.

Veronica:I always am. What happens is up to her.

Blake:Ver-

Veronica:I know. Inhales...... I know. Hopefully we’ll both be too busy to interact much and we don’t have to socialize.

Blake:That’s not really what I would call a solution. Going was your idea so I expect nothing but good news. I’ll be there when the actual tournament begins and I can’t wait to see how you added style to the arena.

Veronica:I gotta get there first. Which means I really need to pack all this up and get dressed.

Blake:Is that your way of saying “Mom please let go of me?”

Veronica:Such intelligence. No wonder you are the greatest high leader Remnant has ever seen.

Blake:Pfft whatever you know it all. *lets go*

They share one last look before Veronica grabs her purple shirt it winks. “What can I say? I looks amazing on me.” Blake playfully rolls her eyes and watches her daughter leap into the air and phase through the ceiling.

Blake:Hehe we have stairs!

Veronica:*muffled* And they look lovely!

Blake:Yang you can come back in!

Yang:*peeks around corner* Why do I always have to leave the room?

Blake:Because she thinks you’re strong and amazing like how you think of your dad. We both know how much you feel frustrated whenever he sees you get emotional.

Yang:*red* He’s seen me soft too many times. I’m grown.

Blake:Only proving my point dork. I know I probably spoil her too much but let Veronica spread her wings a bit. She rarely gets to do that around here.

Yang:*frowns* I know. I’m just worried she’ll spread those wings too far. There might not be enough room for anyone else. Atlas might have a new ruler by the time tournament is over.

Blake:Atlas’s loves Nick and Summer too much for that.

Yang:I never said she’d do it easily. I can see it now, a turf war that shook the world.

Blake:You’re so dramatic.

Yang:That’s why you married me.

Blake:Certainly wasn’t for your tea making skills. *darts off smiling*

Yang:What!? My tea is fine! Blake! *runs after her*

xxxx

“Achooo!!!”

Winter:That was some sneeze. The weather getting to you?

Summer:No. I’m not sure where that came from.

The two of them had landed down on the Mantle wall for several minutes now. Both under the wing of the summoned nevermore to avoid the light rain. Little was said between them after their embrace in the sky. Words was never Winter’s strongest skill; even after all these years. It was more comfortable watching the warm glow of the city lights in silence, but Weiss had given her a task. See if Summer was truly okay.

Her earlier actions definitely raised a few unsettling flags that Summer tried to ensure where just in Winter’s head. Still, Summer’s face, Winter couldn’t help but notice how solemn it was. The girl had already faced trials and tribulations no one should at her age. Winter took ahold her hand which made the girl jump slightly. She had completely zoned out for a moment but now looked at her aunt perplexed.

Summer:Yes auntie?

Winter:You were lost in thought. Where you having a conversation again?

Summer:No, I had enough of Shiva’s comments for one day. For a lifetime actually.

Winter:I cannot imagine what’s it’s like going through that. Especially for so long.

Summer:It’s no different than enteral monologue really, or the voice people have when they’re silently reading to themselves. Only mine has a will of its own. Not to mention the space I seem to find myself in whenever things get out of hand. I guess that part is a bit different from most people.

Winter:The mind is a complex thing to say the least.

Summer:Yeah, and mine is broken.

Winter:Your mind is not broken Summer.

Summer:Feels that way sometime. There’s still so much I don’t fully understand about what’s happening. Even after all this time.

Winter:That’s not a fault on you. Science is merely trying to catch up with such an unorthodox event. Just the other day Oscar and Qrow went off to find answers just for you. I believe even Adrian tagged along.

SummerReally!? Where are they going?

Winter:To see if anything can be learned from the Gods. If they manage to find them that is.

Summer:That’s....a tall order. All that for me? I’m the one who should be going through that trouble. It’s my problem after all.

Winter:This is something everyone has to deal with.

Summer:Oh.....sorry. *frowning*

Winter:That’s not what I-.....sigh, what I meant is we are all family. If one of us has a problem then all of us do and it’s no big deal for anyone to try and resolve it.

Summer:That doesn’t make it less frustrating for me though. I know you all care. I do, but there’s just something. Like a gap I can’t seem to close between myself and the rest of the world. Like I never really left that lake.

Winter:....Then lets go back.

Summer:W...what?

Winter:It’s somewhere down here right? Maybe going there will spark something.

Summer:An answer?

Winter:Perhaps, or closure.

Summer:Closure huh? (Maybe that is what I’m actually missing.) I will think about it. First things first, I actually came down here for a reason. Despite the bond and resources between Atlas and Mantle growing, there’s still plenty of people that still live on the streets. I tend to donate money when I can also sometimes I just go around the city to go buy food or warm clothes to whoever I find.

Winter:I had no idea you kept a close eye on these types of things. How often do you come down here.

Summer: Enough to hurt my grades it seems. You are the first person to catch me chain grinding attempts. Can’t believe you saw the worst one though. That’s embarrassing to say the least.

Winter:Attempts? Summer I know you’re smart enough to know what you’re doing is extremely dangerous. Not to mention illegal. What if I hadn’t caught you?

Summer:I would’ve just....it’s actually easier to show you. If that’s okay I mean.

Winter:*raises eyebrow* Is it safe?

Summer’s face scrunches up as she wobbles her hand up and down. “Safer than most of the things involving the cold. I can control it just fine.” Now it was Winter’s turn to look skeptical. This could potentially be a slippery slope their playing with. However, it was hard not to notice the slight excitement in Summer’s voice. “If you really can control it...then I suppose there isn’t any ha-“

“Yes!” Summer bounced a little at the thought of showing off. She removed her cloves and tugged her shirt down for more air flow. Winter stood beside her and watched carefully. Shiva and her powers over ice weren’t anything new but this pseudo form that rest in between the full transition had her attention. It was easy to tell Summer had been hard at work trying to find a way to turn this accident into something useful without succumbing to it. At first glance anyone wouldn’t notice the flickering in her eyes or the subtle color shifts in at the ends of her hair.

She watched her niece clap her hands together then pull them apart slowly as the cold itself seemed to be drawn into the middle. Ice crystals grew larger while expanding length wise. Summer had created another snowboard in no time at all. It might’ve been second nature to her fall all Winter can tell. And yet....“You sure I don’t have to worry this time about catching you?”

“Follow behind me if it makes you feel better. I’m heading towards the dust facility down here so keep up.” Summer said with a thumbs up and took a running start before leaping off the wall. The Nevermore swooped Winter and took off. Tailing Summer like instructed. Winter was quite surprised to say the least at what she witnessed. The rain around Summer turned to slush and ice that trailed underneath her. More and more swirled down by the base of the bored each way swayed it. Summer was snowboarding in midair and that was something Winter admitted to herself was worth showing off. From behind her it was still easy to till Summer was enjoying herself, yet also not quite how she usually would. The essence around her felt more...invigorating. Winter couldn’t help but wonder.....where exactly do Summer’s actions end, and Shiva’s begin?

xxxx

Gym Teacher: Mr. Schnee I appreciate your enthusiasm but don’t you think this is a bit much for you to handle?

Nick:Come on Coach Bree. Aren’t you always telling me to get my striking speed up?

Harriet: Yeah but...

The both of them stare at the giant track field at the back of the school. Easily three miles long and leaving plenty of space in the middle for games such as soccer or football. Also the giant paladin that is currently setting his laser sights on Nick.

Harriet:Beating a Paladin alone is a tall order. Why not take the regular physical exams like everyone else?

Nick:My schedule is busy as it is! I can’t waste two class periods on doing them when I can take the expedited test and pass automatically; plus it’s good training for the tournament. It’s just rubber bullets and lasers set to stun.

Harriet:With concussion grenades, thrusters for speed, it’s made of the finest metal, and designed to be on destroy Goliaths. Seniors have difficulty with this. I’ll admit you have skill but not that much skill.

Nick:You just don’t feel like writing a incident report.

Harriet:What teacher does!? Plus I don’t feel like getting yelled at if you can’t participate in the tournament. I’ll never hear the end of it.

Nick:Ugh, and after all that work I put into finishing that science test early.

Harriet:Sorry kid. Like I said, seniors have trouble with this. I actually let them team up for it.

Nick:That tough huh? Oh! If that’s the case then can I take it with others!?

Harriet:I’d might consider it but there’s a problem. No one your age is crazy enough to attempt this. Most of them are still working of the fat from winter break.

Nick:No one crazy enough. I think you underestimate Valerie.

Harriet:She already took the first half of the regular exam so good luck making her decide to switch up.

Nick:Crap, I forgot she had P.E. already. Man this sucks!

Harriet:.....I tell you what. Your sister didn’t show up today. Despite her absences....

Nick:*flinches* Hehe see about that... she ate waaaaay to much Christmas ham and-

Harriet:I’m in the loop on her reluctance to attend my class genius. Your mom called earlier to give me a heads up that I’d only be seeing you today. That girl is really started to throw a wrench in my planning.

Nick:I’m sorry....I know she feels awful about it.

Harriet:*scratches head* Doesn’t change I need numbers for her. Putting in zeros in grade books is easy. Putting them in battle info makes it extremely hard to plan proper routines that are challenging but not suicidal. But since you’re determined about risking safety anyways. If by some miracle you can convince Summer and Valerie to take this with you, then I’d feel more confident that I won’t send a student home with broken bones like last time.

Nick:Really!? Alright!

Harriet:That last part just didn’t matter to you did it?

Nick:No offense, but we are eople with gold and silver medals for combat related activities should be just fine. Tomorrow it is! Before or after school?

Harriet:I’m not waking up earlier to call an ambulance. After school or if you all so happen to have a free period around the same time.

Nick:After school it is! I got a good feeling about this!

xxxx

Valerie:You are insane...

Nick:Please!?

“SSSSSHHHHHH!!!!” Multiple students stared at the boy annoyed as they were peacefully trying to read. He had forgotten where he was for a moment and quickly hid his face behind a book before the librarian started skulking around. Valerie watched the boy’s eyes peek over the top of pages and waited for him to continue to make his case. This time in a whisper.

Nick:Pretty please?

Valerie:No. I had to spend my time in that stupid dressing room and listen to dumb girls have a contest over who was hotter. That is sanity wasted if I switch up now.

Nick:That’s ridiculous.

Valerie:Their arguing or my complaining? Choose carefully.

Nick:The fact that they’re fighting about who’s the prettiest when you’re in the room.

Valerie:Well played. Still not doing it. Why am I a requirement.

Nick:*grabs her hands* Because without you we’d be hard press to find someone else our grade to keep up with us. Only you can do it. You’re awesome. We both know that.

Now he’d done it. Valerie was never a person to care about compliments yet Nick’s were a bit different from most. Maybe it was that Arc charm at work or seeing Schnee eyes look so soft, but his compliments always felt incredibly genuine. It was irritating after all this time he was as good with words as she was. Murmurs reached her ears as more students started watching the two. More importantly, their hands. He still hadn’t let go. How long have they been like this?

Val’s face got a bit stern and she shook her hands free. She brought her right one up to thump the poor boy right in the nose to wipe that puppy dog look away.

Nick:Ow...still no?

Valerie:.......Fine, but I’m only saying fine because I’d be road kill earlier without you. Then we’re even.

Nick:You’re still thinking about that? I wasn’t gonna hold saving your life over your head by any means but if it makes you feel better then okay. We’ll be even.

Valerie:Good. I guess I can make a peace of my day completely irrelevant now.

Nick:You’re the best!!!

Liberian:Quiet!!!

Nick:Whoops! I should go. Thanks again!

Valerie:Sure th-

Nicholas went in and hugged her fast before pulling back and showing a gleeful grinn. Before she could say anything he was running off out of the library and more importantly, the studying students. Some of them turned their attention to her so at least she could feel their frustration. Even the Liberian shot of look of displeasure which only increased the embarrassment on her face. She had no choice but to bury herself into the text book she had been reading before things got loud. It did not stop the feeling of them staring behind it, or her face from turning red.

Valerie:(Damn it Nicholas. I’m totally getting you back for this somehow!)

xxxx

Yang:*tapping her foot* (I swear this girl) Veronica in a second I’m just gonna lea-

“I’m ready!” The girl came sliding into view with her luggage in hand. Yang couldn’t help but smile as it seemed common ground between them was found. Her daughter wore black flats accompanied with black thigh high socks and the skirt mentioned from earlier. A gap between the two showed some skin but not crazy in the slightest. The purple long sleeve shirt was worn with pride and Yang couldn’t help but notice Veronica had taken the time to make hair a little crinklly.

She paid no mind to her mother as she strutted passed her mom with her tail pulling her luggage along. Veronica was too busy already opening up her journal and going over unfinished designs.

Veronica:Let’s get to it Ma. Ship won’t wait forever right?

Yang:For your sake I hope you don’t have to kick anyone.

Veronica:Already got it covered. A little thing called compression shorts. It’s hard to tell because I’m not only wearing them. Thought it should go underneath something.

Yang:I’m gonna have to deal with that the whole ride huh?

Veronica:Oh yeah. *closes door*

Part 8

#rwby twin snowflakes #rwby #nicholas schnee #summer schnee #veronica belladonna #blake bellodona #yang xiao long #bmblb #bumbleby #harriet bree #winter schnee #rwby au #val valkyrie #rwby whiteknight #renora

29 notes · View notes

hopes4gf · 3 years

Text

Wings of Fire (A MHA Fanfic): The Pulse

Later, on we get our scheduled matches and I fight Mina.

As we prance around the ring, demonstrating our skills and quirks, I feel Dad’s gaze right on me. As I try to build walls of ice to block Mina’s acid, I shoot her with a fire ball, ripping into her uniform. Mina is knocked out of the ring and I’m declared the winner. To win the third place spot, I’m matched with Tokoyami and Dark Shadow which makes him one of my biggest challengers, since we’re both skilled in attack and defense.

I go to the stands to wait for my match.

Shoto faces off with Midoriya. A match that's sure to please my father. Shoto does as he told Midoriya, fighting him only using his right side. But Midoriya attacks the ice walls he builds. What happens next shocks me to my core, Midoriya shouts, “It’s your quirk, not his,” making Shoto’s fire quirk spark a jolt.

I watch Dad spark with victory.

“Have you finally lived up to your purpose? That’s it! Very good, this is the dawn of a new era for us! With my blood in your veins, you will surpass me and live up to the reason I created you!” Dad exclaims.

I growl underneath my breath at my father’s prideful actions.

Of course he would choose to make a scene in front of Shoto.

Shoto creates a surge of fire, wiping Midoriya out.

Midnight stops the fight before it becomes brutal. Shoto wins.

The crowd goes wild at the sight of Shoto’s fire.

Shoto looks to me, disappointed in himself. I glare and head inside of the stadium to the waiting room, preparing for my match. How could I top him? Dad’s pride at his best.

As I head towards the rooms, I see Dad approaching the entrance of the battleground to meet Shoto.

“What’s the matter? Not gonna tell me to get lost?” Dad assumes.

Shoto stays silent.

”You need to learn to control your left side. It’s dangerous to control so much energy like that. I’m glad you’re finally seeing reason. Now, that you’ve abandoned your childish rebellion, we can get back to what’s important,” Dad says, proudly, putting his arms out for Shoto to hug him.

I feel jealous watching their interaction. What happens next grinds my gears.

”Once you graduate, I want you to be my sidekick,” Dad offers.

“There’s no way I can abandon anything. I completely forgot about you...I’ll think about it,” Shoto says, starting to accept his abilities.

Dad’s eyes widen and Shoto walks past him.

Before he can spot me again, I continue down to the waiting rooms.

I sit in my room and I deliberate the situation. Was that Shoto’s exception? Is he really going to work for Dad? Is that why he’s been distant all this time?

Suddenly, the door opens. Shoto appears with a new gym shirt on.

”What’re you doing here?” I ask.

”I betrayed you. I told you I’d never use my fire. But I didn’t have any other choice,” Shoto says in a monotone voice.

I sigh and stand to face him.

”You should’ve thought about that from the beginning when you dragged me behind you at the entrance exam,” I spit.

”Why are you still mad about that?” Shoto asks.

”Because it keeps happening over and over again! Don’t you even care?” I exclaim.

”I do care,” Shoto says.

”Than act like you do!” I exclaim, pushing him back.

He doesn’t fight me. Instead, he turns away and leaves.

My match is called and I head to the arena.

Let’s just say my fire burned dark shadow pretty badly. Putting her down with only one blast due to the blue light.

As I walk back into the waiting rooms, I realize that this gives me the opportunity to face the person I dreaded ever coming across.

Katsuki Bakugo.

Later, our match is called and we both head to the battlefield. Dad stares down at me proudly, finally acknowledging this match up.

Katsuki doesn’t even speak before the match, respectfully acknowledging my father’s presence.

We both clash, his explosions attacking me while my ice guards against him.

”Never thought I’d ever fight you in a million years,” I comment, as I dodge his explosions.

”I guess you can handle the heat, hot stuff,” He winks.

I send ice shards in his directions but he protects himself from my attack with an explosion.

”You’re gonna have to better than that if you wanna take me down,” Bakugo smirks.

I raise my brow, challenged by his skill.

I push myself up and forward, creating a large ice barrier. But before I can trap him with my Hell Ring, he blasts through the wall, shooting up and creating a large explosion that shakes the arena.

I feel my body start to ache at the impact of his explosion, the heat making my eyes start to close.

My body finally meets the grounds impact.

“How’d you know I was going to attack you with my fire?” I ask, my breath starting to slow.

”I remembered the Quirk Apprehension test. You faint when you charge up to much of your fire. It’s your attack quirk. This was fun though,” Bakugo says, standing over me victoriously.

I can hear Midnight declare his victory over me before my body slips away.

———————————————

When I wake, I realize I’m in Recovery Girl’s wing. Next to me, Shoto waits.

”You okay?” Shoto asks.

”Yeah, just a little worn out from Katsuki’s explosions. He’s pretty damn strong,” I say, wincing slightly at my sore body.

”Katsuki? You two on a first name basis?” Shoto asks.

I blush softly as I realize that I called Bakugo by his first name.

”I didn’t mean to say his name, I just-“

”You like him don’t you?” Shoto asks.

I blush even harder at my brother’s questions.

”I- um. Well,” I stutter.

”He came to see you earlier. He told me to tell you he came because ended up winning. He thought you might cheer up hearing that,” Shoto says.

I smile to myself at the thought of Bakugo coming to see me and winning the festival.

”He wasn’t proud of it though. He kept urging me to use my fire on him. He wanted a fair match. But if Midnight hadn’t stopped the match, both of us would’ve died,” Shoto laughs softly.

My eyes widen at the thought. It was that important to him? Especially after winning against me?

”Are you serious?” I ask.

”He was determined. They had to muzzle him and chain him up to make him stop. He went completely nuts. But when he saw you, something about him softened,” Shoto adds.

Later, one of the doctors walks in to let me go.

Me and Shoto walk to the train station together.

”I went to visit mom recently,” Shoto admits, breaking his silence.

My eyes widen, remembering him and Midoriya’s interaction.

”So did I,” I admit.

Shoto turns to me, surprised.

”When?” Shoto says.

”After the battle trials,” I admit.

Shoto stops me in my tracks.

”Why didn’t you tell me? About mom and dad?” Shoto asks.

”Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna work for Dad?” I bite back.

Shoto’s eyes widen and his face softens.

”You really think I want to drag you into that?” Shoto asks.

”It’s not my fault that you ended up with that scar! You’re running right to the man who’s exploited you for years, Sho! You’re not only betraying me, but you're betraying mom. She told me before you so that we can form a closer bond and prove Dad wrong. That we didn’t need him. But instead your asking for his advice. You’re allowing him to continue tearing us apart. So if you really really cared, you would stop whatever bullshit you’re doing and apologize to mom!” I yell.

“You’re right. But if I want to make it anywhere I have no choice but to ask him. Because if I can’t protect you, who is?” Shoto says.

”That’s for me to decide, Shoto. Not you,” I say, stepping onto our train before him.

We ride on the train in complete silence. We reach our home and we enter silently.

”Shoto, Aki, is everything alright?” Fuyumi asks.

”Leave them alone. They’ve had a long day,” Dad says, appearing from his study.

”But I have news,” Fuyumi says.

”What’d you say about news?” Natsu says, appearing from his room.

”I...I've been hiding something from you all,” Fuyumi says shyly.

We all raise a brow.

”I....I have a boyfriend,” Fuyumi blurts out.

We all stand in silence.

Before bursting out laughing.

”Fuyumi? She has a boyfriend?!” Natsu laughs.

”That’s impossible! She’s the shyest member in our family. And she’s a teacher, what kind of guy wants a teacher girlfriend?” I laugh along with Natsu.

Dad smacks us both over the head as we continue to laugh.

”Shut up, the both of you and respect your damn sister!” Dad yells.

We finally recover from laughing.

”Guess what, Aki? My boyfriend is a pro hero,” Fuyumi says cheekily.

My smile drops and I stare at her, dumbfounded by her words.

“Do I know them?” Dad asks out of curiosity.

”I invited him to dinner tonight, so, you’ll see,” Fuyumi says.

We all stare back and forth at each other, questioning our judgment.

We continue with our routines and dress up in a casual-formal mixed style.

Soon, we hear our doorbell ring.

Fuyumi answers the door and I sit at the table waiting.

My eyes widen as I see the man at our door.

Slick blond hair, eyes yellow like the sun, sun kissed skin with light stubble and beautiful red wings tucked behind him. He wears a white shirt and some blue slacks, looking quite handsome.

My jaw drops at the handsome spectacle in front of my eyes.

"Hawks," Dad says, glaring at the man.

"Endeavor-san! You haven't been answering my calls, old man," Hawks says coolly, striding inside.

"Why are you here?" Dad asks Hawks, glaring at him.

"Dad...he's my boyfriend," Fuyumi introduces.

"You gotta be fucking joking," I say, my jaw dropped.

Shoto smacks my arm after my comment.

"You two must be the kids from the Sports Festival. What you guys did was awesome! Maybe even better than your pops," Hawks compliments.

I blush softly at his remark and Shoto coughs softly.

"Come on, don't be weird. I don't bite," Hawks adds with a wink.

"Hi," Shoto waves.

I choose to stay silent and suppress my thoughts. I kick myself, remembering he's my sisters boyfriend. Let alone she knows about Katsuki. So I decide to stay silent.

"And you must be the quiet one. You're one tough kid, eh?" Hawks asks, directing his attention to me.

"Actually, it's the opposite. But it seems like the roles are reversed today," Fuyumi comments.

"Loosen up, you knuckle-heads. There's a legend in your presence," Natsu says.

"And you must be the middle child, what's up man?" Hawks says, giving Natsu a handshake.

"All good, just waiting for midterms," Natsu says.

Later, we all sit at the table to enjoy Fuyumi's dinner. As Fuyumi explains what their relationship is like, Hawks's attention switches from her to me, intimidating me.

He probably thinks I'm a big dork.

"And then, he smiled. And I knew, I liked him from that moment on," Fuyumi says.

"Now, don't sugar-coat it, babe," Hawks says.

As the new couple laughs from across the table, I start to feel uncomfortable.

"I think I'm gonna call in for the night," I say, resting my utensils down and standing from my seat.

"Oh no, was the food not good?" Fuyumi asks.

"No, I'm just a little tired from today. Busy, you know," I say nervously.

"I mean you did pass out during the festival," Natsu recalls, on the verge of laughing.

"Natsu, respect your sister," Dad says, smacking him upside his head.

"Buenas Noches (good night)," I say, excusing myself.

I sigh as the light of the living room fades from my vision. I step into my room and push the door of my balcony out.

I grab my phone and dial Katsuki's number.

It pings three times.

"Hey, hot stuff," Katsuki says through the phone.

"Hi. Shoto told me you came by, I was wondering how you've been," I say.

"Does that mean you were thinking about me?" He asks, cheekily.

I roll my eyes at his antics, my heart starts to skip beats as I hear his voice through the phone.

"You were worried about me. All I wanted to say was thank you," I say, dodging the question.

"I'll take that as a yes," Katsuki suggests.

"Asshole," I say.

"Dumbass," He says in return.

"If you want my opinion, stop fooling around," I say.

"Okay, fine," He says, giving in.

"I just needed to hear your voice. Hearing about you made me feel a bit better. And, my sister decided to bring her boyfriend home today, so you can only imagine how I feel," I say honestly.

"You lonely, babe?" Katsuki asks.

I blush softly and stay silent.

"Admit it, you want me with you right now," Katsuki teases.

"Maybe," I say, giving in slightly.

I hear him chuckle through the phone.

"I knew it," Katsuki laughs softly.

I smile to myself.

"Is there anything else you need before I head out?" Katsuki asks.

"Honestly...I wanna see you again. Not in like a group setting but privately," I say.

"We can meet in the classroom at lunch tomorrow," Katsuki suggests.

"Good," I agree.

"Night, Aki," He says sweetly through the phone.

"Good night, Katsuki," I say softly before hanging up.

Suddenly, I feel a gust of wind behind me.

"Was that your boyfriend?" A voice asks.

I turn and see Hawks standing behind me.

"No, he's just a friend from school," I admit.

Hawks smiles at me.

"Your sister told me a lot about you," Hawks says.

"What kind of cookie cutter crap did she say this time?" I ask.

"She told me that if there's anyone I should keep my eye out for, it's you. She says you're the heart and soul of the family. The one who's always trying to keep everyone balanced and together," Hawks says.

"That sounds more like her than me," I scoff.

"Is that so?" Hawks asks, stepping closer to my side.

"She's the one who asks us all the protective questions. My old man could give less than a shit about how we feel, but she's the one who actually talks to us," I admit.

"She told me you'd say that," Hawks admits.

I turn my head to face him, his eyes are glued to the horizon.

"The way she puts it, you're the only sibling who refuses to believe whatever canned crap you're fed. You tell only truth to her. You speak your mind, unlike your brothers who tend to bottle things up, I'm not suggesting you don't but it takes you a bit to open up, which is understandable. I respect that actually," Hawks compliments.

"What're you trying to get at?" I ask.

"I'm quite interested in you, not gonna lie. I watched your performance at the festival. I'd really like to work with you one day. And from what your sister has told me, I hope we can be friends. I can see that your old man doesn't cut you enough slack so, if you need a friend or someone to distract him for a couple hours, just call me," Hawks says.

I look down and I realize my phone isn't in my hands anymore, rather, in his as he types his number into my phone.

"I should head back before Fuyumi gets suspicious. I'll see you soon, kid," He says, handing my phone back before flying away.

I stand there flustered and confused. What the hell is going on?

———————————————

“King Explosion Murder,” Bakugo says, showing the class his hero name.

”I think that’s a little too violent,” Midnight disagrees.

Today in class, we’re picking our hero names! Since we’re getting ready to start internships, it’s best to have a hero name so people know who we are once we debut.

But a lot of us are struggling.

“What do you mean?” Bakugo says angrily.

”Why don’t you be Explosion Boy?” Kirishima suggests.

”Shut up, shitty hair!” Bakugo yells.

“Who knew it’d be so hard to pick a damn name?” I scoff.

”I know right! At least give us time,” Kaminari says.

”Denki, it’s been two months since we’ve started school,” Sero reminds.

Two months...in two months we did so much. Summer is coming near so that’s probably why UA is pushing these internships.

Suddenly, the class quiets down as Aoyama, the French laser beam boy steps up.

“Hold your breath. The shining hero...my name is I cannot stop twinkling!” He says in a theatrical tone.

“Come on!” Me and my friends exclaim.

”Take out the I and shorten the cannot to can’t,” Midnight corrects.

”She likes it?” We question.

“This fucking ridiculous,” Bakugo huffs, still trying to think about a name.

”Obviously. We’re picking a name, for gods sake,” I say in agreement.

Our classmates come and go with their cool names. And then my brother steps up.

”Shoto,” He says.

”Just your name? Is that it?” Midnight asks.

”Uh huh,” Shoto nods.

”It’s cause he’s boring as hell and has no flavor in him,” I joke.

The class snickers and Shoto glares at me.

”Then what’s your hero name?” Shoto asks.

A name pops into my head and I write it quickly on my writing board.

”My hero name is Sub-Zero,” I say confidently.

”That’s an awesome name!” My friends exclaim.

”Makes sense due to your ice quirk. But what about your fire?” Midnight asks.

”Might as well call her icy-hot,” Bakugo snickers.

”Shut up, you idiot!” I yell.

”Make me, dumbass!” He yells back.

I blush softly at his response and he smirks to himself, asserting his dominance over me.

"Anywho, I prefer to use my ice quirk a little more than my fire, so it only makes sense, but one day I'd like to use a combo of the two," I continue.

"Well, then, good choice!" Midnight compliments.

I sit back down in my seat and Kirishima gives me a high five.

"Awesome name, man," Kirishima compliments.

"No pressure, Kiri," I say, staring down at his blank board.

He smiles shyly.

I turn to see Bakugo staring at us with a glare in his eye and a scowl across his lips.

"Remind me why you two are my goody goody best friends?" Bakugo scoffs.

"Because you're a big old softie," I joke.

"SHUT UP, YOU DUMBASS!" Bakugo yells.

"Angry Pomeranian~" I coo.

Bakugo growls under his breath.

Later, Bakugo goes up to the class podium.

"Kacchan? What does that mean?" Midnight asks.

I turn to see Midoriya blush softly. I recognize him calling Bakugo that. It's probably a childhood nickname or something.

"Tsk, it's whatever," Bakugo says in a scoff.

I see the look of disappointment on Midoriya's face.

"Don't say anything, idiot," Bakugo says in a low voice to Midoriya.

I smirk softly as he sits down.

"Got a problem, dumbass?" Bakugo asks.

"Not at all, 'suki," I say, using my own nickname on him.

The group's eyes widen but he doesn't lash out, he only scoffs.

"What the hell was-?" Kaminari starts.

Sero tapes his mouth shut.

"Just watch," I catch Sero whisper.

______________________________________________

Later, I head to the classroom and see Bakugo waiting for me like we planned.

"So, you finally gonna be honest with me?" I ask, stepping inside with a smirk on my face.

"What you pulled wasn't fucking funny," Bakugo scoffs.

"Sure it wasn't. Now, are you gonna admit that you were a little jealous of me and Kiri when we were talking?" I ask.

He blushes softly, realizing that I felt his gaze on me as me and Kirishima talked.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," He brushes off.

I put a hand on his chest, teasing him.

"Aw come on, I thought you liked me back," I say coolly.

"I didn't say I didn't like you back. But what if I was, jealous? Especially after that call last night, you hanging around with your sister's boyfriend and talking with my best friends," He starts.

"I knew it," I say with a chuckle.

"Just don't tell anyone," He says, turning away from me.

"Anyways, how are you feeling? You know after you won the sports festival and got a shit ton of offers from a bunch of pro heroes?" I ask.

"It's whatever. My mom's the one whose pushing my ass. But you sure calm my ass down, hot stuff," Bakugo says.

I smile at his words.

"Even if I yelled at you in class for being an absolute ass?" I ask.

"You know, that's different," Bakugo says, rolling his eyes.

"I know. It's just a front. But don't you think the group is starting to get a little curious?" I ask.

Bakugo pulls my hands off of him and puts his hands in mine. His skin is warm and slightly rough from his quirk.

"Listen, whatever goes on between us, is private. They don't have to know shit. They can stay curious for all I care. I want you to myself, which means no bullshit," He says sternly.

"Fine, but...what does that mean for us? Do you wanna just keep meeting like this?" I ask.

"You did say you were lonely, that you wanted me, that you wanted to keep seeing me-" He starts.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," I say, rolling my eyes.

"To me, that call sounded like you wanted to commit to a..."

"A relationship?" I finish.

"Damn you," He scoffs, blushing again.

"You're cute when you're frustrated," I tease.

"Whatever...all I'm gonna say is that I'm open to it. A...relationship," Bakugo says shyly.

"Why?" I tease.

"You know why, idiot," He scoffs.

"Actually, I don't," I say innocently.

"I like you. You don't pack on bullshit, you're...nice. I like talking to you...and teasing you. And you're hot," Bakugo says simply, thinking as he speaks.

"I'll take that over a 'just because your hot', any day. I can work with that," I say with a wink.

"Since you asked me, why do you wanna do this this, huh? Just cause you're the only one without a lover?" Bakugo asks.

"No. I just like the way you think. And like your little quirks and ticks around me, it makes you a little more likeable to me. Also, you're just...comforting. Someone I feel safe around...even when you are a egoistic, protective jackass," I admit.

Bakugo laughs softly at my words, that damn laugh sends butterflies to my stomach.

"I'm gonna be honest, I wasn't expecting you to actually like me. You were one serious bitch," Bakugo says.

"Really?" I ask. "Sure. And I'll admit, I am one too but...you're just a little more tolerable," Bakugo compliments.

"You must be really into me if you're actually complimenting me," I tease.

"Shut up, dumbass," He says.

"So what time you picking me up tonight?" I ask.

"What? You mean like...for a date?" Bakugo asks, caught off guard.

"Yeah, duh," I scoff.

"6:00 I guess. But don't tell anyone," Bakugo says.

"And what do you mean by anyone, 'suki?" I ask.

"The group, you idiot. Or your brother," Bakugo mentions.

"He knows. He could tell when you came to visit me after our match. Anywho, he's not the one you've got to worry about, Bakugo," I say, walking towards the door.

"So formal. Just call me Katsuki or whatever," He scoffs.

"I'm just teasing you, you big idiot. I'll see you later," I say, walking out the door.

After I walk out, my phone starts ringing. I see the caller ID is my new friend, Hawks.

"What's up, bird brain?" I say.

"Hey, kid. I've got some news that you might like," Hawks says.

"What?" I ask.

"Shoto may have told me last night a little scoop about you denying Daddy Endeavor's offer to be his intern so...I snagged you before he even had the chance," Hawks says.

I stop in my tracks.

"Dude, I just met you and you're already going out on a limb for me? Thank god I don't have to deal with him for two months," I sigh.

Hawks laughs from the other end of the phone, I can see his smile from here.

"You'd be working as one of my assistants, I'd help you collect information, figure out battle strategies and stupid dumb shit that you'd have to track in my life. Pretty weight-less, huh?" He explains.

"Better than my dad's hunk of crap," I say.

"Good, I'll be over with Fuyumi at 5:00 so we can talk a bit more, see you then?" Hawks asks.

"Oof, I can't. I got a date tonight with a friend," I say cooly.

"You mean your little boyfriend from last night?" He asks.

"He's not my boyfriend yet, but I think he'll ask me eventually," I say.

"And what makes you think you've pinned him down just yet?" He asks.

I stop in my tracks to think.

"If you feel uncomfortable or need an excuse, just call me okay? I'll fly over whenever," Hawks says.

"Sure, I'll see you soon, I guess," I say.

"Sure, kid," He says, before hanging up the phone.

I grab my Dr. Pepper from my bag and I start to gulp it down as I walk back to class.

_____________________________________

When I get home, I ignore everything in sight, racing upstairs to prepare for my date with Katsuki.

"Why are you so happy today?" Fuyumi asks, standing by my doorway.

"You remember the boy I told you about?" I ask her.

"The bully? What about him?" Fuyumi asks.

"He asked me out on a date," I say with a smile.

"What? But I thought you weren't interested in him. Hold on, isn't he the same guy who made you black out at the festival?" Fuyumi asks.

"Yeah, but he's not all that bad. he's actually sweet and caring and considerate," I admit.

"You think Katsuki Bakugo is sweet, caring and considerate?" Shoto says, joining the conversation.

"From the look of that guy, he looked like he was about to at you," Natsu comments, also joining the conversation.

"He's got a point, Aki," Fuyumi says.

"Aw, come on! We talk all the time. And plus, all you've ever seen is what he's like on the surface," I say, putting on powder.

"You're kidding, right? You've actually had conversations with him, civil ones, but only in private?" Shoto asks.

"Yeah, just ask Hawks," I say.

"You're saying my boyfriend knows about this before any of us do?" Fuyumi asks.

"He's the one who got nosy. And plus, I work for him now, I have to be honest," I add.

"You work for him?" The three of them ask.

"Yeah, I'm doing the internship at UA with him. Dad knows already," I say, spritzing perfume on.

I look through the mirror and the three of them stare at me like dogs waiting for food.

"What?" I ask.

"Dad's gonna kill you if he finds out," Fuyumi says.

"Well then, I won't have a problem. As long as the three of you keep your mouths shut, I'll be fine. And plus, since we're all very secretive, there should be no issues, right, Shoto?" I say, turning to my twin.

"Huh?" Fuyumi and Natsu question, turning to Shoto.

His face goes beet red.

"Have fun," I wink, grabbing my bag and patting his shoulder.

I fix my short red dress and pull my jean jacket on my arms.

I hear Katsuki's car engine outside and I open the door to see him in front of our lawn.

I see a red camaro with the window rolled down, revealing Katsuki, whose wearing a white hoodie with a green camo bomber jacket over it.

"You ready, hot stuff?" He asks.

I open the passenger door and sit inside his car.

"What do you think?" I ask.

He smirks and I kiss his cheek. He blushes softly as he turns back to face the road, revving his engine before driving off.

He turns on a playlist and the first song is Dreams by Fleetwood Mac.

"I didn't pin you as the type to listen to Fleetwood Mac," I comment.

"I listen to pretty much anything that has good beats," Katsuki says.

"Ahh, you're a drummer. No wonder why you're my type. I play guitar," I add.

I feel Katsuki's gaze shift to me for a split second. I hear him laugh to himself at my comment.

"You're fucking cute, you know that?" He asks.

"So are you," I say.

I turn and see him roll his eyes. I smirk to myself and hum softly as the song plays.

We drive around listening to different music, humming and singing along like dorks.

At one point, I catch him singing to Hey There Delilah and I record him. When he notices me, he starts blushing profusely.

"Don't post that," He says frustratedly.

"I know, that's just my personal keepsake," I wink.

Eventually we stop in Akihabara, shonen central and we walk towards an undisclosed location.

"What're you planning, 'suki?" I ask.

"You'll see," Katsuki says teasingly.

Soon, we stop in front of some stairs and above it is a sign that reads "arcade".

"How'd you know I liked arcades?" I ask.

"Lucky guess," Katsuki says, scratching his neck.

I take his hand and we walk up to the arcade.

We reach the arcade and I look around at the 80's style arcade, the colors of all the pin ball machines and anime themed machines mesmerizing me.

"You happy?" He asks.

"More than happy," I say with a smile.

"I assumed you don't get to have much fun at your house since your Dad's a total jackass, this'd be the place I'd take you," Katsuki says.

"That's awfully sweet of you, 'suki," I say with a soft smile.

"Don't mention it, babe," Katsuki says.

I head to the front desk and we both get chip cards to play games.

First, we challenge each other to air hockey.

During the match, we both keep our eyes peeled on the puck and on each other. We match each other's energy, yelling and cursing when the other loses a match. I swear I've never seen someone so competitive over a game ever.

During the last rounds, we taunt each other.

"You're weak, you really think your quick enough to get past me?" I ask.

"Says the girl who passed out during the sports festival because of me," He teases.

"Shut up, explosion boy," I reply.

"You'll pay for that one!" He says, then putting the puck down.

We both yell curses at the puck as we both hit it back and forth quickly. I hit the puck against one of the walls and it shoots past Katsuki.

"Damn it!" Katsuki exclaims, putting down his guarder.

"Told you, you'd lose. Good try though," I say.

Next, we move on to the basketball game.

We both start and once but he gains speed, using his quirk to accelerate his shots.

I catch onto his trick and start to angle my balls with my ice flurries. The cold wind blows them into the basket.

"Cheater," He says.

"Scammer," I say.

"So are you!" He says.

"No I'm not!" I reply.

We go back and forth with insults as we shoot the basketballs.

The timer beeps and I look over at our points. Katsuki is ahead by 250 points and he smirks victoriously.

"Cheaters never win, babe. Now you know how it feels," Katsuki says pridefully.

"Shut up, asshole," I huff.

"You jealous, hot stuff? You jealous that you got beat by a big strong man?" Katsuki teases.

"One more game," I say, not accepting defeat.

He smirks and we move onto our last game.

DDR...Dance dance Revolution.

"Come on! You're a dancer, this isn't fair," Katsuki huffs.

"So you think you're gonna lose, huh? I thought you were a big strong man who is determined to beat me?" I ask teasingly.

Katsuki's eyes narrow, glaring at me. He stands at player two.

"Game on, icy-hot," He says with a newly discovered confidence.

I smirk and pick a vocaloid song.

I focus on the steps, gripping the back rail as I move my feet to the beat.

The steps move across quickly, as I move I score perfects. Suddenly, I'm caught off guard as the board says to switch sides. Me and Katsuki switch sides, quickly fumbling. Before I know, I'm almost off the edge of platform.

I trip over the steps but before I fall, Katsuki catches me, our bodies meet and the game ends.

"You good, idiot?" He asks, focused on me instead of the game.

"Yeah. Thanks for that," I say slightly out of breath.

We both stand upright and look at our percentile score.

We both score 85 percent, tying our score.

I laugh at Katsuki's face as he stares disappointedly at the screen.

"I thought you tripping would impact the score," Katsuki says.

"Oh shut up, you ass!" I say, smacking his arm playfully.

We both move to the prize table and cash in our earnt points. I spot a bunny plush from Ouran Host Club and grab it.

"Damn, it's 1500, I only have 1200," I say disappointedly.

I turn to Katsuki and he huffs, handing me his card. I hug him, thanking him.

As I hug the plush tightly, I see Katsuki's face turn pink.

He takes my hand in his and we walk down to the street.

"That was fun! You should gift me things more often," I say.

"It was only because you looked helpless," Katsuki says, scratching his neck nervously.

"Do you think that's cute?" I ask.

"A little," He scoffs.

"Then I think I should be cute more often, or is that a little too much?" I ask.

"I don't know. I kinda like it when you're feisty too, it makes you even hotter," Katsuki admits.

"Well, then I'm gonna have to find the balance of both. Anyways, what you did was sweet, I appreciate it," I say.

Katsuki blushes softly at my compliment.

"Why do you blush so much? You not used to getting complimented?" I ask.

"Shut it, d-dumbass," He says, getting more flustered.

I grip his hand tightly and we stop. He looks at me with soft eyes.

"If I'm doing something wrong, just tell me," I say.

"Nah, that's not it. I just...you make me feel happy. I feel really happy right now," Katsuki admits.

I laugh softly at his words, as I do, his tenseness is relieved. I feel his muscles relax in my touch. I caress his cheek his my hand, swiping my thumb across his skin.

"You make me happy too, you big idiot," I say through a giggle.

"So what now?" He asks.

"We could get some dinner, or we could go to your car and talk...but if you're up for it, we could try something else," I suggest.

"Like what?" Katsuki asks, raising a sly brow.

I pull his head towards mine, our lips close the gap between us. We kiss. It's a sweet but passionate kiss, I feel his touch on me start to get hungry as I taste the sweet flavor on his lips mixed with my strawberry lip gloss.

He pulls away from the kiss and takes a breath.

"Car. Definitely car," Katsuki says.

I laugh and grab his hand, leading him towards his car while gripping onto the plushie he helped me get.

We get inside the car's backseat and I straddle him down, sitting across his lap.

"Fuck, why do you smell so good?" I comment.

He laughs softly at my comment.

"That's my natural sweat, babe," Katsuki says.

I dig my nose into the crook of his neck.

"Why does your sweat smell like caramel?" I ask.

"My sweat has glycerin, glycerin is a sugar, dumbass," He says through a chuckle.

"Then that makes your kiss even more sweeter to me," I tease.

"Oh yeah?" He asks, his pitch starting to lower.

"Don't get any ideas, lover boy," I say seriously.

"Fine, but if you ask, I'll be here to grant it, hot stuff," Katsuki growls deeply in my ear, sending chills down my spine.

I kiss him once more and we sit there, making out until the sun completely sets over the city.

#bnha bakugou #bnha #bnha shoto todoroki #bnha oc #bnha fanfiction #bnha manga spoilers #bnha hawks #wingsoffire

1 note · View note

annakie · 5 years

Text

Thoughts on a DW Rewatch & Mass Effect replay.

So I’m in the Eleven / Clara half-season now.

Also I’m now replaying Andromeda. I have thoughts, about both. I’ll start with Doctor Who then label it when I get to Mass Effect stuff.

Oh my God this gets long and rambly. Apparently, I have a lot of thoughts.

So, season 702... I’m ready for it to be over. I miss the Ponds. I felt like most of the first half of this season was pretty great, honestly. I’d forgotten how fun some of those episodes were, I think at the time we were anticipating a new companion so heavily that it was harder to appreciate those episodes? I feel like there was a lot of criticism levied towards them that now I felt like was a bit too much. The western episode was kinda meh but still not bad.

I’m not sure what exactly it is about these Clara / Eleven episodes that I’m still not connecting with but I’m in the middle of the Crimson Horror episode (which is a Vastra/Jenny/Strax heavy episode and enjoying it more than anything else so far this half-season.

*edit later* NOPE NOPE NOPE I’D FORGOTTEN HOW THE DOCTOR FORCES A KISS ON JENNY. GROSS. SUPER GROSS. SHE’S A MARRIED WOMAN, A LESBIAN AND DID NOT CONSENT TO ANY OF THIS. BAD DOCTOR, BAD.

Honestly even with some excellent guest start acting, the Russian Submarine episode was STILL a slog and the ghosts in the 1950′s episode no better. Like they still weren’t ridiculous and unwatchable but... just didn’t feel fun or interesting at all? The Journey to the Center of the TARDIS episode was decent, and I felt like that wasn’t nearly as cool as it should have been..

I remember reading a criticism of these episodes early on where they said that the biggest fault is that they failed to give Clara any real characterization or solid personality other than “girl the Doctor is obsessed with”. She’s SUPER IMPORTANT but not only do we not know why at this point but it really doesn’t feel... earned? I don’t recall it ever feeling earned that Clara was supposedly always so important? “The most importantest companion EVAR!”

And as someone who stanned the hell out of a character who was hated in the fandom for “replacing” a previous companion I’m checking myself to make sure it’s still not because I Miss the Ponds. Like, I don’t HATE Clara, I just, at least at this point in the rewatch, can’t find any reason to really LOVE her? She’s there, she’s fine, Jenna-Louise Coleman is doing a great job with what they’re giving to her but... I don’t know. It all feels... off.

I had forgotten all about the “the Doctor rides a motorcycle up the side of a skyscraper” moment and something hit me in that moment that made me remember that wow people hated that moment. It felt really... shark-jumpy somehow.

I love Eleven, but this half-season isn’t connecting with me, AT ALL. It feels like the writers just went and dug through a bunch of rejected script ideas, polished them up and were likle “let’s just do this until Matt Smith is gone.” I’m anxious to get to Twelve.

Mass Effect Stuff

OK TECHNICALLY I haven’t finished ME3. I still need to do the party and the goodbye scene, (Citadel Epiloge Mod installed) but I’ve gotten all the Stuff and done all the missions in the arena. I just wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet, so I started Andromeda a bit early.

-----------------

OK look I had a point I wanted to make and never quite got where I wanted to go with it right here. I’m too tired of trying to fix it, so this stands as written.

This playthrough had me ruminating a lot on Kaidan and Garrus. I really love both of those characters, though in my heart I’ll always primarily love Kaidan, I’ve done the Garrus romance and wouldn’t mind playing that character again to see the romance one more time. In ME1, I bring Kaidan everywhere all the time, and pick which other companion I bring to the story-based missions based on what I know is gonna happen like I’m sure most people do. Wrex for Therum, Tali for Feros (though I REALLY wish you could switch before going to see the Thorian), Liara for Noveria, Ashley on Virmire, Garrus for Ilos/Endgame. I rotate through all five for sidemissions.

In ME2, Garrus is my always-bring companion, with Garrus + Miranda being my favorite team. Except after the Omega relay, where characters with Throw really shine with all those husks running at us, Jack holds the bubble, and Miranda and Thane, who both have Warp to help take down the Reaper Baby, are the preferred team. Also so Miranda can tell TIM to fuck off.

Then in ME3, once the game opens up, Garrus is back on the perma-team, with a preference towards bringing Liara along... until we get Kaidan back. And then I realized I didn’t bring him to a single thing except a side mission or two until Earth. Mostly, this is because I’m following the Kaidan Banter guide and it turns out Garrus is a real banter hog for most of the missions. At leat he’s not James, who I literally never use unless I’m going on an N7 mission and feel bad that I haven’t taken him off the Normandy in awhile. I mean, even Javik gets more play. Also EDI doesnt leave the Normandy til near the end when all of a sudden she gets real important.

But Garrus is always on the team for Priority Earth. And that always felt like the way the main game should end, with your two favorites. (Also what kind of monster wouldn’t bring Wrex to the combat-centric areas of Citadel DLC? I keep thinking I should have runs where I bring other people but... Wrex is my other fave and we don’t get him with us AT ALL since ME1.)

I love Garrus, so much. And I was thinking with this whole parallel DW rewatch / Mass Effect replay think I’m doing right now how both Rose Tyler and Garrus Vakaraian are characters that were ruined for me for awhile due to their respective... overly enthusiastic fanbases who a small percentage of were dicks to people who loved other characters. The Kaidan tag (and from what I understand Thane got some of this too, but not nearly as bad) was a pretty hostile place for awhile (and yeah I used to check the Garrus tag too and there was a small amount of tag-invasion there but uh, like 5% of what the Kaidan tag got) which made loving the character of Garrus a lot harder for awhile. But when actually watching seasons 1 & 2 / the end of 4 of DW, or actually playing the games, those characters are awesome.

Fanbases can be amazing or terrible, and time and time again I think you start to realize that no matter how great a fandom is, there are going to be a few people who can only enjoy themselves by feeding on drama, or on lifting up what they love by stomping on other people/characters/plotlines. Going back through my blog reminded me that even the TAH fandom had some of this, with a small percentage of fans being real dicks to two prominent female characters in favor of their favorite ship, which soured even that just a tiny bit.

It’s not fair to characterize everyone who loves a popular thing as someone who does this. It’s also hard to avoid completely because there will always be jerks, or young/new people who don’t realize what bad form they’re showing. I did learn by trying to fight it for a year or two, that responding might help that one person not do it again, but it’s not going to stop overall. Maybe yelling a lot about Martha Jones did change some people’s minds. It still isn’t that good of a look now, even knowing that in general I was pretty polite and logical about it. I might respond to an odd comment now and again in some favorite character tags, but in general, turns out that kind of fight just isn’t worth it.

And those fights seem so stupid in the light of everything else happening in the world today.

Anyway, don’t be a dick about the things you don’t like.

-----------------------

I also wanted to say, and I know I said it in a few other posts about this ME3 playthrough, but seriously I cannot believe how much ME3 is a changed game because of the modders. I cannot imagine ever playing ME3 again without these mods. There were so many small things that I kept thinking I should take note of to talk about and I’m sure I forgot 90% of them, but there’s things like... adding in mentions of the Andromeda Initiative, closing a few plotholes, mentioning Emily Wong, adding in many more Spectre console options which end up having their own plotlines, adding in an entire plotline about the VI civilization that had previously only been talked about in like, social media or Cerberus News Network posts, having the Normandy be so much more populated, seeing so many more other species on the Citadel with more variety in clothing for those species that have clothing / could have more variety, way more female Turians.... every time I play ME3 the game is more and more like the game we wanted when it came out.

I am kind of itching to go back and replay it even now.

But hey, instead, its time to talk about Andromeda.

-------------------------

So first of all, yes, mods for Andromeda. A few appearance mods, a lot of convenience mods.

After having recently played DA:I and I think Andromeda and DA:I are a lot more similar than Andromeda and the previous trilogy, I had decided it was time to cut down on the stupid stuff Andromeda does, like “Oh, you want minerals? Spend 10 minutes in each mining zone finding the PERFECT place to gather materials or you’re fucked” No, thanks. I’ll mine but give me that “one probe placed anywhere and you’re done” mod.

Make the modifications and crafting materials I use actually matter. 2% damage increase is nothing. Make my squadmates not suck because I remember doing 90% of the work myself before and that got exhausting with the number of spawns.

I tried to not go overboard so things feel like cheating, but there’s enough out there to just get rid of the stupid stuff, and it’s nice. And works together a lot easier than the DA:I mods did.

One thing I did do was install the Multiple Romance Mod. I enjoyed it in DA:I, even though ultimately I only did 2 full romances. I am **NOT** romancing Gil or Cora with the mod, I just wanted to experience all the content available for female Ryders at once, since I’m not going to have the energy to replay this 100+ hour game enough times to see every romance on its own. So I am poly-romancing Liam, Jaal, Vetra, Suvi, Peebee, Keri, and if it lets me, Reyes when it’s time.

I’ve only gotten all the way through Andromeda once (where I romanced Liam) My second playthrough was right after my first and stalled out about halfway through (was romancing Jaal.) It was one of those “I’m totally gonna get back to this! (She didn’t.)” things. I’m gonna be honest, I enjoyed the Liam romance and was enjoying the Jaal romance, I’d done a fling with Reyes but not the full romance my first time through and the fling with PeeBee on my second. Reyes was probably my favorite out of all of them. So this time I decided.. let’s see which I love the most, all at once. I don’t know if I’ll do this in the future, but this game is too long to not see all the content I wanna see, TBH.

And you know, I still really do like Andromeda. It’s a GOOD game. And I’m forever going to be mad that we’re not going to see how this story ends. This story deserved to finish being told. Like, there are a lot of very legit criticisms about Andromeda, but it didn’t deserve the harshness it got. And the worst thing about it, and DA:I both is that... there’s just a little TOO MUCH of it. 100 hours is an amazing amount of game but... it’s also just too much. For now I’m not trying to 100% this playthrough. My plan is on each planet to get the planet to 100%, take out the Kett or whatever major base, the Remnant Architect, and yeah probably clear out the sidequests that show up on the map, but fuck quests that are like “visit random Kett camps until you find the right datapads that don’t show up on the map!” or “scan random blobs in the forest that don’t show up on the map!”

So like, do the content, not the filler.

I still hate the vaults. The first one is cool. The rest are tedious. But they’re mandatory.

I love everyone on this spaceship though. They did the Tempest stuff SO WELL. All the companions I think are... good? There’s no one I don’t like, even the non-squadmate shipmates ship have so much interaction and so much to do/say. It’s not like “a bunch of randos and Joker, with occasional appearances by Chakwas and the Engineers” There’s no randos, it’s just a few people you have real interactions with, and its great.

The lack of enough beds in the bedroom will never not annoy me. There’s 4 beds for... Lexi, Liam, Cora, Suvi, Kallo, Vetra and Gil? Even if Liam slept on his couch, and Vetra put a bed in her supply room... still doesn’t add up. What, do Salarains not sleep or something? Does Lexi sleep in a medical bed?!? Peebee sleeps in the escape pod, Jaal brings a bed with him, and Drack’s like “Eh I’ll just sleep in the kitchen”. WHAT? THE KITCHEN?

I mean sure there weren’t enough beds, even with the sleeper pods, on the Normandy either, but somehow that was less disturbing.

Also, I know you’re supposed to HATE Director Tann but I love Kumail Nanjiani so I find it hard to be a total dick to him, even if he usually deserves it. If he wasn’t an anti-Krogan racist I think it’d be easier to like him. He was thrown into a pretty shitty situation and... did actually hold things together for some time. He’s not doing anything out of malice. He’s a dick, but also doing what he needs to do to keep the Initiatiave going. Oh, except for being a anti-krogan racist. (Honestly, I also think “until he turned Cerberus Udina was just doing his job pretty well” too, so...)

Taking some screenshots as I go. I mostly just take screenshots for me now. I have a few thousands screenshots from a dozen or more games rotating through my desktop background, and I keep adding to it, and love it.

Anyway, I’ve gotten Eos, Voeld and Havral to 100%. Time to go save the Moeshe. I’m having fun.

*edit from later* I’d forgotten that... idk if the dialog they recorded for Jaal was the first thing they recorded for him or they used a different VA or what but on the Save the Moshe mission his voice is VERY DIFFERENT and oh man, that is still bad.

Might take a break for when Onslaught comes out for SWTOR, though. I haven’t really played SWTOR in months. Oops.

#personal post tag thingy #annakie's mass effect stuff #doctor who stuff #hey this gets REAL RAMBLY sorry not sorry

4 notes · View notes

booksandchainmail · 5 years

Text

nanoha vivid liveblog: episode 11

Time for Corona vs. Einhart!

ok, i know wendi is referring to teo, but i did misinterpret at the start as einhart has been nicknamed kitty cat

... still better than most of the other contestants

attacking from the start, before corona can summon. it’s the obvious weakness of anyone who needs prep in the way she does

but shes ready for this it seems, and starts summoning while still in the air, which is pretty cool

oooh, i don’t think anyone else has used the terrain like this. makes you wonder how corona would fare in a larger or varied arena

damn. the goliath packs a punch

Einhart know the first rule of fighting someone with a summoned creature: directly attack the controller

Or in this case, separate her from the golem to where she’s vulnerable

Oh, seems like goliath needs pretty active instructions at all times, which means with corona knocked away, he just kinda stands there and gets hit

the most brutal attack of this match

I think we’ve seen elements in this in how corona started planning from the assumption that einhart could beat her: she’s very level-headed. That extending into combat is valuable, especially in a setting like this where her opponents are also amateurs and likely to falter under pressure. Though einhart might be less vulnerable to that, due to her war memories

her strengths fit her powers well. She literally creates in order to fight, and she needs to be strategic in order to get time and space to summon.

is she gonna stab einhart

This is a very calm match, in comparison to the others we’ve seen. It’s partly that theyre friends, and there’s no grudge driving them, but also just a lot who they are as people. Einhart and corona are both relatively quiet, but also self-assured. They have good understandings of their own abilities, and you can see that here in how calmly they return to the ring, theres no worry about running out of time or how theyre going to continue

flashback time!

I really love the range of motivations and backstories this show gives the contestants. You do have people with tragic backstories, or who want to prove themselves, or have a deep passion for martial arts, but you also have those who just value the connections it brings, or for whom its just an extracurricular. You don’t need to be deeply motivated to do something, it can still be a meaningful part of your life, and you’re not lesser or shallower for it.

I also like the idea (idk if this is canon) that Corona sought out summoning because she recognized that she couldn’t keep up with normal fighting. It’s a unusual thing in a fighting show to have a character who isn’t at the same level as everyone else, and who finds their own style that draws on different strengths.

this is a great summary of everyone’s motivations, but also einhart is hilariously incongruous with the others

OH SHIT I THOUGHT THE PARTIAL SUMMONING WAS HER NEW TECHNIQUE

HOLY

FUCKING

CHRIST

shes just knocking einhart around effortlessly

ooooooh

This makes a lot of sense for Corona’s character! She’s a clever and observant fighter who’s willing to innovate but not particularly talented, and who takes motivation primarily from her friends. Of course she studies their techniques, and of course she copies them

And no wonder einhart was caught off guard, it’s like she was suddenly fighting a different person

but einhart gets up

she’s spent her life struggling with hundreds of years of guilt and grief, and just keeps on going through all of that

i think klaus may have been defined by his loss, but einhart is defined by the strength it takes to carry that loss

…y’know, you could have rested a little bit before forcing yourself up, there was plenty of time

oh this is tricky. Can corona press an attack, which is definitely outside her normal mode of fighting, or does she give up the advantage she’s won here?

The other question is if corona also learned anything from rio, or from einhart herself, though I think using her own style against her could backfire badly

… if that’s based off vivio, it’s primarily a counter, and using it for a direct attack might not work as well

ducking like that is both well suited to the height difference, and one of vivio’s signature moves

most of how corona’s moving here fits vivio, or any of the more close quarter fighters we’ve seen, but that arm sweep looked new to me, and seems very indicative of corona’s fighting style. Calm, collected, redirecting the opponent.

and in contrast, you can see how panicked einhart looks, which is very unusual for her

Okay, things are looking bad for einhart here. But she’ll have a chance to heal, and I think the next round will go differently. A lot of corona’s success here is she’s brought out completely new techniques and styles, and einhart’s just been reeling most of the bout: all her fighting’s been very basic hand-to-hand, with basically no hegemon style attacks or more elaborate moves. But with a chance to collect herself and replan, I think einhart’s experience will let her adapt to this fairly quickly. Additionally, a lot of corona’s new moves are based off vivio, who einhart has fought (and beat) before.

so she has copied from rio as well

that’s a neat twist. It explains how she was able to pick these moves up so quickly, and how she can handle without any particular skill at martial arts. This also explains why Nove disapproved: I can’t imagine using techniques meant to control large amounts of stone on your own body is particularly safe.

That’s fucking cool.

And also a massive weakness, because it makes her predictable. If einhart can figure out what triggers one of those moves, then immediately counter based on knowing how corona will respond, she can retaliate very quickly

from your own memories, or klaus’s?

this is the complete opposite of how I’d expected an einhart vs corona fight to play out

yeah, she’s not just copying specific moves, but entire fighting styles. that is honestly incredible, especially when you consider she had to pre-program them all herself

awww, i’m glad to see she’s in there too

Having multiple settings gives corona a lot more flexibility…

...but einhart’s already figuring out the pattern

I can’t help but think this technique would work a lot better on anyone else. Corona has the disadvantage her of her opponent already knowing all the sources of her automated moves, but imagine a fight where one side keeps pulling out new completely unknown styles every couple of hits.

I guess that’s why this isn’t common

Oops

Yeah the other reason einhart can deal with this is she has a completely ridiculous level of knowledge about this one particular style

And corona is starting to fight wildly, while einhart remains calm. This is a complete reversal of the previous round

Holy fuck is that blood

~tempting faaaate~

and yup, automation is weak to feints from people who know the moveset.

Though to be fair, I don’t know if a non-automated fighter would have dealt with that any better

DOES THIS TOURNAMENT FOR CHILDREN HAVE SAFETY STANDARDS

PLEASE DO NOT MAGICALLY PUPPET YOUR OWN ENTIRE BODY

i feel like that would go badly

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

theres some excellent and creepy puppet imagery going on here

And einhart mostly just looks sad here. I’m guessing with memories of actual war, she’s not that happy about her friends pushing themselves this dangerously for a competition?

OR ITS ABOUT OLIVIE AGAIN

because this is einhart, and everything always comes back to olivie

But yeah, the puppet connection would be a bad reminder. And corona’s whole feeling weak compared to her teammates, and wanting to be able to stand next to them, seems like it connects pretty strongly to olivie’s story

she just looks so tired and sad here, and i’m remembering how happy she was at the idea of a way to fight without stakes, and she’s just now realizing that even if they aren’t lethal, there are still consequences to these matches

at this point, einhart is pretty in control of the battlefield. she’s brilliant at this kind of fighting, and corona doesn’t have any moves that einhart hasn’t already fought against

I’m starting to think this fight won’t end with an attack, but with corona just collapsing when her magic or body wears out

another connection to olivie with the damaged arms. this must be hell for einhart to have to fight

gods

just, can someone stop this match please? are there any kinds of precautions?

and here’s the hardest part for einhart. Because of her memories, she has a pretty unique first-hand perspective on war. I don’t think mid-childa has had a war, and certainly not recently enough to still have wartime soldiers around. And even with all the pain they cause her, there must be some comfort in the fact that olivie’s dream of peace was achieved, even at the cost of her life. But here, even in this peaceful world, there are still children willing to hurt themselves terribly in order to have the power to fight. And this must feel like such a failure and betrayal of the world to einhart.

THEN STOP

NO, GIVE UP PLEASE

THAT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM

i want nanoha to show up to stop the match and yell at everybody about techniques that excessively strain your body

THERES MORE?!!!??!!

ok, that’s a fair point. Corona has pulled out some really impressive moves here, but she hasn’t done much in the way of golem stuff. I wonder if in her rush to make up for her weaknesses, she’s discounted her own techniques too much?

finally

corona has amazing terrain manipulation abilities. combine that with her summoning, the automated moves, and even i guess the full body technique, and she’s maybe the most versatile fighter we’ve seen. In a larger area with unfamiliar opponents, or as support for a team, she’d be devastating.

all those anime characters who dramatically slice rocks in half with a sword have nothing compared to einhart

ooh, nice feint using the partial summon as well as the big one. even here at the end, corona continues to fight smart

and now she has a ranged attack as well. no matter the outcome of the tournament, i’m voting corona for mvp

awwwwww

and she uses binding magic as well, because apparently corona reacted to not being as good at punching people as her friends by learning EVERYTHING ELSE

bit of tonal dissonance, but awwwww kitty!

and her golem can reassemble itself.

corona is amazing

but einhart is the martial arts master, and she just stops it stone cold

what a hell of a match. this was definitely my favorite fight so far, and the finale’s gonna have a tough time topping that. The variety of techniques and strategies used, as well as the brilliant character work on corona and einhart, made this incredible to watch.

it was hard fought, and corona pulled out ten times what anyone expected from her, but in the end einhart managed a victory

but in the aftermath, she just looks defeated

this was a hard match emotionally on all sides

(i count myself as a side)

#magical girl lyrical nanoha vivid #nanoha vivid liveblog #nanoha vivid #magical girl lyrical nanoha #vivid #mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha #long post

6 notes · View notes

zippdementia · 5 years

Text

Part 70 Alignment May Vary: Escape from Hell

Situation: As the players destroy the chains around the demon train’s heart, they are forced through a passage that appears in the heart chamber, rushed up to the “brain” of the train, the front car engine room, where an old conductor with pits for eyes (and four eyes that may remind one of Verrick’s four eyes), tells them of their success in freeing him and his desire to help them murder devils. He also explains that Arbeyach has been left behind in a discarded train car, still living in the world that Arbeyach created for himself, but now unable to flee it.

Alyss tells the train their next destination: the tower of Mammon and the conductor smiles in anticipation. She uses her phone device to signal to the rebels where they are and their situation, then lowers herself to the ground to try and heal her hurts. Aldric returns her bike to her in a cool roleplaying moment and realizes that she is developing feelings for Carrick, which grows his enmity towards the Paladin.

The players also heal up: the soul stuff that Ratticus gave them heals their hurts completely and also cures the curse that was left upon them by Arbeyach.

Then, rushing across the desert towards the city and Mammon’s tower, the players have one more obstacle to face: they are waylaid by Hecate in her gunship as she tries to blow apart the demon train.

The demon train fight I’ve set up to be an unusual one: the players are pulled inside the train’s “skin” and actually fight AS the train against the gunship, combining their hitpoints and using the following rules:

Their life force combined makes up their hitpoints. AC is 10. Each turn player can choose either defense, maneuver, or attack (only attack can be multiple players). Hecate fires her ship’s weapons at the beginning of the turn. The player maneuvering through the canyons gets to dodge Hecate, adding to their base AC of 10 by a d20+Dexterity or Wisdom roll. The player on defense can subtract damage by a D20 roll + either constitution or charisma. If no one is on defense, this doesn’t happen. Hecate has the following attacks, and DM either chooses or rolls randomly to determine effect each round:

Missiles: 5 missiles at 6 (1d4+4) each. Instant success.

Dual Lasers: fire twice +13 to hit for 27 (5d10) fire damage

Bombs: Player on maneuver must make a dexterity DC 20 save or else take 39 (6d12) concusive damage, halved on a save. Failure means players roll at disadvantage for all attacks.

Power siphon: a harpoon that steals life. +15 to hit. If it hits, steals 26 (4d12) life, no subtraction.

Then players get to attack. Each player in the attack area can use their normal attacks, using spell slots and all of that as normal, but everything is amplified as the train mimics the attack with its own demonic version (so an attack with Imoaza’s scythe may manifest as clawed hands erupting from the side of the train and tearing into the gunship), adding two more damage dice, but no damage modifiers.

Hecate has 212 hitpoints and AC 19. Her saves are +7. She can’t be affected by conditions. She is immune to poison damage. If there are more than three players, she gets an extra attack for each weapon for every three players.

After a drawn out but dynamic fight where Hecate’s rage builds more and more and her mother, Imoaza, continues to taunt her more and more viciously, Hecate’s ship finally blows an engine and she crashes in the desert.

The players are told to cure up, get a short rest and they’ll be at the vault soon. Mammon interrupts their journey with another psychic visit to his throne room, but the players completely ignore him while he tries to offer deals and a chance to join his side. Like I pointed out before, he’s really grasping at straws here, and they know it. Carrick finally loses his anger, telling Mammon that he’s the lamest devil they’ve come across, and that the players give zero shits about him. Mammon takes the revelation calmly and informs them that they are ants to him, ants he was debating whether to crush or not. But now he’s made his decision. The psychic connection is cut and the players arrive at Mammon’s tower in a fairly spectacular way: the demon train crashes into the side of it, ripping it open, and deposits them inside, as close to the vaults as it can. Then it races off to fight a new, horrible threat, while the Hells Rebels arrive and Puck flies down from the sky to join them in their race to the vault of the crystals.

The Conductor let out a gleeful laugh, the sound odd coming from his weathered and cracked lips and completely out of place with the rest of his austere appearance. “When a demon dies in battle, our souls return to the Abyss! My greatest foe comes. Today I go out in a blaze of glory! Today is the day I go home!”

I’m going to take a break from my structure here to chat for a moment about the difficulty of setting challenge in Dungeons and Dragons, because it is highlighted by the next scene.

I know Xanathar’s guide and the DM’s guide both have different methods for setting and figuring out good difficulty for fights, but you really can’t know how something will go in Dungeons and Dragons until you are playing it. I have three players at level 12. Xanathar’s guide suggests CR 5 monsters will be a decent match for them. I want this vault to be guarded by Abishai tasked with ensuring that those who enter the vaults are worthy, so I pick two black Abishai and a White Abishai (CR 7s and 6, respectively) and run a fight against them as the beasts drop down from among rows of statues of similar looking monsters. It’s a cool set up, the Black Abishai causing the vaults to become shrouded in shadow which then gives the Abishai advantage on their attacks.

But in three rounds, the fight is over: the players wipe the floor with them!

I was ready in case this happened, and have a Green Abishai standing by. He is a CR 15, and he comes into the arena with his fear effect blasting across the room indiscriminately, terrifying not only the players but the surviving White Abishai. This fight is a little more dynamic and long lasting, as Carrick and Imoaza flee in fear and the Abishai takes over Aldric’s mind, commanding him to turn on his fellows. The fight could have gone either way, but a mixture of poor die rolls from the Abishai and Aldric mean Carrick and Imoaza get a moment to break him free from his mind control and turn the tide on the Abishai.

Side note: there is a fun moment where the Abishai leaves a suggestion implanted in Aldric and Imoaza’s mind to flee from him and go stand in a corner, a suggestion that carries on after the Abishai is dead, and leaves Puck and Alyss and Carrick arguing with them to get moving. It’s also where we develop something deeper between Carrick and Imoaza: Carrick uses the bond they established on The Arc to take her hand and break her from the spell’s hold with soft words. Imoaza, not used to feeling anything and with her emotional wall weakened by the suggestion spell, feels a twinge of something for Carrick. It’s upsetting for her and strange, but maybe a little exciting too. Alyss catches the moment and believes that Carrick and Imoaza are already a “thing” setting us up for all sorts of romantic comedy action later... if we want to go there.

After all of this, the players rush back to the hole caused by the Demon Train, Alyss having stored a ton of crystals in a bag of holding, and leap out of the hole onto The Arc, which swoops down to catch them. The monster the train was fighting (in fact, died fighting, its soul returned to the Abyss) was none other than Tiamet, Queen of the Dragons.

A ridiculously tough beast, I know the players can’t defeat her in a fair fight. I use her toned down stats from the Rise of Tiamet final fight, but even then this is a beast capable of one-shoting an entire party with a single breath attack. And yet Aldric also hits like a beast, able to take off over 40 hitpoints each turn he attacks something. So I have to do a lot of tweaking as the fight progresses in order to achieve what I want this scene to achieve: a crazy final fight as the party flees from Hell.

Captain Krisp ran around the deck of The Arc, shouting orders. His generals and confidants: Ikbaldi the Barbarian, Star the Tiefling, Tinia the Cleric, Otto the Warlock, Jacobs his First Mate, and Geth the Rogue, all leaped to their battle stations, manning guns and turrets and swiveling them all to point at the rear of the ship as Tiamet crashed into them, her claws and talons wrapping around The Arc and hugging it close to her like a cat about to tear into a trapped mouse. Her five heads darted and dove down at the ship, tearing metal and wood apart, dodging bullets (or seeming to ignore them) as the gunners launched assault after assault upon her, raining down a barrage that would have destroyed a fortress. Aldric, Imoaza, and Carrick stood their ground on deck, Aldric laughing as gleefully as ever the Demon Train had at the prospect of facing such a mighty foe. He ran forward and leaped towards the nearest head, even as it swung around to regard him with fire in its eyes.

I recently did a podcast where I talked about setting difficulty for encounters in DnD 5e. In it, I come to the conclusion that one of the best ways to go about creating good encounters is to let the game world and your plot tell you what needs to be where and to worry about the challenge afterwards. Basically, don’t build with numbers: build with story.

In this case, I know I want Tiamet to be the final fight and I want it to be tough, really more of a feel of surviving a siege than a fist fight with a god where they are going to knock her out. Tiamet is (and rightfully so) way above their pay grade. But I also don’t want the fight to be impossible or a straight party kill. That’s why I have Krisp’s team launching barrages of attacks at her, and also why Puck steps in to use some pretty incredible high level magic to shield and block the worst of Tiamet’s attacks (we don’t yet know the limits of Puck’s powers, but the effort does seem to wear him down).

I also don’t want this to be a fight without consequences, so I let the situation and character choice determine where the danger is. For instance, I let the players roll damage for all the gun barrages being launched each turn. I don’t use all of Tiamet’s legendary breath attacks. And when she does unleash her attacks, I make one of them poison (which Imoaza is immune to). Even when she finally unleashes her signature fire breath, rather than make it about pure numbers, where Tiamet’s attacks are left at their full power, I use Puck to reduce damage to a more reasonable place for the player level. I also really focus my attacks on Aldric, who is insistent on taking on Tiamet directly, which to me is letting the player character steer this fight. Aldric is playing it like a crazed bad ass, which means he’s drawing the focus of the attacks. After lasting two orounds in close quarters with Tiamet, he does fall unconscious, and here is where Krisp finally rushes forward with a rocket launcher, lobs a missile into Tiamet’s mouth, and calls to everyone to get below deck, that he’s got a final plan.

There is one last challenge I place here. In order to let Carrick grab Aldric and flee, Imoaza places herself in the line of danger to distract Tiamet for one more round. This works, but then Imoaza has one chance, one dodging roll, to get away from Tiamet before she gets hit by a bite attack from the Goddess of Dragons. She makes the roll, but had she failed, the damage certainly would have killed her and we would have to roll up a new character. It’s a moment that creates the mood I want, it takes this fight from the status of story battle to one of real consequence and danger, but I don’t just throw it in: it’s set by player decision and action.

Imoaza rolled forward through the open hatch leading into the belly of The Arc, jaws snapping shut behind her in a rush of hot air and sparks. She stumbled to her feet and kept running as the jaws tried to force their way through the narrow opening.

She soon caught up with Carrick and Krisp and Krisp’s commanders. Aldric was coming to, having been cured by Carrick’s magic. Krisp was yelling into a phone: “Alyss, is everything ready? The crystals are in place? Good! Then let’s do this!”

Krisp--talking a mile a minute about how everything had to come together in a spectacular fashion in order to make this all work and about how hell was never going to be his forever home--leads them down to the hold of The Arc, where the bottom of the ship has opened up to reveal The Surveyor’s repaired massive ship flying beneath them. Krisp tells everyone to jump down, and crew and commanders alike rush to obey, Carrick and Imoaza joining them. Last to go is Aldric and Krisp himself, who stands for a moment looking around the now empty hold.

“She was a good girl,” Krisp says, his voice uncharacteristically sad. “She served well. I’ll be sorry to lose her.” Aldric places a hand on his shoulder. “As a fellow captain, I know what it’s like to lose something. To lose your mount.”

Krisp smiles. “Well, if we are going to lose her, let’s let the girl go out in style, eh?”

He pulls a device with a large red button on it from his waistcoat, then pushes the button. He grabs Aldric and leaps out of the hold with him, shouting his catchphrase: “Let’s get Krispy!”

And behind them, there is a sudden roar as The Arc explodes in a ball of intense flame, engulfing Tiamet who is still wrestling with her prize. They do not see if it is the end of the Dragon Goddess, for they are pulled inside the Surveyor’s Ship and the hatches battened down behind them, and then there is a sudden jolt as the ship, their new Arc, blasts out from the atmosphere and leaves the world of Hell behind, for the vastness of space, and the first step on the long journey home.

Epilogue

Somewhere out in the blasted desert of Hell, Hecate pulls herself from the crash of her ship and rolls onto the hot red rock. She coughs up black tar and smoke and wheezes as she sucks in clean air. Her eyes are slits of rage as she looks towards the city where her foes disappeared. She shakes a fist of rage towards the sky as she manuevers her snake away from her crashed gun ship.

“Mother!” she screams. “I will have my revenge!”

And then, unexpectedly, a voice answers her from behind. She turns and sees something unusual discarded on the rock behind her, a sword, black as night, and emanating all the power that it had promised to its last bearer, before Aldric lost it and Carrick refused to bring it back. Blackrazor speaks to Hecate, and its voice is pure menace:

“Did I hear you say revenge?

#dungeons and dragons #Dnd 5 #Blackrazor #Hell #Planar #Campaign Journal #Alignment may vary

3 notes · View notes

vinodiriso · 5 years

Text

DOOMFIST’S IDEOLOGY + TALON + VARIOUS STUFF RANT*:

*: which is gonna be a little rambling and not polished but I NEED to put it down.

Adeyemi offered Ogundimu the chance to fight with him as a mercenary. Initially wary, Ogundimu accepted, and discovered that he now had an arena in which he could unleash his enhanced capabilities.

Initially wary, Ogundimu accepted, and [...]

Initially wary.

INITIALLY WARY.

Do you realize the implications in this? Do you undestand that Adeyemi has literally shaped Akande’s mind and that at first Akande would have NOT wanted to start a war? What got his blood pumping was being able to fight again. And after all, it wasn’t like he was killing men, right?

Eventually, Adeyemi brought him into the Talon organization. Talon's belief that humanity would be made stronger through conflict resonated with Ogundimu's personal experiences. Moreover, Talon's power struggles presented a new challenge that allowed him to use his talent in the boardroom along with his cunning as a combatant.

Bold first. “Only through conflict do we evolve” seems like it has not come to Akande naturally, but it was suggested to him by a newly-born Talon; he has picked it up because when Akande lost his arm, he lost not only a limb, but a purpose. Akande does not hate Omnics blindly because they are not human, Akande fears for the humanity losing their place as the predominant species because Omnics are perfect machines. But how does humanity reach its pinnacle? When does humankind and its grandiosity come to the light? In a struggle situation and, specifically, in wartime. Military machines are among the most complex works of engineering ever produced by the man, and most civil inventions have been made possible BECAUSE the roads to them had been paved by war machines.

Akande lost his arm and his will to live because of the war. Akande acquired a new, perfect limb to substitute his old one (which shows how Akande is not against Omnics because they aren’t flesh and blood, since he is ready to take his own out [aka, hand cannons and cyberwire etc] to even the odds of a limited human nature) and was able to overcome his mental and physical obstacles. “Through conflict do we evolve.”

More on “Akande’s relationship with Omnics” subject: Maximillien. Akande respects Max greatly and he was in fact the first person Akande went to visit after his release to get “the lay of the land”, a.k.a. what the fuck has been going on in my organization when I was away? And Maximillien seems to know Akande has faith in him. But more on it somewhere else; my point is, Akande has no problem working with Omnics to the point that he trusts Maximillien (an omnic) more than Vialli (a human).

Now, italics. I mentioned earlier how Talon had to be a newly born organization when Akande first joined. My guess (and what will be canon for this blog from now on) is that Adeyemi himself and a group of others had created it; after all, Adeyemi was known as “The Scourge of Numbani”, while the guy before him (Adhabu Ngumi) was “The Saviour”. It’s quite the gap. Why am I convinced of this? Akande was a recruit, as it is read in his official biography I quoted earlier (“Eventually, Adeyemi brought him into the Talon organization”), yet he was still very early allowed into the council board. This means two things:

A) Adeyemi was a big name into Talon because his recruit is pretty special

B) Talon had so urgent power struggles they would let a recruit take care of them; which suggests they hadn’t other competent leaders -> which suggests Talon was just recently founded.

If we consider that Akande may have lost his arm when he was ugh... 20, I guess? and got the cybernetic one in substitution when he was 23, got recruited when he was 25, this leaves us a whopping 12 years before Retribution, when it is implied by McCree that “new faces stepped up to fill the void in Talon”. In those 12 years, Akande and the other Talon members worked to bring their baby into the world. Same project, new rules: now it is not just the Omnics that Talon needs to face, it’s governments, it’s politcs, it’s money, it’s economy, it’s people, it’s military, it’s Overwatch. Akande still pursuits his original goal: to strengthen humankind, and he is ready to take on the world to make sure it will be realized. Be mindful of one thing: ideals and ethic are two separate things. Akande is a greatly idealistic man, but he has no morals and no ethic. He is “move, or get run over”.

Do you undestand how FAR he has come, how DIFFERENT of a man he has become since he FIRST JOINED ADEYEMI? He has transitioned from being “initially wary” of Talon’s methods to fully embrace Talon’s vision that “that humanity would be made stronger through conflict“. But if Akande has become a homo novus... there is no more place for whom hasn’t taken to his same pace.

Adeyemi was a useful asset to Talon, but the organization saw far greater potential in Ogundimu, with his intelligence and his ability to inspire as a commander. While Adeyemi was content to profit from raids on Numbani, Ogundimu had a grander vision. This difference in aspiration would lead Ogundimu to kill his teacher and take on the mantle of Doomfist, along with the eponymous gauntlet. As the new Doomfist, Ogundimu rose high in Talon and helped to orchestrate a conflict that the organization hoped would someday engulf the world.

Now, mark my word: it was hard for Akande to kill Adeyemi. Adeyemi was his mentor, the man who showed him everything. If you wanna envision it, try to think of it as McCree and Reyes relationship. Do you think McCree would kill Reyes (even Reaper) so lightly? No. But Talon was no longer the organization Adeyemi had founded, they had moved forward, they were not anymore moneygrabbers trying to enrich themselves over war misfortune, they are now the beacon of human progress.

This is why Doomfist is such a complex character so terribly, beautifully flawed. Just from SCRATCHES of his bio you can get a handful of how layered he is, how many takes one can have on him, how convoluted and sublime his mind is. He is really a beautiful VILLAIN and y’all should really start understanding how VERY FUCKING DIFFICULT would it be to get something past him. Alright, I am done.... for now.

#akande doomfist ogundimu.#doomfist (headcanon)#save #overwatch content #long post #meta post

5 notes · View notes

kmp78 · 6 years

Text

I came, I saw, I (little bit) konquered 💪

First of all: apologies for this mega massive post! 😂

But I wanted to fit everything in one, so that´s the way it has to be!

Big thanks to lovely Stockholm for being a very gracious host and taking such good care of this world-weary traveler! Let´s start off with some general sights before getting down to the nasty business of Mars!

I have to say that seeing those posters for the 1st time in the flesh made me quite giddy indeed...

BUT NOW! On to the main event...

The M&G took place a few hours before the show, and arrangements were top grade, gotta give props when props are due!

These two ladies were really lovely and seemed like PROS at what they do and yet POLITE towards us even tho this was probably the 3000th M&G they were handling. I have no complaints!

We were escorted to a small meeting room type of area right next door to the stage area, and at first I figured I wasn´t even gonna bother fighting the hoards for the 1st row seats, but then I heard Reni saying there was one spot left - and I leaped into action.

At the M&G room Reni explained the rules and game plan for the evening. No personal/private questions, no simple yes/no questions, no groping during the pics, no running to the concert area (there were near-catastrophic incidents in Prague some days ago, some girls ran like cray and tripped and fell and created a domino effect and it was a mess...) and so on. 🙄

Reni asked us who has listened to the album (most raised their hands) and who has not listened to the album (me and few others raised ours... Hihi...), and what people´s fave songs were.

Then we got back to talking about the potential questions again, and she encouraged people to ask about the new album (*COUGH* REMEMBER THIS LATER AS YOU READ ON *COUGH*), or if you want advice etc.

Not that I cared much anyway, but seeing as she did not seem to touch upon “that topic” at all, I decided to try my luck and asked:

“What about the “elephant in the room”?” 🐘

The room fell silent and there were some dramatic “Oooooooh´s” coming from my fellow VIP peeps.

Reni´s face went serious and she quietly said “No”, as was fully expected.

I pressed on.

“How come?”

Reni: “Because we would rather... It´s a personal matter. Of the band.”

Me: “So we´re never gonna get any explanation?”

Reni: “It´s a personal matter... And until he doesn´t decide... It´s not in our...”

And that was it! That´s the explanation I managed to squeeze out! Sorry, guys! I tried, but... 😞

I´m totally not the only one who reads that to mean that IT WAS TOMO´S OWN DECISION TO WALK AND IT´LL BE HIS DECISION IF/WHEN HE COMES BACK, right?! And that the band has no say in it, and they have no clue if and when the situation gets resolved?! Right?!

UGH! 😠

Then Reni went on to explain that if someone was there specifically to meet TM, they could get a refund but they would have to leave immediately.

Total bs “offer” because there ain´t NO ONE coming to these things just to meet TM, but whatever... I did contemplate if I should ask for a partial refund because I only got partial Mars, but chose to let it slide. Not even worth it.

One guy in the audience commented “Good question”, so I guess I wasn´t alone with my queries! It may have been Gustavo, I dunno.

Before the band came in, people kept busy by asking the crew a few questions.

And at this point I would like to offer a MEA CULPA and sincere apologies to the person/persons who I battled with some weeks ago when Reni´s home land was a topic. See, as luck would have it, one of the VIPs asked the staff where they were from, and Reni said “I´M ORIGINALLY FROM MEXICO”, so yeah... Haha! I giggled quite a lot... Sorry, anon/anons! I was indeed wrong! Shayla said she´s from NYC, Inaki also from Mexico and Diana (I think that was her name...?) from Brazil.

Shayla mentioned that she is kinda jetlagged. Reni said she´s usually pretty good with it.

Then they plugged Camp Mars (a few people had no idea what Camp Mars even is...) and lured us to buy with big promises of hangings with the band during the most magical weekend of the year.

“The band is also there all day.”

Reni also inquired if people would be interested in attending Camp if they by some miracle happened to arrange it in Europe. Most people were eager, no surprises there.

Someone asked if Camp could be arranged earlier in the summer, and Reni said no because the Malibu Camp site is occupado until August.

Another one asked if Camp is getting bigger, to which Reni replied that “It´s getting better. I would not say it´s getting bigger because the number of people for the past 2 times has been exactly the same, which is 200.”

So there we have it. An official number.

Well, as official as these people are ever gonna admit, anyway... 🤷

Then we voted for our fave songs from the new album. “GWO” won.

(I voted Tabasco. 🤗)

Someone wanted to know if they were gonna play “GWO”, and Shayla said nope because they have not rehearsed it.

Of course not! 🤷

Then we swiftly moved on to the “Kumbaya” moment of the evening where Reni asked if someone knows how to sing, and some dude said yeah, so he came up front and started singing WoW.

Now this is just my opinion, but sitting there listening to an almost Sunday church-like hysterical pathos... Worshipers partying and yelling out the lyrics as if God himself was within hearing distance...

I did not know I needed that in my life. 😱

Then Reni we needed to “make some noise so they´ll come faster”.

Is... is that what VK does too? 🤔

I dunno, but we did.

It did not help. 😴

To kill even more time, we did the obligatory “Where is everyone from?” round. I stayed silent. Surprisingly it seemed like almost half of the peeps were non-Swedes! The woman next to me was also from Finland. Wooooop!

Someone asked if the band is gonna do festivals, and Reni listed some upcoming dates. I don´t know why people don´t GO ONLINE to find out this stuff, but... 🤷

The crew also mentioned they have days off on occasion, Helsinki was mentioned as one of their days off, which kinda maybe means that the band will be arriving tomorrow and hanging for a whole day before the gig on Wednesday... Uuuuuuh!

Then all of a sudden...

DOORS FLUNG OPEN AND ANGELS SANG PRAISES! 🎺

Well no, it was just echies screaming and clapping. 🙏

JL and SL sneaked in from the stage area and the masses of course went bananas.

I still sat in silence and watched. 👀

The bros had a table and chairs, but never sat down. Instead they stood and placed one foot ON THE CHAIR, as all civilized peeps do.

JL asked if anyone was at the previous gig, and mentioned that it has been a really small show, but this one would be the smallest (arena holds max 3500 people). Last night apparently was “INCREDIBLE”, one of the better shows on the tour.

For some reason (pffft...) he spotted some German chicks who I guess were twins or smthg, I wasn´t really paying attention. Anyway, he mentioned “We always need more twins in our lives”.

Echies naturally giggled because OMGGGGGGGG HILAAAARIOUS, and JL went on to explain that “Hey our grandfather had a twin”.

SL quipped that maybe he or JL will have twins, and JL mentioned that he and JR argued about the twin gene skipping a generation or smthg like that. 🙄🙄

Then he spotted some chick in the front row who had big muscles (no she did not btw) and asked her if she´s a trainer or smthg. JL mentioned that he just recently started working out again so he keeps looking at muscles.

Uh huh. 🙄🙄🙄

On/off SL gave looks around the room, and I got some too. He did not smile, not even a crack. Meh.

THEN IT WAS FINALLY Q AND A TIME!!! 🙏 😈

Some dude asked how hard it is to get a workout on the road.

SL said the recovery is the most challenging part. I guess he meant recovery from the shows.

JL says the 2 hours on stage are the hardest, and then the rest of the time should be spent by doing nothing.

That last part might be more familiar to some in the band than others... 🤔

Some woman from Ohio, USA was picked and I guess she yammered on about herself a bit too long because JL interrupted her speech with a very stern “QUESTION!” (we all know that tone... Hihi!), and she asked if there were any “Aha!” moments when making the album.

I suppose she did not mean “Aha! We totes should wrap this whole shit in Americana even tho it has fuck all to do with it!”...

SL said the 1st thing that comes to mind is “Rescue Me”. Apparently they´ve had that song for 10 years and have had people help them work on it (WHOOOO?!), and the last person they worked on it with caused them to have an “Aha!” moment when they realized they were actually going to finish it.

I´m sure we all share that amazement...

JL said he remembered sitting down during TIW in his home in Fredonia (his old home) with a synthesizer and the verse and the chorus are still the same. Lyrics have changed. The chorus used to just be “Rescue me, rescue me” without anything else, and 5 years later he was sitting on a plane and the current chorus started forming in his head. The song used to have a “pre-chorus” too. “He said” or “She said” (I could not make out which, or maybe both) before the main chorus.

He said the lesson in that is to never give up because you never know what can happen. Sometimes songs happen quickly, like “A Modern Myth” which he said he wrote in 5 minutes, and SL wrote “Remedy” fairly quickly. Finishing songs usually takes him longer than coming up with a song.

Next guy asked about creative differences between Album 1 and Album 5.

JL said you can still hear the same band on both albums.

(GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BAND MEMBERS, MAYBE... 🙄)

He listed all the elements the new album features. He said he thinks a song like “Echelon” could totally be on the new album.

Next up a woman who said she was studying to be in the music business asked what she could do to make sure no other artist has to deal with what Mars had to deal with (lawsuit etc.).

JL´s advise: Don´t sign a record deal unless you absolutely have to. Spread your music via social media and other platforms.

(I know he was talking about EMI specifically, but I could not help thinking there might have been some Interscope crumbs in there too...)

The woman clarified that she meant more from the music label/business side and not the artist side. Jl responded “Go work for Spotify”. He went on to say that record companies and people can be great too, but the deals are the problem. They should be transparent and available online. It´s the last kind of “gangsta business” where you can really take advantage of people.

Some dude mentioned that he saw Mars 11 years ago when they opened for Linkin Park in Europe. JL remembered that tour, SL did not.

I guess he asked what it feels like to go from there to here (I wasn´t really listening because meeeeeh), and SL tried to come up with smthg intellectual and deep but it just sounded so ridiculously pathetic it´s not even worth mentioning. Smthg about just living and maturing and evolving as human beings. 💤

He also said they are really fortunate to still be together as a band (*SNORT*) because lots of bands from back then don´t exist anymore.

JL said this feels like a new and fresh chapter. Like his inner child. Like a reboot. Like they just got a facelift (HOLD YOUR LAUGHS, PLEASE). The new songs live are apparently “pretty INCREDIBLE”.

“I know some people are like “Where´s the guitar?” and “Where the heavy music?” but I think it´s still pure 30 StM.”

He also called the new album very dark and “lyrically on point”.

His point might be somewhere waaaaaay off the playing field tho, but...

Some chick with pink hair was up next and JL said he was gonna dye his hair pink but now he can´t.

SL said dyeing wrecks your hair and JL said his hair can´t take another bleaching.

And yes, you guessed it, folks. Fangirl giggles and swoons galore!

Her actual question was about Mars music feeling ancient or smthg, again I was totally not even paying attention because I DON´T CAAAAARE. Sorry but these questions were fucking USELESS. 👎

Anyway, SL blabbered on about them being from an “old place”. JL said everyone has missed the point that they made the album by using modern American sounds like Hip Hop and Pop etc. and that WoW is a giant political FUCK YOU.

Except not too long ago he gave that interview to a Finnish journo and specifically banned political questions, but okay... 👌

He said it´s exciting to see people from different countries singing that song with so much passion that sometimes he almost feels like they need to escape through the back door (he was kidding).

Next that same guy who sang during the pre-M&G stood up and congratulated the band on the new album. JL in return congratulated the guy on his hair (= a poofed up semi-mullet kinda thing) and they chatted a bit about his hair. Soooo riveting... 😫

The dude said one of his fave songs is “Convergence” and he asked about spirituality or smthg. Again, not interested...

JL said the last album was only 7 songs and the rest were fillers (well he didn´t say fillers but I´m saying it), and this new one is 11 songs and only 1 filler.

While JL was still yammering on his response to the mullet dude, I made my move and raised my hand HIIIIIGH - and when he finally finished his looooong sermon JL turned my way and...

Oh uh! It's Go time! 😱

⚠️ Little background info first! ⚠️

I obviously had thought of a few questions before coming to the M&G, just to prepare for the off-chance an opportunity might present itself. My options ranged from "Why did you call us Screaming Fat Girls?" to "Why did I have to pay 400 for this when 20 yo models get it for free?" and beyond. Yes I even toyed with the idea of sneakily slipping VK into the mix... 🙃

But sitting there as the M&G went on and listening to the other questions and studying the room's vibe, I started feeling my questions were all... wrong. They started feeling like I would just be purposely asking for trouble and causing a stink and potentially ruining the event, which was not my intention at all.

I started feeling like I needed to ask smthg current, smthg that has relevance in this day and age, smthg that hopefully gave us some answers to the questions we have been pondering about on the blog, smthg that would make you peeps proud, smthg that would not be a waste of a question - and yes, smthg that maybe poked a little hole into his massive ego at the same time! 🤔

So with all that criteria in mind, I went into battle...

Me: "Hi, speaking of the album, have you read or heard the reviews? Because some of them were... not very kind...?

JL: "This newest album?"

(NO DUMMY I WANNA KNOW IF YOU READ THE REVIEWS FOR THE ALBUM YOU RELEASED IN 2002!!! 🙄🤦‍♀️)

Me: "Yeah."

JL, staring right at me, with the snarkiest and bitchiest voice and most passivest aggressivest demeanor:

"Well thanks for bringing that up."

😱😱😱

His reaction both in words and in vibe (and the reaction from the room aka loud gasps, few hisses and cheers after he "lashed out" at me) was worth all the money I paid for that M&G, I don't even mind telling you!

SL also chimed in with “Yeah, thanks for bringing that up” but at that moment I was so focused on JL´s face that I completely ignored SL´s whining and existence - not to mention that every single molecule inside me screamed “HALLELUJAAAAAAAAH!”

So yeah basically I just sat there going...

While he stared at me throughout that little exchange, he most def could sense the snark in my question, and I most def could sense the snark in his reply. Naaaw... Just a couple of petty snarks sharing a moment... 🤣🙊😍

#BucketList ✔

I guess that is what an orgasm of the mind feels like. ☺

And btw...

"Thanks for bringing that up"?

Honey, with the amount of shit we have on you, you should be very #Grateful I only brought THAT up! 🤨

Anyway, the room kinda “erupted” with little gasps and hollers and whatnot, and after that initial "explosion" SL took over and started "grilling me" about my choice of question.

"That's your question? You wanna know if we read and what´s our response to the bad reviews?"

I replied “Yeah, I wanna know”.

SL said he had not read any.

Okay, but... Why did you just jump on my throat about that topic then...?

He continued that everyone has opinions and tastes and attitudes and personalities and colors (???) and stuff... He said he can´t pay attention to it, he can only focus on what he did and the band did, and he feels great about it. He said he is secure in himself and his “bro”, as he called JL.

Then JL took over and in a very explanatory manner (calm voice this time) said that these days everyone is a critic. He said on social media any person´s opinion is as important as a reviewer´s. He also said he thinks a lot of the criticism revolves around the “Where is the rock?” argument, and that they are probably right.

“It´s not a rock album.”

Followed by a LOOOOONG silence.

A silence which was only interrupted by SL going “Well, there you go!” in a triumphant manner. Echies of course applauded, and then suddenly JL picked up again:

“Don´t be fooled, we knew EXACTLY what we were doing. But let me just tell you something: we have NEVER gotten good reviews. Even when we made rock albums. So... Nothing really changes...”

At this point it again felt like he was getting ready to move on, but NO! He still kept going!

“I have a feeling lot of it has to do with me...”

That Gustavo dude piped up with “Jealousy...”, but JL ignored that comment and continued:

“It just has to do with me being in the band... I don´t think people wanna let that slide...”

SL commented “Fucking weird...” and then after a short silence went “Great” in the most “NON GREAT” way imaginable. Kinda like when you spill juice all over yourself and go “Great”.

So with that “NON GREAT” “GREAT”, this topic was now finished and my time in the spotlight was over.

I will point out that while pretty much everyone who asked a question before me got a “Thanks for the question” comment, I did not...

😭😭😭

BEFORE WE MOVE ON - QUICK ANALYSIS ON MY Q AND HIS A:

I think what we learned here are 3 things:

1. Poor SL really thinks he contributed to this album and has reason to be proud. 🤷‍♀️

2. JL is indeed VERY aware of the bad reviews and backlash his latest offering brought him. 😭

3. JL is also aware of the "bad rep" he has. Not just for the "Oh he's an actor trying to be a singer" thing which he has battled since Day 1 (which I'm sure he was mostly alluding to), but also that currently (= after SS) he gets ridiculed and judged on a whole new level.

I mean, the way he almost dragged the topic on and felt like he had to add “just one more thing”... Kinda felt like he was trying to convince not just us but himself as well... 🤨

Anyway, feel free to send feedback and thoughts on this! Did I do good?! 😜

Okay back to the M&G!

The next person asked what would they say to their younger selves.

JL wouldn’t wanna say anything because “We’re in a pretty good place right now in life and career… I guess I’d say "Take a deep breath… It’s gonna be alright. Don’t pay attention to the reviews.”“

Ooooooh... Still feeling butt-hurt from the previous Q, are we… ? 😏🤭

The next Q was asked with such a heavy-accented English I had NO IDEA what he asked, but apparently JL did because he managed an answer. It was smthg about the Mars symbols (the triad). 🤷🏼‍♀️

The next chick started off my saying "I just wanna say I love you and adore you” and I almost yelped out “MR. KAUFMAN IS ALREADY TAKEN!” but managed to keep my emotions in check.

Her question was a pretty good one: “Why did you come up with the name "Monolith” for the tour", she said she (like all of us!) did not get it.

JL said the name comes from the giant screen on stage and the giant box thing as well, which of course for this tour they could not fit through the doors.

Next question was “Why did you call the album "America” when it talks about universal issues?“

JL: "I think the idea of America is universal (FUCK OFF ALREADY DICK IT SO IS NOT) and everyone has an opinion (WANNA KNOW MINE?) and the songs are universal. I think what’s going on in our country is probably going on in other countries. I don’t think we’re the only country thinking about things like immigration, the right and the left, what kind of a world we want to live in, what kind of a future we want. I just thought it was an interesting time and an interesting word. It really isn’t political title, it’s more of a concept (🙄🙄🙄), that’s why I liked all the lists that we came up with because they were so bizarre and funny and provocative. They do give you a sense of the time we’re living in.”

He went on to say that in 100 years people will be able to look at them and go “Oh, that was that crazy group if people that was alive between this time and that time and that fucking guy was president in America!”

Oh my! Look who’s getting all feisty again! Dare you to say that publicly tho!

During this question the noise from the soundcheck taking place in the next room went up a few notches and Stevie´s high-pitched screams almost overpowered the Letos... They made some jokes about SA´s screams. 😂

And of course he kept with the “The name “America” inspired the film that we made that´s coming out later this year, the trip across the country... Did anybody follow it on social media? (I MAY HAVE...) The Museum of America in LA and many other things that we´ve done. I dunno, I just thought it was an interesting container.”

In relation to the previous question, JL also mentioned that he had an alternative title for "America" which he admitted (?) he sometimes thinks he should have used:

“ERA”.

As in this era we are now living in.

YOU GOD DAMN DILL!!!!! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN 40 GAZILLION TIMES BETTER THAN "AMERICA"!!!!!

🤬🤬🤬

I seriously almost screamed out loud when he said that... I can't even deal with him! 😠

He said that title would have been “a little more global but a little more boring”.

NO, DILL! YOU AND YOUR BEDWARMERS ARE GLOBAL AND BORING! THAT TITLE WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT!

😠

The last question came from a woman next to me (fellow Finn btw! 😃🇫🇮) who told us that she's a teacher and she asked what inspires them etc.

JL said that “sometimes I´m not inspired” (REALLY? Never would have guessed...) and that “at that point you just have to rely on muscle memory and to just put one foot in front of the other and keep marching forward... Someone asks a question you don´t like (WHO?! WHO ASKED A QUESTION YOU DID NOT LIKE?! 🙊), you deal with it... You have to do some part of your job that´s tedious (like... the actual working part?), you push past it... I think a lot of times it´s just showing up... You can surprise yourself. You start a conversation, you start a concert, and before you know it you´re lost in the concert and you´re enjoying your time.”

SL said what helps is “getting rid of the fucking trash in the head. If I feel distracted or there´s a lot of stuff going on in my head that doesn´t have anything to do with what I wanna do, I have to get rid of it. Meditation helps, hanging out with cool people (LOOOOOOOOL), yoga, taking a walk...”

And that was it! Show over! JL thanked us for coming and then...

Picture time! 📷

We lined up in the hallway and practically RAN through the stage they had set up for the pic.

Seriously it was RIDICULOUS! Felt even faster and more North Korean than in Getafe! We all legit had no more than 2 seconds to pose and then we were pushed out! 😑

Total bs. No other way to put it. Treated like actual cattle. 🐄

Anyway, I had a plan ready again and as I stepped up to SL who kinda "yanked me" between him and JL (not in a bad way but just kinda like "let's just get this over with FAST"), I said to them:

"Okay guys, let's smile like I'm a model."

🤭🤭🤭

Now, I don't know if they heard me or bothered listening (or in "someone's" case even understood what I was hinting at), but it def made me feel giggly... 😜

Anyway, end result is this:

I think JL may have gotten what I was implying, or perhaps he was still salty about my earlier question, but he def pushed my back to get me to leave the area after the pic. 🤷🏼‍♀️👉🚪

Altho he probs does that to everyone, especially those who are not 20-smthg Russian models, but… Oh well. Kinda made me smirk even more! 🤣

Or perhaps it was my shirt which ruffled his feathers? 🤔

Wanna see a close-up?

BOOM.

Tell you this much: online T-shirt printing businesses and 20€ sure provide a lot of satisfaction. 😏👕💳

And even tho I once again got only 20 Secs (Jfc… 😂), I still managed to sneak TM into my pic, sooo… 😎💁🏼‍♀️

More closeups:

Thanks GOD he looks more than decent in mine!

And c´mon now, Jarry. I think we all know you can go bigger than that.

Jaw seems to work a-ok...

And yes, I watermarked them because that´s how I roll, homies!

After the pics we were given our VIP merch: black beanie (not bad! I might actually wear that…), plastic badge (who the fuck needs these?!), a canvas tote bag (meh ok) and a signed poster.

TRY TELLING ME BOTH THOSE SIGNATURES ARE NOT FROM THE SAME DAMN ALMOST-WORN-OUT PEN… 😂😒🖋

We were also allowed to stay in the M&G room and check out the official merch stand (pffffft! Did not buy a fucking thing as everything looked so uggo).

This tho...

After about an hour of waiting, we were finally led into the actual concert area. As some of you saw from my IG posts, this was not a regular MonolOth tour gig, but more a club gig. The set was completely different, no monolOth anywhere, and stage was not in the middle of the room.

I noticed there was a balcony area too and I marched up to a security guy to ask if it was ok to go up. He said yeah but only 100 people are allowed up so I needed a special ticket, which he then handed me and told me I needed to give it back if/when I came down again so someone else could use my place up there. Very smart security move!

Being as tiny as I am and as claustrophobic as I am, I knew standing in a sea of people and not even seeing a fucking thing was not a viable option, so I chose to wander up to the balcony - and oh man, that was the best decision I could have made! I scored a prime spot right up front and had full “skyview” of the whole room! Lucky move also because without the balcony spot, that IG Live would have been quite difficult to pull off…😏😄

JR’s DJ set was about as useful as sledgehammer when washing windows, so there’s no need to even discuss it. Literally maybe 7 people actually listened and cheered him. 😴

At around 8:40 pm the lights FINALLY dimmed and the show started.

Now, seeing as I did an IG Live for the whole show which means I did not take any pics or clips (I´ll try posting some of the clips I saved from the IG Live a little later on tho), I’m going to utilize a few fellow concert goers offerings here for vibe and atmosphere reasons! 😉

And of course we can NEVER forget the true star of the night...

A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 24, 2018 at 1:18am PDT

A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 22, 2018 at 1:11pm PDT

NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES. OR SHIRTS. 🤣 🕺

As far as overall grade for the show goes…

Well, the people who came on my Live on/off and witnessed the gig with me can probably kinda agree that… eh… It wasn’t very awesomely great. 😣

The stage looked stupid with just SL’s drums, SA was once again shoved to the side where we could barely see him (but could hear him plenty!), the sound overall was kinda off (or maybe it was because of my location, but the drums sounded REALLY loud at times, almost drowned out rest of the instruments. Altho… what instruments? 🤔)…

But the biggest problem of all: Jared’s voice.

It’s fucking DESTROYED, guys. GONE.

Yes on some songs he sounded ok, even quite good on occasion. But overall, he cannot do a full show like a proper rock singer should.

And true to form, he skipped out on a lot of the lyrics (either he let SA sing, or the audience had to sing), and when he did sing (“sing”) he sounded BAD. Multiple times extremely off key and basically just shouted/screamed his way through the songs. There is no way on earth that anyone with ears could claim he sounded good!

Sheep would try no doubt, but lemme tell ya: Lies! Lies, lies, lies!

I think the only song which sounded at least half decent was “Stay”. It’s not a very challenging song anyway, so that one he still manages ok. Everything else… uh. 🙉

youtube

But it is what it is, I guess... Can´t turn back the clock and undo years of damage!

And that yelling is not helping what little he has left...

youtube

I did enjoy JL calling me and my fellow upstairs residents “BALCONY MONKEY MOTHERFUCKERS” tho. 🐒

Been called worse before! HA! 😂

Overall I would say that had I not had the IG Live peeps keeping me company throughout the show, I would have been majorly bored. There really was nothing even remotely interesting happening on stage (not counting Naked Dancing Dude!), and traveling across an actual ocean just for that show...

Not really worth it, gotta say.

If someone asks me if I would recommend buying a ticket, I would have to say no - based on the actual show, I mean. it just really does not offer any great “WOW” moments.

But on a personal level and by taking into account the WHOLE experience, counting the entire weekend etc., I will rank this as one of my better vacays for sure! And a big part of that is thanks to ALL YOU who joined and shared it with me, so THANK YOU! 💗

Report over and out!

#30 Seconds To Mars #sweden #yeehaw #jared leto #shannon leto #duo #i like bringing things up #you should know that by now

98 notes · View notes

kintsugi-sheep · 3 years

Text

2020.12.06: The Toya Rant One

Alright, so what went on this week?

I’m not tech savvy, so I can only say that the bits for my new computer set up have arrived. After I get the monitor, I should get to work on the site for the myth story.

I don’t feel apprehensive. That’s good, just surprising. Until recently I’ve felt this lingering dread regardless of what I did. As it stands, I don’t care very much the degrees to which I succeed or fail. Either way, I feel like with the right amount of time and attention, I can just get what I need to get done, done.

The writing by prompts has actually gone well. The only day I chose not to do anything was yesterday, and that was because the prompt I chose to handle didn’t really resonate with me afterwards. Short writing is a bit more fun than I had anticipated. I never know when people will respond especially well to something and I can’t tell which prompt will become the subject of attention until hours after I choose it.

I feel pretty good. It’s like working out for my writing muscles.

Speaking of writing, I spent a lot of the past week looking over Hunter x Hunter. I’m honestly skeptical that Togashi will ever finish the story he’s written, but I do love what he’s done. I just got into Daniel Greene on Youtube, who praises the Malazan for its worldbuilding. I haven’t read the book, so I can’t compare the two, but I feel like Togashi had it down perfectly.

The thing that Ging Freeccs says. “Enjoy the little detours to the fullest. That’s where you’ll find the things more important than the things you think you want.” It’s something that resonates with me. This drive that I have is very new to me, only a few months old, born from getting rejected in a way that made me reflect on who I was and who I wanted to be. And while I love this more intense focus I have on looking ahead of me, I don’t want to forget that there’s more to life that what I’m chasing after. That there’s more to experience that’s currently outside the realm of my consideration and knowledge that can shape me into a more well-rounded person.

Speaking of mangaka that should probably just be writers, I started reading JoJolion this week. I haven’t read Stone Ocean or Steel Ball Run yet, but I was compelled by a realization that I had while brainstorming for my story. Both Togashi and Araki have the ability to create fights that would be just as intense and exciting if you read them in a book as if you read them in a manga. This skill with creating powers is something that I’d love to study and employ. Mostly because I don’t know how well wuxia fantasy or battle fantasy perform in the medium of novels.

While I’m on about manga I like and writing, I want to bring up the whole Toya thing in Hero Academia. I imagine by the time anyone finds this and chooses to read it, it’ll have been years since this was relevant, so I don’t feel compelled to give a spoiler warning.

When I was young and reading Naruto as it was coming out, a friend of mine swore that Tobi was going to be Obito. I figured not. We say Obito get crushed by a boulder. Kakashi took his eye too, so of course he’d be dead. My friend was clearly being ridiculous. Cut to a few years later and the chapter wherein Tobi’s identity is revealed begins with a flashback of Obito’s childhood.

That’s strike one.

Some time later, I’m hearing One Piece theories that Sabo is alive. Impossible. The deaths in One Piece are few and far between, but the ones that do occur are clean, quick, and obscured in some way or another; save Ace’s death. Plus, it was a flashback. And a flashback death was bound to be legit. Cut to the Dressrosa Arc, Sabo’s alive.

That’s strike two.

Now, we get to Toya. Hero Academia may be another battle fantasy manga, but it does ground itself more closely to the real world than either of the prior examples. Surely, these claims that Dabi is Toya would be proven false. Endeavor had a shrine and everything. Not to mention the hair color scheme of the Todoroki family. Cut to some time later, Dabi pours some stuff on his head to get the dye out of his hair, and it’s Toya.

That was strike three. And what broke me.

I was frustrated at myself more than anything, dismissing the simple idea by virtue of it being too simple. Still, two things about this incident stick out to me.

The first was a comment on Viz beneath the chapter. A reader made the point that while we in the audience came to this conclusion through months of attention and speculation, the remainder of the Todoroki family had no idea. Regardless of our own expectations, they needed to know.

Second was a clip I saw of George R. R. Martin a few days ago. In it he says that people online have already guessed a plot point in his next book, but that he’s not going to change it. He makes the argument that if you chose to change something at the last minute like that—because some people online figured it out before you wanted them to—then you’d be doing a disservice to all the foreshadowing and writing you’d done leading up to that point.

To go back to JoJolion for a minute, I may have never read the manga from the begin before now, but I’ve been on the JoJo wiki for years now. I know the gist of what’s going to happen, but seeing it play out before my eyes, as you would expect, holds a deeper value than just getting the bullet points. It takes a really special story for me to worry about spoilers.

This was more impersonal than I thought it’d be.

Well, I hope to not stop now. I’ve found a pretty nice groove in writing and I’m getting a bit excited to learn what I can do with this new Huion tablet I bought.

For tonight, I’m gonna post this, go lose some matches on MTG Arena, and then probably write more shorts.

I’m happy to have found a track to ride on.

#writer #author #writerblr #blog #manga

0 notes

cookinguptales · 7 years

Text

please mind the author’s note.

Before you read any of this, please know that it’s really just a vent fic. I didn’t put a lot of effort into making the pacing, plot, or even the characterization that strong. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life and Osomatsu-san was annoying me on several levels. So I guess I just tried to work some stuff out and ended up with sixteen thousand words of...whatever the hell this is. I went back and forth on even putting it in the tag, but I figure if y’all are well warned, you can make your own decisions.

Anyway, here’s a largely unedited fic about Chibita learning the joys of promiscuity and Karamatsu trying to adapt himself to the situation. It is...filthy. So uh. Go in warned.

It started, like most of Karamatsu's bad ideas did, with unexpected knowledge and an unwise amount of alcohol.

"We virgins have to stick together," Osomatsu was saying, swaying slightly in his seat in front of Chibita's cart. "It's so--solimarity."

"Eh?" Chibita asked. He stopped wiping down the counter in front of him. "Don't lump me in with you losers, idjit. I never said I was a virgin."

They all stopped for a second, squinting at Chibita in a wholly unattractive way. Karamatsu was experiencing the deeply unpleasant sensation of being frozen in freefall, all his muscles tensing up, his veins flowing quick with ice water, but the world just kept moving all around him. Dizzying. Wrong.

"But you don't have a girlfriend," Choromatsu said slowly.

Chibita shrugged, a little bit self-conscious. "Who needs a girlfriend to have sex? Idjit."

They blinked, slow and confused and the slightest bit betrayed.

"Oh no! I get it," Todomatsu said, sighing dramatically. "That's so sad, Chibita. You'll find someone someday! You don't need to pay hookers!"

"What the hell? You fucking idiot!" Chibita growled. "I'm not-- I'm not doing that! I'm just..." His face was bright red now, and he seemed to be groping around for the right words. "I'm just having some fun."

Karamatsu was still falling, falling, the ground nowhere in sight and yet half an inch from his toes. His mind was full of it, of Chibita having some fun, and his stomach clenched. He felt sick with it, with Chibita kissing girls and touching girls and smiling at them as he let them into his apartment. Their old apartment. Fuck.

"Isn't that kind of bad, though?" Choromatsu asked. "Maybe you shouldn't hang out with girls like that, Chibita."

Ichimatsu scoffed. "Like you'd say no if 'a girl like that' asked you, Fappymatsu..." he muttered, and Jyushimatsu snickered beside him.

"Yeah, Fappymatsu. What decade are you in, anyway?" Osomatsu asked, nudging him a little too hard, a little too drunkenly, to be quite companionable.

"I'm just saying," Choromatsu started to protest, but then Chibita cut him off.

"I didn't say they were girls, idjit." He was standing ramrod straight now, his back tense and his shoulders set back. He looked ready to fight. Ready to run. Ready to take a goddamn beating.

A moment. Then, "What the fuck?" Osomatsu sputtered amongst five loud voices.

Meanwhile, Karamatsu, mouth hanging open and tongue stilled into silence, had hit the fucking ground.

It wasn't like Karamatsu had never thought about it before. Their time living under the same roof had been brief but utterly unforgettable. He'd caught glimpses of strong, thick shoulders as Chibita undressed, and he'd looked away before he could be caught staring. Once you got past the babyface and the oden obsession, Chibita was a pretty good-looking guy. He was strong all over, strong arms, strong hips, strong heart. He could see why men would want him.

Hell, it wasn't as if Karamatsu could point any fingers in that particular arena.

But somehow, Karamatsu had believed that he was the only one who could see all that. He'd thought that all that potential, all that maddening, seductive possibility, was hidden under too much weirdness. The height and the oden and the, ah, ebullient personality. He thought he'd been the only one to get close enough to Chibita to peel all that back and see the radiance beneath.

He was wrong. Clearly. And once he knew he was wrong, he could see the evidence everywhere he looked. Dark marks not quite hidden by Chibita's collar. Men sitting there at the cart, giving Chibita knowing looks that spoke to a shared history Karamatsu would never be part of. The whispers around town that Chibita was more than he appeared. Far more.

It was new. He knew that much. He remembered sitting there with Chibita in that tiny apartment of theirs, and he remembered Chibita confessing to him that he was scared he'd always be alone. That he didn't have enough space in his heart for anything but oden, that his strange looks would turn strangers off, that he was too rough, too straightforward, for a nice girl to give him a chance.

Well. Sometime between then and now, Chibita had clearly found his niche. Karamatsu started listening to the gossip that he'd never been privy to beforehand, the murmurs in seedier parts of town, the parts he'd always walked past quickly just because he could feel himself wanting to slow. It was recent, he'd learned. It'd happened while all of them were busy getting their fucking egos stroked in a fucking bizarro world that didn't quite feel real anymore.

Chibita had been left all alone for a long time, and he'd filled the void with other men's cocks. And goddamn it, he seemed happier than Karamatsu had ever seen him before. He wasn't some fallen woman, like the dramas or the light novels loved to talk about. He wasn't sad or mad or lonely. He wasn't some drug addict drifting between bad choices. He just looked happy. He had a confidence to his posture that he hadn't quite before all this, and a buoyancy, a fluidity to his movements that Karamatsu couldn't believe he'd never noticed.

Chibita was happy. He was far happier than Karamatsu had ever made him. Chibita was happy and he was well-fucked. It seemed like half the gay men in town had indulged in a one-night stand with him. Karamatsu even heard rumors that Hatabou of all people had gotten a taste of that ass, and he couldn't pretend that knowing that didn't make his stomach go cold and hot and resentful every time the two of them ran into each other.

But well-fucked didn't mean well-loved. As much as Karamatsu listened, he didn't hear a single story about Chibita actually dating one of his conquests. It wasn't like no one had ever tried; Chibita had apparently gotten quite the reputation in some circles by now. He was a heartbreaker. Great for one night of fun, but don't bother calling him in the morning. A lot of people had learned that the hard way.

Just like Chibita had told them, he was just "having some fun". And try as he might, Karamatsu couldn't quite reconcile that with the man he'd lived with not that long ago. Chibita had seemed stunningly frail then. Like all those big words and that strong spine were just covering up a heart that had been hurt again and again and again, but despite it all still managed to keep beating. Karamatsu had fallen in love with that heart, maybe.

But maybe Chibita had felt tired of feeling like that. Maybe he was tired of everyone in his life, Karamatsu included, leaving him behind. Maybe he was tired of being in a position to have his heart broken. He'd covered the cracks with oden and boisterousness, but now... Now perhaps he'd learned how to keep people at just the right arm's length. If he had a different man in his bed half the time, he'd never long for any of them. He wouldn't be lonely, but there was no risk of getting attached.

It was smart, in a way, but it made Karamatsu's heart ache. Hell. Maybe he was just overthinking it, anyway. Maybe Chibita had just finally realized how fucking beautiful he was and was now taking advantage of all the attention he could have had at any time. Who turned down sex, anyway?

Still. Still. Karamatsu couldn't help but connect the dots. The timelines. Couldn't help but notice that it had been when they'd gone away that Chibita had replaced them with someone, everyone else. It had been when he'd gone away. And what... Fuck it all, what would have happened if he'd stayed? What if Karamatsu hadn't let his head get turned by stupid baseball games or dumb aliens or fans that were here and gone in a flash? What if he'd let himself grow just like Chibita had always believed he could? What if he'd given up all those flights of fancy to be the constancy that Chibita seemed to crave?

He was being an idiot, maybe. Just as stupid as Chibita always said he was, fond and desperate and angry in turn. Maybe Chibita didn't feel anything towards him at all and letting him stay with him in the first place was just pity. Maybe Chibita had just been exercising his newfound sense of freedom when he'd started bringing guys back to his newly-vacated apartment.

But Karamatsu wasn't like Chibita. He didn't want a hundred guys to call his name. He just wanted one. He didn't care if it was a girl or a guy, really. He just wanted to find someone to love, who'd love him right back. Someone kind and caring, who didn't care that he was painful. Someone who'd want to spend the rest of their lives with him. And if he were really being honest with himself, that someone was Chibita. It'd been Chibita for a long, long time. Maybe even before he'd stayed with him.

He only had his own foolish self to blame. He hadn't seen it. He hadn't seen any of it. He'd known that Chibita was important to him. That Chibita had been like a lifeboat in the middle of the goddamn ocean, finally a person he could depend on. He'd known that spending time with Chibita made his heart quail and soar by the day, and he knew that leaving him had hurt in a bone-deep way he'd never fully been able to explain. He'd known in a faraway unknowable part of his mind that he was attracted to Chibita. Deeply.

But it wasn't until the word had been said out loud that everything finally came crashing into clarity. Bisexual. Chibita was bisexual, and so was he. And Karamatsu had figured it out too goddamn late.

Or maybe he hadn't.

"Jeez, why d'you keep asking so many questions about Chibita, kid?" a guy asked him one night. The man was tall and dark and handsome, ash glowing in the darkness as he smoked. He was exactly the kind of guy Karamatsu wanted to be, and Chibita had already fucked him. Once. "Do you want a go at him or something?"

Karamatsu had been tongue-tied and stumbling, stammering out some noncommittal answer that felt false on his lips. But the man's answer had stuck with him.

"It's not a big deal. Just stop by his cart some night. He's a good kid, but he's not that picky."

Chibita had a lot of reputations, it seemed.

The problem was, it <i>was</i> a big deal. Karamatsu didn't just want some one-night stand with Chibita. He knew he'd never be satisfied with just one-and-done. It would be worse than never getting to touch him in the first place. Fucking him and knowing that Chibita just thought of him like some toy to keep him busy on a cold night... Just the thought of it made bile rise up hot in his throat.

But Chibita didn't want a boyfriend, it seemed. Not one man had managed to satisfy his sexual wanderlust in the past, and Karamatsu had no reason to think he'd be any different. Which hurt. Truthfully speaking, though, what did he have to offer that none of those other guys had? All he had was a patched and broken heart. All the pretty words in the world couldn't change that all those other men were bigger than him and stronger, more handsome and more talented. Every one of them was more experienced.

But maybe, some part of his stupid, stupid heart said. Maybe he could do it right. Maybe he could -- could do some research. Find out the best way to sweep a guy off his feet and reduce his brain to mush. Maybe he could train himself to be exactly what Chibita had never known he needed. Not... not with other men. Karamatsu didn't want to do -- that -- with anyone but Chibita. But somehow.

What was it Chibita had always told him? That all he needed was guts? Maybe that really could be enough. Maybe if Karamatsu just had the stomach for some hard, weird work and the heart to see it through, he could do it. He could seduce the consummate seducer and do it so well that Chibita never wanted anyone else.

It was a terrible idea, but Karamatsu had a lot of terrible ideas. And that was how he found himself with a brown paper bag full of all kinds of "research materials" and a heart aflame.

He'd do it. Bad idea or not. Impossibility or not. He'd fuck Chibita so damn good that he'd never look anywhere else again.

Three weeks later, he'd masturbated so much that he was almost fucking tired of it. Sexy research was harder than he'd expected -- no pun intended.

It had started simple, almost gentle. A few well-placed google searches and he had the basic idea of what to expect. He read about lube and about prostate massage and the best way to work up to anal sex. Then, after imagining "Chibita" and "anal sex" in the same fucking sentence, he'd jacked himself off frantically. Twice. And then opened up "100 Tips For A Better Blow Job". And then he was right back to fucking his hand with a quiet desperation. He didn't know what was hotter, thinking about Chibita's mouth stretched tight around his cock, or the unknown mystery that would be Chibita heavy in his own.

Karamatsu pushed his fingers into his mouth as he fisted himself, wondering what it would feel like to suck Chibita off. After he'd come again, shaking now with the power of it, he'd hesitantly raised his other hand to his mouth. He wondered, gingerly sucking on his own messy fingers, if Chibita would taste the same way he did.

He'd gone more slowly after that. There was something about masturbating three times in two hours that taught a man caution. He started exploring the wonderful world of gay porn, and found himself attracted and repulsed in almost equal measure. It was hot. Holy fuck, it was hot. He found his eyes glued to the fucking screen, his hand going to palm his dick almost without thought, as he watched. They were so beautiful. So strong. So fucking hot.

But it was weird, too. False in a way he hadn't quite encountered with straight porn. Maybe it was because he had a more concrete fantasy in his mind as he watched, and he couldn't help but think that he didn't -- he didn't want to fuck Chibita like that. He wanted to hear Chibita moan like that, wanted to hear him scream, but he couldn't bear to think of fucking him like the men in these videos. Like he was anyone. Like he was meat.

He wanted to kiss Chibita, wanted to hold him tight for hours. He wanted to trail his lips down his neck, down his chest, wanted to trace patterns over his ribs as he learned their tempo better than his own. He wanted to make Chibita feel as beautiful as he was, wanted Chibita to feel how much he longed for him. How much he loved him. He wanted to be close, close, he wanted to be so close that Chibita wouldn't be able to tell where he stopped and Karamatsu began. He wanted to make Chibita feel good, make him feel great, wanted to blow his fucking mind. But he wanted to be there when he came down, too. Wanted to hold him as he shook. Wanted Chibita to know he'd be there every fucking day of the rest of their lives if Chibita would have him.

Karamatsu whimpered even as he came in his own hand, eyes fixed to the screen, and cursed himself for a fool. Why the hell couldn't he have realized he was this obsessed back when he actually had a chance? Why couldn't he be like all the other men Chibita wanted, men like the guys in these videos. Ones who just wanted a little fun. Maybe then coming down off the high of an orgasm attained wouldn't sting so much.

It just wasn't as fun anymore now that he knew he wanted something more. And hell, what kind of shitty world was he living in if jacking off wasn't fun anymore? Ugh. He was such an idiot.

He lay there at night now, feeling far away from his brothers. It was like a secret part of him had come awake and now he was someone new. Someone none of them knew. He was someone who finally knew what he wanted, and someone who knew there was a very strong possibility he would never get it. He finally had a goal, a real, concrete goal, and it felt utterly foreign to him. He wanted to be better. He wanted to be dependable and attractive and perfectly capable of taking care of a lover. He wanted to be what Chibita wanted. What he needed. He wanted to be the guy who Chibita came home to. And he'd do it right this time.

And hey, he thought to himself as he carefully worked himself down on a dildo he'd attached to their floor, maybe if this whole Chibita thing didn't work out, maybe he'd have a future making some of those dirty videos himself. He was certainly starting to like some of the solo ones he'd found. Beautiful men fucking themselves with toys, touching themselves with all the tenderness of a lover, moaning their bliss to a camera that absorbed every bit of it.

This part, this part was new. It was so fucking new. Even before, even when he was watching Chibita from the corners of his eyes and shuddering over the soft-hard lines of him, he'd never thought about doing this. But if he did manage to convince Chibita to give him a chance, he didn't know what Chibita would even want. Would he want to get fucked, slow and smooth and intimate? Or would he want to flip Karamatsu over on his futon and fuck him hard?

Karamatsu worked his hips as he slid down slow, tiny little movements that felt like the entire fucking world breathing around him, and he imagined Chibita's hands on his hips. Chibita's legs beneath his. Chibita's cock opening him up wide and vulnerable, making him feel things that he'd never even imagined.

Karamatsu's hips bucked as he brushed against a particularly sensitive spot, forcing the dildo up inside him to the fucking hilt, and Karamatsu imagined that, too. Chibita deep inside him, learning his body so well that he could hit that spot whenever he fucking felt like it, whenever he wanted to reduce his Karamatsu to a mewling fucking mess on the floor. He moaned low, as loud as he felt comfortable doing in a house that was never entirely empty. He could be as loud as he wanted in Chibita's apartment. If his walls weren't thick enough, then his neighbors had to be used to it by now. He could feel this, all this, with his face buried in Chibita's pillows or squashed against the tatami mats or even maybe breathing against Chibita's shoulder if he was lucky enough to fuck him face-to-face. He could feel Chibita inside him, deep as anything, and he could moan as loud as he goddamn wanted, could beg and yell and plead with Chibita to never, ever stop.

He fucked himself, imagining it. He bounced himself with increasing desperation, imagining Chibita above him, below him, inside him. Imagining Chibita panting in his ear as he lost control and fucked Karamatsu the way he'd -- the way he never had with anyone else, better somehow, newer. Because somehow Karamatsu would be better, would be new, and Chibita wouldn't be able to resist him. They'd fuck like this, just like this, and in a million other ways. It wouldn't be one night, it'd be a thousand, and Chibita would be addicted to him. Chibita would never stray again, would stop roaming the night searching for what only Karamatsu could give him, would just keep fucking him and getting fucked by him and touching him just like a lover and --

Karamatsu came hard, dick untouched, as he imagined Chibita coming inside him. Then he sat there for a few long minutes, panting heavily, feeling too full and too cold and all alone. He pulled himself off of the toy and flopped onto the floor of their room, telling himself that the stinging at the corners of his eyes was just sweat and not the ever-increasing certainty that his fantasies were just that: mad, improbable fantasies.

His breathing didn't slow, just hitched in his throat. He really was such a fucking idiot.

Guts. Guts. His guts felt like they were fucking curdling inside him, but he tried to hold on tight to the desperate, foolish optimism that had gotten him into this mess. It was worse, somehow, to train for an Olympic event that might never come. It hurt to take concrete steps towards an insane goal. It hadn't been nearly this bad when he was just quietly pining. But all this, the practice and the pleasure and the fucked-out exhaustion that had dogged him for weeks, all this made it feel real. Made it seem dangerous.

And three weeks, three weeks wasn't nearly long enough. It wasn't enough to make him agile or experienced or seductive. Karamatsu was still so overwhelmed by all these new things that his hands shook every time he took his "research materials" from their hiding place. He probably would have needed years to attain the sex god status he'd need to seduce Chibita into a real relationship.

Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, the schedule was moved up a little bit.

He woke up one morning with a buzzing by his ear. His cell phone. He was drowsy until he wasn't, bleary-eyed until his eyes sharpened enough to see who had texted him.

Chibita.

'Can you come by the cart tonight?' it said, 'Want to talk to you.'

He stared at it, hoping his quickening breaths wouldn't wake his brothers, then buried his face in his pillow.

Later that day, after endlessly dithering over what super-cool-definitely-not-painful outfit to wear, Karamatsu found himself sallying up to Chibita's cart. There was another man there, but he looked about done, so Karamatsu just stood a little ways away and waited.

He watched the man critically as he finished his meal and paid. Was he one of Chibita's exes, or someone who was interested in becoming one? Or was he just some guy who felt like a plate of oden on the way home? He was certainly attractive enough, but his eyes weren't lingering on Chibita like Karamatsu's always had...

"Karamatsu," Chibita called even as the man walked off. "I can see you over there, idjit."

Karamatsu's fingers twitched ineffectually in his jacket pockets. He hadn't been trying to hide, exactly... But the idea of walking over now...

"Just come over already. I'll make you a plate."

Well, that was a good sign. At least Chibita wouldn't be feeding him if he were upset about something. Probably. Unless it was poisoned. Karamatsu crept towards the cart, feeling a sort of gnawing in his stomach as he did. The cart used to be a safe place for him, a place to relax and unwind. That was no longer the case.

Chibita was quiet for a few minutes as he assembled Karamatsu's food, his usual cheerful greeting missing. He looked thoughtful, maybe even a little conflicted. Then, "You've been weird lately, Karamatsu."

Karamatsu teeth clenched so hard that he almost bit his tongue, but he forced himself to open his mouth. "What do you mean?" he asked. Chibita couldn't know about the -- the practice. There was no way for him to know.

Chibita finished assembling the plate, but he didn't hand it over. He just held it in his hands like it was all that was keeping him together. "You've been asking about me."

Fuck. Karamatsu, who had been feeling pretty stupid for the past month or so, was now feeling extremely stupid. Why the hell hadn't he thought that anyone with a big enough mouth to talk to him wouldn't talk to Chibita, too? Why had he thought that his furtive inquiries -- not so much furtive as desperate, actually, upon reflection -- wouldn't get back to the source? "I..."

"You what?" Chibita snapped, and his knuckles went white around the plate he was holding. "Why are you fucking investigating who I'm having sex with?"

He sounded angry, but he also sounded -- fuck, he sounded scared. And something hovering at the edges of Karamatsu's thoughts finally sank in. How scary it had probably been to come out to the six of them. Karamatsu had never told Chibita that he thought that he was...that he was probably just like him. He hadn't told Chibita that he didn't care what kind of person Chibita wanted to have sex with, had just stumbled drunkenly away from the cart even as his brothers lost their damn minds. He'd been so wrapped up in his own thoughts. He'd been so wrapped up in his own pain. He hadn't even thought what that might look like to Chibita.

Karamatsu cleared his throat. "It's not... It's not like that..." he said, and hated how weak his voice sounded.

"Then what the hell is it? You were--" Chibita's voice caught in his throat, and Karamatsu could see now that he was shaking. "You were asking for names! You were fucking asking what I liked! Who the hell does that?"

It had been, Karamatsu realized with a bright flash of clarity, really fucking creepy. He'd been so caught up in his own illicit investigation that he hadn't even realized it. "I just..."

Chibita put the plate down on his own side of the cart, the ceramic a dull clatter against wood. Karamatsu could see him massage his temples. "You just what, Karamatsu? I'm allowed to have sex with whoever I want, and it's none of your fucking business," he said.

"Of course you can," Karamatsu said, the words dull and rote in his mouth. Chibita was a grown-ass man. It really wasn't any of his business, no matter how much he wished it were. "I just didn't know what to do."

For a moment, Chibita faltered. Then, "What the hell do you mean, idjit? You didn't have to do anything."

"I didn't know you anymore!" Karamatsu said, and then he shrank back from his own outburst. That had really been what it'd been, though, wasn't it? There were sides to Chibita, the Chibita that he'd fallen in love with, that were totally foreign to him. He'd just -- he'd just wanted to know him again. To feel like an intrinsic part of himself, the part that was Chibita, hadn't gone away forever. But then he'd learned the truth and he hadn't liked it.

"So this was... This was what, some kind of pervy research?" Chibita asked, and at least he didn't sound angry anymore. Stunned, maybe. But not angry.

"Yes," Karamatsu said. "No. I don't know. I just... I thought I knew you, but I didn't. I didn't know if you'd changed or if I was just wrong all along."

"Because what," Chibita asked, starting to sound a little bitter. "I wasn't normal like you thought I was?"

"No!" Karamatsu said. As old as he was, jobless and sexless and utterly alone, Karamatsu was the abnormal one. "I just thought you wanted something different. You always said you wanted a girlfriend--"

Chibita scoffed a little from across the counter.

"And even if you got a boyfriend," Karamatsu pressed on, "I thought you'd just... You'd want it to be love." He was quiet for a moment, voice thick in his throat. "You always said you wanted love."

Chibita stared at him, and Karamatsu could see a wound in there. There was something hurt inside Chibita, but Karamatsu could see that he was already covering it up as best he could. "I..." Chibita cleared his throat. "This has nothing to do with love. Idjit."

"Exactly," Karamatsu said, looking down at the counter. "That's... That's why I was so confused. I was surprised that you weren't... Straight... But it was all the, the one-night stands and the casual stuff that was weird. It was like I was seeing a whole new part of you and I wasn't sure if it was even new or not. Or if I... If I just didn't notice it."

Chibita didn't say anything for a long time. Then he picked up the plate of oden in front of him and handed it across the counter. It was cold now, Karamatsu was sure, but he took it all the same. "It was new," Chibita finally said, his voice too quiet. Karamatsu liked it so much better when he was excitable. "Everything in my life was changing, so I changed, too."

Karamatsu hesitated for a moment, then finally gave voice to the suspicion in the back of his mind. "Were you mad because we went away?" he asked.

Chibita shrugged, but it was a weak movement. "A little. Iyami went away, too. Everyone was gone and it was just me and -- I don't know, I thought I'd try something different. Nothing I'd done up to then had worked. None of the people I liked ever worked out. So I thought... I dunno, why not put love on the backburner and just have fun for a while? It was better than hurting all the time."

There was a dullness to his voice that Karamatu hated. And -- it had been stupid, hadn't it, to think that it was his leaving that caused all this? Stupid and arrogant. But he was a part of it, he was sure. They all had been. And this new Chibita, who wasn't any better or worse than the old one, this new Chibita was the product of their neglect.

Karamatsu looked at him, at this new Chibita who still wanted love but who maybe no longer hoped for it. Who'd found a new life for himself fucking his way through Tokyo and enjoying every minute of it. Who was finally letting himself let go a little bit and enjoy the freedom that Karamatsu had been treated to his entire life. Maybe Chibita deserved to play a little bit.

But, Karamatsu realized, the knowledge opening up to him like a late flower that had only just started to bloom, he did have something that none of Chibita's other partners had had. He loved him. Wholly and completely. And maybe Chibita didn't love him back. Maybe Chibita didn't love anyone anymore. But he could give Chibita at least one night that was different from the others. One night where instead of fucking, he could make love. Maybe that way, he could put a little bit of hope back into his eyes.

Karamatsu sat back on the bench and crossed his arms in front of him, a shield for the most terrifying battle he'd ever fought. Then he looked at Chibita over the tops of his sunglasses and said, "I think we should have sex."

Chibita honest-to-god flinched. "What? What the hell are you talking about, idjit?" he asked, and his voice wobbled.

"We should have sex," Karamatsu said again, this time a little more sure. "I promise I'll make it fun for you."

"The fuck? Did those assholes tell you I'd spread my legs for anyone or something?" Chibita asked. "I don't just fuck anyone who asks."

That wasn't what Karamatsu had heard, but who fucking cared what he'd heard? Tonight, all that mattered was him and Chibita. "I know," he said. "But just once? For old times' sake?"

Chibita was shaking again, and Karamatsu wasn't sure why. Was he still angry? It couldn't just be that he didn't fuck friends -- Karamatsu knew for a fact that wasn't true. "No! Why the hell would I want to have sex with some shitty NEET virgin, anyway? How would that be fun?" he asked.

"I practiced," Karamatsu said, the words out of his mouth before he could even think twice about them. "I promise. It'll be good. You can kick me out if it's not."

"You--" Chibita gaped at him. "What the hell do you mean, 'you practiced'?"

"I practiced," Karamatsu said, and pushed his sunglasses up on his nose to let his natural mysterious air help him out a little. "You'll see."

Chibita was just staring at him. His expression was utterly unreadable, but there was a crease between his eyebrows that looked unhappy. "Fine," he finally snapped. "If it'll get you off my back and you'll promise to stop asking around about me."

"Done," Karamatsu said, even as his stomach flopped around inside him.

Chibita sighed, sounding far more tired than he had any right to be so early in the day. "Come to my place around midnight," he said. "That'll give me time to finish the day and get everything put away."

"Okay," Karamatsu said, his voice a little hoarse in his dry throat. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.

Chibita rubbed at his temple. "Now fuck off, okay? I'm gonna have real customers soon and I don't want you to scare them off."

Karamatsu just nodded, the implicit insult rolling right off his back.

Holy fucking shit. He was going to have sex with Chibita.

It felt weird, walking the familiar path to Chibita's apartment. He'd lived there too long, too short. Walking those same steps felt nostalgic in a way he had no right to. He could feel the night air tingling against recently-scrubbed skin, and he shivered. As soon as Chibita had dismissed him, he'd gone home, changed. Showered, changed again. Touched himself. Considered a third shower of the day. It was a good thing that midnight had come more quickly than he'd hoped, because his brothers were about ready to throw him out themselves.

When he finally reached Chibita's door, he just stood there for a moment. Waiting. Trying to psych himself up enough to knock. He'd felt almost like this once before, when he'd bowed low and begged Chibita to let him stay. He'd thought back then that it'd been the secret to straightening out his life, and who knew? Maybe it would have been, if he'd seen it through. Maybe he never would have had this sick, cold feeling rolling around in the pit of his stomach, and maybe he never would have felt so excited and so terrified to see Chibita all at once.

Or maybe his heart would have just broken a hell of a lot faster.

Karamatsu breathed in, breathed out, then knocked on the door. Chibita opened it before his hand was even back at his side, and jeez. Maybe Chibita was a little nervous, too.

He looked good, though, even if he was tense. He was soft and pink and warm, just out of the shower. Karamatsu had always used to sneak glances at him when he was like this. He'd always been irresistible. Karamatsu had always resisted him anyway, and look where that had gotten them?

He meant to say something cool. He meant to say something that would make Chibita's heart swoon. Something about the way the moon looked reflected in Chibita's dark eyes. The way his rosy skin was enough to make the glaciers melt. "Hi," he said instead.

Chibita's eyebrows quirked upwards. "Hi," he said, then opened up the door. "Are you coming in or what? It's cold out here."

He probably was cold. He was only wearing a loose t-shirt and some tight shorts and Karamatsu wanted to strip him out of them so badly he could barely breathe. But that would come in time. For now, he just followed Chibita inside and toed off his shoes.

"You remember where to hang up your jacket, right?" Chibita asked, glancing back at him over his shoulder.

"Yeah," Karamatsu said. He felt a little lump in his throat when he realized that the hook Chibita always left for him was still empty. "Thanks."

And then it was just the two of them in Chibita's cramped apartment, too close for comfort and too far away for distraction. Karamatsu could hear the ticking of a clock somewhere, but it was all but drowned out by the sound of his own uneven breaths. His hands hung awkwardly at his sides and -- god, how did people do this, anyway? This wasn't like the movies, where two people stumbled in the door, barely able to keep their hands off each other. This was just him and Chibita. Staring at each other.

Finally, Chibita sighed. "You never make things easy, do you?" he muttered, maybe to himself more than Karamatsu, and then he'd taken a step in, too fast for Karamatsu to track, had gone up on his toes so he could--

Karamatsu's breath caught in his throat as Chibita's lips met his. It was -- fuck, it was better than he thought it'd be. Even awkward like this, Chibita's mouth was so warm, so soft. Karamatsu could smell the gentle scent that had enveloped him every night, making him feel safe. He'd remembered it on the edges of daydreams, and the dreams at night that he could never quite retain.

This, this. This is what he'd wanted for so fucking long. He felt too aware of his hands, but simultaneously felt like he had absolutely no control over them himself as he reached out to draw Chibita in close. They'd been half-formed desires in his mind a year ago, but now it was all he could think about. Kissing Chibita. Touching him. Being with him in every sense of the word.

He tilted his head without even meaning to, crouching down a little so Chibita wouldn't need to strain. He didn't know what he was doing, but his body didn't seem to need the coaching. It was kind of a bad kiss, probably, to someone like Chibita who did shit like this almost every night. But to Karamatsu, it was nothing short of life-changing. God, he wanted him so badly.

A few moments later, a thousand, Chibita pulled back to settle back on his heels. His mouth was very wet and very red, and his eyes had gone very, very wide. "I--" His voice came out a little too hoarse, a little too unmanageable, so he cleared it, started again. "I already laid the futon out because I knew you were coming. You can... Sit, I guess. If you want."

And there it was, there on the floor. It wasn't the same one Chibita had used back when they used to live together. It was a lot bigger, and Karamatsu tried not to wince at the implication. Chibita had probably found the need to upgrade at some point. Karamatsu had not been the person to make him feel that need.

He swallowed hard and sat down on the damn futon. After a moment more, Chibita dropped down next to him. The movement was practiced, but didn't look easy. As if Chibita had done this song and dance before, knew all the steps, but was inexplicably off the beat. He didn't look particularly happy, and Karamatsu's stomach sank.

"We don't... We don't have to do this," he said haltingly, hating the words even as they came out of his mouth. "I won't bother you again if you don't want me to." He wanted to. He wanted to so fucking badly. But he also wanted Chibita to look starstruck when he kissed him. He wanted Chibita to look at him the way Karamatsu felt, like the moon and stars had moved just a little bit to the left the minute they'd touched. He didn't want him to look so anxious. So fucking unenthused about the proceedings.

"No," Chibita said. He shifted a little, right into Karamatsu's personal space. "Don't go." He said it imperiously, the way he said all things, with a confidence that Karamatsu had only ever worn like an ill-fitting coat. But there was a note to his voice that shook, just a little, and Karamatsu could hear the order for what it was. A plea.

Karamatsu looked at him, looked into those dark eyes of his, and wondered just what the hell he was thinking. Chibita had never been nearly this hard to read in the past. "Okay," he said softly, and then he kissed him.

It was a little easier this time, there on the floor. The height difference wasn't nearly so pronounced, and their legs tangled up together as Chibita leaned in close. Karamatsu reached out for him, slid trembling fingers down over his back, his waist, his hips. Tentatively, he let one hand curl around his ass, and he pulled him in.

He'd half-expected Chibita to pull away, to tell him he was a pervert who was going too damn fast, but instead he came willingly. He even pushed Karamatsu back a little bit so it was easier for him to crawl into his lap. He sat there, straddling his legs and cradling his head in his hands, and he licked at his lips.

It was a request, Karamatsu knew, and he felt dizzy with it. Fuck. How the hell did people have sex so easily when just kissing felt this overwhelming? He'd never done it before, but he felt like he'd already been doing it for hours, for years. He knew he couldn't be doing it quite right, quite gracefully, but he felt like it was as natural as breathing. Maybe it was just because it was Chibita. Maybe it would never feel so right with anyone else.

Maybe he was just a hopeless romantic.

But the sensation of it, the waves of pleasure, shocking in their intensity, only served to remind him of his goal. This wasn't just sex. It couldn't be. Karamatsu wasn't sure he'd be able to manage that if he tried. This was making love. He had to -- he somehow had to communicate to Chibita the depths of his feelings. He might never have another chance. To be known. To give Chibita exactly the kind of tenderness he deserved.

He stroked blindly at whatever skin was available, Chibita's thighs, his legs, that little strip of skin between shirt and shorts that was exposed when he sat up like that. He was tender, he thought. Loving, he hoped. And then, as Chibita tried again, licked at the seam of his lips once more, Karamatsu opened his mouth.

Chibita sighed into his mouth, pleased, and started to explore. And god, fuck, if Karamatsu had thought it was intense before... The noise he made was a muffled moan, and Chibita just drank it in. Chibita's tongue was talented and sure, and his fingers were gentle on Karamatsu's jaw, his neck, as he stroked soft skin and manhandled him into a more comfortable position for them both.

Chibita drew back for a moment, just half a second, so his could press a soft kiss to Karamatsu's lax lips and whisper, "Come on, sweetheart. Kiss me like you mean it."

And hell, how the fuck was Karamatsu supposed to ignore a request like that? He let his own tongue sneak out, tentative at first, then eager. The exploration was an adventure, and the moments their tongues touched the first time, curling against each other soft and sweet, was a fucking revelation. He was lost in it, lost, and he clutched at Chibita like he was a lifeline. Any other time, he might have been embarrassed to be so obviously needy, to be making those sounds like a man possessed, but now, who cared? Who gave a flying fuck if Chibita knew how much he affected him? Let him know. Maybe it would make him feel good. Powerful. Loved.

He was so wrapped up in the kisses, all that slow, slick, sinuous movement, that he was utterly unprepared for Chibita's next move. Chibita's hips shifted in his lap, just fucking writhed against him, and Karamatsu suddenly realized he was really fucking hard. He could feel Chibita's cock through the thin fabric, only just starting to fill, but his own? Fuck. Fuck. He was so fucking hard.

The noise he made as Chibita pressed their hips together was almost pained in its pleasure, and all that did was encourage him to do it again. Chibita was kissing him open and sloppy now, was stealing his breath away almost faster than he could make it, and it felt so fucking good. All of Karamatsu's carefully-laid plans, all his thoughts of slow kisses and loving caresses, were quickly fizzling in his lust-hazed mind. It was too much. It was everything. Chibita was all he could have ever hoped for and more. No amount of reading or watching or imagining could even come close to the real thing. He felt so good. Tasted so good. He was so damn perfect, the way he moved like that, and Karamatsu felt himself steadily losing ground, losing his footing, losing his goddamn mind.

It was so good, so fucking--

And then it stopped. Everything stopped. The whole fucking world stopped as white-hot pleasure roared through him, taking what little sense he had left and throwing it to the wind. He'd never felt anything so intense in his entire life -- at least until he came back to himself and realized what the hell had just happened.

Even an orgasm like that couldn't stand up to the sheer fucking embarrassment that fell over him like a ten-ton weight.

Chibita stared at him, a little shocked, a little uncertain. "Did you just..."

He let the words hang there between them, even as Karamatsu breathed hard and felt himself burn crimson-hot with shame. He had. He fucking had. He'd had one goddamn chance with Chibita and he'd ended it in his own fucking pants.

"I--" Karamatsu swallowed, hard, and tried again. "I think I need to go to the bathroom."

Chibita was still just staring at him, gaping like a fish, that beautiful kiss-bitten mouth of his opening and closing in something like shock. Then he blinked once, twice, then shook his head to clear it. "I. Sure. Back-- Fuck, you know where it is."

And Karamatsu did. Chibita eased off of him, all fumbles and awkwardness, and then Karamatsu was up, was moving, was making a beeline to the bathroom.

And then he just stood there, staring at the tile and wishing he'd never even been born. He could feel the mess in his pants starting to cool into something sticky, something disgusting, and he wondered how the hell he was even going to get home. He'd been too stupid to think to bring a spare set of clothes.

He started to breathe a little faster, a little more than was strictly comfortable. He hadn't even brought clothes. Maybe he'd known, deep in his heart, that Chibita was never going to let him spend the night. He was never going to pull this stupid, insane plan off. He never could have made Chibita feel the way he'd wanted him to feel. Fuck. He'd never even gotten his fucking clothes off.

Karamatsu breathed in and in and in, feeling himself starting to go lightheaded with it, and he could feel tears burning at the corners of his eyes. What a failure. What a goddamn fucking failure he was. He'd always been a failure. He'd failed in everything he'd ever tried at. He'd failed at growing up. At getting a job. At being a real fucking human being. He'd failed to notice the best thing he'd ever had in his entire life, and he'd failed to make good use of the second chance he'd somehow, somehow been given.

No wonder Chibita didn't want him. He probably never had and never would. Who would want a shitty NEET virgin like him, anyway?

Karamatsu tried to take off his pants so he could deal with the worst of it, clean up the mess on the outside even if he was clearly powerless to deal with what lurked within, but his fingers were shaking too hard for him to even get through his fly. Finally, he just slumped down to the ground, back to the door and shaking. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't fucking breathe.

A knock at the door, somewhere behind his head. "Karamatsu?" The voice was soft, hesitant. Like Chibita was talking to some kind of wild animal. "Are you okay?"

Karamatsu opened his mouth and tried to say something flippant, something to make Chibita stop worrying and leave him alone, but he couldn't get the words out through his throat. There was something blocked off there, something that wouldn't let words or air or even coherent thought through. He thought it was shrapnel, maybe, left there as the remains of his shattered heart.

"Karamatsu, please. Answer me. It's not a big deal, y'know?"

Of course it was. Of course it was. Karamatsu laid his head on his knees and tried to breathe. He hadn't been able to satisfy Chibita, not in the slightest. He never had. What a fucking idiot he was, to think he might be the one who'd hook Chibita for good. All he'd ever done was disappoint him.

"Karamatsu?"

All at once, to Karamatsu's great shame, he found his breath. It heaved up out of him, past the wrecked remains of his heart, past the lump in his throat, in one great, wracking sob. And then there was another sob. Another. He was crying like a fucking baby on the floor of Chibita's bathroom, like the pathetic asshole he was. Did he really think he'd be able to make Chibita love a pitiful wretch like him? Did he really think there'd ever be anyone who wanted him?

Such an idiot. He really was such an idiot.

The crying was loud, embarrassingly loud, and he knew Chibita had to be able to hear it. That was the most humiliating thing of all, especially when he heard Chibita's shuddering breath. He'd hurt him. He'd just fucking hurt him again. He'd ruined Chibita's whole night with his pathetic attempts at lovemaking, and now he was going to have to deal with an embarrassing, painful mess of a man crying in his bathroom.

"I'm sorry," he gasped out, edged with another trembling sob.

Silence. A long, long silence. Then, "For what?"

"For this. For everything. For disappointing you again."

He didn't know if he could really hear Chibita breathing on the other side of the door, or if that was just his imagination running away with him again. And then, in a voice so small he could barely hear it, "Karamatsu, please open the door."

Maybe it was just because it sounded so tiny, so weak. Maybe even a little bit scared. Karamatsu wasn't sure what it was that made him reach up and unlock the door.

A soft click, and then the sturdy wall behind him was falling away as Chibita opened the door. He could hear Chibita's quick intake of breath, but he couldn't read it. Annoyed? Exasperated?

Chibita just stood there for a moment looking down at him, then Karamatsu felt him sit down right behind him, his knees bumping against Karamatsu's back. "I don't get it," he finally said.

Karamatsu didn't say anything. What could he say?

"You go away," Chibita said, far more quiet than Karamatsu ever heard him, far more quiet than he ever should have been. "And I have to deal with that. I start making new friends. Meeting new people. Making a new life for myself, a good one. And then you come back. You act like nothing's even fucking changed, like the six of you can just show up at the cart like none of it even happened. And as soon as you hear that I changed, you -- you what, you freak out? You start asking everyone what I'm doing? You ask me to have sex with you?" He paused, maybe momentarily at a loss for words. "And then this happens and you act like the whole world's ending. I don't fucking get it, Karamatsu."

Karamatsu felt a small touch at his back, gently trailing down his spine. "Why didn't you just talk to me?" Chibita asked, and hell, he sounded a little lost, too. "What the hell were you trying to do here?"

"I don't know," Karamatsu said, even though he did know, he did. The first question, though, was less humiliating than the second. "I was afraid we wouldn't be able to talk anymore."

That he'd go to Chibita with his concerns and Chibita would just shut down. Tell Karamatsu that he wasn't a part of his life anymore and that he didn't want him to be. Or worse, that Chibita would just laugh it off and give Karamatsu a non-answer, like they were just strangers and Chibita didn't want to get into it. What would he have done if he'd asked Chibita and Chibita hadn't answered?

Chibita breathed in, breathed out behind him. "Then didn't you just prove it?" he asked.

Hell. He was right. Of course he was right. If their relationship had been what it'd used to be, Karamatsu just would have been able to knock on his door and ask him. Hell, if their relationship had really been what it'd used to be, he would have just had to reach out across their living room floor and talk.

But it wasn't. It wasn't. And this whole mess was proof of that.

"Yeah," he said, and he sniffled a little pathetically. Fuck, he hated himself for that. "I know that. I just..."

He was quiet for a long time, and Chibita nudged him with one of his knees. "Yeah?"

"I just missed you. I missed you so fucking much."

And that was it. That was everything. Karamatsu had walked away and he'd regretted it every day. He could cover it up with misadventures and stupid quests and the accolades of millions, but none of it could erase that one simple fact. He missed Chibita so damn much. He missed what they'd had. He missed who he'd been when he was by Chibita's side. He missed all of it.

"But you left." Chibita's voice was a little hurt, a little accusing. Questioning.

Karamatsu gave a one-shouldered shrug. "It scared me, being with you. Everything it meant. I could have -- I could have made a good life with you. If I'd stayed."

"But I thought you wanted that," Chibita said, soft.

"I did. I do. Of course I did. But I felt like -- like I was giving up what I was. What we were. And when Osomatsu came with, with whatever the hell it was, it just felt like a sign. That we weren't done just yet. That I shouldn't have given up on them just yet."

That was the excuse he'd had, anyway. That his brothers needed him. That his family couldn't be torn apart. He'd known even then that it was a shitty idea. But then everything had just kept going, life had just kept living, and they'd become popular. At the time, it had seemed like a sign that he'd made the right decision.

"But you were okay saying that we were done. That you should give up on me," Chibita said, and he just. He sounded so fucking tired.

"No! It -- it didn't feel like giving you up, back then. You just -- you were just our Chibita. Always so steady. It felt like I could come back later and you'd still be there, like you always were."

Chibita made a small noise, angry and hurt. "It doesn't work like that, you goddamn idjit. You can't just move in and out of my life like that and get mad when I change, too," he said.

"I know. I know that," Karamatsu said. "I wasn't mad. I was just... sad, I guess. And scared. I didn't even realize I'd lost you until I had. I thought you'd just keep right on waiting for us, for me, and no one else would notice--"

"Notice what?"

Karamatsu sighed. The tears were still slick on his face, but there were no more coming out. Maybe he didn't have anymore. "Notice how amazing you are."

Behind him, Chibita swallowed so hard that he could just about hear it. "I'm not."

"You are," Karamatsu said. "And now everybody knows it. And I-- My whole fucking life, I couldn't fight for anything. But I wanted to fight for you."

"That's what you were doing..." Chibita said, his voice sounding far away and lost. "When you were asking all those questions."

Karamatsu nodded, the motion pushing his knees into his eyes. It felt good, in a way. "I needed to know you again. I didn't have you anymore and it hurt. I just--I asked everyone everything. I thought maybe I could figure out what I needed to do to get you back."

"And you arrived at...this?" Chibita asked, and now he sounded a little skeptical.

"You liked sex," Karamatsu said, shrugging. "For once, I wanted to give you what you wanted. I wanted to get really good at it and give you... I don't know. I just wanted to give you one really good night."

There were all these words in his head for the kind of night he wanted with Chibita. Sparkling and goddess-blessed and rose-soaked. He had a thousand fantasies about what he wanted for Chibita. But this, this right here. This didn't fit into any of them. And none of those words felt right anymore. Maybe he'd lost those, too.

"You practiced," Chibita said, and Karamatsu nodded. "With who?"

There was a little note of bitterness in his voice there, a little bit of possessiveness, that would have made his heart thrill any other day. But now he knew that he just heard what he wanted to. Chibita was probably just shocked at the idea that anyone would have him. He laughed a little, darkly. "No one."

A pause. "What the hell?"

Karamatsu sighed, a long, long sigh. "I looked things up online. Watched--watched videos. Bought some, um, things. I practiced."

Another pause, like Chibita was trying to work out what he was telling him. Then, "On yourself." The tone was odd, like he was surprised and yet not, all at once.

Karamatsu nodded again. "I prepared for--for weeks. I tried everything I could think of. I just kept thinking I needed to be ready for anything. I had to practice as much as possible so if I ever--if I ever got a chance with you, I'd impress you."

Chibita mumbled something that sounded kind of like a curse. "All that for me?" he asked, like it was too much to believe.

Karamatsu breathed in, then out. It'd seemed so sensible at the time. Like this mad plan would actually work. It had seemed like everything. When he finally spoke again, he couldn't quite keep the longing from his voice. “I wanted to make myself so perfect for you that you’d never let me go.”

Chibita was breathing more quickly behind him, unsteady. "I... I wasn't the one who let go, Karamatsu."

Karamatsu clutched a little more tightly at his knees, felt his nails dig into the denim coating his legs. "I know. I know. I fucked everything up."

Chibita didn't say anything. The silence just stretched out between them, both of them breathing too-quick in a tiny fucking bathroom. It was ridiculous. It was heartbreaking. It was all Karamatsu's fault.

It was a long, long time, but finally Chibita broke the silence. “I’m tired, Karamatsu. I’m not tired of the sex, I just — I’m tired of feeling like this. Because the guys, y’know, they come and they go and it’s a lot of fun. But it just goes right back to hurting. No matter how much I try to get my mind off it, it still hurts that you didn’t even say goodbye.” Karamatsu could hear him tapping a nervous little rhythm against the floor. “None of you did.”

They hadn't, had they? Out "adventuring" at breakneck speed so they'd never have to fucking stop and consider their own pitiful existence. Too fast to think about hellos or goodbyes or the people they'd left behind them in the fucking dust. They were all awful, weren't they?

“But maybe that’s a good thing," Chibita said, breaking into his thoughts. "It… It let me know where I stand. And it made me branch out a little bit. Meet some new people. Do some new things. And I don’t regret any of that. I’m just…tired.”

And that... Chibita just sounded so exhausted. So dull. So finished with the world and everything it had to offer. It was horrible. Chibita, their Chibita, loud and boisterous and strong, seductive and sweet and everything he'd ever wanted, Chibita wasn't supposed to sound like that. But he did. And it was his fault. Not just his, but his all the same.

Karamatsu pulled himself from his slump, wiped his soggy eyes with the back of his hand, then turned so he could scoot back to sit next to Chibita. Chibita, his Chibita. Who he'd left behind to deal with all this bullshit. Who he somehow'd thought he could win over with a little bit of sex when what he really needed was something entirely different. Karamatsu wound an arm around Chibita's waist and pulled him in so he could rest against his shoulder. So he could just rest. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "We shouldn't have done that. We were shitheads."

Chibita laughed weakly. "You really, really were. None of you idjits ever even dropped by to see if I was still alive. None of you six, or Iyami, or anyone else."

"Yeah," Karamatsu said. "I know." It had just been... It had been so overwhelming. There was a mindlessness, a desperate mindlessness, to their movements. And then they'd gotten popular and it was just encouragement to keep doing it. It felt like he had finally done something right in his whole, useless life. “They loved me.” he said softly. “No one had ever loved me before.”

“I did.”

Karamatsu's arm tightened around Chibita's waist, but Chibita didn't complain. "I didn't--I didn't know that. I didn't realize then. I knew that you were important. I knew that you felt like--like you were the one thing in the whole world I could depend on. But I didn't realize back then what I wanted. Or what you wanted. I didn't get it at all," he murmured.

“That’s just like you, idjit," Chibita said, that familiar sarcasm of his sounding weak below all that exhaustion. "You’re always chasing after some fantasy instead of working hard to make the best of what you’ve got. So what if all those people liked you? They didn’t even know you. That shit was never gonna last. But it was fun and it was flashy and you never even thought about if it was real.”

Karamatsu winced. And the realest thing he'd ever had was sitting right the fuck next to him. “Isn’t that what you’re doing, though? With the…” The sex. All the sex with men who'd never loved him and never would. Men who could help him forget for just a minute how fucking alone he was. He would have good feelings and good hormones and would feel fucking good until the minute they walked out the damn door.

Chibita didn't say anything, just turned his nose into Karamatsu's shoulder. “Maybe. But I already lost my chance at something real," he said softly. "You’re the one who threw it away.”

Karamatsu's throat closed up. That sounded so final. Like it didn't matter who'd loved whom. None of it mattered anymore. Because he'd thrown away their chance at happiness and Chibita had been smart. He'd moved the fuck on.

"You know the funny thing?" Chibita murmured. "All this time, this whole fucking day, I was thinking in the back of my mind… Maybe if it’s really good, this time he’ll stay.”

Karamatsu might have laughed if there had been any laughter still left in his body. It was ironic, in a way, but also utterly predictable. The two of them had never been as different as they'd seemed. They were both so desperate to be loved. To be anything but alone. They'd both been abandoned again and again and again, but were stupid enough to just keep reaching out. They could have been great together if he'd just realized what they had. Chibita was right. Karamatsu was always looking towards the next thing, to what could be the next best thing, and ignoring all the good things that were right next to him. He'd been so fucking foolish, and what had he done? Given Chibita one more abandonment to deal with. He had no right to want to seduce Chibita. To be seduced in turn. He had no right to want to sit here, right here, with Chibita breathing hard against his shoulder, for the rest of their lives.

But he wanted to be better. He wanted to be worthy. And maybe right now, that meant putting aside what he wanted and just listening to Chibita. He swallowed, looked straight ahead at the wall. "Do you want me to stay?" he asked, raw.

Chibita sighed, and he sounded so tired that he just about broke Karamatsu's heart all over again. "I don't know, idjit. When you're gone, all I want to do is see you again, but when you're here, all I can do is worry about how long you'll stay. Maybe I still love you. I don't fucking know. I'm not one of those cool guys who can put all their feelings into words. I just..." he trailed off, and Karamatsu's heart constricted in his chest.

"If you want me to stay, I'll stay," Karamatsu said, wishing his voice sounded a little more convincing when he said it. "If you don't want me to go, I won't." He swallowed. "Last time... Last time it never felt like I could really stay. It felt like--like you were just offering this place as a bridge. An oasis. Like I was supposed to just stay with you and become a better person and then leave again. And if I stayed with you, I'd just be putting off what I was really supposed to be doing."

He could feel Chibita's eyelashes against his shoulder when he blinked. He liked that feeling. "And what the hell were you supposed to be doing?"

"Back then, I thought I was supposed to be a proper adult, make a new life for myself. I was supposed to go out and get a job and get my own place. Find a girl, get married, have some kids. Raise them to be better than I was. I was supposed to leave the nest. And I thought back then that your apartment was still part of it. That I had to leave if I ever wanted to be a real person."

"And now?"

Karamatsu sighed. "Now I think I was supposed to stay here with you forever. You were supposed to be my new life," he admitted. He'd felt it the moment he'd walked away. That he was walking in the wrong fucking direction. And he'd wandered aimlessly, trying to find the right one, not realizing that any direction would be wrong. He'd already left the destination.

Now that place didn't exist anymore. That noisy little apartment with just him and Chibita, where Chibita would encourage him and help him and comfort him when the nights were long. It had been a place of the utmost hope, but it had also been a time. And he couldn't go back. He just had to look at what he had now, right now. He had to stop looking ahead at a future that would never exist and look beside him. For once. This life now wasn't as hopeful and it wasn't as sweet. But it was what he had to work with, and this time, he wouldn't squander it.

If Chibita still wanted him to stay.

Chibita was shaking now, so slightly that Karamatsu never would have felt it if his arm hadn't been wound tight around his waist. "I can't be your hope, Karamatsu," he said quietly. "I can't make you be anything you don't want to be."

"I know," Karamatsu said simply. He did. Things like hope didn't go one way. All there was in real life was support and love. Maybe he was finally ready to offer it instead of just taking all the time.

"It was really nice having you here," Chibita said. "I'd never lived with anyone before. Not since I was a kid. I didn't know what it was like to eat meals with someone or sleep near someone or just--just be with someone. When you first left, when we finished all that stupid bullshit and we all went home... It felt so lonely. I'd never felt that lonely because I never knew what I was missing. But when you left, it felt like my apartment was completely empty. And I thought... I thought maybe that was why it hurt so much. Because I was alone again. I didn't know, either. Back then. What I wanted."

Karamatsu breathed out slow. So he hadn't been the only clueless one back then.

"But you weren't completely gone yet. You were still around town. We still hung out sometimes. And even when you fucking drove me nuts, I was still always happy to see you. You were my dependable Karamatsu, even when you weren't. It wasn't until everyone went away that I got it. Because I was all alone again, really alone this time, and the person I missed most was you. Even when you left my apartment, I could still see you whenever I wanted. It wasn't until I didn't even have that anymore that I felt like--I felt like I'd lost everything. Like I had to remake myself because there wasn't anything left. Everything I did reminded me of you, of all of you. So I started doing different things."

And different people. Karamatsu still felt a yawning cavern inside himself every time he thought about all the men Chibita had been with, but now it was filled with regret. Chibita had been so alone. He hadn't lost Chibita; he'd left him. And Chibita had filled his own cavern with casual sex and good times, and how could he blame him? How could he blame him for abandoning the idea of "forever" when the best he'd ever had was "for now"?

"But that's not working, either," Chibita said. "Like, I like it. Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of fun--"

Karamatsu grip tightened incrementally.

"But it's not working. I thought it was helping, that getting a new hobby or whatever would help me get over it. But then you show up and it's like I'm all alone again. I've been a wreck all fucking day. I couldn't stop thinking about having sex with you. Not the first time, I guess, but this time I just... I was so scared. Like... What if I liked it? What if you didn't? What if... What if I did a good job and you realized what you'd been missing all this time..."

Karamatsu didn't say anything. It probably wouldn't have gone over well if he'd said he'd known what he was missing the second he'd heard other men were having it. That made it sound like he only wanted Chibita because other people wanted him and that--that just wasn't true.

"I don't think I can get over you," Chibita admitted. "And I thought I had to because you were over me, but..."

"I'm not," Karamatsu said. That much was obvious to them both. No one had a fucking panic attack in someone's bathroom because it was fun.

Chibita was quiet for a moment, and Karamatsu could almost feel him building up that legendary spine of his. Then, "Do you think maybe we could try again?"

Karamatsu's pulse quickened. "The sex or...?"

Chibita shook his head against his shoulder. "All of it."

All of it. All of it. Going by the oden cart whenever he wanted to, just because he wanted to hear Chibita's laugh. Hearing him snore quietly at night when everything else was still. Chatting about everything and nothing as Chibita chopped vegetables for dinner. Holding each other close, kissing, grinding, touching him the way he'd always wanted to... God. All of it.

"I don't want to have sex with you," Karamatsu said, abruptly.

Chibita tensed at his side. "What?" he asked. "I go and fucking pour my stupid heart to you and--"

Karamatsu took a chance. He turned his head to the side, just so, and caught his lips against the side of Chibita's mouth. "I want to make love."

Chibita froze for just a second, and then all of his air seemed to pour out of him at once. "You asshole," he said weakly. "That's just like you. Fucking painful."

And then Chibita kissed him.

It wasn't like before. Before, Chibita had been a man on a mission. Now he was just soft and slow and sweet. Brushing his lips over Karamatsu's, pressing in lightly every so often. Catching their lips together, pulling away, leaning in with another sigh. He was so good at this that it almost made Karamatsu a little self-conscious.

"Sorry," Karamatsu mumbled into the kiss. "I'll get better at this, I promise."

Chibita blinked at him, his eyes gone hazy in a way that made Karamatsu's stomach flutter. "What're you talking about, idjit? I love the way you kiss me." He leaned in again, reached out so he could caress Karamatsu's cheek with gentle fingers as he kissed him. "Like I mean something."

"Darling," Karamatsu said, the endearment coming out as naturally as breath, "you mean everything."

Chibita made a tiny, broken sound into their kiss, like he couldn't quite decide whether he wanted to laugh or cry. "Painful," was all he said, before kissing him again.

And Karamatsu, Karamatsu could have done this for the rest of his life, but after just a few minutes, Chibita was pulling away again. "What's wrong?" he asked, blinking down at Chibita a little dopily.

"Nothing's wrong," Chibita said, but the way that he was pulling away seemed at odds with his words. "Just thought you might want to clean up a little before we..." He paused, nose wrinkling. "'Make love'."

Karamatsu flushed. The mess in his pants was absolutely disgusting, clammy and sticky at the same time, but it had seemed like such a small thing when Chibita was laying his heart bare for them both to dissect. Now that he was starting to come to attention again, though? Now he could feel it. "Can I...?"

"You know where the shower is," Chibita said with a shrug.

He did, he thought with a little thrill, and how many of Chibita's one-night stands had been able to say the same thing?

Letting go of Chibita wasn't easy, but another couple kisses and murmured endearments later, Karamatsu was staggering to his feet and into the shower room. He left his soiled clothes for Future Karamatsu to worry about, then stepped under a scalding spray.

It was, he realized, a little scarier to think about their upcoming activities when Chibita wasn't pressed warm against his side. He sort of half-wished he'd invited Chibita to shower with him, but it was probably for the best that he have some time to pull himself the fuck together. He still hadn't managed to put the facts of the night into a working order in his brain, hadn't quite been able to make sense of them. He'd walked into the apartment practically a stranger, and now...what? He and Chibita loved each other again? Hell, had they ever stopped?

It didn't make sense. It just didn't. But what part of his life did, really? What part of his bizarre day-to-day life fit into a neat little narrative? Maybe this time, he thought as he washed away salt and snot and other distasteful things, he'd just take things as they came. He couldn't guarantee that this thing with Chibita would be forever. He couldn't guarantee that they'd have a beautiful romance for the ages. This mess of theirs didn't belong in a romantic film, that was for damn sure. But Chibita had given him a second chance. And that would have to be enough.

He stepped out of the shower feeling clean and new and, well, <i>almost</i> ready to try again. He wasn't sure what Chibita would want this time, but he had hopes that he'd do better.

Better in bed, better in life. He had hopes.

He walked out of the shower room, feeling a little awkward holding a damp towel around his mostly-dry waist. He hadn't had any new clothes to change into, but if Chibita was just planning on taking them off anyway...

Chibita looked up from his phone, sprawled where he was on the futon, and Karamatsu saw his fingers slip as his eyes widened. Well. That was gratifying.

"I didn't know..." Karamatsu started, awkward, but he didn't know quite how to finish. He didn't know if there was something he should be wearing. If there was something Chibita wanted him to do. Hell, he hadn't even known if there was somewhere specific Chibita had wanted him to clean.

"Just come here," Chibita said, sitting up a little straighter.

Karamatsu didn't have to be asked twice. He padded over to him, feeling the familiar sensation of Chibita's tatami beneath his toes, until he was right at the futon's edge. He knelt down next to Chibita, knowing that if he sat down pretty much any other way, the towel wouldn't cover up anything. He knew that was the eventual point, but...

Chibita just looked at him for a minute, hot eyes tracing over all the lines of him, and Karamatsu fought not to fidget under his gaze. Then Chibita reached out, squeezed one knee, and said, "Can I...?"

Could he what? Karamatsu swallowed hard and nodded, knowing that the answer, truthfully enough, was that he'd let Chibita do anything.

Chibita carefully slid his fingers up the seam where the ends of the towel met, but once he got to where they were tucked together, he didn't pull them apart. He just let his fingers rest there, gentle, as he leaned in for a kiss.

It was disappointingly brief; Karamatsu had only just settled into the warmth of him before he was pulling away again. "So what was your plan?" Chibita asked him, and Karamatsu just blinked at him. "Your plan, before you got here," Chibita clarified. "You wanted to make it so good I'd never let you go, right? What did you want to do?"

Karamatsu's red face only went redder. After their first disastrous attempt, all his plans just sounded foolish in his head. "I wanted..." He swallowed. "I wanted to kiss you. All of you. All over. And then maybe... Maybe um. Suck you." Fuck, this was embarrassing. "And then we could, y'know," he said, making a strange, abortive little gesture that he hoped communicated fucking. "You on top, or me. I wasn't sure which you'd want."

Chibita's eyes had gone wide and dark and a little bit glazed, but all he did was swallow hard and say, "That sounds like a lot for your first time."

"Yeah," Karamatsu said, looking down at his knees. It had clearly been a lot more than he'd been capable of.

Chibita looked at him, at his red, red face and the slump of his shoulders, and then he smiled. It was a private little smile, but the sweetest one Karamatsu had seen on him all night. "My first time, I came before he even got me wet all the way. I think I really surprised him. He'd barely even touched me. I thought I was gonna die, I was so embarrassed," he said.

Karamatsu didn't really want to think about another man slicking Chibita up inside, but he understood what Chibita was doing here. "And what happened?" he asked.

Chibita shrugged. "He fucked me anyway. It still feels good even if you aren't hard anymore," he said. "It usually turns out okay eventually. Even bad sex is pretty good."

Karamatsu paused, tilted his head to the side. "I would have waited," he finally said. "I would've gotten you hard again before I did anything else. I want..." God, he was red. It'd be amazing if he could actually get a hard-on with this much blood up in his face. "I want you to feel good."

"It's not that simple," Chibita said, and ducked in for another kiss. "And besides, sometimes I liked it that way."

Damn. Wrong again, somehow, even when he was trying to be romantic. Karamatsu drooped.

"Don't worry," Chibita said, laying his fingers against Karamatsu's collar and leaning up on his knees so he could press their foreheads together. "I'll show you what I like."

Karamatsu's breaths went a little unsteady. Communication, he'd read, would be key. He'd certainly learned his lesson on that front. And god, wouldn't it be so much easier to have Chibita teach him what to do? So much easier than reading dozens of internet guides and feeling around with his own fingers like they could be any substitute for Chibita's. So much easier than thinking about any sex act imaginable and wondering if that would be what would drive Chibita crazy.

Maybe making things difficult wasn't necessarily more romantic. He didn't have to figure things out on his own. He didn't have to make elaborate plans and sweep Chibita off his feet. He just had to listen to him and do what he wanted him to do.

Karamatsu reached out to pull Chibita in close, one hand on his back and the other curving up his spine until he could cup the back of Chibita's head and bring their lips together again. "I'll do anything you want," he murmured, soft.

Chibita kissed him back, gentle at first, then deep. And Karamatsu, god, was starting to become so fond of that tongue. It was slow, it was scorching, and Karamatsu could feel a shiver from his head all the way down to his cock. Fuck.

Chibita was rubbing along the fold of the towel, dipping his fingertips below it. "Why don't we start with something easy?" he asked, so close that Karamatsu could still feel the whisper of his tongue against his lips.

"Okay," he mumbled, like he'd be able to say no to a goddamn thing Chibita said at this point.

Chibita pulled back, just a breath, and Karamatsu instantly missed his heat. "I want to take this off," Chibita said, tapping the towel. "D'you want to take my clothes off, or should I?"

"I want to," Karamatsu blurted before he'd even really made sense of the question. "Can I--"

Chibita laughed, and god, Karamatsu had missed his laugh. "Sure," he said. "I picked stuff that comes off easy."

The shirt, for sure, came off easy. Karamatsu enjoyed it, too, the feeling of his fingers skimming against Chibita's ribs, his warm belly, as he slid his hands up under Chibita's loose shirt. He pulled it up over his head, Chibita helping out readily enough, and then there was just. There was so much to look at. All that soft, warm skin, golden in the lamplight, and Karamatsu could have just looked at that for days.

But Chibita was wiggling, was pulling Karamatsu's hands down to the waistband of his shorts so they could work together to get them off. There were still every bit as tight as they'd looked when Karamatsu had walked through the door, dumbstruck at Chibita's beauty, but Karamatsu could feel now that they were light, malleable. Maybe some kind of workout shorts. And then Chibita eased Karamatsu's fingers beneath the waistband and Karamatsu's mouth went dry.

"You're not wearing anything under these," he said, a breathless statement rather than a question.

"Nope," Chibita said, and his voice was light and playful in a way that was so, so much better than his tense curtness earlier that evening. Was this the way Chibita always was during sex? Or was he starting to feel some of the wild relief that Karamatsu was, that strange buoyancy around his heart?

God, Karamatsu really fucking hoped so. Because he was still nervous, still didn't know what the hell he was doing there, but there was a sort of lightness inside him that was filling him up. He felt better than he had in weeks, in months, and it was all down to that sparkle in Chibita's eyes.

Karamatsu kissed him, was helpless not to, as he slid one of his hands into Chibita's shorts so he could cup his bare ass.

Chibita gasped into the kiss, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he just raised his ass up a little bit to make it easier for Karamatsu to slide in the fingers of his other hand too, to caress all that beautiful warm, soft skin and yank the fabric down around it.

Karamatsu could feel Chibita pulling away again, squirming as he helped Karamatsu pull the shorts down his legs, but he didn't open his eyes, couldn't, until they were done.

And then he opened his eyes and Chibita was naked, gloriously so, and watching him with eyes that laughed.

"Like what you see?" Chibita asked him, and fuck, what kind of question was that?

"Like" was too mild a word for what Karamatsu felt looking at him now. There was heat, such intense fucking heat, all the way down, but there was also a sense of wild, childish wonder. Like he'd never quite thought he'd really get there. That he'd really be right the fuck where he was right now. He'd seen Chibita naked before; Chibita had never been particularly shy with his nudity. But this, this was so different. Chibita's skin was so warm, his cock was just starting to fill, and all that flesh was for him.

"Fuck," Karamatsu said, and it came out as an embarrassing whimper.

But Chibita only looked pleased, and he did a little something, something fucking sinful with those hips of his, an undulation that Karamatsu was pretty sure he'd never be able to replicate. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

"Now," Chibita said. "Let me do something about this," he said, putting one hand to the fold keeping Karamatsu's towel in place, "So I can do something about this." He pressed his other hand to the rising bulge in Karamatsu's lap, lightly squeezing his cock through the material and just...

"Do it," Karamatsu groaned, "Quick." He didn't want a repeat of last time.

"I've got you," Chibita said, dragging the heel of his hand across Karamatsu lap in another maddening caress. With his other hand, he moved his hand down, away from the folds. Karamatsu whimpered again, and he bobbed his hip upward like he could push Chibita's hand back where he wanted it to be.

"Shh," Chibita murmured, and put his hand right on Karamatsu's thigh, then started to slide it upward. Karamatsu realized what he was doing right as the loose folds fell away under the movement of his hand, and then Chibita was pulling the towel away, pushing it back to expose Karamatsu's hard cock to the open air of his apartment.

Karamatsu spared a brief second of anxiety, of worry that Chibita might not like what he saw, but Chibita was just staring down at him greedily, absorbing every detail like he could store it away in his memory for later.

Karamatsu thought about Chibita remembering him later, of Chibita touching himself to the memory of Karamatsu's cock, and his own erection jerked beneath Chibita's gaze. Fuck. He hadn't thought that it was possible that Chibita might want him as much as Karamatsu wanted him, but the heated, wondering look in Chibita's eyes had him guessing otherwise.

"Sit flat," Chibita said to him, voice gone hoarse, and Karamatsu would have fucking jumped off a goddamn cliff if that voice had asked him to. "I can't get in your lap if you're sitting up like that."

Karamatsu swept his legs out from under himself so quickly that he almost kicked Chibita, who only snickered at his hurry. He untangled the towel from his legs, pushed it off to the side somewhere so it wouldn't get in their way, then sat flat with his legs loosely crossed in front of him. He could tell that he was perfectly on display like this. That Chibita could see goddamn everything.

Let him look. Karamatsu liked having Chibita's eyes on him.

Chibita did look, eyes taking in the view with interest even as he crawled forward so he could climb in Karamatsu's lap. They were right up against each other now, Chibita's legs splayed wide across his, and just an inch more and--

Chibita moved an inch more, pushing his cock right up against Karamatsu's, and Karamatsu's breath stuttered to a stop. "You--"

"Yeah," Chibita said, too smug now for words, and he ground up against Karamatsu, skin on skin and god, it felt so good. They'd been in this position before, just a little while ago, and Chibita had clearly thought that it'd be good for an encore. This time there were no clothes separating them, though, no hurt feelings and misunderstandings and broken fucking hearts. It was just skin and skin and skin and the muffled laughter in Chibita's throat. He reached down between them, put one hand on Karamatsu's chest to steady himself and the other in their laps to stroke them both together.

He was casual as he stroked, like he wasn't driving Karamatsu out of his mind, like it wasn't the best thing he'd ever felt in his entire life. This was "easy", he knew. This was just beginner's stuff, hand jobs and grinding, but fuck, fuck, it was so good that Karamatsu couldn’t imagine doing anything better. Chibita's fingers caught against skin still slightly damp from the shower, and the sensation was like nothing Karamatsu could even try to put words to. All the flowery words in the world couldn't describe the simple pleasure of Chibita hand on his cock.

"Hey," Chibita murmured, his voice taking on this sexy, raspy tone that Karamatsu wanted to hear every day for the rest of his life. "Y'know, I've never made a guy come in his pants before."

Karamatsu blinked at him, momentarily confused. Why the hell was Chibita bringing that up now? "I..."

But Chibita just smiled at him, free and joyful in a way that Karamatsu hadn't seen in months, and leaned in close, closer, so he could kiss him deep. "It was really hot," he whispered.

And fuck, fuck, wasn't that just like Chibita? Liking him despite his faults. Maybe even loving him for them. Karamatsu groaned deep in his throat, then reached down himself so he could give Chibita a hand. Chibita gasped, but let him, moved to the side so Karamatsu could do whatever the hell he wanted. It was awkward at first, two hands doing different things, but then Karamatsu caught on to the way of it, the rhythm, and suddenly he and Chibita were moving together, were pulling and stroking and rubbing themselves together and fuck, fuck.

Karamatsu knew he was close, was sure he was about to embarrass himself all over Chibita's hand, but then Chibita moaned, loud and long, and came all over the both of them. His hand went slack around Karamatsu's cock, but Karamatsu just wrapped his hand around Chibita's, forced them both to rub a little harder, a little faster, Chibita's come making everything nice and slick and smoothing the way and--

Bliss. Karamatsu choked on his own orgasm, a sound that wasn't quite a moan and wasn't quite a cry, a sound he was pretty sure he'd never made before but hopefully would again. Waves of pleasure overtook him and it was blinding, it was everything. And when he came down, Chibita was holding him close.

Chibita let Karamatsu rest his head against his shoulder, running his clean fingers through Karamatsu's hair as they both breathed hard. Chibita ran his other hand down Karamatsu's back, and he couldn't even mind the mess. It felt so good here in Chibita's arms.

"You okay?" Chibita asked softly, pressing a kiss to Karamatsu's hair.

Karamatsu nodded mutely against Chibita's shoulder. He was too tired to do anything else.

Chibita was quiet for a moment, then asked, even more quietly, "Was it good?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, and he hoped that Chibita understood that mumble for the achievement it was.

"Good." Chibita's breathing slowed, slowly but surely, as his fingers brushed the shivers from Karamatsu's skin. Then, quietest of all: "Good enough to stay?"

Karamatsu blinked against Chibita's skin. Exhaustion be damned. He sat up best he could and looked Chibita dead in the eyes. "I will stay," he said, as clearly as he could, "As long as you'll let me. I won't go until you make me go." He swallowed. "I love you."

Chibita blinked once, very quick, but Karamatsu knew it wasn't surprise this time. Chibita's eyes shone too bright for that. "Good," he said again, and his voice sounded thick. He pulled Karamatsu in for one quick gentle kiss. "Good," he murmured one more time, as if to himself. As if reassuring himself that yes, they were good. They were great. This, all this, wouldn't have to happen again.

He didn't say it back, though. Those words. Karamatsu knew it was harder for Chibita, that it was harder for most people than it was for him, but there was also the chance that--that Chibita didn't, anymore. That now he'd have to settle for something a little less. Karamatsu worried at his bottom lip, tried to think of what to say. How to ask.

"Was it," he said tentatively, "Was it so good you can't bear to let me go?"

And god, that really had been such a fucking stupid plan. But Chibita only smiled at him, a little watery, and said, "No, idjit. It really wasn't. But it will be. We'll have a long time to work on it. This wasn't--this wasn't some one-night thing." He kissed Karamatsu again, achingly gentle. "You're not like the rest."

"Yeah?" Karamatsu asked, because he couldn't help but dig just a little more. He could see there in Chibita's eyes that he knew what Karamatsu wanted to hear.

"Yeah," he said. And then he paused for a moment and Karamatsu could see the struggle written on his face, the fear and sadness and loneliness that had never quite gone away. But then Chibita relaxed, sighed like he'd come to a decision that he'd been fighting with for a long, long time. "Yeah," he said again. "I love you, too."

"Good," Karamatsu said, and his voice wobbled dangerously. He could feel his eyes starting to sting, and he put his head back down on Chibita's shoulder so he could keep his tears to himself.

Later, much later, after their breaths had evened and they'd been able to bear to let go of each other, after Chibita had gone to the bathroom and come back with a wet rag they could use on each other, after they'd straightened the futon and turned out the lights and lay down together, Karamatsu rolled over in Chibita's futon and curled against his back.

It felt strange. The air in here was the same, the dripping faucet and the cars outside, the faint shapes of Chibita's furniture in the blackness. Chibita's soft breaths. But they'd never lain together like this back then. They'd always had separate futons then, and at least an arm's length between them. This, all this warm skin and a sense of togetherness that was lovely and frightening both, this was all new.

Karamatsu thought about forever and whether romantic things like that really existed. He liked to think they did. He liked to think the whole world was one big stage, and if you were lucky, you might stumble into one of its epic love stories. But he and Chibita didn't fit into any of those stories. Maybe they didn't have forever, either. But they had now, right now, and right now Karamatsu had a kind of happiness inside him that he wasn't sure he'd ever felt before.

"Can I use your washing machine tomorrow morning?" Karamatsu murmured against Chibita's neck, punctuating the request with a kiss. As much as he enjoyed lying here naked with Chibita now, tomorrow he'd have to get home somehow.

"Yeah," Chibita said, soft and drowsy. "We can hang it up together. I hear tomorrow's gonna be a beautiful day."

#...I do feel better now tho #like weirdly enough I feel like this whole endeavor really did help with my mental health #so there's that #karabita #fic stuff #oso

42 notes · View notes

operationrainfall · 4 years

Text

Title Enter & Exit the Gungeon Developer Dodge Roll, Singlecore Publisher Devolver Digital Release Date December 14th, 2017 (Enter); May 17th, 2020 (Exit) Genre Rogue-like, Bullet Hell, platformer Platform PC, Nintendo Switch, PS4, Xbox One Age Rating T for Teen (Enter); E10+ (Exit) Official Website

Thanks to the Binding of Isaac, I’ve developed a taste for two things – rogue games and twin-stick shooters. Which isn’t to say I love them all, but I’m much more receptive to well crafted, challenging entries in the genre now than I was before. Games like, for example, Enter the Gungeon. I really enjoyed it years ago when I demoed it, but was worried I had missed my chance to review it. After all, it came out for Switch back in 2017. And though I had purchased it digitally on a sale, I hadn’t gotten around to playing it years later. But thankfully, Devolver Digital and Dodge Roll had a silver bullet up their sleeves. When they recently announced that crazed sequel, Exit the Gungeon, was coming to Switch, I saw an opportunity. I could finally dust off my copy (figuratively speaking) of Enter the Gungeon and then play through Exit the Gungeon. And while I don’t typically review two games in one shot, there’s a first time for everything. The big question is, was my trip into the depths of the Gungeon worth the wait?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

First things first. Both Gungeon games aren’t big on plot. That’s not the same as saying there isn’t any, cause there is a motivating force behind both. In Enter, your goal is to find a mythical gun that can literally kill your past, rewriting your miserable history. The only thing between you and your goal is an ever shifting labyrinth of Gundead, deadly if comical looking foes. In Exit the Gungeon, your group of heroes has damaged the time stream by overusing that mystical gun. As a result, time and space are reacting in unpredictable ways, and the Gungeon itself is falling apart. Your goal is to escape before that happens. So there is definitely a narrative in both games, just enough to keep you invested. Both games also have tons of hilariously punny bosses, some examples being the Gatling Gull and Cannonbalrog, as well as fourth wall breaking humor. You can find a certain blue bomber’s Megahand in Enter the Gungeon, for example. Or you can murder cute little bubble spewing dragons. There’s tons and tons of little references like this to several classic series, and they all lend themselves to the overall zany tone of both Gungeon games. There’s also a ton of lore for each item, weapon and foe in the game’s Ammonomicon. Once I discovered that on the pause menu, I perused several entries and always came away entertained. But the real reason you’re gonna play either of the Gungeon games isn’t the plot – it’s the gameplay. And I can say that both definitely deliver.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Let’s start with Enter the Gungeon. This was definitely the more challenging of the two games. It took me somewhere in the neighborhood of 31 hours to beat the game once. Granted, rogue games have a tendency to be challenging, especially if you get a bad roll of the dice, but that’s still pretty rough. Thankfully, I kept playing because I was enjoying myself. The basic formula is explore and fight your way through several interconnected rooms, find and beat the boss, travel to the next floor, rinse and repeat until you’ve beaten the final boss. Much like Binding of Isaac, truly beating the game requires more than those simple steps, and suffice to say I didn’t have time for that. Thankfully I was able to beat the High Dragun, so technically speaking I did beat the game for the purposes of this review.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

One thing I really liked about Enter was how much control you have over ever minute detail. You can manually reload each of your guns with Y, there’s a handy drop down menu that slows down time as you select your next weapon, and you can move and aim simultaneously with the joysticks. Guns are fired with the R trigger, and the L trigger does a handy dodge roll with temporary invincibility. Basic stuff, but it’s implemented really well here. When you lose, it’s generally cause you did something stupid like grab a cursed item or your reflexes just weren’t up to snuff. You’ll do well to hoard all the keys you can find, since each floor typically has multiple chests you can open up. These will either provide you a new gun or a new item, with passive or activated effects. Or if you’re unlucky, they’ll be a mimic in disguise, waiting to murder you.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

As you travel you’ll also come across a not so friendly shopkeep that sells wares, but don’t make the mistake of firing your guns in his store too often. While there’s only one shop at first, you’ll gradually find and free various prisoners that will populate the Gungeon in subsequent runs. Some will also show up in the HUB area, so it’s good to not always Quick Start a new game, taking you immediately into a new run without visiting the HUB. All of them will offer some service, if you have the cash and the need. Perhaps my favorite feature, though, are the maps. As you run about, the current floor is accurately displayed, and most rooms have teleporters. At any time outside of combat, you are free to bring up the map, select a teleport node and just instantly travel there. It really made the experience flow remarkably well.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

There’s a handful of characters you can pick from, and each has slight quirks that might make them more or less appealing to certain playstyles. These are the main possible characters in both games – Marine, Pilot, Hunter and Convict. They each have a primary weapon with unlimited ammo, and they all fire somewhat differently. Also, they have passive boosts, such as the Marine’s Military Training, which makes his shots fire more accurately and reduces charge time. And though it took me a while before I noticed, each character has a handy item they can choose to activate, generally with limited uses. The Pilot has his “Trusty Lockpick,” which sometimes lets him open chests without a key; meanwhile the Convict has access to Molotov Cocktails she can use to burn foes to a crisp. They all play somewhat differently, and those passive boosts can go a long way. There’s technically a fifth main character, the Cultist. The catch is she can only be used in co-op, which I was unable to try for this review. And if you’ve spent more time with the game than I have, you can also unlock some other playable characters. My favorite was definitely the Marine, since he starts with a layer of armor and his Military Training meant his Pistol was more useful than the other starting weapons. But none of them are horrible, they just force you to try different things to succeed.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

When you’re not picking up weapons and blasting holes in things, there’s a lot of other elements that spice up gameplay. You’ll find obstacles that can be used to your advantage, such as explosive barrels and chandeliers you can drop on enemy heads. There’s also less helpful features like buzz saws, jets of flame, freezing ice cubes and more. And lest I forget, holes. That last part normally wouldn’t merit mention, but after I died repeatedly from rolling into holes I didn’t realize were there, it started to become problematic. Which isn’t to say the gameplay is bad, far from it. But for whatever reason, the game likes to generate holes in already dark rooms, where they tend to blend in with the background. Maybe it’s a matter of shading, but it caused me more frustration than I expected. Thankfully, the rest of the Enter gameplay works wonders. It’s fun to dodge and weave, flip up tables to block bullets, roll through bullets and the like. Both Gungeon games definitely reward you for playing skillfully, especially Exit the Gungeon. And you’ll need to play well, since these games have some intense boss battles.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Enter the Gungeon has a whole ton of bosses, and besides referencing things like Dungeons & Dragons, they all tend to be focused on gun and bullet puns. Which I was totally okay with, even if it was a bit silly. I mean in a game where even keys have bullets, you tend to either appreciate the goofiness or get turned off by it. The bosses are where the game shows off the bullet hell features, as even the most basic will flood the screen with interlocking patterns of nasty projectiles. Many of them also love to move around the arena, forcing you to evade and think on your feet. Even the easiest boss is more than capable of killing you if you’re not careful. Going into battle armed with a great gun or two definitely helps, but it’s not required. That said, I did appreciate how much breathing room you generally had to avoid projectiles in Enter the Gungeon. That’s definitely not the case in Exit, where the screen is much smaller and forced into a 2D perspective. Thankfully, overall the bosses in the sequel are a bit more forgiving, at least once you’ve learned to successfully dodge their attacks. I also loved how practically all the bosses in Exit the Gungeon are insane mashups of two or more bosses from the first game. As an example, there’s one called Medusilier Bomb Shell, which is the Gorgun from the first game in the hollowed out Fusilier mini boss’ shell, using weapons brandished by the final boss of that game. It’s really silly and rewarding if you’re familiar with the original adventure.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Overall I really enjoyed my time with the first game, even if it could frustrate me on occasion. There’s a plethora of items to unlock that can increase your odds of success, such as one that makes it so flipping a table stuns all foes, or one that makes dodge rolls reload your guns. The hardest part of this game was the platforming, especially when you get a run that’s focused on murdering you. And for minor irritants, how about the fact that weapon combinations aren’t listed anywhere? You might get two weapons or items that work better together, providing enhanced effects, such as having the Bubble Blaster and Siren guns equipped, providing homing bubbles and massive bubble blasts. I was also annoyed that I couldn’t find anywhere that the game tracks which characters have beaten the game in Enter. And lastly, Enter the Gungeon can really cramp your hands, at least playing the Switch portably. Not that any of these complaints stopped me playing for very long. Plus, considering the game only costs $14.99, all my issues are pretty easy to overlook.

We’re not done yet! Turn to Page 2 to Exit the Gungeon! ->

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

In many ways, Exit the Gungeon is the condensed, somehow crazier version of the first game. It’s different in a number of ways, but I felt it was the superior experience. Or I felt that way eventually. At first I was really frustrated by how hard the game seemed, and a lot of that had to do with the change in perspective. I mentioned how in Enter the Gungeon, you have a lot more room to roam about and avoid damage. That is entirely not the case here, where you’re usually trapped on a moving elevator or some other narrow vertical space, avoiding bullets and blasting foes to smithereens. Another reason I was initially not as hot on the sequel was how it handles dodge rolls.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Enter the Gungeon quickly sold me on the utility of dodging bullets to survive. It was just intuitive and easy to grasp. Here though, you can dodge in many different directions. You can still dodge horizontally, but now you can also dodge upwards and downwards. That last one caused the most confusion, since dropping from one platform to another counts as dodging and makes you temporarily invincible. Eventually I got the hang of it, and learned to do smart things like jump up to dodge one bullet then dodge horizontally to avoid another. Keep in mind that when I say “one bullet,” I’m being conservative. Normally there’s a whole shooting range of bullets flying at your face at once, so you’ll need all the dodging you can handle.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The other way that Exit the Gungeon most distinguishes itself is through Kaliber. The goddess of guns herself is helping you, kind of. See in this game you only have one gun at a time, period. But every few seconds, Kaliber will magically change which gun you’re using. If you play well and thus increase your combo level, it’s more likely that you’ll get rewarded with amazing weapons. Which is good, since you want those Mass Shotguns, not the Bubble Bobble guns. Even if you’re amazing, it’s still more than a little random, so get used to your weapon changing unexpectedly at the worst possible time. To make up for this, you can acquire passive upgrade items like in the first game, as well as grabbing floating temporary booster shots. These will grant you various upgrades for a limited amount of time, whereas the usual items last the entire run. Thankfully, a successful run in Exit the Gungeon will take you a half hour max, whereas the first game getting all the way through can take more than an hour. That’s a big part of why beating Exit only took me some 6 hours total.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Exit really grew on me the longer I played. Once I got accustomed to things, I grew to really like the quirks. The controls were very intuitive here, since all you really need to do is aim to fire your gun, instead of aim, fire bullets and reload. I also utterly adored the bizarre bosses found in this game, most notably the weirder ones like the feline version of Dr. Robotnik and the Bullet King’s Chancellor, Toadstool! The entire thing felt much more streamlined, for better and for worse. Take Blanks for example. These are found in both games, and clear all bullets from the screen. In Enter, you had to press down on both joysticks simultaneously to activate a Blank, but in Exit you can do so with a single shoulder button press. But for every feature like that, there was stuff that felt out of balance. I liked the ease of gameplay and less hand cramping controls, but I also missed having a plethora of guns, bosses and foes. And if I complained about the platforming in the first game, it can be even rougher here. It’s very easy to fall off the sides of some areas, and you have much less maneuverability to avoid damage. But then again, you don’t have to worry about things like storing extra hearts for later use or weapon synergy combos. Plus, some weapons that were less effective in the first game are super powerful here, such as the powerful exploding banana. But then foes that barely bothered me, like the annoying Rubber Kin, are suddenly dangerous agents of death. And while I do like shorter runs, I wish I could save progress here and return later like I could in Enter. One of the more interesting aspects of this game is that once unlocked, bosses can seemingly appear in any area they want, with the exception of the final boss. That means you really need to master fighting all of them, since you never know when exactly they’ll show up.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Like in the first game, you’ll find and rescue prisoners who can later aid you. But just as the Gungeon itself is in a chaotic state of flux, so are its inhabitants. A hilarious example is Manservantes and the King. In the first game, they would challenge you to beat a room a certain way, and then reward you for it. Here, the servant is now the boss, and the king has been mutated into a bloated crybaby. When you encounter them now, you play a twisted golfing mini game using the former king as your ball. Like I said, this game is somehow even more crazy, and I love that about it. Sure it still shares the same DNA as the first game, with multiple playable characters and bosses, but there’s interesting new ideas. Each character now has a more set in stone path to the final boss, and you can actually unlock and play that route as other characters. Also totally new is that you can customize your heroes with hats and costumes. Sure, they serve no practical purpose, but sometimes you just want to look snazzy. Just keep in mind, while in the first game beating bosses provides Hegemony Credits used to unlock useful items for subsequent runs, here you also need to use those Credits for hats and suits. At least if you’re a completionist.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Both of the Gungeon games have tremendous art and musical direction. There’s a whole boatload of foes, and each is rendered with love and care. While none of them are anywhere near as demented as those I grew fond of in The Binding of Isaac, there’s still some delightfully dark humor here. I appreciated how so many foes are basically walking bullets holding gun or grenades that run to you and explode, and many others are totally unexpected and freaky, such as the giant hand that throws you back in time, or the terrifying bullet spewing Lead Maiden. The biggest difference aesthetically between the games is that the sprites in Exit the Gungeon are a bit more bombastic and larger than in Enter. That said, neither game is close to ugly, and there’s a lot of personality on display, from the faces of the Gundead to the dozens of crazed weapons you can use. While there’s plenty of basic weapons like shotguns and rifles, there’s also things like mailboxes, demonic tentacles, unicorn horns and much more. Musically, the first game can be a bit milder at times, but there’s also a good variety of tunes to distinguish different areas. I did slightly prefer the music of the second game, perhaps just cause it was less reserved.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Though I had some minor problems with both games, none of it was a huge deal. Sure I got annoyed with platforming in both games, and sometimes the first game was more than a bit aggravating. Plus the load times can get long and there’s some occasional slowdown when a lot is happening on screen. And I really didn’t love how sometimes I got hit by enemies I couldn’t fully see on screen in Exit the Gungeon. But overall, the pros most decidedly outweighed the cons, especially since both games are so inexpensive, with Exit only costing $9.99.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I’m ecstatic I finally found the time and presence of mind to play through both Gungeon games. While it’s true the first one is more jam packed with content, the second makes up for it by doing an amazing job of distilling the unique essence into a more palatable form. In all, I spent nearly 40 hours playing through both games combined, and enjoyed every crazed minute. Games like this are why I’ll always be a fan of Devolver Digital, and why I eagerly await what’s next from Dodge Roll and Singlecore. If you love crazy, hardcore rogue games with more than a bit of insanity thrown in, you can’t go wrong with either one. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put in dozens more hours to fully complete both games!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4.5″]

Author Purchased Copy of Enter the Gungeon. Publisher Provided Copy of Exit the Gungeon.

And many thanks to Brandon Rose for the awesome Featured Image!

REVIEW: Oprainfall Conquers the Gungeon Title Enter & Exit the Gungeon

#Bullet-Hell #Devolver Digital #Dodge Roll #Enter the Gungeon #Exit the Gungeon #Singlecore #Twin stick

0 notes