#i think it happened around christmas so he was probably drunk

[finelinefae]

camping [pilot!harry x teacher!yn]

synopsis: It’s the 1950s. Harry and Y/N leave the air base to go on a camping trip in July and their feelings are all over the place.

word count: 13.2k (!?)

contains: friends to lovers, opposites attract, violence, nightmares, flirting, smoking, fluff, smut (breeding kink, size kink, she's on top, cockwarming *if you squint*), forced proximity

this is part 2 of the aviator, you can read part 1 here

. . .

“Leave me alone Harry!” Y/N stormed several paces in front of him, hugging her arms around herself to try and keep herself warm. 

“Birdy, c’mon now, it’s not what y’ think it is.” Harry kept his distance behind her but had been following her home since she stormed off after she’d caught him with her housemate, Nancy. 

“Quit calling me that! And will you stop following me?” She spun round and he immediately froze in his steps. 

“Promised I’d walk y’ home,” He shrugged, “Not gonna let y’ walk home in the dark alone.”

“I’d probably be better off,” Y/N huffed, crossing her arms.

“Will y’ let me explain?” Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. Y/N opened her mouth to say something but he carried on talking, “I won’t quit following y’ if that’s what y’ gonna say and the view of the back of y’ head is just as pretty as the front so there’s no way y’ gonna stop me. I just… Will you let me explain? Please?” 

Y/N scoffs like she can’t believe what she’s hearing right now. What would it take for him to take a message and leave her be? “You’re not used to hearing the word no are you?” 

“I respect it but doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop trying. God, especially not with you.” Every part of him seemed serious. Y/N’s shoulders dropped and he took it as a sign to continue, “Me and Nancy we have history tha’s for sure,” He started and the words made Y/N’s chest ache, “But we only slept together a couple times before Christmas tha’s all. She came out and found me smoking and I realised she was a ‘lil drunk. I tried to pull her off me but she wasn’t having it, said she saw me outside with y’ and got upset.”

Y/N frowned, unsure of whether to believe him or not, “Listen, I know you’ve heard things about me but-” He dug his heel into the ground and chuckled lightly, “I ain’t ever felt the way I did back there when I kissed y’ Y/N and I’m not jus’ saying that.” 

Y/N felt some of the anger dissipate from her body, replaced by pure frustration. She hadn't come to Offutt to get tangled up in a mess with a man she barely knew, yet here she was. Nancy's revelation about having her sights set on a man hit Y/N like a ton of bricks. If she had known it was Harry, she might never have kissed him in the first place. She hardly knew Harry beyond their brief interactions and the hearsay from her housemates. How could she trust him? Yet, despite her doubts, there was one undeniable truth: the kiss they had shared lingered vividly in her mind. The taste of peppermint and cigarettes still clung to her lips, a tangible reminder of their brief encounter. It was a moment that now intertwined her with him in a way she wasn't expecting.

Y/N huffed, “And what? I’m just meant to believe you now. Take your word for it and run into your arms and kiss you again?”

“That’d be nice, yeah.” Harry smiled, his hands in the pockets of his trousers. 

Y/N shook her head, trying to process everything Harry had just said. Despite her frustration and confusion, there was a part of her that wanted to believe him. She knew deep down that she couldn't deny the chemistry they shared during that kiss, but she also couldn't ignore the uncertainty punching at her gut. 

"Harry, I... I don't know what to think," Y/N admitted, her voice softer now, lacking the edge of anger from before. "I want to trust you, but it's hard after everything that's happened and what’s been said. I-I don’t know you that well is all."

Harry stepped closer, his expression earnest. "I understand, Birdy. And I don't expect you to trust me blindly. But hey maybe we could start as friends, get to know each other better before anything else, if that would make y' comfortable."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, considering his suggestion. The idea of starting as friends seemed more sensible, given the circumstances. "Friends?"

"Yeah, friends," Harry confirmed a hopeful glint in his eyes. "No expectations, just getting to know each other without any pressure."

Y/N nodded slowly, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Alright, I like that idea.” 

Harry grinned, relieved that she seemed to be willing to give him a chance. "Well, you need more of ‘em.”

Y/N’s smile disappeared, “I do not! I have plenty of friends.”

“The girls at the nursery don’t count,” Harry smirks, “And neither does Elise.”

“Whatever,” Y/N muttered, spinning on her heel to continue her journey home. She heard Harry’s footsteps jogging up to meet her and was surprised to feel his jacket being placed over her shoulders. 

Harry put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Y/N’s heart stuttered, “Friends don’t do that you know.” She grumbled, pretending to act grumpy around him in hopes it would hide the fact that she was most definitely swooning inside. 

“Oh? I do it with my friends all the time. Sometimes I kiss them on the lips too, we can try if y’ want-” Y/N looked up at him, glaring, “Alright then, another time.”

Y/N let Harry walk her the remainder of the way home, feeling a little more at peace with the fact she would be welcoming him into her life, even if it was just as friends for now. She hoped it would be enough to get to know him and eventually, she’d trust him enough to allow their relationship to blossom into something more and hopefully sometime soon because when Harry had left her on the doorstep of her house, she knew she’d be dreaming of that kiss every time she looked at him. 

Y/N closed the door as gently as she could, pressing her forehead against the wooden frame. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding before walking into the kitchen where Nancy was standing, “How’d you get home so quickly?” Y/N asked, unable to meet her hard stare.

“Harry must have taken you the long way home.” She shrugged pushing her chair back from the table, the legs of her chair scraping against the tiled ground.

“I-I didn’t know Harry was the guy you were talking about Nancy,” Y/N said truthfully.

“Would it have made any difference?” Nancy asked, a bite to her tone.

Y/N sighed, “All this was never my decision. Harry asked me to the dance, I-I didn't know it was going to be such a big deal.” 

“Harry loves attention from any girl who bats her eyelashes and twirls her hair.” Nancy glared, “You don’t make the exception.” 

Y/N straightened her shoulders, “What if I do?” She wasn’t going to allow herself to be belittled by another woman over a man she had just met.

Nancy snickered, “Are you that entitled?”

“Harry’s smart enough to make his own decisions Nancy and I’m not going to be involved in whatever petty game you think this is. Not only is it up to him to decide who he likes but it’s my decision too and if he’s not with anybody then I can decide whether I should be allowed to get to know him or not.” Y/N declared.

Nancy narrowed her eyes, “I’m not trying to compete with you but I’d be careful if I were you. If you’re planning on standing so close to the fire prepared to get burnt. Those Styles boys have their things going on. Harry hasn't the faintest idea of what to do with a girl outside of the bedroom. I've known him long enough for that.” 

“Maybe you don’t know him that well.” 

“Maybe,” Nancy shrugged, “Maybe you can tell me all about it when you realise he’s not all he says he is.” 

“Why do you want him if you have no faith in him?” Y/N asked.

“I said I had my eye on him, not that I planned on settling down with him. Every girl wants to sleep with him and not only because he’s Offutt’s best pilot, he’s the only man who knows what he’s doing.” Nancy stands from her chair, “I won’t compete but I don’t particularly enjoy being proven wrong.” She moved past her, leaving Y/N standing in the kitchen. 

. . . 

As winter turned to spring and spring into summer, Y/N and Harry's friendship seemed to blossom with the seasons. They had developed a type of bond that neither of them had with anybody else and through it they learnt more about themselves and each other. Ever since the night they began their relationship, there was never a moment where Y/N wasn’t seen with the brunette aviator walking beside her. 

Even Harry’s brothers had come to enjoy Y/N's company. Somehow she had taken on this maternal presence within their family dynamic that none of the siblings had ever really had before. Sonny had taken a particular liking to having Y/N around, enjoying the free time he had now that Y/N would sometimes volunteer to put Elise to bed in the evenings. 

Along with Harry’s brothers, also came Y/N’s housemates Molly and Patsy. She had become good friends with them too in the last few months and now she finally had her own little girl group to hang out with (they’d often include Elise in that group too). 

The group had become their own little, dysfunctional family on Offutt. 

Even though their friendship was meant to be the start of something more, Y/N and Harry hadn’t spoken much about that night at the dance since it had happened. Even with Harry’s flirtatious teasing from time to time, Y/N couldn’t help but feel that something had happened between them like this friendship had created a strange liminal space between them that held so many questions. She loved the current dynamic - the comfort everyone shared, even amidst their occasional bickering. It made her wonder if this was how it was supposed to be, and perhaps Harry thought so too.

However, her feelings for Harry continued to grow stronger with every passing day. She would dream of the kiss they shared and wake up with a strong ache in her chest at the idea that it would never happen again. Every day she tried to coax herself into talking to him about how she felt and every day she’d get distracted or put off by doubts and the voice in the back of her head warning her, telling her enough time had passed that maybe Harry didn’t have feelings for her anymore which is why he never bought them up. 

It was July now and the girls were sitting eating breakfast in the kitchen. Y/N was nibbling on a piece of slightly burnt toast as Molly rambled on about how busy her day was going to be down at the hairdresser with her hair rollers still in her hair. 

Opposite Y/N at the table sat Nancy, who had hardly spoken since waking up. She was dressed to the nines, her hair perfectly curled, and her uniform immaculately pressed. The tension between the two girls lingered from the dance night. It was clear Nancy was prepared to do anything for Harry's attention, even if he didn't see it. While Nancy seemed distant, Y/N tried to keep things friendly, despite the awkwardness between them. They had to live with each other after all. 

Y/N had seen Nancy and Harry alone together a few times and even if it filled her with an insatiable amount of jealousy, she wouldn’t allow herself to get involved with whatever went on between them. This wasn’t a competition she was taking part in, her feelings were her own and so were Nancy's. What mattered was her own relationship with Harry because it had slowly become the most important thing in her life. 

The front door burst open, Sonny’s voice boomed down the hallway, “Good morning ladies!” 

“Is anyone ever going to teach those boys how to knock?” Molly grumbled, standing from the table to lean against the kitchen counter, “I oughta start locking that front door before I go to bed.”

Y/N looked down to hide her smile as three grown men, dressed in overalls and white t-shirts walked into the room, one of them holding the small toddler in his arms. “Give me the baby!” Patsy launched from her chair and reached for Elise, smothering the girl in kisses. 

“Can I have a turn, Patsy?” Sonny asked, batting his eyelashes playfully. 

“You wish,” Patsy glared. 

“Morning Nancy,” George grinned, only to receive a curt nod in return, “Good morning George, y’ sure are looking mighty fine in tha’ uniform of yours,”  George remarked, his voice slightly mocking, delivered in a high pitch to tease her. 

Nancy stood from her seat, glaring up at the tall brother in front of her, “Good morning George, do you mind getting out of my way? I’ve got work to do, unlike some people.” 

“How could y’ say that? I’m always working,” He argued.

“Cigarettes and arm wrestling during work hours do not count as working.” Nancy picked her bag up from under her chair. 

“Know y’ like watching though darlin’.” He smirked and Nancy scoffed, shoving past him and leaving the house. 

“Y’ oughta be careful with that one George,” Molly smirked, taking out a cigarette and offering one to him.

“She’s all good,” He shrugged, his eyes on the seat Nancy had been sitting in.

Y/N’s smile dropped when someone snatched the piece of toast she was eating from her hand. She looked up and was met with green eyes looking down at her, a lazy grin on the face she saw every day, “Hi birdy,” His voice was always deeper than usual in the mornings 

“Hi Harry,” Y/N grinned. 

He grabbed the empty chair that Nancy had been sitting in and lifted it from the tiled floor to sit next to her. His eyes flitted around her face, and the corner of his lips turned upwards, “You’ve got jam-” He reached his thumb out and wiped away the jam from the corner of her lips. Y/N’s cheeks tinged pink, “There y’ go.”

“Thanks,” Y/N murmured, looking away from his intense gaze. 

“No problem,” He smirked, “Y’ look beautiful by the way.”

Harry said the same thing almost every morning and Y/N never failed to blush whenever he told her the compliment. “I only woke up thirty minutes ago, I haven’t even run a brush through my hair.”

“And you still look beautiful. It’s unfair birdy, truly it is.” He sighed, shaking his head dramatically.

Y/N giggled, “You’re such an idiot.” 

“So what brings you boys here so early? Ran out of food back home?” Molly asked, reaching for Elise since apparently, it was her time to hold her. 

“We’re going off base with some of the guys later to the town to buy camping gear for the trip,” Sonny explained, taking a sip of black coffee from Patsy’s mug. 

“What happened to the stuff from last year?” Molly quirked a brow, “It was perfectly fine when we left it.”

Harry reached for Y/N’s hand and mindlessly played with her fingers as people spoke. George shrugs, “There’s more of us going this year so either way we need more tents.”

"What are you talking about?" She asked, turning to Harry for an explanation.

All eyes turned to her, then to Harry, their expressions puzzled. George's frown deepened. "You never told her?"

Y/N's gaze remained fixed on Harry, waiting for his response as he dropped her hand onto his lap.

"Every year on the last week of July, a huge group of us go camping down at Harpers Lake," Sonny explained. "It's a five-hour hike, and we camp out for two nights. We're all going this year, and we thought Harry over there already told you about it, but clearly he didn't."

Y/N's eyes narrowed slightly. "I thought Molly would have told you," Harry admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

Y/N's eyes darted around at everyone's faces as they looked at her expectantly, "I-I don't know if I'll get time off at the nursery," Y/N stuttered, feeling a wave of uncertainty wash over her.

"Hey, I'm sure someone'll cover for you," Harry reassured her with a shrug. "If you don't go, I won't go either."

"Harry," she huffed, unable to resist the warmth in his eyes. "What about Elise? Who will take care of her?"

"Elise is coming, of course," Sonny piped in. "You think the Styles go anywhere without each other?"

Y/N glanced at Harry, her heart softening at his earnest expression. He gently picked up her hand again, squeezing her fingers lightly as if to persuade her to come with them. Harry's gaze held hers, his voice soft but determined. "If you’re worried about skipping work, it’ll be fine. We'll figure that out together, Birdy. I promise."

“I hate camping,” Y/N confessed, the corner of his lips quirking.

“But y’ haven’t camped with me yet.” He smirked as if doing anything with him was the solution to everything. 

Y/N’s shoulders sagged, “Okay, fine.” She relented, falling into their persuasion. Though the idea of camping was her worst nightmare, being with Harry off-base seemed to make it bearable. 

Eventually, everyone left to start their day of work. Y/N took Elise into her arms and made her way down to the nursery, “Y/N!” Harry called, she turned and saw him running up to them from down the road. “Y’ not mad at me are you?” 

Y/N frowned, “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Y’ know,” He stood straight, scratching the back of his neck, something he always did when he was nervous or about to say something sincere, “Because I didn’t tell you about the camping trip. I was meant to but every time I’m with y’ all the things I plan to say just seem to slip from my mind.” 

Y/N’s face softens, “No I’m not mad at you Harry. I mean, I wish I could have found out sooner, but if you say it’ll be fine, I’ll believe you.”

Harry grinned, a dimple carving into his cheek, “Y’ believe me huh?” He took a step forward until he stood directly in front of her. 

Y/N’s heart stuttered at the proximity, “Y-yeah, I do.” She murmurs. 

Harry’s hand reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, “Y’ might be the only one.” He whispers his breath minty from the gum he was chewing on. 

His eyes darted to her lips and then back up again. Even though they were outside, Y/N felt the oxygen slipping from the space around her until a tiny, chubby hand swatted Harry’s face out of the way, “No!” Elise yells and starts to ramble. 

Harry’s expression shifted, his features softening with amusement. He grabs Elise’s hand and starts pressing kisses to the inside of her palm, “What do y’ mean no? Y’ don’t like it when I speak to my best friend? ‘S that because you’re my best friend Elise?” Harry teases, pretending to bite her small hand. 

Y/N giggles, “It seems I’m always competing with somebody for your attention.” She jokes but Harry’s smile falters.

“Y’ don’t need to do that,” He murmurs, “Y’ too special to me to do that.” 

Elise carried on rambling as Y/N remained silent, surprised by Harry’s words. That classic, flirtatious grin reappeared once more on Harry's face as he pressed a quick kiss to Elise’s cheek and then Y/N’s too, “I’ll see you later, baby girl.” He said to Elise. 

He walked backwards, eyes fixed on Y/N, “I’ll see both my best girl’s later!” He winked and then turned around. 

“Your brother is stupid,” Y/N said to Elise. 

“Ha, Ha!” Elise pointed at her brother who disappeared around the corner, calling him the name she always called him since she couldn’t say his full name properly yet. 

“Ha Ha indeed,” Y/N sighed, making her way to the nursery. 

. . .

The camping trip had been a tradition in Offutt for the last ten years or so. Harry had been with his brothers ever since he had come to Offutt. He mostly enjoyed it for the fact that he got to spend time away from the Air Base. He didn’t do very much other than smoke cigarettes and maybe sleep with one or two people if he felt like it. 

This time though felt different. Harry had never been this excited about a camping trip before, especially not with Y/N. It had been ages since he anticipated anything, but the thought of spending two entire nights with the girl who had completely transformed his life was exhilarating enough to have him willingly sleeping in a tent out in the wilderness.

They were into the final hour of the hike to Harper’s Lake. The sun was beating down on their faces and Y/N and Harry were way behind the rest of the group. Y/N had been huffing and puffing ever since the halfway point of the trail. It had kept Harry rather amused during what was often a long and boring walk.

Harry walked in front wearing a white vest and cargo trousers, an unlit cigarette dangling between his lips and a silver dog tag around his neck. Y/N was walking behind him, beating bushes with a big stick as she walked by them. 

“Y’ keep beating up those bushes back there darling and they’ll start shouting back to y’.” Harry smiled to himself as he heard her mumbles. “You dawdling back there?”

“No,” Y/N snaps, “I do not dawdle thank you.” Her feet were slipping. She didn’t have decent shoes to wear and Harry had already had to stop twice to put bandages on both her knees which was probably why they were so behind from the rest of the group.

“Why couldn’t we just fly? You’re a pilot Harry, can’t you go get us a plane?” 

“Y’ want me to get a military plane to fly us to a lake so that y’ don’t have to get all hot and bothered 'cause you’re walking, is that right birdy?” Harry holds back a laugh.

“Well, I don’t see the point in flying planes if you’re not gonna use them.” She mumbles.

Harry stops and turns around to look at her. She’s wearing a shirt that’s too big for her and shorts on her small legs. He let her borrow his flight cap so she didn’t get sunburnt but it was too big for her head so it covered her eyes. “Are y’ asking for a lift up the hill?” 

Y/N fell silent, her gaze drifting past him to the peak of the hill. She nodded quietly. Harry chuckled, dropping his bag to the ground. Turning around, he squatted and gestured behind him, arms outstretched. "Hop on, birdy."

“Are you sure? What if I'm too heavy.” Y/N says.

“I’m only offering once so I’d make the most of it if I were you.” He teased and waited for her to jump on his back.

He heard her feet tread along the ground before stopping behind him. She put her body weight onto him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, “Y’ won’t drop me, will you? Because it’s not gonna be funny if you do.”

“Never,” he promised, lifting himself off the ground. Y/N wrapped her legs around his waist and he picked up his bag off the floor. “How’s the view up there birdy?”

“Pretty,” she said, her lips close to his ear.

“I bet,” he said to himself before tracking up the hill.

The lake glimmered in the sunlight, surrounded by birch and willow trees. Y/N had never seen something so beautiful before as she looked over Harry’s head to see where they’d be staying the next few nights. Her feet hit the floor as Harry released her from his grip. There were around thirty people from the base who had come along on the trip and were already deciding where they were going to set up their camping spots. 

Y/N glanced around to spot her friends only to find them already bickering with each other in a shaded spot away from everyone else. Patsy and Molly were sharing a tent, while Sonny and George were setting up theirs with Elise. Harry had his own tent, and Y/N had bought a separate one as well. “Hey Patsy, have you seen my tent?” Y/N glanced around the floor where everyone had thrown their bags. 

“No, I thought you would have taken it.” Patsy shrugged.

“Me too,” Y/N huffed, looking through her backpack to see if she had packed the small tent she had bought. 

“Have you lost it?” Molly asked. Y/N frantically shoved some of the bags out of the way, hoping to spot it somewhere, until the realisation hit her like a ton of bricks.

It was sitting on the couch in the living room of her house, five hours away from where they were camping.

“You left it at home?” Sonny burst out laughing, Y/N’s cheeks flushing red. 

“It’s not funny Sonny,” Patsy whacked him on the shoulder, “Where’s she meant to sleep?"

“With me.” A voice spoke, and Y/N turned around to see Harry standing with aviator sunglasses covering his eyes. 

“W-what?” Y/N stuttered as if she couldn’t believe what was happening. 

“Well unless y’ wanna sleep with Elise, Birdy, the only other option is with me.” He shrugs as if it was no big deal that he was offering her to sleep in his one-man tent. 

“I-I can sleep with Elise,” She noticed how no one was saying anything or coming up with other ideas for her sleeping arrangement. She could have sworn she saw her two housemates giggling in the corner of her eye.

"And I could sleep with Elise too, but you know why I don’t?" Harry chuckled, shaking his head. "It's because all three of my siblings seem to have inherited a gene that I missed out on. Trust me, Birdy, you don’t wanna sleep in a tent with a snoring swing band the whole night."

Harry reached out and gently tugged her hand, “We’ve slept in the same room before.”

“Yeah but you slept on the floor,” She crossed her arms, trying to think of any other way she could sleep without having to share a small space with the guy she had feelings for. Y/N glanced around at her friends who immediately went about fixing their own tents as if they hadn’t stopped to watch the whole ordeal. She sighed, “Fine.”

Y/N brushed past Harry. He quickly snatched off his hat she was wearing and placed it on his own head, grinning, “It’ll be fun,” 

By the time they had set up the tent, it had dawned on Y/N exactly what she had agreed to. The tent was barely large enough for one person, let alone two, and with Harry's muscular frame, she couldn't fathom how they were meant to sleep without being practically on top of each other.

As Y/N unravelled her sleeping bag, Harry’s head peaked through the entrance, “A few of us are borrowing bikes to head to the nearest gas station to buy things for the barbecue if y’ wanna come.” 

Y/N nodded, “Just give me a second and I’ll be right out.” He nodded and paused as though he wanted to say something else before shaking his head and leaving. Y/N released a sigh and pushed back her hair wondering how she even got into this mess in the first place.

Harry was standing by two bikes, holding Elise in his arms, “A few of ‘em already went ahead.” 

“I didn’t know Elise was gonna be here,” Y/N cooed and pinched the two-year-old's chubby cheek. Harry’s eyes warmed before he placed her in the basket of his bicycle. “Is that safe?” Y/N frowned. 

“Course it is,” He shrugged. 

Soon they were riding side by side with Elise squealing in the basket of Harry’s bike, her small fingers gripping onto the front of the basket as the wind blew through her hair. Y/N’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much as she watched the two year old laugh and scream with excitement. 

Eventually they pulled over into the gas station. Y/N held Elise as Harry grabbed the things they needed for the barbecue, “Do y’ wanna ice cream Elise?” Y/N gasped, taking her to the freezer to pick out an ice cream.

Elise squealed and babbled incoherently as she picked the most colourful ice pop in the whole freezer. Y/N picked out two for herself and Harry to have since it was so hot out and they still needed to ride back to the campsite again.

They sat under a grouping of trees, Elise inbetween Harry’s legs as he helped her eat her ice pop. He’d have to wipe her chin every now and then with how sloppy she was when eating, “There y’ go baby girl, that ice pop ain’t going anywhere,” Harry chuckled as Elise gripped the ice pop in two hands. 

Y/N smiled to herself as she watched the two of them interact, Elise’s adorable antics continuing to amuse them both. She couldn’t help but think about how strangely normal this all felt. Despite the little time they had known the Styles’ siblings, it felt like they had known each other for much longer. The ease with which they connected, the laughter shared between them—it all felt so natural, as if they were meant to be together in that moment.

Harry’s eyes lingered on Y/N’s face with a hint of a smile on his lips, “What’s going on in that head of yours Birdy?”

Y/N smiled, “Nothing, I’m just happy.”

Harry looked surprised, “Y’ are?” 

“Yeah,” She nodded, “I am. Are you?”

Harry thought for a moment, “Yeah Birdy,” He grinned, dimples popping, “I am.” 

Their exchanged smiles lingered for a moment longer before Harry stood up, “We should probably start heading back before the sun goes down.”

“Yeah,” Y/N sighs, she could have stayed right there in that moment for a little longer but she knew they needed to get back to feed the others. 

They picked up their bikes off the floor and began their journey back, stealing glances at each other when the other one wasn’t looking. Y/N’s heart fluttered everytime he caught her eye and looked away bashfully. 

After eating and staying out to talk to her friends, Y/N was already ready for bed and wrapped up in her sleeping bag. She was wearing her pyjamas and an eye mask on top of her head. She wanted to make sure she was the first person in the tent so that she could be the first one to claim her space. 

She tried to relax but her heart was racing when she heard Harry’s voice from outside as he said goodnight to his little sister in the tent next door. Y/N randomly picked up a book she had bought with her and pretended to read as the entrance to the tent lifted open and Harry crawled in. 

He was in nothing but a pair of shorts, his tattooed torso completely bare, “Normally I’d wear less than this but since the lady’s present,” He smirked. 

Y/N scoffed, “How kind,” 

There was nothing but the rustling of his sleeping bag as he crawled into the tight spot next to him. Y/N’s eyes widened when she felt his arm right next to hers as they lay side by side in such close proximity. She immediately sat up, looking down at his relaxed state, “What?” He frowned.

“Can’t you move over a little?” She huffed, even though they both knew there wasn’t exactly anywhere to move. 

His head turned, “Where exactly?”

“I-I don’t know!” She exclaimed.

Harry smiled as though he were amused by her franticness, “Oh c’mon Birdy, I don’t bite. I mean I may get a little bit touchy in the night but that’s no fault of my own.” 

“Harry,” She sighed. 

His expression faltered. "Fine," he muttered. Reaching beside him, he retrieved the blanket he had stowed away. Sitting up, he rolled it up and placed it between them. Y/N settled back down, the blanket now forming a barrier between them. Though it sacrificed some space, she found herself feeling a bit more at ease with the added distance.

“Thank you,” She sighed. 

“Mhm,” Harry huffed. 

A silence settled between them. Y/N, exhausted from the hike, found herself unable to drift off to sleep quickly. Her mind raced as she listened to the man beside her breathing softly. "Y' trust me, don't you, birdy?" he whispered into the darkness.

She thought for a moment, “More than I did before.” 

“But not completely?” Harry’s voice seemed sad, almost defeated. 

She said nothing, wondering what she could say. Of course she trusted him, he had been nothing but good to her these last few months and proved to her he wasn’t what most people said he was. Even if he was a flirt and enjoyed attention from time to time, he was loyal to the people he held close in his life and she adored that about him. 

“You’re getting there,” She whispered but the truth was he was already there. She just didn’t know if she trusted herself. 

Y/N woke up in the middle of the night when she felt something jolt next to her. Groggy and disoriented, she blinked in the darkness, trying to make sense of her surroundings. As her eyes adjusted, she realised that Harry was stirring restlessly, his breathing ragged and uneven.

“H-Harry?” Y/N sat up, the sleeping bag falling to her waist. She reached out and placed her hand on his arm to shake him, “Harry wake up,” She urged, voice laced with concern. 

She noticed how he had begun to shiver, his arm covered in goosebumps. Y/N reached to put her hand gently against his forehead and hoped that her touch would provide some warmth to his shivering body. “Harry, you’re dreaming, it’s just a dream.” She tried to coax him out of his sleep without scaring him more than he already was. 

Harry's eyes snapped open, wide with fear as he gasped for breath. His chest heaved with each ragged breath, and Y/N could see the remnants of tears glistening in his eyes.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Y/N murmured soothingly, her heart aching at the sight of Harry's distress, “You just had a nightmare that’s all.”

Harry's breathing gradually slowed as he focused on Y/N's voice, the warmth of her presence calming whatever dark thing that lurked inside of him. With a shaky exhale, his head fell, “Fuck,” He hissed, “Did I wake y’ up?” He looked up at her, his eyes tired and sad. Y/N warily nodded her head, “M sorry, M so sorry.”

“Hey, Harry, it's fine. It’s okay.” She reached out to wrap her arms around his shoulders, she could feel a thin layer of cold sweat on his back as her palm pressed against his shoulder. 

Harry took the opportunity to bury his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling the floral scent of her perfume as if it would be enough to bring him back from whatever memory he was trapped in. Y/N wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as she whispered words of reassurance. She gently stroked his hair, feeling the tension slowly melt away from his body.

“It was real,” Harry whispered. 

“W-what?” Y/N pulled away, still holding him.

“M-my old man left me out in the cold one night when I tried to stop him from hurting my Mama. He kicked me out in the backyard and locked the door behind him like I was some old dog.” He spat the words out, full of anger. 

Y/N’s eyes welled with tears, “He hurt you?”

Harry exhaled shakily, as though he was trying not to cry, “Y-yeah he did Birdy, real bad.” The way he said it made Y/N believe it wasn’t the only time his father had hurt him. 

Y/N swallowed back her tears, her throat burning. She held his face in her hands and forced him to look right at her, “Y’ might have to be big and brave for your brothers and Elise but y’ can be whatever you want with me.” She murmured, “I won’t let anything hurt you, Harry.”

His eyes softened, something flashed in them as Y/N moved her face closer to kiss his cheek, tasting the saltiness of his dried tears. “God where have y’ been all my life birdy?” He whispered, their lips inches apart. 

“It doesn’t matter,” She shook her head, “I’m here now.” 

Y/N made space for Harry to lay back down, but he couldn't seem to let go of her. She noticed how he held onto her hand whenever she tried to move away. So, she removed the rolled-up blanket between them and unzipped the tops of both of their sleeping bags. Once they were lying next to each other, she placed the blanket on top of them for extra warmth.

Harry’s arms reached out for her and he didn’t even ask before he was holding her close to his chest. She could hear the beating of his heart as her ear pressed against it. “Y’ not afraid are you?” She asked, peering up at him to see his eyes closed gently. 

“No, that's just how it goes whenever I’m around you. Y’ get used to it after a while, don’t worry.” He murmured. 

Y/N’s heart seemed to pick up pace until it matched his own, “Okay.” She whispered and fell asleep in his arms. 

The next morning, Y/N awoke in the embrace of Harry who was still fast asleep. She thought back to last night and how she had never seen him so afraid before. She pressed a kiss to his cheek when she sat up and tried to leave the tent without making much of a noise. 

She reached for her sweater and pulled it over her torso so she wouldn’t get cold from the morning air. “Good morning sunshine!” Molly grinned, “How’d your first night with the pilot go?”

Patsy giggled, “Yeah how’d it go?”

Y/N bit back a smile, “It was nothing like that and you know it.” She said but they weren’t accepting it as an answer. 

George smirked, “I better not wake up an uncle by tomorrow morning.”

Y/N’s mouth gaped open, she hit him on the arm playfully and grabbed a carton of orange juice from the crate, “I’m two months older than you so I’d be careful!” She glared. 

“Ha! Ha!” Elise grinned, her mouth covered in yogurt as she stood and stumbled over to Y/N’s tent. 

"Good morning, baby girl," Harry's raspy voice greeted, a hint of strain evident as he lifted Elise into his arms, “Y’ sure are a little mess, madam.” He chuckled. 

Y/N tried to resist the urge to look at him as everyone greeted him with a good morning. She settled into one of the camping chairs, folding her legs beneath her, but soon a shadow loomed over her, blocking the sun, “Good morning Birdy,” His voice was deep and raspy. 

She looked up at him through her eyelashes, “Morning Harry.”

“Where’d y’ go? Left me cold in tha’ tent this morning y’ know?” Multiple snorts came from the group around them. 

“I-I was-” She didn’t know what to say and she was pretty sure her face was the colour of a tomato.

“Wake me up next time, yeah?” He smirks, leaving her to grab some of the coffee Molly had made.

“Oh, so there’s a next time huh?” George winked. 

Y/N cleared her throat, feeling flustered from the interaction. "So, what's everyone doing today?" She attempted to change the subject, wondering if there would ever be a moment on this trip where she wouldn't be embarrassed by something she wasn’t expecting. 

. . .

Y/N didn’t see Harry for the rest of the morning as the girls got ready to go swim in the lake for the afternoon. Due to the tent mishap, Y/N was worried she’d forgotten her bathing suit as well but luckily found it at the bottom of her bag. 

Molly was already in a blue, plaid halter one-piece that tied around her neck and Patsy was wearing a yellow one with a bow on the front. Y/N stepped out of the tent after getting changed, “Oh no, you can’t wear that.” Molly was the first to comment. 

Y/N frowned, looking down at her plain black and white striped swimsuit, “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” Molly pulled the cigarette from her lips, “Honey y’ look like a crosswalk in upstate New York.” Patsy snorted.

“It’s not that bad,” She huffed, reaching for the suntan lotion only for Molly to snatch it from her grasp. 

“Honey, this trip isn’t just a relaxing break for our pilots - it’s also the chance for us ladies to get a little something out of it. Think about it, all those men do is work and all we do is sit around waiting for some excitement. Y’ think Patsy and I want to camp in tents? Y’ think we want to hike up hills? No of course not, most of the ladies here come because they want a little fun. They want to flirt and be romanced by a pilot who we might never see again.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened, “Really?”

“Really,” Patsy nodded. 

Molly brushed past her and walked to her tent to pull out something from her bag, “Y’ lucky I’m an overpacker.” She unfolded the material and held up a red, polka dot swimsuit with a sweetheart neckline and a scoop back. 

“I can’t wear that!” Y/N almost gasped, she couldn’t help but look around to see if anyone saw.

Molly rolled her eyes, “You don’t think we’ve all seen you with Harry? He’s head over heels for you! Put this on and I guarantee you’ll be thanking yourself for forgetting that tent.” 

Y/N hesitated, her cheeks flushing with a mixture of embarrassment and excitement. The thought of Harry's reaction to seeing her in such a swimsuit sent a flutter of anticipation through her stomach. With a playful roll of her eyes, she took the swimsuit from Molly's outstretched hand. "Fine, but only because you're relentless."

Harry was already by the lake with his brothers and some of the other pilots working on Offutt. He was lying on a towel with his sunglasses on and swimming trunks hanging on his hips, smoking a cigarette. “Oh shit, I didn’t know Nancy was coming on this trip,” George said, taking a swig of his glass bottled beer as he sat down. Nancy was sitting with a group of friends, lounging on the dock, “She sure is something in that swimsuit, H. Would y’ look at her- pure sunlight she is.” 

Harry chuckled, “Yeah, sunlight, sure. Think you’ve had one too many of those beers George. Why don’t y’ go over and talk to her?”

“Are you kidding me? She spews venom every time I try to talk to her.” George says, “And she likes you more anyway. I don’t know why though, everybody knows you’re with Y/N.”

Harry’s ears perk at the mention of her name, “What are you talking about? We’re not together.”

“Uhuh, keep talking and your nose will get bigger than it already is,” 

Harry sits up to lightly hit his brother but he pauses when he sees his mouth drop open, “What are you staring at?” Harry turns around, following George’s gaze.

That's when he notices Molly and Patsy approaching, both clad in their swimsuits. Yet, it's not them who have captured the attention of not only George but seemingly everyone else as well. Y/N walks in between them in a swimsuit that reveals the soft skin of her thighs and the curve of her breasts from the low neckline. Her hair is pinned up and tied with a red ribbon, her smile so bright it overtook the light from the sun.

Harry felt a rush of breathlessness as he removed his sunglasses, unable to tear his gaze away from Y/N. "Have mercy," he muttered to himself, rising from the ground and striding over to the girls, with Sonny and George trailing behind him. 

The girls laid their towels out on the ground as the boys were walking over, “Looking swell Patsy,” Sonny’s eyes were fixed on her cleavage.

“My eyes are up here Sonny,” Patsy spoke, monotonously. 

Harry ignored everyone else as he stepped in front of Y/N. Her eyelashes fluttered as she looked up at him. He felt his cock stir in his swim shorts as she licked her bottom lip, sending a jolt of heat through him. Harry knew he needed to get a grip on himself before things got out of hand. 

He glanced around and noticed eyes staring at the girl in front of him, “Hi Birdy,” 

Y/N tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “H-Hi Harry,” She stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Are you saving this swimsuit for someone or?” He smirked, wanting to get a rise out of her. He liked seeing her cheeks turn red whenever he attempted to flirt with her. 

“M-Molly and Patsy wanted me to wear it. I wasn’t sure at first but they thought it looked good. I feel like it’s a little too much, what do you think? Do you think it’s too much?” Harry’s eyes softened as she rambled nervously to him. 

Sensing her self-consciousness, he put her at ease by saying, “Y’ look beautiful Y/N,” 

She took a deep breath, “Are you sure?”

“Never been more sure about anything in my life,” He murmured, reaching his hand out to hold her own. Y/N offers a shy smile. 

“I don’t know about you all but I’m just about melting from how hot it is. Are any of you going in the water?” Molly asked, receiving a nodding of heads in response. 

“What do y’ say we go for a swim huh?” He smirks. 

Y/N suddenly gets all embarrassed again, “H-Harry, I need to tell you something,”

“What’s wrong?” He was immediately concerned. 

“The thing is, I don’t know how to swim all that well.” She confessed, “We don’t have anything like this back home so I never really got the chance to learn.”

Harry snickered, “How’s about I teach y’ hmm?” 

She purses her lips and then nods, “Okay Harry.” 

They walk hand in hand to the dock. Harry notices Nancy’s glare as they walk past her and gives Y/N’s hand a small squeeze in assurance. He’s first to jump in the water, submerging underneath and swimming up to the surface. 

Y/N stood on the edge of the dock with her toes hanging over the edge, “Oh I’m not so sure about this Harry,” She said, uncertain as she realised how deep the water was. 

“It’s alright darling, I’m right here,” He holds his arms out, ready for her to leap right into them, “I’ll catch you before your head even goes underwater, wouldn’t want to ruin that pretty hair now would I?”

“No,” She says and he knows she wasn’t paying attention to anything he was saying, too busy worrying about jumping in.

“M right here Y/N, you can do it. Get in the water darling, c’mon.” He coaxes her and thinks she’s about to do it but she hesitates. 

“I can’t! I really can’t Harry.” Y/N shakes her head. 

“C’mon Y/N, you can do it!” Molly and Patsy cheer for her, already swimming in the lake with Elise in their arms. 

“Alright Birdy, on the count of three,” Harry’s smiling even though he knows it’s hard for her. “One…”

“I can’t!” She bends her knees slightly. 

“Two…” He shouts, people clapping and cheering now. 

“Harry seriously!” She giggles, her eyes squeezing shut. 

“Three!” 

“I can’t do it,”

“Birdy get in the water!” He yells and then laughs because she’s laughing too at her own silliness, “I’m sorry daring, will you please get in the water.”

Y/N closes her eyes, bends her legs and screams, using one foot to leap into the water. Harry’s already there waiting to catch her and drag her up. It’s almost instinctive as he grabs her hips and feels her legs wrap around his waist beneath the water. Her head emerged and she quickly wrapped both her arms around his neck. “That’s m’ girl,” He cheered, everyone joining in as Y/N emerged with a smile. 

“It’s cold,” She laughed, water coming out her nose. 

“It’s not so bad,” Their faces were close, if he moved any closer he’d almost be kissing her. 

“Are you gonna teach me how to swim now?” Y/N asked, her teeth biting her bottom lip. 

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged, grinning, “I kinda like having y’ like this.”

Y/N splashed him with water, “What if I drown?”

“I won’t let you,” He said as though it were a matter of fact.

Y/N rolled her eyes, “But what if I’m eighty and you can’t swim anymore but I wanna swim instead.”

He knew she was being silly but he liked the fact that she considered him to be a part of her life for that long. A spark of hope flashed within him, “I’ll probably just swim with y’ anyway. I mean it would be a sight to see Birdy but wherever you go I go.”

Y/N huffed, “Fine if you won’t teach me to swim, you’ll just have to carry me around in the water.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Harry joked, “Where to first Birdy?”

She pointed to her two friends who were keeping Elise entertained in the water and Harry grinned, understanding her silent request. With a playful twinkle in his eye, he scooped Y/N up into his arms and waded into the water towards Molly and Patsy, Elise's delighted squeals echoing around them.

As the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a warm glow over the lake, they reluctantly made their way back to shore after spending the whole afternoon swimming. As it was the last night, people had been preparing for a bonfire - a tradition created to commemorate the end of the trip. Sonny and George were already sitting with Nancy’s group of friends as they waited for the bonfire to be lit, the other’s going to join them. 

Elise was napping in Patsy’s arms as they sat together, wrapped in towels and talking. Harry pulled Y/N down to sit next to him on one of the logs, pulling her into his side. He noticed she was shivering as the air turned cooler and silently reached for the sweatshirt he had brought with him to pull over her head. She thanked him quietly in return. 

Eventually, the evening air was filled with the scent of woodsmoke and the sound of laughter as they settled in for a cosy night by the fire. Someone pulled out a guitar, and soon the sound of music filled the air, blending with the sounds of voices and the crackling of the flames. 

Harry excused himself from Y/N's side for a moment to join his brothers and friends for a smoke. Despite the distance, he couldn't help but steal glances at her now and then, his heart warming at the sight of her. Each time she took over from Patsy in looking after Elise as she slept, a sense of peace settled within him.

It had always worried Harry that Elise wouldn’t have another woman in her life to provide the things she needed that Harry and his brothers knew nothing about. There was something profoundly comforting about seeing Y/N with his baby sister. It wasn't just the way she cradled Elise with such care, or the gentle sway of her movements as she rocked the sleeping girl. It was the way Elise seemed to instinctively trust her, snuggling closer to Y/N as if she sensed the warmth and safety she provided.

Harry turned his back on her momentarily to extinguish his cigarette in the dirt. But when he faced his friend again, his attention was drawn to someone approaching the girls. It was a man he recognized, someone Nancy and her friends had been conversing with for most of the day. He observed as Y/N smiled, but he could sense her discomfort as she subtly retreated while he continuously tried to get closer to her.

Harry began to slowly walk towards them until he could make sense of some of what the stranger was saying. The closer he got, the clearer it became that the man's words were laced with suggestive undertones, and Harry's protective instincts surged to the forefront. 

As he approached, he caught Y/N's eye, and he could see the silent plea for help in her gaze. “Hey fella, I think you’ve had enough,” Harry said, his tone firm as he confronted the guy. 

The thug sneered at Harry, clearly not appreciating the interference. "Mind your own business, pretty boy. The lady seems to be enjoying my company just fine," he retorted, a smug grin on his face.

Harry’s jaw clenched, “I don’t wanna have to ask y’ again to leave her alone.” He warned, his voice laced with a steely edge.

The man stood up and Harry tried to keep calm when he saw the frightened look in Y/N’s eyes. He wasn’t going to fight in front of her and he wasn’t going to wake his sister who was now in Molly’s arms. Although Molly, as though sensing there was going to be a fight, backed away and bought Elise somewhere away from the campfire. 

Harry looked behind the man who was a few inches shorter than him, “Was he bothering y’ birdy?” He pointed at the thug who was trying to intimidate her.

“H-Harry-” Y/N stood and tried to reach for him but he held up a hand to stop her. 

People were watching, the noise had quietened down as a thick tension fell over the camp, “I just wanted to talk to the pretty bitch over here. You know she was asking for it the way she was wearing that swimsuit all day.” The sick thug chuckled. 

“You think that’s funny huh?” Harry faked a smile, stepping forward until he was right up close to the man, “Y’ know, my old man told me that when a guy makes comments like that to a young lady, it means something.” 

“Oh yeah? What does it mean?” The thug spoke, as though he was in on some kind of joke Harry was making. 

Harry’s jaw tightened as he muttered, “Their cock’s too small to find.” With a swift movement, he clenched his fist and swung, the impact landing squarely on the man's jaw. The thug stumbled back, stunned by the force of the blow, and Harry wasted no time in delivering another punch, sending him sprawling to the ground.

“Harry!” Y/N gasped as Patsy screamed in shock. 

People gathered around to watch as the two men delivered punch after punch at each other. Y/N’s eyes welled with tears as she watched Harry get hit repeatedly, his entire face covered in blood. 

“George!” Y/N ran over to him, “Y’ gotta stop it,”

“What am I meant to do? That guy’s huge!” George exclaimed although he also looked worried for his older brother. 

“Please,” Y/N begged, “He’ll kill him.”

George hesitated for a moment, torn between the instinct to protect his brother and the fear of intervening in the dangerous fight. But the sight of Harry, bloodied and battered, spurred him into action.

"Sonny, help me!" George called out to his younger brother, who immediately rushed to his side. Together, they managed to pull Harry off of the thug he was punching, their combined strength enough to separate Harry from him.

Breathing heavily, Harry glared at the man lying on the ground, spitting out blood from his mouth as he did, before turning to face Y/N. Despite the pain etched on his face, his eyes softened as he reached out to her. "I'm okay," he assured her, his voice hoarse.

“Y-you’re hurt,” She was in shock, unable to believe this was real and not just some nightmare she was having. 

“I’m okay baby,” He heaved, spitting out more blood onto the floor. 

Before the man could get up and try to hit him again, Sonny, George and Y/N led Harry away from the bonfire. Y/N's heart ached at the sight of Harry's injuries, her hands trembling as she gently touched his bruised cheek. "We need to get you cleaned up," she murmured, one of his eyes already beginning to swell. 

They managed to lead Harry away from the chaos of the campfire, guiding him towards their tents where they could tend to his injuries in privacy and ignoring the gossip that was whispered amongst everybody. Y/N caught sight of Nancy who stood up and looked over at Harry with concern etched on her features. 

“Put him down here,” Y/N pointed to one of the logs for him to sit on and ran to grab a first aid kit she had packed in her backpack as a precaution and a wet cloth to wipe his face with. Harry groaned at the impact, hunching forward and clutching his ribs in pain. 

Y/N knelt in between his legs in front of him and opened up the kit, “You two should head on back, make the most of the rest of the night,” She told them as she placed the wet cloth to remove the blood from Harry’s face. 

“Are you sure Y/N?” Sonny scratched the back of his neck, “We can help if you want.”

“And do what? All I’m gonna do is fix his wounds and then go to bed. I don’t want you two to miss out and ruin the rest of the trip.” It was only ten thirty so there was still plenty of time to spend at the bonfire. “The girls are leaving Elise with one of the families and I’ll pick her up in the morning. Everything is fine, you two go and have fun.”

Harry hissed as she applied disinfectant to his cuts, “Well alright,” George said, still unsure, “But you’ll come get us if something goes wrong?” 

Y/N nodded, trying her best to smile, “I promise I’ll come get you.”

They soon left and Y/N was left alone with Harry writhing in pain, “I’m sorry Y/N.” His voice came out a whisper.

Y/N’s jaw clenched, “That was silly, y’ could have easily diffused the situation without delivering the first punch.”

“He was asking for it and I won’t allow anyone to talk to y’ that way. I saw how scared you looked when he was talking to you. God Y/N,” Harry exhaled heavily through his nose, “I think I saw red - I’ve never been so angry before.” 

Y/N sighed, “I know you were just trying to look out for me but you frightened me and I-”

“I did?” His voice sounded hurt, taking Y/N aback.

“A-A little,” She admitted, “I thought you were gonna die.”

“I can’t die, you know that,” He tried to crack a smile but his face hurt too much, “I never want to scare you, you know that right?” 

Y/N said nothing, “Hey,” He cupped her face in his hand, “I never want to scare you, ever.” 

“I know,” She shrugged him off, “Just don’t ever do that again.” 

Harry looked at her with a furrowed brow, unsure what to think of how she was feeling, “Alright,” His shoulders dropped, “I won’t.” 

Harry thought better than to interrupt her as she tended to the cuts and bruises on his face and hands. His eyes stayed fixated on her as she focused on fixing him up. He was pretty sure his pupils had carved themselves into hearts with how much adoration he had whilst looking at her. Her hair was wavy and tangled from swimming in the river, she had caught the sun a little so her face was tinged red and she was wearing his sweatshirt that was much too big for her small form. 

“I think that’s as good as it gets,” She whispered, eyes darting across his face. 

As she was about to pull away, Harry tugged on the sleeve of her sweater. Y/N looked down as he curled his fingers around her wrist and rubbed the pad of his thumb over her pulse point, “Thank you,” He murmured, doing his best to look at her despite his black eye. 

Y/N helped Harry into the tent, trying to make it easy for him to lay down comfortably without feeling any pain from where he had taken a few hits on his torso. She crawled in beside him and lay on her side to look at him, “Do you need anything?” She kept her voice quiet. 

Harry shook his head, “Just you here is fine.” 

Y/N swallowed, “I’ll stay here until you fall asleep.” 

A silence fell over them, the tension felt palpable now that they were alone together. There was so much that needed to be said hanging in the space between them - things that had been brushed off or put to one side all so they could build trust. But perhaps as their trust in each other grew, they began to question their own judgement and feel uncertain about themselves. 

“Y/N,” Harry whispered, breaking the silence. He rarely said her name now, often replacing it with the nickname he had given her, so hearing it from his lips sounded sweet like a term of endearment. 

“H-Harry,” She said back, unsure of what he was going to say.

“My old man used to hurt me and m’ family a lot,” He started, Y/N’s heart hurting for the man in front of her and his younger siblings, “When I grew older, I started t’ fight him back and I got so good at it. Not that that’s something to brag about but… I-I guess when I see the people I love, like my Mama and my brothers and Elise, in pain, I just get so angry. I-it’s like I see red every time and all I can think about is how much I want to hurt the cause of their pain.”

Y/N stayed quiet, allowing him time and space for his moment of vulnerability, “But I don’t think I’ve ever been as angry as I had been tonight. It’s like I saw you flinch and I swore I could have killed him.”

“Harry,” Y/N gasped, wanting to reach out for him. 

Harry turned over, wincing at the pain but needing to look at her as he spoke, “I ain’t stopped thinking about that kiss since it happened. When I sleep rough, I picture it to help me get back to sleep. Y’ seem to settle something in me that no one else can and… I don’t know what to do about it.” 

Y/N’s heart thundered against her chest like it was trying to leap out, “Watching y’ with my family, being with y’ every day - it is the one good thing in my life. You are the one good thing in my life, the only thing that is wholly and completely mine. I don’t know how to quit y’ Birdy, I’ve been trying because I thought y’ wanted to do this whole friends thing for a little longer but I think about you when I sleep, when I eat, when I’m a hundred feet in the air - Hell, I even think about you when I’m holding Elise, imagining you being there and holding her and how much I want that with you.”

Y/N felt her eyes burn with tears, “Y-you do?” She said her voice barely above a whisper. 

“I do darling,” He shuffles forward and reaches a hand out for hers under the blanket.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you either.” Y/N confesses, feeling the weight on her chest ease with each word she spoke, “I don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about you since the moment I saw you.” 

“You haven’t?” Harry questioned like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I haven’t,” Y/N affirmed, “Somehow it seems you’ve set up camp somewhere in there,” She placed a hand over his heart, “‘S a little annoying really,” She giggled. 

Harry grinned, his head moving closer to hers. Y/N’s smile fell when she felt his breath blow across her face. Her eyes darted down to his lips, “Are we going to kiss again?” She asked. 

“Do y’ want to kiss again?” He murmured, his lips feathering across hers. 

“I do, so badly, I do.” She was almost begging. 

“Well alright then,” His voice husky with desire. With that, he closed the remaining distance between them, capturing her lips with his. 

The kiss ignited something within them both. Months of longing and watching from afar, releasing into this moment.  Harry's lips moved with an urgency as Y/N sighed deeply in relief,  their mouths melding together. His hands found their way to her waist, pulling her closer as if to bridge any remaining space between them.

Y/N responded eagerly, her fingers tangling in Harry's hair as she deepened the kiss, her heart racing with every beat. The world around them faded into insignificance as if they were the only two people remaining in the world and they were all each other had. 

Y/N’s hand went under his shirt, feeling his warm body beneath her fingertips as she slid them up his torso. Harry gripped her hips hard enough to move her on top of him. Her bare legs were between his and he remembered she was still wearing her swimsuit beneath her sweatshirt.  “Harry,” She whispered, breathless. She was tugging on the hem of his shirt, silently begging him to take it off.

He shot up and she pulled his shirt over his head. Y/N marvelled at his muscular, tattooed body, she’d seen it plenty of times before but she could never seem to get over how perfectly built he was. Harry was eager to kiss her again, but Y/N hesitated. Her fingers went to the hem of her sweatshirt, and she pulled it over her head. Then, she did something that left Harry breathless.

She pulled the straps of her swimsuit down, leaving her upper body completely bare. Harry had never seen something so ethereal. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, the ends falling at her supple, rounded breasts, her nipples hardened from the cold air. Harry felt his cock stir in his shorts and he was pretty sure Y/N knew what was happening from the way her pupils dilated and her lips parted. 

“We don’t have to...” Harry wasn’t sure where this night was going to go but Y/N stopped him.

“I want to,” She whispered, “I want you.”

“Y/N,” He murmured, unable to believe this wasn’t all a dream. 

“Shhh,” She shushed him and pressed her lips against his again. She looped her arms around his neck and pressed their bodies together. 

Harry tossed the blanket to one side with his lips still attached to her. He pressed kisses down her neck, sucking and biting on her skin leaving a mark that would tell him in the morning that this was all real. Y/N could feel the bulge in his boxers beneath her as she straddled his lap. She rolled her hips against him, Harry groaning against her lips in response. 

Y/N gasped when Harry thrust his clothed cock against her core. She could feel the dampening of her swimsuit as her pussy grew wet the harder he ground against her, “Harry,” She breathed, his lips ghosting against her jawline, “I want you to put it in me,” She said, her desire overruling everything.

“Yeah?” His voice came out raspy, “Y want my cock in your pussy darling girl?” He looked up at her with hooded eyes.

Y/N immediately nodded, desperate to feel him inside of her, “Take me out then baby,” He ordered.

Y/N swallowed and tugged on the waistband of his shorts, her fingers fumbling to pull him out. Her eyes widened when she saw the outline of his cock against the fabric. She reached into his shorts and felt his cock beneath her hand, wrapping her fingers around it only to realise how big he was as she pumped her hand up and down. Harry clenched his jaw, his head falling back as he released a moan. 

“Gonna take off the rest of that swimsuit baby?” Harry murmured, playing with the nylon fabric. Y/N nodded and lifted her hips, allowing him to tug the swimsuit off of her body. Harry’s mouth fell open as her wetness touched his thighs. “Look at tha’ making a mess all over me hmm?” He tutted, his eyes looking down at her bare, pretty pussy. “So pretty, the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

“I need you so bad Harry,” Y/N mewled, her head dropping forward onto his shoulder as she went back to pumping his cock. He ran his hand up and down her back, soothing her. 

“I know baby, I know.” He cooed.

He helped her a little by pulling his shorts down from his hips. He almost died when he saw how much bigger his cock looked in her smaller hand, “Will it fit?” Y/N asked, eyes looking up at him big and round. 

Harry glanced at her pussy, “Dunno baby, y’ pussy’s so small,” He sighed, “Might hurt y’”

“But it’ll fit, I know it will,” She insisted because if he refused she’d probably pass out. 

“Oh yeah?” He looked at her with a cocky grin, “Look at you, you’re so desperate for it.” He reached out to wipe the drool from the corner of her mouth as she looked at his aching length.

His lips went to her ear, feeling her shiver beneath his touch as he breathed, “Show me.”

“What?” Her mouth fell open. 

“Show me how it fits in y’ baby,” He muttered. 

Y/N swallowed and nodded, exhaling shakily. She sat up on her knees, lifting her hips and shifting herself so her pussy was directly above Harry’s cock. Harry waited patiently, moving his hands to her hips and giving them a soft squeeze in encouragement. She grabbed the base of his cock in her hand and lowered her hips until she felt the tip nudge against her hole. She gasped when she lowered her hips a little further and the thick crown of his cock squeezed through the opening of her core.

“There y’ go,” He inhaled, “Tha’s my girl.” Y/N nodded, unable to think as his cock stretched her open inch by inch in the most delicious way, squeezing and pulsing against the walls of her pussy the further it entered her.

“‘S it all the way in yet?” She whimpered, her eyes squeezed shut.

Harry looked down and groaned when he saw half of his cock submerged in her tight pussy, “Almost baby,” 

“Okay,” She mewled, sinking further onto his cock until he was so deep inside of her. She whined, her head dropping forward when she felt the tip of his cock nudge the walls of her cervix and his balls pressed against her ass. 

“Fuck baby,” Harry moaned, pressing a longing kiss to the top of her head.

“Y so deep,” Y/N’s words came out slurred. She rested her head against his chest for a moment, getting used to the feeling of his cock inside of her. “M ready now,” She whispered.

“Yeah? Y’ sure?” He wanted to make sure she was okay and that she was in complete control of the situation.

Y/N didn’t say anything. Instead, she lifted herself up and then sank back down on his cock, feeling it rub against the walls of her sopping, wet cunt as she did. She repeated the action, her head falling backwards, back arching; she had to grip Harry’s calves to keep her from falling back. She was seeing stars every time she bounced on his cock, “It feels so good Harry,” She whimpered.

Harry grabbed her waist, helping her move up and down on his cock, “I know it does baby,” He moaned, “Does it feel good knowing ‘m so deep? Only I can touch y’ that deep baby, fuck,” He drawled. 

Y/N pushed herself up and removed her hands from his calves to his shoulders, using them as an aid to help her move up and down. Harry moved his head forward and wrapped his lips around her nipple, sucking and biting. He pressed spongy kisses down the center of her breasts, “Can y’ feel me right here darling girl?” He whispered, pressing his hand to her belly where his cock protruded every time she sank back down on him.

“Please Harry,” She whined, unsure exactly what she was asking for but so consumed by the intense pleasure she was feeling. 

“Please what?” His lips ghosted against her jawline, sweat coated their skin from how warm the tent was. He tugged on the ends of Y/N’s hair, “Y’ want me t’ put a baby in y’ is that what you're asking?” Y/N groaned, lips parting as the air left her lungs. “Oh you like that, don’t you? Can feel you clenching round m’ cock baby. Darling girl wants me to put a baby in her?” 

Harry thrust his hips harder into her when he received no reply, “Want me to fill you up and put a baby in you hmmm? Do y’ like the idea of having my baby inside of you? Making y’ belly all round and swollen and having everyone at Offutt knowing that baby inside of you is all mine.”

“Y-Yes Harry,” She gasped.

“Yeah? Y’ wanna make me a daddy baby? Be m’ perfect mama waiting on me with your perfect pregnant belly?”

“Mhm,” Y/N choked, his words making her heart pound. Her eyes began to water, feeling overwhelmed with how good she felt.

“Do you want me to cum inside of you?” He kisses her chin, “Know y’ ready to cum baby. Y’done so well.” He moves his hand in between them and starts to rub circles on her clit. Y/N’s gasping for breath, whining and writhing on top of him. 

“Harry, Harry, Harry,” She says over and over again like some sacred prayer, a stray tear falling from her eye.

“I know baby, I know you’re tired and ready to cum.” His lips puckering to leave a kiss where the salty tear once was on the side of her cheek. He could feel the burning in his belly as his orgasm began to build. He would have cum ages ago if he wasn’t so set on cumming with her. He could feel her cunt tighten around his cock, squeezing him harder. “Cum with me darling.” He murmured.

Y/N felt the coil in her belly burst as she clenched around his cock as she came. Harry’s quiet moans filled the tent as his cum painted the walls of her insides. He makes sure his whole cock is all the way in her even though he knows it won’t do anything, the thought of filling her up with his seed makes him cum even harder. 

Y/N collapses into his chest, her head falling on his shoulder. Her eyes flutter shut and her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath from the intensity of her release. She feels Harry’s heart thumping hard against his chest, his hand smoothing up and down her back as he lays his forehead on her shoulder. 

Y/N whimpers when Harry moves and shakes her head, “Can we stay like this for a little longer?” She asks, tiredly.

Harry kisses her shoulder, “For as long as y’ want.” 

“Thank you,” She murmurs, feeling as though she could fall asleep exactly like this. His cock was still inside of her, she could feel the stickiness of his cum dripping on her thighs, but it felt so good to be so full of him. 

“C’mon darling girl,” Harry kissed her cheek, “Time to sleep.” 

Y/N shuddered when Harry removed his cock, her pussy pulsing around nothing whilst she felt his cum gush out of her. Harry brought his fingers to her thighs and began to push his cum back into her sensitive cunt. Y/N inhaled deeply, shuddering as she felt his fingers stuffing her empty hole with his cum. 

He gently laid her down beside him, her body placid. He grabbed the blanket and laid it across her body to stop her from getting cold, “Your bruises,” Y/N whispered, cupping his cheek in her hand and brushing her thumb over the bruise on his eye.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” He told her, he’d completely forgotten he was even in pain after she admitted his feelings for her. 

“Promise?” She whispered. 

“I promise,” He kissed the tip of her nose and then laid down next to her, wrapping her in his arms. She hooked her leg around his waist and nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck. “I love you Y/N.” He whispered. 

Y/N smiled, he could feel her lips curving against him, “I love you too Harry.” 

Y/N woke up the next morning with a smile on her face. Memories of last night flashing through her mind like each individual scene from a movie reel. Her whole body was filled with warmth, her core aching from the acts she had partaken in just last night. 

She turned over, expecting to see Harry still asleep beside her only to find an empty space. With a frown, she sat up and ran her fingers through her knotted hair, searching for her underwear and the sweater she had borrowed from him yesterday to cover herself up. 

She crawled out of the tent and glanced around, trying to find the man she had confessed her feelings to. She hoped he was somewhere smoking a cigarette or maybe decided to go for a swim before they had to make the hike back to the Air Base later on. 

Y/N stood on shaky legs and wrapped her arms around herself. She caught sight of Sonny and Patsy walking over with a bucket of fresh water. Y/N waved and tried her best to smile at them even though the feeling of dread began to swarm in the pit of her stomach. Sonny’s head turned in her direction and his expression faltered , “Hey guys,” Y/N said, her voice slightly raspy, “H-Have any of you seen Harry this morning?”

The uneasy silence that followed, punctuated by the grim expressions on Sonny and Patsy's faces, already made Y/N regret ever asking the question in the first place.

p.s y/n is on birth control just wanna make that clear heh

taglist: @ribbonknives @scorpiotulipicon @hermionelove @champagnepronlemsxxxx @n0vaj3an @roxyfan14-blog @avasbeanie @idontcareforausernamesblog @tpwksummer  @celesterry @love-letters-to-uranus @boredhsblog @tpwk-harry-styles @groupieloveclub @estaticheart @unknownkii @royaler1999 @lovebittenbyevans

[maokomi]

⠀「 “Dress slutty babe, I can fight,” but can they really? *ೃ༄ 」 

ᥫ᭡ Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

.ೃ࿔*:･「𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬.」 modern au, gn reader, established relationship crack ?? This shit aint serious so don’t treat it like it is lmfao

.ೃ࿔*:･「𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠.」 Xiao, Kazuha, Zhongli, Kaeya, Kaveh, Cyno

Wrote this drunk, no editing, no looking back at my regrets last night. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 

⠀「 XIAO*ೃ༄ 」

YOU BET UR ASS THIS MAN CAN FIGHT

Tells u to dress slutty with his whole chest !!!

Wear whatever you want to feel good about yourself and to feel comfortable. That’s all that Xiao cares abt tbh. 

If he sees anyone leering at you in your hot outfit though? His munchkin ass is on them in a heartbeat.

Doesn’t matter who. Doesn’t matter how tall they are. He’ll bark up at them like a chihuahua. Scale them like a fuckin rabid cat or smthn.

Xiao said he can fight and he will !!!!!

⠀「 KAZUHA*ೃ༄ 」

Compliments you in your sluttiest outfit !! Hell, mans helps you pick it out!! 

CAN FIGHT Can !! Beat !! Ass !!

Except he chooses not to 😌 because he is a lover💞💕 not 🙅‍♂️🚫 a fighter ☮️🕊✌️😌

But he makes it very very very clear to anyone and everyone who so much glances in ur general direction that !! HELLO HE IS UR MAN

Holds ur hand. Keeps an arm around your middle. Plays with ur hair. The whole shebang baby

But if someone grows the gonads to actually approach you while Kazuha is so blatantly flirting with u right then and there ?? 

Kazuha doesn’t even have to get up.

He fucking ROASTS the motherfucker alive. All cool and suave. Keeps his voice level while he tells the newcomer all the reasons why their parents are disappointed in them.

Kazuha fucking cooks them bro I dont know what to tell u Rest In Peace to that dumbass I guess

⠀「 ZHONGLI*ೃ༄ 」

Bold of anyone to think they can steal u from a man who walks in with this much rizz 🤨

Zhongli wears a whole ass custom Valentino suit & shoes to go to a club no way in hell is anyone gonna try to chat u up baby doesn’t matter how slutty u dress

Esp when ?? Ur slutty outfit matches Zhongli’s fit ? Absolute power couple I rest my case

Sugar daddy Zhongli supremacy I said what I said

I restate my point: No one is gonna think they have a chance against Zhongli. They’re all scared they’ll get murked on their way home if they so much as try. 

Kinda soft but they fr dont even have a chance bc Zhongli just has to compliment u and u light up like an actual Christmas tree, you get so goddamn happy that anyone even trying to fight him is already fighting a losing battle.

⠀「 KAEYA*ೃ༄ 」

Baby, bold of u to assume that Kaeya’s not gonna be dressed sluttier than u 🤨

Hate to break it to you buttercup but Kaeya’s not gonna be the one royal rumbling tonight— nu uh, that’s you.

Have you seen the titty window this man rocks? 

Skip the accessories whenever you go out Kaeya, because you are going to beat some ass, and earrings and necklaces only get in the way 💕

It’s tiring having to keep everyone’s eyes off of ur boyfriend but it’s okay because whenever you go to the bar for a quick time out, Kaeya always has a kiss and a drink ready for u before u go back to fucking people up <3

⠀「 KAVEH*ೃ༄ 」

I love him but you’re on your own honey

Claims that he’ll kick ass— that you can wear whateverrr you want, that you look so hot, that you look amazing and that he’ll fight anyone who comes near u

Hypes you up and hollers and makes u feel like a million bucks because he’s a good, supportive bf

But in the midst of it all you forget he’s some broke ass architect who probably hasn’t taken a solid punch in his life

When someone approaches u he puffs up his chest and stands in front of u with his most intense bitch face, says smthn that he thinks tough guys says like, ‘you wanna fight? Let’s fight.’ Or some cheesy shit like that

The moment the other dude swings tho its over 💀 Kaveh yells and has to hide behind you 

It’s okay tho because he’s cute <3 (even if he’s broke)

Hope you didn’t wear anything breakable baby bc youre the one who’s gotta fight for urself

⠀「 CYNO*ೃ༄ 」

Doesn’t even have to fight bro.

Doesn’t matter how slutty you dress— you could walk into a bar with just the bare minimum on and no one would look your way.

Not because you’re unattractive, because that is far from the truth.

No— it’s because of Cyno’s arm wrapped around your shoulder and the absolute death stare he gives anyone who looks your way with even a hint of lechery in their gaze.

Crazy shit, I tell you. Motherfucker’s eyes look like he’ll pounce on anyone who so much as wolf whistles your way. No one wants to get fucked up by a dude who looks like he’ll go blue eyes white dragon on their ass.

[geoviki]

Mo Guan Shan’s Big Feelings

Mo Guan Shan, resident tsundere of 19 Days, pretends to be tough and hard-hearted.  But he’s easily and frequently reduced to tears, as we soon realize.  In fact, he cries so often in the story that this post is pretty massive.

MGS cries as a child, of course.  He’s in a clinic in his mom’s arms when She Li first becomes obsessed with him (ch 294).

MGS has a bad dream about the day his dad told little Guan Shan he couldn’t come to the school’s robot fair (ch 392).

MGS cries in other dreams too.  Soon after meeting He Tian, he has a sensual dream of being comforted in He Tian’s arms after being bullied.  Look closely – there are little tears falling as He Tian assures him he’s the “most invincible badass.” (ch 250)

True to form, he cries in the Santa fantasy extra when his house is destroyed (ch 345).

MGS cries when he’s frustrated, like in this episode after the play when he can’t untie himself to pee (ch 359).

MGS is a weepy drunk as well.  After accidentally destroying Brother Qiu’s bike (ch 427), he drunkenly sobs in bed as he vows to somehow repay him. 

Later, while MGS is still drunk, He Tian slips and falls while carrying him, ripping Mo’s pants in front of He Cheng (ch 429).  MGS cries from embarrassment.

Unsurprisingly, MGS cries over his dad.  After He Tian unknowingly brings him to dinner at what is probably his father’s former restaurant, we see a young MGS in flashback crying in fear at the chaos around him.  Present-day MGS flees and He Tian finds him crying in the parking lot (ch 217)

One of the more moving chapters shows MGS breaking down as he visits his father in prison for the first time (ch 240).

MGS cries from sheer anger in several chapters.  The earliest is when He Tian forces an unwanted kiss on him as a misplayed joke (ch 174-175).  He Tian is taken aback by Mo’s strong, tearful reaction.  It’s probably the first time someone doesn’t try to placate He Tian when he’s being a jerk, and he begins to take MGS more seriously after this.

MGS tries to end his friendship with He Tian after the school play that indirectly causes him to lose his meager job.  He Tian doesn’t help matters by waving money at him as they quarrel.  MGS weeps with anger and says, “Standing with you makes me feel like a failure.”  (ch 364)

He cries in anger once more as he watches incredulously as She Li incinerates his backpack (ch 368).  (She Li seems to walk around carrying gasoline like it’s no big deal – what’s up with that?)

MGS cries when he’s worried.  When he digs frantically through the mudslide during their ill-fated mountain hike, he thinks He Tian has been buried alive.  When He Tian calls out, MGS throws his teary self into He Tian’s arms (ch 329).

MGS’s worry is clear when the last violent fight with She Li is finally over and He Tian has won (ch 408).  The battle was so fierce that by the end He Tian is crying too, and soon they’re embracing (I sense a pattern here!)

MGS often cries when his emotions overwhelm him.  Early on, after MGS is rescued from the fiasco of agreeing to take the blame for a serious crime, He Tian tells him, “Don’t try to shoulder everything yourself.” (ch 188).  MGS tears up at the thought that someone like He Tian has his back.

MGS ends up full-on sobbing in He Tian’s arms (again) when he finally admits why She Li has a hold over him: because of the homeless man who tried to kill him (ch 319).

In one of the most traumatic scenes (and a personal favorite), both guys shed a lot of tears when He Tian finds him after She Li has tortured and burned him (ch 369-370).  These chapters mark a turning point in their relationship from friends to more.

MGS is shown when he’s happy only once, and that memorable event will happen in their future: that Christmas night when He Tian returns and proposes with matching rings (ch 412).  Cue the waterworks!

Thanks to all of the translators who provide the English versions of the story!

[amber-sekio]

Relationship Headcanons

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

TW: none? I think? 

DAZAI 

I said it in my Soukoku fic, Dazai wouldn’t know affection if it slapped him in the face ten times 

Like he might realize when someone is showing interest in a sexual kind 

And he would probably notice if someone is crushing on him 

But like, if he likes them back? 

No 

Man is blind 

He’s too busy panicking over read denying his own thoughts and feelings over you to analyze your actions 

He’s busy trying to think of anything but how pretty you are when he sees you -thank you very much 

No joke though, this can be applied to pretty much anyone he cares about 

I mean he practically had a heart attack when Atsushi gave him flowers 

Anyways if he finally admits to himself that he likes you then I could see him trying to push you away if I’m being brutally honest 

He doesn’t want to lose you and he believes that anything he wants that he obtains, will be striped from him sooner or later 

But…, in a perfect world he would eventually work up the courage to ask you out 

He would probably avoid directly asking you but this is Dazai so he could defiantly figure out some round-about way to ask 

As for the relationship? 

He would still be his teasing self 

But he would tone it down 

Not because he doesn’t want to annoy you but more so because he actually lets some of his masks down when alone with you 

He defiantly is very clingy to you 

Man has been touch starved for a long time and he fears attachment too much to be touchy with the ADA members 

But now he has you, who not only tolerates him but has decided to stay with him? 

Of course he’s not going to let this chance slip from his grasp before all this inevitably ends (he’s still in denial) 

He never cared much for holidays like Christmas or Valentines 

But now he wants to experience them, with you 

He’s always thinking, plans and outcomes racing through his mind, what ifs and regrets  

But like, if you ruffle his hair, his brain just stops. 

Like no thoughts, he short circuits 

When his brain returned to him the first time it happened he panicked 

Like, who gave you that amount of control? 

After that first time he continued to try and get you to do it without asking 

He needed his brain to shut up every now and then, and now he has a reliable source 

Anyways, he likes to be a spoiled princess 

No one can change my mind 

For all his predictions he will never be able to predict your love and kindness for him 

CHUUYA 

Someone give this poor man a hug 

Ugh, my heart 

I can‘t imagine him wanting to date a normal citizen, too much of a risk 

So you’d probably have to work in the Mafia 

Even then, dating you would still be placing a huge target on you 

He would actually take you out on dates before asking you out 

Dates with him would be romantic 

Like dinner by candle light vibes 

He’d be strategic on where you guys sit 

No need to be precarious on what you order, it’s all on him 

When he does ask you out he would be slightly flustered but it just makes him adorable 

Say yes, he doesn’t deserve to be hurt any more 

He would spoil you to no end 

If you want it, you can have it 

You’re the only one allowed to call him short 

He might get flustered from PDA in the start but will gradually warm up to it 

Nothing clingy, just hand holding, a hand around your waist, a quick kiss here or there 

But if he sees some guy hitting on you? 

Down right possessive, arm snug around your waist, shoulder to shoulder 

And if he’s drunk? Even worse 

Like he’s pulling you onto his lap just to make sure that asshole knows your taken 

If you do work in the mafia with him, he likes going on easier missions with you 

And while he knows that you can handle yourself just fine, he can’t help but imagine something bad happening to you when he isn’t there to save you 

He’s lost too many people in his life, please, don’t leave him as well 

He loves when you rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat 

And while you do that he’ll run his fingers through your hair 

Chuuya loves to spoil you rotten as I stated, it’s his love language 

So sometimes he’ll just hand you his black card and let you go shopping with friends or something 

In fact, he encourages you to buy what you want 

FYODOR 

Honestly? Where do I start with him? 

Like congratulations if you meet him and make it out alive 

I don’t know if I should congratulate him taking an interest in you though 

I feel like he believe that the interest he had in you was purely innocent curiosity 

But I also don’t think he would try to delude himself for as long as Dazai does 

Eventually he would notice that something was different about his interest for you than usual 

And while he would hesitate to put a name to it so quickly he would eventually give in after realizing there was no stoping this feeling from festering in him 

After coming to terms with his romantic? Feelings and interest in you he would definitely begin to manipulate you into feeling the same way for him 

If you don’t already that is 

If you don’t confess then he’ll definitely do the same thing Dazai did 

And when you agree, he of course knew you would, he makes you move in with him 

He can’t let his dearest other slip from his finger now can he? 

I feel like before ever getting into a relationship, you would have been made aware of his ‘work’  

Please, make sure the man eats 

And takes his iron pill 

Nikolai is getting a little tired of that daily routine despite how much he loves to be around Fyodor 

Anyways, dates aren’t a very common thing in fact, very, very rare 

I mean… what did you expect? 

Man’s a literal terrorist 

That being said, from time to time he’ll leave his ‘lair’ to spend time with you 

If you ask, he’ll gladly play the cello for you 

If he snaps at you for ‘bothering him with pointless things’ when you bring him his iron pill or food just listen 

Don’t bother him with such things 

And then same thing the next day 

And after some 4 or 5 days he’ll stumble from his room 

Staggering as he tries not to collapse or faint from both his lack of energy and his iron deficiency 

And when he walks into the kitchen trying to get the iron pill bottle open? 

Let him stumble his way over to you and ask for help before you finally do as such 

And he realizes just how dependent on you he’s become 

It’ll happen again eventually 

But as of that moment, it’ll at least be awhile before the cycle repeats 

(That last part of Fyodor’s was based upon some fanfic I read for him. I'm not sure who it was by, but I’ll tag it if and when I do find it.) 

A/N: anyways, believe it or not, I love Chuuya just as much as I do Fyodor and Dazai 

I’m just not as confident in his character. Since I’m a lot like Dazai, he comes easy to me and by substitute, Fyodor does as well 

But Chuuya? Despite him being one of my 5 favorites along with Dazai and Fyodor, I just don’t resonate personally enough with him to write him really well

[joeyalohadream]

https://www.tumblr.com/joeyalohadream/751467390395727872/taking-drabbleprompt-requests

hello! could i request something fluffy with bucky surprising buck for his birthday and buck doesn’t really know how to respond since he never got birthdays as a kid :( thank u!

I'm slowly but surely working my way through me inbox!

Thanks for this prompt anon! I had fun with this one and I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1,109

Bucky hears footsteps from the hall outside their door and looks up from where he was perched on the windowsill just in time to watch Gale swing open their door and shuffle into the room, shower shoes squeaking and his bag of toiletries snug under his arm.

Much to Bucky’s disappointment his towel was being rubbed all over his long hair instead of wrapped around his hips and he was already dressed in loose fitting PT clothes. He knew Gale was modest and it was rare that he left himself exposed outside their room, but he couldn’t help but dream.

“Leave any hot water for the rest of them?” He took in the red tinged skin along Gale’s neck and face. It’s one of Gale’s quirks that he finds charming, showering at the oddest hours to avoid the traffic and give himself the chance of being able to have the water as scalding hot as possible.

“Probably not,” Gale chuckled, looking a little sheepish as he sat on the edge of his bed and finished running the towel through his hair. The result was a total mess, hair skewed in all directions, falling over his forehead in damp waves. The opposite of his usual perfect style and Bucky’s new favorite version of him.

“Well most people are still hungover from last night’s day-after-Christmas celebration so I don’t expect many of them are up for standing long enough to clean up anyway.” Bucky assured him. Their instructors gave them the time between Christmas and New Year’s off from training and most of the young men were using it as an excuse to get and stay drunk.

“That include you?” Gale asked him, eyeing him a little critically but not with any judgement.

“Sure doesn’t,” Bucky said proudly. “I cut myself off at an appropriate time so I could fully enjoy today.”

“That right?” Gale eyed him, a curious glint in his eyes. “And what’s so special about today?”

Bucky leaned forward, hands on his knees and grinned at the younger man.

“It’s your birthday Buck!” he declared dramatically and reveled in the surprise on Gale’s face at his words.

“How could you possibly know that?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and stood up. “It’s literally engraved on your dog tags.”

Gale reached a hand up and pressed his palm to his chest where the metal no doubt rested. He squinted up at him, looking suspicious.

“My dog tags,” he repeated slowly. “That have been hanging around my neck since before I even met you and that I’ve never taken off?”

It’s a very nice neck, and they’re resting on a very nice chest, Bucky thinks.

“Those are the ones,” he grins. “Don’t think to hard on it Buck.” He throws in a wink that has the other man rolling his eyes.

“Well, I don’t really do birthdays, Bucky. So, feel free to let loose again and have an extra whiskey for me with the boys tonight.”

He looks down at Gale and notices that his posture is stiffer than before. He looks defensive and Bucky can’t figure out why. He had a friend back home that had a birthday the day after Christmas and he’d noticed it sometimes got lost between the holidays, always wondered if it made him sad. Wonders now if that’s what happened with Gale when he was a kid.

“Well that’s unfortunate, Buck,” he sighs. “Cause Toby, the guy that owns the bar I dragged you to that one night, his brother owns a ranch not far from town. And he told me that that’s where those Clydesdale horses from the Christmas parade we went to are being housed.”

He can’t help but smile at the way Gale’s head shoots up and his widen slightly.

“And Toby told me that his brother was okay with me bringing my buddy around to see those horses anytime today.”

The look on Gale’s face is one that makes Bucky’s heartbeat faster. He see’s excitement, maybe even hope shining in his eyes, but there’s disbelief there too, like he thinks there’s a chance Bucky is pulling his leg.

“Clydesdales are one of the heaviest breeds of horses,” Gale’s low voice tells him. “But they’re still somehow the most elegant too.”

Bucky grins at him, “I know that, Buck.” Because he’d listened to the other man spout on and on about them at the parade two days ago as they stood shoulder to shoulder in the cold.

“So what do you say?” Bucky prods. “Wanna make an exception to the no-birthday rule and go pet some horses with me?”

Gale gives him another look he can’t quite decipher before he stands up. “You think we’d get to pet them?”

“I already asked, it’s a done deal, Buck.”

The smile that breaks out onto Gale’s face is big and real and genuine and it makes Bucky want to start planning what to get Gale for his birthday next year. Makes him wish he’d gotten him something better than a tin can for his toothpicks for Christmas.

To his surprise and delight, Gale jolts forward and wraps his arms around him. Bucky barely has time to process what’s happening and return the hug before Gale is pulling away, cheeks redder than before and not able to be blamed on the hot water.

“Thanks John,” he says, voice soft. “I can’t remember the last time someone even remembered my birthday.” Bucky’s chest pangs in sympathy at the words. “You’re a good friend.” And Bucky’s chest warms again at those ones.

“Your best friend,” he emphasizes and smiles when Gale rolls his eyes.

“Can we go right now?” Gale asks him, not bothering to hide is excitement anymore. It’s incredibly endearing.

“Soon as you get some proper clothes on and fix that birds nest on your head.” Bucky tells him, reaching out to ruffle his hair and laughs when Gale shoves him gently in retaliation.

He watches as Gale moves to put his other uniform on, movements rushed in his eagerness. Bucky has the sudden thought that making Gale happy might be his new favorite thing and wonders if that should concern him. He quickly decides it doesn’t.

“I’ll meet you outside,” Bucky tells him, knowing Gale prefers privacy to get dressed. When he gets to the door and opens it, he pauses before walking through and turns back to the other man.

“Hey Gale,” he says, getting the other’s attention and smiling at the look of surprise at hearing his name. “Happy birthday.”

The smile he receives in return keeps him warm as he walks out into the winter chill to get them a ride.

[gyllenhaalstories]

ANTHONY SWOFFORD DRABBLE

trope: "who hurt you?"

warnings: army/military, sexual harassment, violence, blood. no smut. 18+ NO MINORS.

word count: 550

photo credit: iheartjake / divider credits: @/firefly-graphics

notes: thank you to @sizzlingcloudmentality for the spin the wheel activity and for encouraging me to post my results as actual little drabbles. 🥰 thank you for reading & REMEMBER TO REBLOG!

I like thinking you guys are strangers, he's seen you around a few times but he doesn't even know your name. You probably work on the base and you're used to getting a flock of starving seagulls whenever you walk around or wait for your food at the cafeteria. And by seagulls, I mean other soldiers and privates and basically all these guys with pent up testosterone just desperate for a glimpse of cleavage. I think it's obvious where I'm going with this.

A party, could be Christmas or New Year who cares. A party happens and everything goes awry. You're not enjoying yourself at all and you're trying to leave but there's this one very insisting guy who just doesn't get the memo. You keep telling him to get away from you, to shut up, to leave you alone or to let you leave at all but he is not budging. The more you tell him to go fuck himself the more riled up and aggressive he's getting. Maybe you insulted him, spat on his face, threw your glass at him, whatever you tried ended up in him grabbing your arm and roughing you up to force himself on you. You manage to run out of the tent where the party is happening and Swoff sees that. He sees that and it makes his blood boil. He can't catch you before you leave, but he makes a plan to find you again.

The next day, he waits for you. You're scared at first but he greets you with: "Who hurt you?". The bruising grip of the drunk guy at the party is showing on your skin and Anthony doesn't want it to get worse. A rough grip is only the beginning.

He's heard about the way the guys talk. They're ruthless. They speak of one another's wives and girlfriends like they're objects they want to pass around. They speak of the women who work on base in such ways that Swoff can't even comprehend how it's so accepted and how people just laugh along. Of course he has made a bunch of salacious jokes before, but he still knows there is a line that should not be crossed.

He insists, he asks you to show him who hurt you. At the second your eyes are done scanning the room and spotting the guy, he stalks him like a hawk until he pulls him outside and makes him regret he even laid eyes on you. Anthony could easily kill him, he won't, but they've all been trained to. Isn't that the goal? Isn't that why he works so hard to climb the ladder being corporal? To serve and to protect? Or was it to destroy and to kill? He scoffs in the guy's face at the antithesis when he punches his nose one last time. He leaves him scattered in his own blood. Lesson learned, or so Swoff hopes for the best.

Anthony finds you again to tell you that the asshole won't hurt you anymore. You're unsure of what he means until your eyes land on his bloody knuckles and the way his biceps have swollen from the effort. Before Anthony walks away, you finally ask for his name. You did not even know the name of the man who defended you.

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 21: Holiday

You, Joel and Ellie celebrate Christmas in Jackson. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-20 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut :D. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 7k 

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

December 24, 2026

“They really didn’t make Christmas music with dancing in mind, did they?” 

Your head was on Joel’s shoulder, a pleasantly drunk haze falling over your mind and sinking into your limbs. You smiled at Tommy’s question, his arm around his wife’s shoulders. 

“No they did not,” you said, even though you knew the question was rhetorical. 

Half of Jackson was crowded into the Tipsy Bison. Christmas music was on the stereo, someone in the kitchen had made egg nog, the whole bar was draped in multi-colored Christmas lights casting everything in a a cheerful glow. 

You’d been in Jackson for more than a year now, something that was hard to believe. Last year at this time you’d spent all your spare time at home alone - except when Ellie all but broke down your door, anyway. You’d missed all this without even knowing that you’d missed it. 

Christmas hadn’t mattered much to you in years. The last real one you had before the world ended was really only special because you got to see your brothers again for the first time in months. The holiday itself hadn’t been what mattered. 

But you’d felt an odd sense of anticipation this time, something you hadn’t felt since you were a kid. Being around other people who remembered the time before - who knew what it had been like when there were things like Christmas tree lots and mall Santas - made it feel exciting in way the holiday hadn’t in years past, even when you were a teenager. 

It helped that Joel was recovered from the incident in August. He had returned to business as usual, going out on patrol with Tommy who had fully healed, too. But their first time out, you’d insisted on going, too. 

“You really don’t need to worry about it, Sweetheart,” Joel said. “It’s just a day long patrol, not goin’ anywhere rough. Gonna be fine.” 

“Then you shouldn’t have a problem with me going,” you shrugged. “Olivia can cover for me at the stables and I can cover you and Tommy’s asses.” 

Joel laughed a little and sighed. 

“Alright,” he kissed your temple. “If it’ll make you feel better, you can come out with us. This time.” 

It had been an easy day, unseasonably warm for October. The three of you went to a small town that was about a five hour ride from Jackson, a town that happened to have a record store.

“Oh shit!” You said, flipping through CDs on the dank and rotting shelves. “They have the White Stripes!” 

Joel frowned, looking over your shoulder. 

“Who’s that?” 

“I’ll play you something when we get back,” you said, turning the CD over to look at the track list. “They’re good and they have a girl drummer which automatically makes them even better. I was just thinking of them the other day, I think Ellie would like them…” 

Joel smiled. 

“Yeah,” he said. “She probably would.” 

You stashed the CD and a few others in your pack, saving them to give Ellie at Christmas. They were wrapped and under a tree in Joel’s living room now and you were more excited about watching her open them and listening to them with her for the first time than you were to open what had your name on it under the tree. 

“Think I can con you into a dance anyhow?” Joel asked, brushing your hairline with his nose. 

“You know,” you smiled. “Think I’m just drunk enough for it to work.” 

He took your hand and led you to the dance floor just as It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas came on the stereo. You smiled and draped your arms around Joel’s neck, your whole body pressed against the front of him, so different from the first time you’d danced with him. 

“You sure are pretty,” he smiled, swaying gently, his hands at your back. 

“You’re one to talk,” you replied, smiling too. 

“Sure you don’t need glasses?” He teased and you rolled your eyes before tucking your head against his chest and shoulder, your nose brushing his neck. 

“I’ve known you for a year now,” you said quietly after a minute of just moving gently with him. 

“That all?” Joel said. “Seems like I’ve always known you.” 

You smiled against him. 

“I think I would have gone looking for you sooner, if I knew you existed,” you said. “Just didn’t know any better.” 

Joel’s lips brushed your cheek. 

“Would have definitely gotten my ass out of Boston a few decades earlier,” he said. “Lot I would’ve done different, had I known better.” 

He held you a little tighter. 

“Is it bad that I think I’m lookin’ forward to the day after Christmas more than Christmas?” He asked. 

“What?” You laughed a little and pulled back from him enough to look at his face. “Why?” 

“Two days just you n’me,” he smiled. “I know it’s patrol but… feels almost like a camping trip or vacation. Getting out of town, ridin’ through snow covered forest, ski lodge waiting at the end? Can’t think of much better than that.” 

“Well when you put it that way,” you teased, tucking your head against him again. “But I get what you mean. Though I’m pretty excited for Christmas with Ellie. Haven’t had a real Christmas with trees and lights and shit with a kid in a long time. Almost feels like I should try to convince her Santa is real or something, just really make the whole experience happen for her.” 

“I’m just glad she’s speakin’ to me this Christmas,” Joel said, giving you a squeeze, his voice thick. “Got you to thank for that.” 

“She’d have come around eventually,” you said. “Kids… They’re smart. They see things, they know. She knows you love her. She’d understand it one day, even without my help.” 

“Startin’ to feel like all the good things I got I got because of you,” he said softly. 

You lifted your head to look him in the eye, his gaze gentle and deep, his eyes crinkling at the edges with his soft smile. 

“Well you’ve saved my life enough times,” you said. “Seems like it’s only fair. I couldn’t have anything without you. Don’t think I’d want it without you.” 

He pressed his forehead to yours, his eyes on your own and, for a moment, you were certain there was no one left inside the bar but him and you. 

He took you home after, walking slow through the falling snow with the first coat Joel had ever given you wrapped around you. You closed the curtains on the front window before plugging in the lights on the tree, just looking at it twinkling in the dark as you curled against Joel’s side on the couch. But before too long, you kissed him all soft and needy, his tongue dipping into your mouth. 

Joel undressed you gently and stretched you out beneath him on the couch. He covered your body with his, warm and hard as you rocked your hips against his length. He kissed you as he entered you, sinking into your tight heat until his body was flush with yours and he was buried within you. He pulled his lips away from you for a moment and your eyes met his, the lights reflected there as your heavy breaths matched his own. You reached up and traced the outline of him, your fingers brushing into his hair. You could feel his heartbeat in your own body, the life and warmth and vibrancy of him enveloping and consuming you. For a moment, you thought you might be able to know anything that crossed his mind, that he’d know anything that crossed your own. You were broken open and laid bare for him and all you wanted him to do was hold the pieces of you close and understand with a deep certainty how they fit together. You didn’t think you’d ever been this close to another person. You never wanted to be this close to someone who wasn’t Joel ever again. 

Everything in you was drawn tight and desperate, the heat of want threatening to swallow you whole and you were sure you were going to burst with it. 

“Joel,” you were almost squirming below him, needing the friction, needing more, eyes wide as you panted for breath. “Please…” 

“Please what?” He sounded almost as desperate as you. 

“Need you to move,” your eyes searched his. “Need to feel you, it’s too much, need…” 

“Shh,” he brushed your hair back, his palm lingering on the crown of your head. You were suddenly aware of everywhere he was, how he was everything. He was around you and inside you and over you, the thick weight of his cock filling every hollow space of you. He dropped his forehead to yours and closed his eyes for a moment, like he was concentrating before opening them again. His pupils were blown and he was looking at you as though you were the only thing left in the world. “I’ve got you, Baby. Gonna take such good care of you.” 

You just nodded against him and he pressed somehow deeper into you, his pubic bone pressing almost painfully against you before he pulled back, the slow drag of his hips making you moan as his the ridge of his head worked your channel. He pushed back into you firmly, tenderly, opening your body to him so he could reach parts of you that he seemed to have claimed for himself and you were happy to offer them. 

Like this with him you could understand why it was called making love. There was a sense that feeling him like this, experiencing him like this, had to exist somewhere outside of just yourself. It was too big to contain within yourself, what the two of you created when he brought you to your peak with an aching and heady rhythm. 

“You’re gettin’ close,” he panted, grinding his length deeper into you. You just nodded even though he hadn’t really asked. He knew. He didn’t need to ask. “Love feeling you like this. Want you to come for me, Baby. Want you to give in to it, want you to let go for me.” 

You nodded again, past the point of being able to form words. Your back arched, closing whatever minuscule gap there was between your bodies. Joel took your hand, lacing his fingers with your own before putting it over your head and pressing it down into the couch, pulling a strangled moan from you as he did. 

“Joel,” you managed. “Want… want to feel you…” 

“Just let go,” he whispered. “Give you everything you want if you just come for me, Baby. Just come for me…” He pressed deep and you felt the building tension in you crest and overflow, your channel fluttering over him, working his thick shaft as you came with a broken cry. 

“Oh there we go,” he held himself deep inside, dropping his head to your shoulder. “That’s it Baby, just keep coming, just keep…” 

He moaned and you felt him throb inside of you, felt the heat of his come as he filled you. His hand tightened on yours and you instinctively tilted your hips to make sure he was as deep within you as he could possibly be. 

You held each other like that for a while, Joel still buried inside you as his broad hand gently stroked your hair as you looked at him in the glow of the Christmas tree. 

He must have carried you to bed at some point, and you woke up tangled with him, your head on his chest and his hand splayed wide on your back. The light pouring through the window was bright, the morning sun reflecting on the fresh snow and making his bedroom light and crisp. You kissed his chest and he sighed contentedly. 

“Merry Christmas,” you smiled at him. 

Joel smiled back. 

“Ain’t you just the prettiest damn present.” 

You laughed a little. 

“Ellie say a time she was comin’ by?” Joel asked, hand sliding up your back to brush your cheek. “Or just that she was?” 

“Just sometime in the morning,” you said. “Why?”

“Thinkin’ I really want to fuck you into this mattress before makin’ you breakfast,” he said. “But don’t want to be interrupted…” 

As if on cue, you heard the bang of the front door against the wall downstairs. You laughed and pressed your face into Joel’s chest to muffle the sound. 

“Where are you guys?” Ellie yelled. “Being gross?”

“Down in a minute, Kiddo!” Joel yelled back as you pulled your face from his chest to look at him again. He held your face and pulled you in for kiss. 

“Later?” You asked quietly. 

Joel groaned. 

“Absolutely.” 

You got dressed quickly and found Ellie sitting on the floor by the tree, turning the paper-wrapped packages over and examining them. 

“Merry Christmas, Kiddo,” Joel smiled at her and she looked up from the gift in her hands. 

“Did people really used to believe a fat old man came down their chimney and left them shit?” 

You snorted and Joel laughed a little. 

“Generally just the kids,” he said. “Gimme a minute to make some coffee, then you can rip into everything.” 

You tucked yourself into a corner of the couch and smiled, watching Ellie rifle through the presents under the tree. It made your heart ache a bit to watch her. That she’d never had this as a girl hurt. That you hadn’t been able to do this in decades hurt, too. It felt like so much lost time, so many things that could have been better or different and they weren’t. So many things that you missed out on because you’d been holed up in the wilderness and hadn’t looked for a place like Jackson, hadn’t had the faith that a place like this could exist. 

You tried not to think about it, fought to focus on anything but what could have been if you’d just tried to find this place years ago.

Joel pressed a warm mug into your hands and sat next to you on the couch, putting his arm over your shoulders, tugging you against him and kissing the top of your head. You took a sip and smiled a little at the taste of whiskey. He’d spiked it.

“Alright Old Man,” Ellie said, picking up one of the packages she brought and holding it out for him. “This one is for you.” 

Ellie had made you each a charcoal drawing. Yours of Renaissance, Joel’s of you. Your eyes went a little wide at it. It’s not like you’d posed for her or anything, you hadn’t even noticed her doing it. It was strange to see yourself the way Ellie apparently did. You were pretty, the way she saw you, a softness in the drawing that you didn’t associate with yourself. 

“This is amazing, Baby Girl,” Joel said quietly. “Thank you.” 

“Figured I already drew you a horse,” she shrugged. “Thought you’d like something pretty to look at. And she’s got good taste, thought she’d want something better than your face on her wall.” 

Joel laughed before you could protest. 

“Got that right,” he said. 

Joel got Ellie a stash of art supplies that you knew he must have been tracking down for the better part of the year, watercolors and pencils and full sketchpads and you gave her the CDs and a few comic books you’d found that you thought she’d like. 

“Oh shit!” She yanked open the first comic. “Look at this guy, he’s got like… laser vision!” 

You laughed and pressed closer to Joel and he kissed the crown of your head before he leaned forward and picked up something from below the tree, handing it to you. 

You unwrapped it and opened the old shoe box. Inside was the carving of a horse, beautiful and intricate, delicate legs and a tail that looked like it was somehow in motion while being formed out of wood. 

“Joel,” you gasped, running your finger over the smooth surface. “It’s beautiful…” 

“Thought you needed somethin’ of your own in that house over there,” he said. “Or over here. When you want.” 

You looked over at him and smiled, tears stinging at your eyes, and you wrapped your arms around him. You stretched and got your gifts for Joel next before you ended up fully crying on Christmas morning. 

He opened the first one slowly and smiled at it, a holster you made from scrap leather for a knife he’d picked up the last time you were on patrol together. 

“You act like you can’t do shit like this and then you make somethin’ great,” he smiled at you, running his thumb over where you’d burned his initials into the sheath just like you had with the guitar strap. 

“Tell me that after it holds up for a few patrols,” you said, face getting hot. You took a sip of coffee. 

He opened the next one as you gnawed on your lower lip. It was just a little box and he tugged the top off of it, revealing a slender chain with a piece of metal as a charm. He frowned, running his thumb over it. 

“I made it from part of the bullet they pulled out of your leg,” you said, looking over his shoulder as he turned it in his palm. You’d cut “E + B” into one side of it. “Thought you should have a reminder that you’ve got people waiting for you. Next time you’re out for a few days.” 

He took a shaky breath and kissed you tenderly, deeply, before putting it on, looking at it in his palm. 

“I love it, Baby,” he said softly. 

“Look at Bambi, being all sentimental,” Ellie teased from her spot on the floor, already using one of the new sketchpads from Joel. You glared at her, trying not to smile, and she laughed. 

“One more,” you said before pressing your nose into Joel’s shoulder. For some reason, this made you anxious. Like the gifts were leaving you exposed. You dug your nails into your thigh to keep your leg from bouncing too much. 

Joel unwrapped the cassette tape, looking at the label. 

“Daylight,” he read from the tag. You’d tried to write it out in your best handwriting, the kind you hadn’t used in years but that your mother had drilled into you. “Don’t think I know this artist, who’s…” 

You cut him off before he could read the name aloud. 

First, middle, last. 

“You do,” you said. “That’s… that’s me.” 

His head whipped around to look at you, his eyes a little wide. 

“I wrote it,” you nodded at the tape. “The quality is questionable - it’s just from an old audio recorder from my house - and I’ll play it for you if you want. But… Anyway, I wrote it for you and… well, felt like I should put my real name on it. No one’s really known it in a while but I wanted you to.” 

“Baby…” he breathed, looking back at the tape. “This…” 

“You can keep calling me Bambi,” you smiled a little. “Everyone else does. Which is still your fault, by the way.” 

He laughed. 

“This is amazing,” he said. “You’re amazing, I…” 

“I’m going to need you guys to not be gross when I’m in the room,” Ellie groaned dramatically. 

“Don’t worry, Kiddo,” Joel said. “Think we can keep it under control. Got a few more here…” 

He picked up a small package and handed it to you. 

You opened it, a CD inside, one you didn’t know. You looked at the back, frowning, only to find that it was an album of accompaniment tracks for violin. 

“Oh, cool!” You said, looking over the track list. “I could definitely adapt these parts for guitar and…” 

“Well, didn’t say you’d need to do that,” Joel said, clapping his hands on his knees before getting up. “Just a sec…” 

Joel left and you frowned to Ellie, who just shrugged, her pencil frozen over the paper. He returned just a minute later, a violin in one hand and something you didn’t recognize in the other. 

“Wasn’t sure how to wrap either of these so…” 

You practically jumped off the couch, eyes wide, and took the instrument from him, holding it reverently. 

“Where did you find this?” You asked, looking over the body. It looked to be in amazing condition. 

Joel smiled. 

“Been on the look out for one since you told me what instruments you played,” he said. “Got a bow and extra strings too, should be set for a bit.” 

You threw the arm that wasn’t holding the violin around his neck and he laughed before giving you a squeeze. When you pulled away from him, he turned to Ellie. 

“And this is for you,” he said, unfolding the bundle in his hand. Ellie got up, frowning at it for a second but watching as he did. “Figured since you’re gettin’ real good at your art, you should have all the tools…” 

He finished putting it all together and set it down, an easel that was the perfect size for the largest sketchpad that Joel had gotten her. 

“Oh shit!” Her face lit up. “This is like… real artist stuff!” 

“Well yeah,” Joel shrugged, crossing his arms. “You’re a real artist, Kiddo. Need real artist stuff.” 

Ellie practically hurled herself at him and he laughed, catching her out of the air. You smiled, watching them. They had become so much more like what you imagined them to have been before Ellie learned the truth about the hospital. It had taken a few months to get them there and you learned that giving them projects to work on together seemed to be the best way to move them along. 

You started with shoeing the horses and quickly pinned down Tommy to come up with some more ideas for ways to get them progressing toward a common goal. They worked with him to build a new, larger pen for some of the livestock. You ended up concocting busy work that didn’t seem like busy work every other week or so until you noticed Ellie coming by the house of her own accord and Joel spending more than a few perfunctory minutes when he went to the outbuilding she called home. Every now and then, you still saw signs of Ellie being introspective. Sometimes she would go quiet, glancing at Joel with her brows drawn together and her eyes dark. But it was so much better than it was and you could clearly see the people they had become to each other as they survived crossing the United States.

The two of them were doing better than you’d ever really seen them by Christmas. You weren’t sure if it was the holiday or they had always been building to this point, but there was no sign of the tension that had been there as long as you’d known them both. It was hard to believe that the Ellie who was color swatching her new pencils and excitedly telling Joel about things like the saturation of the pigment was the same Ellie who had come over to your house, upset that you and Joel were together. 

She left to exchange gifts with friends in the afternoon and you passed the time playing guitar with Joel while watching the snow drift down outside before holding each other on the couch, stretched out long and pressed close, something that earned you both an “Ugh I thought you were supposed to be adults, show some self control” when Ellie came back a few hours later. 

After dinner with Tommy, Maria, William and the rest of Jackson, Ellie went home and Joel tried to put the cassette you’d made him in the boombox in his room but you begged him not to. 

“Why not?” He frowned. “I’m excited to hear it…” 

“I’ll make you a deal,” you said, putting your arms around his waist. “I will let you fuck me if you wait until I am not within earshot to listen to that. I can’t stand hearing my own stuff, makes me want to crawl out of my skin.” 

Joel smiled and shook his head a little. 

“You were gonna let me fuck you, anyway.” 

“Moot point.” 

He kissed you gently. 

“Fine,” he said. “I’ll wait until you go home tomorrow to get your stuff for patrol. Think I’ve got the self control to hold off ’til then…” 

You laughed and kissed him again, his hands growing eager against you. You rode him, your hands spread wide on his chest, memorizing the way the moonlight reflecting on the snow cast the shadows over his face, coming around him with a whimpering moan. As you fell asleep on his chest, his softening length still inside you as he held you close, you felt more at home than you had since you’d fled the home you’d made after the outbreak. 

“I love you, Joel,” you said softly. You weren’t sure he was conscious enough to hear you but he held you a little tighter all the same. 

***

Joel had always loved the outdoors but there was something about being in the woods after it snowed that was damn near magic. 

It was like that now, out with you the day after Christmas. The snow hung heavy on the trees, boughs drooping toward the earth like they were covered in frosting, the crystalline layer catching the light and sending it shattering off the tree trunks.

The almost blinding light caught your eyes and hair and the snowflakes did, too, making you look like some otherworldly being. One that he should know better than to try to touch but was too selfish not to. 

He’d listened to the tape when you left to head to your place to gather your things for patrol that morning. He just held the cassette for a moment, eyes tracing over the graceful lettering that spelled the title and your name. 

You’d given him your name. You had told him why you didn’t like to share it, why you hadn’t shared it with anyone but the doctor here in decades. There was a power in it. So much of what you had and who you were had been weaponized against you since the outbreak. It made sense that you’d keep something close and for yourself and yourself alone. And he’d been content with that. He had more of you than he deserved, he wasn’t about to go and ask for more. 

But you’d given him your name. First, middle, last. Because you wanted him to have that part of you, too.

He said it out loud to himself, testing the words on his tongue, picturing you as he did, tying the person he knew to the name that belonged to you. 

Joel put the tape in the stereo and pressed play, turning the volume down a little. Just in case someone was walking by outside. He didn’t want to share this with them in any way. This was just for him. 

There was a few seconds of crackling almost silence before you spoke, the sound clearer than he’d really expected it to be. 

“Hey Joel,” your voice sounded close and almost nervous. He smiled at that, that you’d be nervous playing for him even after all this time. “I’ve kind of been wishing I was better with words since I’ve known you. I’m not exactly a poet so it’s kind of hard for me to say what you mean to me. But… well, I do know music. This doesn’t quite say it right, either, but it does a better job than I could on my own. I love you, Joel. So much.” 

He listened close, could hear the quiet sound of your breaths and the sound of you adjusting the guitar in your arms before you started playing. 

The music made Joel’s heart ache, so beautiful it almost hurt to listen to it. It was slow and gentle and intricate and longing, made him think of what it was to look at you and feel you and have you consume so much of who he was because he wanted you to, didn’t want himself without you.

When the song ended, the final chord hanging on the air, there was a pinch of tears at the back of his throat. He sniffed and tried to blink them back as there was a rustling on the recording and he could picture you adjusting your guitar. 

“I hope you liked it,” you laughed a little. “And I hope it makes sense. Hope you know how much I love you. Because I do. Always will.” 

The tape ended and Joel rewound it, collecting himself before listening to it again. 

You were already at the stables when Joel got there, strapping your things to Renaissance’s side and humming to yourself. Joel didn’t say anything, wasn’t sure he’d really be able to speak past the lump in his throat. Instead, he went to you and you frowned when you saw him. 

“Everything OK?” You asked. He grabbed you roughly and pulled you into his chest, kissing the crown of your head and clutching you close. You paused a moment before wrapping your arms around his waist and giving him a squeeze. “Joel?” 

“Love you,” he managed, not willing to let you go quite yet. 

“Love you too,” you pulled back from him to look at him and laughed a little. “You alright?” 

He kissed your forehead. 

“Got you,” he said. “I’m great.” 

The patrol had been quiet, just like Joel thought it would be. He hadn’t gone out with just you since snow started falling and he was ready for the kinds of patrols that came with winter. Last patrol with you had been in late October and the two of you had been caught up in a hoard of infected that was making its way south, migrating to survive the winter. You’d gotten pinned down at one point, Joel damn near panicking at the sight of it. He was able to get to you and knock the infected away, giving you enough space to raise your gun and fire. You’d made it out unscathed but with a lesson learned. 

“Need shit I can use at close range,” you’d panted, dusting yourself off. “Baseball bat. Axe, maybe. Knife isn’t enough.” 

Joel had found you an axe the second the two of you were back to Jackson and it was strapped to the side of your horse where you could easily free it to swing at anything headed your way. 

But he didn’t think you’d need it today. This point in the season, the raiders were holed up to ride out the weather, not wanting to risk exposure by roaming much. Infected - with a few exceptions - had all fled the cold. These patrols were mostly to make sure anyone watching knew that Jackson was going to protect and maintain its territory, even when there wasn’t much to protect against. 

The forest was quiet, you riding alongside Joel when the trail was wide enough to allow for it. You just looked around at the trees, enjoying nature for what it was, Joel taking advantage of the quiet to watch you do it. He’d be happy to watch you do just about anything. 

“Almost like the end of the world never happened when you’re out here,” you said quietly, looking up at the snow-coated branches. “Like it’s a whole other world.” 

The two of you saw no signs of anyone else when you made it to the lodge for the night, twilight on the horizon because days were short and nights were long this time of year. You settled the horses while Joel got a fire going in the fireplace inside. He set out your sleeping bags in front of the stone hearth, the setting sun casting the snow in shades of pink and orange from the wall of windows beyond. He pulled a small pot out of his bag and put some leftovers from the Christmas dinner the night before he’d managed to snag before they all got snapped up, turkey and stuffing and gravy warming as you came in from taking care of the horses. 

“That smells incredible,” you said, putting your arms around Joel’s neck and pressing your body close. You were in his coat and his shirt, wrapping yourself up in him and he loved it, relished that he was what made you feel safe. 

“Can’t take much credit,” he said, kissing you gently. “Just swiped it.” 

“More than I managed,” you tangled your fingers in his hair, your soft gaze holding his. He sometimes thought the entire universe was contained in your eyes, like if he looked into them for long enough he’d find the answers to everything he’d ever questioned, the fulfillment of everything he’d ever longed for. “This was nice. Should talk them into letting me out of the stables more.” 

“Won’t catch me arguin’,” he smiled, nuzzling against your cheek. “Not sure I can promise the more gourmet dinner options the rest of the year, though.” 

You laughed and kissed him, soft and sweet, tongue dipping into his mouth. 

“Think we’d be just fine with jerky,” you said, voice breathy. 

He smiled back. 

“Think so, too.” 

You ate dinner close together, you tucked against his side. After, the two of you took turns playing guitar and singing, sticking close to the fire as it grew dark outside. Eventually, Joel set the guitar aside and took your face in his hands, kissing you deeply before smiling against your lips.

“What?” You teased. 

“First kissed you up here,” he said. “Worried I wasn’t ever gonna get to again. Now I can kiss you whenever I want.” 

“And it’s somehow not enough for me,” you kissed him again and he pulled you onto his lap before he undressed you slowly. You unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it down his arms until his skin was warm against your bare chest. You pressed yourself close and tight to him, rocking your clothed core over his hardening length. 

“Want you,” you were damn near panting. 

“Past wantin’ you,” he pulled you somehow closer. “Been far past it all day. Since I listened to your tape.” 

You pulled back from him a little and he took advantage of the distance to look at your bared skin. 

“You heard it?” You asked quietly. He nodded. “Did… did you like it?” 

“Oh, Baby,” he cupped your cheek. “I loved it.” 

You smiled and kissed him again and he held you close before maneuvering you onto your back on top of the sleeping bags, the heat from the fire warm on his skin. He tugged your jeans and panties off, casting them aside before removing his own. He ran his hands over your thighs, the softness of your skin in sharp contrast to the roughness of his own. His fingers reached your slit, all damp heat as he traced over you to your clit. You moaned, rocking your hips against him. He watched the muscle of your thighs tighten and shift and he took your ankle in his large hand, moving your foot to his shoulder so he could trail his lips over the supple flesh of the inside of your leg. He took his hand from your leg to grip his hardening cock as he toyed with your pussy as your back arched below him. He brushed his head against your swollen sex and all he could think about was opening you up to him, burying himself inside you until he couldn’t separate himself from you anymore. 

His eyes traced over you, your pupils blown, your chest heaving as you panted for breath. 

He lined himself up with your tight, grasping hole and lowered himself over you, his chest on yours, his lips inches from your own. He sank into you slowly, watched as his making space for himself inside you came over you, your eyes rolling back every so slightly before closing, the delicate moans from your parted lips. He breathed your name — your real name - as he reached the very end of you and you gasped, eyes opening to search his. 

“Joel,” you whispered. He kissed you softly, sheathed within you. “Call me that again. Want… want to hear you say my name.” 

He obeyed, pressing impossibly deeper before pulling out, slow but firm, before opening you up to him again, your name on his tongue as he did. Joel worked your body slow and steady, his orgasm building slowly alongside yours, your name falling from his lips again and again like a prayer in the night until your fluttering core made him spill into you. 

Neither of you bothered putting clothes on before climbing into one sleeping bag, your bodies close and warm. He watched you sleep in his arms by the dying firelight and he wasn’t ready to let you go when you both woke up in the morning. 

The warm glow of you left him optimistic as the two of you got underway again. It didn’t seem like anything could happen when he was with you like this. Like the two of you existed in a separate reality where people didn’t get hurt, where the evils of people couldn’t exist. 

“Joel?” You said, a few hours into the journey on the return trail. He stopped his horse alongside yours and you nodded into the woods, a good 10 feet off the trail. It looked like a large animal had been making its way through the snow before turning around. 

“Could be an elk or somethin’,” he said. “Might not be a horse…” 

You didn’t respond. You just dismounted, grabbing your axe and patting Renaissance’s neck as you picked your way through the snow and the brush to the point off the trail. Joel sighed but followed you, catching up to you just as you froze, staring down at the snow. There were distinct signs that there was a person with the animal and Joel sighed before he realized exactly what you were staring at. Just the start of a footprint in the snow, it didn’t have the chance to sink low to the ground like they’d been stopped. Just shallow enough to easily make out the size of the foot. It was small, too small to belong to a grown man. It was either a child - maybe a teenager - or a small woman. 

“Bambi…” he said cautiously, but you ignored him, turning on your heel, hooking your axe into its place on your saddle and mounting Renaissance. 

“Those tracks are relatively fresh,” you said. “It was snowing until after midnight and they’re not covered.” 

“We should go back and…” 

“No,” you said sharply. “Then it might be too late. We have to try. Joel, please…” 

He met your gaze, your eyes wide and desperate. 

“Please,” you whispered. 

He sighed but climbed back on his horse. 

“Somethin’ goes bad,” he said. “You get back to Jackson, get help. Understand?” 

You nodded and Joel led the way, trying to move as quickly as he could through the woods and the snow. 

After going almost two hours out of the way, the two of you stumbled upon what had clearly been a campsite not all that long ago. There were signs of at least a dozen or so men, the campfires no longer warm but not snow-covered either. 

You got off Renaissance again and started going around the area but Joel wasn’t sure what you were looking for. He dismounted, anyway, following close behind you as you picked through the signs of life that were here. Eventually, you whistled, something almost like a bird call but slightly off before going quiet. 

“Bambi…” 

“Shh.” 

He obeyed and you gave another whistle the same way, holding your hand out to signal him to stay quiet. There was no response. 

You visibly deflated before turning and pressing your face to Joel’s chest. He put his arms around you and held you gentle and close, feeling your warmth against him. 

“You’re OK Love,” he said softly. 

“Not me I’m worried about,” you sniffed, voice thick. 

“I know,” he held you closer. “I know… I know you want to help people who are hurtin’ like you. But you can’t save everyone, Baby, you just can’t.” 

You were silent and he just held you close. 

“We’ll head back,” he said quietly. “Report it. Send a team out with enough guns and men to handle a group of this size, see what we can’t find.” 

You nodded against him, clutching him close. 

“We wouldn’t have been able to help ‘em,” he whispered. “There were too many of them, would have gotten us both killed. Better this way. They’ll have a chance now.” 

You pulled away from him and dried your eyes. 

“Should get back,” you said, tone serious. “Sooner we’re back to Jackson, sooner we can send help.” 

“C’mon,” he put his arm around your shoulders and guided you back to the horses, turning to look back the way the two of you had come. 

He stopped in his tracks. 

Just like the sign you’d spotted months before, freshly carved into the trunks of the trees, were two large Xes, like they were waiting for him. 

What scared him more was the thought that they might be waiting for you.

Next Chapter

A/N: Yay, soft Jackson Christmas!

...other stuff is happening too.

Really really really soon.

BUT I LOVE YOU!!!

Thank you so much for reading and for being here. I'm seriously so excited to share what's coming next, I hope you're excited to see what happens, too. All your kindness and support means the world, just thank you thank you thank you. Love you all!

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[stillenha]

new years kiss series: heeseung

heeseung x you; friends to lovers au, fluff

summary: you and heeseung are designated drivers for your friend groups at a new years eve party and you can’t tell if he was more drunk (in love) than you words: 2.6k warning: alcohol consumption a/n: writing a nye kiss series to start this new enha writing blog! a masterlist will be made soon once i post the other stories of this series. hope you all enjoy reading my fics! happy new year! ♡♡♡

The night was getting long. There was nearly an hour left before the new year and you finally found yourself settling down by the table counter in the kitchen after greeting other friends and joining groups for food and some chit chat time. You felt relieved that you went past the loud karaoke set that has been blasting all night since you arrived at the party. 

Your cup of fruit punch was set on the table in front of you, along with your phone.  You peeked out at the window of the porch and saw some people lighting up fire cracker sticks. You would join them but it’s too cold out and you didn’t have the energy to do more tonight. All you could do was sigh. You were exhausted and Heeseung noticed. He just got off from a pool game in a different room when he saw you there. 

You noticed a mistletoe up on the hall and wondered why it wasn’t put down yet before you even realized he walked through it. 

“So who are you trying to kiss tonight?” 

“What?” Your eyes widened at the question when Heeseung walked up with a cup of fruit juice in his hand and sat next to you. 

Heeseung, who you knew since high school, was wearing all black. It was his style and he had a leather jacket on, which didn’t really match winter. This was typical: he’s very different from others in a way that you kind of find him attractive at times. You wouldn’t call it a crush after all of these years. He’s just… really nice to be around with. 

When he saw that you were still staring at him with a shocked look, he looked at the mistletoe then back at you, and nudged his head at the decoration. You came to your senses and shook your head. “I just can’t believe they still have a mistletoe up here.” 

“It’s Jake.” Heeseung tilted his head, hissing a bit. “I think he’s still trying to kiss his crush.”

“Christmas is over though.” 

“His spirit is still up for it, for the new year at least.” Heeseung chuckled, noticing how some red decorations were still up in his house. He took a drink from his cup before setting it down. You laughed quietly along, then he asked, “I’m not really into new year kisses, unless the person I’m with feels the same as me.” 

“Sorry to break it to you but I may not be interested.” Though it would be nice to have someone to kiss, and it would have to be the same feeling as his. 

“It’s all good.” He grinned. “You seemed so busy earlier. Now, you’ve settled down?” 

“Finally, actually.” You had the biggest sigh ever and he followed your breath to the cup in front of you. 

“Oh, and you’re drinking fruit punch too?” 

“Yeah,” You chuckled at how excited he sounded. “I’m a DD tonight.” 

“Same.” Heeseung showed you his cup, then his lips twisted to the side uneasily. “Why are we so bad luck?” 

“You’re right.” There went another sigh. “When I think about the year, only the bad days come to my mind.” 

“You sound like you went through a lot.” Heeseung fiddled his fingers at his cup, and turned to you. 

He could feel how long you’ve thought about the year all night. You were everywhere, and he meant literally. Every spot he was, you were there, and Jake’s house was like a big mansion. It seemed like you just wanted to get the day over with, and that was probably how your year went. 

“How do you feel now?” Heeseung asked genuinely.

“Lifeless, but there’s an urge of fun trying to come out of me?” It felt like a confession, but you truly wanted to feel something and just didn’t know what to do for that to happen. 

“There’s some hope.” He nodded, whispering to himself. He noticed the confused look on your face and he grinned. “What I mean is, today can be a good day. You just have to remember that you get to choose whether it is or not.” 

You softly laughed, not because of how true his words were but the way his hand moved when he was making his point. 

“That is true.” Your smile died down and you sighed. “I wish I realized that sooner. It just seems easier said than done.” 

“Then, can I ask you what you want to do right now?” Heeseung suggested. He leaned onto the countertop and rested his head onto his fist. His blinks were slow, eyes stuck on you under that smile, so sweetly waiting. It felt like he was doing that the whole night, trying to listen to you. 

“I honestly want a drink, but I can’t. I want to be responsible.” You looked away, finding your friends having the best night with their lovers. You wondered why you even said yes to being their designated driver for tonight when you should be having fun too. Somehow, you couldn’t feel the joy to get up and join them. It could be this conversation you’re having with Heeseung but you also didn’t want to end it because you felt seen in his presence. He’s listening to you and you didn’t want him to stop. 

“You don’t have to be responsible.” Heeseung’s voice teased and you almost glared at him, then he continued. “I can be responsible for you.”

“Be responsible for me?” 

He nodded once, then he turned to you. “The choices you make tonight.” 

“How are my choices your responsibility?” You asked softly, hoping that you didn’t sound mad or crazy. 

Heeseung pointed his chin to your phone that vibrated a second ago on the table. “It looks like your friends don't need a DD anymore.”

Your face burned up in joy as something ignited from inside of you. Your shocking face made him grin widely. You shook your head, still in denial that what you read from their texts were true. “No, no. I probably shouldn’t.” 

“I said I can be responsible for you tonight.” 

“What about your friends? Don’t they need you too? I just think it’ll be a hassle to drive so many people-”

Your words got cut when Heeseung called out your name, a tiny laugh followed shortly. He sounded desperately tired of your complaints, but also as if he was teasing you again. 

“I promise you they won’t need me. They will leave with other friends later or end up sleeping here tonight. It happens every year.” 

“Really?” You’re not a party goer to confirm but you couldn’t believe him just yet. He nodded once, then you continued. “That means you’ve been to plenty of new year parties.” 

Perhaps, since you met him. You didn’t want to assume, and it hit you that he may have kissed plenty of people too. You could be slapping yourself for thinking that, but instead, you found yourself blushing.

“Yeah, but I don’t drink when it comes to big parties like these. Many friends can be irresponsible. I’d rather look out for them than get myself in some kind of trouble that I might regret.” Heeseung grabbed his fruit punch cup and took a drink before he cheered it at you. “Do you trust me now?”

“I’ll go get a beer.” 

Heeseung grinned, as you stepped away. In a way, he felt proud that you’re listening to yourself but little did he know, you were willing to drink just a little so you could stay sober for him. For a second, you thought how peer pressuring that was, but then again, you wanted to drink too. A beer won’t do much to you. As you grabbed a can from the fridge, you peeked at his back. You had no idea what he’s really up to but there’s definitely something on his mind. 

“What the heck?” Your voice jotted his head to you when you sat back down on the seat next to him. You set your drink on the table and leaned your head close to his hand to take a better look. “You made that just now?”

“Yeah.” Heeseung closed his fingers to tighten the napkin ring he made on his index finger. It had a butterfly at the top of it. His smile seemed to never leave the night as he adored how awed you were. “Do you want it?”

Without giving you a chance to answer, he took off the ring, held your hand up and slipped it through your finger. 

“It’s so cute, wow. You’re… you’re a wizard.” You complimented before you opened the can of beer. You took a drink of it in two big gulps to wash your burning cheeks away. 

“No one has ever called me that.” Heeseung laughed. You couldn’t tell if he liked it or if he was making fun of it. You just couldn’t help to explain. 

“I really mean it. You don’t see people going to parties and making tangible stuff like this. They just drink, dance, and be loud.” You were still awed at the artistry work he did that was now wrapped at your finger. “I want to learn how to make this.”

Heeseung was relieved. You were listening to yourself and didn’t shy away from what you wanted to do. “I can teach you.” 

In that moment, you met his eyes and the world seemed to stop around you. Heeseung began to lean in. Slowly, you followed his move. You didn’t keep track of the time or realize how close midnight was going to hit. 

All of a sudden, you both heard a shout of his name from the microphone where a few of his friends were karaoking from. You both moved back quickly and your eyes followed that loud voice. 

“Where is Heeseung? Where is he- OH THERE HE IS!” His friend pointed at him then waved his hand for him to come. “Dude, this is your song! You have to sing this! Come on!!! It’s Mistletoe!!!”

Heeseung shook his head as his friends laughed loudly through the room. You could almost tell this song seemed to be an inside joke within his friend group. You’d probably ask about it later because he looked so embarrassed right now. He got up from his seat and walked backward slowly, then he waved a hand at you with a shy grin. “I’ll be right back.” 

You nodded and watched him dash to his friends. They cheered for him as one of them played the song and the other handed him the microphone. 

As you watched him sing, you couldn’t tell if he was drunk or not. He seemed to blend in with his friends, and it looked so funny that you couldn’t stop smiling. Heeseung kept looking over to you, as if he was singing for you. With just that song, you felt like Christmas was still here. 

By watching him and knowing he’s in your presence, your face was clouded by something you didn’t recognize. Whatever that may be, you found yourself a bit calm from his smile, a bit unguarded from the way he talked, and a bit in love from that closeness earlier. You wouldn’t allow yourself to hold back anything else now because his words seemed to always be right. 

You applauded as the whole room cheered. One of his friends was announcing how soon the new year was going to be. Heeseung made his way back to you, just like his words. Your shy smiles mirrored each other. He didn’t sit back down on his seat because you stood up. A hand of yours hid in the pocket of your pants and the other, the one with the butterfly ring, held onto the counter as if you’re leaning onto it. 

“I always forget how good you are at singing.” You complimented again. Why is he so good at everything?

“Thanks.” His shy smile was still there when he looked down at his feet. 

Your eyes met again, somehow deeper than before. As your lips calmed, you wanted to take the initiative and follow your heart once again. 

“Say, what are you doing tomorrow?” You asked. 

Heeseung slightly tilted his head but his grin peeked out. “Why?” 

“I don’t have anyone to spend the new year with. I hope it will be you.” It was almost as if you were whispering to him when you confessed. Your words were slow and the silence between you both moved the same length. His chuckling nod said it all. 

“I would like it to be with you, too.” He said. 

Your sweet gazes were everlasting. You didn’t want this moment to end. How perfect it would be, you both heard a friend of his counting down to the new year before everyone else followed. Heeseung hadn’t left your eyes and he moved in close enough that you would feel the heat from this chest. 

“I know I said I don’t do new year kisses, but I want to kiss you right now.” He confessed, almost hesitating. 

“I think we feel the same way.” You played from his words earlier and he was amused. “Can I kiss you too?” 

“Since you asked so nicely… Yes.” He was teasing again. It made you laugh before he held an arm behind you and your ring-fingered hand gripped at the front zipper of his jacket. You felt breathless against his body and it’s contradicting how hot you were feeling when chills ran down your back. Heeseung’s nose could almost touch yours when he greeted you, “Happy new year.”

It felt silly to say it before it actually hits midnight and you almost laughed at the thought of it. The countdown was getting louder and your lips beamed. “Happy new year, Heeseung.” 

His smile turned into a sweet grin. You could feel his beating heart against your chest when your lips touched. His lips were warm, and they parted so he could give another smooch against yours. That kind of touch ignited sparks from your stomach. You lips brushed along with his and the venomous scent of his cologne made you dizzy. His hand cupped between your ear as he deepened the kiss and gripped your back tighter. You felt his hot breath tickling your cheek, fingers pulling him closer at the collar of his jacket. No one had ever kissed you like this before. He did more than you would, and you wished he wouldn’t stop, so your lips parted and kissed him a bit harder back, just like how he taught you earlier. 

The sudden loud cheers around you woke you up before you both pulled away, noses still close together. Your breaths were deeply soft and quiet. You both remained standing, arms still at each other. For a moment, Heeseung felt astonished by the things you were learning from him. It was worth opening his eyes to when he noticed your flushed cheeks. You both shared soft laughs before letting each other go, except your hand. He wanted to hold them all night if possible. 

As you both sat back down on your ‘designated’ seats, you had one thing on your mind: you should be doing this every year. Not the kiss because you couldn’t handle yourself, but the thought talk…

Just kidding, maybe both.

[boxjellyjelly]

Do you happen to have any headcannons regarding O'Connor and his friends? They live rent free in my head right now

Gotta admit, i do really hope they release maybe like a dlc or a short part two game that just focuses on the crew and their lives, because O'Connor and Gibbo, despite having only a few lines actually seem like they have lots of cool lore! Especially Gibbo (him talking about beasts, flashing lights etc)

Anyways! Heres a few headcanons of Gibbo, O'Connor, Trots, Finlay and Caz! **SPOILERS!!**

O'Connor

- i think lots of people think Mary is O'Connors wife, but I actually think hes talking about his daughter! Someone on the SWTD reddit said the ones who turn into The Shape are sort of traumatized or broken in some way, and the shape seems to lure/sedate its victims by making it think someone they care about is talking to them, so my mind immediately goes to O'Connor had a wife who either died or left and Mary is all he has. Poor guy :(

- I feel like he would be the type to go up to Trots when they first meet and ask if he can "see how blind" Trots is by trying on his glasses lol (he means well though!!)

- Poor man has night terrors like nobodies business. I like to think hes had night terrors the week leading up to what happens in the game about The Shape, but in very vague ways. Has probably told Trots or Gibbo about them as a joke.

Gibbo

- Again, a lot of people on reddit speculate that people who are traumatized or broken, I think his father left him or maybe just isnt a very great guy, since he tells Caz to tell his mom he'll be home soon, and since his ramblings sometimes sound like something an angry/neglectful father would say to a kid. I think Gibbo def gives off mamas boy vibes

- BIG. OLE. SOFTIE!!!! Definitely is the one who hung up all the christmas decor, and helped Dobbie with decorating their shared cabin.

- Definitely has seen some weird shit that Rennick has told him to stuff down, the "flashing lights" in the ocean, creatures that come up that he chalks up to being weird sea creatures so he can sleep peacefully at night

- I feel like in a weird way, he would survive the explosion and make his way to the main land, maybe to see his mom again or to try an find help

Trots

- I personally fucking adore Trots, he feels like the dad friend of the crew, the type that goes up to the crew when Rennick is up their asses and tells them to stand up for what they think is right.

- Always making passive aggressive comments around Rennick, Caz and Roy are always having to break the two up when they get into heavily heated arguements

- In his infected form, i think it shows a lot about the stresses he has as a union person and as a person in general. He feels like hes always having to clean up peoples messes, make sure things are working the way he should be, I feel like he puts on a composed face infront of everybody but is heavily stressed by his duties to keep everyone from getting killed

- I think he likes melancholy music :] soft and sad tunes that you can take a nap to while it rains outside

Finlay

- Can throw back shots like nobodies business, Caz and Muir are constantly doing drinking games with her and she always wins (though the hangover afterwards for her is more of a lose than anything)

- Constantly messing with Addair by getting into political battles and not giving him any satisfaction in seeing her get angry or anything, will sometimes just throw in random hyper-exaggerated takes to see him get mad

- As we seen from the paper, an absolute fucking wizard at darts, like, to the point where if shes drunk as all hell shes still able to hit multiple middles in a row

- Has nightmares too, but about her son. I cant imagine how hard it was for her to make it past the Shape hearing her son singing and calling out to her :((

- I feel like shes also pretty close with Roy, goes out for smoke breaks with him and stuff like that

Caz

- Double jointed. Maybe im just projecting onto him but the way his legs hurt from like THE SMALLEST OF FALLS is some double jointed problems shit. That being said, he totally does that bending-finger-back party trick for the crew, Trots tries to warn him against doing it but the look of disgust and suprise on the crews face will always make him do it again lol

- Was accidentally the first person to find out about Muir and Innes's relationship. He caught them kissing in the mud room, ever since then hes tried to be like,,,, overly accepting to the point where every time Innes and Muir are walking together he gives them a thumbs up like a dork

- Keeps his hair long despite Rennick and Addairs comments because Suize likes it that way (you cannot tell me Caz doesnt like getting his hair pulled lmao he is WHIPPED for that lady)

- I like to think his afterlife is him haunting his house, i know that may sound shitty but i want that man to be able to watch his weans grow up :(((

[veala2]

“ᴅʀᴜɴᴋ ꜱʜᴇɴᴀɴɪɢᴀɴꜱ.”

✸ shanks n’ buggy ✸

SYNOPSIS - Being in a relationship with 2 pirate emperors is great, but one aspect that comes with a pirates life is a pirates thirst… no, not that kind, you dog!

CW - gn!reader, obviously there’s some intoxication on both sides, reader is explicitly said to be puking, Buggy is doing some dumb shit, shenanigans ensue.

A/N - I’m back from the dead (work), ready to deliver and slowly (painfully) write my next fic (Christmas themed?)

Probably the first to get black out drunk between the two of you.

He’s been a pirate for most of his life, and drinking was a pleasure he so stereotypically enjoys!

So, when you see his flushed face and goofy smile, you couldn’t help but indulge in his silliness. Letting him play with your hair or kiss you all over your face.

But… when the roles are reversed, he’s 100% on you to make sure nothing happens.

It’s not that he thinks you’ll do something crazy while drunk, no no. Rather, it’s what others would do that scares him.

Pirate bars are filled with crude men swinging their swords around, starting rowdy bar fights which leads to terrified bar owners and civilians to evacuate.

Yes he can take care of you with a simple look- his strong conquers haki coming in play- but he’d rather keep the chance of you safe as high as possible.

“Baby… baby, I’m fine, let me gooo…”

You whines fall on deaf ears, as Shanks adjusts you in his arms once again to make sure your head wouldn’t strain. He chuckles as he makes his way down the wooden steps out of Makino’s Bar, the pounding sound of laughter and drunk men filling his ears.

“I’ll let you go once we’re at the port. There’s no way I’m gonna let you throw up on me again.” He laughs, making you clip your tongue and rub your eyes.

“I didn’t even throw up on you!” You retorted. Which brought another chuckle out of him.

He can remember that scene like it was five minutes ago. Well, maybe because it was five minutes ago. He might be a little drunk himself.

Brushing off the warnings of having too many shots, you took your 21st and started to feel nauseous. Before he could drag you away before you hurled up yesterday’s breakfast. Which happened before he could even get out a word. Leaving him disgusted, but even more worried.

“Sweetheart, trust me, I’m not taking that risk again.” He says, planting an endearing kiss swiftly on the top of your forehead, pulling away at the smell of vomit, Making his nose scrunch up.

Shanks sat you down on the pier of Foosha Village. Rubbing soothing circles on your back, letting you take your course. The night sky shined when it hit the slow waves of the sea, a sky littered with stars. A calm, serene night he loved. Especially with you cuddling into his side.

“Are you feeling better, baby?” He asked, a decimal over a whisper. You nod, groaning into his shoulder.

“Good. Let’s get you home and clean up. And maybe apologise to Makino tomorrow morning if she catches us. Other than that, we can always outrun her fury.”

You let out a weak giggle, despite you still feeling not so great. He holds you in a tight grip, sighing happily and looking up to the sky. Allowing himself to indulge in the beauty of the night sky and the beauty that sits right next to him.

“Remind me to bring a bucket next time.” He jokes, landing him a swift punch to the arm and a goofy smile on his face.

Drinking with him has two outcomes:

Either you’re having good times! A couple of laughs, maybe making some great memories that overlap with some of the more confusing ones of drinking with him.

Or… You’re doing the most batshit crazy thing you’ve ever done in your life.

WITH HIM JUST STANDING THERE.

HELLO!?

When I tell you drunk Buggy can take over the world if he so pleases, I mean it

That man has no inhabitions, no thoughts, just a pure drive to do whatever the FUCK he wants for the next 24 hours.

You wonder how such a cowardly clown can become so brave by just a couple of shots.

And honestly, you can be the same way too. It’s not hard to get caught up in all the excitement and thrill of doing shots with a pirate group and almost ending up with a broken limb.

But MAN-

It’s a really mind boggling thing… Like, you could write a psychology paper on it.

“BUGGY, DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!”

“Huh!?”

Your shouts echo the inside of his towering circus top. There your boyfriend was, drunk off his mind due to some of the finest whiskey found in the Grandline (which he happily took), and placing his left leg inside the brightly human- cannonball. He looks back at you, confused but then displaying a goofy smile.

“Aw, c’mon, baby! It’ll be so much fun, just keep watching!”

The older pirate doesn’t stop himself from doing what he wants, and fully places himself inside the cannon, wriggling around as to get comfy. One of his lackies cackles as he reaches for a match, striking it upwards and starting the fire. Your heart only beats louder and faster at the sight of the small flame.

Of course it didn’t occur to you, that the moment that Buggy the Clown asked you to be his partner, you would have to be his temporary mother when he was shit faced on most Tuesday nights.

But, it’s not too hard to keep him in place most of the time. All he wants are some private cuddling, maybe some kisses and words of affirmation. And don’t worry, when the roles are reversed he’ll do anything to help you, too.

Unfortunately today, he decides to act like a crazed toddler.

Too bad he isn’t, it would be easier to wrangle him up.

“Buggy, baby, love of my life,” You start, slowly inching closer towards the red- faced man as he stared at you with lidded eyes and curiosity. “I really need you to step out of that cannon before you blow to infinity and beyond.”

Then there was silence.

And then there was laughter. A drunken one, slurred and almost high.

“I’ll be fine, I’m Buggy the genius- fuckin’- jester! hit it!”

It was too late, the match lit the tiny rope at the end, as it quickly rises towards where the gunpowder lies.

You plug your ears and close your eyes, not wanting to even look or hear the maniac jester shoot up into the circus top’s top, rip past the fabric and blast off again.

Oh yes… again.

[bluephoric]

ridiculously long list of larry johnson hcs because fuck you he doesnt get enough love

Tw for depressing ass shit

- larry is a tired clumsy airhead, and as a result he always has SOMETHING spilled, wiped, or drawn on his clothes.

- undiagnosed adhd, and probably a few other things

- both him and sal collect bottlecaps, they like to make pins out of cool ones they find, often trading them like pokemon cards. they have multiple matching friendship ones. on common ones though, he likes to flatten and paint.

- larry's mental health generally sucks, but when things get really bad he stops caring about his physical safety, often pulling some reckless shit. even when he gets hurt from it, he doesnt seem to mind. Times like these kinda scare him, and he tries to avoid falling into them.

- despite seemingly "not caring about anything" (as he puts it) during these episodes, he's still fiercely protective of his friends and tries to be gentle with them, both physically and emotionally.

- callused hands, fingers yellowed from smoking.

- big fan of gas stations when he's high, practically raids that shit. one of his nicknames is "stoner jesus"

- he's openly bisexual and flirts with random people for fun. its usually something light. dorky pickup lines, stupid puns.. he Never expects it to be shot back at him but on the rare occasion it happens, he turns into a giggling mess.

- he actually pissed off travis even worse a few times with it, I could go into it further but this isnt a larvis post so i'll spare you all. For now.

- his favorite horror movies are the funny ones

- he isnt much of a drinker, mostly around holidays and just to get a little buzzed. spiked eggnog and fireball are his go-to's. Drunk christmas karaoke is one of his favorite things (he's constantly giving sal secondhand embarrassment). 2 words, mariah carrey.

- For awhile he genuinely tried to be a good student but because he was so far behind and his undiagnosed adhd, the teachers started to demonize him. Eventually he realized it didnt matter how hard he tried, so he just gave up. The only subject he likes is art, so that's where he focuses all his energy and actually tries.

- skips school sometimes but lisa tends to give him hell for it so he tries not to do it too often, mostly just skips certain classes if hes really not feeling it.

- almost always comes to school high

- his room is such a mess. sal tries to help him with it but he has similar struggles. whenever ash or todd come over, it becomes a group effort and shit gets done rather quickly. luckily no biohazards, so its not like his room really needs a DEEP clean but still. its nice.

- larry fucking LOVES jack black movies, also stupid stoner movies.

- Loves the arcade too, You'd think his favorite would be guitar hero, but that's more for sal. his favorite is mortal combat or those car racing games that you sit in with the steering wheel.

- larry cant cook for shit, hes always burning something, it always turns out gross and inedible. unless he's stoned, in which case he magically turns into a michelin star chef. weird ass combinations, but it always turns out really good.

- despite being shit at cooking, he still tries to help his mom with it, even though he mostly ends up just being in the way and she eventually shoos him out of the kitchen

- he smells super musky, with cheap cologne and the faint scent of weed

- when he was really little, he had a dinosaur onsie that he would wear everywhere, very rarely taking it off until it started to get too tight. he was beyond devastated when he realized he grew out of it, lisa had to pry it away from him in fear that he would accidentally destroy it. She keeps it in her closet collecting dust. Its one of the few things she kept from before jim disappeared. despite it bringing up memories of what things used to be like before he "left", she couldnt bear to throw it out.

- sometimes when larry needs comfort, he sneaks into her room and steals it temporarily. on sleepless nights, he zips it over his pillows as a makeshift pillowcase, its one of the few things that help him relax. It's always put back in place by the next morning. Lisa has no idea, and he's far too embarrassed about it to say anything to her.

- the only person who knows about this is sal because of their sleepovers. One night He was high as balls and got paranoid, when he tried to sleep it off the fear was just too much so away he crept, into lisa's room. Of course he made sal come with him, he sure as shit wasnt going alone.

- when questioned about it, larry refused to answer and so sal let it go figuring he would tell him when he was ready.

- Larry Harbors an obscene amount of guilt. struggles with sh off and on, tries not to relapse unless things get really unbearable. to prevent this, him and the SF gang (primarily ash) regularly doodle and sometimes paint on the places he's prone to harm.

- when he can feel himself slipping into an episode, larry makes it a point to braid his hair so it won't get matted. tries to brush it and rebraid it at least once a week, but often struggles to find the energy and lets it sit in for longer. Not to mention, a lot of the times he stops showering which makes it even harder to braid because of the greasiness.

- has given himself a few amateur stick and pokes. They look like shit, and he knows it but he's still very proud of them.

- the ink he uses for it fades pretty fast

- he's also tried to give himself piercings, but always fucks it up so he takes them out and slaps a bandaid over it

- collects different kinds of flavored chapstick, takes a bite out of them sometimes when he thinks no one is looking (ofc sal has caught him a few times but has never said anything)

- after he first met megan, he was scared shitless. slept with the lights on for the next few weeks and refused to shut the door when going to the bathroom, insisting to his mom on keeping the shower curtain open at all times (he tried to act chill about it around sal and it kinda worked. kinda.) after awhile he eventually calmed down but still finds himself getting really nervous whenever him and sal talk to a ghost, though he would never admit it.

- has a picture of his dad in a locket but rarely wears it because he's afraid he'll accidentally break it. always keeps it with him though, usually in his pocket, holding it as he walks.

- Despite his general demeanor he's quite the gentleman, always holding doors open and really courteous towards women. Most people don't expect it just based on his appearance, but Lisa raised him right.

- also he's hot as fuck.

- we all know larry is a metalhead, but what kind of metal is his favorite? It generally depends on his mood but id say sludge, thrash, and doom.

- You're telling me this man, who is depressed as fuck and also a stoner wouldnt eat up some electric wizard? saint vitus? bitch, please. I know quite a few albums that would bring him to his knees.

- And I know I'm prolly gonna get hate for this but I notice when a lot of other people write about larry (AND sal), they tend to lean towards nu metal or just plain emo. And while I don't think either of them would mind it, The lyrics and vocals of Sanity's fall feels more reminiscent of death or black metal and given the fact that SF is his favorite band, I don't think he would listen to that kind of stuff, at least not on a regular basis. Ash on the other hand definitely would.

[heaartzzforcupidzz]

Bakudeku x reader

𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐬.☆

It’s was the 24th of December. the lounge of 1-A was absolutely dazzling. There was Christmas lights, everywhere, hot cocoa in everyone’s cup. but one thing that had you thinking was how there was only one mistletoe by your door. that was weird but you didn’t think too much of it as your partners walked out, sitting on either side of you.

you smiled and hugged Izuku before placing a chaste kiss on katsuki’s lips. “hi loves.” you whisper as the ongoing movie was still playing and you didn’t wanna disturb the others. Katsuki gave you a nod and put his hands on your thigh, giving a soft rub in tight circles. Izuku smiled at you and rested his hand on the small of your back.

after the movie, everything had died down and everyone was getting tired. you made cookies which they all ate happily, before walking off to bed, which consisted of ‘night’, ‘goodnight’, and handful of muffled cookie eating. you began to clean as you seen a tuff of blonde hair helping you. you smiled and continued. later on, when you finished you walked to your dorm and shut your door behind you.

probably no more then an hour later, there was a soft knock at your door. you hurriedly went to open it. as soon as you did, Izuku was standing there, his face red and hot looking as he held the mistletoe up with his scarred hands.

“ I think you forgot something? “

he said before pulling you into a soft, passionate kiss. your lips tangle and your tongues fight for dominance as you both kiss eachother harder. after awhile, you guys disconnected with a string of spit. you looked dazed but Izuku looked almost.. drunk?

before you registered what happened, Izuku was already in your dorm, holding you close. stealing a few kisses here and there before there was another, not so subtle knock. you got up and of course their was Katsuki. he held a box and gave it to her, his cheeks a fiery red. as you opened it, you seen a mistletoe innit and he kissed you as soon as he realized you knew what it was. his kiss was opposite of izukus. it was hungry, it was needy, and god, did it feel like he needed you? long after, he finally stopped the kiss, your mouth hugging for air, your tongues sticking out, and your hearts beating lavishly.

Soon he was in your bed to. you were getting cuddled by the strongest men that you’ve ever known and some how you still kept it together. Bravo to you.

next morning, when everyone awoke. they checked izukus room so he could wake Katsuki and Katsuki could wake you. it’s a little routine you all have. but when they didn’t find Izuku or Katsuki, they immediately headed to your room, thinking the worse. they knocked on your door and you got up, opening it, feeling tired and yawning. they were asking a million questions but you couldn’t understand one in your drowsy state. before long, Katsuki came behind you, snaking his hand around your waist and telling them to “fuck off. It’s too early.”

They all looked in shock before Mina looked beyond you guys and seen a tuff of green and black in the bed. she gave a knowing smirk and rushed everyone away before giving you a thumbs up. you blushed, knowing what she was implying and before long, you were back in bed, wrapped under Katsuki large hands and izukus hands on your waist.

“god, how did we get so lucky?”

[xo-zozo]

can I request more hawthorne headcannons pls x

yes ofc!! i only have one hc request left to post so you guys can start sending me more if you have any ideas

| tags: @urbanflorals @reminiscentreader @nqds @annamatix @x-liv25-jamieswife @sophiesonlinediary @lyrakanefanatic @thatrandomlemononyourcounter1 @fortunatelyjollybeliever @123letsgobestie @off-to-the-r4ces /

grayson is the one who does the photography at everyone's wedding's

sometimes when avery goes away for work she has to call home and make sure that jameson hasn't already gotten drunk

other than emily and avery jameson didn't actually have that many crushes in school

avery has a nice singing voice

not only are jameson's eyes really green but i think that they would also be really big

grayson has never actually gotten into a car accident but i can not say the same for jameson

thea and bex both really like sour candy

the decor in hawthorne house a christmas is always super over the top because avery like christmas a lot

during halloween avery allows the gates to be opened and they get a bunch of trick or treaters

jameson (and a lot of other people in the fam) repost edits of himself (or avery-)

at some point max posted her ranking of the hawthorne brothers and everyone thought it was hilarious

sometimes they all go to walmart or walgreens and run around until they get spotted by someone who recognizes them

jameson is supposed to have bodyguards and security but he always ends up ditching them and making/convincing avery to ditch her's too

sometimes jameson and xander get grayson to actually relax for a night and they go to a bar or something together

the girls always ditch the boys like once a month to go to a nice dinner once they notice they need to actually take breaks

everyone tries to teach libby and max how to play chess but they don't get it half of the time or they think it's boring

grayson actually kinda wants kids becuase he likes them most of the time but he's terrified to admit it because he thinks he's never gonna find love

and then he finally tells nash and he hypes him up (#1 hype brother fr)

avery is always overworking herself so everyone has to watch out for when she starts doing that so that they can remind her to

jameson's whole camera roll is just pictures of avery (that he's probably gonna post) and photos of himself because he knows he's pretty or smth

nash and grayson actually really like the beach and as soon as nash was eighteen they took a trip to florida together without telling jameson and xander

when they got back they were absolutely COOKED because obviously they wanted to go with them

max always makes sure that avery tells her every detail of her life while she's in college because max is used to the fact that something new happens everyday

max and xander are the masters of late night fast food runs (me too tho)

their favorite places are wendys, mcdonalds and taco bell

that's it!! love you guys <33

[dearanakin]

you gotta let me know - part 2

Summary: Eddie tells you what happened that night. You try to apologize to Steve once again, asking about his feelings for you. Christmas is right around the corner and the bookstore is the go-to place to buy gifs.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!Munson!reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff. Word count: 3.6k

previous chapter

You were still sitting at the table, listening to Eddie finally tell you what happened that night. He had a very careful tone, choosing the right words and explaining why you acted recklessly. 

Noises were coming off of his mouth, but it was all a muffle to you. You stopped paying attention a couple of minutes ago when he said "he likes you". He emphasized that Steve admitted he still cared about you, even after that. 

"He said he never wanted you to find out like that, told me he was waiting for the right moment" Eddie was holding your hand over the table, feeling your body tremble. "Harrington asked me, better, he begged me not to mention that to you. Because he wanted to tell you that. I just didn't know when." 

You nodded. You felt your mouth shut on a thin line. Too shocked to even speak up.

He knows you need to take your time, to understand what happened. To understand why all this time Steve decided to be away from you. All you could think about was that he actually liked you back. You felt like blades were crossing your chest, leaving a piercing pain all over it. 

And then, it made sense to you the way he reacted when you still couldn't remember what you said, or did back then. He was hurt because you found out he liked you, and you overreacted. You made him look like a fool in front of a lot of people. 

You soaked him with alcohol in front of too many people, yelled at him, and called him bullshit. Not only that, but you left Steve perplexed and shocked by your attitude.

It's no wonder he didn't want to talk about what happened. When you realized what happened, you didn't know how to react.

You had too many drinks, and you said too much. You weren't even sure why you did that. Were you so afraid he would actually like you? 

"W-what did I do? Eddie, what the fuck did I do? Why did I do that?" You started crying again, pleading. Your eyes were burning from the tears. 

Eddie looked at you with compassion. A look of pity too, perhaps. Your brother knew you wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose, but the alcohol made you too vulnerable.

"Y/N, you drank too much. Something would obviously happen. I mean, the least you could've done was stop drinking that much when you realized where this was going" He tried to calm you down. "You're weak to alcohol, and you know it." 

You nodded. You couldn't disagree because you really wanted to drink. You used your free hand to rub your forehead, squinting your eyes in desperation. 

"Does he ever want to see me again after today? I wouldn't want to see me, Eddie" Tears were streaming down your shirt. 

Your stomach was tied to a knot, and you felt like throwing up. 

"I don't know, sis. We're around each other all the time, and he probably still wants to avoid you. Unless you got a bigger plan" Eddie tried to be reasonable. 

Deep inside, he wanted to flick you in the forehead and call you stupid. He wanted to yell at you and tell you that you shouldn't be drinking your ass off like that. 

But the big brother energy was the only thing he needed to offer right now. 

Your only bigger plan was to cry out loud and beg for his forgiveness. Maybe if you embarrass yourself enough in front of him, he will feel like giving you a second chance. 

"I think you need to get some rest and figure out something later" He said, his hand still on top of yours. 

"Thank you, big bro" Your hand squeezed his and he mirrored your soft smile. 

"Just promise you won't ever get your ass drunk like that again. Next time, I'm gonna shove you at the pool, so you cool off" Eddie gave you a warm hug, almost choking you. 

Laughing, you pushed his shoulder and left for bed. 

 As you stood behind the counter at the bookstore, surrounded by shelves of books, the thoughts of that party six months ago loomed large in your mind. You were still determined to find a way to apologize and make things right, but it wouldn't be easy. 

The weight of your actions and the fear of the consequences are constantly on your mind now. And you knew that you couldn't keep avoiding the issue for that long.

You just couldn’t imagine how Steve felt right now. You wanted to kiss him so bad that day, you wanted to smush his face and tell him you loved him, and now you can’t even talk to him. 

Dustin came close to the counter, carefully watching as you were stuck in your trance. The boy waited for the right moment to call you, but you were still absorbed in your thoughts.

He called you two, three times, and nothing. He snapped his fingers in front of you, still nothing. He knocked on the counter, and you woke up with a snap.

“Jesus, does your boss know that you sleep with your eyes open during your shift?” He joked as he held a handful of books in his hands.

“Shut up, Dustin” You retorted, seeing his small eyes shrink from the amused smile.

“And she still mistreats her customers. I'll report you to him, Y/N” He placed the books on the counter. “I came to return these here. And I’d like to take a look at the new Spider-Man collection.”

“You're almost 20 years old, Henderson. Who likes Spider-Man at that age anymore?”

“A lot of people, okay?” He sounded offended but took it as a joke. “Your little big brother likes it too.”

Nodding your head, you had to agree with him. “My brother likes so many childish things, and I think he spends a lot of time with you guys.”

“He’s also friends with Jonathan and Ste- shit, sorry” Dustin looked sheepish when mentioning Steve, but you shrugged.

“Relax, it’s inevitable to talk about him. Have you two been talking? I know you've been busy with college, and he's been busy with work.”

Walking between the shelves, you looked for the collection of comics that the teen was eagerly waiting to read. You didn't see when Dustin was reluctant to discuss the subject, but he preferred to be honest.

“Uh, yes. We've been going out a lot lately, you know? Us, the boys. Even Jonathan. Okay, yes, he likes to protect Will, but he likes hanging out with us.”

As soon as you found the comic, you handed it to his hands, who smiled widely, waving as a thank-you. “Look, I know you and Steve aren’t doing well. But I think it would be cool for you to try talking to him again.”

It had been almost three weeks since you last tried to talk, and things got out of hand. You and Robin hung out together, but she didn't talk about him. She struggled to give attention to both of you, and she often felt uncomfortable acknowledging the situation.

You walked up to the counter, taking Dustin’s money. He had a friendly look on his face.

"I know you're an amazing person, and Steve knows that. It’s just...he feels bad” He said.

Everyone knew what happened, that was obvious. But should you explain that you were already aware of the shit you did but didn't know how to broach the subject with the man? 

And you shouldn't even comment about it with the boy in front of you, knowing that he would open his mouth in an instant.

"Thanks, Dustin. I'll try again." You just didn't know when it would be the right time. 

Maybe going to Family Video wouldn't be the best idea, but if you went to his house, there was a better chance he wouldn't answer the door. 

So you waited until the end of his shift, waiting outside the store while he closed everything up. Your body was on edge, your hands were sweating and shaking, your throat was closing, and your mouth was drying up.

From the outside, you could see how Steve kept a calm expression, careful as he put the rest of the VHS on a shelf. Maybe this wouldn't work, but how much longer could you put up like this? As he was about to leave the store, Steve ran into you. 

His body tensed, and he looked panicked as well. He held your gaze, still standing in the same place, trying to read your expression.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” His voice was one of surprise, but he didn't sound angry. Actually, it was far from it.

"Steve... We need to talk again" The tone of your voice was barely above a whisper.

He shook his head, finally closing the door. "No, Y/N. I can't do this right now. I don't want to" He was still reluctant. You watched while he went towards his car.

Holding his bicep firmly, you looked him in the eyes. It had been a long time since you looked at him so deeply, so close like this. 

"Steve, I know what happened" Now there was no going back. He stared at you in a confused way. And you slid down the hand holding his arm, releasing him.

"D- Do you remember what happened?" He looked hopeful, then your gaze faltered, and you looked down. You heard his sarcastic chuckle and felt him move away from you. "Huh, so how do you know? Your brother told you, didn't he?"

“It’s not his fault” You defended Eddie. It wasn't his fault, you needed to know the truth. "Let me explain, please."

He decided it was better to turn on his back and leave you behind. But before getting into his car, he turned his body to look at you.

"I don't know what happened to you, but that wasn't the Y/N I know."

"Please let me talk, Steve" You were already crying freely, your hands were shaking, almost begging him for a small chance.

He leaned against the car door, looking sideways, avoiding your gaze. Steve looked down and let out a long sigh. "Come in."

His car smelled like musk, and the essence he used to make the inside smell good. He turned on the radio, a faint music was playing, covering the silence. He looked at you while resting an arm on the steering wheel.

"I- I know how things happened, and I know how shitty of a person I am. Nothing justifies my actions. Nothing. Steve, I don't know why I reacted the way I did, knowing something that was supposed to make me happy. But I freaked out, I panicked”. 

You were stumbling upon your own words. “I couldn’t ever imagine it would be possible for a guy like you, who was considered the king of the school, to like me. I don't know what you saw in me, and I know you made a point of making sure that you like me for who I am."

You were too breathless to keep going, and then Steve nodded. He didn't understand why you threw a drink at him and called him bullshit. It was still stuck in his head, etched deep in his memory.

"Y/N... You called me bullshit. In front of everyone. What did I ever do to deserve that kind of response from you?"

The pain was so obvious in his gaze and in his body language. You shook your head.

"I was desperate, Steve. I was afraid that you had made that up as a prank. I will never be able to measure my regret. And I will never be able to explain why I reacted that way while I was so drunk."

He still couldn’t look at you, he would stare at his hands, but not at you. "I expected everything from you. I expected you to even kiss me, considering we were all drinking. But I never expected to be showered with alcohol."

You were biting your lower lip so hard that you could taste the blood. Timid, you reached for his thigh and rested a hand on it. Steve didn’t want to give in, and it was comprehensive. 

"I will never forgive myself for what I did. And I don't expect you to forgive me either. But I want you to understand that I would never do anything to harm you” Your fingers stroked his leg tenderly. "You know I love you, Harrington." 

"I've known this for a long time, Y/N." His voice was calm. "I don't know how we're going to deal with this, but I need some time to think." 

Despite his resentment, he placed his hand over yours, squeezing it gently. 

"I need to know if you still like me." Your voice almost cracked, and he didn't respond. 

Seconds passed by without either of you speaking. The only other noise aside from your heavy breaths was the music that continued to play. The way things were going at this point, it was easy to deduce that Steve didn't feel the same about you.

“You gotta let me know, Steve,” You asked him. It seemed like he was struggling with himself, like he was trying to decide if it was better to leave it that way or just spill it. 

He then raised his head and looked at you. Sure enough, his eyes were teary, and there was no hiding it from you. But when his hand let go of yours, you almost knew for sure what his answer was.

"I still need some time. Can we finish this conversation another day?" You just nodded. "Need a ride?" Steve asked politely, his voice was soft.

"If it's not too much trouble" You let out an embarrassed laugh, and he reciprocated, smiling sideways.

The car stopped in front of your trailer, his radio was still playing a low music, and neither of you exchanged a single word during the ride. At times, you would glance at him, watching the way he was focused on the street. His unstable expression was noticeable.

As soon as you opened the car door, you were hesitant to look at him, but you did so either way. "Thanks, Steve. Have a good night."

He looked at you and softened his gaze. "Of course, Y/N. Say hi to your stupid brother."

 You laughed at the adjective he used to talk about Eddie, and he did the same. "Sure thing."

As soon as he left, you closed the trailer door softly and watched as your brother and Uncle Wayne were both looking at you. They had curious expressions while waiting for you to explain to them why you arrived later than you should have.

“Uh, Steve gave me a ride" You said once you took off your shoes and sat down with them on the couch.

While Wayne laughed, Eddie was trying to absorb the information. 

"Are you going to tell us what happened?" Your uncle asked. Before explaining why you came home with him, you sighed.

"I went after him at Family Video. I needed to talk to him, and clear things up. And then he offered me a ride."

"You took too long to get home and that story lasted, like, five seconds" Eddie complained. "I want all the details"

You laughed, shaking your head. "I'm going to take a shower. And I need to eat. I'll explain more during dinner.”

You woke up to the muffled noise of Eddie's electric guitar. He was playing some Metallica songs loudly in the living room, hitting the notes and not caring if you were still asleep. 

Groaning, you put your pillow above your head and looked over your alarm clock. You still had about half an hour of sleep, but that went down the drain because your brother was being too loud. 

"Jesus, Eddie. It's Saturday, why aren't you asleep?" You ask as soon as you open your bedroom door. 

He's still wearing his pajamas, and his wavy hair looks like a bird's nest. 

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed" He mocked, strumming something on his instrument. "Why am I going to waste my time in bed when I can play?"

He was playing Master of Puppets, for the hundredth time. 

You rolled your eyes into the back of your skull. "Because it's the most decent thing to do" You respond. 

This time around Christmas, the bookstore will always be filled with people buying presents, which is completely ok. But waking up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday was torture, especially because it was too cold outside.

The only good thing about it is that you get a ride with Eddie. Apart from that, everything else sucks. 

"Come on, sis. Cheer up, it's Saturday!" He said it louder, and it drove you insane. 

You just hated when he was this annoying when he knew you were still sleepy. "If you keep that cheerful look on your face, I'm going to punch you in the throat" Your voice wasn't exactly threatening, but your eyes were shooting flames.

Still, that didn't scare him. He just motioned his body, like he was protecting himself from you. He watched as you sat down on the table, preparing your breakfast. 

"You know what? I think what you need isn't exactly called breakfast. You need sex, and like, asap" He mumbled. 

You snorted and almost choked on your omelet. 

"My God, Eddie. Just shut up and play your music" You tried to avoid thinking about what he just said, it was too cringe coming from him. 

But maybe he was right. It's been a while now. 

He dropped you off right on time, as the bookstore had just opened. The weather was pretty chilly, and it felt like it was about to snow at any time. You were not a fan of snow either. Everything about winter annoyed you, especially when it was cloudy. 

Your mood was terrible, and the first hour slowly passed by. The next few hours were regularly busy, with a few people coming in and out of the store as you helped them out. 

Some were trying to make you think about banging your head on the wall. You were already rethinking your decision to work there instead of just being a painter. 

Your brother told you many times you should follow that path already, but it's the 80s, so it's not really that easy. So, while you were saving money for college, that's what you had for now. 

You were so focused on the pile of books that you didn't see when Steve showed up in the same aisle, looking for something specific. You barely dropped them on the floor after bumping into his back. 

"Oh, God. Sorry!" You said it quite fast before realizing it was him. 

"No proble- hey, Y/N" His expression changed when he looked at you. It was kind of shy, but soft. "Are you too busy right now?"

Looking down at the books you were still holding, you would say so. But for him, you would do anything right now. 

"Uh, not that much. What can I help?" You look up at him, watching his lips turn into a slight smile. You started to feel nervous. 

"I'm looking for a few comic books. I'm thinking about a surprise for the guys."

Before leading him to another aisle, you leave the pile aside on a shelf and walk up to the comics section. You take a deep breath.

"Is there anything specific you want? We literally have anything Marvel and DC related. A few Archie comics as well" He watches as you show him the huge amount of books on the shelves. He seems amused. 

"I forgot how much you know about all of these" Steve said, feeling his face flush from the comment. 

Apart from what happened, he always felt some sort of admiration for you. He was always too fascinated by you and the way you cared about people and things. 

"Yeah, I kinda like Marvel and DC. But I don't really have the time to read them. So I just make Eddie sum everything up about the stories for me" You chuckled. You always ask him to explain every issue to you shortly. 

It was the first time you saw Steve laugh. A little timid, but still a laugh. 

"I'm thinking of Spider-Man for Dustin, as always." He started, and you went looking for the comic. 

"Obviously. I'm still shocked he doesn't have a Peter Parker costume by now." You pointed it out. 

He listed the rest of his order for you, and you offered him a shopping basket so he could carry the good amount of books you just grabbed.

You led him to the counter, and he gave you the money. 

"Thank you for helping me out, really. I just… I was never interested in reading these things."

And you wouldn't know that. It's not like he still knows the Ewoks from Star Wars aren't exactly bears. But he's trying, and Robin is forcing him into it. 

"Yeah, of course. If you ever need me, you know where to find me." You started to act awkwardly now. 

For a moment, you forgot that you had humiliated him. But he seemed to be going easy on you. Both of you are actually feeling awkward now. 

Both of you were holding a weird smile, and there were a few people in line now waiting to be attended to, while he was sort of distracted. 

You really wanted to know if he still had a thing for you. 

Before leaving, he thanked you for the help and gave you another shy smile. You were still trying to keep your cool after that sudden surprise. 

[male-body-swap-lover]

Time Travel Christmas Part 3

*** This was supposed to be out before Christmas but then life happened***

Christmas in 2023. Once again, I am here for the 3rd time, 3rd body. Living the past 45 years in my son’s body, well my dad’s body, or really my body has been an interesting adventure. This time, life followed the timeline I created when I was in my grandfather’s body, Roger Braddock the 1st. So, I did better in college than my father ever did, and we had more money than my father had in the original timeline. I always had a nicer house than my father ever had when he was living his life. I did follow the original timeline and married my wonderful wife, who I guess is my mother. I never thought like that though. It was never weird. I still created my children. My daughter and my son, Roger Braddock the 3rd, aka me. It’s weird looking at yourself when you are a baby, but you aren’t yourself, you know. I know it doesn’t make sense. The same thing happened when I was in my father’s body. It’s been amazing to experience this timeline so many different ways. I probably should have spent some more time in the gym, but such is life. I was in my den preparing for the family coming over for Christmas and looked over at one of my favorite photos. It was me holding my son at our first Christmas together.

God how things have changed. Yes, I did better financially in this timeline. However, I had one screw up, and that was my son, aka my old life. I pushed my son so hard because I wanted him to do better in this timeline. I always did well when I was Roger Braddock the 3rd, but I wanted my son in this timeline to be a doctor. I always pushed him so hard and it all back fired on me. Whereas when I was Roger Braddock the 3rd, I got into business and always pushed myself. I was decently successful, but never amazing or rich. I wanted the world for my son and apparently, I made a mistake. Not only did he not become a doctor, he didn’t become a businessman. He became a slacker, didn’t graduate high school, and now lives in a trailer home jumping from one temp job to another. He mostly listens to country music, smokes, and drinks beer. I still love him, but my god, I am embarrassed to be his father. Hopefully I will stay in Roger Braddock the 2nd’s body and never jump back into my original body, or if I do, it’s in my original timeline.  I’m not going to think about that though. I have a quick minute so I am going to lie down for a nap before the family gets here.

Ah fuck, why does it smell like cigarette smoke in here. I’ve told my son he can’t smoke in my house. I open my eyes and I am not in my bedroom. I look around and realize that I am in my son’s trailer. OH SHIT! I feel my body and I realize I am no longer Roger Braddock the 2nd. I am now Roger Braddock the 3rd. Oh this is exactly what I didn’t want. I never wanted these raggedy ass clothes and this beard. Who would want to be a poor redneck that gets drunk all the time. Ugh, why does my head hurt so much. Fuck, I must have a hangover. Goddammit this fucking blows. Wait, why am I swearing so much. This isn’t fucking like me. This is just like my son.

Oh my God! I’m starting to gain all of his memories and lose my old memories; I mean my father’s memories. Why would I have my father’s memories. That’s weird. I hate my father. He’s the reason I turned out like this. Tried to push me to become a doctor. Fat chance of that shit happening! I’m too stupid for that. That’s why I live in this shithole, but it’s good enough for me. Beer, cigarettes, cable. What else does a man need. When I need a man, they are so ready to come here for me. Nothing like a bearded, dirty redneck to get these young men to do some really weird shit. Fuck I love my life. Guess it’s Christmas so have to go see the ole parents. Can’t wait to get into an argument with my dad about some shit. Better take a beer for the road. Maybe time to set up a Grindr date for after. Better light up before I go. This is the life!

[crushedsweets]

Hey! I love your artwork! I think it’s beautiful!!!

I just wanted to ask, what would Toby and Natalie’s relationship be like if they were able to start dating? I’m genuinely curious.

P.S. LONG LIVE TICCIWORK AND NINAKATE!!!!!

HIIII OK I LIKE THIS OMG i cant believe i hadnt thought about it before. ok i spoke a lot more than i thought i would...all under the cut LOL omg..

okay so, like i mentioned, they would probably have some random drunk kiss one night. maybe a christmas party and nina brings in mistle toe and its stupid. maybe new years party and the clock strikes 12 and they were like 'fuck it why not'.

natalie would have to initiate a lot of the starting conversations and touches. toby grew up with people thinking he was some gross virus roaming around, with boys pushing him around and girls sneering at him, so he's really hesitant. and natalie does get upset pretty easily if toby tries doing things without her permission, even if its something like doing her laundry - he has to ask. and he always does

it would start off pretty awkward too... neither of them know what to say, and both of them are so stubborn with egos the size of the moon - their pride knows no bounds. but at times, toby's ego can morph into something more cocky and he'll say stupid shit. 'you wanna kiss me so bad i know it' 'oh should i get nina to buy some mistle toe again' 'if you wanted to spend the night you couldve just asked'. at first clocky would get mad and pissy, and toby would laugh at her, and they'd move on. but eventually instead of moving on, one of them would say something like 'well.... do you actually want to' and they would. awkwardly, of course. a kiss, laying in bed together, brushing eachothers hair, etc.

their most intimate moments probably happen in the kitchen. that's always been quite the place of love for toby, so to lean against a counter and bring natalie close and give her a kiss in the warmest room of the house while something good is cooking in the oven ... probably means a lot to him

i think they'd love hikes. theres a waterfall in my au that they'd go to often, strip down to their underwear, and sit under. they'd wrestle and splash water and laugh and eat some fruit they packed and fall asleep under the sun after hours of just fucking around. kisses constantly swap between sudden acts of passion and excitement, to a quiet, lazy, quick kiss while throwing a towel over their shoulder.

but of course, they are still difficult. toby's reckless and natalie is picky, so theres a lot of arguments that spring up from nothing. this would be a constant thing until one of them eventually cries - something neither of them are used to. that would probably be a tipping point for them to start really looking into being a better person for eachother. but that is not easy by any means and neither of them are capable of being perfect. at fucking all

their biggest issue would be close to their canon shit.. toby wants to stay, clocky wants to leave. run away from all the bullshit she got trapped in. clocky is more likely to truly just fuck off and leave toby behind, and that scares the everliving shit out of toby every day - he'd swap between 'i have to be so good she'll never leave' and 'you fucking asshole just leave already its inevitable theres nothing i can do to change it'. but clocky just wants to live a normal normal normal life. she wants to grow old with kids and a career and a nice dog and to make dinner every night. she wants her biggest problem to be the dog tracking in mud.

eventually toby settles down, and while he cant just walk away from slenderman, they figure something out. a shared apartment, toby gets closer to the farm owners and he starts working more often. clocky gets into tattooing. toby is the first person she ever tattoos on. they both have to compromise a lot, but they can't imagine doing this for (or with) anybody else