#i really appreciate people sending them in

[kachowden]

Gonna start calling these late night drabbles or something at this point.

You know those ASMR videos, where it’s two people, and one of them has like different fluffy brushes and oils and stuff that they rub on the person laying down? Like a massage? Visual ASMR?

I’m thinking about a yandere asmrtist who brought you in for one those videos. Maybe you won a giveaway or something, but realistically I think you were originally a fan. So he didn’t know you at all.

But then of course, you showed up at his studio. Stunning. Gorgeous. Irresistible. The whole package really. And he felt something deep in his stomach. Maybe butterflies. Maybe indigestion. Regardless, despite having done this before, he’s nervous. Off the bat it’s awkward.

But he’s a professional. So he powers through. A few moments of idle chat, and various prep work goes by, before you’re lying on the cot, surrounded by herbal candles and oils that already send you into a deep state of relaxation.

He starts the video as he always does, jumping right into it. Brushing your hair back, smoothing down the skin on your shoulders. Tracing your features with a soft fluffy stick thingy. Goes the whole nine yards. And the entire time he is sweating buckets from how aroused he is.

At some point through the session he starts to wonder if his heavy breathing is as visible as he thinks it is. If you can feel the sweat dripping down his arms and forehead. And his composure starts to wane. The way your breathing slows, the way your muscles relax. It’s driving him a little crazy. You’re so…comfortable. Because of him. He made you comfortable.

That means something doesn’t it? I mean you were a fan of his anyway. So obviously you liked him. He liked you too of course. It made him have a new thankfulness for his career. How would he have met you otherwise? His soulmate. No. He wanted to believe no matter what you two would have found each other. This feeling in his chest was so deep and passionate. Surely you guys were past lovers too right? You would’ve found each other.

And since you’ve loved each other before…it should be easy to love again? It’d be natural. Perfect. So when he hands start to squeeze a little more sensually, and his eyes began to lower. He doesn’t feel particularly guilty anymore. Your skin is familiar to his deluded mind. The way his fingers began to dig and mold into your soft skin and flesh, sliding up and down, the fabric of your shirt getting pushed lower…and lower..it’s all familiar. Yes he’s sure of it. You’ve both done this before. Your bodies have collapsed together dozens of times. That’s the only explanation, so there’s no room for guilt.

riiiiiiinnnnngg

And he jumps back, ripped away from his hazey day dream: your eyes fluttering open with a slightly exaggerated yawn that hopefully mutes the sound of his racing heart.

“Wow…” you laugh, and he would’ve taken a moment to appreciate it more if not for his own existing panic. “I totally fell asleep…sorry if that ruined the take.”

He pauses, swallowing thickly as his gaze quickly switches to the green light that beeps atop the camera. Right. He had been recording. He’d have to edit that later.

“No..no it was perfect. I’m sure it’ll make the viewers feel the same ease you were feeling…” his voice is as silky and gentle as always, oozing with the honey that enraptured his audience.

You smiled and hummed with a nod, groggily lifting yourself from the cot you had laid on, and grabbing your things form the chair you had set them on, you lift your hand in a wave. “Well, this was really nice! I totally needed it, and it was super cool meeting you in person! Thanks again-“

“Wait!” He jolted, a blush burning his cheeks at his own over eager behavior. “You did a really good job today, so..I was hoping we could keep in contact if the video does well..”

“Oh..sure thing!”

God you were a total blessing.

[blueaetherr]

permission to feel

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader [she/her]

warning(s): longer than usual, minor mistakes, angst?

summary: the one where two disasters discover lost feelings

author's note: part 2 to this imagine. this was supposed to come out a while ago but i kept changing and rewriting stuff. final product so enjoy as you can.

now playing: come back to me by teyana taylor ft. junie & rick ross

It was late at night when Jude and Y/N decided to stray away from the party. That was what they planned—with hushed discussions, (Jude's) unmistakable winks, one's glances across the room, some slow and steady movements toward the exit—to settle on the beach where Jobe and her brother could find them if they chose to join them sometime later.

But they continued to walk along the beach without a thought to slow down, without a thought beyond themselves and their unceasing conversation.

And they went on to walk along their spontaneous path unbothered. Party music soon became distant to their senses. There were fewer and fewer people to encounter in their wide vicinities. Slurred voices faded into the evening night with ease. Distance between themselves and their siblings stretched beyond agreement—until it was only them, with the company of the sand under their feet and the sound of the sea rolling into itself repeatedly.

And that was okay, really. Even though neither Jude nor Y/N voiced it, this was what they wanted; to be alone together for a moment. One that they probably already robbed themselves of one too many times in the past.

Leaving Jude behind Y/N wandered towards the shoreline of the small beach, quite careless in her steps. She took in a deep inhale, letting her chest rise as she let her senses navigate the setting. Strings of winds softly fanning her face and passing between her fingers, the sea and the sky carefully falling into each other farther out in the distance, sand under, on and laying on her feet—usually, and once irritating and gritty at initial contact—now comforting and warm against her skin.

Letting her chest fall slowly, Y/N closed her eyes. Then, at the touch of wind, the feeling along her legs, the calm in her heart, mind and soul– she smiled.

Being away on holiday let Y/N appreciate the little things whilst being uncaring about her daily obligations. Here she stood, far away from her responsibilities to her family and community. She didn't have to present herself as a model of all things good that others thought came to her innately. She didn't have to wait on anyone; she could receive without feeling she should send too. She didn't have to act as the third parent to her young siblings as they were in the safe care of their parents.

Here, responsibilities were damned to infinity. It was all temporary, of course, she knew that well enough. It's just that, well, for once she could indulge in nothing—or something, or everything—and just rest. That was all she wanted.

Opening her eyes Y/N turned around only to find Jude's gaze stuck on her, his head tilted to the side. She sniffled out a laugh as she made her towards him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

And Jude let his focus remain on her. His gaze circled between Y/N, the sea and the sky, and everything two times over again. His eyes were full of wonder and curiously at the sight of the three differing bodies together and in comparison. Something about resemblances, physical aspects, mirroring movements or even shared loveliness. He had an idea in mind. There was something to say, something to point out. Whether evident or not held no relevance. But he was unsure; a bit of confirmation would ease his mind.

"This... this may sound weird." That was the worry, indeed. That she would find his creation of thoughts and ideas weird. That she would find him weird. But that wasn't it at all. There was a nod and a smile and that was reassuring enough for Jude to resume asking, "Just out of curiosity... has anyone ever compared you to the sea and the sky?"

After telling Jude the meaning behind Blues she had initially believed that all talk and things connected to it anyhow would ultimately die out. She didn't think Jude would catch onto things, even if he was unaware of the fact. Again, Y/N nodded as the existing smile across her lips continued to bloom. "Only one person," she said as she held up a finger.

Jude's face and shoulders fell slightly. He figured this out when he only knew a bit and some about Y/N. There was only one other person who would know this very thing about Y/N, and he knew everything about her. "Please don't tell me it's him." Searching Y/N's expression carefully he found happiness and delight and subtle laughter, and Jude couldn't say he was surprised. Even the mention of his brother in conversation had her in bright spirits. "Really? It was Jobe?"

Y/N scoffed out a laugh. Even while joking Jude still managed to diminish Jobe. "Why are you surprised by that?" she asked as they moved to sit on the sand.

Jude huffed out a deep yet relieving chuckle. "No offence to him. I just—I didn't know he was—" His facial expression almost broke out into a frown, a subtle measure of something. Romantic was the word that first came to him. He knew it didn't apply to his brother nor did Jobe hold anything romantic towards Y/N. The soulmatism between Y/N and Jobe, though grey and blurry, when defined was strictly platonic. There was love between the two and that love would always remain sufficient for them. No more, no less.

Romantic. 'Cause if Jude had been the one to initially compare his friend to the sea and the sky— a pair of bodies he found both regular and remarkable, two figures that reflected Y/N in every way possible— then the gesture would have been romantic. All the way from the intentions down to the execution. Jude pulled in a breath, clearing his throat. "Poetic," was the word he settled with as he shrugged. "I didn't know he was poetic like that."

"Like I always say, he's a sensitive boy," Y/N said, locking her fingers around her knee. "That's probably why I always leaned towards him instead of you growing up." A beat. "That is if you take away other things of course."

"Yeah?"

Y/N hummed, nodding. "Definitely. It lets him be emotionally mature and respond to situations in a logical and understanding manner, and I don't think I could ask for more from someone. Like..." Another beat came between the pair until she let out a sigh, pinching the root of her nose. She already knew what Jude's reaction to her following words would be. "Remember when Jobe had a crush on me?"

Immediately, laughter burst from Jude, filling the open air with his amusement and joy as he leaned back in his place. Y/N tried to discourage him by lightly shoving him though it only encouraged more waves of laughter from Jude. And in the end she had to give up; the sound of happiness, even when originating from mockery, was contagious.

Eventually, Jude let himself calm down. He took a few deep inhales before saying, small laughs still slipping passed his lips, "Oh yes. How could I ever forget?" Being such vivid detail of their childhood and something Jobe could never deny because everyone remembered it, his crush on Y/N was one of the easiest things Jude could tease his brother about.

"The point is— the point is, Jude, yeah," she stressed, dragging her words to overpower his laughter and inability to listen, "you know how I found out about it?" Soon, silence fell over Jude for a second. He tilted his head in thought though nothing relevant came to mind so he shook his head. So Y/N admitted it, straightforward. "He just told me."

His eyes grew narrow. "He told you," he said plainly, his voice dripping with doubt. "Just like that?"

All the possible answers he expected, and Y/N managed to say none of them and less. This whole time he thought Y/N knew about the crush because of him and her brother. Quite unreasonably, the older boys—who had discovered everything from a discussion between their moms—had teased Jobe about the crush when they were younger, and Jude assumed Y/N heard about it in passing.

Turns out that Jude couldn't have been farther from the truth. He had assumed everyone was involved in the network of information except for the person who was responsible for its creation.

"He just told me," Y/N, too, plainly said, her voice somehow expressing empathy for the confusing nature of the situation. She let her chest rise as she turned towards Jude, speaking to him directly. "He mentioned that even though that's how he felt, he knew that it wasn't about to be a forever thing. That's why he was so cool about it– so there was nothing for me to do than also be cool about it."

When Jobe discovered his crush on Y/N, he soon realised that it wouldn't last the way others assumed it would. That crush was a dream, an irrational mix of reality and fantasy and imagination—an accumulation of his favoured elements about his best friend. That's all it was and that's all it ever would be.

Truthfully, Jobe loved Y/N. He did, really, but that was it. He loved her but he knew he could love someone else more and in a different way, first witnessing such when Y/N had been with her first boyfriend. He loved her and she equally loved him too, and that was more than enough. They didn't need more of each other than what they had already established together.

Until they both found their other halves– something they wouldn't find in one another– they were each other's first-person for now, and Jobe was perfectly okay with that.

And as Jobe grew out of crushing on Y/N, he only gained more perspective. All thoughts about Y/N—these desires—never went beyond wanting a friendship with her. There was love but they weren't and never would be intimately bonded to one another. She wasn't his whole world. There was much more beyond his initial ideals about Y/N. He could live with her simply being his best friend for their lifetimes together.

"I'm just saying... you're always asking what makes me and Jobe's tight like that: we give each other permission to feel, both the positive and negative emotions. We give each other grace to be in tune with ourselves first, understanding our baseline feelings and thoughts. And when we can do those things alone and separately, it makes doing them together much easier, you know?"

Sighing, a semblance of a smile appeared upon her face as she turned away from Jude and towards the sea, appreciating its strong yet delicate movements all over and under itself. "Everything is just free to flow... kinda like the waves."

Jude couldn't find himself disagreeing with any of Y/N's words, and a lot of Y/N and Jobe's general interactions during this holiday proved them to be true.

They understood each other beyond spoken words. Their smiles and laughter were always real, wide and overtly alive. Their arguments, though sometimes heated, still held understanding and eventual compromise; there was never a day where they ended things on bad terms. They let their happiness be happiness and they let their sadness exist as sadness. They let their anger present itself as anger. Never to exploit or irritate others, but to let it diminish and falter into safer feelings.

And there was something to learn with that, something to take in and adopt for his own good. But Jude, of course, knew he couldn't just let Y/N gain a win over him like that. Disrupt the moment with a joke. He leaned his head back. "Or maybe it's because you guys are younger siblings."

Confusion briefly laced Y/N's facial expression, weakened with slight laughter. "What?"

"Just think about it," Jude started, "Jobe is my younger brother and you've been the youngest sibling for most of your life as of now and we all know how younger siblings are."

She shook her head and waved him off. She didn't appreciate the emphasis on younger siblings. "I fail to see the connection. If there even is one." Technically, Jude was right (unfortunately) but he was also wrong. In theory, sure, she could understand where his words fit. But in practice, they didn't hold much weight. 'Cause between the four eldest siblings between the two families—in terms of maturity, reliability and trustworthiness to watch over others—Y/N could confidently say that she felt like the eldest with the way she could manage them during their holidays.

"Okay," he said, though the sarcasm was evident in his voice.

"I'm not going to affirm or deny your argument. Besides, it already falls flat by the fact that I'm older." Only by a sole month but that wasn't the point.

There was more to say. Jude could have said more for his defence—there was more to say if he really wanted to. But for now, he let Y/N win. Instead, he let Y/N be happy, he let himself be happy as they shared all kinds of banter and laughter in the night sky.

This was what he wanted, what she initially wanted—what she initially had gone out seeking for and specifically with Jude. And this, supposedly by the power of the universe and stars, was what they were supposed to have and be all along—friends, two people indefinitely intertwined together.

It was quite lovely. It all felt lovely for Jude. To spend time alone with Y/N without her being on edge. To be the one responsible for her joys and her laughter. To share conversations that were outside of his usual scope. To have moments with Y/N that didn't involve their brothers. They were good together as friends. That wasn't to say they were any better than Jobe and Y/N or Jude and her brother. But they were indeed better and more defined than what they used to be and it was all for the better. Two individuals who could interact with one another beyond their familial ties.

And even though what they had wasn't what he wanted, for now, it was enough for Jude. Having Y/N in his good graces was more than enough.

Though he knew their current state wasn't enough for someone else. Jude let his head hang, already knowing the conversation would go south. "What you have with Jobe... is that what you want with me?"

Y/N paused in her movements, thoughts quickly getting in order. "What we have—or some of it at least—it's not unique to your brother," she explained. Though slightly exasperated, her voice remained soft and sweet with understanding. "I have that with everyone. So naturally yes."

"And do you feel like you have that with me?" He wondered.

Her eyes narrowed at his words. "I think you already know that answer, Jude," she said, pointedly. Her softness and sweetness still left room for frustration and annoyance to express themselves. "And before you ask me, I don't know why. I don't know."

Unfortunately, being on good terms didn't cancel out everything that once had them on bad terms. There was still something missing in their friendship that she didn't lack with others. She could have interesting and intrinsic conversations with the parents. She had a bond that was playful and maternal with her younger siblings. She and her brother always found it difficult to stray away from a discussion when it started. She had what she had with Jobe. Some relationships applied to her and the next person over, both in the same or opposite way.

Then there was Jude. Sure, they were close—they were closer than what they used to be—but the distance between them was evident and there, or at least in her eyes. Y/N wanted to be friends, she wanted the two to work out for the better. Y/N didn't want to be angry, sad or annoyed with Jude, she took no joy in any of it. But it was hard to be satisfied when she felt like she was the main one pouring into their friendship while Jude only offered enough to keep them alive while they could be. So much so that she sometimes questioned his intentions with wanting to be her friend.

Still, Y/N tried to remain positive as she turned the conversation positive. "But I understand that these things take time to happen. We share history, and that's not going to go away overnight and probably never will. But I don't think that should stop us from being friends. I want to be your friend. I know that well 'cause you always want to remind me that that's all I've wanted since we were kids."

Letting a low hum, a faint smirk pinched at his cheeks. "I gotta make sure you don't forget," he said.

"It's hard to forget," she said, smiling faintly as she glanced down at her hands. Then without much thought to the question—and the answer—she wondered, "Do you want to be friends with me, Jude?"

A mindless question only required a mindless answer. Yet Jude could only respond with, "Well, um— I mean." He could only stumble over his words; his nerves were acting up. He wanted to answer the question truthfully as Y/N wanted, but it was difficult when things weren't straightforward. Unfortunately, he couldn't just say yes in this case.

But of course, Y/N was unaware of this. In her eyes, his response was a rejection of her friendship. "Oh. Okay, wow." She chuckled, snatching her hand away from Jude. Her smiling exterior contrasted with the stinging burn she felt inward.

Jude tried to reach for Y/N only for her to fold her arms. His face fell, wincing in deep guilt. "Y/N." It wasn't his intention to upset her, but he recognised that he did so nonetheless.

"I-I just didn't think that would be such a difficult question to answer." She stared aimlessly towards the sea, biting down on her lip. She refused to meet his gaze; tears would be shed if she did. "That's all."

She wanted to cave in and hug herself to the point where she just fell into the earth, perhaps even disappear into infinite oblivion and never be found again. She felt embarrassed, beyond humiliated. For the past few weeks, Y/N had given Jude the benefit of the doubt. She had given them another chance, permission to pursue this friendship again. Not for the sake of just being friends but because he said that's what he wanted, and truthfully that's what Y/N wanted too—a mutual agreement.

Or at least that's what Y/N thought. For a want Jude had wanted since forever, the switch-up definitely took her off guard. And now her mind couldn't seem to cast out the doubts tumbling in. Questions about whether Jude actually wanted to be her friend all this time, whether he was just leading her on just to beat her down later on. Questions regarding his sincerity and concern for her. Questions over whether he was only putting up a front as her friend, perhaps he was only making her smile and laugh out of pity and obligation for his past actions.

All this time Y/N had this genuine want to be friends with Jude, something she had been building up to accommodate. So to see that suddenly not be reciprocated, after these last few months, she could only feel pure betrayal. All he had to say was one word. It would have validated her thoughts, calmed her doubts and put her mind at ease. A simple yes, but even that he failed to do—he outright refused.

But hey, it was not like that was anything new.

Maybe Y/N was reaching for something that just wasn't meant to be, even with the input of the universe. It wasn't hard to recall that Jude and Y/N didn't begin as friends, and for the longest time despite the many chances, they were never moved to become friends. Jude's unfavourable behaviour and attitude towards her used to be habitual—so normalised to the point where Y/N would remain unphased from time to time.

She had gotten so excited, so caught up about this idea of friendship—forming something good and special with Jude—that she failed to realise he could easily fall back into his previous ways just as quickly as he fell out of them. It slipped her mind that he didn't have to stay faithful to their mutual agreement.

So it was a real possibility– Jude didn't want to be friends with Y/N as much as she thought he did. And perhaps Y/N needed to accept it and let him go. Maybe that's why the two were together alone; perhaps Jude wanted to let her down softly in hopes that the blow would hurt less with the absence of others.

But even that didn't sound like enough to Y/N. He should have just rejected her at the party in front of everyone and the internet, to make her understand that she had to stop holding out hope for someone that didn't want her in the first place. That she was delusional for ever thinking that Jude wanted something meaningful with her in the first place.

This disaster, it was all on her.

"You don't understand. It's not like that," Jude pled. He knew reaching her was only going to get harder from here. It was never like that. It was never like that. Not even for a moment.

"Then tell me, Jude." She wore a facial expression that was tired and withdrawn. Tired of the humiliation and rejection she always had to face at the hands of Jude. Was she really that easy of a target? She exhaled as she closed her eyes. "Help me understand. I want to feel for you, but I can't if I don't understand. What about the thought of being friends with me is so hard for you to hear about? So much that you can't even answer my question."

It would be fitting to say that Y/N was fed up. She had spent many years being disappointed and annoyed by Jude, and by some point she had gotten used to it. But they made up and discovered new ground for them to settle on. She gave him another chance to do right by her. But of course, he couldn't resist doing her wrong all over again.

Did Jude do all of that just to bring her down, to make her deeply feel all that disappointment and annoyance again all at once? Was this just another cruel way for him to have another victory over her? Was she so terrible that she couldn't be desired as a friend by the very guy who was desired by everyone else?

"I know. It's just—" Jude released a slow breath. Because he knew that after this he wasn't about to get another chance to explain himself a third time. Y/N was tired and sad and feeling all kinds of ways towards him. He could no longer give half-truths like last time; only the simple truth would suffice. "Just know that I haven't lied, just left out a few things before," he assured, though he wasn't sure it was assuring.

Opening her eyes, Y/N let out a sigh. "What is it?"

Jude mumbled under his breath as he pinched his eyebrow. No half-truths, just the simple truth. "You know Jobe's crush on you?" Ironic. The very thing he had been laughing at only moments ago was the same thing bringing him rightful torment and embarrassment.

She quickly turned to Jude, her nose scrunched up. "What about it?" At first, she felt like the conversation was heading in the wrong direction. But Jude didn't correct himself or anything so she didn't say anything further.

"You know that he doesn't talk about you a lot to me, right?" Her face still remained confused but she nodded nonetheless. "Okay well when his crush on you was at his peak, he would talk a lot about you, like what he liked about you and all. He didn't say all that to me but to my mum, his friends, you know? But I would still be around sometimes hearing everything he was saying. And... I think me back then found his words so convincing that his crush on you kinda rubbed off on me."

Y/N initially heard the humour behind his words before her eyes widened; the realisation came in all at once that surrounding distractions became null. Along with Jobe at some point, Jude had had a crush on her.

"I never really acknowledged it so I didn't really try to concern myself with you." Jude tilted his head as he rubbed his jaw. He was struggling with his words; to be outwardly vulnerable took a lot of courage. "My... my crush for you was because of Jobe's crush on you so it would fade."

"I thought it would fade. Jobe's crush on you eventually faded but... I don't think mine ever did. I still didn't acknowledge it because we weren't on good terms for a long time nor we were even friends. I didn't think what I was feeling about you was, like, real. And then we made up, and I still felt the same as before." Sniffling, Jude turned to look at Y/N and captured her gaze. It was quite easy in fact. From his eyes to his all-around facial expression; it was nothing short of devastation and truth—it was all rather captivating. "I still do."

Y/N had to lean back in her place and ponder for a moment or more. What Jude was saying—there was a lot to take in and accept. There was far more than enough going on, in her mind, in her heart. Feeling more emotions than she was used to carrying. All in one night she and Jude went from being simply friends to almost reverting to their previous relations to then finally discovering that, actually, Jude had liked her all this time. And that slightly scared her because unlike before, she wholeheartedly believed every word he spoke.

"The reason I didn't say anything to being friends with you isn't 'cause I don't want to be friends. I'm not cruel like that you know," he chuckled, bitterly. He disliked how despite everything he felt for her, he managed to make her feel like he felt the opposite. One couldn't be further from the truth. "Obviously, I want to be friends, Y/N. It's just hard answering the question knowing that I want more than that. That's all."

She blinked a few times before responding, "Why didn't you tell me before?" Believing Jude didn't cancel out the remaining gaps in the story. If Jude had felt for her all this time– just over five years– why was he only telling her now?

"Because," Jude strung out a breath, slightly deflating a bit. He began to toy with his fingers. "After everything that's happened between us, I didn't think it was fair for me to feel that way towards you."

He had tried to play it off with denial for a while but the truth always persevered above others—Jude had feelings for Y/N. There was uncertainty as to what was what but he could definitively say that he liked her, and he was in way too deep to return them. But he also knew well that everything he felt for Y/N was disproportionate to what he should feel for her, what he deserved to feel for her.

He always assumed that's why Jobe never made the effort to make them friends, why Jobe made it his mission to remind Jude who Y/N ended up being friends with despite her initial intentions. Truthfully, he was undeserving of her feelings, of her time, of her energy. He was undeserving of her altogether.

Yet weirdly, Y/N never acted like that was the case. And if she believed it then she never displayed that through her words or actions. Since they made up, she showed him nothing but grace and understanding. Treated him like she treated her siblings and Jobe, and that only made Jude feel immense guilt. While he was struggling to give her his slightest parts, she managed to always give him her all.

It made him wonder sometimes why she was so willing to be his friend. Yes, she forgave him and yes, they reconciled and started over again. Still, doubts wandered about in Jude's mind more than they drifted into nothing. He was delusional—to think that they could exist as something beyond friends, to think his friendship with her could even slightly match what she shared with Jobe. While Jobe had been poetic and compared Y/N to the sky and the oceans, Jude had only brought Y/N plain misery in the past.

Yeah, he didn't stand a chance.

Besides, it was very likely everything he felt for her was narrow and simply one-sided. After everything that has happened between the two, after all the distress Jude had once brought into her life, why would she feel anything for him?

Jude cleared his throat. "But yeah, that's what I wanted to tell you." He said everything that needed to be said. He spoke the truth and withheld no further truths. Still, he didn't know if he felt any better or relieved after doing so. Whether it was worth it or not would be up to Y/N's verdict. "I'm sorry if I just piled everything on you like that."

She shook her hand as she waved him off. "I asked so... you shouldn't feel like that," Y/N said, the sound of her words slowly faltering. There wasn't much to say.

Evidently, there was a reluctance for the two to continue the conversation, to define what they now were and what they would be after tonight. A lot was said and a lot needed to be taken in. The want to abandon the discussion was there and to even sit in silence was favourable at this point. But they were mature, young adults; they would see it through until the end. At least they had the comfort of the sky and the ocean; even with the uncertainty of Jude and Y/N to stretch beyond the following day, the two bodies would exist in the morning and forever after that.

Suddenly, Jude huffed out a small laugh. "Jobe does say that kindness is your best and worst quality," he pointed out as a sad smile pulled at his lips.

Her brows drifted up, her head tilting slightly. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean look at us now." Jude gestured between the two, and he was right. They were friends—or had only been able to be friends—because she had been kind enough to extend some grace to him a few months ago. It was all her while he created problem after problem for the pair.

"Take away the last five minutes. We are where we are because I allowed it. I forgave you—"

"And you were understandably ready to take that back."

"Yes, I know. I know," she spoke with a calm tone. She needed Jude to understand that she didn't want to be argumentative, she didn't want to fall into another argument. They needed to finish the conversation for both of their sakes. "But now I understand things better now. About you, about me."

He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. "Yeah? Like what?" His voice carried a sense of resignation as if he had already accepted his fate. It's okay. Just say it. I don't want to be friends anymore, Jude.

"Jude." Suddenly, there was a change in how she spoke. Her voice, her tone—it was small yet measured and smooth and effortlessly persuasive. So much so that Y/N was able to pull Jude away from his conflicting thoughts. She caught his gaze with hers and rewarded him with a gentle smile. "I might like you as much as you like me."

He claimed that he had a crush on her though Y/N didn't think that was the correct label. Who did once have a crush on her was Jobe. Things were easy and casual and normal after he told her. They were still able to be friends effortlessly almost like he had never told her in the first. Y/N was for the most part, unaffected.

But it was different with Jude. There was something there for sure. She could feel the words he spoke. She wanted him to resume talking whenever he stopped. Even when he committed wrong, she found herself gravitating towards him. Jude and Jobe shared the same eyes yet she only found Jude's to be enchanting. Her gaze for him reflected considerable admiration and longing. For a person she couldn't stand for the longest time, she couldn't bring herself to look away.

And everything she had internalised about him, Jude almost felt the exact same. There was nothing easy or casual or normal about the two.

Jude paused in his movements as his mouth fell open. "Oh?" His voice grew a few octaves.

Despite feeling her cheeks grow warm, she continued to hold his gaze which wasn't hard considering Jude refused to look away too, and nodded slowly. "Yeah..."

Everything, from the beginning of the discussion to now, it was all overwhelming 'cause for once, they could finally say I understand.

They used to be two individuals who were thought to be incompatible and barred from ever experiencing one another. Their problems were endless yet weirdly similar every time. The first time they couldn't bear to be friends only to discover that was the fault of misguided feelings. The second time they questioned their friendship only to discover that was at the fault of their own buried and undisclosed feelings—feelings Jude once thought to be one-sided, feelings Y/N didn't notice up until recent moments.

Jude and Y/N thought that they would stop there, at friends. But now feelings, intentional yet confusing, were involved and from both sides.

And that kinda left the two in an awkward position. They didn't exactly know where to go from where they were, the grey area between friends and lovers(?). Was it best to pull away and take things slowly, or close the gap and rush to experience all the things they had missed out on by their own faults? An awkward position indeed.

But it was a good, awkward position. It would let the pair start fresh, reimagine their dynamics and bring to reality what they should have been from the beginning. They were walking on fairly new territory but that was something they would soon learn to navigate with ease. 'Cause now there was a sense of relief to everything that was about Jude and Y/N. For the longest time, they were plagued by secrets upon secrets that crafted nothing but distrust, hostility, anger, annoyance and probably more.

Now, they could rid themselves of everything harmful and damaging. That anger, that hostility, that annoyance– could perhaps be laid to rest to make way for all things infant and shy yet genuine between them. That desire, that tenderness, that love and all coming from both directions. It was thrilling and fascinating to observe and something new.

Her gaze shifted down towards her hands, clasping them together. "That doesn't take away from the fact that you've fucked me over. So much that you managed to fuck yourself over." While harsh she knew that she had to point out Jude's previous wrongs, especially knowing how he was one to get in over his head over the smallest things. She had to let him know that whatever they ended up being after tonight, it was because she chose to let them happen. She had control over how they would end or continue as a pair.

Jude nodded in agreement. "I know." A drop in his tone, yet one could hear the hint of happiness in his voice. He didn't want to misplace his emotions in the conversation, he really didn't. Though it was hard not to now after discovering his once unreciprocated feelings were actually reciprocated from the very person he had unknowingly been crushing on since forever. Maybe he wasn't so delusional for holding on to hope.

"But," she breathed in a good lungful as a smile budded upon her lips. Witnessing Jude's unserious demeanour was making it hard to maintain her own. "I also think you're wonderful."

"Wonderful?"

"I remember my mum describing you as wonderful once," she explained briefly. "Jude, he's wonderful, she said or whatever. But because we never got along before I always thought being wonderful was something negative rather than it being positive. And even after that, I still found you wonderful. Maybe not towards me but still wonderful. Wonderful but in the way my mum intended for me to understand which makes sense; my mum is never wrong."

"Your mum is never wrong," Jude repeated with a laugh.

"Can I be real with you for a second?" When he nodded it was then when Y/N decided to drop her guard, and she didn't plan to pull it back up in front of Jude again. She took hold of his hand and let their fingers intertwine. "I want wonderful, Jude. I want us to have wonderful. I know you have done some questionable things—I have too—but that doesn't stop us from deserving it. We deserve this for us."

She was right. Jude and Y/N have spent so much energy and time on one another only to share many poor experiences. They have spent so much time hating just to hate, despising each other for reasons beyond knowledge. They have spent so much time, so many years exchanging harsh and miserable feelings. Over misunderstandings, over uninformed decisions as kids. So much negative when it should have been all positive and happy and gleeful. It cost them the love and affection they were supposed to experience in the first place.

And that's why they deserved to like each other without shame or guilt, to be young and in love without the judgement of others. Jude deserved to like Y/N without a reminder of his past actions; she forgave him after all. Y/N deserved to like Jude—to experience wonderful—despite his past actions. They deserved to experience love for what it was, and specifically with each other.

This was the final plea. She was tired of getting only half of Jude all the time, tired of seeing strangers receive more of Jude than she ever did. For once in her life, she wanted to be selfish and have him whole.

Jude glanced at their interlocked hands, feeling his lips curve upward as he let their hands sway a bit. Testing out the waters. And he couldn't lie, he enjoyed the moment more than he could have ever imagined. "I do too. Probably why we never worked as friends." He returned his gaze to Y/N and beamed even more when he realised they were carrying the same expression; glances of guiltless delight. "Wonderful sounds great."

The universe and the stars were wrong to initially assign Y/N and Jude as friends. A straight misdirection of fate. Because even if that intention had been a reality for a little longer, no matter how hard the pair tried, the feelings would've surfaced eventually. And now they were here, fully disclosed and expressed from both sides. All because Y/N and Jude extended grace and gave themselves—and each other—permission to feel for one another truthfully.

So when they were over the silence gazing, they fell into a kiss that was softly endearing and delicate. For the lost time they would never be able to retrieve. For the feelings that were forever lost in time. For the time they weren't able to acknowledge their feelings for what they were. For the fact that they weren't able to fall in love traditionally. For all the love and fondness that was shadowed by misunderstandings over the years.

This moment– this was exclusively theirs to treasure.

Pulling apart they still craved one another, reasonably; their lips just barely touching to breathe each other in, one nose leaning on another for that extra contact, eyes closed so their remaining senses could focus on the person they had been deprived of for what felt like a lifetime.

What brought Jude to pull away further was the distant sound of the sea and the sight of the moon from the corner of his eye. He let out a lighthearted chuckle. If that was the case then his attention never really shifted away from Y/N. "Don't tell my brother."

"Only if you don't tell mine."

[taylortruther]

really appreciate your constant gentle reminders that celebrities are not who we should be seeking political info from. I try to include it in my tags. it sends me into despair when even blogs I adore and respect believe that celebrities must clarify their position on elections

yeah like... i got heat for saying i don't think taylor had sophisticated political beliefs based on what she has said/done, but i feel the same about chappell, i feel the same about pretty much all of them. to different degrees, because i can appreciate that taylor is very articulate and considers her words carefully.

but overall, celebrities are not only bad sources of information for politics (because they are not politicians or politicos and are often uninformed), but looking to them for political guidance is just perpetuating the way capitalism commodifies political philosophies/movements to defang them.

and of course i understand wanting celebrities to speak up. they have so much influence, it's the least they could do. but damn some of them are just the last people i want to hear from.

[smoothriverrocksrock]

GOD I WOULD KILL FOR TF1 DECEPTICON BEE!! The thought of him not wanting to leave Megatron alone after something so horrific warms my heart. I need a fic of them becoming friends. (do you have any more headcanons?)

I really hope to get to writing a fic for this, and I’ll definitely link it if I do! Kinda busy with other fics tho and since one is close to finishing I wanna start it after I’m done with that one

Well first and most obvious headcanon is that Bee has to have some MAJOR respect for D-16/Megatron purely because of that scene with him standing up to Sentinel. Genuinely, seeing Bee watch that had me in the theaters wondering why tf Bee would be horrified by D-16 killing him. B-127 is a better person than me because of I saw one of my friends get CARVED INTO it would be my last straw

My main idea for a Decepticon tf1 Bee story kinda looks like this (warning this gets LONG):

-He sees Megatron and the High Guard leaving, and he can’t believe it. He just got a friend group, he can’t just let it split apart! Especially not like this!

-With a quick number exchange, Bee tells Elita that he’s going with Megatron and it’s nothing personal he just wants to stay with him ok byeeeee

-Elita is kinda baffled, and Optimus absolutely takes it personally but in a sad “wait what if I’m in the wrong, oh no, now I lost two friends” way. Optimus wants to go after him and Megatron but Elita stops him. They both agree it’s probably best to give them all space and let Bee try and figure it out

-Megatron is also baffled that this guy is coming with him, but he feels relieved that at least *someone* familiar agrees with him. He won’t admit it tho, it’s a cold comfort after everything else that’s happened

-The High guard doesn’t really care rn, they just got banished (AGAIN!) and a friend of their new leader is probably good enough to keep around

-I imagine some of them are probably injured (most importantly Megatron), so Soundwave helps them highjack a train where they can take temporary shelter, get supplies/food, and rest. Starscream finds out the base got blown up and appropriately grieves about the loss of his awesome throne. Shockwave is revealed to be the best thing they have to a doctor. Rough times.

-Bee keeps trying to get Megatron to talk about what just happened, but he refuses. Bee eventually talks about how horrible sublevel 50 was because of the isolation, and promises Megatron that he won’t leave him alone

-Still cold comfort to Megatron. He just lost his longest companion, and he knows Bee could never compare. Bee also realizes this, but he’s trying his best

Lotta places the story could go from there, but I wanna keep it as a “Bumblebee inadvertently becomes the moral backbone of the Decepticons” type of story. I also wanna clarify that Bee is still totally down for murder, he just convinces Megatron to keep the guns pointed at the Quintessons for now

He also shares soooo much Decepticon gossip to Optimus and Elita, but never anything that could ever compromise the Decepticons. He’ll be like “You’ll NEVER guess what Skywarp just said today” and Elita will ask for boring stuff like “where are you based” and “are you eating enough” and Bumblebee refuses to have his friendships compromised by politics. Optimus appreciates this, and does the same. Eventually Elita will conform and send him memes

Also Soundwave and Bee become scout friends. This is the law. Bee is one of the only people who will contribute to the community playlist

[blueberrylovv]

also hugs and kisses and all the best things to all the people who are looking out for me and sending me kind messages and letting me know if someone is being sh1tty about/to me i really appreciate you and knowing that you are willing to take the time to message me to tell me about these things happening when i cant see them makes me feel very happy and very loved and very taken care of, thank you so so so much <3

[lulushults]

i didnt know where else to post this so ill send it to my non-existent tumblr page ✨

i think alot of people in the nalu fandom are probably expecting a big love confession and kiss✨ from nalu when they finally confess their feelings…i just dont see this happening, or fitting either of their characters.

dont get me wrong i’d die for a nalu kiss but to think about either of them going out of their way to kiss the other, idk to me it doesnt fit their characters. natsu seems the most likely out of the two to initiate the kiss, but what would randomly lead natsu to kiss her?

i also dont think their love confession will come from one of them randomly deciding to confess their feelings, in my mind the best way for them to finally become something more than friends is through a gigantic push from an outside force.

let me explain, in the final chapter natsu tells lucy ‘we’ll be together forever’. the way i see it natsu doesnt FEEL the need to confess because, as he already belives, theyre both going to be together forever anyway so…whats the point?

i think natsu saying this will come back to bite him at some point, possibly during his final fight with ignia. i think the best way for them both to realise how much they truly love and appreciate eachother is by one or both of them being placed in a life of death situation, and i dont mean the typical fairy tail life or death situations, i mean never coming back.

if natsu were too see lucy in a true life or death situation, i believe it would cause some sort of awakening within natsu where he realises, maybe, they wont be together forever. this could cause natsu,(or lucy in a vise versa situation), to realise they truly do not see a life without the other in it, then leading to one, or both, of them outright confessing said fact during the fight, pushing their true power to save the other.

i really think the best way for hiro to begin the romantic change in nalu’s relationship is to introduce a situation like this, to cause a chain reaction in them both, leading to them realising and admitting their true feelings.

BUT, i’ll be happy with whatever. nalu are my absolute baby’s and i will be over the moon no matter how they eventually come together, to me this just makes the most sense :)💞

[audioroleplayconfessions]

soo i thought about sending escaped this directly w no anon, almost did,but i chickened out the moment his profile faced me

in short,i just wanna him to know how great of a writer he really is

I've been into audio rp for years now (6 to be exact) artists came and went,some are still here,but since i watched him ,there was no space to question who's the most talented of them

for all the years,no artist actually truly affected me like that,i never meant it when i posted "crying" in any other fandom,like maybe i teared up

but escaped.. he never gave me the chance to lie about it

if i said i cried i did,if you checked my pillow it would be wet

if i Said I'm bout to throw up (this is just my body's reaction to extreme emotions not a bad thing) i did have a knot in the bottom of my throat

if i said sobbing i was hunched over shaking

i never said it when it never happened ,all if those happened

no writer had a character stuck in my head without a day passing with me not thinking about them for 3 months straight like he did with raven

no writer had me listening to songs crying and sobbing like a widower who lost her husband at war thinking about like he did with crow

no writer gave me a mirror with a happier ending to my story like he did with ash and thadd

no writer made me swoon as much as he did with Fletcher

no writer made me as excited to being the listener like he did with slasher

no writer left me satisfied like he did with Benji

and there's more where those came from

i just wanted him to know that from my overusing of the term dandy boy to the sobbing i go through almost everyday ,i wouldn't change a a thing

my biggest lucky hit is blue infinity popping in my FYP and my biggest mistake is it not appearing sooner

he had me in ways i never thought would be in

i never believed when people said that so and so artist changed their lives,but i think i found mine

(not to mention the standards he sets from his posts about his girlfriend)

you changed my life, escaped audios.

i wanted to actually say this instead of silently appreciating because i want him to know that whenever he thinks he had no impact on anyone,that he'd remember me,a random anon tearing up as she writes this

that when he thinks he did nothing on this earth, he'd remember that there's someone who thinks of this works daily and gets emotional over them

when he thinks that no would support him that he'd have somebody always waiting for the next audio to appear

soo yeah, you are my favorite writer, escaped. thought you should know?

.

[jaythes1mp]

Whenever you get the time could you please answer these scenarios, these are all separate and I just wanted to do them in one mini ask post.

How would the bat family react to pyramid head, silent hill nurse, and/or reaper nurse reader? These are all separate, if you like we could collaborate on some so you won’t type all of this if you do want to do any of the following ideas. Good night/day/afternoon, sorry if I was bugging you, have a good one.

Alright, a few things to discuss.

One, I had NO CLUE that “submissions” were a thing and nearly had an attack thinking that tumblr had updated their asks so that they weren’t boxes anymore, lmfao

Two, I’m actually really sorry to tell you this, pookie, but I’ve got no clue who these guys are. I’d a hundred percent do your ask if I knew though, since it’s a different concept from the animal readers that we’re all pleasantly familiar with.

However, if you had any other ideas that I’m a little more familiar with, then I’d totally be down for a collab. I love writing with other people and seeing their perspectives on things. Plus we can improve on each other. I’d really be down to collaborating with anyone if we both agreed upon an idea.

And lastly, if I see anyone else in my inbox saying that they’re “bothering me” for sending in an ask then you all honestly deserve crumbs in your bed. You’re never bothering me for asking or talking to me about something. I appreciate all of you, even if I don’t end up seeing or answering you straight away.

Thank you for your ask, I’m really sorry that I wasn’t able to do this for you💚💚

Masterlist

[tremendouscreationperson]

Logan x Reader pt.16

They say you write what you know so Y/N is having a lil bit of a tough time

There be a little bit of a time jump - nothing major but I haven't written for a week and a bit so it felt necessary

It may not be massively long but don't worry, Victor is in this one, how we feeling about his characteristics? I want him to be the same but different because this world doesn't hate mutants but I don't know if I'm just butchering the character

<<Part 15 Masterlist

“So I'm conclusion, Dave, I'm still not having a great time. I'm being supportive of Gambit and Laura because they want to go to the X-Mansion and it kills me that she stays the night. Yeah, she texts me, lets me know how things are and sends me photos but she is making connections with people that I knew! She is becoming a member of the family. I returned home and it wasn't home. She returned there and it is. And I know that's selfish and stupid and I sound horrid but I am jealous. Jealous of my own daughter, fucking hell. I'm embarrassed about that too! Having to hide it from the others. Wade's off with the Avengers badgering Thor, Elektra has Maria and Natalie - oh no, sorry Natasha, they sent an agent to spy on us, I bet you're one, and the agent became friends, it's.... Anyway. Blade gets up to god knows what. And I'm lying to Logan. He asks for updates and I say I'm fine and I am really, I dunno why I'm moaning. I dunno why I'm making a huge deal out of this. But I'm sad. There's not really a logical reason for me to be sad but I am. And I tell him I’ve gone for a jog or I began a new book when in reality I barely get out of bed to feed the pigeons on my fire escape.” You held your arms, hugging yourself. “I dunno, and I know you're going to say communication is key, talk to everyone, but I don't want them to know I'm sad because I'm always sad. I don't want to be sad any more. I'm bored of it. I'm always the one that's struggling or that needs support and they always provide it but it gets tiring after a while, repeating the same task over and over again."

Dave's eyes pierced yours. He stared directly through them and at your brain, trying to dissect your thoughts straight from the source.

He observed your body language, how frustrated you were at yourself, how tired your bones were.

“First of all: communication is key.” You groaned. “Second of all: there are valid reasons for your lapse. You entered a place where you had made a home, you visited members of your family and they did not recognise or acknowledge who they were to you because they do not know. They are unaware of your pain, unaware that you share this bond. It is natural to feel displaced, especially with the bombardment of memories that you experienced, to be there in the past vs the future is striking, is jarring. And to top that off some of your closest frie-family have decided to make themselves at home there. Yes, you are jealous but you are hurt. Hurt that they would dare to go where you cannot. And I haven't even brought up your parents, yet.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Go ahead, why not?”

“Seeing your mother and father brings up your childhood trauma as well as feelings of neglect because she is doing well. She expressed pride when talking about mutants where your mother was scared. Was ashamed.”

You nod again, a lump in your throat preventing you from talking.

“And no it is not healthy to be lying to your partner. I'm sure he would not appreciate it and frankly I don't think he deserves to be lied to.

Fuck you.

“I guess it's just easier because it's texting.” You shrugged. “I couldn't lie to his face, not convincingly anyway. But he's found Victor and they seem to be getting along. I don't know why it was so important to find him. I don't think there was an actual reason to do so, I think it was the same reason I looked up my mom. I think he just needed to see his brother. Which I am not diminishing I just- I know it's important but I don't know why.. so I guess I'm confused about that, too?”

“You are feeling a lot of emotions.” He commented.

“Yeah,” your voice was an octave higher as you agreed. “I haven't felt like this in a long while.”

Dave's lip pulled in a half hearted smile and he began scratching down some notes. “Are you taking your meds?”

“I have been yes.” At your last session Dave had given you a prescription for some antidepressants. Well, no they were more like antianxieties but that didn't really roll off the tongue as well. You had seen Dave twice before this and, as everyone says, each time did get easier. He was still as curt as ever but you grew to appreciate that. No use in a therapist that coddled you.

“We may need to up them if you still feel like this in two months.”

“Two months?!”

“Medication takes its time to get into your system. The only pills that work instantaneously are placebos.”

Fair play.

“How's your sleep pattern?”

“Oh, did I tell you I found a coping mechanism?” He waved his hand for you to proceed. “At night when the nightmares come I do this-” you wrapped a field around yourself but this one was different. This field was stronger, was lighter, was flexible. Moulded to your very being. You had never been able to form anything like this before but one night in sheer terror you accidentally created it. It felt warm. Like a security blanket. “- and I don't feel as bad.”

“That's very good.” He smiled, his eyes scanning your body. “Is that new? The invisibility?”

“The what?” The field immediately fell.

“You were invisible.”

“I beg your finest pardon.”

“Y/N. You were invisible.” You weren't. You could see yourself when the field wrapped around your limbs, it was just the familiar purple hue around your body. “Did you not know?”

“I haven't been able to do that.” It sounded like a question. “I can see myself!"

"I couldn't."

"I have a new power? So I can heal and I can turn invisible? Wh-what else did Stark do to me?!”

“I'm sure Tony Stark didn't mean for this particular side effec-”

“Well, what side effects did he mean for?”

Dave didn't answer you, he let out a sigh and scribbled down on his paper.

~~

Walking home was fine. You stopped off to grab some seeds - the pigeons liked peanuts the best but they ate anything so you might be wrong - and ended up back at your apartment block in no time.

In the elevator your thoughts were wild, bouncing off the box walls.

So invisibility was a thing.

You could be invisible.

That wasn't bad.

Okay it was odd.

Really weird.

When you got back you'd have to take a video to send to Logan.

But why could you see yourself?

You'd have to test it in front of a mirror.

The doors pulled open and you waddled down to your front door in no time, key in hand.

Unlocking the door, you pushed it and paused at the man standing inside. He was in your front room behind the sofa (more towards your kitchen) scanning the place.

Even from his side profile you knew it was Victor.

His head swivelled towards you and he gave you a smile, canines on full display.

“Victor.” Your eyes left him for barely a moment, frantically darting around to see where Logan was, before landing back on him.

Victor eyed you up and down. “You must be Y/N.” He had such an intimidating aura, it was unnatural.

“Where's Logan?”

“Preoccupied.”

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

You didn't want to think the worst, however that's all your brain could do at the moment. Still though, you kept your chin up, not giving him the satisfaction of looking away again. Victor's hair was longer - facial hair included, he had a beard rather than the stubble you were used to - which made it look lighter. It was still brown and wasn't quite touching his shoulders but the soft locks made him look vastly different. He still had the edge to him but this made him… he seemed wilder? His clothes were plain: a black tee with tan pants and combat boots but he had paired them with a long tan fur trimmed coat.

“Why are you here?”

“Why not?” He smirked, nose twitching. “I see why he chose you.”

You didn't know what to do. Why was he being so unsettling?

The door to your room opened and Logan came out, despite his face being covered by a beard you could see it lit up when he saw you.

“Y/N, hey!” He grinned, making a beeline straight to you. “You've met Victor?”

Logan's arm wrapped itself around your waist as he glanced at his brother. “He's being fucking weird but yeah, we've met.”

“Vic, c’mon don't be an ass to my girl.”

Victor gave a shrug, stepping backwards and running his nails against your counter top. “Can’t help it. She's divine, a nice little catch.”

“Victor, I won't ask twice. Not in her home.”

The man in question rolled his eyes but put his hands up in surrender.

~~

“So he's staying for how long?” You questioned sitting on the lip of the bath whilst Logan carefully shaved his face.

“I don't know.” His eyes met yours in the mirror. “When I found him we got talking, I explained the situation and I wanted to ask him about our father, I- I just wanted to talk to him. When the illuminati assessed me they asked about relatives and despite it all I said Victor’s name. Got them to update me if they found him because I knew if he didn't want to be found he wouldn't be. That's why I had to leave, if I hadn't and he vanished again I'd have missed the chance.”

“So… how long's he staying?” You repeated with a playful smirk.

Logan rolled his eyes. “I know he can be a bit intimidating but if he's anything like my Victor it's all an act.”

“I've just never managed to get along with a Victor Creed.”

“He didn't have anywhere to go, was roaming about in the snow.” Logan let out a soft sigh. “We have these spare apartments here and… he's my brother.” You could see the conflict behind the decision. See how Logan was unsure of himself. “Wanted him to meet you. To meet Laura, too.”

Your heart lurched at the low confessions. He was such a girl dad you loved it. “She's been at the mansion a lot. I can call her, tell her to come back tomorrow or the next day, we could go out for a meal or a museum or bowling?”

Would bowling work with his nails?

Logan tried not to smile but it didn't work. “I'd like that.”

Your eyes left his, flittering down to your knees. You couldn't begrudge his decision, he wanted his brother to meet his partner and child. It was a decision made out of love as that just made your heart swell.

“How did you find the mansion?” Logan finished with his face, turning to lean against the sinks countertop. “I know we've spoken about it on text but it's not the same as talking.”

“Uh, yeah, the mansion was alright.” You clasped your hands. “The same as it ever was.”

Logan was waiting for more. “That's it?”

“Yeah. Not much more to say.” You shrug one shoulder.

He frowned. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” You told him honestly because technically nothing did happen at the mansion when you went. You were just preoccupied with memories and then left to see your parents but that was off Charles' property. “Just was a bit meh.”

Logan still waited for any elaboration. He wasn't a fool, he'd noticed the sag in your shoulders and the bags under your eyes. Your hair needed some love and your skin a shade paler. The telltale signs of ‘Y/N having nightmares’, he had seen them back in his universe and been able to soothe you so why would this be any different?

“Please talk to me.”

You opened your mouth, wanting to talk to him. Wanting to divulge what had happened these past few weeks but you didn't. You couldn't. “I will but not yet.” You outstretched your hand and he immediately accepted it. “I promise I'm okay and I will tell you.”

Logan hated that. Hated that you couldn't tell him this. Weren't you marri- no, you weren't. Why weren't you? You were married but he wasn't but you were married to him. But not to him.

He should remedy that.

“I must confess though,” your sweet voice cemented it. He had to. “I liked the beard.”

Logan's eyes crinkled and he held your cheek in one palm. “Thank you.”

"It grew so quickly."

"My hair does."

Your eyes shone under the fluorescent tube. “But this is you. This is Logan."

Logan considered his appearance - his ‘kitten ears’ and mutton chops - and wondered if he was born in this time would he look different? Most people eyed him with caution but not you. You gazed lovingly at him. “I've looked like this for about 200 years, no use in changing it now.”

You kissed his palm.

~~

Victor had also shaved his facial hair when you reconnected. He wore the same oversized sideburns as Logan and fuck me they looked similar.

You gave him an awkward smile from the kitchen as Logan set the table. The two of you had decided on enchiladas for dinner and had obviously invited Victor.

Logan had offered up Laura's original apartment to his brother seeing as she fully moved into yours when you fully moved into his.

Your phone buzzed on the countertop, Elektra's name lighting the screen.

Elektra: Who's the man Logan let into the 16? X

Y/N: His brother x

Y/N: Long story, I will inform you when I have all the details x

Elektra: he's cute x

Y/N: if you want to keep thinking like that don't talk to him x

Elektra: LOL

You placed your phone into your pocket and, bent to pull the food out of the oven, calling ‘dinners ready’ over your shoulder.

Logan gestured for Victor to sit at the table, unlike the other apartments this one was circular so there was no faffing about with who's sitting where.

Victor sat, giving you a wary glance as the food was placed in the centre. “Careful it's hot.”

He chuckled. “You don't have to worry about me.”

“Sorry.” Of course you didn't. “Force of habit.”

Logan ran a hand up your arm. “Don't worry, it's sweet.” And then sat in-between the two of you.

“Oh!” You remembered drinks. “You guys want a beer?”

The two nodded and said ‘thanks’ at the same time before eyeing each other.

This was so strange. You darted off to the fridge grabbing two beers and a can of 7up for yourself. Beer tasted too much like alcohol for your liking and you were afraid to have any flavoured gin or rum in case the sour mood you'd been living in for the past week made itself known.

Logan dished up an enchilada for Victor, then himself and just as you were sitting he placed one on your plate.

“Right, Victor, I hope you like it.” You wanted him before he took a bite. “I had to look in the fridge and just make it work.”

“I've lived through wars, I'm sure this is acceptable.” He gave you a wink except this time you didn't feel revulsion. He was making a joke and you imagined many missed them due to how dry his wit was.

“It'll be the best thing you've ever had.” Logan boasted. “Y/N pretends she isn't but she's the best chef I know.”

You roll your eyes. “It isn't hard to put some ingredients together. I'm not amazing but living in the Mansion made me cook.”

Victor took a bite and scanned you. “You lived in the X-Mansion?”

You nodded, mouth full of food. “Mhmm.”

“In your universe?”

Raising a hand in a ‘one sec' sign, you chewed faster. “Yes, I've actually met another version of you. Your hair is longer.”

“The version Logan met?”

Logan shook his head. “Nah, we're not from the same universe. In mine his hair is longer, eyebrows too.”

Victor's eyes squint as he gives the two of you a look of disbelief. “You are aware this sounds like a crock of shit.”

“You're a mutant living in a world where there's super soldiers and planetary travel but alternate universes are where you draw the line?”

Logan sniggered at your response, looking over to Victor. “In both our worlds being a mutant wasn't a good thing. I ain't saying this world is perfect. There's still racism and homophobia and all other sorts of hate but in ours we were the most targeted group.”

“People sold mutants in the streets in mine.” You shoved the memory out of your mind. “There was this country Magneto had - a safe haven - but even that wasn't completely safe from the humans.”

Victor considered the words, silently chewing his food. “What did we do about it then?”

Logan puffed air out of his mouth. “You and I fought in wars mostly, we, uh, we differed. You liked the fight too much. We met again later and were on opposite sides.”

He frowned. “So you were with the humans?”

“No. But I didn't want to kill them all or enslave them. You were part of a group that wanted that. Don't get me wrong, you were your own man but you did work with them.”

“I fought you.” You chimed in. “It wasn't easy. You're fucking strong.”

Victor smirked. “What is your ability?”

“Force fields.”

Logan scoffed. “It's more than that. She can bend them to her will, create shapes, fight with them.”

“Oh, yes and Lo' I've just discovered that I can do this.” You recalled, forming the newer field around yourself. “Apparently you can't see me but I can see me.”

Logan's eyes were massive, his fork landing on the plate below. “Y/N? W-thats a new power!”

You released yourself. “Yes, I was having a horsey dream-” translation: nightmare “-and I did this then I spoke about it at therapy because it feels different - it's like a warm blanket around my body - and Dave told me I was invisible.”

“That's- that's incredible.” Logan's grin was so wide you were worried it would hurt. His hand squeezed yours tightly.

“I bet it has something to do with Stark altering me. So, Tony Stark changed my DNA because I got stabbed a little bit and he was upset that Logan called him in the early hours.”

“A little bit stabbed?” Logan sassed.

“Laura didn't mean it.”

Victor just watched you both, appreciating the background knowledge but still fairly clueless.

“Victor, Laura is our daughter. She's from another universe. One where they cloned Logan. She has claws too.” You supplied, addressing Logan. “She did actually respond, Lo', should be here tomorrow in the afternoon.”

He wiped his mouth with a thumb. “That's good, been a while since I've seen the kid.”

After that there was a natural lull in the conversation, the only sound being cutlery and mouth sounds until you asked, “What about you Victor? Tell us about your life.”

The man's eyes enlarged and he scratched his chin.

“Uh, my father - Thomas - was a groundskeeper in the Northwest, he had an affair with his employer so life was good until it wasn't. And that was at the same time that my mutation began to reveal itself too so shit hit the fan for us. We survived, I lived a lot longer than him. I fought in the Civil war, World War I and II, Nam. Uhm, like in your experience, I was not well received back in the Northwest due to my mutation, so it's good to see the changes in how humans treat mutants.”

“Have you got any family? Friends?” You pushed.

“I keep in contact with some of the War buddies - Steve, James, Isaiah, Grimm, Rex and Frank but I’ve never felt the need to settle. Outlive them anyway.” The last sentence was said with such a final tone that you didn't want to pry any more.

After the meal had been eaten, you spent longer at the table merely chatting about anything and nothing. Victor told you as he rose with his plate that the meal was “tolerable” with another pointed wink.

~~

Logan's eyes hadn't left you since you began your nightly routine. He watched you from the lip of the bath, mirroring your own actions hours ago.

"I barely survived out there." He told you as you cleaned your face.

"No?" You quirked a brow.

"You were all I could think about." He confessed without a hint of embarrassment. "I hated being apart. I don't want to be apart again."

Your cheeks warmed. "We don't have to be."

"I know." He hopped up and wrapped you into a hug, watching you in the mirror. "You're beautiful."

"What do you want?" You chuckled, suspicions growing.

Logan kissed your shoulder. "You, always."

You watched, more than felt, as his right hand slowly made its way downwards.

It took little to no effort in slipping under the sleep shorts and caressing your pussy. Your breath stuttered as he cupped you but not wholly because of the action but because of the determination in his eyes.

He had missed you.

Logan's fingers played with you and you let your head fall backwards, leaning on him, moth agape.

"Look at yourself, look how fucking hot you are." He nipped your ear. "How long's it been since I smelt like you?"

He entered his middle finger, met with slight resistance. You hadn't had the energy to fool around so it had been a hot minute since anything was in you.

Logan pumped his hand, finger sliding deeper. You whimpered as he met knuckle.

You'd missed this.

Missed Logan making you cum and forgetting all else. When you were bouncing on his dick was when you were happiest.

He kept the slow rhythm, carefully introducing his ring finger, and you were more relaxed than you had been in a long while.

Logan watched the tension ebb from you. Noticed the weight leaving your shoulders as you melt into his chest.

Briefly the short speech of your pharmacist echoed in your mind, telling you that these pills come with side effects - one being that it may take a while to climax. But then Logan licked your neck and you were back here. Fuck that noise, this was real and this was happening.

"He's jealous." Logan whispered, the hand that was settled on your hip pinched your left nipple. "He could smell how sweet you were."

"Hmm?"

Logan bit down on your neck, biting and sucking the flesh, marking you to high heavens before the skin faded back to its natural colour. "Fuck Stark."

"Logan, everyone knows I'm yours." Your eyes felt heavy with how relaxed you had become.

"Need to show them." The rhythm picked up and he kneaded your breast.

You released a breathy noise in response.

"Wish I kept my dog tags." Logan was genuinely upset. "Kept thinking about you in nothing but them." His hips shifted against you and you arched your spine.

"You thought about me?" When had your eyes shut? Either way you opened them to watch Logan lost in your pleasure.

"Every damn minute." He answered. "Nothing different."

"I missed you." Your eyes fluttered closed as your mouth opened, a moan tumbling out.

Logan's chest vibrated with his groan. "I love you."

He cranked the dial up to 11 and pinched your clit with his left hand so you could only reply with a nod. Logan kissed your neck in apology for being harsh to her but he could never say he wouldn't do that again. Not after your aroused yelp.

With a hand in you, the other paying attention to your clit, his mouth leaving open kisses on your neck and his own growls you were a goner.

Pussy pulsing around his fingers as you fell into his back. Your orgasm taking it out of you.

Logan - with an arousing amount of ease - bent to pick you up and carry you over the threshold into your room.

@killerwendigo @littlecrowtime @geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @br3nt-12 @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @catiwinky @ravenmedows @electricreader @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @bisasterbisexual @tzurue @narniansmagic @seamlessepiphany @4ria790 @caramelatae @mei-simp @slightlymediocree @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @the-ruler-of-death

[nycswebhead]

Just wanted you to know that you are genuinely one of the funniest people on the god damn earth, like every time I read through your blog I laugh so hard I can’t breathe, you understand Spider-Man on a fundamental level

thats because i am him?

[hephaestuscrew]

In Ep55 A Place for Everything, when Minkowski thinks Kepler is doubting the likelihood of Eiffel still being alive after he's floated towards the star in his spacesuit, Minkowski says "Eiffel had plenty of air left, and let's not forget he survived for -" It seems pretty likely that she was about to say that Eiffel survived nearly 200 days stranded in deep space on Lovelace's shuttle. It's interesting to me that Minkowski uses that incident as evidence that Eiffel will survive this time too, because that's not really how situations like that work.

We don't know exactly how much Minkowski knows about Eiffel's time on Lovelace's shuttle, but the reality is that he survived for those 193 days due to an extremely specific combination of impressive ingenuity, incredible perseverance, access to the right resources, a fair dose of stupidity, and an extraordinary amount of sheer luck. Without just one of those ingredients, he would never have made back to the Hephaestus alive. The ingenuity and perseverance could serve him well in this situation too, but the other factors don't exactly apply in the same way.

In my view, it isn't really that Eiffel's survival on that shuttle serves as evidence of any specific attributes that will guarantee his survival this time. I think it's more that the events with Lovelace's shuttle - Minkowski thinking Eiffel was gone forever but then being miraculously reunited with him - have given Minkowski a non-specific sense of Eiffel as a person who survives, a person who ends up in nearly inescapable peril and yet somehow always escapes, a person who makes it back alive against all the odds. It's not a piece of logical practical evidence. It's just an emotional instinct that allows her to believe that she's not going to lose him, allowing her to focus on what she can do to try and find him.

Minkowski's 'Goddamn it Eiffel' when he floats towards the star in Ep53 is so much less dramatic than the way she yells his name as the shuttle drifts away in Ep28. And that's partly about what the story calls for in those moments. And it's partly about the specific situations and the agency Eiffel has had in them. But it's also that in Ep53 she already believes that he will be okay, that he'll come back. He's done it before. He'll do it again.

[yarrowleef]

I’m trying to start a collection of every xenofiction book from a cats POV that I can find!! this is my criteria list:

older middle-grade and up fiction stories (maybe some exceptions for children's books if I really like them)

Mostly or only cat POV, not stories about people with cat sidekicks

about actual cats, not a human that shapeshifts into a cat, nor cat-like two-legged humanoids

Focusing on domestic cats and maybe small wild cats, not big cats 

It doesn’t have to be a traditionally published book, but it does have to be something completed that I can buy a copy of

Graphic novels count!

These are the ones I know so far, please let me know if you have any more that I can add! (not listing every book’s sequels, series are presumed to be lumped together)

(also note: I have not read most of these books yet, so I can’t say what kind of graphic/sensitive content they may or may not have. I'm just trying to make as complete a list as I can for personal reference)

Warrior Cats (obviously, this one is a free space)

Varjak Paw -- S.F Said

Tailchaser’s Song -- Tad Williams

The Wild Road -- Gabriel King

Catwings -- Ursula K. Le Guin

Stray -- A.N Wilson

The Book of Night with Moon -- Diane Duane

The Wildings -- Nilanjana Roy

The Tygrine Cat -- Inbali Iserles

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents -- Terry Pratchett

 The Familiars -- Adam Jay Epstein

In the Long Dark -- Brian Carter

Felidae -- Akif Pirinçci. Unfortunately! but I don’t want to talk about him and no one should buy his work. just adding so people know i’m aware of this book already

The Cats of Roxville Station -- Jean Craighead George

The Traveling Cat Chronicles -- Hiro Arikawa

Blitzcat -- Robert Westall

Cat House -- Michael Peak

Cats in the City of Plague -- A.L Marlow

Guardian Cats and the Lost Books of Alexandria -- Rahma Krambo

Cat on the Edge -- Shirley Rousseau Murphy

I Am a Cat -- Natsume Sōseki

The Alchemist’s Cat -- Robin Jarvis

The Stink Files -- Jennifer L. Holm & Jonathan Hamel

I, Scheherazade: Memoirs of a Siamese Cat -- Douglass Parkhirst

The Mouse Butcher -- Dick King-Smith

Heroes Rising: Book One of Catmage: Genesis -- Meryl Yourish

[chamoemileclown]

I love the way u did the soulfire egg is so cool ( i love ur art in general very cute and soft its cool)

thank you anon!! its legit my fave out of the series i think it would just be so fitting for qsmp purgatory to have a fragile little egg with a porcelain cup on its head running around in egg hell

[hella1975]

all hate to tiktok for taking 'having a space to more openly and actively talk about different cultures' to mean 'cultures are NOT to be shared and we must be vigilantly defensive of our cultures for fear of appropriation, a word that can be applied to any multicultural interaction'. like of course cultural appropriation is a very real problem but ive seen with the access to global multicultural conversation that tiktok provides it's made people TERRIFIED to even interact with cultures other than their own for fear of 'doing it wrong'. like at some point you have to acknowledge that in the real world of the great outdoors, the majority of people are eager to SHARE their cultures. yes there are ignorant questions and biases but also... how do you think those things get unlearnt? i dont understand how deciding that multiculturalism is an elephant in the room instead of a normal thing that should just be talked about and lived with is supposed to benefit anyone? and kids on tiktok are CONVINCED that it's a time bomb of a conversation to have and therefore must be avoided at all costs but like. people generally LOVE their home and their culture and are PROUD of it and want to share it. how have we made it so that showing genuine interest and a desire to understand something so integral to a person's identity is now feared and borderline demonised?

[cerise-on-top]

Sorry if anything sounds weird, English isn't my first language. But could you write a Farah x reader that gets flustered quickly?

Also, mentioned that you had a moth demon OC in the tags of one of your posts, she sounds cool! Could you show her? If you can't no worries 🫶

Hey! Don't worry about your English, it's fine ^^ And yeah, I do have a moth demon OC! Her name is Arya and I love her dearly! The one above is a picture of her in her human form drawn by Castawolf on Etsy and the picture below is one I drew when I was 17 or so! I never said I was an artist, I can't draw at all, so that was the best I could do back then! She'd be beige and a lot more fluffy, though :3 She was kind of inspired the the Radiant from Hollow Knight! Useless trivia, I know, but I just get so excited whenever I get to talk about her!!

Farah with a Reader who gets Flustered Easily

Farah would have a field day with you from time to time. While she won’t go out of her way to fluster you each time, she sometimes will do so. It’s just too cute, the way you go quiet, stumble over your words or fumble around a bit. Yes, she knows that she has to maintain the trust between the two of you, and thus she shouldn’t be playing around with you too much, but come on! It’s so much fun! Sometimes she just has to tease you about it as well and watch you get defensive over your behaviors. It’s all just too endearing to her. Sometimes Farah will stand closer to you than necessary, touch you a bit more than needed, like holding your face in her hands when you won’t stop looking away from her, or just straight up compliments whatever it is you’re doing. If you’re especially close, then she might just give you a kiss to your cheek to watch you hide behind your burger, for example. While she may not be the most cuddle-seeking person out there, she’ll offer you more hugs than usual, if just to watch you freeze up and go speechless. However, only she is allowed to fluster you like that, anyone else needs to grow up and leave you alone. Anyone else could be malevolent and tease you the wrong way. No, she can’t have that. If you’re flustered because of someone else, then Farah won’t take too kindly to it. You’re hers to fluster and no one else. This may or may not be because of the crush she has on you, but she would never admit to such a thing. As far as you’re both concerned she just likes to tease you. But never too harshly, she doesn’t want to see you cry either. Will tone it down a bit if it’s obvious you’ve become uncomfortable and apologize, but it will happen again, I can assure you of that.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

Just a small announcement. I’ll be mass deleting asks and restarting all over.

If you have asks related to Behind The Codes, please send them here. 

I apologize for the delay!