#also as a reminder just cause i have jumped fandoms- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-star-that-burns-brightly · 8 days

Text

CH2-13 Thoughts + CH2-14 Predictions

Hello DRDT Fandom! CH2-13 came out about four or so days ago as I'm posting this, and I finally mustered up the energy and mental strength to write down my overall thoughts, and also general predictions for what I think is to come in the next episode. A lot happened in this episode and we have a lot to cover, so let's get started! Before we do though, I think I should give us a reminder of where we currently are in terms of the swear chart and the bingo card, as of CH2-12 Swear Statistics

Bingo Card

Just like the last post, I'll be separating my talking points into character categories, so let's jump straight in with the big man himself...

Levi

Quick Disclaimer: I myself am still trying to unlearn the mindset that having low or no empathy is in any way a moral failing. If I say anything wrong or rude, please politely correct me. Remember kids: Your feelings, thoughts, and emotions, what you feel and how you feel them if you do at all, do not have any moral weight, they are simply aspects of your brain and you cannot control your brain. The only thing that has moral weight is your actions.

So as we learned in the previous episode, Levi has the murderer secret! And as we learn in this episode, he apparently killed four people, one of which being his father. DRDT continues to take Danganronpa's standard tropes and incorporating them in unique ways, in this case Levi represents the trope of the Chapter 2 Serial Killer reveal (Genocide Jack, Peko, Maki). I love that DRDT keeps doing this and I hope it keeps it up You know what else is staying consistent, though?

(x) Levi: That incident happened when I was in my junior year of high school. Levi: My junior year was also the year that Hope's Peak scouted me as the Ultimate Personal Stylist. Levi: To my understanding, it would've reflected poorly on Hope's Peak to recruit a murderer, so they pressured the court into not pressing charges.

US-HPA being morally corrupt as all fuck, that's what! Like no, seriously, it makes more and more sense as for why Xander David and Mai were most likely forming a revolution against this damn place, cause wow. The choice to scout out Levi during his Junior Year, when he was still in high school, is...interesting. Given that this Hope's Peak takes in College-aged students, why not just wait until Levi has graduated high school? In fact, that probably would've been even better because by then Levi definitely would've perfected his skills in styling by then, and thus would further justify him being enrolled in the academy. We don't know whether or not Levi was scouted before or after his incident, but given how Levi explains the events, I'm willing to bet this was after. Which...makes thing especially strange. But I'm sure it's no big deal. I mean, it's not like we have any evidence of US-HPA preying on vulnerable childre--

(x) Min: The Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students was made for a very specific target audience. Min: Those children who had no talents, who would consider spending their entire lives preparing for one single test for even a chance to become an Ultimate...

Oh. Well isn't that funny, huh?

Part of Hope's Peak's branding in general is the promise of a better future, which is something that Levi clearly wants. So I can most definitely see why the idea of being enrolled in the academy appealed to him. Levi being a delinquent in his teenage years definitely tracks, given how we know that his family was full of bad influences (including himself more than likely). And I am absolutely not surprised that Levi ended up killing his father. I think a lot of us theorized for a while that the person he killed was linked to his family.

I'd absolutely adore to learn more about Levi's family situation and what exactly their relationship with each other was, because "We were bad influences on each other" can mean a lot of things. Given the fact that not even the police cared about the death of Levi's father, I'd be pretty willing to believe that Mr. Fontana is a wanted man who has done a lot of criminal harm to others. That might even be where Levi formed the mindset that people are defined by their actions. Maybe, that's my best guess and it doesn't even include his mother and brothers, lmao. Anyway, that's enough of Murder, Corruption, and Daddy Issues. Let's talk about the other thing that was revealed about Levi this episode, or more-so put into words. His low, if zero empathy. Firstly, those who are headcannoning Levi is ASPD, I see you and I love you. So much. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that my first thought upon watching this scene was "Levi is so Autismcoded" lmao But in all seriousness, I absolutely adore this side of his character. In general something I've always loved about Levi is the fact that he, to put it bluntly, does not know how to act. He's constantly seeing what others do and copying them, and asking them for guidance when he doesn't know what to do. His first appearance shows him using Xander and Teruko's appearances to wager what kind of person they are, which is more than likely how he got into styling in the first place. He's basically masking and trying to appear as what he views as normal because he's aware that his lack of empathy is not something most humans possess. And his actions reflect that of what he thinks a good person would do in these scenarios, whether that be your friends not inviting you to an event, or someone profusely bleeding from their neck. To put it in simple terms: He's masking. I love that. It really reminds me of the experiences had by my neurodivergent friends, and even though Levi is not canonically neurodivergent, the fact that so many people headcannon him with ASPD or Autism really goes to show how DT-Dev nailed that kind of experience, and how well they wrote Levi's low empathy in general. Well-done, DT-Dev :D ...Also I think it's safe to say that Accomplice!Levi is not happening. Damn it, I really liked that theory lmao.

Ace

[not even three minutes later]

...See, this is why I always believed Ace was telling the truth about David and Arei's conversation, because wow this man is competing with the former in the Shitty Liar Olympics.

If Ace's sense of security around Levi wasn't already shattered, it sure as hell is now. Which is very upsetting to see, but also very entertaining to me as an aficionado of toxic yaoi. I was never really an Acevi girl, it was just never something I was attracted to (probably because for a majority of CH2 Part 1's airing I really didn't like Ace lmao), but this combined with the Other Thing I'll talk about later has definitely sold me on it. I hope they get worse.

I can't remember what post it was, but I remember seeing someone talk about Ace very much projecting a friendship onto Levi that was never really there between them, and looking back, I absolutely agree. I mean, where the two of them really friends? I do think that Levi does, or did, genuinely like Ace. I don't think he would've been hanging around him in Chapter 1 if he didn't. But it was simply just that, he liked Ace. Ace loved Levi, and saw him as his lifeboat in the midst of this scary unfamiliar situation. Even if everyone else either was annoyed by or straight-up disliked Ace, even if he could die at any moment, he could still rely on Levi as a presence of safety and security, but that all came crumbling down.

ace can you please change your sprite

The fact that Ace, the man famous for jumping to conclusions, not thinking anything through or in depth, and switching his opinions on others on a dime, is even asking for Levi's defense at all, is proof enough to me that even after everything Ace still wanted to cling onto the fantasy of their friendship he had built up in his mind. But upon hearing that Levi never cared about what happened to him, he can no longer do so. ...And why do I think Ace got attached to Levi so quickly?

(x) Ace: I was totally right all along to burn our friendship--No, I can't even call it it "Friendship." Ace: There's only one person in my whole life who I've ever been able to call my friend. That I ever thought, even for just a short time, that you and I were "friends" is an insult to his memory.

Yeah it's time to talk about this.

So for those who are not in the know, DT-Dev confirmed in a now-deleted ask that this friend of Ace's is named Taylor Riley.

(thank you to @/nicohakobyan / weightedblankett on twitter for providing this screenshot)

We know very little about this man other than his name, his gender, the fact that he was Ace's friend, and that he's dead. We don't actually know that fourth one, but I think "insult to his memory" speaks for itself lmao. As such, we do not know the details of his relationship with Ace... But I've made more out of less before, so let's get to talking. Here's what I think:

I think that Taylor was a presence in Ace's life much similar to how Levi was to him in Chapter 1: A strong protective figure that helped to make the scared-of-everything Ace feel a sense of safety. And then some form of incident happened that resulted in Taylor's death, leaving Ace alone, heartbroken, bitter, and terrified. That sense of security he once had was ripped away from him, and without Taylor, he doesn't know what to do with himself anymore.

And then in the killing game, he meets Levi, who provides him with a similar feeling of safety. Immediately he begins to project the memory of Taylor onto Levi and as such becomes attached, quickly considering Levi a friend because of it. And I'm not entirely pulling this idea that Ace was projecting Taylor onto Levi out of my ass, either.

Ace: dark blue/purple (reasoning: refuses to provide reasoning)

When we first got this answer, most people assumed this was referring to Levi, but I honestly think it is more likely that this is referring to Taylor. But those colors are still part of Levi's design, which automatically sets up a parallel between both Levi and Taylor Ace projected his relationship and the memory of Taylor onto a man he barely knew, and when that man lost his patience with him, his fantasy was swiftly kicked with the steel-toed shoe of reality. Hell, Ace's reaction after Levi snapped at him may had been due to his illusion of safety crumbling beneath him, but going down the road of this theory, Levi snapping at him might've been the first time Ace truly saw Levi and not Taylor. He had been giving this man a script and a role to play, and Levi responded by tearing up the paper and telling him to fuck off. In a sense, you could say that in that moment, Ace lost Taylor a second time.

Since I don't think Ace is going to be the killer as he was knocked out and thus did not have any knowledge of the murder mechanism (at least not including the theory that he tried to kill himself, which... Is a possibility, but I don't think that's the case). And if he does live past his chapter, I honestly think Chapter 3 will mark his breaking point. Any fantasy of Levi that he was clinging onto with his pinky has now shattered into pieces ten times over, the person who tried to kill him is still alive and for all he knows, could do it again whenever the hell they want to and people will take their side over his own. Next to no one in the cast likes him and they make that explicitly clear, and worse of all, he will still be trapped in this godforsaken...whatever facility this place is meant to be. So to cap off this section that got way too long, Ace Trauma Dump is on my Chapter 3 bingo card, and if we get to see Taylor and his design includes dark blue and purple I will actually become spaghettified. Please survive Ace, you are finally starting to become not C-Tier

Hu and Veronika

Lumping these two together because I have about the same amount to say about both of them and their secrets were revealed together. Hu's secret is the Hopeless Child one, and Veronika's is the Self Harm one. I think after CH2 Part 1 most of us predicted as such, but it's still very satisfying to be right. What I'm more interested is this supposed pact that they made off-screen. I have to assume that Veronika went to Hu pretty quickly to reveal her secret to her given her general disinterest in topics of suicide and self harm. So I'd wager this pact was probably made at around CH2-5. Not that that really tells us much about the actual conversation, but it's nice to have a time-frame for reference.

I don't expect the actual conversation to be shown because from what we currently have it doesn't really add much of anything, but it would definitely be cool.

(x) Hu: I've been quite selfish this whole time, keeping my secret because I didn't want you all to think less of me...

I've said this before in this post, but I absolutely believe that David eventually coaxed and pressured Hu into revealing her secret to him, as well as why she kept it for so long. And I also think David implanted, or I guess more accurately watered the seed in Hu's head that she was inherently selfish for not sharing her secret. That, I think we would benefit from a flashback, but maybe I'm just biased because I desperately want Hu lore. Please DT-Dev, I'm on my knees Hmm... what else?

(x) Veronika: After all, my own so-called secret isn't even the worst thing I've done. Isn't that so utterly disappointing for this motive?

Oh yeah there's that. What the fuck, Veronika? Like, I feel like this is something I should've expected this, but for some reason I didn't. I'll be honest here, I really have nothing right now. But whatever Veronika is referring to here, I feel like it has something to do with her 'dearest friend' mentioned in the CH2 Q&A (who's name is Alyssa Belyaeva.) What Veronika actually did? I do not have the slightest clue, you can never know with this girl. But no matter what she did, I will probably love her even more for it. Glad that DT-Dev seems to agree with the precedence of supporting women's wrongs.

Teruko

...So I'm glad to see we're all in agreement that that is not her fucking secret. I mean, I'm sure it applies to her. She is an orphan, her parents are out of the picture, and though we don't know the whereabouts of her brother and neither does she, she most likely assumes he's dead as well. But honestly, given the fact that again this is not her fucking secret, I'm starting to wonder if that's really the case... Can Teacher Tawaki theory still live on? I'll save that for another post.

Anyway what was I talking about? Oh yeah, that is not her fucking secret.

And this little bitch knows that for a fact.

I won't go too deep into this because there have already been people discussing it better than I could, but this silent agreement the two of them have to not share Teruko's true secret is so palpable and interesting to me. David knows that Teruko's secret isn't that, but for whatever reason, he is keeping his mouth shut. And he just gives Teruko that shit-eating smirk. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Teruvid? I fucking love Teruvid. But yeah, I still think 100% that Teruko's secret is that the killing game is all her fault. It just does not make sense for Xander and Min's secrets to belong to anyone other than each other as they are dead. And in general it just makes sense for Teruko's character and her role in the story. And I can't help but feel like Teruko's actual secret will be revealed at the end of the Chapter.

Eden

... I mean. Do I really need to say more? I swear I made this exact joke in the previous thoughts post, but I can't help it. It applies perfectly to this CG. When this CG, this fucking JUMPSCARE of a CG, popped up on my screen, I'm pretty sure I ran around in a circle screaming in my room for a total of ten minutes. The first of two times I would do that during this masterfully crafted scene. I want to think of some kind of insightful analysis, but the truth is basically in your face. Eden was the one who gouged out Xander's eye. Why did she do it? Where does this fit into the overall lore? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW What the fuck am I supposed to say? This CG is basically all we have, and we'll definitely have to wait for more information. Especially since Eden is totally the culprit, but we'll get to that in the predictions section. (yeah if you can't tell my writing juice is starting to run out, but if I get this out any later than today I will kill myself)

David

(...for a scumbag, he's kinda cute.) So first of all, David is slowly becoming the funniest character in the cast in my opinion, which is a huge achievement in a cast full of very funny characters. And in general I think as a character he perfectly captures DRDT's general tone of half-and-half both silliness and angst, like yin and yang. Secondly though, the big thing that David did in this chapter (besides keeping Teruko's secret and being funny) is lying to Eden about the rest of the conversation he had with Arei. Ultimately, I think David himself saw that action as a good deed.

Think of it from his perspective: This is a man who has had hope and change presented to him on a silver platter multiple times, and then had it violently ripped away from him. And the most recent example of that, Arei, presented him with a better future and the possibility of change only to be killed upon trying to act on said change. If he told Eden that Arei still had hope, that she still wanted to change, it would aspire Eden with that same hope that in his eyes is destined to crash down on her. So instead of inflicting that same pain onto her, he instead chose to say nothing at all Maybe I'm giving David too much credit, what he did was still at the end of the day, incredibly dickish. But that interpretation is what makes the most sense to me personally. That's all I really have to say in regards to David... So, let's move onto what was, in my opinion, the star of this week's episode.

Arei

Arei Nageishi.... Ohhhh save me Arei Nageishi.... Arei was already one of my favorite characters in the cast due to her personality, design, voice acting, and most of all the character development she had throughout the course of Chapter 2. But this episode, this scene... It cemented her a well-earned spot in my top four, sitting only behind Whit, Teruko, and David.

The flashback scene of Arei and David in this episode is honestly up there with some of the best scenes in the whole show to me, almost solely because of how it caps off Arei as a character postmortem, and the story that she, along with Chapter 2 as a whole, is meant to tell. This whole chapter has been themed around the idea of what classifies a good person, and this flashback scene provides such a great payoff to that theme and it is everything I could've ever wished for. The message I got from Arei's story is that, ultimately, the idea of a "Good Person" and a "Bad Person" are nothing more than just that. Ideas. And in being ideas, they are above anything else, arbitrary, subjective, and at the end of the day, incredibly meaningless when it comes to discussing actual human beings. Insistence on categorizing yourself and the people around you into boxes of "pure saint that can do no wrong" and "irredeemable demon who will burn in the pits of hell" is a fast track to viewing a complicated, colorful world into a few shades of black and white. That's how David views the world, and has viewed the world probably for years. And I'm going to be honest and say that I think before being confronted with the truth of David's actions, Arei was heading right down the same path that he had headed.

(x) Arei: Of course I wanted to change myself. Who wants to be a grab-bag of negative personality traits? There's not even anything positive you could say about me. Arei: Still, for the longest time, I thought it was stupid to even try. I'm rotten to the core, and I might as well be a different species from saints like Eden and you. Arei: A pig never hopes to grow up into a human, because it knows that such a metamorphosis is impossible.

And this is the line that really, really makes me think that. She calls David and Eden saints because (up until this moment) she viewed both of them as the ideal of what makes a good person, similar to how David views Xander. And on the contrast, claims herself to be rotten to the core, ontologically evil with no redemption in sight. She's even performing David's habit of self-dehumanization, likening herself to a pig in the same way David likens himself to a cat in the LGI video, which goes to show how this mindset of black-and-white is, above all else, a dehumanizing view on the human race that relegates people into cardboard boxes with the flaps taped shut. If she didn't find out the truth of David's actions, I am confident that she would've done down the same path that he did, becoming convinced that she will be a terrible person until the day she dies because she cannot reach this worthless standard of a good person that she has set up in her head. But we know that's not how it goes. Arei does realize that the man she once thought of as a saint might be, in his words, a lying manipulative scumbaggy piece of shit. And upon realizing that, the second half of the message unlocks itself. There is no such thing as irredeemability.

Change is a part of being human. Humans are not built to run in a hamster wheel for the rest of their days, reliving their mistakes over and over again wallowing in their self-hatred and guilt. Eventually, they have to get off the wheel and start taking the steps necessary to grow, change, develop and flourish to properly better themselves. (This applies to yourself just as much as it applies to the worst, most depraved individual you know by the way) The alternative is living in a four-by-four black box of self-loathing and relentless stagnancy, which is not productive for the person or the people they've hurt. It is only when you reject these black-and-white categories of "Good Person" and "Bad Person" and accept that no matter what you've done, you're capable of becoming better, that you can achieve true growth and change. The way this message was executed, especially through a character that dies before the halfway point of the story, is something that I marvel at as an aspiring storyteller. DRDT's beating heart will always be its character writing, and this scene is one of the primary examples of that. Thank you, DT-Dev, for making Arei Nageishi and the rest of your amazing cast of characters. :D

Extra Thoughts !!! - FURUYA FANDOM (me) THE TRACK PLAYED LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO!!! - I am very excited to find out more about Nico's attempted murder given all of the questions surrounding it. If the method of murder really was replicated, and Nico wasn't the culprit themself, you guys should take a wild guess who that implicates. (this is probably obvious by this point, but I really don't believe in the theories that suggest that someone other than Nico was responsible for Ace's attempted demise, be it Hu or Ace himself. I feel like it doesn't line up with the current narrative direction that Nico seems to be going in, the physical evidence of them stealing the turpentine, and...I'm gonna be honest, I just don't like it lmao. I'm sure DT-Dev would do it well, but just as a premise I do not favor it. Nico's attempted murder + subsequent regret from it felt like such a big moment in the chapter's narrative in relation to the themes of All That Glitters and the cast revealing sides to themself that weren't as prevalent before, as well as the themes of change and moving on from the past littered all throughout the chapter. I think if Nico's attempted murder was responsible by anyone but Nico, it would just dampen the impact of their overall story for me. That's just me though.) - WE FINALLY GOT ANOTHER NONSTOP DEBATE LETS GO BOYS!!! Nonstop debates I MISSED you - "Hey why does Whit know so much about hangi--" Look. This man is so unbelievably suspicious in every single way that for the sake of my sanity, I'm just gonna assume DT-Dev chose a random character to give the hanging explanation. It is the only way I will survive this chapter - But hey, at least we got this

- As always, I adore the new sprites we got this episode, especially Ace's new ones. It's probably the first sprite of his that actually appears emotionally vulnerable when he's not bleeding profusely from the neck. And of course, I loved David's shit-eating grin towards Teruko, I hope he never changes. - Speaking of Teruko, us getting Tutor Teruko was lovely. She is perfect, she is a little bit of everything all of the time.

(x) Whit: If you're so inclined to complain, Sir Light Pollution, why don't you try and think of some good evidence? Charles: Light pollution? Whit: You know… Cuz he had stars, and now he doesn't, and light pollution makes stars disappear… or… or… something….. Charles: I am truly impressed…by how bad that was.

- I love these dorks so much. I can tell DT-Dev has a lot of fun writing them.

- Teronika Consent animation! I guess after Acevi's Soap Opera, DT-Dev decided to feed the yuri crowd as well. Love it when we get to see those little sprite animations, too.

Predictions for CH2-14 - The episode is 40 minutes long, the longest episode we have had so far. (40 minutes of DRDT content... I'm excited just thinking about it!) Because of that, I think I will just start with my biggest prediction: I think we're getting the culprit reveal this chapter. I don't think that just because of the length either. When you really look at it, we have basically used every piece of evidence at least once with the exception of three: - The conditions of the gym (which I assume will be discussed next) - The scuffs on the ground - The ball of starchy clothes All three of those pieces of evidence I think can definitely be cleared up in the span of 40 minutes, especially since full focus is now on the murder case. I don't necessarily think the trial will end in this episode, but I think we have at least one more trial episode to go before the post-trial + execution + ending of the chapter. - And as the culprit reveal is approaching, I have formulated a tier list of who I think is least - most likely to be Arei's culprit. I will provide my reasoning for each.

No. 17/16 - Xander Matthews + Min Jeung I mean, what it says on the tin. They're dead, and thus couldn't had committed the murder. No. 15/14 - MonoTV + Arei Nageishi There are explicit rules against them being the culprit. Rule 8 and Rule 11 in particular. No. 13 - Teruko Tawaki She is the protagonist. Didn't stop Kaede, but I highly doubt that's where DT-Dev is going. No. 12 - David Chiem Other than the previous five who I've all disqualified from being the culprit, David is probably the character I suspect the least. He has an alibi for the time of the murder, getting breakfast with J and Veronika, and thematically...well, he's basically being set up as the antagonist. I don't think we'll be rid of him this early lmao. No. 11 - Charles Cuevas Charles has a fear of blood and dead bodies, and though I wouldn't say that completely disqualifies him from becoming a culprit in the future, in a case like this with such a complicated mechanism like this where he'd have to be in very close proximity with the body at all times? I highly doubt it. He also has an alibi for the fish (He was with Whit). No. 10 - J Rosales J both has an alibi for the fish (Arturo following her around), and an alibi for the morning (getting breakfast with David and Veronika), and both of those alibis can be confirmed. I don't think she did this. No. 9 - Veronika Grebenshchikova I'll be honest, I really don't see Veronika committing a murder at all. She clearly wants to see this through to the end, and killing someone would come with the risk of her being executed, which I don't think she would see as a satisfying conclusion to her story. That, combined with the fact that she has an alibi for the fish (bothering Teruko) and an alibi for the murder (getting breakfast with David and J) makes me think she didn't do this. No. 8 - Nico Hakobyan You might think it's weird to place Nico this low on the overall tier-list despite them not having an alibi for the fishes, and their morning alibi being...somewhat flimsy but I'll get to that with Hu, but here's my logic. Nico was driven to attempt murder from very specific circumstances. That being, Ace's relentless bullying and abuse towards them. Nico has said before that they'd understand murder if the perpetrator didn't like the victim, and while I don't think they exactly liked Arei, I do not think they harbor the same animosity towards her as they did towards Ace. I truly believe that Nico would only ever resort to murder if they truly despised the person in question and saw no other solution. So that is why I feel comfortable placing Nico at eighth. No. 7 - Hu Jing Hu is also another character that I think some will be surprised to see so low, but I don't think this was her doing. She has an alibi for the fish (cleaning up with Eden), and though again her alibi in the morning is very flimsy (having tea with Nico in the morning,) I do believe she is telling the truth because if she was lying about her alibi, I think the brutally blunt Nico would call her out for it. I'm sorry, I just simply cannot imagine Nico letting that shit slide regardless of how many theories I read. Not to mention I can't really think of a motive for why she would kill Arei specifically when, if she really did want to kill someone, Ace is right there. No. 6 - Whit Young Whit is supremely fucking suspicious and a lot of his behavior in the trial is literal shenanigans, even more so given the fact that he doesn't have an alibi for the actual murder. But he does have an alibi for the fish (again, he was with Charles) which is the main sticking point of Whit!Culprit. His other sticking point is his lack of motive, both in terms of the secrets and Arei specifically. I don't know like- just look at this man, do you think he did this? /joke

No. 5 - Levi Fontana The number one suspect in the fandom for a while, and he's only at number five. He ultimately lacks an alibi for the morning, and his alibi for the fish was that he was doing his laundry... With no one else around. Shady as fuck. But I think given his principles discussed in this episode ("it is a good thing to make sure someone else doesn't die"), and the genuine desire to be helpful he has expressed throughout this trial, I think him being the culprit is unlikely. That's why I was adamant on him being an accomplice for a while because I still thought he had some role in the case, but oh well. No. 4 - Rose Lacroix I'll be honest, Rose is only this high because her alibi situation is worse than Whit's and Levi's combined. Both of her alibis are that she was sleeping in her room, which cannot be proven and can be very easily lied about. But other than that, I don't think she is the culprit. I think this case requires too many physical maneuvers for someone as lethargic as Rose to pull off successfully, and if she were the culprit I don't think she'd bring attention to the missing grippy tape at all. No. 3 - Arturo Giles Arturo does have an alibi for the fish (following J), but does not have an alibi for the morning. Unlike basically every other character here, something else that puts Arturo above them is that he was capable of overhearing Eden and Arei's conversation and forging the note. But there is also a discrepancy present that is also present with every character here, and that is the fact that Arturo did not witness Nico's attempted murder or the condition of Ace's body and the gym, so there was no way he could've replicated the murder method used for Ace on Arei. So though logistically he is a more likely possibility, I don't think it was him. No. 2 - Ace Markey Ace, to me anyway, is the second most likely candidate to being Arei's killer. He does not have an alibi for the fish and could've very easily grabbed them after David and Arei left the Relaxation Room, and he doesn't have an alibi for the morning either. He has a very clear motivation for taking a chance at killing someone, of "someone literally sliced my neck open not two days ago and I know I am not safe here I need to get the fuck out." If you choose to factor in strength, Ace is one of the strongest members of the cast and would be more than capable of the physical maneuvers made to kill Arei. Though I personally don't believe in this theory, if you think Ace attempted suicide instead of Nico trying to kill him, he has the murder method down lock too because he tried to commit it onto himself. He has been shown to be nosy, so it is not improbable that he listened in on Arei and Eden's conversation. And lastly, he is one of the only two suspects who was capable of stealing the grippy tape that was used in the murder. All of the evidence is practically stacked against him... But there are a couple of problems. One, if you believe that Nico did try to kill Ace, than the point about Ace knowing the exact method of death goes out the window. He was knocked out by the turpentine, and woke up in extreme pain in a blinding fury of rage and bloodlust, I don't think his surroundings would be the first thing on his mind. But a much bigger issue we have is the question of... Why would Ace take the tape? Following this theory, his murder plan wouldn't had started until the day after Nico's attempt on his life, it would make no sense for him to take the tape then. These two sticking points are why, though a likely candidate, I do not think Ace is the culprit. That award of main suspect goes to...

No. 1 - Eden Tobisa Yeah, if you've spent any time on this account you probably know I'm an Eden!Culprit truther. There are many well-written posts about this theory that I'm sure you've seen so I'll try to keep this short, but though the theory does have a few flaws to it, the big one being Eden's alibi for the fish that she was cleaning up with Hu, I think Eden being the culprit makes the most sense from an evidence, thematic, and motive standpoint. I know some people have dropped the theory upon the fork reveal, but DRDT is not unbeknownst to killing off characters with certain mysteries left unanswered. That is basically all for my predictions related to the culprit, but I still have some predictions for the overall episode. - Nico's gonna get placed in the hot-seat, obviously, which will definitely cause a reaction out of both Hu and Ace. And I honestly feel like the two of them are going to keep interrupting Nico until they eventually snap. And I hope that happens honestly because unless you count the "I'll kill you" line, we have yet to see or hear Nico when they're actually angry angry. Nico obviously doesn't like conflict, but they might have to get over that if they actually want to defend themself knowing the other two. - I'm still holding out hope we'll get a Random Guess segment lmao - And lastly: I need Whit to break the forth wall at least once I didn't put that on the bingo card for fucking NOTHING

Conclusion I'm gonna be completely honest, I do not have the energy to write anymore and I just want this out lmao. But overall, this was one of my favorite episodes in the whole series. I loved the Levi and Ace stuff, I like that we now have all the secrets, and like I said, the scene with Arei is probably one of my favorite scenes in the show. CH2-14 is going to be a wild ride I can already tell, and if we do find out who the killer is, you will see me screaming. Regardless of if it's Eden lmao.

UPDATED SWEAR STATISTICS CH2-13

UPDATED BINGO CARD

#finally....finally its done...haha...ITS FINALLY DONE!!! /ref #desperately hoping at least one of you gets where that's from #this took way longer than it needed to because I have been in a creativity rut this last week and it has been fucking my ass #that and there was so much to discuss with this episode compared to the last one #but its done. hopefully ch2-14 post wont take me too long #hopefully #danganronpa despair time #drdt

59 notes · View notes

eroticcannibal · 3 months

Text

I really need people to understand that being a powerful, outspoken terf does not make someone entirely responsible for a hate movement.

If Rowling had never existed, nothing would be different for trans people in the UK right now. Transphobia is a systemic issue, not a personal failing on the part of one person.

(I also find it very interesting that the people who tend to go hardest on "Rowling is to blame for everything and therefore Rowling should be the target of all activism" are generally american, when its *american politics* that have had the biggest influence, politically and financially)

You can't just defeat the big bad terf and fix everything. She jumped on a bandwagon to stay relevant. She is the symptom, not the cause. Focusing so hard on "who i can yell at online" activism is just going to fuck us over. You need to actually do REAL activism.

(And yes I will remind you again, you are wasting time and energy getting into fandom fights with Harry potter fans. That doesnt fucking matter. The immediate suffering of trans people is what matters. Trans people are dying and NONE OF THEM would have been saved by someone not having Harry potter house in bio. Do something that matters.)

#word of god

91 notes · View notes

domtheforestgnome · 6 months

Text

Some moments in season 3 of Young Royals that stand out for me ep.3

The day went on, I came back from work, recorded and sent my audition video for singing competition so I'm ready for another rewatch of episode 3, season 3. Let's go!

My posts about previous episodes are here and here

Simon telling Linda what she needs to hear

I mean - this is another unspoken fact most of us could see in season 1 and 2- Simon protect his mom and Sara for no matter what cost. We saw it with the bill from school after he took some extra lessons, we hear it now straight up from Simon.

Satisfying.

2. Running?

That was somehow a surprise for me. Like... he runs? Princes do that?!?!?! Kidding. But I immediately compared it to August's way of handling things... So... Wille is actually trying to help himself...? Wille why don't you go talk to Boris?

3. Safety first

Simon wearing helmet while going with Rosh and ayub on scooters. Finally.

4. Simon crying

I couldn't breathe. My friends needed to remind me to breathe. The way Wille diminished the comments meaning and left Simon alone with all that was just heartbreaking.

5. School Inspectorate arrival

I mean it's about the music again. My friend was like "what is it with this music!?", and another one screamed "what? the school inspectors are here! What is it you don't understand!?". And it has such a Skam vibe. I feel like this season is the most Skamlike of them all. What do you think?

6. Wilmon kissing on the piano.

Iconic. Very classic. I'm glad we have something like this scene with a gay couple. And it's so cool that this gay couple happened to be Wilmon.

Also Simon's hand, pulling Wilhelm down with him. Ooh!

7. Poppe!

I was just happy I see him again <3 But also, it was so good to see him there for Felice. And them talk.

Also, I don't know what is it with those fathers, but I could find some of my father in Micke and Poppe this season and that really warmed my heart.

8. THOSE HANDS?!

I felt like I shouldn't look. AND NOONE WARNED ME! Like really...

Why so fvcking hot gay?

9. Valborg

The music, the fire. As my friend said: Swedes are freaking wizards.

10. This moment

The whole sequence. Bottom Wille. But this moment. It makes me feel like I'm gonna pass out bc of the amount of electricity in this scene. But this exact moment is my favourite.

11. Micke

Heart attack. this is what this series does really good. Makes you feel what the character feels. I thought I will jump out of my body.

12. Simon sharing photo from 1st May

Like, after all of this... He's there, it's already ok. Why sharing it and causing more attention... Siiimoooon.

Yikes...

I laughed hard though... It turned out so wrong xDDDD

13. The end of the episode

Well... I have already seen it in a trailer, but the way it came in the episode... What did you said about breathing? Oh, I forgot to continue one.

Tomorrow is the day. Oh, I'm so sad I can't be in Stockholm. But I believe in ancient spirits that walk on this earth and protect us all, so mine will go tomorrow to Stockholm to hug some people who saved me by creating Young Royals.

Goodnight, beautiful fandom!

#young royals #wilmon #simon eriksson #prince wilhelm #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #young royals season 3 #yr s3 spoilers

52 notes · View notes

ryuichirou · 4 months

Text

Replies

But also some news!

First of all, I wanted to remind you that my pricelist will be updated by the end of the week, so please feel free to message me if you want to take a slot to commission me with my current prices!

Second of all, we got our twitter account back! We ended up deleting that one post that twitter didn’t like (yes, the one that doesn’t have anything explicit or any nudity on it), which obviously sucks, but at least now we can jump back to posting more or less regularly.

And now that this situation is over, I can say about the thing that honestly tickled me: the last person who wrote a callout post on me right before our acc got locked (=the person who very likely caused the massreporting in the first place) got accused of grooming a 13 y.o. and had their account terminated the very next day. What a great illustration of how the fandom climate works, right? Hilarious.

Alright, replies replies. Some about Fellow and Gidel, some about Rook, Idia, a little bit of Lilia and some miscellaneous asks.

Anonymous asked:

wait, Fellow is it a good idea for Gidel to write?? Isn't he illiterate?? (I might be wrong on the writing part, but I'm pretty sure Gidel is said to be unable to speak because he didn't get an education :(, r.i.p to the poor boy)

But look at it, Anon! He clearly writes, and like a typical doctor as well! A highly educated man!

(Yeah, Gidel doesn’t know how to write lol I am not sure if Fellow is super literate either… just like the characters they are inspired by lol)

Anonymous asked:

I want to bite Idia’s thighs but I also want to nibble Lilia’s legs courtesy of your pic of him in those delicious Playful Land tights 😩

(this is about a sketch from ko-fi)

They really are nibbleable… nibbable… one would want to nib on them. And Lilia knows that :(

Thank you <3

irregardlessly-tish asked:

Since you started posting Fellow art I said to myself "I guess I'm watching that event now so I can look at the art and think yeah, he would totally get gang banged by them" lol

Tish! You’re great as always lol I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Fellow is so breedable it’s insane. I can’t help it.

unofficialwheatdog asked:

I'm gonna snatch Fellow away from everyone

Like that my husband, he fluffiness mine and mine alone

Mwah mwah to Fellow I wove him and the way you draw him

he's too good for them but ruined enough for me(lol me in my possessive era)

Omg real possessive era lol I get it, he really is fluffy to the point of leaving one speechless. But please understand, these boys can’t hold back at all… :( Be kinder them, they can’t help it!

I’m glad you love how I draw him <3

Anonymous asked:

Curious, u do non con/ rape art?

Pls tag if yes, I wanna see

I do, but I also don’t remember any recent noncon piece to tag anything lol I am definitely not opposed to it, and a lot of our nsfw pieces have at least dub-con vibes. I guess that one general!Lilia/Idia piece comes to mind first! And octopus!Azul/Idia that I drew for the same zine…

Maybe it would be easier to look through my pixiv logs; all the nsfw pieces are usually closer to the end of the log.

Anonymous asked:

You know I never had interest in drawing nsfw, I started a fanart blog with the intent of just making cute/cool sfw pieces maybe some ship stuff. However I am sick and tired of watching the twst fandom affect the mental health of my friends. And I know at least one of my ships will be threatened even if they just hold hands.

So here’s my plan: if I start receiving hate I will make an announcement: if I reach a particular milestone of hate I will learn to draw nsfw. I will make them kiss harder. Harass me and I will become worse.

Fr tho I want to be the brave idiot in the hope that others won’t feel alone.

Sorry for the late reply! Anon, you are already brave lol I like your plan. Become worse to spite them! And to support everyone who is harassed. And to have fun of course.

I wish you and your friends and anyone else didn’t have to worry about being harassed because of your ships. So please, take care of yourself, but also? Fuck them; draw and post whatever you want to make yourself and your friends happier and enjoy the fandom experience that you and your friends create.

Anonymous asked:

"something's missing..." might be your shirt rook, idk tho 🤔

(this is about this drawing)

Oh no, he forgot his shirt again. And no one at Savanaclaw is brave enough to tell him.

Anonymous asked:

I remember that Savannaclaw Rook only cut his hair with a knife, soooo, yeah. How do you think first year Rook would respond to first year Idia and vice versa?

Honestly it looks like it lol He and Lilia have something in common…

We love first year Rook with first year Idia so much, Anon, you have no idea! And Rook/Idia in general, this is one of the things that I really want to draw properly at least once. For now we only have sketches…

But to answer your question! I like to think that Rook was very intrigued by Idia right away; of course Idia isn’t a beastman, but he is not only super bright and shiny-looking (unusual! Interesting!), but also is a very rare pokemon to see. It’s very easy to picture Rook getting excited and charmed by him, maybe he even had a period of a little obsession~ But of course none of this is in any way returned by Idia; to him being suddenly surrounded by so many loud and annoying people his age is already stressful enough, but Rook is somehow worse than all of them combined. He hates everyone from Savanaclaw, but they’re usually just rude jerks, but Rook? If only he was a rude jerk…

Anonymous asked:

Chen’ya, are you flashing people on purpose? What are you gonna do if someone likes it?

(related to this post)

Knowing Che’nya, he’ll probably disappear lol Never let them guess your next move. They liked it? Too bad. They didn’t like it? Oh too bad… >:3

Sometimes he is in a flirty mood though~

Anonymous asked:

I’m surprised Lilia doesn’t also spank Idia to punish him

He really should, and his spanks wouldn’t be as murderous as Azul’s! Idia is going to receive punishment AND survive!

I can picture Lilia stopping mid-spank with the realisation though: oh right, this isn’t his kid, this is Idia…

Anonymous asked:

(tw: self-harm)

this might be a bit dark but i’m curious: do you think idia self-harms? every now and then, i see ppl draw him with SH scars. i’ve never been able to decide if it feels like him or not. punishing himself, hating himself, wanting to control this one aspect of his life bc he can’t control anything else sound like idia, but also, being too resigned, lazy, or phobic of pain also sound like idia… little nutjob he is 😒 thoughts?

This is such a good question, Anon. It’s honestly still kind of easy to imagine him doing that. He punishes himself constantly, and while I don’t think this is necessarily about control, this absolutely could be about wanting to make himself feel even worse or to distract himself from the other kind of deep pain he’s feeling. Since we’re talking about a character here, as an artist I can also add that seeing him this way could be aesthetically pleasing, there are some very good artworks with this theme.

That being said, we usually tend to think that Idia wouldn’t do that. I agree that Idia being phobic of pain sounds very like him, but also? He is very detached from the physical side of things in general, I think. He would rather torment himself mentally.

Another reason for Idia and selfharm not really working in our heads is that I don’t think Ortho would let him. He is very sensitive to changes in his health condition after all.

#replies

35 notes · View notes

wandering-feather · 1 year

Text

The Chain

Larissa Weems x Female Reader

Explicit no minors!!!!

Reader is a Normie who is married to Larissa. After the event with Crackstone the new mayor hired Reader as a communication liaison between the school and the town. Larissa and her have been drifting and Larissa seems to put her second all the time. After forgetting a work function of yours and chooses work again, Reader leaves and is in an accident.

I just edited this a little more with just fixed wording, grammar and typos. I have issues with getting over excited and posted this a little too soon. I cleaned it up and made it smoother.

AN: I have not written in a long time and this my first time writing for this fandom. This story came to me in a moment and was written pretty fast because I could not stop. It might not be great but it’s a start. Also this is me getting ready for my series that I posted about. Also the title of the work is from the song The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.

Warnings: angst, smut, car accident, blood, wounds, hospitals.

You were sitting at your vanity, finishing up your hair and make up. You were excited to be going out with your wife even if it was for a work function. After what happened the year prior the new mayor hired you to be the communications liaison between the town and school. Even though you are a normie you were married to the Principle of Nevermore and with your degree in communications the job was a perfect fit. Ever since you started your job though you both have been busy and seem to be drifting apart. You stop for a second from putting on your earring and frown, the more you think about it it seemed you were the only one trying. You reminded yourself that the last school year was very hard on Larissa and she doesn’t want it to happen again. Sighing you finished up at the vanity and stepped in your closet and slid on your favorite dress and quickly slipped on your heels and grabbed your clutch. You stepped out of your shared chambers and stopped at seeing Larissa working at her desk dressed in the clothes she had been wearing all day. You looked at your watch and it dawned on you she forgot because there is no way she had time to get ready.

“Larissa?” You spoke trying to get her attention.

Larissa looked up and smiled noticing how beautiful and fixed up you were but then her face turned to confusion as to why you were dressed up. The moment you saw her confused look you knew you were correct she had forgotten.

“Darling, Why are you so dressed up? Not that I’m complaining, you look beautiful.”

You shake your head feeling tears in your eyes. Larissa noticed this and became concerned.

“I have the work thing tonight that you promised you could make it. I reminded you last night.”

Larissa feels her stomach drop. She did it again and it killed her to see that the tears in your eyes were caused by her. She quickly jumped up and walked over to you, placing her hand on your shoulder. She felt the slight pull of your shoulder and pulled her hand away.

“Darling, I'm so sorry things have been crazy and Wednesday seems to be up to something again. I have been overworked.” She said softly trying to get you to understand.

You took a deep breath and hoped that maybe tonight could be salvageable. “I could go ahead so I won’t be late. You can get ready and then I will tell them you had something come up and will be a little late.” You looked at her with pleading eyes.

Larissa sighed she wanted to say yes but if she didn’t get these emails out tonight a disaster could be happening by tomorrow with upset parents. When you heard her sigh you knew what was coming.

“Darling, I’m so sorry but I won’t be able to attend, with what happened today I have to get these emails out.”

You took a step back and blinked rapidly to stop your tears and not ruin your makeup.

Larissa stared at you noticing you were on the brink of either sobbing or yelling. She wanted to wrap you up in her arms but she wasn’t sure if you would let her. She heard you whisper something.

“Darling, I couldn’t hear you.” She said

You looked up wiping at your eyes carefully, you were done crying over this and being looked over again. Not being able to be your wife’s first choice. You never have been anyone's first choice. What you were doing was helping the school also.

“Larissa, I’m tired of being second to everything in your life. You do this all the time lately. I have been patient and hear me when I say this. I love you with all my heart but I can’t keep doing this. It’s breaking me.” You said this calmly which scared Larissa even more as you have thought about this a lot. These were not just words being said in the moment of anger.

“Love, that is not true please you know how important the school is to me but you are my everything.” She pleads with you.

Shaking your head and huff, “Larissa that is not how it seems. We haven’t even had sex in two weeks and it was like just getting off no romance. You used to send me little notes, have flowers sent to my office. I still do these things I still try but you don’t” your voice was getting a little louder.

You watched as Larissa’s eyes turned to anger and you knew she was upset because you were right and now she was defensive.

“When we got together you knew how important Nevermore was to me.” She said with a curt tone and stood at her tallest height. “I'm sorry you think my love making is lacking and if we are being honest you are just too needy at times.”

You took a shocking breath at her last words. She knew how insecure you are about being a bother to others. Larissa saw your face and instantly regretted her words. She quickly took a step towards you to gather you in her arms and say she was sorry but you took another step back putting your hand out. “Don’t” you could feel your whole body sake. “Just stay here, do your work and I will go do mine. Please don’t come.” You looked her straight in the eyes, “I mean it this isn’t me saying please surprise me and everything will be better.” You turned and grabbed the door knob and without looking back you spoke softly.

“Larissa one day I might not be here, almost losing you last year showed me we don’t have forever. Just know I don’t want to be apart from you.”

You opened the door as Larissa spoke but you didn’t hear her words after she said sorry you had heard that word enough. You walked through the school towards the front doors pushing it open. You wondered if Larissa in fact did follow you but you would not look back. You don’t like to play games like that if you tell someone something that is what you want and you knew Larissa knew that. You got in the car and drove off towards Jericho where the party was being held. You finally put your foot down, you were not going to make her choose you would never do that to her but she needed to know that you can’t keep going like this either.

You arrived at the party letting everyone know that Larissa had something unexpected happen. You worked on moving around the room greeting everyone and you felt your social meter deplete quickly so you excused yourself to your office and sat in the dark thinking. You were not wrong Larissa has drifted you even wondered if she loved you less. What was said had to be said. But you did just tell her why you were upset with her and left instead of trying to talk. You took a shaky breath finally letting the tears fall. If she was falling out of love with you then you would let her be free you would break the chain and let her go. Sometimes love is not enough to keep people together. You held back a sob placing your hand over your mouth. You needed to get to her to let her know you do love her and that the two of you could figure this out together. This can’t be it. You stood up grabbing your bag and keys and thankfully seeing your assistant you told her you were not feeling well. She let you know she would let everyone know. You hoped you didn’t look too bad after crying.

You stepped out feeling the breeze hit your skin and a few raindrops hit your face hurrying to your car you got in as the rain picked up a little. You took some deep breaths trying to calm down. Maybe you should ask your assistant to drive you home but you didn’t want to ruin her night too. Turning the car on you took the road that headed to Nevermore. You turned the radio on to distract yourself and laughed lightly at the song playing The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. Both because it's her favorite band and the meaning of the song. Feeling some tears slipping from your eyes again you quickly punched the station button hearing heavy metal blaring out. You wipe your eyes and that’s when you see the deer standing in the road. It was not raining that hard but it made the road slick. Screaming you grab the wheel swerving. You felt your car lift and roll to the ditch leaving you hanging upside down. Before you slipped out of consciousness you thought about how you never told Larissa you loved her when you left.

You didn’t stay unconscious for long, your eyes snapped open and you could feel the rain pouring around you. You looked around thinking about how your body felt and where it hurt, which was everywhere. You felt something warm dripping down your head and you touched it confirming that you were bleeding. You felt like you could move your body but that doesn’t mean nothing is not broken. You take a deep breath thankful that you felt air moving okay it did hurt to breathe a little. You reached over for your seatbelt and waited one second before unbuckling it and falling to the roof of your car. You cried out as you felt something slice into your leg above your knee. You bit back the pain and looked around for your clutch that had your phone seeing it you reached for it wincing in pain. Quickly getting your phone you groaned because there was no service. It was always crappy in this area and with rain it was impossible to make a call. You thought about writing a note to Larissa so she would know you loved her just in case.

Before you began typing on your phone you saw lights. You knew it was dark. They might not see your car and you begin to climb out of the car ignoring the little cuts you’re getting from the glass. You finally got out of the car and crawled to the road waiving seeing the car slow down you collapsed on the road crying of relief. A person jumped out of the car and came running toward you yelling your name. The last thing you noticed was Vlad before you lost consciousness again.

***

Larissa stood there in shock as you walked away not even responding to her when she told you she loved you. You guys never left without saying you loved each other even if you were upset. She wondered what you meant by one day you might not be there? Were you going to leave her? The tears and sobs began. She collapsed on the floor grabbing at her hair pulling pieces out of the pins. She knew you were not asking her to give up Nevermore but to just show you that she loved you. She was not doing that and she hated herself for that. She cried like that for what felt like ever. She noticed it had began to rain and now she was worried because she hated the fact you were driving out in the rain. She also couldn’t help but know if she kept her promise she could drive instead.

Getting up she headed to the bathroom and was shocked by her appearance. She pulled the pins out of her hair letting the rest fall as her curls fell around her shoulders. She started to clean her face but before she could get all her makeup off she heard a knock at the door. She wondered if it was you but knew that it was too soon. Walking towards the door she opened to find the Astronomy teacher who was taken back by Larissas’s appearance.

“Professor Wilson is everything all right?” Larissa could see fear in the teacher's eyes.

“You need to come with me, Vlad called me, Mrs. Weems has been in a car accident. Vlad found her and she is at the hospital. He asked for me to bring you.” The older lady was frantic at this point.

Larissa felt her world stop at first she didn’t move but when Professor Wilson snapped for her to hurry she grabbed her coat and bag and went with the professor. She was numb. She might have lost you just like you said and she was so stupid she should have been with you. You were not needy and you were neglected by the one person who should have never had. She felt tears fall down her cheek. As they pulled up to the hospital she jumped out of the car running up the steps into the hospital as fast as she could. She ran to the nurse's desk.

“My wife was brought in, she was in a car accident. Weems is her last name,” the nurse looked up and before she could say anything Vlad called out.

“Larissa, she's going to be okay. They are running tests.”

Larissa walked over to Vlad and collapsed in the chair putting her face in her hands. She did this, this was all her fault. She felt Vlad sit next to her and place his hand on her shoulder. “She kept saying for me to tell you she loved you every time she was awake.” Larissa began to sob after a few minutes she used her handkerchief to clean herself up as she saw the doctor.

“Mrs. Weems, your wife is going to be fine. She suffered mostly superficial wounds. Surprisingly nothing is broken, her wrist is sprained. She has a lot of small cuts that will heel up just fine. She does have a head wound but it’s not serious. Though she did have a large deep wound on her thigh it's been sewn up and she is resting. She can go home tomorrow if she stays stable.”

Larissa breathed a sigh of relief thanking the doctor and rushed towards your room but quietly entered in case you were sleeping. Her heels grabbed your attention though and your eyes caught Larissa’s and she stopped when she saw your eyes filling up with tears and her heart broke for the millionth time that night. She was scared you didn’t want her there. You noticed her hesitation and reached your hand out letting her know it was okay to come close. She quickly closed the gap between the two of you grabbing your hand. You both stared at each other for a moment crying before Larissa spoke.

“I’m so sorry I should have been with you and you’re not needy. I have been neglecting you. I love you so much and…” you placed your hand on her cheek.

“Larissa, it doesn’t matter, I mean it does but we got this second chance to have time to work on us. I love you. I should have stayed home and talked to you. You are my everything too. I know you have other priorities but we have to take care of each other too.” You winced as you moved and Larissa quickly went to help and you grabbed her hand intertwining your fingers with hers. “I’m fine, I should have not been driving while I was upset. I let my mind get to me and told myself that you must be falling out of love with me. I just wanted to get back to you.” You touched a strand of her hair smiling lightly noticing she had left the school not put together.

Larissa shook her head frantically as more tears fell down her beautiful face. “Darling I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. That is not true. I love you so much more than my own life. I forgot my priorities and that is going to change.” She leaned in to kiss you but hesitated seeing the small cut on your lip but you broke the distance and kissed her lips ignoring the slight pain.

When she pulled back you smiled at her, “I love you too forever.” You laid there like that for a while you knew you both had to work on a few things but you didn’t mind because your love was too strong to let the chain break.

***

It has been a week since your accident. You forced Larissa to go back to work today because poor Vlad was about to lose his mind. She had promised she would be home at 5pm sharp. Her first promise she made since you were home. You got in the shower and cleaned your wounds which were much better. Your bruises were fading and your wrist hurt a lot less. The only issue you had was the gash on your leg. Getting out you dried off and put on your silk robe and went to the bed. Sitting down you begin to dress your wound on your leg. Before you could finish the job you heard the door to your room open and looked up to see Larissa who had kept her promise. You smiled at her as she smiled back at you.

“Hey I missed you today,” She said, noticing you changing your dressing and frowned quickly coming over to help you. “You should have waited till I got back.” She took over wrapping the gauze around the wound. “Did you think I was going to break my promise?”

You heard the hurt in her voice and put your hand on her cheek making her look at you as she finished wrapping the wound. “First, I missed you too, and no I trust you. I did it by myself so we could have more time to relax together.” You then leaned forward and kissed Larissa’s lips softly.

You could feel her tension relax and she smiled at you as she kissed you back. “I’m sorry today has been hard being away from you after everything.” She said as she stood up and began to remove her heels, earrings and jacket. She then began to undo her hair.

“No wait, stop let me take the pins out please.” You smiled and she nodded and unzipped her dress stepping out of it leaving her in her slip. She walked over to you and sat in front of you as you stood up by the bed. She shook her head and softly grabbed your good wrist to pull you back to sit on the bed. You shook your head this time. “I can stand up for a bit Larissa.” She sighed “ I know I just worry.” She says smiling. You began to pull the pins gently from her hair hearing her moan at the relief of her hair being free. Her curls now fall down her shoulders and you run your fingers through it, smoothing it out hearing her moan again. You squeezed your thighs together feeling your desire run down your leg. It has been too long and you couldn’t help a moan escape your own mouth.

Larissa’s head snapped up towards you and quickly helped you to the bed thinking you were hurt. She stands up frantically. “Where does it hurt?”

You laughed and shook your head. “Larissa, it's okay I’m not hurt.”

She looked at you with such confusion in her eyes. Has it really been that long you thought. “Then what’s wrong?” she asks.

You blushed and looked down, “Its been a long time and when you moaned it just well turned me on,” You felt stupid for being so shy. You also felt like everything was new and to be honest it felt amazing.

Larissa put both her hands on your face and smiled, “Oh darling I have wanted to so badly, I have wanted to show you how much I love you, but you're hurt and I can’t hurt you worse.” She kissed your lips.

“Larissa please I will let you know if you’re hurting me but I need to feel you that way again. Please touch me. Show me.” You pleaded.

Larissa knew she could not deny you not with everything that has happened and she didn’t want to. The things you were saying and the emotion your eyes were showing. What you said in the office broke her heart but it was true she hadn’t really truly touched you in awhile. She nodded, “Alright but this is about you and me showing you how much I love you, we can worry about me later.” She said climbing back on the bed. She helps you lay back against the pillows and being careful to not hurt you she spreads your legs apart. You gasp at the cool air hitting your core. Larissa stops looking into your eyes to make sure you're okay. You smile and place your hand on hers, your way of always telling her you're okay. Larissa smiles and carefully lays between them supporting most of her weight to not hurt you. Normally you like the pressure of her on you but at this moment you were thankful. You smile at her as she kisses you deeply and your hands go up into her hair and she begins to kiss down your jaw and to your throat, “I love you so much Darling you're so beautiful.” She says and she reaches for the belt to your robe untying it and letting your robe fall to your sides. She looks at the old bruises and looks up at you as if she’s asking if it’s okay to kiss them. She wanted to remind herself of how close she lost you or to make them go away. You nod as she then places soft kisses on the bruises each time thanking the stars you’re still here. She kissed back up to your chest kissing right over your heart ,"I'm so sorry." She whispers looking straight at your heart. You saw the tear fall out of her eye and you reached up to wipe it with your thumb. “I’m here Larissa, it's okay.” You said as she reached up catching your lips in a passionate kiss you moaned into the kiss running your hand down her arm. She pulled back looking into your eyes with so much love you knew the look she was in love with you today just as she was in the beginning.

Larissa began to kiss down to your chest taking your breast into her mouth your head fell back as you moaned laying your hand over hers squeezing letting her know you were okay. After giving your other breast attention she licked from your sternum down to above your throbbing core. She smiles seeing how wet you are, that it’s for just her and no one else. She carefully wraps her arms around your legs being careful as she runs her hand carefully over your bandage placing her hand above it she kisses the bandage. You watched her with your mouth partially open. You place your hand over hers keeping your eyes on her as she kisses on your thighs. Moans were escaping your lips and you couldn’t help but buck your hips a little. She chuckles as she looks up at you catching your eyes. Then with a smile she runs her tongue along your slit keeping her eyes on you. You arch your back as much as your body would allow and it was like an explosion came about your body. The sounds you were making were letting Larissa know what you wanted and she began to suck on your clit and while making sure you're staring into her eyes she slid two fingers inside you and began to curl them like you love so much. You were moaning and panting and an utter mess but you kept your eyes on Larissa’s blue ones with your other hand on her head. You knew you were getting close and you knew Larissa knew because she replaces her mouth with her thumb on your clit and climbs up kissing you still keeping her weight off of you. When you guys were like this she wanted to be close to you when you came looking into your eyes.

“Larissa I…..” You took a deep breath trying to get your words out as your head was spinning.

“I know baby it’s okay cum for me.” She whispered in your ear as her fingers moved faster. You felt the sensation start in your stomach and spread throughout your body while keeping your eyes on hers. You let out a sound you have never heard before and kissed Larissa as you came. She pulled her fingers out and you gasped at the motion with how sensitive you were. Larissa pulled back and moved some hair off your face. “I love you so much my darling.” She said kissing on your face running her fingers through your hair.

She laid back and softly pulled you up to her side as you laid your head on her chest. “I love you too.” You whisper. She reaches down and grabs your bad leg resting on her thigh. She rests her hand lightly above your bandage, again something to remind her you're here. You run your finger along her collar bone and smile. It was silent, all that could be heard was your labored breath. It was like all the words you could have said were said in the way she made love to you. You felt your eyes flutter a little as sleep begins to take over. Normally you would be ready to show her but you were to keep your promise also and she wanted tonight to be about you. Also your body was still healing.

Larissa ran her fingers through your hair, “Sleep darling we have later for more.” You hummed and you let sleep take over. Larissa looked down watching you sleep. She had been doing that a lot lately. She furrowed her brow at the about watching you sleep. It seemed creepy. However, right now it doesn't matter she couldn't keep her eyes off of you like you would disappear if she did. She almost lost you and she made a promise to herself and you that she would not do that again.

#larissa weems fanfic #larissa weems #wednesday #larissa weems x reader #Larissa weems x you #principal weems x reader #gwendolineuniverse

330 notes · View notes

basic-bamboo · 2 months

Text

Today on: Tumblr is a hell designed specifically for people with moral OCD as well as You're Just A Religious Fundamentalist in a Different Hat

This was a reply on a post about "thought crimes" (completely misunderstanding the probably context and meaning of thought crime) and how if you talk about something then it ceases to be a "thought crime" and then you are just telling people what you're like.

I replied to this directly, but I needed to reply to it openly because this is something that greatly contributed to my development of scrupulosity. For me, this was framed a little differently. This was part of my religious and institutional abuse at the hands of the LDS/Mormon Church and they would say "if you wouldn't say it in front of Jesus or your grandma, don't say it at all."

The idea of having to weigh the potential harms of every possible thing that I could say is something that still affects me to this day. I still struggle to talk to strangers about hobbies or fandoms we have in common because it has been drilled into me by my experiences that I will inevitably do harm- and my mind shows me each and every way every possible thing I could say could be interpreted in a way that could harm the person I'm talking to (including making this post! And replying to that post!) -that in the end it is safer not to talk to anybody (which my mind reminds me is also causing harm) and I routinely delete the things I create because of the Moral Implications.

It is not my or anyone else's responsibility to curate your internet experience for you. When I am posting to my Tumblr- one of the few platforms that allows you to tailor your experience! You have options to filter out things you don't want to see! -I do not have to post with hypothetical children or psych patients or family members or Jesus in mind. You are free to not interact with me or block me or interact with some things and not others and have complicated feelings because despite what our evangelical culture (and my brain) tells us people aren't just Good or Bad and Bad people aren't just waiting in the shadows to jump out and getcha.

The phrase "does this person need to hear this?" is what my brain asks me before I have a chance to send a message reaching out to a friend to tell that I'm having a hard time and then delete it because I can't justify that they do need to hear it. This kind of thinking, this culture of thinking convinces people that they are fundamentally Evil and if you're Evil, why would you deserve help?

#moral ocd #scrupulosity #religious fundamentalism #exmormon

19 notes · View notes

rearranged-fanfic · 1 month

Text

Update (8/26) and A Question to You All

First order of business! Oof, babes. I got jump scared 😅

Friendly reminder to all my A03 homies out there that story bookmarks aren't private by default. You have to check the tiny box on the bottom that marks it as "private", otherwise all your dirty laundry is aired out to the world.

Needless to say, I uhhhh... I offended somebody. They were big mad at my story. Very incensed. I apologize for my poor conduct as an author for the grief I have cause the world at large 🙏🏻

Also, I'm apparently an untrustworthy author and that's funny to me 🥴🫠

I'm not even upset. I'm just a nice little blend of bemused and amused (which are two separate things entirely, though they often get treated as synonyms).

Alright, moving on...

I'm finishing Seaside this weekend. It's almost done. Well, more like halfway. But I can bust out a few thousand more words in *checks watch* four days' time. It's practically a done deal. I'm not at all setting myself up for failure with this strict time constraint.

No siree.

I anticipate having REARRANGED updated by NEXT Friday/Saturday, not this upcoming one. Whether this comes to fruition or not depends entirely on my ability to buckle down and NOT get distracted by my ADHD. I make no solid promises because I'm a disaster person.

The next item on my agenda is Crimson Chapter 3. I've bumped up the chapter count because there was so, so much tsundere!Suguru interacting with Reader-chan that I didn't have the willpower to cut any of it. We now have 4 chapters of our Vampire Knight/JJK fusion AU.... I'm a simp for mean guys, what can I say?

Then another REARRANGED the next week, and the end of Crimson the week after that.

I'm a busy bee this month. But I have so much to catch up on.

Once I finish my two smaller WIPs, I have a maddening desire to break out of the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom for a few smaller side projects while writing REARRANGED. I'm leery, given that JJK is where my main audience is. I wouldn't want to alienate any of my regular readers. I'd still probably do CanonXReader fics because they soothe my self-indulgent needs. But, man, I want to dabble in other fandoms so baaaad.

So, my question to those of you who keep up with my works, are there any characters from this list that you'd like to see more of in the future?

(Keep in mind that this is the distant future. Not until I complete the second arc of REARRANGED at least.)

(*) indicates that this is a fav of mine or I already have an outline/WIP of this character in my documents folder.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (anime/manga)

Rengoku Kyojuro* Douma Akaza

Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (anime/manga)

Hawks/Takami Keigo* Aizawa Shota Togata Mirio* Amajiki Tamaki Kirishima Eijiro

Naruto (anime/manga)

Uchiha Shusui* Uchiha Obito Hatake Kakashi* Shiranui Genma

Final Fantasy XV (videogame)

Prompto Argentum* Cor Leonis Nyx Ulric

Any of those look promising? IDK. It might be fun to write for an even smaller fandom, too. Maybe one of my old fandoms that are near-dead? I like getting out of my comfort zone (sometimes).

Well, I think that's it for this update.

Peace out, my lovelies 🥰😘

#REARRANGEDfanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #update #behind the scenes #questions

14 notes · View notes

giulliadella · 6 months

Text

There's one thing about Hazbin Hotel fandom that incredibly pisses me off. It's those people who, when you say that you really hate Valentino, reply with "Well Alastor is the same as Valentino and you like him, so you're a hypocrite."

And that's so not true. Alastor and Valentino have some similarities, both being overlords and manipulative pricks, but they are NOT the same.

Firstly, just look at the way Alastor treats the people whose souls he owns vs. Valentino.

Alastor owns Husk and Niffty, but neither of them seem to be abused on a daily basis, which Angel does experience with Valentino. Alastor and his souls have friendly banter and conversations, whilst Valentino only sees Angel as a money making prompt that he can use however he pleases. I believe that the main difference between them is that Valentino sees the souls he owns as his property, just things to play with and profit from, while Alastor sees them as people.

The scene where Alastor scares off Husk in episode 5 actually proves my point. In that episode Alastor was already irritated by Lucifer's presence and Mimzy's interference didn't help. When Husk came to him, he sounded actually worried for Alastor's safety. That is not a behavior of someone who feels like a trapped slave. Alastor responds by pissing off Husk by calling him his pet cat, which is something Husk despises hearing about. Being angry, Husk slips one of the most intimate pieces of information about Alastor - that the mighty radio demon sold his soul as well. How would Husk know this if he and Alastor aren't close? Maybe he was there when it happened, but I highly doubt it. I believe that Alastor told him that as a secret that Husk had to keep, maybe to help him if his deal gets too much for Alastor alone to handle. By revealing that, husk broke Alastor's trust and his patience, so Alastor told him off by reminding him that he's owned and scaring the living shit out of him. BUT HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY HURT HIM. Five minutes later Husk was fine, he was eating popcorn and gossiping with Angel.

And now look at Valentino's behavior when Angel ticks his nerves. Valentino immediately jumps to violence, he beats Angel physically and later abuses him sexually by forcing him to do sex work. He is literally drugging Angel, demanding that he stays with him 24/7, then he's lovebombing. Valentino exerts control by being an abusive monster. He doesn't see Angel as a person. To him, Angel exists just to make money and this level of abuse caused Angel to have a completely warped image of himself. Angel is trying to destroy himself so that Valentino would leave him alone. This is a completely different level of abuse than what Husk experiences.

And the "But Alastor is a serial killer" argument is also bad. Because we have no idea what kind of overlords he killed. Maybe Alastor killed those overlords to free the souls that were abused by them. The only overlords he didn't kill were Rosie and Zestial and they both seem like respectful people (I can't tell that for Zestial with certainty because he was on screen for like 5 minutes, but Rosie is definitely a good overlord who's treating her souls as people and she's making sure that they are well-fed, well-dressed and safe in her little town). So, a serial killer that is killing slave owners who treat their souls like shit is as bad as serial rapist, sexual abuser who profits from exploiting people that he abuses? Really?

Are both Alastor and Valentino awful people who own souls? Yes.

But are they the same? No, absolutely not.

All that said, maybe I'll be proven wrong in future seasons, but with all the information we have as of now, I can attest to the fact that Alastor is a better person than Valentino, despite all of his flaws, cannibalism and all that, simply because he doesn't profit off of other people's suffering and because he treats his souls as people instead of things.

#rant #rant post #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel angel dust

16 notes · View notes

chaotic-history · 2 months

Text

"While waiting [for Émilie], [Voltaire] seemed attached to several horses, for he had made the little 'abbé' Linant come to Rouen and even offered hospitality to another young man named Lefebvre, a budding poet aged 20 like the other, and like a certain Lamare, the third ephebos that he cosseted and who was also an abbot. The first had already made a trip to Paris to keep his acquaintance with [Lord Bolingbroke]. This boy seems to have had equivocal relations with Cideville, which makes this phrase from a letter from Voltaire from May 29 to this advisor, a letter prior to the return of the 'chubby abbot', amusing: 'When he wants to come back to Paris, I will rent him a hole near my house; he will furthermore be the master of dinner and supper every day in my retreat.' He practically offered him to share his bed. The presence of these two young men by him distinctly reminds one of the young 'writers' that the abbé Desfontaines, the famous pederast, had had near him for so long, and who served at once as mignons and secretaries. Even if he did not take up with them the liberties that he had formerly had with Thieriot in M. Alain's study, he still cherished this extreme familiarity with young people." - Voltaire et Frédéric II by Roger Peyrefitte.

FIRST off, why are we stating as fact that any "liberties" happened with Thieriot. There is zero proof. There is circumstantial evidence in that you could interpret V's letters to Thieriot as being kinda gay and then infer that "liberties" occurred, but even if we are interpreting the letters as gay, that's still a big jump to make from 'V felt more than just friendship for Thieriot' to 'they definitely slept together', which there's no real evidence for.

Second of all, there is no evidence of anything going on with Linant. Nancy Mitford suggested it as well, with the reasoning being that Linant was stupid and useless and why else would V keep him around, which is the same argument that's been used for V and Thieriot being gay. But a relationship between V and Linant being a possible explanation for something does not mean that that's evidence for a relationship, and Mitford doesn't cite anything V wrote as potential proof. And also like. The man resorted to full-on referring to his plays + la Henriade as his children to an extent and (unofficially) adopted Marie-Françoise and pretty much Reine Philiberte and Villette as well. And reading the letters about Linant from V to Cideville, and V talking about Linant's improvements in writing, it very much sounds like he's just proud of Linant and sees himself as a father figure. Again, also just a possibility, but it works equally well as an explanation and it fits into an already established pattern, plus it's based on what V actually wrote.

Thirdly, I would like to emphasise the "aged 20". "Aged 20" is not the same as what the "famous pederast" was doing.

Fourthly, saying that that quote about Linant coming back to Paris is "practically offering him to share his bed" is the single most batshit far-fetched gay interpretation I have ever seen in my life, and I was in the Hamilton fandom for three years. Genuinely how do you even get there. Bitch could've invited Linant to stay with him but he specifically said he'd rent him a different place. How does that equate to inviting him into his bed. This part alone is what's gonna convince me of Peyrefitte's bottom V thesis cause I can interpret two letters in that way and I can no longer be self-conscious about how I interpret literally anything, because it's still gonna be 10 miles more sane and evidenced than anything Peyrefitte's said.

@enlitment I apologise deeply for making you read this, but here's a taste of why the book sucks... Turns out I actually stopped reading on page 20 lol cause that's where my yelling at Peyrefitte in the margins stops.

#voltaire #voltaire et frédéric ii #roger peyrefitte #as for V and thieriot; V himself says that he cares about Thieriot more than ordinary friendship could allow #but that doesn't have to mean romantic; imo it doesn't. it can just mean that there's a lot of room under the label of platonic and that-#- there aren't hard and fast lines.#and it can be queer without being gay

10 notes · View notes

xxwritemeastoryxx · 2 years

Note

*chants* Bucky, Bucky, Bucky

18. Just pretend we’re okay, just for tonight, just for show. I’ll be gone by sunrise.

(Pretty please)

Compromised

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Word Count: 5873

Warnings: Betrayal, weapon usage/violence, angst galore. Canon timeline doesn't exist to make this fic work.

Author’s Note: Okay, hear me out before this one gets started. I'm sorry (That's a lie) for whatever pain comes from this one. But I also couldn't help myself and added a second prompt because it JUST FIT PERFECTLY and I couldn't help myself. I added prompt 10. You started this. The least you can do is finish ripping my heart out by telling the damn truth. The beginning of this fic is a bit misleading. Do not jump to conclusions! Also, I want to say that I'm still getting used to writing for Bucky, so any constructive critiques are welcome. Please note that Make it Angsty Requests are now closed. I'm posting them after the fact cause I fail at posting things in a timely manner. The divider is by the lovely @firefly-graphics ♥

I do not and will not ever give permission for my fics to be copied and posted on other sites. Don’t do it. Don’t be that person that ruins it for me and everyone else.

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. While likes are appreciated, reblogs are gold. Seriously, if you enjoyed this in the slightest, please reblog ♥

MCU Masterlist || Fandom Masterlist || Taglist

It was almost a typical Stark party. However for once it wasn’t for his benefit of any kind. For the first time since Y/N had joined the avengers, they were celebrating her birthday. While it may seem odd that they hadn’t done so before, it was because Y/N didn’t want them to fuss over her. For years they had attempted to throw her a party, but she never wanted it and reminded them every time they had tried.

At first she refused to give up the date when she first joined to allow them to throw some kind of celebration. After FRIDAY gave up the day, Y/N always found out about the details that allowed her to evade every get together or surprise party they attempted. They’d throw the party and she’d never show until she was sure they had given up. Or she’d take on missions to avoid the compound altogether.

In truth, Y/N felt as though she didn’t deserve the party they had been so desperately wanting her to be a part of. She couldn’t ever recall a time where her birth had been celebrated. There weren’t an increasing amount of candles to blow out. After years of having nothing, it had become just another day to her. And now that several people wanted to celebrate her birthday, it was overwhelming.

That was until a few months ago that Bucky had been volunteered to convince his girlfriend to actually have a birthday party. If anyone could convince her, it’d be Bucky. He couldn’t get out of the small parties that Steve insisted they have for him. Unlike Y/N, he couldn’t escape his best friends tatics from it.

And after weeks of convincing and reassuring Y/N that it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to have a party thrown for her, she finally agreed to it. It also didn’t hurt to add in that any time he was forced to attend a party for his, she was a willing participant that helped him enjoy the night. For once he wanted to be able to see her enjoy herself on her birthday.

That was how she currently found herself surrounded by plenty of people that she knew and didn’t know. Many of them had been staff within the compound that she hardly ever talked to. If it hadn’t been for the conversations and words of encouragement from Bucky and her teammates, she would have bolted for the door hours ago.

But now, she was beginning to feel ansty and the one person that promised he’d by her side the majority of the night was nowhere to be seen. Even as her eyes scanned the crowd she couldn’t find Bucky. Usually she could pick him out rather easy in any room, but right now she couldn’t.

As her eyes finished her scan, she found Steve and Sam talking across the way causing her to start making her way over. As she had, her eyes kept looking for Bucky the whole time hoping he’d pop up.

“Have you seen Bucky?” She asked as she came up to them.

They had stopped mid conversation the moment she spoke. They both hadn’t missed the anxiousness that was visible in her eyes. While they hardly ever seen that side of her before, they both knew that this was a first for her. They expected there to be some hesitancy on her part.

Steve tilted his head towards the hall at the other end of the room. “He got a phone call a few minutes ago. Couldn’t hear over the music.”

She didn’t blame him. The music levels were just loud enough that some people had to speak louder just to be heard. Any louder and she was sure people would have to be mouth to ear in this place to hear anything.

“Thanks.” She said giving him a smile.

“We’re going to be bringing out the cake soon.” Sam added. “Don’t take too long.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and shook her head. “No promises!” She said before she turned and started making her way towards the hall.

When she reached the hall, her eyes began scanning each room as she walked past them, looking for Bucky. She soon realized that only one room, at the very end of the hall had been closed. A small smile pulled at her lips once more as she made her way over to that door.

Her thoughts instantly going to the playful things she could say to him as she walked into the door. She could joke about how he was hiding away when he promised he’d be there. She could also joke that when his birthday came around, she would be able to hide away. The many things she could say just to help ease the anxiety that was bubbling within her.

“Hey Buck-” As she opened the door, she froze. The playful question about him hiding away never got the chance to pass her lips.

Bucky stood at the opposite side of the desk with a file opened and papers scattered. Several pictures were mixed in with the pages that had been on the desk. A document was in his hand as if he had been reading it moments before she had opened the door.

Curiosity should have filled her with what he currently had his eyes trained on, but it wasn’t. Fear filled her as she recognized the contents of the file he had been going through. All of the information in that file she had tried her hardest to destroy. The life she no longer wished to be a part of was contained within that file. The lies to her life laid out on display.

Taking a shuddering breath, she stepped into the room and closed the door. She kept her back to the door, with her hands on the handle. The simple need to grasp onto it just in case she needed to make a quick getaway.

“I need you to let me explain.”

The instant the words left her mouth, Bucky’s eyes snapped to her. He had heard her when she opened the door, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her. Not when his eyes were still scanning the document in his hand, taking in the information.

His heart had been in his stomach from the moment he opened the file. Before he opened it, he felt as though he shouldn’t and trust Y/N. He wanted to believe that there was no reason to worry and whatever was in that file was going to prove his recent suspicions to be wrong. But they weren’t.

Being free from the memories tied to it makes it easier to get the job done.

A simple phrase she had said weeks ago had stuck with him. A siren going off within his mind that felt wrong. For someone such as Y/N, who joined from SHIELD, shouldn’t know what it’s like to have her memories wiped. Then again, he had no idea what SHIELD was capable of doing behind closed doors.

It didn’t stop Bucky from wanting the answers himself without dropping a thousand questions on Y/N. He knew the sudden interest in her past would raise questions. While Bucky knew as much about Y/N as she was willing to give, she still had walls up and Bucky respected some of those walls. Just as she had with some of his. But now he had the answers directly in front of him and he hated himself for not seeing it sooner.

“Who are you?” His voice was loud enough for her to hear. His voice hardly held any emotion even though his expressions conveyed everything he was feeling.

“You know who I am.” She responded as she lifted her head up a little higher. Almost as if she was bracing herself for the blow.

“Obviously I don’t.” His right hand gestured towards the desk. “Your background was pretty extensive, I’m amazed that you made it through Tony’s security checks with how much I have sitting on this desk.”

“It’s not that hard for Hydra to create a false identity when you don’t exactly have one.” Much like the calmness in his voice, her’s matched. On the inside, her heart was racing. She was sure her eyes had displayed the fear and guilt she was currently feeling. Her eyes took in every bit of him. Studying him and keeping herself ready for anything she hoped wouldn’t happen. “The person in that file is dead. Has been for several years.”

A scoff passed his lips as he shook his head. “If she’s dead, who’s birthday are they currenty out there celebrating?”

They. He hadn’t included himself in that scentence and Y/N had picked up on that right away. There was a change from earlier this morning when he took her out to breakfast and left a gift on her bed side table to wake up to. She assumed that the time he took to celebrate her birthday ended when he got his phone call, no doubt signalling the arrival of the file.

“Still mine.” There was the slightest nod of her head as she tried to enure his questions were answered as quickly as she could without them seeming rehearsed, even though there were times where she practiced for the day she would tell him. “They-” She stopped herself. There was no use in avoiding the truth. “Hydra believed that if I had no ties to my former life, I would do as they pleased. But when creating a backstory, they used my real birth date. It was only after I left that I found out it was the right date. Everything else was different.”

His eyes took her in as she finished. He could see how she was almost in a defensive stance. Her arm behind her back no doubt holding the handle on the door. The defensive reflex reminding him of many times he had seen other soldiers hold that stance in a room that he was in. An easier way to leave when the opportunity presented itself.

He wondered how many other times there was something that had seemed so familiar to him that had gone unnoticed. For every memory that had been returned to him, he never knew who she was when they first met. He would have known if she was mixed in the sea of memories, but she never encountered him while he was under Hydra’s hold.

But now he kew that brief moment of a gut feeling when he met her for the first time was an actual warning he should have listened to. But it had been Steve, and occasionally Sam, that reminded him that once she opened up, she wasn't as guarded and neither of them had felt off about her presence. It turns out they had been wrong.

"I get it." She said a moment later when he hadn’t said anything. “This is a bunch of new information that you're taking in. Maybe you need a little more time to process." Her hand on the knob slowly turned. This would be the only chance she'd have to leave the room. While she didn't fear him, she was afraid of the emotions that would come from this conversation. She knew, without a doubt, he'd hate her afterwards. "I'll head back to the party and we can talk later. Just please don't say anything to anyone. At least not yet."

She had barely turned around and opened the door a little more than an inch or two before the swish of a blade flying through the air was loud in her ears. It was followed by a thud that caused the door to slam shut just as quickly as she had opened it. She looked up to see the knife barely above her head.

"We are far from finished."

When she turned back around, she found him standing within arms reach. His eyes were narrowed at her. Her heart aches that he had been looking at her like he was instead of the caring looks she had been used to. In the span of a an hour, she had become the enemy in his eyes.

Bucky could have aimed anywhere. He had half a mind to aim for the space right beside her hand or even right by her cheek. Something close enough to knick the skin as a warning not to leave. But the part of him that cared way too deeply for her couldn't bring himself to bring the knife that close to her.

He couldn't deny what was in front of him. The way she had been so calm about this had further proved the evidence. It was almost as if he could no longer recognize who she was. That the woman he loved was completely different from the woman who's life had been spread out on the desk behind him. Even the words leaving her lips that now came out so easily were foreign to him in the way their conversations usually went. Hydra was never spoken of and now it had been mentioned more times in the last few minutes than they had been in the few years they had known each other.

“How long?” He asked a moment later.

“Since before we met.” The words came out easily.

"What was your mission?"

Her eyes scanned his face for a moment. Just enough for her to collect her thoughts. She could lie, but she knew that would get her nowhere. She could tell the truth, and they could possibly find themselves at each other's throats.

“To infiltrate the Avengers." His features hadn't changed as she continued. "I was to gain their trust while I observed and reported anything of interest. When the time came I was to take down my target.”

“Who is your target?” He asked with a raised brow.

“Doesn’t matter, I couldn’t go through with it.” She said with a shake of her head.

That detail she couldn’t bring herself to give up. It caused her heart to ache just thinking about it. She never voiced it before and she didn’t want this to be the first time she did. Any other time she could redirect the questions onto something else. But this wasn’t just a casual conversation to be had anymore. This was Bucky interrogating her.

There weren't any playful conversations or plans for the rest of the night. There wasn’t the comfortable stance between them. Instead they both were on edge and the tension in the air thick.

“It does matter. You came here under false pretenses. Lied to everyone who believed to be your friend. I think it’s only fair that you own up to who it was.” It was no longer about knowing her past and what she had done. It was now about if she still posed as threat while still here within the walls of the compound.

“They’re still breathing.” She noted. “I almost went through with it. But I learned I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So it doesn’t matter who it was, Bucky. All that matters is that I turned my back on Hydra and never looked back.”

“And what’s to stop you from changing your mind and going after them?” He asked taking a step closer to her.

“What stopped you from killing Steve?” With his step forward, she began remembering the layout of the room. The details she could use to her advantage from being pinned against the door as she now was.

“Why can’t you just answer the question?” He shot back as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Because it isn’t necessary!” Her voice raised slightly. The emotions within her growing and she hated the fact that her eyes threatened to tear up. “I left. I made the choice to be better. You got to do the same. Why is it any different with me?”

“Because I don’t know how I can trust you without knowing all of the facts.” He took in a deep breath trying to calm himself. “I let you in. How do I know that everything you’ve told me isn’t a lie? I don’t know how much of it was you actually being you or if you were doing your job and just using me to get close to-”

He stopped himself when something clicked in his mind. The missing pieces of the puzzle being found as he watched the tears well up in her eyes and the words he had just said brought everything into perspective. He looked up at the knife that was still embedded in the door above her head before looking back at her.

“I’m only going to ask this one more time.” There was hurt in his voice and every part of him hoped that the answer he now had in his mind was wrong. “Who is your mission?”

The moment Bucky had cut himself off, Y/N knew he had pieced it together. It was written in his face and in his eyes. It had made her heart ache as she watched him piece it together. She knew this is where he would hate her. Even if she tried and denied it again, he still knew and there was nothing that could change that.

“You.” That was when the first tear fell from her eyes. His hands dropped to his sides as he took a step back. When she reached out to him, he hit her hand away. “Bucky-”

“Everything was a lie, wasn’t it?” His head shook as he looked at her. His heart ached in a way he believed he never felt before. He had felt and done many things during his lifetime. He regretted many things and several of them he wished on everything he could take them back. But the one thing he never regretted was meeting and falling in love with Y/N. At least that was until now. “You are pretty good at your job sweetheart, I’ll give you that.”

“I have lied about plenty of things, but my feelings for you weren’t one of them.” Y/N needed him to understand that.

Her confessions of care and love towards him hadn’t been faked at any point. Her annoyance in the beginning had been clear. It took months for them to warm up to each other, let alone work well together on missions. And while she was the double agent, it was only until her feelings had shifted, right along with Bucky’s, that she realized she couldn’t go through with her mission.

“Don’t feed me that bullshit.” His eyes narrowed at her. “Everything I have known about you has been a lie. From the moment I met you I should have listened to my gut.” He shook his head before running his fleshed hand down his face. “You started this by taking the mission.” He said as he looked into her eyes. “The least you can do is finish ripping my heart out by telling the damn truth for once.”

Her eyes widdened slightly as she took in his words. She knew that this was a justified reaction from him. But it didn’t hurt anyless to hear that she was breaking him. The first relationship he had away from Hydra and she was tormenting him by not telling him the truth.

She looked elsewhere for a moment as she tried to get her emotions in check. After all those years of training, she found them to be useless in that moment. Tears were falling freely with no intent to stop. They were silent and didn’t affect her in the way it would to someone else.

“You want the whole truth? Okay. Here it is.” If it would help in some way to either ease things between them or get them going for the inevitable reveal to the others, she’d give it all up. “Hydra caught wind that you were having your programming removed.” His eyes widened for a moment as he took in her words. “For the right price, there are no secrets, even in closed borders, you know that. Agents were trying to find their place after the fall of SHIELD. It was easy to have a background created for me and I was tossed in with the potentials. It didn’t take long for my skillsets to be noticed and I was brought in rather quickly. I was to observe and report what was necessary to my superiors. And when the time came I was to assess if the Winter Soldier could be returned and utilized or put down.

"I played my role and mingled with everyone. I reported back when necessary. Much like you with the hesitancy towards me, I had the same with you. Yes, I feared that you’d figure it out early on and kill me. I expected it from the moment you returned from Wakanda. I stayed on edge waiting for the moment that you would figure it out. But you never did. And when you managaged to actually hold a conversation with me for longer than two seconds, I knew I had my way in.” She watched as a glare formed on his face and when he opened his mouth to speak she quickly continued.

“Things started to change between us. I fought it because I was supposed to be doing my job and not falling for you. Your death was supposed to come that first mission alone together after it was agreed by my superiors that you were to be put down. You were so eager to get the mission done that you never realized you had a gun pointed at your head several times.” She wiped the tears from her cheek. Bucky had shook his head at her words. No doubt hating himself for not realizing it then. “Nor did you see how I struggled to get myself to pull the trigger. Because every time you looked back to check on me, all I could see was Bucky and not the asset that I was meant to put down. All I could see was the freedom and relationship that I craved and I couldn’t do it.

“The moment we got back from that mission I left for a few days. I said it was because I had a family emergency that I needed to take care of. That was the last lie I told you. Because I couldn’t tell you that I was going to either get myself killed or I was going to take down the base that not even the Avengers knew about.”

The moment she mentioned it, Bucky remembered that night. He remembered, for the first time in a long while, being anxious waiting for Y/N to return home from checking in on her family. The night she had left he was going to tell her how he felt. The feelings that had been developing for her, he needed her to know.

Bucky had been working up the courage the week leading up to the mission. But he couldn’t get himself to. And when they got back, he was on his way to her room to tell her when he caught word she had left rather quickly. The only thing anyone knew was something was going on with her family. So Bucky waited a little longer to tell her.

After almost a week and a half, Bucky woke up in the middle of the night to find Y/N sitting in the doorway to his room. At first he believed he was dreaming until he got up and walked over to her. He had expected to see some kind of smirk on her lips or some kind of joke about her being a lurker. Instead he found her face and neck covered in yellowing bruises.

“What happened?” He asked, quickly moving to sit beside her and take in the damage.

“Some times checking in on your family means getting your ass beat in the process.” It was a horrible joke but it had made her chuckle slightly as tears formed in her eyes.

He brought his hand under her chin and lifted it slightly, angling her face up and to the side to get a better look at her neck. “Should have called in for some back up. I gladly would have stepped in.” They chuckled and she shook her head.

“I assure you, they wouldn’t be able to touch anyone again.”

Her words caused an eyebrow to raise on his face. “Am I being sworn to secrecy with that statement? Cause I can-”

“You wont have to worry about anything.” She promised. “I’m free from anything incriminating.” She looked down the hall towards where her room was. “I’ve only been back a few minutes, I didn’t want to wake you. You actually looked like you were sleeping peacefully tonight. I just needed-”

“It’s okay.” He assured her. He stayed with her in that spot for a little longer before she excused herself to go to her room.

The next morning they received the news that a hydra base had been taken down with no idea who had done it. No mission had been scheduled. They didn't even know that particular base had existed. Yet it had been up in flames without anyone alive to explain what was going on. Local authorities had been the ones to find the base in shambles and it took some time to reach the compound.

“I should kill you right now.” His voice had been calm. The words had even shocked him as they left his lips. Maybe it was the mix of emotions, but there was no stopping them once they left his lips.

Without any hesitation, Y/N shot her hand up above her head, grabbing the hilt of the knife, pulling it free. The moment she had it free, Bucky had his vibranium hand wrapped around hers. He thought she had been attempting to use it against him, and as he tried to keep it from meeting him, she easily brought it closer to her, letting the tip of the blade meet her shirt right above her heart.

“Do it, you’d be doing both of us a favor.” For a brief moment she saw the way his eyes softened at her words and actions before they hardened just as they had moments before. “I never intended to fall for you. But you made me care and I couldn’t stop myself. You want to kill me, go ahead. I deserve it for what I’ve done.”

Bucky pulled the blade away from her and brought it down to his side. “You should have told me the truth sooner. When you knew you couldn’t go through with it. Or even that night. We sat up for hours, you should have told me. I would have let you go then instead of having to find out this way when you slipped up.”

“I know, and I understand that I should have. But you-”

“Leave.” He couldn’t let her finish what she was about to say. While he didn’t know it word for word, he knew she would say along the lines of ‘now he knew and they could start over, now he knew and once she told the others they could make their way past this’. Part of him wanted to let her be that selfish. But the other part that now saw her only as someone that used him, he couldn’t bring himself to allow her any of it.

She nodded her head. “Okay, I’ll give you some space.”

“I meant leave here completely. I don’t want to see you around here anymore. In fact I expect you to be somewhere across the world by morning.”

“What? No-”

“If you don’t leave, I will gladly walk out of this room and alert everyone that Hydra is within their walls.” He would quickly do it if it allowed him the peace of her being gone. He couldn’t stand to look at her right now.

"I am not Hydra anymore!" She was glad the music had been blasting down the hall or else she would have given herself away with how loudly she had yelled it at him. “If you’re going to take anything away from this, please let that be it.”

“I can’t.” He shook his head. He moved towards the door to leave. As his flesh hand grabbed the door knob, she placed hers on top of his, causing him to look over at her with a glare.

“I know you don’t owe me any favors, and I definitely don’t deserve this, but please. Just pretend we’re okay, just for tonight, just for show.” She watched as his eyes hadn’t changed as he kept them on her. “Please. The others don’t need to hear about this right now and I promise that I’ll be gone by sunrise.”

He stood there for a moment, taking her in one last time. For the briefest of moments, this was his Y/N that he was looking at. The woman he had loved with everythin he could give. She wasn’t the enemy that had been standing in front of him. Nor was she the woman that broke his heart several times within their conversation tonight.

The pain in his chest shattered the illusion a moment later and all he could see and feel was the betrayal from her. The lies he had heard over the years on a loop in his mind as he looked into her eyes. He couldn’t give her the whole night she was asking for. He didn’t even know if he’d be capable of giving her any time longer than him walking out of this room.

“I’ll give you until your candles are out.” He said as he shook her hand off of his and opened the door. “That’s the only time you’ll get. After that it’s fair game.”

As the door slammed shut behind him, she closed her eyes and let a shakey breath out. She had expected him to say no. To tell her to leave once more before he left the room. She had expected to be running to their shared room and packing a bag to slip out under the radar. But he gave her smallest window of nothing being wrong.

Leaving the room, she quickly ducked into the nearest bathroom to collect herself. Thankfully there hadn’t been many people in the hall and there wasn’t someone already in the bathroom. Making quick use of her time, she ensured that not a single evidence of tears had been on her face and made sure her eyes didn’t hold the emotions she had been feeling. With one last deep breath, she walked back out to the party.

“There she is!” Clint yelled out, catching her attention. “We’ve been trying to keep Thor off of the cake.”

In the last few moments the music had been lowered significantly, to a decent volume. Thankfully they hadn’t decided to do so before she and Bucky had walked out of the room. If they had, she was sure she’d be greeted differently.

“Didn’t I tell you it wouldn’t be long before cake?” Sam teased.

“Someone couldn’t keep their hands off.”

Bucky’s voice had surprised her. As her eyes snapped to his, there wasn’t the playful gleam within his eyes. If anything, he was hiding the glare that wanted to form. He sent a wink her way before he brought the beer bottle up to his lips. The subtle message that he agreed and wouldn’t take it back. He’d keep the new charade up as long as she left just as he asked.

“Enough of that!” Nat said before Y/N could respond. She came over to Y/N and began leading her to stand in front of the cake. “Let’s sing and cut the cake before they decide to disappear again.”

The instant Y/N was in place, Nat began to light the candles on the cake quickly. But her eyes never left Bucky as he moved to stand closer to her for the time being. The others gathered around and it wasn’t long before a countdown started and the singing began. Taking Y/N’s full attention.

From the opposite side of the cake, she watched as the people who had become her friends over the last several years sing to her. The smiles on their faces as they had were something she’d never forget. And as her eyes landed on Bucky, he too had been participating just as she asked him too. The sparkler candles adding the right touch to the memory she was creating in her mind. The memory she’d keep with her for as long as she could after she left. The and only birthday celebrated with them all.

As the song came to an end, she could see the way Bucky’s eyes had been on anywhere else but her. He had even stopped singing mid song before the others had even finished singing. The ‘normal’ coming to an end.

While every one told her to make some kind of wish, Y/N couldn’t bring herself to. While she could wish for anything and everything to take back today, and even the last few years she would. But the damage had been done. There was no going back now.

I’m sorry. She thought as she blew out the candles.

In the midst of the cheers and the cake being moved away, Y/N was gone from sight. The only one who noticed it at first was Bucky. He watched her the whole entire time. He watched as she manuevored out of sight from the others and down towards the hall.

The moment she was gone from sight, Bucky’s body slumped slightly. The tension in his body leaving as he sat himself down in the nearest chair. The action hadn’t go unnoticed by some of his friends.

“You alright Buck?” Steve’s voice filled his ears as caught his movement in his peripheral taking a seat next to him.

“Give me the rest of tonight to give you an answer to that.” He said even though his eyes never left the hallway.

He had hardly got a grip on the situation himself. He was still processing the information, her words on a loop in his head, along with the hurt he was feeling had his mind spinning. Because how could he begin to explain that the woman they all cared for had been lying for years?

“Where’d Y/N go?” Steve asked keeping his attention on Bucky.

Bucky shrugged his shoulders, trying to keep his emotions at bay. “Your guess is as good as mine.” He finally brought his attention to Steve. “I just need time to give you the ‘why’ of it all.”

After years of freedom from the organization that manipulated, used, and tormented him, Hydra sure had a way of making its presence known in his life even after being destroyed. The relief of freedom he felt had been taken away from him the moment he had opened that file. And the genuine happiness he felt had been shattered to pieces the moment she confirmed his thoughts.

MCU Masterlist || Fandom Masterlist || Taglist

All WorksTag (The tag to be notified for everything I write):

@mrs-maximoff-kenner @mizzzpink @friendelius @thatfanficstuff @mushroomelephant @23victoria @avengers-fixation

Excelsior Tag(All MCU fics):

@hellotvshowtrash @dpaccione @old-enough-to-know-better73 @elijahs-wife @kpopgirlbtssvt @theartofhotchinthesnow @bluebear142077 @thatweirdoleigh @loving-life-my-way

Winter Soldier tag(For only and all things Bucky):

@mqravdcrs @fandom-princess-forevermore @freyathehuntress

#mcu fics #mcu fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #reader insert #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #bucky barnes angst #make it angsty celebration #Make it Angsty #betrayal

279 notes · View notes

tsarisfanfiction · 8 months

Text

Lodged Thorn: Chapter 1

Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rating: Teen Genre: Friendship/Hurt/Comfort Characters: Clarisse, Michael, Chris Soulmarks weren't supposed to hurt when they came in. Then again, soulmarks weren't supposed to immediately start fading, either. So this is the fault of The Fanfic Reading Challenge server on discord, with all their talk about Soulmate AUs reminding me that I've never written one. Being me, of course, I've gone the Platonic Soulmate route, and I am still firmly in Michael&Clarisse brainrot, so the result was rather obvious... I don't think this'll be more than two or three chapters; it's just an experimental fic so I'll be working on it as and when my muses engage.

A sharp pain tore through Clarisse’s leg and she stumbled, falling to one knee and barely bracing her hand against the ground to stop herself from overbalancing entirely. “Shit,” she hissed, teeth clenching against the pain as she forced herself to breathe through it.

“Clarisse!” Chris fretted, instantly joining her on the ground. “What happened?” Around the two of them, armour creaked and weapons clattered as her siblings jumped into a defensive circle, no doubt searching for the threat.

She’d say she’d trained them well, except she knew they were all agitated at being held back from the war, their nerves on a hair-trigger for anything involving conflict. She was the same way, no matter that she was pressing down on it with all her might, because she was not jumping into this war, not leading her siblings to fight a war for their father when Ares had always made it clear that everyone should fight their own battles.

Ares would fight to defend his own throne. He did not need – would not want – his children to take that away from him.

It was a weak excuse and she knew it. All of her siblings knew it. She hadn’t even admitted it to anyone that wasn’t an Ares kid – or Chris, because Chris was her partner. The chariot, the argument with Michael (another one, because the short bastard never failed to get under her skin), had made a better excuse, or at least one she was willing to verbalise.

Another bolt of pain shot straight through her leg and she cursed again, hand clutching at the spot in her thigh that burned white hot and intense.

Darker hands covered hers, trying to nudge it out of the way.

“Let me see,” Chris pleaded. If it was anyone else, Clarisse would’ve shoved them away roughly, but it was Chris and while there was no reason for her leg to suddenly be in agony when they were within the bounds of camp, and as far as she could tell nothing was even trying to threaten them, she understood why he wanted to check.

“Sherman, take everyone on another perimeter check,” she ordered. “Make sure camp isn’t under attack.” Her brother grimaced as though it was his leg that hurt, but knew better than to protest. Within moments, he had their cabin dispersing into their patrol routes, leaving her alone with Chris.

Her boyfriend wouldn’t be taking no for an answer now that they had no audience, and Clarisse also wanted to know what the Hades was happening to her leg, so she let him help her tug her pants off until her thigh was visible.

Chris spotted it first, eyes going wide. “Uh… Clarisse?”

“What?” she snapped, moving her hands out of her line of sight until she could see- “Shit.”

Her thigh was uninjured, but not unmarked. Blooming over old scar tissue was the shape of a thorn – a rose thorn, her mind supplied uselessly, trivia picked up from her friendship with Silena.

“That’s your soulmark,” Chris said numbly. Clarisse kept her jaw clenched tightly against the pain.

Soulmarks were generally considered to be a sign from some higher power. Different religions had different views on what, exactly, caused them, and Camp Half-Blood was of the general opinion that they were the Fates’ responsibility. No-one had come up with a pattern in when they appeared, and people tended to only have one, an image that somehow linked two people together on a soul level, hence soulmark. Soulmates were not romantic – not that it was unheard of for a soulmated pair to choose to be romantically involved, although it wasn’t overly common, either. Instead, soulmates were platonic first and foremost. Maybe a best friend, sometimes a sibling (often the case, at camp, where sibling was a broad category that encompassed so many people), always a constant.

Soulmarks were not supposed to hurt like Tartarus when they formed. Clarisse had seen enough campers gain them over the years to know that it was a painless affair, often not even noticed until someone happened to spot the new mark on skin.

“What the fuck,” Clarisse growled at the new image on her thigh, and not just because of the pain that wasn’t supposed to be there. The mark had formed over one of her scars, exactly over the old mark she’d got when she was nine and the new kid at camp had shot her. Deliberately. There was no way it was a coincidence, not when the thorn was golden and she’d always thought of the asshole as a thorn in her side.

Her soulmate was Michael and the Fates were assholes for it.

Trust Michael to still find a way to be a pain even when he was away, fighting a war in Manhattan.

“That bastard,” she snarled. “That absolute…”

Going on a tirade about him at least distracted her from the pain, if nothing else. Clarisse tore her eyes away from the offending image as she did so, spitting profanities to the sky and balling her hands up into fists. She hoped his mark coming in had hurt just as much.

“Clarisse.”

Chris’ quiet voice cut her off. He sounded wrong, looked wrong, skin paling.

“What?” she demanded, barely softening her voice because she was angry, dammit. Why- how- was it Michael?

Her boyfriend’s next words felt like a bucket of ice water had been tipped over her. “It’s fading.”

His voice shook, and Clarisse didn’t miss how his hand came up to grip at his shoulder, where she knew a faint silvery-grey outline of a feather hid under his clothes.

Chris hadn’t had his soulmark when he’d gone to join Kronos. When Clarisse had hauled him, insane and insensate, out of the Labyrinth two years later, it was already faded.

It took longer for her to look back down at the damn thorn on her thigh, but when she did, she could see that Chris was right. The golden colour was leaching away in a gradient. Already, the sharp tip of the thorn had gone the tell-tale silvery-grey.

Michael was her soulmate.

Michael was dying.

She’d told him she hoped he died, a parting shot even after he gave up the damn chariot and proceeded to call her as many names as she’d had in store for him. They weren’t strangers to death – even before this last stand at Manhattan, demigods had been dying. She’d known exactly what she’d been hoping for – or had thought she had, back when she was ignorant about their soulmate deal.

Clarisse didn’t want to care, even now. Finding out he was her soulmate didn’t make her suddenly like him, or even hate him any less. He was still an asshole and maybe she’d do better without him.

“Clarisse,” Chris said quietly. His dark eyes were still locked on her soulmark, and his hand was shaking against his shoulder.

Her name had been Mary, he’d told her, once he was sane again. That had eased the sting of when he’d called her Mary, not Clarisse, while in the throes of insanity. He hadn’t known her long, but she’d been his soulmate and her death had been part of what broke him.

“He’s in Manhattan,” she protested. “There’s no way-” Even if she could make it in time, before her mark faded, leaving the gold nothing but a brief memory, she wasn’t a healer. She wouldn’t be able to save his life.

Chris’ voice still trembled. “You have to try,” he said, insisted. “Even if it’s not enough, you- you have to try. Don’t- No regrets. No regrets, Clarisse.”

Clarisse wanted to say she wouldn’t regret not going. She wouldn’t regret leaving Michael to his clearly inevitable fate. If anyone else had told her she would, she’d have punted them out of her sight.

But this was Chris. Chris, who knew regret. Who knew how it felt to lose a soulmate, who knew things in a way she couldn’t.

Who didn’t want to even risk her feeling the same way he did.

“I’ll be too late,” she said, but she was already pulling herself to her feet again, tugging her pants back up and grabbing her spear from where she had dropped it when the pain began.

It still hurt, but it was a pain she could push aside, a pain that let itself be pushed aside.

Part of Clarisse wondered if painful soulmark appearances tied in to the imminent deaths of the soulmate, revealed too soon if only for closure.

She didn’t bother to grab her armour. The thought that she should barely occurred to her; she had her spear, she could fight.

She was only going because Michael was a bastard who she suddenly needed to try and make sure didn’t die. She wasn’t going to join the war.

It was a matter of minutes before she had the pegasi harnessed to the flying chariot and ready to go, and Clarisse didn’t let herself hesitate as she swung herself up into it. Chris jumped up behind her without asking, without her asking, but Clarisse didn’t protest.

“Where are you going?” Ellis was quiet but observant; Clarisse hadn’t noticed the younger boy until he called out. If it was Sherman, she might have told him the truth, but Ellis was too young – and too smart – to hear about a dying soulmate.

“Patrol,” she said shortly. “Tell Sherman he’s in charge until we get back.”

“What about your leg?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Clarisse snapped the reigns and the pegasi leaped into action, charging forwards and into the sky before Ellis could make any more complaints – or astute observations.

“You could’ve told him,” Chris murmured in her ear, his arms wrapped around her waist as they flew.

She shook her head. “They need to stay here,” she said. They needed to stay in camp, guarding camp from any side-blows Kronos might get it into his head to initiate, and also away from the front line of a war that would get them killed as shields for the rest of the campers. If they realised she was running to the war front, regardless of the reason, they’d have used that as an excuse to jump into battle.

Pressed against her back, with only clothes and no armour between them, Clarisse could feel him still shaking. “You didn’t have to come,” she said.

“Yes, I did,” he argued. “You’ll need me, whatever happens.” Even above the wind rushing past them, she could hear him take in a deep breath, “and I think… I need this. He’s not Mary, he’s not mine, but… I have to try, this time.”

“Her death wasn’t your fault,” Clarisse said bluntly, and not for the first time. Chris’ usual response of I know that, but… didn’t come.

“And if Michael dies, it won’t be your fault,” he told her instead, and Clarisse felt like the air had been punched out of her as her leg gave a reminding throb.

“I know that,” she said quickly – too quickly, dammit. “He’s too far away.” She couldn’t even see her soulmark to check how quickly it was fading, but it was still hurting so that had to mean he was still alive, didn’t it? “This is as fast as the chariot goes.” They were hurtling through the sky, far faster than mortal transportation could cross the distance between camp and Manhattan, but it was still going to take time to get there.

The odds of Michael being still alive, or even still saveable, by the time they arrived were slim and there was nothing she could do about it. She knew that, of course it wouldn’t be her fault for not getting there fast enough – and besides, she’d already told Michael to die, prepared to not see his scowling, ferrety asshole face again.

She’d told him to die, though, and now he was dying, and it was stupid but there was part of Clarisse’s chest that was getting too tight. Shit.

Chris’ “I know you do,” was full of understanding.

Their flight passed in silence after that, Clarisse pushing the pegasi as fast as they could fly and ignoring Silena’s voice in the back of her head telling her that she was going too hard on the creatures. Instead, she found her head whirling, running through all her moments with Michael throughout her life and trying to work out where the fuck the Fates saw soulmate in there, because Clarisse couldn’t.

Maybe she had misinterpreted the soulmark. That wasn’t common but could happen; the only confirmation was a matching image on the other’s skin, and until she saw Michael she wouldn’t know – and if his was also on his thigh, she wasn’t going to be seeing that ever, unless she tore his pants off to check. Misinterpretation seemed more likely than it actually being Michael, now that she thought about it, but she was already on a mission, and Chris wouldn’t let her bail out of it without checking.

Hades, but Michael was going to be insufferable if he was perfectly fine and she landed in front of him without even bringing her armour to a war.

Eventually, Manhattan loomed in front of them. It was big, big enough that looking for a single demigod would be like searching for a needle in a haystack. From her birds’ eye view, nothing seemed to be even moving, leaving the city looking dead.

The bridges she flew over bore signs of battle, though. Vines curled out of a tunnel, and chunks of masonry were dislodged in a way that only violence could cause. Where was everyone?

She almost flew in straight towards the towering Empire State Building – if nothing else, they would be near Olympus – but a small instinct in the back of her mind had her veering around the city, following the waters that isolated the island from the rest of New York. Past the Hudson, and over the East River instead.

Williamsburg Bridge was obliterated. What had once been a large, proud bridge was a mass of steel and concrete churned up together in the middle of the river, with only solitary suspension cables still bridging the destruction.

Behind her, Chris breathed out Hades.

Demigods had died here. There was no way they hadn’t. She could even see bodies in the wreckage and surrounding river, although none of them wore orange. Enemy demigods, then.

There was no sign of the living, but Clarisse still brought the chariot down, skimming the bizarrely clean waters – what had Jackson done, that had to be the son of Poseidon’s bullshit powers at work – past floating debris and bodies, until she saw it.

There, on the bank, sopping wet and broken, was a too-small body that had her thigh hurting again, and Clarisse wasted no time in bringing the chariot to land next to it, leaping out before the pegasi had even stopped and leaving Chris to scramble out behind her.

Michael looked dead.

Blood covered the side of his face, an open gash running from temple to cheek and barely missing his eye. His body was twisted and contorted in a way that was wrong, no doubt several broken bones. A spindle of metal erupted from his torso, staining the torn orange top dark red.

Worst of all was the certainty. From the moment she'd spotted him, she'd known he was her soulmate, no need to tear at his pant leg to hunt down a matching mark.

“Shit,” she swore, stumbling down to her knees for the second time since dawn because of Michael, of all people. He was still partially in the water and her shins soaked immediately. “Shit. Don't you dare be dead, you asshole.” Her fingers fumbled at his throat, hunting for a pulse. “Don't you fucking dare, Michael.” Blood and damp skin made it difficult to get a purchase, and Clarisse realised she was shaking as her fingers kept slipping away from his pulse points with no success. “Come on, dammit.” She couldn’t even see if he was breathing.

“Clarisse, he's got a pulse,” Chris said suddenly. She jumped, not having noticed him kneeling next to her. He had one of Michael’s wrists in his grip, and Clarisse tried not to think about how lifeless his limp and dangling hand looked. “There's still a chance.”

A chance, but… “I don't know what to do,” she admitted. She wasn’t a healer - she broke things, she didn't fix them.

“Check if he’s breathing,” Chris directed. He sounded calmer, now, as though Michael being not dead yet was the trigger he needed to get out of his own soulmate trauma. Clarisse heard him rustling with a bag she hadn’t realised he’d brought with them, but focused on doing as she was told, dredging up memories of various Apollo kids over the years as they drilled basic first aid into the rest of the campers over and over again.

It was the closest she’d ever got to Michael without one of them trying to hurt the other, either physically or with barbed words, but she shunted the thought out her mind in favour of leaning over him, her cheek almost touching his lips as she squinted down the wonky line of his body. He wasn’t flat on his back, which meant that she couldn’t really see if his chest was rising and falling, and with the metal spire sticking out of him, she wasn’t about to move him, but she could still focus on her cheek, and the faint tickling sensation of air puffing against it.

“He’s breathing,” she reported, pulling back without taking her eyes off his limp body. It seemed impossible that he was still alive. Clarisse had the horrid suspicion that one wrong action would tip him over the edge, and feared being the one to do it.

Only a few hours ago, she wouldn’t have cared. She still hated Michael; a single soulmark wasn’t enough to undo seven years of constant clashes.

She didn’t want him to die.

“Good,” Chris said. “Here.” She sensed movement in her periphery and glanced over to see her boyfriend holding out a vial of nectar. “I don’t know how much he’s got in his system already so go slow with it. You know the signs of reaching the limit.”

Clarisse took the vial, pulling out the stopper with her teeth. “You are never living this down, you hear me?” she told the unresponsive Michael as she slipped a hand underneath his head, her fingers getting tangled in snarled, wet hair, and slowly tilted it enough to straighten out his throat and part his lips. He didn’t stir, no indication at all that he was anything other than dying, and Clarisse tipped the first drops into his open mouth.

In her periphery, Chris was moving around, flashes of off-white bandages flickering across the edge of her vision, but Clarisse didn’t let herself look away from the golden liquid as drop by drop, it landed on Michael’s tongue and slid towards his throat.

“Come on,” she growled as the first third of the vial disappeared with no visible effects. “Show some signs of life, dammit. This stuff is too valuable to waste on a dead body.”

Michael didn’t stir, even as a third turned into a half, and then two thirds. A golden drop landed on the corner of his mouth, trickling down the outside of his face and she growled at it – at her hand, which had started shaking, until it steadied enough for the rest of the vial to trickle inside his mouth, where it was supposed to be.

He must not have had any godly food earlier, because even with an entire vial – and not a small one, either – there were no tell-tale signs of smouldering lips or tongue. Clarisse dropped the empty vial and before her brain could catch up with her actions, caught the single drop now on his cheek with a finger, dabbing it directly on his tongue.

“Come on, you bastard,” she hissed. “You are not dying on me now.”

She hunted for his pulse again, this time finding the spot on his neck that throbbed lightly.

“Is he still breathing?” Chris asked her. She glanced at him to see that he’d packed bandages around the metal sticking though Michael and was securing them in place with more bandages.

When she ducked her head back down, the puffs of air that hit her cheek felt stronger.

“Still breathing,” she confirmed. “What now?”

“We can’t stay here,” Chris said. “We don’t have the supplies to do any more where we are.”

Clarisse sat back on her haunches and looked at the still-crumpled body between them. “Can we move him?” she asked, although Chris was right. They couldn’t stay where they were. They didn’t know where the titan’s army or the rest of the campers were, or where the next stage of the battle would take place.

Hades, they didn’t even know which side of the battlelines they were. She had an awful suspicion they weren’t in allied territory.

If they were, someone else would’ve come across them by now. Michael wasn’t popular outside of his cabin – Clarisse wasn’t the only one that didn’t like him, which had made all the head counsellors siding with him over her about the chariot hurt even more – but even if no-one else had bothered, the other Apollo kids would still have come to try and help him, if they could.

“Carefully,” Chris stressed. “I’ll bring the chariot closer.”

He stepped away and Clarisse’s attention snapped back to Michael. He still looked pale, underneath the blood. Chris had only bound the impalement, leaving the rest of his wounds untouched, and Clarisse grabbed for the bag, needing something do to while her boyfriend wrangled the pegasi. She’d rather be the one dealing with the chariot, but given Michael was her soulmate, she knew why Chris had swapped roles.

“You are still a bastard,” she told Michael as she wrenched out a cloth and pressed it against the blood on his face. She didn’t have any water to dampen it (the East River might look clean, but she still wasn’t going to trust it) and there was only so much it could do to lift the blood dry, but even clearing some of it away made Michael seem less dead.

She haphazardly covered the gash in gauze and medical tape, a temporary solution until they got back to camp – they had to go back to camp, her cabin were waiting, and even if they found the Apollo kids in Manhattan, there was no guarantee of a safe place to leave a half-dead demigod. Camp was further, but was more likely to keep Michael alive.

Hooves sank into the soft bank next to her, passing by until the open end of the chariot sat next to Michael, and Chris reappeared.

“One of us will need to hold him,” he pointed out. “You or me?”

The chariot was Clarisse’s. “I’ll drive,” she said.

There was also no fucking way she was holding onto Michael for the hour it would take them to get back to camp. Soulmate or not, that was too far.

Chris agreed easily. “Help me lift him up?” he asked, crouching down next to him and gingerly starting to move him. Clarisse knelt on Michael’s other side, painfully aware of how small and fragile he was as, between them, they manoeuvred him onto his back. The metal spur shifted slightly, red starting to bloom on the white bandages surrounding it, and she cursed.

There was nothing they could do about it, though, and Chris scooped him up into his arms as soon as he could. Michael’s head lolled limply, and his right arm slipped to dangle down as Chris stood up. Clarisse grabbed it without thinking, and was halfway to setting it back on Michael’s chest when she saw it.

On the pad of Michael’s pointer finger, the same colour as freshly spilled blood, was a thorn, the exact size and shape as the golden thorn on her thigh.

It hadn’t occurred to her that Michael’s soulmark would be somewhere else on his body, for all that it was hardly uncommon for placements to be different. Now she saw it, though, it was obvious. Her mark was where the arrow had landed, seven years ago. His mark was on one of the fingers that had fired it.

“Clarisse?”

Hurriedly, she let go of the arm, and stepped out of the way so that Chris could step into the chariot. He sat down at the front, his grip on Michael obviously firm, and Clarisse wasted no time in hopping in after him, snatching up the reins and bracing herself for take-off.

Chris and Michael didn’t quite slam into her legs as the pegasi lurched forwards, but she still felt the touch as gravity tried to stake its claim on them, and braced harder. It was easier to be the barrier than the cradle. Still, she kept the acceleration gradual, not letting the pegasi immediately blast into top speed as they flew away from Manhattan and the war – or what seemed more like a temporary cease-fire, from the utter stillness of the city beneath them.

It meant that the flight took longer, and Clarisse couldn’t help the periodic glances down at her boyfriend holding Michael – her soulmate and that still felt as wrong as it did right – hoping that they’d made the right decision to move. That she’d made the right decision to head for camp and the infirmary there rather than hunting down the temporary triage the Apollo kids had no doubt set up somewhere.

Somehow, Michael was still alive when the chariot touched down by the Big House over an hour later, and Clarisse jumped out of the way so Chris could hurry inside the infirmary with him. She didn’t follow him immediately, buying herself some time to think as she unhitched the pegasi and led them back to their stables.

The thinking time flew straight out the window as she reached the stables to see that all the horses had gone. There should’ve been several of them there, but not a single one remained. All of their tack had gone, too, and an encroaching feeling of dread had her running to where the chariots were kept.

Gone.

All gone.

“Sherman!” she roared, abandoning the stables and throwing herself towards her cabin, already knowing it would be empty but hoping that her siblings hadn’t surrendered to the urge to go to war and marched out without her – behind her back.

Unsurprisingly, it was deserted. All their weapons were gone, and their armour, too.

Clarisse’s armour was also gone.

What the fuck? Why had they taken her armour with them?

Why hadn’t she seen them go? She’d flown right over the route they must’ve taken-

Except she hadn’t been looking down. Not at the ground. Her attention had been ahead, at her destination, and at her feet, where Michael’s blood had been slowly staining white bandages red, and sinking into Chris’ clothes, too. Her pants hadn’t escaped, either.

Blood on her pants didn’t matter. What mattered was that her siblings had marched to war despite her best efforts to stop them. Clarisse spun sharply on her heel and stormed out of the cabin, heading straight for the infirmary.

Michael or no Michael, soulmate or no soulmate, she knew where she was supposed to be and it was at the head of her cabin.

“They’ve gone!” she raged as she stormed into the infirmary. “All the chariots, all our weapons. Sherwin’s marched them to war!”

Chris’ head jerked up from where he was standing over one of the infirmary beds. Clarisse deliberately didn’t look at the small body laying on it.

“I’m going after them,” she said, before her boyfriend could say anything. “You-”

“Okay,” Chris interrupted her. “Okay, but before you go, I need your help here.”

“I don’t have time to waste!” she argued. “They could have left immediately-”

“The pegasi need a rest,” he overrode her. “You can’t go charging back out there after pushing them so hard already today. Let them breathe. They’re still faster than the other chariots – you’ll make up most of the time even if you hang on another five minutes, and I need your help here. Now.”

It was the sharp now that caught her attention, and she reluctantly trudged closer, unable to help looking at Michael as she did so. The metal was still sticking up out of him ominously, and the surrounding bandages looked close to saturation. Chris had somehow stripped Michael down to the waist despite it, and Clarisse could finally see the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

The sight settled something in her, although it barely touched the agitation at her missing siblings. He was still alive.

Her soulmate was still alive.

Her soulmate or her siblings?

Clarisse scowled. “Five minutes only,” she said, glaring at Michael. It was his fault she was delaying, still a thorn in her side even when he was unconscious. “What is it?”

“This needs to come out,” Chris said, gesturing at the metal. It glistened in the light of the infirmary, beads of blood pooling in its twists. “I need you to put as much pressure as you can on the bandages while I extract it.”

“Fine,” Clarisse said shortly, crossing the last few steps to Michael’s bedside. The blood-soaked bandages felt wrong under her fingers, and so did the idea of leaning on the wound with all her strength, but she knew Chris was right.

The metal had to come out, and Michael had to not bleed out in the process.

She braced herself, pushing down hard enough that a split-second choked cry came from the unconscious teen’s mouth, making her jump. The unconscious weren’t supposed to make noises, although she thought it was supposed to be a good sign that he was responding to some stimuli again.

Chris ignored the noise. He’d pulled on gloves, and wrapped his hands firmly around the metal. “On three,” he said. “One… Two… Three.” On three, he pulled, and Clarisse had to fight to keep Michael’s body flat against the bed, and at least some of his blood still in his body as the twisted spire of metal slowly tore itself free.

Michael let out another cry and his fingers jerked, but a glance at his face showed that he was still completely unconscious. Clarisse scowled and pressed down harder as blood started to leak through the bandages.

As soon as the metal was clear, Chris was working around her hands, flushing out the wound and starting to stitch it up. Clarisse could do nothing except stay still and will Michael’s blood to stay in his body, where it was supposed to be.

It was much longer than five minutes before Chris was done, pulling away the last of the blood-soaked bandages and covering the stitched-up wound with fresh supplies.

“He was lucky,” he said as he stripped the bloodied gloves from his hands. “It didn’t go all the way through, and it was far enough away from his core that it didn’t puncture anything fatal.” He sagged against the bed. “I’m not an Apollo kid, but I think he should pull through.”

Clarisse hadn’t realised how much she needed to hear those words until they washed over her.

Fuck Michael for being her soulmate and suddenly being important to her. Maybe he was tolerable while unconscious and near-death, but as soon as he was awake and talking again, she was going to remember why she hated him so much, she knew. He was going to be insufferable about being her soulmate and she was going to wish she’d left him to die.

“I’ll stay here and keep an eye on him,” Chris continued. “Are you still going after your cabin?” That was a stupid question she knew he already knew the answer to.

“Those idiots need me,” she said, “and I’m going to kick their asses for entering the war!”

“Okay,” he accepted. “Be careful, and if I see even a hint of grey on Michael’s finger, I’m going to kill you, even if I have to bring you back from the Underworld first.”

Clarisse glanced down at the finger in question. The thorn was still full of colour, unapologetically red and confirming that Clarisse, at least, was in no imminent danger of death where she stood. She found herself wishing that her own mark was somewhere easier to check, before pushing the thought out of her mind.

She was going to war. She did not need distractions.

“You won’t have to,” she swore. He gave her a thin smile and stood up, bracing his hands on her shoulders.

“Give them hell,” he said. “Then come back.” He kissed her, briefly but firmly. “We’ll be waiting.”

She glanced back over at Michael instinctively; he looked better without metal sticking out of him, but he still didn’t look well. Her feet dragged her over to his side and she looked down at him, crossing her arms.

“Don’t you fucking dare die on me now, Michael,” she said. “I need your ass alive so I can kick it later for being my soulmate.” And scaring me when you’re not supposed to be someone I care about.

Chris chuckled. “I’ll do my best to make sure he doesn’t,” he promised. “Shoo. You’ve got a war to fight.”

“Damn straight I do,” she growled, and with one last glance at both of them, boyfriend and soulmate (both safely away from the war and staying that way), she spun on her heel and marched out.

It was time for the daughter of war to fight.

tbc...

#percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson fanfiction #riordanverse #riordanverse fanfic #clarisse la rue #michael yew #chris rodriguez #sherman yang #ellis wakefield #tsari writes fanfiction #soulmate au #lodged thorn

13 notes · View notes

neonscandal · 7 months

Note

So excited to know that you also love Link Click...! I watched it first before JJK (I know, still kinda new in thw fandom), so Cheng Xiaoshi/ Lu Guang are special to me. And after 2nd season with that finale, wow, for me it feels like came out of a fanfic. So when I got to know Gojo/ Geto somehow they remind me of Cheng Xiaoshi/ Lu Guang, cause both couples are doomed by the narative....

And what do you think after you finished TGCF? Have you read the novels? Just so you know, it is worth it to collect the books. Their story is that good. Also when you finished it, most likely you'll also have some non-canon fav couples (I have 4 non canon fav couples from TGCF)....And have you watch MDZS or SVSSS?

Sorry for my rambling, MXTX is one of my favorite author ever and I like to talk about their works. (And now I'm still depressed with the latest JJK update and nervous with the BNHA update)......

OMG SEASON TWO FINALE OF LINK CLICK ABSOLUTELY SLAYED ME. Lu Guang, the enigma that you are. This whole time!? What a damn reveal! Just thinking about it, tbh, I'm gagged. I like to guess at things, obviously, but just never even fathomed.

I don't know if I'd mentioned that before RE: Gojo and Geto but same. It might be on an anime recommendation draft 😅 Like, sure, their character design is an obvious indication but it's really all the anguish bubbling just beneath the surface. And now I need to read all the source material because I'm not sure I can wait for them to animate (even though the animation is just 😘👌🏾

For background on my experience while watching TGCF, there are a lot of cultural/religious things that were completely out of my current realm of understanding re: ascension, conditions/relation of the supernatural beings discussed, etc. but I was still able to really enjoy it without and prompted curiosity to learn more before jumping into the novels. Like, having watched and read media informed by Japanese culture (and growing up on Inuyasha), you understand the idea of youkai, general types and their dispositions, even some religious aspects to practices by priestesses and even everyday people, etc. so it's a little easier to navigate. So getting into Chinese media of a certain time period where those beliefs and practices inform the story was a challenge but it also just kind of opens your eyes to how much you don't know which is exciting. I absolutely want to check out the books because I need to know Xie Lian's whole origin (including his 17th birthday and his parents backstory) and what transpired to have created the delicate soft spot San Lung has for him. I hadn't heard of SVSSS yet but MDZS is on my TBW and I'm wondering if watching it will help clarify my confusion from TGCF or if I should do some research ahead of time so I'm not as lost.

Never apologize, I love when people are inspired and passionate! Lol and makes the conversation I have with you guys feel less one sided (with my disproportionate essay responses haha). 💛 I'm sure I'll post when I start watching/reading any of the above so we can reconvene! I'm currently finishing up Stars Align and, from what I've gathered might need to add this to my TBR to get a satisfactory end to things, too. 😭

I've been running on an empty battery lately so Tumblr's really the only social media platform I've been consistently perusing and posting on (RIP to twitter, insta and tiktok, ig). The upside of this being that I see JJK and BNHA leaks less frequently so I'm out here living in ignorant bliss ✨ So if you're out in these virtual streets, be safe out there, anon!

#neon asks #anon asks #anime #manga #donghua #manhua #danmei #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven officials blessing #hob #link click

9 notes · View notes

ilivemydreamsthere · 2 years

Text

You matter

Hello ,

I bring you my first fic in station 19 fandom. Its Maya Bishop x reader (where reader is nurse in hospital)

Enjoy

(Also thank you @nattspencer for supporting me with this story)

"Hey y/ n are you okay ?" You raised your eyes and find out that one of the most beautiful women from the Seattle department stands before you. She was so beautiful in your eyes. Always when you stumble across yourself at hospital or at bar when you and your friends meet Andy Herrera and Vic and Maya.

You sighed and shaked head.Maya sit next to you and you raised an eyebrow but then blushed a little bit cause she took your hand without hesitation. She knows you are just a nurse at the ER.

"How do you deal with loss as a firefighter?" You asked slowly and she gave you a small smile which made her even more beautiful.

"We struggle as you in hospital don't think we don't. If we are here and someone die under mine hands it's not something I shake down quickly " she said and holds on your hand tight for a moment and your eyes met for a moment. The darkness of the coming evening hides both of you from the curious eyes of others. "Someone died?" She asked.

"Yes and I was told it was because I had made a mistake. Well told its understanding I was more like yelled at. " You shaked head and try to not let the tears fall.

"We are free for a few hours. Your shift is ending anyway right ?" She spoke softly.

"Yeah it's. Where will we go?" She give your hand a squeeze. "To station of course. You can have shower here and I will take you home in few hours it's not a problem "

"You are amazing!" You chuckled and jumped down from the small wall you had been sitting on and pulled Maya down too.

She chuckled little " Easy tiger come " she did accompany you to their firefighters car. She did let your hand moment before you arrived to car. "Just go in backseat I will spoke with Andy " she said and let you get on back seat before going inside car.

"We will have company " She spoke in the walkie talkie and you realize she spoke to Andy about you. "I saw you and y/ n what happened?" She asked and looked back to back seat where you had been. "I lost someone " you spoke looking down again.

"I know the rules but can this stay between the two of us? Your father …."

"Have understanding for lose " Andy spoke and you have to smile. Capitan seems to be like very strict but kind man.

"Thank you " You said and smiled when Maya started the engine and the firefighters vehicle left the parking lot before the hospital.

"Bishop to capitan. We are on the way from the hospital where the kiddo is in Dr. Deluca hands. " Maya spoke and you could hear Andy speak to you.

"May was incredible. She did pulled kid from the wheel which seems to be crashing inside itself " she looked back to you.

"Oh I always feel like I am in the company of heroes with you " You joked but you also felt sad. You know you didn't make a mistake but the way the doctor yells at you still resonates with you. You signed little and it seem Andy understood you felt like a mess.

"You matter too, you know. Even when others don't show it you matter " Mayas voice bring you back in reality when she stopped inside station and Andy leave the car.

"Thank you " You said and fix your long hair a bit. You meet her eyes. You had to smile. "It's okay if I take shower?" You ask and jump out of the firefighters car.

"Of course come " that way she pulled you in the shower without noticing capitan smiling for himself cause despite being strict he also wished best to his team amd it seems he thought high of you. That way you in your light blue uniform and Maya in black fire fighters wore went to the shower. She rolled her eyes when you both could hear Gibson and Miller spoke and get undress as well. Andy wasn't nowhere to see as Vic and you remind alone with Maya realising you watch her undress without intention at first. First was fire proof jacket then trousers and you could see she was wearing uniform under it. You seen her in uniform many times but right now with smile she had on face. You seems like you finnaly understood. You finally understood why were so many women obssed with watching firefighters. She was stunning and beautiful.

"Youuuu are staring "her voice wake up you from your own thoughts.

"I am noooot! Well maybe a bit. I just realise why women can be obssed with firefighters. You know It just finally click in " You laughed and to your suprise she was one who blushed little. "You didn't understand it before?" She chuckled and started to walk with you to the bathroom.

"Not really " You admitted and the look she gave you tell you she know something you didn't admit to yourself yet.

"Intresting " She said and let you in bathroom and lock behinde yourself and you. This way you could see huge bathroom with shower on one side of room and toilet and bath on second.

"Why?" You asked quietly and suddenly realise you feel excitement being alone with her.

"Maybe I am wrong " She said and starts to undress her uniform. "But tell me your relationships sucks don't they? These with men ?" She asked and you finally feel warm feeling inside herself the one everyone describe when they spoke of attraction.

"They do, " You admitted pulling your blue shirt down.

"Maybe you should look over some women instead " She said and you felt like her gaze is burning in to your soul.

"Like yourself?" Your voice sounds a bit raspy as you spoke back. You didn't know what get in to you but it seems natural.

"Maybe yes. " Maya said softly and your eyes meet. You watched her coming closer you.

"Maybe? I think you are so beautiful. I always thought so " You spoke looking up to her eyes Maya had been a bit more tall then you.

It seems it was all the firefighter need. She touched your face gently with her thumb and your lips went suddenly so dry.

"I remember when we first met. You barely seen me. Complaining your colleague about something the doctor did wrong in your eyes. And I thought. Oh that's it. It's her. She is beautiful " You forget how to breath when she said that. You just look at her eyes and gently touched her face.

She was one who leaned in and kissed your lips. She was gentle at first but all that till the moment she realized she didn't scare you and you answered on the kiss. Your body pressed closer to each other and all you could hold her and keep tasting her beautiful lips. You forget everything. On the doctor who yelled at you and the entire word. It was all gone. Your thoughts screamed that Maya is kissing you! She pressed closer you and you felt her heart beat as strong as yours. She make you step right under shower and lean you about wall. You moaned softly when she traced her lips on your neck.

"Hun if you still wanna do this tomorrow I will make you scream " She whispered. "But tonight. You need to rest. You need to be take care of I will do it " She said and her voice make you shiver. You open eyes and meet her eyes burning with desire and something more.

"Maya I want you now " You spoke looking to her eyes and your hands moved to her trousers you wanted to touch her wanted her close to yourself.

"Station 19 please respond, car crash on the corner …."

Maya meet your eyes and kisses you again it had been very diferent kiss then before.

"Please be there when we come back Y/ N I have to go " She grabbed her shirt from ground and watched you leaning about wall. "My bed is all yours " She said softly "it's 3rd room from there if you are hungry kitchen is on way. I have to run !" She said smiling and before you can answer she was out of door.

"Hey Bishop you even didn't had time to shower!"

"Shut up Gibson!"

You had to laugh if he would even know. You touched your lips and undress completely before making shower working. You sighed and closed your eyes. You still feel her lips on yours and her hands on your body. You sighed little bit again and make water more warm. You had been under water for long time but then when you come out and put on shirt and legins you normally wear under your work pants and come out of bathroom you realise station will be empty now probably. You just closed the door from bathroom and you could hear voice from room team of firefighters probably used like kitchen.

"Y/N ! I know Maya bring you here "

You bite your lips. Captain Herera was still here. You walked closer and lean about the door. "I am sorry sir if we broke some rules. She just wanted to take care of me " you spoke and didn't even look at him.

"Don't be afraid, no. Maya shift end in few hours too. I wanted to tell you don't need to hide."

"Thank you , its okay if I will go to bed ?" You asked and he just smile.

"Yeah " he let you go and you just leave. You walked in bedroom you understood girls share together and for moment wondering which one is Mayas till you saw her shirt throw on it. You smiled and curled soon in her bed and when you closed your eyes you could see her smile. You felt all dreamy. She bring you calmness easily. Like if nothing happened. You sighed and soon fall asleep.

You didn't know how long did you sleep before you could feel Maya arms around yourself. "Shh relax it's just me " She whisper and you closed your eyes again. "In the morning I will take you on coffee "

#station 19 #station 19 fanfiction #maya bishop #maya x reader

84 notes · View notes

themadlostgirl · 7 days

Text

Jungle Symphony

*I am rewatching OUAT with my friends and we got to the Neverland arc and it reminded me that I was/am involved in this fandom and there are requests in my inbox that haunt me. So I'm gonna try and bang those out while the obsession is back! Even if they are hella late...*

Pairing: Felix x GN|Reader

Prompt: Felix and Reader share a sweet but awkward dance.

~~~

Another hot balmy night in Neverland. The Lost Boys were having a grand old time, dancing around a raging bonfire at camp while raucous music played. There was nothing to celebrate outside of the simple act of being alive and young and free. The boys were in an especially wild mood that night and you did not doubt that the celebration would last till morning if they could keep up the energy.

You sat nearby watching them hoot and yell and jump around the fire as if they were monkeys. For all their energy though, you could not match it. Something in you simply didn’t feel like jumping around as they did. Maybe you were tired. Maybe it was all too overstimulating. Whatever the reason, you were content to sit on the sidelines and watch. You would have liked to join them but the motivation was not there.

You had loved to dance once upon a time. You could just barely remember an old life where there were many parties and much dancing. It felt like a lifetime ago. Perhaps it had been. Time was hard to measure on a land where time stood still.

As you watched you felt a presence walk up behind you and deposit themselves on the log you occupied. You glanced over to see Felix watching the scene before you as well with a bored expression. “Evening,” you said, “What brings you to my log?”

“Boredom mostly.” he sighed.

“You’re bored at such a lively party? How is that possible?”

“You tell me. You’re also sat here.” Felix nudged your foot with the toe of his boot. “Aren’t you usually up and dancing with everyone? Why not tonight?”

You shrugged. “I’d like to dance but I don’t want to do this kind of dancing.” you explained. “I know that Neverland is about being free and dance is also freeing but sometimes I like the structure of more formal dance. This is aimless and honestly is not so much dancing but everyone jumping around.”

“Ah, I see.” Felix leaned his head back. His adam’s apple bobbed along his neck and something about the way the light of the flames caught the motion made you stare. “If you could do any kind of dance then, what kind would it be?”

“What kind? I don’t know, there are a lot to choose from.” you thought for a moment. “I want something loose and fun that can match the fast beat without losing control. Any ideas for what kind of dance that could be?”

“Not a clue.” Felix turned his head to look at you. You sucked in a sharp breath at being caught staring. He smirked. “Something wrong?”

“No. Nothing wrong at all.” you said and snapped your attention back to the fire.

Whatever attraction you had to Felix was not what concerned you. You knew how you felt and you were sure he may have had an idea about your feelings as well. Neither of you spoke about it but regardless it hung heavy in the air between you, especially at moments like this. Perhaps it would not have been so hard if Felix didn’t tease you. Or maybe it would be easier if you could stop staring and stop giving him reasons to tease you.

“Good to hear.” Felix said. He rubbed his hands off along his pants. He stood up and without looking directly at you, held out a hand.

“What are you doing?” you asked, trying to catch his eye. The more you craned your neck though the further he looked away. “Felix?”

“Dance?”

Your brow furrowed. “Is that a question or an order? Cause if you are asking if I would like to dance this is a weird way to go about it.”

Even in the flickering shadows from the fire you could see that his ears were burning bright red where they poked out from the unruly mop of blonde hair. “Do you want to dance or not? I’m not gonna ask again.”

You rolled your eyes at his brusk tone and took his hand. “Sure, that sounds nice.” You pulled yourself to your feet and let him tug you closer towards the bonfire.

For as long as you had been on Neverland you could count on one hand the amount of times you saw Felix dancing. It was never really the type of thing he did. You had to wonder what made him choose tonight. Could it have been you? Or were you giving yourself too much credit?

As you approached the fire hand in hand the others started to slow and stop, watching the scene with interest. You could feel your heart beating wildly in your chest but you kept your nerve. You had never been nervous about dancing in front of them before but something about doing it with a partner was making your hands shake.

Felix still wasn’t looking directly at you but he didn’t pause either. “Mind if I lead?” he asked.

“Go right ahead.” you said.

He pulled you closer, one hand braced on the small of your back and the other holding your hand. You copied his posture, bracing your free hand on his shoulder. You took one step, then another, a small half turn you fumbled but corrected quickly. From there you moved like water flowing in a stream. You let your mind go as you followed the motions on instinct, following his feet quickly as you spun around the bonfire.

You looked up from where you were staring into space and met Felix’s eyes for the first time since he asked you to dance. He stumbled for a moment but you pulled him back into it, switching your roles so you were the one leading him this time. He seemed less sure being the one following and was hastening to keep up with you as you suddenly pivoted directions and began dancing counterclockwise around the bonfire.

The music was a faint buzz that could barely be heard over your heart. Felix smirked and purposefully missed a step so you stumbled and he regained his position as leader. “Couldn’t let me lead for a minute?” you said.

“I’m not looking to embarrass myself trying to follow you. It’s hard doing this backwards.”

“Maybe if you actually danced more you could practice.”

“Not really my thing.” he said, casting his gaze away from you again.

“If it’s not your thing,” you spun him out and back in, leaving him off balance, “Then why did you ask me to dance?”

“I just felt like it tonight.”

“So it was a coincidence, is what you’re saying?” you asked, pressing closer so he couldn’t escape your question.

“Yes.” he was still making a pointed effort to avoid looking directly at you. “That’s it.”

“You know, I find that the universe is rarely ever so lazy as to make coincidences.” you told him. “I think that it is quite possible that you asked me to dance because you saw that I wanted to. If that was the reason, then I would think you very kind.”

He didn’t say anything, his mouth pressed into a hard line and his cheeks red.

“Felix?”

“And that’s the end of the song. Bye.” he let go of you and stalked off into the woods, pulling his hood tight over his head to hide his face. You sighed, smiling to yourself as he walked away. Your head was still spinning with the giddiness of the dance. It felt like you were floating on air, your steps felt light as they paced on the ground, leaving the bonfire behind. You got to the edge of the camp and debated what you wanted to do for a minute before deciding to follow Felix. You did want to thank him for the dance after all.

It didn’t take long to find him crouched in a tree, his long legs dangling off the bough. “Hey there,” you called to him. “You ran off so suddenly, was it really that bad?”

“No. I was just done dancing.” he said.

“You know, when someone is done dancing they usually bow to their partner before running away.”

“I didn’t run away!” he snapped.

“Of course. It was a tactical retreat then?”

“No. I was done. That’s it. Stop being weird about it.”

“I’m not. I just wanted to thank you for dancing with me.”

“Well, you did. We good now?”

You rolled your eyes and climbed up into the tree with him. “You dance very well. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not embarrassed.”

“Right. And because you are so very not embarrassed that’s why you’re not looking at me.”

“Yes.”

Your shoulders slumped but you didn’t push. “Okay. But just to let you know, if you ever do want to dance again I’d be happy to be your partner. I’ll even let you stay the lead.”

“That--” Felix snapped but the tension in his back melted and he turned to face you, eyes still not meeting yours though. “That sounds nice…” he mumbled.

You smiled, reclining on the branch with him as the distant echo of music stretched across the jungle and wrapped you in a quiet symphony with the wind blowing against the leaves.

#ouat #felix imagine #felix x reader #ouat felix #neverland #request

4 notes · View notes