#i spent way too much time on this basically

[rafeandonlyrafe]

first moments

words: 1.5k

warnings: mom!reader, dad!rafe, established relationship, brief hospital setting, anxiety (from rafe)

“rafe, wanna do chest to chest?” you hum, eyes mostly closed, the exhaustion from labor still affecting you.

“i…” he stares at you, and then at your son, resting against your chest, maternity dress pulled open so he's against your skin, his face resembling the exact same one rafe makes when he's sleeping. “its okay, you keep holding him.”

“okay.” you say, looking down at your son. it didn't take you long to decide on a name. leon andres cameron. leon after rafes grandfather and andres after your own. a good strong family name. 

“he's so perfect.” rafe whispers, his voice cracking slightly.

“come closer.” you beckon, rafe moving his chair closer, but still keeping his distance, making you frown. “what's wrong?”

rafes mouth opens, but no words come out. you pause, hand petting over leons back.

“wait…” your mind starts to piece together, still foggy from the delivery and drugs. “you haven't held him yet.”

“i-” rafe stumbles over his words, knowing he's been caught. “i can't. he's too tiny. too perfect. i-i don't want to ruin him.”

“ruin him?” you frown. “rafe, you're his father. get over here.”

you struggle to scooch over on the hospital bed, but manage to make room for rafe to sit down next to you. he even sits carefully, gnawing at his lip as you turn leon over, keeping him asleep as you turn him face up, supporting his neck the whole time.

“just cradle your arms. it's okay, you'll get used to it.” you watch as rafe moves his arms before placing leon in them, having to cover your mouth when the sudden urge to cry hits you, leon looking even smaller being held by your husband.

“i love him.” rafe whispers, voice cracking, a few tears sliding down his cheeks. “i love him so much.”

“look how relaxed he is in your arms.” you coo. “i knew you'd be a good dad.”

--

“god, im so nervous.” rafe looks in the backseat where you’re sitting, leon buckled tight into the carseat.

“its okay.” you hum, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “just drive slow.” “yeah, of course.” rafe nods. he barely puts the car above 15 miles per hour the entire ride home. leon thankfully stays asleep, you’re not sure if you could have handled just leaving the hospital and having him crying on the way home.

“okay, here.” rafe takes a deep breath as he pulls the car into the garage.

“you got his carseat?” you ask. your body is still recovering from birth, and you’re not sure if you can lift anything up without tearing.

“yeah.” rafe undoes the carseat carefully as you get out and unlock the house, happy to be home after two days spent in the hospital.

“mmm.” you breathe in the fresh air. “my eyes are so happy after all that fluorescent light.”

“um- watch out baby.” rafe hates having to have you move out of the way so quickly, but he can hear leon beginning to fuss and needs to get him inside.

you giggle and step away, watching as rafe quickly rushes to unbuckle him. he looks to you to get him out of the carrier, but you allow rafe to scoop him up, shushing him and gently rocking him back and forth.

--

“i got it.” rafe offers.

“no, he's hungry.” you groan, already feeling your breasts swelling with milk just from hearing his cry. “i can tell.”

“im sorry, baby.” rafe sighs, staying in bed as he tries to get back to sleep. no point having both of you completely exhausted.

you manage to settle leon, feeding him in the rocking chair rafe got you before you gave birth. he almost wakes when you transfer him back to the crib, but you get him down and back to rafe, crawling into bed next to him.

“i wish i could do more.” rafe sighs. so much of you is required from leon, not just the pregnancy but now needing to feed him. rafe tries to take care of anything else you could need, but he struggles with not knowing how to do things as basic as changing diapers.

“you're learning fast, rafe. it's okay.” you move closer so rafe can hold you, snuggling into your back, his hand gently rubbing over your hip.

“i don't deserve you.” you know it's just the exhaustion talking. you grip his hand in yours, squeezing three times, saying the words without needing to speak.

“we should sleep while he's asleep.” you say, rafe nodding and pressing kisses to your shoulders and upper back until you're pulled back to sleep.

--

“shh, leon, it's okay.” rafe looks around for you, surely you must have heard leons cries. you said you'd be just a minute, running to the beauty aisle to grab your conditioner before returning to rafe shopping for groceries.

rafe pushes the brim of the carrier back, his heart breaking as his sons little face scrunches with big tears rolling down his cheeks.

rafe isn't sure what to do, so he just lets his instincts guide him as he quickly undoes the seatbelt and lifts leon into his chest, being careful to hold his head just as you instructed.

the second leon is against rafes, his cries lessen, and then all together subside as rafe bounces gently.

“is he okay?” rafe looks up to see you hustling down the aisle towards him.

“yeah, he was upset but i got him.” rafe pats leons back gently, turning his head to press a kiss against his cheek.

“okay.” you let out a sigh of relief, tossing your conditioner into the grocery cart. “want me to take him?”

“no, im good.” rafe shifts leon a little as you start to walk, pushing the carrier and loading the bottom up with more groceries, especially all the things you couldn't have while pregnant but are now safe despite still breastfeeding.

rafe doesn't miss the way you keep looking over at him with light in your eyes, excitement evident at seeing how comfortable rafe is becoming with leon held snuggly in his arms.

--

“are you sure?” you ask, frowning as your eyes flicker between leon laying on the couch cushion and rafe sitting next to him, focus on your baby as he makes silly faces at him.

“baby, i know i struggled at first, but this is one weekend. you have plenty of milk pumped. ill be fine.” rafe scoops leon into his arms as he stands, walking towards you.

“besides, if i need help i can always call your mom. even wheezie, you know she'll be happy to see leon.” rafe shifts the baby to one arm while his free hand comes to cup your cheek. “go. please, i will miss you and leon will too, but you deserve a break.”

“okay.” you nod, getting on your tip toes to press a kiss to rafes lips before also kissing leon, who lets out a familiar cooing sound.

“im gonna text my girls.” you can't hide the excitement in your voice, pulling out your phone to confirm you'll be able to go to the girls spa weekend away. 

“i want nightly face times with you though baby.” you poke leons little nose, whose cheeks stretch into a smile.

--

“oh my god, rafe, is everything okay?” you squeal, squinting at the screen as if it'll somehow make leon appear.

“yes! fine, i promise.” rafe points the camera down so you can see leon happily on his lap, already looking tired as bedtime is quickly approaching.

“why didn't you pick up the first time?” you ask, a lot calmer now that you have eyes on your baby.

“leon and i were just getting home. i took him to the park. he couldn't really do anything but be in the carrier but he liked watching the other kids play.” rafe looks down at leon, giving him a little tickle under the chin. “isn't that right buddy?”

“did you-”

“yes, i put sunscreen on him. and he wore a hat. and-” rafe stresses before you can interrupt. “i reapplied sunscreen after an hour.”

“you're the best.” you smile. “you know i never doubted you rafe, it's just-” you take a deep sigh. “i worry so much about him. and making sure he's happy.”

“and he is.” rafe assured you. “look at his little face.”

you feel tears well up in your eyes as you look at your husband and your son, snuggled together on the couch. you quickly take a screenshot while they both have smiles on their faces.

“you're such a good mama. leons lucky to have you, and so am i.”

the tears are now falling down your cheeks as you smile. “i love you.”

“i love you too. and we miss you, but go enjoy your night with the girls!”

“okay.” you nod. “you're right. ill be home tomorrow around noon.”

“got it.” rafe holds the camera closer to leon. “say bye bye to mommy, leon.”

the call ends with his smiling face looking back at yours.

sfw taglist: @bejeweledreverie @winterrrnight @ladyinbl00d @ethanthequeefqueen

[bloodflw]

﹒syp ꒰ how they are when they have a crush on you . . ! ꒱

﹒ft ꒰ Xiao , Scaramouche , Tartaglia , Lyney ꒱

﹒tw ꒰ super fluffy , slightly stalkerish behavior (?) , xiao ‘n’ scara are in denial , childe spoils you (basically tries to bribe 💀) , OOC !! , reader is an implied female , Lyney also tries to impress reader ꒱

★ . . 𝐗𝐢𝐚𝐨

﹒﹒The first time Xiao met you , your attitude intrigued him , the fact he couldnt feel his karmic debts which were constantly bothering him confused him , but he couldnt complain . ﹒﹒The more time Xiao spent with you , the more time he wanted to spend with you; but it was ‘ just ’ because you made his karmic debt more bearable. . , ﹒﹒Xiao ‘ subconsciously ’ started to pick up on your behaviors ‘n’ even started to remember your fav things ! but it was just bcs he’s returning the favor ﹒﹒but , just to make sure , Xiao asked Zhongli l Zhongli chuckled at Xiao’s uninsurance “Well, I have an itching feeling, that it’s l just a crush,” - Xiao , who thought the concept was ridiculous , shook his head , l but kept quiet as to not disrespect his beloved archon (and father figure) . . , ﹒﹒after spending some more time with you. . , maybe , crushes aren’t so ridiculous. . ,

★ . . 𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞

﹒﹒Scaramouche would usually snap ‘n’ yell at his new recruits , telling them how incompetent they are - but , when he saw you , on the verge of tears; for some reason he stopped yelling so much. . , but it’s NOT related to you at all ! (it is) ﹒﹒Scaramouche found your presence not too bothersome , even if you were a huge cry baby - but he wouldn’t try to comfort you - no way !! ﹒﹒Scaramouche would start to have you put in the jobs that r closest to him - he just prefers you over the other imbeciles is all . . ! ﹒﹒Scaramouche , who Tartaglia teased about liking you - it was a ridiculous idea ! He’s a god , after all ! ﹒﹒well , maybe , it’s not so ridiculous. . ,

★ . . 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐚

﹒﹒Tartaglia , who knew he liked you since the moment he saw you - well , not in a ‘ im inlove with her !! ’ way ; in a ‘ she’s a cute chick I wanna impress ’ way ﹒﹒Tartaglia , who felt even more determined to impress you , when he saw how innocent you were to his ( basically ) bribing ! ﹒﹒Tartaglia , who you ran into a lot . . , but , oh well , it’s not like he remembered all your favorite spots or sent his fatui agents to spy on you ‘n’ inform him of your every activity

﹒﹒Tartaglia , who is reaally happy whenever you’re impressed by him - ‘n’ he basically died of happiness when he saw how well you got along with his siblings !!

★ . . 𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲

﹒﹒Lyney , who instantly noticed you , a simple fontanian girl at one of his shows - he couldn’t help but be allured by your attractive features . . ! ﹒﹒Lyney , who had called you to the stage to be the audience member that’ll get to participate in a little trick of his ! ( just to get a better look at your cute face. . , ) ﹒﹒Lyney , who gave you a rainbow rose after the show , ‘ just ’ as a simple ‘ thank you ! ’ ﹒﹒Lyney , who runs into you more often - just to spend time with you . . <3 ﹒﹒Lyney, who swears , whenever he sees you being impressed by his magic tricks , he could die happy right at that moment !

©bloodflw do not steal or feed into ai . . . 𝜗𝜚 !

[ilypaigebuckets]

hi so basically pretend this isn’t a day late!

plot: small blurb of you spending kate’s day with kate!

Happy Birthday - Kate Martin x Reader

the aces had welcomed kate into their team with open arms, and along with that they welcomed you too. you were your girlfriend’s best friend, hype woman, confidant, and her stylist. whenever she went you were there too, and vice versa. that was why when you were invited to travel with the aces to the dallas game as a special gift to kate for her birthday, you couldn’t resist. you had planned on going anyway, not wanting to miss your girlfriend’s birthday, but a free plane ticket and a spot next right next to kate on the plane was definitely a plus.

“time to wake up, birthday girl,” you whispered into your girlfriend’s ear as you placed your hand on her shoulder and lightly shook her. the blonde rolled on her back and pulled you into her chest. she attempted to bury her face in your hair, and you laughed at her antics. kate was not a morning person. while the warmth of kate’s body heat was nice and cuddles with her were always tempting, you knew kate needed to get up. you gently hoisted yourself out of the nest of warmth and comfort you called your girlfriend’s chest and stood up to your feet. you grabbed her hand and started to pull her up. “i know you’re sleepy lovey, but it’s your birthday! aren’t you excited?!”

the very sleepy form of your girlfriend got up reluctantly and pulled you in by the waist. “since it’s my birthday, i can be as clingy as i want right princess?” you couldn’t help but giggle at her, she was the sweetest.

“of course, kate!” you said as you led her into the bathroom to start getting ready for the day. kate didn’t need to do much, as she never really wore any makeup. you, however, wanted to look nice for your girlfriend’s special day. you did your makeup routine as she stood next to you with her back pressed against the wall, a dazed and sleepy smiled plastered to her face. once you were finished kate came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your waist, burying her head in your neck.

“my pretty baby,” she muffled into your neck. you smiled softly as her sweet words tickled against your skin. you loved mornings spent with her. just then, you remembered what you’d planned to give to kate to start her birthday off special. you grabbed her hand, gave a quick kiss to her knuckles, and lead her back outside the bathroom to the bed. you rummaged through your purse hanging on the door knob and pulled out an envelope.

“here,” you said as you handed it to her, “you can open your card now, and then you’ll get your gift after the game.” kate rolled her eyes at you, but smiled.

“honey you didn’t have to get me anything. having you here with me this year is more than enough. you really didn’t have to-“

you put a finger up to her lips to shush her. “just open the damn card, martin.” she nodded and started to open the envelope. her fingers worked slowly and carefully, in an effort to preserve the card and envelope for later.

the card read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! 24! i can’t believe you’re such an old lady. i hope you have the best day ever my gorgeous girl, you deserve it! you’re such a light in my life and im so blessed to have met you. you’re my sunshine and you deserve the entire world. i hope you know how grateful i am for you, and everything you do. it doesn’t go unnoticed and i really hope you know how much i appreciate you. you’re my soulmate, kate. there’s no better way to put it. i was put on earth to love you. i hope i do today justice in making your birthday as special, spectacular, and lovely as you are! and i hope you’re ready to have some fun ;) :) i love you beautiful girl. you’re my whole world!

“oh my god, y/n. you’re actually adorable i’m gonna cry!” kate pulled you in swiftly to a hug. you chuckled lightly and leaned into her, your forehead resting on her chest. “there’s a lot more i could say, but i figured it’d be better if i just told you in person. but we’ll save that for tonight! now c’mon babe, you have a game to win!” you tugged your girlfriend over to her suitcase, urging her to change. you were so excited for what the day had in store, and were forever grateful you could spend your girlfriend’s special day with her.

[wickjump]

hehe,,,, tell us ur hcs about errors dolls/puppets if u havent yet :3 (if u have please link the post !!)

HAHA SORRY THIS IS SO LATE…..WHOOPS…. anyway!!! i like error i think he’s super fun n silly and i like talking about him,,,

ALRIGHT OKY DOLLS. error has favorite dolls, and he has least favorite dolls. his favorites are aus that don't deviate too much from classic undertale, like basic theme overhauls, while his least favorites include anomalies he deems somehow more pointless or insulting than the rest, such as fresh or any other au unrecognizable as a deviation of undertale.

his favorites get more ‘privileges’, which is to say they get to sit on the bean bag with him when he watches undernovela, while his least favorites are held up somewhere by the neck like a little noose and sometimes made fun of by him. he makes plushies of everyone he meets, regardless of how much he liked them or not. he’s a collector at heart,,!!!! and while most of his plushies are sanses, because he generally interacts with sanses more frequently, he has plushies of charas and frisks and papyri and gasters, and a few others as well.

he has made a plushie of every single cast member of undernovela, and he's protective of them in a 'nonono you cant touch it you might get dirt on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' way. so they remain carefully suspended in the anti-void, or sometimes uses to re-enact scenes from undernovela using the strings.

error talks to himself a lot with them. like, all the time. very very often. and a lot of the time this takes the form in him making the dolls ‘speak’, kind of like how it’s briefly shown in his ask blog.

this is how he keeps himself busy when in the anti void doing pretty much nothing. he makes up stories and ideas, sometimes even forgetting what was his imagination and what was a re-enactment of previous events, jumbling up his fleeting memories of life before the anti-void even more. obviously this takes place during a more isolated period of his story, and he’s better at remembering when others are around. however when left alone for long enough he’ll revert to using his dolls to mimic conversation.

he’s become somewhat dependent on them to fight his loneliness in a way i think. he’d use the clothes off his back and the strings from his eyes and a snapped off bone as a needle to make one, if he was isolated again with no way to get supplies. the time spent making them gives him something to do as well, it keeps him calm.

i like to think he, over time, has made some of his favorite dolls different outfits and such. i also like to feel his love language would be giving people dolls of him or themselves. very rarely other people they’re close to because he's a little self-centered but we love him anyway...

when someone he likes changes 'design', he makes an entirely new doll rather than updating their old one, such as when ink and dream got new designs. there is also a chance that the clothes on some of his dolls are made using the actual clothes of their dusted counterparts (ie outer, fell, etc).

he's fully self-taught when it comes to making his dolls, and his first attempts are,,, well they were something. probably a good thing they're hidden somewhere (his earliest dolls have a striking resemblance to an aftertale sans and a classic papyrus, but he chooses not to think about that for too long).

i have a not uncommon hc that error can trap souls in the dolls, essentially putting them in a coma-like state, but that’s not really close to canon and not unique or cool in any way so i won’t rlly expand there. i dont even use this hc much i just think its cool n silly.

his favorite dolls are classic, fell, and swap (he technically doesn't like fell, but he and his classic doll are bonded, according to him, so he can't separate the two. note how he's canonically called the classic doll 'sans' before but only referred to his fell/other dolls using numbers, which i feel shows his preference if only a little bit). his classic doll is his all-time favorite, though, it's even weighted. they're all comfort items 2 him....sighs

he's made a plushie of himself before that he has exclusively to act out 'what-if' scenarios, mostly pertaining to undernovela, where he's his own self insert. he'd probably love fanfiction

[max1461]

I had read quite number of logic textbooks from a variety of subfields (e.g. Jech, Kunen, Pohlers, Marker, Dzafarov&Mummert, etc.). They all seems to be filled with notations and technical details. It makes proof really hard to read, even if the proof idea itself is intuitive. A lot of time were spent just explaining what the notations do, including very minutiae details. Now some of the complexity came from the rules of logic itself, many proof boils down to "check all the rules". But I feel like there are too much technical details that it's easy to lose the forest for the tree. Worse off, there are often not enough explanations on what the proof will be, so we are mired into technical manipulation like "let gamma be the largest limit ordinal less than beta, if beta>gamma, let delta be the largest ordinal strictly less than beta" instead of something intuitive like "we can reduce the successor case to the limit case by removing the last element one at a time". Some examples of proofs that I think are often written in an unnecessarily complicated way are the proof of Godel's completeness and incompleteness theorem, Gentzen's cut-elimination theorem, independence of CH, and PCP theorem. Just as a representative example of basic results from various fields. I don't have much issues with other fields; if anything there is a tendency to use very terse notations and terse proof. Is there a reason for it, or do you think logic books are just not written well?

This reddit post hits the nail on the head regarding what bugs me so much about mathematical logic. After some searching I am hopeful that Jacobs' Categorical Logic and Type Theory will deliver me from the logic hellscape. Computer science adjacent presentations of logic seem overall consistently better in this regard.

[departedmars]

inside your restless soul, your heart is dying

alternate version:

[ruporas]

soft (and some bittersweet)

[trinitywc]

listen both of you, we don’t have much time

[black-and-yellow]

[aq2003]

i saw a post saying boom was good bc it feels like it could be done with any doctor/companion duo and honestly that was one of the things i felt was wrong with it

[theswordwizard]

screenshotting for use instead of forcing them to see hella tags but as someone who has a constant background of narration around special interests going on in their head which eventually will start to run out of "canon compliant" possibilities and start experimenting with crossovers: this is why I struggled for a bit to do a coherent plotty crossover between daredevil and nbc's hannibal. this is another rambling "for me and literally two other people with my interests and way too interested in meta-compliancy" post:

basically: daredevil and nbc's hannibal have conflicting main themes in ways where they don't as easily synthesize into a new coherent theme. nbc hannibal basically amounts to: what does it take for a person to become a 'monster,' or otherwise transform into a version of themselves that would be a terrifying stranger to them previously. and it sort of frames it as... not necessarily a power fantasy, but it frames trauma as something powerfully transformative. you become a version of yourself that can survive/thrive/take control in the hell you've ended up in. you will surprise yourself what you are capable of doing when it's your only option. but at the same time, its a sort of "succumbing" to your situation.

daredevil is almost antithetical to this. matt's whole thing can kinda be summed up as "even after everything, it's still you." you can go through any amount of trauma and still be able to recognize yourself after. you can stick to your principles even when pushed to the limit and come out alive, and being able to do so is important. he IS his principles, and even though he constantly falls short of himself, his struggle is a definitive trait of his. whenever he starts to abandon his principles is always tied to him losing his sense of self.

he cannot win (in the long run) if he abandons who he is, even if it's only an internal struggle. it's especially prevalent in the comics where basically whenever he abandons his principles he has a bit of a flip-out and tries to abandon "matt murdock" entirely, and then struggles to maintain whatever new identity he takes and has a whole identity crisis/mental breakdown. his strength is his stubbornness and refusal to remain fallen from his standard of self.

so obviously, one of these themes need to bend so far it breaks when put together. put matt in range of the BAU/Hannibal's house and its the big book vs thin book meme. in part because matt's biggest struggles in his narratives are against structural violence and systems (not to mention... the smells...). "there's this one evil guy causing 90% of the problems" is again basically antithetical to matt's narratives, or are at the most just his weakest plots.

ALSO, a lot of the murders in hannibal get treated as combinations of three categories (by Hannibal, who I would say has the most Thematic Influence over the show): 1) they basically deserved it and they were better off being dead in whatever form than alive (mason, mischa's killer), 2) what the killer gained from their death was more important than their life (sorta the case of melissa, her death being the photo negative so will could understand the ripper), 3) their death was important to the killed person, they were only able to ascend or transcend something in their death (many of the ripper victims and general murder victims.)

Basically "agreeing" with Hannibal, or adopting his viewpoint, (or basically being 'seduced' by the story) requires viewing deaths in those three ways. It requires a sort of dissociation with the reality of a person dying in any practical matter. any death becomes metaphor and symbolic, and the symbol is more important than the ending of life, it transcends it. this also doesn't rock with matt's themes.

even if you go serial killer AU matt's relationship with violence, and the temptation of committing murder, is based around practicality. it's that killing would technically be the most efficient way of stopping someone from hurting other people ever again. it's how he could cut through the red tape and financial security that protects fisk or fisk's stand-in, the way they've manipulated systems of supposed justice to hurt people (and specifically innocents), and just end it for good. obv in cases where that does happen (by his hand or others) it again leans into the fact that there is no single bogeyman that can be killed to stop evil or whatever. if fisk dies, there is a replacement to that power vacuum, if matt steps into that role to try and control it, he fails miserably.

hannibal approaches the seduction of murder with: and it's actually awesome? while daredevil approaches it with: it won't actually help you, and it won't fix anything. you will only destroy yourself. both of the (shows at least) fixations on catholicism also have parallel approaches with hannibal encouraging you to become your own god and daredevil reminding you that you aren't. will is basically betrayed by his friends and community while matt is consistently supported by his.

ultimately, nbc hannibal is very metaphorical and artsy and pretentious (i say lovingly) while daredevil is like. How Would Superpowers Effect The Local Law Economy.

[skelekins]

Fumes saw @bug-vib3s' sans with the nose ring [pictured in the second panel] and was completely enamored

so obvi he demanded a nose ring

[foxprints]

I miiiiight be working on a bunch of Murderbot and ART emoji...

(its fawning over Sanctuary Moon 💛)

[randomsufff]

Based on a post or reply I saw once but I forgot to note who made the original post T-T so if anyone know where this concept comes from that’d be great.

(Yeah it’s the Blood Orange meme lol)

[personinthepalace]

Odd Squad First and Last Lines

Happy 9th Anniversary to Odd Squad!

[calciferous-kelpie]

OKKOTOBER 2022 - P.O.I.N.T. Prep

“One second you’re acting like we’re cool, the next I’m just some obstacle you want to jump over. Do you wanna be my friend or not?”

I've always loved the symbolism in Enid having the "Friends" half of the necklace and Elodie having the "Best" half. Love the drama of their relationship and the eventual reconciliation! 💖