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weissicles · 4 years

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Humanity and Catharsis: FE3H Crimson Flower Meta!

I finished the Crimson Flower route for Fire Emblem: Three Houses! Now it’s time for some meta. This isn’t spoiler-free and it’s pretty long... so read at your own risk! (Though, I’m pretty late to the party, so I’m sure you’re all way ahead of me...)

Byleth’s Ending

First and foremost, let me begin by saying that this ending has to be my favorite for Byleth. I mentioned in an earlier post that I am aware of the end results of the Azure Moon (AM), Verdant Wind (VW), and Silver Snow (SS) routes, despite still needing to play it. I still felt pleasantly surprised and very pleased to play through the CF route, especially for Byleth, because I truly believe this was the best ending for their character. Byleth loses their divine powers, becoming even more human than they were at the beginning of the game, and that’s pretty neat.

(Borrowed this image from r/Edelgard; thank you, u/BrilliantGenius)

I think the biggest reason why I love this ending so much for Byleth is because they return to being a real person. Throughout the whole game, the player gets to watch how Byleth, a traveling mercenary, realizes that they are connected to Sothis, the Goddess, and how they awaken their true powers. Byleth merges with Sothis in every route, but only in the CF route do they lose their divine powers, as killing Rhea results in the breaking of the crest stone in their heart. Why does this matter? Numerous times, Edelgard mentions how she wishes to end the tyrannical rule of the Children of the Goddess (CotG), particularly Rhea, because she perceives that humanity has moved past needing to be ruled by non-humans and the oppressive systems they’ve created. Edelgard is traumatized by her own horrendous past, which drives her to find ways to end suffering. She appears like any crazy, mad queen figure in the routes that cast her as an antagonist, but what remains true throughout all routes is her passion for finding ways for humans to be humans without unnecessary suffering. She desires to restore humanity to its dignified state by eliminating the CotG, which make sheep out of people.

That’s why Byleth--the one with divine powers, quite literally the Goddess Incarnate--returning to how she was at the beginning is so powerful. This person, who became a weapon to change the tides of war, now gets to be a normal human. The crest stone breaking and her heart beginning to beat for the very first time symbolizes the collapse of the crest system and the freedom from a system that hailed Byleth as a weapon rather than a person. What’s more, Edelgard, the lord fighting for ideals of humanity, is the first person to hear Byleth’s heartbeat. She is the first person to realize Byleth’s changes, to see how they become a person again. Her dream for Fodlan is realized first in the person she looks up to the most, the person who has fought by her side since the start of the story. If that’s not poetic, I don’t know what else to tell you.

Catharsis

Now, what about Edelgard?

Let’s not pretend that she isn’t controversial. She is, and for good reason. Presented as attractive and likeable regardless of your choice of house, Edelgard serves as the antagonist for 3 of 4 routes. She dies in every route except CF and that matters. She turns into a heartless, cold leader whose ruthlessness can no longer be justified as the bloodshed continues to worsen. In the eyes of the other lords and Rhea, there is no possible way for someone as crazed as Edelgard to live. And frankly? The way that she turns out without Byleth, that makes sense.

So, why does it matter that she lives in CF, and that we see her the way she is? In no other ending do we ever see Edelgard herself returning to a sense of being human. No other ending provides reason for why she should live. CF is the only route where we can explore her character in full, realize that she is just a girl after all, and that she is human, too. That is why it is only in CF do we see this: Edelgard crying.

Following the battle at Tailtean Plains and slaying Dimitri, Edelgard nearly cries when she talks about the fallen king. Now, this is just a headcanon of mine, but I imagine that she might have remembered something about him and their childhood at the mention of her nickname, El. (”To the fires of eternity with you, El...”) His death shakes her to the point of nearly crying, but she doesn’t. She even says that the Edelgard who sheds tears died a long time ago.

But she cries when she thinks Byleth is dying.

This is the moment when the Adrestian Emperor returns to who she really is: Edelgard. Unable to help herself, Edelgard experiences grief and reacts as any person might by crying for the person she loves. She does something she hasn’t done in years, probably since she’s been a very young child in the dungeons underneath the palace in Enbarr. Why? Because she loves Byleth and losing someone you love should break you. This scene goes to show how Edelgard cares deeply for her teacher to the point of experiencing loss. When she realizes that Byleth may yet be alive (since the crest stone broke), she presses her head to her chest, hears her heartbeat for the first time, and starts to laugh. Yes, she laughs! Quietly, and mangled with the sound of some tears, which we can assume are shed out of pure joy that their professor is alive.

Here we see that Edelgard, like Byleth, is returning to a more human state. She’s finally allowed some catharsis, a major resolution to her suppressed character. Throughout the whole game, Edelgard has been nothing but repressed, constantly wearing the mask of Emperor, bound by duty, unable to be truly free. Without Byleth, she becomes even more inhuman as she really becomes more tyrannical. But with Byleth, like her teacher, she becomes more human, able to express feelings, able to be warm, able to experience loss because she loved.

Now, this is my more personal take on it, but I have always liked the thought of Edelgard and Byleth being more romantic than platonic following the timeskip. It’s heavily hinted that Edelgard has always taken a keen interest on the professor. What initially begins as a hope that Byleth may side with her turns into an actual desire to walk with her and experience a new dawn with her. Interestingly, the Japanese version has Edelgard more explicit with her romantic feelings than in the English version. Regardless of whether you read their relationship as romantic or platonic, I think this ending makes it clear that Byleth and Edelgard are equal, humans, people who care for one another and work well together. Byleth fulfills their role as more than an advisor. They are a mentor, a friend, and even family (see their ability to call Edelgard “El”, a name only Edelgard’s father and Dimitri use in CF). In that way, this route’s final message is this: that to love is to be human, and to be human is ultimately to love. That is why I really think that this route is the best possible outcome for Edelgard and especially for Byleth.

Other Takes

While I was disappointed that it was only 18 chapters long, CF does take a more direct approach, as the tides shift significantly when Byleth sides with the Empire. I would have liked if Claude and Dimitri played a more prominent role, though I know that CF focuses mainly on Edelgard and the BE’s against the Church of Seiros. I really think there was potential for Claude and Edelgard to be something besides a warring emperor and a neutral leader. I will admit: Edelclaude is a crack ship of mine. But I find their similar views on the church, their dreams of a new dawn for Fodlan, and their odd interactions to be interesting enough. I understand why Claude either must die or leave (for Almyra). If he hadn’t, that could have changed the way the war turned out, ultimately lessening Byleth’s role. It’s an interesting thought for a canon-divergent story. And let’s be real: Edelgard and Claude somewhat flirting while they face off in Derdriu? Ain’t slick at all!

And Dimitri... Oh, poor Dimitri. My best friend and roommate just finished AM and was so defeated by Edelgard’s death because of her relationship with Dimitri. They’re a tragic set of people, Edelgard and Dimitri, and it makes sense that in both AM and CF, one of them must die. Still, I was so shaken by Dimitri’s last words before Edelgard personally executes him in CF. I would like to think that that was not easy for her at all. I would like to think that she remembered him, at least a bit, and that she felt something there as she killed him. I don’t know what else I would have wanted out of Dimitri in CF, but I know I wanted something more. AM does a great job of providing good angst from Dimitri’s side. It would have been nice to see that from Edelgard’s side as well.

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All in all, CF was a great route and may remain my favorite route, as I’m very impressed by Edelgard as a character. We’ll see! It’ll be a while until I play another route, but suffice to say that I’m floored by FE3H’s story, characters, and world. What a beautiful game, through and through!

#fe3h #fe3h spoilers #crimson flower #crimson flower spoilers #bhu speaks #meta #byleth eisner #edelgard von hresvelg #long post #edeleth #honestly this doesn't have to be edeleth #but let's tag that anyway #analysis #personal take #bhu plays

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hairphones · 4 years

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Why Libra is my favorite FE character

(if anyone knows the artist here it’d be appreciated to mention it)

Fire Emblem has plenty of characters people give a shit about. Most of the time it’s going to the lords or any of the really popular “waifu” characters, but in recent time I’ve found people who love all kinds of people in the franchise. The best thing about FE’s characters is there’s bound to be at least 1 person in here that you’ll consider cool. Despite there a lot of reoccurring archetypes I’m willing to say FE is still able to make something that feels unique in each game, even if not necessarily good. Anyways, for me one character who’s stuck out is of course the guy in the title, Libra. I’m always kind of weirded out this guy isn’t anymore popular than he actually is. Awakening is one of the most successful games that had a cast full of characters that ended up being way too popular for their own good. And yet, Libra is one of the few Awakening characters that doesn’t exactly get to enjoy the limelight like the other part of the cast back then. With that being said though I’ve found him to be one of the most interesting in the game and as you can read in the title he’s just flat out my favorite. I guess the best way for me to start is him as a unit.

Libra comes in as one of the more unique classes in the series, war monk. As a prepromote most people probably skipped over what’s given to you here despite what honestly is a pretty solid no investment unit. I say this from his C staff rank and his fairly balanced stats that lets him handle himself quite well for the first few battles he can fight in. Of course I gotta be realistic, Libra is no way a character who’s going to stay good at defending himself. Awakening’s real emphasis of making your units snowball means that ignoring to train Libra will only really leave him as nothing more than a staffbot, and even with training a glaring flaw is that Libra is too balanced for his own good to really specialize in anything unlike the other units. Another flaw comes from his rather limited class pool that leads to Sage and Dark Knight taking up spots in multiple class trees. This does give him access to helpful skills such as vengence or lifetaker, but unless you plan to grind only Libra I wouldn’t call it optimized to constantly reclass and train him. I’m in no way a hardcore FE fan that takes into account how units play in the challenge runs such as LTCs/Ironmans/Low recruitment, but I think it’s safe to assume that Libra’s overall performance will come in as primarily a support unit. But of course, judging him on his numbers isn’t my focus here.

I want to start off talking about Libra’s character with what you can already see from his design. It’s no surprise that most fans make the connection to Libra and other designs such as Lucius from FE7, another favorite of mine. In-game there’s a gag involving him looking female to other characters. However while his face is feminine, he’s actually rather tall and with a masculine frame. As one of the tamer Awakening designs I actually quite like his outfit as it perfectly fits with war monk ( I know crazy). Though you can chalk that up to being biased.

Hell on first appearances you’re most likely ready to assume this character is going to be a born again christian character with the only joke being he’s actually a male judging from the recruit conversation. The fact Awakening has it’s share of running jokes among party members definitely could lead to you assuming there’s nothing interesting about this guy. Yet, shouldn’t the fact he wields a weapon (as opposed to the usual magic tomes these sort of characters use) surprise you? and an axe at that? Lemme emphasis that, why an axe?

Sure FE has this tradition of the 3 main weapon types, but has it ever been used to add character? Not exactly, but it has been part of character archetypes for quite a while.

Think about what kind of character uses swords: The lords, the brave mercenary leader, the heroes, the flashy edgelords that become swordmasters. Swords almost always play a role as the legendary weapon made to save the day in FE games (as well as any jrpg). The sword will always be a symbol of courage in just about any video game.

(this screencap is low quality to stay consistent with the speaker)

How about lances: As far as FE goes the lance is primarily the weapon held by the jaigen archetype and the main weapon for the more chivalrous units such as cavaliers, knights, and soldiers. The kind of characters associated with these are often the diligent or experienced members of the army. You also have the usual flying trio of characters that range from happy go lucky to those that take the situation seriously.

Now what about axes? These weapons are more often than not held by the lower class characters. Hired fighters, bandits, pirates. These characters aren’t ever bad, but they’re not exactly fighting out of heroism or for their nation. In fact these characters are the most down to earth in the grand scheme of an army full of anime characters. Maybe not sooo much in Awakening’s case with Vaike, but every single one of these weapon types have their exceptions. Also wanna mention that one of the most (in)famous weapons in the series is called the fucking Devil Axe.

Going back to Libra, why would a character like him hold onto an axe when it’s pretty apparent he’s more of a gentle character? Why the weapon type that’s the most violent looking of the triangle? Obvious reason is purely gameplay reasons involving the odd design the war monk class is, but looking at it from a literary perspective only makes it look off (especially with the female clerics). This is also something to wonder if you take into consideration his C ranking, implying he’s at least somewhat experienced. Not to mention his high stats for that point in the game.

For better or worse this kind of mystery isn’t exactly answered in the base game of Awakening. However there’s some interesting conversations that’s found in the Summer Scramble DLC that gives an idea. Specifically the one with Lon’qu.

Lon’qu catching onto the dissonance of Libra’s appearance to his skill. The first conversation is only Libra claiming there’s no reasoning behind any of it. however the second conversation has Libra open up to talk about himself more.

As you see there’s no explicit answer to what kind of “darkness” Libra has ever committed before the events of FE:A, but given Lon’qu is the one to take notice of Libra’s supposed bloodlust the implication isn’t going to be anything peaceful. In fact, it’s that violent nature that gets questioned in another conversation in this same DLC.

Again, this conversation feels more important to take note of given what character is talking to Libra. In this case it’s the hyperviolent character who takes comfort in bloodshed (at least in the western release, perhaps Henry is different in Japan?). Either way, this conversation goes hand and hand with the Lon’qu one in a pretty easily. That is to conclude that Libra himself has had a pretty rough past filled with who knows what, and that past version of himself was most likely not justifying any murders as if justification was even something to consider. The Libra you meet in-game is of course still capable of killing, but it’s extremely obvious he has a concept of remorse.

There’s no reason given anywhere as to what changes this man to become the benevolent priest. Though really I think it’s better that Libra keeps it consistent with revealing almost none of the causes in his life and instead only showing the effects. Filling in the blank is not a new thing for FE characters, in fact fans of older games in the franchise seem to really enjoy that aspect quite a lot.

Still, even the current Libra understands himself to not be a person devoid of guilt or sin. A few supports touch upon this aspect such as the one with Sully.

Libra’s doubt that he’s anywhere close to being considered a good man in the fact of the gods adds something that I absolutely love: having skepticism to one’s own morality. There’s something important to follow up this with how Libra views morality in battles in one of the supports with Gaius.

Even as a supposed man of faith he refuses to deny that living a fight against the different nations in Awakening is just a matter of being on the side that’s doing more killing. Take away all the politics of any war and you’ll find people who are simply fighting for the right to keep on living. It’s what considered “just human”. I also find this conversation to be a little more profound given that is the same franchise where one of the biggest features is permadeath. These characters put their faith in their gods to escape death another day while the average player is the one avoiding death altogether.

Finally, a support with Tharja concludes mostly everything learned so far. Where she explores Libra’s memories only to find there was no peaceful childhood.

A newfound devotion to a religion isn’t treated as a fix to a life full of cruelty. To be a good person to many doesn’t absolve you of the terrible things you’ve done to others.. I’m sure this kind of topic has been explored in FE games before or after and in countless other video games/movies/books/pieces of media as well, taking away the religion part of course. Nonetheless the introduction to this kind of thinking to a 13 year old version of me had me really second guessing back then, and it still comes up to me from time to time. Sure I’ve done what’s considered “good” but will it ever outweigh any terrible things I’ve also done? Even today I can’t pretend I have an answer to that, and that’s just only thinking of what I’ve gone through personally.

To wrap it up though, there’s his ending card.

For such a simple ending it really brings out the fanboy in me. The entire game is filled with Libra having his doubts of being a good person according to himself and to the gods he worships. To end his story with him being believed to be a reincarnation of Naga due to his reformed nature just feels so sweet to me.

As much as I wish more characters could have a similar air to them in newer games, I get it’s just not really everyone’s preference. Fire Emblem is always going to be a series of good guys vs bad guys also dragons and with that comes making new characters for fans to get attached to. Still though, I really appreciate the attempt done with Libra. Once again the best thing about this franchise is everybody can find at least 1 character they love, they don’t even need to be playable.

I understand not everyone is going to grind supports to see everything a character has to say (especially not in newer FE games), but as you can see nearly all the nuance of this character was hidden away in dialogue. In a game full of joke characters and tropes, it is refreshing to see a character who acknowledges their own flaws and isn’t played for laughs. I didn’t write all of this to try to convince anyone in some clickbait manner like “THE DEEPEST FE CHARACTER INTELLIGENT SYSTEMS HID FROM YOU” or anything. Nah, I’m sure I sound like I’ve repeated myself many times here. But all of this was to attempt to put into words why I’ll stay with my opinion that Libra is my favorite FE character for being a reformed character done right. And for the fact that uncovering the secrets of this guy affected me personally all the way back from when I was a lot younger. And honestly a large part of it really stems from how Libra is in no way a major character, yet he clearly had a lot of thought put into him.

For anyone that bothered to read all of this I wanna thank you. Whether you liked it or not is up to you, no hard feelings. I know all this is the definition of “reading too much into it”, but I consider speculation on writing to be fun. Anyways hope I didn’t take too much of your time and have a nice day

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tearasshouse · 4 years

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Vidya ramblings pt 3B

Previous list here.

Onwards and upwards to the B-tier games. I guess its a good sign that we have so much to play, and that the general bar for quality has risen so much year on year, such that B-tier games would easily slot into my A-tier list in a slower year, or C-tier games slotting into B-tier for that matter. I have to deliberately go looking for chaff these days, is what I’m saying. “B-tier games” sound worse than what they actually mean on my list: those I had very few qualms about, or their strengths were enough to compensate for their shortcomings and I generally looked forward to firing them up instead of doing so out of my completionist’s sick, demented obligation. So! Pat yourselves on the back, game devs.

Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia (N3DS)

I’m not an FE mark by any means, but when I’m looking for something to play on a Nintendo platform (3DS is the only one I own), FE games are invariably among the scant handful of their franchises I turn towards. Awakening was my first FE, so as a latter day entrant I have to judge all future games by that metric. I wouldn’t outright call Echoes the better game, although it is a better game in many aspects. The “feet on the ground” dungeon exploration is a nice addition; the art is absolutely gorgeous, the soundtrack is stellar, and despite not having the romances or pair-up feature, the combat was solid, even if the maps and objectives are very rote and frankly dull. The cast was very enjoyable, and plot well, it’s typical dragons and destiny and royalty will save the day, blah blah vanilla FE storytelling. It was a nice distraction in the early months of the pandemic, but I might have to give the edge to Awakening here. I am looking forward to playing all 3 routes of Fates sometime this year or the next though.

Final Fantasy VII Remake (PS4)

Finally, I hear you groan, an actual 2020 release. Certainly the most lavish remake I’ve played since... RE2? I should have more nostalgia for this game, as the OG was technically my first JRPG and I’d spent an entire summer on it, with my friend’s PSX copy and his strategy guide laid out in front of me. But, I went into this with hype in check and nostalgia completely dulled, maybe because I actually am just a dried up, withered out old fart with a prune for a heart? Anyway, game is pretty good, there isn’t much to say about it that others haven’t already gushed over or criticized to death. I will say though that it’s been a while since a game’s difficulty tuning and mechanics absolutely kicked my ass. You need to learn the combat system in this or you won’t get very far, certainly not on Hard Mode anyway. I’m a bit wary about the 2nd and 3rd (possibly 4th?) entries in this project. Just how will they re-interpret the world map? How are they possibly going to tie everything up? How much of the OG game will be cut or reconfigured, and how much will be filler? Will we have to sit through more of those interminable “slide through narrow crevices to mask our shit loading times” sections? Will the environment textures actually load up properly?

Hades (EGS)

Yeah, it’s a Supergiant joint, and I’m a mark for Greek mythology, what more do you need? The only reason it’s on a lower rung here, and it’s not a fault of the game so much as what I look for in games. I’m just not much of an arcade-style, score attacker or rogue/rogue-lite player. If I wanted creative re-use of assets with super high replayability, I’ll go for a MP shooter, or an immersive sim. All that is to say that the game is rather short and repetitive (by design), and the drip-feed of story, character development, unlocks or trying out new builds and personal challenges just doesn’t do it for me. What is here is quality, through and through without a doubt and the whole 31 hours it took me to do my first clear (again, one and done - that’s all for me) were just good old fashion gaming fun.

Death Mark (PS Vita)

Vita means life! This game gets the dubious distinction of being the last physical Vita game I’ll ever buy (I was as surprised as you you must be, mhm!). The only reason it’s on the B-tier list and not the lower rung is a testament to its successfully creeping me out from beginning to end. Which is saying something, because it’s a typical horror story of urban legends manifest as hauntings and curses, done as a very low budget VN fashion. If you’re used to VNs with more QoL features like in ye olde Steins;Gates or some such, well, you’ll be quite disappointed here. No text logs, no touch controls, extreme reuse of very limited assets, etc. I understand that the dev, Experience are uhm, experienced DRPG makers, and that influence is certainly felt in the “boss battles” here, though they are somewhat clunky and use adventure game logic, which is to say not very logical or poorly explained. This is also on Steam, Switch and PS4 so... go forth and acquire.

Gravity Rush Remastered (PS4)

Unlike Tearaway Unfolded, I will say that the PS4 version is the way to go with superior controls, performance, visual fidelity, etc. You lose nothing by going to the big screen. Still one of the most charming things Sony has put out, and like it’s successor, it’s still a somewhat underbaked game. The definition of a cult classic or a B-tier perennial, simply swimming in well-earned 7s. This would rate higher (while still within the B-tier) had it not been my 3rd time going through this, but newcomers will be treated to something fresh and special. Anytime I get to shill for Gravity Rush is an opportunity I will gladly take.

Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End (PS4)

The very definition of a B-tier game in my books! Well crafted and big budgeted enough by the task masters, technicians and actors at Naughty Dog to garner a guaranteed spot here. Again, I don’t mean to sound backhanded, but it’s really hard to truly love something this big, with this much broad appeal and craftsmanship. It really is everything that’s right (and wrong) with Sony’s (Western) first party output this past generation. I was slackjawed during the Madagascar car chase, touched during the dramatic moments between Nate and crew, the flashback sequences with Young Nathan were done really well (again, walking sim sections one and all), and UC4 reminded us about why pirate adventures are awesome (themes of obsession and seeking treasure at your own peril be damned). Crushing Mode in this one is truly diabolical (in the not satisfying, simply die-lots way), while the MP is... okay? Forgettable for the whole hour I devoted to it.

SOMA (Steam)

A downer of a sci-fi tale about post-humanism (or transhumanism?), deceptively snuck within a fairly spooky horror thriller. It’s made by the Swedes behind the Amnesia games, partly set in a curious recreation of my hometown of Toronto, about an average dude going through some pretty extraordinary circumstances, and none of it is treated with extraordinariness. It’s definitely a muted affair, and contributes to that grounded, depressing tone. Yeah the human race is long dead and the few consciousnesses left alive are going to live out the rest of their existences in virtual reality until the batteries run out, so what? Get to it, Simon. Smart and logical spatial puzzles underpin the walking sim aspect of the game, and though there’s the slight survival horror/stealth element, I played on Safe Mode cos I could only imagine how frustrating it would be to die to those things. Check it out, it’s great, but it’s not for everyone and in a pinch I wouldn’t want to play something like this, which is why it ends up here in the B-tier.

#2020 in review #vidya #gaming #tech #videogames #tl;dr #long post

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theoceanswaves0 · 5 years

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SPOILERS AHOY (ISH)

It’s been like four years since I did a post like this, so here’s me dumping my thoughts on various, random things I’ve been into/thinking about lately.

I’ll be covering Miraculous Ladybug S3, Fire Emblem Three Houses, My Hero Academia, The MCU, Chocolate/Zen: Warrior Within, Pokemon SwSh, Victorious, BtVS/Angel, and Star Wars: RoS so just a warning for potential spoilers. Also, there will be salt and gushing, so proceed with caution.

Victorious

--> Ok, so this show came out when I was already in high school, so I think some of my opinions and takes on the show are going to contrast with the general consensus.

--> But I’m firmly in the pro-Tori Vega camp. Do I agree with her kissing Beck in the pilot? No. But considering that Jade humiliated her in front of her class for a small misunderstanding that could have been easily cleared up if Jade took five seconds to hear Tori out, I find it difficult to feel bad for Jade. Plus, Tori gets called out for this a couple of times in later episodes anyway.

--> As for Cat’s BF, yeah, that was shitty too but A. He was originally Tori’s BF and they only broke up a year prior to the episode and B. Not only does Tori feel immediate remorse for what she does (spraying Cat with cheese and then kissing her bf in front of her), but she apologizes and never does anything like it again for the rest of the show. BTW, these are both season one incidents, so clearly Tori grows out of this.

--> Plus, I can relate to some of Tori’s awkward traits, like being kind of annoying, not having the best verbal comebacks and feeling pretty average.

--> On the other hand, I can’t stand Jade. Her attitude reminds me of a girl I used to be on and off friends with in middle school. She ended up embarrassing me in front of the cast of our fall play in eighth grade and never apologized for it. Plus she would say or do things that, in hindsight, made it clear she didn’t want me around.

--> But I mean, at least that girl didn’t steal a pint of my blood meant to be used in a mutual friend’s operation, so...

--> Although clearly, Rex the Puppet is the worst character on this show. Jade at least does stuff, why do we need to have Rex around...?

--> My ships are Tandre (Tori/Andre) and Catrina (Cat/Trina)! Tori and Andre always look like they have fun performing together or just hanging out, and their friendship is just so precious. I wish Cat and Trina had more scenes together, because I loved their road trip in “Tori the Zombie” and they’re both dysfunctional in their own ways, but trying their best!!

BtVS/Angel

--> Nothing new really. But my Tandre feels reminded me how much I also loved Gunn/Fred and wished that they stayed together. Even their ship name, Funn, is precious and gahhhhhhh breaking them up was a mistake!

My Hero Academia

--> It took me like 3-4 years after watching the first episode, but I finally watched it.

--> I’m surprised by how much I really like Izuku. Like, I normally like the protagonist fine, but Izuku just really stood out to me. He’s socially awkward, but in a pretty understandable way, intelligent and passionate without using any of it to put other people down, and ofc he cares about his friends and saving other people because what shonen protagonist doesn’t? The only thing I don’t like about him is his hero worship of Bakugo, but that’s just my bias.

--> Oh, yeah, I don’t like Bakugo.

--> Relating to Aizawa the most, and realizing that it’s because I’m getting older hukjdshfaskdnfj

--> I don’t have a ship I’m the most invested in, but I like Izuku with both Todoroki and Uraraka, and I also like Uraraka with Tsuyu. Erasermic is also really good.

--> Not a fan of Eraserjoke. I don’t like the way she continues to ask Aizawa out and then plays it off as a joke when he rejects her like. Like, it’s such a high school thing to do, it’s so weird seeing two grown adults do it. Just take the L and move on, Ms. Joke. Not only is it creepy to continue asking someone out when they say no, it’s annoying to pretend that you didn’t really mean it because it makes it difficult to read you in future scenarios.

Fire Emblem Three Houses

--> Love it love it love it.

--> Like Fire Emblem has always been more of my brother’s thing, but with Awakening, Fates and Three Houses introducing easier difficulty options, I’ve found it much easier to get into the series. Like, I’m a pretty casual gamer so I’m not looking for anything too challenging most of the time.

--> Ofc I knew going in I was picking Golden Deer, and I was not disappointed. I love everyone every single student in there. The atmosphere was so chaotic, that I just knew recruiting everyone that I could to make it more so just had to be done.

--> Claude and Hilda are the best lord and “retainer” respectively, don’t @ me.

MCU

--> Uh, I haven’t really kept up with MCU stuff since Endgame (which I didn’t care for tbh). I just wanted to remind everyone that I hate Tony Stark :)

Miraculous Ladybug S3

(me @ this entire season tbh)

--> I don’t really post much about ML on this blog anymore because I ended up making a side blog (for salt mostly tbh). But in case anyone doesn’t keep up with what happens over there, I basically hated this entire season lol.

--> Ok, I loved Silencer. Best episode in the season period, no questions asked. I also really liked Kwamibuster and Startrain. Desperada grew on me over time, while Bakerix was... okay, I guess. And Felix was entertaining, even if I felt that the message that they were trying to get across was forced and meant to shut the fandom up. Oblivio was good until that ending, and once Silencer came along, I quickly learned I had no use for it anyway. It being an amnesia episode did it no favors, either.

--> Just as I feared, the season revolved more around humiliating or putting Marinette in really embarrassing situations for the same of “drama”. The Puppeteer 2 is a really good example of this. And it’s upsetting, because none of this actually does anything for Marinette’s character. She’s not even allowed to breakdown or be upset about anything that goes wrong for her until the end of “Heart Hunter” and even that only lasts, like, ten seconds.

--> Also, I don’t ship the Love Square anymore. Lukanette all the way, baby.

--> Let’s be real, Marinette/Happiness should be the real OTP of the show.

--> The fact that every episode of season 4 is supposed to be as dramatic as Chat Blanc does not leave me hopeful for the future. Like, really, you’re going to use an episode in which an entire timeline’s worth of events gets erased and leaves everyone with no memories of it as the basis of your emotional impact going forward? Um, thank you, next.

Rise of Skywalker

--> Haven’t seen it and after seeing the spoilers, I don’t plan to. I really liked TFA, and was excited to see what they did with the Rey-Poe-Finn dynamic. I was not here for Kylo Ren or Reylo. I guess Finn/Rey is joining Tandre and Funn in my “missed opportunity OTPs” corner. D:

Chocolate/Zen: Warrior Within

--> OMG one of my fave movies of all time. Like I appreciate it more and more with age. It’s basically everything I want in a movie.

--> The scene where Zen discovers that her mom’s hair is falling out and she blames herself for it always gets me. Like I always forget about it, so when I see it again, I can’t help but nearly breakdown myself, because I know exactly what Zen’s thought process is without her even having to say anything. I feel just as overwhelmed as she does in the moment and nearly cry every time watching it.

--> One of the few movies that I wish actually got a sequel. Like I have so many questions that could be answered. How do Zen and Moom adjust to living in Japan? How does Zen’s father try to relate to her and Moom? Do they make any other friends? Will Zen get access to resources that will help her? Will they be further ostracized because of their status as outsiders? As someone who already struggles verbally, how will Zen adapt to living in a country that primarily speaks another language?

Pokemon SwSh

--> Multiplayer is so much fun and wayyyy more accessible than in the past imo. A bunch of people at my martial arts school would do raid battles before classes, so I would always leave to get there early and play with them. 10/10 experience, and it makes me excited to get Animal Crosssing to do the same thing.

--> But on the other hand, I feel like this game has a lot less going for it than SuMo. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it feels like too much is missing. Like I still enjoy it, but it’s more for the gameplay and less for the story. I’m also not nearly as invested in my team like I was last time (I loved my Sun team so much, I basically kept it the same for US, minus one or two changes). I’m trying to change it fits a “Psychedelic Ocean” vibe (Water/Psychic), and then do an “Earth” themed team for my Shield run but I just haven’t picked it back up since beating the game.

--> The characters were alright. I wasn’t as attached to any of the rivals like I was in SuMo. Leon is my bro though.

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spartan-officer-brasidas · 5 years

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AC Odyssey Spoilers

I really thought about not posting this because I know a lot of people disagree on a few things I’m going to say, but I decided at the end of the day, it’s my opinion and I would hope they’d respect mine just as I respect theirs. Basically these are some of my hot takes from Odyssey, plus a few arguments for Legion as opposed to Vikings.

I’ll start with the base game (which is where my opinions are different from many peoples opinions), and then I’ll do the dlc stuff. The obvious one is Odyssey is a good game, which is a fairly popular opinion because, well, it’s a really good game. Where my opinions starts to deviate is that I like it as an Assassin’s Creed. I fully understand and respect the arguments for why people don’t like it as an AC (RPG elements, combat system, etc), but at the end of the day, I think that franchises change, and that’s what makes them good. Take Fire Emblem for example, I’ve played many of the games. Past FE installments are very different from the newest ones, but the new ones are no less Fire Emblem. In fact, Awakening saved the franchise in many ways, and I think Assassin’s Creed should be viewed in a similar way. The game needs to grow and adapt with its audience, and I think that’s what they’re doing. Basically, where many people said they wouldn’t be interested in Assassin’s Creed keeping with the style of Origins/Odyssey, I absolutely would—in fact, I hope they do. They don’t necessarily need to be as RPG oriented as Odyssey (though I did like that), but having that feel of RPG is a lot of fun for the story they’re telling.

Now I’ll move onto the dlc, and for now, I’m going to skip the Legacy dlc (it’ll come up later). The Atlantis dlc. I have a lot to say about it. Overall, it was very good—I really did like playing it and I thought the story was literally amazing. Unfortunately, this post isn’t going to be every little thing I liked because that wouldn’t be super interesting. First, I think they did the setting all wrong. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it for as long as I live, but they took a really REALLY weird take on the Underworld. The biggest being that they played out the Underworld to be almost equal to Tartaros in a way, and it’s not. I dare say it never has been (historically). Tartaros is for punishing the most evil, the Underworld is for everyone else. By no means is the Underworld desirable (see Achilles’ response), but it’s not that bad per se. it’s just...nothing. It is what it is, but by making the landscape unbearable and Hades a chaotic and almost evil king, they made it seem more like a second Tartaros. Story wise, I get what they were doing and it makes sense. Chaos, order, etc, and I thought that was really neat. But I feel like it was rushed. I think the story could’ve been told a bit better if they had lumped Hades/Persephone/Underworld/Elysium into one chapter, used Olympus as another (since it’s tragically not in Greece in the game), and then Atlantis. I could continue on with my thoughts on how characterization was handled but that would make this post extremely long, so I’ll save it. I really want to talk next about the ending of the Atlantis dlc and then the implications of both dlcs/end of the game.

The very end of the Atlantis dlc was, at best, underwhelming, and at worst, a downright disappointment. I really truly do believe they had more planned for this story, but those plans got cut off and they had to just wrap it up really quickly. To be completely clear, I loved this dlc. I thought it was really interesting and fun to play, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that the ending was just not up to standard. To start, Layla and Otso Berg. What was that? There was very little build up for that, so when it happened, I didn’t really think much of it and I still don’t. But that’s the smallest of my worries. What happened with Aletheia? She just disappeared, and I know she had her issues with Layla (who didn’t), but that still doesn’t justify just dropping off the planet. We got no indication as to why she was doing this, and we didn’t get any explanation for the connection to Juno/Aita. It really feels like there was supposed to be more here. Which leads me to my next point.

There must be more to this story. We were ultimately left with more questions than answers imo. The next best thing they can do is either surprise us and give us another dlc (doubt this one will happen), or continue the story in the trilogy, which works for me because it kind of points to Ancient Rome. Here’s the logic (including Legacy dlc) (also featuring a cut because I know some people don’t care):

Ubisoft went out of their way, and in the process, managed to piss off and upset a Lot of people just to establish a connection to Origins, a game that is 100% done from what I know. They literally didn’t have to give a connection between Kassandra/Alexios and Aya, but they did. And at the expense of choice in the game. Why would they do that?

We have almost no insight on Aletheia—who she is and why she’s doing what she’s doing—and we have even less for Juno and Aita, which is...fishy. There must be more to this story (involving the Dikastes).

Kassandra has the staff! She can control its destructive power. Great! Now what? That’s it? Her story is far from over, and she just walks out of Atlantis like that? I’m not buying it, sorry.

Basically, Ancient Rome would help solve all of these (though to be fair, the 3rd point could feasibly be solved by ANY setting). By using Ancient Rome, Ubisoft can justify their destruction of choice to create a generational line between Kassandra and Aya because from there, they can connect the protagonist (or any other important character) to Aya, and use it as a story device (maybe drawing into the staff and Aletheia as well?) Sure, this could be done with a lot of settings, but not really in a way that makes a lot of sense. By keeping the third of the trilogy in the Mediterranean (and especially Rome), they can easily do this without stretching truths, simply because of how the societies of the Ancient Mediterranean interacted. The second point is the most telling of Ancient Rome because only a Mediterranean civilization would have knowledge of and truly care for the Greek/Roman/Etruscan deities. Our answers for Aletheia, Juno, and Aita could really only be answered by an Ancient Roman’s journey, unless they wanted to just throw it into a completely different setting, making the story sloppy and not really understandable, if that makes sense. Plus, it’s more like that those three and Kassandra stayed in the Mediterranean for a good while before expanding out. The three point ties into what I just said, but also, like I noted earlier, the third can we dealt with in 99% of settings, so I won’t go on about that.

#ac odyssey #ac odyssey spoilers #fate of atlantis dlc #me talking #hopefully there aren't too many grammatical errors #but oh well #long post #legacy of the first blade dlc

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vaixation · 5 years

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Why I've been gone for two weeks – Please note that this post is going to contain some serious content. However, this is a really important personal update from me.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: - Animal death - Suicide ideation - Depression/anxiety/dissociation - (Brief mention of abuse/trauma/C-PTSD)

Post under the Read More. - - -

I'm sure there's a lot of people who didn't even notice I haven't been online anywhere for the past two weeks considering I'm a pretty quiet individual and often keep to myself / disappear off the social radar for months at a time. However, there's a pretty specific reason this time why I haven't been around, and it's important to discuss.

At the time I am writing this, it is currently Friday, May 3, 2019. I'm writing this ahead of time because... I cannot sleep and I need to get some of these thoughts off my mind. This week has been the worst week of my entire life, without exaggeration. I'll start from the beginning.

For those that don't know, a tornado came through my area on April 19th. I would like to state right off the bat that I am fine - it missed my house, but only just barely. We can literally see the path / damage of the tornado from our house. Apparently it actually formed RIGHT THERE - the people who live just like three houses up the road from ours said they actually saw the tornado's funnel come down out of the sky. It's wild to think a tornado could come to life that close to our house. We were very fortunate to be okay.

I can't necessarily say the same for others, however. I don't know if anyone got hurt, but I did hear that one person's house was completely flattened. (Apparently there was actually someone inside, but she went down into the basement and was okay. Also concerning her welfare and loss of property - I heard there was a fundraiser that was helping their family out, and they apparently were on the TV at some point too about it all? That's just what I've heard through the grapevine - it's all second hand information so I don't know how much is accurate and I've no way to double-check right now.) (EDIT: I have double-checked for our area now that I have internet again and I can confirm no-one in our area was actually hurt. All the damage is to buildings and property, thankfully.) There's entire areas of trees that have just been wiped out. And I know there was a bus that literally got thrown up by the wind and is now just sticking out of the ground. Last time I saw it, they still haven't fixed that.

Point being, we lost power for a whole day. They managed to fix the power pretty quickly considering the damage, but the internet? At the time of writing this... I still don't have internet. And that's the primary reason I haven't been around. But it gets so much worse from here on out. For me at least.

So, my week was already really stressful for this reason (not to mention MY JOB requires the internet and I have NOT been able to do any of my work; my bosses know my situation but it's still very stressful.) We called our ISP multiple times trying to get it to work - they've sent out two technicians so far and narrowed it down to the modem router. It wasn't hooked up to a surge protector, and the power going out the way it did seems to have zapped the modem router and it no longer works. So we decided to buy a new one, and I swear we went to at least ten to fifteen different stores looking for a new modem router.

The problem is, all the new modem routers in stock are coaxial cable modem routers. Our ISP is only a VDSL / ADSL modem router (requiring a phone line), and we went through several stores looking for a DSL to coax adapter with no such luck. Apparently, an adapter / converter like that doesn't even exist. The closest thing we could find was an ethernet to coax cable, but that's not what we need obviously. Through some other connections we managed to finally just order a DSL modem router via Ebay; it's supposed to get here on Monday of this week, so... we'll see if it does by then, I guess.

(EDIT: It arrived sooner than expected. We’ve been able to get it up and running, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to post this, obviously.)

But, well. That's not really why this has been the worst week of my life. I mean, it doesn't help, but... I can live without the internet for a week or two, you know? I've gone years without it. Whatever.

The thing is...

My cat died.

And this wasn't just some random cat, okay. His name was Chip - or rather, Slavashado. (It's pronounced "sluh-VAAH-shuh-doe") You see, I modeled his name after T. S. Eliot's poem "The Naming of Cats." Within this poem, it states that a cat must have three names. One is a common, everyday, ordinary name. Chip. One is unique to him. Slavashado. And one, only he himself knows. And he took it to his grave.

Chip's been with me basically almost my entire life. He was 21 years old. I'm 26 right now; I'll be 27 in June. So he's literally been in my life since I was 6 years old. He's always been there for me. Always.

So I cannot possibly put into words how heartbroken I am that he's gone.

I love him with all my heart. And I always will. But he's gone now.

I can't even remotely describe how empty I feel. How utterly alone I am. There's a void in my soul that's so deep it feels like it's going to erode me from the inside out.

You know, I've never lost anyone close to me before. It's not that I'm a stranger to death... far from it. I'll get into that later. But... this is the first time I've ever truly lost someone I really, really, truly cared about. I've always thought grief would be a linear thing. I've seen the Kübler-Ross model of grief more times than I can count. "DABDA" for short - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

It's not linear. Not for me. I feel all of these things at the same time somehow. It's not like I felt denial first, then moved onto the angry stage. No. I just feel all of them at the same time. And I'm so overwhelmed. And I'll go from one end of this spectrum to the other end and back again. It's far from linear.

The sad thing is, I feel my grip on this world unraveling each day. My world already ended with Chip... He meant everything to me. I love him more than anything else in this whole world. So... I've admittedly been having some very bad, depressive, suicidal thoughts. I'm not actively going to do something to myself, don't worry. But... I've been thinking lately, you know what? If a car runs over me, I don't care. What if the storms knock a tree over on my house and it flattens me? So what. What if I'm in a car wreck and die? I just... feel so apathetic.

It's like that song. "If the silence takes you, then I hope it takes me too."

But... I can't join him. Not yet. I still have to live a full life, you know? I can't come to you yet, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I want to, but I can't. Not yet. I have to live a life that would make you proud of me, love.

Maybe we'll meet again in another life. Cats have nine lives after all...

But I've also just felt like I've started to really disconnect from reality, too. The other day someone said something - innocent, really - but the angry part of myself wanted to lash out and destroy and hurt. And the scariest thing was, I almost didn't care. Grief's not an excuse to lose your compassion, but I fear that I'm really losing it. It's hard to feel like anything's real, and somehow everything's all too real at the same time.

His health just... declined so rapidly in the last month. He went from being okay and active and about, to suddenly he can't jump anymore. Suddenly he's very lethargic and having a multitude of issues; he wouldn't be able to stand up without falling over. It got to the point where he wouldn't move around much anymore. I had to take care of him on a daily basis; almost 24/7 I'd watch him to make sure he was okay and wasn't having a hard time pooping/peeing and would wash him because he no longer had the strength to take care of himself or move anywhere or do much of anything.

I had to make a certain mixture of foods the vet prescribed to keep his nutrition levels up and to make it so he wouldn't be constipated, and had to monitor that he was eating / drinking enough. Eventually he stopped eating his food, so I ended up mixing it all in water and making it a liquid paste that he could drink instead, which he would gladly do. There were some glands on his throat that were swollen, so I think it was making it hard for him to eat even with the special food we had.

So... it both was and wasn't sudden. On one hand, it happened so fast? His health just plummeted and spiraled downhill within a few weeks. But on the other hand... he was just doing so badly. We took him to the vets multiple times and, there's really only so much that can be done. He was really old, you know? 21 is a long time for a cat to live. It's longer than most cats. I know he lived a long, good life, knowing he was well loved and cared for. And I truly did everything I could for him. I know I can't blame myself for anything, even though I tried to. I did my best, you know? But nothing lasts forever. All things one day die. It's the law of nature. And I'm no stranger to death. I know all too well this reality.

This isn't something I talk about a lot, but one of my parents was really abusive. She was really abusive to animals too. I've seen death. And horrible, traumatizing things too appalling to get into here. I've known from an early age that all things die. It's one reason I'm not... surprised. In a way, I accept that. I understand. I know.

It's why I'm a little obsessed with "morbid" themes, as others have put it. Death. Bones. Rot. Decay. (Plague flight on Flight Rising, anyone?) None of that is new to me. Finding an intrigue in it is a way of coping with it. Did you know that kids who deal with C-PTSD often recreate their trauma through play? Or fixate / obsess on the trauma somehow? That's why I literally relate so heavily to Henry from Fire Emblem: Awakening. He's the same way. He's seen animal death and cruelty. But he's also un-phased by blood and guts and everything. (He denies his trauma, but denial and even amnesia can be a big, big part of trauma. And the way he talks about his past almost sounds like he's dissociated from those feelings. I relate a lot to that too... I honestly find Henry to be very therapeutic to exploring my own feelings at times.) This is the reason I find horror and creepy content fascinating. And more often than not, it's hard to scare me. Fiction is so much less scary than the real thing.

My point is, I'm very aware of death. I'm aware of that finality. I'm aware of its permanence. Nothing I can do will ever bring my cat back. He's gone. So in a way, I accept that. And in a way, I also can't accept that answer. I miss him. I want him here with me.

In a way I'm kind of thankful that our internet wasn't working. It allowed me to attend to him in his last days without any other distractions. I spent so much time with him. And that gives me so small amount of peace, knowing that.

And I think he knew, the day he died. It was April 28th, somewhere in between 9-10 PM. I can't believe it's only been five days. It feels like an eternity without him here. But, that day, he was suddenly a lot more active than he'd been in months. He was up and walking around and came over to me and crawled up behind where I was sitting and snuggled and cuddled with me. I take comfort in the fact we shared a beautiful moment that day. Just sitting there, petting him, breathing in his wonderful scent and burying my face into his soft, warm fur. The deep purring, the soothing vibrations of his noise. I wish that moment could last a lifetime. I'm so thankful for the time I had with him though. It both feels like it was the right time - that it was meant to be - and at the same time I feel like he's left me far too soon. I miss him. I miss him so, so very much.

At least I got to hold him when he passed. I stroked his fur and cried as the last of his spasms died down. I've always feared I would find him one day and he just wouldn't wake up, so seeing him actually pass... it was scary. But it was good for me too. It brings me some small amount of closure that I could be with him in his final moments. He didn't have to die alone. For that I'm so thankful.

You deserve the best of everything, love. You were my faithful friend and companion for basically my whole life. I'll never, ever forget you.

Where are you now? Are you with the stars? Are you in my dreams? Where-ever you are, I hope you're safe. And happy. And at peace. Because I love you so, so much. And I always will. Now until the end of time, when death claims me too one day.

You know, at the start of the year, on New Year's, somehow... I knew. Somehow I knew this was going to be the year. I don't know why I did, but I just... felt it. And I promised myself, no matter what happens, I am going to make this a good year. And I will. But right now, I'm hurting. I'm hurting really bad.

Nothing lasts forever.

Not even pain. I'll be okay. But right now, I'm not.

"Whenever there is a meeting, a parting is sure to follow. However, that parting need not last forever... Whether a parting be forever or merely for a short time... That is up to you." - The Happy Mask Salesman, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

We buried him amongst some of the trees growing back behind our house. I buried him with some things - that heart pendant I used to slip into my photographs to mark them as "mine," for instance. It was a really important necklace to me. So I thought it was only appropriate that he have it. My heart belongs to him, after all. I buried him with a book that was also really sentimental to me. It's called Consider Love. The last line in the book was "Consider my love for incredible you." I signed it to Chip (Slavashado), from me (my name). I love you, sweetheart. I love you so, so much. Do you know that? I'm sure you did.

And I sang him a song, one last time. I don't know how many of you know this, but... when I was a child, my parents used to sing me a song. It became really sentimental to me because of this - memories of childhood days long past, so I sang it to him too. I modified some of the lyrics though.

"You are my sunshine, My only sunshine, You make me happy When skies are gray... You never know, dear, How much I love you... Please don't take My sunshine away.

The other night, dear, As I lay sleeping, I dreamt I held you In my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, So I hung My head and cried.

You told me once, dear, You truly loved me. And nothing else could Come between. But now you've left me, To fly to heaven, You're amongst The stars and dreams."

I wrote him a letter, drew him a little picture, and wrote down those lyrics for him too. He'll always have it with him. We put him on his bed and put all of that in a box and put that into the ground. We're planning on planting some flowers out there.

Digging a hole is so much harder than I thought it'd be. There's so many rocks and roots and the chunks of dirt can be hard to lift out of the ground. To be honest I wasn't much help though. I basically just cried the entire time. I didn't even know my face could make that shape. I've never seen my own face in such agony before, but looking in the mirror I wouldn't even recognize myself for the sorrow in my features. It's just so foreign. Alien. It's weird to me.

In a way, actually physically burying him gave me closure. In a way it just made it so much worse. I feel all sides of this grief spectrum at the same time. Acceptance. Denial. Those two things are one and the same now.

It's okay to grieve. It's normal. It's natural. But it just hurts so much.

No amount of reading about grief can really... prepare you for it.

I've cried and cried until my head hurts and my face does too. Every time I open the door to my room, it hits me all over again. There's no one here. There's no one waiting for me at home, no small face peeking at me from the top of the stairs. It's so empty here. It's so lonely. It's so unfathomably quiet. And it's just too much.

I've even gone out to visit his grave, came back inside the house, opened the room to my door, and realized - he's not here. And I was literally just at his grave. It's all the small things, you know? I miss him in so many ways, little things I've gotten used to that tell me of his existence, but that presence - it's gone. And when I'm here in this room, it's so crushingly obvious. His aura no longer flows from his position. Where he should be, there's just nothing. He's not here anymore. He never will be here again. I know that. I do. I know he's gone. But it's just... it's so weird.

He's here one day, and gone the next.

"The years now before us, Fearful and unknown. I never imagined I'd face them on my own. May these thousand winters, Swiftly pass I pray. I love you - I miss you - All these miles away..." - Lullaby for a Princess

I thought I'd have more time. I looked at the can of food I had planned to feed him the next day (and I was really excited for him to try this flavor, too) and just lost it. There's not a tomorrow. He's gone.

I found a trace of his fur on a piece of furniture, and I just started crying all over again.

I leafed through some of the few pictures I've taken of him over the years - far, far too few. And I wanted so badly to reach through the screen onto the other side, where he is. Because he's not here anymore. It's just so hard.

I want him to come back to me.

And at the same time, I don't.

It was meant to be. There's no undoing what's done. He's gone. I know that. But it doesn't change my feelings. I miss him. I love him. And I hurt. I need him. What am I going to do without you, love? You were my constant. You were always there for me, every time I've wanted to end my life. Every time I've wanted to give up. You were there. I need you. I need you so much. You've left me too soon. But I wouldn't undo a single moment. I'll cherish each one of them.

"But time is not eternal. Please make the most of your time." - The Happy Mask Salesman, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

The fact that it's not eternal is what makes life so precious. Time is what gives each and every moment and second of our lives meaning, because that's time you'll never get back.

It's time like this that I'm also thankful for all the storylines I've grown attached to. Somehow, they're really cathartic to me. And they've all taught me things that have made this easier to deal with than if I didn't have them.

Super Danganronpa 2 with its message that, to give up on life is a blasphemy unto life itself. Don't give up, or you're spitting on the beauty that life is. Even if it's hard. That's all part of what makes life beautiful and worth living.

Or Undertale. That if you could control time, rewind, redo, it'd lose all meaning. Life would be static. Unmoving. And you'd get bored. Very, very bored. You'd lose what makes you... well... you. You lose yourself.

Pandora Hearts, that undoing what's happened - even tragic - would lose the meaning of what's happening. Turning back time doesn't fix things. It destroys what you had. Be thankful for the time you have, however short. Because that's what gives each moment so much meaning.

Majora's Mask, because it teaches me that loss and grief are all a part of life. And you have to learn to move on, and let go. All things come to an end. And that's okay. When one door closes, another opens. Life moves on.

There's... well. A reason why those four storylines are my top favorite storylines. They're therapeutic to me. They help me cope with life in general, and everything I've gone through.

The day before he died, we went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant. The fortune cookie literally told me, "Opportunity is knocking on your door - answer it tomorrow."

"May be a reason why all the doors are closed So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road" - Katy Perry, "Firework"

You know that song, "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day? If I'm not mistaken, it was written after the passing of the singer's dad. And the sentiment is something I relate to. Wake me up a few months from now. I just don't want to be here right now. I'm so tired, and so very sad. There's a sorrow deep inside my soul too heavy to bear right now. I just want to sleep. I want it to be over. I don't want to deal with all of this right now. It's so much, and I'm overwhelmed.

I don't know if this factors into denial, but I've been trying to get out of the house more. Staying here just reminds me of what I've lost. I've been taking walks outside. Just anything to get my mind off of Chip. All the scents and sounds. The life that's buzzing around right now - the seasons are beginning to change into summer, and there's so many insects and birds about. Life continues on.

Somehow it's comforting to me. And somehow it's not. The more time I spend out of the house, the more I can't tell what's real anymore. The real world feels like a dream. Fake somehow. And my house just feels like a nightmare. I dread going to sleep every night. What nights haven't been restless have been filled with fear. What if I have a nightmare? What if I have a dream where he's alive? It will just break my heart all over again to wake up in the morning and realize he's not. It hits me every morning even without that, when I wake up. The sadness returns tenfold each day. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Hope seems like a concept far away.

"I'll see you laugh, I'll see you smile, I'll be with you... Just for a while.

But when the morning comes, And the sun begins to rise...

I will lose you.

Because it's just a dream, When I open up my eyes, I will...

Lose you...

I used to believe in forever. But forever's too good to be true. I've hung a wish On every star It hasn't done much good so far.

I can only dream of you, Wherever you are..." - "Wherever You Are", Winnie the Pooh

I know things are going to be okay. But today is not the day.

What's kept me going is busying myself with as much as I can. Thoughts of what I'm going to do each day. I'm taking it one hour at a time at this point. It's all I can do. Just keep going. Just a little farther. The moment I stop to unwind and take a break is when I start to unravel and remember. My thoughts always drift back to the same place somehow. He's gone. What am I supposed to do now?

Perhaps this won't make any sense. And quite honestly I don't care if it doesn't make sense to anyone else, but. Somehow... I felt like Chip has given me one last hope. He left me with something, a feeling. The day after he died, I just... I felt something. Like he was telling me that things were going to be okay, and directed my thoughts to what I should do, now that he's gone.

I want a new kitten.

I'm not replacing Chip. I can never replace him. He's one of a kind, and always will be. But when one door closes, another one opens. I need something to hold. I need something tangible, that's real, to touch, and hug, and cradle, and care for. I need something that needs ME to anchor me to this world, and give me a reason to stay. I need something that can break me out of this cycle of dissociation and ground me. And caring for another life is therapeutic. It makes me feel needed. Like I have a purpose.

Everyone needs to be loved, and to give love.

You know what's wild? The other members of my household unanimously came to the same decision without me even discussing it with them. Somehow, it feels right. I get this weird feeling Chip actually... sort of pushed our thoughts towards this. I don't know why I think that? By all logic that wouldn't be possible but then again, I truly don't think Chip was an ordinary cat at this point. He was so much more.

Do you ever have a dream, and in that dream you just know something? Without knowing why? But you know it for a fact, in that weird dream-sense? For me, that's what it's like. I just know. Even if no-one else believes me on this, I just know.

I'm not great with people. But I love cats. I've always been really good at reading their body language. And I admittedly do like kids. Whenever I go to my family reunions, I always hang out with the kids, not the adults. Their energy is so fun and invigorating. There's so much life in kids, and it makes me just a little happier to spend time with them, even if I hardcore lack social skills. I might not be great around kids, but I really try. I think my cousin’s children like to spend time with me. Their mother keeps telling me so, at least.

Point is, I love that energy. I know a kitten is going to just be energy incarnate. But I think that's what I need in my life. Something to protect and love and spoil. Something to pour all of my affection and effort into. I often feel really restless. Like the life I'm living right now isn't enough. And I'm sure a kitten would more than keep me on my toes and keep me busy. I expect many sleepless nights. I expect to be woken up like 6-7 times per night, even. But you know what? That's okay. I don't mind at all.

I got to play with some of the cats that my relatives have last time I was there and it just reminded me... how long it's been since I've played with a cat like that. My cat was too old to want to play (and I didn't want to cause him issues, he had a heart murmur and so I also didn't want to get him too excited in his old age because oh dear), so I've missed being able to manipulate toys into being a cat's "prey" and lazer pointers and have cats go nuts after it. I've really missed that. So having a kitten that loves to play? Sign me the heck up.

There's a lot of things I wanted to do with my cat, but he was just too old.

You see, I was only 6 when I got my cat. So I was a kid. And I didn't really get to like... spend money on spoiling my cat because at that age it's not like I had money? Once I turned around 20 or so I started really wanting to buy things for my cat, and show him how much I loved him by getting him nice things and toys and a cat tree and all sorts of other things. But he didn't really... like most of what I got him. And it really made me feel frustrated and sad and disappointed because I really wanted to show him how much he meant to me. But at the same time I was afraid of getting him anything because he wouldn't use most of what I'd spent my precious money on. Money doesn't grow on trees.

I understand, he was old by the time I actually had money to do things for him with. But that's all the more reason why a kitten really excites me. That dang lazer pointer I bought? I bet a kitten would love that! (I mean dang I even... bought one that has a USB stick on the end so you can recharge it because I really wanted it to last. Chip was super apathetic to the lazer pointer for the most part.) I wonder if a kitten would like that catnip treat I bought from Jackson Galaxy's shop? (In case you don't know who Jackson Galaxy is, he's a cat behaviorist and honestly knows so much about cats and their behaviors and he very clearly has a passion and great love for feline friends.)

Also that fun little cat tunnel I got my cat. He hated it. I thought he'd really like it because he liked small spaces (I used to have little boxes set up for him because of this) and also he really liked sitting on crinkly / noise-making things like plastic bags and the inside of this tunnel was super crinkly sounding. So I thought it'd be perfect. But he hecking hated that cat tunnel to the point where I almost threw it away because he would avoid it with a passion.

But I bet a kitten would love it. And that cat tree I bought! And I'm gonna get a nice squishy soft bed for him too when I get him since we buried Chip with his bed. And just. Something colorful! And lots of little toys and things! My head fills with so many ideas and plans and things I've got to prepare for for the arrival of a new kitten. I don't have one yet, but I'll get one soon.

It's the only thing right now that fills my heart with hope, and love. I want to take a new life in with me, and care for this new life to the best of my ability, and love him with all my heart. I'm gonna spoil him in toys and fun things and shower him with as much time and affection as I can. I need this. I need something to love and hold and care for. I have some really strong protective instincts, so nurturing something else - it's really therapeutic to me on so many levels.

We're going to get another black cat, just like Chip. I'm not superstitious really, but. You know what I personally think? That black cats bring you GOOD luck instead of bad luck. You're blessed by their presence when they're in your life. It's when they LEAVE you that the bad luck comes rolling in. That's why crossing a black cat's path supposedly causes you bad luck. Because now they're gone.

Plus, cats actually purr at a frequency that's been proven to heal bones and soothe. That's why cats make a really good companion for people dealing with depression, to be honest. And heck knows I have a broken heart that needs mending.

"Everything's gonna be alright, Everything's gonna be okay. It's gonna be a good, good life." - Bebe Rexha, "I'm A Mess"

#crepuscular #personal #this is a long post #but it's important

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esonetwork · 3 years

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Timestamp #223: The Doctor's Wife

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/timestamp-223-the-doctors-wife/

Timestamp #223: The Doctor's Wife

Doctor Who: The Doctor’s Wife (1 episode, s06e04, 2011)

“Where’s my thief!?”

A woman named Idris is led to a platform by “Auntie”, “Uncle”, and “Nephew”, the last of which is an Ood who drains her mind in preparation for a Time Lord’s arrival.

On the TARDIS, the Doctor, Amy, and Rory are surprised by a knock on the door. Even though they are in deep space, the shave-and-a-haircut routine reveals an emergency hypercube message for the Doctor, presumably sent by another Time Lord named the Corsair. They follow the signal contained within, dumping excess TARDIS rooms for fuel, and break through to another universe.

Almost immediately, the TARDIS goes dark. The matrix – the heart and soul of the TARDIS – has vanished. While the Doctor puzzles over where it would go, Idris awakens with an exhale of golden regeneration energy.

The travelers exit the TARDIS into a junkyard. Luckily, there’s plenty of rift energy so refueling should be easy. On the other hand, the Doctor is accosted by Idris, who presents as an insane woman calling the Time Lord her “thief”. After taking care of Idris, the Doctor turns his attention to the green-eyed Ood. After fixing the Ood’s sphere, it broadcasts a series of interwoven distress messages from various Time Lords. As Auntie and Uncle take Idris back to the House, the Doctor expresses his intrigue at the possible presence of his own people.

In the House, the asteroid is revealed to be sentient. The asteroid tells the Doctor that many TARDISes and Time Lords have come and gone, but there are no others now. The travelers explore a bit. Amy points out that the Doctor is seeking forgiveness from his people. The Doctor sends the companions back to the TARDIS in search of his sonic screwdriver. Once they arrive, the doors lock as a green mist swirls about the phone box. Meanwhile, the Doctor had his sonic the entire time. Cheeky devil.

The Doctor discovers a collection of Time Lord distress signal cubes. He realizes that Auntie and Uncle have been mended over time by the asteroid with parts of the various Time Lords, including the ouroboros-tattooed arm of the Corsair.

Knowing that Idris foretold the Doctor’s discovery, he confronts her. There he finds out that she holds the matrix. She is the personification of the TARDIS. The Doctor releases her and together they determine that House feeds on TARDISes, which it can only do if it removes the matrices first. The Doctor tries to retrieve Amy and Rory from the TARDIS, but the phone box dematerializes with the chiming of the Cloister Bell and heads back to N-Space. Unfortunately for the companions, the House has hijacked the TARDIS.

In the junkyard, Uncle and Auntie collapse as they lose their source of life. Idris herself only has a short time to live but encourages the Doctor to explore the TARDIS junkyard for a way home. When the Doctor asks what he should call her, Idris tells him (much to his chagrin) that he named her “Sexy”.

House asks why he shouldn’t just kill the humans. Rory stalls for time by suggesting that they could provide entertainment. House agrees, prompting them to run for their lives through the corridors in a series of nightmare scenarios.

As the Doctor assembles a TARDIS from spare parts, he and Idris argue. The discussion ranges from how police box doors open outward (“Pull to Open”, which actually refers to the phone compartment), how the TARDIS always takes the Doctor where he needs to go, the Time Lord’s fascination with “strays”, and how the TARDIS wanted to travel so she stole the Doctor to take her on an adventure.

With a kiss to the time rotor, the patchwork TARDIS console room dematerializes and gives chase. Idris sends “the pretty one” a set of telepathic directions to one of her old console rooms. Rory leads Amy to the archived desktop of the Ninth and Tenth Doctor’s console room. There they lower the TARDIS’s shields but are pursued by Nephew. Just in time, the patchwork console materializes in the archived console room and vaporizes the Ood, marking another one that the Doctor failed to save.

After introductions are made, Idris collapses and House muses about ways to kill the Doctor and his companions. The Doctor gives House instructions on how to get the TARDIS back to N-Space, but when House starts deleting rooms for the journey, it inadvertently invokes a failsafe that protects living things from being deleted with the rooms. As the travelers materialize in the real console room, House suggests that they should fear him since he’s killed Time Lords before and won’t hesitate to do it again.

The Doctor replies that House should fear him. He’s killed all of them.

The Doctor stalls for time as he points out the concept of trapping the matrix in a human body. The goal was to get the matrix as far as possible from the console room, but House has brought the matrix home. With her last breath, Idris releases the matrix. It swirls about and reintegrates with the TARDIS, overriding and consuming House.

As a last gift, the TARDIS speaks through Idris. She remembers the word that she’s been searching for – “alive” – and tells him the one thing she’s never been able to say: “Hello, Doctor. It’s so very very nice to meet you.” In a bright flash of light, Idris disappears, offering her final words of “I love you” to her companion.

Some time later, the Doctor installs a firewall around the matrix. Rory tells him that Idris’s final words to him were, “The only water in the forest is the river,” which she believed that they needed to know for the future. Amy and Rory ask for a new bedroom – preferably one with a double bed instead of bunk beds – since theirs was deleted. He tells them how to get there, then spends some time with the TARDIS console. He asks the ship where she wants to go, even if it’s the Eye of Orion for a little rest and relaxation.

The levers flip on their own accord. The TARDIS sets a course. Adventure awaits.

What a beautiful ride.

When I first saw this episode back in 2011, I was confused by it. The fast pace coupled with rapid-fire references lost me. This time around, however, I relished the experience. The story is well-written and plays off of each of the main characters so nicely, from the Doctor’s desire to be forgiven for his actions in the Last Great Time War to Amy and Rory’s love. The latter of which was actually sold quite well here despite my skepticism of it last season.

The core of this story is the Doctor’s relationship to the TARDIS, which is played beautifully by giving a voice to a consciousness that exists simultaneously across all time and space. The relationship is pretty much that of a married couple, and the TARDIS’s finally expressed love for her companion is one born of their mutual adventures. I love that the TARDIS has archived past console rooms – which presumably means that a blank room is simply formatted with the “desktop” file from previous iterations – and that the TARDIS already knows what rooms are coming up next.

Amusingly, Neil Gaiman has requested that the archive scene feature a classic-era console room, but the budget wasn’t available for that. So, the production team left the coral console room standing for this story. This episode was supposed to air during Series Five but was pushed to this point in time so there was quite a long production lead for it.

The Doctor’s TARDIS also is pretty explicit about the nature of other time capsules. The Time Lords have previously treated them as nothing more than machines or vehicles, but Idris refers to her dead siblings as sisters. That matches well with nautical traditions of referring to all ships as female, but also gives us insight into the culture of the TARDISes overall.

This story featured the Doctor piloting a TARDIS other than his own for the first time on screen – at this point in time, Shada had not yet been completed – and that patchwork ship was the creation of 12-year-old Susannah Leah for a Blue Peter contest, complete with safety straps on the console (hello, Timelash!). The Doctor previously traveled with only the TARDIS console in Inferno. This story was also the first one since Horror of Fang Rock to kill every character except the Doctor and the companions.

Neil Gaiman reached way back for some of the elements here. We first (and last) saw the hypercube in The War Games, last saw the TARDIS’s telepathic circuits used to mess with the companions in The Edge of Destruction, and found the Doctor rebuilding the TARDIS in both The Claws of Axos and The Horns of Nimon. Lest we forget the concept of jettisoning rooms on the TARDIS, which we’ve seen on at least three occasions (Logopolis, Castrovalva, and Paradise Towers), or the idea of tricking the villain into fixing the TARDIS (ala Frontios).

It’s obvious that he’s a fan of the show and has done his homework.

He also deliberately provided the first confirmation in the franchise mythology that Time Lords can change gender during regeneration. I covered many of the reasons why this was a brilliant and easily defensible concept when Jodie Whittaker was announced as the Thirteenth Doctor, and I still stand by it. Gaiman’s choice of the ouroboros – the snake eating its own tail, a symbol for eternity – for the Corsair’s personal emblem was a great representation of both Time Lord culture and the nature of Doctor Who.

This story is just amazing as a franchise game-changer and ode to the show’s history. To call it fantastic is an understatement, but it’s the highest choice I have.

Rating: 5/5 – “Fantastic!”

UP NEXT – Doctor Who: The Rebel Flesh and Doctor Who: The Almost People

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

#Doctor Who #Eleventh Doctor #Timestamps Project

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evaceratops · 6 years

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tag games

there are like 10000 of these in my drafts so i’m going to do them all at once in one big post, organized by who tagged me

tagged by @leopoldjamesfitz

name: eva

gender: female

height: 5′0″

sexuality: ace as heck

what image do you have as a wallpaper? fire emblem awakening cutscene screenshot

where do you see yourself in 10 years? livin the dream as a researcher at the monterey bay aquarium

if you could be anywhere right now, where? yosemite national park, or monterey

what was your coolest halloween costume? ... is it weird that i legitimately can’t think of one

last kiss: uhhh i’m assuming this is in a romantic context, so never

have you ever been stood up? this would require having been planning to go on a date in the first place, so no

what’s your favorite 90′s show? is kim possible from the 90s

favorite pair of shoes: there’s these black and gray tennis shoes that i really like

favorite fruit: cherries

stupidest thing you’ve ever done: download fire emblem heroes i legitimately forgot about chem lab once and missed the entire thing and didn’t realize until a week later

favorite book: .. you come into my house and ask me to choose One, you absolute fool,, just to spite you my answer is all 35+ books of the warriors series

colors i’m currently wearing: black, brown, denim

last band shirt i bought: 5 seconds of summer, like 2 years ago

last band i went to see live: the oh hellos!

last song i listened to: masterpiece theater III by marianas trench

lipstick or chapstick: definitely chapstick, i’ve always hated makeup

last movie i watched: pacific rim uprising

last 3 shows i watched: i think i watched a few episodes of total drama island and pretty little liars with my sister recently, and the third... probably voltron?

3 characters i identify with: arc trooper echo from star wars, ricken from fire emblem awakening, pidge from voltron

books i’m currently reading: the song of roland for my medieval history course, aaaand i’m in between the first and second books of my reread of the dawn of the clans arc of warriors

what’s your favorite song(s) to sing/hum? probably willow tree march by the paper kites

what’s your favorite flower/tree/plant? italian cypress,, and most other evergreen trees tbh

favorite colors? navy and pretty much any shade of blue/grayish-blue, dark red, gold

what do you always doodle? it varies depending on what i feel like that day but yesterday it was cats and dinosaurs

how do you take your coffee/tea? i can’t have caffeine so i don’t drink coffee at all and i rarely drink tea, but with tea i’ll use like 3 entire packets of sugar and nothing else

favorite candle scent? pine, or the ocean

sunrise or sunset? is this referring to the warriors books with those titles or the actual times of day sunset

what perfume do you wear? none

what’s your go-to dance move when you’re alone? ... i don’t even know

favorite quote? shrug emoji,, i just don’t think about this stuff i guess

favorite self care routine(s)? taking a long bath/shower and then going to bed early or reading a book i like

what color are your eyes? grayish-blue

what’s your favorite eye color on others? i’ve always thought brownish-green looks pretty cool

favorite season? why? fall/winter because i like cold weather and rainstorms

cheek, neck, or nose kisses? cheek kisses but also why aren’t forehead kisses on here

what does your happy place look like? anywhere in the sierras or along the coast of california

favorite breed of dog? i’ve always thought huskies are really pretty even though being around big dogs makes me a little nervous (i am 110% a cat person)

do you ever want to be married? if so, what colors would you pick for your wedding theme? no

cursive or print? print

favorite weather? THUNDERSTORMS.

Rules: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions.

i choose: heck, let’s go with the 3 i’ve been most into recently!

star wars | fire emblem | warriors

the first character you loved:

anakin skywalker. i still remember being indignant when ahsoka talked back to him in the tcw movie | either lissa or frederick | probably dovewing (i borrowed the fourth apprentice from a friend and read that first before going back and reading the rest of the series)

the character you never expected to love so much:

probably ezra bridger, tbh! i started watching rebels purely for ahsoka and rex and did not expect to get so attached to the ghost crew literally within the first 5 minutes of spark of rebellion | TAKUMI | ... god, it’s so hard to remember these things, the first time i read these books was so many years ago... squirrelflight, maybe?

the character you relate to the most:

echo! i used to read encyclopedias for fun as a kid so i understand his love of the reg manual | probably sumia? i don’t quite have self-esteem issues like she does but i do tend to downplay my strengths and kinda write myself off. plus we both love reading and even tend to prefer the same genres (mostly fantasy and fiction) | leafpool because i too spend a good deal of my time pretending everything is fine even if it’s not and trying to fix my mistakes,

the character you’d slap:

wat tambor | fernand | clear sky. i’ve had enough of that dude

three favorite characters (in order of preference):

anakin, kanan, rey | gaius, takumi, lissa | JAYFEATHER, lionblaze, bramblestar (if i’m being totally honest jayfeather alone is favorite characters #1 through 10 for this series i love him SO MUCH no one else even comes close)

a character you liked at first but don’t anymore:

... i don’t really care for ventress? i don’t dislike her, but i don’t seem to like her as much as everyone else does. i thought she was cool the first time i watched tcw all the way through, but now... | cherche, maybe? i don’t think i’ve ever really disliked a fire emblem character - at least not one from any of the games i’ve played - but i’m not as interested in cherche as i used to be | sorry, dovewing

a character you did not like at first but now do:

ahsoka, believe it or not. i don’t remember caring about her too much when tcw was first airing, but i really like her now | camilla | as usual i never really disliked hollyleaf but i like her more now than i did the first time i read the books

three OTPs:

anidala, kanera, ultimate rarepair™ arcmaiden | the Original Rarepair™ ricken/lissa, chrom/sumia, gaius/robin | bramblestar/squirrelflight, lionblaze/cinderheart, hollyleaf/fallen leaves (honorable mention for bluestar/oakheart bc i do love me those classic and tragic Forbidden Relationships but hollyleaf falling in love with a literal ghost is just too good of a concept and is therefore slightly higher in the rankings)

tagged by @minhoruns

rules: bold your aspirations!

AIR: I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE: I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans and overalls • I play an organized sport • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER: I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past noon most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors and words

EARTH: I wear glasses • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian or vegan • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

rules: spell your url out with song titles

exeunt - the oh hellos viva la vida - coldplay anna sun - walk the moon caves - haux earth - sleeping at last red hands - walk off the earth all the right moves - onerepublic the royal we - silversun pickups ophelia - the lumineers pompeii - bastille stay frosty royal milk tea - fall out boy

tagged by @autisticpadme

rules: list the top ten songs you’ve been listening to lately

masterpiece theater III (by marianas trench), willow tree march (by the paper kites), 3. wake up (by arcade fire), valley - reprise (by the oh hellos), you of the light (from the fire emblem: fates soundtrack), the royal we (by silversun pickups), the last of the real ones (by fall out boy), alight (storm) (from the fire emblem: fates soundtrack), where is your rider (by the oh hellos), enishi (from the fire emblem: fates soundtrack)

#about me #tag games

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sage-nebula · 5 years

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HOO boy, major Fire Emblem: Three Houses spoilers (at least for the Black Eagles route) ahead. If you haven’t played past chapter eleven of part one, you don’t want to read anything beneath the cut.

But if you have, OH BOY.

So, as is obvious by what I typed above, I’m playing the Black Eagles route. And oh boy. I’d heard rumblings of Edelgard being a “traitor” (and other unfavorable words) around the internet, but I tried to avoid the spoilers as much as I could, especially because I wanted to marry her at the first opportunity and thus did not want to hear a word against my beautiful future wife. Nevertheless, it became apparent to me a decent amount of time before the reveal that Edelgard was the Flame Emperor, and thus was the one who was working with Solon and Kronya (“Monica”) and therefore in league with the ones who murdered my (well, Byleth’s, but still) father. This, even more than Edelgard telling Dorothea that there was nothing resembling romance in her life despite the fact that I spent seven straight months showering her in flowers (WHICH SHE KEPT IN HER ROOM!), taking her on tea dates, and eating almost every meal with her, put a strain on our potential relationship. I was angry with her. To be honest, I’m still kind of angry with her. I was super angry that she offered no emotional support or condolences whatsoever after Jeralt died. I was angry that she never once showed anger toward Monica/Kronya for her actions. I’m still angry that after all is said and done and I’ve chosen to defend her anyway she still hasn’t apologized for the part she played in Jeralt’s death (guilty by association, maybe, but still), because I just feel like that’s really fucking rude and not how a supportive partner should act.

But I suppose I should back up a bit.

As is obvious by both this post and other posts I’ve made, I’ve really been enjoying Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I’m pretty much addicted to it. It’s world’s better than Fates (which isn’t hard to do, but still), and to be honest I think it’s better than Awakening, too, though I haven’t beaten it and so I suppose I should reserve judgment until then. But on top of the fact that it feels like it’ll have far more replayability than Awakening (since I imagine the story will change pretty dramatically depending on which House you choose, not to mention which branches you take within the House paths, provided Blue Lions and Golden Deer have splits like Black Eagles do), but more of the characters have central plot relevance than in Awakening, and the story itself has more depth, I feel. In Awakening, at most you’d get a scene or two with recruitable characters before they faded into the background, just units and nothing more. The same was true in Fates. Sure, there were a handful that were important (if that), but usually not more than that. But in Three Houses, the students in your House (at least the ones that were originally there) show up in all the cutscenes before and after major missions. They’re important. And while you can recruit characters from other Houses that feel more like your standard units, you don’t have to, which means you’re given an opportunity to really grow attached to all the characters in your squad outside of what you make up about them in your head. This is further enhanced by the fact that you don’t only get to talk to them in supports anymore. Supports still exist, but you can also talk to them around the school, have tea parties with them, attend activities with them, have them ask you questions, and so on and so forth. You really have a chance to get to know them, which makes them feel so much more like actual characters versus pawns that you use in battle.

So in this respect Three Houses feels deeper than Awakening or Fates, but I think the plot also feels more intricate. There are so many different threads and intrigues going on to think about, and I remember at one point I was practically going crazy theorizing about what was going on (and I still have some questions, like whether or not Edelgard could also wield the Sword of the Creator since she, too, has the Crest of Flames). So far most of my theories and predictions have turned out to be accurate, though to be fair most of them have been pretty obvious if you’re paying attention. But that’s not a criticism, or a bad thing. It’s not obvious in the sense that “this feels like they wrote the story for preschool students,” it’s obvious in a way that, again, if you pay attention, the writing leads to its natural conclusion. Intelligent Systems didn’t set out to bamboozle the audience with something that came out of nowhere. So far everything has led to its logical conclusion, and I really like that, particularly in today’s storytelling climate. So as a brief rundown of predictions I had that were proven right some time after I made them:

Prediction: Rhea is unhinged / malevolent / evil, the Church of Seiros is corrupt Reasoning: Early on in the story, when it’s revealed that Lord Lonato is raising a rebellion against the Church of Seiros, Rhea sends the Black Eagles (or I suppose whatever the player decides Byleth’s House is) to go take him out. When she’s giving the mission to Byleth, she says something to the effect of, “This will be a good way to show your students what happens to those who decide to raise their blades against the church.” This is a HUGE, MASSIVE, ALARMING RED FLAG, because it demonstrated that Rhea would never, under any circumstances, even consider giving a fair trial to those who seemed to be in opposition to the church, and since the Church of Seiros holds so much power and say over all three political powers in play (and sort of over Brigid, since the Empire has Petra), that’s a huge problem. Rhea continued with this trend, stating again that she hoped the students learned their lesson once the mission was over, and similarly saying that heretics couldn’t be allowed to live when that incident with Sylvain’s brother happened. So when she revealed her true colors in the tomb and wanted Edelgard killed without even thinking to ask Edelgard why she was doing what she was doing, I wasn’t surprised at all. (Plus there’s all that business with her having something to do with Byleth’s birth and lack of a beating heart, and so on. Aside from turning into a giant beast, Rhea is just bad news.)

Prediction: Flayn is Seteth’s daughter, not his sister. Reasoning: When Flayn goes missing, Rhea stumbles over calling Flayn Seteth’s sister. Her line is something like, “We will find your . . . sister.” If Flayn was actually Seteth’s sister, she wouldn’t have hesitated, almost as if about to slip up. Flayn was too young to be his girlfriend (and it’d be weird they’d be claiming to be family anyway, if that were the case), so it became pretty obvious pretty quickly that she was actually his daughter.

Prediction: Sothis was actually the goddess the entire time. Reasoning: The crown that Sothis wears is the exact same one that Rhea, who is the archbishop of the Church of Seiros, wears. Sothis’ hair and eyes are green, which is something only the upper tiers of the Church of Seiros have in common. And lastly, everyone mysteriously avoided ever saying the goddess’ name, which they’d have no reason at all to do if it wasn’t relevant to a particular character. Therefore, when Rhea revealed that the goddess was named Sothis, it was not a surprise at all.

Prediction: Jeralt was going to die. Reasoning: Come on . . . when does the cool dad ever get to survive until the end of the story? That aside, the second he told Byleth that he had ~something important to tell her~ and that “if I die, search every inch of this room,” I knew he was going to kick the bucket. I’m way too genre savvy for that. It was still really sad, though. Sadder than Emmeryn’s death in Awakening, imo, although it didn’t feel as powerful as hers since there was no emotional battle that followed it (and we didn’t get a track for him that was nearly as emotional and beautiful as “Don’t Speak Her Name”). Also, side note, when I first started playing I was calling Rhea “Green Emmeryn,” and continued right up until she gave her “show your students what happens to those who oppose the church” line. At that point I was like, WELP, Emmeryn never would have pulled this nonsense, never mind.

Prediction: “Monica” was evil. Reasoning: A student who was kidnapped a year ago just so happens to be perfectly fine a year later? And she isn’t a playable unit? And she’s always talking secretively to Edelgard, who she’s on personal terms with for some reason without Hubert kicking up a fuss, despite having only just surfaced? Mmhm, okay. Especially since I was already starting to get suspicious of Edelgard by that point, I guessed “Monica’s” true intentions pretty quickly.

Prediction: Edelgard was the Flame Emperor. Reasoning: This one took me a little while, to be fair, but what first tipped me off about it is that when I told Edelgard that the Flame Emperor had wanted Byleth to join them, Edelgard wasn’t bothered at all by this fact. Rather than expressing relief that Byleth had said no, Edelgard instead went on about how it must be hard to trust someone who wears a mask, but that perhaps one day the Flame Emperor would reveal their true identity and Byleth would change her mind then. That made me start thinking about how Edelgard was always conveniently never around when the Flame Emperor showed up, as well as how Hubert was the one to cause a distraction that allowed the Flame Emperor to escape after the proposition. Then there was the fact that Edelgard grew upset if you said that you thought that the Flame Emperor had the same goals as Solon and the rest (EVEN THOUGH SHE ADMITS THAT’S THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION), and that she was so cozy with Monica, not sympathetic about Jeralt’s death (at least in a way that mattered), and so on and so forth. So when the time came for her announcement, unlike the rest of my students, I wasn’t shocked. I been knew. I was just mad.

That said, I do still have a couple predictions that I haven’t received answers on:

Prediction: Flayn is Saint Cethleann, and Seteth is Saint Cichol, and thus they’re both actually super, super old. Reasoning: To be honest I’m pretty positive on this one, but since it hasn’t been confirmed I can’t put it in the confirmed category yet. If you read the statue descriptions for these saints in the chapel, they sound very, very much like Flayn and Seteth, right down to being father and daughter. Flayn has Saint Cethleann’s Crest, her blood was needed for what Solon was doing, they both have a special connection to Rhea and a deep loyalty to the church, Flayn has a very archaic way of speaking, refuses to divulge her age, gets cagey whenever Cethleann is brought up, and insists that she’s older than she looks. It’s far more obvious with Flayn than it is with Seteth, but I think it’s all pretty clear. They’re the Saints, and given what Rhea’s true identity is, they might not even be human.

Prediction: Byleth is Rhea’s niece (or nephew if you’re playing as the boy Byleth---Boyleth). Reasoning: This one I’m shakier on, because I think my original prediction (that Byleth was a reincarnation of Seiros, or maybe Nemesis, but probably Serios) has been debunked by now. But every time Rhea starts to talk about Byleth’s mother’s relation to her, or Byleth’s relation to her, she’s interrupted. “Your mother was my . . .” is pretty suspicious. The fact that, after fusing with Sothis, Byleth’s hair and eyes turned green is suspicious. (But in that case, why were they blue in the first place? Jeralt’s hair and eyes certainly weren’t blue. Ah well, anime genetics.) Of course, there’s Rhea’s whole speech about how Byleth was “just another failure” and how she was going to tear out Byleth’s heart after Byleth sided with Edelgard (if the player chose that), buuuuuut I’m still going with the theory that Byleth’s mother was Rhea’s sister for the time being.

In any case, as you can see there’s a lot going on, and I think still so much more plot to go, since I haven’t even hit the timeskip yet. I’m really excited to see where the plot goes, but I think that I should explain my reasoning for why I chose to side with Edelgard first, particularly given that my feelings on the whole issue are actually rather complicated, and much more so than the game would make it seem. (Though make no mistake, I have a duplicate save file created so that when I want to play the other path I don’t have to play through all of Black Eagles up to that point again. I was smart about it lol. Also I did look up a tiny spoiler for the split and, upon learning Flayn would leave, hastily shoved as many gifts at Mercedes as possible to recruit her so that I can still have two healers lmao. GOTTA PLAN AHEAD. That said, I recruited Mercedes, my sweet sunshine son Ashe, and Sylvain all in the last month, and they were all Blue Lions, so djkslfdsfsd sorry for poaching three members of your House, Dimitri. But it had to be done, because I needed a healer, I REFUSE to let Ashe die, and Sylvain was free because I’m a woman and he reminds me of Zelos so why not. But still, sorry Dimitri, lmao.)

ANYWAY, to get back on topic . . . I was honestly pretty torn right up until the second choice came. The first choice, where Edelgard asks you to accompany her to the Empire and the game tells you that a drastic change will take place depending on your choice---that was the reason I saw that tiny spoiler about Flayn leaving, because I looked up why choosing to go on a small journey with Edelgard was so goddamn important. But even though I chose to go with her to keep the option open (because if you don’t choose to go with her then, you’re locked into siding with the church), I was still somewhat torn. I was still pretty upset that she offered no words of comfort or understanding after Jeralt’s death, that she never once apologized for trusting Monica so implicitly and always going off with her. Even if she didn’t want to reveal she knew the truth, she could have lied about that and apologized for not seeing the truth sooner. Even a sweet lie would have been better than the zero amount of warmth I received in my time of grief. Aside from that, because Edelgard was the Flame Emperor and was friends with Monica, she indirectly played a part in Jeralt’s death. All the other things that came about as a result of those machinations---Lonato’s death and how that affected Ashe, what happened to Sylvain’s brother, et cetera---that I could get past if I thought it was for a good cause, but such a personal betrayal by one I held such feelings for? I was still so very, very upset. (Also, Solon almost locked Byleth in a void forever, which led to Sothis kind of sacrificing herself, and since Sothis DID offer compassion to Byleth when Edelgard didn’t . . . hhhhh, that also made me feel frosty toward Edelgard.)

But then the moment came. The instant that the Imperial army stormed in and Edelgard ordered them to take the Crest stones (and also said to kill anyone who opposed her, like? You’re really okay with killing all of us, Edelgard? REALLY?), Rhea’s switch flipped and she started barking orders and essentially calling for Edelgard’s head on a stick. And then the battle ended, and she DID call for Edelgard’s head on the end of Byleth’s sword, talking about how she would never stand for the Empire to oppose the chuch, and so on. And in the end, that was what made me make my choice.

Because the truth is, no matter how angry I was with Edelgard, obviously I still care for her. In-game, we spent eleven months together. Yes, the past couple were a bit tense and strained, but that doesn’t change the fact that I spent eleven months---nearly a full year!---bonding with Edelgard, fighting alongside her, finding companionship with her. Byleth’s actual heart might not beat, but unlike SOME people, she still has a metaphorical one that does (or at least, I do, lmao). Maybe Edelgard didn’t have compassion for me, but that doesn’t mean I have none for her. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to hear an explanation, from her, for why she did all these things. It also doesn’t mean that it would be easy for me to just cut down someone who I grew so close to and cared so much about, simply because I was given an order. Like, honestly, what the fuck. Who could do that? How could Rhea ever expect me to do that?

But even setting that aside, I was opposed to Rhea’s methods from day one. I’m a big fan of due process. In Rhea’s world, anyone who opposes her should be cut down. (Apparently Edelgard also feels this way, even toward her own friends, but I feel like I can probably more easily reason with her than Rhea, and in any case, the remaining Black Eagles slaughtered her army, so whatever.) She didn’t give Edelgard a chance to explain, she wasn’t calling for an arrest, there wouldn’t be a trial. She just wanted Edelgard murdered, on the spot. And I can’t stand for that. I’m don’t really like organized religion anyway, but I’m definitely not going to stand for one that ruthlessly murders any who even breathe a word of opposition to it while also holding the most political power in the world. All the Church of Seiros is is religious fascism. That’s it. Her facade of being caring and compassionate is just that---a facade. She turned on Byleth immediately when I had Byleth side with Edelgard, saying that Byleth was “just another failure” (which raises even more questions all its own) and so on and so forth. She’s a tyrant, and I’m not going to follow the orders of a tyrant and kill someone without giving them a chance to defend themselves, and this goes doubly if they’re someone I care about.

That said, I do wish there was an option to give some more nuance, because if I had my way I would have made it clear that while I was going to oppose the church, that doesn’t mean I’m siding with Edelgard, either. Rather, I just want to hear what Edelgard has to say for herself, and all that she’s done. But of course that’s not an option, and anyway at this point she’s won me over again and I’m once again considering marrying her (and if not her then I’m marrying Dorothea, but we’ll see), though I still wish she’d apologize for Jeralt’s death and her callous behavior from before. I wish we’d get an on-screen explanation.

In any event, right now I’m at the part before we storm the monastary to take it down (and therefore right at the end of part one, I think). Obviously, I don’t regret my choice at all given that Edelgard has won me over again, and to be honest I’m not entirely surprised she has given that in many ways she reminds me of Lotor (before he had his character assassinated, ofc). It’s very cool to have a female character like her. I only hope her character continues to be done justice through to the end.

(And if the rumors are true and her S-Rank is No Homo’d I’m going to burn everything to the ground istfg.)

TL;DR: I’m still kind of mad at Edelgard, but I can let it go for now, especially since my ire with Edelgard in no way means I’m going to side with that unhinged monster running that wretched church, dear god.

#fire emblem: three houses #also the fact that shamir - who i also recruited btw - isn't a wlw is a goddamn crime #a fucking crime #why can't i make her my wife #it's an injustice only dwarfed by the injustice that is there are dozens of dogs and cats all over the place in this game #and we can pet *none* of them #what the *actual fuck* is #why would you do this #biggest game design flaw 0 stars #anyway #fire emblem spoilers #fire emblem three houses spoilers #fire emblem: three houses spoilers #fe3h spoilers #fe15 spoilers

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papafred · 7 years

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Fire Emblem Awakening Sorting Part 1

Alright, so I plan on doing these for all the games. Mind you, I may miss a character here and there from the games. Odds are it’s because I haven’t thought of a house for them yet. So, let’s start off with Awakening. My fiance and I thought about these for a while and did some debating. We like debating. So these are the first gen characters and Spot Passes. No future children allowed in this post. They shall be in the sequel. You may disagree with the sortings and that’s perfectly fine. We each analyze characters differently and this is pretty much just the opinion we both agreed upon. This is a long post. Do be warned! There is a TL;DR at the bottom and remember, this is just opinion.

Chrom: Gryffindor House- Chrom is reckless, but willing to go out there and fight the enemies head on to protect Ylisse. He’s usually polite and courteous, like a chivalrous knight. He’s the stereotypical good guy and this stereotype leads to several characteristics of Gryffindor being shown in Chrom. Bravery, chivalry, daring, sense of justice and an adventurous personality just to name a few. Occasionally, he could show the negative side of Gryffindor as well. Chrom can occasionally be arrogant and reckless, which are both negative traits of Gryffindor.

Frederick: Ravenclaw House- Frederick was a tough one, but we ultimately decided on Ravenclaw. He may fiercely loyal to the Ylissean royals and brave enough to fight and risk his life for them, but there were other things…Frederick has some strange quirks in his personality. He dusts people, moves pebbles, and is logical. He didn’t want to trust Robin at first, because he wanted the facts. He wasn’t jumping into a situation without knowing more. This concern shows throughout the game and so do his quirks and habits. He can also be dramatic when it comes to strange things. He thought he would die from eating bear meat. Dramatic is something that can fit into Ravenclaw house. We see Frederick as a Ravenclaw, but his tendencies can be alternated between Hufflepuff’s loyalty and hard work and Gryffindor’s bravery and chivalry.

Lissa: Hufflepuff House- Lissa is fiercely loyal to Ylisse and her family. She’s willing to work hard to show that she’s not just a delicate little flower. She works to become the perfect princess and the most common answer was nothing when she went around to ask what she could change about herself. She may be sweet, but she’ll always fight to prove her loyalty.

Robin (M): Ravenclaw House- This Robin is in Ravenclaw for his tactics in battle. He likes to plan ahead and mentally prepare himself for any changes. He’s quick witted and can change tactics on a dime. He’s a more serious Ravenclaw. He loves books as well, which is just another added bonus.

Robin (F): Ravenclaw House- Like her male counterpart, this Robin is in Ravenclaw for her intellectual abilities to plan for battles. She and the other Robin are both highly intelligent and love books. She’s quick witted, but tends to be wittier with her words. She can be serious when she needs to however!

Lon'qu: Gryffindor House- Lon'qu may be a mercenary, but he sure isn’t afraid to do the right thing. He joins the group thanks to Basilio, but he fights bravely for the good of the world. He isn’t afraid to confront his enemies and he’s chivalrous because of his aversion to hitting the ladies of the land…even in battle.

Gaius: Slytherin House- Gaius is a thief, first and foremost. In order to be a thief, you have to be cunning and resourceful, unless you’re one of the stupid ones. Gaius however, isn’t stupid. This guy has assassinated, he’s stolen possibly hundreds of times, he’s done spywork and the brat can pick your locks no matter what. He’s resourceful and hey, his ambition is to obtain candy. What a beautiful creature.

Ricken: Hufflepuff House- Ricken is a Hufflepuff because of his love for his family. He doesn’t want to worry them when he goes off to war and even tries his best to think of a way to word things without causing them worry. He also doesn’t want to kill people, because killing is usually unjust. However, he will kill opposing forces when his friends are threatened and to protect his family back home. His loyalties and fair play tend to be for humanity in general.

Maribelle: Slytherin House- She portrays herself as arrogant and not a heroic arrogant like a Gryffindor may show, but more based on pride since she has wealth. To me, for the most part, she seems like she would be a pureblood elitist. I’m not saying she would, but her attitude towards her son and her husband (depending), make her seem like a member of a Salazar Slytherin cult.

Miriel: Ravenclaw House- Miriel loves to read, but that in itself isn’t enough to get her sorted into Ravenclaw. She’s eloquent with her words, using large words as much as she can. This even makes her sound intelligent. She learns things…to learn and can come across as cold or harsh from time to time. Ravenclaw just seemed like the appropriate house for her.

Donnel: Gryffindor House- Donnel is literally capable of becoming a hero class unit. He willingly went to fight with Chrom and the Shepherds to save his village from harm. He’s courageous and is always willing to better himself to be able to protect his friends, his maw and his village. Donnel is valiant and his actions are usually for the greater good. He did what he thought was right and that was to protect his village nobly. Bless this boy. I love him.

Vaike: Gryffindor House- We decided to sort Vaike into Gryffindor house because of his arrogance with Chrom. Vaike is always trying to compete with Chrom and most of the time, it isn’t for anything other than sport. Slytherin was considered, but his ambitions are solely to beat out Chrom and become better than him. He also tends to jump right into things while Slytherins tend to think things over slightly more.

Sumia: Hufflepuff House- Sumia displays several traits of Hufflepuff house. She works hard with the Shepherds to keep Ylisse safe and to top that, well she has the standard human loyalty of Hufflepuff. She cares about people’s lives. She tries her best at everything she does. An example of this is when it took her fifteen tries (more or less) to bake a rhubarb pie for Chrom. That takes dedication and patience. Sumia, you keep being precious.

Stahl: Hufflepuff House- Stahl is the definition of modesty. He doesn’t think too highly of himself and he prefers to help his friends in their times of need. A sign of true compassion and loyalty. He adores food. Helga Hufflepuff made all the recipes for Hogwarts and I think Stahl would love to learn them all one day. His patience in battle is another trait of his that makes me think of Hufflepuff. Hufflepuffs will protect their friends and Stahl wants and does just that.

Cordelia: Ravenclaw House- Cordelia was easy. She’s a curious individual who always wants to learn more skills. She says that she hasn’t mastered any skills when she speaks to Kellam. Yet, she’s always trying to learn more and more of them. She loves learning. While speaking to Stahl she says she plays an instrument in the orchestra. This to me just seems like a Ravenclaw thing to do. Mind you, other houses can be virtuosos too, but Cordelia is firmly a Ravenclaw to us.

Nowi: Gryffindor House- Nowi is energetic, playful and mischievous. Her personality keeps her at an odd point between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, but we placed her in Gryffindor for her mischievous and bold behavior. Hufflepuff is a close second for her. She could’ve had a hat stall.

Cherche: Hufflepuff House- Cherche and her love of wyverns landed her in Hufflepuff. Cherche is also willing to help Lon'qu talk through his past. This side of her shows Hufflepuff’s acceptance. She wants to help people, not for glory like Gryffindors, but to simply…make people happy.

Henry: Ravenclaw House- Henry is the true epitome of Ravenclaw House. He’s eccentric and highly unusual. He doesn’t care that people think he’s strange. It’s who he is. He can also be quite witty. He’s obsessed with crows and death and these obsessions can found within the ranks of Ravenclaw. For ex: Ravenclaws can become obsessed with finding out what the yolk of an egg symbolizes when it falls a certain way. I’m fairly certain Henry’s curiosity about death…makes him want to learn new ways for things to die.

Gregor: Gryffindor House- We placed Gregor in Gryffindor. He wanted to protect Nowi despite her thinking he was a creep. Gregor looks out for his friends and sometimes jokes around. He jokes about not remembering a word and says flatulence instead. Okay, not quite prim and proper, but everything these days needs a good fart joke and what better house to do that than Gryffindor?

Tiki: Ravenclaw House- We threw Tiki into Ravenclaw because she is the go to manakete for wise advice. She’s been around for thousands of years and has probably built up knowledge while she’s awake. Say'ri suggests consulting with Tiki for information and advice and with Tiki’s remarkable wisdom, we felt Ravenclaw would suit her best.

Libra: Ravenclaw House- Libra is quiet, reserved, and religious... since he is a war monk. This gives him a different view on situations. It gives him a perspective from two angles: the warrior and the monk. Multiple views are something Ravenclaws love. They love to look down multiple paths to weigh out options and we think Libra would be one of those folks who internally analyzes the situation and does what’s best for himself and his group.

Sully: Slytherin House- Sully is ambitious. She’s so ambitious that she literally doesn’t want or need anyone to help her. She wants to create her story and best anyone who gets in her way. Gryffindor could fit her as well, but she tends to be more ambitious. Gryffindor however could be flipped flopped and it would still fit her, since she can be bold and reckless.

Olivia: Ravenclaw House- Olivia is in Ravenclaw because of her creative nature. Olivia is a dancer who enjoys creating dances to entertain, but she’s also incredibly shy. She has the mindset to do artsy things and one of Ravenclaw’s proud traits is creativity.

Virion: Slytherin House- Virion was placed in Slytherin because of his classy attitude. He strives on attention and while this may seem like a Gryffindor thing, Slytherins can also crave attention in different ways. He can be quite self absorbed and considering he was a noble, he probably strives to follow traditions set in place.

Tharja: Ravenclaw House- Tharja was difficult to place, but we sorted her into Ravenclaw because she just does the strangest things. Eel and liver pie is a strange combination and yet, she decided those would be the best flavors in a pie. Odd combos are notoriously Ravenclaw traits. Ravenclaws are also eccentric and strange and let's be honest, her stalking is a bit...weird.

Say'ri: Gryffindor House- Say'ri is a Gryffindor through and through. She was captured because she tried to help people and she literally placed herself in danger to do what was right. Gryffindors are all about doing what they believe is right. Her courage shines as the story progresses.

Basilio: Slytherin House- Dear old Basilio. He was a toss up between Gryffindor and Slytherin. He has a high Gryffindor tendency, but Slytherin won by just a tad. His drive to become ruler of Regna Ferox is one of his highest ambitions. He loves being leader. However, his tendencies from Gryffindor show when he goes into battle. He risks his life. Slytherin however, seems to be the perfect house for this driven ruler.

Flavia: Slytherin House- Lovely Flavia...you too may be sorted into Slytherin. While Basilio had a high Gryffindor tendency, we felt Flavia was heck of a lot more ambitious in becoming the ruling power of Regna Ferox. Her drive led her to getting Chrom and the Shepherds to help (that and they needed her help as well). While she does have Gryffindor courage and bravery, we felt that she was a bit more Slytherin than Gryffindor in comparison to Basilio.

Yen'fay: Slytherin House- Yen'fay was sorted into Slytherin primarily for his focus on tradition. Tradition is a very Slytherin thing and not only that, but his deceptive behavior toward Say'ri shows a bit of cunning in him. Mind you, he was doing it to protect Say'ri alright! It's not like he was doing it just cause he wanted to be a troll. Say'ri is part of his family, which makes her one of his own. Slytherins protect their own.

Validar: Slytherin House- Unfortunately for Slytherin, they get Validar as well. Unlike Yen'fay who used deceptive behavior to keep someone safe, Validar uses manipulative and deceptive behavior to trick Chrom and the Shepherds. This behavior shows the negative side of Slytherin. By the way, I was praying it wouldn't come down to Validar being in Slytherin, but his traits and dark ambitions set him here. I don't like when Slytherins are portrayed as all evil...because heck, Yen'fay to me, didn't seem evil in the end.

Aversa: Hufflepuff House- Aversa shows loyalty to who she feels is appropriate at the time. Mind you, I think she may be one of the few examples of a dark Hufflepuff. She works so hard to get Validar's plans into motion and those types of world altering plans take patience. Aversa has all of this. You may claim the loyalty she possesses is Slytherin based, but Slytherins tend to bump people down...Hufflepuffs will drop you all together. You can see this when she betrays Gangrel to help Validar with his plans. He wasn’t worth the effort and Validar promised a better world.

Kellam: Gryffindor House- Kellam was difficult to sort, but ultimately got placed in Gryffindor. Kellam wants to be noticed from time to time and wants to enjoy the company of his friends. He does this by protecting his friends. Sully even yells at him for protecting her, which makes me sad. His other potential house was Hufflepuff, but to me...Kellam came across as a Neville Longbottom like character and so we placed him in Gryffindor.

Panne: Hufflepuff House- Two things that Hufflepuffs are known to enjoy are animals and nature. Panne exhibits love of both. She cares for her people and wants to keep them safe. She’s loyal to them and wants only the best. She also shows loyalty to the Shepherds who want to bring about peace. Hufflepuffs are usually all about the well being of humans, animals and nature as a whole.

Anna: Slytherin House- Anna is placed in Slytherin because of her thievery. She’s a trickster...literally one up from a thief. So those items you're buying are probably stolen goods.She’s like the Jawas from Star Wars...stealing stuff to sell for a profit. These aren't the swords we're looking for Anna. If this is the case, cunning and resourcefulness come into play.

Gangrel: Slytherin House- Gangrel...is unfortunately another baddie in Slytherin, but he can be recruited with Spot Pass and tries to better himself. We placed him in Slytherin because of his cunning. He enjoys deceiving people and that isn't very nice. He tries to start a war to revive Grima and to me, this is a pretty lofty ambition. He likes to instigate things and let's face it Slytherins do a have a bad reputation for this. However, every house can start trouble.

Walhart: Gryffindor House- We have a baddie in Gryffindor this time. Walhart wanted to take over the continents to bring about "world peace", but he went about it in a totally ambitious, but incorrect way which is why he also has Slytherin tendencies. Ultimately though, his goal was for the greater good in his mind.

Emmeryn: Hufflepuff House- Emmeryn is a Hufflepuff because she puts her people first. Her loyalty to her people is shown by her attempts to keep the peace, which leads us to sort her into Hufflepuff with some Ravenclaw tendencies.

Priam: Gryffindor House- Priam is in Gryffindor because of his dedication to training. Gryffindors become passionate about good and evil and Priam wants the best out of his men to conquer evil. His intentions are in the right place. However, like everyone he has tendencies from another house. This house is Slytherin. He considers his peers his equals, which is a very Slytherin trait to have, but ultimately, Priam's bravery in battle causes Gryffindor to beat out Slytherin.

TL;DR GRYFFINDORS: Chrom, Lon'qu, Donnel, Vaike, Nowi, Gregor, Say'ri, Kellam, Walhart, and Priam

RAVENCLAWS: Frederick, Robin (M), Robin (F), Miriel, Cordelia, Henry, Tiki, Libra, Olivia and Tharja

HUFFLEPUFFS: Lissa, Ricken, Sumia, Stahl, Cherche, Aversa, Panne, and Emmeryn

SLYTHERINS: Gaius, Maribelle, Sully, Virion, Basilio, Flavia, Yen'fay, Validar, Anna, and Gangrel

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otakugeddon · 7 years

Text

Round Up

So as much as I really want to do individual posts on everything right now? Not happening. I’ve barely been getting sleep for weeks but the past few days have been awful because of my disorders and not getting much sleep because of thunderstorms. Plus my pain levels are through the roof.

So, to quote Sully from Fire Emblem: Awakening, “Quick and dirty! I like it.”

To sum up a good chunk of the last week’s Otakutivities:

#1 - Yaoi. Yaoi. More Yaoi. Where manga is concerned, since I have discovered Yaoi's sheer awesomeness, it's been all Yaoi, all week. I sooo wanna talk about each series and start reading posts by other fans of those series but we’ll see how that goes when I’m up to it. I will say, so far, my favorite series is Ten Count.

#2 - Uz-a-ma-ki Na-ru-to! Taiki & I have been finally playing catch up on Naruto: Shippuden, which is one of our favorite anime of all time. We got behind because real life blew up in our faces because of my family + the show was taking an emotional toll I couldn’t handle while dealing with major emotional damage in my life. We have been having a blast working towards the end, even through the pain. We’ve been fans (of the original Naruto anime) since before the show was ever even licensed in the US, and I realized that if we’d had a kid the same time we started watching Naruto? Said kid would be entering high school this year, lol. Our oldest furkid is named Naruto Ichigo & even though he’s very intelligent, he veeery much takes after his namesake (I’ll do a proper write up on the furdweebs later as they’ve all been geek & Otaku named). So yeah, really enjoying this.

#3 - Samurai Love Ballad Party….can kiss my fucking ass. No. Seriously. T-T So fucking behind and screwed on my Otome games but SOME FUCKING HOW I manage to stay on the ball with that mother fucker. And it’s exhausting lol. I’m basically done with Mitsuhide (last route), I just need to actually read through it (I already gathered all the points). I’ll probably try to do Kojuro again for funsies, dressers, & Energy. I’m doing his Main story at the moment & have been very surprised how much I’ve enjoyed it. I knew I’d like it as I always love event stories for Lord Kojuro but his story is very different than what I expected. At the moment, he’s definitely competing with my Lord Son of a Bitch Oda Nobunaga, Lord of Hell & my heart. Doubt he’ll win but…stranger things have happened. And if nothing else? He’ll make a strong case for 2nd place. <3

#4 - PS Vita - So even though I’ve been struggling to get my shit together in the video game department, I bought Code: Realize. I think because I really am into reading at the moment & it takes less effort than actively playing something and C:R has one of the most interesting premises I’ve heard in awhile. And sure, I have my Social Otome games, and Era of Samurai: Code of Love but it costs a pretty penny to buy all the routes in EoS (not complaining it just is fact), but I also wanted something with more bite to it than just a cool love story with extras. Plus, I’m getting ready for Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds to launch. *rubs hands maniacally*

Although, I know some Hakuoki fans may hate me for this — I prefer Okita-sensei* in Era of Samurai. He’s fairly awesome in Hakuoki but as a history buff who has researches the historical Okita-sensei, and seen dozens of portrayals, I feel they made Okita-sensei a cruel, blood thirsty, callous barbarian because he was a legendary swordsman. That’s not what historical records indicate, at all. While EVERY portrayal of the Shinsengumi takes liberties (and always will), I feel Hakuoki went too far with Okita-sensei. He’s fun enough, but I don’t think he’s a good reflection. Given, I’ll always be bias towards Kaze Hikaru’s portrayal (it’s my favorite manga of all time), forever, but there’s also a reason Kaze Hikaru had received accolades for trying so hard to really be historically accurate as much as possible. And according to the research I’ve done, EoS & Kaze Hikaru’s portrayals, while different, show they at least researched Okita-sensei & his reputation to a degree. Sure, interpretation is still a thing. But I feel like they paid more respect to the historical data available.

But anyways, I still love Hakuoki for what it is, truly. And I’m so incredibly excited to see Shinpachi-sensei’s story in Kyoto Winds, as well as the other extended stories. I won’t lie, though: I’m incredibly pissed they didn’t do Kondo-sensei. Before I even got really into Era of Samurai, the fact that they had Kondo-sensei as a viable route won me over. Because he does not get neeeearly enough love.

Yes. We know how it ends. You have to be a Gaijin playing for shits & giggles with no interest in Japanese history what-so-ever to NOT KNOW how the great Commander Kondo Isami-sensei’s story ends. But I don’t care. Sure that probably makes me a loser but I just don’t give a damn. I REALLY wanna see that portrayed in Hakuoki.

Anyways, this went on waaaay too fucking long. My arm is killing me, I still have to finish my mobile game log-in rotations and I’m freaking exhausted. Bleh.

Hopefully, tomorrow, I can really delve into a topic in a fun, cool way. I’m not going to tag everything (just some stuff) since this is just me rambling & it doesn’t delve into detail into stuff as much as I’d like.

Also, there’s some very cool Otaku-ness coming up I just can’t wait to share this coming week! <3

[*Note: I used the -sensei honorific not to be weebish or obnoxious. I used it because while they are fictional portrayals, they are portrayals of people who actually lived — who were some of the greatest swordsman to ever live, and depending on how you look at history, some of the greatest heroes to ever live. Since -sensei is used for Doctors, Professors, and Masters of different professions regardless of actually being teachers, I felt it appropriate as the heroes of the Bakamutsu period sure as hell deserve better than “-san,” in my eyes.]

#Hakuoki #shinsengumi #era of samurai: code of love #kaze hikaru #hakuoki: kyoto winds #otaku

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the-spoony-bard · 7 years

Text

A Matter of Leverage - 8

Fandom: Fire Emblem Awakening

Style: Leverage!AU; modern setting; adventure/drama

Word count: 2,635

Read on Ao3

“Done already?” Robin looks up in surprise at Nowi’s enthusiastic nods.

“Yep! The security on their database is nothing. The recordkeeping for all of the bloodlines is really organized, so this should be easy.”

“Good. All of those numbers are the forms of identification for the horses that can be scanned from microchips on a horse’s neck.”

“Ew,” Nowi shudders.

“What you need to do,” Robin soldiers on despite the interruption, “is attach a record of a fake horse from a great bloodline to Luna’s microchip number.”

“Easy peasy,” Nowi replies, bending back over the keys.

“What do we do about Luna though?” Gaius asks, sprawled out on the hotel bed with his feet by the pillows. “It’s easy enough to cover up the white spots on the outside to make him look different, but his lungs are still recovering from the fire. There’s no way he can run without that showing.”

“Ah,” Robin deflates a little, sitting heavily down on the bed. “Give me a second.”

“There’s plenty of horses here,” Lon’qu cuts in from his spot leaning against the wall. “Just use another one.”

“You mean steal another actual championship racehorse to make the first horse look like a true championship racehorse?” Robin says slowly, spinning the idea around in her head. A grin slowly spreads across her face. “That’s good. Even better, actually.”

“But what about Luna?” Nowi looks up from her laptop. “Am I still changing his microchip number?”

“Hold off on that for now. In the meantime, Gaius, I’m going to need you to take a drive to the airport. There’s some important people for you to pick up.” Robin turns her attention to the minibar where Olivia perches on top of a stool. “And Olivia?”

“Y-yes?” Olivia snaps to attention, nearly falling off the stool in the process.

“Would you mind breaking out another character?”

“Which one did you have in mind…?”

○

Swift Wing’s trainer leans against the fence, watching one of the horses nearby slowly nose along, pausing every step or so for a few mouthfuls of green grass.

“Excuse me?” a sharp voice calls out from the stable, startling him out of his thoughts.

A smartly dressed woman with a buttoned up blouse, pencil skirt, and pink hair in a bun steps out, immediately looking relieved as she catches his eye.

“Nina Walker. Would you be Swift Wing’s trainer?” she says, seizing his hand in a firm but swift handshake.

“I would,” the trainer replies, not bothering to hide his confusion. “Is there something I can help you with, or…?

“We’re all set to go whenever you’re ready, so—”

“Go? Go where?”

“Where?” Olivia repeats with a bit of a laugh. “To the interview. You are ready aren’t you? My office has been calling you all day about the interview with Sports Illustrated.”

“Calls? But I haven’t…”

“Oh yes you have,” Nowi snickers, filling the trainer’s inbox with over a dozen missed calls with only a few keystrokes. She turns to Robin with a knowing smile. “You’d be surprised how easy it is to hack into calls and voicemails. We live in the digital age—or, as I like to call it, the Nowi Age!”

“Damn,” the trainer mutters as he looks at his phone, opening up his list of missed calls. “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. I don’t know what happened.”

“Listen, the reporter’s going to be at the club by the racetrack any second now. You’d better—”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be there.”

“Thank you,” Olivia calls after him as the trainer immediately sets off. “Hopefully they aren’t late, but if they are, it would be lovely if you could wait half an hour. Maybe an hour, actually. They are taking public transit.” She puts her hand to her ear once the trainer is out of sight. “You’re clear, Lon’qu.”

Olivia nearly jumps out of her skin as Lon’qu sneaks past her silently, jogging over to the opposite stable. He takes a moment to look around before he goes inside.

“I’m on my way back now,” Gaius reports. “A little behind schedule though. This woman is taking an excessively long bathroom break.”

“And anyone see any sign of Jakob yet?”

“Clear so far,” Olivia reports nervously. “I w-would almost prefer seeing him to n-not knowing…”

“Well, he’s got his own game to play,” Robin replies easily. “Meet me back at the hotel. We can head over to the jockey club to wait for Gaius.”

“Okay,” Olivia takes a deep breath, shaking off the shadow of Jakob looming over them.

○

Olivia, as it turns out, can speak fluent Chon’sinese. After driving to the airport and picking up a couple having just flown in from Chon’sin, Gaius drove them down to the Jockey Club to leave in Robin and Olivia’s care. Robin can do nothing but smile and nod while Olivia speaks to the excited couple.

“Still no sign of Jakob?” Robin asks in an undertone as she walks away for a few moments over to where Nowi waits further down the fence of the pen.

Nowi, eager to blend in as a racegoer, sports a dress with the sort of loud pattern that Robin imagines only Nowi can love. Although Olivia’s large hat from the day before rests securely on Nowi’s head, she’s already eyeing Olivia’s newest yellow sunhat.

“Still clear,” Gaius reports.

Robin pauses, focusing on Vasto’s voice through Lon’qu’s com.

“So what is it you wanted me to come out here for?” Vasto says, clipped and snappy.

“Something that will help us both,” Lon’qu replies with the patience of a saint. “Are you familiar with the Chon’sin Jockey Club?”

“Yeah,” Vasto responds, his tone suggesting he’d like to know why it matters. “There was word going around that their president wanted to start a hedge fund for the horses. Ended up being entirely useless during that civil war they had a few years back.”

“Nine years,” Lon’qu corrects him quietly.

“Yeah, that,” Vasto doesn’t pick up the change in Lon’qu’s tone. “In the end, all six hundred horses with the best bloodlines in the world are killed, and not a single insurance payoff to show for all the trouble.”

“No.”

Vasto looks over to Lon’qu in confusion.

“Five hundred and ninety-nine horses were killed,” Lon’qu corrects him again.

“What are you talking about?”

“Look,” Lon’qu points out to the practice track right as the single horse and rider shoot off. He pulls out a stopwatch from his pocket. They watch as the horse makes quick work of the lap, hooves kicking up dirt with each powerful stride. Lon’qu holds the stopwatch out for Vasto to see the time. “This is the six hundredth horse. He’s got a time beating all the derby winners of the past decade and then some.”

Vasto watches more closely now, not bothering to disguise his interest.

“He’s called Sol Achaeus,” Lon’qu continues. “He was born just a month before the others were all slaughtered. His youth and small size gave the owners a chance to have him discreetly smuggled out of harm’s way. That’s them right there.”

Vasto eyes follow to where Lon’qu points. His eyes narrow all the more as he sees the Chon’sinese couple shaking hands with Robin and Olivia in turn.

“There could still be problems if they’re found out. The horse could be killed or forcibly removed from their custody, so the original owners are in a rush to have him sold.”

“This is Thoron’s big deal then?”

“Yeah. And she’s getting him for only a fraction of what he’s worth.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Vasto sets his jaw as he climbs into the golf cart Lon’qu drove them up in. “I want to take a closer look at that horse.”

“Sure thing.”

Lon’qu drives them over to the track where horse and rider are taking a short breather. Lon’qu flags the rider down, allowing Vasto to take a closer look. While the rider wanders off for a moment to retrieve a water bottle, leaving the horse for Lon’qu to temporarily watch, he wastes no time in pulling up the scanner as soon as he and Vasto are alone.

“Pull up the IFHA website,” Lon’qu instructs, nodding to Vasto’s phone. “They hold records for the bloodlines of every registered thoroughbred horse.” Lon’qu holds up the scanner for Vasto to read even as the device automatically reads it aloud: 6-2-5-0-1-5. “Search this number.”

Vasto whistles at the background that pops up.

“You can’t be serious,” he says, though there’s a wide smile on his face. “A descendant of Secretariat? The Secretariat?”

“If you want to start a franchise, you couldn’t find a better horse.”

Vasto’s eyes light up with figurative dollar signs as he pictures far more literal ones.

“Alright, Olivia, they’re coming to you,” Robin instructs. “Nowi, what did you find on Vasto’s investor group?”

“There’s six guys including Vasto,” Nowi pauses to push her hat back away from her eyes. “They all match Vasto at two million dollars. And here’s the icing on the cake—they put Vasto in charge.”

“Splendid,” Robin grins. “That’s twelve million dollars coming right at you, Olivia.”

Vasto makes a beeline for Olivia where she still stands by the fence with the two tourists. Lon’qu follows behind, giving a quick glance to Robin and Nowi standing further along the fence pretending to be engrossed in their own conversation.

“Mr. Vasto!” Olivia coos as they hop the fence. “How lovely to see you again. And Abel! A pleasure.”

“I need to talk to you,” Vasto says urgently.

“I’m afraid it’ll have to wait—business as usual,” Olivia laughs. “Perhaps after we get this horse safely into his new stable.”

“It’s about that,” Vasto continues, unperturbed. He looks directly at the pleasantly smiling couple. “I want to buy your horse.”

“I’m afraid you’re a little late for that,” Olivia says, halfway between amused and apologetic. “Ms. Thoron already bought this horse for eleven million dollars.”

“I can get you twelve by the end of tomorrow,” Vasto smirks.

“Oh…” Olivia glances around a moment before she turns to the couple. She says something to them that Robin—and thankfully, Vasto—can’t understand. Lon’qu clears his throat pointedly in an attempt to cover his snort of laughter. While Nowi pulls up her phone in an attempt to translate the conversation into Google, the couple both laugh, answering whatever question Olivia asked. Olivia smiles as she glances slyly over at Vasto. “If you can offer them twelve million tomorrow, then you have yourself a deal.”

“Great. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

Olivia gives him a charming smile before the woman begins speaking rather enthusiastically.

“Oh,” Olivia turns back to Vasto with a laugh. “In Chon’sin, it’s a rather common practice to take a picture as a record for a transferal of property. Would you mind terribly…?”

“Anything to cement the deal,” Vasto replies with just a little more seduction than is necessary.

“Anything to get in your pants,” Gaius breaks out his Vasto impression again.

“Gaius,” Robin coughs out in warning.

“Okay, okay,” Gaius relents. “It’s just getting boring over here.”

“Say cheese!” Olivia instructs, then snaps the picture. As the couple step away to rejoin Robin and Nowi, she shakes hands with Vasto. “I suppose we’ll see each other again tomorrow then.”

“It’s a date,” Vasto winks. He kisses Olivia’s hand before finally departing. Olivia hastily wipes at the back of her hand with a handkerchief pulled out from her pocket once he’s out of view.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road!” Nowi cheers as the couple come to a stop in front of them.

The woman hesitates, looking back over to the stable. She says a few words, leaving Nowi to look around helplessly for Olivia and Lon’qu, both still a stretch away further down the fence.

“Oh, do you need the bathroom?” Robin says at once.

“You can understand Chon’sinese?” Nowi asks, impressed.

“No. But I do know the look of someone who needs to use the bathroom.”

“Oh, right. The mom thing.” Nowi claps her hands together. “Right this way then, ma’am!”

The woman follows Nowi gratefully to the nearest bathroom.

“I’ll wait right here for you so I can lead you back to the car!” Nowi calls after her as the woman already heads inside.

She’s already digging the camera back out as she turns the corner.

“I have your camera,” she says, still in her native tongue, holding it out to the tall man in front of her.

“Ah, thank you,” Jakob responds in Chon’sinese as well, trading his camera back for a weighty stack of bills. He holds it up to view the footage. As requested, Robin and Olivia are caught on the video. The others fail to make an appearance, but Jakob shrugs it off. He smiles as he turns to the picture of Vasto between the couple, the horse in the background. “You’ve done wonderfully.”

“Thank you!” the woman chirps, then turns around to rejoin Nowi outside.

Jakob smiles to himself.

○

Robin sits alone in the dark of one of Jockey Club rooms, only a single dim lamp in the corner providing any light. Something told her by Olivia’s discreet glances that she intended to inquire about Robin’s feelings as soon as they both returned to the hotel, and Robin had no intention to do so if she could avoid it. The bourbon doesn’t even burn anymore as it washes down her throat, blurring the memory of last night’s recurring nightmare.

Robin doesn’t even look up when the door opens.

“You’re still drinking, I see,” Jakob notes, walking in leisurely. “Old habits, I suppose.”

Robin takes another pointed sip.

“You drank yourself out of a job, out of a comfortable house, a happy marriage…”

“Keep going,” Robin says, her voice flat. “I’m sure there’s a point somewhere that you’re getting to.”

“It just seems a shame, considering how much you didn’t want to become your father.”

“I’m not perfect, but I’m hardly my father,” Robin replies, the edge in her voice softened by the last few glasses of bourbon. Still, she’s grateful that she’s at least not slurring.

“Really?” Jakob asks incredulously, unconvinced. “Look at yourself. You’ve become a common criminal.”

“Common?” Robin repeats. “That’s cold of you, Jakob.”

“I spoke to my client tonight,” Jakob says conversationally as Robin takes another long sip. “Would you like to know what I told him?”

“I already do. You didn’t tell him anything. And why would you? You don’t have any proof on whether or not Vasto started the fire, or you’d already be gone. You care much more about the quality of your work and helping the company avoid a two million dollar payout than sticking it to me.”

Jakob watches Robin silently as she rises from her chair, setting her glass on the desk off to the side. She crosses her arms over her chest as she looks him in the eyes.

“No, I figure you’re going to do what you always do—what I always did. Give the client just enough rope, and only just, to let him hang himself.”

“Don’t be so sure, Robin. This time the rope just might have room for two.”

Jakob leaves without a backward glance. Robin eyes the last of the bourbon a moment longer before she tears herself away. If she lets herself get too smashed to walk back to the hotel Olivia will take it upon herself to become Robin’s personal therapist. Throwing her coat, sloppily on over her shoulders, Robin trudges out. By the time she finally makes it to the hotel, exhaustion settles in. Robin prefers that. If she’s too tired, she can’t seem to get caught in the same dreams.

#fire emblem awakening #fea #fire emblem #fire emblem fanfiction #Robin #adventure #A Matter of Leverage

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