#i really think if you like onlyoneof you will like them too...

[qazastra]

only ten songs okay? 33 minutes? give it a try at least? for me?

[qazartz]

sketched these the night before the nyc show on little cards to give to them during fan chat. did not turn out half bad!

[bengiyo]

BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes,  The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

[skinzchoerim]

OnlyOneOf's dOpamine concert in Warsaw - my experience (+sentimental musings about the lore and its messages)

The first thing I need to get out of the way is that their crowd interaction game is 1000/10. They went on stage already knowing at least two greetings in Polish, and then Kyubin and Nine did a whole pantomime to explain their understanding of them. They presented "elo" as being very casual, best done with a bro chest bump, and they were correct about that. The funniest thing was when Nine showed "siema" (a greeting that's basically just as casual as "elo") as being very polite and official with a bow of the head. And hey, if he thinks that's the most official greeting in Polish, who are we to argue?

The translator wasn't very good so a lot of the context got lost, but they said that while sightseeing they met an elderly lady who was a lyOn. Then they met an elderly man from Busan who they hoped to turn into a lyOn, but he wasn't interested, and Nine said that's just how people from Busan are lol. Junji talked about how much he loved the view and that it made him feel really sentimental, which somehow turned into JunRie doing a couple dance with a spin. I really wish I had a video of it, I also can't find any taken by other people 😔

When the time for seOul drift came they asked about a Polish car brand, and of course everyone yelled "MALUCH!!!", so it was hilarious when they asked us to do a Warsaw drift in a maluch with them.

At some point the audience started chanting "zajebiście" which basically means "fucking awesome", and they were very keen to learn how to pronounce it. I really hope they remember it cause that would be iconic.

Now let's do a time leap and go back to what happened before the concert.

I watched the fanchat from afar and had the best view of Yoojung who looked really invested in everyone he talked to. I was surprised to see how wide and baby-like Rie's face is, it's really cute. Everyone says they look even better in real life, and personally I don't find that to be true. I think they're exactly as beautiful as they appear on screen. I'll explain it in more detail later.

Now for the fansign, which... my god. My worst fear when I saw how little time was reserved for it came true, because it really went by at the speed of light. I'm really glad I brought the prints to give them, because there was no way they would have noticed the shirt. For reference, here is what I gave them (Yoojung got two):

Junji was first, he smiled and said a cheerful "Hi!", I handed him the album and then quickly gave him the print before having to move on to Rie who was already making eye contact. I don't remember his exact reaction to the print, but he seemed positively surprised. Yoojung was the one who had the biggest reaction, his mouth did the '0' he often does and he either gasped or said "wow", it was all genuinely too fast for me to process and file away every detail. I don't remember Nine's reaction well because I was still reeling from Yoojung's (also I was distracted by his scar makeup, cause damn, it looked realistic). I think he said "thank you", although I'm not sure if he even looked down at the print. Mill also seemed positively surprised. Kyubin was last, and thanks to that I got to watch his reaction for the longest, although it was still barely a second. He looked at the print and then made eye contact with me while he was handing me the signed album. There was something about the look on his face that made me wish I had a moment longer to ask what was going through his head, but unfortunately all I could do was smile, give him an awkward nod goodbye and walk off. Did he recognize that he's seen the drawing before? Was he just surprised? Did he like it? I have no idea.

The hi-touch went by even faster since the staff told us to run. The pictures were taken with about 10-13 lyOns each. After the whole thing was done, I knew that for the next concert (fingers crossed 🤞) I'll have to buy the VVIP+ benefits. To be fair to myself, there was already a lot going on in the days leading up to the concert and preparing for the fanchat would've only added unimaginable levels of stress, but I think that the second time around, I'd be able to approach it with more ease. More on that later as well.

While waiting for the concert to start, some of their songs were playing in the background. The volume was fairly low and the amount of noise in the hall made it impossible to hear anything beyond the bassline and percussion, but that just made me wish that they'd release their entire discography with only those two elements cause let me tell you, it sounded SICK.

I started to really regret not getting the VVIP+ benefit once the concert began and the people in front of me covered the view with not just their heads, but also phones and lightsticks. I was only in the third/fourth row, but everyone in front of me was taller so I couldn't see everything that was going on, and seeing the videos others shared on Twitter it does seem like I missed a lot. Still, it was the perfect spot to get sprayed with water which happened more times than I could count (mostly Kyubin's deed, thanks bro I needed it).

The performances were absolutely top tier, but did anyone expect otherwise? I need them to release the dOpamine remix, I'd listen to it way more than the original. I couldn't see Yoojung during begin at all because he performed a little further back, so I'm really glad that once the medley was done they all sang the choruses of the solos again with the audience. Did I cry? No, but very fucking nearly, especially when we all sang begin together. Another moment that nearly brought me to tears was when Nine finished performing beyOnd and the music cut one line into the second verse. Obviously part of the reason why it sounded so heartbreaking was how unexpected the ending was and how much I wanted it to go on for longer, but it also sounded like someone suddenly took away his voice, so it fit the theme of Things I Can't Say LOve perfectly.

Speaking of having his voice taken away, I'm happy to report mine wasn't. The concert experiences I ruined for myself by freezing up and not joining everyone else in having fun outnumber the ones I approached with ease and made great memories during. I was especially worried since the previous concert I've been to, Odd Eye Circle's, unfortunately fell into the former category. The English version of Loonatic was my skinz before skinz existed, and when they performed it, anxiety got the better of me. I couldn't even open my mouth to attempt to sing along, and I still have regrets about it, because I know it would have been a liberating experience.

But none of that happened this time. I sang every song along with them (was I feeling smug that I knew almost all of the lyrics when the people around me only knew the English bits? yes, sue me). I put my whole fucking soul into my favorite songs, especially mirage, seOul drift and skinz. I can't even begin to describe how special it felt. Yelling the lyrics to skinz with lyOns all around me and OnlyOneOf a few meters away felt like a full circle moment. skinz was the beginning of so many things for me, and it's such a therapeutic song that's been helping me express myself unapologetically slowly, bit by bit over the past two and a half years. It doesn't matter that I don't have as many vivid memories of the concert as I wish I had, because I know that those two hours on June 12th 2024 have been euphoric and liberating, and I will carry that feeling with me every day, getting a little taste of it each time I listen to these songs again.

While after the fact I do wish the concert had gone on for longer, at the time it felt like the perfect length. The amount of songs in the encore was a genuinely nice gesture, because they were slowly getting people prepared for the end while constantly whipping out another performance, which is a really smart way to leave the audience in high spirits. I think they ended up performing four songs for the encore - OOO yOu, angel, lOve me and dOpamine (without choreo this time), and then the first verse and chorus of time leap right before they left the stage.

The acoustics in Progresja aren't the best, but it was an amazing experience to hear them sing live. I feel like in a lot of recordings it's kind of hard to tell if they're singing live or if it's playback because the vocal and music layers sort of merge into one. I might share the videos that my mom took with her phone, because hers actually captured that live quality of their singing.

I know me writing this here won't change anything, but I have to put I out there - these kinds of stages weren't made for K-pop acts. I can't imagine anyone aside from the people in the first row or someone very tall was able to see the elements of choreography that took part on the floor or the subtitles on videos (which come on, they at least could have had the foresight to place them on the upper part of the screen, not the bottom). K-pop groups - or anyone who doesn't just stand there holding a mic but has a visual side to their performance - should perform in buildings that are constructed like theaters, with the floor gradually rising so everyone can see the stage comfortably. It seems that the Madrid venue was exactly like that, so if anyone reading this was there or at a different concert in a similar venue I'd love to hear about your experience!

Now something that might cheer up anyone who hasn't seen them perform live - this concert made me very grateful that cameras exist and allow us to watch their performances filmed professionally. It's obvious that they're amazing performers from a distance, but only when a camera gets up close and captures the way they express every song and choreography with their faces does it actually hit. I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, Yoojung is such an impressive and expressive performer, both in his body and face, and having close ups of his facial expressions is a gift from heaven.

As I laid down in bed and my emotions were cooling off, it dawned on me how many good things in my life I owe to them and how special it is to have this one artist I can point to and say "the time I spent with them changed me for the better". I think seeing them live isn't even the pinnacle of my experience as a fan, but everything I carry with me every day that I have thanks to them. That being said, I really want to see them again. Most of what I've written down here was right after the concert, but now I don't feel like I remember as much as I want to. Nonetheless, this was my favorite concert among the ones I've attended and the most special experience of my life so far. Next time I'm getting VVIP+ and getting closer to that stage so I can finally enjoy the view in peace. I'm not even taking the option that they won't return here into account. They will last forever and they will have an infinite number of world tours.

This is where this post stops being a concert review and becomes sentimental musings of an unhinged person, so strap in. I did my best to structure this section in a way that would clearly communicate my thoughts to someone who isn't the owner of my brain and therefore doesn't have the exact mind map of interpretations of the various elements of OnlyOneOf's lore. The things I say here might be something most of us have thought or felt at some point, so what I hope to achieve here is simply it put into words, because I don't think anyone else has done that in the context of OOO.

I have to start by defining what exactly I mean whenever I say “the lore” (please don't make a drinking game out of every time I say "lore" in this post, you will die). Just like with any other K-pop group who has a deeply thought out concept, “the lore” encapsulates everything related to their conceptual work - songs, music videos, lyrics, teasers, MV descriptions, symbolism, references etc. What makes my definition of OOO’s lore deviate from how I'd define other K-pop groups' lore is the elements that make OOO's lore itself different from any other. K-pop storylines are known to be complex, but the ones I’m familiar with can all be described in the form of a story with specific characters played by the members, various events, superpowers and plot twists. OOO’s lore is more focused on emotions - loneliness, desire, love, fear. Because of that, the facts of what happens in the work itself can take second place to the emotional value of it. Their story can't be analyzed like a book with a beginning, middle and end, because it's too ambiguous and multifaceted for that. We can instead discuss the themes and observe the emotional progression happening within the lore. I like to compare analyzing their lore to untangling the chord of your earphones, because when you start getting frustrated at yet another impossible knot, you can just give it a rest, put the earphones in and enjoy how their art makes you feel.

I think it was the youtuber LOU who first viewed something OOO had made through the lens of cubism in her video about dOra maar, but I'd take it a step further and say that OOO's art makes the most sense if you look at everything from a cubist perspective, i.e. there isn't a single perspective on anything, but multiple viewpoints that all work together to create what we could call "the lore". It becomes easier to take a look at the whole picture the lore paints if you keep that in mind.

We observe an internal journey across various songs that connect to each other in smaller or bigger ways. We can, but we don't have to view all of them as being one person's story. The lore contains a collection of themes that create an ambiguous, unnamed protagonist whom we see represented by the bOy wearing cOmme des garçOns or the characters in the be series. None of them are THE protagonist, but they all make up the protagonist, because they all offer different perspectives on the themes that drive OOO's art and have been building up the group's identity over the past five years.

All of what I've mentioned thus far is just creative fiction. There is another perspective on their art that has real life implications, because there are real people whose job it is to express the inner world of the protagonist through songs and performances. OOO's music videos acknowledge their status as idols in the same way other K-pop groups with a fictional narrative do - they break the fourth wall by showing snippets of choreo and lipsyncing in between storytelling. OOO could be written off as nothing more than actors in entirely fictional roles if it wasn't for how intertwined they are with the themes in their art, in no small part thanks to how active they are in the creative process, but even beyond that. Their job as idols is acknowledged within the narrative (skinz MV, beyOnd description, the name of undergrOund idOl). So, their life as idols with a fandom is yet another perspective through which we can view their themes.

Here is where our role as spectators becomes important, because this aspect of the lore couldn't exist without our input. The way we respond to it and the conversation we create around it is what gives it meaning.

One side of the lore is the human side - the intimate and natural imagery of the libidO MV, the cozy warmth of cOy, the fun of blOssOm's choreography. On the other side, there are parts of the lore that feel emotionless and cold - MVs like sage, time leap, asOiaf, dOpamine, or graphics for Off angel and dOra maar. This dichotomy is something that can be used to discuss a lot of themes, like emotional distance in romantic relationships or a feeling of being ostracized by society. For the benefit of this post, I'll focus only on parasocial relationships between artists and fans.

Being a fan is both an experience of intense connection and distance that goes way beyond just oceans and borders. The one-sided nature of a parasocial relationship can be difficult to navigate for some people, but it seems to be something a lot of us need. It's comforting to know that you can develop a strong emotional bond with someone you're completely detached from and don't have to do any of the work a real interpersonal relationship needs; you just get to enjoy yourself as you receive art and entertainment. But that comfortable distance distorts the way we perceive the artist's personhood. We know and understand that they're a fellow human being, but we can't help that we never have an opportunity to experience them as such. They’re not people to us in the sense that they have no physical presence in our lives, they're just a series of recorded images projected onto a screen, filtered and airbrushed. We can watch them act like regular people on and off the stage, but whether we want to or not, we perceive them as more glamorous than anyone we meet on a daily basis. How could we not when part of their job is to tower over us while looking like a perfectly crafted illustration every time they get on stage?

This is where another theme present in OnlyOneOf’s art comes in, which is putting someone on a pedestal. In their songs, it's discussed in the context of romantic, artist/muse or God/follower relationships, but the part of the lore I'm talking about here is something that exists in the way we as spectators perceive them and their work.

Idols are human - I'm aware I'm not making an interesting point by acknowledging that. The reason I've been inspired to write about this in the first place is that I realized how being in physical proximity to someone you have a parasocial relationship with can shift your perception of their humanity.

I didn't buy the VVIP+ benefit because I knew I would be way too nervous about those six minutes and I'd probably spend most of that time awkwardly pretending I can hear what they're saying through the noise all around. Never meet your heroes, because you might make an idiot out of yourself, or however the saying goes. I thought I was in the vast minority who felt this way due to my anxiety while other lyOns would be ecstatic to get to meet them face to face. However, while I was standing in the queue I overheard a lot of people talking about how nervous they were, which is funny, because why the hell would any of us be nervous? They're the ones who are about to have a crowd of strangers observing their every move and recording every little mistake, they should be feeling the most nervous of us all! This got me thinking about why anyone would be nervous to meet their favorite artist, and the conclusion I came to is that it's intimidation. We're not wrong to feel intimidated; I think it's perfectly normal and natural in this scenario. I'd say it’s also quite healthy, because you’re not able to get too familiar with someone who intimidates you, which ensures the emotional distance required within a parasocial relationship is kept. As with everything, it's about balance. The problem appears when the emotional distance between a regular audience member and an idol grows so large that it becomes dehumanizing. Unfortunately, seeing how Korean netizens and international fans alike latch onto tiny things to criticize about the things idols do and say, this is still a very relevant topic. A pedestal that's too high can result in an approach that's entitled, cold, and often cruel. An idol becomes an imitation of a person, someone untouchable and unshakeable. Any words thrown their way, especially online, feel insignificant in comparison to their towering presence. For the people with an especially cruel streak, finding out their actions have a psychological impact on a public figure probably makes them feel like they regained some power in this uneven relationship. To them, it's nearly impossible to perceive an idol as someone with a right to receive empathy, because in their mind, the idol is too far removed from the humanity they observe in people who exist around them.

What's important here is that the lore shows us the full spectrum of who OOO are - they're idols, singers, performers, actors; they're people with fears, desires, intimate stories and hidden sides; people who have dopamine running through their bodies, people who need connection with others and people who have things they can't say. These things can't be separated from the members, because they make sure to take this message beyond the art itself. They don't filter themselves nearly as much as most idols have to - they swear, make dirty jokes, write songs about sex, casually talk about kissing men and offhandedly mention having a romantic life without apologizing for it. They're underground idols, and they intentionally distance themselves from the unforgiving audience members who would have a heart attack if their faves acted one tenth as relaxed as OOO do on a daily basis.

What I'm trying to get at here is that OnlyOneOf's art is created with the intention to create more empathy - for queer people, for mistreated lovers, for discarded muses, for people reconciling their faith with their sexuality, for one's own self despite having a lot of internalized issues. Through doing that, they override the loneliness inherent to the stories their songs tell and create possibilities for connection. They give us art that makes us feel less lonely by being a reflection of our messiest, most intimate feelings and experiences, and in turn they ask us to recognize them as a reflection of us and to not isolate them from the full human experience just because of the job they chose and its restrictions. When Jaden Jeong said they're the future of boy groups, I think he hoped they could influence audiences to humanize the figure of the idol.

I watched them between the professionally executed performances as they riffed off of each other, laughed and zoned out while looking at the audience. There were no cuts to a different, more flattering angle, no hand in the editing room controlling what footage sees the light of day. They look more beautiful in real life not because anything about their features looks different, but because the reality of being in the same space with them and finally getting to experience them just as any other human being, even with some distance still present, is a very special experience that holds beauty of its own. At that moment, I couldn’t remember why I was nervous before, and I began to wish I had sat down with them and shared a short conversation about any random thing. It would have been imperfect, but there was no reason to be afraid of that. They're just six guys of flesh and blood who clearly love what they do and whose work has given me happiness and purpose over the past two and a half years, and I would have cherished those six minutes of interaction.

On the train home, I discovered a more sentimental feeling while listening to them, especially the songs they performed, but not exclusively. There was something more personal and artistic I heard in their voices that made each song feel like more than just a recording, but a special moment in time shared by people who created something they wanted to share with others. This feeling fades the more the time distance grows between the current me and the me that attended the concert. Two hours weren’t enough.

I don't know how to end this post other than to say how fascinating it is that including imagery of fan/idol culture and technology within the lore so it mixes with all these deeply intimate stories makes everything OOO do a living piece of art. Simply existing as idols and people fuels the reason for the existence of their concept in the way that it currently exists, and I just think it's incredible.

[shadowetienne]

Lyrical Analysis of OnlyOneOf's "dOpamine"

This is based off the official translation of the lyrics provided in the CC on the "dOpamine" MV. I did transcribe them so that I could look at them all at once, so any errors or mismatches in what I have quoted here are transcription errors (or something having changed in the CC since I transcribed it).

General ideas that I've taken away from the lyrics of "dOpamine" are that this is a story of first realizations of queer love/attraction, and that it deals with the obsession and fascination that can reside within that initial realization.

I think that there is also a question posed within thinking about this song: How can you have a fully happy and healthy love when the world/society seems to be entirely against it and the one possibility you are grasping at feels like the only possibility in the world?

[Note: this is long, I've gone through the lyrics in a lot of detail. I'm really just spinning off my thoughts on what story I think that this is telling. I would love to hear what other people think too!]

I know that we've all seen it at this point, but if you've stumbled across this and want to know what I'm talking about (or just want to watch it again, I get it) here's the MV:

Now that we're all on the same page and thinking about the lyrics, lets break this down!

FIRST VERSE

The song starts in an introspective place with:

Rummaging inside my head When I see you, my neurons wake up.

This introduces us to a place where the narrator is very much in their own head, but he has an immediate, instinctive/not thought out response to the object of the song.

This is followed by:

Like breathing, I want I want, I want, I want What you got

This particular set of lines is really interesting to me because breathing is a need, a very fundamental one, not a want or desire. It frames the entire song that this desire is being compared to breathing. It's sudden, necessary, instinctive. It also isn't normally something that you think about, breathing happens in the background, until you struggle with it and it's all you can think about. As a set up to the ideas of obsession, and potentially unhealthy love, further in the song, the feeling of this love as a need, of this ability to know the self and love in the way that comes naturally like breathing, is an understandable impetus to getting to that obsessive place.

A fantasy called love wakes me up Nobody knows, broken my heart. I used to be so bland But it completes me in a flash.

Calling love a "fantasy" makes a lot of sense in the context of queer love that is just being realized and that can't really societally be spoken. This is something that is heartbreaking to realize when it feels that no one can know you, can understand you, can let you just be you as a person with this sort of feelings of love.

But at the same time, it brings this idea that this love completes the narrator. Before knowing and understanding this about himself, he was "bland" and perhaps just going through the expected motions.

Let's get into it deeper, Even if it gradually ruins me.

This is where I start bringing in my question of "how can you have a fully happy/healthy relationship in these circumstances?" There is such an intense desire to have that connection, to get into a deeper, more fulfilling relationship, even if it ruins the narrator. There is no good option here. Will that relationship ruin the narrator from inside or outside the relationship? Who knows! But this relationship is on some level dangerous to the narrator. There's the danger from society: ruined career, ruined relationships with family and community. And there's the personal danger of an obsessive relationship, one that ends up hurting everyone involved. This is something that is a bigger danger in a relationship with the fearful rush of secrecy.

PRECHORUS 1

The prechorus has small changes each time, and this is my breaking up of the verses, but it feels like it goes here to me.

I can't control, I lose control.

I feel like one of the big things in the process of coming to terms with one's own queerness is losing the need to control and instead moving to accepting and understanding oneself. Feelings get away from you, and if you are trying to control them instead of work with yourself within them, they become this thing that can run away with you and your ability to make good decisions. I feel like that is sort of a part of what this song is about!

Adrenaline circulating in my blood vessels Blood that's gotten hotter.

I think that this framing is interesting because adrenaline can come with excitement, but it is also very much tied with fear, and there's an undercurrent of fear that sort of runs through the sound and the lyrics of this song. The fear of losing control, the fear of not knowing how this is going to go, the fear of wanting so so much that it consumes you. But that fear is also exciting!

Touching, just our reaction Feel it ecstatic emotion I want a stimulating moment. More intense, Endless thirst.

Ecstatic is a very strong word here, this is such an intense feeling, and how much better could it be? How much more could it be. There's definitely a feeling tied in here of finally having experienced something that really reaches the narrator, that makes him deeply feel this emotion, it's not just a physical response to this touch, it's hugely an emotional one. It brings us to "endless thirst" which again, like breathing earlier in the song, "thirst" is a need, not a want. It's also of course used idiomatically. The intensity of these feelings, of encountering this sort of love for the first time, is building into this all consuming need, instead of just a want.

CHORUS

This is what brings us to the titular idea of dopamine, and definitely the framing that this has fully gotten into unhealthy territory, though I'll circle back to that at the end.

You're my dopamine, dopamine Spreading and spreading, throughout my entire body Addicted (Addicted) Addicted to your love Addicted (Addicted) Addicted So beautiful.

This framing of love as an addiction, as something all consuming, and also the focus on dopamine (in itself neutral, but with the idea of chasing "dopamine highs" that you have to do more and more to achieve, which they've discussed some behind the scenes) brings us this idea of the love that is being experienced as overwhelming. It feels good, but it's taking the narrator away from everything else. It's too much for him. It's really interesting to end that chain of "Addicted" with "So beautiful," because it does sort of imply that it's not necessarily fully a bad thing either.

You're my dopamine, dopamine Cutting off and cutting off my rationality Addicted (Addicted) Addicted to your love Addicted (Addicted) Addicted Losing everything.

This half of the chorus does frame the potential problem, the reason this is an addiction, something that is concerning to the narrator: "cutting off my rationality" and "losing everything."

The feelings that the narrator is experiencing are overwhelming to the point that he can't think. He can't make good or clear decisions, he's just chasing the feeling that this sort of love is giving him. He's not sure if he's making good long term decisions because he is so overwhelmed. And that potentially has him making huge decisions that could change his life, that could have him lose a lot in his society, without actually giving it proper thought.

And that is scary! That brings us back to that adrenaline from earlier. And here, the message sort of feels like, the narrator needs to think! He might not even be making the wrong decision, but it's not being made in a way that will help him long term.

SECOND VERSE

This verse really digs into the way that the narrator feels (at least initially) in this relationship/encounter, this dynamic that is making him realize his queer feelings.

I can feel my heartbeat Like walking on a cloud Everything from the tip of my feet feels so light It feels like a dream.

This sort of feeling in a relationship feels incredible, it doesn't feel real! The narrator is almost relieved in how he is feeling light! But still, it doesn't feel real. In the moment of the connection, the relationship overshadows all those fears that we were just talking about.

Perfect visual stimuli I can't keep my two eyes away, I can't concentrate on anything else Feeling dizzy all day If I get to know you deeper I know I won't be able to get away.

Very quickly, we get back to those overwhelming feelings though! This dream is incredible, but it's also frightening, it's something that sucks the narrator in and he can't get out of. He can't step back from this realization, and it's making have hesitations. But even so, he can't back away from this realization.

PRECHORUS 2

This is mostly the same as the first prechorus, but there is an important change in the discussion of adrenaline that shows the progression of what is going on in the story of the song.

Can't stop the adrenaline Engraving it in my cells.

At this point, there's no stepping back. The narrator has learned about himself, about what he wants, about what it feels like. He can't back away, the knowledge is filling his understanding of himself. And he just wants it more and more, to the point of it feeling like a need.

CHORUS 2

We at this point can see a little more about what the narrator means by the love that he is feeling cutting off his rationality, but the bridge/third verse is what all of this is really leading into.

BRIDGE / THIRD VERSE

There is obviously a shift in the music here, also a shift in the tone. This is where we can really see that the relationship has run away with the narrator, what he's been saying about losing control, and losing rationality. This is where the utter overwhelming nature of it, and what is frightening the narrator becomes clear. This is really the pivotal point of the song.

I want you I stay up-up-up-up-up-up-up all night Getting thrilled Feel like Can't live without you, You're my only one, hana [one]

We can see how this is consuming the narrator. I think that the "Can't live without you" like is the one that really got to me. It's this idea that there is no other person who could make the narrator feel like this, and he feels like he needs to be able to feel like this now, now that he knows that it's an option. There's all this fear, all this need and want, and right now, it's all focused on this one person, this first person that the narrator has been able to feel like this with.

And that's a relatable, understandable queer feeling. Up to this point, the narrator has been repressing that sort of emotion and want, not daring to even really think about it, let alone experience it, and now he knows what it's like. But it was so hard to get here the first time! How could there be someone else that he could feel this way with?

What makes me laugh is only one Everything's interesting if it's you Especially, even more so, Just like this, more It's OK for my uncontrollable heart to ruin me

This set of lyrics is so overwhelmed, but it's interesting to me that the narrator is saying that "It's OK" that he's accepted the potential for ruin. I think that there's an element of in all this overwhelm, which is probably too much and not healthy in the long run, at least, finally, this feels right in a way that nothing like this has before.

PRECHORUS 3

We've lost the lines about control, and the lines in general have just changed a little bit, but we come back to our chorus lead in, if abbreviated. We have an interesting changed line:

Touching, new reaction Feel it intense emotion I want a stimulating emotion More intense So crazy oh.

It's interesting to me that at the end, we move to it being a new reaction. The narrator is realizing more and more about his feelings, and maybe starting to see a little further, but this is still something new and growing and evolving for him. It's what keeps him absorbed in all this. It's just "intense" here, not ecstatic anymore. There is no more adrenaline mentioned here, but that sort of build up of fear/adrenaline is remembered here.

CHORUS 3

With the final chorus, we are left on the line to finish the song:

I'm losing myself

I'd say that in a way to lead into the rest of the album, we're going to think about figuring out who the narrator is after this realization and intense, overwhelming set of feelings. The narrator has learned something about himself. He knows now that he has this attraction, that it's intense and feels incredible, but it also scares him, and it leaves him uncertain of who he even is now, of his relationship to his past self and society.

CONNECTIONS AND CONCLUSION

I think that this song is a really interesting counterpoint and echo of "libidO" because it's about instinct and unrestrained feeling, and how frightening and overwhelming they can be. When we look at this song in the body of OnlyOneOf's work and in the context of the rest of the album, and it's eventual conclusion in "gravity" we know that OnlyOneOf is leading to the message of "it's OK" and "you're allowed to feel the way you feel." Even so, these are some really understandable, big feelings for our "lovers who have not been blessed." It's good and scary at the same time!

I also think that this really ties into new relationship energy and the realization that you have to find a place of balance, to negotiate and stabilize the relationship after that initial burst of everything being new and exciting. It can't build forever, it's unsustainable and unhealthy. This song is very open ended, where will this go? It's all so new to the narrator!

I do think that it's also in conversation with many of OnlyOneOf's songs about guilt around attraction, and I like that this song isn't guilty textually, even if it is afraid! That's a feeling of progress in the overarching narrative voice of OnlyOneOf's albums.

[outsidereveries]

in the eight issue you will see...

how hyolyn is viewed by her seniors and juniors: the male idols see her as someone who brings the older generations back in one way or another, perhaps they feel that nostalgia from that time via hyolyn herself. they appreciate her for her versatility and talents. the female idols on the other hand see her as very impactful woman, they might idolise her in one point or another. i can see the other female idols see hyolyn as someone who is destined to be a trendsetter in some way, or to change her industry. they also appreciate her balanced personality.

seventeen, bts bond: overall their bond (between the two groups) is individual by its own and i can see that some members are more close than others (like jungkook and mingyu). both groups can be accepted as quite close while not communicating often (obviously why) in my opinion.

evnne career reading (until march 24'): they have the chance to become more relevant, possibly on tiktok or another social media. i do see someone shining more than the rest of the boys, possibly an earth sun sign idol /jeonghyeon, seungeon/.

how zb1 see evnne: zb1 are very optimistic for evnne and their future, so overall the thoughts are very positive! they wish only great things to happen^^

cha eunwoo, ideal type: someone real. he seems to be into these people who are authentic to their true self, no matter if he likes their personality fully or not. he might be into these type of smart people who know what and when they have to do everything when it's needed. someone who's organized by schedule if that's possible and also very chill. i do see some distinctive things such as weaker immune system (might have to wear warmer clothes in fickle or colder weather, i do imagine them wearing hats, bigger scarfs and puffer jackets around that time), making long skincare routines (possibly due to their skin, if it's more sensitive), being more emotional (like raw emotions all over themselves when they share everything surrounding themselves to eunwoo) only in front of him but have an emotionless face in front of other people, adventures (like bungee jumping!). possibly manager/ceo or similar job, related to (some sort of) leadership.

onlyoneof rie, ideal type: in the most positive way possible, i see rie is into these type of people who are struggling, like literally (mental, physical, financial even). i've seen similar things for other idols (that they see someone who's struggling as their ideal type) and as long i try to be as neutral as possible, rie is just the most optimistic out of all of them. he literally wants to be the "superman" in their eyes, like a psychologist, consult or dietolog. he seems to be into people who can be their best version of themselves when they're by his side. i am not sure if these thoughts of him are healthy or toxic, but i feel he is geniune and means well. he wants to be useful for someone and more or less to find his purpose of life. so overall keywords, he doesn't care about specific traits, he just wants to be by their side, no matter if they're good or bad.

jude bellingham, ideal type: someone whose life is very dynamic (similar to his, so possibly in the same or as public environment as his), who is very honest and doesn't sugarcoat everything they say. i don't see anything else but they can be in the law field or doing everything very fast too.

what svt mingyu feels towards jeon somi: very hopeful, very nice feelings from what i see and feel. mingyu seems to like somi a lot (i'll let other speculations be as what it is because it can be both options) and would really like to be at least very good friends. he seem to believe they would match!!

ateez, general reading: not that well as it seems, the boys seem to be in some form of isolation, i personally think that dramatic moment that I saw had happened, it looks like it's another thing though, I remember sunny (from X) has said that a producer or someone from the company, cannot remember, might depart from kq and it looks like it or similar thing has happened because ateez seem to be very dependant on that person, nothing else

yunho ateez, ideal type: basically, ✨the dream girl✨. i don't see any significant traits except optimistic, positive, dreamy, very romantic, like it feels like it's too obvious.

onlyoneof mill, ideal type: similar as jude bellingham, mill is possibly into people who are brutally honest, true to themselves (maybe less than eunwoo if i have to compare) but also very persistant, stubborn too i'd say at some point. alao innocent, clever, similar qualities and traits

what jungkook thinks of the drama uk army did: i believe he is indifferent and doesn't care. i can see that he thinks positively about that because he believes this brings more success to seventeen as a group.

zb1, 2024 career: at some point it will backfire the relevance they'll build with the time - from this uuuuup to this loooooow. i can see that it will be very great in the beginning but until the end, it will be worse than the beginning.

gunwook's relevance after 2nd comeback (the request was after crush era but since it passed when i asked, i modified it): probably the same as previous eras (only relevant to these who bias him). his popularity is unstable and might not work as expected but it definitely won't be enough, he seems to be not appreciated enough from netizens :(

update, hao's career after zb1: quite dynamic, he will still leave yuehua, but after that, nothing else, whatever the fate is for him, it will happen. i still see the same shit, i am sorry :((

due to limit of hashtags, the 8th issue stops here.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Nov 2022 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 2 of 12 - an even better kiss this ep and some background on how both of them are broken and need each other, this is popcorn worthy melodrama, keep it up. WATCH ALONG HERE.

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 7 of 8 - musical montage boyfriends date for most of this ep. I’m not mad about it. Like a 50 min OnlyOneOf MV. Poor P9! I think I finally realized why I like this couple so much, they remind me (when they are at their best) a little bit of We Best Love. Oh do we have a Kdrama separation coming in the final ep? Please no. 

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 8 of 10 - Nhai’s dad is pretty awesome, and I don’t mind that we had all this time with him and Ai chatting. Tiny concert full of crumbs, but blessed no actual singing! And the nothing continues to happen, and it continues to be shirtless. So I’m happy.

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube) 7 of 8 - Even in a ghost story, if it’s Thailand we’ve got to go to the beach and frolic. Use of I/you pronouns is super interesting and cute. I think what I like the most about these two is that they are so easily and casually boyfriends.

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 6 of 12 - LeoFiat are still the only thread that interests me, coincidentally they’re getting all the old school tropes too. Bus trip, earbud sharing, shoulder sleeping and everything.

I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) 1 of 12 - This definitely has all the markers of a bully romance, not my personal favorite. SOTUS not withstanding. This can go into BohnDuen territory a bit too much for me. So far I don’t dislike this show, but I don’t like it either and it’s definitely one of those I wish I had the 10 second fast forward button on.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Viki) 7 of 12 - Enter the faen fatal and anxiety baby is jelly - doesn't look as good on him as it does on our dentist. But HOW does he still not realize how hard he is being flirted with? I take that back, this isn’t flirting, this is courting. Like ritual old-fashioned gentlemanly marriage-in-mind how many crowns do you want in exchange level courting. I can’t believe it’s gonna be over month before this show finishes. I’m tense now. 

Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan Thurs Gaga) 5 of 8 - This thing that Japan keeps doing with gay teachers killing themselves is not exciting to me. I really love how Michan is like “look after your own damn boyfriend and stop dragging mine onto ledges”... stupid teacher drama. But oh my goodness is this show achingly sad. This prevailing wistfulness between our leads about the future that they know they will never get to have. The way Michan is constantly listening and feeling for his Koichi’s heartbeat for a reassurance that is never going to come. The way he is reconciling himself with his own loneliness and returning to that solitary state, because he will never find a soulmate like Koichi again. It’s an aching extended wistful dry-eyed kind of yearning and pain. The counteraction to how good Japan is a thirst. This show is going to break my heart. In fact, it already has. 

Choco Milk Shake (Korea Strongberry Tues YT) 5-6 of 10 - It’s Strongberry so the blind date is with the boy. Yay! No bones about it (no boning either but hey-ho). Really this is a show about connection and loneliness, it’s kind of gut wrenching for something so silly. I got to say it, because no one else will, but how is uncle’s business staying in business? I’ve never seen a single customer.

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 7 of 10 - The date was RIDICULOUS - couple’s keychains and everything. Gah. These two are too much. And then the classic penultimate ep of doom.

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y (Thai Gaga) 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.

My Roommate (Thai YT) 32 eps of 2 minutes each + terrible production values? - I’m not bothering.

Fahlanruk (Thai Sun GaGa) 12 eps - I cut my losses at ep 5. DNF

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 16 eps - could be sad v worried

2 Moons 3 (Thai Mon ??) 10 eps - Possibly a future binge watch. Rumor is it’s banal.

SELF (Thai Thurs YT) - DNF

Love Bill  (Vietnam Sat YT) - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising and stuff going on. I’ll wait and binge.

In Case You Missed It

I did a post on all of Strongberry’s offerings. 

Restart After Coming Back Home (formerly Restart After Come Back Home) is now available on Gaga! Go and watch it, it’s wonderful. Now they just have to get Seven Days and my life will be complete and my subscription love for them eternal. 

OnlyOneOf is really doing a BL. 

I did my GMMTV 2023 predictions. 

TutorYim (Cutie Pie crumbs) have been cast as the new leads in Middle Love (formerly Jimmy Tommy). 

I think this is a really good choice, actually. 

GAP the series (Sat YT) 1 of 12 has started, office set GL. WATCH IT! GL and this studio needs our support! (Also, the stairs are back!)

Coming to Viki: Love in the Air, ITSAY & IPYTM, Remember Me, and 2 new KBLs: The New Employee & Happy Ending Romance. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting this week:

Nov 24: Happy Ending Romance (Korea Thurs Gaga) 8 - stars Karam (The Boss), Ha Jong Woo, and Leo (VIXX). Formerly Happy Ending Outside the Fence - thank fuck they changed the damn title.  

Nov 26: 609 Bedtime Story (Thai Sat WeTV) 11 - another OhmFluke vehicle that’s rumored to be a good story. A one night stand leads to a series of mysterious premonitions and a possible parallel universe.

Nov 2022 still to come?

Nov ??: My School President (?? GMMTV YT) tester trailer here - it’s Love Sick + Korea & Japan's influence.

This week’s earworm: Hello Hello FT Island, doing the blog post about Kdrama actors who’d never do BL made me think about Lee Hong Ki, which made me go back to their back catalogue. I forgot how fucking killer they are. 

(last week)

[starrz-ombie]

okay, hi! soo, i'm finally here to talk about the concert. sorry for not posting about how it went earlier, my arms have been too sore to write a big post 😭 but holy shitt, genuinely had the time of my life. seriously, nothing can compare. this was my first even concert and i'm so fucking glad. i screamed, i cried, i had the best time ever. the venue wasn't too crowded, unfortunately i couldn't see 100% of it, but i did see pretty well, just missed some parts closer to the floor and stuff, (take for example, couldn't see the part where they're like thrusting their hips up in skinz, but managed to see the nine and junji crotch grab by moving around slightly.) it felt so... i guess, real? like.. actually seeing them in person, not just on a screen. and, my god i love them so fucking much. it was genuinely so fucking fun. from kb introducing himself as hot armpit guy and nine as wookie pookie to jumping around during angel. god, it was so great. genuinely could start crying just thinking about it. i don't think i've ever had that much fun, i don't think i've ever screamed so much or felt so much excitement. it's honestly really funny, i was recording when they first came on stage and you can hear me just.. yelp because it was just so... so much. to see a group that became my ult group within less than a night and then became my biggest, and hell, maybe only or at least most prominent hyperfixation for MONTHS, in person. in real life. i got into onlyoneof around june of 2023. it was the middle of the night, and i think i just saw something about them, i think something about their queer concept, if that makes any sense and i just felt such an extreme urge to become a fan. and i'm so fucking glad i did. i swear, i got instinct part 2 and undergrOund idol #2 probably less than a week after. i looked into everything i could about them. i made sure to be able to recognize every single member and watch every single music video immediately. and i immediately knew yoojung was my bias. onlyoneof was the first, and maybe only, time where i've downloaded THOUSANDS upon thousands of photos of idols. not just saving them into pinterest boards but downloading them into my camera roll and everything. they seriously caused such an effect on me. it's pretty stupid, but i feel like they made me so much happier. things i cant say lOve was my first album comeback with them and i'm so grateful that i was able to go to their concert. i really don't think i'll ever be able to forget any of it. i'll probably make a lot more posts with little details about it, maybe a photo or two, i dunno. no videos, though, because you can hear me screaming my heart out in all of them and it's honestly embarrassing to share so publicly 😭 it was seriously so great, though. i felt so in the moment for i'd say the first time ever, really. the energy was so great, from both onlyoneof and lyons. from the really energetic songs like angel, where they encouraged us to jump around and stuff and they threw water on the crowd to the calmer ones like gravity where we were waving the lightsticks to the side all slowly (with the encouragement of kb of course) it was all so fun. and of course i have to mention the merch. as far as i remember, they had shirts, pins, popsockets, pins and little keyrings of each member. i got a shirt, 3 pins and a yoojung key right of course which is the cutest thing ever and matches the pc holder i have on my yoojung light stick photocard which is cute. seriously, best experience in the entire world and i truly hope i get to go again next year, and the year after that, and the year after that, so on. thank you onlyoneof and lyon for such a magical and unforgettable night.

[binniesoob]

My very professional review of Things I Can't Say I LOve by OnlyOneOf

bare with me, i had a long day working and studying and all my two braincells left can do is singing "addict to you- addict-" and thinking about that very specific frame of yoojung from the dOpamine mv (more on this later).

not a single bad song in this album i fear.

things i can't say i lOve (instrumental)

went straight into my sci-fi dystopian cyberpunk playlist. the sound is sooo cool to me!! it's giving ateez ngl (affectionate). love the fact that it's not too rough on the ears and has that airy (?) ending. i've replayed it an embarrassing amount of times already... watch it being one of my most played songs this month 💀

dOpamine

since the preview i suspected i was going to enjoy this title track a lot and more than seOul drift, and i was right! i really like the contrast between the industrial sounds and percussions of the verses reminiscing of chrOme hearts and the guitar in the pre-chorus and bridge (that made me levitate btw). the build-up is nice 😌👌 it's on the ooo chillier side aka perfect for me yay

give me the lOve, bitxx

the sound is giving alternative rnb (too tired to know for sure), so i was sold already 😋 she's the brighter sister of "mirage", the toxic one of "suit dance", and the chiller one of "gaslighting". she sits at the same table of "time machine", "desert" and "heartbreak terminal", and i love this for me because i love all these songs 😎

i might be completely wrong about all the associations above though ... my mind is playing a mashup remix of all of them at this point lol

O

nothing better than a slow sexy rnb-ish sound with percussions to make me happy 🤌 the sound production is so cool again, idk how to articulate words more than this rn, but all the various sounds work perfectly together and with ooo's voices 😌👌 talking of voices... kb's deep register esp in the beginning!! more of this in the future please and thank u 🙌 mill mini-rap followed by junji higher note!! can't seem to hear enough of yoojung tho 🧐👂 and that's a crime also because this is my fav track of the album 😠 i'm gonna look for a color-coded lyrics vid to check 🤨

gravity

this song is sooooo gooooddd ahhhhhhhh really my vibe once again 🤭 the chorus is so cute <3 and nine and junji in the bridge 😮💨 i am levitating 🕴 tbh i see it as a perfect chiller title track too, if ooo had made a bright, cute concept, the genre of vibes that love 119 by riize and inbloom by zerobaseone are for example, but chiller 🤔 also, I CAN HEAR MY MAN YOOJUNG CLEARLY HERE THANK U

time for my current ranking:

O

gravity

dOpamine

give me the lOve, bitxx

in conclusion, i really missed my boys ☹ more than i thought i did tbh! i'm so happy we finally have new music from them 🫶🏻 there's no better way to start the new year~

this is all for now because i am too tired to write anything more 😴

let me know your thoughts!! 🫶🏻

[married-2-the-music]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Only One Of (Supplemental)

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. All this to say, for the love of god, I’m a sleep-deprived student and I don’t have time for internet hate, so don’t kill me. With that being said, enjoy!

So, since I’ll probably be tackling some groups with large discographies, both now and in the future, I thought it’d be good to shine lights on some smaller groups and soloists who either aren’t as popular and/or have much smaller repertoires, so that’s what we’re doing today! These are going to be a lot more chill than my deep dives because they’re really more of a fun break than anything else.

Here are my credentials: I’d already been a fan of SHINee for a while before, but it was actually OnlyOneOf that helped me realize that I wasn’t just a girl group stan and SHINee weren’t just a one-off. I’m mainly a fan of their Underground Idol solos series so I’m looking forward to hearing more of their other titles and b-sides. Let’s do this!

OnlyOneOf debuted in 2019 with seven members: Love, Nine, Yoojung, Rie, KB, Junji, and Mill (Love left in 2021). They’re most known for their…concept in a way? Basically, for basing their music around queerness, while not stating their actual orientations. This is thorny territory, as k-pop is infamous for its shipping and fanservice-heavy culture, which we could argue about until we’re so blue in the face that we’d be mistaken for smurfs. Is it queerbaiting? Is it representation? I know what I believe, but is that “right”? I don’t know. Either way, it’s important to keep in mind (even as I’m going to praise them for the good work they’ve done) that what they’re doing is, at the end of the day, proving profitable.

We start off with Savanna, which has one hell of a music video intro. The song is more subdued than I’m used to from their later singles, but with a similar subject matter. It gives me Taemin vibes with its self-assured sexuality, but speaking of sexuality, what would later make them famous is basically non-existent here. I do like this song, especially the slowed-down reverb and distortion, but it’s not especially unique, and it didn’t have a lot of staying power with me. I love the drama of the visuals though—I’m a sucker for cathartically lighting things on fire. (For the FBI agents reading this, I promise that that was a joke.)

From the Dot Point Jump single, I enjoyed the chill soft-rock of Time Leap, which absolutely did have staying power for me and I added it to my playlist. I really liked that chorus, and by the end of the first one, I was in. I think their voices both blend better and feel more unique in this one than in the title, which is probably another reason I liked it so much. Blossom I enjoyed less but it reminded me more of what I’m used to from them.

Sage is up next, and again we have a really odd MV intro. A lot has changed since Savanna—now, the song has much more sing-talk, feels more disjointed in terms of when the tempo changes, and it has a greater focus on the cyberpunk citypop vibes than before. It also adds a greater sense of drama with the slight strings and the control in the voices. It took me a few listens but I like this one too, more than Savanna, and I can see how the singles are slowly shifting to become the OnlyOneOf they are today.

Line Sun Goodness is a pretty solid EP, and I enjoyed the whistling hook in Boss, the chill guitar in Desert, and the breathy layers of vocals in Only One Of Me (which was my favorite). However, the songs, despite the few quirks I mentioned before, sound very similar to each other. None of them are bad, but none of them stick out either.

Dora Maar goes even further in the direction that Sage began, with its harsh background clanging, its heavy use of percussion, and reliance on more intentional frying in the vocals. I wasn’t as big a fan of this one as Sage, to be honest, because I felt like it went from the calmer (yet still fried) parts to the harsher ones, and I got a bit of whiplash.

Angel was a song that I’d heard before, but I actually had no idea that it was by OnlyOneOf. It’s catchy from the outset, and has a self-aware humor that I could get behind. It’s also softer than their usual titles, and that little bit of vulnerability is a good balance for the flashier parts of their discography. That repeating rap in the pre-choruses caught me off-guard every time, I have to say, and by the time I’d gotten used to the new tempo, we were back to the usual. I have no idea why it's there, because it really didn’t have to be. I really liked Heartbreak Theatre from the single, because I love some drama and that piano was perfect.

A Song Of Ice & Fire pulses with a great energy, and I was nodding my head through the first verse. I was worried they’d go with the dreaded anti-drop chorus and they kind of did in the second half, but thankfully the rest of the chorus is quite strong. I liked this one, but I actually have the opposite comment I have on the rest of their songs, which is that I wish it carried through that great build up through the chorus, because they were almost there…but no. I didn’t have a hidden gem for this single.

Libido is the song that I think most people know from OnlyOneOf, and it’s obvious why: unlike many of their singles, it’s pretty unique. I was surprised that what they’re so known for started here and not before though. Between the choreo, the lyrics, and the music video, it definitely breaks the boundaries of what’s normal in k-pop. It’s a song I appreciate more than enjoy, I’ll be honest, but I do like the pre-choruses. I know the whole point is that the chorus comes out of nowhere, but it’s not for me. I admit though, the “girl I just wanna know” makes me cackle every time, because what girl? Where? There is not a girl within a 10 kilometer radius, folks. If we’re aiming for plausible deniability, that train left the station halfway through the first verse with whatever the hell Nine’s character was doing watching Love take a bath.

From Instinct (Part 1), my favorite was Instinct, because it has good drive and its vocals match perfectly with that distorted guitar instrumental in the background. It’s definitely not a combination I’ve heard before, but it works quite well. The other songs are similar to other b-sides from earlier, in my opinion.

Coy is calmer and more subdued than their usual singles as well, while still keeping the smooth sexuality that defines much of their work. I think it needs more of a show stopping moment, personally, but this isn’t a song for me. I don’t have a hidden gem from this single, but I did like Night Flight.

Skinz gave me a jumpscare right away, I admit it, with that scratching noise grating on my ears. It continues the queer themes from Libido. Unlike a lot of their other work, it doesn’t have enough of a balance between the harsh distortion and the gentler moments, because there really aren’t enough gentler moments for that to happen. It’s just not a pleasant experience on my ears, and not one I want to repeat either. OnlyOneOf has a lot of charisma but none of it carries through enough for this one, and quite frankly, I don’t like it. From the single, I think that Suit Dance would’ve made a better single with its well-flowing vocals and jazzier beat and I also liked Ultimate Bliss.

It’s nothing new for idols to release solo music while still part of a band, but Only One Of’s “Underground Idol” series is absolutely unique. The members were divided back into their branded pairs for this, and each pair told the story of a couple from two different perspectives. Yoojung and KB were the first in Begin and Be Free, Junji and Rie were the second in Be Mine and Because, and Mill and Nine were the last in Beat and Beyond. This series is both where I found them and where, at least to me, a discography that could have been seen as queerbaiting-for-profit becomes something that genuinely means so much to so many queer people, myself included.

Begin, fittingly, begins the solo series, and expertly captures the feeling of boredom expressed in the music video until, of course, we get the meet-cute and literal crash into each other that begins the relationship too. The song is a gentle, breathy city pop sound, and feels both hopeful and resigned (“when you’re free from prejudice, freedom will begin”), reaching a catharsis in its understated bridge (“It’s time, and I know it.”) as Yoojung’s character takes care of KB’s when he’s drunk. Never has a k-pop song title so fit a song, because it’s about so many different beginnings: the relationship, the freedom, and even the journey of coming out itself. I like this one.

Be Free is Begin’s other side, and starts where it left off. As befits the title and its character’s personality, it’s far more open from the beginning and knows what it wants right out of the gate (“Hey guess what?”), while also embracing a funkier, brighter sound that feels more joyful. The relationship continues, and the characters bond deeply in the space of a night (a very queer thing in and of itself), before they end up waking up together, shirtless. Genuinely, the first time I watched this, I was shocked that they were so open about it, despite the fact that nothing is shown, and it was this that began to change my mind on the subject of queerbaiting. The story shown here is given an open ending—we have no idea what happens after that one day—but the final line (“You never know, baby. One more time could make it right.”) seems to hint that it won’t end here. I like this one more than Begin, but it’s not my favorite.

Be Mine starts the second of the three stories, and, again fittingly to the title, feels softer and more romantic with its gentle piano as Junji’s character runs after Rie’s. This duo shows an established relationship between its characters as they have a summer romance that involves dancing, listening to music, cooking, and just spending time together. Its slow and settled melody isn’t for me, personally, and neither is its seemingly out-of-nowhere rap verse, but on the whole, the song is very sweet.

Because was actually the first song I’d heard by OnlyOneOf, since it was recommended to me about a week after it came out, and, as previously stated, changed my mind that I was only a girl group stan. I was surprised by it right out of the gate, and was soon won over by the quite convincing intimacy between its two characters, its quiet folding of paper cranes, and overall bluntness of its subject matter. The song is nostalgic and feels lived in, waffling between comforting and melancholy as the characters have a fight and go their separate ways while all their best memories replay, then reconnect many months later (though it’s left open whether they get back together). It’s genuinely quite touching; I wince when Junji’s character smacks the paper cranes off of the table and I hurt for Rie’s when he’s heartbroken. It was my favorite of their songs when I first watched it and it’s stayed that way since.

Beat marks the start of the third and last series, and sticks out from the rest of the songs in the solos with its harsh beat and most of the song is either sing-talk or outright rapping. Mill is the group’s rapper, so I do get it, but this one is just too grating for me. The video shows two students falling in love with each other while facing hinted-to-be-homophobically-motivated bullying and dealing with both the fear and the excitement of that love. The song does fit the video, I’ll give it that, perfectly connecting with the insecurity and genuine danger the characters face (“wanna tell them to beat it, beat up, beat out”), and the video ends with Nine’s character falling into Mill’s arms after getting beaten up.

Beyond is the last of the Underground Idol series, and rather than match the harshness of Beat, it goes the exact opposite way, and is quite an understated slow burn mixed with citypop that makes the most of Nine’s smooth and soothing vocals, meaning that I enjoyed this one much more. Its lyrics are quite lovely with how they mix floral imagery (“perhaps it’s withered; my heart is dried up, but you take root”), and openness (“Baby, I wanna make you mine”), and captures the head-over-heels feeling of first love quite well. These two videos don’t push boundaries in the same way as the first two sets do, only because they tell what is a quite well-trodden story rather than breaking new ground, but seeing the characters take care of each other is very sweet. The quiet, mutual moment of realization at the end where they’re lying next to each other and move to kiss feels very comfortable and honest.

The description box written for Beyond on their official YouTube channel states: “How did our music reach you, who are far away? How did our small melody crafted in Korea reach you, who are on the other side of the world? To all those lovers who do not feel like they’ve been given the blessing, we hope our music will comfort you and cheer you up. We hope you’ll dream the same dream as us.” Is it a little cheesy? Perhaps. But does it make me emotional? Absolutely. Does it still matter? Hell yes.

The thing that really felt meaningful to me was the mundanity with which the characters live their lives; they may face internalized or external homophobia, but what the solo series gets across so well is how normal and everyday these people are, no matter who they love. The best way I can explain it, as a queer person myself, is that it feels like another queer person wrote and planned these six songs. They feel very honest and self-reflective, and don’t try to tiptoe around their subject matter, which I really appreciate. Look, I’m not going to speculate on whether any of the members of OnlyOneOf are queer themselves, because I frankly can’t stress enough that unless one of them bursts through my window at 2 am with a megaphone and tells me to share it with the world, it was and remains none of my fucking business.

Seoul Drift is their latest comeback, and similarly to many of their other full-group singles, it’s not that fun to listen to. It follows Skinz; there isn’t really a break in the song, which normally I’d be a fan of, but here it just makes it feel overwhelming and unnecessarily harsh. I like the idea of it—the lyrics are pretty good and the whole idea of loneliness and the intensely fast pace of life in Seoul in the MV intrigues me—but the execution just doesn’t win me over.

From the album, Seoul Collection, Blue Blue Seoul stuck out to me. It’s breathy and soft, and it moves along with an inviting, almost warm feeling. It feels a lot like a song from their Underground Idol series, which is probably why I like it. I love the way the voices are layered and how the minimalistic background gives them a chance to grow.

OnlyOneOf have gained attention yet again this year, not only for their earlier comeback but for their participation in Bump Up Business, a short drama adaptation of a BL webtoon that stars Mill and Nine as two k-pop idols forced to do a “business gay partnership” (basically, act like they’re in a gay relationship with each other), who actually end up falling in love. You can see why this is causing a stir, when their whole concept already has people declaring it queerbaiting.

Personally, I honestly don’t know where I stand, because I do think that they do genuinely important, boundary-breaking work, but they also play into the queerbaiting and the lines between characters they play and the idols themselves are intentionally made smaller. I applaud them for acting in this and having the guts to actually kiss on screen, and despite how toothless the show is, I did watch it and go “aww” at several points.

I’m glad I did this! Even if I didn’t end up becoming a Lyon or a fan, I did still have fun with this, especially watching the series and the solos, and a couple interviews (which gave me some good laughs, so thanks guys). I also learned that Nine and KB are very involved with the writing and composing of OnlyOneOf’s music, which is something I really appreciate that happens to be quite rare in k-pop.

My top 5 songs from Only One Of are Because, Time Leap, Heartbreak Theatre, Be Free, and Beyond, with Only One Of Me as an honorable mention. Only One Of gets a 7.75 / 10 from me. To be honest, I’ve found that besides their Underground Idol series and a few odd b-sides, their music is mostly not for me. I do really appreciate the self-production, the important messages, and the experimental quality of a lot of their work, but at the end of the day, this is my blog and it comes down to personal preference.

Next time, we’ll be doing part two of the Red Velvet deep-dive and next week we’re restarting the one-group-a-week schedule with a boy group. Tschüss!

[qazastra]

me talking about the onlyoneof show below

finally back and sitting down bc I got food after the show but that was sooo much fun omfg???????? what do you MEAN rie held my hand and called me beautiful teehee (it’s true he really likes fanboys one i spoke to said he called him eye candy and kept winking at him LIKEEE) and junji gave me a fist bump?? some of my friends were watching me up there and said me and him really seemed to be vibing 🤭

someone else I was in line with was asking them all about their fav Sanrio characters, I think I heard mill say pochacco! rie actually doodled his in their album im p sure it was pompompurin

i met someone outside the venue who’d gotten a nine snapshot and nine recognized his perfume by name!!

my junji bias friend got him to complete a hand heart w her during the show that was lovely

Both of us did one during the group photo hes truly so sweet— I’m glad I was next to him if I couldn’t be next to rie

that’s gonna be a photo of all time for us when they post it for suuuure

i CANNOT BELIEVE they did FRAGILE????????????? SO GOOD. mics were ON!!!!!!!!!!!! i did fall victim to the classic blunder of singing too soon bc it was the remix though lol

My friend took a few small rie fancams for me I’m so hype to see them later

there was a Japanese fan next to me who was filming the whole thing and at the encore they did angel and blossom (CRAZY fun) and at one point during one of those nine motioned to her to smile lolll she did laugh a little at that

[twig-tea]

Bump Up Business Review

I just binged the entire show, and...really don't know what to think lol This is a drama in which idols from a group that first gained notoriety by overtly appealing to shipping culture in their choreography and MVs and then moved to making explicitly queer music videos that were dedicated to giving visibility and garnering acceptance for love between two men [the song dedications are in the official video descriptions], are starring as idols being asked to follow a "business gay" concept but who actually fall in love. This is...complicated.

Overall, this was better than I was braced for. It was a lot of fun watching OOO act, and the OST is great. Lots of flaws but I didn't feel like I wasted my time.

Spoilers below the cut.

Things I liked about the drama:

Both of them already knew they were gay from ep1 (it's unclear whether Eden is homophobic based on his childhood experience, but my takeaway was that he was trying to hide his homosexuality rather than being in denial. He is clearly super interested in Jihoon from jump and has to keep talking himself down. And we get him explicitly calling J his first love, which to me makes it clear his 'what do you mean, how could a guy be a first love' to Jihoon was his attempt to wave that off without outright saying Jihoon was wrong.

This means that unlike what I was bracing for, this was two various-states-of-closeted gay men in a homophobic but also ship-driven industry being asked to pretend to have affection for one another for views while they develop real affection for one another. Much more interesting than thought-I-was-straight drama!

The chemistry between Nine and Mill is of course excellent; for those who don't know OnlyOneOf they were already a ship before this series and are the stars of the last two music videos in their Be series.

Real kiss on camera (though see the list below)

I liked the OST main song , which is lucky because it repeats a couple of times

The we-met-in-childhood couple was not endgame for once!

Things I did not like:

This drama is really short, and the story is too complicated for the length (there are TWO love rivals?!; just generally it tried to give emotional weight to too many things and as a result nothing had emotional weight)

What happened between Hyunbin and Jihoon is not clear; it seems like Hyunbin conspired with Go Ra-eun to drug and take compromising photos of Jihoon so as to create rumours...I'm really not clear whether this was to hide their romance or to make him stop his idol activities, though I'm guessing the latter.

This drama didn't seem like it could decide whether it was in the BL world or the real world (in which homophobia exists). The CEO seemed fine with the idea of Jay and Eden dating; but Hyunbin challenged Eden that if he pursued Jihoon he'd have to tell his family and friends about him.

The acting was very uneven (Nine and Mill's acting was surprisingly good for most of it; I liked Mill's version of sunshine and Nine's version of grumpy)

The CEO is somewhat villainized as only caring about her agenda and not caring about the wellbeing of her idols, but this is also shown to be good business, so I'm not really sure it is successful in making a point about the industry, if it was trying to.

Similarly there was not enough in the way of exploring the impact and consequences of feeding into shipping culture for my taste; I feel like this show wants credit for criticizing this type of approach without actually criticizing it (other than the one moment where Eden says it's wrong and is ignored).

It drives me mad that the kiss we got was explicitly stated to be "business only" even though it clearly wasn't; it was also (less clearly) a drunk kiss; why do a kiss fake-out at the end? I assume it was to not encourage fans in thinking Nine & Mill are real, but if that's the concern then don't do this plot in the first place?

There was no good explanation for why Jihoon was avoiding Eden and why he was so successful; how had Eden gone from "I'll talk to him directly" to not going into Jihoon's dressing room to talk?

The water trauma was really glazed over

It ends in a really precarious spot, it's not clear at all what their future will be, whether they'll be allowed to stay in the group and date, whether they'll continue, etc.

Just generally this show started a lot of threads and did not do a good job maintaining them or keeping things moving evenly.

I don't have a rating system, so I'll just say: It's a good binge if you're bored. I feel like I still need to sit with the storyline about the idols but as it stands: it's complicated.

[booskwan]

ok so…

i’ll just start from the top with high touch and the grp photo

when i tell you i was shitting myself with anxiety…….. we made line friends with a few people and we bonded over how anxious we were

it went by So fast but then again the whole thing felt crazy fast maybe bc we were waiting outside and inside for so long

but we were at the very front of the vip line which means we were first after vvip…. crazy. and i was like maybe the third person in the single file line but we walked in the theater and they were just lined up there and all i could think was “fuck fuck fuck fuck they don’t look real fuck fuck fuck” AND THEY DIDNT. THEY DONT. like it’s crazy they don’t look real they’re so gorgeous SUNGHO ESPECIALLY MY GOOOOOOD

but we went down the line giving each member a high five it was junji > taeyeob > wookjin ? > kyubin > sungho > yongsoo and for junji and taeyeob it was like a gentle high five but wook and kyubin Went for it like they fully high five you AND THEYRE SO TALL im short im barely 5’4 BUT THEYRE SO TALL

after we went down the line we circled back around to behind the chairs they were standing in front of for the grp photo and I WAS FUCKING RIGHT BEHIND YOOJUNG. and i was waving at all of them as they sat down and kyubin looks me dead in the face with his fake nose piercing and says “hey” with a smile as he sits down

GIRL.

LIKESHJDOFHHDBS WHAT STOP THAT

But i was too nervous to like tap yoojungs shoulder to do a heart or anything lmao so i just did a peace sign and stared at the back of his head like what is happening.

after we got out of snapshot me fern and one of the friends we made had a grp hug all on the verge of tears it was very sweet

then it was a bit more waiting and we filed back into the concert hall whatever you wanna call it and their performances were fucking amazingggggggggg

kyubin ripped open his shirt during asoiaf junji kissed rie on the cheek or the other way around it’s all a blur all i heard was the sound and saw junjis embarrassed face yoojung pretended to be santa claus but one of his mustache bits flew off they did a la la land bit that included sungho slapping kyubins ass as the percussion it was a fucking wild time

taeyeob was blowing kisses the whole time it was so sweet i love him🥹

OH MY GOD HOW DID I ALMOST FORGET during the la la land bit kyubin was asking the crowd if we’ve seen la la land and i put both thumbs up AND HE GAVE ME A THUMBS UP FUCKING BACK WHAT THE FUCK this man has me in a chokehold

but um yeah for encore they did asoiaf angel and onlyoneof you when i tell you i was so relieved they were doing onlyoneof you considering i spent like two hours labeling all the hearts yesterday with my mom

but during angel they had the whole crowd jump with them it was so cute 🥹🥹 i remember jumping and coming up in the air to see kyubin shaking his ass he’s wild i love him

my view wasn’t great but it wasn’t terrible i’m happy with it overall 🫶🫶

but yes i held up my heart during onlyoneof you and a few people around me did and i saw a bunch more throughout the crowd which really warmed my heart and i saw wookjin point at one and smile 🥹 which is gonna make me cry but my whole goal was to make them feel loved and i feel accomplished in that even if not every member saw them i’m glad at least one did

and for the photo after asoiaf before angel and ooo you i passed forward the flag as fast as i possibly could lmao and yongsoo was over by our side and he grabbed it 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 he put it around himself and wore it for one pic but then the staff grabbed all the flags and took two more pics without them 💔 but we did lion pose first then i love you pose with hand hearts and that’s the one that they posted on their story

after the concert they told people with snapshot to stay in the concert hall and premium was gonna go first and i was able to stay with a couple line friends but they had kyubin and i had yoojung so we had to split up for the night </3 but they were so so nice and one of them let us use her perfume so we didn’t smell for snapshots 😭😭

i anxiously got in line after taeyeob finished up premiums and there was one person in front of me screams and they had to change the film cartridge thing so they got a little extra time and i was just staring at the floor trying not to be awkward but then it was my turn and she (kelly unfortunately) asked what pose i wanted, i looked at the thing to be sure and told her the number, she told him the number he said hello! and i said hi! and we took the picture and our shoulders touched and i felt very ahdjroehhegkigbd about it yknow and he MADE EYE CONTACT which i’m afraid of but he’s so gorgeous oh my god… and so fucking tall i felt so short even in my tall shoes😭 but he made eye contact and said thank you for coming WHICH I WAS ABOUT TO SAY so i just said thank You for coming! and as i was walking (like two feet away) to get the polaroid from her he said have a good night! but it took me way too long to process he said that so i had to yell back you too!! and then i ran to fern and died a little while i waited for it develop but it’s so cute and i love him and i don’t believe it’s real it’s photoshop there’s no way tonight happened

[koalammas]

aa thank you @varsbaby for tagging me!! i love me a silly tag game

favourite colour: I'm the bitch who can't pick just one, but I really like all pastels, as one does. However, when you think about colour combos, pink+yellow is a really delicious one. Anything with teal/turquoise. A pastel combined with either chocolate brown or the kind of warm toffee brown (beige....???puppy colour..) those are all banging. Peach, mint etc.

last song: Yoojung - begin . I really like this song in particular, it's my favourite from the be-series onlyoneof did. (to my non-kpop moots, it's essentially a series of lgbt solo songs that the group's members released, some of them are paired together via the story) also non-kpop song, The Horror and The Wild by The Amazing Devil. I'm normal and have dnd playlists etc.

currently reading: ... don't judge me but Last Flight the Dragon Age novel.

currently watching: season 2 of The Bear. What an incredibly stressful show. Just finished marathoning iwtv with friends.

currently craving: super sour candies and also mango. I went and bought a ripe mango, it's currently just waiting for me in the kitchen.

coffee or tea: both! Technically coffee because I do drink that on the daily, perhaps a little too much. I could however, go get some tea right now. Licorice tea is really good.

tagging everyone who wants to do this!! but also @rochastocade @kareoflyon @kommunisti @marmothemoonangel @helsinginherra @sonsband @kunfetti @sapphicshawol @zeesqueere ungh im sure im forgetting a thousand people

[emeraldbabygirl]

OK I HAVE TO DO THIS I HAVE TO LOL

BUT NOT IN ANY SPECIFIC ORDER PLEASE DON’T EVER ASK ME TO RANK THEM I LOVE THEM OMG BUT MY FAV FAV MEN ARE

Taewoong - bz boys

Seunghoon - noir

Kb - onlyoneof

St.van - vav

Yanghyuk - omega x

Wonhyuk - e’last

Hikaru - snow man

Mark - nct (heheh I added markieeee)

Davin - xodiac

Rn I have brain rot so there may be a few more and of course I do have more than one bias in some groups and stuff I like a lot of men lol but these are just my fav fav fav jpop and kpop men and I would marry them all if I could <3 AND AGAIN I AM NOT RANKING THEM PLEASE DON’T THINK I AM I COULD NEVER

I wish davin and wonnie and vav and seunghoon! had bubbles that way I could get cute messages from them too! Wonnie never notices me on Weverse and I’m jealous of the people he does talk to :( I’m a very jealous person it’s not a good thing ;-;

Seunghoon likes most of my comments on insta tho and that always makes me giggle. I have gotten idols to like my comments on insta but it’s always always their own insta so they either leave the group or the group has been disbanded so they have their own. ONCE KYLA FROM PRISTIN’S MUM LIKED MY COMMENT I HAVE RIZZ but like it’s fun and goofy even tho they are just people like us that fact they they find me humorous or like what I said makes me happy and it’s cool when you can have an actual convo with them like Alex from rania actually told me about recipes and places you can go that serve vegan food and she was so kind and sweet even tho I love meat but I really appreciated that cause I know some celebs or former idols are trash and rude so it’s nice when you can kinda interact with them as human to human I wish we could all do that instead of being in famous and non famous boxes and shit bUT ANYWAY SORRY FOR RANTING I JUST HEHEHEH ANYWAYYYY THAT WAS IT I MIGHT MAKE I NEW BIAS LIST SOMETIME OR IDK I LIKE TO DICK AROUND AND MAKE FUN LISTS AND VENN DIAGRAMS LMAO OK BYE ~

[shadowetienne]

Post the song that got you into your favorite group/artist + the first song you think a new listener should hear from them

Tagged by the wonderful @skinzchoerim

Song that got me into OnlyOneOf:

This is a little complicated because I was sort of into them from debut (thought they were promising rookies, and I liked both savannah and time leap). However, I got seriously into them and they became my favorites with "libidO"

First song I think a new listener should hear?

Probably libidO, it's a simple answer, but I think it is a wonderful them song, and it is really the turning point of their work and what defines the course they've been on since. The undergrOund idOl solos are a solid entry point too, as is sage. I feel like it depends on context of why I'm trying to get someone into them and who that person is.

Low pressure tag: @redeim, @cyanidecravings, @yongsooist, @rieloving-mess, @guzhufuren, @qazastra, @freddymp3, and anyone else who thinks this looks fun!