#i think im mostly in a better state than when i first played. i have the pistol now and i got 4 shmowders before the plague even started

[4giorno]

im taking the fact that this lets player didnt see a single dog in daniils campaign but immediately saw them in both clara and artemys campaigns to be the definite proof that daniil is a cat person. also obsessed with the fact that his icon in patho 2 is this little kitty

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

(not a request but i did have idea)

was Toby and Y/N having Better relationship than Jeff and Y/N? Because i probably think toby had always treating them better than Jeff Does

well i think it would depend more on your personality

with toby, you are best friends to the end. even if you break up, you will still be super close. hes also just a sweetie, total golden retriever boyfriend who only wants to make you happy. he is also a more fluffy lover if that makes sense, he loves to smother you in kisses, laugh and play around with you, etc.

Jeff on the other hand is definetly only a lover. if you guys break up, thats the end of your relationship all together, you wont ever be in contact again. Hes a more passionate and rough lover too, so none of the gentle lightheartedness will be there with him. He wants a benefit from you and doesnt care if youre happy with him, because in his eyes, your happiness isnt really his problem. He still loves you, dont get me wrong, he just thinks that if youre unhappy, you should seek out something from him yourself, just like he does to you. He is definetly a more heavy makeout sesh pinned up against the wall and smacking your ass type person.

HOWEVER IN THE SENSE OF BREAKING UP WITH JEFF TO GET WITH TOBY. hooooo boy, this is gonna be good. At first jeff is like "whatever i dont need them anyways" but when he sees you with toby smoochin it up and calling each other the sweetest names, he immediately gets super jealous. He will kind of fall into a depressive state also, thinking "they look so much happier than they did with me, they never called me sweet names liks that" but its mostly jealousy and rage. He ensues a mission to try and win you back because who the FUCK does toby think he is???

oh yeah, im def gonna write a fic about this someday

[cyzi4]

𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐘𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ~ 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤

A/n: this is me coming back from the dead. I fr couldn’t come up with any ideas but im back and im gonna try my best to be consistent 🤗

You and Light had met in high school. You were new and the teacher asked Light to show you around and get you acclimated to the new school.

At first, Light didn’t want to have someone following him around like a lost puppy, but when you sat next to him and started up a conversation with him, you piqued his interest.

Light fell for you almost immediately (though you’d never know that due to his innate ability to hide his true intentions and feelings.) You were intelligent and so kind to everyone around you. He saw you as the perfect girl. His perfect girl. It became his ultimate goal to make you fall for him.

He would do some simple acts of service, walking you to all your classes under the guise of “I wouldn’t want you to get lost, you’re still new after all.” No matter how many times you insist you know where you’re going, he’d still walk with you like the obsessive man gentleman he is.

Then, Light would buy you a few gifts. He would buy you little snacks, (all of your favorites he found on your socials which he would stalk check from time to time.), stuffed animals, and really anything he thought would make you smile.

Now, at this point, Light had started to notice your kindness wasn’t just saved for him. You were just oh so kind to this one boy in your shared class with Light. The boy was an idiot, plan and simple. He was always asking for your help and your answers, which you eagerly gave him. It made Light almost lose his composure. Surely you realized that loser was just using you? No. You were too kind and naive to realize.

Light nearly lost it when he asked you to come over for one of your study sessions (which mostly consisted of watching movies in his room instead of actually studying) and you declined. Stating you had a date.

A.

Date?!

Light, as calmly as he could muster, asked who the lucky guy was, and to his utter distain, it was that blundering idiot who would always beg for your attention and pity. Light forced a smile and wished you good luck on your date, silently scheming on how to put a stop to it.

Now, Light had never imagined using the death note on anyone who wasn’t a criminal. And at first he didn’t think about using it on that loser. He tried to have a calm and polite conversation with him, but instead he overheard a conversation with that guy and his friend. He was calling you easy, and that he was definitely going to get to laid. It made Light sick. Light was going to enjoy snuffing his life out, even if it would be indirect.

After the deed was done, Light didn’t expect to see you at his doorstep, face stained with tears and asking if you could stay with him for a bit. Of course Light let you in, how could he not when you looked so sad? He was going to do his best to make you feel better.

Light let you cry on his shoulder while you spoke about being stood up. He played with your hair and shushed your cries. Deep down he knew he was the cause of your misery, but, he was intent on making your sorrows disappear. He spoke so sickening sweetly into your ear, whispering how he’d never stand up a beautiful girl like you. That made you smile. His plan was going even better than he anticipated.

After that day, you and Light were more attached. You really started to fall for Light. And Light started to notice it too. So he decided to finally just ask you out. “Be mine, please?” He looked at you so lovingly, how could you decline?

When you two started dating, Light started to get possessive. Any guy who even looked your way started to get anonymous threats warning them to stay away. If they still tried to get in your good graces, their picture would be found in an obituary within a week. You noticed how guys started to disappear from around you, but your sweet, caring, loving boyfriend couldn’t be behind it, could he?

Light would even be jealous if you spent too much time (in his eyes) with your friends. “You want to be around them more than me, don’t you?”

You would’ve noticed these red flags plain as day if you were dating anyone other than Light Yagami. He’s just so good at manipulating people. He’ll always make you forget with his gifts and his kind words. He’ll make you think you’re just awful for thinking that your sweet, sweet boyfriend could be anything other than that.

But even in his twisted, obsessive ways, he still loved you to death. You were always his poison. He would never lay a finger upon you or make you do anything you didn’t want to. He loved to be in control but you (even if unknowingly) had all the control over him.

Light would do anything and everything for you. If you wanted everyone in your school to disappear? He’d make it happen. Even though he knows you’d never request something so vile. But anything and everything he had the power to do for you, he’d do it in an instant. Its just the obsessiveness gentlemen in him.

[luwukass]

OKAY TRACKLIST BREAKDOWN!!!!

so i have now had breakfast and coffee and my brain is on and FUNCTIONING lets get into this

putting a break here incase youre scrolling and dont wanna read all of this lol

so first things first i was watching tiktok and people were making a big deal about how its split up into sides similarly to midnights now i do believe that taylor posted the back cover of the vinyl and that the cd will be different but i could be wrong. even if it is split up like this on purpose on every physical copy this does mean that it is a two LP album instead of one like midnights

one vinyl (both sides) can hold up to 44 minutes of music on it so we can roughly estimate that the full album will be about an hour and a half long now if each side is 22 minutes long each track on side a, b and c should be about (if each song is in equal length) 5 and a half minutes long. side d has 5 songs on it so some of those might be short to fit in the manuscript

i have also seen people compare this back cover to the back cover of lover which is absolutely breaking my heart and im sure thats not gonna be the last lover comparison i see about this album

okay so lets dive into this track by track

SIDE A

track one: Fortnight (feat Post Malone)

okay so first of all this is obviously not a reference to fortnite the video game but i think all of those jokes are funny as hell. the fortnight shes talking about here is a reference to the measurement of time as seen down below google states that fortnight is a british term for two weeks.

according to wikipedia fortnight is derived from the old english term fēowertiene niht, meaning "fourteen nights".

now onto post malone i actually listen to some of his music from time to time. he mostly does do rap but his most recent album austin (which is coincidentally also taylors brothers name, but is also post malones real name) is listed on google as alternative rock, indie pop and synth-pop. so im unsure of what vibe post will bring to the track. i think its also surprising she placed one of the two collabs as the opening track. i think the vibe for this track will probably be either a story about what happened in a certain two week period or about what is going to happen in two weeks from the songs time standpoint (if that makes sense lol)

track two: The Tortured Poets Department

A TITLE TRACK!!!! now obviously we dont know much about the album yet so we cant really try and figure out what the title track will be about so im just gonna do a little yippee for having a title track

track three: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

this is a Whole fucking title good lord the only thing that really comes to mind when i think of this title is the lyric in better than revenge where she says “soon shes gonna find stealing other peoples toys on the playground wont make you many friends” which is if im not forgetting anything the only lyric as of now where she’s referred to being someones partner as someones “toy” but that lyric itself is a metaphor for relationships being playing on a playground. this will probably be a sad or angry song about how her ‘boy’ goes around breaking/hurting his favorite ‘toy’ aka taylor

track four: Down Bad

okay now down bad if you dont know is a slang term to describe how badly you have fallen for someone (mostly used in a more sexual nature in my experience than romantic) so this song will probably be about how badly she is for the love interest of the song

SIDE B

track five: So Long, London

alright new track five lets go! so this is obviously seeming to be a reference to track 11 on lover, london boy. now like taylor said when she announced it this album has been a secret for two years so we dont know when these songs were written or who they are about but i feel like it is safe to say this song and most of the other will be about said london boy [i personally do not care who a song is about and it is not taylors job to tell us who a song is about and that isnt the point of her music, but i will be commenting on the joe breakup bc that seems to be a large idea of this album so far] i can see this probably being about the break up and possibly sampling some music from london boy like she did with cornelia street and youre losing me

track six: But Daddy I Love Him

okay so the first thing i thought of when i read this track title is the scene from the little mermaid where ariel is fighting with her dad over the eric statue and im gonna be honest i dont remember the plot points in order of this movie BUT i do remember when taylor dressed up as ariel for her new years party in 2019. so given what we know this will probably be a song about maybe her fighting/arguing with her dad over how much she loves the love interest of the song regardless of who he is/how he treats her

track seven: Fresh Out The Slammer

okay so im not sure what this song will be about bc i dont think taylor has ever been to jail before so it would probably be metaphorical type of “im back bitches” type of song im assuming this might be a bass heavy maybe more rock leaning song and if it is a “im back bitches” it might be about the amount of time she was single for with the ‘slammer’ being her old relationship

track eight: Florida!!! (feat Florence and the Machine)

alright so as we all know this album has been in the works at least for two years but we dont know when each song was written so take this with a grain of salt but the tampa eras tour shows were the first shows after the news of the joe breakup dropped. so this song might be about her feelings during those shows. for those that want to know these were the surprise songs for the tampa shows in order.

night one: speak now and treacherous

night two: the great war and youre on your own kid

night three: mad woman and mean

SIDE C

track nine: Guilty as Sin?

okay so my main curiosity about this track is the question mark in the title because guilty as sin isnt much of a thought provoking title to me but that fact that its a question is interesting. the current vibes im getting are that this might be a more sexy song? but i have no idea here

track ten: Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

okay so THIS is giving big taunting energy like “aww who would ever be afraid of little ol me 🥺 youre afraid of me?” which im Hoping thats what the vibes are bc that would HIT but i can also see it being completely different as well

track eleven: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

oh my GOD this one sounds like its gonna be sad. so this is obviously a reference to the common seen online phrase “i can/could fix him” which as ive seen is normally used towards people who are attracted to hot fictional characters that usually have a lot of emotional baggage or are villains (i saw it a lot when ballad of songbirds and snakes came out about young snow) so this song will probably be about her promising that she Can fix him and really will despite ‘him’ being broken or maybe even possibly a bad partner

track twelve: loml

so i saw and rb a post earlier about how its very interesting that this is already an acronym which i completely agree with because taylor knows we are no strangers to turning her song titles into acronyms. so loml does usually mean love of my life but i think because its already an acronym it might be something different (i saw someone earlier say it might be loss of my life instead of love)

SIDE D

track thirteen: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

this one i think will kill me personally. i think this one will probably be about her continuing to go on with life (and possibly the eras tour) post joe break up i think this one will either be a sad song or a light beat ‘picking myself up on my feet’ song

track fourteen: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

this has so many implications but personally i think the interpretation shes gonna use for this song will be about how the said man is small emotionally and just as a person (i doubt she will talk about physical shortness in height or other areas)

track fifteen: The Alchemy

now im gonna be so real here i have no idea what this one will be about google says that alchemy is an older version of chemistry so maybe she will talk about the chemistry or alchemy she has in her relationships?

track sixteen: Clara Bow

alright Clara Bow! okay so i dont know much about old hollywood so i am NOT the person to deep dive into what this song will be about but all i do know about her is that she was The “It” girl of the silent film era so im assuming this song will probably be like the lucky one and talk about the rise to stardom and being the Biggest Star Of The Time

track seventeen(bonus track): The Manuscript

alright so after looking at the definition of a manuscript this is the PERFECT bonus track?!!?!?! so a manuscript is normally a piece of work that is written or typed out but isnt officially published which is just genius for having it be a bonus track that probably wont be on streaming (if not for a long time) i have no idea what itll be about but i love that mastermind

that’s pretty much all of my thoughts as of currently PLEASE let me know what yall think and what theories yall have for this album i am SO excited for april 19th 💕

[ghostlychaosfoil]

oc lore yap

IM GOING INSANE OVER MY ROTTMNT IC AND I NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN OKAY

warning its super long, this is mostly for me

So kirby and frida were mutated after the og boys were but they arent younger than them bc of their unmutanted turtles age. Kirby is a bit younger than raph (and hes not really build for big brothering) and I think frida is like aprils age. A year after Draxums lab was destroyed, he was in a semi stable living environment but was frankly bored. he managed to salvage some his mutagen notes from the ruins of his old lab. He used those notes and what he could still remeber to recreate a mutagen. He still had this obsession with creating mutants (sort of like how he was w his lil food mutant). He ended up making a stable and similar enough mutagen to his original design. He made about a bucketful. throughout this process, hugin and moonin are very skeptical and not super supportive of daxums spontaneous experiments. Draxum had stolen two different breeds of turtles from the local zoo to use for this experiment. one, a 3.5 year old yellow bellied slider(frida) and a 4 year old map turtle (kirby). He dropped those turtles into theat bucket of mutagen and to his (and hoogin and moonins) surprise it worked just fine. he now had two mutated turtle babies. Not soon after, his living conditions, which were bad already, got worse and he was unable to take care of his beloved children. He left the yellow bellied slider for big mama, who he knew always was looking for new warriors. Big mama did nit want the responsibility of two of them though. So draxum left the mao turtle somewhere else (idk where im still figuring that out hahdbd

At time the series takes place, he was encouraged by his caretaker to get a job (or repo is his caretaker?? im not 100%) so kirby gets a job working for repo mantis to do repo work. He definitely failed getting todds rv back before donnie and mikey attempted to. repo taught him to be tougher and how to be intimidating to better his repo skills. So it definitely plays into his personality later on.

movie period he was just living his life when the krang arrived. And he got krangified a little later in the krang invasion so he wasnt a krang zombie until about the point donnie was the spaceship. If he was krangified before the turtles were giving them trouble, he would have been utilized by the kraang like raph was. So in canon the main reason raph was with them and was different was because he was stronger than the other organisms on the earth. I dont think he really was thought of as anything else after they recovered the key. They didnt care about the turtles or anyone, they didn't truly believe they were a mayor threat until the space ship started going back into the prison dimension. Up until then their rebellion was amusement to the kraang. Ou im getting iff topic- Im saying I think the lraang would have brought all their strongest zombies to be close to them whether they be humans, animals, mutants, or yokai. Kirby, along with others would have been up there with raph if the kraang had more time. Kirby was kraangified abruptly and suddenly so he was in a state of shock and before he knew what had just happend, he was already kraangified. A bunch of kraang goo was launched at his face immediately blinding him and easily taking control of his body being that a bunch of kraang stuff already went in his eye.

in one of the qnas w ron corcillo, he said that he would to make a casey jr and casey focused spinoff series where they hunt KRAANG REMAINS. So its kind of canon that kraang did not fully disappear after the invasion. thats were I buikt off of. Kirby had so much kraang stuff in his body, that after the invasion, he was still kraangified just less strong. I would imagine his first encounter with the turtles would be with him being the hooded enemy. He would maybe be too strong the first time and get away. The turtles would obviously not be down witht this crazy kraang mutant running around so they would hunt him down. donnie would probably unkraagify him with techy tech that he probably composed, un hooding him in the process. Unkraangified he obviously does NOT trust these turtles. All he has seen of them was through the fuzzy krang memories of them trying to hurt him. That doesnt seem very trustworthy to him.

he doesnt go back to repo or whatever family he had after being unkraangified because he doesn't know where they are now, if they even survived the invasion, or if they even care about him anymore, given that he had been kraangified for so long after the invasion and nobody had come looking for him. The turtles come across him again (somewhere..?) where ever he is hiding out trying to get his strength back. He feels weaker than before but he is stronger than ever muscle wise (the kraang basically forcing hik to work out 24/7 for months) but mentally he is unwell. Its kind of a phantom pain kinda situation. Raph finds him o. one of his solo patrols (that he takes even though he doesn't love being alone for that long). Raph and him end up bonding over same trauma and shared interests.

EXTRA RANDOM KIRBY FACTS:

-he roller blades😧😧

-his favorite color USED to be pink

-now he cant stand to look at pink

-regularly uses sarcasm but literally nobody can tell

-pretty good at manipulation if needed

-defaults to a tough guy persona but it really isnt suuper intimidating once he starts talking

-cannot read a clock

-really bad at crying, he wants too but it just doesnt work (his hypothesis was that the kraang stuff messed uo his tear glands but that was jot the case)

-overstimulated AF

-LOVES CATSS

-apologizing problem to people he respects

[astarionancuntnin]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Thank you for the tag @nyx-knox!! <33

When did you start writing?

Like wayyyyyyyyy back, I technically wrote my first story when i was 11. I didn't write again until i was 15 (original pieces + fanfics), then i stopped and Im back at it again at 26 ayoooo

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

if i really need to search further into my favorite books, i would definitely say psychological horror and dramas

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don't know writers enough to really get an idea of how to compare myself to any of them, but I do know that i tend to emulate what i'm exposed to, so if I read an entire series from an author, and they used a certain syntax, i'll tend to also do it by force of habit. (i also consider it a flaw cause i see it as hindering my writing creativity ;-;)

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

its my personal pc that doubles as my work space, so its a bit all over the place ngl haha, theres a lot of astarion stickers and posters, all the furniture (keyboard, mouse, desk, etc) is pastel purple (my favorite colour), i have three screens (mostly for work but its also useful in day to day life) and my three wallpapers are astarion, of course. sometimes when i feel a writers block, i found out that writing on my laptop does unblock me! in that case, youll find me typing away on my couch in my living room uwu

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

MUSIC. What I write will be highly dependent on what I listen at the moment, like I was really into boywithuke when i wrote my angsty fics, and then i moved to a dark romance playlist and that got me going for die for you but then i was unable to continue my other fic cause i wasnt in an angsty mood anymore ._. (i swear i didnt abandon it, it just isnt the playlists turn to play on repeat) and rn im a lot into sleep token and ari abdul

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

So. Much. Smut. And angst. not surprising! my writing will also often depict my current state of mind. dw im in therapy, im working on it

What is your reason for writing?

It's my favorite creative output/the one im most experienced in! i wanna start drawing but i never find the time to really get into it and also terrified of failure which brings me to my second reason, its all i think i can do and i get dopanine reading nice comments teehee

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

when people tell me about a favourite part, when they liked the tension i managed to create, how i convey some characters, and most of all when i get told they loved a character i created!! this is so encouraging and pushes me to continue <3

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

i dont know how to answer to that .-. uh, i guess i want to be liked? seen as a good writer if anything? idk man ;-;

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Definitely descriptions, and creating a build up in a scene. I feel like it comes naturally to me and people have often told me that they are never lost when reading my scenes which reassures me so much LMAO I feel validated I also think I make really fun dialogue, especially banter with my ocs/tavs

How do you feel about your own writing?

i often self criticise my own work a lot, and i get that imposter syndrome where ill reread my work before posting and go "what the hell" in those moments, im grateful im not writing on paper cause that sheet would find its way to the trash real quick ^^ ' im sincerely truly blessed that my partner offers himself to read my pieces and beta read them, and tell me his honest opinion (there are things i wrote i wish i could forget and yall better be thankful he was there to stop me from posting first versions)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

mix of both definitely. initially i wrote my own ideas and if people do end up liking them hell yeah!!! glad im able to find people that vibe the same way i do! then again, when i write for people, even if most of it comes from my silly little imagination, it was initially influenced by the request itself and is going to guide the writing specific to this piece, which honestly makes sense imo

Tagging 🏷️: @marlowethebard @roguishcat @anacdoce @charmandabear @marimosalad

[crumchycow]

a get to know you better meme

thanks for the tag @thestrangeillusion

do you make your bed?

Nope never, if something doesn't need to be tidied it will not be tidied, have left a bucket in the middle of my room for 9 months because of this.

what's your favourite number?

Don't have one

what is your job?

Currently just a student I kinda need to get a job but studying and working is a lot for me and acquiring a job is annoying and hard so uethggghhhh

If you could go back to school would you?

Um will I continue studying? Maybe....

can you parallel park?

No

a job you had that would surprise people?

None? Probably the most interesting way I have earned money is the only commission I've ever had, which was my mum commissioning me for her work (kindergarten) because they needed 30 little icon drawings that each kid has at like their bag hook and on their stuff to identify them, she didn't like the person who used to do it because they were weird about it for some reason and the designs were kinda cluttered and ugly so my mum was like my child can draw? Yes! and this way I can be really fussy and specific with it.

(dw she paid me quite well)

do you think aliens are real?

In the sense of any life existing outside of earth? yes 100% would be weird if there isn't. In the sense of complex or intelligent life? probably. In the sense of there are human equivalent creatures that have achieved space travel and are equally or more technologically advanced than us, unlikely but possible. Just thinking about how much time life has existed without humans and how long humans have existed before any ideas of space exploration and the very specific technologies and discoveries that were necessary for space exploration I wouldn't be surprised if we are the only ones. Also just like how incredibly difficult space travel beyond our solar system is I think it's unlikely we will truly know or make contact.

can you drive a manual car?

No :) do not care to learn. fuck cars and driving is boring i only learn to drive because its kinda necessary where i live :( get me good public transport government please

what's your guilty pleasure?

im guilty about alot things like drinking milk, eating too much sugar, spending too much money, doing literally anything i will find a way to feel guilty about it but thats just my general state of being since i was a child and i mostly ignore it or work around it.

I guess in the more traditional sense of things i like that are embarrassing and i wouldnt want people to know, it would be reading fucked up smut. Particularly my fondness for incest ships? Don't know why I suspect it is the codependency. but yeah umm...

Tattoos?

Not yet but I wanna get a spider (not decided which) on my back soon.

favourite colour?

Peach

favourite type of music?

Um I mostly listen to kpop because uh autism? idk, but I genuinely like a lot of music. Some of my favourite music is like objectively awful and difficult to listen to, I think I often like music that is complex and has lots of things.

Some of my favourite artists trying to include multiple genres I like:

Mamamoo

Stray Kids

Taemin

F.T. island

Jeff Satur

S3rl

Enaria

Chopin (I'm learning one of his preludes atm it's v pretty)

Vivaldi

BabyBeard

GHOST (vocaloid producer)

also gregorian chants slap (not christian, vocal harmonies just make me feral)

do you like puzzles?

Yes! I just recently was like y'know what I haven't done in years but suddenly really need to do:

But also just generally like I LOVE maths and figuring out things and patterns and stuff so fun.

any phobias?

Nope

favourite childhood sport?

Um not that into sport, I guess I wanted to play netball when I was like 8 (but that might've just been because that's the thing you do) but I missed the trial periods 2 years in a row but kinda glad I didn't I know multiple people with permanent injuries from playing netball as a kid/teen and my joints are not the most functional in the first place. Do still enjoy playing casually every now and then.

do you talk to yourself?

Yes my favourite hobby, I have the best conversations with myself, will stay up for hours just talking to myself. Also great for preparing for real conversations. I love it when a topic I fully thought about and talked to myself comes up in conversation and it's like fuck yeah gonna ace this one.

what movie(s) do you adore?

Hmmm not the biggest fan of movie as a story format but uh have seen how to train your dragon at least 20 times and I need to watch it again sometime soon, been craving that animal/human enemies to deep emotional connection best buds.

coffee or tea?

Love coffee, but over half of my daily water consumption is through tea (usually multiple kinds)

Would be less alive without tea also its just like so diverse, green tea!black tea! rooibos! masala chai! rosehip! liquorice! peppermint..... camomile! and so much more with sugar! with milk! with honey! or lemon! hot! cold! literally my favourite, shoutout to whoever invented plant in water. Also soup different kind of plant in water but still absolutely banging humans peaked at plant in water best things invented.

and caffeine doesn't affect me like at all? so i only drink these things for taste.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

Idk the first but I know at some stage I wanted to be an author or a marine biologist (why is this so common who put it in our heads? Actually maybe David Attenborough....) probably the first was an animal or something

egh its rambly and may not make sense but whatever, also revealing any information about myself on the internet scares me even though literally nobody could do anything with this information like guys pls dont dox me through knowing my mum is a kindergarten teacher

tagging @gaylittlepieceofsh1t @mousydentist @mr-bazongos @wildelydawn @thestarscanalwayslookatus @fiddlepickdouglas @ae-azile and any one who wants to, no pressure tho <333

[bambirosedoll]

@bambi-disciple wrote a really good post on BS and if it really works (which ill link to at the bottom of this post), and while i have been on a sort BS hiatus for a little while, i wanted to write a little about some of what i have noticed for me?

At the time when id first run across it, the bimbo and hypno scene were still very cis, het, and essentialist. Most bimbofication material out there was heavily cishet. some the point of being actively transphobic. Hell, tbh a lot of it still feel pretty antitrans... but anyway...

I started listening to BS in April of 2021. I had heard of it before, and might have even listen to the initial release once or twice a few years before but had been a little reluctant to really dive into it. Id played with hypno before (ok, like lots), but BS seemed like it might want to be more extreme than i was ready for and very cis woman centric.

Skip forward a few years, and it wasnt until i started seeing some of the bimbofication and stepfordization creators making more gender inclusive content that instarted feeling a little more comfortable dipping my toe back in.

I am a trans woman. I went on hormones and socially transitioned almost two decades ago and in the kink scene for over three. I knew how to do my makeup and be cute and all those things, but like, i wasnt keeping up with them.

I was needing that internal drive and encouragement to be prettier. To push myself further. So for me it was less about self acceptance as a girl or submissive and more about wanting to be a better good girl. And i figured i might want to check out if BS could help.

Im one of those folks who would check all three of the boxes described by @bambi-disciple - wanting it to happen, beleiving it could happen, ans being aroused by the idea. Even with those they doesnt always mean automatic success. My mind often "stays awake" in trance, i am very reluctant to give up control (even when i think i want to and even to myself), and just a host of other issues which keep me from.being consistent or internal resistance to asepcts to the file. There have been some changes ive noticed tho:

* im much more open with my partners. Im still reclutant or shy to talk about my stuff, because i dont want them to be uncomfortable. But that might be more me projecting on them.

* wearing making up much more constantly again. Almost every day or at least when going out.

* pink. A lot more pink. And much more comfortable wearing pink. Previously it was all mostly black.

* eating healther. I now eat a lot more healthier. Salad are much more common for me. As well dried fruits and the like.

* much more casual in my writing. More willing to make typos and let them slide. More willing to just use txt speak and abbrevations and such.

* more comfort with posting myself on the interent, including a brief stint of doing porn sadly the latest stunt feom my stalker (hi stalker) wrecked the relationship with the studeo i was working with + i simply dont have the time with having to go into work and taking care of the family and home. Still it was super fun.

Those are the biggest changes ive noticed over the past couple years. I havent listen to BS for a few months rn. Im not really sure what my future plans are with it. I will prob stsrt up again at some point, but like i have a lot of upcoming things whjch require a lot of focus. It's like i have this desire to relapse but im holding back? Idk.

As promised, the post link. I didnt repost because it is really long and not under a cut and i wanted to be nice to my followers feeds. Sry. And if u have read this far you should check it out

[pantspissedinreverse]

Got any tips on how to play med better? Like when to uber n stuff? (I use the vaccinator btw)

I feel like being supportive of my team and I wanna be silly with it and also mainly cuz i hate myself

heya, thanks for asking :) i dont personally play with vacc much nowadays but when i did id try to get as many of the 4 charges as possible before i encountered an enemy and then popped the appropriate res bubble on my pocket, ex. we encounter a soldier so you swap to explosive res and pop that but then a pyro comes so you switch to fire res and pop that as well, so on and so forth another good time to uber is when a lot of enemies are near, this is better for stock/kritz but if you can arrow tank then youre good i dont have much vacc tips, as stated before, i dont play with vacc much but i think that @vaxxman (sorry for the @ :')) might have more info about that for other general tips heres this:

first things first learn heal priority, usually when im in casual i start with buffing my explosives (solly, demo) then my fellow med if there is one, followed by scout, pyro and heavy, then the sniper if i can get to him and lastly spy because those guys can usually get out of sticky situations well or just simply die

i dont know what primary you use but personally id say use the crossbow, its meta for a reason; huge healing output in a short time and you can style on people by hitting some insane arrows. also no matter what you use, learning how to aim it is crucial, what helped me most was aim training maps like tr_walkway or tr_denial (<- this one is mostly for scouts/soldiers but shhhh) both require pasting this command into console before you start them up for the training bots to work sv_allow_point_servercommand always

also movement is very important, for starters damage surfing (right before youre about to get hit jump then crouch mid air to get a boost) and it carries over to every class, yippee! also since i can talk about movement, theres a strategy i often use which i call the shimmy, its a more complicated one i guess? it takes some practice, heres a clip i got of it in comp recently

^ the shimmy fair warning for loud audio, these etf2l schmucks are loud as hell anyway! what you do here is press your movement keys (mostly A and D) in quick succession, move your mouse around a bit and throw some crouching in there in order to make your movement as unpredictable as possible to confuse the enemy and fuck with their aim, this mostly works on hitreg classes (scout, engi, sniper, anyone using a shotgun) and seeing as it works well against comp scouts, it should work in casual as well!

lastly heres some more resources for you, tr_medic, a compilation of training maps made for, well, medic, its a bit less user friendly than tr_walkway or tr_denial but better for medic specific stuff like keeping distance when healing, also here is the art of medic which has everything you could ever want to know (even some comp stuff, neat!)

anyway, thanks for asking! ill take any chance i can get to ramble about medic strats :) best of luck!

[sharpth1ng]

Sorry if this is a weird ask but I’ve recently lost my billy person and im wondering how to move on. We were almost exactly how you write them except for the obvious so i was hoping for some insight. As of now i dont feel like a person with him not in my life anymore.

Hey so I'm probably not the ideal relationship/ breakup advice giver but I'm gonna do my best.

First of all I want to say that from what I've written so far Stu deserves better than what Billy is giving him. He deserves communication, reciprocity and expressions of care that Billy isn't emotionally mature enough to give at this point in the story, and you deserve that too.

Second, my breakup recovery formula has two steps:

Feel whatever you're feeling

Sadness, anger, loss, literally whatever you're feeling you need to let yourself have that. If you're like me it's really tempting to just stuff that shit down and bury it but doing that just makes it explode out of you later. So you need to vent, write it out, draw angsty stuff, go for long walks listening to your most emo song selection. Whatever feels right for you to let that shit out, just try not to take it out on yourself. You don't deserve that.

It also helps to treat yourself. Have special snacks, take a hot bath if you like those. Let yourself play video games for a whole day if that's something you do. Basically just indulge yourself in a positive way.

2. Figure out who you are on your own and who you want to be

Honestly that's the best advice I can give to anyone, whether or not you're going through a breakup or the loss of a friendship. It's a lot easier to build a healthy connection when you know and feel (at least mostly) secure in yourself. It can be hard to get there and it's alright to be a work in progress, but there's nothing scarier than being in state where you need someone else to define you. That makes you vulnerable to manipulation and in my experience it also just makes me weird and paranoid in the relationships I do have.

Figuring out who you are can mean a lot of stuff because there's a lot of things you can be, but basically you just start trying things. Make a list of stuff you've always wanted to try. Pick up a new hobby, learn a new skill, join a group or community. Sometimes it can be good to join an activist group or take part in some kind of collective action- helps you feel connected and like you're making a positive change outside of yourself.

You can also try out a new clothing style, try listening to some new music, just give yourself a dose of stuff that's somewhat new to you. You don't have to stick to any of it and you don't have to like it all, but trying shit gives you opportunities to get to know yourself more, what you like and don't like for its own sake as opposed to what anyone else thinks of it.

This shit takes time and it's not easy, but nothing lasts forever, including sadness. You'll get through it, you'll figure yourself out better, and eventually you'll move on, whether that's on your own or with someone else.

Regardless, I hope you're doing alright right now. Just take it one step at a time, you'll be ok <3

[cacklefrendly]

I love how you draw your gin and vodka!!!!!they so cool and cute!!!now I wonder what is you're gin backstory.like do he parent work with the organization or something like that??I'm just curious

:D AWW THANKIEEE ANON!! i keep telling myself that i'm gonna draw them being threatening and. it doesn't happen. they end up being sappy again. so im glad i'm not the only one who enjoys it regardless lmao

as for backstories. uh.

good question.

what backstory my personal versions of Gin and Vodka DO have �� and my versions of the entire Black Org. team, too — is vague enough to be almost canon-compliant while leaving plenty of wiggle-room in case future canon declares any new information i think is interesting. it's not a tactical choice! working around canon to make things complicated is part of what makes playing with side characters fun for me. :>

also i'll admit: i usually don't think much about a character's childhood unless it gives something meaningful to the story. i don't think it matters too much why Gin got into the Black Organization? to me, it matters more that he's there and making it everyone else's problem :P i might change my mind later though, we'll see!!

for Gin and Vodka, at least, their backstories are more of a years-long, vaguely three-arc showcase of who they are at wildly different points in their lives together, which has some really interesting moments implied but not explicitly stated.

just for fun, here's a synopsis of those 'Arcs': (i remembered to write a transcript this time, it's under the read-more)

“ARC” 1: SETUP (met once, briefly, by accident.)

VODKA (asides: “Just some dude” & “he uses cheap ballpoints and it hurts my soul. he gets better I promise.”)

maybe grew up in a rural area?

recently finished college, working at one of the Black Organization's front companies

dealing with being a closeted gay man while also trying not to get involved in normal office drama and still hear all the gossip

Very Aware that the company is doing some shady illegal stuff and is SUPER CURIOUS, but 1), he'd like to keep being payed thank you, and 2), he has enough self-preservation to know better than to go snooping

honestly he's just Some Guy

GIN (asides: “dysphoria hoodie” & “[PROTOTYPE] called, Alex wants his damn clothes back.”)

where did you even come from-

working as a low-level assassin with the Black Organization but already starting to garner attention from some of the higher-ups

aggressive, paranoid, AND experiencing dysphoria all at the same time!!! uh oh!!

dealing with the gradual realization that being trans is. a Thing. while also having a really bad-ass action movie as a life, complete with betrayal and murder and explosions

starts transitioning after he climbs the Organization's ranks enough to carve out a place he KNOWS he's safe and can relax

“ARC” 2: MEET-NOT-CUTE (a year or two after “Arc” 1)

VODKA

suffering from the aftermath of The Incident and trying to grapple with the fact that he's been working for an international crime syndicate

and trying to understand his role in all of this mess

and trying not to get killed by his new boss

AND is trying not to think about the fact that his new boss is SO scary and mean

AND trying SO HARD NOT TO THINK ABOUT HOW HE'S KINDA INTO THAT-

GIN

high-ranked enough that he can no longer keep working alone and he HATES IT SO MUCH

it's not just a blow to his pride, it's also all the paranoia. it's mostly the paranoia, to be quite honest

called dibs on the most harmless, pathetic-looking man he could find who still seemed to be useful. and that man was Vodka

even so, spends a good while CONVINCED that Vodka will turn on him if Gin gives him the chance.

BOTH

Gin keeps trying to bait Vodka into trying to kill him and is infuriated as nothing happens.

Vodka sees the bait and is confused at first, later horrified when he figures out what Gin's expecting him to do

as Vodka shows his usefulness, Gin starts to calm down. full-on Trust takes several years to develop

the first time Gin falls Asleep near Vodka freaks Gin out more than a little

“ARC” 3: GET A FUCKIN ROOM (roughly a few years before and into Canon)

Vodka: “If you want coffee you gotta’ let go.” Gin: “*unintelligible sounds of disapproval*”

they aren't in a romantic relationship. they haven't even had a one-night stand. and yet they carry a very "aging gays who've been married for 30 years" energy. it drives the Team up the wall.

before the Trust developed, Vodka let Gin control/initiate all contact as an appeasement/self-preservation strategy. at this point he still does it, but out of habit more than anything.

plot twist, Gin's actually super tactile with people he trusts. he invades Vodka's personal space constantly. it's especially bad when he's cold or tired (so, most of the time)

they know each other's boundaries very well even though they never, like, sat down and talked about it. it's been trial and error thus far. it helps that they're also good at reading each other.

Vodka's uncomfortable attraction turned into a crush, which turned into quiet love. Gin's wariness turned into trust, which turned into love. BUT Gin's doesn't think much about trust OR romance so he's not actually aware (yet) that his feelings for Vodka are more than Really Strong Trust. he also doesn't know Vodka's feelings for him (YET)

there are so many ways this fucking slow-burn could end and I love all of them too much to pick just one

[abracazabka]

Hockey ask pt 2 bc I had this idea of Johnny ending up as a lifetime Devils player and by the time his contract his up and he can choose to sign or not, some reporter asks him if he will resign and he kind of looks at Daniel who's now like 30 and he thinks of how they've known each other since they were kids and they've known both the prettiest and ugliest parts of each other and is like, "You kidding? They'd have to pry me out of Jersey with a crowbar."

And Daniel watches the interview later and he's like, "Knew Jersey was better than New York." but the argument is so old and it doesn't even matter so Johnny's like, "Guess it grew on me." and by it he means Daniel.

Sorry for the long and hyperspecific ask asldfkj

AHHHHHH IM SOOOO AJDJWKFKECKEKDN AHHHHHH I TRY TO KEEP A SOMEWHAT SANE PERSONA ON SOCIAL MEDIA BUT AHHHHH IM SO INSANE ABOUT THIS!!!!

Interviews in general are one of my favorite means of storytelling in fan works because they force characters to face themselves but also add a barrier between them and their love interest so there's this tension and AHHHH

with your first ask my answer seemed a bit lacking because tumblr deleted my responses three times!!! so that was kind of a summary, but I said in a previous version that Johnny would say stupid shit about Jersey in interviews and get into fights all over the place, but that it and Daniel would grow on him. SO WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE HEHEHE despite you clearly knowing more about hockey than me LMAO.

ough God them growing together, being on a team together to witness the good and bad, the insanity and the intimacy, OUGH! God that dialogue you wrote between them really is driving me insane because that is so very Daniel, so very Johnny.

Yes there's the barrier of an interviewer being there but also, Johnny just has these reservations despite being a strike first guy! Oh, Daniel, please PLEASE I am begging you to look into your teammate's eyes and see that he means YOU have grown on him. and you're not kids anymore and you should think about the future (the sports journalism scandal in the making about you two being lovers, of course)

I also talked about New Yorker Johnny in a response tumblr deleted. It was mostly in the lens of making fun of him for still being a baby about the cold despite being a New Yorker and a hockey player (and I was talking about Daniel keeping him warm, WHATEVER HAHA) but I mention New Yorker Johnny because of what you said about him becoming so attached to New Jersey.

A moot and I simply love shoving Johnny into Newark especially, because the LaRussos are there! If Johnny really does become a fixture in the Devils team and Daniel and Johnny grow to appreciate and depend on each other after the rocky, often bloody start, I'm sure the LaRussos get to watch Daniel and Johnny cutely play ice hockey at local rinks (heavily bundled up with their famous faces hidden by scarves of course) when Johnny inevitably follows Daniel back home like a lost puppy.

There is something in me that always goes fucking nuts when Johnny finds a place of belonging. He is my special guy and I love torturing him but not more than I love tenderly placing him in a loving environment. New Jersey fights him and he fights it, but ultimately he fits into the state and the team and into a role where he and Daniel are so so very close. Ahhh!!!

Though, Johnny still argues the merits of New York over Jersey. He takes Daniel all the time, even if they probably end up living in Jersey...together 😈 hehehe when they retire and the world's a little kinder, they will be the cutest famous couple, I'm telling you. Yeah I'm jumping the gun with the ~romance~ but whatever, sue me. I'm crazy about them.

Thank you anon!!! Who knew hockey could make Johnny into a New Jersey boy? I'm indebted to you. <3

[mj-thrush-gxn]

asking this to my fav dndads artists, do you ship any of the teens, if so whom with?

Sorry i took a little while to think about this

hmmmm

this is actually a really hard question because i haven’t really thought about it-

okay i’m gonna go teen by teen 🫡

Taylor— honestly, swiftli. I feel like link is the one taylor gets along best with, so it’s kinda hard for me to see taylor with anyone but link.— BUT ALSO the idea of gothweeb is adorable and i find it kinda funny. they kinda bully each other but it’s fun because i love them. gothweeb is probably my #2 taylor ship. —i feel like taylor and hero was funny but it would’ve never worked out, and it didn’t, and i thought it was really funny. so like, i didn’t really ship it, but i thought they were hilarious.

Link— this is when i reveal my biggest secret… i love gothcleats. i like gothcleats a lot more than i like swiftli. gothcleat moments are more serious and carry more meaning, swiftli if mainly just funny homoeroticism and i love it. i honestly don’t know how to explain why i like gothcleats so much i just do. they hold a special place in my heart. —swiftli is my second favorite. LIKE AHHHHHHHH!!! PIZZA, PISS, HOMOEROTICISM!!!! ALL THE BEST THINGS!!! once again, their relationship is mostly just them being dorky little dweebs and i love them for it. — I LOVE KICKWORTHY… but that’s mostly because it’s basically just me and my best friend and i thought it was funny. i love the joker, my best friend loves garfield, instant win.but in all seriousness, i don’t really have a big opinion on them. i feel like since link didn’t like him at all until after apollo four teens, they dont have a wholesome enough relationship. i know that link has warmed up to herm a lot since then and i find them cute, its just that. — oakicks- i love oakicks and i think that if they polished up their friendship that would be wonderful. norm tries so hard to make everything good for everyone, especially link and herm, but it never works for him. so like, if link had tried a little harder to be nice and include him earlier in the season, it coulda worked.

Norm— ah norm… poor sweet norm… ANYWAY!! Oakworthy. i love oakworthy. it’s so dimmed but i also think it’s so cool and i just think it should be 100% canon. i mean, normal has been manifesting it since the dance, so like, cmon. I feel like herm doesn’t actually like scary as much as he says he does. like it’s just part of the bit. if herm breaks character, the first thing he better do is give norm a smooch. that’s all im saying. i will choose to believe that hermie actually likes normal and is just playing a part rn. he has to crack. he just has to. Norm deserves to get what he wants for just once, and this is all he wants. please anthony, let will have his moment. — Coin Toss, do they actually have a ship name? cause if not i just came up with one. Anyway- scary and norm. i love them. they are so same narrative opposite direction and i love them for it. i see them as platonic but like, feel free to give the homies a kiss ig. but yeah i mostly see them as platonic and scary needs to accept that norm is her new best friend. deal. — i already laid out my reasons why oakicks doesn’t work. i love them but like 😔. —oakweeb just does not work. it never will. taylor bullies norm way too much.

Scary — uhhh- Gothcleats, Gothkicks, wtv. i already laid out my reasons in links section. but like, link and scary could help each other out so much. both of their lives would be (i don’t wanna say so much, but) better. anyway- scary just needs to accept that she can be loved. — gothweeb, i already laid out my thoughts in taylor’s section. i like that and i think they would be cute, but like, not established enough. so i see them as platonic. — already stated my case for coin toss, platonic and i love them. I will explain the whole scary and hermie thing in the herm section- cause i need to write down stuff for herm… — scerica. yes. i love them. let the girls be girls. i ship it, like extremely, but also- they only interacted once in canon. they are my teen, female, nark basically. yes.

Herm- THE SCENE PARTNERS- SCARY AND HERM ARE JUST SCENE PARTNERS TO HERM- I FEEL LIKE HERMIE AND SCARY ARE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS AND THEY SHOULD HAVE GIRLSNIGHT WITH MARGARITA AND ERICA- HERM REFERRED TO SCARY AS A SCENE PARTNER THATS ALL IM SAYING — oakworthy. yes. if hermie can get over himself and accept that scary is nothing but a friend and a scene partner, it would work. please. i am begging. — already stated my place on kickworthy — swiftworthy is illegal.

your welcome-

i rambled- a lot.

[hamausagi]

YES IT IS LIKE THAT AND NOW I WANT ALL OF THEM FOR YOU TOO I AM EYES EMOJING U SO HARD RN

YAYAYAY I AM EYES EMOJING YOU TOO

What is your nickname?

i don't really have one these days, but i suppose jake or august are still two of my favorite names i go by ^^

When is your birthday?

10/21/03 <3

What was your longest relationship?

1 year and 2 months (ended) (thank god)

What is your favorite book?

six of crows - leigh bardugo !

What is something you're insecure about?

the way i speak LMAO i cringe so much hearing my own voice or hearing the things i say. i feel like im so socially awkward and i hate it so bad 😭😭😭

5 Male celebrity crushes

uhhhhhh i dont rlly keep up with celebs like at all anymore but i used to be literally head over heels for chris pine when i was younger HELP

5 Female celebrity crushes

ZENDAYA and maybe saorise ronan ???? (help me i dont rlly care abt celebs)

What is your dream job?

concept/character artist for a game company !!!! (and to make my own games) (which i am currently working on)

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

finding out about my dream college last september after literally never knowing about it prior (besides a friend making an offhand comment abt it in like. 2017 that i forgot abt), finishing a portfolio in less than 2 months, and getting accepted LMAO

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

i used to play indoor and outdoor soccer year round, my indoor team competed in a lot of big brackets for the state (i now play no sports and i can barely go up more than 2 flights of stairs or run more than a few meters without dying) (thank you asthma and anemia 💪)

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

highs: FINSHED MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE WAHOOOO passed all my classes 🔥 made some new friends :D (and regained some old)

lows: uhhhhh mental health struggles mostly

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

i reeeeeaaalllyyyy really wanna go to japan so bad. im literally japanese and ive never been there, and i have family there ive never met that i want to see

How do you de-stress?

sleeping, drawing, playing some games, bothering the bf, gams with friends (unless its helldivers) (then i am stressed more)

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

pinterest my beloved <3

Describe yourself in one sentence.

good intentions, but poor execution

What do you think makes you attractive?

uhhhhh i have big eyes, smallish waist ???? i really try and prioritize other people (help i rlly dont know how to answer this)

What is something you're really good at?

drawing :3

What is something you're really bad at?

cooking LOL (im trying to get better)

A time that you told a lie.

telling the kid in my prj group that it was okay after he apologized for being literally the worst group member i have ever worked with (he literally did NOTHING and almost cost us the project several times)

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

bearded dragons can puff their eyes out along with puffing their chins when they get scared or feel threatened (thanks to ron for scaring the absolute shit out of me one day) (i thought he was dying)

Who knows you the best?

either my bf or my irl best friend :3

What is your most prized possession?

a wooden box my dad mae me a really really long time ago. that or this little sterling silver flip flop necklace my grandpa gave me a few years before he died when i was a kid

What is your longest friendship?

with my irl bsf, been friends 13 years now

When did you first feel like an adult?

either when my dad finally started actually swearing when talking to me or when i changed my car's oil myself for the first time

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

played soccer for like 11 years and did archery for 5 :3

How are you feeling right now?

im really tired and my cramps are killing me 👍 but im chillin

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owl even tho i rlly wish i was an early bird so bad. no matter when i go to bed or how many hrs of sleep i get its so hard to wake up before 9 am bro

Do you believe in love at first sight?

for ocs? yes. irl? absolutely not

Favorite song lyrics right now?

literally loving all the lyrics in a feeling - whxami but more specifically i am thinking abt waiting room - phoebe bridgers "if you were a teacher, i would fail your class take it over and over til you noticed me if you were a waiting room, i would never see a doctor i would sit there with my first aid kit and bleed"

also saw a robin edit to espresso - sabrina carpenter and now my brain is IM WORKING LAAAAATEEEE CAUSE IM A SINGERRRRRRR

What does self care look like for you?

taking showers and making myself food. i hate actually taking showers but the post shower untainted clean feeling is so unmatched bro its the best

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

RONEN, wave to earth, and two door cinema club

What makes you nervous?

meeting friends of friends (meeting new people is fine but its scarier if someone i know is introducing me), going to people's houses that i don't know very well

What’s a pet peeve you have?

trying to talk to someone but getting dry ass responses or no response at all

What will always make you cry?

bro. those tiktoks that are like. "if you know yourself which one are you picking". oh my god. those destroy me so bad

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

i honestly have zero idea bro 😭😭 if im meeting people at school im probably a little overwhelming (im loud asf at school) but if like. im meeting my friends parents or my bfs friends. i am a ghost

[corvosdaughter]

curious about your doto thoughts. i only played it once and reasonably enjoyed it (if anything, i had more issues w dh2) so im interested to read about your experience

sure thing!

first off i want to be absolutely clear that this rant is 100% petty. doto didn't, like, burn down my crops or (to my knowledge) influence any kind of shitty trend or real world harm. i don't have issues with gameplay, art etc which are ultimately bigger draws in the series. and the story was straightforward and mostly internally consistent, so ignoring the prior games, even that could be worse. but despite arkane claiming it worked as a standalone, much of the narrative's weight DOES rely on previous games. so i think it is fair to measure it up against previously established aspects of the series, and find it wanting.

when i saw promo material i thought the concept was... flawed. to be exact, i mean the idea of a) daud and billie going to b) kill the outsider because c) he's responsible for the awful shit in the world. any one or two of those points wouldn't have given me pause, but all three together seemed pretty contradictory to what we knew about the setting and the characters.

the outsider isn't responsible for the awful shit in the world. he just isn't. i do not think the previous games could possibly have emphasised this more. his direct actions are giving a handful of people magic powers and some hints, but what those are and how they are used (IF they are used) are shown to be completely reflective of the individuals both in story and gameplay. the average person in the empire is not affected by the existence of the marked at all. there is no evil magocracy. the closest thing, delilah's reign, is a takeover of the entrenched power structure and it can be defeated with the protagonist's own outsider-given abilities.

gangs, corruption, police states, religious control, wealth inequality, spreading of disease - these are the real issues that the citizens of dunwall and karnaca face daily, and they are completely independent of the outsider. time and time again we see that casting him as the source of society's ills is a hollow excuse for the perpetrators; it's exactly what the abbey does as it kidnaps children and murders "heretics". as a player, why would i think about killing the outsider when there are so many rotten institutions right there? it's even worse when dh2 portrays him as a historical murder victim himself, who seems to prefer it when people don't abuse their powers, even if he cynically expects they will.

and no one should know more about human choice than daud, post his dlcs. like, his entire character arc was realising that whatever the outsider gave him, he alone was responsible for his actions, so he must bear the consequences. it all comes down to his canonical low-chaos speech in dh1, after seeing corvo deliberately NOT slaughter his way through life: "you took a path i could have followed, but did not... you choose mercy. extraordinary." we are given every reason to believe his desire to retire peacefully is earnest and something he follows through on. the story's premise would be cheapened if he didn't.

as i see it, the key theme of dh1, its dlcs and dh2 is that, while privilege may blind and power may corrupt, there is always the choice to do better, and it is often the harder choice. and look, i think the doto writers may have been trying to expand on that. what about the root causes of privilege and power? who draws the lines? who can best try to take the system down, and what happens when they do? fair questions! but doto looks for the answers in all the wrong places, and so is at odds with the other games instead of in conversation with them.

it's kind of perfect that doto is so resolute in downplaying agency, really. if you're going to ignore the details of the stories you're building on, why not go the whole hog and make your message completely antithetical to theirs.

billie is the player character, but she is not in charge. she pretty much just goes along with whatever daud says, though she's not his young protegee anymore, and she had plenty of autonomy back when she was. there's so much focus on what daud's done and his mission and his angst about how he turned her into a killer and she's the one who has to carry out this job because he's dying etc. when they first reunite he asserts that he knew she'd come find him. because her life is supposed to revolve around him, i guess? ugh. a sprinkle of sentimentality is fine and even heartwarming, like the writers intended it to be, but to have it as The Story in this way just gives the impression that she's little more than an extension of him.

sure, you CAN technically question daud's idea of the outsider's culpability at the end, but 1) daud's dead and 2) the conversation goes straight back to whether the outsider should die for what it's asserted he's done. anyway, one argument in favour of saving him is "this wasn't his choice, he never asked for this power" lmao. it's just like how billie's void powers are forced on her (in an awfully uncharacteristic fashion by the outsider, i might add) and we're not supposed to worry too much about any carnage she causes with them.

the chaos system was one of the most interesting ways to deal with the violence = bad problem in violent video games. in doing away with it, doto pays lip service to the idea by having daud and billie wallow in guilt about their pasts, but there are no external consequences that might prompt actual introspection and a change in behaviour for them and the player. this means if you slaughter entire buildings of people, it's no biggie, nothing changes, never mind the fact that the story is trying to pose some ethical questions about murder. it also means daud is extremely annoying the whole way through. but hey - it's totally compatible with the theme that choices don't matter that much.

yet for something that's trying to be so different from its predecessors, i do think that doto relies a little heavily on nostalgia. if you aren't attached to the characters at the start, i doubt the game comes close to the emotional peaks it does otherwise. the narrated splashes aren't gonna do it alone - imagine if dh1's prologue didn't let you play with emily and simply told us that corvo looked after the empress' daughter - and there's not much character development throughout. i was definitely moved at times, i'm not going to pretend i wasn't! but often i felt it was despite the execution, not because of it.

also, "black-eyed bastard" was said way too much.

another issue was that i felt a lot of the script was written and delivered in a manner that wants to make you go "hmm, how thought-provoking", but the questions raised are never explored or answered meaningfully. even the ending is a stubbornly vague "i don't know..." i got a little sad when i noticed just how often potentially meaty bits of dialogue were redirected. it made those moments come across as insincere and non-committal even if they sounded good on their own. as an example, mid-game billie asks "is the outsider to blame for what we did? does corruption come from the void or from our own hearts?" then keeps talking about her plans to kill him. if she'd instead reflected on who was responsible for her current actions, even if there was no firm conclusion, i could believe that the story was trying to have a genuine discussion about the blame game that we could learn something from. but it's not that deep :(

overall i just feel like doto tried to take Cool parts of dishonored without always considering all the details that made them Good. a gruff assassin who has beef with god is a cool character, but he's a good character because of the specific arc he went through, and the version that shows up in doto is even less self aware than the one at the start of dh1; billie is cool because of her badass checkered past, but she is complex because her desire to be part of something bigger often conflicts with her independence and businesslike practicality, characteristics that doto doesn't really touch on; the outsider is cool as the powerful inhabitant of a supernatural dimension, but it's the distance from his devilish portrayal in the empire that makes him unique and interesting.

on a meta level, i've never seen anyone indicate a dislike of the outsider as a character, and to me the implications of his existence in the void is the most iconic part of the worldbuilding. killing OR removing him means arkane gives up the easiest, most sensible way to make a future dh game feel like Dishonored. it might never happen, but why close that particular door?* there was lots of speculation that the game was tying up the series for the forseeable future, which was probably true, but simply closing off the kaldwin era would have been enough for that. plus a smaller scope would also have been better for a small game. cosmic upheaval really deserves more gravity than doto was able to give.

what alternatives do i think might have worked? well, going back to the three points i mentioned earlier:

not centred on daud and billie, aim is still to kill the outsider who is believed to be responsible for everything - maybe a particularly zealous young overseer tries to actually do something about the outsider

centred on daud and billie, aim is not to kill the outsider, who is believed to be responsible for everything - maybe they can bring about the downfall of the abbey for good

centred on daud and billie, aim is to kill the outsider, who is not believed to be responsible for everything - maybe they have to reluctantly mercy kill the outsider for some void-related reason, or save him from someone else trying to assassinate him.

could work with any concept (i.e. i totally thought this would happen) - either billie or daud replaces the outsider in the void.

i did have issues with dh2 as well, and honestly they laid the groundwork for much of what i didn't like about doto. while i think the series always has fantastic incidental writing (whatever the collective word is for audiographs, journals etc.) the main stories have never been masterpieces, and dh2's attempt to lean more into character study wasn't super successful imo. to make some characters more sympathetic they sanded off some awesome unpleasant edges - why sokolov of all people got sad-dadified i'm still puzzled by. there's a lot more exposition. i preferred the more detached outsider from dh1. some references to dh1 and the dlcs were too fanservicey for my taste. but i think the biggest hint of things to come was the time travel mechanic - the focus was clearly "this will be really cool to play" and not "this is going to open a huge can of worms on the narrative level which we should try to address thoughtfully", the same way priorities probably were when it came to doto's "kill a god" setup. i get it, they're video games, not books. but this is how you get the insanity that IS the dishonored books. lol.

* i'm not counting deathloop as a dh game, and i haven't played it, but i read that the connections to the dh universe are more than just a couple of easter eggs. imo that does neither any favours - the dh timeline gets boxed in, and it makes deathloop look like its developers don't have faith in it as a standalone ip.

[fearowkenya]

Ocean Wave, Part 2: A Winding Current

“I was curious.” Dracmon fidgets idly with the little golden loop near the spike on his right wing. “Somethin’ about you drew me in… and I couldn’t walk away. When we fought together, it felt right. More right than anything I’ve ever, ever felt. And now… I just want to be with you.” Dracmon wasn't always by Kaito's side. Which begs the question: part 1 - footprints in the sand Who was he, before the arrival of his other half? part 2 - a winding current And what was he doing, on that fateful day?

Part 2 covers the moment that Dracmon and Kaito met for the first time. once again, tumblr dot shit hides posts with external links in tags, so the ao3 link is in the source.

EDIT: fixed formatting on ao3 - indentation on mobile should look better now. extended authors notes under cut!

SO there was a TON of ideas that went into part 2, mostly stemming from, as i've mentioned, me being mad that kaito and dracmon were the only ones not to get a fancy champion evo sequence on-screen. i said in my authors note on ao3 that as i was playing, i just assumed it happened off-screen, but then i asked myself "what if it didnt?" and the answer i came up with was "maybe dracmon could already innately reach champion" and then i worked backwards from there.

next - aesthetic changes to dracmon. i am a HUGE sucker for digimon being matchies with their partner. before dracmon met kaito, i think all of his eyes were red, both the ones on his face and the ones on his hands, and the ones that are green only became that way after meeting kaito and devolving from sangloupmon. it's kind of like in tamers when beelzemon's eyes change colour after he makes amends with his partners. i also made changes to the accessory situation - after meeting kaito, instead of the little chain with the green gem in the middle, dracmon would have piercings on his wingtips that are the same shape and on the same side as kaito's. i have like... a written list of all aesthetic changes across all stages for all the partner digimon at this point (except for renamon and gabumon - still thinking about those ones) so i will accept any invitation to blabber about them! i LOVE that shit, i cannot emphasize that enough!!

formatting this time was a little less intense - i only had one table i needed to work with, and tbh, most of my formatting issues were about indentation. im actually not really a fan of the standard ao3 formatting patterns, where there's double spacing after each paragraph and no indentation. i much much prefer how it is in most novels, where there's no double spacing and every paragraph is indented. i know people tend to be fussy about formatting in fics, and most of the ones ive seen use the double-spacing no-indenting situation. it's understandable, formatting is something i'm fussy about as well, so im trying to strike a balance between the way i like it and the way i've noticed that most others like it.

i like indenting. i use it to like... give a sense of flow to conversations and/or differentiate/shift between spoken word and narration. the vibe im trying to give when i increase indentation from line to line is that the conversation speed is picking up. im not sure how well that was conveyed, but i think it works all right.

once again, like in alligators, i left some deliberate loose ends. the most obvious one is "if that first tether pulling dracmon toward the ocean wasn't kaito, then what was it?" and listen. dont even worry about it (:

as im replaying the game, im noticing some really interesting stuff about the state of the digital world. in like...part 7, i think, there's an optional free time event where you can recruit a tentomon, and it mentions that a lot of other digimon have been behaving aggressively lately. paired with the fog, i think that what's happening is that the shrinking digital world is causing a lot of digimon to have to live in close quarters, and that a lot of them are "young" in the sense that they're still feral and incapable of speech or reason. that, plus the continuous spread of the fog, would make for a really hostile environment for the remaining areas of the world. im quite happy with the theory i've got that digimon might sometimes lose a bit of memory every time they regenerate. if you subscribe to that idea, the unusual aggression among the wild digimon makes a lot of sense - they're all young, they all keep getting exploded and forgetting what's going on, theres this terrifying fucking fog EVERYWHERE, which just feeds back into wild digimon being more on-edge, and therefore more aggressive. thats why tsumemon is a little unsure of hanging out with koromon at first in part 1 - it's a dangerous world for little guys!

this is kinda connected to why i have the digimon half of the cast crossing paths with one another. tsumemon and koromon have met, yeah, (even though they don't remember anymore) but also i think a few of the other characters have met too. i didn't linger on it, but kunemon was in part one of ocean wave , albeit very briefly, trying to warn dracmon about seadramon lol. Now Why Would He Do That? again. don't worry about it (:

and at last - what's next? i mentioned in another text post a few days ago that ideally id like to go back to some shuuji and lopmon stuff. ocean wave set up some context about a couple of things i want to explore about shuuji and lopmon's relationship, as well as some . hmm. alternate events. and what effect those alternate events have on the two of them. "what do you mean" dont worry (: mostly it is just me self-indulgently fixing a few gripes i had with truthful route's part 6. i'd also at some point like to post some doodles of aesthetic changes. i have a few sketched out but they're very messy lol

anyway wow this was a big ol comment post. thanks for reading this far !!