#i seriously need to study how am i to be a historians with this kind of behavior

[is-it-bussin-hannibal]

okay so,, I don't know if i have it in me to write a whole fic, but i needed to get this slightly dark Paul out of my head

Paul is married off to Feyd the second Feyd is of age (which avoids the attack on Arrakis yadayada as Feyd, alongside Paul, will inherent Arrakis, everybody wins). At first, obviously, the boys don't like each other very much, they're two teenagers, but they're also of noble birth, it's their duty, and Paul is bene gesserit, his whims have no place here. Feyd tends to ignore his husband most of the time, but he sleeps in the same bed, sometimes he'll stay in their rooms while Paul read or draws, somethings he really just stays there, quiet, sometimes he will engage in an activity of his own, they're practically parallel playing, sometimes he'll excise, and Paul will quietly join him. Paul knows he could seduce him, but there's just something about Feyd, how he avoids physical contact, how he'll move an inch away when approached, he's very mistrustful, and Paul respects that. It only infuriated him a "bit" when he found out Lady Fenring seduced his husband, and he knew why. Still, Feyd willingly spends time around him, and he doesn't do that to anyone else, and that means something.

Living in Geidi Prime proves to be a chore, it's harsh and cold and empty. Paul has observing as his form of distraction, right away he understands the power balance here, he understands why things happen the way they do, he sees the Baron for what he is, he also starts to understands Feyd the longer he stays with him. Paul never had anyone his age around, granted, but he also never had anyone match his wits, and he's delighted with how smart Feyd is. From what he learned with the bene gesserit, his husband was a animal, aggressive and not particularly intelligent, like his brother but stronger, he thought his marriage would be just taming a beast, like he was trained to do, dull and uncomfortable. But oh, what a delicious surprise!! Feyd managed to deceive the witches, made this mask of a monster, but of course, no one can get close enough to see through it. Paul does, like a bad dog, Feyd-Rautha bites when threatened. And soon Paul realizes, that everything here is a threat to Feyd, and has been since he can remember, the biggest threat? the Baron. He feels sorry for his husband, but he knows that would not please Feyd, and Feyd made the effort to be around him, because for some reason, he decided to stay with him for life and not just, kill him, and he's happy with that, so he does his best to show Feyd what a family is, because now they're family.

Paul sets for old fashioned childlike friend making instead of bene gesserit seduction. He talks to Feyd, even though Feyd does not respond, tell him things, sometimes random things, sometimes important things about himself, just to make conversation, to guide Feyd. The Na-Baron is very confused at first, but he listens, Paul urges him to speak too, he doesn't really knows what to say, but in time, he starts making comments about things here and there, like he's seen Paul do, which seems to please Paul. They create a routine. He annoys Feyd enough that the older has no option but let him do whatever he wants, and what he wants? to know Feyd, to be his friend. Feyd is not really familiar with the concept, he has his pets of course, but they're just one of the twisted mentat's failed experiments. The girls are beautiful but with the intelligence of a doberman. They were given to him as mock, but his pets suppressed expectations in his hands. Paul doesn't mind them at first, they scare him but it's nothing he can't deal with. He knows Feyd loves them, he usually doesn't show soft emotions, not here, never here, but Paul just knows, he can feel it. So he approaches the girls, he has heard all kinds of horrible things about the Na-Baron's harem of cannibals, but that's just what they are. They were born cannibals, they need human meat, Feyd is a gladiator, he keeps the girls fed, nothing else. For the world it looks sadistic and evil, adding to Feyd-Rautha's lore, from up close, it's really what Feyd can show of compassion. Gretel, Mischa and Niobe, they can't talk, but they're smart, Paul teaches them some sign language. Feyd is more than impressed, the girls usually don't let themselves be approached by strangers, but Paul won them over, especially Niobe, she's the one more taken by his little husband, follows him around and is eager to communicate, even started to sleep by his bed. Feyd asks to learn sign language too, of course, he also wants to communicate better with the girls. Paul can explode with happiness, something else to bond over!!! They're already have fighting, flying and Paul noticed the dedication Feyd has with his looks and decides to match him. It takes hard work, but Feyd starts to relax around Paul. He also understands Paul is his equal, just as intelligent, just as resilient, he can see Paul and Paul can see him. He's still hesitant, like a wild animal who was kept in a cage too long, but he's getting there and that's okay for Paul, he'll teach his husband, feelings are hard and Feyd never learned to deal with them besides bottling them up and attacking first, but now Paul is here, they are friends.

Enough spice in the food has enhanced his perception, he noted, and easily enough, he knows who he is, what he is, not just a Harkonnen by marriage but by blood. He can feel it now, in the back of his conscience, that thing that have always flown through his blood but he could never name it, hedonism. His sheltered, kinda repressed, life in Caladan makes him a little angry, all he has been denied and for what?. The Baron obviously takes a like for him, and he understands why, he also understands why Feyd seems uncomfortable, almost disgusted with it, and he too, feels a little thrown off by it, but he's bene gesserit, he uses it.

No reason to tiptoe aroud it, Paul calls him grandpa, which just makes the Baron happier with him. He stays at the Baron's side, sits with him in his floating device, talks about whatever the Baron wants, let's his thick hands linger, he gains advantages over the fat man. Soon enough, he's included in the important conversations. Even though the old man is a disgusting creature, Paul sees he's also very intelligent, and even learns a thing or two from the Baron. His grandfather is more than happy to dress him up in the most expensive fabrics, parade him around like a trophy, and Paul does the Baron's biding because yes, he's the most disgusting man in the galaxy but boy, he sure knows what he's doing, and he's got to make the most out of his situation. He knows his family would be outraged to see the Duke's son like this, in the Baron's lap, laughing, clinging to him, whispering in his ear a thing or two he noticed about the nobles around them. But Paul is not just the Duke's son, he's bene gesserit, he has the power here, he's a mentat, he's doing this for the advantages, he's Harkonnen, he's doing this because he can, because it's his birthright.

Paul noticed how Feyd would tense up in the Baron's presence, how he hated to be touched by anyone but held very still anytime it was necessary, he noticed Feyd would cover his body head to toe when he had the choice, only socially he would be showing skin, enchanting everyone around him like a good showman, and Paul knew he hated it, he knew he was doing what he was taught to do, to be a good boy and entertain. Maybe after a while he ever got a taste for that, not enough to enjoy having skin showing around the Baron, but enough to do it effortlessly.

After so much time around the Baron, Paul learned he did, in fact, have strong Harkonnen blood running through his veins. He enjoys power, he enjoys lavishness, he is very much a hedonist. The bene gesserit training served him well, but he saw through them now, he would not do their bidding, especially after learning what they did to Feyd, setting a trigger word that would render him paralyzed, "for safety" they said, it makes his blood boil. Taking away Feyd's agency, making him vulnerable, he knows those are Feyd's biggest fears, oh how he would snap those witches necks with his bare hands, maybe he will if they ever get too close to his husband. Let them think he tamed the beast, let them think of him as a beast, that keeps him safe, and Paul learned from Feyd, add fuel to the fire if it's working for you.

His training from his old masters also served him well, but now that his grandfather included him in real talks about the imperium he knows there's no such thing as morally better or whatnot, if anything, his father was not very smart, leading with his heart and training with repression. He loves his family dearly, but the world is so much bigger now, and out of everyone, is the Baron teaching him. His sees now, his mother is a Harkonnen like any other, hungry for power, he cannot see how love would blind such a powerful woman, that's why she defied the sisterhood, why she tried to make him a boy, the one. He wonders how different things would be if she had been raised by her father, maybe she would be like himself now.

Like the Baron, he thought of Feyd as "his", differently from the Baron, he would NEVER hurt him, and that's how he distance himself from that man, he can not stand the thought of Feyd being hurt, and he will do whatever it takes to protect his husband, his friend. He knows Feyd initially was angry at him for this behavior, withdrawing from him, he couldn't understand why Paul would let the Baron touch him, knowing what he knew, knowing what he did to Feyd, how could he be fine with that, was he that much like his grandfather? it was revolting to him. And at first, Feyd thought his husband was stealing his thunder, then, he thought his husband was giving himself for free. It took a while for Feyd to realized that with Paul gliding around the room in his pretty, expensive clothes the Baron chose for him, nobody, especially the Baron, minded him. He could wear the clothes he was comfortable with, no one cared, he didn't need to say a word to anyone, all eyes were on Paul, the sweet, pretty grandson of the Baron Harkonnen. He felt it, Paul was doing this for him, no one was going to touch him, no one was going to be all over him, he wasn't going to be forced to perform, the Baron would not hurt him, not under the little witch boy's spell. Paul was also safe from the people around them, Feyd was a plaything until he started to bite back, but no one would touch the Baron's arm candy, the Baron's only grandson. Feyd is as close to free as he could ever be, thanks to Paul, he almost can't keep it in his chest, the dukling likes him so much he is willingly at the Baron's side, knowing that his family will not be happy with that. No one had ever protected Feyd before, maybe his mother once, but he couldn't really remember. And like that, he trusts Paul, and maybe that's what love feels like. Paul knows what loves is, he was loved from his first breath, and when he sees it in the Na-Baron's eyes, directed at him, he feels complete.

In the early days of their marriage, when Feyd was very skittish around him, and would not touch him, Paul thought of many things, maybe the Na-Baron didn't find him attractive? or maybe he was repulsed by sex altogether, odd, considering what he learned about Geidi Prime and Harkonnen culture. Maybe he was impotent? no, the sisters would've told him that, they wouldn't jeopardize the way for an heir. That wouldn't do, they needed an heir to secure this union and Feyd unwillingness to touch him as unbecoming.

One day, during their training session, Paul was wearing a short blouse that would ride up with every move, he caught the older boy's eyes lingering on his frame, he said nothing, Feyd also said nothing. Then Paul noticed his struggle to move, the Na-Baron's pants had become tight, the duckling smiled to himself, so he was attracted to him after all, and he clearly could get it up, so what was the issue?. One day, Paul used the Voice on Feyd, they were wrestling, he thought it would be funny to get the upper hand like that, and a good way to let Feyd know of his abilities. He was wrong, Feyd moved so fast way from him, it was as if he used the Voice to tell him that and not "down". He looked terrified for a moment before he caught himself, still away from Paul as he got up. Paul felt so bad, he understood why Feyd was terrified, Feyd hated not having control over his own body, more than hate, he feared that. Paul explaind he only wanted Feyd to know he could do it, told him he would NEVER use the Voice on him again, apologized profoundly. Feyd acknowledged his explanation but was very surprised by the apology, he liked it, Paul could tell. He decided to show what a pinky promise was, and made a promise with Feyd. Feyd-Rautha was quite happy with that.

They had become more comfortable with each other over the weeks, they held hands and hug every once in a while. Paul would have vison nightmares sometimes, other times Feyd would have nightmares, after calming down they would just hug until they fell asleep again, Feyd was getting found of hugs. Paul even got a kiss! the only other time they kissed was at their wedding and Feyd did as fast as he could.

One day, while they were laying in bed, just enjoying the other's company, Feyd asked, out of nowhere, if he would use the Voice on someone else. Paul took a while to respond that yes, if he needed, he would, he saw something shine in Feyd's eyes, he couldn't tell-- "you're very powerful" Feyd said, not blinking, looking directly at him, breathing heavily, and oh, that's it, Feyd is not only attracted to him, he's also attracted to power. Paul then decided to show how much he appreciated his husband by giving him power over himself. Feyd, unlike him, was experienced, forced to perform, then acquired a taste for it, for taking back. Paul knew what he was taught as a bene gesserit and what his grandfather had shown him in filmbooks but nothing felt like giving in to Feyd, not having to be the one in control all the time, just letting go, he trusted Feyd, knew he would never hurt him, and Feyd trusted Paul to never force him to do anything. They were a united front now.

[sins-of-the-sea]

//With the rise of junk history and plagiarism all over, it's really important to not just be vigilant of sources, but to really take integrity seriously. We've come to a point where the annoying practices of citing sources in school papers need to be done even in something as simple as a youtube video. This isn't just to cover your back and make you look less like a liar and a hack. It's also because historical integrity is so very important in trying to debunk myths and false beliefs that still linger today.

You have no idea, for example, when I research history of a certain demographic, especially history that is supposedly suppressed, only for the people responsible for it to not just make shit up out of their asses, but also erase actual history of people involved. Can you imagine how not only disappointing learning about that is, but now you now are questioning if anything else you learned about that demographic is real?

This is how I feel about not just pirate history, but history of certain demographics like race, gender, queer studies, and so forth. Thankfully Cappn and I are writing fiction, so some liberties are deliberately taken for the sake of aesthetic, fun, drama, etc. But we are very mindful of where liberties are taken and which ones we're okay with discarding for the sake of realism. Giving Josep 1600s riders boots ("pirate boots") is a deliberate liberty. Having him possess 1930s racist ideals is not.

Sure, I use wikipedia a lot, but I only use them as a starting point (as they usually have sources to follow more directly); thankfully my time as a data collector in the university has taught me how to spot questionable sources. But that is just collecting data on people of a population sample in the present. I'm not a historian. So I gotta do what I can with what's available... especially if certain articles are behind a paywall.

What I am saying is... please be careful of junk history. We still have people celebrating Christopher Columbus as the one to discover America. And we know there are.... certain individuals trying their damnest to bring eugenics back. Please be mindful. Take what you read with a grain of salt. Listen to the actual experiences of people who lived a time and place. And please be kind.

[misscrawfords]

☕️ and historical accuracy in period dramas?

Been thinking about this on and off all day because it's quite complex. On the one hand, I don't care because no drama is ever truly accurate. On the other hand, I'm pernickety and fussy and get really annoyed about certain things. So...

I think if I were to try and sum up my feelings, it would be that I am not a historian and therefore I am not overly educated about exactly what is and isn't accurate but I do care a lot about internal consistency within a drama and, if it's an adaptation of a novel, that it is a faithful and interesting adaptation of that novel.

I think pure historical accuracy complaints can be quite problematic. They can be used to be racist - "there were no black people in Regency England!" - I mean, that's just not true. What is considered "accuracy" is in fact not accurate at all! Or sexist - "the Medieval period [itself a very wide ranging and diverse period historically and geographically] was a terrible time to be a woman and we just have to include lots of graphic rape scenes because it's being accurate, nothing we can do, sorry, we care so much about accuracy". This isn't about accuracy at all, it's about perpetuating a false vision of the past which fits with personal prejudices.

I guess I'd like more period dramas that were genuinely historically accurate - that present Medieval England as colourful and vibrant and intellectually buzzing and interestingly religious. That explores a wider range of identities in the Regency period than the world of Jane Austen's books. (And there is SO much out there to adapt that is not Austen... And I love Austen. But seriously.) You zone into any year in history in any location and guaranteed it's more weird and wonderful and diverse than anything you previously imagined.

So I don't think any adaptation really gets it right, historically speaking. It always presents history through a lens which often says more about the makers of the drama and their target audience than the history itself.

However, some things really annoy me. My main bugbear is the hair thing. And, like, fine if you're going to not care at all about any kind of relation to historical hair styling, but when 95% of your cast has really decent looking ringlets or whatever, but your ingenue heroine has her hair down and looks like she's never heard of a hairbrush just to signify her ~innocence or whatever, it really gets me. It's such lazy visual storytelling and it takes me out of the drama because I'm immediately thinking, "If I were walking along a cliff in a stiff wind, I'd be tying my hair back - isn't it annoying having it blow in your mouth all the time???" or "All your sisters have their hair up, why are you standing out? Why is nobody complaining about this?" So that really does annoy me a lot. And it doesn't even look good. That sort of hair looks a MESS. But it's more the poor look and inconsistency within the film and how dull a characterisation technique it is that pisses me off, than the accuracy because tbqh I have never studied historical hair styling so I don't really know the details.

Also costumes - if you are supposedly setting a drama in a particular year or period and you are taking some effort with costumes, then there needs to be consistency! (I don't mean that if a character is poor or old-fashioned then they shouldn't wear appropriate clothes) but you shouldn't have your heroine where a dress from 1815 one day and 1786 another! Emma 2020 is a brilliant example of how you can make amazing, consistent costumes and still be a very modern adaptation. Mr Malcolm's List also did a great job. So when adaptations don't bother because they're too edgy or whatever, then I have a low opinion of them because you can have high standards and be fun and modern and successful.

Similar to speech and dialogue. It all depends. If you're creating a fantasy version of the past (like Bridgerton), it's one thing, but if you are adaptating something from that period and doing a serious adaptation, then you need to take your source material seriously.

tl;dr: don't be Persuasion 2022. What an insulting pile of garbage that was on every front. The cast deserved better!

Send me a ☕️+ a topic and I'll give you my opinion!

[cyoc49]

Model Student

The clock was at 9:55 as I walked into my World History lecture. There were several students around me who had arrived early and were already set up. I made my way to one of the seats, got my stuff out, and at 10 AM sharp Prof. Elwyn began to lecture. I’ll admit, for a gen ed history professor, he had made these first few weeks of class pretty enjoyable. He was the type of guy who knew a lot of stuff about the history of the world, and was eager to share his accumulated knowledge with us. The type of professor who almost seemed on another level with his smarts. At the very least, he made taking history as a college junior bearable.

“Today, class, we’ll be talking about the earliest days of civilization,” he began, “the time known as ‘Before the Current Era’. What’s interesting about this period is that due to the relative lack of artefacts and documents, historians have to be creative in how they construct understandings of what the people of these times were like. This is why studying history is so important: those who truly understand history can control the narrative of how humans lived. It’s almost as if-”

Prof. Elwyn’s lecture was then interrupted, as it had been the last few weeks, as Manny strolled in ten minutes late and dropped into the back of the classroom, playing music on his phone and slurping on the end of a Big Gulp soda.

Manny and I were in the same grade, and throughout my time here he had always been a pretty bad student. He was always late to class (on those days when he attended), and I don’t think I had ever seen him do homework. He preferred to hang out with his group of friends, usually going out to the bar rather than doing any kind of studying.

He didn’t bother me too much (it wasn’t my tuition he was wasting, after all), but when he got in the way of professors doing their job like today, it was hard to ignore how much of a jackass he was.

Prof. Elwyn sighed as Manny came in, and simply stared at him while he caused this scene. After a few moments, Prof. Elwyn calmly but firmly asked “Manny, please turn off that music.” Manny obliged, but took his sweet time to hit pause.

Prof. Elwyn continued “This is the third time this week you’ve arrived late and caused a scene. You’re interfering with your fellow students’ ability to learn, and that’s not fair to them. If you’re going to remain in this class, I’m going to need to see improvement in your behavior.”

Manny scoffed, putting his feet up on the desk. “Dude, you really think this class is important enough for you to be demanding shit from me? This is a fucking gen ed, nobody wants to be here. Let me sit back, get my C, and go on with my day.”

One of the students closer to the front spoke up “He’s always been like this, Professor, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, shut up!” Manny angrily retorted.

Prof. Elywn let out another sigh at Manny’s reaction “I really do see the makings of a great student in you, if you actually tried. If only your history had been different.”

And without saying another word, Prof Elwyn raised his right hand and snapped.

  The clock was at 9:55 as I walked into my World History lecture. There were several students around me who had arrived early and were already set up. One of them, currently at the front of the class turning in his homework, was Manuel. As I settled into my seat, I noticed he seemed to be having a good-natured conversation with the professor about something relating to Ancient Egypt. That didn’t surprise me; Manuel and I had been going to school together for 3 years, and he had to be one of the smartest and hardest working guys on campus. You pretty much had to in order to be an International Business and Finance double major like he was. It was clear he took college a lot more seriously than half the people here. To be fair, you could probably guess that just by looking at him: he dressed nicely for class every single day. I don’t think I had ever seen him without a collared shirt and dress pants. His hair was always combed nicely and he almost always had a textbook or two in hand.

We weren’t close friends, but we were friendly. He was nice to pretty much everyone, always willing to share answers and help people learn the material. He did seem like he had a bit of a stick up his ass sometimes, but that was just to do with how seriously he took school. Every time we were paired up for a group project, I knew we would get an A. That was reason enough to like him.

“I finished that book you recommended about the pharaohs of the Fourth Dynasty. I had never learned about Menkaure like that before!” I heard Manuel say to Prof. Elwyn.

“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it! If you’re interested in the rest of the series, stop by my office. I have a few of the books and you’re more than welcome to borrow them.” Prof. Elwyn responded.

“Will do!” Manuel beamed. He noticed the clock had hit 10:00, and he returned to his seat in the front row with his notebook set up, including no fewer than five different colored highlighters.

“Today, class,  we’ll be talking about the earliest days of civilization,” Prof. Elwyn began his lecture, “the time known as ‘Before the Current Era’. And studying this period is one of my favorite things to do, because historians use such creative methods to tell the story ancient civilizations. Those who truly understand history can control the narrative of how these people lived.”

He gave us all a knowing smile “And believe me, that’s quite the power to have.”

He opened a PowerPoint and continued on with the lecture. I intermittently took notes, trying to keep up as best I could. If nothing else, I knew I could ask Manuel for his notes after class. I had seen that guy’s notebook before, and Jesus. It could probably qualify as an encyclopedia. It was nice having at least one good student in the classroom.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi, I’ve been tasked with researching Richard Plantagenet for a paper and thus far found extremely negative accounts of the king, his religious bigotry being a reoccurring theme (his treatment of Jewish dignitaries attending his coronation and his reasoning to join the third crusade etc)

I stumbled across your wonderful tag for Richard at the weekend and wondered if you wouldn’t mind sharing your informed opinion of Richard and his views on religions ? Your writing seems very well balanced regarding his attributes and flaws. Thanks :)

Oof. Okay. So, a short and simple question, then?

Quick note: when I was first reading your ask and saw "Richard Plantagenet," I briefly assumed that you meant Richard Plantagenet, father of Edward IV, or perhaps Richard III, both from the Wars of the Roses in the fifteenth century, before seeing from context that you meant Richard I. While "Plantagenet" was first used as an informal appellation by Richard I's grandfather, Geoffrey of Anjou, it wasn't until several centuries later that the English royal house started to use it consistently as a surname. So it's not something that Richard I would have been really called or known by, even if historians tend to use it as a convenient labeling conceit. (See: the one thousand popular histories on "The Plantagenets" that have been published recently.)

As for Richard I, he is obviously an extremely complex and controversial figure for many reasons, though one of the first things that you have to understand is that he has been mythologized and reinvented and reinterpreted down the centuries for many reasons, especially his crusade participation and involvement in the Robin Hood legends. When you're researching about Richard, you're often reading reactions/interpretations of that material more than anything specifically rooted in the primary sources. And while I am glad that you asked me about this and want to encourage you to do so, I will gently enquire to start off: when you say "research," what kind of materials are you looking at, exactly? Are these actual published books/papers/academic material, or unsourced stuff on the internet written from various amateur/ideological perspectives and by people who have particular agendas for depicting Richard as the best (or as is more often the case, worst) ever? Because history, to nobody's surprise, is complicated. Richard did good things and he also did quite bad things, and it's difficult to reduce him to one or the other.

Briefly (ha): I'll say just that if a student handed me a paper stating that Richard was a religious bigot because a) there were anti-Jewish riots during his coronation and b) he signed up for the Third Crusade, I would seriously question it. Medieval violence against the Jews was an unfortunately endemic part of crusade preparations, and all we know about Richard's own reaction is that he fined the perpetrators harshly (repeated after a similar March 1190 incident in York) and ordered for them to be punished. Therefore, while there famously was significant anti-Semitic violence at his coronation, Richard himself was not the one who instigated it, and he ordered for the Londoners who did take part in it to be punished for breaking the king's peace.

This, however, also doesn't mean that Richard was a great person or that he was personally religiously tolerant. We don't know that and we often can't know that, whether for him or anyone else. This is the difficulty of inferring private thoughts or beliefs from formal records. This is why historians, at least good historians, mostly refrain from speculating on how a premodern private individual actually thought or felt or identified. We do know that Richard likewise also made a law in 1194 to protect the Jews residing in his domains, known as Capitula Judaeis. This followed in the realpolitik tradition of Pope Calixtus II, who had issued Sicut Judaeis in c. 1120 ordering European Christians not to harass Jews or forcibly convert them. This doesn't mean that either Calixtus or Richard thought Jews were great, but they did choose a different and more pragmatic/economic way of dealing with them than their peers. This does not prove "religious bigotry" and would need a lot more attention as an analytical concept.

As for saying that the crusades were motivated sheerly by medieval religious bigotry, I'm gonna have to say, hmm, no. Speaking as someone with a PhD in medieval history who specialised in crusade studies, there is an enormous literature around the question of why the crusades happened and why they continue to hold such troubling attraction as a pattern of behavior for the modern world. Yes, Richard went on crusade (as did the entire Western Latin world, pretty much, since 1187 and the fall of Jerusalem was the twelfth century's 9/11). But there also exists material around him that doesn't exist around any other crusade leader, including his extensive diplomatic relations with the Muslims, their personal admiration for him, his friendship with Saladin and Saladin's brother Saif al-Din, the fact that Arabic and Islamic sources can be more complimentary about Richard than the Christian records of his supposed allies, and so forth. I think Frederick II of Sicily, also famous for his friendly relationships with Muslims, is the only other crusade leader who has this kind of material. So however he did act on crusade, and for whatever reasons he went, Richard likewise chose the pragmatic path in his interactions with Muslims, or at least the Muslim military elite, than just considering them all as religious barbarians unworthy of his time or attention.

The question of how the crusades functioned as a pattern of expected behavior for the European Christian male aristocrat, sometimes entirely divorced from any notion of his private religious beliefs, is much longer and technical than we can possibly get into. (As again, I am roughly summarising a vast and contentious field of academic work for you here, so... yes.) Saying that the crusades happened only because medieval people were all religious zealots is a wild oversimplification of the type that my colleague @oldshrewsburyian and I have to deal with in our classrooms, and likewise obscures the dangerous ways in which the modern world is, in some ways, more devoted to replicating this pattern than ever. It puts it beyond the remit of analysis and into the foggy "Dark Ages hurr durr bad" stereotype that drives me batty.

Weighted against this is the fact that Richard obviously killed many Muslims while on crusade, and that this was motivated by religious and ideological convictions that were fairly standard for his day but less admirable in ours. The question of how that violence has been glorified by the alt-right people who think there was nothing wrong with it at all and he should have done more must also be taken into account. Richard's rise to prominence as a quintessentially English chivalrous hero in the nineteenth century, right when Britain was building its empire and needed to present the crusades as humane and civilizing missions abroad rather than violent and generally failed attempts at forced conversion and conquest, also problematized this. As noted, Richard was many things, but... not that, and when the crusades fell out of fashion again in the twentieth century, he was accordingly drastically villainized. Neither the superhero or the supervillain images of him are accurate, even if they're cheap and easy.

The English nationalists have a complicated relationship with Richard: he represents the ideal they aspire to, aesthetically speaking, and the kind of anti-immigrant sentiment they like to put in his mouth, which is far more than the historical Richard actually displayed toward his Muslim counterparts. (At least, again, so far as we can know anything about his private beliefs, but this is what we can infer from his actions in regard to Saladin, who he deeply respected, and Saladin's brother.) But he was also thoroughly a French knight raised and trained in the twelfth-century martial tradition, his concern for England was only as a minor part of the sprawling 'Angevin empire' he inherited from his father Henry II (which is heresy for the Brexit types who think England should always be the center of the world), and his likely inability to speak English became painted as a huge character flaw. (Notwithstanding that after the Norman Conquest in 1066, England did not have a king who spoke English natively until Henry IV in 1399, but somehow all those others don't get blamed as much as Richard.)

Anyway. I feel as if it's best to stop here. Hopefully this points you toward the complexity of the subject and gives you some guidelines in doing your own research from here. :)

[vickyvicarious]

do u have any atla fic recs? all time faves? can be shippy or not

Fun fact, I am incapable of holding back on reclists. In other words: brace yourself, anon. There’s a reason I put most of this behind a cut.

First off, these are almost all Zuko-centric, because I shamelessly play favorites. I’ll sort them by author rec, gen, shippy, and then by other characters because honestly the numbers break down well that way. Within those categories it’ll be more just as I think of it, so no special meaning to the order. I’m not always good about bookmarking even my faves, so some excellent stuff will no doubt be missing, especially since I haven’t read a lot of the more recent stuff yet/forgot some really old stuff, but this will definitely still give you plenty of fic to enjoy.

There’s a good number of FFN links on here so apologies to people who dislike it, but a lot of great stuff is still on there so give it a chance.

Author recs

Everything by @awesomeavocadolove​​  Such hits as Another Brother (Zuko adopted by Hakoda pre-S1), and currently has a Zukka soulmate fic I’ve been meaning to start reading, as well as Unchained Melody, one of my favorite Zukka fics ever. Always quality, you can’t go wrong.

Everything by KimberlyT.  I do not kid. She’s written a variety of ATLA fic ranging from Zutara/other romance to gen, seriously emotional to cracky cabbagebending. I think my favorite is probably Mismatched (S1 Zuko adopts a baby) but honestly just go read it all.

Everything by @emletish-fish​​. She has a very fun writing style and honestly her end-of-chapter notes on why she’s made the choices she has are fun minimetas worthwhile in their own right. Some of her top fics are the Stalking Zuko series (S3 suspicious Katara to Zutara) and The Worst Prisoner (the Gaang kidnaps Zuko in S1 and can’t get rid of him). I think there’s still a good amount of her fic that can only be found on FFN so check there too.

Everything by @botherkupo​​. Especially her Undying Fire series (healer!Zuko) but also just literally everything she writes, it is all so great. Tends toward Zutara but strong gen fics as well sometimes and a lot of fun. Check it all out!

Everything by @muffinlance​​. Loves to toy with her readers’ emotions in the best of ways. Tons of fantastic gen Zuko-centric AUs, I have adored every single fic I’ve ever read by her, can’t praise them enough. Very productive as well, her tumblr is a hub for the ATLA renaissance and her fics inspire lots of others. Has also organized a fanmade ATLA coloring book for charity so get that once it’s out. In the meantime read everything she’s written.

Everything by Haicrescendo. My favorite is What We’re Given (the series where Zuko finds more air bisons and raises them), but there’s a lot of good Zukka fic too. I tend to steer away from explicit works in this fandom unless it’s a smaller part of a much longer plot-centric fic, so there are a number I haven’t read, but I really like the Pokemon!AU Zukka.

Everything by @gaycinema. I really love the EK fight club series (Zuko fights in Rumbles/etc.) but all of it is a good read. Some Jetko, mostly a lot of introspective or emotional oneshots. Which isn’t really a great depiction of how good they tend to be, you’ll just have to read them and find out. You won’t regret it, trust me.

Everything by @captainkirkk. So far eight stellar fics, starting with kind Fire Lord Zuko and ranging to Floating Tea Shop!Zuko who doesn’t want to hunt the Avatar. I love her style and have laughed out loud at multiple of these. 

Gen Zuko fic

Bringing Out the Blue by maguena1. [unfinished, long] Definitely worth the read. The first ATLA fic I ever got really sucked into. The Blue Spirit never gets knocked out so Aang doesn’t know his true identity; he joins the Gaang on a recurring basis, while Zuko attempts to tell himself this is only for information on how to catch them, they definitely aren’t his friends.

It’s Impossible by Sandra Phillips. [abandoned, long] One of the earliest Avatar!Zuko fics (sort of) and a really interesting take on some spirit stuff.

Embers by Vathara. [complete, long] A landmark fic in the fandom, and for good reason. I didn’t love everything about this fic, but it is very well-written and an absorbing read certainly worth the praise. 

the art of description by incandescens. [oneshot, short] Five descriptions of Zuko and Toph’s field trip from various perspectives. Short, sweet, and funny.

Breaking Point by Kryal. [oneshot, short] Zuko isn’t banished but instead sent to serve in the Home Guard. I love Zuko loving his people, and alternate canon explorations, and this is exactly that.

The Alternative by Lunatique. [oneshot, short] The reason Zuko is so determined is because he fears what will happen if he isn’t the next Fire Lord. An idea I support in canon, to a degree, written well.

Hands and Knees by gigerisgod. [oneshot, short] Zuko reflects on the choices he’s made, and experiences he’s had, when joining the Gaang. A nice introspective fic.

Relative Misery by peroxidepest17. [oneshot, short] Toph complains about her family and Zuko takes her on a field trip. Not a fic I take too seriously, but funny in a sad way.

Second Nature by lazyartisan. [possibly abandoned, long] An AU stemming from Zuko’s capture at the North Pole. Well-written and characterized, an old favorite that I actually find needing to reread to give you more detail, but I can promise it’s good.

Year One by peroxidepest17. [oneshot, short] Lessons Zuko learns in his first year being Fire Lord. I really like explorations of Zuko’s journey as Fire Lord and this is a lovely little window into that.

Soft by PenPistola. [oneshot, short] Zuko and Toph bonding after the Ember Island Players. Short and sweet.

The New Phoenix King by JoeMerl. [oneshot, short] Fire Lord Zuko is overthrown, and no one but him is bothered at all. In fact they help. Hilarious crack.

First Name Basis by JoeMerl. [oneshot, short] There’s some popular posts going around Tumblr lately about Zuko not knowing the Gaang’s names, but this fic did it first back in 2008. As amusing as you’d expect.

Male Bonding by glamaphonic. [oneshot, short] The original ‘Zuko and Sokka bond and are also dumb idiot boys’ fic. Katara is permanently rolling her eyes.

it’s not the waking, it’s the rising by isamagicdragon, thegracious [ongoing, series, medium] Azulon tells Ozai to kill Azula instead of Zuko, which leads to heartwrenching fire sibs adventure. I haven’t caught up on the last chapter yet but god is it fantastic and also just a really interesting and new perspective on what could have happened.

Doe-Eyed by Anonymous. [complete, medium] Zuko is a baby, Azula is a loving big sister. More fire sibs and a great exploration on Azula’s POV of turning against Ozai.

kintsugi by discordiansamba. [ongoing, series, long] Zuko doesn’t have Iroh after being banished, and winds up hired as a guard to protect the frail Beifong daughter. Fantastic preseries Zuko+Toph found family fic.

Legacies by WildInkling. [ongoing, medium] Far in the future, a historian studies the journal of Fire Lord Zuko. Also, he was secretly a famous author but no one knows. A funny and poignant outsider POV.

#UndercoverZuko series by naggeluide. [complete, series, short] A completely cracky concept written straight enough to be actually quite touching in parts, but also just really funny. Zuko goes Undercover Boss on his ship pre-series.

Avatar Ficlets by JaggedCliffs. [series, oneshots, short] An ongoing series of disconnected oneshots, mostly post-canon and mostly Zuko-centric. Some a pretty fun, one is a great view on Zuko and lightningbending, all worth the read (and follow for when more come out).

The Blind Leading the Blue by BrusselsSprout. [ongoing, medium] An epic Zuko and Toph field trip set in S2. I love them and this.

half in the shadows, half burned in flames by r_astra. [oneshot, short] Iroh dies, Zuko gets caught on the Day of Black Sun, everything ends up all right but damn does it hurt getting there.

A Tale of Earth and Fire by chiiyo86. [complete, medium] Zuko and Toph are married for Politics in a FN Wins AU, and follows them slowly bonding as friends to beginning a revolution. They’re married but it’s not romantic, just some good friendship.

Eight Principles of Yong by psocoptera. [oneshot, short] An exploration of immediate post-show FN politics (sort of), calligraphy, and Zuko. Also has some lovely non-fighting firebending; I always love when people explore other uses of bending.

Healing Properties of Cinder Sage by Dawen. [oneshot, short] Zuko gets very sick in the Western Air Temple. Some good interaction when he’s new to the Gaang, and Toph+Zuko friendship.

We Ourselves Must Walk The Path by WinterSky101. [complete, medium] The Gaang agrees to make Zuko their prisoner in the WAT. Speaking of new-to-the-Gaang, tension, this fic has plenty of it, and also features some good Toph and Zuko.

Frozen by Aris Merquoni. [oneshot, medium] Zuko is captured in the NWT. Some politics, lots of angst, and eventually, healing. Also actually makes me somewhat like Hahn? Incredibly enough.

Reluctant Hero by PAW_07. [ongoing, long] Avatar!Zuko fic. I got to beta it way back when for a little while before I got too busy, and have always been a huge fan of this fic. Great concept, one of the best executions of it I’ve seen, and also one of the first. Definitely read this.

Morality Chain by Pureauthor. [abandoned, long] Azula and Zuko were always on each other’s side; how this changes canon. I love this concept and would happily read a lot more fics with it (please guys, I need more fire sibs).

A viper-lizard’s tales series by Yumi_Take. [ongoing, long] The world needs more of Zuko adopting pets and small children, and those are just facts. This only has one of the two, but it’s a EK baby! Jet plays a big role in this fic as well, a weird kind of uncle-ish to the baby/friend/murderer Zuko needs to watch closely and hold back kind of thing.

(life happens) wherever you are by howlikeagod. [ongoing, long] Katara doesn’t find Zuko and Iroh in the teashop, and canon takes a sharp left turn. Excellent Gaang fic.

The Best Path series by EudociaCovert. [series, ongoing, long] Zuko meets Jet in ‘Zuko Alone’ and winds up getting claimed as theirs by the remaining Freedom Fighters. Really really well-written, I got quite emotional over some scenes.

Shippy Zuko fic

Balm by Thyme In Her Eyes. [Maiko, oneshot, short] A sweet little fic about Mai’s thoughts on Zuko’s lightning scar.

The Black Games by Mrs. Pettyfer. [Zutara, complete, long] Hunger Games-esque AU. It’s the first in a series, and I lost interest after this one but I remember enjoying the fic and it was more personal preference rather than a drop in quality that had me leaving.

Lie To Me by Inkcharm. [Toko, oneshot, short] I’m not actually a fan of this pairing romatically (at least until years down the line), but this little fic of Toph and Zuko bonding through lying to one another is sweet. I choose to ignore the more shippy parts and enjoyed it.

Zutara? What the heck is that? by Ryxl. [Zutara, oneshot, short] Complete crack, have a good sense of humor and I think you will enjoy. Just the mental image of the Gaang finding a Zutara propaganda flyer had me chuckling.

The Three Chores series (1, 2, 3) by Fandomme. [Zutara, threeshot, short] Zuko and Katara slowly bond as he helps with chores. I will admit it’s been years and I barely remember this, but what I do recall is lovely and I always appreciate people lightening Katara’s load.

read the inscription by suzukiblu. [Zuko/Song, complete, series, medium] When Zuko is banished, he is left alone in the Earth Kingdom to fend for himself. Very touching, and I love Song in this.

Hooked by TGP. [Jetko, complete, long] A classic ‘Jet didn’t see Iroh warming his tea’ fic. They’re almost all this premise but so many well-written and very long ones. 

Something To Hold Onto by Wildgoosery. [Jetko, complete, long] The EK fell and Li stayed to fight with the Freedom Fighters to protect the city during its foreign rule. Jet didn’t see the tea fic that goes very AU from canon.

Foxfire by Rahar_Moonfire. [Jetko, ongoing, long] Zuko loses his memories Jetko fic, but with heavy spirit influence and lovable EK OCs, both of which I adore and should be in far more fics.

Once Upon A Teashop by anaer. [Zukka, Jetko, ongoing, long] Cracky Ba Sing Se AU that gets gradually more and more serious. Jet hits on Zuko a lot and Sokka gets a job in the teashop to keep an eye on both of them. Endgame Zukka but heavy Jetko, and both pairings are handled pretty well, not a love triangle that makes me too mad, although as always bear in mind Jet’s messed up. 

Names by TGP. [Jetko, complete, long] I feel like I’m forgetting some more excellent Amnesia!Zuko fics, but this is one I do know of. To be honest I don’t remember it super well because it may be mixed up with other Jetko/amnesia fics in my mind, but I think it was really good. I’ll have to reread myself.

Epistles by Lady_of_the_Flowers. [Zukka, ongoing, long] I love epistolary fic and I love Zuko and Sokka bonding earlier in canon. I will be honest I haven’t read this in a long time and been updating all the while, but the premise alone (Zuko and Sokka become messenger-hawk-pals in S1 and then fall in love) is fantastic. 

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought. [Zukka, ongoing, long] Zuko rebels earlier and actually is sent to the mines, until he is ‘rescued’ by the Water Tribe. Dark but getting lighter over time, and more reluctant-to-rule Zuko which always wrenches my heartstrings. I prefer super loyal and dutiful to his people Zuko but this trope always makes me feel things.

Crossovers

Fallen Drops of Fire by Chasmfiend. [Fullmetal Alchemist, ongoing] Young Azula and Zuko somehow appear in Amestris, and encounter Roy Mustang. I adore the fire sibs, and their relationship in this strange situation is the star of this fic for me, but it’s also fun seeing the FMA perspective of these two.

The Dragon-King’s Temple by Kryal. [Stargate SG-1, long, complete] The best crossover fic out there. Zuko and Toph get stranded on the other side of a Stargate. I don’t know anything about SG-1 but it didn’t matter, the fic was fantastic, they were badasses, it explored language and culture from an outside perspective, and it was just a ton of fun. Must-read.

Other character fic

Loyalty by Julia451. [oneshot, short] The ship captain didn’t misspeak when he called Iroh and Zuko “prisoners” in the start of S2. A lovely look at a nameless character, giving depth to a small moment and humanity to a FN soldier which I always love.

The Only One by HarlowR. [oneshot, short] An excellent exploration of Azula’s mindset regarding Zuko, her desperate need to be loved and jealousy of him matching his own. I think Azula was one of the greatest tragedies of the show, and this fic makes me feel it.

Blood by theAsh0. [oneshot, short] Katara-centric thinkpiece on bloodbending and healing. Dark but really interesting.

Touch and Go by Cadence. [oneshot, short] After Iroh’s struck by lightning, Toph doesn’t let Zuko drive them all away. A momentary alliance and the seeds of friendship. More Toph-focused but still heavy on the whole Gaang.

Shortcomings by Menamebephil. [oneshot, short] Iroh thoughts during his imprisonment, on the theme of mistakes. I love this man and don’t understand why I am so drawn to fic about him that makes me sad.

Watch And Review, Please by Becca Stareyes. [oneshot, short] The Ember Island Players receive some constructive criticism... sort of. Funny and quick.

Azula Redemption Trilogy (1, 2, 3) by Mistress of Sarcasm. [threeshot, short] Second person and deeply introspective, three short little fics delving into Azula’s head and bringing her closer to redemption.

Echoing Refrains by catie_writes_things. [oneshot, short] I really like nuanced explorations of the whole FN royal family. It’s perfectly fine to write Ozai as pure evil bastard, but exploring  what might have been or how he got there, or even as in this fic his talent for music being inherited by Zuko is really interesting too. Iroh-centric.

our curse by ohmygodwhy, and the last dragon by thesometimeswarrior. [twoshot, complete, short] Stay away if you don’t like to cry. In the first Zuko learns Ozai is executing Iroh, and isn’t able to stop it; the second is even worse because it’s Iroh’s POV. I put this in the other characters section because honestly I adore the second fic even more than the first, but they are both fantastically written and will hurt you a very great deal.

Finally, I’m not quite bold enough to put my own fic on a reclist, but just shameless enough to mention I’ve written a few Avatar fics I quite like if anyone feels the desire to check them out on my AO3. ;) But seriously give love to all the rest of these, they deserve it. (And as I said, there’s lots more excellent stuff, this fandom is so prolific and well-written!)

[mkstrigidae]

Current WIPs and Fic Concepts

I promised I would do this yesterday, and then I forgot!!! (I was very sleep deprived). Anyways, here are a bunch of the WIP premises that I have in my 'unfinished drafts' folder. Most have at least a few pages written for them, but I love them all! ☺️💕

- A Santa Clarita Diet AU (Jonsa) Takes place in sunny southern California, where a shitty dinner at a mediocre restaurant turns into a huge problem for Jon and Sansa when Sansa's heart stops beating. Although she seems fine, Jon is flabbergasted several days later as he watches his wife- who alphabetizes their pantry and refuses to let anyone wear shoes in the house- rip the throat out of one of the sleazy new partners at their law firm, eating half of him before anyone processes what's going on. Hilarity ensues as Sansa's inhibitions and filter disappear, Arya ropes an extremely confused Gendry into helping figure out what the hell is going on just because he moderates the zombie forum on reddit, and Jon tries to deal with the fact that the woman he loves more than anything is now a humanitarian. He really could use a drink. (This one is actually mostly complete, but i need to refine a few things- i really love it. It's as gory and irreverent as the show, so viewer discretion advised, but it's a BLAST to write).

- A Thor/MCU AU (Jonsa, Steve Rogers/Sansa)- Asgardian prince Aegon is banished to Midgard after one too many arrogant decisions, and is promptly hit by a van containing Dr. Sansa Stark, Dr. Barristan Selmy, and Margaery Tyrell- two astrophysicists studying wormholes and Sansa's best friend and pseudo-intern. Marg yells at him, he yells back, Sansa tases him, and Barristan didn't sign up for the kind of heavy lifting that getting a 200+ pound slab of muscle into the back of a van takes. And then Aegon's younger brother, Jon, shows up, in the middle of an identity crisis because, apparently, he's adopted. He wasn't intending to stay, but he's rather drawn to Dr. Stark and her brilliance, and against her better judgement, she starts to trust him, and maybe even like him. This story is in about three parts so far- the first is based on 'Thor' and the second on 'The Avengers' and are fully Jonsa, and the third started as a family bonding story between the Stark kids and Tony (Ned and Tony are second cousins, and Ned was really supportive of Tony in rehab without expecting anything in return), and accidentally turned into a Steve Rogers/Sansa Stark story, which is a pairing i am HERE for. A lot of this one is written, but it needs some fill in before publishing, although it's one of my favorites that i've written to go back and actually read.

- A Star Wars AU (Jonsa) where Sansa and Arya are Alderaanian princesses who are off planet when Alderaan is destroyed- Sansa as a senator and Arya as a pilot, both working for the rebellion, and jon is a smuggler who does not know how all of these people got on his ship and why two princesses are sassing him. His copilot, Tormund (yes he's a wookie), thinks it is hilarious. I started this one just the other day, and it's already thirty pages long, most of them involving Sansa and Arya sassing people. Dany is a leader in the rebellion, Roose Bolton is the emperor, and Barbrey Dustin is a disgruntled former jedi trying to live in peace on a remote planet until another Stark crashes into her life and harangues her into teaching again.

- A witches/magic AU (Jonsa) where the Starks run an apothecary and spellcasting supplies shop. Jon had been completely in the dark about magic before his mother confessed to being born into a family of witches. He finds himself traveling to her hometown, trying to understand her world more clearly, and what it means for him. On the way, he develops something of a crush on the red-headed shop clerk who brews the best headache potions in town. Featuring lots of magical shenanigans, this is one of my favorites in the folder :)

- A 24 hour diner AU (Jonsa) where Jon is a local mob boss, and Sansa works the late shift at Seaworth's diner to buy textbooks for the PhD she's working on in botany. Sansa's running from memories, and Jon has a soft spot for the red-headed waitress who always remembers how he likes his coffee.

- An East of the Sun, West of the Moon AU!!! (Jonsa) This is one of my fav fairy tales, and of course i couldn't resist Jon as a direwolf striking a deal with the starks!

- A Roomates AU (Jonsa)- Arya, Jon, Tormund, and Sam have been renting the same house together off Winterfell's campus for years- but when Sam moves in with his girlfriend, they need one more person on the lease. Sansa, about to relocate to Winterfell for grad school, finds out that her boyfriend has been cheating on her and that her housing plans have fallen through, all on the same day. Needless to say, she's a bit upset when she calls Arya to relay the news. There's a simple solution here, if Arya and Tormund can stop teasing Jon about his crush for five minutes. (any excuse to write tormund and arya roasting jon, tbh).

- A Fae AU (Jonsa)- When Sansa, a baker living in the city, washes her face in an enchanted spring on a camping trip, she gains the sight as a result. Suddenly able to see the fae underworld all around her is disorienting and terrifying. Sansa tries to conceal it- afraid of what might happen if the fae around her know that she can see them- but slips up, and catches the attention of Jon Snow- one of the lords of the unseelie court.

- A nuclear winter wasteland AU (Jonsa)- (?? I don't even know how to describe this premise, haha) where the Starks are living and running the Free Winterfell settlement in Siberia after a worldwide nuclear meltdown. Before the fallout, Sansa was one of the world's preeminent researchers in plant genetics and pathology, and works at the settlement to create newer, disease and radiation resistant crops to distribute for free to other settlements, aiming to break up the monopoly that Lannister Corp has on the market. Jon is a scavenger, searching throughout Siberia for his sister Rhae who disappeared several years previously. When he runs across Arya Starkovna, helping her fight off another band of radiation ravaged scavengers is just instinct- he doesn't think twice about it. In thanks, she brings him to the Winterfell settlement, where her brother Robb offers Jon sanctuary and resources, in exchange for serving as a bodyguard for Sansa when she travels to other settlements. Sansa is not particularly thrilled by this arrangement, but given that multiple parties seem to want her dead, she doesn't have much of a choice but to accept his company.

- A reincarnation AU (Jonsa)- of sorts. Robb is an archaeologist who finds a strange set of runes at a site up north, and immediately calls in Jon Snow- a historian and expert in said ancient language, as well as an old university friend of Robb's. When he arrives though, Robb shows him their most valuable finds- two mysterious ice blocks, with what appear to be perfectly preserved bodies from over a thousand years ago. No one could ever have imagined that either of them were still alive, but when the ice melts, revealing two very alive girls, the entire crew is instantly buried in NDAs, and given an assignment from the Westerosi government to figure out what the hell was going on. Sansa and Arya wake up, extremely confused about the world they live in, trying to adapt and mourning all that they've lost, even as the people around them wear familiar faces.

- Soulmates AU (Jonsa)- (Yes, another one, I love this dumb trope) Trauma surgeon and medical resident Sansa Stark is having a very bad day, and ends up meeting her soulmate during what she thinks is a mugging gone wrong. Fortunately, he’s not the one mugging her, just an intervening bystander, but she ends up slightly shot nonetheless. Sansa’s fretting about bleeding on the upholstery in his car, but Jon is a bit more worried about her injuries than the blood stains. He’s a bit confused when she threatens him if he takes her to a specific hospital, nearly has a nervous breakdown when she insists on doing her own triage, and is very charmed when she insists on ice cream after taking pain meds at the hospital. On Sansa’s part, she’s a little less concerned about being shot, and a bit more concerned about whatever weird first impression she’s making to her soulmate while high as a kite on pain pills. (this one just needs some tweaking to be postable- I'm not sure if it's going to be a oneshot or a series, but i love what I have already)

- A Demon/Archivist AU (Jonsa)- where Sansa works in the university's historical archives in Oldtown, and is learning to restore old texts with her fellow student and friend, Alleras (Trans Sarella is an amazing concept). When Joffrey Baratheon shows up with a pile of old books from his family's library to donate, Sansa is eager to get away from his sleaze, and accidentally takes one of the books home with her in her rush to leave. Unbeknownst to her, it's more than it appears, and when she leaves it open overnight, she accidentally summons forth Jon- an ancient, powerful, and extremely annoyed demon who is under a curse, and now hers to command. As Jon and Sansa try to get used to this new normal, the Lannisters (unaware that Joffrey had donated the tome) try desperately to find the book and it's owner, wanting Jon's power for themselves, and putting Sansa in considerable danger unless she can figure out how to break Jon's curse. Fortunately, she's a pretty good researcher, even if Jon is initially a bit of a grump. (This is based on a total wish-fulfillment mary-sue type premise for something I wrote when I was thirteen, and I revisited it and wanted to see what it would look like if i took it very seriously, and i am really enjoying it so far. It's a love letter to the terrible, heartfelt writing i was doing in middle school that created the foundations for my writing today, and so much fun).

The one that I am MOST excited about though:

- A Pacific Rim AU!!!! (Ned/Cat, Gendrya, Braime, Sansa/Jon Umber)-Twins Sansa and Robb Stark have always been completely in tune with each other, and when your parents are Jaeger pilots and your mother invented the neural handshake, what option is there but the Jaeger academy? Sansa studies to be an engineer, but ends up copiloting the Jaeger 'Winter Wolf' with her twin brother, after they lose Ned Stark to cancer. When Robb is ripped out of the conn-pod and killed by a kaiju while he's still connected to Sansa, she barely manages to kill the creature before stumbling back to shore, traumatized, grieving, and swearing that she'll never pilot again.

Unfortunately, the Kaiju don't stop just because Sansa does, and when the end of the world is imminent, Marshall Catelyn Stark orders both her daughter and former pilot Jaime Lannister (who lost his twin and copilot, Cersei, several years previously) back to Hong Kong for one final stand. Forced to face both her demons and an irate Arya, furious that Sansa had abandoned the rest of them after Robb's death, Sansa and Arya have to figure out how to pilot Winter Wolf together before the apocalypse comes for them all.

Featuring Marshall Catelyn Stark (commander of the Hong Kong Shatterdome, inventor of the neural handshake, former Jaeger pilot, and BAMF), Sansa x Jon Umber (Yes i know it's a rare pair but i've always kind of loved the idea of them, even though we know so little about him), Kaiju parts dealer and smuggler Petyr Baelish, bickering kaiju biologist Dany and theoretical mathematician Jon Snow, LOCCENT officer Theon, lots of snark, lots of angst and heartfelt conversations, and a weird friendship between snarky-grieving-asshole Jaime Lannister and kind-quiet-grieving Sansa Stark, who are the only two people in the world who know what it's like to lose a copilot and a twin in the drift.

Thanks for reading guys!! There are more, but some of them I just don't know how to explain quite yet, haha. I'd love to hear what you guys think about these!

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game - CH90

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

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Chapter 90: Castle Cry (XVII)

With the deepening of the plot, the fire in the old castle didn't look like an ordinary fire accident anymore. Since the involvement of the devil worship, the situation had become more and more complicated.

Dr. Lu also suspected Johann, the male owner of the castle, and guessed whether he sacrificed his wife to the Devil. However, Su He put forward an objection: "It should not be wrong that the person making the sacrifice was Mrs. Sarah. She has the best motive and the source of the sacrifice is also her. The current offerings include her hair, teeth, and eyeballs. The remaining three may also be integral parts of her body, or they may be related to her. I suggest finding these things before the final battle, as they’re related to the completion of the task."

"That she sacrificed to the Devil was for the sake of what? To pray for yourself to get pregnant, or to pray for your child to come back from the dead?" Dr. Lu asked again.

Qi Leren shook his head: "I don't think so."

Judging from the phantoms he has seen so far, the crazy lady loved her child, but she loved her husband more. The trigger of the miscarriage made her inherited mental illness break out, and her mental problems aggravated her love and madness. As Nina said, she suspected that her husband was unfaithful to her. And the source of this suspicion... I'm afraid was that woman named Adeline.

According to Johann's diary, Mrs. Sarah and Adeline should have been friends or relatives who grew up together since childhood, they were not blood-related sisters, but Adeline had died before they came to China.

Judging from the situation with Nan Lu, who seems to be possessed by the crazy lady, she seemed to be jealous of Adeline and thought that she was being haunted…

"There are six sacrifices. Why that number?" Dr. Lu asked Su He.

"Well... Probably because in the Nightmare World, 6 is the number representing the Devils." Su He said quietly, "Numbers are very interesting in the Nightmare World. Many numbers have special meanings. For example, 4 stands for luck and 7 stands for 'I love you'. If you want to express your confession to an NPC, you can send her seven red roses, and 77 will also do."

"It’s a few roses less expensive than on earth," Dr. Lu spat and followed Su He up the stairs.

"Still not leaving?" The two people who had stepped up the stairs to look for the nursery on the third floor found that Qi Leren was still in a daze.

Qi Leren made a noise in answer, recovered from his meditative state, and continued to go up.

Maybe there would be more clues for him later.

The lay-out of the third floor was similar to that of the second floor, and the number of rooms was not far behind. Qi Leren singled Dr. Lu out for the first time: "It's time to play your role. Feel which room is the baby room."

Dr. Lu angrily said, "Do you think I am a B-ultrasound probe?! How do I know which one before opening the door!"

"You’re not a small expert in finding things," Qi Leren inclined his gaze.

Dr. Lu snorted and took the keys to try the door. Qi Leren and Su He studied the blood on the ground. Two blood stains spread from the stairs to the corridor on the third floor, and dragged all the way to the depths of the corridor. This terrible blood was naturally from the torn-in-half Xiao Hong, and it looked terrible.

"Are we going to follow it?" Qi Leren asked Su He.

Su He shook his head slowly. "Don't worry. I think that direction should be the last boss battle."

"Eh?" Qi Leren made a voice of doubt. "It can’t happen there."

Su He smiled and pointed over his head: "To be precise, it’s above."

"Above," Qi Leren looked up and looked at the ceiling, suddenly saying, "You mean the garden on the roof?"

"Well, there should be a staircase at the end of the corridor leading to the garden at the top of the castle. The blood can be said to show us the way, and maybe we will meet the dog, so let's collect some clues, lest the completion be too low," Su He said steadily.

Qi Leren nodded hard. The biggest advantage of having Su He was that he could stop thinking. His IQ could only be said to be average. It was really painful to rack one's brains for the task. Now he had a plug-in with him, which made him feel a lot easier. He just needed to go up and work hard when it was needed... Although it was really "high-level".

Unfortunately, when Dr. Lu opened the door, a skeleton dressed as a maid was found in one of the rooms, and he was so scared that he was crying and screaming. Qi Leren had no choice but to come forward to escort him. As the mascot to raise his lucky value, Dr. Lu could never afford to lose.

Dr. Lu squatted in the corner sadly and waited for Qi Leren to deal with the skeleton. Su He looked at him condescendingly, suddenly sighed and said seriously, "Although luck is important sometimes, luck alone is not enough."

Dr. Lu mumbled something twice and whispered, "I know, but I just can't get past that hurdle... No matter what difficult things I encounter, from small to large, I’ll always solve them inexplicably and go smoothly... I..."

Su He squatted down with him and patted him on the shoulder kindly: "I understand that it’s not easy to change who you’ve been for the past twenty years. The choice is whether you change quickly or die quickly."

Dr. Lu glanced at him begrudgingly and felt that he was covered with dead flags.

"Okay!" Three or two hits solved the skeleton. Qi Leren shouted ahead. They stood up. Dr. Lu continued to open the doors. This time, he finally found the right room.

The dusty door was opened, and the window facing the door was also sealed with wooden bars. The window was already broken a long time ago. The rain and water outside the window were blown into the room with the wind. Lightning lit up this small room from time to time, and dolls of all sizes were everywhere in every corner. They were burnt to pieces, had soaked in the moisture, and had mildewed and blackened, ghostly in the pale light.

Qi Leren felt uncomfortable as soon as he stepped into the room. The demon power here was much stronger than that in the piano room. He looked around the room and finally stopped before walking to the baby cradle.

It's not that he felt anything, but that the doll held by the crazy lady in the basement was impressed upon him, and the one in the cradle was exactly the same as the one in her arms.

"You see..." Qi Leren was inviting the two people to see, and suddenly there was a deafening slam of the door behind him - slamming on something hard.

Qi Leren looked back, and Su He stood by the door, and the walking stick in his hand had just gotten stuck in the door, preventing the door from closing.

Su He smiled helplessly: "No matter what kind of task, the law is always the same... Be careful, these dolls are going to be resurrected."

His voice had just fallen when the atmosphere in the nursery suddenly changed. The giggling of children came from every corner. A few palm-sized dolls jumped on the ground like mice, and flashed by in the thunder and lightning outside the window, hiding in the doll pile.

Qi Leren's hand holding the dagger tightened. He stuck to the wall and looked at the high and low dolls in the room.

They were laughing and moving. These toys made by people were endowed with evil life by the Devil’s power, and could come at them at any time!

"Ah--" the doll in the cradle let out a shrill scream, rolled over and rolled down the cradle, and jumped into the doll pile to hide.

Just like a call to arms, the dolls who had been moving only slightly giggled in unison and rushed at them!

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Editor’s Notes: Keep that meaning of the number seven in mind, friends ;)

Aaaand we’re back to regular updates! A small change though: I’m going to be slowing updates down to once every two days rather than every day, as my new semester began this past week and is already looking to be more intensive than my previous one. (Feel free to follow me on my twitter if you would like to see me occassionally yelling in frustration over dead languages and homophobic historians.) This new schedule may shift either way (ie. more or less often) once I get a better feel for how things will be; I’ll keep you updated. 

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[begrudginglytumbling]

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four,  Part Five, Part Six

Part Three!

...or I suppose technically it’s part two of Part Two since this one will finish up what the other one started.

Shall we return to Grow Up?

(This’ll be long even though I managed to be a little ruthless and cut some of the images.)

We’ll start with the staffroom and finish with the dorm rooms.

I am only assuming it’s a staffroom. For all I know it could be some kind of common room. But they spend a damned lot of time there. They eat. They hangout. They study. And it’s not just the students, so I’m calling it a staffroom.

Anyway! This breakfast bar thing props up a fair amount of leaning, from general side leans.

To the favoured elbow hook lean.

What I find funny about this particular surface is that Bai Yu’s legs are so long that he actually can’t sit ‘properly’ at it. If he sits straight, then he has to lean forward, since his knees are knocking into it. And when he does sit close (his feet aren’t on the floor, since he’s on a stool, so he can sit properly), he has to spread his legs in some form of obscene manspreading fashion that made me cackle and that I apparently managed to not get a screenshot of (and annoyingly I can’t remember which episode it was in).

Right then, on to the table.

Literally.

On to the table.

Because, clearly, Bai Yu can’t resist sitting on a tabletop.

I made a post about it a while ago, but I’m still not over it so, just as a quick break from the sitting - that outfit is certainly a choice of the wardrobe department.

I mean just look at it, with it’s mustard trousers paired with that top, and a lime green tie. It’s like someone threw the 70s at him or something and went with whatever stuck. I feel like it shouldn’t work. But why does it? Is it a Bai Yu thing?

I mean I know he can pull off some slightly questionable fashion choices - that denim on denim look he has as Zhao Yunlan is something I’d normally say isn’t a good idea, but he looks damn good in it. There is also the jacket with the buttons on the back that I’m still questioning to this day. And the time they apparently rolled him in glitter. And, ok, I happily admit that I don’t tend to understand fashion, and I understand even less of Chinese fashion, but, just, how did this choice come about? Pretty much everyone else in this show seems to wear ‘normal’ sedate clothes. Then there’s this guy. With his bright colours, his polka dots on polka dots, and his cravats. Honestly, mixing his outfit choices with his sitting preferences and relationships, I’m becoming convinced that this is just another example of Bai Yu giving his character Disaster Bi energy. The dude ain’t straight, and the dude ain’t gay. I’d say this dude is a Certified Disaster Bi.

Ok, back to the table and Bai Yu’s leaning back in an almost draw-me-like-one-of-your-French-girls manner.

And, like, there is a chair right there.

But nope.

The unpadded table is apparently more appealing for this man’s relatively flat arse than the padded chair that is right there.

I mean, yeah, he makes an appealing picture that’s visually different from everything else going on, but that does not negate the fact he ignored the empty chair that’s right next to him in favour of draping himself over the table.

And look, he can sit at the table as opposed to on it. There’s quite a few instances where he’s sitting at the table in a chair like a proper person. Granted, in pretty much every instance he’s sitting with his legs crossed, because god forbid he have both feet touching the floor.

But of course this table also sees moments where he’s doing something different to the others. Like here. Everyone is standing, he’s sitting.

I think he’s sulking a bit in this one, but still. Different position, different aura, still not supporting his own meagre weight.

And here with his gay little scout-esque neckerchief/scarf thing, leaning back, not sitting properly.

He does this lean back on the sofa too.

The shot is only a couple of seconds long, then he’s standing up, just like in Part Two, where he’s the only one sitting when the Teacher Doctor guy opens the door, and I touched on this a little in the previous part. But I’m really starting to think it might be a deliberate thing that’s quite clever in drawing the eye.

I should probably preface this with saying I know basically nothing about the processes that go into acting and film making. I am however technically a historian by degree and, therefore, fully capable of pulling theories out of my arse which I will then scrabble around to find sources to back them up.

So! The theory is that movement naturally draws the human eye, and if everyone is the same then a scene can fall flat. Sameness is boring, your eyes can flit over it and not take in any details.

Bai Yu?

Bai Yu is a fidget (seriously go watch his livestream videos, he fidgets, fiddles, and wriggles), this movement can be used to his advantage in drawing the eye. That scene up there? He’s not just leaning back, he’s also shifting about. He’s not in focus, but you can be damned sure that movement made my eyes focus on him before I even knew it was him.

And for combating the sameness? Look at the examples above - he’s lounging on the table, different posture to everyone else - he’s sitting while everyone else is standing -  in the previous part he’s standing while everyone else is sitting. I thought at first my eyes were drawn because it’s Bai Yu and, well, he’s a favourite of mine so why wouldn’t my eyes be drawn. But then I realised they would’ve been, regardless, because he’s different. He breaks up the sameness, he stops it being flat. It reminded me of a scene in Pride and Prejudice, where the Bennett girls turn one way, but Mrs. Bennett turns the other. I remember watching or reading a commentary about it, the move being praised. I don’t remember exactly what was said, just that it was praised for being different and adding something to the scene, and it made me wonder if Bai Yu makes similar decisions?

Ok, onto the seating area proper.

He was actually sitting on an armchair properly before this, with both feet on the floor and everything...he looked so uncomfortable. Then he moved to sit on the arm of the sofa, because of course he did.

Y’know, pillows get hugged a lot in this programme, mainly by Bai Yu, but by others too sometimes.

And why sit normally when there’s a perfectly good coffee table in front of you to rest your foot on and make some viewers wince because why is your ankle bending that way? How is that even comfortable?

Just look at it. Barely resting on the table with his other foot adding weight to it.

You make my joints ache, sir.

Ok so technically I probably could’ve cut this one, since he’s just sitting on the sofa, nothing fancy, legs crossed, arm slung over the back as he pulls faces while she’s playing a game - she’s training to be a doctor but has a fear of blood so to get her use to it his character gets her to play fighting games(?) and someone else puts red dye on her hands - but this ends up leading to...

...this.

And just...what? How...?

That can’t be comfortable, surely.

I don’t even...are your joints even real, sir?

If your own joints are twinging in sympathy pain, this is your chance to go give your arms a shake and your body a wiggle before we head to the last section of the dorm rooms. Make sure everything is where it should be to remind yourself that you’re not the broken marionette doll Bai Yu can apparently become.

Right. All shook out? Good.

First stop the girls’ dorms, last stop the boys’.

There’s not much in the main girls’ room, really, just his usual sitting with his legs crossed because obviously the floor is lava and can’t be trusted with both feet.

I’m not sure how much he can be blamed for this one, as he’s technically been thrown into the chair by the little doctor trainee whose character reminds me a bit of Wen Qing.

As a side note, when you’re watching something that you don’t understand the language of, scenes like this can really throw you, because you’re just sitting there minding your own business, when suddenly they’re alone in the room together and Bai Yu’s character is taking off his tie, before striping off his shirt and tossing it on the sofa, and then you’re sitting there like wait, what? When did...? I thought...? What? But then he just gets tossed into the chair and some kind of conversation happens that makes you relax because, yeah, from your vague understanding of the characters, that makes more sense.

Even though he was tossed down, he didn’t actually need to keep his feet on the chair, but of course that didn’t stop him.

He is actually capable of looking comfortable sitting in this particular chair, he even gets to hug a pillow while doing it.

Now then, the boys’ dorm.

He came in, he saw them, he plopped down on the coffee table.

He could’ve sat on the sofa, he could’ve pulled up a chair, but nope. Coffee table.

Obviously, as previously mentioned, the floor is lava, so at the first opportunity he lifted both feet on the table and happily sat on it like an indulgent cat or something.

The sofa.

This sofa is not big enough for a full Bai Yu stretch out, but he can happily curl up on either end.

You could turn him into Bai Yu themed bookends.

Now, from watching Guardian we are all aware that this man is fully capable of embodying the spirit of a cat.

I, however, raise you the spirit of a Great Dane.

I see no difference between these two images.

Also not even this character’s mother can get him to sit properly. She prods him up and shuffles him over, and the first thing he does is pull up a knee.

Y’know how people starfish in bed? Well Bai Yu can apparently starfish in an armchair. He just plops down and flings his limbs out.

I almost didn’t catch this one, it’s part of some studying montage thing, and I thought he was sitting properly since he’s leaning forward, and I can clearly see his slippers.

Then I had a ‘wait, hold up’ moment, went back, and looked properly.

There are no feet in those slippers.

There are no legs attached to them.

So even when you think he’s sitting properly. He isn’t because he is kneeling. And I almost missed this ridiculousness!

Yes, Bai Yu, sit on a bed post that is clearly not meant to be sat on.

This is a moment where he could’ve leant against the wall, but evidently saw even the smallest flat surface as an invitation to sit.

Is that post migrating to places a bed post shouldn’t be migrating to?

Should’ve thought of that before you went and sat on it.

Not only does illness and subsequent surgery give him an excuse to lay on a gurney, it also gives him an excuse to lay in bed!

Apparently being tucked in by other men is also something not entirely unique to Bai Yu’s Zhao Yunlan. That bloke, the roommate that he went on a not-date-but-looked-like-a-date-with-wine-and-everything, seems like an absolute sweetheart and I’m still pissed at what they did in the last episode. It was uncalled for, script writers, uncalled for!

Although, I suppose, in regards to this project, it is kinda ironic that by the end, of the three men in their 'friendship group' of seven, Bai Yu’s character is the last one standing.

If I was a ‘they were roommates. Oh god they were roommates’ kinda writer these beds would be a bloody godsend. Just look at the watching and pining potential if top bunk guy was mooning over bottom bunk guy, while top bunk was doing work at his desk, and bottom bunk was sleeping.

The potential, people, the potential.

So that’s it. Grow Up is all done, and I can confidently put this in the column of Bai Yu quirks that become character quirks.

If you want to watch it, it’s available on Youtube, but there aren’t any subtitles. It’s on Dramacool too, but, again, no subtitles and the quality is horrid compared to Youtube.

Considering I couldn’t care less about the main storyline, it’s not actually a bad little drama.

Part One, Part Two , Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

[dwellordream]

“Daughters’ skirmishes with mothers cut close to the bone, working the borders of identity often blurred by shared location within the home. With their responsibility for the reproduction of domestic roles, mothers lay centrally in the line of command over the lives of their daughters. Of course their authority was shared power—power that originated with wages earned by husbands and fathers.

Traditional patriarchy had been in decline for some time in the late nineteenth century. Without land to disperse, fathers had been losing their authority over their sons’ destinies, and as they moved to cities and took up work outside of the home, fathers were less and less involved in the delegation of work within the home. But in fundamental and important ways, they still ruled.

Those responsible for advising girls on their role in life reminded them of their continuing need to curry favor with fathers —and with reason. The Victorian patriarch could appear unexpectedly, thwarting plans, making pronouncements, breathing moral fire. Yet he was not always successful in these less and less common rulings. When opinion at home had congealed elsewhere—particularly when mothers and daughters agreed—the Victorian patriarch could find his authority hollow. Especially as daughters matured from childhood and found their lives inscribed with the expectations of gender, fathers receded from the line of command, expecting of their daughters, as they did of their wives, not obedience but domestic ministration.

Fathers’ familial responsibility for daughters translated into responsibility for guidance in two particular arenas beyond the walls of the home. Men were responsible for supervising their daughters’ academic education and for assisting them in their studies in religion. This responsibility is well communicated in the kinds of gifts bestowed by fathers on daughters on birthdays—prayer books, writing books, pens, dictionaries, atlases, library subscriptions. Fathers’ responsibilities for higher duties were reflected in their stern communications with daughters at midcentury. Agnes Lee received letters re- inforcing the importance of studies from her father, Robert E. Lee, in the 1850s when she was away at a female seminary.

He took issue with a bit of exuberant homesickness: ‘‘I must take you to task for some expressions in your letter. You say, ‘our only thought, our only talk, is entirely about our going home.’ How can you reconcile that with the object of your sojourn at Staunton! Unless your thoughts are sometimes devoted to your studies, I do not see the use of your being there.’’ It was often fathers to whom daughters recited lessons, and whose words of commendation were particularly meaningful. Fathers’ responsibilities for their daughters’ educations represented a vestigial authority for a family’s competency in the world—and continued when responsibility for other aspects of daughters’ lives had receded.

The same was true, though to a lesser degree, for fathers’ responsibilities for daughters’ souls. Kathryn Kish Sklar has written powerfully about the intertwining strands of patriarchy and evangelical culture which bedeviled Catharine Beecher’s quest for a conversion experience early in the nineteenth century. As mothers took up their newly won roles as moral exemplars, they supplemented but did not replace fathers as the guardians of familial faith. Robert E. Lee encouraged his daughter’s relationship with God as well as her studies, and his daughter wrote back a shy profession of faith, offered to her father as to one to whom it was owed: ‘‘I have something to tell you which I know will make you very happy. It is, I believe both of your daughters are Christians. I am sure Annie is, and O Papa I am resolved to doubt no longer that there has been a great and blessed change wrought in my wicked heart.’’

Though absent from the day-to-day dealings of the household, fathers’ interest in the state of their offsprings’ souls extended to the their moral training as well. Margaret Tileston’s diary, which included financial accounts, also included a moral accounting with her father. ‘‘I told Papa of a lie I told him about a week ago, last Tuesday or Wednesday.’’ It was in such a grave consciousness of his paternal responsibility for the character of his daughter that Albert Browne wrote a long letter to his daughter Nellie as she was preparing to leave school, ending with the admonishment that ‘‘a true christian woman, should make it a religious duty, to blend gentleness and dignity, as to win love, and command respect.’’ Albert Browne had no doubt of his authority over his daughters’ transition to womanhood, just as over other family matters.

…The conservative Ladies’ Home Journal in 1895 attempted to re- affirm masculine authority in what must be seen as a reactionary challenge to feminized domesticity. In reasserting ‘‘The Father’s Domestic Headship,’’ the Reverend Charles H. Parkhurst, D.D., acknowledged a ‘‘great deal of domestic reciprocity’’ but pronounced that ‘‘the husband and father is the point of final determination.’’ He sought an analogy for the moral authority of hus- band and wife in anatomy: ‘‘The bone and sinew of character will probably be a quotation from the father, and the delicate tissue with which it is over- laid will as likely be a bequest from the mother.’’ This late-century contrast between the strong force of paternal dictum with the more diffuse ‘‘tissue’’ of the maternal presence acknowledged a long-standing reality—that absent fathers would need to make their authority felt concisely in worded dictates, rather than through the steady example of a more present maternity.

By 1895, however, when Parkhurst was writing, he was in many ways too late. His assertion of masculine hegemony in the household was regressive— and claimed an authority for fathers in their daughters’ lives that they could not count on. Those girls in the postwar years most likely to reveal their dependency on paternal dictates—for instance, the reformer Jane Addams growing up in the late 1860s and Mary Thomas away at school in Georgia in the 1870s—used their fathers as live models of correct conduct with good reason, for both their mothers were dead. If daughters empowered by the increasing moral authority of their mothers were beginning to feel free to challenge paternal prerogative, fathers themselves showed, over the nineteenth century, a diminishing sense of identification with their daughters.

Fathers like Robert E. Lee and Albert Browne took seriously their paternal responsibility for providing guidance to their maturing daughters, but that guidance often required setting a new form of reference—the inscribing of gender on girls defined previously by their status as children. Albert Browne’s advice to Nellie intended to prepare her for that new station. He reminded her that leaving school would require that she end her time as a ‘‘mere’’ schoolgirl to take her part ‘‘in the drama of life’’ as ‘‘a true woman.’’

Doing so would mean surrendering part of her genetic inheritance, and becoming only part of who she had been. For Browne admonished his daughter to emulate her mother’s qualities of ‘‘mildness and amenity, love and kindness,’’ so ‘‘as to temper and subdue any unruly and unamiable tendencies which may have come to you from your Father.’’ This gendered lesson, of course, was a distancing one which signaled the attenuation of a relationship as well as a stage of life.

Girls who had been accorded the freedom of childhood by fond fathers found this withdrawal of paternal identification to be painful. Writing in the late century, Mary Virginia Terhune recounted such a moment: ‘‘I have now before me the picture of myself at ten years of age, looking up from the back of my pony into my father’s face, as in the course of the morning ride we daily enjoyed together.’’

They had been conversing about politics, and the child had offered an apt analysis. ‘‘My comments called up a smile and a sigh. ‘‘ ‘Ah, my daughter! If you had been born a boy you would be invaluable to me!’’’ Terhune recalled the sense of destiny. ‘‘I hung my head, mute and crushed by a calamity past human remedy or prevention. There is a pain at my heart in the telling that renews the real grief of the moment.’’

Terhune had been taking advantage of a latitude granted to Victorian children of both sexes; she observed that some of ‘‘the finest women, physically and mentally,’’ were ‘‘famous romps in their youth.’’ Such girls, she noted, ‘‘during the tomboy stage lamented secretly or loudly that they were not their own brothers; regrets which were heartily seconded by much-enduring mothers and disappointed fathers.’’

Literary historians have observed that the 1860s saw the emergence of a new literary type—tomboys—who, as Barbara Sicherman has observed, were ‘‘not only tolerated but even admired—up to a point, the point at which they were expected to become women.’’ The extension of the rights to romp and play to girls confirmed their identity as children, a state that often ended surprisingly and arbitrarily, with fathers’ rejections.

Terhune’s memory of paternal humiliation recalls from earlier in the century young Elizabeth Cady [Stanton]’s realization that she could not remain the confidante and paternal protégé she had been as a child. In her perhaps mythic retelling of the tale, that youthful epiphany produced a sense of injury and injustice which would help to fuel the woman’s rights movement itself. Both Stanton and Terhune gained their sense of betrayal from the contrast between their spirited childhoods and their sense of gendered destiny descending to restrict them in their teens.

Mary Virginia Terhune concluded with an admonition to fathers which gave them responsibility for this curtailment of aspiration in the world: ‘‘Your girl wants to help her father and to be of use in the world. Make her feel that a woman’s life is worth living, and that she has begun it. Do not brand her from the cradle, ‘Exempt from field duty on account of physical disability.’’’ For both Stanton and Terhune, it was a shock to discover that life ‘‘as a romp,’’ ‘‘as a half-boy,’’ in fact as a Victorian child, was only temporary, conditional. Their fathers, who often had invited their daughters along in their common round, withdrew that invitation as they approached maturity.

By later in the century, urban fathers were often absent from the beginning of their daughters’ lives, working in shops and offices away from home. When Louisa May Alcott commented on this new order, as she did most pointedly in An Old-Fashioned Girl, she depicted the father of her modern family as absent, ‘‘a busy man, so intent on getting rich that he had no time to enjoy what he already possessed.’’ In a later passage, he ‘‘had been so busy getting rich, that he had not found time to teach his children to love him,’’ neglecting both sons and daughters. His son he ordered ‘‘about as if he was a born rebel,’’ and was always ‘‘lecturing him.’’ His daughters, however, he let ‘‘do just as they liked.’’

By today’s accounting, the Victorian father was notable for the extent to which he assumed and discharged a role as paterfamilias. However, that brief moment (if there ever was one) when fathers presided supremely over a small, nurturant family was in decline as soon as it was constituted. The movement of men’s labor outside of the home also removed them from their role as the preeminent guide and adjudicator of their daughters’ conduct. As women challenged men’s domestic authority, so did men increasingly abdicate, letting go of prerogatives they were not in place to oversee.

Girls remained dependent on fathers, however, a condition that their increasing participation in the labor force would diminish but never erase. Conservative advice givers made it their business to remind girls of this status. Multiple authors in the Ladies’ Home Journal, starting with the Journal ’s editor, Edward Bok, urged on girls their responsibilities to practice as apprentice wives in their ministrations to their fathers. ‘‘Helping her father to remember his daily engagements, seeing that his accounts are properly balanced, following his personal matters—all these things enter into the life of a girl when she becomes a wife,’’ Bok wrote.

A girl should not imagine ‘‘that her father represented a money-making machine, bound to take care of her and give her a good time,’’ the Journal ’s columnist Rush Ashmore added. It was the daughter who owed her father a good time. She should remember that it is ‘‘her honor to be his daughter’’ and greet him with a smile. ‘‘He who is out in the busy world earning the bread and butter doesn’t want to be met with complaints and cross looks; he wants to be greeted with a kiss, to be entertained by the mind which he has really formed by earning the money to pay the teachers to broaden and round it, and to be able to look at the bright, cheery girl, neat in her dress, sweet in her manner and ever ready to make merry those who are sad.’’

Increasingly teenage daughters’ approaches to fathers, like those of their mothers, focused on the interaction of two separate worlds. Advisers’ exhortations that daughters should be affectionate and ‘‘pet’’ their fathers rather than ‘‘obey’’ them suggested the ways in which the family had become an arena of intimate exchange rather than hierarchical responsibility. Increasingly fathers did not induct their growing daughters into adulthood but instead looked to their daughters to offer them an escape from that world.”

- Jane H. Hunter, “Houses, Families, Rooms of One’s Own.” in How Young Ladies Became Girls: The Victorian Origins of American Girlhood

[niuniente]

Glimmers family in regency au? Bow's? Am curious

This is such a wonderful question as I hadn’t yet thought anything for them, so it took me a little while to mull over a bit both of their families. These initial ideas can change in the future, depending how the au forms itself. I’ve long ago learned not to set anything in stone because characters and stories have their own minds :’D

GLIMMER IN REGENCY AU

Glimmer’s family is the royal family of the area with Queen Angella and King Micah.

Due the titles, they have to be close to Prime family. Angella has a bit odd vibe about them but keeps up the status quo for everyone as the Queen.

Glimmer is training to become the next queen as she’s the crown princess.

Due Glimmer being the single crown princess, Horde Prime has been considering sending one of his sons to propose her (for his own needs) but so far he hasn’t really acted upon it. Perhaps just hinted about it (and this is why Angella’s mom radar is screaming). I think would Horde Prime seriously try to get Glimmer marry one of his sons, it would be either Kadroh (Wrong Hordak) or “Pickles” (the clone who preaches about HP in the beginning of S5. He needs a name for this au lol)

Glimmer is not interested in marriage yet. Angella agrees but Micah is slowly getting to “Well, she has to be ready at some point, what happens if she doesn’t?”-fatherly worry.

They live rather far away from the rest of the nobility so Glimmer is at times bored and lonely.

She’s very loved by everyone and by all their subjects.

BOW’S FAMILY

Bow’s family is a wealthy merchant and historian family. All the Bow’s siblings are already out there living their own lives, expanding their family businesses.

Bow himself is interested in crafts and new technological things. This differs from rest of the family’s interest but he’s completely supported with his dreams.

Bow is expected to become a good craftsman. He loves to study new ways to enhance his inventions and crafting.

His family provides noble families (Catra, Adora, Primes, Entrapta etc.) with luxurious items and curiosities from all around the Etheria. They are important merchants and their many children help the family to find the best deals and provide the nobility even craziest requests.

Prime family values their knowledge and connections a lot

Horde Prime and Lance often have interesting intellectual conversations especially about art and history.

Prime family is the biggest client they have. Horde Prime often orders all kind of extravagant stuff from them to his gigantic manor.

They also provide things for the royal family. Bow and Glimmer come along really well and Lance is sure there’s a little crush there together with Angella (but they haven’t spoken about this to one another, only to their partner when Glimmer or Bow isn’t hearing)

[engelhexe]

The illusion of war between heart and mind ...

Posted on November 8th, 2016 by Antares - No Comments ↓

The illusion of war between heart and mind

In our overly intellectualized world, on the left, those who are 'subservient' to scientists think that the intuitive, precognitive, sentient nature of the heart is a fantasy. On the right, those who see this folly (in their rebellion) may try to give up the mind in favor of the heart. However, both are part of a holistic system. Trying to separate the heart from the mind is no less possible than trying to cut off the left hand from the right - both are connected by the trunk of our being. When both the mind and heart are embraced, the wisdom of the unified whole unfolds the blossom of the soul, which is deeply rooted in the soil of an increasingly empowered and inspired individual.

Posted in picture impressions

The stargate of Atlantis

Posted on November 6th, 2016 by Taygeta - No Comments ↓

By William Henry, found on bibliotecapleyades.net; translated, somewhat shortened and supplemented with historical notes by Taygeta

The British historian and novelist H.G.Wells put it most appropriately when he once stated: "There is magic in names and the most powerful of magical words is Atlantis ... it is as if the vision of this lost culture touched the most hidden thoughts of our soul."

Posted in Consciousness & Spirituality

meditation

Posted on November 5th, 2016 by Antares - No Comments ↓

************************************************** ************************************************** ************************ = & 0 = &

Posted in Meditation

Express yourself beyond words - find the Spiritual Samurai within you

Posted on November 4th, 2016 by Antares - No Comments ↓

found on wakeupworld, written by Open, translated by Antares

Often in spiritual circles we hear about "the importance of speaking the truth." However, many tell me that when they do this, as in the family or with friends, others often fight it off - they just keep working to put you in the slots of the "normal", they keep trying to get you in to pack that box that is convenient for yourself. On the verge of fully withdrawing from all those relationships, what choice do you have left?

Posted in Consciousness & Spirituality

Trust your own truth

Posted on November 3rd, 2016 by Taygeta - No Comments ↓

By Fiona Reilly on her blog fionareilly.co.uk; translated by Taygeta

Henry David Thoreau once said, "It is only when we are lost that we begin to understand ourselves." For some time now I have seriously asked myself what is true and how can I know what is really real? I was wondering what the purpose of life is and what is behind it. I felt lost and insecure about life and its meaning. What are we all doing here? I ended up finding that there are three main things that I am clear about:

Posted in Consciousness & Spirituality

The War in the Matrix - How Our Thoughts Are Programmed ...

Posted on November 2nd, 2016 by Antares - 1 comment ↓

... to create this sick reality

written by Sonia Barrett, DreamcatcherReality.com, translated by Antares

How much of what we see and think was created through visual and mental manipulation? This present reflection of the earth plane - the matrix of our perceived reality - is overshadowed by a projection of war.

For several years now, we - the inhabitants of this reality - have been receiving programming for war and disease through films, television video games and the media.

Posted in Spiritual Awakening & Realization

Use the elements fire, earth, air and water to meditate and to purify the energies

Posted on November 1st, 2016 by Antares - 1 comment ↓

Found on wakeupworld, written by Ian Brown, translated by Antares

There is something very primal about using the elements to purify our energetic bodies. Given that we are made of the same matter as Mother Earth, using the four physical elements is one way of connecting us to our roots. And ... we don't have to be in the middle of a forest to use the power of the elements ... for someone like me who lives in a city, using the four elements helps to cleanse the energetic body, to connect with and one Maintain ground to Gaia.

Posted in Nature & Healing, About Meditations

Four steps to tear yourself away from the matrix by healing your inner child

Posted on October 31, 2016 by Taygeta - 6 Comments ↓

By Magi - Mari Angelique Raphael on HumansAreFree.com; translated by Pippa

Regardless of how old we are, we all have a wonderful child buried inside us. That part of the child in you is starving and longing for you to remember them and bring them back. This part of the child of you keeps all your secrets and your hidden treasures.

These are the hidden treasures of lost talents, abilities, and strengths that have been repressed due to how you were brought up during your childhood and hurt and offended in limitless ways by the Matrix.

Posted in Consciousness & Spirituality, Healing

News, interesting facts and empowering from the German-language web from October 31, 2016

Posted on October 30, 2016 by Askella - No Comments ↓

1. Syria: The mask falls, the truth emerges

Posted on October 19, 2016 in Geopolitics by anonymous http://derwaechter.net/syrien-die-maske-fallt-die-wahrheit-kom-ans-licht

Posted in Others

The psychology of sharing the truth and awakening others ...

Posted on October 29, 2016 by Antares - 6 Comments ↓

... with a personal anecdote

In his last report on the Pleiadian situation, Cobra referred to this text:

written by Justin Deschamps on StillnessintheStorm, translated by Antares

Now that you are awake, how do you awaken others?

Sharing information with others is usually one of the first things we want to do when we wake up. But knowing the way and going the way are two very different things.

The following is an article that introduces some general truth-sharing techniques, along with a few things to avoid.

Posted in Spiritual Awakening & Realization

Amazing images of space colonies show how we could live in 2100

Posted on October 28, 2016 by Taygeta - No Comments ↓

A NASA study from the 1970s on possible future homes in space that could soon be realized

More and more ’soft disclosures’ can also be found in the mainstream press ...

There are innumerable ways in which people can live. Not only do humans inhabit all continents of the earth, including Antarctica, from whistleblowers about the Secret Space Program, we know that there have been colonies of terrestrial groups in the entire solar system for decades, including those of renegade civilizations, and possibly for a very long time Time.

We know from Cobra and other sources that there are spaceships the size of a planet in which our space siblings have been traveling in space for millions of years. And it is possible that with such spacefaring peoples, all of life takes place on one of these artificial planets. People are born there and spend their entire lives on these giant spheres which form their home and which are equipped with everything they need for a most comfortable and fulfilling life.

Posted in Disclosure, Science & Technology

Duality, polarity and the fallacy of the wrong dilemma

Posted on October 27, 2016 by Taygeta - 2 Comments ↓

by Nathan & Aline in Deus Nexus; translated by Pippa

“A wrong dilemma (also wrong opposition, wrong duality, black-and-white thinking, dichotomy, either-or-dilemma, dilemma of the excluded third party, dilemma of wrong choice, or dilemma of wrong alternative) is a kind of informal fallacy, the involves a situation in which only two alternatives are considered while there is actually at least one other option. The opposite of this dilemma is arguing with moderation. ”En.wikipedia [cf. also the definition at de.wikipedia]

Posted in Consciousness & Spirituality

‹Older posts

[thescarletlibrarian]

are u doing good, I love your enthusiasm and knowledge, it just feels as if alot of your comments on posts are slightly aggressive and I can’t tell if they’re coming from a place of genuine anger or not. No hate! Just checking in

Thanks for checking in and pointing that out, I forget how horrible reading people’s comments on your stuff is.  And it’s very kind of you.

Mostly I just see something scrolling by, it bugs me, I go on a rant that probably reads a LOT worse than it does in my head, and then I’m done.  It’s a lot of venting, and really, thank you for bringing it up, because instead of just commenting directly, I should probably go have my tantrum on my own post and just link to whatever set it off.  Especially since the venting is usually old baggage or unrelated crazy that gets set off.  I’ve always used Tumblr as a dumping ground to take out frustration on something--it started as bitching about red carpet clothes, so it was the most frivolous, unimportant thing, but I could get a good bitch going about it and then go deal with the Real Shit that built up the bitchiness when I felt better.  (Or not deal with it.  But that was the idea, anyway.)

Some of the “state of academia” type responses are genuine anger at an increasingly screwed-up situation that dominates my life and career...plans?  We’ll call them plans, like anything is an actual “plan” right now.  And a lot of that shit is Behind the Curtain of academia that most people never see.  I know what I knew and thought I knew before getting back here and seeing it, I know what non-academic friends and family think it is, and I’m kind of yanking on the curtain trying to make some of it more visible--especially because I keep seeing articles on “this is what’s going on in higher ed and how it should be fixed” and “this is how grad school is happening now and why that’s [any adjective you want]” circulating The Internet, and it’s like, bitch, please.  You’re not from around here, go opine at somebody else.

The 17th c. vs. medieval one I tapped out on my phone in righteous indignation and hit post without ever rereading it, and I let the full run-on sentence ADHD brain just GOOOOOOOO, which comes out looking insane and worked up and probably jumping around screaming or something, or just straight-up manic.  It IS a bit manic, I’m just trying to spew the manic somewhere it’s okay to make/be a mess.  

THAT being said, that one triggered the manic because there’s been so much “medieval” factoid and “things you didn’t know” and shit floating around what with the coronamolecule, much of it shitty misinformation directly or indirectly supporting stereotypes of medieval Europe that are straight up wrong, and it’s one of those personal DON”T GET ME STARTEDs that all the bad shit about the middle ages people focus on really does come from the goddamn 17th c., aka The Worst Century Ever.  Studying/teaching medieval stuff (is weird, I know, it’s fine, it’s my weird and I’m okay with it) you get some weird responses and assumptions from people.  Who often try to modernsplain things to you historians chucked out forty years ago and are thinking about very differently now, that you know about in detail because this is your life and you’ve published on this shit.  God, is that annoying, and all the stuff going around with plague and some of The Old Guard fandom ends up seeming like the entire damn internet is doing it.  And obviously this shit is important to me, I think it’s important to try and understand as much as we can about historical events and people and stuff because it defines the context of...everything, while keeping in mind that any understanding is an interpretation of what we see, a model, not The Past itself.  Really, really important.  Some people flip their shit over representations of the US Civil War, I flip my shit about people assuming the 14th c. Black Death was The One True Plague, for one thing, or that there’s been some intellectual war between Faith and Science for Time Immemorial when...no?  I’m not exactly sure when somebody came up with that one, I’m guessing 19th c. because a) 19th c ruins everything and b) that’s when the exceptionalization and cultifying of “science” as a Superior Form of Knowledge got rolling and the modern definitions of “science” gelled.  That narrative is part of the context of how contemporary people see the world, think about it, and act in it.  Yeah, it might seem like a big jump from “Age of Reason my ass” to refusing to wear masks or “believe in” vaccines and so on as political statements.  It is a big jump, because there’s a whole hell of a lot of little jumps in between.  But that’s why history--not only “what happened” but how “what happened” is represented, interpreted, and respond to--is relevant to everything.  And that idea is also really important to me, and I consider it one of my main jobs as a teacher to try and get that across and help students see and contextualize their world differently--even just a little bit without really thinking about it.  Which is why I think/talk about it a LOT.

TL;DR--thank you for being concerned, I really am losing my shit about things in a way that suggests something needs to be addressed.  I’m stressed out AF right now (more than usual...), some of that I can’t do anything about, but if the internet is setting me off like this, we probably need to take a break and see other people for a while.  I’m a bit too off-kilter for my liking, but I’m not falling over yet, though--again, it is very, very perceptive and kind of you to notice and check in on a stranger.  Please give yourself a gold star for today.  

Seriously, though, fuck the 17th c.

[qqueenofhades]

helllllloo. i wanted to first say that you are a wonderful human being, your presence on my dashboard brightens my day, you’re so kind to all your followers and i love seeing you interact with us! and i am sending you all the positive adult vibes your way ✨✨✨

second, there’s been a lot of chit chat lately about all the heartrender husband fans combusting over Simon Sears’ interview and the many many feelings that a certain grumpy bear gives us for his one (1) soft spot and ray of sunshine despite all his fragility and fear. i was wondering, if you had any thoughts on how it looks on the flip side for fedyor? i cant imagine being married to the General’s right hand man is easy (it’s both the safest and most dangerous place for Ivan to be).

Okay first of all, the first part of your ask is so sweet that I read it like three different times and was like wow are u sure. Second, boy oh boy can I use those positive adult vibes (even if they sound slightly like a porno 😂) because it has been the few weeks from hell. Job rejections, family health drama, moving hassle, and other such nonsense, to the point where if either myself or a member of my family has inadvertently insulted a leprechaun, I hereby apologise deeply and unreservedly on our behalf. Sheesh.

Anyway, never mind all that. We are indeed losing our minds slightly over said interview, for obvious reasons, but yes, Fedyor. Obviously he is Ivan's little ray of sunshine and one (1) weakness and the person he allowed himself to fall in love with despite losing the rest of his family, all of which are ship dynamics that drive me/us promptly feral. I definitely feel, however, that Fedyor has plenty of ferocity of his own, which is one of the reasons Ivan is drawn to him. Book!Fedyor tells Alina in the carriage scene that he became a Heartrender instead of a Healer (despite being of a Healing temperament) because he thought that he could do more good for people as a soldier, including when he has to kill. He also says that being a Corporalki is the hardest of all Grisha paths and requires the most training and study. I imagine that Fedyor was pretty good especially at the book learning part of his training, is interested in and dedicated to Grisha lore and history, and about finding way to use that beyond the obvious and making the Grisha appreciate who they are as a people and what their purpose in Ravka really is. And I'm not just saying that because I am also a historian and like to project onto my favorite characters. Shh.

Fedyor is obviously the total opposite of Ivan, personality-wise, but I think that is also why they complement each other. Fedyor helps Ivan lighten tf up and eat a pink cookie at a party, and Ivan helps Fedyor cut directly through the bullshit when he needs to. Living in the Little Palace and around the royal court, as members of General Kirigan's inner circle, obviously requires a touch for politics and diplomacy that Fedyor is far better at than Ivan, but that means his instinct is likewise to smile and humor people even when he wants to tell them to fuck off. Cue Ivan coming along and telling them to fuck off, which means they can blame Ivan for it and not Fedyor, and Ivan is perfectly 100% fine with everyone thinking he is the biggest grump to ever grump, since the only people whose opinions he cares about are Kirigan and Fedyor. Oh Ivan.

Fedyor is also outgoing and likes to have fun and is probably on good terms with most of his compatriots. He's clearly friends with Nadia since we see them arm in arm at the winter fete in mlm/wlw solidarity. He is also Ivan's Anger Translator, and if people have something they want to tell Ivan, they have a bad habit of telling Fedyor instead and trusting him to pass it on, rather than talking to Ivan themselves. (Fedyor: honey do you think this is even a slight problem? Ivan: no what are you talking about, it's great.)

I do think that Fedyor is just as frightened of losing Ivan as Ivan is of losing him, though for different reasons. It helps for him that they're usually in the field together (judging by his comment to Kirigan in 1x06 assuming that he and Ivan are going after Nina together) and facing the same things and same danger, even if it causes Ivan anxiety for this exact reason. I do appreciate that none of us have bothered to include any homophobia in Grisha culture, or exclude the possibility that Ivan and Fedyor could indeed be married in a church ceremony in the Ravkan liturgy. There's probably some side eye toward their relationship in wider Ravkan society, sure, but that is also tied up with being Grisha and the prejudices that they already face for being different. Behind the walls of the Little Palace, though, that is not really a factor and not something that they have to deal with. People are surprised that Fedyor and Ivan are together not because they're both men, but because "you're so nice and he is so... Ivan..."

Fedyor: I know, I know. But I love him anyway.

I also think that Fedyor is deeply protective of Ivan, not least because he is the only one who knows the truth about him being fragile and losing loved ones and everything else that he has been through, which is why one of my favorite headcanons is Fedyor going absolutely apeshit if Ivan is ever seriously hurt. Likewise, you can call Ivan grumpy in a joking fashion, and Fedyor will chuckle and agree with you, but anything else and his eyes turn red and the Heartrending hands come out like what u say about my husband bitch. Only Fedyor is allowed to roast Ivan in depth at all, according to Fedyor, and he will Let You Know if you transgress.

(Also why I want Ivan and Fedyor to meet the Crows again, Ivan sees Jesper and goes NEMESIS, and Fedyor just goes MURDER!!!)

Anyway. I'm love them. The end.

[flame-and-vyski-tricks]

Life Less Ordinary

“The night you came into my life Well, it took the bones of me Took the bones of me. You blew away my storm and strife And shook the bones of me Shook the bones of me”

- Life Less Ordinary, Carbon Leaf

Ever since I started looking into Lokeanism over a year ago, I noticed how comfortable Lokeans are with talking about themselves in the tag, sharing themselves and their experiences. I figures, since I’m starting this blog to parse my own relationship with Loki, that it’d be appropriate to talk about myself a bit, and well, to start with the beginning.

So, greetings everyone. You can call me Vyski, Jay, or JD. I’m a 28yo non-binary(or gender fluid? idk) non-professional artist, professional historian. My favorite pronouns are Xe/Xem/Xyr, but They/Them is fine too. Honestly I’ll accept any pronoun. I’ve been married almost a year, and we live with three of our friends from college in a pretty ramshackle house outside Washington, DC. I also have a precious 8yo Corgi!

As far as interests, I love sewing and embroidery, playing video games (horror and action RPGs are my favorites), watching anime, and studying both folklore and fandom. I also collect both resin and vinyl ball-jointed dolls. Oh, and I’m a furry. 

Loki came into my life kind of like a tidal wave. Starting as a ripple, a mention, an interest in Marvel’s Loki, then an increasing magnitude. I attend a major SCA event (Pennsic) and I felt a connection to the norse traditions there. God of War’s portrayal of Loki I latched on to....sudden urges to name my favorite doll Loki or some variation. I found great joy in learning about Loki’s queerness. It all culminated a year ago last May, when I heard the Carbon Leaf song in my head and felt a connection to Loki so strongly I was left shivering and crying.

So, I reached out to them, and they reached back. Since then I’ve tried to forge a relationship with Loki, but without much success. Which brings me to the reason behind this blog.

I am not religious or spiritual. My parents, having been raised in Christian families, both went agnostic/atheist as adults, and raised me as such. In the retrospect they chose a pretty awful place to raise a child as agnostic. Despite being outside of the Deep South, the part of Virginia I grew up in is horrendously Bible Belt conservative. Hell, bible study was a weekly event at my elementary school (in a trailer just far enough off school property for it to not be a crime). I was ostracized and actively bullied because I wasn’t Christian.

Suffice to say I quite abhorred Christianity for most of my life, and stayed away from all organized religion as a cautionary measure. I’ve since matured enough to recognize that just because I was treated like shit by Christians doesn’t mean all of them are bad, and just because religion or spirituality wasn’t for me didn’t make it inherently bad. And for a long time that’s how things have been.

But, after exploring the various paganism and witchcraft tags here on tumblr and well, feeling an attraction to it, I began to seriously consider if I could follow a deity, and Loki found me. And I’ve kinda been floundering in it.

I just never feel like I know what I’m doing---how do I pray? how do I make offerings? how to i cast a circle? how do I purify my space? how do I talk to my god(s)? how do I know they’re listening? how do I know they’re real?

I’ve tried off and on to talk more earnestly to Loki, and I’m certain my lack of consistency and insecurity wore on them. Finally I caved and asked for an outside source to communicate with Loki on my behalf, to ask if they really even wanted this, and what I needed to do. 

I was told that yes, Loki wanted me, and that I should get creative. Honestly I could have cried. Loki wants me. They care about me! And I can take my own approach. I can forge my own path and my own relationship with my deity. It feels both scary and incredible to say that.

So here we are. I’m going to use this blog hopefully as a space to share and reflect on my experiences, and to make myself comfortable with the fact that I have found a deity, and that I am in fact, a Lokean. I have no idea how to tell my husband or friends or family, but hopefully, through this blog and with Loki, I’ll figure that out.

I had hoped that a year ago was my real starting point on this journey, but it seems I needed more time to become comfortable with the notion. 

Here’s to the real beginning of a new journey.

[aijcw]

Hello

Hi, this is a blog that will be used to track and document my college experiences from my second year on. As of now, I am a Marketing major which is under the business school... Please hold your laughter and scoffing at my major choice (directed at you STEM majors). Currently I have just successfully completed my first year in college. I think that there are several big takeaways from my first two semesters. 

FIRST: Academics always trump extracurriculars

Being able to balance your mental health, academics, and any extracurriculars is extremely important. Coming from an International Baccalaureate Program, I did not think that school would be super challenging for me. I was also able to acquire leadership positions at my high school fairly easily, but as College is a lot bigger, I panicked and jumped at as many possibilities as possible. This included picking up the position of Marketing Director for a residence hall organization, videographer for a Chinese American organization, club rowing, and even a MGC sorority (rushing for the first semester and then becoming historian and webmaster for the second semester). In my first semester, I took 15 credits: Macroeconomics, Experiencing Music, Survey of Calculus 1, a course required by my university, and Introduction to Business. The two hardest courses here then were for sure Macroeconomics and Survey of Calc. But mostly Survey of Calc, as I found Macro to be a relatively easy class that did not require me to study weeks in advance to perform well on the exams. Calculus was hard for me from the beginning to the middle of the semester, I truly did not know what I was doing and was very frustrated about this. However, I was also juggling so many other extracurriculars and organizations that had time commitment requirements. Reflecting back on this, I see that I prioritized my extracurricular organizations and spent a majority of my time completing tasks for my organizations over studying for my exams. Remember when I said that Macro was easy? Yeah, it was definitely a class that came easily to me, but I finished that class 1% off from an A-. After actually dedicating time to my calc class, the information finally started to click and make sense after many many practice problems. However, I also finished that class off 1% away from an A-. Interesting how that works, huh? I still look back at that semester bitterly as I have concluded that had I not been overly involved in so many different organizations, I would have been able to allocate more of my time for studying or going to office hours and might have been able to get an A or an A+ in both of those classes.  As my second semester is coming to an end, I realized that no matter how bitter I was about my almost A’s, that I ran into the same exact problem from my first semester in my second semester. I was still involved in all of the same organizations, excluding rowing, too many events happened late at night for many of my organizations and would conflict with the early practice times (I would sometimes only get 3 hours of sleep). And while yes, I could argue that I still was super involved, this second semester still shows the same result as my first: I prioritize my extracurriculars over my academics. As a person that prided themselves on taking academics very seriously, this first year at college seemed to show a complete 180 from the previous 12 years of schooling that I had done.  That being said, I have turned down all leadership positions in my organizations to better focus on my academics without having the weekly officership requirements. I have also cut down on the organizations that I am involved in to just my sorority, since (lol) that is not something that I want to just drop as it is an organization that I take a lot of pride in and enjoy a lot, much to my parents’ dismay. However, with this next semester and academic school year coming up, I am utilizing more efficient ways to schedule things in and will actually schedule in study times into my schedule. I plan on making use of both my bullet journal and google calendars as I will get visual notifications from both and phone notifications from my calendar events. 

SECOND: Mental health always trumps everything

Sometimes things just don’t work out. Whether it be relationship related, organization related, or school related. The most important thing is that you do what is actually best for you. This second semester as I continued to overexert myself, I actually had a mental breakdown in front of some board members before going to another organization’s events. Earlier that day, my parents had come to visit me to tour where I would be moving to for the next school year. While it was very nice seeing them again, they ended up cutting their visit short because I had little to no energy to actually interact with them. I was so tired from doing a late night event for one of my organizations and had barely gotten any sleep that night. So when they left I took a nap for about 30 minutes before having to get up and go to, you guessed it, a board meeting. As I am about a 24 minute walk from main campus, I ended up crying through those 24 minutes because of how mentally unhappy I was. This is what people like to refer to as “burnout”. I had been to every single required event despite there being a system where I could switch off with other people to go to those events. Why? I enjoy being social, I enjoy supporting friends, and at this point, I was so lonely and sad, that going to these events made me happy because it felt like I was temporarily eased of my sadness and my loneliness. As I type this I realize how sad that makes me sound, oh boy. But yes, burnout is a very real problem that many people can experience given enough time for build up and improper time management. It is okay to say no to things. It is okay to reach out to others when you need help. There is no such thing as over communication. The worst thing about this burnout experience was that I had not communicated with my employer, my organizations, nor my friends about how much I had going on. I only told them after I had my mental breakdown. It felt like a surge of different emotions were coming out of me all at the same time. At first I was sad, and then those sad tears turned into anger. Anger over how my organizations were requiring so much, anger over people that weren’t pulling their weight, and anger over how I had let myself get to this point.   The most interesting thing about this entire experience perhaps, is that I tend to fill my void of sadness or emptiness with work and this time, the work happened to be for my organizations. Something had happened at the beginning of the second semester that had made me really kind of sad. To take my mind off of things I set my mind on something different like my organizations. This actually worked spectacularly well at keeping my sadness away, and so I continued to give my all into each organization. However, towards the end of the semester, I found that I had been hurting myself mentally by exhausting myself so much. You need to take self care days, you need to take care of yourself and learn to love yourself. Only then can you contribute and partake in other external activities. If your mental health and state are not doing well, then there is no way that you can give back to others and give be able to give back well.  Something small that I picked up this second semester was watching little retanking videos before I slept. They were very peaceful and were able to help put me at ease before sleeping.  That being said, I feel like another main contributing factor to my decline in mental health was that I procrastinated... a lot. Very bad yes. All of these factors combined to make one huge toxic cocktail type deal. 

THIRD: Staying proactive and productive can help you

It is so important to keep track of when assignments and exams are due. During this semester, I had a few... surprise... exams come up that were definitely not a welcomed surprise. This would make me stress study for exams and cram for two days straight. This is not fun. Pulling all nighters is not the way to go if you can avoid it. This second semester, I have missed small quizzes because of my lack of planning and scheduling. While I still ended up getting an A in that class, my stress would have been significantly reduced had I planned ahead and stuck to the schedule that I would have made. I feel like this takeaway is pretty straight forward and there isn’t really too much to talk about regarding this topic as it is also pretty self-explanatory.