#i think some stuff got deleted while i was scrolling

[jj-one]

A MODERN LOVE STORY.

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

when your tinder date who was supposed to be just a hook up becomes your boyfriend within a week.

pairing: han jisung x f!reader genre/tags: pwp, smut, fluff, jisung is such a gentleman, fingering, oral (m receiving), piv, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap), major size kink, slight daddy kink (not surprised), jisung has huge dick, jisung cums on readers face, i think that's it Imk if i missed any o_0 words: 4.5k

**old repost from my deleted blog

Dating apps were never really your thing, you’ve always been an “old fashioned” kind of girl. You’ve secretly dreamt of meeting your lover in a grocery store or bumping into them at a library where you instantly fall in love. Unfortunately, you can’t be delusional forever, your Prince Charming isn’t going to just come knocking for you at your doorstep. Unless…you find someone who can come to your doorstep but through an app, Tinder. You decided to give it a try and see what all the hype was about after your best friend Ryujin raved about all the hot guys she was meeting— and banging.

You often found yourself quite jealous of all the good sex she was getting, she could have anything she wanted all at her fingertips. You were always horny and looking for the next toy to play with but you decided maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to try and find a cute guy to hook up with and relieve some quick stress. You may be old fashioned but you weren’t too uptight to have a hook up once in a while.

You downloaded Tinder for once in your lifetime and wrote in all your info, chose your best photos, and made a silly little bio. Your bio was just ‘looking for a fun time, need someone who can break my back, not my heart’ you know it super lame but most guys like corny shit like that anyway. You swiped for ages and ages, barely giving anyone a right swipe because you were way too picky. They had to be top tier in the visual department even if they were just a one night stand, you’ll always have standards. You were getting tired of swiping and just about to call it a night up until you swiped on the next profile. His name was Han and he only lived 2.5 miles from you.

As you were scrolling through his profile, you couldn’t stop thinking how hot he was, his hair was blonde, and he always wore the same cross necklace in his all photos. You read his profile some more and saw that he has a dog named Bbama and you smiled at how adorable his dog was. You instantly swiped right after seeing the dog pics and you couldn’t believe you matched with him already. Your heart kind of skipped a beat for a second and you closed the app immediately. You didn’t think he’d be so quick to match with you and you wanted to message him but your pride got in the way. You figured he’s way too fine to even message you back, he probably gets floods of messages from girls asking. You decide to play it cool and not say anything, instead you took a screenshot of his profile and sent it to Ryujin.

She texts you back a couple minutes later and says she thinks he’s really hot, you’re glad she approves but you’re not surprised that she wouldn’t. You go through his profile again and see that he has his Instagram linked to his Tinder, you go to his Instagram account and continue your stalking spree. You see a bunch of pics of his dog, food, and mostly outdoorsy stuff. You didn’t figure him to be the wilderness type of guy but he was, he’s been hiking all over different mountains and has photos of him at the very top. You were in awe of how fearless this man was, you were swayed already by how he presented himself.

Your phone buzzes with a new notification.

‘Han sent you a message’ Tinder alerts you of 2 new notifications from him. You open the messages immediately, a huge grin plastered on your face as you read what he said to you.

‘Hi y/n’

‘What’s your favorite food?’

‘I’m taking notes on where I need to take you on our first date’

That was very smooth but also straightforward, you liked him already.

‘Pho, I could eat it everyday’

‘You’re already planning our date? lol’

You sent the messages and texted Ryujin straight away, telling her how much of a success this was already going. She tells you how much she was right all along and how you’ve been missing out this whole time, you just giggle at her shenanigans.

You get another notification from Tinder and it’s from your favorite new guy already.

‘Yes, how could I not? You’re a 10/10’

You smile to yourself when reading at that comment, you never really saw yourself as a perfect 10 but if someone this highly attractive sees you that way then you must be a smokeshow. Han sends you another message,

‘I can pick you up tmrw at 5? Dinner is on me babe so no need to bring a wallet ;)’

You bit your lip at that last sentence, who would’ve known someone this sexy could be your sugar daddy AND fuck buddy? Ok well maybe the sugar daddy part was just a joke. It definitely turned you on knowing that he’s willing to spend his money on you without you feeling guilt about it though.

‘See you at 5 <3’ you reply to him.

The very next day you’re in the car going to your date with Han. The moment you laid eyes on him there was a lustful nature that came out of you. You didn’t even think it could be possible but he looked even better in person, the pictures didn’t do him justice whatsoever. His jawline was insane, it was sharp and looked absolutely perfect from his side profile. His hair was a little messy but in a really cute way, he had a small silver stud in his ear and wore his cross necklace like the one in his photos. You couldn’t believe it was really him in your driveway, he had to be the most beautiful you’ve ever seen. He wore a plain black T-shirt with baggy jeans and converse, he looked effortlessly cool. He was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other was playing with his radio. He was trying to get the Aux cord to work properly but it just wasn’t cooperating with him, he decides to just leave it alone.

“So uh.. anyway is this your first Tinder date?” He asks trying to break the awkward silence.

“Yeah, actually it is,” you tell him “I’m not the hugest fan of dating apps but I decided why not give it a shot.” You say as your shrug your shoulders.

“Ah I see, well you met me so that’s a good sign so far right?” He asks with a goofy grin on his face, you couldn’t help but giggle at his quirkiness.

You talk for a bit more in the car and get to know each other, as you’re getting nearer to the destination he comes to a stop into a parking lot. He gets out of the car first and opens the door for you on your side.

“M’lady,” Han says in a funny voice, taking your hand in his as you get out the car. You’re loving his silly and fun energy so far, it’s definitely bringing your mood up as you had no expectations for how this would go.

The date ended up going extremely well, you both couldn’t stop laughing and cracking jokes together. Everything felt super lighthearted and easygoing with Han, you felt like you could say just about anything with him, feeling like you’ve known him for much longer than a couple of hours. He bought so much expensive meat for the both of you at the restaurant and the pho was fantastic. You’ve never been to this particular restaurant before as it was a bit too out of your price range, you were surprised when he told you he ate here frequently. You wanted to ask him what he does for a living but you don’t want to seem rude. You ate as much as you could and he definitely ate way more than you, lightly making fun at the way you eat. You do eat pretty slow so you aren’t shocked by the way he’s noticing that already.

You like the way Han eats because he stores food in his cheeks like a squirrel, usually that action would give you the ick but with him you find it quite endearing. Once you both finish eating at the restaurant he takes you to a pier where there’s pretty lights near the water. It was a nice day to go out on a walk so he grabbed your hand and led the way down the path. You guys talked so much for hours about any and everything, you talked for so long that you ended up watching the sunset together, then looked at the stars. When you looked down and noticed that you’ve been holding hands with him this whole time, but you didn’t want to point it out to Han incase he’d let go.

You’ve spent a total of only 5 hours with this man but you really do feel as though you’ve known him your whole life. He was so fun to talk to, handsome, and literally the sweetest person ever, it made you question how someone this perfect could even be single. You really couldn’t wait any longer for him to end up in your bed tonight and that’s exactly what you planned to happen. As the night progresses you ask him if he wants to come back to your place for the night. He looks surprised yet obliges and drives back to your apartment. It was pretty late at night and you only had your tiny lamp in the kitchen on, so you couldn’t see much of where you were going. You turn around to face Han who’s been staring you up and down this whole time.

You didn’t even have much time to take off your jacket before Han’s lips were all over yours. His hands roamed all over your body and yours were now tangled in his messy blonde hair. He startles you for a second when he picks you up and lifts you onto the marble kitchen countertop, not breaking the kiss once. He bites down on your lower lip slightly, making you gasp so he can easily slip his tongue in you. His movements were gentle and he kisses you so passionately, one of his hands comes up behind your neck and the other is stroking the apex of your thigh. As you both pull away from kissing, he stops to stare at you for the longest second.

“You are so beautiful y/n,” he says, stroking your hair and tucking some behind your ear, then he kisses your ear and licks it. He continues peppering a few more kisses downwards and to your neck, beginning to suck lightly, causing you to let out a quiet moan. He leaves a couple small hickies around your neck and kisses your lips once again. You tug at his T-shirt and motion for him to take it off, he does as he’s told and removes it from his body. You get a faint look at his chest since it’s a such little bit of light in the kitchen, from what you can see however, he looks perfect. When he comes closer, you can feel his rock solid abs, you know he works out but you weren’t expecting him to be this fit.

You go back to making out for awhile and his hands are now laid on your chest. He cups both of your boobs in his hands and kneads them through your thin shirt, he realizes this isn’t enough for him so he slides his hands underneath your shirt. He ran his fingers against your nipples and starts to pinch them lightly, making you moan directly into his mouth. He groans when you bring your hand lower to his pelvis, trying to locate his belt so you can tell him to take it off. You finally reach something you presume to be leather and you grab it, bringing his body closer to you in the process.

“You want me to take this off huh?” Han asks, pointing to his belt but all you see is his erect dick print through his jeans.

You nod your head profusely, “yes pleasee, right now!”

He grins at you while slowly taking off his belt, throwing it down on the floor and now he’s stroking his cock through his pants. You hear him groan a little bit as you can see him palming himself, wanting to take him in your mouth so bad.

“Let me give you head,” you say almost desperately, you didn’t mean for it to sound so needy but you really wanted— no needed his cock.

“Okay,” he says smiling back at you, “sounds great to me.”

You get up from the kitchen counter and now position yourself on the floor, on your knees. You never pictured yourself to be the one sucking a random guy off Tinder’s dick but hey, things just so happen to turn out that way. You unzip Han’s pants and gently pull them down, he was wearing pink supreme boxers and you expected nothing less from him. You pull down his boxers too and his erect cock springs up out of them like a slinky. Eyes growing wide in awe as you couldn’t wait for his giant, thick cock to go into your mouth. You start to stroke his length and realize that one hand won’t be enough to do the job, you have to use two to get a good firm grasp around it and even then it’s still a few inches off.

You contemplate how you’re even going to fit all of him into your mouth but you think of the consequences later. You continue pumping his cock with your hands and he moans lowly under his breath. You lick the tip of his cock and he winces a little, that must be his sensitive spot. You suck on the tip and guide your mouth to slowly take in more of his cock, keeping a suction-tight grip on him as you keep lowering your head. You get to a point where you start to physically choke and gag on his cock, your saliva was getting everywhere now, all over your chin, your chest, his cock, and some even spilled on the floor. You know you have to be a good girl and take all of him but you never had someone this big before.

“You have such a nice dick,” you blurt out while taking a break, wanting to please him more than anything.

“Thank you baby,” Han smiles down at you while you bring his cock back into your mouth, this time breathing through your nose you have a better chance at taking him all. You were successful and managed to get most of it inside your mouth, maybe just a couple centimeters off. You kept at it, sucking his cock like your life literally depended on it, shooting your head back and forth making you feel dizzy.

“Mmm yeah… that’s it baby… just like that-” Han moans out for you with his eyes closed shut and head thrown back, you’re making him feel so good right now.

“I think I’m gonna cum y/n…”

You continue what you’ve been doing for the past 15 minutes or so, sucking his cock at an even faster rate. You look up at him and give him a sultry look with your eyes, you need to feel his cum all over you.

“Please cum on my face daddy,” you tell him, you used to let your ex cum on your face all the time and you were craving for that kind of thing at the moment. You keep deepthroating him and making gagging noises in the process, wanting him to know just how hard you’re working for his cum. He lets out a long moan and keeps saying he’s about to cum, you tap his dick on your tongue so you can get a taste of his load shooting out and then… you suddenly go blind. Han’s load comes out so fast that it got everywhere, causing some of it to get into your eye. You couldn’t see for a bit and rubbed your eye, feeling a thick, sticky substance on your left cheek. Han’s cum was now painted all over your face, some even got on your shoulder and landed on the floor. You smiled at how much cum you caused to come out his dick, feeling awfully proud of yourself.

You get up from your knees and start kissing again, he brings you back to the counter you were originally sitting on and he toys with the waistband of your skirt. He pulls your skirt down and begins rubbing your pussy through your underwear, dragging his fingers along your slit and teasing you. You whimper as you buck your hips up, wanting to feel his fingers on your clit. He finally moves your panties to the side and starts rubbing his middle finger against your swollen clit.

“Damn, you’re wet as fuck…” he says, looking at your glistening, wet pussy. He circles your clit and spits on it, mixing your juices with his saliva. He then dips his finger inside your hole, you let out a moan as he starts pushing his finger in and out. The sound of his fingers going in your wet pussy sound so dirty yet so blissful. He kisses you as he keeps fingering you, spreading you open with another finger. You’re such a moaning mess and it’s all thanks to Han’s wonderful fingers. You were arching your back at the sensation you were feeling, his thumb is now rubbing your clit while two of his fingers are still inside. You wanted his cock so badly, but you were going to have to ask nicely for it.

“I need you…” you whine to Han, you don’t know why you were too shy to say what you needed the most though.

“Need what baby?” He asks with his fingers still deep inside your sopping cunt, you were aching for something bigger and it’s making you go crazy.

“Your cock… need your cock, please!” You practically beg at this point for it. Han’s smile grew wider as he saw how needy you were already acting for him.

“As you wish pretty girl,” he says, taking his fingers out and licking the juices off of them one by one. He takes his cock in his hand and rubs it along your folds, he feels how soaking wet you are and it’s already enough to make him want to burst. He doesn’t think he’s a fast cummer (is that a word?) but for you, he’d nut instantly. He slides his thick, long cock into your little pussy, making you audibly gasp in pain and pleasure.

The size of him is enough to make you want to never be able to walk again, but you think once he’s done with you he’ll be leaving you permanently bed ridden.

“Just relax baby, you can take it all trust me..” Han assures you as he continues to slide his length inside, your wetness mixed with the sounds of his dick makes for the perfect porn audio. Your legs were spreading wide open and rested on his shoulders, he was taking nice and slow strokes at first. He wants you to become more adjusted to his size, he’s finally able to get all of himself in. You look down at your stomach to see a giant bulge, his cock was so big that he practically took up half of your torso.

“Ready baby?” Han whispers in your ear, asking for the okay to start thrusting deeper into you. You nod as you were finally getting used to him, he goes a little faster and starts to build a steady pace. His cock is hitting the back of your walls nicely and you feel every inch of him inside you. The cross necklace he was still wearing dangled over you, which was pretty ironic for the sinful act you two were committing at the moment. Wrapping your arms around his neck as he moves deeper into you, stretching you out like the little whore you are. You feel yourself growing wetter with each thrust and he’s grabbing your waist tightly with both hands.

“Your pussy feels so fucking good… my god..” Han says moaning, his eyes are closed again as he keeps fucking your tight pussy. You took his cock so well, you were so proud of yourself.

“Your cock feels amazing daddy,” you whimper out to him as you continue moaning his name, feeling like you’re about to cum already. Han’s breath becomes more irregular and his strokes are getting messier, you can tell he’s reaching his climax as well.

“Let’s cum together.” Han coaxes, holding your hand while fucking into you, his cock fits all the way inside without hurting you now and all you feel is immense pleasure. You nod your head in agreement with him and focus on reaching your high. A wave of ecstasy washes over you as Han hits a certain spot in you, his dick is so big that it can reach little places you never felt before, it’s an incredible feeling. Your head swings back as you feel your orgasm approaching, you let out a few curse words and catch your breath. Han feels his release coming too and quickly pulls out, he pumps his cock for a little bit with his right hand and watches his load shoot out onto your stomach. He lets out an erotic groan as he finishes off his last bit of cum and strokes his cock a little more.

“Fuck that was the best sex I’ve ever had..” Han says while panting, grabbing your face to pull into you a breathless kiss.

“Yeah, that was definitely amazing,” you respond after pulling away, smiling at his first impressions of you.

It was now midnight and you were both exhausted, you two were too fucked out to do anything else and Han was way too tired to head home that night. You didn’t mind Han staying over at your place, to be honest, it felt pretty normal. As you both got into bed he gave you tons of forehead kisses and cradled you to sleep, his embrace felt safe and protecting. You never wanted to leave his presence and neither did he.

It was the early hours of the morning and the sun is beaming on your face through the sheer white curtains. You wake up to a familiar smell coming from your kitchen, it was the smell of eggs and pancakes cooking. You put on some clothes quickly to head to your kitchen, you see Han in nothing but his underwear cooking you breakfast. You looked at the clock and saw that it was only 7:04 am, how is he already awake at this time of the morning? You make your way on over to him and give him a chaste kiss, telling him good morning. He finishes up cooking and grabs some plates for the both of you. You couldn’t believe your eyes right now, your Tinder date that you just hooked up with last night is now cooking you breakfast. You want to feel like you’re living in a dream but the more you keep blinking the more real this situation feels.

“Ready to eat babe?” Han asks, handing you a plate full of food. You nod, still trying to process everything that’s going on but you don’t want to keep questioning it. You sit at the table with Han and eat your food. You both talk as though everything is normal, still making little jokes with each other like yesterday’s date. The food he made was pretty good and you were wondering what other hidden skills he may have been hiding. You’re now questioning what could be wrong with him since he’s so perfect, why hasn’t someone like him not been snatched up yet? As you finish eating you head back upstairs, Han follows you.

“What’re you doing?” You ask him, turning around to face him in confusion.

“Im just following where you’re going,” he admits sheepishly.

“But why?” You genuinely want to know why he’s considered still being here and isn’t fleeing after finally getting what he wanted.

“I want to stay here for a while,” he says while looking away at something else, he was a bit shy to ask if he could stay over for another day.

“For how long?” You ask, wondering if he’s serious about his infatuation with you.

“I- I don’t know, can I just stay for one more night? Please y/n?” He holds your hand, gently caressing and rubbing it.

You feel conflicted, on one hand you want someone you can feel connected to on a deeper level but the other hand is making you want to keep this relationship as no strings attached. You sigh as you see the glint in his eyes, his eyes were all it took for you to give into him.

“Okay” you say, he smiles as he hears your swift response. He presses a soft kiss against your lips and lets you lead the way back to your room.

Four days have passed and Han is still staying in your apartment with you. You decided you didn’t actually hate his company and that it was just the fear of commitment that made you reluctant. Han was different though, he brought a side out of you that no one else has. He brings you flowers, makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, listens to your problems/needs/wants/desires, shuts up when he’s supposed to, and does anything you say at the drop of a hat.

He’s the perfect guy for you and you met him on something you wouldn’t have tried if it wasn’t for your best friend. You’re still in shock by how you and Han are basically in a relationship now, I mean who stays at someone’s house for almost a week if they weren’t falling in love? You should be happy yet you’re nervous, you’re nervous about telling Ryujin, what if she thinks you’re moving too fast? You didn’t tell anyone about this “relationship” yet since you’ve never rushed into things this quickly with someone.

Han was a great person and you knew that with every fiber of your being, you just didn’t know if others would see that through just a few days of talking. You know you’re going to have to do it at some point since you’re actually thinking about getting serious with him. Han has been nothing more than amazing to you and if everyone else doesn’t see that then they’re crazy, you can’t convince everyone to like him but you start to feel as though it won’t be an issue for him. You think he’ll fit in just fine with everyone in due time ♡

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: I’m On Fire*

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Summary: When Joe mistakenly leaves his JB9 iced-out chain while at an away game, you bless him with a little photoshoot while you're hours away in Cincinnati.

Warnings: Smut

Paring: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Just the Two of Us

————————————————————————-

*No specific date for this fic!*

(y/n’s pov)

Joe had just left the house for an away game, and due to some work-related stuff, I wasn't able to go with him.

The pouty expression he gave me when we were standing at the front door just a little bit ago made me want to climb into his bag. His lower lip sticking out was oddly convincing, along with his blue eyes.

“Joe, you know I can't go, baby.” - you

“Please… I want you to go with me.” - Joe whined

“I wish I could go too, but I can't, J.” - you

Joe whined once again, but this time, it made me roll my eyes. My annoyance didn't last long, though, as he hunched over and laid his head on my shoulder.

“I love you.” - Joe mumbled

His face being pressed into my neck made his words muffled, but it was oddly adorable.

“I love you too, but if you don't leave now, you're going to be late.” - you

I laughed when he stood up straight and groaned.

“I'm gonna be so lonely by myself in my hotel room tonight.” - Joe

“We can Facetime, goofball.” - you

“Not the same.” - Joe whined

“Okay, enough whining. Goodbye, Joe.” - you

Joe stared at me for a few seconds, trying to come up with a response that didn't show how annoyed he really was.

“Bye…” - Joe mumbled

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Joe’s lips. When I pulled away, I giggled at the look of his flushed cheeks.

“Love you, sheisty.” - you

“Love you too.” - Joe grinned

——

Hours later, I was bored out of my mind, all alone in this big house.

I had cleaned almost the entire house, scrolled through Pinterest, made a dinner recipe I had pinned, and finished a show I had been binging - Fool Me Once.

There was pretty much nothing to do.

All I was doing right now was lying in bed, watching the ceiling fan turn, and feeling kinda sad when I got a whiff of Joe’s scent off of his pillow.

I missed him, and I saw him just hours ago.

That's what happens when your boyfriend turns into your best friend, I guess.

Joe’s game wasn't till tomorrow, but they'd probably just landed at their destination.

Maybe I should text him?

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I made up my mind and texted Joe.

hiiii

Ew, no. Sounds desperate.

What am I even talking about? I've been with this man for six years.

I had almost deleted my message, but Joe answered before I could.

HIIII! 😁

He's such a dork, I thought to myself with a giggle.

Wyd?

Nothinggg, hbu??

Do I tell the truth or make a lie to seem productive? In the end, I told the truth.

Missing you.

My heart warmed at Joe’s message back.

I miss you too. ☹️

Are you at your hotel yet?

It took Joe a few minutes to answer, but his reasoning was ironic.

Just got back from checking in actually. Imma head up to my room, take a shower, and then ft you.

Okay, I'll talk to you then! 🫶

Talk to ya then, I LOVE YOU! 🥰

I hearted his message and than sent the sentiment back.

Love you more, baby. 😘

The conversation ended after Joe’s simple but butterfly-inducing text.

Not fuckin’ possible.

——

We were on Facetime for way longer than we should have, but neither of us cared.

The call ended with the usual “I love you more” back-and-forth playful argument.

Joe won in the end, and I can't say I’m surprised because he always did.

After the call ended, I was just lying in bed, my head on Joe’s pillow, just to smell his scent.

I got bored eventually and decided to play around in the closet. Joe always forbade me from trying on his chains, but he wasn't here.

My eyes immediately widened with excitement as I opened the top drawer on Joe’s side of our walk-in closet.

Everything was cleared out except one chain, he probably took them all with him to have options for his fit tomorrow.

“Damn, this is heavy.” - you mumbled

It was the JB9 Nike check chain Joe wore for the AFC Championship in 2022.

One of my personal favorites out of his collection but too iconic to be worn again.

God, he looked so hot that day.

I stared at myself in the mirror, the chain of my boyfriend’s initials and number adorning my neck.

That's when I got the idea.

——

Settling into my bed for the night, I grabbed my phone and giggled to myself as I looked through the pictures recently taken in my camera roll.

Nothing but black lace and that iced-out chain.

——

Next Day

Joe won his game, and sure, I was happy to see him win, but being miles away from him and unable to celebrate with him put a damper on my mood.

I watched the game by myself in the living room, and then proudly watched his post-game conference.

Just a minute after Joe left the media room, I received a text from him.

Did you watch the game?

Of course. Watched your conference too, baby.

Joe didn’t answer for a few minutes, and I thought he might've gone to take his postgame shower, but his text back made me laugh.

I just got made fun of because I was blushing from your text. “You texting yo girl?”

What did you say back? 😂

I proudly said yes. 😁

A few seconds passed before another text vibrated my phone.

Hey, I gotta go shower, though. We're set to get home late tonight, so don't wait up on me.

What if I want to?

You'll wake up with me next to you in the morning either way, so no need to wait for me to get back.

He was right, so I left him alone to go shower.

——

It was around ten o'clock, and Joe had texted me just a little bit ago, saying they were on the bus to the airport.

Out of nowhere, with no context or caption with it, I sent Joe my little experiment earlier.

Attachment: 10 images

When I was left alone with Joe’s chain earlier, I took a little photo shoot with some black lace lingerie and Joe’s chain.

He'd usually take a power nap on his way to the plane, so I was surprised when his response was quick.

Joe sent a picture of himself with his eyes wide and mouth dropped open in shock.

The silly reaction picture made me giggle, but I had no idea that Joe had just pulled his bag onto his lap while on the bus in an attempt to hide the stirring between his legs.

Fucking shit, y/n. I'm getting so hard right now that I might have to rub one out on the plane.

No. 😘

Wdym, no?

How do I word this?

You always get pissed when I get off without you, how about a taste of your own medicine?

I don't get pissed…

Joe, honey.

Please, baby.

No.

Joe sighed and put his phone on his chest, discreetly slipping his hand down his sweatpants to rearrange the erection in his boxers. He's so hard just from the sight of nothing but lingerie and his initials in the form of diamonds on your body.

He so wished he was with you, inside you.

——

When Joe got home, it was really late.

You were already sleeping, so when Joe slipped into the bedroom he made sure to be quiet.

Joe stood there for a few seconds, just admiring how peaceful you looked while sleeping.

A small smile found its way onto his face when he noticed you were wearing his t-shirt and snuggled onto his pillow instead of yours.

After staring for a lot longer than he anticipated, Joe put his bag down and took his sweatshirt off before crawling into bed beside you.

You stirred for a bit, feeling the presence of someone else near you. After moving around for a bit, you were met with a hard chest, but you knew it all too well.

Joe grinned to himself when you snuggled into him, your face against his pec. He ran his fingers through your hair, and soon, you were peacefully sleeping again.

Feeling tired but unable to sleep, Joe discreetly grabbed his phone to see the messages he wasn't able to answer on the plane and his drive home.

You sent him a video?

Joe made sure his volume was down before pressing play on the video. His eyes went wide when he was met with the sight of you fingering yourself.

All at once, Joe’s heart rate picked up, he started sweating, and his cock stirred in his sweatpants.

He didn't need volume to know you were moaning his name with each thrust of your fingers. Joe was able to read your lips.

The sight of your head thrown back, bare chest, and your sweet heat swallowing your fingers had Joe fully erect in a matter of a minute.

He needed you badly.

Joe can admit he was thinking with his dick and not his brain when he shook you awake. In his defense, most of his blood supply was in the wrong head.

“Joey?” - you mumbled

“Shit- sorry I woke you up…” - Joe

“I missed you…” - you

His heart fluttered, and he hoped you wouldn't shift around and feel him. Please just go back to sleep.

In all honesty, Joe felt guilty waking you up with his sexual needs in mind. He felt horrible and selfish.

“Missed you too, baby.” - Joe

You moved around and Joe’s eyes went wide. Please don't feel it. Please don't feel it.

Abruptly, you paused your shifting and looked up at Joe’s face. Maybe she just found a comfortable spot?

It was hard to make out Joe’s features in the dark, but you could see his piercing blue eyes easily.

Unbeknownst to Joe, you'd felt his hard-on as soon as he got it, but you wanted to mess with him, make him beg for it.

Slowly, you reached your hand out and palmed his bulge. Joe bit his lower lip to stop an audible reaction as you started rubbing him.

“He missed me too, huh?” - you giggle

“Fuck- so much.” - Joe

“Take your pants off, Joe.” - You

Joe shed his pants and boxers off faster than the speed of light, all because his girl asked.

Now that he was completely free from restraint, Joe got even harder, and he didn't think that was possible.

You spit into your hand and firmly grasped his cock, a plan forming in your mind as you started to jerk him off.

Joe was a groaning mess, relishing in the feel of your hand around his length because he'd needed this for days.

Precum was beading at Joe’s tip, so you maneuvered yourself around to take him into your mouth.

“Sh-it.” - Joe moaned

He was close, so close.

“Baby- I'm gonna… cum!” - Joe

You pulled off of him, trying to follow your plan of edging him until he couldn't help but beg for you to finish him off, but Joe was too close to stop his inevitable orgasm.

With a loud moan, Joe shot his load onto your face, some making it into your mouth.

Both of you were surprised when it happened, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“I- I'm sorry…” - Joe

“No, don't be.” - you

You reached out and put a hand on his chest, rubbing comforting circles on it.

He grabbed a tissue off of his nightstand and wiped his cum off of your face.

“That was kinda embarrassing…” - Joe

“Why?” - you

Your voice was soft, a little sad yourself that Joe felt embarrassed.

“I don't know, I couldn't stop it from happening, but it happened so fast. Like under three minutes? That's embarrassing.” - Joe

“Joe, don't be embarrassed. How long you last doesn't matter to me at all, I just wanna make you feel good.” - you

He nodded but bit the insides of his cheeks.

“I think it's kinda hot that I can get you off that fast. Makes me feel good about myself.” - you

“Really? You don't think it's funny or embarrassing?” - Joe

“No, baby.” - you

You leaned up and pressed a big kiss to Joe’s lips, one of his legs slotting between yours, causing you to grind down onto his thigh.

“Mmm, Joey baby.” - you moaned

“That's it.” - Joe

——

Next Morning

You woke up with a grin on your face as you replayed last night's events in your mind.

Joe had gotten you off twice with his fingers and tongue before he filled you up with his thick cock.

In the back of his mind, he was still feeling a little self-conscious about his first orgasm of the night, but he wouldn't let it show.

When you two were in the shower cleaning up, you could tell something was on Joe’s mind and that something was what had happened earlier.

Without saying anything, you dropped to your knees when his back was to you. He turned around and looked down at you, his dick stirring to life at the all-too-familiar position.

Despite the fact you two had just gone four rounds, Joe’s craving for you was never-ending.

You'd slowly reached out to stroke him, and you finished him off with your mouth.

He manhandled you back to your feet before pressing you against the shower wall.

“If you want me to stop, I will, but you started this.” - Joe

The feel of his thick length against your behind, and his hands holding you in place was getting you worked up all over again.

“Fuck me, Joey.” - you

You two ended the night giggling in bed as you counted up the number of orgasms shared between you two that night.

“Four for me, four for you, gah-lee!” - Joe

“I’m not gonna be able to walk tomorrow morning.” - you

“Fuck I might even have a limp.” - Joe

You were pulled out of your fantasies when Joe walked into the bedroom. Toes curled at the sweet sight of him.

Joe wore nothing but a bashful smile, a pair of sweatpants, and raging bedhead.

“Hi.” - you smiled

“Hi. How'd you sleep?” - Joe

“Good. Get in bed with me?” - you

He did as you asked and curled up in bed beside you, pulling you into his chest in the process.

“Where were you?” - you

“Uh… nowhere…” - Joe

You sat up and looked at him, giving him a skeptical look as you narrowed your eyes at him.

Joe sighed and broke your eye contact.

“I was doing something downstairs. It was supposed to be a surprise after you got ready, but you can come downstairs now.” - Joe

You excitedly jumped out of Joe’s arms and ran out of the bedroom, your hand grabbing his as he followed you.

When you two got downstairs, you saw the dining table set up like a date. Breakfast on both of the plates and a bouquet of roses between them.

Joe walked away from you for a second and grabbed a rose.

He walked back up to you and held the flower in front of his bare chest.

“Go on a date with me?” - Joe

You grinned at your boyfriend so big that your cheeks hurt.

“Of course.” - you

Joe handed the single rose to you, and you stood up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his smooth cheek.

“Thank god, woulda been really awkward if you said no.” - Joe

“I'd never say no to you.” - you laughed

The blush on his cheeks went deep, almost to the shade of the rose he gave you.

You spent the rest of the morning laughing with the handsome man you loved so deeply, wondering about how you got so lucky, and thinking about your future with him.

You were so grateful to have a man you could laugh with, share secrets with, tell all the drama to, and have intense intimate moments with. Sometimes, all within the same day or hour.

It was scary to realize how much of yourself you put in Joe’s hands, but you trusted him more than anything.

The sweet thoughts and realizations were swirling in your mind and making you smile. You'd been staring out of the window, but your thoughts were abruptly interrupted…

*BURP*

Your wide eyes snapped over to Joe, who was holding a hand over his mouth and shared the same wide-eyed look.

“Sorry, didn't expect it to be that loud.” - Joe laughed

“Gosh, I love you.” - you laughed along with him

————————————————————————-

Authors note: GOT IT OUT BEFORE MONDAY! 😆

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! ��️❤️

[gigidragonbbxxx]

The Dark Side of Loass + motivation

I was on my daily reddit scroll while sipping my morning coffee when I saw something extremely disgusting on my homepage.

It was a manifestation success story by a man who claimed to have manifested his "perfect" gf - the kicker? She's underaged and he is a fully grown man.

The post has been deleted but the original poster's account is still up, as is his comment history. In his comments he details how he essentially used SATS and shot a message to someone he saw in discord. Apparently she is 15, lives with him due to an abusive situation, and yes they are s******y active. Apparently he treats her very well (he even mentioned bringing her to school YUCK) and buys her a lot of stuff and she's happy.

Let me make this clear:

a girl in an abusive home situation is not "saved" by an adult man taking advantage of it in the guise of "improving" her life situation while subjecting her to doing physical things she cannot consent to because she is not a damn adult.

I did some digging and it was not very long until I saw his first-ever comment about it and it was worse than I thought. I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt like maybe he visualized for a perfect gf and he didn't know she was a minor. Well, that says more about me than anything bc yes I found out that he had specified that he wanted her underaged. He literally says in the comment "specifcs that could get me in trouble". He made a lot of comments about her body, etc. and quite literally said something along the lines of "I'm her savior and shes my obsessed loving gf". Keep in mind...one of the titles this man used (he posted twice in diff subreddits) was "I manifested a s** s****e". So. Yup. He's a whole p*do.

I will not be sharing links as I don't want to give that horrible man any more traction but if you read all that and said to yourself, but Gigi whats that got to do with the dark side of the law of assumption? and why would you say there's a dark side to it?

The truth is that the law isn't dark at all, the evil part of the law is the people who use it for evil.

This is why good things can happen to horrible people.

This is why you see villains win.

They may have an amazing self-concept OR they just are under the assumption that NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE THEY ARE THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT EVEN IF ITS FUCKED UP AND MORALLY TWISTED.

It's why you see nepo babies who aren't talented get shit handed to them - THEY EXPECT IT BECAUSE OF WHAT? WHO. THEY. ARE. SO CHANGE YOUR INNER SELF. EMBODY THAT CONFIDENCE.

This is why I wanted to share that story with you, it is to motivate you: if you know you're a better person than that horrible man, WHY CAN'T YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT TOO?

Shouldn't you deserve even more for being good?

Stop thinking you don't deserve things bc guess what? People who are genuinely criminals are out here manifesting - so stay on your zoom and FOCUS. SATURATE. DISCIPLINE. COMMIT.

and let's all collectively agree to pray for that girl. I'm honestly gonna affirm that she gets saved and ends up in a situation where she is protected, loved, and away from predators.

Do not let evil win. Use it to remind yourself that the law is about BELIEF not FEELING.

with a heavy heart, xx, gigi

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

(Warning for rape mentions, this one’s a little heavy)

🚩

(So I can find it later)

AITA for hardblocking my former friend and did I overreact over a roleplay blog?

Basically, I found a roleplay on Tumblr while I was scrolling through some NSFW tags. The post I first saw that drew me to it was tame sexual fantasies in comparison to what I found on the rest of the blog.

Basically it was a rape-fetish blog, which on its own is none of my business but I was reading a few of their posts and something stuck out about them.

They kept talking about one specific person they want to rape, and at first I didn’t think much of it, but the details got creepier as I read. It weirdly seemed like they were describing me, or at least that the descriptions were very similar to me.

The girl they fantasized about had the same hair colour and length as me (as far as I could tell), was about my height (they were described as short and I am short), even things down to a shirt I happen to own, and a recent post described her smelling like a specific new perfume, a scent that I just so happen to have bought and tried a few days before the date on that post.

I tried to shake it off as nothing but the name was all too much. They censored the name a a letter then a bunch of asterisks (for example S*****) and the letter they used and the number of asterisks lined up way too perfectly for my own actual name.

Then I found an old post on the account that was a rant about how the user had themselves been sexually assaulted and then described the attack in fair detail.

That stuck out because somebody I thought was a friend had gone through an assault like that, very similar (as far as I knew) to how it was described.

I blocked and reported the account, then I blocked them on everything, from Tumblr to Facebook. They’ve been trying to contact me since but I’ve ignored every attempt.

Maybe I overreacted and am seeing patterns that really aren’t there? As far as I know that blog has been deleted off Tumblr, or at least I hope it has. I know that people can be into different things, and that being raped can make you want to take that control back, but now I’m paranoid that what if this actually happens, they act out these fantasies? I want to believe they wouldn’t, they’re not like that, but I can’t. I can’t contact the police because they haven’t actually done anything, and in my area you need reasons for restraining orders and all that stuff. Rape victims aren’t taken seriously where I’m from.

Should I have heard them out? AITA for overreacting?

What are these acronyms?

[wispscribbles]

hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha

i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart

ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!

but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship

these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy

but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33

((sorry for rambling))

Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD

Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.

I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.

It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!

I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.

But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.

Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.

Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3

[luvrhischier]

Hi!! I love your writing!! Could you do something with Trevor where you guys broke up and you see eachother at a party and there is a bunch of angst??

just about over you // trevor zegras

pairing: trevor zegras × reader

word count: 2.9k (i think at this point 1k+ words should be expected. i don’t know when to stop.)

a/n: hi !!thank you for loving my stuff !!! it means a lot

a/n 2: based on the song “just about over you” by priscilla block

a/n 3: i love getting requests but i will always be scared that the person won’t like what i write so once again i’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted

warnings: alcohol/drinking, small mention of cheating, and angst with no comfort, no part two

I stopped looking for your truck

Every time I go somewhere 

I don't scroll through the past anymore

It had been months and finally he was almost completely out of your mind. You didn't catch yourself looking for his bronco every time you left the house. You use to spend hours looking around trying to find it. Now you didn't even think about looking. 

You didn't spend hours scrolling through your camera roll, remembering how it was. The photos had finally been deleted. Erased from your phone.

I'm finally putting on the shirt I like

Tight jeans, big hoops with my hair up high

It was your birthday. It was your day. The music was blasting through your speakers. Your best friends performing synchronized dance routines when you got back with the drinks for pre-gaming. Laughter filled the air. This is what you wanted for the rest of the night, for the rest of your life. No drama, no crying, no heartbreak.

You started doing your makeup while Sarah did your hair. Jacob was pouring shots and Emma was digging through your closet looking for what you were going to wear. 'Birthday sex is the goal tonight,' she had said earlier and honestly you weren't opposed to the idea. Sure it had been ages since you tried or thought about looking for a random hookup but you had always been good at it in the past. You’d be a little rusty but that wasn’t anything a few shots couldn’t fix.

"And we..." Sarah dragged out as she did some final touches on your hair, "are done!" She clapped. You made some final touches on your makeup before turning to your three best friends. They all broke out in applause. You bowed at their applause playfully. 

"And now for the outfit." Emma smiled as she handed it to you. 

You took a peek and saw the shirt laying on top of the folded pile. It was your old favorite clubbing and bar hopping top. The one that didn't leave much to the imagination and you loved it. The jeans she had picked showed off every curve. The chunky heeled boots tied everything together. You smirked. Birthday sex was the goal and you were definitely going to be scoring tonight.

"Time for accessories and shots!" Emma held out a pair of hoop earrings in one hand and a shot in the other. You gladly took the shot glass from her hand and threw it back. Your friends cheered before taking their own. 

When everyone's shot were gone Emma, Sarah, and Jacob looked at each other with smirks. Jacob raised his eyebrows in question, and Emma nodded her head. 

"You know I hate whatever is going on right now," you said as you squinted your eyes. You watched as Jacob and Sarah ran out of your room like they were running a marathon. "And I really hated that," you pointed. "What are y'all up to?" 

"Don't worry about it," Emma smiled. "Turn around and close your eyes, I'm gonna lead you to the kitchen." 

You huffed before turning around. As she led you backwards you could hear Sarah and Jacob shuffling around and whispering to each other. Finally Emma stopped and stepped away from you then the noises stopped.

"Turn around!" They yelled in unison. When you turned you saw Jacob holding a cake with 22 candles on it, Sarah held a birthday sash, and Emma had a birthday tiara. Tears welled in your eyes. Your heart melted. They began to sing happy birthday to you. You felt so much happiness in this moment, you felt so much love. 

"Make a wish," Sarah whispered. You closed your eyes and tried to think of something. When you did you blew out the candles and smiled.

"Fuck you guys, you're gonna make me cry and ruin my makeup," you joked. They all put down what they were holding and ran up to you. "I love you guys so much." The group hug was a little suffocating but you didn't care. You all pulled away and Sarah checked to see if your makeup was still in tact. 

"Put these on so we can go get black out drunk!" Emma squealed and grabbed the sash and tiara.

"I'm sorry but she is not wearing the tiara," Sarah said as she grabbed the sash and carefully put it on you.

"Why not?" Emma questioned

"Because I spent forever on her hair and I am not going to let anything ruin it." You and Jacob leaned forward against the counter and watched as Emma and Sarah playfully argued. Jacob bumped your shoulder.

"What'd you wish for?" He asked softly before swiping a finger full of icing from the cake.

"Even if I wanted to tell you, which I don't, Sarah would kill me. You know how she is about these kinds of things," you smiled.

"Fair enough," he bumped you again before standing up straight. "Okay, okay come on you two. She's wearing the sash that's good enough, now let's go," Jacob ushered us all to the door. Emma accepted defeat. 

The walk to the bar was filled with laughter and linked arms. You couldn't wait, this bar had been your favorite bar since that night you randomly wondered into it. Sure it could get packed but the atmosphere was amazing. It felt warm and welcoming, but also alive and crazy and you loved it. You loved it so much and came so often that you even became friends with the owner, Will.

When you walked through the doors you flinched when you heard a loud 'Happy Birthday!' being screamed in your ear. 

"Jesus Christ I think I just had a heart attack!" You huffed grabbing your chest. You looked up and saw Will. "Are you trying to kill your favorite regular?" You punched his arm.

"I would never! Who would drink all of my bottom shelf liquor?" He joked as he pulled in for a hug. You knew he was right so you didn't argue. He bent down to whisper in your ear. "All your drinks are on the house tonight just don't tell any of the people who offer to buy you a birthday drink." You looked up at him and laughed. "Hey, I gotta make some money before you drink me dry." 

"Walk away before I punch you," you joked. You turned to your friends and huddled up. "Drinks on the house but I accept any and all birthday drink offers." You smiled. Emma pulled away immediately and put her fists in the air.

"To the bar!" She marched and dragged you all with her. 

It was times like these that you were thankful you had such a high alcohol tolerance because you didn't know how many drinks you had been bought, and honestly you were okay with that. You got free alcohol and Will got money. A win-win.

You didn't even care that your feet were starting to hurt from all the dancing, you just wanted to keep going. You had jumped from dance partner to dance partner, and you didn't feel like stopping. You didn't remember the name of your current partner. You didn't care, it didn't matter. Before things could escalate Sarah ran up and grabbed your arm.

"I'm so sorry, I know y'all are really busy right now but I need to steal her," Sarah apologized. You didn't even get a chance to say anything before she dragged you off

"Sarah you're kinda hurting my arm." 

"I'm sorry but we need to leave. Like right now." She pulled us all the way to the booth Jacob was at. You saw him gathering everyone's belongings.

"What why?! I don't want to leave. I wanna stay here. I'm having so much fun and I might end up having that birthday sex we talked about earlier," You smirked and wiggled your eyebrows. 

"Guys guess who's here!" Emma screaming while she was running over to the booth. When she saw you her mouth instantly closed, she must've thought you were still dancing. 

Now you needed to know who was here.

The least you could've done was give me the bar tonight

There was a group of guys, but only one stood out to you. His back was facing you but you didn't need to see his face to know who it was. Trevor Zegras. You couldn't believe it. He knew what today was. He knew what this place meant to you. He knew you'd be here tonight.

As much as that voice inside your head was telling you to leave, you didn't want to listen. This was supposed to be your day. You saw him turn around in your direction but you quickly looked away before you could make eye contact. You let out a big breath.

"It is my goddamn birthday. This is my goddamn bar. And I am going to stay and celebrate. I'm over him," you were sure of it. You had to be.

Sarah, Jacob, and Emma looked at each other, not believing you one bit.

"Are you sure?" Jacob asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," you responded quickly, maybe too quickly. "I gonna go get another drink!" You tried to sound excited, you weren’t convincing but before any of them could saying anything you ran to the bar.

You could've stayed with the guys, acting like you didn't see me

But you had to walk up, messing me up

"The usual?" Will asked.

"Not this time. I need something strong. Like really, really strong and please make it a double,” you begged then sat on one of the bar stools placing your head in your hands. You heard the glass being placed in front of you. 

"Take this one slow please," Will said. You stood up. 

"Yes, sir." You saluted, trying to keep things light and your spirit bright. You turned to walk back to your friends but you collided with something, with someone. You prayed to the universe that it wasn't him. You begged for it not to be him. But you could tell from his cologne that it was, the tattoos on his arm only serving as complete confirmation. You refused to look up. You just continued to stare and your now soaked top. 

"Here." He tried handing you some napkins. No, no you couldn't be here. You shoved past him and ran to the bathroom. 

I thought that I was moving on, but now I'm starting back over again

Why'd you have to come back in right then

Right when I was just getting good and gone

This wasn't supposed to happen. You had gotten over him. You were moving on. But now all of that progress and healing was being destroyed. All he did was walk into a bar and it started all over again. It was hurting like it was the night that everything ended. The night you caught him with another girl in the bed you two shared.

You felt like you couldn't breathe, your heart was racing, and your legs were about to give out. 

Your friends, you needed to call your friends. You searched your pockets for your phone but it wasn't there. You had left it on the bar.

"Fuck!" You screamed. 

You had to get out of here as quickly as possible. You had to make a run for the door. You could make it back to your apartment and use your laptop to FaceTime Sarah and tell her where you were. That was the plan, it was the only plan you could think of right now.

You took a few quick breaths before putting your head down and left of the bathroom. You didn't care if you accidentally bumped into someone as you made your escape. You only cared about getting out of there. 

Stepping outside felt like heaven. You were free and you could breathe again. You leaned back against the brick wall to catch your breath. 

That breath was quickly taken away again when he ran out to door, looking for you. He turned to you and you instantly turned to speed away. You made it a few feet before he yelled.

"I have your phone!" You stopped but you didn't turn around. 

"I don’t care. Go give it to Will, or Sarah, Jacob, Or Emma." You couldn't look at him. 

"Why would I do that when you're right here?" His voice was closer, much closer.

"Trevor…" saying his name out loud for the first time in months felt like you were speaking a foreign language. "Please walk away. Turn around and leave me alone." When you didn't hear retreating footsteps but felt a hand on your shoulder you wanted to scream again.

You must've heard I was moving on

You turned and looked at him for the first time since that night. The pictures in your phone you use to look at didn't count. You couldn't reach out and touch him like you could right now. 

"What are you doing here?" Your voice sounded weak and you hated it. 

"It's your birthday," he stated like it was obvious. You wanted to punch him. 

"Be serious Trevor, why are you really here?" 

"A friend of mine was here earlier and he told me you were here. Said you were drinking and dancing with anybody and everybody." He put the hand not holding your phone into his pocket and shrugged slightly. 

"You heard that I was having fun, that I was moving on and you decided that you couldn't let that happen?!" You scoffed.

He said nothing he just looked down at your phone and saw that the polaroid of the two of you at one of Jack's bonfires wasn't in the back of your phone case anymore. He turned it over and saw your lockscreen was no longer the picture of you and him hugging after the game he shot his first big league goal. 

"If you’re here to give me my phone, then please just hand it over and leave," you tried to sound demanding but you came up short.

He held it out to you. Your fingers touched as you grabbed it making you grab your phone and pull away as fast as you could. Fuck. It was all about to pour out of you.

I'm all about you

When I was just about, just about over you

I was just about, just about over you

"I was so close to being over you," you screamed. "So fucking close! And then you walked into my favorite bar on my fucking birthday. I wasn't looking for you and your stupid bronco every time I left the house anymore. All of the pictures and videos of you were deleted." You had to stop to breathe properly. You walked closer to him. "It's been 9 months. I haven’t partied in 9 months and when I finally do you decide that I can't?! That I can’t go out and have fun. That I don't get to finally be happy again. You decide that I should spend the rest of my life heartbroken over you. Fuck you! You are so fucking selfish!” You hit his chest over and over again.

“Okay that’s enough,” he said as he grabbed your wrists to stop you from hitting him again.

“I deserve to be happy! I didn't say a thing when I heard you were out partying every night for weeks on end, hooking up with a new girl every time. I let you be. I didn't show up and ruin things for you. Though I guess there wasn't anything for me to ruin. You were already over our relationship before it even ended.”

“That’s not true,” he interrupted.

“Yes it is! But I wasn't. I had to work to get over it and I almost completely over you and now I'm gonna be hung up on you again for god knows how long. You have ruined all of the success I made, I have to start over! So if that was your mission coming here tonight then congratulations Trevor! Mission accomplished!" You couldn't see through your tears. Everything was a blur and you were thankful because you couldn't look at him. You pulled your wrists away from his grasp and stumbled backwards.

You heard the bar door swing open and even though you couldn't see you knew who it was. Sarah and Emma came to your side. You couldn't stand anymore. Your legs had given out. You collapsed onto the ground and although Emma and Sarah desperately tried to catch you,they couldn’t.

"Trevor, I really need you to leave right now before I end up going to jail for aggravated assault." You heard Will say through gritted teeth. You saw another figure walk towards you and you knew it was Jacob. He grabbed you and pulled you up. 

"Let's get you home and get some sleep." He whispered sweetly. 

You were mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. You needed to sleep. You needed all the rest you could get because if you were going to have to relive the past 9 months. The pain, the suffering, the heartache. The crying, the screaming, the constant thoughts that you weren't good enough. If you were going to have to get over Trevor Zegras all over again, you needed all the energy you could get. 

[bennyyrabbit]

So there's this person on here @funnyshapedpuddles who did a "reblog with two or more fun facts about you and I'll give you a Sanders sides character" thing and I got Remus (understandably so) but I so. So. So badly want a thorough review from MORE fanders because suddenly I want a popular vote decision here.

SO

Fun facts about me are as follows (I'll start with the two I used for that person's post)

1. I spent around a year fixated on Jeffrey Dahmer in increments of 4ish months and 7-8ish months over the span of two years

2. I spent an entire total of over 24 hours tallying up how many new "Say No To This" bowigi videos I saw on tiktok when that was trending. I kept track by saving them all to a collection that has since been transformed into just bowigi stuff in general with most of the "say no to this" videos deleted (I kept the ones I liked most)

3. During that time period of my fixation on Jeffrey Dahmer I wrote not one, but two essays about him. Because I felt like it.

4 I named myself after a character from a Canadian show that aired on Disney in 2011-2012 called My Babysitter's A Vampire that also has a movie as the prequel (but I believe the movie did come out first so I think technically the show is a sequel/spin-off of the movie but wtv)

5 The last two summers (this one current and last year) I live(d) in a camper a few hundred feet from my house because I hate my grandfather and love being able to be independent while also having a stable fallback (like if it's too cold some night and I can just go into the house and sleep, or if I run out of my groceries in here)

6 I am a Scorpio.

7 The things I do most in the day are scroll Tumblr, scroll TikTok, and write porn with my best friend on Snapchat.

8 I dislike every pop tart except the cinnamon ones.

9 I own the Dan and Phil and Cats calendar and I cross off every day on it so I do not forget what day it is. It is the only calendar I have ever ACTUALLY used despite owning SEVERAL calendars that I picked out myself before. I have only ever actually used one. And it's Dan and Phil.

10 I spent somewhere between 45-55 dollars only on pink men's dress clothes then promptly actually cried when I put on an all-pink outfit and realized I did not have pink shoelaces, only purple. Even my socks had pink. My shoes did not.

11 pink is my favorite color as of literally the day I bought the dress clothes, which was 5 days ago as I write this (June 16th).

12 I saw a video on TikTok about a guy named Nik (judyhoppslovr69) being dead and promptly sobbed for two hours. It has been three days and he has revealed he is still alive. I cried seeing the video of him alive.

13 I dislike ever flavor of Gatorade except orange and lemon lime.

Thank you everyone for your cooperation.

Edit: please reblog for more traction and more votes. Thank youuu

[lowkeyrobin]

hello

First of all I love your stories like Trevor Spengler is so goooood!

I was wondering I was scrolling through your posts and saw jaeden Martell as an actor one shot?

I was wondering if you could possibly do a headcannon what it would be like dating him please?

Like a sfw version and a NSFW version please

Absolutely no pressure.

And if you don't do that sort of thing I understand lol

Have a miraculous day lovely and keep up the good work ✌️😄

yeah of course!! and thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying them! ; also I did see your other thing about apologizing for the NSFW, and you're totally fine, no biggie! I wanted to put this here too bc idk if u saw me reply to it before I deleted it ; thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

JAEDEN MARTELL ; dating shenanigans

summary ; dating stuff with jaeden

warnings ; language

word count ; 564

masterlist

literally a picture perfect duo

one because he's jaeden martell and two because you look so good together

both of your Instagram pages are filled with pictures of each other

honestly, yall don't have any haters, you worked on a few movies together, so people have been shipping you for YEARSSSS

every once in a while you scroll through tiktok and find a few handfuls of edits of you and jaeden + your characters

they're the cutest thing ever

you always like, repost and favorite them

it's so funny going back and seeing the ops reaction lmao

sometimes you do some cutesy photoshoots together cause like, why not?

always indulging into each other's interests

you two religiously go on picnic dates

always going on roadtrips to go see something new

you find all sorts of new little restaurants and places to go on Facebook (thank your parents for that one... it's an awful place but it's good for finding new things)

you guys met on the set of IT

it was so awkward at first with everyone meeting each other and whatnot

but after a day or two it was like you'd all known each other since forever

you quickly formed a special bond with jaeden, like just bonding over a lot of the same things and your feelings

people were shipping your characters but the interviews post it2017 and it2019 releases 😭 got the fans all over you two

you had a minor role in defending jacob but the edits of your characters went hard

same thing with metal lords, like 😭

you had about the same size role as hunter so pretty much a main character but your character barely talked to his outside of with hunter 😭

those editors were struggling but feeding

he was the first to confess, surprisingly

it was like a bit before he got the role for jacob barber

he took you out for coffee and a long walk through a park and stuff

thing like hozier vibes if that makes sense

bro became a poet talking to you like that

he couldn't look at you because he was embarrassed the whole time but you were staring at him while walking. like a mix of shock and happiness

you found a tree stump to place your coffee cup (he'd already finished his) placed it down, and just kissed him

cause wtf did he think was gonna happen? speaking all romantic like that like you wouldn't kiss him...

he's not a big pda person, maybe a 4/10

will happily hold your hand or give you small pecks on the cheek/hand/lips but nothing else

he's not jealous at all either so there's no reason for his pda level to just go from 2-10 at all

on the topic of jealousy, it's very rare for him to be jealous of you

he trusts you and it's not something he really worries about when it comes to other people

you're not that jealous over him either, yall got that healthy mutual trust

and finally, some songs that kind of sum up your little relationship 🙏❤️

cloudbusting ; kate bush

crush culture ; conan gray

bourgeoisieses ; conan gray

empire now ; hozier

wildflower and barely ; hozier & allison russell

too sweet ; hozier

lost it to trying paper towns mix ; son lux

thinking bout love ; wild rivers & wrabel

[fannyyann]

hi! I’m not really sure why so many people ship mattdrai, and I was just wondering what it is about them that you like personally? I’m not usually someone who can see ships unless they have a lot of “canon” content, and I’ve seen them only interact like twice. can you help me see it?

hiiiii anon! i like mattdrai so much because as individuals matthew and leon are veeeery similar. they're two sides of the same "yappy alternate captain who likes to start shit and is obsessed with his quieter captain" coin and from the interactions they have had on the ice it's very clear that they have FUN riling each other up and that kind of dynamic has always been my favorite across all my fandoms.

also, i definitely get where you're coming from with canon content but from a writing and creating stand point it's sooooo fun to not really have anything but their personalities and canon events to work with!

but before i link you to the mattdrai primer, and some of my favorite canon moments, i'm going to say something super insane and say if canon ships are more your speed you should definitely just get into all matthew and his teammates because there's sooooo much good stuff going on in the panthers locker room lmao

anyway, here's a pretty comprehensive primer for their ~lore up to November 2023 and a list of things not mentioned in it but i'm constantly thinking about:

that time leon very gently grabbed matthew by the waist to pull him away from mike smith

(much funnier and compelling behavior because darnell nurse comes in after this and just pulls matthew back by the neck)

2. the way leon is pretty well known for zooming into scrums when connor's involved, but has been known to just stand by and watch while connor and matthew get into it.

like here in round 2:

and then again earlier this season:

(this is THE most compelling thing about matthew and leon's actual canon, like WHY DOES HE DO THAT?? what's different about matthew???)

3. that time in december 2022 one of the oilers' charity partners chirped matthew in the comments of one of leon's friends & family puma sponcons and instead of deleting the comment, he just deleted the whole post (which, if you scroll through his feed, you know he doesn't delete his sponcon posts lmao)

4. and then of course, my favorite hidden gem, the fact that matthew got some of his game worn jerseys from the 2023 asg signed by all the guys there, and then all the guys from the atlantic team (8:05), so somewhere in matthew's possession he has a jersey he asked leon to sign :')

[eratolasting]

Magic (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Summary: Modern!Eddie. You get a tinder for the first time and meet someone interesting.

Warnings: Smut, semi-public sex, fingering, oral (f and m).

Beta Reader(s): @syddsatyrn @hargroveharlot @eddiesdungeon

MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY

You'd never done this before. Not really, anyways. The thought always slightly scared you. However, after some goading from your friends, you made the account. You loaded your most recent photos onto it -- the ones where you thought you looked the prettiest -- and made a quick bio to reflect who you were and what you were looking for. 

Then, the swiping began. Left; right; left; left; right; left; right; right; right; left-you stopped on one person in particular, your eyes scanning his visage. He was unlike anyone you'd really seen before, seemingly stuck in 80s fashion with his long hair and his vintage Metallica shirt. You swiped through his pictures and seemed to learn a lot about him just from that. 

He played guitar. He had friends. He played D&D. All things that were good and normal. He was a little nerdy, but that was okay. 

You scrolled down to his bio, head tilting slightly as you read. 

Mage Hand gives me extra magic fingers – if you know what I mean.

That was it. That was all he had in his bio, and while you found it funny and charming, you wondered if you should swipe right on him or not. 

He definitely came off as a fuckboy; but he was cute. Very different from anyone else you'd come across on the app so far. Finally, you decided to go for it, and swiped right on him. 

You continued swiping for another ten or so minutes before a notification popped up on your screen, telling you that you had a match. 

Well, it wasn't the first time it had popped up, but you weren't too interested in the other guys who had matched with you. You'd been hoping for the 80s metal head you'd seen. 

Here he was. Excitement bubbled in your chest as you opened up the chat to message him - but he got to you first. 

hey, sweetheart.

You flushed a bit at that, and bit your cheek. So, he was a pet names kind of guy. Two could play at that game. 

Hey hot stuff.

You sent back before you could change your mind about it. 

hot stuff, huh? You think so? 

Yeah. I like your whole vibe. 

well I like yours, too. 

You bit your lip and brushed some hair behind your ear. 

Thank you! 

you’re very welcome. tell me, what’s a pretty girl like you doing on an app like this?

Same as anyone else, I imagine. Looking for someone with magic fingers.

well you’ve come to the right place (;

You shifted on your bed, wondering what the hell you were doing flirting like this. If you continued, this was more likely to be a hookup rather than a date; but he sort of gave off that vibe with his whole bio situation. You didn’t know if you minded that or not, or what you were really looking for with this. Just -- something. 

sorry if that was too much. promise i’m not a fuckboy or anything. i just flirt a lot.

No, it’s okay! I don’t mind it. Tell me some stuff about yourself?

well, what do you want to know? anything in particular? 

What kind of music you play, maybe? 

oh yeah, mostly metal but we throw a few solid rock covers in there.

So you’re in a band?

yeah! it’s called corroded coffin. we play at the hideout on tuesday nights and if we’re lucky we get to open for the bigger bands on saturdays. pretty good gigs if you ask me.

That’s really cool! Looking for any groupies? :p

groupie applications are always being accepted. why? interested? 

Maybe. Just depends on how magic those fingers really are.

You tapped your thumbs against your phone as you waited for a response, more matches popping up in your notifications, but you didn’t really care; you were only interested in this one right now. After a few minutes of no response, you bit your tongue and wondered if you went too far. 

You typed a message, then deleted it, then typed it again, then deleted it, before finally deciding to leave it alone. He was just some guy on the internet. If he got offended by your joke then you just had to deal with it and move on. You put your phone down and decided to go about your day, getting some chores done. You didn’t even find yourself thinking about Eddie while you did your laundry or cleaned the kitchen. You did have a passing thought about him while you ate dinner, but being attached to your phone was unhealthy; so you didn’t check it. 

Not until you got ready for bed that night, and you saw that there was a notification from him. Your heartbeat sped up, but you didn’t look at it; not yet. You got ready for bed and after snuggling in beneath your blankets you picked up your phone.

oh they’re really magical. trust me on this, princess. 10/10 reviews on yelp.

You laughed at that, happy he wasn’t as sensitive as you thought. So you could fuck around with him; that was good to know. 

Glad to know the reviews are good. I have high standards for them now.

i promise they don’t disappoint. when would you like to give them a spin?

I’m free tomorrow?

tomorrow it is.

You ironed out some details and went to bed with a smile on your lips, both excited and nervous for your first date with someone off of the internet.

The next day breezed by, and soon you were getting dressed and ready for your date with Eddie. Nerves bubbled up in your belly as you waited for him in the cafe, your fingers tapping on the table. You were a little early out of fear of being late, but now you had to wait for him, and it was making you a little more nervous. 

Finally, after an eternity, you saw him walk in and look around. You lifted your hand to catch his attention; he grinned when he saw you and walked over to the table. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Wow, you’re even prettier than in your pictures.” He complimented as he slid into the booth across from you. 

You bit your lip as you looked him over, taking in him and his style. He really was different from what you were used to, but that definitely wasn’t a bad thing by any means. God, he was hot. 

“Could say the same about you, but I dunno… I think you may have been hotter with your guitar in hand.” You teased. 

“Ouch. I get it, ladies love it.” He nodded, grinning right back at you.

The waiter came over and took your drink orders before leaving to give you time with the menus to decide on food.

“Thanks for meeting up with me. I know it’s weird to meet people for the first time.” He spoke up after a moment of silence between the two of you.

You smiled at him, and brushed some of your hair behind your ear. “Yeah, it was.. A whim, but I don’t regret it.”

“Good.” He smiled back at you, and laced his fingers together on the table. You couldn’t help but look at them, your eyes scanning the various rings that decorated them. They were…really hot; and you definitely believed they were good at what they did, with him being a guitar player and all. 

He seemed to notice your staring and laughed a little. “Don’t worry, angel. We’ve got time for me to show you just how magical they are.” He winked.

Your face felt hot at that, and you turned your attention back to the menu.

The waiter came back to take your orders after that, and you thankfully got through that without stuttering too much. When he was gone, Eddie descended on you again.

“Mind if I come sit next to you?” He asked.

You bit your lip and nodded, scooting over to give him space next to you. 

He climbed out of the booth and moved over to slide in next to you. You could feel the heat from his body radiating against your skin and you flushed a little. 

“That’s better.” He grinned, delicately placing his hand on your thigh. You looked up at him and smiled, placing your hand on top of his. It was almost as if you had been dating forever. 

But you didn’t mind the familiarity. It was cute, he was so comfortable.

Cute, however, turned to something else as his hand slid between your legs. You didn’t stop him, just lifted your hand off of his and onto the table as your cheeks began to feel hotter.

So… he was going to show you the magic hands now. 

It was kind of hot. You weren’t complaining. Even if, normally, you wouldn’t let someone do something like this on the first date. He was just different; Eddie hit differently than some normal guy did.

Taking you not stopping him as a go-ahead, his fingers pressed against you through your panties and rubbed slowly. You gripped the edge of the table and bit your tongue to keep a moan from ripping from your lips. No one had ever touched you in public before. Especially not someone you didn’t know very well. Not that you were complaining; he was hot.

His fingers slid up and down your slit, just feeling now. Feeling how warm you were through your panties, how wet you already were. He shifted slightly, covering you up from view to those passing by. You wondered how long this was going to go on for; how long Eddie would be able to keep this up. Especially if your food was coming soon. 

His fingers slipped your panties to the side and the tip of one digit found your clit, slowly swirling around it. You clenched your teeth together, your toes curling in your shoes. You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were thankful that the din of noises around you, covering up the soft wet noises your pussy was making. 

He looked at you for a moment, before sliding a finger down to your entrance. He slipped it in and curled it. Your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned heavily against him. His chuckle vibrated through his body. 

“Wanna get out of here?” He asked you, his voice low.

“God, please.” You responded.

Gently, he slipped his hand away from you and wiped it off on a napkin before grabbing his wallet. He placed a few twenties on the table before adjusting himself in his pants and standing up.

You were quick to follow, smoothing your skirt out as you stood and trailed him out of the diner. 

He winked at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you made it out the door together. "Think you can make it back to my place, or should I take you right here in the back of my van?" He asked, his voice low, his breath in your ear. 

Your face felt hot as you shook your head. "No, do it here." You told him, pressing your thighs together as you waited for him to unlock his van. 

He chuckled and opened up the back for you, before climbing in with you. 

He shrugged his jacket off and tossed it to the side. You wasted no time dropping your bag and wiggling out of your panties. He'd worked you up quite a bit, it seemed. 

He laughed, but didn't complain, as you settled on your back against the pillows he had back there. He scooted between your legs and spread them with his hands, rings cold against your skin. Black painted nails scraped against your thighs as they descended; closer and closer to your heat. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his fingers found your slit again. They pressed between your folds teasingly, making you whimper as they slipped down towards your wet hole. He collected a bit of your juices on his digits before they found their way back to his lips where he slipped them past pink plumpness to find his tongue. 

You watched him lick his fingers clean as he made a low noise at the taste of you. Your jaw clenched and you closed your legs once more to press your thighs together, looking for friction. He was so fucking hot. 

He spread your legs back for him again and settled between them, bending to press his face against your cunt. You could feel his hot breath on your folds as he leaned in close, his hands on your knees. You felt his tongue flick against you once, twice, three times; a soft moan left your throat at the feeling. 

His hands pushed your skirt more, flipping it up fully to rest against your belly as he fully descended on you. His mouth pressed against you, lips closing around that tiny pink nub and giving it a good suckle. Your toes flexed out and curled inward as your fingers found his hair. 

This was the last thing you were expecting out of today. Sex was high up there, but being eaten out? Fuck you were gonna lose it to this man. This was only the first date. Imagine what the second or third date would be like. Imagine years of this. He was going to ruin all other men for you, you could already tell. 

Somehow, without you realizing it, he'd slid his hand between your legs and pressed a finger inside of you. He curled it while his tongue flicked against your clit at a steady pace. 

Your cunt clamped down around his finger as he fucked you with it, your hands pulling softly at his hair. Your back arched into his touch, moans steadily flowing from your lips. He was working you up to the edge already. You couldn't believe how fucking good his hands were. 

He added a second finger, his pace picking up. "Fuck," you moaned, pulling at his hair. 

Soon, you were shot right over the edge, a high pitched whine leaving your throat as your legs shook and your body tensed up. Your cunt milked his fingers, trying to pull in anything they could get as he worked you through your orgasm. 

You released his hair as he sat up, panting softly. You brushed your fingers through your hair before sitting up and descending your hands on his jeans. You pulled his belt off and tossed it aside as he chuckled from your franticness. 

"Promise, it's not going anywhere, sweetheart." He teased you.

But you didn't care. You pushed his jeans and boxers down his thighs and the moment his cock sprang out your mouth was on it, tongue and lips teasing the tip. The taste of precum was prevalent in your mouth as you bobbed your head on him, the both of you shifting in a slightly more comfortable position. 

His hand rested on the back of your neck, a soft coo coming from his lips as you took more of him into your mouth. He tasted good. So fucking good, you didn't know if you could even handle it. 

Your pussy tingled as you used your mouth on him, and you slid a hand between your legs to play with yourself. Your other hand came up, releasing his balls from their prison in his boxers. You were gentle with them, cupping them, giving them a soft squeeze. 

He groaned as you popped off and slid your tongue down his shaft before sucking one delicate testicle between your lips. His musk wasn't overpowering, thank God, and he tasted slightly like soap. He'd showered very recently, in preparation of seeing you. 

His fingers tightened in your hair as your hand wrapped around his shaft and pumped him, your tongue rolling around the skin in your mouth. You moaned around him before shifting to take the other into your mouth. 

"Fuckin'... Perfect." He breathed to you. 

Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt the heavy weight of his balls on your tongue, on your face, and you moaned loudly against him. 

Slowly, reluctantly, you pulled away from his balls and brought your mouth back to his cock to finish him off. He was getting close, and you wanted to taste his seed. 

You bobbed your head up and down his length, and he groaned as his tip pressed against the back of your throat. You gagged softly, drool leaking from the corner of your mouth. 

"Gonna cum…" he warned you, but you kept on going. You wanted it. You wanted it all. 

Your hand cupped his balls to feel them clench and shift as he came, his cock twitching in your mouth as he filled it up with his spunk. 

You moaned at the taste of him, swallowing what you could before bobbing your head a few more times to clean him up. 

You pulled away and looked up at him, licking your lips to get what had escaped you. Your hand slid from between your legs - you didn't need to cum again. 

His cheeks were red as his breathing slowly stabilized, and he smirked at you as he stuffed himself back into his jeans. 

"You got something up your sleeve for that?" He asked teasingly. 

"Nah, just natural talent." You joked, brushing some hair behind your ear. You bit your lip and looked at him, wondering if this meant the date was over. 

"Wanna see if they kept our food?" He asked, laughing a bit as he grabbed his jacket. 

You smiled and nodded, moving to follow him back out of the van. 

. . . . . . . . . .

Tag list: @eddiemunsons-girl @spiderrrling @syddsatyrn @mayeddieandstevegf

[ms-no1kpopstan]

Me or her?

Niki x reader

NOT PROOF READ

synopsis: you set your bff Riki up with Eunchae, one of your friends, on a date.. but what happens when you realise that you might have caught feelings for him along the way. So who will he choose, you or Eunchae?

PART ONE

Nishimura Riki has been your best friend since kindergarten and you don’t remember the last time you went out without him. It was safe to say that you did everything together. You’ve been through crushes, breakups, and all of that stuff together. You were in college now.

And, here you are texting him whether he would like to go on a date with your friend Eunchae. And he said yes. That answer was one you did not expect at all. ‘Okay, sure’ you type into your chat. You already asked Eunchae and she said yes as well. You told them a bit about each other since they'd never met before, just to have a few convo starters and prevent very awkward silences…

It was now the day of their date and you took it upon yourself to find Riki the perfect outfit and damn, did it look good. You chose a black shirt with his favourite anime’s print on it and some baggy blue jeans. It looked perfect. While you sent him off, you actually felt like a proud mom who was watching her son graduate…

You were super happy about this and god, did you hope this went well. He always told you how it always seemed like he pushed girls away when actually he was just trying to get to know them before a relationship. So this was a chance for him to redeem himself and finally get a girl… you couldn’t wait till they got together and you could tell everyone about you playing their Cupid.

Now you just needed to wait until he got back in a few hours.. a few hours without him wouldn’t be that hard, would it?

You got off your bed and made your way to the couch to watch tv but you just couldn’t without him there to watch with you. So you resorted to scrolling through social media with a cup of instant ramen next to you. A FEW HRS LATER

You hear the keys to your apartment jangling and watch as Riki walks in with a big smile on his face

“Phew,” you think “it must have gone well if he’s smiling so much”.

“y/nnie, the date went so well, we talked a lot, shared a bowl of ice cream and we walked around the place for a bit! I hope we could do that again…” he says, happily. “That’s great riks, did you get her number too??”, you ask, excitedly. “Yeah, I did and oh my god she’s so pretty! Like I know you told me she was pretty but she was just more beautiful than I thought!!!!”

“Okay that’s really great ki! And also, wanna watch that new kdrama with me? I’ve been wanting to watch it for a while…” you say with a soft tone towards the end.

“Okay sure Y/nnie! Even I've been wanting to watch that one”

You make some popcorn and sit down next to each other on the couch, your head on his shoulder and your fingers intertwined(in a friendly way of course….)

Physical affection wasn’t something rare in your friendship and that’s why a lot of people thought you two were dating. Well, all you had to say about today was it was a great day! Riki’s date went great, and you were watching a new kdrama with him too! What more could you ask for?

•____________________________________________ A/n End of part one! And also tell me if you want to be added to the taglist. By the way i Don’t have a schedule for updates so it will be a bit irregular! pls interact with the story if you want. Re blogs, comments and likes are appreciated! Hope you liked it! And this is my first series so pls keep that in mind before giving hate comments. Also, rude and judgmental comments will be deleted and blocked. sorry for the long note!

TAGS; @leaderwonim @mandukkul @copyhanni @nikiswifereal27 @stariikis @ad0rechuu @copyhanni @jungkit @rk1stars @rikihqq @wonryllis

DOUBLE UPDATE YAYYYY okay bye!

A/n pt 2 @ms-no1kpopstan’s not yours. Please do not translate, or repost without my permission and it must have my credits if so.

[zaynesbeloved]

Hey there!

I read your this fic and it was amazing!! If you ever feel up to it then please please please make one with kazuha.. Have a good day/night!

BIG BRAIN (idk why I didn't think of that😭)

also been rewriting this 2 times and delete it by accident so this is my third attempt..

warning¡: NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!

basically how kazuha came to love your boobies so much with a little more spice since this is my first drabble of him here;)

!MDNI! read at your own risk!

kazuha wasn't exactly a boobies kind of person(he would worship your whole body though)

but that was until he meet you, the love of his life<3

the first time he touched your boobies was accident

it was when he accidentally slip on a banana peel (it was definitely scara's)

and his first instinct was to grab nearest thing so his face won't have to meet the floor. and that nearest thing happened to be your boobies..

you yelp when it happened, and it was enough to make kazuha realize what just happened,

"my apology, I didn't mean to do that i-" kazuha hand was waving around as he apologizes frantically, but you stop him by grabbing both of his hand and giggle,

"it's okay kazuha. I know you didn't mean to do it, it was accident. in fact, I have actually been wanting you to touch my breast for awhile.." you mumble the last part quietly, hoping kazuha wouldn't hear it,

but you forgot one thing, kazuha has a hearing of an owl..

for the entire week, kazuha could only think about your boobies.

how soft your boobies was, or how your boobies fit way too perfect in his palm. it was only few seconds but kazuha still couldn't forget how soft and squishy your breast was. especially with the fact that you actually been wanting for him to touch your breast? he could only sigh when he feel his pants getting a little tighter.

oh how he pray to archon so he could hold his desire back on your date tomorrow.

but it seems like archon wasn't on his side the next day.

kazuha was waiting for you in front of a cafe while scrolling through his phone. suddenly he could hear people around him whisper stuff about a beautiful girl. he couldn't careless, to him you were the most beautiful girl in the world. but when he feel a tap on his shoulder, he look up and his eyes widened immediately, how he wish he didn't look up.

it was you, you were wearing a blue sundress that reveal some of your cleavages. you also did your hair and put some make up on. archon, you were beyond beautiful. kazuha himself could feel his mouth agape a bit at your figure.

"kazuha...?" when you said his name while waving a hand in front of his face, kazuha snap out of his daydream

"a-ah, I apologize, you just look so beautiful right now beloved." he fake coughing as he let out a compliment that has your stomach flutter and heart beat faster.

thankfully the rest of the day went well and you both had fun as well.

but when he drop you off, he didn't expect you to tug on the back of his shirt when he was about to leave.

"w-wait! I have something i wanna say to you.." you said nervously as you grip on his shirt got tighter. kazuha took your hand and hold it before smiling softly at you,

"what is it? is there anything you want me to do love?" the tone of his voice was so soft and gentle that you could feel your heart melt because of it. you nodded as response before looking down. you then proceed to guide his hand towards your breast before letting it wrapped around your mound,

"I actually want you to touch and play with my breast.. is that okay..?" your tone was unsure. but kazuha definitely wasn't expecting any of this, his eyes widened and his mouth open slightly as he tried to process or make sure he didn't mistake what he hear.

when kazuha kept silent for an entire minutes, you could feel yourself panic, maybe it wasn't a good idea after all,

"nevermind-!" before you could continue your sentence, kazuha hug you. you were surprised by this but you were even more surprise when he wrap his hand on your thighs before picking you up, earning a yelp from you.

kazuha brought both of you into your living room before setting you down on the couch. kazuha took your dress off revealing a strapless white bra with a matching panties. kazuha put his knees beside your thighs, caging it in process. you look away when he stare at you for few second.

you let out a squeak when kazuha push your head to meet his chest before he let his hand unclip your bra and throw it somewhere else in the room.

kazuha stare at your naked breast in awe. there it was, your breast looking round, soft and plump with a perky nipple that begging to be lick and bite.

"are you sure you want me to do this? it may lead to something even bigger.." kazuha ask as confirmation, after all to him what you desire is the most important thing to him. and if he ended up making you uncomfortable or even worst, you hating him, he would never forgive himself after

"yes, I'm sure kazu. I trust my entire body to you. and if lead somewhere else, I wouldn't mind if it's you.." you look at kazuha with determination. you know how much kazuha love and adore you, and you know that no matter what, kazuha wouldn't hurt you.

after getting the confirmation, kazuha place both of his hand on your breast, earning a soft gasp from you. he was right, you feel so much softer without bra.

he begin to knead both of your breast slowly at first, trying to grasp the entire feeling of your breast in his palm. and it fits so perfectly that kazuha was sure, your entire body was made for him alone.

you pant and occasionally leg out a quiet moan. after awhile kazuha begin to knead your a little rougher, wanting to hear more of your voices, the prove of how good he's making you feel,

"does it feel good love?" kazuha ask as he stare at you with eyes full of adoration as he continues to knead your soft mounds

"mhn-! y-yeah, it feels good kazu-haa" you answer in between your pant and moan. kazuha smile at this, not only he get to play with your soft boobies that he grew to love now, he also get to please you. kills two bird with one stone, am I right?

after awhile, kazuha let one hand go, he lean towards the unattended breast before letting his mouth wrapped around your nipple. kazuha begin to suck on your nipple, rolling his tongue around it as he continues to massage the other with his hand while also rolling the nipple around with his finger.

your moan gradually getting louder as he kept playing with your chest with his hand and mouth. and he have to say, your breast and nipple taste so good that he might won't be able to stop at all. he tried to bite your nipple softly, earning a pretty loud moan from you that has him smile against your breast.

he switched breast, giving the other same treatment, licking and sucking along with biting. and it would be a lie to say you weren't a mess just from kazuha playing with your boobies.

"k-kazuhaa mhaanh-" you whine to him. it feels way too good, his hand and his mouth feel too good on your breast that you might just cum from kazuha playing with your breast alone.

noticing your needy gaze, kazuha chuckle softly against your nipple, vibration sending shiver down to your spine. kazuha let his unused hand slide across your tummy, caressing gently before moving down to your clothed cunt. kazuha could feel how wet your panties was already and when begin to rub your clothed cunt with his fingers, circling your clit with his thumb before pressing it gently, you moan loudly in response as your hand went to his head, griping his hair softly.

"a-ah! kazu-haa, i-i" before you could try to finish your sentence, you could feel yourself cum, you arch your back pushing his finger into your clothed cunt even more.

kazuha finally pull away from your breast, eyes full of lust, love and adoration. he was proud that he managed to make you cum just from playing with your breast. kazuha look down towards your cunt, and he could see how drenched your panties was. your cum was leaking from your panties, wetting your couch and thighs. kazuha stare for awhile before deciding to take your panties off. he saw string of cum connected from your cunt to your panties when he pull your panties away.

and of course, your cunt was a mess, covered in your own cum. but to kazuha it looked like a meal that ready to be devour.

and after that day, kazuha would often(I mean everyday) ask you if he can play with your boobies and just suck and knead your soft mounds for you and his pleasure<3

[katsu-curry835]

I cannot stress this enough tiktok has a policy whereby it CENSORS CONVENTIONALLY UNATTRACTIVE PPL. They will demote your video if you have wrinkles, an obvious beer belly, are too fat or too thin or have dwarfism. Among other horrid policies of course. The below is a leaked document from the moderators detailing what should be demoted by the algorithm.

I’m aware that most social media apps harvest your data, are prone to pipelines and shadowbanning and don’t pay their creators enough but TikTok is genuinely the w o r s t in every category. You genuinely lose nothing by not using it. Below is another image of a glitch that showed activist hashtags such relating to BLM with 0 views (they got shadowbanned)

Another huge problem that exists on the app is the radicalisation pipelines are so strong because the three minute vid and 150 character comment format completely flattens nuance. All it takes is for someone to sound confident and talk fast enough with a vaguely coherent argument before you start thinking that overpopulation is a myth and engaging in needless drama (see: Drew Afualo and Bela Delgato, Danisha Carter and her critics etc.) This is poisoning how we interact with politics. YouTube is nowhere near perfect but it at the very least rewards longer form content this stuff like video essays is promoted on there. Tumblr has no character limit so you can read the entirety of this shitty essay without me needing to cut things for brevity. Typing a TikTok comment has driven me insane before because 150 characters is not even close to enough to have an informed discussion. Who is correct has now become who can slam dunk on someone else the best.

I do genuinely think that Drew Afualo is a net positive for the world and I’m glad she’s using the TikTok algorithm to spread good messages. But let’s be honest here, her videos aren’t well researched takes on misogyny. And I don’t think they’re trying to be either. Drew shouldn’t be expected to sit down and research a TikTok while she’s shitting on some asshole; that’s not her style. I think the problem is beyond her control. People are taking her quips and one-liners to formulate their opinions on the world around them. This is ok in this example given that Drew a positive influence. But this can and has been weaponised so easily to spread harmful rhetoric left and right and when you’re on political TikTok it’s impossible to tell which is which. Misinformation is also shockingly common and incentivised by the format.

Finally, your attention span is dying. Let’s look at YouTube. YouTube’s policies make it so that longer content is rewarded and, and this is a crucial point, you choose what you want to watch. On TikTok, because you are given content with the assumption you’ll enjoy it, you have to decide while watching if you want to scroll or not. Eventually your window of tolerance of videos before they get good shrinks and you’ll end up judging the quality of the content based on the first seven seconds. Comparatively, YouTube has you choose videos assuming you’ll like them and therefore you’ll spend more time with the art before you decide whether or not it’s for you. When your attention shrinks to seven seconds on TikTok, this bleeds into other aspects of your life and is incredibly unhealthy (speaking from experience). I had to watch two hour long video essays to compensate for how TikTok was just wrecking my focus.

Most people know TikTok sucks and use it anyway but then encourage others not to get it. Why don’t we delete it? Here’s an idea, if you have TikTok, get rid of it now. Destroy its ubiquity and only use Tumblr and YouTube /j No but seriously delete the app I’m so happy I did. My life has improved infinitely since.

[fump-2]

History lesson

In the beginning there was r/195. Initially it was started as a way for like 3 roommates to share memes with each other. Their apartment number? 195.

As with any shitposting subreddit people find it and they shitpost. It grew semi-quickly because of its one rule, you have to post something before you leave.

Naturally there are more secret rules. This is obvious as reddit has some guidlines they like to keep, but the guy who made the subreddit from the beginning also removed things he didn't like. What's important is that they deleted a lot of bigotry. The result of him removing things was of course death threats.

Eventually the threats became too much, it was one person dealing with a hoard of edgy 15 year olds mad that their bigotry was being deleted. The apartments lease already passed so while a new community grew around this subreddit, he decided to hang it up. After a couple hundred days, the expirement ended. 195 was closed.

The community moves next door, to 196. The apartment of awesome.

The decisions those initial creators had stuck with this community, you have to post after scrolling before you leave. The community was already shappen though, the initial creator didn't like bigotry and the likes so that stuck with the new mod team.

During this time of course there's discorse. Wasp discorse, pillar discord, british people discorse. But there was never discorse about lgbtq+. It was common for a while to have posts about kicking terfs out of 196, only for there to be discorse about posting those images for karma farming.

Because of all this, that small preference from an initial guy, 196 was just a safe space for trans and nb and anyone else really (except british people, i think one person got doxxed for being british). Soon enough it just became the spot for them. Trans people attract trans people.

There's a whole lot more that could be added. The cake fucker, the fruit fucker, the pasta fucker (All one person by the way). The love of bridget from guilty gear and the slow brain rot of remembering her name (brisket, bronco, bringo). And lets not forget floppa friday.

In the end the mods decided to private it for now. They use mod tools that will probably break and a lot of problems are going to come out of new API changes from reddit so half the website went dark. The site is basically unusable for what I would check on it with all the subreddits down.

It was nice watching the evolution of 196. I was there from the start and I watched as it became gayer and gayer. I never really posted either (which was against the rule), nor am I trans/gay/secret thing. I'm a straight white male and seeing all the little gay people in my phone find and accept themselves for who they are made me very joyful. It also helped change my thinking to make sure I dont do anything bigoted while out in public.

Thank you 196. may you rest peacefully and may you live to see your resurgence.

(disclaimer some of this stuff may be wrong. dont use it as gospel. r/19684 still exist as an offchute with the same mods if you need a better account of the history.)

[nonexistent-introvert]

Overthinking (Paper Stars 6)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Content: rants about romance, rants, hurt + comfort?, fluff, usual stuff, Joel has a soft spot for you,

A/N: I'm finally back and free! (not for long before exams catch up to me again). This chapter sort of wrote itself and may also be a rant idk. I have also just realized it has been exactly a month since I updated this series. My apologies. (This is also a repost sorry I was trying to edit my post but me being me accidentally deleted it instead )

Paper Stars Masterlist

GIF by loregifs

   “It’s fine.” The last message from Joel has plagued your thoughts for the past hour. You furiously swiped the screen, hoping that the screen would refresh with a new message. The last time you truly saw him was literally the time when you had chased him out of your house. You had barely caught glimpses of him after that and the guilt that ate at your heart for treating him so harshly only seemed to grow with each cold shoulder he gave you. Joel had stopped giving you his usual smiles when he saw you and stopped coming up to you for a quick conversation. “Sorry, been busy.” Your eyes reread that message he had sent to you for the umpteenth time. Hell, you could recite this conversation out loud if anyone wanted you to. If you were any wiser, maybe you’ll realise that Joel has been avoiding you but you decided to trust him instead.

     “Joel, I’m really sorry about the other day, fuck I feel real bad about it. I just hoped to be able to talk to you, face to face.” You reread that apology you sent him. Did you mess everything up with him again? It shouldn’t be a surprise, you tend to do that anyways. The jar of paper stars sat on the surface of the coffee table, mocking you. 

==============================================

     “That’s harsh Joel.” Tommy commented, scrolling through Joel’s chat. Joel harshly snatched his phone back from his younger brother, dropping to his seat with an exasperated sigh. “I mean, I suspected something when you decided to spend more time in the office but to her?” Tommy poked. “Drop it, Tommy. Hand me the proposal already.” Joel instructed. Tommy took the proposal he had tucked under his armpit and dropped it onto Joel’s desk. Tommy let himself drop into the seat opposite Joel, leaning against his arms that were behind his head. “Come on, fill me in.” Joel ignored Tommy, deciding to busy himself with the proposal in front of him. “Its not like you to be so harsh. At least not to her.” Tommy went on, spinning a stray pen that was on Joel’s desk. He leaned forward, a teasing smile on his face as he stared at his older brother. “Ah, the silent treatment. That what you been doing these days? To her?” Joel’s eyes finally snapped to meet Tommy’s. “I told ya to drop it didn’t I?” Tommy stifled a laugh, “That would have worked years ago. Using that card too many times seems to have dulled the fear effect on me” 

Joel simply glared at him before deciding to focus on his proposal again. 

      “Fine, I’ll just ask her myself.” Tommy insisted, standing up to pull out his phone from his pocket while walking towards the office door of Joel’s office. The door slammed shut before Tommy even made it past the door. “Cut it out,” Joel warned again, having got out of his seat to close the door before Tommy could do anything. “Then spill,” Joel averted his gaze away from Tommy. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Joel couldn’t help but think it was so petty when he thought of voicing his thoughts to Tommy. “Something major must have happened. You were literally trying to pick up cooking despite your hectic schedule a few weeks ago. You were more smiley and easygoing since you saw her again and now you are back to the old boring grump.” Joel rolled his eyes, 

   “We just got different perspectives on some matters,” Joel stated plainly. 

================================================

     Having grew up in a family that was not very keen on forming attachments, you have learnt to be nonchalant and not have most things bother you. The literal reason for your family not getting a family pet like a dog was not even the usual heavy responsibilities reason. It may have been one of the reasons but you remember distinctly that the main reason was “When the dog’s time is up, it would be living hell. You wouldn’t want to go through that.” These were the exact words that your parents have told you. It had shaped how you grew up as a person too, having attachments to people only seemed to bring the most pain if they left you, you would rather be alone than have to go through that. You would rather not have formed that deep of an attachment in the first place. 

    You had always despised people who got into relationships headfirst, your first thought was always ‘what if it didn’t last?’, you watched your friends get into relationships with guys and saw how their relationships eventually end in failure. The reasons range from having lost that ‘spark’ to having different priorities in life. It all seemed so foolish, especially when you had firsthand seen how your friends cried over the people they once thought were the ‘love of their life’ when they seemed to never be able to get over their exes. It seemed so foolish and stupid to you, putting yourself in a vulnerable state over someone, not knowing if they felt as strongly as you. The probabilities and variables involved always showed that it was a losing game. The nickname ‘romance pessimist’ was given to you by your friends. It did hurt when some of your closest friends did not tell you about their relationships or open up to you about their own relationships in fear that you would judge them or not empathize with them but you that upon yourself anyways. Just like most things in your life, you just brushed that behavior off, that is also the reason why your phone is filled with contacts that you haven’t talked to for years, you tend to drift apart with people easily. 

    However, you would be lying if you said that you didn’t believe in love at all. In the oceans of bad relationship examples, there were good ones too. Relationships that made your heart flutter upon hearing them speak about their significant other, gestures that made your heart melt when you saw what they did for each other. Chemistry that seemed to bind two people in ways that science and logic cannot explain. It intrigued you to say the very least. While others' dose of romance came from pursuing relationships, yours came from fictional works and other successful relationships. Despite the cold exterior you had put up when it comes to romance, you were a sucker for it deep down. You were just afraid of the ‘what ifs’ in a relationship. 

    Joel Miller, he always seemed to break through that exterior of yours. When he picked up cooking to cook for you, when he changed into formal attire just to match you, and countless small gestures he did for you over the years only fed into your desires for romance. You forced yourself to suppress those desires but now, as you sat on the couch worrying if you had pushed him too far away. You knew that you had already became vulnerable when it comes to Joel. You knew when your thoughts spiraled around him. when you consistently thought and reflected on yourself. A friend once told you that being in love was like being delusional. You never know what the other person is thinking so you think about it until you eventually convince yourself the other person either thinks positively or negatively about you. You delude yourself into believing in that image of you despite what the other person believes. 

     You sat up with a sigh. What were you doing? Analysing his every reaction, wondering if he hated you, wondering if you had finally pulled his last straw. The logical part of you scolded yourself, gave yourself the same advice that you had given countless friends when they ranted about their relationship issues. “Stop overthinking.” You had never realised how useless that advice is until now. You put on your shoes and forced yourself out on a walk, leaving your phone in your home to avoid thinking about the matter any longer. 

================================================

     Joel yawned as he waited at a red light. His eyes fell to the time that read 12.45am. The streets were dark and empty, anyone who took a walk now would be as foolish as the characters you see in horror movies. Not to mention, the dark and stormy clouds towering in the sky and the few raindrops that littered his windscreen. 

      Just as he finished that thought, the one person that would be foolish enough to do all this appeared in his hindsight. It was like a sign to Joel never to underestimate you. He massaged his temples in annoyance as he watched you stroll along the streets like everything he had just thought of did not apply to you. He always admired your nonchalant attitude, the shittiest things could happen to you and you could just smile and laugh it off, preferring to adapt than do anything about it. However, this was a circumstance where that attitude annoyed him. You never seemed to understand the concept behind getting a cold, since young, you have learned to embrace the rain rather than seek shelter. The countless times he had to drag you out of the rain to a shelter and nagged at you for splashing puddles of rainwater at him, especially that one time when you had intentionally stuck your hand out into the rain despite the shelter just so you could gather the rainwater to splash at him. He admitted that it had got onto his nerves, seeing the dirty stains on his pants from you kicking dirty rainwater onto him and getting wet despite being a shelter but the smile and happiness on your face seemed to melt away all the anger in him. Your smile was worth him spending an extra few minutes trying to scrub off the stains on his pants and the sneezing fit he got after. 

       Joel subconsciously smiled at the memories. He watched you, nagging internally at you when he realised you hadn’t brought an umbrella with you too. You were the only person he knew that treated umbrellas like the bane of your life. “It gets wet and what am I supposed to do with it? Hold it? I can’t even throw it back into my bag!” You always complained, opting to get drenched. A logic that he would never understand. 

      Joel drove slowly beside you, cursing slightly at your obliviousness as you continued to walk. If the roads weren’t empty at this time he would definitely be identified as a stalker or be considered as obstructing traffic. Honestly, if it wasn't for the circumstances now, he would have driven right away, still feeling rather hurt at your actions the other day. Well, he told himself that even if deep down he knew he would never just coldly drive past you. Joel lowered his car window, calling out your name. He groaned when you just continued walking, never even realising his truck beside you and that he was calling you. He pressed the horn in the spur of the moment, cringing slightly at the loud noise it made. He swore he could hear the people complaining and cussing him out for horning at this time. You finally snapped out of your daze, you jumped at the noise before your eyes caught sight of the familiar truck. Shit. 

      “Get in.” Joel grunted. You shook your head, “It’s ok.” you tried to brush him off. “It’s about to pour, get in.” At the mention of the rain, the rain got heavier and you cursed. “Joel, I’ll get your seats dirty.” You argued, feeling your clothes get pelted with raindrops. Joel rolled his eyes, hopping out of his truck. A gesture that took you by surprise. “What- Joel- you’re going to get wet!” You said. “I couldn’t care less about my seats right now and I’ll prove it by standing here with you.” “Joel, you’re a fucking maniac.” Joel raised his eyebrows, “Says the one who doesn’t ever bring an umbrella. Talk all you want, we’ll just get more drenched the longer we stand here.” You let out a frustrated groan, shoving past him as you got into his truck. Joel smirked, looking down to hide it before entering his truck again. 

      The silence between the both of you caught up real soon. Unlike the usual comfortable ones the both of you usually shared, this was tense. You looked out of the window, trying to ignore the uncomfortable energy suffocating the both of you in the truck. You eyed the radio in the car enviously, having some music would probably make this less torturing. Joel pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyebrows furrowed as he focused on the road ahead. The mature part of him was calling him childish for ignoring you until you decided to make the first move to talk but he was too stubborn to listen to it. In a way, you did make the first move, offering to talk, but he had rejected you with a cold lie. 

     “You wanted to talk didn’t you?” Joel broke the silence. You stared at him, pursing your lips. You definitely had, you even wrote a script in your mind on what to tell him but all the words seemed to have left your mind now that you were faced with him. “Or did I get you mixed up with Tommy?” He tried to joke, but he should have guessed the frown on his face didn’t facilitate in delivering it as a joke. “I did yeah.” You admitted. He kept quiet, waiting for you to continue. He snuck a glance at you when you took a little too long. “Sorry Joel, that is the main message. The rest of the words are just a mess in my mind.” You sighed, trying to sort your thinking out. 

    “Spit it out, anything. I’ll put them together for you.” You bit your lip upon hearing those words. It was just words, but it brought on a surge of positive mixed emotions. “It's just- I didn’t mean to push you away. I didn’t want to either. I- it just seems like a natural instinct to do that.” 

    “You didn’t want to burden me with your emotions.” Joel concluded for you. You nodded, you would never understand how he knew you so well. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel for a split second. “I’m not a goddamn mind reader you know?” You glanced at him, unsure of what to say to that.

    “I respect that sometimes you need space, but then when I noticed that look on you. I just had to know what was going on in your head. I never wished to be a mind reader more than then. Scratch that, I want to be able to read your mind all the time. I want to know everything about you. So I genuinely don’t mind if you treat me like that diary you had in middle school. Hell, it’ll make me happy. You know I never was one for puzzles.” You smiled at his words, a warmth settling in your heart at his words. When you were young people used to say you talk too much, that you needed to know when to keep quiet, and that your topics of conversation were not interesting. Joel, you should have noticed his comments about you ever since young were the opposite. He never stopped you from talking, he enjoyed it even. Joel was never good with words, he preferred listening and seemed to let him do just that, making jokes and witty comments that can lift his moods on the darkest of days. 

      “That’s just creepy. Imagine if you knew what I thought of 24/7, and it was a journal, Joel. Not a diary.” You joked, you weren’t one for sappy words either. You just hoped he knew in his heart how much his words meant to you. A smile crept onto his face, he rubbed his beard with his hand. “Why? You got dirty thoughts?” “Worse than that.” He chuckled, “Yeah, I would know. I read your diary.” You hid behind your arm as you laughed, cringing slightly at the diary you used to have as a child. “Shut up, it’s a journal.” “‘Mrs. Jefferson needs to learn how to mind her own business and Jennifer inserting herself into random conversations does not make her more popular but annoying literally go back to your front seat and kiss ass.” Joel quoted. “Why do you still remember!” You placed your hands over your ears, cringing at his impersonation of the exact words you once wrote in a private journal until Joel Miller got his hands on it. “Because it was interesting. Only book I read that year, maybe that explains why I failed that literature test on Shakespeare.” Joel thought back, he would never consider himself to be academically smart. “Maybe huh. Just a slight chance you may have failed because you didn’t even do the necessary readings.” you shot back in sarcasm. Joel grinned, “Hey, you should be the next great writer! You  literally beat Shakespeare in being more interesting.” “I literally failed most of my English essays because of ‘grave errors’ like expression and grammatical errors up until finals.” You said, thinking back on how your English teacher failed you by penalizing you on multiple occasions. “I’m sure Mrs. Jefferson would be pleased to find out your diary is one of New York’s bestsellers. With the terrible grammar and all. Could be your unique writing style and all.” Joel teased and you shoved him lightly. 

       The tension between the both of you became non-existent soon enough. 

     Tommy was right, maybe airing some of your problems out instead of bottling them would make life much easier. Advice he had given you in all his years as your best friend, having long learned how to maneuver past those walls you had put up. 

[floralcrematorium]

I don't know if youve answered this before, but what made you come back? I'm not that old in the fandom, maybe half a year and it's so interesting how that fandom changed and how it used to be.

Thanks for the ask! I'm gonna be real with you, it was an accident. This is about to be a loooooooong ass post so I'm putting it beneath the cut:

It happened steadily in July. A very slippery slope.

I left in or around 2018 just because I lost interest. A friend in 7th grade introduced me to it in early 2014. I had been running my Instagram account since Summer of 2014 with my best friend (who at the time had been my partner, and by 2018 we had broken up) and our other friend. We'd all moved on and the account became dead. It wasn't a good account, but we'd amassed 1.1k followers during our tenure. Those were the days of if you wanted to post a comic, there were no Instagram slides. You had to post it all individually. The account was deleted in 2021? I think? 2020?

So come July 2023, I was poking around in my old Google Drive and found some of my old Hetalia stuff. Which included a fic with the aforementioned friends. It uh. Is not good. I reread it and oh boy is it a product of its time (we were probably 13-15 when we wrote it) and it was a 3 way POV that we all wrote with self insert characters. It was basically Heta characters get thrown in the setting of Outlast but with the plot of FNAF. Yeah. So uh. Not much to defend there. I jokingly went to my friends like "Hey, what if we rewrote this but not horrible" and we genuinely thought about it! For a night.

But for me it wasn't one night.

I kept thinking about it.

And one thing led to the next, I was revisiting old Youtube videos I liked and reread a fic I used to like.

I think what really did me in was listening to the character songs again and a couple of hetaloid covers. I was doing artfight and listening only to Hetalia music while I drew.

I genuinely did not really use my normal Tumblr before floralcrematorium came to be. I have an entirely separate account for personal stuff and art (I will not be sharing it) and it got to a point where I was seeking so much Hetalia stuff that I figured, why the fuck not, and eventually made an account. I also eventually made my first A03 account (I was on Wattpad and FFN back in the day) because someone wrote a CanUkr fic where Mattie had overexerted himself and was in the hospital and Katya and Alfred were going to kill him because he kept insisting he could work (I CANNOT FIND THIS FIC AGAIN, I FOUND IT ON TUMBLR ORIGINALLY, PLEASE HELP IF THIS RINGS A BELL!!).

And uh, so here I am!

I draw Hetalia stuff on occasion (I should... draw more considering that's what I went to college for but whatever) and have a couple of ideas for illustration series in my head.

I've got a lot of fic ideas I want to write. I have a literal list on my phone. I think about it in bed, at work, and little things remind me of Hetalia all the time.

I've gotten back into RP (I used to use Shamchat and Kik).

I've met so many cool people and I've been having a wonderful time being back so far. When I was originally in the fandom, I consumed a lot of content, but as far as mutuals went it was just me and my two friends. Meeting so many new people has been absolutely wonderful.

Hetalia is really the only fandom I've been in. I've liked other media and consumed fics/enjoyed art/bought prints (COUGH RWBY), but Hetalia is the only media I've ever had fan accounts for. It's the only media I've so deeply entrenched myself in that I feel comfortable writing fics. My walls used to be covered in Hetalia -- both official wall scrolls and shitty art I'd made myself (I have pictures I can attach at the end of the post). I had... so much merch. When I was 14 I only asked for Hetalia related things for my birthday. Every now and again I get that "am I doing the right thing?" ick because of the negative fandom reputation and reactions I'd get from people when I would admit to having liked Hetalia in the past, but I don't care about that now. Genuinely, fuck that. I like this piece of media whether I want to or not. I'm not going to be a self-hating Hetalia fan like I was in 2018-2021/22. I've come back to the show with completely different... motives? Idk what the right phrase is here -- I'm here to explore the characters of these little freaks (looking at you, Francis), I love all of the fanart I see, I like the exchange of historical and cultural information/resources.

Sure, I'd consider my fandom niche to be humanverse Francis and FACE fam, but I genuinely enjoy exploring outside of my corner of the fandom. I try to spread myself out -- I want to consume everything. I want to be exposed to everything.

Hetalia is one of the single most impactful pieces of media in my life. Without it, I wouldn't have my best friend, who broke up with me for APH Austria in 2015. The friends I ran the Instagram account with and I are all still in contact. I talk to one much more frequently than the other, but they are both so near and dear to my heart and I can't believe that this silly show is what got us to where we are. The youngest of us is about to graduate college a whole year early. I met her when she was 11 and I was 12 or 13? I couldn't be more proud of her, of the three of us, and it's been so fun to have these occasional nights where we (okay, just me) get tipsy and go through old fandom media/watch the dub and go ooooof. I was in a really bad place when I was originally into Hetalia. Coming back now feels like coming full circle.

The old fandom had plenty of its own issues, and the fandom now certainly isn't devoid of issues, but now that the fanbase has shifted to an older audience and I actually have like. Social skills. I love talking to other people. I like creating. I like thinking about these stupid characters before I go to bed.

My single favorite thing about the Hetalia fandom now is the care put into historical work as well as the exploration of portrayals of the characters. Because Hetalia lacks a plot and Hima is constantly retconning things, everyone has their own interpretations of everything. Everyone has their own version of Francis Bonnefoy, Yao Wang, or Alfred F. Jones. And that's so cool!!! You don't see that anywhere else.

I know I'm typically a pessimist on main, but I'm genuinely glad to be back. It's weird to be back. I've had mixed reactions from irl friends that I'm back.

But who the fuck cares?

I'm having fun, I'm making friends, and I can't believe there are still people here.

I genuinely hope I'm here for a while. I have so much I want to write. I want to draw all of the things my skill level was too low for back when I was a teen.

CRINGE IS DEAD AND I AM FREE.

The following images are certainly about to destroy any cool perception anyone has of me, if they even do. I was... certainly a teenager, is all I have to say! I am,,, thankfully not like this anymore. I hope.

Here are those pictures of my bedroom circa 2015 I promised:

DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT THE LIVE LAUGH LOVE.

That drawing of Russia with Neko-Talia Russia? Yeah. Uh. I did that for an art project in the 7th grade for class. I also did a ceramics piece with the mochis, that I've since lost. These images scream "I'm 14 and like Hetalia in 2015."

I used to have little hearts with all the ships I liked in them (I think that's AusHun in the picture on the left?). I also had "I love you" written in like 20 languages on index cards taped above my headboard.

Also a literal timestamp I found in my old emails with the friend who got me into Hetalia:

Being a young teenager in the old fandom certainly,,,, was something. I would not relive that, but by god would I do ANYTHING to get my favorite pieces of fan media back from that time. There was a video called "Hetalia What Did You Do To Panda" which was a bunch of clips from the anime with Katie Herzig's "Hey Na Na" playing in the background. Every now and then a dub audio clip would interject with the song.

I also really miss this one very specific Character Theme Songs video that had Poland in the thumbnail. Mein Gott would play between each song and I could tell you most of the songs that had been assigned to each character.

I would do ANYTHING to get those videos back. I miss them so much.

Anyway, if you read this whole thing, thanks for reading??? I am very Cool And Normal about the things I like, unfortunately. It's nice to come back to Hetalia and like... be a normal person about it.

All I've got to say is, when I like something, I like it a lot.