#i really like june. aug. sept. oct. and dec.

[rainbowgothdisaster]

vry unofficial and rushed and i hate how long it took to simply find things but-

i wanted to do one, at least for myself yknow :/

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Do you really think Meghan actually wants to make and sell products? And that she wants to create a brand that has a real marketable potential?

Everything we have seen so far, right from 2O12/13, when she first hit some recognition with with suits, all she has ever wanted was to famous. And by association, be known as beautiful, desirable, intelligent and high value.

All her ventures were geared towards increasing her own social capital - the people she knew, the places she was seen at, what she wore, what she used, the activities she did as leisure, her knowledge of all things fine, elite, luxury.

All financial benefits she recieved were though her social capital. She did not undertake any activity that would add to her craft as an actor, which she apparently has a degree in. No auditions, no plays, no training workshops, no new longterm projects, no producer gigs or interests even after she had some financial security etc

Even the Tig was more like documenting an extended luxury vacation. All her focus was geared towards finding a rich guy with a luxury lifestyle, to settle down with. Her long term plans did not include acting, getting better projects or stable long-term business ventures.

And for all intents and purposes, she seems to have got what she wanted. We may side-eye her that she bagged Harry of all the rich eligible men she could find, we may even question her quality of life. But, she seems to be living it up pretty good.

She is miles from where she was. Harry is bringing in all the money and even if they go broke, that is never make money from their ventures, Harry's BRF connection is always the backup plan. At least financially.

She gets to live is a huge place, she is back in LA. She only ever wears designer wear. Everything she does is scrutinized and talked about, good or bad. She gets entry into places and circles she could never have imagined herself in.

Al she wants is be in special shows or docuntaries where she is the centre of attention. So she will never do a show about a charity or something. The money will keep coming in.

And a divorce settlement is always a viable option. Plus Harry is the one who has made a fool of himself infront of everyone that cared about him.

So, I don't think she cares about what products she seels, whether they could have long term money making potential etc.

She is living her dream life. And the past 7 years have only fuelled her entitlement.

So, I don't think she cares if Roop fails. Or the products are stupid.

Meghan wants to be so fabulously filthy rich and famous she never has to work again in her life. She thinks she is literally just one idea away from having it all, and we know that about her because the second she realizes it's not working, she bails.

Just look at her track record:

2011: Producer Wife

2012 - 2013: Suits

2014: Lifestyle influencer (The Tig) and humanitarian activist (Ice Bucket Challenge)

2015: Foodie

2016: Humanitarian activist (March), Tennis fan (June/July), Royal girlfriend (November)

2017: Better than Kate (January), Health/Beauty influencer (April/May), Royal almost-fiancee (June/July), Africa (August), Duchess Material (Sept/Oct), Royal rulebreaker (Nov/Dec)

2018: Shy Di (Feb/Mar), Bride (Apr/May), Country Girl (June - Aug), Global Superstar Di (Sept/Oct), New Young Mother (Nov - May 2019)

2019: New Young Mother (continued), Feminist Who Supports and Inspires Women (summer), Nobody Asked Me If I'm OK (Sept/Oct), Glam Military Wife (Nov)

2020: Protecting My Peace (January), Revenge Tour (March), Helping the Hungry Because Everyone Else Is (April), New Young Mother Again (May), Black Lives Matter (summertime), Author and Content Creator (autumn), Hot Military Wife and Nobody Asked Me If I'm OK Part 2: Miscarriage Edition (Nov)

2021: New Young Mother Part 3 (February), Still Protecting My Peace (March), Lilibet (June), The Bench, Humanitarian Activist and Time Magazine cover model (Sept/Oct)

2022: We're Still Royals Platinum Jubilee edition (springtime), Podcaster/Socialite (July/August), We're Still Royals Mini-tour edition (pre-HLM September), Grieving Granddaughter-in-Law (September), Humanitarian Activist and Netflix Superstars (December)

2023: We're Still Royals Coronation edition (March through May), Di-Chased-By-Paparazzi-in-New York (May/June), WME Superstar (June), Author and Content Creator (July/Aug/September), Hot Military Wife Dusseldorf Edition (Sept/Oct), Red Carpet Fashion Superstar (autumn)

2024: We're Still Royals Invictus Games in Canada Edition (February), Goop Wannabe (March), Duchy Originals Wannabe (April)

[lee-minhoe]

every month of 2023 🎉 MEL RECAP!!

link your favorite or most popular post from each month this year <3 (it’s totally fine to skip months!) and tag some CCs you love!

tagged by @ambivartence and @strayklds 💗💖

tagging: @agibbangs @chanrizard @chanstopher @dearlyminhyung @dinoboos @haechannabelle @jinniebit @minchanz @nctsworld @seo-changbinnies @shorelinnes @skzfaker @snug-gyu @woodziecup if you want + anyone else who'd like to!!

and here are my 2022 and 2021 recaps too :)

january: favorite lino moments (most popular); linotonin video (my fav 🥺)

feb: lino in a choker (most popular); jaemin vs lino (fav)

march: lino lonely st; i also started the lino in every mv series this month and idk if i'll ever finish that lol

april: lino 5-star trailer

may: lee think (most popular); thoughts of an unhinged han bias (fav); also started my fav lino genres series

june: lino for dazed

july: lino arms; i also fell in love with junho this month

aug: lino arms (most popular and wow this was a long set...); minchan for nini's bday + part 6 of shit lino says (favs)

sept: lino for akire and han for em

oct: lino bday set (also the only thing i made that month lol)

nov: lino idol theater

dec: ALL I'VE GIFFED IS SONG KANG: wedding song kang, cutie song kang, song kang in my demon (from my sideblog @kangsongpyeon hehe)

some stats about my sets! yes i used excel lmao (the 0.5s are if a set was for 2 members or something and then i just called it 0.5 for each)

i made 137 sets total with lino and song kang in the lead (which is saying a lot given that i only started giffing song kang in dec 🙈). i've also concluded that i really only gif han and i.n. for em, and jeno for siyuan <3 the subjects of my giffing have certainly gotten more diverse compared to when i first started hahaha

[bizarrequazar]

Cnovels I've Read

I'm in the mood for making a list and @danmeiljie's danmei list has inspired me, so ~enjoy~ if you care. I'm classifying "cnovels" in the broad literal sense of novels written in Chinese by Chinese authors, so this is not limited to just webnovels.

★s are my personal rating, ❤ denote favourites. I'm aware that there's zero consistency in this list between use of Chinese vs English titles, I'm just going by what I usually refer to them as.

Finished

Danmei

Advance Bravely by Chai Jidan ★★ Read Sept-Oct 2022 Comment: Is it good? No, absolutely not. Is it AMUSING? Yes.

Beijing Comrades by Bei Tong ★★★★ Read July 2023

The Easter Egg Game by Bo Mu Bing Lun ★★ Read Dec 2020-May 2021

The Easter Egg Game II by Bo Mu Bing Lun ★★ Read July-Sept 2021

The Easter Egg Game III by Bo Mu Bing Lun ★★★ Read Sept-Oct 2021

Fantasy Farm by Xi Zixu ★★★ Read Dec 2019-Feb 2022

Guardian by Priest ★★★★ Read July 2019-March 2020

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat ★★★★★❤ Read Aug-Dec 2019; currently rereading via Seven Seas tl

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu ★★★★❤ Read June-Nov 2019

Mo Dao Zu Shi by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu ★★★★★❤ Read Aug 2018-Feb 2019; currently rereading via Seven Seas tl

Mo Du by Priest ★★★ Read Jan-Nov 2020 Comment: Really liked the first two books, after that I kind of lost interest tbh.

Qi Ye by Priest ★★★❤ Read June 2021

Saye by Wu Zhe ★★★★★ Read Nov 2019-Aug 2020

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu ★★★ Read Nov 2018-May 2019; Jan-Dec 2022

Spring Trees and Sunset Clouds by Wei Liang ★★★ Read Dec 2019

Tian Guan Ci Fu by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu ★★★★★❤ Read Nov 2018-Mar 2019; currently rereading via Seven Seas tl

Tian Ya Ke by Priest ★★★❤ Read June 2021; currently rereading

The Way of Evil by Priest ★ Read Mar 2020-May 2021 Comment: Very interesting if you look at this as an earlier draft of Mo Du.

Welcome to the Nightmare Game by Bo Mu Bing Lun ★★★★❤ Read July 2019-Nov 2020; Nov 2020-Apr 2021

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II by Bo Mu Bing Lun ★★★★★❤ Read Nov 2020-Apr 2021 Comment: Easily one of the most devastating endings I've ever read (compliment).

Welcome to the Nightmare Game III by Bo Mu Bing Lun ★★★ Read Aug 2021-Jan 2022 Comment: Would be 4 stars if BMBL hadn't split it into two, ie. it doesn't have a proper ending since it's continued in IV.

Yuwu by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat ★★★★ Read Dec 2019-June 2022 Comment: My own enjoyment suffered greatly from the long break I took from it. I'm planning to reread it altogether once the Seven Seas tl is complete.

Baihe

Didn't Know the General was Female by Rong Qing ★★ Read July 2020

Female General and Eldest Princess by Please Don't Laugh ★★★★❤ Read Sept 2019-Jan 2020

The General's Manor Young Concubine Survival Report by Wind's Little Bell ★★ Read August 2019

I'm More Dangerous Than You by Ande ★★ Read May 2023

Jing Wei Qing Shang by Please Don't Laugh ★★★★ Read July 2020-June 2021 Comment: Should have been at least fifty chapters shorter imho.

General

The Three-Body Problem by Liu Cixin ★★★★★ Read April-May 2023

Current / On Hold

Antidote by Wu Zhe

The Dark Forest by Liu Cixin

Di Huang Shu by Xing Ling

Golden Terrace by Cang Wu Bin Bai

Legend of the Condor Heroes by Jin Yong

Little Mushroom by Yi Shi Si Zhou

Ruzhui by Please Don't Laugh

Dropped

Sha Po Lang by Priest Comment: Planning to try again at some point. The yifu thing turned me off, but I think I wouldn't be bothered by that now.

The Universe Jumper by Hao Jingfang Comment: Fuck her. 🖕🖕

The Villain's White Lotus Halo by A Big Roll of Toilet Paper

High Priority

In the Dark by Jin Shisi Chai

Welcome to the Nightmare Game IV by Bo Mu Bing Lun

[booskwan]

2023 recap | tagged by the lovely @ambivartence (thank you for the tag<333) top post for each month of 2023 under the cut :)

jan: live slug reaction (no surprise there) feb: pink stickers changbin march: jeongyeon facecam april: gay drunk watcher may: felix topline unveil june: lee know fancam july: hyunjin drink tour aug: every boo ending fairy (it makes me happy this is the top<3) sept: mingi guerrilla oct: coups god of music nov: madz puppies honory favs: madz + hongjoong birthday dec (so far): crazy form mv corset hwa

thank you al for an incredible year as a cc minus the awful like to rb ratio <3333 my creations have received so much love which is so crazy to me and i really really appreciate it. even though i'll be getting busier next year with my gap year ending i'm excited to keep creating for this webbed site even though it may hate ccs🫶🫶 and of course thank u to all my wonderful mutuals both that i've made this year and before tumblr wouldn't be the same without y'all🫂🫂

i'm not gonna tag anyone because i am so very afraid of leaving someone out but if you want to do this and no one has tagged you yet feel free to say i did<3

[praetoring]

wHELP goodbye 2023, hello 2024.

last year was certainly,,,,, something in terms of art. i,,,,, kinda love how I ended it. looking through the pieces I drew last year, I didn't draw as much as I wanted to, maybe about one pic per month. and that's really not where I want to be. but at the same time, from june onward, I'm super happy with how what little I completed came out. I feel like my art is starting to take on this look that I've been chasing after for years. they all make me happy - especially that last row (and okay I kinda cheated on september's pic - yes I drew it then, but a lot of the refining & clean up was in dec.)

either way, I'm in a comfortable place with my art - onward to 2024!

jan | feb | march | april | may | june | july | aug | sept | oct | nov | dec

[dollofdeath]

art summary for this year! template by @/sami_0523 on twt!

(jan / feb / march is a comm i haven't posted anywhere / april / may / june / july / aug / sept / oct / nov / dec)

here's another piece from august i couldn't include but also really liked >w<

i did not do as much as i would've liked to do this year (both art and writing) because i was so busy TwT but despite that, i think i kinda like what i was able to do... there's a lot of room for improvement, but i but i managed to finish a comic (one of my goals for this year!), finished some concepts i've had in mind for a long time, and experimented a bit! i had fun doing the pointillism piece and for the december piece, i tried coloring via color gradient so that was fun hehe considering all that, i'm not too upset lol

i would definitely like to do more next year, especially in writing whgdjhdh, but i'm not sure what will happen, so we'll see! in the mean time i made some goals lol

(template by @/AlmaKRowan on twt!)

these aren't hard goals, i've had a lot of these in mind for a long time honestly LMAO, but it might be nice to see them accomplished next year! as long as i can keep making what i like though, i'm happy hehe ^-^

anyhow, i know i'm not very active on here or anything, but thank you everyone for your continued support! i know i'm not a big artist or writer or anything, so it means a lot to me knowing that someone out there enjoys what i do as much as i do! hope the rest of your year goes well, and hope the new year treats you kindly!! 🫶💞✨

[kae-karo]

Fic Roundup 2022

my fave that i've written this year 😌

jan - our names were meant to have arrows drawn through (x) - klk spring break meet cute posted on the literal first day of the year lmao i remember being surprised this one got so little interaction for it being klk?

feb - bring me my coffin, please (x) - my first chennett fic!!! i really went 'ya i'll just write this and get it out of my system' and now i'm out here still writing chennett lmao

mar - my love is the killing kind (x) - chiluc assassin soulmate au where you can't kill ur soulmate >:} unironically this was such a fun au to write and i had a great time with it

apr - like you, like me (x) - sdlkfj chiluc again, very soft and a lil melancholy and inspired by the lovely @/eseninkit's art (on twt) that just gave me so many Emotions

may - dead line, live wire (x) - a klk wrong number and accidental meet cute au that stepped outside my usual klk dynamics - it's always fun to have aus where they haven't met before and see how things would turn out differently

jun - ragnvindr? i barely know her! (x) - another klk with a test of different dynamics for me, featuring darknight hero diluc and kaeya who actually (somehow) didn't know it was diluc lmao

jul - shadows amidst snowstorms (x) - albedo/fakebedo but instead of talking it out during their encounter, they fuck about it. this was probably the first time i really jumped into a hatefuck type of scenario!

aug - letters unsigned and unsent out of fear (x) - klk epistolary fic based on the letters they both kept during the hidden strife event! my first time trying my hand at a (mostly) epistolary fic

sept - that, surfeiting, the appetite may sicken and so die (x) - finally some zhongchi on this list lmao. another first, both somno and egg/ovipos, and i wasn't sure how ppl would like it? but i'm glad yall enjoyed lmao

oct - i don't bite (but i heard you might) (x) - bakutodo!!! finally!! not the first one i wrote after picking bnha back up, but definitely my fave so far. wolf!bkg and vamp!tdrk full of playful banter and a lil spice >:}

nov - do your worst (that's what you do best) (x) - panttore!! evil men being evil and sexy and kind of evil to each other too!!! i had a good time with this one and once again trying out some dynamics i don't often do lmao

dec - Kaeya and the Huge Bread (x) - i'm using this as dec since i published the final ch in dec lmao. chaeya author au my beloved!! i had unironically SO much fun writing this fic, both from the actual perspective of writing the chaeya (which is always fun but was especially fun with this particular dynamic) and writing the various commercial break ships that i might otherwise not have had the inspiration to write. i think this was up there as one of my fave fics to write like, maybe ever

honorable mentions & other stats below the cut 🙏

i posted 523k words over 46 different fics this year???? and two fandoms (bnha and genshin, welcome back bnha lmao)

my longest fic was 117k (bread! - x), the shortest was 678 words (too young to die - x)

i also wrote my first xiaother this year! your calming embrace is the first time i felt something real (x) back in june 😌

and!!! i got back into bnha again this year - rewatching the training camp arc is what actually finally inspired me to start writing for bnha again, and i wrote patched up in the dark (x)

i also wrote a fallen angel / risen demon bktd au that i had quite a fun time with from a worldbuilding perspective - closer to heaven than you'll ever know (x)

i also continued my (very slow) progress of making country music gay by writing and p.s. if this is kaeya... (x). perhaps i'll add another fic to that short list next year lmao

and!! i finally finished the time that we spent in arms and in longing series (x) inspired by my very first ever chaeya fic many moons ago, which remains one of my fave fics to this day

oh and speaking of series, i also concluded my chiluc sparks of hope built in the dark series (x) that started with the aphrodisiac'd diluc some time last year

and in other firsts, i finally did smth i had been meaning to do for ages - writing zhongkae! fleeting heart and home (please, let me be kind) (x) with any luck, i'll have inspiration to write them more next year too

and finally, in the world of bnha firsts, i wrote and posted some bakushin for the first time! speakeasy (x), where i got to play with the particularly interesting dynamic of "you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up" / "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" 😌

and obviously there were many many more, i've only barely listed half of them here, but thank u to everyone who read and enjoyed these stories with me this year!! here's to many more to come 💜

[figula]

tagged by sweet little benny to do 10 songs from shuffle vs 5 you actually listen to: My starred playlist goes back to 2011 and there is some truly awful shit on there, so without further ado here they are, along w/ the dates I added them 1. katy perry - never really over (this is actually one of her beter songs and i think it's a shame it flopped, i think her career never recovered from the blonde pixie cut + it did look like shit to be honest) june 29 2019 2. gonna be leaving - abigail lapell (nice, folksy, little bit creepy) october 30 2020 3. sometimes you cant make it on your own - U2 (i uh have zero feelings about this song now either positive or negative) sept 18 2013 4. feed the birds - julie andrews (oct 7 2013) (no feelings about this song either but i mean it is one of the greatest disney songs for sure, the orchestral swell is still genuinely beautiful + moving) 5. cold water swimming - quiet houses (feb 2 2022) (this is nice but a bit boring, i think i was sad at the time) 6. lovers - anna of the north (dec 14 2018) (this still is good and nice, this was bc i had just heard it in to all the boys i loved before and liked it a lot. i still do like it tho even divorced from the context of the film) 7. friends - francis and the lights, kanye, bon iver (aug 15 2018) (yeah i still like this one but it's hard to listen to anything w/ kanye in it these days innit) 8. heavenly day - patty griffin (nov 1 2018) (yea this is bc i had just watched the haunting of hill house lol, i dont think otherwise i would have bothered that much, it's a nice song but a bit boring without the show aspect) 9. video games - lana del rey (jan 25 2012 !!!!!!) (yeah obviously this one is a modern classic) 10. viktoria - maria mena (sep 29 2012) (this is ok but it is a bit twee to me these days - i used to like that kind of tweeness but not so much now - i dont think it's terrible just not hugely my thing anymore, also maria mena so powerfully transports me back to when i was starving myself + liveblogging it to the internet + i would rather not listen to her anymore for that reason as well) songs i have actually been listening to lately: (with links! bc they're nice songs) 1. posters - long beard, ryan galloway - long beard is one of my favourite dreampop women - sweetheart is another one of my favourites by her 2. muna - the one that got away - i just love how gay everything they make is, and this song is very fun and dancey 3. welcome to my island - caroline polachek - she's so campy and fun i love her. when she's running on the beach hand in hand with a boar i just love it 4. flower in the dark (synthesised version) - maika loubté - french/japanese singer who sings in french/english/japanese, all these languages combined are v pretty to me 5. unfortunate love - hayden calnin - i think this is a really mid song and a shameless 2011 bon iver rip off to be honest. however it is also very inoffensive + useful if i just want sound in my ear while im doing somehing that needs a sort of melancholic atmosphere such as playing the long dark at night i wont tag anyone bc no one ever does it when i tag them :K and it takes so long to think of people im friendly with on here who wont feel pressured into it :K lol but if you think you'd enjoy it you can do it!! i enjoyed it :)

[auntpuppy]

Apparently

Apparently the depression hits the hardest around this time in Aug each year. Well been a lot going on. Last Aug I was in an apartment with no friends hating everything. Now I'm in a house I bought still no friends hating everything. So I guess not a whole lot there has changed.

So to recap what's been going on and how I'm feeling, lets start with what's been going on.

Sept still working at the same place doing the same stuff. Luckily our system switch that happened a few months earlier had started to settle and feel routine. We still lived in the apartment and were still not in a good place in out marriage. Although we didn't know the worst was about to come in just a few short months.

Oct started Weight Watchers to start losing weight again, was doing really well and started to lose some weight. Started working out mildly again, still hate it and couldn't really find anything I liked to do that I could stick with but I kept trying. Also Halloween, no one at my work dressed up but me so I looked like a complete loser, so that was great.

Nov started writing a book based on a new character I started with my tabletop group. I really liked her and was so excited to play her. Unfortunately I learned very quickly that my character didn't add anything to the group and she was just as much an useless outcast that only talks to her machines much like I do now. Had some doctors appointments trying to work out this TMJ in my jaw. It's mutated into ear pain which I'm hoping to work out next week with a specialist. My favorite holiday Thanksgiving happened but didn't feel the same because much like the character I created if I wasn't at the event literally no one would notice. Positive thing that happened I was the only one in the group that finished or even cared about writing so I wrote a 50k+ word book. Reading it back I really liked it, ask my husband to read it and make notes this year because I finally feel comfortable enough for him to read it and nothing.

Dec my least favorite month because of the absolute pressure Christmas brings. Again I put a ton of effort into find just the right themed gifts for everyone and I was really truly an after thought. I even suggested matching PJs which for once everyone agreed to but no one was actually excited to wear them. New Years came and same shit different day. I bought a new dress because we were supposed to go out...we didn't so I sat at home watching other people enjoy themselves in various places. Positive note I did get to see Miley Cryus' thing so that was cool.

Jan worst month, we looked at a bunch of houses that were just blah and unappealing couldn't really find anything I liked. Think we looked at another 20 houses. It never really snowed so I didn't even get to enjoy my favorite part of winter.

Feb we looked at more houses, finally found one we really liked. Put in an offer was told the house was pending the day before. So at that moment I said I need a break, we'll wait til April to start looking again I just can't keep being disappointed. The moment I really finally let go of us finding a house they called our relator and said it was back on the market, the other buyers back out after the inspection. We put in the offer and within 48 hours I was looking at paperwork to buy a house. At that moment though I was like shit this is where the worst part happened the last time and it was drawn out for months. But I worked with the bank my sister has and it was great, all in all took about 2 weeks before we closed on the house with a move in date of April 1st. We didn't start making mortgage payments until May but we had to be in our appartment until June. We decided we'd give them notice that we'd be leaving end of May. They said we'd still have to be responsible for June but were like what are they gonna do kick us out?

March we are starting to feel really good and we have our closing date on the house its wonderful. Everything is going great we close on the house we really look like we might be on an upward path then it happens. The single worst day of my life. We get into a fender bender, old lady hits car behind us, he's forced into us. We call the police like were supposed to cops come. I wasnt driving so they didn't care as much about me. So they are talking to everyone involved but it seems to be taking a long time with my husband. Turns out he has a fucking warrant out for his arrest! So he gets taken to the county jail while he waits to be moved to the county where court case happens. I don't know what to do this has never happened to me I have never experienced this. I call my sister and his mom. I can't talk to him, no clue what is happening to him can't see him nothing. So I wake up and go to work. Finally able to figure something out and can talk to him. It's hit or miss on talking to him. I still haven't been told all the details of what happened or anything. I piece it together from documents but i don't want him dicussing it over a recorded line. It's 3 days until he is transferred. This is the friday before Easter. I think there's no way I'm going to get to see him. We get a lawyer, he explains the process and what I am going to do to get him out. Thank the stars his mom could cover it. He finally gets transferred to the right county. I wait almost 18 hours for him to be released. Court officers tells me at 6p that he should be available for me to pick up in a few hours. Midnight comes around and I still haven't heard from him. I go into the court offices to see what's going on. I'm sobbing and they were so nice about it and surprisingly caring. They say the officers are running 10 hours behind and he will call when he is released. He will then have court in the AM to determine if he can stay out on OR (which is what he was provided). 2am after I have driven home and started to fall asleep he calls to say he's out and I can come get him. I tell him it'll be about an hour. I drive and pick him up. Not much is really said I think I'm still in shock and so is he. I started therapy that next week.

Honestly the rest of the months are much of the same. Off and on dealing with his shit and working through issues. We still weren't back on track. We move into the house, our anniversary comes, my birthday and everything just feels empty.

I want to get to the part today where I feel useless. I just realize how much people just don't notice me. I obviously don't want to be the main character any where but I don't think I'm even the main character in my life. I think if I went missing there would be almost 0 response for where I am. I just really feel like I'm invisible or an after thought. This is terrible but I don't get hit on anymore because I"m just not pretty any more, I'm not thin, I can't get thin, I don't know how to really do my hair so it's just blah, I stopped making stuff, I don't go out. Hell I haven't worn my wedding ring in a few years now and no one noticed.

I just really wish I had 1 person I could talk to about stuff. My best friend is gone (i mean she was gone a while ago but besides liking photos or status that's the only way I know she's alive). I literally come across no ones mind unless they can ask for help at work because my boss isn't available. It just really sucks to always be some ones no name side kick in a story. I just for once want to be important or noticed at all.

[mizata]

Year in review (the story so far)

Jan:

Observed a bike-fitting session

Failed my IPPT

Signed up for a gym membership

Faced heavy interpersonal issues

Feb:

Facilitated teachings in uni

Experienced the heaviest doubt and disappointment

Tried to process and regulate my thoughts and feelings

Mar:

Tried to facilitate shared activities by loaning equipment from Anthony, never really got to execute

Started my own bike-fitting process

Hung out with colleagues, was nice

Apr:

Started to do some home therapy

Went to Japan with my significant other and family! Best holiday so far ever

May:

Got a new passport

June:

Emcee'd for Chester's wedding

Got the partner out for sum cycling but was struggletown, effort twas appreciated tho

July:

Attended 3 weddings over 3 weekends

Had sum good beef

Completed the bike fit process and got a new bike!

Dry needling course (which sucked but is omega useful)

Major argument with partner leading to a breakup

Aug:

The hardest month of my life so far, instant regrets and grief flow

Tried to therapize with visits to the bike workshop and cycling (sorta kinda helpful)

Life starts to suck (can't stop the feeling)

Hate myself a little for being root cause of pain, but can't bear to not do things whole-heartedly

Work sucks

Sept:

Life keeps getting suckier

Attend a few more weddings

Notice depressive episodes

Work sucks more

Oct:

Meet new friends

Emcee'd another wedding, but in chinese

Fuck up emcee script

Attend more weddings

Depressive episodes become more frequent and last longer

Work sucks even more

New baby nephew enters the world, days seem a little brighter

Nov:

Another wedding

It's been 3-ish months, still feel like ass, maybe reconnect

Reconnect

Feel happy and mood skyrockets

Tries to work out issues, doesn't seem to get very far, but i commit nonetheless

First destination wedding in Thailand

Work still continues to suck further

Dec:

Try to rationalize and express myself when continuing discussions with ex, semi-fruitful conclusions, decide to respect decisions

Start therapy

Work sucks the most

Start feeling like i shouldn't be in this profession or alive at all

Go through christmas and new years with the shittiest of moods, craving the feelings of yesteryear

Decide to still be respectful because whotf am i to hamper the healing of another

Go to sleep with heavy heart

Jan:

Somehow wake up with an even heavier heart

Work sucks the most

Try to do a karaoke because of insistence

Did not enjoy karaoke very much, but company was good

Decide to give in to nostalgia

Feelsbadman

Sinking feeling a little

Try to do a process and a cope, fight unaliving thoughts

(To be continued)

Reflections so far:

How do i better manage my frustrations and negative feelings? Is it ok to explode or get mad once in a while? It shouldn't be ok because if i say things in a fit of rage, there may be irreparable damage (as per lessons attended). Do i try to express my needs and concerns? Yes, but that didn't work out so well did it? Maybe if i insisted. Maybe if i wasn't so considerate of that many details (because i'm only human and i cannot be aware of every single thing) and feelings of others.

Do i get a little more selfish? Am i allowed to get upset and retaliate? Hell why am i even asking for permission to get pissed off? OF COURSE I'M ALLOWED TO BE UPSET.

To find out that being vulnerable and open about my emotions and stressors was a semi-push factor.

To be told that the intention of certain topics of conversation was not what i interpreted was disappointing.

To be told that doing things that i thought were benign turned out to be the stuff of nightmares instead, was disappointing.

I'm upset. In so many ways because i feel guilty of not considering more aspects of events which unfolded. And yet i tell myself that everything is justified. Maybe because somehow if i tell myself everything is justified, it makes it more understandable and acceptable on the ends of all stakeholders.

Everything has a reason, i just want to be able to understand as much as i can.

Do i see hope in reconciliation? Maybe, maybe not.

I don't even know what i can change within myself for things to be better.

I don't even know

I don't know anymore.

[janeelyakiri]

All your boys are posing for a sexy calendar. Each one is assigned a month, and are allowed to wear whatever outfit, use whatever prop and do whatever pose they want. Can we get a description of what that calendar looks like? Hehehe.

I had to open wordpad to get this all down i hope you know like

I put TOO MUCH THOUGHT into this lol

under cut for suggestive/long

Jan- Macaw-He's wearing just, all the layers. Coats, snowpants, scarves, gloves. He's T-posing, stuck, unable to move. He looks like the kid from A Christmas Story. His BG is a snowy landscape.

Feb- Robin- Valentine's Day themed, a blurry view of a dead couple in the BG, and he's staring the camera down while sexily eating a red Soul.

March-Hound- He's wearing his hoodie and collar, no shirt and is holding the hoodie open to display them bones. His hood is up to add some ~mysteriousness~ as he licks his teeth, and his pants hang low to show off his hipbones.

April- Fox- Wearing a bee themed hoodie, black and yellow sweater, hood up, BG has bees and a light drizzling of rain. He's got a bee umbrella and is looking up with a hand out at the rain.

May- Crow- Fem Ecto formed, blushing and biting his 'lip' as he wears a skimpy but cute sundress that's pulled up to show some thigh, a flower crown on and sitting in a bed of flowers and green with legs to the side.

June- Lupo- Daisy Dukes shorts, shirt tied up into a crop top, sexily leaning over and fixing a vintage car's engine. Sweat and oil on his bones.

July- Jackal- Fem Ecto formed to show off the most skimpy yet classy bikini, sunglasses and hat on, typical sexy beachgoer pose on the beach.

Aug- Jay- Firefighter pants, bare top, holding a firehose wrong, leaning against a fire station trying to look sexy. Ink can be seen dying of laughter in the BG.

Sept- Dingo- Lumberjack getup, with the flannel top open and collar shining, muzzle still on. He's leaning against a tree, one hand in his (really low) jean pocket, the other holding a suspiciously bloody axe that rests on his shoulder. Red haze filters through his muzzle.

Oct- Vulture- He's wearing Michael Myer's jumper, but the top half is off and arms tied around his hips. He's got blood splatters on his thick bones, a knife in one hand and the mask in the other. Large red eye gazing at the 'viewer' with his manic grin. Typical horror scene as a BG... hard to tell if it's fake or real.

Nov- Hyena- Deceptively warm setting, a table with a feast freshly cooked set upon it. He leans forward with claws on the table, nothing but an apron on. His hip bones peeking out some.

Dec- Falcon- Gyftmas setting, tree and fireplace, and he stands there with Santa's boots and pants on. Chest out for display, the black suspenders from the pants hanging down. Sitting in a chair and patting his lap for the viewer to come sit.

BONUS- Polly would make a sexi calendar of them posed against month specific backgrounds and posing appropriately.... in nothing. no ecto just bare boned... And give each of their boys a copy.

[goosedawn]

summary of art [2021]

i know this is not any of the things i said ive been working on but for the first time ever im actually able to fill one of these in, because i actually drew a whole lot this year and im very proud of that fact!!! so. heres to the new year, and may it be better than the last few we have been having ;P

links to the posts and some comments under the cut!

NOT ON TUMBLR:

jan: minecraft shenanigans!! also an evil version of my mcsona i coloured as a way to break out of artblock

feb: more minecraft shenanigans!

mar: i swear its not piss its not pleas- (i didnt do any finished pieces this month but i thought these were funny)

POSTED ON TUMBLR:

april: first piece posted to tumblr this year!! fanart of the lovely corysmiles' friendly giant au 💛 i kind of want to try redraw this sometime 👀

may: first page of equivalent exchange! :D didnt get to post it until the next month tho ajhdndmbhfjhv

june: more equivalent exchange from the same comic set :]

july: man i really had One whole au at the time huh,,, even more of the equivalent exchange au!

aug: i dare not try fit all the art i did in august into this one space. so take this page instead. i drew SO much in august.

sept: most popular post! still pretty proud of how it turned out like damn!!!!!! >:0 i drew that????

oct: a commission that ended up being one of my favorite things ive drawn this year! 💛💛 (DAMN!!! I DREW THAT??????)

nov: first attempt at landscapes in Years, turned out much better than expected jhbdjknkjdkjnd (im running out of ways to emphasize this but DAMN!!!!!!!!!! I DREW THAT??????)

dec: the link just goes to the right top drawing, cos. the other one that hasnt been posted yet ahahahhhhaaaaaaaaaa,,,,, ill post it eventually. mermaid karl <3 also i just wanted to fill space and ballpitboo was also from december its fine

-----

thanks for sticking around through all this!! its very cool to see how my style has changed through this year (and how it hasnt) and i hope you will hang around for more :>

[hotchkiss-and-tell]

Dates or Time of Year for Each Nancy Drew Game

whatamagicalplace made one of these charts last year. Those efforts gave me a starting point but I wanted to tweak it after doing my own research. I decided to share my final result since my version differs from hers in several ways. My reasoning for each game is discussed below; but if you have any evidence to add, feel free.

SCK: Nancy says in the opening letter she took a semester off school to visit Eloise in Florida. The banners for Senior Prom are still prominent throughout the school and the event is scheduled for May 23. Game takes place in a single day but that day could be any time in late spring semester prior to May 23.

SCK2: Homecoming banners are prominent and the event is scheduled for Sept 23. A flyer with Jake’s secret messages has a date of Sept 05, so let’s assume Jake was still alive then. The game says Nancy is there to investigate after Jake was murdered “last week.” That could mean three to seven days after the murder since it happened on a Thurs. Thus Remastered takes place in a single day but that day could be anywhere from Sept 08 to 22.

STFD: Nov 13 (confirmed with calendar). Game takes place for as many days and nights as player needs.

MHM: “Winter Festival” and Charlie studying for finals indicates late Nov to early Dec. Newspaper about the lost gold at the end is dated Mar 03; it could’ve been published after money settlement and the renovations completed though. Game takes place for as many days and nights as player needs.

TRT: December. The Spanish letter from Lisa’s friend is dated Nov 30 and acknowledges that Lisa is already in Wisconsin. By now, time should be well into Dec. 

FIN: Possibly Nov (game’s release) but there are no confirmed dates on anything. It’s likely during the school year since Maya is doing the interview for the student newspaper. Game takes place over three days.

SSH: Calendar on Henrik’s desk is for the month of April. The book version takes place during the DC Cherry Blossom parade which usually occurs last week of March or early April. Game takes place for as many days as player needs. (Early April timeline would match with end of game trailer and dates for DOG.)

DOG: Jeff’s calendar is open to April. Culprit’s log book says Sally is due to move in to the cabin on April 19. Sally says she spent four weeks at Moon Lake, implying the game starts May 18. But I really don’t see Jeff’s character forgetting to change the calendar, so either Sally moved in early or she means four weeks total including seeing the property, bidding, and the final sale plus moving in. And let’s remember there’s no safe water source, so it’s unlikely Sally could live there for four weeks straight. Sally says the dogs howled a full week before they attacked the house and then they appeared every night since; maybe Sally lasted 9-14 days with the ghost dogs. The game could likely begin anywhere between Apr 28 and May 18. Then continue for as many days and nights as the player needs.

CAR: Culprit’s emails with black market dealer date from May 23 through June 04. Harlan’s appt book opens to June 09-13 with the significant clue on June 10. Game is a single day, likely on June 10, but could be as early as June 05.

DDI: June 17 (confirmed with calendar). Single day of gameplay.

SHA: Sept 15 to 17. Nancy’s airline ticket confirms arrival date in AZ. Timeline of the game takes place in three days. (Tex’s b-day is Sept 16!)

CUR: This is anybody’s guess. Hugh and Linda were married Aug 22. The lawyer’s letter to Mrs. Drake states Linda must live at the manor for another three months to fulfill the “six-month-habitation-clause” and those six months must be consecutive in the first year of marriage. Game could be late Nov at the earliest. However, frogs are chirping when Nancy arrives at the manor which is a spring thing and Bess and George say they are attending sailing camp. The fact that no one is suggesting that Linda can leave due to health reasons and start the six months over when she’s well again makes me think the year is half gone already. So the game could also be taking place in April or May at the latest.

CLK: May 07 (confirmed with calendar). Single day of gameplay.

TRN: We see snow in Copper Gorge, but it’s in Colorado and snow can be any time of year there. Frank and Lori are wearing the puffy vests and everyone else has jackets and sweaters. Fatima says it’s the off-season now and summer is the busy season. Makes me think winter is my best guess.

DAN: Game takes place for as many days as player needs. The newspaper on Day 1 is dated Aug 28. Newspapers continue to appear through Sept 06, which publishes that the journalists are negotiating for raises and the sounds of the impending strike are occurring outside JJ’s apartment. Day 11 (Sept 07) and onward have no more newspapers appear on the kitchen table. Let’s say Aug 28 to Sept 07 for simplicity.

CRE: Mike’s calendar is set to March. Quigley’s tape recorder log updates as of Mar 28. Craven’s shipping records say his latest sample was sent to Aikens Biotech on Apr 09. Game takes place in a single day, probably Apr 09 or 10. (Mike just hasn’t turned over the calendar yet)

ICE: Newspaper in the lodge is dated Jan 13. Elsa’s resignation letter is dated Jan 15. Lodge computer says Lupe checked in on Jan 15 and she noticed the lack of maid services for days. Game likely takes place that same week, starting maybe Jan 18 at the earliest, and lasts over several days and nights.

CRY: May 31 (confirmed with calendar). Single day of gameplay.

VEN: Newspaper in the Ca’ terrace says chalice was stolen “this morning” and the police records say the theft happened Jan 25. When Nancy nabs Nico on the stakeout, the next day’s newspaper is dated Feb 03. Since game takes place over several days, it likely plays from Jan 25 to Feb 03.

HAU: Night of May 28. The wedding is set for June 01. The end dialogue says Kyler and Matt couldn’t stop saying “I love you” from when the rocket launched to four days later, which was their wedding day.

RAN: The float plane pilot says resorts like Dread Isle shut down in the summer for “hurricane season” in the Bahamas. And the game was released in July. Since we see the map that charts all of Nancy’s past cases (including HAU) so the game is after the wedding on Jun 01. But there is no reference to the current date aside from “summer.” Single day of gameplay.

WAC: The essay Mel receives from her teacher with the plagiarist comments is dated Nov 21. Since two more nights of sleep are required to trigger events in the game, we can figure that the game takes place from Nov 21 to 23.

TOT: Scott’s calendar is open to May and filled in with code until the 19th. The log book of precipitation is filled out until May 24. Game likely takes place from May 20 to 25.

SAW: The TE-Japan brochure in Nancy’s teacher tote says her exchange program runs from Jun 01 to Sept 15 with different durations of 2 weeks, 3-4 weeks, and 5-8 weeks. With no specific date in the game and the player taking as many days and nights as needed to solve the mystery, we have to settle for saying it takes place in “summer.”

CAP: Karl’s daily calendar is on page March 12. When Nancy finds the final forged email from “Markus” she remarks that it has tomorrow’s date, which is Mar 13. Game is a single night of play on Mar 12.

ASH: Newspaper and police report of Nancy’s arrest say the game is done in a single day of August 18. The fire took place on Aug 17.

TMB: It’s the desert and there are no dates on any clue in the game. Since Lily is a student and Abdullah and Jon are professors, perhaps the game takes place in summer between any busy semester/class schedules.

DED: Ellie’s notepad in the control booth says she gave the coil demo to Nancy on Oct 29. Nancy arrived in daylight hours but since Ellie is on the night shift, the demo could have taken place on either side of midnight which means the game could start on either Oct 28 or 29. (Nancy arrived 10/28, night fell and midnight passed, then Ellie gives demo 10/29 OR Nancy arrives 10/29, night fell and it’s not midnight yet, then Ellie gives the demo still on 10/29.) Game continues for as many days and nights as the player needs.

GTH: Jessalyn’s phone recorded her bachelorette party antics from the night of Oct 27 to early morning of Oct 28. Addison says Jess had vanished for the second time after sun-up. It is unclear how many days Jessalyn has been missing before Nancy arrives on the island. Nancy was deep asleep when Savannah calls her for help, which means Jess has been gone at least a full day. Then Nancy arrives on the island at night which either means it’s evening on the same day of Savannah’s call or another day has passed by the time Nancy gets there. Oct 29 is the earliest possibility. Game takes place over three nights. Likely set between Oct 29 and Nov 01.

SPY: The newspaper reports that July 14 is near and it will be the eighth anniversary of Revenant’s first attack. Alec’s letter documents that his sister was kidnapped on the first of the month and has not been seen since. Game takes place between Jul 02 and 14. While Nancy cannot sleep or change the time of day, it is hard to believe that traveling back and forth throughout Scotland’s towns and the different phases of the spy operation all take place in a single day.

MED: Summer in the southern hemisphere, so datewise it’s set between Dec and Feb. Again there’s no sleep or time of day transitions but the elimination rounds likely take place over several days.

LIE: Employee timecards are recorded through July 05, the artifact exchange log is filled out through July 06, and the packing slip on the open crate says received July 06. Game is a single day of play, likely on July 06 or 07.

SEA: Soren’s winter guest log says Nancy is visiting in January. Game takes place for as many days and nights as player needs.

MID: Minion’s plane ticket TO Austria where the game begins is dated Oct 26 and the game goes into Halloween.

[parkerflix]

MY UNIVERSE.

(or alternatively, the people who have made my experience on here so wonderful) + a mini year in review <3

honestly, i’ve never really done one of these (mainly because i truly keep to myself on this app & it takes me a while to get out of my shell,,) but i think this year has been the year for me with the most growth on here. and these people have been here for me!

my very lovely moots: @spilledtee @freckledwinterfalls @nyctophilin @mygnolia @cupidchois @bluhr @taecup-fics

i love seeing you all on my tl and just your writing makes me smile <333

special notes(not very long sorry guys sad face emoji i’m rlly bad at writing notes)!

husna @masterninjacow - husna! you’re so funny and sweet i’m rlly glad we met through ficscafe! your writing makes me go swirl eyes emoji and your music taste is superior! i literally enjoy our talks of games, marvel and practically anything and you’re super cool!

lin @fullsunfluff - lin! you never cease to make me laugh and smile and i’m super grateful we met! your writing is top notch and you’re super funny ahh i’m really glad we met <3333

virginia @primroseyunho - virginia! you’re one of the sweetest people i’ve met on here fr you are just the biggest ray of sunshine ever <3 words literally fail me im sorry but i’m also glad we met ur just so ): ily <3

(me quickly realizing i don’t interact much i am so sorry)

mini year in review of writing!

tbh i didn’t really write much this year it feels, i did a lot of writing in late 2020 and early 2021-mid 2021 was me writing on my side blog like. nonstop shdhdjsb but anyways!

my fic timeline of the past year!

about love- june 6; my first smau and probably gonna be my longest

starstruck- aug 24; my second smau, ngl probably my favorite it’s been rlly fun to write

why won’t you love me? - aug 31

our love is homeless- sept 9

our north star- oct 2

stupid to love you- oct 19

just between us- nov 13

sun and moon- dec 25

the haunting- tba (hyunjin fic based on all too well 10 minute version) this one is a work in progress,, at this point i might have to break it into parts….

writing this out i realized it doesn’t seem like a lot ahh ):

final thoughts- (writing this at 2:04 am new year’s day)

i was extremely lucky to meet all these people and just get to know everyone and i’m wishing everyone a happy new year! <3

[rinaforstars]

rating every concert ive been to (ongoing)

blood sweat & tears (jul. 22, 2017) @ barnstable county fair stage

don’t remember this except it was at the barnstable county fair and it was too dusty lmao.

1/10

queen w/ adam lambert (jul. 25, 2017) @ td garden

i had no idea who adam lambert was (i was like 10 at the time) but he was amazing. this was my first concert so it was something else. nothing will top this concert.

9.5/10 (they did not play is this the world we created…? so minus .5)

blackpink (apr. 27, 2019) @ firstontario centre

we had to drive 7 hours to get to this one, but oh gods were they good. they played like all their songs (which wasn’t much at the time.) rosé was so pretty!! and her solo cover??? absolute icon.

6/10 was very tired and my throat was sore for days.

the rolling stones: no filter (jul. 7, 2019) @ gillette

i had a panic attack at the beginning and could not hear when a song ended/started but was still really good!

5/10

the who: moving on (sept. 13, 2019) @ fenway

THIS CONCERT. absolutely amazing. my aunt met charlie watts a couple of days later and showed him photos of us lmao. setlist was amazing.

7/10

day6: gravity (sept. 15, 2019) @ the orpheum

absolutely amazing. my aunt was matching with jae for half of the concert lol. crowd was amazing. we sang happy birthday to jae bc it was his birthday!! i still have the banner <3

8/10

stone temple pilots (nov. 5, 2021) @ the palladium

absolutely iconic. we had seats that were literally over the stage. dean deleo kept trying to throw us picks but kept missing lol. (my twin ended up getting one) opening band was pretty slay too.

7.5/10

genesis (dec. 16, 2021) @ td garden

honestly i do not remember this concert. like at all lmao

4/10

the who: the who hits back! (may 18, 2022) @ td garden

ICONIC! loved this concert, played so many bangers and we sang happy birthday to pete townshend. beat that.

9/10

waxahatchee (june 21, 2022) @ the roadrunner

very vaguely remember this and i wanted to leave the entire time.

3/10 i lost one of my earrings:(

barrie (jul. 21, 2022) @ mfa

got in for free lmao. it was at the mfa and my aunt works there so we got free tickets. got to meet the artist too, she was vv nice. .5 gets knocked off bc some dudes dawgs were out the entire time. traumatizing.

9.5/10

elton john: goodbye yellow brick road (jul. 27, 2022) @ gillette

had a panic attack at the beginning of it bc my dad yelled at me but it was so slay. very emotional. everyone was SCREAMING the lyrics to rocketman it was so fun.

8.5/10

earth wind and fire & santana (aug. 10, 2022) @ xfinity center

ewf: absolutely incredible. so slay. played boogie wonderland and then lets groove and then september. the three remaining members were so slay.

santana: honestly did not pay attention and had a panic attack in the middle of it lmao.

ewf: 9/10

santana 2/10

japanese breakfast w/ yo la tengo (sept. 29, 2022) @ the roadrunner

so slay, although some old guy kept rubbing up against me💀. i was with my aunt (concert buddy) and my dad the entire time and we were just vibing.

8/10

the rose: heal together tour @ the roadrunner (oct. 17, 2022)

basically a birthday concert, wanted to cry they were so amazing. woosung/sammy was so ethereal in the light. dojoon kept making faces at our section. jaehyeong was so pretty, hajoon was so cute. crowd was amazing!!! played all the bangers. played my favorites back to back!!! jaehyeong finished my heart at the end while wearing the MA flag!!

10/10

the cure (jun. 16, 2023) @ the bell centre

ok this concert was great aside from the fact i was running on 5 hrs of sleep. robert smith sounded amazing and just like the songs. a point gets knocked off bcs of the annoying woman in front of us, another gets knocked off bcs we were hungry and there was very limited food options on the floor we were on.

8/10

tears for fears (jun. 27, 2023) @ cmac performing arts center

i 🫶 amphitheater shows. we all thought they were gonna play everybody wants to rule the world and mad world during the encore but they played ewtrtw SECOND and mad world halfway through the show. recognized more songs than i thought (sowing the seeds of love, etc). we got moved closer to the stage bc some of our seats were blocked by the projectors so bonus points.

9/10

extreme w/ living colour (aug. 05, 2023) @ the roadrunner

went for my uncle, got to stand in vip and chill out it was great. more than the words was on top and living colour was great.

8/10

måneskin (sept. 25, 2023) @ td garden

slaid the house down. i love them! screaming and crying they were so amazing. even uncle (picky w bands) was impressed. love thomas & vic sm.

10/10

eric nam (oct. 14, 2023) @ roadrunner

birthday concert pt. 2! got to help out & meet my aunt’s coworkers and so many other amazing people. he sounded so good and it was so fun. bu shout out!

9.5/10