#i should not be spending my entire holiday break stressing about this!!!!

[kyurilin]

"plan ahead for a healthy and happy holiday" YES THANK YOU CVS I TRIED TO PLAN AHEAD BUT YOU DROPPED THE BALL ON REFILLING MY ADHD MEDS FOR THE THIRD TIME IN 2023 and frankly if they fuck me over again on today the 29th when they've told me since the 18th that it will be ready i will be punching a pharmacist for flat out lying :)

[lemonluvgirl]

Ok, so this idea just would not leave me alone. I told my husband about this idea for a three-chapter Everlark modern high school AU and he really liked it and told me I should write it. So, here is the first part.

August

Junior year

Panem HS

Another year, another seat in the back of the class next to the window. Another bland teacher introduction followed by the passing out of the class syllabus. Then come the dreaded icebreakers. 

Never mind that we live in a town of less than 3,000, or that our graduating class will have less than 200 members if every one of us manages to make it through the next two years of high school. And forget the fact that we’ve all been in the same grade together since kindergarten. Every single year our teachers insist on forcing us to ‘get to know each other’. 

If I don’t already know the favorite season and holiday of the person sitting next to me by now I probably never will. (It’s Delly Cartwright, and hers are summer and Christmas respectively) 

But everything about this class, about this day, hell, probably about this entire year will be completely predictable. The brains, like BT Latier will work their asses off to get top grades, and the sportos like Cato Anderson will try to copy their homework and cheat off them during tests. Girls like Galinda ‘Glimmer’ Franklin and Clove Moretti will ignore the no cell phones rule and regularly update their Twitter and Instagram during the lecture and will only get called out about 40% of the time. 

The rest of us will just muddle through, hopefully paying enough attention to pass the exams and avoid remedial tutoring in the library with Ms. Trinket who, contrary to first impressions, is not a vapid airhead who wears too much makeup and hairspray but in reality, is a total hard ass and does everything in her power to make sure the kids she tutors pass their classes. My life is all about reducing stress and hassle, so I’ll be avoiding her at all costs this year. Besides it’s much easier to just pass the first time around than have to deal with the fallout from failing. 

So I inwardly roll my eyes at the whole charade of introductions and do my best to try and look only mildly bored. 

When it gets to my turn I don’t bother standing up. 

“My name is Katniss Everdeen. I’m 17. I’m stubborn and good with a bow and that’s pretty much it.” I say dryly, and it gets a few chuckles. 

After that, the spotlight of my peer’s attention moves on and no one spares me a second glance. Which is exactly how I prefer it. Everyone here already knows I’m not very interesting. I hate the whole school spirit scene, and I’m not in any clubs or on any committees. The last time I was voluntarily a part of something, was five years ago. I quit track in middle school so I could spend more time hunting in the woods to supplement the money from my father’s income that we lost after his death. I’ve gotten so good at it that Mr. Abernathy, the owner of the local sporting goods store, took me on as a seasonal hire last summer. I parlayed that summer gig into a year-round job that helps keep food on my family’s table, and shoes on my little sister’s feet. 

My life is a series of responsibilities and expectations that my classmates could never relate to. And their lives are a carefree existence of parties, dances, and soap-opera drama that I have no interest in. 

They live in their little bubbles and I live in the real world and we will go on co-existing in this way until graduation breaks the cycle. 

I zone out of the rest of the class. We won’t do much work today if at all, so I allow myself the small indulgence of looking out the window and planning for this year’s hunting season which is set to open up for archery on the first of October. 

That leaves me only a few weeks to finish getting the permits and stock up on the needed supplies. 

This year will be harder than the years before since I’ll be hunting alone. My best friend and hunting partner, Gale Hawthorne, graduated and left for Maryland this past summer. He’ll be in Annapolis, training to become an officer and a marine while I’ll be up to my elbows in wild turkey and white-tail deer. 

Even though I’m happy for him, I can’t help but feel saddened by his absence. Now there will be no one to watch my back in the woods. No one to help me carry a hundred or more pound buck back if I manage to bring one down like I did two years ago. 

The only thing I can think of is maybe asking my boss, Haymitch if I can borrow his truck and if I can rig up a travois then—

The bell rings and I’m snapped out of my thoughts by the shuffle of feet and the whoops of excitement and laughter that my classmates let out at the sound of the last period ending. 

I pick up my old hunter-green JanSport, that’s due for another patch of duck tape soon, sling it over one shoulder and make my way to the door. 

My exit is delayed by the clump of jocks jostling each other playfully around the doorframe. I breathe out an annoyed huff as I wait for them to pass. 

One of them, one of the kinder ones, turns around and shoots me an apologetic look, bright, clear blue eyes shine back at me for a moment before his friends call his attention and pull him roughly behind them. A piece of folded-up paper falls out of the side pocket of his backpack in the midst of this and lands at my feet. 

I swoop down to pick it up and my mouth opens to call out his name but the words died on my lips before they can slip off my tongue. 

I catch sight of something completely unexpected when I automatically glance down at the paper in my hand. It's the letters K.E. inscribed neatly on the corner that spark my curiosity and prompt my hand to open up the folded paper to see what’s inside. 

I lose my ability to speak, to even think for a moment because it’s me. 

I’m staring down at a picture of my own face, straight dark hair pulled back into an unseen braid that hangs down my back, while a few stray pieces fall around my eyes, framing an oval-shaped face, dark brows perch surreptitiously over slanted grey eyes and a straight nose above a generous mouth that’s for once not tilted down into a frown, but is instead caught in a relaxed position, not quite smiling but something like the ghost of it, is settled on my lips. And my head is tilted to the side, curiously. 

I have no idea when he caught me making this expression. Maybe when I was looking out the window? When did he draw this? Why did he draw this? Is this some sort of practice for art class? I think he takes Ms. Portia’s intermediate art class at the same time I take shop. I’ve seen him going into that wing of the school because it’s right across from the shop building. Maybe he’s just practicing his life study skills. Maybe he’s taking turns drawing everyone in our history class. 

I move forward and stick my head out the door, calling out, “Peeta,” but the hallway is empty. 

I look back down at the drawing in my hand and fold it back up carefully, before slipping it into the most secure pocket of my backpack, thinking I’ll give it back to him tomorrow.

[candy8448]

GCSE ADVISE FOR CLASS OF 2025/current year 10s

This is a copy and paste from a group chat i have with some yr 10 friends so if there are teacher names from my school, ignore them

Website, resources and youtube channel names will be highlighted in orange

More subject specific advise on my GCSE rambles masterlist

------

1. you should seriously start revising from now

At the start of the year i didnt care about revision so i didnt do anything till our first mocks rolled around and then tried to cram an entire year and few months of content for every subject in 2 weeks and i didnt get it in time. And during the easter holidays i spent so much time revising to catch up before gcses that i fell into a depressive episode so start revising slowly from now and over the summer holiday to save your emotions later

2. Rest is gonna be more important than revision at times

Especially towards the lead up to your real gcses if you need a break, savrifice revision for having a break or sleep it will do you better, but make sure you have/will do enough revision in time

3. Your first mocks will be this year's gcse papers but don't cheat and look up the questions, especially for english because that will do you no good because the mocks are meant to help you practice analysis on the spot in total exam conditions

4. Do practice papers, especially for science and maths this will help you the most. Do it in english as well if you are not so good at analysis or essay writing. If ur bad at essay writingf, practice writing and give it to the teachers, if youre bad at on the spot analysis, then juust bring up a bunch of practice quuestions and just play your essay. Dont write the essay, just keep planning a bunch so you develop that skill better

5. Gcses really aren't too bad. Sure they are a bit stressful when you are doing the exams that you need for a levels, but they are still not as bad as people might say. Also dont let your mocks make you worry. My mocks were a TON harder than the real thing. Dunno if that is cuuz i got better or what but dont fret about what you got in your mocks and just use it to know what to revise next

6. I dont know what order hiistory is going to be taught in, but ask mr millen or mr crozier what unit you are going to study last and during your breaks, try to study that unit yourself. We didnt have time to cover elizabeth and only covered one enquiry of content out of three so i had to spend the entire weekend teaching myself the unit from scratch so maybe try studying that unit yourself throughout the year so you dont run out of time and have to cram a ton of new content in 2 days

@Cognito is a great channel for science revision. Ive used the "entire [bio/chem/phys] paper [1/2] in 30 mins" videos so much for revision. Its efficient and labels triple and combined topics so you know which bits to ignore and such. They also have other exam boards and not just aqa

@freesciencelessons ive heard is really good but ii hardly used it, but its good for going into detail for certain topics

Also for science, make revision cards during or closely after your science lesson to save yourself time. Makig the revision cards took so much time and took away time fron actually revising from them so if you make them during school hours then you have time to revise from them.

Also getting a bunch of questions or opening a textbook and makig questions up about it to ask your friends helps both of you revise really well, especially as last minute reviisiion.

Questions like "what iis the name of the instrumental method for the flame test" (that is paper 2 so you wouldnt have pearned iit yet but questions like that)

Litcharts is the best for english revision, it has detailed notes for every single english text you would have ever done and the poems. Its also layed out in a really good way, especially best on desktop.

You dont need to pay the subscription because the things it gives for free are more than enough. I mainly used this website for the poems

@Mr salles has good videos for english. I used this channel a lot because he gives very nuanced ideas that work so well as well as advise that helps a lot with general essay writing and such.

Ive also heard tgat @everythingenglish and @mrbruff are super good. Ive used mrbruff for last minute poetry revision the day before our lit paper 2 because he has really good analysis of each poem in five minutes which i used for all the poems i was not confident in at all

Also for english, learn how the mark scheme works. If you know exactly what the examiners want, that is basically half of your marks.

One key advise i try to remember is to analyse the form and structure of the text or poems. That will get you many more marks and very quickly push you to the top bands withiut being too dificult. Just talk about the way the paragraohs are done, or ciclical structure

MME, This website is very good for maths revision. I despise maths and do worst in maths so this helped me learn entire topics in a few minutes when i couldnt in a few weeks of lessons.

What i did was go through all of my old books since yr 8 or yr 9 and just write down a list of every topic i wasnt 100% confident in. And then went through one by one and learned them again, and made revision cards on them

Also for revisioncards to save time, i litterally just tore out some bits from my maths book tgat had the information layed out well.

Also dont fret if there are one or two topics you just cannot understand. If you cannot do completing the square for the life of you, then just screw it, at most it will be 5 marks on one of the papers. Dont do this for too many subjects but if tgere are one or two you just cannot do, thhen ignore it.

Also if you are aiming for a grade 6, all you need to do is get 100% on the first 13 questions on each of the 3 papers. That will get you ceazy close to grade 6, and then complete the rest of the paper and you've probably gotten it

I HATE CGP's books, they judt never work for me cuz i hate how they are layed out buut for hostory it is tge one textbook that actually worrks from them. Ive found this text book so helpful, more than youtube videos. Mr millen gave all of our yeargroup one of these for free but i dont know if he will for your year. Ask him, but dont buy it if you find out he is just gonna give you one

I think that's about it. I dont have anything for frnech because i honestly just winged it and did no revision, but you should probably practice it for good measure

There is a perfect amount of stress where you will work the best. Too little stress and you wont do as well, too much stress and you wont work as well. First mocks i was fretting, but second mocks i went into each exam calmly and did much better, and same with the real thing.

I did slack off on the last history exam and physics exam because those were my last two exams, but i wish i did work a bit more on those instead of just give up

You will never feel more comradery with the entire country of year 11s than you will when you finally sit those real exams

Good luck next year!

[rocorambles]

Home Schooling

Pairing: Stepdaddy!Meian x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, Pseudo-Cest, NSFW, Invasion of Privacy, Overbearing and Controlling Behavior, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Non-Con/Rape, Degradation, Overstimulation, Humiliation

Summary: Why would Meian let you go to college in Tokyo when he can teach you everything you need to know right here in Osaka?

A/N: Happy birthday @iwaasfairy ! Of course I need to dedicate my first ever Meian fic to you on this very special day~ I hope this fic manifests a real life DILF Meian for you!!!

Meian has always been protective, even before your mother’s untimely demise. You remember how uncomfortable you had been about this handsome man waltzing into your family home one day, acting like a father figure almost since day one. Only your love for your mother and your desire for her to find happiness again kept your mouth shut, although when she wasn’t in view, you not so subtly found ways to keep your contact with the older man as minimal as possible.

There’s nothing necessarily “wrong” with Meian. In all honesty, if he weren’t so overwhelmingly involved with your life, you’d even argue that he’s a great guy. You can tell he truly cares for your mom, maybe even loves her— although you gag at the cheeky winks and flirtatious touches they generously dote on each other in front of you. And you’re happy for her! You really are. It’s been a long time since you’ve been forced to rely only on yourselves, only on each other. You’ve seen how hard she’s tried, keeping a strong front whenever you’re around, working twice as hard as anyone else to try and fill the aching hole in both your hearts from the loss of your father. If anyone deserves happiness, it’s her.

But there’s something unnerving, even aggravating, about the way Meian interferes with every aspect of your life. You can’t help a strange foreboding feeling twisting inside of you as a heavy gaze trails after you wherever you go, as he begins to rope you into every conversation he has with your mother, almost demanding and insistent about not letting you withdraw to your room despite your well-meaning wishes to give them their privacy.

You try to be on your best behavior, not wanting to be the reason your mom’s new relationship is ruined, especially when you can see just how much she likes him. But every time he opens his mouth and questions everything you do, everything you wear, and everything you say, you can feel your temper rise, wondering where his audacity to act as a father figure comes from.

It’s easy enough to retreat to your room, closing your door and sighing in relief as you escape those sharp eyes. You find comfort in the fact that you have at least one safe place he can’t breach, finding false security in the hope that he’d never invade an adult woman’s bedroom. Except he does, and your heart drops when you notice the miniscule adjustments in your room — your underwear drawer slightly ajar with some pieces missing, your bedsheets slightly rumpled in a way you know you hadn’t left them this morning. Things you know you could never bring up to your mother without sounding like a madwoman. So without irrefutable proof, you keep quiet, knowing that at least there’s not much more time left before you can truly run away from all of this.

Being an adult comes with many responsibilities and adventures, and together, your mother and you pore over myriads of college pamphlets, debating which locations make the most sense, planning how you’re going to make the finances work, and thinking about which colleges have the courses best suited for you. It’s a fun and stressful rollercoaster, but you beam when your mother proudly ruffles your hair, when you both agree on you leaving Osaka behind and adventuring out, creating new memories and beginnings in a different city.

(“Plus, I’ll be able to visit you and play tourist”, your mom excitedly says, and you giggle, letting her affectionately hold you as you stare at the universities you’ve narrowed your choices down to.)

The future seems bright and exciting as you studiously sit down and scan over textbooks and practice exams, dutifully attending your tutoring sessions, cramming for the college entrance exam. It’s all going to plan, except Meian has different opinions. And this time, you can’t hold back the scowl when he yet again goes on and on about how he doesn’t understand why you can’t just stay in Osaka for college.

It’s not a new argument by any means. Just the same few questions being twisted and worded differently and tossed back in your face on a daily basis.

“Don’t you think your mom will be lonely if you move away and only come back for the holidays?”

“Isn’t that what you’re here for? To keep her company?”

“Don’t you feel bad about spending your mom’s carefully saved money on room and board when you could just continue living with us instead and just pay tuition?”

You silently thank your mom when she steps in, firmly telling Meian that she doesn’t mind, that this is exactly why she’s saved up.

But the arguments keep on coming, and you can feel the tension growing in your household, your own stomach churning with guilt and worry, wondering if you’ll end being the cause of their breakup after all as you constantly hear their raised voices going back and forth about you leaving or staying in Osaka.

So despite your discomfort and wariness towards Meian, you can’t help the relieved grin that stretches across your face when your mom comes squealing to you, flinging her arms around your body and shoving her gorgeous engagement ring in your face. You even muster up a slightly tight smile, that only feels a little forced, as you look to the tall man who leans in the doorway, muttering congratulations before directing your attention back to your mom, fondly smiling as she continues raving about her new piece of jewelry, ignoring the way Meian continues to loiter around the both of you.

Your mom is the most beautiful bride as she walks down the aisle and you stare in awe at how she glows, hoping one day you’ll look even remotely as mesmerizing as she does. And while you look on, star-eyed and in wonder, at the woman who had raised you, you miss the way dark eyes intently gaze at you, eyes that should be on the woman he’s about to publicly vow to be with his entire life.

Maybe if you had been more aware, more cautious, you wouldn’t have so eagerly waved both of them off on their honeymoon, wouldn’t have been so excited to shove your mom towards the airport, giving her one last hug and kiss before sillily demanding that she enjoy herself and have the best time of her life.

Maybe then your heart wouldn’t be shattered into a thousand tiny pieces as you collapse in Meian’s strong arms, sobbing uncontrollably and shaking your head in denial when he returns by himself and breaks the news of your mother’s passing.

You delay going to college in Tokyo for a year, allowing yourself time and space to grieve. Or so you had planned, but it seems that Meian has no intention of letting you have your privacy. You share the house with him after your mother’s funeral, unable to argue against him completely moving in when he now owns the property.

He’s still up to his usual overbearing ways, although his tone is softer as he treats you like a wounded animal, carefully handling you as he rouses you from your sleep in the mornings, startling you the first few times he sits on the edge of your bed and wakes you up by tenderly stroking your cheek, preparing all your meals for you and scolding you when he thinks you haven’t eaten enough. It’s almost frightening how easily you fall into his rhythm, not even flinching after a while when his large hand finds itself on your face, your shoulder, your back, your hand, your thigh. Tiny, seemingly platonic touches border the line of what’s appropriate for a guardian and their ward. Although, deep down, you know the two of you are diving in dangerous territory when you feel his knuckle brush against the swell of your ass briefly, his calloused fingertips quickly skimming your breasts, his palm squeezing just a tad too high up your thigh.

But you seek any remaining softness your mother had instilled in your heart for a man who’s lost his wife of just a few days, letting your new guardian (you don’t dare call him father) do as he pleases, not wanting to deal with any more conflict when your heart is still mending. And maybe, just maybe, you find some solace in his touches, in the love he forces upon you, seeking even just a hint of the parental affection your mother had bestowed upon you.

Time heals all wounds, or so they say. You can’t agree that it resolves everything, but you can admit that you’re feeling much better now that a year is almost up, ready to move on, live your life, and make your mother proud. You start re-looking into Tokyo housing, comparing the expenses of living off-campus versus living in the dorms, typing and reworking budgets over and over again in your Excel sheet until your eyes burn and you let out a huge yawn.

Coffee now. Budgets later.

You trudge to the kitchen, brewing a fresh pot of dark caffeinated liquid, letting out a pleased sound when the aroma fills the air, happily making your way back to your room to revisit some of your calculations, mug in hand. But you freeze when you see Meian sitting at your desk, clicking through the different tabs of apartment and dorm options you had been looking at, scrutinizing your planned expenses.

There’s no reason for the guilt that claws at your chest when you see the way his jaw clenches as he turns to look at you, hurt in his eyes as he silently demands an explanation for what he’s looking at. But it’s guilt that has you slamming down the mug on your desk and planting your firsts on your hips in a confrontational stance, that has defensive angry words spewing from your lips as you yell at him for invading your privacy, that has you storming towards him and trying to shove his much larger and stronger frame away from your computer.

But it’s futile and you gasp when you’re pulled into his lap, his hands easily pinning you to him and holding you still as he holds you in a mockery of an embrace, your back against his toned chest, his mouth right against your ear.

“You were just going to leave for Tokyo without telling me?”

You want to stay angry, want to continue twisting and fighting against his grip. But the vulnerability you hear in his words has you staying still, has you anxiously biting your lower lip as you try and find the right words to soothe the man clutching you.

“I- I didn’t think I needed to tell you anything. This was always the plan. You knew I only put off attending college for a year to take some time for myself. But I’ll come back and visit during the holidays-”

Your words are cut off by a pained gasp as thick arms tighten their hold on you, but the growled threat in your ear has your anger bubbling over, masking any other feeling.

“You’re not leaving.”

The matter of fact tone, the final decisiveness of the words, the way Meian leaves no room for discourse or arguments, has you lashing out at him and before you can second guess yourself, the position you’re in, or the difference in power between the two of you. In a matter of seconds, you’re snarling right back at him.

“You’re not my father! You can’t tell me what I can or can’t do.”

Righteous pride swells in your chest and you spare him a sharp, wicked grin, haughtily tilting your head up condescendingly, basking in the viciousness of your words. But what you aren’t expecting is the hearty laugh he responds with, something dark and gleeful swirling in his eyes as a cruel smile cuts across his face.

“You’re right. I’m not your father, not even your guardian. So this is fine, right?”

You scream as the arms still wrapped around you haul you up, your limbs thrashing and flailing as you try to force your way free from his iron grip to no avail. Fear and anger make you hysteric as you register the fact that you’re quickly approaching the room that once belonged to your mother, the room Meian now resides in. Disbelief and nausea overtake you when you’re assaulted by the familiar four walls as you’re haphazardly tossed onto the bed, sobbing as memories of your mother surround you and invade your thoughts while calloused hands easily tear your clothes off your body.

But you’re immediately silenced, sobs turning into choked whimpers as a large hand grabs the bottom half of your face, fingers digging into your cheeks, a palm suctioning your mouth shut.

“Where are all those manners your mother taught you? What would she think if she heard you throwing a temper tantrum like a child?”

The callousness of his words hits you like a ton of bricks. Meian smirks at the new round of fat, watery drops that stream down your face, mockingly cooing down at you, calling you a good girl, praising your newfound silence as his hand slowly drags down until it's wrapped around your neck, where he lightly squeezes, reveling in the adorable whimper you release.

But as pathetically amusing as you are, sniveling and choking under him, there’s more that he’s keen on seeing. You feel like a slab of meat under his observant gaze. Prized meat, but meat all the same as he runs his hands across your figure like a butcher testing the firmness of his livestock, pinching and prodding almost methodically, coldly. Only the amusement and hunger in his eyes are indicative of how much this is truly affecting him. Yet it’s tolerable, barely, if you just stare up at the ceiling, pretending you’re at an incredibly invasive medical exam.

He’d be offended by how hard you’re trying to ignore him if it weren’t for the telltale signs of your arousal that you desperately try to deny. He grins at how your nipples harden from just a few teasing circles, how your clit stands to attention, your pretty folds already beginning to glisten as he pets your velvety walls. You’re even more beautiful than he had imagined after watching you prance around the home in your skimpy loungewear. And suddenly, his pants are far too tight, cock straining uncomfortably against the fabric he’s quick to rip off. It’s music to his ears when you shakily say his name over and over again, as you try and resist the way he forces himself between your legs, hands spreading your thighs apart, toned body pinning you down, something hard nudging at your tight entrance.

“Meian, please. Please! Please, Meian.”

He ignores your tears, ignores the other words of resistance that slip past your mouth, head dipping down to your mouth and neck, kissing and marking every part of you he can reach, murmuring for you to call him by his first name. And when he loses patience with your whining, you finally acquiesce as he forcefully shoves himself balls deep inside you, a sneer ruining his handsome face as he lightly slaps your face in approval when you wail his first name, “Shugo” howled in an agonizing exclamation as you try to somehow dislodge him from ripping you in two.

“Look at that, the little slut can behave when she wants to. I bet your mother would be so proud.”

You hate how he drags your mom’s name in the ground as he defiles you, violates you in the bed they had once shared. You hate how his large frame feels crushing you, overpowering you, making you feel so incredibly helpless and weak. But mostly, you hate the slick lewd sounds your pussy makes as he pounds hard and fast into you, the undeniable proof that your body doesn’t hate this nearly as much as it should. Hot angry disgusted tears roll down your face as you glare up at him, desperately fighting back the rising moans threatening to humiliate you even more.

Your little defiant attitude is punished by Meian thrusting even harder into you, practically bending you in half as he pushes down on the back of your thighs, forcing you into a mating press. And he laughs at your wrecked face, hungrily taking in the way your eyes roll back in your head, the way your jaw drops wide open, your tongue and rivulets of drool trickling down your face, wanton moans loudly filling the room.

“For all your whining and complaining, you sure do look like you’re enjoying this, sweetheart.”

You wish you could deny his words, retort back with a scathing remark, do anything really. But when he reaches a hand between the two of you and rubs rapid circles against your erect clit, hips still pistoning against yours, cock stuffing you full, your mind blanks and an animal-like howl tears through the room as your body convulses, pussy walls clamping down and quivering as you cream all over the shaft still dragging against your sensitive walls, only heightening your peak.

Meian briefly wonders if this is what heaven feels like (or as close to heaven as someone like him is going to get) as he groans at the way your velvety walls milk his cock, gritting his teeth to not be dragged over the edge with you. He’s not delusional to think that any of this is right, the photo of his ex-wife, your mother silently watching you from the nightstand only emphasizing just how wrong this all is, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not when you’re a fucked out mess underneath him, so obediently and submissively slurring his name over and over again, drowning in pleasure and bliss.

There’s nothing more he wants than to just lose himself in the feeling of your tight walls, to fill you, mark you, claim you with his seed, but he’s not quite ready for a full house just yet. He has a few more years alone with you all planned out in his head before he breeds your pretty little womb. So just as his control teeters on the edge, he pulls out of you, casually sitting back and spreading his legs, slowly stroking his cock as he orders you to come and suck him off.

He’s almost proud of the little fight you still have left in you, lips quirking upwards at the way you try to ignore him, trying to look anywhere but at him. But his balls are almost painfully tight, his cock aching for release.

“Suck me off like a good girl or I’m going to cum inside of you over and over again until you’re knocked up. Bet your mother would have loved that for you. Her precious college-bound girl turned into a pregnant uneducated whore.”

It’s an empty threat, but you don’t ever need to know that, not when it has you obeying so well as he threads his fingers through your hair, groaning as your hot wet mouth sinks down on his cock still covered in your essence. All it takes is a few harsh shoves of your face, his hand pulling you up and down like a warm fleshlight, and as he finally reaches his end, he completely pulls you off, arching your neck back in a way that leaves your mouth open as he spurts thick white stripes all over your face and in your orifice.

You make to wipe your face, grateful at least that this is all over, but before you can move even an inch, you yelp as you’re shoved back down on your back, hands instinctively trying to push at broad shoulders as your legs are once again forced open. You’re a quick learner though, and with one dark warning look from the man whose face is now hovering over your spent hole, you instantly bring your hands down to your sides, clawing and fisting the ruined bed sheets instead as Meian ravenously licks and laps at your dripping cunt. The disgusting wet sounds echo in your ears as pleasure and shame swirl inside of you, a crescendo ascending too quickly, too high.

But your thrashing and blissed out pleas to stop, to let you rest, only serve to whet Meian’s appetite even more. Time becomes surreal and meaningless as you drown and float in a mixture of pain and pleasure, brought to climax over and over again until you feel boneless, your pussy and body ceaselessly twitching, mind broken beyond repair as you babble incoherently, unsure of anything except the lips and tongue at work between your thighs.

You cum one last time, body barely moving aside from a slight shudder, too worn out, too dazed to even comprehend the fact that Meian unravels himself from you, wiping his face of your arousal and taking a few swigs of water before making his way towards your desk and dialing the admissions office number he finds. And as the phone rings and he leans back in your chair, he adoringly gazes at the sinful display you make, looking like the epitome of debauchery as your body splays out, a stupid blissed out expression on your face, reeking of sex and sweat.

He strokes his cock as it rises back to life, raring to go again as he licks his lips, tasting your sweet juices on his tongue, never stopping even when a voice finally comes through the line. He only pauses slightly to bite back a laugh when something shatters in your pretty eyes, a sliver of realization piercing through your dazed look as you hone in on his conversation.

But you do nothing to stop him, unable to do anything but listlessly stare and watch as he cancels your enrollment in front of you, hangs up the phone, and casually makes his way back towards you as if he hadn’t ruined years of hard work and decimated your future plans in mere minutes.

“There’s no need to go all the way to Tokyo for education, sweetheart. Not when I can teach you everything you need to know right here. Now open up your mouth so we can get your first lesson started.”

[from-a-reckless-writer]

Supercorp - 49 please

Jess has been with her ever since the beginning of time. It might sound like an exaggeration but it really isn't.

Jess was already assigned with her ever since she was the Junior VP of LuthorCorp's Research division back when Lionel was still alive.

And when Lex inevitably drove the whole company into ruin and forced Lena into the limelight as CEO, Jess remained by her side.

So, really, Lena couldn't refuse Jess's resignation letter when it came, finally telling Lena that she wants to expand her horizons. Lena was beyond happy to hear that Jess was interested in going to grad school and finishing her Master's that's been put on hold. At the same time though, she also doesn't know how to let her go. It might sound a little selfish to keep Jess all to herself, but Lena's sure she's going to die the moment, Jess leaves her office.

But of course, Lena let her go, with a hefty final pay and a promise that Jess always has a place with L-Corp.

So truthfully, she doesn't have a problem with Jess leaving, what she does have a problem with, though, is Jess's replacement.

Jess made sure to choose the best of the best from L-Corp's array of eager interns.

Which means Lena has to work with the smartest, kindest, most fucking beautiful intern to ever grace her office.

How inconvenient.

"I'm her boss," she snipes at Sam, for the nth time that night. It's been 6 months of this. Of Kara coming into her office and making Lena's shitty day, less shitty. Of Kara being the most caring person in Lena's life. Of Kara somehow making Lena eat three full meals a day and getting her to sleep on time. Of Kara making her fall and fall, deeper and deeper.

Of Lena trying hard to suppress every little feeling she has when it comes to Kara by whining about it to her friends.

It's been 6 months of this and now it's Christmas and Kara is looking more and more tempting as the evening passes.

"Right, because that hasn't happened before." Sam rolls her eyes. "I haven't seen you look at another woman this way ever, Lena."

"Again," Lena stresses. "I'm her boss. As in, she works for me. She answers calls for me and she arranged this goddamn Christmas party."

"Then fire her," Andrea deadpans, taking a sip from her champagne flute, arm casually wrapped around Sam.

"Mm. I second that idea." Of course, they're ganging up on her. That's their favorite past time--making Lena's love life a source of entertainment.

"Remind me why I'm even talking to the both of you?"

"Because, you've fallen in love for the first time in your life and you don't know what to do because you're emotionally constipated due to family issues and it's Christmas and Kara's standing right there and I'm pretty sure you want to pull her under the mistletoe and we're the only ones who can help," Sam impressively lets out all in one breath.

"I hate you."

"We love you too, Lena," Andrea automatically responds. "Now, go tell Kara she's now unemployed because you want to rail her for the rest of the night."

"You can do it, sweetie. We believe in you." Sam raises her glass in solidarity.

"The both of you should be ashamed of yourselves." Lena glares at the both of them. "Christ, railing..." she murmurs under her breath at the same time she looks up from her drink and into Kara's eyes across the ballroom floor. Kara gives her a small wave, picks up her champagne float as if to toast, Lena raises her drink in turn.

Kara smiles. Lena flushes.

She's going to blame it on the alcohol when Andrea starts to ask.

Kara is on the other side of the ballroom floor, chatting up one of Lena's tech and bioinformatics staff, Wilfred? Winslow?

Whatever his name is, but Kara doesn't seem to be paying any attention, Lena keeps catching her looking at where she is every 5 seconds.

"Lena, for the love of God, stop with the eye-fucking already. If you aren't going to woman up, I'm gonna get Kara over here myself."

Lena knows Sam isn't kidding with her threat. Sam raises her brow in that 'Well, what are you going to do about it?' way that she always does.

"Fire her and get it over with. I heard Cat Grant is hiring."

"Oh my god, you two! Stop it already, I am not going to fire her, and I am not going to break moral code and for the love of God, I DON'T WANT TO RAIL KARA DANVERS, OKAY?!"

She breathes in deep, her heart pounding from her little outburst. Sam's eyes is twice in size and Andrea's lips bitten in an attempt to hold everything in, her left brow twitching.

"What?" Lena grits. "Why are you looking at me like-"

"Ms. Luthor." Somebody taps her on the shoulder and Lena is confronted with the reason why her friends are completely silent all of a sudden.

"Kara," she whispers in horror.

"Uhm." Kara fidgets with the her dress. "I was wondering if I could take a moment of your time? I want to talk with you about something."

Lena clenches and unclenches her fist and tries to rein it in. Fuck, did Kara hear?

"Is it urgent?"

"Uhm yes, sort of," Kara mumbles. And then more nervously, "I promise, it'll be quick!"

"Alright," Lena acquiesces, heart running a mile a minute. She follows Kara and doesn't dare glance back at Sam and Andrea. She doesn't really want to hear what they have to say about the whole turn of events.

Kara leads them out into the empty balcony, National City gleaming brighter than ever before them.

The jazz notes of the holiday serenade from the ballroom fades out and becomes replaced with the soft quiet of the falling snow instead.

"What did you want to talk about, Kara?" Lena dares to ask, goosebumps running along her arm at the cold.

"I, uhm promise me you won't be angry after I tell you?" Kara says, almost a whisper, a plea.

What could be so bad that Kara looks so afraid at the moment?

"I promise, Kara." The words waiting on the tip of her tongue. Eager to give Kara whatever she needs.

"Okay, okay here it goes, okay," Kara mutters under her breath, hands wringing nervously, clearly itching to fiddle with her glasses.

"I want to leave L-Corp."

Lena's heart plummets.

"What?"

Kara steps forward, looks down at the ground and then back to her.

"I- I want to resign. I want to leave L-Corp. I've been thinking about it for a few months now, and I've finally made up my mind. I wanted you to know in advance. I'll be passing a formal letter to HR in January."

Kara's eyes are so blue under the moonlight and her words are chasing each other around in Lena's head. Kara wants to leave. Kara has been thinking about leaving for months.

And here Lena was, expecting her to stick around for forever.

"Why? I thought you were happy at L-Corp? What could possibly be the reason for you to want to leave?"

I thought you were happy with me?

Lena can't help it, the question comes out of her lips without her permission and she can't take it back.

She thought Kara was happy spending time with her, working with her.

But what Kara says next turns Lena's entire world upside down in a heartbeat.

"You," Kara answers.

Everything slows. Time stops and all Lena can see is Kara and only Kara.

"I want to leave. I need to leave. Because of you, Lena. I'm in love with you, Lena."

Lena's first thought is, Fucking hell Andrea and Sam are gonna insufferable after this. Her second being, KARA'S IN LOVE WITH ME, KARA'S IN LOVE WITH ME, KARA'S IN LOVE WI-

"I'm in love with you. And I think you feel something for me too," Kara utters softly.

"And, I also know how much you value L-Corp and how everybody perceives you and I don't want to start something between us, if it would cost you more than it would cost me," Kara tells her reverently, finally closing the gap and taking Lena's shaking hands into hers.

"Oh, God, Kara, I love you too. God, this is crazy, I love you too. I'm so in love with you."

Lena doesn't even feel the cold, all she feels is this crazy, dizzying rush of happiness at finally being able to say what she's been feeling. And to hear it said back to her.

God, is this what it feels like?

Kara is smiling so wide and it takes a moment for Lena to realize that she is, too. She's smiling so hard her cheeks are hurting.

"I really want to kiss you now."

"I really want you to kiss me now, too, Ka-"

She doesn't even get to finish.

Kara presses their lips together and Lena tastes the cinnamon of Kara's lip gloss, because of course, she's the kind of girl who would wear cinnamon chapstick for Christmas.

They're both smiling too hard to kiss properly for the first time.

Lena breaks away for a moment, only to kiss her again for the second time. This time, deeper, more passionate. 6 months of pent-up emotions and want and love.

"To be clear, you love me, you're not going to fire me and you don't want to rail me??"

"I am never going to let Andrea and Sam near you ever again."

prompts list here

[hockeyboysiguess]

a partridge in a pear tree -> a jersey under the tree | b. boeser

a/n: happy december 1st everyone and welcome to the first day of 12 days of christmas! as a reminder here is the whole list. these will be posted every other day through christmas eve. this one is where this whole thing started, a gift for my bestie bae, the apple to my peanut butter forever, @brockadoodles​​. i hope you like it most of all!

word count: 3,740

wine drink pairing recommendation: hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows

warnings: pregnancy. some seriously wholesome content.

You took a deep breath and pulled the sleeves of your sweater over your hands, then pushed them back up again when you started pulling at the threads at the edge. Your sweater didn’t deserve to take the brunt of your stress in that moment. You bounced your foot up and down nervously instead as you waited what had to have been the longest three, absolutely agonizing minutes of your life. When the timer on your phone went off, you lurched forward to grab it, turning it off, as your other hand reached for the small, plastic test. You took a deep, centering breath before glancing down at the word in the small window.

Pregnant. 

You were actually pregnant. You knew everything had felt wrong for a few weeks now, food didn't taste the same or sit right, you were absolutely exhausted all of the time, and you had snapped at Brock a time or two for well-meaning actions. You knew something was wrong, but your mom had been the one to have to tell you to take a test before going to the doctor’s. You had told her it wasn’t possible; you and Brock were doing the opposite of trying since you had only gotten married over the summer. You agreed to wait. That single word, which came with a lifetime behind it, wasn’t in the plan for another few years, but it was here now and it would be your reality in seven short months. 

How were you going to tell Brock? 

You knew he would be overwhelmed, his eyes glazing over as the timeline of his life abruptly shifted forward several years, yanking him right along with it. You knew Brock though; you wouldn’t have married him if you didn’t know him as well as you did. You knew that glazed over look would give way into a smile so broad it practically broke across his face. The waiting a few years, the shattered plan, was mostly you with a dash of Brock trying to make you happy. If you suddenly changed your mind and wanted to try for a baby tomorrow, unnecessary now, he would’ve dragged you to bed that instant. In full truth, your husband had baby fever as soon as he slid the wedding band onto your finger, probably before that really. Brock was going to be over the moon. You didn’t have any doubts about it, you really just needed to get yourself on board with this more than anything, this new timeline. 

You grabbed your phone, fingers hovering over Brock’s name in your contacts. You debated calling him then, letting the nervous words spill out of your mouth, letting him wash away your concerns with words of love and affirmation. But you knew Brock. You knew Brock wanted the cliché, cute surprise. His scavenger hunt of a proposal set the standard for how big news was delivered, a cliché bang of sorts. You were more of a whimper than a bang sort of person, but you could lean into the cliché of it all for him.

Instead of calling him, you dropped your phone into your purse and grabbed your keys, needing to make a last minute trip in order to make this happen before he got home later that day from his road trip for the Christmas break. Two stores and one confused holiday worker later, you had everything you needed for your last minute announcement, letting the excitement of the anticipation of seeing Brock’s happiness calm your nerves in place of him doing it in only the way he knew how. Slowly but surely, as you carefully wrapped everything up, you could feel yourself getting more excited, hands shaking a little as you wrapped. A family with Brock was always the real plan; everything else was secondary, including the timing of it all. 

You and Brock had found each other by chance, a complete accident four years prior to the day actually. A department store the day before Christmas was a terrible place to be, but it was the only place in your area that said they had the last gift you needed before you could head off to spend Christmas with your family. You spotted it in the store, the last one on the shelf, and made a beeline for it. As your hand reached for it, a large hand reached for the item as well, grabbed onto it the same time you did. You both recoiled, and turned to face each other. 

You would have been furious with him if it wasn’t for the everything about him when you saw him. Blond hair peeking out from a gray beanie on his head, blue eyes that reminded you of the sky the morning after a snowstorm, bright and beautiful, and a small baby in his arms who was already reaching out for your hair, even though he didn’t know you at all. 

“Whoa, Easty, don’t grab the pretty girl’s hair,” he laughed as he intercepted the baby’s hand on its way to fist into your hair. “Sorry about Easton. His parents are trying to teach him not to grab, but you can see it’s not going well.”

He readjusted the baby in his arms, hoisting him up a little higher, before continuing, “I’m Brock, by the way, and this is my nephew, Easton.” 

“Um, hi,” you mumbled out, tucking your hair behind your ear as a blush rose to your cheeks as you added your name at the end of your half statement. You had a warmer smile for Easton though. Brock, a terrible name for a cute boy who liked babies to boot, who on the other hand was trying to take your gift that you needed. He was on the naughty list for sure. “Hi there, Easton.”

“I see we like Easton best,” Brock laughed, picking up on the stark difference in the tones you used. “Look, you want that, right?” 

Brock pointed up toward the shelf where the gift you desperately needed sat, taunting you, daring you to reach out and grab it. You nodded in response to Brock, unsure where he could possibly be going with this. 

“How about I let you have that if you’ll grab a drink with me?” Brock asked you, completely stunning you in the middle of a department store in the middle of the holiday season, a lawless place where one should always expect the unexpected. 

“I’m sorry?” you laughed, a look of disbelief clear on your face. 

Brock let a lazy smile roll across his face, “I get a drink with a pretty girl for the price of a Christmas gift for one of my cousins who would probably break it the day after I give it to him? Yeah, I’m coming out on top here, if you say yes.” 

You had said yes and the rest was pretty much history, an accidental meeting led to all of this, so maybe the accidental baby you were carrying just in time for Christmas was just the right thing for the two of you, a nod to your past in the setting up of your future. Just as you finished tying the bow around the box, the front door jingled, the sound instantly followed by barking from Milo and Coolie, and then followed by cooing from your husband at the pups. 

“Hey bud, hey bud. Yeah, Dad missed ya too,” he managed to get out as he was being practically tackled by the pups, like they did whenever he came home. 

You slid the surprise gift under the tree, tucking it in the back, before Brock could notice you were adding one more gift after you said you were done a few days ago. You lifted yourself off the floor, tucking the wrapping paper under the couch to hide it from Brock, as he rounded the corner into the living room. Brock looked at you like he always did, like you were his entire world, like you were his first breath of fresh air he’d had in years, like you were the living embodiment of a Christmas miracle. He shuffled across the floor to wrap his arms around your waist, and you gasped as he lifted you up. He laughed, but you were just panicking that maybe your stomach wasn’t as flat as you thought it was and he was going to find out about the biggest surprise he was ever going to get a little earlier than you wanted. 

“Hey, baby,” he breathed out as he set you back down, tilting his head down in one another motion to capture your lips in a soft kiss. 

“Hey, handsome,” you smiled as you pulled away from his kiss, a hand threading into the long strands of hair at the back of his neck. 

Brock smiled down at you, and gave you another quick kiss before saying, “How were the last couple days? Were the pups good for you? Do I need to be bad cop with them?”

You laughed and shook your head softly, “Brock Boeser, we both know you’re not capable of being the bad cop with anyone, let alone Milo and Coolie.”

Brock was laughing as he kissed your forehead, “Sorry you’re going to have to be the bad guy all the time when we have kids. Whenever that is, no pressure.”

Your heart picked up in your chest and your breath caught in your throat. You tucked your face in his neck to try and hide the expression on your face, letting the ease with which Brock brought up kids calm you. He wanted this baby, even if he didn’t know they existed yet. Your nerves that maybe he wouldn’t want this baby were just misplaced anxiety coming from your own feelings about becoming a parent yourself; they weren’t about him. Brock was here, again, being your perfect partner, comforting you and assuring you, even though he had no idea he was actually doing anything at all. 

Sliding into bed next to him later that night, his heavy arm slung over your stomach made you as nervous as when he picked you up earlier, even though nothing had changed since that afternoon other than everything that had already changed since the morning. Brock kissed your shoulder and relaxed into his pillow, letting his eyes flutter closed. He was out less than a few minutes after closing his eyes, as per usual. Your husband was a creature of habit, and you were about to throw the most welcome wrench into his routines that you ever could. Your nerves had shifted into ones of excitement, of wanting a beautiful thing to happen on the morning of Brock’s favorite holiday. You wanted to see him open that gift. You wanted to see the moment he realized everything was changing, the moment he realized he was going to be a father, the one thing he’d wanted for so long, under the lights of the Christmas tree, and the dawn of a winter Vancouver morning in late December. 

All you had to do to get to that moment was sleep, but it was the one thing that eluded you most of the night. The combination of excitement, nerves, and the fact that this baby seemed to have the goal of making you incredibly nauseous all of the time, all working in tandem to rob you of sleep. You tossed and turned most of the night, and slept terribly when you did manage to sleep, but it was Christmas after all Brock didn’t feel any shame in waking you up when he normally got up. He woke you up with a soft kiss to your shoulder, and a comforting arm around your waist. 

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he mumbled softly against your shoulder when you stirred. 

“Merry Christmas, husband,” you breathed out and you felt Brock smile against your shoulder. He loved when you called him by his favorite title, his words not yours. “What time is this?” 

Brock laughed lightly against your skin, “Early,” which was what he said when it was before seven thirty in the morning whenever you asked, “but it’s Christmas early, so it’s appropriate today.” 

You groaned, making him laugh deeper in response, “Still not sure how I married an early bird?” 

“But you love meeeee,” he muttered against your skin, voice soft with an edge of youth that perfectly fit the holiday, his days old stubble scratching across your skin as he talked. “And I love you so much.” 

“I do love you,” you smiled as you spoke. “It’s the only reason I can tolerate you waking up this early on days that aren’t Christmas.” 

“Well, today is Christmas, so we’re putting our matching pajamas on. I’ve got Milo if you take Coolie, and we’re opening some presents, baby!” 

One torn set of dog antlers, one discarded set, two embarrassing adult pajama sets Brock loved so much, and two cups of coffee since neither of you could function without it, later, and you and Brock were sat by the Christmas tree together, legs crossed, each with your first present for each other in yours laps. You had an order in mind for Brock’s gifts, saving the last addition, the announcement of your new addition, for last. Brock usually just grabbed whatever was closest to him with your name on it and handed it to you. 

“Sorry I still can’t wrap things,” was how he handed you the first one, snagging the box with his name on it off your lap in one smooth motion.

“Wouldn’t be from you if it wasn’t wrapped like you ran over it with your car first,” you joked. 

“Ho, ho, ho,” he rolled his eyes. “So kind of you, wifey.”

“I’ve got to keep you honest.”

You smiled brightly at him, earning yourself a quick peck on your lips before he ripped into your impeccably wrapped present, sending bits of paper and ribbon everywhere. You eyed Milo carefully as he started ripping up some of the paper Brock had torn off the box, but he wasn’t creating more of a mess than Brock was making himself, so you let it slide under a watchful eye. Brock loved his first gift, and his second, and his third. You cried at the first, and laughed at your second, and your entire chest felt warm with your third thinking that Brock Boeser was made for Christmas. He was warm and unfailingly kind and hopeful in the face of absolute hopelessness. You didn’t really believe in the idea of the magic of Christmas, chocking it all up to people making the holidays feel special simply because they wished for them to be special, but you believed that sometimes people were greater than the sum of their parts, of even their experiences, of their very atoms. There was something else to Brock Boeser, something so indescribably wonderful, that had drawn you to him in the first place, and that reminded you of what people said was the magic of Christmas. It was pure and good and so astoundingly bright that you thought maybe Brock Boeser was made of stardust from better stars than anyone else you’d ever known and maybe Christmas was made for Brock Boeser instead. 

You were just hoping that your little surprise was going to make this Christmas his best one yet, rather than derail Brock’s favorite holiday and every repetition of this holiday after. 

“Okay, I know we said three gifts,” and Brock was already groaning as you reached for the small box you hid behind Coolie and Milo’s gifts at the back of the tree, “but I had to get this one. It’s technically not really for you actually, but it’s kind of for you.” 

Brock gave you a curious look, eyebrows furrowing down and lips pursing, but you waved him off and shoved the pristinely wrapped box into his hands. You grabbed your phone and opened up your camera, knowing if you didn’t film this moment and it was as good as you hoped it would be, you would regret it for the rest of your life. If it wasn’t as good as you hoped, well, you could always delete it. 

“Oh, we’re filming me open a present that’s only sort of for me?” Brock laughed as he asked the question and you just shrugged in response and waved him on. “Okay then, weirdo wifey.” 

You rolled your eyes as he opened up his last present. Your breath caught in your throat as he popped open the tape keeping the lid on the box down. Your eyes bounced back and forth between his left hand and his right as he slowly pulled at the tissue paper, going painstakingly slowly for the sake of the camera. You groaned at his actions and whined his name, which just made him laugh, but at least he finally picked up the pace. You watched with your breath held and your body tense as his soft blue eyes looked over the contents of the gift. His brows furrowed together in confusion as his shaking hands picked up a small Canucks jersey, an incredibly small Canucks jersey that wouldn’t fit anyone in your household with your shared last name on the back.

“Baby, what is this?” Brock asked you, his voice tense, his emotions screaming behind the wall  he’d haphazardly built to try and keep the hopefulness out of it, but it was seeping in through the cracks in streams. 

You took a deep breath, your first one since he’d started opening the present, and whispered, “I’m pregnant, Brock. We’re having a baby.” 

Brock’s bottom lip quivered as he looked at the small jersey in his shaking hands. His brows softened and his chest started to heave as his breathing picked up. 

“You’re serious, right?” he managed to get out. “You’re actually pregnant? We’re actually having a baby?” 

He lost his voice a bit at the end, pitch going so high that he thought you didn’t even understand him, but you were listening and watching every single facet of him right now to miss what he said. You nodded slowly, letting out an unsteady breath as you did. He wasn’t angry, not that Brock had ever been angry with you even once in all the time you knew him. He was far too patient and by the time his patience wore thin, he loved you too much to ever be angry with you. But you couldn’t place how he was feeling, the emotions flashing over his face in the faint light of the Christmas tree and the Vancouver sunrise too complicated and changing too quickly for you to understand. 

You understood when Brock dropped the jersey and reached for you. It wasn’t really a reach. It was a tackle, your back ending up flat on the rug with Brock hovering over you. 

“We’re having a baby!” 

Brock’s voice shot up several octaves and decibel levels when he shouted. A wide, gorgeous smile broke out across his face, one so true and joyful you’d only seen it a handful of times before; when you agreed to be his girlfriend, when you agreed to marry him, and when he saw you walk down the aisle. But here it was again, his “overwhelmed to the point of absolute elation” smile. And with the Christmas lights making a halo of light twinkle around his head from your position on the floor, Brock looked like every bit of the angel he was to you. 

“A baby, baby,” he breathed out as he slowly sat back on his heels, pulling you up with him, keeping your faces close. “We’re having a baby, baby.” 

You nodded as his hand reached out to cup your face, “We’re having a baby, Brock.” 

“Well, you’re having a baby,” he smiled at you softly as his thumb ran over your lips. “I’m here for physical, moral, and emotional support.”

“Thanks for acknowledging that I’m doing all of the heavy lifting here,” you laughed with a teasing roll of your eyes. 

“Are you happy?” His question was so soft, so hesitant, you always didn’t catch it. “I know you didn’t want this for another couple of years and I just, I’m thrilled, I’m over the moon and the stars and the whole freaking universe that we’re having a baby, but are you happy?”

Hearing Brock’s words, feeling the steadiness of his hand on your cheek, and the excitement absolutely radiating off him, you knew you were happy. The prospect of becoming a parent was terrifying, especially when you hadn’t been trying to become one, but knowing Brock Boeser, the man you loved more than anyone else you had ever met, the man that outshone all the lights on the tree and the stars in the sky, the man that was made of brighter stardust than anyone else, the man that Christmas could only hope to be as magical as, was your co-parent. And what was there to worry about after that? 

“I’m so happy,” you told him, your voice shaking as tears began to fill your eyes. “I’m so, so happy.” 

Brock nodded as his eyes matched yours, glassy and threatening to overflow with tears as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. He slowly pulled back and lowered himself down, bending over until his face was in front of your stomach. Brock let out a long, slow breath before reaching out a hand to place gently on your still flat stomach. 

“Hi, little one. It’s me, Daddy.” Brock’s voice cracked at the last word that left his lips and your first tears spilled over. “Your momma and I are so happy and so excited you’re on your way and we can’t wait to meet you. Thank you for showing yourself for Christmas. You’re the best gift I’ve ever received in my entire life. Can’t wait for next Christmas already, even though this one isn’t over, because you’ll be sharing it with us then. We love you so much, little one.”

The tears were flowing freely as Brock looked back up at you. There was so much to do, so much to plan, so much to figure out, but right now it was just you and Brock and your little Christmas surprise, the best gift you had ever received either. 

“Merry Christmas, Brock.” 

“Merry Christmas, baby, and Merry Christmas, baby.”

[dailydnp]

Daniel Howell: "Mental health isn't a mystery"

YouTuber Daniel Howell has written a book aimed at demystifying mental health and offering a toolkit for people who are struggling. He tells us why You Will Get Through This Night.

Dan Howell has a message for the struggling.

Don't suffer in silence. Reach out. Connect.

"It can be hard to ask for help, but you just need to think how you'd feel if a friend did the same," says Howell. "It wouldn't be a burden, you'd feel better that you can help them and it might bring you closer."

The YouTuber has written a book that aims to demystify mental health, a straight-talking missive that offers practical solutions and even a few jokes. He describes You Will Get Through This Night as a "lean, mean, mental health machine" – check out our interview below.

Tell us about your new book – You Will Get Through This Night…

This is the book that I wish I could have read when I needed it. Too many of us go through life not really thinking about our mental health, how we think and how it makes us feel, and if we just learn a few tips (that we should all be taught) it can literally change our lives! Why waste any more time? The book is a lean, mean, mental health machine - there's no fluff or waffle, it gets straight to the point and tells you the practical things you can try in your life right now that will make a difference.

I'm here as the guy that makes it relatable, so you don't feel bad if you see yourself in these struggles, and funny. Because sometimes after a long day the last thing I want to do is 'homework' or read something boring, so if I can make a few inappropriate jokes about my mess of a life to make it enjoyable, I'm happy to.

Are there any books you used as inspiration when writing yours?

I actually really tried to avoid getting influenced by other books out there! A lot of mental health books are either: celeb memoirs that are amazing for relating to and shattering the stigma, but not great advice for you, or serious psychological self help that goes really deep on specific topics and the theory, but are a struggle to get through to the important revelations.

If you only ever buy one book to understand your mind and sort your life out – I want this to be the one. It's like the highlights of the entire library, crammed into 300 pages – designed for you not to just read once, but come back to and refer to as a toolkit for whenever you need it.

Was there a specific incident in your life that spurred you to write it?

Definitely. When I opened up about my struggles with depression, it was incredibly hard – and terrifying. I seriously thought I'd damage my career, people would judge me and think I'm 'crazy' and I'd have to wade through misunderstanding. It was the opposite. People empathised, understood and related.

Some people saw themselves in my story and realised for the first time that their life wasn't supposed to be that way, others finally understood a silent struggle that someone in their life was going through too. It showed me not just the importance of sharing your story to break the stigma that still exists around mental health, but how much incredibly important stuff there is for all of us to know about our minds!

My experience in life has given me a following of passionate people that show me every day the power we all have by telling our stories, the responsibility that comes with a platform, and the good you can do with it. I knew I had to write the book that could have saved me years of struggling – so hopefully someone out there doesn't go through the same.

Great trailer for the book! And really astute point: everyone in the world is alone with their thoughts before they fall asleep. How do you manage your thoughts in that time?

Thank you! I really wanted to show firstly, that mental health is universal. A lot of us only think 'mental health' applies to people with serious anxiety or depression, when it's actually how all of us think and feel all the time – if you are too stressed, have difficulty dealing with anger, or worry too much up in your head and it's holding you back in any way from enjoying life, that's your mental health! You can do something about it.

I'm someone that has real trouble getting to sleep if I'm worrying about stuff and the book deals with this in so many ways: from learning mindfulness to get perspective on your thoughts, to being present and using your senses and body to change how your brain operates, to the practical side of sorting out your problems so they don't go bump in the night.

Deep question – but why do you think night often brings out our darker thoughts and emotions? (No pun intended.)

'The Night' is such an important metaphor, not just for the dark times, but that literally we spend all our days pushing our fears to the back of our minds (to be distracted by the activities of the day), but when night comes and it's just you and your thoughts – they suddenly appear and you have to confront the truth.

We're all great at lying to ourselves about what bothers us and how we really feel, whether that's a day to day problem on your mind or a huge skeleton in the closet (for me literally my own skeleton) that is having a huge effect on your life.

The good news is – you can 'be your own light'. Mental health isn't a mystery or something set in stone, it's something you can influence and shape to make yourself healthier and happier.

As a YouTuber, how would you describe the relationship between your mental health and social media? Presumably it must be complicated…

I am definitely trapped in a digital nightmare that I created, haha! Social media has its good sides, from finding communities and support, to having fun and even learning about things that you might not get from a classroom or in your real world environment.

The downside is that the internet brings out the worst in people, from trolls hiding behind screens, to social media beaming us with addictive algorithms that force us to compare ourselves to the highlight reels of our friends' lives and the world's most perfect and successful celebrities.

Even just the information overload of our social lives and the 24 hour news cycle is too much for our primitive brains to handle, no wonder it's so bloody stressful!

How would you recommend people use social media for the benefit of their mental health? And negate its potentially harmful effects?

I do a whole deep dive on social media and how to manage it. From 'muting' that annoying friend, to curating the content on your timeline to take it from stressful and upsetting, to inspirational and mood boosting! It's important to get perspective on why people act differently on the internet and how to interpret the sometimes extreme actions we see (that someone would never do in real life).

We have this incredible power in our hands, connecting us to the whole world all the time, we just need to know how to make it work for us.

Is there a piece of advice or mantra that you’ve found helpful? Either someone else’s or one of your own?

I'll spoil it now: the number one tip for managing your mental health and general emotional wellbeing is support from others. I say this as the biggest introvert in the world that needs a two week holiday alone in a cave after going to a party for five minutes – but sharing what you're thinking and feeling with another person can be a lifesaver.

Even if they don't have magical advice, just feeling seen, heard, acknowledged and getting what's going on up in your head out into the world and onto the table can give you perspective and feel less alone. It can be hard to ask for help, but you just need to think how you'd feel if a friend did the same – it wouldn't be a burden, you'd feel better that you can help them and it might bring you closer!

Don't suffer in silence. You've got this. You will get through this night.

[opalsiren]

some bella x emma (bemma) headcanons under the cut:

the first time they meet is in the moon pool after emma returns from her travels. bella was meeting the girls there to help with the repair effort, while emma was hoping to surprise the girls there the moment she got home. despite having only spoken the once on a skype call with dodgy signal, they recognise each other instantly. they have a 'you must be bella!' / 'you must be emma!' moment and an instant connection. the girls had given emma the bare bones of the comet eva story, but bella is the one who has to explain the full extent of the damage to the moon pool before cleo and rikki get there

lewis runs into emma and her family in the US on their travels while studying. it occurs to him at that moment that emma and bella are kindred spirits who would get on really well, and he tells her so. emma never would have guessed just how much she would grow to like bella

emma feels a little lost when she returns home with everything that's changed and all she missed out on, not to mention guilty for not being around. emma feels like cleo and rikki don't really need her anymore with bella around. conversely bella feels insecure about her place in the group when emma is welcomed back with open arms, the girls sporting their lockets again. bella feels like cleo and rikki don't need her anymore now that emma is back. they confide their fears to one another one day trying to fix the moon pool and reassure each other about their places in cleo and rikki's lives i cannot stress enough how little this ends in pointless girl rivalry

with cleo soon to study marine biology at university and rikki planning to take classes at a local college, emma feels a little lost upon returning home. she had managed to graduate high school while travelling, because of course she did, but doesn't feel college is for her right now and wants to travel some more. bella also feels lost with will away on an extended holiday with his sister and the band's imminent break-up when summer ends. they both decide to go travelling together at the end of the summer, bella insisting on emma seeing the irish sea caves, while emma knows of this gorgeous romantic little patisserie in paris she's dying to take her to

somewhere between fixing the moon pool, planning their trip, and hanging out with the others at the café, they start to catch feelings for one another. they probably start to fall at around the same time but i think bella realises her feelings first (she has known she's liked girls for a long time, whereas emma still isn't really all that comfy with the concept of fancying girls). i'm inclined to say cleo, rikki, and even lewis know that emma fancies bella before emma herself knows. bella is scared to cause a potential rift in the group but slowly starts to insert 'she' pronouns into the band's songs and even has the nerve to be a little more touchy-feely with emma than the others. emma is the stereotypical clueless sapphic who has no idea that bella is flirting with her, even after she realises she herself likes her. eventually rikki uses one of the thousand favours zane owes her to lock them in the café's storeroom and force them to admit their feelings for one another

when they start dating emma freaks out about coming out to her parents. the others reassure her that coming out may not be necessary, but emma has such a hard time lying to her parents and even told them about her tail before they went travelling. bella assures her that, if they're okay with their daughter being a mermaid, they should be okay with her being gay, promising to be as involved as emma wants. in the end the coming out is out of her hands: elliot catches a vibe between emma and bella and essentially tells their parents to stage a family meeting to show her they love and support her no matter who she dates. the meeting itself is long and filled with happy tears and lots of hugs. they are completely accepting of her sexuality and basically treat bella like another member of the family. elliot starts a gsa at school and the whole family go to pride events together every june. bella, not close with nor out to her parents, is overwhelmingly grateful and jokes about taking emma's last name when they get married

emma and bella are quite different on the surface, but ultimately bring out the best in one another. bella is the zen member of the group and gets super into yoga and meditation. she helps emma deal with her anxiety and lets her know that it's okay to just be, that she doesn't have to perform to high standards of perfectionism all the time. emma is for sure the extrovert of the relationship and helps to bring bella out of her shell when she wants to retreat into shyness, allowing her confidence and assertiveness to flourish. when emma is quick to anger, bella calms. when bella doubts her worth, emma reminds her just how valuable she is. they are both deeply warm, empathetic, and compassionate people who are loyal to a fault, and these traits only grow the longer they are together

rikki likes to take credit for their entire relationship for the stunt at the storeroom, while lewis is certain he is responsible since he told emma that she would like bella. cleo claims that, if she never got into zane's zodiac all those years ago they never would have become mermaids together, therefore she should be credited for emma and bella's entire relationship. chaos ensues

during their extended world tour, they find half a dozen other moon pools and meet ten or fifteen other mermaids. with consent they send their details on to the others back home in the hopes of gaining further understanding around magic and mermaids

bella uses her gifts to make emma lots and lots of jewellery. in the early stages of their relationship she can be found proudly wearing a dozen or so different bracelets, necklaces, and anklets at any given time. for their first anniversary bella makes her a rose made of crystal from the water in the moon pool

emma doesn't have the same sense of creativity as bella, but years of taking elliot to oboe practice, reading music theory for fun, and even her grasp of english grammar conventions helps her to help bella write songs. if bella is stuck on a particular line or needs a second pair of ears, emma is the first person she goes to with her problem. when the record deals start flooding in, emma also helps to decode the legal jargon and acts as her manager until a more permanent replacement can be found

bella is lowkey obsessed with emma's mum's extensive crystal ware collection. she likes to make one-of-a-kind, totally unique crystal sculptures for her using her powers. it takes mrs. gilbert a little while to make the connection

when emma starts to study medicine and bella goes on tour, they have to do long distance for a little while. long distance with a mermaid's tail isn't quite so bad, though, as they frequently meet in the middle of the ocean to spend time together between more land-oriented visits

both emma and bella are deeply connected to the environment. when emma is a little older with an established medical practice she uses her money and connections to campaign for environmental protections. when bella gains success as an artist she, too, uses her platform to promote environmental awareness, LGBT rights, women's rights, and a whole host of other issues

they propose to each other at the same time, out for dinner near the marina. right as bella presents emma with the diamond ring elliot helped her pick out, a clumsy waiter spills a jug of water, and bella has to leg it to the water so as not to expose the secret. emma finds her crestfallen at the moon pool and quickly surfaces to console her, revealing the moonstone ring she’s had hidden behind the rocks for weeks. suffice to say, they said yes

despite her best efforts, emma never really got over having to abandon her swimming aspirations due to her tail. similarly a part of bella always mourned the childhood she never got to have since she became a mermaid, nor any chance of a relationship with her family. in the end they are both able to make peace with their fate: it brought them to each other

(bonus: shameless self plug of my bella x emma oneshot aka the only bemma fic in existence. god bless)

[adenei]

Hello!! Hope u r having a good day!! I rwally really enjoy ur writings.... So I was kinda hoping if u would do angst 6 from the prompt list 1 for HINNY.... Love U and u r writings 💖💖💖💖

Hi anon! Thank you so much for the ask!!! <3 I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this, but I hope you enjoy this little piece of summer before DH FLANGST!!!

***************

 “You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?”

Ginny let out a loud sigh as she polished the last of the silverware for the upcoming wedding. Even though Fleur had become more tolerable since they’d returned for the summer holidays, her Mum had become a raging lunatic. Not that Ginny could entirely blame her. They were hosting a wedding, in the midst of a war, no less, which was no easy feat.

Setting the last knife into the drawer, Ginny brought the polishing cloth to the hamper with dirty clothes awaiting a wash. The house was blissfully quiet, in what was no doubt a rare moment. She was hopeful that she’d be able to sneak up to her bedroom unnoticed to relax a bit before—

“Oh, wonderful, you’ve finished!” Her mum observed as she bustled into the kitchen.

Ginny resisted the urge to groan. She’d been so close to a free moment. If only she’d been two minutes faster. 

“Would you be a dear and go degnome the garden?” Ginny very well knew her mother wasn’t asking, even though she posed it as a question.

“But—”

“No ‘buts’, Ginevra! We’re—”

“—hosting a wedding in two days. Yeah, Mum, I know.”

“You don’t need to be fresh, young lady. Now, please go and do as I’ve asked. You can take a break for lunch once it’s finished.”

Ginny inwardly cursed Fred and George for moving out after they’d started the business. De-gnoming the garden had always been their job, but now that they weren’t around often, it fell on her shoulders. Ron’s too. She stalked off toward the door and shut it a little too hard in frustration. When she rounded the corner to the garden, she was surprised to see someone already tackling the task.

She paused where she was standing to watch Harry pull out the menacing creatures from the earth and fling them off into the neighboring field. They hadn’t had much of a chance to spend time together while he was staying there, since her mum was keeping them all so busy. Even though they’d ‘broken up’, she felt no shame in watching the muscles in his arms flexed as he worked. Ginny quickly found herself drifting off to those lazy Sunday afternoons by the lake, when those arms could be found wrapped around her waist. 

She forced the thoughts from her head as she closed the distance between them. “Hey,” she greeted, alerting him to her presence. “Mum told me to come out here to take care of the gnomes. She must have forgotten she already assigned it to someone else.” 

A smile crossed his lips as sweat poured down his face. “You’re more than welcome to help if you want.”

“I don’t know...I think watching you work might be more fun,” she smirked.

Harry laughed, and the sound was like music to her ears. “Well, I’m almost done anyways. Then, I suppose I’ll need a shower.”

Ginny nodded as she gave in and reached for one of the terrors nearest her. “You do have quite the stench about you,” she said, pinching her nose.

She grabbed the gnome and swung him around and around, until letting go and watching him soar across the field. A disgruntled sound escaped Harry’s lips. 

“What? Jealous of my chaser skills? Or did you not expect to be outdone in gnome throwing today?”

“You wish! That was nothing compared to one I just threw before you came out here.”

Ginny laughed. “I watched you throw two before I came over, don’t lie. I had you beat by a long shot.”

Harry cocked an eyebrow in her direction. “Is that a challenge, Weasley?”

“Only if you’re up for it,” Ginny said as she reached for another gnome.

They both set off to throw as many gnomes as far and as fast as they could. It didn’t take long to finish emptying out the garden of the pesky vermin once they’d made a competition of it.

“Well, that worked out better than I planned,” Harry said, brushing his hands together in an attempt to clean off the excess dirt.

“What? Finishing the task, or the throwing contest? Because I’m pretty sure I beat you,” Ginny said as she bumped into his shoulder innocently.

She picked up the shovel that was laying on the ground and brought them over to the shed as Harry followed.

“I don’t think so! I definitely had you on a couple,” he argued playfully.

“Agree to disagree, then,” Ginny said.

She entered the tiny shed and placed the shovel on the back wall. Turning to exit, she didn’t realize how close Harry was and almost bumped into him. He caught her easily, and she found herself in his arms again. They both stood there, frozen, a mess of limbs and sweat. For a moment, Ginny thought Harry was going to kiss her. It’d be so easy to just lean in, one more time.

And just like that, Harry backed away. “Gin, we really shouldn’t.”

Hurt and disappointment swept over her. “Like you don’t want to,” she spat bitterly.

“I...don’t,” he said, the strain in his voice clearly evident.

“You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?” 

Ginny wasn’t quite sure where that had come from. It was probably the frustration of the whole situation.

“Again?” Harry immediately became defensive. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t trust me with information of what you three are planning! Haven’t I proven that you can tell me? I just want to know that you’ll be safe. How can I know if you won’t even—”

“Gin, you know I can’t tell you! It’s the same reason you can’t come with us. That and you won’t be of age, so the—”

“Yeah, I know. The bloody trace,” she said angrily as she kicked at the ground. “It’s not fair. None of it.”

She looked up to meet his gaze and immediately regretted her words. Sure, it wasn’t fair, but she was being awfully selfish. It was up to Harry to save the magical world as they knew it. The hurt and anguish on his face said more than any words could.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said.

Ginny wrapped her arms around him, wishing she could take away all of his stress and pain. “I just want to make things easier for you.”

She felt him nuzzle into her neck as he said, “You already do. Just promise me you’ll stay safe and out of trouble at Hogwarts this year. I’m doing all this for—”

He choked on his words as the remainder of his unfinished sentence hung in the air between them. You.

“I know,” she whispered back. “Just, promise me the same?”

“You know I’ll try, but—”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare say it.”

It didn’t bear repeating, and she refused to let herself believe that these could be their final days together, even though she was well aware it was a possibility. She felt him pull away and immediately missed his warmth and touch, despite the hot July air.

“We should get back inside. I could use a shower after all that hard work,” he said reluctantly. It was an attempt to bring them back to the lightheartedness of a few moments ago.

“Yeah, Potter, you stink,” Ginny joked as a smile returned to her face. 

She pretended to push him back out of the shed. He chuckled as he blocked her exit, their playful banter returning. And just like that, their serious conversation was over, though the moment would continue to replay in Ginny’s mind for many months to come.

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

this is me trying

Modern Day AU! Steve Rogers x OC!Reader; Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years.

word count: 3592

[a/n: I’m so sorry that it’s taken me so long to update this and my other story. i’ve been busy with school and work. thank you for your continued patience and support]

previous part

Series Masterlist

Age: 20 Year: Dec. 2014 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"How have you been James?”

Bucky looks out the window to his right. Hands grasped together in his lap as he sits on the dark green sofa across from the woman he's been seeing for the last 5 months.

He ponders the question, making sure to answer it honestly. He looks back at her giving her his full attention again.

"Good," he answers truthfully, a small smile planted on his face. Life has been good. School is going incredibly well. My job is going better than I could've imagined. Really learning a lot."

"How are things going with Natasha?" The older lady asks.

“Great. Really great," Bucky says with a slightly bigger smile.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," she smiles back, proud to the see progress James has made since his first visit moths ago.

After the blow up he and Steve had, Bucky fell into a depressive state. He refused to talk to anyone about what had happened. It wasn't until his younger sister Rebecca came to talk to him:

"I get you don't want to talk to any of us about what happened last week," she said as Bucky laid in bed looking out the window, his back facing her, "But you can't just stay in bed, hiding for the world. Starving yourself isn't going to solve anything.

"Sulking is only going to make you worse. It's not healthy, Buck. We're all worried. Ma is incredibly worried. She's barely been eating. I hear her wandering the house at all hours, because she can't sleep."

"You don't want to talk to us, fine. But you need to talk to someone. If not for yourself, but for Ma. Please," she begs, before leaving Bucky alone to ponder what she said.

He knew he wasn't coping the healthy way. He hadn't realized how much he was affecting his family by shutting down. The last thing he wanted to do was worry his mother. So he got himself up, took a shower, ate breakfast with his family. They were surprised to see him come down, but tried not to draw any extra attention to it. Rebecca gave him an understanding nod, which he reciprocated. After breakfast, he began his research. He decided to listen to Rebecca's advice and find someone to talk to someone to help him make sense of what is going on in his mind.

And that's how he ended up in Dr. Abraham's office.

"Have you contacted Steve yet?" She asks.

"No," he answered fiddling with his fingers, "I feel embarrassed about the way I reacted."

"That's normal, James," she assured him, "But in order to repair any damage that's been cost, you need to talk to Steve. To move forward. From what you've told me he's a very understanding person. I'm sure once you've apologized and explain to him the steps you've taken to help your mental health, I'm sure he'd be willing to accept you back into his life."

"I'm not so sure," he looked down at his hands.

"You won't know until you've tried. Listen, I'm not here to tell you what to do or what not to do. I'm just here to help you navigate your thoughts a little better. In a more healthy way. If you're really serious about living a more healthier mental life, I think you should talk to him. You don't want to really throw this lifelong friendship away, do you?"

"No, I don't," he shakes his head.

"Good. Remember to be honest," she tells him, "Vulnerability isn't a bad thing. Your feelings aren't a nuisance. it's how you handle them is what matters. I'm not saying you have to talk to him as soon as you walkout of here. I just want you to start making the notion of doing so. Our time is just about up, how about we do this. Some homework for the week.

"I want you to write a letter to Steve. Bring it in next week, you don't have to read it. But I would like to discuss it. What do you say?"

"Okay, I could do that," he agreed.

Christmas week

Steve and Elizabeth flew back home a few days before Christmas. They put their bags in the trunk of their rental car.

The car ride was silent for awhile, both tired after a long flight, now sitting in traffic on their way back to their parents' place. This would be their first time back to Brooklyn since the whole Bucky situation. The road trip back to California was fun, but there was a looming sadness over Steve. It's not like he regrets standing up to Bucky he doesn't. He just wishes thing would've played out differently. He really wished Bucky would've talked to him before he left back to California.

"How are you feeling about being back?" Elizabeth asks, while they sat in traffic.

"I don't know," Steve sighs, "Feels weird going back home and not talking to Bucky."

"Maybe you should try calling him. It's been a few months. I'm sure he'd be willing to hear you out," she said, rubbing his right arm.

"I don't want to push him," Steve said through gritted teeth, his grip on the steering wheel getting tighter.

Bucky had been a touchy subject the last few months. During the first month Elizabeth would ask Steve if he'd heard from him, the answer always being no, followed by Steve shutting down. After that Elizabeth stopped asking, noticing how much it was affecting Steve, but the constant reminder of it wasn't helping. She knew that if Bucky ever did call, Steve would tell her. The only thing she could do was be patient and be there for Steve whenever he needed her.

The holidays kept everyone busy. On Christmas Eve. Steve spent it with Elizabeth's family at her grandma's house. Elizabeth found herself watching Steve play with her younger cousins, she couldn't help but giggle when they roped him into a tea party. She found herself imagining a future where Steve would do the same with their own children. She quickly shook the daydream away. Reprimanding herself a little for even thinking about kids at their young age.

On Christmas morning Elizabeth and Steve spent it with his parents. It was a nice peaceful day just lounging around in their pajamas. For dinner, Elizabeth's parents went over to have dinner at the Rogers' house. It was a nice little send off dinner for their parents who were leaving for Mexico to spend the New Years for a couples' getaway.

Elizabeth and Steve were heading to the Hamptons to spent NYE with Wanda, Thor, Loki, and Scott. They had planned to have a nice, peaceful trip.

While Steve and Elizabeth were at the Hamptons, Bucky and Natasha were spending their NYE at his family's beach cottage in Port Washington.

They were cuddled on the couch surrounded by take out containers, watching the New Years Eve special waiting for midnight to happen.

Bucky got up about 15 minutes to midnight to grab something from the kitchen. He walked back into the room with a new bottle of champagne and two champagne flutes.

"Got some champagne," he said holding it up for Natasha to see.

"Um," Natasha awkwardly shifted in her seat, "Actually about that."

Bucky looked at Nat confused, putting the bottle and flutes down on the coffee table before sitting back down next to her.

"What's wrong" he asked, grabbing the tv remote to mute the tv, and give Natasha his full undivided attention.

"So there's something I haven't told you," she says looking down at her fidgeting fingers.

"You're worrying me Nat," Bucky said, grabbing her hands to help ease her nerves

She looked up to meet his worry filled eyes.

"I'm pregnant," she announced.

Bucky eyes widen at her announcement, instantly dropping her hands. The look on her face showing she was telling the truth.

"How is that possible?" He asks in disbelief, "We've been so careful. We use double the protection. Condoms and you're on the pill."

"Actually about that," she nervously shifted under his intense gaze, "I haven't been on birth control in a little over two months."

"What?" Bucky yelled, quickly rising from his seat, "What do you mean you haven't been on birth control in a little over two months?"

"I got off of it," she shrugged trying to play it off, "It's my body and I can do what I want with it. And I just wanted to give my body a break, I've been on the pill since I was 15."

"I get it's your body, Natasha, I'm all for you doing whatever you want," he stresses, "but you should've told me. I'm your boyfriend, we have sex frequently. You should've at least had the respect of your sexual partner, letting him know that you were no longer on birth control. So in that case I could've been a tad more careful."

"We were using condoms," she half heartedly defended herself.

"They aren't 100% effective Natasha," he gripped his hair, in complete disbelief over this entire conversation, "You even know that. That also doesn't defend yourself for not telling me. You should've told me."

"I'm sorry. It's not like I was planning for this to happen," she yelled.

Bucky just stared at her like she just grew two heads. How is she not freaking out, he thought. They were clearly way too young for this. Which is why they took precautionary measures.

After a few moments of silence Natasha spoke up, "I'm keeping the baby."

Bucky didn't know what to say. He felt the room closing in on him. He started having a hard time catching his breath.

"James," Natasha quietly said, getting up to check on him. He raised his hand, silently telling her to stay where she's at.

He headed for the back door, the house felt too suffocating for him. He walked through the the small yard to the gate that led to the beach. Stumbling around.

To a stranger they would just think he's drunk. In reality he was just having a panic attack.

It was all too much. His mind was racing.

She's pregnant. With a baby. My baby. I'm going to have a kid. I'm going to be a dad. I'm not ready to be a dad. My dad was shit. God I can't be like my dad. I'm not ready for all of this.

He put his hands on his knees, hunched over trying to catch his breath. But he just couldn't. He did the only thing he could think of. He pulled out his phone and dialed the only person he knew would help.

Steve and Elizabeth were laughing with their friends, waiting for the countdown to begin. Steve felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He moved his shoulder off of the back of the couch, where Elizabeth was cuddled up against.

He pulled his phone out and his heart dropped at the name that appeared. He quickly got up and walked out of the living room and upstairs to the room where he was staying in for the week.

Wanda raised her eyebrow at Elizabeth, who just shrugged her shoulders, equally as confused.

"Bucky?" Steve answered the phone, closing the door behind him. He could hear Bucky hyperventilating on the other side.

"Steve," he tried to get out.

"Buck, what's wrong?" Steve asked, pressing the phone even closer to his ear the sound of everyone downstairs counting down to midnight.

"Steve, I-," Bucky was struggling to get out.

"Buck, please try to calm down," Steve stressed, "Inhale, hold it for a few seconds and then exhale. You need to calm down. I can't help you, if I can't understand you."

Bucky tried his best to calm himself down, with Steve talking him through it.

"Now, can you explain to me what's wrong?" Steve asked, hearing Bucky's breathing leveling out more.

"I-I'm not re-ready Steve," Bucky stutters, sniffling his nose.

"It's okay take your time, I'm here whenever you're ready."

"No, it's Natasha.”

"What's Natasha? Is she okay?" Steve questioned, getting more concerned.

"Yes, she's fi-ine," he stuttered again, trying to say the words.

"Where are you Buck?" Steve asked, looking around for his shoes and keys.

"I'm at the beach cottage."

"I'm in the Hamptons. Is there any way you can meet me back at my place?"

"Yeah, I think I can," Bucky said a bit more calmer now.

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

When midnight struck Elizabeth went upstairs to check on Steve, making sure everything was okay. She could hear him on the phone talking to Bucky, trying to calm him down. She waited outside of the door to give them some privacy.

Twenty minutes later Wanda went to go check on them, to find Elizabeth sitting on the floor.

"Is everything okay?" She whispered.

"I don't know," she answered, "I'm waiting for Steve. You can head back down, I'll be down shortly."

"Okay. We're here if you guys need anything," Wanda said before walking back down.

After another 25 minutes Elizabeth heard Steve hang up the phone. She softly knocked on the door, and let herself in. She walked in to see Steve frantically going around the room collecting his things.

"Steve is everything okay?"

"It's Buck. He called me while he was having a panic attack. Something about Natasha," he tells her.

"Is she okay?"

"I think so. I was able to calm him down. I need to get back home," he said putting his things in his suitcase.

"Okay. I completely understand. Do you want me to go with you for the drive?" She asked.

"I don't want you to have to cut your time here short," he says, feeling guilty for bringing this on her.

"Steve, something is clearly going on with Bucky. I want you to go to him, but maybe it's best if I drove. I haven't had a drink in hours, and you seem too frantic. Please let me help," she pleaded, placing her hand on his stopping him.

Steve looked up and noticed the worry on Elizabeth's face.

"Okay," he gave in, "We'll need to leave as soon as we can."

Elizabeth nodded, quickly grabbing her weekender bag and start shoving things in. If they forgot anything's he knew Wanda would bring it back.

They said their quick goodbyes and were on the road within 5 minutes, with Elizabeth behind the wheel and Steve fidgeting in the passenger seat.

Bucky took a few minutes to himself on the beach, trying to make sure his anxiety was at rest before he headed back inside. When he entered the house, Natasha shot up from her seat.

"Happy New Years," she awkwardly said, trying to cut the obvious tension.

"Umm," Bucky scratched his head looking everywhere but at Natasha, "We need to leave."

"What?"

"I mean, you can stay if you want and I'll pick you up tomorrow," he rephrased, "But I can't stay here. I need to go. Steve is meeting me at his house."

"Steve?" She was taken back by that mention, not expecting to hear Bucky say his name. He hasn't mentioned Steve in months.

"Yeah, I called him," Bucky says rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well that's good right?"

"Yeah, listen. I really need to go, so are you going to stay or come with me?"

"To see Steve?"

"No. I would drop you off at your place," he tells her, "I'm seeing Steve alone."

"Will she be there?"

Natasha didn't really know exactly why Steve and Bucky weren't talking, at first. Then she heard that Steve and Elizabeth were dating, and it all made sense. The only person that could tear Bucky and Steve apart. She never told Bucky that she knew. Figured it wasn't worth the fight. Especially not now when she was carrying his child.

To an outsider it might seem like she got pregnant on purpose, but that wasn't the case. She knew they were too young for this, at least that's what she thought when she first found out about the pregnancy a week ago. But now that she's sat with it she's taking it as a sign that this is meant to happen. She's just really hoping that Bucky would see it, if not now but eventually.

"Listen, Natasha, I don't have time for this," he looks her in the eyes, "Are you coming or not?"

"I'll get my bag," she remarked with a snark tone, walking passed him to their shared room.

A couple of hours later Bucky was pulling up in front of the Rogers' house. 2:15 am read the clock in his car. He looked to his right, out the passenger side window to see a dark figure sat on the front steps of the house.

Bucky took one last breath before exiting the vehicle.

As soon as he opened the front gate Steve stood up from where he was sat on the stairs.

Once Bucky approached him both young men threw their arms around each other. Gripping each other tightly, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. They stayed like that for awhile. Relishing in the comfort of being back in each other's arms. Their silent fight no longer important. All they knew in that moment was everything was going to be okay, because no matter what they'll always have each other.

Steve walked into his parents' living room holding two mugs of coffee. As he rounded the couch, he handed one to Bucky.

"Sorry, if I ruined any of your plans," Bucky apologized, "Tell Elizabeth I'm sorry for taking you away."

'Buck, don't worry about it," Steve waved him off, "She completely understands. And truth be told, I wasn't necessarily feeling in the New Year's mood."

"Yeah," Bucky sighs.

"Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?" Bucky nods his head, placing the coffee mug on the coffee table in front of him. He shifted his body to the left to face Steve.

"She's pregnant," he announces.

"What?" Steve asked, not expecting that to be the reason, he quickly placed his mug next to Bucky's.

"Yeah, my reaction exactly," Bucky said.

"What? How?"

"Apparently Natasha hasn't been on the pill in a couple of months," Bucky explains, "And even though we always used condoms, they aren't exactly 100% effective."

"Did you know she wasn't on the pill?"

"Nope," Bucky tells him, "If I knew I wouldn't been a bit more cautious."

"So she told you she was pregnant?" Steve said getting back to it.

"Yeah. She was so nonchalant about it. Like it was no big deal," Bucky stressed,

"How is she just so calm. We're not prepared for this. I'm not ready for this Steve. I can't be a dad. I don't even know how to be a decent human being."

"That's not true Buck," Steve disagreed.

"Come on Steve, we haven't talked in months, and we both know it's not because you didn't try," Bucky says, "I was so caught up in my own jealousy. And selfishness, that I never even considered your feelings or Elizabeth's. And I don't think I can ever make it up to you for treating you like you're nothing to me."

"You were hurt," Steve tried to excuse.

"Doesn't excuse the way I behaved," Bucky says, "I know that now."

"I've been seeing a therapist," Bucky informs him, "I never realized how much my mental health was taking a toll on those around me. So after our fight, I found someone to talk to. To work through the shit that's going on in my mind."

"How's that been going?" Steve asked.

"Good," Bucky gives a half smile, "Really good. She's good. I've realized a lot about myself that I didn't know. Working through all the issues I've had with my father leaving."

"That's good Buck. I'm proud of you, truly," Steve beamed, patting Bucky on the shoulder.

"I really am sorry for the way I behaved," Bucky repeated again.

"Buck, you really don't have to apologize again," Steve told him.

"I need to Steve," he said, "I can't believe I acted that way. I should've been happy for you and Elizabeth. I'm glad you two have each other. Seriously. I couldn't imagine her with anyone better, same goes for you. I won't cause any more issues for you two. It's not worth not having you in my life. You're my brother Steve, and I don't want to miss anything."

"Thanks, Buck. It really means a lot to me to hear that," Steve smiles, "Because I don't want to miss anything in your life also."

"Yeah, especially now," he says, the reality of why they're there dawning back.

"How are you feeling now about the baby?"

"I don't know, man," Bucky shakes his head, "I'm afraid I'm going to screw this up, like everything else."

"But now you're working on that," Steve reminds him, "And you're not going to be doing this alone. You have people who are always going to be there. I may be in California now, but I'm just a phone call away. You're not alone. But you do have to try Buck. That's all that you can ever do. Try your best, no one's asking you to be perfect, but as long as you're trying your best, that's what's important."

Age: 21 Year: 2015

The sounds of a baby crying woke Bucky up from his sleep in the early depths of the morning. He quietly and quickly got out of bed, making his way to the small New York kitchen to make a bottle.

He walked into the small nursery where the two-month-old baby wailed from hunger.

"It's okay," Bucky shushed gently, picking up the small baby, "Daddy's here."

He adjusted the small baby in his arms before placing the bottle in the baby's mouth.

"There you go," he encouraged the small one, as soon as he heard the sounds of the baby drinking.

Bucky sat down on the chair in the corner of the room, opposite of the crib. He just stared as the newborn drank their bottle, while simultaneously falling asleep. Even though he was completely exhausted, he had never felt more happier. More at peace with where his life was at.

As long as he kept trying his best, he knows he can do this for the rest of his life.

[dvrlingrenjun]

MATCHMAKER ⚯͛

genre: fluff, hogwarts au, winter themed, kind-of soulmate au (not really).

paring: gryffindor!jisung x house-neutral!reader (gender neutral? idk) ft. hufflepuff!chenle & mentions of stray kids felix but doesn't have a huge role.

summary: chenle trying to play cupid for you and jisung was awful, but his efforts weren't in vain.

warnings: mentions of food (honeydukes), chenle dipping like every 5 seconds idk

wc: >1.6k

rose’s notes: hello! like to start off by, this imagine doesnt have too many details about hogwarts. so i hope people who haven't read/watched harry potter understands mostly everything :> secondly, my secret santa is @dreamiehrs ! ah i'm sorry jenna it's a day late ;-; i hope you like this small imagine nonetheless. and lastly, thank you @yongiefilms for stressing, staying up with me to finish both of our works, and proofreading. couldn't do anything without you bitch <3

the soulmate thing i tried was: "when you kiss your soulmate for the first time your entire body glows" but a confession instead (ง •̀_•́)ง

to be honest, you didn’t know what your relationship with park jisung. it was confusing to say the least. one week he would watch the stars with you in the astronomy tower and hold your hand while running away from mr. filch’s wrath for staying up too late. but the next week he acts as if he was annoyed by your presence.

unfortunately for chenle, he was both of your best friends since year one. he was stuck in the middle of this unfortunate situation, hearing both of you rant about each other simultaneously. the endless conversations started to get to chenle’s head to where he could no longer focus on one thing for too long, debating with himself on the matters between the two of you. he desperately wanted the whole problem to be solved already, simply wishing for the two of you to finally be together.

so chenle had come up with an idea for you two to finally confess to each other. to play cupid and so he did. what he planned.

his plan started when you three planned to go to hogsmeade. so here you are, outside of honeydukes, sitting on one of the benches. it wasn't snowing yet but all of the leaves had fallen down the trees. you and chenle were bantering about whether or not every flavor beans were awful or not. while jisung focused on his pink coconut ice, paying no attention to the two of you. chenle sighs giving up on the mini argument, when a certain blonde guy caught his eye.

it was like a lightbulb turned on in his head, chenle found a way to leave the two of you alone. the plan starts now. chenle thought.

chenle stands up from the bench all three of you were previously sitting in. he calls out felix's name hurriedly, the older boy turning around just in time to wait for him.

chenle starts putting away his belongings including his every flavor beans you two recently argued about, and speaks.

“hey i need to work on a partner project with felix, i'll head out first. see you guys at charms class.” he waves goodbye at both of you before jogging to felix.

you blink, not knowing what to do. turning around to jisung, who still was focusing on the pink coconut ice. you opened your mouth to talk but ultimately decided not to, assuming that he isn't in the mood to converse with you. you turned away from the light brown hair boy, opting to eat your chocoballs in the awkward silence instead. much to chenle’s disliking.

seeing how the first time, flaking on you and jisung didn't work, chenle tried the same tactic one more time. this time, you three were at the library, you sitting next to jisung since chenle insists on having the free chair next to him. you were studying subjects like arithmancy and some other subjects you guys weren't the best at. when changing subjects to potions was when chenle said he would go to the restroom, he never came back. making jisung had no choice but to ask you questions about magical properties of some numbers he was having trouble with.

you were done with chenle’s shenanigans. looking for your best friend through the corridors, you finally caught sight of him walking through the courtyard talking to felix. the older noticed you walking towards chenle, wanting to give you two some privacy. he said his farewells to chenle and a nod towards you as an acknowledgment, walking away after.

“what? planning?” chenle asked innocently after his coughing fit was over.

“oh you know, the one where you ditch jisung and i multiple times.” you deadpanned, letting go of chenle’s shoulder.

you shook your head, giving up interrogating the boy, as long as whatever chenle’s planning isn't hurting anyone. then you don't care, you suppose.

a few days have gone by and winter break was emerging, making chenle’s matchmaking plans come to a halt for now.

it was christmas eve morning when you woke up to a loud knock on your bedroom door. you muttered a soft ‘coming!’ before getting off of your cozy bed. thinking it was one of your family members wanting for you to wake up early again. opening the door, you hissed at the person,

“what do you want.” your eyelids closing on themselves from being just woken up.

jisung raises his arm in defense, “easy there tiger, i just wanted to hang out with you during christmas eve.”

knowing that all familiar voice, you shut the door. there was no way you would allow for jisung to see you like this. you didn't bother looking for your hair brush, as you started to untangle the knots in your hair, while looking at a mirror to see if you looked okay.

jisung continued what he was going to say, even if a door was in the way. “i asked chenle to come with me to jump you but he was busy spending time with family. oh yeah i already asked your family to go out and they agreed.” jisung added.

“okay! i’ll go get ready.” you spoke before looking at your wardrobe, thinking what you should wear.

when you wore the clothing to your liking, you finally decided to open your door, wearing some heavy clothes for the snow. you saw jisung waiting out there with his muggle phone at hand.

you and jisung headed to the front door, seeing family members in the living room. you said your goodbyes to your family and left on your way to…

“wait jisung, where are we going?” you asked, looking ahead at the small snowflakes lightly falling down.

“we’re going to an ice-skating rink! how does that sound?” jisung eye-smiled, moving his head slightly to the beat of the christmas songs playing in the background.

“oh that sounds fun!” you liked the idea of ice skating with park jisung.

feeling a sudden breeze, you shoved your hands down your pockets, even though you wore really warm clothing it still was just as cold, the harsh wind biting against your not so exposed skin

seeing you shivering, he stopped walking and reached inside the paper bag you noticed earlier.

“here, i was going to give this to you once we got to the ice-skating rink but i think you would like this now.” jisung pulls his hand out and gives you white mittens that have a cute snowman on one of the corners of the wool. you grabbed the mittens, looking at how adorable the mittens are.

“oh thank you!” you smiled, putting on the mittens. carrying onto the ice skating rink.

when you two reached the rink, you grabbed your respective shoe sizes and finally got to the ice. holding onto jisung’s arm to stabilize yourself,

“did i mention i have never gone ice skating?” you brought up.

"no, but it's okay. you can hold onto me.” jisung offered.

you nodded taking the offer, fixated on trying not to slip on the slippery ice. everything was going well so far with some minor hiccups, until you felt a small dip in the ice making you plummet to the cold hard ice.

of course with you holding onto jisung, you brought jisung down with you. jisung catching himself on top of you.

“ah.” jisung blushed mumbling, he stared into your eyes, noticing how close your faces are.

you and jisung laid there, the both of you being absorbed into the situation. you saw the sparkles in his eyes. something in your gut tells you to confess right now. right there. and so you do.

“i like you,” you breathed out, you felt like you were glowing, you felt like nothing can stop you. “i like you so much, park jisung.”

you and jisung finally became a happy couple after the ice skating rink incident. at the end of the holiday break, you walked hand-in-hand with jisung to station 9⅓ heading back to hogwarts. you two met chenle on the train, he smiles widely noticing the skinship between you and jisung.

“so did my matchmaking skills pay off?” chenle asked, moving his pet owl to the side of the booth.

blush paints jisung’s cheeks, trying to deny chenle’s statement. “absolutely not.”

but chenle knew they had and so did jisung and you.

[atlafan]

a/n: these have been in my inbox for a while, and I thought why not just get all of these into one big blurby bundle??? I think I hit the main things everyone wanted. Enjoy! There is smut in this fam! @dancinginblackandred​ @harryhiswatermelon​

Lock the Door - Blurb Four - Harry and Y/N Play House

The semester was just about to end, and finals week was upon everyone. But that didn’t mean parties weren’t still a thing. Harry was hesitant to bring Y/N over to Matt’s, but she had practically begged him to bring her out. 

“I need to de-stress, and his parties are fun.” She whines. 

“I know, but...it’s a little awkward, don’t you think? Have you two even spoken so since you hooked up?”

“No.” She shrugs. “Doesn’t he know you and I are together?”

“I haven’t had a chance to say anything. I’ve been busy working on different projects.” 

“Harry, please, bring me with you. I need to go out and have fun, and I’d rather have fun with you.” She pouts.

“God.” He leans in to kiss her. “You make it really hard to say no...” 

It’s a chilly evening, so Y/N clings to Harry’s arm as they walk. The smells of weed and alcohol fill their nostrils as they walk into the apartment. Harry finds a place to put their coats, and the second he finds Y/N, Matt has already backed her up against a wall, clearly uncomfortable. Harry rolls his eyes and comes onto the scene. He yanks Matt back by the collar of his shirt. 

“Yo, what the fuck, Harry?”

“She’s got a boyfriend, mate.”

“Oh really, who?” He crosses his arms. 

“Me.” Harry takes a step closer, getting in his face.

“Harry, relax, I was just about to tell him.” Y/N says, hoping a fight isn’t about to break out. 

“Whatever.” Matt rolls his eyes. “Her and loose cunt are worth it anyw-” Smack.

Y/N gasps as Matt hits the floor. Harry looks down at his knuckles and then to her. She grabs him and pulls him into the kitchen to get some ice. She moves people out of the way as she does so. She gets some ice from the freezer and finds a cloth to wrap it in.

“You didn’t have to do that.” She says, not looking up at him.

“Don’t even start, you heard what he said.”

“I did.” She looks up at him. “You should have let me punch him.” She winks, and he hooks an arm around her to hug her close. 

“Harry, did you just punch Matt?” One of his other friends asks.

“Yeah, he was talking shit about my girlfriend, is that a problem?”

“Nope, just wanted to confirm it was you.” He shrugs. “Didn’t know if we needed to kick some random out.”

“Nah,it was me.” 

//

Finals week was busy as fuck. This would be the last week Harry and Y/N would have until they’d both be going home for for the holidays. Sure, they’d be coming back two weeks later to be on campus for winter break, but still. Y/N just had projects or presentations, nothing she really needed to study for. But Harry was either in the computer lab working on a larger screen for his graphic design stuff, or down at the studio painting. 

Every time she looked over at his empty bed she was sad. He’d come home super late and would be too tired to even crawl into bed with her. One night she decides to order a small pizza and bring it down to him. It was kind of creepy going into the studio so late. 

“Harry?” She squeaks as she goes into the room she knows he paints in.

“Y/N?” He looks up and rubs his eyes. “Did you walk down her by yourself? It’s late.” He frowns.

“Had my keys in my hand the whole time.” She smiles. “I brought you some pizza.” 

“Aww...” He takes it from her and kisses her cheek. “Thank you.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you all week.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He sighs and grabs a slice. “My graphic design stuff took longer than I thought so I’m frantically trying to get things done here. I know you wanted to spend time together before we’re both gone for two weeks.” 

“It’s okay, I understand. Wanna show me what you’ve been working on?” 

He nods and walks her around to the different drawings and paintings. He explains the choices he made for each one. She was in awe of him. 

“You’re so talented, I can’t get over it.” She wraps her arms around his waist and nuzzles into his chest. “Miss you.” She mumbles. 

“Fuck, and I still have so much to do...otherwise I’d come home now.” 

“Any chance of you taking a break?” She looks up at him.

“What kind of break.” He smirks. 

“Are there cameras in here?” She looks around. 

“Not in the rooms no, just in the halls. Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

“Could be fun?” She smiles. 

He grabs her by the hips and lifts her onto the table. She giggles while he hooks his fingers into her leggings. 

“I’m very surprised by you.”

“Thought you knew by now that I’m not some goody goody.”

“I know, but this is like...really cool.” He kisses her as her hands work his belt and zipper. 

Harry slides her leggings down and leaves them around her ankles. He runs his fingers over he slit and moves her panties to the side. She groans into the kiss as he pushes his fingers inside her. 

“Still need to be quiet, I may be the only one in this room, but I’m not the only one in the building.” 

“Okay.” She whispers. 

“I don’t have any condoms with me, shit.” 

“In my jacket.” You nod over to it. 

Even though they both had been intimate a million times at this point, neither of them had been tested, so condoms were still a good idea. They both agreed to go to the doctor when you’re home. 

“You thought of everything didn’t you?” He smirks as he rifles through her jacket pocket. 

He rolls the condom on his hard cock and pulls her a little closer. her head rolls back the second his tip starts to push inside. Her legs wrap around his waist to get him even closer. She clings to him, nails digging into his back. The room was filled with the sounds of their heavy breathing and panting. 

“Shit, I’m...I’m not gonna last very long...” He groans. “You feel too good.” 

“It’s okay, just touch me.” She leans back on her elbows, and his hand immediately starts rubbing her clit, while his other clutches to her hip. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” He grunts. 

She loved making him feel this way. He also just knew exactly what to do with his hands. Her release was coming just as quick. She bites her bottom lip and put her forearm over her mouth to stifle her moans. He loses it when she does. They stay like that for a moment until they both catch their breaths. He pulls out and finds a garbage can for the condom. She hops of the table and pulls her leggings back up. 

“I hope your phone’s charged.” He says to her.

“Why?”

“Because I still have work to do, and no way am I lettin’ yeh walk back by yourself. So sit and get comfy, okay?”

“Alright.” She shrugs, too fucked out to argue. She grabs a slice of pizza and sits as he gets back to painting.

As she watches him it dawns on her that she’s totally and completely in love with Harry. She almost chokes on her pizza just thinking about it. She couldn’t tell him, could she? Would it make things weird? What if everything went wrong?

“Y/N?” Harry turns around to look at her, leaning against the table. 

“Yeah?” 

“I, uh, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Harry.” 

“Cool.” He smiles and turns back around.

“Cool.” 

//

Y/N was happy to be back on campus, especially since she had her entire apartment alone with Harry. Liv and Chris didn’t have a reason for being on campus. Y/N got an easy job working for admissions answering calls, emails, and sending out mail. Harry would usually get back from basketball practice when she’d be getting home from work. They’d cook together a lot, it was great. 

“Hey...” He was looking around your shared room. “What if we pushed our beds together like Liv and Chris?” He turns to look at you.

“We can’t.”

“Why not?” He frowns. 

“Because...well...I finally told my parents we were sharing a room like I said I would...they weren’t thrilled, but they understood with Liv and Chris. But...”

“You still haven’t told them we’re together?” He sits down next to her, clearly disappointed. “I told my mum...”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just have this fear that they’ll yank me out of here if they knew. They like you, I just think they wouldn’t understand. I mean, to them it’s like we’re playing house at a really young age.”

“So they don’t mind we’re sharing a room?”

“They’re annoyed, but they’re dealing with it. I’m sorry, Harry. I’ll tell them, I just can’t yet.” 

“Well, they always call before they visit. Why not push ‘em together, and then we can separate ‘em when they come?” 

“Oh, so you don’t like being pressed up against each other all night anymore?” She jokes.

“I love it, but it would be nice to have a bit more room to spread out.” He kisses her. “Don’t you think?” 

“I suppose.” She kisses him. 

“Are you able to come to my game tomorrow?” 

“Mhm.” She smiles. “And I’m gonna drive out to your away game this weekend. I’ll be like your personal cheerleader.”

“You’re the best.” He squishes his nose to yours and gives you another kiss. 

Harry had gotten Y/N a sweatshirt with his last name and jersey number on it for her to wear to his games. A lot of the guys did that with for their girlfriends. She was happy to wear it. She looked extremely cute sitting in the stands. She waved to him and blew him a kiss. He was a starting player, so he was very busy. 

She had completely forgotten the dance team would also be there in their skimpy outfits. Harry wasn’t allowed to chat between quarters, coach’s rules, but that didn’t apply to the dance team girls. Y/N felt annoyed when she saw him laughing with a couple of them. He looks up at her and waves though, taking all jealousy away. He only had eyes for her and she knew that. 

“Woo! Go Harry!” She would cheer and clap for him, especially when he made a basket. 

The team won the game, it was very exciting. Y/N knew it was okay to go onto the court when she saw the other girlfriends go down to their boyfriends. She races down the bleachers and practically jumped into his arms. He spun her around and kissed her.

“Sorry.” He sets her down and lets her go. “M’all sweaty. Might shower quick.” 

“Please, don’t ever apologize. You know I think you look hot like this.” She runs her hand up his tattooed arm. 

“H, meet us downtown in an hour to celebrate.” One of the guys says and he nods. 

“Feel like goin’ out?”

“Where to?”

“One of the bars.”

“But...we’re not twenty-one yet.”

“They’re cool with us during winter break usually. They’ll just stamp our hands. Then we’ll go back to Pete’s for a real party.” He grins.

“Sounds good to me.” 

Harry looks around and sees not many people going into the locker room, and tugs you to walk in there with him. 

“Harry.” She whispers. “Isn’t your coach still here?”

“You mean my female coach whose office is in the women’s locker room?” He cock’s an eyebrow at you. “Think we’re good. I need to shower and it’ll take too much time to go all the way back home.” 

“I know you don’t think I’m getting naked in here.” She crosses her arms. 

“Oh, so you’ll fuck me in the studio, but not in here?”

“Nope, sorry. It stinks in here. But...we’re gonna drive downtown right?”

“Yeah.”

“So...shower quick.” She winks and leaves the locker room.

Harry does so and meets her back in the main part of the gym. They walk out to his car and she immediately climbs into the back seat. He smirks and starts the car up so it can get warm. He joins her in the back.

“See.” She says straddling him. “Isn’t this better?”

“Mhm.” He kisses on her neck. “I love seein’ yeh wear this sweatshirt.” 

“I love wearing it.” She rolls her hips down on his. She feels him growing hard against him. “You have no idea the torture of watching you play, and get all sweaty, and see your muscles and just everything about you out there.”

“I thought it was torturous watchin’ me paint?” He says against her neck as he tugs the sweatshirt off her. 

“It is, it’s all torture. My biggest problem with you is that you’re too sexy, Harry. Everything you do is hot.” 

“I could say the same for you.” He unhooks her bra and shoves his face into her chest and groans. “This is my favorite place in the world.” He mumbles, making her giggle. “Right between.” He kisses on one of her breasts. “These big.” He kisses on the other. “Tits.” He licks around one of her nipples and sucks it into his mouth. She rolls her hips on his again, grinding against his hard-on. 

She reaches for the button on his jeans and the hem of his shirt. It was clear she wanted him naked. He rips his shirt off and tugs his jeans down. She gets hers off as well. He takes her gets her fixed on all fours. She thinks he’s about to stick it in, but she jolts when she feels his tongue. 

“Just need to taste yeh first, that alright?”

“Mhm.” 

His tongue works from her clit all the way up dangerously close to her other hole. His tongue enters her center while his thumb works her clit. 

“Harry, please, fuck me.” She groans. “Need your dick, please.” 

He pulls away from her lines his dick up with her and pushes in. They both sigh with relief. They had been using condoms less since they both came back clean. 

“You feel so fuckin’ good.” He moans.

“So do you, so big.” She bites her bottom lip. 

The windows in the car got foggy, and they could barely hear the music coming from the radio from how loud his skin was slapping against her. His balls were hitting against her clit just right. 

“Oh my god, fuck, don’t stop.” She moans. 

He moves faster and faster, and he feels her tighten around him. She lets out a moan of his name as she releases around him. He pulls out to come on her ass. She was panting and collapses onto her stomach. Harry grabs a towel from his gym bag to clean her up.

“Thanks.” She breathes. 

He hums his response as she flips over. He pulls her panties and jeans up her legs for her and she smiles big at him. 

“I love you.”She says.

“I love you too.”

They both finish getting dressed and drive down to the bar. Y/N liked Harry’s basketball friends, they were really nice. Some even had boyfriends. They all order some nachos and other junk food to split. 

Y/N knew as soon as the semester started the little bubble they were in would burst, but for now all was good. Her head was leaning on the shoulder of the guy she was absolutely smitten with. Harry Styles was in a monogamous relationship for the first time in his life, and he couldn’t be happier. 

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 99

warnings: mentions of vomit?? Hold My Hand Masterlist

The airport is crowded with people on their way home for the holidays, and you watch as a young couple embrace and kiss each other endlessly. You smile when you see a little girl running up to her dad, and he lifts her into his arms as he walks over and kisses his wife. Your eyes are peeled for your mom, and you have butterflies in your stomach in anticipation of finally seeing her again.

Finn is sleeping in his stroller as you and Tess sit and wait for your mom to get off the plane, and you’re hoping your mom gets off soon before he wakes up and starts crying. Plus you promised John that you would let her stop by the shop before you went home so he could show it off since you’ve updated a few things since she saw it last, and it’s safe to say he’s very excited.

“I’m so excited for Christmas.” Tess says as she looks over at you, “I mean, it sucks that Finn is still just a teeny tiny baby, so he can’t open presents, but Jimmy and I can!”

“Well, he can try to rip the paper at least.” you laugh and look over to see more people coming off their flights, and you spot your mom coming down the steps. “There she is!”

“Hi!” she waves wildly and walks a little faster. She wraps her arms around you and hugs you tight, then she opens her arms again to hug Tess, “My girls! Oh, and my handsome boy. Look at him!”

Tess laughs and leans down to move Finn’s blanket off his face, “He just cried the whole way here and tired himself out, so he’s sleeping. He’s a bit cranky lately. He’s teething a little early.”

“Oh, no.” your mom frowns, leaning over the stroller to kiss Finn, “Goodness, he’s chunky.”

“Yeah, he loves food.” Tess says as you all make your way out to the car. “He still drinks milk, but he did get his first taste of plums the other day. Didn’t love it. What he did love though was the carrots.”

“I bet he’ll love apples when he tries them. You loved them when you were little.” your mom smiles and gets in the front seat of the car while you put her suitcase in the trunk. “Your mom made the mistake of giving you fruit first, and she had said you didn’t want anything but apples for an entire week. She had to trick you to get you to eat some vegetables as well.”

Tess laughs and nods her head, “I read that in my baby book.”

“How is James?”

Tess chuckles as she gets Finn buckled into the seat, “He’s good. He’s been really good lately. We’re getting back to our normal since Finn’s been born, which is good. We were a bit stressed for a while there, just trying to figure out all of Finn’s little habits, and his little sleep issue he was having. That’s all fixed, so we’re all good again. No thanks to this one and John.”

You feel Tess’ hand on your shoulder as you start the car, and you let out a small laugh, “It was nothing. We just watched Finn for them a few nights while they…spent some time together and went on dates.”

Your mom smiles, looking over at you, “I love that you girls look at for one another. That’s very sweet of you to do.”

“Well, Tess would do it for me.” you say, looking in the rear view mirror, “I’m not pregnant, so don’t ask.”

Your mom laughs and looks over at you, “How is that wonderful man, Jonathan?”

“Why is John ‘wonderful’? Why didn’t Jimmy get that? He’s wonderful.” Tess says, crossing her arms.

Your mom turns around in her seat a little and pats Tess’ leg, “You know I think James is wonderful too. I think he’s a saint for being able to put up with you.”

You try to hold in a laugh, but it slips out. Tess laughs and rolls her eyes, and your mom smiles at her. Of course Tess knows that your mom loves John and Jimmy just the same, but it’s always fun to tease her.

“Jonathan is good, by the way.” you say, pulling off the highway, “He’s at the shop, which he made me promise I would let you see before we went home. We’re closed already but he went in to pick up a little bit before you came in. I should probably call him.”

The line rings repeatedly and you hear John laughing as he answers the phone, “Hi, baby!”

“Hi, John.”

John laughs, “Did you get to the airport okay? Did you get mom?”

“Hello, Jonathan.” your mom says, waving at your phone.

“Mom, he’s on speaker. He can’t see you.” you laugh, “Babe, we’re on our way to the shop now. Are you still there?”

“Yup, Jimmy and I are just cleaning it up. I figured since mom is here now, I’ll just close the shop two days early. I’ll call everyone and let them know tonight.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, turning down the long road that leads to Mill Neck.

“Yeah,” John says, “I want to be able to spend some time with mom as well. I’ll still hang out in the basement to let you two spend some time alone.”

Your mom laughs, “You don’t have to hide from us.”

“Hey, I’m like 15 minutes away. I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay, love you. Please drive safely. It’s slippery out.” he says before hanging up.

__

The shop has lights strung up in the windows, and the trees out front have lights in them as well. The town look so cute and quaint, and so festive. In the middle of the small town square, there’s a lot that is set up for people to get their Christmas trees, and there’s only a few left. There’s one massive tree in the center that is all decorated with lights and large ornaments, and there’s even a few booths set up for the winter festival that is taking place, which you and John are planning on attending tonight.

You open the shop door to see John and Jimmy sitting at the table in the middle of the shop, and they both get up to greet you when you all walk in.

“Hey.” John says, walking over to you. He leans down to kiss you, then he quickly moves to hug your mom. “Hey, mom. How was your flight?”

“It was lovely.” she says, hugging John and moving to hug Jimmy. “It went pretty fast.”

“Good, good.” Jimmy says, then he reaches down to get Finn out of his carrier.

John gestures to the shop and smiles, “Looks a little different since you were here last.”

Your mom begins to walk around the shop and she marvels at everything. She points at the back corner -- the reading nook for kids -- and she smiles, “That’s just too sweet.”

“John and I were back there the other week while a little girl read to us. She was so cute.” you laugh and wrap your arms around John’s bicep as you yawn.

“Sleepy mouse.” John whispers, leaning down to kiss the top of your head.

You tilt your head back and nod, “Yeah, it’s been a long day.”

“Is mom staying with us tonight?”

You shake your head and point at Finn, “She wants to get her hands on that baby, so no. She’s staying with them for a few days. I feel bad, I feel like she thinks she has to split her time, but she doesn’t need to. She can stay with them the whole time she’s here, I would understand. She wants to spend time with her grandson.”

“I can hear you, you know.” your mom laughs as she walks back over. “I just don’t want you to think I don’t care about you.”

“Definitely don’t think that, mom.” you say, looking over at Finn bouncing in Jimmy’s arms, “I would rather hang out with that little chunk than us anyway. We’re just going to go home and probably fall asleep on the couch.”

“That’s true.” John nods, putting his hand over his mouth as he yawns, “I’m exhausted.”

“Okay, well, I just don’t want you to feel like I don’t want to spend time with you.” she says, moving closer to you.

“Hey,” John looks down at you, “Did you tell mom about our plan?”

You give him a stern look, then roll your eyes, “No, Jonathan. I did not.”

“Ooh, that earned quite a look.” Jimmy laughs, bending down to put Finn back in his car seat, “We better get out of here.”

Your mom looks at you and smiles, “What’s your plan?”

Taking a deep breath, you let go of John’s arm and reach out for your mom’s hand, “I know that you’ve been trying to sell the house and no one has offered to buy it yet.”

“Well, it’s a terrible time for it. I should just put it up for sale again this spring.”

You nod your head and look over at John, “Well, Jonathan and I were talking the other night and I told him about my conversation I had with Tess. We really want you to move here. Finn is 5 months old. If you put the house back up for sale in the spring, he’ll be nearly 9 months. Almost a year old. You’ll have missed that whole first year of his life.”

“That’s very true. I just try to FaceTime with Tess as much as I can.” your mom says, looking at Finn. “I realize I’ve missed a lot already, and it breaks my heart but there’s not much I can do about it. If I could get someone to buy the house, I would.”

“Well, what if we had somewhat of a solution?” John ask, reaching for your hand, “What if tomorrow, we went and checked out a few houses in Oyster Bay? I’ve already called someone and they said that they’d be willing to show us two houses that are for sale. I think you might be interested in them.”

“That’s very, very sweet of you.” she says, squeezing John's bicep, “But that still doesn't change the fact that I don't have the money for it.”

Tess laughs and raises her eyebrows, “Mom.”

“We want you here, mom.” you say as you reach for her hand, “I can’t stand the thought of you missing out on your first grandchild’s life. Jonathan and I have been trying like crazy to get pregnant, and we’re hoping to get pregnant soon, so we really want you here too.” you look up at John and smile, then you look back at your mom, “I mean, here as in New York. We want you in the state, not like…”

“In your house.” your mom says, winking at you. “I get it.”

“Yeah, and this is where we leave.” you laugh and zip your coat back up. You look up at John, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him, “I’m gonna take her home so she can drop her stuff off, then I’ll meet you at the festival. I love you.”

John rubs his thumb over your cheek and holds your gaze, “I love you. Please drive carefully. We don’t want another repeat of last time, do we?”

You roll your eyes and look over you shoulder at him as you open the door -- you know he only said something so your mom would ask. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will.”

Your mom laughs as she follows behind you, and you get in the car to warm it up again. Tess opens the back door to get in, and she buckles Finn into his seat again.

“What happened the other day?” your mom asks, almost on cue.

You buckle yourself in and laugh, “It rained and it froze, and…my brakes wouldn’t work, so I slid and ran into a pole. John was at work, and I was on my way in. He nearly had a heart attack when he saw my lip all bloody. It was no one’s fault, but John called the city and cussed them out for not putting down salt, so that was kinda sweet.”

“Honey! Are you okay?” your mom asks, grabbing your arm.

You laugh, “Yeah, I’m fine. I just busted my lip open when I hit the pole. Nothing big. Oh, and dented my car. Aurelio fixed it for me the next day.”

“You’re a whole mess.” Tess laughs from the backseat, “No wonder John worries about you all the time.”

__

As you walk around the festival, you cling to John when a shiver runs up your spine, and he pulls you closer to him to warm you up. It’s a cold night, but thankfully there’s little fire pits around for you to be able to warm yourself up. John is sipping on a little cup of hot chocolate, and he offers some to you with a smile on his face.

“Don’t mind if I do!” you say, taking a sip of his drink, then you hand it back to him. “I’m hungry, like beyond hungry. I need food right this minute.”

John laughs as he looks at you, “Okay, okay, we’ll feed you.”

The air is filled with the smell of food and the sounds of people singing Christmas carols, and your heart is almost bursting with joy. There’s a small choir singing up on a stage, and you notice a little group of kids standing around and waiting to get their picture taken with Santa.

“Want your picture with Santa?” John teases, then he takes a sip of his hot chocolate, “You’ve been good this year, well, you were a little naughty the other night though.”

You look up at him and smirk, “I don’t wanna sit on his lap.”

John cocks up his eyebrow as he looks down at you, “Oh? Is there someone else in mind?”

Nodding your head, you stand in front of John as he leans down to kiss you, and he pulls you closer to you after he tosses his cup into the garbage. You laugh against his lips when you hear Tess groan in disgust, and you look over your shoulder at her.

“So gross,” she teases, nudging John’s arm when she walks past.

You smile when you see Jimmy with Finn in his arms, and you rub your finger over his cheek as he squeals, “Hi, handsome!”

“Hey,” Jimmy says, winking at you when you look at him. “Oh, you meant him? Right.”

Tess gasps when she sees Santa, “We need to get his picture with him. He’s good with people, he’ll be okay.”

You look around to make sure your mom didn’t get left behind, and you smile when you see her talking to John as they stand at a booth with homemade candles. You turn back to Tess as she reaches for your hand, then you follow her over to Santa.

“Hi, Santa!” Tess smiles, taking Finn from Jimmy. “He’s been a really good boy this year!”

Letting out a small laugh, you look around while Tess helps get Finn into Santa’s arms, and you smile when you see Grace and Tony holding hands as they walk through the crowd. You watch them as they walk closer to John, and he smiles when he turns and looks at you, then he introduces them to your mom.

“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa says loudly, which scares the absolute shit out of Finn, and he starts to cry and reach out for Jimmy. “Oh, no, Santa didn’t mean to scare you.”

Jimmy laughs as he reaches out for Finn, “He’s alright. Thank you, Santa.”

“Yeah, thanks, Santa. Now that kid won’t stop crying.” Tess says under her breath as you all walk back over to meet your mom and John.

John holds up a corndog for you and smiles, “Got you something to eat.”

“Ugh, thank you. I’m starving.” you smile, then you take a bite and offer some to John. You take a few more bites of it, then you give the rest to John since you definitely ate way too fast.

Reaching for your hand, John pulls you closer and wraps his arm around your shoulder, then he leans down to kiss you. You’re feeling a lot more tired than usual, but today has been a long ass day with the cleaning and shopping you had to do for Christmas. You just want to get home and crawl in bed with John.

You place your hand on your stomach when you start to feel a little queasy, but you swallow it down and continue walking down the pathway with John. Tess looks over at you and cocks her eyebrow up when you furrow your brow a little, then she quietly gasps and grabs your arm.

“Uh, I…I need to talk to her.” Tess says to John, and he lets go of you and smiles before he keeps walking. Tess pulls you off the pathway and into the snow, then she widens her eyes and looks at you, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” you laugh quietly, “I think I’m getting the flu.”

Tess cocks her eyebrow up again and laughs, “Uh, are you sure? Because…”

“I’m not pregnant. I can’t be.” you shake your head and look at her, “I mean, my ovulation day was…two weeks ago.”

“Yeah!” Tess laughs, “You two have been trying like crazy!”

You take a deep breath as you look over at her, then you widen your eyes and look around for a trash can. You immediately run over to it and tilt your head inside, then you vomit twice as Tess rubs your back.

“I just ate something that my stomach doesn’t agree with,” you say firmly as you look at her. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Tess nods, then she grabs some napkins from the hot chocolate booth to wipe off your mouth. “But I mean, we know that’s not true, right?”

You wipe off your mouth and toss the napkins into the trash, “Um, I don’t know.”

“Look, I know you’re scared. Negative tests aren’t fun.” Tess says as she reaches for your hand, “But don’t lie, you know you’re a little excited at the thought.”

A smile spreads across your face as you look at her, then you tear up and look away, “I obviously want this to be it, but I don’t know. I really think I just caught the flu.”

“Hey!” John calls out to you and wave you over, and you put your finger up and smile.

You look back at Tess and inhale deeply, “I have the flu.”

“Sure.” Tess nods as she walks away, then she laughs, “Sure, you do.”

John smiles as you walk back over to him, and he reaches out for your hand and presses to kiss to it when he feels your fingers are like little popsicles. He rubs them between his hands to warm them up, then he presses kisses to them over and over as you laugh.

“You’re freezing.”

“Just my fingers,” you laugh as you put your gloves back on, “Just because I took my gloves off for a minute, otherwise I feel fine.”

John zips your jacket up more and pulls your stocking cap down so it’s nearly over your eyes, and you groan loudly as you push it out of your face. A smile spreads across John’s face as he looks down at you, and you reach up and pull his stocking cap over his eyes before you run away from him.

“So…” your mom looks over at you and smiles, and you can tell she wants to ask how about the whole baby thing is coming along, but she’s too sweet to be so upfront about it.

“No baby yet.” you shake your head and shrug, “Soon, we hope. We’re trying not to get stressed out about it, and I even talked to my doctor and she told me to track my ovulation with this app, so that’s what we’re doing.”

John smiles as he stands next to you, then he reaches down and rubs your stomach, “Who knows? There could be a baby in there.”

You scoff loudly, “He says that every month. It’s been two weeks since my ovulation day, so calm down.”

“Do you even know at two weeks?” Jimmy chimes as he sips on a cup of hot chocolate.

Your mom nods, “Some people do. Tess certainly didn’t know.”

“I did not,” she inhales deeply and laughs, “But once I realized that I was pregnant, it was like all the symptoms happened at once. I was clinging to the toilet one minute, I was hot and annoyed at everything -- not just Jimmy for once.”

Jimmy playfully nudges Tess’ shoulder, “Ha, ha.”

“Some people get tender breasts, mood swings, fatigue, oh, and a missed period.” your mom says, looking over at you.

You laugh as you roll your eyes playfully, “Well, I’ll be getting my period soon, so fingers crossed, right?”

“Fingers crossed that you don’t!” John says, and you let out a small laugh as you look at him. The smile on your face fades a little as you look at him, and he gives you a small nod, immediately changing the subject, “So, mom, how is everything back home?”

Holding tight to John’s hand, you continue walking with everyone through the festival, and Tess smirks as she looks over at you and looks down at your stomach. You smile as you hold her gaze, then you grip John’s hand a little tighter and smile as you look up at him.

__

John is in his office making the final calls to the employees to let them know that they don’t need to come into work until after the holidays, and you hear him laughing on the phone. You’re sure they’re more than happy to have the extra days off. You lean against the door frame and pull your arms around yourself, smiling as John talks on his phone.

“Yup, you’re scheduled for Monday the 6th at 11.” John says as he looks up at you, ogling you when he sees you in shorts and a tank top, and you playfully roll your eyes. He smiles and nods his head, “Okay, Tony. Enjoy your time off. Merry Christmas.”

You smile at John as he puts his phone down, “All done? I got the movie ready.”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” he says, getting up from his desk to walk over to you. He takes your hands and pulls you into his arms, then he gasps and leans back, “You’re warm.”

“I know,” you laugh as you back away from him, “Think I’m getting the flu.”

You look over your shoulder at John as he follows you to the living room, and he frowns at the thought of you being sick during Christmas.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Nah,” you wave it off and sit down on the couch, “I’ll be fine, and if I get the flu, I get the flu.”

John sighs softly, leaning down to kiss you, “Yeah, but we don’t want you to be sick.”

“I’ll be fine, baby.” you lean up to kiss John again, then you gesture to the TV, “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.”

“Yes! Let me change into my pajamas, then I’ll get some popcorn started.”

You nod your head as you look at him, then you inhale deeply and hold your breath until he’s upstairs and in the bedroom before you quickly shut yourself in the bathroom. You turn the faucet on as you lean over the toilet and dry-heave several times before you squeeze your eyes shut and cough. You spit a little in the toilet and sit up as you try to catch your breath.

“No puke?” you whisper to yourself, then you flush the toilet and look at yourself in the mirror, trying to convince yourself not to get your hopes up, “It’s just the flu.”

A knock at the door startles you, and you open the door and smile at John as you walk out. He steps back and furrows his brow a little, gesturing to the bathroom.

“You’re okay?”

You smile as you lean up to kiss him, “Of course.”

“Okay,” John eyes you a little as you walk past him, and he lets out a small laugh when you give him a funny look. “Just checking.”

John walks over to the pantry to get a bag of popcorn out, and you glance up at him every so often and wonder if he thinks there’s something going on with you other than just being sick. You’re trying your best to not get your hopes up, but you’re curious to know why you’re suddenly sick even though it’s pretty damn obvious -- again, not getting those hopes up though.

“Did you try to open one of your presents?” John asks, and you laugh loudly. “Because you know you’re not allowed to peek, mouse.”

“I did not try to open one of my gifts, I’m offended.”

John leans over the counter and holds your gaze as the sound of popcorn popping fills the kitchen. He squints his eyes playfully at you, and since he’s not onto the whole possibly being pregnant thing, you decide to play along.

“Fine!” you throw your arms up and laugh, “I tried to peek into the bag.”

“Peach!” John laughs as he walks over to you, and you smile as you tilt your head back to look at him, then he bends you over the counter and playfully spanks you, “Naughty.”

You smile as you turn around to look at him, then you shrug, “Oh, come on, just let me open one!”

“One,” he nods before walking over to his popcorn, “Just one, and it has to be that bag.”

Clapping your hands together, you smile at John as he gets his popcorn and M&Ms, then you walk over to grab a can of pop from the fridge and a bottle of water. You follow John into the living room with a smile on your face, and you immediately walk over to the Christmas tree.

“That one, only that one.” John says as you walk back over to the couch with it.

“Heavier than I thought.”

Sitting down on the couch next to John, you set the bag between the two of you, then you reach in and pull out something rectangular wrapped in red tissue paper. You look up at John as he smiles, then you pull the paper back to reveal the beautiful cover of Charlotte’s Web. The dark blue leather of the cover compliments the gold etching and writing, and there’s Charlotte, Wilbur and Fern right in the center of the cover.

You gasp as you look up at him, “Is this…”

“It’s yours.” he nods, scooting a little closer, “I’ve had it rebound for a while, but I just couldn’t do this etching of Charlotte and Wilbur on the leather myself, so I had to send it somewhere to get it done.”

“Baby, that’s Fern.” you chuckle as you look over at him, then you run your finger down the book where Charlotte is in, “Charlotte was the spider, remember?”

“Shit, yeah,” John laughs, looking down at his hands, “Sorry, I knew that, I’m just…I’m just nervous.”

Running your finger over the cover of the book, you bite your cheek as you begin to tear up. You’re already on the verge of tears, but when you open the cover and see John’s stamp on the inside, you immediately burst into tears.

“That’s so sweet,” you sniffle as you look over at him, “This is so beautiful. Thank you so much.”

John moves your hair off your shoulder and laughs as he rubs your back, “Why are you crying, sweetheart?”

You take the tissue that John is offering you, then you blow your nose and grab another tissue as John watches with a smile on his face. You take a deep breath and look over at him, but as soon as your eyes meet, you start to cry again. Hopefully you can stop being so damn emotional soon so John doesn’t get too suspicious.

“I’m sorry,” you laugh as John reaches over for your bottle of water and offers it to you. You quickly take a drink of it and inhale deeply to try to control your emotions, “Okay, I think I’m good now.”

John chuckles softly, rubbing his hand over your back, “You’re so sweet.”

“This means so much to me, and I know how much work you put into these books. I’ve been with you when you’ve worked on some these past few weeks, I know it takes a bit of work to get them just right.” you look down at your book and open it to see John’s stamp again, “Just knowing that you took the time to do this for me means so much, you have no idea. I love this, and it’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it.” John says softly as you look over at him, “I just didn’t want you to think I ruined it.”

You shake your head as you lean over to kiss him, “I told you that I wanted you to rebind it.”

“I know, but I didn’t want you to hate it.”

“I could never,” you whisper to him as you hold his gaze, “It’s beautiful.”

John smiles as he carefully takes the book from you, then he opens it and looks over at you, “Can’t wait to read this to our baby.”

“Yeah,” you cry as you nod your head, and John pulls you closer to his side, “I can’t wait.”

You close your eyes and try to control your emotions a little better since you don’t want John to be suspicious at all. You want him to be completely blindsided if you do end up being pregnant.

“Oh,” John sits up and grabs the bag, “There’s something else.”

Furrowing your brow, you sit cross-legged on the couch as John sets the bag in your lap, then you reach in and grab out the other gift. You pull the tissue paper off of it and smile wide as you look down at the original cover from your book that John has placed into a frame. You put your hand over your mouth when you see the small note from the inside cover that your mom had wrote to you in the frame too, and you smile as you read it.

Never hurry and never worry, my love. So proud to be your momma! Happy birthday, baby. Love always, mom.

You look over at John as he smiles and wipes away the tears on your cheeks, then he wraps his arms around you and hugs you tight.

“The fact that you thought to save this…”

John leans back and nods, “I knew you’d want it, so I framed it. Thought we could put it in the baby’s room.”

You smile as you lean back to look at John, then you get up from the couch and nod towards to baby’s room. John happily hops up and reaches for your hand as the two of you head upstairs, and you press a kiss to the back of his hand when he looks at you.

Turning on the light in the bedroom, you immediately hold the frame up to figure out where to put it, then you shrug and look over at John.

“The theme is going to be moon and stars, so I don’t think I want this right smack dab in the middle of the room.”

John carefully takes the picture from you and holds it up near the closet, “How about here? Maybe we can get another little Charlotte’s Web picture and put it here too. And when you come in here, it’s not the first thing you look at, but it’s the last thing you see when you leave.”

“Yeah, I like it there.” you nod as John hands the picture to you, then he gets the hammer and quickly hammers a nail into the wall. John gestures to it and smiles, letting you be the one to hang it up, and you stand back and look at it, “First picture in the baby’s room is officially hung.”

Chuckling softly, John wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head, “Not even pregnant yet, and we already got a picture up.”

“Well, we have a few things already.” you say as you gesture to the other pictures, blankets, and stuffed animals the two of you have bought.

“Now we just need a baby!” John laughs, rubbing his hand over your stomach. He leans forward a little to look at you, then he puckers his lips and kisses you repeatedly until you’re laughing.

You lean back against John’s chest as the two of you look at the picture and hold each other for a few moments, and you discreetly move your hand to your stomach and rub it slowly as a smile spreads across your face.

Yeah, now we just need a baby.

__

taglist:  @luv0714 | @aragornswife​ | @emptywords92​ | @tnu-ree​ | @ruby-octo​ @callmeglenncoco | | @themeforanudebeach​ | @a--1--1--3​​ | @that-one-writer | @lostandfaceless​​ | @artistic-discontentment | @ficsnroses​

[shuadotcom]

Love Sick | JHS

♡ Summary: When you’re sick on your favorite holiday, Hoseok just wants to make you feel better. ♡ Pairing: Hoseok x Gender Neutral!Reader ♡ Genre: Fluff, established relationship ♡ Rating: G ♡ Warnings: None ♡ Word Count: 1.8k ♡ A/N: For @btsholidaybingo​. Halloween may be over on the calendar, but it still lives on in my heart and through my Halloween wips that I’m still working through. Bingo Square: Horror Movies

Jiminie: Hyung is freaking out because you're not answering his calls or texts

You sigh when your phone vibrates for what seems like the hundredth time and finally look at it.

Y/n: Sorry, I've been asleep all day

That isn’t a lie. You had slept most of the early morning away. The rest of the day was spent watching bad Netflix horror movies and throwing up what was left of your tainted dinner from the previous night. Of all the days your body decides it’s time to be ill, being sick on your favorite holiday was truly a betrayal.

Jiminie: All day? It's nearly four, and it’s Halloween. What's wrong?

Y/n: Nothing! I’m pretty sure I just have food poisoning. 

Y/n: DON'T TELL HOSEOK. I don't want him worrying about me. You know how he is when I’m sick.

You should've known not to trust Jimin to keep your secret. Out of all of the members, you’re closest to Jimin and trust him most. Even so, you know this little tidbit of information is going to slip through his friend filter and that he’s going to tell Hoseok out of worry for you.

Not even half an hour after you’ve sent him the text and he replies with an 'okay,’ you hear your front door open. You bury yourself further under the covers and groan, making a mental note to exact revenge on Jimin when you feel better.

"Y/n!?"

As annoyed as you are with Jimin, you can’t help but smile at the sound of Hoseok's voice. It’s one of your favorite sounds.

"In my room!" You manage to croak out, throat feeling raw. You listen to his footsteps rushing down the hall and the crinkling of a paper bag. You smile at the sight of your boyfriend, looking at you with eyes full of concern

"Why didn't you tell me you were sick!?" Hoseok sets the bag on your bedside table and gingerly climbs into bed next to you.

"I didn't want to worry you. Plus, you guys have that huge Halloween party going down at Big Hit tonight. I wanted you to enjoy your day."

Hoseok smiles warmly at you before pulling the comforter back to see more of your face. "Baby, you should already know that I would give up any and every party to spend my day with you. I always enjoy being with you, sickness that you neglect to tell me about, and all." He reaches over to cup your face and frowns.”You’re so clammy, Y/n.”

You shrug. “I’ve been trapped in the bathroom for most of the day. I’ve probably thrown up all my fluids.”

“When’s the last time you drank some water?”

Good question. “Uh…”

Hoseok clicks his tongue in disapproval before grabbing the bag he brought with him. "Well, before I came over, I stopped at the store for medicine. I brought candy, popcorn, and tea, but meds come first because I know you haven’t taken any.” He gives you a look. He wasn’t wrong. “I wasn't sure what symptoms you had, so I got one that covers all kinds of food poisoning symptoms. This one is for nausea, upset stomach, diarrhea, stomach cramps, bloating, and indigestion. Do you have all of these?"

"Unfortunately.”

"Good, now open up." Hoseok insists on feeding you the medicine himself, and after a lot of whining on your part, you eventually take it, complaining about how gross it is the entire time while Hoseok just laughs. Thankfully, he lets you handle the task of drinking a glass of water yourself.

"Thank you, Hobi. You don't have to stick around anymore if you-"

"Hey, I already said I’m spending my time with you. I’m here to celebrate Halloween with you. Now keep drinking your water and stay here. I'm going to go make you some tea and soup."

"But-"

"No, buts! I'm making you something to eat, and that's that." Hoseok offers you a smile and leans down to place a small kiss on your forehead before leaving the room.

You sigh and continue to sip your water in silence. He’s being his usual selfless and considerate self, but this is the main reason you hadn’t wanted him to find out. Hoseok had a habit of babying you any way he could when you were sick. It was sweet, but also tiring.

Twenty minutes or so later, Hoseok comes back into the room with a small tray. It has a steaming bowl of soup in the middle and a cup of tea on it. You also notice a few small packs of crackers around the bowl. "I know you like saltines with your soup, so I brought some too."

"And the tea?"

"Four sugars, honey, and a splash of creamer. I even put a little extra honey, so it'll ease your throat." You smile at your boyfriend as he takes a seat on the bed next to you. Your prop yourself up against your pillows and situate the tray on your lap. Before you can pick up your spoon, Hoseok has it in his hands. He brings it up to your lips after blowing on the hot food.

"Hoseok, I can feed myself, you know."

"I know, but I just want to help you." He breaks into his bright, heart-melting smile, leaving you no room to object. You let out a groan before opening your mouth and letting him feed you.

Once you’re done eating and have your tea, which he made sure to blow on to cool it down for you, he draws you a warm bath, explaining that it'll help with your stomach cramps. “Here, let help you.” He reaches to lift your shirt, but you bat his hands away.

“I got it, Hobi.”

“Well, I can wash you up. You’re probably still feeling tired.”

“No, that’s okay, babe.” 

“I can at least stay in here to make sure you’re safe. In case you get too hot and-”

“I can do it myself!” You snap at him, pushing him out of the bathroom. As flattered as you are by how much he’s willing to help, it was starting to annoy you.

When you emerge from the bathroom half an hour later, you do have to admit that you’re feeling better. Hoseok is sitting on your bed, scrolling through his phone and he jumps up when you enter. He makes a move to leave, but you stop him.

"It's okay. You can stay." You send him a smile before making your way over to your dresser. 

"Y/n, I uh, I’m sorry that I made you so mad. I promise I only want to help you. I didn’t mean to upset you."

Once you are in a fresh pair of pajamas, you crawl into bed, tugging his hand to bring him with you. Hoseok situates himself in bed and pulls you to lie against him. 

"First of all, I'm not mad," you begin. "I know you mean well. It's just the fact that you always tend to hover over me when I’m sick and do things you don't need to do. I just have a stomach bug. I’m not paralyzed or dying. I can take off my own clothes and eat my own soup. I'm grateful to have you here to take care of me, but you're worrying too much."

Hoseok sighs and begins rubbing your arm. "I'm sorry. I care about you too much to not want to dote on you, you know. I love you."

"I love you too, and thank you for your concern. I actually feel way better than I did this morning." You glance up at him, seeing that wonderful grin on his face.

"See, I knew the bath would help! Is there anything else you need or want? Something Halloween-y, perhaps?"

You think for a few seconds before lacing your fingers through his. "Watch horror movies with me?" Knowing how stressed scary movies make him, you assume he’ll suggest something else, but to your surprise, he nods, albeit visibly reluctant.

"Anything for you,” he chirps, voice a little too high pitched. Hoseok leans down to lightly kiss the top of your head before getting out of bed. “Pick whatever you want. I’m going to make some popcorn. I think you’ve earned it since you’re feeling a little better.”

You scroll through Netflix looking for a movie as you wait for him, deciding on one of your favorites, The Conjuring. When he gets back, he’s balancing a big bowl of popcorn in one hand and a few mini Milky Ways and Twix bars in the other.

After getting situated, he pulls you into his chest again, and you can hear how fast his heart is beating. 

“Hobi, are you sure this is a good idea? You know how you get with horror stuff. We can do something else.”

“Y/n, please, I’ll be fine because I’m with you.” He does his best to reassure you as he turns the lamp on the bedside table off.

An hour into the movie and he is most certainly not doing fine. He’s already screamed four times and nearly knocked over the popcorn. At some point, he’d taken your comforter and cocooned himself into it to hide in the fabric.

The movie is more than halfway through when a particular spook has Hoseok falling off the bed in shock. You fish the remote from underneath a pillow and stop the movie, exiting out of Netflix altogether. Out of all the times he’s attempted to watch horror movies with you, this is the longest he’s lasted through a movie, so you decide to give him a break today.

“Babe, what are you doing?” He asks from the mound of fluff on the floor.

“I’m changing the movie, Hobi.”

“Yeah, but-“

“Too late, the movie is already off. I appreciate that you want to spend time doing something I want, but I have other Halloween movies I like that will be kinder to you.”

Hoseok seems to recognize the opening of Hocus Pocus, springing up from the floor as the movie starts. He climbs back onto the bed to cuddle with you again.

“You know I love you, right Y/n?” His sudden question surprises you, and you look up at him only to see him staring right back at you.

“Of course. And you know I love you.” He beams at you, kissing you tenderly and pulling away before you can get lost in his lips.

“Good, because I’ll need you to hold me when Billy comes on screen. He’s entirely too creepy for a Disney movie.”  You can’t help the laugh that bubbles out as you snuggle closer to Hoseok. This year’s Halloween is turning out not to be the worst, after all, thanks to Hoseok and his love for you that you can practically feel radiating off of him, making you feel much better.

[heloflor]

Me : “I don’t think I should write characters that are explicitly neurodivergent because I don’t know that much about neurodiversity and I never take the time to know more. If I were to make a character who happens to have neurodivergent traits and call them neurodivergent, I might get it wrong and I don’t want to give a fic with bad or stereotypical representation in it, it’s unfair for those who can and wish to identify with the character. So if I write about a character that the fandom sees as neurodivergent, I will simply try to write them close to their canon personality; and if they happen to have traits that people can identify, I’ll just let other people do their own headacanons around it without touching on the topic myself.”

Also me :  “So :

- Vinnie Dakota absolutely adores animals. In the future, all animals are extinct, so in order to see animals, you either get a robot pet or you pay to have some time in a “place simulation” room and order it to simulate a field with holographic animals. Dakota learned about animals through books and often went to the simulation place or bough some stickers and other stuff from the rare places that still sold animal merch. He never got a robotic pet or never kept it for long because it’s too dull compared to a real animal, or should I say his thoughts of real animals.

- During his first mission, Dakota was ecstatic to see animals for the first time and, after the mission, spent a few hours looking at and petting the ones he could. In his house in the future, he has a room in which he displays animal-related stuff he got from his missions through time, like art or figurines or ornaments or even plushies etc. He might also sometimes take pictures of animals and put them with the souvenir he got from the same mission. He takes extra care of the stuff he has in this room and organizes it a certain way. He has the money to have a place with several rooms : as we see in “Picture Day”, once they got fired, Cavendish and Dakota had the money to go to Hawaii for an entire week and without knowing when and how they will get a new job, since Bob Block met them as they were about to leave for their vacation. Also Cavendish mentioned studying for 20 cycles, so this job doesn’t seem like a given. So being a time traveler seems to pay well.

- When he and Cavendish started dating (I headcanon them as starting to date 2 years after meeting a marrying 3 years later, so 5 years after meeting), everytime they went through a century they never or barely visited, Dakota would get a random souvenir, not always animal-related, along with a picture of either him, Cavendish or both of them. He puts these souvenirs and pictures in a different part of the room. The picture we see in their car in “Fungus Among Us” is from a mission in a place they visited before, but Dakota found the situation too funny to not take a picture.

- Every celebration (holidays, birthdays, dates important to them), Cavendish and Dakota would give each other gifts. Dakota always tries to find something related to Professor Time while Cavendish forces himself to break a few rules and go back in time without being ordered to so he can find something animal-related to Dakota. Dakota is always genuinely happy about these gifts, though he learned not to tease Cavendish about the whole “breaking the rules” situation. Those gifts are either stuff like fossils or skulls/bones or they’re stuff related to the culture of the time-period like watching tournaments in ancient Rome.

- When the two get married and buy a place together, Dakota makes sure it has a room large enough to put his growing collection. As time went by, it started to be less about animals and more about what they find during their missions, though the animal part is still very much there. Dakota refers to the room as “The memory room” while Cavendish calls it “Vinnie’s room”. Cavendish doesn’t spend that much time in it, though he absolutely loves the feeling of reminiscence the collection gives him. If he has guests at home, he tries to keep them away from the room. He knows how important it is for Dakota and doesn’t want it to be disrupted. Cavendish tried to get into Dakota’s passion but, while he found some stuff to be interesting, he’s not really into it compared to Dakota.

- After the events of the episode “We’re Going to the Zoo”, Dakota brought back tickets for his collection, along with a picture of him holding squirrels in his arms while another one has its head coming out of Dakota’s pants, near his feet. Dakota went back to the zoo several times and ended up learning what every animal was and in which section of the zoo they were.

- When the two are fired and banned, they only get like an hour to pack all their stuff. So Dakota uses some future deus ex machina technology, making their house surrounded by a barrier that only the two of them can open. That way, nobody can touch the house and, if they were to be able to go back to the future, which seems to be the case if season 2 was already thought of when “A Christmas Peril” was made, Dakota could find his collection intact, along with the rest of the house.

- Once stuck in the past, Dakota kind of gave up on doing a collection. They don’t have enough space and the realization that Cavendish could now die anytime put a lot on stress on him and most of his thoughts were on Cavendish. This stress started to dim out after the events of the second half of the season, when Dakota realized that maybe the world was done trying to get rid of Cavendish, given how the man was able to survive alone for about a month. During the first celebration they had since getting banned, Cavendish bought something animal-related as usual and it led Dakota to wish to start a collection again. Given the space and their current situation, this collection would mostly be pictures that he can keep in an album in a drawer. Cavendish would probably be the one to buy the album after realizing that Dakota started taking random pictures again.

- At some point, Cavendish learns that there’s a petting zoo in Danville and decides to use it as a birthday gift/surprise. Dakota has never been more in love with him than during the moment when he stepped out of the car and saw the place’s sign (with the exception of their wedding and honeymoon).

 …aaaannnd I just made Dakota have an hyperfixation, didn’t I ?

Though, to be honest, I really do want to write characters that are diverse, not only in terms of sexuality like I already do but also in upbringing and neurodiversity. Thing is, to write a neurodivergent character, I need to have the answer to these questions : How often do they stim ? What are the most common stims and what is and isn’t considered as such, aka what does the character does in the show that seems to be a stim ? How does the character acts/should act with others ? Which social cues do they understand ? Which ones do they not understand ? How to write a character that you can tell is neurodivergent without having to make them scream ‘I’m not neurotypical’; with instead having the only ‘confirmation’ of it being in the tags ? How to make them very excited about something without falling into the ‘autistic people are children’ stereotype ?

As long as I can’t answer these questions, I refuse to be an idiot and try to write about something I know I will mess up. And while I do have the curiosity and will to learn more, if not simply because I’m curious about neurodiversity, don’t expect me to write about it anytime soon. Right now my priority is to ‘digitalize’ all the dozen fics I wrote on paper (two of them had been in my writing pile for two years, and several for a year) while making the eventual post that comes to mind like this one.”

Edit : So a few weeks after making that post, I started to learn more about neurodiversity because being autistic makes you curious to know what kinds of behaviors are due to you not being neurotypical. And, as it had been pointed out, I’m not using the correct term here. I didn’t give Dakota a hyperfixation but a special interest. From what I understand, the difference is that hyperfixations stick to you constantly for a while (a few weeks or months), leading you to easily hyperfocus on the topic, before you suddenly start to get less invested in that interest. On the other hand, special interests can stick for months or sometimes years. And even if you’re not constantly thinking about your interest, it’s still there in a corner of your mind and you never get tired of it and keep the knowledge you accumulated to talk about it anytime.

So yeah, I gave Dakota a special interest. The reason why I thought it was a hyperfixation is because I see this term be very often associated with ADHD and a lot of people see Dakota as having ADHD. But still, my bad for mixing up the two. And the reason I didn’t edit the post sooner is because it kind of slipped out of my mind until I made a new post today that mentions this one. Sorry for that too.

[allfandomxreader]

Home for the Holidays (2)

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Summary: He could’ve easily told you about Margot on many occasions. Why didn’t he? You can’t be sure. What you do know, is his secret makes it easier to have your own. Even so, your guilt is almost unbearable. 

Warnings: Language, drinking alcohol, alluded drunkenness. 

Words: 3.9k

Part: 1/5 (probably)

A/N: Just like the reader and Luke, I don’t know how I'm going to pull this series off. This chapter seems a little quick and jumbled to me but everything is important to the plot, sorry in advance. As always, feedback is loved and appreciated :) Not my gif!

Series Masterlist // Stranger Things Masterlist

Just like Hawkins, your room remains exactly the way you left it. Your knickknacks collected a thin layer of dust while you’ve been away, the photos and books still sit in their rightful places, the clothes you always leave behind are still folded neatly in your dresser untouched. This room used to be your sanctuary, an escape from problems that were just beyond the door.

It’s always a weird feeling waking up in your childhood home, surrounded by things belonging to the person you used to be. You feel out of place, too different from the girl you used to be to claim this room as your own, like your past and present are at battle and you’re caught in the crossfire. You’d give anything for this room to feel like home again. You wish you could crawl back under the sheets, to go back in time and have the worries you had as a teen before the real world came all too quickly. Or at the very least, you just wish you had a good night’s sleep.

Exhaustion is not an unusual for you these days. In the past month, you got used to working late nights and studying until the early hours of the morning. Today should be like any other, going through the motions, learning to live with the mistakes made in nights prior. You’re not sure how to live with this one though.

You don’t remember the last time you lied to Steve, the two of you were always brutally honest with one another, so open with each other’s lives at times was almost painful. Or so you thought.

It wasn’t like Steve to keep secrets from you, quite frankly you didn’t even think that was possible anymore. Every second of downtime your day allowed was spent talking with him, whether that was through FaceTime calls or text messages. He could’ve easily told you about Margot on many occasions. Why didn’t he? You can’t be sure. What you do know, is his secret makes it easier to have your own. Even so, your guilt is almost unbearable.  

“Do we look straight enough?” Luke asks from beside you. He’s spent the majority of the morning sifting his suitcase to find something to wear.

“I don’t know,” You admit looking over your outfits for the tenth time. “Wait, uncuff your jeans.”

“Seems a little stereotypical.” He grumbles, bending over to fix his pant legs.

“Well I don’t know! This entire thing is fucked up and I really don’t know how we’re going to pull it off.” His eyebrows raise at your sudden outburst. “I’m sorry,” You say, pressing your palm to your forehead to collect your thoughts, “I know you’re trying to help, and I can’t thank you enough. But I didn’t think break would be this stressful.”

“Remember that one time at the bar? When the creepy guy wouldn’t leave you alone? Think of it like that.”

“You pretended to be my boyfriend all of five minutes. And it was to fool a stranger not my entire family and closest friends.” With a final sigh, you reach for the door handle.

“Shouldn’t we set ground rules?” He asks.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, it’s Christmas and there’s mistletoe and shit,” He shrugs, “I’m not kissing you for more than three seconds.”

“Yeah, because I totally want to make out with you in front of everyone.” You only get a glare in response. “Okay, fine. No kisses longer than three seconds. Are you okay with holding hands and hugging?”

“Sure, that’s pretty normal. I could kiss your cheek or forehead when it feels necessary too.”

“Cool. I’ll even lay my head on your shoulder if I get tired or something, but I do that anyway.”

“And how’d we start dating?” He questions, “That’s probably pretty important to know.”

“We kissed that night at the bar, right? Let’s just say that’s when we realized our feelings for each other. Keep everything as close to the truth as possible so this doesn’t get even more out of hand. Deal?” You stretch your hand out for him to shake.

“Deal.”

Reluctantly, the two of you head into the kitchen. Dustin’s already seated at the table; his breakfast barely touched. Your mother hums to herself, fixing the last of the bacon on the stove.

“Morning, love birds!” She sings as the two of you take your seats. You almost cringe, you watch Luke gulp before sending a smile her way. It seemed only right that you told your mother and Dustin that Luke was more than just your roommate after telling Steve. Now, she won’t shut up about it, you wish you never said anything at all. “Did you sleep well?” She asks, setting the rest of the food onto the table.

“Always do.” You smile, beginning to fix your plate. You didn’t, between Luke’s tossing and turning and the ball of anxiety waiting to unravel at any given moment, it’s surprising you got an hour of sleep at all. When you look up, your mother is already grinning at you. “What?”

“I was wondering how long it’d take before you both fell in love. I’m just so happy the two of you finally made it official.” Luke chokes on his orange juice beside you, you can’t help but stare at her with your mouth agape. “Oh god, have we not said the ‘L’ word yet?”

“Anyways, Dustin!” You cheer, desperate to have the conversation not centered around you. “Will we be seeing Suzie at all over break?”

“She lives in Utah, Y/N,” He says with an eyeroll, “In what world would I be seeing her.”

“I don’t know,” You shrug, “Everyone else is with their boyfriend or girlfriend, I thought maybe you would be too.”

“The only person who brought someone home is you.” Dustin says, poking at his food with his fork, maybe you hit a nerve.

“That’s not true, Steve brought Margot.” Dustin’s head snaps up, ignoring anything that held his attention before.

“Who’s Margot?”

“Steve’s girlfriend apparently. You didn’t know either?” You ask sharing a glance with Luke.

“That son of a bitch—” He cringes before your mother can even ridicule him. “I knew he had a fling. I didn’t know they made it official. Or that he’d bring her home.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better, I knew jack shit about this girl.” Your mother throws her hands into the air with a huff at her children’s bad manners. You and Dustin stifle a laugh while she excuses herself from the table to get ready for work. “We’re about to meet Robin and do some last minute Christmas shopping before tonight, wanna come with?”

“No thanks, I’m helping Erica fix her laptop today.” Dustin says finishing his last few bites of food.

“You’re still coming to Steve’s tonight though, right?”

“No shit, it’s tradition.” He says taking his plate to the sink. You can’t help but smile. Even after all these years, Christmas traditions with your family of misfit friends hasn’t changed.

An hour or so later, you find yourself pulling into the Starcourt parking lot. Two years ago, you hated this place, it was always crowded and too loud. It didn’t help that you worked for shit pay at the Gap, all your time seemed to be spent at this place. Sure, it was new and exciting when it first opened, but the glamor quickly wore off after about three shifts.

You suppose it wasn’t all bad, though. Steve would always bring you a scoop of your favorite ice cream on his break or you’d hang out in a booth with him and Robin on yours. You never stopped making fun of their uniforms, Steve’s contact photo is still him in that stupid sailor hat.  

“You’re telling me a town this size has a mall this big?” Luke asks trailing towards the entrance behind you.

“Yeah, apparently in the 80s people thought that Russians infiltrated Hawkins, but the conspiracy was never proven.” You laugh. He doesn’t get another word in before you spot Robin, the two of you already sprinting towards each other’s arms. As always, you greet each other with hugs and squeals earning concerned glances from fellow shoppers.

“It’s been too long!” Robin smiles, pulling away from the embrace.

“It gets harder every time we say goodbye.” You agree before quickly introducing Luke and your best friend.

The three of you shop for way too long and spend far too much money. Each of you have a handful of bags and aching feet by the time you find a quiet booth in Scoops, a tradition after every shopping excursion.

“The outfits look even worse these days.” You comment, setting down your purchases onto the tile by your feet.

“I’m sure mine and Steve’s belong to someone else now, they rarely ever buy new ones.” She says taking the seat across from you. Your nose wrinkles in disgust, but the dingy yellow shirts that you swear were once white only confirm her statement. “Hey, while we have some time alone, can we talk about your boyfriend for a sec?”

When you look at her, the normal smirk isn’t present on her features, the glint of mischief is absent from her eyes. Your stomach churns, you’re tempted to breakdown right here, to come clean and tell her everything’s a lie. It’s hard enough lying to one best friend, you hate lying to them both.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“And please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m only saying this because I love you.” You shift uncomfortably in the metal chair. Robin never outwardly says she loves you, not unless she’s drunk. You glance over to Luke, he’s too preoccupied leaning on the counter talking to a boy with floppy hair to even notice. “Do you think there’s any way he could be—”

“Gay? I know.” You laugh, or try to that is. A part of you feels relieved, to have at least one other person know the secret you’ve been carrying for the past twenty-four hours, to have another person on your side. At the same time, you’re terrified. Of course, Robin knows all about your crippling feelings for Steve, she’s known almost since the day you met. She’s had her fair share of ‘Steve Talk’ at sleepovers or on phone calls. You don’t know what you’ll do if she’s angry you lied to her about it, that she had to figure it out for herself.

“Oh, thank god,” She sighs, shoulders slouching as relief spreads through them, “I really thought you were blinding dating him and had no idea.” She pauses abruptly, cocking her head to the side, “Is this because of Steve?”

“Why would—”

“Alright, this one’s for you,” Luke interrupts, setting Robin’s order in front of her. “And this one’s for you.” He presses a quick kiss to your cheek as he sits down. Robin purses her lips at the sight, trying her hardest not to laugh.

“We’ve been outted.” You say, digging your spoon into an already melting ice cream cup.

“Fuck, already?”

“Is it that obvious?” You ask, although Robin’s already shaking her head.

“Everyone in this town is oblivious. They wouldn’t know a gay person if one was standing in front of them,” She gestures towards herself, “Clearly.”

You try to laugh, but you can’t even find the energy to muster a smile. On day one of this charade, it’s already crashing around you. If you couldn’t lie to Robin, to make it believable enough to her, how could you to Steve? The person that knows you better than anyone, who can spot one of your lies from a mile away. It’s starting to look more impossible and more unbearable with each passing second.

“Hey, I’m not going to tell anyone.” She reaches across the table, patting your hand in efforts to put your mind at ease.

“Silver Cat?” You ask, cocking a brow her way.

“Well I assumed so.” She rolls her eyes, waving her hand in dismissal.

“Wait, Silver Cat? What the fuck is that?” Luke looks between the two of you, waiting for someone to fill him in.

“It’s our code. Basically, if someone calls Silver Cat, nobody else in the party can know. No matter what, it stays just between us.” Robin explains.

“We rarely use it. It’s for our most top secrets. Like when I told her about my crush on Steve, I called Silver Cat.” Luke nods along understanding, “It’s only used between us, Dustin and Steve. We used to have a whole saying but that’s is the only thing that stuck.” The three of you begin to eat your ice cream in silence, each of your thoughts elsewhere.

“I’m sorry, I have to ask,” You blurt, “Why did you think this had to do with Steve?” Not that any of this made sense, this whole thing is a shit show from start to finish. But maybe that part makes the least sense of all.

“I assumed you met Margot.” Truthfully, you don’t know what answer you were expecting, you could’ve come up with hundreds of responses, but that wouldn’t have made the list.  

“Am I the only one that didn’t know this girl existed?” You can’t tell whether you’re more sad or angry. It’s like everyone is a part of one huge joke, all watching and laughing from the outside.

“Well, I don’t think Nancy and Johnathon know.” She tries to make it lighthearted, maybe even make you laugh. It doesn’t work.

“Yeah, that makes me feel better.” You roll your eyes, pushing away the ice cream that remains, your appetite disappearing all at once. Across from you, Robin shifts in her seat. She focuses too intently on the table in front of her.

“He called Silver Cat too.” She admits. You want to ask more, to try your best to prod more information out of her. But that’s not how the code works, each of you made that very clear almost two years ago. The only thing you can do, is drop the subject entirely. “All I can say is,” She continues, even though it’s against the rules and you both know it. “She wasn’t supposed to come home for Christmas.”

You spend the rest of the day in a daze, your mind clouded with matters far beyond faking a relationship. You know you shouldn’t, nobody can be mad when someone uses the code, you were the one who came up with that rule. You always thought Steve would somehow end up finding out about your feelings and get mad at everyone else in the party. It wouldn’t be their fault for keeping your secret, so you thought of a loophole. You never would’ve thought it’d be used against you. And even though you parted ways with Robin hours ago, you still hear her words in your head. The conversation has been on repeat, like a song you can’t stop hearing no matter what you try.

“You okay?” Luke nudges you as you make your way up the steps to Mr. and Mrs. Harrington’s front door.

“I will be.” You shrug. You can’t bring yourself to move towards the doorbell or even knock.  

“We don’t have to do this tonight, we can say I got sick or something.” He offers.

“Even if you were sick, I’d still come. The four of us take traditions very seriously.”

“Wow, thank god we’re not real. You’d be a terrible girlfriend.” You offer a quiet laugh. With a final deep breath, you interlock fingers with Luke’s. He gives you a reassuring squeeze as you knock.

It doesn’t take long for the door to open. You half expect it to be Robin, for her to be there to soften the blow. She’d whisper a joke in your ear to ease your nerves or immediately hand you some sort of liquor. You don’t know how you’ll survive the night without one.

Part of you thought it’d be Steve, that would only make since. He’d smile and you’d try not to swoon. He’d give you a welcoming hug and say he missed you despite seeing you the day before. You didn’t, however, think it’d be Margot.

“Hello!” She sings, full of energy. She catches you off guard, pulling the two of you in a hug. It doesn’t last long, but even in the quick exchange you can smell her perfume, vanilla and something citrusy. You can even smell the trace of Steve, the same cologne he’s worn since high school. It makes your stomach recoil.

You don’t have enough time to dwell on the thought, she’s already pulling you inside talking a mile a minute, you can hardly keep up with her words as she drags you to the living room. “I’m so excited for tonight. I love looking Christmas lights. When we were on our way here, I saw all of them on the houses. They weren’t lit of course, but I think they’ll be pretty. Oh, we also made eggnog, it’s spiked but there’s more brandy on the counter if you like it stronger.” You glance at Robin, sitting on the sofa already nursing her drink. She only smiles with a light shake of her head.

“Oh, yum,” You say once you come to a stop.

“Sorry, I’m a little excited. I’m so glad you guys are here, I can’t wait to get to know you both.” She offers a bashful smile that you can’t help but return.

It’s here you realize you have nothing against her. It’s not her fault she’s dating the man you’re in love with, she had no way of knowing that. It’s also not her fault he didn’t tell you. Maybe, your anger has been spent on the wrong person, blinded by your feelings for Steve.

“We can’t wait either.” You grin, gesturing between yourself and Luke.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” She rushes to a bag discarded on the floor, rummaging through it for a moment before pulling out clothing. “We got everyone ugly Christmas sweaters for the gift exchange,” She says handing them to you and Luke, “We didn’t know your size, Luke, so if it’s too big, blame me.”

“You guys didn’t have to do that,” You say as Steve makes his entrance down the stairs. “Thank you.” You’re not sure what washes over you as you pull her into a hug. Maybe it was to make her feel welcome. Maybe it was for Steve, to show your support to their relationship or maybe make him feel guilty about keeping it a secret. Maybe it was to keep up the charade, to make it more believable.

“Well, glad to see everyone’s getting along,” Steve smiles, pulling you into his arms. “Missed you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You laugh, giving him two single pats on the back.

You let everyone mingle while you excuse yourself to the kitchen, heading straight for the liquor. You make two drinks for you and Luke, adding a generous amount of brandy into your cup. At this point, you don’t even care if it tastes good, all you know is you can’t be completely sober this evening.

“Yikes, rough day?” Steve asks when he enters, leaning against the counter. You only shrug, bringing the cup to your lips. “There’s no way that tastes good.” His nose scrunches in disgust as he watches you drink.

“I’ve had worse.” He was right though, it tastes disgusting, but it’ll do the trick. “Dustin can’t make it, he called earlier saying Erica’s laptop was taking longer than he expected.”

“That little shit,” Steve shakes his head, “I knew he’d bail.”

“I don’t blame him, he’s always around couples between Mike and Lucas.” This morning, the thought of Dustin not being there would’ve stung, but you don’t really want to be here either.

Everything is starting to feel more like a burden rather than tradition. With Margot and Luke thrown into the mix, it’s not as meaningful as it was two years ago. “Plus, now we can all fit comfortably in a car.”

It’s colder outside than what you expected. You stand alone in the driveway as everyone else slowly puts on their coats inside. You can’t help but stare at the passenger seat, remembering all the moments you spent sitting in that very spot.

They were the ones you held closest to your heart. The ones where Steve would sing offkey to his playlists and you’d air guitar every solo. The ones where you’d sit in parking lots and talk for hours about anything and everything because there wasn’t anything else to do in this town. Or last Christmas, when the two of you screamed the lyrics to every Christmas song with Dustin and Robin begging for you to shut up from the back. The four of you ate decorated cookies and drank hot chocolate and rated your favorite houses. Just last year feels like a lifetime ago, you wish more than anything you could go back.

Everyone makes their way out eventually, their noses already turning red from the cold, each of them are desperate to get into the warmth of Steve’s car. Margot makes her way to the passenger seat, unknowingly and out of habit you assume. You watch as Steve looks between the two of you, about to protest. You shake your head, reluctantly taking the middle seat in the back.

The drive is awkward to say the least. Without Dustin’s blabbering, nobody says much of anything. It’s not like last year, the music isn’t loud, there’s no singing, nobody gets excited when you pass a lit house. Steve glances at you through the rearview. Sorry. He mouths, you only shrug, purposely avoiding his gaze and the way that his hand wraps around Margot’s in her lap. Even the brandy wasn’t making this night any more bearable.

“So, Margot,” You begin, unable to take the silence any longer. “What are you studying?”

“I’m studying early childhood education!” She grins, “I want to be a kindergarten teacher. I think children are so… imaginative, I love seeing how they think about things and I want to help them grow as people. Or try to at least.”

“I think you’d be perfect for the job,” You answer truthfully, giving her a reassuring smile. “Are you still studying criminal justice, Steve?” His brows furrow, cocking his head slightly.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He takes his eyes off the road, locking them with yours.

“Just asking a question, it’s not like you tell me anything anymore.” You didn’t mean to say it, you also didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh. You aren’t trying to hurt his feelings or get under his skin, it just slipped out. Robin chokes beside you, sinking into her seat as if it’d make her disappear.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks. You don’t answer, crossing your arms and pointedly looking out the window. You can still feel his eyes on you, but he doesn’t push any further. Nobody speaks for the rest of the drive.

You aren’t sure how you made it home, you must’ve fallen asleep in the back of the car. The alcohol caught up to you, only making your head throb as your body is lowered onto your familiar sheets. “Steve?” You call but he doesn’t respond. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that back in the car.” You whisper as blankets are pulled up to your chin. “I love you.”

“I’m sure he loves you too.” You don’t need to open your eyes to know it’s Luke. Your body wilts, you wish you could cry but the tears don’t come. You know drunken confessions never end up well, you’re sure it’s better this way. But you wish Steve could’ve heard, it would’ve been easier that way.

Forever Tags: @superfrankie111 // @rueinn // @lemonadeorange73 // @simplechicwithacrazedheart // @youshutthefuckupville // @captainpeggy40 // @alexdamereysmith // @llatpdnmm // @dummiesshort // @quaksonhehe​

Steve Tags: @empathetic-vibrations // @loulouloueh​

Series Tags: @daddystevee​