#i spent way too much time choosing everyone's wand and patronus

[cursedwithwords]

HP Next Gen Headcanons: Roxanne

Full name: Roxanne Alicia "Rox" Weasley

House: Gryffindor

Wand: spruce and dragon heartstring

Patronus: albatross

Profession: tattoo artist

Sexuality: bisexual

Image(picrew):

Bonus: The same age as James and Louis and the oldest of the three. High-key an anarchist. Gave herself her first piercing and her first tattoo. Pierced Louis' ears one summer after he lost a bet. Played as a Beater on the house team. Thrifts for her clothes so she can modify and personalize her wardrobe. Inherited all the freckles. Her best subject is Charms. Is closest to her mother but doesn't have the best relationship with either parent.

[sparklingchan]

Stray Kids AU

Stray kids in hogwarts

A/N: This was a very, very long pending AU and I'm so glad its turned out so good. I might have added some animals as patronus which are not actually mentioned in the books or movies or even pottermore but bear with me lmao. Also the houses are totally based on my opinion so you're open to disagree but please don't hate on my work :(

1. Bang Chan

House : Gryffindor

Patronus: Kangaroo

Wand : Aspen wood with Phoenix feather core (10 inches)

Favorite subject : Astronomy

Part of the dueling club and the quidditch team.

Born to a muggle mother and a pure blood father, Chan had spent most of his childhood in normal muggle schools,among other muggle children.

At home,though,he was surrounded by magic all the time. The moving pictures,the flying broomsticks ,the talking doormats,his gryffindor parents had a hard time explaining things to him at home.

On the day he received the letter of acceptance from Hogwarts ,his happiness saw no bounds. He spent the next few days imagining his life there,captivated by the stories his father told him.

And when the day arrived,he was more excited than anyone else on the Hogwarts Express to be finally visiting the place he had heard so much about.

During the sorting ceremony,the moment the hat touched Chan's head, it immediately yelled 'Gryffindor !'

By the end of his second year,he was already a seeker in the Gryffindor quidditch team and also an active member of the dueling club.

He was easily liked by teachers and students and his friendly, sweet nature was what made you fall head over heels for the quidditch team captain in your 6th year at Hogwarts.

You two were the same age but you being in Hufflepuff and him being in Gryffindor, you could only admire him from afar.

Having played with him on the same field for years ,it was hard not to admire the brilliant boy from Gryffindor everyone adored.

But you only got to know him properly when you guys ended up at the hospital wing after a tough game of quidditch against each other.

And needless to say,your relationship changed completely from that day onwards.   

2. Lee Minho

House: Slytherin

Patronus: Cat

Wand : Cedar wood with dragon heartstring core (7 inch)

Favorite subject: Defense against the dark arts.

Part of the dueling club.

Born to pure blood parents, Minho had grown up fascinated by magic and the idea of one day being able to use it on his own.

The day he received his acceptance letter, he had danced around the whole house in excitement of going to a place where he'd have no restrictions on magic whatsoever.

And when he finally stepped into the infamous castle,he was spellbound by the beauty of the place and the mystical world surrounding it.

His parents,though both ravenclaw themselves,always knew that Minho would one day be sorted into Slytherin.

And they were absolutely right because the moment the professor put the sorting hat on his head, it said 'Slytherin!' in a thundering voice.

He was a mischievous, witty yet charming person. All the ladies would swoon over him and when he joined the dueling club in his 4th year,his popularity increased even more.

Being from the same house as him,you would often bump into him in the common room or the hallways and just like all his other admirers,you would patiently wait for him to notice you one fine day.

You two were good friends,at the least and you've also noticed that he talked to you more than any other person despite being so famous.

Not wanting to give false hope to yourself ,you denied it everytime people asked you if you two were dating but deep down,you wished you were .

During your 5th year,you got into trouble with the teachers for a small prank you played on those annoying Gryffindor girls, resulting in you not getting your parents' signature for a trip to Hogsmeade.

You were super upset and angry until Minho came into the common room,asking if you wanted to spend the day together since you both were the ' only Slyhterins ' in Hogwarts at that moment .

You agreed, of course, and that turned out to be the best decision of your life.

3. Seo Changbin

House : Hufflepuff

Patronus: Bunny

Wand : Cherry wood with dragon heartstrings core (9 inch)

Favorite subject: Potions

Part of the dueling club and Chess club.

His parents were both muggles who had never known anything about magic or Hogwarts so they were a very confused when their little son started doing things which didn't have any logical explanation behind their occurrences.

When Changbin received the Hogwarts acceptance letter,he was THRILLED.

His parents agreed right away,happy that there was a place where Changbin might meet people like himself and feel more at home than he ever will in the muggle world.

His sorting ceremony was very intresting ,mostly because the hat took so much time choosing between Slytherin and Hufflepuff and finally decided he belonged to the latter.

Changbin had a vibrant aura around him,making it very easy for him to make friends and acquire the teacher's favour.

A smooth talker and quick thinker,Changbin quickly found a place in the dueling club and the chess club.

He was also your best friend since the first time you met him at the Hogwarts Express.

Coming from pure blood parents,you explained everything to him patiently and answered his questions without complaining.

And even though you got sorted into Ravenclaw,your bond with Changbin stayed the same till the 4th year.

For years you had repressed your romantic feelings for him but one fateful night in your 4th year,during Christmas Eve,you ended up spilling out your feelings in front of him.

Needless to say,he was glad that he could finally call you his girlfriend,something he'd wanted to do since the first time he entered the halls of Hogwarts with you by his side.

4. Hwang Hyunjin

House : Gryffindor

Patronus: Llama

Wand: Alder wood with unicorn hair core ( 10 inch)

Favorite subject : Transfiguration

Part of the quidditch team and gobstones club

Born to pure blood parents,Hyunjin had been introduced to magic from a very young age and naturally, he found comfort in it.

It was his birthday when he received the letter of acceptance and instead of the expected reaction of excitement, Hyunjin looked very proud.

The castle walls echoed with the stories his parents told him and it didn't feel like he was going to a boarding school at all ; it felt like he was coming home.

His sorting ceremony too was quick . The moment the hat was put on his head, "Gryffindor " it yelled with pride.

He was very famous among the female students as well as teachers and as years passed by,his popularity only increased.

Although initially he only wanted to join the gobstones club, he ended up trying out for the quidditch team in his 3rd year.

Rejected in his first attempt,he tried out again in his 4th year but this time he had a different reason to try out ; you.

A quiet Hufflepuff with muggle born parents,you had caught Hyunjin's eyes when you were protecting your friends from some bullies.

He had never felt that way about any person before so when he tried to befriend you,he was surprised that you were colder than expected from a Hufflepuff.

Nevertheless, he continued bothering you for a long time and when he heard you were trying out for the quidditch team,he couldn't help himself .

Both of you got in the team and from there on,you and Hyunjin had a wonderful journey together.

5. Han Jisung

House : Slytherin

Patronus: Squirrel

Wand: Ebony wood with Phoenix feather core (7 inch)

Favorite subject: Potions

Part of the quidditch team and school choir

His mother was a pure blood while his father was a muggle, which means Jisung has had the best of both worlds since he was born.

Talkative and chatty,it was very difficult for him to be quiet about the flying utensils and moving pictures in his house,when around his friends.

His reaction to finally getting the letter of acceptance was a mixture of screams,yells and songs.

As his Slytherin mother predicated , he too got sorted into Slytherin almost even before the hat was put on his head.

He tried out for the quidditch in his first year itself and surprisingly,he got into it. By the 5th year,he was a potential leader of the team.

Jisung was also a very keen and creative man who found solace in music which lead him to join the choir in his second year at hogwarts.

Rumored to have been rejected by multiple people, Jisung didn't know that he had secret admirer who would do anything for him -You.

You were in Gryffindor and given the rivalry between your houses,your friends often discouraged you from talking to him so you only ever noticed him from a distance.

But it all changed when he once fell down the stairs of the hallway,and there was no one but you there.

You helped him up and took him to the hospital wing,all whilst he was partly passed out from falling down so many stairs.

When you went to visit him after he had recovered ,he gave you a soft peck on your cheek,thanking you and asked you if you wanted to go on a date with him someday.

And needless to say,you replied with a big yes!

6. Felix Lee

House : Hufflepuff

Patronus: Canary Bird

Wand : Chestnut wood with unicorn hair core (11 inch)

Favorite subject : Herbology

Part of the chess club and charms club

Felix was born to a pure blood father and a half blood mother who were both witty Slytherins back in their day.

When he received his acceptance letter from Hogwarts , his parents took him out on a fancy dinner to celebrate this small yet significant achievement.

Soft spoken and observant,the sorting hat took quite a while to choose between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff but finally ended up choosing the peaceful house of Hufflepuff for an equally peaceful Felix.

His years at Hogwarts were full of adventures, strong friendships and of course,magic.

Having a keen interest in chess ever since he was a child,he joined the chess club in his 2nd year. Never had he seen such big,life size chess pieces and he was more than sure he'd found his place in this huge old castle.

He was exceptionally good at charms spells which led his friends to encourage him to join the charms club and in his 4th year,he decided to finally give it a try too.

You ,too, were exceptionally talented in charms spells and your attention was immediately stolen by the smily boy from Hufflepuff the moment he joined the charms club.

You approached him first ,unusual for a proud ravenclaw like yourself , but you couldn't help yourself around his warm,welcoming aura.

Felix and you befriended each other quickly but both of you knew,deep down in your hearts that there was more to your relationship than just that.

Stolen glances and accidental brushing of hands became intolerable for you. Everyone noticed how you two just fit together ; like puzzle pieces.

You confessed to him first ,the night before your O.W.L exams and you were more than relieved when he told you he felt the same.

From that night on you and Felix have been inseparable and frankly speaking ,you wouldn't have it any other way.

7. Kim Seungmin

House : Ravenclaw

Patronus: Dog

Wand : Alder wood with dragon heartstrings core (11 inch)

Favorite subject : Defense against the dark arts

Part of the school choir and chess club

As one might expect, Seungmin was born to into a family of pure blooded Ravenclaws .

His training in magic started even before he joined Hogwarts and when he was finally given the letter of acceptance, he was filled with confidence and pride.

Obviously, just like every single member of his family tree,he too was sorted out into Ravenclaw ( although the hat was very close to placing him into Slytherin)

He had a burning passion for singing which led him to join the school choir a few months into his first year at Hogwarts.

He didn't have a very huge friend circle ,he liked to stay within his own circle and one would rarely see him going out of his way to make new friends, but you on the other hand were the most famous girl in Ravenclaw.

Desired by many ,envied by some and adored by most ,you were a person who had people to talk to everywhere you go.

People liked being around you,not just because you were friendly and nice but also because hanging out with you would give their social status a huge boost.

But little did they know that as friendly as you appeared in public,you had your heart tightly guarded by high walls. Walls,which you only hoped one person would ever cross ; Seungmin.

Sitting in front the front rows of the classroom or in the dining hall, your eyes would often wander around into the corners where Seungmin would be sitting with his friends,laughing ,eating and enjoying.

Unlike popular belief,you were extremely bad at many things, most important of which was the defense against the dark arts, which coincidentally ( and much to your relief) was Seungmin 's best subject.

Taking the opportunity ,you asked him if he could help you with the subject and although reluctant in the beginning, he agreed to it.

Soon ,you started spending hours in the library with him . Sometimes studying,sometimes just talking. You started missing your social gatherings just to be with him.

You enjoyed his quiet yet honest personality and realised you'd rather have one honest person in your life than hundred liars who pretended to like you.

And when he kissed you late one night in the library ,you knew he too would rather have you than anyone else.

8. Yang Jeongin

House : Gryffindor

Patronus: Fox

Wand : Cherry wood with unicorn hair core (8 inch)

Favorite subject : Herbology

Part of the choir and quidditch team.

Jeongin was born to a Slytherin mother and a Ravenclaw father,both of whom were from pure blood families.

Young and curious, he often found himself intrigued by the magic used by his parents and patiently waited until he could do the same as he grew up.

Receiving his acceptance letter was both a joyous and sad moment for him ; joyous because he'd finally be with people like him,sad because he'd have leave his parents house for most of the year.

Although his parents predicted him to be sorted into either Hufflepuff or Slytherin,they were surprised when the sorting hat yelled 'Gryffindor ! '

Like Seungmin, he too had a passion for music and he soon joined the school choir.

Joining the quidditch team, on the other hand was a result of constant nagging by his father who claimed he was a great player back in his days.

Jeongin didn't expect to get in but he did and that's what led him to you - a curious eyed Hufflepuff who was often bullied for being muggle born.

He would see you running away shyly from your bullies in the hallways but when on the quidditch field,you were a complete monster.

He too had tasted defeat at your hand but he liked it anyway . He liked everything about you.

And when years later,he asked you out on an official date, he reminded you of that defeat and made you promise to never leave his side to compensate for what you had done.

[minervahopebeyond]

Blood Daffodils.

Chapter 21: Encounter.

“This is a bad idea.” He stated as he walked through the hallways towards the Great hall with the rest of the order. “Last year, when the Death Eaters infiltrated the school, they didn’t announce themselves to everyone. Am I the only one who thinks that maybe a less obvious approach would be wise??” He asked turning around, desperately looking for someone who agreed. Most of them ignored him, only one man spoke.

“I think this a flawed plan too.” Kingsley said with a casual tone.

“You aren’t a Gryffindor, are you?” Draco asked raising an eyebrow.

“Ravenclaw.” The man responded with ease.

“That explains it. Hey! Gryffindors: could someone explain to me why are we announcing ourselves before attacking?”

He heard Molly Weasley said something along the lines of ‘this is not the moment or the place for chatting’ and Draco could not imagine a better moment to talk them out of this plan, so yes, it was the moment and the place for chatting. It was Sirius who put an arm around him and answered.

“My my, little cousin, isn’t it obvious? It’s more dramatic this way.”

“Oh good,” He said rolling his eyes. “Let’s get Potter killed but look good in the process.” As soon as he finished the sentence, he coughed and the yellow petals fell from his mouth.

“Don’t worry, kid. He is going to be fine.” Mr. Potter said and Draco couldn’t stop the blush that appeared in his cheeks. It wasn’t necessary to make it obvious to the entire order that Draco cared for the git, was it? He didn’t know how many of them figured out that the Hanahaki was because of Harry, he didn’t want to know how many of them thought that it was pitiful or hilarious.

He was glad that he took every bloody potion to achieve to walk properly alone, that and the adrenaline of seeing Potter again was keeping him moving.

In front of the doors, waiting for them, he saw two thirds of the Golden Trio.

“Ferret!” Weasley whispered rather loudly and ran to meet him, Draco raised his wand and the redhead stopped in his place.

“I’m too bloody pissed off. The only reason why I haven’t casted a severing charm on you is because I don’t have the strength-“

“We know that you are angry, Draco. We’re just happy to see you-“ Granger started to explain and the blond boy snorted.

“Oh, you are happy now, aren’t you?” He said and coughed a few times.

It was Sirius who shut them up and gestured for them to listen.

He saw Weasley hugging his family. If Draco hadn’t been so pissed off he would have been happy for him. Maybe he was, he just wasn’t going to admit it right now.

The voice of his godfather echoed in the Great hall. Draco’s heart ached because, even if Severus had done terrible things, even if he was a bad person, he still cared for him. He loved him and missed him. Thinking that now he could find himself fighting against him made Draco fear the battle field, not because Severus could hurt him, he doubted that, but because he could hesitate in front of him, he could hesitate to stop him and that was a problem.

Then, everybody gasped and the students voices filled the silence. That had to be Harry, it just had to be. The daffodils twirled inside of him, anticipating seeing him, hearing him.

“It seems-“ Potter’s voice stated, determined. “-despite your exhaustive defensive strategies-“

“Now!” Mr. Potter commanded and Draco couldn’t help but to think that this had to be the most epic moment in the history of the school, it would be written in books, now he kind of understood what Sirius meant.

The doors opened and they walked into the Great hall, gaining everyone’s stares and surprised faces.

“-,you still have a bit of a security problem, Headmaster. I’m afraid it’s quite extensive.”

The sass. Draco had never been more in love with him in his entire life. He was just seeing the back of Harry in Gryffindor robes and still, it was the most beautiful thing he ever saw. The flowers were so exited that they slammed themselves against his lungs and, again, petals fell from his mouth.

“How dare you stand where he stood?! Tell them how it happened that night! Tell them how you look at him in the eyes, a man who trusted you, and killed him.”

And Severus drew his wand against Potter but he was being pushed aside by McGonagall so fast that it was impressive. She dueled him away, yelling at him ‘Coward’ before the cheering erupted in the Great hall.

That was when Harry turned around and saw him.

“Draco...”

Every single fiber in his body responded to his name, it was like an Imperious curse was trying to take over him, it was like the Daffodils were tickling him to death, trying for him to get closer.

“A month with out a single Patronus-” He started to hiss, his lungs burning. Draco raised his wand and pointed to him, ready to cast a stinging hex on him. Something that burn, that hurt.

“I’m sorry! We came back to the house and you weren’t there-“ And Draco turned to shot a deadly look at both James and Sirius. “-we didn’t know if it was safe to send you one! We were being followed, I swear to you I meant to come back sooner, I’ve just-“

But Potter’s rant was interrupted by the disgusting Dark Lord’s message. People were screaming in pain, it was so awful that even the flowers were scared. Scared because they were asking to hand in Harry, scared that he only got to see him for a few seconds before it all went to shit.

“You have one hour...” The whispering ended and Millicent Bulstrode was already yelling.

“What are you waiting for? Someone grab him!”

And, oh what a precious and romantic moment: Ginevra stood in front of Potter, protecting him.

‘Well, we knew that she was going to wait for Potter. She is his redhead princess after all.’The toxic voice in his head whispered. It was like it tried to make the daffodils sad and heartbroken so they would end up killing Draco a month early.

The flowers started to hurt him, he ended up coughing wildly before he could control himself. He cover his mouth with his hand, trying to keep more petals from falling, trying to keep the little dignity he had.

“Ferret, no. It doesn’t mean-“ Weasley tried to explain but Draco moved away from him.

“Alright, listen up!” He yelled before casting a Sonorus to make sure that everyone heard him. Potter had his green gorgeous eyes on him and it made Draco feel braver than ever, even if he wanted to strangled him, even if Ginevra was holding his hand in front of everyone. Whatever. He moved towards the center of the hall and continued talking. “As you see: we are here to win this. You all have three choices. One: you can run off and hide in your common rooms, step aside and don’t interfere.”

“Ferret, that’s what they are supposed to do!” Weasley started but Draco ignored him.

“Two! You fight against us and help him.” He choked on the petals just at the thought of another student actually trying to take Potter to the Dark Lord. “Or three: you fight with us, for whatever reasons you may have. Now, this part goes to the Slytherins and anyone who’s family is in a dubious place with this... Choose your side wisely. Your father, your mother, your grandparents: they don’t define you. And when everything is over you will be facing your own choices, your own decisions, the ones you made under the influences of others. Ask yourselves if you want to even fight, if you have the guts to be out there and if you don’t: stay the fuck out of our way.”

He could hear Sirius voice, muttering ‘I’m so proud of him, Jamie’...Draco took a deep breath before saying the most important thing.

“If we win, your involvement in the battle will be crucial. So, again, choose your side wisely. Be cunning, be ambitious, be resourceful and choose something that it’s not going to ruin your entire lives. Most of us know what it is to be sons and daughters of someone who fought for the wrong side, we have been called names since before we could even walk-“ It was Vince who interrupted him.

“Why should we listen to a blood traitor like you?” He spat out and he saw Harry already starting to walk towards him but Draco raised his hand, gesturing him to stop.

“Because, Vince darling, when this is all over, I’m not going to have a trial but you just might.” He directed his voice to the rest of them. “Those who are with us step forward, those who are not fighting go to your common rooms at once, and those who are against us... I don’t care what you do, attempt to take Potter away and I will murder you.”

He stole a glance of Harry and saw that his face was scarlet red. The she-weasel was frowning as he looked at him, something close to surprise flashed through her eyes. Draco couldn’t guess what was so surprising about him defending Potter, she was there at the ministry on fifth year. He rolled his eyes and turned to the students.

As soon as he saw him, he felt relief, finally. Theodore was the first to come forward, bless him. He confirmed everything that Draco knew about him. It sent a shiver down his spine, seeing him again. He had spent all these months so bloody worried and here he was, safe, and leaving everything behind because he knew that it was the right thing to do, because he was brilliant, cunning and brilliant.

“Draco, it’s good to see you.” He said with a trembling voice and a smile that made his hazel eyes shine, he could see the tears appearing in them but he coudn’t be sure if they were from happiness or sadness. Draco couldn’t help but to run towards him and hug him.

“You bloody prat! I’m so happy that you are alive!”

“Not for much longer but whatever.” He said returning the hug. “Let’s kill the noseless bastard.” He sounded so fearless, he sounded so much like Theo before taking that stupid Mark.

“Couldn’t agree more, darling.” And as soon as he heard her high pitch voice he abandoned Theo’s arms to pull her into a bone crushing hug. Pansy was already crying like an idiot

And suddenly, they found themselves enveloped in another pair of arms that he recognized as Blaise’s

“I’ve missed you, Dragon.”

And Draco moved his hand to wipe his tears before pushing them all away.

“Oh I miss you all too but how about we get a move on!”

The majority of the students had already left and the ones who remained weren’t making any attempt to take Harry so the flowers relaxed a little. He turned around to look at the Golden Trio.

“Potter, what do you need?” He asked, waiting for orders.

Those green eyes just kept looking at him. Harry walked towards him, he looked nervous as hell, and to be honest, Draco didn’t think that the chosen one could get nervous once the final battle was here.

“To talk to you.” And, out of the corner of his eye, Draco could see Sirius jumping in his place and shaking Mr. Potter in excitement.

“Save any explanations you have for after all of this. I’m still furious.”

“I know and this can’t wait.”

The flowers twirled inside of him. Sirius and Mr. Potter’s words echoing in his head, but he didn’t want it to be like this, never like this. He felt someone push him forward to meet the green-eyed boy, when he looked over his shoulder Theo had a sour smile on his face. Draco frowned as he looked at Harry again.

“Save it, Potter. There is a war going on in case you haven’t-“

“I know, just let me-“

“-noticed. We should be preparing the wards, looking for the chamber-“

“For fuck’s sake, Draco-“

“-and getting those stupid fangs. Speaking of that, where is the sword? You took it-“

“I LOVE YOU” And Potter shouted it so loud that it seemed to ring in his ears. Maybe he imagined it, maybe he had started to imagine things. He blamed Sirius and James for giving him this hallucinations.

Harry took more steps forward and grabbed his hand.

“Are you cured?” He asked with hope in his voice, with desperation, and something shattered in Draco’s heart. His lungs started to burn more than ever and all the potions he took were in vain because he was coughing Daffodils again, almost a sea of yellow petals seemed to be getting out of his mouth and the suffocation started not much after that.

His body felt so cold. His eyes were filled with tears from the pain. When he looked up, he saw Her standing a few meters away from him, waving. Her transparent dress seemed to shine with the right light, her long silky black hair fell around her all the way up to her knees. Death took a step foward, Draco coughed even harder.

“KID!” He heard Mr. Potter yelled but he just kept on coughing.

‘IT’S A LIE! HE IS LYING, HE DOESN’T WANT US! SHE CAME TO TAKE US BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT US! LIES. HE LIES. IT HURTS. IT HURTS SO MUCH!’

Someone told Potter and of course he was trying to save him. Of fucking course. It wasn’t truthful, it wasn’t honest, it wasn’t real. Why couldn’t he have waited until June? Now Draco was leaving a month earlier, with no goodbyes. Alone.

“Draco” He heard Theo’s chocked voice.

He wanted to say goodbye now but he couldn’t, words weren’t coming out. He just coughed. Again and again and again. Petal after petal. Daffodil after Daffodil. When would it end? When? Because if the amount of Daffodils were proportional to his love for Potter they could be here watching Draco cough forever.

Pain.

Suffocation.

He looked up again. Weasley’s and Granger’s faces were all messed up, confusion written all over their expressions. Beside them, Death kept looking at Draco.

’Fuck, just take me already. End this suffering.’

He heard Death laugh, soft and beautifully.

“Oh, child. You are just not listening to him”. She says but only to him, nobody else seemed to hear Her.

Potter was still frozen beside him. Tears coursing down his cheeks. Maybe he felt guilty for not loving Draco back. Not like he wanted.

“Harry! Do something!!” He heard Granger yell with desperation.

He felt Potter’s smell fill his nostrils and it made everything worse, he could also feel him hugging him, so warm. Draco tried to free him self from the hug but he couldn’t, he just kept coughing as he moved restlessly in Harry’s arms.

“Listen to me, please listen-“ Potter kept whispering in his ear, his voice cracking and trembling with every word. “- I’m in love with you. Do you hear me? I’ve been in love with you since you first set a foot on the Headquarters and hid under the table when Snape got there. Remember that? I was so nervous to have you near and so mad that I didn’t understood what it was, okay? You fought beautifully at the Ministry, I won’t ever forget how you looked.” But Draco couldn’t stop coughing, not even for a second, the flowers just kept on falling from his mouth, he was forcing them out. “Maybe I’ve liked you since forever, I don’t know. I always felt drawn to you in some way or another... But I realized it last year on your birthday, I saw you dancing with Nott, wishing that you would smile at me like that and I knew. It has always meant something for me, okay? Every time I’ve kissed you it has always meant the world and I just kept trying to make you fall in love with me but it was useless because you already were, I was just too blind to see it.And Draco, It felt like falling. I fell in love with you and it felt like the grounds disappeared under me and I fell. Loving you feels just like ‘Love of my life’. Please believe me, please, please, please-“ And he took Draco’s face in his hands and started to kiss him between the coughs.

It felt like coming home. Kissing him felt like home and the flowers started to settle inside of him. The coughs became smaller and Harry used that moment to separate their mouths.

“I’m in love with you, I want a future with you, I’ll take veritaserum for you to believe me. And fuck this war, you are more important.” He said vehemently and kissed Draco again.

‘ Loving you feels just like ‘Love of my life’.

The daffodils roared in triumph, twirled inside of him, he could feel how loved they felt, for the first time ever. They kept repeating:

‘HE LOVES US, HE LOVES US, HE LOVES US, HE LOVES US, HE LOVES US, HE LOVES US, HE LOVES US-‘

And he felt it. As they kissed with so much love... It wasn’t comparable to anything he ever felt. Neither of them were holding back, not anymore.

‘It felt like falling’

He felt it in his heart, like fire that spread from it towards his lungs. Burning everything, burning everything in its path, purifying it.

It was strange because he still felt something there, and he wanted to cough so badly that he had to push Harry away and put his hands on the floor to balance himself.

“Do you still not believe me? Are you kiddin-“

But Draco raised his eyes and shook his head in the middle of the coughing fit, trying to get him to understand that he did believe him, he just needed to get something out. Confusion and pain appeared in in his face and he moved to hug Draco from behind whispering lovely things, about how he loved the smell of the Daffodils, how precious it was that Draco loved him this way, how special he felt, how beautiful Draco was and how kind he was.

Everyone was watching them, in Draco’s head everything took so much time, every single coughing fit did, but If he thought about it, Potter had just said he loved him for the first time like five minutes ago and the proceed to rant everything in lightning speed, trying to make Draco believe him.

He coughed a few more times and felt the daffodil touching his uvula, making him gag. He couldn’t force it out any more, something was still in his throat and it was attached to the fucking flower.

He opened his mouth and put his fingers inside of it, trying to reach the bloody thing, gagging again in the process.

“Ferret, what the fuck are you-“

But Weasley was cut short by Draco pulling the Daffodil out of his mouth. He could feel the stem sliding off his throat as he did, sliding off his tongue, tasting even worse than the flowers. The leaves were as long as the stem, pointy on the end, tickling him as he took them out, he wondered if that was what it tickled in his lungs more than the petals.

“Oh my god-“ Granger said as Draco pulled out the last part of the plant, the ones that they were so worried about: the roots.

And there it was, his whole disease, all the Hanahaki contained in a single flower. He took a deep breath, as deep as he could, as deep as he wished for the last two years and it was wonderful.

“Oh thank Salazar...” He whispered and laid his weight in Potter’s arms behind him before turning around and kissing him senseless. “I love you too. So fucking much.” He said between kissed, so honest. For the first time ever he could say it. He could love him without trying to hide it.

He could hear Sirius and James cheering, Pansy yelling ‘fucking finally’, he was pretty sure that Blaise and Ron were crying and Granger was clapping in excitement.

“This is all very moving but could we prepare ourselves already?” He heard Mad-eye Moody exclaim with annoyance and Draco pushed Harry apart from the kiss, and the green-eyed let out a groan.

“You would think that with me being the ‘chosen one’ I could kiss the love of my life in peace, but no.”

And for the first time in a really long time Draco didn’t feel the flowers move or tickle, not even in the least. It was marvelous as it was lonely. The only thing that reacted to Harry’s words was his heart, beating like crazy as he said ‘love of my life’.

He took a quick glance to where Death was only to find that there was no one there. She left, just like the flowers.

“They are really gone, you said that and nothing moved or tickled, they are gone for good.”

Harry helped him get up and planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Good. Now we can focus on other things.” He said smiling.

“Like the battle, you mean.” He said with a half amused smile and Potter sighed in exasperation.

“Yes, like this stupid battle. Are you good to fight?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“Never better. Scared, Potter?” He replied with a smirk.

“You wish.”

And everyone started to get to their places.

[gloves94]

To Be So Lonely [Draco Malfoy] 12

Rating: PG-13 Pairings: Draco Malfoy/OC

Chapter warnings: Angst!

Raised as an orphan, Nel Saintday, endured years of torture from the Slytherin House. The Dark Lord only allowed her existence for her to serve a very specific vile purpose for him. Her birthright dictates for her to choose a side in the Wizarding War… But what would happen if she dares defy the Dark Lord and his wishes? And what happens when she falls for her tormentor? Will Nel fulfill her life’s purpose? And what side will her tormentor, Draco Malfoy, choose? The light that calls to him or the darkness…

CHAPTER MASTERLIST MY MASTERLIST

Elowen could not stop crying.

It almost seemed as if everything she been bottling up for the past couple of years simply came spilling out in exhausting shivering sobs. "I-I'm so sorry," she tried to stop the tears, but they didn't seem to have an end. Professor Lupin sat on the edge of his desk simply observing the poor girl. She sat on his chair wiping away the tears with a wet hand. Lupin had dismissed Harry the moment he woke up. Harry had wanted to linger when he saw how hard the girl was crying, he had never seen anybody cry so hard before.

"Eat it, come on. It'll make you feel better," The professor encouraged signaling to the chocolate bar that she had been holding in a hand. She obeyed and took a small bite.

How mortifying was this. Crying in public and worst of it in front of a professor. She didn't want to burden him with his emotions. He probably had better things to worry about.

"I feel like there's a lot to unpack here Ms. Saintday," Lupin spoke in a calm voice. "First and foremost - Who did this to you?"

She remained silent as fewer tears sliding down her face.

"Nel," Lupin licked his lips. Despite her silence he was patient. "If you want me to help you, you have to cooperate with me. As a professor I have to report this. I can give whoever did this to you detention."

It was sweet of Professor Lupin to want to make things right, but a petty detention wouldn't do it. She was going to make them suffer just as much as they had made her suffer.

"Unless, of course, you'd rather take this up with Professor Snape."

Merlin. No. Snape would probably make Nel clean toilets for the rest of the year for this. Of course, it would only be a matter of time before Snape and the rest of Hogwarts found out just what had happened at the Three Broomsticks.

"I'll take care of it professor," she mumbled.

At this point she didn't care if she was cursed. She was sick and tired of those Slytherin bastards. She was sick of being looked down upon. She was sick of being told she didn't belong in the house. Of being the misfit the class. To make matters worse she felt so stupid and more than anything naïve forever trusting Malfoy. The arsehole probably didn't even know who had abandoned her in the abbey to begin with.

"Did they hurt you?" he asked concerned.

She remained silent. He could see the hurting reflected in her expression. The lust for vengeance that blazed in her dark eyes. She had spent the entire trip back to Hogwarts plotting the horrible things she would do to those boys. She'd make them with they were dead. She thought dramatically.

"Vengeance is not always the solution Nel. Fighting fire with fire is not going to solve anything," he said wisely. "Vengeance both poisons and drains the soul," he advised.

She fought the urge to scoff at his words. Of course, Lupin wouldn't understand. With his kind smiles, chocolates and easy nature. What would Lupin know about vengeance? The scars on his body made her want to think otherwise but his nature was contrasting to his rough appearance.

"I couldn't help it professor. They made me so angry. I was so, so angry. I was so embarrassed. I didn't even realize when - I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew. Everything blew up and everything and everyone was on fire," her voice cracked as she spoke. Lupin gathered her ragged appearance and her words and her words and putting two and two together put together an idea of what had happened. He had a feeling it wouldn't be long before found out.

"Does this happen to you a lot?" Lupin leaned down so that he was at eye level with his student. Magical outbursts induced by rage… His eyes focused on the moles that doted her face. There was something odd about them. He couldn't help but wonder if…

She nodded weakly.

Lupin seemed deep in thought still looking at the constellation of dots on her face. That was no ordinary birth mark. She had been branded with it. With this very powerful curse.

Considering the third-year's boggart was herself… Lupin sensed there was a hindering darkness inside of the girl. He knew she was a Parselmouth. He knew that her wand was made up of terrible omens of death and then there was the hushed-up fact that she could see Therstals. There was no explanation for it. The most Lupin had at this point was a weak theory that could explain the source of her curse.

"Your Patronus," he cocked his head brushing over to a different subject. "What memory did you use?"

She shook her head slightly. There wasn't one particular memory that brought overzealous love and joy to her. Maybe the first time she made magic at Ollivanders or the first time she walked into Diagon Alley. She could've thought of Lucy but thinking about her was too painful. Knowing she had left and never returned or even bothered to contact her had left a deep wound that was still fresh and aching. "I don't think I have one that's good enough."

Lupin hummed for a moment deep in thought. "Try focusing on maybe not on the memory itself, but on the emotion you felt. Seize that emotion and thwart it."

"Professor," Her eyebrows knotted in fear. "That black thing that came out of my wand- what was that?"

"I believe it was a corrupted Patronus," He began. "It's rare but some witches and wizards that are unable to cast Patronuses can instead sometimes cast these dark energies. I did warn you we were dealing with very advanced level magic."

She butted asking what that was. "I believe a corrupted Patronus has the opposite effect that the spell intends. Instead this creature drains the energy of a person and manifests darkness instead of light. It's what Dementors are made out of. Which would be why Harry fainted." He explained.

The two shared an uncomfortable silence.

"What if I can't cast one?" She asked weakly wiping her nose.

"You will," Lupin encouraged gently. "With time. Next time focus on something that elates you. Something that brings you joy." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "But you can't focus on hatred when you do. You can't choose anger and despair over love and joy. I know that sometimes we can't change our natures, but the few choices that we have, we must choose good and make do with the best we can be. Play at our strengths."

She marinated the professor's words taking them in. Looking into the advice he had given.

"Professor, why are you telling me this?" She asked confused. It almost sounded like he actually cared. Like he knew what he was talking about.

"Because like you, I know what it's like to want to be something else."

Nel was about to ask why he had specifically chosen to use the word something, instead of somebody. What did Lupin know? With his easy charm and kind eyes? Why on Earth wouldn't he want to be himself? Everybody (except Slytherin house) seemed to like him just fine.

"Professor Lupin!" A Hufflepuff prefect just barged into the office while rapidly knocking. "All students and teachers are to report to the Great Hall. Sirius Black is in the castle and has attacked the Fat Lady's portrait."

Xxxxx

All students were gathered in the Great Hall and instructed to spend the night there. Females would all sleep on the right and males on the left of the divided hall. The moment a swollen faced Nel walked into the hall she saw Theodore and Tracey exchange a look and rush to her with concern but before they could get close Snape seized the girl by the arm roughly and dragged her down the dungeons to her office.

"Two students are in the Hospital Ward and it is all your fault!" He scolded roughly as they walked his demeanor completely contrasting to Professor Lupin's.

Snape didn’t let her go until they were inside his office. He walked around his desk and picked up a folded newspaper that had a moving picture of the destroyed wall of the Three Broomsticks.

"Because of you two of my students were injured. Three if you include yourself!" He reprimanded. "Blew up the Three Broomsticks!" He shouted.

She looked at his angry face, at the way his pupils seemed to shrink with anger, and she could feel the tears beginning to swell again. "It-It wasn't my fault," she protested weekly her voice cracking.

"What were you thinking?!" He shouted once again slamming the newspaper loudly against his desk.

"I didn't mean to," She said weakly, eyes scanning around the room seeking for a way out. Almost praying somebody would pray come save her from Professor's Snape wrath.

"Madame Rosemerta is not pleased. Because of you the school has to pay for severe damages that were made to a historical landmark! You inconsiderate, thoughtless, irresponsible girl. You could've killed someone!"

She felt it again. That hot anger pulsing through her body. The type that made her hands shake and her head hurt.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" She finally snapped.

Several vials in the room that held potions and other ingredients rattled for a second before exploding making glass shards fly everywhere. She looked at them fearfully. Her breathing harsh, small chest heaving as she was confused by her brief moment of rage.

"Just as I thought," His shoulders relaxed, and his tone became smooth. Just what was he playing at with his sudden behavioral change.

Once again, the tears had begun to stream down her face. She wiped them away furiously.

"It seems like your outbursts lead to an abrupt destruction of your surroundings… And those in them…" He lowered his head deep in thought a curtain of dark hair hiding his face. "I expect it has to do with your lack of self-control over your woeful adolescent emotions." "I didn't mean to…" She said more quietly. Her arms rounding around her body as she hugged herself.

Snape leaned over his desk. "Control your emotions," He said rather harshly.

"I'm just so angry all the time!"

"Apply yourself Saintday," He said sternly. It was a harsh slap back to reality after having come from Lupin's warm office.

"Sir, why am I like this?" She cried.

As always Snape dismissed her without another word. "We'll finish this conversation later. Elowen from now on you are to report to my office after class every Tuesday and Thursday." He said reaching inside of his dark robes and pulling out a handkerchief and handing it to her.

“I have also already heard Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Zabini’s version of the events that transpired at Hogsmeade. As a punishment they are to report to detention with me for an insufferable amount of time...” He almost made it sound as if it was more of a punishment for him instead of the two boys. “As to you, you are banned from all future trips to Hogsmeade and from the Three Broomsticks until further notice. Thank your lucky stars Madame Rosemerta has chosen not to bring this up with the Ministry of Magic or press charges and surprisingly neither has Mr. Malfoy…” Snape trailed off suspiciously as he looked down at his hand and opened and closed it in the oddest fashion.

It was no shock that Mr. My-Father-Will-Be-Hearing-About-This had already written to daddy dearest to inform him of whatever had happened at Hogsmeade. What was shocking was that Lucius Malfoy, the man who had personally made it his crusade to have Hagrid’s hippogriff executed, was not suing her. This man had decided to have a government serve capital punishment to a magical creature because it bruised his only son’s arm and he wasn’t going to do anything to the girl that actually set him on fire and almost killed him?

It was unsettling and out of character. So was his odd behavior towards her. His intrigue and fascination towards the young Slytherin. Which lead Ned to question and wonder just what exactly did Lucius Malfoy know that she didn’t?

[antoniatzhang]

ok here we go

BASICS

full name: antonia trevisani zhang

birthday: may 15th, 1960

age: 19

pronouns: she/her

current residence: wimbourne house, hemlock room

languages: english, mandarin, italian

BACKGROUND

hometown: siena, italy

previous home: n/a

parents: emilia trevisani and zhang jie

siblings: tbd

pets: lucrezia, a tarantula, plus two dobermanns back in italy named alto and nico

WIZARDING STATS

wand:  11″, occamy feather core, wood tbd, unyielding, lined with occamy eggshell silver. 

patronus: jaguar (uncast)

boggart: tbd

amortentia: tbd

PERSONALITY

strengths: adventurous, thorough, observant

weaknesses: unrepentant, misanthropic, self-centered

MBTI: ISTP-a

alignment: chaotic neutral (?... I just hate the word evil so you be the judge of it)

zodiac sign: taurus

likes: fire, deadlines, quidditch, running, spiders, her dogs, shortcuts

dislikes: people, 

MIRROR

height:5'5

body type: skinny

eye color: pitch black

hair color: pitch black

faceclaim: natasha liu bordizzo

voiceclaim: rooney mara w/ accent

EDUCATION

primary school: london school of witchcraft / class of 1978

hogwarts house: slytherin/ class of 1981

degree: healing sciences, mind magic

extracurriculars: dueling club, quidditch, JWL

classes: tbd

BACKGROUND

People are idiots, of that Antonia is sure. Although she is not particularly accomplished in anything worth remarking, Antonia is entirely convinced that everyone is beneath her, in one way or another. That one? Lazy. The other? Presumptuous. The third is naïve. The fourth, unambitious, the poor thing. She could go on and on about the defects of each and every person in the world, without ever recognizing these same exact defects in herself. She has learnt, after all, that in her, all acts are justifiable, because she is special. Talented. Those who see defects in her are likely jealous, as she’s always been told by her parents. This posture makes it difficult for her to like just about anyone, as their defects always make them seem incredibly unworthy of her time. Upon joining Hogwarts, Antonia decided her most likely chance of meeting decent companies would be joining the Junior Witches League, seeing as her mother had been associated to its Italian branch and always spoke wonders of her sisters. So far, however, she remains unimpressed. Her few good qualities are her impressive talent for jinxes, hexes and combative magic as a whole, which she hopes to show off at dueling club, and her ability to push herself relentlessly in everything physical –adrenaline is a key motivator to Antonia. Quidditch and dueling are the most orthodox ways to get those kicks, but other creative ways are also on the table. Danger strikes her fancy.

A childhood like Antonia’s could be described as picture perfect. The setting of Villa Trevisani, a true Tuscany-style mansion in the outskirts of Siena, Italy, was abundant and dreamy. From an early age, she figured she must have been a very special child – what else could explain the garden, the toys, the clothes, all dreamy and all at the tip of her fingers? She was special, as her father explained. Unlike other kids. Not only was she a witch, she also belonged to a phenomenal lineage, and was therefore entitled to all the best things in life. The company of all those goods made for decent substitute of her parents’ attention. They loved her, sure, but both lived hustled celebrity lives – her mother, Emilia Trevisani, a singer and tabloid favorite celebrity in Italy, and her father, Zhang Jie, a superstar quidditch player who led the Chinese national quidditch team to victory on three World Cups, as their seeker. When the couple met over the 1958 Quidditch World Cup, hosted in Italy, they fell in love fast and suddenly, and were married just under 5 months dating. Jie moved to Emilia’s Villa Trevisani and signed a contract with the Grifoni di Siena, Italy’s most popular team. The couple’s first child, Antonia, came to the world at the same time when their marriage was becoming lackluster and dull. They avoided a divorce for the sake of the child, but she understood their relationship perfectly, from a very young age, and saw that there was no love there. Her childhood days were spent in attempts to trick her governesses, distilling all her energy running through the garden, climbing on the statues, throwing fits. She broke her bones more times than she would be able to tell you, in the most various places, and developed quite the tolerance to pain. In quidditch, she could always push herself to the most dire conditions, and her father supported her involvement in the sport tremendously.

Antonia learned she ought to be proud of her lineage, particularly on her father’s side. More than anything, she held a profound sense of admiration for her grandmother, Zhang Baozhai. Zhang Baozhai was the reason why the Zhang name brought chills to the better informed witch or wizard, principally to those in Asia. A sullen, cutthroat woman, she built a dynasty from the ground. First, through years of political influence in the Chinese Ministry of Magic. Second, forging her own line of work – a business operation that ran on the limits of legality and employed dark magic to fulfill the desires of their costumers, whichever be their nature, and always for a lofty price. Baozhai formed a particular bond with her granddaughter and often treated her with more love than she’d ever had for any of her sons. Their bond was so solid that, upon her passing, Baozhai’s wand chose Antonia, an event that brought herself and her father much pride.

tw: violence, physical abuse

Once, in her teenage years, Antonia thought she’d found true love, and she grasped and clung to it for long, painful months that felt like years. At the age of sixteen, she met an English man – a wizard, and a muggleborn, about five years older than her, all of which made the simple fact of her allowing him to get to know her outrageous. He was in Italy for a mysterious job. He was a mysterious man. Everything about him drew her in and, before she knew it, she was too deeply inebriated to deny her feelings. They lived two months of an intense romance, or so she thought. One day the man disappeared without saying a word, and the mysterious job turned out to be stealing pieces of her family heirloom from her home. This enraged her. For months, all she could think of was confronting him, not for the theft but for the deceit, the ridicule. She pestered her parents everyday about allowing her to move to London, on excuses of the most varied – the quality of education, the cultural enrichment, perfecting her English, even the weather, absurd as it was. Eventually they caved in, as they always did. And so, Antonia moved into London, concluding the last two years of her primary education in London School. During that time, finding her deceiver was like a mission to her – not a day went by that she didn’t dedicate herself to it. When she finally found him, living well-off in a condo, Antonia confronted him in his house. Upon the accusations and demands for explaining himself, she was met with resistance, but not the type she’d expected – the man lashed onto her with overwhelming physical strength. She didn’t remember the details – all she remember was feeling utterly subjugated and reaching for her wand like a drowning man to a life buoy. She stunned him, but it didn’t feel like enough. Nothing felt like enough. Had she been a better person, she would have left and reached out to the DMLE, but instead, she did something else out of unexplainable rage: she attempted to obliviate him. And failed. Miserably. Instead of forgetting her, or anything, he forgot everything, including basic motor functions. He went into vegetative state. This earned him a one-way ticket to St. Mungus, and Antonia earned an expulsion from school. But not one that couldn’t be lifted by her father, who knew just who to persuade with words and whose palms to grease. Antonia came out of this traumatic event feeling victorious, and felt not a pinch of regret for what she did. In fact, by the time she had to choose her degree, she thought it would be ironic to choose Mind Magic as her degree, with particular interest to obliviating. She still visits him in St. Mungus every year, traditionally during Christmas time.

TL;DR

yea sorry I sometimes overdo it here’s the tl;dr:

- hates everyone, think’s she’s better than anyone

- have you ever met someone who always turns the conversation into something that’s 100% about them, like, almos doesn’t even pretend they’re listening? yup that’s her

- spoiled af, if you’ve watched murder of gianni versace, think andre cunanam’s dad and you’ll get the picture of her fathering profile

- adrenaline junkie

- tw violence/physical abuse: ex-boyfriend-turned-conman tried to be physically violent to her so she stunned and obliviated-ish him (ik makes no sense, but she was in chaos), except she didn’t know how to obliviate someone and ended up turning his brain into mashed potatoes. figured, welp, guess I have a talent for the thing, might as well become an obliviator. so now she’s studying mind magic.

- I’m going with death eater long term (duh), please hmu with plots if you have any ideas!!!

- also yes I was obviously inspired by natasha’s ethnicity (chinese + italian), this is not a coincidence

[cleganegirl]

A Lonely Raven

Request by @thephenomenalkingofthebrogues394 could I request Snape finding out during defense against the dark arts that readers in love with him after her patronus comes out as a raven (which his turned back into after the war) some fluff and maybe smut? thanks!

PART ONE!

WARNING: SMUT SMUT SMUT.... 

The war had ended, many lives lost, yet with the wounds and the mourning came happiness, a hope for a better future. No dark shadows hanging on the shoulders of the community, but a family that was connected without blood but with something purer, hope. 

Hogwarts had been repaired, nothing could be seen of the battle it had housed within its grounds, but the ghost of what once was surrounded it like a sheath. Once again students and Professors wandered the corridors, took lessons in the rooms and slept in the dorms. New positions opened up and made way for fresh beginnings, new students, new teachers. Yet, one same old fixture had stayed, Severus Snape, he might be the same old greasy haired, grumpy teacher, yet there was some difference in himself. He didn't go back to teaching potions, deciding to keep Defence Against The Dark Arts. His once galloping doe Patronus now resembled his Raven friend from years ago, before Lilly, before the wars and before he lost himself. You slumped against the wall, observing the others conjuring their own Patronus'. The looks of disbelief and happiness spread across faces as a black cloak swished in and out between the students, offering criticism in a slow drawl. You had hoped with everyone being so busy that no one would notice you taking time out from this one. Your heart fluttered with every sighting of the Raven haired teacher, you knew it was wrong to have a crush on an older man especially one who was your Professor. Yet, no matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop yourself, the way he moved and spoke, it was with such an elegant way that had you mesmerised. Your heart would always sink whenever you thought of how he would never be interested in you, you were too young, albeit you were in your last year but he still never gave you a hint of anything other than annoyance. "Ah, Miss Y/L/N did I not ask for you to produce a Patronus?" He had managed to slide himself next to you, leaning against the wall. "Sorry, Sir, I know you did, I just I don't know if I can," you eyed your shoes as you toed at the ground. "Remember, the happier the thoughts you have the better and stronger it will be, use only the happiest," his eyes wrinkled at the corners as he tried to give what he thought would be a sincere smile. "Oh, no, I can do the Patronus but I don't think I should just now, I'm too embarrassed." He eyed your face suspiciously, his eyes narrowed, you could tell he was thinking this over, thinking of the reasons in which you'd not want to do this simple task. For as long as he has known you as a student he has never had a problem, never a detention or a failed exam, no late homework or tardiness to his lessons. So, how does a straight-laced student stand in front of him with the nerve to tell him she won't perform a spell under his command. "Embarrassed? Whatever do you have to be embarrassed about? Is it the animal? You know you don't get to choose that." He sounded mocking yet his face remained emotionless. "I want you to do this now, I can't have others do it and you decide to skip it, what kind of example is that, I'm afraid if you don't I'll have to put you in Detention tonight." You swallowed hard, in all your years here in Hogwarts you had never been given a detention, you certainly didn't want to end this streak. You could feel your heart beating hard in your chest, your blood rushing through your veins, your throat was dry yet you were overproducing saliva. Nervous tears prickled at your eyes, threatening to spill out. You took your wand and raised it slowly, with your eyes closed and the happiness from the memory flooding you, you whispered Expecto Patronum. You could feel the rush of cool air whizzing past you, you opened your eyes slowly and caught sight of those magnificent wings, the solid look of the bird soared through the air, glowing a blue that illuminated his face. A face no longer cloaked in indifference or anger but something other, something unexpected. It seemed more like disbelief, as his eyes followed your Patronus around the room, the Raven that mimicked his very own. You couldn't bear to be in the room with him, you needed escape, you tucked your wand into your robe sleeve and started off at a run towards the  huge wooden door, the Raven followed you as the doors shut behind your retreating figure, with a soft whoosh your dignity and the Raven seemed to embed themselves into the wood of the closed door. Snapes onyx eyes never left the last place he had seen you, his mind was ticking over the last few moments, she had the same Patronus as himself, what did that mean? Did it mean the same as how his meant with Lilly or was it just a coincidence? Is that why she was embarrassed by it as she didn't want others knowing she had the same as him? Was she embarrassed by him? Of course, it had to be that, not in a million years could she like him in any capacity, besides, even if she did she was still a student.   Against his better judgement, he dismissed his class a little earlier for lunch and set off in search for her. He needed to know what had happened and if he could help to fix it. His first stop was the common room, and as he thought there she sat in the corner of the room. Head in her hands. He approached quietly and sat down beside her. "So, do you want to tell me what has just happened?" His voice was cold but softer than usual. You hadn't even heard anyone enter the common room nevermind someone taking a seat beside you. "I'm sorry Professor, I didn't want to do it, I don't know how it is the same as yours but it has been for years." "Are you that embarrassed by me that you want to hide your Patronus?" He seemed saddened by the thought. "I'm not embarrassed by you at all, Professor, exactly the opposite, I'm enamoured by you, I have been since I first saw you, I can't help how I feel. I'm sorry!" You turned your head away from him so that he couldn't see the rosey redness of your flaming cheeks or the fresh bought of tears that welled behind your eyes. Gently, he reached a hand towards your face, taking you by the chin and turning so you were face to face. His nose and mouth mere inches apart from yours. Your heart rate peaked, you thought it was going to break out from your chest with how fast it was beating, the warmth left your face and travelled south, the thought of him touching you, kissing you burnt brighter and hotter in the pit of your stomach, you crossed your legs, squeezing your thighs together to try and stop the throbbing. "Do you know what I would give to kiss your soft lips just once?" His voice was barely a whisper, his eyes darting from yours to your lips and back to your eyes again. You leant in catching him off guard and kissing his lips hard, licking a trail against his lower lip, "You don't have to give anything Professor, just kiss me more." His hands roamed up your thighs as he lent into you for more, tongues dancing against one another, hands clenched in his hair as he got accustomed to your body. He pulled back, "how about we take this to my chambers after curfew tonight?" "But Professor, won't I get into trouble for being out of bed out of hours?" You gave him the sweetest look you could muster. "Don't worry, Y/N, I will make sure you serve your detention with me." You spent the entire day in a haze, your mind spent its time replaying the kisses, the touches, how he tasted and how he smelled. You couldn't concentrate on anything at all and found yourself ghosting through the rest of your lessons. Eventually, after the last student left the common room for their bed, you snuck out through the door and down to Professor Snapes own room. You knocked tentatively, without much of a wait he answered the door in nothing but a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms. You licked your lips, he looked great and yet, you found your mind heading off to the pits of hell again, thoughts of an unsavoury nature rushing through your mind. He smiled as if he knew what you were thinking, "please, come in," he stepped aside to allow you past. You headed into the room which was littered with books, comfy armchairs and a large bed. You sat on the edge of one particularly large green armchair, "I'm sorry I'm late, one of the students didn't head off to bed as quickly as I'd have liked." He shook his head, "no matter, you're here now, would you like a drink? I have butterbeer, firewhiskey, tea or coffee" "I'll have a firewhiskey please," your nervousness was taking over, you could feel the butterflies flapping around, knew you would either get up and run or you'd make an awkward moment out of this and ruin the rest of tonight. He poured two glasses, sat down beside you and handed one over, "be careful, it has a kick to it." You took a gulp from the glass, swallowing it quickly, the liqueur burnt its way down your throat, igniting a fire in the pit of your stomach. With the Dutch courage from the Firewhiskey, you moved your hand from your own lap and placed it onto his thigh, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss." He turned to face you, it was his turn to blush, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to." With an act of courage, you didn't think you had you put your glass down on to the floor, shuffled closer to him, placed your hands onto his shoulders and straddled him. "I've wanted this for a while now professor," you bent your head to his neck, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin, his hands ran down your back and grabbed, over the arse of your skirt and underneath, he squeezed your ass gently, digging his fingers in to the soft plump flesh, pulling you down onto his crotch and rubbing you against it.   You moaned against his flesh, taking the hint you rubbed yourself along the line of his erection that was easily felt through the flimsy material of his pyjama bottoms. His fingers found the edges of your panties, he pulled them to one side and rubbed along the wet lips of your crotch. "Oh, fuck, y/n, I want you so bad!"

[luvknow]

harry potter au | bang chan

*two seconds after putting the sorting hat on* ❝ GRYFFINDOR! ❞

BANG CHAN, half-blood

house: gryffindor patronus: oryx wand: english oak wood with a pheonix core, 13″ & supple favorite subject: astronomy quidditch position: captain/beater

woojin | CHAN | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin

growing up as a half-blood was a very confusing time for chan.

he spent his entire primary education in a muggle school, doing muggle things with muggle children.

but when he was at home, magic was all around him.

all of the pictures moved, all the chores were done with magic, and the family owl and cat were his beloved pets.

chan was a smart boy - he knew not to tell any of his muggle friends about his magical half, even if it was extremely tempting so he could be the most popular boy in school.

it was no surprise to anyone, especially to his hufflepuff mother, that chan was sorted immediately into gryffindor.

he exuded a loud and proud energy, only fitting for someone with a heart of a lion.

chan did well in some classes and others he did just ok. a lot the subjects required a lot of reading and sometimes it was too much on him.

but the one subject he could never get tired of was astronomy.

as a half-blood, knowing that both muggles and witches & wizards lived under the same universe and studied the same galaxies, chan used astronomy as a way to connect both of his roots.

his hufflepuff mother loved astronomy, too - so much that the family went on frequent camping trips to read the stars or to find the planets in retrograde.

on nights when even sending an owl to his family couldn’t ease his homesickness, you could find him at the astronomy tower gazing up at the sky, hoping his family was looking at it, too.

but don’t be fooled! the whole ‘dreamer’ concept might sound really romantic to strangers, but if you are his close friend, you’d soon realize that he’d also tie in astrology to your everyday lives because what’s astronomy without astrology?

“do i want a brass cauldron or a copper cauldron? i mean, my telescope is brass, so i should choose brass, right?”

“oh my god, chan, i don’t know. why are you always so indecisive?”

“i’m sorry! it’s because i’m a libra.”

“...”

despite the on-going house rivalry, chan didn’t really care for that kind of petty stuff.

ravenclaw, hufflepuff, hell even slytherin, as long as you were nice then he didn’t mind you.

but on the quidditch pitch, everyone was his enemy.

chan used to play baseball a lot during his muggle years and he thought well, being a beater is kind of like the same thing, right?

he wasn’t completely wrong, but he greatly misjudged the weight of the bat and the bludger.

lo and behold, he became one of the youngest beaters in gryffindor history and made his way up to becoming the captain.

being a captain had its perks - he became so popular and well-liked throughout the castle that houses that weren’t playing against them in a match rooted for gryffindor to win.

even if being popular was exciting, he didn’t like that it took so much time out of his nights. he hasn’t been able to visit the astronomy tower recently because of it.

one night, after finally getting a lot of time to himself, he visited the astronomy tower after what seems like forever and a day.

to his surprise, he was not alone when he arrived.

“_____?” he said quite loudly, causing you to jump and knock down your telescope.

“merlin, chan! don’t just sneak up me like that at this hour! goodness, why are gryffindors always so loud...”

“sorry!” he chuckled, settling down next to you. “i’m not used to sharing this space is all.”

“it’s not your space to share,” you scoffed.

“what are you doing out so late?”

“totally forgot to do the homework that’s due tomorrow. you?”

“no reason. i just really like it up here.”

“how did you sneak out of your common room?”

“i use a sob story that the fat lady can’t resist. how about you?”

“i’m a prefect. guess it’s not really considered sneaking out though, huh?”

“you’re a prefect? shouldn’t you be patrolling right now?”

“i’m off-duty tonight. i only said i was on-duty so i could finish my homework. but no one needs to know that, right?” you smirked.

“and just when i thought that there was no way you could be a slytherin, you prove me wrong.”

“i’ll take that as a compliment.”

chan sat next to you watching the stars in silence as you finished naming all of the stars that were assigned as homework.

you two didn’t know each other too well, but you knew enough that thankfully the silence wasn’t awkward.

you even asked if he could check over your answers.

“they’re all correct. that’s impressive.”

“you’re not the only one at hogwarts who likes this subject. and thank you.”

“heading back now?”

“yeah, i’m tired. you’re staying?”

“just for a little bit - dammit! i forgot my telescope...”

“you can borrow mine,” you shrugged. “just don’t break it - it’s the limited edition one in copper.”

“oooh ~” chan sang, holding your prized possession with care.

“and don’t tell anyone about tonight, ok? i don’t want to lose my prefect privileges.”

“it’ll be our little secret,” he winked.

“ugh, gross.”

but of course, how foolish of you to think chan would be secretive about your little encounter.

he was a gryffindor after all - loud and proud.

“thanks for letting me use your telescope last night,” he said, handing yours back to you at the start of class.

“quiet down, will you!?” you hissed after snatching it from his hands. “people have ears!”

“so what?”

“‘so what’? you’re a gryffindor! i’ll get banned by my house if people know i hung out with you after hours!”

“you’re worried about that but not about abusing your prefect privileges?” chan pouted.

“yes.”

“you’re such a conformer... wanna go back tonight?”

“... yeah...”

that was yours and chan’s thing - going up to the astronomy tower after hours talking about the universe and the alignment of stars and how it brought together a typical gryffindor and an unbothered slytherin.

after a couple of meetings with him, you realized why he was so popular.

it wasn’t just because he was captain of the quidditch team - it was because he was genuine and had a kind soul.

he didn’t care that you were slytherin. he cared that you were just like him, someone who didn’t refuse to befriend someone because of house rivalry.

“you’re late,” you scolded him one evening. you were in the middle of finishing up your astronomy homework last minute as you always did when he took a seat next to you.

“sorry. i had something to take care of.”

“mmm, like what?”

“like signing up for the triwizard tournament.”

without hesitation, you hit chan with your astronomy homework.

“ow, what the hell, _____!”

“are you out of your mind!? why would you do something like that!?”

“i don’t know, it seems like fun!”

“does dying seem like fun to you!?”

“i’ll be fine! besides, the goblet of fire might not even pick me!”

“if it does, you better have a plan,” you tisked.

“i do! and you’ll help me, right?” he pleaded, giving you those weird puppy dog eyes.

“of course i will! i refuse to let those prissy beauxbatons and savage drumstrangs come onto our territory thinking they’ll win...”

“i’ll just pretend your reason is because you’re worried about me.”

“your words, not mine.”

a month before the first task, the beauxbatons and drumstrangs made their unnecessarily choreographed musical entrance into the great hall.

you couldn’t help but notice from your slytherin table how chan didn’t try hiding his gaze set on the pretty blue belles.

when it was time for the drawing, the stars were not in chan’s favor and the goblet spit out someone else’s name.

a huge wave of relief washes over you and you check to see chan’s expression. it was a mixture of both disappointment and relief.

“i can’t believe i wasn’t picked! i would have so won the tournament for us, too!” chan groaned as he paced the floor of the astronomy tower. “i really wanted to fight some dragons, too...”

“honestly, i think you could have won, too. but if it makes you feel any better, i heard dragons aren’t even involved this time.”

“... yeah, that makes me feel a little better.” chan takes his seat next to and can’t help but shoot you a teasing look. “so are you glad i’m not risking my life anymore?”

“i mean, i guess, although now that other hufflepuff guy has to go through it.”

“so i’m on the same level as some hufflepuff to you?” he pouted.

“i suppose i’m... glad... that you won’t die anytime soon...”

“why are you so difficult...”

“it’s my job as your friend.”

days pass and chan’s bitterness about the triwizard tournament soon dwindle to nothing and you’re thankful that you don’t have to hear his bickering anymore.

as the nights get longer, they temperature begins to drop, and your meetings with chan are starting to get shorter because of how unprepared you are with your attire.

as a prefect, you’re not allowed to leave castle grounds past curfew unless necessary, and if you left your common room every time with a sweater, people would start to think you were breaking that rule.

chan didn’t like that you were spending less time with him, so he took the issue into his own hands.

“here,” chan said, handing you a spare sweater.

“what’s this for?”

“it’s cold at nights now and you never bring a sweater, so i brought one in case you need it.”

“o-oh, thanks. that’s kind of you.”

“sorry that it’s a gryffindor sweater. i forgot to pack my slytherin sweater,” he joked.

“even if you did, i wouldn’t wear it - you’re gryffindor hands would have tainted it,” you scoffed.

“you’re so cruel to me!” he whined. “why can’t you be nice to me like the girls from beauxbatons?”

you’d never admit it, but that sentence struck a nerve and now you were a bit irritated.

you had yet to meet a beauxbaton who was nice.

“go stargaze with one of them then,” you muttered bitterly.

“i was kidding ~!” he chucked, nudging your pouty form playfully. “i was thinking about asking one of them to the yule ball, though.”

ok, now you were really irritated.

what made him think you cared about who he was taking to that stupid ball!? it’s not like you told him all the guys that asked you to go!

“then do it,” you stated flatly, hoping he’d end the conversation there. “no one’s stopping you.”

“yeah, but after talking with some of them, i realized they weren’t my type,” he shrugged. “so i thought i’d ask you instead.”

“of course they aren’t your type, they’re all stuck up and boring!” you groaned, almost completely missing the second half of his sentence.

with a hot face and an embarrassed stutter, you asked, “w-wait, what did you say?”

“i said i didn’t want to take any of them to the yule ball and that i’d rather go with you instead.” a shy smile grew on chan’s lips. “so will you go with me?”

“y-yeah, sure. it’ll be fun,” you said, returning his smile with a shy one of your own.

“it’ll be more than fun - it’ll be the most fun night you’ve ever experienced.”

“bold of you to say that.”

“i’m a bold guy,” he smirked. “you know you’re really cute when you’re jealous.”

“shut up.”

getting ready for the yule ball was a pain in the ass.

getting your hair ready, your make-up, shoes, the damn dress, all of it took too much time because you worried too much.

but hey, in the end you looked pretty freakin’ good.

and chan thought so, too, as he waited for you outside of the great hall in a handsome suit.

his eyes sparkled with adoration more and more the closer you approached him and he couldn’t keep his jaw shut.

he was completely awestruck, and it was starting to get embarrassing the longer he looked at you.

“wow...” he gasped. “you look beautiful.”

“just tonight?” you teased.

“no. always.”

“you’re not too shabby yourself, bang chan.”

the two of you barely ate because you wanted nothing more than to dance the night away.

you danced to the hip songs, the goofy songs, the punk rock songs, and lastly, the slow songs.

as soon as the tempo slowed, chan didn’t hesitate to take your hand and wrap them around his neck, knowing how nervous you’d be to make the first move.

“are you enjoying tonight?” he asked, though the grin on your lips was already enough of an answer.

“honestly, it’s the most fun i’ve had in a while.”

“more fun than our nights in the astronomy tower?”

“it’s definitely up there, but nothing could beat that.”

“then let’s go.”

“to the tower? right now?”

“i promised tonight would be the most fun night you’ve ever had and if that means ditching the ball to go to the astronomy tower, how could i refuse?”

without another word, you took chan by his hand and ran away to the astronomy tower and stayed until you saw the sun rising.

chan’s sweaters wouldn’t be able to keep you warm this time, but that’s ok.

his suit jacket and his arms wrapped around you were more than enough.

[batgirl-87]

For the newer ask game: 7, 8, 9, 10, 26! :)

Thank you for asking! =)

Omg these are all good questions that made me really think - you’re putting me to work! =p Which also means this got long, sorry… But I think I should be writing this game’s storyline now after thinking about Olivia Green… =p Also would love to hear other’s opinions on Olivia as well because I am super curious about her! 

Talk About Your MC and Jacob Asks  

7. What memory or thought does MC/Jacob use when conjuring a patronus? What form does it take?

Jacob, being older has a better memory of their mom and time spent together with her than Keira. So memories like them building a fort in the living room in front of the fire to curl up in to listen to a story their mom would read to them on a rainy day or the time their mom unleashed some of her fiery Irish temper on another parent of some kids who were teasing him and his sister for being “freaks” since they’re part Undine, while their parents did nothing but confirm that yes they were freaks so stay away from them, are memories he holds dear. Their mom went off, partially in French - that family had no idea what was happening but knew they pissed off the wrong person! It was awesome! 

Memories with his ‘adopted’ parents are great too, he’s learned a lot from them and appreciates all they’ve done. He loved all the Quidditch practice and support, hiking in the woods and learning more about nature and Native traditions, but while those memories are fond to him I think memories of his birth mom would make for the strongest patronus. 

I have debated a lot about Jacob’s patronus (buffalo, bear, elk - trying to stay away from stag!) and while I thought I settled on buffalo now I’m thinking bear… Whether it’s a buffalo or brown bear both are big, strong, calm, grounded, and fiercely protective of their families.”The bear is indicative of someone with a great reserve of patience and inner strength. They are confident, stable people that others may gravitate to in trying times for stability and healing. Though their quiet nature and tendency to spend time away from the crowd can lead to others thinking they are stern or anti-social, bears are often friendly and curious, and can surprise even those that know them best with something they didn’t think of. Brown bears are known to be the “warriors” of the bear archetype, standing their ground and facing danger to protect others or do what they believe is right, not backing down no matter the danger.” ; “Few possess just the right strength of character for their patronus to take the form of a buffalo. Those that do are dedicated individuals who are fiercely protective of those close to them, and not in a general way, either. Anyone foolish enough to attempt to harm another under a buffalo’s care is unlikely to come out unscathed. They are fighters, and it’s not uncommon for a buffalo to have their own personal code or way of acting to which normal morality simply doesn’t apply, which can be dangerous even for the buffalo.” 

Unfortunately, Keira being the youngest and having her mom pass when she was about five years old means she doesn’t have as many vivid memories about her like Jacob does. But she does have a lot of memories of her brother Jacob, always being there for her especially after their mom passes, getting into random shenanigans together; and a lot of Quidditch related ones as well like watching his practices or games, accompanying their ‘adopted’ dad on jobs working with Quidditch players, making friends with other players. While it may be a memory about hanging with friends, Quidditch, or spending time with their ‘adopted’ parents Jacob is a constant presence in all her happiest memories. As she gets older I think some memories with her “Uncle Remus” would also be very meaningful to her and help her produce a patronus. And when they both get older I think the memory of winning the World Cup would be a great memory for both Jacob and Keira. 

Keira’s patronus is an arctic fox, although it could change as she grows up and has new experiences. (I was also under the impression that typically one’s animagus form was their patronus, or original one since a patronus can change?) “Cunning, stealth, persistence. The arctic fox is infinitely adaptable, living its life in one of the world’s most extreme climates. Arctic fox people tend to be sly, graceful, and have a near magic ability to make something out of nothing, utilizing even the most limited of resources. Arctic fox as a totem can teach us the ability to go with the flow of life, changing ourselves to suit our ever-evolving environments. They adapt to whatever comes their way. They are light on their feet, and very persistent. They are known to do the best with what they have and even in the hardest of times, they don’t give up. But they can also betray you in an instant. Most arctic fox people are known to be cunning even when they don’t mean it and they can lie and con their way out of everything. They do whatever it takes to survive, even if they have to do something they don’t agree with.But nevertheless they are great people to have around if you’re in a jam and need help with something.” 

*Spoiler* For the side quest I have yet to see, and therefore obviously do, I’m pretty sure her patronus is going to be some form of a cat because I don’t think a rabbit or horse suits her and her animagus is a cat - I’m not sure what the cat options are exactly but I’m pretty positive I’m choosing the cat option and then we’ll see what type of cat is for her. 

8. Would MC/Jacob use legilimency on anyone, anytime, or only when absolutely necessary? Does this change over time? Do they ever become as powerful as Snape/Dumbledore/Queenie (wandless and nonverbal)?

Why do I feel like my Jacob would legit forget about his legilimency ability and then randomly be reminded of it be like “Oh yeah!” =p 

I think for both Jacob and Keira they would resort to using legilimency only when necessary, however, I think Keira is more liberal about using it than Jacob but that could be because he forgets about it =p 

I believe at first Keira doesn’t want to use it at all when she first finds out at Hogwarts but I think the more difficult and dangerous the hunt for these Vaults and dealing with the Cabal is going to get she’s going to get some more practice with it and realize she needs to use it and it’s a beneficial and useful ability to have. Then when she becomes a Curse-Breaker and is dealing with dark wizards and witches and mercenaries she’ll find again that this ability proves to be very useful. And the more dangerous jobs she takes on the more she may rely on it and use it. Whereas for a professional Quidditch player legilimency isn’t really needed as much so… hence Jacob forgetting about it =p 

But neither of them would use it on anyone at any time unless they’re doing some fun party trick or something =p But they wouldn’t take advantage of it and misuse it or use it just because they’re bored or something. 

I am a big fan of nonverbal and wandless magic, personally =p So I think, even if they don’t plan on using it all the time both would work towards improving their skills so they could do it at least nonverbally. I think Keira would work harder to be able to do it nonverbally and wandlessly while Jacob would be find if he couldn’t do it nonverbally and wandless, hopefully at least one if possible, but he has to admit being able to do so without a wand and nonverbally would be cool and could prove useful sometimes (especially if the Cabal ever finds him or something because now he’s become paranoid about that) so he’d probably work on it but wouldn’t mind taking longer and be more lax about it than his sister. They’re bother hard working and determined people but his sister his more intense than him =p 

But Keira works hard to be able to cast any magic she can nonverbally and/or wandless so this wouldn’t be anything special compared to other spells and abilities. She wants to be a badass and feared opponent! 

9. Would MC/Jacob fight at the battle of Hogwarts or go into hiding/avoid the conflict? Would they survive?

Not only does Keira fight at the Battle of Hogwarts but she saves Remus, Tonks, and Fred (and Sirius beforehand) - FIGHT ME! 

I cannot allow them to die - CANNOT DO IT! Can’t save everyone BUT SHE WILL SAVE THEM EVEN IF SHE DIES DOING SO! 

Here’s what I’m thinking =p While visiting her beloved relative Tonks who is now a badass Auror, and getting a tour of the Ministry she maybe pockets a time-turner thinking ‘this is cool and can come in handy some time’ or she gets one from another country’s ministry or during her own adventures as a Curse-Breaker or doing some other jobs… (for another time =p) Point is, she’s getting her hands on some sort of time-turner because she thinks it could come in handy some time - right?! Who wouldn’t think that?

And then after what happens to Sirius in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries gives her a good reason to use it and she goes back to save him from getting killed by Bellatrix (after he punches Lucius of course because that moment is iconic =p) And then during the Battle of Hogwarts clearly she’s going to use it again to save Remus, Tonks, and Fred after they are found to have been killed during it. And she definitely goes through a whole reflection moment of all the ‘what ifs’ and consequences she may have to deal with if she does this - ‘Well what if it’s their time and doing this messes things up and someone else has to die to balance it out? Go back and try and save them too? But if it really is their time to go then me attempting to save them won’t make a difference and they’ll still die some other way because it’s just their time, right? And I have to accept that. But it really feels like it’s not their time….And if by saving them some dark wizard and witches end up living as well instead of dying we can just arrest them later or deal with that later because a couple of them living isn’t going to make that much of a difference (at least not to Keira) And highly doubt by saving them somehow that means Voldemort won’t be defeated, don’t see how that’s related…. And if I need to go back in time a few different times to get things right I will! And if I have to die in order to keep them alive and safe, fine.’ - there’s a whole lot she thinks about but ultimately she’s doing this. She’ll deal with the consequences as long as they are saved. 

But can she do it alone? Well guess it’s good she saved Sirius, right because he is probably the only one who knows about her time-turner and what she did to save him so they together go back in time to save Remus, Tonks, and Fred - you think Sirius is going to let Remus die?! Hahahaha no! 

Honestly, Remus is the driving force behind all of this. Keira loves Remus possibly more than anyone else and he deserves to be happy! He finally gets reunited with his best friend who was wrongfully imprisoned and has a bit of happiness back where he doesn’t feel so alone and is relieved that Sirius isn’t this horrible people everyone tried to make him out to be AND THEN HE DIES?! NOPE! (Plus Keira loves Sirius too and she doesn’t want him to die! He just got out of prison, again, after being wrongfully put in there, he doesn’t deserve to just die like that!) Remus finally finds someone who loves and accepts him beyond his Marauders who wants to marry him, they have a child, again he’s happy and not alone AND THEN THEY DIE AND LEAVE THEIR SON!? UMMMM NO! No no no no no, not happening. Remus is not going to die and leave her, Tonks isn’t going to die and leave him, and they’re going to be awesome, amazing parents and Remus deserves to have a happy life DAMNIT!

And then there’s Fred who has nothing really to do with Remus but… come on, she’s not going to be okay with Fred dying who’s like her own little brother - she had an instant connection to the Twins! And the Weasley family is one of the most warm, welcoming, caring family in the whole wizarding world AND twins being separated like this when they have such a close and special connection - No, she could not live with herself if she knew she could save Fred somehow and not do it. None of the Weasley’s deserve to lose Fred and he doesn’t deserve to die. If one has to die it can be Percy =p JUST KIDDING! 

Anyway, that’s my brief explanation of how Keira saves Sirius, Remus, Tonks, and Fred while also still sort of having it canon because they do die and then she just goes back in time and saves them =p Also I don’t care if it’s not canon because I refuse to accept their deaths and no one will ever make me and no one can make me feel bad about creating a way to save them. I know this wasn’t exactly the question so…

Yes, Keira and Jacob will fight in the Battle of Hogwarts. Both are fiercely protective of those close to them and have a strong sense of justice. And if Keira is going to fight to try and keep her friends and family safe then Jacob of course is going to be there to try and keep her safe! Plus they both like action and some danger. (Jacob is very much a typical Gryffindor in the sense that he’ll leap into action without really thinking about it or worrying about his safety and Keira… she sort of accepted her fate back when she was in Hogwarts that she wasn’t going to live to see graduation and then when she did every day after that is like a bonus day she didn’t think she’d get so she’s like ‘I already lived longer than I thought I would’ so she can be reckless. Plus they love being in the action and the thrill of battle! They like the adrenaline rush and may have too much fun with it =p Why she’s a Curse-Breaker and takes on other dangerous jobs and he plays Quidditch)

I feel like Keira would be there from the beginning while Jacob would show up later, sort of like Charlie, liking to make a dramatic entrance like taking out some dark wizard before they attacked his sister who would be like “so nice of you to show up!” (they’re Black’s, they like to make dramatic entrances and exits, okay?!)

10. What happened to Olivia Green? Is she an evil agent of R or as she wrongfully manipulated like Jacob?

What did happen to Olivia Green!?!? Isn’t that the question of the century….

So I am Year 5 Ch 14 I think, so I don’t know if there’s been any more information on Olivia Green than the little we know which is she worked with Duncan and Jacob on these Vaults and was a Gryffindor… right? Well if there is more please let me know because that’s pretty much all I know. But I will say, and I don’t know what it is, but learning about Olivia Green made me instantly suspicious and feel like she’s the evil one behind all of this despite having no evidence of that! 

Either, I feel, she’s sort of like the Peter Pettigrew of this story and betrayed Jacob and Duncan (or would have if he hadn’t died) to gain power and position in the Cabal and/or whatever is in the last Vault or she would have/tried to but the Cabal ultimately still chose Jacob over her and now she’s seeking revenge on his little sibling and using them to get to the last Vault before the Cabal to sort of show them they chose the wrong person (like I’ve said, I like the idea for my Jacob to have joined the Cabal as a sort of undercover mission), or she is a hermit somewhere living traumatized by everything they endured with the Vaults. (Idk why I like this idea of MC finding out she’s alive and living in some little cottage in the outskirts of Hogsmeade or something and they go to visit her and when they mention the Vaults it causes her to go off on MC and warn them to stay away and just triggers her, bringing her back to all this trauma she faced when she and Jacob and Duncan looked for the Vaults). But as fun as that idea is I for some reason instantly got an evil vibe from the mere mention of Olivia. Maybe I’m just looking for another candidate for R who isn’t Rakepick or Rowan? It’s freaking Peter isn’t it?! (If it’s Peter you all owe me $5 because I’ve been saying this! =p)

Anyways, I know nothing about Olivia but for some reason I don’t think she’s easily manipulated - maybe because I feel like my own MC is better at manipulating than being manipulated and I’m here for to smart, powerful witches to go at it, like two mini Rakepick’s or something =p And even if R is some male leader of the Cabal (is this considered a spoiler based on some things I’ve heard of/seen?…) and she could be some right hand like Bellatrix Lestrange - I’m sorry, but we all know Bellatrix Lestrange is way scarier and more powerful than Voldemort, at least I believe so and she’s the real one that should be feared than no nose. So I think even if Olivia is this sort of Bellatrix Lestrange she’s going to be more powerful and scarier to deal with. She’s probably just using the Cabal to get what she wants! Again, I probably just want some badass woman villain who is not Rakepick so I’m making Olivia that. Maybe I’m also over the kids vs adult thing too and while Olivia is older than MC they’re both still relatively young and it’s not like MC would be fighting against someone 15+ years older than them. But again she could be some traumatized hermit living in the woods! 

Maybe she is R and like Voldemort rearranged the letters in her name to give her a new one that starts with R (from Green)? Maybe she’s the reason Jacob and Duncan got involved with the Vaults in the first place and she’s the puppet master pulling all the strings here! Or maybe she’s a traumatized hermit in the woods who is devastated and heartbroken over the loss of her two best friends, maybe more than friends, who died and joined the Cabal or went missing or whatever… But I’d prefer Olivia to be the evil R or at least evil than Rowan because I am not here for a betrayal of a close friend - Please don’t make Rowan the Peter! I’ll be so disappointed (but not surprised because it’s a common trope, right? But still disappointed… Honestly, if any friend was to betray MC I still think Tulip is the most likely candidate.)

So I’m open to either of those options but I’m clearly hoping for a badass woman villain and an epic showdown between her and MC personally… Whether she’s a Peter, Bellatrix, or Voldemort type or a mix. I can easily see the puppet master behind all of this being a smart, manipulative woman using others and playing them to get what she wants and then easily getting rid of them once they’ve played their role and she no longer has a use for them. Give me a cold-hearted badass villain please! =p

Ooooo maybe she’s acting like some poor, traumatized, heartbroken witch in the woods but it’s all an act and she’s just trying to manipulate MC some more! Give me a reveal from her homely, tattered shawl she flings off to some cool, black armour or something! I SHOULD BE WRITING THIS STORY =P 

But please, I would love to hear other’s opinions on Olivia and what happened to her, what she’s doing now possibly, etc. and if you have any opinions on what I want to happen with her because this is something that I’ve been very curious about because so far for me (since again I’m behind most people!) she was mentioned once briefly and then never again and we go around asking about Duncan but not her and like - what is up with this bitch?!

26. How does MC’s hairstyle change as they get older?

I feel like my MC went in the opposite direction of other’s MC’s I’ve seen since those I’ve seen start off with short hair and grow theirs out but mine started with longer hair and cut hers shorter. Not that she cuts it very short but it starts out long to her shoulder blades and then by Year 5 it’s cut up to her shoulders. She likes to have her hair long enough to pull back into a ponytail or bun. I also think when she was younger she straightened her hair and was frustrated by it’s natural wave but as she grows older embraces the waviness of her hair (maybe it’s embracing her House of Black side and realizing we have awesome hair! =p) And that’s pretty much where she normally keeps her hair throughout her life, either to the tops of her shoulders or to her shoulder blades, maybe sometimes a bit longer even but nothing too drastic in terms of hair style/cut - she’s a Black and has to show off their awesome hair =p Also there are more important things going on than her hair style and she’s blessed with nice hair so she fortunately doesn’t have to worry much about it (Bill is probably super jealous =p)

Like I said she likes to be able to pull it up into a ponytail or bun (most likely a messy one) to get it out of her face, especially for Quidditch, but she doesn’t really know how to do hair (possibly because her mom died when she was so young) - she’s lucky she managed to put it up in a ponytail or bun! So whenever Penny or one of her friends offers to do her hair she gets a little excited because she has no idea how to do it =p She’s not a fan of pigtails at all. Fortunately with her House of Black genes she can wake up and have her hair already looking perfect or have that “messy-chic” style so she can be relatively low maintenance with it. Quite literally she woke up like this. =p  (Let me know if you all want to hear this dumb little idea I had about Sirius and James involving their hair =p)

It’s seriously like, boom, ready for the day =p

(This is more what I see her hair being, particularly the length, post-hogwarts and also for this current Year 5, it may grow out for Year 6 I’m not sure yet, and she still may grow it out to the above lengths as well throughout her life but these are pretty much her consistent lengths; honestly this is a very good reference for her hair, wavy, a little messy but still looks good - rolled out of bed looking like this - dark with a red tint [guess hers is more shades of brown but you get it], and I love this length - oh no now I’m thinking about cutting my hair - [although like I mentioned it fluctuates from this length to the above, longer ones]) 

(And this is a good reference for her hair when it’s longer - I had another gif but I can’t find it now so these will have to do but you get it. It’s Megan Fox hair, she’s essentially Megan Fox =p )

(And an obligatory biker moment =p)

[dclohv-blog]

howdy everyone, i’m lara (like the croft) and this is my gutter dumpster boy ANTONIN! he’s horrible, but i’m going to try not to be; i’m 23, use she/her pronouns, and live in the central time zone. college and my job keep me up into all hours, so i’m always around to make life interesting. under the cut, you’ll find my application (which is so long and doing way too much, so bless u if u make it all the way through), in addition to which i’m also trying to whip up a good full biography page, though my proclivity for procrastination probably isn’t going to make that an easy task. please come give me all the plots, and come yell at/with me, because i’m super excited and up for anything and everything !!

* △ — the dark lord has targeted [ ANTONIN DOLOHOV ] !  the muggles say he / she / they hold(s) resemblance to [ GASPARD ULLIEL ]. the [ TWENTY NINE ] year old [ MALE ] was [ MAGNETIC & PASSIONATE ] before the war, but have now become [ CONTROLLING & VIOLENT ]. though they were once a part of [ SLYTHERIN ], they have now taken up the position of a / an / the [ RUSSIAN LIASON TO THE DEPARTMENT OF INTERNATIONAL MAGICAL COOPERATION ]. whispers throughout the ministry claim that the [ PUREBLOOD ] is actually [ A DEATH EATER ], but i wouldn’t report that to the daily prophet.

HEADCANONS

1) patronus — Snow bursts     from beneath the feet of his steed, plumes, waves like a powdered sea,     settling into his hair, dampening his shoulders; a strange cacophony of     sensations this is, to be flanked by friends, to sit astride a steed known     from birth, to chase after a family of deer with such plebian fervor – but     to do so while wielding such magnificent power. Wand rolls between gloved     fingers, cutting down branches and bursting birds into plumes of smoke and     feather as he passes, the master, the pointed lead of the deadly formation.     All it is, is fun – they give no thought to slaughtering deer, to gutting     them and leaving them to bleed upon the snow simply for their amusement;     Antonin cannot help but wonder if his horse has some sort of moral     objection to chasing such a close cousin to its death – but the thought     only makes him laugh. Long before he killed the poor boy whose last sight     would be the walls of Durmstrang, he finds his release in the bloodshed of     animals. After all, they cannot really     fight back, can they? Perhaps the mountain lion can, the bear, the     cougar whose skin now serves as a rug in his mother’s boudoir, but never     the deer. And there is something almost erotic about complete and total     domination. Surely his comrades smell his power, even now – they’ve seen     it before, and they’ll see it now, even if the prey has neither the power     nor the foresight to fight back. But this is joy in its essence – a band     of brothers, warriors, like-minded personifications of violence itself who     kill not for the pride, the purpose, the profit, but for the thrill of     watching blood spill over an untouched bank of snow. Antonin throws a wild     grin, a haphazard glance, over his shoulder to one of his comrades, who     thrusts his wand in the air. He looks to the other, who does the same. He     looks forth, wand thrust forward and battle cry, a flurry of     indiscriminate curses slipping from chapped lips, and urges his horse     forward.

  The first deer falls with a whip-crack and a plume of red light, and -

   From his wand, in the hallowed halls of Hogwarts, amidst a classroom full of onlookers, bursts a Snow Leopard, snarling, slinking about the circle until it comes to curl     about Antonin’s legs, broad nose prodding at his calf. With cyanide lips     curled upward, he looks down upon his creation and knows – this is his soul.

   In common lore, the Snow Leopard symbolizes Intuition, Solitude, Secrets,  Allure, Sexual Prowess, and PURITY. A solitary animal, it watches, observes, and collects information, striking only when beneficial. It cares well for its own, and is often associated     in legend and lore with self-discovery through excruciating trial. It is only appropriate, then, that Antonin produce such a manifestation of his own soul, for his own trial by fire (or ice) is ever burning.

2) amortentia —  “But the real question – does your Amortentia smell of me?” The subtlest hints of     Antonin’s amortentia change quite regularly, but the base is always the     same. Pine, sometimes fresh, sometimes crackling at the base of a dying     fire; red wine, surely just fresh poured; roses, but only just – perhaps     no more than a few petals upon a bare collar; the salt of the sea, quite     like the Baltic coast, for its smell is different than any other stretch     of ocean he’s come upon; the distinct smell of sex –sweat, musk, the faintest floral of a familiar perfume.     Amortentia is not something that Antonin likes to dwell on – love is a strange thing, ever changing; he     would much rather fuck than     love. But he cannot help but be torn in a thousand directions upon     catching a whiff of his perfectly brewed Amortentia – home, the woods     surrounding the small (“small”)     manor to the north used as a vacation home, the sea… and familiar beds, familiar whiffs from upon familiar     locks. Familiar perfumes and colognes upon sheets – the familiarity of a     head of raven hair and a pair of strong hands. It always changes – but love remains ever constant.     Constant – and unwanted.

3) boggart — “I fear     nothing. Why would I? It is I who     should be feared.” Antonin would rather die than admit any sort of weakness – and fear is just that: weakness.    And perhaps that is indicative enough of his truest fears, that he     cannot admit weakness, that he cannot admit fear, or humanity if he possesses any at all. Failure, in truth, is his greatest fear – rejection,     incompetence, impotence; he got a taste of it in the form of doubt, doubt     and the knowledge that his omnipotent darkness, that his overreaching     power has its limits. Fear that even he     is mortal, that even he can     fall to error. Antonin does not fear death; to fear death would be to fear     the skin into which he was born. But he does fear failure, as cliché as it sounds. Failure would     mean disappointment; failure would mean letting a legacy fall to ash and     ruin; failure would see a hall of proud portraits, proud men, proud names     to uphold, smolder, burn, and fall to irrelevance, disrepair, and shame. His boggart sees this, of     course; where Antonin assumed that he would face a boggart and see it shrug, it grows, expands to a     hundred times its size. It is a wonder that it fits in the room in which     it’s contained, upon facing Antonin, for where a nondescript shape once     stood, a burning manor now stands. A raven-haired woman (“Mama?”) falls into the ash,     clutching at diamonds with one hand and what remains of a picture frame     with the other. A hunched figure stands over her, a man, a familiar back     which has never shut him out until now. He calls out to them – to his     mother once, twice, thrice, then his father (but only once) – but they do     not turn, for they do not hear him.     Perhaps they choose not to – or perhaps they simply cannot fathom any     sound but the burning of their house, the dismantling of their great     legacy. And all because of him.

4) wand —     ELM; What is truly ironic about this     wand wood, in particular, is its reputation for never making mistakes.     When Antonin drew his first blood, committed his firstmurder, his mother, for a time, did     her very best to pass it off as a mistake, a misfire, a malfunction of the     trusty wand which was made to be     precise at all times. ‘Elm wands     never make mistakes’, Gregorovitch had said. Elm wands never make     mistakes – and they certainly never lie,     either. Antonin, of course, stood by his wand, and his choices, and     his actions which disproved his mother’s claims; there was no use lying     about something as honest as his wand, after all. And why would he lie?Shame is an unfamiliar sensation.     Elm is a particularly fitting wand for Antonin, in addition, because it     notoriously prefers wielders with innate purpose and dignity; an elegant     wand for an elegant purity, and highly capable of all that Antonin will     doubtlessly ask of it.

5) LITTLE BLACK BOOK; I know it’s cliché, and I know that it makes Antonin seem a bit too much like Joey Tribbiani for comfort, but he actually has a little black book of past conquests. A small leather booklet, he keeps it in a slide-away panel within the trunk at the end of his bed. It is a rather sordid little thing, with comments, notes, likes, dislikes, sweet spots all listed upon crisp pages. He writes in his thick book of consumed hearts with only the finest ink, and treats its maintaining like ritual. It grows more often than it remains stagnant, and has seen many a night alone in the common room, pages flipping near dangerously dripping candle wax, spine pressed open while ink dries; Antonin is a studious lover, and should he ever return to a past conquest, to a page in his book, he will know them like a well-memorized song. No one knows of this little black book, for he does not flaunt it, nor does he wish to share its contents with anyone. At times, he makes vague, suggestive, allusions to it, calling it his box of hearts, but those who listen simply assume that he is simply talking into the darkness to satisfy his own ego – little do they know, he has more than just intent.

6) MOTHER KNOWS BEST; Antonin is, for lack of a better phrase, a giant mama’s boy. His mother is his entire world; from the very beginning, he was more devoted to his mother than to anyone else. He’d pick her flowers from the garden (“From my garden, Ant? Those were mine to grow.”), follow her about during her rare afternoons spent painting in the solarium, and generally worship at her feet. Of course he loves his father unabashedly, but the love he feels for him is something more akin to fear for comfort. He feels a great deal of pressure in his father’s presence, but in his mother’s he feels nothing but warmth and encouragement. She was never a traditional mother, hardly giving him the outward affection so many other boys received, but even the slightest pat of approval atop his boyish head was reassurance enough. He would kill and be killed for his mother – she gave him life, and he would gladly give or take it at her command. He will build a legacy, an empire, and will build a castle at the heart of it all for his dear Mama.

7) WHEN THE ANIMALS SMELL A PREDATOR…; There was very little like time spent in the stables, amongst the horses, in the quiet of early dawn before the birds awake and the snow outside is greatly disturbed. Antonin is an accomplished equestrian, and knows a great deal about the care of horses and the technique associated with all equine areas of interest. He is quite fond of the steeplechase, and of hunting from horseback, but there is merit to a simple ride through the woods to clear one’s head; the horses are unjudging company who expect nothing of you, they are easily controlled for the most part, and they make Antonin feel innately powerful simply by being. Sitting astride a horse is elevating in more ways than one – but what is most notable, perhaps, is the way that, for the slightest moment, as Antonin pushes open the barn doors in a flurry of powder and cool air, the horses go silent. Horses are notoriously noisy, demanding creatures – but for just a moment, in a space no longer than a breath, a blink, a beat of the heart, they are entirely still, with big brown eyes upon him, watching, waiting. But then the noise resumes, for they know that this predator is on their side.

8) GOD HATES WITCHES; A small incident in the life of a magnate, an iron prince, a legacy in flesh, but a small one – on regular family trips to Moscow, he disappears for an hour at a time; his parents worry not for his whereabouts, for they know that he is more than capable of wielding the streets of Moscow on a tight leash. Upon the steps of the Cathedral of Christ the Savior he sits, black jacket billowing in formidable breeze, a cigarette between his lips and a smirk playing at their corners. It is a personal joke he shares with only himself; he once heard, as a boy, a man preaching on the steps of this very cathedral that all wielders of magic and might, anything contrary to the man’s God was an abomination, that should they step foot inside the cathedral, they would burn on the spot. And so he sits on the steps, tempting fate, tempting expectation, teasing the myth that so many muggles seem to believe so fervently. Of course he believes it not – but the symbolism, the irony, and the chance to smoke in the face of a deity is too much to pass up.

9) OF OLD KINGS AND DEAD REGIMES; Antonin’s favorite subject to study is history – history of magic, and certain facets of European muggle history, specifically. He has a collection of old history books hidden away beneath his bed, sorted into meticulous categorical piles; needless to say, he’s read through the lot of them time and time again, for they never cease to amaze and fascinate. Antonin has a particular proclivity for cruel kings and long-standing empires with bloody histories; his own family history is one that he knows like the back of his hand, their legacy of domination, terror, and omnipotence being something to behold and something not easily forgotten or passed over in the annals of magical history. He excels in History of Magic, though he, during his studies, was not the sort to openly speak out in class; his knowledge, no matter how insatiable and overreaching, is one best kept silent. His aloofness is only magnified by time spent alone in the library, reading by candlelight in his usual armchair, with quill between his teeth, and notebook and historical tomes spread on the table before him. He could list every king of every notable dynasty from the beginning of time – and he takes pride in the knowledge that his name will share a page with the lot of them soon enough.

10) NAME ANALYSIS:

ANTONIN: “beyond praise, priceless”; A fitting name for a boy of such high caliber. His ego and his expectation linger just above the clouds; Antonin was born to be great, to be praised, to dominate. He is priceless, he is without compare; his mother and father were fully aware of the connotations of their heir’s name, and he has certainly lived up to it thus far. Of course, he intends to go above and beyond the expectations laden upon his name, for he is beyond praise,and he is beyond compare.

SVIATOSLAV: “he who worships the light”; Antonin’s middle name is such for Czar Sviatoslav I of Kiev, who was known largely for his merciless and effective conquest of two of the greatest and most potent powers of Eastern Europe. He was known for his insistence upon being surrounded by nobles, and like, war-minded, individuals for the entirety of his adult life, and for his ceaseless determination to dominate in all fields. He was considered a decent ruler; very little is known about his personal life, as he was private in most things aside from his political campaigns, but persists in history as a key expander of the empire as a whole. Antonin, needless to say, is quite proud to flaunt such an accomplished name.

DOLOHOV: “of the Dolohov dynasty”; The Dolohov name is one that does not need explaining. The Dolohov name is one implicitly known, one feared and loved and revered – and rightfully so. The strength of the bloodline is paramount; the potency of the Dolohov name, the family tree and its ever-reaching roots, the legend riding upon the back of each patriarchal male born under such a name, is all that truly matters. Family and honor above self; pride and respect above personal ambition. The name comes first – the heart is secondary.

AESTHETIC

The sound of leather shoes on freshly waxed marble, chipped china shoved to the back of a dark cabinet, too-strong cologne, popped buttons on a crisp white shirt, velvet tassels with golden chain, bruises hastily covered with mother’s white powder, snow stuck to the bottom of a thick fur coat, the click of a lock overshadowed by a loud scream, hickeys in provocative places that never seem to fade, whiskey and honey in a silver flask, hidden tattoos in different languages, sitting still and stiff for a family portrait, blood splattered across snow, the groaning hull of a salty old ship, soft words reserved only for mother, history books in stacks upon old leather armchairs, halls and halls of portraits that never smile, the rush of adrenaline after giving a hard punch, a cigarette tipped between pouting lips, commanding fingers wrapped about a lily-white throat, the smell of sex on black silk, wine dribbling down a split lip. You are an old king in a new body, and you will devour their gods to make room for your own. You are loyal to your blood as it spills, infects, sublimes.

EXTRAS: 

- basically, he went to Durmstrang first, but was expelled because he got involved in some shady business that ended up getting a bunch of people hurt - but does he care?? noooo

- he’s a total playboy, and a charmer that’s more snake than charm; he’s loyal to voldemort, but his own interests always come first. he’s the ‘spoiled prince from russia’ who likes to have the violent kind of fun, and thinks that the sun shines out of his butt, basically 

- has an enormous Machiavelli complex. It makes him doubt if he should be a follower or not; and it makes him wonder if love is a waste of time, and if fear should replace it all

- he’s just !!!!!!!!! A DOUCHE !!!!!!!!!! but he’s fun and good in the sack so ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- he’s also v bisexual (”my sexual preference is often”) and likes to drink people under the table. 

- currently working at the ministry, but mostly in an honorary position since the russian ministry really wants like... nothing to do with anything to do with anyone else. but he feels very uppity about being a ‘liaison’, for what it’s worth

- antonin dolohov is what happens when joey tribbiani goes to the upside down, thanks for coming to my ted talk 

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Paige you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Augustus Rookwood.

↳ please refer to our character checklist

Welcome back Paige! To hear from you was such a pleasant surprise and to have you back is even better! We never know what Augustus is going to do and that’s what makes him so great! He’s complex and interesting and we’re ready to have him back on the dash!

application beneath the cut 

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Paige, 25, she/her, EST. I’m from Tennessee in the United States!

ACTIVITY

I’m currently having to share a laptop with my mom, and Chronic Fatigue keeps me pretty dead for most of the day, but I plan to get online at least once daily to reply to anything I owe. So 5/10 maybe? I mean, I’m ALWAYS available via chat though, to plot or just talk.

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

Originally, Alexis, your former (original?) Rabastan. Then I was here for months, left, returned for a year, left, and I’m baaaaaaaaack! Lol You know I can’t stay away from my trash son.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

In the past, I said Hermione without hesitation. I was always the one who felt a bit left out when new to a school, the one who lived to make teachers happy, and was a little too weird to make friends on my own without an intervening force. However, now I would say Minerva. In my friend group, I tend to be “mom”. I use logic and my mediating skills to make sure everyone stays out of too much trouble, work on guiding them through tough situations, and I always offer snacks when someone is upset. Also, cats are my life, and if I could become one, I would. Though even with the benefit of magic, the process would be incredibly complicated and I’m super lazy.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Nope!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Augustus Rookwood.

Middle name: Xavier.

Name’s full meaning: Majestic, splendid, bird/forest

FACE CLAIM

Daniel Sharman

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

What I put in my first apps: I’ve always been drawn to the darker characters. Especially the ones who appear very controlled when in the public eye, and then “let loose” when they’re behind closed doors. Then there was mention of his family basically putting him on a pedestal. I’ve always loved (and had a muse for) characters that have a little too much responsibility put on their shoulders by their parents, and then begin to crack under the pressure in highly destructive ways.

Augustus seems like the type of person who originally started out trying to be the best son he could be. Who nodded and smiled at his parents’ plans for his future, worked his hardest in school, and then one day realized there was someone out there (The Dark Lord) to whom he could devote himself, and not have to be so perfect and “good”.

Which is why he will last in this war. No one suspects the “good little quiet boy” who kept his nose in his books, and his potentially deadly spells to himself. Not even the Dark Lord wanted him at first. Not until Augustus showed him exactly what he was capable of, behind a locked door, when everyone else was out trying to make as much noise for their cause as possible.

Now that he has an excuse to use the dark skills he’s kept to himself for years, Augustus kills when asked to and tortures just for the fun of it. However, he draws the line at children, and will convince another member of the group to kill/torture them when sent to “take care of” an entire family. He can’t exactly explain why he’s protective of children, or why that mindset changes as soon as they’ve reached an age when they can defend themselves. Perhaps it’s just too easy, and he likes a challenge.

Now that I’ve actually played him: He evolved over time and his ability to suppress his emotions slipped drastically depending on who he was with. There were far more bad influences than good ones, and soon, a few too many people knew his secrets and he was caught. Since then, he has retreated back into himself as much, if not more than before, and mainly focuses on his job and making the Dark Lord proud. And God, he feels like screaming every minute of every day. As the climax of the war draws nearer, situations become more and more tense. The whispers behind his back make his skin crawl, and although he knows he will be protected if he lashes out, he swallows his curses like acid. He was betrayed once, and won’t let it happen again.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Preferred ships? Augustus/everyone, to be honest. Augustus will have sex with anyone. Long time friends, people he wants to manipulate, strangers, whatever. Sex isn’t tied to emotion for him. It is purely the pursuit of pleasure. Hell, he would probably have sex with the Dark Lord without even being commanded to do so. Because yolo? But romance is an entirely different animal. It requires trust and emotional connection and way too much of oneself. Therefore, Augustus has only felt such a connection once, and he’s not sure he wants to repeat it. However, he could easily be in a relationship or marriage with someone out of convenience or friendship. Though no monogamy or cute stuff unless pretending for the public. He thinks it would be selfish to tie someone down like that if he can’t offer them what they need emotionally.

Overall, Augustus identifies as an aromantic pansexual (though those labels aren’t exactly a thing in the 70s/80s), as a cis male (he/him/his). There has been some gender experimentation with polyjuice potion, but that was purely for fun.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

Patronus: Lynx. (Lore states that the secretive lynx represents controlled power, individualism, and sharp-sightedness. Lynx people are generally exceedingly observant, quiet, intelligent, and curious. Though their independent nature can strike some as aloof, they are often excellent guides and steadfast friends.) Boggart: Someone outing him for what he’s done. Such as, a member of the Wizengamot reading a list of his crimes. Wand: Hazel (Wandlore states that “A sensitive wand, hazel often reflects its owner’s emotional state, and works best for a master who understands and can manage their own feelings.”), 10 inches, Dragon heartstring core, Unyielding.

Blog: http://avgvstvs.tumblr.com

LINK TO VISUAL AESTHETIC

Brief playlist: “Choke” - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me, “Strangers” - Halsey (ft. Lauren Jauregui), “Run” - AWOLNATION, “The Last One” - Black Veil Brides

Aesthetic: On one hand, he’s a smoking gun, hands dripping with blood, wet leather after a surprise storm, teeth on pale skin, the way a bottle of alcohol holds the scent when empty, skin rubbed against a rough brick wall, and sins in hallowed places. But then he’s also the smell of old books, chalk covered hands from solving impossible problems, secrets whispered to empty rooms, lies screamed into crowded places, nails digging into palms, tantrums behind locked doors, cold chains, hot coffee, lightning and hurricanes. But then as an Unspeakable, there’s all this mystery surrounding his job, and the strict rules he must follow.  So order and perfection. But as a Death Eater, there’s all this chaos and mess. Augustus in school was far different. Sweaters with sleeves a little too long, glasses to read that kept slipping off, smudged parchment, top marks hidden from fellow students, praise from teachers sounding too much like the praise from his parents, the death of a sibling and the expectation to immediately get over it, sitting in windows and watching the world move too fast. Everything was perfectly imperfect, and he did everything he could to grasp and absorb the chaos around him, and hold it tight.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

The following section should be looked at like a survey for your character. Answer them in character and feel free to use gifs. Or, if you’d rather, answer them in third person or OOC without gifs. Answers do not have to be extremely lengthy.

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it: “I would not invent my own. I would simply rework the pre-existing Obliviate and make it much more permanent and impossible to reverse. The incantation would be obliviscaris in perpetuum (forget forever) and it would be invaluable for those who wish to use it on victims, or for those who have something traumatic or highly sensitive in their past that they’d rather forget..”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you: “I would choose to take the Dark Lord with me, obviously, despite him never being one to follow someone else. His powers surpass anything the forest could throw at us. Also, I would bring a time-turner with me, due to its ability to help me return to any moment before I run into trouble, and allow me to take a different path.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make? “Those that require me to go against my deceitful nature and be completely honest with people. Like, a decision that if I am being truthful, would end my carefully constructed public image.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you? “I would never want someone accusing me of something, whether I did the deed or not. How I spend my time is an entirely private matter, and I would rather not have others prying into my life, no matter what they believe I have done.”

REACTION TO LAST EVENT DROP

While Augustus is glad that the Ministry is fully within the clutches of the Dark Lord’s side, he disagrees with the eradication of non-purebloods. He has never been a blood purest due to his childhood as an outcast and the discovery that those with colorful family trees tend to be the kindest. And after his time spent in America surrounded by Muggles, Augustus doesn’t really give a shit who your parents are. He plans to do almost everything he can to avoid a total genocide. Sure, murder and mayhem are fun, but one must draw a line at the slaughter of friends. Perhaps. While he has no plans to actively work against his fellow Death Eaters, he will not turn down direct orders. And for now, his orders are to stay focused on his work in the Department Of Mysteries. He has a plan for The Dark Lord that only someone who works in the Love Chamber can properly research.

WRITING SAMPLE

Augustus hadn’t been in this to make friends. Since childhood he’d fully accepted that he was born to be a loner. Besides, everyone else just got in his way. But as he sat, with cold metal chains wrapped around his wrists and ankles, clinking every time he tried (and failed) to find a more comfortable position, he felt truly and utterly alone. For the first time in his life, he began wishing there was someone by his side. Anyone, really. Just another warm body to deflect some of the angry, betrayed looks coming from the seats in which sat the Wizengamot and others. At that point, he would have even accepted a few of his least favorite acquaintances.

Unfortunately, everyone he knew was either dead, in Azkaban, or in the audience, watching with bated breath. This trial was one that had brought out spectators from every department of the Ministry. NO ONE had suspected the quiet wizard who went directly to and from the Department Of Mysteries every day, never making enemies or even standing out very much. He’d played his role perfectly. Even now, he kept his true self behind a facade, acting the part of the wrongly accused. Because he truly intended to leave the trial a free man. What good was the word of Karkaroff against his? The headmaster of a foreign school known to breed dark wizards, against a ‘friend’ of many at the Ministry? He’d spent countless hours cultivating false relationships with these people, earning their trust, and then gathering secrets. And until his name was spat by Karkaroff, it hadn’t so much as flashed through people’s minds. Not since he was pardoned all those years ago after his interrogation at the hands of Aversio.

The questions were easily answered with lies, and he even asked some of his own. “Where were you on the night of (…)?” “Where was I? Where were your Aurors? How could you let this happen?” “Who else answers to He Who Must Not Be Named?” “Clearly you’re bringing anyone in these days. If I pointed at any of you, would you put them on trial too?” Until the lies weren’t enough to get him released, and a vial of Veritaserum was brought out.

Rookwood started to sweat in that moment. His breath became ragged and his hands began to violently shake. If he was being honest with himself, he would have realized that it was sheer terror he was experiencing. As the potion was carried across the room and uncorked, he’d half expected someone to burst into the room and save him. The other part of him knew his entire life was about to change for the worse. Even as the liquid was forced into his mouth, possible scenarios of escape danced through his mind. If only the chains were slightly loose. Maybe one of his fellow Death Eaters sat amongst the crowd. Yaxley? Cassius? Dolores? Perhaps someone would have a sudden change of heart and remember how impossible it seemed for him to be a part of this. But alas, the chains were magic, all of his comrades had already been captured or killed, and after the trial of Barty Crouch Jr., no one trusted even the least suspicious person.

And then words were spilling past his lips, almost too fast, with the sting of Veritaserum still on his tongue. When asked about his dealings with the Death Eaters, he held nothing back, despite the deep ache within his very soul that got stronger with each new thing he revealed. Both the Wizengamot and the audience gasped as he told details of the lives he’d destroyed. How he’d stalked several entire families before torturing and killing them. The bodies he’d left in alleyways. The memories he’d stolen from those he’d left bloody and beaten. The way it made him feel when people begged. He told them it was an almost sexual satisfaction, and the Veritaserum-induced smirk that went along with his words must have been the final nail in his coffin, because the trial ended swiftly after that.

Augustus was forced to watch as his beloved wand was snapped in half in front of him, and he was immediately taken to a cold, damp room where an elderly wizard stripped him of his fine, embroidered robes and a pair of striped, dirty ones were shoved into his hands. He would be taking a portkey to Azkaban directly from that room, without a chance to say goodbye to anyone. Not that he cared very much for anyone in his life, especially those not currently residing in the prison he was destined for, but it was all very sudden. Like a flower being plucked from a vast garden and shoved into a dusty old vase, just waiting to die.

And in this little vase of his, he was alone.

[letsprayitwritesitself]

harry potter au part 3! patronuses and happiness

Moonlight glistened off the surface of the lake and a cool breeze caressed them where they sat watching it. Davey was nestled between Jack’s legs, leaning back against his chest, gripping a blanket so it was snug round them. Jack was resting his chin on Davey’s head, free hand stroking his arm, breathing in sync with him. Their patronuses frolicked ahead of them, lighting them up in white, Davey’s lioness affectionately headbutting Jack’s horse, which nuzzled it in return. 

This was one of the better things to come out of the whole sense-of-impending-doom. Having learned how to conjure patronuses in the DA meetings was something to be really proud of, despite what they were meant to be up against. Davey was incredibly fond of his, had been from the moment the silver wisps started to form into something real. It was like a companion, one that he had to summon his most buoyant happiness to conjure, and it stood for something pretty exceptional. It was a beautiful manifestation of a whole generation of kids standing up for themselves, proving their worth, and he could get addicted to how protected it made him feel. 

His had come a lot easier than Jack’s. Jack said it was because he had more happy memories to choose from, but Davey thought that you just needed one really good one. Davey had succeeded first when he thought back to standing on the platform at Kings Cross ready to start his third year. How his mother had squeezed him in a hug and whispered we are so proud of you. How that had just struck him dumb, that she’d managed to acknowledge the whole reason he tried so hard at school, just so he could feel like he was doing his parents proud. The happiness had swelled inside him in an alien way that he had always remembered.

They’d had long talks about it, when Harry had introduced the topic of patronuses to the DA meetings. They’d spent evenings telling each other the high points of their lives, confessing which moments they’d tried to use but that hadn’t quite worked, like Davey remembering when Les was born, but knowing that as a six year old his love for his new baby brother had been tinged with unfortunate jealousy. Jack had thought that he might be able to use the day his letter came, because he’d been so overjoyed that all the weird accidents he’d caused, the ones that had forced him to move from foster home to foster home, actually meant something positive rather than that he was an irredeemable fuck-up. This memory had almost worked, letting out a modest silvery stream.

One night they had been the last to leave practise, dawdling as the other kids headed back to their rooms. It was hard, being in different houses, because it meant that the bulk of the time they got to spend together had to be in public. This was great, fine, it made for fun afternoons out on the grass with their friends, surreptitious hand holding and note passing in the library, loaded eye contact across the great hall, but sometimes (a lot of the time... most of the time...) they just wanted to be alone. So this quiet February evening they waited until everyone had cleared out of the room of requirement. Davey was talking to Harry by the door, thanking him for his time, and Jack sat on the desk by the window, staring at the translucent glass. When Harry left, and the two were alone, Davey wandered over, footsteps echoing in the vast silence of the room. Jack didn’t acknowledge him.

‘What are you thinking about?’

It looked like Jack was focusing hard on something. His brow was furrowed. He sighed.

‘It’s kind of fucked up that I can’t think of one happy memory.’

‘Jack...’ When Jack had visited Davey over the summer he had let Davey hear where he had come from, what he’d been through, whispered into the humid darkness they’d shared hidden under Davey’s sheets. How his experiences had formed who he was and how he fought every day not to be a victim, because even so he knew how much he had compared to other kids. He tried hard not to let it affect him but on days like this, where his past manifested as an obstacle to him learning an important defence spell, it was difficult not to get upset by it.

‘I mean. I have happy memories. Obviously.’ He finally looked at Davey. ‘I just. I thought I’d come out of the other end of all that.’

‘I know. But we have so much happiness ahead of us, right?’

‘Yeah, but.’ Jack pulled a face and let out a whine. ‘I want it now!’ Davey smiled and took one more step so he was standing right in front of Jack. He rested his hands on Jack’s knees. Maybe now was the right time to get this thing off his chest.

‘I believe in you. What you’ve already done is still pretty amazing, and the rest is going to come soon, I know it.’ He took a deep breath in. ‘And I love you, by the way.’

Jack seemed to seize up. His hands, which had been idly playing with Davey’s tie, stilled. His breath caught. Before too long he would confess to Davey that he’d never actually had someone look him in the face and say those words, which is why he acted like such a dork when it happened. He stared at Davey, eyes wide, cheeks red.

The silence was maddening. Davey tried to read Jack’s reaction. He thought it was a positive one, but he couldn’t be certain. He felt compelled to say something.

‘I’m not just saying that ‘cause - ‘cause you’re sad. I, um, I realised about a week ago. When we were in Hogsmeade, and you gave me the last bite of your chocolate frog. Even though I know you really like ‘em. I just thought - and like, the snow, and your nose was all read. And I kinda realised how in the last eight months I’ve been with you you’ve just shown me in so many different ways how special you are, and how considerate and kind and funny, and I should have told you straight away but wow, big deal - like, I mean, I think it is, and I kinda shocked myself, so I just. Didn’t. Say.’ He forced himself to pause. ‘Are you gonna say something?’

‘Yeah.’ Jack cleared his throat, dropped Davey’s tie, picked up his hands. ‘I love you too, Dave. Freaks me out a little. But I do.’ Davey sagged with relief, his face growing hot.

‘Freaks you out?’

‘I feel like. When you love something - or when you say it out loud, you kinda... jinx it. It’s dumb. And it’s not true. But I’ve never been able to shake it.’

‘It’s not dumb.’ Davey knew what Jack meant. Or rather, he knew why Jack would think it. ‘But we’ll prove it wrong, right?’

‘Right.’

The next week in practise Jack’s patronus took them by surprise. Davey’s was growing stronger as he started to understand how to keep it there, how to concentrate, and he was focusing so hard on it that when Jack’s soared through the air and galloped round him in a circle, it took him a second to realise what had happened. When he heard people congratulating Jack, he dropped focus, his lioness disappearing, and whipped round to find his boyfriend, who was already staring at him with a grin on his face.

Being able to cast patronuses, making themselves fully embrace their happiest memories, on top of that euphoria that rose up whenever they remembered those I love yous was a welcome antidote to the nagging tension of inevitable chaos that the wizarding world seemed to be spiralling towards. Murders were frequently reported in the papers, kids at Hogwarts kept receiving terrible news over breakfast, and even the muggle world was subject to the inexplicable malice of dark wizards. It made everyone cling a little tighter to each other, smile a little bigger, celebrate the good news when it came. Davey and Jack had now made a habit of spending a couple of evenings a week down by the lake, trying to grab on to their waning school years, keeping each other as constants as they plunged into an unpromised future. This night they were staring their seventh year in the face, heads full of N.E.W.T.s and career prospects and the loss of the security of Hogwarts, so Jack’s suggestion of practising their patronus charms had led them to a welcome and necessary distraction.

Davey stopped his first, lowering his wand, watching the lioness fade away followed shortly by Jack’s stallion. He turned his head for a kiss, craning his neck to reach Jack.

‘We should probably get back soon.’

‘I don’t feel like it.’ Jack placed several tiny kisses on Davey’s neck, his jaw, behind his ear.

‘Me neither. But it’s late. Curfew.’

‘I can’t believe we’re almost out of this place.’

‘We still got a year.’

‘But think how fast the last few years have gone.’

‘I know. We’re gonna need to start making some plans soon. Jobs, places to live.’

‘God, stop it, don’t remind me!’

‘Wait. Jack. Serious.’ Davey shifted round a little so he could look at Jack. ‘Do you think - when we’re out of here - you wanna try and find a place? You and me?’ Whenever Davey looked to the future, Jack was always there. That was to say that he didn’t accept any timeline where Jack for any reason disappeared from his life. He craved the comfort of having Jack agree with this out loud, despite being fairly sure he felt the same.

‘Yeah. I do.’ They kissed again, short and sweet, mouths smiling too wide. ‘On one condition.’

‘What?’

‘We leave the curfews here.’

‘I promise.’ Davey got up first, not letting himself think too much about how warm and cosy Jack’s embrace was, and reached out to pull Jack up. Jack wrapped the blanket round Davey’s shoulders and used it to pull him in for a kiss, one which only lasted a couple of seconds before movement in the sky over the tower caught Davey’s eye. He took a step back and pointed up.

A skull had formed in the clouds, jaw hanging down, mouth open in a void. Someone in the castle had conjured it. Davey’s heart sank, his stomach twisting.

‘Let’s just get back to our dorms.’ He grabbed Jack’s hand and they took off back towards the castle, jumping at any movement in the trees, petrified by how vulnerable they suddenly felt in their special place. It was only a five minute walk back to their rooms but the grass stretched out endlessly in front of them.

Safely through the front doors they stopped to catch their breath, letting out nervous laughter in an attempt to diffuse the potent fear. Through the corridors to the staircases, they were almost at the point where they’d have to separate, but Jack spotted a number of kids hurrying downstairs through the darkness. They followed them out into the courtyard, nervous curiosity piqued.

‘Jack.’ Race caught them as they joined the crowd at the back. He stood in his pyjamas, a shivering Spot huddled close to him. That was how they knew something was wrong - Spot letting go of his tough facade in front of this many people was a big deal. The night felt weird and wrong.

‘What’s going on?’

‘It’s Dumbledore. He’s dead.’

At the front of the crowd Professor McGonagall lifted her wand, lit up. Another person followed suit, then another, then another, until the entire mass of students including a terrified Davey and Jack, had forged enough light to drive the darkness away. For now.

(shout out and thanks to sflor018 for helping me with the boys’ patronuses!!) (side note i know i’ve taken hella liberties with the logistics of patronuses but like i’m sure jk wont mind)

[midsummerreads-archive]

Author & Event Spotlight

The Event: Nemesis Book Launch

Where: Barnes and Noble at the Arboretum, Charlotte NC When: Tuesday, March 21 Who: Brendan Reichs and Renée Ahdieh

This was by far one of the most original panel discussions I’ve ever attended for a book launch, and it might be one of my favorites!  Brendan came prepared with a list of random questions for him and Renée to start off the event.  Those in attendance were treated to a lively conversation where we learned that Brendan’s least favorite word is Pamphlet and Renée’s is one that rhymes with “oist,” although I think everyone dislikes that word (not just you, Brad!).  Both authors told about their Hogwarts houses, Brendan apparently tried to rig the quiz to get Gryffindor, but still ended up a Ravenclaw (Yaaaaas!) with an Eagle Owl patronus (#Same).  Renée is a proud Slytherin, who used to lie about being a Gryffindor, apparently a very Slytherin thing to do and the patronus of a rat, which she is fine with because Ratatouille.

My favorite part of this part was that after asking the audience to choose a number between 1 and 50, they took turns reading a small snippet from each other’s newest releases to the crowd. Someone hollered out 23, so I got this part on video for everyone! They then followed up with a brief summary of their inspiration for these books and what they are about. You can definitely tell these two are good friends and are hilarious together.

After asking each other a few rounds of questions about their books, Brendan was equipped with a Polar Express Conductors hat full of random rapid fire questions for himself and Renée, and coincidentally, those of us in the front row. Some of these conductor questions included Magic Wand or Light Saber, Hogwarts Headmaster or Starfleet Captian, Ghost or Ghostbuster, Prehistoric Times or the year 3010, and on and on.  It was pretty fun and I think it allowed the audience to feel more engaged, although I’m a bit partial since I was able to do the participating.

Brendan and Renée then signed books for the crowd (and there was an impressive one!).  Check out more photos below sprinkled between my interview with the star of the evening, Brendan Reichs!

Midsummer Reads (MSNR): Thanks so much for sitting down with me, are you excited?

Brendan Reichs (BR): I’ve very excited, tonight is the first night I’ve ever done a book event for Nemesis, so it’s a big deal.

MSNR: Yes! And it’s in your hometown.

BR: It is, it’s fun to do it at home. It’s actually a little nerve wracking to do it at home just because you know a lot of people in the audience, so it’s not like having that distance you have with a normal crowd, but it’ll be great.

MSNR: Are a lot of people you know coming?

BR: Uh, they better.

MSNR: That’s how I would be; Uh, I’d better see you or someone’s going to get hurt.

BR: I’m taking names.

MSNR: So this book is super complex.

BR: It is.

MSNR: I was reading it and I was like, SO MANY THINGS HAPPENING. Could you describe it in one sentence to a reader?

BR: I actually try. That’s why it was so hard to actually sell the idea because trying to describe it was too crazy to get it into one sentence. Basically…

MSNR (interrupting because I’m rude): You can describe it in a run-on sentence

BR: I would describe Nemesis as Min is a girl at 16 years old and every two years on her birthday she is murdered by the same person except she doesnt die like a normal person, instead she wakes up about a half a mile away without a scratch on her every single time. So on her 16th birthday after she’s been murdered for the 5th time she’s finally had enough and decides she needs to figure this out.  No one is really paying attention to her because there’s this world wide calamity going on where there’s an asteroid heading towards the planet and no one knows when it’s going to hit. And there’s this bit national/international human existence story going on. So there’s very little attention being paid to the trials of a teenager in Idaho.

MSNR (Interrupting, again, because I’m the worst): Right, because no one pays attention to teenagers.

BR: Right, exactly. And there’s another character, and this book has been fun because it’s the first time I’ve written a male point of view in my career, so Noah is having the same things happen to him except that he’s a little bit less stable than Min.  He’s a – kind of one of those guys that on the outside he – he’s a rich kid and she’s a poor kid – he’s trying to keep everything together but really he is a mess. Because he’s been having the same thing happen to him but he doesn’t trust himself to know that it’s even real. So these two things are happening and they eventually decide and they start to investigate that everyone around them starts to be suddenly implicated and you can’t trust anyone. And they find out that they might be at the center of a vast government conspiracy that may implicate all life on Earth.

MSNR: That is a big run on sentence. I’m okay with it.

BR: Yes, it is.

MSNR: So when I was reading it, I found it to be kind of a commentary on human emotion and the way that human nature really plays into the certain aspects of the two characters, specifically, and how they react to this outside force that’s coming onto them.  Very much like Lord of the Flies, like, they are put in this situation, how are they going to react?

BR: That is an essential influence, and I think the publisher likes to use the tagline of “Orphan Black meets Lord of the Flies,” which is an interesting combination, but there’s no good parallel anyway. But that’s what you want and I appreciate that you say that, because you want the story to be about the characters. Ultimately there’s a lot of plot going on in this book and if you stick with it it will all unwind itself, but it winds up pretty heavily at the beginning where you’re not really supposed to know what the hell is going on for a large portion of the book, and then it’s really good that it’s supposed to be centered on the characters because ultimately that’s where every story either fails or survives is on how good the characters are, because the best plot in the world doesn’t survive if you don’t care what happens. So I spent a lot of time trying to put the characters together, I hate the term strong female protagonist because that implies that your female antagonist has to be masculine or different in a way, you know, I just like to think of her as a strong person, and it shouldn’t be noteworthy that she is female, and it was interesting to get to write a male character’s perspective, although I’ve not read the entire breadth of YA, but I’d never read a YA where the male lead was basically kind of a mess.

(Literally this whole time I’m nodding my head and agreeing, because Brendan has taken over the interview **in a good way**) 

BR (continued): So i thought that would be fun because that’s normally assigned to a female character, so you get to overcome their internal difficulties, which can be boring, but what if this is a 15 to 16 year old boy who is putting the good face out there but doesn’t really have an idea of what he is doing with his life. I mean what is happening to him and stuff. So that was the motivation for that. If you like the characters then that’s exactly what I’m about.

MSNR: I actually assigned them songs: Um, I put Min as being very much like Titanium by David Guetta and Sia.

BR: That’s very good.

MSNR: And then I put Noah as more of the Bleachers, I don’t know if you’ve heard of them, um, Jack Antonoff, and it’s called I Wanna Get Better. It’s about mental health and screaming at himself “I wanna get better,” I want to be better than this, and that’s kind of exactly how I see Noah.

BR: Somewhere in the blogosphere (*waves* hey everyone!) there’s a, and I believe it’s for YA Highway, I’d have to look it up, but I did make two playlists. On the Min Playlist, the first song is a Halsey song, because when I listened to her album that just clicked to me, I was like, this is that kind of angry but not a pushover type vibe that I was getting. Like she was pissed off and isolated, but she’s also not asking for favors.

MSNR: Which I really like. Because sometimes girls are perceived as being, you know, weak and asking for help a lot. At least in the South, which is what I grew up with.

BR: And there’s some great YA being written right now with female lead characters, so this is in no way sort of any genre defining effort, just that in the beginning the came fully formed to me, and that she would be isolated and damaged by what had happened to her, but NEVER broken by it. Just that she’s a fighter and she stays that way even though it does have it’s affects. YOu know she acts like she has no friends..

MSNR: Awe, but I like Tack though. Even though he never knows when to shut up.

BR: No, he doesn’t And Tack is sort of my character, and every one of my books that I write, there’s basically one character that’s sort of me talking through the book, you know what I would say in each situation, because I’m kind of a smart ass that doesn’t know when to be quiet either, and that’s sort of Tack in this book.  He’s basically saying the things that I would be saying when I shouldn’t be, you know, running my mouth.

MSNR: Honestly there’s a little bit of all of us in Tack, probably, especially when we were teenagers and never knowing quite when to be quiet.

THIS IS THE SPOT WHERE WE TALK ABOUT SPOILERY THINGS. 

PROMISED BRENDAN IT WOULD BE OFF THE RECORD *SINGS* LALALALALALA

BR: This was the last piece that fell into place for the book. I’m a big planner and when you write books like this that are so plot oriented they have to make sense and you have to keep track of what’s happening.

Matchy-matchy!

MSNR: So let’s just refer to it as “The Twist,” so where you plotting the book and then “the twist,” fell in or you were influenced by outside research?

BR: Most of the time the best ideas that come to me when I’m writing come to me about 2/3rds of the way through the first draft. This is when I’ve been living with the idea for about two months, and I’ll wake up one day, and typically in the shower, it will come to me and will have connected overnight. And this was one of the last pieces to come in and it was really three book ideas that all really came together in this crazy boo, which is why it’s so overbaked in terms of that there’s so much in it and because I had all this stuff and I managed to slot it all in together.

MSNR: I know, but I like that it has so much in it because it keeps you on your toes. I literally had to put it down to go to sleep, and I was so concerned about trying to figure out what was happening!

BR: And this is the stuff that I like to read…

Renée Ahdieh (RA)  shows up being adorable: Totally crashing!

MSNR: Hi, how are you!

RA: Good, how are you?

MSNR: Good!

RA (to BR): What’s up, how are you feeling?

BR: Good, good.

MSNR: This is weird, but you smell really good. (I still think this is weird but I had to keep this in haha)

BR: She always smells good, it’s a signature.

RA (wanders away, being fabulous): *laughing at us* I do like that.

MSNR: So, I’m not going to lie. The guy in the black suit? I totally pictured him as Agent Smith from the Matrix the whole time, and maybe that’s because I grew up with the Matrix, but yeah.

BR: No, that’s fair. And for our generation it would be an Agent Smith type- I mean- for me he looks a little different. Although for me, and this is probably not something I should admit to an audience, but I find the way the character looks, and in the book I’m consistent in the way the character looks but in my head that’s never how the character looks.  it’s just a weird dissonance that no one’s ever called out before because no one knows what things look like in my head.

MSNR: In my head he looked like Agent Smith.

BR: Right, for me he’s more of a Guy Pierce, but yeah you know it’s like a flat hair, flat face individual. And I just finished drafting the second draft of the sequel…

MSNR: So we are going to learn more about the project?

BR: It gets darker and deeper and a lot of the Lord of the Flies aspects are really going to come to the fore, because one of the questions I was dealing with was, the main premise, which was that I wanted to fight the finality of death, and what if death was not final; but not in like a zombie way or a ghost way or a resurrection way, but legitimately if it just didn’t work. Like, you died but you didn’t.

MSNR: As long as Tack isn’t Piggy the whole time.

BR: Right. Well, there’s a lot of, and you know I read Lord of the Flies, and you realize only two people die in that.

MSNR: Yes, but you get it.

BR: But they played it and it’s so beautifully written and you get their dissent. And with my book, I’m hoping to get that same thing, but also that a lot of people die. Because you know with Min’s experience in this book, death has not been permanent and that is such a central question. How would you deal with that? How do you deal with the idea that something that you know should be the end of something isnt? And you can’t really control it?

MSNR: I think the last question I have for you, because I don’t want to keep you too long, is that why you decided to do it on their birthdays, and you know not on…

BR: That is a question that will be revealed, and there’s a lot of little detail strings that are still out there and that’s because you don’t really know at the end of Nemesis, what is next. This book leads you to a point, but it doesn’t take you past that.  And a careful reader would ask themselves, “wait, why was this happening,” but I haven’t gotten to that yet.  That’s a great answer. You know if I didn’t answer it, “Oh, it’s in book 2!” And then I’m like, will you write that down and send it to me? Just in case I made a mistake.

MSNR: When can we expect book two?

BR: Uh, it should be a year. I mean I’m putting in the drafts now so I expect roughly the same time next year.  You know, we don’t have much say. I really like Spring releases, which you never know, but I assume it would be next spring.

MSNR: Well, thank you so much for talking with me!

BR: No, thank you so much.

MSNR: It was so good to meet you in person!

BR: Good to meet you too, and I’ll see you..

MSNR: Yep, you’ll see me in a few minutes!

  A huge and special thanks to Brendan Reichs, Penguin Teen, and Renée Ahdieh for the event on March 21.

Nemesis is available NOW! Go pick up a copy.

    Author & Event Spotlight was originally published on A Midsummer Night's Read

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Dear Seamus Finnigan Haters,

I want to talk about about Seamus Finnegan, who after all was only a boy. I want to talk about a boy who grew up with a mother who loved him, a boy who listened and trusted her because she was wise and caring and his mother.

Let's talk about how he never meant to be malicious, how he was scared and believed his mother, and the newspapers, and everyone he knew because he was searching for an answer. Let's talk about how the only words he had to go on that Voldemort was back were Harry's, a boy he knew and cared about but who was known for doing pretty insane things.

(His mother was usually right anyway- she was a Ravenclaw, after all.)

Let's talk about how when he found out he was wrong, he admitted he was wrong and apologized. He joined the D.A. with Dean and he pushed himself hard to earn the forgiveness of those who saw him as a traitor.

(He wasn't a traitor- he was a scared little boy.)

When they went to cast their patronuses, his was a fox, a cunning trickster that could also be a teacher, a creature that knew its way around obstacles-a creature of quick thinking and adaptability.

Let's discuss what he thought of in order to conjure up a fox as his patronus.

(When an enchanted hat was plopped onto Seamus Finnegan's head, it didn't automatically say "GRYFFINDOR!". It saw his urge to prove himself, his thirst for friendship, and asked him not Gryffindor? but rather Slytherin or Hufflepuff?

Let's talk about how he looked over all the tables, remembering his mother and his father and the little boy on the train with an open face and warm heart, and thought, I want to be brave.

The wand chooses the wizard, but the wizard chooses the House.

Bravery is a choice, and Seamus Finnegan chose to leave behind his mother's house (Ravenclaw) and his aunt's house (Slytherin). He chose the house that wasn't offered, the house that a few minutes later the open-faced boy from the train joined.)

When he was called upon to try at casting a Patronus, Seamus thought of comforting Dean when they were firsties. He thought of accidental explosions that a quiet Neville brought in bubotuber pus to heal, games played between innocent second-years unaware of the horrors of the world, and of the roar of the crowd when Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup in their third year. He thought of pranks with Dean and the Weasley twins and the touch of Dean's lips to his.

He thought of laughter and bravery, mistakes and strength, and so many choices.

Let's talk about when Dean asked him out to the Yule Ball and Seamus kissed him.

(Let's ponder on how their roommates applauded.)

Let's talk about how they danced at the Yule Ball, grinning and giggling, how they ended the night with a quick kiss before falling asleep.

Let's talk about how Dean's friendship and love formed the fulcrum of Seamus' life, how even when Harry's friends abandoned Seamus for the first part of fifth year Dean stayed.

Dean kept kissing his boyfriend, not caring what everyone else would think. He invited Seamus to nights with Terry, Astoria, and Hannah, evening sessions in which they talked about everything and nothing. Even after Seamus reconciled with Harry he kept coming back to their nights together.

This was the friendship the hat had wanted to give him, and this was the love he'd found on his own.

Let's talk about how Seamus stayed at Hogwarts during his Seventh Year and fought, how he never became a General of Dumbledore's Army but instead just a soldier. He was a child but he was ready to fight. He went to school armed with a wand and a score of happy memories starring his friends. He fought with a trickster Patronus and a bag of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, fought with the cunning and the loyalty of the houses that the hat wanted to sort him into.

He fought for Dean, and for Luna, and for Ginny, and for everyone who had disappeared since sixth year or had been forced to run away. He fought for the children who were being forced to hide in the Room of Requirement. He fought for those who had died and those who still lived, but most of all he fought because seven years ago he'd sat on a stool in front of a hall of children, plopped an old hat on his head, and chosen to be brave.

Let's talk about how he became best friends with Colin Creevey while they were hiding in the Room of Requirement, how the sixteen-year-old confided in him and how Seamus guarded all the secrets he was trusted with.

(Let's talk about the boy who found Colin's body after the Battle and mourned.)

Seamus chose Gryffindor, but he was offered Slytherin and Hufflepuff for a reason. In a year spent in hiding, in fear, in darkness Seamus became cunning. He became a spy, utilizing Astoria and Neville's friend Millicent in Slytherin to know when he was free to pass above ground and gather supplies for those in the Room of Requirement, to know how to avoid the Carrows. Seamus became cunning but he also became hard-working, sacrificing sleep and food and time for the younger kids and the war.

Slytherins are more than ambitious, Hufflepuffs are more than friendly, and Gryffindors are more than rash.

Seamus was cunning, and he was hard-working, and he was brave.

Most of all, he never gave up.

There were nights when Seamus ducked into the Room of Requirement unable to stop his hands from shaking because he'd been Crucio-ed so badly. He learned more about the value of pain that year than he did about Defense the Dark Arts or Muggles. He cast silencio charms on himself during the night so that he wouldn't wake up the younger kids (who had so much worse to worry about- he could help himself) with his screams.

And yet every morning he would get up as if nothing was wrong and face another day, though his hands were trembling and his voice hoarse from screaming.

When Dean tumbled into the Room of Requirement along with a returning Luna and Ginny, the first thing an exhausted, war-torn Seamus did was catch Dean and wrap him in a hug. "I missed you," Seamus mumbled into Dean's shoulder, and Dean's shoulders shook as he let out something between a sob and a laugh.

"Missed you too," Dean replied.

They got separated during the battle but Seamus found himself fighting side-by-side with Dean's friends, who had become even more his in the year Dean couldn't be there for any of them, Susan Bones, who had helped him look after the younger kids over the past year, and Hermione Granger, who had returned with iron in her spine and eyes as hard as diamonds. He took out a Death Eater aiming at Millicent and Neville, was saved by a hex over his shoulder from Ernie Macmillan, and helped Luna defend an injured Cho Chang from a Death Eater.

He was not a General, but he was a soldier and a spy. He had spent the last year preparing for this moment, for this chance to fight back. When it was sprung on him with a iron Hermione and a scarred Dean and a Luna missing her turnip earrings, he took the war by the horns and refused to let it knock him down.

He was a child, yes, but somewhere in the last year he'd hit Wizarding majority and become a man. Seventeen is too early to die, but it's also too early to kill someone else. Seamus ran into the battle with a Hat's words pounding through his head, the faint feeling of his Dean's lips on his.

He was as much of a child as anyone else on the battlefield that night, and he fought for his home, his school, his family.

Years later Seamus would return to Hogwarts with a Dueling certification under his belt and McGonagall's permission to teach the upper years' Dueling Classes. Every morning he'd get up from the bed he shared with Dean, who was the new head of the Hospital Wing, kiss his husband, and go to work. He would go to classes, look at the open faces of his students, and think I never want you to ever have to go to war. I never want you to suffer like I did.

And he'd go to bed smiling because he'd seen a Gryffindor kissing a Ravenclaw, a Slytherin hanging out with a Hufflepuff and a Ravenclaw. As long as they kept doing what they were doing, a war would never happen again.

(Part 3/?)

[fleurdelisxpotter]

of lily evans

CHARACTER’S FULL NAME :  Lily Evans.  Born in the sixties, many assume Lily’s parents were flower children or hippies for the way they named their daughters.  The fact of the matter is that her mother, Rose, has always loved flowers.  Named for one, she developed a love of gardening at a young age and named her daughters after two of her favorite flowers.  Her second daughter was named for the lily, a flower symbolizing beauty and innocence.  You may also notice she has no middle name.  The Evans’ never took to adding yet another given name, many women in both families simply choosing to take their maiden names as middle names once they are married.

CHARACTER’S AGE / BIRTHDAY :  18 / January 30, 1960  (In the skeleton you have her age as 19, though she won’t canonically turn 19 until January 1979.  I, however, am totally cool bumping her up a year for consistency sake if that works better all round.  xD)

OCCUPATION : Lily works in the Ministry of Magic as personal secretary to Alastor Moody in the Auror Department of the Magical Law Enforcement Offices.  As his secretary, Lily is in charge of all the mundane runnings of Alastor’s life in the office.  Her talent for organization and productivity make her well suited to the job, letting Head Auror Moody focus on the important business of running the Auror department.  She makes sure paperwork is done, works as a point of contact for the press and other outside organizations.  This in particular is a job she does often, as Moody’s general outlook on speaking to the press is “No.”  Being a member of the Order as well as Moody’s secretary also means that it is worlds easier to hide his involvement with the organization.  There are no lies that need to be told about time spent on patrols and missions that aren’t necessarily sanctioned.  But working in the Ministry, as a muggleborn, is not without it’s dangers. Lily is very aware of the whispers that sometimes follow her, of the open hostility that she faces with some of those around her.  There are many who believe she does not deserve a place in Ministry employ, or any where else in the magical world.  It is because of these people that Lily holds onto her job with all her might.  There is corruption in the Ministry and danger everywhere else, but she refuses to let that keep her from being a part of the magical community that she has come to call home.  

WAND DESCRIPTION : 10¼", Willow, Unicorn Tail Hair core, swishy.  Willow wood is an uncommon wood used for wands, usually choosing a witch or wizard with some insecurity they must one day overcome.  This insecurity is often unwarranted, as it was in the case of Lily Evans.  Being a muggleborn witch, she always felt she had something extra to prove to those born in the magical world, an insecurity that spoke to her wand.  In addition, willow wands often choose owners with the greatest potential.  The strength of the willow wood counteracts the minor disadvantage of its unicorn hair core.  Unicorn hair creates wands that are consistent and loyal, though not always powerful.  In the hands of a witch like Lily Evans, however, this side effect is never usually an issue, the power from the witch herself proving more than enough to succeed in most anything she attempts.

WHY THIS CHARACTER? : Ok so I have loved Lily for a very very long time and I feel a connection to her that I cannot deny.  I feel like there are so many sides to Lily to capture.  And I love exploring the sides of her that aren’t necessarily the pretty happy lovey sides.  For example, her insecurity concerning her heritage, her temper, her impulsivity.  I want to delve into all the parts of her that don’t normally come to mind when we think of Lily Evans.  We don’t think about how scared she is of loving James.  Loving someone when everyone else she’s loved - Petunia, Severus - have turned away from her.  We don’t think about how everything she does has and undertone of defensiveness, trying to prove to herself that she belongs in this world and is worthy of the title witch.  We think of Lily’s bravery in the face of Voldemort but what about all the times before that.  When she was offered a place in his ranks and turned him down, when she actively fought those stronger and more talented than herself, when she got herself hurt because she was not content to stand by and allow them to hurt other people.  I love all those parts of Lily most and can’t wait to bring them to life.

AFFILIATION : Lily joined the Order of the Phoenix without hesitation and without second thoughts.  She knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is the only place for her.  She may not have always thought that way, she wasn’t always inclined towards violence, but she has always been inclined towards action.  And then Mary MacDonald was attacked.  And Severus Snape called her a mudblood.  And muggles were killed.  And her friends got into fights with the people who thought they were better.  Little things chipped away at the peaceful and quiet side of Lily until only the protective firebrand remained.  And then, the summer after her graduation from Hogwarts, she was approached on her way home from the Ministry in an alley in London.  She was offered something few people were offered.  A place at the side of the greatest wizard of all time, a place in his inner circle, helping him achieve his goals.  She wasn’t meant to say no and live to tell about it.  She was to either say yes or die turning the offer down.  But they had  underestimated Lily’s strength, her prowess with a wand.  And they had only sent one Death Eater.  She joined the Order within the week, standing by James’ side, determined to have a part in ending this war.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT THE WAR? : Lily hates this war.  She hates everything about it with every fiber of her being.  And she doesn’t use that word to mean I really don’t like it.  She actually hates it.  She is scared of it, scared that she will lose the people she loves.  Whether they’re fighting or have stayed neutral or are muggles, she has so many people to lose and each of them are a weight on her heart.  It makes her sad.  When she stops to think, to really think, she can’t breath for the sadness.  The pain that people are feeling, the terror they live with, that fact is one she grieves.  

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S GREATEST AMBITION? : Lily doesn’t really feel like she has time for ambitions.  So much of her life is wrapped up in the war, she doesn’t have time to think about what she wants to be or do or achieve.  But then, just because one does not consciously think of it, does not mean one does not have ambitions.  Right now, Lily’s greatest ambition is to see this war brought to an end.  To see the Dark Lord defeated and so know that the people she loves are safe.  But before the war, when Lily was just a regular teenage girl with regular hopes and dreams, her greatest ambition was to find a place where she belonged.  Lily longs to feel as if she fits, as if every jagged edge and odd piece of her blends flush with the world around her.  She never felt that at home, though it had never bothered her until she found out she was a witch.  She’d thought she’d found that in Severus but she had been wrong.  She is wary now, when she thinks she’s found that belonging, she no longer trusts it.

HEADCANONS :

1. Lily’s favorite flowers are not lilies.  To be quite honest, she hates lilies.  She doesn’t like the smell of them and she thinks they’re too waxy and a little bit pretentious looking.  Her actual favorite flowers are daisies.  Simple, without frills, and they grow everywhere.  She likes them because they’re not rare.  They’re common.  They’re easy to find and surround yourself with.

2. Lily is a coffee drinker.  She is of the opinion that few people truly like both equally.  You’re a coffee drinker or a tea drinker and she has always been partial to coffee.  She likes the rich nutty taste.  She drinks it like tea, brewing it at a moment’s notice.  It’s preferred drink while reading, working, sitting, relaxing, or anything of that sort.

3.  Lily doesn’t like to fly.  She can, more or less, but she doesn’t like it.  And by can I mean she can manage to get from point A to point B without falling to the ground and breaking her neck.  She never managed the easy grace on a broom that others have. She always feels like she is giant and awkward and that little piece of wood can’t possibly support her.

4. Lily is not a morning person.  She doesn’t particularly enjoy getting out of her very warm and very comfortable bed any time before ten, but unfortunately life doesn’t usually accommodate that.  Especially not when one has a boss who regularly gets to work earlier than he is scheduled.  Lily isn’t properly social until she’s had at lease one cup of coffee, though this has it’s exceptions.  As long as you don’t talk to her, Lily is also incredibly cuddly in the mornings.  

5.  Lily has always wanted a cat.  Since she was a kid and was told she wasn’t allowed because Petunia was allergic, she has wanted a cat of her very own.  She is constantly in the process of trying to convince James (and Sirius) to let her have one.

SHIPS / ANTI-SHIPS : I mean, chemistry and all that but - Jily man.

EXTRA INFORMATION :

PATRONUS : Lily’s ability to cast a Patronus is new.  In school, the charm alluded her for a long time, it was only as her seventh year came to a close that she found herself suddenly finding the missing piece to cast the spell.  The problem was, until that time, Lily didn’t possess a memory with enough untainted happiness to call on.  Everything she could remember reminded her of losing Petunia and Severus, of feeling like she didn’t belong, of being scared to lose her friends.  The day she cast her first Patronus, however, was the day she realized she loved James Potter.  Thinking of a memory, she thought of him.  She had tried it before, thinking of James, but it hadn’t worked.  It had required her to love him, but more than that, to accept that she loved him, for the memory to be strong enough.  The Patronus she cast took the form of a doe.  But unlike some Patronus forms, this wasn’t a representation of Lily herself.  It was an embodiment of the love that made the spell possible.  Which she wouldn’t understand, until the day she saw that James’ patronus took the form of a stag.  

BOGGART : Lily’s greatest fear is the people she loves turning their backs on her.  It is no surprise this is her greatest fear, given that she’s felt the sting of it not once but twice in her young life.  When faced with a Boggart, she sees Marlene, Remus, James, Sirius, and her other friends casting disgusted gazes in her direction before turning their backs to her quite literally.  Upon muttering the word Riddikulus her friends turn back around, masks attached to faces to make them appear, in a word, ridiculous.

AMORTENTIA : Library books.  Lily associates this smell with afternoons spent studying with Sev or Remus.  Afternoons when things were easy and she could control the world around her.  In books and in her studies, things made sense.  There were facts and instructions and everything was, very literally, black and white.  

Summer wind.  Lily loves the summer.  Something about it enchants her.  The feeling of the hot sun on her skin, the feeling of freedom that it brings with it.  Say what you will but there is something about summer that makes you feel as if anything is possible in a way you never do in winter.  She couldn’t tell you why or where it comes from.  But there is a feeling of invincibility attached to summer and Lily is addicted to it.  

James.  This smell is hard for her to describe and it elicits a feeling more than it is something she can explain.  It’s the smell on his pillow or in the shirt she wears to sleep.  It’s what she smells when he holds her close and her face rests against his shoulder,  She breaths deeply and it is the smell she associates with a feeling of being safe.  Of being home.    

RANDOM STUFF :  

THIS is a song that every time I hear it, I just feel - Lily.  

THIS is one of my favorite Jily songs.  Because as much as Lily loves James, she is terrified that this war will tear them apart.  That she will die and he will be lost and broken.  And some nights when she’s reeling from a mission or he comes home hurt, she wishes that they didn’t love each other.  Because then they would be safe from the damage they could do to one another.

HERE is an old Lily moodboard I made on an old Lily account that you can now also stalk.

HERE is another moodboard, this one focusing on Lily and the war.

BIOGRAPHY

Lily Evans didn’t fit in with her family, even from day one. It wasn’t a bad thing, she was just different. When she was born, her head was covered with a shock of ginger hair - surprising amidst her family of brunettes. As far back as they could remember, neither of Lily’s parents could think of another family member from whom their youngest daughter could have inherited her flaming hair. They thought it a great joke, though, and from the day she was born they called Lily their little oddball.

They had no idea then how right they were. Before she was one she’d earned her nickname in spades.  Between the mobile above her crib refusing to stay in the air night after night and the stuffed animals that found their way from Petunia’s room to Lily’s nursery of their own accord, the Evans could have sworn it was Lily to blame. If they didn’t know better, that is. She was still an infant, after all. How could she be stealing teddy bears when she couldn’t even walk?

From the time she was toddling around, Lily and her older sister Petunia were always together. Petunia looked at Lily like her own little doll she could have adventures with and Lily looked at her big sister with eyes wide with awe. The older girl was her role model and little Lily wanted to do everything she could do. As she grew, though, she started to take the lead more and more. Lily was a fearless child. She loved the outdoors, exploring and discovering the world around her. She’d drag her sister out to the river near their home and they would play games of princesses and knights, living out their favorite fairy tales.

Coming from a small family, the girls were one another’s best friends when they were little. The lived in a small village and it was just the way things fell into place. It wasn’t until Petunia reached school age - leaving Lily without a friend during the day - that Lily started to branch out. For a time she was happy being her own best friend, occupying herself in her favorite spot by the river. It was in these solitary afternoons that she started to discover the the - interesting - things she could do.

It happened quite by accident the first time. It was the first frost of winter and Lily - a flower child if ever there was one - was missing the flowers. She sat by a bush that in summer was covered with blooms and, for lack of a better explanation, wished one into being. It shocked the usually verbose child into silence for a good long time that first day but it soon became her favorite game. She didn’t dare show it to anyone, not even her sister, though a secret like that couldn’t be kept forever.

Being a little sister, it was one of Lily’s favorite games to make Petunia worry.  When it came to teasing her, Lily’s favorite game was played on the swings.  They would swing out by the river and Lily loved to frighten her sister by leaping of the swings when it was at it’s full height.  She was aiming to break a record on the day in question and had been practicing jumping without hurting herself for days.  She planned to take it easy with Petunia around but she lost herself in the fun and slipped off her swing higher into the air than she had intended.  If she hadn’t slowed her fall using magic, she surely would have broken a bone but Petunia didn’t let this stem the flow of admonitions that greeted Lily when she hit the ground.  It was only after she realized her sister was alright that Petunia realized how odd it was that the redhead had floated so gracefully to the ground.

After that, Lily was eager to show her sister everything she could do.  The sister’s spent hours talking about Lily’s new found skill with Petunia asking question after question of her younger sister.   Lily couldn’t help but show off a little, it had been hard for her to keep this secret for so long.  She was showing Petunia what she’d taught herself to do with the flowers when another someone caught her in the act.  Petunia, eyes wide with curiosity, asked Lily how she was able to do all these things and a boy neither Evans had ever met before was the one to answer, coming from behind the bushes.  As if it were nothing surprising at all, he answered the question Lily had been asking for years.  He told her she was a witch.

The boy’s name was Severus Snape and he lived not far from the two girls.  The fact that he knew about magic and could answer the questions that had poured like water from a cliff out of Lily’s lips made him the most precious friend Lily had ever had.  She didn’t know it then but meeting Severus would effectively change her life forever.  

Nearly overnight,  Lily and Severus became great friends.  For so long, Lily had had a secret she didn’t understand and thus couldn’t fully share with anyone, not even her sister.  Once she had met Severus, she wasn’t alone anymore.  She hadn’t ever known how to voice it, but before she’d met him she’d feared at times that Petunia had been right.  That Lily was ‘odd.’  Having a friend that shared her gifts erased that fear and Lily clung to Severus and his friendship like an anchor holding her in the world.  Where she’d once followed her sister around with longing and a desire to be like her, now she spent all her free time asking questions about witches and wizards and magic.

Their shared gift wasn’t the only thing that interested the perpetually curious red head.  She wanted to know everything there was to know about Severus and asked nearly as much about his life as she did about his world.  Before long he was no longer a novelty to be interrogated but a friend she cared for and wanted to protect.  Hours, days, weeks, were spent lying in the grass by the river talking about his parents and her sister and all the things that scared them and made them laugh.  In getting to know Severus, Lily got to know herself.  And in getting to know herself, Lily started to grow apart from her sister.

The closer Lily and Severus became, the more strained her relationship with Petunia grew.  She tried to make room in her life for both Sev and Petunia but the two reacted like oil and water when they were around one another.  It became exhausting for Lily to split her affection between her two favorite people, always defending one to the other and trying to keep peace between them.  And then Lily received her letter from Hogwarts, causing her to lose her sister forever.  

The final fight between Lily and Petunia happened at the river - like most of Lily’s childhood - and resulted in weeks of silence while Lily prepared for school.  Lily tried to contain her excitement as she visited Diagon Alley for the first time, she practiced self control when all she wanted to do was show off her new things to her sister.   Neither girl spoke more than a few syllables to one another as that last summer came to a close.  When the Evans dropped Lily off at the train for her first year, Petunia refused to even say goodbye when Lily tried.  Their mother watched sadly as Lily climbed aboard the scarlet train, knowing that her girls would never be what they’d used to be to one another.

Hogwarts was nothing and everything like Lily had imagined it would be.  After an admittedly bumpy start on the train, meeting a handful of boys she would have been happy never to speak to again, Lily couldn’t help but be caught in the wonder of it all.  She peppered Severus with questions she’d asked a million times on the ride there, wanting him to tell her everything all over again.  Their run in with the two rude boys prompted a whole hour of Lily asking about the different houses.  She was desperate to be in the same house as Sev but the more he talked, the more she didn’t know that she would fit into Slytherin as well as she hoped she would.  A new set of nerves came over her, nerves about the sorting.  Where would she end up and what if she were alone.  

For the first time in her life, she had to do something truly alone when she was sorted into Gryffindor and Severus was sorted into Slytherin.   The talkative young ginger made friends within her house quickly, though.  By the end of the first week, she’d joined herself to the hip of Marlene McKinnon and a few other girls from her year, making a niche for herself with ease.  

Keeping her promise to stay friends with Sev wasn’t as easy as making her new friends.  On the surface she tried to make it look effortless.   She sat with Sev in the library, working on homework and quizzing each other in endless facts.  They fell in love with potions together, sharing secrets and new ideas.  But while she stayed loyal to her Slytherin friend, not all her other friends understood.  She stood with her head high as James Potter and his friends mocked her for her choice in mates, she tried to explain to the girls in her dorm what she saw in Sev, she defended him when housemates ranted about ‘those useless snakes.’  She told herself that he did the same for her but sometimes she wondered and sometimes she wished things were simpler.

Lily threw herself into school with a passion.  She loved every moment of this new life, from her friends to her classes to the food and the holidays.  Coming from a non magical family, Lily wanted to prove herself in school.  Between her sister’s rejection and Sev’s stories about what it mean to be pureblooded, Lily had the idea in her head that she had to earn her place at school, that she couldn’t just take for granted his incredible chance she’d been given.  She knew right off that her favorite subject would be potions.  It was magic she could see and understand.  Charms and transfiguration still surprised her for the first year, anything so traditionally ‘magical’ still had her pinching herself to make sure it wasn’t all a dream.  But potions was like arithmetic.  It was precise and predictable and she excelled at it.

It certainly helped, of course, that her best friend had the highest potions marks Hogwarts had seen in decades.

By her fourth year, Lily had caught the attention of the Potions professor and Head of Slytherin house, Horace Slughorn.  It was no secret amongst the student body that Professor Slughorn played favorites.  The Christmas of her fourth year she was invited to his annual Christmas party.  She’d hoped Sev would be there as he excelled even beyond her in Potions but it seemed that Sev had done what he’d always done best.  Stayed out of the center of attention.

In her fifth year, no one was surprised when Lily was named a prefect for Gryffindor house along with Remus Lupin.  Lily had always gotten along well with Remus, despite what she considered his poor choice in friends, and they made a good pair as far as prefects went.  They balanced each other well.  Something she couldn’t say about the rest of his friends.

Lily hadn’t learned to get along with James Potter or Sirius Black in the five years they’d been in school together.  She still thought them arrogant and entitled and insufferable.  When James decided she was his next target in a line of skirts to be chased, she couldn’t have been more unimpressed.  Her fifth year was full of constant ups and downs.   Between turning James down no less than once every two weeks and saying yes to the other boys who’d started to notice she existed, Lily had her fair share of romantic practice.  Nothing serious and nothing long term but she perfected the art of flirting and found that she did quite enjoy the feeling of being someone’s girlfriend.

As her friendship with her housemates, Remus in particular, grew stronger, time took it’s toll on her relationship with Severus.  With each passing year, it grew harder for her to defend him and easier for her to give in to the idea that maybe everyone else was right about him after all.  Each of them had their own group of friends and while her friends didn’t approve of Sev, his friends downright frightened Lily.   They were all of them bullies to make even James Potter look like a choir boy.  James and his friends were prats to be sure, but even Lily knew that none of them meant any real harm.  Not like Sev’s friends.  

Hardly a week went by in their fifth year that Lily and Sev didn’t get into a fight.  Every time she had to break up a fight his friends had started and take points from Slytherin, she made a point to let Severus know.  She knew she was being a nag and she knew it wasn’t her place but Severus was her best friend.  Even then she continued to think of him that way.  And she’d be damned if she let him lose himself to such awful people without having a say in the matter.

Despite her best efforts, though, fifth year felt like things were unraveling in her hands and she couldn’t hold tight enough to save them.  Sev grew farther and farther away from her, more sullen each time she saw him.  He grew snippy with her and she caught herself wondering what she’d done to make him mad.  And then, in the spring of that year, things came tumbling down on top of one another for the final time.  

She’d heard the word Mudblood before.  She’d even been called it before.  But never by Severus.  Hearing those words out of his mouth felt the way she imagined it would feel to be punched in the stomach.   The last time Lily had felt so utterly defeated was when Petunia had refused to hug her goodbye at age eleven.  One best friend gone then and now - five years later - another decided she wasn’t enough to hold onto.  

That summer, Lily spent as much time as possible at Marlene’s home, avoiding Petunia and avoiding Severus, building up the wall that would keep make it hard for Lily to let anyone not already close to her heart get anywhere near it.  The change was most apparent to Marlene but it would take more than late nights spend over fudge brownies to convince the redhead that it wasn’t her fault she’d lost Severus or Petunia.  

One’s seventh year at Hogwarts was supposed to be a time for excitement and planning for the future, but in Lily’s seventh year a storm was brewing on the horizon.  You-know-who was gaining power faster than anyone wanted to admit and it seemed as though war were inevitable.  But at Hogwarts, a sort of protective bubble was cast over the students within it’s walls.  There they continued to laugh and learn and - in Lily’s case - love.

Lily couldn’t pinpoint for you, if you asked, when things had changed with James.  When she had gone from finding him annoying and obnoxious, to finding him oddly charming. When watching him chase other girls had gone from disgusting to something she was jealous of.  She didn’t know how or when, she only knew it had.  By her seventh year, Lily knew she wanted to give James a chance.  It would take another few months (complete with Christmas holiday spent with her sister and future brother in law featuring a disastrous dick measuring contest between her boyfriend and the prickly muggle) for Lily to know she wanted James in her life forever.  For Lily to realize she loved James back. Then, of course, she had to tell him.  But by the end of her seventh year, it was common knowledge that no one ever loved a boy like Lily Evans loved James Potter.

Lily never felt like she lived in two worlds, not until after graduating from Hogwarts in June of 1978.  For the first eighteen years of her life, she had had one life.  Her parents knew everything about her life at school and for the most part, the people at school knew about her life at home.  But as the conflict with You-know-who turned into an actual war, Lily started to separate her lives.  Her parents and sister weren’t a part of that fight.  She couldn’t bring herself to burden them with the idea that she was using her magical education to fight in a war.  To go out in the line of hexes and curses and come home with cuts and scrapes and broken bones.  So when James asked if she wanted to move in with him after graduation, it was all she could do to not say yes so fast she’d scare even him away.

Sometimes she joked that she felt like a secret agent or a superhero with a secret identity.  Her father just thought she was living with her boyfriend, being an irresponsible nineteen year old with a rubbish job and too many parties when in reality she was doing the most important work of her life.  She got two jobs in the summer after graduation, she became secretary to Alastor Moody, head of the Auror Department, and she joined the Order of the Phoenix, dedicating everything she had to a cause that became personal with each passing day.

PARA SAMPLE

The cobblestones were moving.  She knew it was impossible that the cobblestones were moving but they were.  She was in a muggle village, there was no way a witch or wizard would be making the cobblestones move and yet, as she stood upon them, they shifted her off balance.  No one could tell her that the cobblestones weren’t moving.  

Hands gripped her shoulders, hands she hadn’t seen coming.  Not that that was surprising.  Her gaze was riveted to the amazing moving cobblestones and she hadn’t seen the familiar wizard approaching, having received an unexpected owl from one Lily Evans asking him to meet her near her home and to please not tell James.  The sudden movement startled her and her head snapped up to see the face attached to the hands.  “Sirius!” An impossibly wide smile crossed her lips as she recognized him.

“Evans,” he said after a pause, an amused smirk on his lips and one eyebrow raised questioningly at the thoroughly intoxicated redhead standing in front of him. “Everything alright?”

“Everything is brilliant,” she assured, not swaying a bit as the pavement beneath her feet suffered another moment of instability, thanks to his hands. “Just came from dinner with my sister. Well, with my parents and my sister. My sister didn’t actually want me there at all but Mum invited me. She’s engaged you know.” As she began to ramble, alcohol fueling her speech until it sped up at least twice her normal speed, she pulled herself from his hold and made her way to the low wall lining the small road they stood on.

“My sister I mean. Not my mum. Because that would be ridiculous.” She giggled absently at the idea before continuing. “She announced it tonight. She brought him over to meet mum and dad. He’s a great huge thing, all pink and blonde he looks like a pig. A pig in a suit!” A laugh interrupted her speech and she found herself leaning against the wall, grateful for it’s stability.

“We toasted the couple and we toasted marriage and love and then I just kept toasting. Do you know, I never really liked champagne but it’s really growing on me.” Hand gliding over the rough stones of the wall, Lily began to meander along it’s length.  She didn’t look back to see if Sirius was following, sure that he would and not particularly worried if he didn’t. “But the night, it was just dead boring. All talk of work and cars and wedding plans and my sister looking at me out of the side of her eyes like she was waiting for me to sprout a tail and fly away cackling, scaring her precious Vernon off into the night.” Disdain laced her last few sentences.

“So I thought, since I was feeling too brilliant to end the night, that I needed to see someone who knew how to have fun and who knows how to have fun better than you?” She spun to point at him as she said the word you and tripped over her own feet, stumbling until he steadied her. “You really must get this floor fixed, it’s a hazard,” she said through laughs she barely tried to control anymore. “It really was a waste of a good night,” she went on. “Wasted with my sister. You know, i actually thought she wanted me there tonight. That’s what my mum told me. But when I got there her eyes got all wide and she went paler than normal which is impressive since she might as well have skin the same color as snow and I knew mum had made it up.” It was harder for her now to keep her words light and filled with laughter. They became drawn and tired and then she was quiet. She pulled away from the hands that had steadied her, wandering again but this time without the manic energy.

“She looks at me like I’m some kind of freak. Like any minute I’m going to do something terrifying and embarrassing. My own sister. Can you imagine?” And she remembered, he could. It came back to her then, why she’d owled Sirius instead of Marlene or Remus. This companion. Because no one understood like Sirius what it meant to have your family turn their back on you. She turned to him again, this time slow enough not to lose her balance, and he could see the tears that had formed in her eyes.

“What am I supposed to do?”

[littlefawnlily]

[ headcanons and other notables ]

CHARACTER’S SEXUALITY Even though, I hate the phrase ‘bi-curious’, I’d have to say that’s what Lily is. Meaning that, she would easily be bisexual if it were that easy. However, during the time and considering how much her family is already dealing with in regard to ‘hidden aspects Lily was born with’, she hides that part of herself. Maybe it would be different if she actually fell in love with a girl, but as she stands now: outwardly straight. PERSONALITY TRAITS pas·sion·ate ˈpaSH(ə)nət/ adjective showing or caused by strong feelings or a strong belief.

Lily is an all or nothing kind of girl. If she loves something, she loves it hard. If she hates it, she hates it hard. Middle of the road is for the mediocre in her opinion which can sometimes lead to positive and negative traits, the positive one, is her passion. Passion for others, for justice, for art, and music, and the people she loves.

judg·men·tal ˌjəjˈmen(t)l/ adjective having or displaying an excessively critical point of view.

The negative side of her passion is that she tends to make up her mind quickly. She knows what she thinks is right and she knows what she thinks is wrong. End of story. This leads to difficult situations when she eventually changes her mind or realizes that she may have been wrong to begin with.

AGE & DOB: 18, January 30, 1960; She’s an Aquarius, which would usually mean she has an openness, wit, and imagination unparalleled by any other zodiac than that of the Sagittarius. They value a challenge to their intellect, honesty from everyone around them, and looking inward for inspiration and guidance. However, they also tend to be stubborn, sarcastic, rebellious, and very independent.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Inistioge, County Kilkenny, Ireland

WAND: 10 1/4 “, made of willow wood which is an uncommon wood with healing powers. Ollivander said that an ideal willow wand owner has some unwarranted insecurity of some kind. Lily’s would be that she will never belong in either world that she is a part of. The muggle life is too boring for her. If she chose to be a part of it, she would always have to hide a part of herself, but the wizarding world doesn’t want her or people born like her. It’s a constant struggle of will. Willow wands also have a penchant for non-verbal magic, those wands choose those with great potential and are willing to learn much. As for the core, Lily has a wand with unicorn hair. They produce the most consistent magic, though they aren’t the most powerful. Her wand is described by Ollivander as swishy and particularly good for charm work, which has never surprised Lily as that is her favorite subject. What would surprise Lily is that Willow wood, outside of wandlore, is associated with psychic abilities, intuition, and dreams as she has never been interested in divinations as a subject.

BOGGART:   Mermaids from the Black Lake. One time during her third year, she was out on the lake in an old boat trying to soak up as much sun as she could before it turned too cold. As she was reading her copy of The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle, she started to hum an old hymn her mum had sung to her when she was a baby. Suddenly she noticed a ripple in the water. When she looked to the dark, mirror-like reflection, she didn’t only see her red hair, she saw a pair of yellow eyes staring back at her. They disappeared when she screamed, but Lily has had nightmares about that event ever since. A psychologist might say that meant she was terrified of disappearing quickly with no one knowing what happened to her.

AMORTENTIA: The first time Lily brewed a cauldron of Amortentia she was unsurprised to find that she smelled blackberries, like the ones in her sister’s garden at home. They reminded her of her love of the outdoors and adventure, and the love she had for her family. She was equally unsurprised to smell leather like the tomes from the library that she spent some of her favorite nights at Hogwarts poring over. The surprise came with the last scent; broomstick polish.

PATRONUS: Lily cannot yet cast a fully corporeal patronus. It drives her absolutely mad, because no matter how she tries, she simply can’t seem to fix whatever it is that’s blocking her. Not to mention, Lily Evans doesn’t fail at charms. When she eventually masters the charm, though. Her patronus will take the form of a doe. “The doe is a soft and innocent patronus to have, and those with it reflect this greatly. They have a comforting, almost maternal way about them, and it can draw many to them, and this can cause them to have many friends and admirers. They are social people, but they are not too strong in this aspect immediately, instead being a bit hesitant before getting to know a person. They can sometimes form impressions of others before truly getting to do this, however, and can become stand-offish to these individuals.” QUOTE: “I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation of the little things, my vivid inner life, my keen awareness to others pain and my passion for it all.”

HEADCANONS: • Lily was raised in a Protestant Christian household so when she received her letter to Hogwarts, informing her that she was a witch, she panicked. She’d always been taught that witches, future seers, psychics, and palm readers were possessed by demons. They were evil. But when her parents rejoiced over the news, applauding her and celebrating her skill, Lily was relieved. Maybe all witches weren’t inherently bad. While there are no churches for her to attend while at school, she is certain to be at the chapel every Sunday when she visits home. Lily is adamant that she wants to maintain her spirituality as well as her magic endeavors. She does still struggle with her two contradicting identities and beliefs, though. • Being a child of the 70s, music is definitely a huge influence in Lily’s life. Growing up, she was a huge fan of Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, and The Who. To this day, My Generation is one of her favorite songs. However to many people’s surprise, Lily is a huge fan of the punk rock movement. The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, Patti Smith… she has all the records and posters. Whenever she and Marlene have had one too many shots of Fire Whiskey, Lily has been known to paint her face like Bowie and sing Cherrybomb at the top of her lungs to anyone that will listen. • Lily Elizabeth Evans is one of the biggest Quidditch fans you will ever meet. She never misses a match, she makes the best signs, and she loses her voice from cheering every time there is a game. Although she is actually terrified of flying herself, she makes a point to study the matches and tell Marlene and James everything they could improve on for the next match. Lily knows they’re both absurdly annoyed by it, but she absolutely refuses to lose the Quidditch cup. Not to mention, she has a thing for athletes.   • Lily’s magic is at its strongest when she is protecting someone. Although she is naturally a very powerful witch, there is something archaic about her powers. She has a primal urge to protect people, especially the innocent and oppressed, and her magic responds to that innately. She also has a gift for non-verbal magic that she has yet to discover.