#i should not be allowed to think deeply in the middle of the night

[odakota-rose]

man, looking at the night sky really can fuck you up. like damn i'm just trying to watch a meteor shower and instead the Existential Musings got me. anyway here's orion

[withwritersblock]

I Was In Love

~I Was In Love by Born Without Bones~

Author's Note: I think this may actually be my favorite song and one shot I've done so far :) oh also italics as always are flashbacks Summary: Luke and Y/N have a complicated history: Quinn is stuck in the middle of it Warnings: implied smut, swearing, some other things I probably should add but I'm not sure Word Count: 5,485 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

He was only supposed to walk her back to her dorm building, but then it started raining. There was no way she was going to let him walk back to his dorm building with the pouring rain. So he stepped inside, it was innocent until it wasn’t. 

She wasn’t sure how it happened but his lips were sucking the skin right above her collarbone as his hands were massaging her breast through the lace of her bra. She panted hard as she pulled her fingers through the thickness of his curls. 

He lifted his head and looked down towards her, a smile on his lips as he kissed her urgently. “Is this okay?” he asked as he looked deeply into her eyes.

“Very,” she muttered before she sealed her lips over his once more. She tugged at the hem of his black button up. He stood up as he began unbuttoning it, a wide toothy grin on his lips as he looked over her gorgeous frame. She bit her lip excitedly as he leaned towards her again, the shirt completely unbuttoned, his muscles in full view. He kissed her lips briefly before he flung the shirt away from his body.

Her hands wrapped around the base of his neck, running her fingers through his curls as he kept one hand beside her head as he was holding himself up and his other hand was gripping her hip.  He slowly pulled his lips from hers, meeting her gaze for a brief second as he began to trail wet kisses from her jawline and lower and lower on her body. He wanted to taste every part of her and she wanted to feel his tongue on every single part of her body. 

The rest of the night went by in a blurr. She never thought that her longest friend, her best friend, would be in her bed doing things she could only allow her mind to go. But he did and it was the best sex she ever had.

She woke up to see him already awake and staring towards the ceiling. She smiled softly as she looked towards him, but the frown on his lips slipped the smile off of hers instantly.

“Are you okay?” she asked as she rubbed her hand across her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he stood up searching the room for his shirt and pants that he came into her room wearing. His boxers the only thing covering his frame, “We were drunk, we shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry,” 

“Well yeah but what if we could be-”

He pulled his jeans up his frame, quickly buttoning them as he avoided her gaze. “You’re the last person I wanted to have a drunken hookup with, I’m sorry.” he said while shaking his head. He picked his shirt up from the floor as he covered his frame, “Can we talk about this later? I’m running late for practice,” he offered as he quickly slipped on his shoes and left the dorm room.

She sat up straight, feeling her eyes well up in tears. It was as if her heart completely shattered at that moment. All she has ever wanted was to be something more with Luke. She was madly in love with him and maybe that was her turning point, last night. She thought maybe that meant he was in love with her too.

That was five months ago. They never spoke about it again, rarely saw each other again. Luke had moved to New Jersey to pursue his dream of playing in the NHL. They only briefly saw each other during passing at school before he left. She avoided him the entire time and it felt like he was avoiding her too.

Except today was the first day that she was going to see him again. A few years ago, the older Hughes brother’s bought the lakehouse that was directly next to their longest family friends growing up. Y/N and her family. She was driving her own car towards her lakehouse, like she’s done since she was sixteen. Except the entire time she was filled with dread as her boyfriend, Kyle, was sitting in the passenger seat beside her. 

They had only been together for three months but her parents agreed to let him join and she was excited to spend the time with Kyle but also hating the idea that she would have to see Luke and Kyle in the same room.

She nervously tapped her fingers against the steering wheel as they pulled into her spot in the garage as it was big enough to hold two spots. 

“So these guys that own the place next door, are we going to be seeing them a lot?” Kyle asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt. Y/N widened her eyes slightly as she forced a smile.

“They should be inside right now actually,” Y/N mumbled as she reluctantly unbuckled her seatbelt. She didn’t want to see Luke again, except every part of her body felt weak knowing he was only a few doors away. 

“Good, I mean it’s good to meet them now,” he muttered as he pushed the passenger door open and climbed out of the car. She followed in pursuit. He waited for her at the door to enter her house with a kind smile. She returned it as she wrapped her arms around his chest giving him a quick hug.

“I’m excited to spend the next few weeks with you,” she mumbled against her chest. He kissed the side of her head before he pulled away. They stepped inside the house, “Can you actually put our suitcases and stuff in my room, right over there?” she asked, suddenly wanting to see the brothers by herself first. 

Kyle nodded excitedly before he stepped out of the door towards the car again. Y/N took a deep breath as she walked through the hallway leading towards her kitchen. 

The three boys were hanging out around the kitchen island. Quinn was sitting on a barstool chair holding a seltzer against his lips. Jack was sitting on the countertop staring at his phone. Luke was leaning against the countertop as he was snacking on some of the chips her mother probably set up for them.

“You guys do realize your house is next door right?” she said as she walked towards the kitchen.

Quinn turned around and smiled widely when he saw her walking towards the three of them. Jack hopped off of the counter as he chuckled. Luke turned his gaze towards her and looked as if he saw a ghost. He stayed frozen as he watched her walk towards them.

“Your mom buys the best snacks,” Quinn said excitedly as he engulfed her in a tight hug. “How’ve you been?” he asked as he rested his hand onto her upper arm, surveying her features. Jack jogged towards her hugging her tightly, she laughed as she rocked back and forth with him.

“I’ve been doing good, how are you guys?” she said as Jack pulled away. She glanced towards Luke, who hasn’t taken his eyes off of her since she stepped inside the house.

“Off season started a bit early but otherwise we’re great, ready for some sun,” Quinn muttered as he pulled Y/N to his side again, Quinn looked towards Luke for a few seconds, “Lukey, are you going to say hi?” Quinn offered tilting his head to the side.

Luke shook his head slightly as he stood up from his leaning position and he took a deep breath as he began walking towards her and Quinn slowly.

“Well, actually I should go check on Kyle. Make sure he didn’t get lost,” she slipped from Quinn’s grasp as she started walking away from them.

“Kyle?” Luke let out. Y/N spun around to meet Luke’s gaze. She widened her eyes as she nodded.

“My boyfriend? Did my mom not tell you guys he was joining us for a few weeks out here?” she offered.

“Y/N?” Kyle called out from the back hallway. She forced a smile as she searched down the hall for him.

“Hey baby,” she said as she stepped into her bedroom, her voice echoing into the kitchen.

“Kyle?” Jack let out barely above a whisper, his face scrunched up in disgust. “Did you know she had a boyfriend?” Jack pointed his question to Luke. Luke crossed his arms over his chest as he shook his head. Jack stared towards him furrowing his eyebrows harshly, “Why are you acting weird?” 

“I’m not,” he mumbled before he started shoving more chips in his mouth. Quinn and Jack shared a look before they decided to drop it. 

Y/N and Kyle walked from the hallway together side by side. Hearing his heavy footsteps, Luke kept his gaze on the sour cream and onion chips in front of him as he continued to snack. Y/N nervously wrapped her arm around Kyle as she walked towards the kitchen.

“Kyle, these are the boys,” she muttered motioning towards them, “That’s Quinn, Jack, and that’s L-Luke,” she pointed out each of the guys individually. Quinn and Jack walked towards the pair, each of them forcing a smile. 

“Nice to meet you,” Quinn offered his hand and Kyle gladly took it. Kyle offered his hand towards Jack and he reluctantly took the handshake. 

Luke leaned upward from his leaning position as he slowly walked towards the small group. Y/N looked towards him, their eyes meeting for the first time in months. Her breath caught in her throat as she forced her gaze to meet Kyle. 

Kyle offers his hand to Luke and Luke shakes his hand with a polite smile. “You go to UMich?” Luke asked as he rested his hands on his hips. 

Kyle nodded, “Yeah, I’m on the wrestling team,” he smiled as he spoke. 

“That’s sick,” Quinn offered as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

The small group continued to talk to one another beside Luke. He kept watching Y/N, his longest friend, his best friend. The woman he loved, in a relationship with someone else. The last time they hung out crossed his mind, like it did a thousand times a day. 

He freaked out. He freaked out when he woke up with her back pressed against his chest and their legs entangled together. His heart swelled with so much happiness as he looked at her sleeping beside him that morning, except every other part of his body resorted to panic. 

His eyes meet Y/N’s gaze, scanning her features for any sign that she thinks about that night too. She clenched her jaw before she turned her gaze back to Quinn. Luke pulled his lips between his teeth as he dropped his gaze to the floor. 

“I’m going to go unpack my stuff,” Luke let out as his gaze met each person in the small room. Quinn pulled his head back as he let out a breathy chuckle. 

“You never unpack when we come here,” Quinn offered.

“Feel like using my dresser for once,” he said with a simple shrug before glancing towards Y/N one more time before he started walking out of the kitchen. 

“We should probably unpack too,” Kyle said as he rested his hand on her hip as he held her possessively to his side. Y/N nodded as the pair walked back towards her room, she spun her gaze around towards the back door that Luke walked out of.

Quinn and Jack looked towards each other awkwardly as they both started walking out of the back door. “They’re acting weird, right?” Jack asked.

“Very,” Quinn shot back as they walked out of the house back towards their own.

After another twenty minutes Quinn and Jack both barged into Luke’s room to see him actually unpacking his clothes and putting them into his dresser and closet. He had soft country music playing as he was pacing around the room putting things in random spots.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked as he watched his younger brother. Luke only hummed as a reply as he added his hoodies to a coat hanger. “Are you sure? You and Y/N never shut up when you two are together.” Jack observed. 

“We haven’t really talked these past few months,” he said as he walked towards his closet with the six hoodies he brought with him. 

“You guys used to never go a day without at least calling each other,” Quinn mumbled. 

Luke shrugged, “Things change,” he said keeping his gaze low and away from his brothers bombarding him with questions.

“What things?” Jack muttered. Luke shrugged his shoulders again.

Quinn furrowed his eyebrows harshly, “What, you guys hook up or something?” he asked teasingly, chuckling nervously.

Luke froze, his entire body stuck as he slowly met Quinn’s gaze for a few seconds before he shook his head. “No,” he let out barely above a whisper. He dropped his gaze again as his cheeks turned bright red. 

Jack’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open as he shoved Quinn to the side. “When?!” Jack asked as he jumped up excitedly. 

“I said we didn’t,” Luke said as he nervously ran his hand across his chin. 

Quinn smiled widely, “Yeah but you're a horrible liar, Lukey. What happened? Was it bad or something?” 

It was the opposite. It was probably the best sex he’s ever had. It made him realize how much love he actually had for her as they didn’t just hook up. It felt like the start of something, a new chapter. A chapter where they were madly in love with one another.

“What? No,” he defended as he rolled his eyes.

“Then what happened?” Jack pressed.

Luke sighed as he shook his head, “I don’t know, I asked if we could talk about it later and we never did,” he took another deep breath.

“When did you guys-?” Quinn trailed off.

Luke threw his hands to the side, not wanting to talk about it any longer, “February, her sorority had some Valentine’s Day event we went to together. I walked her back to her dorm and we hooked up. Are you guys done asking questions?”

“No, dude, why didn’t you guys talk again?”

Luke clenched his jaw as he shook his head. His brothers were right, he was an awful liar. “I freaked out, okay?” he took a deep breath, “She’s my best friend and instead of telling her how I felt, I had sex with her while we were drunk. That’s a dickhead move. I just didn’t know what to say,”

“What’d you freak out about?” Jack asked.

“Everything was going to be different with her,” he let out while shaking his head, “I didn’t want to lose her, if I fucked things up and I fucked things up anyway. Can we please stop talking about it? I don’t want to be thinking about it while we all on the boat later,”

~~~

It was nine at night and the sun was already down but they were still hanging out on the boat. The music was loud to the point where you could only hear the person next to each other talk. Her parents were sitting and talking with Quinn and Jack as Ellen and Jim were talking with Luke. Y/N and Kyle were in their own world. 

Except every time Luke spoke, Y/N felt her heart flutter. She missed him, she missed him so much that it was physically painful. Her chest would ache hard at the idea of not talking with him.

Y/N kept her gaze on Luke, discreetly. “You okay?” Kyle whispered into her ear, pulling her gaze towards him. She nodded as she leaned towards him, kissing him briefly.

Luke was tuning out whatever his mom and dad were talking about as he saw Y/N kissing Kyle. He felt as though his heart shattered. He clenched his jaw as he dropped his gaze towards his lap. Quinn glanced towards Y/N briefly before he looked towards his youngest brother. He clenched his jaw as he shook his head. 

“You know,” her mother leaned towards Quinn, “I always thought Y/N and Luke would’ve ended up together.” Quinn's eyes widened as he looked towards her, “It just seems like they are growing apart. Breaks my heart,” she said as she tilted her head to the side.

“You don’t like Kyle?” Quinn asked, and she shrugged.

“He’s a sweet boy. He’s just not our Luke,” 

“I think we all thought they were going to end up together,” Quinn whispered towards her and she nodded. 

~~~

The next day, Y/N and Kyle stayed in bed for a few extra hours just basking in each other's company. “You know, I thought you and Luke were the closest? I mean being the same age at least,”

She was thrown off by the sudden subject change as her face scrunched up slightly. She cleared her throat as she nodded, “We were,” she started as she saw Kyle take in a sharp breath. “He was my best friend, but we had a falling out a few months ago,” she mumbled. 

Memories of the night in question flashed in her mind. His lips against her own as they were breathing heavily and grinding against each other's bodies. She recalled feeling her body fill with butterflies as he kissed her in the most dream-like way.

“What happened?” he asked. She looked into his dark brown eyes as she tried to figure out if she should tell the truth. Kyle nodded slightly as he took in a deep breath, “Let me guess,” he mumbled, “You guys had sex?” 

She clenched her jaw as she nodded slightly. “How’d you know?” she muttered as she met his gaze.

“I don’t know, it’s the way he looks at you; like he’s seen you naked or something,” he mumbled, a dry chuckle leaving his throat. She smiled softly as she rolled her eyes playfully. 

“It just made things awkward between us, we haven’t spoken since it happened,” she let out. He remained silent as he processed, “Are you mad that I didn’t tell you?” she asked.

“No, I mean as long as it was just sex. Like you didn’t have feelings for him, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, no-no feelings,” she mumbled.

~~~

She sat on the bathroom counter, his legs between her own. She adjusted the red heart around his neck that had her name written in cursive across it. “I never thought you would join a sorority,” he let out as he rested one of his hands on her thigh. She smiled as a chuckle fell from her lips. 

“It looks good on a resume,” she mumbled as she took a hold of a spray bottle and started spraying it onto his curls. His face scrunched up together as some of the mist hit his face. 

“This is tacky,” he continued, holding up the heart around his neck. She smirked as she took a hold of some of her own hair product and ran her fingers through his hair. “Do we have to wear these the whole night?” 

“Yes, Lukey,” she mumbled as she tilted her head to the side as she admired the work she did on his hair. “And until I get a boyfriend, you have to be my date to these things,” she said as she pushed him backwards slightly so she could hop off the bathroom counter. 

She adjusted the short black dress on her frame as she looked towards the mirror. She straightened out the red heart with Luke’s name. “What are we even going to do there?” he asked as he ran his fingers through his own hair. 

“Drink, dance, and take lots of photos,” she mumbled as she applied lip gloss to her lips. Luke eyed her lips as she added the clear gloss. “It’ll be fun,” she mumbled as she turned to meet his gaze. 

He huffed as he smiled, “You and I have different definitions of fun,” he mumbled. She rolled her eyes playfully as she took a hold of her phone and pulled out her camera. “Oh awesome, fun’s starting now,” he said sarcastically.

“You can be unbearable sometimes, you know that?” she let out teasingly as she wrapped her arm around the center of his back as he draped his arm around her lowerback. He pulled her tightly towards him. 

“Yeah, you too,” he shot back as he turned his head towards her with a teasing smile. She rolled her eyes as she snapped the photo of them at that moment.

“Smile,” she mumbled as she turned her gaze towards the mirror and snapped a few photos of them. Most of them are Luke glancing towards her the entire time. 

~~~

Later that night, Y/N stepped foot inside her own lakehouse, getting another drink from the fridge inside when she saw Luke sitting on the barstool beside her kitchen island. He lifted his gaze as he tossed a few chips into his mouth. His eyes scanned her body. Taking note of every single curve of her frame and how the two piece swimsuit showed every perfect part of her body. 

“Hi,” she let out as she smiled softly. He returned the soft smile as he sat up straight as she walked past the kitchen island.

“Hey,” he mumbled as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. They remained silent as she took a Truly from the fridge and cracked it open. She spun around and met his gaze. “Kyle seems nice,” he mumbled. She smiled.

“Yeah, he is,” she muttered as she brought the can to her lips. 

Their eyes remained connected as they remained silent for a few seconds. His eyes were soft and welcoming; he looked like he knew what she was thinking. All of things that have been left unsaid between them, it was as if their eyes were doing all the talking. Her heart went into overdrive.

Her eyes tried not to admire his body. His abs were prominent as well as the strong arm muscles. She took a deep breath as she rested her hands onto the counter. 

“How’s the NHL?” she asked. His eyes widened as he smiled softly.

“It’s amazing,” he mumbled, his eyes squinting slightly.

“You were fun to watch,” she let out as she met his gaze. He tilted his head to the side, a toothy grin on his lips.

“You watched the games?” he asked, genuinely shocked. She nodded dramatically. 

“You are still my best friend, Luke, Of course I was going to watch,” she mumbled as she met his gaze as she walked closer to him. He blinked his eyes rapidly as he looked away from her. 

“You seem happy,” he mumbled, unable to maintain eye contact with her. 

“Yeah, yeah.” she let out while shaking her head, “You too. I mean you’re living the dream, right?”

All he could do was hum as a reply as she was only a foot away from him and his chest was aching as he felt a magnet pulling her towards him but he tried to refuse the feeling and the desperation. 

“Why are you all alone inside? We’ve got an amazing bonfire going,” she asked as she leaned against the countertop. 

He couldn’t tell her the real answer. The real answer was that he had spent twenty-four hours watching Y/N and Kyle snuggle together and he was getting tired of it. He couldn’t breathe watching them because he wanted to kiss her cheek. He wanted to be the one holding her tightly. He wanted to be the one who loved her. He had to walk away and collect his thoughts.

While outside, Quinn was laughing at something Jack said when Kyle walked up to him. “Hey man, can I talk to you about something?” Kyle asked. Quinn’s smile slowly faded as he glanced towards Jack before he stood up and followed Kyle towards a secluded part of the backyard. Quinn nervously crossed his arms over his chest as he met Kyle’s gaze. “I’m gonna ask you a question and you’re going to not sugar coat anything,” Kyle asked. Quinn nodded.

“I’m not blind, alright? I know that your little brother has feelings for Y/N. She told me about what happened between them a few months back but she said that she didn’t have feelings for him. Is she telling the truth?” Kyle asked. 

Quinn took a deep breath as he licked his lips nervously. “We’re all close with Y/N. Jack and I have always treated her like she’s our little sister. Luke-” 

Quinn took in a sharp breath, “Luke’s been in love with her since he was eleven. He never wanted to act on it because he was terrified of losing her. Y/N was harder to see if she felt the same. Well, until they were like fifteen and they started cuddling all of the time. It was as if they constantly had to be near each other or the other one would implode. She dragged him to all of the school dances and sorority events.” he explained as Kyle was getting impatient.

“Look, they're avoiding each other because they are afraid of getting hurt. Which is causing them to get hurt anyway. You seem like a great guy, who would’ve been perfect for her. But there’s a lot of history between them that can’t be ignored,” 

Kyle remained silent as he took a deep breath. If he was being honest, he knew she wasn’t all in. He wasn’t even all in on the relationship either, it didn’t hurt to hear as much as he thought it was going to be. 

“I appreciate it, man.” Kyle mumbled as his gaze looked past Quinn to see Luke and Y/N walking out of the house together. Kyle let out a dry chuckle, “Can you tell her why I left? I’m going to pack my stuff and call an Uber.” Kyle mumbled. 

“What? You sure?” Quinn asked.

“Like you said, they’ve got history. I’m not stepping between that,” he said as he looked towards Y/N and Luke again. “Make sure they end up together, alright?” he said before he walked towards the house discreetly. 

Quinn stood still, his gaze on the dirt beneath his feet. “What the fuck just happened?” he asked himself as he walked back towards the bonfire. 

After another hour, Kyle was long gone and Y/N still had no idea. “Alright, you guys we’re going to go to bed, see you guys in the morning,” Her father expressed to everyone, the parents all went to their own lakehouse leaving the boys and Y/N alone. 

“Where’d Kyle go? Have you guys seen him?” she asked the three of them as she was starting to get a little worried. 

Quinn’s eyes widened as he cleared his throat, “He left,” is all he said. Luke perked upward at the mention. 

“What?” she let out.

“He-uh-he’s not as comfortable as he thought with you and Luke’s history. So he left,” Quinn said as his voice progressively got quieter. Luke kept shifting his gaze between Quinn and Y/N. She furrowed her eyebrows harshly as she leaned forward. 

“Did he tell you this history exactly?” she questioned, glancing at Luke for a second. 

“He might’ve,” he mumbled, glancing towards Luke, “Kinda already knew about it, though.” 

Y/N eyes flashed red as she turned her gaze towards Luke. “Can I talk to you?” she asked, standing up and walking towards Hughes's lakehouse. Luke’s room was on the second floor and his parents room was on the first. In her lakehouse her room was directly next to her parents. 

Luke slowly stood up from his seat, “Thanks,” he said sarcastically as he followed Y/N. Jack and Quinn shared a glance before they looked back towards the dying flame. 

Once Luke stepped into the house, he saw her already storming up the stairs towards his room. He took a deep breath as he skipped several steps to follow her faster. She walked into his room and began to pace back and forth. Luke shut the door behind him.

“You told Quinn!?” she called out. 

“An-and Jack, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to! You know I’m a bad liar,”

“What did you tell them exactly?!” she questioned.

He stayed quiet for a second as his heart was loud in his ear, “Quinn made a joke about us hooking up and I-I didn’t deny it that good so they found out. I told them that we just didn’t talk afterwards, we were just avoiding each other,” he explained.

Her mouth fell open as she nodded slowly. Her tongue pushed to the side of her mouth as she spun around to look away from him for a brief second. 

“Do you remember what you told me the next morning?” she asked, her voice quieter.

He met her gaze and squinted his eyes slightly, “That I was running late to practice and if we could talk about it later?” 

“Before that,”

He thought about it for a second, he replayed every second of that morning in his mind but the words were not coming to his mind. She took a deep breath as she clenched her fist and unclenched it. “You said that I was the last person you’d ever want to have a hookup with. Like-like it was embarrassing to have sex with me,” 

His eyes widened as he felt like punching himself in the chest. “Oh my god-no that’s not-”

“You hurt me, Luke!” she shouted towards him, her eyes welling up in tears.

 “I thought-I thought,” she shook her head again, “I don’t know what I thought but that was horrible to hear. Especially from you! You were supposed to be my best friend.” she shouted towards him. 

“That’s not what I meant!” he said loudly, “That not what I meant,” he let out softer as he stepped towards her, almost reaching out to touch her. 

“You know, I cared a lot about Kyle! We could’ve been something great. He was sweet and charming and he would’ve never said that to me but you-you ruined that!” she shouted as she stared deeply into his eyes. The tension was rising between them as they were only a foot apart.

“Well, if you care about the guy so much why aren’t you going after him?! Huh? Why are you standing here, shouting at me?!” he countered, getting closer to her face. She clenched her jaw as her heart was beating hard against her chest. Her skin felt hot as if steam was leaving her body. 

“I don’t know!” she shouted back as her eyes looked deeply into his eyes. His eyes were staring hard back towards her. 

“You didn’t deserve our first time together to be a drunken hook up,” he expressed, taking another step towards her. “You deserved roses and candles and all that sappy romantic shit not some dorm bed we barely fit on,” he continued as he scanned her softening features.

“Luke-”

“I couldn’t tell you I loved you, I couldn’t tell you because I was scared I was going to lose my best friend. And then I fucked up and lost you anyway,” he explained as they were mere inches apart now. “You deserved better than that and I couldn’t face it,” he mumbled. 

She leaned towards him, urgently kissing him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she felt her body jump against him. 

He quickly took a hold of her lower back pulling her towards him. The tension between them only increased as their lips remained connected sloppily.

She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her bare thighs against his body rushed goosebumps against her skin. 

He delicately laid her down onto his bed as his lips pulled away from hers briefly, admiring her features from the very short distance.

“I love you too,” she mumbled as she ran her fingers through the ends of his curls. He pecked her lips briefly before he leaned fully away from her. “Where are you going?” she asked barely above a whisper.

“We’re not doing this now,” he muttered as shook his head. He stood up from the bed and walked towards his closet to give her some clothes to sleep in. Instead of the swimwear still covering her frame.

“Why not?” she asked, pouting slightly. He smiled widely as he tossed her one of his hoodies and a pair of shorts she left at his dorm several months back. 

“Candles and roses,” he mumbled as he covered his frame in one of his hoodies. She smiled widely as she began to put on the clothes he handed her.

[writella]

Go to Sleep

Synopsis: Daryl and the reader explore a new way of trying to help you get to sleep.

Details: Smut, 18+, soft-dom!Daryl, afab!reader, tiny bit of mean Daryl but not really, tiny bit of somnophilia but in the end it isn’t really either, Daryl reveals a little of his praise kink, thigh riding, oral (reader receiving), brief descriptions of anxiety, but ends sweetly. wc: 2.8k.

You hate the feeling of having your eyes closed but being so, desperately awake. It feels like a frustrating loop of constantly thinking about the thing you should be doing, the peace you should be feeling, but you simply, just, can’t.

It’s not like when you’re sitting out in the woods, the sun so nice and bright as you rest upon a tree, or when you’re on a ride with Daryl and you close your eyes, resting on his shoulder as the wind hits your face. It doesn’t feel warm and safe; it feels like a dark, void space, and you’re running endlessly to nowhere.

This is how it was, you had been having terrible sleep for weeks now. You felt it in your throat and in your chest whenever— and it was every time— that you woke up with your heart pounding in the middle of the night. You felt your heart beating without even touching your body, and it made you want to throw up.

This is why Daryl had slept with you for the past two weeks, hoping to ease your thoughts.

What you and Daryl had remained undefined at this point. He was loyal and cared for you deeply, but he was also independent and enjoyed doing things at his own pace— initiating wasn’t his strong suit.

This is also why, just the other night nearing twelve am, you had to beg Daryl to take you around the Alexandria houses for a fourth time on his bike before allowing him to leave you on your doorstep. This is where you admitted what was going on, “Please,” you asked sadly, “When I’m alone… I just- I just start thinking too much. I can’t sleep.”

So of course, he took you around again. He didn’t even say anything, just grabbed one of your hands tighter around him, starting to ride slowly. Firstly because he wasn’t trying to wake anyone up, and secondly because he was trying to make it last longer for you. He went around five more times.

Every time you saw your home approaching again your eyes dropped knowing what was coming until he just kept going. But after the fifth time, just when you hoped maybe this was a dream where you could just go around in peaceful circles all night with Daryl, he stopped. He had to sleep too.

He stood between his bike then, waiting for you to get your door, but you moved at a deafeningly slow pace. You hated the darkness that was beginning to weigh behind your eyes. You hated the night now and you hated it even more when you weren’t with him. So, as you hit the top step, you turned back around, running up to him.

Your eyes were meek when you paused before making your final request, “Daryl… please, will you stay with me?”

And that did it: as if you already hadn’t made him go around the neighborhood almost 10 times, those were the words that hit him at the bottom of his heart the most. Neither of you were ever as forward as you were being that night and he couldn’t say no. You told him that you needed him.

The first night was a success, in fact. You happened to fall asleep quite quickly as his strong arms held you down, grounding you in safety. Though as the days trailed on, it seemed that wasn’t exactly enough anymore. Your intrusive thoughts always found a way of sneaking in through Daryl’s stronghold.

Tonight was a night like that. Your eyes were closed, but your mind was very much awake.

You had initially gone to sleep on your side— you both were. Daryl’s face was almost touching yours.

He wasn’t much of a talker all the time, but the typical method that had been working other than laying on his chest was asking him about his day, what things he might have gathered from any trips outside, or seeing if, and it was only on rare occasions, he would tell you a story from his past.

There weren’t many fond memories, but he would always find something: maybe about one of his first hunting trips, or some hijinks he and his brother got into before he ditched when Daryl was a kid… but he didn’t like casually talking about his brother. He’d keep those short for now. You waited patiently for them to get longer. Either way, the stories always helped you get to that initial sleep, so he’d make sure to find one to tell if it made you feel better.

But now you were still awake and Daryl was seemingly asleep. You knew he could probably tell you were turning and shifting at some points, but you didn’t want to truly wake him up yet. It felt greedy after he was being so giving. And it was so rare to see him so peaceful. His eyes were usually elusive and stern. You might have started to know him more than others, but still, it wasn’t all the time that you could tell what was in his head. He was always guarded, especially between the mouth and eyes, but when he was asleep, his face relaxed.

Though the insomnia was killing you, it was nice to see him like this— he was just so handsome. His hair, his lips, his arms— you were obsessed with every shirt he ruined by cutting the sleeve— his abdomen, you almost grazed his lower stomach with your finger tips, thinking about if and how much you would love his-

Then a thought came up.

Probably worse than waking him up even though that would do it regardless, but you moved mindlessly before really thinking about it.

Your legs slid forward, slotting Daryl’s top leg that perched forward, knee almost touching your leg, in the middle of your own two.

Your legs move up a bit and you brush yourself against his thigh once, the movement is so small, then twice, the slight friction feels good, your eyes finally close again, but then you stop. What were you doing? Your head turns face first into the bed and stays there for a moment, quietly letting out your frustration into the sheet.

“You gonna move or what?” It comes out as a grumble and it makes you jut.

You’ve been caught.

“You ain’t slick,” his eyes are still closed, “but go on.” He takes his top leg out from between you and places it better, from the awkwardness ‘trying’ to not wake him up angle you had it at before.

You hold his top shoulder and he holds you right by the waist and you begin to rock. Daryl starts to flex his quad up into you as you grind down onto him. Your wetness finally seeping up so that your lips open a little as they push and rock against him. You can now feel your clit getting more attention from the hard pressure his thigh causes against you.

Daryl opens his eyes for a moment, yours are closed. Face twisted and eyes scrunched as you let out short breaths. You were invested in getting yourself off, you grinded down faster, his hands on your hips now were loose allowing you to go as hard as you pleased, for a minute, then another, and then another until he stopped you.

He pushed his hands and fingertips hard into your hips, deciding he wanted to control the pace. He pushed you into him slow and deep and despite it feeling good, you wanted to go fast, to stop thinking. It made you whine, complainingly as you came down from the high you felt you could have reached. “But Daryl-”

“Shut up.” It sounded like a quiet bark.

You were getting him riled up, yes, but it was also a full moon tonight and Daryl would rather be sleeping on the hard rock ground under the stars than in a bed, only being able to stare at the sky from a window. Even though he knew you had been feeling anxious about something for a while, and he wanted to make you feel okay, he can’t lie, your sleep not improving was starting to get on his nerves a bit. And especially so tonight when your restlessness kept him up the whole time, despite you not knowing.

He allowed you to keep riding him at his pace for a moment until he got a new idea: he pushed your leg off and you gave an exasperated sighed, frustrated at the feeling of nothingness. “Shh,” was all he whispered, it came out sharp.

“Daryl, let’s just-”

“Stop.” He took you by the face when he said it, squeezing your jaw roughly. “Don’t talk.”

He lays you on your back and takes off your pants you were sleeping with, they’re ruined, and you weren’t wearing any underwear after your shower. The blanket is pushed to his side of the bed now as he goes downward, spreading your legs, not too wide but just enough for him to get in between. Holding your thighs, his thumbs kneading the skin on the inner side. He licks the outside of your hole, almost slurping in your wetness as he does it just so he could move it up your pussy toward your clit and sucks in again. He lays his tongue flat and presses back down again, repeating the motion, making you even more wet, everywhere.

Your upper back moved forward, your elbows and forearms propped up so you could watch. This felt better than before, even with his slower movements, he felt so good there so instantly that you couldn’t help yourself but staying up to look, but after he sees you he stops.

Silently, Daryl pushes your shoulders back into the bed, you can’t tell if he was only accidentally being rough. He pushes your pillow up only slightly against the headboard, just enough so your head wasn’t completely propped up, but just so if you wanted to move your head to the side you could still look if you wanted to when you realized you could. “Stay,” then begrudgedy he adds, “and close your eyes.”

Daryl went down again, making his pace slower than before: His lips and tongue sucked in your clit again, it coming into his mouth as much as the little thing could and he repeats it again until he had peppered you there with slobbery kisses and then he moved to one side of your labia, his lips slotting themselves above and under that one side as his tongue goes out and in, kissing you deeply. The man was literally making out with your pussy.

Just as he would with your mouth, his head turned and leaned into it, pushing his tongue in and pressing against you, his lips in between one of your own down there as he did so. He went in the middle of you again, his nose rubbing against your clit a few times as his tongue went lower, sucking in more of your wetness again. His nose brushing against you made you shudder.

Your eyes were still closed, but they scrunched even harder now and your head started shaking side to side. You have never felt him down there being so intentional, deliberate, and intense. Something so surprisingly romantic, but still so fucking dirty and sexy. He has pushed your wetness everywhere. You felt like a dripping mess and more than half of his face was all coated in it and it just felt so good.

He moved to the other side of your pussy now, giving it the same attention as he did the first. Making out with you down there as if he could do it forever. So slow, but it felt so warm and deep.

You felt him suck you in and swallow some of your wetness. He hummed into you as he did it, a raspy “mmmm” melted into you and it made you moan, the sound coming from you instantaneously because of the vibration you felt down there from his voice. You covered your mouth, your house was quiet and you didn’t want to wake anyone up but the more he continued, the harder it was becoming.

Now, his lip suctioned your pussy lip in between his and he slid down, tongue trailing the inner side until he was able to slot his tongue inside your hole, staying there and still kissing you. Moving his tongue in and out now, still slowly, feeling every bit as he moved.

Your quiet pants were continuous, but you were trying hard to hold in your noises. Not wanting to wake up anybody else you lived with, but also not knowing if Daryl would stop again if you spoke too much.

To your misfortune, he stopped anyway. Your eyes open and push your head to the side of your pillow so you can look down at him. Your mouth was open, but you made sure not to complain.

His chin almost rested on your mound, he was already looking up. “Does it feel good?” You couldn’t read his eyes, but his voice was surprisingly tender and questioning.

You assured him immediately, “yes,” you whispered giggling. You brush his hair with your fingers, undoing some tangles. You got lost in his eyes for a moment before he went down again.

“Tell me,” he says, it almost sounds muffled as he sucks you in until he takes a breath to say more clearly, “I wanna hear you now.”

“Don’t wanna get to loud,” you’re breathless.

He licks you off his lips, looking you in the eye, “so don’t.”

Daryl starts going faster now, breathing you in and humming, knowing you can feel the vibrations, jerk. “Mmm, Daryl, please.” You start to pant again, still too scared you might let yourself go too far.

His fingers spread wide, splaying over to your lower stomach, pushing down until he reaches your tit and circling your nipples. His other hand joins him, it makes you inhale sharply. With that and the way he circled your hole, trying to get his tongue to go in and press as much as he could, it caused you to jerk up, taking one of his hands in your own, squeezing it. Your other hand went to his hair. His fingers weren’t even inside of you, but his hands felt so big no matter where he touched you and his tongue felt incredible, you didn’t know how he did it and it made you start to loose it, “ah- Daryl-”

“You like that?” He pushed you hand off his head and he took his free hand to finger your clit and he went back to sucking and making out with you toward your center. It all makes you nod your head, shaking quickly.

“Say it.”

“I like it,” it came out as a whispered shriek. “I like it, I like it,” you were breathless, “Daryl you feel so good.” You were holding on as hard as you could, but it wasn’t working. Your thighs came to close in on his face but he pushed his hands into your inner legs opening them even further and he kept going down, his nose pressing into you.

His mouth moved up again making out with your clit and lips on top and two of his fingers went into your hole.

You held onto his other hand again and squeezed and he thrusted his fingers into you hard and fast, he wanted to make you reach the end now.

“Oh- Daryl- oh my god,” you were coming out pathetically now as his fingers started to curl into you, and he added another.

Suddenly, you felt it. Right at the bottom of your stomach, the spark, the indescribable electricity as he kept humming into you on top and jamming into you at the bottom. All you heard was the squelch of you and his fingers and tongue lapping and lapping until you let out as much of a suppressed moan as you could release as you came.

Your eyes finally relaxed as you settled down and Daryl sat up on the bed, watching your breathing slow.

He stayed there for a moment, looking at how the night’s light shined on you from the window.

You had pulled the blanket over your legs again but he pulled it off. You didn’t know exactly what he was doing but your eyes were still closed. You were tired and sexed out now, you couldn’t get yourself to open them or ask questions, and it wasn’t a particularly cold night anyway and you still had his shirt on. You let it be, your mind finally drifting until you heard quiet footsteps travel down stairs, until they quickly ascended again.

Daryl took you by the upper back and under your knees, picking you up. With no words he took you to the front porch, gently laid you on the blanket, the side closest to the door. He laid himself on the opposite, closest to the sky.

You’re curled into his chest, you almost looked like a kitten, arm over him, fist curling into your chin contentedly, eyes closed and so peaceful, but you still kept nestling.

“Go to sleep,” he insisted softly. His hand went into your hair, lulling you further into your trance. This time it worked. He did everything right and now the trick was paying off, you couldn’t help but fall closer and closer into your slumber.

Daryl turned to his left to look at the moon, its gentle gleam finally coaxing him into his own sleep as well.

[berrieluv]

hold me, love me, touch me, be the first who ever did. a short blurb about james potter being boyfriend material.

It goes without saying that James Potter is definitely the best boyfriend, person, friend there was.

He cared so deeply for you and made you feel so loved all the time, you really couldn't complain, not for once has he ever make you feel unrequited.

And for someone who spent most of its life thinking loving them was hard, James Potter was quite the gift. There was something about his way, maybe it was his personality or the professing love he felt for you that made him act that way, whatever it was, you don't think of changing it for a mere second.

For summer break, James invited you to his house – more like his mansion –, it would be fun. Remus and Sirius would catch you there a few weeks later so you had plenty of time to get to know his parents better, and the alone time you would spend together. You were looking forward to it.

Except for the nights. You knew your nights were odd, no one really had this routine for it, you got to lower it down, your mom and dad always making sure it was fine.

"James?" You murmured in the middle of the night. You tried to push your needs as much as you could but it was getting imposible. James was facing the opposite side of you, one of his legs was on top of your body but it allowed you to sit "Jamie..."

"Mmh?"

"Did you closed the door?"

"S'closed, baby. See?" He said, extending his arms to the bedroom door.

"The principal door"

"I didn't. M'sure someone else did, s'fine"

James had a really thick accent, and he spoke too fast very often. In a daily and normal basis it was hard to keep the track of what he was saying, now sleeping it was even harder"

"What if no one did?" You asked, looking at his curls falling on his forehead, his pretty face illuminated by the peaks of moonlight entering through the window "Can we check?"

"I'm sure someone did, baby. There's many people living here"

"What if someones breaks in?"

"That won't happen baby"

You played with your fingers for a few seconds, you trusted James. He lived in a nice neighborhood. Entering was hard and the people around seemed nice enough to not go through their neighbors.

But still. You. Needed. To. Check.

"Can we go check?"

"Can you go back to sleep?"

He answered back with a smile, trying to push you to the mattress but your eyes were fixated to the door, thinking. You won't be able to sleep if you don't go and check that. You know it.

"Jamie..." He responded with a sleepy 'Mmh' before you said something else "Please, can we go check?"

"Alright" He said, taking the blankets off and revealing his naked torso. You knew he liked to sleep like that, in fact, those pajama pants were too many clothes for his liking – and yours too –, but you were at his parents' house, you should show respect "Hand"

You take James' hand and let him help you out of the bed, he waits for you to put on your slippers and starts walking to the stairs.

The big brown, beautiful principal door is standing right in front of you, closed. James stands at the edge of the stairs and waits for you to see it, not counting on you wanting to go and really check if its closed.

Still, he walks down with you, still holding hands and yawning.

"See?" He says when your hand meets the locker and check that it's locked. "Back to sleep now, baby"

But you were already downstairs. And the oven was just too close to go back to the room. "What about the oven?"

"The oven is in the kitchen"

You frown; "Is it off?"

"Of course it is"

You say nothing, but the eager look in your eyes directing to the kitchen makes James sigh and start walking with you.

Even if you could see the oven off you still kneeled a bit in front of it, just watching it. James couldn't be more confused, but what could he say? If checking the oven and the door would make his girl happy, count him in.

"Is off"

He smiles "See, baby? No harm as long as you're with your man"

And you smile back. Because what kind of guy would drag himself off bed and walk downstairs at 2:30 in the morning to just check if the door was closed.

When you exit the kitchen, the principal door is looking at you again, and suddenly you can't remember if you did a good inspection in there. Your body and James' is already four stairs up, but you had to check it.

You let go of James hand for the first time since you got out of bed and run to the door, check the look again and smile to yourself now that is locked.

"S'alright. We checked good the first time"

"Thank you"

You murmur and he just smiles and kisses your forehead.

After that day, James Potter goes through the whole house, holding hands with you, checking if everything is in order to go to sleep. Of course there's time you need to double check in the middle of the night, often he would try to help you to control it, but sometimes you really need to double check.

[professional-yapper]

Proximity pt. 4

Neteyam x Olangi! Reader

Warnings: fluff, misunderstanding and lack of communication, making out up, reader is lowkey the bane of my existence

"We need to talk," you began bluntly as you entered your hut, finding Neteyam sitting rather dejectedly on the floor. "Wha- how long have you been there? Were you waiting for me?"

Neteyam nodded, unfolding long limbs and standing up to meet your eyes. You noticed he was gripping his loincloth again, like he had when he first met you. "Did I do something wrong? Whatever it was, I'm sorry. I never meant to upset you, you must understand that."

You exhaled shakily, taking another step into the hut, bringing you closer to him. "No. Lo'ak explained it to me. The- the cultural differences."

Neteyam tilted his head, looking almost amused by his brother's involvement. "Lo'ak did?"

"Mhm," you confirmed. "I did not- my people are not permitted to do what we did with anyone but our mate. We are not mated yet. I brought shame to my family by letting you kiss me."

"Oh." Neteyam's eyes grew soft with understanding. "I'm sorry. Truly. I should have known better. You just-" He stopped, cutting himself off, a flush spreading across his face, turning his head away from you.

Your heart stirred in your chest at the sight. "I just what?" you prompted, reaching out, gripping his upper arms and forcing him to look at you.

Neteyam huffed out a little laugh, letting his head drop forward so his face was inches from yours, turning his hands to cup your elbows, running his thumbs over your skin delicately. "You just looked so good. Like you were made to be here, standing in the home I made for you, all warm and golden in the midday sunlight, looking so peaceful for once. I didn't think twice."

You smiled. "Yeah?"

"I don't regret it," he added seriously. "The only thing I regret is upsetting you and making you think I did not want to see you. You are all I want to see, paskalin. The first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when i go to sleep." His voice was trembling a little as he spoke, grip growing tight on your elbows like he was trying to steady himself.

"I know this union is arranged, but-"

"I want this," you interrupted, voice firm and steady, sliding your hands up his arms to cup his face. "I want you."

Neteyam sucked in a breath, eyes darting to your lips ever so briefly. But he made no love to kiss you, and you didn't know if you were disappointed or not. "I cannot wait," he said in a low voice.

You knew what he meant. Couldn't wait for the night you two would mate in the eyes of Eywa. It made your heart beat faster just to see how eager he was for you.

"I can," you said, smiling irresistibly, wanting to tease him just s little now it was all out in the open and you had nothing to fear anymore. "I will have you for the rest of my life. There is no rush."

Neteyam didn't seem to share your feelings, instead making a low, defeated rumbling noise in the back of his throat and releasing your elbows.

Your heart rate spiked again, this time out of anxiety as he let you go, wondering if you shouldn't have teased him.

But then he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and the other around your middle, pulling you into his chest, pressing his nose into your hair and breathing you in deeply.

His tail coiled around your calf, and you wished you could return the gesture, but settled for hugging him back, wrapping your arms around him and taking comfort in the steady rise and fall of his chest.

"This will be a happy union," Neteyam muttered into your hair, a note of steel in his voice. "Maybe this love will not last, but I want us to be happy. I swear it to you now, paskalin. I will make you happy."

You didn't have the words to respond to that, instead pressing your forehead to his shoulder.

"Do you trust me to make you happy, paskalin?" Neteyam asked lowly, stroking one hand up and down your back.

"I trust you, ma Neteyam." Your voice was softer than you had ever allowed it to be.

He shivered at the use of 'ma' and held you tighter, like he was trying to envelop you with his body. "I cannot wait," he repeated.

This time, you agreed with him. If he shivered at a mere affectionate term of possession, you couldn't imagine what other reactions he might have. "Neither can I."

Finished this in bed half asleep and it has not been proofread whatsoever I don't believe in proofreading (fun fact!) Also very short for which I apologise 🤧

Enjoy!

Taglist: @luvv4j4ybe11 @ikeyniofthetayrangi @rivatar @lunamochii @mochamochimoch1015 @dutifullyannoyingfox @oakbuggy @abcm18339 @atokirina-tsuki

Part Five >

[wutheringcaterpillar]

Remember That Night? Chapter 1/4

Summary: What happens when your boss whom your head over heels for calls you in the middle of the night to go for a drive and things go further than they should? Will they make it work or will it end in tragic heartache?

warnings: boss/employee relationship, nostalgia, deep descriptions of heartbreak

italicized is past tense.

The case files spread out across your desk were all mixing together in a blur. It felt like there was no end to it and this was the one you thought was gonna stick with you. The rest of the team had left except for Aaron. He was sitting in his own office looking for anything that could stand out exactly like you were.

Glancing up you saw his eyes scanning the papers intently with one hand resting on his forehead. In your heart you missed the bond that you shared with him deeply but the chances of anything happening again were close to zero and it made your heart ache to think that he’d never be yours.

A few months after Haley passed Aaron was having a night just like the one you’re having now and he needed closure. The night still replayed in your mind at moments like this but you’re okay now. It had been five months since the two of you cut whatever connection you had romantically off. You’ve moved on and entered the dating world, it was for the better. Closing the case files you began to put them back in order and erase the case from your mind for the night. Right when you were about ready to get up and head out Aaron approached you at your desk and sat down in a chair across from you. “It’s late. Every one else went home hours ago. Everything okay?” His intent gaze stared deep into your eyes but you didn’t allow yourself to get lost in him. “Yeah, I just don’t understand how some people can be so cruel. I think this is the one that’s gonna stick with me and it worries me but, I know I need to get home and get rest.”

“Y/N, you know I’m always here if you need to talk or vent.” You nodded in response. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, you couldn’t help but see him twiddle his thumbs a bit, it looked as if he was in deep thought, his eyebrows were knitted together like they always were when he was like this. “What about you? Are you okay? Everything going well with Beth?” He stopped all movement and his eyes connected with yours once more. “Can I ask you something?”

“I’m an open book ask away.” He shifted in his chair, leaning forward a bit. “Do you remember that night? The first night?” All of a sudden the memory came flooding back like hurricane.

The night was beautiful out, a clear sky, twinkling stars, streetlights lit up the roads just outside of your apartment. The vacation you were currently on from work was much needed, thoughts of Aaron filled your mind at times. You couldn’t imagine how he was coping, being a single father, going to sleep in a bed without his wife. It had to have been difficult, you knew the crush you had on him was silly and that it would never go anywhere but you couldn’t help the feelings you had for this man. 

Settling down onto your couch you turned on the television to catch up on one of your favorite shows, avoiding the news at all costs you wanted all crime to be out of your head for your entire week off. Cracking open a beer you grabbed a blanket and settled it over your legs. About halfway into the episode your phone rang causing a groan to escape your lips but your heart fluttered when you saw it was Aaron. What could he possibly need it was 2:30 am. “Hello?” 

“Hi. I’m sorry to be calling you this late I hope I didn’t wake you.” When he spoke he sounded like he hadn’t slept yet and that he may have been having a bad night. “No, you’re okay. Is everything alright?” 

“Y/N I just really need someone right now. I hate to bother you on your vacation but would you like to go for a drive? If you’re too tired I understand.” You couldn’t help but respond as quickly as you did, this is the moment you had been waiting for. “I’m all for it. What’d you have in mind?” You couldn’t see it but Aaron was smiling on the other end of the phone. “I know a place.” 

For the fifteen minutes it took him to get there you didn’t want to get too dressed up, it was the middle of the night after all. You left your sweats on but changed into a snug fitted shirt before brushing your hair and throwing on a pair of tennis shoes. Water was splattered on the bathroom sink from you washing your face and brushing your teeth to disintegrate the alcohol smell on your tongue. When you heard the knock on your door your heart skipped a beat. Glancing at yourself one last time in the mirror a big bright excited smile took over your flushed face. Your mind guessing where he would take you as you walked to answer the door. 

On the other side Aaron stood there also dressed in sweats and a t-shirt he looked absolutely breathtaking even out of his suit. His hair was slightly disheveled and when he spoke “Hello” to you the small dimples next to his lips formed from a smile. Aside from that you were completely locked in and lost in his eyes, he was really here. “So are you ready?” You nodded in response and he moved out of your way to excuse you into the hallway. “So where are we going?” 

“It’s a surprise.” 

Once outside he opened your car door for you like a gentleman before getting into his own side. The way his hands curled over the steering wheel and his veins popped out sent so many thoughts swirling in your mind. The car ride was filled with endless conversation, mostly him asking about your vacation and you asking how the team has been doing but neither of you talked about any cases past or present. It was nice. 

He maneuvered his car into a parking lot, there was a hill toward the top of it, looking like it would be overlooking something. 

Once out of the car the wind blew slightly causing leaves to flutter around, he noticed you cross your arms together. “Are you cold? I have an extra jacket in the car if you’d like it. I keep it in there for Jack because he tends to cold with how much I use the air conditioning.” A small chuckle escaped your lips. “No, it’s okay, it feels-“ Before you could finish your sentence he was opening the back car door and pulling out one of his gray zip up hoodies. “I insist.” As if you weren’t trying to hide your blushing cheeks enough they surely came out now. 

Putting on the jacket, Aaron stood by your side as you walked up the small hill. When you reached the top there was a single bench looking over a sea of water. “I know it’s not much but this is where I tend to go when I need to think.” 

“Aaron this is- this is beautiful.” 

“I’m glad you agree.” He patted the bench, motioning for you to sit with him. The both of you sat in silence for a few moments just listening to the waves hitting the shoreline and the breeze causing leaves to fall from the tree and dance in the surrounding area. Small clouds were starting to roll over in the sky. In that moment you felt Aaron’s arm slide behind you, pulling you in a bit closer to him, his hand resting on your upper arm. As close as you were, you wanted to be closer, wanted to be snuggling with him but you didn’t put any pressure on it and just took the moment in to yourself, thankful that this was happening. “So is Jack with Jess tonight?” Aaron nodded in response. 

“He is. Had the house to myself was feeling lonely and even though it’s been a month since Haley has passed it still manages to bother me at times like tonight. I’m really glad you came with me.” He looked over his shoulder at you taking in your beauty and you did the same taking in how handsome he was. “Me too.” The two of you gazed into each others eyes searching for someone to make a move, you both leaned in simultaneously and your lips smashed together in an electrifying kiss. His lips were extremely soft, tasting of mint and had taken your breath away. Neither of your eyes had opened during the kiss. His free hand rested gently against your cheek deepening the kiss. At that moment little sprinkles landed on the top of your head but neither of you had a care in the world. When the kiss finally broke a part of the strong feelings you had for him came out. “Would you maybe want to stay with me tonight at my place?” His eyes glistened in the rain. “I’d love nothing more.” 

The night consisted of gentle spontaneous love making and you fell asleep in the arms of the man you had loved for so long more than anything, it was perfect.

He knew he had hit a nerve with your blank expression, but some part of him was just curious if you ever thought about it? “I um- I do but I try not to. No offense. It’s just I finally have moved past us and the future is looking great for me but Aaron you know I still-“

“I know, you don’t have to say it.” He spoke so gently and his face was of pure care and solidity. “I still do too.” His hand rested on yours for a few seconds as you both just sat in each others company. There was something about him that still had a hold of you, a place in your heart and just when you think you could replace it you have a moment like this with him. Every thing in you wanted to quit on the spot just so you could have him but you knew in your head that things don’t work out like that. He got up from his chair and offered to follow you home to ensure you make it there safely but you politely declined. That was when your phone rang. “Hi- Yeah I’m headed home I’ll be there in a bit- I miss you too- Okay- Bye.” Aaron wanted to ask who it was but he had no right to and he knew that so he let it be. “I will see you in the morning then?” You nodded before bidding each other goodbye once again. It shouldn’t but it felt like the first time, like you lost him again.

Arriving home you threw your keys onto the table and kissed your boyfriend whom was staying for the night he noticed the pained look on your face, the sadness that filled it. “Every thing okay babe? What’s wrong?” He took you into his arms as you cried, letting every thing out. You couldn’t love someone else the way you loved Aaron, this unexplainable connection you shared with him killed you after moments the two of you shared like tonight. If he had never brought up that night you would have been fine, but he did and here you were crying over Aaron Hotchner once again, just as you were getting back to life without him in it. You ended up telling your boyfriend it was the case you were on which wasn’t fair by any means, but as he drifted into sleep next to you, you couldn’t help but look at him and get upset. He wasn’t Aaron. No one was. That was when the night he broke it off entered into your mind.

“Y/N I’m your boss and we’re getting too close. I think it’s better that this is the last night we share together in this way. We need to stop.” It felt like a tidal of waves crashed into your heart and completely shattered it. All happiness in your face disappeared. This was the last thing you expected to happen tonight. 

You sulked in your seat, tracing your thumb around the salted rim of your glass. His eyes searched your facial expression, being a profiler you knew he was reading you like a book. His hand moved a strand of hair from your face, placing it behind your ear. “Please don’t be upset. We’ll still be close, and see each other at work but I think that’s where it should stay.” A scoff escaped your lips, shaking your head you grabbed your glass and finished off the remaining alcohol before aggressively setting it back down. 

“Yeah, well not as close as I’d like.” 

“ Y/N-“ 

“Just don’t.” When you stood up out of your chair you fell back a bit and the grip of Aaron’s hand was on your arm gently right away. “At least let me drive you home you can’t drive like this.” Putting your hand up you dismissed him completely. “I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning, boss.” Walking out of the restaurant the rain poured as if it knew how you were feeling. As soon as you were out the door away from him the tears flooded out as you walked to your car. How could he do this to you? All the dates, the phone calls, the photos, they were completely meaningless. You read him all wrong, this situation all wrong. You were head over heels in love with Aaron and you thought he felt the same. Reaching into your purse you retrieved the first keychain he had bought you, and threw it into a bush by the entrance. You wanted anything and everything that reminded you of him gone. The car ride home felt like it was never ending. The rain made it difficult to see and the only songs on the radio were depressing love songs about heartache. Walking into your apartment you tossed your keys onto the table before turning on the lights and setting the alarm. 

Making your way into your bedroom you glanced around the room, you thought to yourself how your never going to be graced with Aaron’s face or presence in it ever again. Falling into your bed you clutched your pillow tightly tears flowing out like an ocean while his side of the bed lay empty. A hole in your heart is all that you felt, you couldn’t even imagine having to see him at work tomorrow. You could just see yourself excusing yourself to go cry somewhere. You really thought he could be the one but all hope of that had vanished. The next morning your tear stained face made you look a mess your clothes were disheveled, hair a mess but you couldn’t find a care in the world. You wanted to walk into work and make him see what he did to you. The buzzing of your phone dragged you out of your thoughts. A voicemail notification from Aaron popped up. As much as your head told you not to listen to it your heart spoke differently. “Hi, I wanted to make sure you got home safely and that you’re doing okay. If you could let me know that’d be great but if not I’ll see you at work. I truly hope there’s no hard feelings Y/N. Well I guess that’s all goodbye.” How dare he, no hard feelings? Does he not realize how much he broke you? You wanted to throw your phone and cry again but you decided to keep yourself composed and get ready for work and head in. Of course Aaron ended up calling in because Jack got sick, and he did text you about it but you reluctantly responded with, “I don’t think we should text or call anymore about anything personal. Strictly work.” He hadn’t responded for hours and the day completely dragged out you couldn’t focus and the team took notice especially Emily and Spencer because they were the closest to you but you didn’t tell them anything about your situation just that you were having a bad day. They were understanding and said they would be there whenever you’re ready to talk about it. When you went home for the night digging for clean clothes you found one of Aaron’s work shirts in your hamper, it must have been the only one not washed because it still smelled exactly like him. As much as your head told you not to put it on your heart spoke differently. As soon as you slipped it on the tears began again and you just spent the night in your apartment alone, sulking, listening to sad music, watching sad movies, cooking dinner for one, yourself. Things were different and you hated it, your body hated it, and you barely knew how to function mentally, physically, and emotionally. Was there ever going to be an end to this pain?

Little did you know Aaron did follow you home to make sure you got there safely, you didn’t put any thought into the car following you because all your thoughts were about Aaron. He watched and made sure you got in the door but to his surprise a man opened the door and he was ready to get out of his car to come protect you until he stopped with his door halfway opened as he saw you kiss the man. You had moved on, but you were unaware of the fact that Aaron had gotten the papers for his two weeks and had broken up with Beth a week ago. That’s why he never answered how she was earlier because he hadn’t been talking to her. He couldn’t be upset but he was and it was completely selfish. So against his will he drove home, to an empty apartment like before and went to sleep in an empty bed, holding onto the memory of you being next to him as he cried and held onto a shirt you left at his apartment that he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of.

[the-yellow-birdy]

I come at this hour, only for you

AN: IM BACK, okay so your girl can't stop and she's incredibly indecisive, so forget the post from yesterday (except the recommendation of the other tumblr) and know that I have returned. Truly hope you will enjoy this L.O.L - Yellow bird

// 18+ audience only! - Heavy dom/sub dynamics - Dom!LarissaWeems x Sub!FemReader - BDSM - Power dynamics/Power play - consensual manipulation - Lesbian yearning - All characters are above the age of 18\\

Click clack, click clack.

The sound of your spool heels hitting the cobblestone floors, was penetrating your ears as you sauntered down the empty firelit halls. It aligned untempered with the beating of your heart, which was already on its way up your throat, trapping your breath, preventing you from deeply inhaling the cool air around you. The pencil skirt you wore, made it fairly difficult to walk at a fast pace, but it was probably for the best. Your hands were clamped with sweat and the white blouse you wore was already getting damp from your warm body and doing a small marathon right now would make your sweaty nervousness visible to anyone. To her. Merciless her.

The skirt could be seen as a bit inappropriate and you were starting to wonder if maybe you shouldn’t have worn it.

Or maybe you should.

What if she says something? Would she look? 

What if you want her to look.

Definitely not. You definitely don’t want her to look, she shouldn’t look. Surely she won’t look. Perhaps she will have stopped with these foolish games. Maybe she will like it and not say anything. 

Or maybe she won’t.

You were nearing her office taking a couple of deep breaths as you swiped your bangs out of your face, smoothing down your neat ponytail.

You’re gonna be fine. Just, calm down.

 It wasn’t unusual for you to be interrupted in the late evenings by Nevermores headmistress. Whenever your screen lit up as you sat comfortably in your bed about to succumb to sleep, you knew there was no protesting. Well maybe if you weren't so pliable there would be, but you being you, there was no displeasing Larissa Weems. 

But it was at night that things got…

Strange

—

One night she had called upon you as you were closing your eyes to the tv-screen in front of you, requesting your presents. It wasn’t the first time, and the appeal of staying in your bed was grand, but you had of course complied as the reliable secretary you were.

You always did.

She didn’t tell you why it was urgent, yet you expected some immediate reports or mails to be written and sent the following morning, calling you now simply as a favor to your busy schedule, giving you some time to write them. But you were far from right.

She had requested for you to make her tea.

Tea? At this hour?

You thought. But of course your thoughts and thinking didn’t have a lot of time in the company of the woman. So with a single tilt of her head you did as you were told standing in the middle of the beautifully crafted office, and made tea.

The act in itself was harmless and quite pure, actually. It wasn’t like you were already asleep when she texted you and was being completely unfair. You could still get home at a decent hour to get some sleep if you hurried.

“Take off your heels, and come pour me the tea.”, she had said, quietly reading a document in her hand, her reading glasses at the bridge of her nose. Only looking over to see if you had sat them neatly aside by the wall. You didn’t, she thought and looked back down at the paper.

You of course wondered about the demand of your heels, but again, not much time to contemplate when Larissa was awaiting you.

She had you stand by her side the entire night. Having you repeatedly pour her tea when her cup became empty. She had only allowed you to leave, when the tea got cold and you had to make a new brew. Not even a bathroom break was given.

You had definitely seen the benefit she gave you of leaving the heels behind. 

Oh, how kind she truly was to you.

As the night came to an end and the early hours of dawn were showing, small birds chirped outside the office window, your eyes had closed, pot in hand, and you were swaying in the morning lights as if in a trance.

A gentle hand on your hip had your eyes flew open, coming out of the hypnotizing calmness. You couldn't see them, yet you knew there were large gray bags under your eyes.

“Well done, dear.”, she had said, drawing lacy circles on your hip bone. You had no idea why you felt like crying when she smiled at you, but you held the tears back.

She had given you the day off to rest, yet expected you back the next morning with the new student reports.

—

Headmistress - Larissa Weems

You looked at the gold plate engraved into the big oakwood door. The expensive shiny gold against the plain dark wood was a contrast that could only be adored, as you knocked twice on the door.

“Ms. Weems, it’s me Y/n”, You almost didn’t hear her timid reply of you being allowed to enter over the thumping of your heavy heart beats.

Just calm down. Nothing is gonna happen. You can always stop it. She would never if you don’t want to. 

But what if you did?

You entered her office, seeing her tapping away at her computer in the distance. Not offering you a single glance as you made your way towards her desk.

You stood in front of her for a couple of minutes, waiting patiently for a sign, a breath, a nod, a clearing of her throat, anything. When she finally looked up at you, finishing her sentence with the final period, she said nothing as her eyes slid down over your exposed collarbones. They traveled further and further over your curves and creases. The subtle outlining of your visible breasts given the bra you had chosen, the skirt of which was far too short for a respectable woman such as yourself, and finally the almost see-through white button-up shirt tucked into it.

She said nothing. Only after seconds lasting what seemed like eternity, did she take her eyes away from you and down to her desk once more. The hairs on the back of your neck had settled again, yet the tingling feeling of a sugar rush in your veins remained.

She always gave you attention during the day. Walking past you desk with a smile and the occasional 

morning dear 

Or words of affirmation when your job had been executed without flaw.

What would become of me without you and your splendid work my darling? 

You lived for it, a single praise from the woman, could plant a stupid smile on your face the rest of the day. You truly were pathetic. You knew you did a good job and what you were capable of, so why did you crave her approval so deeply?

But when nights came around such as this one, she changed. 

She took a stack of papers on the edge of the mahogany table and stretched her arm towards you. Her tea, placed right next to it. She was now looking you in the eyes, ripping off your clothes and exposing your bare self to her, with just a look. Your cheeks burned and you knew she could see it.

“I would like you to go through these letters from the parents. And I'd be very pleased if you only hand them to me, assuming anything serious was to show.”, She had a shine to her eyes. The beautiful laugh lines around her mouth and eyes prominent in the glow of the fireplace. She was absolutely breathtaking. Terrifying. Fearless. Charming.  Warm, oh so warm. Cold. Beautiful.

Dominant

Mesmerized, you glared a second too long at her elegant hairdo, snapping your eyes to her face.

“Uhm, yes Ms. Weems. I-Is that everything?”confusion was visible on your face, she loved it. Is this it? No more games? No more long nights, no more stares or touching. No more awaiting atmospheres of what's to come, what she wants or does next, that erupts butterflies within your whole body?

“Yes. That would be everything, Ms. L/n”, She gave you only the tint of a smile as she redirected her attention to her screen once more after you took the papers, leaving you utterly dumbfounded.

“Yes Ms. Weems, goodnight”, she gave you a small goodnight as you made your way to the door. Eyebrows wrinkled and the feeling of fireworks in your veins dilapidating.

Was this it? no more?

The endless taunting, lessons, reprimandings and taut praises gone? It was as if your heart felt lighter, almost too light. As if something was fading and dissolving from it.

Your heartbeat fell into its normal, monotone rhythm. Maybe it was good. It surely was. All you had to do was leave and do your work. Simply take ahold of the door handle and…

A thud.

“Oh my, I’m quite the klutz. Would you mind helping me for a minute, my darling?”, her voice was calm, unnervingly calm as you listened to the woman behind you. It was sweet, bittersweet as she spoke the words in her thick accent. The hairs on the back of your neck had risen once more. Your heart, leaving its once peaceful rhythm.

You turned around. The principle was staring daggers at you, without having moved an inch from her spot. Eyes fixed on the price as her hand held onto the edge of the desk, head tilted slightly as she looked at you with a faux hopeful expression of your service. 

The now empty teacup laid on the expensive Agra rug. A dark patch of the liquid had formed on it as a result of the small accident.

“Come here.”, she straightened her head and morphed her expression back to one of seriousness. 

Click clack, click clack.

You came to stand in front of her again.

“Would you be a dear and clean the mess. I am terribly fond of this rug and I would hate to see it ruined by a simple cup of tea.”, she wetted her bottom lip, tongue sliding over the plumb flesh, leaving you with vivid imaginations and a horrible need to cover yourself in her expensive lipstick. She didn’t give you a smirk or even a hint of a smile, but the smugness, the eye contact and the feigning helplessness was drowning your mind.

“Yes.”

“Oh aren’t you too sweet.”

You timidly smiled at her, face lighting up in rosy colors at the exaggerated praise.

She blinked a couple of times, the kind features she displayed, coming to an end.

What do you do? Wait? Leave? Speak?

“On your knees, Y/n.”, It wasn’t mean nor a request, rather a polite demand. 

What? Knees? You won’t! There's no way you heard her right! Of course you heard her right, she’s insane. You’re insane. You shouldn't even be here at this hour, cleaning her mess, let alone on your knees as she feasted her eyes on you. You shouldn’t. Should you? 

Your mind was blinded by fog and uncertainty. But in the end you knew that when one eyebrow lifted slightly, eyes narrowed at your soul, there was no reason to resist. Like butter on a burning pan, your destiny was to melt.

Hypnotized, you got on your knees, putting the papers beside you. Your gaze not faltering from hers, seemingly kneeling in front of the dark spot, but in reality you were kneeling before an entirely different darkness.

Larissa’s breath raked, she had waited so long. She had too. There was no springing this on anyone. It had to be developed, a process of trust leading up to this exact moment, letting her know that her patience had paid off. You truly were hers. Look at you, such despair you showed, thinking she was gonna give you no more recognition. You were absolutely perfect, especially in this exact view with your skirt bunching so far up it covered nothing of your creamy thighs, and you didn't even notice.

“What are you waiting for, hm?”, She raised an eyebrow at you.

You blinked, “I have no cloth, Ms. Weems.”

She looked at your doe eyes, her body was about to give in. About to help you find a cloth, rip it off of you, providing you with the guidance you clearly needed in your state of haze. Tell you just how to do it, how to clean, how to sit, how to breathe, eat, look, dress, please.

Her eyes moved from your face to the white button-up. She could see the top of your pleasing breasts. How long until you’d beg her to simply brush a gloved hand across them, she thought.

She looked up at you once more, slowly trailing her eyes down onto the white fabric.

You looked at her with doubt, could it really be true. You needed to be sure. But deep down, you knew what she was asking. Demanding. 

I have no intentions of giving in to your puppy eyes, sweet girl.

You slowly grabbed the top button and freed it from its restraint. You looked down to see what you were doing, wanting it done properly and agile. You felt ashamed, bare, fragile, but at the same time the feeling of being free was the one dominating, making all the doubt disappear.

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, such a good girl

“Look at me.” Her voice dropped and she had shifted on her office chair, so that she sat right in front of you. Head to chest. Her hands had folded over her soft stomach, an elbow on the edge of the desk and elegant, pale, long legs crossed.

Blue orbs observed you, as you gradually revealed yourself more and more to your employer, the headmistress.

It’s wrong. You have to stop. 

When all the buttons had been freed you paused, she gave you a tiny nod of her head, the only sign you needed. You slowly took off your shirt and placed it in your lap, your eyes faltering slightly of a new found shame bubbling in the back of your mind. You must be looking incredibly silly.

Oh dear. You were doing it again.

Your lack of obedience didn’t pass the principle. What to do with you? She brought the tip of her stiletto to your face. She placed it under your chin, lifting it and making you look at her a second time.

Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou

Your mind went blank with only her as your epicenter. No idea of what to do, you simply looked up, mouth agape, baffled by her impotent behavior leading to the uncivilized act.

She looked so serene from this angle. Stoic. You were looking at her smooth calves, not able to look higher, the fabric of her skirt in the way. Dainty stockings protecting her skin from the cold, you, had to endure. Her elegant ankles, framed by elegant black heels. Flawless.

She was an angel. A devil disguised was probably the right answer. You never knew hell could taste, look, feel so sweet. And how could you deny it, when it was breathing you in right above you, like an addict. An addict fighting the urge to consume their drug, the thing bringing them simple, addictive ecstasy. Her eyes almost dazed and shoulders moving with her shallow breath.

Won’t be long now, my sweet

“Go on, darling.”, the touch of her smooth plastic heels left the skin of your neck.

There was only a millisecond of halting in your movements before you started soaking up the dark spot with your blouse. The white pious color, changing to one of light brown. You have to admit it was one of your more favorable shirts, but you didn’t object to any of it. You knew it would lead to nowhere.

The chilling air of the office, had goosebumps erupt on your arms and back, yet the glow of the fireplace gave you warmth in the coolness and made it almost refreshing.

Why did she like this? Watching you clean her floor. Naked. Sacrificing your favorite shirt, just for the sake of her rug. She must be ill. Really ill. But who are you to talk? After all, you are the one feeding it to her, giving in. moremoremoremore

You tried not to think about it, but a heat within your lower stomach was no longer a single burning match, it felt like flames were burning you up on the inside as you felt her gaze on you and nothing and no one could help, except the woman in front of you.

I know.

Larissa looked over your body. She had of course never seen this much of you, yet it wasn’t a lot she had seen of you before. How come you don’t show more of that beautifully freckled skin, maybe a bit more cleavage and collarbone. The only thing she really was able to vividly imagine at night, was your neck and how it bobbed with nervousness everytime you were in her presence. 

She didn’t worry too much about it at the moment. There would be time for changes later, but right now all that mattered was you.

youyouyou

Her fingers itched and tapped over each other in excitement. She couldn’t wait any longer. Maybe she could indulge, just this once. She was so desperate to caress and claim your skin. Oh how she desired you from the very first times she had spent with you. So full of life and curiosity that could surely kill the cat, which it did. Your passion for what you did, your hobbies, your future, others. Her. It sent her into a place of admiration no one ever had before, and now here you were. Right beneath her, half naked and the best part of it all, was that you loved it, just as much as she.

A firm hand reached for your chin. Disturbed from your ministries your head was turned. You were enraptured by her touch and your eyes closed with a whine from your throat. Her fingers pressed onto your cheeks, squeezing. You let go of the wet fabric and opened your eyes - crystallized lilly’s of the nile -

though it didn't seem to help much, as your vision was showing a thick fog, while everything seemed to move at lightspeed.

Click clack, click clack. Breathe, just breathe.

"Crawl."

________________________________

Can't find the taglist, my bad

[autisticlancemcclain]

prev

–––

Keith doesn’t sleep a wink the following night. He quickly packs a bunch of supplies into a pod, and then spends hours staring at the base's scanners, waiting for the castle to pop up. He doesn’t hesitate for even a second when it finally does, barely remembering to check in with Kolivan before speedily manoeuvring out of the base and into the castle’s waiting flight deck. 

As promised, the team is gathered there to meet him, clambering over each other to be the first to greet him when he walks out of the pod. It should be flattering, should make a pleased flush redden his skin from his neck to the roots of his hair. It’s everything he’s ever wanted; that kind of love, that kind of joyful acceptance, an excitement to see him. 

But he barely even notices. All of his attention is trained on the figure so far away from everyone else he’s practically shroud in shadows, stiff and stone-faced. Lance stands with a duffel clenched tightly in his fists, jacket zipped up to his neck and hood halfway pulled over his hair.

Everything he sees makes him want to fall over. He almost feels nauseous, and he’s not entirely sure why. Lance has his off-days, Keith knows this. There were days when Keith had to help Lance fight his way out of bed, and when he did the same for Keith. Keith has held him as he sobbed himself to pain on the observation deck floor. Keith has watched him get overwhelmed and mean and snappy and then guilty for days afterwards. 

But he’s never seen Lance like this. He’s never seen Lance…shrink, collapsing into himself so deeply, keep himself so distant. The closest thing he ever saw was when he came to Keith’s room talking about five lions and six paladins, about a seventh wheel.

I solved that problem, he thinks, increasingly desperate. Lance was backed into a corner so Keith threw himself out of the room to give him space. That was the point, that was the purpose, that is why he has stayed in a stupid grey bunk he hates and nodded blankly to masked people he’s not allowed to familiarise himself with and stubbornly refused to leave a man behind no matter how much trouble he gets in. 

He was supposed to have fixed things, and now everything has gotten worse.

“Keith!” Pidge screams the second he emerges from the door, sprinting at him and damn near tackling him to the floor. Despite himself and his dizzying confusion he smiles softly, squeezing her right back.

“Hey, Pigeon,” he says, and she must have really missed him because she doesn’t even deck him for it. 

“You need to call us more,” she grumbles at him, and he snorts and asks her how that holoprojector he asked her for is coming along. 

Before she can launch into yet another rant about how far from the realm of possibility that is, the rest of the team catches up to her, and this time he really does hit the floor. Luckily he lands sprawled on his brother, who only sighs fondly and flicks him on the forehead. 

“We’ve all missed you so much,” he says. “Not the same here without you, squirt.”

Because Keith has misses his brother, he refrains from turning around and throwing hands with him right in the hangar, because why would he call Keith that he’s a grown ass man, basically, not six, Shiro what the fuck. The team teases him anyway because they are the worst, but Keith rolls his eyes and takes it. Between Hunk’s bawling and Pidge’s snark and Allura’s hand gripped in his, Keith can almost pretend like he’s just back from a quick and risky errand, that everything is normal, that his family is just excited to see him and they’re gonna head off for dinner together in a few. The familiar foreignness of it all is almost settled around him like a heavy blanket.

Almost.

“I believe we have an exchange to get on with,” drawls a voice so pretentious it makes Keith recoil even before the cruelty of his words kick in. 

Lotor stands in the middle of the room like he’s centre fucking stage, hip cocked, inspecting his nails, casual and unbothered. A quick glance to the side confirms that Lance’s jaw has tightened at the comment, posture tensed further. Keith looks back to Lotor and wishes with his whole heart that he had laser eyes via Clark Kent so he could fucking obliterate him. He settles for intensely praying for his downfall to the universe, which isn’t enough but will have to be until Keith can sacrifice him for the greatest good or something.

An exchange. Like Lance is a fuckin’...low rate commodity, or something. 

Keith is honestly more disturbed by the fact that no one else seems to be terribly bothered by the comment. He wonders if he’s being too sensitive, if he’s reading into things, if his own hatred for Prince L’Oreal is clouding what could be a similar relationship to what Keith and Lance have, with all the insults and competitions.

The actual thought of that makes him physically gag. 

No, that’s not it. Keith is not mistaking the pain that is radiating off of Lance, the way the air itself in the castle feels wrong. 

“I’m ready to go if you are, Lance,” Keith calls, as softly as he can manage. Unfortunately it doesn’t manage to go far, and Lance only nods once, tightening the duffel over his shoulder and walking over. His steps are deliberate, at least, no downtrodden shuffling – there’s some stubbornness within him still. It’s better than nothing.

“Aw, no, already?” Hunk complains, sniffling. 

Despite the storm raging in Keith’s head, he manages a smile in Hunk’s direction, equally flattered and amused by the affection.

“We’ll be back, man,” Keith promises. “Mission is only supposed to take a few days. Maybe we’ll finish up early and I won’t tell Kolivan, huh, Lance? Spend a couple days here.”

He smiles as brightly as he can manage in Lance’s direction, receiving only a tight-lipped grimace in response, an attempt without the verve to follow through. 

“Yeah, sure.”

He gives the pile of teammates a wide berth as he climbs into the pod, disappearing quickly into the back. Keith tries to pretend his words weren’t sullied with bitterness.

It takes longer than he would like to finally bid everyone goodbye and crawl back into the pod, which he feels a little bad about. Both because he doesn’t want to feel like any interaction with his family is at all a burden, even a goodbye, and because he doesn’t want to keep Lance waiting. But he’s in a rough place right now, off-kilter and almost disoriented, so he cuts himself some slack, breathing deeply as he pulls out of the hangar and back into dead space. He puts the tiny but powerful thrusters up as high as they will go, zooming along at top speeds. He stays in the pilot’s chair, hand firmly on the yoke, until the castle is well out of view, until they are surrounded on all sides by endless darkness. Only then does he steel himself to put the pod on autopilot, to breathe deeply and turn around to face the oppressive awkwardness filling up the small space.

“Hey, Lance,” he says quietly, sitting gingerly on the floor in front of his seat. He’s relieved that Lance doesn’t straight up move away like he expected. He’s even more relieved to notice that Lance doesn’t tense up at his mere presence.

He barely acknowledges Keith past a nod of the head, though, which is depressing. Keith wants to ask another question, get more than a nod out of him so desperately it’s actually embarrassing, but he manages to restrain himself. He knows maybe better than anyone else what it feels like to be crowded by questions when you already feel like you’re suffocating. Keith will just have to wait for Lance, however long it takes.

Thankfully, he doesn’t wait very long.

“I didn’t get any details.” Lance’s voice startles Keith, not because he isn’t expecting it – all he’s been doing is waiting for Lance to talk – but because it’s nothing like he expects. His voice is almost normal, not strained hoarse or even bitter like it was earlier. If Keith squeezes his eyes shut and pretends the last several months didn’t happen, he can almost convince himself that he and Lance are sitting at the briefing room table late at night, heads bent together, trying to iron out a plan for their upcoming mission. He wants that back so badly he aches with it, but the ache is familiar enough now that he thinks he can bear it.

“It’s, uh, a quintessence hunt,” Keith explains. “Or, well, kind of. Hopefully. Kolivan gives a lot of details at once and he speaks in this super depressing monotone and I swear to God I do everything I can to pay attention but at some point it just sounds like the teacher in Charlie Brown. So. That’s my bad.”

He has to force air back into his lungs by the end of it and he’s red in the face to boot. That’s maybe the most words he’s ever spoken in one go (hyperbole whatever let him live) and of course he sounds like the biggest dweeb. Why hasn’t becoming a super cool space ninja made him more aloof and mysterious? This isn’t fair. What happened to gay rights.

To his great surprise, his dorky ramble is rewarded by a flash of Lance’s smile, so brief he would have convinced himself he imagined it if he hadn’t spent so much of his life seeking it out. It’s gone faster than it existed, Lance’s expression falling back into something carefully blank, but the fact that it was there at all is the biggest relief.

Lance takes the tablet Keith hands to him, mission file pulled up and ready to go. He squints slightly as he reads it, tilting his head to the side. “We have to go through…wait, Keith, is this right?” He flips the tablet over to Keith, zoomed in on a pair of coordinates. “This is, like, right next to a black hole. RIght right next to, worryingly next to. I don’t like how close this is. This pod is not really built for that, I don’t think.”

Keith doesn’t recognise the coordinates, so he can’t really say, but there’s a fair bit riding on this mission, so he doubts Kolivan has fucked this particular detail up. 

“Well, it’s either safe or no longer our problem.”

“I suppose.”

A little disappointed that Keith’s attempt at a joke didn’t do much to lighten Lance’s expression, he lets them lapse into silence, tilting his head back onto the seat and closing his eyes as the pod zooms forwards. 

They have a long journey ahead of them.

–––

next

[vrisrezis]

Comfort with atsv characters <3

Warnings?: reader is Latino/Latina, reader is a spider person, can you tell I wrote this at like 2 AM? (Spoilers for atsv). Is it obvious I don’t read the comics based off of hobie and pav? Also all the spiders are able to understand Spanish so 👍🏾 reader is hinted to be bisexual in Peter B’s (they also cannot have children), reader isn’t gendered but in Jessica’s they certainly are not a male,

Gwen is quiet, but you allow it. Miguel didn’t tell you much of what happened in Gwen’s dimension, but it clearly bothered her, whatever it was. It was just one of those very nights where she was bothered about her situation. She didn’t ever talk about it, rather she just sat in silence for awhile and then you’d make her some tea in hopes of easing any nerves or pain. She felt bad crashing at your place all the time like this, so much so she tried bothering hobie every once in awhile so that her staying at your home wasn’t as constant. You tried to remind her that this is what partners do, they look out for eachother when they need it the most. Staying at eachothers places when one of them is pretty much homeless is included in that.

Honestly though? Selfishly she enjoyed it. Maybe it was because she simply enjoyed your company, or because you were sweet enough to let her share a bed with you and she got to watch you sleep. She got to see all your features up close in your most peaceful moments. But of course, she missed her home. She missed her dad. She missed when things didn’t suck. She missed Peter too.

You’re both on the roof of your house. She’s thinking about things, deeply. She thinks about her life, her place in the world, She almost starts to cry, but she’s still holding back, holding back as much as she possibly can right now. It’s the first time you see her like this, and you feel relieved. You’re relieved because you know she’s been going through so much, but has been trying so hard to keep it inside.

“Mi amor, por favor, no reprimas tus sentimientos. Está bien llorar, somos tú y yo.” you say, putting your hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Not wanting to be too intimate in case she became uncomfortable in such a state. But you don’t have to worry as she grabs the hand on her shoulder and intertwines your fingers.

She finally allows her tears to flow. More then flow, they stream down like a ocean of tears. In the midst of it, she hugs you and you hug her back. Pulling her into your chest and she can’t help but feel safe in your arms.

“I’m so sorry.” she says in between sobs

“Don’t be. Te Amo. I will always be here for you, yknow? No need to hold back for me.”

Miles puts his head on your shoulder. He’s quiet, and unsure what he should say next. But you don’t say anything, and you decide he should be the one to speak first. He wraps his arms around your middle, and you change positions so his cheek is smushed on your chest now, your arms wrap around his waist. You could fall asleep like this, but you’re determined to stay up until miles tells you what’s on his mind. Even if you already know, he should let it out and talk about it. He always ends up telling you what’s bothering him, he’s practically an open book. At least in your mind, though you do suppose he is good at keeping secrets from others. Not the point though, you were there when it all transpired. You know what he’s upset about.

“How are we gonna get home?” miles finally asks, confirming your suspicions. He truly had no idea what he was doing, and what either of you were going to do. You’re both stuck in the wrong dimension with no way to get home. “How am I gonna save my dad?” he wonders aloud. You’re not sure yourself, you opt for one of your hands reaching for his back and rubbing his back in a circular motion as a means to comfort him.

“I don’t know.” you admit, but you continue before he could say anything, “but what I do know, is that you can do anything. Even the impossible. Eres el hombre más increíble que conozco. You’ll figure it out.”

miles shakily sighs, “I don’t know.” he says, so unsure of himself. “You don’t have to.” you say, “give yourself a moment. Recollect yourself. Cry if you need. Te protegeré.”

He truly doesn’t know how to thank you for everything you’ve done for him, continue to do for him. The support and love you’ve always given him, the advice you’ve given him, he knows there’s truly nobody quite like you.

There’s a moment of silence between you and hobie. While this wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence when the two of you just chilling out, this time felt very different. Instead of a rather calm and tired expression at this time of night he seemed so defeated, though that tiredness seemed more like exhaustion. And you come to the conclusion a canon event had to have happened for him to wear such a sad expression. It was only recently he had taken upon the role as spiderman in his dimension, or as everyone called him, spiderpunk. You know the whole spider thing is new to him, how stressful it can be to be on your own like this. You’ve been there too, and not that long ago. In your dimension you’ve only been a spider person for a couple months.

You stand up from your place on the couch, walking up to him. You want to feign surprise, not knowing what’s happening. But you know. And you know that he knows, as he always does. Spider people typically aren’t good at lying. “You know, dontcha.” he simple says, voice rather quiet for somebody like him. “Yeah.” you eventually say, “it happens to all of us.” you admit. “For Miguel it was his wife, his daughter. For Peter it was his uncle. For me it was my mother. This is just.. part of the course.” you say, as if it’s just something to shrug off. Hobie can’t help but feel sick to his stomach upon you doing that, cause it doesn’t feel like the you he knows. The you he knows wouldn’t stand for some… cycle, some faux destiny. It’s not like you to just give up and treat something like this as just… it.

But he’s too upset to press you about it, so he rests his forehead on your shoulder and no longer says any words. You wrap your arms around him in an embrace and he allows it. “I know you probably have a lot of questions.” you say, and he’s always taken aback at how you’re the only person he’s ever met that can read him like a book. Then again, spider people are not good liars.

“For now, what I’ll tell you is this.” you start, “you’re going to lose people. It’s going to happen if you continue this line of work. The hard lesson to learn about this job is that we can’t save everyone. At least, not alone.” you continue, “but together, we can.” you say, and upon these words he feels a bit more relieved that you hadn’t fallen down some algorithm. You haven’t given up nor are you falling in line with some dumbass rules Miguel has set up.

“I can’t exactly provide you the best advice.” you admit, “pero siempre estaré aquí apoyándote. Puedes contar con ello.” you say, and hobie smiles for the first time that day.

Pavitr has never been like this, but it’s to be expected. At least, in your mind.

He clutches you like a lifeline, and if it weren’t for your super amazing spider strength you think you’d be in a ton of pain right now with the way pav is holding onto you.

You’re not even the one that nearly died. Pav nearly lost his best friend, gayatri as well as her father who also seemed to mean a lot to him. You don’t know much about him and singhs relationship, but you know it’s rather complex. Pretty hard on Pav and his friendship with his daughter, assuming they have a romantic relationship or something along the line. But this very man seems to adore Spider-Man. So naturally, complicated. But didn’t change the fact he meant a lot to Pavitr. He almost lost him. He almost lost two important people in his life. And if he almost lost them, could he have lost you?

He tries to reason with himself, you’re strong and can handle yourself fine but what if…?

“¡Basta!” you say, and it’s the first time he’s ever heard you yell at him. Because of this it’s quick to snap him out of the daze he seemed to be in. He can’t help but let a few tears slip out. You put your hands on his cheeks, worry seeping through your eyes. “Odio cuando haces eso. No me va a pasar nada, cariño. Puedo protegerme así que no te atrevas a preocuparte por mí.”

You wipe away his tears with your thumbs. “Mi amor, we’re gonna be okay.”

Peter sighs, and from that moment you know somethings wrong. You’ve known this Peter in particular a long time, there’s something obviously weighing on him. It certainly helps you’ve gotten to know so many versions of him, so many peters and so many of them are horrible liars. He is no exception.

You can’t help but wonder if it’s MJ related, which tugs are your heartstrings a bit. But you understand him, he lost his love. His first love in fact, and he’s not willing to let her go. You understand. You remember your first love, Gwen. Just a pretty blonde in your science class, but you fell hard. And so did she. To her death, that is.

You sit next to him on the balcony, “wanna talk about it?” you offer, and he can’t help the sigh that escapes him. “I don’t know.” he admits, but as soon as he says that he feels himself leaning on you.

“Have you ever thought of becoming a parent?” he asks, and you can’t help but be surprised by his question.

Now it’s your turn to sigh. “Yeah, I suppose.” you shrug, “not that I’d be able to have one, but yeah.”

“Really?” he wonders, and you nod. “Both me and Gwen, at least in my dimension, were physically unable to have kids. The same went for me and my own Peter.” you shrug, “not that I was interested at the time though. It’s moreso a ‘what if I could’ situation.”

“I want a kid.” he admits.

“So did MJ, and she still wants a kid.”

You feel your heart sink for a moment, before deciding it was his time of need, not yours. You’re both far too old for shit like this. You’ll move on. Like you always do.

“I could give her what she wants.” he continues.

“But I don’t know if… I can? I guess?”

“What do you mean?” You inquire.

“It’s a lot of things. I mean, what if I’m a bad dad? What if I’m not there enough? And besides that point, even if I do go through with this, the kid would have to deal with having parents that aren’t even together.”

It takes a minute for you to process his words, especially the last part. “Wait… why wouldn’t you two be together?” he shrugs, “because she deserves better.” he says, but it doesn’t seem like the full truth. “And besides I wanna be with somebody else.”

He tries to be subtle with his next words, “they can’t have kids, so I think this is a next best option. At least, when I’m ready and they’re ready and we’ve been dating long enough where it wouldn’t be weird to ask.”

You can’t help but wonder if it’s you he’s talking about.

But for the time being, you ignore it and put an arm around his shoulder, “Pues deja de preocuparte. Serías un gran padre.”

he cracks a smile and thanks you.

Jessica is always well put together, it’s something you’ve always known about her. But there’s something off about her.

You think you know what’s up, but you know better than to think you know everything going on with Jess. She’s not exactly an open book, only is when she wants to be.

She kept a lot of her personal life away from you, as a means to protect you from that. Either that or she wanted her privacy, which you also understood.

It wasn’t uncommon for her to touch her stomach, admire it, the excitement of a new life was adorable in your eyes. But her relationship with her husband was something she never relayed to you, she never talked about him and if she ever did it was briefly. A part of you wondered if it was because she knew how you felt and wanted to spare you. A part of you hoped that was all it was, and that there was nothing else going on.

But you’d be wrong, as you often were.

She lets a few tears shed, and it’s the first time you’ve seen her cry.

“I don’t think I love him anymore.” she finally admits, and you have a feeling it’s the first time she’s admitted this to anyone, even herself.

“I don’t think I ever did.”

“I don’t even think I like men, period.”

And this puts you into a even bigger state of shock, woah.

“I think I just wanted a baby.” she continues, “and it didn’t matter who it was with as long as I got one.”

“I thought, it was because I loved him so much I wanted to start a family but…” she turns her head away from you, “I don’t think I ever felt a damn thing for him and I’m scared and I feel so guilty.”

All you can do is wrap a comforting arm around her,

“No pasa nada. Siempre estaré aquí Jessica, lo sabes. Podemos resolver las cosas juntos.”

she leans into you despite her mind telling her to pull away, don’t be soft, don’t give in.

But she does.

She gives in to her deepest desire.

She gives into you.

Miguel is never this clingy. Something is wrong, and you feel it. It’s not just his aura, it’s his body language. It’s the fact that his face is shoved into your stomach, desperate for you to not only not hear him at all, but not see him. You feel his sorrow, his shame, his guilt, his anguish. But most of all you feel his regret and his grief and you automatically know what’s wrong.

You run your fingers through his hair, something he normally hated but in times like these truly loved more than anything and it calmed him down so quickly. He still doesn’t know how you do it, honestly. You make him putty in his hands without even trying and honestly that terrified him. To be so weak, so soft, when it comes to you.

“Vamos, cariño.” you say, “let me see you.”

He’s not quick to comply, but he eventually does with enough head scratching. You sigh at how distraught he looks. You hate this, you really do. You hate seeing him upset, that one injury of yours could send him spiraling like this.

“No voy a morir tan fácilmente, sabes. Ten un poco de fe en mí, ¿quieres?”

“Lo sé.” he replies, shakily.

“I’m just scared of losing you too.”

You kiss the crown of his head, “I know. But trust me when I say a little injury is not going to kill me. I’ll be okay.” you try to reassure him.

He nods, but you have a feeling he doesn’t believe you.

Even after all these years, you don’t know how to help him.

[eurydicesflower]

speak now (lty)

Pairing: Taeyong (NCT) x Reader Tags: Royalty AU, Arranged Marriage Warnings: None Word Count: 10.4 k Summary: Nothing had seemed to prepare you for this moment when you realize you were standing in the middle of a wedding. It is not something you had planned inside your mind, but here you are. A/N: This was posted a month earlier on AO3, and I keep on forgetting I should post this here as well 😭 Also, this was supposed to be part of my entries for ficwip 5 k challenge but I got carried away. Anyways don't forget, FACT CHECK on OCT. 6!!!!!! Also posted on: Archive of Our Own

Nothing had seemed to prepare you for this moment since this is not something that you had planned inside your mind. Days before the wedding day, this only slipped inside your mind, but you never wanted to make this real but today, you are in the middle of the aisle, dressed in your pretend baker clothes— why you were dressed like that was not the main point— because right now, the wedding guests are peering, and waiting for you to speak whilst the blushing bride and the handsome groom stand there expectantly, a surprised look painted in their faces especially from the bride.

“What are you waiting for? Speak now— are you against this wedding?” The preacher asked you, snapping you back from reality.

So, what really had happened before this? How did you find your way all the way to a wedding uninvited? Because honestly you are not that type of person who would just barge in a white veil occasion without logical reason. 

So, for starters: the ballroom is not as memorable as you thought it was.  

The time where you two were dancing all alone was the day you have said you were deeply enamored towards the prince; he has his pretty smile and his brown velvet eyes boring in your own eyes, and the soft chuckle from your lips as he almost tripped on his feet which was merely intentional. The prince was well-versed with dancing, he only wanted to see you smile that night. He matched your joyful smile you had that night with an enamored grin. That night felt so wonderful, the butterflies inside your stomach could burst out with giddiness and flutter around the ballroom, soaring, but the difference was that instead, locusts might be the one bursting out because as of the moment, instead of you dancing with him, he was out in the ballroom dancing with the woman he was about to be married with. 

Oh, how you missed that feeling instead of the green-eyed monster eating all of your insides. 

Do you think he had said the same words he had whispered in your ear? Does she also get those warm and fuzzy feelings inside her chest as he says all those words? 

Maybe your mother was right. Men are the same. They always know how to make a woman swoon, no matter who and where they are. Because how in the heavens he was dancing with the woman when you caught his eyes focused solely on you. Not to indulge with your delusions, but you genuinely feel so bad for the lady. Yet of course, you love this attention that he was giving you in spite of it all.

Stolen glances, and longing stares in the ballroom should not be as hard as this. You had done this before and yet, the feeling of loving someone who wasn't destined to be yours crushing your soul as deep as the pits of the underworld. You should have known of this yet you still yearn to this day that you should love someone without the scornful looks from the public's eye. How could you even live and give in with secrecy?

The number one gossip you had remembered from one of the servants was that: The princes are not allowed to marry anyone below their status, and if they do, they are a disgrace to this kingdom, the One-to-Seventh of the Southern Mountain province. The conservative values that were instilled centuries ago were still preserved until the present times. Since then, no one has dared to defy those traditions except there were a lot of royal families in the province who had not taken part of the traditions. Take for example the Prince of Evening Cross Outlands, Prince Chen. The public had only known of his private affairs after one of the stewards had announced his wedding. Of course, the people were angry, a lot of the women who were head-over-heels were angry at him. And yet, the marriage went on. 

Thinking of that, the old servant lady who had relayed you the gossip might be shocked if he knew the prince of your kingdom is a rebel to their traditional values. He had not yet caught because he moves so quietly like a feline in the shadows. All of your hidden meetings were always calculated. Not one soul in the palace should know about it or else... Who knows what fate you could have? 

Besides, while you two aren't caught, yet , you two have the pettiest of excuses, and people would believe it all.

“Your highness, you wanted to see me?”

The prince’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw you in the room. Composing himself, he firmly nodded at you. 

“I am in dire need of assistance for this book I was reading, and I need your help, Miss Librarian.” 

A mischievous look in his eyes were only seen by your own while his loyal servant was too oblivious to know what he meant.

“Of course, follow me, your highness.” You stifled the giggle you had.

A soft chuckle left out of your lips as soon as you left the vicinity with the prince. There were soft kisses turned to heated moans as soon as you were led to his own chambers. Although you loved loving him in secret not until you slowly fell into his grace, there is that one morning when you woke up, you prop your arm to see him, peacefully sleeping beside you. How you wish one day you won’t be living like this behind the walls. How you wish you would never feel an afterthought, and will be permanently engraved in his heart and be shouted proudly around the kingdom. As selfish as it seems, you already knew that it might not happen unless the divines above would grant your wish.

“Do you really love me?” You then whispered as you traced his cheeks with your fingertip. You sighed deeply before you dressed up, and left his chambers quietly. You start to think what if the prince actually loves you but you wonder if that love you thought was real and not just a pastime during the night. You wonder if he would be like the prince of the neighboring kingdom, would Taeyong do the same for you?

“May I have this dance, milady?” Someone asked before you, snapping out of your trance. You almost jumped from your seat when you were surprised to see the General of the Green Knights was right here in front of you, dashing with his suit, and his styled hair.

“Oh, Sir John… you really don’t have to, I am fine in my seat, watching the party on the sidelines.”

The knight raised a brow and furrowed his brows as he looked you up and down.  

“You were dressed so elegantly suited for the ballroom, milady, but you quite have the long face. What had troubled you to sulk in the corner? Was it because of a troubling, young prince—?” 

You almost stood from your seat and swatted your hand fan on his arm, however, as scandalous and playful as it were, you decided to hold that thought. John was right. After all, John was one of your friends who you consider would not share your secrets to anyone. You even wanted to ask if John could read your mind, and know what is going inside your head, but you brushed that thought.

“Stop teasing, John. And do not address me like I am a noblewoman.” There was this cat-like smile on his lips as he watched you.

“I can stop addressing you ‘milady’ if you accept my request to dance with you, milady .” He keeps on teasing you until you eventually give in and extend your hand with a playful roll of your eyes. 

“Milord.”  You curtsied with a roll of your eyes.

“Milady.” He kissed the back of your palm before taking your hand. You ignore the fluttering feeling inside your chest which in your defense, John had done a lot of times but everytime he did it, it was an effective heart shaker. 

As John walked you in the middle of the dance floor, you could feel all the eyes staring through you. Murmurs from different ladies were heard behind your back. In spite of it all, you ignored them except for one prying eye— the young prince. You can ignore all the gossip that surrounds you as you dance with the dashing knight, however, what trickled up your spine was that the prince was preying on you like a hawk. 

“You seemed distracted, milady.”

“I am fine, John.”

“Fine? You mean you are seeing how Prince Taeyong was looking at you right now?” He smirked.

“Let's just dance, okay?” You then led him into a waltz in the middle of the ballroom. 

The orchestra played in a waltz where it opens where it starts sweet, and as mellow as the ocean waves, until your bodies sway like the currents. All the people were mesmerized at the way the two of you were dominating the dance floor. The ladies had their jaws on the floor as they watched you. You are not the quite the dancer you were, but you had a great mentor, Seulgi, and thanks to her, you can show how you gracefully dance with a beautiful man. You both successfully caught the attention of everyone including the person you wanted to impress the most. Applause was heard as soon as you two finished dancing. You and John took a bow, and smiled at each other

“Milady, that was an eye-catching performance, or may I say you are a show-stunner.” You were stunned as soon as you lifted up your head and saw the one who complimented you.

“Your highness, it is a pleasure!” You curtsied quickly at him, hiding your flushed face from the prince.

'Get it together!' You screamed internally.

“I must say she was a good dancer as well as you, sir John. You did well.” The woman beside Prince Taeyong was Lady Gwendolyn, his soon-to-be wife. 

The music started once again, and yet another round for dancing in the ballroom commenced. 

You and John excused yourselves away from the royal couple. When you were about to step on the grand staircase, you forgot to bring your hand fan with you so you told John he should go first before you. As you look around for your hand fan from where you last seated, it wasn't there. You were about to give up and head back to your quarters when you spotted a familiar figure in the corridors, holding the same fan you were holding earlier. 

“Your highness, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Lady Gwendolyn?” 

“Lady Wendy says she was tired from all the dancing so I was out here, waiting for the owner of this hand fan to come back.”

“Oh, why thank you, your highness, I can now go back to my quarters, then.” You ignore his given nickname for the noblewoman. 

You were about to take it from his hand and yet he didn't give it to you, raising the hand fan above his head. He did it as if he was playing a game with you. You sighed defeatedly as you looked at him. 

“Your highness, I can't do this right now, we might get caught.” You said in a hushed tone.

“Oh, but when you were out with John, it was like you were tearing each other's clothes out in public. And, oh, the way you were looking into his eyes? What was that?” He sighed exasperatedly as his eyes darted out away from yours while his ears were turning red. And that's when it hits you.

“You're jealous? You're jealous of John?” You wouldn't believe what was happening right now, and good thing, there were no people around you who could witness this. You were holding your laugh out the way he is embarrassed and pouting right in front of you, you were so lucky to witness it and call him yours at first before he marries somebody else.

He was about to open his mouth for a witty retort, but he closed his mouth and sighed defeatedly. 

“Forget it, meet me back in my chambers, and we'll talk about this, Miss Librarian .” He gave your hand fan to you before he would be teased to death in the middle of the palace's open corridors.

…

Taeyong stays silent as he gazes up at the ceiling as you rest your head on his chest. You didn’t engage with your usual frolicking with the prince tonight, instead, you only wanted to feel his warmth even if it meant to be the last time you will be wrapped around his arms.

“You will be marrying Lady Gwendolyn of House Song next month… I don't think we should continue this anymore, Yong...” Muttering his nickname was not meant for this sad feeling lingering on your chest. You can’t even look him straight in the eye because you already knew that this day would come. Although you wanted what they called the 'happy ever-after' like the old tales of princes and princesses, you remembered that all of those were only myths and not meant for someone like a commoner like you. You don’t want to tarnish the prince’s reputation after all.

“But don’t worry you can still visit me in the royal library, and we can still be friends even after this you know—”

“I don’t want this to stop…” This time, Taeyong drops down his gaze to meet your eyes, and caresses your cheek so that you can look at him. 

“I know I sound foolish right now, and I know my ancestors would be rising from their graves right now if I attempted this one thing: loving someone like you. But I will promise you that I will never, ever, love anyone, even Lady Gwendolyn, but you. I know my engagement with Lady Gwendolyn has been already set in stone even when we were children and yet…” He took your hand in his own and kissed it before laying it down on his chest, having you feel the beat of his own heart. “I do admit that I am as uncertain with you for what's to come, but I am willing to commit, to the point of no return, bearing you my soul and my life, that I am bound to love you till the end.”

“Taeyong…” You were teary-eyed when he uttered those words to you. “I hope you are being true to your words, because I do not just simply give in with sweet words, Yong...” You tease him as you trace your hands on his chest.

“I know you, but you were here with me right now and I thank you for that, my love.” Taeyong chuckles softly as he resumes leaving small kisses on your wrist. 

“Yong…”

“Yes?”

“I love you…”

He smiles and kisses your temple. “I love you, too…”

Silence befalls between the two of you. You watch his breathing carefully, and trace your hand on his chest. 

“If you don't mind me asking, does Lady Gwendolyn already have suspicions about us?”

Taeyong falls silent for a moment. He sighs deeply and shakes his head with a smile. 

“I don't think Lady Wendy would find out about our relationship but if she did, I won't let her harm you… I promise you that.” He kisses your temple softly, and you match his smile with a breath of relief. 

Oh, you just wished you could just stay in his arms more than you wished for because the next day, you came unprepared. 

There was a small banquet in the palace hosted by none other than Lady Gwendolyn. You were staying silent from the farthest seat from the noblewoman, but of course,

“Oh, our lovely guest, the Miss Librarian, what do you think about my dress?”

You don’t know how or why, but you don’t seem to like the aura Lady Gwendolyn gives off. Yes, she seems nice with the way you had conversed with her the past few weeks since the engagement was announced, but the more the wedding comes closer, Lady Gwendolyn is slowly giving off some wicked vibes. Maybe it’s just your problem, so you just brush it off.

“Your dress looks good on you, Lady Gwendolyn and it does suit you well.”

“Of course, the royal tailor was the one who was assigned to cater to my tastes! And soon enough, when I get to be wed with the prince, I will lavish myself with everything the royal palace has to offer!”

“Speaking of Prince Taeyong, my what a pretty couple you are!” One of the lady-in-waitings, Giselle, compliments.

The lady of the hour giggles behind her hand. 

“I know right, however there is one problem… There is this that bothers me when I am with the prince…” 

“Tell us, Lady Gwendolyn!”

“Don’t be afraid to tell us!”

“What was it?”

“Don’t tell this to anyone but… I heard that the prince unfortunately had his heart on someone else that's why he remains distant to me.”

A wonderful heated gossip caused exaggerated gasps from the mouths of the ladies except from you. Lady Gwendolyn’s eyes deeply seep through you. Deep inside the back of your mind, you know she was talking about you but maybe it was just you. 

“Miss Librarian, are there any problems with that? Why didn’t you seem surprised about this?”

Were you that obvious? What face did you make in front of the women?

“I don’t get what you mean, Lady Gwendolyn, I’m pretty sure I am as surprised as Lady Aeri and Ning here.”

“Oh, anyway. As I was saying, Prince Taeyong had his heart on someone else. And I am quite nervous, girls. It seems he likes this cunning snake! What should I do?” The woman whined exaggeratedly as she wiped her eyes. 

“Don’t invite that, snake!”

“Prince Taeyong shouldn’t fall in love with a snake!”

“What about you, Ms. Librarian? Don’t you have anything to say?”

“I just say don’t invite whoever that is, Lady Gwendolyn.”

"Thank you for your input because I will do what you'll say, ladies."

You don’t want to jump to any conclusions when Lady Gwendolyn grins at you. You don’t want to paint her as a villain inside your mind. Maybe it was just you, but you definitely do not like the way she grins at you.

…

Later that afternoon, you went back to your work in the library like nothing happened. You were listing the things that you needed to stock for the library. Sometimes you head town with Donghyuck but since John insisted on assisting you, Donghyuck will be staying here so that he can attend his library duties.

“Miss Librarian?”

Oh… Lady Gwendolyn. Why was she here? You wondered as you eye the noblewoman walking around all by herself. Her lady-in-waiting wasn’t around following her for some reason, and the banquet had ended hours ago! Why would she want to meet you here once more? What was she up to?

“Good afternoon, Lady Gwendolyn. What are you doing here? Do you need any books to borrow? I can get it personally for you.” Donghyuck greeted her with a smile yet the noblewoman eyed him from head-to-toe and brushed him off so that she could get to your table.  

“I don’t need your help. Can you leave me alone with her?” She told Donghyuck when she had her back turned from him. Poor Donghyuck scurried away from the library, leaving you and Lady Gwendolyn in one room.

“Do you need to borrow some books, Lady Gwendolyn?” You asked, still as polite as possible.

“That is not what I am after, miss librarian.” She said with a hint of distaste. “You should be thanking me because I am too nice not to out you as the town whore during my banquet earlier.”

“Excuse me? How dare you—?!”

“I already know what you did so no need to defend yourself.” She raised her hand in the air, interrupting you in mid-sentence. “I already know about your secret affair with the prince and I knew about what happened last night. How long have you been entangling with my soon-to-be husband? You should be ashamed of yourself and stop pretending you're pure like everyone believes you to be!” 

You wanted to defend yourself. You wanted to yell at her and tell the truth that it was long before she and the Prince had been together. She may be engaged with him, but the Prince loves you, but you can't seem to move your lips nor open your mouth to speak against the ruthless noblewoman.

“The prince was already engaged to me, don’t you see?” She showed her ring to you. “Yet you acted like a brothel whore. I really don’t know why Prince Taeyong still wants you even after all this time when he and I were already engaged since we were both children. So, stay away from him, do you understand?”

You don’t know what you should do during that moment. Cry? No, you can’t, she’ll just taunt you even more. Scream at her? You will be causing a commotion and you know Lady Gwendolyn’s power. So, instead, you just chose to stay silent and nod your head.

She rolled her eyes at you and scoffed.

“You can act pretending you understand what I meant, but I am giving you a forewarning, librarian. The prince will know how to love me eventually but you? You will stay miserable till you age in the end knowing the prince DID love you, but, what did he do to his little whore? He didn’t choose you in the end.” She snickered at you with a smile before she left your station.

“Oh, before I leave, you can do everything that you want before this wedding, but you will never be the one smiling in the end. Hope you enjoy watching the wedding, because you won’t— Since you said it yourself that a cunning snake shouldn’t be invited.” She tossed the crumpled invitation to your table and bid a 'sincere' goodbye to you as if she didn’t humiliate your whole being.

You tried to salvage what was left of the crumpled invitation on your desk. Your name was crossed out multiple times yet, you saw even with a small glimpse of how your name was written delicately with the intricate design mixed with flowers. You held back the tears that were attempting to stream down your cheeks when you saw Donghyuck come back once Lady Gwendolyn exited the library.

“That Gwendolyn sure is something . I don’t know what her problem was but I really sense Prince Taeyong would have a hard time living with her! She is not a good fit for a queen!” He wasn’t paying attention to you when you were wiping away the stray tears in your eyes.

“Did she say anything absurd to you, ma’am?”

You raised your head as soon as you were done wiping your tears.

“To me? Oh, she was being nice to me actually.” You smiled, distracting yourself by organizing the papers that do not need  any fixing.

“I just hope Prince Taeyong could change his mind and not marry that woman because I know that there will be chaos once she steps in the palace, and lives here. Don’t you think, ma’am?”

“Well, let’s see what the prince can do.” You smiled despite the fact that you knew that there is only a small chance of that happening if one engagement is already set in stone but in the back of your mind, you wished he would choose the right decision  and not choose the former.

-

“You’re not invited?”

John asked you as the two of you took a stroll down the town streets. You decided to take a break by doing errands away from the library. Besides you need to stock up on some materials in the royal library and you are the one who knows the materials you need. Although usually it was Donghyuck who did these errands, since you wanted to take a break, and John just happened to be staying at the palace indefinitely, you are now away from the palace and from your thoughts.

“Like why of all the people in the palace, the royal head librarian wasn’t invited at all? Does it make sense? The royal librarian who happened to be one of the closest friends to the prince wasn’t invited! Did something happen? Did Taeyong exclude you?”

“Oh, God, no, it wasn’t his fault. I guess the guests were already full, so I don’t think whoever is the wedding planner might have seen a reason why they would invite me.”

“But your assistant, Donghyuck, will be present. But you aren't? Think about it! Maybe someone just misplaced your invitation or maybe someone messed it up. Don’t tell me… Was it Lady Gwendolyn, wasn’t it?” John frowned. 

There go your tears forming in your eyes when you remembered what happened earlier that morning. You tried fighting it back so that John would not see your eyes glistened with tears.

“I don’t think so— Oof!” You raised your head all too quickly and apologized at the person you bumped into. “I am very sorry, it’s my fault I wasn’t looking where I am going—”

“No worries, ma’am.” The man said as if he was in a hurry.

“Is there anything I can do for you? I am very sorry—”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” You didn’t even see a small glimpse of his face when he bid goodbye.

Beside you, John was holding his laughter before the man left. You looked him in the eye and there, he just burst out laughing.

“What was that for?” You huffed.

“Nothing, nothing. As you were saying? Weren't you going to treat me with that favorite bread of yours?”

“I'll treat you next time since you teased me today.” You stuck out your tongue and walked five steps ahead of him. You both acted like children but you were glad that you forgot that you had a heavy heart after what happened even for a moment. Maybe you should really give up and move away from the palace so that no royal nor noble blood could mess with your life ever again.

…

Feels like heaven welcomed you with the buttery smell of fresh bread wafting into the air even if you were still outside the bakery. You lead John inside your favorite bakery, and good thing, not a lot of people are lining up so you easily pick up the bread you wanted. 

“Welcome to Peach Bread and Pastries!” A handsome man welcomed the two of you, it seemed he was a new hire or something because you didn't seem to recognize him except for the older lady and her daughter, Joy, who already knew your order since you are their loyal patron. You wonder if Joy was there but it seems she may be out of town.

“Jaehyun!” John says all of a sudden.

You turn your head to who he calls out, and it turns out John knows one of the bakers.

“John.” He nods his head.

“By the way, this is my cousin, Jaehyun.” Johnny then introduces him to you. You try to think where you have met him. He is familiar! And when it hits you, you point your hand at John, and say, “Is that why you're laughing earlier because I just happened to bump into your cousin? Why didn't you say so?” 

You playfully glare at the taller man but John only cheekily grins at you as he chooses the bread he wants. 

“Well, at least you are acquainted with Jaehyun now.”

You huff with a pout and turn your back against him to choose your favorite bread among the display. You can’t seem to find it easily, so Jaehyun helps you find the bread you want. You faintly say ‘thank you,’ and lead you back to the counter.

“Thank you for your patronage, madame. I hope you can come back soon so I can serve you again.” The man smiles, dimples showing both sides of his cheeks, as he hands your orders. 

When you exit the bakery, you try not to swat your hands on John’s arm when he decides to tease you around his cousin. 

///

When you thought you could avoid Prince Taeyong, it was one of the hardest things you did in your life because you get to see him everyday inside the library  because that was one of his most frequent places to go to and obviously that’s where you work. Even if you wanted not to see him, he was just there. Donghyuck could see the frustrated look on your face, even if you deny that you weren’t agitated, he just continued to tease you when he knew the prince had arrived. 

“The prince is here, ma’am.”

“I know. You don’t have to remind me, Donghyuck.” You resort on not raising your head because for sure, the prince was not paying attention to his book.

“I thought you two were friends? What happened?” 

‘So many complicated things happen,’ you muttered defeatedly under your breath. You know Donghyuck already knows half of it, like you and Prince Taeyong but beyond that, you don’t want him to know the secret affair between you and the prince. It’s not like you don’t trust Donghyuck, what you just don’t like is his attitude because he was the type of person who will tease someone hard. And you know how mischievous he was especially towards his friend, Mark Lee, in the Green Knights who happened to be courting the lady-in-waiting, Yerim, so you rather shut yourself up. 

“Donghyuck, can you point me out where I can look at more of these types of fish?” 

“Oh, the head librarian knows a lot better than me, your highness! I think she can lead you there, right?” He looks at you with a cunning smile on his lips.

You glare sternly at Donghyuck, and the younger man shrugs with a nudge of his head towards the prince. You curse at the back of your mind before you head towards the prince. You fight the urge to stare at the young prince— make eye-contact, and the next thing you know, you are enchanted by him once again.

“Your highness, follow me here.”

The prince followed you obediently behind you. When you two had gotten away from the eyes of your assistant, Taeyong walks past you, and grabs your wrist.

“What are you doing—?”

“Just trust me.”

And you did trust him— like you always do. Taeyong leads you to a closet somewhere inside the library. You swear you haven’t seen this place even after working for like five years. He shows you a key, and you roll your eyes at him when he tries to open the door— which he was having a hard time opening.

“Did you conspire with Donghyuck or did you do this on purpose to have a private time with me?” You cross your arms on your chest, waiting for him to break in the two of you in the locked closet.

“What? I just wanted to see you, is there anything wrong with that?” He smiles cheekily. You almost bite a quick retort when he surprises you by dragging you inside the closet. Once inside, he presses his lips on yours but you resisted his kiss, pushing him away from you. His warmth never fails to soothe your aching heart, and you do want it so bad, yet times have changed and you do not want to get you both in trouble. 

“Please do me a favor and get us out of here, Yong... You don’t have to do this.” You tried to get serious, but he holds your hand, and presses it to his chest. 

“Just one last time, my love…” He kisses your forehead. “Please…”

“But you know we shouldn’t see each other anymore, Taeyong. Lady Gwendolyn already knew about us—”

“Did she hurt you?” He immediately lays his hand on both sides of your face. 

“Just please, Yong, let’s just stop this…” You shake your head. You don’t want to tell him what happened a week ago when Lady Gwendolyn threatened you and you know Taeyong. He would actually break his engagement in one snap, and you do not want to be the cause of all of it— even though a part of you wants it.

“But do you think that won’t stop me from wanting you? Do you really want me to stop?”

You would be lying to yourself if you didn’t want him as much as he does. If the circumstances were different, of course you would say yes to him. After all, you wanted to end up with him without worrying about the consequences of your actions. You do want to push him away from you again, but again, he was irresistible. He knows you too well. He knows how you couldn’t resist him despite pushing him away. That one last time is a lie, you know it. You know each other like the palm of each hand, and it both warms you all up all over again despite all of the sins you two commit in broad daylight.

“Let’s just stop this—” 

You lie to yourself once again but the moment he captures your lips, you want nothing more than anything but his warmth against you. You wanted to push him away, but your desire pulls you in and you still return his kiss with the same fervor and heat.  You are both hungry for desire, your hands intertwined with his own as it caresses your back.

“And even if you say no, I promise you that I will break this engagement, just trust me please… ” He pulls away from your lips, eyes gazing with your own. His eyes are mesmerizing as he stares at your own, one look from his, and you are once again trapped by him. 

“I love you…” He whispers those words that should have served as a declaration of affection towards you, but it left an opposite mark on you instead.

You try hard not to feel the pang, aching inside your heart, seeing him about to be parted away with you. And to you, it was one of the most bittersweet feelings you had in your life— he was your lifeline so are you to him. You wished everything was fine. You just wished everything was never like this. You just wished everything was simple for both of you, but in the end, it was never that easy. 

“I know…” You say softly before Taeyong kisses your temple once more. 

The moment he opens the door, you know that was the beginning of uncertainties, and probably the end, between the two of you, and you wouldn’t be able to do anything beyond that except to mourn for your loss— that breaks your heart into a thousand pieces and it’s hard to pick them all up all by yourself.

///

The days became weeks, when you realize that you hadn't even seen Taeyong for so long now. Though the talks of the wedding inside the palace were so frequent, you know how busy he was.  

Besides, the work in the library is not that heavy for the past few days. The prince hadn’t even visited the library, like you instructed him to. You wanted Taeyong so bad like you were before but in return, what you received was the price of loving someone too hard, and soon you will be left with nothing but grief and sorrow in the bellows of your heart and soul. You try not to further saddened yourself by lingering inside the palace, so you travel out of town.

The thought of him lingers in your mind especially the promise he made— you kind of hope it was true, yet, you are slowly losing hope for the two of you to be together like before. Either way, you stopped thinking about him, and just enjoy your vacation by the seaside. You bask in the salt air, brushing your skin, serenity wraps you in warmth and peace. You wanted this to set off your mind away

“What are you doing here all by yourself?” 

You were surprised to hear a familiar voice. When you turned your back, Jaehyun from Peach Bakery was standing right in front of you, there was nothing different like he was back at the bakery except he was wearing casual clothes, and nothing fancy like you used to see everyday in the palace.

“Jaehyun? What are you doing here?”

“My mother lives here around the plaza.” The man smiles at you, and the prominent dimples show up on both sides of his lips. He then stands beside you, and watches the sky on the horizon.

"This is peaceful, isn't it?"

You nod to him. "Yeah, and I am glad I am away from the drama in the palace. It was soooo exhausting."

"Yeah, I heard that the prince is marrying the daughter of the nobles from House Song, wasn't it?"

"Don’t get me started with Lady Gwendolyn…" You sigh defeatedly, and the man beside you laughs along.

“Do you want to take a stroll around here? I think that would be a long story, and it’s much better if we did it around nature.”

“Oh, it’s a pleasure, thank you, Jaehyun.” 

…

The two of you set off to a slow stroll around the town. The town was located in a rural area and you just wish that if you get to live in the palace, you hope you can live in a place like this— away from the drama, and you will just tend your lovely gardens when you go home after work.

“I didn’t know you lived around here. Seems peaceful to live here, doesn't it? Must be nice to stay here and just live far away from the kingdom.” You say with a dreamy far-off look. 

“I visit here from time to time, yeah, and I still love it whenever I go back home. And don’t mind me asking, John said that you are the royal librarian? Is that true?”

“Yeah, looks easy but it wasn't, especially if the prince was around.” You laugh half-heartedly. 

“Especially if the prince is around? I thought he was kind around people in the palace?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I mean it in a good way, it’s just the prince could be playful and mischievous, but yeah, he was kind, don’t worry.” You chuckle lightly as memories flash around inside your mind. It is not the time

“By the way, I almost forgot, when you mentioned Lady Gwendolyn, one thing instantly made me remember what was the talk of the town before she stepped into the palace.”

“What was it?”

“I thought everyone knows it? Isn’t Lady Gwendolyn’s family responsible for what happened during the ‘Cherry Bomb incident’?”

“Cherry Bomb incident… Yeah, I remember that…” 

You recall that night where you heard that one of the palace guards found out that someone stole the Cherry Statue, and they said it was only a prank, but it was already returned. Silly as it may seem, but it caused a stir the next morning in the kingdom.

“But I thought that was just a rumor the palace addressed last month, and it turns out it was Lady Gwendolyn did it?”

“You know what wealth and power can do to wipe away these rumors, besides it was just a minor incident, but I still remember the look on her face when she was caught red-handed by one of those guards. I was up that dawn when they caught her along with the Cake girls.”

“Guess, can't a woman have hobbies, huh? Looking back, it’s funny, to be honest. I can’t actually believe Lady Gwendolyn would be like that.”

Jaehyun smiles along with you. 

You didn’t realize that it was already sundown. Time flies so fast, you presumed, in these parts. You excuse yourself from Jaehyun, but he stops you when you are about to leave him.

“If you want, I can treat you to dinner, my mom would be delighted to see a friend of mine.”

You cannot refuse a free dinner so you follow him along back to town, and his home is not in a faraway distance unlike in the kingdom when you will trek the hills just to go down the town proper.

Jaehyun’s mother is knitting a scarf in front of her porch when you and Jaehyun arrive. When she sees the two of you, she waves her hand, and greets you with a placid smile on her face.

“I didn’t know my son would bring his beautiful beloved to our humble home.”

“Oh, we’re not—” You wave your hand in the air, denying that you and Jaehyun are together.

“Mother, she’s my friend, I told you about the royal librarian, right? Here she is.” 

“Ah, the royal librarian who loves my son’s peach bread. Of course, of course, you are their regular customer. What brings you here? Why are you two together?” 

“I just happened to see your son in town. I was just taking a vacation for two days, and here I never thought that I would see a familiar handsome face.” You raise your head and smile at Jaehyun. Jaehyun avoids looking at you, but you see the redness building up in his ears.

“If I didn’t knew any better, I would think that you and my son is already together—”

“Oh, no, no, I have already promised myself to someone.”

Jaehyun and his mother look at you with your confession. His mother cannot believe this but she just smiles at you. Meanwhile his son, Jaehyun, is looking at you like you have told them the most elaborate lie, or, maybe you are just overreacting because you actually cannot decipher his face. His expression is quite unreadable, but the next few words from his mother shocks both of you.

“The prince? Prince Taeyong Lee? You know him, and you are engaged with him?! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” His mother stares at you like you won the grand prize from the lottery.

Hearing Taeyong’s name should have brightened up your mood but the reason you were in this town was to get away from everything royal— from the prince and his fiancee and to the library— You guessed that you couldn’t run away from the flow of life.

“Ma, that’s enough. How about we eat dinner now?” Jaehyun stops his mother before she asks tons of questions about you and the prince. Good thing, his mother was easy to talk to, and she ushers you both inside their home.

“Sorry for making you uncomfortable. My mother should have known better.”

“It’s fine, it’s just… I thought I would run away from anything palace related. I am here to take a vacation.” 

“So does that mean, I won’t stand a chance from the prince, then?”

You shoot him a playful look, and you roll your eyes at him. “As if I STILL had a chance with Taeyong.”

“I mean you can do something like, for example, speak that you are against their marriage during their wedding.”

“I would not stoop that low.” You counter him right away.

“I don’t know about you, but if you changed your mind, just tell me. Peach Bakery will always love to serve their loyal patrons.”

“Even if it means to crash a wedding?” 

“Yeah, even if it means to crash a wedding.”

You hold your chuckle, and he does follow along, so you both end up bursting out laughing. His mother probably wonders why you two are taking so long to come inside.

…

Even if you wanted to stay for more than two days, you have to bid goodbye to Jaehyun’s mother. She wishes you a great journey along with his son, Jaehyun, when you go home.  When you get back to your healing vacation, you already know that you will be facing familiar faces again, and here you see back at the palace, none other than the prince’s fiancee. You honestly wish you stayed, so, you can skip the day of the wedding which is seven days from now.

Lady Gwendolyn sees you in one of the corridors, but you only smile at her and bow on your way.

“I thought you would never be back.”

“Lady Gwendolyn, good morning.” You try so hard not to slap hard in the face, but of course, you fully restrain yourself. You know it would not only cause a commotion, but it would cost your life.

“Stop pretending nice, you know you are planning to sabotage the wedding.”

“Now you have given me an idea.” You whisper to yourself, but the noblewoman had heard you. 

“What is it? What are you planning—?!”

Just when she was about to claw her hands at you, the prince shows up along with his assistant, Doyoung.

“What is happening here, Lady Wendy? Is there any problem here?” The prince stands beside her. Lady Gwendolyn, on the other hand, shuts herself up but she still eyes you annoyingly.

“Lady Gwendolyn just told me that she wishes a recommendation from the royal library but I don't think she is fond of reading books as much as you do, your highness.”

You smile at the prince, and you already want to move away from him. Because the more you see him, the more you realize that there would be no other way but be worlds apart now that he was about to marry someone who is not you.

“If you may excuse me, I need to go back on my duties. No time should be wasted.”

When you leave them, you can feel the eyes boring behind your back, watching you go away.

…

You visit your favorite bakery once in  a while, and you always spotted John's cousin there along with your friend, Joy. You decide to talk with him, a small conversation starts up and then the next thing you know, you are closer to him. Joy noticed this and she teased the two of you but your heart remains loyal in the end even if it hurts you. 

“Will you order your usual?” Jaehyun asked.

You nod at him and he seems to notice the frown paint in your face when you sit by the window.

When he brings your order, Jaehyun sits across from you.

“If you don't mind me asking, are you okay?”

You shrug. You don’t even know anymore since what is the point now that in the next few days the love of your life is about to be wed with someone that is not you. You haven't even seen his face for weeks now. And you know you are bound to give him up anyway now that Lady Gwendolyn had confronted you again the other day. You knew it would come to the point that the noblewoman would have known about your relationship, so instead of retaliating, maybe it’s best to just give him up.

“Well… what do you think?” 

“What if I tell you should really consider what I told you last week?” 

You know where he is going with this. You almost forgot that you mentioned to Jaehyun about your relationship problem, and wow, it is really satisfying to let those out.

“But that’s just too much…”

“Don’t worry, as a way of gratitude for being one of Peach Bakery's loyal patrons, and a loving friend, I'll help you with the best that I can.”

You want to refuse but Jaehyun has this charm you can't resist, and the voices inside your head do want to get back onto Lady Gwendolyn. Crashing the wedding without an invitation? You hadn't done that before, but at least if you have the choice then you'll just see the prince for the last time he was not wed yet.

“So? Do you want to go dress up as a baker and stop the wedding?”

“You know I won't do that...”

“But are you willing to see someone you love be taken away from you?”

You consider his offer for a moment. You actually wanted to see Taeyong in his wedding suit (even if it would hurt to see you that it will never be you), but at the same time, you might cause a stir among the guests, and worst of all, you will be banished from the kingdom. 

“Then, I’m in,” You said firmly.

It was not what you dreamt of when you were a child, but there is nothing wrong with trying, right? Risking it for someone for the love of your life? You have never been so foolish with your whole life except you have already been foolish since you have been in love with the prince.

Jaehyun smiled at you. “This will take us a week, then.”

“Perfect for the day of the wedding.” You mumble under your breath. 

And a week had never been so fast to slip away. 

In those days, Joy and Jaehyun assist you with your plan. Joy even said that you can borrow her dress that you can wear in the wedding but you refused, you don't want to catch attention. Thus, when the day comes, you get in as a baker from Peach Bakery. When you arrive, you hear the organ play the wedding song, but to you, it sounds like a death march. You know Taeyong will make a joke out of it, and it makes you smile when it flashed into your mind. 

You are wandering around the premises to blend in but John is the first one to recognize you with your disguise. John looks at you with widened eyes when sees you.

“You told me you’re not going to the wedding? What the hell happened— Oh, wait, you don’t have to tell me…”

“You’re looking at a baker right now.” You proudly grin as you twirl around with your baker uniform. “And I made it, can you believe it?”

John shakes his head with amusement.

“So, what’s your plan next—?”

“Oh, about time one of the servers shows up.” You hear the prince’s assistant, Doyoung, show up to John’s direction. To your relief, he doesn't even recognize you while he is flipping through his logbook.

“These pastries are needed to be delivered to the prince’s quarters. He likes his sweets by the way.” Doyoung orders you before he walks to the organ player, who plays like it was for the funeral.

You wave a small goodbye at the knight as you beeline all the way to where the prince is staying before the wedding starts. Some of the guests aren’t able to recognize you and you hope it will stay that way because you don’t want to cause any trouble— although you know in the first place, crashing the wedding is already considered to be one.

You take a deep breath before you knock at the door.

“Your highness! Your pastries were here, I will leave this on the table beside your door.” You leave his door right away before he can see you. You release a deep sigh and pray to the heavens that he will not recognize your voice.

What was even running in your mind when you do this thing all for a man you know in the end that it might not be worth it at all?

When you are on your way back to see John, you then soon spot the blushing bride by the dressing room, not with glee, but with a face full of fury, because although she was dressed in a beautiful white gown shaped like a pastry, makeup full-blown, she is yelling at a bridesmaid because she happened to wear white that was supposed to be color of the bride's gown only.

“You should change your gown right away!”

And so her bridesmaid did. You pity the younger lady because of the humiliation she had just experienced but there's nothing you can do but watch from the curtains. 

What's the worst thing that could happen at all? 

And, as much as you don’t want to admit that you will not do anything you will end up regretting at the end of the day, it led you to this point where you were standing in the middle of the aisle. You actually forgot how the hell you found your way here when you were just looking for John. But all this time, when you heard the piano start, you knew to yourself that you were not that type of person who would just drop by a wedding without having any invitation brought with you. 

This was a foolish idea, your conscience screamed at the back of your mind, yet here you are, dressed in your pretend baker clothes, standing in the middle of the aisle with many eyes looking at you. 

You ignored the leering eyes from the guests as they watched every step you make. You also ignored the bride's agitated look because let's be honest, she was not even the one you were there for. You then spotted the prince donning a silver-studded suit, ivory white hair handsomely slicked back as he stood aghast, seeing you there.

“What are you waiting for? Speak now, are you against this wedding?” The preacher asks you, snapping back to your reality and it hits you, you arrive at the time when the preacher asks if someone is against or not in the wedding. You know to yourself that being here is already a scandalous move, people would talk about how the royal librarian crashed the wedding and stated her objections, so if it would come to this, then…

“Well, I am—”

“Wait.” 

Instead of fully speaking your objection to the wedding, you are surprised that you are interrupted by the prince. You looked at him with confusion, but you swore to yourself that he said, “I can handle this,” in his lips.

 His eyes land on yours then to the preacher.

“I am against this wedding.”

His response caused a stir among guests. Gossips and murmur surrounds them, and of course, his fiance pleads at him asking why would he do such a thing.

“Your highness, this is absurd! She was a commoner! I am your soon-to-be loving wife!” Lady Gwendolyn holds his hand in hers.

“I have been against this wedding ever since I have known that this is absurd!” He pulls away his hand, and steps away from her.

“I have been waiting for the right time, and I think now is the time that I state my objections. And I have never been so surprised to see that the love of my life was here with us and I am glad she was here.” His gaze lands at yours, so do the guests.

“I have never wanted to spend my lifetime, soon to be the king of this kingdom, in a life not filled with pure love and passion. And I was glad that I met someone like her, she had brought serenity to a life that I never knew would be as colorful as the painted skies, and as serene as the rivers. And as the prince, I should have the right to choose someone that I know that would love me till the ends of the earth, because I, too, would do the same. And that is why I know that it was her, and not Lady Gwendolyn.” His eyes never left yours as he walked towards you. “This wedding is not for my liking, and by the graces, my father and my mother, I come to you not as a prince, but as your son, your offspring, would you grant my wish? And if not, I would rightfully leave the kingdom and abandon my birthright as a prince and live with my beloved wife as common people if you do not agree with my terms.” 

The prince walks towards you and grabs hold of your hand and smiles fondly at you. His eyes twinkle as your eyes meet, face lighting up as soon as he gets to stand by you.

“Your highness, do not abandon me this way! If you step outside, this engagement ends now!” Lady Gwendolyn threatens. 

When you thought the prince would go back for her, to your utter surprise, the prince took your wrist and ran away from the wedding. You can't help but be giddy and nervous at the same time. The swirling feeling flutters inside your stomach now that you are reunited with Taeyong. It still feels surreal to you that your dream came true as uncertain as it can be. You briefly look back when you hear Lady Gwendolyn scream at the top of her lungs, knees on the floor as she was abandoned by her own groom. The pity was not apparent, and you only feel the happiness brought upon you.

However, it seemed you spoke too soon as it was cut short.

“Taeyong!” The king roared in anger when he followed you and Taeyong outside of the church.

“I did not know that this would come to this. I did not know that the prince of the kingdom of Evening Cross Outlands would influence you like this, my child! And you decided to abandon your marriage to the royal librarian? What kind of nonsense is this? Do you want to be a disgrace of this kingdom? Go back there, and marry Lady Gwendolyn, and leave this woman!” He directed his attention to the young prince then you. 

You shrunk to yourself. You almost want to die on the spot now that the king has his attention to you. You don't want any of this attention but here you are, the king addresses you like it was the day of your execution.

“That's because I do not love Lady Gwendolyn! And no other arrangement can make me fall in love with her.” Taeyong stands between you and the king, shielding you with his arm.

“You have not been asked to speak yet, Prince Taeyong.” The king pushes the prince aside, but he is stopped by the presence of the queen. The queen whispers something to the king, and he sighs when she is finished. His eyes still never left you, watching you with every step you take.

“How did Prince Taeyong fall in love with someone like you?” The queen speaks with a sincere heart as she stands in front of you. 

You can feel the pressure punch down your guts. The silence is too loud, you can hear every heartbeat inside your chest. You take a deep breath, and stand firmly on your feet.

“I may not have been born as a noblewoman like Lady Gwendolyn, but I have given Prince Taeyong with kindness when we started as friends, and comfort when we ended up as lovers. I do wish he would live a good life even if he and I part ways, but if fate permits us, then all I can say is that: I can't offer anything yet but I promise you your highness but my love is nothing but filled with honesty and truth, and I swear to the divines that I am speaking this with my whole heart.” You are unable to process what you had said to the king. Your words flow coherently as possible and you hope she understood what you meant, and it is not just a petty excuse of a confession, but a declaration of your true feelings towards the prince.

“I do not need you to grant me something impossible, but a woman can dream, and I will be forever grateful for your grace.” You bow down to her but the queen stops you.

“Then that is what I only need to know.” She says with a smile as she clasps her hands with yours. You are genuinely confused at what she had said. You even look at Taeyong who shared the same sentiment to you.

“I beg your pardon, but I don’t understand.” You ask her but she only laughs heartily before she takes her own son’s hand and links to yours.

“It's a pleasure to see my son's beloved in person, so it's an honor to wish you both love, prosperity and abundance.” The queen then ushers you and the prince to the aisle. “If anyone is against this wedding, just let me know because I will be the first one to be the one to push them away even if it's the king.” 

The king glances at your direction and sighs defeatedly.

“Now, where were we?” The queen links her arm in yours as you watch Taeyong go back standing by the altar.

You walk in the middle of the aisle along with the queen. You don’t feel any pressure at that moment, it actually shocks you as the events unfold so quickly.

Fortunately, there was no sight of Lady Gwendolyn in the premises; probably the royal guards escorted her outside. And it is a surprise that the guests are still around, and their faces were much better than when the noblewoman was present. You even saw Jaehyun, Joy and Johnny with the brightest smiles. You knew Johnny would be the first one to congratulate you, and of course, you silently thank Jaehyun and Joy for helping you even if you knew this plan was too risky.

When you almost arrive at the altar, the queen leaves you and wishes you with a faint good luck. 

“I’m sorry if I didn’t have the time to pick a dress and you will marry me in this.” You emphasize by pinching the sides of the hem of your baker’s top.

“It’s fine. You look beautiful no matter what, dress or simple baker’s clothes.” He squeezes your hand, tracing little circles on top of your hand. “At least you are here with me.”

The priest clears his throat, and you can’t hold your laugh even in a serious occasion. 

Who would have thought that in the end, you and Taeyong will be together? Of course, it’s definitely not you. But maybe the universe has the way of saying that everything will be alright in the end, and it is! Here you are, marrying the love of your life.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

✨ The space-loving scientist S/O [with a lovely sunshine personality] mysteriously disappeared one night, they're never to be seen ever again, that is until after so many years suddenly a spaceship crashes into a forest near their home in the middle of the night. When skelly comes to investigate, finally... He saw S/O... Injured and large scars all over, on their face and body, ones old and new, they looked so SO exhausted, their body trembles, dark eye bags under their eyes but as S/O stood up, their eyes widens in shock yet light up happily upon seeing skelly. Despite that they were hurt badly, blood dripping and body aching, it was hard to move, although, they couldn't care less at all, the love of their life they've been deeply longing for was in front of them even if so much time has passed, they ran, or at least tried to with the state that they're in, limping and reaching towards skelly sobbing... Skelly allows S/O to hug him, they both fell and broke down, S/O then muttered "My l-love...I-I'm finally home.." and quietly apologizing for everything...

S/O later explains that they were kidnapped by terrible and horrible aliens after accidentally wandering into their territory at night and forced to be their test subject and slave as punishment, spending such a long time being tortured constantly, forced to do terrible things for them and things they didn't want to do, however, S/O persevered, knowing that if S/O gave up and died then only the shitty aliens would win so they tried so hard and fought back that turned the situation into an endless war, surviving through it all, changing the sweet and kind sunshine who dreamt of reaching the stars to a tired soldier... All they ever thought of and dreamt was only to come back home, reuniting with their love...

[Hi!!! I apologize for writing this so long but I just had to tell ever detail because this idea had been stirring inside and rotting my brain with soo much angst! XD]

Undertale Sans - He's horrified. Honestly, he just assumed he did something wrong all these years that made you run away, he could never imagined, well, that. First, he teleports you to the hospital, then he warns Asgore because, uh, that seems like a serious situation a King should know about you know. He's not leaving your side after this, simply holding your hand as you recover. He doesn't know what more he can do to help, but at least, he can listen and be here for you. He won't stop apologizing for not being there when you needed it, even though he can't really go to space so there's not much he could do.

Undertale Papyrus - He's completely in shock. Papyrus assured everyone you were alive and didn't stop looking after you all these years, even though his brother and Undyne told him he was just hurting himself for nothing. Turns out he was right all along and just didn't think to check space, silly him. Welp, that happened. Sometimes everyone thinks you're dead, sometimes you get kidnapped by aliens. That's life. Now that it's over, everyone can turn the page and never leave again because he's now full of insecurities and literally terrified you will never get home when you go get groceries :D But he's fine, he hides it very well (no).

Underswap Sans - Omg. You fought aliens all this time and he was not there to see this. He's jealous, well, not too much of the "I was a lab rat part" but all the other sides. You went into space, and you beat up aliens! Is your spaceship still working? He wants to beat up aliens too! He's glad you're back home, and he won't stop asking questions. He has trouble understanding you need to recover from all this and that talking that much about this traumatizing experience is definitely not helping.

Underswap Papyrus - He breaks down in your arms. He doesn't care what happened, he's just so happy. He got confused after you disappeared, than angry, then sad, then depressed and he was very close from falling down because he couldn't understand why you left. He kept believing, just a little, that maybe you would come home someday, and he's so glad you did eventually. He's horrified when he learns you got basically tortured for years, but he is also in awe about how you managed to go home by yourself. He won't stop crying for a few weeks. He needs to recover as well.

Underfell Sans - He doesn't even know what to say. He grew angry after you, thinking you gave up on him like many before you and that he got tricked into a false feeling of security once again. But now you're back, and apparently, it's all his fault because he didn't think even one second you might have been kidnapped by aliens. He thought about a car accident or something but your car had been found unscathed after a while, he thought of a kidnapping but Edge assured him none of his rivals were in town when it happened, so he just assumed you left. He's not sure how to feel about all of this, he needs some time to think.

Underfell Papyrus - He falls completely silent. He searched for you everywhere. He thought you died somewhere and that he would never see you again. He mourned you. And now you're just... back? He lived the all thing like a giant failure because he wasn't there to protect you and he thought that maybe you got kidnapped and died all alone somewhere. Well, learning you got kidnapped by aliens doesn't help him to feel better, because he felt like it was his role to protect you, and he couldn't prevent this. He's glad you're home, but he is full of insecurities now, wondering if he's the right fit for you if he can't even protect you from something like this.

Horrortale Sans - Oh he was not worried. Willow kept telling him you were gone forever, but he could feel in his soul it was not true and he just kept forgetting you were gone for four years until you actually come back out of nowhere. He's just happy he got his S/O's back, purring like you left the house yesterday. He knew you would come back.

Horrortale Papyrus - Well that's awkward. You landed right next to the tomb he made for you in the forest, right next to Undyne's and Alphys' ones (that was supposed to not exist by the way because Monsterkind refused to give them tombs). Willow just thought it would be nice to have a place to remember you, since there was not really a body to mourn. He's now completely in shock, unsure if you are a ghost or no. Well, there's the spaceship, sure, but, that's a bit unbelievable. He doesn't even know what to say. He's happy, sure, but that doesn't feel real at all for him.

Swapfell Sans - He was really happy to discover you're actually alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere. Well, at least until you tell him you got abducted by aliens. Nox suddenly falls silent, then keeps looking between your face and your stomach. Nah man, that's too much for him. He runs home like the devil is chasing him and locks all the doors and windows. If your stomach needs to explode and deliver some random alien baby that will eat everyone, do it outside. He doesn't want to know. It will take three days to convince him you are in fact not infested with an alien parasite. He still doesn't trust you, but he tolerates you inside lol.

Swapfell Papyrus - Well the Rus you knew is not the same. After you disappeared, he kinda gave up on everything and lost the will to do anything. Instead, you meet with his brother, who is both terrified of you and relieved. When you go to see Rus, he thinks you're a hallucination and completely ignores you, and he will for a good month before realizing you're here to stay and sometime later that you're actually real. Little step by little step.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He's not sure is believing you, despite the spaceship. It's not that he doesn't want to believe you, but it seems too big to believe, and it feels like you're searching for an apology for giving up on him. Wine has trust issues and won't be fully the same anymore, even if he'll forgive you eventually and accept that something crazy actually happened to you. It's just... It still hurts. He struggles to forget the few years without you.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Unfortunately, Wine finds you first. Wine is NOT happy you abandoned his precious baby brother and before you can even say a word, he attacks you lol. How dare you come back after all these years? Don't you know how much you hurt Coffee? Like hell he's letting you get close again! Eventually, he'll calm down, but not after beating the living hell out of you. First he hits, then he tries to understand. Well, that's very awkward when he realizes he had beaten you for something you're not really responsible for... At least Coffee is happy to see you. He won't let you go ever again. Poor guy is even more scared of being abandoned now.

Special mentions:

Horrorswap Papyrus - He's so relieved you're alright. He never stopped believing you would come home, despite everyone saying it's hopeless. He just knows. When he learns you got tortured for a few years though, he can't stop apologizing for you. The guy quite know the feeling, and he's so sorry you had to experience it as well. At least you two can try to recover together now. He's glad you're home.

Outertale Sans - Ah. First time? That happens. Those aliens are quite curious you know. Maybe next time take a beacon with you so, you know, he doesn't get worried and just knows you're actually just having a party with a random species? Ah, you got tortured? Ah... Uh... He looks at his feet and doesn't dare to meet your eyes again. Yeah, he forgot aliens could do that too.

[sanrielle]

I've been thinking a lot about Katara and her feminism vs. her desire to preserve her dying culture. Like I know that the SWT probably isn't as sexist as the NWT, but there are still a lot of enduring practices that have roots in patriarchy, as demonstrated by Sokka's earlier sexism.

So I think Katara would end up with an odd mix. She's obviously a staunch feminist who thinks girls and women should follow their own paths, regardless of what society in general thinks their roles should be. But at the same time, she can't escape from some of the subtler (and possibly more insidious) traditions of 'propriety' and the role of women as the homemakers.

[Obligatory disclaimer that I don't know that much about Inuit culture when it comes to these things. I'm purely basing this off of what is shown in the cartoon itself.]

Something that kinda goes along with this is Katara's necklace. To her, it's a symbol of her grandmother's struggle for independence, as well as a memento of her mother and the sacrificial love she displayed. In the NWT, it represented (at best) a romantic commitment and (at worst) a transfer of property. I don't think she'd associate hers with either, and she'd probably be insulted if Aang tried to give her a new one when proposing.

(I maintain that the necklace she wears as an old lady is the same one she had in childhood. The fact that it looks wonky in that one screenshot is nothing more than lackluster rendering.)

Anyway, I've gone a little off topic. I just think she's a really interesting study in how someone can rail against the negative parts of their culture that don't appeal to them, while also having an internalized fondness for some of those same traditions, simply because they are familiar and nostalgic.

Take Toph for contrast. I don't think she's the butch anti-feminine person a lot of people make her out to be. She just does what she wants. She's perfectly happy to go to the spa or wear dresses and makeup, but only if it's her choice to do so. She's railing against the repressive and oppressive culture of elite EK society simply because she previously had no agency over her life.

Meanwhile, Katara takes an active role in seeing to the physical and emotional needs of her brother/friends. And even though that 'motherly' role is largely a trauma response and something she deeply resents at times, I think it's also a source of comfort to her. Something about her culture that she desperately clings to.

I think a lot about her and Aang's life post-war. They would be very focused on reconstruction for years, most likely. Katara would have her own projects with the Water Tribes, but also spend a lot of time helping Aang. Some part of her craves the validation of appearing to be 'proper' concerning her relationship with him. Maybe she's a bit hypocritical about it: unwilling to wait until they've settled down to be intimate, but also reluctant to publicly break certain social 'rules'.

She keeps telling herself there's so much to do in the world, and maybe she feels this heavy burden to do as much good as she can before allowing herself to rest and slow down and create the family she's always wanted.

But then ten(ish) years have passed and suddenly! Baby on the way! Oops! Katara knows she's a public figure and cares a lot about how she's seen. She wants the respect of the people from her own culture. And so they stop. They get married. They settle down.

Katara becomes the wife and mother, which she definitely wants while also having some lingering regrets and conflicting feelings. She still wants to be a role model for other girls and women, but she likes not being constantly on the move and fighting people and playing politics. She likes getting up in the middle of the night to sing an old Water Tribe lullaby to her baby. She likes it the most when Aang is there because he's always seen her as an equal partner, not a piece of property.

Anyway, I didn't really have a point. Just rambling about my own headcanons. I've always put a lot more thought into Toph and Sokka's characters, but I guess Kataang has been on my mind lately. And tbh I never gave Katara the attention she deserved when writing fics, which is a travesty.

[cho-aaacho]

𝑷𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝑴𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

Masterlist

Tags : Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Stargazing, Date Night, Soft Gojo, Sweet Talker Gojo, Kissing, Multiple Kiss, French Kissing, Teasing, Reader is Genderless. (This is a Repost but I added more detail! Enjoy!)

Summary : Although your world is always surrounded by seven colors, your gaze is always drawn to his presence.

Warm embrace, stole a glance, giggling with a hue of crimson cheeks and a fluttered heart. These are all things you can do when he's around you.

Sometimes you wonder where his sweetness comes from. Maybe you should ask him?

"Do you think it is enough?"

A serene grin danced on Satoru's lips, revealing a warm side of him. He locked his eyes into you and sealed an enigmatic love in his realms. With a gentle gesture, he is settled next to you, following your gaze to the beautiful stars that paint the night sky.

"Thank you, Satoru-kun," you reflected, gazing deeply into his eyes, trying to find his love in the serene night. "Never in my wildest dream did I imagine stargazing in the middle of the woods, haha."

"Why?" He giggled while savoring the warm embrace of hot chocolate. "You hate the woods?"

You chuckled teasingly and pinched his cheek, relishing the softness around your fingertips. "Oh, Satoru-kun, my dear, the woods aren't a romantic place, haha. You need to choose something better, maybe the beach."

A playful note tingled with his laughter, and he teasingly brushed your waist. Embracing you, wanting to share his warmth with you, exploring your beauty. "Are you sure about that, sweetheart?"

At the same time, his eyes were gracing yours, locking you gently, and sealing you. You didn't know why his eyes looked like that. They were so blue, almost like a deep ocean, with crescent moons as a backdrop. Don't forget about his other features, such as the beautiful eyelashes, pink kissable lips, and silver hair framing his gorgeous face.

How could you resist him if he looks this magnificent?

"Huh, but it's special because..." he paused, lending a mysterious tone to his voice. "It was only you and me in this place."

"Yes, Suguru-kun and Shoko-chan are busy."

As an ethereal warmth wrapped his musings, he nestled softly on your shoulder, and entwining his fingers with yours as if he needed your gentleness. He muffled your name between his breaths.

As a response, you playfully ran your fingers through his silver hair. "Are you okay?" You asked, sealing a kiss on his head.

"Yes, of course I am. I'm happy spending my time with you." As he says those magic words, a cute blush paints his cheeks, sending a constellation of translucent stars above his head. "How could I live without you? I adore you, my dear."

"Satoru-kun, the sweet talker." You laughed and pinched his nose. "Who put you up to this? Mei-san, perhaps?"

With a sigh, Satoru encircled his arm around your waist, attempting to steal your breath, your warmth, your attention, and your love.

He lifted his head and cupped your face. A mischievous smile curls on his lips. "Even when the moonlight caresses its pale light, Your beauty never fades from your face."

"Another edition of the sweet talker Satoru-kun?"

He teases. "Who knows, you'll adore this sweet talker Gojo Satoru!"

With playful finesse, he traced the contours of your jawline, allowing his fingertips to linger over your face, "Hey... may I—" and then he sealed a gentle kiss on your lips.

Not only one.

He placed another kiss.

Another followed.

Again. And again.

His lips melded with yours, and the two of you danced in a sensual duet. Until he tries to venture into your mouth, counting your teeth with his tongue, sinking it into your mouth, entering your mouth, melding with yours, and giving them a little sucking. 

Later you will remember the taste of hot chocolate in his mouth, the sweetness of the marshmallows he ate earlier, or the smell of tea leaves that you didn't know where they came from.

"Sa...to...~ kun—"

He pulled out after realizing you were almost passed out from the kissing. He knows this well; you always enjoyed his kiss. He always knew how to surprise you.

"Oh..." A string of saliva linking the two of you, from his mouth to yours and he immediately brushed them with his thumb. "Sorry, I couldn't help it."

"Oh, Satoru-kun is a good kisser."

[popcorndispenser]

Did anyone say... young Des anger issues oneshot? Ft Raymond being awesome?

...No? Just me? Aw. Oh well, here it is -

@jistda pings you right back. Your art inadvertently kicked me in the ass to remind me to post this lmao

Raymond was awoken in the wee hours of the morning by a mighty CRASH from the floor above.

The middle-aged butler slept in the Sycamore manor for the convenience of the madam and master, but in his own unique quarters, seperated enough from them that they needn't think of his existence unless they wished to. Perhaps so he didn't appear to be more of the family than he was.

Raymond was perfectly fine with the arrangement - not needing to pay rent unless he made an unnecessary expense (such as a hot bath) was well worth it in his opinion, as well as the fact that he genuinely enjoyed his job and appreciated not having to take commute to arrive at it every day. It had never stung that he knew they conspired still to keep him out of sight and mind equal, as he was so proficient in that art, working with such speed that it occasionally felt as though the rooms had been compelled to clean themselves by magic.

Seperate he was, but his room was stationed almost directly beneath the room of the young master Desmond, which was of rather some concern considering the volume of the noise he had heard and the fact that the current time was just past 3 in the morning, far too early for a young lad to be up and getting himself into trouble.

No further noise presented itself beside the hurrying of tiny feet, so Raymond was left to assume that the boy's parents hadn't been woken as he himself had... or, unfortunately, that they hadn't cared enough to pay it mind.

Raymond hefted a heavy sigh, slipping from the comfort and warmth of his luxuriant bedsheets to try and make himself presentable, changing into a comfier version of his usual attire and slipping on his patch-pattern slippers. Best to go ensure the boy hadn't hurt himself.

It was a chilly night, the air blooming with the frost of autumn, and Raymond checked several times that the windows were closed tight as he passed by. Making his way up the great staircase he had to watch his step as to not misstep. It would be a boon to illuminate his path, but alas, it wasn't possible. The only available lights were that of the great chandeliers above in the high arched ceiling, and he would not dare to risk waking the master and madam up by alighting those.

The butler paused outside of Desmond's room, hesitating to hear for anything suspicious before rapping his knuckles at the door once, twice, thrice, and calling out for him softly.

Shuffling noises that had been audible within immediately stopped, a childish behaviour that amused him to no end, to think that a sudden absence of noise was in any way /less/ suspicious.

"Young master?" He called, careful to soften his voice, again aware of the boy's parents sleeping down the hall. "Are ye alright?"

Another beat of silence. Raymond held back a slight urge to groan. Instead he simply knocked once more.

"There've been some concerning noises... just open up eh, I only wish to make sure you are alright."

The butler's accent was thicker with sleep, he knew.

"I-I'm okay!" The young master finally called back, voice wobbly and warbling in a way that instantly sent alarm bells to Raymond's head and heart and woke him the rest of the way. "I'm sorry for waking you, really." And the voice grew closer, Desmond obviously moving nearer to the door to be heard without projecting himself. "But there's really nothing to worry about. You can - you /should/ go back to bed."

"Och, I don't think so." Raymond frowned deeply, more determined than ever to see what was amiss. "If you could even allow me to see you, to ensure that you are unharmed, that would be plenty."

"My voice doesn't assure you that I am well?"

"Quite the opposite."

A pause, and then- "Okay." The boy huffed, sounding annoyed. "Okay, okay. One sec-"

Raymond waited patiently until the great oak door finally clicked open, and looked down at the sight of a remarkably uncomfortable looking Desmond Sycamore, bedraggled and eyes ringed with a loss of sleep. The eleven year old looked like he had been dragged through a hedge.

Even with the dim lighting of only the boy's nightlight and the glow of the moon peeking in through his opened curtains, Desmond's was visibly in a state. His normally well-styled curles were a mess on his head like he'd been tearing at them, and his clothes were in a similar dissaray - school tie undone and lying scrunched up over his shoulders, vest gone and his button-up tee that had been freshly ironed and crisp just that evening, now creased and wrinkled with the bottommost button missing. Yet all of this was not nearly as pressing as-

"Yer hands!" Raymond hissed, ignoring all manners as he shoved the door the rest of the way open and yanked the child's hand up to better view it. It was as bad as he'd feared - the knuckles were split and bruised purple, cuticles torn, a nail was chipped. More to that were small cuts all over his fingers and the back of his hand, deeper ones nearer to the knuckles, still oozing small beads of blood. None of it was serious damage and yet it felt like the end of the world to behold. "Bloody Mary, what in hell have you been up to-"

"I-I'm fine!" Desmond desperately protested, trying to pull his hands back to no avail. When Raymond kept looking at him sternly, prompting an answer, the humiliated child finally caved, scrunching his nose as he scowled and gestured for the butler to step further inside. "Quickly, so they don't hear!"

'Are they the boogeyman to you, lad?' Raymond mused, confused and concerned. 'One would hope a boy's first instinct when he is hurt would be to go to his parents, but...'

But the Sycamores had never really acted like a true family. From the day they had adopted Des, Raymond had privately mused if it had simply been a checked box for them, something to complete this concept of 'grow up, marry, start a business, raise a child' that society propagated no matter the circumstance, a completely cynical decision. It was an unpleasant thought though sadly not uncharacteristic of the couple he knew so well by now.

The boy's room was in a worse state than he was. Fresh sheets wrenched up and around like he'd fought with them, curtains wrenched over, and most obtrusively was a shattered vase on the ground by his study area. Having once been am ostentatious gift from the elder master's work friends, the man had placed it in Desmond's room, citing it as an apparently greatly valuable antique he'd thought Desmond would enjoy due to his 'interest in archaeology', not knowing the boy's 'interest' only extended toward the ancient Azran civilization and not much else. Well... it was currently in pieces on the carpet, so it didn't matter after all.

"I didn't mean to knock it, honest." Desmond mumbled, head bowed and playing with his hands. Raymond watched with concern as he kept digging his nails into the damage, exacerbating it further. Was he /trying/ to harm himself-? "I got the cuts from trying to bin it. I didn't think the noise would wake anyone up. Really, I'm sorry."

Raymond reached out to seperate the boy's nails from his hand before he drew even more blood, and the youngster had enough presence of mind to look abashed at being caught doing it. "If that was an accident, what of the rest of this?" The butler pressed gently.

Desmond went red. "No, no. Um. The rest, I guess was intentional. Or not really. Ugh... It's not like I was trying to mess everything up, I just..." he slumped, red eyes dim and welling up. "I got really upset and I started lashing out at everything."

"What could've possibly incensed ye so much at 3 in the ruddy morning?"

The boy tensed, screwing his eyes shut. A beat, and then- "I can't remember Theo's face anymore." Desmond whispered.

Ah. That clicked it into place. Any frustration melted out of the man like water, and in it's place sat a deep melancholy.

Raymond knew what happened to Desmond's family - had been told at length during one of the boy's many episodes of which he had never felt safe to inform his 'parents' - and ever since first even getting an implication of the details had felt a deep sorrow hearing about it. It was obvious that the incident that seperated Desmond from his parents and particularly from his brother had scarred and emotionally damaged him, and unfortunately may just do so for life. Theodore was the light of Desmond's life even as far away as he was, the reason the boy gave for everything he did, the goals he worked towards. Of course the idea of him fading away from memory would hurt.

And the boy had had one of his... episodes. Had probably punched the walls, or perhaps even that massive vase, and nearly broken his bleeding hand in the process. Had stayed alone as his thoughts spiralled, still not seeking out any comfort.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Raymond wondered softly.

Desmond's face scrunched up bitterly, and the young master turned away so any further expressions wouldn't be seen.

"I didn't want you to get tired of this stuff. I didn't want you to go go away."

Raymond exhaled slowly, feeling tears surge in his own eyes, and before he could think it through he had dropped to one knee and pulled the boy tightly to his chest, muffling Desmond's choked sob of surprise. "I will never go away, do ye hear me?" He murmered, running a hand comfortingly through the boy's hair, an action he knew the master of the house should be here to do, and felt another intense fire of anger burn through him. When was the last time Mr Sycamore had even spoken to his child?, "Through hell and high water, young master, I will stick with you. Heaven knows someone ought to."

Desmond curled up against him, a week keen breaking through the boy's lips as he wept. "I miss him. I miss him so much. God, Raymond, it hurts so much. Destroying things - destroying myself, I thought it'd help, but it didn't - I'm sorry."

"I know, I know." Raymond soothed, closing his eyes so as to not allow any tears of his own to fall. "I'm so sorry, lad. But please don't hurt yourself. It makes me awfully sad as well. Please come to me next time you feel this way."

"Okay" Desmond gasped out, hands tightening. "M'sorry."

"I know, lad."

"I'm so sorry."

"I know. I know."

In the end, Raymond cleaned up the remainders of the razor-sharp shards, all too aware that he shouldn't leave the boy alone by them, not trusting him to not mess with them again. And by morning come Desmond was perfectly presentable again, hair combed back and clothes perfectly straightened. Neither of his parents commented on his bandaged knuckles.

And though Desmond now looked as calm as the ocean beyond, Raymond /seethed/ on his behalf.

[hey-kae]

Would he care?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

a/n: the way i found this in my notes app from beginning of april and i have no memory whatsoever of writing it? What? Anw this is just me projecting my feelings onto monsieur charles after a horrendous night out probably (it was)

Warnings: angst kinda, vague, reader is not over her first love from years ago which some may find cringey, one-sided pining, kinda sucks.

Nothing ever changed.

His eyes meet yours and suddenly you’re time traveling to six years ago when his existence was the bane and the center of yours.

It was never supposed to matter this much, not enough to leave you biting onto your quivering lip as you stared from across the room, desperately trying to hold back the tears.

It was all supposed to be a passing, simple childhood crush. Your heart wasn’t supposed to skip a beat when you hear his name on the street after so many years.

Your head wasn’t supposed to snap in the direction of the sound so quickly, it might’ve just given you away, but it did. Oh, it did and there he was, smiling with glimmering eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses.

Your favorite eyes in the world, the perfect homogeneous mix of browns and blues and greens.

Nothing was supposed to happen when you saw him, but by now it’s clear that nothing was going as it was supposed to.

It started with a smile and a chuckle as you pointed him out to your friend. Because, yes… Even after all this time, part of you still got excited about seeing him.

“Charles…” you freaked out, “he’s behind you.”

It was hiding from his gaze then, laughing as you did so, then came the sinking feeling of ‘what has happened to us?’

It felt so wrong. You knew too much about him and yet you walked away like a stranger.

You knew his bad habits and good ones, his favorite foods and scents, his preferred perfume, things that made him cry, things that made him laugh…

It felt so wrong, but your heart tugged at the thought that you were among the same crowd again. It felt like you weren’t allowed to feel for him anymore.

Everyone was in disbelief when you would tell them he still means to me, hiding the true extent of the feelings. He still means everything. Everyone assumed you’d moved on, everyone told you you should. Some even found it ridiculous that something that happened at such a young aged scarred you so deeply.

And at some point, they managed to make you feel pathetic.

Would he care? Would he acknowledge you?

It felt so wrong, to feel like you were 15 again, changing everything about you to fit his taste, fumbling for words whenever he looked your way, trembling out of nerves whenever he was within seeable reach, praying he’d just give you a glance.

But nothing ever changed. This was Charles. His name was scarred onto your heart, right in the middle, labeled with pretty lettering… “the very first cut.”

He was your very first love.

Would he care? Did he know that?

Nothing ever changed, and years later, he was turning you back into the mess you were back then, without even taking a glimpse at your reddening cheeks.

You still tried to pinpoint his location in the room for the entirety of the night, just like old times. You still stole glimpses at him discreetly without even having the confidence to make your presence known.

Would he care? How would he react?

You still tried to find his friends among the masses of people. You still reveled in the sound of his voice traveling to your ears.

Just like you remembered it, only a little deeper. He has grown up, so have you, but his smile was still the same, unlike yours.

The tug in your heart when he laughed was still the same too. So was the heaviness of the feeling when his arm ended up around his girlfriend.

Different face, same heartache.

Would he care? Does he love her?

He knows how to love?

It felt unfair to think why you couldn’t have that, a person of your own. He was the one that hurt you, why did he still get to be happy? Why? Especially when you still felt wrecked by him?

He knows how to love. Oh, wow.

And just like always, the trip in time continues, back to when you heard his laugh being caused by something you did or said, back when you two were the group’s wild ones, back when he was a classmate next to whom you shyly sat.

And so the smile drops as the realization sink in.

He was a stranger who you loved.

Did you still love him? Was this just an aftermath?

Would he care? Would he know?

You forced yourself to look away. You forced yourself to think of something else. Maybe one day, it’ll come naturally, but for now, maybe you still loved him.

Would he care? If he knew, would he care?

You knew the answer, but maybe someday you’ll allow yourself to acknowledge it.

[dianneking]

Hiii👋 not sure if youre taking requests but I just had to send one!! Im inlove your fics 🫠 can I request Larissa/reader based on she by dodie wt a happy ending please 👉👈🥺 its alright if youre not accepting requests, just wanna shoot my shot :-))

Hi! I wanted to thank you for this request, because it made me discover this song that I didn't know, and it filled me with all the angst necessary to make this fic happen, so I hope you enjoy!

Tags: Angst and Feelings, Angst with a happy ending, Break-up, age difference, Boss/Employee relationship, hidden relationship, pining.

AO3 link in title, if you prefer reading it there!

She - Larissa/Reader Angsty Songfic

 Am I allowed to look at her like that Could it be wrong when she's just so nice to look at

  The light streamed through the window panes, silhouetting Larissa in sharp contrast against it. Her hair refracted the sun and for a moment it looked as if she was wearing a halo. Like a painting of a saint, or a goddess of old. And you, you, as always were her worshipper, blessed by the honor of drinking in her figure like that.

You were standing at the center of the room, the book you held in your hand forgotten by your side, so mesmerized by her beauty that you forgot to notice the tight curve of her shoulders, the way her hands gripped spasmodically the windowsill. You would remember all these details of course, but only later.

Too late.

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep She tastes like apple juice and peach Oh, you would find her in a polaroid picture And she means everything to me

  “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to work.”

She chose not to look at you as she said this, her eyes roaming the grounds of Nevermore from behind the glass of her window. Not even sparing you a glance as she broke up with you. You felt all the air leave your lungs at that, and yet all that could be heard in the suddenly silent room was a soft, pained Oh.

(Oh)

“I can’t give you what you want. You need to build a future for yourself and I…I need to be able to concentrate on Nevermore without any distractions.”

A distraction. That’s all you boiled down to. What for you had been the happiest period of your life was little more than a nuisance to her. You tried to swallow around the pain that this caused you. Was that what she had been thinking through all of your time together? The nights curled up in front of the fire, the stolen dates hiking through the woods around Nevermore, the way her fingers curled around yours when no one was watching? Nothing but a distraction?

  “I… should probably go, then.”

Larissa’s head whipped back towards you as soon as the words left your mouth, but she didn’t say anything for what felt like an infinite stretch of time. Still, you waited, standing in the middle of her office like a misbehaving student. You always waited for her. Of course you did, you loved her. Was that part of what made you such a bother to her?

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

“Was there anything you wanted me to say?”

I'd never tell No I'd never say a word And oh it aches But it feels oddly good to hurt.

“…I guess not.”

“I’ll leave you to your work then.”

You clamped down on the instinct to say I’m sorry because you weren’t. You were grateful for the time she had given you. And if she wasn’t going to apologize for breaking up with you, then neither were you going to apologize for making her feel like she had to choose between you and her work. You turned on your heel, walking away from the room, leaving your heart behind with someone you thought would cherish it forever. After all, that had been your mistake, not hers, right?

You had been the one to fall for her, madly, deeply. You had looked at her and seen everything you could ever wish for. You wanted to shout her joy from the tallest tower of Nevermore to the deepest ravine in the woods. You wanted to court her, to hold her hand, to dine with her in the candlelight.

She had been more reserved with her affection. You are my employee. It wouldn’t be proper for people to know about us. And then there was the age difference. It had always disturbed her more than it did you (although she hadn’t seemed so disturbed by it when your head was buried deep between her thighs). What is a young thing like you doing with an old woman like myself? You should go find someone to build a family with, she had told you multiple times. And every time you told her that Nevermore was all the family you needed, and that she was everything you wanted. Had that been annoying? It was the truth.

She smells like lemongrass and sleep She tastes like apple juice and peach Oh, you would find her in a polaroid picture And she means everything to me

  Going back to your usual work routine was unsettling. You went through the motions of your life as if you were sleepwalking, trapped in a bad dream. Re-shelving books, sending out emails, helping both students and fellow staff-members in their researches. The weekly meetings of the book club. They all felt familiar, and yet you couldn’t find comfort in any of those activities, that you used to love so much. It was as if you had left with her all of your ability to love anything else as well. And yet you powered through, with the determination of a machine that was only there to get its work done. Because anything else was now lost to her. How could you walk through the woods and not think of her carefree smile? How can you enjoy a sip of apple juice without remembering how it tasted on her lips?

Oh, oh

The meetings were the most difficult part of all. The first ones were staff meetings, and you somehow managed to get through those by sitting in the furthermost corner from her, letting your eyes roam all over her figure whenever she wasn’t looking in your direction. She looked perfect, as always. She was poised and attentive to her colleagues, ready to discuss the decisions that involved them and the school, always taking constructive criticism in stride, diplomatically mediating between arguing teachers with the ease of a natural leader.

Oh, oh

Had it been slipping when the two of you were together? Were the secret smiles that danced in her eyes when they met yours a sign of distraction, a weakness that would have been exploited in the long run?

She didn’t look any different in how she ran the school now.

The few meetings the two of you had to have together were painful. You stuttered through your reports, and forget to ask half of the things you needed to. After a while she just stopped inviting you for in-person meetings and asked you to submit the reports per email.

You retreated even more than usual into your reign, the library, and watched the seasons change from behind its stained glass windows.

And I'll be okay Admiring from afar Cause even when she's next to me We could not be more far apart

  “Happy birthday.”

She looked awkward, looming in the darkened library door without entering, her gaze suddenly shy, and that felt wrong. She’d never been shy. Not even when you were first together, she had always been the one to initiate contact. She had held your hand first, she had kissed you first. She had been the one to ask if you wanted to move your relationship further.

And she had been the one to put an end to it.

And now she was here, on the evening of your birthday, invading the one space that was safely yours, holding a small tray with a slice of peach cobbler from the Weathervane in her hand, as an offering. Your favorite. The fact that she remembered hurt you somewhat more. So whatever you had had not been completely erased from her memory. Did she remember all the other things, too? The things you whispered to her when she held you in the darkness if her room? Did she, and she managed to go on with her life as if nothing major had changed? As if it had been nothing more than a parenthesis in a novel. By then, you were used to the pain, and you let it wrap around you, like a dear friend who was becoming more familiar to you than her voice.

Cause she tastes like birthday cake, and storytime, and fall But to her I taste of nothing at all

  “Thanks.”

“Aren’t you going to celebrate?”

The small talk was painfully stilted, and you wondered why she was so adamant in pursuing it.

“Not much to celebrate, I’d rather stay here with my book.”

“We don’t see much of you outside of the library anymore.”

“I wonder why that is.”

A whiff of her perfume reached your nostrils and you almost keeled under the onslaught of memories. There had been a time when the faint undertones of lemongrass had clung to your clothes, so much so that you had enjoyed the illusion of bringing a piece of her with you all through the day. An illusion, like everything else.

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep She tastes like apple juice and peach You would find her in a polaroid picture

“Why are you here, principal Weems?”

She seemed to recoil from her title, and seeing that didn’t give you any of the vengeful satisfaction you had hoped for. You didn’t like seeing her in pain. You never wanted to be the cause of her pain.

You knew all too well how it felt to be hurt by the one you love.

Except she didn’t love you.

You were starting to think she never did. It had probably been lust, the sense of adventure, the thrill of the forbidden. A younger body to press herself into. Maybe some sort of affection, too. But not love. You had made peace with that.

  “I miss you.”

And she means everything to me

  “I…beg your pardon?”

“I know I don’t have any right to say so. Not after I…I ended things between us. But I do. I miss you. I miss our time together, I miss having you reading on my couch as I wrap up the last emails in the evening. I miss asking for your opinion, I miss raising my eyes from my laptop and finding yours on me, since I don’t know how long. I’m sorry.”

Yes she means everything to me

“I’m not. Sorry, that is.”

You saw her close her eyes, resignation and sadness warring on her beautiful, kind face. She’d always been kind, even when she had hurt you. That’s why it was so important for her to understand.

“You chose Nevermore. I get it. It should have never been a choice you should have had to make, but I am grateful for the affection you have showed me in the time we were together. It made me feel alive in a way I never did. I understand it wasn’t the same for you and really, it is okay. It was probably foolish of me, but I did give you my all, and I don’t blame you for not knowing what to do with it. It was my choice, and I would do it again. I still love you but it’s alright. I made peace with it.”

She means everything to me.

“You still…love me?”

You nodded, unable to speak anymore. She looked soft, and her gaze didn’t hold the pity you were afraid of seeing, not the annoyance you dreaded. In her eyes you could only read an overwhelming wonder, as she looked at you as if you had just performed a miracle in front of her. “But don’t you want someone else? Someone younger, freer, more like yourself? Someone that hasn’t hurt you?”

“I don’t want anyone else. You mean everything to me. Whether or not you like me back, apparently. Whether or not I am a distraction.”

“Darling I…” the words caught up in her throat as she cupped your cheek with her hand. You had almost forgotten her touch, too. And at the same time, it was as if she’d never left.

  “I love you too. The gods help me, I love you more than Nevermore.”

-

liked it? you can find more of my writings linked on my fanfiction masterlist