#i spent a total 74 hours on this shit

[theactualsunshinechild]

Seems the Pankration Ring date is going well

[tempestuous-cosplay]

just cuz

Ask me these probing NSFW questions ‘cuz I’m bored

SEXYTIMES EXPERIENCES

1. How many people have you had sex with?

13? somewhere around there.

2. Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with?

if I try hard enough, yeah, but off the cuff, no

3. With whom did you first do the sexytimes? Was it good?

My first Bf, and hahahaha no. Not at all.

4. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

a close friend and i took MDMA and fucked for, like, 4 hours and it was lovely.

5. What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?

this guy i banged in collage who was just bony, small, boring, and ignored me after.

6. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?

In a tent? Or the time in a church.

7. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated?

I don't have any fun or interesting stories about that.

8. Have you ever been caught doing the sexytimes?

NOPE

9. If you masturbate, when did you start, and how?

around middle school or early highschool but it was very rare bc i didn't get much from it. But the first time I actually orgasmed was when I hit 22 and got on T. then jacking it became a regular thing.

10. Have you ever been caught masturbating?

My dad walked in right before I was about to get started. that was the worst.

QUEER SHIT

11. How would you describe your sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.)?

weird and complicated but friendly

12. Have you ever been in a queer relationship?

a solid 95% of my relationships have been queer. Only 1 wasn't.

13. Have you ever been in a straight relationship?

Just one. Gross

14. How and when did you realise you weren’t straight?

the moment i knew it was something that was possible. so very early.

15. Are you out to everyone you know?

p much

16. Where do you meet queer folks to date? Do you find it difficult?

I don't really date. But I made my friends through cosplay and then by meeting their friends and it just keeps going.

17. If your parents know about your sexuality, how did they react?

They always knew. I never really "Came out". I have p chill parents

18. Does your best friend know about your sexuality? How did they react?

Duh. I've slept with a number of them.

19. Describe your first queer kiss.

Much better than my first straight kiss.

20. What’s the queerest shit you’ve ever done?

My queer platonic partner :3

LET’S GET PHYSICAL

21. Are you happy with your body?

happier than i was and on my way to making it exactly how I want. Tho i do wish I was taller.

22. What’s the raddest part of your bod, and why?

my eyes are very pretty

23. What do you do with your body hair (pubes, underarms, legs, etc.)?

I don't do jack shit. Im lazy

24. Do you have stretch marks? Where?

Some where my tits used to be, inner thighs, and my love handles.

25. Describe your nipples in too much detail.

theyre kinda lopsided bc of how they were reattached during top surgery. the right one is super sensitive to touch and its kinda painful bc NERVE DAMAGE and the left one is totally numb

26. (Vagina-owners) Do you have an “innie” (small, tucked-in inner labia), or an “outie” (more visible/larger inner labia)?

supper innie. I, like, don't have an inner labia at all. Its WEIRD

27. (Vagina-owners) Is it very obvious when you’re turned on (swelling, wetness etc.)?

Yeah bc my clit is HUGE now thanks to T. It gets HARD

28. (Penis-owners) Describe the size and shape of your penis. Are you happy with it?

its, like, an inch an a half long and really small :3. I like it

29. (Penis-owners) Have you tasted your own cum? Did you like it?

Yeah, its kinda tart

30. (Breast-owners) How does the size of your breasts compare? Is one bigger than the other?

Back when I had them, the left one was a lil bigger than the right one, but i had huge badonkers. Just MASSIVE. They were nearly perfect, but they were on me, so it was horrible.

SEXUAL FANTASY LAND

31. Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy.

consensual non-consent in fiction. I don;t think i could do it IRL.

32. Do you fantasise more about real situations, or imaginary/impossible ones?

It fluxuates, but mostly its very fantasy.

33. Who’s the oddest person you’ve fantasised about?

The Devil from The Arcana

34. Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose?

it fluxtuates, but horny daydreams are common

35. Do you always fantasise while you masturbate?

sometimes, yeah

36. When you fantasise, does it usually lead to masturbation?

it actually doesn't more than it does.

37. Have you ever had sex with someone while fantasising about someone else?

nah

38. Do you have any celebrity crushes that you fantasise about?

Hozier has had more than one sex dream in my head.

39. Have you ever fantasised about something by accident, and felt weird about it after?

oh sure. thats p normal.

40. Describe your most sexy fantasy.

hah, no. THats too much to type.

KINKTOWN USA

41. How do you feel about BDSM?

im fine with it

42. What’s your most unusual kink?

probably being a living sex doll

43. In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it?

Im not the biggest fan of either but I would rather receiving bc im too scared of accidentally really hurting someone

44. Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither?

Im a sub leaning switch.

45. Describe your most recent bondage experience.

got tied up in cosplay for a photoshoot.

46. In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as “daddy,” “mommy,” or any similar term?

nope but i've been called daddy

47. Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, tears, cum, etc.)?

cum, blood, and spit to a small degree.

48. Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively?

not yet tbh.

49. Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of?

nah, not really

50. How much money have you spent on equipment for your kinks (toys, whips, chains, etc.)?

OOF!!! A good several hundred dollars. Like...... its a fairly high number.

COME FOR THE QUESTIONS, STAY FOR THE SUBHEADINGS

51. (Vagina-owners) Do you ever squirt when you come?

I have a few times!!

52. Have you ever come solely from penetration (anal or vaginal)?

no, that I haven't managed.

53. Can you have an orgasm without your genitals being touched?

HAH I WISH but no

54. Describe how you like your genitals to be touched.

Nice slow strokes on my clit like a dick with some gentle rubbing on the lips.

55. How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on?

One is numb and one is very painful. So no.

56. Do you find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation?

Jacking it. I almost never cum with a partner. Sex is more for bonding than personal pleasure tbh.

57. Have you ever had an orgasm that you weren’t expecting?

A few times, yeah!!

58. Do you get off easier from rough contact, or gentle?

rough ish??

59. What’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had?

the few times ive squirted.

60. Did it take you a while to have your first orgasm, or were you an early starter?

took until i was 22

ORAL FIXATION

61. Do you enjoy giving oral sex? Why?

YES!! Its a good mouth feel.

62. What’s your favourite position in which to receive oral?

not sure yet.

63. Describe your oral sex technique.

suck and wiggle. suck and wiggle

64. Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different?

theyre about the same amount of effort for me.

65. Describe the worst oral sex you’ve ever received.

too much teeth.

66. Describe the best oral sex you’ve ever received.

I was..... on some drug or another, can't remember what, and bro, i mELTED

67. Do you ever simulate oral sex while masturbating (sucking on dildos etc.)?

rarely but sometimes

68. How sensitive is your mouth? Is it an erogenous zone, for you?

not much? but its fine

69. Do you like 69ing?

never tried, not super interested

70. Can you deep-throat?

anything smaller than 6" yeah.

EVERYTHING BUTT

71. Do you like it in the butt?

yeah but it takes a lot for me to be willing to do it.

72. What’s the strangest object you’ve had in your butt?

a phallic shaped kite handle (I was young and stupid)

73. Do you enjoy being rimmed?

sure

74. Can you take a lot in your butt, or just a little?

just a lil

75. Describe your most recent experience with buttsex.

I was, again, on drugs a little under a year ago and let my best friend pop that particular cherry.

76. Do you like doing stuff to other people’s butts?

im indifferent leaning on rather not.

77. (Prostate-owners) Have you ever received a prostate massage?

nope

78. Do you own any buttplugs?

nope

79. Have you ever had an embarrassing buttsex experience?

not yet, hopefully never

80. Have you ever pegged someone (ie., worn a strapon and fucked them in the butt)?

not yet

SHARING IS CARING

All questions assume you’ve done group sex of some kind

81. Describe your most recent group sex experience.

got one coming up in about a week? but an orgy at a furry convention.

82. Have you ever had sex with more than two people at once (eg., foursome, moresome)?

sure have

83. Have you ever had an orgy? Would you?

yup, and YUP!!!

84. Do you enjoy watching your partner(s) having sex with others?

ehehehe yeh

85. Do you prefer to arrange group sex beforehand, or allow it to happen organically?

both are fine!

86. Have you ever felt left out during group sex?

nah, im too sexy for that

87. Have you ever done a gangbang (ie., lots of people have sex with one person, but not each other)?

not yet but i WANNA

88. Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus?

not yet :O,,,, WAIT!!! YEAH I HAVE!!!!

89. Have you ever been penetrated by more than one person at the same time?

not yet but god I wanna

90. Have you ever been ejaculated on by more than one person at the same time?

not yet

**BONUS DARES**

100. Send me $500.

[eddiemxnsons]

PROMPT/SITUATION LIST (1)

If interested, you can select one or more of these following prompts/situations to integrate into your Band of Brothers request!

PROMPTS !

(NOT ALL ARE MINE!)

BORDERLINE SEXUAL/FLIRT/NSFW

1. "I'm the captain of the girls Track and Field team and Cross Country team, but I can also be fast and dominating in other departments."

2. "Bite me", "If you insist"

3. "You're not very intimidating"

4. "Drop the attitude"

5. "We're just friends", "Friends don't nonchalantly do this sort of shit"

6. "Really? You want to have sex here...now?"

7. "Do you like that? Me being in control?"

8. "You wanted me to walk in on you"

9. "I dare you"

10. "Watch me"

11. "Don't test me"

12. "Don't be a smartass"

13. "Try to stay quiet for me. Can you do that?"

14. "Is that the best you can do?"

15. "Wanna bet?"

16. "Do not tempt me"

17. "We're in public, you know"

18. "Do you think they could hear us", "Yes we can"

19. "Quick, fucking hide in that closet"

20. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad"

21. "Hurry up"

22. "Wow, I didn't know your were that flexible"

SITUATIONS

1. Good morning kiss

2. In secret kiss

3. Against a wall kiss

4. Standing outside in the rain

5. Injury/death of character or reader

6. Going to meet his family/taking him to meet yours

7. Rainy morning spent in bed

8. Back hugs

9. Long embraces

10. Stroking their thumbs over the back of the other’s hand whilst holding hands

11. Softly stroking their cheek with their thumb

12. Jealous kisses

13. Distracting kisses

14.

ANGST/SOFT/GENERAL

1. "Fuck you"

2. "What's the point?"

3. "You're family, I could never

leave you behind"

4. "I've got you"

5. "I need you"

6. "I care about you"

7. "I'm just looking out for you"

8. "You make me feel alive. For the first time in awhile, it feels like I can truly breathe"

9. "I'd feel a lot better if you just let me walk you home"

10. "If I asked you to stay, would you?"

11. "I'm not a damsel in distress. I'm a damsel at doing damage"

12. "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions"

13. "It wasn't your fault"

14. "You're wrong and I'll prove it"

15. "There's so much blood"

16. "I actually found it in the

recycling bin behind the building"

17. "I can't do anything right"

18. "Don't tell me to relax!"

19. "Quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

20. "You aren't the boss of me"

21. "What gives you the right?"

22. "How is this my fault?"

23. "I don't care"

24. "Control your anger or you'll have me to worry about"

25. "I can't see anything"

26. "Don't look"

27. "All I want is a happy ending"

28. "__! Open the door"

29. "You lied to me"

30. "Marry me"

31. "I'm not going anywhere"

32. "Take my hand"

33. "Let me help you"

34. "It's okay, I'm here"

35. "Hear that? I'm alive, I'm right here with you"

36. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

37. "What the fuck were you thinking? You could have been killed"

38. "You need to rest"

39. "I can't feel my legs"

40. "Lucky shot"

41. "You're not going to die on me"

42. "__! Take my hand!"

43. "Take me instead"

44. "Don't touch her/him"

45. "Let her/him go"

46. "You're jealous"

47. "Watch me"

48. "You're dead"

49. "Am I going to die?"

50. "We found you crying. What happened?"

51. "Nothing ever goes right"

52. "Where is he/she?"

53. "This is all your fault"

54. "Wake up"

55. "I would rather die"

56. "I feel so sick"

57. "It burns/hurts"

58. "God must hate me"

59. "You shouldn't have gone by yourself"

60. "Get out of my way"

61. "You don't need to worry about me"

62. "Is that blood?"

63. "I can't say I'm surprised"

64. "Isn't that illegal?"

65. "I'll be with you the whole time"

66. "I don't wanna hurt you"

67. "I keep seeing his/her face"

68. "I didn't want to make you do this"

69. "Did you do this to yourself?"

70. "You have the emotional capacity of a brick"

71. "Shut up for a second, would you?"

72. "Are you wearing my shirt?"

73. "I want to marry you"

74. "I saw that. You just checked me out"

75. "You look awful"

76. "What happened last night?"

77. "I want you to be happy"

78. "If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"

79. "Do me a favor and break my nose"

80. "She/he is the star athlete"

81. "You owe me a drink"

82. "Please tell me you feel the same way"

83. "I'm in love with my best friend"

84. "You look stunning"

85. "You're so fucking amazing"

86. "You're burning up"

87. "I've got your back"

88. "I don't like the way they look at you"

89. "I took NyQuil instead of DayQuil on accident and am about to pass out"

90. "I totally let you win, I mean, look at who you're up against"

91. "Shit, that's a lot of blood"

92. "Don't give me that look"

93. "Am I scaring you?"

94. "Hey, you demon fuck"

95. "My thing is, I don't give a shit"

96. "You've always been trouble"

97. "God, you're pretty"

98. "Does it hurt?"

99. "I love it when you laugh"

100. "You shouldn't have done that"

101. "I'm here, baby"

102. "I'm seriously not that drunk"

103. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

104. "So I just realized...that I was shot"

105. "I don't necessarily hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink it instead"

106. "You love him/her don't you?" "Was is that obvious?"

107. "Are you okay?"

108. "Don't just stand there"

109. "Stop it, you're bleeding"

110. "I waited for you for hours"

111. "Dance with me"

112. "You little shit"

113. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry"

114. "Put the gun down"

115. "The blood says otherwise"

116. "I'd kiss you but it presently seems inappropriate to do so"

117. "Then marry me"

118. "Let's be honest, we/you got lucky"

119. "You having fun down/up there?"

120. "You're safe"

121. "You don't have half a chance, bitch"

122. "I have a hole in my side", "Pardon?", "I got shot"

123. "Stay quiet and don't fucking move"

124. "You look good today"

125. "Stop being difficult"

126. "Yeah, yeah, you're cute, now stop with that with shit-eating grin"

127. "Tell me I'm wrong"

128. "I'm only here to establish an alibi"

129. "I need a favor — not the sexual kind"

130. "Why can't I see you?"

131. "Help is on the way. You just have to stay awake a little bit longer"

132. "Do you want to die?"

133. "I'm fully capable of kicking your ass"

134. “Can you shut up for once in your life?”

135. “You’re jealous”

136. “I’m telling you. I’m haunted”

137. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion”

138. “It’s six o’ clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka”

139. “Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming”

140. “Excuse me?”

141. “Can I kiss you?”

142. “You really thought I was dead?”

143. “God, I love your face.”

144. “I love it when you’re a mess!”

145. “I just want you to be happy.”

146. “I can’t imagine my life without you”

147. “Stop being a fucking dick”

148. “You weren’t there...why weren’t you there”

149. “Do you think?”

150. “Now it’s over....I don’t really know what to do”

151. “Don’t look”

152. “I can’t see anything”

153. “What’s happening?”

154. “Get away from me!”

155. “Whatever you do, don’t open your eyes”

156. “Somebody help me/us, please”

157. “Thank you for staying with me”

158. “Your eyes are so pretty”

159. “Get over here, you doof”

160. “You’re so needy”

161. “Kiss me again”

162. “I don’t care”

163. “That isn’t an option”

164. “What did you just say to me?”

165. “Let go of me”

166. “You aren’t the boss of me”

167. “Do I make myself clear?”

168. “Excuse me?”

169. “How is this my fault?”

170. “Why are your eyes so red?”

171. “Are you afraid to die?”

172. “Want some company?”

173. “Are you warm enough?”

174. “What’s the point?”

175. “I’m not afraid to die, just wish I could live a little first”

176. “I trust you with my life”

177. “I need you to live”

178. “You make me want to live”

179. “You’re worth more than this”

180. “You’re bleeding”

181. “You’re allowed to be upset about what happened to you”

182. “Please, let me help you”

183. “You have me”

184. “Just rest”

185. “I’ve got you, you’re safe”

186. “Why kill them with kindness when you can kill them with fire?”

187. “I bet you can’t jump high enough to reach the ceiling”, “try me”

188. “__, wake up!” “I’m not asleep. I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out”

189. “You’ll have to forgive __, she/he has a heart condition. He doesn’t have one”

190. “But if you’re here, who’s guarding Hades?”

191. “It’s freezing, come here”

192. “Say it again”

193. “Kiss me again”

194. “You were always sure of yourself”

[artsyhamsterdraws]

My first Artist alley experience

So I did it. I survived! Can I get a wahoo yeehaw boiiiiii

*cough*

Anyway I wanted to write a "lil" thing about it all, like how it went, what I learned and shit like that. So here we go~

The convention I've been going to for a while now (3 times if you count this one) is called Närcon summer, and it's a "bit of everything" convention in Linköping (sweden) that happens every summer, but they also have one in the winter and fall as well, tho I've never been to those. (I want to try and get to Närcon Winter this time if it's possible).

It's pretty big. Apparently this year they got about 12.500 visitors over the weekend, so I got to meet a lot of people!

So, how was it?

Well if I wanna be short and straight to the point, it was amazing. I had so much fun and I can't wait to return!

Long answer? Well this one will go through the whole experience from start to finish. So buckle up kiddos this might get boring.

So for me it started even before the convention opened it's gates. During it I had decided to try and sell sketchbook commissions for 50 sek (like 5 bucks), because (1): It meant I would have something to do and wouldn't just have to sit at my table and stare off into space, and (2): Seemed fun.

I then decided to try and start selling them before the convention started, so that some people could come and pick them up day 1 if they wanted to. This worked, way better than expected. In the end I had 5 drawings to make before I even got there.

Here also comes the first thing I learned!

If you sell it for cheap, some people will tip you once they see the final result!

Not everyone paid extra, but I had a couple do it and that seriously almost brought tears to my eyes :')

I had reasons for selling them for so little, but I know that it was way too cheap considering the amount of time I put into each of those drawings. I just felt that; since basically no one knows who I am and this is my first time having a table, this would be a good way to get my name and work out there.

I mean, it did work since I sold 13 of them in total? Over 3 days? (I've never drawn that many things in such a short amount of time ever before).

At first I thought I wouldn't be able to sell more commissions once I got there since I already had 5 of them to do (3 of which I managed to finish before I got there). But apparently I can be fast if I need to? Suddenly they were all just...done and I opened up the commissions again!

Here are a couple of them that I remembered to take pics of:

It was a mix of fanart, original things and OC´s! Some of them I actually wanna make digital versions of cause I think they would look cool...

Once I got there I had to face one of my fears...my neighbors...  I had no idea what so ever who I would be seated with so I was afraid these upcoming 3 days would be filled with awkward silence and avoiding eyecontact. BUT! And that's a huge but (hehe)! They were great. Literally first second I met them I was like "yeah this is going to be fine".

We had so much fun, and once it got late we would sing Abba songs, and today I feel sorry for the people that had to listen to us... :P

I hope to meet them again next närcon, but the gods probably won't put us as neighbors again. They're probable mad at us for the Abba thing...

Oh and, they're both very talented and y'all should check them out! Here are their instagrams!

Literalpleb Apeachiations

Both had a bunch of fire emblem stuff, and apeachiations had some real pretty steven universe prints I wish I could buy but I don't watch steven universe so :(

Oh and I was given amazing gifts from them!

Then I bought these 2 key..chains...rings...I can't remember the english word....

Anyway I saw the Kirby one and knew I had to get it, and then I was talked into gettin the other one (I love it and wanted it don't get me wrong. It's a joke). I have yet to play the new fire emblem because my pre-order is back home and I'm at my parents place for another couple of weeks so :(

(I bought stuff from other people as well but I'll show that at the end!)

------

Setting up the table was fun! I decided to bring my bookmarks and a couple of prints, + like 8 stickers of my hamster logo. I gave 2 of them away tho to my neighbors .

Oh and I put one of my cosplay rifles on the table as well because I decided it would be too much work carrying 2 around. x'D

It started out slow. Most people just stopped by and looked and then moved on. I sold maybe 1 print and 2 bookmarks the first day? I didn't expect much anyway since it was my first time there. Honestly I'm surprised one of my prints even got sold ^^' So I wasn't that put down by the first day...

But then it was Friday, the second day, and things started picking up! I sold out one of my prints! Someone even decided to buy that damn rifle I randomly threw on there, which was amazing. I still can't believe it?

Friday was also the day my friend and I decided to do our cosplay. I missed a couple of hours in the alley because of that, since we had to get back to the hotel and change and all. Tho we did it during the evening so that it would get colder outside and we wouldn't miss THAT much time.

The alley closed around 10pm so we left around 3 to change, got back at 7 and spent those last hours there. Once it closed we also stayed way later at the convention, just walking around and actually looking at things!

Ok back to artist alley!

------

The last day I entered the building, and then only went outside once to buy a drink. Other than that I literally sat there a whole day. 10-10. (Don't worry I had a friend with me that came and went with drinks/snacks).

This day was by far the busiest! I had figured out already that most people wait until the last day before they buy a lot, which makes sense since you want to scope out the whole place before deciding on anything. Saturday (the last day) was also probably one of the days most one-day goers chose? I don't have evidence but that's the day I would choose if I only went 1 day at least...

I decided I would have sales on the last day. For example you got a discount if you bought a whole set of bookmarks. The commissions stayed the same price tho since it was already so cheap. ^^'

In the end I sold 45 bookmarks, the rifle, all my stickers, 13 commissions and all prints except for the 2 with the woman laying in flowers :/ My poor Selma (oc). Might put those on my etsy? I still have bookmarks there btw! Even though I sold a lot those did not sell out. xD

-------

Now, the last day was also the day I bought stuff from others. I decided not to buy anything from the big shops in the other building, and only spent my money on food and artist alley stuff!  Gotta support em fellow artists ya know!

I already listed the things I bought from my neighbors, but I went outside of our little hidden away corner too (I did not pay extra for like a good seat heh...).

I had table 74 (in the upper right corner)...so yeah we were very hidden. Considering the bad spot my table did very well!

Anyway, Here's the cool shit I bought!

The artists' Instagrams:

Linn Standal (Cinnapai)

Emma Lupine

Linda Lithén

I also picked up a bunch of business cards from people I couldn't buy from this time...

-----

So then. What did I learn for next time? Weeeeell...let's make a list I guess!

If you sell commissions for cheap, some people will tip you once they see the final result! (These people are very kind)

The first day is slow. Don't panic!

You always need to bring more business cards than you think. I thought I had enough but nope, they were gone halfway past the second day :/

Next time I'll bring more prints. (Only brought 2 of each, except for the spirited away one. Of that I had 4)

People make cute sounds when they see something they like :'D

Hhhh people are so kind!

Take pictures of your damn commissions!

Bring more drawing paper. (I had to buy a new sketchbook the last day cause I had like...one empty page left)

Leave a sketchbook on the table for people to look through

You're not as bad as you think you are.

People are very kind

Put the commission sign in the middle where it's easy to see it. A lot of people didn't see mine before I moved it.

Putting a sign saying "only one left" on an almost sold out item is good.

Keep track of which prints get the most people to stop. Make note of this and order more of them for next time.

Also take notes whenever someone buys something, so you know how much you sold!

Find something you can hang your prints on so you don't have to lay them on the table. There's not as much space as you think there is.

EAT!!! FFS!!!

Write down your instagram on your business card! (I forgot I had one xD)

Aaaand I think that's that?

Like I said, I had an amazing time and I really hope to do something like this again very soon! Hopefully I'll have time and money to get to Närcon winter. I'll at least try and grab myself a table just in case, and sell it if I can't go in the end. I probably won't cosplay there tho and only focus on artist alley. ^^'

Well, how the fck did you read all this? Impressive. I am impressed. Here's a picture of my cat as a price!

Bye!

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E1 (Jan 16, 2018)

Tonight’s guests are Liam O’Brien, Taliesin Jaffe, Travis Willingham, and Laura Bailey!

There will be a new-season makeover for the Talks Machina intro video, coming soon (also illustrated by @wendydoodles).

Announcements: issue 4 of the comic to be released Jan 24, teaser poster for sale, definitely not changing the name of the show.

Full character artwork by @ornerine released! Everyone agrees that she was a great pick for the official artwork.

When asked for notes, Travis was really specific about Fjord’s bracers and dinged-up armor. He’s near 30 but “has lived a hard-earned 30 years”. “That red rope? I took it off of some curtains.”

Mollymauk’s official pronouns are he/him but Taliesin figures he would be chill with anything. His note? “I would like to cause cosplayers to have a nervous breakdown.” The pendant is very specific, as are a lot of the symbols. The robe is embroidered silk.

Travis did not realize Nott’s face was a mask at first. Liam requested that Nott’s ears be hidden away for Silhouette Watch, just to keep fans guessing.

Laura on Beau: “You can see how drunk she is based on those half-lidded eyes.” Brian: “I think people will finally understand that there’s a difference between Marisha and Keyleth this time around.”

Laura on Caleb: “Liam, look at that. He looks like he rolled in shit.” Liam had to request a messier look for the art three separate times. Frumpkin looks clean because he hangs out in a pocket dimension.

Laura points out the jewelry on Jester’s tail. Laura and Taliesin realize they both did the horn-to-ear decorative chain thing. Laura originally wanted bells on her horns and tail, but realized it would be a stealth concern. The freckles were Laura’s idea---originally the art was very elegant, and Laura requested more “cute and awkward”.

Travis on Yasha: “That is a bottle of trouble right there.” Brian is a little smug about knowing her backstory and hints that a lot of stuff on Yasha’s person has specific significance.

Travis rolled a natural 20 as the last roll of the last campaign... and the first roll of the new campaign. He also rolls a nat20 as the first die roll in the intro! (Everyone jokes that Taliesin had to roll it for him.)

@critrolestats is back! 215 gold spent in C1E1. Coin spent in C2E1? 4 silver.

Total damage to defeat Vecna: 1,890 damage. Total damage to defeat this week’s undead creature: 74 damage.

Last time Sam sang “I Will Always Love You” was in episode 55.

Laura edits all the thumbnails for the episodes. “The amount of Sam crotch happening in those group shots is so offensive.”

The shot in the opening credits that took the longest was the wind blowing. Brian: “Can we talk about Taliesin casting an actual spell in that opening?” Taliesin: “No, we can’t.”

Everyone likes the seating arrangement, but everyone was also so disoriented during the game that it was hard to even process the change.

Liam and Laura went for lunch together and tried only talking in their new accents. Everyone expects to take a few episodes to settle into the new accents.

Generally, everyone was trying to sit with new people, allowing for some seating based on the episode-zero interactions.

Mollymauk has barely changed from the version of the character Taliesin came up with as a backup for Percy after episode 68. “Percy is one aspect of my personality [...] I would love to play with this part of my reality a bit.” He originally wanted Molly to do a show about the Terrible Tinker of Tal’Dorei.

Laura brought Jester back from the one-shot she played with Kinda Funny because even back then she had a lot of ideas for the character.

Travis decided against a werewolf character because so many people were pushing for it that he felt like there wouldn’t be a surprise. He really wanted to cast a spell after five years without casting. He looked at eldritch knight and paladin, but liked the imagery associated with warlocks, and the Hexblade’s sentient weapon won him over.

Travis played his session zero intending to do a normal voice and he didn’t enjoy the experience at all, especially when Laura and Marisha had such distinctive voices. He did a recording session 48 hours before the game where he had to do a Texan accent and just decided to go for it.

Liam started thinking about Caleb’s accent a few months earlier when Matt talked a bit about the inspirations behind Wildemount.

Taliesin and Laura both wanted to play a lavender tiefling with a sickle sword and an eastern European accent, so they split it up. Taliesin felt like he couldn’t fast-talk as well until he got the Irish accent going. Laura picked the accent because she was especially comfortable with doing it naturally, which helps a lot with improv.

Liam points out that it’s going to take a few episodes for everyone to settle into character choices and stay consistent; things will probably shift for a while. Travis accidentally called Taliesin “Percy” (not in a character sense) right before the show started. It’s going to take a bit to get used to the change.

Travis really wants to dress up as Fjord and was thinking about that cosplay when he picked the race (but hints that there’s more info coming). He was looking at tabaxis and was like, “Do I really want to put a cat nose on?”

Liam knew he wanted to be a wizard for a while but hadn’t picked a race yet until he realized everyone else was going really outside-the-box, so he opted to go human.

Session zero game details: Jester was one failed saving throw away from death and Fjord saved her by giving up his healing potion. Caleb also almost died. More details will be forthcoming in-game, probably. (The sessions were not recorded.)

Sam and Liam decided to team up for their session zero a few months ago. Taliesin had the circus and invited anyone to join that session; Marisha considered but wound up switching. Travis and Laura already knew each other’s character backstories, so they found a way for them to intersect, and it made sense in-context for Marisha to join in.

Jester and Fjord have known each other about a week longer than they’ve known Beau, but they’re all pretty fresh acquaintances; not even close to a year.

Caleb and Nott have known each other for longer than the trio have: for months. Liam describes their relationship as “a very new friendship”.

The carnival troupe members were mainly Matt’s creation but there was a bit of back-and-forth with Taliesin in developing their relationships (and many were based on people they knew).

Fanart of the week!

Travis wants Fjord to talk to Nott and Caleb more. (”Can’t say why.”) Molly already doesn’t like Beau, but the tieflings want to chat with each other a lot more (Jester also wants to talk more with Nott). Liam points out that despite being the quietest, Caleb and Fjord have the highest charisma, so they might end up acting as the negotiators. Laura points out, in Jester’s voice, that some people might blunder in without realizing they have low charisma.

Laura likes organizing and keeping track of things, which is the main reason it bugs her to no longer be treasurer; she has no problem making bad decisions with money in the game, but not getting to write it down bothers him.

Mollymauk’s deck is an original creation of Taliesin’s, still in progress. He worked with his brothers (one makes games and one DMs) to start putting it together.

Laura got Taliesin an experimental fortune-telling deck for Christmas.

Liam and Sam were brainstorming, and Liam brought up goblin rogue as an idea alongside a bunch of other ideas, and Sam shrugged it off, then decided on it after all and proclaimed that Liam chose his character.

Travis is having some trouble removing the Grog-filter of what he wasn’t able to do at INT 6. Everyone’s still developing the way their characters work.

Both tieflings have humanoid legs rather than goat legs to make it easier on cosplayers. Laura points out that Jester is already pretty far over on the humanoid scale.

Everyone was most surprised by Sam’s accent. Travis was surprised at Taliesin’s shit-stirring right out of the gate, while Liam and Laura expected it. Liam wasn’t expecting Ashley to be so intense and creepy. Brian: “That’s a lot closer to how she is in real life. You cut her off on the 405...”

Travis picked the falchion just because he saw the picture while flipping through the PHB and it really spoke to him. He looked up a lot of pictures and found a stout and straight one with a curved, sharp tip, and really liked the look of it.

Jester’s deity hasn’t changed from the Kinda Funny one-shot.

“How does it feel to be starting in prison again?” Taliesin: “Feels like coming home.” Molly really doesn’t like cops. “He’s never going to keep his mouth shut.”

Frumpkin was the name of Liam’s cat when he was four. Travis is horribly allergic to cats in real life. Just at the thought of a cat, his nose started to tickle, and it was inevitable that Fjord would be allergic. He did have a cat growing up: “Once she slept on my face. I went to the hospital.”

The different accents and seating make it easier for Liam and Laura to keep from slipping into being twinnies. Liam points out that they’ll always be twinnies, and everyone immediately notices that they’re sitting exactly the same way.

Laura is offended by Sam’s lack of dice, especially with sneak attack damage. She’s told him he’s not allowed to touch any of the dice she’s already sorted. Liam promises to buy him a box of d6s.

Is Laura worried about being the only one with healing right now? “I’m not worried about it at all. I’m very good at healing. We’re safe. ...no, we’re fucked. I only have three spell slots.”

Liam won’t talk about why he picked transmutation, but he’s really excited to get into a support/tactician role as a spellcaster.

Talks Machina Becomes The Darkness on Alpha:

The group hasn’t really figured out battle tactics yet (apart from Laura knowing she should hang back after almost dying). Everyone’s really feeling the lack of a bard... and the lack of magic earrings.

The main reason Taliesin keeps going for Matt’s homebrew classes is because he played a lot of D&D as a kid and wants to do something new.

Everything stops when Laura points out that she and Liam are sitting the same way again.

Travis refuses again to answer why Fjord doesn’t have the half-orc tusks.

Liam is tasking himself to be a more responsible thinker at the table, less impulsive, because it suits Caleb’s character more. Travis feels like Fjord’s tactical potential is currently hampered by not really knowing the rest of the team yet. Liam: “I do promise to make real bad decisions, just in a different way.” Taliesin high-fives him for that one.

The minis were designed before the character art came out. Liam’s favorite mini of the new bunch is Nott.

Gilmore wasn’t a source of inspiration for Molly, but they have a lot in common. “They’re both characters who have spent time externalizing a lot of internal stuff.” The name came from the movie Lord Love a Duck, which Taliesin’s grandfather directed.

Everyone had to really strongly justify their character-building choices related to their backstory to Matt. Taliesin wanted a tenuous connection to the last campaign, but Matt nixed it. Liam feels like he got to do exactly what he wanted to do.

Everyone feels like Laura and Liam were the most prepared. Liam says he was scared to death, but he thought Laura was right in the groove from the start. Each of them had a moment where the shock wore off enough to feel like they had a glimpse of what the rest of the campaign was going to be.

125,000 viewers on the new episode (on all platforms), which is way higher than it’s ever been. They’re very nervous knowing the numbers.

[shortqueershakespeare]

Do all the asks! Hope you had a good Christmas!! <3

In ausOkay here goes, all the asks from the end of 2020

1. How many lockdowns did you go through until now? 

I actually can’t remember if I was in one or two in the UK, because I barely changed my habits, I stayed in my house throughout lockdown and non-lockdown. But either 2 or 3.

2. Ever been quarantined? (contact person, waiting for test result or positive test result) 

Yep, right before the start of UK lockdown one because of possible symptoms in my household and once in Austria now. 

3. Ever taken a Corona test? 

Yup, I took one, a gargle test.

4. Have you lived together with someone during lockdown?

Yep, lockdown in the UK with my dad and sister, in Austria with my flatmate.

5. Something you enjoyed about lockdown? 

Spending more time with my sister and also seeing my puppy grow up.

6. What bothered you most about lockdown? 

Not being able to hug my mum when we lost our rabbit and not being able to hug friends.

7. Which change, e.g. home office, would you like to keep once it´s all over? 

Teaching from home wouldn’t be bad to keep, also normalising wearing masks and distancing when ill.

8. Been to any Corona related demonstration? 

No.

9. On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 10 (completely), how well do you stick to government´s rules? Explain. 

In the UK I would say 10, and I did more than stick to them, I rarely left the house except for walking the dog. In Austria 7 or 8, we don’t really have the concept of bubbles here but through lockdown we had our friend in our bubble. I did also accidentally break curfew at one point.

10. Favorite lockdown activity? 

Sleeping, frankly.

11. How did the lockdown affect your work/education? 

The end of my year at uni was done at home, with take home exams and now my work is going to be distance teaching again. And of course masks and distancing at in person teaching.

12. Any new hobbies you tried out during lockdown? 

I taught myself to sew and cross-stitch!

13. Any new subscriptions you made due to lockdown? 

Disney plus!

14. Anything new you tried to learn during lockdown? 

Sewing, a few new recipes.

15. Any old hobbies you took up again during lockdown? 

I started writing a lot more again and did a lot of crafting.

16. How did you keep in touch during lockdown? 

Zoom calls, skyping, postcards.

17. Favorite mask you own? 

My rainbow one!

18. Favorite online conferencing tool? 

Teams for teaching.

19. Any new technologies and technological tools you tried out due to lockdown? 

Zoom, google meet, MS teams and a few online games.

20. Have you been able to go on any holidays this year? 

No.

21. Are Christmas markets allowed in your country? 

Sadly not:( It was part of what I was looking forward to about my year abroad and I’m genuinely gutted about it.

22. How are you going to spend Christmas in this situation? (or whatever you are celebrating!) 

I spent Christmas with my flatmate, we did polish dinner on the 24th, British Christmas on 25th and then called my family on Christmas day. I managed to make all of Christmas dinner all by myself which I was really chuffed with.

23. Any small business you support? 

Yeah, plenty of local shops.

24. Any small artist you support? 

When I find people on instagram or tumblr i try yeah! 

25. Favorite online shop?

I am in a very bath having mood so bomb cosmetics.

26. Dumbest impulse buy? 

My terrible Christmas hat.

27. First thing you bought when the shops reopened? 

Quite literally no idea, but I would assume something food related.

28. Been to the hair dresser this year? 

Nope, but I’ve been cutting my own hair for 2 or 3 years so that’s not unusual.

29. Got a new tattoo or piercing this year? 

Nope!

30. What did you only start to appreciate because lockdown took it from you? 

How easy it was to meet new people.

31. Favorite book that was released this year? 

Contacts by Mark Watson or Solutions and Other Problems by Allie Brosh.

32. Favorite book you read that year? 

The same as above.

33. Favorite movie that was released this year? 

uhhhhh bold of you to assume that I paid attention.

34. Favorite movie you watched this year? 

101 dalmatians, a classic but gave me a lot of comfort. 

35. Favorite series that was released this year? 

Staged or the Goes Wrong Show.

36. Favorite series that you watched this year? 

Same answer.

37. Favorite podcast that you listened to this year? 

Cryptid Cape or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buddha.

38. Favorite artist this year? 

Taylor Swift.

39. Total minutes on Spotify this year? 

I don’t have spotify!

40. Favorite album that was released this year?

I can’t separate folklore and evermore.

41. Favorite album that you listened to this year? 

Again, folklore and evermore.

42. Favorite song that was released this year? 

I’m gonna go with dorothea.

43. Favorite song you listened to this year?

dorothea or rainbow by dodie or Sad Girl Summer by Maisie Peters.

44. Favorite Corona related song? 

So Will I - Ben Platt.

45. What do you do to prevent yourself from going insane during lockdown? 

Sat outside and watched the stars at night listening to songs, took my dog for a walk, did some writing.

46. Describe a typical lockdown day of yours. 

I mean I’m in a kinda weird position of living with/being a kind of key worker. When I was in the UK, I would wake up at 9 to look after the pup, take her for a walk, do uni work or plan for my year abroad. Cook or help my sister cook dinner, play as a group with the puppy, then chill in the living room with family, play animal crossing. In Austria It’s been waking up half an hour before my first class, teaching, cooking and chilling.

47. Something you did during lockdown that you´ve been putting off for way too long? 

Had some proper heart to hearts with my sister and organised my year abroad.

48. Trying new baking recipes or new cooking recipes? 

Yeah! I made profiteroles and some new curries.

49. Netflix or Amazon Prime? 

Prime because you can buy stuff too, it would be netflix but my dad keeps forgetting to tell me his password.

50. Did you get Disney+? 

Yeah, I share it with a few friends.

51. Any new social media you started using during lockdown? 

Not sure actually!

52. Any trends you fell for? 

Not that I can think of?

53. Did you achieve more or less than in a normal year? Explain. 

Frankly, since November 2019 life has been utter hell so if it was less I wouldn’t be shocked but I think the tail end of the year has been pretty successful, I moved countries, signed my first rent contract and am supporting myself for the first time. But it’s kind of a mixed bag.

54. Did you start therapy this year? 

Nope.

55. Books or audio books? 

Both but I find reading really relaxing but hard to get into. I’ve read a shit ton of fanfic though.

56. Audio books or podcasts? 

Podcasts mostly.

57. Twitch or Youtube? 

Youtube.

58. Attended any online concert? 

Tessa Violet’s “the something to look forward to” tour

59. Favorite stream/streamer this year? 

I really enjoyed Mark Watson’s Watson-A-Thon and also Broadway Jackbox, the Evan Hansen one.

60. Most used social media this year? 

Either twitter or tumblr.

61. Yoga or long lone walks? 

Long lone walks.

62. Did you get a pet this year? 

Yeah! My puppy!

63. Did it snow where you live this year? 

Yeah It snowed in Vienna for one day.

64. What were you doing when you found out about the announcement of the first lockdown? 

I think I was in quarantine, looking after the dog.

65. Did you panic buy anything? 

No, I don’t think so.

66. Ever ran out of toilet paper? 

Yes. 

67. Favorite lockdown comfort food? 

Something with gravy. 

68. Selfcare tips for lockdown? 

Be gentle with yourself. Try to give yourself structure but don’t feel guilty for not being productive.

69. Did you use delivery services this year? For what kind of food? 

God yes, supermarket a few times. And also meals, kebabs a fair bit.

70. Any weird coping techniques you developed during or after lockdown? 

Not especially I don’t think.

71. Favorite game you played this year? 

Animal Crossing!

72. Favorite drink this year? 

Pornstar martinis.

73. Favorite food this year? 

Christmas Dinner.

74. Favorite App this year? 

Puzzle Page! I’ve enjoyed doing crosswords and stuff a lot.

75. Favorite memory of this year? 

Drunk dog walk with my sister in the pouring rain.

76. Any plans you had for this year that you could realize? 

Wait what does this one mean?? Any plans I COULD do? My year abroad I guess. Any plans I couldn’t - interrailing.

77. Do you even plan anything for next year? 

I still have the rest of my year abroad plan.

78. Did you find new (online) friends this year? 

Yeah - one at my uni who I didn’t know so that was nice!

79. Did you go through a break-up this year? 

No. 

80. Did you get into a new relationship this year? 

No.

81. Did you do something creative this year? Tell us about it. 

Yeah, I cross-stitched a bee, a snake and a butterfly and I also did lots of writing and a few doodles on my writing blog (lovenliterature).

82. Favorite blog you found on tumblr this year? 

A bunch of wolfstar or ballum ones - I really like @aeternumregina and @shanastoryteller too.

83. What did you buy way too much of this year? 

Take out and alcohol.

84. Did you win anything this year? 

Nope.

85. Did you drastically change your diet this year? 

Not especially, I tried to have more fruit though and I started drinking coffee.

86. Did you move to a new home this year? 

Yeah! I now live in a flat in Vienna.

87. Did you do something this year that you never did before? 

Signed rent and work contracts in another country. Also got corona.

88. Celebrity crush of the year? 

Ben Platt or Andrew Scott.

89. Most expensive thing you bought this year?

My phone!

90. Been abroad this year? 

Yep, I moved abroad.

91. Favorite tumblr trend of this year? 

Just fucking waiting for more Destiel news.

92. New Years Resolutions you broke this year?

I didn’t make any this year tbh.

93. NYRs you kept? 

Same answer.

94. NYRs you have for next year? 

Just be nicer to myself and remember to renew prescription/make doctor’s appointments sooner.

95. How are you going to spend New Years Eve? 

Drinking with my flatmate in my flat.

96. Will you get your fortune told in any way around NYE? 

No I don’t think so.

97. Any new shops (online or real) you discovered this year? 

Billa, our supermarket lol.

98. Any food you tried out for the first time this year? 

Polish Christmas food!

99. How did you celebrate your birthday this year? 

It was in Feb so had friends round and had drinks.

100. Was this ask game better or worse than 2020? 

Better

[calleditwhatitwas]

rules - answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people.

I was tagged by @poetmendes​ and @honeyyshawn​​ (*heart eyes at you guys* )

- what was your last…

1) drink - pomegranate juice

2) phone call - a girl from school for a team project

3) text message - my dad

4) song you listened to - I’ve literally only been listening to The Weeknd’s new E.P since it came out

5) time you cried - probably in the last month

- have you ever…

6) dated someone twice? - nope

7) kissed someone and regretted it? not really I don’t think

8) been cheated on? - kinda, my ex stayed with me until he was sure that the other girl he was interested in was willing to date him. I think cheating isn’t always necessarily physical, so.

9) lost someone special? - yep

10) been depressed? also yes, i was extremely depressive from age 13-16 and was on antidepressants and everything

11) gotten drunk and thrown up? - i totally did but I didn’t throw up because of the drinking per say, it was the 45 minutes highway car ride after the party that killed me

- fave colours

12) pale pink

13) white

14) black

- in the last year have you…

15) made new friends? - a few

16) fallen out of love? - i like to think i have, now.

17) laughed until you cried? - i literally always cry when i laugh it’s a curse

18) found out someone was talking about you? - yeah but it actually wasn’t in a bad way this time which makes me feel real good :)

19) met someone who changed you? - kind of?

20) found out who your friends are?-  a little, yeah. break ups sure have a way of revealing who your true friends are

21) kissed someone on your facebook friends list? - yep, my ex

22) how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? - most, probably

23) do you have any pets? - i have a lil doggy his name is stitch and he’s a shi tsu!!!

24) do you want to change your name? - not really

25) what did you do for your last birthday? - my boyfriend made me this three course meal and it was great bc the way to my heart is through my stomach

26) what time did you wake up today? 6am, sad face

27) what were you doing at midnight last night? - i was on tumblr as usual

28) what is something you can’t wait for? - all i do is wait for things. i can’t wait for university to meet new people (AKA HOT BOYS), i can’t wait to get out of uni and work in a field i love, i can’t wait to meet someone who isn’t gonna fuck me over and love me and treat me the way I deserve to, etc. etc.

29) what is your favourite animal? - dogs for sure

30) what are you listening to rn? - privilege by the weeknd

31) have you ever talked to a person named tom? - nope

32) something that’s getting on your nerves - everything. everything gets on my nerves

33) most visited website - google?

34) hair colour - my natural hair color is brown but i dye it and right now it’s a very very dark brown

35) long or short hair? - medium short I’d say

36) do you have a crush on someone? - does shawn mendes count

37) what do you like about yourself? - i like that i’m such a transparent person, in the way that i’m very honest about myself and to others. i also like how resilient i am 

38) want any piercings? - YES i have a whole vision for my future ear piercings and i’m super excited but that shit is expensive as hell

39) blood type - O+

40) nicknames - ju, juju

41) relationship status - single af

42) sign - libra!!!

43) pronouns - she/her

44) fave tv show - i love love love jane the virgin and was super into the vampire diaries back when it was a thing (like this tumblr was previously a tvd blog no kidding and 99% of my followers are tvd blogs still lmao)

45) tattoos - i had one when i was 16 which i don’t regret at all, i just wish i had spent more time choosing where i wanted to put it on my body because now that i want another one in the same place it kind of fucks it up

46) right or left handed - right

47) ever had a surgery? - yup, broke my foot a few years ago

48) piercings - i have the two usual lobe piercings and i have a conch piercing in my left ear but i’m planning to have like five more!!!

49) sport - i played soccer and ringette all of my life, but i practically tried every one there is, i was a very sporty kid

50) vacation - i’ve been to portugal to visit family but i really want to go to scandinavian countries and basically europe in general

51) trainers - pink vans

- more general

52) eating - i love pasta with a passion and anything with carbs basically

53) drinking - i love iced tea and also mcdonald’s iced coffee but i’m also really big on water like i can’t go two hours without drinking water

54) i’m about to watch - the client list

55) waiting for - a shit ton of things

56) want - shawn mendes to love me unconditionnally tbh

57) get married - yes

58) career - i’m going to uni in psychoeducation 

59) hugs or kisses - i like hugs a little more

60) lips or eyes - eyes!!

61) taller or shorter - i'm 5′’3 so there is no guy that’s shorter than me lol

62) older or younger - older, i need some fucking emotional MATURITY

63) nice arms or stomach - arms, but tbh i don’t mind a little chub, i’m chubby myself 

64) hookups or relationships - i’m a relationship hoe my baby ass literally can’t hook up with a stranger but i wish i wasn’t such a baby so badly

65) troublemaker or hesitant - my libra ass is BOTH

66) kissed a stranger - nope

67) drank hard liquor - i have

68) turned someone down - it happened 

69) sex on first date - my baby ass cannot. my baby ass literally can’t even go on a date with a stranger, let alone fuck one

70) broken someone’s heart - i have, i think.

71) had your heart broken - definitely. other than by my ex, i break my own heart like a champ all on my own

72) been arrested - nope

73) cried when someone died - i always cry in movies and tv shows when someone dies

74) fallen for a friend - no

- do you believe in

75) yourself - fuck i TRY

76) miracles - realistically i don’t they exist, but i sure wish they do

77) love at first sight - yes and no

78) santa claus - ?? no ??

79) angels - not really but kinda?

80) eye colour - dark brown

81) best friends’ name - joëlle

82) favourite movie - oh girl i can’t keep track of my favorite movies, like i love a shit ton of them but i never made a list out of them

83) favourite actor - the only one i think on top of my head rn is my favorite chick flic actor, which 100% is gerard butler he’s so hot don’t fight me on this

84) favourite cartoon - sponge bob?

85) favourite teacher’s name - last time i cared enough to have a favorite teacher was in middle school tbh

[athena1138]

I know you’re supposed to let people ask you for numbers and THEN answer, but I’m pmsing really fucking hard and struggling to hold on to the one single brain cell I have that’s keeping me from breaking down and just screaming/trashing the place. SOOOOO here’s 100 questions nobody asked me to answer. 

1. A selfie?

Two or three months old, but I like it still. 

2. How old are you?

23 1/2.

3. What is your birthday?

Nov. 2 (Day of the Dead~)

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Scorpio

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple/Teal

6. What’s your lucky number?

5

7. Do you have any pets?

I, myself, have a cat, but my mom has three dogs and my estranged cat who couldn’t move into my apartment with me but whom my mom wouldn’t let me adopt once he COULD

8. Where are you from?

Corn. (Indiana.)

9. How tall are you?

5′7

10. What shoe size are you?

11 in women’s, 9 1/2 in men’s.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Um. I just moved and got rid of a bunch, so maybe 10 total

12. What was your last dream about?

Honestly, it was a sex dream about a friend’s sister. (Let’s not explore that, shall we?) 

13. What talents do you have?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL (I write fanfiction.)

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I have a shitton of deja vu that I think comes from dreams. It never does anything productive, but eh.

15. Favorite song?

Ah shit. To listen to, Rap God. To sing, La Vie en Rose. 

16. Favorite movie?

Taming of the Shrew, the Liz Taylor version.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone with a shitton of patience and an understanding of when to walk away from me before I break down. (Also, Fenris from DA2 or Cullen Rutherford.)

18. Do you want children?

FUCK THAT

19. Do you want a church wedding?

I wouldn’t mind having a wedding in a big, beautiful church like if it had a Window(tm) yknow, but there will be ZERO religion in my service. Even then, a wedding in a church is quite low on my list. My top three wedding preferences are:  countryside (but not the kind with cowboy boots and mud and a dirt-floor barn. I mean the bougie white bitch from the city doesn’t actually wanna get dirty kind of countryside,) seaside, and in the woods (like Twilight.)

20. Are you religious?

Nah. 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I got a seatbelt ticket once and a written warning for speeding (which I’m still pissed about. I was on my way to say goodbye to my grandpa before he died.)

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Jonathan Frakes (TWICE!,) LeVarr Burton, and John DeLancie. It was supposed to be Brent Spiner in place of the 2nd Jonathan Frakes one, but with the fires in California and his son getting sick, he had to cancel. I was heartbroken. I adore him.

24. Baths or showers?

Depends on the tub. 

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Who wears socks at home in July?

26. Have you ever been famous?

When I was 13, I won second place in a national creative writing contest and 3 gold medals for state. My little hometown did a front-page article about me. It was most definitely the peak of my life. That’s about how fucking far down the barrel I am now. 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Money, yeah. Otherwise, nah. 

28. What type of music do you like?

All kinds but country. I have a special preference towards 50s ballads, lyrical rap, and 2000s summer hits like Cyclone and Right Thurr. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Ye

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

6, generally.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I have one of those pillows with the little arms on the side that I flip upside down and cuddle into like I’m sleeping on someone’s chest. I can sleep like that for hours.

32. How big is your house?

1200sqft.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Coffee

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Yes. I’m a v good shot.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes. I’m a v good shot. 

36. Favorite clean word?

Pusillanimous.

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck nugget.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

4 days.

39. Do you have any scars?

A shitton. My favorite is the pair on my forehead that form a little 01. I also have a lot of self-harm scars across my breasts that I like. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

As a joke, yeah, but I’ve never gotten like... actual honest-to-god love letters. 

41. Are you a good liar?

I used to be. I don’t see the point anymore. 

42. Are you a good judge of character?

No. I’m too eager to make friends. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

It’s not uncommon for me to accidentally do an accent from whatever show I was just watching, especially if I’m talking to myself. I can do a surprising variation on Spanish accents, but that’s also because of my Spanish linguistics class. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I have a weird accent. I say some things like I’m from Chicago (like, I say “hot dwawg”) but I say some things kind of southernish especially if I get mad, but some things I say Canadian and some British. 

45. What is your favorite accent?

Speaking English, Russian. Speaking their native language, Cuban.

46. What is your personality type?

INTP. Or, if you’re like me and don’t remember what that means, I’m a raging bitch who thinks she’s funny and tries too hard.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

My bridesmaid dress for my sister’s wedding. Fucking $460 after alterations. 

48. Can you curl your tongue?

No

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

150%

52. Favorite food?

Garlic

53. Favorite foreign food?

北京烤鸭. (Peking Duck.)

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy.

55. Most used phrased?

Cool beans///Suck a fuck. 

56. Most used word?

Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends where I’m going. Work or school, 10 minutes. To something with my family or friends, like an hour. But that’s because I just move slower, not because anything changes. 

58. Do you have much of an ego?

Yes. I’m conceited as shit. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck until they get riddled with holes. 

60. Do you talk to yourself?

60% of my verbal interactions are with myself, yes. (30% are with my pets, 10% with other people.) 

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes. 

62. Are you a good singer?

I can match pitch. That doesn’t mean I should. 

63. Biggest Fear?

Ending up bogged down with kids I don’t want in a city I hate with a job I’ve been at for 10+ years. 

64. Are you a gossip?

Yes

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I really like the remake of Steel Magnolias with Queen Latifah, and Diary of a Mad Black Woman. 

66. Do you like long or short hair?

On me, long. On others, depends. 

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

If you give me a minute and a pen, maybe. 

68. Favorite school subject?

Band/English/Science. 

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Intro. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No

71. What makes you nervous?

The future

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Only after watching a ghost movie. 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Yes

74. Are you ticklish?

Do you bruise easily? 

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Yes

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Yes

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes, but not much. I asked my boyfriend to give me a sip of his 4 Loko and fucker was like, “nooo it’s illegal.” 

78. Have you ever done drugs?

What makes the boyfriend thing funny is we had spent literally that entire summer high of our asses, but “noooo, it’s illegal for you to drink.” His method of thinking was, It’s illegal for everyone to smoke weed, so it’s fair that everybody breaks that law, but it’s only illegal for people under 21 to drink so it’s not fair.

79. Who was your first real crush?

As in, a real person? Ethan Richards, elementary. I crushed on him for 5 years. (Caleb Smith was a close second, and looking back I think maybe he liked me, too.) But I wrote Ethan a note in 5th grade telling him I liked him and he super broke my heart. 13 years later and I’m still bitching about it. 

80. How many piercings do you have?

Currently, 9. I’ve had 13 though. 

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No. I make L sounds instead, like Puerto Ricans do. 

82. How fast can you type?

150+wpm. I beat out my typing teacher in 7th grade. She gave us a party to celebrate. 

83. How fast can you run?

If I’m drunk, really fucking fast. Sober, not very. (I got wasted at a party and sprinted all the way across my apartment complex to run back to my room and help my roommate get more booze. It was incredible. I almost got hit by a car.) 

84. What color is your hair?

Brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Potentially shellfish bc everyone else in my family is. 

87. Do you keep a journal?

No

88. What do your parents do?

My dad’s dead, mom works in the registration division in a hospital. Idk what exactly. 

89. Do you like your age?

No. I’m too old to not know what I want to do in life but too young to know what I want to do in life, and I’m in debt and broke and I have no job and no prospects and everyone keeps asking me and it makes me break down and cry and

90. What makes you angry?

Stupid people. This goddamn dog. Lots of things. 

91. Do you like your own name?

Now that the “Becky” thing has subsided a little, yeah. I used to hate all versions of the name Rebecca, but I’m pretty content with Becca. Becca Eileen suits me pretty well I think. 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Psh. Even though I don’t want kids, yeah, I’ve thought of some. Most of them are ridiculous now. Fred and George for twins, Zane for a boy, Nonni for a girl, etc. Nothing I would actually choose now. 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I think assigning importance to the genitalia of my child is a fucking ridiculous and borderline disgusting thing to do. I would want a healthy child, if there were to be a child. 

94. What are your strengths?

Um. I can sleep for a really long time. 

95. What are your weaknesses?

Lol. Everything, my dude. Fucking everything. 

96. How did you get your name?

Eileen comes from my mom’s best friend in high school. Rebecca supposedly doesn’t come from anywhere, but my dad was married to a Rebecca before my mom and I think that’s just too fucking weird to forget. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I highly doubt it. 

98. Do you have any scars?

You already asked that. 

99. Color of your bedspread?

Black. It’s the Hogwarts school crest! 

100. Color of your room?

Beige. My mom wouldn’t let me pick a different color. When I get my own place that lets me color the walls, I want some nice, deep violets with an accent wall that has criss-crossed fuchsia and teal. 

[silkyandsurveys]

July 28 2017

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes I love winter 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I just fold the page 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don't take it at all 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes I'm super self conscious of my smile I used to not be until people started pointing it out 6: do you keep plants? No cause they die really easily 7: do you name your plants? No 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I write in a journal 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I love singing so much I wish I was good at it more than anything lol 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Back and side always 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? To many to list or count 12: what's your favorite planet? Neptune and Uranus ;) 13: what's something that made you smile today? I hung out with one of my sisters friends and we always have a good time 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? MESS 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! No 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Chicken alfredo always and forever 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Purple would be so cool 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Me and my two very close best friends decided to make slime and throw it at my ceiling and pieces of it are forever stuck to my ceiling. Me and my friend were peeing our pants everywhere 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I keep notebooks around that I randomly and rarely write and draw in but I have a notebook app that I frequently write in. Just about my day or my week 20: what's your favorite eye color? brown and hazel like yesss they're so pretty 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Can't say I have one 22: are you a morning person? Noooooo 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in my bed and go on my phone 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yeah kinda 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? A car at a car dealership lmao 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I used to be obsessed with toms but currently my converse 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon forever bitch 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset of course 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? She's really really smiley and I pick at her for it but it's actually really nice 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. Socks are make or break situation. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Spent 3 hours making a video star to its everyday bro by Jake Paul. All the words are engraved into my brain 33: what's your fave pastry? Cheese danish bitch 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Lamb pillow pet. Named lamby. Just look up lamb pillow pet but the fur on it is all fucked yo because my mom put it in the dryer. And yes I still have it 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? No 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? None my brain is literally white noise right now I'm so tired 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean 38: tell us about your pet peeves! There's so many I'm not abot to get into that mess 39: what color do you wear the most? Dark colors for sure 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a necklace with my name on it. Got it from my grandma I wore it a lot in seventh grade aka one of the worst years ever 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? Elenor and park 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No because I hate coffee and I'm not a hashtag Tumblr aesthetic girl so I don't go running around trying to find aesthetic coffee shopsn 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I legit don't remember 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Probably at night in a car when I was like 10 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Ok found this joke from a vine don't @ me. Anal with her made my day. But it made her hole week. Bitch I die 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Twinkies. Beef sticks. Tomatoes. Mushrooms. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Car crashes. Thunderstorms/ natural disasters. And yes 100% 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? No it's dumb I pay Apple Music 14$ a month for a reason 50: what's an odd thing you collect? I used to collect snow gloves but for some reason and somehow I have a lot of turtles from a bunch of different places. Like little turtle souvenirs 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? My crush and it's so dumb but hey Stephen by Taylor swift damn. 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? All of them 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? No.no.yes.no. Idk I haven't seen like any of them 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Ummmmm my face in the mirror idk 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Ummm not sure everything I do is dramatic so 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? It's 1am and I can't remember what endearing means 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It reminds me of glee. And ps I didn't listen to it just in my head I imagine Jessie sprinting around stage whilst Quinn gives birth so that's an image 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? My friend abby is the vodka aunt and my friend julia is the wine mom 59: what's your favorite myth? Mermaids 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? No 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Little einsteins singing toy when I was 9 years old from m great grandma. Lol love! 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? No 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? No I own like 4 books 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yeah some friends from school I miss 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Ew shut up (roses) 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Sad and gross 68: what's winter like where you live? Brutal but I <3 it 69: what are your favorite board games? Uno and spoons and don't come at me saying they're not board games because I don't care 70: have you ever used a ouija board? No im not about to release that shit in my home 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? I don't like tea but if I had to choose sweet passion green tea from Panera fucks major shit up 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? No 73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my nails. Chewing the inside of my gum and picking at the skin on my thumbs 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Awesomely cool dude 75: tell us about your pets! Annoying but cute sometimes I guess 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Sleeping 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink always 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Hateclub I would say j always have been but I'm gonna be honest and expose myself for wearing a minion shirt to school in fifth grade. Soo. 79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Ummm not sure 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Dark purple. No I did not. I wanted lilac but since I'm the younger sister I don't get to choose 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Ocean 82: are/were you good in school? Yeah 83: what's some of your favorite album art? Ummm the flower boy album that just came out is really cool 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Eh they seem cool and I like them but I feel like trendy tattoos are the most regretful 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? No 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah. Not any in specific 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Cuberbully lmao it's kinda cringey but it's so good and hatchi because that shit has made me hyperventilate. Omg and titanic 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? ???? Again 1:30 am brain doesn't understand 89: are you close to your parents? Yeah 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I love philly don't get mad at me for loving trash 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? My home and my school 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? GIVE ME ALL THE CHEESE 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just done or in a ponytail 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? The boy I like lol 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Well I hope it's to hang out with my friends but work is a stupid bitch 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Procrastinate 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Idk off the top of my head. Aquarius. I think gryffindor 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? For a school field trip and no becaue I was sweating and dying 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I won't mind by zayn <3 that song because it explains my whole life that literally any body I like will not be mine ever! 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future maybe?

[somedaywellfindit]

do the entire overwatch questionnaire

There;s a lot so I’ve put it under the cut.

1. Who is your defence main?

Bastion and (recently) if I can, Junkrat!

2. Who is your support main?

Symmetrya or Lucio

3. Who is your offence main?

Tracer and Sombra

4. Who is your tank main?

D.Va!!

5. Who is you MAIN main?

D.Va but I’m starting to play more Symmetra

6. Which character have you played the least?

Doomfist

7. Which character do you want to learn how to play?

Ana. I’m not good at aiming so it’s hard for me to play as a sniper but Ana seems really heckin neat!

8. Which character do you dislike the most?

Roadhog. He’s so annoying to play against

9. Which character’s background story do you like the most?

Sombra’s!

10. Which character’s background story do you like the least?

Soldier’s. It’s a bit generic… It’s also basically Captian America js

11. Which map is your favorite?

Horizon!

12. Which map is your least favorite?

Probably Volskaya or Antartica

13. What Arcade game type is your favorite?

Mystery Heroes

14. What Arcade game type is your least favorite?

FFA

15. Do you prefer quick play, competitive, arcade mode, or custom games?

Arcade mode but I do like QP

16. Which map type is your favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?

Assult and escort (seperatley and together)

17. Which map type is your least favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?

Arena

18. Which event map was your favorite?

The Lucio Ball maps

19. Which event map reskin was your favorite?

Aldersbrunn!

20. Which event was your favorite?

So far, the Halloween event

21. Which event legendary skin was your favorite?

Cruiser :’)

22. Which event was your least favorite?

Probably, compared to all of the other ones I’ve been a part of, the anniversary event

23. Which event legendary skin was your least favorite?

Cyborg:76. It’s ugly as frick omg

24. Which event non-legendary skin was your favorite?

Skullyatta!

25. Which event non-legendary skin was your least favorite?

Symmetra’s vampire skin. Don’t want to go into why but I think it’s pretty obvious…

26. Which event item do you most regret not getting?

Oasis omg. It’s such a nice skin and I want it so bad

27. Did you beat the Uprising event on Normal, Hard, Expert, and Legendary?

I wasn’t there for that, sorry (but if I had been there, I probably would’ve only done normal)

28. Do you have Sombra’s “Power Outage” achievement?

Nope. I’m going to try and get it though

29. Do you have Widowmaker’s “Smooth as Silk” achievement?

I don’t have the aim to get that one, sadly

30. Do you have Lucio’s “The Floor is Lava” achievement?

Nope. I want to though

31. Do you have Zenyatta’s “Rapid Discord” achievement?

I don’t play enough Zen to get that but I’m going to Try

32. What was the first achievement you got?

Level 10

33. Did you get the “Not A Scratch,” achievement on Junkenstein’s Revenge?

Nope. I haven’t played hard mode yet, so I’ll have to try and get that one

34. What has been the hardest achievement to get for you?

I don’t really try and get certain achievements but probably Group Health Plan? It’s hard for me to not die as Mercy because usually (unless it’s my friends), my team doesn’t do much to help me

35. What’s your current SR score in Competitive Mode?

I’ve only played one comp match this season and I don’t really plan on playing anymore. My sr from last season was 1454 though

36. What the highest you’ve been in Competitive?

1624

37. What’s the most amount of placement matches you’ve won?

5 :P

38. How many gold guns do you have?

None :(

39. Which was the first gold gun you got?

No one’s yet

40. Whose gold gun do you currently want?

Symmetra’s or D.Va’s

41. What role do you usually play in Competitive?

Support

42. If you don’t play Competitive, why not?

It’s scary ok. The pressure is not fun

43. What kind of theme event would you like to see in the future?

Probably something like Uprising? Or like a winter games one???? I’m not sure tbh

44. What type of character would you like to see in the future?

Another fuckin healer or defence character!!! Like there’s other classes Jeff Overwatch. hop fuckin to it

45. Who needs more (or better) skins in the future?

Doomfist h ol y shi t. Zarya and Bastion need better skins too lmao. Their recolours are their best ones

46. What country would you like a new character to come from?

The Philippines!!

47. Favorite voice line?

“I’m your huckleberry.” hsfjaofkl

48. Favorite player icon?

Doom Dab! Doom Dab! (the Doomfist shotput one)

49. Favorite emote?

All of the dances

50. Favorite spray?

Tuxedo. I hope we can get that as a Doomfist skin. He looks dapper as fuck and I love it

51.Favorite victory pose?

Zenyatta’s Peace one omg

52. Favorite highlight intro?

The Sombra hacked one

53. Characters you ship the most?

Genji and Zenyatta for mlmSombra and Symmetra for wlwD.Va and Lucio for a het couple

54. Characters you ship the least?

Genji and Mercy, Soldier and Reaper, anything with Tracer unless it’s Emily, Genji and Hanzo (wtf is wrong with you people), anything with the father figures and their kids (D.Va and Soldier, Reaper and McCree or Genji, Soldier and Mercy, etc)

55. Characters you wish had more in-game interactions?

Lucio and D.Va or anyone with Winston probably

56. Character you wish had a comic about?

Zenyatta!!

57. Favorite comic released?

I don’t read the comics so I don’t have a favourite

58. Favorite short released?

Infiltration. It was the first short I ever saw and I love it

59. Favorite new character released?

Orisa. She’s so pure….

60. Overwatch, Blackwatch, or Talon?

Overwatch or Talon tbh

61. Pro-Omnic or anti-Omnic?

Pro-Omnic omg

62. Favorite character that isn’t a playable one? (Ex: Emily, Brigitte, Gerard, Efi, etc.)

Efi or Emily

63. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) that you liked the most?

The Doomfist nerf.. He could kill you in one charge, which would work for a tank hero but for an offence hero, it was too op

64. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) you liked the least?

The Zarya ult change where you couldn’t shoot

65. Best ultimate?

Soldier’s or Mercy’s

66. Worst ultimate?

Winston’s and Reinhardt’s

67. Most kills in game?

Altogether, 2817

68. Most heals in game?

290, 983

69. What character do you think needs a nerf?

Probably Junkrat? If he has an extra mine, there should be a way to escape his trap imo (like how you can not get frozen if you’re D.va when you use her boosters)

70. What character do you think needs a buff?

I’m not sure, honestly.

71. Have you ever rage quit in the middle of a game?

Kinda. Usually, when I leave in the middle of a game, it’s because I have to do something or I go afk

72. What’s the fastest you’ve won a game?

Probably 3 minutes? I remember I was in an arcade game or something and we were on defence and we just decimated the other team. They couldn’t even get out of spawn for half the game

73. What’s the fastest you’ve lost a game?

Does joining a game and immediately losing count? Because that happens a lot

74. Your best Overwatch-related story?

I don’t really have one yet

75. Weirdest thing that happened to you on Overwatch?

Finding the weird names. I saw someone called RespectWemen and I wish I added them as a friend omg

76. Platform you play on?

PC master race bitches

77. Do you stream?

Nope. My friends do though. It would be neat to be a part of the stream but that means I would have to talk :P

78. Do you normally play solo or with friends?

Solo but if my friends are online, I’ll play with them

79. Have you made any friends because of Overwatch?

Kinda? There’s someone from a group chat but I don’t want to call them a friend since they’ve said some shit that I don’t agree with (it was racist and gross)

80. Have you cosplayed a character from Overwatch?

Nope. I wanted to dress up as Tracer for Halloween but I don’t have the money to do that right now, sadly

81. Have you ever wrote fan fiction about Overwatch?

Nah

82. What’s the lowest you’ve been in Competitive?

In terms of SR? 1456

83. In “All Brawls,” if you get “Charge!” do you play Reinhardt or do you pick the Lucio role?

I haven’t played it but I would pick Lucio

84. In “All Brawls,” if you get “One Shot, One Kill,” do you play Ana, Hanzo, or Widowmaker?

Widow or Ana

85. In “All Brawls,” if you get “This is Ilios,” do you pick Lucio or Roadhog?

Lucio

86. Team Genji or Team Hanzo?

Genji!! He’s a cyborg ninja. He’s cool as fuck. Hanzo is edgy and kind of annoying

87. Be honest! Do you usually get on the payload?

Yeah, I try to

88. Does your team?

Most of the time, yeah

89. What’s the longest session of Overwatch you’ve played?

Idk if this means a match or time playing it in general so I’m gonna go for the latter. I’ve probably spent at least a couple hours playing Overwatch, if not more

90. No Limits, Mystery Heroes, or Total Mayhem?

Mystery Heroes

91.Most cosmetics you have for one character?

16 (D.Va)

92. Least cosmetics you have for one character?

9 (Winston)

93. Have you ever made your own custom game?

Yeah, but it was just to look at the maps

94. Best D.Va skin?

Cruiser

95. Best Mercy skin?

Literally all of her event legendaries. They’re beautiful

96. Best Tracer skin?

Graffiti but I also love Posh and Sporty (also that Spice Girls reference? love it)

97. Zarya’s Industrial and Cybergoth skins: yes, no, or HELL NO?

Hell no. THey’re Not Nice

98. Do you want more animal character, robot characters, or human characters?

Robot, I think. An animal character would be cool though! Like how everyone was theorising about the ape from the moon being a new hero

99. Is there a character you’d get rid of completely?

Nah. There’s some who suck (*cough* Hanzo * cough cough*) but not to the point where I would want them removed

100. What do you think Sombra’s real name is?

This was before her real name was revealed so I already know her name but probably Sofia. It’s a pretty name for a pretty girl

[notbrianeno]

#290: Mew - Frengers

There’s a chicken-and-egg situation with Scandinavian music (yeah, sorry, get ready for some terrible and terribly broad regional generalisations, if not outright stereotypes), or at least that portion of it that reaches the English-speaking world. Or, well, the primarily- and often-only-English-speaking world. Most Scandinavians speak English very well; the difference being that most countries that speak English as a primary or official language are reluctant to make a significant effort to teach their young any other languages with any consistency or proficiency. Je m’appelle Tom, et j’habite dans Chicago. 

It’s frustrating; I can’t imagine, say, Built To Spill or Tame Impala writing a song as powerful and rich in imagery as Her Voice Is Beyond Her Years in Danish, yet we insist that our breakthrough Scandi-Nordic bands have either perfect English diction, or else blast us with glossolalic gibberish or impenetrable death growls...

I’m drifting; this wasn’t going to be about language, but about atmosphere. Here’s the chicken: Anglophone expectations of Nordic/North-eastern-Atlantic music to be deeply atmospheric, reflecting dark, misty mornings, endless dusk, and either absolute shitloads of trees or an unsettling, utter absence of any foliage larger than a few hardy colonies of moss. Here’s the egg: a lot of that music is, well, a good reflection of absolutely that environment. Of course, it feels like a stretch to lump Sigur Rós, Dimmu Borgir, and Of Monsters And Men into any kind of shared bucket (also vaguely ironic, potentially insensitive to harp on Icelandic music in a piece about a Danish band) BUT the common atmospheric thread prevails. My argument for extreme metal as a member of the ambient family of genres will wait for another time, but don’t deny that it makes sense. Drop the playback volume down a little, and black metal becomes a textural experience rather than a purely visceral one.

There’s a crack in the egg, of course, it is filled with all the pop, angular indie (like, say, Mew’s later work when they started hanging out with J Mascis), jazz, folk, hip hop and other genres that are brewing in those frosty locales just as much as anywhere else because we have the internet, we’re human, we love music, we love a variety of music, and it’s reductive and arrogant to assume a region (of several distinct countries with intertwined but independent histories, cultures, hopes and fears and shames) will produce a single kind of music for global consumption. 

In summary, I wonder how much we assume Scandinavian music to be atmospheric and moody is to do with our expectations, and just how dominant that sound is in the region’s music scenes as a whole. I sometimes need to remind myself to stay on track because I get excited about the opportunity to explore my thoughts about music and drift off onto other tracks; it’s like trying to clean out an attic or a storage locker, you get distracted by something shiny that you loved for many years, many years ago, and you lose hours to the re-examination of the Thing, and the Person that you were when the Thing was in your life, and the Person you are now, and how the Thing relates to this newer version of the Person, and before you know it, the sun is creeping down past the skylight and you’ve only made the mess worse, and you clamber back down the ladder with a lot of complicated thoughts that are in no way conducive to getting shit done, so you spend the rest of the night sitting on a chair from your childhood, turning the Thing over and over in your hands and thinking about what it means, if it means anything, and whether it’s OK for it to mean nothing at all any more.

Frengers is not like that at all; it’s no relic to be revisited but a living part of my cultural psyche. This is an album that I’ve been playing consistently for, Jesus, almost seventeen years. June 2003, me and Paul Harvey (my teenage friend, not the radio guy) took a train to Nottingham to see OK Go. Mew were opening, which was an utterly bizarre pairing, but one I was glad to see. I knew nothing about them, and I have never seen an opener so truly mind-blowing and powerful before or since. Just listen to the damn album. OK Go were also great, but a different kind of thing. They covered Toto’s Hold The Line, which was great. The show was at The Rescue Rooms, where I also saw Death Cab For Cutie that same year. We missed the last train and had to get a bus back to Loughborough that took twice as long. I had a nice night with a good friend who I haven’t  spoken to in too long. I should send Paul a message.

But Mew. I haunted The Left-Legged Pineapple* for weeks until they got in a copy of the Mew album, and it has been a fixture in my ears ever since then, almost exclusively between November and March. It will always be my going-for-a-walk-in-the-first-snow-of-the-season album, which if I’m being honest probably means it’s as close to my favourite album as I could ever settle on. It’s atmospheric, but it’s dynamic, there’s a good variety of tempos to keep it interesting, but not enough to be tiring or feel inconsistent or like more of a collage than a fine oil on canvas. There is loneliness and empathy in the lyrics. There is a Christmas song that feels OK to play before December. And it is bookended by what I believe to be both the best opening and best closing songs of any album, Born To Run included. It’s frankly unfair to every other band that they monopolise both ends of the bookshelf with such classics. I am a person who believes that the album, being a collection of interrelated songs no longer than 74 minutes in total (sorry, I’m a child of the CD age) but ideally as close to exactly 45 minutes as possible (i.e. to fit on one side of a standard audio cassette tape, so you can pair it with another thematically-appropriate album on side 2), is the absolute ideal art form. I will defend it from every angle against your Picassos, your Swan Lakes, your Hamiltons, your Lascaux cave paintings, your Moby Dicks, your Whitman anthologies and all the damn Shakespeare you can cram into a paper brick. A flat lump of plastic with minute grooves carved into a spiral, or a hand-span mirror digitally encoded with microscopic pips, or a magnetically-charged ribbon on a fragile, transparent spool, or nothing with any physical presence at all, a packet of data sent from a server through the air to a slab in your pocket and thence to an artificial vibrating membrane adjacent to the natural vibrating membrane of your inner ear... that’s the good shit, my friends. 

Where was I? oh, right. Mew. Albums. I’ve been lucky enough to see a few of my favourite albums performed in full. Without shame, and in total disrespect of an artists’ recent output, I love the anniversary album tour gimmick. The best format for a live show is the “an evening with...” format. You play an album in full, then you play a greatest hits set from the rest of your catalog. Perfect. A couple of these full album shows stand out to me. Okkervil River on the 10th anniversary of Black Sheep Boy - pure catharsis to hear the songs of an album I loved, I lived by for many months, and which at the time I no longer needed in my life. It felt like closure, victory, escape, somehow. That same year, I saw the Manic Street Preachers doing The Holy Bible in full (the twentieth anniversary tour bleeding into the twenty-first anniversary). This was a different kind of feeling; just as with Black Sheep Boy, this was an album I needed and spent years walking to its tempos, but it felt so far away, so deep in the past that I felt nothing hearing the songs live. I was an entirely different person back then, whereas I guess during the period where Black Sheep Boy was my beacon, I was just a worse version of who I am now, so there was something relatable.

In 2018, I got to see Mew performing Frengers in full for its fifteen anniversary. They opened with a mix of songs from other albums, then took a break and came back for Frengers, which was the perfect move because how could you possibly come back to the stage after the final notes of Comforting Sounds have died out? Unlike Okkervil River, unlike the Manics, this show was as thrilling, relevant and epochal as the first time I heard these songs in a red-lit Nottingham dive.

*at the time, one of two great independent record shops in Loughborough, the other being Castle Records, both long gone, sadly; I’ll have to write about them both sometime. Expect a story about Castle when I get into some other R.E.M. albums, and Left Legged when the randomiser turns up some of my Manic Street Preachers singles

[wayneooverton]

6 totally badass women I’m obsessed with right now

Despite 2018 seeming like it was perhaps a giant dumpster fire for women around the globe, woman did a tremendous job of getting. shit. done.

From the bravery shown by the women of the #MeToo movement, to historic wins for women in the midterm elections in the US (particularly of women of color), to Spain appointing a majority-woman cabinet, to Iranian women watching the World Cup in a stadium next to men for the first time in decades, to women in Saudi Arabia finally being legally allowed to drive, the list is long. It was a good year for us.

In honor of International Women’s Day, I’m sharing a little list of badass women I’m currently obsessed with right now. I cut this list down from 17 to 6 because, holy hell, there are a lot of women that deserve some bragging right now and each one deserves her own blog post. I bow down!

Please leave a comment to let me know who I left out, and who else I should be obsessed with at the moment (because there’s always room for more in my closet shrine!)

1. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi

If you were alive during 2018 (which I’m assuming you were since you’re reading this article) you probably didn’t escape the year without first hearing about Free Solo.

Perhaps you weren’t interested or didn’t really understand, but surely  you’ve heard about the epically superhuman efforts of Alex Honnold, a free solo expert who achieved his dream of scaling 3,000ft of a vertical wall in Yosemite National Park without a rope.

It has rightly been dubbed as one of the greatest athletic feats in the history of mankind (NBD) and watching the event is equal parts exhilarating and holy-shit-I’m-sweating-in-places-I-didn’t-even-know-could-produce-sweat terrifying.

When you hear about Free Solo, people normally talk about two things:

1) how amazing Alex Honnold is (and he is amazing)

2) what a great film Jimmy Chin produced (one of the greatest adventure photographers of all time)

Ok great, enough about them, let’s move on to the real star of the show.

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It was a day … @stellamccartney @carolyntangel @thefashionguitar @mhmakesithappen @jimmychin @alexhonnold @sannimccandless @freesolofilm here we go….@c_albert #oscars2019 @oscardelarenta @idaorg thank you to too many who made this possible thank you #avillage

A post shared by Chai Vasarhelyi (@chaivasarhelyi) on Feb 24, 2019 at 12:38am PST

What no one ever seems to talk about is the co-director and all around inspirational badass Chai Vasarhelyi and her role in all this.

So who is she? I’m glad you asked. Chai is an uber-ambitious 39-year-old woman who grew up in Manhattan and when to college at Princeton. She finished her first documentary, A Normal Life, at age 24 that told the story of 7 college-aged friends in the middle of the Bosnian Conflict.

I can’t even tell you one interesting thing I did the year I was 24. Her film won the Tribeca Film Festival. Casual.

Moving on! She spent the next decade making films about Senegal, honing in on her knack for storytelling and showcasing raw human emotion. Let’s fast forward a bit because I could literally talk for hours about her and we’ve got a lot of women to cover.

Chai found herself in the presence of Jimmy Chin (who she initially blew off because why not, you do you, girl). He asked her for some tips on his film, Meru, which had been kicking around for years, not managing to make it into any film festivals. She let him wait in limbo for three months before she got back to him and agreed to take a look.

Chai turned the now famous Meru from doomed, super bro climbing porn film, to a genuine story that went on gain high praise from elite film festivals everywhere.

How’d she do it? She insisted on re-shooting basically everything except for the actual climbing. All of the storytelling, all of the interviews with the climbers, all of the interviews with the family members. She revisited all of that and pulled out real human emotion that she felt viewers could connect with. And she was right.

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More Ampas / Baftas and more @brockcollection what a break from being a mud drenched Doc filmmaker feels like being Cinderella…..thank you @freesolofilm @thefashionguitar @carolyntangel 🙏❤️

A post shared by Chai Vasarhelyi (@chaivasarhelyi) on Feb 8, 2019 at 11:51am PST

And as a surprise to literally no one, she did the same thing for Free Solo.

She took what easily could have been a niche climbing film and turned it into an oddly relatable and universal story: perfection vs death, love vs. focus, ethics vs. filming an incredible feat. For her efforts and diligence, this documentary made people feel things other than fear and exhilaration.

She gave the audience and understanding of the complexity of the whole project. Oh, and she’s married to Jimmy Chin in case anyone actually cared. And they just took home an Oscar!

2. Jacinda Ardern

You didn’t think I was going to write this list without mentioning one of the most badass world leaders of all times, did you? Especially from the country that was the first to give women the right to vote!

As a leader of the first Labour government in New Zealand in a decade, Jacinda Ardern shares values common of a leftist party: investment in health, education, climate action, public housing, and social justice. Excellent start, but hundreds of politicians share those values and push those agendas.

So what makes Jacinda so special?

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Happy Diwali! If you’re in Auckland (or even near it) pop along to the festival at Aotea Square

A post shared by Jacinda Ardern (@jacindaardern) on Oct 19, 2018 at 8:22pm PDT

For starters, Jacinda has absolutely no time for what others expect of her outside of her job responsibilities.

All those bogus questions about family woman usually get when they run for public office? Nope! Jacinda wasn’t having any of it. She was elected and promptly announced her pregnancy like it was NBD, had the baby in a public hospital and became the first world leader ever to go on maternity leave, where she graced the world with a charming Facebook Live video of her and her daughter Neve.

When she was ready to go back, she went and her partner (not husband, mind you!) stayed home with the baby. I love a good gender role swap!

She continued her year getting shit done as the Prime Minister and also being an amazing parent.

She brought her new baby to the Nelson Mandela Peace Summit where she spoke moments after handing off the babe to her partner (She also got her baby a special UN pass for the event). Through her actions, she is normalizing being in a position of power as a new mom, breastfeeding at work, and having her partner be the primary caregiver.

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Welcome to our village wee one. Feeling very lucky to have a healthy baby girl that arrived at 4.45pm weighing 3.31kg (7.3lb) Thank you so much for your best wishes and your kindness. We're all doing really well thanks to the wonderful team at Auckland City Hospital.

A post shared by Jacinda Ardern (@jacindaardern) on Jun 20, 2018 at 11:14pm PDT

Enough about her baby. Let’s talk about her career accomplishments. In her short time as president, she has already:

Introduced the Families Package that delivers more money to families with children and reduces child poverty

Passed a bill to allow leave for victims of domestic abuse

Made the first year of tertiary education or training fees free

Increase student allowances and living cost loans by $50 a week

Passed the Healthy Homes Guarantee Bill, setting minimum standards for all rentals

Passed law banning overseas speculators from buying existing houses

Set up a ministerial inquiry into mental health crisis

Introduced legislation to make medicinal cannabis available for people with terminal illnesses or in chronic pain

Increased the minimum wage to $16.50 an hour (and announced this year another bump up to $17.70 by April of this year)

Set the zero carbon emissions goal and began setting up an independent Climate Commission, ended all new bids on offshore oil and gas exploration

And announced a phasing out of single-use plastic bags nationwide

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It’s been a while since I gave an update on the work to eradicate M. bovis, so here it is…. We’ve had 74 properties infected so far. 36 farms have now gone through the process of having their farms given the all clear and restocked – I visited one of those farms today to talk about their experience. We still have things we need to improve (and we made a few extra announcements on that today) but we’re also still very committed to eradicating Mycoplasma Bovis.

A post shared by Jacinda Ardern (@jacindaardern) on Oct 8, 2018 at 5:28pm PDT

Oh, and she greeted the Queen of England wearing a traditional Maori cloak. What’s that? A country treating its indigenous population with even an ounce or respect and dignity!?

3. Melise Edwards

Melise has become one of my favorite women to follow on Instagram. Not only is she a sponsored rock climber, but she’s also an actual brain scientist AND social justice warrior.

She refuses to sit behind her climbing success without also tackling issues for women and communities of color in the outdoors. She refuses to accept the erasure of dark-skinned women in outdoor advertising and when she gets hate mail for it, she straight up calls those bullies out.

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The truth is: I've had so many negative interactions in the climbing community in recent years that have arisen due to conversations surrounding diversity, feminism, privilege and inclusion that I find myself sometimes uninterested, angry and afraid to be a part of the local community. . . There have been the friends from my city & back home who block, unfriend and unfollow me, though first letting me know that "demonizing white people" by asking for folks to recognize our many collective forms of privilege and the impacts of recent historical oppression on minorities is divisive and racist against white people. . . There have been the strangers and local climbers who are all too comfortable harassing and trolling me online with the added bonus of getting to see them here in the gyms when I climb. There have been the in-person conversations at where people seek me out to tell me I'm playing the victim and that racism and sexism are not really issues. . There have been the prominent climbers and first ascentionists who vehemently oppose these conversations and message me condescending remarks. There has been a man twice my age writing a blog post on his institute's page about my fragility. And on top of this, we see chronic affronts and attacks on POC & other underrepresented groups within the outdoor community and society at large daily. It comes from friends. It comes from strangers. It comes from leaders and people in positions of power in the industry. It comes from people who would rather not get involved. . . These things make it difficult to "just go climbing" and push myself within a hobby that used to give me so much joy. My life is amazing and I'm so thankful for where I am and all that I do. There are also many incredible people and groups in this industry who are doing invaluable work. But if I am being honest, I am struggling with my waning passion for a community and hobby I used to love. (Photo by @andreasassenrath)

A post shared by Mélise | Seattle, WA (@meliseymo) on Feb 26, 2019 at 12:02pm PST

Her passion and dedication is infectious and makes me want to do better:

“I yearn for the day when multiple women of color can be featured for an advertisement or photoshoot within and beyond the outdoor industry; for the day we don’t need to have several white women or men in the shot for the photo to be inherently successful. . I yearn for the day POC can get paid and aren’t questioned or criticized for wanting to get paid for their work and time. This means valuing their time, chronic advice, labor and the information they provide enough to actually compensate them. (E.g. how do I make my company more diverse?) . . I yearn for the day when more people of color make up the staffing at large companies and folks don’t call on *that one POC you know on Instagram* to ask for chronic free education and labor. . Companies: Diversify your staff. Diversify your marketing. Take actual efforts to support POC in the outdoor community beyond superficial displays that do not get at the root of the problem (e.g. inviting a panel of POC to talk for free at your events.) . Finally, please stop asking POC to only come to your events to talk about diversity instead of their amazing careers in the outdoors, recent adventures or athleticism. We can all do better when we learn how rampant these issues are in our community and seek to change them. I believe in you all.”

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Marketing in the outdoor industry and society at large is strikingly homogenous. Even attempts to diversify marketing efforts will usually feature one light skinned, white passing or racially ambiguous woman still out numbered 10:1 by white models and a usually all white staff. . . Similarly frustrating is the chronic expectation for POC to continually offer free labor to *thank* companies for daring to care about diversity. Superficial means of supporting diversity will be offered without ever addressing the issue at the community, staff, company and marketing level. . . Companies need to do better to represent the diversity of our communities. . I yearn for the day when multiple women of color can be featured for an advertisement or photoshoot within and beyond the outdoor industry; for the day we don't need to have several white women or men in the shot for the photo to be inherently successful. . . I yearn for the day POC can get paid and aren't questioned or criticized for wanting to get paid for their work and time. This means valuing their time, chronic advice, labor and the information they provide enough to actually compensate them. (E.g. how do I make my company more diverse?) . . I yearn for the day when more people of color make up the staffing at large companies and folks don't call on *that one POC you know on Instagram* to ask for chronic free education and labor. . . Companies: Diversify your staff. Diversify your marketing. Take actual efforts to support POC in the outdoor community beyond superficial displays that do not get at the root of the problem (e.g. inviting a panel of POC to talk for free at your events.) . Finally, please stop asking POC to only come to your events to talk about diversity instead of their amazing careers in the outdoors, recent adventures or athleticism. We can all do better when we learn how rampant these issues are in our community and seek to change them. I believe in you all. (PC @andreasassenrath)

A post shared by Mélise | Seattle, WA (@meliseymo) on Feb 2, 2019 at 9:56am PST

4. Cristina Mittermeier

In case you haven’t heard, global warming is real. It’s happening right now and us humans who have expedited global warming are generally not being helpful at all.

Good thing there are people like Cristina Mittermeier to show us the way forward. (And if I haven’t lost you at this point, congrats, you understand science!)

The Mexico-city born marine biologist has some notable accolades but her strength goes beyond her studies and awards. Cristina is an expert storyteller and sheds light on what’s going on in the world, whether at the bottom of the ocean floor or in some of the most remote indigenous villages in the world. She photographs them, tells their story and gives hope for the possibility of a mindful, sustainable future.

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What might seem like a featureless snow-covered landscape to us is an invisible map filled with smells that lead to prey and mates for polar bears. While the future of this incredible species remains uncertain and concerning, the unwavering hope that so many of you have for vulnerable wildlife tells me that our ability to protect them has never been more diverse and more promising.

A post shared by Cristina Mittermeier (@cristinamittermeier) on Oct 7, 2018 at 9:23am PDT

At her core, she wants her audience to really truly think about what it means to be a human and our undeniable link to other species and the responsibility to look after fellow life forms.

In 2005, she created a league of Conservation Photographers (hello new dream job!) to help give a platform for photographers working on environmental issues. She’s also co-founded a nonprofit called Sea Legacy, with legendary photographer Paul Nicklen, that works towards protecting the world’s oceans through storytelling.

If that’s not enough to convince you to be obsessed with her as well, I’ll leave you with this quote.

“To roam the farthest corners of the Earth, where wild creatures live, is a privilege reserved for an adventurous handful. But even though most of us may never feel the chill of Arctic air through the frozen flap of an icy tent, images can help us understand the urgency many photographers feel to protect wild places. My work is about building a greater awareness of the responsibility of what it means to be a human. It is about understanding that the history of every living thing that has ever existed on this planet also lives within us. It is about the ethical imperative—the urgent reminder that we are inextricably linked to all other species on this planet and that we have a duty to act as the keepers of our fellow life forms.”

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Blue whales are the largest animals to have ever existed, reaching mind-boggling dimensions of 100 feet long and upwards of 200 tons on a diet composed almost exclusively of krill, tiny-shrimp like crustaceans. It was a joy to be in the water with this gentle giant off the coast of the Azores. I had never had an encounter with a blue whale before. While the hunting of blue whales was banned by the International Whaling Commission in 1966, endangered fin whales are still being hunted in Iceland in defiance of a world wide ban of commercial whaling in 1986. Follow the link in my bio to learn more. This work was performed under the authorization n.0 XX-ORAC-2018 issued by the Government, on February 22, 2018.

A post shared by Cristina Mittermeier (@cristinamittermeier) on Jun 23, 2018 at 8:42am PDT

5. Mirna Valerio

There’s a myth in the medical world that fat people cannot be considered fit.

There’s phony talk about the importance of BMI (spoiler: it’s absolutely worthless for determining health) and the unarguable need to shed pounds to achieve health.

This simply is not true and Mirna Valerio is here to prove it.

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Guess what y’all? I’m a swimsuit model too! I loved this shoot with the talented @insecto, Carlos Palacios, in Costa Rica for @skirtsports! I never thought in a million years I’d be doing #swimwear photoshoots on a beach on top of a SUP board in #halfmoonpose baring, well not quite all, but more than I am used to… ## WELCOME TO MY NEW WORLD! Also this bathing suit is available the link in my bio—use code MIRNAVATOR for a 20% discount! #swimsuit #beachphotography #womenwhomove #optoutside #bathingsuit #bareitall #bodypositive #bopo #photography #bodylove #effyourbeautystandards

A post shared by Mirna Valerio (@themirnavator) on Feb 25, 2019 at 11:30am PST

Mirna has essentially been an outdoors obsessed athlete all of her life. From field hockey and lacrosse in high school to now being a full-on ultramarathon runner in her adult life. She started blogging (Fat Girl Running) in 2012 as she was training for her first marathon and as her support systems grew, so did the haters, flooding her inbox with negative comments. But Mirna never let the haters get her down. She loves her body and is consequently chasing our stereotyped perception of what fitness and health look like.

“They don’t like to see me on a cover of a magazine because I do not represent what fitness means to them,” she says. “I want to continue sticking my big ass into places where people think I don’t belong. That has been the nature of my life—I’m going to do it and I’m going to do it proudly.”

“We are much more than our bodies. Whether it’s body image, our choices to be moms or not, our career choices—we are more than our bodies,” Valerio says. “We’re so powerful beyond our wildest dreams.”

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An excellent morning on the #wildwoodtrail at #forestpark in Portland with new friends @erin.nicksmartin and @rossmaxloudness from my awesome Facebook Group FATGIRLRUNNING. We had a great time exploring the #trail, enjoying the peeks of sun, and most of all, each other’s company. So happy to have our community! #fatgirlrunning #trailrunning #optoutside #runtrails #trailandultra #trailrunning #outdoors #urbantrails #portlandtrails #runner #zapposrunning #empoweredbyrunning #hylandspowered

A post shared by Mirna Valerio (@themirnavator) on Dec 27, 2018 at 12:51pm PST

As a runner, author, and educator, Valeria has secured her voice encouraging everyone, especially the youth, to get outside where they can test their own mental and physical strength. She advocates for green spaces in cities and supports more price-public funding for school trips.

“It’s not just a necessity for urban kids, but it’s a necessity for kids all over no matter what their level of privilege is and no matter what their level of exposure and access is,” she says. “Whenever I think of the outdoors, it’s not only a place to be myself and live in my introverted ways, but I also look at the outdoors as a place of bonding with other people and having these really deep, profound experiences with nature that you can’t have looking out a window.”

6. Pattie Gonia

Pattie Gonia is the world’s first backpacking queen and honestly, this is exactly what we need right now in these trying times.

Some days the news is so dark and our world leaders are so questionable that you might want to crawl into a tiny cave and not come out until everything is fixed but then, like a ray of sunshine and hope, emerges Pattie Gonia, the viral drag queen who dances on top of mountaintops in platform heels and everything in the world seems a little more manageable.

Yes!

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SURPRISE BISH !!!! park ranger pattie is here to write you a ticket for being TOO DAMN FABULOUS. 👑 & o no sis we’re not done yet. 💥 your fine is to tell someone u know needs to hear it how fabuluz they are too. 🧚🏻‍♂️ & u know y??? because this is our year to shine TOGETHER. so u better watch out u better not hide i’ll be patrolling these here parts & should u choose to be too fabulous again just watch me i’ll pop out from behind a tree (BOO!!) w these au natural hairy leggz & say u too wonderful AGAIN here’s another 1 !!!! . whooole lewk by queen @katienashbeauty photo by queen @erinoutdoors photographed on jumanos native lands . #servingyounationalparkSERVEice #nationalparkservice #nationalparks #outdoors #neature #nature #alewk #amajorlewk

A post shared by Pattie Gonia (@pattiegonia) on Mar 4, 2019 at 12:30pm PST

Pattie graced us with her presence less than six months ago but has already made waves across the world.

Pattie is portrayed by fellow Nebraskan photographer and Eagle Scout Wyn Wiley. If you aren’t familiar with various state identities in the USA, let’s just say that Nebraska is not the easiest state to be apart of the LGBTQ group.

Nevertheless, Wiley unapologetically embraces his inner queen and we’re all a lot better because of it.

But Pattie Gonia is more than a feel-good IG feed to make you smile. Wiley’s ultimate goal is for Pattie Gonia to inspire more people to get outside and enjoy mother nature, especially those who have historically been excluded from the outdoor community, including the LGBTQ community, people of color, and bigger folks.

He hopes to achieve this by having Pattie Gonia lead groups of newbie hikers and using sponsors to help provide gear for those who can’t afford it, because let’s be honest, outdoor gear can be as expensive as hell and historically, spending leisure time outside is a huge fucking privilege.

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THE BEND & SNAP TRAIL EDITION ♻️💃🏼🌲 ugh isn’t trash on the trails the most sad moment??? let’s keep our trails clean & do it while looking fab && snatched & cute as a bb prancing deer. not only for us but for all the animal babes friends we share mother natch with!!! remember, we have one earth to have our party, let’s not leave the house trashed. pick up your trash. it’s simply good etiquette, queens. . keeping our trails is clean is as easy as you brining a simple plastic bag to not only pack out your trash but what was left behind by other people. even if you pick up a piece or two of trash on a 30 min hike that can do wonders to keep mother natch looking snatched. . outfit by clothes my mom got me for christmas video by @charlieronan edit by @adamkingman #recycle #packout #packinpackout #protectourparks #nationalparks #hikevibes #litter #trash #stateparks #parksandrec #11thessential #leavenotrace #staywild #colorado #redrocks #denver #nature #fierce #drag #dragqueen #dance . video taken on cheyenne and ute native land

A post shared by Pattie Gonia (@pattiegonia) on Feb 7, 2019 at 12:22pm PST

On a more personal level, Pattie is a way for Wiley to explore his more feminine sides.

“In my normal life, I’d say I’m pretty straight-passing,” he says. “But when I put those boots on, it feels like a girl when she puts on mascara for the first time – it unlocks a different side of you that you haven’t seen before. I think femme is important. I think masculinity is important. I think it’s all inside of us.” If everyone accepted this gender fusion, the world would be a much better place.

Trust me. Better yet, trust Pattie.

Spill! Who are some badass women you’re obsessed with right now? Comment below and share some inspo!

The post 6 totally badass women I’m obsessed with right now appeared first on Young Adventuress.

from Young Adventuress https://ift.tt/2H4QjhI

[poweroftheminds]

Rethinking The Oil Change Business Venture

http://www.allcarsnews.com/?p=7988

Annual quick lube survey, is it still viable?

I wish to comment on the Fast Lube Business and the annual survey done by Auto Laundry News, one of the few Industry Magazines for the car wash industry. In this 2001 survey, we see an increase on the number of locations out there. Yet the leader of the Industry is by far Jiffy Lube. We see variations on theme, but we can safely say that Jiffy Lube has adapted best to the American public and their desires when it comes to oil changes.

This survey showed the average customer would drive 5.7 miles to get an oil change. If 50% of the customers would drive 5.7 miles and 80% of the customers usually come from a three-mile radius to get a car wash, I see additional synergy. These car washes with oil lube centers are getting a further reach than the industry average. This is great news for those carwashes adding oil lube bays, but also it takes up space and if not marketed correctly it will not work. The survey was quick to show that oil change facilities do best in middle class areas, not high-end areas. They do poorly in low-income areas. This all makes sense. Free standing car washes were the most likely to have oil lube facilities on there properties. Interesting too is that minimum wage was not prevailing, normally the companies pay $8.00-10.00 per hour. Makes realistic sense and I believe good help starts in this country at $10.00 per hour in most metros and $8.00 hour in rural.

Only 23% of the fast lubes had a website. Only half had internet access in the locations. Average employees were 5 full time and 3 part timers. Luckily for the image of this industry 74% had specific uniforms. The average shop had 3 bays, not enough to do the volume if adequate blitz marketing and community based marketing were taking place. Average revenue was $32.00 per car. That is an awful lot of upselling since the average advertised price that I have noticed is around $19.99. Less than 30% were open on Sundays? Bad mistake since there is no time to change oil and wait in line for most Americans. Average monthly gross was $2,400.00 per month per bay?

This is shit, this is not even a viable business, these people are wasting their time. Think about it, you have cost of oil and filter too and labor? Forget that news. I question the viability of the entire oil change industry. The largest Jiffy Lube franchisee in the country with 180 units was de-listed from NASDAQ and so was another prominent auto care and lube company recently. I like the Kwik-Lube Company and feel they are doing it right, but also question the ROI of such an endeavor seeing these results and the cost to build the building and time to build it. One good thing that the oil lube bays have going for them is the up-sell, but as the consumer dollar gets tighter and the credit card debt gets higher and the fall out rates increase where will this extra impulse revenue and up-sell cash be coming form?

The Industry is still expanding and new entrants to the market place are hurting existing units and I question the saturation point, not on need, but on desire. No one wants to spend money on oil changes, they need to. People buy what they want, satellite TV and beer. Not what they need, so I see a frequency problem issue brewing and people waiting 5-6-7 thousand miles between changes. So I believe that if an oil lube bay is not already attached to another reason to frequent the facility it will soon be in desire straits. The survey also showed that 93% OF THE OIL LUBE BAYS USED ADVERTISING TO GET THEIR CUSTOEMRS? WHY? We do not advertise, word of mouth and happy customers advertise for us. There you go again more cost.

Also 60% of the surveyed said that competition was discounting. HMMM? You have labor costs that are high, frequency is down, new car technology on the horizon, cost of oil going to the big guys and throw in a price war? I see problem as the non-savvy operators leave facilities for sale and exit the market place. By eliminating the facility and going mobile with the existing customer base of let's say a mobile truck repair business which can co-band and fleet services available you could beat these other companies since they running redline over saturations of mailer coupons and phone book ads and no web sites. Many companies are not watching the changing demographics at their locations and lease or property costs and unable to sell or borrow more due to their lousy profit margins. And what can you convert and Oil change bay into? Cover up the hole for a tire shop? What happens when Hydrogen cell comes and no one changes oil. Can you convert to filter type operation? Not really since often the tires and wheels are offset and will land the modular car into the lube bay hole. We have the solution and we can beat them in almost every aspect. Some consultants have said; "Bunch of dummies copying each other."

Listen to this part of the survey, advertising dollars were spent on, here is where the respondents said they advertised; TV 15%, Direct Mail 51%, Radio 38%, Newspaper 35%, Bill Boards 18%, Yellow Pages 53%, other only 13%. Scary, all that costs money and everybody is running redline copying each other. This is what happens when people cannot think any longer and cannot adapt and do business at the speed of thought,

[http://www.speedofthought.com]

81% of respondents said they would honor competitor's coupons? Whatever, why print them then. Let everyone else spend the money and take theirs? 80% said they have tried to use discounting to lure customers from other lube places to theirs. Boy this sounds like the carpet cleaning industry to me.

Breakdown in costs per job. 10% rent or property, 3% maintenance of facility, 26% labor, 30% materials, 4% utilities and many reported expecting that to double and some have already in the west experienced a tripling. Insurance 4% and that to expected to keep rising and some said 8%, Customer claims for damage 1%, this is in-excusable, Advertising 10%. Want to add those up for me. Why are they doing it?

Average new facility costs were; Land $206,000, Improvements $505,000, New equipment $36,000. WOW all that for little or no return? Average number of competitors within 10-mile radius? 36% said 3, 19% said two, 19% said 5, 7% said 5 or more. How can anyone invest this kind of money per location when we can build a couple of units for a total of $65,000 and nearly equal the number of potential vehicles to service? Also with AAA building oil change facilities and Wal-Mart getting into things, the competition will be bloody and that is a lot of money to invest in a business with an uncertain future. Not a good bet, if you were a betting man.

We are very much liking this Industry because we know things the Industry does not and we can slam them because they have missed the boat. We have seen a few companies which are looking into ways to change the oil on the water for yachts. What is even better is that they all missed the boat at the same time and are fighting on shore for a few little boats to get to the ship that is leaving the harbor. Who will survive this oil change war. The one who bests services the customer, they way the customer wishes to be serviced.

Source by Lance Winslow

[chaos-and-recover]

all of them. all. of. them.

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME EVERY TIME is it because you know I have nothing better to do? Because you are right.

1. What is you middle name? Barbara. It’s my mom’s first name2. How old are you? OLD AS BALLS. Or like. 32.3. When is your birthday? April 4th.4. What is your zodiac sign? Aries5. What is your favorite color? purple6. What’s your lucky number? I don’t know if I have one?7. Do you have any pets? nope. I am sad and empty and pet=less8. Where are you from? Canada, eh?9. How tall are you? 5′11″ or somewhere in there. Apparently freakishly tall, according to my tiny, tiny friends10. What shoe size are you? ladies’ 9 1/2-10. Currently wearing size 9 boots every day because I haven’t gotten around to getting new winter boots and got those ones for a cosplay a few years ago because they looked rad and were cheap but NOT COMFY and I NEED NEW BOOTS.11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? lemme tell you it’s not nearly as many as it was when I worked in a mall with a Payless and went there WAY too often. There’s probably like 5 or 6 I wear regularly now.12. What was your last dream about? I... actually don’t even remember? I remember waking up the other morning thinking “what in the FUCK” about a dream I’d had but now I can’t remember what it actually WAS lol13. What talents do you have? none lol14. Are you psychic in any way? I mean I don’t know if I ACTUALLY am but I’ve learned to trust my gut when I feel really sure of an outcome of something because I’ve been right more than I’ve been wrong15. Favorite song? Falling Slowly from the movie Once is probably my favourite thing in the world.16. Favorite movie? 10 Things I Hate About You, The Princess Bride, and a bunch of objectively awful movies that I love.17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who will leave me tf alone. Actually I would probably thrive in a long distance relationship where I don’t have to like... see them all the time and can still have my own space?18. Do you want children? Not especially. I recently figured out that may be negotiable though which was... interesting.19. Do you want a church wedding? Not necessarily but if I did have one I would only want it at my grandparents’ church because history (my parents were married there; I was baptized there; my Oma loved that church).20. Are you religious? Not even a little.21. Have you ever been to the hospital? My guy I spent so much time in the ER as a kid that they almost called social services.22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope, I’m a nerd.23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Yes, quite a few. That was like, My Thing in high school24. Baths or showers? baths if they stay warm for more than 0.00005 seconds.25. What color socks are you wearing? black, with white writing. They’re my July Socks because I am JUST that awful and love a bad pun.26. Have you ever been famous? I had my 15 minutes of fame in 2004. Green Day were involved. The story circulated the local music/industry community for at least a year. That’s all.27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I don’t think I would like that AT ALL.28. What type of music do you like? I listen to so much music, honestly. Name a genre and I could probably name at least one artist I like from it.29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Not totally but I’ve gone halfway there. Not sober lol.30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 231. What position do you usually sleep in? Usually on my stomach32. How big is your house? not as big as the rest in the neighbourhood now but when it was built in the 70s it WAS one of the biggest around33. What do you typically have for breakfast? either: a bagel w/ cream cheese, Eggos (with chocolate chips sometimes), toast w/ peanut butter & banana, Cheerios w/ banana, or oatmeal34. Have you ever fired a gun? only a laser gun lol35. Have you ever tried archery? yeah, I actually liked it? I wasn’t very good. Although my Opa did make my brother and I our own bow and arrow sets when we were little. Nobody lost an eye, so it worked out well.36. Favorite clean word? I don’t know if I have one?37. Favorite swear word? I like made up ones, like “fucknugget.”38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Without ANY sleep at all, like a day and a half. With minimal sleep, a few days - a week or so.39. Do you have any scars? Yes and they’re all dumb.40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? lol doubtful41. Are you a good liar? Sometimes. For like, inconsequential shit I don’t even need to lie about.42. Are you a good judge of character? I wanna say yes but I’m actually just kind of a bitch and super judgy anyway?43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Every one I try turns out like a really shitty southern accent44. Do you have a strong accent? I don’t think so but people from elsewhere might disagree45. What is your favorite accent? Irish, specifically Galway-area. I also like certain southern accents, like... wherever Matthew McConaughey is from. That’s a nice accent.46. What is your personality type? Like... those acronyms? No idea lol. I don’t do those personality tests.47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Probably my Roots cabin sweater which I got for Christmas last year but I know ain’t cheap.48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie50. Left or right handed? Right, although I’m fairly competent with my left from when I was 8 and broke my right arm and had to use my left for everything for a while.51. Are you scared of spiders? Yes, they’re awful little demon bugs.52. Favorite food? Poutine lmao. I’m a stereotype.53. Favorite foreign food? Burritos.54. Are you a clean or messy person? Horrifically messy.55. Most used phrased? Lord, probably “lmao.” Or “your face.”56. Most used word? Probably “fuck”57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends for what. For just like, every day shit, like 20 minutes. If I actually wanna look good I need more time. Both of those require at least 20-40 minutes of sitting despondently on my bed wondering if I REALLY need to go where I’m supposed to go.58. Do you have much of an ego? I don’t think so?59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Lick/suck til I get bored, then bite. (Hey boys ;) )60. Do you talk to yourself? Yes, way too much.61. Do you sing to yourself? Quietly, but I do.62. Are you a good singer? FUCK no.63. Biggest Fear? The existential horror of Never Getting My Life Together.64. Are you a gossip? More than I should/want to be 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Ever? That’s a hard question. I have a really unpopular opinion about Manchester By The Sea (I KNOW how we’re supposed to feel about Casey Affleck) but I don’t even know if that’s the best EVER, it’s just very good and that makes me angry.66. Do you like long or short hair? On myself? Kinda miss my long hair now.67. Can you name all 50 states of America? If you give me time to figure them out, probably.  (let’s see - Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Hawaii, Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Utah, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Idaho, Iowa, North Dakota, South Dakota, Kentucky, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Montana, Indiana, Michigan, Illinois, Rhode Island, New York, Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Colorado, Delaware, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Connecticut, Minnesota, Wyoming, Arizona, Missouri, Mississippi, Kansas, New Hampshire, Oklahoma. BAM.68. Favorite school subject? I was a nerd and loved History. I took American History in grade 11 SPECIFICALLY because my 10th grade History teacher was so good and he taught it, I wanted him again. I also liked English. Math can choke.69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert. But I play an extrovert on the internet.70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope.71. What makes you nervous? Crowds, specifically crowds hindering where I need to go or what I want to accomplish.72. Are you scared of the dark? No, I’m scared of things IN the dark lmao.73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes, but usually I couch it in “I think it might be this actually” which probably comes off as passive aggressive.74. Are you ticklish? Yes but if you exploit that you gonna die75. Have you ever started a rumor? Probably lol76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yep. I used to manage a store. I’m also a supervisor at my part-time job.77. Have you ever drank underage? I really didn’t that much but I did a little.78. Have you ever done drugs? Never hard drugs because I’m lame.79. Who was your first real crush? Third grade. Luke Costello. That crush... set a bit of a tone lol.80. How many piercings do you have? None, not even my ears, which everyone finds baffling for some reason.81. Can you roll your Rs? Yes!82. How fast can you type? I don’t know my exact WPM but it’s pretty fast I think.83. How fast can you run? Not very.84. What color is your hair? Red85. What color is your eyes? Green/hazel86. What are you allergic to? Potentially cats and/or dogs, dust, MAYBE alcohol lol.87. Do you keep a journal? Nope88. What do your parents do? they’re both retired but they were both teachers, the absolute nerds.89. Do you like your age? Sure90. What makes you angry? Dumb people at rush hour on public transit.91. Do you like your own name? I don’t hate it.92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Not in a long, long time and when I used to they were all ridiculous and terrible, thank GOD I never had any.93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I wouldn’t care.94. What are you strengths? I’m pretty chill I think?95. What are your weaknesses? Maybe too chill when things are important.96. How did you get your name? It was crazy popular in the 80s and my parents just liked it.97. Were your ancestors royalty? No, but there may have been a Polish lord somewhere in the line? No one is really sure. We ARE sure about the bank robber though. She’s my favourite.98. Do you have any scars? Oh hey a repeat question.99. Color of your bedspread? Purple100. Color of your room? Also purple

[thedisney50-blog]

12. Cinderella (1950)

Half the reason to do this blog was to allow me to see every Disney Animated Classic. Much to my discredit I have never seen Cinderella. Mainly because it always struck me as dull. Plus the Cinderella story is one of the 7 basic story archetypes; we ALL know it in various forms. Rags to riches. So, was my scorn well founded? Or is this a hidden gem?

So what’s the plot Liam? Well Cindy had a loving father who was widowed. He remarried an evil bitch and then promptly died. Cindy spent the rest of her life in indentured servitude to evil stepmother (you’re not my real mom!) and two ugly step sisters. Castle has a shindig, magical lady appears, dress and shoes provided, glass slipper, whole nine yards. Marries Prince. End. In a nutshell: A foot fetishist’s wet dream.

The film opens with another live action book opening (sploosh). I assumed that boded well. And then we get a voice over: “Cinderella was abused, humiliated, and finally forced to become a servant in her own house”. Now I was expecting this to go down a very dodgy low budget porn route. “I’ve come to fix your spinning wheel”. Alas no, it was not to be. Instead it was an interminably dull 74 minutes. Make it stop! Kill it with fire! Dull to the nth degree. Generally average animations, a few “songs” that made my insides solidify, pointless subplots and a general sense of ennui a la fin-de-siecle. C’est fin. Well, not quite.

I usually talk about the animation quality in these things so I can pretend there’s something vaguely valid about my criticism. The animation is OK I suppose. Some nice rotoscoping in places, and some pretty nice bits of design. And the “So This Is Love?” dancing sequence in the garden is rather nifty to be fair. But other sections look like they belong on the editing room floor. It’s certainly not as stylised or as interesting as stuff that would come in the same decade (Sleeping Beauty or Lady & The Tramp), and suffers from a general lack of imagination. Very little of the exquisite, luscious detail I expect. Erm.. yeah that’s about the best I can say for it. Check out the dancing sequence for the best it has to offer:

The music in the piece is a huge let down. Not only do we get dull ballads with no sense of fun or frivolity, but we also get the start of the “chipmunk” phase kicking in hard. The mice, as with all Disney mice, are the worst. Not only do they grate on the old auditory nerves, but their subplot is tedium personified. I do not give a single fuck about mice and cats locked in the eternal Darwinian struggle. Think a shit Tom & Jerry without the racist overtones. I’m so over anthropomorphised rodents. Also while we’re talking about the mice, Cindy has a very 1950s attitude towards ensuring they’re appropriately dressed in gendered clothing. SHE ASSUMES THEIR GENDER!

Also while we’re on the mice; Cindy is a bitch! She and the mice live in the attic. She serves them breakfast, but insists they scale down three stories in the house to get fed. Given the height of the ceilings, the average height of humans, and the average height of mice, a quick bit of maths informs me the heartless bitch made them climb down the equivalent of a human being scaling down 12% of the Burj Khalifa. 99.8 metres! Cold hearted woman (yes I actually did the maths).

Let’s talk characters. Cindy is suitably irrelevant. As is the Prince (literally takes him 54 minutes before he says a single word). The sisters are also beige. The only characters with any real depth are the Evil Stepmother. She looks like Kathleen Turner would look as a brothel madam in the Wild West 150 years ago. She’s also voiced by Eleanor Audley, the same lady that voiced Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty, and induced severe Proustian terror in my bones. Other characters of note are the cat Lucifer (subtle name), which only reinforced my hatred of cats as something evil and unholy; a mouse called Gus who was actually kinda cute (totally my type, chunky and dim, just how I like my boyfriends), a noble hound named Bruno I rather enjoyed, and a series of bluebirds that all wore headscarfs. I don’t know if they were religiously observant bluebirds or simply fashion conscious, but they (and Cindy by extension) must be riddled with disease! It’s a miracle she wasn’t quarantined.

Before I delve into my main issues with this film, let’s talk a few random points:

Cindy’s room looks like something from a hipster’s tumblr. Spartan with beautiful antique furniture and a view to die for.

The opening track sounds like a direct rip off of Funny Face. Half expected Fred Astaire to come bounding in wearing Ginger Rogers like a boxing glove.

Nice to see SJP got a short cameo.

The ugly sisters sing about as well as I do.

Why is Tweedle Dum a messenger for the king?! Seriously. Same character.

Is Cindy running a rodent sweatshop in the attic? I think so. Primark are all over that shit.

Why are the only people of colour the palace guards? This thing is a white wash.

The film is full of random assumptions. The king assumes the Prince hasn’t found a woman he loves yet because he’s picky (he’s probably gay, mate). Cindy assumes the gender of mice. Disney assumes I want to sit through this. Assumptions EVERYWHERE.

Nice to see Sarah Jessica Parker getting work again. Also, what is that goose doing?

So, with that I should raise two final points. Firstly, who is this random magical bint!? She appears out of nowhere with barely an explanation. Where was she for the past decade when poor Cindy was in indentured servitude?! “Oh don’t worry! Here’s a pumpkin and a dress a drag queen wouldn’t be seen dead in!”. Also: serious bingo wings. However, her fashion choices aren’t the most important aspect. The most important thing is my second point: feet! What the fuck is it with this movie and feet?! Cinderella ain’t got any toes!

Bitch got no toes!!!!

Seriously look at it! She has weird dolphin feet. Just flippers. What the fuck?! And with that being said, why do the shoes not disappear? Everything else disappears or returns to it’s normal form at the stroke of midnight. But the shoes somehow miraculously stay. The Prince then descends on the town looking for his wife to be with no idea what her face looks like, just the fact she had nice shoes on. “I didn’t bother to look at your face, I don’t look at faces, I just dig your feet”. It seems the Prince has a thing for those little piggies. Plus, he’s clearly just a narrative device to fulfil Cindy’s veracious sexual appetite.

Who makes a shoe out of glass?! REALLY!? GLASS!! Health and safety department on line 1. These GLASS shoes also take one hell of a beating and fit no one. It appears as well as having fused toes, Cindy also has microscopically small feet that no one else can fit into. GLASS SHOES! And they don’t even shatter when a million desperate ladies are trying to cram their cankles into this weird sci-fi crystal stiletto. But apparently drop them and they explode into a million shards with the slightest percussion. No. Sorry. Not buying. GLASS. SHOES.

So would I recommend visiting Cinderella’s chateau? Nope. Don’t bother. A waste of your rods and cones. Unless you dig feet, in which case get in the fucking bin. There’s very little to recommend it as a film. And even less so as a story. It’s played out and we all know it. It’s not in anyway improved by singing rodents, lice ridden bluebirds, a foot fetishist, GLASS SHOES, and Kathleen Turner charging by the hour. This pied-á-terre is not worth a visit… Yes that was another foot pun.

3/10 poor animation, feet, health and safety, not porn, dull music, mice, animals, a little bit racist, feet, and feet again.

[bright-eyes-hope]

Get to Know Me!

I was tagged by @fuwaprince ! *.*

Rules: Answer these 92 statements (what, how I answer a statement?) and tag 20 people

Last: 1. Drink: Water. I love water. ^u^ 2. Phone call: My granny saying good night. <3 3. Text message: My best Bro comforting me after I had a nightmare. :u: <3 4. Song you listened to: Not entirely sure … maybe Houkago Tea Time's U & I. 5. Time you cried: When I re-read Around the corner. :-: </3

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: sure 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Well … sorta. 8. Been cheated on: yeah 9. Lost someone special: Sadly yes. Diabetes can be such a bitch. </3 10. Been depressed: I … am not sure … probably reactive depression … and borderline … 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No! Since my biggest demon is Emetophobia, I managed not to throw up from alcohol. ('^')

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: orange, light blue, turquoise, (pastel) lilac

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes, a bunch actually. <3 16. Fallen out of love: No. 17. Laughed until you cried: Probably. I've spent some time with my Bro, so chances are pretty high. ^.^* 18. Found out someone was talking about you: No. 19. Met someone who changed you: Difficult … probably … in one way or another. '~' 20. Found out who your friends are: Well … I knew that before … 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes. ^-^' Don't people usually add their partners on Facebook? ^.^'''

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I think all of them … since Pet Society has been taken down, I lost my online friends over the years … ._. 23. Do you have any pets: Yass! Track my Instagram for loads of cat pics of my beauties Aphrael and Dracul! <3 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah ... 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Went for lunch with my mom and granny and got some nice Pjs and socks with Pusheen and Grumpy Cat on them. <3 26. What time did you wake up: Today? At 6:30 'cause I had a doctor's appointment. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Coming home after watching GoT with the squad and forcing myself to go to sleep. XD 28. Name something you can’t wait for: The arrival of my dearest Mimic tomorrow afternoon! *o*/ 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: I'm seeing her right now when I look up. XD 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Hm … maybe I should have taken that Judo class in middle school ... 31. Listening right now: Watching Hannibal again. It's the scene with the pigs … I'll spare you the exact ambient noise. :P 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: You bet! XD There is my Bro's brother, then an old friend from school, a fellow YouTuber, a guy we play boardgames and do LARP with, and of course my boyfriend. XD Oh and an actor. I've got plenty of Toms in my life. <3 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Right now my ears are closed completely … like I can't hear … it's been the left one for hours and it just switched to the right one … at least it's not both at the same time. -.- 34. Most visited website: YouTube I guess. Or Tumblr? 35. Mole/s: Lots of them. Mostly on my arms and shoulders. 36. Mark/s: Plenty of scars, most of them on the left arm and hand, two on my chin and one on the right knee. Probably a few stretch marks on the boobies. 37. Childhood dream: Hm … I always wanted to live in a house full of cats … now I live with two and the house is pretty full of them. =^.^= 38. Hair color: Crimson Red! <3 39. Long or short hair: Hard to say … it's not really short but also not really long anymore. I totally love my current hairstyle tho, it's super practical and looks really good on me. ^-^ 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes. ^///^ 41. What do you like about yourself: I'm kinda comfortable with my body in general. I also like that I managed to keep some personality traits no matter what others thought about it. :P 42. Piercings: Nope. 43. Blood type: 0+ 44. Nickname: My nick, gamertag etc. is Brighteyes, Bright Eyes, Brighteyes Hope and so on. 45. Relationship status: Very much in love. :P 46. Zodiac: Virgo 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Not this again. XD OK, My Little Pony(,)Friendship is Magic, Steven Universe, Himouto Umaru Chan, K-On!, Madoka Magica, Princess Tutu, Sakura Trick, Selector Infected Wixoss, The IT Crowd, Star Trek, I probably forgot something. ._. 49. Tattoos: Maybe … someday … soon. ^x^ 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: Two times. A tonsillectomy at 17(?) and a conisation at 26. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Different shades of red, I also had black lowlights once. 53. Sport: I wish … ^-^' I really wanna get stuff done! 55. Dream Vacation: Tokyo! All the shopping! *o*/ 56. Pair of trainers: Uhm … colorful no name ones? ^.^'

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Chocolate. Other sweet stuff. Chips. And occasionally a salad. 58. Drinking: Mostly water. I also like cool tea and juice. Like lemonade. 59. I’m about to: Go to bed and watch more YT there. XD 61. Waiting for: My ear to open up again. -.- Gotta see the doctor tomorrow if that will not happen soon ... 62. Want: The job I'm looking forward to in autumn. The courage to tell people how I feel about them. To learn more skills to get the best possible version of myself. ^u^ 63. Get married: Probably not. Most likely not. XD 64. Career: As said before, I'm kinda becoming a graphic designer or something. I hope one gets plenty of muneyz for doing tha graphicz.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: … they usually go together, no? o.O 66. Lips or eyes: Uhm … depends on if you wanna taste or see stuff ... 67. Shorter or taller: Don't care. 68. Older or younger: Don't care. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Hm … I've never given arms much thought … I might as well go for belly. .3. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive! Over sensitive to loud shit actually. 72. Hook up or relationship: Oh, there it is. OK. *deep breath* Why not both? *outs herself as poly* (｡>//u//<｡) 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I'm gonna go for hesitant … safety first, kids.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Don't think so ... 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes, a bit ^.^ 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope. 77. Turned someone down: Yes. 78. Sex on the first date: I … honestly can't remember … °.° 79. Broken someone’s heart: Maybe. :_: I'm so sorry. 80. Had your heart broken: Yes. Learning from mistakes and stuff. 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: Yes. 83. Fallen for a friend: Happens. ^///^

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yes! 85. Miracles: Hm … in a way. 86. Love at first sight: What exactly does that mean? Really seeing a person for the first time? As in not knowing anything about them except their looks? In that case of course not. o.ô That's attraction or whatever but the term „love“ means something entirely different. 87. Santa Claus: Never, I grew up as a protestant child. XD Got unsure of my belief in the last few years ... 88. Kiss on the first date: Yes … I think so … '~'

OTHER: 90. Current best friends names: Ugh, where to draw the line? Let's only do the ones who are like Family this time: Of course my brother from another mother: Oli And my dear Mimic who is always welcome at my home if she comes back to this country. <3 91. Eye color: Blue 92. Favorite movie: (」゜ロ゜)」 OK. Let's say Studio Ghibli. Big Hero 6. Land before Time, Toy Story, Room 1408, Black Swan, Zoomania, Kamikaze Girls and everything with Jodie Foster.

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