#i should (hopefully) be able to finish the second draft of chapter 4 by the end of the month

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

3 chapters out of 4 done!!! This fic has gotten so long lmaooo how did I think this would be done before the movie

[corpupine]

A Long-Awaited Update

I’ve been putting off writing this update for a while now. Not because I’m suffering or struggling at all—life is actually really good! It’s had some truly awful, crappy stuff mixed in, but for the most part my life is very happy. The reason I’ve been putting this off is that I really don’t know where to start. Most of you will have noticed that I stopped posting updates of NemaTale on here sometime last year. There are a couple of reasons for that that I want to explain, then I want to move on to life updates and what’s coming next for NemaTale.

First: Why did I stop posting on Deviantart?

There’s no special reason or controversy here. I post on three sites: Deviantart, Tumblr, and Tapas. Both Tumblr and Tapas offer a scheduling system so that posts can be queued in advance. I was able to schedule posts on those two sites, but Deviantart doesn’t have that function, so each time there was an update I had to go in and manually enter all the information. As my life got more and more hectic (which will be explained a little bit more in the life updates section), I found that I was forgetting to update on Deviantart. I kept on putting it off, figuring I’d get around to it eventually. But uh, whoops—the end of Chapter 4 has been posted everywhere but on Deviantart! I’ll get those last pages up and running soon, but I wanted to offer some sort of explanation before I did so.

(As a side note: I haven't been keeping up with updating the links between pages on Tumblr, for a similar reason. I'll hopefully get those up and going soon so you guys can read the comic more easily on here.)

Second: What’s going on with Corpupine?

So much, you guys. Soooo much, and most of it is—like I said—truly wonderful. I haven’t been posting updates about my life hardly at all, and I want to maintain privacy, but here’s a few fun things I wanted to tell you about:

-Got a big girl job working for a local publishing company (I’m an editor by day and I love it, but it’s very time and energy consuming)

-Helped my wonderful husband self publish a book (that I edited, naturally)

-Moved to a different city

-Finally, finally finished a draft for a novel I’ve been tinkering with for 9 years

Oh, and also, this:

Yes, in what may be the best (accidentally) kept secret ever, I’m a few months away from giving birth to a baby girl. That has been the main reason for my absence online as my husband and I have been preparing for her arrival. This baby has been very much something we have hoped for, and it took longer than we expected to get this far, so we are very happy. We are over the moon excited, a little freaked out, and ready to snuggle her sooo good.

So with that bombshell dropped, let’s talk a little bit more about the stuff you’re all really here for.

What’s next for NemaTale?

Months before I got pregnant, I had already finished Chapter 5. The script for chapter 6 is about 50% written—the broad strokes are there, I just need to nail down the dialogue. Then I started my big-girl job, and life started to get a little out of control. I was incredibly busy all the time with my job, and helping my husband with his book, and I really wanted to start using any free time just to rest and recuperate. I think that was the best choice for me; too much on my plate would have probably led me to have a nervous breakdown, haha. As it is, I’m doing well emotionally, but . . . I haven’t drawn anything since about June of last year. So we’ve got Chapter 5, totally finished and just waiting to be queued up; chapter 6, partially written; aaaaand then a big black void in front of me. (Why does that word feel so . . . familiar?) That should be scary to me, but it’s not. I’ve accomplished a lot, even if I haven’t progressed on the comic. I’m proud of myself and how far I’ve come. But what does that mean for you guys?

Here's the lowdown: I’m giving birth soon. I’m not going to be able to commit to any sort of comic goals in the near future. I’m not even sure what the future of NemaTale looks like, but I do know this: I still love this story. I don’t want to stop creating it, but now’s not the right time for me to be focusing on that. Sometimes life just gets too full to do everything on the list. I just can’t keep this at the top of my list for now.

Chapter 5 is, as I’ve said, completely ready to go (except for the chapter cover, which I haven’t made yet.) So I’m going to put this choice out to you guys. What do you want? Do you want me to go ahead and post chapter 5 over the next few months and then I’ll just see you all when I see you, somewhere down the line? Or do you want me to wait to post chapter 5 until there is also a chapter 6 officially on the way? That could take many, many months, so be aware of that.

I love the interactions I have with all of you. I’d love to keep having them, even if I won’t be able to post new stuff beyond chapter 5 for a while. But I really am okay doing whatever you guys think is best with regards to posting chapter 5. Just let me know in the comments below.

All right, I think that’s everything. I appreciate your patience with me in all this. In the past year, so much has happened. My husband and I have gone on adventures. I turned twenty-five and I��m finally starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I tragically lost one dear relative and for a while we thought we were going to lose another one—which, miraculously, we haven’t. Spring is here, and there’s a little girl kicking me in the ribs as I write this. Life is good.

[hopeatermeetsgodzilla]

Chapter 4

“Human.” Alan Jonah turned toward the voice. Ghidorah was back, the three pair of black eyes and crescent moon marking on his forehead looming over him and contrasting the golden color of the shimmering specter. “I’ve returned to update myself on the situation. When are you going to free I and my servants?”

“Soon enough, we already have a plan made.” Jonah tried reassuring the specter, who tsk-ed.

“Really?” The soul took on a wisp-like form for a moment, getting away from Jonah as he got up only to reform, what the terrorist could only assume to be an imitation of the Titan’s hair floating around him like a halo. “Because it sounds to me like you’re making excuses for not being capable of freeing me.”

(Ichi might be stuck projecting his soul outside of his body to manipulate some lowly humans into helping him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun with it. It also meant he had to lie about his brothers being slaves instead of what made two thirds of his being, but it had been San’s idea and Ni had seconded it, their ground being that they didn’t want some human to try and use their bond as a weakness.)

“We do have a plan.” Jonah hissed through gritted teeth, Ghidorah giggling. “It’s just taking us time to put it into motion. If you would please follow me.”

Jonah started walking down a corridor of the hijacked Monarch base, the specter following him in his wisp form, apparently to avoid being seen by people he had no business with. They arrived in a room full of computers, the only person here a dark-skinned woman with her hair in a bun as Ghidorah switched back to something more humanoid.

“Kane?” The woman turned toward them, gasping in surprise when she saw Ghidorah, who’s only reaction was to tilt his head to the side inquisitively. “This is King Ghidorah. It turns out that Titans can project themselves outside of their bodies, and this is Titan we’re attempting to free.”

Upon seeing the golden specter’s inquisitive head tilt, Emily got up, back straight and shoulders squared, and bowed her head. “M- My name is Emily Kane. I am a hacker of the Titan Liberation Front, as well as one of it’s spies and biological engineers. It’s an honor to meet you, King Ghidorah.”

Ghidorah straightened his head, one hand reaching out to make Emily stand straight again. “You can rise, and the information is appreciated. Now, I believe your king wanted you to show me how you were going to free my body from it’s icy prison?”

(Ichi hadn’t tilted his head in confusion to know who the human woman was. He had because he thought the bugs valued kindness in a leader. Emotionally speaking, this Emily radiated warmth, while the king of this little group was as cold as the ice his brothers and he were imprisoned in.)

“That is right!” Emily declared, sitting bakck down and starting to type on her computers. “Now, I think Monarch got themselves a new chief programmer because I kept bumping into firewalls and redirections and passwords demands at some point we got a virus that would make the Power Rangers theme song play over the speakers non-stop-”

“Get to the point, Kane.”

“While I appreciate your efforts to explain modern human technology, it’s ultimately irrelevant to me.”

“... right. We eventually got some footage of yesterday.” She explained. “Monarch’s most recent addition, and I have reasons to believe he’s also the most dangerous, Julian Cyan Florès, finished the ORCA prototype yesterday. Here’s the footage.”

-

“- and if you turn the dial here-” Florès pointed at a dial with numbers circling it. “-you can either amplify or diminish the Titans bioacoustic’s imitations. Which is good, because the only sound the prototype can make is one that essentially means ‘stand down, I’m in charge here’, and the louder it gets, the more forceful it is.”

“On which Titan are you guys going to test it?” A soldier stationed at Castle Bravo asked from the back of the control room.

“Hopefully, with one that’s benevolent, like the Infant Titan, and not a bitch like the Mara Titan.” Florès deadpanned. “He might be the shortest of the documented Titans, but that motherfucker is still four and a half meters tall and filled with impotent rage, and he can fly and takes baths in lava.” 

“For the Americans in here, that’s roughly a little under fifteen feet tall.” Coleman informed them, getting up as Florès sat back down. “Just with this, we have a tool that will allow us to keep the Titans away from major cities when they start awakening en masse. Any questions?” A beat, then someone raised their hand. “Emma?”

“What are the future plans for the ORCA?” Dr Russell asked, tilting her head in interest.

“Well, firstly: a widespread security system tailored for cities to keep the Titans from rampaging through them, with enough options to keep them at bay.” Coleman started. “This system will use a sound bank that means ‘our territory’. Hopefully, it’ll be enough until a more concrete anti-Titan security system can be found.”

“We’re considering electro-magnetism shields.”  Florès added from his seat, Coleman nodding.

“What about communication with the Titans?” Dr Graham asked.

“Excellent question; Florès, I’m letting you take the helm again.”

“Thank you, Coleman.” The younger man stated as he got back up. “My current plan for now is that, once we have more material to work with, to create an audio-helmet with a microphone.” Florès started. “After that, I would create a rudimentary translation program that should, at least, allow us to communicate back and fort knowing the other’s intent using the final. That would be the final ORCA.” 

“That doesn’t seem very ideal-”

“Ideally, however,” Florès snapped at Stanton, his tone clearly getting the ‘I wasn’t finished’ message across. “I would scrap the ORCA all together and create a new form of Titan communication called the All-Speak, which would allow us to have direct and concise discussions with Titans, amongst other thing!”

“And how much,” Colonel Foster started, her hand going back down, “would both of these projects cost?”

“The ORCA would just require an increase in resources and maybe some additional staff.” Florès started. “The biggest setback will be getting all of the Titans sound to put into it, but once the first official model is complete, we should be able to mass-produce it. As for the All-Speak...” the latino laughed nervously. “Let’s just say the first draft was ‘small computer that connects to your brain’ and it got more complicated from here.”

Everyone turned toward Serizawa, who seemed deep in thought. “For now,” Monarch’s scientist started. “Focus on perfecting the ORCA. If it’s a success, we’ll consider whether or not to start work on the All-Speak.”

“That’s reasonable.” Foster approved, nodding her head as Florès sighed in relief.

“In the meantime, Florès? If you wish to work on the All-Speak as a personal project, feel free to-” 

“DR. SERIZAWA!” A scientist that had stayed at their post suddenly exclaimed, interrupting the man. “THE TITAN ON IWATO ISLAND IS WAKING UP-”

-

“Turn it off.” Ghidorah told Emily, who just acquiesced and proceeded to do so. It wouldn’t do to anger a god, after all.

Jonah turned toward Ghidorah’s specter, gesturing at the screen. “This is how we’re planning to free you: one of scientists in Monarch has a daughter. We kidnap and hold the daughter for ransom, and force the scientist to steal the ORCA and bring it here. We’ll then use the ORCA to send a wake up call to your body.”

“Yes, that would work.” Ghidorah said after a short moment of thinking. “If there is something I hate above all else, it’s receiving orders. Make sure the sound is loud to pierce through the ice.”

“And when that happens,” Jonah started, chuckling, “You will get rid of the Titans that have imprisoned you, and existence will bow down at our feet.”

(Our? Ichi Ghidorah would’ve scoffed at the insinuation that he and this lowly human were equals if it wasn’t so amusing. These humans, who seemed convinced he and his brothers were benevolent and wanted to help them, would find out soon enough just why their ancestors where too scared to even speak the name of the Golden Demise.)

“Oh, don’t worry.” Ghidorah started in a voice Emily could recognize as ‘forced neutrality’ “Humanity will get everything that’s coming to it.”

-

Rodan woke up in a startle, his eyes staring up at the starry skies. He slowly sat up at the edge of his nest, frowning in a deeply-seated worry he couldn’t explain. 

His chest was aching, especially the lightning scar one the Death Song of the Three Storms left him a few thousands of years ago right where is heart was, back when he was still just a regular earth Fowl and not the Fire Demon.

Not as a warning, but as a reminder.

You’re centuries too early for us. Come back when you’re worth looking at.

He shook off the impression that something was terribly, terribly wrong, and went back to sleep.

[captcas]

Worth Fighting For

WORTH FIGHTING FOR by capthamm

Killian “Hook” Jones is a dominate up and comer in the UFC while Emma “The Savior” Swan’s career was cut short. When Hook’s manager moves up and the office brings in UFC’s youngest legend to keep him in check, will either of them be able to handle it?

read on ao3 // tumblr: ch 1/ ch 2

[CHAPTER 3/?]

Saturday night brings their monthly movie/game night and Emma has never been more grateful for a distraction. Ruby and the Nolans will come over around 6 o’clock and Henry is practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. Tonight’s theme is Star Wars and this will be Henry’s official introduction to the series; at David’s insistence they’re starting with A New Hope and going release order from there. They’re also going to play Star Wars trivia which Henry will undoubtedly suck at.

Should be a fun night all around.

And it was, until Henry went to bed and the “adults” got to talking.

Ruby cracks another beer and turns to Emma, “So, Emma, you’ve got probably the coolest new job in the world and you haven’t said jack shit.”

She shoots Ruby an icy glare as David and MM stop bickering over whether or not Kylo Ren deserved a redemption arc to hear what Emma has to say.

Emma sighs, “It’s going alright. All the onboarding is underway and between the perks, benefits, and pay, Henry should be set for life.” She’s been fortunate to live off her winnings for the past nine years, being mindful of money and not giving into the lifestyle of frivolous spending many fighters take on, but -even her friends know- she doesn’t have a money tree.

The looks on their faces when she mentions Henry being set for life could melt 1000 Olafs. When she arrived at Ruth Nolan’s home at the age of 16, she never expected to find a family. Hardened by a life too lived for anyone her age, Emma assumed they’d be like every other foster home and use her for the money. To this day, she’s never been so happy to be wrong.

Emma’s not sure what twist of fate landed an orphan with such a great support system, but she’ll be forever grateful. David took to the “protective brother” role immediately. Soon after Emma moved in, he met Mary Margaret (fireworks and butterflies and all that mumbo jumbo) who introduced them to Ruby. They’re small, and maybe a bit scrappy, but they’re family.

She breaks out of her thoughts and returns to the present, “I will need some babysitting though; I’m required to attend each of my client’s Fight Nights. But overall it’s great, really!”

She hopes she squeaked away without having to mention Jones at all but the glint in Ruby’s eye tells her otherwise. “Ok that’s all fine and dandy,” Mary Margaret shoots Ruby an incredulous look, warning her to tread carefully, but Ruby ignores her and continues, “but who’s the client?”

David is giving her a protective father vibe, Ms is practically vibrating, and she's pretty sure Ruby is salivating. Emma sighs realizing she shouldn’t postpone the inevitable, “Killian Jones.”

Ruby practically drops her drink and Mary Margaret squeals, David rolls his eyes and turns back to the TV where SportsCenter has been playing in the background. Mary Margaret beats Ruby to the punch, “THE Killian Jones?! As in Killian “Hook” Jones?!”

Emma nods, standing up to refill the only slightly empty chip bowl in front of her. She knew this was going to happen and she wasn’t exactly looking forward to her friends thirsting over her client– client… right.

Ruby speaks next, “Well that is probably the best case scenario. Do you think he can get us tickets? Have you met him? Is he as gorgeous in person as he is on TV? Can we meet him?”

Emma, now glad she’s in the kitchen with space to breathe, is starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. She knows Ms can sense it and is unsurprised when she speaks next,“For Christ’s sake Ruby let her breathe. She’s probably only had her initial meeting with him.”

Ruby seems to get the hint and it doesn’t take long before Ms is in the kitchen helping Emma pick up the leftover pizza, “We’re happy for you, Emma. He’s a huge client for them, they obviously trust you to do a good job.” Emma nods in thanks and they both head back into the living room. Her sister-in-law’s warmth always calms her (and Ruby) down which allows David to jump in and change the subject to the coverage of some football player’s arrest on SportsCenter. Emma finally catches a breath and realizes just how lucky she is for the friend dynamic they have before settling in to debate if this James Spencer kid should still be eligible for the draft.

As she lays in bed that night, Ms’ words ring through her head. Despite the rollercoaster of emotions she’s been feeling, Killian is a huge client, one that was formerly represented by a namesake for the company. This re energizes her a bit and helps her fall asleep, actually excited for what's to come.

She wakes up Sunday morning and makes Henry some pancakes and declares it a lazy Sunday. Henry happily obliged, cuddling up on the couch with The Deathly Hallows while Emma threw on some shitty reality TV.

. . .

When her alarm rings Monday morning, Emma pulls her pillow over her head like some teenager from one of those Disney Channel movies.

It takes her a second to remember what day it is and why she’s up at this godforsaken hour.

Killian Jones. Right.

She audibly groans before rolling out of bed and getting ready for the day. Between her shower and breakfast she gets Henry up. School starts at 8 so he’s technically running a bit behind but he’ll make it on the bus in time… hopefully.

She’s pouring him a bowl of cereal when he comes out of his room zipping up his sweater and rubbing his eyes.

“Hey, kid. Coco Puffs or Fruit Loops?” He mumbles some semblance of what she thinks is Fruit Loops so she pours the bowl and slides it across the kitchen island. He smiles in thanks as she pours her own bowl and sits beside him.

“So today’s the big day?”

She didn’t tell Henry about her new client and when she spoke to the Nolan’s and Ruby, he was definitely supposed to be sleeping. “How could you possibly know that?”

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are and I’m not as tired as you think I am.” He yawns as if to punctuate his point.

“Uh huh, sure, kid.” He gives her a knowing glance and she realizes she’s not getting out of this. She runs her hands over her face and sighs, “Yes, today is the first meeting and I’m only slightly nervous to fu— screw this whole thing up.”

Henry chuckles at her attempted censorship (she never said she was a perfect parent), “You’ll be great, Mom, and Hook seems like a decent enough guy. I’m sure he won’t give you too much trouble.”

She stares at Henry a bit dumbfounded. It shocks her everyday how old he’s getting– nine going on nineteen for sure.  “Are you hiding some Weasley’s Extendable Ears in your room or something? Are you a wizard? Should you be at Hogwarts?” Emma is very obviously trying to derail this conversation but it works, setting Henry off about how he’s finally on the sixth book and explaining the concept of a horcrux.

Oh, her sweet summer child.

God, maybe he is old enough for UFC.

When did that happen?

She ushers Henry to the bus, promising him they’ll watch the sixth movie tonight if he finishes the book today and is to school on time. It’s only September and he can’t be late three times in the first month of school. She kisses his forehead and he wishes her good luck.

Sometimes she wonders how such a screw up ended up with the perfect kid.

After cleaning up the kitchen, Emma finishes getting ready. She jumps on the subway and finds herself at the office with a half hour to spare. She’s never early so she chalks it up to nerves and uses the time to prep for this meeting.

Over the weekend she received multiple emails from Gold’s team surrounding a possible spot for Killian on the card for the pay-per-view Fight Night in November.

A pay-per-view card. She did enough research about Killian this weekend to know that would be his first.

Emma feels like she’s been thrown into the deep end before being taught how to swim.

Go big or go home.

She did a lot of research about Killian and learned practically nothing. She knows he came here from London almost ten years ago and that his team includes his head trainer Robin (husband of now former manager Regina Mills), and three other men named Will Scarlett, August Booth, and William Smee (he’s really selling it with that whole Hook theme). Other than that all she found was his record and highlights. He’s 6-0 which is insane for only being in the circuit for a year and a half– fighters are usually limited to three, maybe four fights a year.

4 of his 6 are knockouts.

He’s good… really good.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a light tapping on the edge of her cubicle. She glances up to find none other than the man himself. She can’t help but double take.

Real professional, Emma.

She's only ever seen him in the ring, at the gym, or dressed up for a business meeting. She’s not sure what she expected, but a leather jacket and pants that fit him like his own skin definitely weren’t it.

He looks good… really good.

Emma snaps herself out of it, “Hi, Mr. Jones, just give me a moment and we can head to the conference room.”

“It’s Killian, love, please.” She notices he winces at the seemingly habitual pet name. Emma ignores the ring of disappointment that runs through her gut at the realization that it may not be reserved for her. “A conference room’s a bit formal, don’t you think? Let’s get out of here, Swan.”

He grabs her hand before she can answer. “Mr.— Killian. Is this allowed?”

He chuckles. “We can plan the meetings at our leisure,” he says the last bit in an almost scary imitation of Regina, “but even still, Regina and I never met in office. A bit silly for two people to take up an entire conference room, yeah? Come on, lass, try something new. It’s called trust.”

Emma rolls her eyes but follows along anyway. The elevator ride should’ve been awkward but Killian kept the conversation flowing by asking her preferred drink. “Coffee, tea, or smoothies?”

Despite the risk of sounding like a child, Emma finds herself being honest with him, “Uhh, I actually prefer hot chocolate… with cinnamon.”

He smiles brightly at her, as though her drink order was the most brilliant discovery this century, “Perfect, Swan. I know just the place.”

She was so swept up in his ambush, she doesn’t realize that this isn’t the cocky, asshat Killian Jones she sees on tv or at the gym until he’s practically dragging her across the street to a small cafe. This Killian seems genuine and carries this almost childlike excitement.

Emma tells herself she has no interest in learning more about this Killian.

(Emma doesn’t have to tell herself that that is complete bullshit.)

. . .

He can’t stop himself from beaming when she offers up her drink order without hesitation. Killian feels like a bloody teenager around her. He promised himself he wouldn’t feel this way again, but something about Emma Swan has completely entranced him.

He finds himself fascinated with every part of her, including the small things, like the fact she takes cinnamon on her hot chocolate.

Once they get to the cafe across the street, Killian forces himself to dial it back. He can tell she’s guarded and as much as he’d like to be friends (more than friends) with the lass, he knows business has to come first.

It wouldn’t exactly be a good look for him if he ran “The Savior” out of the office on her second day.

Somehow he thinks he doesn’t have that power.

He’d like to. (Obviously not to run her out of the office, but he’d like his existence to mean that much to her.)

Bloody hell, he's being ridiculous.

They sit down across from each other at a small table by the window. He expects to start the conversation but before he can form a coherent thought she’s speaking.

“So, Killian. I’ve already received some correspondence from Gold’s team. I’m not sure how much time you usually take between fights and I know it’s already the end of September but…”

She’s rambling and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen anybody so adorable when they’re nervous.

Adorable is not a professional descriptor.

Killian Jones doesn’t want “professional” with Emma Swan.

Fuck.

“...Gold is hoping to get you on the main card for November 14th.”

Did she just say main card?

He chokes on his coffee.

“Main card, Swan? I’ve never been on the main card. Strictly early prelims…”

She eyes him suspiciously, “Usually that’s a good thing. Upward momentum and all that. His team is clearly impressed by your dominant record.”

“Is his team the only one impressed?” The flirt escapes him before he can stop it.  

Bloody idiot.

She doesn’t even bat an eye, “The entire league seems to be impressed, Jones.” Her tone tells him she knows what just happened but she shut it down immediately.

He likes a challenge.

Emma Swan may be his favorite challenge yet.

Emma Swan is off limits, but Killian will be damned if he cares.

. . .

Emma is surprised when Killian pays for their drinks despite her insistence that she can charge it to Mills Management. She’s also surprised by how nice he is.

She keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop.

She’s still waiting.

He’s definitely flirtatious, every other sentence being easily twisted into some sort of innuendo, but she can tell it’s a front. The little things he does like tipping the barista an extra fifty cents or holding the door for her, let on to the man behind the persona.

Well, and the fact he practically chokes when she tells him they want him for the main card.

He seems genuinely shocked that anyone would be impressed by him. His mask comes out almost immediately, another innuendo laced into his question. She doesn’t let him go there, shutting it down as quickly as it started. For this to work, she needs him the real him. Not the cocky MMA fighter who he used to catch the eye of UFC execs. She compliments him, and it’s beyond genuine. That seems to calm his nerves a bit as they move into social media management and he shifts into a professionalism she’s not entirely prepared for.

She’s not sure she wants professional Killian Jones.

Whoa, Emma, pump the breaks.

She shakes it off as she watches him take notes on what she’s saying about the importance of a lead up on Twitter and how it can set the tone for the entire fight. His tongue runs along the inside of his lower lip as he concentrates and she can’t help the overwhelming wave of attraction that hits her.

Like lightning.

It’s not just the tongue, (but that’s not helping) it’s his dedication to this sport and how he actually gives a fuck about what she’s saying. Killian never displayed even a hint of the deeply rooted misogyny that runs rampant throughout the industry. He actually seems almost humbled by her presence. The words escape her mouth before she can’t stop them, “Why are you actually taking anything I say seriously?”

Very professional, Emma. Way to instill confidence in your client. Smooth.

His head snaps up at her abrupt question and he looks confused. “I know you don’t like being called a legend, Swan, but you were a damn good fighter. If I walk out of this partnership with half the following and success you had, I’d call that a win.”

She’s stunned by his sincerity.

Brick. Wall. (She thinks she hears Pink Floyd somewhere in the distance.)

“And I suppose you think you know all about me from our, what, three conversations now?” She knows it’s snippy, that’s the point.

He stops typing and puts his phone down. “Pardon me, love, but you’re a bit of an open book.”

Emma scoffs, “Anyone with the internet knows I prefer people don’t call me a legend.”

“Aye, but do they know it’s because you feel too young with a career too short to have made an impact? That you feel choosing yourself, a life, over MMA removes all glory from your name?”

Emma is entirely shaken by his apparent ability to read her like a fucking picture book. (Does that even make sense? Do you read picture books?) Emma never had a formal retirement ceremony; gloves in the middle of the ring and all that. She had asked Gold to be taken off the roster and for a quiet exit and that’s what he’d given her. The public doesn’t know the real reason she left MMA, her attempt at keeping Henry’s life as normal as possible, but somehow Killian–

Brick. Brick. Brick.

“Let’s talk about Instagram.” She sees the disappointment sweep across his face, realizing she can read him pretty well too. That’s terrifying.

Way more terrifying than social media plans.

They keep it strictly business for the rest of the meeting. She’s startled when her stomach rumbles and she checks the time.

12:00. They’ve been strategizing for three hours.

She’s not sure where the time went, and when Killian asks her if she wants to grab a bite to eat together, she’s startled again by her initial gut reaction to say yes.

Obviously, she says no and makes up some lie about needing to get back to the office. He knows it’s a lie, she can see it all over his face. He doesn’t push her though, and she’s grateful. They set their next meeting and Emma’s heart speeds up, seemingly unaware that this is a business meeting and not a date. She shakes his hand and promises to have a full plan ready for Thursday before practically sprinting out of the cafe.

In three conversations Killian Jones has gone from asshat to… who knows. One thing Emma does know is that Killian Jones is off limits to the highest of ethical degrees. But what scares her most, is that she’s not entirely sure she cares.

. . .

As soon as he asks her to lunch he knows he’s pushed too far.

Actually, he perhaps pushed too far by letting on just how easy it was for him to read her, but lunch, well that was just asking for a brick wall. He runs his hands across his face, completely taken with someone he has no right to. She’s witty, smart, and could probably kick his ass— scratch that, could definitely kick his ass— but she also has demons, he can see them swimming behind her eyes. Demons that seem scarily similar to his, maybe not on the surface but definitely in their damage. Emma is raw and unapologetic; a real human being who is, for all intents and purposes, unimpressed by the suave persona of Killian “Hook” Jones.

She’s bloody perfect.

He’s fucking fucked.

Eloquent.

Killian decides to grab a quick lunch from the cafe and head to the gym. He has a lot of pent up frustration and really feels the need to punch something. Thank god that’s his job. He scarfs down his sandwich, not realizing how hungry he was and jumps on the subway to the training center. He miraculously finds a seat and is able to scroll through his phone a bit. As he pokes around Twitter he finds an article announcing Emma “The Savior” Swan’s comeback to the UFC. He clicks on it, curiosity getting the better of him despite probably knowing the gist of the article.

He didn’t expect a timeline of her very impressive career:

2008: Swan joins the UFC with her Boston gym. Her debut match against Aurora Rose ended in a TKO. She’s back in action six months later fighting Ella Tremaine. She wins again, this time after three rounds by split decision.

2009: A dominant start to the year for The Savior with a first round submission against Tiana Dampier in January. She rounded out her year with another first round submission against El Oldenburg in May, and a third round knockout against Esmerelda Gringoire in October.

2010: Swan goes three rounds with Merida Baer and wins by unanimous decision. Swan wins again after three rounds by split decision against Megara Alcmene. The Savior’s final match is a KO against Mulan Fa rounding out her record to 8-0. Her next match, meant to be for the women’s title, was declined with no comment from The Savior.

2020: Swan joins Mills Management as a talent manager assigned to Killian “Hook” Jones.

Killian knew Swan was good, an early legend in her own right, but he had no idea she was this dominant. He also had no idea she left without so much as a wave goodbye. He figured he’d just missed the announcement seeing as it came well before his introduction into the sport. Against his typical moral code, he tries to google why she left but finds nothing. She knocks out Mulan Fa and then just stops being added to cards and fades away as new fighters take her place.

He knows there’s a reason for her secrecy and he’d be lying if he said curiosity was the only driving force behind his attempt to learn more. He finds himself wanting to know everything there is to know about Emma Swan; a deeper part of him aches for her to be the one who tells him.

He’s positive he can only dream of gaining that level of trust from her, but he has to try. Liam's words ring heavy in his ears, "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets."

He gets off at the stop closest to the training center and walks through the front doors, waving to Belle at the front desk before heading into the locker room. He’s fortunate to be on the UFC roster, allowing him to keep his training gear at the center and not have to worry about lugging it around with him. It also gives him the freedom to come here whenever he needs to let off some steam. He changes quickly and finds a treadmill to warm up. He jogs a mile and a half before picking up the pace. Killian’s in the midst of his runner’s high when someone steps into the machine next to him. He turns his head to offer them a small smile in hello, it’s not that big of a gym, exclusive to the UFC industry and a few friends of friends, so chances are he knows the person at least in passing.

Oh, Killian knows them alright, and he practically falls off the treadmill when he sees her green eyes blown wide.

[illfoandillfie]

hey actual queen of roger taylor smut, can i ask for some advice ? i’m trying to write something and i just can not get it sounding how i want. can’t get it past that kind of awkward, cliche phase if you know what i mean. do you have any tips for smut writing or anything you do yourself ? would be very much appreciated :)) xx

ksjgdhjs well idk if i deserve that title but I’ll try and help! 

so when i write, the first draft is just about getting the basic ideas down. I have an outline of the main things I want to happen and I follow that and try to fill in the blanks/inbetween parts. This means the first draft is often littered with cliches and poor word choice because I’m more focused on making sure I know where everyone’s hands are and that if they start in position A they can get to position B in a way that makes sense. If I can’t think of anything better than “their tongues battled for dominance.” then I put it down and move along.

when I go back to edit I try to fix that sort of stuff. Cliches can be good, and you don’t have to get rid of all of them, but you don’t want there to be too many of them too close together either, and the trick is knowing which is the good kind and which is the bad kind. I wish I had some of my drafts so I could take some screencaps for examples but I write in word online so it gets saved over when I make a change, I’ll try and pull some stuff from memory though. 

So, theres this bit in I’ll Make It Up To You

I’m pretty sure this was a ‘tongues battle for dominance’ bad cliche moment in draft 1. I knew I wanted a kiss in there but I didn’t know how to describe it so I used the cliche. When I came back to it once I’d finished writing I had a better understanding of the characters and their emotions and also just a better idea of how to write than when I’d started. I realised I needed this kiss to demonstrate how much the two characters had missed each other so I tried to focus on that. It was easy with the reader character cause I could just flat out say “god you’d missed this” and it works but I wasn’t writing Roger’s POV so I had to try and get it across through describing his movements and expressions and stuff that reader would be able to see and feel - “pulling you as close to him as you could possibly get.” 

I think I also tried to describe the kiss in more detail when I was editing - I definitely remember trying to work in something about teeth clashing or something like that. I was really trying to make it obvious how much they missed/needed each other but it ended up sounding just as bad and cliched as what I originally had. So I simplified it, cut out excess description and just said it was messy and needy and figured whoever was reading it would know what I meant, or at least be able to picture what they see as a messy and needy kiss. Sometimes you have to trust that your audience can picture something without you giving a beat by beat description.

Then theres this from QITL 2

Taken on its own, out of the context of the rest of the story, thats a fairly standard line. It could have come from any number of smut fics and could easily be described as somewhat cliche. But its a different type of cliche to the ‘tongues battling’ one above. Plus, when it’s in the context of the rest of the fic it’s not as noticeable. 

I find that a lot of smut writing (or just writing in general i guess) is just about balance. It’s walking a thin line between too much and not enough. To much description gets in the way of the story and the characters. Not enough leaves your audience confused. Cliched language can be good, especially if you havent experienced what you’re writing about so don’t know exactly how it’d feel, you can use cliches like ‘gasping for air’ and ‘back arching off the bed’ and ‘hard enough to bruise’ because you’re audience will understand what you’re saying with them. But cliches like ‘tongues battling’ and describing his ‘blue orbs’ should probably be reworded because they’re so ubiquitous now that it pulls your audience out of the rhythm of story. 

It’s something you get better at the more you write, but heres a couple of things I do when I’m trying to fix awkward phrasing:

1. Edit multiple times - something might hit you as particularly clumsy or awkward on your second or third read through that you completely missed on your first. But likewise, if you read over something a few times the way to fix it becomes clearer

2. Look at the sentences around the one your trying to fix - sometimes the problem isn’t so much with the one sentence you’ve noticed. sometimes its the way the previous sentence leads into it. or the way the next sentence starts. sometimes its some clumsy dialogue from earlier in the paragraph thats throwing the whole thing off.

3. Think about what your characters want and what they feel and try to get that across in your word choice. If Character A feels touch starved and needy choose words that emphasise those feelings - mention how their fingers twitch at the thought of touching Character B, things like that. If Character A is eager to please, use words like enthusiastically or without hesitation. Mix emotive phrases in with the standard smut phrases - they balance each other out and make cliched language appear less cliched.

4. Take a break! Sometimes you just look at something for too long and everything starts sounding bad! I always try to take a break in between finishing my first draft and starting to edit. Do something away from your writing, make a cup of tea or watch an episode of a tv show or read a chapter of a book or put on a load of laundry, anything that will make your mind focus on something else. Then you can come back with fresh eyes and properly evaluate what you’ve written. 

5. Read things out loud. It’s not always easy to do, especially if you live with other people and you don’t want them to know what you’re writing, but it does help. Even just whispering it to yourself. It forces you to pay attention to what you’ve written which makes it easier to pick up on mistakes you’ve made (both grammatical and things like how your characters are positioned), and also pick up on clumsy/awkward/bad word choice. It’s the thing I do most when something feels off  but I can’t work out what, it helps narrow down where the issues lie which makes them easier to fix.

This got longer than I meant it to be so hopefully something in here helps you! Let me know if you have any other questions or want more details about something I mentioned in here!!

[missymariee]

Moving On - Chapter 4

Teaser | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

A/N: Well this chapter ended up being longer than I expected! So, I’m going away to London & Ireland next week but I’ll still post chapters for Moving On as well as some other imagines that I’ve been drafting. Hopefully my plan works! Until then, hope you guys enjoy this chapter! The next one will be posted on next Friday x. 

Sunday morning rolls around and you get ready to go for a walk. It was a beautiful day outside and you wanted to take advantage of the sunny weather. Your boyfriend Ben was still sound asleep in your bed after spending the night. You decide not to wake him up, knowing how annoyed he would get if you did. You quietly put your shoes on then grab your keys and walk out of your place. Glad to not have woken up the boy in your bed, you happily stroll down the street with your headphones on. You choose to go to a nearby park where a lot of people walk their dogs. Seeing all the pups running around always made you happy. 

You get to the park and start to leisurely walk around the large open space. Your mind goes to Tom and your conversation with him from yesterday. Replying what he said and how his expression changed when you told him that you have a boyfriend. For second you had been flirting a bit, at least that’s what it seemed like, and it felt good. Feeling guilty you decide to think about else. Before you could do that, a dog came running towards you and before you could blink the dog jumped on you.

“Oof” you stumble to the ground as the blue staffy starts to nudge and lick you while her tail wags excitedly. 

“Tessa!” You hear someone shout in the distance.

“Hi cutie” You sit up to pet the sweet pup and she barks happily. You giggle as she continues to give your face kisses. 

“Tessa, not again.” You hear someone sigh and Tessa barks. You look up only to see a familiar blue-eyed boy standing above you. “I’m so sorry, she just gets excited very easily.”

“It’s no problem! She’s sweet” you smile at him and he grins not worried anymore about Tessa having jumped on an innocent bystander. 

“She really likes you” he points out as you softly pet her. “I’m Harrison by the way, and that’s Tessa.” 

“Y/N” You look up at Harrison a bit perplexed. “Isn’t she Tom’s dog?”

“I have her for now.” He cocks his eyebrow. “You a fan of Tom’s?”

“No, well yes but we’re also kinda friends.” Harrison looks confused so you try to clarify. “He lives in the same building as my best friend and we’ve become friendly.” 

“Really?” He looks a bit shocked. He didn’t know that Tom had started talking to people since he hadn’t heard from him in months. 

“Yep” You give Tessa a few more pets before standing up to face Harrison. “Have you seen him lately?” You ask innocently, not knowing how strained their friendship is. 

“No. Haven’t seen him in months.” 

“Oh, how come?” 

“Has he told you what happened yet?” Harrison asks carefully.

“No, not yet.”

“You should get him to tell you about that night.”

“Why?” You ask, puzzled as to what Harrison could be implying. 

“If you’re going to be his friend you need to know what happened.” He says seriously. “It’s not my story to tell but it’s important.” 

“I don’t think he’s ready to relive those memories and I’m not going to push him to talk.”

“That’s fair. Well, if he asks about me you can tell him I said hi.”

“Yeah of course. But, I bet he’d prefer to see you.” You offer but Harrison smiles sadly and shakes his head.

“I doubt that.” He leans down and puts Tessa back on her leash. “I have to get going but it was nice meeting you Y/N.” 

“Yeah, you too.” You smile and he waves as he walks away with Tessa happily trotting next to him. 

Your interaction with Harrison had been interesting. On your way home, you were thinking about why Tom and Harrison hadn’t seen each other in months and what Harrison had meant by ‘you need to know what happened’.

You try to shake those thoughts out of your mind as you continue walking towards your home. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday came around pretty quickly and it was obvious that you were in a particular good mood. For once you woke up with a huge smile on your face and you didn’t even need coffee to feel like a normal human being. Your phone buzzed with a text from Ben saying he was waiting for you outside. It was a part of your routine for him to drive you to classes in the morning. If he finished work early enough sometimes he’d pick you up too but usually you went to your best friend Ellie’s apartment or to your part-time job. 

“Well someone’s in a good mood.” Ben points out as you practically skipped to his car.

“Today’s going to be a great day” You announce.

“Why’s that?” Ben asks curiously. You pause for a second, contemplating whether or not to tell him about Tom.

“I’m hanging out with Ellie after class” 

“Don’t you see her all the time?” 

“Yeah, but today is…I don’t know.” You sigh. “I’m just feeling good today; do I really need a reason to be happy?” You ask him, feeling a tad defensive and guilty from not telling him about Tom. Ben raises his eyebrow at your sudden change of tone.

“I was just saying geez, no need to get snippy Y/N.” 

“I’m not getting snippy Benjamin.” You retort knowing he hates it when people call him by his full name. His hands tighten around the steering wheel and you knew he was upset. The rest of the car ride was done in complete silence. He stops in front of your school and you get out of the car, slamming the door shut a little harder than you should. 

“You’re welcome!” Ben shouts from his car as you walk off, not thanking him for the ride. Your joyful mood from earlier was almost gone, ‘till you checked your phone and saw a text from Tom asking what time you were coming by. You reply with a time and add that you couldn’t stay for too long due to the impending due date of your English essay.

Hoping that class goes by quickly, you settle in your usual spot and open your laptop ready to take notes. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, you find yourself standing in front of Tom’s apartment. You knock on the door, a little more confidently this time. One hand was holding your phone and the other had his Midtown High hoodie. You had contemplated lying to him and saying that you lost the hoodie so you could keep it. You obviously decided against that seeing as it wouldn’t be great karma and, it’s not a good idea to start a friendship with a lie. 

Tom opens the door with a beaming smile, knowing you were the one at his door. He’d been thinking about you all day and was eager to see you again. A part of him felt like he should be pulling away and not opening up. Partly due to you having a boyfriend but also because getting close to someone again was terrifying for him. 

You immediately stretch your arm out to hand him his hoodie. 

“Here’s your hoodie, I washed it too.” 

“Thanks, you didn’t have to do that” He grins and you shrug.

“It felt like the polite thing to do.” You both just stand there staring at each other for a few extra seconds before Tom invites you in. You walk into the familiar space and take a seat on his very comfortable couch. He sits on the other side, leaving a space between the two of you. Your both silent, neither of you knowing exactly what to say to start the conversation. You decide to tell him about your encounter with his supposed best friend. 

“So, um I bumped into Harrison at the park on Sunday.” Tom’s head snaps up and he looks a bit shocked.

“Did he say anything?” He asks slowly.

“Just to tell you he says hi.” 

“Oh.”

“He was walking Tessa.” You continue. He swallows thickly, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. 

“How is she?”

“She seemed happy, but I think she misses you.”

“I miss her too” he replies quietly. “And Haz.”

“You should reach out to him then” you say softly.

“No,” he shakes his head. “He won’t want to see me. I messed everything up.”

“I’m sure you didn’t” he sighs sadly and leans back into the sofa.

“But I did Y/N and I don’t think he’ll ever be able to forgive me.” 

“What did you do that was so awful?” 

“I just stopped living” he pauses and you give him a look to elaborate. “After Daisy died, I-I couldn’t do anything.”

“I mean that’s not abnormal, you were grieving” 

“But, it went on for months after the accident. Harrison and my family tried to get me to get out of bed and eat but I wouldn’t. I pushed them all away.” He sighs. “It got really bad at one point when Haz was away. I didn’t even leave my room to fed Tess and when he came back she was starving,” His eyes start watering and you rub his arm soothingly. “He got really angry, rightfully so, and yelled at me. I just stayed in bed and said nothing. I think that’s when he gave up. Next thing I knew him and Tessa had moved out.”

“Tom…You were in a bad place. I bet they both forgave you a long time ago.” 

“I don’t know. Maybe if I’d said something or reached out…” He trails off and wipes the tears from his eyes. 

“You can’t change what happened in this past. Just focus on what you can do now, like reaching out to him.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He sniffles a bit and so, you give him a few minutes for him to calm down; before regrettably informing him that it was getting late and you had to head home. 

“I’m sorry my emotions ruined our hangout, again.” He says annoyed with himself for being all sad again. 

“Don’t be silly. You didn’t ruin anything” 

“Feels like I did” He looks down at his feet, feeling like a shitty friend. You felt bad that he thought he’d ruined your afternoon together. Out of habit you wrap your arms around Tom and hug him tight. Whenever your other friends weren’t feeling well you would always give them bear hugs. It didn’t fix anything but it usually made the other person feel a little less like crap. 

“I swear you didn’t ruin today. It’s good for you to talk about everything that’s happened.” Tom gives in to your hug and tenderly holds you against him.

“I know,” He whispers into the crook of your neck. “Could we get ice cream or do something fun next time we hang out though?” He asks a little louder. You chuckle and unwrap yourself from his body, standing up from the couch to get ready to leave. 

“Of course, we can. How’s Friday?” 

“Friday is perfect.” Tom follows you to his front door and opens it for you. 

“Great I’ll see you then. Bye Tom” You smile wide and he grins. 

“Bye Y/N, see you Friday.” He waves as you walk down the hallway to the elevators. 

It wasn’t until you were walking outside on your way to your apartment that you remembered you’d made plans with Ben for Friday. Not sure what to do about your double booking you decide to let it go, hoping it would just resolve itself. But of course, life is never that easy. 

Masterlist |  Prompt List

(Requests are still open) (Tag list is still open-Click Here)

Tag list: @darlingtom1996  @thefuriousquake @electraheart-3174 @newhappiness430 @meyrapp @bishopl @kristyesteven @jamiemac26 @11-jade-11 @captainmommaoftwogirls @notimeforthemessenger @its-livelovelife 

[victorluvsalice]

2019 Resolutions!

Happy New Year, everyone! Feels good to shake off 2018, doesn’t it? I know I’m certainly hoping for a happier, healthier, and just all-around more pleasant 2019.

I’m also hoping for a productive one, fic-wise. I don’t know everything I might be working on this year -- you guys know me, a constant fountain of AU ideas -- but I do have a few key goals I’d like to accomplish:

1. Finish “Fixing You” -- this is the biggie, given it’s my primary project at the moment. I managed to get this sucker started last year, and I am determined to finish it -- and the main “Forgotten Vows Verse” ____ You arc -- this one. I don’t know exactly when that’ll be (given I’m unsure how long editing the last bunch of chapters will take), but I’m hoping for midsummer at the latest. (Would be amusing if I could get the wedding chapter out around July 7th, the date I’ve chosen for their anniversary -- we’ll see!)

2. Finish “The Technicolor Phase” -- my other major project of the moment, this one should be pretty easy. I’ve written two of the three new chapters I came up with to show how the Victor/Victoria/Emily threesome slowly became a foursome with Alice, and I plan to at least start the third this weekend. After that, it’s just a matter of editing and posting. (And, nicely, we should have a chapter up for Valentine’s Day! Dunno which one yet. . .)

3. Finish the “As Long As You Love Me” snippets -- My “Victor and Alice are Ken and Bart from DGHDA” AU, if you don’t remember. This makes the list mainly because, like “Technicolor Phase,” I’m actually pretty close to finishing my planned snippets up -- the penultimate one is in rough draft stage, and I’ve got the notes down for the last one. I’ll probably get those up once I’m done with “The Technicolor Phase” and can devote a few Saturdays to them.

4. Get the second draft of “Secundus 2″ done -- Yeah, I got the rough draft of that completed last year, but I haven’t had a chance to look at it again because I’ve been focusing so much on “Fixing You.” Once that’s all up and posted, I’m taking a break from the Forgotten Vows Verse to go back to Secundus for a while and get this long-time-coming sequel edited. I can’t promise that it’ll be POSTED in 2019 -- but you have a much better shot of a “teaser chapter” appearing at the end of the year, at least. (I was gonna do it this year, but -- like I said, it’s only in “rough draft” form right now).

So yeah, those are my resolutions for this year! Trying to focus on the most important stuff this time around. . . I mean, hopefully I’ll be able to get some other stuff out, like some more chapters of “Imagine Me And You” or some new and different AU snippets, but let’s keep things achievable here. Onward to the future!

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Not Another Fic Info Dump

Hey, all! I promised to get this up soon so here it is! I’m putting most of it under a read more, since even though it’s shorter than my last one, it’s still a full like 2 pages.

TLDR for those who don’t want to read:

Okay, so, remember that schedule I posted a few months back? That got totally blown the fuck out by the situation at work? I had specifically planned that out with the intention of having more free time this summer, but that simply didn’t happen. My boss of the last five years just left this week and has been replaced by a new manager, whom I already have high hopes for. Our staff situation is almost fixed, but our store’s assistant manager is receiving a promotion and we only have her for one more week. Once she’s gone, until a new assistant manager is brought in, I’m the only one with the availability and training to fill that role. I’ve already spoken about my situation with my new manager and explained that the absolute latest I can do that for is about a month, since I go back to school the third week of August to start up my final term of college. So, unless we get a new assistant in the next two weeks, I’ll basically have minimal free time until right before my semester starts, and then I’ll have to balance my free time to work in study/ class works as well. I am, however, confident that things will be able to get worked, since I’ve worked with the new manager before and know that he’s a great guy.

As such, I’ve reached the following decision regarding my fics: I will not be following any specific schedule anymore, but I am going to be trying my best to get into a rhythm.

For now, I am limiting myself to only four major projects, though I do have some more one-shots and continuation pieces in the works for other stories I’ve submitted. I’ve decided to run with the four ideas I have the most plans for and my goal will be to upload the first chapter of all of them before this month ends. I am not abandoning any of my other projects, though; they’ll just be settled on the back burner until I have more free time/ finish one of the other four projects.

So, which projects should be expected from me?

Time, Space, and Everything Between: This fic is one that I’ve been chomping at the bit to work on and have already almost finished the first chapter. Of all my undefined projects, this will most likely end up being the longest, as while I have a lot of ideas I want to explore with it, I haven’t really decided tOo much in regards to how I want it to end. Pairing: Kidge; Others to be determined at a later date.

Copper and Indigo: The Voltron Soul Eater!AU that I keep promising will be uploaded soon! Since I’ve gotten the results from the poll, I’ve started drafting out an outline to try and have a general idea of where I want to take that story. This is a project that might end up a bit longer than most of my defined projects, but not as long as T,S,aEB. Pairings: Kidge; Hanlura (I think that’s the ship name? IDEK)

Squeaky Brakes: I’m going to be honest and say that Heith has very quickly become my second favorite Voltron ship and I couldn’t resist. I really wanted to do something that was a bit more on the domestic side of romance, and what could be better than Single Dad Keith falling for the Patient Mechanic Hunk? I’ve already got a rough outline completed for this one, and it will only be about 10-12 chapters, maybe, so not a particularly long project. Pairings: Heith; side-lined Allurance.

Here (In Your Arms): Title taken from a song by the band Hellogoodbye (Please listen to it, it is a great Kidge song and also a great Latte song!) This is the fic I was talking about in this post a little while back. I’ve decided I really want to pursue it, since I think it’s be a blast to write and it got a lot of positive feedback! This is another shorter project that I doubt will make it far into the double digits, if it even does, so probably about 8-11 chapters, maybe? Pairings: Latte; Kidge; others to be determined as I start working it out.

My goal will be to have the first chapter of all of these uploaded by the end of July, and then I’ll be running with the goal of updating them each once a month, so it’d be one update to one of these projects a month. All other ideas I have will still be worked on as my free time/ interest wavers. My goal is to be consistently uploading something at least once a week, though there will be weeks that my productivity goes higher due to additional projects – I’ve fallen hard into Persona 4 Hell and am big on a low-time ship that needs some more love, as well as having a short story idea using my own characters that I want to maybe self-publish on Amazon – so there’s that to consider as well.

Hopefully this helps clear up my current situation in regards to writing! Looking forward to seeing what you all think of everything I have up my sleeve in the coming weeks!

[gold-from-straw]

Writing Process tag game

Tagged by @gothyringwald! Thank you ^_^

1. What are your favourite genres and/or styles to write in?

I recently discovered I actually LOVE magical realism. I really like world building like that. But most of all I like writing about people and relationships, so within that, anything really

2. What was the last writing project you finished and felt successful with?

I get a total buzz from finishing anything, often because I’m super excited about starting on the next thing! I think Wicked Boys, though - it’s just the first draft that’s finished, but I’m really pleased with how it turned out. The Forest Hotel, as well, I finished that quite a while ago but I still feel really positive about it, which is unheard of for me lol! My friend has finished the front cover art, so hopefully I’ll be able to publish it soon! But the most surprising success was Nature of Trust, because it’s STILL gathering hits and kudos like crazy, it didn’t slow down after I finished uploading, and I can’t even quite figure out why?! I feel like I hit on some magic formula there and I’m fascinated lol!

3. If you have a WiP how do you feel it’s going? What stage are you in?

Oh dear, hold on people. So I’ve got 2 original novels that are about 1/3 the way through. One of them I recently got enthusiastic about again, but I nearly cried when I re-read the first few chapters. They were shit. I’ve convinced myself to move past that - that’s a problem for second draft Lyndsay - and just write the damn thing. 

I’ve got a couple of first drafts that need transcribing so I can upload them - Wicked Boys, which is my current baby, Golden Prince, and Living the Dream (shit, I need to be writing that like now, so I can upload tomorrow...)

I’ve got a Drarry novel which might ACTUALLY turn into an epic re-write of the entire HP series, oops. I’m only on book 1 as well, so... it’s getting there?

There’s a short story I promised my daughter, too, I should really prioritise that...

Oh, yeah, I forgot about Zero Degrees! I have a few extra chapters to add, and a bunch of edits, but I’m hoping to publish that next year

I have too many WIPs!

4. What are your favourite places to write?

I write my first drafts in notebooks (literally because I like buying pretty notebooks...) so I actually end up writing in some lovely places, like a hill where I walk my dog! My dedicated writing place is in a golf club cafe I go to after my karate lesson (random, know), they make the best BLT baguettes, and the old dudes there tease me and ask me when I’m going to write a book about them

5. Do you prefer to write with long hand or type? Or some other method?

If it’s something long I usually write in a notebook, because I kinda like having physical evidence of the VOLUME of shit I write! Also I really like pretty notebooks. Also also, it forces me to finish a first draft - I can’t edit as easily as I can on a laptop. And then when I type it up it forces me to second draft it, I spot things that don’t flow better than if I was just reading through

6. Do you remember your first character? If so can we meet them?

Yes! I used to write stories and pass them around my school, and the first one I wrote was about a girl who lived as a stowaway in a container ship like some pre-teen phantom of the opera on the fucking ocean! I actually don’t know if I ever finished the story, but she was trippy. First story I know for sure that I finished was about a bus crash where one girl nearly dies and her body is taken over by an angel so she can heal. It’s mostly from the POV of the boy who had a crush on her and who goes slightly crazy noticing the similarities and differences between this girl’s character before and after. I mean that was trippy AF too, I’m not even sure what was going on there... I was clearly a little edgelord already...

7. Where do you get your inspiration?

I really don’t know, half the time. Daydreaming. Something will set me off and I’ll take tangent after tangent until BAM, I’m re-writing the story of how my great-grandfather walked half way across Kenya with a donkey and a wooden leg, only now he’s gay and he and his Masai friend rescue a kid from an abusive household.

8. Do you outline a story before writing it, or does it all live in your head until the first draft gets put down?

So much outline. The reason being, I have so many random ideas that if I started all of them I’d go crazy. So instead I have a book full of tangled mind-maps (my header photo is an example), and once they’re outlined there, they can hibernate for years before I get started, but they don’t go away. If I just let them live in my head I’d lose them! I also have a book dedicated to doing character notes, like backstories and random bits of info that will probably never make it into the story but which give me a good idea of who the person is before I try to write them - otherwise they tend to be a bit two dimensional. @salamanderink gave me that idea by asking me loads of questions about some of my Zero Degrees characters!

9. Where do you go/ What do you do when you’re feeling stuck?

I just leave it alone, write something else or absolutely nothing. I don’t try to push it any more. I think I used to, because I was scared of losing momentum, but now I’ve got this backlog of ideas, I know that if I ever run out of inspiration at least I’ve got starting points for loads of new ones! I don’t know if that’ll change in the future, but it seems to be OK for right now. I sometimes change and do a bit of drawing for a while instead, that usually loosens me up

10. What got you started writing/doing Art? (Because I always love origin stories)

I’ve kept a diary since I was 6 or so, on and off, but consistently since I was 11. That just sort of turned into me writing stories, somehow. I remember writing in my diary ‘nothing interesting ever happens so I’m going to write down my daydreams until I get a boyfriend or something’. Then IDK, some of the kids a couple of years below me in high school found some of my stories, and asked if they could share them around, and I started sewing them up to hand out - I’ve still got all of them! Some of them were fucking dark... 

We had a talk by an author one day, and he asked if anyone wanted to be a professional writer. I put my hand up (and got teased by the assholes in my class afterwards, because apparently the boys in my class were actual baby boomers and didn’t think writing was a real job - like mate, you’re 15, what do you care?!) but this dude looked at me with a super intense expression and said ‘never stop writing’. So I didn’t. And I self-pub my original stuff, and get my regular dose of validation on AO3, and writing is my most effective coping mechanism. Tadaa!

Tagging @slytherinvalues, @turned-her-brain, @salamanderink, @elizabethhollowswriting and @soz or whoever else wants to do this and needs to procrastinate as much as I do ;)

[liarsdicefantasynovel]

Chapter Update - Chapter 21

I managed to finish chapter 21 at 3191 words, so there’s a good portion of my goal for the day completed, and after I post this I’ll get started on the second part of that goal: working a bit on Chapter 22. 

I ended up shifting part of what was meant to be in this chapter to the next one as it would have changed the tone too much for it to happen the same night as the rest of the events of this chapter did, but ultimately I’m very happy with how it turned out. Davy is an interesting character to write as he’s very much a walking ball of claws and issues but he’s trying to do better for Will and mostly managing: the dynamic of the ‘villain that tries to be slightly less villainous so that bae won’t be terrified of them but is still never going to reform’ is fun to work with. Hopefully I’m able to represent his trauma well but I won’t know that for sure until I finish the draft and hand it over to betas to look over.

Favorite passage from this chapter: 

“You speak freely with me, now.”

Will straightened. “Apologies, Sir.”

Davy sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose with one claw. He looked, then, like a mortal man might when wrung out. “I hadn’t meant that as a shot across the bow.” He said. “Though I will request you mind your tongue around the others, while alone if you wish to be more colorful with your language you may.”

“You referred to my suggestion Raul stuff his strumpet as ‘colorful’.”

“You’d be rather disappointed suggesting the same to me. They’re not to my taste.”

“Too baudy?”

A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I’ve never had an eye for women. For all  that they once had an eye for me.” He looked down at his taloned hand. “I doubt they would now.”

“I think you’re plenty handsome. For a fish man.” Realizing what he’d blurted out Will looked away and cleared his throat. “I mean, look at Bennett. Or Moray. Hard to kiss something with a muzzle full of teeth or tentacles where their face should be.”

“You think I’m ‘plenty handsome’.” The Sea Devil leaned back in his chair. Smirking. “Did I hear that right?”

Liar’s Dice, Chapter 21 Page 4

Don’t really have anything research or process wise to ramble about regarding this chapter so I’m gonna hop off here and work on the next one. 

[byjillianmaria]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

I was tagged by @raiswanson :D Thank you!!

*All answers should be about works published in 2017

1.) List of works posted last year

Well, Kelli and I started posting our webcomic, Reversed Star. I also posted a short story and a mock article for that. I’ve also posted the first chapter of Songbird (even though I guess technically this version was posted in 2018, a version was posted in 2017)! That’s it, other than some misc. quotes and excerpts from various projects.

2.) What work are you most proud of and why?

I’m really proud of all of them, but I’m proud of myself for finishing the second draft of Songbird especially. It’s my first time completely rewriting a draft, and it’s easily my longest work at around 80k words. I learned a lot while writing it!!

3.) What work are you least proud of and why?

I can’t honestly say that I’m not proud of anything I’ve written so far!

4.) A favorite excerpt of your writing

There are a lot of bits of Songbird that I’m really, insanely proud of, but they’re all full of spoilers :(

5.) Share or describe a favorite comment you received

OH MAN. Basically any time someone tells me they’re looking forward to reading Songbird, or that they liked the first chapter, or that they find Elizabeth relatable, I shed actual real-life tears. Because I love this story so much, I’ve told myself countless versions of it and it’s gone through so much to get where it is now, and the idea that one day other people might be able to love it just as much makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

6.) A time when writing was really, really, hard.

Writing is hard frequently. In particular I think the climax of Songbird is going to be what takes the most work.

7.) A scene or character you wrote that surprised you.

When I was writing the first draft of Songbird, it was basically following the plot of the fanfic it was based off of, with just a few things expanded on or subtracted due to being too fanwork-y. But then, a certain character did something totally unexpected. It completely changed the overall structure of the book, and made me realize a few themes that were hiding around the edges for me to bring out. A lot of draft 2 was spent taking that one scene and changing elements of the draft to match!

8.) How did you grow as a writer last year?

Well, I wrote a lot more than I think I’ve ever written. I’ve gotten more determined, more willing to follow through with projects until the end.

9.) How do you hope to grow as a writer this year?

This is going to be the year of reader feedback! I plan on getting Songbird to critique partners by the end of the month, then beta readers. And then — hopefully!!!! — I plan on looking into professional editors, cover artists, and similar things to go towards self-publishing! It’s something I’m already saving up money for, and I am nervous but excited.

10.) Who was your greatest positive influence last year?

Oh, man. Am I allowed to say the writeblr community as a whole? Because, really, I don’t know if I’d be where I am now in my projects without you guys. You have been so supportive, kind, and you’re talented and inspiring to boot! Go, you!

11.) Anything from your real life turn up in your writing last year?

Hmmm ... You know, I’m sure it has. But in such an abstract way that I’m not even sure I’d be able to tell you guys what it was. All of my characters and plots have little bits and pieces of me. It’s how I empathize with them.

12.) Any new wisdom you can share with other writers.

I used to work as a writing tutor, and I’d always tell my students the same thing, “My favorite thing about writing is that you don’t have to get it right the first time.” Write, and rewrite, and rewrite until the story matches what you see in your head. It’s a sort of magic that you can’t really do with any other subject, at least not as easily or as completely.

13.) Any new projects you’re excited to start this year?

WELL. I am very excited to send my manuscript off to critique partners and beta readers. I have started tinkering around a little with The Fair Folk, but I’m finding it hard to invest in it because it’s such a large project, one that requires my full attention, and I’m still sorta stuck in Songbird mode so I’m not able to give it my all just yet. But I’ve been tinkering with a lot of for-fun stories in the meantime!

I’m tagging ... you. If you read this, you’re tagged. Sorry, I don’t make the rules :D

[starsandmaple]

Dances and Drafts, Chapter 2 - Definitely Not Potter

Synopsis:

It is 1977 and the Triwizard Tournament has come to Hogwarts. As the school prepares for its first Yule Ball in two-hundred years, Lily Evans finds herself completely put off going thanks to a certain toerag, and Severus Snape too shy to even consider attending. Can a cunning plan change that?

Notes:

I do not own these characters or anything deriving from the Harry Potter universe. All of that comes from the lovely J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Insert obligatory joke about being broke.

Definitely Not Potter

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go to the Yule Ball. Had it simply been a straight forward, guaranteed good party she would have been as excited as everyone else.

But she wasn’t.

Now that she’d decided to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas vacation however, it seemed ridiculous to not go. The only excuse she could think of for not going would be so that she could spend Christmas with her family. However, Petunia was at home for the break and Lily could even potentially consider it her Christmas gift to her sister not to come home. So what was the problem?

Something was nagging her, and it wasn’t just the fact that it was 4 o’clock on Tuesday afternoon, only 4 days before the ball, and she was sat in the study hall alone and she could expect to hear from a certain toerag any minute n-

“Hey Lil-“

“For the last bloody time I-“ she froze. Lily the voice had said. She turned in her seat.

“Severus!” she exclaimed, now facing a pale, dark haired, lanky wizard in Slytherin robes who had just taken the seat next to her. Definitely not Potter, she was so relieved she placed a hand on his shoulder and giggled.

“I’m so sorry, I thought you were…” she smiled apologetically and shook her head. Severus, who had gone an uncomfortable shade of ‘slightly less pale than usual’, frowned.

“He’s not still bothering you is he?” Lily shook her head, relaxed a little and removed her hand from him.

“It’s fine, I gave him a hard time yesterday, must have scared him off,” Snape’s frown softened a little. Though his scowl didn’t completely disappear, Lily wasn’t sure it ever really did. He mumbled something pensively.

“What are you still doing here?” Lily asked, “I thought you would have gone back on the Express today, though I was wondering where my goodbye was,” she nudged him with her elbow playfully. Severus smiled a little, hoping that Lily wasn’t just saying that and that the absence of a goodbye from him had occupied her mind, even if just for a second. Avoiding her question, he replied.

“I’m sorry it’s been awhile since we’ve seen each other, the first round of NEWTs really took up a lot of our time last term, huh,” Severus looked down, Lily nodded and turned back towards the table.

“How do you think you did?” she asked.

“Not as well as you,” he replied, not missing a beat. He looked up at her and grinned a little.

Lily turned and smiled.

“So what have you been busy with since classes finished?” she asked, still wondering why Severus had remained at the castle, though she suspected she knew the answer. Even though the Yule Ball didn’t interest him whatsoever…

…he would much rather be here than at home with his father, she frowned as she thought to herself. She figured asking him this way was far better than prying.

“Just a little side project, potions and things, you know… The usual,” still avoiding her question slightly, he spoke in his typical, very flat manner.

Lily turned back towards her work briefly, causing her to shift slightly in her seat. Severus suddenly became very aware of the fact that this change had caused their legs to touch underneath the table and remain in contact. He wasn’t sure whether he should move his legs away or not. He blushed a little.

“W-what are you reading?” he asked, trying to shift attention away from him and hopefully his legs brushing hers with every small postural shift. He didn’t think she had noticed his legs or his question however; she was so concentrated on what she was reading,

She hadn’t even noticed me sit down, Severus smiled to himself.

Severus Snape had been very aware of his feelings towards Lily Evans for a long time, almost as aware as he was sure she was oblivious. If anyone had asked him to put his finger on the moment he had realized he loved her, he wouldn’t have been able to tell them when the feelings started; only that it was moments like these, where she wore that look of concentration on her beautiful features, her green eyes sparkling and her auburn hair cascading around her, that added fuel to a very difficult to a flame that he didn’t think could ever be extinguished.

Lily closed her book and turned to face him.

“Shall we?” she smiled and cocked her head towards the door, picking up her bag and the book from the table. Severus stood and smiled faintly back. He imagined for a minute that he had the courage to offer a hand to help her up, but the time quickly passed before he could gather the nerve.

They walked together out of the study hall, through the corridors and towards the great hall. They were still early for dinner but Lily figured she could use some time to catch up with her oldest, and best, friend before the other students filed in.

They sat down at the Gryffindor table and talked about whatever came to mind. They had known each other for so long that things were comfortable between them. The current Triwizard Tournament gave them plenty of conversation points; from the tactics used by some of the champions to whether or not they thought some of the mentors were encouraging cheating among the contestants. Though not Severus’s ideal topic to discuss, he did enjoy seeing Lily animate as she talked about the very dramatic first task that had just recently occurred.

It couldn’t be avoided forever though, eventually the topic of the dreaded Yule Ball finally came up.

“Are you going with anyone?” Severus asked, avoiding Lily’s gaze. Lily leaned back in her seat and sighed.

“Nope,” she smiled, a bit sadly, “I don’t even want to go really, but it seems silly not to now that I’ve decided to stay,” she shrugged and looked back at Severus, “How about you?”

Severus felt his face warm, he shook his head in a feeble attempt to conceal a blush, “I don’t think I’ll go” he said, and Lily raised an eyebrow quizzically “I mean, no I’m not going with anyone,” he said very pointedly.

Lily suddenly felt the air between them change, and something about it made her feel a bit nervous.

“H-have you asked anyone?” she enquired, though a little hesitantly.

Severus chuckled to himself and looked at her.

“Of course I haven’t,” they both smiled.

The bells for dinner rang out at that moment, startling Severus out of his seat.

“I’ll see you later then,” he said, hurrying off towards the Slytherin table.

“See you later,” she called out, as her Gryffindor friends began to arrive to take their seats.

[scribeofred]

ALL OF EM

fine fine, bully me into it

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

As spacespirit and I were hashing out ideas and writing the outline, we settled on a four-scene system for each chapter: the first one year ago in past tense, second present time in present tense, a cut to the next chapter’s main POV to foreshadow, then a return to the main POV. It seemed like an effective way to tell the story we wanted to share, although it did mean we weren’t able to flesh out certain areas (our antagonist) as much as we wanted, which is why we began a sequel.

 2: What scene did you first put down?

This is technically SS’s area, since she wrote the first draft, but this is sitting at the very top of our outline and the only line we prewrote:

“Virgil, I just had my screaming brother’s body bleeding out under my hands. Do you think I’m okay?”

 3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

HRMMM. I haven’t actually finished re-reading the last two chapters they’re long, okay, so I’m not certain, but I’ve always liked ‘Bits of glass twinkle in her dark, curly hair and spread across her shoulders like droplets of starlight.’ But also: ‘Virgil’s eyes flicker between him and Scott, glinting like coals under pressure as they catch the light.’ Because Virgil has pretty eyes.

 4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

No specific line comes to mind, but again, that might change as I finish proofreading. The final chapter has some fantastic conversations. Out of the stuff I’ve read so far, SS has always written a killer Gordon, such as this passage from chapter two:

“I’m on messenger duty,” Gordon announces, as though International Rescue has a ground runner instead of the world’s most advanced comms system. “Apparently I’m a pawn now, because they’ve had me racing between buildings ever since—well. You know. Anyway, I came to tell you that more firefighters have arrived and are on their way now. Heading to Virg’s position first, I’m afraid—the hospital has priority, which means this baby’s going to have to burn a little while longer. Scott and John are practically finished.” A grin stretches beneath worried eyes. “They demanded I check on you.”

 5: What part was hardest to write?

Only SS knows. I got the unbelievable pleasure of merely rewriting the whole story. Apparently John gave her quite a bit of trouble, iirc.

 6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

SS and I wrote it together, so that was a novel—ha—experience. I didn’t have to do, what is for me, the extremely difficult process of writing the first draft, I just had to rewrite it into a tighter and/or expanded version.

 7: Where did the title come from?

The idea of mirrors and the dual nature of all the scenes, the fact that everything seems to be happening a second time. The duology was going to be called Fractured and the second fic Diffraction. We spent a whole evening flicking through Wikipedia pages trying to settle on the right trio of names, because writers. and I may post the sequel chapters here who knows

 8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Not on my part, but I was merely rewriting, not writing

 9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

There was an alternate idea we were playing with for chapters four and five, which would have required we rewrite baaaaasically everything, and maybe we might have gone through with it if we could’ve made it work. It would have required huge effort, though, and I didn’t feel up to undertaking the process by myself.

 10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

nonapplicable.

 11: What do you like best about this fic?

Probably the fact that we successfully blended the worlds of TOS and TAG into the ideal combination we both had existing in our heads prior to writing Reflection, and that we agreed on far, far more elements than we argued over. The whole process was surprisingly easy, which made it really enjoyable to work on. It was far more fun than it was frustrating.

 12: What do you like least about this fic?

The emotions are A Bit Dramatic sometimes; maybe one day I’ll do a large-scale edit and tone them down.

 13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Oh! I mostly listen to instrumental music while reading/writing/editing, but I very vividly remember reading the first draft of Virgil’s chapter and listening to Mr Fijiwiji’s “We Are the Lights”. I also listened to it on a loop during the seven hour drive home from my grandpa’s funeral and managed to rewrite almost all of Virgil’s chapter during that time. I always think of that day and this story when I hear it now. Aside from that, no, Reflection doesn’t have a single song or a playlist associated with it, not for me. I remember the images I used in Scrivener for each chapter more than the music.

 14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I know I didn’t set out with any sort of learning-driven agenda, and SS and I never discussed including a moral or anything of the sort. We just wanted to write an entertaining story, foremost for ourselves, but hopefully something the fandom at large could enjoy.

 15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

I learned that SS writes INCREDIBLY FAST FIRST DRAFTS. Seriously, it’s mind-boggling. Seven thousand words would drop into my lap, and I’d just stare. Regarding myself… I learned that having a co-author is the way I prefer to write, and that it’s very, very, very difficult to find another co-author who’s on the same level as her. Writing Reflection was an experience I can only describe as having an author-soulmate.

[theaceofgays]

Misconceptions Ch 7: Missives

Fandom: Little Witch Academia | Pairing: Dianakko/Diakko

Word Count: 1,584  | Read Time: ~ 6 minutes

First Chapter | Previous Chapter

Summary: Akko and Diana write letters

Akko,

You came to me in a point in my life where I was absolutely certain that things were set in stone. I hadn’t imagined that I could ever be so wrong as to be blind to your intentions. You were so ignorant in the ways of tradition, that I became ignorant in the ways of you. The truth is I wasn’t quite sure how to handle someone like you. You’re stubborn, but also selfless, righteous, and all kinds of incredible. I could never put to words just what it is about you that has always been alluring. You’ve always managed to hold a sense of mystery and wonder, and bring forth a wave of nostalgia everywhere you go. I was wrong to ever think that you and I were too different. I was more concerned with where we collided that I ignored where you and I are the same, and I say ignored because I always knew the similarities were there, but I avoided them. I’ve always been afraid to get too close to people, but I’ve seen how you have no fear when it comes to attachments, which is something I’m envious of. These are not excuses, but observations I have made. This letter is meant as a confession, but also as an apology. I am terribly sorry for the way I’ve treated you, and the assumptions I made under the heat of the moment, and I wish to make amends in any way possible. I would understand if you are upset with me, as I can clearly see now that you were only trying to correct a misconception that I had drawn. Even if you do not accept my apology, you deserve to know that I am deeply, sincerely sorry, and I hope that one day you’ll forgive me, and we can find it in us to turn our relations around.

Sincerely,

Diana Cavendish

Fingernails dug under the envelope’s flap meticulously as Akko popped the wax seal right off, moving into the room a she did. She sat down on her bed, laid down, sat up, stood up, and then moved to sit at the desk. She knew that as soon as she read it, she would have to reply. She needed a proper reply to Diana anyway. One that wasn’t just a “k thanks” on a notecard slipped under her door. She wanted something meaningful. But first, she’d have to follow Diana’s lead. Akko tugged the parchment out of the envelope carefully, as if the smallest motion could tear the paper. She unfolded it and read the contents, once, twice, thrice, eyes tracing the pen marks, trailing the way Diana’s handwriting coiled on the page in elegant loops and swoops, like the migration pattern of birds or like long, winding currents. She traced her fingers over the letters as she reached the end of the letter, following along Diana’s signature. She imagined how Diana’s name would look next to Akko’s and Akko’s next to Diana’s and shook her head. No, she needed to focus. She took out a quill pen, she scrawled out her words carefully on a fresh sheet of paper, and she folded it and placed it in its own envelope. The following day she would slip the letter to Diana in class, when she was too focused on the lecture to notice, perhaps tuck it in her textbooks or just place it on her desk. Either way, Akko wrote knowing that her final product was going to be seen by Diana, and hopefully by Diana only.

Dear Diana,

I’m not good at writing letters. In fact, I don’t think I’m very good with speaking either, but I wanted to tell you that I accept your apology. I am honestly amazed that we had the same idea. I was on my way to my room to write you a note myself when I found yours. Has anyone ever told you you have really pretty handwriting? I mean that’s expected of the great Diana Cavendish, so I wouldn’t be surprised. Anyways, since we’re clearing the air, there are a few things I would like to tell you, but I’m not entirely sure how you’d react. I know things are weird, especially after the misunderstanding in the library, which, by the way, was all Amanda’s doing. She was teasing me about something- it’s basically a long story and I don’t think you’d really want to bother with the details. Regardless, I’m going to tell you, at some point. Maybe in person? I feel like letters are cheating. Anyway, I agree with what you said about turning things around. I really want us to get on the right foot now instead of the wrong one. Thanks for writing to me. Maybe I’ll see another letter soon.

Love,

Kagari Akko

Diana had turned the note over and over in her hands before she had opened it. It was late at night when she had discovered the envelope, stashed away one of her textbooks, with her name scratched onto it in big, block letters. Akko’s handwriting, no doubt. She tried not to be too eager opening it, taking in a sharp breath as her eyes glided through every line. It wasn’t that long, or, not as long as hers, but it still took Diana a while to read given the amount of ink blotches from Akko scratching things out, and parts where Diana simply couldn’t read Akko’s writing by first glance and had to read around words and make guess work. She’d gone over it a few times before she picked it apart in its entirety, each time stopping over Akko’s signature. She’d written “Love, Kagari Akko” and not sincerely. Diana tried not to think much of it each time she saw it. She tried. And failed. And then remembered Akko was worried about something, even though Diana had already apologized for her misconduct. Taking in a breath, she took a moment to draft a proper response in her head before her quill met parchment and she began writing away.

Dear Akko,

In all honesty I hadn’t expected you to write back this quickly, or at all. Perhaps we could meet for tea and discuss things? I know in your letter you said you wished to talk about something, and I would like to let you know that I am nothing to fear. We are friends after all, or I would like to believe so. What time works best for you? My door is always open for you, Akko. I promise you can tell me anything.

Yours,

Diana Cavendish

The second note Akko had received directly from Diana. She’d passed it to her in class and Akko barely had time to focus on the words as the crowds of students rushed out for lunch. She had to stop reading to reread in the cafeteria, a dangerous task indeed, but one that went without much trouble, despite Sucy’s constant teasing and Lotte’s scolding from across the table. Akko was quick to scrawl out a reply, this time folding it up and placing it on Diana’s tray as she stepped out of the line in the cafeteria. Even as she watched Diana sit down and open the note, she could feel her heart pounding in her ears. She kept thinking about how Diana signed her name, “Yours” above it. She wanted that to be true more than anything, and she bit down on her thumb nail while she watched Diana read the note before tucking it away.

Diana,

Tea sounds great. I can meet you at your room tomorrow at 4 PM. Hopefully that’s enough of a notice so that you won’t be busy, but if not, we can always wait until the end of the week. I really do hope you meant what you said about me being able to tell you anything, because I’m nervous about what you might say, but I have faith that things will turn out alright. Anyway, I’m not sure how to end this so I hope this is good enough,

Love,

Kagari Akko

Diana slipped the note away and thought about everything she needed to do. Tomorrow was relatively busy, but she could reschedule some of her activities in favor of this conversation she needed to have with Akko. She didn’t want to go back on her word, after all, since she had promised Akko she would be available whenever she needed her. As Hannah and Barbara sat down, she told them that she specifically needed the privacy of their room for an hour or so, explaining to them that she promised to speak with “a friend” on “pressing matters”. They didn’t question her, they never do, and Diana was specifically grateful for that. She didn’t want things to go south after getting this opportunity.

Akko,

Yes, tomorrow should work. I have set things up accordingly so that Hannah and Barbara will not disrupt us in any way or means. After all, this is a private matter and I know that you are not on the best terms with them. I will see you then,

Yours,

Diana Cavendish

Akko had received the note under her door this time, just as she had finished changing out of her uniform. A soft smile rose on her lips as she glanced it over. She set the letter down with the others in her possession, and plopped down on her bed. “Tomorrow…” she mumbled, her last word before she drifted to sleep.

(Next Chapter)

[avelera]

Prayers to Broken Stone structure/character arc breakdown

So I’m learning a bunch in my writing class about how to put together character arcs, plots, and causal chains of events. In doing so I realized the only story I’ve written that has those elements in any sort of deliberate fashion was Prayers to Broken Stone (probably because it had 2 drafts). I decided to go through the story in my head and figure out exactly what I did there, though the lens of what I’ve learned. 

This essay could be helpful for people who want to walk through the thought process of how a character arc and plot are put together, but I’m also going to point out places where I think PTBS failed to have a strong structure, so it’s a bit of a peak behind the curtain that maybe not everyone wants to have. I also discuss what I would do if there was ever a 3rd draft. This is mostly me explaining my lessons to myself, so may be a bit rambling and long, but it’s available for those who are interested!

For me at least, I don’t generally figure out the mechanics of a story until I’ve finished a first draft, and I don’t think it’s actually got everything it could be until I’ve done a second draft. I’ve only done a second draft for one sizable work and that was with Prayer to Broken Stone, so I’m going to talk about the mechanics of Prayers for a second and how my dumb ass ambled backwards into a story that actually had a plot for once.

Chapter 1 - Actually sucked and was kinda rambling, so let’s just say Chapter 1-3 were actually chapter 1. This is the elements the first 3 chapters had that would, ideally help to think about when writing a different novel. I’m also going to talk about some places where I failed pretty badly though.

- Chapter 1-3 did well in that it opened with a character. The world is filtered through his perspective (Bilbo, and Thorin for chapter 2). All of the world is shown through their subjective, NOT objective eyes (when the description is actually good). Meaning everything is colored by their perception and the description actually serves a PURPOSE, which reveals character by showing how they see things (the wind is uncomfortable because they are uncomfortable, the world outside may be objectively beautiful but all they can see is the bad things like the army outside their door because it’s drawing their focus).

Tip: When writing a novel or story, avoid long, objective passages of description. Description should serve multiple purposes, either strengthening the setting, plot, or characters of the story. Description filtered through the lens of a character is better for the story. Ex. “It was a nice day and the sun was shining, but Bob didn’t care.” vs. “The birds were screeching, the sun hurt his eyes, and Bob was pissed off that he had already sweated through his shirt. Nice day my ass, he thought.” The second line tells us much more about the character, AND we learned what the weather was like, so everyone wins! 

One time I ambled ass-backwards into doing description correctly was the ch. 2 with the descriptions of Thorin’s transformation serving the story and not just being objective, like in the tip above. Thorin doesn’t see everything in the room like an omniscient narrator would. He only sees the things he cares about, which are the scales emerging on his skin, which he sees with hyper-detail which allows me to wax poetic for a bit. Also he’s surrounded by treasure, but I don’t describe all of the treasure, because it’s not relevant.

He sees a silver bowl, which he notices because it’s a reflective surface and his goal is to figure out what is happening to him. This goal is thwarted by an obstacle, which is the dragon sickness itself trying to lure him into a false sense of calm, literally putting him to sleep, so he can’t do the thing he wants to do which is presumably fix the problem. 

(This is probably a bit weak, and in a 3rd draft I would strengthen the reason that Thorin doesn’t just run out of the mountain screaming right at that moment but eh, hopefully I got away with it here and did so by introducing new elements about how dragon sickness works, which makes it hopefully more scary for the audience and raises tension.)

Tip: A character should have a goal, but they shouldn’t reach the goal too easily or there’s no tension or reason for the audience to keep reading. To raise the tension we need OBSTACLES and/or SETBACKS. How characters REACT when they’re confronted with these obstacles shows us more about the story, it often makes us like the character more and/or become more invested in their struggle, and it raises tension.

Chapter 3, Bilbo wakes up on the battlefield like he did on the book. (As I was trying to establish the book events so we could move on ASAP.) The goal that gets handed to him by Gandalf (that could have been strengthened a bit by him volunteering himself but eh, I was cribbing Tolkien) is to go check on Thorin. Bilbo was already worried about Gandalf, so he does the thing he already wanted to do even more, which is go check on Thorin. Again, this could have been a stronger scene if he didn’t want to go see Thorin because he was still afraid, but I guess that kind of happens in chapter 4, where the story actually properly begins. We’re still kind of “driving to the story” here, something that is discouraged. People want to start where the action is.

Tip: Avoid “Driving to the Story”, start us if possible in a scene where the action has already begun, framed in a way that you don’t need to flashback. Usually this is about 3 pages or a few hundred words into whatever you’ve written, because by then you’ve finished clearing your throat and you’ve finally arrived at the story. Now go back and cut the part where you weren’t there yet and boom, instant tension and audience attention.

Chapter 4 - the game pieces are in place, the story can begin. Except I decided we need to “drive to the story” a bit too much, we don’t need to, I could have just begun with Bilbo at the cave entrance about to go in (which I think I did sort of?? But yeah, you didn’t need to see Bilbo climbing the mountain again, we get it already that he had to).

Bilbo is reluctant to return to the mountain but his goal to help Thorin forces him to throw caution to the wind, he hears Thorin’s pained screaming from the events of chapter 2, presumably Thorin is only unconscious for a few minutes (oops, just found a logic plothole) because Bilbo is now running into the mountain.

Drama! Character! Action! We like Bilbo (I hope) because he has a strong goal: which is to help someone who is in pain! Hopefully we’re feeling suspense: will he accomplish his goal?? How is he doing it? Action! He’s running! His internal fear is now external (much of PTBS is about internal things like self-loathing becoming outside things like dragon scales, so this works thematically too, yay!) he’s not sitting in a room stressing about Thorin, he’s doing something about it, which we like, which makes us cheer for him!

He arrives to the treasury where Thorin is suffering the early onset of physical dragon sickness. Now there’s 2 apparent options on the table: 1) he helps Thorin 2) he doesn’t help. But we’re going to go with option 3 because both of those don’t really go anywhere which is 3) He finds Thorin, but Thorin is having a dragon sickness fit and tries to kill him.

Tip: Never set up a story that only has 2 options at the end: they do A or B. Always go with C. C consists of “they do A BUT something else happens” or “they do B, AND there’s unforeseen consequences”. This also applies for the end of your story, the end should be surprising (not just A or B) but inevitable (C) and shouldn’t be something that comes totally out of nowhere (Z).

I switched over to Thorin’s POV there because I thought it would create more tension and be scarier. We know Bilbo is entering the room, we’re wondering what will happen next. But oh no! Now we’re in Thorin’s head and all Thorin sees is an intruder. Hopefully this is both revealing the character and revealing the problem as well as setting up later events: Thorin occasionally has fits where he can’t tell friend from foe.

Tip: Don’t save the best for last. IE not all revelations should be saved for the end. Says there’s a guy who is about to go into the room where the killer is hiding. If he goes into that room, he might be killed! Yes you can do a twist where we’re surprised he gets killed, but now the story can’t be re-read because we know the twist. You can instead let us know the killer is in that room, and now there’s tension. Will the character go in? Won’t he? I hope he doesn’t! Maybe at the last minute we get option C, he starts to go in, but someone calls him away, but then the killer appears behind him and kills him! It’s not necessarily creative or original, but it is more tense and we don’t feel cheated because we didn’t know the killer was in there because we weren’t told. Now we know more things, and we’re stressing (ie there’s tension) about what will happen next.

Drama, action, character!  Thorin’s internal problem of not being able to distinguish friend from foe is made external! He attacks! He and Bilbo don’t just amble up to each other and have a calm conversation about uh oh, bad things are happening. Thorin tries to kill him because he doesn’t know who he is! It’s now pretty heavily implied that something bad is happening and we see it through action instead of navel gazing, and this action reveals character and plot, it’s not gratuitous.

Chapter 5 - info dump and lots of talking heads conversation. What redeems this chapter is something called an “adversarial ally”. Friends who want to help friends are great, but if the sidekick is just passively going along with what the protagonist’s asks for, not much is happening. Thorin and Bilbo need to clear the air, that’s my goal as a writer. But what do they want in this scene?

Tip: Don’t just have helpful sidekicks, have sidekicks (or side characters) who FIGHT with the protagonist. This gives you a fun way to do exposition! Kirk and McCoy arguing about what to do on the planet is way more interesting than Kirk saying what he’s going to do (which may be a dumb idea) and McCoy just agreeing to go along. Also we learn a lot when character’s argue, and we feel involved as audience members.

Well, Bilbo who is the POV character, wants to know what the heck happened to Thorin. But there’s an obstacle! He and Thorin have a lot of bad blood between them from the Arkenstone incident. They have to trust each other again before he can unlock Thorin’s tragic backstory (aka, what happened in chapter 2).

Talking heads scenes can be hard to make interesting, so it’s better for tension if they argue. This scene could probably have been shorter in some ways, but I need to thoroughly convince the audience that they are at least back to a working relationship so they can tackle the bigger problem, even if there’s still some lingering hurt between them. The argument escalates until Bilbo draws a sword on Thorin (well, not really, but it reveals that he wanted to). What probably isn’t very good in this scene is things like how quickly they resolve everything (it takes away tension I could have used later), and the fact that Bilbo just gives up on his tirade in reaction to his own attempt at violence, and there’s a bit of narrative convenience and author’s hand showing when Thorin just gets on the same page and asks Bilbo why he stole the Arkenstone, and admits he’s ashamed of his own behavior. Hopefully I got away with this through doing the voices well, but there are some logical leaps here because I was trying to get to the bigger point of them working together.

Skipping ahead (because I don’t want to do the whole fic) - They’ve met up and Bilbo has settled in for the long haul of curing Thorin. Again, logical leap there, they could just leave then, but I tried to foreshadow the sinister nature of the disease that they don’t just leave there. And at first, Thorin wanting to keep his dignity and not be seen with scales is also keeping him from going out, and Bilbo goes along with him on this in order to keep their tense relationship from blowing up again, and because it doesn’t seem like too bad of an idea there.

It’s a little mushy there, admittedly. This is probably because I hadn’t worked out a strong causal link around everything that was happening. The story is unified by the need to cure Thorin’s disease, and there’s the beginnings of themes around the need to want to be cured, and of Thorin’s real character arc in this story, which in addition to curing the dragon sickness/depression parallel, is also about shame vs. courage. He doesn’t want to be seen because he’s ashamed, he worries that he deserves what is happening to him and he’d rather try and fail to find a cure-- and die in the dark where no one can see him-- rather than reach out for help.

I didn’t know it when writing that scene at the time necessarily, but it means the climax of Thorin’s emotional arc has 2 big points. One is the big one where he scrapes away the scales and decides his life is worth it, he doesn’t have to die alone just to maintain the good opinion of others.

But there was another, more selfless arc which was set up with him not wanting to go outside for a cure back at the beginning, which is when Bilbo’s wounding forces him to carry Bilbo to safety, when he wasn’t willing to take himself to safety. He hears voices, not just of Gandalf but of his kin, the people that it was his greatest goal to avoid seeing what he has become. He wavers, tries to think of other solutions, and realizes he must expose himself and his transformation to them in order to save Bilbo’s life. That was the pride and humility character arc, or perhaps shame and courage arc as it could also be called. 

Thorin is a very brave character, except when it comes to this transformation which has exposed so much of the vulnerability and self-loathing he has hidden from the world and his family, and he needs to recover his courage in order to be in the room where he finds the cure in the next scene. He also needs to do something for Bilbo, who has done so much for him, and he needs to do something Bilbo asks him to do. Now, this theme somewhat contradicts the other theme of the fact Thorin lives too much for the opinion of others and needs to break out of that, but I like to think of it as a stepping stone emotional climax to the big one of ending the transformation. Yes he shouldn’t be worrying so much about the opinions of others, but before he can reach that revelation, he needs to reclaim his courage in facing his kin and learn that yes they do still recognize him and no they don’t blame him for it, and that blame he so feared was entirely in his head (just like much of the dragon voice). There’s all sorts of symbolism and stuff in that.

So in essence, Thorin had to go into the mountain because of pride/dragon sickness, he gets sicker, in order to get better he has to admit to Bilbo that he has a problem, they agree to work together, they go to do research to cure him BUT there’s an obstacle! Mim’s tablet gives him information, but it also makes him worse, not better, because his despair over learning that this curse is meant to be permanent actually strengthens the disease! (A big hint that the disease is emotionally based) 

Thorin goes back to the gold to feel better but there’s another obstacle! Bilbo reveals that he sees Thorin as monstrous now, they need to talk to overcome this obstacle! They have some downtime for processing all that has happened (ch. 9) and in that, Thorin’s disease is actually halted, though he doesn’t really notice or put together the implications that good food, rest, and companionship are the source of that halt. 

The boys instead go off on an incorrect tangent to solve Thorin’s illness, they decide it must be something external and physical, like a dragon’s claw. They go to find and destroy it but OBSTACLE, more tension! Bilbo’s ring has set up a trigger which makes Thorin’s disease worse (this probably wouldn’t work in a novel because the Ring would come out of left field and isn’t connected to events, but as a fanfic writer I have more freedom to draw on elements not directly connected to the story). Thorin and Bilbo’s hard work at making him better backfires, huge obstacle, enough that Thorin is pushed to a near suicide attempt in chapter 11, and only Bilbo taking action to stop him prevents this in chapter 12, where I take another break from the action to tell more about them falling in love.

Hopefully keeping the story going though is the danger of Thorin’s transformation, effectively a ticking time bomb which means even soft moments are tense in some way. That’s because there’s a GOAL in ch. 11 and 12. However, Thorin’s goal has changed. He now wants to die with dignity. Bilbo’s goal is to prevent this, so his goal is the same, but he doesn’t dare leave Thorin alone to get help. This creates TENSION between them as they want different things.

Tip: Characters wanting different things puts them in conflict, which creates tension and plot!

The story could stall out there a bit, and admittedly I got stuck writing this section because the goals were less clear. Bilbo is forced by a new element, Thorin’s dragon spell, to try to kill Thorin. Bilbo’s GOAL is to NOT kill Thorin, and it creates tension as he fights off the impulse, and Gandalf, Fili, and Kili enter. Notice they did not enter until the audience is SCREAMING for them to enter, wondering where they are. And that’s another important thing to learn: don’t serve what the audience wants BEFORE the audience wants it so badly they can taste it. That goes for exposition too. You don’t NEED to know why Thorin is transforming in chapter 2, because you haven’t felt the implications of it yet, only when the story CANNOT go forward without more information do you give that information (see: the library scene).

Tip: Don’t give exposition up front, wait until the audience cannot possibly wait another second longer, and then give them the info. This means don’t do what Tolkien did and have a 50 page prologue about what hobbits are at the beginning of Lord of the Rings. We don’t need that information yet. We’re not wondering what hobbits are yet, it’s not relevant. What we want to know at the beginning is what is the plot, what’s going to happen, who are the characters, and if there’s magic or some other weird element we need to know ASAP.

Tip: If a story is going to have magic in a setting where it might not otherwise, you have to give this fact as soon as possible. Preferably in the first paragraph, ideally in the first LINE. “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit,” is a fantastic first line for that reason. We don’t want to get 10 pages into The Hobbit and then find out that Bilbo isn’t a human! It will mess up our perception of the story and piss us off.

Chapter 14-19 Thorin gets a new goal! First it’s to get revenge on Bilbo for revealing his transformation to his kin (Fili and Kili who Thorin thinks Bilbo betrayed him to), and then it’s to save Bilbo’s life once they’re trapped. There’s a bit of authorial hand showing there, to keep them away from the thing that they want (or at least, what Bilbo wants) which is to find Gandalf and get Thorin the cure. But this is Thorin’s character arc, as an author I know he’s not ready for the cure yet, so it’s delayed with tension and with stabbing Bilbo so he’s faced with the ultimate choice.

Some people thought the love confession was odd in chapter 15 because they expected it in the climax. The reason I put it there was because I have a different view of love confessions: I think they raise stakes instead of lowering them. My philosophy is that having feelings out in the open creates a GREATER sense of responsibility. Thorin and Bilbo could have technically parted ways back in chapter 5, because their love wasn’t in the open yet and technically they had no obligation to each other besides friendship and a secret crush. Thorin is ready to die by ch. 15 but can’t because Bilbo is in danger if he does, the Thorin of ch. 5 could have theoretically killed himself and left Bilbo to figure out his own exit from the mountain, or Bilbo could have left sooner to seek his own safety. A Thorin and Bilbo who have openly confessed their love however CANNOT simply abandon each other. They have to see this through to the end now.

Back to Thorin’s ultimate choice - what he has wanted most, MORE than being cured this entire story, is for his kin not to see what has happened to him. Him and Bilbo falling in love and confessing that love has given him a second goal which until now has not been in conflict with his first goal, because Bilbo is doing his best to help Thorin find a cure and is allowing him to stay away from his kin (note, their biggest fights are whenever Bilbo trips over Thorin’s desire to stay away from his family in Bilbo’s pursuit of HIS goal which is to see Thorin get better).

Now Thorin has to choose: let his kin see him, or let Bilbo (the love of his life) die. That choice creates tension and conflict. Once Bilbo’s life is no longer in IMMEDIATE danger (we think!) then we could freely tackle Thorin’s OTHER big issue which is curing his transformation (ch. 19-20). The obstacle THERE was that he’s made a deal that effectively sold his soul to the devil for the ability to save Bilbo (in ch. 17-18) and now the devil is coming to collect.

Thorin must now make ANOTHER difficult decision: give in to his self-loathing and conviction about his own monstrosity and helplessness in the face of this curse, or fight for his own life which it’s revealed he sees as worthless and not worth fighting for, in a horrible internal loop which strengthened the dragon all along. Yes he needs external voices to push him over the edge into fighting, the voices of his loved ones telling him that this fight is worth having, but more importantly he needs his courage which he also regained a bit of when he carried Bilbo to be saved. Thorin as mentioned before is a pretty courageous guy, but he had fallen and lost his way, beaten down by this curse that made all his internal fears into an external appearance that all can now see. Yes, it’s a bit narratively convenient that all he had to do was decide to fight in order to win, but that’s because the vast majority of the fighting already happened when he made a courageous decision to save Bilbo’s life. That was the line that got him to the water’s edge, now he needed the resolve to pull himself out rather than drown.

Thorin’s character arc is the emotional arc of the story, he’s the main character who must make tough decisions. By contrast, Bilbo is a fairly reactive character, which is why to me he was harder to write and more passive. He’s doing things because Thorin set events in motion, he’s reacting to them, but then again, Thorin would give up and drown if not for Bilbo pushing him forward in some scenes, so they are ideally co-protagonists, or two halves of one protagonist, or whatever. 

However, I admit, Bilbo doesn’t really have much of an arc, and if I did a 3rd draft, I’d probably give him a stronger one. Bilbo wants Thorin to get better, and he succeeds, but he doesn’t change much as a result except for falling in love. Part of the problem there too is that Bilbo is already brave as a result of the events of The Hobbit, so his arc isn’t about becoming brave, he already is.

A better arc for Bilbo could be around issues of emotional intimacy. Thorin needs someone who will say unreservedly that he deserves to live, he deserves to have happiness, he deserves to be loved. Bilbo is from a repressed society and is generally a repressed person, admitting he’s in love with someone is very difficult for him, as is really admitting any emotion at all that isn’t extremely practical. 

Perhaps it’s tied up in how much his parents loved each other, he never thought he could have that for himself and so had resigned himself to never being in love at all, which in turn made him a very emotionally closed off person for all but polite pleasantries. Over the course of the story, his arc would be emotionally opening up to the much more emotionally honest Thorin. 

Thorin is many things in this story, but secretive about what he’s feeling is not one of them: the man is anguished. Bilbo has a polite veneer throughout, which on the one hand helps him stay afloat in a crazy situation, but on the other prevents him from reaching his true goal, which is helping Thorin heal. I’d probably need to throw in some more obstacles for him, such as moments where he tries to open up to Thorin, but something goes wrong. Or moments where Thorin desperately reaches out to him for some sort of confirmation of his own worth, and Bilbo is in too repressed a place emotionally to answer what he really feels (which is love for Thorin), which makes Thorin spiral even harder into his illness. 

Bilbo’s emotional arc may still be shorter as a result, and resolve before Thorin’s: the climax is on the throne, when he can’t admit to Thorin (who is essentially dying that he loves him), something that might have given Thorin the strength to seek help. This decision haunts Bilbo, and makes him resolve to change. Bilbo’s arc is fulfilled in ch. 15 then when he finally blurts out that he loves Thorin and then of course he gets stabbed which is a new arc for him: survive.

This arc IS in there, but it’s buried, and a 3rd draft would probably see a version where that’s brought more to the front and Bilbo gets more of his own things to struggle for and more obstacles that prevent him from achieving what he needs to do.

In the end, both characters get what they want, and the epilogue is me rather self-indulgently showing them afterwards, where their goals are much simpler: be together. They need some reassurance that it wasn’t just panic and heightened emotion that made them fall in love.

They need recovery from their ordeal, and the point of that ordeal was that it made them both see the world differently, Thorin in particular is better able to manage his emotions when it comes to those who have slighted him, and he’s more easy in his own skin, and more assured of his own worth, which makes him a better king. Bilbo’s recovery would probably be something like reassurance that his love confession wasn’t for nothing, that there is a place for him here, that he’s achieved what Bungo and Belladonna, and basically what is called “a reassertion of domesticity” - aka he won his domestic happy ending. Thorin needs some of that reassurance too, because his arc was tied up in whether or not his life was worth anything, and the love of others contributes to that reassurance, though it isn’t the sole source of his worth. Bilbo’s arc is also complete in reassuring himself that Thorin is safe and healthy, which was Bilbo’s goal the whole time.

So anyway, this is me trying to retroactively understand what I’m learning in my writing class, though the lens of the only story I think I’ve written that actually has some decent structure to it. Hopefully from now on I can start to put novels like this together on purpose, instead of by accident!

[kmze]

One Hell of a Lucky Guy

Steroline (sort of?) AU future fic - prompt what if Caroline meet one of Stefan’s doppelgangers in the future. Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Chapter 5

It had been about a week since the greenhouse incident and Caroline was still completely spooked, especially after her and Paul had searched the greenhouse inch by inch for any signs of a stray to no avail. Paul tried to convince her that it was probably just a strong draft and that maybe the plant had been too close to the edge of the table but Caroline knew better, she knew it was a sign that she needed to put a stop to this before it went too far.

 She told Paul she’d call him before he left but she avoided it completely for days before feeling too guilty deciding to send a text instead during the middle of the week that she’d been swamped with the first week of school so spare time was limited. He seemed to understand, because of course he did, but still he wasn’t one to give up completely and as he replied that when she got some free time he’d love to see her again, she didn’t reply even when it left a pit in her stomach.

 Josie and Lizzie told her she was crazy (nothing new of course) and that all she was doing was psyching herself out. They knew she liked Paul and they knew she felt like she was betraying Stefan but they wanted her to let herself be happy. She tried to reason with them that it wasn’t just about her happiness, that the plant was a sign from the universe and Caroline had dealt with enough bad omens to last her a lifetime and she knew that when the universe is telling you something you listen.

 So now here she was sitting in her room drinking wine looking at her wedding photos wallowing in her own self pity, torturing herself over the happiest and worst day of her life. That is until her bedroom door flew open completely on its own. “Oh my god!” she screamed and she knew it she knew the bad omen was true she reached for her phone to call one of the old professors who used to deal in curses until a tiny beautiful black woman with wavy light brown curls yelled “Gotcha!” and jumped into Caroline’s arms.

 Caroline was so shocked she couldn’t even process what had just happened but as soon as she realized her best friend was in her arms the tears of joy started flowing “Oh my god Bonnie you’re here I missed you so much” she gives her another big giant squeeze “I thought you wouldn’t be back until next semester?” as she lifted her up and spun the little witch in her arms.

 Bonnie pulled back to look at Caroline before saying “I wasn’t planning on it but Josie called me and said you’d convinced yourself you we’re cursed and you’d been wallowing in your room every night this week.” Bonnie gave her that signature judge-y look of hers since she could tell that was exactly what Caroline was doing at this very moment “she also mentioned something about guy drama” as Bonnie wiggled her eyebrows at Caroline.

 Caroline shook her head at Josie telling Bonnie all her secrets over the phone “Okay first of all I do not think I’m cursed because I am not allowing these bad omens to take it that far and second of all there is no guy drama because there is no guy, at least not anymore” as she did her best ‘so there’ look at Bonnie.

 “Oh no was he that bad in bed?” Bonnie questioned trying to keep a straight face as Caroline lightly shoved her best friend and she laughed “Ugh Bonnie no I mean I wouldn’t know anyway we never even kissed” she said lightly as she moved to grab another wine glass for her friend filling it up and grabbing hers as well.

 Bonnie took the wine and relished in a long sip before her interrogation continued “so he’s ugly?” Bonnie nodded as if she’d figured the whole thing out and Caroline had to stop herself from spitting her wine out all over her face. “Nope definitely not ugly” as Caroline took a long sip thinking how well Paul’s looks were her biggest problem his attractiveness was definitely not part of it.

 “So then what is it Care because nothing is adding up as to why you’d be wallowing over a guy who you haven’t even kissed yet. I know you, I’ve known you for almost fifty years and you only get like this when a guy gets under your skin.” Bonnie says as she stares intently at her best friend “so just tell me what is it about this um Peter?” “Paul” Caroline corrects her “Right Paul I knew Josie said something with a ‘P’ so tell me what is it about this Paul that has you acting like a crazier person than usual?”

 Caroline sighs figuring there’s no use hiding it anymore, she knows Bonnie and she knows she’s not letting it go until she just tells her the truth. “Well it’s just that he’s funny, a loving father, looks exactly like Stefan, chivalrous, he-” as Bonnie almost chokes on her wine to interrupt “um I’m sorry what? Did you say he looks exactly like Stefan as in your very much rest-in-peace-dead husband Stefan?” Caroline nods slowly eyes wide “yep that would be the one” downing her glass completely.

 “Huh so those doppelgangers really are just going to keep popping up because I am not looking forward to the next Katherine Pierce” as Bonnie takes another sip smiling coyly at her friend. Caroline scoffs at Bonnie’s nonchalant reaction to finding out the route of her current crisis as if it means nothing “that’s it? That’s all you got from my current meltdown is that ‘oh well doppelganger shenanigans’ seriously Bonnie! What the hell am I going to do?” Caroline said with a frustrated sigh.

 Bonnie put her glass down and places her hands on her friend’s shoulders forcing her to look at her completely before saying “you are going to do what makes you happy Caroline, because that is what you deserve and you are going to stop worrying about how this could be betraying Stefan because he would want you to be happy too.” Then suddenly Bonnie turns Caroline towards the strewn wedding photos across her bedroom table “but I know you don’t believe that because otherwise you wouldn’t be looking at your wedding album” she pauses before continuing “reliving painful memories of what could have been stopping yourself from moving forward with something that can make you just as happy.”

 Caroline shakes her head feeling like Bonnie isn’t getting the point “no Bonnie you don’t get it it’s not just about the fact that I think I’m betraying Stefan I can feel that I am, when Josie told you I thought I was cursed it’s because of this moment in the greenhouse a week ago. I was about to let Paul kiss me and I really really wanted him to kiss me but then when the plant fell I just, I don’t know I felt Stefan again and I could just feel that I was hurting him” she lets out a frustrated sigh “you’re the only person I’ve admitted that to I know no one else is going to believe me.”

 Bonnie gave Caroline a sad smile before giving Caroline a soothing hug “of course I believe you Care and maybe you’re right maybe Stefan is watching you and yeah maybe he’s a little hurt, although I think pursuing doppelgangers is something he shouldn’t be so judgmental about” Bonnie cheekily stated “but the only way for you to feel at peace about this is if you talk to him and tell him how you feel.”  

 Caroline gave her friend a confused look “and how am I supposed to do that last I checked talking to the dead wasn’t something even the all mighty Bonnie Bennett had been able to do, at least not since the other side was destroyed.”

 “Well I never said you were going to get an answer from him but there is one spot where you know you can visit him and you know a part of him is still there. So if Stefan really was behind plant-gate then he will definitely give you another sign of which direction you should move forward in.” Bonnie smiled at Caroline before taking her hands and clasping them with her own. “When I could still see Enzo after he died he encouraged me to live my life and that he would be waiting for me when I’d lived it to the fullest. Even now when I can’t see or hear him anymore I can still feel him, and I think that’s what you’re feeling right now.”  Bonnie said hopeful.

 Caroline gave her a sweet smile while nodding back hopefully “okay I will, thanks Bonnie. Now let me put these photos away and uncork another bottle and you can tell me all about Thailand” she says as she starts clapping ready for the distraction of Bonnie’s latest excursion as Bonnie laughs at Caroline’s ever amazing enthusiasm.

 The next morning Caroline got up early and rushed out of the boarding school before any of the day’s classes started, she wanted to make sure she had zero distractions that could somehow prevent her from doing what she knew needed to be done. She dresses quickly put on a black dress with boots and a light cardigan over it, grabs her keys and closes the front door quietly before vamping to her car.

 On her way to the cemetery she stops at the flower shop buying a bouquet of red roses as she does every time she visits him, a tradition she says, just like the roses she left for him the day of his funeral.

 She arrives at the Salvatore crypt about a half an hour after leaving her home and places the roses in front of Stefan’s grave. She runs her fingers across the inscription making sure to trace each letter as she reads along in her mind. She does okay until she got to the ‘husband’ part and its impossible to stop the small sob from escaping while the tears begin to well up in her eyes. She wipes them away with her free hand as she mentally pushes herself forward to finishing the rest ‘friend now at peace’ she recites silently.

 ‘Now at peace’ she reminds herself again that this is true, that Stefan had finally found peace after so much pain in his life, pain caused by others and pain he’d inflicted. Perhaps that was always his burden; that he never really believed he deserved a happy ending, at least not in this world.

 It was something she loved and hated him for, that he would always sacrifice his own happiness for everyone else especially his family. He was kind and loyal but he was also stubborn and the one thing he could never do was let Damon die, even when Damon wanted him to. She understood that kind of priority for your family, she would never put anyone above her daughters, and she never resented Stefan for his need to save Damon she just wished he let himself be forgiven, because she knows Damon forgave him, he even told Stefan that he did but he never forgave himself.

 She tries again to stop another sob from escaping taking a long intake of breath before sitting down on the bench in the crypt to begin her speech.

 “Hey I know I’m early this month hope you don’t mind, I just really needed to talk to you. School started for the fall semester last week we’ve got one hundred and fifteen students now and we’ve already received four applications for the spring. I’ve even got an alumni association started up now, a few of our past students even asked about open positions on the faculty.” Caroline takes pause before thinking about everything she’s accomplished and the one person she hopes has seen it. “Hey the next time you see my Mom can you ask her if she’d proud of it? Even if I never know what she said I just want her to know that I hope she’s proud. She wanted me to be extraordinary and I just I really want to be that for her.” Caroline lowered her head as the tears started to fall and she gripped the edges of the bench to try and stop herself from falling over.

 Stefan reaches for her hand just like he had so many times in the past trying to steady her, trying to tell her it was going to be okay that he and Liz already talk once a week about the school. How last week Liz and he talked about all the kids who adored Caroline and how she’s transformed that dusty old boarding house into a beautiful fully functional school. How they theorized in another hundred years she’d probably have campuses all over the United States until she went global in the following century.

 He wanted so badly to tell her that, ‘you have me’ he thought as her sobs became louder and he pushes away the thought that starts creeping up in the back of his mind ‘not anymore’ as he shakes his head refusing to listen. He clutches her hand tighter willing for her to feel him to feel something until he hears her gasp.

 Suddenly she looks at her hand realizing it hadn’t been a leaf or a strong draft that grazed her hand, she felt him she knew it. It was exactly the same way he held her hand in this same crypt when she thought she’d lost Bonnie forever. She remembers it vividly like it was only yesterday, he had no memories but he still wanted to be there for her. “You have me,” she whispers looking at her hand before lifting her head to her side knowing that somehow some way he was sitting there with her.

 Stefan smiles through the tears in his eyes relieved that she felt him and even if she couldn’t see him right now at least she could feel that. He gave her hand another squeeze willing with everything he had for her to feel him again before he notices the small smile on her face. “Talk to me Caroline, please I’m right here okay.” He nods enthusiastically at her. ‘Finally’ he thinks feeling closer to her than he ever has in over thirty years and there’s no way in hell he’s going to waste it.

 Caroline takes a deep breath before thinking ‘maybe Bonnie was right’. He was definitely here with her and that meant that this was her moment, and she couldn’t waste it. “Stefan” she says before turning back towards his headstone, she reasoned it was easier to look ahead while trying and keep her composure.

 “I miss you so much” she whispers through her tears “and I would give anything anything to see you right now but at least I know you’re listening and you can see me.” Stefan nods along as she speaks “I always see you Caroline. I love you so much.”

 Caroline takes a few seconds to try and find the right way to say what she needs to say but every time she opens her mouth nothing comes out. How was she supposed to do this, how was she supposed to talk to him about this?

 Stefan noticing her hesitancy moves to kneel in front of her instead, just like he did the second time he proposed. “It’s okay Caroline you can tell me anything, ask me anything, we’re friends right? Tell each other things, trust each other?” he reaches for both her hands and starts rubbing them in a soothing circular motion “look about the plant I was being an ass, I let my jealousy get the best of me and I’m sorry. So please just tell me who you feel tell me what you want. Just talk to me.” He continues rubbing her hands until he notices that smile again telling him that she can feel him.

 Caroline is beaming on the inside savoring the knowledge that Stefan was right there in front of her just like the second time he proposed to her. She can’t hide her joy and the memory while thinking back to his words that night ‘it means I get to grow old with my best friend’ and she tries to remember him that way, her best friend. Caroline takes a deep breath before she begins “there’s no easy way to say this so I’m just going to let it all out with probably no tact and as my best friend you are obligated to just let me ramble and be crazy while you assure me that I’m not crazy.” She laughs and Stefan can’t help but laugh as well at her as he nodding along before saying “of course.”

 “I meet someone, one of your doppelgangers. I don’t know if he was actually born right after you passed or if this was just the law of averages and he’s here because that’s when another one of ‘you’ was due by the laws of magic or whatever and okay I’m rambling already.” She takes a deep breath before starting again “the point is I think no I know I like him, he makes me laugh and he’s sweet and when I’m around him I just… I feel like I can breathe again. That I can just let myself be happy.”

 Stefan smiles urging her to continue by drawing circles on her hands with his thumbs, “and I just. I need you to know that I’m not trying to replace you” she shakes her head emphasizing it “no one could ever replace you I mean you’re you but I need you to know that I want to try, I want to try and be happy, with him, and that I’m not betraying you and I…” she reaches the point where she can’t continue as the tears start rolling down and she lifts her hands to cover her face.

 “No no no Caroline please please look at me” he pleads with her before reaching for her cheeks and trying to pry her hands from her face until she feels him again. She wipes the tears from her face at the feeling again and ashe wipes the tears away as she folds her hands and places them in her lap. She lets the feeling of his hands on her face wash over her just like she did in the carnival bathroom and the dozens of times after.

 Stefan watches her intently realizing that she’s remembering the way he used to caress her cheeks, he smiles again ecstatic at the connection between them. “You remember your vows Caroline, how you said you remembered when I told you that when you were ready for me I would be ready for you?” he nods knowing she can’t hear him but still willing for her to get his message. “I need you to remember that moment and everything I told you that night because that’s what I’m promising you again, right here with you.”

 Stefan pauses one last time before moving his hands to her lap and clasping his with hers “I understand that you’re going to live your life without me I understand that I have to wait for you. And I will. I’ll wait hundreds, thousands of years for you. And when you’re ready and you’ve lived the longest most fulfilled life that you deserve I’ll be here ready for you.” He rubs her hands one last time before rising up moving her hair from her cheek and saying “just be happy Caroline” as he kisses her on the cheek waiting for the hopeful acknowledgement that she still feels him and maybe just maybe knew as he makes his way towards the exit.

 Caroline feels something different this time on her right cheek, not his hands like she’s sure she’s been feeling all day, this was softer, more intimate like his lips. She reaches for her cheek and rubs the spot smiling when she thinks back to that first memorable cheek kiss, how could she forget she even mentioned it in her vows.

 She caresses her cheek again and she wants him to know that she understands “I remember and I promise I’ll be ready for you too.”

 Stefan stops before leaving the crypt looking back at Caroline realizing she knew what he said, of course she knew even separated by death silent communication was always their thing.