#i saw the movie a year ago & the fascination came back!

[missholson]

Ralph Bates, 1970

© Mary Evans / StudioCanal Films Ltd [X]

[greynatomy]

fringe

leah williamson x reader

thought of this while driving and finished in like two minutes

———

Last week, Leah came home with a different look than when she left in the morning. No heads up, she walks through the front door, a fringe on her head.

Your daughter was fascinated from the moment she saw her mom. When Leah sat on the couch, Bella sat on her lap, hands playing with the fringe. It was a daily thing for your daughter to want to play with her hair.

Today, you have so many errands to run, so Leah was with your daughter by herself. The four-year-old almost threw a tantrum, but with the promise of ice cream, she hesitantly gave you a kiss goodbye.

“Alright. What do you feel like doing?”

Bella strokes her chin in thought. “Watch Tangled.”

“Tangled it is.”

Halfway through the movie, Leah had to go to her office for a meeting with some people leaving Bella all alone. Leah told her to not go anywhere, but the cheeky little thing she is, didn’t listen.

An hour later, Leah finishes what she needed to do for the day and decides to start preparing for lunch. By prepare, she means heating up what you had already made for them.

“Bella, darling? It’s time for lunch.”

She was met with silence, which is worrying because silence is something you don’t want to be greeted with when at home with a toddler.

“Bella! Where’d you go?”

“Bathroom, Mama!”

Walking into the bathroom, Leah was greeted by a haunting sight. Bella stood up on her step stool, a pair of scissors in her hand she found god knows where and a head with less hair than what she had just an hour ago.

“Darling! What’d you do?”

“Want to be like you.”

“Like me?”

“Yeah! Mama your hair. Be like you!”

She had a proud look on her face and Leah didn’t have the heart to tell her off. As adorable as it was, Leah was just scared of how you’d react once you’d gotten home.

“Okay. Why don’t we put those scissors down and wait for Mama in the living room.”

Leah quickly cleans up all the hair, making sure there’s no trace of what happened. She doesn’t mention it while they eat lunch. Bella frequently brushes the hair out of her face. Leah couldn’t stop looking at her daughter’s hair, seeing all the uneven hair, making her cringe internally.

It wasn’t until a few hours later that you get back home. You find your wife and daughter on the couch, matching Arsenal hoodies on with the hood over their heads.

“Hello, family.”

“Mummy! You’re home!”

“I am, baby. What did you do today?”

“Uh, I watch Tangled with Mama, I eat pasgetti, and I be like Mama!”

You nod along, but look at your wife confusedly at the last part.

“What do you mean by be like Mama?”

Before Leah could stop her, Bella takes the hood off her head. You let out a loud gasp, covering your mouth with your hand, eyes wide.

“Baby.”

“Did all by myself.” She pats her chest.

“So pretty.” You run your fingers through her hair, biting your lip to hold back a laugh. “Go back to your movie. Mummy needs to have a word with Mama in the kitchen.”

You walk into the kitchen with Leah trailing behind.

“How’d that happen?”

“I don’t know! I was in my office for an hour and I go to the bathroom and her hair’s gone!”

You let out some giggles, unable to hold it in anymore, especially with the distressed look on your wife’s face.

“You’re gonna grow some grey hairs and get wrinkles.”

You run your hands through her hair, placing kisses on her forehead, smoothening the crinkles on her forehead.

“It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.”

“I just can’t believe she did that.”

“Daughter like mother. You come home with a fringe without telling me. Bella does the same without telling you.”

She starts laughing, looking at where your daughter sat on the couch, arms wrapped around your waist.

“She really is my mini me.”

[baptismbaby]

✩ LIKE A DOG WITH A BIRD AT YOUR DOOR

toxic!ellie x reader (modern) a/n: will post to ao3: baptismsbaby warnings: ANGST. cannot stress it enough. cheater!ellie i'm so sorry for that, reader is super jealous and it's hinted she can be possessive, ellie isn't super toxic but i mean.. she cheats that's toxic enough lmao, brief mention of s*mno and drugs. brief mention of vomiting as well. no smut just depressing sorry songs to listen to: moon song by phoebe bridgers, i know it's over by the smiths, i bet on losing dogs by mitski, become the warm jets by current joys creds to elliesgalaxy on pinterest for the ellie pic wc: 3.5k<3

Ellie had made a new friend.

You and Ellie were at a college party a couple months ago. It was a part of y’all’s routine. Classes Monday-Thursday, party Friday and Saturday, and use Sunday to recover from the hangover. You would go and dance, drink, smoke, and on the occasion do a couple lines of coke. Ellie didn’t dance but loved watching you from the bar. A girl your age sat next to Ellie and striked a conversation with her. When you noticed, you immediately power walked on over. Ellie was beautiful, a lot of girls wanted her. Ellie would turn them away. She didn’t care about anyone else but you. Why is she talking to this stranger?

Come to find out, her name was Lila. Ellie and Lila went to the same high school years ago and wanted to catch up with Ellie. Lila had a long term boyfriend and majored in psychology. Once you knew she was straight, you left them alone after shaking Lila’s hand. You were no longer worried and just wanted to get as crossed as you could.

The next morning, Ellie woke you up with a finger inside of you. The entire time you couldn’t focus due to the constant beeping of her phone. You asked her to stop and reached for Ellie’s phone, tapping the screen to see Lila had texted Ellie eight times. You thought it was strange but according to Ellie, instead of saying everything she wanted in a single text, she’d send multiple. She had been texting Lila since she got you back to your dorm. You found it strange that Ellie had already caught on to her texting patterns but told yourself Lila was straight, nothing is wrong, Ellie made a friend and they’re getting to know each other. You were afraid of losing Ellie. So many girls would tell you how lucky you were. You knew it but saw red when being told that. To you, it meant they would throw themselves at Ellie if you weren’t in the picture.

Ellie began hanging with Lila in her dorm, which was a floor above yours. She’d text you every five minutes to keep you updated and even gave you Lila’s number so the two of you could become friends. She came off as clingy but was super sweet. Ellie made plans to go out to the bar with you and invited Lila so you could hit it off. You did, you actually adored her so much. She was super cool and funny. She’d talk shit to guys who tried to hit on her and would come to you or Ellie’s defense if anyone tried flirting with either of you. You liked that about her. She was loyal, a girl’s girl, overall a fun person to be around. The three of you would hang out often, sometimes just Ellie and Lila, sometimes you and Lila. Lila would boast about her boyfriend and ask a lot of questions about your relationship with Ellie. The sex, fights, anniversaries, little things Ellie would do, etc. It all fascinated Lila. She’d talk about how her boyfriend Josh was silent and off putting but gentle towards her. You enjoyed bonding with her.

You felt it had been awhile since you went on a date with Ellie. You decided to surprise her by showing up to her dorm, tossing rose petals all over the floor and lighting candles for an intimate setting. You knew Ellie would love it. But she never came. You had called beforehand and told her that you would stay the night in her dorm so she knew not to go to yours. You texted her and asked where she was. She said she was having a movie night with Lila. You thought it was weird you weren’t invited. You and Ellie would only hang out with her alone if the other had a class or was busy. If the three of you were free, y’all were together. You felt hurt and cleaned up the mess. You argued with her about it the next day and found out it was Lila’s idea. You texted her and expressed how uncomfortable it made you. She was apologetic and made you promise not to tell Ellie that she was telling you a secret. Ellie was planning a big surprise for you since an anniversary was coming up. You felt guilty and apologized to Ellie. You asked to have dinner Saturday, which was supposedly when the surprise was going to take place.

You waited for Ellie at her favorite diner. The minutes kept passing by and by, Ellie never showing up. You were blowing up her phone but she wasn’t responding. You never told Ellie, who preferred having her read receipts off, that you turned hers on secretly for you. She read every one and still no response. About an hour later, you were bawling your eyes out and decided it was time to leave. In walked Ellie, who was surprised to see you so emotional. 

“Baby, what is it?”

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

You made sure to bump her shoulder as you stormed past her. Once you made it outside of the diner, Ellie had caught up with you and grabbed your arm. “Let go!” you yelled.

People around started to stare. Ellie gave you a dirty look and pulled you closer. “Stop causing a fucking scene, these people think I’m hurting you,” she growled under her breath. “Calm down.”

She shoved your wrist away and stepped back, running a hand through her short hair. You tried to calm yourself down but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. “I thought it was at seven. I’m so sorry baby,” she apologized.

“I reminded you a million times that it was at six.”

Ellie took her phone out and sighed at the text messages, acting as if she was guilty for not “seeing them.” You were starting to get pissed off but knew you couldn’t reveal that you knew she was lying.

“Sweetheart… I’m so sorry. I was over at Lila’s to-”

“Lila’s again?!” you nearly shrieked. Ellie made a face at you.

“She’s our friend. I was hanging out with our friend. She was helping me get ready because I wanted to look nice for you.”

The more you thought about it, the more you realized that Ellie would text less and less the more she hung out with Lila. She wouldn’t really text you much either. 

“I’m starting to think she’s interfering with our relationship, Ellie. It feels like we barely talk. We don’t do anything together anymore. All you wanna do is hang out with her. ”

“She’s not interfering!” defended Ellie. You ignored her and walked away as she called out your name. 

When you were finally in the comfort of your bed, you decided to text Lila to see if you could talk to her privately. Your text didn’t deliver. You hoped either she had no service at the moment or her phone was turned off. You set it down next to you and shut your eyes, the emotions of the day coming to hit you all at once. You cried yourself to sleep.

You saw a flower and note on your dresser the next day from Ellie. She told you how sorry she was and that she didn’t want to fight anymore. Then there was an anniversary card next to it where she wrote an extremely long paragraph for you. She must have come by early in the morning to leave it for you before her class. You sent a text and let her know to swing by your dorm once she was finished. You didn’t have classes until the evening, so you sat around waiting.

Her class ended at 11 a.m. and it would take her five-ten minutes to make it to your room. 11:05 came and went. 11:10, you started to think she might have stopped to talk to the professor or went to the restroom before leaving. You checked your phone and saw she read the text at eleven on the dot. You slammed the phone down on the bedside table and laid down. You fought tears as you started asking yourself where things went wrong. You wished you had told Lila to back off anyway that night at the bar. Things would be different. Ellie would be holding you, kissing you and whispering sweet nothings in your ear right now if it wasn’t for Lila.

-

You didn’t know you had fallen back to sleep until you woke up and realized you had missed your evening class. When you had checked the time, you also noticed Ellie sent a short text: “Not feeling so great today babe. I’m good though, no need to check in on me. Hope u liked your card. Love you:)”

You sighed. You’ve had enough. Ellie was lying and avoiding you for sure at this point. She was such a baby when she didn’t feel well, calling you and begging you to come by and take care of her. You shoved your phone in your back pocket and slid your shoes on, leaving your dorm room to go down the hall to Ellie’s. You tried opening the door but it was locked as if she wasn’t there. You pulled your phone out to call Lila. You swore to yourself that if they were hanging out that you would sit them both down and force them to hear how you feel. Set boundaries and make sure it’s clear that no one is allowed to hang one on one with each other anymore.

After dialing, you brought your cell to your ear and froze when the automated voice said the number wasn’t available. It didn’t ring at all, which explained why your text never delivered. She blocked you. And all you knew was that her dorm was a floor up but couldn’t remember which one. You felt stupid for not memorizing it. You didn’t want to bang on every door until you found her so you called Dina who was on the same floor as Lila.

“Hey,” she answered.

“Dina, hey, which dorm is Lila’s?”

“Oh, I’m good thanks for asking,” Dina said sarcastically “It’s like four doors down from mine. Why?”

“Ellie’s there right?”

“I mean.. I saw her this morning but kinda assumed she was back at her dorm or yours. Is she not?”

“Shit!” you hissed. “Fuck. Something is going on, I can feel it. Thanks, Dina. I’ll give you a couple of free joints for your help. Love you.”

You hung up and rushed for the stairs. You practically ran up them, skipping steps and getting nasty looks from other students who you nearly ran into. You opened the door and speed walked through the hallway to Dina’s door. It was cracked open and her head was poked out. She sent you a thumbs up as a way of saying good luck. You counted the doors and glanced back at her. She shook her head no to the door you were pointing at then nodded when you finally landed on the correct door. You felt your stomach turn. Your mouth salivated as if you were gonna throw up. 

“You got this girl, I’m gonna keep watch in case I have to jump in,” Dina whispered loudly. You gave her an awkward smile, appreciative of her support but the sick feeling was getting worse.

You slammed the door open and nearly collapsed. They were fully clothed but Ellie was on top of Lila and kissing her. Ellie turned around, her mouth falling open and her brows furrowing upwards. Lila was giggling until she made eye contact with you. Her eyes went wide with fear. You staggered backwards, your hand gripping your stomach tightly.

“E-Ellie,” you whimpered. 

Ellie jumped off of Lila and held her hands out towards you. She said something but you couldn’t hear due to the ringing in your ears. You started to sprint back to the exit, catching a glimpse of Dina leaving her room to go to Lila’s. You skipped down the stairs, busted through another door and barely made it to your dorm in time to vomit in the trash can you had sitting beside your desk. You picked it up and took it to the bathroom so you could clean it later. You stepped out, your hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath. You could feel a panic attack coming on as the image of Ellie kissing Lila replayed in your brain on repeat. You could hear a voice in the distance calling your name. A hand touched your shoulder and you slapped it away, looking up to see Ellie. 

There were tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she repeated your name over and over, as if she was begging you to speak.

“I-I can’t believe you,” you said quietly. “This isn’t… real.”

“Please, it’s not what it looks like honey.”

You kept fighting to catch your breath, trying to figure out how to feel and what to say. You heard a creak and looked up to see Lila slowly stepping in. Rage went through your entire body as if it was an adrenaline rush. There was so much you wanted to do to hurt her. You wanted to scream at her, rip her hair out, strangle her, all of the above.

“Get the fuck out!” you screeched. “I swear to God, Lila, if you don’t get out of my goddamn dorm, I will go to prison for the rest of my life after I’m finished with you!”

Lila turned to Ellie, expecting her to jump to her defense. Ellie didn’t take her eyes off you, her face twisted in pain and guilt.

“Ellie!” Lila whined. 

You stepped forward without even thinking about it. Ellie turned and grabbed Lila. She pushed her out the door, slammed it shut then locked it. You stood there, glaring at Ellie as she rested her head against the cool wood. “Fuck,” she mumbled. Her chest ached. She knew she had ruined the one good thing in her life which was you. The only girl she ever loved, who dealt with her bullshit and held her while she cried and laughed with her afterwards. Ellie risked it for no reason. She wasn’t entirely sure how everything got so fucked up.

Ellie backed away from the door, slowly rotating with each step so she was facing you. You were no longer angry. You were watching her but Ellie felt it was as if you were staring through her. You were zoned out completely, your entire body shaking and your breathing fast.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you and… spending so much time with her. It was an accident, I swear,” said Ellie. 

“How could you accidentally… kiss someone?” you asked. You decided to focus on the floor instead, Ellie’s face was too much to look at right now.

Ellie stayed silent, pacing back and forth in the room muttering to herself.

“When did it start?”

“Um, when she invited me to movie night,” responded Ellie.

Your heart sank. “Oh.”

“But nothing actually… started. I fucked up, baby, but there was nothing between us. She kissed me that night and I felt weird and awful. She was crying, complaining about her boyfriend and randomly kissed me. I didn’t reciprocate it that night. I stopped her, talked to her about it, and told her she’s just upset.”

Ellie stepped closer to you until she was a couple inches away from you. “Before our date, she was helping me pick out something to wear. I didn’t lie about that. But she’d kiss me on the cheek and I let her. When you left because I was late, I confided in Lila and we did… some stuff.”

“Stuff?” your voice cracked.

“Over the clothes,” Ellie sniffled as a tear fell down her cheek. “I felt awful so I got you that card.”

“So awful you had to go back.”

“It wasn’t for that at first, please believe me. I went to tell her we had to stop being friends. Then, I went back to my dorm to be alone. I wanted to figure out how to tell you so I was gonna call you but I left my fucking phone,” she sighed. “Goddamn it. I’m so fucking stupid. She invited me in. I should’ve waited outside.”

You felt a buzzing in your pocket and pulled it out to see a text from Lila. You chuckled dryly. “That’s funny, Lila just texted me. She had me blocked when I tried calling before I came by.”

Ellie’s eyes widened. You could see the panic written all over her face, her shoulders moving up and down quickly as her breath sped up.

“W-What is it?”

“A video?”

Ellie reached out to take your phone but you slapped her hand away and stepped back. “Why do you wanna see it so bad?”

“Just-Just let me see and I’ll delete it for you!”

“No, I want to watch.”

Ellie’s hands went to her stomach, watching as you played the video. You dropped your phone to the ground, realizing Lila sent you a video of Ellie kissing Lila’s body all the way down until… well, you didn’t watch that far.

“Please,” Ellie sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re wearing the same outfit right now that you were wearing in that video.”

Ellie grabbed your wrists, bringing it up to her chest as she continued to plead with you. “It was only one time. I swear, I’m so sorry. I love you s’ much. I-I’d die without you. Baby, look at me. Please.”

Ellie pulled your face up to hers, your neck and body stiff as it settled in that Ellie was probably fucking Lila before today. Ellie peppered kisses all over your forehead and temple, muttering between each one how much she loved you and wanted to spend her life with you. 

“I-I love how red your cheeks get when you-when you get embarrassed,” whispered Ellie as she planted a kiss on each one. “I love how you’re always putting chapstick on so that your lips are soft for me.” She kissed you but you didn’t do it back. “I-I love the way your chin wobbles so much when you cry over cat v-videos.”

She looked down at your arms, her tears now landing on them. “I love how you wrap your arms around me when you s-sleep. Your hands, God, I love how soft your hands feel o-on my body.”

Ellie closed the space between the two of you and slowly laid you on the bed, crawling over you and staring deep in your lifeless eyes. “You always looked at me so full of love.”

Ellie leaned forward, little whimpers falling out of her lips. “Where did it go?”

Ellie’s lips were soaked as she kissed you. You finally opened your mouth and kissed her back, her tears seeping between your lips and landing on your tongue. 

“God sent his favorite angel to save me,” she whispered between kisses.

You broke the kiss to cry, Ellie using a finger to brush off each drop. She gently shushed you. “Please don’t cry,” she said. Her voice was raspy. She sounded completely broken.

“You kiss me and I taste someone else, Ellie…”

Ellie’s face dropped in anguish as she bawled harder.

“You have to go,” you weeped. “You c-can’t do this to me.”

“But I love you. I-I’m gonna make it right.”

“I’m not sure if you can, Ellie.”

Her name used to taste so sweet in your mouth. Now, it made your throat burn. 

You gently pushed Ellie off of you. “You lied to me,” you uttered. “It’s unforgivable.”

Ellie turned away so you couldn’t see her break down. She looked around the room to see some of her clothes littered on the floor. She began to gather them together, sobbing softly.

Before she turned the knob, she stopped and glanced behind her shoulder at you. “I’m going to make this right. No matter what you say, even if thirty years from now you hate me. I will keep trying until I die.”

She left, the air in the room thickening as your brain replayed memories of the good times with Ellie. The flowers she’d pick for you on walks, her smile, her laugh, her cooking the nastiest food you ever ate. You squeezed your eyes shut as a desperate attempt to just live in those memories. You’d wake up tomorrow and none of this would’ve ever happened. You’d tell Ellie about your nightmare and she’d assure you that you were the only girl for her. You got up and picked up a shirt she had forgotten. You held it to your face, breathing in deeply and losing yourself in her scent. You slowly started to fall to your knees and onto your side. You curled up with her shirt and slowly drifted to sleep, the sweetest dream of Ellie hugging you taking the ache in your chest away.

[bafvkun]

A few month ago I did an analysis of two VERY important scenes for Dazai’s development and grief of Oda but also for Dazai and Atsushi’s relationship that is far more important than this fandom seems to realize so I’ll share it with y’all today <3

So the scenes are from Dead Apple, the first one is more than a famous scene but I feel like so many people just miss the real meaning behind it.

In this scene Dazai is at Oda’s grave, like he seems to often do, it’s just a matter of facts, and Atsushi come to see him because Kunikida wanted him to come to the next meeting, anyway.

Atsushi points out the fact that Dazai is « visiting a grave » and it seems to make Dazai tick, and he ends up even pointing it out as a question.

In fact the reason why Dazai asks this seemingly obvious question but shows surprise in his reaction to Atsushi's answer is because to him he isn't visiting a grave in an act of grieving but he is visiting an old friend of his.

At this moment of the story he probably still didn't acknowledge Oda's death and didn't ever properly grieve him during the past four years but Atsushi being very honest and answering so bluntly made him finally realize that yes, Odasaku is now a part of his past and he needs to move on.

To me this scene just show’s how Atsushi’s innocence is more than beneficial to Dazai, he helps him see things under angles he would have never thought of, and Atsushi being just so naturally honest he know he would never lie to him, just like talking to a kid.

Without this simple yet absolutely necessary moment Dazai would have probably never moved on ever from what happened with Odasaku, never truly acknowledging his death and continuing on visiting a friend rather than the grave of a friend.

But then, this scene leads to the second that is even more meaningful, but you can only grasp it if you know what I just explained.

A little later in the movie dazai goes to the Lupin, we all know this bar is deeply linked to the dark era and to Odasaku in general, it was the place they saw each other the most.

He went there seemingly only to drink a whiskey and take the pill that will have its importance later in the movie. But he in fact does it in an act of real grief. He could have taken the pill anywhere else but he decided to go there and it holds such a deep importance for him.

Atsushi opened Dazai’s eyes on the fact that he never grieved Odasaku and so that’s exactly what he does there.

It’s also so terribly meaningful because Dazai knows that he could die during the operation, his survival being only based on his trust for Chuuya, but it’s a talk for another time.

What is important is his acknowledgment of a potential death, he came here knowing that it could be his last. For a moment he reminisces one important memory for him and Odasaku, and even for the movie in itself but this again can be analyzed on its own.

After taking the pill he gets up and finally says one last goodbye to Odasaku, without any doubt the most important of his life, meaning that now he is a part of his past and he is moving on from this moment of his life after sharing one last drink with his memory.

You can also notice that dazai sat at the exact same spot he used to sit on during the dark era and Oda’s glass is also in front of his own sit.

He will later on never come back to the Lupin.

That’s it pookies !! Dazai’s grieving of Odasaku has always been so fascinating to me, the four years of denial before acknowledging the fact thanks to a young boy that didn’t even met grief yet, everything about all this is beautiful to me and certainly not talked about enough.

Thank you for reading and have a nice one !

[valorant-drabbles]

Hallo! I'm the one who requested the iso x reader from last time （＾ｖ＾）

I was wondering if you could make a part two showing how they slowly progressed with each other if it's alright since I really loved the first part and I'm brain rotting hard about Iso

PS - I'll go by ♠️spade anon from now on

Not me accidentally creating a multi-part slow burn Iso fic!! Oh boy

Could be seen as platonic or romantic… but if people want a part 3, it’ll definitely be more romantic.

Gender neutral reader!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mild Cursing, Spoiler for Part 1 of this fic

Cold Shoulder

Reader x Iso

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

It had been about three weeks since the incident; since you and Iso had your little quarrel, and inevitably having started to understand one another. It was definitely a challenge for you, since you’d struggled for years when it came to getting along with people outside of work hours. Thankfully, Iso was proving to be extremely patient and courteous towards you and your growth. That wasn’t to say he didn’t get irritated every so often if he noticed you slipping back into your old, cold habits…

But you were making a genuine effort. What more could he ask for?

Despite it only having been a few weeks, you and Iso had started getting along quite quickly. He’d made it clear that you were always welcome to join him if you were feeling lonely- and considering your friend quantity in the Protocol was quite low, you were finding yourself ‘lonely’ often. It was strange- last month, you were completely fine being on your own. And now, if you went a few days without a casual conversation with somebody… you felt an odd emptiness inside your chest. A yearning for connection that you’d thought you’d severed long ago.

There were many days where Iso would return to his room after training to find you sat on his bed, listening to the playlist he’d shared with you. Usually you were reading, or watching movies on your laptop… passing the time until he’d return and possibly join you. Iso knew you had a bit of trouble asking to spend time together, so when you were in his room- it was kind of obvious why you were there. Once he’d shower and change clothes, he’d settle into bed and join you in whatever you were doing.

Overtime, this became routine. On days neither of you had a mission, you’d spend time together in the comfort of Iso’s room… quietly bonding, occasionally starting conversations- though usually it was Iso initiating. After all, even after all this time, he still found you to be absolutely fascinating, and desired to learn more about you.

“What do you think we learn from fighting ourselves?” Iso’s voice cut through the current silence filling the bedroom, causing you to look up from your book, eyebrow raised curiously at the sudden query.

“… what?”

“Ah- sorry. That came from nowhere.” Iso apologized quietly, his gaze sheepishly moving away from where you were watching him. “I was just… thinking about our mirror selves. From Omega Earth. How they look and act almost exactly like us- and our teammates as well.”

“Mhm. What about them, though?” You questioned further, noticing Iso shift in his seat.

“I’ve… had this question on my mind ever since I saw myself on the other team. ‘What do we learn from fighting ourselves?’… I’ve asked a few of the others, but… honestly, none of them had an answer I was looking for.” Iso grimaced softly at the memory of him asking Phoenix this question, only for the Brit to cockily answer ‘How much better I am compared to that fake me!’.

You took a moment to ponder his question. This was something you genuinely appreciated about spending time with Iso- he posed questions that made you think. Nothing too philosophical, usually… but it kept conversations interesting, and additionally helped the two of you learn more about how the other thinks.

“I guess… we learn our weaknesses.” You answer after about a minute of silence. “Though it’s not ideal… there’s certain circumstances where our double will be better than us at something. It’ll reveal a weak point in our abilities… and give us something to work towards improving. Alternatively, we learn the weakness of our double, and how to potentially exploit it if need be.” Your shoulders shrugged slightly, as you bit gently at the end of the pen in your hand. “It can also help us to… uh…”

Your hesitance to speak further piques Iso’s curiosity, and his gaze moves to you. He can’t help but notice your cheeks glowing a faint shade of red. You seldom showed emotion like this… allowing yourself to be embarrassed or even revealing a moment of weakness. Despite his desire to urge you into finishing your thought, he knew pushing you to answer would just make you uncomfortable. And, there was the possibility it could cause you to throw out your walls again, giving him the cold shoulder again- he couldn’t risk that. So, he waited.

As much as you wanted to change the topic or just… leave the thought unfinished, Iso’s eyes on you made it clear that he really wanted to know what you were thinking.

“Y/N?” Iso called out quietly. A sigh escaped you reluctantly, as you turned your body to face away from him slightly- only so that he would have trouble seeing how flushed your face had become.

“It… it also helps us to… see what we couldn’t see before. In our own teammates.” You finally continue, deciding to occupy your twitching hands with twirling your pen between your fingers. “How much our team would do to… to protect us. In the face of danger. The threat of death is always so real when you know the enemy won’t hesitate to kill you… sometimes you forget how dangerous it can be. How quickly you can lose somebody. And… how… if a teammate dies, you might go about the rest of your life… regretting that you never got to know them better. Or you might die with the same regret…” You swallow.

You thought back on the day you nearly died at Pearl almost every day. It all felt so surreal… the rush of emotion you felt when you saw Iso in danger? The searing pain from the bullets that had pierced your body?… the last thing you see being Iso using your Operator to take down the approaching threats…

His words echoing constantly in your mind.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Y/N.”

You’d always been so cold towards him… never giving him any reason to like your company. And yet… Iso risked his own life to save yours. With no hesitation.

“Y/N.” It was only after feeling Iso’s hand on your own that you realized he’d been calling your name. His voice was gentle, worry lacing the elegance he spoke your name with. His gaze on you was equally as concerned. It was only in that moment, seeing your own reflection in his eyes, where you notice you’d started crying.

“Shit.” You pull your hand away from Iso’s, and quickly moved to wipe your face of any tears that may had fallen. This was… new. You never let such fragile emotions show in front of the other agents… you only ever let out your piled up emotions behind closed doors, where nobody could see. Where nobody could know. “Sorry, I don’t… know why I’m crying. Can you just forget I said any of that?” You requested, though your voice wavered as you spoke, making you cringe internally. Were you truly so emotional when you thought back on that day…?

Without another word, you found yourself being pulled into Iso’s lap, his arms wrapped around you comfortingly, yet not intrusively. Physical contact wasn’t something you were used to either, but… in that moment? It felt… incredible. You needed this… so badly. For how long you’d needed it for, you didn’t know. You just knew you never wanted this moment to end- as soft as that sounded.

“I’m… not going to let either of us die with that regret.” Iso promised ever so softly, with his head resting comfortably against your shoulder. “And believe me, I don’t intend on dying anytime soon. So you don’t have to worry to much about missed opportunities to… get to know each other. And stuff.”

You kept your face hidden away from Iso; thankful he wasn’t making an effort to look regardless. You felt incredibly vulnerable in that moment… so you truly appreciated that Iso was making the effort to give you some level of privacy. At least as you attempted to pull yourself together again.

“I… I’m glad that… you didn’t give up on me.” You mumble gently against his chest. “… even though I was kind of an asshole to you.”

“Oh, no. You were a total asshole.” Iso chimed. You could just hear the grin on his face through his voice. It made you want to strangle him… not to death, per se.

“… besides. There’s no way I’d give up on someone as… incredible as you.”

Iso’s hand managed to find yours once again, and slowly, gently, you found your fingers intertwining with his without even thinking about it. The previously jarring silence in the room had been replaced with an air of comfortable quiet, as the two of you sat in each other’s company.

You never thought you’d have this thought towards another agent… but…

You really did enjoy Iso’s company. To what extent?… You were unsure.

Yet you enjoyed it regardless.

[azures-bazar]

Accommodating 

Re-uploading this one shot because I wanted to add some changes. I'm experiencing a massive writers block tho, my inspiration is gone (my new job is taking most of my mental energy away but I love it lmao)

Here is some SOFT!Arthur one-shot, again, because boy oh boy it makes me want to write a full story about him going through our current era lol

Don't mind his absolute child-like fascination for modernity, I mean... it's cool to see our tough cowboy happy, isn't it ?

Arthur Morgan x GenderNeutralReader 

Word count : 2.9k

Short summary : You make Arthur try some new technologies, and it’s quite funny to watch his large blue eyes gaze at them ! 

A/Note : I bought myself a galaxy projector not so long ago and wondered how Arthur would react lol. Don’t mind it ! 

Tags : cute, Arthur discovers modern things, mentions of Avatar, movie-watching, snacks, cute nicknames, cuddles, soft boah is in the modern world, men can also cry

A cowboy in the modern world… what a weird story to tell ! Arthur had been in your life for a few months already, slowly accommodating to your era. Sometimes, it was fun, sometimes it was almost scary, and, occasionally, it could be sad. You knew Arthur was an outlaw, a thirty-six, probably thirty-seven year-old man who had been abandoned on the top of a mountain, but he never really brought the subject to the table. In fact, on a few occasions, he would mourn the rest of his gang, he would mourn his friends he would never see again. You had done your best to cheer him up during his rather sad moments, but nothing could really fill that void. 

Arthur missed these folks, a few names were frequently mentioned : Hosea, John, Tilly, Charles, Sean and Lenny. Six people he would describe at times, probably the six people he missed the most from his former life. A father-figure, his siblings, his closest friends… he often wondered what happened to them, to these people becoming distant memories he could only mourn. As of 2023, even little Jack was gone. You wished you could do something, probably beg for Francis Sinclair to come back and drag all these people he mentioned to your time… but Francis was long gone, not even bothering about stepping by your place anymore.

You knew Arthur loved drawing stuff, so you bought him a set of sketchbooks for him to practice. He would hole himself in your now-shared room, sitting on the edge of your window or on your bed, spending about one or two hours sketching figures, animals or even sceneries which appeared to be from a very distant era, mixed with modern buildings and figures he came across while wandering in the streets with you. You often left him alone for him to enjoy his solitude, listening to some blues while sketching his discoveries before he would head to you and proudly show you some of his works. One of your walls had a full set of Arthur’s drawings framed and displayed to the eyes of any guest coming in. After all… it was art ! And nothing could make Arthur more happy than receiving compliments about his sketches he often disliked. 

Arthur still had some hard time getting used to a smartphone you had bought him as you thought it would be a good thing to keep in touch whenever you would be away from him. He nearly broke his phone’s screen twice, unable to understand why it would not switch on, struggling to send you correctly written texts. His large fingers did not help much, he would get easily frustrated by not selecting the right letter for his text. You absolutely adored each one of them, finding them incredibly cute by knowing how much Arthur wanted to do things like you. Sending a text usually took you a few seconds, whereas Arthur would roughly spend one minute writing a five-word sentence filled with typing mistakes, some of them being due to his autocorrector. 

"Im misqing yoi, Y/N !" was an almost daily message he would send you

At some point, you saw an add of a galaxy projector while scrolling on some social media, right after telling Arthur he would probably get a lot of followers if he decided, by miracle, probably, to create an account for himself. He was handsome, had some sweet-looking traits and could easily model for some alternative brands. He often said he would never do such thing, finding his face too ugly to be shown to anyone. How wrong he was, he was probably the most gorgeous-looking man you had ever met ! But, somehow, you did not want to encourage him to post pictures of himself. Social medias were a rather dangerous place for healing minds, and Arthur still needed time. Besides, he would probably not even be able to post anything due to his lack of ease using his digital keyboard ! 

You bought that lamp later that night, it got delivered quite fast. You carefully unpacked your new tool and quickly headed to your bedroom, followed by Arthur who had stopped reading a book about extinct species as he saw you wander around your place with this curious thing you held. You calmly placed the lamp on your bed, reading the instruction manual while Arthur touched it several times, not understand what the hell this little thing was and what was its purpose. 

"What’s that ?" Arthur asked 

"It’s a galaxy projector." you answered. 

"Why d’you need that ? Can’t you just look at ‘em stars from your window ?"

"Light pollution prevents it. These are often used to create a cute ambiance at home or to distract kids. Wanna give it a try ?" 

"Sure." 

Arthur sat on the bed as you switched all lights off, plugging your galaxy projector on, making a large blue and purple light come out of it, filled with laser dots representing stars. The background was moving a little, creating a wave effect which froze Arthur on place. He kept his head up, looking at your now star-covered ceiling. His surprised and mesmerised face was absolutely priceless ! His eyes were shining, his mouth remained half-open as he could not help but stare at these fake stars covering your ceiling. All his troubles were forgotten, making him return to a child-like state. It was such a beautiful thing to see ! 

"And it can also distract grown-ups." you smiled 

Your cowboy-roommate did not even react. His attention was completely focused on the ocean of fake stars he had above his head ! Of course, Arthur knew what a projector was. It would have been awesome to see his reaction if he had never seen such thing before, he would probably have been trying to catch these laser stars like a cat and look confused. But, at the moment, his reaction was pretty cute. 

You left Arthur alone in the room to buy a ready-made lunch at the local market. He had a phone and would call you whenever he would need your help, if he would get lucky enough to make his fingers touch the right icon on his screen. It only took you a few minutes to buy some finger food for the two of you to eat while watching a movie, you came back to find Arthur exactly where you had left him thirty minutes earlier, in the same position, with this same amazed facial expression blooming on his face. He was hypnotised by these lights enough to feel suddenly so lost as you opened the curtains of your bedroom. 

"Wh… what’s going on ?" he said, placing his large hand over his eyes. "Damn sunlight…"

"I brought us some food. You wanna watch a movie ?" 

"Yeah, why not ! Just… just let have my eyes back first, hun." 

Arthur rubbed his eyes and shook his head while you smiled. You absolutely loved listening to him giving you cute nicknames, such as hun, sweetheart, lovebug… even calling you boo, sometimes, after he heard about that nickname while watching TV. It took him a few more seconds to leave your bedroom, keeping his eyes partly closed until reaching your living room, helping you placing all the food on the table, still looking surprised you did not have any forks or knives to eat these carrots, chips, mozzarella sticks and cucumbers. He glanced at the chips and took one between his fingers. Since his arrival in your era, he had never seen or had the opportunity to taste chips !

"What’s that thing ?" he asked. "Is that really food ?"

"Oh, that’s a potato chip." 

"Really ? Just like fried potatoes ?" 

"Yeah, just like fried potatoes, but smaller and thinner. We can eat them for snacks or very random occasions. Try it !"

Arthur nodded, taking a bite of the chip before smiling and taking more of them into his large hand. You could not help but chuckle at his sudden addiction to salty treats, wiping away a few crumbs stuck in his three-day beard with the tip of your fingers. He turned shades darker and smiled, gently taking your hand and rubbing it with his thumb as you launched the movie. Avatar, by James Cameron. Back in a day, that movie had been vastly acclaimed for its large technological progress, and was still pleasant to be watched to this day. You would take Arthur to watch the second Avatar movie someday soon in case he liked the first one. 

"Are ‘em blue folks real ?" Arthur asked while pointing a Na’vi on screen

"No, they’re modelled with computers." you smiled, trying to explain Arthur about motion capture in the most easiest way. "Our technologies allow us to record actors and then modify their bodies thanks to computers to morph them into these blue folks, like you call them."

"Is there a planet called Pandora too ?" 

"I don’t know. Probably ? The universe in infinite, and we didn’t explore much yet." 

The gaze Arthur gave you was adorable. You could see his eyes shine with admiration, it was such a privilege to be able to witness an era which was more than one hundred years ahead of his time, despite its good and bad moments. You had tried your best to keep Arthur away from newspapers in order to help him remain in his rather innocent state of discovery, knowing that a simple glance at the news on TV would probably make him terribly sad and somewhat nostalgic of his own time. 

It was quite unexpected, but Arthur cried during the movie. He cried because of its overall beauty, the story appeared amazing to his eyes, the soft melodies and choirs chanting in background soundtracks moved him a lot. He loved the bioluminescent effect of some scenes, the overall atmosphere of the movie, not taking his eyes away from your TV while wrapping his arm around your shoulders, gently kissing your temple at times. He adored that, he adored this moment. Having you close to him while being fully taken into this movie made him forget about all his past troubles.

"D’you also have ‘em guns ?" he softly asked 

"Maybe… why ? You want one in case you’d come across blue people ?" 

"Mmmm… yeah. Jus’ in case. I miss my good ol' revolver, sometimes." 

You rested your head on his shoulder, somewhat amused by his sweet attitude. You would listen to his gasps, his soft squeals, his almost inaudible wows… you could not deny how adorable Arthur was. You could even hear him sniff, his chest trembling a little whenever a scene would be emotional enough to bring him to tears. Who would have thought Arthur could be so sensitive ? Those who knew him much more than you did. Hosea and Charles, for instance, and most probably John at some point, even Dutch. Just by looking at his drawings, you could have guessed he had a soft heart and high intelligence hidden underneath his rather menacing appearance. 

The movie lasted for so long… you had time to check your phone about a dozen times while resting against Arthur whose eyes were glued to the screen. You did not even want to bother him, he was absolutely hypnotised by the movie and did not want to be bothered. You smiled at him as the credits rolled, noticing tears streaming on his cheeks as you teasingly poked them. 

"Getting a little sensitive, huh ?" you smiled 

"That was a beautiful show !" Arthur answered. "I loved every second of it ! Can we watch it again ?" 

"Someday, we will. But... let's just take a break, okay ?" 

Night came pretty fast, Arthur made you a lavender infusion, you found enough energy to work a little while Arthur sat on the couch and started sketching. Very random figures, some fantasy-like sceneries… and you. You could easily tell he was drawing you by looking towards your direction a few times, then proceeding to sketch something, and looking back again. Another artwork to frame, that was for sure ! 

"What are you drawing, cowboy ?" you smiled 

"Well… I’m trying to sketch you, but I can’t get it right… you’re too gorgeous and my hand shakes too much." 

"That’s… that’s really sweet !" 

"I mean it." 

What Arthur told you made your heart stop beating, you turned shades darker and hid your face behind your hands. Your smile widened enough to cause your roommate to move closer to you, carefully closing your laptop with a large smirk blooming on his face. He made you stand up, slowly uncovering your beautiful face before dropping a sweet kiss on your forehead. 

"You’re making me melt, you know that ?" you smiled 

"Let’s get you to bed so you’ll stop workin’ on your… weird machine here." 

"It’s a computer, Arthur." 

"Well, computer or not, you’re going to bed with me ‘cause it’s kinda late."

You shrugged, you didn’t notice how fast time had passed since you decided to get back to work ! Remote-working had its ups and downs, and Arthur had complained a few times about you staying up too late instead of going to bed and hide into his embrace. He could hardly sleep without having you next to him, and there were no ways to escape him that night. How could you resist these puppy eyes and insisting behaviour ? Your arms spread wide for him to lift you up while you dragged your legs around his hips. Arthur loved carrying you around your place, he could easily remain in shape by doing this almost on a daily basis ! You did not mind it. In fact, you loved having him carry you from a room to another. Bridal and koala style, as you called it, were your favourite. 

Arthur calmly put you on the bed and proceeded switching all lights off while you changed into some more comfortable wear, slipping under your blanket as Arthur moved next to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. He took advantage of you turning yourself towards him to passionately kiss you before making you rest your head on his shoulder. You remained like this for a few seconds, in your pitch-black bedroom, up until Arthur cleared his throat. 

"Erm… Y/N ?" he sheepishly asked 

"Yeah ? What’s wrong ?" 

"Would you mind… switching the galaxy lamp on for a bit ? I… I liked it and…-"

"Sure, sweetheart."

You gasped at your own sudden reaction. "Sweetheart ? Really ?" you scolded yourself, covering your forehead with your palm. You never dared giving Arthur nicknames, not finding anyone of them suitable enough for your time-traveling cowboy, his sole name sounded just fine, you would sometimes call him by his surname. Sweetheart came out of nowhere, and was well deserved ! 

"S-sorry." you stuttered 

"Nah, it’s fine." Morgan responded. "I like ‘em sweet nicknames. "

Arthur smiled, deeply flattered by the nickname you just gave him. His heart pounded faster than expected as you calmly reached out to get the lamp and switched it on. A beautiful fake galaxy suddenly covered your ceiling, filled with laser stars which slowly moved along with the rest of the digital ocean of blue and purple clouds behind them. You analysed Arthur’s reaction and smiled at his sight. 

"Why do you like this lamp so much ?" you smiled

"Oh… it just reminds of home." Arthur answered as he moved closer to you, allowing you to place your head back on his chest 

"You never slept with a roof over your head before you came here ?" 

"I did, at some point… but I got used to fall asleep while gazing at the stars from a corner of my tent, or sometimes from my bedroll when I was away. Gazing at ‘em moving above me was always calming."

"If you want, we could go camping this summer. Would you like that ?"

You heard Arthur moan a little, feeling his heart pound faster. Your head rose a little, allowing you to get a better view of Arthur’s beautiful face. Your hand caressed his chest, drawing circles on them while you kept gazing at him. His eyes kept staring at the ceiling until he felt your gaze, slowly turning his head to you. 

"That’d be awesome." he smiled 

There were many things left to discover, many things you wanted to show Arthur. The world was full of treasures, modern or ancient, cultures you wanted him to get familiar with, places to visit… Arthur’s health was back to normal, you could now guide him through your own era without bothering about any health issues he would encounter. Indeed, that man was not twenty anymore, but you were ready to do so much for him ! You were ready to guide him, to be with him. Beyond what Francis had first asked you. Your help turned into a beautiful blossoming relationship filled with embraces, kisses and… very noisy nights. 

Switching this galaxy lamp became some sort of ritual every single night. Along with waking up to Arthur’s face and his hugs after you would come back from work, your daily embrace in bed facing a fake galaxy was your most favourite part of the day. At times, you would run your fingers into Arthur’s dirty-blonde locks, massaging his scalp with singing some song. Sometimes, he would do the same with you. You adored it, you adored him. No, you loved him… and did not have the courage to tell him just yet, but you knew this day would come soon enough. The world was filled with treasures, mysteries and beauty. 

And Arthur was going to find out about them. 

[coldbrewreid]

Falling the hard way.

[ Spencer reid x reader ]

WARNINGS: lots of mentions of anorexia, overexhaustion, professor - student relationship, sickly thin reader

note: this is how i cope, if you feel triggered by any of these please dont read. also, i am in no way trying to romanticise eating disorders.

Summary: when you joined university, you thought it would be different than highschool, but you were wrong. The bullying stayed, making you relapse anorexia. Dr. Spencer Reid’s eyes worryingly go after you everywhere.

[READERS POV]

Another semester is ahead of me, today is the first day of new beginnings. You already went there for a year or so, but this time everything changed. As I pulled the clothes on my slim body, with coffee in hand, I left my apartment. Everyone was treating me differently since I lost a lot of weight.

Some with fascination, some with frustration, but non with worry. Until this day. First lesson for the day was criminology, so I rushed to the room filled with some students already. All that hurry made me really dizzy, so after finding my seat, I took some more sips from my iced americano. I left it in the fridge yesterday, it was still good thought. When an unknown middle aged man walked into the room, my eyes widened. Who is this dude, and where’s our old teacher? She wasn’t that tempting as this fine man was.

- Good morning Students! My name is Dr. Spencer Reid. As you might know, unfortunately Dr. Flamming died yesterday. - He sighed, then look around a bit. We locked eyes for a moment, and it almost made me as dizzy as pe classes did back in highscool. His beautiful hazel brown eyes struck into me like lighting, leaving me scarred for the rest of my life. I can’t have him. First of all, he’s my professor, second of all, he’s like fourty- and last but not least: I’m fucked up. I wouldn’t be able to recover if somebody was watching over me, waiting to fatten me up so they can make fun of me. I have to do this on my own.

He started teaching, this time we talked about trigger. How criminals get sucked into, and destroy their life for something that happened to them. I have been only bad with myself, so no jail for me. Maybe the mental hospital would be a good idea, but I’m not even sick enough for that..Will I ever be?

I saw the girls, even some boys were already amazed by Dr. Reid. No way I would ever have a chance with someone like him.

I stood up way too fast, when the class was over. I wanted to go out for a cigarette, so I can clear my head. Ruining my plans, my vision went blurry, and my stick legs gave up their duty. I fainted, like on those stupid eating disorder movies. How lame, I should know fucking better then this.

I woke up in a hospital, which already made me panic big time. I wanted to leave, but someone prevented me from doing so. I thought it was a nurse, but no. It was my criminology professor.

- Hey! Go easy now. You have to stay here. You are severely malnourished, but I think you are aware of that fact too. - He sighed, and soon a nurse came in too with…food.

- No thank you, I’m not hungry! I’m curious about when can I leave? - I said, sitting cross legged on the cheap bed.

- You can either have this meal young lady, or you can have the tubes again. - It’s the same nurse as five years ago. I hate my luck. I saw Dr. Reid was worried, so I took the plate. - Thanks. This was just a tiny slip up, I promise. I’m way better! - I said to the woman working here. She sent me a disbelieving scoff, and left the room.

- What a bitch. - I muttered, and picked up the plastic fork. Usually they give silver ones, but they know me already. Once I tried to attack a nurse who was trying to force feed me.

- She is just worried. We all are. - He started at me, volunteeringly watching me eat. - Do you want some help? I know it’s hard to get yourself to do it in this headspace.

- Don’t profile me. I like privacy when I’m eating. Okay? - I looked at him annoyed, but he only smiled a little. What a jerk!

- Absolutely not. I’m gonna sit here, and watch until you finish that. - He sat down, leaning forward to watch me play with my food.

- Are you into feederism or something? - I sighed, and slowly started eating, drinking some water after each bite.

- No, I’m not into eating disorders in general. Listen, you don’t know me. Why don’t you speak about your relapse? It’s easier to tell someone you hardly know. And maybe I can help. I’m pretty big into psychology as you could probably tell. - He chuckled a bit at the end, and god it was adorable.

I swallowed the food that was in my mouth, drink some more water, and started speaking again.

- Well, why not. It’s stupid tho. There was this phase in high school when I would hardly eat anything, and throwing up after I had something. It was because all of middle school, they bullied me for my size. They even pretended to like me, so they can wound me harder after I believed them. It was a nightmare. Anyways….I somehow recovered, and now I’m here again. I had some of my old friends tell me that I gained a lot of weight and that hit the spot probably. - I fought back tears at the end of my speech, I was embarrassed, mortified even.

- I saw your picture up on the university wall. You are one of the top students. You looked really pretty. Mesmerising. You weren’t even chubby. I realise they probably meant that in a positive way, meaning that you are glowing, you look healthy, and..yourself. But for a former anorexic, it’s really stupid to say that. A simple compliment would have been better. I’m so sorry. Come here. - He spread his arms, inviting me to a hug. I was very vulnerable, so I gave in.

- You did so well. So so well, and I’m really proud of you. I mean it. - He pat my head as soon as he let go of me, and I honestly thought I was in heaven.

[smalls-words]

Parenthood

Summary: Wanda has always wanted to be a mom, whilst you have had your doubts.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Widow!Reader

Genre: Angst, little bit of fluff at the end

Warnings: Scaring Wanda with a gun, early stages of pregnancy, being a mom, gender reveal parties, doing something you shouldn’t have (i suck at warnings without spoiling stuff)

Requested: yes/NO

Words: 3,448

A/N: This was written on the fact that I don’t have a great relationship with my mother (she is NOT my mom, that’s for sure) and I’m personally terrified of being a mom. I know I don’t have to be pregnant (which is another fear of mine) but I do like the idea of having children. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk :)

*not my gif*

Ever since you became a SHIELD agent beside Natasha, you knew what could happen in your personal life. If you had a partner, enemies could try to use them as leverage, so you closed yourself off romantically. Similarly, children were a no-go, without question.

Which made you slightly glad you had graduated in the Red Room. Yes, the torture, the chemical subjugation and the psychological conditioning was traumatic and filled your nightmares, but you didn’t have to worry about having children, having a weakness. It made everything easier, especially the killing. 

But, your abstinence of love came to an end when you met Wanda Maximoff. You were on a mission in the Bahamas whilst the whole Sokovia deal went down, which meant that when you returned, you were surprised to see a new addition to the team. Vision was there too, but you didn’t really pay much attention to him.

Instead, you wondered why nobody was talking to this sweet-looking and obviously saddened woman. She was about your age and you had come to introduce yourself once, but the look on her face confused you.

“I’m Agent L/N, but you can call me Y/N. What’s your name?”

She looked up at you and muttered her name softly. “Wanda. Wanda Maximoff.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Wanda. Do you want to watch a movie?” You offered as you scanned through the kitchen for a snack. 

You took her silence as a yes and began to pull out some popcorn and other sweets before you saw a red wisp come past and grab a bag of candy. You watched, mesmerised, as it floated back to Wanda and her eyes held that similar glow.

“Do it again.” You blurted out, surprised by your own words. 

“I’m sorry?” Wanda asked and you quickly threw the popcorn packet at her, her magic stopping it from hitting her in the face.

“Whoa.” You chuckled, creeping up next to it with complete fascination in your eyes.

“Y-You like it?” 

You looked up at Wanda. “Like it? It looks amazing! This is so cool!” You brushed your hands through the wisps, watching them break and reform when your hand moved far enough away.

“It tickles.” You snickered, watching Wanda’s eyes drop to her candy.

Your smile faded as she picked one out, only for it to grow back as she offered it to you. You opened your mouth and she placed it on your tongue, watching you taste it and hum happily.

“Careful now, Maximoff. I might just start liking your sweets a bit too much.” You smirked, grabbing her hand before you dragged her to the movie room. 

——————————🜃🜂🜁🜄 —————————

That was four years ago. It took a while, but Wanda eventually confessed her love for you, only for you to say it back instantly with a kiss. Now, you lived in your own apartment that wasn’t too far from the Avengers Compound so you could still do missions. 

It was a busy day at work and you had just come home, exhausted. Training recruits was a mess when every one of them had poor stance or technique, making you have to save a couple of them from breaking their necks or snapping another’s. 

“Wands? I’m home.” You called out, placing your bag down in the kitchen to see dinner cooked and sitting idly in pots and pans. 

But no Wanda. 

“Honey?!” You called again, this time with more urgency. 

You swept through the house with your gun by your side and saw a light on - your bedroom. You heard muffled cries and instantly pulled your gun up into your sights, creeping silently around the bathroom door before stepping out to aim the gun at the back of Wanda’s head.

She shrieked and spun to face you, eyes wide with fear. You threw the gun to the ground and swept her into your arms, calming her down. 

“Shh, my love. It’s okay, I just thought someone had taken you. It’s alright, I’m here.” You cooed, running your fingers through her hair as she caught her breath.

“Don’t you do that ever again, you hear me?” She scolded you lightly whilst she hugged you, your eyes opening to see a white stick turned upside down on the bathroom counter.

“Wanda… what is that?”

She pulled away from you and fiddled with the rings on her fingers. “I’m late.” 

Your eyes widened. You two hadn’t been trying, but you knew being a mother was a part of Wanda’s future, whether you liked it or not. Of course, you had supported her decision, but you always had a nagging voice in the back of your head. 

“M-My rose, how much time left?”

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and showed you the timer. 20 seconds. You took a few deep breaths with her and watched the timer stop, spinning Wanda around so she could pick up the stick whilst being held by you. 

Two lines. 

Wanda placed the stick down and clasped a hand over her mouth, looking at you in the mirror. You were still looking at the stick and her magic brought your eyes to the mirror, seeing her teary expression of happiness.

“I’m gonna be a mom.” She whispered, shocked. 

“You’re gonna be a mom, my love.” You smirked softly, kissing her cheek as she looked down at the test. 

“I’m gonna be a mom!” 

She spun around and kissed you feverishly, to which you could taste the salty tears within her lips. You pulled away and she looked confused, but you simply brushed away a few stray hairs before you cupped her cheeks.

“We’re gonna be moms.” You smiled with a whisper, hiding your insecurity deep within your fortified mind. 

She grinned at you and kissed you again before shoving you into the shower, cleaning you quickly so that you could call everyone you wanted to call. 

And you knew you were running out of time to tell her. 

——————————🜃🜂🜁🜄 —————————

You sat patiently in the nurse’s office whilst Wanda lifted her shirt to expose her stomach, shivering at the cold gel the nurse put on. The ultrasound whirred to life and you simply stared at the screen, confused by the whole contraption. 

“Wanda, would you like to meet your child?” The nurse turned to show her the screen, the outline of a growing baby. 

She chuffed out in shock and looked up at you, but your eyes were still trained on the screen. Suddenly, the nurse began to move the wand over on the witch’s stomach and gasped. 

“I should say children. You’re having twins! Congratulations!” 

You and Wanda made eye contact before she kissed you softly, happiness flooding her whilst the nurse cleaned her stomach of gel and dismissed you both. You had both planned to have a gender reveal at the Avengers Compound and the nurse sent the results to Natasha, the only person you really trusted with that information. 

The drive back home was quiet as you both processed this new information. Not only was Wanda healthily pregnant, but she had two babies growing inside of her. Two. One you could handle, but two? It seemed like a lot of work.

Your insecurity inched closer to the front of your mind. 

——————————🜃🜂🜁🜄 —————————

You stood in the compound with a can of soda in your hand. Two boys. Everyone was elated and Wanda was distracted enough by all of the congratulations that you had slipped away into the kitchen. You could feel your breathing getting shorter and you closed your eyes, doing what your therapist had taught you - slow, deep breaths.

It wasn’t until you felt a hand on your shoulder that you opened your eyes, seeing Natasha stand next to you.

“Congratulations.” She muttered, leaning against the counter as she watched you.

“Natasha, can I tell you something?” You asked, afraid that you would be judged.

She nodded silently, waiting patiently for you to speak. Your mouth opened and closed, huffs of air coming out as you couldn’t put your thoughts into words.

“You don’t know if you want to be a mom.” Natasha answered for you, watching your body tense up before it relaxed.

“You knew? Of course you knew, you’re Natasha freaking Romanoff.” You slapped your palm into your face, sitting down on the couch chair before she sat opposite you and put her glass of wine down.

“Y/N, you are a brilliant woman. You excelled in every aspect of your life and you were sure of every decision you made, including marrying Wanda. Why are you so hesitant now?”

“I… I don’t know, Natasha.” You sighed, putting your head in your hands.

“I love her, I really do, but I just don’t know. I don’t know if I can handle one kid, let alone two. What do I teach them? How can I be a mom when I didn’t even have one of my own? She moulded me into the perfect assassin, almost as perfect as you. I just…”

Natasha sighed and moved towards you, sitting on the arm of the chair before her hand fell onto the middle of your back. “Look, I think you need to talk to Wanda. Maybe take a few days off, have a chat with her and you’ll figure it out. She’s perfect for you and you can’t let her go, Y/N.” 

You nodded as you sniffled and dried away your tears. You stood and turned to the Widow who held a plain look on her face. 

“I’ll talk to her tonight. For now, we celebrate.”

——————————🜃🜂🜁🜄 —————————

You sat nervously in Wanda’s room, holding onto the small ultrasound image of your twin boys. You smiled softly and fiddled with the edge of the photo before you heard a knock at the door, your head turning to see your beautiful wife standing in the frame.

“Tired?” You asked, opening the sheets next to you.

She nodded and came underneath before holding onto your waist, looking at the image with complete love. “I’ve already started thinking of names.” 

You hummed, waiting to hear them. She told you a few and you liked them all, unable to choose since your mind wasn’t really in the conversation. It wandered as you thought about how you’d tell her, still hidden behind the shield in your mind. 

You hated hiding things from her, but this was very much a ‘you’ thing. You knew Wanda wouldn’t give them away; this has been her dream since she moved in with the Avengers. You sniffled quietly as a few tears fell to your eye, not going unnoticed by Wanda.

“Hey… why the tears, my love?” She asked you softly, brushing them away with the pad of her thumb. 

“Just… emotional. And you’re the pregnant one.” You scoffed lightly, kissing her plump lips as she leaned into you. 

“How about we go to sleep?” She offered, wrapping you in her arms.

She watched as you tensed, pulling away slowly as she registered the battling look in your eyes. “Y/N… show me your thoughts.” 

You looked up at her and her furrowed brows, shaking your head lightly as you scoffed. “Wanda, it’s not something for you.” 

“Like hell it isn’t. Show me them, Y/N, now.” She lifted her palm towards your head but you rolled off of the bed before it could reach.

“Wanda, it’s my mind.” You barked. 

“And you’re my wife. Tell me what is troubling you or I will force my way in.” She growled, her eyes now glowing. 

You felt annoyance drip through your thoughts. This was something you had to figure out, alone - why couldn’t she understand that?

“You’re forcing my hand here, detka (baby). I don’t want to hurt you, but I’ve trained you on how to keep a telepath at bay, so I have no doubt your mind is fortified.” 

“Really? You’re using that pet name?” You huffed, only to realise what information you had spilled.

Her eyes stopped glowing as she looked at you. “Is this… Do you not want to be a mother? Y/N, I’m too far along to have an abortion and I’m not giving them up. I want to be a mom.” 

You looked up at her before you turned away, your voice quiet. “You could’ve asked me before you magicked them into your belly.” 

She whipped your head around with her magic and you were forced to look her in the eye. “Y/N, do you or do you not want to be a mom?”

“Wanda, it’s not that simple!” You pushed her backwards lightly, but she stumbled onto the bed as shock filled you.

“No… Wanda, please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Get out.” She spoke quietly, making you all the more terrified.

“Wanda, please-”

“GET OUT!” 

The door opened behind you and her magic picked you up before you were thrown like a ragdoll into the empty hallway, something you were thankful for, whilst your head hit violently against the wall. In a daze, you looked up and saw a slight glimmer of guilt before Wanda’s door closed, shutting you out. 

You stood and shuffled towards her door, pressing your forehead against it like you should have done with her palm. 

“Honey, please…” You whimpered.

Natasha was right. Wanda was perfect for you and you couldn’t lose her, even if your stupidity had probably just done that. 

——————————🜃🜂🜁🜄 —————————

It had been three days since you talked to Wanda. You’d seen her throughout the compound, smiling and chatting whilst she would do some light exercise with Clint or Natasha. However, every time you came into the room, she would briefly say goodbye before leaving. 

“She’s a stubborn one, that’s for sure.” Natasha smirked as you walked over to her by the ring, sweat dripping down her shoulders that you threw a towel at.

“Cover up before your fiancé gets jealous.” You grumbled, waving at Maria from across the gym. 

“Somebody’s a sour-puss. What, you miss your wifey?” 

You glared at Natasha and she shook her head whilst chuckling. “You know I’m just teasing you. You should corner her somehow, then explain your absolutely shitty thought that you’d be a crappy mom.” 

Suddenly, an idea appeared in your mind and you snatched onto it before hiding it within your fortress. Natasha watched as it folded out into a plan on your face, even if nobody else could read it.

You walked out of the gym and echoed out the thought that you hated being in the upcoming corridor on your left, knowing that Wanda would go right. After a few minutes, you did the same, but sent her left instead of right.

By the time you were done, you had cornered her in the hallway that you shared, with your room on the left and hers on the right, even if you hadn’t been in yours for ages. You watched as she walked into her room, leaving the door open without another thought, and you snuck inside before closing it quietly.

She started to undress and your eyes widened before you cleared your throat. She spun quickly to see you with your eyes closed, something she remembered from the early stages of your relationship. 

“Wanda, please, let me explain.” You started, but you didn’t see the anger on her face.

“Open those annoyingly beautiful eyes and look at me when you speak.” 

You hid the smile that came from the angered compliment and opened them slowly, watching her calm slightly at the sight of them. You knew she would look at them forever if she wanted to, simply enamoured by your beauty.

“You wanna explain? Which part? The part where you were going to skip town when I had the boys? Or the part where you touched me in a way you said you would never do?” 

You could see the tears in her eyes as she stood in front of you, your guilt filling your mind. You remembered that promise, to never hurt her like HYDRA did, to never touch her in any way short of lovingly. 

“Well? Speak!” She huffed, and you heard the sad tone hidden behind the anger.

You took one step closer to her until her chest was against yours and you cupped her cheek softly, bringing her nose to yours. 

“I will never leave you. Not in a million years.” You sealed that promise, keeping it locked in your heart.

“Then why don’t you want to be a mom?” She sniffled, not able to hold it back anymore. 

You sighed and let your thumbs dance along her skin before the words came to you. “A person worthy of the devil’s praise should not be having a child with the most pure soul in the multiverse.” 

She watched you pause before you hugged her tightly, pulling her ear towards your lips. “I’m terrified, my love. I’m terrified they will be broken, just as I am, and I’m terrified I will not be enough for you or for them.” 

You felt her body jolt with shock before you pulled away, giving her a brief kiss on the forehead as you moved to leave. You knew, in your heart, that Wanda deserved better than you, that she deserved someone who wasn’t scared of parenthood. 

So if leaving her was the best choice, then so be it.

But you felt something tighten around your waist and looked down, a thin wisp of red curled around you before you were pulled back. You were spun into the arms of your wife who kissed you passionately, holding you tightly by the hips as her body pressed against yours, reaching and stretching your shirt before she pulled away to breathe.

“I do not deserve better than you, Y/N, because you are the best for me. I want you, and I have wanted you for so long. Why do you think I put a ring on that bloody finger of yours, hm?” She asked, watching as tears pricked your eyes whilst her vision became blurry.

“You showed me that love came in many forms before it became romantic. The act of giving, of assuring, of touching, of doing, you showed me that before you even kissed me. Even if I married Vision, I know you would stick around and be here because you are the one who said those magic words first.” 

You blushed softly and she cupped your cheeks, kissing you oh so gently now. She simply loved the feeling of you against her, in every way imaginable, even if it was something as small as your lips. 

“You would never marry that toaster. I’d forbid it.” You grumbled, nestling into her neck as she laughed heartily.

“Oh, really?” 

“Mhmm. I’d object at the ceremony before I’d pull you down the aisle, and even if I didn’t object, I’d steal you within the cover of darkness.” 

She snickered softly before she pulled you into a comforting hug, the kind that got you hooked on the drug that was Wanda Maximoff. 

“Now…” She pulled away, letting her fingers delve through your hair like it was second nature; and it was.

“Are you ready to be a mom with me?”

You stiffened slightly but the light touch on your jaws made you nod softly. “I have nine months to get over this fear and to show you that I won’t leave.”

She grinned and curved herself into you, hooking her arms around your neck as she lightly hung there, simply being with you. She nuzzled into your neck and you sighed, breathing in her coconut shampoo whilst your hands moved to her belly. She smiled against your skin as she felt you kneel down in front of her, lifting her shirt to show her slight belly bump. 

You caressed it slowly, like you were admiring the smoothness of an eroded stone, and kissed her skin. “Mama loves you, boys, no matter what. Mama won’t run away from Mom, not in a million years.” 

“You can definitely try, but you won’t get far.” Wanda smirked, making your eyes stay on her even as you stood.

“Let’s get you some rest. I fear that with two of them, you will not have it for much longer.” 

She sighed into you as you picked her up by her thighs, laying her down in the bed before you crawled in beside her. Your shoulder became her pillow and her stomach became your hand’s resting place, brushing just underneath the hem with your thumb.

“I love you, Wanda.” You kissed her temple.

“I love you too, Y/N.” She murmured against your shirt, kissing it softly before you both fell asleep.

[thevibraniumveterans]

S2 of WHAT IF…

Ep1- “…Nebula joined the Nova Corps?”

Love the bleak opening sequence

Fascinating how Nebula narrates the context. Her “five years of isolation” hits hard.

Nova Prime siding with Ronan was a surprise

Ep2- “…Peter Quill Attacked Earth’s Mightiest Heroes?”

Cool intro; Peter leaning into his inherent powers is interesting…

The Winter Soldier being Gorbachev’s tool to contain Peter is surprising, but not unexpected…

“Does anyone have a plan?”/“I have a plan; retreat.” 😂

Thor announcing that Peter killed off all the Nine Realms except Earth; Peter needed containment to prevent him being too powerful.

Hope breaking Peter out is unexpected.

But Peter defeating his dad is a great ending.

Ep3- “…Happy Hogan Saved Christmas?”

Cool X’mas riff in the beginning music

Avengers Tower… looking festive.

Happy getting accidentally injected with Banner blood is unexpected.

Beethoven’s 9th riff playing when Darcy discovers a whole collection!

“Time for the Hammer to get nailed” 🤣

Overall, great X’mas episode.

Ep4- “…Iron Man Crashed into the Grandmaster?”

Cool that the Guardians of the Multiverse (from S1) are back!

Gamora’s origin story is a Tony Stark episode that looks to focus a bit on Valkyrie? Interesting…

Wonder what Gamora is doing there.

The little Chinchilla is adorable.

Tony with the nicknames (“Technicolor Dream Coat” is a Andrew Lloyd Webber musical reference) is hilarious

Also, Tony building a suit that reforms into a race car on command, and back, is AWESOME

Turns out, Tony inspired Gamora to be a hero.

Gamora melting Thanos, did not see that coming.

Ep5- “…Captain Carter Fought the Hydra Stomper?”

Cool Avengers team; with Carter and Janet instead of Steve and Banner.

It’s kind of what if 2012’s Battle of New York went differently. Then we pick up kind of CATWS but it’s Peggy and Nat.

Peggy’s spin-twist was really cool.

The whole reverse-CATWS but instead of Bucky gone bad and Steve finding out, it’s Steve gone bad and Peggy finding out.

Bucky as a Secretary of State? Did NOT see that coming. But makes sense that Bucky would be the one to try to bring Steve back. Truly a reverse CATWS.

The Stomper Suit keeping Steve alive, I wonder how.

Carter’s hilarious Star Wars reference to carbonite.

Also, the camera panning around Steve and Peggy, is a mirror of the Tony/Pepper one in Endgame.

Melina being part robot is also kind of creepy.

Captain Carter having a musical is hilarious too

Also, the emotional vibes kind of veering into CACW and “Black Widow” territory is quite fascinating.

Peggy disappears thru a portal, only to be greeted by Wanda.

Ep6- “…Kahhori Reshaped the World?”

Ragnarok comes early…

Also, this episode isn’t the first time we see the horrors of Spanish conquistadors invading on native land; we last saw that in Wakanda Forever a few years ago.

But when the Watcher narrates the context, it mirrors the Black Panther movie’s narrative about how the Vibranium came to Earth and ended with the peacemaking between various tribes.

Also great to note that this is the first MCU entry where nobody, except the Watcher (and Stephen Strange at the end) speaks English.

It’s really awesome that the Space Stone energy gives the people from the Sky World (who are formerly Mohawk natives from Earth) and Kahhori very, VERY interesting powers.

KAHHORI MOVED THE PORTAL TO THE LAND!! That is an insane amount of power and strength! That’s wonderful!

Kahhori and her people sinking the Spanish Armada is a sight to behold.

Ep7- “…Hela Found the Ten Rings?”

Hela suddenly being able to speak Putonghua was a surprise.

Odin says that the bearer of Hela’s crown be merciful, which explains why Hela is at first unable to lift it. Just like the first Thor movie.

I kind of wonder why Wenwu would invite Hela to wear a traditional dress; but more importantly, why does he have one ready?

MORRIS RETURNS!! Best fuzzy thing.

Hela visits Talo.

Folding paper. That’s basically Origami. IRL history has it that China has its own paper folding traditions long ago, just like Japan, but separately.

Hela being upset that Fenrir as a puppy was taken from her, is something interesting too.

Asgard, a realm of Norse legend, and Ta Lo, a fictitious Chinese fantasy realm, coming together to free the cosmos, is something I did not see coming.

Ep8- “…the Avengers Assembled in 1602?”

Tom Hiddleston as Loki narrating Hamlet? Not surprising.

Wanda summoned Carter from three episodes ago, and turns out Thor knew about this here.

But what are those portals? Wanda warns to stop them.

Wanda speaks of a lost traveler…

Tony says “Forerunner” but the caption says “person”.

Loki speaking of William Shakespeare writing about Iago in the play Othello.

Rogers Hood. Hilarious combo of Steve Rogers and Robin Hood.

Rogers and Carter double-teaming with the shield is really cool.

Where did the Destroyer come from?

Hogan throwing out all manner of old fashioned insults is hilarious 😆

Also, why is Hogan a hulk in this episode? He was one in the Christmas episode but this one?

Turns out the Forerunner is mainMCU!Steve?

The main effect is that Carter is alone again.

Strange Supreme makes an appearance. Which we leave on a “TBC” for next episode. The fact that he went to fetch Kahhori in Ep6 must mean something big is in the finale…

Ep9- “…Strange Supreme Intervened?”

Interesting; we get the full MCU theme for the title card. We never got the full theme in previous episodes.

Peggy speaks with Strange, who keeps dangerous beings inside their own little crystals.

If the Watcher is a metaphor for us, and Strange implying that the Watcher may not always be right, that means that we might not also always be right about certain things.

Peggy enters South Dakota… where Red Skull (HYDRA) exploded the Tesseract. But why would Kahhori be a danger to the Multiverse, considering Strange net with her last episode? Why is she considered a danger in this one?

Also, Kahhori now speaks English. Not odd, per se, but it helps. She says Strange is “a universe killer.” Which, in some way, he is.

Also, a dragon from Ta Lo, which kinda sells the point.

Hela being insulted that Kahhori sent the swords back is hilarious 😆

Peggy gets an Infinity Armor is pretty to cool. Also, Peggy and Kahhori vs Strange? That’s also really cool.

Peggy gets sent back to her home, but it’s an illusion, and she sees right through it.

Though, playing with the lives of so many people to face Strange, that’s a weird effect, perhaps meant to be “comedic” in a way, but comes off as cruel, which might have been the more intended effect.

Also, the characters falling to the portal just basically overpowering Peggy with their weapons? It’s very interesting because it’s not overpowering her for no reason, she NEEDS to be overpowered to stop an already over-powered Strange. She needs to be MORE than him to win.She gets Hela’s crown, a large sword, and multiple other weapons, while Kahhori uses her powers to lift Thor’s hammers and also uses the Ten Rings. Both Peggy and Kahhori MUST be overpowered to overpower Strange and stop him.

Strange becomes a huge devil monster and falls into the Forge.

Peggy goes to the Watcher.

S2E9 ending exactly as Loki S2E6 did, that’s interesting.

[morkofday]

Nine people you'd like to get to know better

thank you for tagging me bea @23point5degree ♥

tagging in return: @jimmysea @chinzhilla @spicyvampire @thasorns @icouldhyperfixatehim @stormyoceans @mooninagust @celestial-sapphicss @khaotunqs ♥

and now revealing my darkest secrets heh

-

3 ships

based on the fics i've been consuming lately (explains truly where my head is at rn):

the chocobros ot4 (ignis, prompto, gladiolus, and noctis) from final fantasy xv (you cannot convince me anyone would go to such lengths just for their "bro" even when said bro is royalty and the chosen king to save the world)

yuu kanda and allen walker from d.gray-man (used to watch this anime around 10 years ago and decided to do it again on a whim. it was as good as i remembered and i had to continue to the manga after finishing it. now am experiencing major brainrot bc like i saw someone comment, for a manga that doesn't aim to be a bl, it surely does make it hard to believe otherwise. i also adore the tragedy of it all)

chris redfield and leon s. kennedy from resident evil (maybe the most important thing were the ppl we met and could count on during the zombie apocalypse ♥ also damn, these bitches)

First ship

my first ever ship i read fanfics for was dominic x brian from fast & furious. otherwise, my first ever ship came from anime as i was consuming that before i ever touched any bl dramas.

my true first ship would so be soubi and ritsuka from the 2005 anime adaptation of the manga loveless. a bit questionable choice i admit, but i still collect the manga bc i find the story fascinating and delightfully painful. also, i love the concept of named pairs (soulmatism with a knife) and their ability to fight against each other

my first ever (thai) bl ship would probably be korn and knock from together with me. there was just something about them back then that made me feel slightly deranged. (with bonus yihwa bc i still think she's one of the best female characters in a bl)

Last song

ดาวหางฮัลเลย์ (halley's comet) by fellow fellow. (sea sung this during his solo stage in last twilight new dawn: live on stage and i've been addicted ever since. i usually listen to this on loop for hours, it's just so nice and vibe-y)

Currently reading

still stuck with midnight sun, for my thesis. otherwise, consuming only fanfics and hoping to get to the little prince soon.

Last movie

the newest resident evil animated movie resident evil: death island (2023). tells you about the depths of that particular brainrot :'D the latest acted movie would probably be the korean movie silenced (2011).

Currently craving

something more solid to eat, especially the pile of snacks i have stored away until i can eat them. got my wisdom tooth removed a couple of days ago and have been mostly eating soup, yogurt, porridge, ice cream, smoothies... anything liquid-y. starting to feel a bit bored but am gonna be free soon

[dausy]

Back when the Barbie movie came out a couple of extremely girly hot-pink cafes opened. I didn't want to go by myself (when husband was deployed) because they seemed awfully crowded during Barbie and they're downtown and I hate trying to park in downtown areas. Anyway, my husband took me to brunch at one yesterday and it was fabulous. We had actually already heard the food was pretty blah but our iced coffes were all actually very good and glittery and cute. Everything was covered in pink and glitter. I'm glad I accidentally dressed appropriately. My one complaint about this city is nobody seems to believe in french pastries. Truly I want just want a good coffee and croissant. You can find a croissant but you can't get it at a coffee shop. If you do then the coffee isn't good.

We then visited the local Comic-con. I like to look but the second hand embarrassment always kills me. Its just not really the land of my peoples. I really wanted to catch glimpses of Patrick Warburton and Zachary Levi on camera but there were so many people, I felt anxious trying to pull out my phone. I was really hoping to find some sort of sailor moon figurine. I know I can purchase them online but I kind of wanted the real life shopping experience. One of my biggest con regrets was years ago, I went to a convention and somebody had a table of unique sailor moon merch. Everything from make-up to jewelry to action figures and just small collectors items. I really wished I had purchased some of the decorative pens and compacts. I've never been to another con like it. This convention, while we are in a large city, is not the biggest convention I've been to. I think the coolest booth I found was for Teeturtle. I did find this little simba figuring which Id never seen in real life before. There was another disney 100 one but panicked at the price of both figures together and didn't buy both.

after that my husband wanted to go to a Gun show ('merica!) and I think he was a little disappointed with it. I was just kind of fascinated because it was inside a freemason hall and I'd never been in one before and it was really weird. They didn't have that many guns. They actually had a lot of scentsy and those adhd bubble fidget toy booths haha. I also saw just as many porn books there as I did at the anime convention.

but in any case the weather was actually gorgeous for once. I just enjoyed being out of the house. We also had a post wide yard sale and we drove around a bit looking at items we dont really need. We also stopped at an alterations place to get my ball gown fitted. I procrastinate too much and the dress I was eyeing was out of stock so I just chose..one of the bajillion others I saved on pinterest and it came in the mail within 24hours but alas..I have short legs and its too long.

I have poor sense of time and didn't realize our ball is in like 2 weeks..and now I have to figure out what to do about my hair. Im going to make last minute hair and pedicure appointments..or do what I did the last time and just do everything myself and wonder what I would look like if I was professionally prettied.

also, we went to a baseball game last weekend and my horrible sunburn is starting to peel off. My entire forehead and ears are flaking in small chunks going up into my scalp. Its a lot of fun.

I did film for youtube and I feel like I have enough extra stuff for a life vlog which is everything I listed here so its probably ruined.

also our facility owner apparently hates me again for something he did that I didn't do so I'm yet again counting days of which its appropriate to have a gap in my resume before we move from here.

[whoiwanttoday]

Well guys, here is Janhvi Kapoor because I was bound to post a Kapoor some day. Now, many of you might wonder why that's inevitable and I would tell you it's because if you are going to post Indian Actresses there's like a 50% she's a Kapoor at least by marriage. Which is a joke but for the uninitiated, which I assume is like 95% of my audience here, the Kapoor acting family is so big they have their own wikipedia entry. Go ahead, click and then count up how many names on that page have their own wiki page as well. If you are the sort of person who finds nepo babies frustrating in Hollywood your head is about to explode. Anyway, this is where it gets confusing, she is not part of that Kapoor family but a different Kapoor family (the originator of that Kapoor family was cousins with the originator of this Kapoor family) that still includes 11 people notable enough to have wiki entries because of their roles in the film industry. Also her mom was an actress who I saw on VHS tapes back in the 90's and for the record, also attractive. The attractive thing just comes up because it feels integral. I don't think you get far in Hollywood without looks, at least not as a star, and the same is true in India but maybe even more so. A lot of the biggest names were once Miss India. Anyway, Janhvi came up the other day cause her little sister is acting and I was talking about it and my friend jokingly said, "Well, she's not going to be successful looking like that". Which brought up their mom and also Janhvi who it was proclaimed, "Also won't be successful because she looks like a shriveled up old hag". Jokes aside, all of this lead to me going to see Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani (blink and you'll fucking miss her. Alia Bhatt is in it though, who I have almost posted before and IS married into the bigger Kapoor family) which I had to cut and paste the name of cause it was never happening otherwise. The movie is of note that it was the 10th highest grossing movie in the world two weeks ago even though I am assuming those of you reading this have never heard of it. India has the largest Desporia in the world so get used to this happening more and more. I am all for it. Not all Indian cinema is for me because… duh? Not all American cinema is either. But Indian cinema is vibrant and exciting and the world is richer for it. I have watched so much French Film over the years and some of it is a miss but it also produced movies I deeply love. Other countries getting their movies to us is only a good thing, I am really excited for more Indian cinema showing in our theaters. But I also wanted to point out here is an actress with a famous name, from a famous family, in one of the biggest movies in the world and you probably haven't heard of her. That's always fascinating to me with Indian stars because like a billion people know who they are but they could walk down the street unrecognized here. Fame can be weird like that. So I wanted to share here because it's all so interesting to me plus she's ridiculously beautiful and as a side note @kat-eleven needs to know about her. Assuming she reads this, she might be straight and married to a man in California now. Today I want to fuck Janhvi Kapoor.

[starlitangels]

I Promise

To be clear, I refuse to care about Blake. However, I am deeply fascinated by his relationship with his listener

This one is from Blake’s POV, by the way. And I made up a lot of stuff for the sake of it 1.5k words

—

You sit beside me at the movie theater the way you always do. You smile and laugh at the jokes, glancing at me to make sure I’m sharing in your humor. My mom will come pick us up after the movie the way she always does when we’re out like this. Too young to drive ourselves.

I sit in the dark, smiling in all the right places back at you, but I can’t pay attention to the movie, this time. I already Saw the whole thing the second you decided we were going to come watch it together.

And I think about telling you.

Hell, I think about it all the time. Ever since that day a few years ago when my Core woke up and my entire life got flipped on its head.

I’d expected to be a Dreamwalker, like my mom. Although, being a Freelancer like Dad wouldn’t have been bad either. But, according to one of our teachers at school, a Freelancer-specialist coupling often resulted in the offspring taking the specialty, rather than a Freelancer’s unspecialized magic. For reasons no one particularly understood. Magic was genetic, but it also wasn’t. Not entirely, anyway. And despite hundreds of studies, no one had ever figured out the patterns.

That night, you’d gone home after doing your homework at my place like we did every couple days. I’d been alone in my bedroom, my parents out for the night. Mom to work with her Defensive Dream Design clients, Dad at the Healing hospital.

No one was there for me when my chest burned like fire and the entire timestream opened up before my eyes.

You got your powers a few months before I did—and I’d been jealous. I wanted mine to manifest so badly.

And then when they did, I’d wished they hadn’t. Because of what I was.

The first thing a Seer is supposed to See when their Sight manifests is their own death. But as the timestream hurdled past me toward my death, I saw yours. Way too young. I saw the both of us, older than we are now, in this movie theater. I saw you in my arms, unmoving. Dead. I saw myself sobbing, pleading, begging you to stay with me.

It passed like a flash of lightning on my way to Seeing my own death, but the image was burned into my mind. Like someone tattooed it on the back of my eyelids. Every time I closed my eyes I saw you, dead, in my arms.

I still do.

I can’t let it happen.

And, God, have I tried to stop it. Not even sixteen yet and I’ve already tried setting things in motion that would prevent you from dying.

It hasn’t worked yet. It’s just changed the background of the image and the details of the injuries on your body. But it will work. I refuse to accept otherwise. You’re my best friend, and I’m not letting that go. I’ve never had a friend as close as you are. I can’t lose you.

You grab my arm, jolting me out of my thoughts, as you laugh so hard you bend in half. I manage a chuckle, agreeing that the moment on screen was funny. Even with my mind spiraling far away.

I think about telling you, again.

Would it really be so bad if I told you I’m not actually a Dreamwalker? I’ve never had the courage to peek and See how you’d react to the news. But you’re my best friend—surely you’ll be willing to accept me as I am, right? Even if I have lied to you for a couple years? Hiding their specialty is just what Seers do. Maybe not all of us, but a good portion of us never reveal our true nature. Live and die hiding behind another specialty.

The night my powers manifested, I’d been terrified. And desperately wishing I was just a Dreamwalker. I felt my aura shift, but didn’t realize what it had done until Mom came home the next morning, delighted in announcing I’d inherited her magical specialty.

My parents still don’t know. And neither do you.

I’d rather you know than them, to be honest. I love my parents, but I trust you more than anyone else.

I think about telling you, right here. In the movie theater. In the middle of the comedy you’ve been so excited to see since we first saw the trailer. I think about leaning forward where you’re still bent a bit in your laughter, and just whispering, “I’m not a Dreamwalker. I’m a Seer. And I’ve been hiding because I’ve been scared. But I’m not scared of you.”

But I don’t.

I settle back against the back of my chair and stare blankly at the screen. At the movie I’ve already Seen. Funny enough, I guess. But definitely more aligned with your sense of humor than mine. Ours cross over a lot, but not everything you find funny amuses me, and vice versa.

It’s enough though. And I’ll never turn down the opportunity to spend time with you.

No matter how wracked with guilt I feel every second I lie to you about what I am.

I’m tempted, not for the first time, to See how you’d respond to the truth. A small peek into the future. I can’t imagine you wouldn’t accept me but at the same time I don’t want to destroy your trust.

A problem that I’m fully aware will only amplify the longer I keep the secret from you. But if you never find out... maybe there’s no reason to worry.

But still...

I shake my head to clear it. You glance over at me with a curious look on your face. I shake my head one more time. It’s nothing, the gesture says. Your eyes, so open and trusting, linger on mine for a few moments before drifting back to the movie in acceptance.

I pretend I don’t remember the look of the light in those eyes of yours fading out in dozens of visions. I pretend I don’t see another one of the same vision bubbling up after looking at you for long enough.

God—what am I gonna do? I have to save you. But I don’t know how.

I’ll figure it out. Some way. Somehow. You’re not dying in my arms if I can help it.

I promise.

I care about you too much to let that happen.

—

My emotional state has been an absolute wreck since senior year of high school. That night when my parents weren’t home—again—and you and I...

Well. You call it a mistake. I call it a realization. That my feelings for you have possibly always been more than friendship. Or, at least, at some point they developed a depth I hadn’t known until that night senior year.

And I’d scared you. And you pulled away. And I wanted to be fine with that. But when you finally started to come back into my life, I was scared as my feelings for you hit me again.

And I pulled away.

I never told you that my pulling away was dual-intentioned.

See, I’d started to suspect that I couldn’t do more than change the circumstances of your death because I was still part of your life in those visions. I’m always the common factor.

So I withdrew from your life, trying to change your future. I thought maybe you’d be safe if I was no longer in your life. And you were angry with me when I retreated. You had every right to be and I still don’t blame you.

But if it meant saving your life, I had to try. I could leave, if it meant you’d live.

Months passed. You’d stopped trying to reach out. It broke my heart when you finally gave up on me. When I dared to try to text you and found you’d blocked my number.

Finally, I’d looked into your future again.

And nothing had changed. Just the background and the injuries. You were still dying in my arms. Even without being part of your life anymore.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. Being away from you. I had to come back.

You bless me by accepting me into your life again within a few days. You listen when I explain myself. Everything but that deepest nugget of truth about my magic that I still haven’t told you, more than ten years after the movie theater where I sat there and thought about it for two hours.

But your feelings... they’ve grown to match my own for you. When I kiss you, you let me. When I bend you back over your sofa, you lie down and pull me close.

When we wake up together in your bed, that wrecked emotional state of mine has settled a bit, but still roils.

The need to protect you from that early, untimely death has never been stronger.

Whatever I need to do, I will do it. To keep you safe.

I promise.

[alwaysteveswife]

Back to you | Steve Harrington x Fem! Reader.

Ok, so, this is the first one-shot I upload to tumblr. I'm a bit nervous, mainly because English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance in case something doesn't make sense 🥲.

Four years have passed since the incident with Vecna and the upside down. Many of the group of friends have gone their own way and made their own lives. A series of 'suspicious' events bring everyone back together for the good of Hawkins and the world, and it's Steve's job to go looking for Y/N.

Warnings: a bit of angst, mentions of past relationship with Steve and Y/N, interested parents, and I think that's about it, Reader as a mother.

Number of characters: 6,620

1990, Windsor, Vermont.

Steve sighed, nervously. It was the first time in 4 years he had seen Y/N since the '86 incident. He had traveled over 15 hours to get here, he could no longer regret it.

The house was much bigger than he thought it would be. It was bright red, and the windows were a cottony white color. It looked like a farmhouse, but much more elegant. He was surprised to find such an ostentatious house in such a small town as Woodstock was.

After waiting for about 5 minutes, he knocked on the door.

He knew people were home, the TV was on full blast and he could hear Patrick Swayze's voice coming from it. Surely it was 'Dirty Dancing', he had a feeling it would be the kind of movie Y/N would watch on a regular weekend.

He heard an "I'm coming" that made his heart race. The footsteps came. She was coming down the stairs to open it for him. As the lock began to jingle, Steve began to hesitate about coming. He thought about running and making her think it was just a prank by some naughty local kid, but he had to talk to her, he needed her help.

"Sorry I'm late, I was making the bed" She still wouldn't turn around. Turning down the volume on her TV seemed more important than seeing who her new visitor was.

"Don't worry, you didn't keep me waiting long anyway" Steve's nerves increased as Y/N turned to see him.

Her hair was now just as long as when he first met her, but now it was dyed blonde, similar to what she wore on Halloween '84 for her Sandy Olsson costume. She was thinner, but he could swear she had curves, after all he knew her body very well. He could notice a bit of makeup on her trail, to the naked eye it looked like those colors were part of her skin.

Steve only cursed himself internally when he noticed that neither of them was able to say a word. Nor was he able to look her in the eye. He was afraid that she would notice the characteristic glow that appeared when he saw her and all his feelings would come out.

"Steve" His name came out almost as a gasp of surprise. Y/N would never have thought he would come all the way to her house, not in a million years.

"I'm sorry I came unannounced" he began to shuffle his feet impatiently. "Do you think I could come in?"

She seemed to react, opening the door so Steve could enter. All that time she never took her eyes off him. She admired him with the same fascination as she had six years ago, when they were not yet a couple.

"Can I get you something to drink? It's a long way from Indiana to here" she wiped her hands on her apron, taking it off in embarrassment. "I could make you a coffee or something".

"No, that's okay, just...." Steve sighed, combing his hair back. "I don't want to beat around the bush, okay?"

Y/N just looked down, sighing. She nodded and offered Steve a seat. They were facing each other, both had serious expressions on their faces, neither daring to break the silence.

"He came back".

"Who?" Y/N murmured, confused. She was still processing his presence in the house.

"Vecna, he came back" Steve regretted saying it as soon as he noticed how the girl's face disfigured as her skin paled. "I know very well that coming to your house after four years of being separated is an embarrassment, especially when it comes to a situation like this, but I need you to understand" By this point he had lost any trace of fear. Steve stared at her. He was incapable of turning to look at anything else. "We can't do this without you. We need you," He hesitated a bit before continuing, but finished the sentence, "I need you".

She closed her eyes tightly, sighing. Her fists were white from clenching, and her feet moved restlessly against the floor.

"Steve, I..." She bit the inside of her lip, nervously. "I can't do this".

"Why don't you...?" Before he could speak, a baby's cry could be heard from upstairs in the house.

Y/N quickly got up, running upstairs with Steve behind her. When they entered the last room, a large crib greeted them inside the room. Everything was lilac in color. There were stickers of various sizes pasted on the walls, and a large box of baby toys.

The girl approached the baby, carrying her carefully. She was whispering words like "quiet, sweetie, mommy is here" as she stroked her hair lovingly.

On the other hand, Steve stood completely still in the doorway, watching the scene with an unpleasant mixture of feeling.

"Steve, this is Jessica" she approached him slowly, still holding the baby in her arms. "She was born about 3 months ago" she looked at the crib, smiling "We bought that crib not long ago, we found some ticks on the old one and had to throw it away. I like this one better anyway" She stopped talking when she realized that Steve was staring at her baby "Do you want to hold her?"

He gently took her in his arms when Y/N allowed him to do so. She was small, and extremely beautiful. She had blue eyes and dark hair. He couldn't help but think she looked just like her mother.

It wasn't until then that he noticed the ring on Y/N's hand. She was married.

"I didn't know you had started a family".

She looked down at her ring, grimacing in disgust at the sight of it.

"My parents... they were hard up for money and thought it would be a good idea to marry me off to a creepy old man" She was laughing when she said it, but they both knew what that action hid behind it.

After the baby's crying stopped, the three of them went down to the second floor. Neither wanted to talk, they were no longer able to look at each other, but the desire was there, in both of them.

She waved him goodbye at the door, watching him walk to his car. She tried to convince herself that she was doing the right thing. She tried to stand in the doorway and not go after Steve, but her body was moving on its own, she couldn't control what she did and said. It was now or never.

"Steve!" She grabbed Jessica tightly, preventing her from falling to the floor in her little run to the boy. She spoke again when they were both face to face, three feet away. "Take me with you, please" Her vision was beginning to blur, "I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you" Her words came out barely, punctuated by light sobs. "I don't want to be here anymore".

Steve just hugged her, kissing her head gently. He stroked her hair, hoping to calm her down. He pulled away to look into her eyes.

"Go get your things, we're leaving now".

Masterlist

[rjwhite]

That's the Day I Throw my Drugs Away

The Morphine album Cure for Pain came out 30 years ago, on September 14, 1993. A few years back, I was on this music review mailing list, where each member had to take a turn writing about an album of great importance to them. This was mine.

Ever since I was a kid, cities always held a fascination for me. I was not well-traveled, growing up in the middle of Michigan. The idea of being in some cosmopolitan, dense, East Coast metropolis was amazing to me, yet it took until well into college to even head out there, for a college television conference in Providence in 1996. We made the drive from Michigan State University, cut across Canada in the dead of night to spend a day in Boston, then head down to Providence in rush hour traffic. Checked into the hotel and one of the people in our group asked who was playing in town. Morphine at Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel. A friend said we absolutely had to go, as the band was amazing. I’d never heard of them, but went along because, hey, a concert in an actual, real city and everything, you know?

A loud club with cheap beer. Lots of people crowded in. The band came on. It was one of those weird things you always remember. These guys were on stage- not young, one of them playing a bass with only two strings? The one guy playing two saxes at once? The lead singer going into some beat poetry? What was this? I’d never seen or heard anything like it. My mind exploded. The band, the crowd, everything was in sync. Leaving the club, being downtown in an old, established city- the whole weekend of experiencing something I’d built up for so long … it just cemented that I needed to be in a place like that. I needed to live somewhere with history, vitality.

We got back to East Lansing and one of the first things I did that week was go to Flat, Black and Circular (still one of the best record shops I’ve ever been lucky enough to shop) and pick up Cure for Pain. It wasn’t even the album they were touring for (Like Swimming). I think Cure for Pain was the first one I saw in the rack? But it grabbed me and entranced me and hooked me for life. I listened and listened and listened. This incredible, smooth, wonderful mix of I don’t know what- jazz? Rock? Stories of cheating and sleaziness and sadness and loss and regret?

It’s just a wonderful thing to just discover a band you had no idea existed and instantly be taken with them. To feel that connection you never knew was there and somehow know you’ll be listening to them for a good, long while. It’s almost like falling in love with someone, you know?

I just always associate the album with that time and it’s all smashed together in my head, making that absolutely certain decision that, someway, somehow, I was going to live on the East Coast, in an honest-to-god city where I could go to places like Lupo’s and see bands like Morphine for the first time.

Now, I live in Philadelphia and never go to shows!

Though the odd, strange miracle of the internet, I’m able to hear a bootleg of that very night, knowing that 21-year-old RJ is in that crowd somewhere, just happy and dumbfounded by what he is hearing and utterly enjoying being in that moment.

I don’t know if I can hear myself in there, though. That might be too strange, like thinking of the dead people in the repeated laugh tracks of old sitcoms.

But, the record! Just a pleasure to listen to, front to back.

“Dawna” and “Buena” kicking it off… “I’m Free Now” as a sad, incredible post-breakup song where you feel like that terrible jerk who’s made a bad mistake (I'm free now to direct a movie/Sing a song or write a book about yours truly/How I'm so interesting I'm so great I'm really just a fuck-up/And It's such a waste to burn down these walls around me)... That delicate mandolin of “In Spite of Me”... The barrelling train of “Mary Won’t You Call My Name”... That jazzy, smoky rambling of “Let’s Take a Trip Together”... “Thursday” is almost a short film, with the wenching title track slamming you right after… all of it...

July 3 will mark the anniversary of Morphine frontman Mark Sandman’s death from a heart attack in the midst of a 1999 concert in Europe. If you could throw this (or anything from their wonderful catalog, really) on, I think that would be nice.

Anyway, that's why I love this 30-year-old record and this band. Listen to it wherever you can, it's a hell of a beautiful thing.

[virtie333]

Day 16 - Life Day Damerey Celebration

Prompt: Siblings

Summary: A day in the life of the Dameron family

Notes: Almost four years ago, I wrote my first Damerey story, Rising. Shortly afterwards, the Pandemic began, so I decided that while I had the time I might as well continue that story, and a whole series began. Rey's Adventures Post TRoS is still my longest series to date, and it followed Rey and Poe and their life for many, many years after the movies. I knew eventually I'd end up writing about them again, and this little short story proved me right.

You don't have to read that series to enjoy this little ficlet, just know that Rey trains Jedi, Poe is still in charge of the Resistance, and they keep pumping out the babies. They had eight by the end of the series! They're only half-way there here.

Warnings: Not really, other than me writing Poe as the perfect husband and father as usual...

AO3

“What is going on here?” Rey demanded as she entered the room. After a busy morning, she had finally been able to sit down and work on the scheduling for the coming week. She hadn’t gotten very far before the sound of her two youngest boys fighting in the next room had distracted her.

Skyler and Samuel were pummeling each other rather comedically, but stopped and looked up at her when she spoke, both looking rather guilty.

“Who started this?” Rey asked her two boys, looking around for their older sister, who was supposed to be with them.

“He hit back first!” Sam said, his little arms folded in front of him.

Somehow, Rey managed not to laugh. Three-year-old Samuel was as naughty as he was cute. He was too much like his father. She looked at six-year-old. “Skyler?” she said, eyebrows raised in expectation.

“I didn’t mean to hit him!” Sky defended. “He was reaching for a brick just as I grabbed for another one. My hand hit his arm.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter how it started,” Rey told them. “Neither of you should have hit back.” She looked around again. “Where’s your sister?”

The two boys shrugged, immediately going back to playing with the toy bricks on the floor in front of them. Typical, she thought. Overly dramatic one moment, then suddenly focused on something different the next.

Just like their father.

Shaking her head, she left the room and moved to the front door. She opened it, feeling the desert heat of Tatooine flow inside. For her, it wasn’t a bad feeling. Despite griping about once again living on a hot, dry planet, Rey preferred it to cold winters on Kolbe, their previous home. She saw movement off to the right, by Finn’s house, and lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. She could see the familiar form of her husband walking across the sands, heading for the workshop. He was being trailed by two smaller forms, his daughter and his droid.

She slipped back inside the house, content knowing Shaina was with her father. Rey hadn’t seen the eight-year-old girl leave, but she had been distracted. She would talk with her daughter about not leaving without letting Rey know later. This desert was easy to get lost in, and while Shaina was already becoming comfortable with using the Force that came so easily to her, she was still a child.

Rey was about to sit down again when a soft whine came from the bedroom. Giving a soft sigh of her own, she stood and headed toward the cry. Baby Shiloh, not quite ten months old, was sitting up in her crib, looking flushed and confused. Rey knew the feeling; she felt that way after naps, too. As Shi raised her arms, asking to be picked up, the two boys ran into the room. They were fascinated with their little sister and were always asking to hold and play with her.

“Can Shiloh play with us, Mama?”

“She always tries to eat the bricks but we stop her.”

Rey smiled at them as she picked the baby up. “Shiloh needs her diaper changed and then she needs to eat, then we’ll see if she wants to play. Okay?”

“Okay,” the boys said in tandem, then they turned back to the sitting room to continue with their play.

Once the baby was changed, Rey moved back to the kitchen to continue working while she nursed. Because she was so busy teaching, Rey weaned her babies off the breast when they were about three months old. They usually took to the bottle easily, as their father usually started feeding them that way when they were only a couple of weeks old, but Shiloh had been a little tougher to transition, and even now she made attempts to open Rey’s shirt. Poe teased her about it, telling her that he, too, thought Rey’s tits were irresistible.

As if her thought conjured him, Poe entered the front door, Shaina, BB8, and a wave of heat following him.

“Your daughter thinks I should rearrange the workshop,” he said as he closed the door behind his entourage. “She thinks I did it wrong.”

Rey smirked. “Your daughter left the house without telling me,” Rey countered. “Her brothers started fighting because she wasn’t there to keep the peace.”

“Keeping the peace is boring!” Shaina griped as she sat next to her mother at the table. “And so are my brothers.”

Rey snorted a laugh as Poe moved to the cooling chamber and pulled out some juice. He looked back at Rey, eyebrows raised in question, and Rey nodded. Poe proceeded to pour five glasses.

“Boys,” Rey called out. “Come have some juice.”

Sky and Sam came skipping in, sitting around the table as Poe distributed the drinks, then he sat down himself. For the short time it took them to drink it was mostly quiet, but all too soon the children started picking at each other again.

Rey looked at Poe, who was watching her. “Did you get the schedule done?” he asked.

Rey glanced at the kids, then back at him. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s time for everyone to come out to the shop and help Shaina and I rearranged it,” he said with a grin. He stood and reached for Shiloh, who had stopped nursing long ago and was watching her siblings curiously. The baby reached back for him with a smile. “Come on, guys! You, too, BB8!”

With a wink, Poe headed back out into the Tatooine heat with all four of their children.

The silence was deafening.

Smiling, Rey got to work on the schedule.