#i should just go but i also don't want to and i kinda feel like dying and I realized a while ago

[softspiderling]

illicit affairs - part six | r.c

summary:

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you.”

The tone in Rafe’s voice made you pause and you felt your stomach drop. This was it. Rafe found out about your feelings for him and he was about to tell you how he didn’t feel the same.

“Rafe-”

“Can you let me say what I want to say first?”

OR; Your parents are gone for the weekend and you had the house to yourself. Mostly.

pairing: rafe cameron x reader

warnings: none, I think

word count: 3k

author's note: wait.... this is kinda crazy, but don't hate me for this please. Also i'm genuinely so tired rn, falling asleep as i type this... happy reading!!! <3

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pt. six: "so you leave no trace behind"

You were sitting at the bottom of the stairs at your house, watching your parents pack the last of their things into their bags. They were headed to Charleston over the weekend, running the last errands before the Spring Fling the following week.

“Do you have your wallet and phone?” your mother asked your father as she closed the flap of her purse, checking her reflection in the mirror.

“Yes dear.”

Your father tossed his laptop into his bag, zipping it up before straightening his back, glancing over to you.

“Are you sure you don’t want Kelly to come over the weekend? It’s still not too late to call her in.”

“I’m good, dad,” you assured him. “Kelly should take the weekend off, it’s such a waste to have her for the whole weekend just incase I want a home cooked meal. I’ll probably just go out to eat.”

“Okay then,” your father said with a nod. “We’ll probably be back Sunday night, behave yourself.”

“Bye honey!” your mother called over her shoulder, exiting the house. Your father was hot on her heels, but just before he closed the door, he paused, turning back to you.

“And don’t you dare throw a party while we’re gone,” your father said, wagging a finger for good measure because apparently you were a child in the 80s being scolded by your parents. You resisted an eye roll, because they still had enough time to make you to come along on the trip, so you only nodded, like a good daughter.

“I won’t dad, don’t worry,” you sighed, leaning your chin on your hand. “I’m just going to hang out with my friends.”

Your father gave a curt nod, bidding you goodbye before he left, shutting the front door behind him. Shortly after you could hear the engine from their car start, before the sound of the engine slowly quietened down as it left the estate.

“Finally,” you sighed to yourself, padding back upstairs feeling like your stress had just left with your parents. It was a sunny day out and you wanted to use that time to get some tanning done. As you fished a bikini out of your drawer, you had half a mind to text your friends to come over, hang out by the pool. But that meant facing Rafe.

Ever since the nightly swim during the boneyard party, the ache in your chest that you felt whenever Rafe was around had started to feel more present, as opposed to dull. But you had promised yourself (and Rafe) that this wouldn’t get between your friendship. Tugging the bikini top over your chest, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, unhappy with yourself.

“Fuck it,” you muttered to yourself. Grabbing your sunglasses, some sunblock and your phone, you headed back downstairs, sending a text into your groupchat.

precious [04/05/24: 2:37 pm]: i’m out by the pool if anyone’s down to join

precious [04/05/24: 2:37 pm]: bring food tho

Sliding the door closed behind you as you stepped out to the patio, you headed for your designated sun chair, dropping your stuff on the small side table. You planted your ass on the chair, slathered the sun block on your body, because you very much did not want to look like the hamburgers Topper tried to grill and as you spread the sun block on your arms, your phone buzzed.

top [04/05/24: 2:40 pm]: stuck at the court house with my mom rn, i’ll text when i’m otw

kelce [04/05/24: 2:41 pm]: i’ll be over later

No reply from Rafe, though.

With an eyeroll, you turned your phone, screen side down and made yourself comfortable on the chair, feeling your skin warm up from the sunrays. You heard your phone buzz again, but you were too lazy to reach for it, shutting your eyes, a comfortable silence settling over your patio. Before you knew it, you dozed off, limbs growing tired in the sun.

“Hey precious…. You really invite people over to hang out just to be asleep when I get here?”

….

“Precious.”

You let out a small noise, squeezing your eye shut, a frown on your forehead. The voice quietened, and you nearly slipped back into your slumber, when you felt fingertips dancing on your exposed stomach. The touch was featherlight, but it broke through your unconsciousness, your eyes fluttering open.

Rafe was perched on the edge of the sun chair, his palm resting on your hip. His mouth was curled in a smirk and you were already annoyed with him.

“I was having such a good nap,” you huffed, rolling your shoulders a little, before you arched your back, waking yourself up a little.

“You’re not being a very good host,” Rafe replied, all the while his eyes not leaving your chest, which admittedly, was your goal.

“You haven’t been a guest at my house since you were 14.”

Leaning on your elbows, you sat up to look at him, unimpressed.

“Where are the others?”

“Told them not to come,” Rafe said, his thumb tracing circles into your skin, but you only narrowed your eyes at him.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you.”

The tone in Rafe’s voice made you pause and you felt your stomach drop. This was it. Rafe found out about your feelings for him and he was about to tell you how he didn’t feel the same.

“Rafe-”

“Can you let me say what I want to say first?”

You exhaled deeply, sighing, and buried yourself deeper in the sun chair. Rafe watched you intently for a second, removing his hand off your waist to run it through his hair.

“When I suggested we do this casual sex thing, I was mostly doing it out of comfort. I hated hooking up with those random girls who were always so insanely clingy after, and you were right there: my best friend, who’s also kinda crazy hot and understands me without having to say a single word.”

Rolling your eyes at him, you turned away to hide the flush on your cheeks, but Rafe stopped you, turning your chin to face him again.

“Will you look at me while I’m talking to you?”

You lifted your eyes to meet his, and nearly died at his undivided attention on you. After making sure, that you weren’t going to turn away again, Rafe dropped his hand, carefully reaching for yours.

“The past few days I have been struggling, feeling restless, and I couldn’t tell why, until I realized….” Rafe paused, taking a deep breath. “I love you, precious.”

Your eyes widened at the confession, your mouth agape. “I…. What?”

“I know this sounds insane and I really really hope you feel the same way, because otherwise this is gonna get real awkward,” Rafe chuckled dryly, and you shook your head quickly.

“Rafe,” you started. “You know I’m in love with you, right?”

“You are?”

“Yes!”

Rafe beamed at you, pulling you in closely, and the weight on your shoulders disappeared when your lips touched his. Even though you have kissed so many times, this kiss felt… Different. He pulled away, hand gently caressing your cheek and you sighed softly, thinking of how to break this to Kelce and Topper.

“What are you thinking about?” Rafe asked, raising a brow at you. “Precious?”

Your eyes narrowed at the sudden increase of volume,, his voice his voice seeming so much louder than before. You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“Precious, hello?”

With a gasp, you startled awake, your heart racing when you saw Rafe standing over your sun chair, his brows furrowed over his sun glasses.

“What?” you breathed out, swallowing thickly, trying to calm yourself down.

“Shit, are you okay?”

Rafe pushed his sun glasses up, his forehead creased in concern and you nodded, taking a deep breath.

It was just a dream.

“Yeah, sorry, you just startled me,” you assured him, grasping at your chest. You could barely look at Rafe, the dream was still replaying in your head, it seemed so real. Rubbing your face with your hand, you swung your legs off the sun chair, peering up at Rafe, hand coming up to shield your eyes from the sun.

“When did you get here?”

“Not that long ago,” Rafe replied, eyeing you suspiciously. “You sure you alright?”

You rolled your eyes at him, shoving his bicep. “Yes, dad.”

Rafe smirked, and you knew exactly what he was going to say next.

“I think you meant-”

“I know what I meant, you perv.”

Your hand reached out to whack him, but his reflexes were faster, his fingers slipping around your wrist to stop you. With a quick tug, he pulled you towards him, sending you crashing against his chest. You glared up at him, but your cheeks were flushed. If he asked, you’d blame it on the sun.

“Why aren’t we hanging out at your pool more often?”

Rafe played with the small strings of your bikini bottoms on your waist, a smirk ever present on his lips.

“Because you always get bored hanging around doing nothing,” you reminded him. He clicked his tongue, his eyes zeroing in on the valley between your breasts.

“I wouldn’t be bored if you wore this bikini every time, fuck.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “God, have you always been this horny or is it just since we started fucking?”

Before Rafe could answer, a crash sounded from inside the house followed by some cursing. Your head turned towards the sound before you looked back to him.

“Top and Kelce are here already?”

“Yeah, we came together,” Rafe said, as if it was obvious, but you only let out a sigh, pushing away from him to head into the house. As you got into the kitchen, you saw Topper and Kelce tinkering around in the kitchen.

“Hey boys.”

“Precious, hey,” Kelce greeted you, shoving a bag of ice on the counter to give you a half hug.

“What are we making?”

“I was thinking frozen daiquiris,” Topper said, heaving the mixer on the counter with a grin, before smacking a kiss on your cheek. “Hey. We were starting to think Rafe got lost out there.”

“Oh no. He was too distracted by my boobs.”

Topper paused to glance over to you, his eyes quickly flying over your chest, before giving a brief nod.

“Understandable.”

“Yeah, I don’t even like boobs and yours look good in that bikini,” Kelce chimed in. Rafe only gave you a look that said I told you so as he rounded the kitchen island.

“And you’re calling me a perv,” Rafe miffed, emptying the bag of mangoes. Together, the four of you managed to make a big batch of frozen mango daiquiris, tossed together the salad the boys got from Whole Foods and prepped the steak for grilling in-between bickering.

Sipping on your drink, you carried out the salads out to the patio, while Topper got the grill going, with Rafe breathing down his neck, because he paid good money for the steaks and he wasn’t about to let Topper grill it to death. Kelce was setting the table when you put the salad bowl down, a beer bottle in his hand as he laid out the cutlery. You eyed him carefully, thinking back to his text.

“Hey, what were you doing before you came over?”

Kelce’s hand stilled over the fork, and he decidedly didn’t lift his head, staring at the napkins. “I was at the golf course.”

He was being cagey, and his answer didn’t really satisfy you, especially because you knew how he Kelce hated golf. Whenever Top and Rafe went golfing, you and Kelce either went for ice cream or to the beach or hung out in a golf caddy, making fun of Top and Rafe. Kelce would never willingly go on on the green.

“…. What were you doing at the golf course?”

Kelce hesitated before he answered, taking a deliberately took another long sip of his beer, and you narrowed your eyes at him before he finally gave in.

“Malcolm asked me if I wanted to play a few rounds of golf with him.”

Your mouth dropped open, half in shock, half in excitement. “Wait, really?”

Kelce nodded, his mouth curling up in a small grin.

“Yeah, Just the two of us.”

“Kels, that’s great,” you told him, pausing as you thought his words over. “Wait. Was this just you hanging out, or was it a date?”

“… He didn’t say date.”

You sighed and Kelce shook his head, frowning.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know this shit isn’t easy, for neither of us.”

“I know Kels,” you said, voice soft. “But I just don’t want you to get hurt again if Malcolm is scared of things getting real and throws himself at another girl.”

Kelce shrugged with his shoulders, like he didn’t really care, but you rounded the table to lean your head on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes and you were content to just stand there with him, watching as Rafe and Topper fought over the grill.

“What about you?” Kelce suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t heard anything about boys from you recently.”

Your eyes lingered on Rafe as he snatched the tongs out of Topper’s hand, and you bit back a smile. “Oh. No one’s caught my eye recently,” you lied and Kelce, sighed.

“You’re lucky, crushing on someone is so stressful. It is not what it used to be.”

If only he knew.

“Alright, steaks will be done in a few minutes!” Rafe called over from the grill and you nudged Kelce.

“Come on, let’s get the rest of the table settled.”

The four of you spent a rather chill day out at your pool. After a great steak dinner, with the steaks grilled to perfection (”I told you that it was the perfect time to take them off the grill Top, sometimes you just gotta listen to your gut.”) you got buzzed off of the frozen daiquiris and even went into the pool a few times. Before you knew it, the night broke in and it got too chilly, so you started clearing everything away, carrying the dirty dishes into the kitchen.

“Man, staying out in the sun all day really knocked me the fuck out,” Kelce said, yawning into his shoulder as he put the rest of the salad into the fridge.

“Yeah, we’re getting old,” Rafe agreed with him, and Topper side eyed him,

“Who’s we? You’re two years older than us.”

Rafe smacked Topper’s head upside down and you snickered to yourself as you dried off the mixer. Rafe moved to open the dishwasher, but you waved him off.

“Leave it, I can do it in the morning.”

Rafe raised an eyebrow at you. “You sure, precious?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“A’ight.”

Rafe yawned into his fist and the boys started to collect their things. You were taken aback, having expected Rafe to find an excuse to stay back, maybe even stay the night. You did have the whole house to yourself, and it seemed like he didn’t even care.

Tossing the dish towel on the counter, you walked the boys to the door, leaning against the door frame as you hugged them good bye.

“Alright, guys. See you tomorrow. Thanks for dinner.”

The boys waved, one by one getting into the car, and you crossed your arms as you stared at Rafe through the tinted window of Topper’s car as you stood on your front porch. As Topper’s car pulled off your grounds, you headed back inside with a sigh, shutting the door behind you.

You were tempted to go to sleep right away, but the amount of dishes in the kitchen was taunting you. In all honesty, you’d have appreciated a little help from the boys, you only turned down their offers because you thought that was what Rafe wanted you to say. On one hand, you really didn’t feel like cleaning up, on the other hand, you didn’t want Kelly to feel obligated to clean your shit up when she came back on Monday. So cleaning up it was. You put the dried off mixer away, and started rinsing the plates and cutlery. You cleared the last of the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, yawning into your elbow. Kelce was right, the sun shining down on you really had made you super tired. You yearned for your bed and for some rest, and sleep was near as you put in the last plate into the dishwasher. Just as you were about to shut the dishwasher and start the program, the hairs on the nape of your neck rose when you heard the sliding door to the patio open in the otherwise quiet house.

Fuck.

Didn’t you lock the door?

Your heart was in your throat, and you grabbed the nearest weapon you could find - a rolling pin - as you snuck into the hallway. There was no way that someone broke into your house, right? It was just your imagination?

You half expected to see nothing as you rounded the corner, the noise just being a figment of your tired self, but you froze when you heard steps come towards you so when you stepped out from behind the wall, you swung the rolling pin as quick as possible, hoping to knock the intruder out before he could do any harm.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

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author's note: wait omg my first actual cliffhanger in this series

[gold-rhine]

anyway, if you look at free to play guides and articles, recommending 4 stars only teams, and these team don't work for you, it's not just "skill issue". tho ofc average player will not have as much practice as ppl who play this game for a living. artifacts play a huge role, if you don't have good artifacts, even broken 5 stars won't help in the abyss, at least.

but also, these guides almost always use c6 r5 characters without mentioning, and for many 4 star constellations matter SO MUCH. some characters straight up unplayable without cons.

so i wanted to go thru the list of most popular meta 4 stars and list the importance of their cons and weapons just so you can have reference if it makes sense for you to use them:

Xiangling - literally unplayable in serious abyss teams before C4. C4 gives plus 40% burst duration, at which point she's broken. She wants r5 catch or basically any 5 star spear, as long as you have like 200% er. 4 piece emblem set, no options, crit hat, pyro cup, er\em\atk sands, should have at least 100 EM overall.

Bennet - his importance con is C1, bc otherwise he either heals or gives atk buff, but most teams that want him will be ok with C0 Benny. Unless it's a nche team that relies on Benny's pyro infusion, then only C6. wants a sword with highest base attack you have.

Xingqiu - C0 feels so bad to play, bc it's so hard to get enough energy off-field. Teams that want him like pyro carries with vape or hyperbloom will still be playable, but just feel kinda bad. Starts feeling ok at C2, at C6 becomes comparable to C0 Yelan. Wants sacrificial sword R5 or at least R3, if your sac sword is lower than r3, it's better to use favonius sword. 4 piece emblem set, no options.

Fischl - pretty good at C0, but truly broken at C6. Wants stringless bow or 5 star bows. 4 piece golden troupe best options, but can work with thundering fury or combos of 2 pieces

Yao Yao - actual free to play hero, already great at C0, her cons basically don't matter. Event hp healer staff or just fav lance is good.

Sucrose - becomes playable at C1. When guides say she's as good as kazuha, they mean C6, and it's a lie anyway, bc what they mean is that on paper damage calculations are similar. But in actual play her grouping is nowhere near kazuha and her burst actually ungroups enemies when unlucky. Wants sacrificial fragments and 4 piece vv with EM stats, no options.

Kuki - another f2p hero and hyperbloom goddess, good at C0, great at C2, immortal at C6. get as much EM as you can on her, should be near 1000, weapon usually iron sting.

Chevreuse - already good at C0 if you have strong pyro or electro carries. at C6 pretty broken. ONLY good in teams with only pyro and electro, nothing else, both need to be there. wants HP stats.

Beidou - good against 2+ enemies, but CANNOT trigger hyperbloom. Can be okay at C0, good at C4, pretty good at C6.

Thoma - for burgeon can use C0.

Layla - decent shield only after C2.

Noelle - usually shown in Furina teams as a driver, becomes decent at C6.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey, this is the same 14 year old from earlier. first, i want to thank you so much for such a well rounded, thoughtful response. i went through all the resources and they were all very helpful. after thinking about it, i think i probably won't do this after all. technically i think i am ready, i understand the possible consequences, i know how to be safe, etc etc, but i'm just kind of anxious. and it might be a better idea to wait to do things like this with someone i actually have romantic feelings towards, because i'll probably enjoy it more then, right? i'm not exactly sure why i agreed to do it in the first place, i guess curiosity or for the sake of formative teenage experiences or literally just "why not" lmao. i do have one more question if that's alright, do you know of a good way to tell her that i don't really want to do this anymore? we haven't set up an actual date and time yet but she's serious about it and i was serious about it but obviously my opinion has changed. i feel kind of guilty about backing out especially because she kinda wanted this as a rebound after breaking up with her girlfriend of like, six years (which means it might be good if we don't do this anyway, this might be an impulsive decision on her part that she ends up regretting).

also one more question (sorry) if you have the time and energy for it. i know there's a lot of people asking you questions haha. how would you get an STI or STD through oral sex? i understand the basics, its spread through genital fluids and gets into your body that way, but how would the symptoms start showing in your own genitals? or would they not and just show up in your mouth or throat? the planned parenthood link kind of talked about that, but it said that it was rare. anyway thank you so much! you've been genuinely so helpful and kind and i appreciate it so much!

hello! welcome back! it's great to hear from you again, and I'm glad that response was helpful. it's awesome that you were able to weigh all the available information to make that decision. you'll have plenty of other opportunities for formative teenage experiences, very few of which have to involve sex at all - I'd be a bad sex witch if I didn't tell you that I didn't have sex with another person for the first time until I was almost 21!

cancelling this plan with your friend might feel awkward, but it doesn't need to be worse than dipping out of any other activity. "hey, I think I changed my mind about wanting to see this movie; I don't really think I'm going to vibe with it. thank you for inviting me, though!" 'I'm actually not feeling up to going to the game, but I hope you can find someone else to go with." "sorry to change our plans, but I think having sex actually isn't something I want to do right now. thanks for being understanding."

this may hurt your friend's feelings; it can often feel extremely personal and hurtful when someone doesn't reciprocate an interest in sex, and feel much worse than someone saying no to other kinds of plans. this may be especially true if you're right about your friend trying to rebound from a previous relationship - six years is a long relationship for anyone, especially someone for whom six years is almost half of their life, and there's a good chance she's still feeling sore from the loss of that relationship and is seeking comfort and validation from another source (you). good on you for being insightful enough to notice this and recognize this! that's an important trait to have, both as a friend and in your future romantic and sexual relationships.

if your friend doesn't take it well when you change your mind, you may need to get a little space from her while her feelings cool off. remember, while you should be kind when you say no - obviously nothing like "I wouldn't want to have sex with you, you're gross and just rebounding" - you're not doing anything wrong at all by changing your mind, and if your friend starts trying to pester you into changing your mind or acting more harshly to you, we've definitely crossed into the territory where she's the asshole. (not that you're the asshole for saying no; nobody is the asshole in that scenario.) if she takes it poorly, it's okay to ask her for some distance and spend less time around her until the hurt feelings are mended.

remember: you don't need to feel guilty for changing your mind. you are always allowed to do that, even if you're in the middle of having sex. you don't owe anyone else access to your body, ever, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise can go straight into the trash.

and please don't ever feel the need to apologize for asking about STIs, they're one of my favorite things to talk about!

for many STIs that can be transmitted to the mouth, the symptoms will stay in the mouth and/or throat. sometimes that will look like sores or blisters in or around the mouth, which are sometimes painful and ooze discharge and sometimes don't feel like anything at all. it can also feel like an ordinary cold, with a sore throat and some difficulty swallowing. in most cases, the symptoms won't spread to your genitals unless you also contracted the STI there as well - for instance, if you touched your mouth and tongue to an infected partner's genitals and then also touched your genitals to theirs as well. but while the symptoms looks different, the medicines that treat STIs affecting the genitals are just as effective at clearing up infections in the mouth and throat.

I'm super happy to help, and please know you can send in more asks any time :)

[mohgreal]

I looked into a few spoilers and watched a fight with Radahn/Miquella and I gotta say that Mohg didn't deserved to be used as a husk for any of this

Like all of this doesn't make sense to me lore wise, story wise and the final fight itself looks like a reused asset...

I may be wrong of course, because there is not enough information about Miquella's plan fully, but for now I'm just extremely confused

Gonna go cope now by drawing Mohg's and Malenia's fanarts where everything is well and fine😔

Anyway sorry about the rambling, just wanted to talk about the dlc thing with someone and since we are mutuals I thought you wouldn't mind

U can ignore and delete this ask if you want, sorry for bothering, hope you have a good day!!

First of all, never apologise for yapping to me thats the entire point of my account sdiwbfjx

And yeah, the so called so called "plot twist" being a popular theory sucks. Like what did Mohg do ?? Have a cool outfit?? Honestly I would rather suffer through the "mohglester" and slander then this. It does make him more sympathetic, but also kinda boring.

The fight really does feel like it was made a day before, someone on reddit thats a game dev made a whole long ass reply of how theyre certain thats what happened.

Anyway I dont really have the *full* scoop of lore info since I havent played the DLC yet because my laptop broke, I do still think it's a shitty way to end both Miquella's arc, Mohg's arc, Radahn's arc that was supposed to be finished, and as well as a shitty way to end the dlc. I know fromsoftware simps will just tell me to cope but like, its so bad. Im not sorry because it makes zero sense, looks bad, and the fight feels reused and boring.

I do think we should all collectively cope, (mostly me and the pre dlc miquella enjoyers) which i plan to do by writing whatever. I want to play something else to get my mind off all the sote issues but im too hyperfixated and once again I don't have the laptop to play anything on whoops

conclusion always ramble to mohgreal

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

My Work on Archive Of Our Own

Please ignore if me gushing about the reception of my fics is irritating. I understand there are some people who genuinely hate when fanfic writers do this, so I'm putting it under the cut so you don't have to see it!

(And fair warning; if this irritates you and you still decide to click 'keep reading' and you then decide that I am obviously up myself so I deserve a hate anon or several, I need to preemptively remind you that I gave you the choice not to engage. You will be blocked and I shall call you a silly little guy if you do this.)

I also would like to make this an invitation to anyone who wants to share their proudest stats, or a nice comment they got, or even just something they are really really happy about in having written their fic. (No need to click read more, just go for it and use this as your excuse to show some pride.) On any platform!

Gonna tag the following: @lya-dustin @ewanmitchellcrumbs @the-common-cowgirl @the-wonderland-madnesss @marthawrites

@vampire-exgirlfriend @exitpursuedbyavulcan @emilykaldwen @ripdragonbeans @aegonx

Feel free to turn this into a pass-on game, if you like! We should celebrate the things that make us happy, too. ❤️

I've not ever really posted about this because, IDK, I worry about being considered a conceited asshole. I figure, though, that this is my blog and my safe space and if I want to celebrate something I'm proud of then I should be able to do so. Nor am I implying that I believe this is any sort of metric of popularity or superiority, OR that I write for the sole purpose of validation through clicks and numbers. I have very little interest in engaging with any of that rhetoric. NO. It's just a convenient bonus, kinda like how I love my job and the fact I get paid is awesome but not my primary reason for doing it.

Okay, I think I've got the disclaimers out the way? (Can never be too sure with fandom.)

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads my stuff. Not only on here, but on Archive Of Our Own, which is more or less a place I consider the Ultimate Fanfiction Site (TM). It used to be fanfiction.net for me, but then their ads got annoying and their content ban gross, so AO3 it is! I've read fanfiction on AO3 since I was like 13, and I still find it crazy beyond belief that my work is not only on there, but that it gets any sort of traction at all.

As a little acknowledgement of something I'm proud of, I wanted to document my stats on my big series, terms of endearment, as of June 2024. It is by and large the biggest project I have ever done, and I've poured countless hours of researching, writing and editing into it.

darilaros (princess)

Words: 48,843 Comments: 254 Kudos: 801 Bookmarks: 111 Hits: 21,971

gevivys (beauty)

Words: 52,147  Comments: 578  Kudos: 2,965  Bookmarks: 490  Hits: 106,019

dōnus riñus (sweet girl)

Words: 58,775 Comments: 660 Kudos: 3,414 Bookmarks: 635 Hits: 141,339

ilībītsos (little slut)

Words: 62,725 Comments: 556 Kudos: 1,880 Bookmarks: 289 Hits: 99,939

ñuhus prūmȳs (my heart)

Words: 104,063 Comments: 1,188 Kudos: 2,274 Bookmarks: 368 Hits: 110,356

jorrāeliarzus (beloved) (ongoing)

Words: 38,451 Comments: 234 Kudos: 454 Bookmarks: 86 Hits: 16,208

That makes for a total of 365,004 words; 3,470 comments; 11,788 kudos; 1979 bookmarks; and 495,832 hits. Jesus Christ.

To everyone who kudos'ed, commented, bookmarked, subscribed or even just clicked on the link to the fic, thank you very much. This series has grown and grown, not just in my head but also in audience. It's given me so much encouragement and support in my writing, and a feeling like maybe I am decent at this? I don't know. I used to write when I was a kid, but I stopped during high school. Rediscovering the joy of it hasn't just been rewarding in terms of having fun with it, but also in discovering that there are people who genuinely want to read what I'm putting out. I've spent a lot of my life feeling powerless and silenced, so this really means so much to me.

I am going to keep on writing for as long as I possibly can, because I genuinely haven't found a hobby as long-lived and fulfilling as this.

Thank you. I'm so very lucky. I'm so grateful. I love you all!

[bluegalaxygirl]

Amnesia (KidKiller X Reader) P11

Plot: After an explosion reader wakes up in a hospital with no memory of the past few years, her parents want to take her home so she can recover and get back to a normal life while the Kid pirates want her back on the ship where she belongs.

Warning: Bad language, Medical stuff, family issues and Violence.

Reader is Female, Poly Relationship, established relationship, Kid X Reader X Killer, Reader is a member of the Kid pirates and is in charge of the money, Budgeting and negotiating the best price.

< Previous part ….. Next part >

You've been in and out for a while remembering several things even though your head hurts something trying to keep them locked away but as time goes on its almost as if what ever had a hold on you is losing its power letting your memories come back. It hurts less and less the more you remember and you should be happy about that but all you can feel is sadness, you were so happy in those memory's nothing like what your parents said happened, your starting to believe the pirates more but your parents and even the doctors are telling you that they kidnapped you. They could have held you for ransom later on, maybe you let slip who your family was after trusting them? Opening your eyes you look around the slightly dim room, its clear you've been out for a while but at least someone stayed by your side, your mother sits on the chair next to your bed her full attention on the book in her hands not noticing your eyes on her. Turning your head to the other side you see Kid leaning against the window looking out at the ocean, the setting sun perfectly highlighting his face almost taking your breath away. A twinge of pain in your shoulder forced you mind to snap back into reality, letting a groan escape your lips you try to push yourself to sit up. "Y/n, sweetie, are you ok?" Your mother asks putting down her book and reaching over to place a hand on your thigh as you sit up and move back a bit to let your back rest against the bed frame, nodding you taking her hand off your sore leg. "What happened?" You ask looking over to your mother but its Kid who answers you, still leaning against the window but his eyes now on you "You passed out, you good?" The red head asks looking you over with a straight face, he looks tired but there's also something else going on. "I'll get the doctor" Your mother quickly stands when you don't answer fast enough but you stop her from leaving by grabbing her hand "Wait, don't bother the doctor, i'm fine"

You wanted to say that your starting to not trust that doctor but you know she wouldn't believe you or tell you your being silly, with a sigh your mother turns to you and takes your hand off hers. "I'll get the nurse then, You missed your last round of meds so someone needs to check on you" Your mother gives you a small smile before leaving, you know its fake by the way her eyes glared at you, she just wanted you to do as your told. After watching her leave you wait until she's out of ear shot before turning to Kid who's still looking at you but has made no move to come near you, for some reason it makes your heart sink but you push that aside knowing there isn't much time to talk in privet. "I remember House, Heat and Wire-" You go to say more but the red head rushes to your side and grabs your chin with his fingers making you look right at him "What do you remember?" Your taken aback by his actions and wide eyes but you somehow know he's not going to hurt you and if he did it would be on accident. "I helped House with training and Heat was there, then there was some kind of ship wrack that i went into… Kinda stupid of me to do that but Heat was there and then when we go back to the ship Wire was there, he taught me how to fish." You try and recall as much as possible while the smile on Kid's face grows, his hand moves from your chin to your cheek cupping it as he lightly places his forehead against yours, as much as your body seems to want to relax into it instead you tense up unsure of what he's doing and why "That was still the first week we met. You were reckless back then, always going off and doing something stupid…. Now i know why, finally free." His voice was mainly a whisper as if he was thinking all of this and not meant to say it but it brought a tear to your eye.

Your shoulders relax almost in disbelief, Free, finally free, Is that what it really felt like to be free? "I leave for a few minutes and you already have your hands on her, what did i say?" Your mother yells walking into the room with the nurse following close behind, Kid groans and pulls away from you his hand sliding off your cheek as he stands up, a part of you wanted to grab onto him and pull him back but you manage to stop yourself from doing so. "I'm glad your awake, here are your meds" The nurse walks over to the bed and hands you a small paper cup of pills and a glass of water trying to ignore the glare your mother is giving the red head, looking into the cup you notice more of those blue pills making you nervous, did you have another seizure? no one mentioned it so maybe it wasn't but if so why more blue pills? "Something wrong?" The nurse asks with a concerned look, snapping out of your thoughts you shake your head deciding you can talk about this with House later since your too tired to deal with it now. After downing the pills you hand the glass of water and paper cup back to the nurse who nods and quickly takes her leave, a long awkward silence fills the air slowly making you feel very uneasy, Kid goes back to leaning against the wall looking out the window while your mother sits back on her chair glaring at the pirate. "So, I'm guessing i missed something while i was out" You state looking between the two sensing clear tension but also a sense of compromise between the two.

Kid sighs and nods as your mother huffs crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her chair "We finally came to an agreement, but i see someone hasn't been keeping up their end" Your mother glares at Kid who keeps his eyes focused on outside "Our agreement was that we wouldn't fight if you kept your comments to yourself" Kid spits out trying to control his anger as to not start a fight that might hurt you again, they didn't know what triggers your memories, but they hope to make it less painful for you by not adding loud arguing into the mix. Your Mother rolls her eyes when the red head doesn't continue, "And you and your pals won't touch her" Kid huffs letting a small smile show "Actually as Killer pointed out you specifically said 'You and your pals aren't aloud to touch my daughter while we're around', you weren't in the room, there for if she'll let me, I'll touch her" Your mothers face drops as you slap your hand over your mouth trying to control your laughter over Kid's impression of your mother. It was so perfect, from the wording to the hand gesture he made, your mother was about to get up and yell at the red head but you caught on before she could even make a move hoping ti distract her with something else "I know Fathers probably off working but where is Killer?" You ask the two managing to break your mother's angry gaze from Kid "Yes, he has some business to attend too but i'm here, so don't worry" You mother smiles talking about your farther while completely ignoring your question.

Luckily Kid was happy to fill in the rest, gesturing towards the window the red head smiles almost fondly "Kill, went back to the ship to check on the crew and make dinner for them all. He'll be back later tonight though, with some off your stuff" Your eyes light up at the thought of seeing what was yours on the ship, has your style changed? what books do you read? Do you have new hobbies? Do they have your glasses? A gasp leaves your lips before turning to Kid who lets out a laugh already knowing what your thinking "Yes Y/n, He'll bring you your glasses" His smirk alone made you smile more but you couldn't wait to wear glasses again since your parents said they couldn't find them, you know thats a lie, their either in the trash or left at home, your mother sighs leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest "I brought you contact's, just use those" Your smile didn't drop despite her words just happy that you can read while feeling comfortable, there are so many books in the room and now you'll be able to read them "They hurt her eyes" Kids quick to comment making your mother tense up, that glare back on her face but this time its much worse, turning to your mother you place your hand on her knee getting her to stop glaring at Kid and turn to you. "Mother, he's right, plus there's no harm in wearing glasses, i think they make me look smarter" You laugh trying to break up the moment in hopes it'll calm everyone down but your smile drops when your mother leans closer to you her anger now directed at you making you lean away from her a little.

That smile you hate forms on her face, it looks so loving and caring yet her eyes burns into yours as her hands grip into fists, pulling your hand way from her your body tenses up making your movement a little jagged, you know she won't hurt you in front of someone but you know if you continue then later on, when no ones around it'll be a different story, she knows where to point her comments and what to comment on and if all else fails you know she'll turn to more drastic measures. "I'm telling you, sweetie, glasses aren't good for you, they'll mess up your perfect nose" Your heart sinks in your chest making you gulp in response, a part of you wants to tell her to shut up and that she can't control you anymore, that your nose will be fine but you push that feeling away instead looking down at your lap in defeat. Kid growls his hand clutching onto his coat in anger, he was trying to hold back but couldn't anymore not when you reacted like that, he could tell your parents are controlling but this was different. "Will you shut up, Y/N's been wearing glasses for years and her nose is fine" He argues taking his eyes off the window to glare at your mother who looks up at him in slight shock still not used to being talk to like that. You look up at Kid secretly pleading with your eyes for him to stop, as much as you enjoy him and Killer standing up for you now is not the time, you know once they leave she'll take out her anger on your by yelling and screaming, maybe even grabbing your injured legs just to put you in your place but Kid was too focused on your mother to notice. "Unlike you, Pirate.. i have my daughters best interest in mind, she has a beautiful face and i don't want it ruined, they'll dent her nose and bring her score down" She scowls with her head held high.

Shock hits you making you want to cry, tears peaking out the side of your eyes but you can't, you won't cry, not in front of people especially not your mother, you hoped she would have changed over the years you've been gone, but she hasn't, she still thinks of the contests and your looks, not who you are as a person, clenching your fists on your lap you look down at them trying to hold back the tears feeling your chest tighten from her words. Your still just a pretty face to your mother, it hurts more than you thought it would, you've spent years dealing with this so why does it still hurt so bad, your injured, in pain and lost your memories at, yet she still only cares about your looks. Kid has no idea what your mothers on about but seeing your look of sadness and knowing your holding back tears from her words make him see red, storming over to the bed the captain placing his hand on it lean over to glare at your mother. You look up due the sudden action only now noticing his metal arm is gone but it doesn't distract you from the fight your literally in the middle of. "Fuck you lady, If you haven't noticed Y/N looks fucking hot when she wears glasses" Your cheeks go bright red as your eyes widen in shock, you've never been called that as far as you can remember but it brings you so much joy, normally you hate people commenting on your looks and your body but you've never been called hot before, its always beautiful, pretty ect. Heat forms in your chest as a strange fluttering feeling flows through your stomach making you feel a little ill yet there's a need for more, What does this feeling mean?

Your head starts to feel fuzzy but you can't take your eyes off Kid despite the pain starting to from behind your eyes. "How dare you speck to me like th-" She's interrupted by the red head his hand gripping the sheets of the bed trying not to lash out at anything around him, only for your sake, he hopes you get your memories back soon, so he can bring down this place. "I'll talk to you however i want especially when you belittle her in front of me" The captain's voice is low but full of anger, he's trying not to raise his voice as not to hurt you but at the moment your in a trance, unable to take your eyes off him even though the pain is starting to spread from your eyes to your head. "Belittle? That's a big word for you pirate, and she's not your girl, she's my daughter and i know what's best" Your mother leans forward her anger getting the batter of her. "Yea? Well, My girl tough me that word because she has a brain, she can think for herself, she's not stupid like you make her out to be, She's a fucking smart ass " Your heart warms at his words, it's been a long time since someone has called you smart but calling you smart ass triggers something in your head, it hurts but the images are more clear than normal, it still feels like something is trying to stop the memory from coming back but it doesn't seem to have much of a hold. The two continue to argue back and forth but their voices start fading in and out, Kids eyes widen seeing your eyes going glossy again and places a hand on your cheek getting you to look up at him "Hay stay with me" He commends as your mother yanks his hand off your cheek "Get your hands off her" she yells sitting on the bed and taking your head in her hands, everything around you goes blurry as the memory finally pushes through.

----- Memory -----

You've dusted the cabinets, mopped the deck and was just finishing up cleaning the windows when you notice a room full of messy papers scattered all over a wooden desk and floor. Wiping the window on the door clean you can't help but let curiosity get the better of you so you open the door and step in able to see more mess than the window allowed, there are no files or books keeping everything togeather just pieces of paper of all different shapes, sizes and shades of white scattered all over the room. Looking them over you soon realize that their all to do with money, some are recites, some are details of treasure they've collected and the rest are what they have spent. It's no organisation to it, there are recites placed together but almost a year apart, and they weren't even from the same place or for the same object. With a sigh you knew this needs sorting but you can't just start messing with things without the captain's permission, then again he seemed like a prideful man and would probably yell at you for even stepping foot in this room. On the other hand his first mate and friend, Killer seems to be able to talk some sense into him and calm him down much better than anyone else on the ship so maybe you should talk to him first. After leaving the room you finish cleaning the windows before heading to the kitchen where you knew the masked man will be, it's a few hours before dinner but you know by now that the first mate likes to take his time when cooking and preparing meals for the crew.

Stepping into the kitchen you can't help but smile and smell the air, his cooking is amazing and something you will dearly miss when you have to leave "Smells good" You call out letting him know your there as you go to put the cleaning supply's away, he gives you a hum keeping focused on the large piece of meat he's expertly carving up. You walk up to the kitchen and lean on the counter close to the first mate but not close enough to be in his way, Killer always has his mask on no matter what he's doing, it doesn't bother you but some times you want to know what he's thinking or feeling when ever you were around, you can't tell if he's annoyed at your presence or just didn't care. "I've finished everything but i was wondering if i could help out with something else" You state not sure of how your going to go about asking, yes Killer seems more level-headed then Captain Kid but that doesn't mean he doesn't have out burst of anger too, you've seen it before and scarier then when Kid gets angry which is saying something. "I don't need your help, i can cook fine on my own" Killer finally speaks making you stand up straight at his commanding yet deadpan voice "oh no, i didn't mean with the cooking, when i was cleaning i came across a room full of scared recites and stuff… I was hoping i could sort it all out for you guys" you smile at him hoping you didn't offend him by asking, the masked man stops chopping and turns his head to look at you "And what would you want in return?" his voice sounds slightly angry but you try to ignore it.

Leaning your back against the counter you cross your arms over your chest "Honestly a good nights sleep. After seeing that mess i'm gonna have nightmares until its sorted… might also need therapy" you jokingly say but there was some seriousness to it, it's going to be something you can't stop thinking about and knowing the way you are you will lose sleep over it until its done. Killer suddenly turns his head away from you his shoulders starting to shake while has hand grips the counter top, you raise an eyebrow at him wondering if he's ok, but he suddenly starts laughing. Its quiet at first but it soon gets louder and you can't help but stare at him in aw, you've never heard anything like it but its so beautiful, it makes your head feel fuzzy and your chest feel light. The masked man soon manages to compose himself and look back over at you seeing your slightly wide eye'd yet star stuck expression, his hand grips the knife tightly causing it to ask and you can feel his eyes burning into your soul with an intense anger but you ignore it instead focusing on how your chest flutters and how your ears beg to hear more. "You have an amazing laugh" you whisper not sure if you should say it or not but there was serenity in your voice, a small smile soon grows on your face, Killer's shoulders relax as his grip on the knife loosening "I'd like to hear it more" you say a little louder without thinking, its like your mind forced it out of your mouth in hopes to hear it again.

Killer looks away from you and down at the cut up meat "I'll let you sort it but you'll do it in here and you let me check your work when ever i want, even if your in the middle of working something out" He states making you smile more and nod, "Awesome, I'll grab my stuff and the papers then bring in here, ok?" He gives you a nod letting you run out of the room to grab your stuff, after picking up a few things from your room you head over to grab all the paperwork, going through some draws in the desk you find way more but you manage to carry all of them back to the kitchen/dining room. Pushing the door open with your foot since your hands are full you have to feel around with your leg to find the dinning table since you can't see over the large stack of papers your currently balancing. Once you find the table you put them down along with bag of stuff that you start taking things out of. Killer turns to look at you putting his knife down and wiping his hands on a towel as you take your reading glasses out of your case and slip them on. "I'll be done before Dinner, i promise" You give the man a smile as he nods at you watching as you sit down and start to work, he watches for a while seeing you put papers in different piles while writing on a spare piece of paper, once in a while you would type on your calculator seeming to check if something was right or not. The masked man turns back to cooking feeling confident that you'll finish before dinner with how fast your going.

An hour and a half later your done, everything is in the right piles and in order of dates, some of the numbers where off on the old stuff but the newer stuff was correct, the only problem you did have was with someones short hand but you managed to decipher it in the end. Killer once in a while would look over your shoulder and pull a piece of paper away to look at it but you just let him do what he wanted even if you were working on it. You stretch your arms over your head and let out a relaxed sigh knowing you'll sleep well now all this is done "Despite the mess you guys have done a good job keeping track of things, although if you move some money around you'll be saving more in the end" You state once Killer has placed some stuff into the oven, he turns to you and walks over pulling out the chair across from you and sitting down "What do you mean?" He asks sounding kind of interested, it excites you since not many people want to hear how, they just demand you do it and save them the trouble, leaning forward you grab a fresh piece of paper and draw a pie chart "Well the best way to go about things is to follow the 50, 30, 20 rule where you spend 50% on essential needs like flue, repairs for the ship, food and medical supplies. 30% is spent on things you want like eating out or going to bars and then 20% is savings, put money to the side so over time it builds up, you can then use that for emergency's or something important. At the moment you guys are doing 50% on wants and 45% on needs which leaves 5% on savings, at this rate you'll run out of money for things you need." Killer nods along while looking at your work "So if we follow this rule we'll save more?" he questions while pulling the paper closer to him, so he can read over all your work.

You shrug a little, it's a good rule but at the end of the day these guys are pirates, they'll steal what they want when they want and most likely won't follow any budget but there's no harm in trying "Sort of, the crew is small so i recommend that for the moment you can do 40, 30, 30 as the crew grows you'll have to change it up to the original rule, it's a lot of numbers and math i know but with this you'll always have money left over if you need it… Oh! and i didn't add the treasure into all that since i honestly don't know how much a gold crown goes for" You laugh a little hoping you didn't over complicate things "Thank you, this will help a lot" Killer suddenly says while standing up and gripping the piece of paper you did all your work on "I'll let Kid know and see what he says, don't be scared if he comes barging in to ask a load of questions…. When the timer goes off turn the heat off" The masked man states before walking out of the kitchen, you nod staying in your seat even after he leaves, a smile grows on your face as your cheeks turns a little red. Its not often you get thanked for your work, even when you had to do your families taxes for a year after their accountant quit you never once got a thank you or a well done. It's the only time they wanted your smarts but when the new accounted came along it was back to the same old routine and you realized then, that there was no pleasing them unless it had to do with your looks.

A few minutes went by until there are loud voices coming from outside, they weren't shouting or angry just loudly discussing something until the kitchen door slams open. Kid and Killer both became quiet as they enter the room, the piece of paper the masked man took was clenched in the captains hand as he makes his way over to you. Your heart sank in your chest at his deadpan look unsure of what he was thinking, you've seen him lash out before and you don't want that to happen to you. Your eyes flicked to the door which Killer was leaning against his arms crossed over his chest "How the hell do you know all this?" Kids voice brings you back to him, looking up at the red haired man you gulp still not sure if he's angry or not "I-I urm… i went to a lot of business and math lectures and urm… Did people taxes and stuff" You stutter not wanting to give away too much of your past and who your family is, Kid chuckles a little before placing the piece of paper on the table making you raise an eyebrow "Looks like we have a smart ass on the ship… You've saved me all the hassle of doing it myself, if your not careful i might have to keep you around, your starting to impress me with your smarts, pip squeak" Kid grins down at you as Killer moves away from the door to check his food seeing that the situation as become more relaxed. You let out a breath you didn't realize was stick in your throat as the captain takes a seat across form you "So Smart ass, tell me how to make money" he grins leaning back in his chair while crossing his arms over his chest.

[wanderingblindly]

just read your vampire landoscar and died it was amazing!! but i am so curious - does charles ever realize he was such a shit friend and apologize? does he even know what he did wrong? does oscar hate him so much if he ever does come around? max and oscar interaction/tensions??? the whole time i was so sad for lando cause charles is a horrible friend i was really glad he called his ass out!!

(fic link)

oh my goodness I've genuinely been rambling into a million people's DMs about all the nuances of this fic so THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! One of your questions reminds me of a scene that got cut, so scroll to the bottom to check that out!

Obviously, you're more than entitled to imagine your own answer to these questions. If things are left unsaid,, it's not my place to tell you how to read into it. But in my brain:

Will Charles Ever Change?

Probably not.

Charles is a foil to Lando. He's entirely sure of what he wants, he knows how to get it, he's self-assured, and he's obsessed with power. Because he's compared to where Lando starts in the narrative (introspective, quiet, placating, etc.), it's pretty important that Charles doesn't have the self-awareness to recognize that he's a prick.

In my mind, the relationship completely died that night in the club, and Lando buried it in the café.

But could he grow later?

I think that Max and Charles's relationship is inherently doomed to be mutually destructive. I don't think that they're designed to bring out the best in each other (despite it being implied that they're soulmates -- I suppose soulmates don't always have to be for the better). Because they're so absorbed in each other, I don't think that Charles will ever gain the perspective to understand Lando completely. Meaning he probably won't come around to being a real friend.

What Does Oscar Think About Charles?

I've thought a lot about this, since it's implied that Oscar was definitely... watching... Lando lol. Oscar probably has an immense distrust of Charles, if not just for the fact that he radiates a level of danger that triggers most vampires’ basal instincts.

(if you didn't read Excess -- Charles is almost entirely covered in vampire bites, meaning he should trigger Oscar's fight or flight like no other.)

That said, I also think that Oscar has an understanding that Lando and Charles's relationship is more complex than he can pick apart from the outside. I get the feeling that he wants Lando to be with someone safer -- if not just because he loves him -- but that he'd respect any decision he makes on the matter.

Max and Oscar Vibes?

Max is the type of vampire that Oscar loathes. He's blood-drunk and confident in what he is; Max has embraced the life as a gift (barring sometimes missing human sensations), whereas Oscar views it as a curse. Their perspectives on their eternal life is so fundamentally incompatible that it's unlikely they'd ever get along.

Do I think they'd actually full on fight? No.

But I do think that Oscar would be so tense the entire time they interacted that he could crack his teeth.

Deleted (Incomplete) Scene:

Originally, after the confessional in Oscar's flat, I wanted to keep going. The next scene actually had to do with the state of Charles and Lando's relationship, where we learn that Lando hadn't heard from him -- and that he hadn't reached out, either. We get the impression that the relationship was completely dead, severed.

"I haven't talked to Charles since I told him to leave," Lando says mindlessly, sliding Oscar's cup in front of his usual seat. He grabs it and draws in a deep breath, the memories of caffeine doing little to alleviate the blue under his eyes. "D'you miss him?" Did he really know him well enough to? Lando shrugs. "Y'know how you kinda, like… miss something because it's over, not because you actually wanted it to keep going?" Oscar nods along, eyes fluttering closed – relaxed. "End of an era." "Era makes it sound like a good thing," Lando chuckles, tilting his head when Oscar raises a brow in silent question. "Nothing good about it then? At all?" In the daylight, they slowly peel apart each other's layers, step gently into the shadows they carry. Lando hasn't asked how much Oscar had gleaned about his and Charles's relationship, if he recognized him as a riptide feigning gentleness. The wounds felt too fresh, the mistakes too recent, and yet. "I'm…" He starts uncertainly. Oscar doesn't open his eyes, doesn't move – like waiting for Lando is easy. The years in Charles's orbit feel like a blur, like watching events that happened to someone else. They're a book with ink that fades with each page – starting bold in its desperation, ending weakly in its passive acceptance. "Not good enough to remember," Lando finally answers, and Oscar drops his brow. "I probably wouldn't have been better without him, I guess. Like, I would have ended up somewhere… different but similar, just with someone else. Might as well have been him, if it had to be someone." Need you more than anything else on earth. Because at least Charles sometimes put a word to that cold, lonely spot between Lando's ribs. Or maybe prodded at it like a contusion, dark and hideous and violent. But he saw it all the same. Shaking his head, clearing it away, Lando changes the subject. "What about you? Do you still talk to anyone from…" He trails off, lips frozen around the word: before. Opening his eyes and putting down his cup, Oscar stares down into it. Pensive. But he promised to try. Lando can see the weary determination in the pressed line of his pale lips – maybe the same wherewithal that keeps his fangs tucked safely out of sight. "I text my family, so they don't think anything's wrong." It leaves a lot unsaid. Lando let's the unspoken fill the time and space between them, resting his back against the counter. Until Oscar looks up at him, eyes finding his own like how Lando always imagined coming home should be – easy. "But everyone else, it's…" A sigh, agitated fingers combing through flat hair. "Complicated." He aims for reassuring. "I know," Oscar averts his gaze anyway. "I quit my job." It's that same tone, that same pinched anguish that evokes memories of tears he can no longer shed. "D'you miss it?" "It's all I ever wanted to be, I –" His throat cuts him off, painfully tight. Lando wonders, not for the first time, how beautiful his emotions would be with the flush of life. And he wonders, anew, if Oscar can feel the difference. Shaking, small: "They were so proud of me." Between beats of his bleeding heart, Lando wonders what that feels like. "You're still the same person though," Lando tries, stopping when Oscar buries his face in his hands, elbows propped up on the counter. "'m not." "You are –" Fiery enough to burn, even muffled through his hands: "Would you want a fucking monster to help you?" "Already did." Lando smiles like a gotcha, flashing his wrist for emphasis. Oscar must sense it, peeking between his fingers. "Almost like you're still you, huh?"

[cremateyourlife]

Endeavor sucks so here's a rant cause i've seen too many people say he isn't that bad lately

(CW / TW for abuse, ptsd mention) going in best order of episode events, but also including manga spoilers (sections are indented so you can skip the manga parts)-

this is pulling from source material but also very opinioned based. I get people saying he's an interesting character (kinda) but i hate seeing people excuse what he did because "aww he feels bad now." like him if you want but hating on other's for not liking him is just stupid.

it will also be long, but I have a lot of thoughts, hope at least some people agree with me lmao

i started typing this around when ch 390 came out so i know this has all been said before but with the new season coming out and like i said more people defending him i wanted to finally post this

"The Boy Born With Everything."

"That kid of mine will beat you some day, I'll make sure of it. That's why I created him."

Endeavor admitting he only had kids to be heroes, ones better than All Might, shows he does not truly care about his children. He only wanted them because he couldn't handle his failures. He sees them as a tool, not as his own kids, not as people. That's obvious in almost everything he says to and about Shoto.

And while I hate him, he isn’t a failure hero wise. He’s literally the # 2 hero out of however many hundreds there are. He’s simply mad he can’t beat AM? What is he a child who thinks he deserves everything he wants because he’s never been told no?

When Shouto finally used his fire Endeavor yelled about him finally realizing his “purpose.” More proof he sees his children, Shouto specifically, as tools. They aren't humans to him, they don't have their own feelings or goals, they are a means to an end. A means to his end. Shouto overcoming his own guilt (guilt caused by Endeavor) doesn’t matter to him. What matters is he now feels Shouto is worth something.

Class 1A vs 1B (i dont remember the exact episode names)

the flashback we get after Tokoyami talks to Shouto we hear Endeavor say, “Touya was close… Come on Shouto you’re the only one who can master this move.” Endeavor was putting the weight of his dead son's “failure” on the shoulder of his 5 (?) yr old kid. Making the kid who just lost his older sibling feel like he has to be better, or he could die too.

“Quit pretending to be weak.” Bro that is your very young kid. He is weak. Train him early, sure, whatever, but this is just abuse. You aren’t training him. Pushing your kid to the point of throwing up isn’t just training. It isn’t him being weak. It’s abuse.

I know this show is very flashback heavy in the first place but I really do interpret all the flashbacks Shouto gets of his dad as PTSD. Often times when fighting and in battle, after getting hit, he has memories of his dad. Sure, this could just be his motivation but I think it’s more than that.

"The Unforgiven."

"I thought if I saved you, that you might never say a word to me ever again." Aka Endeavor saying, "I should save my son, so he maybe likes me again." Natsuo my beloved. I love when he is an ass to his dad. His own son is saying he could never forgive him because why does he "need to be the one to make an active effort to change?" and that even though Endeavor wants to make up what does he think he can do now? Natsuo will always see his dad as the one who killed his older brother, and I don't blame him. Because that is who Endeavor is.

"He literally says in the episode he doesn't want forgiveness." And? He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't need to make Natsuo feel better for hating him when he has every right to after what his dad did to him and his entire family.

Sure, this episode is us seeing a "change" in Endeavor because he wants to be better, however, this is my post so I will say why I have a problem with this lmao. When did we see Endeavor start to change? After he became the number one hero. After he realized people were going to be looking at him even more.

The only good thing he does is realize that in order for his family to be happy he cannot be in the picture.

"Dabi's Dance"

Not including all the scenes I want to bc if I did, I'd just insert the entire ep lmao

"Oh, but he is changing. He regrets his actions." Why didn't he have regrets years ago when, to everyone's knowledge, his 13 yr old son had died? Endeavor didn't start feeling "guilty" until he became the number 1 hero. (as stated before)

And yes, we see and hear how upset Endeavor was over Touya’s death, but did he change? Did he stop being abusive and neglectful? Did he apologize and see his faults? Nope. So how bad did he really feel.

Dabi himself called him out on this during "Dabi’s Dance" when he said, “Is that why you finally decided to try to bond with your children? Keep looking toward the future and you can be a better man?"

On top of it all, Endeavor didn’t even step in to fight. Yes, he was shocked seeing his dead son in front of him again, but do you not think Shouto was shocked seeing his dead brother? He still fought.

Chapter 350

Many people say Dabi was born in the fire. However, that isn't true. Touya didn't die in that fire. He died and Dabi was born 3 years later when he went back home and had seemingly been forgotten about. He woke up in a strange place, covered in burns and sounding completely different. He wanted to go home. He wanted to apologize for all the awful things he said. He was told that he has been severely injured and once again that he was a failure. He was scared and alone. So, he goes home thinking he will be accepted with open arms, that maybe everything would be better, and everyone will celebrate yet he gets there, and his dad is still the same. Abusing his siblings and his mom is gone. Not only that but to Touya's POV, he has been replaced by his younger brother.

Plus does that not show you who Endeavor is as a person? That even after pushing his son to death he didn’t change.

"The Wrong Way to Put Out a Fire"

i won't include any clips or panels from this bc it is very intense and while this post will talk about it i still don't want to include those pictures

Going ahead and getting this out of the way because people love bringing it up for some reason, while what Rei did to Shouto was awful, obviously, it is not even close to being on the same level as the things Endeavor did to the entire Todofam. Rei was scared to look her own kids in the eyes because when she did, she saw Endeavor. She saw Endeavor's rage and feared for her safety, and in a moment of a clear panic attack and mental break defended herself, because look at Rei and tell me that woman doesn't have PTSD.

If the entirety of this ep didn't make you hate Endeavor and see he is incapable of change then idk what to tell you. Him convincing his very young child that his sole purpose is to be the next number 1 hero. He then finds out his kid physically won't be able to do that he tells him that he simply isn't good instead of sitting down and talking to him.

Buying Rei because he wanted to create his perfect child, then forcing her to be some baby machine. (Random fact that always haunts me is that Touya and Fuyumi were born in the same year.) Abusing Rei repeatedly. As well as, hitting her in front of the kids with a very young Shouto between them while the other two hide in a corner. Blaming Rei for Toya continuing to train when it is his own fault. Then on top of that, not going to Sekoto peak. He could have shown up for 2 seconds but no.

We also see another instance of Rei seeing Endeavor in her own kids when she tried to stop Toya from going and training like when Shouto came to check on her when he was little.

When Touya had a breakdown and tried to kill Shouto, instead of seeing the pain Toya was feeling and realizing his own mistakes, Endeavor just isolated Shouto from his siblings. Didn’t let him play with them, by what Natsuo said at dinner he monitored what he ate and when.

Also, I don’t wanna her “Dabi was insane from the start” after trying to kill Shouto. That was an abused child, turned neglected child, asking to be seen. Begging to be looked at. He, like Rei later on, snapped. He realized that if he wanted to be seen then the only one his dad cared about needed to be gone

Chapter 390.

Shouto finally shows up and brings Dabi down. Somehow Dabi is still alive and this is where he states that everyone, including him, should die. Endeavor then apologizes. Sure, he apologized, better late then never, whatever. However, it just really feels like he is speaking over Dabi. Dabi could be dying, could be saying his last words, and Endeavor starts talking. I will say I like how he acknowledges exactly what he did in some way. That he "pushed Rei past her breaking point", "put everything on Fuyumi's shoulders", and "abandoned Natsuo." It just all feels so empty and really doesn't mean anything with his entire family burned and scarred and Dabi lying on the ground, as well as Shouto passing out.

Endeavor’s “I’m sorry” only goes so far when his son is lying almost burned to death yelling for them all to die, Shouto over working himself to stop Dabi when even his dad couldn’t, and his non hero family standing on the battlefield as well.

In conclusion, Endeavor is an abuser. He pushed his 13 yr old son to death, pushed his wife past her breaking point then sent her away, neglected his other two children because they weren't what he wanted, and only felt bad after he achieved his dream. After he got everything he wanted despite it being built on a broken home and the victims he created along the way.

Like I said if you want to like him that's fine, but don't get mad at others when they don't like him. The Todoroki subplot hits home for a lot of people. It is a very serious and real situation. Take away the hero aspect and Endeavor is just another abuser in the world, something many people have been through.

Anyways if anyone read all of this hope you enjoyed. Hope some people agree. If you didn't leave an ask or comment lmao let's debate.

[archie-sunshine]

sorry i love thinking about rodimus and drift's relationship and all it's complexities.

because like. it's not healthy. in the slightest. rodimus is actively using drift to justify his more negative behaviours. he literally talks about how he doesn't listen to either magnus or drift because one is too negative and one it too positive so he ends up being able to do what he wants.

there's also that one scene in the shadowplay arc where it's implied he starts calling drift slurs if he doesn't pick up his phone fast enough.

this scene btw

like obviously rodimus could be calling him anything but considering drift literally ends that statement with "anyways, let's move on" it's probably not the nicest thing. which is not indicative of a healthy friendship

but the thing is it kinda goes both ways. the lost light is a ship away from the rest of cybertron, drift is able to put some amount of distance between himself and his past and there's a sort of buffer that likely comes from being around rodimus

cause like. the thing is. drift isn't some sort of hippy chill guy. that's an act he puts on for everyone else. like he's still spiritual, that's a big aspect of his character, but he's still very much a morally grey guy. he's shown to have zero issues with throwing himself headlong into combat. there's one scene where he literally gets pissy at rodimus for kill stealing him

and in the sound of breaking glass which is the in between scene after the tyrest arc, we learn that drift doesn't leave for rodimus' reputation or his sake, he leaves for the rest of the crew.

quote

"When I put this sword through my spark, I saw something."

"What, like a vision?"

"Kind of. More a sense of how thing would play out. It was abstract and it was fleeting, and every time I call it to mind it becomes harder to interpret, but something is around the corner, Rodimus - and a year from now, or 50 years from now, that something will arrive, and we won't be able to stop it unless we find the Knights. And I don't care if you thin, 'Oh that's just Drift being Drift,' because I'm convinced that you need to remain in charge. People can come and go - they can die - but you have to be here, otherwise we will fail. And so the simple the solution - the only solution - is that I take the blame for this."

"I won't let you do this for me."

"I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for everyone else."

End quote.

i don't know. i feel like this conversation is really important to understanding drift and rodimus' friendship that a lot of people miss because sometimes they don't read the interlude's.

drift and rodimus are not a healthy friendship but neither of them are actively trying to hurt the other. it's a mutually destructive relationship not just rodimus trying to take advantage of drift while drift is blissfully ignorant. (i really hate how people woobify drift. he's not some uwu spiritual hippy who is ignorant of how bad of a person he is. he's putting on a persona for everyone else to make them more comfortable around him, even if it makes him miserable and/or devalues him as a person in the eyes of others. that's why ratchet is good for him, because he doesn't care. he likes drift for drift.)

and that's a thing a lot of people seem to misunderstand about rodimus. he's not like, willfully ignorant. he's painfully aware of how badly he's fucked up on so many levels. that's a key aspect of his character arc. he recognises that he needs to grow and change

anyways hopefully this doesn't come off as annoying. i just really like thinking about the characters in mtmte and i think that a lot of people tend to conflate a lot of fandom personalities with the canon ones. something something, that every 3 months people should have to reread the source material

I have said this to literally everyone i've asked to read mtmte, and i will say it again:

RODIMUS STRAIGHT UP SUCKS.

LIKE FOR A REALLY REALLY LONG TIME.

The whole point of the story is that rodimus is a less than great guy who demands too much of people, disregards them, uses them, etc. and then he LEARNS. through having a thousand rocks thrown at him! that he needs to stop sucking!!!

They both enable each other's worst qualities. they are FULLY bad for each other. I have a soft spot for that kind of thing sometimes.

... BEFORE they go through their own separate character arcs.

I agree with everything you've laid out, because you ARE right, however, I argue personally that POST CANON driftrod can be healthy. I have a whole fix it fic planned about it, i believe they should kiss, etc etc

Like i'm a driftrod defender and i can say for certain that their initial friendship is very very bad for both of them, but I can SEE the POTENTIAL of them both growing as people, having to do that separately, and being able to come back together happily.

BUT GENUINELY PLEASE DONT FIGHT ME ABOUT STUFF LIKE THIS IM SCARED I DONT WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN SHIP WARS-

[theslowesthnery]

I think you’d be well within your rights to discard the DLC and continue interpreting Miquella on your own the way you and others have been, and I hope this shit doesn’t fully ruin that for you. It’s so disconnected to the lore and to Miquella’s originally intended ending, etc, and feels so random that it feels like it shouldn’t even be taken as the canon Miquella and people should just kinda shrug and go well! Never mind that. Back to my stuff

honestly, i kinda want to! and seeing how many people also hate what the DLC did to the characters, i wouldn't mind at all if we all just kinda. collectively decided to ignore the DLC's lore 😂 and honestly, i would like nothing more than to just keep headcanoning miquella the way i have and keep shipping him and mohg the way i have, but i don't know if i can. and even if i could, i would probably get shit for it, haha. i guess i just have to give it a bit of time and see how things turn out.

(honestly the correct move now would be to make my own "mohg and miquella with the serial number filed off" OCs, but i just. i just like mohg the way he is - with his specific appearance and backstory and everything - too much, i could never make an OC i would like as much as him T_T)

[squiddy-god]

jjk cuddles

Previously squid-god-supreme, fic re-uploading currently. This is old and was written pr- everything hitting the fan so it should be spoiler free. Magical universe with no angst or gege AU lol

Geto, gojo, nanami, noya but I make fun of him

Cw: fluff, tooth rotting to hide the pain, misogyny being mocked , probably ooc but I dgaf

Geto

Catch me simping-

Ok so like I feel like he's a great cuddle partner

He's big and warm 🥺 and has strong arms 

Perfect to hold you

Likes to be the big spoon and rest his head in the crook of your neck 

Will sometimes playfully pinch your sides

His cuddles are always very secure and snug

Likes it when you lay on his chest 

Not one for initiating cuddles but won't complain if you do

I just want to hug him,,, like aowbwiebeoee big arms go brrrrr 

I bet he's oddly soft

👉👈 please hold me 

Always looks so content when holding 

you, a relaxed smile on his face 

You didn't want to move, the position was too comfortable to consider getting up. Getos arms were wrapped around you, his long hair tickling your cheek as his head rested in the crook of your neck. It was peaceful, almost dead quiet as you laid there together. It was always nice to cuddle geto in the summer, his body running on the cooler side meaning that it wouldn't become stuffy or suffocating. Letting out a small but mischievous giggle you placed a kiss in his head, just a little peck, and another, and another, until he looked up at you with a smirk. "Oh? And what did I do to deserve all of those" geto asked kissing right below your lips. "Hmmmm I don't know, just felt like it" he humed, going back to his previous position, albeit holding you a bit tighter. 

Nanami 

Tired cuddles

Always holds you close before bed and thats 99% if your cuddles

Doesn't say he wants cuddles but it's pretty obvious he's tired and wants you in his arms 

This isn't a negotiation

Nanami's cuddles are very secure and comfortable, but also very loose

He just drapes his arm over you and boom, optimal cuddle position 

Is fine being the big or little spoon but prefers positions where your both holding each other

Likes lap cuddles, weather that's his head in your lap, your head in his, or you sitting in his lap

Peace and quiet, two things that nanami enjoyed. No Annoying Qtip sorcerer trying to mess with him, just you rested snug against his chest. His hand traced loose circles on your back while you listened to his steady breathing. It was times like this when he felt most content, moon high in the sky and day over, no space between the two of you but neither presence feeling suffocating, and it helped that he was warm. With your arms wrapped around his torso you gave a gentle squeeze just to let him know you were awake. He appreciated it, and all the little things you do. 

Gojo

I have ✨thoughts✨ about this 

First off he smells surprisingly nice, like he smells like sweets and a bakery 

It's a 50/50 chance on whether you get god tier cuddles or are left wheezing in pain on the floor

Because sometimes he will chose violence and start a tickle war, and how can you win 🤡

Little spoon gojo! He kinda koala hugs you and won't let go 

Asks for lots of cuddles but ends up pulling you into them whenever you walk by 

It's always a tangle of limbs with this lanky boy 

Ah yes, another movie night and another bad horror film; however the monster wasn't on the screen but rather the one tangled up with you on the couch. "Let me go- i'm gonna get more popcorn" pretending to ponder it for a moment, his cheek squished against your chest. "Nope! The only snack I need is you~" oh how you wished to wipe that smirk off his face. Trying to wriggle free from his grasp was impossible, "ah ah ah, I wouldn't try that if I were you~" he said in a Threateningly playful tone, his fingers tapping against your sides. You, not looking to catch those hands, relented, eyes going back to the cheap film. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆-: ✧ :-゜・．

Noya

Who??? 

W h O??? Who would want this man within 50 feet of them? 

Smh 

Probably smells like to much axe body spray because he doesn't want "girly" scents

If you cuddle this man your asking for it lmao because it's horrible

Always crumbs in the bed (hint: he's the crumb in the bed)

I imagine him with like a really smooth voice but he won't stfu 

Seriously never stops talking

Switches cuddle positions every 5 seconds

Refuses to be little spoon 

"Go back to the kitchen"

[chnt-confessions]

this will be a very unpopular opinion but i think the creators (specifically blue) are part of the reason why the fandom kinda sucks. yes, CHNT is masterfully written and i don't think anything could ever top it in my mind, but blue encouraged shipping sydidiah/seddie, and then he flipped and was like "uh, hey guys it's actually an unhealthy relationship, don't romanticize it." and with the way the ending of s1 is written, there is no other way for the fans to react but ship them, they are technically canon, no amount of anything will change the fact their relationship is canon until further notice. you'll also notice that there isn't a content warning (about jedidiah's gaslighting) for ep 1, even though there absolutely should've been (i was so startled and bothered when i heard it cuz i was going in thinking he was just some eepy little wet cat that sydney adopted) and, yes, the fandom is 16+ and they should have media literacy and realize that there are still, like, 3 seasons and adam will be their couple's therapist next season so it should be obvious that sydidiah/seddie shippers are in for some more pain and suffering and will likely be attacked even more, but they've just been going off of what was given to them. and while i understand the sentiment, saying that "drawing elijah in feminine clothing is upholding the stereotype of predatory transfems" is likely what brought in all the sjw shit into the fandom (i get being upset if a character's minority status is erased as a member of that minority but artists don't exist for you, if you want something done, do it yourself, don't harass someone into doing it for you). like, yeah?? ok?? but you're the one that implied he was wearing lipstick. i'm not transfem but i think as a general rule, it is ok to write a stereotype as long as you also include characters from that group that oppose the stereotype. the problem with minority characters in media wasn't the bad characters, it was that there were no good ones. variation, not perfection, or else you'll end up in a world where all the minority characters are sanitized and boring as hell because everyone is so scared of being cancelled (i think marisol falls into this, so far anyway, i mean, i love her but i kinda get why people aren't super excited about her? and i'm scared that fennel is going to be eerily similar). i've been mulling this over for a little while and i think there are a lot of mixed messages in CHNT and it's not entirely the fandom's fault for seeming to lack media literacy and feeling justified in some, let's say, interesting takes. but everyone's been blaming the fandom entirely, and not the creators, and i don't think that's fair.

‎

[starry-bi-sky]

tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid

okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.

Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.

It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.

(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)

There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.

It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.

Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.

Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.

He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.

At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.

This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.

Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.

Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.

Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.

("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)

Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.

Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.

Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.

Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.

Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".

(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)

Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.

He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.

Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.

Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.

At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.

He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.

Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."

And there it is. There's his out.

Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."

The ball starts rolling.

Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.

He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.

It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.

Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.

He breaks the lock by hand.

Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.

The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.

And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.

I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"

I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.

Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.

But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.

Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.

Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.

Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.

Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.

And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.

[francy-sketches]

Hiiiii guess who finished her pmv. finally. um enjoy :3

[pumpkinrootbeer]

Eugene was truly the best boyfriend. saw his girlfriend get broken up with, and immediately had a revenge glow up. Imagine being Cassandra seeing your ex girlfriend's boyfriend and he's wearing a golden choker with the just deepest v neck known to man, the world's sluttiest gloves, and a thigh garter. I'd have to give up then and there.

[cerealbishh]

"We get to, this season, explore their chemistry and their real love and their intimacy. So we get to have a glimpse into that world that just feels so pure and beautiful and romantic! And then, sort of navigating those other circumstances once they're out in the world, dealing with real... challenges." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)