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chahnniesroom · 3 months

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for richer, for poorer

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: gift giving has always been something you've agonised over. for chan, just having you in his life is enough.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: insecurities (especially related to finances), feeling anxious, hurt/comfort

a/n: i know it’s still a long time until october, but i didn't write it in time to fit as like a holiday related fic. formatted this on my phone bc i'm lazy so please let me know if anything looks weird!

bonus: minho's reaction to his gift (included as a reblog of this post)

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

Gift giving has always been something that you agonised over. You wanted so desperately to get something meaningful and special that nothing you ended up getting seemed special enough.

So when Felix had proposed throwing both Chan and Minho a party for their birthdays, you were more than happy to help plan. You could see that Chan had hesitated when Felix had told them about it, but he had ultimately agreed when he saw the way Minho had seemed to perk up at the idea.

It wouldn’t be anything too big, Felix promised, just inviting some close friends to have dinner and hang out. It slowly balloons into more than a simple dinner, but the opportunities for the members to have their friends gather are so rare that you swallow your concerns.

The night of, you can’t help feeling a bit nervous. You recognise almost everyone, but that's the part that scares you - you've only seen most of these people through your phone screen before. You know Chan and Minho have a lot of idol friends, but you didn't realise there would be so many at the party. You had discussed the guest list with Felix briefly, but your concern had been about the number of guests and not who they actually were. Now you’re starting to regret it, you aren’t mentally prepared to be face to face with so many celebrities.

The time passes surprisingly quickly with people trickling in as the night goes on. Dinner is casual, you’ve helped to cook a number of dishes and takeout was ordered to fill the rest of the counter. There isn’t enough proper seating so everyone is spread throughout the kitchen and living room.

You spend most of the time just wandering through and making sure that there’s no shortage of drinks, appetizers, and that the empty dishes or cups are cleared away. Of course, you greet everybody as they arrive and thank them for coming, but it’s hard not to be intimidated by all the famous faces.

Eventually Changbin drags the birthday boys to the living room, standing them in front of the TV to open gifts. Everyone else either crams themselves onto the couches, sits on the floor, or loiters closer to the doors.

Chan insists that he open presents at the same time as Minho instead of one at a time like Jisung suggests. Someone pushes a couple of matching boxes into their hands and steps away.

It's almost comical how different they open them. Chan takes his time, carefully pulling apart the ribbon that's wrapped around the box, sliding the lid off and putting it to the side, then slowly peeling aside the tissue paper. Minho on the other hand, manages to pull the ribbon off the box without untying it and flips the box to shake off the lid and reveal the contents.

They're complementary hoodies in the casual and oversized fit that the boys usually go for. You recognize the brand, have seen the members wear it on more than one occasion, and know that they most likely cost the same as your monthly salary.

The next gifts seem fairly innocuous, a beanie for Chan and a baseball cap for Minho, but you know their pieces often go for over a million won, more than you’ve ever spent on a single clothing item.

It continues on like this, the boys receiving items like music equipment, alcohol, and sunglasses. It makes you swallow hard when you think of your own, mostly handmade gift.

Maybe the worst part is that nobody else at the party even blinks an eye at it. You can’t blame them, it’s the nature of their occupation that has gotten them desensitised to being surrounded by luxury and it’s not like they can’t afford to indulge in getting more expensive things.

When you look down, wanting to stop staring at the pile of opened gifts, you see that you've partially crushed the packaging of your own gift. It already looked shabby enough, it was obvious you had wrapped it yourself and the paper you used was from the supermarket, but now it was even worse.

When you try to smooth out the crinkles, your shaky fingers somehow make it ruin it more. You bite your lip, hard, then stop, self conscious about your appearance around all these idols.

It suddenly feels cramped and too warm, sweat starting to gather on your forehead and back. The room starts to spin slightly and you become overly aware of your heart beating in your chest.

A burst of laughter from the crowd spooks you, pulling you out of your head. You use the opportunity to get to your feet and excuse yourself. You slip away as quietly as you can and breathe a sigh of relief when you make it into Chan's room without anyone following you.

You don’t bother to turn on the lights, not wanting anyone to check up on you, and sit on the ground with your back against Chan’s bed. With the door closed, the noise from the party is muffled and it’s significantly colder in this area of the dorm. You press your hands to your face and take a few deep breaths to try and calm your heart rate.

You don’t know what’s wrong with you because you know you shouldn’t feel like his. You had been looking forward to watching Chan and Minho open their gifts, you had spent a lot of time preparing them and you had felt confident that they would enjoy them.

Well, until you saw everything else that they received.

Now your ideas just seemed silly. You feel humiliated at the thought of everybody seeing the obviously cheap gifts and even worse when you consider how ashamed Chan might be for others to know that you were his partner.

Although you were working full-time at the moment, you had only graduated from university last year and your student debt was an ever present weight on your shoulders that you tried your best to hide. Everything you had went to paying it back and checking in bi-weekly to see the number get smaller and smaller was the only thing that made you feel better.

Chan knew that you often worried about money. You had been mortified the first time that he had walked in on you trying to organise your finances for the next few months. He had glanced over your shoulder before you had even realised he was in the room and all the red cells showing where you were in a deficit were hard to miss.

It had been early on in your relationship and the dates that the two of you had been on as well as a couple unforeseen events had meant that you had been spending way more than what you had anticipated. Of course, Chan had treated you on a number of occasions, but you refused sometimes because you felt guilty every time he offered to pay, especially since it had been only a couple years after his debut.

He had been more than understanding, but you had been so embarrassed and caught off guard that you couldn't stop the tears from streaking down your face. Since then, Chan and the members had never done anything to make you feel like they pitied you or thought any less of you for your financial situation, in fact they did the opposite.

When you had first started visiting the dorms, opening the food delivery apps was like a reflex for all of the boys once it was dinnertime. You were always hesitant to choose anything and felt even worse by the nonchalant way that they covered the costs each time. Even though you knew they didn’t think anything of it, you couldn’t help but feel like you were taking advantage of their hospitality.

Somehow they caught on to your reluctance to buy food and now it's tradition that you cook for them when you come over, enough so that they keep the kitchen stocked with more than ramen, chicken breasts, and protein powder.

In particular, Minho absolutely loved your cooking and had needled you many times on sharing how you made it. You had always denied him though, saying that you didn't use exact measurements and came up with things on the fly. That’s why for his gift, you had taken the time to create a recipe book, complete with pictures for each step and modifications that he could make based on the ingredients he had.

You had spent a few months thinking about what to give Chan. He was harder to shop for since you knew he wasn't overly fond of celebrating his birthday and didn’t want you to spend money on him, but was always touched when you got him something. Usually, you tried to do something he was more likely to accept.

Last year, you had organised with the company to give Chan a day off and had taken him out to a movie. It was a pretty standard date, but the two of you rarely had the opportunity to go out together and you knew Chan had resigned himself to watching the movie when it was released online instead of going to the theatres like he had hoped to. Having to spend a few days trying to sort out all the logistics of secretly rearranging Chan’s schedule had been more than worth it with the way that his face had lit up when you had told him about what you had planned.

You don't know how long you sit alone, but every time that you tell yourself to get up and rejoin the party, it feels impossible to move.

“Hey,” Chan's voice is cautious, but you startle anyway, scrambling to stand up. Stuck in your thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed him entering the room. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just needed some air, it was getting kind of stuffy in there,” you explain. “I didn't think you'd notice.”

“Of course I noticed. You were there one second and gone the next, I didn't know what happened.”

“It’s nothing.” You avoid Chan’s gaze, not wanting to see the concern that shines in his eyes.

Chan steps closer, then reaches out and tangles your fingers together, using your connection to pull the two of you to sit on the bed.

“Y/n, baby,” he says softly. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in here.” He leans forward until the side of his head bumps into yours.

“It’s-”

“Don’t say it’s not important,” he warns. “It’s important to you and that makes it important to me, okay?”

“Uhm,” you pause for a moment, unsure of how you want to word your thoughts. You trust Chan, but it still feels scary being vulnerable. “I guess, I was just feeling… Insecure.”

“Insecure?” Chan tilts his head slightly. “About what?”

“Everyone-” you laugh slightly, embarrassed. “Everyone gave you guys such nice gifts, I feel like mine don’t even compare.”

“Y/n, you know I don’t care about that kind of thing. If I had the choice, nobody would be giving me gifts at all. Just having you in my life is enough.” Chan’s voice is painfully sincere.

“I know you don't mind. It just- It feels bad that I can't give you something nice like they can. It's dumb, I know, but I can't help it.”

“I can open it here, away from everyone else if you want,” Chan offers. “Or you don't even have to give it to me today, you can save it until you feel better. Or don't give it to me at all, it's all okay.”

“No no, I want you to have it,” you say immediately. Before you can think better of it, you reach down and retrieve the gift from where you left it on the floor.

“Whatever makes you feel comfortable,” Chan reassures you.

“This is fine,” you decide. “Just the two of us."

“Okay.”

“It’s not designer,” you say suddenly, fiddling with the ribbon that keeps the two packages together. Both of you ignore the fact that you’re just stalling at this point.

“I don’t need any more clothes, I barely wear everything I own now,” Chan jokes.

“Really, you might not like it,” you warn.

“Baby, when have I ever disliked anything that you’ve gotten for me?” Chan drops the teasing tone. You think for a moment.

“When you asked me to order noodles for you and I accidentally got you the spicy version and it made you cry?”

“Did I say that I didn’t like them?”

“No, you ate it all even though I warned you that it would make your stomach hurt for the next couple of days,” you say, smiling faintly at the memory.

You had gotten yourself the same dish and had found it to be bearable, while Chan’s face had turned bright red after the first bite. You had offered a few times to get him a non-spicy version so that he could enjoy himself, but he had been determined to finish, soaking his shirt and beanie with how much he had sweated. He hadn’t even been able to continue carrying a conversation with you, too busy trying to suck in air to cool his mouth.

It had been even funnier for you the next day, receiving multiple texts from Chan about his stomach hurting and having to continually pause dance practice to go to the bathroom.

“The pain was worth it,” Chan insists. “I'm actually convinced that I'll like anything you give me. Now come on, let me open my gifts!”

You hand over the gift and watch as he pulls away the ribbon to separate the boxes and peels away the tape on the first package. His brow is furrowed in concentration as he tries not to rip the wrapping paper.

This gift was more neutral, a set that contained a wallet and cardholder, both in black. Although Chan hadn’t complained at all, the wallet he had been using was from years ago and the synthetic material was starting to crack and flake away at the edges.

He looks delighted, examining it briefly before pulling out his old wallet and transferring all his cards and cash into this new one. Although it’s not a name brand, you had purchased it at a small shop specialising in handcrafted genuine leather goods at a surprisingly affordable price. It was good quality and suited the simplicity that Chan preferred.

“It's just what I needed,” he says, sounding pleased. “You pay so much attention.”

“I'm glad you like it,” you say, feeling relieved even though you had been pretty sure that he would be happy with it.

The unease comes back when he turns his attention to the second gift. Once again, he puts in effort to gently unwrap it, revealing an old chocolate box that you had repurposed from one of your dates.

You’ve always been on the more sentimental side and had saved it, wanting to remember the evening that Chan had taken you out and the two of you had spent 20 minutes in the shop, meticulously picking out the flavours that you wanted to try. The box is made of a surprisingly durable material and is the perfect size for this gift. You’ve painted over it too, concealing the original design.

Chan turns it around in his hands curiously, before sliding the lid up. You turn away to stare at your hands, overwhelmed by nervousness.

You already know what’s inside. It’s a deck of cards that you’ve transformed, with 52 things I love about you inscribed on one of the jokers. On the flip side, you’ve painted a picture of you and Chan smiling widely with your cheeks pressed together. It’s his favourite, one he always tells you would be permanently on his lock screen if he wasn’t an idol.

The rest of the cards are decorated similarly, a small drawing or painting on one side with the things, people, and places that Chan loves on one side, and something that you love about Chan on the other. The last joker is the only one that's different, you've treated it as a card and have a small message written on.

You had been so excited when you had thought of the idea, even though it was almost embarrassingly cheesy. Chan was often hard on himself, overly critical, and sometimes insecure. You tried your best to reassure him that he was doing well, both in his career and personal life, but you weren’t always able to be with him to do it in person.

As time goes by, your dread just continues to build, but you don't dare look up, not wanting to see Chan's reaction. Based on the silence, he’s clearly not thrilled with the silly idea that you had gone with. You can almost imagine his expression, jaw clenched and lips pressed together as he tries to think of what he can say to let you down easy.

Finally, you can't take it any longer and you lean forward, reaching out to grab at the cards that he's still reading though.

“I'm sorry, it's stupid, I know,” you say quickly. “You can tell me that you hate it, it's okay. I don't know what I was thinking, but just- give me more time, I'll get you something else, something nicer-”

It catches Chan off guard, and instead of successfully taking the cards away, you grapple with them for a second before they slip between both of your hands, scattering across the floor like confetti.

You instantly drop to your knees, scrabbling to scoop them up like the most awful game of 52 pick up that you've ever played in your life. To your horror, the task gets even more difficult as tears start to well up in your eyes.

“Y/n-” Chan says gently, reaching out and taking your wrists in his hands to stop your frantic movements. “Come here.”

You resist for a moment, but he pulls you into his arms, cradling your head so your face is resting on his shoulder. The tears leaking from your eyes soak into the fabric and you sniffle softly.

“I'm sorry,” you say, voice partially muffled. “I'm a mess.”

In response, Chan pulls back slightly and when you don't turn towards him, he taps a finger against your cheek until you face him. Your eyes widen when you notice that he also has tear tracks streaking down his face.

“What-”

“It's okay, I'm a mess too. I should have said it sooner,” he says, voice low and gravelly. Still in his embrace, you can feel the rumble of it in his chest. “I love it. I was overwhelmed, I wanted to say something but you left me speechless.”

“Don't just say it-”

“I've never had a gift so thoughtful, Y/n,” Chan says earnestly. “How could you think this was stupid? You must have spent hours and hours on it and I really appreciate it. It’s just- is this really what you think of me?”

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“Do you really love that-” Chan picks up the closest card to him and flips it so that he can read the message. “That I snore? Y/n, why do you even have this in the list?”

“Yes, snoring was one thing and it's because with everything, there’s always a reason to love it. It's not that I love that you snore, but with your insomnia, hearing you snore is a relief because it means you're sleeping, that you're resting. Even with your insomnia, I know you're busy thinking of every little way you can make things just right for you and the members. It's because you care so much, how could I not love these parts of you?”

“You- you really love all these little things?”

“Of course I do,” you say in a hushed voice. “Of course. When I was making these, I couldn't fit it all. I love everything about you, Chan.”

This time, it's Chan that breaks eye contact, shaking his head as if in disbelief.

“I don't know what I did to deserve you.”

“It's not about deserving. You didn't have to do anything, that's the whole point. I love you just as you are.”

“You know that's how I feel about you, right?”

“Chan-”

“Even if you never got me anything ever again, I wouldn't love you any less. You being in my life, by my side, that's the greatest gift you could ever give.”

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

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harrysfolklore · 2 months

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Harry Styles Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED

this was posted on my patreon a few months ago, enjoy ! MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

"Hi I'm Harry Styles and this is the Wired Autocomplete Interview."

Harry introduced himself to the camera and you smiled, you were currently at WIRED Studios for Harry's long awaited autocomplete interview that he finally agreed to do thanks to yours and his fans persistence.

You were sitting behind the camera with the rest of the crew, watching him with a small smile.

A crew member passed the first board to him, he looked at it confusedly for a minute before speaking.

"Okay so. I'm answering what I think or what?"

Everyone in the studio laughed and the director quickly explained to him how the game worked once again, you rolled your eyes with affection and he sent a wink your way.

"Alright, how is Harry Styles?" he said after taking the little piece of paper off the board, "I'm good, I'm really enjoying being home in London, I was away for a while on tour and I'm going to stay here for a bit so that's exciting."

"How did Harry Styles," he paused to rip the next paper and reveal the rest of the question, "Become famous? Well, when I was sixteen years old I auditioned for a singing show called The X Factor, I got put in a band with four lads and we didn't win but we put out a song called What Makes You Beautiful," he smiled for a second, "that one put us on the map, we released a bunch of albums and now I'm here."

"How did Harry Styles meet his wife?" at this, he turned his gaze to you to give you a big smile, you immediately mirrored his and nodded your head, signaling that you were okay with him talking about it.

"We could say that it was basically a blind date, we had a friend in common who thought we would be a good match and set us up, we had an amazing first date but then I had to travel to Los Angeles for work so we couldn't really see each other after that but once I was back in London we hung out all the time, and now we're married."

He smiled at you again and you couldn't help but feel your heart melt, you had been married for 6 months now but the married life was still new for the both of you, and everything he called you his wife butterflies made its way to your stomach.

"How is Harry Styles still alive?" his eyes widened in surprise and he looked around the room, making a few present laugh, "Um, that's a weird thing to search on the internet, but I guess, I don't know if I can answer that, I don't think anyone can answer that we're just lucky to still be around and enjoy life."

He gave the camera one of his infamous "frog smiles" and handed the board to a crew member who was ready with the next one.

"Does Harry Styles have tattoos?" he revealed the first question of the new board, "Yes, he does. I have a lot of tattoos actually, they're basically all over my body. The most recent one is right here," he pointed at the back of his right arm, "It's my wedding date, actually, everyone might call me a sap but I was reserving this arm for tattoos about my wife a and future kids, so I guess it's finally time to fill it."

It was safe to say that fans watching at home and everyone in the studio absolutely melted, especially you.

"Does Harry Styles have siblings? I do I have a sister, she's older than me and her name is Gemma. A lot of people claim she's cooler than me for some reason but I don't thing that's true," he shrugged and revealed the next question, "Does Harry Styles speak Italian? I would like to think that I do, I spend a lot of time there and I've learned how to communicate pretty decently."

"Is Harry Styles an actor?" he said after peeling the first sticker of the new board, "He tries to be an actor that's for sure," he laughed and everyone in the room did as well, "I mean, I've been in a couple of movies, I've auditioned for a bunch of roles and my agent has sent me scripts to go through," he shrugged "So I can say that makes me an actor."

"Is Harry Styles american?" he shook his head at that one, "He is not! He's Britain, born and raised okay? He's very proud of it."

"What's Harry Styles BeReal? I don't have a BeReal, but if I did I wouldn't tell you," he pointed to the camera jokingly, "What are Harry Styles fans called? I think they are referred to as Harries, but I don't like to speak on behalf of them, you should ask them."

"What was Harry Styles first song? My first song was Sign Of The Times, I wrote it with friends that I love, and that is my wife's favorite song I've ever written, right love?"

"That's correct." you said from your spot, pretty audible so you know it would make it to the final cut of the interview.

"What are Harry Styles songs about?" he peeled the last sticker of the board, "They're about a lot of things, life, friends, love, my wife," he shrugged, "I even have one about the female orgasm."

You quietly giggled, knowing that his fans would go crazy over that last sentence.

"Did Harry Styles go to college? He did not, he became a singer."

"Did Harry Styles win a Grammy? He somehow won Album Of The Year last year, which is absolutely insane if you ask him."

"Did Harry Styles finish high school? Oh I'm glad the internet asks," he laughed, "Contrary to popular belief I did finish high school, I completed my GCES and I graduated, I don't know why there's a rumor there that I didn't finish high school tho."

"Anyway, last one!" he comically threw the board to the floor and grabbed the final board a crew member was handling him, "Who is Harry Styles best friend? Um, I have a ton of best friends. Jeff who's also my manager, Mitch who plays in my band, my childhood best friend's name is Johnny, so yeah, I'm very lucky in the friends department, I love my friends."

"Who does Harry Styles look like? My mom, I would say. A lot of people point out that we have the same smile," he shrugged, "My mom is a beautiful woman so I'm flattered."

"Who did Harry Styles write Love Of My Life about? My wife and London."

"And final question," he slowly peeled off the sticker for dramatic effect, "Who does Harry Styles love? Okay, that's cute that people search for that on the internet, um, I love my family and friends, I love my wife that's for sure, I love making music and performing," he listed with his fingers, "And love love, yeah, love is great."

He smiled to the camera and put the board aside to say his goodbyes.

"I thought my Google searches were much more appropriate that I expected. I was fun to see what people wonder about me, so yeah thank you WIRED for having me."

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misc-obeyme · 8 days

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cc. your tags on the boudoir post. MAMMON recieving an album of those photos. i'd love to hear your thoughts on his reaction (and everyone else's, if you're feeling particularly inspired?)

Ah, Daisy, my dear, thank you for asking!

I apologize for this late response, but I knew I was gonna be getting wordy with this one. Because I looove the boudoir photos idea in general and OH MAN just thinking about all their reactions is making me crazy lol. I was going to just do my regular sort of response, but this turned into full on headcanons oops.

So just in case anyone missed it, here is the original post!

My thoughts change a little bit depending on whether MC is present when the characters receive the pictures, so I included both! I only did the bros but I might be willing to do the rest upon request!

the brothers react to MC giving them an album of boudoir photos

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: suggestive but that's about it, nothing explicit

Lucifer

When you're with him, Lucifer is calm and courteous, but with a flare of arrogance. Of course you would give him such a special gift. It's only natural that you would trust such intimacies to him.

He asks you if you're trying to tell him something. Has he perhaps been neglecting you, MC? Did you give him this so that he wouldn't be able to help himself? He's onto you.

No matter your reason, he can't look through too many of the pictures before wanting the real thing that's sitting right next to him. Tell him you still have some of that lingerie in your possession. Especially if you happen to have some in his colors.

If you aren't with him, he's going to be a lot less arrogant in general. He will find you later, make no mistake. But he's honestly so touched by your gift that he spends a lot of time looking through the album, simply admiring you.

Mammon

Mammon is freaking out no matter where you are the time. If you're with him, it's definitely a lot worse. Blushing profusely. Opens the album then slams it shut because he can't handle looking at it for very long.

You can't help but giggle at his reaction and then it's all stop laughin' at him MC!! You'll need to take his hands or maybe kiss his cheek, let him know that you genuinely just wanted to give him a nice gift, you aren't trying to tease him or anything.

Ask him if he likes it. You'll get a serious response. Calms down enough to say 'course he likes it. Likes it so much, he suddenly can't keep his hands off you.

If you aren't with him at the time, he buries it under his pillow or otherwise hides it because this is now one of his treasures and nobody gets to see it but him!

Leviathan

Levi is another one who'd be a blushing mess no matter what, but if you're there at the time, he might retreat to his room and not let you in. He needs that barrier between you because if he sees you right now, his heart will explode.

He'll let you back in eventually, but it might be a minute. He needs to calm down. Are you trying to kill him, MC?! Even when he does let you in, he can't look at you directly. He's probably covering his face with his hands.

Reassure him that you gave these photos to him because you trust him with them. They're personal, intimate, and you want him to be close to you. He's going to calm down the more you talk to him. Pull his hands away from his face and when he sees the sincerity in your eyes, it flips a switch. Might even slip into demon form just to wrap his tail around you possessively.

If you're not with him at the time, he's going to need to take care of that raging boner of his right away. He won't be able to focus on anything else until he does. He's so embarrassed, he has to watch several episodes of Ruri Hana to recalibrate.

Satan

He will try to keep his expression unreadable. He's not having any over the top reactions, but as he flips through the photos, he keeps getting redder and redder. You're sitting right next to him, how can he not react? At some point, he has to close the album because he feels like he's looking at something he shouldn't.

Satan is quiet about how flustered he is, but he's having a hard time looking at you. He tries to say something and incomprehensible lines about how beautiful you are fall from his lips. He sounds like a broken record of spoken word poetry or perhaps a very drunk beat poet.

Recovers himself after a minute. As soon as he's composed, you're in his arms. You knew what this would do to him, didn't you, MC? You'll find yourself pressed up against the nearest wall in moments.

If you're not with him, Satan will tuck your album into a stack of his other books. He thinks it's well hidden there - in plain sight. But he's hyper aware of it. Keeps coming back to look at it. Ends up having to put it on the bottom of a stack behind a different stack to make it more difficult to get to.

Asmodeus

Thrilled. Absolutely thrilled in every way. Oh, wow, MC, you look amazing. He's breathless. He's entranced. He's even blushing because he knows what it means that you've given these to him. He's so in love with you, he can't stand it.

Asks you about everything you may be wearing. Comments on the skill of the photographer. Tells you that next time, you should do one together. He has so many ideas. He wants to do one where all you're wearing is jewelry - bright and sparkling, just like your soul.

Covers you in kisses. He's not shy about how this is making him feel, how much he wants you. He just wants to see your beautiful figure here and now in real life, MC! Won't you let him worship you?

If you're not with him, he will find you immediately so he can say all of the things he needs to say in that moment. You can't leave him alone with all these feelings, both physical and emotional. He brings them all to you without hesitating.

Beelzebub

It might take him a minute to understand exactly what he's looking at, mostly because he's never even heard of this. He doesn't know what a boudoir photo shoot is, so you might have to explain it to him. Once he understands, he starts lightly blushing as he looks through them. His expression is serious because he's beginning to see just how special this is.

Honestly surprised that you would give him something so intimate. He's touched. He's going to hug it to himself and look at you with tears in his eyes because he can't believe how lucky he is.

Give him another couple minutes to look through them and then he's having different feelings. He's not sure if he can hold back, MC. Tell him it's okay, that you don't want him to, and you'll find yourself on your back on his bed in zero seconds flat. You're quickly reminded why he's the Avatar of Gluttony.

If you're not with him at the time, he will figure things out on his own, though he'll have a plethora of questions for you later. He keeps it close to him at all times until you answer them because he knows one thing for sure - he doesn't want anyone else seeing these.

Belphegor

Oh, he sees what you're playing at. Trying to fluster him, are you, MC? Trying to rile him up? Are you sure you can handle him when you do that? He's so wound up by the gift he can't act normal about it. He's actually very touched by it, but he's not sure how to deal with the feelings, so he comes on too strong.

You laugh because to you, this is expected. You understand that this is Belphie's way of dealing with his own shyness. You respond by meeting him with just as much intensity. It's all kisses and touching and fumbling in the dark.

It's only later, when both of you are calm, when you're nestled in his arms, that he admits to you how much it means to him. That he tells you how he'll cherish the album you gave him. That he says he's stunned by how gorgeous you are, even more brilliant that the stars in the sky.

If you aren't with him at the time, you'll be dealing with a petulant but horny demon later on. He's going to be annoyed at you for leaving it for him and then not being there when it inevitably turns him on. Just as possessive as his brothers, he hides it in the attic where no one is likely to find it.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

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heartfullofleeches · 6 months

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Sooo uh is it too early to ask for nsfw hcs of carnis?

(I think enough time has passed... Mainly because I've finally got enough written)

Carnis - Yan Lab Experiment NSFW Hcs

• As mentioned in previous posts, Carnis has yet to experience a lot in the human world - sexual urges being yet another. As their bond with Reader grows that starts to change. Their body feels.. strange when their caretaker does certain things. Calls them cute pet names, strokes their ears or face - even just a smile gets their stomach twisted into knots and tension between their legs. It feels good to touch that area, but so wrong to them at the same time. They've always been told their body is just a tool for others - they shouldn't get to feel this way, especially when all they can think about is Reader's hands in place of theirs. It's dirty - wrong, but it feels so good.

They start to wonder if Reader has these same desire. The thought of helping them through it makes them happy.

• Carnis priorities your satisfaction over all, and more importantly theirs. They feel as though they aren't worth the effort and sees your pleasure as their own. With how inexperienced they are, you'll have to teach them a thing or two, but Carnis is willing to do whatever they can to make you happy. Their preferred method is laying back in bed and allowing you to ride their tongue/cock to your heart's content. They like if you use their mouth more since they wouldn't be able to last long inside you and feels guilty if they finish before you.

• Huge oral fixation + very touchy/clingy, but afraid to do both. Wants to touch and lick all over you, but restrains themselves unless given the command. Could spend hours with their head between your legs and still want for longer. If you give them permission to touch you, Carnis' hands will not leave your body. Gropes at your chest, thighs, and whatever you'll allow. Develops a habit of doing this in their sleep which they'll be none the wiser to unless mentioned. You'll know when they're about to cum when they lock fingers with yours or push through their anxiousness to kiss you without asking first.

This fixation works in reverse as well. Despite their years of testing, Carnis' body is very sensitive to certain touches. Kissing on their neck, chest or thighs makes them putty in your hands. Their nipples are especially tender and gripping their horns while they're going down on you will make them see stars. Liked being bitten whether it's enough to draw blood or just a little love bite. Avoids looking in mirrors if you leave hickies because the sight alone gets them aroused.

• Becomes increasingly vocal as they get more comfortable in bed. At first it's tiny whimpers and pants for more, but as they get used to things and you they can't keep their mouth shut. Begs to be touched more, for you to never leave them. Declares their love for you until their voice is raw. If your walls are thin might be best to invest in some sound proofing if you don't want noise complaints from neighbors.

• Sucker for praise and affection. Just wants to be your good boy/pet and to know you really mean it when you say it. Head pats, cutesy pet names, maybe a pretty collar or outfit if you're feeling generous. Carnis would wear anything you threw at them if you said they looked absolutely adorable in it.

• Another way Carnis gets over their aversion to self pleasure is by cumming in the meals they make for you. Long as it can benefit you, Carnis push through most things even the self hatred and guilt of watching you undress or sniffing your clothes and touching themselves because of it. If you mention the food being good, it'll clear them of all negative thoughts towards masturbating and lead to more dishes made with the same special ingredient. Cums on your pillows or clothes as a way to mark you as theirs, but only when they're about to wash them afterwards.

• If you have a dildo/fleshlight they will throw it out unless you use it on them. They're the only toy you need.

• Always looking for new things to try online. Drags you over to the computer to get your approval before buying a new collar or to show you a new position they'd like to try. Missionary is their favorite because they like seeing your face, but they're always open to try other things for you.

• Cuddling/Aftercare is a must. Carnis enjoys a nice bath and snuggling into bed with you, but just laying in your arms straight after is fine with them too. Run your fingers through their hair or just speak softly to them and they'll be out like a light. Thanks you for staying with them and allowing them to love you every minute before they fall asleep. Hugs you tighter if you so much as breath differently and will not let go until they wake up.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere x you #yandere oc #yandere insert #yandere blurb #Carnis my oc #yandere teratophilia #yandere smut #tw yandere #yandere hybrid

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sturniolowhore · 3 months

Note

matt and chris fluff with anxious reader. matt struggles with anxiety and would be able to help reader with anxiety. chris has anxiety help experience from matt- just fluff and support 🧡💙

☁️ SWIM, WE'LL KEEP YOU AFLOAT

summary ⎯ reader has a bad day and finally ends up breaking when she's watching a movie with matt and chris (and basically what the request says)

warnings ⎯ mentions of anxiety, boyfriend!chris, bestfriend!matt, brief mention of bestfriend!nick, fem!reader, fluff, hurt and comfort

A/N ⎯ finally posting again!! thank you so much for 600 followers guys i love you so so much and i could not be more thankful. this request was the winner of the poll i did before but i will eventually be working on all of the requests so keep an eye out for them

i hope you enjoy <3

❛ ━━･❪ ִ ࣪𖤐 ❫ ･━━ ❜

anxiety for her feels like drowning. the overbearing thoughts start to flow a stream of her body, swimming through her mind until they begin to consume her entire being. a lot of the time she tries her hardest to ignore it, pretending it doesn't exist so she doesn't spend too much time thinking about it. it comes and it goes and she hates it. some days she'll be completely okay, not a single worry in her mind, yet others she'll feel like her head is being dunked under water and she can't breathe.

today feels like one of those days. things keep going wrong and she's not sure how much more she can take before she just breaks down. it's small elements piling up on top of one another and forming this mountain of worries that she can't seem to remove from her vision. despite her anxious state, she attempts to act as though nothing is wrong.

her head is currently laid on chris' chest with his arm slung around her shoulder. she's watching a movie with him and matt seeing as nick has gone out with madi. she'd be lying if she says she's actually watching the scenes in front of her though. the voices of the characters are echoing in her head and she can't quite keep up with everything. she's starting to feel worse by the second and she hates it so much. she especially hates it because she doesn't have a reason to be anxious, her body has just decided to keep her on edge for no apparent reason.

she can feel her mind working itself into overdrive as every recent worry she has is starting to build up into a cloud of despair. her eyes remain glued to the tv screen but her attention is somewhere else entirely.

she honestly doesn't even hear anything when chris first speaks up, "you okay ma? you're shaking."

chris taps at her shoulder lightly when he doesn't receive a response and she snaps out of her trance, turning to face him and offering a weak smile in the hopes that he won't catch onto her emotions. luck seemingly isn't on her side because chris' expression conveys pure sympathy. he pulls her closer to him and she clings onto his torso, turning her head so her face collides with his clothed chest.

her actions result in her entirely missing the look of concern both matt and chris share. they're aware something is definitely wrong now but as always, they don't want to force her into telling them how she feels. that's something she truly adores about them and nick too, for that matter. they allow her to go at her own pace and she's ever so thankful.

a tear falls from her eyes but of course she's the only one aware seeing as her face is hidden. she feels weak and she doesn't want to cry, especially when she doesn't know why she's crying. regardless of what she wants though, the tears still fall and eventually start to create a damp patch on chris' t shirt. he frowns as he feels the tears soak through the material and he gives a wary look to matt yet again.

"hey, it's okay come on, lift your head up baby," he strokes her hair softly and watches as she hesitantly lifts her head, coming up with a slightly choked sob that breaks his heart into a dozen pieces.

matt, who was previously sat on the other couch, stands up and makes his way to the couch she's sitting on. he sits beside her slowly and reaches a tentative hand to touch her shoulder, grounding her for a brief second as she continues to cry.

"i- i don't even know why i'm crying," she manages to get out, feeling all sense of composure she's been trying to hold onto wither away.

"hey, it's okay, we all get upset sometimes," matt's gentle voice sounds through the air and she could not be more thankful for the people she's surrounded by.

"has it been like this all day?" chris asks her warily, wanting to know a little more so he can provide her with the best comfort she so deeply deserves.

she nods her head sheepishly, wiping furiously at the tears spilling from her eyes. chris instantly moves her hands and replaces them with his own, stroking the tears away in a much gentler manner. she can also feel matt rubbing circles against her shoulder which both feel extremely delicate in contrast to the rough, jagged thoughts in her head.

"okay baby, we're going to play a little game. can you tell me five things you can see?" chris interrupts her train of thoughts and she can't help but smile because she knows exactly what he's trying to do.

"um, your t-shirt, your chain, the tv, fuck i can't. i'm sorry," she cries louder, hating how she can't do such a simple task.

"it's okay. let me go first and then you can try?" matt suggests and she nods slowly, making him continue, "i can see you and chris, i can see the other couch, i can see the tv and i can see my phone. can you try for us?"

"i can see chris, the wall, the mantlepiece, um- the table and the tv," she says ever so slowly but chris or matt don't make so much as a single comment about her taking too long; they simply wait patiently and continue to encourage her to keep going.

"there we go, i'm so proud. now four things you can feel. want me to go first?" chris asks and after a small sob escapes her lips, she nods her head in response.

"i can feel your pretty face on my chest, i can feel my chain on my neck, i can feel the couch and i can feel your hair tie on my wrist. come on ma, what are you feeling?" his voice is soft, so fucking soft and she wants to melt into it.

she hesitates but tries her best to overcome it and speak again, "i can feel your hand in- in my hair, matt's hand on my shoulder, the couch and uh- um..."

"slowly, only more thing. i can feel the pillow, can you feel it?" matt asks her, knowing she can certainly feel it.

she smiles at him, "mhm and i can feel the pillow."

"there we go, three things you can hear? oh that's a fun one," chris prompts her and she laughs lightly at his comment.

"the movie, my breathing and-" she stops, thinking and then smiling when chris starts to hum gently, "and your humming."

"you're doing so good," matt reassures her and she finds herself starting to relax more and more as the seconds pass.

"so good baby, i'm so proud of you," chris continues to comfort her softly with his hands, making her lean into his touch seeking the familiar sensation.

"two things you can smell?" matt queries, finding himself more relaxed at the fact that she's calming down too; he knows exactly how anxiety can get and he hates that she has to go through it when she's such a pure and loving individual.

"my perfume and i- i think chris' chapstick," she laughs with a little cough and chris rubs circles on her back lovingly.

"we're almost there ma, i just need to know what you can taste," chris tells her, smiling at her to show her that what she's feeling is allowed and that it doesn't change any feelings he has towards her like she fears it will. if anything, her strength makes him love her even more than he already does.

"i can't really taste anything..." she points out and chris thinks for a moment before an idea settles in his head.

"sorry matt," he says and before matt can question the apology, chris shortly but sweetly connects his lips with his girlfriend's before pulling away with a sheepish smile.

she shakes her head at him and laughs when matt playfully rolls his eyes. she licks at her lips and turns back to chris, "i can taste your chapstick."

"good job baby, i'm so proud of you. we love you so much," chris repeats like it's a mantra and she feels so much more calmer due to the brothers' love and comfort.

"you okay?" matt and chris ask her softly at the same time and she just feels so loved, so seen and she almost gets the urge to cry again but not because she's upset, rather because the people surrounding her make her feel ever so lovely and eased.

"i'm okay," she replies and she's so happy when she takes in the fact that it's genuinely the truth.

the lump in her throat has disappeared and her heart appears to be beating at a regular rate once more. she silently smiles to herself, still leaning into chris' touch and indulging in matt's casual chatter. everything feels normal again and she's beyond grateful. her head feels like it has been lifted from the water and suddenly she feels like she can swim again.

❛ ━━･❪ ִ ࣪𖤐 ❫ ･━━ ❜

tags: @mattslolita @sturniolololover @mattsleftnipple03 @that-general-simp

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decolonize-the-left · 9 months

Text

.....does anyone else get the vibe that the limitless expanse of the internet, media, and consequent ability to interact politically, spiritually, and apathetically with people locally and globally maybe had an influence not only on the individual's relation to the collective but also their ability to participate in it and see their significance to it?

Can we talk about it?

Like I feel like as some who was a frontline activist and now is a disabled social activist who dabbles in radicalizing liberals... The wall I and my peers continuously keep running into is the collective feeling that someone else will do it.

"it" being whatever action.

For me it's signing a petition, protesting, donating, community organizing (both online and offline).

We get tons of interest on stuff. Interest which very rarely translates to doing more than showing a poster to the friend theyre with before trashing it, reblogging a post, or hitting "interested" or like when we post local events.

And on All these platforms posts gets to a point of "enough" responses where ppl just stop responding and sharing, too.

On Tumblr you see this a lot with donation posts and people constantly having to make new ones. Cuz they're getting notes, but not tangible assistance that will help them. And the reblogs stop because there are so many notes that ppl start assuming that the goal was met or will be met soon.

But that isn't what's happening. And like I said this isn't just with donation posts or money so the answer isn't "well ppl are broke" which would be an easy and sensible answer.

Honestly, I've been thinking that with so Many people easily accessible online with so many opinions and varying levels of popularity and followers that it's easy to lose yourself in them. Especially now when so much of life takes place online.

It's so easy to think you're just one of those many people. ....So surely nobody would notice if you were being a little facetious, right?

Gonna be real, it seems a lot to me like a lot of people are trying to hide their lack of integrity through the anonymity offered online.

And like sure maybe nobody would notice if it was just a few people being facetious about supporting something but it's SO MANY (in my experience? Upwards of a thousand once) and Everywhere. Online, offline, and apps.

And the thing that makes it weird is that every one is assuming that people are being more helpful than they are. That more people are showing up.... Even though they themselves are not showing up either. Like I said reblogs for donations stop, shares stop, and only a handful of ppl show up to events irl. You can literally compare reblogs to the signatures when a petition is being shared.

Wanting to show up isn't the same as showing up.

"People" are not coming to change or show up to the revolution. It's you. You are the people. You are the people that need to show up. Not just as a notification on my screen but actually, because you think someone else will have enough integrity to show up for you but they don't.

Your integrity matters.

You matter so much. I don't know what it is behind this mass behavior that has y'all acting otherwise but I'm telling y'all right now that YOU and the choices that YOU make matter. The events that you choose to spend your time at and how you spend your energy and protecting your rights matters!

That isn't some "im just another drop fighting an endless battle in the ocean" kind of deal.

I'm telling you from experience: there is no ocean! We are in a fucking drought and every drop matters.

Show up. Nobody else is doing it on your behalf.

.......or is it just me? Has anyone else noticed this

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extrajigs · 5 months

Text

The BABBY Whorls post! I got quite a few asks about these guys as little-r guys so I just decided to make a new post for em! Info below the cut as always!

SOO Whorls and all pentapods go through a larval stage at the beginning of life. Whorls are ovoviviparous so they are ready to swim and gather their own food as soon as they're born. These lil tadpoles will mostly feed on pond scum but much prefer meat and fruit dropped off by their attentive family members.

At this stage they cant eat a whole lot due to their undersized combs. Combs being the teeth equivalent for pentapods. Combs are heavily copper infused and they need to be shed and regrown as the baby grows. They shed them many many times as they grow until they reach adulthood. Adults only shed their combs every decade or so.

Whorlette's are also sporting unfused shell! Pentapods descend from a fully shelled ancestor despite the very sparsely shelled adult Whorl. Babies are sporting hard, unfused shells when they are in this aquatic phase, but once they leave the water they make the change to their more modern internal shell and rubbery casing. Their limbs are also different! While they have the beginnings of their skeletal system in place, their legs are much more adapted to swimming, ESPECIALLY the hind. In fact the most common issue faced during the transition to land is learning how to use that 'tail' as an actual leg. Many a baby Whorl has enjoyed training braces during their land loving days.

Whorl's spend about a year in their aquatic state before heading out onto land. I haven't decided on their life timeline entirely, buuuut. I'm thinking maybe hitting sexual maturity at 8-10 and being full grown at around age 12-15 and living to an average of about 30 to 40. Not super long :( but they are living fast out there!

#yay babies!#pentapods #art #worldbuilding #speculative biology #spec bio #aliens #whorls

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thegoldenappleofdiscord · 7 months

Note

hit me with your best will solace hcs please, i can take it

will solace headcanons or something

gonna be real honest i forgot half of my headcanons and i'll probably remember them the minute i post this but:

healing and hymns: i don't think the healing process in chb is specified beyond "ambrosia and nectar," but i think a combination of powerful voice (stentorian) + correct hymn + natural talent = higher chances of healing success; i don't think will has a voice that's very pleasant to listen to. i think he can carry a tune, sure, but he isn't someone you want to listen to for extended periods of time. the thing i think makes him such a good healer is his strong voice - he's able to keep singing at a steady pace with consistency. he can heal his siblings of small bruises and paper cuts through a single song, but you won't catch him leading a campfire. [i thought way too long about how hymns work in the infirmary for my fic jdsjgfdg]

texan will: i've seen a lot of headcanons revolving around texan will that have always been a little odd to me, seeing as i'm texan and half of these hcs are just blatant stereotypes lmao. i think i even once saw someone say that because he's from the south he can't be a vegetarian, which is pretty absurd (coming as someone who fasts.) honestly the only one for this i can think of is that he uses "ya'll" constantly. also occasionally indulges in fried food, because fried chicken slaps (none of that fried oreo/snickers bs. miss me with that will would NOT go near that stuff.)

assorted appearance headcanons:

he has freckles all over him! apparently he doesn't have them canonically and we all just. collectively decided that he did, and i love that.

likes pockets. anything with pockets. also, flip flops, crocs, basically any open-toed shoes. sometimes he'll just go barefoot, because why not. i also think he wears a lot of bracelets - things made by his younger siblings (some alive, some not.) they're his version of camp beads.

from here i give up on categorizing my hcs:

gets more irritated during winter/fall months

tea person

the type of person to belt out songs when he thinks nobody is watching

is actually rather chill during shadow travel, and doesn't get nauseated because he's done it with nico so often

lets the cocoa puffs hitch a ride on him whenever he's in the infirmary, and always has to explain who they are to new patients.

doesn't curse often but when he does it's a storm

friends with drew because i said so and also because i think he, jake, and drew have "i became a camp counselor too early" solidarity. i think they all became friends post tlo and have maintained a tentative relationship since! those cabins have each other's backs.

big spoon

wants to get more tattoos (maybe a tattoo sleeve?)

doesn't want to become a doctor, but rather a vet, or maybe a teacher. reasoning being that he'll have to relearn everything, but also that he'll have to deal with the loss of his patients again, this time knowing he couldn't heal them magically because he's relying on modern medicine. plus, he would have to spend a long time away from his siblings, and seeing as how he's a year rounder, i don't think that would bode well for him.

really really likes planning events - especially birthday parties

wants to travel the world, but is also afraid to leave everything behind

was once afraid of growing up, and still sort of is. doesn't think much of his birthday, because he used to celebrate it with his mother, and he didn't really get a chance to start celebrating with his siblings before being thrown into war

terrible dancer, even though his boyfriend is really good at it

loves to garden! there's a garden for the infirmary where he gathers ingredients for salves and poultices, but he also just loves the scent of flowers. he likes to care and nurture things, and plants are something he pours a lot of energy into. he and nico also go strawberry picking a lot.

fast fast fast runner

post tsats: persephone will occasionally call him using an angel trumpet flower (this is like. a very specific vision but search up one of those flowers and imagine holding it up to your ear like a telephone:)

anyway she calls him on one of these bad boys and asks how he's doing. they have long chats about flowers and sometimes him and nico are invited for picnics in the underworld.

him and nico have a travel bucket list

he has possibly the worst handwriting ever. absolutely terrible

is pretty bad at using technology, but still has to pretend like he knows how to use it when he's helping nico navigate the internet.

aand that's all i remember for now!

#also i'm well aware that trumpet flowers are poisonous #seph has particular taste lmao #will solace #will solace pjo #will solace headcanon #nico di angelo #nico di angelo pjo #solangelo #drew tanaka #tsats #pjo #toa #rrverse #reeseanswers #lets not talk about how i used vocation forgetting what it actually meant mkay?

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wosoluver · 1 month

Text

You always know what to say and do.

Andrea Medina x reader

-> got this idea while watching her tiktok, where they're playing the marshmallow game, so if you want some good context to it, pls look it up. Once again this is fictional, and don't necessarily reflect the reality, although Andrea has been open about her ADHD and hyperactivity.

TW: angst, anxiety attack (sort of), mentions of hyperactivity and feelings of anxiety.

You and your girlfriend were almost never apart. You thrive in each-others presence. Always a safe place to joke around, talk, sing, cry or sometimes just sit around in comfortable silence. And by silence it actually meant you were relaxing quietly while Andrea walked around talking nonstop.

It never bothered her because she knew you were paying attention to her every move and words, and it made her feel like someone was actually listening to her. And you, you loved those moments more than anything. It didn't bother you either, to you, her voice was the most relaxing sound, you could listen to her jokes all day. You loved that despite knowing you had a way lower energy level, she could always still be one hundred percent herself, even if it meant enduring her hyperactive self. It was indeed very comforting having someone so opposite to you that yet complemented you perfectly deep down inside.

So when she called you up at 3 AM crying, your heart broke. It was hard enough being away from each other, when she was away with the sub 20 national team. This time they were away for a game against Germany, and the call was unexpected to say the least. Even though you would spend hours on facetime, she usually slept like a baby through the night, especially after training for hours. That's one of the only things that would really drain some energy out of her.

Andrea was the type of person to never break down in front of others, so when she called you in the middle of the night, you knew it was bad.

"What happened amor? Why are you crying?" - you asked desperately.

You could barely make up the words she was saying through the phone.

"Breathe okay? I'm here, cry all you need and then talk to me amor" -

It took around ten minutes for her cries to die down.

"Everyone hates me!" - "They think I am annoying and they don't want me around!" -

"Did someone say that to you?"-

She shook her head while she spoke - "No, but I know it, I can tell"-

"Baby, tell me what happened okay? Is Ornella with you?" -

"No, we're not sharing rooms this week." - I nodded to her, reassuring her to continue - "We were at Martina's room and I had an idea for a tiktok, you know the one marshmallow two marshmallow game?"

"Yes I saw you posted it earlier. But what happened?" -

"While we were filming, it felt like everyone was so annoyed at me, like they were tired and that I was taking up space you know? I know not a lot of people can deal with the way I am, but I don't know, I just thought we were all good friends, and that it would be fun..."-

"Cariño, I wish I could hold you right now." - you say sadly - "But we've talked about this. You can't live worrying if others might be bothered by it. It's who you are! You don't have to feel bad for the ones around you! I hate that you felt that way today, I just wish I could be there with you."

"I love the girls and I just sometimes forget how overbearing I can be. It's kind of hard, when I'm back home with you, Lola, Cris, Wifi and the team I don't even think about it, I don't worry. I forget how much support I have and I'm so thankful. And I love you amor. So much." -

By now you were tearing up. For the last year and a half, you've seen her through it all, and you knew her pain. You knew how hard it was for her to say it out loud, even more to anyone that was not the reflection in her mirror. She keeps her smile up even when she feels the saddest. Your guess was that she kept that fake smile and jokes, kept it up until she was finally alone in the hotel room. And then just exploded from her feelings. And you guessed it right.

She only decided to call you when she realized she couldn't calm down by herself. That was, after hours of crying.

"Was Ornella there?" - you ask already knowing the answer as she shook her head no. You knew if she was, this most likely wouldn't have happened.

"How about you take hot a shower? I'll stay on the call, and when you're done we can go to sleep?" - She easily gave in to your idea, knowing that's exactly what she needed right now, besides the cuddle that she wouldn't be getting till next monday.

After taking a rather quick shower not wanting to be away from the call too long, she put on the hoodie she brought along that smelled like you. The piece of clothing was her own, but it acquired the smell from how much you wore it around the apartment.

Laying back down on the bed and going under the covers, she focused once again on the phone screen.

"Better?" she only nodded quickly - "I love you, Andrea, so much. And I know that if Ornella was there you would've felt seen and safer. But you can't depend on having one of us by your side, to feel like you deserve to be who you are. I know Lola and I talk about it a lot, but it's true. You can't be careful around others at the expense of your own feelings. It's not healthy. They can remove themselves if they'd like. By now we know that some people don't have much patience unfortunately. They have no idea the gem they're missing on, my love." -

"Gracias bebé, for knowing what to say and do. I know I need to work on fighting these feelings off. And promise tomorrow I'll follow the drill and try to stay close to Ornella. Even though that's the opposite of what you just said." - seemly as on queue she let's out an yawn.

"Okay baby. I'll leave you to get some sleep then."

She immediately protested -"Please stay until one of us falls a sleep?" -

You couldn't say no to her.

Took a little bit of my own personal experience to write this one and hope it also helps anyone in need of some comfort and reassuring words. 🩷

Also my first time writing, so I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice. This feels like it needs some improvement.

#espwnt #woso #womens football #atletico madrid femenino #andrea medina #woso x reader #andrea medina x reader

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killersfool · 7 months

Note

hii! not sure if you’re open to requests but i’m going to give u a few ideas! most of these are for elijah hewson😭

falling asleep on the couch, waking up to not only a blanket around them, but eli squeezed in behind them

being in the studio with the band and messing about?? making jokes and being silly!

kissing and dancing in the kitchen to an old singe they both like?

eli taking care of you when you’re sick and just being super soft and caring!

spending valentine’s day together!

something about the reader playing with eli’s fingers to calm them down?

softly smiling at each other from across the room and also reassuring touches!

telling each other how much they love them

them cuddling in bed and pulling eachother closer

hope these spark your writing :))))

Kiss It Better | ELIJAH HEWSON

here's a short little thing inspired by this request!

PAIRING: elijah hewson x f!reader

WORDS: 1.5k

SUMMARY: eli's girlfriend is ill, elijah comforts her.

GENRE: hurt/comfort, fluff

WARNINGS: references to throwing up

I've never been so ill in my life. My nose is so runny. I've almost used every single packet of tissues in the kitchen cabinet right under the sink — which used to be a lot and now is very little. I've thrown up my insides into the loo way too many times to count on my fingers. Bent over the toilet, eyes pricking with tears, I've never felt so useless. At least the thought of my boyfriend getting back after his gig gives me something to look forward to. But it's far too late.

I'm staring at the TV screen. I hug my knees to my chest, attempting to generate some warmth. The blanket is upstairs — probably hiding in the space between the bed and the wall. Surely, if I attempt to stumble upstairs now, I'll just get stuck and end up falling asleep in the corridor.

I can't stop glancing at the door. I'm hoping for a doorknob twist, knock, ring of the doorbell, stamp of boots, low and raspy post-concert voice. But I'm just met with nothing. No signs of his arrival. He hasn't called me. He usually doesn't. He likes to surprise me. After having the worst migraine of my life, it would give me some comfort if he just gave me a hug. A warm Elijah Hewson hug would cleanse my mind.

Starting to realise that the TV is doing more harm than good, I switch it off. I'm beginning to see blurry triangular shapes and my eyes burn like they're on fire. The living room is pitch black. I'm freezing. I'm tired. I take two paracetamol tablets and chug some water. Curling up on my side, legs on the armrest, I close my eyes.

I wake up. Sunlight gleams through the gaps in the white curtains. My body is wrapped in a duvet, soft and warm. Skin is against mine. Arms are around my body, squeezing me tightly. He's shirtless. I can tell by the tufts of chest hair flicking at my shoulder. His head is on my back, curls all over my skin, lips between my shoulderblades. I don't want to move. I don't want to speak. He's asleep. Gentle snores, deep breaths, in and out.

I must've fallen into a deep sleep because I have no recollection of his arrival or him ever taking me upstairs. I'm usually a light sleeper. This migraine fully knocked me out. That's the best nights sleep I've had in a while. I'm especially thankful I managed to escape from work for the rest of the week.

Elijah's normally the little spoon when we hug like this. It's funny how the tables have turned. I think I prefer this though. But lying awake and tracing the muscles in his back always seems to calm me down.

I want to ask him how the show went and the reason for his tardiness. He had been playing in Glasgow, thankfully only a few miles away from me and had bought me tissues, chocolate and gave me an endless supply of kisses before he had to run down to meet the band.

Opening my eyes fully, I take a peek over at the bedside table. He's brought me more tissues, face masks, more chocolate and a box of sleep teabags.

I realise Elijah's awake when his fingers start to walk along my bare stomach and his mouth is at the juncture between my back and shoulder. He pulls my hair to the side, presses his wet mouth to my neck. He smells clean. I'm sure he's showered. His hair feels a little damp.

He keeps pulling me closer. Arms tightening like he's a boa constrictor. Cool rings on my stomach, large hands tugging at the waistband of my shorts.

"You feeling better?" He asks, between kisses, tongue tracing my jugular vein. It's unsettlingly nice. His words are always gruff the morning after the show. All the singing takes a toll. Makes him sound more mellow. Sometimes I worry for his vocal cords.

"Not really." I groan. A mind-numbing headache is still prodding at my brain and the brightness of the sun makes my eyes burn. He's got a hand on my forehead, cool fingers against fiery skin — checking the temperature.

"God, you're pale. And you're burning up. I should get the thermometer." He gets out of bed. The loss of weight of his body makes the mattress shift. I glance over at him. His hair has stuck up at the top, his bare back glows under the sunlight. He stands up. Sweatpants cling loosely to his hips, revealing the muscles of his abdomen and a chain circles around his neck. He leaves the room — not even giving me time to utter a word of annoyance at the sudden lack of touch.

Then he's back. He crawls into bed. The thermometer is between his index finger and thumb. I look at the cross tattoo on his palm, see the concentration on his face as he plays around with the buttons.

"It's just a migraine," I say but he's already turning it on and pointing at my mouth. I roll my eyes and separate my lips. He gives me a sly smirk, just making me sit like that for a moment. Then he puts the device beneath my tongue and waits patiently. I'm trying not to laugh at how awkward this is. I close my eyes to evade his gaze but I can still feel the force of his stare.

"You've got a fever." Dr Hewson alerts me with his expert diagnosis although the furrow of his brows makes him seem unsure. He looks down at the numbers displayed, rubbing his face with worry. "A really bad one." He's now searching up on his phone what it means.

"Should I go to the doctors?" I shuffle away from him. I don't want him to catch what I have. He has gigs all week, I don't want to ruin anything for him.

He notices my movement. Shaking his head, he drags me back towards him, making me nestle into his chest. His eyes are still darting along a website.

"I think you just need to rest. I'll make you breakfast." Elijah kisses my nose before running downstairs with his mind set solely on making some decent food.

Through the corridor, into the kitchen. He's forgotten where half the things are in the room. Opening cabinets, searching through the fridge, putting water into the kettle. Most of the time he'll get his breakfast on the way to a show. Maybe a café, maybe he'll steal some food from Ryan. Today, however, he's lucky enough to not have a gig and actually have time to look after his girlfriend. Although he's definitely going to make a mess of the place.

His final decision is to make omelettes. Oil on the frying pan, ham—leaving it to heat up until it's a little crispy. Two eggs, cracked and swirled in a glass. Cheese on top, grated with masterful excellence—at least that's what he believes. Folds it over to make it fill half of the pan. Let's it continue to fry. Then he's running over to make a cup of tea. He uses one of the sleep teabags he bought. He's just about to plate up when footsteps echo behind him.

I have to stop for a second when I walk into the kitchen. It's a rarity to see Elijah here, cooking for me. We started dating at the beginning of the tour which unluckily means that he's hardly ever home. He has to leave early in the morning and gets back really late. Whenever he has days off, he takes me on dates and walks, or we just laze around at home, basking in eachother's presence. There's times when he brings me along to the recording studio so that I can reprimand all the band members or give an outside opinion of their new songs.

Elijah seems so focused on getting this omelette perfect. He's running around the place. He grabs two pieces of bread to turn his dish into an omelette-sandwich. I stand in the doorway for a while, just watching him. But, I can't stop myself from nearing him. As he cuts an apple into a slices, I slide my arms around his stomach, pressing my head to his shoulder. He sighs quietly. I breathe in his scent, his comfort.

"You should be in bed," he whispers, although he doesn't seem to want me to let go. I shake my head as he looks at me.

There's music playing on the radio. I turn it up. It's a song by The Smiths. I'm swaying to the beat, moving Elijah along with me. He's still carefully chopping fruit into perfect pieces. Watermelon, strawberries, mango. My mouth is watering just looking at the vast array of flavours.

Elijah drops his knife, turns around to face me. His hands find my waist, his lips find my neck, his head burrows into my chest like he's a mole hiding under soil. We dance along to the crackle of music, feeling the melodies trickle into our bones. Just his presence makes me feel better, every kiss turns my negative thoughts to mush.

#elijah hewson #elijah hewson oneshot #elijah hewson x reader #elijah hewson imagine #eli hewson #inhaler band #inhaler imagines #inhaler oneshots #inhaler dublin #fanfiction #inhaler fanfiction #robert keating #bobby skeetz #josh jenkinson #ryan mcmahon #inhaler #inhaler fanfic #inhaler imagine

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howtofightwrite · 4 months

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Taekwondo Groundfighting

how does taekwon-do cover grappling? Or at least traditional taekwon-do? -justhugsplz

From asking Michi, the short answer is that it pilfers a lot of it's ground fighting from Jujitsu. Which, ironically, means we share the same ground fighting fundamentals. Taekwondo works from the perspective that you're not going to be spending much time on the ground, so it's not a focus, and a result, probably never really developed its own groundfighting toolkit.

There is a element of, “if you can't make your own, store bought is fine,” to martial arts. If a martial arts master identifies a gap in their curriculum, in a lot of cases, they simply find someone else's solution to that situation, and incorporate it, or adapt it to fit their needs.

Neither of us know what historical groundfighting looked like in Taekwondo. It should probably be said, but Taekwondo is not really a, “traditional,” martial art. It has its origins in the 20th century, so the integration of Jujitsu may have always been with Taekwondo, to some degree. It's also possible that the original intention was to supplement Taekwondo with some other groundfighting martial art, like Ssierum.

Traditional Korean martial arts include Ssierum, Subak, and Taekkyon. I'm not especially knowledgeable about any of those. Of those, Taekwondo sometimes styles itself as a successor to Taekkyon, but more in the sense of, “loosely inspired by,” rather than a reconstruction.

Though, in recent years there have been some genuine attempts to revive Taekkyon. I'm not saying, “reconstruct,” because I think there's an unbroken line, it just that Taekkyon fell out of favor in the 19th century, and almost died out, not that it actually had died off.

Taekkyon does have its own set of joint locks and grappling techniques, but I'm not familiar with those, so I don't know if they're unique to Taekkyon, or, “the same thing everyone else does.” There is a legitimate element to the idea that basic physiology doesn't change, if an arm lock works one way, that doesn't mean you copied from someone else.

As far as I know, Hapkido was developed independently of Taekwondo, so they probably weren't intended to work in concert, but some Taekwondo schools do pull their grappling from Hapkido.

So the short answer is, Taekwondo tends to lift its groundfighting from other sources, whether that's Jujitsu, Hapkido, or another available martial art, and as a result, it's quite possible that the original expectation was that practitioners would supplement their groundfighting from another source. Especially given that groundfighting isn't a priority for Taekwondo.

-Starke

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#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #how to fight write #starke answers

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fag-the-wholewideworld · 2 years

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Thoughts on Pressured Femininity on the Internet

Look, I gave my post a fancy title!

In a lot of places on the internet, but especially tumblr (this is where I spend most of my time), I've noticed something, within trans circles, and without.

Generally, I'll see memes that refer to something femininely, no matter the situation, either through pronouns or adjectives or whatever. Like "girl help" or "good for her" (though I have seen that one edited to say "him" or "them" occasionally). And, I'm a trans guy. Even if I know it's incredibly general, being referred to as a girl isn't fun!

And then there's the post going around about F1NN5TER's girl month, with people saying he's an egg. Again, however, on this post, I have seen a lot of good gender commentary and people calling out the people using she/her pronouns for him, but it still highlights that people think that way.

And then the MCR show in Nashville happened. And this has been a phenomenon in the MCR community already, but Gerard wore a dress, so it's popped up more. GERARD WAY USES HE/THEY PRONOUNS. People keep calling him a girl and using she/her pronouns completely unironically (as far as I can tell).

The Gerard Way situation, and the F1NN5TER situation are direct misgendering. I don't care what gender you think they are, they know their gender better than you! Stop fucking misgendering people because they're gender non-conforming! That's exactly what you're not supposed to do! As a trans man who wears skirts, please. Men can wear skirts without being "eggs".

And now that I've gotten through the general community stuff, let's talk about the trans community.

I've seen, occasionally, memes and jokes about feminizing men, or prescribing every man estrogen, or whatever. With the implication being, make men trans women.

If I made that joke but reversed, I would be doxxed. If I made a joke about masculinizing women or prescribing every woman testosterone, I would be demonized. The double standards are glaring.

Also, it just... isn't a funny joke? You want to give people gender dysphoria by giving them a body that doesn't match their gender? Congrats, you're a bad person!

And that all is aside from all the "men are trash", "kill all men" stuff, but I don't have the energy to get into that.

#trans thoughts #trans #transandrophobia #mcr #f1nn5ter #gerard way

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enwonz · 3 months

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♫ the story of us | k.sn

freshly broken up with sunoo, you turn up to a party, one where you already know he’s going to be at. the catch? nobody knew you ever dated. keeping your past under wraps is one thing, but throw in the lingering feelings, and you have yourself a hot mess…

read the rest of the series here! (for taglist)

pairing ➭ popular boy sunoo x class president reader

genre ➭ lovers to strangers (a terrible attempt really), angst, mutual pining but they’d never admit it, post-breakup, secret dating

word count ➭ 3.4k (i like drabbles)

a/n ➭ i popped this out first because i’m crazy for sunoo recently lmao...more to come in the next two months, my schedule is gonna get wild so imma try to wrap this up asap. sunwonki's parts are actually interconnected, but they're not in chronological order haha. if u want to figure out the timeline/see bonus moments of each couple, read them all (shameless self promo i know). enjoy!

Damn, do you hate high school.

It’s friday, and you’re at your locker, arranging your books after the last class of the day. Students have started leaving the classrooms by now, and the hallway’s one big traffic jam. Normally, you’d be thrilled to have a nice weekend, unhindered by your teachers’ incessant nagging. But this week isn’t the same as every other week, is it?

Because it’s the first weekend you’re spending without Sunoo.

It was a quiet affair, really. Literally nobody even knew you and Sunoo were dating. Please, you two were worlds apart – you, the class president, and Sunoo, the popular it-boy. No one, not even you, could’ve seen it coming. You two had gotten off to a rough start, having classroom cleaning duties together. You were particular about everything, from the way he held the broom to the direction he swept in. He, on the other hand, was more concerned with what time he’d be let off so he could go out with his friends. So yeah, your first interactions were essentially petty bickering.

But somewhere along the line, you began to see eye to eye. Maybe it was the way the light sparkled in his eyes when he smiled, even on rainy days. Maybe it was the way he’d invited you to grab boba after your duties for the first time, a conspiratorial glint in his eyes (yeah, you had a thing for his pretty eyes). Or maybe it was the way he’d kissed you in an empty classroom, rays of the setting sun streaming in through the window shutters as he held you in his arms, a silent promise to never let go.

You scoff to yourself. Not all promises can be kept, especially when it comes to you and Kim Sunoo.

In the corner of your eye, you spot Sunoo and his friends leaving a classroom, laughing amongst themselves. He passes you, never once looking at you, and you force yourself to turn away. You don’t care. You cannot care.

Slamming your locker door shut, you sling your bag over your shoulders, ready to find your friends for a trip to some cafe. It would make a good distraction. Or so you think, until Soobin runs up to you, hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breath. “Y/n! Have you heard? There’s a birthday party tonight at Kim Sunoo’s house.”

The very mention of Sunoo sends your head spinning, and you have to lean against your locker to ground yourself. Soobin doesn’t know, and you’d like to keep it that way. “Whose birthday is it?”

“Nishimura Riki, I think? That guy in the fencing club.” As if you need the introduction. Sunoo talked about him a lot, his love for his best friend ridiculously wholesome. But it’s the way Sunoo never told you he was hosting a birthday party for him, and the fact that you only broke up a week ago, that pisses you off. Just a little.

Gosh, you really have to stop thinking of him.

“Honestly, does it really matter? You don’t do parties.” Soobin’s the head of the student council, a token good boy. It’s one of the reasons why you get along with him so well. The student council president and the class president are friends. Shocker.

Soobin grins sheepishly. “Yeah, but you know how I’ve been talking to the captain of the fencing club about this year’s budget recently? Turns out she’s Nishimura’s girlfriend, and she personally invited me tonight. And, um…” he trails off, handing you the invitation. “She said I could bring a plus one.” He looks at you with so much hope and despair, as though he’s begging you not to let him go alone to a party where he knows no one.

You eye him warily. “This the kind of party with alcohol and shit?”

“Think so. All the more reason for you to back me up, be my voice of reason, no?”

“If you need me to tell you not to drink, you probably shouldn’t be going at all.”

Soobin groans, pleading you with his eyes. “C’mon, you know I never drink. Just come, please? Don’t leave me to die.”

You two enter a staring contest, the persuasion practically emanating off him. It’s not even that you don’t want to go, you’d just rather not see Sunoo more than you have to. And that thought alone is what makes a twisted sort of determination flare in your chest. Who said you were gonna let Kim Sunoo dictate your life, huh? “Fine, I’ll do it,” you finally relent, and Soobin whoops. “Knew you’d come around. Let’s meet at seven at the mall, and we’ll go together. You can’t go back on your promise!”

As Soobin disappears into the crowd, you can’t help but sigh, banging your head against the wall. What exactly have you done?

Hours later, you’re at the mall, checking your wristwatch. Soobin said to be here at seven, but it’s quarter past seven and he still hasn’t shown up. Typical.

You tug on the hem of your hoodie. It’s oversized, the sleeves too long, the front too baggy as it reaches where your shorts end. Of course it is. It’s Sunoo’s. He never took it back from your house, so it’s still in your possession. You’re here to mess with him, and you want him to know it.

Finally, finally, you spot Soobin waving at you as he rushes over. He’s dressed simply too, though his clothes are pointedly better fitting. “Sorry I’m late. Student council meeting overran.”

You roll your eyes. Sunoo’s place isn’t far, so the walk isn’t long. “Let’s go over the rules. No drinking more than two cups of whatever they’re serving that has any kind of alcohol in it, or our parents are gonna kill us. And we are definitely leaving together, got it?”

Waving his hand dismissively, Soobin agrees. “Yeah, yeah. I got it. We’ll stick together until we can’t. If we do get separated, I’ll call you.” As you continue chatting, you realise your feet have moved on their own in the direction of Sunoo’s house, and Soobin’s staring at you weirdly. “Wow, did you memorise his address already? Your sense of direction is insane.”

Shit. “W-well, I just followed the street signs. Oh look, it’s right up ahead.” You walk ahead, trying to hide the way your ears flush hot. You’re a few blocks away, but already you can hear the thrum of the music coming from one of the houses. “Hurry up, we’re already late.”

The party itself is already well underway. It looks like your whole cohort and more is here, what with the massive crowd of people in the house, spilling into the front yard. The place smells of sweat and alcohol, a very foreign scent. You’re used to this house when it’s quiet, just you and Sunoo, the only words spoken shared between you two. Not this…rave of a birthday party. To think it isn’t even Sunoo’s.

Would he have done the same for yours?

Shaking your head, you shove those traitorous thoughts to a corner of your mind. Tonight isn’t supposed to be about him, yet everything is making you think of him.

You follow Soobin into the house, slipping past the crowd and into the doorway. In the living room, seated on a couch is Riki himself, laughing at something someone said. His arm’s slung around a really pretty girl, who Soobin tells you is his girlfriend.

And on Riki’s other side is him.

While you were dating Sunoo, he refused to go to parties, saying he’d go only if you agreed (which of course you didn’t, because that would be hard-launching you). This is the first time you’re seeing him really dressed up, and gosh, he looks good. He always did look good, but that half-unbuttoned collar of his shirt is driving you mad, more so than you’ve ever been. You’re desperately trying to hold on to any remaining shred of your sanity, but when his eyes meet yours, you feel it all slipping away.

There’s something weird about looking into Sunoo’s eyes, especially when he’s looking at you with a strange expression you know is only meant for you. It’s as though time has stopped completely, the background noise dulling, and the only thing in your world is his gaze on you. Knowing Soobin is here, you definitely have to pretend you don’t know Sunoo. He’s daring you, daring you to do something, right here in front of everyone. It’s also the reason why you broke up in the first place. Oh, the irony.

You ignore Soobin’s garbled protest as you march up to Riki. “Happy birthday!” you exclaim, handing your carefully-wrapped gift to him. “It’s not much, but I hope you like it anyway.”

Something odd lies beneath his gaze as he looks at you, receiving the gift coolly. “Thanks, Y/n. You’ll probably want a look around the place, won’t you?” He smacks Sunoo’s thigh good-naturedly. “Oi, house owner. Be a good host and give her a tour.”

Oh. So he knows after all.

Gritting your teeth, you’re about to reject his kind offer, when Sunoo rises to his feet. “No problem! Right this way, Y/n.” The fake cheeriness in his voice makes you inwardly scoff. You definitely don’t miss the way Sunoo’s hand instinctively moves to take yours, before retracting it in a sharp movement, as though he realises a second too late. The way he avoids looking directly at you afterward is indescribably satisfying.

As you pass Soobin, he does a double take. “Not even five minutes in and you’re abandoning me?” he splutters.

“Change of plans. Just stay put, I’ll come find you after this.”

“Why can’t I come with you?”

“Wanna follow me to the bathroom?”

At this, Soobin winces. “Okay, definitely not. Don’t forget about me, please?”

Patting him on the shoulder, you grin. “Not a chance. I’ll be back before you know it.”

You are not back before he knows it.

Sunoo mostly ran through the motions, showing you the kitchen, a games room, and all the food. Though you both know it’s useless. You already know all this. So it’s not unexpected when he leads you up the stairs to the hallway. There’s his room, straight on. Glancing around to make sure no one’s looking, he grabs your wrist and tugs you in, locking the door behind the two of you.

The room looks exactly like you remember, albeit void of the picture frames that once had photos of the two of you. There used to be a string of polaroids hanging above his bed, but even that’s gone. Gosh, this is so unfair. Clearly he had better luck in getting rid of every trace of you. At least, that’s what you think, until he slumps against the door, sinking to the ground with his face in his hands.

“Why’d you have to do that?” he groans. You can’t see his expression behind his hands, but by the sound of it, he doesn’t seem very pleased at all.

“Do what? You’re the one who told Nishimura you’d give me a tour. Don’t try to pin this on-”

“Nice hoodie you got there,” he interjects snarkily. “Get it now? Damn it, and I was doing so well, but here you are, wearing my clothes, in my house.” He finally looks up at you, and you can see the frustration he’d tried to hold in all this time. He runs his fingers through his hair, and for the first time, you realise he looks utterly despondent. It’s a sharp contrast to all the ignoring he’s been doing the past week, pretending you don’t exist, even when you’re just metres away from him. He’s been his same smiling self, a ray of sunshine to everyone, as though everything that ever happened between the two of you was a figment of your imagination.

You should be happy about this, really, that he’s no better than you. But you can’t deny the twinge of pain in your chest as you watch him. You’ve come to know the kind of person he is – sunny on the outside, only letting the mask fall in front of the people he trusts most. The fact that he’s even letting you see this right now is enough to render you speechless.

You swallow a lump in your throat you didn’t even know was there. “I…I’m not going to apologise.” It’s honestly a terrible thing to say, when your ex is on the ground and lamenting your relationship, but you really can’t think of anything to say that won’t let on more than you want to.

The laugh he lets out is rough, almost self-deprecating. “I don’t expect you to. This is…this is partially my fault.” He sighs, looking about as tired as he sounds. “We made the choice together, Y/n. We can’t…”

You know what he’s going to say – you can’t just go back on your word now., not when it took so much to part ways. To fall back into each other, or even admitting the desire to, would mean weakness. Heaven forbid you show any, being the prideful pair you are. Because what really mattered all along was the status quo, wasn’t it? Popular pretty boys don’t date nerds. It’s a disgusting stereotype, really, but at the end of the day you know what everyone will say if they ever found out. Selfish, but you need to be selfish if you want to protect yourself.

“What we had, we knew it couldn’t last. Life isn’t a romcom.” It’s less of a reply than it is a half-hearted attempt at convincing yourself that it’s true.

“You’re telling me that while wearing my clothes. Low blow, Y/n.”

Well, at least he can joke with you now. But it’s short-lived, and before you know it he’s getting to his feet, smoothing out his tousled hair. “This can’t happen again. We just have to be…strangers to each other. It’s easier that way.”

There’s this traitorous part of you that wants to reach out and grab him, pull him back into one last kiss. But you know it won’t do you any good, only make everything worse. He’s right. It’s easier to pretend nothing ever happened, because as far as anyone’s concerned, nothing ever happened. Besides, you suspect he’d really, really hate it if you did that.

Or so it seems, until it’s his hands that reach for you, his face buried in the crook of your neck like it’s the most natural thing in the world to do. Because it was. For a long time, it was. “Just give me a moment, will you?”

So you let him. You let him wrap his arms around you, let his fingers trace your jawline as he leans in and-

“One last kiss? Can I have it?”

Oh.

His voice shakes as he speaks, a moment of vulnerability, and the last one you will see. He’s searching your eyes for something. You don’t know if you have that something anymore. Wordlessly, you capture his lips in yours, letting yourself drown in his touch for the final time. It’s a bittersweet feeling, knowing your heart wants to stay in this moment forever, but your head tells you this can’t - won’t - happen again. Kim Sunoo knows every inch of you by heart, and he shows it in the way he holds you with a gentleness no one else could have towards you. Now, he will have to unlearn it, unlearn you.

Sunoo is the first to pull away. His lips are red and swollen, eyes glassy as he tries to get himself together. You’re guessing you don’t look much different. A quick glance in the mirror above his vanity is all you need to know that yes, you’re every bit the mess you think you are. Even as you turn the doorknob to leave, the lingering feeling of his hands on your waist refuse to fade. It takes all your effort to step out, descending the stairs alone. You know Sunoo’s right behind you, but somehow he already feels far, far away.

You scan the room for Soobin’s face. The crowd’s more dispersed by now, so it isn’t long before you spot him in a corner of the kitchen, munching on a pack of biscuits. “Took you long enough. They’re playing games right now, wanna join?”

“Sure, I guess.” You glance around, forcing yourself to ignore the footsteps on the stairs. “Where’s the birthday boy?”

Soobin shrugs. “Had to run an errand for his family, apparently. He’ll be back. It’s weird, though, what kind of errand has to be run so close to midnight?”

You turn to the dining table to see Riki’s girlfriend seated on one side, grinning as she watches a bunch of people play some sort of card game on the floor. Sunoo’s amongst them; you can see a tuft of blond hair peeking out from underneath the table. He’s laughing, the light in his eyes back again. Lots of people are clapping him on the back, and he only laughs louder. Watching him like this, in his comfort zone, you realise this is where he belongs. He belongs with people who shine like him, not you, the part of him that has to be hidden away. It’s for the better. It has to be.

So why do you still fantasise being by his side, even now?

Enough is enough. “Soobin, I’m leaving,” you murmur. Your fingers are tightly gripping the hoodie you’re still wearing as you start to zone out. What does it mean, really, that he didn’t ask for it back? “You coming?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You vaguely register him gather his things and follow you out, leaving the raucous party behind you. As you’re leaving, you spot Riki, who’s entering the house with a slight limp. Weird.

You walk down the empty street, the only sound being your footsteps and a few crickets in the bushes. It’s a good time to gather your thoughts, sort your emotions out before you have to talk to Soobin. He’s ridiculously perceptive, and sooner or later he’s gonna notice something’s off.

“Can I ask you a question?”

You jump, feet faltering as you turn to look at him. “Y-yeah?”

“How long have you been with Sunoo?”

This time, you come to a complete stop. “Come again?”

Soobin sighs. “I know, Y/n. You kept staring at him, and he kept staring back.”

“...did he now.”

You wrap your arms around your stomach, looking away. Soobin gets the hint, grimacing slightly. “Didn’t end well, huh?”

That’s all it takes for you to start spilling everything to him. To his credit, he doesn’t seem very judgemental of you, although you can’t really tell from the look on his face. “It’s just…people would say things about us, you know? It’s easier to maintain the status quo than it is to go public with him. So we ended things.”

“So you ended things with him because you didn’t want a taste of his world, and he didn’t want one of yours either?”

“Something like that.”

Soobin is silent for a moment, as if he’s trying to think of what to say. “So at the end of the day, it was pride.”

“What?’

He shrugs. “Pride. You were both too proud to give up what you’d built. In his case, it was his social standing. Yours was your good girl title.” Before you can even protest, he slaps a hand over your mouth. “Deny it all you want, but you know I’m right.”

His statement doesn’t warrant a reply, you know that. He knows you’re not the kind to change your mind easily, but he can at least make you think. And thinking you are. Soobin isn’t wrong, really. In fact, he basically summarised the whole conversation you had with Sunoo, with a lot more honesty. It’s not very comforting.

As you walk on, the music from the house drops to a soft thrumming, as though it’s saying goodbye. Walk on. Walk on, and don’t look back.

(You looked back once. Then never again.)

a/n pt 2 ➭ YO IF U GOT THIS FAR CONGRATS LMAO thanks for reading!! @stariikis i love u <3 im delivering the nishimura fanservice. tbh idk why i picked soobin, ig he suits the vibes??? couldn’t use the rest of enha cus they all have parts in this series lol. hope u liked this!!!!

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another-lost-mc · 3 months

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AGHJHJJ I NEW BRAINROT FOUND

HAZBIN HOTEL X OBEY ME????

WHAT IF ALASTOR IS FEM!MC'S BFF LIKE REALLY CLOSE THAT PPL THINKS THEY'RE A COUPLE BUT THEY'RE NOT (ig, no one rlly knows) , ACKKKK HOW DOES THE OC'S THINK ABT IT

LETS BEGIN

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU TAKE THIS TWELVE INCH DI—

THE BRAIN ROT IS REAL! Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are both amazing in their own ways.

I've thought about a HH x OM crossover before and I treat it the same way I do the other demon/hell-based crossovers with selfships/characters I like. I could go into a whole tangent about integrating those different power structures into the existing OM universe but I should probably leave that for another post.

Anyway!

Let's pretend that Alastor has a similar rep in the OM universe as he does in Hazbin Hotel - he's charismatic and mysterious, yet the rumors about his ruthless and power-hungry nature are alarming at best and terrifying at worst. He can be quite monstrous, like any proper sinner demon should be.

Of course, the rest of MC's acquaintances/friends/lovers would be concerned if MC suddenly started hanging out with a demon like him. Alastor is kind to MC - too kind, perhaps. Why is he suddenly interested in befriending a random human like MC, when he could just as easily try to win Solomon's favour instead? It's all very suspicious at the beginning, but the more time they spend together, the worse it seems. MC doesn't understand why their other friends don't like him no matter how much they reassure everyone that their impressions of Alastor are wrong or misguided.

Even if Alastor's motives for being close to MC are platonic only, the other demons in MC's social circle still question whether or not he can be trusted.

KARASU: Alastor doesn't like TV and I can't see him liking the D.D.D. or internet technology either. He might use it sparingly if necessary, but I think he'd prefer to remain disconnected from it as much as possible. He probably doesn't even have his own D.D.D. and that makes it more challenging for a tech-savvy demon like Karasu to learn about him or monitor his activities. He'd be extremely suspicious of Alastor befriending MC, especially since Alastor rarely uses the D.D.D. to communicate, but he doesn't know how to articulate his concerns without potentially upsetting MC in the process.

AZRA & ZEE: They've done horrible things in the past and they know all of the Devildom's most dangerous demons. The thought of MC spending time with Alastor bothers them both. Azra can be just as charming and lays it on thick when Alastor's around. The Fall even plays jazz music from the human world as a novelty event when Alastor and MC visit together. It's all a pretense to be a gracious host even though both demons know their smiles and friendly platitudes are acts they put on for MC's sake.

While Azra is doing his job and actually running his club for once, Zee's solution to the Alastor problem is more covert. He spends a lot of time monitoring MC when they spend time with Alastor in the Devildom. He also tries to track Alastor when MC isn't present, but the Radio Demon is more cautious when he's alone. He's a slippery demon to spy on, and Zee suspects he knows he's being followed.

TENEBRIS: He's one of the OCs that doesn't really hide his dislike of Alastor. He downplays it a bit for MC's sake, but he makes it perfectly clear that he's not buying whatever wholesome BFF act that Alastor is trying to sell. Alastor thinks all of MC's other demon friends are ridiculous to treat him the way they do - not that he blames them exactly, but it gets tiring dealing with their antics. Tenebris is one of the few demons that warns Alastor directly that he'll regret it if he should ever do anything to harm MC. He has the Prince's favour to protect him from potential consequences and the magical strength to follow through with his threats. Alastor actually respects him more for that, and he might consider whether or not some sort of deal with the wayward mage might be beneficial to him in the future...

#jes.replies #jes.oc asks #my oc: karasu #my oc: azra #my oc: zekhan #crossover: om x hh

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