#i think 6 year old me would be happy to learn that i STILL play the sims

[fingertipsmp3]

Downloading sims custom content is so funny because I'm here like "omg this is so cuuuute I need to have it" and it's literally a shower curtain

[redcherrykook]

── ˙✧°📷 TORN PICTURES AND FROZEN LENSES 5

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College Photography Teacher!Jungkook x Student!Reader

27 year old, stupidly handsome asshole teacher Mr. Jeon has absolutely no human decency, he believes your victim complex is what keeps you from ever achieving anything, letting people use you as a bridge. When something unexpected happens, the ice starts to melt as a foreign word called "empathy" enters his egocentric lense. Maybe he will finally manage to teach you a lesson now, since you keep failing his class.

(Mini series)- Episode five!

Song recommendation: white Mustang- Lana del rey

Content: Cold, mean, distant, unprofessional Jungkook, hurt, stubborn reader, enemies to lovers, lowkey dramatic, accident happens, mutually beneficial relationship (emotionally), Jk learns a lot from her, Jk is mean but has a soft spot for reader (eventually), 6 year age gap, Reader is from a struggling background, Jk kind of rescues her, happy ending, angst at first, fluff, smut, comedy/crack, bickering, college setting, brief hospital setting

Warnings: swearing, name-calling,mentions of an accident involving a biker, mentions of hospital, mentions of injuries, really mean Jungkook, i promise he gets sweet, mentions of trauma and abuse (non detailed), mental health struggles (semi detailed), arguments

Sexual content: (light) praise kink, (light) size kink (lmao next episode bout to go crazy with that one), oral; fem. receiving, chest play, making out

Taglist: @bts-iris @kaeysv @khadeeeeej @rockstryoon

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Another day, another night spent on the couch of Jungkook, watching some sort of show with him, munching on dinner he cooked.

He got used to cooking for two.

Its been a week,

A week that turned into a week and a half.

Still no calls, no places, no friends to crash at.

Not even Taehyung, his fraternity house is much worse than just staying with Jungkook.

Not like it bothered you, Jungkook is comfortable, he has a cozy apartment with enough space for two people.

Growing borderline nice from day to day.

His little gestures like buying two of the icetea he drinks, like changing the sheets if you had class the days he hadn't, cooking jjajangmyeon without onions because you hate them.

It was easy to get used to his routine, to bicker with him daily, to sit next to him when he works on his lesson preperation, while you study for your classes.

Sleeping in his shirt, doing your laundry in his bathroom, and accidentally stumbling across his calvin klein's.

It felt intimate at times, like living together was more than just that.

Tonight is different.

Tonight would be your very first party.

After a whole week of persuasion, Taehyung talking your ear off about how fun it was, how many people you could meet, how you could dance your heart away.

You decided, fuck it. One party.

"To be clear, I'm NOT drinking and i swear if you touch me, Taehyung, I will actually strangle you" loud and clear, your boundaries set while you're on call with him. Taehyung called you at 10pm as you were peacefully watching "Running man" with Jungkook, at first you shut off the call.

Until another followed by another call coming through.

"Just come on! once! One single time" he begged, Jungkook's jaw clenching at the voice from the other end of the phone.

He simply can not stand Taehyung, the way he devours you with his eyes, the way he talked you into doing things you don´t normally want to do,

like parties.

In desperate need of social contacts and having some serious fun, a party doesn't sound too bad anymore, Tae would keep his hands off, now that you told him to.

"You're seriously going?" Jungkook asks once you end the call, his eyes stern and burning through you, judging you almost.

"Yeah. You can enjoy a night to yourself again, I won't get back late, I promise" you smile at him, already thinking of what to wear from your very limited selection of clothes.

He scoffs, pressing his lips together.

"What? Got something against it?" your head tilts, a playful smirk on your lips.

His eyes move away from yours and back to the flashy TV screen.

"Just not looking forward to having to pick you up wasted, possibly having to push off some jerk to even get to you" his tongue presses the inside of his cheek, not making eye contact with you. A strong hand is rubbing his thighs that are spread on his couch, while the other one moves through his hair, lifting his arm enough to see his well defined triceps.

A part of you hopes that he was jealous, that he hated the thought of you making out with some college jerk, just like you hated the thought of making out with anyone that wasn't him.

There was nothing left to confront, nothing to deny.

You have a crush on Jungkook, on your photography teacher that you live with.

Maybe it was the intimacy of living with him, but the racing heartbeat in your chest, the pertruding smile on your face whenever he smiled too, even if slight, even if to make fun of you,

The throbbing between your thighs when he speaks in his sultry, low voice. The way his hair is messy most of the time, how his muscles flex when he's working, his groans of frustration, making you wonder just how he could sound if he groaned more. Your thoughts when he drives with his skillful fingers, the way he licks his lip piercing when he's focused. Having to surpress the thoughts of what happened, almost happened, when you were both drunken by the burning alcohol.

All of it is impossible to ignore, to talk yourself into believing it´s nothing.

Every inch of him, of his habits, it made you flaunt for him. Wishing that instead of his shirt, it was him, sleeping next to you peacefully.

Looking at him ever so often, hoping to catch him looking back.

Even taking longer in the shower when your wandering thoughts get accompanied by your wandering hands.

It is wrong, it is so wrong because he's your teacher, because the goodness behind his hard exterior helped you through your own mess in life.

And yet, you find yourself going out to party away the thought of him, only to return back to him the same night.

"Don't worry kook, I'm not drinking. You won't have to pick me up, just enjoy your night alone" you make your way into the guest bedroom to change.

"Am not worried, you're old enough" he grumbles as you walk away.

Of course, he wasn't worried.

Until he's stuck in his living room, pacing around.

He glances at the clock, 2:15 am, still no text, still no doorbell.

Originally, Jungkook wasn't going to do anything special, just watch Tv and cook something nice for a midnight snack.

You had left the house at half past ten, in a pair of black low waisted cargos and a tight fitting crop tee. Black as well, matching your shoes too.

Simple, comfortable, not too revealing.

Not that he would have cared if someone saw you in a revealing outfit,

That's what he likes to believe. In reality, he would have probably come with you if you did, glaring at every guy who dared to look.

The thought of you not answering his text because of being drunk somewhere or being in bed with a guy you had just met made him sick.

"I'm not letting you walk back at this hour. Call me when you need me to pick you up. And don't start arguing over this"

Sent at 11:39, over two hours ago.

Left on delivered.

He sits back down, sighing and deciding to call over his best friend, turn this into a boys night.

You are out partying, probably having fun with other people, why shouldn´t he?

Dialing the familiar number, it rings briefly before a voice deep answers the phone.

"JK! what's up bro?" Mingyu greets

"I'm good. My student left so i thought i'd ask you to come over? Haven't hung out in a while" Jungkook humms while checking the pantry for any snacks.

"Your little girlfriend left? Miss her so much you gotta make your best friend keep you company?" Mingyu laughs loudly from the other side of the phone.

Naturally, being Jungkook's best friend, he knew about the night that you almost kissed. Ever since then, he's been teasing him about it. Pissing him off by insisting on calling you his "little girlfriend".

"Fuck off gyu, could´ve just said no asshole" he scoffs, ready to hang up the phone.

"Don't get so butthurt Jk, she's getting you soft already. I'll be there in 20. Wanna go to a bar?"

He ignores the other comment,

"Nah, I'll go pick her up later. Stop by to get some snacks" he replies casually.

"Alright. Where did she go by the way?" Mingyu just noticed that Jungkook hasn't mentioned why you weren't at his apartment tonight.

His scoff was enough response that could be heard on the other end of the call,

"A fucking frat party"

Mingyu chuckles, thinking up a cheeky reply, but he was too slow.

Jungkook hangs up the phone, waiting patiently for a ring on his doorbell, not sure if he was still waiting for you or Mingyu.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"You'e insane Tae" you shout through the blaring music, barely able to hear the sound of your own words against people screaming and a bass stronger than any drug that was being done around you.

There were many of those, openly at that.

"Is that good?" He shouts back, grinning.

The party is as expected of a frat house party, about sixty college students running around the large apartment, a pool, many couches filled with girls and all of that jock stuff.

Bottles flying around in the kitchen which you found yourself standing in right now, all types of alcohol and cocktail mixes in bowls, what ever is them no one really knows.

Clothes seem basically optional here, most guys are running around shirtless, most girls running to the pool that´s a few feet from the huge glass sliding door around the corner, wearing either underwear or nothing at all.

Taehyung thankfully being clothed.

He did, as usual, have a stupid thought. Thinking it was a great idea trying to outdrink his friend that you had just met,

And already hate.

Jackson, a tall football player who's shoulders are as huge as his ego. He, like the rest of the guys, is shirtless, covered in hickies that wrap all the way around his neck.

Apart from the fact that he's made out with four different girls that all called him some variation of the word 'baby',

he has also been eye fucking you since you first saw him

To which Taehyung is oblivious to, or has been ignoring.

Still, he promised you not to leave your side throughout the entire night, as well as making sure you don't drink, like you had said you wouldn't.

"What? Think I can't win?" He says again when noticing you silently judging him.

You roll your eyes, hands throwing upward to express just how ridiculous he's being "Not about winning, it's a stupid idea. I'm not gonna pick your ass up the floor"

Taehyung laughs in return, throwing back his first shot, to which Jackson follows

"You won't have to"

Jackson smirks, "nine more to go Tae"

"Easy buddy, gonna kick your ass" his voice sounding cocky, already on his way to pour the next shot of vodka.

"Sure you don't want a shot miss goody two shoes?" Jacksons eyes wander to your cleavage,

Eyes are up here, you think.

"Sounding like a broken record at this point. No drinks" you scoff at him, grossed out by his shameless behavior.

In order to distract yourself from the situation, your eyes wander around the apartment, looking for anything interesting.

People making out left and right, no matter if "Va Va Voom" or "Fe!n" played, no one cared who was looking, what lyric was blaring.

It made you cringe inside when you spotted a guy grinding against a girl you knew from Piano lessons, right next to two guys taking molly.

Never going to a frat party again, you think.

Upon first arrival, it was really fun. Tae was dancing his heart out with you, making small talk with some people here and there. You could engage with them as well. Soon enough, he started drinking, making himself tipsy within a couple shots and a beer.

By then you realized you would end up having to look after him at the end of the night, not the other way around.

While you came to make friends, it was practically impossible. Sure, amaybe small talk. Sadly, it always led to the same outcome:

Every girl coming up tried to get it in with Tae and glared at you for being with him or was too drunk.

Meanwhile every guy either tried to get you to drink, tried to touch you, to which Taehyung did push them off immediately, or was also well, way too drunk.

So much for making friends, i guess.

Noticing you have been zoning out for a while, your eyes glance back to the guys in front of you, leaning against the counter.

Wondering how many shots it has been since you last looked.

Both set the small, empty shot glasses on top of the surface.

"Six. Four left to go Tae" Jackson looks relaxed, flushed out a bit but definitely stable, definitely not tipsy yet.

Taehyung on the other hand was slurring his words, a drunkenly hazed smile spread flat across his flushed pink face.

" 'course man. Bring it on"

Shaking your head, you ponder if it was even worth staying still.

Time is truly a weird thing because just when the thought was finished, the words "I´m leaving" at the tip of your tongue,

The guys have already taken another shot, the 7th one back to back.

Tae opens his mouth to speak, presumably about to brag,

" s'easy Jacks-"

but, he can't finish his sentence due to gagging and quickly covering his mouth with his hand.

Of course.

You wince at the sight, Tae stumbles back fast, running and making his way to the bathroom on unstable footing.

That's to not leaving my side tonight, i guess.

A few minutes with Jackson would be fine, you suppose. Tae would be back soon enough.

"Come on princess, take a shot too. Loosen up a bit"

His steps approach you as he talks, his voice sounding like a little devil, waiting to convince you of his foolish plans.

You laugh a small, annoyed laugh,

One hand running through your hair as you talk,

"How many times have i told you I'm not drinking?" unamused, as you look him up and down

But he steps one foot closer, finger grazing your arm maliciously, bringing shivers to your skin at an instant.

"Come on, you need it. Let me give it to you princess, now that Taehyung is gone"

Instinctively tug your arm back, ready to scream in disgust.

But his grip only tightens, a whole palm wrapped around your wirst now, trapping you in his hold as he squeezes.

Angry and scared all at once, you shout at him, the sound coming from the bottom of your throat.

"Fuck off, i told you im not interested"

The pop music playing betrays you, drowning out your screams, reducing it to a hopless yelp.

Filled with rage and mentally cursing at Taehyung for being careless, your eyes flicker to the way which he had left, only to find it filled with everyone but him.

Jacksons arm swiftly moves to grab your hip as he steps closer, his other hand making its way to your waist. He leans down, breath close enough to make every single hair stand up on your neck.

"Fine, if you wanna act so stuck up, hope you know how to swim bitch. Might pull out the stck from your ass"

Before you could process what words had left his mouth, you were lifted up over his shoulders as he ran out the glass door.

no no no no no

A second later you are submerged in the cold water of the pool, splashing loudly,

Not failing to catch everyone´s attention.

The reality of what you had dreaded surrounding you as your mind runs miles.

Muffled you can make out people shouting, the water drowning out the sounds ever so slightly, dimming your lights.

Shutting out any other thoughts.

Fuck.

Helplessly, your arms move, trying to fight your way back up.

Gasping for a breath of air once your face had finally poked out from the greedy water below you,

A laughter breaks,

And another one,

Soon enough it felt like the whole campus was laughing at you, calling you pathetic.

When you manage to climb your way up to the surface completely, holding on to the rim for dear life, you hadn´t yet fully grasped what was going on,.

Everyone else on the other hand had, phones recording your smudged, drenched face and hair, clothes clinging to every nook of your figure, working hard to drag you back down by the heavy weight.

Weakly you pull yourself out of the pool, the sound of laughter still humiliating you, along with Jackson proudly walking off inside the party again.

Probably searching for his next victim.

Absolutely petrified and fucking freezing, you run back to the kitchen were you had left your bag minutes ago. Ready to find Taehyung and get the hell out of this mess.

Minutes before you were thrown in a pool on your first and certainly last frat party, being caught on camera on top of everything.

While pushing through people, you do happen to spot Taehyung,

on the couch,

making out shirtless with a girl that, not surprisingly, Jackson had made out with tonight as well.

That must have been your very last straw, he had not even gone looking for you, not even thinking of why you might be gone.

The dam holding back tears of embarrassment and frustration breaking, evrey single tear you had in you beginning to flow down your face, merging with the chlorinated water that´s already coated along your entirety.

Grabbing your purse and running out, you call the only person you knew to call.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"FUCK YOU GYUUUU IM WINNING" the XBox Controller tightly clutched in his hand, hunched forward to stare at the screen that lights up his dark bedroom, Jungkook's voice rings through his apartment.

Fifa is not for the weak if you play with Jungkook.

"JEON JUNGKOOK YOU FUCKER" Mingyu screams back, slamming the controller down on the teachers bed.

He lost again, 5th time in a row. There is truly nothing that Jungkook can´t do, it seems.

"Mad huh? Mad?" he laughs, punching into his best friends arm jokingly, a wide and proud smile provoking every one of Mingyu´s nerves at once.

The moment is caught off by his phone ringing, interrupting Mingyu in the middle of trying to deck Jungkook straight in the stomach.

He picks it up, reading your name on his bright screen.

Mingyu, as curious as he is, listens for any words he could make out, planing to use it for teasing Jungkook later on.

Only to be met with loud cries and hics,

"Jungkook please come get me, something horrible happend i wanna go home please pick me up, please come get me, ah fuck" you ramble through sobs, not being able to think straight.

Jungkook's eyes soften at the noise, his eyebrows meeting together as worry washes through his body.

He looks at mingyu who seems equally as worried.

"Hey hey hey, it's okay. Just send me your location, it's okay, i'll drive fast" while he says this, his body shoots up, tucking his phone between his shoulder and face to put on a jacket and gather his keys in the meantime.

Mingyu stands up with him, rushing to put on his own shoes and jacket.

"Thank you, thank you" you mumble again, trying to tap your phone through blurry vision, barely managing to hold it together any second more.

The sounds from the other end stop, his phone slipping back in his pocket.

"Fuck gyu i might end up in jail today if someone fucking touched her" he groans, jutting down the stairs with his best friend following.

"I'll bail you out. Want me to tag along? Might need some help" he asks, wondering what could have possibly made you this upset.

So does Jungkook, thinking of the worst possible situations, a pang of guilt running through him.

Should have come with her, he thinks.

Jungkook shakes his head, "No no, thank you tough. I don't want her to feel unsafe, she might not wanna see anyone right now" his thoughts continue running ballistic, from going to hold you and reassure you that it is okay, to strangling who ever made you sob, made you sound so scared.

Mingyu smiles, "Take good care of her. You care about her a lot, that's good" he pats his back, before making his way down to his own car while Jungkook unlocks his.

Sitting down and scrambling to turn the engine on, he drives as fast as he can through the thankfully empty streets, keeping an eye on your live location in anxiety that it would move.

When he finally spots you, crying messily, squatted down next to a random building, his car pulls over.

Having to fight back the urge to cradle you, wipe all your tears.

Sure, he had seen you upset before, seen you hurt after something and usually, he'd be annoyed,

Having to muster up some empathy.

Not this time, not when you were falling apart in the cold, in the middle of the road.

There was nothing put empathy in his system.

Jungkook runs out of the car, crouching down in front of you, his eyes scanning your figure.

He notices your entire body shaking, clothes clinging to you, soaking wet. Once his eyes move up your face, he sees your wet hair sticking to your face with eyeliner running down to your jaw.

Eyes red and lips trembling.

"Y/n what.. what happened" he reaches forward to set a hand on your arm, his thumb stroking your cold skin, hoping to provide any warmth.

Every thought of beating up the person who had brought you to this state leaving him,

All he cares about when seeing you so fragile is wanting to make you feel okay.

Your voice comes out broken, wiping your tears with unstable hands. Even in the dark of the night, you could make up the worried expression on his face.

You felt ashamed, embarrassed to have to call him, to make him see you like this.

The look on his face earsed every trace of feeling pathetic before his eyes,

Knowing you were safe now.

He had never felt so angry and devastated combined, desperately he wants to stop your tears. Longing for anything that would return you to your usual self.

"home please i, i will tell y-you later"

Jungkook nods, standing up as he signals you to stand up as well.

Holding on to the wall behind you, you get up, only to stumble forward. The cold on your wet skin is too much, the wind pushing you back to the ground,

contributing to your already triggered state of mind.

It is all too much.

His strong arms catch you from falling to the floor, wrapping around your own shivering ones.

"It's okay. Can i carry you inside? Don't want you to fall" his eyes scan for any reaction, any indication of you being even slightly uncomfortable.

But you trust Jungkook, you needed him right now.

So you nod, looking back at him with a noticeable look of appreciation.

Gently, one of his hands move to wrap around your shoulders as he crouches down slightly. His other arm wraps around your thighs, delicately swinging you in his arms bridal style.

The water is dripping on to his own clothes, but he doesn´t even feel it at all, he doesn´t notice how your tears trickle down to his shirt when you try to hold up your head.

How your hair was whipping against his chest with every step.

The way he touches you is sweet enough to erase the marks of disgust left on your skin by Jackson's filthy hands.

Slowly he walks to the car, ducking his head and back to open the back door without having to set you down.

The crying has stopped out of pure exhaustion, although the comforting smell of Jungkook's clothes did contribute a fair amount.

He has begun to feel like home.

His arms reach forward to lay you down in the backseats.

"Try to relax okay? Im gonna get us home fast, it's gonna be okay" he mumbles, stroking your arm reassuringly as he let's go of you.

You don't manage to react in any way, even if your heart had swelled up in your chest.

Jungkook jogs to the drivers seat, making his way inside the car again.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The whole ride was completely silent. Not even the usual humming habit of Jungkook sounding in the car.

With your back pressed on the seats in the back your eyes are pried open, red and burning from the make up and salt on your face. You´re thinking of blocking Taehyung and never wasting a word on him ever again.

Almost blaming yourself for giving in and coming to the party in the first place.

The car comes to a hold, the familiar street greeting you when you sit back up to look around.

Jungkooks eyes looking at you from the mirror, releasing a breath he had held for way too long.

Thanking himself internally for keeping your vow of not drinking.

He gets out, walking over to open your door and sticking a hand out to you.

You look up at him with the weakest smile he had ever seen, admiring you for even being able to muster up any smile at all.

grit your teeth sometimes and keep going, he had told you back in the hospital.

Your own hand clasping into his, heart skipping a beat as he pulls you up.

His hand never left your own until he had opened the door to his apartment.

He didn't need to ask this time, knowing you would take his hand.

It made him melt when you did.

"I'm gonna get you clothes okay? Sit down on the couch" the words ring in your ears wonderfully, feeling thankful for his help once again.

As he disappears into the guest bedroom, you run your hands down your face in disbelief.

Being thrown in a pool and called a bitch for rejecting guy was not your bucket list, ever.

Coming back with a hoodie and one of your sweatpants as well as socks, he sets them down next to you.

"Thank you kook" you mumble, looking to the floor in sheer embarrassment.

Jungkook had seen you in situations you didn't even know where possible.

"Don't worry. Im gonna get the hair dryer and make up wipes, just say something when you're done changing" his hands reach down to stroke your shoulders.

At this point you knew,

you knew that Jungkook had fully embraces you into his life.

The way his eyes look at you with no sign of the stern glare he still mingled with until now. The way his voice is rough but reassuring, the way his hands keep touching you in an effort to make up for the hurt on your face.

He locks himself in the bathroom, pulling out make up wipes from your cosmetic bag and gathering up the caple of the dryer while you sit on the couch, slowly changing your clothes into warm and dry ones.

Looking at himself in the mirror startled him.

Not even Jungkook could really recognize himself,

Sharp features of his reflection staring back at him with worry, asking himself if you felt okay on his couch right now.

"Done" you shout out, still choked up from the loud sobbing previously, throat itching slightly from the cold.

The door opens once again, walking to you before plugging in the dryer. He sits down, immediately looking at you.

"Here. Take your time okay?"

"Okay" your fingers reach to the wipes, erasing the traces of the ruined make up that you had put on beautifully hours prior.

A pathetic attempt to trust in people that had let you back down again,

Cruel world.

Turning own the dryer, you start combing through your hair softly, finally filling your freezing head with warmth.

Finally making your entire body as warm as the presence of Jungkook.

Silence returns to the room as the device turns off.

"Can i.. tell you about what happend?" wandering to gaze to his soften features, he nods, smiling briefly.

You take a deep breath before mustering up the courage to tell him about the party.

"Taehyung introduced me to this football player who tried to get me into drinking multiple times. He was shirtless and he was super provocative"

He continues listening as your voice becomes weaker.

"They decided to compete in drinking ten shots but Taehyung was already tipsy. And i- Fuck i told him not to. He didn't listen and at the like, 7th shot? He was gagging, stumbling to the bathroom"

You sigh, nervously recalling the events that felt so surreal now, your eyes finally moving to his. Catching him glint at you with nervousness himself.

"He fucking promised me not to leave me alone and- and and then he did and that asshole he-" by now tears are brimming back at your eyes, unable to let out the words in a straight line.

"He fucking touched me and when i told him to back off he called me a bitch and threw me into the pool. Everybody was laughing fuck, Jungkook people were recording it. It was so fucking- it was so"

You stop, aggressively wiping tears from your face, a scoff pained it's way to the surface,

"So humiliating. Even worse, Taehyung was making out with some chick when i managed to get out the pool" your voice is a bit more stable again, angry at the memory.

Resenment is a stronger emotion than sadness in this moment.

"Motherfucker. Both of them. Motherfuckers" Jungkooks eyes turned dark, glaring at the sound of what you went through.

You laugh a small laugh, "I know"

He inches closer to you,

"I'm gonna get them suspended. What was the friends name?" His expression is serious, determined of making them feel it.

You shake your head slowly,

"No don't- please don't go through all that effort okay? They won't make it long anyways"

He glares at you too now, before catching himself doing so, revoking it and replacing it with a neutral expression.

"Don't let them walk all over you. At least that football guy, im getting his scholarship revoked, what he did was assault. Please let me do this for you"

His voice is stern, he isn't asking.

And you knew he was right.

".. Jackson. Wang, i think"

He huffs, "He can kiss his degree goodbye. I'll find something to make em. Promise you. I might just strangle him myself if I'm being honest" he sighs, his hand rubbing his forehead in an effort to not snap and drive back to party.

A soft giggle can be heard inside the suffocating sphere of the living room.

He looks back up at you,

"What's so funny?" a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips,

You giggle again, focused on the way his lips look when trying to hold back a smile.

"You. Seeing you so worked up. I like it, makes me realize this friendship may not be that one sided after all"

He groans in response, leaning back against the couch and tilting his head to look back into your eyes,

"It took me carrying you to my car to make you understand that i care about you?"

Your heart jumping at the admission,

His eyes widen slightly as he hears himself admit to it, but he tries to conceal it.

Play it off like he isn´t surprised himself.

"Letting you live with me for damn near two weeks wasn't enough, huh?" His elbow digs into your side,

But you can't react, stuck on the fact that his teeth are lightly digging into the side of his lip, biting it softly.

Eyes wandering to his torso that is leaning back on his couch, his lap looking so inviting.

Only now noticing how close he is next to you.

It's his turn to chuckle now,

"Would pay to know what's in that pretty head of yours right now"

Another breath caught in your throat, eyes shooting back up to meet his,

They are ranking over you entirely,

Watching your every feature, studying you as if you were a piece of art in a gallery.

His flirty tone making it hard not to just risk it, crawl into his lap and tell him how you feel about his stupidly handsome face and his annoying way to care for you.

"Shut up, you're saying nonsense" your eyes roll to distract from the fact that you were caught red handed, shyly turning your face away from his form on the couch.

"Answer the question idiot. Did it seriously take this long for you to get it?" his voice is soft, sincerity laced beneath his words.

A long sigh makes it's way out of your mouth as you turn to take the same position that he's in, tilting your head to meet his eyes once more.

The moment is precious in a way, his face is so close you could count the moles on it, but just enough space not to loose any and all control.

"I'm not sure. I mean, i guess i knew you kinda cared, but, i think i mostly tried to gaslight myself into thinking you like me as a person and don't just see me as some sort of charity case" you laugh gently, keeping eye contact with him as you talk.

Although the words you're speaking are truthful, they aren't the full extent.

His heart clenches a bit when he thinks about it,

"Charity case? Fuck no, i mean" he pause, playing with his lip piercing,

"I guess it took me some time to get used to caring about someone else like this, living together and shit but i do like you. I find you annoying and obnoxious at times, and you still suck at photography, but i do like you, you're a good friend" his hand moves through his pretty, dark hair, trying his very best not to look down at your lips.

Knowing he wouldn't be able to hold back.

It was now, just now that he became aware too,

Aware that you weren't just a friend, roomate or a student to him,

That his feelings, his thoughts and urges weren't some sort of strange hormonal reaction.

Still, he hoped that saying it out loud would convince him that you are, indeed just a good friend.

He can´t help but notice how bothered he is by it.

You nod, almost disappointed at the way he ruined his lovely speech with three simple words.

a good friend.

"How nice of you.. thank you tho. No really, i, i appreciate you. You're.. a good friend too, Jungkook" you bite your lip softly, wishing for him to just move away or say something mean to lessen the tension.

He allows himself to look once,

Locking his eyes with your lips, noticing the small blush forming around your face.

It makes you look irresistible, naturally beautiful.

"You know I'm a liar, right? That i say a ton of things I don't actuallly mean?" his eyes are focused on your lips now, his voice almost breathless as he feels himself getting lost at the thought of you.

You scoff, chuckling softly right after,

"Absolutely, it's ridiculous, actually. But you know, i learned not to take every you say too seriously" your arm makes it's way to hit his chest playfully.

He laughs briefly, holding your wrist against his chest.

Eyes locked on your lips, just as he had feared they would.

You could practically feel your heart breaking out of your body,

Moving your palm to lay flat against his chest, you allow yourself to touch an inch of what you've been wanting to feel for so long.

"Well i just lied to you again. You're.. fuck. You're not just a friend"

The air in your lungs leaves you hanging completely, a breathless, thoughtless and emotion driven voice answering him

"I swear if you're playing with me right now I'm gonna-"

There was no time to finish your sentence,

In the blink of an eye, his hands are on your face, cupping it,

His soft, dreamy lips on your own.

There wasn't any time to process either as he pulls back briefly, just enough to whisper against your lips,

"You talk too much, and I'm not good with words"

As soon as the last letter leaves his lips, they are back on yours.

The way Jungkook kisses is as you had imagined, possessive and dominant, he needed to guide you.

Needed you to understand that he likes you,

Way more than just a friend.

Finally registering that he's actually kissing you, that this isn't one of your fanatsies, you kiss him back.

Your own lips moving softly against his, earning a small groan from him.

Melting into his kiss even further, the urge to hear his pretty sounds again overtaking you completely.

The strong hands that held your face in place move now, pulling you closer by your hips.

It makes you hum into the kiss,

Allowing him just enough space to lace his tongue in with yours,

Gently but firmly he keeps kissing you.

As infatuated with him as you are, you follow his every lead, moving in sync and savoring every single second.

Lips developing a mind of their own, Jungkook being the only thought.

By now, he is resting his large hands on your hips, shifting to pull you closer once again, sitting you on his lap,

One knee on either side of his hips, both your hands pressed firmly against his chest.

The way he pulled you to straddle him made you gasp lowly.

He smiles into the kiss, clearly affected by the way this conversation had gone,

By the way you react to his touches.

Naturally, your arms wrap around his neck, allowing your hips to rest on his, he hums in approval, gripping your hips and tightly and securing them in place for him.

Before you can wonder what all of this meant or where it was leading, he pulled back again, this time enough to get a full view of your flustered face.

At first, he doesn't say anything, making space for insecurity to creep up into your brain,

Apparently he can look into those too.

"To be clear. This means something to me. I'm not kissing you just because you looked fucking irresistible, but because i like you, i like you way more than I should. And if you don't, then you better tell me now"

Once again, his pretty face doesn't match his stern words, he's nervous.

You could tell by the way he licks his piercing, nibbling on the small metal ring.

If it was even more possible, your heart swelled with affection for him, desperate to tell him what you had felt for so long.

"I like you too. I like you way too much. Wasn't it obvious? I wanted this for so long"

Without wanting to waste any more time on things you could discuss later on, your head leans back down to kiss him.

He groans much softer this time, his hands ranking up to your sides, feeling them up slowly.

He needs to touch you, feel you, kiss you everywhere.

Just like he had imagined for long now, chopping it up to feeling touch starved.

But the words urge out of his mouth,

"I guess that means you're mine now" he mumbles against your lips in a sultry voice, the heat of the moment becoming far too much.

This wasn't just out of hormonal instincts, both of you could feel it.

A smile latches on to your lips, forcing you to stop kissing him for just a second

"Possessive, i see.. but i want to know much more about you first kook" your reply is sheepish, well aware that him calling you his was enough to turn your underwear see through.

He hums again, placing a hand on your cheek, stroking his thumb against it as his eyes move to your lips.

"I'll tell you everything you want later, let me keep kissing you first" his thumb drags down to your bottom lip, stroking it gently as his pretty brown eyes fixate back on your own ones, looking for resistance.

"Kiss me then" was all it took for him to close the gap once again.

Your arms unwrap around him, moving in anticipation when they reach the hem of his shirt.

You tug on it gently, asking for him to remove it.

He groans once more, "so eager" slips past his lips when he makes enough room to take the shirt off,

Revealing what must be the most beautifully, carefully carved person you have ever laid your eyes on.

His tattoos reach up to his shoulder, you've seen it before but it's even better when you get to touch them, carefully trace the lines with your finger tip.

His chest is firm, a broad set of shoulders that make his small and very well-defined abdomen look even more sinched.

The sight is truly breath taking, your hands caressing, touching everywhere they can.

He likes to think that it doesn't phase him, but the way his body shivers makes it undeniable.

"Done staring, doll?" he asks, the nickname sending a wave of pleasure straight through you as he tilts your face back up to look at his.

"Mhm.. you're just really hot" you can't help but giggle, finally being able to touch and kiss him, it makes you giddy.

Finally being able to utter out all your dirty thoughts, even if it embarrasses you.

He rolls his eyes, sneaking his hands teasingly under your hoodie, caressing the soft and bare skin of your stomach.

A low moan follows his movement, you attempt to kiss him but he smirkes, leaning his head back softly.

This time you whine, having already guessed that he's as much of a tease as he normally is too.

"You sound so desperate. Want me too take this off hm?"

You only muster up a small nod, in no time the hoodie is thrown somewhere, forgotten easily by the way his eyes sparkle when landing on your chest.

Roaming over your chest down to your hips, taking in every inch as his hands reach to grab them.

In one swift motion, you're tucked beneath him on the couch, his shirtless figure hovering over yours, veiny hands resting on your stomach, softly touching his way upwards.

"Just tell me to stop if you don't want anything" he's considered, gentle in the same way that he's demanding.

"Will do, but right now i really need you to continue"

He smiles, leaning down to kiss you again before moving to kiss down to your neck, softly burrying himself in it.

Hearing you moan and gasp was enough to make him lose his mind, make him want to give you absolutely everything you could ever ask for.

"Feels.. nice.." your hands play with his hair, holding the back of his head firmly against your neck.

He bites your neck in response, one of his hands moving to cup your chest in it, squeezing and groping firmly.

He keeps kissing, licking and gently sucking at your skin, trying to learn about every spot that made you moan a little louder.

Once he's satisfied with your neck, a short kiss is placed on your lips.

His head trails down to your chest, kissing from collarbone further south.

"You look even prettier than i imagined" he mutters against your skin, lips in the space between your breasts, kissing and sucking carefully.

"I-Imagined?" you manage to say between soft moans, to shy to let out what you really felt.

Your teeth biting down on your lip so hard it could have made an imprint.

He chuckles against your skin,

"Mhm.. many times doll, driving me insane with these pretty sounds, keep making noises" his voice is deep, underlined with desire.

"f-feels so good.." your whines filling is request instantly, feeling his lips wrapped around your breast as the other one is being gently cupped and squeezed, making you feel blissfully satisfied.

He switches sides after a couple more seconds, your eyes focused on his hand that looks so large compared to you.

However the sight of his bare and definitely well toned, broad back peeking out made you feral, needing to touch him too.

So you do, moving to wrap your arms under his, touching his back carefully as sinfully sweet noises come out of both your lips.

His lips move from your chest to your own, both of his hands groping your chest, moving and brushing over your spots carefully, hitting ever sensitivity.

He lets go of your chest just as he lets go of your lips, his hands making their way down to your waist, wrapping around and securing you in place.

Jungkook´s beautiful dark eyes can't seem to leave your body, licking his lips before planting gentle open mouth kisses down your stomach, nibbling at the skin every so slightly.

"Can i take this off?" his tattooed fingers playing with the hem of your pants, teasing and tugging beneath it with a sly smile on his face.

"Yes please" almost pathetically quiet you answer him, desperate for him to touch you, to make you see stars.

He nods, pulling down your pants to reveal white lacy panties beautifully placed over your core.

Jungkook doesn't like to waste time, so he moves his hands up and down your thighs while kissing your hip,

"So soft" purring against your skin, his lips move to kiss your thighs, hooking one arm gently under one leg, spreading them open. His kisses become more passionate which each one, kissing and nibbling the inside of your thighs,

Dangerously close to where you wanted him to be right now.

Your hand wraps around his soft curls once more, gently tugging, making him groan.

"Doing so well doll, i know you're desperate, so needy. Gonna give it to you yeah? Ask nicely" the way he sounds right now, raspy and gentle, the way he uses the nickname that rolls beautifully off of his tongue, it is enough to make you whimper.

Close to being speechless, you stammer out softly, needing him more than anything.

"Please kook.. touch me.. please eat me out, fuck this is so embarrassing" your hand untangles from his hair, both of them meeting to cover your face.

A small laugh can be heard before he moves his own hands up, prying yours from your face by your wrist.

He scans your face, your slightly parted lips inviting him to a kiss once more.

"Don't hide pretty, sound so good when you're this pathetic and desprate. Gonna give you just what you asked for"

He hooks his arm back under your thigh, the other one holding you by the knee. Letting his eyes wander down to your core for just a moment, he takes in the sight of your soaked underwear, basically transparent.

It made him twitch in his pants,

Knowing that he has just about the same effect on you as you do on him.

He presses a kiss your still covered clit, tongue poking out to lick over it, pressing the fabric to your skin.

It doesn't take long for him to move his tongue down to your entrance, licking slow stripes across and using the tip of his tongue to push the fabric into your slit a little bit.

It fills you with excitement and frustration,

"Please stop teasing me.. please" your whines are much louder now, annoyed that you're so close to finally feeling the relief you need.

Finally knowing how it feels to have him touch you.

He groans softly, quickly pulling the panties down to your ankles before latching on to suck on your clit.

The feeling is euphoric, nothing compares to seeing Jungkook's pretty face burried between your thighs, his lips wrapped around your clit as his tongue gently darts across it.

He moves his tongue down, caressing your thighs with his hands, tasting every drop of arousal spilling out from you.

His body is filled with the need to feel your every reaction, touch where ever he can reach.

The tip of his tongue pushing into your hole ever so slightly, before moving to lick back up to your clit.

Ever since he started you haven't stopped moaning, softly rambling about how good he feels.

"Look so pretty.. fuck it feels so- so good.." your voice trails off into a whimper, the knot in your stomach tightening with each lick, his soft groans only intensifying the pleasure.

Helplessly your hips buck into his face,

he takes it gladly, humming in approval.

"You'll take a finger won't you doll?" he says as his pointer finger is already circling your entrance, ghosting over it.

As a response, your hips buck up again slightly, moving both hands to grab his shoulders, nodding furiously at his question.

"Words. Will you take it?´´ he repeats, his tongue returning back to licking your folds once he finished speaking.

"Yes, yes, yes will take it"

"Good, very good" he pushes his single digit in without any further warning, sinking in until his knuckle stops him, immediately pumping in an out.

"So fucking small doll, only my finger and you´re suffocating it, so greedy" the vibration of his low purring only supporting your approaching orgasm.

For a moment Jungkook allows himself to look at you, face fucked out completely, eyes weakly staring down at him,

Your mouth opened softly as gasps and whines leave your mouth.

It keeps him going to see you enjoy it, his finger speeding up as his licks become more firm.

The pleasure built up fast from that point, feeling like you would snap and come on his tongue and finger at any moment, clenching around it.

He moans softly on your skin when he feels it,

"Close? Are you gonna coat my finger with your cum pretty?"

"Jungkook- fuck yes, close. God, the way you talk is driving me insane" your legs pick up shaking again, fingers digging into his shoulders when your whole body shudders against him.

His voice, his hands, lips, face burried between your thighs, it all creats a beautiful picture, unforgettable.

"Come on doll, give it to me, let me taste it" his lips move to wrap around your clit,

Which is all that you needed to come undone under his touch, shaking and whimpering loudly.

He slowly retracts his mouth, stroking your thighs and gently moving his fingers to let you ride out the high, before removing it completely as you still pant from the pleasure.

Naked and slightly bruised chest moving heavily, clit swollen and throbbing.

He places a small kiss against your hip,

"Did so well, sounded so fucking pretty, taste so sweet"

You look at him wide eyed as he licks his finger clean, clearly enjoying every drop of your release he could get.

His hand reach down to your ankles, pulling your panties back up and kissing your newly covered clit one last time.

"Come here, calm down yeah? You on earth doll?" he chuckles in a cocky and low tone, pulling himself up next to you and placing a kiss on to your forehead.

The absolute aftershock and realization hitting you, immediately blushing the darkest shade of red and hiding against his chest.

"Oh.. my..god. what the fuck just.." mumbling against his chest he strokes your back and hair softly. A small effort to reassure you.

"No don't. Don't say it. I know what happened but.. i mean.. what.." you continue, not knowing how to act know, not knowing what to say.

Asking yourself if that meant you were his now, like he had said before.

"Well, you tell me. I said you're mine, you're the one wanting to know things" he puts one hand under your chin, lifting your face to his and pressing a kiss to your lips.

Although his eyes look neutral, his kiss is filled with care.

You smile against his lips,

"Fuck whatever i said, i can learn while being yours, if the offer still stands"

He scoffs, flicking your forehead once he pulls away from the kiss

"You're an idiot. Of course it does"

It was hard not to giggle when he's being so stupid after giving you the best orgasm of your life.

It's your turn to kiss him now, placing a small peck to his cheek and another one to his jaw.

His lips curve into a softy smile, "Come on, let's go to bed hm?"

Your head tilts at his suggestion, knowing full well that he's fully errect,

You can feel him pressed against you after all.

"But.. what about you?" he strokes your hair before holding your cheek in his palm, a cheeky grin on his lips.

"Don't worry, i don't really care for that right now, besides I don't want to tire out miss virgin Mary hm?" his hand moves down to your chin, squeezing your cheeks between his thumb and remaining fingers.

Instead of reacting, your entire body freezes, looking at him with an expressionless face.

"What? Think i couldn't tell? Come on, you were a mess from kissing, so tight around only a single finger doll. Not that hard to miss" he chuckles, kissing your forehead another time, all the while you wish you could disintegrate into the ground.

Sure, it might have been easy to tell, but did have to keep teasing?

"Oh my god you're unbelievable. Do you.. uh, mind that i didn't say anything?"

His hand moves to grab your hoodie that was surprisingly not far gone, tapping your arms to signal you to lift them up,

"No, i don´t. I get it, i mean, I'm not that experienced either and at my age that is kind of embarrassing to admit as well" he speaks carefully while slipping the hoodie back over you, moving some strands of hair out of your face.

You nod, smiling at his delicate gesture.

"I see, you're sure that you're okay?"

He rolls his eyes,

"Yes, I'm sure. Come on, let's go to bed, I´m tired, i know you´re too" he shifts, picking up his tossed shirt and your pants only to throw them on the couch when he stands up.

You´re still sitting, eyes moving down to the very visible bulge in his pants, straining them in a sexy and arousing way.

He snorts, waving a hand in front of your face before he grabs yours, pulling you up and leading you to his bedroom.

"Kook?" you ask him, a million questions running through your mind at once.

Everything that happened after the intimacy is so normal, almost thoughtlessly routine.

His presence being so comforting and complete to you, you did not even need to ask why you should sleep next to him, or if it was okay to do so.

"Yes?" he answers, pulling the covers on his bed back and stepping closer to hold you by your waist and staring you down,

A look of admiration on his face, his eyes practically screaming the words I love you

"So.. we.. uhm.. this is official now?" was somehow the only condensed version of all the thoughts you could gather together.

He smiles, lifting you briefly to lay you on his bed, climbing in to lay beside you, his hand immediately finding your face again.

"What does it look like? How many times do you need me to confess? Damn, im starting to think doll, that this gets you off" he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to his warm body.

Your feelings for him intensifying in that very second,

"No, but i do get off on that nickname. And the way you're so touchy. Kinda cute" you scrunch your nose up, putting your arms on his body as well.

"Shut up. Sleep well yeah?" he says, tucking your head under his to stop you from seeing the shyness spread across his cheeks, accompanied by the smile visible in his voice.

"Sleep well, kook. but.."

"Oh my god what is it?" he groans, squeezing your body to show off his annoyance.

You giggle softly,

"Thank you. For saving my ass today and uh.. for, you know" the last words leave your mouth in a stuttered manner, too shy to speak out what you are referring to.

He scoffs playfully, "21 and can't say the word orgasm. Whatever, get used to it doll, gonna take care of you from now on"

Knowing it didn't matter how annoyed he was, nothing could take away the fact that you're falling asleep in his arms this very second.

It made both of your hearts melt.

[theelfsongbard]

Counterweight

Pairing: spawn!Astarion x AFAB!reader

Summary: after the epilogue, you and Astarion share a summer’s afternoon together in the meadow. For @oharahive’s breeding kink challenge!

Warnings: epilogue spoilers, breeding kink, mentions of potential future pregnancy

Word Count: 2273

Image source: https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/760123243354175763/

These past 6 months have been the counterweight to 200 years of misery. Thank you.

He had said those words to you weeks ago, and from then, he had slowly been opening up more and more to you. More frank, more transparent with his feelings than ever before. Today, he is quiet again but you know his mind is anything but, still coming to terms with his grand adventure and the turn of fate that it has brought with it. All at once, he speaks up.

“You bring me the best happiness. You show me the way, where I cannot see and you give me love where I don’t always deserve it. I don’t know how you do it, but I will always be grateful for you.”

The summer breeze blows over the meadow, sifting over the long grass like a wave of verdant green. How lovely it is, to be here, to be loved. Astarion’s thoughts lazily drift as he rests his head in your lap, his eyes shut and sheltered from the sunlight by the wide canopy of an old oak. Slowly he breathes in, bringing cool air into lungs that no longer work. Things have changed drastically in the past 6 months, and now, despite his condition, he found himself flourishing and a free man.

Above him, your gentle humming stops though your hand in his hair continues to massage his scalp with just the right amount of pressure. “And I would give up anything to see you happy for all eternity without hesitation. Has last night’s party been on your mind, love? You’ve been introspective lately.”

“How can I help myself, darling? I can’t help but think about how things could’ve turned out so differently, and yet every iteration I think about, I cannot imagine myself being happier than I am now. You led me here and I… hate to think what life would be like without you being my guiding light. I’d be bitter, resentful, enslaved still by my own will or by Cazador. And I know that I was not always easy to love, but you stayed anyways when it would have been so easy to walk away.”

“You are worthy of love. I have chosen to love you because waking up to your smile every day and seeing you grow into who you are brings me joy. You are my home and my guide. The obstacles we faced together only strengthened our bond.”

Astarion cracks one vermillion eye open, a knowing smirk on his lips, “You like my smile? Why don’t you tell me more?” His voice deepens playfully as he drags you down to press some feather-light kisses on your mouth. This is his way of processing his feelings on complicated topics, as if he is afraid that wallowing in his thoughts any longer will eat him alive even though he has become less self-conscious about openly sharing his thoughts now.

You gasp in feigned scandalousness, “If I feed your ego too much, you might be too full of yourself for tonight’s dinner! I suppose you’ll just have to settle with knowing that you’re just lovely.” The way you giggle into his mouth sets something alight in him and he flips himself over, pinning you down into the grass below him, earning him a squeal of delighted surprise. This time, it’s your turn to lean up and capture his lips with her own, pulling a low rumbling chuckle from deep in his throat that vibrates through his chest and into hers where he presses against you. “Cheeky little thing aren't you?” the sound of his voice combined with the feeling of his arms caging you in makes your heart beat wildly in its ribcage. Nobody plays the game of seduction better than Astarion and the past 6 months together have only given him time to learn exactly what makes you tick.

“If you're worried about me being too full for dinner, I suppose I can always have dinner a little earlier, if you'll permit it. There's always room for dessert afterwards.” his lips graze tantalisingly over the exposed skin of your neck, his nose nuzzling the shell of your ear with care.

The ring of your laugh chimes like a bell on the wind, “Oh, just stop playing coy and come down for a bite then!”

You don’t need to ask twice before you feel his fangs probing for the blood beneath your skin before finally piercing into your neck, you grit your teeth and cling to his arms as he bears down. The feeling of pain never gets any better no matter how many times he feeds from you, but you have gotten used to the icy pricks and the ensuing numbness as he draws the blood from your body into his. It's his chest that warms first, followed by the healthy flush of life that fills his cheeks and… more intimate regions making itself known by the hardening desire pressed into your stomach.

Drunk on the fresh bouquet of your blood, Astarion laps his tongue against the puncture wounds at your neck, capturing the remnants of his dinner as it runs from the site. An appreciative moan pours from his throat, and when he pulls away at last, you can see that his eyes burn with fire and need. Feeding Astarion doesn’t always lead to sex, but the intimacy of the act makes it a very appealing activity for you both and today is one of those days.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about our future as well, what adventures it might hold for us both,” he kisses up your neck, tickling you and leaving you gasping for air as he teases. The only coherent word you can manage to utter is a shaky “yes?”.

“And I had the most interesting chat with Gale at the party.”

You frowned, wondering where on earth he was going with this. There was once a time when he and Gale weren’t on the best of terms with one another, not in the least because he was also competing for your affection when it was clearly already given to Astarion. Although time had mellowed out Astarion’s moodiness and dislike of the wizard, you couldn't help but think that perhaps it was jealousy that had stoked the fire of his appetite today.

“Oh? And what about him?” you squirmed about as his lips found your ear.

“It's nothing about him, but it is about us. You see, he was telling me about a guest lecturer he had at his school, a dhampir.”

Oh. Oh. So that was what was on his mind.

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” The implication hung there, tantalising. The idea of children wasn’t a topic that you had broached with Astarion. In all honesty, you had both had your hands full with other things; adventuring, searching for a cure to vampirism, working to rebuild the Underdark for the many spawn that had been released from Cazador’s manse. But now that he had mentioned it, your mind couldn't help but be filled with images of Astarion lovingly gazing down at a small fragile bundle close to his chest, swathed in cloth. Astarion smiling as he held out a finger clutched by tiny hands. Astarion cooing and stroking its cheek as it drifted into a trance, protected from the cruelty of the world by his love. “Astarion.” A familiar tingle of heat fills you and concentrates itself at your core as the thoughts suffocate the forefront of your mind until nothing else surfaces.

“Think of them reaching for us, seeking the comfort of our loving embrace, filling our home with joy in the mornings.” he breathes in wantonly, inhaling your intoxicating scent. You are fertile, and the tang of your blood on his tongue and the scent of it lets him know that your body is ready at its peak to receive a child if you should choose to do so. “I’m ready for a child, if you are, my love.” he breathes it like a promise against your mouth, forehead pressed to yours waiting for your answer.

“Yes. I am ready.” you respond in kind, kissing him earnestly. “Give me your child.”

Astarion’s ministrations grow as much as his enthusiasm. From where he is hovering above you, he growls with a hint of possessiveness and primal joy. The fact that you were willing was a promise of security, of having you by his side in the years to come with the knowledge that you loved him so much that you would choose to create something that would immortalise your expression of love for each other in flesh and bone and flowing blood.

You were his of your own choosing and he was yours. Would always choose you and stand by your side. The thought drives him mad and admist the attention that he lavishes on your lips, a hand snakes down your body, freeing your tucked shirt and undressing you with uncanny dexterity and speed fueled by his need to have you as his partner and his mate. Immediately. To press you down and fill you to the bursting with his essence until his seed overflowed in your womb and blessed you both with child.

His hand is distracted by the curve of your breasts, kneading them gently as he begins to move down your body to lick and suckle on them. The moans pouring from you only serve to heighten his own arousal and fill him with satisfaction as he plays you with all the expertise of a bard with a well-acquainted instrument. When he finally relieves you of your pants, he lovingly dips a finger along your folds, making you buck your hips up, collecting the slick and rubbing it against your clit, revelling in the way you’re already wet with desire for him causing a shiver to run through your body. “Excited, darling?” he dares to tease out with that high giggle of his. The heat in your cheeks only grows as you huff, “you don’t say. Please, don’t stop now.” you're so desperate for his touch, to feel him inside you.

He chuckles, “Only because you’re so desperate -“. He licks a long stripe up through them, but despite pretending otherwise, the hold you have on him is too great and inhumanly quickly, he scrambles back up, his knee hooking up under yours to open you up and pulling himself free from his trousers as he aligns himself with your entrance, coating himself in you before pushing in until he’s fully sheathed in your warm heat. The unexpected stretch rips a stifled yelp of pleasure from you and Astarion can’t help but moan in kind. “Don’t hide, let me hear you.”

Waiting until you’ve adjusted to him, he lifts your knees up to his shoulders, folding you over so that he can bury himself deeper inside. The new position brings you closer to the edge as he thrusts with increasing vigour, losing himself in the need to fill you up completely, imagining his seed taking and the swell of your belly bearing the evidence of your passion for everyone to see. “I want to see you dripping with my seed, fucked full until there’s no room left for anything else.”

“Then do it!” you just about screamed as he reached between you to rub on your clit. “Give it to me,” you sobbed, “until there’s nothing left to give.” the added pressure sent you tumbling over the edge, and your vision blacked out momentarily as your mind tried to catch up with your body, still spasming and twitching around his cock, milking him of all he had as he met his release with a shuddering roar, driving himself even deeper than he had before as he spent himself inside you. He doesn't move to pull out, keeping himself and his spend inside you do as long as possible and the intention of the action makes you clench slightly around his softening cock drawing a hiss from Astarion. “You want to go again, love?”

Catching your breath, from the exertion you couldn't help but drag him down to lay beside you, holding him close as you rest your head on his arm, nuzzling close to his neck and inhaling his comforting scent. It spells safety and tenderness that you know is only reserved for you. “Not right now, Astarion. I'm exhausted, but maybe we do it again another day,” you say with a laugh, “after all, if it doesn’t work this time, we’ll just have to keep on trying.”

“Well,” he says with a lazy kiss, “I’m very on board with your idea.”

“This is nice. This is really nice,” you whisper to him. “I just want to lay here with you forever.”

His hand snakes over to rest on your waist, the reassuring weight grounding you and the gentle press of his lips to your hair making your heart flutter. “Then let’s stay, for a little while longer at least. Close your eyes, darling.” Without even being able to see it, you can hear the smile on Astarion’s lips as he says it. You can’t help but feel a swell of contentment and pride at these moments of softness where so much was said with so few words.

You don't know how long you lay there in the field with Astarion, holding each other as the sun sank below the horizon but the next time you’re pulled from your trance, it’s the stars that watch over you as you anticipate the hopeful possibility of what might come to fruition.

[pollymorgan]

Ex-husband Negan Part 1

Warnings: Negan is a total asshole, but hot!

When I first saw Negan, almost exactly 29 years ago, I had no idea what important role he would play in my life. I was just a naive girl, instantly infatuated with this rebellious, outspoken, handsome motorcyclist who didn't follow any rules and did his own thing. Just a few days after that first meeting, he became my first serious boyfriend.

Love is blind, they say, and that certainly applied to me. I put up with all his mistakes, lies, and escapades for three whole years until I finally had enough and ended things. The pain and disappointment overshadowed my life for a long time. But if you think you learn from your mistakes, then you don't know me. When I was in my late twenties, this guy had drawn me back in and even convinced me to marry him.

Had he changed? Not at all! Despite his constant assurances. But maybe he simply can't help it. Negan remains Negan. In the cursed seventh year, I couldn't take it anymore and filed for divorce. Not because I didn't love him anymore, in fact quite the opposite, but the disappointments were just too much to bear.

Despite everything, he had given me the most precious and wonderful gift in my - our life. Our two babies. Gracie and Lizzie. And that fact alone will probably never truly separate us.

The two of them are no longer little, though, but 11 and 17 years old. And my ex-husband is the best father i could imagine. It seems like he wants to make up for all the mistakes he made with me through them.

They love their father more than anything, and that alone makes me incredibly happy. That's why I can't hate him, even though I have pretty good reasons to.

Just now, the three of them spent the last weeks of summer vacation in a cabin in the mountains. The fact that my media-crazed girls wanted to spend their free time fishing, swimming, and hiking, all without cell phone reception, fascinated me immensely. They probably would have thought I was crazy if I had made that suggestion to them.

It was strange not having my daughters in the house, but I also enjoyed the peace a little. It had been quiet around me for a long time.

My new partner, an architect from the office where I work, and I had been arguing more and more in recent months. Last week, it even escalated to the point where he moved into a hotel. Fortunately, Gracie and Lizzie weren't home.

I wanted this relationship to work so badly, but apparently it was doomed to fail. Steve is the complete opposite of Negan - calm, down-to-earth, perhaps even a bit boring, but I thought that after everything I had been through, that's exactly what I needed.

Ironically, what I constantly accuse Negan of, that he can never maintain a long-term relationship, unfortunately seems to apply to me as well.

But today, I tried to push my worries aside because my daughters were returning from their vacation, and I was looking forward to being able to hold them in my arms again after two weeks.

I was just about to put their favorite casserole in the oven when my phone rang.

"Gracie, my darling!" I almost shouted into the receiver.

"Hello Mom, we're on our way back now!" she replied.

"When will you be here? ... Dinner won't be ready for another hour.."

"Dad, how much longer do we have to drive?" I heard her ask.

When I heard Negan's response faintly in the background, my expression hardened and I looked at the clock in shock.

"Another 5 hours???" I asked incredulously.

It was almost 6 PM and school started tomorrow. Negan had promised me that they would be back in time for dinner.

"Sweetheart, can you please give me your father on the phone..." I spoke as calmly as I could into the receiver, and Gracie immediately handed the phone over.

"Hello, my beautiful..." he said with his unmistakable, deep voice that still gave me goosebumps after all these years.

At his words, I couldn't help but smile, even though I wasn't really in the mood for it.

"Negan, damn it, you promised to be back for dinner, the kids have to go back to school early tomorrow morning.." I said seriously.

I heard an irritated grunt from him, then he replied, "I didn't know that you bourgeois have dinner promptly at 6, but now seriously... our girls wanted to see a waterfall, and you know I can't deny them any wishes. I'll bring them home safely, I promise."

"I know..." I whispered into the receiver and then emphasized louder, "...but that's not the point!"

After the call, I turned off the oven in exasperation and sat down in front of the TV with a glass of red wine, trying to distract myself with some silly soap opera to prevent my anger from escalating even further, but it wasn't really working.

"It's okay, nothing happened, they're just coming home a bit later," I tried to reassure myself, cursing Negan inwardly. He broke every promise he made to me with such ease.

The hands of the clock seemed to stand still, or at least that's how it felt to me. Time passed agonizingly slowly. I started preparing everything for Lizzie's school day tomorrow. She would be so tired in the morning, and I already felt sorry for her.

By 10 PM, I was standing by the window, staring out into the dark night, while the table was set and dinner was ready. After what felt like an eternity, the car finally pulled up with my family.

My two girls jumped out of the car beaming with joy, and that dashed any hope I had that they might have slept a little during the drive.

I immediately opened the front door, and Lizzie ran into my arms.

"Mama, I caught the biggest fish of all..." she shouted from a distance.

"That's amazing, did you have a lot of fun?" I asked her, holding her tightly in my arms, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair.

"It was the coolest vacation ever!!!" she said convincingly and then rushed into the house. My eldest approached me more slowly, but she too had a big grin on her face. Gracie had inherited her father's smile and knew exactly how to get away with everything with me. She had to use it quite often, considering she also inherited Negan's temper. I pulled her into my arms as well and was once again taken aback by how grown she had become. There wasn't much left of my little girl; she already seemed so mature.

"It was really cool, Mom," she said coolly.

Then my gaze fell on Negan. Damn, after all these years, just seeing him made my heart beat faster. With my arms crossed, I tried to glare at him as menacingly as possible, but he just smiled and planted a way too long kiss on my cheek.

The smell of his aftershave and the feeling of his lips on my skin took my breath away for a few seconds. I quickly composed myself and swallowed hard.

As he tried to enter the house as if it were the most natural thing in the world, I stood provocatively in his way.

"Thanks, Negan! Have a good night, get home safely..." I said.

Lizzie came running back immediately. You could hear her running on the parquet floor from a distance.

"Can't Dad eat with us?" she asked, completely excited.

"It's already late, my dear..." I replied firmly, ruffling her hair, but not breaking eye contact with Negan.

"Is Stevieboy projecting his jealousy again, or why can't I even take a damn step into my family's house?" he asked, slightly amused.

Shocked, I looked at him. I was used to his remarks, but claiming something like that in front of our youngest daughter shocked even me.

"My husband isn't here... he's on a business trip!" I lied.

"Husband? If anything, he's more like your friend, or rather your companion for this phase of life..." Negan corrected me provocatively, underlining his statement with another grin.

Gracie returned to the door as well. "Dad drove forever, can't we eat together at least? We can show you some really cool pictures. Dad bought us a really awesome DSLR camera..."

I bit my tongue to stop myself from commenting on his unnecessary expenses. How many times had we argued about his inability to handle money in the past? But unlike him, I didn't want to say such things in front of our children. So, I reluctantly stepped aside and gestured for him to come into the house.

During dinner, everyone was talking at once, sharing the wildest stories from their trip. Both my daughters definitely inherited their tendency to exaggerate their stories from their father. But just like him, they always made me laugh with their tales. So, I even shed a few tears of joy as they recounted every detail to me. I felt Negan watching me the whole time, when he wasn't putting on his black-rimmed glasses to find the right picture to match the current anecdote on his camera.

Mid-conversation, Gracie suddenly jumped up as her phone vibrated, "It's David finally...." She ran out of the room with a big smile on her face.

"We won't be seeing her tonight..." I stated, wiping a few tears from the corner of my eye that I had shed while laughing.

"Oh, David... that guy doesn't sit well with me at all..." Negan observed seriously, looking at me somewhat perplexed.

"May I remind you that our daughter hasn't been a little girl for a long time... she's 17!" I chuckled at the fact that it seemed to genuinely bother him.

"David is her boyfriend..." Lizzie chimed into the conversation.

"Sweets, promise me that at least you won't bring a boyfriend home, okay?" Negan addressed our youngest.

"That's nonsense, your mom was 16 when she met your dad... even a year younger than your sister now..." I explained to her.

"That's exactly why this whole thing worries me so much..." Negan cut me off, and as I looked at him, I couldn't help but think back to the night I lost my innocence to this guy. Everything was so perfect back then. I know not many women can say that about their first time. But even though we were both so young, Negan was so tender and considerate with me, yet so confident that he dispelled all my insecurities. And that night was just the beginning of many more, even better... Lost in thought, I bit my lip until Lizzie's words snapped me out of my reverie.

"Can Daddy tuck me in, pleeease...?" she asked.

Smiling, I kissed her forehead. "Yes, of course..."

After everyone had gone upstairs, I started clearing the table, taking my time. I slowly washed the large casserole dish and then loaded the rest into the dishwasher.

"Is anyone checking out this perfect ass?!"

Negan's voice made me jump. I hadn't heard him approach, and as I turned to face him, he was pouring two glasses of red wine as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

I had to process the shock for a moment, then I made a dismissive gesture with my hands as he approached me.

"You should leave, it's late... way too late..." I said as convincingly as I could.

The tall man stopped right in front of me and wordlessly handed me one of the glasses. I knew the sparkle in his hazel eyes all too well, and it made my knees weak.

For a while, he just looked into my eyes, then he gently caressed my bare upper arm with his fingertips. Goosebumps formed where he touched me tenderly.

"You were thinking about our first time earlier, weren't you? I could see it in your beautiful eyes..." he whispered softly, while his gaze roamed unabashedly over my body.

I swallowed hard and then looked at him feigning surprise. "No, I don't know what you're talking about..." Why could he still read me like an open book after all this time?

Instead of protesting, he smiled knowingly.

I needed to get away! Away from this situation that always led to the same thing. Determined, I took a big sip of wine and went straight to the small table in the other corner of the kitchen. I needed to create as much space between us as possible to be able to think a bit clearer.

I had left my cigarettes there earlier when I smoked one on the terrace while waiting. Now I took one out of the pack and lit it, leaning against one of the stools.

Steve had strictly forbidden smoking in the house, he didn't like it at all when I did, so I usually smoked secretly behind the shed in the garden. But right now, I didn't care. Steve wasn't here, only Negan, trying to ensnare me in his web once again, as he had done hundreds of times before.

"What's all this about, Negan? Do you need that reassurance to be able to get me into bed?" I asked directly.

Surprised, he looked at me, "Who's talking about me trying to get you into bed? You have quite the wild imagination, that's what I've always loved about you. ... That you were thinking about back then earlier was just an observation, my dear..."

Once again, he came directly towards me. I felt like prey caught in a trap. When he stood in front of me, I automatically spread my legs slightly so he could squeeze between them. I looked up at him, and without breaking eye contact, he took the cigarette from my hand, took a deep drag, and then tossed the rest into the last gulp of his red wine, causing a brief sizzling sound. Only a moment later did he exhale the smoke.

"Damn, you just keep getting more beautiful," he whispered, taking my chin between his fingers.

As often before, I just let it happen. Then he gently stroked my lips with his thumbs, and I tasted his slightly rough skin. It sent little jolts directly to my core, making me nervously shift back and forth on my stool.

"Do you often think about how it feels when I touch you, my sweet? What it's like when my lips explore this perfect body..." he asked in a deep voice, and I could only nod slightly. But then I tried to gather myself again. Gently, but firmly, I pushed his hand away from me and then said, "But it won't happen again, Negan. I can't make the same mistake over and over again..."

[andreal831]

Could you write a scene where Hayley, Elijah, Klaus, and Cami teach Hope some sort of (board) game? Hope could be around like 4-6 years old, and we’ll just pretend that everyone is alive and happy during this time.

Mischief and Monopoly

Series: The Originals Pairings: Hayley/Elijah (haylijah); Cami/Klaus (klamille) . This is not a part of the TGW universe

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“I told you she is still too young for this one,” Hayley couldn’t hide her laugh at the pout her six year old daughter was giving her. She wanted to argue that it had been her uncle who was being a stickler with the rules and that her pout needed to be redirected, but she knew Elijah wouldn’t cave on this. Although, her pout seemed pretty effective on him in every other aspect.

“It is never too young to learn the importance of rules and structure,” Elijah retorted as he picked up the colorful money Hope had thrown down on the table.

“Don’t worry, darling,” Klaus patted his daughter’s back gently. “He’s always been this way. When I was not much older than you are now, your Uncle Elijah used to beat me at any game we played. He makes you earn your victories.”

“But when you do,” Elijah shared a smile with his brother and then refocused on his niece, “and you will. It will be all the more rewarding.”

Hope let out an exacerbated sigh as she leaned into the blonde’s arms at her side.

“Sweetheart, I bet we can still turn this game around,” Cami stroked her hair soothingly as she held the little girl closely. “Let’s take a deep breath and focus on how we can do that.”

They hadn’t initially been playing in teams. As Elijah reminded them all, Monopoly was not a team game. However, after his third monopoly, the others began to team up on him. Cami and Hope, as per usual, made a good duo as Cami always knew how to temper Hope when she let her emotions get the best of her.

“He already owns half of the properties,” Hope grumbled into Cami’s neck.

“And together, we all own the other half,” Cami reassured her as she pulled back slightly to meet the young girl’s eyes. “Maybe if you think of a compelling offer, your uncle will consider trading something with you.”

This caught Hope’s attention as she turned her eyes slowly toward Elijah, who looked down attempting to hide the smile on his face.

“Uncle ‘lijah,” her small voice was enough to melt anyone, let alone an uncle that was exceedingly fond of the girl. “Would you?”

Elijah looked up carefully, sliding his hand into Hayley’s for the needed strength to deny his niece anything. “You’ll have to wait your turn. It’s Camille’s turn now. But while everyone else goes, why don’t you look at what you have and think on what you would be willing to trade.”

Hayley’s hand, the one Elijah wasn’t holding, lightly smacked his leg under the coffee table. Her eyes met her daughter who sat across from them, between Klaus and Cami. Although it was difficult for Elijah to deny Hope anything, Hayley couldn’t help but smile at the concentration on her daughter’s face as she looked over her properties and the cards she had.

Elijah watched Hope carefully as she leaned over to ‘whisper’ her plans to her stepmother. Although, a six-year-old’s whispers in a room full of supernatural creatures did little to hide her plans. Elijah lips twisted into neutral expression as he attempted to hide his smile at his niece’s strategy. And even more so as she let out an exaggerated groan when he traded several of his houses for hotels.

Although she did let out a laugh as her father grumbled when he landed on one of her uncle’s properties and had to hand over a large sum of money.

“What do you have for me, Hope?” Elijah raised his eyebrow at her as Klaus finished his turn.

Hope glanced at Cami with a nervous look before facing her uncle and squaring her shoulders. Klaus couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips as he watched his small daughter prepare to take on Elijah. She had that stubborn glint in her eyes that he wasn’t sure if she got from her mother or him.

“I will give you this yellow card,” she squinted down at the card as she sounded out the word, “Pen-sil-van-ya Avenue for St. Charles Place and Reading Railroad.”

A proud smile took over Elijah’s face as he watched Hope sound out the words and then confidentially say them. He nearly agreed to the trade simply out of pride as he watched her grip the card in her small hands.

“You are offering one card in exchange for two?” Elijah pushed back gently, curious to see what his clever niece would come up with. “That doesn’t seem like a good deal for me.”

Hope once again exchanged a look with Cami who nodded encouragingly at the young girl, “Yes, but it would give you another monopoly and it’s more than the one’s I want.”

“It’s more expensive?” Elijah clarified to give Hope the vocabulary for their next trade. Hope smiled widely at him in response, hopeful that he was ready to agree to her deal. “Hmm, but it does give you two monopolies.”

“Yes, but I don’t have any,” the slight whine took over her voice, causing Elijah to raise an eyebrow at her. She knew better than to try to whine her way to victory. “I mean, it would be your fourth. That’s still two more than me.”

“Good job, love,” Hayley winked at her daughter with a small smile. Everyone knew to appeal to Elijah’s logical side.

“That is a good point,” Elijah mused as he pretended to survey the board. “I will agree to this deal if you also include your ‘get out of jail free’ card.”

Hayley squeezed his leg and shook her head as her daughter thought through the negotiation. Elijah was making her work for it.

Hope looked back to Cami for advice who only shrugged, “What do you think?”

“I think that’s a good deal,” Hope nodded her head decisively. “Let’s do it.”

She held out her hand, which Elijah shook firmly, “It’s a deal.”

They traded their cards and the adults watch with amusement as Hope excitedly positioned her first monopoly together.

“Do you want to buy any real estate for your first property?” Cami gestured to the bank that she was controlling. Elijah had done it initially, but it only resulted in a fight between the brothers when Klaus attempted to steal money from the bank. Cami had since taken over, knowing Klaus wouldn’t dare cross her.

“Not yet,” Hope said wisely as she looked at the board and picked up the dice. “I need to save my money. I’m about to go through Uncle “lijah’s property.”

“Probably smart,” Cami nodded her head in approval at Hope’s logical decision. Even as a young girl, she had a sharp, strategical mind.

Hope carefully rolled the dice on the board, careful not to mess up the pieces. She counted the little dots diligently and then moved her piece, sighing in relief as she landed on the Community Chest.

“Read it aloud,” Klaus encouraged as she picked up her card from the center. They had begun playing weekly board games with Hope to encourage her to practice her reading, math, and strategy. He couldn’t have imagined the amount of pride and joy he felt every time he watched his daughter learn a new skill. Even if he feared she was becoming too much like her uncle, siding with Elijah anytime he attempted to cheat. She was ever the pragmatist.

“Free Parking!” She cheered as she showed off her card to the table, quickly grabbing her piece to advance it to the directed spot.

Cami beamed at the girl as she reached for where the money was securely stashed, far away from Klaus.

“See,” Cami handed the colorful paper over. “You just have to keep trying and it will turn around.”

“And even if it doesn’t,” Hayley added, “it’s just a game.”

“I know,” Hope smiled as she sorted her money. “But I don’t like to lose.”

“I know, baby girl.” Hayley reached over to stroke her hair. “You are competitive, but some things are more important than winning. Like learning or having fun with your family.”

“I know, mom,” Hope began to roll her eyes at her mom but instantly stopped when she saw the stern look that crossed Hayley’s face. “You’re right. I’m still having fun, even if I have to give all of my money to Uncle ‘lijah.”

“And that’s the most important lesson,” Elijah looped his arm around Hayley, pulling her close. “Your mother is always right.”

[somewhere-at-the-burrow]

hii!!! i hope your move into your college dorms went well ☺️

im so happy i found your blog, its amazing! i am an aspiring shifter, i’m shifting to a hogwarts-related DR with the main desire to fall in love with my s/o (i love love haha) but also to just be at hogwarts, have fun, have adventures, three work at the ministry, etc - so i would like to permashift!

i adore your aesthetic and everythingg, im learning so much and just reading your posts make me super happy! you inspired me to create a blog too. hopefully i’ll have experiences that i can share soon

and we’re almost the same myers-briggs type - i am an infj 🩵

i have a few questions, i hope they’re not too much ~ 

do you have a waiting room, and if not, if you were to have one, what do you think it would look like

2. did you script others’ names for random  students at Hogwarts (like did you script that italian guy coming to Hogwarts, or did you just script that your DR plays out with interesting scenarios and drama scenarios and that is how it played out?) i feel like i remember you said you didn’t script stuff like that, i’m still reading through all of your posts so i’m so sorry if you already mentioned this!

3. did you age up to 15 years old for fourth year? did you keep the same 7 year format for hogwarts?

4. do you have another dr that follows the main harry potter x voldemort plot?

5. is there a muggle washing machine equivalent in the wizarding world? is there a laundry room where you bring all your dirty clothes in to be washed? who washes them, the house elves, or is there a way for students to do it on their own and they pick it up when it’s clean and dry? does that mean your clothes have to be labeled with your name? i feel like i remember in the sorcerer’s stone that they got crabbe and goyle’s uniforms with their names on it from the laundry or something!  

6. do students wear muggle clothing after school or on the weekends? the prisoner of azkaban was such an aesthetic because of the jeans and 90’s style clothing everyone wore after school but i would think everyone mostly wore their uniforms, even after classes are done for the day, like in the books, but i’m not sure!

7. can you only go to hogsmeade on the weekends? like if you need a quill or book for school and it’s not a hogsmeade weekend yet, would you have to get an order form and send it by owl to a shop and send over the galleons by mail and your order is delivered to you by magical mail? 

8. so sorry if this is a little tmi, no need to answer if it’s uncomfortable! but as a girl, i’ve always wondered how do girls deal with their cycle while at hogwarts? is there a magical cloth pad that absorbs everything without needing to change it?

9. did you script in that there would be magazines like Seeker Weekly that you and Ginny read? i’m so excited to be a Quibbler magazine subscriber 

10. did you have to study the layout and appearance of hogwarts, common rooms, the burrow, hogsmeade, diagon alley, knockturn alley, the hogwarts express, etc. before you shifted? a big part of my problem is that i feel like i need to script in everythinggg detail by detail because i suppose i don’t believe that everything will just play out (im a perfectionist and my anxiety is not making it easy 😭)

11. does news from the muggle world get into the wizarding world, or does it feel like the two worlds are truly separate/does it feel like you’re in a lovely bubble in the wizarding world? 

i’m so sorry for all the questions!!

thank you!!! 🥹 🩵🩵🩵

you're so sweet! also, thank you so much angel!! i'm so glad my blog can be of help to you... and your blog is looking awesome already .. i'll def be sticking around to see how it goes <3

𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊 𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 !

{ about my Hogwarts reality }

do you have a waiting room, and if not, if you were to have one, what do you think it would look like

waaaay back in the beginning of my shifting journey, I envisioned having a waiting room that was similar to Newt Scamander's case! I created many layout sketches for it and thought about it all the time, but I've never actually shifted there yet. I also thought about having this magic suitcase include a ladder that leads to a wizarding world reality, but I didn't have one at the time so it just didn't work out. I think the idea is very fun, though! just imagine having the coziest little workshop with bowtruckles and vivarium environments to visit... it sounds so relaxing. in my version, I also envisioned a magical greenhouse with colorful tiles, a kitchen to bake whatever I want, and pathways that lead all over the workshop / vivariums!

2. did you script others’ names for random  students at Hogwarts (like did you script that italian guy coming to Hogwarts, or did you just script that your DR plays out with interesting scenarios and drama scenarios and that is how it played out?)

I personally didn't script anything about how school would work in terms of people there / drama. that is just how it turned out, I guess! I think if you really wanted to, you could script the possibility for drama or different scenarios, but I wanted to see how Hogwarts social circles would play out if I didn't really script anything! and BOY IS IT CRAZY. sometimes I get so caught up in the daily events in my personal schedule, I forget that there is drama happening 24/7 with people that don't exist ANYWHERE in canon. something that was also interesting is the fact that most of my best friends do not exist in canon. I was fully expecting to only be friends with the "main characters", but shifting is real life and you can really have no idea how things like that will play out!

3. did you age up to 15 years old for fourth year? did you keep the same 7 year format for hogwarts?

the 7 year format is the same at my Hogwarts, except we start our first year when we are 15 years old! so, I guess you could say it is kind of like a university / Hogwarts mix? I knew that I wanted to shift into the chamber of secrets timeline, and because I am in the same year as George and Fred, I did the math for how I could interpret my current age into entering my fourth year at Hogwarts. so everyone is aged up!

4. do you have another dr that follows the main harry potter x voldemort plot?

I thought about it once, but when I actually started shifting to my weasley reality, I realized that I didn't want to go through the stress of crazy (and most times traumatic) plot lines. although the harry potter canon events can be pretty interesting sometimes, actually being there and starting my class schedule gave me a bit of an existential crisis and I don't want to deal with that AND umbridge (for example!)

5. is there a muggle washing machine equivalent in the wizarding world? is there a laundry room where you bring all your dirty clothes in to be washed? who washes them, the house elves, or is there a way for students to do it on their own and they pick it up when it’s clean and dry? does that mean your clothes have to be labeled with your name?

this is such a cool question, and I was definitely very curious about this as well before I shifted! at my Hogwarts, there are multiple different ways you can get your laundry done (depending on how fast you need it cleaned etc). the most common option is through the dorm laundry basket, which is usually in the bathroom and is magically collected every evening. there is a laundry room near the Kitchens, and there are staff (wizards and house elves) that use cleaning spells to wash through the laundry baskets they collect! they then fold the clothes and the hamper re-appears in our dorms usually by the next evening. there is also a second option for students who may only have one uniform to cycle through, and that is usually through walking down to the laundry room (typically during the free hours before dinner) and washing it yourself. because the laundry staff have so many clothes to get through, this is the fastest because laundry and drying spells do not take hardly any time in the wizarding world and sometimes working at your own pace is best. IT IS AMAZING!! and yes! you can also pick up your clothes from the wash room if you so choose, but it is so much easier to just use the dorm laundry basket IT MAKES ME SO LAZY FR

6. do students wear muggle clothing after school or on the weekends? the prisoner of azkaban was such an aesthetic because of the jeans and 90’s style clothing everyone wore after school but i would think everyone mostly wore their uniforms, even after classes are done for the day, like in the books, but i’m not sure!

Hogwarts uniforms are only necessary during official school hours, so from 8/9am -- 4:30pm. also, fridays depend on the student's schedule, because sometimes professors will schedule classes on friday but they are usually a study day! the general rule is to put on your uniform if you are visiting a study hall (library, great hall resource hour, selkie commons, etc), and you can take off your uniform and change into regular clothes after school is done or on the weekends. it is pretty common to see an array of students at dinner both wearing their uniforms AND wearing everyday clothes. on the weekends, you will rarely ever see a uniform unless there is a school sanctioned trip or a class that may be meeting for an exam or something! ALSO YES THE 90s STYLE CLOTHING IS AMAZING

7. can you only go to hogsmeade on the weekends? like if you need a quill or book for school and it’s not a hogsmeade weekend yet, would you have to get an order form and send it by owl to a shop and send over the galleons by mail and your order is delivered to you by magical mail? 

something I like about my Hogwarts reality is how Hogsmeade can be visited every day if you would like to go! sometimes it can be very impractical, though, because school/clubs can get out pretty late and it is another 20-30 minute walk to the village, but many older students tend to socialize or get something to eat later in the evening. it all depends! usually that type of stuff is reserved for the weekends, though. school is very busy, but usually everyone plans their work so they can spend one day during the weekend at Hogsmeade!

8. so sorry if this is a little tmi, no need to answer if it’s uncomfortable! but as a girl, i’ve always wondered how do girls deal with their cycle while at hogwarts? is there a magical cloth pad that absorbs everything without needing to change it?

no worries! there are so so many products that are advertised in the wizarding world, but most people just stick to muggle methods because plain and simple.. the cycle sucks and we do what we've gotta do! the dorm supply closet is always supplied with necessary things, and there are also potions that can be given to you in the Hospital Wing for cramps and stomach aches.

9. did you script in that there would be magazines like Seeker Weekly that you and Ginny read? i’m so excited to be a Quibbler magazine subscriber 

I've always wanted to get my hands on a Seeker Weekly magazine, especially when I saw them for the first time in goblet of fire. so, I guess it was just my desires to read crazy wizarding magazines that solidified them in my weasley reality!! there are truly so many different forms of media to consume--- from books to radio channels to magazines. i'd definitely keep that in mind to explore when you shift!

10. did you have to study the layout and appearance of hogwarts, common rooms, the burrow, hogsmeade, diagon alley, knockturn alley, the hogwarts express, etc. before you shifted? a big part of my problem is that i feel like i need to script in everythinggg detail by detail because i suppose i don’t believe that everything will just play out

I definitely have an advantage because I was that kid in high school who was making maps of Hogwarts and stuff like that! but I definitely didn't plan out the entire school and know my whole way around before I shifted. when I try and shift (especially to a new place), I sometimes create a small pinterest board and then I focus on the place I am going to wake up. I have found that that helps me not get so overwhelmed about everything! I didn't know my way around the burrow AT ALL before shifting this summer, but I watched a small video on it and tried to shift imagining what my bedroom would look like. the rest just came with memory when I shifted! you absolutely do not need to script every single detail with your DR.. I personally think that takes out the wonder of shifting and the fact that it is real life to be explored :)

[astrangetorpedo]

IN INTERVIEW

Julien Baker, the interview 6/8/2016

At just 20 years old, Julien Baker gave us last year a first album of intense and rare emotional force, the superb Sprained Ankle reviewed here . A moving record that left a deep and lasting mark on me. It was therefore impossible to miss the young American's arrival in Paris and not to take advantage of the opportunity to try to get to know this outstanding artist a little better. A meeting was thus organized thanks to the invaluable help of Sean, her manager, in a café in the 12th arrondissement, two hours before the young lady's very first Parisian concert, on May 24. A one-on-one meeting that revealed to me an adorable and voluble young woman, incredibly touching and sincere, and above all determined to seize life with all her might! A moment of exchange and sharing that I am not ready to forget.

Hello Julien!

Julien Baker : Hello!

First of all, thank you very much for granting us this interview. I am a big fan of your music and it makes me really happy to meet you!

Oh, thank you! It's a great pleasure for me too, you know! I still can't believe that people like my music enough to want to meet me to talk about it. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, really!

Perfect! Let’s start at the beginning of your story. I read that you’ve been making music for a while now. Could you summarize the journey that led you to where you are today?

Yeah, sure! I started listening to music in middle school. It was rock, I was really into it with painted nails, black eye makeup, all that stuff! [laughs] Then I started playing in bands, punk bands mostly. Then I joined Forrister which is the band I still play in today. We were playing shows in cities around our area. Then I went to college and a friend of mine who worked in a studio there offered me to record with him for free. Since my band couldn't be there, I did it solo, without any specific plans. I put the album out on Bandcamp for $2 or $3 a copy.

That's when Sean [Julien's manager] contacted me and suggested we release the album in a more official and professional way. I told him that I was actually in a band, Forrister, and that no one would be interested in me as a solo artist. He insisted and even though I didn't believe it at all, I agreed to give it a try. I'll always remember the day he called me to tell me that NPR [National Public Radio] was going to play my single. I hung up crying and immediately called my mom all excited to tell her the news! But then, as things seemed to start to take off for me, I started to doubt myself. I felt guilty towards the rest of the band, thinking that they would resent me for doing this project without them. So I called the drummer and asked him what they thought and he said they were just proud and super happy and not mad at me in any way. So I kept going and here I am! I never thought I would come to Europe and do all this, it's crazy, really!

During the band's time, did you already have this desire to write your own songs?

I don't think I had any real unfulfilled desire to do this.

But you were writing?

Yes, I wrote my own songs. But not because the band was holding me back or preventing me from doing it within the collective. It's just that sometimes you write songs but they don't fit the moment. So I put those lyrics aside, like that, without any specific goal. I've always written and played in different bands. There was enough space for all that, things didn't have to be done exclusively in one framework or another.

Were your parents musicians?

Not really. Well my dad bought me a guitar and showed me how to play it. So I started playing by practicing at home on my own. I also took piano lessons but for a very short time. My teacher didn't really like me because I didn't work hard enough. I just played by ear without wanting to learn to read music and he didn't like that. So I taught myself. But my parents were big music fans. They played records all the time at home. When I was younger I wanted to go to a concert, my dad would come with me to make sure I was safe! He was the only adult in the middle of all these tattooed and pierced kids! [laughs] Oddly enough it never bothered me. When he made a surprise appearance at the Bowery Ballroom for my concert in New York, I was so proud! He and my mom have always been a great support!

This is really great!

Yes I know !

In addition to being an author and composer, you are also a student. Are you still going to university?

I just finished my semester. It's currently summer vacation. But I think I'm going to take a break in the fall. I completed the theoretical part of my literature course thanks to online courses. The last thing I need to fully validate my teaching diploma is the practical part, in school with students. I tried to do it last fall but it's complicated to carry out both projects at the same time: give lessons during the week then take a plane to California or New York on the weekend to play a concert, before returning to teach on Monday morning! So I'm going to take a break to devote all my time to music.

Do you want to teach one day?

I think I would really enjoy teaching. I love it. As a teenager I was a summer camp counselor, I love children. So yes it would be really cool to teach!

You studied literature. Did that influence your way of writing?

Yes, totally! I try to feed myself as much as I can from all these different ways of perceiving life and emotions that I find in books. It enriches me intellectually speaking. I have the feeling of learning new things about myself each time I discover a new author and this is then reflected in my writing I think, consciously or unconsciously.

Are you familiar with French literature?

Voltaire! I often joke with my professor friends that I would really like to have a big Voltaire and Cervantes tattoo! I already have a Gabriel Garcia Marquez tattoo [Julien then shows me his 2-part tattoo on the inside of his 2 wrists]…

Is he your favorite writer?

One of my favorites, I can't choose just one! And so when my students would complain that Voltaire is an old man who's not cool, I could show them my Voltaire tattoo and prove to them that it's really cool! [laughs] Reading Candide really changed my life. It was incredible! I think the translation of the title is The Optimist , which is quite ironic. Cervantes wrote Don Quixote and we have this word in English, "quixotic" which means optimistic but optimistic to the extreme, to the point where even if everything is going wrong in your life and you know it, you continue to believe in it despite everything. There is a really romantic and admirable dimension to that attitude I find. Same for Candide where there is this quote that I always come back to when I feel really bad and which says: "I wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but I still loved life" . I think I cried when I first read that sentence. Anyway, I could talk about literature for hours, don't drag me down that dangerous path! [laughs]

Haha, ok. So back to the music! Listening to your album I couldn't help but think of two other artists I really like: Sharon Van Etten and TORRES…

I love TORRES!

Me too! I even did my very first interview with her!

Wow! She's amazing!

Do you agree with this comparison even if the artists in question do not come from the same scene as you?

I totally agree with this comparison! As a teenager I only listened to punk and thought that anything that wasn't punk was worthless. Then I grew up as a musician and learned to appreciate all styles. When you really love music, you love an artist as long as their music is honest and good, no matter what the style. It doesn't matter if it's hip hop or country or whatever!

I totally agree!

And so I'm a big fan of TORRES! I loved her first album, the one before Sprinter . The song Honey is the very first one I heard from her.

The same !

And oh my god, what a song! I played with her in Chicago, I was added as the opening act at the very last minute, I felt so honored! On my way to the dressing room, I ran into her and as I was saying "Oh sorry, I don't want to bother you" she said "No, come on, this is a shared space, you have as much right to be here as I do" and she kindly invited me in. As for Sharon, it's funny because the first time I met her, she asked me to have lunch with her, can you imagine having lunch in New York with Sharon Van Etten! And she told me she was also going to invite her friend Mackenzie [Mackenzie Scott aka TORRES]. But our phones died and we couldn't get a hold of her. So in Chicago TORRES couldn't make the connection, I was just the little girl at the door!

Excellent! Are there any other musical influences that you would claim?

Do you know David Banzan?

Nope…

Ok. There's a band called Pedro The Lion and David Bazan is the lead singer. He influenced me quite a bit. And do you know Death Cab For Cutie?

Yes of course !

They were the first non-punk band I listened to. At the time I only listened to loud and fast music, but when I heard Transatlanticism for the first time it was a shock, everything changed. They really meant a lot to me.

Your texts are very strong and very personal. When you wrote them, did you think about the impact they could have on those around you first and then on the general public?

Well, at first, I didn't imagine that this solo album would lead me anywhere, I was convinced that my music would only be made with my band Forrister. So when I released the album on Bandcamp, I really thought that only my friends would listen to it. So I wrote all these songs like that, just for me, without really thinking about the scope of the lyrics. And I'm ultimately happy that I didn't think about it because if I had known what was waiting for me, I think I would have most certainly changed things, I would have probably been more reserved in my words. But if it's difficult for me to show my vulnerability, I realize that it's totally worth it when young people come up to me after concerts to tell me that my music has helped them in difficult times in their lives. It's of course a little embarrassing for me to share such intimate things but if these things make others feel good, then I think it's worth it in the end.

But isn't it a little scary to expose yourself so completely naked and transparent? It's so brave, I don't know if I could do it myself!

Well, you see, it's exactly the same for me, I'm not sure I would have been able to do it if I had known everything in advance! But now that it has happened, I feel that from now on I have the right, the license to be brave. Perhaps it was the plans of destiny or God, something like that.

And isn't it too difficult for you to sing songs every day that inevitably bring you back to painful moments?

I think there are two options. Option one: I can sing these songs every night, let them take me back in time and feel sorry for myself. Option two: there is the quote from this poet that I love who says that all the horrible things in life just need to be seen from a different and courageous perspective. Things that seem bad can indeed turn out to be good in the end. So I have chosen to let the dark and sad aspects of my songs become pretexts to be positive and happy. Because yes, all these things have happened to me but if that had not been the case, I probably would never have written these lyrics and I would not be here today in Paris talking to you, Laurence! In the grand scheme of things, everything has a meaning and works for our good in the end.

That's very beautiful what you say! [laughs] To talk about lighter things, this is your first time in Europe, isn't it?

Yes !

How do you feel?

I love it! I have such a good time. Well I don't sleep much... [laughs]

Is it the time difference or the excitement?

Well now it's the excitement! But a week ago it was also the jet lag [laughs]. Imagine, we traveled for over 30 hours straight to get here! I first took a plane to Richmond and then a train to Washington DC. We then took a flight to Iceland where we took another flight to Copenhagen. Once there we took a train but due to a problem on the tracks we had to take a bus that took us to another train! When we arrived at the hotel, we were totally exhausted! [laughs] It was 11 o'clock in the evening but at that time of year the sun hadn't set because we were so far north and my body didn't understand anything at all! But hey after a good night's sleep everything was better! And now if I don't sleep it's just because I don't want to miss anything, not a single minute you know! I thought I would never be able to afford to travel and once again it seems that Destiny's plans are extraordinarily kind to me. I feel so grateful and lucky!

And that's just the beginning!

I hope so! But you know, even if everything had to stop, well in any case it would have been much, much more than I could have imagined! I am so grateful for everything that is happening to me!

Are there any particular places you want to discover?

Sean has been here before and wants to show me places he liked. Today he took me to see the Sacré-Cœur which is beautiful. On my side, there are also places I would like to visit, especially in Barcelona, ​​because I am majoring in Spanish literature. I would like to go to the café where Picasso had his very first exhibition, long before he was famous. I would also like to see the Sagrada Familia, Gaudi's work, visit a museum, buy a Viva Cataluña t-shirt and eat paella. I am so excited to be able to do all these things!

That's great! But it's going to take you some time to do all of this!

We are staying there for the whole festival [Primavera Sound Festival]. So we should have some time. Of course we won't sleep much because in the evening I also want to attend the concerts!

You'll sleep when you get home!

Exactly! Since I am a big coffee drinker, one of my friends gave me a badge for my jacket that says "I will sleep when I am dead" ! [laughs] There are indeed so many things to experience in one life! [laughs]

And what are your plans for after the European tour?

We're actually going to be touring until the end of the year.

Will you come back to Europe?

We're going to Australia in November I think. I can't wait! We're also going to tour the States so as for Europe I don't really know... And then I hope to have some free time early next year. I'm always writing new songs that I play live. I must have 30 demos on my computer and I'd really like to record them. So it would be great if I could get into the studio early next year!

Last question: do you have one or more musical recommendations to share with us?

Lucy Dacus!

Oh I love it!

We played together in Washington DC. I had never heard her songs before Washington and I remember hearing the lyrics to Map On A Wall which say "I hope good comes from good and good comes from bad anyway" and I started crying all by myself watching her play. Her music is so beautiful, so powerful! And we have so much in common: questions of spirituality, sexuality and faith, questions about gender too and the place of girls in rock music. We are really like two halves of the same person. We have the same booker and were approached by the same label. And when I saw her again in Richmond I knew we operated exactly the same way. So our biggest fear is that we will one day become jaded and arrogant. We want to remain grateful, sincere and enthusiastic. There are so many people who do this for a long time and end up jaded. It's really great to find someone who feels exactly the same way you do, and that's the case with Lucy. We're platonic soulmates! She's a very, very dear friend.

You must tell her at all costs to come and shoot in Europe and in Paris because there are people waiting for her here!

Promise! I'll send her a message as soon as I have wifi!

Lucy Dacus! A perfect choice! Thank you very much Julien!

Thank you! It was great!

photos by jean-marc ferré 📸

interview by lolo from paris (who has great footage of that paris show on his youtube account) 📝

wayback link for the interview 🔗

[ivquatro]

WIP - I dreamt of Sebastian in a pink suit and decided to draw him!

Below is just a personal story (if it's written in a strange and wrong way, it's because English isn't my native language).

I started to see his face and became emotional, I remembered when I was 14, when I started to draw and threw away all my drawings of Sebastian, which I dedicated myself to learning to draw and do, because my relatives said it was "devil stuff". My parents protected me, they didn't mind that I liked anime and stuff, but it was very traumatic for me, it led to a lot of arguments with my evangelical grandmother and aunts. I used to be very outgoing and that made me close myself off from the world, in a way, and today I'm very introverted and closed off, because I heard horrible things, which hurt me a lot, because I liked anime and drawing, and I always tried hard to be the " perfect child".

(But the awkward questions to answer, the unpleasant atmosphere of arguments, the fact that my father was upset that I argued with my grandmother, as well as the unpleasant atmosphere of family gatherings, were very present at the time. I remember that other things came up and my relatives bothered me for 6 years straight, until I went to college).

It's ridiculous to think that because of religion, people made me think terrible things against myself, which was the source of my anxiety, introversion, being closed off to the point of not saying anything about my feelings. Even after 10 years, I still feel bad about it, it took me 10 years to draw a character and almost cry. I stopped drawing for many years and today I still find it very difficult to show my drawings to anyone I know, I remain anonymous, and I still avoid drawing everything I want to. I was very sad to throw away hours of my effort. In a way, this drawing is simple, but it makes the girl from 10 years ago very happy, I'm still not the woman she would like to be, but I try as hard as I can. I loved Kuroshitsuji, I used to buy clothes inspired by the characters and wear them (even though I lived in Brazil, at least I could wear them in winter :D), I got the manga, I bought things from the anime (my keychain is still from Kuroshitsuji).

There are only 3 drawings left from the many I had, which I still keep. The Undertaker one (my favorite character, I even drew it and made his bookmark) it's 10 years old, the other two will be 10 this year.

In the end, I still love subjects and things about demons, I watch anime from time to time, I still play games, I'm bi, agnostic and I've started drawing again! Next week I'll be 24, I'm still here and I'm going to keep drawing.

[jokeroutsubs]

Interview with Joker Out's member Nace Jordan, from Slovenian magazine Kranjčanka!

"Enriched by a special experience"

We caught up with Nace Jordan, bassist of Joker Out, a week or so after the Eurovision show in Liverpool, a few days after the show in Zagreb, and just before they left for the show in Dublin, where they sold out their first show in twenty minutes… On stage, they kept company to the Irish performers.

The fact that this guy, who is otherwise from Mlaka (T.N: small village near Kranj), is fully booked, can be confirmed by telling you that he moved into a new flat in March of this year - he has been living in Ljubljana for some time now - but he has spent less than 14 days there until it was time for the Eurovision Song Contest. He still returns to Kranj at least twice a week to visit his mother and to stay true to himself: he decided to get a personal trainer a while ago, so now he also goes to Kranj to train there.

Nace Jordan came into contact with music in primary school. He first played the guitar, which he soon replaced with the bass guitar. "Around the fifth grade of primary school (T.N: 10-11 years old), I became interested in instruments and a classmate and I decided to start a music group. He bought a drum set and I bought an electric guitar. Then we quickly saw that there were no bass players. So I sold the guitar and bought a bass guitar," he explains. He has no formal musical training, but says he has been lucky that wherever he has gone in life, there has always been a good mentor who has been able to guide him.

I: How long did this primary school group last?

N: In those days it was a well-known Kranj band called Success. We did a lot of gigs. It's interesting that all the band members from that time are now living off music. They are, for example, the guitarist Nejc Ušlakar, Tajda Jovanović - also from Mlaka - who is a top classical singer and used to sing at the famous Scala in Milan; if I am not mistaken, she is now teaching classical singing in Dubai. We just created an environment for ourselves and stayed in music. The drummer and keyboard player, Aljaž Bernik and Miha Petrovič, have, for example, a very successful wedding band, called Pop Deluxe.

I: What came after primary school? (* (T.N: In Slovenia, primary school lasts for 9 years, from ages 6-15)

N: I enrolled at the then Iskra University, majoring in mechatronics, but just before graduation I started working - actually playing on a cruiser. By some chance I found myself at a jam session open mind in Kranj, where the Kranj drummer Rok Rozman was looking for someone to go on the boat with him. He was impressed with me, I auditioned and of course they weren't very happy at home when I confronted them with the fact that I was going to take my final exams the following year. I was just 18 years old.

I: Was that a cruise ship?

N: Yes. We were travelling in the Baltic Ocean. I remember that we started in Germany, in a port north of Hamburg, then continued on to Gdansk, St Petersburg and to the Scandinavian countries.

l: That was probably the only time you've been on a cruise ship of that kind, a tourist cruise ship?

I've had a lot of people ask me if I would ever go on holiday on a cruise ship. Probably not. But I would go and have another look at the one I played on.

I: When you came back to Slovenia, did you graduate from high school? N: I didn't and I still regret it a little bit. When I came back from the ship, I started working with the singer Katarina Malo. During that time, I was also taken under the wing of two musicians from Primorska (T.N.: a region in the South-Western part of Slovenia) - that's what I mentioned: I found myself somewhere and then a mentor came along. I learned a lot from them. They were David Morgan and Denis Beganovic - Kiki. The first one is a top jazz drummer from the coastal area, he organises a lot of stuff, and he also plays with Avtomobili (T.N. slovenian band), I think he even played with Plestenjak (T.N. Jan Plestenjak, a famous Slovenian pop singer) at one point. Whereas Kiki is a multi-instrumentalist. He's an extraordinary talent. He has worked with Kanzyani and other famous DJs and musicians from abroad. He has made a lot of music, and he also led the Big Band from the coastal region. That was a really nice period for me. I even moved to the coastal region for a short period.

I: Why music, why not football?

N: Certainly not football (laughs). It's the sport I'm least talented in, or rather, all ball sports fall into that context - be it table tennis or football; and, even though my surname is Jordan, I'm the worst basketball player in the world (laughs). Just two days ago, I met my first grade teacher, and of course the topic of music and Eurovision came up. She told me that she knew even back then that school was not for me, but that I would definitely do something creative in my life. It brought back memories of how bored I was at school and how I would rather draw under my desk than listen, even though I was not a bad student.

I: You haven't been a member of Joker Out for long.

N: Since last year. Martin Jurkovič, the original bass player, felt at some point that music was not his main path. He is also an extremely talented programmer and is studying in that direction. He wants to study abroad and decided to finish that chapter. I knew the lead singer of the band, Bojan, from some mutual friend groups before, and the guys were looking for someone who was around their age, professional, good at what they do, and they thought of me. And Martin was in favour of me coming into the group instead of him.

I: And did you imagine that the band would continue the way it did?

N: From the beginning I went into the band with a bit of hesitation. I even suggested a test period. I had learnt that there has to be chemistry between the members. And if we didn't get along with each other the way we do, we wouldn't have performed on the Eurovision stage. We would have had a fight otherwise.

I: Do you spend a lot of time together?

N: First there were the Eurovision showcase concerts, and now there is the summer concert tour in Slovenia. We also have quite a few problems, because we get a lot of calls from abroad. It's logistically difficult, so we're looking for a solution to link some of the concerts to the tour. After the Eurovision Song Contest, we really started to get noticed abroad.

I: Was this your first Eurovision Song Contest?

N: Yes. But I have been to EMA (slovenian national selection for ESC) several times before.

I: Was it as you imagined it would be?

N: Even better. I can say that everyone who has been through this kind of experience has told us that it will be really tough: there will be a lot of work, but that we should also expect crazy parties. But in the end, it was much less exhausting than we expected. In fact, we had such a busy schedule beforehand that Eurovision itself was almost easier for us afterwards. We were practically in the Arena for five days, the rest was socialising, interviews and other commitments. In principle, we like that.

I: You seemed to be well received.

N: We were lucky enough to have connected with practically all the performers. We were always in a good mood, which was seen and felt both in the performances and in the interviews, during the statements. We came home really enriched by a special experience. And it was really nice to see how the people at home supported us. After the first semi-final, we got some footage of how they were watching us and we were just amazed how behind Bežigrad (Ljubljana district), let's say, they watched the first semi-final show in an organised way. The energy was crazy, like at a match.

I: What about Liverpool? Was there any time to "play tourists"?

N: During Eurovision, not really. We were in Liverpool before, because we were shooting a video. I think it was after Barcelona, and we did a lot of walking around the city then. For those who like the Beatles, Liverpool is great.

I : How did it come about that you went to Eurovision in the first place?

N : When I came into the group, the guys and I immediately started talking about whether we would go to this year's EMAs. We decided to go. We knew we would definitely be one of the favourites because we have a really big and extremely loyal audience. Well, then the EMA didn't happen. The jury decided to make their own choice, from the five entries who had the most songs of the week during that year. And I think only two of us ended up applying. There was no EMA, and they sent us to Liverpool.

I: You mostly use Slovenian in your songs.

N: Of course. We have a few songs in English, but we mostly sing in Slovenian. We were talking about how we would work going forwards, and we agreed not to bother with the language. We are proud of our Slovenian language. It's really something beautiful when you see an adult Peruvian man or a five-year-old Spanish girl singing our song in Slovenian. In that moment you understand the athletes and you are proud to be Slovenian.

I: How is it on the street? Do people recognise you? You often hear: is that the bass player of Joker Out?

N: Yes, quite. Most of the time it's people who say something nice to you, or want a selfie. Of course, there are also some "admirers" who stick gum all over my car or leave messages. There's a good side and a bad side to being a public personality. Sometimes it requires of you to spend three hours taking photos - but if you enjoy doing something, that's not a problem either.

I: Do you think that it is actually the fact that you get along well in a group that "pulls" in the audience?

N: The energy between us is definitely something that is contagious. I don't know if it's what makes the audience really like us, but it's something that puts even someone who is in a bad mood in a good mood.

Translation by @kurooscoffee (jokeroutsubs). DO NOT REPOST!

[olivegardenhunter]

The sannin as normal childhood friends who have sleepovers and play games in the forest and bond over liking "gross" animals

anon thank you SO much for this mental image. you have made my very miserable assignment-filled day. I have many thoughts about the sannin and baby sannin being inseparable best friends who were just normal kids make up about 90% of them. here's some hc I have about that (sorry for the massively long post, I'm a yapper at heart)

yes absolutely. I like to think of the sannin as misfits who never fit in anywhere else except with each other. there's so many different reasons for this. we know they became genin at age 6. if this makes them the exception, rather than it being the normal practice for a village in tumultuous times, then this must have meant each of them were prodigies in their own rights in the academy (yes, even Jiraiya I'd say, though I'd suspect his was more a case of recognised potential rather than showing any obvious prodigal talent from the get-go). this is further reinforced by the fact the third hokage became their sensei. I doubt the hokage would've taken up any random group of genin as his students. if this is the case, can you imagine how difficult it must've been for them to make friends with others, their age or otherwise? not only would it be hard to relate to their other peers cause of the age and probably ability gap, but I'd imagine people would've found them downright intimidating! all this, along with all their individual personality which, if their 6 year old selves were anything like their 50 year old selves, would've meant the little baby sannin would not have been anyone's first choice of friends.

so I'd imagine each of them being a bit of loners in the academy. then they get put in a team together. recognise they each stick out like a sore thumb from everyone else, but have all of the above common ground. their personalities are difficult for each to get used to initially, but once they do, these three super super super quickly become absolutely inseperable. to call them family would've been a serious underestimate of their relationship imo.

anyway this is all a long winded way of saying YES they're absolutely those regular childhood best friends who have sleepovers and hang out and play games. I imagine that tsunade grew up with a massive family in a massive loving home. direct contrast to orochimaru who's an orphan and, I imagine jiraiya is an orphan too (hence no canon last name). therefore, the senju compound is typically the designated sleepover venue.

the senju compound has mito, and nawaki, and depending on what your hcs are, would have tsunades parents, and I'd think they'd still effectively live like royalties even if the first and second are dead. (hashirama and tobirama wouldn't be around anymore by the time the three became genin I think, because (and someone correct me if I'm wrong) hiruzen would've already been hokage when he took on the three of them as his students, meaning tobirama would have already passed)

jiraiya and orochimaru just being at awe at the way tsunade lives and just how lively her house is and tsunade is just happy to have kids her age at home with her that just gets her cause her parents always nag her about training and chores, mito still treats her like a baby even though she's already a Shinobi that can take care of herself damn it!, and nawaki is so young he's so boring and sometimes gets annoying. so she always convinces her fellow teammates to come over to her house to practice and train, to babysit nawaki with her, to be the test dummy for try out this new jutsu or technique she's learning, and anything else that she insists she cannot do alone and needs them to be there with her

until suddenly it's already dark and oh her teammates can't possibly walk home all alone at this hour and besides my mum's making dinner and it's your favourite jiraiya and she'd scold me if I didn't offer some to you guys and orochimaru, mito found some sort of old scroll that uncle tobirama wrote about a new jutsu that she wants your thoughts on and besides, we have to meet sensei soooo early tomorrow for our mission and the training ground is closer from my house anyway, and you guys are just trying to get out of the bet we made and that's cheating y'know! and and and suddenly the senju compound just so happen to always have a few sets extra clothes and pyjamas that just so happened to be orochimaru and jiraiya's size and hey oro, raiya, look! it's got toads and snakes! and it matches mine! and the adults always just so happen to have two extra plates set at the table during meals, and the house just so happens to always be stocked up with both her teammate's favourite snacks, and orochimaru and jiraiya can suddenly enter the senju compound at any time of the day, with or without tsunade, and are greeted joyfully by the household's residents who had started nagging at them about training and chores and picking up after themselves, and mito is treating them like babies even though they're fully trained shinobis! and nawaki is being sooo annoying today and damn it, why isn't tsunade home yet? we agreed to train at 3!

(the three of them never quite notice that jiraiya or orochimaru's unannounced visits to the senju compound never trigger any of the seals that are activated by the presence of non-senju, non-family chakra in the compound. they never quite notice that the anbu guards at the front never give jiraiya and orochimaru any of the trouble or scrutiny that any visitors or guests to the senju compound are always subjected to, and the guards merely let them in with a slight bow of their heads, the same way they would to tsunade, or mito, or her parents.)

the only other times the sleepover isn't at tsunade's place is when there's a thunderstorm and orochimaru insists he needs to spend the night at his apartment because he tells them that last time the storm was this bad, lightning had struck a branch that smashed through his apartment that, if he wasn't already there and was even a little slower, would have destroyed the very few things his parents had left him that he so carefully keeps in a chest and he cannot ever take the risk that that would ever happen again he lost his power and his food went bad in his fridge, and c'mon tsu, you know oro not-so-secretly has a fear of thunder! don't you remember what happened last time at that mission where we were camping? we can't possibly let him spend the night alone at his house!

(later on when they're older, they'll come to find that jiraiya's new jonin apartment will become the new designated sleepover venue as jiraiya begins bringing back questionable sake from his missions that they were definitely too young to be having that he could not have possibly obtained that legally, and mito started banning them from playing card games at the senju compound when she noticed her granddaughter's tendency to lose her entire pay packet in a single game was becoming a bit too familiar to her... like a certain husband of hers' gambling habits that she had tried so hard to make sure wouldn't get passed on to the grandchild who the man had unwittingly taught said card games to at the age of 4. jiraiya started to call his apartment the degenerates' club then, much to the other two's dismay. though they couldn't quite protest when he correctly pointed out they were absolutely behaving like degenerates, even if princess tsunade and the leaf's once-in-a-generation prodigy felt like they were above those sort of disreputable behaviour.)

jiraiya and orochimaru fight tooth and nail that the massive forest that makes up the backyard of the compound, created by the shodaime himself of course, is the only reason they choose to hang out with tsunade at the senju compound, because princess tsunade (dammit oro stop calling me that!), the shodaime hokage seemed to have left so many fascinating things in this forest, there's so many secrets to discover. I don't think I've seen any of these species anywhere else in Konoha. I believe the secrets to some of his jutsu or techniques lie in this forest... oro you're such a nerd. and besides, Princess, the snakes here really seem to like oro for some reason and I think the toads are about to make me their king, I'm sure of it! and also, me and oro are the only people who don't find the fact you use the slime from those slugs in your potions or whatever absolutely disgusting, so we're the only friends you have to play in this gigantic forest with in the first place (it's not potions, it's a new medicinal gel I'm creating! and can you two just shut up? hide and seek is supposed to be a SILENT game and right now, you both really suck at it! I can literally locate you without even moving!) ...hey tsu, is mito-sama going to make those cookies she made last time again? she told me yesterday she would cause hiruzen-sensei told her we did a good job on our last mission.

the three of them knew everyone in Konoha had started calling them the 'Hokage's brats' behind their backs. but none of them realised that, particularly among the elders, this didn't seem to just be in reference to their sensei... there were other, more hushed whispers going around that if they had tried to listen to, would've sounded something like the adopted senjus... or lord first and second's legacies...

(these rumours may or may not have started when people started noticing tsunade's parents went from talking about their two children they adored, to their three rascals plus sweet little nawaki. or when mito kept comparing jiraiya's antics and personality to hashirama or orochimaru's brooding nature and hunger for knowledge was like tobirama's, or how tsunade's own hot temper and tenacity but also mischief was like her own's and the many Uzumakis that came before her, and that all three of them together balanced each other the way she, hashirama, and tobirama had. or when hiruzen constantly raves about his students and how much he sees his senseis in each of them and how the will of fire burns so brightly in them that he knew lord first and second would be extremely proud to see. in the end, though tsunade may have been the only one who shared a name with the senju founders, everybody couldn't help but see hashirama and tobirama and everything they had been and everything they had stood for in all three of the legendary sannin.)

[blackcat419]

Ranking the Conspirators and Avengers of Julius Cesar by fuckability

Happy 2,068th anniversary of Caesar’s assassination! To celebrate I’ll be ranking the main 3 conspirators who attacked Julius Ceasar while he was still alive and the men of the second triumvirate plus Agrippa on how fuckable they are to me. I’ll be judging them on attractiveness, conviction to the conspiracy, and how that conviction translates to them in bed. I will be using historical representation, modern reconstructions, and modern media depictions.

Side note: Roman’s viewed sexuality on a binary system from penetrator/dominant to penetrated/submissive. Basically, for a Roman man to be seen as manly he has to be the top in his sexual relationships with women or lower born men. So, a woman being on top, oral sex, or anything a little kinky would be seen as deviant.

7. Lepidus

During the assassination of Julius Caesar, Lepidus was Caesar’s right hand man. He had an army just outside of Rome when Caesar was assassinated. Despite starting off in a strong political position, Lepidus had little initiative in keeping power and was easily ousted by Anthony and Octavian. (Big L for loosing to Anthony). Lepidus did avoid Anthony’s fate as he was the head priest of Rome until his death in 13 BC, which means he lived for 14 years after Octavius became Emperor.

Attractiveness

Lepidus is just not that hot. His statue with that neck beard is almost as bad as Nero’s! The HBO Rome casting doesn’t stick very close to the bust but the actor doesn’t stand out as super good looking. 4/10

Conviction

Lepidus was very much a follower in his partner ship with Anthony and then in the Second triumvirate with Anthony and Octavius. Lepidus started out in a very strong position being the only one with an army and probably could have used said army to reestablish peace and take out the conspirators. His lack of conviction probably is the only thing that saved him from being murdered by Anthony or Octavius as he wasn’t a threat to either and was happy to play second fiddle. 2/10

In bed

Lepidus probably wasn’t that good to have in bed. He’d do what any Roman was expect to do, be on top so only missionary or doggy, not letting his partner take the lead, and no fingering or oral. He calls sex “coupling” because he thinks it sounds more posh compared to other words. He can get the job done but it won’t be a great experience. 2/10

Overall: 2.5/10

Boring, traditional, and not exciting at all.

6. Brutus

Brutus was one of the main leaders of the conspiracy to assassinate Julius Caesar. Brutus was a close friend to Caesar, possibly being seen as a surrogate son because Caesar was having a long affair with his mom and was advancing Brutus’s political career.

Attractiveness

Brutus is definitely a good looking guy, he has a very nice appealing face and the reconstruction still looks hot, although a bit too old for my 22 y/o butt. The actor for Brutus in HBO Rome looks similar enough to the bust. Overall good looking guy but doesn’t stand out much from a crowd. 7/10

Conviction

Brutus’s conviction to the conspiracy is weird. Brutus as a person was slow to act and often forced to react. He needed someone telling him what to do otherwise he fell apart. I believe his main motivation to the conspiracy was saving Julius Caesar from himself. He saw Caesar trying to position himself as a king and thought killing him would keep him from commuting that sin. The well being of the Republic and what it would take to rebuild it came second. This is seen with Brutus being opposed to killing Anthony along with Caesar which left Anthony in a strong political position to paint the conspirators as traitors to Caesar. 4/10

In bed

I think Brutus is very clueless in bed. He doesn’t know anything beyond simple penetration and will need to be taught how to actually please his partner. Unlike Lepidus, Brutus is willing to learn and improve but it’s an uphill battle where you have you drag him to the top. Want him to finger you? You have to literally guide his hand through the whole process and the second you stop leading him, he’s immediately poking at your belly button asking if this is the clit. He’ll walk out mid session because he’s so overwhelmed and just can’t seem to learn. Also unwilling to try anything that’s too radical. So no riding him, oral, or use of toys for this Roman boy. Also will call his mom afterwards to just chat. No aftercare cuddles! 1/10

Overall: 4/10

Cute to look at but total nightmare to fuck.

5. Octavius

Octavius was Caesar’s grandnephew (grandson of Caesar’s sister Julia) and was posthumously adopted by Caesar in his will. At just 19, Octavius became the richest man in Rome and maneuvered himself to becoming the emperor of Rome without ever needing to declare himself as such. Through his use of political power and favors, he became the de facto ruler of Rome while keeping the illusion of a republic. Big chaos is a ladder energy and Octavius is a climber

Attractiveness

Octavius just looks off to me. His eyes are too big, a little too far apart, his ears are too large. He looks weirdly young yet old, 13 going on 30. The actor from HBO Rome is definitely hotter than the reconstruction but he still has the baby face. Idk he’s just kind of creepy, probably that murderous aura in his eyes. 4/10

Conviction

Octavius was the most convicted to getting both justice for his adoptive father and fulfilling his father’s goal of being the king of Rome. Octavius was willing to ally with anyone to get power and would backstab anyone he needed to to get power. 9/10

In Bed

Octavius is definitely a stick in the mud when it comes to sex. He was married 3 times but only had one child with his second wife. He also tried to make Rome more “morally righteous” by outlawing adultery which was a very common practice for upper class Romans. He wants to only have sex in missionary or doggy and he needs to have a spirited political debate to get going. Stops mid act to write his thoughts down before returning. Very boring sex which needs a lot of exhausting debating of politics to actually get going. 1/10

Overall: 4.5/10

Ambitious guy but his first and only love is his pursuit of power.

4. Marcus Antonius

Marcus Antonius or Marc Antony was Julius Caesar’s right hand man until he displeased Caesar by being a total drunk and terrible at governing. At the time of Caesar’s death, Marc Antony was Caesar’s co consul.

Attractiveness

Antony is so hot. Big muscular man with dark curly hair? He’s just my type! I wish the hbo actor had curly hair but other than that he’s pretty good looking. I can see why Cleopatra kept him around, he’s such a hunk. 9/10

Conviction

Antony started off as very convicted and determined to avenge Caesar and gain power. He got the people of Rome on his side with his funeral speech. He was able to out maneuver Cicero and kill him. But despite all this, once Antony achieved the heights of his power, he kind of floundered. He spent his time partying instead of preparing for war with Octavius. While Ambitious, he looses his conviction once he has nothing to work towards. 5/10

In bed

Antony is definitely a freak in bed. He was married five times with 9 children between them! He was also in a lot of sexual scandals. As a youth, Cicero said he played wife to his friend Curio. This is probably political slander as Cicero hated Antony and calling someone the bottom in a gay relationship was a very big insult to Roman men as it meant being passive and thus, woman like. Antony knows what he’s doing and isn’t afraid to get experimental. He doesn’t care about Roman social norms when it comes to sex and so nothing is stopping him from pleasing his partner. During Antony’s climb to power, sex is less common and more focused on connection and escaping the world with his lover. But after Antony has come to the height of his power, sex becomes much more indulgent. The emotional connection with his partner becomes less important as he chases his own orgasm. Your pleasure feels like an afterthought instead of the main focus of sex. Definitely asks you if you think his dad would be proud of him but if you say yes he’ll say you obviously did not know his father. While 9/10 at the start, it turns to a 4/10 for a final score of 6.5/10

Overall: objectively 7/10, subjectively 5.5/10

When Antony has a goal to work towards, he is basically perfect but once he doesn’t have anyone or anything pushing him, he flounders and succumbs to his own vices. A little too much like myself.

3. Cassius Longinus

Cassius Longinus, the soldier in the conspirators turned on Caesar for possibly several reasons. Still, the one I like the most is him being upset he wasn’t advancing politically as fast as he thought he should.

Attractiveness

Cassius's statue and modern reconstruction show how a statue can make someone look a lot different. The lines around his mouth are pronounced in both versions but the reconstruction makes it look a lot more natural and not weird like with the statue. The HBO actor also has a similar face shape and details and he looks very good. 7/10

Conviction

This man is dedicated!! Not only did he want to take out Caesar but also Marc Antony and other Caesarean to make sure the conspirators were filling in the power vacuum. The only problem is that Cassius didn’t do this. He was convinced by Brutus not to take out more Caesareans, not taking Antony out when he was taking power, and not to send aid to Cicero during Octavius’s rise to power. In the end, Cassius was dedicated more to Brutus than the conspiracy (which supports my theory that Cassius loved Brutus in a romantic way but I digress) in the end, all conspiracy and no stabbies 6/10.

In Bed

Cassius is definitely an explorative lover but is still really strict about staying the dominate one. He also gets a little aggressive and possessive in bed easily. Definitely would be into bdsm with a focus on a command kink. He’s a soldier and likes it when his partner follows his orders. Definitely a good lay 7/10

Overall: 6.66/10

A head strong lover who’s conviction leads him to do crazy things. The type of guy who’d break my heart.

2. Decimus Brutus

Decius Brutus is the third forgotten member of the conspiracy. He is a distant cousin to Brutus. Decimus started out as a Caesarean and fought for Caesar in the Gallic wars which gained him favor with Caesar. Decimus was so close to Caesar that he was appointed to take over the transalpine Gaul Provence after Caesar. But Decimus became disillusioned with Caesar and saw him rising to become a tyrant and strives to stop that.

Attractiveness

Sadly, Decimus Brutus is over shadowed by Brutus and Cassius in many ways. We don’t have any busts (that I could find and confirmed were Decimus and not the other Brutus) and Wikipedia only has two coins with his face minted on them. Decimus doesn’t fair any better in modern media. He’s not in HBO’s Rome, Shakespeare mistakenly calls him Decius, and is mostly remembered in literature. Because of this lack of material to judge, I won’t be scoring him in this section n/a

Conviction

Despite Decimus usually being overlooked, forgotten, or merged with his cousin Brutus, was very instrumental to the conspiracy. Decimus was a Cesarean who fought for Caesar in Gaul and during the Civil war. Decimus became disillusioned with Caesar and decided that he needed to do something about it. Further more, Decimus convinced Caesar to attend the senate meeting on the Ides instead of staying home after his wife had a nightmare about his death. The place he faulted is after the assassination where he decided to leave and take up his position as Governor of transalpine Gaul (which Caesar appointed him to) instead of trying to keep power out of Antony’s hands. This decision led to him being killed and his head and hands sent back to Rome. 8/10, he came, he saw, he murdered but it just wasn’t enough

In Bed

Decimus definitely is adventurous in bed. He is willing to change his approach to pleasing his partner as his goal is always making sure they are satisfied. He will let you dominate him and will dominate you if you want. I also think he’d be into roleplay as he likes getting into character and pretending to be someone else, which he’s good at. He also needs a lot of cuddles after sex to make sure you feel loved. He’s a devoted lover and a cuddle bug 8/10

Overall: 8/10 while we have no clear surviving depictions of Decimus Brutus and how he’s often ignored in adaptations, he’s still a really interesting character who I like a lot because I love overlooked side characters.

1. Marcus Agrippa

Agrippa, childhood friend of Octavius, his loyal right hand man, builder of Rome, defender of Italia, and Octavius’s son in law? Yeah, Octavius had his best friend marry his daughter in a move that showed he wanted Agrippa to be the next emperor or guide the next emperor. But Agrippa passed before Octavius and left a massive hole in his succession plans.

Attractiveness

Agrippa is so hot. Not only is he physically attractive but he is emotionally attractive! This is the most loyal Roman man ever! Not once did he think about betraying his best friend to become emperor himself. Agrippa still supported Octavius even when he was sent away from the capitol in a sort of exile to fight. But I’m getting side tracked.

Agrippa’s busts portray this strong jawed masculine man who has these sad soulful eyes. Almost as if he can see the distraction his family would face. All his sons would die before becoming adults, his daughters used as marriage pounds, and his wife put into another unhappy marriage to her step bro. The HBO actor in Rome captures Agrippa’s look so well! Oh to be in a museum with this bust, I would kiss it! 10/10 no notes

Conviction

While Agrippa didn’t come into Rome until after Caesar was assassinated, he was dedicated to serving Octavius’ grind to power. No matter how many times Octavius pushed him aside or lost, Agrippa always came back. Even when he was essentially co-emperor with Augustus, he never pushed for having more power than Augustus. He was commuted to his boyfriend I mean friend 10/10

In Bed

This man fucks. He had 9 kids in his life and his last wife Julia, daughter of Augustus, was even pregnant when he died. Damn this man did not stop! Agrippa is a service dom. He loves seeing his partner being pleasured by him. He’s here to serve and give his all to his partner. 10/10

Overall: 10/10 one of the greatest historical men ever

[fearlessdevil17]

"Reunion"

Redraw of old drawing from 2021

Alright i caved.

I had the urge to draw something sad, so i went over to Zelda series to find something to draw there. because in case you didn't know, most of the Zelda games have such Bittersweet Endings. This franchise is an angst goldmine and i live for it.

Especially when you know the reason's. God i feel like crying already :'(

I would like to point out that Zelda has always had a huge impact on me, i think i was about 8 or 9 when i first discovered this amazing series. From being at a friends house and watching them play it, to having one of my own, Twilight Princess might have been my first ever adventure game. Every time i come back to visit this beloved franchise, it always remind's me as to why i love it so much. Even just thinking about the entire lore of and listening to the soundtracks makes me want to tear up. When i first picked up the Hyrule Historia book, i learned a lot as to where the stories from each game takes place and how they are connected. I remember being full on mind blown as i mostly focused on the Twilight Princess section as a kid, and discovered that the Golden Wolf you encounter in the game is none other then Link from Ocarina of Time.

And to this day, the Hero of Time's story still makes me bawl my eyes out, Especially when i relived that story back in 2020, & was quarantined. My Idol "MajorLink" posted his first episode of "A Hero's Purpose" at that time, and man, that was a roller coster of emotions for me. But my favourite part in that EP was when Link reunited with Skull Kid at least seven years after the event's of Majora's Mask, that part made me cry the most lol. A few weeks after the EP, It inspired me to make some artwork about the two forest dweller's, because i love their relationship, and how they parallel to one another. Link died with many regrets, and in order to ease them, he passes on his hidden skills to his descendent. While Skull kid carried his faults of when wearing Majora's Mask and sotted out to find redemption, and found it by becoming a Guardian of the Master Sword to honour his late friend. I always found it fun when encountering the two of them in Twilight Princess, and i wish they had an ending card in the credit's like the other NPC's.

But this drawing is what i can imagine tho.

Also upon hearing that EP 6 of "A Hero's Purpose" is nearly done gets me so excited, i honestly cannot wait to see what happens next :D

Here's the Old Version:

I also wanted to share this from the Twilight Princess Manga because i screamed after reading this part. Poor Skull Kid, he waited so long for Link to come back to the Temple of Time, only to mistake the Hero of Twilight for his long time friend after seeing the Triforce mark.

AAHHH!!! WHY MUST THIS SERIES HURT ME SO MUCH!?!?

Like it really said "what are happy endings?" XD

[hedgiwithapen]

This is an odd one but Cisco as The Flash for AU headcanons?👀

I think I've read a fic with that premise (I know I have, I just. cannot recall Details like. title or writer.) So if I Plagiarize that fic by mistake please no one yell at me ok? ok. 1. now this IS partially from the fic I think, i'm already being a criminal, but like. it was still Nora Allen who died, not Ms Ramon (who I have named Pilar and no comics contradict me so!) and Eobard is very like. well shit, gotta adjust the Plans. on the one hand, can kill barry whenever, don't need him, but on the other hand what if I do? what if he also becomes the flash at the correct time for him, and this thing with Cisco doesn't work out and then I am stuck? bro's playing 5d chess against himself and it's not helping. so barry lives, for now, and Dante sits in an ugly plastic chair waiting for cisco to wake up. 2 I think for Cisco to get struck by the lightning it goes like this. Ronnie and Cisco both go into the accelerator. Two of us can get the vents (or whatever Ronnie was doing faster than one.) and the thing is it almost works. it almost works. almost is never enough. someone-- maybe hartley, in this au, maybe a distraught caitlin, closes the door at the 2 minute mark. all that energy goes up and out-- and the lightning bolt strikes into the heart of star labs along that same path. when the fema crews etc go shifting through, they find no sign of Ronnie--firestorm-- and Cisco, lightning scars branching down his body, comatose. 3. Cisco picks his name right off the bat. Barry starts writing about him-- and not very positively (barry had the blog in e1 and the writers forgot but I did not) because he what if that's the guy who killed my mom?? Joe, Joe /look/. And Cisco is a little offended! goes to confront Barry (who tries and fails to hit him with the CCPD's second shittiest microscope) and goes hey, could you not?? first " the man in the lightning " is a damn mouthful, I'd rather something like, i dunno, Sonic Boom, or The Flash, and furthermore I was all of 8 years old when your mom died so uh stop it??? there is a very tense moment and then they're Friends Now. Cisco doesn't understand why Wells is so deeply against having a CCPD liason??? we need one? this guy already believes in the impossible and also someone killed his mom and we can help! what do you mean no ??? ok fiiiiine. 4. Eddie, not Joe, is the one who sees Cisco fight Mardon. Eddie is more than happy to be the new liason to star labs, this is Great!!! he can use this to win over Iris and Barry! (he has big crushes on them both. potentially he gets over these crushes and he dates Cisco, I think that'd be fun.) 5. Cisco obviously does not build the cold gun, so Snart never actually manages to steal anything in central city, but he sure does try! it really does not work out for him. kidnapping an engineer to build you a weapon would be one thing if you could. you know. hold on to said engineer. Cisco Simply Dips. 5, right? fuck it one more for funsies 6. while cisco's in the coma Caitlin keeps a tv going with every episode of Star Trek queued up. constant background noise. Dr. Wells can't decide if he's learned his lesson about fucking with time or if he's so sick of the music he's going to go back even further the second he gets a chance and make them compose something else.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

ranking every hyperfixation I can remember having

Fish: Since I was two years old up until like, middle school, I was obsessed with fish and sea life in general. I wanted to be a marine biologist for years. I still cry when I go to aquariums because seeing all the kids watching the fish reminds me of myself at that age. 8/10. Basic hyperfixation, but fish are still pretty cool

The American Flag: For some reason, I remember having an American flag phase in preschool. Not even having to do with America or American history or some other reason; I just thought the flag itself went hard. I can't tell you why. 2/10 because my patriotism levels are at an all time low as of now

Spin the Globe: Spin the Globe was the animated host of National Geographic's "Really Wild Animals," a series of wildlife documentaries for children. For some reason, I latched onto this guy HARD when I was in kindergarten.

I watched the ocean one every day, to the point where I memorized it and spent the whole class day writing down the script from memory (I don't understand how I didn't get my ADHD diagnosis until I was an adult). I rewatched the ocean documentary last year for some nostalgia, and I found out that Spin was REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING. I don't know what 5 year old me was thinking. 1/10.

The Wonder Pets: This was my favorite show when I was in, like, first grade. Unfortunately, that's right about the age where kids think it's cool to joke about brutally murdering children's show characters to prove how mature they are, so really liking a children's show was social suicide. The animation in Wonder Pets did slap tho. 4/10

Power Lab VBS Bible Buddies: Like I said, my hyperfixations were weird as a kid. I was raised Baptist Christian, and every year, my church held a VBS (Vacation Bible School), which for those who don't know, is basically a five-day Christian summer camp. Each day, they would hand out these figurines called "Bible Buddies," which each were supposed to represent a different lesson about the Bible. One year (I think I was in second grade?) the theme was "Power Lab," which had a science laboratory theme. These were the "Buddies" for that year:

I used to play with the figurines of these guys all the time. I can't tell you why, but I thought they were so cool. I also think I was enamored with the lightning bolt lady for some reason? Anyway I'm giving these guys a 4/10. Low score for lameness, but points for originality.

Word Girl: I was raised with PBS as a kid because I didn't have cable until maybe second grade, and I LOVED Word Girl. And I majored in English, so I think that explains a lot. The humor of that show still holds up, and I was so happy to see it made a comeback with fans last year. 8/10; would watch Word Girl again

The Future is Wild: When we finally got cable, my sister and I watched a lot of Discovery Kids. Our favorite show was The Future is Wild, which was a sort of speculative evolution sci-fi for children. These characters would go on adventures in the future and learn things about the animals that lived in environments that had been altered due to global events, and I really liked all the creatures, especially the "Ocean Phantom." Also looking back I think I may have had a crush on CG? Her annoying-ass voice and drama trying to balance working for her father vs. being loyal to her friends had me in a chokehold

6/10. Batshit insane show (I mean. it is in the title), but we love women in STEM

A Series of Unfortunate Events: This is the mother of all my more recent hyperfixations. Something was set in motion here that could not be reversed. 10/10 hyperfixation. this book series made me who I am

Guardians of Ga'Hoole: Along with Unfortunate Events, I was also into the ridiculously violent middle-grade animal xenofiction series in elementary school. I loved these books, and I was so disappointed when the movie came out because of all the ways it diverged from the plot. 8/10 for antifascism and owls, but points docked off because I could never get far in the DS game

Pokemon: So, my mom was pretty sheltering when I was really little, so there was no Pokemon or Harry Potter in the house until I was in 4th grade and she loosened up some. I'd wanted to get into Pokemon for a long time because everyone brought the cards to recess, and one of my friends gave me a holographic Mew card that she said was "really special." My mom threw it away, along with the rest of the cards my friend gave me, because she didn't like the words "psychic" or "evolution" on there lol. But once I was allowed to play my first Pokemon game (Heartgold), I got really into it. If my old Deviantart can be found somewhere in the dark, dark corners of the internet, it was filled with awful Pokemon MS paint drawings. Sometimes I still think about them. 7/10, because I still like Pokemon a lot, but docking points off because my Pokemon hyperfixation introduced me to the more unsavory parts of the internet at a young age.

Harry Potter: This one goes hand-in-hand with the Pokemon thing. Because Harry Potter was forbidden fruit in my household until my mom eventually decided it wasn't that bad, I got really into it when I was a kid. It was less about Harry Potter itself, but more about the fact that I could finally experience something that everyone else had been enjoying for so long. Obviously now that JK Rowling is, well, JK Rowling, I've distanced myself from Harry Potter, and have begun to think about it more critically, but just like everyone else that used to be into it, it did give me some fond memories. 1/10, with the 1 point going solely to Neil Cicierega.

My Little Pony: Got into it in fifth grade and watched it up until freshman year of high school. Not a lot to say about it to be honest; I liked some of the fan works well enough, and I don't have any strong feelings on it now. 5/10

Doctor Who: Oh god; who didn't have a Doctor Who phase in middle school? This was me at my most obnoxious. I constantly wore my 10th Doctor "Allons-y" shirt everywhere I could, and even insisted on wearing 3D glasses at times (I still have them). I quoted the damn show in every conversation (I used to be able to recite the "wibbly wobbly timey wimey" monologue word for word). I'm just glad I didn't get the Hot Topic TARDIS dress that I wanted for so long. I keep finding Doctor Who merch in my room, long after I thought I'd cleared it all out. To be clear, I don't hate Doctor Who, but it just brings up a lot of memories of the annoying kid I used to be in the past. 6.5/10

Celtic Woman: Celtic Woman was the first band I actually got really into. I'd been introduced to their music through Endless Ocean 2, and I would spend hours listening to them and watching their concert videos. Unfortunately, being a middle schooler and listening primarily to Celtic folk music and inspirational songs is not a very good combination, but it is satisfying to see all the people who probably would have bullied me back then dancing to "Teir Abhaile Riu" on TikTok. "Dulaman" was my favorite song, and I was tragically determined to sing it for a good while, despite not knowing any Irish Gaelic. I miss the original band, but their new stuff is all right. 7/10

The Legend of Zelda: More specifically, Skull Kid. My first Zelda game was Ocarina of Time, but Majora's Mask was really the peak of my hyperfixation. Skull Kid was easily my favorite character, and I once dressed up as him to school during Spirit Week. I also really liked Fierce Deity Link, and would roleplay both him and Skull Kid on DeviantArt. But the biggest impact my Zelda hyperfixation had on me was kickstarting my love of playing music. I took piano lessons for a short while and started out playing Zelda songs, and I was always listening to video game soundtracks. I switched over to violin later and also took up the ocarina (which I did get pretty serious about for a while. You won't see me playing video game songs anymore, but I still love to play.) 8/10 for the impact, with points taken off because I kept starting games but never finishing them

Lord of the Rings: Got really into Tolkien in high school. My best friend and I bonded over the books, and I also ended up reading the Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales. I didn't really get into the fandom because I was sort of "outgrowing" fandom culture at this time, but even though it's been a while, I still really like Tolkien. 9/10

The Aztec Empire: Did a report on the Aztec Empire in high school and was really interested it for a while, especially Aztec mythology and sacrificial rituals. 7/10 because I feel like the sacrifice stuff held my attention a lot more than it should have, and I feel like I absorbed a lot of misinformation about it

Medieval Europe: I have an on-and-off Medieval European history phase that comes and goes. Mainly, I'm interested in literature; I read Beowulf and the Canterbury Tales for fun in high school, and I was unfortunately very obnoxious about that. I did study Medieval history and Arthurian legends in college though, so that was neat. 7/10 because saying you're interested in Medieval history sometimes has to come with a disclaimer

Sweeney Todd: My favorite musical, and a big hyperfixation for a while. My best friend played Judge Turpin in high school, and we were both really into "Sweeney" to the point of permanently adopting lines from it into our regular conversations, even today. We even went to see it on Broadway together, which was awesome. 9/10, with one point off because I hate explaining to people why the Tim Burton version Sucks

Classical Music History: Specifically Shostakovich. I like a lot of other composers too, but this was a BIG phase. We're talking three years of research, writing long essays, Russian language and Soviet history classes, working for a Shostakovich journal, learning music, etc. I wasn't even doing this for a career; I just really, really liked Shostakovich a lot in college. I started getting into classical music in high school, but college was when I stopped being an idiot about it. 9/10, with a point taken off because I used to be an idiot about it

Sea Shanties: This falls into my wider love of folk music, but shanties and sea songs got me through college and working a minimum-wage job during the pandemic. 9/10; very fun to sing while in the car with friends

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari: Currently hyperfixated on classic films, but this one in general. You've seen my blog. 8/10, because it's a great movie with a lot to hyperfixate on, but points off because it's so hard to want to discuss this with people in public.

Tom Waits: Another current one. I listen to at least two full albums every day, usually "The Black Rider" (which could have its own spot on this list). Meeting a fellow Tom Waits fan in public is the best feeling ever, but telling someone that you like Tom Waits to someone who doesn't know who Tom Waits is sometimes means weird results. Like, someone asked me once if he was a new indie musician. I just want to know what they thought his music was like. 10/10 hyperfixation. no notes

Honorable mentions for smaller hyperfixations I've had over the years, in no particular chronological order:

Gila Monsters (9/10)

Klaus Nomi (9/10)

Hamilton (3/10)

Victorian literature (7/10)

Current events (0/10)

Japan's Torii Gate (5/10. I just thought it looked really cool when I was a kid)

Deaths on Mt. Everest (8/10)

The Oceangate disaster (3/10)

Parakeets (7/10)

House of Leaves (10/10)

Encanto (7.5/10)

My best friend (9/10. Great friend but unfortunately I misidentified it as a crush for many years)

My first ex (0/10)

W.I.T.C.H. (4/10)

This thing:

(Its name is Mathra and it's from an educational kids' game called ClueFinders. I pretended it was my friend when I was little and I drew it all the time, then got embarrassed when people asked what I was drawing)

Lord of the Flies (7/10)

Finding Nemo (6/10)

The Russian language (7/10)

Edgar Allan Poe (8/10)

Ivan Ivanovich Sollertinsky (8.5/10)

Nikolai Gogol (8/10)

In conclusion. it's weird to me that I think my most niche and bizarre hyperfixations were from when I was a really little kid lol

[trennoandgreggo]

If you don't want to read anything about jude and the transfer just skip it, thank you :)

I know no one asked me about it, but I need to get this off my heart. I don't want you to think that I hate him, but you have to understand that I am sad. I love this club so much and it wasn't easy losing on the last matchday and now also losing Jude. One of my favorite players ever. Third captain at only 19, role model, starboy. I was completely happy for every goal, assist, video, pic from him. He loved the club so much. The fans, squad and staff loved him. If you know my blog you know that I have nothing but love left for this boy. For me he was one of the hearts of the club. Yes we knew that that transfer will happen but it's still a hard thing to see it. Yes football is still business. It's a shame that the end of this journey wasn't positive. I hope that I will get the opportunity one day to see him play at the stadium.

I am happy and very proud of him. Real is a big club and a great opportunity for such a young player like him. He is a generational talent with the world on his feet but for me (I know I am probably overthinking) there are some doubts. And just let me explain you why I am feeling a little weird about this whole situation.

First of all the 6 years contract. I don't like the way big clubs trap young players with that. Also the squad situation with seven midfielders, yes two of them are old and probably on their last season. But I am a little scared that he will be benched often or can't play on his "correct" position. He is not a player for the bench and we saw that. Jude is a person that works under pressure and that's also why he choosed going there and improve himself. But I am critical about that, only one bad game, an injury or something and he will get all the hate. Because he was very expensive, high expectations and we know the fans in Spain can be a little shit when it comes to black players. And we all know it won't be easy for his mental health as well. Speaking of injuries. He had problems with his knee for the last two seasons so it will get a problem again if they don't change anything and help him with that, what is sooo sad and I hope it won't affect him or his career that much. Yes it would be better for his knee not playing that much games, but probably not good for his mental health. You know what I mean? It's difficult and of course we don't know madrids plan with him, so we have to wait. Of course he can learn so much from the squad and the manager, that not the point. I am still curious if it isn't too much for a 19, almost 20 year old boy.

In the end of the day I want him to be happy, win trophies and awards. It's a honor for him to play there and wear Zidanes number. Although I would still preferred the 22, because it is his number and will always be. If Jude seemed happy about it and that's what matters. But yes I am still unhappy since the announcement and of course it will hurt to see him play there etc at first and maybe even for a longer time. That's also the reason why I am not really posting any pics of him at the moment. I am still supporting him because he is an amazing player and person. I mean I ordered the special bvb jersey with his name and I will wear it with pride. But I think I need some time. Time to heal from the shock of losing the meisterschaft and jude (probably even more players in the next weeks/months) to be "completely back". It's a mixture of being fucking proud and hurt at the same time.

I am so proud that he was a part of the club and he will always be in our hearts 🖤💛

[romanarose]

Happy Valentine’s Day! 💖

How are the couples in the Leather and Lace universe celebrating? (or are they celebrating at all???)

Sorry this is so late! I hope you had a great day! Forgive my typing my laptop took a shit on me on v day so Im typing on an unfamiliar one lol

Warms my heart people still care about this universe!!!!

I have Leather and Lace Valentine’s Day special from last year!

As for the whole gang, let’s see….

This will be a brief sneak peek into the future, as canonically the universe is at abouuuttt June/julyish? There’s some creative liberty there😂

Previous day there was no Lore, and I think everyone wants lore ♥️ and by the time next v day comes, there will be no Alice and Ben will be happy with Cam so, welcome to the LaL universe Cameron!!

Mentions of addiction bulimia abuse smut

Santi and Laci

All the cutesy. Santi knows Lacina is a lover of cheesy romance so last year it was dinner. However now they have a baby. Doesn’t mean romance is dead however! After their strain over the summer Santi refuses to let Laci feel less than, esp after giving birth to Leto.

Leto is a few months old, I think approaching 6 months, and Laci has just started back at work. When she comes home, Santi has the whole dinner set up with candles and lights. Laci feels bad when she has to pause dinner to feed Leto but Santi thinks there’s nothing more beautiful than his wife breastfeeding his son. His heart is so full and happy, he couldn’t imagine a better day, even as he burps the tiny baby.

Of course, Laci isn't going to forget him either. Laci buys him the first bouquet of flowers he's gotten outside of his mom and Fatima's deaths. And, ofc, bc it's them, they make love that night. Laci is tired but they do their fav none intercourse activity and do hand stuff while making out. It always feels intimate and close.

Frankie and Jana

Just because they've been together more or less 15 years, doesn't mean Jana isn't slacking on making sure Frankie, and year and a half clear despite the stress of two children, feels loved. He's so good to her, going above and beyond during her pregnancy, finishing her doctorate, and handling both a newborn and a 3 year old. Jana was not the type of woman to congratulate a man on doing basic parenting, but christ he was amazing. Both were still on maternity leave, little Max being maybe 2 months old? Ish? Frankie would be going back to work part time soon just to keep a schedule, but would largely be a stay at home dad. She knew it wasn't easy and wanted to make sure he was so, so loved. So, under the guise of feeding Max, Jana sneaks out of the room and gets working on breakfast.

"Hi mommy, are you making me pancakes?" A sleepy Rosie toddled out in her doc McStuffins PJ's"

"Lo siento mija, did I wake you?"

"No." Rosie shook her head. Quería saludar a Max pero estaba durmiendo."

"Ah, I see. Would you like to help me cook for daddy?"

Rosie excitedly said yes, and after little bit they brought Frankie breakfast in bed. His eyes woke with a start, still protective of Jana even though she was past the 6 weeks of a c-section recovery.

"Baby, what are you-" he started to stand but as instructed Rosie ran up and pinned him down. Rosie explained the food they made while Jana got a crying Max. When all four were settled into bed, they eat together, Frankie feeding Jana as she breastfed Max. And don't you worry, once Max and Rose were down for a nap, Frankie gave Jana her Valentines Day gift. about 6 or 7 of them.

Will and Lorelei

Lore and Will had no issues giving Chloe away for a few hours.

Make no mistake, they adored their daughter, Lore loving to watch Chloe learn knew things about the world around her and Will was so wonderful when he played with her. Chloe would never have to wonder her worth the way Lorelei and Will did, they'd protect her the best they could from what they and their friends had endured.

No they loved Chloe Sen. However, they were comfortable taking time off. Lorelei had given birth in late July, and had a speedy recovery, making a mile run two weeks postpartum. This was not because of her eating issues (okay maybe baby weight was a small factor but she was working on it, okay?) more importantly, she needed to be ready to help run the farm for harvest season. Mrs. Miller would be watching Chloe Sen tonight for a few hours while Will took Lore out to dinner just as she had over harvest.

Lorelei had never been somewhere so fancy. She was dressed up in a dress Will said was "fit to attend the Oscar's with James Dean" never mind Dean's Oscar win was posthumous, but the compliment felt nice. Lorelei loved the traditional schtick, even if she told him she didn't need anything, that having a family was enough. Will, of course, would never let that slide. He also bought her jewelry, and he was the first man who didn't fumble that bag, getting her a classy tennis bracelet that matched her silvery dress. Lorelei's red dress was not fitting right with her breastfeeding boobs, and once thing about Lorelei Yen Giang, she did not where pink.

Lorelei's gift surprised Will. Not that Lorelei couldn't be sweet or tender; Lorelei always showed Will her love in her own love language, but gift giving was not one. She gives him a framed picture, something Laci had snapped at the beach day last summer. Lorelei wasn't showing in her swimsuit yet, Will had his shirt on. Despite the tension of those early months, Lorelei had forgotten how much she and Will still had fun. They were sitting on beach towels, Lorelei's head thrown back laughing, black hair cascading down. Will was grinning ear to ear.

"I love it, Lore..." Will says, smiling brightly.

If Lorelei didn't have make up on, she'd be blushing.

"I love you, William. I know there were so many reservations from my side early on but all these months later, you prove me wrong every single day. You are exactly the kind of man I saw you as, no tricks, no games."

Will kissed her tenderly. "And you, princess, blow me away every single day."

There was no sex that night, Chloe not having fallen asleep for her grandma nor a few hours after, keeping them both up. But Lorelei feel asleep with her loving boyfriends arms around her, and that was enough.

Benny and Cameron.

It was all so new. Being the off season, Ben and Cam were somewhere in Arizona, fucking the entire day away in Cam's van. Ben was still worried about the other ball dropping, for something in Cam to switch. For him to leave again or for him to hurt him like Alice. Things weren't easy peasy; Ben was still relapsing on bulimia and drinking, but the recovery periods were getting longer and Cam was always quick to assure him relapse is a normal part of recovery. Frankie quit coke cold turkey, but that's because he had a scare. it'd take Ben some time, but Cam would be there every step.

As soon as Cam woke after a long nap to Ben in the kitchenette, listening to him clanging around trying to cook he knew Ben was having a bad day. When he opened the curtain to find the living space/kitchen a massive mess, with food everywhere in Ben's attempt at cooking and a table set up of half-made crafts, he knew it was Ben's ADHD. He was trying to get Ben to warm up to the idea of trying meds again, but once step at a time.

"Baby?" Cam called, and Ben wiped around, eyes wide as he began sputtering.

"I'm sorry! Im sorry I was trying to make breakfast and also this craft I saw on printers and also this other one then the bacon was burning and-"

"Baby, can I hold you?"

Ben blinked at him, looking nervous. He wasn't used to people asking if they could touch him. "Oh. Um... no I don't think so."

Cam smiled, happy Ben felt comfortable enough, trusted him enough to communicate. "Thank you for telling me. Benny, does this have something to do with Valentine's Day?"

He hesitated but admitted yes. "I love you so goddamn much Cam and we've been on the road so I haven't hardly been aware the month let alone the year... Then all of a sudden I wake up and its the 14th and you've been just... just the fucking best. I don't want you to feel like I don't appreciate you..."

Cameron listened until he was sure Ben was done. "Would it help if we just... pretended today was another day? I swear, just you being here..."

"No! Cam let me do something nice for you."

"Something nice for me," He started slowly. "Is you being nice to yourself. Listen, my birthday is coming up, if you really want to, not saying you have to, but if you really want to you can go all out that day. But what I really, really want..." He reached out his hands, which Ben took. "Is to eat this burnt bacon, tape this half-made craft to my wall, and then get back into bed with the love of me life that I thought I'd never get to hold again. What do you think."

Ben paused, allowing himself to absorb Cam's words. Cam din't want anything from him outside of his love, fidelity, and company. He didn't want ben's money, didn't want him to change or hide self, and although they certainly had fantastic sex, if Ben wasn't feeling it he could say no, but Cam usually picked up on it before hand.

"Okay, yeah, that sounds good..."

"Good." Cam smiled and reached behind Ben. "I like my bacon extra crispy."

*******

Happy v day!!!!

tagging a few peeps who still interact with the all universe

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @missdictatorme @ivystoryweaver @pimosworld @miraclesabound @poeedameronn@itspdameronthings @whatthefishh