#i showed my sister the gay and not proud video because i wanted her to see how beautiful his shirt was

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

The Forgotten Gays of Western Animation... apparently.

Tw Lily says the F-slur despite her having a problem with Q-slur and talks about incest... again.

Now I'm not from Canada, nor was I old enough to have seen these shows that she's talking about, meaning I have no choice but to assume she's telling the truth about these shows.

To get this out of the way. Lily, throughout the whole video, was also making jabs at people who like lore based shows how they're the ones who are ruining shows because she thinks people on Twitter have any power over what a creator does on the show I mean if that was the case then JK Rowling would actually shut up about her transphobic thoughts. To put it simply, people on Twitter with their egos don't have much or any power over a show their not a part of, not even the people who are in charge of drawing the frames. now a creator can see multiple people asking about the lore of the world they worked so hard on. Lore might not be important to Lily, but anyone who's worked on making a completely new world wants to talk about and show the lore of the world. To get a bit personal, one of my siblings is writing a book, and there are days they will talk about the lore for hours because they're proud of it.

Now. Lily is very much wrong about moving the goal post for LGBTQ rep. Moving the goal post for LGBTQ characters means we are highering our expectations for what's good rep and what's not. To keep that post in the same place would be doing more damage than good.

Personally, I think (if we have to) the goal post should stick where the owl house is as that's one of the few shows that doesn't really have straight ships, hunter x willow and amity's parents are the only straight cannon relationships (and that's straight in quotes BTW) and I only think that because I haven't seen any of the nickelodeon shows with LGBTQ rep.

Something lily really needs to understand is that CEOs and the men in suits have a huge say in what goes into shows, so most shows aimed at children that want LGBTQ rep have to fight to have it Steven universe and the owl house all had to fight to get the rep they wanted. The reason you didn't see much of ruby and sapphire is because they are always fused together in perfect harmony. Every permafustion in SU were in a healthy relationship and only unfused was when they need to play the part their made for or fighting she also needs to remember that SU had the FIRST same-sex wedding in a kid show. The owl house was already set to be canceled, so who cares if they have a main gay couple it's not like they were gonna see them for long anyway. To me, it seems that if the character isn't kissing, holding hands, or cuddling, then that's not good enough that the LGBTQ rep has to be the most perfect relationship and never show what a real relationship can be like i.e. sometimes unhealthy, one-sided, and unrequited.

Lily then goes through a really long rant about how we shouldn’t hold She-ra to such a high platform because of the incest and how abusive the relationship was... completely forgetting that catra was the scapegoat while adora was the golden child. Both were in an abusive relationship with their perennial figures, with catra getting the brunt of it. Catra and adora are friends to enemies to lovers. Just because you wrote your incest story (scars, pokemadhouse) as some sort of coffee shop, AU, you think that you have any footing about complaining about catradora? Lily can't talk smack about adora and catra being technical sister when all of her fanfiction and even the books she reads aren't technical incest. It is incest. For all the mud slinging Lily does to She-ra, TLOK, and SU, you'd think the creators killed her family.

Also, I haven't heard of anyone saying that those slice of life relaxing shows that have the same rep as "not counting." In fact, people who like those types of shows have praised and really liked it, there's no one saying that shows with rep aren't valid just because there slow pace I've seen that's not valid because it's not good enough rep as in the LGBTQ character dies, doesn't get into a relationship, never get screen time, or how in Steven universe pearls love with rose is one sided and therefore pearl is an incel and "doesn’t count" funny enough all the complaints about rep not being good enough is from Lily herself. Steven universe doesn't count because you don't see enough, TLOK doesn't count because korra and asami didn't kiss as they walked into the spirit world, she-ra doesn't count because catradora is "fetishist towards abuse" and the list goes on.

Despite how much Lily praises Brace face for having a good gay character that wasn't the butt of the joke, he's still a stereotype, 6teen had one episode with a gay character and is never seen again, Lloyd in space had one Non binary character that in the end chose their gender and the main characters forcing gender norms on them. All of those in Lily's own words and past videos those shows aren't good enough.

No one has forgotten about the Canadian shows with LGBTQ characters their just not talked about, which is a shame. If I had seen these shows when I was struggling with my identity, it might have helped me deal with it better. As time goes on and millennials who grew up with the shows that said "its okay to be different and that just because you have no one now doesn't mean you will be alone forever." Begin to make their art. What was good then just isn't good now. Sure, those shows were ahead of their time, but now we are getting shows with better rep that don't need to use slurs or stereotypes.

[winderlylandchime]

I came on your blog to send you a few updates about my brother because the man is a gift that keeps on giving and then I saw that you tagged one of the posts about wanting an update about my brother. Gotta love it when the planets align that way haha. I apologize for how long this is but it has been an interesting week in my brothers life so I tried my best to keep it short and failed as you can see lol.

First of all I had to break the news to him about Randy retiring from acting to become a therapist. And it went just as how you’d imagine it to go if you imagine a grown man with a tendency to be childish and dramatic reacting to it. So many things happened so I gotta tell you the highlights: We were on facetime and I told him, he screamed (an actual AHHHH while holding a hand to his chest) and then went ‘of fucking course! The second I join the fucking party, he decides to fucking retire. And I’m supposed to NOT take it personal?!’. And while he was going on about it he was also doing something but i didn’t see what and all I saw was him grabbing scissors in a really stupid way (they were pointed towards him) so I went ‘ummmm’ and he goes ‘what? Oh come on, not even I am that fucking dramatic. I’m making myself a *said so that the last letter made a pop type of sound* crop top.’ And then he enthusiastically showed me the shirt that had A LOT of writing on it and he cut it so that only the first word is on it which is “HOLE”…. He is very proud of it btw, plans to wear it to his PT next week.. i swear he lives his life like a reality show mixed with a sitcom.

Anyway, he can’t believe Randy is actually going to be a therapist. Like at all. And then he goes ‘that’s so fucking weird though. Blondie a therapist. There’s no way people won’t recognize him..*long pause* do you think Gale also has a normal job now? Imagine he’s like a professor or some shit since he is nowhere to be found (me: how do you know that?)….i may have googled him..seriously is he even alive still?’ (ngl now i keep wondering if Gale also said fuck it and got a normal job) and then what followed was him gasping and then looking up at the ceiling and going ‘dear god.. i know i talk a lot of shit about you but if you could PLEASE make some gay dude go viral with a tweet or a dumb tiktok video about how Blondie is his therapist, that would be so fucking dope. Thanks bye’ and now I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of some gen z kid making a tiktok about it..

The good thing about this week is that he is finally covid free so i was talking to a non-feverish person which tbh not much difference, the bad thing is the dude somehow managed to get laryngitis so he’s losing his voice at a speed of light and while he was going on and on about Randy, he kept losing his voice more and more..which obviously made things for me, his little sister, a lot more fun. He was completely raspy yesterday and today he kinda still has a voice but not really. And no, none of this has prevented him from not talking about Randy retiring. It’s been over 24 hours.. Mom was annoyed with him because he will lose his voice talking about a middle aged white gay man, so he is balancing it by also talking about Gale aka a middle aged white straight man.

He also got really angry because he discovered that QAF online doesn’t have the right soundtrack (he already knew that but forgot). He was so upset about that that he was going on about it for at least 5 minutes while sounding like a dying goat. He then tried to bribe me to send him my dvds..So now his mission for 2024 is to somehow/somewhere find the dvds. Mom is hoping he doesn’t succeed because she knows full well what would happen aka he will force her to watch it. However our uncle is betraying her by helping him because the 69 year old gay dude likes drama. Mom thinks the fact that she lives 20 minutes away will stop my brother from making her watch it.. She clearly underestimates him.

And then probably my second favorite part because I got to witness it all through texts and voice memos and facetimes is that while he had covid, he had a lot of free time so one day he said fuck it and started going through everything qaf related online. So here’s a bit of a rundown of his 20 years late opinions: He is (still) angry at Hal, he’s angry at one of the writers (i forgot his name but it’s the writer who talked shit about Randy publicly), he has mixed feelings about Dan and Ron just because he’s not very fond of old men but he is also sure as fuck that they had issues with Randy, he found out that Michelle has a child with Bryan Singer and now he doesn’t like her because “i have morals.” He again remembered Gale was Pentecostal and that threw him in for a spiral at 3 am and what followed was a feverish rant about cults (which made no sense but that’s okay). He found old interviews where Randy was not so fond of qaf and that made him have some feelings but it ended up with him announcing a “war” against writers. And then he circled back to his anger at Hal because he decided that he was clearly jealous of Gale/Randy’s attention. He has range ngl. This is also where he decided Gale is a missing person because ‘seriously how the fuck can nobody post anything about him? Make him go to some charity event or some shit, I miss my man.’

Then on the day that I told him Randy is retiring which was like 2(?) days ago, he called me because he listened to the Poly episode of Randy’s podcast again (this lead to me later telling him since he didn’t see the new ep since this was the only one he had saved) anyway he called me to ask ME about if I* think he could be polyamorous (having siblings that youre close with is such a weird fucking thing). Then he decided I was not the right person to ask so he called our aunt who actually is polyamorous while he was on facetime with me and I got to witness the beauty that made me and my neighbor laugh way too hard (i wish you could hear/see him but just imagine a toddler covered in chocolate trying to make a point with an attitude how he totally didn’t eat the chocolate) because our aunt hit him with ‘i mean…stranger things have happened but also (his name), you broke up with your ex girlfriend because she wouldn’t share her purse with you’ He argued it with this and I quote ‘okay FIRST of all how DARE you bring that up, you know I’m still sensitive about that, 2nd the purse matched my outfit so it was rude she didn’t share. 3rd, I shared my two purses with her whenever she asked because sharing is caring, see that proves my point, 4th the purse was in a box for donations so once again: RUDE on her behalf and 5th and probably most important part: she cheated on me with her cousin’s girlfriend 2 days before so I think the least I deserved was to be allowed to borrow a fucking purse.’ Reader, I need you to understand that this happened like 10 years ago when he was like 25. Till this day he is more upset about the purse part than the cheating part. He was upset about that for a week until she texted him she thinks she’s gay and then he went ‘oh..i mean you couldve just fucking said so..btw did you throw that purse away?’ Our whole family still makes fun of that (in a nice way) bc he really didnt care about anything except the purse but also because he hit on a girl at bar once and she told him she’s gay and he pulled up instagram and showed her our accs and went ‘i got a sister or an ex, whose number would you prefer’ so he’s definitely still upset over the purse. Btw the jury is still out on him being able to share a whole human.

And also today which is why I’m sending you this now, I woke up to these next texts: ‘what if i change my therapist and I go to Randy? How fucked up would that be?’ ‘Imagine I end up in his office and just start talking to him about qaf’ ‘wait hold up, imagine if I didn’t know it’s him! And i show up in my Justin shirt and go on this long speech about this show and Brian and Blondie…at what point do you think he’d stop me?’ ‘Okay so I texted (his therapists name) and after he was done being mad at me for asking him dumb questions under the impression of emergency late at night, his only words were ‘in my humble professional opinion, (his name), it would be BEYOND fucked up’ but I think he’s exaggerating, what do you think?’ ‘So what kind of therapist do you think he’ll be? Like one on one ‘you got depression, heres pills’ type or couples or what?’ ‘Also do you think he’ll be a cool chill therapist or will he be one of those that look like they escaped their Mormon family and have a stick up their ass?’ ‘Do you think my man is also doing some random work now? Like mechanic or something?’ ‘My man as in my man Gale btw’ ‘no but fr imagine you go to therapy and the dude who you watched fuck on tv is your therapist… at what point do you tell him that you know what his booty looks like?’ ‘His choice in clients are limited.. either kids with no social media or like the fucking Amish’ So I would say he is handing the Randy retirement/therapist news about the same as all of us… or worse.. I actually can’t decide.

Dear sweet anon! I put out into the universe that I wanted updates from you and your brother and the universe delivered.

First of all, we are all devastated about Randy retiring from acting/public life. But also, as a therapist, I do support this journey for him. I do think it will be hard but he will have supervisors along the way to help him navigate the fact that there is footage out there of his butt on a Showtime show. Either that or he can only see clients who are toxic levels of heterosexual.

Speaking of your brother's idea to covertly become his patient, may I direct you to this anon I received? Here THE FANDOM KNOWS YOUR BROTHER AND PREDICTED HE WOULD WANT TO INFILTRATE RANDY'S THERAPY PRACTICE.

The soundtrack online is a travesty and is also homophobic. Would your uncle help me find the DVDs too? I have S2 but not the rest. (I don't even have a DVD or Blu Ray player but I also bought the entire David Tennant Doctor Who collection on Blu Ray (well minus 14 I guess) so at this point I'm just collecting stuff. (I do have a link to a google drive with all the episodes but you or your brother would have to reach out to me by DM here or on discord (thataj.) because I can't post it publicly (it's not actually mine lol).

I think it is very polyamorous to break up with someone for not sharing. Also, I am now curious about his collection of purses. Isn't sharing the name of the game in polyamory?

I think all of his opinions about everyone are so valid. We do get one (1) proof of life from Gale on social media per calendar year. Usually on someone else's account. I know there was a post of him in 2023 so we need to look out for 2024. I do NOT know what he is doing to earn a living these days. It is very likely he has a job that is not in entertainment or at least not on stage or on screen. Maybe entertainment adjacent?

Thank you so much for this update. I love that this continues to cause drama and discussion in your family. I love that your brother's therapist is fully involved. And I love that you continue to share your family with us.

[sassymajesty]

Hey Nina 😊 I saw you responded to my ask (thanks btw) and also saw a few other asks about #stupidwife so I thought I'd answer:

Sadly, I'm not Brazillian but I am a PROUD 😤✊🏽 Indian/South Asian. The series actually reminds me a lot of the Bollywood soaps (the drama, the music, the dramatic camera angles)

There is (99% sure) a season 2 coming - There are a lot of bts videos on TikTok showing them filming new scenes

It is actually a thing that the actress playing Valentina looks like Angelina Jolie (apparently within their fandom they refer to her as the Brazillian Angelina) so you were spot on with that

I think your theories were correct with the miscarriage because of the blood but I'm really curious to know your theory after the last Christmas episode, regarding the pregnancy - Her sister and I wanna say brother-in-law both seemed concerned she shouldn't lie to Valentina; I thought at first maybe Luiza didn't want to say anything until the pregnancy was confirmed but she still had a sullen look after she told Valentina.

hello it took me almost a month to watch all the three christmas episode but, honestly that last one brought me more questions than answers. first of all, i want to punch valentina's mom. "after finding out she was gay, i kept treating her as i always did" and i could hear the "almost like she was my daughter still" what a VILE woman

but i was snooping the comments and people were talking about how maybe luiza didn't really want to go through another pregnancy (considering everything she said when duda was complaining about her own pregnancy), maybe she had other plans with her career or was fine with having just leo. but with leo wanting a sibling, valentina's issues with her mom, everything around her made her feel a bit too much pressure to have another baby. so she tried again (without valentina's knowledge, apparently) and she got pregnant for her wife and their son, but not because she truly wanted to, you know? and it all makes so much sense. ugh, it hurt to see that last hug.

maybe the guilt that comes with such a complicated situation was a trigger for her memory loss. her whole body was so relieved that she lost the baby, but it'd be too much on her psychologically so her brain just went "shut it down, boys"

[thestangossip]

Teacher anon here! I wrote everything half asleep over pizza after Saturday parent semester meetings and after rereading what I wrote I realized I rambled a tad without circling back to my full thought and want to finish it while I’m not snoozing in pepperoni grease.

As a teacher, I’m flattered when my students want to jokingly call me mom or want hugs or comfort when things are rough. I’m absolutely okay with that as long as it’s clear that I’m not their replacement parent and any hug has to be with other people around and not full frontal body. I’m fulfilled as a person to not have my own kids with how much love I have for my students, I’d do anything for them. And they know this. Some kids photoshopped my face onto Rambo after the Uvalde shooting when I told them I’d take down an army on my own before I let anything happen to them.

But at the end of the day, I’m not their legal guardian. I’m an adult in power regardless of my gender who has to draw lines that they may not understand or know about now but will appreciate when they’re older. I’ve happily held a middle school male student who cried hard when his sister passed away unexpectedly and his parents gave me the okay. I’ve happily let kids eat lunch with me in my classroom with the door wide open and let neighboring teachers know, and I’m known as the fun openly gay teacher who wears witty t-shirts with fitted jeans and colorful blazers and costume jewelry who will always show up for all of their recitals and what not at school. I brag that I’m the proud mama bear of 332 kids in the 10+ years I’ve been doing this, and I mean it with how I keep their gifts and still hang up their drawings and letters on my wall far after they’ve graduated. Because I get how wonderful it is to bond with someone who looks up to you knowing you’re a safe place for them be themselves while being loved and accepted unconditionally.

Which brings me to Pedro. Again, I’m not a fan or a Stan and what I know is from this blog and glancing at other tumblrs when I’m feeling nosey. He seems like a genuinely good but greatly insecure man who appears to form really tight but unhealthy and fleeting relationships with people in his life regardless of age or gender. For that reason, his fans need to hold him to a greater standard with younger costars regardless of their legality. Would they be okay with this if it were Leo DiCaprio that Bella was doing this to? No. Thank you to that anon for bringing that video up cause it proved my point further that this bond Bella has seems to be with just Pedro and that’s a major red flag regardless if she’s a legal adult now. He knew her at 17. If any of my students held me and rubbed up against me like that as students or recent graduates I’d be fired. I’d have to go to meetings and a school appointed therapist to determine if I’m fit to be around kids and I could have my licenses revoked. And no, I’m not being overly dramatic. Being a teacher accused of inappropriate behaviors has major consequences that can ruin your career for life. And yes, even if it’s a former student because it makes the school wonder how long that was going on for and with who else.

Pedro and older actors of any gender need to step back and ask if they behaved like this at any other job, how would this come off? What would the consequences be? What can they do to form a healthy relationship while being responsible for their own accountability with a young ward who has mental illnesses and anxieties? Forcing this cute narrative because fans are projecting their image of fatherhood onto Pedro is unhealthy and is what leads to older people in Hollywood taking advantage of anxiety riddled young stars with codependency issues. If Bella is THAT anxious, she needs a support animal and therapist to give her the tools needed to form and enforce healthy boundaries with men like Pedro who don’t know how to draw those lines themselves. Pedro can trust himself all he wants, but that doesn’t mean we do as viewers and he needs to make clear boundaries on media platforms because yes he does owe us that as a responsible adult with a former child costar just like any adult working with kids and young adults. I know I’d never be inappropriate with a student, but I still keep my doors open and my boundaries clear to guardians and fellow teachers that I’m trustworthy and responsible rather than gaslight them for thinking otherwise. I’ll continue to side eye him and anyone else who tries to disagree, because Pedro is not an exception to any rule regardless of parasocial ideas of who he is when none of us know him or what he’s capable of behind closed doors and I really hope Bella can find the appropriate help she needs to maintain a friendship with Pedro or anyone as a legal adult without relying on them as a cure for her anxieties.

You bring up so many points.

[gnj9ata]

Life check point - I can't seem to go to sleep so I decided to redownload Tumblr and do a life check point of my life up to this point for preservation sake I guess. I had a thought of doing that with little videos and posting them to my YouTube channel. It's funny because I read old Tumblr messages on here and try to figure out my state of mind at that time to no avail.

So what is going on in life...

After all of these years, I am doing bumpers for the MCA again or should I call it The Chat Attack now. It's not mines anymore. It stop being that 6 years ago. He did ask me to come back on the show. I declined. I know me and my head. I would just try to recreate something that isn't there anymore. Same reason I keep watching the old bumpers and shows. I tell myself it's for inspiration or getting new ideas for the new bumpers, but it's me reliving the "glory" days. When I had a group of people listening to me. When I had power or control over something bigger than myself. If I am being honest, it feels good knowing I was "Top dog" at one point in time. That I got my idol at one point Korey Coleman to say "Attack the chat" once on a video, even though if I had the opportunity to talk to him about that, he probably wouldn't remember. It was something out of my head...that became real. That's powerful to me and I really want to do it again.

Ms gay is gone. Died from stomach cancer. Her mom had to stay with us for 4 months while Ms Gaye's sister was buying a house. She just moved out a month ago. Interesting experience. It took for her to die for me to know her name was first name was Carol.

Miranda is still missing...I miss her a lot. I told trey. I would have married her. And that is still true I feel. When I get the resources, I am going to find you.

And dan

Dan is still missing....

Find meech as well.

Jett seems happy with Nick. I'm happy for them both. They both deserve that. Had rough lives. It's nice they can finally get something out of it. Not sure if I will ever get married or what not and do that whole children thing. Only time will tell I guess. I could be reading this ten years from now and have all of these things. We will see.

I am kind of just kinda "meh" on the whole thing at the moment. Dating isn't even my main focus.

I work for pottery barn at the moment. Retail support agent. I answer emails all day. Easy ass job. I legit could just sit there for hours and occasionally do work. Sometimes I read a book or just watch YouTube videos. I am know as the "hype man" in the teams room. If I am being honest, it gives me similar feels to what I had with the MCA. People actually look for me and wonder where I am at. It feels nice to feel wanted or when people like to just be in your presence. But is it real? Just like the love I had with the MCA? Does it have an expiration date?

Because I know I will be curious later...

The book is Sophia's World: A history on philosophy. Good stuff so far. Recommend by ruthless. Yeah....still talking to him. He doesn't respect me like he use too. Doing thumbnails for his YouTube or at least I think I am. I haven't gotten work to do on it in a few weeks. We will see if that last.

I do thumbnails for Josh's The Afternoon Tune. Still going strong. Gave me free range on the thumbnails. I'm proud of him. Although everytime I look at the YouTube page, I see MCA DNA. Still friends with the group....we legit been through think and thin together so I think at this point, our relationship as friends...hell as family at this point is soild. I really hope they all respect me, but aren't these the same thoughts I had last time? Before I burned everything to the ground so what do I know? We are all meeting up for the first time as a group in March. Meeting up in New York. I hope everything goes well.

Regardless I know for a fact I have Fernando and Soberna in my corner. I still talk to them. The only folks from staples at this point. Although the Halloween party, I did get to see Angela, josh and Jermaine. That was fucking cool. I am really happy for Jermaine and his husband. Had no idea the dude was gay, but happy for him regardless.

Devon is still Devon.... maybe worst...or maybe our relationship is just really bad. It's almost like resentment now. I don't even like talking to him now. It's like I have already mourned the lost of my brother and he is still here. I am not even sure how to approach this situation at all. Recently had a conversation with mom about how I am frustrated that he gets to give up, but I can't. Even if I had the opportunity to do so, my mind wouldn't let me. I know I would regret all that wasted time. I have stuff I want to do with my life. And I can't stop until those are accomplished. And even then....lol

Anything else?

I am very annoyed in myself that I have forgotten alot of stuff I use to know. After effects, driving, pass books or let's plays I have watched. What was the last let's play I watched?

Can't remember. (Could probably check the YouTube history if I cared enough)

Still working with my therapist on mindpath. Although I am thinking of just cutting it off. I think I May have reached the point of what she can help with. I think this is one of those roads I probably have to finish alone. I have changed my sessions from every two weeks to every three weeks.

I still care about what my mom, my friends, my coworkers.....other people think about me. I still care and haven't learned my lesson yet. What is it going to take for me to finally stop caring? What is it going to take? The improvement junkie stuff is starting to get annoying to. I can't even relax on my off day and using time to think about how to get better at after effects or improve my memory or get better at mental math. I am going through timeline order of the marvel movies at the moment which is alot more fun than I thought. Trying to get back into gaming more with my steam deck. I love that thing.

It's 6 am and I have yet to get any sleep. And I am suppose to be driving to see Fernando and Soberna today. I need sleep....

[stefanyd]

I posted 15,028 times in 2022

156 posts created (1%)

14,872 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@alcairsei

@beautiful-welsh-vowels

@beeftony

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@rythyme

I tagged 3,049 of my posts in 2022

#kinnporsche - 522 posts

#vegaspete - 297 posts

#thai bl - 204 posts

#kinnporsche the series - 178 posts

#not me the series - 147 posts

#not me - 109 posts

#bad buddy - 92 posts

#queue me up mr. scott - 73 posts

#danyok - 72 posts

#not me series - 70 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i take comfort in the fact that we know who and how they are with each other so the conversation that must have followed warms me to my core

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

My boy Kon Diao really went "im gonna take full advantage of this moment" and im so proud of him, you go you, you funky little black belt cutie, get your coward, guilt ridden man.

174 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

#4

So i was having a lovely conversation with @rythyme about the current rapid evolution of the BL industry, specially in Thailand - looking at the impact KinnPorsche is having, everywhere, at the moment - and it led us to a path where i was able to articulate something i’ve been thinking about or a while in regards to BL as a genre and how it relates to (and is) LGBTQ+ media.

BL might have its roots as a genre made for fangirls as fanservice, but the reality of it is, it is ALSO queer media and as the world at large embraces LGBTQ+ identities(i use the term embrace loosely here, we are all aware of the hurdles we face still), the lines have blurred into what people consider just BL - as fangirl fanservice - and LGBTQ+ content.

That does not mean that there isn't just fanservice for the sake of it out there, not every piece of media has to be nuanced and whatnot (we all like chicken nuggets every once in a while people, don’t lie, five course meals are not always where its at), but it does mean that there is more media that lands in the blended space. I believe BL media is and should be qualified under LGBTQ+ media. Bad buddy is a great example. It is 100 percent a BL, ticks all the boxes, but it is also 100 percent a coming of age, nuanced love story between two boys that tugs at your heartstrings and makes you want to go through the joy and anxieties of falling in love. That has a lot to do with the Director of the show, P’Aof, a very talented director, and an out gay man. Watching his reaction/review videos to the show, along with his peers who are also queer men, specially for the final episode, has been one of the best experiences of my life. It was hard to put into words, but hearing what these older queer/gay men had to say about this show, their lives, their experiences, the differences between their youth and today. It was mind blowing, specially because they are from a whole different culture than mine, and as my older sister who is in their age range said: “you’re watching/learning queer history.” It was both touching and a great learning experience.

BL is a genre that can be multiple things at once (like any other), but what lends itself to the blending I mentioned before is that we are not only seeing the industry as a whole growing with its fanbase, but also the fact that more LGBTQ+ voices are getting involved in the making and distribution of it.

Rythyme made a point in our conversation, “BL as a genre despite its shortcomings has always been, at its core, both queer and transgressive and it's hard to draw those lines between what's made for the ‘BL fangirl’ vs the ‘queer person’ bc those boundaries are super blurred” And i agree with that statement, because many of those BL fangirls the genre was aimed at turned out to be queer people later in life. They mentioned listening to a talk by an older Japanese lesbian who was an OG BL fan from the start of it all, and who discussed how BL helped her discover her own queerness, which was a lightbulb moment for Rythyme as they listened to it.

And that’s the thing. BL culture in the east, and slash culture in the west, they both started labeled as “fanservice for the fangirls”, and their similarities don’t end there, they are both movements that have led a lot of queer people in a journey of self-discovery. My sister @teland has almost 15 years+ on me, and as she put it:

I can't count the number of queer people of all genders and ages and everything else who I've spoken to over the past 20-odd years about slash, bl, and other intersections of queerness, fantasy, and *hope* who have said to me:

"This is where I found myself." "This is how I learned who I was." "This is how I wrote myself into my own body." "This is how I learned how to draw the boundaries of my self." And so on, and so forth.

There is nothing more queer than taking identity/self/sexuality/gender and remaking it in our own images for the sake of learning ourselves.

So yeah. i am in no way making light of, or ignoring, the fact that the fetishizing that has gone on since its inception isn't a thing (i am not a gay man, i can't speak for their struggles or issues with said fetishizing), but i feel it disingenuous to deny the fact that it, and the people it was/is aimed for have evolved.

There's surely someone out there better qualified, and with more energy than me, to address the other, more problematic side of this whole thing, where it lacks and where it fails, and I wish them all the luck. I'm genuinely just. So happy to see the growth and evolution of it as a whole. It brings me untold joy, and when there are just so many things in the world that aim to take the joy away from our lives, I want to embrace all the things that give it to me.

Now give me more GL stuff lol.

208 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

#3

my favorite thing is that Kim is setting himself up for some next level drama because it hasn't occurred to him yet, and im absolutely sure of this, that Chey will inevitably learn the truth and fucking ghost him and/or worse, lose the sheen in his eyes when he looks at Kim. my boy gonna have to grovel.

226 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

#2

MY MAN LEARNED HOW TO MAKE A SPECIFIC PORRIDGE FROM A STORE DOWN THE CORNER FROM HIS CHILDHOOD HOME BECAUSE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE LIKED IT SO MUCH GROWING UP BUT HE CAN'T TELL HIM "HEY I LOVE YOU AND I SUPPORT ANY PATH YOU CHOOSE IN LIFE."

The ULTIMATE battle of love languages. A man whose love language is acts of service against a man who needs words of affirmation.

fucking amazing. comedy gold.

445 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I want a fic now where when every time Porsche gets mad at Kinn for whatever reason he calls him "Khun Kinn" and every time it happens everyone in a 15 foot area just freezes for a millisecond, side-eyes them, and then try to take a step back like "oh i don't get paid enough to be in the middle of this bs, look away NameHere, look away and mind your business" and every one pretends to not know that it means Kinn is in Deep Shit and every one pretends not to notice that *Kinn* knows he's in Deep Shit.

720 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wtfcookiejar]

Just a dumb one shot don’t mind me {one night a year)

There is one night of the year, no one calls you or ever asks you to do anything July 25. That was the rule. Everyone in family video, the grocery store and the pet adoption place where you worked.

Then only one allowed is your brother Dustin Henderson. Everyone can see the his face the day he goes to town to do business for her. It been years since things had chilled out in Hawkins. He finished college early and invested in apple which was smart.

Steve and Robin Now ran a foster home for gay youth in Hawkins and Nancy and Jonathan are both teachers at Hawkins high and Hopper and Joyce run the police force. Eddie lives in a bus now touring with corroded coffin. So that first night home he doesn’t care about all. The first thing he wants to do is scare the crap out of Henderson the oldest.

So he sneaks in the back porch and hides in her bedroom amoung her giant pile of plushies on the floor. He blends in well being able to see everything without looking humanly seen, he thought the the mask n helmet sold it though.He doesn’t know the date. He didn’t realize he was about to witness something private something that would change his life forever.

Your room flew open as Dustin Henderson hung a sting of lights across the ceiling in her room where he could just see him touching little already pre-hung hooks. He can see him setting a few girly items on the bed which seemed odd. But then he sees Henderson light a few candles and run a hot bath leaving a little little table with care products on it.

It wasn’t long before you came in. You were already cold and your nose was red. You held a coffee in hand and you shuffled forward quietly stripping on the way to the bathroom. Eddie had seen a lot of naked girls but seeing you naked was different it made him ancy and he wanted to move but he couldn't. He was supposed to be blending in with all the other stuffed animals.

He's silent as he watches her sink into the bath. He can hear his band playing somewhere and he feels proud that she listens to them. It's been five years since he's been home.

Then Dustin knocks and asks what video she wants to be put in and He sees Eddie and all the color leaves his face. Dustin shoots over to the pile of animals and leans down whispering," You can not be HERE today!" It's a whispered shout and Eddie's confused. "What do you mean I just got home... Why can't I visit my favorite girl and her Brother."

Then Dustin because he's clearly upset says," Mind if I shut the bathroom door for a minute sis?" She says a quiet no and then Dustin Henderson the kid who couldn't hurt a fly grabs Eddie by his collar and drug him out of the room.

They stood toe to toe in the hallway and then Dustin punched him square in the gut.

"What the hell was that for?" Eddie groans

" For making me buy her a stuffed animal for all your anniversaries and her birthdays and every little thing you missed. Because you were busy being a rock star." Dustin hugs his fist and then continued pulling Eddie down the stairs to the kitchen.

"What are you talking about?"

"LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW... REALLY EDDIE. My God, you are so self-entitled since the band blew up. You completely forgot dating my sister?"

It kinda hit Eddie like a glass of beer going down wrong. ," Fuck she said she had something important to tell me the day I left... I never showed up because the Studio wanted us in like THEN. Then they flew us..." Eddie wipes a hand down his face suddenly. He can see Dustin starting to cry.

"Buddy... How bad did I mess up?"

" She was pregnant Eddie... She carried the baby to term and she got one day with him. ONE DAY. Then he died. Today is the 4th year he's been gone. Every day she was pregnant she listened to Corroded Coffin and she talked to him. She got one Day Eddie to be with him." Dustin has full tears running down his face," Nothing was worse than watching her cry and hold him, or so I thought... you were on the Today show Eddie and they asked you about someone special in your life and You told them there wasn't anyone special. Her heart broke."

Eddie stood there shaking... How had he forgotten something so important as his own girlfriend? He was rushing out the door hearing Dustin call out his name. He had been buried under toys Dustin had bought and wrapped saying they were from him. He remembered something coming to him on the week after this day it was in her handwriting he dug through the countless papers he'd scribbled lyrics on until he found a purple envelope he opened it hastily his fingers shaking.

Dear Eds;

I'm sorry this letter isn't in better spirits...I wish I could say your son was nursing happily and we were waiting for you to come home... But Junior didn't make it. He died July 25th at 6am... His lungs filled with fluid and his little heart gave out... He was a very quiet baby, he had a bustle of untamed hair that reminded me of you and the same eyes as yours. Nancy was really nice to take pictures of us the day he was born. I know you don't really care how I look, but please forgive my messy hair and sweaty appearance. He was stuborn, I was in labor for 21 hours. But he was still perfect in my eyes. Everybody got to hold him Even Wayne (I have that picture for you too).

Please keep these photos safe as I only ever had one copy made...

Always Yours

Y/N Henderson

P.s. Congratulations on the new record deal and making it big. I am very proud.

There were about 75 photos most of them of a little boy with dark eyes swaddled In what looked to be a Corroded Coffin blanket made by hand. He did have a swatch of hair that seemed to stick up everywhere. He got to see Wayne smiling holding him and patting his hair in a couple photos. Even Steve and Robin were there to see the little guy. They both wore dumb shirts that said " WE WANNA HOLD HIM." Joyce, Hopper, El, even Mike, Lucas, Max, and Will even showed up to hold him after welcoming him into the new world.

Everyone but Eddie had been there. Then he stopped when he got to a photo of just Y/N and his son. Her hair is tied into two big messy braids and she's smiling as she holds their son and coos. It's the most beautiful picture he's ever seen of her. She looks exhausted and like she needs a hug. In the next series of photos, everything is shot in color and it makes his mouth dry. She's standing next to his casket a white with red inlay and fixing his tiny baby suit and gelling his hair into a mohawk. Before there's a bunch of people. It's just her Dustin and Wayne at the casket. Wayne puts these adorable little shoes on him that look just like a pair Eddie wore as a kid. Then like that the Two other men sit her down and she sits holding his blanket folding and folding it. You can see it as all the pictures pass. Everyone comes and takes seats. No one will look at her

Instead theirs photos of the casket closing and being lowered into a grave and her standing weeping. Eddie looks at the photo of her weeping holding his blanket standing there unmoving. That's when the tears spill over. He got the photo he realizes because he never got to hold or smell him. He was too busy with girls and music and making enough money to buy Uncle Wayne a house he didn't even think of his girlfriend anymore. He didn't bother to call her and she'd been suffering in years of silence. Because she lost their son. He wasn't prepared for someone to sit next to him.

So when someone sat on his bed he looked up confused to find Y/N standing there in a t-shirt and sweatpants hair braided one knee on his bed.

"Can I look?" She asked her voice a pained whisper," Please I haven't seen little Eddy in years."

"You named him Eddy?" Eddie whispered tears streaming down his face in torrents now.

"I named him after his dad." Her hands shook as she took a look at the pictures from the beginning. Then her eyes filled with tears when she saw a picture of him swaddled in his blanket.

"I spent months making sure the dice and wings were perfect. I remember wrapping him in it. He cooed at me and smiled. I had his initials on it and everything. " she pointed to one of the wings that tapered off into lettering and Eddie looked closer," I used to practice with Dustin and Steve on baby dolls to see who could change and swaddle faster... I even had Dustin learn to listen for cries at night in case I was too sleepy..... I was ready to be a mommy Eddie...." She's holding the picture of her and her son crying.

"You were the best mommy..." Eddie answered and he cried because he knew he'd truly fucked up.

"Eddie what's wrong?" She asked and patted his head soothingly.

"HOW are you not ANGRY at me right now?" He was gasping for air trying to get through the idea that he ruined something much more precious than girlfriend and boyfriend.

"Because... When you didn't come to pick me up I knew." She sniffed," I knew that day at the clinic I wasn't special like your music was. You weren't going to stay loyal when you had thousands of girls just throwing their panties at you. You wanted to be A Rock Star it was your Dream. So I let go, I decided I'd love you from afar and I'd love your little boy and tell him how awesome his dad was... and when you came home...."

"When I came home what?" Eddie asked and she just shook her head.

" I started working three jobs after to pay for all the expenses.... The bills at the hospital. The funeral. Today I take off from two of my jobs and I sit in the bathtub and listen to the album I used to play for him. Then I watch videos of when we were Teens. After I bring him a bunch of flowers and tell him about the puppies that are for sale. How I wish I could have gotten him a puppy for his birthday. What your doing. " She doesn't answer Eddie's question instead she mumbles about what she does on this day.

"What did you tell him today?" Eddie is curious.

" I told him you were home. That you made a new record deal and would probably move to California. That I was sorry for not being able to get him a puppy, that I was still trying to make things work. That maybe you'd visit..." She sniffled and stood, "I can take you if you want. Do you have a car?"

"Yeah actually... Do you not?"

"I bike usually. I don't think you wanna be seen on a bike. I'll go get the flowers and stuff from my house you get the car ready."

She left her steps steady and slow and Eddie sat there noticing she left all the pictures behind. Eddie goes into the house holding the pictures to his chest and starts looking around for the keys he doesn't see Wayne sitting in the kitchen where he placed the photos.

"She said she sent them to you...." He murmured and then he threw the keys at Eddie upset. Eddie had never seen Uncle Wayne upset with him, not like this. He wouldn't even look at Eddie.

"Uncle Wayne...."

"Every day she goes to see him. She tells him how GREAT a father you are. HOW good your music is. She tells him he would be the apple of your eye. And do you know what people do to her? They throw eggs,rocks, and sticks, and spray-paint his grave. Steal his flowers and still at 3am when she gets home from the night shift at Family video. She bikes there and cleans it up... and tells him she'll try and get him a puppy or a picture of you that's new. But today is always the worst. Today you decide to come home. GO take care of your boy for once quit making her do the work your supposed to do Eddie."

Eddie is stunned into silence, who would do that to a child's grave? He wondered and then he got outside knowing Wayne wouldn't be happy until he saw the full results of his actions. The Truck started and he saw her with a huge bouquet of flowers and a bunch of cleaning supplies and his stomach felt weak. The ride is silent aside from her directions and the sounds the truck makes to protest Eddie's speed.

When the Truck stops she climbs out ungracefully. Eddie took all the cleaning supplies and let her lead with the bouquet. They walked until she reached a knee-high headstone in the shape of a guitar. Eddie gasped. It was covered in spray paint and silly string. Masking out names and dates

"Sorry Baby... Mommy had to do some extra stuff today but Daddy's here to see you. You guys can talk while I go get water from the hose to clean up. " She murmured tears falling down her face and walking away with the bucket.

Eddie can't help it he sits in front of the Guitar and tried pulling the silly string aside. He touched the cool lettering letting his fingers feel out the name Munson at the end. The birthdate and then July 25th.

He could read the spray paint. FAKER. WHORE. DEMON BABY. All of it is written in different colors. Then he starts thinking about kids on bikes passing by and her being in the cemetery late at night. How many nights had she ridden home just to get up and see her son belittled?

Eddie was mad. He wasn't mad at her though he was mad at the town of Hawkins and he wasn't willing to let her deal with this anymore. So when she hurried back with goo be gone and a bucket filled with soapy water Eddie took it without a word and started with a cloth of goo be gone to wipe gently at his son's headstone.

"Eddie... I c-

"Y/n Just talk to him. I'll clean you've been cleaning up more than I have."

"I don't know what to say though, Eddie... Because you're here."

Eddie stops remembering how Angry Uncle Wayne was when he walked into the house. He sighs and starts talking softly his voice filled with sorrow," I'm a sorry little guy. I didn't want us to meet like this... Your mommy said I was wonderful. Here's the truth. I missed the best thing in my life for a little fame and attention. Your mommy got one day... I'm jealous. honestly..." Eddie scrubs harder making sure all the stuff and gunk comes off," she also got all those months of feeling you grow, she made you a blanket that I'm jealous of, She comes to see you every day and she even wanted to get you a puppy...I'd have gotten you two if I was here.... we could have played airplane and finger painted...I'd have made e- " then Eddie stops because he hears her crying.

She is sitting rocking back and forth and she grabs for the sponge desperately Eddie lets her as she starts talking," Mommy so sorry..Mommy wanted to be your mommy so bad. She tried so hard for you. I got you the nicest crib a-"

"Y/N You were a good Mommy." Eddie cries as he pulls her to him and holds her looking at the grave, "You did nothing wrong. He got the best Mommy. It was me who was shitty okay..."

"You were supposed to come home...." She wailed and Eddie realized the shame she must feel," YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME HOME AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO RAISE HIM AND GET HIM A PUPPY. WE WERE SUPPO-" She's in full hysterics punching Eddie anywhere she can reach him. He's sitting there tears streaming down his cheeks knowing he can't fix this. So he sits there his back against his son's grave holding her as she cries and cries and screams about the things her little boy never got to do and how he was supposed to come home and they were supposed to be a family. Anytime she hits him he takes it.

***

Several hours later she is asleep against his chest and he picks her up and puts her in the truck. He finishes cleaning the grave and carefully places the flowers before kissing the knee-tall guitar. He drives her home where Dustin is waiting pacing back and forth while Steve and Nancy keep him company.

"Thank-Oh FUCK. NANCY STEVE."

Eddie feels the fist before he sees Steve. But he doesn't drop the woman in his arms instead he heads for the stairs carrying her carefully to her room where he sets her in bed and covers her up. That's when he notices the bear on the bed. It's unmistakable it's his son's blanket made into one plush toy. He holds it for a second then tucks it into her arms and tucks her into the bed.

Everyone is still downstairs and he takes a seat on the couch quietly and looks at his hands and sobs. Everyone is in a state of shock except Eddie. Everyone has a right to be angry.

"Go ahead, Dustin...Steve. Nancy. Take a crack at me."

"Eddie, why are you crying?" Dustin's asks and Steve's taking a seat next to him.

"She Told me I was supposed to come home... I was supposed to be here. I should have been here. To help her take care of him. I was supposed to be here. But I was touring and fucking bitches and making money and doing drugs and feeling famous. I didn't think once of her. NOT ONE SINGLE TIME. I didn't think she needed me. She thinks she's a bad mom and that she didn't provide but it's me who was awful. She told him wonderful things about me that he didn't deserve to hear because I'm shit. "

"He's gonna lose it when he has to sleep in Eddy's room." Steve remarks poking the place where his eye is bruised.

"I desrve it. Besides I knew Wayne wasn't letting me off easy..."

"Usually Y/N sleeps there. Tonight but you brought her home. So Things are already Fucked. She didn't tell you she was waiting for you to come back for her did she?" Dustin crosses his arms and the room grows still. More tears come to Eddie's eyes.

"No..."

"Then you don't know about it and didn't hear it anywhere." Nancy is firm, all three have their eyes pinned on Eddie because they know if he crushes her any more than he already has then they will lose her completely.

Eddie nods still crying and heads home to the house with Uncle Wayne. The porch light is on. His studio is still up but the room that used to be his is a nursery. Everything is black red and white. The colors of his band. He can see Eddy written In big baby blocks on the wall and Then he can see Uncle Wayne awake in the rocker.

"I got worried. She usually comes in by 1. What happened to your face?" Wayne said pointing at his own eye.

" I got hit with reality."

" You know for the first month... She was producing milk... She would sit and pump in this chair and watch you perform and just cry. Then she would put the bottles in my cooler and take them to the local animal shelter, it saved three batches of puppies. Till she dried up. Got mastitis really bad. Then she started watching home movies. I loved that, I'd sit with her sometimes and ask why she recorded most of them. She'd always said so your son could see how cool you were and how much you loved all your friends... I wish Son, you had loved her enough to see how much she gave up for you. Not just eddy but other things too. " Then Uncle Wayne shuffled out of the room slower than Eddie remembered him doing in years past.

Eddie took a seat and realized there was a hand-knitted blanket of rainbow colors he looked at the empty crib with the onesie still laid out in case she got to bring her baby home. But she never did. So it lay there empty with a little mobile filled with Dungeons and Dragons monsters that were child-sized and hand created and Eddie cried. He cried because she had done all this for a tiny human that was half Eddie. He couldn't fathom loving someone that much but he did and he hadn't even held or known him. All he had left was this room and her, and he wasn't allowed to go near her.

***

The next morning Y/N brought her bucket and sponge and went by her son's grave. Instead of more silly string, she finds a row of kids standing around his grave.

"Nah it's not him he's gotta be in California by now. " Was a harsh whsiper.

"WOULD YOU ALL JUST GO AWAY? His mom is coming and she probably expects a mess. So just go home today. Leave her be." Eddie's deep voice is unsettling.

"Why should we? I mean think of how awful the actual Eddie Munson must feel. This Lady out of nowhere says she had his baby and the next day it's dead."

The Coffee Bistra who spits in her drink every morning speaks," she probably killed it to cover up who his actual father was. I've been spitting in her coffee for years."

"You spit in her coffee?" Eddie was a little alarmed

"When she comes in and gets groceries I put the eggs at the bottom of the bag so they break and the bag breaks." A kid fessed up.

"I don't let her eat at my establishment." Another voice

Then Eddie can see her with her little bouquet of carnations and daisies and all the people looking at him. He starts walking toward another grave and he starts doing what she used to call the Eddie Rockstar to walk where he put his hands in his pockets and started asking if anyone wanted to see the tour bus, but he can't do anything for the woman crying as she bends down and cleans up just some stamped on flowers. There's no spray paint. There's no silly string. Because Eddie cleaned it all up before she had got there. She didn't even notice him take the bucket with him

[kiyokoxd]

headcanons about the ada members and maybe the pm members about their sexualities?? Idk why I am curious, maybe also about what kind of person they will like, i am sorry if it's too much

Armed Detective Agency

Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Yosano

Atsushi Nakajima

• I definitely headcanon him as a pansexual, I don’t think he cares about your gender. 

• He needs someone to accept him the way he is and love him, he’s really nervous and insecure and needs reassurance so pls don’t be mad and love him pls he's precious help. he’s gonna be an amazing, might be over-protective sometimes but that’s mainly because he doesn't want to lose you <3

• Mainly prefers he/him but I don’t think he cares much about his gender?? I am not sure, I guess he’s cis??

Osamu Dazai

• Bisexual, that’s it. He loves all type of women as he says, men... Well the fact he said he “isn’t interested in men” is a lie, yep it is. Have you seen Chuuya with him? Ha, gay. I can say he might try not be attracted to men, his closeted ass might have some negative thoughts about it but ye, bisexual it is. 

• He just wants someone who gives him a reason to live tbh in my opinion, he’s touch starved even though won’t admit, just like the other bsd bois. He will appreciate you a lot and might lie to you slightly in the starting, but if you show him you’re trustworthy and love him no matter what, he would love you no matter what too.

• I headcanon him as Non-Binary, using he/they pronouns. This is because of the intro he gave to Atsushi and I think others too, he often refers to himself as the Japanese gender-neutral pronoun.

- I realised that pronoun thingy from this video (it’s embed); https://youtu.be/b_Gm2WcTCKY?t=313 

Kunikida Doppo

• Well, pretty sure he’s straight according to his so called “ideals”, but, I would say this, he doesn’t mind appreciating other men if they look good-looking. I mainly still think that he doesn’t care much about the gender but if his ideals are saying, women it is??? I mean I guess he can like nb people too, I am confused ngl

• Well most of his choices are in his ideals, from what I guess (I researched about this slightly) - he wants an independent woman who isn’t afraid and will do whatever to get what they want. Good at organising things and appreciates him for who he is.

• Cis?? I mean he’s fine with they/them but would rather prefer he/him.

Ranpo

• I guess he cares slightly about gender but for him, it’s personality > looks soooo, I guess I would headcanon him as Polysexual or Omnisexual. He’s slightly conscious but still won’t care and will love you the way you are so yeah.

• He wants someone sharing (well.. with sweets at least), someone who I  proud of him, funny and doesn’t get offended too quickly since he can be cocky. Who would definitely love it if they were smart, he would love to solve cases with them or just hang out.

• He/Him pronouns I guess, he’s cis.

Akiko Yosano

• Okay she gives me bisexual vibes for sure, HIGH BI VIBES. Queen shit. She mainly doesn’t mind what gender you are and will love you for who you are but prefers the label Bisexual - mainly being attracted to a female or male, but won’t mind non-binary, genderfluid people, etc.

• Well she would be amused if they’re not scared by her, that curiosity might take a huge turn if they enjoy shopping, her interested in learning more about the things Yosano likes, kind and supportive. Someone who can brighten up her day after a long tiring day.

• She/Her pronouns, cis for sure 

Port Mafia

Chuuya, Akutagawa, Higuchi

Chuuya Nakahara

• Haha okay he’s gay... Or maybe bisexual, just to please the ladies imma say that but I headcanon him as gay... Gay, yeah. Gay for Dazai.

• He’s very insecure of his weight and height so he needs someone who loves him just the way he is, compliments and gifts are his love language... So yes pls do that. Enjoy w i n e with him and I guess someone who’s serious yet cheerful too.

• He/Him.. Cis, yep.

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

• Another closeted bisexual, jeez Dazai really be leaving his impressions on people. Mainly I feel like he’s a biromantic demisexual. Thanks to the torture and shit he went through, he needs time to open up, wayyy lot of time. He’s fine with anyone as long as they accept him and shit. pretty sure his personality sucks (Higuchi as an example) but yeahhhh, depends really.

• He needs someone who praises him - should be real, someone who accepts him for the monster he has become, he’s touch starved but won’t show any vulnerability so they NEED to have patience with him, make him realise things.

• He/Him or He/They I guess?? Demiboy probs.

[ Bonus ; His sister be gay so hi ]

Ichiyo Higuchi

• Well, bisexual... She obviously likes Aku but I ship her with Gin so 🏃‍♀️

• Someone who enjoys food?? I am not sure but yeah. She kinda likes invading your privacy and can be overprotective but it can be adorable, she wants someone to care for her and accept her. If she’s there for you, you should be there for her too. Would love it if you try and style her hair, no matter how funny it may come out to be.

• She/Her for sure.

[since-it-must-be-so]

Choujin X: Chapter 1

So I'm really excited to read more of Sui Ishida's newest manga, and I'm arriving just in time for the front seats! I don't want to let this pass without writing down my thoughts on the first chapter and possibly look at it in the future as the story progresses. You can read it here:

Having said that, please note there will be spoilers ahead!

Tomato Girl

The chapter starts with this cute little girl with that native(?) farmer-like hat, who supposedly grows big fruits (it's huge in Japan, look it up!). I think she will also be a main character since she's the first person we see. From this point I'll call her Tomato Girl. She is obviously from a rural area and is a farmer. We see her motivation is money (and that big dog... which, I think we will see in the future lol). She also wants to marry a "handsome goldilocks hubbie", lol. Wonder if this means she's going to be a love interest of the other cast? She also wants to have 9 kids. Naki and Miza, is that you?! Lol. So here, we have a girl with lofty aspirations! We shall see if any of this will happen or if it will change or if she's lying!

Also an observation - Tomato Girl is also close with her granddad, since she said she's going to the contest in lieu of her granddad (whose back was hurt). She obviously has this strong personality, standing up to the creepy bad guy, who was going to hit the old lady.

Bad Guy

The Bad Guy (since this guy doesn't have a name yet) is obviously a terrorist-for-hire. Also seems to be obsessed with beauty and elegance. I would guess his power lies in blowing things up?

I think, though, that Tomato Girl is a choujin herself, considering she didn't immediately get blown away. Plus, Bad Guy was on fire, and so was she. So, it doesn't necessarily mean Tomato Girl is already dead. She also seems to be reaching out to the Bad Guy as that scene ends.

It's later revealed that despite the plane crash, there were 200 survivors. Hmmmmmmm. Maybe they were turned into choujins?Only the hull was burned but the frame wasn't.

Tokio Kurohara and Azuma Higashi

Yes, the MC! He's notices the plane catching fire. Then, for some reason, Tokio's teacher (Ms. Bazonkas) has a weird voluptuous design. BUT, I think there's something afoot there. She might actually also be a choujin. Possibly a mentor role for Tokio? She seems to be very knowledgeable.

Anyway, going back to Tokio. He's introduced as a sixteen-year-old high school sophomore from Tsuru High. Like any high school kid, he finds studying math to be useless. We're also shown that lives in a district which has destroyed buildings. Possibly dystopian future?

We next find a girl getting harassed by a Mohawk guy and his 2 honchos. Tokio calls for someone, turns out to be Azuma. I just thought it's funny how he called for Azuma, he sounds like a police officer. Haha. But right after, Azuma is introduced, flying from a building.. a very dramatic, heroic entrance. He kinda looks like a hybrid of Haise and Armin from AOT for me. Haha. He's so cute and tiny but he's strong and is apparently the town hero. He breaks the arm of the thug, which Tokio thinks is going too far.

The girl seems to be a pretty girl, and I think she will play a role later on. She's a lot older than them, since she said she's going to an interview. She will possibly a love interest or a villain, but I think more of the latter. I just read CSM so I'm wary of pretty girls lol. Anyway, I think there's something there to link her with Azuma, considering, Azuma introduces both Azuma and Tokio but she only seems to thank or acknowledge Azuma. Tokio even says "don't mention it" even if the girl didn't even thank him, lol.

Azuma and Tokio talk about the plane crash, and it's revealed that choujins seem to abuse their power, and that the attack is kinda normal. We look at their hometown which is really wrecked. Buildings are dilapitated in an abnormal manner -- one building looks like it was done in with a circular force... They live in Yamato Prefecture which is described as an ordinary, self-governed prefecture with some areas partially destroyed. Wonder what self-governed means, but my guess is that it's kinda like a state and the national government is different altogether.

Roly-Poly

Well I never really thought of pill bugs or rolly pollies until I read this. Azuma talks about how roly polies roll around in dry areas and when they find a damp rock, they hide under it. He questions if the roly polies like damp places. And Azuma wonders if choujins are anything like roly-polies. Tokio is confused, so am I. I'm not going to make solid convictions what he means by it, but I think... what Azuma is driving at is that, roly polies and choujins DON'T like damp places. I don't know, I have no reason for this, it's just a guess. We'll see what Azuma means eventually. Haha.

It also appears that choujins are generally bad guys, since Azuma wonders why they don't use their power for good. Maybe something about being a choujin corrupts? Just a guess based on the succeeding events.

They end their conversation with Azuma thinking if he can help with the plane crash. Tokio comments, "seems noble of you" and Azuma says, "it's just a habit". Wonder if Tokio finds Azuma pretentious or if he's genuinely impressed. Azuma's answer is also quite concerning, "just a habit", a question arises if he's sincere in helping in the first place.

The Mohawk Guy

So this guy is supposed to be a funny, evil villain, now bent on exacting revenge from Azuma. Then, a guy (possibly gay guy because he is wearing a lipstick?) with a briefcase offers him an injection.

Tokio's Family

So Tokio has a bigger sister and a dad who seems to be very quiet. Not sure if that's their dad though, it wasn't clear. It's possible they don't have parents anymore and that guy is just an associate. Anyway, it appears that the sister pays Tokio's tuition and she's the breadwinner.

Tokio and his sister talk about Azuma. Azuma is apparently very smart, very athletic (proficient in judo and karate), girls love him, and that his dad is a big shot in the police. The sister questions why Tokio is so proud, and Tokio funnily admits that it's because he feels popular because Azuma is popular. A leech!

Vulture

I just finished re-reading Tokyo Ghoul and :re, and I was blown away by Ishida's art and story. To say I love Kaneki is an understatement. I think I'm going to love Tokio too! I also want to discuss the cover.

So it appears that the cover is the Tokio with an image of a vulture. Tokio is naked and it feels like the vulture is seducing him. From here, I get the vibe that Tokio might be corrupted by the power. "It's something of an affliction" is a dead giveaway. It feels like becoming a choujin or superhuman also corrupts, in a way?

Also since, there seems to be a commentary on the negative view on vultures being scavengers or "steals prey". (Though TBH I always thought vultures wait around for the predator to finish eating and then it eats the scraps??)

On the other hand, Azuma, Tokio's best friend who's mighty strong and brave (almost to a fault), is viewed as a lion by his peers. Also, an uncanny observation is the when Tokio cries about while sitting on the floor, above him is a hyena. Hyenas are known to prey on the carcasses of lions' prey.

It's almost uncanny when Tokio himself says, "I can be a lion too". But Azuma makes Tokio feel better by telling him that buzzards can fly higher than any bird -- telling Tokio to focus on the strength

But even if Tokio admires Azuma, Tokio thinks of telling Azuma when he's going too far. I think this comes from a place of concern. But maybe secretly he's also jealous?

Tokio also even tells Azuma that maybe they should hold hands so Tokio can be more like Azuma, implying that Tokio wants to be like Azuma.

Praying Mantis

Just before Flexi Choujin attacks, Tokio mentions that he bought an insect guidebook and was about to say a factoid about praying mantis near water. I wonder what Tokio was about to say? A search on the internet about praying mantis and water shows this disgusting video of a parasite exiting the praying mantis leaving the mantis to die. Ew. Let's see if this is the factoid Tokio was thinking of. If so, who's the mantis and who's the parasite? Is it Azuma and Tokio, respectively? Hmm. Also, love the insect symbolism. Throwback to Kaneki's centipede!

Flexi Choujin Attack (Johnny Kiyoshi Takeyama)

Mohawk Guy, now a choujin, is a flexi monster who's now more resistant to hits. He attacks Azuma indiscriminately with his new powers. He also kinda goes crazy... His subordinates fear his super violent side, begging him to go back to his "kinda naughty mama boy self", but he ends up snapping their heads off.

For some reason 2 injections fly up into the air?! Maybe someone tossed it. Because as Tokio brought Azuma to the water and brought him back out, he sees the 2 injections. Azuma wants to use it on himself.

Tokio hesitates to have Azuma use it but Azuma insists. Tokio remembers how Azuma saved him from bullies as a kid, and they agreed that Tokio will help Azuma beat the bad guys... Tokio gets the other injection and points to himself. Azuma says Tokio can't but Tokio insists because he feels that it's the only way to stay friends with Azuma. They also promise each other that they will have no regrets over this. This is kinda alarming for me!! Let's see what it will mean in the future.

But instead of both of them transforming into a powerful choujin, only Tokio transforms into one. He looks like a vulture, very beast-like. Looks even like Kaneki's Centipede! I think the other injection might have resulted in a bad/weak power, or maybe it's empty, or maybe Tokio didn't inject Azuma? But I doubt the last one. Anyway, Tokio's choujin look is amazing!

Can't help but feel this scene is related to the praying mantis thing... Maybe my hunch is correct? The parasite exits the mantis when near water, which is why Tokio manages to muster up some courage on his own?

We'll see!! I'm really excited to see this develop. It will be the first manga I will be able to see from the start to finish!

[theworldsforgottenboy]

What’s Ace Attorney? Do I wanna know?

its a 20 year old video game (and anime ig) that's way more popular in japan. so far ive only played the first game so this is not the full story

ok so you play as this adhd bi disaster rookie lawyer phoenix, he's basically mlm elle woods and he takes all of these impossible murder cases and gets his clients declared innocent, he has an awesome chaotic spirit channeling assistant named maya who some times turns into your mentor and her sisters ghost to give you legal advice (and inexplicably grow huge boobs) yada yada yada he cross examines a parrot at one point you get the gist

anyway, it’s also one of the best childhood friends to strangers to rivals to friends to lovers arc of the 21st century

your prosecutor rival is one miles edgeworth, an extremely fruity individual with a frilly cravat who's a little bitch during the first trial and is overly proud of his perfect trial record. so you beat him, and he's bitchy about it. but then in the next trial he helps you and everyones all confused about why.

he takes you aside after the trial and tells you that he "didnt expect to see you again”, and that “in retrospect it would have been better if we hadn’t met” because……

,Lets break this down.

1. This is all thanks to Phoenix. Phoenix caused this. It’s his fault

2. Saddles = gay

3. The feelings seem unnecessary. This is how I would have described a crush in middle school.

4. … = gay, at least in this context

(The specific feelings are described as “unease” and “uncertainty” btw but still pretty gay)

He follows this up with “never show your face in front of me again” (insert the “get out of my school” tweet here) and leaves

we don’t see him for a while until the next case, which is when he's accused of murder himself *gasp*. its a hopeless case, since he was on a boat with the victim when he died in the middle if a lake and had his fingerprints on the gun, and since he's been a little bitch, nobody wants to defend him.

but phoenix refuses to belive he did it, even when edgeworth point blank told him to fuck off. its revealed that the reason he doesnt want phoenix to defend him is because the case has something to do with "DL-6", the incident where his father, gregory edgeworth was killed in front of him in an elevator. the statue of limitations is almost up on the case, and he doesnt want phoenix to get involved with it for some reason.

anyway the prosecuter for this case is m*nfred von karma, edgeworth's mentor and legal guardian after the death of his father. now, if you thought edgeworth was a bitch, he's a thousand times worse. he insists on perfection in everything, and is not above assault and murder to get his way. he really fucked up edgeworth and his daughter franziska.

anyway, we do a bunch of bullshiting and logical gymnastics to basically prove he didnt do it, but then edgeworth says that it was actually him that accidentially killed his father!!

now since this happened when he was a kid, was an accident, he passed out after, and a bunch of other factors, i could get him off easy but he insists that he deserves to be punished and is a murderer.

so phoenix now has to make a case that he didnt do it, and he reveals why he's so passionate about proving edgeworth innocent. spoiler alert its very gay

so when phoenix was nine he was accused of stealing edgeworths lunch money, and was put on a class trial. everyone was yelling that he did it and traumatizing the poor kid until baby miles edgeworth stood up and defended him like a little lawyer. then they were best friends, and he talks about how his dad was a defense attorney and miles wanted to be just like his dad and its cute. then edgeworth stopped showing up to school (cause his dad was murdered and moved to germany by von karma) when he was at his lowest miles helped him, and it left a lasting impression on the kid.

later, when phoenix is in college, as either a drama or art major, he see's edgeworth in the newspaper, with the article talking about how he's really sus and might be forging evidence and shit, but phoenix refuses to belive all that, or at least wants to know what happended. so instead of just i dont know, showing up at court or something, he decided he was gonna become a lawyer himself to see him again.

again, he's mlm elle woods

it turns out that it was manfred von karma who killed edgeworth dad, not miles, amd he flips the fuck out. its so cathartic.

more shit happens but i havent played the rest of the games

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[buoyantsaturn]

I got too high again (realized I can’t not be with you) (1/1)

summary: “Okay, so, one time Leo got drunk when we were both at this party, and he sat on my lap, and it was all I could think about for two months. I had myself convinced that I was in love with him until the next time he accidentally set himself on fire in front of me.”

word count: 2318

read on ao3

With their busy class schedules, Nico and Hazel had to make time to see each other, despite sharing an apartment. They reserved Friday nights for each other, however that meant - watching TV or a movie, and sometimes ordering pizza, then usually staying up too late just to talk.

They were lounging on the couch in their living room with the TV playing some Halloween show that they were both mildly interested in and only half paying attention to when Nico’s phone started buzzing in his hands. Nico didn’t sit up from his slouch when he accepted the Facetime request, and Will’s face popped up on the screen, smiling big.

“Nico!” Will exclaimed, causing Hazel to eye him from across the couch. He wasn’t breaking any sacred sibling bonding time rules - she was simply curious to see what it was about.

“Hi, Will,” Nico said, unable to stop a small smile from blooming on his lips. “What’s up?”

“Oh man, Nico, it’s so nice outside,” Will told him as he was making his way inside his own apartment. “Cecil and I were just outside, uh, you know. Enjoying the fresh air.” He winked, and Nico snorted as Will started to ramble about something else entirely.

Hazel nudged him with her foot, causing Nico to glance over to her as she mouthed the words, Is he high?

Nico grinned and nodded, replying, He’s very high.

“Hey, I can see you!” Will said, and when Nico looked back at him, he saw Will pouting, now laying back on his bed.

“I know you can,” Nico replied, turning his body and tilting the camera so that he and Hazel were both in frame. “Say hi to Hazel!”

Will returned to his bright and beautiful smile, waving as he said, “Hi, Hazel!”

“Hi, Will,” Hazel said, waving back.

Nico returned to his slouch, the camera pointed only on him once more. “So… what’s up?”

Will’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Nico, babe, I have something very, very important to talk to you about.” His next few words were unintelligible as he moved around, apparently trying to find some way to prop up his phone while he was talking, meaning that Nico missed out on most of Will’s very important topic. He was pretty sure Will was talking about video games, so it likely wasn’t a huge loss. Or maybe it was Star Wars? Or a Star Wars video game. Really, with Will, any of those topics was equally as plausible. Nico tried to nod along regardless.

“Hey, Will?” Nico said gently.

“Yeah, babe?” Will’s eyes shot back to the screen, eager to listen to whatever Nico had to say.

Nico smiled and leaned his head against the pillow beside him - it was the rainbow pillow pet Hazel had gotten him for Christmas a few years back. “Why’d you call?”

Will smiled back just as soft, rolling onto his side and snuggling into his own pillow, as though trying to imagine for himself that he and Nico were laying side by side. “I just wanted to see you, and be like--” He held up a peace sign. “What’s up! I’m intoxicated.”

Nico tried to suppress his laughter, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of it the way Will appeared to light up with pride. “Okay, well, Hazel and I are watching a show right now, so I’m gonna go, okay? But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. Bye, Neeks!” Will said, and he blew Nico a kiss before Nico could end the call.

Nico set his phone down and turned his attention back to the TV, though just as he did, the image froze. With a frown, he looked to Hazel who had the remote in her hand, and was staring right back at him.

“So,” she said. “Will.”

“What about him?”

Hazel grinned. “He likes you.”

“No he doesn’t--”

“He called you babe.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “That’s just a thing people call each other.”

“No, girls call each other babe. Guys definitely do not call each other babe.” Hazel nudged him with her foot again. “He likes you.”

“He just gets more affectionate when he’s high,” Nico told her, waving it off, “and he is... frequently high.”

Hazel’s head tilted to the side. “About that...should we be concerned?”

Nico shrugged. “Cecil’s just a bad influence on him, but Will can handle himself. He’s not, like, dumb about it.”

“Right,” she nodded. “Dumb like...kinda like how you’re acting right now?”

Nico kicked her back with a bit more force than she’d used on him. “Rude.”

“It’s not rude if I’m stating a fact. And if you would act on your feelings, then I wouldn’t have to point out how dumb you are.” She punctuated the statement with a shrug.

Nico huffed. “I don’t know how to act on my feelings. I don’t even know what I’m feeling.”

“You like him,” Hazel said, as if it was obvious.

Nico crossed his arms over his chest, though rather than looking defiant, he almost looked like he was hugging himself. “I mean...maybe. What do I know? Clearly I’m not great at recognizing my own feelings...let alone others.”

Hazel straightened out a leg and set her foot on Nico’s knee. For some reason, she thought that that was a comforting gesture. Nico didn’t feel the same. “Okay, yes, you had one very bad experience, but…everybody makes mistakes! And being with what’s-his-face helped you figure some things out - admittedly in what is literally the worst way possible - but now you’re a very out and proud asexual man! And I’m so happy that you were able to come to that conclusion, but there’s another side to that coin that I think you’ve been ignoring.”

Nico frowned, meeting his sister’s eyes once again. “But what if I haven’t been ignoring it? What if I’m aromantic, too?”

Hazel hesitated. “Oh. Um. I mean, you never pegged me as aromantic, but...maybe? You did tell me you were gay, so that’s what I’ve been going with.”

Nico’s nose scrunched up in discomfort. “Yeah, but that’s just because the idea of being with a girl in any sense is disgusting to me. No offense. With guys I feel more...neutral. Or maybe it is a positive feeling, and I just don’t know the difference.”

Hazel allowed a moment to process his words before she spoke again. “Okay. Let’s try something. When you think of Will, what comes to mind?”

Nico shrugged again. “I guess...he’s nice? He’s nice to look at, and he’s funny, and--”

“No, no,” Hazel waved a hand at him, cutting him off. “Not like that. Don’t tell me about him, but, like… What kind of thoughts do you have about him? If you picture the two of you spending time together, what do you imagine? Do you think of it as more traditionally romantic, like a date, or more platonic?”

Nico frowned down at his lap in thought. “I have no idea. Can you give me, like, a scenario?”

“You’re watching a movie.”

Nico closed his eyes and bowed his head, but there was a crease in his forehead that told of his frustration. “Okay, so… We’re sitting on the couch, and we’re sitting close together...because there’s only one bowl of popcorn.”

Hazel sighed. “Forget the popcorn. Are you still close to each other? Are you holding hands? Any sort of cuddling?”

Nico’s eyes snapped open, shooting a glare across the couch. “Well, now, yeah! You’re making me think of it!”

“Sorry!” She held her hands up defensively. “Then have you ever imagined cuddling with Will?”

Nico took a deep breath, and it looked like most of his frustration left with his exhale. “Yeah, sure, but… Okay, so, one time Leo got drunk when we were both at this party, and he sat on my lap, and it was all I could think about for two months. I had myself convinced that I was in love with him until the next time he accidentally set himself on fire in front of me.”

“Have you ever thought about kissing him?”

“Leo?” Nico’s nose scrunched up again. “Ew. No.”

Hazel rolled her eyes. “No, stupid. I meant Will.”

“Oh.” Nico averted his gaze. “Maybe once or twice, yeah.”

“Have you ever thought about having sex with him?”

Nico buried his face in his hands and groaned, “Ew, Hazel, please.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “This shouldn’t be a difficult question.”

“Fine, yes, alright?” Nico snapped, throwing his arms down. “And then I went down a shame spiral because even in my own imagination, I couldn’t go through with it! And Imaginary Will always got pissed at me for leading him on, and left!”

Hazel winced. “In your daydream?”

He huffed. “I’m not exactly emotionally stable.”

“Okay, back to my point: it sounds to me like you want a romantic relationship with Will.”

“Do I?” Nico argued. “Or do I just want to reach that stage of friendship where it’s not weird for me to hug him whenever I want? Like, is that even an option?” He paused, though not long enough to allow Hazel to reply. “Did I ever tell you that I thought I had a crush on Frank when you two first started dating?”

Hazel’s jaw dropped. “You what?”

“I don’t, and I don’t think I ever actually did,” Nico assured her, “but the two of you were always spending time together, and you were always holding hands or hugging or...you know, physically affectionate, or whatever. And I thought I was jealous of you! Just because you got to hug Frank all the time, and I didn’t! And then I realized that I… I just wanted to be hugged by somebody.”

Hazel still looked a little shocked, but she shook her head as if to clear the thoughts from her mind. “Come here.”

Nico shot her a look.

“Just come here.” She patted her lap, and Nico rolled his eyes. He scooted closer on the couch and then turned and tipped over until he was laying on his back with his head resting on Hazel’s thigh. “Close your eyes.” Once he did, Hazel started running her fingers through his hair. “How does this feel?”

“Fine,” he answered automatically, and then a moment later, “Good, whatever.”

Hazel hummed. “Do you wish you were with Will right now, instead of me?”

“For this awkward conversation? Hell, no.”

She tugged on a clump of hair, causing Nico to flinch at the unexpected sensation. “Don’t be a jerk. I’m trying to help.”

“Fine. Yeah, I wish I was with Will right now,” he admitted. “But that’s just because you’re doing this out of love. You have to love me, because you’re my sister, but if Will loved me, it’d be by choice.”

“You know I love you by choice, right?”

Nico’s eyes slid open, and he looked up at her. “I know. I love you by choice, too.”

She went back to stroking his hair, and Nico’s eyes closed once more. “And you know that Will already likes you, like, a lot. Friends don’t just call to see each others’ faces. Maybe if you would give him whatever sign he needs so he knows he can ask you out--”

“He already has,” Nico muttered.

Hazel gasped. “He what?”

Nico exhaled heavily, and looked down at his hands as he started picking at his fingernails. “He asked me out once, and I panicked and asked him if I could think about it - because, believe it or not, my head was even more jumbled back then.”

Hazel glared down at him. “When is back then?”

Nico mumbled something in reply.

“Nico--”

“Two months ago!”

“Two months?” Hazel swatted at the top of his head. “Nico! You’re leading him on!”

“I know,” he groaned.

“You have to stop, that’s not fair to him!”

“I know it’s not!” Nico shouted, suddenly sounding close to tears, waving his hands around frantically as if gesticulating would help him to better express what he was trying to say. “But I can’t figure myself out because there’s… There’s something wrong with me!”

“There is nothing wrong with you,” Hazel insisted.

Nico let out an angry puff of breath and glared at his sister. “I can’t feel emotions, Hazel. That’s not normal.”

“You can too feel emotions. You’re angry and frustrated right now. Those are emotions. Sadness is an emotion. Happiness is an emotion. You’re not a robot, Neeks, you just don’t know how to define your feelings. You haven’t had the same experiences as other people, so you have to learn how to recognize things in ways that other people don’t. You can’t recognize romantic love because you haven’t experienced it yet, and you’re not going to experience it until you try. Why not try with someone like Will? Someone who’s nice, and handsome, and makes you laugh, and who already feels some amount of love for you.”

Nico seemed to notice that his argument had lost steam. “I think ‘love’ is a strong word,” he said plainly.

“I think I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” Hazel shot back. “And the way he talks about you, and the way he acts when you’re around.”

Nico sat up. “Now you’re making me anxious.”

“I’m sorry,” Hazel told him earnestly, setting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it gently. “Just don’t count yourself out before you even try, okay?”

Nico nodded. “Okay. Can we go back to the show now?” Hazel reached for the remote and resumed the episode. With his back still turned to her, Nico continued, “And can we...have a sleepover tonight?”

“Of course,” Hazel answered softly. “My room or yours?”

“Yours, if that’s okay.”

“Sure.” She paused. “Do you need a hug?”

Nico was wrapped up in her arms before he could even get a word out.

thanks for reading!

buy me coffee | more auctober stuff

[completemalum]

You're My Favorite Place

Or alternatively, Four Times Calum Almost Kissed Michael and One Time He Did.

Genre: Fluff, some angst

Rating: Everyone

A/N: This oneshot is basically a collection of mini stories that all kind of connect to each other. Title based off Favorite Place by All Time Low.

2006, Age 10

It was another Michael and Calum Weekend Sleepover, and Michael had woken up crying due to one of his night terrors. Calum was currently cuddling Michael with Michael's face buried into Calum's neck. It wasn't unusual for them to cuddle like this. They usually ended up forgoing their sleeping bags and sharing a bed together. Plus, they were best friends. They saw nothing wrong with sharing a bed. But for some reason, this felt...different to Calum. Calum was no strangers to Michael's night terrors and was always willing to help calm him down. But for some reason, this time he felt like he needed to protect Michael. Which was weird, as Calum was scrawnier and quieter than Michael and Michael was pretty much Calum's bodyguard. And with the way Michael's hand was bunching up Calum's shirt and his nose pressed against Calum's neck, he had a strong urge to kiss Michael. But he told himself no, boys can't kiss other boys. And boys especially can't kiss their best friends. Plus, he liked girls...right? At that moment he wasn't quite sure if he had ever had a crush on a girl. But he didn't want to spend all night contemplating if he liked girls or not. What mattered was that he was there, with Michael. He opted for a quick kiss on the top of Michael's head once he was sure Michael had fallen asleep and cuddled close to him before falling asleep himself.

2008, Age 12

Calum knew two things: 1. He had a huge crush on Michael. And 2. He was bisexual. He learned the term "bisexual" after his older sister, Mali, came out to him about her secret girlfriend. And honestly, he was very comfortable with that label and quite proud about figuring out his sexuality. But of course, Michael didn't know. He couldn't know. Calum was so scared that him telling Michael that he likes boys would scare Michael off because what if Michael somehow found out about Calum's crush on him and didn't want to be friends anymore?? Calum couldn't bear the thought of that. So he kept his thoughts to himself, occasionally sneaking glances at Michael and smiling at the way Michael stuck his tongue out in concentration whenever they played video games together.

Calum was yanked out of his thoughts when Michael announced "It's hot in here, can we go watch TV downstairs or something?"

Calum shrugged "We could go outside and play football."

"Noooo, playing football with you isn't fair, you always win!" Michael whined, flinging himself dramatically onto Calum's bed.

"Now you know how I feel playing racing games with you." Calum retorted with a grin

"Fiiiine." Michael groaned as he got off the bed. Calum grinned and followed Michael downstairs, grabbing the football by the door before stepping into the backyard. "Same goal spots as usual?" Michael asked

Calum nodded and put the football on the ground, gently kicking it with his foot. "Same goals." He grinned before taking off with the ball towards the goal.

"Hey! No fair!" Michael yelled, chasing after Calum. Calum laughed as Michael started catching up with him. But Michael, being clumsy as he was, tripped over his own foot, sending him and Calum tumbling. When they landed, Michael had Calum pinned to the ground. Michael grinned at Calum "Totally meant to do that."

The thought of leaning up and kissing Michael crossed Calum's mind, and he blushed before quickly pushing the thought out of his head. "Uh, let's go inside and grab a snack." Calum hoped Michael wouldn't notice that they only played football for like two minutes.

Luckily, he didn't notice, as he shrugged and said "Okay." Before climbing off Calum and heading inside. Calum groaned softly to himself before following Michael in. Having a secret crush on your best friend is hard.

2011, Age 15

The band 5 Seconds of Summer was officially together, and while they were just a small YouTube channel with a couple hundred subscribers, they were happy to be doing what they were doing. They were about to start band practice at Michael's house. Calum was the first person there as usual, sat in the basement where they rehearsed tuning his bass. Michael came downstairs to join Calum, nervously picking at his nails. Calum looked up and noticed Michael's anxious habit. "You only pick at your nails when you're nervous. Are you okay?" He asked gently.

Michael nodded as he joined Calum on the couch "It's just...I need to tell you something. But you can't tell anyone. Not even Luke and Ashton. I'm not ready to tell them yet." Calum nodded with concern on his face but gestured for Michael to continue. Michael took a deep breath. "I think I'm gay. I've known for a while now...I just finally came to terms with it recently and I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I just...really hope this doesn't change things between us. I don't want to lose my friend because I like boys." Calum felt his heart leap with joy. He had a chance. Maybe. Michael liked boys so it's a start at least.

He put his hand on Michael's arm "Mike...nothing could change between us. You're my best friend and it'd be dumb if I didn't want to be friends with you anymore because you like boys. I'm really happy for you, thank you for telling me." Calum saw relief wash over Michael's face and he gave Michael's arm a comforting squeeze. God, how bad he wanted to kiss Michael right then. He opened his mouth to give Michael his own confession but right then Luke and Ashton came barreling down the stairs, arguing over some new video game. Calum squeezed Michael's hand before getting off the couch and grabbing his bass. How he wished he had the courage to tell Michael how he felt.

2015, Age 19

Michael was hurt. Bad. A fire cannon had malfunctioned during one of their shows and hit Michael in the face, catching his hair on fire and burning the left side of his face. Calum had gotten burned too while trying to help Michael, but once they were at the hospital he had insisted he was fine, so they put some cream on his arm to soothe the burn and wrapped it up. Ashton was outside making phone calls and Luke went downstairs to the cafeteria to get food. Calum had told Luke that he wasn't hungry and wanted to stay with Michael. Him and Michael sat in comfortable silence for a while before Michael spoke up.

"Cal?" He asked. Calum looked up and his heart broke. Michael's lip was quivering and tears were gathering in his eyes. "What if I have a scar on my face because of this? What if people think I'm ugly?" His voice shook as tears fell from his eyes.

"Mikey..." Calum said softly, standing up to sit on the bed. He put his hand on Michael's cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb "You could never be ugly. Not to me, at least." Michael smiled softly, leaning into Calum's touch.

"Thank you for being here with me. And holding my hand on our way here. You're the only person able to keep my grounded."

Calum smiled and intertwined his and Michael's fingers and kissed his hand "I'd do anything for you." He still hadn't confessed his feelings to Michael yet, but he had become bolder with his physical affection for Michael and he knew Michael wouldn't think anything of the hand kiss. Before either of them could say anything, Luke came back with food, causing them to part. Calum cast one more longing glance at Michael before helping Luke get the food out.

2018, Age 22

5SOS was in the process of finishing up their 3rd album, Youngblood. They only had a few songs left to record and were recording the song "Why Don't You Love Me" and Michael was singing his solo in the song. All four of them were in the studio that day, but Calum was watching Michael for most of it. But he could've sworn that Michael was staring at him for most of his solo. After Michael finished, their producer suggested they take a break to get lunch. They all started to file out of the room, but Calum gently grabbed Michael's arm to stop him. He shoved his hands in his pockets before saying "Who's the song about, Mike?"

Michael looked taken aback "I-I don't know what you mean..."

Calum scoffed "I know you better than that. Every song you write involves some aspect of your life. You dont just casually write a song like that. And I noticed you glancing over at us. So, who's the lucky guy?"

Michael dropped his head and said in a voice that Calum almost didn't hear "You."

Calum's heart stopped "What?"

Michael sighed and lifted his head "The song is about you. I've been in love with you since we were 16. I wrote this song a few years ago. I'd hoped getting my feelings out would help me get over you, but-"

Michael was interrupted by Calum lunging forward and pressing his lips to Michael's. Michael made a noise of surprise before kissing back. The kiss was desperate and filled with years of unspoken words. Calum's fingers were tangled in Michael's hair and Michael was desperately gripping Calum's shirt. Calum didn't want to pull away, but he finally did when he needed to breathe. He rested his forehead against Michael's as they both panted, trying to catch their breath. After a few minutes, Calum whispered "I've dreamt of kissing you every night for ten years." Michael smiled and rubbed Calum's sides before whispering "I love you, Hood."

[artificialqueens]

Level Up, Chapter Ten (Branjie) - Holtzmanns

read on ao3 | word count: 4722

“It’s a great thing. Hey, can I be your momager? Kris Jenner style? Build a Mateo empire and all that?” Alexis’ face lights up, and Vanessa has to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Her sister never changes.

“You’re not even my mom. Besides, if you were a Kardashian, you’d be Khloe at best.”

Alexis pouts. “That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

AN: So…it’s been another month…oops. Sorry everyone! Real life is busy busy, but I’ve had time here and there to work on this fic so while it’s slow going, it’s still trucking along. Thank you guys so much for all the love you’ve given this fic so far, I appreciate it so much. Let me know what you think of this chapter as well! As usual, writ is amazing for betaing <3

Beep beep beep-

“Fuck.” Vanessa grumbles underneath her breath as she hits snooze on her alarm clock for the fifth time in a row, but looking at the 7:15 that flashes on the display, she can’t ignore her wake up time for much longer.

She’s back at work today, a shoot up in midtown. First day back after the tournament.

Not that Vanessa wants to think about it.

The evening after her last match had been a blur, the events mixing together and forming a grey cloud hovering above her brain. Maybe it’s good, though, because the last thing Vanessa wants to do is relive the way her opponent broke down the structures of her boxing skills as if doing so brick by brick.  Now, she feels no better than a beginner walking into their very first class. Hell, maybe Vanessa never had been.

Brooke must be so disappointed with her, now that yesterday’s events have had a chance to settle and allow for some reflection on their surfaces. She hadn’t wanted to show it much last night, being more concerned around whether Vanessa was okay. But now, the fact that her coaching skills are being wasted on Vanessa is probably sinking in, considering Vanessa wasn’t able to stand up to a little bit of a challenge in the ring.

The fact that Vanessa has the day off from training today feels like a blessing. She can push away the events of yesterday and hide them behind a wall in her brain, one strong enough to conceal all the humiliation and disappointment running through her veins, the types that feel like they will never clear out of her system again. She doesn’t have to peek behind the wall until tomorrow, until she’s back in the gym for another morning practice to relive how terribly she’d burned under pressure.

Vanessa reaches out towards her bedside table, fumbling around until she snags her phone by the popsocket in between her fingers just as it’s about to drop. The battery that flashes on the screen is low, nineteen percent, something that makes her frown. She’d definitely plugged it in last night when she’d gotten home, in between sulking on the couch and watching reruns of Malcolm in the Middle to try and wipe her brain. By the time she’d climbed under her covers and unplugged her phone, it had been fully charged.

The dropping battery, now at seventeen percent, is a far cry from being the most alarming thing on her screen. Not with notifications upon notifications on her lock screen from both Twitter and Instagram and, wait - one that says that Bad Bunny of all people has just followed her?

What?

Maybe Vanessa’s still in dreamland, one where she’s become a famous boxer or a rapper with connections in high places. Maybe her alarm clock is about to go off one more time to properly wake her up, because nothing about her screen makes any sense at all.

But then Vanessa’s phone starts to buzz and it’s Monet who’s trying to Facetime her, and she swipes and is about to grumble how it’s early in the morning, damnit-

“Finally! The legend herself is awake!”

“What are you on about?” Vanessa holds back a yawn as she pushes the blankets away from her legs, swings them over the side of her bed.

“You’re a meme, bitch!”

“Huh?” Vanessa’s brows push together as she heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth, phone held in one hand. “Was that Monique’s voice?”

“Not relevant.” Monet waves her hand, when a figure in the background shoots a smile to the camera. “What’s more relevant is the fact that your dumbass has gone viral. You’re trending on Twitter.”

“I’m what now? What the hell would I go viral for? I don’t do anything.” Vanessa mumbles, the toothbrush still in her mouth. “Except lose matches.”

“That’s sort of what you’re viral for.” Monique pops into the frame, a gleeful smile on her face. “Well, more like your little performance after you lost.”

Wait, what?

“What do you mean, performance? I don’t remember doing anything.”

Vanessa tries to ignore the way her heart is beating faster and faster as she spits out her toothpaste, trying to rack what’s left in her brain after actively pushing down the events of last night, because shit, did she do something stupid like have a tantrum? Throw a fit? She can’t even remember after trying to forget it all and the night feels like a blur to her, and fuck, if she’s gone and done something stupid…shit.

She’s real screwed now.

“Wait. You don’t remember?” Monet’s mouth drops open almost in sync with Monique’s and Jesus Christ, this would be funny if Vanessa wasn’t currently filled with a sense of impending doom. “You serious?”

“What did I do?” Maybe Vanessa’s voice gets a little bit squeaky but it’s a miracle that it even comes out at all, from the way that she’s about to implode on the inside.

Monet fiddles with her screen on the other end as a link pops up in Vanessa’s notifications. “Better you watch it yourself.”

Jesus Christ.

The link takes Vanessa to Twitter and fuck, it’s a video of her and her opponent after the match has ended, one that’s surprisingly good quality - probably all the professional cameras that were filming the final matches for some obscure sports network. On screen, Vanessa’s drenched in sweat and looking a little woozy but somehow her braids are still intact, and it’s nice to see that at least her opponent is looking equally as knackered. Though the referee raises the hand of her opponent to indicate the win and watching the events back, it does sting a little bit. They’re still in the ring as the tournament’s master of ceremonies makes his way over, a bedazzled microphone in his hand that sparkles under the bright overhead lights.

“That was quite the match, ladies! I gotta hand it to both of you because that was entertaining boxing. Let’s talk to you first, Vanessa, after that loss. What’s going through your head?”

Vanessa watches as her on screen self leans in towards the mic, a little bit unsteady on her feet. “Coulda done better. On that note…Miss Vanjie out.”

On screen, she sways a little bit, her eyes rolling back and-

Wait. She’d gone and fainted yesterday during the interview?

The camera pans to the floor for a second before focusing on the interviewer again, who looks only slightly alarmed as a medical crew surrounds Vanessa. “Well. That’s one way to make a statement.”

“What the hell?” Vanessa mumbles to herself, because…that’s what she’s viral for? Fainting?

What?

She goes back to the Facetime app where the call with Monique and Monet is still open, twin expectant expressions on their faces. “What’s so exciting about fainting? That’s embarrassing as hell.”

Monique looks delighted by the question. “You see, it’s memeable.”

“Very memeable.” Monet finishes, and Vanessa wants to bonk both of their heads together, really.

Text after text pops up from Monique on the top of the screen, all Twitter links and oh god, Vanessa’s almost afraid to see what they hold.  

But she has to know.

She clicks the first, the caption making her pause.

Interviewer: so why would we hire you?

Me :

There’s a cropped version of the video right underneath, and Vanessa’s not sure why she presses play, really, to hear herself say ‘ Miss Vanjie out’ and faint again.

Doesn’t get any less embarrassing than the first time she’d watched it. She clicks on another that Monique’s sent to her.

My mom: are you gay?

Me:

Vanessa can’t help but giggle because, well, the video does fit. She can’t deny that. She goes through the rest, and the way the captions get better and better is a little infuriating.

Me seeing a person from high school in public:

Me when my mom asks if I took the chicken out of the freezer two hours ago like I was supposed to:

When your professor calls on you in class as you’re about to enter REM sleep:

Good lord. Vanessa really is a meme.

She lets out a groan as she goes back to Facetime, Monique and Monet’s twin cackles an unfortunate soundtrack. “I’m really a meme. I’m a whole ass meme.”

Monet looks almost proud. “Yeah you are. ‘Miss Vanjie’ is trending on Twitter.”

“Okay, but what am I gonna do?” Vanessa almost doesn’t even notice the way that she starts pacing in front of her closet, in line with the way that her thoughts are beginning to race because fuck, this is going to be embarrassing.

Hell, it’s already embarrassing. She’s a meme, in a viral video and she’s trending on Twitter of all things for fainting at an opportune time and her mom’s probably seen it and her coworkers and the entire fucking world, for that matter. Jeez.

What does Brooke even think about all of this?

“You can’t faint your way out of this one, Vanj.” Monique snickers, growing into a full laugh when Vanessa groans, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Just a little too soon for that.”

Monet is oblivious to her internal turmoil, though, her face close to the camera on screen. “You have like, a hundred thousand followers on Instagram now. Pretty damn cool if you ask me.”

“I do? What?” Vanessa goes to the app, which opens for a split second before crashing. Damn. “Who the hell is following me?”

She tries to open it a second time and her notifications page refreshes every few seconds, with likes and comments pouring in on her recent posts. Most of them say ‘Miss Vanjie out ’, a fact that Vanessa does her very best to ignore. But hey, at least Monet is right. She does have a shit ton of followers now.

Woah.

“They want to follow the meme, the myth, the legend, that’s why. I bet you can get sponsorships and shit.” Monet’s looking excited, sharing a gleeful smile with Monique. “Damn. I shoulda fainted on television.”

“I didn’t faint on purpose.” Vanessa groans, flopping back onto her bed and trying to ignore the way her heart is pounding out of her chest. “It just sorta happened.”

It did. Not that Vanessa can remember it in the least, because the evening still feels like a blur in her brain, one that she had tried to bury in the initial embarrassment of losing the match but now, she’s not sure if she can.

It’s going to be a little bit harder to push the events of yesterday behind a wall when the whole world now knows about it. She’s going to need some Men in Black style memory wiping to even think about living in blissful ignorance now.

“Brooke said it was ‘cause you had low blood sugar. She was damn relieved it wasn’t from a concussion.”

Shit. Vanessa didn’t even think of Brooke’s reaction to her fainting, after seeing her dad go through what he did all those years ago-

“I should call her.” Vanessa rushes out, biting her lip. “Talk to you later?”

Monique waves. “See you, meme legend.”  

Vanessa rolls her eyes as she hangs up, trying to wipe her clammy hands on her pants before calling Brooke. She answers on the first ring, her eyebrows creased and a worried look on her face.

“Thank god you’re okay. You feel okay?”

“I’m a meme.”

Brooke’s anxious expression melts away, her eyes beginning to crinkle as she holds back a laugh. “That you are. How did you even manage that?”

“I dunno! I forget most of it!” Vanessa runs a hand through her hair, because hell, that’s a question she wishes she had the answer to. “Did that actually happen?”

“You bet it did. Next time, I’m giving you an extra protein bar before your third match of the day. Your energy was just drained.”

“Speaking of the match…” Vanessa trails off, busying her eyes with her closet to pull out some clothes because what is she supposed to even say, really? “I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” The confusion on Brooke’s face is genuine when Vanessa looks back at the screen, her eyebrows creasing together and it’s almost worse, really, to have to actually explain. Pick it apart.

“For losing. For not really taking in the coaching that you were trying to give me between rounds. For being overconfident during the match, I don’t know.” Vanessa lets out a breath. “I just…I feel like I let you down.”

The words really begin to settle in as they leave Vanessa’s lips, crystalizing in the air. This tournament had been the first one of hers that Brooke came to, and she just had to go and lose the last match in a blisteringly pathetic way. Does Brooke regret coaching her? Having her name attached to someone like Vanessa?

Vanessa lets out a breath as the thoughts build upon one another, filling up more and more space in her abdomen, but Brooke shakes her head. “You think I’m disappointed because you lost a match? Unless you’re the Hulk and have something to tell me, it’s impossible to win every single fight that you enter. You’re not invincible, and guess what? Boxing is hard. Really hard. Even making it to the finals on your first try is something that you should be proud of.”

“Yeah?” Vanessa doesn’t mean for her voice to come out so shaky, she really doesn’t.

Brooke for her part smiles, though it doesn’t do much to calm the beating of Vanessa’s heart in her chest. “I, for one, am proud of you. Not only for the matches that you won, but for that last one. Even when it was tough, you kept pushing until the very end. You gave it everything you had.”

Vanessa makes a face. “Quite literally.”

“Had a feeling you were going to make a splash somehow. Didn’t think it would be by becoming a meme.” Brooke keeps a straight face for approximately three seconds before bursting into laughter, and Vanessa groans, flopping back onto her bed.

She’s never, ever, going to live this down. Ever.

“At least it’s a funny meme. Could’ve been worse.” Vanessa sighs.

She supposes she’s lucky it wasn’t as humiliating as it could have been. Though as she’s trying to think about it, Vanessa’s not sure how to make it even more embarrassing. A nip slip? A crowd reaction shot?

“Speaking of which, the gym is getting tweets from news outlets trying to write about it. They want a first hand scoop.” Brooke snorts.

Vanessa raises an eyebrow. “Seriously? Are you kidding? What sort of wack news outlets want to write about a meme?”

“Think of places that start with ‘b’ and rhyme with ‘uzzfeed’.”

“Ah.” Vanessa nods, because that makes more sense. She pauses, looking at the way Brooke’s face is smiling and kind, when she doesn’t necessarily feel like she deserves it. But maybe, Brooke’s just that nice. “Also…thanks. For what you said.”

“I am proud. Real proud.” Brooke’s smile is soft, reaching her eyes, and it makes Vanessa want to reach into the screen, give her a hug. “As far as students go, I got lucky.”

“Even though I turned into a meme?”

“Especially because you turned into a meme. Don’t let the fame get into your head, though. We have practice again bright and early tomorrow.” Brooke clicks her tongue as she winks, and it’s nice, because for a minute, everything just feels normal.

“Looking forward to it.”

Vanessa hangs up the call and maybe she’s feeling a little bit better after talking to Brooke, her heart not quite threatening to break her chest open anymore. Sure, the threads of disbelief are still hanging over her head in webs because this doesn’t feel real, not really, all the notifications on her phone and the way that Monet and Monique had gleefully told her the news, giddiness mixed in with a little bit of jealousy. Vanessa’s not at the point of wanting it, not just yet. She’s not sure if she’s going to get there, just not the way that her friends would.

But hey, maybe it’ll be fun. And she has no other choice but to roll with it, does she?

“What the fuck?”

Alexis’ exclamation of surprise echoes from her bedroom and it’s enough to make Vanessa amble over, see what she’s up to.  “What?”

“How the hell did you get verified on Instagram? Totally not jealous or anything, nope.” Alexis huffs and Vanessa scrambles onto Alexis’ mattress beside her, peering over at her screen.

And there it is. A fancy blue check beside Vanessa’s 245k followers, which, when she refreshes her page, grows to 250k. Holy shit.

“But that means at least two hundred and fifty thousand people have seen that stupid video. Lord almighty.” Vanessa groans, walking over to Alexis’ bed so that she can hide her face in the blankets, as if it will hide her from everything else, too.

Two hundred and fifty thousand people now know what Vanessa looks like, and know about the idiotic things that she tends to say under pressured situations. That many people have decided to follow her on Instagram, which up until now has really only featured makeup looks and silly pictures with her friends.

Alexis pats her shoulder, looking a little too calm for Vanessa’s taste. “Technically the video on Twitter has millions of views, so I’d say the number is a bit higher.”

Vanessa’s stomach turns. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“Who said I was trying to do that?” Alexis waves a hand. “Listen, mom and I are the ones you should be thanking. We made you go take boxing classes, right? Now you can be an influencer.”

“You say that as if it’s a good thing.” Vanessa makes a face. A nice gift from them, truly. All Vanessa’s wanted in life. To be a meme of all things, a fucking meme.

One that Bad Bunny follows.

“It’s a great thing. Hey, can I be your momager? Kris Jenner style? Build a Mateo empire and all that?” Alexis’ face lights up and Vanessa has to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Her sister never changes.

“You’re not even my mom. Besides, if you were a Kardashian, you’d be Khloe at best.”

Alexis pouts. “That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Whatever Khloe, this Kim has to head out to work.” Vanessa stretches, lifting herself off the bed to grab her bag as she hears Alexis huff from her position on the mattress.

“Who says you get to be Kim?”

The thing about owning a business is that there is always work to be done.

There are bills to pay. Parents to call. Equipment to order. It never ends, not when Brooke is the sole one responsible for making sure everything gets done the way that it should.

Not that Brooke minds it too much. She likes being at the gym, even if she’s getting work done - the place is always comfortably busy, with classes taking place, athletes training on their own, parents cheering on their kids. The hum of activity in the gym is easy to tune out and becomes white noise that is comforting, a reminder of what she’s used to. The gym is a second home at this point, the banners on the wall and the constant stream of the classes as familiar to her as breathing.

It’s a home that she likes to be in.

So that’s why Brooke is there at 8 p.m. on a weeknight, despite the fact that today is Vanessa’s day off before training starts again tomorrow. She still has things to do in her office, always does and sometimes, it feels better than just sitting at home.

“Three kids fell over dramatically and yelled ‘Miss Vanjie out’ as I walked into the gym just now. Their instructor did not look amused.” Vanessa’s head peeks past the doorway and Brooke ignores the way her chest feels a little bit lighter from hearing her voice, seeing her face. Confirming the fact that she’s still in one piece.

“What are you doing here? It’s your day off.”

Vanessa shrugs, leaning against the doorframe. “I got bored. What are you doing here? Do you live here? Serious question, is there a bunk tucked away somewhere in this office?”

“As convenient as that would be, I haven’t fully lost it yet, so no.” Brooke snorts.

Vanessa plops herself down on the edge of her desk, her matching lilac sweatshirt and sweatpants dwarfing her frame while making her look cozy. “I was going stir crazy after work.”

“Hmm?”

“At home.” Vanessa shrugs, her legs swinging a little as they dangle. “Don’t wanna do any chores, can’t talk to Alexis ‘cause she won’t shut up about the fact that I’m a whole ass meme. Can’t go on social media ‘cause it keeps crashing. Also, some reporters found my number and won’t stop calling me. That’s weird, right? Where’d they find that?”

Vanessa bites her lip as she fiddles with her hands on her lap, and the sight makes Brooke’s chest tighten. Sure, Vanessa is smiles and bravado personified, someone with an uncanny ability to charm the pants off of anyone who interacts with her, but her current situation is…exposing. It’s as if she’s put on display under a lens for the whole world to see and react to and share their thoughts on, and worst of all, it’s not in Vanessa’s control, or anyone’s control for that matter.

And despite Vanessa’s charisma and extroverted personality, Brooke understands how it can be unsettling. She’s been there, after all.

If only Brooke had a way to protect her. She’s her coach, isn’t she? Shouldn’t she know what to do? Except no rulebooks that Brooke has thumbed through have ever come with instructions on what to do when an athlete becomes an internet sensation. Especially when most of the time, athletes are trying to make it big on purpose.

Brooke lifts herself up, ambling around the desk to sit down beside Vanessa. There’s a vulnerability in Vanessa’s eyes that’s not often visible when others are around, like her teammates. No, it’s an expressiveness that Vanessa has allowed Brooke to begin to witness over time - the softer sides of her, the ones that are less polished and ready for an audience, and Brooke doesn’t want to ever take it for granted.

She holds out her hand and Vanessa intertwines their fingers without a second thought, their hands fitting together like pieces of a puzzle despite their difference in size. Vanessa’s palm is warm and there’s no way that Brooke can actually feel her pulse through their grip but from the way that Vanessa’s looking up at her, she wonders if their heartbeats are in sync.

Brooke looks at Vanessa, really looks at her. She’s someone that Brooke has trained for a while now, someone who is trying to convince her to marathon Bad Girls Club, someone who Brooke considers a friend - Vanessa’s her friend, right? Is that what they are? Vanessa texts her memes while she’s at work and makes Brooke laugh more than she ever thought she could during training sessions and that’s what friends are supposed to do, aren’t they? At least, Brooke thinks so. Sure, Vanessa is her athlete and someone that Brooke trains and there’s a certain level of professionalism that goes into a coaching scenario but…it’s different. This is different.

Vanessa is more than just her athlete. She’s someone that Brooke cares about, someone who deserves everything and Brooke just wishes that she could give it to her, make her happy because her smile is the cutest thing and always lights up a room. So it makes sense, then, the way that Brooke’s heart tugs, seeing Vanessa like this, her shoulders slightly slumped and her leg bouncing from anxious energy.

“I wish I could control it, y’know? I feel like it’s a beast that’s definitely outta my skill set ‘cause last I checked, ‘Miss Vanjie’ was still trending on Twitter. How is a dumb meme spreading so fast?” Vanessa pulls out her phone, her eyebrows scrunching together when the screen is already lit up with notifications. “Christ on a bike.”

If only there was a way that Brooke could shield Vanessa from all of this - no, not shield her, but rather help her wield the spotlight that’s been cast on her. Somehow give her a chance to sit in the driver’s seat with control over what her new audience can see. Brooke wracks her brain, trying to think back to her professional boxing days and how she’d managed her career. Well, not that she’d done the managing, Detox had done that for her-

Oh.

“I don’t know if control would be the right word, but managing, maybe? I know someone who might be able to help with that.” Brooke ventures, because hey, it’s been years since she’s talked to Detox, much less been a client of hers but maybe she’ll have some suggestions.

Maybe she’ll even take Vanessa on as a client of her own.

Vanessa raises an eyebrow. “Who? The lord himself so that he can control all of social media?”

“What? No,” Brooke snorts, “though I like that suggestion. I was thinking more in the direction of my old manager.”

Hell, Brooke doesn’t even know if Detox is still in sports management anymore because it’s been years, after all. Though Brooke supposes it’s never a bad idea to at least look into her - having someone that she already knows and trusts is better than a random sleazeball who could be trying to fleece Vanessa for a fat check.

Brooke’s definitely not going to let Vanessa be taken advantage of, that’s for sure.

Vanessa looks unconvinced. “A manager? Slow down, ‘cause I’m not even a pro yet. I’m apparently the most amateur boxer to box this side of the equator, from that tournament. Wouldn’t a whole ass manager be a little fast?”

“First of all, continue that negative self talk, and that’ll translate to more reps during tomorrow’s morning workout.” Brooke gives Vanessa a look and her sheepish smile is enough to make her own expression soften almost immediately.

“Aye aye, captain.”

“Second,” Brooke continues, “you may not be a pro boxer just yet, but you seem to have splashed into the mainstream in a more memorable way than any pro boxer will ever be able to achieve. You have a platform now, and that’s not something that’s easy to get.”

“A platform built on a meme.” Vanessa mumbles, and Brooke nudges her shoulder.

“It’s your platform. Your microphone. Sure, it’s not exactly what you expected, but what big break ever is? It’s your turn to figure out what you want to do with it.”

Vanessa bites her lip. “You make it sound easy.”

“Sure as hell won’t be easy. Fame never really is, honestly. But I’ll be here with you to navigate through it and figure it out. If you’ll have me. Help you discover what kind of stage you want to have.” It’s presumptuous, Brooke knows, because she’s only Vanessa’s coach after all and it’s not like they’ve been working together for years and years, and maybe Vanessa doesn’t even care that much.

But then Vanessa’s throwing her arms around Brooke’s neck, and Brooke’s face is pressed against the soft cotton of her hoodie and it’s funny, really, how well Vanessa fits in her embrace, from the way she almost curls up against her. “You better be. You’re my coach, which means we’re automatically ride or dies, right? Isn’t that how it goes?”

“Is that how you want it to go?”

“Is that how you want it to go?“ Vanessa pulls back and the sudden uncertainty in her eyes makes Brooke want to reach out and smooth over her furrowed brow.

But she doesn’t. Instead, she pulls Vanessa back into a hug. “It’s definitely how I want it to go.”

“Good.” Vanessa’s voice is muffled as she shuffles closer in their hug. “Now call up your friend Detroit or whatever her name is, ‘cause we need her advice.”

“Detox?”

“Close enough.”

Find me at @plastiquetiaras ! Let me know your thoughts if you feel like it

[rock-speaks]

OKAY OKAY RANDOM HEADCANON TIME!!!

Louie

- autistic with ADHD overlap

- Inattentive

- the longest he’s slept for was 25 hours

- Deep as hell sleeper takes him at least and hour or two to come to full control

- Has 0 filter will literally say whatever comes to his mind regardless of how mean it may be or how crazy it might sound

- Talks to himself a crazy amount

- Louie has a banging TikTok where he just flexes and makes fun of Scrooge

- Louie has a huge social media presence in general he keeps it on the down low nobody knows about it and Louie would like to keep it that way

- Louie is a picky eater but eats all the time constantly snacking if the pantry is empty it was probably Louies doing

- He probably watches shitty movies and claims it’s too make fun of them but he really just likes them

- Probably really good at impressions his favorite person too make fun of is Huey

- Definitely needs therapy

- Secretly a big sap for romance those cliche movies where lovers embrace in the rain? Louies weakness

- Him and Lena are definitely super close not as close as Lena is too Webby but they’re still besties

- Prank king

- Sometimes just too “see what will happen” he tells people fake facts they almost always believe him (except for Huey) because why would they not? He has no idea why he does this but he hasn’t shown any signs of stopping

- Whenever he’s alone with Scrooge he says oddly cryptic and strange things no body knows why, sometimes not even Louie

- I imagine all the nephews have really curly hair Louies the only one who doesn’t straighten his hair

- Excellent judge of character

- Wise ass

Huey

- autistic!!!

- Will bring up the fact that he’s the oldest sibling in conversations that have nothing to do with it

- He’s probably a big saver and is definitely a person who has a penny collection

- Big collector!!! I swear he probably uses one of Scrooge’s unused rooms too keep foliage and rocks that he found

- He’s definitely got great posture

- Huey will randomly bring up a random memory if it somehow resurfaces to his mind no one knows how he remembers half this stuff and sometimes he brings up stuff they’d wish he’d forgotten

- Has definitely never said anything he didn’t mean

- Never says “I promise” if he knows he can’t do it

- Huey really just wants to be good at everything he tries so when he isn’t he just kinda gives up on it

- So obviously Huey isn’t a “practice makes perfect” kind of kid he’s more the “if it’s not right the first time scrap it and never try again”

- Huey probably holds himself to such a high standard and puts so much stress on himself to always be perfect

- Loyalty to the fuckin end

- Him and Lena get into “fights” all the time Lena is constantly trying to fuck with Huey and he’s just not here for it (yet another reason why her and Louie make such an insufferable team)

- Bad at video games

- Definitely takes the most after Donald in the sense that he’s so fucking rage full and I mean full Donald rage like fists flying in the air shouting with a red face type angry

- Needs fucking therapy and definitely has anxiety

- Has a bad sense of humor and laughs at everything part of the reason Dewey and Louie think they’re so funny

- Only has his one iPad and really only uses it for planning and other nerd stuff

- All fruits are Hueys favorite fruits but his favorites are blue berries

- Has a celebrity crush on Gizmoduck

Dewey

- This was pretty much confirmed murder on killmotor hill but he’s bisexual

- Long Huey shows up in his nightmares

- Always the first to start a pillow fight

- Has abandonment issues needs therapy

- Secretly listens to punk music and only Donald knows and he couldn’t be more proud (I wrote this before Louies eleven came out!! Lmao canon!!!)

- Loves to draw even though he probably sucks at it

- Dewey is totally the kid that will literally do anything for validation jump off the roof too seem cool? He’d do it in a heart beat

- Pretends not too care but he totally does

- Dewey is ADHD personalized never stops moving never stops talking something is seriously wrong when he’s quiet

- This is technically canon but he’s so petty

- Dewey is the type of guy who would NEVER ask for directions no matter how lost

- Speaking of he was probably the triplet to get lost the most

- Dewey loves robots like loves loves LOVES robots his dream is to learn to code and learn mechanics and build one him and Huey and him used to do those little “build your own robot kits” when they were younger

- Dewey has like 50 different dream jobs

- Launchpad has turned him into a hardcore darkwing duck fan

- THEATER KID

- Sort of forces himself to be an extrovert

Webby

- Webby loves to draw

- Has definitely cosplayed

- Knows about Louies secret social media accounts but he doesn’t need to know that

- You’re trying to keep something from Webby? What a joke

- Webby knows pretty much every ancient language

- Webby doesn’t know what a joke is and takes everything literally

- Definitely writes fan fictions

- Autistic

- Stims with her whole body excited jumping and screaming constantly

- Probably orally fixated out everything in her mouth

- Sometimes forgets things she literally just did or said often she asks “wait what did I just say?”

- Favorite movie? Men in black for sure

- Has always secretly wanted to be in a play

- If Scrooge says anything nice to her she thinks about it weeks after even if it’s something as small as “thank you”

- Feels really bad for glomgold and just really wants him to be happy

- Webby is cuddle central doesn’t matter when or where or who

- It kind of bothers her that Lena seems to always take Louies side

- HATES CONFRONTATION will console a friend in a heart beat but never NEVER EVER wants to fight

- Bad with social cues due to her ASD luckily she has the triplets and Lena and Violet to help her out in bad situations

- If no one stops her will talk about one thing for hours Lena always lets her

- Probably knows how to play like a shit ton of instruments

- Really likes cooking but she sucks at it Scrooge ate her cooking once to make her happy but promptly through it up when she left

- Was definitely a lego kid

Lena

- If any elderly woman tries to touch her she flips due to magicas abuse good thing she’s got two gay dads now

- Loves Violet so much and thanks her every night before bed

- After extensive therapy that was suggested by Violet had the rest of her friends she’s able to look at her own shadow again even if sometimes it really freaks her out

- Lena is a lesbian 100% open about it

- Wishes she were a vampire and definitely reads those dumb vampire/werewolf stories

- Really likes that she’s taller than all her friends uses that against her Huey fucking hates her for it

- Her favorite crime is arson

- Because she’s a rebellious teen her and officer M’ma have had a few run ins

- Shes probably never actually been to Paris but rather said that to impress Webby

- Lenas the type of emo to cover her face in every picture of her

- Has always cut her hair herself and when her friends talk about wanting to cut their hair she does it for them trying to convince them to let her dye it the whole time

- Lenas is responsible for most of the graffiti in duckburg

- Loves Launchpad she thinks it’s really fun to tell him stuff that isn’t true and he’s cool when she tells him she was just joking

- Has always secretly wanted to be a florist

- Loves licorice

- Magica probably didn’t intend for her to have a personality or a life at all really so Lena definitely picked the name herself

- Magicas not really controlling her nightmares anymore but she’s still very much in them they’ve gotten better but they still happen every so often

- Sometimes if she’s sitting on the couch and someone’s sitting right in front of her she kicks them in the head not hard but enough to bother them

- Probably can’t read

- She probably doesn’t have an official birthday so she doesn’t really understand the celebration of one one day Webby the triplets and Violet surprised her with a birthday

Violet

- in my head Duckula and Von goosewing will always be her parents

- Violets favorite thing to research is definitely trees

- Weak ass immune system probably gets sick all the time

- Definitely dresses however see feels on her off days she throws people off when she shows up ripped jeans and leather jackets

- Her biggest pet peeve is when anyone does anything loud

- Violet has been teaching things that Lena wasn’t taught since she never got a traditional education

- Violet is still a hard core skeptic despite having a sister made of shadows and a father who is a vampire

- Her hair is always a frizzy mess so she chooses never to do anything with it and just keeps it in a bun

- Really doesn’t get any memes ever

- Violet is probably a very low key germaphobe

- Pokemon is her favorite game and she knows all the originals and is a pro at all the games

-Huey and her do that thing we’re neither of you are fighting but rather both talking loudly that makes people think “oh it’s getting pretty heated over there”

[pangzi]

Otome Gay [Nielan] - Chapter 2

word count: 2394  other chapters:  INTRO - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 [AO3]

 Another week had passed since Huaisang gave Mingjue the game, and Mingjue was addicted. He had finished most storylines quite quickly, going for all endings as Huaisang had asked him to.

He had started with purple barista boy. At first he seemed like a brat with anger issues, but Mingjue quickly learned that with a few compliments the boy turned soft. Both stealing his heart and getting him to hate you weren’t very difficult with him. The neutral ending, however, was a pain in the ass to get. Give him one compliment too many, or say one wrong thing and your chance of a neutral ending drops to nearly zero.

Then he chose to try the med student. He was exactly as Mingjue expected him to be from the way he was drawn. He was a cute, shy boy. He looked up to his sister, as Huaisang had told Mingjue and was extremely driven. He was sweet, sometimes a little too sweet. Mingjue had to try his route so often he almost started to wonder if this boy even had a negative ending. Both the neutral and positive endings, however, were fairly easy to obtain.

Mingjue was currently trying to finish the rich kid’s routes. At first he didn’t like this one. The boy was a bit too proud for Mingjue’s liking. Mingjue kept getting stuck trying to get the positive ending, always getting the neutral one. This was the longest Mingjue had ever spent trying to finish one route without getting an alternative ending or having to restart. As a last resort, Mingjue was currently working all possible jobs in the game, trying to get enough money to buy rich kid the most expensive gifts. Right when Mingjue was about to buy said gifts, rich kid showed up at Mingjue’s house! To say Mingjue was surprised, when rich kid presented his character with a bouquet of roses and asked to give him a chance. Mingjue wasn’t sure whether he was annoyed at this ending, or if he was just happy he finally got the good ending and could finally move on.

After a shower and a quick meal, Mingjue decided to start the last character. Mingjue liked to tell himself that he left this one for last just because he was always together with the dancer kid Mingjue didn’t like. Definitely not because he was saving the best for last. 

He played the game all weekend and had only managed to unlock the neutral ending several times. Still, this was the character he enjoyed the most. Can a video game character have a calming aura? Because this character definitely had it. 

This was impossible. Absolutely impossible, and still Mingjue knew it shouldn’t be impossible. He had been able to unlock all endings for the other characters, so why was Art Guy different? Huaisang had said he was special, but it wouldn’t be that dating him was impossible, right? No, Art Guy was special enough without that. He was kind, more kind than any of the other characters. He had a beautiful smile, the only smile Mingjue actually noticed even. Conversations with him were always nice, never felt repetitive, and Mingjue just wanted to date him!

He was getting in too deep, way too deep. He had to stop playing. As a last resort, Mingjue had even tried to befriend the annoying little dancer boy, who ended up being even more annoying than expected. Befriending dancer boy only ended in Mingjue unlocking his positive ending, which made him want to throw his laptop out of the window. That’s when he knew it was time to stop. Enough otome game for the day…

Mingjue was going to get in bed, and have a nice long rest. It wasn’t until he got to bed he looked at the time. It was nearly 3AM and Mingjue wanted to die of shame. He needed a break from the game, he really did. This was going too far. He got in bed and promised himself that tomorrow he would not open the game, he wouldn’t even think of it or Art Guy. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t think of it right now. Yes, he was definitely getting in too deep. 

Mingjue was forcefully awoken from his slumber by his phone. Before he even looked at who was calling him, he checked the time. It was 7AM. What idiot calls him this early? Nobody he knew was even up this early. 

The idiot was Huaisang. Mingjue’s heart stopped for a minute. If Huaisang was calling him this early something must be up, Huaisang never woke up before ten. 

“Dage~”, Huaisang whined dramatically, the way only his brother could do. 

“Huaisang, what’s wrong?” Mingjue asked.

“Dage, you need to help me”, Huaisang whined. “It’s urgent” 

“Huaisang, tell me what’s wrong you’re worrying me” 

“Promise you won’t get mad at me first”, Huaisang mumbled. 

“Huaisang-” Mingjue grumbled, but then just sighed and promised. 

Huaisang hesitated for a bit. “I forgot my backpack at home and there’s a super important assignment inside it that I need to hand in this afternoon”, he mumbled and Mingjue immediately felt himself get annoyed. “I have class all morning so I can’t come pick it up, could you please, please, please, come bring it to my dorm.” 

Mingjue would like to say this was the first time Huaisang had forgotten his backpack at home but, sadly, it wasn’t. Mingjue couldn't even count the amount of times Huaisang has forgotten it on two hands. This was the first time it took him an entire week to notice, though. He sighed deeply, trying his best not to sound as annoyed as he was. 

“Is it in your room?” Mingjue asked, “I should be able to get it to you around lunchtime.” Huaisang immediately let out a sigh of relief and started thanking his brother. “How did it take you this long to notice, though?” Mingjue couldn’t help but ask. 

“I didn’t need it”, Huaisang stuttered.

“You didn’t need your backpack, full of school equipment, for over a week?” 

“I have to go to class”, Huaisang said quickly, “I’ll send you the address of my dorm again later. Thank you, dage!” Mingjue received the address and directions soon after Huaisang ended the call. 

Too annoyed by his brother’s stupidity to sleep, Mingjue decided to just get up and take his time getting ready. He had three more hours to fill before he had to leave. Looking in the mirror, he needed his time to get ready. He hadn’t shaved since Huaisang left and his hair resembled a bird’s nest.

After a thorough shower, a big breakfast and some exercises for his still healing foot, Mingjue was on his way to Huaisang’s university. He had forgotten how horrible public transport was, his hurt foot only making the two hour journey that more annoying, but seeing his brother again would be worth it. He had only seen him a week ago, but he just couldn’t help but miss the brat more than usual now that he was stuck at home alone. 

Huaisang’s directions were great, until he actually arrived on campus. This place was a maze and Huaisang’s directions were incredibly confusing, it didn’t take Mingjue long to get lost, at the moment he couldn’t even find his way back to somewhere the directions actually took him. With a deep sigh he gave up on even trying anymore and decided to just ask someone for help. 

But that was easier said than done, most people either shied away from the giant man asking them for help, or just told him they had to get to class and bolted, some girl even just said “I have a boyfriend” the second he approached her. 

“Good for you”, Mingjue replied but before he could even ask her for directions she had gotten up and left. This was hopeless, was he that intimidating? He had no choice but to keep trying until Huaisang got out of class, though. 

After two more people who just plain ignored him, and one who just told him no, he finally found someone who didn’t seem to think Mingjue was out to murder or date them. This one actually approached him, tapping him on the shoulder softly.

“Do you need some help?” A gentle, melodic voice asked. Mingjue couldn’t help but thank the gods as he turned around.

“Yes, please”, he replied and then completely lost all ability to speak. Right in front of him was Art Guy from Huaisang’s game. Was he hallucinating? Had the sun gotten him so dehydrated he was now imagining hot men? But, this man had tapped him on the shoulder, he had to be real! Or had he hallucinated that too? In his slight panic, he completely missed the hot stranger asking him something. 

“Are you okay? Here, have some water it’s quite hot today”, Art Guy pressed a bottle of water in Mingjue’s hands and ushered him to drink something. Yes, Mingjue needed a moment to get his thoughts in order. 

“Thank you”, Mingjue muttered, slightly ashamed of his reaction. “Could you maybe tell me how to get to this building? My brother forgot something at home over the weekend and asked me to drop it off”

Luckily Art Guy didn’t seem too bothered by Mingjue’s completely shocked reaction and just beamed at him. “You’re lucky, I’m going to there right now.” Mingjue was still trying to process the beautiful smile blinding him only seconds ago, to realise the man wanted him to follow him. With a deep breath he shook himself out of it, trying to calm his heart that was beating out of control, and followed the handsome stranger. 

They walked in silence for a while, Mingjue trying to figure out a reason for this entire situation, but he couldn’t really come up with anything, his brain to caught up in trying to take in the absolutely stunning human being walking next to him. 

“My brother lives in the same building as yours”, Art Guy suddenly said, “He might even know your brother, he seems to be on the same floor.”

“What’s his name?” Mingjue asked, “Maybe Huaisang has mentioned him, he usually has quite some dorm gossip whenever we speak”

Art Guy laughed. The sound did something to Mingjue’s heart and he couldn’t help but smile. It was a sound Mingjue wouldn’t mind hearing more often. 

“I doubt he will have any gossip about my brother. Wangji is quite the model student.” Art Guy said. “I’m Lan Xichen, by the way” Art Guy, Xichen, threw him another bright smile, after he introduced himself and maybe Mingjue’s heart stopped for a moment. Mingjue had no idea what was happening, no man had ever had such influence on him this fast. 

“Nie Mingjue,” Mingjue hummed, “Huaisang might have mentioned him” Mingjue was almost sure he had, but he couldn’t exactly remember in what context. Huaisang told him so much gossip about so many people, it was only normal Mingjue couldn’t remember. 

“We’re almost there”, Xichen said, “Wangji and I have lunch together every Monday, I got lost on my way to his dorm every single time in the beginning”

Mingjue felt his cheeks heat up a bit, but it was nice to know he wasn’t stupid for getting lost. “Huaisang gave me directions, but this place… Everything looks the same I couldn’t figure out where to go”

Xichen laughed again. “I know, I know exactly how you feel, and when you ask for help everyone looks at you like you’re insane!”

“I was starting to think something was wrong with me”, Mingjue chuckled, “Thankfully you found me!” 

“I immediately recognized the signs”, Xichen said, “I knew I had to help!”

“I’m glad you did, otherwise I’d still be begging people to help me”

Xichen smiled at him and then motioned to a building. “I have safely brought you to your destination!” They walked inside, only to be stopped by someone immediately. 

The person in front of them looked at Mingjue with a slight frown on his face for a moment before turning to Xichen. “Brother”, he greeted Xichen. 

“Wangji”, Xichen beamed, “Sorry I’m a bit late, I couldn’t help but help Mingjue here find the way here too! We got a bit distracted chatting and I took a wrong turn somewhere” They did? Mingjue hadn’t even noticed, which wasn’t that surprising as he didn’t know the place at all. Wangji nodded at Mingjue and then turned to his brother again. 

“Shall we go then? If we are late they might give our table to someone else”, Wangji asked his brother, and before Mingjue knew Xichen was saying his goodbyes, quickly pointing him towards Huaisang’s hallway before disappearing with his brother. 

Mingjue tried to say goodbye as well, but everything went so fast and before he even got the chance to say thank Xichen properly for helping him, Wangji had already pulled his brother towards the doors again. Mingjue should have asked for his number… Not that there had been a good time, but he should’ve created a good moment to asked. 

Trying not to sulk about it too much, Mingjue made his way to where Huaisang’s dorm was. He had barely knocked on the door when it swung open already.

“Dage~!” Huaisang yelled, pulling him inside and immediately pulling his backpack from his brother’s shoulders. “Did you find your way here easily? I guess you did as you didn’t call me for more directions”

“Actually”, Mingjue huffed, “Your directions were shit, I had to ask someone here for help” 

Huaisang looked at him with a shy grin for a moment, before shrugging and starting to rummage through his backpack. “But you found it!”

“I did… And about that, Huaisang” Huaisang’s eyes got big at his brother’s tone. He knew something was coming that his brother wasn’t too happy about. “How come I bumped into one of your video game characters. I almost thought I was hallucinating!” 

“You didn’t tell him?” Huaisang’s roommate asked, Mingjue hadn’t even noticed he was there too. Huaisang just laughed nervously and hid himself behind his fan as he always did when nervous. 

“Tell me what?” Mingjue grumbled. 

Huaisang’s roommate turned around in his chair, Mingjue nearly cringed at the way he was sitting, that position couldn’t be comfortable. “We based our character designs on people we know! My brother is in it, my sister’s annoying peacock boyfriend, my boyfriend’s brother and his best friend, my best friend…” 

Mingjue turned to his brother again, slightly annoyed. “And you didn’t think I should know?” 

Huaisang shrugged. “We live two hours away, it’s not like the chance was big you would ever bump into them!”

Mingjue was about to open his mouth again but Huaisang was already pulling him back outside. “Dage, stop worrying about it, now you know! Let's go eat, I’m hungry and you don’t want to spend the precious time you have with your brother being angry at him, do you?” 

Mingjue just sighed and wrapped an arm around his brother. He was right, it wasn’t like it was something that could’ve harmed him. It was just weird bumping into someone he’d been actively trying to date in some game all weekend. Mingjue couldn’t help but be curious, though.

“Which one is he?” Mingjue asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Xichen, is he the brother, the sister’s boyfriend, the boyfriend’s brother…?”

Huaisang grinned at his brother, softly bumping his shoulder against him. Mingjue stopped the teasing words that were about to leave Huaisangs mouth with a glare. “The boyfriend’s brother.” Huaisang answered instead. “And if you would like to know, I’m pretty sure he’s into men, maybe I could even set up a date!” 

“Nie Huaisang!” Mingjue grumbled, pushing his brother away. He didn’t need his brother setting up dates for him! He could do that perfectly fine himself! If only he could meet Xichen again…