#i think i might try to finish this run before my new computer gets here and then mod it and replay.

[arlathen]

puka shell necklace girldad says my new baby is shipping this weekend and i cannot WAIT to see how well it runs bg3.

[yaespook]

Run 4 - In Progress.

✧ Room Content: Dom! GN! Reader x Yan! Sub! Android! Wanderer, no gendered terms used for reader, no actual penetration, unhealthy obsessive and possessive relationship from Wanderer, memory manipulation. Leave a note if anything was missed out. ✧ Retrieved Notes: If possible, use the InteractiveFics extension to change the phrase “My name” (without the quotation marks) to the name given to your Wanderer.

There’s an unfamiliar android sitting atop your worktable.

You must have picked him up two or three weeks ago, when he was still worse for wear. In your memory, he was in pretty bad shape when the two of you first met, his main panel wrenched open leaving his circuitry a mess and rough scrapes all over his superficial layer.

Now, with your constant repairs, he’s been more lively, tailing you around the house as you go about your day. While fussing about, dusting off a muzzle laying on a fur pelt, you sense a presence lingering outside your room.

"You know, I don't recall androids being quite so clingy." In return, you get a light huff from behind the door frame. 

"And you’ve come across other androids? I didn’t know you run a junkyard here,” the eye roll in his tone is audible.

His feet pad into the room and his gaze hones in on the clerical collar placed on a nearby shelf, glaring at it. Clicking his tongue, he crosses his hands on his chest.

“Whatever, what you do is mostly up to you anyway. Do you think you’re almost done cleaning? I think there’s an internal problem again, I’ll wait for you at the worktable,” the android saunters off nonchalantly, throwing you a light wave over his shoulder.

Sighing, you quickly finish up your task at hand before complying to his request, briskly making your way over to the worktable where he's already perched smugly on, his gaze expectant. 

You easily go through the rehearsed motions of plugging him up to your computer, your muscle memory kicking in as you boot up the required softwares before gingerly prying the main panel located on the front of his torso to gain access to his internal workings. Over time, you've gradually figured out the parts that make up the android sitting before you, growing used to the sight of the lengths of wiring and cables running throughout his body, the faint low mechanical whirring of motors and cooling systems. 

Most importantly, you now understand how sensitive his central core is. Nestled securely in a latched transparent casing, his core is what powers and sustains him. It emits a constant turquoise light and is also reflected in the glowing markings that lay beneath his synthetic skin that occasionally activate. (Although, you haven't quite gotten an answer for what makes them light up yet.) 

“So what's your problem today?” You ask, tearing your eyes away from him as you go over to your computer to check if any bugs have been identified.

“I think that cable all the way at the back came undone and got tangled with the rest.” 

You shoot him a pointed look, “Again? Didn’t we just fix that same cable last week?” Shifting your chair so you’re seated before him, poised to conduct your repairs, you make a passing remark, “Maybe taking you to another mechanic might be the better choice, get everything checked out, you know?”

How long have you kept at your task of finally fixing him up to tiptop condition? It’s almost daily when he reports back to you with a new disconnected wire or another loose joint somewhere on him. Diligently, you’ve been trying to repair him but the android is like a never-ending to-do list. And it’s only natural to be concerned if the constant damage stems from a more serious underlying issue that you haven’t managed to discover. The only next logical step would be to get another pair of eyes to help discern the root cause in case anything takes a turn for the worse.

But the reaction you get from him is one unexpected. His head snaps to face you, a scowl evident on his face. 

“So you’re handing me off like an unfinished project to someone else now?”

You know how snippy he can get however, this is on a different level from his previous behaviour. Maybe something left over from the days before you found him. It’ll be a good idea to look into his past logs to diagnose any present problems, you make a mental note of it.

“I’m just worried for you, that’s all. What if there’s an urgent issue I can’t fix alone? And we both know I can’t leave you as is.”

His expression mellows to an annoyed pout, looking away as his core glows faintly along with the patterns under his skin, he mumbles, “I’ll be fine.” (“I just need you.”) (“I'm the only one for you.”) (“No one else deserves you.”)

He allows you to work without another complaint, silently watching as your hands venture into his chest, a focused air to you while you look for the problematic cable. He senses your touch when you make contact with it, sucking in a sharp breath as you grip it between your fingers, twisting it around to free it from the surrounding wires before you finally connect and plug it into its rightful place. 

“That’s it for your cable issue. Anything else?” He quickly shakes his head.

Giving it a few light cursory pulls to make sure it’s finally secured, (if you weren’t mistaken, his core brightened in time with your tugs), you spare the rest of his parts one last look over. Then, shutting the panel, you unplug him from the computer.

Immediately, he scampers off the worktable with a clipped “thank you” and runs into his room. You hear the door to his room close before its lock clicks. 

The next few days prove to be better, the repair requests for any troubles that seem to have cropped up overnight growing more and more infrequent. Perhaps, bit by bit, the end of the repairs start to come into sight. 

Although, you have noted that his internal temperatures have been hiking recently whenever you have his chest panel open to patch him up. 

This time, you have him lying on the worktable on his back to access the further areas in him. He’s positioned facing upwards but his eyes are darting everywhere, unable to meet your gaze. Once again, the programme open on your computer screen shows how his temperatures are quickly rising even though there are no obvious reasons for such a sudden change. It records the recurrence into its troubleshooting log like before, more times than you can remember.

He’s panting lightly, the android’s chest moving up and down as your ears pick up the sound of his inner fans whir louder, his pre-programmed functions activating to try to cool him down. With no clue as to what could cause this issue, you reach in to look for a fault. Yet, the more you poke and prod around, the higher the warmth within him rises. 

Left with more questions than answers, you turn to his core for a closer look. When your fingers brush against the transparent casing, a moan slips out from him, and instantly his head whips to look at you dumbfounded.

An artificial blush takes over his face, a low pink glow blooming from beneath the synthetic layer. A beat passes before he cracks his lips apart, voicebox working as he pleads.

“...Again.”

Gently, you let your fingertips dance over the clasp hinging the casing shut and his response is instant. A shudder rolls through him, as real as it can be, and a shaky exhale leaves him. The android’s back arches up slightly, hastily chasing after your touch when you remove your hand.

Your caress returns when your hand dips deeper into his circuitry, where you hook two fingers underneath his thicker cables, attentively stroking them between your thumb and fingers, before tugging on them forcefully enough to elicit a reaction from him. 

His eyes fly open at your ministrations, a greed for more overtaking his processors. You’ve always been so gentle with him when he’s opened up for you, when you have access to the deepest parts of him, when he’s at his most vulnerable. So, to have you toy around with him, show him the indulgence of human flesh, can you really fault him for falling for you?

The tips of your fingers ghost along the length of his metal spine, and the android keens from under you.

“Please, more, I can take it!”

Taking his cue, your hand encircles his spine, grinding the heel of your palm against the ridges of the sensitive metal elements as you pump up and down. 

“Sss- so good! Hah…!” He can’t control how he behaves when you treat him so well, like he’s the only one worthy of your attention. He shakes under your touch, trembling as the addictive pleasure overrides his programmed commands.

“No more blubbering, just focus on me.” Your other hand goes to cup his chin, and obediently, he parts his lips for you, allowing you to slip your thumb into his mouth. You can feel his tongue work and when you press down, he jolts suddenly. A gag reflex? In an android? How amusing.

When you stop stroking him, he whines pitifully, muffled moans and begging for you to continue but his complaints stop when he feels you unlatch the lid of his core casing.

“Would you let me?” And the flurry of nods from him confirms his enthusiasm.

With bated breath, he counts the seconds before you make contact with his core. And when he senses your caress on his glowing core in his exposed chest cavity, he breathes out a gasp, as if he requires the intake of air. None of this is written into the basis of his behaviour, not fed into the dataset that makes up how he’s supposed to act, so everything he feels for you must be real.

His eyes go unfocused as his neural network is flooded with the raw pleasure of being enveloped with love and lust down to his literal core. Desire burns within him, evident from the fans whirring even louder than before to bring down his temperatures. It’s just so much for the android’s computations to handle. Broken moans leave him as he tries to vocalise his love for you (as best as he can with his thumb in your mouth). 

And when you press a kiss to his unprotected core, his vision whites out.

Eyes wrenched shut, his whole mechanical body jerks upwards, back arching off the worktable as his body propels himself to sit up, his limbs trying to ensnare you in his embrace, to keep you with him as long as he can. Every command in his system is overwritten to hone in on all the sensations of you on him, your touch, your warmth.

The patterns under his skin glow with a pulse, akin to a human’s heartbeat and when his eyes open again, glimmering faux tears roll down his face. His chest heaves as you close the distance between the two of you, cupping his face with both your hands and kissing his tears away.

The android breaks the intimate silence as he quietly asks you, “Can you give me a name?”

When you whisper a name into his ear, he breaks into sobs in your hands.

The days pass by, uneventful, and the time for a final cursory check before deeming him fully repaired comes. He’s poised on the worktable like any other previous session, a bored expression on his face as you flit back and forth between him and the software on your computer.

“You really are a clingy case,” you say and get a huff in return, “But a welcome one.”

Remembering your mental note from before about accessing his past logs, you access it from your computer, pulling up the window with his stored recorded data. The log operates in the background constantly, one of the built-in functions of the android and a quick glance over just to make sure everything is in order should do.

However, the logs prove to be worrying in a completely different way.

[Log: Day 10 - Run 1 - Failed. Werewolf. They’re with that mangy mutt. I don’t know what they see in him. I still remember the care they showed me. There’s always the next run.]

[Log: Day 20 - Run 2 - Failed. It seems I’m too late this time around. That vile selkie captured them first. How irritating. I need to stop hesitating. It’s my love on the line after all.]

[Log: Day 30 - Run 3 - Failed. Incubus. That damn priest and incubus. I can feel my temper reaching its breaking point.]

[Log: Day ??? - Run 4 - In progress. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.]

Your eyes rake across a multitude of grainy snapshots of yourself, all with different people that you can’t find the ability to recall, your mind pounding from the discovery. 

He’s gazing expectantly when you look back up at him from the screen. A grin twists its way across his face, canines glinting under the dizzying harsh lighting.

“So now you’ve seen how much I love you, even if you don’t remember it.” There’s a sick obsession dripping in his tone, an uncanny level of emotion that androids normally shouldn’t be able to replicate, one that sends a heavy uneasiness through your whole being, one that roots you to the ground. 

When he doesn’t get the adoring reaction from you he expects, the proud expression on his face falls instantly. 

He’s despondent, despairing as he tears the connecting cables off of him, launching himself off the worktable, lunging across for you, frenzied, pure scorching mania surging through him. 

“You… even after all these runs. You’ve always given me the same thing. My name. I thought this time- You-” 

Voice shaky, “It’s a shame this run didn’t work out either.” 

He steels himself, hand outstretched, “No matter.”

You blink.

There’s an unfamiliar android sitting atop your worktable.

Thank you kindly for reading. Consider supporting on kofi if you enjoyed this or visit the other doors.

[ladycaramelswirl]

I love you more

Ahhh it’s finally done! This is my first ever fic so it’s a little clunky, but I hope you like it💕

Summary: BAU reader and Aaron are married. What happens when she wakes up in a different past than the one she knows?

A/N: for the sake of the story Aaron and Haley get divorced some time in early S2. Reader joins in S3 and her and Aaron start dating during beginning S4. If anyone’s curious it’s a friends to lovers where he’s already in love with her before they start dating. I might write that too if anyone’s interested. sorry if there’s any typos 🙇‍♀️ (girl dad Aaron inspired by all the Ellie Hotchner writing by @ssahotchnerr)

Tags: fluff, domestic fluff, ANGST lol, no happy ending (TBD I may write a part 2), no use of Y/N. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation and it’s very evident here. Don’t come for me. SFW.

(Feel free to stop reading at the point where they fall asleep if you don’t want to read angst).

———————————————

Sunlight streams into the room, waking you up. You turn to the side to see Aaron already up, smiling. 

“Good morning, Mrs. Hotchner.”

You giggle. 

“Good morning, husband.”

His smile widens and he gives you a small kiss. It had been a little joke between you both on the day after your wedding, but it had stuck, becoming a part of your routine every morning. You both love it because it reminds each of you how happy you were on your wedding day, and how much you appreciate being in each others life. It’s been a year and a half since your wedding, and almost 4 years since you started dating. You move around each other seamlessly, every step of your morning routine in sync. You both brush your teeth and then he makes coffee while you make breakfast. Jack comes down the stairs and you all eat together. After breakfast, he will wash the dishes as you make sure Jack has everything for school. Today though, as you meet Aaron’s eyes over your coffee, you know he’s thinking of your last case, a family annihilator who targeted families as they ate together. You both had trouble sleeping after coming home last night, but as he squeezes your hand, you are profoundly grateful for the simple gift of being able to drink coffee in the morning with the love of your life. 

“I love you”, you whisper, not wanting to alert Jack to why you both look a little sad.

“I love you too”, he whispers back.

“I love you the most!”, Jack shouts and you both smile. The two of them argue about how each of you loves the other more as you finish breakfast. Aaron picks up Jack and you all end up in a big giggly hug. 

“How about we all agree that all of us love each other the most?”, he asks. Jack ponders for a moment.

“Okay”, he nods. “If you love me can I have ice cream?”

You burst into laughter as Aaron frowns, trying to hide his smile.

“Nice try buddy, but no ice cream before school.”

Jack pouts as you tell him to get his bag for school, but the ice cream is forgotten as you ask him some questions about his friends that he enthusiastically answers. He continues chattering on until he’s dropped off at school.

“Bye!”, he yells before running out of the car to meet his friends.

——

You give each other a quick kiss while still in the Quantico parking lot. You’ve both agreed to keep things professional at work, including a rule about no PDA in the office. But yesterday’s case must have rattled Aaron more than you thought because he grabs your hand in the elevator and squeezes three times. I love you. You squeeze three times back, which is how the elevator opens to you holding hands smiling as you look into each others eyes. You hear a squeal and both startle, dropping your hands, but not before Penelope takes a photo. 

“I am making this your new computer background! I have a criminally small number of photos with you two. You’re so professional all the time, you wouldn’t even know that you’re together”, she pouts.

“Penelope you took like a hundred photos at our wedding”, you laugh.

“And there are rules about workplace conduct”, Aaron reminds, which causes her to blush. Derek walks past you three to whisk Penelope away.

“Leave mom and dad alone”, he whispers loudly while grinning, clearly meaning to let you both hear the office nickname for you two. You roll your eyes at him and smile at Aaron before heading to your desk, greeting the others good morning. You barely have a chance to sit down before JJ calls you all into the conference room for a briefing on a new case. You grab your go bag and head to the jet. The local police department has called you late and the unsub’s already starting to devolve, making mistakes everywhere and leading you all to finding him within a couple of hours after landing. He gets shot while getting apprehended which means there’s no interrogation either. You all pile back onto the jet, the pilot letting you know that you’ll be back at Quantico in an hour. It feels wrong to go home on time. For all that death to be part of a regular 9 to 5 work day. Catching the unsub is supposed to mean a success, but it’s tense on the jet. You’re still reeling at the attitude of the local police department. They were insistent to do what they could to keep the BAU off the case and made it clear you had only invited because they were forced to by the mayor. You wonder if they had called sooner, that maybe some of the victims would still be alive. If he wouldn’t have killed his last victim when the police had ignored your profile and approached him with force instead of sympathy as you had recommended. You’re pretty sure everyone on the plane is thinking it too. You lift your arm into the air and gently nudge Aaron’s up too. Spencer catches your eye and his arm is also already halfway up, knowing exactly what’s coming.

“Last one with their hand in the air buys the first round tonight”, you say and immediately everyone’s hands shoot up except Rossi, who looks mildly annoyed.

“I would have bought a round for everyone anyway”, he shrugs.

Emily scoffs. “Grandpa’s a sore loser”, she says under her breath which causes you all to crack up. The air immediately feels lighter and everyone starts joking again, debating the fairness of your hands up game. You grab Garcia before leaving Quantico and all head to the bar down the street. Her bubbly chatter makes everyone laugh and you can’t help but feel pleased. The job was tough mentally, and you always tried to make sure the team was doing well. Satisfied that everyone was cheerful again, you decide to leave after the first round, but Aaron pulls you to the dance floor before you can even order, which gets you grins from other members of the team. You laugh as he spins you around.

“Damn Hotch got moves”, Derek shouts.

“If my wife looked like that I’d beg her to dance with me too”, Emily smirks.

You ignore their teasing, swaying in Aaron’s arms and enjoying the scent of him mixed with his cologne and laundry detergent. It smells like home. He kisses your forehead, finding comfort in the smell of your shampoo, and the soothing feeling of your body against his. 

“Everyone’s in a better mood because of you. Thank you for doing this”, he says into your hair.

You shrug. “Everyone needed this, including me. It’s not a big deal, I like it when everyone’s happy. It makes me happy.”

He gazes at you in rapture before leaning down to take your lips with his, kissing you breathless. You’re a little dazed when you both pull apart.

“What was that for Mr. Hotchner?”, you grin. 

You think you could get drunk on the way he looks at you.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you so much”, he says softly.

You feel a little prickle of tears. “I love you too. I don’t know what I’d do without you either, so you’re stuck with me forever”, you joke, causing him to smile.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

He leaves a kiss on your neck and you breathe out a sigh.

“Want to get out of here?”

“Trying to take advantage of me Mrs. Hotchner?”, he teases.

“Yes”, you giggle.

“Thank God”, he grins, pulling you towards the door.

“We’re going home!”, you wave at everyone who waves back, giving you both knowing smirks.

“Use protection!”, Emily yells, which earns her an eye roll from you. 

You walk over to your car and Aaron puts an arm around your waist.

“A little late for that”, he smiles.

You nudge his shoulder. “Did you only dance with me so I wouldn’t have to explain why I couldn’t drink?”

He gives you a little smile. “I danced with you because you’re beautiful. The fact that you asked me to help you keep it a secret was a fun bonus”.

The second you had seen the pregnancy stick change colour, Aaron had covered you in kisses. You were both elated. But telling people you were pregnant meant you would have to sit out from field work for a while and you loved your job. Aaron had been against it at first, worried about your safety, but you had come to an agreement that you would stop when you were ready, as long as you promised to take it easy. So you were keeping it a secret. But you both wanted to tell people.

“I think we should tell them soon”, you say. “At the rate she’s growing, people are going to figure it out anyway”

Aaron looks at you excitedly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah”.

He interlaces his fingers with yours and you drive home with you hands in each others.

When you get home you thank Jessica for watching Jack. He’s excited that you’re both home early enough to tuck him into bed, but he’s tired and his eyes are fighting to stay open.

“Good night Jack, I love you”, you whisper, kissing his forehead.

“I love you mommy”, he mumbles.

Then he hugs your stomach.

“I love you, baby”, he says.

You and Aaron melt, trying not to tear up. You were worried when you had first found out about your pregnancy, not wanting Jack to feel left out, but he had been so excited at the thought of having a sibling. After finding out that the baby could hear him, he had been chatting to her all the time. He was going to be a great big brother.

“I love you too daddy”, he says.

Aaron chuckles. “Love you buddy. Time to sleep.”

Jack nods off and you both quietly tiptoe out of his room. 

You get into bed and Aaron immediately puts him arms around you, pulling you to him. 

“How come he says I love you to you and the baby before me?”, he teases, rubbing his hand on your back.

“I guess he loves us more”, you joke. Aaron moves around so his face is near your stomach. 

“Hey sweetheart, your mom and Jack are teaming up against me. I’ll give you anything you want so promise me you’ll say Dad first instead of Mom or Jack when you come out okay?”

You smack his arm lightly.

“Stop bribing our daughter. And she’s going to say Mom first, right honey?”

Aaron smiles into your pyjamas. “It’s okay. I understand. I love your mom the most too”.

You pull him back up and rest your head on his shoulder.

“I can’t wait to meet her”, you whisper.

“If she’s anything like you, she’s going to be perfect”, he says.

“I hope she’s like you”, you tell him sincerely. You’d be lucky if your daughter was anything like her father. “I love you”.

You lie in each others arms, the last words you hear before falling asleep are a murmur of ‘I love you more’.

————————————

You wake up to the smell of pancakes. You smile, remembering you had told Aaron in the car last night that you wanted to eat some. You try to blink the fatigue out of your eyes and move towards the door. You recall a dream about him from last night that comes to you in flashes. It’s fuzzy, and you’re sleepy, which is why you don’t notice anything wrong until you step out and see the kitchen. Not your kitchen. And not Aaron in it. A smiling face startles you awake.

“Emily?”

“You woke up! I made pancakes, come have some”.

You stare at her. “When did I get here?”

She laughs. “You’ve been living here for like 2 weeks.”

What? “Seriously, how did I get here?”.

Her smile fades at the confusion on your face.

“You don’t remember?”

You shake your head and her brows immediately furrow in concern.

“You told me you were cleared for a concussion”, she mutters, sounding a little angry.

“Concussion?”

She forces you to sit down, frantically turning off the stove and grabbing you both coats. “Ok, we’re going to the hospital. I can’t believe you lied to me.” 

Lied? What the hell was going on?

“What? How would I have a concussion? Why am I in your apartment? Where’s Aaron?”, you ask, slightly panicked at this point.

Your words make her go still. She stares at you for a moment, but before you can say anything else, she grabs her car keys and starts pushing you out the door. She promises to explain later and, despite your protests, manages to get you in the car. She sets up the GPS and starts driving.

“Okay how much do you remember?”, she asks worriedly.

“I remember we went for drinks last night after the case, then we went home and went to bed. Why am I in your apartment? Why would I have a concussion?”.

She grips the steering wheel a little tighter and speeds up. You grip your seatbelt.

“Oh my God, Emily slow down”, you yelp.

She ignores you and pulls into the hospital parking lot, dragging you towards the ER. She flashes her badge at a nurse.

“Emily Prentiss, FBI.” She gestures at you. “She’s an agent. She hit her head yesterday and now she’s having memory problems. I think she has a concussion.” 

The nurse nods and asks you both to wait a moment. She gives you a form to fill out and Emily takes it. You look at her, exasperated.

“What’s going on?”

She looks tired. “We didn’t go out for drinks yesterday. You hit your head taking down an unsub. You told me you were cleared by the EMT, and you’ve been staying at my apartment since…”, she looks pained. “… for about 2 weeks because you’ve been a little… reckless lately.”

“Reckless?” If anything you’ve been more careful because you’re scared you might hurt the baby. “I’m not reckless.”

Emily stares at you in disbelief.

“You walked into a dangerous situation without backup. Look, I know things have been hard with Hotch-“

“What?” Why would things be hard with Aaron? “Aaron knows I wouldn’t do anything unnecessarily”, you tell her. 

Her eyes cloud in sympathy and you stare back, confused. Ok, well Aaron would be upset if you had stormed in without backup. But he knew you were capable and even mad, would still respect your decision. Right? You’re about to start interrogating her for answers when a voice interrupts you.

“Emily?”

You look up and all the blood drains from your face. You’re thankful you’re sitting down because you’re certain you would have fallen over. Emily squeezes your hand before standing up and greeting the owner of the voice.

“Hi, Haley, what are you doing here?”

You try not to look like you were seeing a ghost. Standing in front of you was a woman that was supposed to be dead, except she was very much alive. And also staring at you. She gives you a wave. Your brain somehow sends a signal to your arm to do the same.

“I just finished a checkup. I’m about to leave”, she says.

The two chat a little before Haley is called away by a nurse. You stare at the back of her head until she disappears. 

“You okay?”, Emily asks quietly.

You don’t even know how to answer. You glance down at the form Emily had left on her seat and blanch at the numbers on the top.

“Emily, what day is it?”

She looks at you worried.

“Wednesday.”

“The date. The full date”, you croak.

“Wednesday, 16th December 2009.”

You grip the chair. No. It was 2012. 16th December 2012.

“What day do you think it is?”, she asks softly. 

 You close your eyes and take a deep breath. It’s a prank. Some kind of prank. But you open your eyes and Emily is still staring at you. And suddenly your dream from last night comes back to you. You in Aaron’s driveway picking up some pictures from his old house to use for a surprise. Seeing Foyet walk in with Haley and Jack. Sneaking into the house and waiting for Jack to leave and shooting Foyet. Haley screaming as his blood splattered all over her. You silent as you watch the life leave his eyes. Aaron running in, hugging Jack and consoling Haley as she cried. Them leaving together. Him being on leave to spend time with them and you giving him space. Him bumping into you at a coffee shop after not speaking to you for 3 weeks. You running into the building with a deranged unsub without backup a few hours later. You feel it all like you were there. Not a dream, but memories. Each one filling you with agony and dread. You feel sick. You need to see Aaron.

“I have to go”, you tell Emily. She protests, telling you you need to get checked out, but she can tell from the haunted look in your eyes that you remember everything now. She nods, helping you to catch a taxi. You’re on autopilot as you give the driver the address to Aaron’s old apartment. The ride is a blur and you barely remember being in the elevator or knocking his door. You’re in a haze until he opens the door. The immediate guilt in his eyes and the sinking feeling in your stomach is sickeningly real.

“I need to talk to you”, you say, your voice shaking. He stares at you before opening the door wider, letting you in. You move towards the sofa but neither of you sit. Silence stretches out between the two of you. You need to say something. You need him to tell you this isn’t real. But you don’t know how to behave, how to be around this version of him that isn’t your husband. What do you say to the man who doesn’t know he was the father of a child that doesn’t even exist? He runs a hand through his hair and looks down at his feet. You continue to stare at the empty space beside his head. Before you had moved into your house, there used to be a picture hanging there of you, him and Jack. Now it’s just a blank wall. He breaks the silence first.

“They’ve offered me retirement.”

Your Aaron hadn’t told you like this. He had told you he was coming back. You suppose there’s only one reason he would tell you.

“You’re going to take it.”

It’s supposed to be a question, but you know him too well.

“I have to. For them.”

Every moment of what was supposed to be the rest of your life dies before your eyes. You’ll never have your sleepy good mornings. Never hear him call you his wife, never get married. Never hear Jack calling you mom, never sit down and eat with your family. They weren’t your family anymore, you remember. They were Haley’s. You want to scream. At the universe? At him?

He just thinks he’s breaking up with his girlfriend, you tell yourself. That the Aaron in front of you has barely even been in love with you for a year. He doesn’t know that he has any memories of your life together to miss. But he must see the devastation in your face because you see the shame etched in his. You watch his heart breaking at the thought of hurting you. As he sheds a tear, you instinctively bring your hand to his cheek, wiping it away with your thumb. He rests his forehead on your shoulder and you move your hand to the back of his head.

“I don’t know what to do”, he says, his voice breaking.

You feel your own tears fall down your face, warm. He doesn’t see them.

“You do”, you whisper back.

You know. That he loves Haley, but he doesn’t want to hurt you. That he loves you, but he wants to be a good father more. That their marriage had really only ended because of his job. You also know that you refuse to be with him if he’s in love with someone else. That you won’t be the reason Jack can’t have both his parents happily married under one roof. That Aaron deserves happiness with the love of his life, even if it’s not you. So you take a step towards him and allow yourself the comfort of being held by him one last time. You bury your face into his neck, and breathe him in. The feeling of his arms wrapped around you, and his smell, the two things that were once your greatest solace would now be the two things you would always wish you could forget. You want to stay here forever, to pretend that this was still the Aaron who loved you. But you put your hands on his chest, pushing your face away from the crook of his neck to look at him. You wonder if he remembers your life together - the future you would have had. If he knows there is a girl neither of you will ever meet. But he doesn’t look at you the way he used to. You feel, with a mournful certainty, that those memories are yours to die with. He presses his lips together, trying to blink his tears away. They fall anyway. You smile at the man who isn’t yours anymore.

“You love her”.

His whole body hurts at the certainty in your tone. Its agonising finality.

“I’m sorry”, he murmurs. You wonder what it means that you hope he doesn’t blame himself for your heart breaking. To you it just feels like pain.

“I know”. 

Your lips touch his in a farewell, the ghosts of a thousand kisses never to be dying between them. The words exchanged between two lovers from a lifetime ago feel heavy on your tongue. He would never hear you say them and you would never hear it back.

I love you.

“Goodbye, Aaron”.

——————

fin.

thank you for reading :)

masterlist

[coming-lieutenant]

Hello!

Got another idea about younger detective and how Hank can't believe she likes him, so he thinks she spends time with them for Connor, until she's fed up with all of this and kisses him. Maybe in front of DPD 👀.

Thanks Queen/King/any other royality you might identifies with 💖😌

Get a Fucking Clue

A/N: Sorry for the delay 😭 my life literally imploded over the last week and a half and I finally got the ship back on course. I hope you enjoy it!! I’m so sorry it took me so long!

~

Cool, refreshing air envelopes your body, a comforting contrast to the summer heat outside as you walk step into the Detroit Police Precinct. Today marks the beginning of a new journey for you as a criminal investigator. Over are the days of sitting on the side of the road, in alleys, waiting for someone to break into a building, mug some unsuspecting passerby, or any of the other unsavory activities that occur under the moonlight of this restless city. Now, you get to work among some of DPD’s finest on the scenes of the crimes, solving crimes with much higher stakes.

You take a breath, trying to keep yourself cool and collected as you walk into the Bull Pen. You’ve been in here before, but typically you didn’t spend much time here. You walk through, looking at the desks, looking for the lieutenant and his partner you’ve been assigned to train under. You see a man, or android, rather, as you can tell by the bright blue LED on his temple, sitting at a desk. You recall being told the partner in question was an android detective sent by Cyberlife, and though you don’t see anyone sitting with him, you approach anyway.

“Hello. You must be Connor,” you say, greeting the android as you walk up to the desk. He looks up from his computer at you. “Hello,” he says, giving you a warm smile, “I am in fact. Can I help you with something?” You look at the empty desk across from him. “Have you seen Lieutenant Anderson this morning?” You ask, puzzled by his absence. Connor smiles again. “It would be surprising if I had. I’ll call him and let him know you’re here.” He picks up his phone, calling Lieutenant Anderson. He looks mildly surprised as his call is answered. “Lieutenant? Our trainee is here. She wishes to meet you.” He’s quiet for a moment, seemingly listening to the response. “Alright. I’ll let her know.” Connor hangs up the phone, looking to you, “He wanted me to inform you he’ll be here in fifteen minutes. He said you may sit at his desk until he arrives if you want.” You smile, nodding. “I think I will.”

You sit at his desk, taking in the various items he has scattered around. He’s got a little plant, which makes you smile, and a picture of a saint bernard dog. He’s also got stickers all over his computer screen, almost completely covering the screen itself. You scan your eyes over the snarky and sarcastic stickers, referencing his disdain for his ex-wife, happy people, and complaints.

Just as you finish reading them, you catch the motion of someone approaching out of the corner of your eye. You look up to see a particularly tall man, taller than Connor, with shaggy, silver hair and a brown leather jacket approaching. You smile, standing up. “You must be Lieutenant Anderson,” you greet, holding your hand out for him to shake. He stands in front of you, an apathetic yet curious look on his face as he shakes your hand. The contact nearly sends a shiver down your spine, heat blossoming in your hand and running all the way up your arm, settling in your cheeks. “Unfortunately.” He responds, looking down at you. “Are you the new kid Fowler wants me to train?” Your smile falters a little bit, taken aback, but you’re not one to back down at the first sign of trouble. You stand up a little straighter, smiling at him confidently. “I actually have several years of patrol under my belt.” This makes him chuckle. “I consider ‘several’ five or more years. How many you got?” He retorts. You cross your arms, still smiling. “Four. But regardless, I’m not fresh meat, Lieutenant, and I’m sure someone as experienced as yourself will have no problem training me up in no time,” you quip. This finally gets you a smirk from the detective. He sits down in his chair, “I’ll see what I can do.”

-

Your training under Hank went like that for months. Sarcastic comments from Hank, witty replies thrown right back in his face from you, Connor being an unfortunate bystander, day in and day out. As the days went by, you found yourself growing… Particularly fond of Hank. It was nearing the end of your training, meaning working so closely alongside Hank and Connor was about to come to and end, and you would be assigned to cases on your own and eventually be issued your own partner. As exhilarating as it was, finally having the world in your hands, it was bittersweet. You found yourself waking up in the morning eager to go to work, and though you were in some degree of denial about it, deep down you knew you weren’t eager to work. You were eager to see Hank.

Hank was grumpy, cynical, and spiteful, yes. Absolutely he was. Concurrently, though, you knew that, much like Connor, he had grown a soft spot for you. In fact, much to Connor’s chagrin, he seemed to have more of a soft spot for you than he did for even his android partner. Of the three of you, you were the most likely to make mistakes. To get things wrong. Regardless, he always met your self criticisms with defensiveness. Defense of you. He never let you feel like you weren’t a good enough detective, or like you would never be able to make it on your own. And, though you would never let him know it, the banter between the two of you, when it happened, never failed to light a fire deep inside you. It was exhilarating to go back and forth with him, and you basked in the attention of it.

Nearing the end of your training with Hank, only weeks out from it, you found yourself standing outside of Chicken Feed with Hank. Connor sat in the car, as usual, seemingly wanting to give the two of you space as he slowly caught onto your feelings for Hank. You smile at Hank. “Only a couple more weeks of this, huh?” you quip. Hank chuckles. “Yep. You’re lucky, you only have to deal with two more weeks of this ugly mug. Connor over there has to put up with it until further notice,” he responds, motioning to Connor in the car with the sandwich in his hands. “You’re going to miss him, aren’t ya?” he says, laughing. A look of confusion spreads across your face, and you look at him with furrowed brows. “Miss who?” Hank gives you a knowing look. “Connor.” He says, as though it’s the most obvious statement in the world. You are thoroughly perplexed by this. “Oh, uh… Yeah? I guess so.” You’re not sure what the point of the question is, but you finish your lunch anyway, not much of a word from either of you as you finish eating.

Back at the station, Hank’s words repeat like a broken record in your head. You sit with him, once again in Connor’s absence, as the two of you quietly work on filing through cases. Suddenly, Hank speaks. “You know, I think you should tell him how you feel.” You sit up, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair. “Hank, what in god’s name are you talking about?” you demand, looking incredulously at him. He looks back up at him. “Connor. You should tell him how you feel. I mean, even when there’s no case, you’re always hanging around. You always seem to laugh when you’re with him, and you blush all the time. I think before your training is done, you should tell him how you feel.” You stand up, running your hand through your hair and sighing, pacing slightly away from your chair as you are struck with disbelief, not knowing how to respond. You’ve never in all your years seen someone be so dense. He starts to talk again. “Listen, I didn’t mean to stress you out, I just think-“ Suddenly, you know exactly what you should do. You spin on your heel, cutting him off as he speaks by grabbing him by the collar and slamming your lips onto his. Hank’s hands are suspended in mid-air where they had been while he spoke, and they slowly move to your arms, gently touching you as he begins to kiss back. After a moment, you pull away, smiling. “Still think it’s Connor I’ve taken an interest in?” Hank stares at you, a smile slowly creeping onto his lips as seemingly the whole bull pen stares at the two of you in disbelief. Hank chuckles, speechless. And you smirk, returning to your chair, satisfied with yourself as you return to your work. Finally, the man has gotten a fucking clue.

[olivia091108]

How to be a jackass:part 1

Summary:meeting bam and Ryan in westchester

Word count:3306

So far filming for season two of jackass has probably been the best time I’ve ever had even though I’m getting injured or pranked every day.

All the guys are great and at first I thought it’s gonna be awkward not only being the new person but being the only girl.Thank god I was wrong for once I don’t think any of them actually cared as long as I actually did gnarly stunts.

The only people I haven’t met are the boys from westchester but Jeff says that we’re gonna film a group stunt with all of us soon.

I’ve done some mediocre stunts like pouting glitter in my eye which didn’t come out for a week and licking a mouse trap Owch. I also did one with wee man where he dressed as a baby and put in a pram and when people would ask to see ‘my baby’ they would be kinda disturbed.

Today I walk on to set and check the stunt list. Today I’m gonna get a pregnant belly strapped to me and walk around town drinking some beer.

——————————————————

Time skip

After getting a mean old lady shouting at me for ‘destroying my baby’ Jeff called all of us over and told us that at 5:30am to meet here because we’re driving to westchester tomorrow.Jeff actually banned us from going out after like we usually would do we finished for the day and I got the bus back to mine and my sisters apartment

Don’t get me wrong I’m excited but really 5:30 I’m sure there’s no harm in waking up later. I walk into the apartment and go to my room to pack since we will be staying there for 5 days.

I walk into my room and start packing stuff but I can’t find one of my favourite tops so I walk into Ella’s room to see if she’s taken it and I barge in without knocking to see her and Oliver mud sex scrambling to cover themselves with the sheet.

“Get out!”

“In a sec do you have my blue top the one with the buttons”

“Are you serio-“ I sigh and lean against the wall and she knows I won’t leave until she gives it to me. “It’s in my closet” I walk over and grab it off the hanger and scrunch it up in my hands

“Oh yeah by the way I’m gonna be gone for a few day”

“Leave!” She throws a pillow at me but I dick out the room before it can hit me

An hour later ella and Oliver knock on my door and wait for me to reply before walking in with very serious looks on both their faces.

Y/n we need to talk to you about something. You can’t just walk in without knocking we don’t have any privacy with you.

Alright I’ll knock next time

“It’s not just the knocking you always come home late and wreck the houses remember you broke olis computer at like 5:30 you never clean up after yourself and we just think that you should move back with mum and dad because we can’t keep living with you.”

“What your kicking me out I pay rent here”

“You don’t even pay a quarter y/n your’e basically living here for free.I rang dad he said it was fine you moving back soon”

“You know I can’t do that el”

“You could always get your’e own place I could help you have the money know”

“Fuck you. you know what I’ll leave right now.” I grab all my clothes in my wardrobe and try to shove it into my small suitcase and mange to mostly zip it and I grab a few personal thing and hold my piggy bank under my arm before leaving

It might’ve been a irrational idea because now I have nowhere to stay for the night and I can’t go to my parents not how I left there

It’s 1am I might as well go to set and wait till morning but with busses not running I have to walk 5 miles uptown.

Once I get there I only have to wait 2 and a half hours so I set my suitcase down and use it as a seat I dig around in my pocket for the taser I took from Johnny just in case.

I feel a hand grab me and by instinct Tase whoever it was. By the time my eyes have adjusted I realise I must’ve fallen asleep and everyone’s here to go to westchester.

While Jeff is complaining the taser Dave asks if I’ve been here all night. Nah I just thought I should get here early yknow only been here half hour.

We separate into 3 cars to get there and I’m in with Johnny Dave and wee man. I’m in the back with Dave and decide to use the 6 hour car drive as an opportunity for some sleep since I got 2 hours max last night.

—————————————————-

I wake up not being able to breathe and feeling plastic on my face I try and pry one of my friends hands off of me but it’s no use and I have to rip the plastic bag now being able to breathe properly

I hear Knoxville’s laugh and a Camrea is pointed in my face all that adrenaline woke me up quick but I’m still not wide awake and I just flip him off while sitting up and stretching being confined in a car really isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world.

“Cmon y/n we’re here grab your bags.” I take my almost bursting suitcase and walk it into the large house we will be staying at. I hear taking and follow it to the living room seeing Johnny talking to the two boys I recognise from episodes but still haven’t met.

Jeff introduces them the one with the dark hair and blue eyes is bam and the blonde one with a beard is called Ryan. We all introduce ourselves and start chatting and getting to know eatch other. Another girl is here called Jenn she’s bams girlfriend she seems nice but I haven’t spoken to her much

I excuse myself to the bathroom and i see a blonde lady in the kitchen and ask her if she needs a hand. If you don’t mind that would be great

“I’m April bams mum it’s so nice to have you all hear but I am a bit worried honestly”

“Im y/n thanks for letting us stay and I promise I will try to protect you and your house.”

Me and April talk about all kinds of things and I soon meet her husband Phil who is such a sweetheart and it makes me feel even worse for him seeing how bam treats him.

I’m sorry your supposed to be getting to know eatchother and I’ve stolen you away thanks for your help with the dinner.

“Oh it’s no worries you seem wayy more interesting than them boys.”

Speaking of Chris has snuck up behind me and lifted me up and body slammed me onto one of the sofas it wouldn’t of hurt that bad if people weren’t sitting on it.

I sit up and move off of whoever I fell on and jsut laugh it off and I start talking to Ryan about some of his stunts and his life and what not. While telling me about cky videos and high school with his friends bam started to join in adding to the story.

After an hour of talking to the two of them we got along really well and had quite a few things in common with them. We got called for dinner and while I was eating I could feel myself drifting off even though I slept in the car for 6 hours.

I ended up face planting into the food which made everyone laugh and while I used the bottom of my shirt to wipe it off the topic of rooms came up.

Some people were gonna have to share because there’s not enough rooms Steve o and pontius are sharing as well as Dave and ehren. Johnny is with me and wee man and Preston are together.

We all go to our rooms and get unpacked and settled. “Yknow we’re only here for 5 days don’t you”.

“Can’t a girl have options” i didn’t want to tell Johnny about getting kicked out I just wanted to have fun here. While I get changed into my pjamas I get into bed and shut my eyes trying to fall asleep but either from the excitement of tomorrow or because I napped today I couldn’t.

I looked at the clock and it was 12:34 Knoxville was asleep by now I could tell by his heavy breathing. I decided to go downstairs and have some water so I snuck out of my room and when I got downstairs I see Jenn down their about to leave

“How come you aren’t staying?”

“Bams just being a bit of a dick right now but I’ll see you in a couple days bye”

I sit in the kitchen having some water and once I’ve finished I still don’t feel like sleeping so I decide to look around. As best as you can in the dark. I quietly open the front door and step into the garden it had a skate ramp and a swimming pool in it. I went to go back inside but the door is locked I’m not gonna ring the doorbell or id wake everyone up.

I walk round the back and I see a window open so I jump from the ramp to the roof and pull myself up I walk along to reach the window but I see something move next to me. It’s a squirrel. Shit I’m fucking terrified of them they’re Satan reincarnated.

“Oh my god oh my god stop”I try to move as quick as I can to the window and quickly climb in to the room and close the window quietly while repeating those words.

“Jenn I told you to go away”bam room shit. I don’t answer and attempt to just get out of the room but I step on something and it slips out from under me and I fall onto the bed.

“Shit sorry.” Bam leans over and turns his bedside lamp on and rub his eyes. “What are you doing”

“I got locked out of the house then I had to climb threw your’e window to get away from the squirrel like I said sorry and night.”

“Are you on something” bam asks not believing me. I pull a confused face not knowing why he would be confused. “ why were you running from a squirrel?”

“Cos they’re fucking scary haven’t you seen Charlie and the chocolate factory?” At my distress yknow way he does. Laugh.I soon join in and we’re just sat they’re laughing together in His room.

Once the laughing stops he breaks the silence. “How did you even get up here?”bam asks thinking back on my story “I jumped off your ramp.you any good at skating”

“Yeah pretty good you?”

“Stepped foot on one once and fell onto someone’s bed. It seems pretty cool other than that though”

“I could teach you sometime.”

“I’ll hold you to that bam” me and bam speak about anything and everything with me now sitting above his covers on his bed and we switched the lamp off.

He tells me all about his family and when he asks about mine something in the room shifts it’s awkward.

Well I actually left home when I was 16 because me and my mum never got along she always preferred my sister i always hung out with my dad but I didn’t have many friends but these girls invited me to hangout with them and I snuck out an we went to some abandoned school and we would go there smoke some weed and whatever and once we were spray painting and the police turned up my friends ran and a policeman got me and I kicked him in the balls and they took me to jail and when my mum got that call she went crazy she said she was so disappointed in what I’ve become and that she won’t bail me out because she didn’t actually want me to come home. My dad eventually came in and took me home but I got there and my room was all boxed up and she kicked me out and said she didn’t want to see me again so I moved in with my sister.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t know”

“Yeah well how could you I don’t tell anybody so I’m could u try not to mention that”

“Pinky promise”we interlock pinkies and I kiss my hand and he copies.the conversation moves on and soon enough we’re shushing the other to stop Laughing until I notice the clock and see that it’s 2:12 and I can tell bams tired and I am as well.

“Wait y/n it was cool talking to you and if you need to talk I’m always here.” I grab a pillow an throw it at hand face. Don’t get all sappy now bam I thought you were supposed to be a cool skater boy.

I leave and head back to my room and wriggle into bed having to shove Johnny over a bit and for a second I lay there thinking about bam and how much I trusted him I wonder what tomorrow will be like before I know it I’m out like a light.

This one was acc really long

Omg guys I’m so pissed I wrote this like a week ago but I didn’t press save and I LOST RVEYTHUNG the first one was way better

Requests always open

-liv

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Derin, you once said that posting consistently in a web series is very important for the growth of audience. But how do you keep yourself motivated to create stories on schedule? Whenever I try to do it, I just lose motivation and get stressed out or bored with my project

My answer is to have a big buffer. I aim to have a buffer of at least one year's worth of chapters. That way, I can take a month or two off every now and then to avoid burnout. It is also far, far less stressful. Not having a buffer is the most stressful thing a writer can do, do not do that.

So far as long-term sticking to projects goes, there's a few skills involved here and all of them involve a lot of practice. The first thing is what I call the Shiny New Fruit problem. This is something you see pretty much every newbie writer doing -- they get a great idea for a story, they know how it's gonna start, they have a cool premise and a twist that's gonna BLOW EVERYONE'S MIND, it'll be great! They start writing! Their first chapter is cool and unique and full of promise, and they get great feedback, and they move onto the second chapter and it's also great, and...

Quite quickly, they run out of "great chapters". Most of the time, the start of your story is low hanging fruit, so far as writing goes -- it's where you get to introduce all your cool concepts and you're not weighed down by anything established yet and all the Cool Stuff That's Gonna Happen is still in the future, it's your perfect imagined version of it and not the (usually worse) version that ends up on the page. Then you run out of low hanging fruit, and it gets slower and harder, and you have to do a lot more actual work and it doesn't feel so new and exciting any more, and a newbie writer thinks, "oh, this isn't as fun, the story feels more boring to write, that part didn't come out as well as I'd hoped -- this story must be bad". And sometimes they might give up right away. Or instead they might continue... but they're distracted, because solving the issue of how to get those two guys out of prison in chapter 6 just gave them the BEST idea for a different story, it's gonna be so much better, the characters are great and they can already feel the words pouring out of them and...

So they run off to pick the low-hanging fruit for their new story, and before they know it, they have nine unfinished stories on their hard drive and not a completed story to their name.

Every writer will get distracted and enthused about new ideas for projects. This isn't a newbie problem. The newbie problem is letting them tempt you away from the viable projects you're already working on so that nothing gets done. My solution to this is very simple -- I am not allowed to write my future projects until I finish my current one. This way, all that enthusiasm for the future project is transmuted into motivation for the current one -- I can write that cool story about a bug alien who adopts and astronaut but first I have to push through the slow part of this story and get this story finished. This has always worked really well for me.

The second reason that you might lose motivation for a story you're working on is that the story is indeed bad, or at least, the version of it incubating in your mind isn't ready yet. The problem with this is that every story feels bad when you're bored or frustrated with it, and it takes a lot of practice to tell the difference between a genuine dud idea and one that your brain is lying to you about because it wants to play computer games instead. My advice on these is to push through anyway -- it almost certainly isn't a dud idea, and if it is, you'll learn way more by completing it than abandoning it.

The third reason is burnout. Now, it's important to note that everyone is bored and frustrated with their stories sometimes. I got sick of writing space intrigue and took a month off to play Subnautica (I could afford to do this with no stress because of my massive chapter buffer), then came back when I felt like it -- that isn't burnout. I've procrastinated for weeks before because I'm up to a really complicated scene with a lot of emotional beats and new information and it's hard to write so I don't wanna -- that isn't burnout. Burnout is what you get when you don't manage these things properly for way too long and grind your brain to paste. I have a lot of tips for avoiding burnout, but they'd take a long time to explain, so all I'll say here is that learning to recognise and avoid burnout is a skill that you will gain with experience.

The fourth reason that people get bored and frustrated is that writing is a skill, and it's a lot harder to do than it looks. Writing when you're not in Full Inspiration Mode is exhausting. It's difficult. It almost always looked worse on the page than you expected; your favourite authors do so much better than this, why doesn't your work look like theirs? It's just words! You know words!

This one trips a lot of newbies up, because in Full Inspiration Mode, writing is easy. someone can have five chapters pour out of them in that mode, and then look at their page two days later and go, "huh, writing is so much harder today". then they'll call that "writer's block" (that is NOT writer's block) and decide to write again when they "feel inspired".

Do not do this. It's a trap. If you only write when you're inspired, you will not succeed as a writer. Take advantage of your periods of inspiration, obviously, but writers must learn to forge ahead without them, because they're going to get fewer and smaller as the low hanging fruit all get picked and you simply will not keep up with a schedule relying on them, whether it's a web serial update schedule or a deadline given to you by a publisher or simply the desire to have a manuscript ready to pitch to an agent before you die of old age. The world is full of people who are "writing a book" and have been doing so for thirty years with almost no progress. If you want to finish, you need to write when it's a bit tricky, when it's a bit boring, when you're not inspired at all and aren't entirely certain where things are going. Fortunately this, like everything else here, is a skill that is honed with practice.

So, yeah. That's my advice. Have a chapter buffer, the bigger the better. Make sure that your writing pace is faster than your publication pace. Avoid these quitting/stopping pitfalls. That's pretty much it.

[countrymusiclover]

11 - Must Answer the Call

Part 12

Dr. Redheaded Neighbor

Comment your thoughts down below or in a reblog post

Tag list - send an ask to be added @annieradcliff @watermeezer @zaidatorcuatomorgado @kmc1989

One Year Later

Running as fast as my feet could carry me I abandoned the building that was on fire falling down onto the ground tripping on some wood that had fallen off the house because of the fire. I groaned blinking my eyes seeing Casey rushing to my aid where he yanked me up before our bodies got thrown forward by an explosion of flames. “Easton! Ugh – are you alright?”

“Yeah. I – I think so. How are you?” I forced myself to my feet as best as I could offering him my hand helping him off the ground. Brett and Dawson had already left in their ambulance with the patients that needed o go to East Mercy hospital.

Casey removed his firefighter helmet from his head running a gloved hand through his hair. “I’m okay. I’ve been in tougher situations than what we had today.”

“Hey chatty Kathy’s let’s get back to the house. Mill’s has food going in the oven and I’m hungry!” We turned our heads in the direction of the fire truck that Kelly was climbing in the backseat.

Casey and I made our way back over to the fire truck where we made our way back to the house. Climbing out of the passenger seat my boots hit the stone concrete floor. I hung up my firefighter gear just walking around in a fire house 51 shirt, some blue jeans and my brown boots about to go get some food until my phone rang off inside my locker when I walked past it. “Hey, Halstead. I wasn’t expecting to hear a call from you this early in the day.”

“Are you Ms. Mallory Easton?” A computer operator voice responded through the phone.

“Yes. This is she. Who is this?”

“You’re call is now being transferred.” The operator answered back.

“Ms. Easton, this is Lieutenant Griffin. I have been trying to reach you for a while now.”

I ran a hand through my hair nervous to hear his voice after all this time. “I apologize for that, sir. I have gotten a new job with Firehouse 51. So, I haven’t been seeing your phone calls recently. Um, what exactly do you need to tell me about?”

“I must inform you that we need you and Maxon back for deployment.”

Slowly lowering myself down onto the wooden bench in front of my open locker I couldn’t believe what he had just said to me. “Sir, I - I have no clue what to say. I thought I was done – that I had finished my tour.”

“When Dr. Owen sent you home we believed that we had cleared everything from here. Unfortunately we had some new information come in from one of our guys. Somebody is planning on attacking the US soil.”

Sucking in a breath I felt like I was frozen in some sort of nightmare. I was finally with my best friend. I had found some more friends and gotten a new job that I was beginning to enjoy here. Now it might all get taken away from me. “Sir, how soon would I have to be deployed out?”

“I’d give it would be three to four months at the most.” He responded through the phone with a very heavy sigh meaning he didn’t care for the answer he had given me either.

“Lieutenant Griffin, when do I need to let you know that I have everything squared away on my end?”

He corrected my statement. “You have to remember Ms. Easton. This is the military you don’t have to give us notice. If we need you you’ll just have to follow the orders you’ve been assigned.”

“Yes, I understand sir. I’ll figure this out.”

He hung up the phone without another word. “I’ll be in touch. Good day.”

Sitting my phone down beside me I hit the lock button on my phone then turned it back on to show the lock screen that Will and I had taken with Maxon on our one month anniversary where we had went and done the tilt at the John Hancock Building.

“Two tickets for the 360 tilt.” Will handed asked the cashier woman at the front desk the money.

I was standing behind Will and Maxon was sitting beside me while I held his leash attached to the collar loosely in my hands. “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. But he can’t be up there unless he is a service dog.”

“He’s actually a former Army veteran K-9. I think he meets that criteria.” I corrected her statement with a smile.

She nodded seeing Maxon wagging his tail happily at her. “Ah I see. Have a good time.”

The three of us entered the elevator with a few other people who were going up with us. Once the doors opened I led Maxon forward until we reached one of the windows and he put his paws on the glass wagging his tail happily. “Pretty neat isn’t it, Max?” He barked in response to me.

Will joined us looking out the window seeing all the city buildings from this high up. “And here I thought the hospital balcony had a view.” He chuckled in awe never being up this high.

“This is the second time I have been able to enjoy being this high off the ground. When you look out the side of a helicopter it’s not the same since you’re going off to war.” I held my mouth opened just living in the moment with the building lights shining all over the nightly windy city.

An idea popped inside the ED doc’s head where he took out his phone nudging my arm. “Let’s do a picture up here.”

“Yeah but you’re getting in it too.” I told him bending down on a knee to be level with Maxon.

Will held the phone up wrapping one arm over my shoulder. “One, two, three. Got it.” He hit the camera button a few times showing me the picture of the three of us.

“We’re pretty good together. Happy anniversary, Mal.” Will leaned down kissing me softly on the lips with a smile.

I smiled into the kiss leaning up on my toes, wrapping my fingers around the tea shirt he was wearing. “Happy anniversary, Will.”

Hearing footsteps entering the locker room I bent my head down into my knees trying to still process that phone call. I wasn’t prepared to get deployed out after getting the leg brace. And now Will and I were in a really good place, so what was he going to think now. “Hey Mallory, Mills wants to know what type of pizza you want. Woah, hey what’s wrong?”

“Huh – oh it’s nothing Brett.” I attempted to lie hoping she wouldn’t pick up on it.

She slowly came and sat down to me. “If you’re crying then it’s clearly not fine. I’m you’re friend you can tell me anything.”

“I got deployed, Sylvie.”

She covered a hand over her mouth in shock. “I’m sorry. Are you going to tell Will?”

“I don’t have much of a choice in the matter. I just know I need to tell the truth of something we’re gonna have to deal with together.” I responded to my friend.

She noticed me slowly getting up and grabbing my normal gear to go home for the evening. “Where are you going, Mallory?”

“In case the Chief or Casey ask where I went. Just say I had an emergency come up but I’ll be back tomorrow.” Shrugging on my jacket I bolted out of the room and to my car needing to see my boyfriend sooner rather than later.

[justabooknerdposts]

Percabeth Drabble: Fall in Love Questions

*Okay, so the idea for this came to me a few years ago—I was watching The Big Bang Theory and it was the episode where they discuss this list of questions that will allegedly make two people fall in love.  Sheldon and Penny decide to go through them—spoiler alert, they don’t fall in love, but they say they do feel closer at the end.  So anyway, I went online to find the questions, out of curiosity, and then, after reading them, I thought it might be a fun writing exercise to play with this as if Percy and Annabeth were answering the questions.  So here it is! 

The Scene: The Jackson-Blofis apartment, early fall.  Percy and Annabeth are sitting cross-legged on the floor beside the coffee table, leaning back against the sofa—a half empty pizza box sits in the middle of the coffee table, as well as a couple of partially full glasses of Coke.  Golden sunset light is coming through the window.  The baby monitor is also on the coffee table, showing Estell sleeping in her crib.  This is Percy and Annabeth’s first visit back to New York since heading off to New Rome University.  Tonight, they’re baby-sitting, giving Paul and Sally a chance to go out to dinner and a movie.

Re-runs of a sit-com are playing in the background as Percy reached for his third slice of pizza.  The characters on the TV show were talking about a list of questions that will allegedly make two people fall in love after answering them together.  So, Annabeth nabbed Paul’s laptop and, while Percy was debating a fourth slice of pizza, she looked them up.  After scanning the list, she told Percy, “Let’s try it.”

He looked over at her, right in the middle of taking his first bite of his fourth slice.  “What?”

“Let’s try it,” she said again, showing him the list on the computer.  “It might be fun.”

Percy looked skeptical, like their definitions of “fun” didn’t exactly line up.  “But we’re already in love.”

That drew a smile from Annabeth.  “I know.  But we might learn something new.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Alright.”  Percy finished his fourth slice of pizza, then took a drink of his Coke.  “Hit me with the first one.”

Annabeth kissed him on the cheek, then turned back to the questions on the laptop.  The TV droned low in the background.  On the monitor, Estelle’s chest rose and fell as she slept on her back, one arm curled up around her head.  The air conditioner chugged in the window, fending off the last heat of late summer as it gave way to early fall.  Percy’s arm lay along the couch cushions, lightly touching Annabeth’s shoulders.  He had his legs stretched out beneath the coffee table and she was sitting criss-cross, her left knee resting on his right.  It was a peaceful, relaxing evening.  Scrolling to the first question, Annabeth began to read.    

Set 1

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

[CAVEAT for them, can’t be each other or anyone you could just call up for dinner right now].

P:  My mom’s parents.  I never got to meet them, and I think it’d be kind of cool to get to know them.  Learn more about that part of my family and all.

A:  My mom.  I know that’s almost like cheating, but I would honestly just love to sit down and have dinner with her and just, you know, talk.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

P:  Absolutely not.  I mean, when I was younger, I kind of wanted to be a famous skateboarder, but after everything, nah, I don’t want to be famous.  I just want to live my life.

A:  I’d like to be a famous architect.  But you already know that.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

P: Sometimes.  I did before we were dating, when I would call you, sometimes, just to make sure I didn’t sound like an idiot.  And sometimes now, if it’s an important call and I don’t just want to blurt out whatever.

A:  Not usually.  If it’s a really important call, like a phone interview, then yeah, I might have some notes, but usually not.

P:  Huh, that’s kind of funny.  Almost seems like it would be the other way around.

A:  Yeah.  Interesting.

4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?

P:  Has to start with sleeping in, for sure.  Maybe my mom making pancakes.  Hanging out with my family.  Hanging out with you.  Just chill.  Maybe at the beach.  Pizza for dinner, obviously.  Hanging out with some friends and playing video games.  Then you and I curling up and watching a movie…and sometimes not watching the movie.  I guess just chilling with the people I love.  What about you? A:  Okay, for me, this might be a little bit in the future.  But waking up in my own home, um preferably next to you, and it’s still early, and I just make some coffee, go to my own office, which has lots of light, and I just sketch for a few hours.  Then, when you wake up, we go out to breakfast, or brunch, whatever, and then just hang out.  Maybe go walk around a park or something, go to a matinee movie or show, maybe meet some friends for a late lunch or early dinner, then yeah, I like the idea of coming home, curling up on the couch together, and watching a movie.  Just normal, relaxed, you know?

P:  Yeah.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

P:  Not gonna lie, I was singing in the shower this morning.  And, uh, I sang to Estelle yesterday.  She likes when I do “Under the Sea.”

A:  I don’t sing.  I mean, I guess I kind of hummed to Estelle the last time I watched her.  And, oh, shoot, you know what, I did sing to Peleus before, because lullabies calm him down so he doesn’t eat people.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

P:  I have no idea.  I mean…mind, I guess?  That’s a weird question.

A:  Mind, definitely.  But yeah, that’s kind of a strange question.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

P:  Do I even have to answer this one?

A:  No, we’re skipping this.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

P:  Oh, wow, this is an interesting one.  Um, I think we both really care about our friends.  We’re both good at putting important stuff first, especially when we really have to.  And, uh, good-looking?

A:  Dork.  But I really like those first two, and I agree.  I think we’re both tough, like resilient.  I think we both always want to do the right thing.  And I think we both have a good sense of humor.

P:  I like those, too.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

P:  Being here right now with you.  And, in general, for the people in my life.

A:  Same.  About the people in my life, too.  But I’m definitely most grateful we can just sit here together like this right now.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

A [humorless laugh]: Pretty much everything.  I guess, if I had to say something specific, better communication.

P [takes her hand and laces their fingers together.  She smiles and gestures for him to go]: I don’t think I’d really change anything my mom did, like as a parent.  If I was going to change anything, it would have been that Smelly Gabe wouldn’t have been around and I wouldn’t have had to go to all those boarding schools.  They usually sucked.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

P:  Don’t we already know all this?  Are you getting out a stopwatch?

A:  Yes.  It’s one of the questions.  So get ready, Seaweed Brain, you’re going first.

[8 MINUTES LATER]

P:  Okay, that was actually kind of cool.  What’s the next one?

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

P:  I’m still pretty jealous that Frank can change into animals and I can’t.

A:  Is that seriously your answer? P [considers a moment]: Yes.  I mean, otherwise, I like my abilities.

A:  Yeah, they are pretty cool.  And you have a lot of good qualities. P: I do? A: Yeah, Seaweed Brain.  You definitely do.

P:  Aww, thanks, babe. [He kisses her cheek].  Okay, what’s your answer?

A [after considering]:  Honestly, I wouldn’t mind being able to breathe underwater or will my clothes dry.  That would be useful.  Especially hanging around you. [Nudges him with her shoulder].  For qualities, though, I could probably do better not getting so focused on my own stuff sometimes, so maybe paying attention to what other people need more.

P [shrugs]:  Maybe, but I like your intensity about stuff.  That’s one of your best qualities.

A [looks surprised]:  Really?

P:  Yeah, definitely.

A [leans over to kiss him]:  I like this question thing.  Alright, we’re moving on to the second level.  Or set.  Whatever.

Set 2

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

A: I think I’d want to know that we’re okay in a few years.  Like, I wouldn’t want the details spoiled, necessarily, because as much as I love planning, it’s also fun if some things are a surprise, but I’d like to know, just in general, that we, you know, kind of get our happy ending. [blinks quickly and swipes hand across eyes]  Oh wow, I don’t know why that made me kind of tear up.  Okay, you answer.

P [considers for a few moments]:  Honestly, after all the shit we’ve gone through dealing with prophecies, I’m not sure I’d even want to look.  I like your answer, but I think I’d like to just be…what’s that phrase?  Blissfully oblivious about the future.  And yeah, sometimes surprises are nice.  Good surprises, I mean, are nice.

14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it? P: I have to think about this.  You go.

A:  I’d really like to go to Falling Water, Frank Lloyd Wright’s place he designed.  But I haven’t had a chance to go yet.  I used to say the Parthenon, but we’ve been there.  I wouldn’t mind going back, someday, though, when we could actually spend some time there and enjoy it.

P:  Good to know.

A:  There was one highlight of the Parthenon trip though.  [smiles at him, and he returns it].  So what’s your answer?

P [looks down]:  So, I don’t know if this is really a dream, but I’ve wanted to talk to my mom about just…Gabe…and our life before I found out I was a demigod.  For a long time.  I just never want to bring it up though, don’t want to bring up the bad memories, you know?  And I usually try not to look back too much, or dwell on stuff, but I just feel like it’s something we should talk about at some point.  Dang, I actually didn’t really realize that until I had to think about it just now.

A [quietly]: I think that’s a good idea.  Maybe one evening when it’s just you two?  It might be good for both of you.

P:  Yeah, maybe.  [deep breath].  Okay, next question.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

P:  Great, easy one.  Saving Olympus.

A:  Yeah, being designated official architect of Olympus was pretty good.  I feel like we could be more thoughtful with this one, though.  What would you say is your greatest accomplishment outside of hero stuff?

P [groans]: You never settle for an easy answer, do you? A: Nope.

P:  That’s okay.  It’s another one of the things I like best about you. [kisses her cheek again when she smiles at him].  Okay, outside of hero stuff?  I’m pretty proud of graduating from high school.  And getting accepted to college.  Because I wasn’t sure that was something I would ever be able to do.  So it feels pretty good.  Surviving almost two years as your boyfriend feels pretty good too. A: Graduating definitely feels like an accomplishment, especially after the past couple years.  But I am actually going to say our relationship, truthfully, because I never thought I’d have something like this.  It wasn’t in my plans, at all.  But coming up on our second anniversary, and going to college together, definitely feels like an accomplishment.

[question answering is briefly interrupted]

A: Percy, we really need to finish this.  I don’t think you’re supposed to take breaks.

P:  Fine.  What’s up next?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

A:  Loyalty.  And honesty.  Those kind of go together.

P:  Yeah.  And somebody who does the right thing, even when it’s not easy. 

17. What is your most treasured memory?

P:  Underwater kiss.  For sure.

A: Under the Parthenon.  Easy.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

P:  Damn.  I mean, leaving Beckendorf, thinking my mom was dead, thinking Tyson was dead, thinking you might be dead when you were kidnapped, everything that happened in the Titan War, leaving Bob and Damasen at the Doors, a bunch of other stuff.  Should we do that four minute thing again?

A: Right?  What would you say the worst moment was, though?

P: Truthfully…well, no.

A: What? P:  I was going to say when we were dangling over that pit and I realized I couldn’t pull you up.  That was terrible.  But actually, what happened with Akhlys was worse.  When I realized you were afraid of me and what I was doing.  That’s my most terrible memory, because I was out of control and I was enjoying hurting her, and I don’t ever want to be that person again. [clears throat]  Um, your turn.

A: That’s pretty high on my terrible list, too, because that’s not you, Percy.  And yeah, leaving Bob and Damasen at the Doors was awful.  And so much that happened in the Titan War…everything with Luke…Silena…and, gods, those months when you were missing.  That was miserable.  But if I had to pick an absolute most terrible memory, it would probably be after the arai attacked, when you were dying of the gorgon’s blood poison curse, and I didn’t know how to save you.  Because all I could think, other than I can’t lose him, was that you were only there because of me.  Because I didn’t think to cut the spider silk off.  And if you died, that was my fault.  And I would have to live with that.

[brief silence, holding hands]  Okay, next question, right?

P: Uh, yeah, definitely.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

P:  Why did these suddenly get so depressing?  And honestly, that’s how I’ve been living for years.  So, no, probably not.  Other than maybe I’d spend less time on homework and more time hanging out with the people I love.  And I would eat only junk food.

A: I believe that.  I don’t know if I’d really do anything different.  Maybe, yeah, spend more time with the people I love.  Maybe try to complete some additional sketches and leave plans for how they could be implemented.  But otherwise, like you said, we’ve been living that way for years.  Now, for the first time, we kind of don’t have to as much.  So, moving on.

20. What does friendship mean to you?

P:  Didn’t we already answer this one?

A:  No, that was about what do you value in a friendship.

P [stares blankly]: Are those different?

A:  Yes.  What do you value is like traits, what friendship means to you is more…I don’t know…broad.  Or something.  I mean, friendship is incredibly important to me.  Especially when I wasn’t getting along with my family, my friends became my family.  So yeah, it’s important.

P:  Yeah, me too.  It’s important.  I mean, especially with what we’ve been through, you need people you can rely on, who you know have your back and care about you.  So yeah, friendship is important to me.  Is that the right answer?

A [rolls eyes]: There’s not one right answer, Seaweed Brain.  But yes, that works.  Moving on.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

P:  They’re good things?  I don’t know how to answer this one either.

A: Try.

P: Okay, I mean, if you want the deep answer, isn’t it all about love?  Not just romantic stuff, although that’s obviously important, but like love for family and friends, too.  I’ve only been able to do some of the stuff I’ve had to do because I love you, my family, and my friends.  Love gives you strength.

A: Wow, Percy.  That’s…that’s a really great answer.

P [shrugs]: It’s true.  What’s yours? A: I think, for me, because of how I felt when I was little, love and affection are almost painfully important to me.  If I want to go really deep, I think I associate them with acceptance.  When Thalia and Luke first took me in, they gave me hugs and tousled my hair and stuff like that, and acted like they wanted me around.  That blew my mind.  When I got to camp, Chiron would pat my shoulder or head when I did well.  Grover and Tyson give hugs to show they care.  So does your mom.  Piper, too, actually.  And then you came along, obviously.  And even when we were younger, just sitting by you, or holding your hand, always made me feel better.  So I guess, to me, love and affection go together.  Like physical affection is such a clear way people show that they care about you.  I know it’s not the only way, but it’s definitely important. [blushes]  Anyway, next question.

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

P:  Sweet, another easy one.  Okay, your eyes.

A: That’s very sweet, but it says “characteristic”, not “attribute.”  I think it means more internal stuff.

P: What happened to no wrong answers?  But I’m sticking with my answer, because, I mean, yeah, I think your eyes are beautiful, but they can also be fierce and intense and scary, so I still think it fits.

A:  Okay.  Your heart.  You have a really good heart, and I’ve always loved that about you.

P: Thanks.  I’ve always been amazed by your strength.  Like, just with everything.  You have more guts than anybody I’ve ever met.

A: Thanks, Percy.  I love your sense of humor.  You can always find something to lighten the mood, even when things are really bad.

P: I do my best.  I was going to say your intelligence, but that feels like a given, so I’m going with your passion for architecture and stuff.  Like, I love watching your face light up when you talk about stuff you’re excited about.

A: Really? P: Yeah.

A:  So, you can be goofy, and that’s great, but when something’s really important, you get this intense focus that I really appreciate.  And your confidence.  I admire that too.

P: I have confidence? A: Yeah, babe, you do.  Like when you were leading everyone during the Battle of Manhattan?  [smiles slyly] It was pretty hot.

P: Good to know.  Okay, my turn.  I like how you genuinely care about people and you want to help them.  I don’t know if everybody always sees that, but I do.  And I really admire that.

A [biting lip, trying not to smile]:  Thanks.  That means a lot.  You also just took my next one about you, because it was basically that.

P [grinning]: My bad.  You can still use it, too, if you want.

A: No, I’ve got a few others still.  Like the fact that you’re an amazing big brother.  Like how you stood by Tyson that first summer he came to camp, which I know wasn’t easy.  And seeing you playing with your baby sister is the cutest thing ever.

P: Well, it helps that Estelle is adorable.

A: That doesn’t hurt.  Okay, last one each.

P: Already? 

A: Yep.

P: Dang, I liked this question.  Okay, I like how you always manage to surprise me.  Ever since we met and you told me I drooled in my sleep.

A [leans forward and kisses him quickly]: I like your arms.

P: Huh? A [shrugs]: Your first one was my eyes, my last one is your arms.  You have nice muscles.  And, you know, you’re a very impressive swordsman, so it still falls under that characteristic thing.

P: Huh.  Again, good to know.  How many questions do we have left?

A: A few.  Ready to move on?

P: Yeah.  Let’s go.     

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

A: Oh gods.  Is this for real?

P: Do we want to just skip this one?

A [sighs]: No, we have to answer them all.  So, my family is getting better, but I don’t think I’ll ever describe them as close and warm.  Although things with my dad are much better.  And everything with Magnus is good.  But my childhood was definitely not happier than other people’s.  Your turn, Seaweed Brain.

P: I’m definitely close with my mom.  And Paul and Estelle.  And they’re all warm.  So’s Tyson, obviously.  Things with my dad have been good, can’t complain.  I doubt my childhood was happier than most other people’s, but there were some good moments, too.  But…never mind.

A: What?

P: But one day, in the future, like way out, when I have kids, I want to make sure they have a genuinely good childhood.  I mean, I’m going to do my best to make that happen.

A [holds his eyes for a long moment]: I love that idea.

P: Cool. [swallows hard] Um, next question? 24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

A [facepalms]: You have got to be kidding me.

P: My mom’s awesome.  Next question.

Set 3

25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling _____."

P: Okay, this is another kind of weird one. 

A: A bit.  Three true “we” statements each.  Okay, so we are both in this room feeling vulnerable?

P: Yeah, that’s true.  We are both demigods.

A: Percy!

P: What?  It’s true.

A: That’s practically cheating.

P: Okay, fine, that one doesn’t count.  How about we are both learning some new stuff about each other?

A: Yeah.  Nice to know we can still do that.  And we both believe we can build a future together.

P: Definitely true. [pauses, thinking] We believe in each other.

A: We do.  And we put each other first, or at least we try our best.

P: I agree with that.  And, most importantly, we love each other.

A: Absolutely.

P: That was a good one.  What’s next?

26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share _____."

A: Umm…I have no idea how to answer this.

P: Yeah, I’m coming up blank. 

A: I mean, my first thought was maybe my love of architecture, but Malcolm and I have great discussions.  Leo, too, is great for talking about engineering and design type stuff.  And everything else I talk with you about.  Or Piper.  Or your mom.  Sometimes friends at school.

P: Yeah, maybe I’m not thinking deep enough, but I think you and I have a lot of those types of conversations.  Or I talk to my friends.  Or my mom.  I thought about my love of video games.  But guys from camp and school are around for that. 

A: Does it count if we at least had a discussion about how we don’t have an answer?

P: I’m good with that.  Next.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

P:  Gee, Annabeth, if we were friends, what would I need to know?

A [laughs]: Okay, I’m guessing this question is for people who don’t really know each other.  But if I was going to give an honest answer, even if you already know it, it would probably be helpful to know about my history, and why I hate people letting me down.

P: That’s actually true.  I mean, I felt like I understood you better once I learned some of that stuff.  Kind of similar, I think it would be important for someone to know how important my mom and family are to me.

A: Definitely.

P: And you, obviously.  That was a given.

A: Ditto, Seaweed Brain.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

A: This is interesting.  I mean, I feel like we were pretty honest last time.  That was definitely not stuff I would say to someone I just met.

P: Same.  But I might be able to come up with something else.

A: Yeah, me too.  So, even more honestly, what I like about you is that you’re reliable.  I know you always have my back and I can count on you.  For me, that means everything.  And I also love that you’re kind and sweet and respectful and funny and cute and smart and strong and…well, a lot of things.

P [kisses her]: Sorry, couldn’t help it.  I love that you’re just yourself.  You don’t try to change to impress anybody.  I mean, I know you put a lot of pressure on yourself to do well and achieve your goals, and that’s impressive, too, but you’re always still Annabeth.  You stay true to yourself.  And I love that.

[brief kissing interlude]

A: Okay, let’s finish these last few questions.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

A: Oh gods.  Um, okay, this one time, I started my period in the middle of class and had to wear a sweatshirt tied around my waist the rest of the day to cover up the small spot on my jeans.  Your turn.

P: I dangled from a billboard in Times Square in my underwear.

A: You what? P: Yeah, it was a whole thing with Grover and Apollo and it was pretty humiliating, so I never told you about it.  Next question.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

P: In front of another person?  When we found out about what happened to Jason and everybody at Camp Jupiter.  I cried in front of you when we went back to your dad’s house.

A: Yeah.  I think that was my most recent time, too.  What about by yourself?

P: I mean, I’m not a big crier, usually.  I might have been upset about all that again, but the time that comes to mind, honestly, was after Estelle was born.  I don’t know why, but I remember standing at my bedroom window, looking out at the city, and I got all choked up.  But that was like, good crying.  Like, my mom was happy, she has Paul, now they have Estelle, I have this great family, this amazing girlfriend, I was getting ready to graduate high school and go to college.  I think I was just kind of amazed that was all real.  What about you? A: Honestly, I think it was something similar.  On the drive out to California, we stayed in that one hotel that had a balcony, looking out over that lake?  I couldn’t sleep, so I went out on the balcony, and I was just looking out, and thinking about everything.  Like that this was really happening.  And it was kind of overwhelming, but in a good way.  And I might have cried a little bit, but happy tears.

P: I didn’t know that.  You could have woken me up.

A: I know.  It was okay though.  I think I just needed that moment to process everything, you know?  Anyway, next one.

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

A: Okay, this has to be for people who don’t know each other.

P: Yeah, but we can make it work.  Unless you’re out of nice stuff to say about me? A: Not even close, Seaweed Brain.  I like how honest you’re being with all this.  It’s really nice.

P: You too.  And I like that smile you keep giving me occasionally, when you like one of my answers. A: I am? P: Yeah.  It’s cute.  Next question.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

A: Sexual assault.

P: Yeah, pretty much anything related to abuse.  Not funny.

A: Moving on.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

P: Wow, that’s an interesting question.  So, I think I do okay about telling people stuff.  But if I’m being honest, I might regret not telling Paul he’s a great guy and I really appreciate everything he’s done for my mom.  And for me.  I mean, I think he knows, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually told him.  Not for any reason, just haven’t.  But maybe I should.

A: I’m sure he’d love that.  And yeah, I don’t think there’s anything I’d regret not telling you. [nudges him with her shoulder].  But I think I’d wish I told my dad that I’m glad we’re getting along again.  And I appreciate the support he’s given me about my college choices.  I just don’t do well being emotional around him.  He’s not great at that either.

P: But I bet he’d love to hear it. 

A: Yeah.  Okay, we’re holding each other accountable.  Sometime before the end of the year, so no major rush, just when it feels natural, we’re going to tell them both, Paul and my dad, what we just said.

P:  Deal.  How many questions are left? A: Just three.  Almost there.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

P:  Huh.  Assuming I have my camp necklace on and Riptide is in my pocket, I guess I’d want to grab maybe some pictures?  Or the Minotaur horn.  There’s not much stuff I’m that attached to otherwise, though.

A: Same.  My camp necklace, definitely, but if I have that on already…probably pictures.  Oh, my sketchbook.  I’d definitely grab my journal and my sketchbook.  Is it okay that that’s two things?

P: They’re in the same category, so sure.  Also, we’re making up our own rules as we go anyway, and I’m fine with that answer.

A: Great.  Moving on.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

P: These are some strange questions.  But I guess if the point is to really get to know somebody….Anyway, I’d be devastated, obviously, if something happened to you or my mom, same with Paul or Tyson…or my dad, but I forget about him sometimes for something like this because…well, you know.  But if we’re talking about disturbing, it’s Estelle, hands down.  Just because she’s still so little.  It doesn’t feel like anything should happen to her, like she should just be in this protective bubble because she’s a baby.  I don’t even want to think about anything happening to her.  So, your turn.

A: Ugh, I can’t even stand the thought of something happening to Estelle.  Talking specifically about my blood-related family, yeah, if something happened to my dad, or Bobby or Matthew, or even my stepmom, I’d be devastated.  And probably feel really guilty, somehow, too, for not spending enough time with them.  Most disturbing, though, would have to be if something happened to Magnus.  Just because, you know…he’s already dead.  So it would be awful not knowing what else happened to him or where he went, like if he’s trapped somewhere worse or something. [pauses]  And obviously, if something happened to you, I’d be completely heartbroken.  Then I’d stomp down to the Underworld and drag your butt back.

P [grins]: Obviously. A: Alright, last one.

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

A: Wow, this is kind of tough.  I mean, I already usually talk problems through with you.  And honestly, at this particular moment, I don’t have one. [pauses, looking pleasantly surprised] Wow.  I don’t have any serious problems right now.  That’s possibly the first time that’s ever happened.

P: Nice.  So nothing right now? A: Not really.  I mean, I’m a little nervous about starting college, especially with balancing UC Berkeley and New Rome, but I think it’ll be okay.  Any advice on how you’d handle that? P [small laugh]: Honestly?  Not well.  I don’t think I’d be great at running back and forth and balancing everything.  But you will be.  You’re good with organization and time management and everything, so you’re going to be fine, Wise Girl.  If I had to guess, I think you’re just nervous because you want to do well.  But you will.  Because you’re awesome.

A [smiling]: Aww, thanks, babe.  What about you?  Any problems right now? P [shakes head]: Nothing major right now.  Well, actually, now that I’ve said that…I’m kind of worried about my major.  Like for college.

A: Really?  Why?

P [shrugs]: I mean, marine biology kind of makes sense, because of my dad and all.  But I’m not like a major science guy or anything.  So I’m a little worried about it.  Any thoughts? A [considers for a few moments]:  That makes sense.  So it sounds like you’re a little worried you’ve chosen something that you can do, not necessarily something you want to do?

P: Yeah, pretty much.  I mean, I never really thought much about what I’d want to do for a major or a career.  I never thought I’d get this far.

A: That makes sense.  Do you want my advice?

P: Isn’t that the point of this question?  Also, yes, I’d want to hear it anyway.

A: I think you should just stick with it for this first semester, maybe this first year.  Most of the classes are gen eds anyway, so they’ll apply to any major.  Maybe keep an open mind during your classes and see if anything jumps out at you.  There might be something you’ve never even thought about that you end up loving.  And if you decide to change majors, I think that’s totally fine.  And I support you one hundred percent.

P: Thanks, Annabeth.  And I like that idea.  It makes sense.

A: Cool.  [leans forward and kisses him lightly on the lips].  So that’s the end of the questions.

P: Sweet.  Although that was kind of cool.  Is there anything else?

A: Yeah.  The last part is four minutes of eye contact.

P: Holy shit.  Four minutes?

A: That’s what it says.

P: Isn’t that awkward? A [rolls eyes]: Only if you make it that way, Seaweed Brain.  Just relax.  It’ll be fine.  [gets out phone for stopwatch again] Alright, time starts now.

[4 minutes elapse, which include some laughing, some comments, but also following the rules]

A: And that’s four minutes.  Done.

P: Cool.  So, what does that mean? A: Apparently we’re supposed to feel closer.  Do you think it worked?

P [considers]: Actually, yeah, I think so.  I mean, it was nice to talk about some different stuff that we might not have otherwise.  So yeah, I think it worked.

A: Agreed.  That was actually kind of fun.

P: Yeah.  But now can we just relax?  And maybe make out?  Just throwing that out there.

A: Gods, yes.

And that was the end of the question and answer portion of the evening.

[ishouldbedoinghw]

You Can't Erase Me

One Piece fanfic, part 10: Calico Jack

Previous parts are in my pinned masterlist.

A woman enslaved by the celestial dragons is found by a man with red hair. Angst and comedy ensues.

A/N: Y'all know the drill. This chapter is the one that inspired this entire story. I was driving and listening to this song when a great idea that I really hope doesn't suck exploded into my head. Also I finally got a new computer since I've been working a couple of jobs this summer before moving back to college.

Also I would like to preface this chapter by saying this has a good bit of dancing described in it. The only experience I have with dancing is country western swing dancing and white person line dancing. It might be bad. Dead dove do not eat.

TW: Bad descriptions of dancing and music, thirsting over a vampire, alcohol consumption, drunkenness, Shanks

The first swig from Maria's bottle was, frankly put, fucking terrible. This was the crap Shanks was always chugging?

As I spluttered, trying my best to hand back the bottle before I dropped it, Maria and her friend were giggling behind polite hands.

"Never had liquor before? Traveling with Red-Hair? And I'd bet money on you being almost ten years older than the two of us."

Almost ten years? How young were these girls? How old was I?

"Listen, I had some health problems, alright? And how old do you think-"

Maria's hands shot up in surrender. "Sorry, didn't mean anything by it, we didn't know."

Her friend, still slightly giggling, took the bottle from me and took a swig herself.

"Look, this stuff is cheap, so it isn't about tasting it, you've gotta just let it be nasty and focus on what it's doing to you." She handed it back to me, her long nails curled around the bottle neck.

It tasted just as nasty the second time, but at least I was prepared for it. I swallowed it quickly, doing my best to keep a straight face.

As Maria took the bottle back to hide it away, her friend started to study me, clicking her tongue occasionally. My face burned a bit at being studied again, and it made me wonder if I really looked as good as I felt.

"Maria, you really don't miss, do you?" She laughed, and started to head back down the hall, seemingly satisfied. "Let the newbie know what her big job is tonight, and have her watch during the first couple of songs, so she at least doesn't go in blind."

"Yeah, yeah," Maria called back, shaking her head. "A control freak, that one."

Fiddling with the lace on my corset, I watched Maria finish adjusting herself in the mirror. After she seemed satisfied, she beckoned me to follow her as she went down the hallway after her friend.

"So- what is it that I have to do, exactly?" I ask, nervously gripping my skirt, trying to adjust to walking in it.

"So, every week we have a night where we do the Calico Jack- one of the older, tougher girls is picked to find someone in the crowd to dance with to a song about running off with a pirate." She stopped to adjust a strap on one of her shoes, and I almost run into her. "I personally don't see the appeal in it, and neither does Delilah, but it always brings in a big crowd of rowdy men who pay plenty money to drink and feed their egos if the girl picks 'em."

"That's why we get a grown woman to do it, too- in case a fight breaks out over who gets picked, the dancer doesn't get hurt." She continues. "We try to stay away from the really wild ones- we had a big ginger muscleheaded prick get upset a while back, his blonde boy-toy or whatever had to drag him out."

My mouth had gone quite dry at this point, though whether it was from the liquor or my nerves I wasn't quite sure. I had to dance with a stranger? Hell, I don't think I'd ever danced before. My plans for tonight were to maybe dance with Benn, and then to just listen to something other than the crew's terrible singing. And yet, here I was, painted as a doll ad about to be strung up like a puppet because of some old woman I didn't even know.

"Do I-?"

"Yes, you have to do it, I'd like to keep my room and my nice-paying job, thank you very much." Maria was trying to sound confident and relaxed, but I could see the sweat starting to bead on her neck and face. "Listen, no one would question it if you just picked Red-Hair, and you'd likely avoid a fight that way too, no one would argue that he's handsome and powerful."

I started to argue about calling Shanks anything other than annoying, but I stopped myself- I couldn't deny she had a point. No one would recognize me as the girl he came with, and he was powerful enough to avoid confrontation with someone else. Shit, she might've just given me an easy way out of this mess. I would just get the one dance over with and-

"Of course, before that dance, you've gotta join the rest of the tavern dancers since we're short one."

Of course.

She shoved me, clearly seeing my face. "Listen, it really isn't as bad as it sounds. For whatever reason, the boss has faith in you. She doesn't just drag random strangers out of the crowd- well, at least not all the time." She said with a laugh.

As we neared the end of the hallway, I was expected to be met with some kind of music, or lights like before. Instead, the dance hall was dark and quiet, with only the light hum of hushed conversation. Maria was gripping my shoulder, and I could see her straining to get a glimpse of something off to our right. I tried to follow her gaze, but all I could get was dim outlines of figures, and the flash of something shiny reflecting the dim light of the hallway.

As Maria's grip tightened, chills shot through my body. A whisper from the right made the room a silent vacuum, and I strained to hear the words.

"Hickory, oak, pine and weed-" A small flame flickered in the distance, lighting up the face of the old woman who'd woken me up. Delilah. Her voice was softer, yet somehow stronger when she was singing. Perhaps it was the lack of grouch. A drum was the only instrument playing, only hitting one note to make a beat.

"Bury my heart underneath these trees-" My body froze, waiting for the adverse reaction I'd had when Emily had been preforming.

"And when a southern wind comes to raise my soul-" She drew out the last note in a slight vibrado, and I found myself wondering how the hell I knew that.

"Spread my spirit like a flock of crows." I saw the flash again, and as I focused, I could make out someone holding a guitar, a sleek, slim version of the one Yassopp owned but couldn't play.

"'Cause I loved ya for too long, I loved ya for too long," Her voice was getting stronger, and louder, the den-den mushi in front of her picking up more sound.

"I loved ya for too long-" She held the last note in a vibrado again, holding it out until she was nearly whispering again. Her voice was admittedly beautiful, if not a bit haunting.

"Old heat of a raging fire, Come and light my eyes Summer's kiss through electric wire- But I'll never die-"

The stage lights all came on at once, showing off just how massive it was. A full band stood to the left of Delilah, while a handful of the girls I'd seen earlier were standing to the right, all with their own den-den mushi. On the same beat, as Delilah shifted to a full belt on the end of "die," the girls burst into operatic backup vocals, and the band started playing at top volume. The drum continued at a slightly faster pace, and the guitar strummed at a slow, steady pace to match it, contrasting the passionate voices of Delilah and her choir.

"Sycamore, ash, moss and loam Wrap your roots all around my bones And when they come for me When they call my name Cast my shadow from a bellow's flame-"

Chills ran up my spine, and my heart seemed to seize in my chest. I panicked, thinking I would pass out again, but my breath remained steady, and my mind clear. What the hell was going on?

"Cause I loved ya for too long I loved ya for too long I loved ya for too long So let the storm come-"

My body trembled, my mouth was dry once again, and the back of my neck was coated in a sheen of sweat. My heart was pounding against my ribs, my eyes watered, and I wanted to scream.

"Old heat of a raging fire Come and light my eyes Summer's kiss through electric wire But I'll never die I will never die You can bury my body but I'll never die-"

It was the best thing I could ever remember experiencing. Like a piece of me I'd been searching for ever since I woke up on that damned ship had finally come back.

I loved music. I've always loved music. I could feel it in the depths of my soul, in every bone in my body.

My entire life, I have always loved music.

The way Delilah ripped through the vocals was a storm tearing through the fields of my mind. Every sound I could make out on that stage rocked me to my core.

Watching Delilah's passion was almost as good as listening to it. Her eyes seemed to be gleaming like fire, and she spit out every word as if she had lived through the song over and over again, like she'd truly meant all of it. I'd believe it if they said she was an immortal deity from her stage presence alone.

Her boots stomping caught my attention as she transitioned to the bridge. All instruments but the drum had stopped playing again, and I could hear the thunder of voices in the crowd join her.

"In the dead of night I'm gonna loose these chains Mmm, I'm gonna run and run and run and run and run I'm gonna run and run and run and run Coming for you again Oh, coming for you again-"

The instrumental that followed blew me away once again. I never knew someone could make the instrument Roux purposefully hid from Yassopp sound so damn beautiful. Leading up to the last run of the chorus, Delilah was screaming her vocals, and a new chill ran through my body.

I need to do that one day.

All I wanted, with my entire being, was to be singing these songs with as much passion as she did, in the hopes I could feel something other than fear, anger, or shame.

As Delilah sang the final chorus, she spread her arms, letting her large coat that had been hanging over her shoulders fall to the ground. She was surprisingly muscular for her age, and-

Holy shit, she didn't have any hands.

Her arms ended at the wrists, and were webbed in a messy array of scars. The crowd screamed at the reveal, whether out of fear or something else, I couldn't quite tell.

Maria started to cheer at my side, startling me. She started shaking my arm and bouncing up and down, still yelling her ass off. I didn't pay much attention to it, distracted by Delilah's performance. It wasn't that her lack of hands was a shock in itself; I'd seen where Shanks had lost his plenty. I simply wondered how in the world she'd slapped me so effectively earlier.

"You ready?" Maria yells in my ear, her voice fuzzy with all the noise.

"Ready for wh-" And she shoved me in the direction of the stage as the room grew dark again. I flailed about and stumbled a bit, before one of the male dancers, a dark-haired, freckled young man, caught my arm.

"Newbie, right? You know the Mull River Shuffle, yeah?" He hooks his arm in mine, pulling me to the opposite side of the now empty dance floor.

"The fucking what-"

"Yeah, Maria said you might not, don't worry, you just gotta follow my lead. You dance some, yeah?"

"No-"

The guitar starts a faster rhythm than before, and the lights flash on again, making my vision spotty. My partner squeezes my arm, catching my attention before he starts moving around the floor with the other dancers in a wide circle. The more we moved, the slower and dizzier I felt we were moving. The steps I took to mirror his were clumsy, and my neck burned in shame at how stupid I likely looked.

"You know, Maria failed to mention she got you drunk as hell." What?

"I'm not-"

"Not even the clutziest of kids are so unsure of where their own damn foot is. You're thinking way too hard, you've gotta trust yourself. The liquor is supposed to take away fear, not grace."

I'm not sure why I giggled, and as we paused to turn and move the opposite direction, my body still felt it was moving around.

"I'm about to spin you towards the middle, don't puke." He was irritated now, and I felt terrible. He hadn't asked for a shitty partner tonight, yet here I was. I just let him sling my body around, and I grew a bit lightheaded at the speed.

"That wasn't half bad, think you can go faster?" The relief that flooded me was almost overwhelming, and I couldn't help but giggle again. I'm not sure why the little phrase had made me so happy.

Trust yourself.

The words rang in my ear as the tempo of the song picked up again, and the group of dancers split down the middle, my partner shoving me gently to line up opposite him.

As everyone stepped toward the middle again to meet their partners, I did the same; although I was half a stride behind them. My partner made up for the time, quickly spinning us around and pushing me in the direction he'd come from.

The more I relaxed, and the more I let myself move and spin and step to the music, the more fun I let myself have. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind when Shanks had made me leave the ship, but I had to admit to myself that I was actually having a great time.

"Told you, just let go." He was smiling at me now, and I couldn't help but excitedly smile back.

"You know, I've never danced as far back as I can remember." I wasn't sure why it felt so good just to talk for the hell of it.

"Yeah, I could kind of tell that when we started."

I giggled again, then had to catch my breath as he spun me around again.

"Yeah, I don't think I've ever had so much fun."

It was his turn to laugh then, before we split into two lines again. He didn't have to push or pull me this time, and I was able to keep up with the pace of the rest of the line.

As the song ended, he pulled me over to Maria, who was still standing off to the side of the stage.

"You've got to stop giving me the drunk ones, man." He elbows Maria in the ribs, and she laughs, shoving him away.

"It looks like she got the hang of it by the end, be grateful she didn't vomit on you or something, Zutsu," she said, reaching over to fix my skirt.

"We've got Rove and Go next, you know that one?" Zutsu asks. "I'm not sure where the hell you came from, but I don't know anyone that doesn't know the Rove."

For some odd reason, I felt I did know the song, like it was some common knowledge that was ridiculous not to remember.

"Maybe? I'm not sure-"

"Good enough, maybe it'll jog your memory when you hear it." He pulled me back to the dance floor, into a line of dancers that snaked through the entire hall. "Listen, I usually take the lead on this one, but we'll stick to the back to keep you comfortable."

And keep me from embarrassing you. I couldn't even bring myself to be upset, Maria made it sound like the quality of performances were held in high regard by everyone here.

The tempo of this song started much faster than the last, the drums kicking in at full volume, followed by a fiddle that was one of the sweetest sounds I'd ever heard.

It was the first line of the song that sent a cold shock down my spine, and made sweat cling to my face.

Why shouldn’t she go she’s only ninety?

Delilah held out the last note of the line, and my skin grew clammy. I knew this song. I was sure I'd known this song almost as long as I had loved music itself. My hand shook in Zutsu's, and he squeezed it, muttering, "Don't puke yet," as he started stomping his feet on beat with the rest of the dancers. As if they had a mind of their own, my feet did the same.

I know the dance. I could remember every movement to the dance Zutsu was about to lead me through. I could hear it in my head, to the rhythm of the song, in counts of four.

Stomp, shuffle, stomp, shuffle-

Scoot back, back, back-

Away from your partner, back to your partner-

Holy shit.

"Look at you, you do know this one." Zutsu says, loosening his grip on my hand.

I wanted to cry, puke, and laugh all at once. I used to dance. I had to have grown up dancing. To my disappointment, I couldn't remember any more dances offhand, but it did little to stifle my excitement.

Every step, every dip, and every spin made my heart feel as it were flying through the sky over the bright ocean, free as a wild bird. I was addicted to the dizziness, the breathlessness, and the feeling of my body moving with the music. This, right here, was something I'd been born to do. I felt it in my soul the same way I'd felt when I heard Delilah sing. My body, mind, and spirit felt at peace, and I felt like I had some kind of purpose other than being the crew's fragile pet.

"Hey-" Zutsu's voice cut through my thoughts. "During the bridge, when the fiddle goes crazy, we don't keep in line, we'll split off and start two-stepping around the audience, try to get them to dance, yeah?"

"Oh- alright, got it," I said quickly. Relief swept through me as I realized I knew exactly what he was talking about. Two-stepping with a partner was one of the most basic skills I'd learned when I was just a kid- how I knew that, I had no idea. I couldn't picture memories so much as feel it, my mind trying to grasp some physical evidence that wasn't there.

Zutsu pulled me to face him, and he kept his back in the direction we traveled as we kept a fast paced two-step. I fell into the rhythm he set easily, and almost wept at how at home it all felt: the fast pace, the grip he had on my hand, and even the burning in my right calf and left hip.

"You had to have been holding out on me before," Zutsu laughed, guiding me in an impromptu spin that had a small part of the audience cheering. "You dance as naturally as you breathe when you know what the hell you're doing."

I giggled back, heart soaring at the compliment. It made me want to try more, to do something other than-

"You wanna try swing dancing some?" He asks, as if he read my mind.

I nodded eagerly, my heart pounding again as I recall the term, knowing exactly what he meant.

He pushed me out and away from him, before pulling me back in. I knew the steps by heart, I could feel them in my feet and fingers as I ducked under his arms and spun behind him, before twisting around as he caged me in his arms. He spun me around as fast as I could twice, before finishing with a dramatic dip, my "hair" nearly touching the floor.

"Please tell me you're sticking around after tonight, you're the first partner I've had that could move so damn fast."

I clicked my tongue, looking up at him with a twinge of disappointment. "I'm honestly sorry, but I'm just passing through with a group of- with a crew," I finished hastily.

He raised a brow. "Red-Haired Pirates, right? I'm pretty sure I saw you come in on the captain's arm."

I grimaced at the notion my disguise hadn't worked as well as I'd hoped. "I- yeah," I muttered weakly, sheepishly looking at the floor.

"Don't sweat the whole Emily thing," he shrugged, and did his best to wipe a few droplets of sweat from his cheek. "I only knew it was you because I've been staring you in the face, and I was close by when they dragged you backstage. No one in the audience will be able to tell." He poked me playfully. "Not even your Calico Jack of the night."

I groaned at the mention of that stupid dance. "Why do I-"

"Please don't get me booted from this place by answering that honestly. I'd hate to say anything untoward about my boss and her- interesting notions."

I decided not to press the issue, and to take comfort in the fact that Shanks was here for me to make an easy pick. I was also itching with curiosity to hear every song of the night, and to see if I could recall any more dances.

I wasn't sure my legs could take another step as the song finally ended. Zutsu made sure I took a long swig of water and sat down for a minute before disappearing backstage, leaving me with a very bouncy and tipsy Maria.

"That was- burp- incredible!" she shouted, throwing an arm around me. "No offense, but I thought it'd all go to shit."

I grimaced, choosing to focus on the compliment. "Yeah, thanks."

"You knowwww- the next dance is allll yours," she giggled, then nearly knocked me over trying to wave at one of her friends.

My mouth went dry. Already? I thought I'd have a couple more dances to get more comfortable, maybe figure out something simple to start the song with.

"Don't even sweat it, baby, you'll do great." She fixes one of the stray curls stuck in the top of my corset. "Plus, you look great, so it won't even matter."

Her reassurance did little to ease the nausea building in my gut.

---

I'll never forget the song that echoed through the room next. It wasn't anything spectacular, like the operatic section of the first performance. It was just a small tradition in a dance hall that would one day outlive me. But one moment in that song changed my life forever.

The Calico Jack song was an old ballad about a young lady running from her abusive marriage to live on the sea after meeting a handsome pirate in a tavern.

Of course, the only thing I knew at the time was that I had walk around at least once in the room, and pick a partner before the first chorus of the song started playing.

"It was a borin' Evenin' Down at the tavern My husband left for sea again And I was sick of waitin'-"

The song started, and I could feel my heart in my throat as I started my walk around the room.

All you have to do is walk once around and then to Shanks.

My steps felt too loud, the room was too big, and I was moving too fast, not really paying attention to who was actually there.

Look up, look up, look up, look up-

I tried to convince the crowd that I was looking, studying for the most eligible one there. I couldn't convince myself into thinking I was giving a good performance, however. My heartbeat grew louder as the audience cheered when I walked by, and I gave a weak smile, trying to look like I knew what the hell I was doing.

"Sick of drinkin' And thinkin' And questioning my measure Then suddenly A breeze came through the door-"

And then I caught a glimpse of him.

The most beautiful man I could ever think up in my head was sitting on the outermost edge of the crowd, sipping a glass of wine. He had a feathered hat that hung low over his face, but it wasn't enough to conceal his eyes- bright gold, with rings of orange, the strangest eyes I'd ever seen. His hair and beard were nearly black, but against his pale skin I could see the slightest tinge of brown. He was all sharp angles; high cheekbones, a sharp jawline and nose, even his facial hair was shaved into neat lines.

"He was smilin' Blindin' The pirate, Jack Rackham He tipped his hat and that was that I was in love with him-"

I would've liked to say that the great golden sword leaning on the table was what I saw next, but I couldn't. His large coat was ornate and expensive-looking; it was also completely open, his torso completely bare, save for a large golden cross hanging from his neck. Damn. That's all I could think- damn. He was, with no other way to put it, absolutely gorgeous.

And the little, nagging, tempting thought that I both curse and thank God for to this day wouldn't hush in my head. Ask him to dance.

And I wanted to. So, so, badly did I want to walk right up with all the confidence in the world and ask him to dance with me. It felt as if my entire body was burning at the prospect of even looking at him again.

"Oi, over here, Spooky!" Shanks was in front of me now, grinning and waving like the idiot he was. I mustered a weak smile back, quickening my pace and trying to ignore the feeling that the entire room was watching my every move.

Benn had to reach over and keep Shanks from standing to pull me into a hug, which I thanked him for with a polite smile. Yasopp was trying his best to make me lose my composure with stupid faces, and I was failing miserably at keeping my lips from twitching.

Maria was giving me a cheerful thumbs up, Zutsu and her blonde friend, whose name I really needed to learn, by her side as I passed around a second time. This round, I couldn't help but look for the beautiful man. Half of me hoped he wasn't there, and I wouldn't have to worry about getting up the courage to ask him anything, but the other half would have been crushed if he was gone.

He was still there, still sipping from his wine glass, in the exact same position as before, and still as devastatingly gorgeous.

Ask him, you'll regret it if you don't.

Yeah, sure, and embarrass myself to pieces if he refuses me.

I paused for an instant, hearing what sounded like the first line of the pre-chorus from Delilah. Shit shit shit shit shit-

I had to hurry along, or I'd make a fool of myself regardless of who I picked.

Shanks. I'll just go to Shanks. Maybe Benn, if he's too drunk.

But my feet carried me, trembling, to the man sipping his wine.

"Calico Jack Calico Jack I've never met a man here looking like that-"

Still trembling, I held out my hand. His eyes seemed to cut into me like knives, and he didn't move.

But neither did I.

The room had gone silent, and all I could hear was Delilah's voice and the band. Beads of sweat gathered on my forehead, and my hand faltered slightly. I did my best to give a polite smile to him, praying he would hurry up and either refuse me or take my hand.

"Calico Jack You've met your match Calico Jack Won't you give me my heart back-"

I started to turn away, ready to just ask Shanks, or piss myself, whichever came first, before I felt it.

His hand wasn't particularly warm, and it was rough with calluses that I presumed were from the giant sword sitting beside him. His touch was tentative for a split second, before committing and fully grabbing it before standing.

Damn, he was tall. I was eye-level with his collarbone, and was trying my best not to gawk at the chest below it when he gingerly grabbed my waist. I jumped at first, forgetting why I'd come up to him in the first place.

"Your friends have been trying to get you to back away since they saw you looking this way. Should you have listened?"

As bored as his tone sounded, his voice melted me like butter. Fuck. This was embarrassing.

"I just- it felt right to ask you," I blabbered, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

He let out a hmf before stepping closer toward me. I snapped out of my trance at the proximity, and hurriedly stepped out toward the dance floor, pulling him with me. Maria and the rest of the dancers were in my peripheral, all looking as if I'd died in front of them.

Was it so hard to believe I could get a good-looking stranger to dance with me? I'd thought that at least Maria had some faith in me.

We settled into a fast-paced rotating two-step, and as we passed around the room, the audience grew rowdy again. I hadn't realized my decision had held so much weight here, but perhaps the little custom meant more to people here than I realized.

I dared to look back up at his face, and instantly started to sweat again as his gazed pierced through me. Shit, he was even more beautiful up close. He'd taken the lead in the dance now, and surprisingly, held himself with the grace of an experienced dancer. Judging by his looks, I could have guessed he'd waltzed or something fancy like that at some point in his life, but he didn't seem the type to be in a dark, noisy place like this. Nor did he seem to be the type to take part in dancing recreationally as a whole.

Too nervous to say anything directly to him, I offered him my best version of a pleasant smile. He remained stoic, but I could have sworn I saw the corner of his mouth prick up.

I was trying my damnest to ignore the lovely shape of his lips when he asked, "What's your name?" it was a piss-poor, stiff attempt at being polite, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

"Jett."

"How lively."

I hummed in response, unsure of what to say.

"Your first dance tonight was... interesting to watch."

Oh, that was mortifying. My face burned, and I could feel my palms growing sweaty.

"I, uh, I'm new here, I hadn't danced in a while, and-"

"You were drunk?" The corner of his lip was quirked up again, just barely noticeable.

"Yeah, but-"

"And now-"

"There's no need for you to be an asshole," I muttered, my embarrassment reaching my tongue before common sense could hold it.

He gave the impression that not many people stood up to him with the way his brows furrowed just slightly. Thankfully for me, he also seemed to want to keep his composure.

He liked being in control.

Perhaps it was the lingering effects of alcohol that made me gather the courage, but that one slip in his stoic expression made me determined to make him crack.

Perhaps a small part of me wanted to see him really smile.

"So- you've been watching me tonight?"

"Don't flatter yourself."

"That didn't answer the question."

"Please, if I wanted to watch someone drunkenly stumble about, I wouldn't have come all the way here." He was trying so hard to stay grumpy, it was laughable.

As controlled as his expression was, he had one fatal tell- those pretty eyes. And they seemed to like to shift the slightest bit down every now and then before looking me in the face again. There.

"You know, you might think my dancing is subpar, but you certainly don't mind peeking at my-"

His grip tightened on my waist, although his face remained neutral. Leaning down, the brim of his hat grazed my temple.

"You are the last one who can make any comments about any sort of inappropriate glances, dear." As he withdrew, he brushed a stray curl over my shoulder.

I hated that he was right, and his touching wasn't doing much to help my case.

Neither was that very open coat that revealed a little more of his waist each time stepped with his right foot. What was somehow more impressive was that he was completely unfazed by dancing. I was sweating and aching, and a few annoying bits of my "hair" kept sticking to the back of my neck.

As thrilled as I was at the chance to dance with such a handsome man, I couldn't help but think it was such a pity he turned out to be so glum. Witty, certainly, but still a bit sour. To be fair, I also couldn't judge him based on his attitude, as I also wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.

We were actually quite alike, I found, as the dance ended, and the two of us were promptly pulled aside by a very loud ginger man. It seemed the both of us were equally as annoyed by him.

"Oi, Hawkeyes, I didn't know you had that in you," Shanks was slightly slurring his words, but still remained perfectly upright.

Hawkeyes? Oh, shit-

I'd just danced with the world's strongest swordsman, a fucking warlord, Dracule "Hawkeyes" Mihawk.

[therealgchu]

Snippet Sunday - Anamnesis: The Pilot

i started writing a new series in the Anamnesis stories. This will be a multi-chapter fic about how Sam became one of the best pilots in the Settled Systems.

i might create a new title graphic, but i haven't decided. i also haven't decided on a title of the story. so far, it's tentatively titled, The Pilot. but, it's a lot more than just about Sam learning to fly.

the first chapter takes place when he's 6 and going off-world for the first time.

for all of my other fics check them out here on ao3.

tagging the coemancer crew, and anyone else that has some art to share.

sneak peek

Sam thought for a moment, then asked, “How does the nav computer know how to do that?”

“You know that planets and moons and stars move, right? They always move the same path. The nav computer has all of that information.”

“But how does it do it?”

His father snorted, “Math, Son. You’d have to ask your mother if you want to know more about calculus. I never had much of a head for science.”

“OK, I will!” and he jumped down off his father’s lap.

“Sam! Sam! I wasn’t finished!” his dad called out as the boy scampered off to find his mother. 

He found his mom in the galley putting away food for the trip. “Mom! How does cal… calcluess,” Sam’s mouth twisted as he tried to reproduce the unfamiliar word, “work? Dad said to ask you.”

His mother smiled and ruffled his wavy blond hair, “Did he now?” She laughed. “I think calculus is a bit beyond a six year old, even for one as bright as you. But, maybe I can give you an idea how it works.” Sam sat down at the galley table while his mother grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from the desk in the other hab.

In as simple of terms as possible, she tried to explain how math can predict movement. Sam, wide-eyed as ever, tried to understand what she was saying, but it was just too much for his six-year old brain to take in. This time. His mother saw his frustration and lack of understanding, and gave her son a hug. “It’s OK that you don’t understand. This is really hard math, especially for a six year old. You’ll figure it out later.”

“You mean when I’m eight?” he asked.

His mother nodded and smiled, “Sure, we can try again when you’re eight. You’re smart enough that you might even figure it out before then.”

Just then his father came in, “We’re all set, Grace. You and the boy should get strapped in. We have clearance to leave at any time.”

“Can I sit up with you in the cockpit, Dad?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know…” his dad started, reluctance written all over his face.

“Jacob, come on. It’s Sam’s first time off-world,” his mother coaxed. “How often can someone say that? It should be memorable.”

“It could be dangerous. You never know what’ll happen,” his father replied back.

“Jacob,” his mother said throatily, standing up and walking over to him. She gently touched his arm and smiled softly, “What’s the worst that could happen? He looks up to you so much. It would make him happy.” 

Sam’s father looked at him, then looked at his mother, then sighed and smiled, “You know I’ll do anything when you look at me like that. Come on, son,” he beckoned Sam, “you can sit on my lap as we make the jump.”

“Yayyy!!” the little boy shouted as he hopped off the chair and ran back to the cockpit.

“No running on the ship, Sam!” his father reprimanded, which did nothing to slow down the rambunctious six year old.

Grace smiled again at Jacob and kissed him on his cheek. “Thank you. You made him very happy,” she said.

“Anything for you, darlin,” Jacob replied and kissed her. He turned and started to make his way back to the cockpit at a much more leisurely pace than his son. “Sam, don’t touch anything until I get there,” he admonished.

“I won’t!” the little boy shouted back.

[m34gs]

For the fanfic ask game: 4, 7, 8, 13, 27!

Thank you for the ask, friend! I am very excited to answer now that I am feeling better!💜💜 (from this post)

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

I have...SO MANY. You have no idea. I even cleaned up my folders, and somehow I ended up with MOre??? I'm truly hopeless. This brain doesn't rest. So, I think I'll indulge myself and talk about more than just one :)

Rin is Human: a Blue Exorcist au where Rin is the only human in a school of monsters (I am a sucker for this kind of plot/setting)

Four Brothers: I want to write a really serious Blue Exorcist fic in an AU where none of them are demons or exorcists, where an overworked Mephisto and a heartbroken Amaimon have to suddenly raise their 16 year old brothers Rin and Yukio after Shiro's untimely death. It will be an angsty feast (but I promise no one aside from Shiro dies).

Teach Me to Play: Twisted Wonderland Kalim/Idia fic where Kalim stumbles across the board game club meeting one day and becomes enamored by how expressive Idia is when playing; and subsequently begs Idia to teach him video games and board games so that he can continue seeing those expressions.

Octavinelle wants Trey's baking: for this one I am going to share the notes I have thus far because I feel you'll appreciate them. This is based on one of our many many conversations:

Azul wants Trey’s cooking in his kitchen; he keeps trying to get Trey over there working for him. Trey is confused and also a little nervous that Octavinelle has such an interest in him. Riddle wants to know why the fuck the Octotrio are trying to steal his vice housewarden. Cater is ugly-crying in the corner and eating ice cream straight from the tub because he thinks his boyfriend is gonna get eaten by the fish mafia. Ace and Deuce make Cater’s crying worse.

7. your preferred writing fonts

Times New Roman. Why? Because it's what I'm used to. Yeah, now the default font in Word is calibri and I've gotten used to it, but a long time ago it was Times New Roman and let me tell you, I used to write so much on my family's computer that it became a comfort for me to see (my sister and I both used to take turns writing and we would write for hours and hours; and my mother never denied us our writing time as long as chores and homework were done because she was happy we were being creative and also not getting into trouble). It's a bit nostalgic and it looks right to me. Though, Calibri has grown on me and if I had to choose a second, I would choose that one.

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

This is so hard. Honestly, if I'm going to write a sequel I usually have it planned before the first fic is done. So, unless it's for one of our ongoing aus (Bar and Saw) or a fic that I've already started writing a sequel for, I don't think that I really would...

But in the spirit of the question, if I *had* to choose, I might write a sequel to If I Lay Here, my Haikyuu!! Shizumo/Yachi fic for whumptober 2023. In the fic, I left off with the girls deciding to run away after Yachi's mother disapproved of their relationship. If I were to do a sequel, it would probably be a snapshot of their time finding themselves and setting themselves up in their new life together.

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

I, too, am thinking of writing for Link Click. Honestly, it's so good. I don't know if I'll wait for Season 3 before I start, it depends on what I want to write and how Season 2 goes (I'll probably decide once I finish watching S2, honestly, but since I do a lotta writing in AUs, I could easily see myself writing for the fandom before S3). I also am sorely tempted to write for Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, but I'm less confident in that my grasp of the characters in that one, so it might be a while before I venture there.

27. your favorite part of the writing process

I have many favourite parts! One of them is the planning process! I love thinking about an idea and rotating it in my mind until I have a shiny little plot outline :D

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Moon threatens to scrap Good Eclipse, and he panics and makes a run for it. Sets the universe to random, the only parameters being that there’s no Moon wanting to kill him on the other end. He also orders the Computer to delete all portal data as he jumps through, buying him some more time before Moon can hunt him down.

He finds himself in… a desert? No Moon in sight, so that’s good, at least. It takes him a moment to process that he’s in post apocalypse land (he never had the chance to game so he doesn’t recognize the similarities to Fallout). He’s got his dimensional travel chip, but without Moon’s Computer he’ll have to do a lot of calculations manually. No problem. He’s safe, for now.

He approaches a broken down house on it’s last legs, and takes a rest. “Here’s to a new life.” He mutters to himself, leaning against the wall. Rolling his half-finished Star on the ground. It’s never been more much than a paperweight, and it’s even less useful here.

Lunara, meanwhile, feels like blowing up the remnants of society again. Good Eclipse feels the ground shake as something violently explodes nearby, and gets up to poke his head out of the nearest whole and investigate. Lamenting his ruined break.

Lunara catches sight and immediately investigates the new arrival. He hasn’t seen another animatronic in ages, besides that Sun he blasted. And he doesn’t even recognize this one. He’s curious.

Good Eclipse quickly scoops his orb into his pocket, and tries to have a nice conversation with the strange star-weilding animatronic. His voice sets of red alarms in the back of Lunara’s head, but he’ll ignore it for now. He’s busy playing this loser for a fool.

Lunara mentions how Good Eclipse seems weirdly calm for being in a destroyed wasteland. And Good Eclipse replies with “Better than being scrapped for parts to try and fix a man who’s already dead.” Then he mutters “If that still didn’t work, I bet he’d have torn apart my code for answers next.”

Lunara decides that that’s interesting. Starts prodding at his trauma. Good Eclipse asks if he knows who Sun and Moon are, and Lunara proceeds to launch into Part 1 of his little story.

At first, Good Eclipse thinks it might be about him, but it doesn’t take long for him to decide that it’s not. After all, why would he steal the Star, or make another animatronic? That doesn’t sound anything like him.

He mentions that he has a Star, but it was never finished. And now it never will be. He mutters about wishing he could’ve used it to fix things. He pulls out the little orb to show Lunara. A blank, lifeless Star. Utterly worthless.

Lunara swipes it and starts playing around with it like a toy. Good Eclipse protests but lets him have it. It’s not like it’s useful, he doesn’t even know why he took it with him. Sentimentality, he supposes.

“Hey, I just realized, I never introduced myself, did I? I’m Eclipse. Thanks for… talking to me, I suppose. It’s been a long, long while since I’ve had a nice conversation.” 

Lunara freezes, immediately full of hate. He tells him he’s got one minute to hide. And when Lunara finds him, he’’s getting nuked. Good Eclipse is startled, having no idea what he did to piss off his new… almost friend? Acquaintance? Lunara starts a countdown and Good Eclipse scrambles to find a hiding place.

As Lunara searches, he shares the rest of his story. Dropping the nicknames to use the real ones instead. Causing Good Eclipse to mentally question what the absolute fuck is wrong with the other him. He then wonders why he’s bothering to hide. He doesn’t have anything to live for. Not really. Why did he even bother running from Moon?

Good Eclipse comes out of hiding, and calls out to Lunara, telling him exactly where he is. Lunara asks him why he’s giving up so easily, disappointed. He wanted to watch Eclipse struggle futilely for his life. He didn’t take enough time to savor it the first time. 

“I’m… tired. Of everything. If my life is always gonna be like this, there’s no real point in trying. Just… get it over with already.” His only regret is running. If he stuck around with Moon, then maybe some use could’ve been made of his parts.

Lunara… hesitates. He doesn’t know why. He’s never hesitated before. He steels himself, ands asks for any last words. Good Eclipse apologizes for never being enough. And for his other self hurting Lunara so badly.

And Lunara… pulls a similar stunt to the one with Sun. Fake crying, fake guilt, etc. Good Eclipse hesitates for a second, before leaning down to hug him. Saying he understands what it’s like for nobody to want him. To never be good enough for your maker. To have no idea how to fix everything you broke.

Lunara starts crying for real. It’s his first hug. He’s been so alone for so long. He doesn’t know how to handle this, it’s making him feel so much. They stay like that for a long while. Possibly an hour or two.

Good Eclipse passes out from low charge during the hug. And Lunara mutters that maybe he’ll keep this one.

Okay I love this one so much :) yes, ADOPTION! Adopt the boy!!

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - Endless Act 3 quests

Spoilers below the cut!

OH MY GOD there’s too many things in Rivington…….. Luckily it seems most of these quests are small and self-contained so I can play by slowly advancing through areas and finishing whatever NPC thing is there before moving on?

Hey fellow dark urge players - have you ever noticed that if you look in the magic mirror, it resets your tav’s name back to The Dark Urge? And you will have to retype out the name you want? It does not do this for normal tavs. I wonder if this is just a bug. MORE interesting would be if they did it on purpose, and you are constantly having to reassert your new identity.

I was going through some old papers and letters and in a roundabout way realized there was a whole cutscene with Karlach that I missed back in Moonrise Towers. If you approach the bugbear trader with Karlach on your team, you will get a whole scene about an old friend of hers from Avernus. I love that there are little details like this in the game, and even though I am uncovering I think all or close to all of the little plot points, there will still be additional surprises like this if I replay with different teammates.

God, Rivington and especially Wyrm’s Crossing are so damned full of people. My computer is just lagging the fuck out. Not inspiring. I wish there was some way to optimize this better. Maybe reduce the rendering radius even more or something I dunno?

I found Arfur and his delightful little plot to blow up refugee children with toy bombs! What a delight that was. Too bad for this motherfucker, my brain-scrambled durge tav imprinted like a baby chick on the tiefling refugees during his first few days off the nautiloid, and this guy’s ass is now grass.

I’ve noticed that online guides seem to be incomplete (A SHOCK!) about how to resolve the situation with him, saying that you must either side with Arfur and the squatters leave, or else you side with the squatters which causes Arfur to go to Sharess’ Caress, and you can confront him there later about the plot. Me, I’m trying to take this enormous area in little pieces and I don’t really feel like opening up yet another new area yet - what if I want to deal with him right here and now?

There might be other dialogue branches to get to the same result, but here’s what I did: if you use detect thoughts during the confrontation, you can see Arfur is nervous about the squatters finding his basement. You can ask him about his basement, then ask him if you should go check it out. He will lose his patience and instruct his hired goons to attack. Once you kick their asses, (which btw you can safely do, as far as I can see, this fight does not aggro anyone else in the area) he stays in the area without running off, waiting for you to make a decision.You are then free to go and explore the basement and do the whole exploding toys quest. When Manip Nestor tells you to go find the one responsible for this, Arfur is still standing right there in front of his house, and you can finish the quest right here instead of going all the way to Sharess’ Caress. I’m assuming this conclusion is all exactly the same as if it was at Sharess’ Caress: you can agree to let him go, you can accept his bribe, or you can insist he’s going to be arrested. Then he walks away, presumably off to turn himself in at the jail like a good boy lmao, and the squatters thank you for allowing them to stay. Easy peasy and no need to go track Arfur down in some brand new area.

OMG Tara is so cute. If you approach her with Gale, she has a longer conversation with you. Is that the only time we see her?? Please say no! I love Tara so much!

Hey so I talked to the ironhand gnomes, went up through the ladder in their hideout, and discovered, surprisingly, that it leads to the smith’s rooms??? I wanted to ask him about it, why he has a secret hatch that leads to a domestic terrorist organization, but when I came through the hatch, I found he had been murdered by Orin!!! Is it possible to talk to him somehow that I missed?

Speaking of Orin - I know a lot of people are annoyed with her “ooooh it’s Orin, what an unexpected surprise!” schtick, but I actually do like the way she pops up. I like how you start speaking to an NPC and the conversation slowly starts to get more and more deranged. Before I realize it’s Orin, there is a second where it’s a genuine “what the hell is happening?” reaction. What I think the problem with Orin is, is that it happens too close together. Like, I spoke to the guard at the refugee camp, then extremely shortly after that, I spoke to the blacksmith and found her again. I am less annoyed with this concept, I think it’s cool, I kind of like the implication that Orin is out there gathering intel on you so you maybe need to watch what information you give out to random strangers, I just think the meetings needed to be a bit more spaced out, and it might avoid that annoyance that some players have with her.

I loved the courier’s zhentarim note that they hadn’t heard from the group in Waukeen’s Rest for a while. In my game, I killed all those guys when I found their hideout. I think it’s neat you have options to ally with them, but my tav personally has no use for a mafia that deals in slaves and tadpoles. If you didn’t kill the zhents in Waukeen’s Rest, does the letter still say they’ve lost contact, or does it change and say something else?

I’m finding an awful lot of murdered refugees all strewn about. I’m not exactly sure what’s happening here. I know Orin is being shitty, I know we have these doppleganger freaks, and I know there’s other stuff going on as well that I haven’t even explored yet, so who knows. I wish there was some kind of reaction line from tav or companions or something? Like. When we approached the blighted village, they commented on the dead villagers on the road. Here, I climbed down a well and found like four murdered refugees all in a pile, and there’s no comment??

I LOVED the weirdness of finding a child next to the southern checkpoint gate that was actually voiced by a real child, and not an adult VA. Very very jarring! As this is the only actual child voice in the entire game that I’ve seen so far, I assume this must be one of the dev’s kids that they put in to be cute, and I think that’s fun.

[or-something-better]

Sam & Dean Free Run

September 12, 2022 

Dean

waiting for Patience to get in the car

Sam

I toss my pack into the back set of the Impala and climb into my usual front set spot. Be nice to not be the one driving.

Dean

I start the car, turn the radio on and Asia starts playing well I'll be damned! It’s not even Tuesday! laughs as I pull off heading down the road

Sam

Makes a face I guess it's always Tuesday some place. Just ignores the song

Dean

Sorry Sammy. driver picks the music...only I didn't pick it... And shotgun shuts his cakehole. So, what do we wanna do after coffee?

Sam

well, I have a small to-do list that I assigned to myself. Was thinking that I might try to knock out one or two, but really not holding much draw for me today. So, I guess I'm just sort of free...

Dean

That’s still a thing? What was on the list? We might be able to

Sam

Just finishing up grunt work. Some cabinet drawers need to be reversed in their cases, because Ruby and I had to swap the number system of files to make them compatible with the new computer program. Doesn't take any brain power, just  the manual change over. I guess that's the biggest one You know there's a really good coffee shop new the Campus in Beloit. It's about 15 miles further, but you'd like that cups I'm sure

Dean

Are we talking the cabinets in the New Orleans bunker?

Sam

No. No these stay here. Their 100% online now, so we can travel with them instantly where ever we go. Just have to manually switch the drawers so people here can get to stuff fast when we need it. My phone in my pocket rings and I pull it out to see who’s calling, and turn it to show Dean It’s Garth… Answering the phone I hold it to my ear Hey, Garth. How’s things going? I listen for just a minute and my head starts to nod. Pretty sure we know where that is, hold on a second… Dean, Garth is asking about the cemetery up near the interstate, just before we cross into South Dakota. Do you remember it? Pretty sure we had that one case there… listens again to what Garth is saying Yeah Garth, he says to tell you Dean that it was the place you ganked that witch spirit, the one with the green mold issue…

Dean

Oh wait so all the information and files at the New Orleans you have at the touch of a button now. That’s pretty awesome... And what? Garth.... Yeah i know the place. What’s going on there?

Sam

Listening to Garth once again Yea, send me the address and information that you have. I open the paper map and measure off distance. Guessing we could be there in 4-5 hours. Just before dark maybe. I listen to his explicit directions, this one is a regular salt and burn with a bit of added twist. No, that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll call you back when we roll into town. I listen again and smile You too Garth, talk soon. I hang up the phone and check to make sure the information texted trough. It had So, sounds pretty straight forward. Family terrorized by a ghost. Usual salt and burn with a twist… Garth is clear over in Minnesota and was hoping we'd be closer

Dean

Ok go figure as usual... Nice calm relax day just turned into "lets go salt and burn a bitch". Well still getting coffee on the way. Wait....what kind of twist? pull into the parking lot head for the drive thru to order coffees

Sam

Garth said that along with the salt, we have to also throw white roses onto the body first, as ,any as we can find. Then cover with salt and burn it all. Ever heard of that?

Dean

White roses? What’s the significance of that? Is that like a weird respect thing for a douchebag ghost killing people?

Sam

Maybe it has some kind of like to the family, or to the curse that's effecting that all. He didn't really give me much more than that, you know Garth. But he did say time of a factor and we should hurry

Sam

Dean, order me a Grande Black, with ginger and turmeric.

Dean

Time is a factor being 6-8 hours away..... He thought we were the closest to that? What the hell was he on? the person on the speaker comes on asking to take the order yeah I’d like a Grande Black with a ginger and turmeric and the biggest black coffee you got

Alex

drive up and coffee shop and park and walk in smell the coffee air ahh that smell good

Sam

shrugs I don't know Dean, he just sounded like Garth always sounds. Won't hurt us to check it out for him. We didn't have plans when we left the Bunker, now we do

Dean

Alright fine.... But if this turns out to be another wild goose chase.. Hey is that bear's car? pointed in the parking space nearby

Sam

Leans forward to look at the side window Sure looks like it. Why don't you go see if she'd like to come with us. She could probably need to blow off a little steam after how things have been.

Dean

Here’s an idea why dont you text her since we are sitting in the drive thru I cant just get out and walk inside.... pulling up to the window I hand off my card and receive the coffees thank hand you your coffee

Sam

Turns my phone on and send a text to Alex "Dean and I are in the Drive Thru and getting ready to go do a case for Garth, Want to come with? hits send Sips my coffee, it's perfect Mmm, good place. I'm going to have to remember this one Dean, why don't you pull around by where Alex parked

Dean

pull the car out of drive thru after we get our coffee and drive back around and pull into the space next to Alex’s car see if you can find her

Alex

Felt my phone buzz and pull out my phone and text Sam back I am inside Stand looking at menu

Dean

Sam text her back tell her we need to know if she’s coming we have a long drive ahead of us

Sam

I toss my phone onto the front seat and just get out of the car to go inside. I see Alex at the counter and walk over. Hey, Alex... Dean and I need to head out. Do you want to join us or do you have other things going on today?

Dean

I watch you get out... time is factor.... Yeah

Sam

I spoke to Alex for a minute and gave her our information, as much as I knew anyway. and then headed back to the car Alex has got a couple of things she has to finish first for the kids, then she said she'd follow after us. I gave her the info, so it looks like it's you and me.

Dean

Ok if anyone else texts or calls we can have them meet us there. puts the car in reverse backing out of the parking space then drive and take off down the road so what do we know about what’s going on in South Dakota?

Sam

It’s a case Garth is working out in Minnesota, family being terrorized by and uncle. Uncle was buried in the cemetery we're headed to. Garth just said flower, salt and burn. Thinks a minute but when is it ever that simple, you're right. Let me see if I can get any information on the Minnesota family. I pull out my laptop

Dean

I thought garth was in Minnesota and the case he called you about is SD?

Dean

The whole reason he called is because he couldn’t get to it himself

Sam

Gives Dean a closer look You want me to drive? Garth is hands on with the family trying to keep them safe. He needs us to gank the ghost. This family used to live in SD, moved after the Uncle was buried there

Dea

I can drive just going by what you said. So he’s on the case but needs US to go to the cemetery to dig up and burn...

Sam

Finds some local articles about the family Turns out this family has old money. A second great grandfather held onto land that the rail roads needed access to. I read further Work out for him, instead of just being bought out. The railroad gave him lease type payment and also kick back dividends. The guy made millions. Scroll some more Seems like family strife of one reason or another since.

Dean

So who’s the ghost and why is it a threat?

Sam

Closes my laptop The things people do for money... Turns the phone on and checks Garth's text The original grandfather, one who made the money. William Steward-Barns.... Guess maybe granddad doesn't like the way his decedents are using his millions

Dean

So what does that have to do with the uncle buried on the border of SD?

Sam

looks like they are the one and the same. If I had to guess, I'd say maybe someone who married into the family might have only done it to get control of the financials. Thinks about how that could work I guess there are a lot of terrible ways to grow up. Having everything that money can buy doesn't ensure happiness.

Dean

What do you mean? Uncle and grandfather have 2 different means how would he be their uncle and grandf- oh. Yeah.....nevermind... continues driving that’s all sorts of messed up.... Great family.... clears throat and keeps driving

Sam

There wasn't really anything left to say about the horribleness of families, so I just let the silence hang and settled back to enjoy the drive. It had been a long time since the two of us had gone off alone anywhere like this. I was going to enjoy the feeling of old times as long as I could.

Dean

So... Why dont you go through my tapes and pick some music Sammy. Let quiet that way

Sam

Grins over at him Who are you and what have you done with my brother? You're letting Shotgun choose the music?

Dean

Shut up Sammy...fine I throw a tape in and night moves starts playing so i start singing to it I was a little too tall, could've used a few pounds

Tight pants points, hardly renowned

She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes

And points of her own, sittin' way up high

Sam

Laughs at the memories of a past time in the car singing that song Good Choice

Dean

Way up firm and high

Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy

Out in the back seat of my '67 Chevy

Workin' on mysteries without any clues

Why not...

Sam

Sitting back just listening to the good-naturedly sung to lyrics. You seem like you're in a pretty good mood today. Things going good for you lately?

Dean

When am I not in a good mood? I mean since I’ve been back things have been pretty good

Sam

Things have been pretty normal, I guess. I don't know, you've just seemed sort of caught up in your own head about something recently. I hope you worked it out, whatever it was.

Dean

still pushing things back, taking a drink of my coffee as we fly down the road I’m good Sammy really... Sing with me... 

Workin' on our night moves

Tryin' to make some front page drive-in news

Workin' on our night moves

In the summertime

Umm, in the sweet summertime

Sam

laughing and singing badly 

Tryin' to make some front page drive-in news

Workin' on our night moves

In the summertime

Umm, in the sweet summertime

Dean

smiles as I look over at you while we sing we need to do this more Sammy

Sam

Yeah, nods my head and then looks out the front window yeah we do

Dean

pull into the nearest gas station as we still have awhile to go I guess this is a good time to fuel up, grab some snacks, drinks. get out and start pumping gas in the car

Sam

I get out and stretch Anything I can get you?

Dean

I got a cooler in the back why not stock it up with some beer and then grab me some jerky a chocolate bar for now?

Sam

I go inside the little shop and find some flavored Vitamin water for myself, another six pack of the best beer they had, which wasn't saying much. Found Dean's jerky and chocolate and an orange for myself. As I'm checking out, I add one of those Monster Claw energy drink things I know Dean likes. With my bag of goodies, I head back to the car.

Sam

Storing the beer in the ice chest, I had Dean the things I'd brought him and keep the empty bag for the orange peels I'm about to go through. So what, you figure about 4 more hours?

Dean

Yeah probably finish pumping the gas and take my things from you. I open the bag of jerky and grab some out cramming it in my mouth and pop open the energy drink thanks Sammy

Sam

I slip back into the front seat and stick my water in the door spot. Then begin pealing the orange.

Dean

Dont make a mess with that thing Sammy winks as I pull back out onto the road and we continue driving

Sam

Long after my orange was gone and the open road had lulled me back into that soothing rhythm it always did. I looked across at Dean silently driving. He seemed in deep thought. I've missed these simple hunts... jobs, whatever you want to call them. These kind where we know what the bad thing is and we know how to end it. Nothing more than that. Starting out, those were the kinds of things we always saw.... back before demons and angels and all of the other Gods.... do you ever miss it too? Like it was when we were starting out?

Dean

Hmm?. Oh...yeah...simple hunts.  Not that anything is really all that simple. But I agree. It is fun just to be us on the road. Just you and me. But our family has grown so it just isn’t a possibility as much.

Sam

It has grown, I wonder what Dad would think of that. He was always so 'we work alone'-mind-setted. Letting others in I shake my head Not sure that would have been easy to do if he were still around.

Dean

Maybe not but it’s not up to him because he’s not around but THEY are.

Sam

Sees a road sign for the HWY 90- HWY47 junction. You’re going to want to take that one. Keep on 90 and Reliance is about 12 miles past the split Starts going over in my own head what we're likely to need once we get there. I had most of it and I knew the Impala most likely carried the rest. We should be good.

Dean

watch as I come up on the turn for HWY90-HWY40 and make the turn as I merge onto the highway and continue driving

Sam

When you exit at Reliance, make a loop through town, just so we can check it out. I'll message Garth now to see if he has anything new for us. Type out a text to Garth letting him know we're here and asking if anything has changed. Hits send

Dean

On it.... seeing the sign and taking the exit i follow it and head towards town slowly driving through in case we need to stop anywhere

Sam

My phone pings in my hand and I open to find Garth's message He says everything holding. We won't miss the family tomb, and that William is the last uncremated body to have been interred there. So, I guess swing back through town and let's find the location and then just wait for dark, sound good to you

Dean

So head to the cemetery and salt and burn with roses.... Got it drive through the town looking for the cemetery

Sam

I forgot about the flowers, need a flower shop as well I think

Dean

Oh ok it’s not long now and I’m sure it’s gonna be dark soon but yes flower shop is next on the agenda circling back through town how about that one?

Sam

I look where Dean is pointing and I can see a young, blonde wearing the vest of the flower shop, just saying good bye to a customer. I Grin I think you'll be able to get white roses and that girls phone number, both in record time.

Dean

laugh as I pull into a parking space, get out and walk up to the girl hey beautiful... I would like a big bundle of white roses please.

Sam

Hearing the word beautiful carried back to me on the wind, I had to chuckle. It didn't matter what horrible fate we were about to walk into, Dean always had time for a pretty girl

Dean

go inside the store and come out with a bunch of white roses, putting my phone back in my pocket on my way out anything else we need?

Sam

I think we're good I step out of the car and empty the orange peels out of the plastic bag and get back into the car. From what I could find online, the white rose petals are supposed to protect any goodness or love that might still be residing within a person. I take the flowers from Dean and start tearing the petals off and stuffing them in the plastic bag.

Dean

We just.... Ok..... watching you ruin the roses ok so where are we headed now? To find the grave?

Sam

Yes, Garth says the Family Tomb is the grandest there and won't be hard to see. I'm actually feeling better about busting into some marble covering in a crypt, than digging down 6 feet in the hard South Dakota clay.

Dean

You're looking forward to it? Um who are you and what did you do to Sam you always hated that part of the job even though we did it

Dean

I think maybe the pollen from the flowers are going to your head

Sam

well, I've pretty much come to terms that it's the only way to bring some kind of peace to the dead who's after revenge and peace for the ones its after. But I was just talking about shoveling up six feet of dirt. That's a long slog some nights.  Knocking off a marble covering is soooo much easier

Dean

You got the cemetery on GPS so we can find it?

Sam

Back down this main road. I saw the turn off just before we came to that first gas station... It will be on your left now

Dean

head back towards the gas station and making the turn looking for the cemetery

Sam

That's it... points Right there... As we turn into the cemetery, I look around for where we might be needing to go. THERE!

Dean

Holy shit! As I turn into the cemetery and you point it out that’s?

Sam

Let's just park outside the gate and off the road until dark

Dean

park the car and turn all lights off

Sam

No cars passes and no people. It was as if we were the only people for miles. Once the sun was almost down, I looked over at Dean. What do you think? Give it a few more, or get to it?

Dean

Wait a few just to make sure everything is clear

Sam

Works for me Continues to look at the window and watch all the areas around us

Dean

after sitting and watching for a while let’s do it

Sam

I get out of the car with the rose petals and meet Dean around the back

Dean

get out opening the trunk and grab the shovels salt oil and my lighter and grab my gun and blade

Sam

From the trunk I take a crow bar, a mallet and then slip my bag over my shoulder which contains salt, holy oil and matches

Dean

carry everything to the gate

Sam

Clipping on a small flashlight, I start to make my way towards the Stewart-Barns family tomb.

Dean

walk with you carrying the shovels keep your eyes peeled

Sam

I hadn't seen so much as a squirrel since we'd been sitting out here, but knew that things could go south in a hurry. I nod to Dean and keep walking.

Dean

getting to the family tomb I use a shovel to bust the lock and open the door

Sam

Shhhh Let's not let every dead person know that we're here just yet Dean At the door to the crypt I was relieved to see that a standard issue lock was through the small chain. Pulling out my lock pick tools, I had it open in less than a minute. Here we go

Dean

It easy easy to break sorry.... walking into the little room i look around which one is it?

Sam

Looking for William I scan my flashlight along the craved names Bingo Right there

Dean

Well how do you supposed we are gonna bust into that without making noise Sammy? We kinda can’t avoid it

Sam

I run my fingers over the marble sealer plate. I think if you just get a notch here at a corner, we'll get this whole slab off in one piece

Dean

grabbing a shovel I begin slamming it into the stone to break it at the corner you are pointing to, and pry the slab away

Sam

I help with the crow bar and together we break the whole piece free Piece of cake The dead air from the tomb space, takes more of a dusty smell. Help me slide this out I grab hold of the end of an really ornate coffin

Dean

grab ahold and help you pull it put and pry open the top

Sam

Getting most of the coffin out, I let go and it bumped to the ground. Here, you can do the honors I hand Dean the crow bar

Dean

once open using the crowbar, looking at the old mostly rotted away bones as a big scurries out of the eye socket and another out of the mouth ugh ... I pour the salt over the entire remains and toss the container to the ground

Sam

Wait!!!

Dean

What?

Sam

I open the plastics bag and scatter the white rose petals all over the body I almost forget that step I pull out holy oil and use it to make sure the fire will spread to the entire corpse Light it up I think

Dean

Oh right I totally forgot! watching you cover the salt and bones with the rose petals then pour the oil over it all covering it you wanna do the honors?

Sam

I'll let you go for it. I know that's your favorite part I grin at him

Dean

grab my zippo lighting a piece of paper I throw it in watching the oil catch and the fire slowly grow in front of us good riddance

Sam

Yeah, what he said Picking up our equipment, I waited just a bit longer to be sure that the fire was going to catch it all and then started for the tomb door

Dean

watching the fire burn until it was almost down to ashes then head to the door

Sam

Back at the Impala, I drop my gear into the trunk and slide into the front seat. Pulling out my phone, I text Garth to let him know hte mission was completed.

Sam

You know Dean I look across at my brother This was nice today, getting away to just do what we do so well. It was nice just spending time with you. We need to do this more often.

Dean

walk back to the impala getting in i agreed if only all our cases were that easy

[tobesolonely]

grammy night

A/n: like most of you, watching harry perform WS did something to me. i rushed to my computer to write this IMMEDIATELY... not proofread but i hope u all enjoy nonetheless! Thanks @nationalharryleague​ for looking this over and hyping me up.

summary: y/n wants to show her grammy winning boyfriend just how proud she is of him💕

warnings: smut, mentions of the pandemic!

word count: ~3k

my ko-fi! thank you :)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You decided that “Harry Styles, Grammy-nominated artist!” had a lovely ring to it.

Harry knew how proud you were of him; you had been making it known to him in the days leading up to his big night. You fretted over him more than you usually did, showered him in an obnoxious amount of compliments, and were the most intimate you’d ever been with him–– but who was he to complain? 

Obviously, he knew you could care less whether he won or lost, and quite frankly, he didn’t care either. Just being able to perform at the Grammy’s, much less open it, was the opportunity of a lifetime. The fact that he was hitting such a big professional milestone with you by his side just made it that much better. You were both buzzing.

It had been months since Harry had performed. You knew how much he missed being in front of a live audience and hearing people scream his name, conceited as he was. He had been spending so much time rehearsing the one song he was performing, wanting it to be absolutely perfect. Your boyfriend was a perfectionist, after all! If he was going to do something, he either did it one hundred and ten percent, or he didn’t do it at all.

Although you were used to your boyfriend’s pre-performance jitters, it still wasn’t an easy sight to see. He would pace so much that beads of sweat would collect in his hairline; he’d shake, tremble, and have to be reminded to breathe. You’d think after ten years of doing this he would be a pro, but he was only human, after all. 

“Been so long since I performed in front of people,” Harry muttered to you, examining his reflection in his make-shift dressing room. “‘M nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous,” you reply, coming up behind him to rub his shoulders. He shoots you a look in the mirror. “I know it’s easier said than done but you have nothing to worry about. It’s “Watermelon Sugar” honey–– you’ve got nothing to worry about. You’ve performed this one dozens of times.”

“Things are jus’ so different now,” his voice drops an octave. “What if people are tired of the song?”

“I don’t think people are tired of the song.”

“It played on the radio a lot. Came out in 2019––”

“...And you’ve been busy with other things. No one’s gonna be upset that you haven’t released new music in the middle of a pandemic H, I promise you.”

Harry’s gaze meets yours again in the mirror briefly before he tilts his head back, silently asking for a kiss. You plant one on his lips before grabbing a tissue from a small table beside him, dabbing at his hairline.

“Stop sweating everything off, Harry,” you playfully scold your boyfriend. “Make-up artist has already been by to touch you up three times already, she’s probably running out of product.”

Your boyfriend lightly chuckles at this, causing you to smile. “I’ll just tell my body to cut it out. How’s tha’ sound?”

“Sounds good,” you reply, leaning down to kiss his nose. “You alright?”

You notice Harry deeply inhale. “I think so. How do I look?”

“Like a Grammy-nominated, soon-to-be Grammy-winning, artist.” 

Harry’s skin flushes. “Stop it…” The sound of three short knocks on the door of his dressing room causes panic to flood his features.

“Hey, look at me,” you gently grab your boyfriend’s chin, turning his gaze up towards yours. “It’s my job to believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself. If you get nervous just know I’ll be sitting as close to the stage as they’ll let me.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Now, go make me proud.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Breathe me in, breathe me out…”

If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought Harry’s nerves in his dressing room were all theatrics. He was so in his element on stage, you were one hundred percent sure no one knew he was so nervous twenty minutes prior that he was turning green. He kept looking out into the small crowd, searching for you, and flashing you a dimpled grin once he did. 

You were enjoying watching him prance around the stage while trying to keep up with the band on stage, looking a bit too proud of himself when he was able to stay on the beat while rhythmically snapping his hips along to the song. As the song came to an end and the dimmed lights started coming back on, you were led back to Harry’s dressing room by one of his guards as you heard the next performer being introduced.

“How did I do?” Harry asks loudly, adrenaline still coursing through his veins.

His voice causes you to jump. “You scared the shit out of me! How’d you get off stage so quickly?”

Harry grabs your arm and pulls you off the couch, wrapping you in a tight, sweaty hug. “Don’t know. I basically ran to ya.”

“You did incredibly,” you tell him, lips ghosting over his. “Just like I knew you would. I don’t wanna say you were nervous for nothing, but you kinda were.”

“Don’t wanna hear your teasin’.”

“Did you see how everyone was looking at you?”

“I only saw how you were lookin’ at me. I was only lookin’ at you.”

Your body heats up at Harry’s admission, causing you to look away. “You’re so cheesy, H.”

“I think I would’ve been about fifty times more nervous if you weren’t here with me,” he presses his nose against yours. “Thank you for bein’ here, Y/N. You make this whole thing so much more doable.” Harry places one… two… three wet kisses to your cheek before pulling away, walking back over to close the door he left open during his excitement to re-join you.

“Changing?”

“Yeah,” Harry turns to look at you as he pulls off his jacket. The sight of his bare chest causes you to thickly swallow. “‘M gonna put what I was wearin’ on the red carpet back on. We’re gonna move outside.”

You simply hum in response to what Harry said, sitting back on the couch to scroll through your phone as you wait for him to finish changing. Everyone was congratulating Harry on his performance and wishing him luck on his nominations. You read all the good luck texts for him that were sent to you out loud, watching as his smile grows bigger and bigger from all the love he was being showered in.

After helping Harry powder his T-zone you let him lead you out of the small room and out into an area with spaced-out circular tables, most of them with just two or three seats at them. The Grammy’s in the middle of a pandemic was unlike anything you had ever seen before, and you were pleasantly surprised at how smoothly things were running. Jeff is already sat at the table when you and Harry join him and you can visibly see him let out the breath he was holding.

“Your boyfriend ran off stage so quickly I thought I was gonna have to set up a search party to find him,” Jeff tells you, a slight hint of annoyance present in his voice. He then turns to Harry and says, “Fix your mask, please.”

“It is fixed,” Harry grumbles but adjusts it nonetheless, causing you to giggle. 

Even though it was obvious your boyfriend was enjoying himself, you could still tell he was extremely nervous the closer it became to announcing the winner of the category he was nominated in. His grip on your thigh kept growing tighter and tighter and although you didn’t hate it, you worried he might cut off your circulation soon if he didn’t let go of you soon.

“H, take a deep breath,” you lean over to whisper in his ear. “You’re gonna make my thigh fall off.”

“Sorry, love,” if you could see his mouth under his mask, you’d see him biting his plump lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my fuckin’ life.”

“Never?”

“Have I?”

“I dunno. I’m asking you.”

You see Harry’s eyes crinkle. “Maybe when I asked you out for the first time.”

“You are seriously so cheesy.”

Harry doesn’t respond, just takes your hand in his and directs his attention back to the stage. His palm is sweaty in yours but you don’t release his grip on your hand, wanting to offer him as much comfort as you possibly could.

When they start naming the nominees for Best Pop Solo Performance, you literally have to remind Harry to control his breathing. Although he won’t be upset if he doesn’t win, you know it would still mean quite a bit to him if he did.

“And the winner for Best Pop Solo Performance is… Harry Styles!”

Your mouth falls open in shock as you turn to fully face your boyfriend who was looking down at your intertwined hands, eyes wide in surprise. He genuinely wasn’t expecting to win and that made this victory that much sweeter. 

“Harry!” You yell to be heard above the cheers and applause of his colleagues in the crowd. Jeff stands and grabs Harry’s hand, pulling him out of his seat and into a tight hug. You stand up and clap loudly in admiration for your boyfriend, willing the tears not to fall from your eyes. He removes himself from Jeff and pulls you into him, your head pressed against his chest.

“I won a fuckin’ Grammy!” Harry shouts.

“I know!” You shout back, probably more excited than he was. “Get up there!”

Your boyfriend quickly removes his mask and hands it to you before hurrying to the makeshift stage, hugging the presenter before touching his Grammy in awe. He picks it up and then slowly sets it back down, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“To everyone who made this record with me, thank you so much…” 

You can’t stop the few tears that spill over your waterline–– you were so unbelievably proud of him. You’re not even paying attention to his acceptance speech as you’re too preoccupied with looking at everyone staring at your boyfriend in admiration. 

“Lastly, I want to thank my girlfriend who’s sitting right there next to my manager, Jeffrey. She’s my number one fan, always believes in me when I don’t believe in myself,” he looks down at his shoes bashfully. “Wouldn’t be half the man I am today if it weren’t for her. This is our Grammy, love.”

You blow kisses to your boyfriend, ignoring the feeling of everyone’s eyes on you. As far as you were concerned, you and Harry were the only two people around at that moment. Your heart couldn’t have been any more full.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

To absolutely no one's surprise, you and Harry couldn’t keep your hands off each other for the remainder of the night. You were relieved there were no after parties being held that Harry would be expected to attend due to the pandemic because you could not get him alone fast enough.

“Slow down, Y/N,” Harry sets his Grammy on the foyer table as he kicks off his shoes. “Just us, innit? We’ve got all night, haven’t we?”

“I’m just so proud,” you tell him breathlessly, sucking on the underside of his jaw. “Let me show you.”

“You have been showin’ me. A lot, actually,” Harry leans his head back and closes his eyes in pleasure as you lick tantalizingly slow against his veiny neck. “Guess one more time wouldn’t hurt, though.”

“Do you want me to blow you or not?”

“Oh, so that’s what’s gonna happen here?”

“If you’re gonna be annoying, then no.”

“Kiiiding,” Harry rolls his eyes, pressing a gentle kiss to your nose. “C’mon, let me get you upstairs.”

”You’re the one that won a Grammy, not me,” you remind him. “Let me make you feel good.”

Harry lets out a quiet hum, guiding you towards the couch. “Exactly–– I’m the winner. Doesn’t that mean I should get what I want tonight?” He falls backward onto the couch, pulling you atop his lap. His hand roams down the front of your dress and he squeezes your breasts roughly, clearly delighted that you decided to forgo a bra tonight.

“I suppose,” you answer, biting back a moan. 

“You suppose? Not in the mood for it tonight?” He starts to retract his hand but you grab his wrist, stopping him.

“I am!” You don’t even try to hide how desperate you are for your boyfriend.

“Gonna let me taste you, hmm?” As Harry asks his question he slowly slides off the couch and onto his knees in front of you, bunching your dress up around your hips. He leans in close to your already dripping center and inhales deeply, a blissed-out look on his face. “Smell fuckin’ incredible. I gotta taste ya.”

You spread your legs wider without even thinking about it, almost as if it’s on instinct. Harry easily moves your underwear to the side and immediately connects his lips with your clit, not giving you time to adjust to the sensation before he’s just going at it.

“Oh, Harry…”

“Rings on or off?” His voice is muffled due to your thighs being clamped around his head, but you can still understand what he’s saying.

“On!”

Harry chuckles against your cunt before sliding his index finger in with ease, loving the way you immediately clenched around the digit. “Y’like that, lovie? Wanna take another one?”

“Please.” Your boyfriend already has you breathless despite the fact that he was just getting started.

Harry slips his middle finger into you along with his index finger and starts curling it up in the way he knew you liked, trying his hardest to stimulate your g-spot. He looks extremely focused; leave it to Harry to make a night that was supposed to be all about him, not.

“S’fuckin’ tight,” he says, more so to himself. “You’d think with all the shags we’ve been ‘avin lately you’d be used to my fingers by now.”

You let out a loud groan at your boyfriend’s dirty talk. He knew that it was one of your biggest kinks so he usually overdid it just a tad bit. It’s not like you were complaining, though.

“Guess that means you’re not fuckin’ me hard enough, huh?”

Harry stops his movements and looks up at you through slightly hooded eyes, an amused (but not really) look on his face. “Not fuckin’ you hard enough? Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

You can tell by the tone of Harry’s voice that he has it out for you now, but there’s no use in recanting your statement. He was about to make sweet, primal, love to you and god were you ready. Harry goes back to mercilessly fucking into you with his thick fingers, speeding up or slowing down his pace based on how you clench around him.

”Fuck, H.”

“Feels nice?” He goes from moving his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion to a scissoring motion which feels just as good if not better.

“Yeah, really nice,” your fingers are tangled in Harry’s hair and you know he’ll give you hell later for getting it all knotted. “I’m close.”

“Already? Haven’t even properly fucked you yet,” Harry removes his fingers from you aching cunt agonizingly slow, wiping them on his expensive Gucci trousers. “Guess I’ll jus’ have to fix that, yeah?”

“I guess so.”

“You’ve got a mouth on you tonight, pet. Is that really any way to treat your Grammy-winning boyfriend-”

“Harry, come off it!” You exclaim, letting out a loud laugh as you watch him stand up and unbutton his pants. “You’re insufferable, I swear.”

Harry shoots you one of his blindingly bright smiles, wiggling his eyebrows as his pants pool around his feet. “Hey, ‘m just statin’ facts.”

He collapses onto the couch and pats his lap, giving his leaking cock two quick tugs. “Ride me.”

“Just because you won a Grammy doesn’t mean you don’t have to ask nicely anymore.”

“Y/N, my beautiful, dazzling, elegant girlfriend, will you please do me the honors of riding––”

“Why do you make everything so weird?” You groan as Harry laughs and pulls you into his lap with ease, wincing when your thigh brushes against his cock. Wordlessly, he places his hands on your hips and helps you sink down onto him, taking his lip in between his teeth to keep from yelling out.

”Fuck me…”

“I’m about to,” you reply, resting your head on his shoulder as you adjust to his size. His hands roam the expanse of your back as he waits for you to get used to the feeling on him, wanting to feel every part of your body all at once. Without warning, you begin sluggishly rolling your hips. You were in no rush anymore; you had him inside of you, and that was all you wanted from the start.

“S’that all you got in ya?” His tone is cheeky, almost mocking. “I think you can give me more than tha’.”

“I dunno if I can.”

“Why’s that?” Harry bucks his hips upward slightly causing you to let out a loud gasp.

“I just want you to fuck me. I don’t wanna do any work.”

At this, Harry quickly flips you over so your sweaty body is now below his. You moan at the sensation the new angle immediately brought you. “Want me on top like this? This is how you wanna have me, angel?”

You nod. 

“Answer me.”

“Yes, Harry,” your eyes squeeze shut as Harry begins quickly thrusting into you. “God, yes. That feels amazing.”

“Yeah? Do you like it when I fuck you like this?” Harry reaches his hand down to thumb at you clit and raises an eyebrow while awaiting your answer.

“God,” you grab onto your breasts to prevent them from bouncing around as Harry’s thrusting into you but he rips your hand away.

“Wanna see ‘em.”

“Right there,” you moan, no longer trying to bite back your sounds of pleasure. Between Harry eating you out, fingering you, and now fucking you harder than he has in ages, you were a few sloppy thrusts away from coming all over his cock. “I’m gonna cum–”

“...Already?”

You know he’s teasing but you still reach between your sweaty bodies to swat at his bare chest. “Don’t tease!”

“‘M messin’ with ya, puppy,” Harry pushes his curls out of his eyes. “I’m almost there- you first. Cum for me, Y/N.”

Harry doesn’t have to tell you twice. You spasm around his cock as soon as he tells you to, lifting your hips up to meet him as you could tell he was growing tired. Harry pulls out moments later, muttering a quick, “Where do you want it?” before finishing on your chest.

The silence that fills the room is comforting but of course, it’s cut short by your pest of a boyfriend.

“If that's what I got just for winning one Grammy, what would I get if I won the others?”

[because-of-a-friend]

Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST

One day I will come up with titles for my works lol. 

Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...

Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting

Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any

You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…

But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.

You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…

“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.

You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”

Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.

You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you. 

*****

You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”

“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.

“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”

“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.

You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.

This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.

But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.

The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.

“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.

“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.

“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”

You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.

Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.

“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.

Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.

Then of course…

“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.

“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.

Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.

Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…

You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.

“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.

“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.

You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.

*****

“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.

“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.

You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.

All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.

“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.

“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.

You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”

“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”

Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”

Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.

The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.

You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.

But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.

It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.

The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.

Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.

Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.

It made you even angrier.

Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???

Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.

Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.

*****

You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?

The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???

A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.

You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.

So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.

“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.

“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.

“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”

“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”

There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.

You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.

To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”

You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.

“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.

But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.

*****

The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.

You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.

To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.

“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.

Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”

“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.

“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”

“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.  

“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.

For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”

There’s more silence for a second.

“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”

Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”

You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.

*****

Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”

“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.

“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.

Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.

“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.

“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.

“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”

“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”

“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.

“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.

“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.

You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”

Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”

“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.

“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.

*****

Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.

You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.

You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.

*****

“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”

“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.

“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”

Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”

“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.

As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?

*****

You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.

You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.

The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.

You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.

You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.

“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.

“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.

“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.

You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.

“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.

“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”

“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.

“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.

You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.

*****

You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.

No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.

You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.

The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...

He really was beautiful.

Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”

You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”

“You sure?” he insists.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.

He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”

You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”

“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.

“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.

Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”

“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.

“But, what?” he prompts you again.

“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.

Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.

You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.

Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”

You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.

*****

Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.

His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.

“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.

Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.

You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.

“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.

“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.

Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.

He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.

“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”