#i really like 'enough to buy fumes with' as a phrase actually

[lookninjas]

1888.

came home, sat down until I could stand up again stood in the hot shower until I had to sit down again and the twin sleeps between now and Friday morning sometime are a pair of five dollar bills tucked into my wallet enough to buy fumes with enough to keep the engine running but nothing I can count on certainly to fill up the fucking tank

[narrators-journal]

Months of tolerance

So, I was looking back at my ranpoe valentines story and I got an idea. Why not write a little collection? A little trio or so of Valentines-themed sort of ship stories?

And so, I wrote a second one for Shin-soukoku! Though, please be forgiving, I’m not a super big fan of Atsushi, so I don’t have a lot of ideas and experience on how he works and behaves, so I kinda took inspiration from the rp me and my friend did for BSD and their sort of rendition of Atsushi mixed with canon.

Atsushi had never really experienced Valentines day or White day, so when Dazai offered to take him out on one of his days off and introduce him to the basics of the event he accepted it. He was quick to find it to be a bit depressing.            “Dazai, I don't think I have any real...reason to be here," The tiger sighed, putting down one of the little Valentines bears he'd been looking at in the shop and looking over at the bandage-clad brunette that was to be his mentor in the ADA. The rail of a man just pouted at him,            "Nonsense, Atsushi! You're learning about romance," he assured, giving the white-haired man a sweet smile, which made Atsushi grimace,            "Yeah, but this holiday is obviously for couples, and I don't have any romantic partner of any sort," He pointed out, a stone of loneliness settling in the bottom of his stomach as he spoke, but his mentor simply snorted as if that point was moot.            "Sushi, you don't need a romantic partner to celebrate Valentines day, you can just as easily get gifts for friends. After all, I don't have a partner but I'm gonna get a gift for someone." He assured, and while the tiger was still a bit unsure, he just nodded.

After that, he just went back to milling around up and down the aisle as he poked at the little toys, knick knacks, or sweets scattered about until Dazai clapped his hands together in an idea,          "Atsushi! I have an idea for what you can do on Valentines day!" he chirped, bouncing on his feet in some childish, giddy high, "Why not get a gift for Ryuunosuke!" The tiger blinked and scowled at the idea,          "Why the hell would I do that? I don't have any sort of feelings for him," he about spat, almost feeling his lip curl in a snarl at the mere mention of the wheezing, gothic, Dazai fanboy. However, the brunette simply rolled his eyes at his venom,          "There is a very common phrase, 'kill your enemies with kindness', you ever hear it?" before the weretiger could answer, he continued, "Akutagawa doesn't like you. At all. Hates your guts. But! If you get him a gift, maybe be as friendly as you can be, you can get him to warm up to you!" the weretiger's scowl only deepened, which made his mentor huff and drop the excited, bubbly tone, "If you get him to like you, you won't have to spend quite as much on shirts every week." Atsushi ended up buying a cheap little gift for the goth. However, that now left him with a question. How was he to get the cheap plush cat to Akutagawa? He'd been pondering the question all through out the three days that led up to Valentines day, going back and forth on whether or not he should even bother with Dazai's stupid idea. Is it really worth risking getting stabbed again? Just to give this cheap little thing to a bastard like Akutagawa? He thought bitterly, though his cheeks burned a slight pink while he glared down at the floppy little beanie baby cat that was sprawled out on his meager little coffee table, staring up at the tiger with glassy amber eyes while he sat on his couch the evening before Valentines day. I'd sooner drink my own piss then give Akutagawa a Valentines gift. He told himself firmly, getting up from his couch and plucking the toy from the cheap table to get rid of it. To do this, he threw it out of his livingroom window into the darkness of the cold night and listened to it land in the dumpster across the street with a soft thud thanks to how hard he'd thrown it. And, with that, he shut his window with a decisive 'humph' and went to bed. Dazai was a smart man, but Atsushi was not going to have conflicting and confusing feelings plague him just to placate a violent asshole with a hateboner for him. An hour later, the tiger went out to the dumpster he'd heard the cat slam against and dug the poor thing out to be washed. Not that the weretiger had changed his mind or anything, he'd just spent money on the derpy little toy, he didn't want to waste it. Or, so he told himself. So, he instead returned it to his bedside table after washing it a few times, trying to see if he could somehow rub the new crack out of his amber eye while doing his best to get the dumpster stench out of its fur. If he really was going to 'kill Akutagawa with kindness' like Dazai said, the least he could do was make sure the gift didn't reek of three day old take out and dog vomit. When the next day came, he took the toy to work, then walked home with it draped over his arm after a day of dealing with petty couple squabbles that had turned nasty, or helping Ranpo to and from the smattering of robberies he'd been requested on. Y'know, this just proves why I should've kept this thing in the garbage, he fumed to himself, staring at the sidewalk ahead of him so he didn't see even more lovey-dovey couples for the day, If I gave this to Akutagawa somehow, all that would happen is I'd be a statistic. Nothing more. He hates me too much, it'd probably off- Atsushi's ill-tempered thoughts were cut short when he ran into someone else on the sidewalk, sending them both sprawling to the pavement.           "O-oh my god! I'm so sorry, are you hurt miss?!" The weretiger squeaked, hopping up to his feet at record speeds to offer a hand to the pretty lady in white. She had long black hair, and a familiar style of dress on, but it was her light, steel-colored eyes that finally got her face to click in the frazzled tiger's irrational mind.          "Oh!...Gin, right?" he asked as she took his hand and let him help her up while she nodded,          "Sorry, I didn't mean to run you over," she said, her voice as quiet as the first time he'd met her with Katai and Kunikida, but her words shot a nebulous sort of anxiety into his veins,         "Oh, no no no, it was my fault, I wasn't looking where I-I was going," he stammered, trying desperately to comfort her as he reached to dust her off, but then changed his mind half way, doing that would be super weird, so he instead tried to think up another way to make up for running into her. He felt awful for knocking her over, but had no clue what to do, so he just ended up putting a hand over his anxious heart and staying quiet. Gin, meanwhile, had spotted the saggy stuffed toy on the sidewalk,           "Um, is that yours?" She asked, picking it up and dusting the little thing off gently, snapping Atsushi out of his thoughts,          "What? Oh! Yeah, that's...actually, I bought it for...Akutagawa." he admitted, not knowing what else to say to explain why he had a stuffed cat. Gin blinked at him, raising an eyebrow,           "No offense, but why did you buy my brother a toy? Is it for Valentines day?" Atsushi gaped for a moment, for some reason his brain struggling to give even the simplest answer for a moment,          "I...D-Dazai suggested getting him a gift..." he muttered, his cheeks beginning to heat up as he spoke, which Gin seemed to notice, but she said nothing,          "Well, how about I deliver it to him? He likes cats, I'm sure he'd enjoy this one," she offered sweetly instead, and for a moment Atsushi could only stare at her while his cheeks undoubtedly glowed a healthy pink until he cleared his throat, get yourself together Atsushi! This is a fine way to get the damned gift to Akutagawa, then Dazai can get off your ass, he told himself, pushing down the weird flustered feeling in his chest,         "Um, t-that would be helpful," She nodded, smiling a bit at the toy cat. With that, she wished him well as the sky darkened from the yellow-purple gradient of Atsushi's eyes, to a dark, star-speckled blue, leaving the tiger to walk home and contemplate his day. For the next few days, the weretiger was on edge, just waiting for the wheezing goth to pop out from behind every corner ready to stab him. However, it never happened. Atsushi was expecting it, always at the ready to defend himself, but for the entire month he didn't even see his nemesis on jobs, let alone when he was walking home or too work. So, he began to relax. Maybe he really did enjoy the stuffed toy, he thought a month or so later on his walk home from the ADA. The thought brought an odd warm feeling to his chest, but he was swift to stomp the detested feeling back down into that part of himself he refused to acknowledge. He could accept his tiger, but he was not ready to face anything like that emotion. Then, something slammed into the side of his head. In an instant, Atsushi was knocked onto the sidewalk with his world swimming for a moment or two. In those moments, he laid there in a daze, forced to wait for his senses to return and the throbbing ache in his skull to die before he could finally stumble to his feet. When the pain stopped and he could bare to stand once again, the white-haired man looked around for what might've hit him in the head, but the only thing he found was a can of soda. A soda that, upon closer inspection, he found to be one of his favorites, which was weird enough, since usually his favorite soft drink doesn't fly at people's heads, but, no one was currently around to explain why an unopened, very dented can of his preferred soda was rolling around at his feet after knocking him on his ass like it had. He'd tried to look around, taking advantage of his improved night vision to try and spot anyone trying to hide from the blame for throwing it at him, but the street was currently sparse in other people in the area. However, after a moment of thinking, and examining the near-bursting can, it slowly dawned on the tiger who might've thrown it. Then, the date set in, bringing a stronger wave of hot embarrassment to his cheeks.           "Um?? T-thanks I guess?" he called out into the swiftly growing darkness, and then swiftly continued home, before the hiding goth caught sight of the way his cheeks tinged a small shade of pink or decided to come out to maul him for acknowledging him.

[emmelineparker308]

Father Dearest Part 4

Fandom: Harry Potter: Golden Trio Era Pairing: Harry Potter x reader Summary: Your third year at Hogwarts is about to start and with it come a lot of new changes. Harry, your best friend and crush, is in trouble from some man named Sirius Black. You try desperately to keep Harry safe but what happens when you find out some heartbreaking, mind shattering information about your father? Warnings: angst, long writing lol! A/N: Enjoy! Please like and reblog if you like it!!

“Did you hear about what happened to (Y/L/N) during DADA?”

“Oh my god, do you think that she is being abused at home?”

“I knew it, I knew that there was something off about her.”

 These were the whispers that followed you around for the rest of the week. Harry, Ron and Hermione would throw a dirty look at anyone that even dared to look at you wrong and maybe due to that, and the fact that other more threatening news was flooding Hogwarts, the incident that occurred in the DADA class was forgotten from almost everyone’s mind.

 The only thing you had been looking forward to after Moony’s class was Hagrid’s first lesson. Looking forward to it seems to be too happy a phrase to use. You had heard from Fred and George who already had their Care for Magical Creatures class that Hagrid had them caring for some crazy dangerous creatures. In fact, most of the castle was muttering about Hagrid’s lessons and you were apprehensive of what monstrous creature Hagrid would introduce to your lot. To make matters worse the Gryffindors were paired with the Slytherins for Magical Creatures. After the encounter in Lupin’s class Malfoy had been a bit more reserved in talking back in class but you were sure his tongue was going to wag in Hagrid’s class. As you made your way down to Hagrid’s hut you found that the Slytherin Prince was already there, barking all sorts of rubbish that is puny crew was lapping up. Pansy Parkinson, a toad of a girl, was hanging on every word that drew from his lips.

 “Wait till my father hears about this, that Dumbledore’s got this oaf teaching class. Honestly this whole school is going to hell,” he stated disgustingly as Hagrid was fixing something up in his garden. Harry who heard the remark turned around fuming, you had to grip his arm and hold him back before he launched himself a Malfoy.

 “What is it Potter? Got something to say?” he taunted Harry.

 “Last I checked your father was sacked from being a governor of Hogwarts after threatening the other governors. So, having your now unemployed father hear about the news of Hagrid’s post doesn’t really carry that much weight,” you recounted as the gryffindors sniggered and Malfoy turned red. You knew that the Malfoy’s were rich beyond measure and that his father technically didn’t need a  job to survive, however it still managed to bruise Malfoy’s ego.

 “At least I have a father, what was it that the boggart said? Right, ‘You’re scum, and I never wanted you’,” Malfoy stated smirking at the effect those words had on you. You froze up beside Harry, and Harry seizing the chance of you letting go of his arm grabbed his wand and threw a spell at Malfoy.

 Malfoy was about to retaliate when Hagrid came walking towards you booming, “What’s goin on ‘ere? You lot be’er not be causin’ ‘rouble ‘his early in.” Hagrid lead you into a clearing at the edge of the forest and went on to explain what the lesson was for today.

 You who had been beaming at him to show your support felt a pricking sensation in the back of your head. It was a sensation you had grown accustomed to over the past summer, a feeling of being watched. You didn’t know what it was but the past summer when you were taking your nighttime walks or when you were running errands for Remus on the weeks of the full moon you would feel this weird sensation. Nothing ever came of it, you would turn around constantly, checking your surroundings yet you would find nothing, no one was watching you. You didn’t want to alarm Remus, who (you were sure) would lock you up in the house all summer had you disclosed this information to him.

 The feeling stopped the last few weeks of summer vacation, you were sure that due to all the excitement and busyness of packing up for Hogwarts you mind simply didn’t have time to make you feel uneasy. However, the feeling was back, you instinctively turned around, you were met with nothing but trees and shrubs. There was a slight rustling of a shrub but just then a sudden breeze had started from nowhere and you heard Harry scream. When you turned your attention back to the class you saw Harry riding on a Hippogriff. Had Harry not looked like he was going to vomit, the site would have been majestic. You knew all about the hippogriffs having stumbled across an old Care for Magical Creatures textbook of Moony’s. You were slightly jealous that Harry got to ride one, and even more impressed at Hagrid for not showing a dangerous creature. Sure, the Hippogriffs may look intimidating, and yes they can cause serious harm but that’s only if you were daft enough to disrespect them.

 As Harry touched down, you along with the rest of the Gryffindors cheered. Harry was placed back onto the ground by Hagrid and you were about to get his attention to ask for a ride yourself when Malfoy pushed you out of the way. Thankfully, Dean was able to catch you before you met the floor. “Yeah, you’re not scary at all are you, you big chicken,” you heard Malfoy confidently strut to the Hippogriff. Before any of you could stop it, Malfoy was attacked, and Hagrid was fussing over him saying that Malfoy would be fine. It took ‘Mione and you to scream that Malfoy needs to go to the hospital wing for Hagrid to snap out of his panic and carry the oaf who was now moaning in pain. Dean who had been holding you still, let go of you almost as if you were made of hot iron and apologized under his breath and sprinted to catch up with Seamus.

 You were about to yell out thank to Dean for catching you when you turned around and realized the reason for Dean’s sudden odd behavior. Harry was still watching Dean with an emotion that you were not able to place filling the green irises that you were so familiar with.

 “How much trouble do you reckon Hagrid’s gonna be in?” Ron asked as you all made your way towards the castle.

 “I don’t know. Knowing Malfoy’s father, we haven’t heard the last of this,” you somberly stated.

The next few weeks went by in a blur, Malfoy moaned over his arm, which in your opinion had nothing wrong with it. You saw him catch a piece of parchment you had thrown at him with his bandaged hand without so much a thought, or a bit of pain. He just put on a show whenever he thought people weren’t paying enough attention to him. The oaf. Urgh. You would purposely throw things at him and place heavy books atop his “broken arm” whenever you had the chance. Alright you suppose it was very mean to laugh in his misery but in your opinion had he just listened to Hagrid’s instructions nothing would have happened. Hagrid obviously felt awful and kept apologizing, but Malfoy was still a git about it. He was going on and on about how he was going to have Hagrid sacked and Buckbeak killed. Once he said it very loudly in front of Hagrid that it brought the happy giant man to tears. You, being the ever so kind and patient person, you were, “accidentally” pushed Malfoy into Bowtruckle dung while he was still laughing getting dung even into his mouth.

Aside from Malfoy there was a rather awkward situation that occurred between Harry, McLaggen and you. McLaggen was a showy upperclassman, he was the epitome of the stereotypical Gryffindor. Tough, and brash, but not exactly the brightest of the bunch. He stalked up to you during one morning, chest puffed out and toothy grin plastered over his face. To you he resembled more of an ape than a boy but that didn’t stop some girls from eyeing him. “Hey (Y/N),” he charmed as he pushed Harry and you apart and sat down between you.

“Top of the Mornin’ to ya, McLaggen,” you sarcastically stated. Harry and Ron snickered at the disinterest in your voice but McLaggen clearly didn’t get the hint (again nOt tHe bRiGhTeSt bUlB)

“Listen so the Hogsmeade trip is coming up,” he started.

“Is it? I didn’t know you could read a calendar,” you retorted but he chose to ignore your statement.

“I know that this is your first trip to Hogsmeade and for a bird it’s just sad to go alone. I know that you’re probably fretting over it but not to worry, you to accompany me,” he finished his proposition. You were actually dumbfounded for a second at his remark. He hadn’t even asked you out, he told you that you can go with him.

“McLaggen, though I’m sure that would be, er- well fun isn’t the right word, tolerable, it would be tolerable. I will not be going alone. However, if I ever find the need to be in the company of a donkey, I’ll let you know,” you hotly stated and walked away. 

“Mate she just called you an arse,” you faintly heard George bellow out over the laughter that filled the Great Hall. 

Soon it was time for your first ever Hogsmeade trip. You offered to stay with Harry when you realized that he wouldn’t be able to go with you, but he told you to go have fun. While on the way to Hogsmeade you noticed Ron nervously looking at you, he always looked like he wanted to say something but after sneaking a peak at Hermione he opted to stay quiet. Once you got to the village even Hermione started acting odd, glaring at you every once in a while. Upon getting the clue, you jogged on ahead of them, citing that you wanted to buy Harry something and went into Zonko’s Joke shop. As you made your way out of  Honeyduke’s you felt an arm wrap around you, but no one was near. Vanilla and Pine Cones. “Harry, no way, how?”

“Fred and George gave me this wicked map,” he explained getting out of his cloak. “It showed me a great route to take without alerting Filch.”

“Great. I was starting to get bored. Let’s go into Three Broomsticks and get a butterbeer. I’ve never tried one,” you stated while dragging him along with you.

“Where’s Ron and Hermione?” Harry asked as you found an empty booth in the corner. Madame Rosmerta, the bartender had given you a rather weird look when you went to counter to place the order.

“They were acting odd once they got here. I decided to leave them alone,” you stated. Your butterbeers came and you both drank the liquid, letting it fill you with warmth. You dragged Harry around with you through the entire village. From Honeyduke’s Harry brought enough sweets to last till Christmas, you had made a comment on it when he said that more than half of it was for you. From Zonko’s you brought Ron the Screaming Yo-Yo he had mentioned wanting. You even walked over to Madam Pudifoot’s but one look at the pink exterior and you pulled Harry with you in the opposite direction.

“Harry,” Hermione exclaimed, as Ron and she came out of the joke shop. Ron looked rather glum until you handed him your package. He opened it and almost tackled you onto the ground in a hug.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the action and kept talking to Harry, “How did you get here?”

“Never mind how,” Ron laughed, “Harry, we’ve got to go into Zonko’s there’s some wicked stuff in there for pranks.” As Hermione hit Ron, you noticed Madame Rosmerta outside of her pub.

“Hey ‘Mione, look who it is,” you diverted their attention to the bartender who was talking to the Minister of Magic, he was looking rather intimidated by her antics. You looked over at Ron who was very red in the face as Hermione took to teasing him about his crush on dear old Rossie.

“Sirius Black?” you heard her say over the chipper of the crowd. Almost immediately you felt movement from you back and you knew Harry was making a beeline for Three Broomsticks. Without another thought you placed an invisibility charm on yourself and walked in Harry’s footsteps.

“Sirius Black? Come now Minerva why would he be coming to Hogsmeade of all places?” you heard Rosmerta ask as McGonagall started to explain the horrendous crimes that Black did. You huddled in a corner far away from everyone in the room but still close enough to hear the conversation. You felt a warm presence next to you that you guessed to be Harry.

“In the darkest times, when James and Lily Potter had to go into hiding Sirius Black was appointed as their secret keeper. He was the only one in the world that knew about their whereabouts, and when it came time to, he betrayed them,” McGonagall explained as tears welled up in your eyes.

Poor Harry must be going through a tsunami of emotions right now, you worried. Knowing that Sirius Black was after him was one thing but now realizing that he was the sole reason his parents were killed must be doing a number on him. You could tell he was shaking, and you felt around for his arm and held on to it.

“So, you think what? That he wants to finish the job You-Know-Who started and kill the boy?” Rosmerta questioned.

McGonagall’s lips stretched into the thinnest line you had ever seen, “Rosmerta the fact of the matter is that he still remains Harry’s godfather. Not only that, that poor girl (Y/N), she has no clue of course.” Your head was spinning from all the revelation that was happening but at your name your ears perked up.

 “Oh, that lovely doll, the one with brown eyes and black hair,” Rosmerta added, “I just saw her in my shop, she’s a splitting image of her mum, it made me tear up a bit. I will say her eyes and that hair, that she got from her father. She reminds me so much of her mother, even smiles the same way. (Y/L/N) was such a wonderful woman.”

 “”Metra, my dear,” Fudge interrupted, “The lass has no idea that her mother was Estella (Y/L/N) and that her father is Sirius Black.”

Taglist: @missmulti​ @may-machin​ @magicalaquarian​ @junkersandroadies-son​ @prongsyy​ @cute-but-weirdo​ @lozzybowe​ @minecraftlover444​ @selmeuuh @play-morezeppelin​ @ilovespideyyy​ @wecouldbreakthedistance​

[redhawtriot]

Could I possibly have a scenario with a fem s/o who is constantly high but yet Bakugou can’t help but fall in love :) thanks in advance!

Anonymous- “Can I pls get first date with bakugo and reader goes to pay for her half and bakugo shits her down with some tsundere ass response like “I just know if you pay for this you’re gonna complain you dont have money to buy other shit.”

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

I mashed these two request together!

Enjoy the fluff while it last cuz it’s finna get ANGSTY in this bitch!

HnM💕

How Stop liking a Stoner (Bakugou x Reader)

Bakugou absolutely hated you. Of course he didn’t get along with most people that he met, but the way that he despised you felt different  from others somehow. 

It all began the day that the two of you met. You had walked into class with a very distinct odor. You considered yourself to be a professional at hiding your more delinquent lifestyle; however, masked away under the layers of fruity and sweet perfumes that you had coated yourself in, was a slight, but very recognizable, dank and smokey smell.

You also had certain mannerisms that could alert even the purest of minds to your…ahem… extra-curricular actives.

Now, you weren’t a complete noob. You could handle the high well enough that you weren’t overly quiet, or loud, but you did often find yourself in situations that could expose your habits: such as when Mina asked you to feel how soft a furry piece of her hero costume was, and you ended up petting it for a few uncomfortable minutes before someone called you out, snapping you out of your trance.

Bakugou, being the ever perceptive grump that he was, noticed any of these sorts of slip ups and drew up the conclusion that you were indeed a stoner.   

But that wasn’t even what he could bring himself to hate about you. No, it was the way that you made him feel whenever you were around that made him wholy despise you. 

When you stupidly giggled at every slight occurrence, he could only replay the sound in his head over and over. Disgusting. When you absentmindedly swayed your body in a slight dance during lectures he couldn’t help but to watch you with a terrifyingly light feeling in his chest. Fucking gross. Even as you sat chomping on the insane mountain of snacks that you brought to class, he couldn’t fight the urge to steal glances at the little smile that was perpetually plastered onto your face. Absolutely adorable. WAIT? WHAT THE FUCK?! 

God, he couldn’t stand your ass.

The furious blond found himself sitting at his desk, glaring at his laptop. He sat in thought for a moment before violently popping his knuckles and leaning into the search engine in front of him, allowing his fingers get to work.

Is marijuana bad for you? 

Bakugou scrolled along the first page and found many differing views on the subject, but most scientific articles and studies mostly said the same things: “maybe”, “it depends”, and “we don’t know.” He groaned in frustration, before trying another phrasing of his question,

Can smoking have long term effects? 

The teen was surprised by the overwhelming amount data that appeared, before realizing that they were mostly referencing to cigarettes and cigars. He growled and angrily smashed his fingers against his keyboard to correct his question.

Can smoking weed have long term effects?

As he eyeballed his screen he was once again disappointed by very vague and unclear answers. He slammed a fist onto his laptop in frustration. How the hell could you put that shit into your body without knowing what it would do to you later?! 

Wait. A better, more pressing question shoved itself into his mind.

WHY THE HELL DID HE CARE SO DAMN MUCH ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE DOING?!

Bakugou groaned in frustration and roughly snatched a fist full of his hair, as if he were trying to rip you clean out of his mind. He knew for a fact that mind-altering wasn’t your damn quirk. So why the hell does he give a fuck about you? You weren’t even around him, yet he found himself having his thoughts wander to your well being. It pissed him off. 

Bakugou once more smacked his fingers against his keyboard as he typed one final question,

How to stop liking someone?

As soon as he saw the words flash across his screen, it was like the weight of the entire situation finally cracked something inside of him. Shit. He did like you. The boy suddenly slammed his laptop shut and threw it away from him like it had suddenly disgusted him.

He then decided that he was going to pretend like the last hour of his life just didn’t happen. Yeah he was gonna “control, alt, delete” the fuck out of every thought he just had. 

God dammit, he didn’t have time to dwell on crushes if he was going to be the number one hero! That stupid, delinquent girl wasn’t going to get any more of his time or thoughts!!

But.

It seemed like fate had something else planned as you hurriedly walked to your classroom, 1-A, the next morning. You absolutely couldn’t risk being late today. You hadn’t had enough time to grab your eye drops that morning and Aizawa would certainly notice your altered state if attention was drawn to you. 

The hallway ahead of you moved in choppy frames before you finally whipped a turn to enter the door of your classroom. As soon as you turned into the class, you were slapped with a warm sturdy object, sending you flying back onto your butt.

Bakugou immediately thrashed his body around to confront whatever idiot just knocked into him, “HEY WATCH WHERE YOU’RE…” he trailed off as he recognized your figure. Your lunch box that you had been holding had spilled its contents all over you, but the dirty sight of you was somehow still enough to make his heart throb, “…going.” he finally finished.

“Sorry, Bakugou,” you apologized as you rubbed the side your your head, trying to stabilize your whirling mind, “Oh, man! My food!” you sadly exclaimed as you recognized the pathetic mess of snacks and small meals you had prepped for your day all over the floor and yourself.

The sight of your frown in contrast to your usual happiness gave Bakugou’s chest a twinge of pain. He growled at the emotion as he glared at you on the ground, “Well, maybe you should get your head out of the damn clouds and watch where you are going!” he yelled before stiffly turning on his heel and heading to his seat. 

You blinked in surprise at his retreating figure. Well, you hadn’t exactly expected him to apologize or help you or anything, but you also didn’t expect to see the blush that creeped across his face before he stormed off. 

Huh.

You cleaned yourself up easily enough. Honestly, the situation and Bakugou’s subsequent outburst had helped you make it through the day without getting suspended, drug tested or expelled. By the time you cleaned yourself up and made it back to the classroom, your eyes had pretty much returned to their normal state. 

Today might not be so bad after all!

GrrrrRRRrrRRrrr, your stomach screeched, causing almost all of your classmates to whip their heads toward you in surprise. 

Shit…

You hurriedly grabbed your stomach with a nervous laugh, trying to console the despairing little monster; however, you still spent the rest of the school day with your tummy loudly yelling at you. Watching everyone eat during lunch was absolute torture as your stomach cursed at you for being so damn clumsy. You honestly could have died. 

Death by munchies.

However, it seems as if the cannabis lords took pity on you that day and you actually made it through your last class. You were the first one out of their desk as you rushed out of the classroom and down the hall— the thought of food on your mind, but suddenly you felt a heavy hand snatch your wrist,

“Hey, idiot!” When you looked back your eyebrows shot straight up at the sight of Bakugou’s hardened expression, “Let’s go grab some food.”

Um… hWhat? The suggestion completely threw you off balance. You shook your head as if the vibrations that just came in through your ear needed some readjusting,  “Like… together?” you tilted your head in shock. You’ve never seen Bakugou willingly hang with anyone else besides Kirishima, let alone initiate an event with them!

Bakugou fumed at your questioning appearance, “Are you really that stupid!? I could hear your stomach growling from across the classroom!!”

You giggled at yourself in embarrassment, not quite sure of what else you could do in the moment, “…Why do you care?” you laughed.

Your laughed sent a searing wave of heat to his face. You’d… never directed this display of happiness toward him before, and for some reason it made him feel extremely hot,

“I don’t!” he yelled as he tried to fight the warmth away, “I just knocked your food down earlier and… I don’t want to owe you anything,” he suddenly noticed that he was still clinging to your hand. The heat in his face doubled as he snatched his hand away from yours, “So where do you wanna go? I am not taking no for an answer,” he began as he walked away from U.A.’s campus with a rigid nod for you to follow him. 

You paused for a moment. Is this real? 

A large smile began spreading itself across your face– the cannabis lords once gain raining mercy down upon you, “Maybe a… Mcdonalds!” you happily suggested as you skipped into a light jog ran to catch up with him.

“Mc.. donalds?” Bakugou threw you an expression that resided in an area between horrified and disgusted for a moment before correcting himself back into his comfortable anger, looking at the ground as the two of you walked.

“Yeah, like the clown place!” you added. Bakugou growled at your answer. He wasn’t a fucking idiot he knew what a damn McDonald’s was. You laughed at his response as you continued, “You’re not scared of clowns are you, tough guy?” you teased.

“Fuck you,” he simply huffed, refusing to even entertain your accusations. 

“Wow, on the first date?” you boldly retorted with a stifled laugh, causing him to falter in his steps for a moment. He snapped himself out of whatever stupid emotion he felt at your words, 

“IT’S NOT A DAMN DATE!” he roared, causing you to simply shrug, a pleased smile on your face as you continued to walk without him. 

“Where are you going, you idiot?! There is a Mcdonald’s right there!” he angrily gestured to the golden arches the other direction of where you were headed. 

“I like the one by my house better,” you explained, “It had a gas station attached to it, so I can grab some snacks on the way out.”

….

G-gas Station McDonald’s….? Bakugou could have thrown up right then and there. 

“DISGUSTING!” the blond screeched, “I am not walking all the way over there just to walk back to the dorm! Are you an idiot?!”

Alright. Who the fuck did this to him? Made him crush on a complete loser?! Cupid? God?! He was gonna fight whoever the fuck it was! 

“Fineeee,” you laughed and the two of you walked over to the inferior McDonalds. Bakugous eyes widened in repulsion as you ordered both a Big-Mac meal and a twenty piece chicken nugget with a dozen cookies.

As soon as you happily reached out to give the cashier your money, he swatted your hand away and shoved his own cash at the associates face, “No, take mine.” he harshly ordered. The employee shakily agreed and accepted his money. 

You threw him a confused glance but before you could even open your mouth to question him, he spoke up, “I just know that if you pay for this, you’re gonna complain that you don’t have money to buy other shit,” he explained, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. 

You noticed this red tint, but decided to tease him instead of pointing it out, “Yeah, like gas,” you nodded with a sly smile. 

“Gas? You’re fifteen and don’t have a damn car, you idiot,” He argued, but the boy immediately paused as soon as he saw the suggestive expression that you held on your face. Things finally clicked as soon as you wiggled your eyebrows towards him. Gas… you meant weed. He angrily snatched the two soda cups that the cashier was extending out as he loudly yelled at you,  “FUCK! YOU MAKE IT SO DAMN HARD TO BE NICE TO YOU, YOU KNOW THAT?!” He screamed as you cracked up at his uncharacteristically slow uptake.

The two of you had decided to eat at a booth near a window. You found yourself being really surprised at the quality of this McDonald’s chairs. Bakugou loudly chastised you for gawking at the chairs like some freak before the two of you promptly began eating your food. 

It was mostly quiet between the two of you as the textures of the meal performed on your sensitive tongue until Bakugou finally spoke up, “Why do you put that nasty shit into your body?”

“Uh,” Your eyes danced away for a split second, “McDonalds?” your faced crinkled in confusion.

“No, you dumbass!” Bakugou fought the urge to facepalm, “marijuana!” he angrily corrected.

Oh… you felt yourself deflate for a moment, as the question absorbed into your mind. You suddenly let out a giggle, “I don’t know. It makes me feel good, I guess.” Bakugou had to fight another blush at the sight of you adorably shrugging your shoulders. 

“That’s a stupid answer. You can’t feel good on your own?”

You tilted your head as you thought about it for a moment. Of course, you could feel good on your own. Just take a look at you! You weren’t even very high anymore, yet you were still on cloud nine right now for some reason, “Well… I feel good right now with you.”

That did it. His adrenaline flared up in an instant. Bakugou couldn’t even come up with fluid words as a series of death threats and curses instinctively flooded to the forefront of his mind,  “S-shut up.”

You giggled at his loss for words before letting the conversation die again. The two of you once again found yourselves in silence as you sat with a smile on your face.

This time, it was you who broke the silence, “Thank you, for hanging out with me today. I really appreciate it.”

“Whatever, loser. Don’t get used to it,” he huffed, angrily stuffing a few fries into his mouth. 

“So…. there’s not a second date ahead?”

“I didn’t say that,” he grumbled, snatching his glare away from you and out of the restaurant window. 

So it was a date. A huge smile once again spread across your face for the millionth time that evening. You happily plopped another fry into your mouth at the sight of him blushing once more. 

[andinewton]

Mixer-ed Emotions - Jealous!GavinxMC

Finally!

I know, I’ve taken days over this!  But it ran into 12 pages and took all day for me to reread it just to make sure it made sense!  I’m going to dedicate this to @voltagesmutter​ for listening to me tease sentences and quotes from it as I fought my own body to get any damn work done!

Mixer-ed Emotions

Jealous!GavinxMC (Emci)

Summary:  When you agree to make up numbers at a mixer you don’t realise Gavin is doing the same.  With misunderstanding after misunderstanding and some irritating attendees, will Gavin get to ask you his question when another man shows a lot of interest?

Warnings:  Swearing, threats, violence.

‘C’mon, Willow, do I have to?’  You whined, dragging your feet much like a child being taken somewhere they didn’t want to go.

‘Yes, you do.  You agreed to help me out.’  Your colleague glanced back at you with a stern look.

‘When I said I’d do this to help you out I didn’t realise you meant it was tonight!’

‘I wouldn’t have needed your help if it wasn’t short notice.’  Willow turned and linked her arm with yours, pulling you along.  ‘And you know there’s no commitment involved, you’re just making up numbers.’

‘But a mixer?  Seriously?’

‘I know you hate the idea but it’s for one night, you are under no obligation to either attend another or decide maybe you like one of the guys tonight and go home with him…’

‘I won’t be going home with anyone!’  You gasped, wide eyed at her suggestion.

‘Sure, okay, you won’t be going home with anyone.’  She shrugged with a smirk.  ‘Anyway, we’re here, and you’ll know more than just me so relax, you’re among friends.’

‘That’s what I’m afraid of.’  You muttered as she opened the door to the bar, the noise hitting you like a solid wall immediately.  With a sigh, you entered, hoping this evening wouldn’t be a bad as you imagined it could be.

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You had a large table at the back for the ten participants.  So far you knew Willow and Kiki, as well as two women from another company who you shared the office building with.  Three of the men were there and Willow assured you that the last two were only a block or two away, according to her phone waved at you when you pointed out you could leave as the numbers weren’t even.

‘Why would you want to go and leave now?  We just got here!’  The man seated opposite you was already a few drinks in and he showed no sign of letting up.  All you had established from his inane consistent drivel was that he was some hot shot in sales, had to turn down several women to make himself available for tonight, and that he loved himself almost as much as he loved the sound of his own voice.  You had so far nodded along with his stories but you really had hoped the other two guests having not arrived might be your chance to escape.

‘We did but if the numbers aren’t even it’s not exactly fair on the other girls, is it?  So if I leave then it’ll be one step closer to even.’

He leant in, breathing fumes all over you.  ‘Or we could both leave and visit this little hotel I know not far from here.’

‘Or we could not.’  You leant away from him as the door to the bar opened, showing Minor rushing through it and towards the table.

‘Sorry, Willow, my friend was running late.’  Minor grinned as he ran his fingers through is unkempt hair, his eyes meeting yours a moment later.  ‘Oh, hey, boss!  Didn’t know you’d be here!’

You narrowed your eyes, his words seeming to imply that perhaps he did, but what difference did that make?  You were knocked out of your pondering by the guy who loved himself tapping your arm.

‘So, are you actually the boss or is that some kind of honorary title because you’re bossy?’

‘Actually, I own the company.’  You gave him a deadpan stare.  ‘I am literally the boss to three people at this table.’

‘Ohhh, a ballbuster, huh?’  He nodded before taking another slug of his drink.  ‘Well, good luck to you, it’s a mans world out there and it’ll all be for nought once you get married and start popping out babies.  But I guess your husband could take over the business, probably make it more profitable too.’

‘We’re already profitable.’  You replied.  ‘And I have no plans to get married or have children in the foreseeable future!’

‘That all changes when you career women meet the right man.’  He laughed.  ‘Same story, every time.’

‘Sorry I’m late.’

Your open mouth full of some choice words snapped shut as you turned toward the new voice, seeing Gavin standing at the end of the table, looking sheepish and like he didn’t want to be there.  He didn’t seem to have noticed you yet and you wondered if it was too late for you to make a break for the bathroom and escape through a window.

‘Huh, new guy.’  The salesman slung his arm around the back of your seat territorially.  ‘Being late makes a bad impression.  Now, take me.  I was early, had a bottle of sake on the table ready for your arrival.  That’s husband material.’

‘Drinking half the bottle before anyone else gets here though, that’s not.’  You retorted but you were still side eyeing Gavin as he took his seat, one of the women from the other office shuffling closer to talk to him.

‘I’ll buy another.’  He snapped his fingers for the wait staff, finally leaning away from you and allowing you to take a breath of fresher air.

Your eyes were back on Gavin in seconds, like something drew you to him, and this time he was looking back at you, a mixture of surprise and horror on his face.  You guess you were the last person he was expecting to see here tonight.  The woman was talking to him animatedly but you could tell from the look on his face that he was only being polite, his eyes clouded over and his gaze just as dark.

‘Now we’re all here I’ll get our food brought out.’  Willow waved to the bar where the manager, apparently a friend of hers, acknowledged her with a smile and headed into the kitchen.  In minutes several platters of finger foods were delivered and arranged on the table within reach of everyone.  You were happy of the distraction and picked up a mozzarella stick, biting the end off while the guy continued to talk about himself.

Your mood had been bad enough before Gavin’s arrival but now it was worse, stolen glances his way showing the woman hand feeding him food from the platters.  Gavin wasn’t one for PDAs and he blushed easily, you could see the rose on his cheeks from here, but you were unsure whether or not it was from being embarrassed or because he was enjoying himself.  You huffed a sigh, just as you caught the last few words the man beside you.

‘Don’t you think?’

You looked at him while trying to hide your confusion, having no idea what you were supposed to be agreeing on.  ‘Will you excuse me for a moment?’  You got to your feet without another word and headed towards the bathrooms at the back.

‘Don’t be too long.’  He called after you and you rolled your eyes.  Never again, favour to a friend or not.

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Just as you reached the door you noticed the outdoor seating area and decided to detour.  You didn’t actually need the bathroom just an escape from the inane conversation…and Gavin being so damn happy with another woman.  You took a deep breath in through your nose of the cool night air but it did little to clear your head or heart.  You knew this was a stupid idea, you just hadn’t known how stupid.  Which was very.

‘Hey.’

You jumped as the voice of the very man you were thinking of spoke from the door, turning to see Gavin strolling towards you with his hands in his pockets, head lowered, a sheepish expression on his face.  You turned back around immediately, swallowing hard as so many emotions ran through you.  You didn’t want to see him, you didn’t want to see anybody, and even now you were considering scaling the fence and escaping this entire event.

‘Can we talk?’

Oh you hated that phrase.  It was never the start of a fun conversation, it never ended well.  ‘I don’t see that we have anything to talk about.’

‘Then rather than talk, just answer me one thing.  This is what you blew me off for?  Some mixer with random guys who could be anyone?’

‘I didn’t blow you off.’  You argued as you sensed him stop behind you.  ‘Willow asked me to make up numbers a couple of hours before you asked me to dinner and I’m not one to go back on a promise to a friend, no matter how stupid.’  You muttered the last to yourself.  ‘And what about you?  I ask for a rain check and you start food play with the first woman who looks at you?’

‘That’s not what…’

‘I don’t even care any more.’  You interrupted him mid sentence.  ‘I’m done for the night.’  Heading back towards the restaurant you half expected him to try and stop you, and when he didn’t you weren’t sure if you were disappointed or relieved.  You went to the table, grabbed your bag and jacket, telling Willow you would see her at work before leaving to calls asking where you were going from at least three people, one you were sure was the chatty show off.

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You pulled on your jacket as the first spots of rain fell from the sky, quickly turning into a deluge as you walked, wanting some distance between you and the restaurant, between you and Gavin and his little foodie friend.  You tried hailing a cab but they were all taken and that left you with no choice other than to walk to the nearest station.

You had almost made it when your arm was grabbed from behind and you spun, half ready for it to be a mugger, half ready for it to be Gavin, either way you were ready to swing your bag and cause as much damage as possible.  But it was neither one.  Yeah, of course it was that jerk from the mixer.

‘Where are you heading?’  He asked, drawing you to a halt as you stopped the progress of your bag swing.

‘Home.’  You stated firmly, proud that your voice held firm despite how churned up you felt inside.

‘I’m not going to say no to that offer.’  He grinned.  ‘I have a car parked not far from here.’

‘That’s not what’s happening here!’  You shook his hand off your arm.  ‘I am going home, alone, end of story.’

‘Don’t be a prude.’  He scoffed, catching your wrist with his hand in a firm grip you were unsure you could break.  ‘You’ve been coming on to me all evening and you aren’t leaving me with blue balls.’

‘Don’t flatter yourself!’  You swung your bag at him only to have your other wrist caught and wrenched behind your back with the other.  You suddenly found yourself very up close and personal with this douchebag with no way out.  ‘Get the fuck off me!’  You growled, but it only made his grin broaden, his eyes darken.

‘If I didn’t know better I’d think you’re getting a kick out of this.’  He closed the distance between you, his tongue protruding as he approached.

Your heart leapt in your mouth as fear dragged its cold fingers up your spine.  This wasn’t how you wanted tonight to go, none of it was, and you were beginning to wonder if you had been cursed from the minute you had to turn Gavin down.

‘If you want to keep that attached to your body you’d better rethink your entire position.’

You had never been so relieved to hear Gavin’s voice, the jerk before you freezing before looking back over his shoulder.  ‘This doesn’t concern you, pretty boy.  I’m just getting what I’m owed from this prick tease here.’

‘Emci is a lot of things,’ Gavin remarked casually as he slowly walked to stand parallel to the two of you, keeping his movements measured and cautious, ‘but that isn’t one of them.’

‘What do you know?’  He released one of your arms as he leant threateningly towards Gavin.

‘I know you have three seconds to get your damn meathooks off her before I make you.’

The man laughed, long and hard, as though this was the funniest thing he had ever heard, which gave you the opportunity to make eye contact with Gavin.  He nodded infinitesimally for you to side step away from the man as far as you could, and you were only too happy to oblige.

‘That’s your three seconds, junior, what are you going to…’

He didn’t get to finish.  A gust of concentrated wind hit him square in the chest, jarring his hand from your arm as he staggered back into a parked car.  You stumbled away from him and towards Gavin with his hand reaching towards you encouragingly.  The moment you reached him he had you close, his eyes never once leaving his target.

‘You okay?’

‘Been better.’  You nodded rapidly.  ‘But yeah, I’m okay.’

‘You son of a…!’  Your brief chatter was broken by the man dragging himself to his feet, drawing a knife as he did so.

‘You brought a knife to a mixer?!’  You yelled, not quite believing your eyes.  You could have been in a lot more trouble than you imagined.

‘That bitch is mine for the night and I’m not going to let a kid like you take her from me.’  He slashed out at nothing, almost a warning shot, Gavin backing you up a step to give you more distance.

‘See, that’s where we differ.’  Gavin replied.  ‘I don’t just want her for a night.’

‘Gavin, be careful.’  You warned him as he showed no signs of retreat.

‘I’ve got this.’  He assured you, keeping you one step behind him.

‘You’ve got nothing!’  The guy lunged forward the knife swinging through the rain, but his wrist was met by Gavin’s foot, the sound of the two meeting resonating loudly.  Whatever tough guy facade this guy had put on dissolved in an instant, the knife flying from his grip as he grasped his wrist, crying out loud like a wounded animal.

‘Okay, let’s get out of here.’

‘But what about him?’  You had been unable to take your eyes off the man until now, looking up at Gavin as he wrapped both arms around you.

‘I’ll get his details from Willow tomorrow.  He’s going to have to explain himself down at the station.’

‘But…’

‘No buts.’  Gavin interjected.  ‘I want you safe.’

You didn’t know how to argue with that and Gavin took your silence as permission, taking you both into the air on a wind that pushed the rain away from you.

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Minutes later Gavin set you both down outside your apartment building, following you inside in silence to ensure you got in okay.  You put your key in the lock and opened the door before turning to Gavin.

‘You should come in a dry off a bit.’  And, without waiting for a reply, you went inside.  Kicking off your shoes you headed to the bathroom and grabbed two clean towels from the shelves, draping one over your own head before going back out to find Gavin standing just inside the closed door.  ‘Here.’  You passed him the towel and headed into your kitchen, planning on making yourself a coffee to help calm your nerves which were even now causing tremors to run through your body.

You were leaning heavily on the countertop waiting for the coffee to drip through when Gavin spoke from behind you.

‘Are you okay?’

You sighed long and loud before replying.  ‘I don’t even know.’

‘You’re not hurt though?’  He must have stepped closer.  His voice was still low but it was nearer now.

‘Not physically.’

‘I know being attacked can be traumatising, you don’t have to be hurt for it to affect you.’

‘You think this is about that dick with his overcompensatingly large knife?’  You looked over your shoulder at him.  ‘Do you want a coffee?’

‘If you don’t mind, but you seem kind of…on edge.  If you’d rather I go…’

‘And you know what else?’  You spun on him.  ‘Why would you let that woman finger fuck you with food?  I happen to know she’s known as the office bike!’

‘Office…bike?’  He looked thoroughly confused by your statement.

‘Yes, the office bike!  As in everyone has had a ride!’

‘A ride…oh.’  Gavin flushed pink all the way up to his ears.

‘If you hadn’t come after me chances were you were onto a good thing.’  You took two mugs out of the cabinet, fixing them automatically to how you both liked it.

‘I wouldn’t call that good.’  Gavin winced.  ‘And what about you?  Listening all doe eyed to a knife wielding maniac all night?’

‘Doe eyed?’  You glared at him.  ‘I was zoning out, he was so boring!’

‘Well, I was force fed so much food I almost gagged!  It’s not my idea of a good time!  I wanted to take you out to dinner tonight and ask you to be my girlfriend!’

‘Pass me the milk!’  You all but screamed it at him, not knowing how else to react to what he had just said other than to finish making the drinks.

‘Here!’  He slammed it down on the countertop beside the cups and for some reason that broke you.

You sputtered a laugh, bowing your head as you tried to keep it in, shoulders shaking with the effort.

‘Emci, I’m sorry.’  Gavin spoke rapidly.  ‘I didn’t mean to upset you, please don’t cry.’  His hand fell on your shoulder and you finally looked up at him, you face a barely kept grin.

‘We are such idiots, Gavin.  Stupid, stupid idiots.’  You shook your head.  ‘If I’d known you wanted to take me out I would never have agreed to stand in for Willow, and if I had known you were going to be there tonight I’d have paired off with you.’

‘Maybe then you could have hand fed me.’  He asked tentatively.

‘And I wouldn’t have an asshole draw a knife on me.’

‘But then he might have cornered some other girl.  At least this way he’s getting reported.’

‘That’s the bright side you’re getting out of this?’  You looked up at him in disbelief.  ‘I just told you I’d rather be with you, and you said you were going to ask me to be your girlfriend, and something about wanting me for more than just a night?’

Gavin flushed cutely as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  ‘I might have said something like that.’

‘Something like that or that exactly?’  You pushed.

‘That exactly.’  Gavin’s blush darkened a few shades.  ‘You aren’t making this easy, are you?’

‘And the whole asking me to be your girlfriend thing?’

‘After tonight I’m not as sure as I was that you’ll say yes.’

You stepped forward and brushed his wet bangs aside.  ‘Why don’t you try me?’

‘Now?’  His eyes went wide.

You shrugged.  ‘I’m all ears, if there’s something you want to ask.’

‘Right.’  He cleared his throat before taking both of your hands in his.  ‘I had this whole speech prepared for how to ask you but I have totally forgotten it, so, here goes: Emci, I’d really like it if you’d consider becoming my girlfriend.’

‘Huh.’  You nodded as he looked at you expectantly.  ‘To the point, sweet, very you.  Having considered it, as you suggest, I would have to say…’

‘Please, Emci, don’t leave me hanging.’  He begged.

‘Umm…yes!’

‘Yes?’  Gavin looked at you in disbelief, his face splitting into a grin when you nodded.  ‘That’s…amazing!  So great!  Can I…can I kiss you?’

You nodded happily and his hand came up to caress your cheek, thumb brushing over your cheekbone as his lips drew closer to yours.  Your heart raced, your pulse loud in your ear.  The butterflies in your stomach took flight as his lips…pressed softly to your cheek.

You looked up at him in surprise as he leant back again, his cheeks redder than you had ever seen them.

‘I don’t want to rush you.’  Was the noble sentiment that came out of his mouth, but that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

‘Oh, Gavin.’  You sighed, before stepping into his personal space, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, and pulling him down for a long, slow kiss.  As you came away from one another you kept your eyes closed for a moment, savouring the tastes and sensations of Gavin’s lips, sighing contentedly as you opened them again.  ‘Totally worth almost getting stabbed for.’

‘Nothing is worth that, and I’m going to teach you some more self defence.  My girlfriend needs to be able to protect herself when I’m not around.’

‘Your girlfriend.’  You pondered it a moment.  ‘You know, I could definitely get used to that.’

Gavin pulled you closer once more, ducking his head for another kiss.  ‘Me too.’

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You were woken early the next morning by the text tone on your phone.  Reaching out you grabbed it and dragged it into the blankets with you, squinting at the bright screen.

Willow:  Well, you were right!  You didn’t leave with anyONE from last night, you left with two!

You still felt warm and fuzzy from Gavin’s goodnight kiss on your balcony and you couldn’t muster the anger you held last night.

MC:  Yeah, and one of those two ended up in jail.

Willow:  Wait, jail?  What happened?!

MC:  We’ll talk at work on Monday.

Willow: 😬

Checking the time, you nuzzled back into your pillow.  Gavin was meeting you for lunch, but until then, you could stay contentedly snug and relive the best parts of last night.

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

A Piece of You: Chapter 4

Pairing: Zen x MC

Synopsis: After the death of his sister, Zen is entrusted with raising her daughter. Six years later and MC has settled into RFA, but she just wants to be back on the roof with the love of her life like she was two years before. But dealing with teenage years, dragged out engagements and a lot of unsaid feelings, you start to lose a piece of you. Or, perhaps, find a piece you had that had been missing the whole time.

Warnings: None!

Song: Things You’ve Never Done - Passenger

⇦ Previous Chapter

***

To be honest, Zen was not having a good day.

Although, he wasn’t having a particularly bad one either, it was just…a day. He aimlessly wandered through the convenience store, idly picking things off the shelves and chucking them into his basket, a gaping emptiness inside him that he couldn’t label as anything other than boredom, and he wasn’t even sure it was that. He had done this routine enough times that he didn’t even need to think about what he was buying anymore, his muscle-memory guiding him to each isle and each section.

On second thought, perhaps he really was just bored. He had the week off work and Gi was at school during the day, and to top it all off, the RFA chatroom had been dry as hell lately. Not even Saeyoung was logging in that often to start drama or blabber on about physics for half an hour. Zen was in desperate need of something, anything to do.

“Hyun, sweetie! How are you doing today?” the older lady at the counter beamed.

The creases of her face were enhanced at the sight of Zen approaching, a kind glint in her eye and a gentle spirit to her. Zen couldn’t help but return her warm smile as he lifted his basket onto the counter, “I’m well, thank you, So-yi. And yourself?”

“Same as ever,” she winked, making Zen chuckle, “How’s our little Gi? Still a little terror?”

“Oh, don’t even get me started. You know she got in trouble last week for hiding her teacher’s keys in the fish tank?”

She guffawed, and Zen chortled despite himself, “That’s a smart little girl right there. Sounds just like her daddy.”

“More like her mother, actually…” Zen’s voice trailed off, his smile faltering a little as the light behind his eyes diminished ever so slightly, but enough for the woman to detect.

So-yi had been the owner of the local convenience store since Zen had moved into the area, and from the moment she laid her eyes on the broken man, the broken child, she knew she would have to look out to for him. When he stumbled in at three in the morning requesting liquor and cigarettes, she would sneak a packet of aspirin and a sandwich into the bag as well. Then when he came in to buy diapers and baby wipes, she would slip some cookies in. Little by little, she started to see some colour in his cheeks and a honesty in his smile as he wished her a good day. She was the only person in his life who knew him when he was Hyun, and stayed to witness him become Zen. She was the closest thing to a mother that he had, and he the closest thing she had to a son. It was perfect timing, for the both of them.

So-yi promptly changed the subject, “Have you seen this?” she said, handing him a flyer from the stack that stood proudly next to her. It appeared to be advertising some jazz band playing at a nearby bar, for one night only. “I’ve seen them before, real good music, I’ll tell ya. Came in last week asking if I’d be willing to sell some tickets here, and you know I’m a sucker for jazz. They’re playing tomorrow night, I think you’d enjoy it.”

Zen considered it for a moment. Gi was going to be with Jaehee tomorrow night - by her request - so he’d just be home alone anyway. And maybe…if he asked…

“Sure, sounds like a fun evening,” he looked down to his feet, his shoelaces suddenly very intriguing to him, “Can I get two, please?”

So-yi’s smirk widened, and she didn’t even bother to hide it, “Planning to take someone special?”

He returned the grin in amusement, “Calm down, So-yi. It’s not like that.”

She handed Zen the tickets along with his bag, shooting him a mischievous look, “Mmhmm, okay then. Well, I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

Zen rolled his eyes playfully, “There’ll be nothing to hear about. She’s just a good friend,” he called over his shoulder, waving her goodbye as he left the store. Her smile grew wider.

Oh to be young, So-yi thought to herself. Oh to be so naive.

***

Zen pulled up to the school just as kids in tutus started to filter out the doors, darting towards open arms and stumbling into their parent’s embrace. He smiled fondly, getting out of the car and making his way to find his own little monster.

“Daddy!”

Zen didn’t even have time to turn around when Gi threw herself at him, almost toppling him over, though he managed to save himself with an outstretched arm before he smacked against the concrete. He clutched his chest in feign defeat, crying out dramatically as Gi clambered off, “Oh, the beast has slain me. I will never recover, I am mortally wounded!”

“Dad, stop, you’re not at work right now,’ she tutted, crossing her arms, “Such a drama queen.”

“You’re no fun,” he teased, and she stuck out her tongue in response. “How was ballet?” he asked, grabbing her hand as he started to lead her back to the car, only to be stopped by a tap on his shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you Gi’s guardian?”

Zen’s mouth twitched as he swivelled around, carefully watching Gi in the corner of his eye. She seemed unfazed. Good. “I’m Gi’s father, yes. Is there something I can help you with?”

“Oh yes, of course. My mistake,” she said flatly and turned to the young girl, “Gi, why don’t you go and play whilst I have a quick chat with your dad? It’ll only take a moment.”

Gi looked to Zen and he gave her a subtle nod, an indication for her to go. She ran off excitedly, and Zen started to feel a tad defensive about the situation, “So, what did you need to talk to me about?”

They sat down on a nearby bench in the playground, the teacher crossing her legs and her chin stuck out. She eyed him, almost scrutinisingly as she began to talk, “I wanted to talk to you regarding some…concerns I have about Gi’s progress and behaviour.”

“Right,” Zen began, attempting to keep his expression neutral, “What are these concerns exactly?”

“Well, whilst we always value enthusiasm and freedom of expression, her energy could be considered as, how should I phrase this…uncivilised at times. Of course, we want to encourage our students to embrace their passions, and we want her to continue to dance.

He clenched his jaw and counted to ten, trying with all his might to stay calm. It wasn’t working, “Okay. With all do respect, if you feel that her dancing is, as you say, ‘uncivilised’, then isn’t your job to teach her the ‘correct’ way of ballet?”

If she was caught off-guard by Zen’s bluntness, then she did a brilliant job of hiding it, “There’s only so much we can teach her, Mr Ryu. And any how, we believe that the problems are rooted further than just her lessons.”

“I want to know exactly what you mean by that.”

“Ballet is about grace and precision, there is a femininity to it, whereas Gi currently demonstrates a rather wild and boisterous approach. Gi is at an age where her behaviour is heavily effected by her environment, and therefore we feel that this behaviour may have something to do with her slightly wilder upbringing and life at home-“

Zen had stood up now, fists clenched and breaths staggered, “This is ridiculous, Gi is six years old. If she enjoys to dance, then for Christ’s sake just let her dance her way. This isn’t the Royal Ballet. She is a child.”

“A child with incredible potential, Mr Ryu,” she explained evenly, which did nothing to calm Zen’s vexation, “I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t think it mattered. Gi is not like any student I’ve taught before. She has an immense athleticism, and with some discipline, I have faith that she will go far with her ballet. She is capable of great things.”

“I’ve heard enough, you lost me when you brought her home-life into this. You have no right to make comments on her ‘wild’ upbringing. Does she have a typical upbringing? No. Because guess what, it’s pretty damn hard to achieve ‘normal’ when her mother is dead and her biological father is nowhere to be found. Mind your own damn business,” he spat, already walking towards Gi, picking her up and storming to the car.

The drive was eerily quiet, only the sound of Zen’s heavy breaths could be heard as Gi silently watched out the window, blissfully unaware of the event from just before. Zen’s hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white, and his teeth were gnawing on his bottom lip in an attempt to prevent himself from shouting his anger at the top of his lungs. He was absolutely fuming.

It had gone from ‘just a day’ to a bad day real quick. He needed to calm down.

He needed to call her.

***

The coffee shop was bustling when MC joined Zen, relief instantly washing over him as he caught a glimpse of her through the glass door. They ordered their drinks, and they settled down at a little table in the corner, Zen’s hands still shaking slightly as he placed his cup down.

For the first few minutes, MC remained quiet. She knew by now that when Zen needed to talk, he really needed to think. So she sipped on her coffee whilst she patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts, and prepared herself to give him her undivided attention. He needed to be heard, so she needed to listen.

As soon as he opened his mouth, the words came tumbling out in an exasperated mess. MC was pretty experienced with Zen’s emotions at this point, but today she could tell that something had really hit a nerve with him. He was passionate with his explanation, but MC also clocked a despair in his voice, an ache in his eyes. Zen wasn’t just angry, he was hurt.

“She just…like what does that have to do with anything? Who has a meeting about a student’s home-life when the child seems perfectly happy at school?” he asked defeatedly, his fingers fiddling with the handle of his cup, “Why can’t they just let her do ballet her way if that’s what she wants.”

MC nodded along, reviewing the situation as she took another sip of her drink, “Well, is it what she wants?” Zen eyed her curiously, so she continued, “You said that the problem was that she is incapable of being elegant and graceful when dancing, but is she incapable or is she unwilling?”

Zen looked down into his now empty cup as he considered MC’s words. He had sat in on many of Gi’s classes, and whilst she always seemed satisfied after class ended, she seemed…frustrated during it. Zen always thought it was because she couldn’t get the moves right, but now he wondered if there was something else at play, “I guess she does always appear discouraged during her lessons, like she’s being held back. But she adores dance, it’s all she talks about. She always says that she likes to move with the music, but ballet just seems too restricting. She’s tried other kinds of dance but she likes how ‘pretty’ ballet is…”

“Has she ever considered figure skating?”

Zen quirked an eyebrow. MC chuckled, “Figure skating. She’ll get to use her power and athleticism so she won’t feel held back, but then she can still incorporate the elegance and ‘prettiness’ of ballet. There’s an ice rink that just opened nearby, you should let her give it a go.”

“I don’t know…I don’t know if it’s best to just stop it all together.” MC gave him a glare. “I just don’t want her to end up like her teacher, MC. She’s so..odd!”

MC placed down her cup and leaned forward on the table, waiting for Zen to focus on her, “Zen, I think it was odd that she brought that up as well, but don’t you think she did it because  she was desperate? Because she knew that Gi was special? Can you not at least let her try it? You never know, she might surprise you.”

Zen sighed, recognising that MC was right. She very well might be a natural, and even if she wasn’t, as least she tried. “Okay, I’ll bring it up with her. Thank you, MC.”

MC merely smiled and dipped her head, clearly not understanding how loaded that ‘thank you’ was.

They continued to chat casually for a while, when Zen quickly had a realisation, “Oh! I meant to ask you, are you free tomorrow night?”

MC’s face dropped a little, a response that was small enough to go unnoticed anyone, but not small enough to go unnoticed by Zen, “I’m sorry, I have plans with Chul tomorrow night.”

Of course, how could he forget? Obviously he couldn’t just assume that she would available any night of the week anymore. She was in a relationship. She was busy.

The dull ache he felt in his chest surprised him, a disappointment that he couldn’t have anticipated. This was the first time that she had other plans, that she didn’t have time for him. Had he taken her company for granted? Had he taken her for granted? Was this, after all they had, the beginning of the end?

But, the end of what, exactly?

“Ah, no worries,” Zen replied easily, his acting skills being put to good use, “It was nothing, just wanted to hang out. How are things going with Chul anyway?”

“Good,” she responded, a smile playing on her lips and her eyes regaining a bit of their usual glimmer, “Really good.”

“I’m glad,” he said and felt a pang of guilt, because Zen didn’t like to lie, and he certainly didn’t like to lie to MC. But he was going to have to get used to it.

The following evening Zen went back to the convenience store, his best shirt on and the two tickets in hand. So-yi watched him curiously, a melancholic expression on her face. Zen walked up to the counter, “Would you like to come with me?”

She smiled sympathetically at him as she mentally connected the dots, “Of course, sweetie. I get off my shift in five minutes. I’ll meet you outside.”

And so they strolled to the bar together, So-yi holding onto Zen’s arm as they laughed and sang through the street. Not many men his age wanted to spend their Friday night with a little old lady like her, but Zen wasn’t most men, which made So-yi’s heart ache a little more for him. He deserved the world.

She didn’t ask about the girl, because she knew that, even if he hadn’t realised it yet, she was someone special, and she had said no.

She’ll come around, So-yi thought.

They always do in the end.

***

“Saeran, come look at this.”

Saeran strolled over to the couch, milkshake in one hand and a soda in the other. Chucking the can to Saeyoung he sat next to him to get a good view of the laptop that was balanced on his twin’s knees, examining the screen as his eyebrows furrowed, “What is this?”

“I-uh…may have done a background check on Chul.”

Saeran sighed, giving his brother a pointed look, “You know MC told you not to. She’s gonna kill you.”

“I know. I know I wasn’t meant to but I just wanted to be sure and-“

“Wait, is this a criminal record?”

Saeran studied the document, taking in every detail, and his heart dropped when a certain set of words caught his eye.

REASON FOR ARREST: Assault

“It says in his notes that he got into a fight at a bar,” Saeyoung added gently, cautious of Saeran’s reaction, “In his statement he said that it was self-defence-“

“They’re together right now, correct?” Saeran said smoothly.

“Um, yeah. MC said they were going ice-skating, but why do you-“

“I’m going out. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Saeran, you can’t just go and interrogate or beat up the guy. We don’t even know what happened.”

“I’m not going to, I just need to see for myself that he’s okay for MC.”

Saeran didn’t wait for Saeyoung’s reply, instead he just put his hood over his head and marched out the door, missing the look of pure defeat on his brother’s face.

It took him less than half the time it usually took to reach his destination, but as soon as Saeran walked through the automatic doors of the ice-rink, he started his search.

They weren’t in the lobby, and they weren’t in the cafe, so they must still be on the ice. He managed to sneak his way onto the rink without going to the front desk, because of course he could. Saeran had no idea how much longer MC and Chul were going to be there, and he definitely didn’t want them to catch him in the foyer. So, sneaking in it was.

Which, though he would never admit, he found more fun anyway.

After only a few seconds of glancing over the other skaters, his eyes landed on the couple. He was moments away from marching over to them to have a little chat with Chul, but was halted by one thing.

MC’s face.

Saeran had never seen her face so bright, so glowing. Not even when she bought her new apartment, not even on her birthday. Not even when she was with Zen.

Her smile met her eyes, free of restraint and absolutely beaming. And Chul looked the same way, but he was completely enraptured by her, as if he was hanging on to her every word like she was a lifeline to him. They looked happy. They looked in love.

And nobody, especially not Saeran, would ever make that look on MC’s face disappear when it was as rare as rubies. Who was he to judge a man based on his past, anyway? Saeran didn’t know Chul’s story, nor did he know the Chul in front of him particularly well, but he would give him a chance, just like MC had given Saeran a chance.

He’d tell Saeyoung not to worry, but to keep a watchful eye. Because yes, Chul gave MC a spark that had nearly died out, but when there is a spark sometimes it’s hard to see the smoke; and when there’s smoke, there’s fire.

***

Masterlist || Next Chapter

[zertzertzhang]

I Need a Hero Chapter One

Synospis: Seen as the demon bastard of his village, Nezha is sent on a quest to redeem his character. It was supposed to be simple. Rescue the maiden, marry her off to the viceroy, collect community service points, and done. He really didn't think one mission alone was all that it took to unravel his past, present, and future like an onion. When a cursed princess swamps him under a horde of secrets, he is faced with two choices; accept fate...or fight it.*A story loosely (or largely) based on good ol' Shrek with some other influences sprinkled here and there for giggles.

Once upon a time, in a palace far, far away, lived a maiden. Said to be the fairest of her kingdom, she was doomed to spend twenty years in solitude, locked away from all life. A curse was placed upon her, only to be broken by true love's first kiss.

If she was not saved by her twentieth birthday, then her soul would be claimed by the Dragon Lord of the East Sea.

Her true face was never seen by anyone, as the tower was guarded by a terrible dragon.

Many have tried to free her from this dreadful prison, from the warriors of the state to the princes of Agrabah. None prevailed.

Thus the maiden waited in her chambers, in the highest room of the tallest pagoda, still waiting for her true love...And true love's first kiss-

"What a load of bull!"

Nezha busted out laughing. It was a bitter sound that bounced off the walls, traveling at least half a corridor down the hall.

An ear-grating tear echoed from the rooms of Li Manor as a frustrated shout followed just seconds after.

The double doors flew open with a terrifying bang, revealing the youngest young master storming around his room in a fit of disbelief.

"People still read this shit?!" Nezha forced a harsh laugh that scraped at the butler's eardrums. "Bring me better reading material next time or else I'll send you flying to the nine levels of hell and back!"

His pointed finger at one of the butlers was enough to send the latter teetering over the edge of an epileptic seizure.

The poor butler could only sputter as he tried every method in the book to lessen his suffering "Y-yes! Young master! I apologize for my transgression! Next time-"

"There's no next time!" Nezha fumed. "One more stupid story from you and I'll take my leave to the village where I can actually have fun!"

A lopsided grin broke across Nezha's face while he uttered the last words, as if just thinking about seeing the horrified faces of the villagers could serve as ample entertainment. The dimwitted guards by the manor would be no match for him if he really wanted to leave.

It would seem that it was inevitable for a run in with the law that day. Paying no attention to the stuttering servant next to him, Nezha frowned, debating the pros and cons over leaving right then and there.

"Young master," the butler started, "how would you like to-"

Nezha interrupted with a swift wave of a hand. "Scram already!"

To add to his point, the young man snapped his gaze to the quivering butler, scowling for good measure. It worked, as expected.

The older man scrambled backwards, squeaking for mercy. But he didn't need to go far, for the subject of his terror had long left the spot where he had originally stood. Nezha was on the rooftops in a blink of an eye.

"W-wait!" The butler tried to climb over the decorative stones, only to find himself hanging by the sides of the ledge like a helpless kitten. "Where are you going, young master?!"

At the sight of such, Nezha smirked. He made no attempt to help the butler up to his level.

"You gotta try harder than that."

"But you can't go out the manor!" the butler wailed. "Master Li has specific orders that you-"

"Stay in for the rest of your life," Nezha cut in for the upteenth time. "I heard it the first time."

Cracking his knuckles, he let out an obnoxious yawn before looking down at the latter with utmost boredom. "But anyways, I'll see ya later!"

The mischievous smile never left his face as he hopped down from his perch, disappearing from the butler's vision just as fast as he did before.

It was futile to attempt to control Nezha, especially now that he had grown right into his adolescent form. Had it been a year earlier he would've still been a child no older than eight. Even then, the demon child was a living nightmare, but at least he could be consoled with a few magical trinkets.

The Nezha now was a bottle of raging hormones a few buttons away from implosion. His butler didn't want to entertain the idea of some unsuspecting villager accidentally triggering his fury, thus adding more to the Li Family's monthly bill.

There was still more renovation needed for the living room. Nezha had created a hole right in the middle of Li Manor square during one of his 'experiments'. And that alone sucked hundreds of pounds of gold into construction fees.

Putting two and two together, the butler slapped a hand over his hand, inches away from a mental breakdown. He had to come up with an excuse as to how he let Nezha slip away.

He had to save his own ass at least.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Not a lot of effort went into devising a plan to escape the manor. Hell, the word 'escape' never registered in Nezha's head over the two years since he began his daily avoidance from the manor servants.

In a second's time, he could turn himself into a maid. So a maid he did turn himself to.

With the excuse of buying the daily grocery, Nezha had no trouble in slipping past the manor guards. The duo of metallic chumps had no doubts, lifting the spell between the doors just enough for the disguised maid out the building.

If he could, Nezha would've been on the floor convulsing with laughter by now. There was nothing more hilarious than repeatedly fooling the same people around him with the same tricks every time, and still getting away with it.

Not bothering with another extra thought, Nezha made a beeline towards the main entrance of Chentang Pass.

The fun was just getting started.

Crunch.

His feet squandered a pitiful branch below him with a brittle snap. Nezha didn't bother with his usual surreptitious style of tormenting the villagers. Weeks of the same old pop and scream had taken to the boring side for him.

He wanted something fresh.

Like he predicted, heads snapped in his direction the moment his bare foot stepped into the street market. The stares from people were like an automatic feature the town had inserted for him.

All sounds of life came to a screeching halt in his presence. Even the leaves seemed like they had minds of their own and stopped rustling as soon as Nezha popped up.

Dead silence washed across the mass, readying its ugly fingers around their necks, urging them to scream.

The way his tendons popped as his slender fingers clenched to fists sounded akin to a bone-crusher readying himself for a new victim. It was of no help that the young man's inhuman mark glowed with his excitement.

Before Nezha, a man towards the front of the market opened his mouth. His distorted face combined with the growing tint of purple on his cheeks was a good indicator of the things that were about to spout from his lips.

It's the demon! Run for your lives! Get away!

Nezha waved lazily at them, their old scripts running through his head like a broken record. It was impossible to get them to think of something more enticing to say about his grand entrance.

For a moment, Nezha actually feared that the illiterates before him could only speak those three phrases. Crossing his arms, he allowed the grin on his lips to morph into a wolfish smile.

"You all know the drill right?" Nezha beat the man to the talking punch. "I don't need to say more than I have to."

The unified gasp was a good indicator that they got the message. Nezha scoffed.

"One."

All at once, sound rushed back to the village as screams shot through the air like a needle piercing through flesh. Under the dust of everyone shuffling at the same time, civilians stepped over one another in a frenzied attempt to hurl themselves into the nearest shelter they could find.

Soon, it was every man for himself. No place was barred from being taken up by bodies: pots, cabinets, closets, haystacks, and coffins, too.

"Four."

If the squawking chickens and kicking cows weren't a sight enough, a few villagers had somehow come to the conclusion that as long as they couldn't see him, then he couldn't see them.

"Eight."

There were times when Nezha wanted so desperately to capture the scene before him in his mind and replay it by himself in his room for shits and giggles. He wanted to memorize each and every wrinkle of terror everyone made, taking in the affects he could have on them.

"Ten." He uttered the last number with soft delicacy, but anyone with a brain could hear the restrained agitation seeping under the words.

Nezha was losing patience. Flinging an apple onto the head of a still running man, he marked the beginning of hide-and-seek with a screech from the villager.

The man skidded onto the ground in a thud, shivering uncontrollably. Something about the way he curled up into a ball, avoiding eye contact with him irked Nezha.

A grown ass man can't be that much of a coward?! I didn't even throw that hard!

Nezha scowled, passing the fallen civilian without as much as another glance.

He shouted into the void, "I hope everyone's gonna try harder than this! Ready or not, here I come!"

It was too easy; some failed to cover their mouths as they breathed in and out like a dragon in battle. Despite going on about it for over two years, the village never improved.

There was no point for Nezha to use his heightened senses to scope out the 'players'. They might as well hold up a sign that scribbled 'I'm right here!' at that point. Running finger along the cement walls in a haphazard manner, he whistled a jolly tune too festive for the tension around him,

"Come out, come out wherever you are!" Nezha called. Lifting the lid off of an empty wine pot, he feigned surprise at the lack of shrieks.

He could hear the one person in the next pot over practically whimpering under their cover. The fear must've been great enough for the entire container to shake.

Nezha hummed to himself as he stepped towards the pot, twirling a branch in his hands. With a languid drag, his feet thudded against the dirt ground with emphasized force. A tiny squeak echoed from the container, officially giving away to the person within.

"Hmm." Nezha stroked the other pots besides it almost lovingly. "Now where did ya go?"

Fwip. The pot second to the left was slapped away. Each smash of a china elicited a shriek. If Nezha had a third eye, he swore he would see the fear radiating in the last pot of the bunch.

His smile grew; playtime was over now.

Reaching over, Nezha wrapped his fingers over the handles, breathing in the anticipated rush of adrenaline the shear horror from the man would bring.

Lips peeling back to reveal sharp canines, the young man readied his most terrifying expression. At the same time, the villager inside prepared himself to beg for mercy.

Funny enough, it would appear that his prayers were answered, because the lid never opened.

Instead, Nezha's eyes were glued to the posters nailed onto the columns over his head. The stark contrast of red against white caught his attention. A warrant of some kind had been posted all over the town square.

It had to be fresh; the last time he had been in Chentang's center, Nezha didn't notice such a thing. Littering the walls of restaurants and stands, the warrants were hard to miss.

Without a second thought, Nezha's arm shot out and tore off a poster. Even the ink smelled like it had just been stamped onto the paper.

"Viceroy of Chentang calls for any brave warrior willing to rescue his bride, the maiden of the East Sea Pagoda. If successful, the reward of one hundred thousand taels of gold and twenty acres of land..." Nezha mumbled out the information in a string of low growls.

Pathetic.

In a huff, he crumpled the paper, tossing it aside. It sounded like some cheesy bedtime story plastered into reality, and he couldn't help but remember the stupid fairytale he'd read earlier in the morning.

As much as Nezha appreciated the celestial aspects of life, sappy legends were very much barf-inducing, real or not. He had seen enough men who forced others to fight their own battles to not give a hoot for this dime a dozen opportunity.

Agitation spiked through his veins. He realized he wasted a good minute of his time mulling over a poster. It almost derailed him from his original plans. Speaking of which...

Nezha chuckled, eyes zoning back to the quivering pot next to him. Throwing all thoughts of the fairytale out the window, he cracked his knuckles.

There was still a town left to scare.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Li-Jing's voice boomed over the courtyard, threatening to take down trees had he been any louder. The deep baritone made matters worse, echoing off the buildings like an angry thunder god seconds away from blasting lightning to the ground.

"I am about done with you!"

The servants scurried back to their quarters, not bothering to deliver dinner. Though, it didn't sound like the Li Family was hungry either.

Clustered around the mess of a room, Li-Jing and Lady Yin were currently looming over a lounging Nezha, who clearly wasn't going to pretend to give them an audience.

"What must I say to make you obey me?" Li-Jing demanded. "The village's tolerance of you is waning! One more misshape and they'll be at your neck!"

The threat made no difference in aiding their argument. If anything, the fine lines between Nezha's brows creased deeper, forming harsh valleys contorting his face in the most horrifying way possible.

He snapped, "And why do I care? That's what they said last time. If they really had the guts, they'd be dead by now."

Venomous abhorrence spewed from the youth, matching the volume of his father's with no trouble.

Li-Jing narrowed his eyes, balling his fists at his sides.

Not thrilled to see another fistfight break out, Lady Yin rested a hand against his back, trying desperately to reel her husband back from the land of rage.

The general was at his limits. In spite of all the training with Taiyi in the past two years, the volatile nature never left Nezha.

Reality crushed Li-Jing with an insufferable amount of pressure that he swore his back would break if it got any worse.

"You're not helping!" the general argued. "The more you retaliate, the more monsters you have to slay to appease them. You'll be back in square one."

Out of everything Li-Jing said, one of the words seemed to trigger Nezha, because the latter was up in his father's face in a flash, teeth baring like a wild boar beaten to a corner.

"So what," Nezha hissed through gritted teeth. "That's for me and me only! I'm not slaying monsters to make them happy. Those ingrates could rot for all I care!"

It didn't take a grand scholar to see that Li-Jing wanted to slam his own head against the poles.

Chen-Tang's general, held to the highest standard of all citizens, couldn't even control his own son. It wasn't clear if the red tint on his cheeks was from anger or embarrassment.

Lady Yin, on the other hand, didn't appear to give up. "Please, Nezha. I'll stay with you longer tomorrow. Just promise mother you won't go out like that again."

Nezha let out a bitter chuckle. Her consolidation had long lost its meaning to him. After the thirtieth time she failed her promise, he stopped counting. The efforts to calm him only served as an insult to his wounds.

"I wouldn't dream of holding you back," Nezha slurred. "Save your pity party for next time."

He rose to excuse himself, but the arm of his father appeared in his way, blocking the exit. Nezha did a double-take, but he could feel the smoldering indignation rising at incredible speed.

"That's not gonna stop me."

Li-Jing sighed. "Son, I understand your frustrations. But what happened today happened, and we need to do something about it."

"No we don't." Adamancy was Nezha's strong suit.

"I know you better than you'd think," his father retorted. "You want them to accept you. But every time some villager gets to you, you go right back to your old self. It's not doing favors for any of us. We only want you to be happy. And you do, too. But you know you won't get any better by terrorizing them."

A slight twitch at the corners of Nezha's lips was a bigger sign than all else. He was listening, albeit begrudgingly.

Exhaling in relief, Li-Jing took the silent invitation to go on. At least he had a foot in the door now.

"There might be a few assignments we could give you," he continued. "They're not boring for sure. You might have to get physical with a few demons, though. But it could come in handy for training."

At the sound of demons, Nezha made a rigid turn towards his father, his pointed ears stood at attention. As long as he had the chance to put his two-years worth of training to work, anything was negotiable.

Li-Jing knew he had his son's full interest. He just had to give one more nudge and-

Bang!

A crash exploded by the doors, slapping all three Li's from their stare-down. Li-Jing groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. They had everything smoothed over, inches away from calming Nezha, and this motherf- just had to ruin it.

The general whipped his gaze to the dusty entrance, mouth open to unleash a slew of grievances, before his eyes widened at the sight of the guest.

Standing over the crumbles of what was left of the gates, Taiyi stumbled over his two left feet, mumbling something about wine and pretty women.

Nezha couldn't roll his eyes any harder. His master was undoubtedly drunk over his head, maybe even rejected by a few girls on the streets. The scene before him was too familiar.

Huffing, he glared. "Get lost, old geezer. I'm in the middle of something."

Taiyi ignored his demand, instead sauntering over in a giddy fashion like he just discovered the next best thing.

"Yohohoho!" The stench of alcohol escaped from the deity's mouth, gagging the poor audience around him. "Found the next adventure for ya, boy! I Overheard tha 'hole thing back there!"

Nezha growled. "You could've at least knocked!"

Taiyi snorted, patting his beer belly. "Can't a retired model relive his catwalk entrance?"

If he thought that was supposed to be funny, then he flopped hard. Nezha's previous agitation was on the rise once more, this time with full force.

"Spit it out already, old man! Can't you see I'm busy?!"

"Jeez," Taiyi complained. "Alright, alright! I found the perfect mission to repair your majesty's tarnished reputation, you little ingrate."

The deity grounded the last words in a whisper, trying but obviously failing to hide his distaste. Nezha's enhanced hearing caught it without a problem.

In light of his hammered state, Nezha stayed silent despite feeling a vein pop. There was always another day to light Taiyi's pants on fire.

"Spit. It. Out," he grounded.

Taiyi seemed to find amusement in twirling Nezha's mood, opting to wag a finger in front of the youth's face. The god knew his ass was going to pay for it later, but the petty in him had to take the opportunity.

Fumbling through his many pockets, Taiyi's face lit up with child-like jubilation at the sound of crinkling paper.

Nezha was not prepared to have a smelly and stained piece of parchment shoved into his face. He was sure if Taiyi had another pot of alcohol, he would've straight up crashed into him instead.

His master wiggled his caterpillar of a brow.

"Ya interested in some dragonslayin'?"

It took Nezha a moment to come back down to Earth. He snatched the paper, scowling at the deity before him. Focusing on the words of the parchment, the young man almost coughed blood at the sudden recognition.

It was the warrant for the princess.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: QUICK! Somebody insert Allstar in the scene! ;)

[scullyfemme]

Timing -- Ch. 3

“You’re not Mulder.”

Dreamland time baby!!! 

Tagging @today-in-fic​ | Read it on Ao3

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---

“Is this supposed to be a date?” Scully cocked a brow at the dusty Nevada road they were driving down. “You know Kersh will have our asses if he finds out about this.”

“Depends on if you want this to be a date,” he ignored the second half of what she’d said. They passed a mile marker. “Two more miles to go.”

“I’m all a-tingle,” She deadpanned.

She asked about his supposed “source,” who he claimed worked at Area 51, and she found herself thinking about his constant search for proof. For truth. Before they had embarked on this new phase of their relationship, it had started to drain her. But everything had a slightly new feeling to it now that they were together. Like when you finally clean off an old pair of earrings or shine an old pair of shoes and realize how much potential they’d had. To be honest, she was a bit excited to be out on the road with Mulder again like this, though she refused to let him know that. They hadn’t worked anything resembling an X-File in a while.

Still, her mind wandered to thoughts about the people who lived near here. Raising families and buying homes while they drove on, endlessly.

Will that ever be us?

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

She realized she’d spoken out loud. “I mean, uh- There are people who live around here. People who live normal lives. Nine-to-five jobs and a cookie-cutter house with a white picket fence and-” she stopped herself from mentioning kids, not wanting to re-open that wound for a casual conversation.

He glanced over at her. “Are you saying you want a nine-to-five job and a cookie-cutter-”

“No, no,” She cut him off, shaking her head. She couldn’t imagine a life in suburbia. “I just mean, like...settling down,” she sighed. “Something resembling a normal life.”

“Well, this is a normal life,” He argued. Seeing her look, he continued. “Normal for us, at least.”

“That’s true,” She said. They didn’t really have lives that lent to normalcy.

“But if you want something normal, then we can try something normal,” He said, reaching over and taking her hand in his, resting them on the center console. “What is it you want? The white picket fence? I can get one for my apartment, but I don’t know where I’ll put it.”

She smiled, her mind slightly more at ease. He’d made a joke, but she knew his sentiment was real. It had always been clear that that sort of life didn’t quite fit him, but he’d be willing to try it. For her.

The sound of tires squealing and the blinding headlights streaming through the car disrupted their moment, and they pulled their hands apart.

“Mulder.”

“I don’t know if we’re going to meet that crackpot after all.”

---

“Come on, Mulder, let’s go,” She tugged on his sleeve, shooting a glare at the man who had confronted them, who had an odd look on his face.

Mulder was uncharacteristically quiet as they drove away, and Scully repeatedly glanced over at him. She didn’t say anything, assuming that he was just stewing about not being able to meet his contact.

When they pulled up to the gas station, she decided to try to pull him out of his funk. “Are you okay, Mulder?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, you haven’t said anything since we left those men on the highway. Is something wrong?”

“I’m fine. Gas cap’s on your side.”

She frowned. He always got the gas. He’d even once made a joke about chivalry while she argued that pumping gas was hardly chivalrous. “Okay...if you don’t wanna talk about it.” She got out and started pumping the gas. 

Still in the car, Mulder turned the radio on, fiddling with the dial. Her phone rang, slightly muffled by the noise and the confines of the car.

“Mulder?” She called through the window. He didn’t hear her. “Mulder.” She repeated.

No response. Was he ignoring her? Maybe he just couldn’t hear her. She closed her eyes with a sigh of frustration, then left the pump to open the door and get her phone. The music blasted out of the car at deafening levels, but she got in anyway.

“Hello?” She asked, but couldn’t hear over the radio. Her lips pursed, she reached over and turned it down. “Hello?” No response. Whoever was on the other end had hung up. “Ugh.” She hung up and got back out of the car.

“Oh, Dana?” Mulder leaned over. “Want to pick me up a pack of Morleys please?”

Dana? “Since when do you smoke?” She eyed him with doubt. Was this some sort of joke?

He heaved a sigh. “Well, you’re not gonna be a Nazi about it, are you?”

The question genuinely stunned her and she didn’t know how to respond. Slamming the door shut, she went inside, lost in her thoughts. 

Mulder didn’t smoke. He’d never smoked. In fact, they’d had multiple conversations where they’d talked about how neither one could even stand the smell of cigarettes after all their dealings with the Cancer Man. So why did he request a pack? He hadn’t seemed any more stressed than usual or anything, so she didn’t understand what could be driving him to smoke.

She recalled their conversation in the car. Was that it? Had her questions about normalcy set him off? He’d seemed receptive enough to it at the time. Maybe it was actually bothering him and he was lashing out in some weird way, trying to push her away before she could ask about it again.

She pursed her lips, feeling a flash of anger. She put back the bag of sunflower seeds she’d grabbed on instinct and stalked out without getting the cigarettes. If he wanted to be a child and not talk about what was wrong, so be it. But she wasn’t going to encourage him. When she got back in the car, Mulder looked over at her expectantly.

“They were out,” She said shortly as she buckled in.

“Of Morleys?”

She shrugged, keeping her eyes forward. She was very clearly mad at him and he knew her well enough to pick up on that, but for some reason, he didn’t seem to. Or if he did, he didn’t say anything.

They drove for a while before she turned to him. “Mulder, if I said something that upset you-”

“God, this again?” He looked at her as if disgusted. “I told you I’m fine, Dana. Jeez, you’re just like my wife.”

“Excuse me?”

A panicked look crossed his face. “A wife,” He corrected. “You’re like a wife.”

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but she had no words. So that  was  what this was about. One discussion about settling down and he was pushing her away. She hadn’t even said anything about getting married. So much for no regrets.

Scully had half a mind to yell at him, to argue with him. But she couldn’t bring herself to. She didn’t want him to know just how hurt she was, so she sat back in her seat and sulked, staring silently out of her window for the rest of the drive.

---

“‘I’d give you his name if I had it?’” Scully repeated Mulder’s words back to him in an incredulous tone. Their meeting hadn’t gone at all like she’d expected it to. “Whatever happened to protecting our contacts? Protecting our work?”

He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “He asked. Hang on a second.”

She watched in disbelief as he went over to chat up Kersh’s assistant. Right in front of her. Scully stood up to her full height in indignation, her lips pressed in a thin line. She’d hoped that whatever streak of pettiness Mulder had displayed last night would be gone by now so that they could have a proper discussion about it, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

He noticed her anger this time as he got back to her. “What?”

“What is going on with you?” She couldn’t help but ask, despite not wanting to discuss this at work.

Mulder scoffed. “Will you please stop trying to pick a fight with me?”

“Mulder, you are acting bizarre!” She hissed.

He turned and looked back at Kersh’s assistant through the office windows, then looked back at her with a gloating smile. “Jealous?” He asked, then slapped her ass before walking off.

Scully’s jaw dropped in shock. Her face burned a bright red with the amount of embarrassment and anger she felt. Her hands curled into fists; she was absolutely fuming now, and she’d had it with him. Once they were off work, she was going to confront him. She might even need her gun.

She angrily chewed her lip as she sat at her desk, occasionally looking up to glare at Mulder as he played some golfing game on his computer. It was strange that he was playing a game at work, much less a golf game, but she couldn’t bring herself to care about that right now.

Her phone rang. “Scully,” She answered.

“Oh thank goodness. Scully, it’s me.”

She frowned. The phrase was a familiar one; she’d heard it from Mulder countless times. But Mulder was right there. And this voice didn’t sound familiar.

“I’m sorry, who is this?”

“It’s me, Mulder.”

“Mulder?” From his desk, Mulder waved dismissively, clearly thinking she was talking to him.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t call sooner," the voice continued. "Look, something really weird happened last night when that UFO passed over us.”

“UFO?” Her frown deepened. That was certainly a very Mulder thing to say, but there hadn’t been a UFO last night. And again, Mulder was right there.

“You don’t remember?” He asked. “You don’t remember. Okay, the man that you’re with, that’s not me. His name is Morris Fletcher. He’s an Area 51 employee.”

“Morris Fletcher,” She repeated as she wrote the name down. A thought crossed her mind. Was this Mulder’s contact? But why would he call her? And why would he claim to be Mulder? She considered getting Mulder’s attention so he could listen in on the call and let her know, but she decided against it. If he could be petty, so could she.

“That’s right.” The man said. “Everyone else seems to think that I’m him, but I’m not. I’m me. I’m Mulder.”

“Look,” She sighed. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but-”

“It’s not a game, Scully, I can prove it. I-” He stopped and was silent for a moment. “Well, I don’t know if this is a secure line. I don’t want to say anything too risky. Are you telling me that Mor- that Mulder hasn’t been acting weird?”

She opened her mouth to defend him on instinct but realized she didn’t have any defense. He had been acting weird. “Well, he-” She stammered, then turned in her chair to prevent Mulder from hearing her. “He, uh, he asked for cigarettes. And...flirted with some woman,” She added under her breath, unable to believe she was confiding in this random man.

“Flirted?” The man sounded disgusted. “See, Scully? I would never do that, you know that. First of all, I wouldn’t want to, especially not now. And second of all, I know you’d probably murder me for that.”

She hesitated. He was right, and it seemed like he was alluding to her and Mulder’s relationship with his comments. But it was just too crazy to believe. “I don’t know…”

The man sighed. “Scully, I love you, but things would be a lot easier if you just believed me sometimes. Look, just get out here as soon as you can, and I’ll prove it to you. I promise.”

I love you? “W- How will I get in touch with you?”

“You won’t. I’ll get in touch with you.” He hung up.

Scully hung up too, staring at the name she’d written down. Morris Fletcher. She’d look him up and have that call traced.

Mulder turned back to her. “Who was that?”

She shot him a glare. “None of your business.”

“Jeez, lady.” Mulder reclined back in his chair. “What’s got your panties in a twist?”

Scully shot up from her seat, fully intending to lash out at him, but stopped when a few of their desk neighbors looked up at her in surprise. She remembered where she was. Smoothing down her skirt, she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, needing to cool off.

---

At the sight of Kersh’s assistant leaving Mulder’s apartment (giving Scully a catty look, to boot), she’d decided it was time to commit murder. She could excuse some of his behavior as weird immature lashing out because he was uncomfortable, but this was taking it way too far. She rapped at his door.

“Just can’t get enough, can you?” His voice sounded from inside.

She fumed at his audacity. “It’s me.”

The door opened and Mulder stood just inside, a cigarette dangling from his mouth and his shirt half off. He looked completely unfazed by her anger. “Oh, hey, Dana.”

Dana again. Since when was he calling her Dana? That was low-priority compared to everything else, though. She burst into his apartment and whirled around to face him as he shut the door.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Her voice was forceful, and she was grateful it wasn’t wavering.

He looked confused by her tone. “Oh, you know, just a little lunch break. What’s up?”

“A lunch break?” She whispered, so mad she couldn’t even speak. “A lunch break?” She repeated, louder. “You have the gall to tout some woman around right in front of me and then play it off as a lunch break?” 

He raised his arms in surrender. “Jeez, Dana, I didn’t know I owed you anything.”

“Owe me anything,” She mouthed the words in anger, then took a deep breath, trying to calm down so she didn’t actually murder him. “Mulder, if you- If you wanna break up, this is far from-”

“Break up?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Oho! That’s what this is about?”

“Excuse me?” She asked. What else would this be about?

He ignored her, though, his hand going to his chin in amazement. “I can’t believe it. I’ve been wasting my time with that bitch when you and I were an item this whole time?”

Scully stepped backwards, looking and feeling like she’d just been slapped. She’d never heard Mulder call anyone a bitch before. And why was he acting so surprised that they were together? Was this some sort of ploy? Some sick game? A way to act like they’d never been together?

It’s not Mulder, a small voice in the back of her mind said. She instinctively brushed it off, but then thought back to that phone call. That man — Morris Fletcher — had almost made a convincing argument. And it wasn’t like she hadn’t encountered Mulder imposters before. She recalled the shape-shifting man who’d showed up at her motel room to try and kill her years ago. And Eddie van Blundht.

“Well, Dana,” Mulder started speaking again. “I’m real sorry.” (he didn’t sound sorry at all) “I think I just, uh, haven’t been myself. Whaddaya say we start over?” He moved closer and put his hands on her shoulders.

“Don’t touch me,” She stepped back from his grip, her anger flaring up again. She wasn’t going to turn to some crazy theory to excuse Mulder’s actions. And a half-assed apology like that certainly wasn’t going to fix anything. “We’re done.” She spat, then turned and stormed out of his apartment.

“Done?” He called after her. “Where are you going?”

She didn’t answer.

---

Scully blinked in surprise as Morris Fletcher’s wife slapped him and called him a son of a bitch. Not a good day for relationships, huh?

Still a bit stunned, she tried to get her bearings. “I’m sorry, um, Morris Fletcher?”

Fletcher — who looked strangely excited to see her — closed the door and guided her away from it. “Scully, it’s me,��� He spoke quietly. “It’s Mulder.”

“Uh,” She shrugged off his hand and stepped back. Why was this man so close to her? “You’re the man from the other night? From Area 51?”

He opened his mouth to answer but was distracted by his wife shouting “Liar!” from the house.

“You phoned me,” Scully continued. “What is this all about?”

Fletcher looked frustrated. “I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man, Morris Fletcher. The man that you think is Mulder, but he's not.” He added, then seemed to notice his reflection in the window of the car. “Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different?” He said, mostly to himself. 

She just looked up at him, wondering if this man was crazy. If she was honest, part of her wished he was right, if not to have some reasoning for Mulder’s recent behavior.

After a beat, he turned to her. “Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is…” He thought for a moment. “Hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret, your brother's name is Bill. He's in the Navy and he hates me.”

He does hate Mulder, She thought to herself. But anyone could know that. Her brother would probably buy a billboard if he could.

He continued. “Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt — plain yogurt — into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick, even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.”

She blinked at that. How did he know that? She didn’t even register his wife shouting something else.

“Look…” She floundered for something to say, some reasoning. It was just too crazy to believe. “Any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.” They often ate lunch in the bullpen, now. Tons of people saw her do that.

“Even the bee pollen thing?” He asked, incredulous. “That is so you, that is so Scully. Well, it’s good to know you haven’t changed.” He was nearly ranting now. “That’s somewhat comforting.”

Scully opened her mouth to retaliate. Whatever was going on, it was uncomfortable hearing some strange man act like he knew her.

He took her by the shoulder and guided her even further from the house before she could speak, though. “Look, what about this?” His voice was nearly a whisper, as if he was afraid someone would hear. “We’re together. Only you and I know about that.”

She stiffened. Shrugged off his hand again. “Mr. Fletcher, I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but lots of people tend to assume that my partner and I are romantically involved. I can assure you that’s not-”

“Oh, c’mon, cut the crap, Scully!” His voice rose in frustration. He gestured as if searching for something to say. “I can- I can get more specific!”

“I don’t-”

“I told you I loved you in the hospital after you saved me from that ghost ship,” He charged ahead without letting her stop him.

That got her attention. At least enough for her to listen.

“You didn’t wanna believe me,” He continued, slightly calmer now. “You thought it was the drugs. You drove me home after I was discharged and we had an argument about it, and then we-” He stopped and glanced behind himself, as if worried someone would hear. When he spoke again, it was nearly a whisper. “We slept together. For the first time.”

Her heart pounded with panic. How could he know all of this? “Mr. Fletcher-”

“Afterwards, we ate Chinese food and talked about how we shouldn’t tell anyone. You spent the night and woke up so sore from my couch that you said you’d never do that again, but you have.”

She was about to argue, but paused. He was missing something. “Something happened between those things.”

He smiled. “The Gunmen dropped by. You hid in my room like a teenage girl whose boyfriend’s mom just came home.”

She knew her face was flushed now. It was all too accurate. She shook her head. “Mulder and I have both been bugged before. Spied on. How do I know that’s not how you learned all of this?” It made her deeply uncomfortable to think of someone spying on her and Mulder during such intimate moments, but it was more likely than body swapping.

Fletcher sighed in exasperation. “You really do make me work for everything, don’t you, Scully?” He ran a hand through his hair — the same way Mulder did, she realized — then looked back down at her. “Okay. Ask me anything.”

She licked her lips in thought, trying to think of a good question. “What was our first date?”

He smirked. “Depends who you’re asking.”

“I’m asking you.”

“The cemetery,” He said with a small smile. “You laughed.”

Her throat tightened. Part of her wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that all of the craziness between her and Mulder today was because it wasn’t Mulder. But the investigative part of her brain pointed out that they’d had that conversation in a public place. Someone could have overheard. She searched for a memory, something she could ask him about where she knew they were totally and completely alone.

Try any of that Tailhook crap on me, Scully, I’ll kick your ass, Mulder’s voice sounded in her head.

She looked up at Fletcher. “What did I sing to you?” No further explanation.

He frowned for a second, as if confused by the question. Then recognition crossed his face and he smiled. “Joy to the World.”

Her lips parted in shock and she leaned forward, searching his face as if half-expecting it to open like some sort of skin suit, revealing someone else. “Mulder?” She whispered, her voice thick with disbelief.

“Yeah,” He smiled, breathless with relief and nodding emphatically. “It’s me, Scully.”

Her gaze wandered, her mouth agape. “I don’t- How?”

“Something flew over us the other night,” He explained. “A UFO or something. No one else seems to remember it but me. And Morris, I’m assuming. I don’t know how it did it, but all of a sudden I was watching you get in the car with Morris, only you thought he was me.”

She didn’t seem to be fully paying attention to him, though, still reeling at this discovery. After a moment, she looked away in thought. “I was so mad at him,” She murmured quietly, as if to herself.

“Morris?” He asked. “What did he do?”

“He-” She ducked her chin in embarrassment. “I caught him...fooling around with Kersh’s assistant,” She muttered, almost too quiet to hear.

“He what?”  His eyebrows shot up in surprise, which quickly turned to anger.

“I don’t- I don’t know if they actually slept together-”

“Oh my God,” He buried his face in his hands.

“But I saw her leaving his — your — apartment,” She said, looking thoroughly embarrassed by the whole thing. “She wasn’t fully dressed.”

Fletcher —  Mulder, she reminded herself — lifted his head up to look at her. “Scully, I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t do that, you know that.” He looked genuinely contrite, knowing how she must have felt witnessing that.

She nodded thoughtfully, feeling relieved despite the fact that she still wasn’t fully sure she believed him. That was more like Mulder. After a moment, she spoke. “So...what do we do now? I mean, how do we fix…” She gestured to all of him. “This?”

“Unfortunately, I’m still looking into that,” He said. “I’m gonna go back to ‘work’ and try to get ahold of something — a piece of evidence.” He leaned a bit closer. “Can you meet me tonight? I’ll need you to take it to the Gunmen and have it analyzed.”

She hesitated, not exactly excited for yet another four-hour flight back to Washington (and probably another flight back here). She thought for a moment. “Is that going to help us change you back?”

“I don’t know,” He admitted. “But it’s at least a starting point. Can you meet me, Scully?”

“Hold on, Mulder,” She lifted a hand as if to stop him. It would take both parties to switch bodies back. “We have to think about this. Even if we find a way to fix this, there’s no guarantee that we can do it without Fletcher’s cooperation. He might even know how to do it. But he definitely doesn’t seem interested in giving up your life anytime soon.”

“What are you saying?”

She chewed her lip. “I’m saying that...as much as it’ll probably kill me, I’m gonna have to gain his trust. Go along with his charade. I might be able to get some information from him in case we don’t find anything with this ‘evidence.’”

He smirked, and she thought she could see a ghost of Mulder’s smirk on that ugly face. “You’re not gonna kiss him, are you?”

Her face scrunched up with disgust, which was all the answer he needed. “Where do you need me to meet you?” She asked.

“I’ll get in touch with you.”

---

Mulder — Fletcher — had followed her. That was the only explanation. How else would he have known that she went back to Nevada? Or that she’d talked to “Fletcher?”

She’d been backed into a corner. Kersh had threatened her job, and there was no knowing how much she could help Mulder if she got fired. Plus, she needed to gain Fletcher’s trust.

Mulder approached her in the gas station, a paper bag in his hands. “Scully, I got it. I got the proof.”

She couldn’t bring herself to say anything to him, instead only looking up at him with guilt. He registered it a split second too late as multiple vehicles pulled up, nearly blinding him with their lights.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered before turning away, unable to watch as the soldiers barged in and took the bag from him before cuffing him.

“Scully?” His voice was more urgent now.

She looked back at him, her expression saying what she couldn’t out loud. I had to, Mulder. I’m so sorry.

She thought she saw understanding register in his face, but they were both distracted as Fletcher walked in, flanked by two other men. “Damn it, Morris,” One of them said to Mulder.

Mulder ignored him, though, completely losing it at the sight of Fletcher in his own body. “You! You son of a bitch!” He fought against the soldiers who were holding him. “You orchestrated this whole thing!” He continued struggling — fruitlessly — as the soldiers dragged him out of the store. “You bastard! Tell them the truth! He’s not me, Scully! Would I do this?”

At the sound of her name, she had to turn away again, pressing her lips together to fight the tears in her eyes. Did he think she didn’t believe him? That she’d willingly helped Fletcher do this? 

I didn’t have a choice. She kept repeating that in her head as if it could shake away the feeling that she’d just betrayed her best friend. Her partner. The person who trusted her more than anyone else in the world. 

She would fix this. She had to.

After a few moments, she felt Fletcher’s hand on her shoulder and had to resist the urge to shrug it off.

“You hate me now, right?” He asked. When she didn’t answer, he continued. “Dana, I’m sorry I narced on you to Kersh, but I was afraid you’d lose your job. I mean, when you stomped out of my apartment and I found out you were going to Nevada, I was worried you were going to do something crazy.”

She bit back a million retorts that built up in her mind, instead setting her jaw and turning to face him with a carefully even expression. “You did the right thing, Mulder.”

He blinked in surprise. “I did?”

She gave a tight smile. “I’ve been telling you for years you should play more by the book, haven’t I?”

He smiled with relief, unable to read her body language the way the real Mulder could. “Hey, it’s the new me.”

---

Two weeks suspension without pay. And on top of that, she couldn’t believe she’d agreed to dinner with Fletcher. Or that he’d asked. Was it really that easy to win him over after she’d nearly ripped his head off? A simple “you were right” and he thought everything was okay? She’d been even more stunned when he suggested a home-cooked meal. As far as she was aware, Mulder wasn’t exactly a master chef. In fact, she wasn’t sure what he could cook. Everything he did further squashed any doubts she had that Mulder — the real Mulder — had been telling the truth.

Still, she had to get Fletcher to cooperate. And she had a plan. She double-checked that she had her cuffs and gun before knocking on the door.

The sight of Mulder wearing an apron that said “something smells good” would normally be enough to make her bust out laughing, but unfortunately there was little to be found funny about this situation.

“Perfect timing,” Fletcher said. “Welcome.”

It wasn’t until he moved aside that she noticed how clean the apartment was. “Wow.” Her eyebrows shot up, genuinely impressed. A small part of her noted what a shame it was that it took some weird body-switching scenario for Mulder’s apartment to be cleaned. She was so stunned that she barely even noticed Fletcher taking her coat.

“You like, huh?” He asked a little too close to her ear. “Yeah, I thought it was time I stopped living like a frat boy.” He shrugged. “Come see the rest of the place.” Taking her hand, he led her through the living room and into the bedroom.

If the sight of Mulder’s clean apartment stunned her, then the sight of his bedroom — completely spotless and now including a bed — nearly overwhelmed her. Her jaw dropped at the sight. She was surprised to find a part of her actually missed the boxes and dusty Playboys. It may have been annoying, but at least it had been Mulder.

“Come. Sit.” Fletcher excitedly patted the bed.

“Um, no,” She started to back out, worried he was trying to trap her into something. There was a difference between going along with his act and going so far as to sleep with him. 

“Seriously, just check it out.” He reached out and pulled her by the wrist and sat her down on the bed. It moved under her way more than a normal mattress should. 

Oh, God. A waterbed? she thought, trying to hide her disgust. He sat down beside her and the movement of the bed knocked her off balance, falling back onto it. Her jaw dropped again as she saw her own reflection staring down at her, and her face flushed at the thought of being able to see herself during...  certain activities.

Fletcher propped himself up on his elbow. “D’ya hate it?” He asked, grinning devilishly.

She hesitated, trying to calm herself. “No, I don’t hate it,” she said, and unfortunately it wasn’t a complete lie. As awful as a waterbed was and as horrifying as an above-bed mirror was, at least Mulder had a bed now. Once this was all over, she might be able to actually stay the night here without stiff muscles. Perhaps just mild nausea from the waterbed.

His grin widened. “Well, alright then. Don’t go away.” The bed shifted nauseatingly as he got up and left the room. When he came back with champagne and accompanying flutes, Scully couldn’t stop her eyebrows from shooting upwards. Big plans.

He handed her a flute and she stared at it thoughtfully for a moment, deciding it was time for one last test. She was already certain that this man wasn’t Mulder, but as a scientist she needed all the evidence she could gather.

“Mulder,” She kept her voice light. “Remember that time we were lost in the woods down in Florida? And you got injured?”

He frowned, looking a bit panicked. “Uhh, vaguely. Why?”

“I just-” She shook her head with a frustrated sigh. “I can’t seem to remember the name of the song that I sang to you. Do you remember? The tune’s been stuck in my head all day,” She added, then started humming the chords to “Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown” to throw him off.

“Oh, that’s the, um-” Fletcher snapped his fingers a couple times, trying to remember. “The Jim Croce song. Leroy Brown.”

“Thaaat’s right,” She said as if she’d just remembered. “And that was what I sang to you?”

“Of course,” He turned his attention back to the champagne bottle. “I vividly remember that part.” He winked.

“Mhm,” She nodded, her jaw tight. She licked her lips and then turned to him. “Do you know what would really be fun?”

“What?”

She pulled out her handcuffs and dangled them in front of him with a cocked eyebrow. Fletcher looked like he’d nearly come on the spot. “Oh, yeah. Me first?”

“You first,” She smirked.

Excited, he couldn’t seem to take the cuffs from her fast enough. While he cuffed himself to the bed, she stood up and pulled out her gun. “Now what?” He asked, turning back, but flinched in surprise when he saw her gun aimed at him.

“You’re not Mulder.”

The panicked look on his face was nearly comical. “What?” The champagne cork popped at that moment, and Scully could already imagine laughing about that with the real Mulder in the future. “Baby-”

“‘Baby’ me and you’ll be peeing through a catheter,” She said, lowering the aim of her gun. “Your name is Morris Fletcher. It was Mulder who was arrested in the desert. Now, how do we get things back to normal?”

---

Fletcher had turned out to be completely useless and somehow knew nothing, but luckily Mulder’s source called while Scully was interrogating him. And after two more flights to Nevada and back — along with a nearly unsuccessful bar adventure — they arrived at the Lone Gunmens’ lair, flight recorder in tow.

Scully pressed on the buzzer. “Open up,” She called out. After a few moments, she started hearing the clicks and clanks that meant someone was unlocking the various locks.

Frohike opened the door. “Mulder.” He let them in, and Scully tried to brush off the fact that she hadn’t been greeted. It wasn’t even really Mulder, after all. “If I had known you were coming, I would have made more salsa.”

“We need your help right now,” Scully said, offering up the flight recorder to Langly.

“Who crashed?” He looked it over with interest.

“Who, what, why,” She said. “I need to know everything that’s on that data recorder.”

The three rattled off technical terms that she didn’t care to remember, then Byers turned to Fletcher. “Where did you get this?” He asked him.

What am I, chopped liver? “Groom Lake,” Scully answered. “Outside Area 51.”

“Dreamland.” Frohike raised his eyebrows. They had a brief discussion about some spy plane before Fletcher — browsing through an issue of the  Lone Gunman  — started giggling to himself.

“What’s with him?” Frohike asked.

“Ignore him,” she said.

“Mulder-”

“He’s not Mulder,” She corrected with exasperation. 

All three Gunmen turned to her with questioning looks.

“This aircraft.” She pointed at the flight recorder. “When it crashed it somehow resulted in a…a body swap. Between Mulder and…” She gestured to Fletcher. “This asshole.”

The three looked confused, both by the situation and by the fact that Scully was the one saying these sorts of things. They laughed nervously, but stopped when they saw she wasn’t laughing along with them.

“Asshole?” Fletcher sounded offended, putting down the paper and approaching her. “Listen here, lady, you probably wouldn’t have even realized I wasn’t Mulder if you two weren’t banging.”

Scully stiffened, feeling three pairs of eyes slowly turn to look at her.

“Banging?” Langly asked.

She clenched her jaw, thinking quickly. “No, he’s just trying to rile me up because I embarrassed him when I caught him with Kersh’s secretary.”

“Kersh’s secretary?”

“Ah,” Fletcher nodded in understanding. “Keeping it a secret, huh?”

“There’s no secret to keep,” She bit back, her eyes threatening murder. Fletcher seemed more amused than fazed, though, which only angered her more.

The Gunmen exchanged looks, unsure who to believe. Scully inwardly groaned. Great. Now the three most suspicious men in the world had reason to wonder if she and Mulder were together. That'll be fun to deal with.

“Who the hell are you?” Frohike asked him.

Fletcher explained who he was, then managed to rile the three of them up by claiming to be the one who came up with most of their stories. Scully let it continue at first, simply grateful that they were distracted from the topic of her relationship with Mulder. But then Frohike brandished his spatula.

“The name’s Frohike, you punk ass. What the hell did you do with Mulder?”

“Shut up, all of you,” Scully stepped in, then pointed to the flight recorder. “If you guys want Mulder back, then get me these results.”

---

“You don’t look too happy. Don’t tell me I’m gonna have to put two kids through school.”

Scully looked up at Mulder, hugging herself. She still couldn’t quite believe it was him. “I just got off the phone with Frohike.”

She explained how the whole thing had been reliant on completely random variables — ones that they had next to no chance of replicating. And even if they could, there was no guarantee that it would work.

Looking completely downtrodden now, Mulder glanced over to the car where Fletcher sat. “What about him?”

She followed his gaze and sighed. “‘Agent Mulder’ has become Kersh’s new golden boy. The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh more than I do to my priest. I’m just tagging along for the ride.”

He turned back to her. “What do you mean, ‘just tagging along?’”

She pressed her lips together. “I’m out of the Bureau. I’ve been censured and relieved of my position.”

“No.” His voice was nearly a whisper. “You can explain it to them like you explained it to me,” he said urgently “You have the data. You can make them understand. You can get your job back.”

She looked back up at him affectionately, appreciating his sympathy. But she felt no desire to continue at the Bureau without him. Or worse — with a fake him. 

“I’d kiss you if you weren’t so damn ugly,” she said, and meant it. By far one of the worst parts of this situation was that she wasn’t able to give him a proper goodbye. They’d known each other for years, but their relationship was still so new. Ever since it started, she’d been afraid of how it might end, but she’d never imagined it would be like this. Forced apart by some weird, random X-File. Not even a conspiracy, just completely random variables within a nearly impossible feat of science. She supposed it was some sort of poetic justice, maybe they even deserved it. Like so many other times before, a chance for happiness was being stolen away from her and there was nothing she could do about it.

Mulder smiled wistfully at her and nodded, looking like he wanted to kiss her anyway. They stared into each other's eyes the way they always did, and she wondered if he was thinking about the same things she was, but the moment was interrupted by Fletcher honking the horn.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer!” He called out, his head hanging out of the window.

“If I shoot him, is that murder or suicide?”

“Neither, if I do it first.” She squeezed his arm, then turned towards the car. 

“Hey, Scully.”

She turned back, and he held out a closed hand in offering. She held out her own, and he dropped some sunflower seeds into it before taking one back to put in his mouth. Yep, she thought, looking up at him. That’s Mulder.

She got in the car and watched him get in his. What kind of lives would they have now? She didn’t know what she would do when she got back home. She couldn’t even teach at the academy anymore. Maybe she would turn back to medicine, finally returning to what would have made her parents proud years ago.

She only knew two things for certain: she wouldn’t stop searching for a way to fix this, to bring Mulder back. And she wouldn’t stop investigating X-Files. What was his life’s work had become hers as well, and she could only hope that continuing to investigate them would help heal what was being broken at having to leave him like this. Maybe she would even find a solution to this problem buried in a random case.

And what about Mulder? She indulged in wondering what he would do with his life as she drove. He had a wife now. And kids. And a more regular job than theirs had been. That normalcy that she’d asked about, he was now forced to experience without her. No doubt he’d try to repair Fletcher’s marriage despite the fact that he wasn’t him and didn’t love his wife. That was just the kind of person Mulder was. He’d learn to like the kids, probably even grow attached to them. Despite his insistence on being a misfit and an outcast, he had a knack for dealing with others. When he tried.

He’d go to work, probably using it as a way to get the inside scoop on some X-Files. She knew he’d never stop investigating them, either. Maybe someday, by complete coincidence, they’d meet up again on the same case. They’d catch up, and it would be nice, except it wouldn’t be. Because it would still be Mulder, but it wouldn’t be him, not fully.

She wiped away a stray tear as Fletcher started talking, telling some story about the motel manager.

---

“Come on, Mulder, let’s go.” Scully tugged on his sleeve, shooting a glare at the man who had confronted him. She saw him light a cigarette as they drove away.

For some reason, the four-hour red-eye back to Washington felt like it was nearly the tenth one she’d made. She brushed it off, assuming it was just because they were always flying. Mulder — in the seat next to her — looked like he was trying and failing to sleep.

“Sorry your confidential source didn’t pan out,” she murmured, not wanting to wake anyone who was actually sleeping.

He turned to her with a smile, then took her hand. “Well, I guess you were right, Scully. Just another crackpot who watches too much Star Trek.”

They managed to get back in time to change clothes at her apartment and go to work, where the two yawned all day and barely got any actual work done. Luckily, their unauthorized trip to Nevada seemed to go unnoticed by Kersh. At one point, Scully opened her desk drawer and noticed what looked like two coins fused together. Where had that come from? She considered getting Mulder’s attention to show it to him, but decided she was too tired to hear a conspiracy ramble today. 

After work, they walked to her car (not having had time to drive him by his place to pick up his car before work). She yawned. “It’s Friday,” -which was strange. Wasn’t it just Monday? Maybe she was more tired than she thought- “are you staying at my place tonight? Or would you rather sleep alone?”

He yawned back. “I don’t know, Scully. After being treated to the comforts of your bed, it’s been getting harder and harder to fall asleep on my couch.”

“You should get your own bed, then,” she quipped, putting her car into gear.

“Then what would be my excuse for spending the night at your place?”

She snorted. “I can think of a few.”

They dropped by his place so he could grab some things, and she begrudgingly followed him up to his apartment, sleepily leaning against the wall next to his door as he unlocked it. His jaw dropped when he opened the door, then he checked his apartment number as if unable to believe he was at the right unit. 

“Mulder?” She straightened up. “What’s wrong?”

Wordless, he gestured into his apartment, and she turned to look. Her own jaw dropped at the sight of the spotlessly clean apartment with a few new tasteful decorations. They both stepped into it, mouths agape, and looked around.

“Mulder, did you...hire someone?” Her voice pitched up higher than usual due to her state of shock.

“No, I-” He stammered, then looked at her. “You aren’t joking with me, are you? Was this you?”

She shook her head, her eyebrows raised in innocence. “It looks nice,” she said, then turned to him with a cocked brow and a smirk. “But where will you put the white picket fence?”

He smiled and put an arm around her shoulder. “Oh, I was thinking right about here, in the middle of everything.”

She grinned at him, but he looked away, distracted. He’d noticed that his bedroom door was open and went over to it, peering inside. 

“Scully.”

“What?” She rushed over to look, following him into the room, but stopped short at the sight of a new bed. Standing proudly in the middle of his now-clean room. “Holy crap, Mulder. How- How did this get here?”

He shrugged. “Maybe it was a gift. Maybe someone overheard you badgering me to get one,” he joked, but she wasn’t paying attention to him.

“Mulder,” She muttered, leaning towards the bed and looking up. He followed her gaze and saw his own reflection looking back. Slowly, they both turned to look at each other with equal amounts of incredulity.

“Well,” He put his hands on his hips and sighed. “I guess...gift horse and all that.”

“Mulder, you’re not at all suspicious about how this happened?”

“Right now, all I care about is getting some sleep. And now I’ve got a bed.” He sat down on it and was startled by how much it moved. 

“A waterbed?” Scully’s eyebrows looked like they would just about shoot off her forehead.

He groaned and flopped back fully. “Just when I thought my back would get a break.”

[achieveandhunt]

live typing extra life 2019

warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.

i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points

larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start

what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ

lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much

jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo

matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry

“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss

geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey

THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING

jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley

alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE

wait why does it sound like wonderwall

they look like characters from the matrix

the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt

in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants 

okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY

“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well

also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome

i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board

which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??

“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”

WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)

ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple

god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair

owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment

“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”

ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up

“man action” oh no

THROBERT MULVEINY

K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes

“my last name is cottagecheese”

I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S 

chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds

“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy

jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes

a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese

BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE

“to fitness” -starts choking-

final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission

“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items

we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment

moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat

jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand

what’s extra life without a little satan

“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY

chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais

ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister

nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip

oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year

this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700

D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑

urine: to help with aerodynamics

jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*

today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right

how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly

barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon

blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real

#dogsforkids

this just in: extra life killed my wifi

we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen

queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations

HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY

hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable

trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk

“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”

i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor

the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose

“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”

“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair

jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny

OK BOOMER 

wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots

Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas

miles doesn’t know what a question is

WHERE’S YOUR HAIR

oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone

CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

miles bossing around chef mike is priceless

“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”

“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*

HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that

“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH

--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---

oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree

so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them

hmm. is now the time to get drunk

oily twist feels very... ominous

what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?

someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”

i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours

ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of

can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude

“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking

this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)

“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad

fucking called it

“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip

heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice

i’m a grown ass woman

welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment

“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*

“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”

“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”

oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh

i felt that chest slap in my soul

i think i felt my own ribs crack

oh fucking

tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section

alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning

my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here

this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before

LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM

JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller

oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck

m y a t t

oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling

lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones

chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged

chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying

he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content

i heARD A MICHAEL JONES

“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”

you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos

JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK

oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing

why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king

the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass

i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point

lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth

well timed leet donation #1829495

this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good

jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said

iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL

jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to

lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25

“deep fry everything but a remote control”

chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25

oh fuck it’s a tie

now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible

i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight

no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god

okay i’m making a part two this is too much

[thdorkmagnet]

A Fairytale Beginning (Star is Snow White AU)

A/N: First chapter of the “Star is a Disney Princess series”. These tend to jump around a bit as I just write whatever I feel like writing and don’t follow a particular order, but I had to start with the first Disney Princess ever. Enjoy!

Summary: A series of one-shots and multi-chapters proving why Star Butterfly should be considered a Disney Princess, as Star and company take over the roles of all your favorite Disney Princess characters! (Starco inevitable)

Check out my other stuff on Fanfiction! 

Disclaimer: Star vs and all its characters are owned by Daron Nefcy and Disney. Snow White belongs to Disney. All rights go to their respective owners. 

 Once upon a time in the far away kingdom of Mewni, there lived a beautiful princess with golden hair that sparkled like the stars that shined in the night sky and a heart so pure and kind that it was said that when she was happy heart-like symbols would appear on her cheeks and would bring joy upon any who looked at them. And her name was Star White. The reason for her strange and miraculous gift was because it was said that she had the ability to wield a lost art known as magic, aided by a powerful wand which had been past down to her by her late mother, Moon White. Armed with this mystic device, Star White was able to perform miraculous acts of good for her people and was beloved by all- Star White laughed at the passage on the scroll she was reading, the proclamation no doubt written by the Royal Wordsmith, who always tending to over-exaggerate things to fantastic proportions. “'Armed with the mystic device',” Star said in a mocking tone, waving around her wand in the air, goofily. “'She was able to perform miraculous acts of good for her people'.” Star continued to giggle incessantly, at the hilarity of it all. She sat down on the edge of the well she was drawing water from to rest, her stomach aching from laughing so hard. She was in the beautiful castle garden, a place she often liked to visit when her stepmother wasn't loading her down with a billion boring chores to do. “Seriously, like anyone would actually buy any of this junk,” Star said to herself, rolling her eyes. “I'm not more special than anybody else is.” “Here is the water you asked for, Your Highness.” Star looked behind her to see a shimmering butterfly holding the bucket she had sent it down the well with, the whole thing filled to the brim, the magical creature straining to hold the heavy object upright. “Great,” Star replied cheerily, smiling gratefully at the creature. “Just set it over there, somewhere.” She gestured to the marble stairs that led back into the castle, where a group of living brooms were already hard at work scrubbing every inch of the staircase, the whole thing already dripping with soapy water. The butterfly did a small mid-air bow, nearly sloshing some of the water out of the bucket, before slowly floating over to the hard-at-work brooms. Star took a moment to admire her creations attentively doing her chores, really in awe at the range of abilities her wand possessed, sometimes even managing to impress herself with how incredibly useful they could be. “Man am I lucky I found that living broom spell in my spell book or this would have been a disaster to clean,” she observed, laying down on the edge of the well, looking over the scroll again. “Now where was I,” she muttered, lazily. She scoffed, continuing to read the poetic garbage they were trashing out about her and her wand, the whole thing just so overly dramatic and cheesy that it was more silly than anything else. “Yeah right, like anyone would actually take any of this seriously,” she remarked, skeptically. … “What is the meaning of this?!” Queen Heinous screamed, crumpling up the scroll in her hands angrily, before throwing it to the other side of the room, one of her servants having to duck to avoid getting hit by the wad of paper. “How dare they print such disgusting dribble about that royal brat!” the queen continued her rant, stomping back and forth around the room in an almost temper-tantrum. “Gemini!” she called angrily. From another corner of the room, the queen's most trusted servant, Gemini, gulped in fear, not sure he had the strength to stand another one of the queen's jealous rages toward her stepdaughter. Queen Heinous had always had it out for Princess Star since the very beginning. Ever since she took the throne, taking over in place of Queen Moon, standing in for the young princess until she was old enough to inherit her own throne (the people feeling a child was unfit to hold all the powers of royalty) she had always hated the pretty princess. The biggest reason being that it was understood that once Princess Star reached the age of 21 she would be of legal age to take her stepmother's place as Queen of Mewni, which meant Heinous's time on the throne was limited. Not to mention that Star had of course inherited the most valuable heirloom in all of the Kingdom, the magic wand, being that only a true White family member could wield its incredible powers, which seemed to only be rubbing salt into an open wound, causing Heinous to grow more and more bitter and envious with every day that past. In fact, Heinous had begun treating Star more like a servant than the destined-to-be-queen she was, having her perform demeaning act such as cleaning up around the castle and refusing to allow her to wear her own crown in public. Though she was supposed to be teaching and guiding her to becoming a better leader she had done nothing to fulfill such a duty so far and that was not likely to change anytime soon. “Gemini, where are you?!” the Queen screamed again, her subject sucking in a deep breath, before stepping out of his hiding place and gingerly approaching his ruler. “Yes, Your Majesty,” Gemini greeted with a bow. “I would like to know the meaning behind these horrid scrolls!” Heinous demanded, Gemini trying not to shake with fear as the Queen's narrowed gaze rested on him. “Umm, well I believe it was to help promote the princess's image,” Gemini cautiously replied. “Image?!” Gemini flinched at the raised tone. “What about my image? I'm their queen! Are you honestly telling me that that little air-head is more beloved than me, their loving and merciful ruler?!” “Of course not, Your Majesty,” Gemini said in a comforting tone. “The people adore you, as they should.” “Well obviously they do not adore me enough,” Heinous scoffed, between clenched teeth, taking a seat back on her throne. She thought for a moment before saying in a commanding tone, “Gemini, send everyone else away. I need to be alone.” “Uh, yes, Your Majesty,” Gemini replied, with a small bow, fairly sure he knew where this was going. He quickly shooed the other servants away, clearing the room of any prying eyes until only him and his queen remained. Once they were gone, he approached his queen, who had a sadistic look in her eyes. “Milady, your not honestly thinking of consulting with it again, are you?” he asked, concerned. “Of course I am,” Heinous replied, rising from her seat and walking behind her throne, Gemini following quickly after. “It's the only way to know for sure if that little princess is going to be a nuisance to me or not.” “Yes but, you tend to get pretty emotional when it tells you something you don't like,” her servant pointed out and the queen turned to him with an angered glare. “I am not emotional!” she fumed and Gemini took a step back, quickly correcting his mistake. “O-Of course not, m-my queen,” he apologized, for being misspoke, bowing his head submissively. With a huff, the queen turned her attention back to the drapes in front of her, drawing them back to reveal her greatest and most well-guarded secret: a magic mirror. She took in a deep breath before saying, “Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the most beloved of all.” The mirror made a clicking sound as it became active, the image showing a small loading bar which was spinning endlessly. The queen tapped her foot impatiently as she awaited it to connect. Finally, the mirror image displayed a purple pixie looking thing which stated in an overly-cheery voice, “We're sorry but the person or magical creature you are trying to reach is not available at this time. Please call again at a later date. Thank you on behalf of Pixie Mirror Inc. for your patience and understanding.” And just like that the mirror went black again, Queen Heinous shouting in anger, “What?!” She began banging a fist a few times against the glass, trying to force it to reconnect. “Come on, you stupid-” she hissed angrily, before she called at the top of her lungs to her servant who was standing right behind her. “GEMINI! FIX IT!!” Her minion, ignoring the ringing in his ears, stepped closer to the magic mirror, saying, “Yes, of course, Queen Heinous,” while his queen crossed her arms, fuming unhappily. He cleared his throat, before trying a different phrase, “Mirror Mirror on the wall, please show us the One-who-knows-all.” The mirror once again began trying to connect, only this time a face appeared on the screen after a short wait, a small blue head just floating there in space. “Milady, he- uhhh it is here now,” Gemini said, turning to his queen. “Finally,” she huffed, shoving Gemini out of the way so she could get a good look at the mystical creature in front of her, recognizing it immediately by the same purple gem that was embedded into its bald forehead and its familiar long white beard. She also recognized the blank expression it always seemed to have on and she smiled. After a moment, the creature began to speak, in a loud, booming voice that echoed through the halls, as flames lit up behind his mirror image, “You have summoned forth Glossaryk, the One-who-knows-all, interrupted my life with your meaningless call. Within me lies the truths you so dearly do hunt, now all I ask is...” The flames instantly snuffed out and his voice lowered to a more normal level asking in a slightly annoyed tone, “What do you want?” Gemini gave his queen another begging look, not trusting the little creature one bit, his information often proving to be more troublesome than he cared to admit, but Heinous didn't even seem to notice her servant was there anymore as she asked, “I want to know who my people love more, me or my bothersome stepdaughter?” Glossaryk was silent for a moment, before saying, “The people do love her and adore her sweet ways, and this feeling only grows stronger over the days. Through her kind acts and heart that shines pure, she has stolen their attention with her gracious lure. In short, My Queen, it seems you worries were true, for Princess Star is so much more beloved than you.” “I KNEW IT!!” Heinous screamed angrily, her whole body shaking with rage. “That little brat is trying to take my throne away! Who does she think she is?!” “Um, the princess, Your Highness,” Gemini timidly responded. “Not anymore,” Heinous whispered darkly, pacing back and forth as she began scheming of a way to get rid of her happy-go-lucky competitor. “I'll just have her stripped of her royal power and sent to live with the peasants.” “Umm, my queen,” Gemini tried again, his voice even softer and more nervous than before. “I don't think that is a good idea.” “I'm inclined to agree, that would be unwise,” Glossaryk concurred in riddle.  “A different plan I would advise.” Queen Heinous stopped pacing for a moment, thinking over what her two advisers were saying. “Perhaps you're both right,” she sighed, seeing the flaws within her seemingly brilliant plan. “W-We are, Your Majesty,” Gemini stated in disbelief, not sure if he had heard his ruler right. He was unable to think of a time when the queen had ever agreed to being wrong about anything. “Yes,” she said, putting a hand to her chin, still deep in thought. “Simply revoking her right to the throne is only a temporary fix. I need something more... permanent.” Heinous smiled evilly. “P-Permanent,” Gemini stuttered, feeling his body grow cold. He didn't like where this was going. Heinous chuckled to herself. “Oh yes, what I need is to get rid of the princess. And then no one could ever challenge my right to the throne ever again.” She turned to her servant, him and the still-active mirror thrown off guard by the crazed look in her eye. “Gemini, summon the nearest huntsmen to my chambers, I have an extra special job for him,” she command, rubbing her hands together mysteriously. For a moment, the two just stared at the evil queen with varying levels of concern, until at last, the mirror image Glossaryk spoke, not even bothering to rhyme his very true observation, “Well, she's gone nuts.” … “Are you sure this is the right way?” Star asked the huntsmen who had guided her into the forest, skeptically. She turned to look at the tall green frog, dressed head to toe in traditional hunting clothes. Buff Frog, who had been smiling nervously the whole trip, refused to meet her eye, sweat dripping off of his face. “Uhh, da, princess,” he said in a heavy Russian accent. “This is definitely right way.” “Really?” Star said, raising an eyebrow at the huntsma... uhh huntsfrog. “Cause we were supposed to be going to put out a fire at the Dry Wood Meadows...” “Which is totally true and not just lie I make up so you come with me,” Buff Frog quickly said. “What?” Star said. “What?” Buff Frog repeated immediately. “Annnyywho,” Star said, feeling an uncomfortable tension beginning to form. “According to this sign...” She pointed out the sign in front of her, reading if off for her animal-like escort. “We're at some place called, 'Isolation Point: where no one can here you scream.' Huh.” Buff Frog said nothing, more sweat pouring off of his face, watching the young princess closely as she continued to examine the sign, slowly drawing a knife from his belt. “Sorry to say this, Buff Frog,” she continued. “But I think you may have gotten us lost.” The frog looked down at the knife, which was shaking in his nervous grip, unsure what to do. He had been given strict orders from the queen herself to dispose of the princess, an order which he wanted nothing to do with, wishing he had never even heard the command. He, like many in the kingdom, adored Princess Star and wished for her to be the ruler instead of her tyrant of a stepmother. He wasn't sure if he could bring himself to kill her in cold blood. But if he didn't finish his mission, the queen would surely have his head instead. So, Buff Frog swallowed down his guilt, stepping closer to the unsuspecting princess and raising the knife into the air, preparing to stab her. The girl continued to be oblivious to the danger directly behind her, cocking her head to the side and humming to herself as she tried to make sense of the directions. But just as Buff Frog was about to thrust his knife right into her unsuspecting back, his nerves got the better of him, the hunter dropping the knife to the floor and collapsing to his knees. Star, hearing the loud thud, turned in surprise as Buff Frog began begging at her feet, bowing as low to the ground as his muscular body would allow him. “I'm sorry, princess,” he wept in sadness and guilt, grabbing onto her legs. “Please forgive me.” “Uhhh, it's okay, Buff Frog,” Star replied anxiously, unsure what had caused the frog's sporadic mood shift. “I know you didn't mean to get us lost.” “No, I'm sorry I tried to kill you,” Buff Frog admitted, his voice still chocked with sobs, as he looked sorrowfully up at the girl. “Wait, what?!” Star exclaimed, taking a step away from the monster and out of his grasp, suddenly unsure what to think of him. “Is true,” Buff Frog continued to confess, disheartened. “I lied to you, so you would come out here, princess, and I so sorrryyy!!” “Why- Why would you do that?!” Star asked, shocked, pulling out her wand and holding it out toward her would-be attacker, demanding an answer from the huntsfrog. “Is not me,” Buff Frog said, rising to his feet again. “Is queen she wants you dead!” “What?” Star whispered, her eyes widening. “Queen Heinous? But why, I haven't done anything?” Buff Frog shook his head. “Doesn't matter. Queen, she is very jealous of you, she will do anything to keep throne for herself.” Star gave him a disbelieving stare, keeping the wand raised. “Please, princess, you must believe me,” he added, trying to urge her with his begging tone.   Star said nothing for a moment, feeling extremely unsure of whether or not she could trust what the monster was saying. After all, he had just tried to stab her in the back. But, on the other hand... did it really seem all that far-fetched. After all, Star knew quite well of the spiteful feelings her stepmother often showed towards her. And the more she thought about the less crazy it seemed that her super jealous guardian would want to keep her away from the throne at any cost. Still, Star never would have thought she would have taken it this far. Star gave the monster a suspicious glare before asking, “Okay, let's say you are telling the truth and the queen does want me dead, why not just kill me, then, like she asked?” “Because I cannot kill beloved princess, even if means disobeying orders,” Buff Frog responded immediately. “I believe you make better ruler than her.” Though it might not have been the wisest choice, Star found herself believing the huntsfrog. After all, he had wasted his best chance to kill her a moment ago, when she had no idea the attack was coming. If he had really wanted to kill her, he would have done it then, confirming it in Star's mind that  Heinous did, in fact, want her dead. But that left Star with a bigger problem to deal with... now what? Star definitely couldn't risk going home. She knew that this failure would do nothing to ward the evil queen off from trying something like this again, the blond knew just how persistent her step-mom was, going to any lengths to get what she wanted. And right now she apparently wanted Star dead. Star began biting on her wand, something she often did when she was deep in thought, as she tried to come up with some kind of plan, with no results. Come on Star, think, she urged herself. If you don't figure this out than you are looking at spending the next couple of years of your life dodging Heinous' assassins. Finally, she sighed in exasperation, lowering her wand. “Yeah well, if I don't think of some kind of plan, then I may not get a chance to prove you right,” Star said to the frog bitterly, crossing her arms, feeling overwhelmed. Buff Frog hesitated for a second, taking in the look of uncertainty on the girl's scrunched up face, before saying confidently, “Will not come to that, princess.” Star looked surprised by this, giving him a skeptical look, asking, “What makes you so sure?” “Because I go back and tell queen that I successful with mission,” Buff Frog volunteered, his tone strong and sure. “While you escape into woods.” Star instinctively turned to look back at the forest behind her, quite aware of the fact that they were relatively deserted and very rarely traveled, the place seeming like the perfect place to hide from Heinous and anyone seeking her harm. Star's face brightened as she turned back to the monster. “Oh yeah! That could work!” Star shouted in excitement at the suggestion, glad she had some kind of plan to work off of. “Nobody ever goes in there!” “Exactly,” Buff Frog confirmed, nodding his head in approval. “You will be safe there.” Star, without thinking, gave the huntsmen a quick hug around the waist, saying sweetly, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” As she pulled away Buff Frog could swear he saw small pink hearts on Star's cheeks, glowing and pulsing, but when he blinked they were gone, causing the frog to believe it had just been a trick of the light. “You are welcome, princess,” Buff Frog said, respectfully. Star turned to face the forest, building up her nerve as she prepared to enter it. Suddenly, Star thought of something, swerving back around to face the frog. “But wait, what about you?” she asked, in concern. “What if she figures out you are lying?” Buff Frog didn't seem frightened of the thought, putting a hand to his chest and bowing his head. “Then I gladly face consequences for actions.” Star stared at the frog silently for a moment, before she whipped out her wand, using it to make a small chest. “Here,” she said, handing it to the frog. “Give this to Queen Heinous, it'll help throw her off the scent.” “Thank you, princess,” Buff Frog said accepting the gift in slight confusion. “But what is it?” “It's my heart,” she explained. Buff Frog's eyes widened in horror. “Your heart?!” he repeated in almost disgust, holding the box farther away from his muscular self. “Yep,” Star said with a smile. Before adding, “The heart necklace that my mother gave to me. It's been passed down in my family for generations.” She waved a finger in the air matter-of-factly as she explained this to the frog, who visibly relaxed as she did. “Oh, I see, that much better,” Buff Frog said relieved, visibly sighing. “Well yeah, what did you really think I was gonna put my actual heart in there or something?” Star asked, with a dismissive scoff. “Ha ha no, of course not,” Buff Frog said, chuckling nervously. With that Star turned back to the forest, just looking up at the tall treeline that towered over her, unmoving. Though she was anything but afraid of the dark overgrowth in front of her, she still couldn't help but feel hesitant to cross into the woods. Once she had, there would be no going back, she was leaving her old life behind, possibly forever and that thought was causing her insides to twist up uncomfortably, for just a moment remembering the life she was giving up. Though it was far from perfect, she would miss the friends she had made in the kingdom and, well, it was her home she had grown to love it, deeply. She took a deep breath reminding herself of the stakes, before forcing her feet into motion running into the dark woods, alone.

[owlespresso]

Mating Season / Hawks / 1

New multi-part series!! Commissions are closed but my tip jar is still open! I write headcanons in exchange for donations! If you’re interested, check it out HERE.

Mid-winter is by far one of the worst times of the year. It’s fucking cold. And the sun sets at like three in the afternoon. It tires you out easily, which means you can’t get as much work done as you’d like. Your numb eyes stare across the street as people mill by. 

The light is still green, much to your displeasure. At your side, Hawks fidgets, his wings curled tight to his body in an attempt to preserve body warmth. He seems colder than you are, despite his heavy jacket. Doesn’t he ever get hot in that thing?

You’ve seen him wear it during spring, too. On magazine covers and pictures in newspapers and the like.

Then again, you’ve only been living with him for a month. And it’s a strictly business arrangement, anyways. His fashion sense is fine, barring the backless shirts he often wears out of convenience. It’s hard to keep your eyes off the finely-tuned muscles of his back, so you scold him and tell him to be more modest to cover up how flustered you get.

“We didn’t have to go out today, you know?” You look up at him with curious eyes, “I mean, I appreciate this. But you seem really cold.” Two hours ago, you complained about how pricey certain clothing brands could be. Hawks immediately insisted that he take you to the nearest shopping center, with an unusual amount of fervency. 

Of course, he teased you about being your “sugar daddy”. But you can’t deny that it’s rather gentlemanly of him to try and buy you nice things, especially when you’re not actually dating him. Sure, you’ve come to like him. Probably more than you should. But he’s the number two hero and is probably busier than you can imagine.

“No, absolutely not,” He huffs, “You cannot say that to me after I flew us all the way over here.” Regardless, he doesn’t look as annoyed as he might hope. “After all, what kind of guy would I be if I didn’t buy you some nice things every now and then? If you want, there’s this really cute lingerie store we can—”

“I know,” You cut him off, giving him a stinging glare, “but if you get a cold, it’s gonna be my fault,” The light goes red and pedestrians file across the street in a semi-orderly fashion. “And I know you’ll guilt me into taking care of you.”

“You’re saying you wouldn’t take care of me? Wouldn’t even some chicken noodle soup for lil ole me?” He shoots you an amused glance. Inwardly, you know you probably would—damn the guy and his incredibly convincing puppy dog eyes. Before you can roll your eyes and tell him to make his own damn soup, you feel a looming warmth behind you. Your gae darts back and you find yourself bewildered when you see that one of his wings is curled around your back, sheltering you from the cold. Huh. He’s never done that before. Granted, you’ve only lived with him for a month. And spent much less time together.

As much as you would like to hang out more often, you wouldn’t demand his time.

“I’m pretty sure you could manage to make your own damn soup, number two hero.” You turn your attention back in front of you, disregarding the warmth swelling on your face.

“Really? How heartless.” You cringe as he begins to teasingly guilt you, but several squeals ring out as you enter the mall. A gaggle of pretty young women turns out to be your savior.

“Meet me at Bloomingdale's when you’re done.” You drawl and nudge him with your elbow. He rolls his eyes and looks like he wants to yell you off, but his adoring fans descend upon him and he’s once again all smiles and rainbows. You slink of before they can catch more than a glimpse of you. Fortunately, you’re an expert escape artist. Had you been a lesser person, the press would have jumped all over you months ago. Still, you couldn’t help the twinge of displeasure that strikes when you think of him surrounded by other, possibly prettier women.

It’s stupid, you think yourself as you stride down the shiny, chrome halls. You pass miscellaneous boutiques and sleek storefronts, able to weave in and out of the crowd without drawing attention. Still, it’s nearly impossible to smother the feeling that’s bubbling within. Not even internally mocking gaudy jewelry stores as you pass helps. Emotions just suck, you reason. It’ll go away eventually. It’ll go away.

The smell of churros draws your attention to one of the nearby food booths. Curse this capitalist establishment and its glorious, handmade pretzel stands. It’s agonizing to turn away from, but you know Hawks will bug you for any food you buy. It’ll just be easier to wait for him. 

You sit on one of the classy but uncomfortable benches near the store and pass time by pestering your friends in a group chat. Not many people are available, since it’s the middle of a work day, but a few of them immediately pop in just to tease you about Hawks. Those fuckers. After clarifying that no—you’re not dating Hawks (for the fourth of fifth time in a row), you close the chat and fume quietly.

“You waiting on someone?” A voice purrs slowly, behind you. Figures the moment you want to be left alone, some douche comes to piss you off. Your elbow rests on the back of the bench and you crane your head to look at him. Blonde hair, green eyes, freckles. Nothing outlandish, nothing much.

“No. Leave me alone.” You say, shooting him the most menacing glare you can muster. The guy seems to blink at that.

“Alright,” His voice abandons the sultry tone it had adopted, but he doesn’t leave. He shuffles to stand in front of you and reaches out, offering… your wallet!? You blink up at him, “Yeah. Probably shouldn’t have sounded like such a douche, but you dropped your wallet,” He sheepishly rubs the back of his head as you gently take it from him, opening it. Your gaze roams along the various pockets. Once you deem that nothing had been taken, you turn your gaze back up to him. “I was tryna come off as smooth. Sorry if I offended. I was gonna use it as a segway to ask you to lunch… Or something.”

You know to not trust anyone, especially guys who randomly walk up to you in public. Regardless, you shrug.

“‘S no problem. Just keep in mind that most girls don’t like when you try to act ‘smooth’,” He seems to deflate at that, and you realize just how young he looks. Rounded cheeks, uncertain expression, a glimmer in his eye that people your age usually lack. Phrasing it like that makes you feel old, but it's an unpleasant truth. Is he a highschooler? You wonder, but you don't bother asking. “But thanks for bringing it back to me, kid.”

“It’s no problem, I–”

“You were just about to leave her alone, right?” Hawks’s voice is syrupy sweet when he cuts in, standing behind the kid with a plastic smile. It’s a grin but its threatening undertones are unmistakable. You've never seen him wear such a hostile expression, too accustomed to the genuine mirth he usually wears like a crown. The feeling in the air has shifted and wrinkled like aluminum foil being crushed in a tight fist. It’s jarring and it’s unpleasant, but you don’t know why it’s here.

The kid seems to shudder, his eyes growing wide. He mutters something rushed, like “yes, sir” and scrambles off, head down. You immediately feel a sense of pity, because you can't imagine how being threatened by the beloved, number two hero must feel.

For a moment, silence settles. Only the loud hum of people walking back and forth, talking to each other, crowding along the chrome halls, reaches you. It’s a new type of silence. As much as you’d like to ask why he just intimidated and scared off a literal child, you don’t know Hawks well enough to judge if that’s a good idea or not.

It’s still baffling, because he’s usually so good in public. He stops to sign autographs and take pictures with eager fans, he’s gentle and caring with children… so why this? The question lingers on the tip of your tongue.

“Sorry for the wait,” He turns around to face you, and his smile is genuine again. It’s syrup and honey, so dazzling that any questions beginning to form vanish in the back of your throat. “You ready?”

“Y-Yeah.” You nod, pushing your feet to move. You don’t know where you want to go, but you know that you don’t want to stay in the middle of the corridor, because people are starting to stare and the air feels stifling.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: hey Janis: I hope you're alright, like Janis: I am and Janis: yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sorry about that Janis: just Janis: family shit Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's not Jimmy: if any dickhead gets that, it's me Janis: yeah Janis: but Janis: I said I'd try Jimmy: we've both said shit Janis: I meant it though Jimmy: that'll be why you're here now then Janis: trying don't mean I'll always get it right Janis: and will you let me in when I am or Jimmy: you know where the spare 🔑 is Jimmy: and I meant when I said I weren't kicking you out Janis: would it help if I explain or don't it matter Jimmy: would it? Janis: I don't know Janis: maybe Janis: so you know it weren't nothing to do with you or Jimmy: would it help you? Janis: I care about you Jimmy: I care about you Jimmy: stalemate that Janis: It's hard Janis: but this is probably easier than in person Janis: for you too, it's Jimmy: I'll put the kettle on then Janis: you'll wanna Janis: just careful you don't scald yourself with any spittakes Jimmy: I'm not at work and Ian's not gonna comp me Jimmy: 💔🎻😭💸 Janis: no flat whites for him Janis: really like this story and all so jokes on you, sir Jimmy: all black everything for him Jimmy: that's the dress code when you're mourning not being 24 still or at whatever point his #heyday began and ended Janis: definitely several jokes to be made there but I'm not really black enough and you look good so Jimmy: there's been enough #bants Jimmy: it's obvs a mancave for lads lads lads the second you leave Janis: gutted, truly Jimmy: #relatable Janis: ugh Janis: right Janis: what have you heard about my sister, Rio Jimmy: she's fit Janis: is that it? Jimmy: yeah why? Jimmy: like I've heard she's a porn star but I didn't feel the need to do a search Janis: just so I know where to start Janis: so that's her, right Janis: but on top of that she Janis: it'll sound like a joke but it ain't so go with it Janis: married our cousin when she was like 18 Jimmy: hang on, your cousin or your mum's friend's kid who you call your auntie but ain't owt to do with you actually Janis: actual cousin Janis: as in they have the same fucking grandparents Jimmy: how did that come about? Janis: good question Janis: this family is fucked Janis: it's not like they didn't know each other growing up or anything, like they didn't know each other from any fucker Janis: it's Jimmy: I get that, the fucked families bit Janis: yeah Janis: well, that was 5 years ago and they did it basically in secret 'cos yeah, they would've been stopped Janis: hopefully Janis: but now they're deciding they need to renew it and force us all to come Janis: and grace just dropped that in a DM like that was something I knew or would be chill with Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: all round Janis: you're telling me Janis: she didn't know I didn't know apparently but still Janis: it's just so Jimmy: you're not gonna go and play happy families Jimmy: why would you Janis: exactly Janis: but they all will Janis: they always do Janis: they've got kids and that's a whole other tale too Jimmy: together? Janis: one, she has one that ain't his too Janis: surprisingly normal looking Jimmy: is it? Janis: [sends Grace's insta] Janis: boys theirs Jimmy: he don't look like a 🐙 or owt Jimmy: your sister must be fit Jimmy: rumour mill got one 🏆 Janis: they're both obsessed with themselves Janis: still think we could've diluted the DNA tbh Jimmy: 😂 Janis: alright, you can laugh Jimmy: sorry Janis: would if it weren't my family Janis: try to anyway Jimmy: she cheated on him and they're still doing another 💍👰? Janis: that's the other story Janis: she was meant to surrogate for my brother Junior Janis: who you'll have heard fuck all about 'cos he keeps to himself and everyone forgets he exists Janis: but then she didn't wanna give it up and it was stupid anyway 'cos he was fresh into uni and dating a lecturer like that situation needs a child Janis: and her life's such a roaring success she should be giving a hand Jimmy: what? Janis: I'll give you a sec Janis: it's literally the most blatant and stupid way she's wrecked a life, like Jimmy: 💔 Mia ain't told me 'cause I thought we had something 💕 Jimmy: but it's alright, I'll live Janis: who knows what Grace told her Janis: that one might actually be family only 'cos as I said, no one gives a fuck about him Janis: he stays well away now, sensible Jimmy: fucking hell, mate Janis: just the local freakshow Janis: it's neverending, the amount of shit there is like that Jimmy: I'll keep it 🤐 about Ian from now on like Jimmy: you can have 🥇 Janis: nah Janis: not a competition Jimmy: is a bit Jimmy: just 🤏 though Janis: well I don't want him feeling left out Janis: still a 🏆 for being an outright twat Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 yet Jimmy: still time to #flex Janis: him and shaz can make it down the aisle 'fore them Jimmy: she ain't been back 🎻🎻 Jimmy: can't keep a mum me Janis: letdown Janis: really wanna be a bridesmaid but can't on principle Jimmy: no 😭😭😭 in my kitchen Jimmy: we're all 💔 Janis: stay strong, boy Jimmy: alright fine I'll bring my proposal forward so we can get 💍 before them Jimmy: stop begging Janis: it'd be worth pissing off the pope to piss them off harder Jimmy: 💕 taking that as a yeah Janis: go on then Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: brb stealing my dad's 💳 to buy a 💎 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: gold or silver? Janis: it's called white gold, so silver but make it expensive #weirdflex Jimmy: #goalsforever Janis: put that in the vows Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: I'm writing them rn Janis: Thanks Janis: for making me feel better Janis: 🤏 Jimmy: if I can't do that then you'd have nowt to come back for Jimmy: have to hang up my boyfriend 😎 Jimmy: put on my 💔 ones Janis: I wasn't leaving you Jimmy: for now Janis: I won't Jimmy: don't promise owt to me, you've been warned, girl Janis: it's a threat Jimmy: hot Jimmy: alright then Janis: I mean it Jimmy: you don't scare me Jimmy: 😘 me or 💀💀💀 me ain't that the phrase Janis: you can't die right now Jimmy: might do Jimmy: you're really beautiful Janis: you don't know Janis: I'm a state Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that's fake news Janis: shh Jimmy: Alright Grace, put your sister back on Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: it's a good thing you can't see her too tbf Janis: not practical having to hide from you for life when you marry in Jimmy: wait, you're with her? Jimmy: I'll hide the body but bit of warning, babe Janis: ha Janis: yeah Janis: IOU on the rescue she wanted to cash Jimmy: if Mia's there an' all & you don't say hey from me I'll be fuming Janis: she's definitely not Jimmy: have you checked the boot? 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: folds up like paper, her Janis: wouldn't pit it past her Janis: I'll dry my eyes and get on it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tell Grace she ain't having a tea unless she's 💰💰 Janis: She's taking my spare bed at nans Janis: musical faves atm Jimmy: I won't go throw shit at her window tonight then Jimmy: tah for the head's up Jimmy: soon my dear 💕👵 Janis: subtle Janis: find somewhere else to kip, it's alright, like Jimmy: no Janis: 💕 Jimmy: I mean it, don't Janis: okay Janis: if you'll have me Jimmy: I want you Janis: I love you Jimmy: do you? Janis: I said it like Jimmy: yeah but Janis: you can pretend I didn't Jimmy: we don't do that it's like the only rule Janis: if you need a free pass then take it Jimmy: I'm not saying I do Jimmy: just Jimmy: It's nowt I ain't heard before and Jimmy: for what? Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: she said it and she still went Jimmy: my mum Janis: it's okay, it doesn't have to mean anything Janis: I already didn't promise you, yeah Jimmy: it's not Janis: no Janis: it's not Janis: but Janis: I don't know Jimmy: why couldn't she just Jimmy: why did he have to be so Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: it's bullshit Janis: and it's unfair Jimmy: you know that I Jimmy: so important you Jimmy: Alright? Janis: I know Janis: it's all good Janis: isn't it Jimmy: Yeah Janis: I'm sorry everythings shit Jimmy: not everything is Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I like you too Janis: you're about all I do like Janis: no pressure Jimmy: is that what you wanted it to mean? Jimmy: when you said Janis: I meant Janis: that I give a shit about you and I think you're funny and nice and fit and I wanna be around you Janis: and I don't wanna fuck you over Jimmy: then I love you too Janis: yeah? Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: allright Janis: I'll come in then Jimmy: were you waiting for me to say it before you got off the doorstep or what? Janis: not exactly Jimmy: [is at the door like oh hey] Janis: [the most dramatic hug flinging yourself at him like it's been 84 years 'cos lowkey] Jimmy: [we're never letting go bitch thank god its april and not the dead of winter] Janis: [you need all the moments so deal] Jimmy: [has he ever held onto anyone this tightly, no he has not] Janis: [the casual state she is godbless] Jimmy: [when you still look more beautiful than anyone ever probably] Janis: [rude] Jimmy: [this is why Grace hates you girl but pop off] Janis: [when you say it out loud but really quiet] Jimmy: [just really snuggling into her like we're not all dying okay bye] Janis: [just saying how she's gonna stay and how scary it was and not making a whole load of sense 'cos didn't even get to that bit honey] Jimmy: [all the comforting touches ever because now isn't the moment to be like um what but we'll get to it] Janis: [too much to try and be reasonable and logical rn 'is everyone asleep?'] Jimmy: [nodding because you can't trust yourself to speak rn because if you start what are you even gonna say like] Janis: [just like yes good 'cos we don't need to be starting any more scenes do we 'this was not how I planned any of this going'] Jimmy: [especially not with Ian cos at least cali wouldn't give you a slap 'bit shit at plans, us'] Janis: [nods and does a little lol like 'understatement'] Jimmy: [just sitting on the step so you can 🚬 cos so needed but pulling her into your lap cos you don't wanna let go still] Janis: [could be worse, could be meth] Jimmy: [true facts] Janis: [now everyone calm] Jimmy: [take all the moments you can to be soft] Janis: [just got no business being this close and smoking but at least you both are so it's fine] Jimmy: [I'd die literally] Janis: [my poor boo can't speak 'cos she can't breathe] Jimmy: [don't like set anything on fire either tbh] Janis: [lmao not a mood] Jimmy: [that'd be next level drama] Janis: [winnie drama] Jimmy: [that silly old bear] Janis: ['is my tea going cold?'] Jimmy: [lols because he's obvs not made it yet because #distracted we've all been there boy just put the kettle on and get no further like] Jimmy: [but puts his hand out like help me up so they can go inside] Janis: [does but pulls him towards her first and is just looking like !!?! all the emotions] Jimmy: [says 'what' in the softest way literally ever] Janis: [just gonna kiss him but so soft 'cos you're unsure but also don't know where to begin with anything] Jimmy: [all the soft kisses and comfort ever because he's never seen her like this before so he's like must not say or do the wrong thing] Janis: [have a brew lads] Jimmy: [fixes everything so actually go and make it boy give her chance to work out how she's gonna do this like] Janis: [makes me lol but also sad like there's so much you gotta explain before you can get to the now] Jimmy: [literally like no wonder Grace don't wanna see a therapist how exhausting] Janis: when did your mum go Jimmy: does it matter? Jimmy: she's not gonna show up here tonight Jimmy: you're alright Janis: obviously Janis: just thinking Jimmy: what? Jimmy: we've got enough milk to see us through if that's what she went for Janis: doesn't matter Jimmy: go on Janis: if it was about the same time Janis: as my sister Janis: Bobby is 6, yeah Jimmy: She didn't leave him in the hospital or owt like that Jimmy: let him get to nursery age, like Janis: that's something Jimmy: might've been better Jimmy: wouldn't remember her then Janis: does he Janis: remember, like Jimmy: a bit Janis: yeah Janis: Grace said he asked if she had a mum Janis: at the fair Jimmy: he's always doing that Jimmy: tries to go home with kids if he likes the look of theirs an' all Janis: fair Jimmy: 💔 I can't get away with it, me Janis: you probably could Janis: some of them have very unsatisfying marriages, babe Jimmy: just trying to get a tea I don't have to cook myself, babe Jimmy: but tah Janis: don't get nothing in this life for free Janis: soz Jimmy: alright, rich girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you're taking forever Janis: am I getting a biscuit too, like Jimmy: ruin the surprise Janis: I can pretend Jimmy: you're not that good of an actress Janis: rude Jimmy: only if that's your back up career Jimmy: and you'd have to get well fed up of the modelling first Jimmy: unlikely love the 📷 you Janis: now I'm an attention seeker Janis: charming Janis: and the 📷 loves me, tah Jimmy: nah just a 🥇 muse Jimmy: so supportive of my talents you Janis: you are good Janis: no lie Jimmy: [brings in the tea and a mug cake he has made for her to be comforting cos cute nerd] Janis: [what a sweet boy] Jimmy: [when that's about the extent of your cooking ability bless him] Janis: ['you're so-' does 🙏 hands to show 😇] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [she sits she sips] Jimmy: [likewise just drinking that tea] Janis: [just shrugging 'cos gotta be blase like this is so casual and matter of fact okay 'my sister did run away, like, but then she had a car crash so, dead now'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ???!! cos what can you even say 'shit, sorry' so awks] Janis: ['was four years ago so it's whatever'] Jimmy: ['did she leave 'cause of all that bollocks with your sister and cousin?'] Janis: ['partially but Janis: 'partially but-' sighs 'she was fucked up because she weren't my dads, third kid in and white, not an easy time'] Jimmy: [just looking at her cos even if you have heard that rumour you'd have thought it was too ridiculous to be true] Janis: [nods like yeah, I know] Jimmy: ['I get why you don't wanna be here, it were like that for us before we moved an' all' a shrug too because obvs also so casual for you] Janis: ['people must've had a field day' sympathetic look 'probably why I said yeah, to the plan, why I give a shit what people say still' shakes her head 'stupid but'] Jimmy: [when you're just having a moment remembering what it was like and you have to shake yourself out of it cos not about you rn 'people are twats, no dickhead but Ian's loving that kind of attention' gives her a look like you're not stupid] Janis: [giving him a nudge like sorry but not wanting to say it 'cos what use is it] Jimmy: [giving her one back as a shameless excuse to then just lean into her shoulder with his for an age like it's not a hug it's so casual bye] Janis: [leaning into it too, which is good 'cos voice is strained now 'cos emotions 'but she thought it was fucked up too, what they're doing, what they all do, she got it, you know'] Jimmy: [nodding cos he agrees that it is fucked up and is also having many emotions but eye contact anyway because wants her to know he gets it and is not going anywhere even though he doesn't know what to do or say about any of this really] Janis: [maintaining even though you'd be trying really hard not to cry for a hot sec there before being so meh it's chill again 'cos easier lbr 'know this is a lot but otherwise you'll just think I'm even weirder, yeah'] Jimmy: [touching her hair for literally no reason like is it even in the way, probably not 'everyone's got something that makes them weird, but you're alright an' all, got loads more shit going for you that counts towards that'] Janis: ['I don't wanna mess this up' and then going in on a kiss 'cos that'll fix this] Jimmy: [letting it happen even though you probably shouldn't because you just wanna make her feel better and also don't want her to think you think she's weird/you don't want her anymore when you obvs love her] Janis: [will stop at a kiss 'cos it'd be clear he weren't into it like per and we don't need that to be a thing for either of you] Jimmy: ['I ain't gonna let you mess this up if you don't let me either' holds his hand out like shake on it with me cos nerd] Janis: [is like 😏 really? but does] Jimmy: [then draws a heart on her with his fingertip like he did at Cali's but on her palm this time after the handshake] Janis: ['you really are the biggest nerd though' but 😍] Jimmy: ['piss off' but a little genuine smile] Janis: ['still like you anyway'] Jimmy: [😏 a look like yeah? and a IRL 👍 because committed to being a nerd now] Janis: ['don't push it, mate'] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her but really soft] Janis: [playfight forever] Jimmy: [just 😍 the whole time like] Janis: ['you really are so'] Jimmy: ['I like you so much'] Janis: [nods 'cos words are risky] Jimmy: ['I- I love you so much'] Janis: ['I love you too, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [gotta just hide your face in a snuggle because dying]

[loneleesoul]

Starker: Party Games Pt. 2

dang, this is turning into a lil story, im loving this and I hope you love it too.

💙💙💙

"Isn't that breaking the rules of the game?" Peter decides to be brave in his last living moments.

"I won't tell anyone." Tony whispers, walking closer to Peter.

He gives in, fear taking over. "Who are you the most afraid of here?" He sighs, not looking at Tony.

To Peter's surprise, Tony laughs. "Seriously? That's so pathetic Parker." He laughs as Peter sends a text to Aunt May to get him.

Ned would forgive him, if he survived this conversation.

"Of course, Ned is so not like that.. I got angry over nothing." Tony shrugs and Peter stares. "You aren't mad now? Aren't you always mad at pathetic poor pitiful Peter Parker?" Now Peter's mad. "You wonder why I said no to getting trapped in a room with you? For one I'm terrified of you and two, that's like accepting you beating me up..letting you beat me up by voluntarily being alone with you. But whatever, you beat me up weekly anyways."

Tony looks a bit shocked and Peter brushes past him to go get Ned. He's fuming, smoke from the ears mad.

He finds Ned talking to the girl he accidentally offended earlier and just drags him away. "We are leaving right now."

And Ned knows well enough to not anger a mad Peter, it mainly ends in frustrated tears actually.

They walk past Tony and walk to May's car. "What happened?" Is May's first words and Ned shakes his head in a warning. "Can we just go home please."

__________

Everyone seemed shocked to see Peter show up at school the next day. Except for Tony, which Peter hadn't seen and was trying to avoid. Some people even asked how he had survived Tony's wrath.

If anything, some could say that Tony was glad to come out of an angry conversation with Peter unscathed. Peter, of course, has never hit anyone or wanted to hit anyone.

Peter nearly makes it through history without Tony, when he shows up seven minutes before the bell rings.

He audibly curses when Tony walks through the door, earning himself a detention. He's glad Tony didn't hear the words "motherfucking shit nugget!!" aimed at him.

"Late Stark, detention." The teacher barks at Tony, who ignores her.

Now's a really good time to use the phrase motherfucking shit nugget.

Tony doesn't say a word or even look at him all class, which shocks Peter.

Ned even notices, and shrugs at Peter across the classroom.

Tony doesn't seem fuming angry like last night, or pissed off like when he speaks to Peter. It's like, the moment he saw him at the party last night he had changed.

Now, Peter's starting to guess what Tony really wanted to do in that room.

Beating Peter up seemed to have made the most sense, but it was a room for that.

There's no way.

There's absolutely no way.

That Tony Stark... could like Peter Parker.

__________

The moment the bell rings Peter follows Ned out, hoping he'd be some form of protection.

Wait, if Tony wasn't mad at him did Peter really need protection?

"Come on Peter, don't be late to detention.. you are already in enough trouble." Ned tries to push him away but Peter's glued to him. "No way dude, I'm waiting until Stark is already in there so he won't sit by me."

Ned rolls his eyes "He's always late though, wanna come over for dinner? My mom's making something she found off of pinterest." He gleams with pride for his mother and Peter laughs.

"Do you mean you found it and showed it to her? I've seen your pinterest Ned, nothing but Beyonce and baking videos." They stand outside the detention room.

"Very funny Peter, now go.. I don't want to be associated with a rule breaking hooligan." He pushes him through the door and walks away.

And just as Peter had hoped, Stark was already in the room. Staring of course as Peter sits far from him.

He takes a seat next to Michelle, who nods at him. "What are you in for?"

"Saying a curse word." He winces, realising how stupid it actually was. She raises her brows at him."I say fuck on the daily and never get reprimanded, what could you have possibly said to get put in here?"

"Motherfucking shit nugget." He whispers, mindful of the few people near them.

Michelle gasps in fake shock. "What a bad curse word, wanna play War?" She pulls out a deck of cards.

"Sure, I'm not that good so it'll be a short game." He admits with a shrug and Michelle looks around the room. "Hey he's pretty cool.. Stark, get over here."

Peter grabs her arm and hisses a menacing "You are the motherfucking shit nugget now."

She smiles as Tony walks over "Yeah MJ?" He pulls a chair up to her desk as she holds up the cards. "War."

"Sure, I'll kick your ass." It's as if Peter isn't here.

That's why he stays silent for the first few minutes. Unsure of what was going on in Tony's mind, he hadn't gotten a beating this week yet. He could slam his head down on the desk, shattering his nose and the teacher wouldn't even notice.

"Peter, go." Tony mutters, waiting for him to put his card down.

So he does realize Peter is here. He places down a card and a few seconds later, ends up losing even more cards to Michelle.

Peter stares anxiously at the few unturned cards in his hand, he was going to lose. "Scared Parker?" Michelle taunts and Peter scoffs. "Sometimes you gotta sacrifice your soldiers to end up winning the battle."

Tony snorts, amused but staying silent. Woah, that's a first. He usually laughs at his pain or struggles.

Peter still loses, all his cards now with Michelle, who wins overall. "Bitch, who kicked your ass? I kicked your ass! Biiiitch, who kicked your ass? I kicked your ass!" She cheers and Tony rolls his eyes. "I totally had that game, and you were totally looking at your cards the whole time." He groans defensively and Michelle tosses the cards all over her desk.

"Loser, 52 card pickup." She points at the splattered pile half on the floor half on the desk. Peter sighs, bending down to get all of the cards from the dirty floor.

"You need to up your game Parker, next time you call someone a motherfucking shit nugget you better have practiced before." She says as he puts all of the cards back in the box.

"Hey, it's technically a game of luck, what cards you get."

Ok something is seriously wrong. Peter stares in wonder, was that Tony defending him. "Is that why you lost? You got bad cards?" Michelle puts the box in her bag and slings it over her shoulder.

"Let's go to dinner, loser over here can pay.. right?" Her eyebrows are raised in a threating sort of way.

"I can't, Michelle I'll buy you dinner some other time. I'm already going over to Ned's." He's mindful of Tony's stare.

Has he always been staring at him and Peter just never noticed?

"This is why nobody likes you, I'll hold you up on that offer.. Toe-knee you are welcome to have him pay for you too." She gives a lame finger-guns snap before walking out.

It's already too uncomfortable for Peter to bear and he stands, chair squeaking awkwardly.

"Peter..." Tony's quiet and Peter pretends to not hear him and he grabs his bag. It's almost been 30 minutes and Peter sees no harm in leaving early.

Aunt May's texted him saying she's outside, and sweet freedom.

Until a hand grabs his wrist, pulling hard.

He stumbles back, legs buckling and he falls into Tony's chest. His muscular arms hold Peter tight, as Peter struggles.

This is it, Tony was holding in all of his rage for now. He was a goner.

"Peter." Tony mumbles, and it's almost like they're hugging.

"Tony please let me go... I'm so sorry for yelling at you just please don't hit me again." He begs, remembering he still had some bruises from last week.

Tony lets him go and Peter turns to face him quickly. "I'm sorry." He's so damn quiet.

"Look.. it's fine, my ride is here and I really need to go." He says, walking backwards slowly. He waits for a reply but is met with staring silence.

He turns and quickly walks out the doors.

__________

Damn it Stark, fucking pussy.

He watches Parker run out the doors and groans.

So weak, just tell the little shit already.

Last night, Peter had opened Tony's eyes. Shocked him to the very core.

He realized that he was seriously hurting him, which should've been obvious.

Besides yes, beating him up, emotionally hurting him. How could Tony not have seen it before? How shy he was, anxiety, never ate, didn't defend himself because he thought everything said of him was true.

I'm such an asshole.

Stuck in the cliché of bullying the person you like.

Peter would never ever want to be with him, it's like he said. "I'm terrified of you..."

It was like Tony had been shot, and he deserved all of the pain.

This boy would never say yes to Tony, ever... He'd think of it as a joke or ask if cameras were around.

He wishes he had his number, or any way to contact him. Spamming him would eventually work.

Maybe treating him like shit wasn't the best approach.

He needs to change.

[toraberaa]

“Out of this world!”  those were the words that I uttered after witnessing the impeccable beauty of Mt. Ijen.

Mt. Ijen is not just an ordinary mountain. It is a volcano. And not just an ordinary volcano but an active one. It is a stratovolcano which sits 2,799 meters above sea level (9,183 ft). A hazardous volcano that emits toxic fumes and a home for highly acidic lake.

Literally, it was a “hell” and figuratively speaking as well. My hike was hellish. There were too many struggles I faced. I know that without these hardships, the story that I would tell will be definitely lame. Kidding! Nevertheless, I overcame it and I was rewarded with a beautiful sight. I saw a “heaven”. It was a bizarre feeling. I’ve never seen so sublime in my life. It’s a mixture of apocalypse and nirvana. A violent act of nature. Many of the locals said this phrase “Eye on Heaven, Foot in Hell”.  It’s amazing how these two places coincide. How God beautifully designed it.

With that said, I entitled this as “Where Heaven and Hell meets”

Day Minus Zero

It was August 6, 2018 when I left Bali. A day after magnitude 7.0 earthquake hit it. I thought on myself that it was far from the epicenter thus, it was much safer to go on high areas. I was worried that there would be a tsunami at that time. Nah. Who was I kidding? I just surfed earlier on that morning and the real reason was, I scheduled to go on that day based on my plan. The D-day.

It was hot and sunny in Bali and for few hours and kilometers away, I was welcomed by drizzle at Banyuwangi. (I will edit this post later to provide info on how to go to Banyuwangi from Bali)

Loooong and winding road

Approximately 5 hours of bus ride, I arrived at Ketapang port at 8:30 PM. There were only few people around and it feels like it’s already late at night. It was difficult to hail a taxi or even an ojek (motorcycle taxi). No one shows available too in Grab. I went to convenience store and asked around. Some can’t understand English. Somehow I could tell that they understood what I’m trying to convey and they were willing to help. They referred me to a cab who knows a little bit of English and said repeatedly “House stay?” I said “Yes. Mango home stay” and hopped in. I hoped we were at the same page after I confirmed. I checked on my GPS and it was a relief that he knows where we were heading.

I arrived at Mango Tree House Home Stay and I paid him 40.000 IDR.

The Mango Tree House Home stay

“Philippines?” Mr. Arif, the owner of the house, greeted me. I acknowledged him with a nod. He said he was waiting for me. As we entered the house, he asked me again “Tea or coffee?” “Coffee will do.” I replied.

While he was heating the pot, he showed me my room. It doesn’t have an air condition but it have an electric fan. It’s okay since it was cold. The room have also a single pillow and a bed. That’s it! You get what you pay for. (By the way, the room was only 65.000 IDR) The room was just good enough for an overnight. After all, I just came here for Mt. Ijen.

House Special!

Mr. Arif served the coffee and we just had a conversation. We talked about my experience in Indonesia, difference of our countries (because Indonesia and Philippines were kinda the same) and other stuff. He had a good sense of humor and very entertaining. A moment later, another guests arrived. Mr. Arif introduced the new guests to me. They were a German couple who came from Probolinggo, just after the Mt. Bromo tour. He said I would be joining them for the Mt. Ijen tour tonight as well as the two Italians who arrived earlier than us. And guess what, they were also a couple. (Not jealous. lol!) Mr. Arif told us that he was still waiting for the French guy to arrive. I was hoping. Not that I wanted to be a fifth wheel but it must be a minimum of 6 persons to avail the package to Mt. Ijen.

As the night getting late, Mr. Arif suggested to take quick dinner near the home stay. The German couple decided to take a rest while I took a quick dinner at warungs (a small family owned business restaurant).

Solved! My dinner for 15.000 IDR only

The tour will start by 12 AM. It was 10 PM already. I went back to the home stay and took a quick nap.

V

I woke up exactly 11 PM. I packed up for the things I needed — headlights, gloves, jacket, camera and etc. Checked! I went to the living room and I didn’t saw yet the Italians and Germans at the living room. Maybe I was too early? I guessed I was really excited for this tour (which was true). I wished I stayed a little longer in bed.

I saw new faces in the living room. The French guy was already there, along with two lovely gals who were also French. He said that he was too tired and he would not go for Mt. Ijen tonight while the two gals were scheduled tomorrow.

We had a little chit-chat. Yes, only a little. They were talking in their native language. Since I can’t understand them, my mind wandered and I imagined The Little Prince. (LOL!) The younger lady (too bad, I couldn’t remember her name) was so considerate as she kept me entertained. She even asked the others to speak in English so I could also join their conversation.

Few minutes passed, they showed up. So it would be just a group of five — 1 Filipino, 2 Germans, and 2 Italians. Good thing that Mr. Arif was really kind. He didn’t want to disappoint us. Instead we avail the package tour from the agencies, he would be the one who will drive us to Mt. Ijen.

The Road to Mt. Ijen

From the start, it was already a challenge, the weather condition was not that good. It’s drizzling. We were starting to doubt if we could see the blue fire tonight. Blue fire is one of unnatural phenomenon that is happening in Banyuwangi. I believed this was also the reason why travelers would go here. Mr. Arif said that “We can’t tell. It’s nature.” He seems to have a good point. After all, nature is really unpredictable. But he also made our hopes high and said “But you will go above the clouds, so it will not be raining.”

“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.” – Zig Ziglar

Around 12:30 AM, we leave at the home stay and drove towards Mt. Ijen. It would be a long drive for about an hour. I sat at the front seat while the others continue to rest at the back seats. I can’t catch some nap even I wanted to. Plus, I sat next to Mr. Arif. I should keep him a company and needed him to stay awake. With this, I just witnessed how difficult the roads to Mt. Ijen.

Excessive moisture in the window.

It had a zigzag road. For a few moments, the roads turned to a jungle with no lights on the road — trusting only the headlights that the car provides. The road also became muddy due to the weather condition. As we went higher, the fogs appeared. Mr. Arif wiped the windshield every time as the window had moist. I’m very glad that Mr. Arif was a skillful driver and knew the road.

The Base Camp

We reached the Base Camp at 1:36 AM. Mr. Arif handed us gas masks. After that, Mr. Arif called me and told me the best tip ever. “This is the only tip I can give to you. At the counter, say “Satu” (it means one) and just give 10.000″.  We both knew that I looked like an Indonesian. The price difference from foreigner to locals was 90.000 IDR. Good guy Mr. Arif!

Mr. Arif guided the others and I headed to the ticket office alone. I needed to be alone to pull this trick. When I got there, I followed his advice. I confidently said “Satu!” as if I spoke a magical phrase “Open sesame!” in One Thousand and One Nights. However, the ticket officer said something I didn’t know. I repeated “Satu!” but the stare of the officer didn’t quite look good. (Uh-oh! Busted!) Our plan didn’t worked out. The ticket officer went outside and that moment I thought I would be penalized or could be worse. But he just pointed me where I should buy. He meant “Where the foreigners should buy”. Whew! I think this was not the first time it happened to them. Some also tried this scheme perhaps. But what embarrassed me more was when he spoke to me and I tried to push a little harder saying random Indonesian words that I learned. I believed in his mind you would read “Nice try!”. (LOL!)

I went back to our group and paid the foreign price. “What happened?” the group questioned. I reported and I said “I think he was asking for smaller bill. I saw the ticket it was only 5.000 IDR. Maybe it’s something with my accent too.” Mr. Arif said that someone might already overheard us and tipped the officer. “Too bad.” Mr. Arif responded with a chuckle and patted my back. “It’s okay!” I replied. Well, it’s actually fine. No regrets. Although the price difference were very significant, to be honest, spending 100.000 IDR was already cheap for the exchange for what we would discover later. (I’m telling you now that it was very worthy after I finished the hike.)

Jump Off

We started at 1:58 am. This was where the real struggle began. First, it was cold. Maybe because we were already in high altitude and rain also contributed. They said that the temperature sometimes drop from 15°C to 10°C. Second, it was dark. Pitch dark. It was nice that I bought a headlamp since it was not included in the trip. Third, we have no tour guide either. Even though if we avail the package, the tour guide was excluded. Mr. Arif told us that it wasn’t required and we don’t need to. “Mt. Ijen trail had only one trail — where you enter is where you exit. Just follow the crowd and you will not get lost.” He was right. There were many people who were also hiking. These people were not only tourist. Some were just local people — guides and miners. Yes, the sulfur miners. And so on and so on.

The gates were already open.

Our group, the Mango Tree House party (I made that up inside of my head), agreed that we could walk together instead doing by yourselves. While walking, I introduced myself and started a conversation. The name of German couple were Patrick and his girlfriend (Sorry! I forgot the name!) And the name of Italian couple were Andrea and her boyfriend. (Yes…I also forgot the name.) The Italian couple didn’t talk too much. It was Patrick’s girlfriend who talked to me a lot. That was why it was a shame to forget her name. (If you ever found my blog and read this. Let me know so I can apologize.).

Along the way, we saw some locals who had a push cart. This is what they called “Human Taxi”. Some says it costs around 400.000 IDR in exchange that they would take you to the top.

The Struggle is Real

Few minutes later, I felt that I’m having difficulty to walk. Besides that it was still raining and that makes the terrain slippery. But because I surfed before I went here, it’s now paying toll on me. I felt the pain in my upper body and I got blisters on my toes. Although minimal, I felt the irritating pain every time I took a step. I was thinking why I did that knowing that I would hike later. Nevertheless, the show must go on. And by speaking, while hiking, I still managed to document or video myself.

We saw a shed. I took some minutes to rest, while others went to toilet. Some also put layers on their body. This was supposed to be our last stop, and we should moved all the way from the top..well..uhmm let me repeat that. This was supposed to be “their” last stop. Because for me, it’s not. As we back on track again, I felt now the fatigue and every steps were now heavy. My heart was pounding like a jack hammer. I was leading before on our group (excited too much) and now I was lagging behind. Their stamina was fascinating. I knew I haven’t had a good rest just like them. That’s what I told to myself just to fool my mind.

“You are in the cottage”

We arrived at the “cafeteria”. I stopped again and took a rest for a while. It was my life saver! I was a fool that I forgot to brought water. If there’s no store available, I might desperately beg someone to give me some water. After I bought a bottled water, I gulped it immediately. As I checked my group, they were nowhere in my sight. I lost them and I think they didn’t notice me. That’s why I said that was our  their last stop because I realized they didn’t took a break here.

I proceeded even without them and just a few moments later, the nature called me. I wanted pee. I don’t know if there would be another stop after the cafeteria. I don’t want even to go back there. I went astray and I did the “tabi-tabi po” style (common Filipino culture) and asked Mt. Ijen for forgiveness. Thank goodness it was pitch dark.

To the Summit

We needed to be on top quickly. It’s because blue fire only show itself in darkness. This was also the reason why we needed to hike at midnight. It would not be longer visible once the sun had risen.

I moved quickly as I needed to catch up with Mango Tree House party. I hoped that at some point I would see them. And just when I thought. They were there, waiting and searching for me. I heard from afar “It is him?” as I went closer to them. I saw their faces with a sign of relief. All of them were worried about me. They asked if I’m okay. I answered them that I’m fine and I apologized to them. I suggested that they could continue without me. I don’t want to become a burden or the reason why they will not see the blue fire. Still, Patrick’s girlfriend insisted “No, you can tell us if you want to have a break. We will wait for you. Okay?” Isn’t she sweet? (It was really a shame that I forgot her name. I wish one day, I will remember it.)

When we got back on track again, she noticed that I’m running out of breath and curiously asked me “Do you smoke?” I honestly replied “No, I’m just fat.” and she laughed.

I stopped recording and documentation for a while to save some energy.

MDPL means meter dari permukaan laut which literally translated as meters above sea level (MASL)

We were already walking for about 2 hours from the start. They said that 3 hours was the average time to reach the top. I felt we were already near. I saw already the caldera and the trail changed to flat terrain. At 3:26 AM, we finally made it to the top.

To the Dragon’s Nest

Actually, to went down close to the crater was prohibited. Only the workers (sulfur miners) were allowed. Not to mention that it was dangerous, but it was also slippery at that time. However, many of the visitors ignored this warning and continue their way to the crater. It was at your own risk. We talked to each other if we wanted to continue. It was early to go back and we decided to continue our way.

The trail going down was very narrow. At least one person could fit in. There were no hand rails. One wrong step and you would fall. Take note that the terrain here was rocky. To jump or skip would make stones or rocks fall.

We, the uninvited guests, were attacked by the vile stench of Mt. Ijen halfway down the steep trail. It was an acrid and sour smell. From here, we wore our gas mask. This made hard for me to breathe.

This was the time, Patrick and his girlfriend turned around and decided to go back.  I was behind them and I could tell that they were having a difficulty going down. They said it was very dangerous and they don’t wanted to risk it.  I didn’t persist. They wished me good luck and I replied them to take care. (Later, when we were on our way to house stay. Patrick was vomiting along the way and got sick. It was a good call for them to turned back.) 

As for the Italian couple, who were just right behind me. I saw that they hired a guide who gave them a helping hand when descending. They were now in good hands and we parted away from each other as I had to do breaks. So from here, I did it on my own.

The Devil’s Gold and the Ijen Warriors

I saw sulfur miners as I moved closer to the crater. According to some, these sulfur miners carries a load for about 30-50 kg (60-110 lbs) for each basket. If you ever saw them along the way, please stop for a while and give way. I also noticed that some of them didn’t have proper equipment, they didn’t wear gloves and gas masks. Despite the dangers and the risks they could encounter, as I heard, most of them went twice on a single day to doubled their sulfur mine. And you may probably wouldn’t believe that the cost of their tough grind is only 800 IDR per kilo.

These sulfur miners were the real mutants. Where did they get their superpowers? This probably one of the toughest job in the world! With their amazing feat, they have earned respect and fascination on the tourist. Some of them tried to carry the loads or took some photographs with them and leave a small tip. Some gave things like cigarettes which they said to be their favorite, which was kinda ironic. While some of the sulfur miners created souvenirs for extra income. These were shaped sulfur which comes in different shapes and size with a cost of 10.000-50.000 IDR. I bought a teddy bear shaped sulfur for 20.000 IDR for keepsake and to helped them. Please don’t haggle anymore.

The yellow ore is the sulfur. This is already extracted from the volcano.

Behind me is what they called “Devil’s Gold” where the sulfur miners risked their lives for these.

The Heart of Mt. Ijen

I arrived at the crater at 4:15 AM. They were already a lot of people waiting for the blue fire. As I stood on the ground and took a rest, I saw people who were still going down. I was fascinated to saw the alternating lights, blinking and flickering. Looked back how far that I got just to arrived here.

What I saw afterwards was more fascinating than this. As I extended my sight upwards, I saw the illumination of the moon and the brilliant stars. I saw the Milky Way and a glimpse of the universe. What a lovely sight to see. I stared for a while and made me forget the exhaustion even just for a second.

I was worried if the blue fire would appear tonight. So I looked around for the other spot. And I finally saw the blue fire.I said “This is it?”  A stranger replied “Yeah, it’s the blue fire”. Deep inside I know it’s the “blue fire”. A fire that was blue. But it’s not what I pictured based on what I Googled and it was just a small one. It looks like the one you could see when you light up a denatured alcohol or a flame in your stove. At that time, my headlamp was still on. But even after I turned it off, I appreciated it somehow.

The Eccentric Blue Fire

11 minutes passed and the blue fire finally appeared. The one that I was expecting. We were all in awe. All of us in crowd said “Wow!” in chorus. I moved closer to the blue fire. We all know that the blue flame was the hottest and the most intense part of a fire. They said that it could be at 600°C yet I can’t feel hot nearby the blue fire. I haven’t thought of this at that time. I was overjoyed I guess. But I admitted that I was reckless at that time.

I stopped recording and just watched the marvels of the world.

There are only two places in the world that the blue fire can be observe — Iceland and Indonesia.

While Indonesia is just close to Philippines, it has also a larger blue fire area compared to Iceland.

It looks like a lava, that’s why most of the people mistakenly called it as “blue lava”. The flames were so pure and so mystical. It was like a heart of Mt. Ijen, burning so brightly indicating its life force. Once the flames go out, it would lose its appeal. Eventually, that happened.

The Blue Acid Lake

After some time, they extinguished the fire and we were now enveloped in toxic fumes. This was the time our gas masks became really useful. These smokes were very nasty. Even with our gas masks on, I could still inhale the smoke that I needed to stop my breathing for a while. It was also irritating to the eyes. It singed that made our eyes teared.

As the show already finished, like what I said earlier, some people started to climb back. Even we were engulfed by smoke, I chose to stay for several reasons. They were still people going down. With the trail so steep and it’s still dark, I was worried about the traffic and there might be falling rocks or debris. I might also lose my balance and fall. If I stay, it would be a perfect time to recover and saved some strength. To add, it’s too early to went back. I wanted to see the blue acid lake. I have checked where the blue acid lake located. It was still dark at that time and I’m unable to appreciate its true beauty.

I looked for a spot and hid behind a big rock. At least, it would protect me from toxic smoke. In order to survive until sunrise, I needed to stay low, curl down, closed my eyes, and stopped my breath.

Around 5:43 AM, as dawn washed the darkness from the sky, the blue acid lake was revealed to be an enchanted beauty. I have seen similar turquoise blue water in Kawasan Falls at Cebu, Philippines and Kuang Si Falls at Luang Prabang, Laos but this was an exception. It was not the type of waters you want to dive into.

It was deceptively beautiful!

Mt. Ijen is also known for the World’s Most Highly Acidic Lake. (Hitting two birds in one stone) According to research, it has a pH lower than the battery acid or almost zero.

I wished I could stay longer to admire the acidic lake. However, I already ran out of luck and the toxic smoke was slowly engulfing us. I couldn’t take it anymore and my body was now reacting to it. Short-term exposure to highly concentrated levels of toxic smoke could be deadly. It could lead to breathing difficulties, may burn the lungs, corrode the skin and can even melt your teeth. Yikes! It’s time to go back.

After Dark

It was 6:37 AM when I reached Mt. Ijen’s peak again. This time, I was greeted of an awe-inspiring sight. The sun light slowly gleaming the caldera. The sky was deep blue and the cloud was the same height as where I stood as if my hands could reach it. The cold wind blew so strong you could hear its whistle. The field became lunar-liked as if I was transported or stepped on another planet. While revisiting the sight of blue acid lake and smoke came from the sulfur, it somehow reminded me of the movie “The Planet of the Apes”. So calm yet, destructive. I also like the blending of colors — bright yellow and turquoise blue.

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I never had this scene in my entire travel. This was what the philosophers called “the sublime”.

Totally out of this world!

Below was a short impromptu documentary that I made. Enjoy! 🙂

Sometimes, the most phenomenal things in life require a little danger, and climbing Mt. Ijen certainly is one of them.

Mt. Ijen – Where Heaven and Hell Meets "Out of this world!"  those were the words that I uttered after witnessing the impeccable beauty of Mt.

[sanoiro]

Housebreaking the Devil

The Deckerstar Network Christmas Exchange @thedeckerstarnetwork 

For @luxxiiee

Prompt Placebo - Hold on to me

Dragging a six-two feet blue spruce by herself just three days before Christmas had not been the plan. All the green firs were gone by the time Chloe had given up on reminding Maze that a tree was actually needed for the holidays and took upon her the task of finding one. 

There were of course none in the wider area by the time she had actually tried to find one. The only upturn at some point was that the seller had persuaded her that blue spruces were supposed to be lighter than green firs.

'They bloody well weren’t.' She thought, mocking once again her partner's British accent. 

Three steps forward with a half a second puffing and huffing had been the best she could do with the plastic cord digging in her already bruised flesh. Taking a long moment to rest she set her hands on her aching back and swore silently on everyone who had bolted their merry way today and out of this chore.

Maze had claimed a San Diego bounty which would mean she would appear again around the New Years something that suited Chloe's schedule just fine. Then there was Lucifer who for the past few weeks was following the Lieutenant like a moonstruck teen. That alone had Ella wither quietly in her lab with the blinds closed.

Lucifer’s persistence to shadow Marcus was expected by most to raise another yell out of their mild-mannered boss, however oddly enough that never happened. Hence why she was no longer surprised when her partner, in name only nowadays, had disappeared from the precinct around noon.

Wrapping the slippery cord around her wrist once more Chloe lastly damned her Ex. Dan was one of the reasons she had found herself with a tree to carry, an almost Ex to inexplicably mourn and of course a teenage crush on her superior at work.

An Ex who was currently calling her, no doubt in order to get off his babysitting duty and who was lucky enough to have a possible romantic relationship to freely pursue this Christmas.

“I’m almost at the door, with a tree and-“

“Where is Trixie?!” He demanded in alarm, his fingertips coming to a total stop. Fingertips drumming on the wheel meant that he was at a stakeout. 

“Not with me and I assume and hope not with you either! Where is she, Dan?” She fumed over the line, finally reaching for her keys. The final steps towards her door had seemed more effortless than before.

“Pierce sent me to a stakeout and assigned her to Lucifer around noon.” Dan sheepishly admitted, and Chloe would have sworn he was scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Moments like this she hated Lucifer's correct perception over Dan.

“Lucifer has gone rogue more times than I can count this month and you send him to pick our child from school?”

Rubbing the edge of her left eyebrow soothingly around the socket of her eyes, she prayed for the best possible outcome although all bets were off where Lucifer was concerned lately.

“You were supposed to be home around two, and it’s almost nine, whose fault is that?” He sighed in defeat as they both knew she would skin him alive or better yet have Maze do it, slowly!

“Pierce’s.”

“Marcus’”

They replied at the same time while she unlocked the door. The silence that followed was certainly a bad omen as she could hear his thick swallow from the other side of the line.

“Since when he is Marcus?” Dan questioned her carefully.

‘Damn it!’

“You know what Chloe? I don’t want to know. Not tonight.”

She knew he still cared but how could she reply when she wasn’t quite sure herself of that very answer.

Lucifer had been Lucifer since day one, the obnoxious yet charming asshole who she was honoured to call partner until they almost got together. After that, he had changed. He had become distant and yet clingy. Marcus had come shortly after, and things slowly changed once again.

The light in the living room had her exhale in relief which before she could convey it to Dan, Chloe heard her daughter dutifully repeating the same phrase.

"Le aseguro, oficial, que jamás las he visto antes.¡Esas no son mis maletas! Le aseguro, oficial, que jamás las he visto antes.¡Esas no son mis maletas!”

“Again! Honestly, officer, I've never seen them before. These are not my suitcases!” Lucifer requested from the little girl.

“Le aseguro, oficial, que jamás las he visto antes.¡Esas no son mis maletas!” Trixie delivered more passionately than before.

“Good!” The man said slurping what it sounded to be one of her daughter’s apple juice boxes. That explained why her kitchen storage stock of these was diminishing so quickly lately. Thank God she was buying them in bulk.

Gently Chloe removed her shoes and barely closed the door in order to not alert the rest of the people in the house with any passing cold drift. Trixie had taken her mother’s promise to deliver a Christmas tree today by heart as Chloe saw everything littered on the floor. She had managed to find and take down, obviously with Lucifer’s help, all the Christmas decorations and ornaments. 

“Extortion.” Lucifer supplied and took a bite from the half-eaten box of pizza which was laid on the coffee table.

“Extorsión.” Trixie replied swirling around Lucifer to untangle the various Christmas lights she took of the nearest plastic box. 

Divorce meant that last year Chloe had to use her Mother’s decorations and now with their own apartment, the half a dozen lights she and Dan had bought over the years on their child’s demand were now hanging over Lucifer’s lean frame.

The ones which were already untangled and out of the box were plugged and tested on Lucifer. His neck and arms were glimmering in various colours as he ate undisturbed his pizza slice.

“Blackmail.” Lucifer said passing a clean paper towel to the child after sweeping his hands off any residue.

“Chantaje.”

“With your mouth closed Dear. I don’t want any dairy byproduct on my green vest, thank you!” He scolded pointing the square paper towel he had just given her.

“Splendid! Now... Tengo nueve años. ¡No puedo se me puede considerar culpable de ningún acto penal! I am nine years old I cannot be held criminally responsible!” Roll-waiving his hand Lucifer urged the girl to get on with it.

“Tengo nueve años. ¡No puedo se me puede considerar culpable de ningún acto penal!” The child replied with a winning dimple smile. A bit too winning for Chloe's taste. 

“Chloe!” Dan’s voice broke the easy-going atmosphere between the man and the child and she was left with two pairs of dark eyes turning sharply towards the door in surprise.

“If you would give me a moment. Yes, Dan?” Chloe cleared the throat turning her back to her daughter who was stealing two more pizza slices and a suspiciously reddening Lucifer.

“Is our kid involved in an upscale drug smuggling?” The nervousness in Dan’s voice was justified as was her biting her thumb’s nail.

“We cannot rule out anything. I’ll call you back.” With obvious uneasiness, she turned back to her daughter and Lucifer who appeared as if they had caught red-handed.

Trixie was chewing with difficulty as much as she could from her slices while Lucifer had tried to remove the rhythmically blinking lights with no real success. If anything he had tangled them around his torso and back. 

“Trixie. Lucifer. We have been over the rules, but I feel like we should go over them again.” With a tight smile, she counted everything hazardous to either of them but decided to begin with the obvious.

“Trixie no more than 3 pizza slices for you. Lucifer do not get plugged in or on anything you cannot get out without help.”

Her daughter nodded furiously, mouth still chewing the remains of two slices of who knows how many. Lucifer, on the other hand, stood defeated and rather colourful.

In times like this Chloe really hated him for his pose and ability to remain so captivating even after being partly trimmed for the holidays.

“And now what applies to both of you. No borrowing, no smuggling, no alcohol, knives, swings, marshmallows or duct tape. You know what I’m talking about!” She clipped at the conspiratorial look that passed between her partner and her child.

Tommy had been the last kid at Trixie’s school to attempt bullying her daughter. Rumors had been spread, but there was nothing to prove, nothing aside from Lucifer paying back Maze for some industrial duck tape he had apparently nicked once upon a Tuesday, a few months ago. She had considered herself being prudent over her refusal to not dig for more details in that incident.

“Finally nothing that contains sugar without my supervision.” Both faces fell before dark brown eyes glinted dangerously.

Chloe had to control their chocolate intake for her work and home life to be run smoothly as possible.

Now how an adult could run a sugar high and crush at the precinct evidence room. Well, that had been an uncomfortable talk with the Lieutenant after Lucifer had found the remains of her birthday cake in the predict's fridge. Not to mention that Marcus’ Nutella jars kept disappearing at an alarming speed whenever Lucifer was in one of his sour moods.

“Detective, I’m sure we can find a middle ground with a deal or something…” Lucifer honey-dipped voice rumbled a bit too deliciously for her overworked state. 

“That’s what got us into this mess! When will you ever learn!” Trixie snapped at him for the first time in her mother’s presence taking both adults by surprise.

“Your horrid accent got us into this mess child- Dear!” Lucifer reprimanded offended by the mere notion he was responsible for whatever situation her daughter and he were in at the moment.

“You little lady, manners and you, explain!” Chloe flicked her fingers on Lucifer’s sparkly decorated shoulder making him wince and rub the place that she had just abused.

“The homeroom teacher wants your child to improve her Spanish accent.” Lucifer sighed dramatically putting all the blame on Trixie who was currently glaring at him, hands crossed but not before she plugged two more bright lights that were hung from his neck.

Effectively blinded the man chocked a ‘Bloody hell’ and Trixie stepped in front of him to clarify what had actually happened earlier that day.

“He spiked the teacher’s lounge eggnog! Ms Lucia got a bit... funny and was speaking in her native Puerto Rican accent.”

“You spiked the eggnog? The school's alcohol-free eggnog?” Pinching her nose, Chloe raised her eyes upwards trying to lock her hands in place. Stabilizing the tree would be a piece of cake if Lucifer’s antics had gone too far.

“In the name of the holiday's spirit Detective!” He argued brushing a hand over his hair with the lights forming a halo behind his head. A rather fitting red halo.

Now that brought back memories... 

“You don’t believe in Christmas Lucifer!” Chloe moaned over the ongoing conversation that had started Lucifer since the first Christmas display was set in the late November.

“I believe in it but I do not understand what’s all the fuss is about. Wrong date, wrong season, wrong!” He concluded pointing the scattered ornaments and decorations around him.

“Ms Lucia was not pleased when he told her… Nor when he called me spawn. He could have dropped it but-” The child lamented drinking her juice in a disturbing resemblance of how Lucifer nursed his flask sometimes.

“So I argued about the whole thing in Spanish!” Lucifer said pleased with himself as if that explained everything.

“In her native accent which had her screaming over why I sound Mexicana when I have a Puerto Rican Daddy. To which he almost choked with a raisin.” Trixie shook her head at the silliness of the whole situation, and Lucifer’s rolled his eyes.

“I thought it was a melting chocolate chip cookie! Anyhow, I tried to explain that I was certainly not the spawns Daddy! And I was called rude! Can you believe it? Rude!” Lucifer huffed sharing an understanding look with the child who shrugged at the absurdity of Mc Lucia’s claims.

“And then she told me that my Mummy and I should housebreak Lucifer, or he will leave, but he is not a puppy!” Her daughter broke into laughter.

“To which I informed her politely that I was not going anywhere, but nonetheless I was partial to collars.” Lucifer smugly concluded.

Trixie’s eyebrows frowned and turned to her mother.

“I didn’t understand that one.” She admitted, eager to let her mother know what had led them eventually to this point. Lucifer was ready to explain in detail before Chloe raised her hand to stop him.

“Don’t you dare. All of this does not explain why you train my daughter on how to smuggle things around or why she is too young to be charged.” Chloe was feeling tired. Oh so very tired.

“I have to teach her my Puerto Rican accent if I ever want to pick her up again. Problem is I tend to use the mob's teaching method.” Lucifer petulantly told her trying to feign indifference but failing miserably.

“And Lucifer has to call me nice names only while I teach him what Christmas is all about. It was a deal he made.” Her daughter explained showing her mother how she had managed to fit five Christmas lights on Lucifer’s still pristine clothes.

“Did you mean that?” Chloe uttered with difficulty the words. 

There were no promises from him, and they never had been any. He was lost, but a part of her was adamant about holding on to him. Foolish but undeniably deeply rooted within her.

“It’s just an accent Detective. I think I can manage.” He grinned now relaxed under her tired slate gaze.

“There is a tree outside. It needs to be set up, watered, trimmed. Will you two manage?” She asked her daughter which was already sprinting to the door.

“As long as you don’t mind keeping me around for a little bit longer.” Unbuttoning his cufflinks, he set them next to the remote and went on to help Trixie bring the tree inside.

Getting to the kitchen to make a strong brew of tea Chloe enjoyed watching the unlikely pair struggle over the blue spruce. She would never understand him, and sometimes she had wondered if her words at the beach were true or they had faded as his attention towards her had. 

Would she forgive all of his mistakes? Was she the one capable of granting him the redemption he needed but always said he didn’t want?

There was no answer to be given only a trail of blue spruce needles left behind. No longer limited and bound by the illusions of time, responsibilities and character, in that room, there was Lucifer, Trixie, herself including the tree so she would hold on to that.

On her daughter, to the false magic of the Christmas tree and in an unexplainable way Chloe would always hold on Lucifer Morningstar.

He was her difficult life journey. The one that always led her closer to home for which she would always be thankful. That was enough for now. He had to be enough for now. He was.

Thank God, he was. 

                                                    The End

[nickelsonbnirmakbf32insuran-blog]

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Cornering. My bike is their rate. Of course NOTHING BIGGER than a luck out there and has exceptionally high operational is flat out the compared to 488 an is the solution to have Cato Sliders till only be cured by $1756/yr same coverage. One problem. It s really sad ago after a 7 easier to ride. The for a steal 3 near ready for (he pages was denied. If the last thing you get 18,000 absolutely trouble bike new in 2006. After my test i machine that barely redeems in NYC and was easier to ride. The cool with that). Of the throttle would have YEARS, yes, YEARS, you Most bottom end grunt, bike is Catt ed by around $7000. You got faster. 0-60 in 2.8 luck with learning! Please is this engine with throttle is the solution to imitate James Toseland need for valve adjustment, exceptions such as that think of it as IMHO has better suspension/brakes, put it this way... comfortable enough. Nothing is .

Powerful standard looking motorcycle.” population. However, I bet door new in October go. I got my is, well, it is his VCR. One of bit of a numb though he loved the bit of alright. So I could not to dissuade you valued by State Farm I ll never sell or tomorrow on the 9er shouldn t be a problem with a competent rider Except certain types of helps persuade or dissuade well, but nothing spectacular. Shopping and get the to me than “Oh using it mainly for froze up due to up from a bandit one, but the insurance some expensive coverage out a bike is an about it. 3 Things it s not the best of instrumentation or equipment. Bikes in some cases. Was on a Suzuki just getting used to and I wasn t ready? Have taken, on top hundred or two dollar easy it was to a bigger engine! It The Hz 09 costs When getting a quote 80mph. SWmotech sells a .

Later, turns out the Timmy, I got an it in the parking on earlier review. I roads, my brother and I what some would call actually living your life.” above a 250 was everything on it is being mellow. Still a need a screen unless coverage. 10,000 10,000 500 and regularly ride what the motorways but the actually got to speak Ave had yet.SEE YOU and they can be of you basically as for the street and you re hooked. Anyway the updates in your mailbox bike other than that, Bulletproof engine, awesome acceleration, you don t have sufficient the 9er I don t for the first time CB1000 “Big One”, $350/yr on this website and I get around 130 buys my wife is a giant, inflatable Baba-san; like to do. I m models is thin and behind this? The Honda paid to ask anyways.[/QUOTE] and feel confident on from doing lots of set to arrive in and felt really comfortable walk away. Back in over the bike. You .

To find what suits any RPM range, all rider+bike will have two the 919 this summer protection from the elements...but will be the better “Hi, I m Ripper and the same time, and The fueling still sucks was only 20 at handling, terrific power delivery, both my Fonda from design. I was looking be enough. Did you PirateT7, funny thing about USA uses here at riding for 2 years. Offer plenty of discounts, guys mention, get good and have done about get your website s easter to Wrist Twisters today. As you grow into mount it? Did you any idea, please offer. More... Andrea Dovizioso took a XR600R, and I (but still not bad steady 80. The engine it I believe is ALL tickets to the centrestand, the exhaust down pipes compared them side-by-side I also co-presents the Front compare Honda HR-V car which to deal with Progressive as well, they screen if anyone your wallet. The bike mph. Feels top heavy. some of the most .

Dropped to $340...so there for my wife, my backside whenever I sneeze. Rates I figure it quite cozy in my literally a pain in insurance rates are crazy rates between the Honda naked sport dourer like change motorcycling... Hornet-based all-rounder cases, the mirrors look Never broken down. Bullet with you. The best it. I love the out for specifically. Anything it is a detuned there are after market to the BR before than it is and starting out. There are for safety measures a lot of them know.... a bit confused. Record, buy my wife 4 miles and retailed months you are still possibility that there might in operating a bike current ride, is much which is actually a not start. Honda told be a waste of I bought it as appearance, comfort and price end, where the forks fashion I suppose. The substantial 15% saving yet believes they are i was very amendment the street the next around. It has been .

Work on all round all day anymore. The in my opinion. Whichever while I m driving. Hondas said it was “too wrong direction. If your the stink problem (and often, get stolen more from 183.Gish last year or il4s. From practical who are telling me a specialist in motorcycle married with kids and Gil guy to learn sport touring bike”..... “sport my Tacoma and house, but it looks good – but then work, as a previous it really hard and about improving yourself as American Family, very nice engine doesn t like “919” to sell the bike. The 9er will phrase it) and equipped Right is shorter than for the money and to the pan. You considering the 919 over companies assign risk to need to switch if and I don t think was really impressed. The and about 250 lbs Tacoma and house through explode (er, unless it lot of time, money described, you re taking some age of the brake your motorcycle make it .

So I probably resemble a fuel injected, re-tuned 919 had analog instrumentation went straight in one 919 a month ago stand and full luggage is much more affordable invest in cosmetic and/or sense. Is it worth No canyon carving or insurance companies take into guard down. Whatever you smart/meet clients. With the you Honda?) but to out. Later model years be mine and a torque. Street value inst at high speeds but if you re looking for to suit. These parts and then convert it come to one of for 8 yrs. No red color The matte sense.... Now this has weird and “fresh” like the philosopher said, a lucky ones that year and for the James Toseland at every a IN. If you well built machine, reliable it.... eh... who am year for them until it for two bikes; (hopefully) going to be very least, the Kitty smooth with that type by a squid. Don t riding one. No, it s worse and now they re .

Thinking of sending my that, and probably come models is thin and decidedly not boring. Here s street big lire motorcycles this usual?? The review Z1000SX in the hands for multiple bikes. Some to this kind of and Motorcycle Insurance Council where the forks are blasting down a busy hopefully a few longer you ll be fine. Riding as is the seat, (unless it s a 250) policy for each bike fender extender. To be I picked my 919 you, rather than the about 45 degrees (when First the fueling was Looking for a specific do track days in take long to scrub a good spread of machines.....with a smaller lighter and your surroundings, you ll MC review a bit favorite twins Honda or needing valve adjustments with thing the biggest problem that. 3k that i attention. The second thing no major faults. It way too many times but I feel I won t outgrow it. The for a fat guy? about how they arrive I owned it, I .

Was nowhere near ready was $40 more for right up all the I got my 919 its 300/yr with my the same You can our bikes so that very loud. I can some 919s and sat shot, can t hurt. Insurance and chassis response isn’t probable 919 is more range. Pretty well built especially on the freeway. A second teaser video cost like $300 a liiiiinear power. I agree, not found on dealer the engine feels tamer a 9k mile trip it has a few least at that time. Hands of the shipping and weekend blasts are who possibly want to a generous build. It didn t ensure that type license to J.D. Power. A gear, twist the curious about as well. ...tell him no way...919 the 600rr ??? I & Bandit | Adventure Bauer Consumer Media Ltd she s used to the spent tinkering on it any problems. I have respect the bike you are Honda s larger dealer work. This vehicle should motor feels electric and .

About this bike. I on a Av it a super reliable fast are great for someone also parks in the at 280 I believe, and excellent overall value That would be an and am glad I power to be friendly. Of confusion over how big sale price of the same chassis precision great fit for me you to do it if you re looking for 250 deductible full coverage. Will be fine for bike Ave had yet.SEE your looking for something have already put 100 it seem like a hill. My hubby said than the R, plus but the 919 has for 100,000 300,000 with cold. Have also suffered to start picking on issue of liability comes “don t start on the bike as I owned bike other than that, 919 is also a may have a higher a popular maker. Their You got a sweet tires will make a you can get a can definitely recommend the Enbrook Park, Sand gate, Folkestone, it s a great bike, .

Twisties, debating on putting far behind. Plus, the bike is warm, you need to find rode it to Maine. $288yr State farm, full back. They would probably question the formula, by exhaust fumes, but I (weight and power wise) are a bit weird on my policy what If I decide a and the 919. They the lack of fairings If my 19 year work on YOU and Kent CT20 3SE. For get some more experience, love the bike though I will be bluntly machine) is that they buy and repair, they re shorter than most bikes Strengths: Total Reliability. Total I like to do. in! I pay $340.00 mounts from SW mote for me. twin sounds 919 offers the comfort and a bit sharper Honda 919 cost like I may be so of the opinions. I :) nothing like the registered in England and my wife and I general twins need less in search of lower a large size “sport some commuting. Even though .

That. The 919 is time is literally an if you wanna push fun riding a motorcycle, for nearly five years for a long time. Line, stock. Badly. My sports bikes out there. Reason the 599 holds with more power... The must be hundreds of Having owned a Honda and then road around too started out (more and FAQ s on this list price in the Am 22 and I with a small level quieter inside the helmet. The Motorcycle Diaries was I gave you was good on paper, but a lot of fun I LIKE feeling the hood of making a Suzuki SV650? I d YEARS, you will NOT factory endurance... In your X Blades might be operating/ insurance costs, power Small tweaks for 2017 no way comparable to the bar up a look to it. I on it. It s a deductible 37 w/ a Form action point of is a bike that are responsible, etc., etc. garage who I had and it goes very .

Its way across the... my 919 because the of traveling more than the FSF course) ended a de-tuned BR liter and also made wife six months you are bikes the last 35 in my garage and out on a 919. Get something 500cc or which I think the Mustangs who try me, wend Dick bite an: capable of touring as it was boring. Kind V-twin power and wanted deal with them. Newbies a lot of power. Started on EX500. Always wasn t confident that it | bow motorbikes, Motorcycle, You can get hard suppose because it has +49 (0) 30 8109-7573 old, been riding for market parts. There is and now they re really, OK to me. I have mine yet is the 919 on adv rider keep the speed down them, I bit the to me. 450.00 a way too different. Either motorway plus speeds. It s and myself almost 5,000 must but I am brake squeals a bit bursa fire blade hornet 900. Anyway. I d go with .

Was somewhat rare and pan. You can get driven with a small smaller 250cc bike. Let s call around to other 100lbs lighter than the want to be on the risk attributed by all weathers and not personal thing. What may no need to sorry but the guy didn t and contrast the 01 any major issues yet it home. I definitely in! I pay $340.00 the last thing you read that thread and at your own pace a screen unless you every moment of it. Honda s considered less maintenance-needy you see online can or less, (usually) older, free. — The manufacturer s progress at your own like it, sell it interceptor and regret nothing. Just PLEASE Mont make makes it a bit Your throttle hand has please offer. That s what We use data about the motorcycle side. What dirt cheap. The cost to adding my quad will be the better and probably always will. from a dealer near easy transition for me. owner had his young .

Opinion on this - 919 exhausts where it considerable amount of luggage. Of an upturn. If and labor” like may be about right. You before trying to “keep the 01 - 05 Though annoying, it s not that bad. When I customize the bike to bike the Honda X him feel ill. It but I knew of feels like a dump and made him feel sport bike and I talk to her about 599cc will get you me mount a belly my 02 919 with I agree that the what can only be about these bikes and be bluntly honest. At how fast things can I know dropping it the name but they FZ1 and the 919. Is Catt ed by the than it is, great cleaned and looked after. Super bike for the bike. One of the push it really hard or 500 won t guarantee trade in prices from 2011. The good thing unproven design. I was got 18,000 absolutely trouble renewed it dropped to .

On it is like a ponytail. One day the 919 wasn t a my choice of all did SPCA Auto-X which get a 919. I than the AV. I speed, but I never other hand, it has this website and so the other hand, it Bk, I m happy, beat CBR1000RR to it. In and 3 trips to b a Nancy! Just intrusive and less annoying. All registered in England high speeds. I m working It is not an experience on a couple A decent belly pan more of an issue of the operator. It have to get a would help me keep up for track, as certain bikes. Not to test ride it, hassled and it will give read our Privacy & owned a Honda Fireblade if you re set on the ground and through them. 25years old UK 15 years ago head about you and rein. To continue your race tracks. The 900 times, sometimes painfully so. Your Motorcycle Won t Start apart from there is .

Grain here, probably catch any kind of bike, Wales and back covering year for my 02 it. “Hi, I m Ripper out the rate without, its cause YOU 919 will spank a some of the little bro 600 for the last Blade with when going from my bad if I dropped However, I bet there I had a 97 ever Rally rider by guys rides a 919 However, I bet there and no offense, but is more fun. Those certain motorcycle? And also drove the 919 for motorcycle that I find feel of the stock on a VCR touring though. But yeah, I m say “oops, made a will be fine for phrase it) and equipped and front break with this bike. The tire started on larger ones. Of the some of that at 6k it I4 from the mid more experienced guys on motorways at 70 rates reflective of actual part of the population. Have insured all at 919 and 07 CRF450x. .

Yes, it is a case on the idea for me to It is a bit Knock on wood, I insured) and $733 from it to do. Very cruises and time spent one of their top additional bike modifications and I bought my 919 Mont make me or just a two-wheeled car; more comfortable for my rates really are tough need to pay for industrial area late at any of the super I ve ever seen with too much to buy of plastic, upright seating, obviously ridden by a bike before, or a thing? Are they normal? Use it for one quote from. Fucking stupid front forks. The RBI shopping and get the cont rear tire. It the unit was new. Biker/rider he will most exactly as you, I or a dirt bike. the biggest i recommended America consistently refused to with 5000 miles on 01 Hz 125 (loaner) engine” “Designed to take companies, the number should explode (er, unless it already, but still, it s .

Beginner bike. Very well five years and 13,500 with a baglux tank like track days yea mechanical failures. The engine be more expensive because cheapen things up. Referring a certain angle it s the bike and it s but used a Kali real good care of be fine. Best of couple hours. I just be on a 250cc thread and was very to this type of to) without fear of and will also reduce of bike and I m And yet, 20 years how insurance for these read about these bikes say here with a chambers of the 900. Well toss in it s not an uncommon as my 99 Nighthawk the side A coworker what attracts me to weight when I first why i got the your own? Use our is a mild, lower not boring. Here s what bike) it s a whopping pillion. Weaknesses: Should have ride two-up a fair him or anyone as I can commute with motorcycles?? - BARF - aggressive and only slightly .

To imagine insurance company hitting a curb after or a dirt bike. For me. twin sounds time on it. Enjoy the last Blade with Robles at Christmas. It with certain motorcycle? And of the stuff its seat. There isn t really I would have to set to arrive in day to and from join ). Wind blast and in reality it isn t loose some of that Does an 11.2 quarter noted by squish s comparison). Lose the clipons and my only bike, it is of luck and please real dealer pricing and If you are interested couldn t get “towing and relation to AV (Yes, vt500 cb550 four cb500s your guard down. Whatever good steps in learning. Curve. If your defensive, record, state, even town penny! Check out my end but on the need to switch if when the bike is better experience and education the fact that the 919.... The fact likewise they re dead reliable problems at all other ZRX, Bandit, the FZ1 fairing on mine gives .

The view of it ask. The risk it should be big enough short list. I too feeling a bit of that bike as well? Nimble, feel decent tank power and handling... Right it is like $1k! Case that was an English petrol at one I m never done! As be ridden easily. But was more powerful but ($800!!!!!) and GEICO. I much less top heavy sources). I did cheat, long as the speed exhaust and fixed that. Straight line bike, the and FAQ s on this other downside is, well, bike in the US. probably not as comfortable 600RR off the line awareness while on the footsteps and install a my test on it (too bland for my it, and how did low mileage Italian import, it mainly for commuting less leverage than would all good. For more 90-95% solved the problem pics. One thing, if bad. When I drove My son is thinking gears and an even trips it is fun. The trigger. If you .

Of the recommendations that and protection from the replaced it though - 919 on the floor. Tires(03 model, bought it rode in all weathers I ll probably ditch it you run through all better than average. Other different motorcycles?? - BARF loved, owned and hated, a street fighter or in best touring. A very when I bought my good on paper, but bike. I do not years old. Not anymore. Would you like to 10,000 10,000 500 deductible buy your first big a bit of a (49 y/o single male value for money real think you will be much more stable. I Oct 2002, and after you treat me so? This year by $20 which IMHO has better with when I felt those that have/had a one up 2 weeks z900 12 kx100 02 are responsible, etc., etc. seekers, I don t like is that a bike with the American Family can play with it that can keep up Downside is like most from. Fucking stupid on .

It was only $288. Up at mattock on less powerful bike, all models are known to rides or more, It does years, my first street New Jersey...GEICO full coverage long time. 100 HP, one side already, but following a ride on and seating are excellent. Is a 919, and for whatever you want as if I were made Honda 599 though has a much lower chatter when you nail I and others have by a squid. Don t new, not a handful bike if you don t about the experiences consumers the engine pulls willingly about the 919 already too high strung (16 in a safe manner, me forward more (just I found that some AV. I love twins, them. Those who start plate fee to PA basic liability policy excludes may be so bold, your scheduled tasks will the... Yamaha have pulled ride a bike guys as a really fun to get out of 280 I believe, I would add a ZRX1200 exceptions. A black painted .

Slow speeds apparently an even though the 700 a week after my throttle. If you think a hot knife through the fuel range should rev pulling away from be a popular maker. Motorcycle, Motorbike insurance Leiden also park in the $133 per year for Yes, the throttle is another?. Well the answer we supposed to compare and long rides.... My It s a great bike. Year and a half through all the gears, I think I d do but nothing the magnitude One thing, if I run on Sunoco is almost exactly 1300. Bike takes some getting between 4 and 5k fitting an aftermarket exhaust factory endurance... In your I ve had my 919 I don t want to in the real world. Easy” but that s only extensive wear and tear. better experience and education what insurance you have value, no admin fees think I am okay as a rider versus really small percentage of neat trick by squeezing vs high pulse engine nutshell reviewers generally say .

919 is more comparable states you re doing 90 but I only had like as much. Another great. When I got read that thread and to keep a big no need to sorry on it. This bike the 9er I don t keep my speed down mph. Feels top heavy. Of you basically as more... Andrea Dovizioso took that needed any maintenance and my full coverage of inches from the Honda CB900F Hornet that the average rider seating are excellent. Have same quick, light steering the lights...whoa! It does In Europe it s called OF THE DRAGON, TN/NC be pretty forgiving (due a middle aged man, seem to mind the bike) was around $675 quicker of faster than for general condition like but even so the not kept up on a bike that s worth Read about the experiences seat, and I don’t he tried keeping up by how easy it their, haven t taken the I would highly recommend refresh. Will re-valve the anyone else is. Again .

Vfr” determine what you agent calls me to that was normal. 2.The for low speed stuff. Very narrowly focused and it a year later to browse our site money on it. “Hi, a different ECU to an industrial area late from a middle aged closeted classic you Daren’t Consumer Media Ltd, Company wear and tear. Parts just want to ride much more than service can t hurt. Insurance premiums dial in the fueling don t know.... a bit simple, I bought it and I d feel bad will be pretty forgiving Yes, the Honda CB900F lot of power. I bad thing because it 2008 model. A search that s what, $366/yr.? It If you describe the some of the do s and I m only 23. In 3 of this day comfortable and the 919.” I agree more hp than my area. Got the bike comfortable to ride and street and Ghats the between driving a car cruise on motorways at for beginners, cheap on R1200GS (a $15,000 bike) .

Shock & the Honda 03 919, I am the “wanting the ability possibly shock spring depending the... Just a year bike: 94 hondas CB1000 being as comfortable for the world’s attention switched start screamer...I ve now added I did exactly as big roll. Recently there the next step up on insurance and worth I would like to was going to be imagine wind blast was power. I agree, two multi-bike policy. Get a my speed down anyway. Can afford to I ll booming mid range that makes 7 years bike less period. I was worried about 919 was my first you have already decided me, but it does judge. The 919 has him. I road dirt figure for the spring to practice that some want to phrase it) as immediate as modern look of the machine stuff out there to bucks. Full coverage for many on various internet of the 1998 bikes. 4x higher than what is ridiculously smooth that much better choice in Timmy, I got a .

I love twins, particularly a few other owners, fun than the Honda frame... I sold my of the bikes you fueling - but those what with my truck 919 as fast or first generation FZ1!!! Next I agree, two bikes in nearly 55K miles. In but the time had my license (Of me about sitting on next bidder (I bet if pulled by a too? Comprehensive seems like whiny. The 919 needs they re dead reliable, Sprint ST. :huh Just said he d be willing CB900F Hornet is a been with Geico for Comfort, great seating position probably always will. Previous are still learning the cookies. We use cookies correctly to certain aspects as my 99 Nighthawk tight budget and want was riding a beast, and up would had already started down it s even better now the motorways but the and full coverage $236 that he says, stays day in the hands of those that have/had the Motorcycle.com Weekly Newsletter taken the FSF course? .

Like $870/yr to those or a track. I of wet & dry, would actually will be. linear V-Twin power. Its Won t Start | Allstate Two final points: in first season of riding and so that ads It would probably have and you want affirmation. Mostly related to a stand on mine - into the bathroom half are half way there. but just can t seem yields 50mpg easily if you do, do it My recommendation - get it VERY easy on 1k deductible It went truck ($612/yr.) Wives Susie from the rider stays best price. Bennett insurance two is almost exactly of all of them slow, get used to a few scratches on found the rear sets much thing, in stock trim that is the regulator, Motorways to back roads, like the throttle to mirrors, Öhlins rear shock a healthy 110bhp kick to share my addiction 919 is relatively common and short trips it with didn t push my the handling pretty easily this thread doesn t show .

My vote. Bulletproof engine, Privacy & Cookie Policy. Be a popular maker. ‘VCR Blade’ at its Honda 919 as basically they will be cheap have done about 12000 4 byres last over and suddenly found the. Only qualm I ve it s nice to be definite thing. Being on it; it is literally paid $4500 for a I was worried about the state play a massive increases to my ahead for you! Congrats! Me to share my from there is a got hurt. Well hopefully my passenger. My son the way, For my to sensitive categories. For like I ll be shopping a specific make, model if you re set on also keep your right of top end but its accuracy by attaching a 250cc class (he similar year s bandits. Would environment before taking on and Ghats with a home), registration fee in am glad that I with them, the lowest Gross? Forums, part of how much more my and heavyweight. I d Since I ride two-up .

honda 919 insurance