#i really can't tell any significant difference but maybe that's just me.

[nyckie]

I can't be the only one who thinks the whole "older heritage poultry has more flavor than young commercial birds!" thing to be bogus marketing ploy.

[nohoperadio]

That cool bee book I was talking about a while ago mostly refrains from philosophical digressions (which I think is a strength, I appreciated how the author had total confidence that just clearly presenting the facts about his subject would be enough to make a fascinating book without the need for any "...and here's why that should blow your mind" editorializing, and he's totally right), but there was one towards the end I've found myself thinking about a lot, which is: he wants people to stop using "self-consciousness" (i.e. the concept exemplified by the mirror test but used implicitly or explicitly in tons of other contexts) as a criterion for which animals can be considered sentient/morally relevant/having significant inner lives/however you want to describe it. Not, as you might expect, because he thinks it's an unreasonably high bar to meet, but because it's such a low bar that it produces no distinctions: he argues that basically any animal with any kind of developed central nervous system has to have some kind of self-consciousness almost by definition.

The example I remember best is: imagine you can see an object in your visual field getting closer to you. No matter the specifics, it's obviously always going to make a huge difference to how you evaluate this situation whether the cause of the object getting closer is a] the object is moving towards you, or b] you are moving towards the object. If a, then something might be pursuing you or falling on you or a thousand other things that are just not even worth considering in the case of b. But visually the two cases are indistinguishable; if you're going to be able to track the difference, your brain has to be putting at least some work into keeping tabs on what your own intentions are and what choices you're making as you move through the world, predicting the expected consequences of those choices, and maintaining a fairly tidy mental separation between stuff in the world that you're making happen and stuff in the world that's just happening of its own volition. Otherwise, every time you walk towards a rock you'll freak out and think the rock is rolling into you, or vice versa.

And it's not hard to see how this applies to your entire sensory world right, it applies to sounds and tactile sensations and even feelings internal to your body to some extent, if you're going to both perceive the world and take actions in the world then it's mandatory to mentally separate yourself and the world before that's going to yield even an ounce of helpful information, you just can't function successfully on the most basic level if you're processing stuff that you're doing on the same level as stuff that's happening, if you're in that state then you simply don't have a usable model of the world at all, you just have chaos.

So you can very easily eliminate a certain seductive narrative about the evolution of consciousness, which starts with very primitive animals who are mentally processing nothing but basic sensory inputs, then as you rise up the chain more complex animals are forming concepts of objects and building up a more nuanced understanding of the world, until finally you approach humans and the mind becomes so subtle and sophisticated that it gains access to this special advanced meta-level of thought where it can even understand itself! No, the self is precisely the one idea that has to be in place from the very beginning, before any of it has even the most rudimentary practical value. Self-consciousness isn't the pinnacle of the mind's evolution, it's one of the lowest, most basic foundations that everything else builds off of.

I think this is really cool stuff! I don't know enough about the relevant academic philosophy of mind debates to say how far all this does or doesn't speak to that, maybe someone will tell me the "self-consciousness" concept being attacked here is a strawman somehow, I don't know. But it's definitely impacted the way I (just a dumb guy who likes creatures) think about our small small cousins and what their lives might be like and I think it's super interesting. If you think it's interesting too then maybe you wanna buy The Mind of a Bee by Lars Chittka and read it. It's mostly not about this stuff, as I say it's light on philosophy and heavy on bee-life immersion, but if you actually read this whole post then you're probably in the market for that I feel like.

[writer-logbook]

5 tips for proofreading & their pros and cons

Define your objectives for each chapter. In my case, some of my chapters are better written than others. My objectives for them will differ. Before starting my proofreading, I list my needs and areas of improvements, and I write them down somewhere so I have them in front of me rather than in my head alone.

Pros : allows you to know which points you need to focus on ; provides a guideline adapted to your needs.

Cons : risk of losing homogeneity and fluidity + flaws may be shifted to other chapters that didn't have them before due to a sudden imbalance.

Plan several proofreading sessions, each one of them addressing ONE NEED AT A TIME. (E.g., one for grammar, another for style, and a final one for coherence. ) And I insist on the "one need at a time" part. Even for those who can multitask (unlike me), I really don't recommend settling for a single proofreading session. It could interfere with your concentration and let you skip some flaws. And please, always give your chapter a final read after your edits to ensure that the elements make sense as a whole, and are not repeated every two paragraphs (I plead guilty, your honor)

Pros: allows you to focus precisely on each point, and give it dedicated attention.

Cons: you can quickly get confused and risk multiple re-readings + significant time investment.

I make my corrections on a separate file. Whatever you do, it's always better to have a backup and therefore to save your files (don't blindly trust autosave) to create archives. I think it's a two-ways process : 1) you open two files simultaneously, one with your V1 and one, blank, where you'll rewrite your chapter as you make changes. Eventually, this new doc will become your V2 ; 2) you copy the parts to proofread into a new document and edit directly in there.

Pros: allows you to rewrite as you wish without being discouraged by the following paragraphs - especially in case of the first way.

Cons: requires multiple files (maybe multiple screens to be at ease) and better organization.

Change the typography. I don't know about you, but after a while, I'm struck by semantic satiation (click on the link - it's Wikipedia -, it's very interesting) and nothing makes sense anymore. After the 52,846th proofreading, I might as well read in another language. I've found a relatively effective trick - not as effective as a complete break, but sometimes you need to move forward - which consists of changing the typography. I can't remember who gave me this advice though, but be sure they've been thanked more than enough in my mind. In any case, seeing words change their shape significantly helps my brain to stay focused and attentive. (Maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me but I only see the results.)

Pros: it's simple to implement.

Cons: I don't know if this trick works for everyone or if I'm the only weirdo (you can tell me in the comment section).

Take notes. This is a very personal tip but I keep a proofreading logbook. Like, I record in a few sentences the first time an element is mentioned, how it's describes, and most importantly… I MENTION THE DATES. The story I'm currently writing is heavily governed by a chronological system, so I have an absolute need to keep the day count up to date.

Pros: helps avoid inconsistencies and oversights.

Cons: very tedious to maintain and creates (a lot) of extra work.

I've started my prooreading journey yesterday and I already want to die. If I find in the edits something that is worth making a post, be sure that I will. Or let me know if you're simply curious.

Gentle reminder : Best is the worst enemy of good so, at some point, you'll have to let it go and let your chapter live its life to its fullest. Don't be hard on yourself and be proud of your work - or know that I am.

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

So I've been rewatching the Twilight movies and certain scenes from them recently, and there's something that caught my eye while going through the post-battle scene in Eclipse.

We have Jane and the others show up, being like "blah blah blah, you guys did pretty well against all these newborns, how curious, blah blah" before Jane notices that one of the newborns is still alive, pointing out Bree.

Now, here's where it gets interesting for me. Because Jasper immediately moves and stands next to her protectively.

And yeah, sure, he's the newborn expert, he's in charge of all-things newborn vampires, so in that sense alone it makes sense for him to associate himself with her in that way, but I think it's a lot more than that; namely something that is always mentioned in passing in the movies, but never really pointed out as something significant (unlike Edward's telepathy and Alice's precognition, which are always mentioned first in terms of desirable acquisitions of power). I of course speak of his pathokinesis.

Bree is scared. At this point she has realized that she's a vampire and what that means for her life, but she has no idea if she will come out of this stand-off alive, so naturally, she is nervous.

And thanks to his pathokinesis, of course Jasper can feel that. So I think he's standing with her, almost protectively, not just because he's in charge of her, but because he can feel her fear and tries to comfort her with his presence (she with her vampire sight can of course see that his skin is decked out in scars, so that intimidating display alone probably tells her him being on her side is a good thing).

And then we come to Jane starting to torture Bree, and me having another observation.

When she falls to the ground and is screaming in agony, we can assume that Jasper can feel that, too (not the pain itself, but the mental anguish connected to it). And look how startled he seems when he sees her fall and looks from Bree to Jane.

This moment here makes me think that this is probably the first time he's ever seen Jane's power in person. Of course he knew about her, knew what her powers are. Alice probably filled him in in detail about the events in Volterra from New Moon, and I assume Carlisle has shared many stories over the years, too.

But hearing about something and actually seeing it first-hand are two very different things.

For someone like him, who can feel what other people are feeling, from their happiest moments to their most devastating mental pain, watching Jane not only use her powers, but relish in their effect without a second thought since she can't feel the pain she's causing, must be absolutely nauseating, for lack of a better word.

Jasper's experienced several lifetimes of anguish by proximity and is trying his best to make others feel better, while Jane deals blow after blow with her powers without any consequence. It must feel wrong and unfair to him.

Anyway, back to the point.

This is the face of a man who has fully realized what the antagonistic force is capable of, and he'll be sure to be prepared, next time they cross paths.

And lastly, something sad.

He turns his back on Bree, probably because he can't deal with watching her die on top of feeling her fear and pain. Neither he nor the other Cullens can stop Bree's death from happening without declaring war on the Volturi in the process (because I'm certain that's how Jane and the others would see their push-back).

So all he can do is turn away, and maybe make an effort to lessen her pain (it doesn't look like he did, but I think it would make sense if he used his powers to make death less frightening for Bree).

Anyway, rest in peace, Bree, you would have made a wonderful addition to the Cullen family. ♥

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: YOU GUYS. You guys. I feel like this is one of the hottest fucking things I've ever written. I've been so strung out on Ushiwaka from Haikyu!! lately - like, literally. I think about him while I'm working. It's fucking absurd (I realize this). But I have tried to write something for the last 3 days. Maybe 4 or 5 different tries. And then I heard this AMAZE-BALLS audio today and it's like the damn stars aligned. And here we are, friends. I hope you like this.

C/W ::: Wakatoshi Ushijima x F.reader (chubby reader - because I fucking said so). It's kinda cheesy. But my god. I'd do almost anything to have this man standing before me. Also, I don't want to get into this shit because I'm lazy tonight. If you were tagged and didn't want to be tagged in Haikyu!! stuff you're a dumbass. Just kidding! Tell me and I'll make a note of that somewhere. If you want to be tagged in future writings of this nonsensical whimsy, send me a message and I'll make a note of that somewhere. So ...

MDNI AFTER THE CUT PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

WC ::: 1,072 (about 2 3/4 pages).

Can't stop thinking about Ushijima.

Thinking about him kissing you so softly, despite being so much larger than you. He handles you like you're fine china. Like you'd break if he were any more thorough. The way his hands roam the dip in your waist, how they seek out the soft warmth of your belly pudge.

How he runs his hands down the lower half of your back and suddenly grabs your ass and hoists you up onto the front of his body.

It happens so quickly that all you have time to process is how you're practically being held up by his cock. Like a little ledge you're resting on. So precariously.

How you're grinding against it as he holds you close, how he's nipping at your ear and muttering about how good you feel so close to him.

You moan and lean into his touch as you rut against him. Your hips pretty much doing their own thing. You can't help it.

His breath against your skin - just the way he  breathes  on you is making you irreparably wet.

And then suddenly, he's moving you again. Carrying you, really. To the bedroom. He lays you down gently, hovering over you.

He pulls back just long enough to take off his shirt, and you realize it's the first time you've seen him like this. With wild abandon in his eyes, staring you down as he begins to unbutton his jeans.

You're practically panting at this point. Your cunt throbbing with the need to be filled. And then it's there. 

Ushijima's cock.

You'd seen it before, but never up close. It's so thick and veiny, and you're a little scared of how it's going to fit inside you, but you want it more than anything.

He climbs back on top of you, kissing you again, his tongue searching yours out as he slowly,  so slowly sinks into you.

You gasp and moan as he fills you up, stretching your walls in a way you didn't know was possible. It's just on the edge of painful, but the pleasure that radiates through you from having him inside you is enough to keep you from pulling away.

Even if you wanted to, he wouldn't let you go anywhere. His grip on your smaller body is nothing short of a pleasant vice. And he's not even holding onto you with all of his strength. You can tell.

Ushijima starts to move inside of you, and you feel yourself melting under his touch. He's fucking you with a gentle urgency. Like he wants to savor every thrust but also desperately wants to release this pent up craze within him.

You're getting lost in the rhythm of his movements. The sound of skin slapping skin and the way his breath catches as he fucks you.

The pain from your legs being spread so wide to accommodate his significant body is nothing but an afterthought now. 

You start to feel a warmth building up inside you, and you realize you're going to cum soon.

You try to say something but he interrupts your confession with one of his own. "I want to cum inside you," he whispers, his lips against your ear.

Your eyes go wide at his words, but before you can protest, you feel his cock twitch inside you.

"Wait, I'm not -" But it's too late. He's already cumming. You feel his hot seed filling you up, and you're so overwhelmed that you can't help but cum with him.

Your cunt clenches up so tight around him that he moans and shudders, rolling his hips against yours again and again.

His breathing is heavy, and you can feel his cock hardening against you.

You lock eyes with him, and he looks at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

He wraps his long arms around you, pulling you on top of him.

You straddle him, taking him inside you again. He's even bigger than before. You sink down onto him, feeling his cum squish out of you.

He starts to thrust up into you, his hands gripping your hips with a newfound possessiveness.

You ride him like this, your eyes never leaving his. You can see the desperation in his face, the need to be connected to you in this way. It's so intense, and it sends shockwaves of pleasure through you.

You lean over and kiss him, your tongues meeting, and he moans into your mouth. You're so close to cumming again, and you can feel him getting close too.

You grip onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he fucks you harder and faster. Hitting every spot inside of you that you never knew existed.

He leans up, taking one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking on it as he fucks you.

It's too much. You're cumming again, and you can feel your walls clenching around him, milking him for all he's worth.

Seconds later, his hands are flat on your back, pulling you close to him. He's pounding up into you with a depravity that makes you want to give up every facet of control you have left of yourself over to him.

And then he's cumming again, his seed filling you up even more than before.

He's breathing hard, his face buried in your neck. His body is wrapped around you so tightly, as though he can't bear to let you go.

You feel content. So safe with him. Like you could stay like this forever.

He pulls out of you, and you feel his cum dripping down your thighs.

He smiles at you, and tsks. "Look at this little mess we've made. I'd better clean it up before it gets all over the sheets."

He kisses you once more, his tongue darting out to taste your lips. And then he's down between your legs, his tongue licking you clean.

He's so gentle, so soft, you almost forget how intense it was just a moment ago. But then he's back up, his lips on yours, and you can taste yourself on him.

You fall asleep in his arms, so utterly spent that you can't keep your eyes open.

But you know that you'll wake up to him kissing your neck, his cock already hard and ready for you again.

And you pray to any God that will hear you that this cycle will never end.

@mackenziebrooks (I hope it's ok to tag you!) @romantichomicide95 (sorry babe, you're in my sights cuz you've seen this!) @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82 @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa @southside-otaku @viburnt @bakubunny (this should be next on your to-watch list, Bunny!) @reiners-milkbiddies (tell me to stop if you only want TokRev stuff!) @trevengersprincess (you can tell me to stop, too, if you only want TR stuff) @hanmaslilslut (taking a shot in the dark here - I saw you posted other Haikyu!! stuff!)

[robynrocksforbrains]

I love you ×9

Ok so I am probably not the first person to notice this or point it out since I've only been a byler for like six months... BUT I did maybe go a little crazy about this. So I'm gonna talk about it.

So a few days ago I was thinking about the mlvn endgame argument "well Mike said 'I love you' nine times". And like, first of all, saying "I love you" doesn't undo a year's worth of deliberate lying and miscommunication. That's not how relationships work. Their issues are still very much real and very much not going anywhere because they're not even TRYING to do anything about them. But also... I was thinking: why nine times? Why that number specifically? Was it just random? Is there maybe anything to indicate that nine is significant? Is there maybe a scene in the first episode of s4 that tells us how we should react to the monologue?

So, the DND basketball montage. Great stuff. Amazing foreshadowing. Everyone loved it.

I got to thinking about it. Decided I needed to know what Mike's roll was. I kinda spiraled about it on twitter because I could not see it clearly and I couldn't tell if it was an eight or nine. Desperate times called for desperate measures so I recorded my tablet with my phone and found the perfect frame.

IT'S A NINE

CLEAR AS DAY! IT'S A NINE! GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!

Anyway, I don't know how DND works. I don't know why this roll evoked the reaction it did from the party - most significantly, Mike's very disgruntled reaction (I don't mean The Party™ I just mean literally the party that is playing this campaign) I genuinely don't know what the fuck is going on in this game. But what I do know is they wanted us to associate this roll with failure. That's why it corresponds with a missed basket in the basketball game. That's why Eddie gets this ooo that sucks for you guys look on his face. That's why we hear a chorus of "nooo" from the party. That's why Mike says "no no no" and looks extremely upset. I don't know anything about DND, but I can read context clues.

So I'm not going to try to understand what's going on in the game, I'm just gonna go off what I think they wanted us to subconsciously pick up on.

So they show us all of this. They associate Mike with the number nine in the first episode and then that number shows up AGAIN in the last episode.

The monologue cannot be associated with anything but failure. Whether that be mlvns failing relationship, or their very real failure to save Max (at least before El revived her), and their failure to save Hawkins. The monologue does not stand apart from that. It is completely interwoven with these failures. If you have average media literacy, you know that. Even before I was aware of just how important byler is to this entire story, before I was aware that they've been setting up byler endgame since day one, you would never catch me thinking that the monologue was supposed to be received positively by the audience. You would never catch me saying mlvns love saved the world. (Although that's because I genuinely forgot about mlvn a few weeks after I watched s4). I think I received the monologue in the way it was intended to be received. I didn't fully understand it, or why they would execute it the way they did, but I still received it in the way I believe it was intended to be.

So I know the general agreement among bylers is that the monologue kinda sealed the deal for mlvn bones. Like I'm not saying anything new really. But I genuinely do think that Mike's roll in episode one, the reactions to it, and the missed shot it corresponds with were meant to foreshadow the monologue and how they wanted the audience to receive it.

This is fiction, everything means something. Everything is thought of. The timer (and maybe scores, I genuinely can't remember) in the basketball game had significance. Other rolls in the DND game had significance. Why would that be any different for Mike? Especially when his roll was a nine and that number shows up for him again when he says "I love you" nine times. And both of these things are associated with failure.

Not that we need any other reason to interpret the monologue as a less than good thing. It's just the way that it is, it's pretty easy to figure out how they wanted us to take it. But they still did give us a hint. I think it's really cool.

[iid-smile]

waterfall , tomioka giyuu

x gn!reader ! giyuu using his water breathing, he asks for permission to confess and impress you!

author's note: im having writers block with kny specifically (future sunny: thats a bad excuse btw... i just dont because idk what to write for majority of the characters) so literally everything these days is jjk. justice for kny!!!!

double author's note: hi... future sunny here. this message ^^ yeah, that was FOUR WEEKS AGO now its just laziness rather than writers block... thats why the dialogue has literally no description half the time and i really did not want to finish this

triple author's note: ahaha i bet you've never seen three in a row 😈 anyways i forgot to post this after i proofread it half asleep so here u go

"do you like rivers?"

"mhm."

"what about lakes?"

"i like anything to do with water, tomioka. you don't need to worry so much about what i like."

"i'm not worried." giyuu's gaze turns away from you, like it always does, and he looks straight ahead. "there's just something i want to try."

though slightly wary of his intentions, you know that giyuu isn't the type of guy to put you in situations where he doesn't have your consent first. and quite clearly, it's something to do with water, because he's been awfully chatty about different bodies of water, fishes, and just nature in general. it's difficult to make a guess of what he's planning, because sometimes he can just be so unintentionally unpredictable. and weird. he's a weirdo.

you walk behind him so he's able to lead the way. now that he's gone all quiet again, you can't help but furrow your eyebrows a bit. something he wanted to try? what could he possibly want to try in the middle of the night? let alone in a forest...

finally, he comes to a halt. obviously, you're a bit... confused, being stopped in front of a large, and deep body of water surrounded by rocks.

"hold my hand."

"why?"

as if he knew you were going to ask that, he turns to face you with not a single change in his expression, neatly holding out his hand to you. "i'm going to do something, and i don't want you to slip." something. there's that something again.

your eyes flicker from his hand to his face just a few times, then to the surroundings, looking out for anything odd. he wouldn't be the type to prank you, would he?

"do you not trust me?"

"i do. it's just this something that you mention..."

"don't worry. i won't do anything bad."

would it be bad to say that he immediately soothed your worries? he was already speaking more than he usually would, and you noticed his free hand was always on the handle of his sword, so he's vigilant. no worries at all. you take his hand. it's cold, and unexpectedly smooth. "what are you going to do?"

no answer. he takes a step closer to the edge, just one little tip toe away from the surface of the water. "by any chance.." giyuu remains quiet, head bowed to the water below before his eyes move back up to yours. "do you have a significant other?"

"no..."

"then," for a beat, he looks off to the side, and then turns his head back to you. "can i ask for your permission for me to... attempt to court you?"

"ah, is this why you brought me all the way out here? you have feelings for me?"

"...you found me out."

"you just told me that?"

"i didn't mean to."

the back of your hand comes up to your lips, poorly silencing your giggles. "you're a bit silly sometimes."

no response. "come."

giyuu takes a step down from the rocks, and into the body of water. from above, it was difficult to tell how far down the bottom of the lake was. "my clothes—"

he cuts you off. "don't worry. they won't get wet."

maybe he's telling the truth, since his aren't either. one last time, you look down at your covered feet, a nervous twitch running through them as the chill breeze suddenly became so apparent.

immediately, you're met with dreamlike arches of water and splashes surrounding the two of you, frozen in time and unmoving. for the first time, it feels like you're genuinely seeing his breathing technique visually, the sight similar to a vivid lucid dream. except this... this is way better. right in the climax, streams shoot up into the air, curving and twisting to form a heart in the center, then dispersing just as quick, the drops of rain disappearing into nothing as it touches skin.

it was beautiful, but beautiful wasn't even a word good enough to describe it.

"tomioka—?" but as you turn around, giyuu is nowhere to be seen. "huh? tomioka?"

you look left, and you look right. nobody's around: not a single life in sight. the trees are quiet, only the splashing of the waterfall fills in for the lack of noise around. and when you look down at your feet, you only see your legs submerged in water, all the way up to your knees. your haori steadily soaked up the liquid, the material darkening and growing heavier on your shoulders. "my socks!"

yes, you did have to walk home with wet tabi socks and zori with an uncomfortably damp surface. and yes, you did walk home with a constant flutter in your heart, not even knowing when the next time you'll catch a glimpse of him will be.

[livesworthlivingau]

Lives Worth Living Chapter 21-23

Spoilers for ISAT/Two Hats below!

"You sure you're good Sif?" (You give a nod and a slight, genuine smile. With plenty of rest and soft food you were mostly feeling back to normal. Your throat was still pretty sore, but Odile let you keep the journal for the time being incase you needed to give more long winded answers.)

"Alright, if you're sure then. How about you Bon? You sure this is the right way?"

"I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life." (They say with a very neutral expression, causing Isa to laugh heavily.)

"Well I can't really argue with that, now can I?"

"This didn't happen last time, did it Siffrin?" (Mira asks you curiously, you just shake your head, looking as confused as everyone else.)

"I wonder what would have caused such a difference? Have there been any significant changes that you think might be to blame?" (Odile asks you, that investigative glint in her eyes. You shake your head at first, but then think some more, your expression dropping some.)

"Well... Loop..." (You mumble with a sadder tone. Odile raising a brow.)

"... It is a star... Maybe they're still out there somewhere, somehow? Helping guide you along one more time?" (You know Odile was just trying to make you feel better, but there may have been some truth to it. Nothing like this had happened before...)

(You feel Isa's hand on your shoulder suddenly, snapping you out of your own head and looking up at him. He smiles brightly down at you, giving a comforting squeeze with his grip. You smile back happily, leaning against him.)

"Nille, here we come!" (Bonbon cheers, leading the charge down the trail towards where they last saw the bright star guiding them.)

------------------------------------------------------

"Why isn't Frin coming?" <You ask, looking around as you notice he didn't leave with everyone.>

"Sif's just tired after the hike yesterday, still kinda recovering, but he's fine! Besides, between you and me I think he liked breakfast so much he went into a little food coma." <Za leans down to tell you that last part, you give a giggle in response.>

"My cooking IS pretty amazing... I guess it's only fair he couldn't handle it all!" <You grin wide, proud of yourself. Za just chuckles and pats your head.>

"Be careful Isabeau, we don't want their head to get too big for their hat." <Dile teases, you just stick your tongue out at her.>

<You all keep walking along to the center of the town, looking at all the fancy ingredients and foods at every stall you pass.>

"Does everyone have their shopping lists and coin?" <Dile asks everyone like the responsible grandma as usual.>

"Yup! Got mine! Camping supply duty!"

"A-And mine! Bonnie and I are food duty!"

"Yeah! I gotta find everything to make Nille's favorite!!" <You cheer, taking Belle's hand and heading off towards more of the food stalls.>

<You look around at what's available, looking for all the ingredients for a shrimp alfredo dish that Nille adored. You only get a little bit to browse before you suddenly hear her.>

"BONNIE!!" <You jump up, recognizing the voice instantly, looking around like mad to find where it came from. You finally spot her, Nille, running towards you with tears in her eyes.>

"NIIIIIILLE!!!" <You practically scream, sprinting towards her and tackling into her, wrapping your arms around her middle, her covering you with her own arms too as she kneels down to your height.>

"Oh Bonnie I've missed you so Crabbing much!!! I'm so glad you're okay!!! I can't believe you helped save the whole dang country!!!" <Your eyes were already pouring with tears, just so happy to finally see her again after so long. Her hug felt the same as it used to, you were so happy to feel it again.>

"I tried so hard Nille! I ran and ran and ran just like you told me to!" <You shout through your tears, sucking at keeping your emotions down even a little.>

"I know you did, I'm so proud of you Bon!" <She shouts back through her own tears. You were both kinda losing it, but it didn't matter, you finally had each other again.>

<After change knows how long of a hug, Nille finally sets you down and stands back up, wiping her tears with a shaky breath.>

"O-Oh! You gotta meet everyone!!" <You shout again, grabbing her hand and dragging her over to the others, they were already together behind you, having been watching.>

"Nille, this is Belle, Za, and Dile!" <Nille goes one at a time, shaking their hands.>

"Thank you all for taking care of Bonnie, and for saving me and the rest of the country of course!" <She cheered, like she was getting a little star struck. I guess we are kinda famous now, hehe.>

"Of course! We couldn't just leave the poor kid alone!"

"Y-Yes! It was our duty to take care of them, but they were a lot of help to have around too! I don't know if we would have made it without their amazing cooking, it really kept us going!"

"They're a real talent, aren't they? I can barely boil water without ruining it, they probably learned out of necessity." <Nille chuckles as you grin proudly.>

"I apologize for the interruption, but did you happen to see a bright star in the sky recently? Perhaps one that led you this direction?" <Dile pokes in, you turn to Nille with bright, wide eyes, wanting to hear the answer too.>

"Oh yeah! That's how we found you!! I saw a star and I just knew it was you!!" <You shout to help explain.>

"Yeah actually! Pretty sure that was my friend's doing, they made a little wish for us to find you and we noticed it a little bit later!" <Dile looks very shocked by that, you tilt your head some too since that was a weird thing to just have happen.>

"A wish? As in... Wish Craft?" <Dile asks after a second.>

"Oh, yeah! Hold on, this'll make more sense if they explain it I think." <Nille turns around, looking through the crowd and spotting someone, waving them over. Someone with a very pretty outfit walks over, darkless hair just like Frin, and... starry lightless skin on their arms?>

"Everyone, this is Vale, we've been travelling together for a little while. They saved me from a sadness that got the jump on me, about a week after y'all unfroze everyone." <The strange person waves a little, smiling really wide. Something about them feels familiar...>

"LOOP?!"

...

"Lead the way!"

<Nille whispers something into their ear before turning back to you. You smile so big, holding her hand tightly. You start to tell her about all your wild adventures as the saviors. Mirabelle coming along and holding your other hand as you all walked together.>

------------------------------------------------------

(You sit at the dining table, working on a little sewing project. You were never the best at it, but you still wanted to surprise Isa with a little gift. Besides, He'd probably cry over any gift you give him, even if it's complete garbage. The thought makes you chuckle to yourself as you work on the little bird plushie for him.)

(You suddenly hear a knock at the door. You perk up at that, wondering who that could be. If it were the others they would just walk in, the door was unlocked, it's Vaugarde after all, people don't do a lot of knocking. You get up from the table and walk to the door, peeking it open, met with the sight of a rather beautiful individual.)

"Uhm... Can I help yo-" (You start to ask, examining this stranger up and down, your words stop and you freeze as you notice the gradient shade of their arms, speckled with stars, looking to their face to see the slightly discolored eyes.)

"L... Loop?..."

[evillandscaper]

Okay guys I'm gonna do a breakdown of a few of my personal hcs for the main 3 of both s1 and s2!!! This includes little doodles of how I draw em differently !!!

Let's start off with Olive :3 there's a LOT under the cut.

Okay, so Olive's really active, right? To me, she's always been brains AND brawn. So since she's out in the sun all the time, she has a tan!

She's also lightly scarred in my version, if you look carefully. Those were gathered out on cases. I hc that she has a LOT of battered uniforms that Otto sews/embroids together. Also, if you squint, you can see my version has light eyebags. It's not that she doesn't sleep, she's just fed up with everyone.

Her hair is messier! She comes into work all prim and proper, but leaves it all disheveled. If it's a more tiring day, she'll run her hand through her hair. Also, red hair tie instead of black, just cause I find it cuter.

Miscellaneous hcs:

- Olive is half Quebecois, half Vietnamese

- Her last name is Tremblay

- Her full name is Olivia, she just shortens it

- She's terrible at English and can't write an essay to save her life, but is very good at analysis

- She eats green skittles first, and thinks the purple ones are awful

- For their halfiversary, Otto got her an olive branch shaped tie pin that she wears whenever she feels fancy

Next up: OTTO!!

The urge to change his hair was carnal in my soul. It's the Asian canon event. It happened to me, and it happened to him. Just to make things a little bit more fun for me to draw, I let his hair grow out a little bit... yknow the awkward stage after a bowl cut grows out a bit? Yeah, that.

Downturned eyes! Just so he and Olive can contrast a bit more. He's soft, she's sharp. They're silly!!!

I also make sure his mole is always at least partially visible. It's such a cool part of him, and I can't believe they cover it up most of the time in canon...

Miscellaneous hcs:

- He always has his blazer undone

- He's an excellent cook, but becomes immediately incompetent once someone is watching

- He's strangely good at identifying plants, and has a habit of picking edible ones and eating them straight from the ground

- He's good at English! Not the best, but better than Olive

- His last name is Garcia

- For their halfiversary, Olive got him a cast iron pan. He doesn't use it to cook, and instead swings it at anyone who makes fun of him or Olive

Next up: OSCAR!!!

I honestly don't have much for Oscar. I love him, but don't think about him that much.

He has messier hair and is just a LOT more disheveled in general!!! Close your eyes in the bullpen at any given moment and I bet you could hear something in the lab blowing up.

He's perpetually sweaty. Damp palm guy. Maybe that's why he keeps dropping gadgets...

Miscellaneous hcs:

- He's very bad at telling the time. On vacation, he'll never know what day of the week it is

- He knows how to play the otamatone surprisingly well. He can make them talk, and has conversations with one the way one would with a sock puppet

- He never knows what significant figures to use, so he ends up just ballparking everything and just not measuring in general. Maybe that's why everything in the lab is always blowing up

- He has a full denim outfit saved up for formal occasions. I'm talking denim hat, shirt, jacket, pants, shoes, all denim

- His last name is Collins

OLYMPIA NEXT!!!!

Okay so there's a lot of hearing me out you guys will need to do.

Anna Cathcart is half Chinese and half irish!!! Thus, I gave Olympia monolids to accentuate that factor. I also downturned her eyes and thinned her "lashes" to make it more obvious that I'm portraying her as wasian!

I gave her freckles and rounder glasses for the vibe. She's just a soft character to me, and I really want to make her look the part.

She's got messy hair!! It's based on the little half fringes she had in very early s2, which I thought were adorable. Her ponytail's also higher just so she looks different from Olive!!

Miscellaneous hcs:

- Olympia knows floriography, and will get very hurt if you give her the wrong flowers

- Conversely, she thinks she's being really rude if she puts a tansy on someone's desk to show that she's upset and will feel bad about it all day

- She always carries a little salamander named Josh in her pocket

- She can speak Yiddish

- She has a massive storage of those flippable sequin shirts and has one for every occasion

- She put her hair into a ponytail bc of Olive (this one is courtesy of @/starboundsingularities!!!!!), but the more she found herself, the higher up she tied it

- Her last name is Carter-Ng

Next up: Otis!!!

I draw him a little sickly for no particular reason. He's just silly like that.

He's not that different from canon tbh! I have his hair in an undercut because I think it looks cool on him (plus it's easier to draw), and he has eyebags because of ... the vibe.

He has a notch taken out of his ear due to an injury! From what, he won't say .

Miscellaneous hcs:

- He listens to royalty free music unironically

- He's going through his Alan Walker phase

- He has barely legible handwriting, but can draw surprisingly well

- He types like an old man, with the "............" and everything

- His last name is Otis. His full name is Otis Otis. This one is also courtesy of @/starboundsingularities I love it so much

Last but not least: OONA!!!!!

She's really going through it.

Fun fact: Olivia Presti has curly hair!!! That means that Oona should have curly (or at least wavy) hair... but she doesn't. Which is honestly so sad.

But I can always mitigate that, so I draw her hair wavy. I guess it's more extremely frazzled than wavy, but it's the same effect in the end.

EYEBAGS. She doesn't sleep after The Incident. She also has downturned eyes, just because she gives off that vibe.

Miscellaneous hcs:

- Oona is a regular customer of a local rage room

- She knows how to use a crossbow to a mildly terrifying extent

- If a flight of stairs has a railing, she'll slide down it. She almost always ends up falling

- Her last name is Silva

- She says she knows how to speak Polish, but she only knows a select few words and doesn't know what they mean. They're all curse words.

- Subsequently, Oona is banned from several Polish restaurants across the city

That's all!! They're all so silly :3

[sebadztian]

And the last episode...

God, I miss it already...

Careful, Seb, you're starting to care for the other servants 😊 In any case, it's great to see them again and we're going to get the whole episode of them!

Daaaamn... 😍😍😍 Just look at those legs... It's good to see him back in shorts!

Oooh!! I love these two!!

Agni!! It's been a while, hasn't it?? You look quite well 🥹

Ok, just how big is Weston?? Why did Soma need an elephant just to go and visit Ciel??

Them!

Finny looks so nerdy in glasses. Bard looks like an 'anime uncle', and Snake looks like Mey's brother. It's not the first time we see Seb in glasses, but why does this pair make him look so hot?? Since Ciel is buying something for everyone, he has to buy those glasses for Seb for... uh, stuff...

Finny is so passionate about his straw hat, it's so adorable! 🥹

I'm so happy that they're adding these little scenes! Ciel looks so adorable too as he gets more and more annoyed as he tried on the different hats that get increasingly ridiculous.

Oh! They're goving us some recap about BoM!! Aaaah!!

Another flashback to the Campania arc! Nice!

Hm... They're dismissing it for now, but I wonder if the other six names would ever hold any significance to the series? They certainly are important enough to UT... Maybe we'd get to learn more about them if/when we get UT flashback... After Yana is back... Maybe next year... Or 2026...

I love that Finny is just so enthusiastic about everything! The herbs, the Big Ben, glasses, straw hats, even ladies perfume... Sebastian, on the other hand, looks highly unimpressed. He really looks rounder... And shorter?

He does have a point. That unicorn looks very ridiculous! Even more so than the manga version somehow...

Ciel's most favourite thing in the whole world is sweets and he's chosen a cat as the mascot for Funtom's sweets? Sebas' most favourite animal...? Can't you be more obvious, young sir? I mean, look at the unicorn! This is what he associates 'young ladies' with! Even Seb questioned him about it!

Why... Why is Seb running like that??

So, uh, nobody is going to question how this guy is able to pull an entire carriage across the streets at such speed? Nobody?

A bird? A fairy? No, it's a freaking unicorn! (That doesn't really look like a unicorn at all, tbh).

God, this is beyond ridiculous! I haven't laughed this hard in a while! That unicorn really looks so silly!

Okay, is it just me or did Ciel sound different when Seb snagged him out from the crowd?

*replayed video*

He did sound different!! Please tell me I'm not the only one who notice this!

The unicorn on the perfume itself does NOT look remotely like the life-size mascot! Someone is so fired!

Them!!

Sparkly!Ciel is so sparkly! ✨ And Seb is clapping like a penguin...

And it's a wrap! I'm so happy that we get this episode, but I'm sad that there won't be anymore Kuro episode next week 🥲

Edit (thanks to @mister-astringent): I was freaking right!! I posted this as I waited for the credits to end and they played something for Green Witch arc!! I'm freaking out!!

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

I just thought of something funny. What about a reader that can manipulated space-time but only uses it to travel. Like he goes: I’m going to get some groceries. Then travels to Belobog despite being at Herta’s space station. I could just imagine the shock!

I would request the characters: Tingyun, Asta, Herta, and of course Natasha!

@oxyotl Coming right up! Thank you so much for requesting! :D I hope you don't mind but I'm going to assume that Reader and the HSR character already know each other for the sake of convience.

Space-Time Traveler!Reader & Their Basic Need Warping with Tingyun, Asta, Herta, and Natasha!

(Warning: May be OOC!)

Tingyun

She finds it a little adorable, actually! You could literally go to the store on the Xianzhou Luofu, or even ask her since she runs good business (therefore she can find you good deals), but you seem to have your own little method of doing things and she loves it!

She is pretty curious about your abilities, and she highly respects your decision of not using it for anything but your basic needs—whether buying merchandise may be on that list or not. Heck, before you even go on this journey—sometimes Tingyun herself asks you to get something for her.

"My lovely benefactor~ Do you mind if you can get me something to help comb through my tail?~" If you have anything that is against your wishes of what you want to do, be sure to tell her! She wants you to be comfortable around her~

Asta

Finds your powers absolutely fascinating! How are you able to cross the stars and space? And time in general? Could that mean you could catch up with stuff that could light years away? So many questions!

She is very shocked to hear that you only use your powers when you need food, clothes, maybe a snack you wanted to retry, etc. Not that she's against it—she's just completely cut off guard.

But that just makes her more curious about you! Why do you only use your powers for basic necessities? Was there a restriction you constantly face while using your powers? Of course—she'll immediately apologize if any of these questions mean offence to you, but her curiosity sometimes gets the best of her.

"What's it like travelling through the stars as you stop time? Do they still glow, or do all celestial objects in the night just stop their reactivity? Ack!—Sorry, am I crossing any boundaries?"

Asta may ask you to recommend a few things to buy, since you travel to many different worlds that vary in goods. She'll personally buy something you recommend with her own money—online, of course.

If she can't find anything that you recommend, she'll ask you to buy it for her. And don't try to be generous and gift to her—you must use her money. There is no other option.

Please, side with Arlan and make sure Asta doesn't spend her money too much on shops—

Herta

Must I say a lot? You caught the attention of this Genius Society Member, that's for sure. Her puppets are constantly going online just simply because she wants to see you in action!

She's utterly shocked and dumbfounded when she comes to realize you use your powers for such useless things! How was getting a carton of eggs so important you had to use your powers to travel and get them? With your inter-universal powers?

You truly know how to falter and short-circuit this one with your simple tasks. Herta just doesn't get it—but that doesn't mean she's against it. Sometimes, she even asks you to get things for her—though that won't stop her from asking you questions regarding your powers and she is NOT afraid to ask them, lemme tell you.

"Is there a significant difference between the dimensions of time, or does it all just feel the same to you? How do you preserve your....basic necessities through this jump through the universe?" Very scientific and big questions that really has to get your brain thinking before you answer them. Good luck.

Natasha

She's pretty calm about it, honestly. Sure, she's surprised when you do it for the first time, and she wonder why you only get basic things, but nevertheless, she doesn't judge you. You are you, after all.

Since she's an Underworld Doctor, and supplies are hard to come by, she frequently has to ask you for stuff. She does feel a tad bit guilty for constantly sending you on her errands, so be sure to reassure her!

She appreciates you a lot, since (probably) half of your runs are getting supplies for her and the patients she takes care of. Natasha, in return, makes sure that you are in peak health as possible.

"Y/N, did you have breakfast? You're not going to travel with an empty stomach, are you?" Loves taking care of you and loves how you're helpful.

She also finds your travelling habits a little silly and adorable—you, who has such powerful abilities that can make even Luka Strongarm look like a joke in the Fight Club, only using your powers for the sake of basic needs.

Safe to say, she welcomes you whole with open arms!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: DONE! Woo, this took longer than expected—apologies for that! But I hope you guys enjoyed these headcanons :D

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

[saintsenara]

I’m curious why you loathe the implication that wizards are immune to muggle diseases. Is it because it reinforces the idea that they aren’t really the same species as muggles?

thank you very much for the ask, @urupotter!

and the answer is - yes, pretty much.

how the body is understood, how illness and disability are thought about, how the medical system works etc. are all questions that i am primed to obsess over in any piece of media - even when they're not actually significant parts of the story.

which is to say, i completely understand the reason why the harry potter series treats these topics in the way it does. magical medicine isn't one of the themes the story is designed to focus on - which means that its purpose is as incidental worldbuilding detail which reinforces the whimsical vibe of the earlier books and the darker vibe of the later ones, and which means that its treatment in the text makes sense within the setting and genre conventions of canon. harry being able to take a bludger - a cast-iron cannonball moving at speed - to the head and living to tell the tale is the same as john wick being able to fall from a great height, land on his back, and then get up and walk around: he's an action hero in a fantasy.

and so wizards being more physically durable than muggles - and also wizards having their own magical diseases, and being immune to muggle ones - all makes sense within the context of the books as literature. kids don't want to read about harry having a cold. they want to read about him being a wizard.

but when i'm deciding to enjoy myself by taking the question of just how fucked-up wizarding society is much more seriously than canon does... the implication that wizards are immune to muggle diseases and that they are broadly unaffected by physical trauma unless that trauma has a magical cause really bothers me. entirely - as you say - because it directly undermines the series' thesis that the purity of magical blood is irrelevant and that the wizarding world's dehumanisation of muggles and muggleborns by treating them as, essentially, separate, lower species is wrong.

the main canon example of this which i detest is dumbledore's suggestion in half-blood prince that merope gaunt could have survived childbirth if she'd simply "raised her wand to save her own life". after all, if a little bit of magic makes one immune to experiencing complications during childbirth [unlike thousands upon thousands of muggles throughout history, who would probably have very much liked to have lived to see their children grow up]... then voldemort is completely justified in thinking merope's death was a selfish, shameful, deliberate choice.

[i do understand that the idea merope chose to die is primarily included in the text so dumbledore can segue into saying that lily "had a choice too", contributing to the gradual reveal in half-blood prince and deathly hallows that she's the key to the whole mystery. but i still think that jkr could maybe have though a little bit harder about what she was suggesting with this than she evidently did...]

and so i think in fandom it's both fun and important not to accept the idea that wizards are automatically resistant to anything which might kill, injure, or disable a muggle - especially because it lets us really play with some of the big worldbuilding questions surrounding the conventions and institutions of wizarding society.

what do disability rights look like in a world which is so rabidly intolerant of difference, and which appears not to have any sort of welfare state? the nhs is a recent invention, created in a muggle britain which is culturally and institutionally separate from the wizarding one: so is treatment at st mungo's free - and, if not, what happens to those who can't pay? how is queerness understood in a society which appears to have views on sexual expression which are fairly conservative - and how does this mean the wizarding state responded to the aids crisis? what do reproductive rights look like in this kind of society? if the dementor's kiss results in - essentially - a vegetative state, what is done with the people the kiss has been performed on? what might it be like for your relative to develop dementia at 100... when you know they might live to 250? what impact do biases about blood status have on how muggleborn patients are treated?

i just think it's interesting!

[bugsbenefit]

seeing a "Mike is completely oblivious to his feelings and doesn't know he's in love with Will" take float on my dash from the wild and... i'm sorry i hate this interpretations so much. everyone can see things differently, but Mike having no clue of his own feelings makes absolutely no sense with what we see on screen to me. none

if this is ranty ignore little old me, i just need to complain today lmao

not only does Mike pause to look at Will's lips multiple times, which you could maybe argue he just doesn't realize anymore (doubtful since it's not something he's always done, it only started in s3 which is less than a full year away from s4 canonically)

there's also the whole fact that nothing else of his s4 conflict would make sense anymore. if Mike didn't know he didn't love El, what was he worried about telling her then, that she wouldn't like the truth of? it can't be that he loves her because he knows she would like that. Mike has to consciously be aware of something he knows he should tell El, but can't, because he's scared of how she'll take it

the same also goes for the sbp scene where Mike looks back at Will, shocked or conflicted, because Will is pushing him to confess to El. the initial shock would be inappropriate if Mike was already planning to tell El he loved her anyways and had no idea he actually loved Will

it also means that Mike didn't intentionally lie during the monologue with is almost more egregious because we saw Mike talk to the other's about sending El to Pennhurst with 0 concerns. he didn't know El overheard that so it might be something he thinks El could believe. but he himself would remember that he didn't "fall in love with her that moment", saying otherwise just makes Mike look like the dumbest, most unaware character in the whole show by far. not even just the show, it would probably make him one of the most oblivious characters out of Any show i can think of right now actually

it would also make no sense why we're completely barred from Mike's inner feelings during the monologue. if Mike genuinely believed what he was saying we'd be allowed to know his thoughts, since they wouldn't spoil anything yet. but alas, not only does Finn keep his lips sealed, even the rough drafts from three years ago skip over his internal feelings or thoughts completely which is extremely unusual for an emotional monologue of this importance and magnitude

everything else aside, the idea that Mike would just. not realize. he's queer and in love with his best friend is kind of bizarre to me. it really plays into the fanon version of Mike who is inhumanly oblivious and stupid. because canon Mike is actually not that bad with feelings, he can articulate himself if he wants to and he can pick up on and explain complex emotions he himself feels all the way back in s1. saying that Mike is genuinely too oblivious to realize his feelings isn't at all in line with his canon characterization

and besides it not making sense for his character. it's also a nonsensical choice from a writers perspective. if Mike would genuinely be unaware of his feelings for Will and his queerness; Byler would be rushed. i'm excited for Byler as much as the next person but this would be a horrible way to go about it. because s5 would then need to include:

Mike realizing he's not in love with El

Mike realizing he's queer

Mike dealing with the consequences of being queer in the 80s/coming to terms with said queerness to the point he feels comfortable acting on it

Mike realizing he's in love with Will

Mike and El finally breaking up

Mike and Will confessing to each other and getting together

that is an absurd amount of things to cram into a single seasons and essentially a character 180 in 8ish episodes. and all these points also need space and time to breathe to sit well with the audience. having Mike realize he's not in love with El and realize he's in love with Will would need a significant pause in between to feel good for the audience, but there's only so much time left. that will feel rushed no matter how well you write it. if they just revealed Mike being queer and in love with Will to the audience while having him already be aware of it we'd skip steps 1-4 on this list. the audience getting new information and recontextualizing things that already happened takes significantly less time than having a character go through the realizations first hand since that takes more development time

at this point, there's no way to write Mike realizing he's queer from scratch well with only one season left. there just isn't. especially with the amount of plot we need to cover in s5, the action, and all the other characters that need solid endings. opening a whole new can of worms for Mike is counterproductive. last seasons close character arcs, they don't kick new one's up that would take forever to properly flesh out

the thing that just really bothers me about this whole, "Mike doesn't know yet, he's oblivious" narrative, besides making little sense from a writer's pov and directly contradicting his canon character. is also that most takes just read extremely belittling. because a lot of people who say this seem to be aware that there won't be time to properly explore Mike's character or feelings like this. and they're fine with it because Mike will just be "Will's boyfriend", and only Will needs to come to terms with his queerness, Mike doesn't need an arc. and it's weird. the idea that Mike will have his whole queer realization in s5 hinges on the fact that Mike's character isn't important enough to get a fully fleshed out arc/time to naturally move from point A to point B, and that he'll just go from one relationship to the next with no problems

[guillemelgat]

I just started a new semester, and I'm finally getting the chance to take Malayalam, which I've been trying to do since my undergrad. This is obviously a very exciting development, and it's so delightful to be in a language class again for the first time in ages, but it's also been a very unique experience as far as language classes go. First of all, for me, who is generally used to having very odd personal connections to a language and being the overachieving linguist of the class. And second of all because it's just a very different experience to be in a class largely oriented towards heritage learners and people with some cultural familiarity.

There are five people in the class. Of those five, four have Malayalee family and have had some exposure to Malayalam throughout our lives; the last person is a native speaker of another non-Dravidian South Asian language. Of the four of us who are Malayalee, I'm basically the only one who didn't have a significant amount of Malayalam at home growing up. What this means is that we've spent very little time on the phonetics of the language, because everyone roughly knows how to pronounce it - something which wouldn't be true if there were non-South Asian in the class! (It was a bit comforting to hear all the other Malayalees struggling with aspirated consonants, which have constantly been the bane of my existence, and then to hear the instructor say that few people pronounce them right in spoken Malayalam anyways.) The instructor could ask us to say things on the first day, and the more fluent speakers could say them. There is already Malayalam being mixed in with the instruction. I'm sure by the end of the semester we'll be having extended conversations - especially since the two of us who don't speak have very concrete communicative desires for our outside lives.

It's also a very scary experience for me, personally. Or maybe scary isn't quite the right word, but I've always felt out of my depth in claiming Malayalee heritage - I've always felt that there were so many things which I didn't know which any normal Malayalee would. There is no evidence that this is true, at least insofar as that my cousins with two Malayalee parents have wildly varying experiences and I'm not actually that far outside the norm. In most American spaces, I will never be clocked as white, and most people usually immediately identify me as South Asian. Nonetheless, I know that when I visited Kerala this past December, I was decidedly foreign - to the two guys speaking in rapid-fire Malayalam on the flight from Qatar, to the person at the immigration counter in Trivandrum, even to my own relatives. Part of it is a mental block on my part, of feeling myself foreign and therefore never letting myself belong. Part of it is that I am, ultimately, American. But either way, in this class, I can feel that I'm the American in the room, even when I'm not, even when my pronunciation is just as good as the other Malayalees and there's nothing that's telling me I can't belong. I keep freezing up when asked to say real things, or when people speak to me, because there's some unreachable standard in my brain of Not A Real Malayalee, and everything feels fraught and fragile. So maybe this semester will be about overcoming that.

It's still strange being in a language class where the instructor, on the first day, can look at you all and say, "You know why you're here, you want to be here, we all have a shared experience." But it's also a beautiful thing in its own way, and I'm really looking forward to taking on a language in this way. I love the structure and the logic of language, the puzzle of putting it together, the beauty of making friends in it and watching shows in it and listening to songs in it - but as I get older I find myself really reflecting on what it means to learn and to know a language. And sometimes those barriers to learning and to knowing are only in our minds, not in our worlds. Language is communication and connection, and I hope that Malayalam serves me to these two ends, even as it sometimes feels like a trial by fire at each word.

[riddle-me-ri]

A/N: honestly didnt think I would come up with another astv fic so quick after the first one lmao but I got inspired for this scenario based on the overall consensus struggle artists are having drawing Miguel (me included asdfhjk). I was stuck between doing a drabble or a list of headcanons and doing some other characters as well. But I decided to keep it simple for now, but if you guys would like to see headcanons of the other characters reacting to you drawing them, feel free to let me know and tell me about any other ideas you guys may have!

Trigger Warning: none

Word Count: 795

Miguel O'Hara x Reader - Drawing Practice

Being a part of the Spider Society definitely had it’s perks and setbacks. 

Yeah, it can be stressful, exhausting, and anxiety inducing. Honestly, that just came with being a Spider-person in general. 

On the plus side, it was nice to be a part of something so extraordinary. Just when you started to feel lonely, you were soon thrusted into this whole other universe of other walks of life that were like you. 

Which easily kept you inspired for your art. You had a plethora of finished sketchbooks, scrapbooks of your drawings you did on notepads, napkins, and other materials. 

When you weren’t on missions in your own universe or serving as backup for an anomaly mishap, you were likely swinging around the headquarters looking for your next subject. (Not to mention there was no angle quite like the one you could get hanging upside down…)

During one of the more calmer days, you were sifting through your latest sketchbook. It was almost full. Mostly consisting of whatever caught your eyes, some new environments from different universes, and all sorts of different Spider personas. 

Well, most of them anyway. There was still probably many more you have yet to see…or one in particular you see almost every day. 

Spiderman 2099 a.k.a. Miguel O’Hara a.k.a. The guy that founded and ran this whole thing. He’s also Mr. Tall, Dark, and Intimidating…and handsome…but mostly intimidating.

You rarely spoke to him outside of certain missions where he requested you for back-up or for any sort of follow-up meeting. 

You definitely can't forget his face though…perhaps you could draw from memory? Maybe start from his mask and go from there? It can't be too hard. It's not like he's ever gonna see it anyway, and besides how are you going to draw everyone else but him? 

You got comfortable at a nearby corner seat in the food court area. You took a deep breath and started sketching. 

The more you sketched the more all the hustle and bustle started to fade away. It was you and the sketchpad. You could almost hear the pencil scrape the paper and the thumps whenever you had to erase something with your eraser.

Some significant time had gone by, and a certain leader was looking for you. Yet you didn't have the slightest clue. 

Miguel cleared his throat to get your attention properly and you almost jumped to the ceiling. 

"Oh, uh…hi, Miguel…w-what's up?" You really wanted to ask how long he was there. And damn your hyperfocus for interfering with your spidey senses. 

You clutched the pad to your chest, trying to keep him from seeing what you were doing. You hoped he never even noticed. 

"I wanted to ask you about this new mission. If you wouldn't mind following me so we can discuss it in private?" 

"Uhh. Yeah. Okay, sure." You got up from your seat, still clutching your sketchbook like a lifeline in treacherous waters. 

As you followed behind him, you couldn't help but feel conflicted. 

On one hand you didn't want him to see and on the other you kinda wanted to know what he thought about them. Would he appreciate them? Would he think it was weird? It's not like it was just him, you drew all the Spiders…

"I like your drawings, by the way." He commented over his shoulder as you got closer to his desk. 

"Oh. Uh..uh thanks…" 

"Gotta admit, I've never had anyone draw me before…" Miguel mentioned.

"That was my first attempt, you're the only Spider I haven't drawn yet."

"Felt obligated to add me in with the others?" 

Before you could stop yourself, you said. "More like saving the best for last…" 

You both stopped simultaneously in your trek. Both of you were shocked at the sentiment. 

Miguel was far from perfect, despite how hard he tried to be perfect and in control. Despite his flaws and his cold aura. You admired his determination and dedication (even if it bit him more often than helped him.) 

He turned to face you, as if expecting you to take it back or say it was a joke.

"Really?" 

You nodded.

You couldn't help the soft swell in your chest when you saw the faintest hint of a smile grow to the side of his lips. 

You tried to train your eyes and brain to take a mental photo for later. 

You two started walking again in comfortable silence, until Miguel's voice perked up. 

"Although. I don't think I have that many wrinkles." He quipped. 

You quirked your eyebrow, questioningly. "With your stress?" 

Miguel nodded in a huff. "Fair enough. You should probably add more." 

You tried to refrain from giggling as he tried to refrain from smiling any wider. 

[carnivorousyandeere]

tw: dubcon

my lil dream is darling admitting to marcus physical contact/physical affection/sex??? makes them uncomfortable becos of their past (if you know, you know) but it's something that torments darling becos it makes them feel like a freak. like darling wishes they could be more physically affectionate with hypothetical significant others and be able to have sex like others have sex.... and marcus instantly is like (: interesting (: well we could defo do something abt that (:

IDK YOU SAID SEX THERAPY AND I IMMEDIATELY GOD I WANT IT SO BAD

marcus starts off with just soft light touches and darling is trembling becos touch from others has always hurt and it pains marcus to see darling like that but now he gets to introduce gentle touch to them. he skims his hand across their skin and darling is so brave, eyes fluttering close, focusing on the touch.

then it escalates from there every session. marcus is always so gentle, so encouraging, so loving. they hold hands for long periods of time. they hug. after a certain session, they start sitting side by side every single session. eventually, even that escalates to darling sitting on marcus' lap, his arms wrapping around her waist.

idk abt marcus but MAYBE he likes the way that every single session, darling trembles under his touch but darling puts on a brave face anyway. like a rabbit that so desperately wants to run away from a predator but, instead, decides to face it head on. something abt it whets his appetite?

eventually, darling happily tells marcus that they've started to really recover and that they've incorporated what they've learned in therapy. they've started being okay shaking hands with friends! isn't that great??

of course it is! except, no, internally, marcus isn't okay with it. becos he liked being the only one. he liked his darling exclusively being his. so he ups the stakes.

he starts slipping his hands under their clothes, fingers skimming across their hips, across their waist, across their thighs. darling trembles, wondering if this is right but... marcus knows best doesn't he?

then marcus cups darling's cheeks and soundly kisses them. darling wants to pull away but marcus is stronger and so, instead, trembling so very much, darling returns the gesture. becos..... marcus...... maybe..... marcus knows what he's doing...... right?

and then marcus tells darling next session they'll really practice intimacy and darling can't tell if the feeling in their stomach is anxiety or butterflies.

ANON WHO ARE YOU. WHO GAVE YOU THE KEYS TO MY BRAIN?? Same wavelength it’s kinda scary 😳

Iykyk— I think I get what you’re putting down. That wasn’t exactly my experience, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that.

( MDNI )

CW: dubcon, abuse of power/authority, EXTREMELY unethical therapy practices, manipulation

Marcus has you in his lap, facing him, positioned just so that you won’t feel his hardness. He doesn’t want to scare you by having you feel that— this is about you, about making you feel better.

You cling tightly onto his shoulders, eyes shut and lips trembling as his hand travels under your waist band to gently stroke you through your underwear.

He leans in to press a soft kiss to your hairline, reminding you as he always does that it’s okay, you’re safe with him. He won’t hurt you. You can ask him to stop any time and he will. You nod, eyes still screwed tightly shut. Marcus keeps his pace steady and touches light, waiting for the tension in your body to unspool and melt into a different sort of tension.

When he notices your breathing become shallower, Marcus pauses and moves back to cup your face in one hand. Your eyes flutter open, dark and hazy.

“Do you need me to stop?” He asks softly.

“…..No,” you whisper, before letting your eyes close again and nuzzling into his hand. “Please….?”

He smiles softly at how cute you are, despite the pain of seeing you so obviously struggling, and leans in to kiss away the little tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

“It’s okay if you’re enjoying this,” he whispers. “It’s okay to feel good. This is supposed to feel good. You deserve to feel good.”

You shake your head no at that, beginning to really cry.

Marcus shushes you, wiping the tears away, “But it’s also okay for it not to feel good. You’re allowed to feel however you feel, and if it doesn’t feel good we’ll stop.”

When you don’t respond, Marcus sighs a little, fighting the urge to hug you closer to comfort you. “It’s alright, that’s enough for today. You did so well for me.”

He tries to move you off his lap to sit next to him and bring you some tissues— he can’t possibly let you leave his office like this, so wounded and vulnerable— but you just cling tighter to him and shake your head again, eyes still screwed shut and head turned down in shame.

“P-please… please don’t stop, Marcus…”

His heart stutters in his chest. How could he possibly refuse your heartfelt plea?