#i swear Ill try to get better at updating

[spinefrepple]

YeeHanWeek 2022 Sweater Weather Get spiced ya simps

sweater refs

[evie-sturns]

𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐱 - 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

summary: it's your special day, your 20th birthday! chris hasn't given you a present all day, and nothing seems to be going to plan, but he makes up for it later.

contains: public sex, smut, fluff, soft dom!chris, swearing, crying.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

8:54am

i wake up to chris planting kisses all over my face, a stupid grin painted across his face.

"chriss.." i groan, rubbing my eyes as i sit up in our double bed.

"happy birthday!!" he says, pulling me by my arms up onto the floor, im so unstable i stumble over.

my birthday has always been my favorite day of the year, everyones attention were on me, it was just going to be a stress-free day with my friends, my boyfriend and his brothers.

"shit." chris says, picking me back up, holding me in a bridal position. "you excited!!" he says, placing me back down on my feet

"love you chris." i smile, walking over to the wardrobe and pulling out the outfit ive had planned for days.

ive known chris for 11 years, he was my bestfriend until 1 year ago, when he became my boyfriend.

i strip off my pyjamas, leaving me revealed as i scramble through the shelves to find underwear.

i feel chris's eyes laying on me, "you feel elderly yet?" he says, breaking the comfortable silence.

i scoff "very."

"you look good for how old you are" chris jokes, walking over to my side.

i see his hand reach out, but he pauses instantly when the door rattles. "y/n!" i hear nick call out, i can hear the smile on his face.

"im butt naked right now nick, ill be out in a few!" i call out, chris shakes his head with a grin painted across his face.

"gross." i hear nick say back, slightly quieter this time.

"nick its 9 in the morning what do you take me for!" i say, pulling up my skirt, and readjusting my tanktop. i get on my toes, planting a kiss on chris's nose before unlocking the door.

im met with nick, a bunch of balloons in hand with matt standing next to him. their face light up as they see me.

"you're looking kinda wrinkly.." matt says, pulling me into a hug.

"do i actually look old cause you're the second person to point out my 'aging'" i ask, nick handing me the balloons

-

12:06pm

nick, matt, chris, madi, nate and i have been hanging around the sturniolos house for the day, i've spent the majority of the morning laughing, until a pile of wrapped presents from my friends appears in front of me.

i open them all, thanking whoever gifted it to me with a hug.

chris doesn't give me one though?

i brush it off, maybe he just forgot.

to make things worse, ive just been told madi and nate were both scheduled to leave at 1, both needing to go to nates final ice hockey game, which the sturniolos and i were going to skip.

"oh fuck, we better go madi." nate says, jumping up off the couch and grabbing his keys. madi's sighs before leaning down, squeezing me in a hug. my heart sinks a little, today was meant to be a day with my friends.

"love you y/n, we'll update you about what happens later!" they call out before the door swings shut.

-

ive been sitting on my bed for 2 hours, scrolling aimlessly on my phone as chris sits on the other side of the room at his desk in silence, the faint clicking noise from his keyboard filling the room.

today was meant to be perfect.

i feel my throat dry up as i let out a shaky breath.

ive never cried on my birthday, i've always been too distracted to even think about getting upset, but now, when today has just felt normal, the tears are building up.

i mean, it hasnt been a bad day. its just been too regular.

i feel a few tears fall down my cheeks as i stare at chris's back.

i try my best to stay silent, but a broken sob exits my mouth, i slam a hand over my lips. chris's head snaps back to look at me, his face drops. "oh shit.." chris mumbles before speed-walking over to me, throwing himself down onto the bed to face me.

the tears won't stop now, even with my failed attempts to make excuses up to chris.

"sweetheart please don't cry." chris says softly, holding me in a tight hug as my eyes dampen his shoulder. "talk to me gorgeous, i know you love your birthday you shouldn't be crying yeah?"

"i dont know.." i say in between sobs, chris stays silent, he knows im lying.

"i just wanted it to be perfect.." i sniff, chris rubs my back.

"can i show you something..?" chris says awkwardly, pulling away from the hug. my eyebrows furrow, "okay..?" i say. chris grabs my hands, pulling me up out of bed. he leans down and grabs a sweater from the floor, putting it on my body before taking my hand again.

he walks us downstairs in silence, he seems nervous. chris opens the front door, we walk towards his car and he opens the door to let me in. "ladys first.." he says, trying to lighten the mood.

-

we've been driving for about 3 minutes before chris breaks the silence, "i was meant to take you here later but.. you know." he says, tapping his fingers lightly on the steering wheel.

i nod, chris accelerates slightly as we drive up a hill, we suddenly come to a halt. chris clears his throat, as he turns off the car.

we're parked in a small parking lot on top of a hill, theres trees directly infront of us, the sunset just peeking through the leaves. chris grabs my hand gently, "uh chris?" i ask, he just kisses my lips "shh."

we go through the trees until we they stop, my jaw drops, theres a small picnic blanket, some flowers layed on it along with a note.

its the same spot where me and chris kissed eachother for the first time, 4 years ago.

chris has never been the romantic type, he finds it 'yuck' apparently.

"chris oh my god.." i say, chris is fidgeting with the ties of his sweatpants. i sit down on the picnic blanket, with a groan chris sits down next to me.

"i think this is the sweetest thing anyones done for me.." i say, wrapping my arms around him.

chris shakes his head "shut upp..." he smiles.

"no seriously, i might cry again right now."

"don't you dare." chris says with a small laugh.

a comfortable silence grows between us as the sunsets, i break it after a few minutes.

"we should fuck."

"what?" chris says, his head snapping round to look at me.

"no just think about it, 4 years ago we had our first kiss here, so we should hook up here!" i say, concealing my laugh.

"i meannn whatever you want" chris says, trying not to seem as eager as he actually is.

i pull off my shirt, discarding it on the picnic blanket. theres trees behind us, and a cliff infront of us, its pretty private.

chris helps my shorts off, before laying me down softly on my back, he places his hoodie down under my head as a pillow. "you comfy?" he asks, spreading my legs open wider. i nod, chris pulls down his sweatpants and boxers in one motion, his erection springing out.

he smiles, holding my waist with two hands and lining himself up with me, "ready?" he asks, maintaining eye contact. "very." i smile back.

chris presses his tip inside of me, i stretch around his size, reaching out a hand, chris grabs my it.

he finally pushes the whole way into me, a desperate moan escapes my mouth. "such a pretty noise yeah?" chris says, his voice hoarse as he starts to thrust into me, his tip brushing my cervix each time.

strings of moans and whimpers exit my mouth as i squeeze his hand tighter, chris keeps a firm grip on my waist. "so so good for me, squeezing my dick so well." chris groans.

with each thrust, the knot in my stomach becomes tighter, i arch my back off the picnic blanket, "fuck chris oh my god." i yell, "cum for me gorgeous, can feel you clenching..." he says, stumbling over his words.

with a scream of his name the knot in my stomach snaps, chris pulls out, painting my stomach with white streaks. "g-..good girl." chris says, flopping down next to me on the blanket.

-

we've been laying here for the past hour, laughing, talking and watching the moon. the summer air is warm on my bare body, we both couldnt be bothered to get changed just yet.

"you know.." chris says, running a hand through his hair.

"hm?" i ask, looking over to see his face, which is barely illuminated.

"we should make this a traditon, ya know? birthday sex."

---------------------------------———————————-

i really liked writing this, thank you for the request babe

[aloesarchives]

Tags/Warnings: Fem!Reader/Pronouns, Swearing, Gojo has a hard crush on you, Gojo vs Toji Part 3, The word ass being used, Toji straight up having beef and fighting a bunch of teenagers, Nicknames such as beloved and hon(ney), JJK OCs, Out of pocket moments and sayings, Me being an annoying narrator

[Semi-proofread, informal formatting, and edited as of 12/22/2023 10:18am CST]

Summary: One of the truths behind Toji's beef with Gojo

Word count: 2.8k words

(A/N: I spent 10pm-6am writing this because I just need to or I would never forgive myself if I didn't! I promise I will have some of the "Toji lives" AU posts ready by next week because your girl got her ADHD meds back in stock!! Thank you for being patient with me and my inconsistent updates!!) (12/22/2023 6:05am CST)

💙I love you all! 💙🥰😚💙

💙❤️Please Enjoy!!!💙❤️

The REAL reason Toji has major beef with Gojo is because Gojo had a crush on you during his high school days when you would sub for Yaga in the classroom and training sessions. He did try his best to keep it under wraps but Geto was like,

"Bro, she's the same age as Yaga-sensei. . . Stop reaching, Satoru. . . Do I need to remind you who (L/N)-sama is married to again?"

The Gojo responded with, "Suguru, I don't give a shit about that loser. He's a bum, anyway. The question you should be asking is why (L/N)-dono is fucking married and still in-love to a deadbeat like him. I would have been a better option. Face it Suguru, I'm right."

While Satoru has a point, as Suguru noted, it doesn't change the fact that Satoru was crushing on a MARRIED woman who had TWO kids.

Though it was true, Satoru would have technically been a good husband/father/lover. However, there are many reasons why it must be ruled out.

Satoru is over half your age. Picking him meant allegations and a prison cell. Gojo tried reasoning with you, "But (Y/N)-dono! Age is just a number, give me two years!" "And Prison is just a place, Satoru-kun. I don't want to be labeled as a child predator, let alone be framed for "seDuCinG" the Gojo heir. I want to have a clean record."

While his personality brought you happiness, his carefree nature would clash a lot with you. He can mature but his child-like spirit and carefree persona isn't something you would personally deal with.

He was more of your protégé/junior/student if anything. You saw him more as your son and acted like a parental figure. You wanted to watch him grow and mature. Not become his lover.

To spite the higher-ups and Jujutsu elders(excluding your clan). Given you were a powerful and skillful sorcerer, marrying Gojo would be "BeNeFiCiaL" to Jujutsu society. However, it meant that you were on a watchlist 24/7 and pressured to have an HeIR. It made you physically sick and ill thinking what those old useless dementia white-haired cowards are allow to do that just to better "society" but not its citizens.

You are MARRIED to a man who is trying to step up after his major fuck ups. It's not perfect but Toji is his best trying after you gave him his life and freedom. Since he technically can't leave your home or go to Jujutsu High without your supervision, he's basically househusband duty. And he was getting pretty damn good at it too. Plus Toji's hot, he got you feral and gnawing at your teeth with his signature smile and smirk. And the way his arms flex when he crosses them, or how they feel when you link arms together.

While it wasn't super obvious, okay it was obvious, you always shot down Satoru's playful confessions and light-hearted shenanigans. Basically rejecting him every time. Usually, Suguru would warn you in advance but you know it would happen with each interactions. While you firmly turned him down, you made him understand why it can't and WON'T happen. You still care for him, just never romantically, only platonically and motherly. You made it clear that his "love" for you was just a strong admiration and infatuation disguised as a crush.

Though he was heartbroken, at first. Satoru slowly understand what you mean and his crush slowly fades away as it's replaced with immense respect for you.

HOWEVER, it still linger and not widely known because Toji finally gets word of this through the grapevine. A.K.A, through his two children Megumi and Tsumiki. It happened one day when you brought the two to the school so you can keep a close eye on them since they didn't have school that day. Toji was out doing errands so the two kids are accompanying you. Megumi and Tsumiki were occupied with their books and toys while you taught and trained the students. Megumi and Tsumiki went to find you because they were hungry and you had their lunches. As they looked for you, they see you talking to Satoru. They meet him a couple of times but he's still a stranger to them compared to Shoko or Suguru. So when they see Gojo with you, all alone with no one around, they thought it was major sus.

As they snuck closer, they could hear bit and pieces of what Gojo is saying to you. Megumi lowkey thinks Gojo is super annoying and acts more of a child then he does. But what catches his ears first was something with along the lines of, "(L/N)-dono, please consider it-" "Satoru-kun, how many time will I need to say no to you? You know I can never feel for you that way. Plus it's bad for me to agree to it. You know that it's admiration and infatuation if anything. Not love."

See Megumi knows you only use love as in 'I love you" to him, his sister, and his dad. But to this dude? Nah, something fishy is going on and Megumi gotta tell his dad about it. Megumi comes running, yelling "Mommy!!!". You and Satoru turn to see your son running to you and colliding with your legs. You crouch down and pat your son's head and smile at your daughter following behind him. Megumi hands your hand tightly as you lead them away to have lunch with your kids. Satoru made a face at Megumi when he saw the kid glare at him.

Once you three made it home, you're in the bathroom changing into some home clothes. Meanwhile, Toji was cooking dinner while Megumi and Tsumiki were waiting for you at the dinner table. As Toji was asking them about their day with you, Megumi brought up Gojo's advances and confession towards you. When Megumi said this, the beef Toji was about to flip plopped right back onto the pan. He looks back at Megumi and asks if there's anything else that he can share. As Megumi shares what he has seen through his perspective, Toji asks Tsumiki to confirm is this is all true, to which she said yes, backing up Megumi's claims.

"Yeah, Papa. Satoru-kun is weird. Even though Mama keeps saying she's married to you, he still does it. Tsumiki saw it too."

"I see... Thank you, Megumi and Tsumiki for watching and taking care of Mama for me. I appreciate it a lot. Can you tell her that dinner is almost ready?"

The kids nodded and went to go get you. After dinner and putting the kids to bed, you were sipping your favorite drink as Toji is doing the dishes. You would have helped him but he said no. While you two were talking, he brings up Satoru and his school crush on you.

"Toji, beloved, you know that it's just a small crush. It's nothing more then puppy love for me. Nothing more and nothing less. And you know that you're the only man that I am willing to give my heart to."

"I know that, (Y/N). But what does this brat got on me to think he's a better match for you? Just because this kid is practically a god doesn't mean everyone will bow down to him. I'm definitely not one of them. And to know that said brat is flirting with you even though you're visibly married with kids, he needs to read the room. I will be going with you to school tomorrow. The kids go back to school the next day, and I already got this week's groceries and cleaned the house."

You would have protested if Toji didn't give you a searing kiss while caging you in his arms. Fuck he looked so hot. Curse him and his good looks *punching the air*.

"Fine, you can come. BUT, Toji you need to behavior yourself. You already knew the deal. You better not be doing any funny business."

"Yes, Ma'am. You're the boss, I promise you." Toji says as he gave you a kiss on the cheek before lightly patting your ass.

After dropping the kids off, Toji accompanies you to the school. Toji is just silent and sits in one of the chairs as you do your lessons. Toji is leaning on the chair with a smirk plastered on his face. Not a care in the world. After a few lessons, you were going to teach and train Gojo, Geto, and Shoko for the rest of the school day. As you went to their classroom, they greet you, especially Gojo. However, the mood changed when they saw Toji walk in behind you, wearing nothing but a black slim fit t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Toji gave a head nod to the teens while he just takes a seat in a chair to lean on it. The three were shock to see him.

Particularly because they did expect him to come with you to the school at all. Suguru had an idea but he hoped it wasn't going to be it. After teaching a lesson, you told the three to practice their curse techniques and let their curse energy loose. While doing so, you told them that you would have to speak to Yaga for a bit on something and would be back 15 minutes tops. You told Toji to behave, and he nodded and gave a thumbs up. As you leave the kids and your husband on the train grounds, that's when the storm started brewing. Toji walks up to Gojo and is 3 feet from him. He smirks while looking at him up and down, sizing him up. Shoko and Suguru are on the sidelines as Toji, a married adult male in his 30s, was beefing with a 16 year old high school student.

Suguru: "Satoru, I don't think this is a good idea-"

Satoru: "Hush now, Suguru. . . It's my time to shine. . . Watch the master at work."

Suguru proceeds to roll his eyes but becomes a little weary after his last encounter with Toji was. . . unideal. Given one of their teachers was shot in the throat by Toji saving Anamai, and himself getting injured. It wasn't something he wanted to constantly get reminded of. But ever since you liberated Toji from the higher ups and explained it to your students, Suguru has slowly been changing his views on Toji. It will take a while but it's getting there. Anyhow, Suguru told Shoko to book it once the two were going to throw down.

Satoru: "So, what brings you back here, Toji~? You just couldn't get me out of that little mind of yours~? You're mad I'm 1-0 with you?"

Toji: "Kid, I'm pretty sure that it's 1-1 since I won our first battle. Anyway, I heard through the grapevine that you gave (Y/N) a love confession. Don't you know it's bad to confess and hit on a married woman who has kids? Were you taught any manners? Then again, by the way you act, you probably have none."

Satoru: "You're just mad, Old Man. That I, Satoru Gojo, would treat (Y/N)-dono better and treat her worth. Face it, Old Man. I'm a better match for her than you'll ever be."

Toji: "Like she ever goes for someone half her age, Brat. Plus, you'll never look at you as a lover ever. You're more of a son to her and that's the closest you'll get."

Satoru: "Well, she doesn't need a bum like you around. Imagine fighting a bunch of teens and getting your ass beat by said teens. Skill issue if you ask me."

Toji: "Watch your tongue, Boy. Remember who made you struggle for the first time in your life and actually killed you. While, you know, fucking up your best friend, the second strongest sorcerer, with no curse energy? I got your ass with no gifts other than being a superhuman with weapons. You can never beat me, I'm just built different, Kid."

Satoru: "You wanna test that, Toji~? You got no curse weapons with you. I can pack you up like you're a school lunch."

Toji: "Kid, please. I don't need any weapons to beat you, let alone kill you. You see this? This is a rock, and I can use it to beat you. I also still have my hands too. And I am more then willing to give it to you, Gojo~kun."

Satoru: "You think I'm scared of someone like you? I've ascended, enlighten if you will. If you even know what that word is. Throughout Heaven and Earth, I alone am the honored one. Remember those words, Fushiguro-san? Remember them good because I will put you six feet underground."

Toji: "I see then, Kid. . . So you're playing God? I guess that makes me a God Slayer then. . . Prepare yourself, Kid. . ."

Satoru: "Alright, bet then, Bozo."

Thus, Gojo and Toji started to go at each other for round 3. Shoko was already gone and the two started fighting in the training grounds. Five minutes have already passed and they have made five decently sized craters. Just as both of them were about to throw a punch at each other, they suddenly felt a powerful presence which halted them. They turn to you walking towards them with a furious face unimaginable.

"GOJO SATORU AND TOJI (L/N) FUSHIGURO!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?! I LEAVE FOR LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR AND I GET CALLED BACK BECAUSE OF THIS!?!?"

"(Y/N)-dono!!"

"(Y/N)!"

You moved like a blur and appeared next to them vice gripping their forearms tightly. You dragged them to the nearest empty classroom you can find or any room. You were just so livid that you didn't hear Gojo whining about your grip and asking to let you go like a child. As you let them go once you dragged them far enough, you smacked both of them hard on the head. Shoko and Gojo were watching this as Yaga appeared right next to them shortly. It was interesting seeing two of the most broken people in the world kneeling with their heads down in-front of a woman who doesn't have god-like abilities.

"GOJO, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING BOTH OF YOUR ABILITIES DURING TRAINING SESSIONS!?!? YOU KNOW THE CALAMITY AND DAMAGE YOU COULD'VE CAUSED!?"

"BUT (Y/N)-dono! He-"

"NO BUTS, GOJO!! AND YOU, TOJI, I LITERALLY JUST SAID NO FUNNY BUSINESS AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO CREATE THE NEXT SECOND COMING OF CHRIST. I DON'T NEED ANOTHER RAPTURE HERE. I'M STILL DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH FROM THE TWO OF YOU AS IT IS!!!"

"Okay, Hon. I take full responsibility for my actions today."

"YOU BETTER, TOJI!!! YOU'RE A FULL GROWN MARRIED MAN WITH TWO KIDS!!!"

"But (Y/N)-dono, I was not going to kill him last time-"

"NO ONES DYING HERE!!! NEITHER OF YOU WILL NOT DIE AS LONG AS I AM AROUND. I WON'T LET THE BOTH OF YOU KILL EACH OTHER OVER SOME PETTINESS AND A BOY CRUSH."

You start to calm down but you are still firm with them.

"I know this started because of Satoru's crush on me. . . Satoru, I will not love you romantically and date you. Please understand that. I care for you like family and that is said for the rest of you. Yes you, Suguru, Shoko, and Yaga. And Toji, I'm not leaving you for a child. I would be in jail and not working here. . . Geez, I saw this from a mile away but never expected this to happen. Now, you two better behave yourselves or else. You two don't have to say sorry or anything like of the sort. Just don't go tearing at each other's throats when I both am and am not around. Please, for me. . ."

The two looked at each other before saying a soft yeah. After that, Yaga told you to go home early and he would take it from there. You had to patch up Toji a bit but it wasn't anything of concern. From then on, Toji and Gojo just banter and bicker with each other. It's funny to watch except for Megumi since he's seeing his dad beefing with his unofficial adoptive older brother 24/7.

Satoru eventually grows out of his crush for (Y/N) but Suguru and Shoko never let him down. Hell, it's a running gag in the school about Gojo's old crush on you. Gojo always gets super embarrassed about it, especially when you join in but it's all fun and games with you all.

The only person who genuinely hates it is Megumi because the thought of Gojo having romantic feelings for you and trying to woo you made Megumi visibly ill and sick to his core. He would lowkey help his dad beat up Gojo if Gojo's crush on you became serious again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

💙Author's Notes💙: 💙I am truly grateful to each and everyone of you in showing me that my writing is enjoyable to read!!! I appreciate you all from the bottom of my heart for making my comeback worthwhile! I hate to sound giga cringe but every single one of you that likes, reblogs, and comments on my writing post make me want to continue writing because I know that there are people out there that like what I make.💙 💙So once again, I am truly grateful and feel appreciative that everyone single one of you enjoy what I have been writing. I hope you all stay healthy, drink your water/favorite drink, treat yourself kindly, and take a break because you earned it!💙🥰 ❄️💙💙Happy Holidays to all of you, my GOATS!!!💙💙❄️

[versadies]

CHAPTER THIRTEEN || CLOSURE

SYPNOSIS (of chapter). in which you thought you were getting better.

SYPNOSIS (of series). breaking up with your first love was heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as getting invited to his wedding after years of not seeing him. that is, until things seem to be easier when you encounter a certain guest, who could end up being more than just a blooming friend to you.

CHARACTERS. kamisato ayato, diluc ragnvindr, and thoma (w/ gn!reader)

CONTENT. fluff/angst/no-comfort, swearing (dropped the f-bomb 3 times), mentions of violence (almost getting hit/slapped), sh1nsuke 🤢🤢🤢, mentions of yelling, mentions of threats, mentions of jeanluc, reader is an emotional person

PENPALS. @scaraslover @saving-for-xiao @dawgimsohot @kazu-topia @chiruru @aqualesha @renamichii @mrkamisato @shenhesl0ver @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @ladycoleigh @034ven @dear-dairiess @owozi8 @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @flowersforayato @headintheclouddd @estelwrld @giyusimpsassemble @irethepotatosblog @moonlightaangel @alice0blog @shotosbrainrot @sniffoat @chihawari @mxsomn @kuni-kuzushii @jiminscarmex @mitsukii14 @nejibot @ylimeprive @sachispet @loreleis-world @sn-owo @starforecasts @someonetookmynamelmao @ceylestia @lychme @ymikkos @reallysporadicarcade @elychee @astrxlis @denkineptune @franini @sophisticatedleslie @thedivinepriestress @smashsubs @httpmitsuya @bl6o6dy @cottonkendi (visit this post if you’d like to be tagged!)

WORD COUNT. 6.4k words

LINKS. EVERMORE MASTERLIST \ MAIN MASTERLIST \ EVERMORE SURVEY

POST-SCRIPT. AAAAA after 3-4 weeks, i finally updated !! super sorry for the delay, ill try and see if i can publish the next one next week during school (no promises tho) 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

PREVIOUS || NEXT || VERSADIES’S VERSION (PROCEED THIS LINK FOR FLUFF LOVERS)

The next day after all has happened, Zhongli noticed how you seem to be… happier. 

You really weren’t lying when you told him last night that you and Diluc have been getting along pretty well, because you surely never seem to take your eyes off of your phone as you type out responses to your newly found friend the whole time in the hotel room. 

By the time you take your eyes off your phone is when you came out of the hotel room to do your activities for the day, such as eating breakfast, taking a stroll around the garden once more, visiting the convenience store once again, hanging out with a friend of yours by Good Hunter, and so on. 

The thing is, all of these had one thing in common. 

Besides a certain experience, you kept seeing a certain red-haired man to the point where it’s no longer a coincidence. Do you two just really have the same schedule or something? 

As you lined up for the buffet with your plate in hand, you were tempted to grab your phone and check if you received any message from a certain man, still smiling from enjoying your last conversation with him on the phone. 

It wasn’t until you hear someone clearing his throat behind you when you turn around from recognizing it, causing your eyes to brighten at the sight of the familiar man you’ve been talking to for the past hour earlier. 

“Diluc!” You greeted happily. 

“( Name ).” He greeted, also pleasantly surprised.

“I thought you were out for work already! Didn’t you mention you often go to Angel’s Share early?” You ask curiously. 

He nodded in response. “I do. Just not today it seems, I have something important to do today.” 

The two of you started picking your foods by the time the food is now displayed in front of you after taking a step forward, choosing what you want to eat for breakfast all the while chatting with Diluc – a major difference a few days ago when you and the man were suffering from the awkward silence between you two. 

Turns out, Diluc supposedly had a plus one, but the person wasn’t able to make it due to not having time, hence how he finds himself being alone. Today, however, is the day when the plus one visits the hotel just to greet the wedding couple and wish them well, who will be leaving tomorrow for their honeymoon. 

You’re curious to know who his plus one is, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it’s someone as important and highly regarded as him. 

Once you two finished picking your meal at the same time, you started heading towards where Zhongli is, who’s waiting for you to come at last. You paid no mind how Diluc is following you, perhaps he’s heading towards his table as well that’s in the same direction as yours. 

“You could sit with me and Zhongli if you want. You two seem to know each other back then before we visited your establishment.” You offered with a smile, carefully holding your plate in fear of dropping it. 

He shakes his head. “Oh I’ll be alright. Mr. Zhongli has visited Mondstadt back then a few times and would come by for a nice tea and brunch. Though, he tends to have his chatty friend with him whenever he does.” 

You can’t help but grin when he mentioned the chatty friend. “You mean Venti?” 

Diluc nodded. “Yes. He usually comes around to drink a lot of alcohol. It’s a miracle he didn’t get any sickness from drinking so much.” 

You visibly imagine Venti drinking lots of alcohol, causing you to laugh at the thought. “Well I’m not surprised to hear that. He seems the kind to do that.” 

Before you knew it, you’re finally at your table, causing you to stop your tracks instantly and bid Diluc goodbye before sitting on your seat. If it weren’t for you noticing Zhongli waving at you as well as Diluc slowing down his walk, you would’ve not noticed the fact that you almost walked past your table thanks to you being distracted with your conversation.

“Let’s talk again next time. Enjoy your meal, Diluc.” You said as you watched Diluc giving you an acknowledged nod before walking away to where his table is. 

By the time Diluc is long far away, Zhongli decides to speak up after taking a sip of his tea. “You know, I was starting to think you were too busy being indecisive on your food, but I suppose I was wrong.” He said with amusement. 

You chuckled, picking up your eating utensils. “Consider yourself lucky that I wasn’t in the mood to eat seafood, lest I decide to tease you with it.” 

You feel satisfied seeing the cringe look on his face, grinning to yourself as you take a bite of your food. 

–

After eating breakfast, you and Zhongli went back to your hotel room and got ready for your first activity. While your friend is getting ready to go somewhere, you decided to go visit the convenience store to buy some snacks. 

You wanted to try something new this time, so you decided to choose snacks that are from Mondstadt instead of Liyue or Inazuma. Of course, you wouldn’t forget the ones Zhongli wanted, particularly another certain drink. 

“It’s a non-alcoholic drink called Fruits of the Festival.” He says as he zips his bag that contains the things he needed. “Venti recommended that we drink some now that there are a lot of them in stock for the celebration of the upcoming Weinlesefest festival.” 

With that in mind, perhaps you should’ve taken into consideration that the drink would possibly be out of stock soon , because by the time you encounter the aisle that supposedly contains the Fruits of the Festival, there was only one bottle left.

Just as you’re about to take the bottle, you didn’t notice how someone else was reaching out to it as well, causing your hand to touch his. 

Surprised, you look at the person who’s getting the same item as you, only to be even more surprised when you realize who it is. 

“...Diluc?” 

“( Name )?” 

You can’t help but let out a laugh, not believing that you saw your friend again coincidentally. “Oh wow, I didn’t expect to see you here! Are you trying to get this one?” You asked, gesturing to the drink you’re still touching. 

He hums in agreement. “Don’t worry, I could always get the other one.” He said, about to let go until you immediately let go of it. 

“Ah no, no, no! It’s better if you take this one since it’s the last one. Consider it a payment for letting me have the grape juice last time.” You said with a laugh, gesturing to the man to take the drink.

He shakes his head, letting go of the drink. “It’s fine, you can take it. I wouldn’t want you to miss out tasting something such as the Fruits of the Festival.”

You refuse to get the drink. “Oh come on, it’s better if you’re the one who’ll get this.” 

“No, no. It’s fine.” 

“Just get it, Diluc.” 

“I prefer you getting it.”

“No you–”

Suddenly, someone else takes the drink in front of the two of you, causing you to flinch in surprise. 

“Brother Albedo! Is this blue drink the one you’re talking about?” A little girl with a red dress says before running towards where her brother is with the drink in hand, leaving you and Diluc stunned. 

“...”

“...”

You can’t help but laugh. “Oh man, this reminds me of what happened back then.” You said, remembering the way you and Diluc fell into the same situation and kept insisting on who’s taking the drink.

His lips twitch upward. “Likewise. We really have come a long way after that.” 

You nodded in agreement with a smile. “We have. Though it’s really a shame none of us got the drink. I’m sure they’ll restock soon.” 

“We can visit tomorrow if you’d like.” Diluc offers. “I’m sure my plus one will be asking to go visit the store to buy some together, you can join us.” 

You shake your head. “Ah, no need! I wouldn’t want to bother you catching up with whoever your plus one is. I’m sure I’ll eventually be able to try it when I hang out with my friend later.” 

He nods in understanding. “Very well then. I hope you’ll enjoy the drink. If you somehow weren’t able to drink it, you could always visit Angel’s Share. It’ll be available today or tomorrow.” 

Your eyes brighten, remembering the delightful establishment. Now that you think about it, you do miss their drinks there – so it wouldn’t exactly hurt to go there before you and Zhongli leave to the airport. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks again, Diluc.” 

“See you next time, ( Name ).” 

Then you two parted ways, unaware that next time is very much later. 

–

After coming back to the hotel from the convenience store, you were itching to go visit the garden after passing by the entrance. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to wait there for your friend instead of here when it’s time for you two to hang out.

Which is what led you to immediately get ready for your hangout once you finished unpacking the things you bought from the store.

“How do I look?” You ask Zhongli as you come out from the bathroom, now fully dressed for your brunch. “Do I look alright?” 

You watched as your friend looked away from his book, looking at your outfit carefully before nodding in confirmation with a smile. “Yes, you look great.” 

You sigh in relief, grabbing your bag from your bed to start packing up your things. “That’s good. What will you be doing while I’m gone?” 

Zhongli shrugs in response. “I don’t have any plans for today, but a walk around the garden would be nice later.” 

“Alright. I’ll be back in a while.” You said, checking your phone for any messages (from a certain man) before putting it inside your bag. 

“Have fun, ( Name ). Don’t forget to tell Diluc I said hi.” He said with a chuckle, remembering what you told him about the wine tycoon today. 

Your mouth opens agape. “Wow– Alright, whatever. Have fun too, Zhongli.” 

As you zip your bag closed after getting all the things you need, you immediately head towards the door. Maybe I should try taking pictures of some of the scenery, You thought to yourself. 

Fortunately the trip to the garden didn’t take long, and by the time you entered the hotel’s beautiful garden, you delightfully inhaled the fresh air. Thank Celestia it’s a good day today, you thought, looking around your surroundings. 

As you walk around the area trying to find a place to sit on, you bring out your phone to take a few pictures. You were so fascinated with how each flower looked amazing in the pictures you took – with the lightning and atmosphere bringing ethereal energy to your pictures.

While admiring the pictures you took, you didn’t notice a person walking towards the same direction as you, causing you to accidentally bump into them. 

“Ah, so sorry!” You said with a yelp, maintaining your balance. “I didn’t mean to bump into you–” Your eyes widens when you realize who you bump into. 

“The apologies are all mine, I should’ve watched where I was goin–” The red-haired man’s words slowly trail off when he hears your voice, now realizing who’s in front of him.

“..Diluc?” 

“( Name )?” 

You let out a laugh once more. “Oh wow, I can’t believe this! I’m starting to think this isn’t a coincidence now – since when have you started visiting the garden?” 

“Just now. I wanted to see what it looks like during the daytime. What brings you here as well?” 

“Ah, I wanted to take a stroll around the garden while waiting for my friend to come and pick me up so we can go have brunch. This place is really beautiful, isn’t it?” You replied, keeping your phone aside. 

He hums in agreement. “It is.” 

You then thought of something. “Wanna walk around the place together while I’m waiting for my friend?” You asked. 

“I don’t mind.” He said with a nod. 

And so, you two continued where you left off from last night in the garden, talking about Weinlesefest as you wait for your friend to come. 

Throughout the stroll, Diluc explained to you all the things you needed to know about the upcoming festival. Apparently, the Weinlesefest festival is more about making new wine as they invite their Archon to drink with everyone. So it makes sense that someone like Diluc, whose entire business and establishment is famous for the amazing wine, is currently thinking of something that could make good wine.

He also explained about what you could do if you participate in the festival, particularly visit Springvale and explore around the place since it’s where the festival will be held. Ah, just hearing all the things you could do and eat made you want to consider extending your stay, but alas, you think one week in one of your favorite regions is enough for you. Besides, even if you decide to extend your stay, only Celestia knows what would happen to you once you’re back to work. 

While you converse with your friend, you couldn’t help but notice the way he looks as though there’s something in his mind. You didn’t find the guts to ask him though, thinking you’re meddling into his business if you do so. Still, you’re a bit concerned that something bad happened and you want to at least help – it’s the least you can do for everything he did for you. 

Before you could bring up and ask what’s on his mind, you hear someone calling out your name. 

“ ( Name )! Over here!” Your eyes light up when you hear the familiar voice of your friend, causing you and Diluc to turn around and look at the person who’s calling you. 

“Thoma, there you are!” You greeted, walking towards the blonde-haired man who’s also walking towards you. “And here I thought you weren’t gonna show up any time soon, what took you so long?” 

Thoma spreads his arms wide as you give him a hug. “Aw man, I’m sorry for being late! I was busy helping Ayato out with preparing for his next trip, I didn’t notice that I was about to be late.” He explains. The two of you quickly separate each other from your hug.

He looks at where Diluc is, causing him to stand up straight and offer the tycoon his hand. “Hello! You must be the infamous Diluc Ragnvindr. A pleasure to meet you!” He says with a smile. 

Diluc didn’t hesitate to shake Thoma’s hand, giving him an acknowledged nod. “Likewise. I would like to congratulate you for your efforts in this wedding, it’s truly amazing.” 

The blonde-haired man lets out a bashful laugh. “Oh you’re too kind, Mr. Ragnvindr! I hope I wasn’t bothering you two, did I?” 

You hesitantly look at Diluc, who remains the same expression as always, before looking back at your friend with a smile. “Ah not really. We were just talking about the Weinlesefest festival until we heard you.” 

“That’s good to hear. I’m a bit disappointed that I won't be able to experience the festival though.” Thoma lets out a sigh. “Oh well, there’s nothing we can do about it. Mind if I take ( Name ) away, Mr. Ragnvindr?” 

Diluc nodded in response. “Of course since that’s what they’re here for. I’ll see you next time once again, ( Name ).” 

You gave the red-haired man a grateful smile. “See you next time, Diluc. It was fun talking to you!” 

–

The purpose of your brunch with Thoma is simple. Catch up with one another, talk about the things you’ve missed in Inazuma while you talk about the things he missed in your trip. 

So why, why do you feel so bothered? 

Despite being able to listen to your dear friend and keep up with your conversation, your mind lingers on Diluc. You’re still worried about how he seems to be out of it back in the garden – is it perhaps because of how he needs to think of a new wine? 

“You know, I’m glad you and Ayato had spoken to one another about what happened back then.” Thoma confesses, causing you to be taken back by surprise. “I hope you won’t be offended with what I have to say but.. You look happier than before.” 

You raise your eyebrows from his words. Happier? 

“I… I didn’t notice that.” You replied, letting out a small laugh. “Am I really that happy because of how me and Ayato have resolved?” 

Thoma lets out a small laugh as well. “Well, that’s just my guess. Did something else happen that made you happier than that?” He asks. 

You took a second to think about it. It’s true that ever since you and Ayato have made up, everything's been going a bit well for you, but then again, it’s sort of weird how you’re a lot happier about it than normal. 

Is it… really just because of that? 

Seeing how you hesitated, Thoma’s eyes slightly widened in surprise. “Wait, did something actually happen?” 

You look away from Thoma, a bit flustered. “I-I really don’t know either!” 

“Really?”

“Yeah!” 

“Then… It’s not about someone, is it?” 

You begin to scratch the back of your head. “Well… I did become friends with Diluc…? That’s the only thing that happened besides me and Ayato talking each other out about what happened.” You said, looking at your friend while you fiddled with your fingers. “He’s fun to talk to, I’ll admit. I had a lot of fun for the past few days thanks to him.” 

The blonde haired man nods in agreement. “I can tell. Every time I look at you during the bachelor and reception, you look like you’re having fun talking to him,” He then lets out a laugh. “It honestly reminded me of back then when you and Ayato were still pining for each other.” 

You look at him in confusion, still smiling. “Huh? What do you mean?” 

“Well for starters, it’s the way you’re looking and talking to him. You always pay attention to him and everything he says that you don’t focus on eating your food or your surroundings much — I was able to see you while I was hosting the bachelor party.” He explains. “...Of course, I’m sure you don’t see Mr. Ragnvindr that way though, right?” 

You slowly glance down at your food, processing his words carefully. 

…Huh. 

You didn’t notice how Thoma’s face slightly fell from how you didn’t answer his question. “...You don’t see him that way, right?” He repeats. 

You want to answer yes, but something is holding you back. You don’t understand, you don’t really see Diluc that way right? You two are just friends – and yes, there were some moments between you two whereas your new friend made you feel… things – but that’s normal, right?

This feeling… Isn’t surely the same as what you felt towards Ayato back then, is it?

Then again… When was the last time you had fallen in love? 

You wipe your now sweaty palms on your lap, starting to feel a bit conflicted from your thoughts and feelings. Even if you are in love with him, how could you even deal with it? How can you even face him knowing your feelings? What if you end up being heartbroken? 

But if you aren’t in love with him, why does that make you feel.. Unsatisfied? 

You can’t help but think about him, and you realize you’ve always been thinking about him for the past few days. He makes you happy obviously, there’s never a dull moment with him besides when you two first interacted with one another, and he’s understanding and gentle. The gentle look he gives you as he respectfully treats you well makes you feel… something.

He also treats you equally and always manage to get along with you despite your differences to one another. Not to mention how you always smile whenever you think of him, something that Zhongli had pointed out one time — and how you couldn’t help but always get excited at the thought of what’s to come for you and Diluc the next day—

Oh.

Oh.

Meanwhile, Thoma tries to think of a way to change topics. “It’s alright if you’re unsure, ( Name ).”

“No, no, it’s fine.” You quickly reassured your friend. “I just.. Didn’t realize it until you pointed it out.” 

“So.. you do love him, do you?” 

You stayed silent for a few seconds, unsure how to break it to him. “...He makes me feel things no one has made me feel for a long time.” 

“…Does he make you happy?”

You nodded in response. “He makes me the happiest I can be.” He made me realize there’s always a chance, a chance to love. You thought.

Thoma hums in understanding. “I see. Then I hope you get something good from rhat.” 

You smile gratefully. “Thank you. Though, I feel bad our conversation went this way, we were just laughing a few minutes ago.” 

He quickly lets out a small laugh. “Oh it’s no problem. At least you found something you didn’t know, right?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, thanks again, Thoma.” 

“Anything for you, ( Name ).” 

You decided to try and change the topic, clearing your throat. “Uh, anyways, wanna share Good Hunter’s newest dessert together?” 

Thoma nods with a smile. “Fine, but you better not finish everything in one go.” 

“Hey!” 

–

It took perhaps another hour before you and Thoma decided to get the bill and get out of the restaurant. Unfortunately, your friend won’t be able to join you in going back inside Goth Grand Hotel once he drops you off, telling you how he has some things to do for Ayato and Chisato before they go off to their honeymoon destination. 

As you enter the hotel lobby, you can’t help but think back about what happened during your brunch with Thoma. What will happen between you and Diluc now? Will you still act the same as before, aware that your feelings for him are possibly more than platonic?

While thinking, you didn’t notice someone behind you heading towards you until you felt them harshly gripping onto one of your shoulders.

You turn around, wondering who on Earth would be so rude to do such a thing, only for your eyes to widen when you realize who it is. 

“Good afternoon, Mx. ( Last Name ).” Shinsuke greeted you with a smile that’s obviously fake. “I apologize for bothering you on this fine day,” A lie, “but I must request you to come with me somewhere more private.” 

You hesitated for a moment, knowing the risk if you said yes. But even so, who’s to say what could happen if you turn down his request? 

You look around the area, trying to look for someone who can notice your troubled situation and help you, only to unfortunately find no one around. If only you could’ve convinced Thoma to escort you back to your hotel room…

“...I suppose I could spare some time for a chat.” You said, trying to act calm. 

You suddenly feel an eerie presence looming behind you, causing you to glance at your back and see a few bodyguards standing behind you – as if to prevent you from running away. Unlike the ones who were stationed for the wedding events, these particular guards were foreign, with strange but somewhat familiar symbols on their brooches. You could tell they’re not like the bodyguards you’ve seen.

“Perfect.” Shinsuke comments, and you start to regret accepting his offer. “Come with me.” 

Without letting you reply at all, the man turns and starts walking, causing the bodyguards behind you to shove you in order for you to follow, leaving you no choice but to oblige. 

On your way, you hoped that you would at least encounter one of your friends, frantically glancing around the hotel lobby looking for a familiar face. Unfortunately, you finally arrived at what you assume is a private room. 

You’re going to be alone with Shinsuke and these scary bodyguards. 

“Before we can go in, I have one more thing to request of you.” Shinsuke spoke up before he could open the door. “Take your bag away and give it to one of the guards.” 

Your eyes widens, hesitantly looking at the bodyguards behind you, who all remain unfazed and emotionless. Slowly, you take out your bag from your body and pass it to one of the guards. 

“Don’t worry, they won’t open your bag and look through your things if that’s what you’re worried about. We just need to make sure you won't try to... record anything and break our privacy.” Shinsuke said in a nice tone, as if that’s enough to reassure you in this situation. “Let’s go inside now.”

You feel fear crawling up on your spine as you enter the room, unsure of what’s going to happen to you. 

The room is a conference room, with multiple chairs surrounding one long table as one of them is situated by the end of it; you assume that chair is where he’ll be seated. 

“Go sit down here.” He says, pulling back a seat that’s right in the middle. “We have a few things to talk about, it won’t be long, don’t worry.” 

Swallowing down the lump in your throat, you carefully went to where the seat is, trying to contain your frantic breathing in order to hide your fear. The bodyguards that were following you both are situated outside.

By the time you sit down is when Shinsuke starts talking, not sitting down on a chair. “Now that we’re in a more private area, let’s start talking, shall we?” 

You nodded slowly. “..Is there a problem, Mr. Hiiragi?” You ask carefully.

He laughs, starting to walk slowly around you. “Straight to the point, I like that.” He comments. “Yes, there is a problem, Mx. ( Last Name ). I'm sure you remember our conversation yesterday.” 

Your breath hitches; he proceeds to explain more. “You see, this wedding is a very precious event to the Hiiragi Clan. Everyone thinks the lovely couple is perfect like straight out of a fairytale, so I like to keep it that way.” You watch as he brushes one of the chairs as he walks by. Did he find out about you and Ayato? 

“So when someone reported to me that they caught sight of you walking back inside the bachelor party venue together with the bride – who didn’t bother hiding the fact that she was crying – I have to make sure all’s well.” He adds. 

His eyes then narrow. “I hope you understand where I’m coming from, and I fear that you might take the opportunity to taint the Hiiragi name and accuse that Chisato is unhappily married to Kamisato Ayato.” 

You shook your head frantically. “N-No, I wouldn’t dare to do such a thing to my friends.” 

“How should I know if you’re telling the truth? And before I knew it, the media would talk about how Chisato had unwillingly married the CEO of the Yashiro Company because of you and your schemes!” 

“I am telling the truth, Mr. Hiiragi! I wish nothing but happiness for the couple.” 

“As if that’s enough to do so.” He lets out a “tsk”, glaring down at you. “I have no choice but to get rid of you. Who knows when you will eventually risk tearing down my reputation!” 

You gasp aloud, immediately standing up from your seat. “Get rid of me?! But Mr. Hiiragi, that’s too much! I haven’t done anything ever since the bachelor party happened–”

“You dare to raise your voice on me!? Did you forget your place, or shall I remind you?!” He exclaims. You panic when he suddenly storms towards you, his hand slowly raises up to hit you. 

Suddenly, the door opens, causing the man to stop himself from hitting you and look at the intruder. 

“Was I interrupting something?”  

Your eyes brighten when you recognize the person’s voice, and you look at the intruder who’s standing by the doorway. 

“O-Oh, Mr. Ragnvindr!” Shinsuke spoke, his tone is now nice and kind unlike a few seconds ago. “What a lovely surprise. I was just having a special meeting with Mx. ( Last Name ) regarding the wedding–”

“I’m here to talk about your pesky bodyguards who aren’t doing their job right” Diluc spoke, his voice dark and cold – a big comparison to his gentle tone when he talks to you. “I was just passing by when they suddenly confronted me and dared to lay a hand on me for no reason.” 

You saw the way Shinsuke’s eyes widened, his eyebrows furrowing. “What?! How unprofessional of them! Where are they now?” 

Diluc opens the door wide. “Feel free to go check on them. I had to defend myself since they tried to fight me. Had this happened to someone else, I fear an innocent person would get hurt by their recklessness.” He scolded Shinsuke, who hesitated from his offer to check on the bodyguards. 

The elder man glances at you, causing you to freeze up from his glare. “This isn’t over yet.” He mouths before looking back at the red-haired man. “I apologize sincerely on behalf of my bodyguards. I’ll make sure it won’t happen ever again.” 

“Good. Now leave.” 

Begrudgingly, Shinsuke heads out from the conference room. By the time the CEO is out of your sight, Diluc looks in your direction.

You feel your shoulders starting to relax. “Diluc.”

His eyes softened. “( Name ).” He then gestures to you to come with him. “Come with me. Let’s get you out of here.” 

When you come out of the conference room with Diluc being by your side, you’re surprised to see the sight of Shinsuke standing over the bodyguards on the ground, some groaning out in pain while some were out cold. Just what did Diluc do to them? 

You dare not to question it, you’re just grateful that he saved you from Shinsuke. 

As soon as you two are somewhere where most people don’t come to in the lobby, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’re holding. 

“Are you alright?” Diluc asks worryingly, giving you your bag you didn’t know he was holding. “What happened back there?” 

You slowly grab your bag from him, avoiding his gaze. “I… I don’t know.. He just took me to that room and threatened me for something that happened in the bachelor party. I wouldn’t dare to do that to my friends.” You clench your teeth at the audacity the cruel CEO has. “I’m just grateful you were able to come by before something happened. How did you know I was there?” 

“I saw one of the guards holding your bag.” He answers honestly. “I recognized it was the one you were carrying when we were taking a stroll around the garden, so I had to investigate. Did they hurt you?” 

You shook your head. “Mr. Hiiragi was about to, but you made it in time before he could hurt me.” 

Diluc’s eyes slightly widened, before quickly narrowing his eyes at the thought that someone would dare to hurt you. “How dare he.. I knew he wasn’t good news.” 

“It’s fine… None of us could’ve predicted he would do something like this.” You mumbled. It was technically a lie, you knew someone like Shinsuke would do this, but you didn’t want your friend to be worried and angry. “Thank you for your help, Diluc. I owe you a lot.” 

“Anything for you.” He replied. He suddenly puts a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you, causing your heart to start beating fast while your cheeks begin to warm up from his words and gestures.  “You don’t owe me anything. Just… be more careful, I don’t want you to get hurt by someone as cruel and despicable as him.” 

You nodded slowly, your mouth twitching upwards. “I’ll try.” 

“Were you heading towards your room?” He asks, and you hum softly in response. “I could escort you back there if you’d like. Just in case Mr. Hiiragi dares to come to you again.” 

You shook your head. “Oh I don’t want to bother you. I think I can go back on my own.” 

“I insist. It would hurt me if something bad happens to you again when I could’ve helped you.” He insists. “Come.” 

“...Thank you again, Diluc.” You spoke softly before the two of you started heading towards the elevator area that’s across the hotel lobby from where you are.

The two of you didn’t say a word to one another while you’re walking, but you didn’t mind. You were still shaken up by what happened. Who knows when Shinsuke will try to bother you again? What if he comes to Liyue and ruins your life? 

“Will you be alright, ( Name )?” He suddenly asks, causing your worrisome thoughts to fade away from his voice. 

Before you could say anything, someone suddenly called Diluc’s name. 

“Diluc?” 

You look around the area to look for the person who was calling your friend, spotting a woman standing not too far away from where you and Diluc are with her eyes brightening. 

“There you are! I was looking around for you.” She spoke, walking towards you two with a smile on her face. “Did you just get out of the hotel room?” 

You can’t help but admire the woman who’s now standing in front of you two. She’s quite beautiful, you admit. Is she perhaps a friend of Diluc? Or an acquaintance of his in the business world? 

Or… Is she his plus one? 

Diluc shakes his head. “No, I just happened to come across a friend of mine and got distracted. Did you wait for too long?” 

The woman shakes her head as well, smiling reassuringly. “Ah no, don’t worry. I just entered the hotel.” She then looks at you. “Hello, what’s your name?” She asks you politely, causing your eyes to widen a bit in surprise. 

“Oh uhm.. My name is ( Name ) ( Last Name ). It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms…?” 

“You can call me Jean. Thank you for keeping Diluc company while I was gone. I feel bad that I wasn’t able to attend the wedding.” Jean said. 

Ah, so she is his plus one. 

You try to ignore a strange feeling bubbling in your chest. “It’s no problem, I’m glad I’m friends with someone like Diluc. I had a lot of fun and learned a lot more about Mondstadt thanks to him.” 

Jean giggles, a tune that’s so sweet in your ears. “I’m glad my fiancé made a friend. I hope I’ll get to know you more, ( Name ).”

You felt like your heart dropped when you heard what Jean called Diluc, your face almost fell. 

…

Fiancé? 

“...O-Oh, you guys are engaged?” You asked, stunned from your realization. 

Jean instantly covers her mouth. “Oh, my bad.” 

“It’s alright, Jean.” Diluc reassures her, you saw the way he looks at her. It’s different than the way he looks at you. “I was meaning to invite them to the wedding before they leave for Liyue.” 

Jean sighs in relief, then looks at you with an apologetic smile. “I apologize for the shock. But yes, me and Diluc are set to be married in December. We haven’t announced our engagement to the public yet so we’d appreciate it if you could keep it a secret until it’s announced. I’ll make sure to give you an invitation tomorrow if that’s fine with you!” 

You felt sick, swallowing the sour taste of heartbreak in your throat. “Of course! I’m honored I’m invited to your wedding. Congratulations on your engagement.” 

You’re too caught up with the sudden news that you didn’t notice the way Diluc looks at you in concern.

Jean didn’t notice either, still smiling happily. “Great, I hope we’ll talk again next time. I’m afraid Diluc and I have to go now to meet Mr. and Mrs. Kamisato before they leave. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay in Mondstadt until you leave! Shall we, Diluc?” 

The red-haired man hesitantly looks at you, and you remembered how he was supposed to escort you. You feel selfish for wanting him to go with you, but you knew your place. 

“Go.” You mouth to Diluc with a reassuringly small smile, despite your heart wanting him to stay. “I’ll see you two next time. It’s nice to meet you as well, Jean.”

“...See you next time, ( Name ).” Diluc spoke up before walking towards Jean. 

Without another word, you turn away and walk back to where you’re supposed to be going. Away from Shinsuke, from your heartbreak, 

And away from Diluc. Your first love for the first time in 4 years. 

You tried your best to hold onto your facade that everything’s normal and okay as you’re on your way back to the hotel room rushedly, your heart racing and lips shaking from what just happened. 

You aren’t sure if you were overwhelmed by what happened between you and Shinsuke, or from the unrequited love between you and Diluc. 

You should’ve known he wouldn’t be single. You should’ve known he was taken by someone as beautiful and amazing as Jean. You should’ve remained oblivious to your feelings towards him,

You should’ve known he would never see you that way.

By the time you enter the room and close the door behind you, you knelt down on the ground and let out a sob, dropping your bag as you cover your face with your hands. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck! 

Everything hurts. Everything is too much. You feel like you’re being burned inside as your heart aches deeply. You feel like you want to jump off a cliff and land in an ocean, never to be seen again. Why did you had to find out you’re in love when you found out your love is unrequited? Why is this happening to you? What did you do in your past life to deserve such cruelty? 

You were so busy crying that you didn’t notice Zhongli walking towards you in concern. Words didn’t exchange between you two, but your friend knew what to do. He always comforts you whenever you cry about Ayato after drinking too much back then, reassuring you that you’ll eventually move on someday. 

He kneels down beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder comfortingly. You didn’t hesitate to lean your head on his shoulder as a result, continuing to let out your wails and tears. 

“I fell in love, but he… He belongs to another. Why does this always happen to me?” You sobbed. 

Zhongli slowly pulls you closer to him. “I do not know.”

You let out another sob, closing your eyes shut. “It hurts.” 

He closes his eyes as well, his heart aches at the sound of your cries. “I know.” 

That day, you didn’t look at your phone anymore to see if he sent you a message. Spending the rest of your time engulfed in heartbreak as your dearest friend comforts you. 

Just when you thought you were willing to fall in love, that chance was once again out of your reach.

It’s true he made you realize there’s always a chance, a chance to love.

Just not a chance to love him.

—

Somewhere by the hotel’s parking lot, someone is going through the same thing as you.

Thoma leans against the steering wheel of his car, exhaling deeply as he closes his eyes.

He knew he’d never have the chance to win your heart, yet it still hurts to think that you’re now in love with someone else. Don’t get him wrong, he’s truly happy for you — especially knowing that you have never bothered trying to give love a chance again and never had a date with anyone since the break up.

He just wished it was him you had fallen in love with, even though it sounds as impossible as going to outer space in this life.

But nevertheless, it wasn’t the fact that his love for you stayed strong and you still see him as just a friend—

It was the fact that you’re in love with a man who’s out of your reach.

Thoma didn’t know what to think when he learned you love Diluc. He wanted to be happy for you — he knows the man has a good heart after hearing so many good things about him — but he knew you’re going to be heartbroken when you learned about his secret engagement with one of the most powerful and well-respected women in Mondstadt.

There’s nothing he can do about it. He can only hope you’d get through the same pain you felt back then.

Thoma lets out a sigh, leaning back up from the steering wheel.

Even if he cannot provide it, the blonde-haired man just wished that someday, you’d love someone who loves you too, with nothing that can stop you both,

Unlike the men you fell in love with.

DAN’S NOTES

(1) diluc isn’t leading reader on nor was he flirting with them. chapter 14 will explain his side as well as his feelings towards reader. (see my response to this ask here for more details)

(2) i understand if you’re willing to drop the series, but it’s better if you keep it to yourself if you intend to insult this series or me. if you’re planning to send ask about the problem of this chapter, make sure to read my responses regarding asks about this situation because i dont really want to repeat myself again.

(3) i apologize for the disappointment if you expected reader to end up with diluc as well as for not adding it in the warnings about jeanluc being mentioned — i made another version of this storyline where they do end up together, which is versadies’s version ( look at the links ) to make it up to you guys :>>

PREVIOUS || NEXT || VERSADIES’S VERSION (PROCEED TO THIS LINK FOR FLUFF LOVERS)

[mystic-kitten-writer]

Update :)

It's funny how it's been such a long time since I've posted here, yet it still feels like home—hello, loves~!

It goes without saying that I owe an explanation as to why I disappeared from the face of the Earth for so long.

The last time I was able to truly connect with you was when my family and I caught Covid (great times, let me tell you) - after that, I totally disappeared, and as much as I would love to say it was for good and positive reasons, to be very blunt and straight to the point, it wasn't.

For those sensitive to the topics of illness and mental health, skip to the image of a giant cat for the good news!

Once again, as everyone knows, my whole family got COVID-19. While my Mom, Dad, and I weren't too hot, we were functioning. But my husband was really struggling. And when weeks passed, and his health started to get worse and worse, we realized that this was something more than just COVID-19.

My husband is hesitant to provide full details about what occurred, primarily because it's still a recent event and something he's currently grappling with. Still, my husband went from being a healthy, physically active person to being bedridden.

It was a really hard time for everyone because my husband is like the sun. All smiles and outgoing - to suddenly unable to eat or hold down food, needing help with showering and to be very blunt, depressed and suicidal because he lost everything due to this sickness.

Unfortunately, cancer runs in his family, and while he got tested multiple times and came back negative (yay!), he is still not out of the dark. He has done numerous surgeries in hopes of getting better (his most recent this January), and at this time, his last resort is getting a colostomy bag. He is currently undergoing some experimental treatments because doctors don't want to do the surgery based on his age.

It goes without saying why I haven't been posting and updating anything. There's been a lot going on, and I want to be on his side as much as possible.

But there is some good news!

I am mainly posting this message because he has improved greatly these past few weeks and is now in a much better physical and mental state. Seeing him get his feet back on the ground has given me the confidence to resume writing.

I have never stopped writing, but I have stopped publicly posting my writing mainly because I didn't have the time to sit down and properly edit.

My friends behind the scenes have been real stars. They have kept me going and encouraged me to keep writing.

I aim to post small works and drabbles until I feel confident enough to finish my biggest baby, Limerence.

To all those messages saying you missed Yue and Zuko, they're back - sorry, not sorry.

Thank you to everyone who has written messages to me. Trust me when I say I read them all, and I truly appreciate them. It meant a lot to get them and read them when I was not active because there were a few dark moments during my time away with everything going on, and honestly, it made me really happy. While I could never express my thanks in enough words, please know I greatly valued it.

I wanted to keep this short and sweet, but as we know, I am not known for short things (I try I swear askdjahjhksdj)😅

Thank you, and I wish everyone a fabulous day with tons of hugs and kisses.

I can't wait to write to you all soon~ ❤️

[somber-sapphic]

Prompt List!

Hi :) Here is a fancy new updated version of my prompt list! I switched out most of them, but you're sure to find a few repeats. The old ones are linked here and you can choose off of that list as well if you wish!

《 Requests! 》 ︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽

〘Sickie Dialogue〙

"I don't feel so great..."

"Could you pass me a tissue, please?"

"I think I might have a fever."

"I can't believe I caught this cold at the worst possible time."

"I'm trying to stay strong, but it's getting harder."

"My head is pounding."

"I wish this illness would just go away already."

"I'm so tired, even just talking feels like an effort."

"I don't want to be a bother, but I need help.”

"I can't taste anything. This is the worst."

"I'll be fine; it's just a minor bug."

"I'm sorry if I seem distant. It's just the fever taking a toll on me."

"I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

"I'm not sure how much longer I can tough it out."

"My throat is so sore; I can barely swallow."

"I keep shivering. Can you pass me a blanket?"

"I'm coughing so much, it's starting to hurt."

"I hate feeling so weak and helpless."

"I wish I could join everyone, but I don't want to get them sick."

"I don't want anyone to worry about me."

"I know I need to rest, but there's so much to do."

"It feels like I've been like this forever."

"I can't believe how much my body aches."

"I'm really grateful for your company. It helps distract me from feeling awful."

"I'm just going to close my eyes for a bit..."

"I think I need to lie down for a while."

"This headache is killing me..."

"I can't believe I let myself get this sick."

"I'm feeling really dizzy.”

"I don't have the energy to do anything right now."

"I'm trying to stay positive, but it's tough."

"I just want to feel better already."

"Could you hand me the thermometer? I want to check my temperature."

"I've never felt this awful before."

"I feel like I'm burning up."

"I can't stop sneezing."

"I should have taken better care of myself."

"I'm worried it might be more than just a simple cold."

"I wish I had someone to take care of me.

"I'm feeling really weak and achy."

"I hate that I'm missing out on all the fun because of this."

"I can't even focus on anything with this headache."

"I never appreciated being healthy until now."

"I'm trying to drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated."

"I just want to sleep and forget about everything for a while."

"I'm scared it might be something serious."

"I'm tired of coughing."

"I'm fine, really. It's just a little cold."

"I think I caught something. My head is pounding."

"I don't want to be a burden..."

"I'm so cold..."

"I can still go on the mission."

"I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"Sorry, I can't stop sneezing."

"Thanks for taking care of me."

"I don't want to spread this to anyone else."

"I hate feeling so helpless."

 "I don't need your pity."

"I don't remember the last time I felt this awful."

"I wish I could be out there, helping everyone."

"Why does it have to be so cold?"

“Can you just…hug me?”

 “Don’t leave, please.”

 “I swear I wasn’t this sick this morning.”

 “Yes, I took medicine.”

 “You’re sure I’m sick?  ‘Cause I feel fine.”

 “I really cannot be sick right now.”

 “Everyone gets colds.  I’ll live.”

 “I really hope this is just my allergies.”

 “Stop thinking so loud; my head hurts.”

"I'm scared."

"I can't even talk properly."

 "I feel like I'm letting everyone down."

"You're making a big deal out of nothing."

"I'm so tired..."

"I'm sorry for getting you involved in this mess."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you..."

"I hate being sick. It's so frustrating."

"I can't seem to get warm..."

"I feel terrible for canceling our plans."

"I just want this to be over..."

"Thanks for taking care of me."

"I don't want to burden anyone.”

"I feel useless like this."

"I sound terrible, don't I?"

"I'm sorry if I'm being difficult..."

“Can you just…hug me?”

 “Don’t leave, please.”

 “I swear I wasn’t this sick this morning.”

 “Yes, I took medicine.”

 “You’re sure I’m sick?  ‘Cause I feel fine.”

 “I really cannot be sick right now.”

 “Everyone gets colds.  I’ll live.”

 “I really hope this is just my allergies.”

 “Stop thinking so loud; my head hurts.”

〘Types of Sickie〙

99.9% Immunity - they never get sick, right? Wrong. 

Elephant in the Room - they’re sick, but for some reason, perhaps rank or personality, no one is talking about it. Until it gets bad.

Heroes Don’t Take Sick Days - there’s no time to rest when you have to save the world, so sickie has to push themselves even when miserable. 

Insult to Injury - as if being injured wasn’t enough, now they’re getting sick too. 

Ill Timed - it is the worst possible time for them to be sick, but their body didn’t get the memo. 

Irreplaceable - they are the leader or the boss and aren’t able to take personal time off, even when they’re sick.

It’s Nothing - they insist they’re fine, right up until they collapse. 

Medic Down - How do the other characters handle it when their usual caretaker is sick?

Milking It - if they’re sick, they’re at least going to get as much pampering out of it as they can. 

Not a Word - sickie said they don’t get sick and isn’t in the mood for anyone to remind them while they recover. 

Stepping Up - boss/leader is clearly miserable, so the others go out of their way to take as much of their workload as possible. 

Suffer in Silence - for whatever reason, they don’t want anyone to know they’re sick and do everything they can to hide it.

Team Mom/Dad - the typical team Mom/Dad gets sick, leaving the others to scramble to take care of them.

〘Sickie Scenarios〙

🥀Feeling so out of it, they need constant attention.

🌹Barefoot sleeping wanderings. 

🪷Being let back to bed with patient whispers. 

🌷Collapsing into someone’s waiting arms. 

🌻Forehead kisses

🌼Being picked up 

🌸Being called things like baby, sweetheart or honey

🌺Shaky hands

💐 Waking up either adorably confused or painfully scared

🌾Comfort after a nightmare

🪴Medicine

🍀Nap

☘️Hand holding 

🌿Lullaby

🌴Reaching out for someone 

🌳Bath

🐍Thermometer

🌵Fingers running through sweaty hair

〘Caretaker Dialogue〙

"No, you're not fine. You're burning up.”

"You need to rest. I'll stay here with you until you feel better."

“Just let me take care of you."

"Here, take my blanket.”

“I’ll make some tea”

“You're in no condition to go anywhere.”

“Just rest and let your body fight this off."

“Take this medicine, please."

"I'm here now”

"Right now, the only person you need to help is yourself.”

“Let me hold you.”

“Save your energy.”

“Let me fuss over you."

"You just focus on resting, I'll take care of everything else."

"Let me make you some soup, it'll help soothe your throat."

"Don't worry, I'll handle all your responsibilities while you recover."

"Is there anything specific you need? I'll go get it for you."

"Here's a warm blanket to keep you cozy."

"I brought your favorite book/movie to help pass the time."

"I'll stay by your side until you're feeling better."

"Would you like some tea or hot water with honey?"

"You need to take these medications at the specified times. I'll set up reminders for you."

"Don't push yourself too hard; your health is the top priority."

"I'll run errands for you so you can rest without worrying about anything."

"How about I read to you or play some soothing music?"

"If you need anything during the night, just call, and I'll be here."

"I made you a get-well card. It's silly, but I hope it makes you smile.”

"You're not alone,"

"I'll keep the room warm for you. You don't need to get up."

"Let's open the window for some fresh air, but I'll keep you wrapped up warmly."

"How about we watch your favorite TV show together?"

"Remember to drink plenty of water. I'll keep a glass on the side table."

"You don't have to thank me; it's what friends/family do for each other."

"I'll handle the phone calls and messages for you, so you can focus on resting."

"Tell me if you're feeling uncomfortable, and I'll do my best to fix it."

"I brought you some flowers to brighten up your room."

"I'll fluff up your pillows to make you more comfortable."

"Lean on me if you need to get up; I'll support you."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything."

"Let me make you something to eat. You need to keep up your strength."

"You should rest; I'll handle everything else.”

"Here, take this medicine. It'll help you feel better."

"I brought you some tea to soothe your throat."

"Lean on me; I'll support you as you walk."

"You're not alone; I'm here for you."

"I'll keep you warm with an extra blanket."

"How about I read you a story to help you relax?"

"Let's watch your favorite movie."

"You don't have to worry about a thing; I've got it all under control."

"You should try to sleep; I'll keep an eye on you."

"I'll keep track of your medication schedule so you don't forget."

"Tell me if you need anything, and I'll get it for you."

"I made some soup for you. It's supposed to be good for healing."

"You should stay in bed and let me handle everything else."

"I'll handle all the chores; you just focus on getting better."

"I brought a few books; let me know if you want to read any."

"I'm here if you want to talk or just need someone to listen."

"I'll keep you company so you won't feel alone."

"I'll make sure the room is quiet so you can rest."

"I'm here to take care of you, no matter what."

[mummybear]

My Brother's Best Friend - Chapter One - Unexpected Night

Words: 4079

Warnings: Swearing, Dirty Talk, Attempted Assault (Implied Sexual), Possessive Stiles, Protective Stiles, Grinding, Talk Of Marking, Protective Scott. Think that's it.

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Reader/Sadie McCall, Lydia Martin, Liam Dunbar, Allison Argent, Travis(OC)

Summary: Stiles Stilinski has always been your weakness, but since he was your brother's best friend you'd stayed away. When Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills fresh from his time in the FBI Academy something is very different about the boy you once knew.

A/N So hey guys! I know it's been a while hopefully this is the start of me getting back into my writing! We shall see. I really hope you guys enjoy this, any feedback is encouraged as always, and please let me know if you would like a tag as I update.

Chapter 1 - Unexpected Night

I can’t believe this goddamn party is still going on. I am far too drunk right now, I just want to  sleep. However, as usual, my dumbass brother is too busy making out with his girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, Allison is amazing, and I’m so happy for them. They had realised that they belonged together not long ago, after years of dating something happened. Scott didn’t explain it further than saying it was a wolf thing, that apparently I wouldn’t understand. 

Mom always tells me never to go home by myself, however, right now I’m seriously considering it. I don’t even know why I came here tonight. It was stupid, they’re all his friends anyway, the great Scott McCall, I’m pretty sure people forget that I even exist. Not that I have any ill feelings towards him, he’s my brother, yes he might be a giant pain in the ass but all he’s ever done is protect me and look out for me.

If I’m honest with myself, I do know why I came here tonight, Stiles is here. He’s finally back from his FBI training, I hadn’t asked Scott too much about the situation, or how long he was back for. In fact I hadn’t even seen him yet. 

Yes it’s one giant cliche. I have the world's biggest crush on my big brother’s best and oldest friend. I think I have since I was ten and Stiles was fourteen, I’ve been following them around for the better part of ten years. Before that I’d avoided them as much as possible. Then one day everything changed, as soon as I started hanging out with Scott and his friends, I finally felt like I fit in. I’m not sure what changed exactly, but whatever it was made it easier for me to become part of their group. Scott’s probably everything a big brother should be, and I know if he knew what I felt for Stiles he’d try and talk to me about it. Probably try and make me see what I’m already afraid of, that Stiles and I wouldn’t work. 

Not really sure why I’m having these thoughts, probably has something to do with the fact that I’m drunk off my ass, in this random ass house. And while it may not be the best time for it, when I’ve been drinking my mind tends to wander. 

After finally traipsing my way upstairs I find a bedroom, one that doesn’t really appear to belong to anyone, at least not permanently. Maybe it’s a spare room? People still have those, right? I close the door softly behind me. I’m unable to find a lock for the door, so I opt to just lay down for a minute or two, just to rest my eyes. I quickly climb up onto the bed and as soon as my head hits the pillow I let out a sigh of relief, finally giving in. I close my eyes, hoping that both the room and my head will stop spinning at some point soon. I can hear some kind of arguing going on behind the door, but I can’t bring myself to open my eyes, it feels like they’re being weighed down, I hadn’t had a drink in such a long time, but I don’t remember it ever hitting me like this before.

Suddenly there’s the sound of the door crashing open, as it bounces hard against the wall, before it slams closed again. I wince, feeling a throbbing in my head suddenly and manage to wrench my eyes open. However, they snap all the way open in fear as soon as I register the big body standing in the corner of the room. I can feel eyes on me as a tense silence settles over the room. Clearly he knows I’m awake, but he’s yet to make a move. 

A sudden sickness overtakes me, when I hear Stiles on the other side of the door, quieter, but still audible, shouting my name, or his nickname for me. Mini or Mini McCall was the go to name for me among most of Scott’s friends. He sounds worried as he calls for me, and my head is so foggy that I can’t concentrate on anything, I can’t even tell if I’m imagining Stiles calling for me, why would he want to find me? He hadn’t so much as texted me since he’d been home, much less tried to see me or speak to me in person. It was strange, almost like he was avoiding me, even Stiles’s dad hadn’t seen him yet.

I clear my throat, testing out if I can speak or not, but the nerves are clear in my every word. “W-Who are you?” I manage to stutter out, my throat a little sore and my voice a bit hoarse. 

“Don’t you worry about it, Doll. Just close your eyes, don’t worry about anything, I'll take real good care of you. Go back to sleep,” there’s a clear threat in that deep voice, one that makes me shudder. 

I quickly sit up, doing my best to ignore the way the entire room blurs and moves once again. As I try to back myself into a corner, trying to make myself as small as possible. I know it’s stupid, but I also know I don’t stand a chance in hell of standing up right now, I’m scared and drunk off my ass, feeling like a fucking idiot for isolating myself in a freaking bedroom of all places, I should’ve just found Scott, or even Lydia.

He smirks at me as starts to walk closer and I can finally see his face. I don’t recognise him, but that isn’t really a shock, he’s definitely older than me, not sure if he’s older than my brother though. A sickness coats my throat just seeing the look on his face, the sick twisted grin. The door hasn’t stopped rattling since he stepped inside, so I keep my gaze fastened to it. 

I’m hoping for a miracle, however unlikely it might be. He closes in on me until I can no longer see the door behind him, because this guy's huge hulking frame is blocking my view of anything but him. On instinct I close my eyes and hold my legs tighter, and I finally let out a scream.

“Stiles!” The scream sounds helpless and terrified as it’s ripped from somewhere deep within me, which makes complete sense, given the current circumstances.

He reaches for me, I can feel his large moist palm as he grips my knee squeezing roughly, trying to pry my legs down or apart, with enough force to leave a bruise. But before he can get too far, the door smashes open against the wall once more, revealing a much more welcome intruder. My heart thuds even harder in my chest, because the guy releases me in surprise and whirls around on my saviour. 

I see him then, Stiles Stilinski in the flesh. And what flesh it is, he’s put on muscle lately. Muscle that could rival even that of my big brother, the true Alpha. But this guy is huge and I can see Stiles gulp from across the room, but his eyes harden as the flick between me and the guy who still has his hand firmly gripping my knee.

“Get your filthy fucking hands off of her!” Stiles shouts, taking another step into the room.

“Nah. Not gonna happen.” The guy states with a slimy grin, as his eyes slide over me, making me wish I was anywhere else.

“I said get the fuck away from her. What the hell is wrong with you?!” Stiles growls, stepping closer to this giant of a man. But I can only watch from where I sit, still paralysed with fear.

“Get over yourself, Stilinski, we were just gonna have a little fun. Stop being so hard up, go find your own pussy. This one's mine tonight, maybe I’ll let you have a go tomorrow. After I’ve used her up, such a pretty little body, bet she’s gonna feel real fuckin’ good.”

The words almost make me throw up, but my tongue feels swollen and I can speak. My eyes lock with Stiles for the first time in years as a tear slides down my cheek. 

“I’ll make you fucking eat those words, Travis. The only thing you’re about to feel is my fist,” Stiles snarls, “take your fucking hands off of her.”

“Whose makin’ me? Your pansy ass?” Travis laughs, removing his hands and taking a few steps closer to Travis.

Suddenly those deep brown eyes draw me in like never before and my heart stills in my chest. This is the first time I’ve seen him in a few months. The FBI program has kept him so busy lately that we haven’t seen much of him. But still, I could swear there’s something a little different about him, other than his size, but there’s definitely something different about his eyes, something that I can’t quite place.

I can’t tear my gaze away, instead they fall to his lips and I shift uncomfortably where I sit, suddenly a growl tears through the room. My eyes widen and I look to the doorway behind Stiles, expecting to see my brother, but he isn’t there. I swallow thickly as my eyes automatically snap back to Stiles, and I see it, the flaring of his nostrils, the way his eyes are focused entirely on me, then I realise the sound could only have come from him. But he doesn’t share the same wolf affliction that my brother has, at least, not that I know of. How much has changed since I last saw him! 

Stiles steps closer, body tense and unflinching. All traces of fear have disappeared from his face. Now he just looks furious, more so than anyone I’ve ever seen before. 

“Mate.” Stiles snarls, shoving the guy as soon as he’s close enough, and to my utter shock and surprise the guy slams back into the wall with a crash, leaving behind an imprint of his giant body as he slides down the wall with a groan. Everything happens so fast, I don’t have time to analyse what the hell Stiles meant when he’d growled that one word. But I can’t help but shudder with excitement at the way my body responded.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps hammering up the stairs, and before I know it Scott has Stiles pinned against him, as Liam all but wrestles the other guy from the room. 

“Stiles, you need to calm down, breathe buddy. ” Scott instructs calmly, his deep red Alpha eyes flaring to life, like they would when he’s trying to calm the other members of his pack. Something flits across my brother’s face as he relaxes his grip a little. Whatever it is, seems to register with Stiles that other than my brother we’re alone in the room and safe once again.

His body goes completely lax and Scott releases the tight band he’d been holding around his best friend. I can’t help but stare as Stiles staggers towards me. Safe to say I’ve sobered up in the last five minutes.

“Can one of you tell me what the hell just happened here?” Scott asks carefully, but I can’t take my eyes off of Stiles.

“Just give us a minute, Scott. I, um, I think I should talk to Stiles.” 

I hear my brother huff out a breath before he leaves, closing the door quietly behind him.

“I’ll be back in ten if you’re not downstairs before then, we’re going home.” He calls through the door. Then the door opens again and Scott smiles at us both, “oh and thanks for having my sister's back, buddy.”

Stiles turns towards the doorway with a slight smile as his eyes lock on his Alpha, “Always, Scotty, you know that. We won’t be long.”

I finally let myself relax a little when the door closes. Stiles crawls on the bed and sits in front of me. He rests his hand over the reddened skin on my knee, and lets out another quieter growl. “I’m gonna fucking kill him. He won’t ever touch anyone ever again.” 

“Hey, I’m okay,” I whisper, resting my hand on top of his, “you saved me.” 

He runs a shaking hand through his thick hair and his eyes lock with mine once more.

“I should’ve been here. I’m supposed to protect you, I’m so fucking sorry, Mini. If that sick fuck had touched you…” He sounds so defeated and my heart squeezes at his words.

“You got here in time, you’ve always had my back. This time wasn’t any different, except maybe that,” you giggle slightly, as you nod toward the dent in the wall.

He shifts closer to me and drops his forehead against mine, letting out a contented sigh. I let my eyes slip closed for a second. For once I give myself the freedom to enjoy the closeness, I open my eyes again and those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes are focused on mine. I lick my lips and feel the shuddered breath that escapes his lips. 

Ever so gently he reaches out and his thumb brushes my bottom lip. 

“You’re so fucking beatiful. Please tell me you feel this, Mini, because you smell so damn good, I don’t know If I’m strong enough to stay away.” 

I swallow thickly as his nose nudges mine gently, my entire body practically vibrating with need. 

“Y-Yeah, I feel it,” I reply quietly, scared that if I talk too loud this dream will end, I don’t dare to tell him just how long I’ve felt these things though.

“Then we should probably talk. Because I need to tell you some things before this goes any further,” he replies, voice hoarse and strained, like it’s painful for him to speak these words. But then he goes to pull away and all my instincts go into overdrive, and I finally give in to what I want, I clamp onto him and don’t let go.

Nor do I fight the need to keep him close to me. Right where he belongs. My fingers push into his thick hair and I gently tug him back towards me, just those last few millimetres. Until his lips brush mine ever so briefly. He doesn’t even try to fight me, and I can feel the shudder that runs through his entire body when I push him back and straddle his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist. I think there’s some kind of trick of the lights because I could swear there’s this purple glow in his eyes for a few seconds before they settle back on brown. But I push the thought  away for now, and press myself a little closer. So that every part of our bodies is connected.

“Tell me later, please Stiles, I need this.” I hope I don’t sound as desperate as I feel, Stiles doesn’t move, but I hear how hard he swallows, almost like a gulp as he lets his eyes slip closed. Following his lead I let my own eyes close when his hand cups my cheek, the other hand slips somewhere much less innocent. When he cups my ass his long fingers curl and he squeezes slightly, letting out a groan of pleasure when I grind down against the obvious hardness pressing against me.

Suddenly his lips are on mine, insistent and urgent, and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. Our lips are in perfect sync, and a shudder rolls through me when his tongue nudges my lips, seeking permission that I happily and easily grant. I’m rocking my hips in a steady rhythm now, and the kiss grows deeper, his fingers dig harder into my skin as he urges me to keep moving. 

Holding me as close as he physically can against his body, Stiles sits up, turning us so that my back hits the mattress and he’s hovering above me. He breaks our kiss and I gasp for breath as he drags his lips across my cheek and down into the crease of my neck. He groans as he inhales deeply, “smell so good. My mate. Just wanna mark you up, make you mine the right way.” His voice vibrates against my skin and I shiver as he laps at the soft skin of my neck.

Confusion sweeps through my lust-addled brain at his wording. 

“What do you mean?” I ask breathlessly, more confused about his words than I’d care to admit.

Pulling back to meet my eyes he smiles, and ducks his head looking a little more like the Stiles I remember. I cup his cheek gently, urging him to look at me again.

“This is why I said we should talk. I can’t do what I need to. Not without you knowing what you’re letting yourself in for. I’m not the same man I was the last time I saw you, something happened, I just…I don’t know how to begin to explain this.”

It hurts me that he sounds so defeated already, almost like he’s worried about what he has to tell me.

“Don’t you know by now, nothing you tell me will change how I see you,” I tell him honestly, pulling him closer so his body is pressed against mine, and he finally lets some of his weight rest on me.

“I wanna believe you, but I’m scared. This is huge, and I can’t let anyone down, but especially you, I can’t lose you. Especially not now I know what you are to me, not now I’m so close.” 

Before I can ask what he means there’s a hesitant knock on the door, before it slowly creaks open. Liam stands there, watching us sheepishly for a few seconds before Stiles growls at him, I can’t help but frown as I look up at my protector. But then I see it again, the purple in his eyes. 

The gasp falls from my lips unintentionally and as soon as it does Stiles snaps his gaze towards me. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath, his fingers tightening their hold on me and I can only stare up at him. 

“Liam, get the fuck out. Now!” Stiles snarls.

“But, Scott said…” 

Stiles is off the bed before I can react, when I do finally open my eyes I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Stiles has Liam pinned to the wall by his throat. And Liam is trying to get free, but he’s stuck fast. I can’t help but wonder, how the hell is that possible! 

Mouth agape I watch as my brother’s Beta looks over at me, “little help here, mini. Calm your man down, please.” 

My man? I inwardly ask myself, we’ve fooled around for all of 5 minutes and suddenly he’s mine. While I can’t fight the pleasure at hearing those words, I also can’t help but fight the confusion, maybe he wants me to calm Stiles down so he doesn’t have to hurt him. 

“What do you want me to do?” I ask nervously, looking between the two of them.

Stiles gives a final squeeze before dropping Liam and racing to me, covering me with his body. 

“Don’t you dare fucking look at her!” Stiles snarls, his arms shaking as he holds himself above me. “Tell Scott we’re coming and leave now!” Stiles warns in a low commanding voice that sends shivers racing across my body as he carefully tugs my skirt back into place. 

I can’t deny the pulse between my thighs, even as I clamp them shut, and the whimper that falls from my lips causes Stiles to stiffen. Before he’s off the bed, practically throwing Liam further down the hallway when he doesn’t move by himself, slamming the door behind him. Before he turns back to me. 

“God, please tell me you know what you just said,” Stiles rasps as he pulls me up off the bed and hauls me against his hard body.

“I don’t… what do you mean?” I ask, frowning in confusion, as I try to search his eyes for an answer. I hadn’t said anything… had I?

Stiles whimpers like those words cause him some kind of pain. He shakes his head, running his fingers through the thick mass of hair before tugging at it harshly. I want to comfort him but I don’t know how. Hell I don’t have a clue what the fuck is happening right now.

“We can’t do this. Not right now.” His words sound harsh and bitter, no matter how softly he speaks them.

I stumble away from him, confusion and hurt lancing through me like an actual weapon. I know there’s a reason for this, but it doesn’t hurt any less, doesn’t feel any less like rejection either. Tears fill my eyes, it’s irrational and I don’t feel even remotely in control of my emotions right now, but I can’t stop it, maybe i’m still drunk. Though it doesn’t feel like that’s it. Stiles steps towards me again and I step back, “no, no. Please, Sadie, I want to. But not until you know everything! I swear to you, whatever you’re thinking, we can talk about it. Please, Mini, just trust me.” 

Hearing my real name on his lips is so strange, but I can’t deny that I really like hearing him say it.

I feel myself giving in, because as much as it hurts to have him turn me down, he's still one of the best people in my life. And despite myself, I’ve been in love with this pain in the ass longer than I can even remember, he’s yet to let me down in a real way. Letting out a sigh, I know it’s best to give him the chance to explain.

“Fine. Then let’s talk.” 

He swallows thickly, as I watch him carefully. Pretty sure I’m not going to like the next thing that comes out of his mouth. He looks nervous and twitchy.

He winces before he even speaks, “I’m sorry. But not here, let’s go home, there’s too many ears here. I swear I’ll tell you everything as soon as we’re safe,” he all but begs, holding out his hand for me.

Pushing away any and all doubts, I take his hand. Watching as he visibly relaxes and pulls me closer to him.

“Thank you, I promise, I’ll make this up to you,” he whispers before pressing a kiss to my inner wrist. Yet another shiver ripples through my body at the contact that I can’t control. 

He keeps me tucked into his side as we leave the room, careful to touch as few people as possible while we walk. When we finally make it outside, Scott’s waiting with the rest of the pack. Stiles looks reluctant to get in the car, judging by the way Liam forces his body closer to the opposite door Stiles’ look had been less than friendly. 

He slips inside and I can’t help but squeak in surprise as he hauls me inside with him, not into my own seat but so that my back is tightly pressed against his front, and his arms band protectively around my waist. 

“Dude. Come on! Not in my car, she’s still my little sister. Damn,” Scott groans, locking eyes with Stiles in the rear view mirror.

Stiles seems to consider his words before he reluctantly relents, moving to the middle seat before he gently eases me into the seat as far away from Liam as humanly possible. Keeping a hand firmly planted on my thigh, huffing like a petulant child, I can’t help but giggle. It’s almost like he can’t stop himself from touching me. His long fingers tightly curl around my leg, almost like he’s afraid someone will take me from him if he lets go. Taking a deep breath I tentatively slip my fingers between the gaps in his, gently squeezing them, hoping to offer even a little comfort, those big brown eyes jump to mine and he visibly relaxes into the seat.

I look up and catch my brother’s eyes. I can’t work out the look on his face, for the first time since we were kids, I can’t tell what he’s thinking and for some reason that only makes me even more anxious.

Tags: @julzdec @lettersofwrittencollective @mogaruke @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @lilulo-12fanfiction @charmed-asylum @defenderrosetyler @foxyjwls007 @mylovelydame21 @akshi8278 @stylesismyhubs @peachyyybabyy @fantasy-myth1 @coffeebooksandfandom @magssteenkamp @screamxqueenx94 @brien-odylan @riseandshinelittleblossom @ceceliaking-18 @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @missindecision @chewie-redbird

[dcfanfictioncatalogue]

stephanie brown NOV 2023 fic awards

this is part of a new experimental thing I'm doing, where I will comb through every fic posted/updated in a character tag for a specific month and find my favorites! I hope this will encourage people to read and comment on new and active fics with less-focused-on characters.

-> Action & Plot <-

Purr-ple Power [series: 2/2], by Cephalogod. 5.7k, T, timsteph pre-relationship. summary: batman wouldn't listen to steph about her dad, but luckily for steph, a certain cat-themed vigilante is more than willing to. my notes: I adore "stray" fics/AUs, so it's about time steph got one! her particular brand of mischievousness is more than suited to selina's, and tim in this series is so funny. love!!

&&

Road to Recovery, by Solemini. 19.8k, T, gen, 6/6. summary: cass leaves steph the batgirl suit, and everything changes. a complete rewrite of batgirl 2009. my notes: god. this steph is angry. and she deserves to be-- she hates the world for not treating her right, she resents her upbringing. this is our angry robin. but it is, despite that, a tale of joy and love. basically, it's a gorgeous retelling of batgirl 2009.

-> Fluff & Humor <-

the relief of home, with you, by MermaidMarie. 2.5k, G, stephcass. summary: a series of little moments in the home steph and cass share. my notes: AAAGHGHG this was so cute!!! absolutely adorable and lovely 10/10 no notes the perfect friends to lovers domestic fluff

&&

the purple menace and camera boy, by waffleinatorinator. 1.2k, T, timsteph pre-relationship. summary: steph is spoiler, tim is a civilian, and he finds her injured in a dumpster. my notes: they're so cute!!! this is just one little scene but it's an adorable setup and I enjoyed it immensely.

⇘     click for more!     ⇘

-> Whump & Angst <-

distress signal, by waffleinatorinator. 5.4k, T, implied stephcass. summary: cass's distress signal goes off. steph runs across a city for her. my notes: the angst is DELICIOUS. the author's tag of "if there was a pwp tag for whump i would use it" rings very true. definitely good steph angst >:)

&&

i swear that i'll be yours forever 'til forever falls apart, by waffleinatorinator. 800, not rated, timsteph flavoring. summary: steph comes back as the red hood, and she's out for revenge -- but she doesn't get what she expected. my notes: this concept is everything to me -- reverse robins tim as red hood always bugs me when steph is logically supposed to be in that spot in the order and when it fits her story so much better. I also love tim's dedicated loyalty to her here, and how insane they both are &lt;3

-> Currently Updating <-

Girls Against God, by cookiesncrows. 36.3k, M, stephcass endgame, 22/?. summary: jim gordon falls ill, which means babs and james have to tolerate each other enough to take care of him. in the interim, kate kane moves back to gotham to be the new batgirls' mentor, which steph and cass are not fond of. my notes: ohh the angst is so good!! this fic is very heavy on the character interaction and the plot which I personally adore, and the inclusion of lesser-known characters that are written very well makes this whole world feel fleshed out and real.

&&

The Ping-Pong Wars, by fadesfanfic. 6.6k, G, gen, 5/?. summary: steph beats damian at ping-pong, and damian becomes hellbent on reclaiming his honor. my notes: it's silly and fluffy and somehow manages to perfectly capture the batgirl 2009 vibe of steph trying to bond with this feral little child. well worth the read!!! &lt;3

send me an ask for fic rec lists ++ to find a fic lost to the sands of time

[gyuswinter]

summary — choi beomgyu would do anything to gain just a second of y/n’s attention. to changing himself, getting himself into arguments, honestly everything. hes head over heels for y/n.

04 ; i really cant do it — masterlist

warnings — mm cursing? also this is a pretty boring chapter i wrote this in one sitting half asleep at 4am with a sore throat soo This is short and looks p rushed I SWEAR I CAN WRITE BETTER THAN THIS

the hallway is quiet, and empty. only the sounds of beomgyus footsteps could be heard. never did beomgyu thought he would skip class to ask his crush, y/n l/n on a date.

his hands are sweaty, and he is nervous. the closer he gets to your classroom, he can feel his heart beating louder and faster. why was he doing all this again? trying to get your attention just by asking you out on a date? thats dumb. he could just comment on your tweets, send you a message, and many more. why a date?

after a few minutes of rethinking and walking to your class, he arrives.

“10 minutes left until her class ends.. i can do it!” he encourages himself, also checking his wristwatch every 10 seconds.

…

…

the longer he waits, the more nervous he gets. what if you think hes weird? you dont even know him. but wait, he can tell you hes been your secret admirer this whole time! but what if you think hes creepy?

“3 minutes left.. i dont think i can do it,” he thinks. he decides to just stay there, next to your classroom’s door.

and then, the bell rings.

“oh no.. im fucked” beomgyu scratches his head and looks around, trying to find a hiding spot just incase. he could hear you talking to your friends, your voice getting louder and clearer every second. this could only mean one thing; you are about to exit the classroom.

“fuck it, i really cant do it!”

he mentally facepalms himself and walks away from your class like nothing happened 10 minutes ago. if he knew this was gonna happen, he would have never skipped class. oh he is so going to get made fun of in the friends’ groupchat.

authors note — baboom lol here.. this is so bad im cryin 😭 i am posting this at 3am, maybe a double update today bc ill be busy for 3 days 🙏 mm thank u for readint hsi absolute dog water😭

taglist — @openingssequence @bucketofhiros @georgi-salva @sakuzleaves @luvyjeons @qluvrv @captivq @luvdokja @soobsfairy444 @whippedforbeomgyu @koeuh @i8lhee @xuimhao

[strxbrymochi]

chapter 16. the sleeptalker

masterlist • previous • next

taglist: open!

warning// lil bit of swearing

IM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG ill update every week now <//3

word count: the word counter wont work but i would say around 3k

jeno knew better to interfere into an existing relationship, especially if it concerned his best friend and his well, ex-best friend now coworker. but even with morals and ethics concerned, he was looking at you sleeping peacefully on your desk, stacks and stacks of papers on your side and a bunch of other documents sprawled under your arms. your laptop and monitor shining bright on your face in the dark.

jeno sighs. he didn't expect you to be here, let alone ASLEEP he looked through the monitor and saw you were cross checking records for a big presentation tomorrow for one of the company's biggest clients. over the past couple months working together, the two of you had started to open up to each other again, moving closer to actually being friends, after everything that happened. and that was how jeno knew you were stressed big for this report. hell, he was the one who assigned it to you because he knew he could trust you.

he frowns at the sight of you. he didn't think you would go overtime and clearly this report and presentation was tiring you out. he felt terrible. he never wanted any of his employees to compromise their health for the sake of work. especially you.

jeno stands there for a couple more minutes trying to think of what to do. he looks at his watch, 11:52pm. you know what, maybe she'll wake up soon. he thinks to himself. he goes back to his office and gets started on some contracts for the meeting tomorrow, occasionally glancing at you from the clear glass of his office walls. she's pretty cute. he thinks, watching you sleeping so peacefully, the light from your monitors illuminating your features so perfectly. no. get yourself together. you don't know what you're saying, you're tired. he rubs the thoughts out his head.

1:16am

jeno finishes off the contracts with a satisfied sigh. he stands up to stretch and looks towards the glass only to see you, still asleep. he frowns. what should he do now? should he wake you up? you looked so peaceful and tired, he didn't want to disturb you. should he bring you with him? no, that wasn't right on so many levels.

i should call mark. he says whipping out his phone to call his friend.

the line rings for a while. "hey, this is mark. quite busy right now so can't come to the phone. leave your message after the beep and ill get to you!" crap voicemail.

jeno tries calling again. one more. two times. three times more. anxious every time, hand on his waist, looking down at you. he can't leave you here, and he can't leave if you're still here either.

"hello?" he hears on the other side, after what felt like ages. a wave of relief flushes across him.

"hyung," he says. "y/n went overtime and she's asleep on her desk, can you pick her up?"

"aish, that sounds like her." mark says with a small chuckle. "look jen, i'm actually in a meeting with a client right now that i can't leave, could you bring her home?"

remember that sense of relief jeno felt when mark picked up? yea that was all out the window now.

"what?" he says. "you want me to bring her home?"

"i mean yea, you're her friend too. i really would pick her up but i really need to close this deal and it's a really important client, i'm sure you'd understand."

oh did he understand all right. as much as he hated to admit it, mark was right, they were all friends. why was he making it such a big deal?

"look, ill send you our address. i trust you jen, get her home safe yea?" mark's voice interrupts his thoughts.

"i, yea. i will." he says, ending the call.

his fingers linger on the phone keypad. maybe he can call your friends? yea, that sounds like a good idea. only he didn't have any of their contacts and he didn't think his own friends would be very helpful in this situation either.

he puts his phone back in pocket and looks at your sleeping figure. he sighs before lightly tapping you on the shoulder. you move and a wave of electricity jolts through his body. that's weird. he thinks. he taps you again. this time, you wake up slightly, rubbing your eyes and sitting up.

it takes you a while to realize where you are and when you do, you jolt upwards, hands slamming the desk, jeno jumping back in surprise.

"fuck, i fell asleep." you say under your breath, trying to organize the documents on your table in a hurry. in the process you notice jeno watching you. you freeze and look at him like a kid caught stealing halloween candy in the middle of the night.

"shit, i'm so sorry jeno. i didn't mean to fall asleep, what time is it?" you say, scrambling to find your phone in the mess.

"y/n it's okay. how about we get you home for proper rest and you can worry about the presentation tomorrow?" he says. how can he be so calm?

you open your mouth to come up with an excuse but he stops you. "i've called mark and he told me to bring you home. so grab your stuff and let's go. i'll see you at the elevators in 5 minutes." he goes back to his office to grab his things, leaving you watch him leave.

you sigh defeated before packing up your things and make your way to the elevators. stumbling a bit due to your heels, mentally cursing yourself for choosing to wear these shoes, and well, falling asleep in the first place.

-----

you make it to his car and the drive is silent. you open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. "mark-hyung sent me your address. don't worry i'm not kidnapping you."

you nod and close your mouth. he knew what you were gonna ask. that's weird, but cool... i think? he was your best friend for quite a while anyways. why were you so shocked about it?

the rest of the ride was silent, the sound of the air circulating from the a/c, the sound of the car and engine going in a steady pace and the wind from the window breezing through your face. you feel yourself getting sleepier, and before you knew it, your eyes slowly fell shut.

--------

you wake up the next morning in your bed. in pajamas? who the hell? the last memory you have was falling asleep in jeno's car. your eyes widen. shit.

you look to your side to see your bed empty. you quickly get up, stumbling, to get out of your room. as you open the door and walk into the kitchen, you see mark already up, sitting on the table with a coffee in front of him, reading something on his phone.

"morning baby" he says. "did you sleep well?"

you stand frozen. "i-, what-, how-," you stumble over your words. you didn't know how to start.

he laughs, "cute." he mutters. "do you want coffee? get you awake for your presentation so you don't fall asleep midway?"

you nod and walk to the table slowly and sit. he hands you a mug and you take a sip.

"jeno brought you home last night. i would've picked you up but i was stuck in a last minute meeting with mr. jeong. you know how he is, pretty tough, didn't even consider timezones..." he sighs and you nod slowly, taking another sip, mind still running miles per hour.

"he dropped you off on the couch, i guess he didn't know where the room was lol," mark continues recalling the events of last night. "he did put the blanket over you though. i came out after the meeting and saw you so i brought you to the room and got you changed."

you sigh, so mark changed you and not jeno. your heart paused for a split second if you were being honest.

mark continued talking. "i don't know why he didn't text me or anything when you guys got here. but oh well, he was probably tired as well."

huh. you finish your coffee with mark and excuse yourself to get ready.

"also y/n" mark says. "i didn't know you sleep talked."

what the hell was he talking about?

"in the 2 years we've been together that was the first time i heard you do that. it was pretty interesting." you freeze.

"what did i say?" you asked him, scared.

"oh, nothing much don't worry, just a lot of random things. like someone leaving you and how you wish they didn't reject you because if only they knew something something? i don't remember much, it was pretty vague, i assumed you were impersonating a tv show you watched or something."

you froze. fuck.

"babe you okay? you're gonna be late for your presentation."

"shit you're right." you say scrambling back to your room to get ready. you were gonna have to just deal with this later.

💞: @n0hyuck @toodleeee @vianna99

[littlefroginthegarden]

Sold to Heartsteel 1/24

its a liiiittle bit late but whatever... im trying to write an advents calendar fic, theres some buffer but ill write during the month so im also open to input if you have any good ideas :)

hope you enjoy!

Tags: semi-ironic adaptation of 'sold to one direction' trope so yeah theres obv selling involved, angst, fluff, friendship, romance, maybe smut, mlm, transmasc character, some transphobia but mostly just parents being shit but nothing explicit or slurs or stuff, yeah i think thats about it, ill update this if anything changes xoxo

Part 1

Hi, my name is Hwei and I’m a misunderstood artist. Well, that’s not exactly true. My Parents hate my art and they think it’s just a waste of time. But under the name DemonBrush I’m known all around the world, my art account just recently hit two million followers. Which didn’t help me at all in my real life. I’ve been 18 now for a few months but my parents still act like I’m 16. I haven’t finished school yet and I can’t move out because my anxiety has made working impossible so far. My parents don’t allow me to get therapy or meds and I’m on their insurance so there’s nothing I can do. I sigh and try to think about something else but looking out my small window into the dark December morning isn’t helping. I go and pull the curtains, turn on my fairy lights and sit at my small desk that is crammed between the bed and the heavy wooden dresser. 

My reflection stares at me in the mirror, dark shadows under my amethyst eyes, a sign that I slept terribly, once again. The nightmares wouldn’t leave me alone. I sigh and start doing my makeup, nothing bright, just some smudged dark eyeshadow and black eyeliner on my waterline. My mom was probably gonna complain again but I don’t care. Last week she told me “People might think you’re gay!” Yeah, sure mom. I mean, why do you think I have all these Heartsteel posters hanging in my room? Because I love their one song so much? But when she says "gay" she means "lesbian". She would have an aneurysm if I tried to explain to her that I’m trans. And then she would probably throw me out. As if she could read my thoughts, I hear her shouting from downstairs “Come down immediately, Hwa! I can hear that you’re up.”

Ugh.

I throw on a black oversized hoodie that matches my skinny jeans (also black) and put my dark juniper green hair in a messy bun before I run downstairs as quick as I can. Better not make mom wait, she’s awful enough as is.

When I enter the kitchen, I almost bump into a large man in a suit that is standing next to my mom.

“Oh fuck, sorry!” I quickly say, getting a death stare from my mom but for once she doesn’t even berate me for swearing. She just looks between me and this dude, who was wearing dark sunglasses (in December!) for some fucking reason.

“Who is this?” I ask after a few moments of awkward silence.

“My name is Mr. Mundo, nice to meet you, Hwa.” His voice fits his impressive stature perfectly.

My mother steps forward and puts her hand on my shoulder, looking at me more seriously than I have ever seen her. “You know that we haven’t had the easiest time since dad lost his job. And since you refuse to work and pay your share, we had no other choice.”

“What do you mean? What choice?” I ask, slowly starting to panic.

“You’ll go with Mr. Mundo, he has a job for you where you’ll work for six months. You’ll get a room and food and the money goes to pay back all the debt you owe us.”

“Debt? What do I owe you?”

“Darling, you've been living and eating here for free for 18 years!”

“This is insane!” I yell at her. “You’re selling me? You are a monster!”

“Selling? It’s just temporary honey, and it’s a decent job, don’t make it sound worse than it is!”

“You can’t do that, I’m an adult, you can’t force me!” At this point I’m full on panicking. This can’t be happening, it should just be another nightmare. But I know it’s real. My nightmares are way different.

“You are right and nobody is forcing you. But think about this, it would give you the perfect opportunity to get some good job experiences while at the same time helping out your family! Also –” she adds “if you don’t take this offer then you’ll have to pack your bags, we can’t pay for you any longer.”

“If you stayed off the booze you could.” I press through my teeth, anger winning over panic.

She just ignores it and tells me “Please Honey, think about it. If you go with Mr. Mundo at least you’ll have a roof and food. We just want what’s best for you! You’ll thank us in a few years, mark my words.” With this she turns around and leaves me alone in the kitchen with this absolute hunk of a man.

“Go pack your stuff, we leave in an hour.” He hands me a big suitcase before sinking down onto the washed-out red leather couch in the living room, turning the TV on, unfazed by all of this as if it was his daily job. Which it probably was.

Still in shock, I go back to my room and just stare at the mirror for a solid minute. I still haven’t processed what just happened but I start throwing my most important stuff into the suitcase. I have a lot of clothes but most of them are from my parents and I hate wearing them. So it’s not too difficult to fit all my favorite pieces into the suitcase, some skinny jeans, flowy tops and hoodies and of course accessories, I can’t leave my choker collection here. Then I go to my bed and from under the mattress I pull my binder. I put it under all the other things so it won’t be visible if my mom checks my suitcase. She would freak out. I gather the rest of the stuff, making sure I have my laptop, makeup and favorite books, and check the time. I still have 15 minutes left but at this point, the quicker I’m gone the better. I grab the heavy suitcase and try to carry it down the stairs. Two steps in I nearly slip and the suitcase crashes onto the step with a loud Thud. Before I’m even up I can hear heavy steps on the stairs.

Mr. Mundo grabs the suitcase without saying a word and carries it down. I awkwardly follow him, hoping my mom is distracted and hasn’t noticed the commotion. For once I seem to be lucky, she’s nowhere to be seen. At the door, Mr. Mundo turns around and asks me “Are you sure that you have everything? You won’t be able to come back here anytime soon.”

“Yeah I’m not planning on doing that anyways. Can we go?” I ask impatiently.

He doesn’t answer and just opens the door and walks down the driveway towards the black car with darkened windows that is waiting at the end of it. He puts my suitcase in the back of it with ease and opens the door in the back, gesturing for me to get in. I hesitate for a second, but when I can hear the front door of the house open again, I quickly get in before I can hear whatever my mother wants to tell me. He slams the door behind me and gets into the driver’s seat, which I can’t even see from back here because there’s a divider between the front and the back of the car. Like in a limousine. Or a cop car. It feels more like the latter, like I’m a prisoner.

The car rumbles to life and even though the windows are heavily tinted, I can see the shadows of trees racing past us. Where are we going?

[ghost-of-you]

we just danced backwards into each other - ch - part 8

Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character.

Warnings: Swearing, mildly angsty vibes.

Word Count: 8k

Authors note: sorry this one took so long, i got stuck on a scene here and nothing i wrote about it was working, but finally got it and things started flowing a lot better, i actually already have a good chunk of the next part written, so hopefully ill update soon

Read it on AO3

Part 7

Masterlist

_______

Lena smiles from her place on the floor when Calum greets her, fixing the last of the cables, before scrambling to her feet and out of the booth. She had asked him to meet her in the studio with little notice so even though he told her he'd be there, she's excited to see him.

“I had an idea,” she says, bouncing on her feet as she stops in front of him, looking up at him expectantly, making him chuckle.

"Okay?”

"You know how we agree that voice note is like, the best version of the song?" She asks, waiting for him to agree before continuing, "what if we did the song as a live take? I can clean it and mix it and if it sounds good we go with it, if it doesn’t we’ll try something else." 

“Sounds like a plan,” he nods and she grins at him. 

“So you’re in?”

“It’s your song,” he laughs and she frowns at him. 

“Come on, it’s ours,” she playfully shoves his shoulder making him chuckle, “I just thought that like this it would stay, you know, ours,” she shrugs, turning around to get her notebook in her backpack.

“Is that why we’re alone?” He asks, sounding confused as he sits in one of the chairs next to the board. 

“I am qualified, you know?" She shrugs, sitting next to him. It wasn't easy to get her team to allow this to happen, but she had worked as an engineer for herself on other tracks of the album, so there wasn't a real excuse to not let her do it for this one. "There's a catch though, they need to be on while we record," she says, pointing through the glass into the booth to the 2 cameras set up around the piano, "and if you don't want that we can figure something-" she trails off as he looks at her, an amused glint in his eyes.

“Are you nervous?” He teases and she looks at him in disbelief.

“Yeah? I only ever did this for myself, having someone else in the studio is intimidating."

“It’s just me,” he chuckles and she rolls her eyes. 

“Shut up, do you know how many number-one albums you have? Right now you’re not the boy who used to copy my math homework," she complains, running her hands through her hair and he laughs. 

"The boy who copied your math homework? That's all I am?"

"Oh, yeah, absolutely, just the kid that sat behind me." 

“Love,” he says, tilting his head and she can tell he can see she’s spiraling.

“I want this to work,” she tells him, glancing at the controls, before dropping her head, “I need this to work." 

"It's gonna work. Are you done setting up?" 

"Yeah," she nods, and he grabs her hand, pulling her up.

"Okay, come on," he says, moving them to the booth. 

“Sit down,” Calum says, patting the seat beside him and she narrows her eyes at him.

“Why?”

“I’m teaching you the song,” he says, reaching for her hand and pulling her towards him, and she rolls her eyes, sitting down.

“You know can’t play that.” 

“Nonsense.”

“I really can’t.”

“Just trust me.”

“Me trusting you doesn’t change the fact I can’t play the piano.”

"Can you hit a key on the right tempo?"

“I can’t make any guarantees,” she laughs, hitting some random notes just prove her point.

“I believe in you,” he teases, and she sighs, looking at her hands before looking back at him.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

Lena didn't plan on making that noise into the microphone. She didn't plan on making that noise at all. Given the way it had echoed through the arena, calling it a squeal didn't feel big enough. A shriek? A flat-out scream? All she knew is that every eye in the area around the stage and the soundboard was on her and Sylvia was looking at her fondly annoyed.

"Sorry, everyone," she apologized into the mic, making a point of keeping her voice as soft as she could through the excitement coursing through her veins, backing away from it at the same time she met Calum's questioning eyes as he moved closer to the stage from the floor. 

He'd been watching her soundcheck lately. It sometimes made her wonder if he knew her songs were all about feelings she had about him. When he'd ask her to sing a song she hadn't thought about in a while, the ones that are bubbly and fun and so painfully hopeful and that she was always surprised to find out he even knew. She'd always sing them though, fumbling through notes on the ones she hadn't played in a while just because it seemed to make him happy. 

It actually took a lot of effort for her not to just jump off the stage into his arms once he got close enough for her to do it. So she settled on sitting on the edge reaching a hand out for him and he had barely finished helping her down before she was throwing her arms around his neck.

"What happened?" He laughed, the hands he still had on her waist moving to wrap around her.

"I just got nominated for best new artist," she said, hiding her face in his neck and moving to step away from him but he kept his arm around her, locking her in place, smiling widely at her.

"Okay, that noise makes sense now," he teased and she pouted, "congratulations, love," he added.

"Thanks," she grinned, moving to hug him again before stepping back. This time he let her go but grabbed her hand dragging her with him around the arena before she could question what he was doing. Not that she thought really hard about questioning. She was done with soundcheck, and they needed to clear the area for the band's soundcheck with the fans anyway.

When he pushed a door open and pulled her inside a room, she was tempted to ask though. She didn't have to, he was pressing her against the door he'd just closed, lips finding hers before she even began to form a question. 

Lena would like to say she was used to what it felt like to kiss Calum. She would also be lying. But now she was allowed to kiss him, most times it was more soothing than dizzying. 

But then, sometimes, he'd surprise her like that and she'd forget that she needed oxygen. Hell, she'd forget her own name. His lips on hers and his hands digging into her waist and his hair under her fingers and the thundering noise her heart made were the only thing that existed. 

Calum was the one that pulled away. Maybe pulled away was an exaggeration. He was still very much in her space, forehead against hers as she gasped for the air he stole from around her.  

"I'll take it you're proud of me," she laughed, still feeling breathless.

"We're celebrating." 

"It's just a nomination," she giggled but he shook his head.

"It's your first nomination, love, we're celebrating." 

"When you say celebrating," she trailed off when he moved to kiss a path across her jaw and down her neck. 

"I mean, partying,” Calum said the words to her skin, hands sneaking under her shirt, “and then taking advantage of the way there's no show tomorrow and a hotel room with my name on it."

"I like the way you think, Hood,” she said, a little breathless, as his hands moved higher, “but you need to chill out because I'm not letting you fuck me in a supply closet in a venue," she pulled back, turning them so he would be the one against the door, but stepping back from him, and he smirks at her, a knowing look that made her cheeks burn, "that was one time! And it was an office, not a closet," she complained as he pulled her back to him with a laugh.

"Does it change anything?" He asked, lips pressed to her neck and she giggled.

"For starters, clean surfaces, and you know, a door that locked." 

"I'm pretty sure this door also locks," he chuckled, feeling around the door until the lock clicked.

"That's not the point." She got cut off when he kissed her again, more insistent this time and it was hard to think while his hands moved on her. "Nope, not happening, also you need to go to your soundcheck," she moved a hand to his chest, and he pouted at her as she felt around for the lock, “but I’ll make it up to you tonight,” she punctuated her words with a kiss to his cheek while she pushed the door open.

"Why did we never write together before?" Lena asks, turning to look at him. They've done a few takes and she thinks she has enough to work with, but the thought of moving away from the bench is incredibly unappealing. So she's stalling.

"We never talked about it," Calum shrugs and she pouts.

"Why?" 

"I don't know, why did you never bring it up?" 

"Because I was writing about you and I thought it would be awkward," she deadpans, startling a laugh out of him, "but hey, we're good together, the song is good, so like, why have we never done this before?" She asks again and he watches her for a second before answering.

"It just never seemed like a good moment to ask."

"Why?" 

"We never got around to it when we were in school and the only other time it could've happened was on tour and-" he cuts himself, making her frown.

"What?" 

"Honestly? I think it was gonna make us talk about what it all meant." 

"And that would definitely be awkward."

"But, if you're up for it, we can do it again, I know you write with Luke so, maybe," he shrugs and she smiles at him.

"Well, my album is done and from what Luke told me so is yours, so maybe we can revisit this conversation when we start working on the next one, or if any of us has an idea that could work," she offers and he nods.

"Deal."

"Okay, I'm pretty sure I have all I need, so we should get out of here," Lena says after a beat of silence, getting up from the bench.

"Wait, I got you something," Calum says, pulling a jewelry box from his pocket and she frowns at him.

"Why?" She asks, eyeing the box as she takes it.

"You keep reaching for your neck," he shrugs as she opens it and pulls the necklace there out so she could look at it. It's a little silver sun, the shape kind of looks like the one from Tangled and she smiles at how detailed the charm is for something so small.

"Why a sun?" She asks, still studying the charm, somewhat fascinated about the way the little gems in it catch the light when she moves it. 

"It made me think of you." The way he says it makes her focus shift to him, watching his face, unsure of how to feel. 

"Thank you," she breathes, still looking at him as he smiles at her, "can you?" She asks, handing him the necklace and turning around, moving her hair out of the way for him to put it on for her, smiling down at it before turning back to him.

"Does this mean I need to get you a moon or something like that now?" She laughs, reaching for his necklace hanging on the front of his shirt, her bracelet dangling next to it.

"I don't think we need to match every gift we get each other," he laughs, shaking his head and she scrunches her nose looking at him.

"Well, but you got me this because you don't want me to want the bass," she says and he shrugs.

"It's not like you can play the bass." 

"Yes, I can!" She protests and he frowns at her.

"Since when?" 

"My second album? I'm playing the bass in like, half the tracks."

"You are?" His face softens, sounding surprised and a little bit impressed and she huffs.

"Don't sound so surprised, I'm not as good as you are but it's not like I'm playing anything particularly elaborate." 

"When did you even?"

"It was during this wave of stuff I did while trying to distract myself after, the bass was adjacent enough to the guitar that I didn't absolutely suck at the first try so I stuck with it? But I tried a bunch of shit, I tried painting and playing random instruments, I went to a pottery class once, that sucked, calligraphy, crochet, knitting, sewing, it was crazy." 

"When did you even sleep?" 

"I had trouble sleeping while I was working on that album, so I was keeping occupied, it was better than tossing and turning, it made me feel productive," she shrugs, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Love," Calum starts, but he seems unsure of what to say and she shakes her head.

"Hey, you know how bad I am at sleeping, it's fine."

"You know, Andy told me you put yourself in the hospital back then, kinda hard to believe it was fine," he says, raising an eyebrow at her and she groans

"He makes that sound so much worse than it was."

"Did you pass out on campus?"

"Yeah."

"Did you spend the night at the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"Then I think it was bad, love," he chuckles and she rolls her eyes.

"It's not like I dropped in the middle of the street, I was in the health center."

"Not the defense you think it is.”

"Okay, it wasn't fine, but it wasn't as bad as it looked, that was just a bad week, and now I can play more instruments, I know I suck at crafting, and I'm decent at painting, it's fine," she says, motioning vaguely around her and he laughs.

"If you say so."

"I do say so, now let's go face the photographers that are definitely out there and just get out of here already." 

_______

Lena had somehow seen Calum every day for the past two weeks. Mostly not on purpose, the little encounters were never planned. They were also way too short, leaving her feeling the need to see more of him. They text every day too. Nothing like they used to when they were teens, when they would spend most of the day together in school and then text the rest of it because they somehow never ran out of things to say to each other, but still enough to make her wait for the notifications to come. 

If she decides to be completely honest about it, she doesn't like the feeling. And she doesn't like that she doesn't like it. She hates it, actually. She hates that she can't get out of her own head for long enough to just… relax. That her anxious brain keeps telling her overly excited heart to calm down. To back off. To stop doing this hopeful little dance every time her phone rings. But it's not like she can make it stop. Old habits die hard and all that. And apparently in all ways because she can't help her feelings any more than she can't stop fighting against them. Leaving her playing an exhausting game of tug of war with herself. 

She doesn’t even know what she’s overthinking, because she doesn't know what she wants from Calum. For a long time, she didn't really know anything when it came to him. And now she doesn't know what to believe, so she doesn't know how to feel. When he's right there it's easy for her not to think about all the bad things, it’s as easy as it always was. But then she's alone. And then she’s spiraling. 

"L, are you even listening?" Michael's voice came followed by a poke in her ribs, that made her squeak and drop her pen, before looking up from her homework to him, green eyes glowing with a familiar mischief that made her laugh.

"Sorry, what did Cal do? I wasn't paying attention," she asked, closing her notebook and leaning back into the chair, her elbow on Calum's desk, watching as Michael's grin got wilder as he leaned against the desk beside hers and Calum let out an exasperated groan.

"He has a date," he explained and Lena's eyes widened. She couldn't exactly say that was completely unexpected, he had talked about a girl he was interested in. Not to her all that much though, so she didn't know everything about the situation. But the information made her heart clench. 

"What?" She frowned, looking between the boys, Michael's eyes narrowing at her in the few seconds it took for her to realize she didn't sound teasing, she sounded hurt, "someone agreed to go out with you?" She quickly added, teasingly, trying to match the grin on Michael's face as she turned to Calum.

"Not you too," he said, rolling his eyes and she laughed.

"It's just surprising," she said, pressing her lips together while Michael let out a "Right?" that made her laugh.

"I hate you both," he said and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't act like you don't give me hell every time I ask someone out," Michael said, giving him an unimpressed look that made Lena giggle.

"You do fall in love like every other week, dude," she said but Michael shook his head.

"This isn't about me, it's about him," he pointed at Calum who dropped his head to his desk with a groan, but before anyone could say anything else, their teacher walked in, making Michael scramble to go sit. 

"You know we're just teasing, right?" She whispered, leaning her chin on her arm still on Calum's desk and he nodded at her, before leaning down to get his notebook and she turned forward, reopening hers, and staring blankly at the board, twirling a pen between her fingers.

Why did the thought of Calum on a date with someone make her upset? Both of them had spent years going on about how they were just friends. She shouldn't be upset about it. She loved Calum. She wanted him to be happy. 

Wait, she loved him. She loved him? Like loved loved him? She was aware she might have a slight crush on him, how could she not, but was she in love with him? Did the thought of him dating someone else made her feel like that because she wanted him to date her? 

"Oh shit," she mumbled under her breath at the same time the pen slipped from her fingers, startling her as it landed somewhere behind her. Her heart was picking up speed as she leaned to the side, looking around the floor for the lost pen and Calum leaned down too, grabbing it next to his foot, sitting up straight while she turned to him when he reached to hand it back to her.

"Thanks," she breathed, taking the pen back and feeling her heart go crazy in her chest when he grinned and winked at her as she was turning back.

So Lena doesn't know how they ended up here. She was on edge, the song was coming out, so she was stressed and this was the last time she was gonna see Calum for who even knows how long because the band was leaving for promo the next day and she was doing promo for their single alone and she's so unbelievably anxious about it, it's making her more sensitive. She knows that. But now she's moving around the building, with Calum trailing behind her, trying to get her to talk to him. It's not his fault, the comment about them being back together was innocent enough, the issue wasn't the comment, but the way Calum turned to look at her, a flash of guilt on his face, that put her right back in that dressing room.

So she doesn't want to talk to him, because she will say something stupid and she knows it's not his fault so it will just be creating an unnecessary fight. 

But he's not letting her get away from him.

"I don't want to talk about it, Calum," she tells him again, this time stopping to turn to look at him.

"But you need-"

"No, I don't," she interrupts him, and he frowns.

"Lena."

"When you start talking about it I stop seeing my best friend and I start seeing the guy who walked out on me," she says, taking a step back away from him and he gives her a helpless look, "and I don't want to think about that anymore."

"Doesn't seem like you can stop," he all but rolls his eyes and she groans.

"What? You think that knowing how you felt during that is gonna change anything?"

"Come on, that tour was hell."

"I know, I was there," she does roll her eyes and the frown on his face deepens.

"I was doing what I could."

"And I was trailing behind," she motions vaguely around her, "I know what went down, and I know how you felt because I knew you, but it doesn't matter."

"No, you just think you know," he challenges, stepping closer to her and she huffs.

"Yeah, well, I don't need a detailed explanation on exactly how not enough for you I am." 

Lena regrets the words before she finishes saying them. Before Calum steps back away from her like she shoved him. Before the hurt look in his eyes makes her freeze. 

But it really kills her as she stays rooted in place watching him walk away from her.

________________

"Andy?" Lena knocks on the door to his room, even though it's the middle of the night, after hearing the telltale sounds of whatever game he's into now that shows her that he's still up.

"Are you finally ready to tell me why you're spiraling?" Andy calls from inside the room and she frowns as she takes that as an invitation to go in.  

"Come on," she complains, sitting on the edge of his bed as he turns around in his chair and rolls himself closer to the bed.

"What? You've been like this for weeks,” he says, stopping in front of her, “and you haven't talked to me all day, just tell me maybe I can help."

"I don't know how to explain it," she runs a hand through her hair, dropping back.

"Voice your thoughts, I'm really good at translating you."

"It's…" She trails off, fidgeting with the necklace Calum gave her, fighting to get the words out.

"Le, babe, I promise you, anything that leaves you this stressed it's not stupid," he says, a comforting hand on her knee and she pushes herself up leaning on her elbows so she could look at him.

"It's just…" 

"Words, Lena."

"I'm stressed about Calum," she blurts out and he huffs.

"Now tell me the part I don't know."

"I… it's just I can't stop thinking," she says, sitting up and he nods.

"About?"

"He said he's winning me back, and I was enjoying the effort."

"But?"

"When I left,” she pauses when he gives her a pointed look, “when I ran, I said I was done, but I didn't turn it all off, you know? I couldn't. But I also couldn't keep feeling like it was always gonna be like that, all the pining. No, not pining, pining it's too calm, too calm for whatever we had going. I was burning and I was drowning and I was tired, but I still loved him, I still wanted it."

"Okay."

“And I can’t stop thinking about everything that happened between us because I still do, you know? I still love him, and I want it so badly. I want things to work out, I want the stupid story of us finding a way back, I'd be lying if I say I don't, but I’m also scared." 

"Of?" Andy asks after she doesn't continue and she sighs.

"That he doesn't really want me. That he’s just enjoying the chase, and there's too much fucked up shit in the middle for us to ever be okay again and when we agreed on the whole thing, I said he can't kiss me."

"Yeah."

"Because he has this effect that gives me tunnel vision and makes me only see what he wants," she trails off, fidgeting with the edge of her shirt and he chuckles.

"Oh, I know, but you're spiraling, why exactly?" He asks and she looks at him, chewing on her bottom lip while she contemplates how to say it.

"I'm scared I'm the one who's just enjoying the chase," she admits and he frowns, tilting his head to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"All I ever wanted was for him to try, and he's trying, I basically forced the man to take me out so I could see what it would be like." 

"Didn't he say he wanted to fix things?"

"Yeah, but what if we're beyond fixing?"

"L, wait," Michael said, turning the car off when she reached for her shoes, and she sighed, unbuckling the seatbelt. Lena was feeling hazy, definitely still drunk, but the cool night air had cleared her head enough to know what Michael was going to say.

"Mike, please don't," she pleaded, mechanically putting her shoes on as she avoided the way she could feel his eyes on her. 

"What?

"Defend him," she sighed, finally turning to look at him. He had a very familiar look on his face. The ride-or-die type look that let everyone know that he'd take Calum's side no matter what. Michael had perfected it over the years but it always had the I-need-to-stand-by-him glint that she found staring back at her.

"But you gotta know," he started, but she shook her head. 

"I respect that you wanna do something, I do, but don't do it."

"But he's," he tried again but she interrupted him again. 

"Look, I don't wanna know that you think he looks miserable without me, or however the hell you were about to put it. Did he tell you that? Did he even tell you what happened between us? Or did he just say we had a fight and told you to drop it?"

"He didn't, but I know he is, he really fucking misses you, L," he tried to argue and Lena wanted to believe him. Desperately. But she couldn't.

"Look, dude, I gotta work with what I know. The facts here are he walked out on me and that he hasn't tried to talk to me since then, so anything else is not enough," she shrugged and he gave her a disbelief look.

"So you just got in a screaming match at a party over not enough?"

"Yeah, and he still had nothing to say."

"You know how he can get."

"Oh, I do," she said, rolling her eyes but Michael kept talking.

"And you always forgive him."

"It fucking sucks that I have to," she complained, running a hand through her hair.

"You're not exactly perfect either, L," he said, raising an eyebrow at her and she frowned at him.

"Never said I was, but this one is on him, it's only on him, it's why he doesn't have the guts to try to fix it."

"What the fuck did he do?" He asked and she groaned.

"I don't wanna talk to you about it, Michael."

"I'm your friend too, Lena," he matched her tone, rolling his eyes at her and she sighed.

"But you would let him get away with anything."

"So would you."

"I can't do it this time, he really hurt me, okay? It wasn't some stupid argument that we both knew wasn't gonna last, he knew the choice he was making and he did it anyway and I'm allowed to be mad at him," she said, looking down, twisting her hands in her lap.

"I'm not saying you're not allowed to be mad, I'm saying you're both miserable without each other, so why are you dragging this out?" He asked and it made her pout. 

"Who said I'm miserable?" Lena complained, glancing at him and she probably wasn't helping her point if the way Michael raised an eyebrow at her was any indication.

"Your face."

"That's-"

"We both know you're still in love with him," he said and her eyes widened as her head snapped up and she turned to look at him.

"Who said I'm in love with him?" She tried but Michael scoffed.

"Don't act like I don't know you, you've been in love with him since we were in school, it's painfully obvious."

"I… You knew? Since when?" 

"Since he left for that football camp, you were a basketcase while he was gone." 

"It wasn't that bad."

"Oh, it was worse, I thought you would tell him back then."

"I did," she said, holding Michael's gaze as his face turned into shock. She could see it in the way his eyes went from wide to narrowing on her face that he was combing through his memories trying to figure out when it could've happened. And she didn't want him to ask, "well, it doesn't matter anymore."

"Now you're just being stubborn."

"So?"

"Talk to him, do something other than sitting around since you’re both miserable and this can’t keep going-"

"Mike!” she screeched, interrupting him, "He dumped me, he doesn't love me and I can't make him love me so I can't fix it."

"What do you mean he doesn't love you? Of course he loves you," he was looking at her like she was crazy for even suggesting that and it made her want to disappear into the leather seats. 

"His words okay?" Her voice was small and Michael looked so confused by it that she felt on the verge of tears, "so now I'm just the idiot that’s been in love with him since middle school."

"L," Michael's voice was soft now, and he was watching her carefully, eyes scanning her face as she continued to talk.

"Being away from him is killing me, but I can't. I can’t move on from him if he's still around, and I can't fix us so I can't talk to him."

"Why?"

"Because if I'm not mad at him, then I'm breaking and I can't take it anymore." She paused, blinking back tears, "thank you for the ride, Mike, I know I'm not much company right now but I did miss you and I appreciate it."

"Lena."

"I'll see you around," She said, patting his knee before slipping out of the car. She was surprised to hear his door slamming after hers.

"Lena," Michael's voice was insistent and it made her stop on the sidewalk watching as he walked around the car.

"Yeah?" She asked, frowning at him as he scanned her face. 

"Just come here," he said, pulling her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his waist on instinct. She missed Michael, that wasn't a lie, they may not be as close to each other as they were to Calum, but he was a constant enough presence in her life to add to the emptiness Calum had left behind. But the way she just relaxed against him was disarming, "sorry I haven't checked in," he said to her hair and she huffed out a chuckle, stepping back from him.

"It's fine, I knew he would get you in the divorce."

"You don't have to tell me what he did, but how bad was it?" 

"How many times have you seen me trying to get away from him?" She asked because she didn't think she could talk about it without crying. She wasn't sure she wouldn't start crying anyway.

"Point taken." 

"Look, I can't talk about it because I can't think about it because I don't want to believe it happened, I thought we were more than we actually were and that's on me but he was just," she stopped, sniffing through the tears that were falling without her permission, "there were kinder ways to do what he did and I can't move past it."

"Sorry I pushed it." 

"It's fine, you know how stubborn we both can get, you had no way of knowing this wasn't just us being stubborn."

"For whatever is worth, I do think he regrets it."

"Well, he's the one that needs to do something about it,’ she shrugged and Michael gave her a sad smile, "sorry you got caught in the middle." 

"I'm your friend too, you know?"

"Do you feel that way?" 

"I don’t know, I'm not known for making good decisions when he's involved. So I freaked out and I picked a fight with him because he was about to leave. And I know it’s just a few days but at the same time I couldn’t deal with the way I need him around and he’s all the way across the world now and I don’t know what to do, because,” she sniffs, looking up to try and stop the tears she can feel forming in her eyes, “what if this is just going to explode in our faces again and I'm dragging it out because of a memory of a feeling?"

"Is it just a memory?"

"What?"

"When you think about it, are you just trying to find the way he made you feel again, or are you just trying to find a way to feel what you feel for him without letting it destroy you?" Andy asks and she blinks at him, taken aback for a second.

"That was deep, we should write that down," she jokes because she doesn't know how to answer.

"I'm serious, I've picked you up from the floor over him for years now and it's alright if you don't want him anymore, but it's also okay for you to want him but only after you're sure you're not setting yourself up for failure."

"What are you saying?"

"That it's okay if you need safety before giving in and that doesn't mean you're using him, it just means you're hurt and want to know what you're falling into."

“But I feel like-”

"Look, I've watched you try to contain the way you feel about him for as long as I've known you, you keep fighting against it or trying to make it something that won't scare him away, and that never worked," he says, tilting his head, and she sighs.

"It's just that, I don't know how to stop and I keep thinking about-"

“Le, the more you overthink this the more you’ll have to overthink and you’re gonna go nowhere.”

“But-”

“You’re not gonna find the answer trapping yourself in your head, you can’t change what happened and you can’t predict what’s going to, you just need to find out if you’re willing to trust he won't hurt you again,” he says and she drops back, throwing her arms across her face.

“But what if I can’t trust myself? I don’t want to hurt him either and right now I don’t think I can help it and his face when he walked away from me, I-”

“Lena," he says, and she feels the mattress dip when he sits beside her, moving her arms from her face so she would have to look at him, "if whatever you said makes him stop trying then you guys are going nowhere anyway.”

"What do I do then?" She asks, throwing her arms over her head and he huffs, poking her side.

“You stop hiding and you call him."

“Call him? I can’t call him,” she squirms away from his hand, looking at him like he's crazy for suggesting that, and he gives her an unimpressed look.

“Knowing you, you won’t be able to do anything until you find out if you pushed him too far. Did you even sleep last night?"

“But I have to, I can’t need him, And.”

“You also can’t change the fact that you already do. You've been fighting it for years, Le." His voice is sympathetic and she feels herself start to tear up as she meets his eyes. “Just call him."

_________

The periodic buzzing is not what makes Calum raise his head. What makes him raise his head is how he can feel Luke's eyes on him every time the damn phone does buzz. So when it happens again he meets Luke's careful gaze with a questioning look.

"That's Lena." It's not a question. But Luke nods anyway. Lena hadn't talked to him since the fight and he was following her lead with it. If she wants space he'll give it to her. It's actually easier than he expected with half a world between them and unaligned timezones. At least that's what he keeps telling himself.

"She wants me to let her know when we're back at the hotel." They only have another interview in their schedule, the one they are currently waiting for, so it shouldn't be long, but why would Lena ask? And what else did she say that got Luke watching him like that?

"Okay, what does this have to do with me?" He asks, raising an eyebrow and Luke frowns at him.

"Did you get into a fight or something?" 

"Or something."

"Do you want me not to tell her?" Luke puts his phone down, a silent we can talk about it if you want, but he shakes his head.

"No, it's okay." 

"You sure?" He checks, but Calum doesn't get a chance to answer, because they are being called to the studio and he can't keep thinking about it.

Maybe she's ready to try to talk to him. If she's even asking because she wants to know when he can answer. He tries to ignore that line of thought until they’ve been back at the hotel for at least half an hour and there’s no call. 

But then his phone lights up with a very familiar picture of Lena and him.

"Hello?"

"Hi," Lena sounds anxious, he can hear it in her breathing and something about it makes him do the math in his head about what time it's for her.

"Lena, where are you?" He can imagine the way she's frowning just by the confused little gasp she lets out. 

"Home, where else would I be?" 

"Isn't it, like, 3 am for you?" 

"Time is fake," she mumbles, and he hears fabric ruffling in the background, so maybe she is in bed. Not that the thought makes him worry less.

"Sure," he frowns and she sighs.

"I couldn't sleep, I needed to apologize." 

"Okay." 

"Because I am sorry, I… I don't have an excuse, I'm just sorry." 

"Lena," he says, more to buy himself time to think of the right thing to say than anything else but the sharp intake of breath he hears makes him regret it.

"You don't have to say anything, it's fine, I just wanted to say it, we can talk when you get back. Or whenever you want. Shit, you know, I shouldn't have called, I'm sorry." Her voice is wobbly and it sounds like she’s about to hang up.

"Lena, wait."  

"I can't." 

"Why not?"

"Because I'm about to start crying and then you'll feel the need to make me feel better and this becomes about me and that's not why I called." 

"Then why did you call?" He asks, and she sniffs, before taking a deep breath as if she’s trying to calm herself down.

"Can I claim temporary insanity? Sleep deprivation? I don't know, okay? I thought talking to you would make me feel better but that's not on your job so I shouldn't-"

"Lena, can you just listen to me for once in your life?"

"Yeah?" 

"You seriously think I'm about to let you cry yourself to sleep?" 

"I'm not crying," she tells him and he huffs.

"I can hear you crying." 

"I'm just tired and It doesn't-"

"Of course it matters." 

"Why?" 

"Because I fucking care about you. That doesn't stop being true just because we got into a fight." 

"I know that, it's just-"

"Do you? Know it? It doesn't seem like you do," 

"Can I be honest?"

"Please," Calum breathes, waiting for a tense second as she doesn't say anything.

"I talk myself out of it."

"Of trusting me?" He asks, frowning and he can hear the fabric ruffling as she probably shakes her head.

"No, of expecting you to be there." That one stings. He knows he can't blame her for it, it's his own fault, but hearing her saying it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Why?" 

"Because I can't need you to be there! For fucks sake we get into one fight and I'm losing my mind? I've been feeling like I can't breathe and I can't do this again." 

"Do what?" 

"Lose you, Calum, I can't lose you again, but I can't keep feeling this way either I can't focus I can't sleep I feel like a bitch then I just lose my fucking mind and can’t feel this way I can’t need you-" Not for the first time since he last saw her, he catches himself wishing he wasn't halfway across the world, but this time is because the way she's talking, fast and without pauses, makes him think she's about to talk herself into a panic he can't talk her out of over the phone.

"Love, love, breathe," he interrupts, and she takes a few sharp breaths before talking again.

"See, I shouldn't have called, you're allowed to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you."

"Why not? You should." 

"Why?"

"Because I was a bitch to you."

"It was a fight, and it wasn't even that bad."

"You sounded mad at me when you answered the phone."

"You apologized, we can talk about it when I get back, but I'm not mad, so you should go to sleep and I'll see you in a few days." 

"Unfortunately I wasn't exaggerating when I said I can't sleep, I've been tossing and turning for hours."

"You want me to talk to you until you fall asleep?"

The way Lena was slowly blinking and how her reactions were delayed was just as funny as it was adorable even in the dimly lit room. It made the story Calum was telling seem way more entertaining than it actually was, with the way she was trying to keep up while stifling yawns and rubbing her eyes to get him to keep talking. 

"Love?" Calum asked when she dropped her head back against the headboard of his bed and it took a few seconds for her to look at him, "do you want me to drive you back to your dorm?" She should've left already since she had classes the next day, so maybe he should just let her leave this time. She looked like she would fall asleep in the car though. And her car was at his place. The logistics of it all weren't good. 

"Not yet, we're talking," she mumbled, shifting her whole body while sitting up. 

"No, I'm talking, you're legally drunk," he joked, making her pout. 

"'m not," she complained, stretching out like a cat and sighing, "how are you not tired?" 

"Jetlag," he shrugged and she blinked at him before nodding, staring at him with one eye closed. 

"Well, then we keep talking." 

"I keep talking, you keep looking at me like you're seeing a giant pillow.”

"You do make a great pillow," she said, looking at him like she was contemplating the possibility, or maybe just thinking about the times she fell asleep on him, making him laugh. "Have you ever been so tired you just don't know how to sleep?" She asked, running a hand through her hair and dropping her head back.

"No,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “and you're trying to stay awake," he pointed out, bopping her nose and she smiled sheepishly at him.

"Yes, but I don't think I would fall asleep that easily right now." He seriously doubted that. He was actually sure she would be out in seconds if she just stopped moving.

"What time do your classes start tomorrow?" He asked, checking the old alarm clock on the table. Technically he should've said today. It was past 1 am. Maybe he shouldn't keep her awake that long on a weekday.

"Not until the afternoon," she said, sliding down and hugging the pillow under her head.

"You wanna stay over? We can continue this conversation in the morning when I know you'll remember what I'm telling you.”

"Does that mean you won't be mad if I fall asleep?" 

"Do you want to sleep?"

"I just told you don't know how," she laughed, settling more heavily against the pillow and rubbing her eye.

"Alright, come here," he said, scooting down and opening his arms and she shuffled around before settling with her head on his shoulder and an arm across his chest.

"I missed you," she mumbled, closing her eyes and he started to absentmindedly run his fingers through her hair.

"Yeah, me too,” he said, leaning his cheek against her head, “now go to sleep." 

"I can't fall asleep on command like you do, just keep telling me the story, what happened after Mike said that?"

"So you were listening?"

"Always, now talk," she said, shifting around a bit and he continued to tell the story, running his hand through her hair. It only took a few minutes for her to stop reacting to it and for her breathing to even out. That wasn’t the surprising part. The surprising part was how he fell asleep a few minutes later too.

"You don't have to," Lena says, voice small and he chuckles.

"I'm not asking if I have to, I'm asking if you want me to." There's a pause that's long enough for him to question if it was the right thing to say, before she sighs.

"Yeah."

"Are you comfortable?"

"As comfortable as I can get," she says after some shuffling and he settles in bed too.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know, just tell me about the trip." So he does. With as many details as he can. About the place. The people. The joke Luke told in the van that morning. The restaurant they had lunch in. It makes him think about when he first moved and the rare occasions when their schedule managed to align enough for him to call and Lena would make him tell her everything about everywhere he had been. He talks while listening as Lena shifts around in her bed or lets out little reactions to what he's saying like huffed-out laughs or curious mumbling about what happened next until the shuffling stops and her breathing evens out. He stays on the line for a few more minutes, making sure she's really asleep then a few more because now he doesn't want to hang up. He considers how he could say anything to her right now. He could tell her he misses her. Make some promise about not hurting her again that she wouldn't believe in and he's not sure he can keep. Or a promise about always trying anyway that he really hopes he can. He doesn't say anything though. He just listens to her steady breathing until he can't justify staying on the line anymore.

_______

I don’t have a taglist but hit me up if you want to be tagged.

[dorthyanndrarry]

Whatever You Want, Draco Malfoy -41-

Tags: alcohol use, marijuana use, cigarettes, smoking, reckless behaviour, lack of self preservation, anxiety issues, chronic illness, deportation, racism, the fucking Tories, ptsd, super unhealthy coping mechanisms, Down and out Draco who’s friends with muggles, various OC’s, enemies to lovers, angst, mentions of throwing up/vomit, mentions of suicide, mentions of panic attacks, swearing

suggested rating: Mature

Part 1 (contains links to all parts) <- Part 40 || Part 42 -> 

-

Samuel soon exhausted all his social energy and excused himself to walk back to his flat alone. Draco knew better than try to walk back with him. Once Samuel’s social battery was empty, he became a bit of a bitch, which was fair enough. They all had their limits.

Draco stayed in that little nothing park for a while longer until the silence began to make him restless.

He apparated to Hogsmeade to rent an owl; he preferred the small village to Diagon. The streets were wider, and as long as the Hogwart’s students weren’t visiting, it tended to be quieter.

Draco went to the owlery and argued with the clerk about the value of muggle money versus the three knuts it cost to use a mail owl. Draco did not win the argument because the clerk was an idiot. They were quite sure that two pence coins had the same value as a knut because they were both copper coins of about the same size. Draco was fairly certain that two pence was worth fuck-all but gave up trying to convince them. He knew he’d be blamed for ‘fooling’ the clerk when the discrepancy was discovered.

Draco sent a message to Jarold about meeting up later that night to hang out. He decided to wait for Jarold’s response at Potter’s flat, getting Chinese take-out and watching random programs on the tv. It was starting to get dark when an owl finally came to the window and tapped gently on the glass.

It was another hour still until he and Jarold were going to meet up, and Draco stayed in the flat. He thought about going to his old building again, seeing if anyone else was around, but instead, he stayed. It wasn’t until he was leaving that he realised he had been waiting for Potter. A glance at the clock showed how late it was. And Potter had left for work early that morning. Draco took the crumpled note out of his pocket and read it again, just to be sure. Called in early, it said.

He put the note back in his pocket and flipped off the lights. Draco drew his wand out of his back pocket and very firmly ignored the feeling of disappointment in the back of his throat as he apparated away.

-

💜 Next update will be tuesday pst 💜gosh tuesday comes around faster than I remember 😅  Sorry it’s short, but babysteps, I suppose. I gotta start somewhere lol 💜 

Tags below v (I don’t have a permanent tags list. All tags are of the wonderful people who left messages or reblogs on the previous 2 parts.)

💜 @pain-changes-everything I love a good awakward convo😆💕 thank youuuuuuu 💜 💜

💜 @justafangirlslikes thank you!

💜 @shadowybook well, it can’t hurt XD they do show up a lot 💜 its’ so nice to get to show more of my sweet nervous samuel💜 thank youuu! 💜

💜 @idareyoutotakealook hell yeah!😎 thank you so much!!!! 💜

💜 @dewitty1 🥰harry’s a goood boy 💜 💜thank you!!!! 💜 💜

💜 @kaosuiinku yeah! I’m excited to for them to talk! 💜 thank you!

💜 @languedor71 thank you!!! as you can see I am taking it slow lol 💜 💜 💜

💜 @addicted-to-w0rds 🥰he’s made some good freinds 💜 💜thank you!

💜 @iamactuallya-cat   💜 💜thank you!!! 💜 💜

💜 @shirablu i love the park at night so much, it has such a good vibe 💜 💜thank you! 💜

💜 @devilrising 😍thank you so much!!! I’m happy you’re doing alright, I’m so happy to see you again💜 💜 💜 💜

💜 @draco-smokes-cigarettes  💜 @atomicauthorathletevoid  💜 @hmmihaventdecidedyet  💜 @chamomileteafuel  💜 @peaceinambiguity 

💜 @luna13e-blog  💜 @havingaverydrarryday  💜  @beelzebub-banshee  💜 💜 @lilyinthebreeze  💜 @icanlieandsaythatilikeitlikethat  💜

[invisibleraven]

Happy friday!! "How much of that did you hear?" for Sweet Tarts?

Reggie smiles over his coffee cup as Carrie sits across from him, the tip of her pink tongue peeking out as she works on the crossword. Their breakfast is finished, but they have nowhere to be today, no appearances to make, so they're having a leisurely time just relaxing.

This is of course, when the phone rings.

Reggie's senses heighten, his grip on the mug almost punishing as the shrill sound of the ringer shatters their peaceful morning. He gets up to answer the phone, praying it's a telemarketer and not who his gut tells him.

"Peters residence," he says, all business.

"Dusk, report."

Reggie stiffens at the name, and turns to Carrie with an apologetic expression. "It's one of my patients, I have to take this."

"I swear, you have the most needy patients, they never let you have a day off," Carrie says. "I suppose that means the picnic is on hold."

"Probably," Reggie replies, voice full of regret. Definitely he thinks, as this call can mean nothing good. "I'm going to take this in my room. Confidentiality and all."

Carrie nods, knowing to hang up the other end when he calls, and Reggie waits for the click before he finally replies to the other end. "Dusk here. Nothing new to report."

"May I remind you that your mission has the state of the known world hanging on it?" the voice on the other end asks, clearly unimpressed with Reggie's lack of progress.

Reggie scowls at the receiver, but tries to keep his voice professional. "I did as you asked and procured a wife, we've made forays into Covington's social circle, but I've not made contact with the man himself yet. Apparently that's a treat for his inner crew."

"Well you and the missus better try harder-Covington has the ear of every high ranking official in the government. Becoming his confidante gets you that much closer to them. So find out how to become close to him so we can find out which way the wind is blowing-for good or for ill."

"And if I can't?"

"Then God help us all," the voice on the other end says gravely. "You-there will be no helping you if this mission fails Dusk. Nor the woman you conned into marriage to sell the happy couple."

Reggie suppresses an audible gulp at that, eyes glancing to the closed door. Yes, Carrie and him were married in name only-him to accomplish his mission, her to keep her well meaning father off her back regarding her single status-but there was maybe not love, but caring there. He'd hate himself forever if anything happened to her because of his failings. "Understood."

"Glad to hear it. Next check in is in exactly one week. Have an update for me, or be prepared to be replaced. Dismissed."

The dial tone rings in his ear, and Reggie sags as he sets the phone down. What is he gonna do?

Shaking himself, he comes back out to the living room, intending to tell Carrie that maybe they don't have to cancel the picnic after all, but there she is, sitting on the couch, phone receiver clutched in her hands.

"I thought it was on the base, but it wasn't and then I picked it up..."

"How much of that did you hear?" he asks, sitting next to her, easing the phone out of her hand and onto the base.

"All-almost all," she amends. She won't meet his eyes and a thousand worries fly through Reggie's head. She could turn him in for being a spy, she could attempt to get him to reveal any number of secrets for her to sell, she could end everything right here and now...

"Why didn't you tell me you needed to get close to Covington?"

That... is not where Reggie saw this conversation going. "What?"

"You told me you wanted to climb the ladder so that we could have influence in society. Not so you could cozy up to the boyfriend of the Senate," Carrie says, lifting her eyes and there's a twinkling to them. "I can get you to Covington, I have contacts."

"B-but you're a clerk at City Hall!"

"By day," Carrie says with a shrug. "By night... well I have another name. Thorn Princess."

Reggie is sure his jaw is on the ground at that name. The name of the most feared and skillful assassin in the whole of the county. The one his agency had been trying to find-to either recruit or kill, he's never sure-for the past five years.

And he went and married her.

He blows out a breath. "Okay then. Guess we have a lot to talk about princess."

"We certainly do...Dusk."

"You know... I think I'm good with us still being Carrie and Reggie," he remarks.

Carrie hums, and beams at him, sliding a little closer to him on the couch. "I think I'd like that too."

[simsfromupthere]

im sorry i havent been posting like at all lol, on a technical level i FINALLY got my cousin's pc, set it up with my dad in my room already and its absolutely great i cant wait to finally get to hop back on TS4 on it i ran TS4 really quick to update and enable mods/all that stuff but i still need to get an external hard drive/storage to import all general data/files from my old laptop i still want to keep like images,music,vids etc but Especially my TS4 files like my obnoxiously large mods folder like its actually ridiculous how much general cc files, script mod files, replacements def/non-def, lighting mods both for cas/in game n reshade presets i had and still want to keep cause i cba to restart i swear LMAO i still want my old sims ]: in spite of all the headache flashbacks ill get from how bad they would lag, glitch, break and how often my game would crash i still love those saves hhh, also my mods folder is at least over 10k+ files i wont eloaborate why and thats also why i cant be assed to start over LMAO also wont go over too much cause im still knee deep in it but ive been struggling with really and i mean Really bad ADHD induced general burnout WHILST i already was dealing with absolutely awful creative burnout so my brain is scrambled into tiny little shards of charcoal for the past weeks (months even) so i have had little to no motivation to work on things specially my art which has been incredibly painful to the point ill cry sometimes and feel my chest getting tight cause i get frustrated and struggle to produce anything good or that i like, ive been working on it since i started doing research/spoke to my psych and therapist about important exercises to alleviate/bounce back from both burnouts and thankfully (trying to be positve lmfao) both have recommended steps that are either similar/the same or interpolated very well like getting more outside, bettering sleep (which i definitely had been neglecting like a few weeks ago i stayed awake for 3 days straight..😬) ive been trying to branch out on hobbies, trying different art styles for fun and blahblah other things i wont bore anyone with but yerp these past days ive been mainly trying to get my focus on working on those and so far ive improved my sleep quite a lot, i just need to create an actual schedule which is highly important to, atm im working on it but its still a very unorganized schedule but nonethless feeling a lot of painful side effects from shit sleep fading away like really really bad dry eye, pretty boring update i havent been doing much lol but i figured i would post something to clarify i just had been kind of embarrassed to do so, also heres some random drawing ive done for fun in diff styles these past days.

[starsbegantofall]

Some favorite “cleaning but not really” tips for the new year!

It’s a custom somewhere in the world to start the new year off with a fresh clean house and mind. While my actual new year starts later than January 1, I wanted to share my favorite “cleaning” tips with everyone, like I’m an elderly gramma this last day of 2022.

1. “Make” your bed every morning (from unfuckyourhabitat)

2. Clean up as you cook (from cloudyhills and emmymade)

3. Stop your work/hobby 10 minutes before you plan to and clear your workspace (from various crafters and artisans)

4. If you can’t bear to part with something sentimental but it serves no useful purpose, find a way to display it as decor (from Marie Kondo)

5. If you want to have a themed yet functional room, gradually replace old useful items in that room with new useful items (from Rosie O)

Read on for encouragement!

1. “Make” your bed every morning (from unfuckyourhabitat on tumblr)

This is one I do every morning although I do take naps before going to bed lol. Your bed is your sanctuary and takes up the largest portion of your room, therefore if you smooth out the blankets and sheets and straighten the pillows, you just cleaned up 50% of your room and you feel so much better when you go to sleep even if the rest of the room is a mess. Obviously won’t work if your significant other sleeps before you do, but I also recommend it because straightening your bedding keeps dust mites from having little hidey holes to multiply in. So it’s healthy! Anyway, I really like unfuckyourhabitat for understanding people may have mental illnesses or adhd or messy family members or pets that get in the way of cleaning, and so they try to advise the easiest possible small wins that anyone can do. Lots of people swear by the 15/5 or preferred time limit, clean for 15 minutes, break for 5. Personally I clean for 15 minutes and break for 2 hours.

2. Clean up as you cook (from cloudyhills and emmymade on youtube)

I don’t really do this all the time, just sometimes while something is boiling or heating up, but what I try to do is rinse out used prep dishes and cutting boards and put the next ingredients in them to cut down on the total amount of dishes at the end, sorta same concept. The goal is to have as few dishes and spills/crumbs to clean up after you finally get to eat, so it doesn’t add up over the days and breed germs and make you feel lazy and guilty. Even if you can’t get to sink zero and only clean one dish while cooking, that’s a win!

3. Stop your work/hobby 10 minutes before you plan to and clear your workspace (from various crafters and artisans)

This one I am trying to remember to do, but it’s sooo hard lol. I don’t really plan out my crafting time, it just happens whenever I feel like it so the end time is whenever I’m tired or bored or frustrated. Two things I always do are put away my scissors and cover my sewing machine with its little cover. Scissors are  important to my crafts and I never want to lose them or drop or damage them, therefore they always go back up on their hooks or drawers. My house is dusty and I don’t like dust on my sewing machine, especially since dust will eventually mess with the machinery, so covering it is a firm habit. Another thing I try to remember is rinse out my paintbrushes and dump out paint water or whatever I was using as a palette, and sweep up any cloth scraps and thread bits. But the work area is still overall cluttered with current projects... I’ll keep you updated if I ever get this down as a habit.

4. If you can’t bear to part with something sentimental but it serves no useful purpose, find a way to display it as decor (from Marie Kondo)

Obviously I find a lot of worth with Marie Kondo’s books, she just sounds so thoughtful and helpful. This advice I really like because I collect a lot of souvenirs and anime/game merch and trinkets but don’t have the decision making abilities to display them nicely, and I’m not into buying a curio cabinet for my small home. But you can’t really sell trinkets that easily, at least not fanmerch, and donating/throwing them away is just a waste if no one else will appreciate the memories you associate with them. Using my PC as a starting point, I’ve become comfortable with digging out decorative items as the seasons change and rotating pictures in picture frames so every poster or doll or keychain or sticker will eventually get a chance to shine for a few months. That way, the doodads don’t feel like junk taking up room, but a way to make my space look pretty and unique and a part of my personality.  Is what I tell myself.

5. If you want to have a themed yet functional room, gradually replace old useful items in that room with new useful items (from Rosie O on youtube)

Hoarding is a real problem, and Rosie O has several room tour videos and cleaning/decor tips for a kawaii yet functional room, along with many other ytbers. You can have a kawaii (or whatever style) room that can also be clean and functional just by gradually replacing old useful items with new items of your intended theme. For example, replace plain old shelves and bins and cups as they wear out with cute (or whatever style) shelves and bins and cups. Definitely replace bedding and rugs when you can, this helps a bunch. If you can’t match everything to your style, then find a catchall box that does match and tuck mismatched stuff away, or hide stuff behind a matching curtain or find another room to put them in. Paint over plain stuff, use shopping bags or tags or old stationary to decorate a frame or bulletin board, display your favorite piece of clothing on the wall or door or on a mannequin, lots of ways to thriftily keep your room neat yet aesthetic. That way, if you do hoard more useless stuff like I do, at least the base of your room is aesthetic and functional, and thus easy to keep clean (or at least makes you feel less dismayed by the concept of cleaning lol, let’s be real here).

Anyway, hope that helps motivate and inspire you! Let’s get to work!