#i think trying to put together a fully objective reading guide would probably be a fool's errand anyway

[kaijudyke]

alright, as promised, here is my personal venom reading guide as of right now, october 2024. disclaimer that this is not in any way intended to be definitive or universal and i am not an authority, i've just read a bunch of venom comics in the past five or so years and have strong feelings on the matter. there's some early stuff i would consider just objectively important for anyone who wants to read and understand venom, but there's also a lot of stuff that's on here because i personally like it (or not on here because i don't). it's highly subjective and informed by my personal opinions and biases. this is also specifically a guide to (primarily) eddie brock venom comics so if you're more interested in other hosts this will not be of much use to you. i have not read every venom comic in existence (there are a lot of them) and either way this is not intended to be an exhaustive list of The Only Comics You Should Read but if you're looking to start exploring the comics i think these are a pretty good place to start if you have remotely the same sensibilities as i do regarding these characters (which to be quite honest if you're getting your comic book recommendations from tumblr dot com you probably do). long disclaimer sorry but comics are SUCH a big and kind of scary topic. anyway the list is under the cut. starred titles are ones i consider particularly high priority if you're skipping around, either because they're plot-critical or because i think they're especially good. have fun

The alien costume arc — If you're able to read a collected edition you'll probably have an easier time than if you manually jump between comics, but I've included the full list anyway. This is a stupid way to publish a story. Comics are stupid. Unfortunately this one is also essential.

Setup — Mostly regular Spider-Man stuff with minor symbiote subplot; skippable or skimmable for symbiote highlights if desired. I would suggest skimming rather than skipping, since seeing how this arc actually played out in the comics is crucial to understanding the ways in which adaptations have warped people's perceptions of the Venom symbiote and of this storyline, which I personally think is a key part of learning to understand the symbiote as a character—there are some misconceptions you've probably picked up through cultural osmosis that you'll need to unlearn if you want to get to the heart of the character, and this is the place to start.

Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #8

The Amazing Spider-Man #252

Marvel Team-Up #141

The Spectacular Spider-Man #90

The Amazing Spider-Man #253

The Spectacular Spider-Man #91-#92

The Amazing Spider-Man #254

Marvel Team-Up #142-#143

The Amazing Spider-Man #255

Marvel Team-Up Annual #7

Marvel Team-Up #144

The Spectacular Spider-Man #93-#95

Marvel Team-Up #145

★ The Amazing Spider-Man #256-#258 — Even if you decide to skip the rest of the setup, you should read #258.

Marvel Team-Up #146

The Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #4

The Amazing Spider-Man #259

The Spectacular Spider-Man #96-#97

Marvel Team-Up #147-#148

The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #18

The Amazing Spider-Man #260-#261

The Spectacular Spider-Man #98

Marvel Team-Up #149

The Amazing Spider-Man #262

The Spectacular Spider-Man #99

Marvel Team-Up #150

The Amazing Spider-Man #263

The Spectacular Spider-Man #100

Climax — Absolutely not skippable! You will never understand the core of Venom without reading the end of the alien costume arc.

★ Web of Spider-Man #1

Later takes on the alien costume arc:

★ The Amazing Spider-Man (2018) Annual #1 by Saladin Ahmed — MANDATORY. Essential reading for symbiote sympathizers. I have this comic on display on a shelf above my bed.

Deadpool: Back in Black (2016) by Cullen Bunn (5 issues)

Venom's appearances as a villain in David Michelinie's issues of The Amazing Spider-Man — Important if you want to understand Venom's history and motivations. Also fun!

★ The Amazing Spider-Man #300 — Venom’s first appearance.

The Amazing Spider-Man #315-#317

The Amazing Spider-Man #332-#333

★ The Amazing Spider-Man #344-#347

★ The Amazing Spider-Man #361-363 — Carnage’s first appearance.

The Amazing Spider-Man #374-#375

★ Venom: Lethal Protector (1993) by David Michelinie (6 issues) — Venom’s first solo comic and introduction as an antihero. 

Venom: Separation Anxiety (1994) by Howard Mackie (4 issues)

★ Planet of the Symbiotes (1995) by David Michelinie (5 issues) — An important piece of the puzzle in terms of understanding the symbiote as a character.

Part 1: The Amazing Spider-Man Super Special #1

Part 2: Spider-Man Super Special #1

Part 3: Venom Super Special #1

Part 4: The Spectacular Spider-Man Super Special #1

Part 5: Web of Spider-Man Super Special #1

Venom: Carnage Unleashed (1995) by Larry Hama (4 issues)

★ Venom: The Hunger (1996) by Len Kaminski (4 issues) — My favorite Venom comic!

Venom (2016) by Mike Costa (22 issues) — Symbrock central. As noted below, #159 and #160 are part of Venom Inc. and should be read in combination with the other relevant comics.

The Amazing Spider-Man: Venom Inc. (2017) by Dan Slott and Mike Costa (6 issues) — Really fascinating as an examination of how different characters view symbiotes.

Part 1: Venom Inc. Alpha (2017)

Part 2: The Amazing Spider-Man (2015) #792

Part 3: Venom (2016) #159

Part 4: The Amazing Spider-Man (2015) #793

Part 5: Venom (2016) #160

Part 6: Venom Inc. Omega (2018)

★ Venom: First Host (2018) by Mike Costa (5 issues) — A story that is interested in the ways in which symbiotes are vulnerable to their hosts in a way a lot of Marvel comics simply aren't. Also once again Symbrock central. Costa is probably the #1 Symbrock warrior, even if Kaminski is my personal hero on that front.

★ Venom: Lethal Protector (2022) by David Michelinie (5 issues) — There are no words I could possibly say that would be sufficient to convey to you how ecstatic I was when this comic was announced.

Venom: Lethal Protector II (2023) by David Michelinie (5 issues)

Venom: Separation Anxiety (2024) by David Michelinie (5 issues)

Supplementary material: 

Venomverse

Edge of Venomverse (2017) (5 issues)

Venomverse: War Stories (2017) (1 issue)

Venomverse (2017) by Cullen Bunn (5 issues)

★ Extreme Venomverse (2023) (5 issues) — Even if you read no other Venomverse comics, do yourself a favor and read the Black Cat story in Extreme Venomverse #2.

Death of the Venomverse (2023) by Cullen Bunn (5 issues)

Venomverse Reborn (2024) (4 issues) — Unfortunately colored by the bizarre nature of current Venom canon even more than Death of the Venomverse is, although neither are bad comics in and of themselves. If you want to avoid all of that entirely you can read from Edge of Venomverse through Extreme Venomverse and stop there. I don't really keep up with post-Cates Venom canon and every time I see anything about it it baffles me so deeply.

★ Superior Carnage (2013) Annual #1 by Cullen Bunn — I'm kind of obsessed with this comic. Please read it.

Hybrid (1996) by Evan Skolnick — Makes up the second half of each issue of the following comics. Definitely dated in some ways, but introduces some great symbiotes and a great host.

Venom: Along Came a Spider (1996) (4 issues)

Venom: The Hunted (1996) (4 issues)

Venom: Seed of Darkness (1997) by Len Kaminski (1 issue) — A oneshot about Eddie encountering a different mysterious shadowy alien being before he ever bonded with the symbiote, written by the author of The Hunger. Not essential reading but it's a fun little standalone sci-fi story with some nice Eddie characterization.

Phenethylamine by Leah Williams, in Marvel Comics Presents (2019) #5 — Not really a recommendation so much as... a public service announcement, I guess. Is this my favorite comic in the world? No, but it would feel negligent not to tell you it exists. There are better comics. There are comics with a better understanding of the characters. But this is the only one that's explicitly about Eddie having sex with the symbiote, so do with that what you will.

[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There:  10.3: The FINAL Chapter!

Author’s Note: IM SO SORRY IM A DAY LATE I ENDED UP BEING BUSIER THAN EXPECTED AND HAD TROUBLE WRITING BUT HERE IT IS!!!! THANK YOU FOR READING! Be sure to stick around for Inception(Childexreader) ;)

"Xiao! Come here real quick!"  

The yaksha glanced your way but didn't bother to get up since you were the one approaching him.  It took a moment to register that your hands were entangled in his hair, placing something in it.  Your smile was unusually bright today--so much so that it was blinding.  Not that he minded though; you've been through a lot these past few months.  Maybe this was the happiest you've been in awhile.

"I knew it," you beamed as you admired the flower crown atop his head, "You look so cute!"

"C...Cute?"  His gaze flicked away from you for a moment while the tips of his ears reddened. "I-"

"Oh, take the compliment already.  We've been together for awhile now.  You don't need to be so shy around me."  You let yourself fall back onto the grass that was shaded by a large orange tree.  Is it a gingko?  I need to ask Aether next time he comes in here, your mind trailed.

"I..."  Xiao returned his attention to you and lay down next to you, careful not to invade personal space and always leaving an inch or two of space between the two of you.  He let his hands lay on his abdomen until he jumped a little from you scooting over without a word.  When he looked at you, he was greeted by a cheeky smile.

"I know you're not used to this type of thing called affection, but I can tell you don't mind it."

"Hmph.  You've gotten smarter."

"Hey, I told you I'm not a stupid human!"

"You're beginning to sound like Aether's companion."

"Okay, there is a huge difference between emergency food and a stupid human."

"So you admit it?"

"Ugh, keep this up and I'll have no choice but to put more flowers in your hair."

"Do you dishonor every adeptus you come across?"

"Well, you're the only adeptus I've met besides Rex--Er, Zhongli!"  The filtered sunlight peeking through the leaves above blinded you when you broke eye contact with Xiao, so instead you propped yourself on your side and admired the view behind him.

Aether's Serenitea Pot was massive.  It had to span a mile or two in every direction, and the entire territory sat upon five tall cliffs that were connected via wooden bridges and held flowing waterfalls.  The weather was always pleasant day-round.  There were several pets outside of the main house on the main cliff that you had befriended, while Xiao seemed to connect the most with one of the gray tabby cats near the entrance.  You had caught them sitting quietly together on several occasions.

"Granny would've loved this place," you sigh.

"I shall go with you to visit her grave."  He didn't look at you as he said this, but the sincerity of his words rang as clear as the sky above.  "...She'd be happy to know you're safe."

"All thanks to you."  Despite originally admiring the scenery, your eyes had drifted downward and landed on his stomach.  Both of you were fully healed by now because of Bennett, and neither of you had any lasting effects from your battles minus the required resting time.  Your side held a prominent scar both at your front and your back, but did Xiao even get scars?  He never revealed the answer--mostly because you were too embarrassed to ask--and thus leaving the idea to your imagination.

"I should probably check on the situation outside soon; it's been awhile since Aether updated us."  Xiao sat up and summoned his spear--he had mentioned a few times that it was difficult for him to relax here and needed to keep himself busy since a comfortable life is a foreign concept.

"Oh, right..."  Your gaze followed his figure as he rose to his feet.  Sensing your--what was it, disappointment?--Xiao turned to you and removed his flower crown before gently placing it atop your head.  That action was followed by a faint smile, then his lips lightly pecked the tip of your nose.

"I shouldn't be long."

"You two love birds have made quite the nest here!  I've gotta say, Aether's got great taste."  A familiar voice caught both of you off your guard and Xiao's stance became aggressively defensive in an instant.  You and Xiao were supposed to be the only ones in the teapot at the moment, and even then, those who did occasionally stay in here didn't greet you like this.  The person that voice belonged to wasn't welcome--or at least, belonged to a presumably-dead man--regardless of that savior act he pulled in Snezhnaya.

"Childe?"  More shocked than afraid, you too rose to your feet.  "What're you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?  I came here because I had something to say."  The harbinger was as carefree as ever, but as he walked towards you a slight limp became noticeable in his steps.  He was hiding an injury, but was it from Scaramouche or from Aether?

"What did you do to Aether?"  Xiao's voice was as low as a growl as he raised his spear higher.  He stood slightly ahead of you to ensure your safety since you no longer had a vision and couldn't use those mysterious anemo powers ever since the rescue.  And knowing you and your idiotic tendencies, he had to make sure you didn't do something stupid like try to fight Childe if provoked.

"Haha!  Relax!  Aether and Mr. Zhongli are doing just fine; in fact, they allowed me to enter!"  Childe hid a wince when he stopped walking, but noticed the flicker of recognition in your eyes.  His lips curled upward with flattery.   "Don't worry, ojou-chan.  A little scuff isn't going to take me out."

"I-I wasn't worrying about you."

He seemed unconvinced but faced Xiao again anyway.  "You'd be pleased to know that both Aether and Zhongli let me in on their own accord--no manipulation from me whatsoever."  The fact that he had to clarify that! "Why don't we chat over lunch?  I'll cook.  Show me to the kitchen, girlie?"

.............

To say that you and Xiao were staring was a bit of an understatement.  Here you were, both sitting at the dining table in the main hall of Aether's adeptal house watching Childe cook up a meal fit for a large family while expertly navigating the kitchen like it was his own.  And when he served you, the delicious aroma that wafted into your nose was nothing short of enticing.  You and Xiao withheld your utensils--one out of weariness, and the other because it's not almond tofu.

"What?"  Childe let out a slight chuckle as he took his seat and dug into his plate.  You have no idea how thankful he was that there were forks in the drawers instead of chopsticks.  "Oh, perhaps you two already ate before my arrival?  More for me then I suppose."  

"Um, so why are you here?"

"I figured I'd give you an update regarding our little situation outside."

"'Little?'"  Xiao couldn't contain his scoff.  He hadn't dismissed his weapon either, and it levitated beside his seat.

"Seems like the quiet life hasn't changed you one bit, yaksha."  The harbinger stopped stuffing his face and set his fork aside to look at you.  "Regarding what happened with Scaramouche, I think it's safe to say I won."

"If it weren't for you coming here today, I would've assumed your untimely demise."  Ignoring Xiao's look of disapproval, you reached for your utensils and started to eat.  Both of you hadn't taken your eyes off of the harbinger as he cooked, so the chances that he may have tampered with the ingredients were low.  Plus it'd be out of his character to go about eliminating enemies like that.  "I'm grateful that you saved my life, but don't think for a second that that makes up for everything you've done to us."

"Oh, I wouldn't dare.  I know I've been aggressive for lack of a better term, but I'd like you to know that I'm only like that when it comes to my duties as one of the eleven harbingers.  Aside from that, I'm happy to call you a comrade just as I view Aether and Zhongli."

"Woah woah woah," you nearly choked.  "I'm certainly not going to start viewing you as a friend now."  

Childe simply laughed at your objection.  "Think what you may, but I do respect you and the rest of Aether's party.  As for my motherland and it's affairs, I think you'd be happy to know that the Tsaritsa has stopped her pursuit of you and Xiao.  She's not exactly appreciative of you wrecking the palace and would like to avoid any further destruction that can hamper her current plans."

"That's all it took for her to leave us alone?  You must be joking."  The archon had spent so much time and resources on hunting and imprisoning you--the idea of her giving up just like that had to be unrealistic, right?  And the fact that Xiao managed to bring the entire palace down...there's got to be some sort of bounty on your heads.

Childe met your gaze and held a level of sincerity equivalent to the time when he confessed his feelings and offered you a position among the harbingers on Dragonspine.  "Not in the slightest.  Regardless, you're free to lead carefree lives from now on.  Though if you'd like to rejoin the Fatui I'm sure I can pull some--"

"Nope.  I'm done with that."

"Ha! Very well then."  Childe resumed eating with an amused grin on his face, but Xiao wasn't satisfied with this conversation yet.

"You've given us no reason to trust your words."  His stare was hard and calculating as he tried to decipher any hidden motives behind Childe's friendliness.  It wouldn't be unusual for this to be some kind of trick.  In fact, he expected that there'd be some sort of catch.

The harbinger sent a brief glance Xiao's way before guiding another forkful of food into his mouth and shrugging.  "...Like I said, think what you may.  I don't care if you two choose to live in this realm or in Teyvat with the rest of us.  But then again it must be incredibly boring for a guardian yaksha to be lounging around in this domestic place.  I know I'd be driven mad if I had to live in such a quiet place for so long."

Xiao didn't flinch or give any indication that he was right, but your eyes briefly flicked his way.  It was uncomfortable for him to be 'relaxing' here with nothing to do.  It wasn't surprising that he'd be yearning to go out and uphold his contract with Rex Lapis again.

............

"Childe, wait."  Your hand gripped his forearm rather aggressively as he reached for the door handle to take his leave.  Xiao had heard a disturbance outside and went to check on the realm just in case, so it was only the two of you inside the mansion.

"What is it, ojou-chan?  Miss me already?"

"Yeah right."  As he turned to face you, your grip lightened until you let go.  He hadn't called you 'Mezzetin' once since he got here, only referring to you with this nickname like old times...Childe raised a confused brow.  "Why?"

"...Why?  Why what?"

"Why did you save me?  You could've just let Scaramouche kill me back there.  So...why did you risk your life to save mine when you didn't care less when I was tortured?"  Your stance was firm as you faced him head-on.  "I need to know."

"Ah," Childe awkwardly scratched the back of his head, "that."  Some sort of conflict flickered in those blue eyes of his as he formulated an answer he didn't quite know himself.  "Like I said earlier ojou-chan, I've always seen you as a com--no.  As a friend.  Just as Zhongli and I converse despite the Osial controversy, I see you in the same light despite my loyalty to the Tsaritsa."

"That doesn't answer my question, though.  You had several opportunities to stop what was happening, and it was only then when you decided to step in.  So why then?  What changed your mind?"

"I don't know."

"Bullshit, Tartaglia.  There's got to be strings attached to this, right?  You expect something in return from me? Just get on with it already and tell me."

"I doubt you'd be satisfied with my answer regardless," he muttered mostly to himself.  "I may be kind of a bad guy, but I'm not completely heartless."  He observed the stumped expression that sat on your face as the gears turned in your head.  Then, he turned to the door again.  "When you're ready, you should join Mr. Zhongli and I for drinks sometime.  Farewell, girlie."  He was gone.

Despite the deep-rooted grudge you held against the harbinger now, you couldn't help but still hold some sense of familiarity or gratitude for him.  You might just take on that offer if only to purposely antagonize him at the dinner table.

......

"Xiao, how did you get your tattoo?" The two of you were sitting beneath another one of the many trees native to Liyue in the adeptal realm, still waiting for news regarding your return to the mortal realm.  Several days have passed since Childe paid you a visit, and Zhongli and Aether still had yet to check in on the two of you.  To keep Xiao occupied and keep him from worrying, you'd ask him questions.  "I don't have any of your memories of it."

Despite his memories being shared with you due to your bond, the further back in time they're from, the blurrier they got.  The oldest memory you could 'remember' dealt with the god that enslaved him, and even then, there was no mention of the mysterious green markings that sat on his arm.

"I've always had these markings," he answered gruffly.  He had sat up a moment prior with the intent to exit the teapot out of concern for your companions, but your random question caught him off guard.  His amber eyes narrowed cynically when your fingers traced them.

"Do they have a special meaning?"

"'Meaning?'"  His gaze averted for a moment as he decided whether or not to indulge such a topic.  But your eyes were so full of life as you traced his arm, and your touch was so warm...  "They represent my true form."

"True form?"  You tilted your head and attempted to picture whatever the heck he would be, but all you saw were a bunch of random shapes.  The other adepti in Liyue are shaped like deer and cranes, but what the heck was this mosaic supposed to be picturing?  "And, uh, what would that be?"

Xiao let out a tiresome sigh and realized he may have made a mistake in answering these questions.  Now that he had told you, you weren't going to stop asking until you got to see for yourself.  He never uses his true form; very few had ever seen it and those who have have already passed.  Zhongli had only ever seen it once.

Seeing his apparent concern made you raise a brow.  "No way.  Don't tell me your true form is a bug or something!"

"Tch.  Is that really what came to mind?"  Xiao shot you a glare before standing.  He was planning on walking away and ending the conversation, but your silent pleading made him reconsider almost instantly.  We are alone, he thought.  Perhaps I could show her once.  "Fine," he grumbled.  "Close your eyes."

You obeyed.  He didn't exactly say 'no' when you asked if he'd be a bug.  He wasn't going to appear as such...right?  Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the anticipation.  And just as your excitement grew, so did the winds that brushed past you.  Even the leaves in the tree above were shaking violently. Then, everything stilled.  Something soft brushed your fingertips, which were resting on your knees.  It was a cue.

"Hm?"  Xiao was no longer standing over you.  Instead stood a majestic bird with blue and green feathers that shimmered like glitter in the sunlight that filtered through the tree branches. "You're--!"

"--a bird," he finished.  He didn't say anything for a moment and allowed you to take it all in, seemingly shy or even embarrassed as you instantly reached out to touch him.

The blush that rushed to your cheeks was ignored by the both of you while your fingers grazed over the feathers that stuck up from the top of his head. He was beautiful; as breathtaking as a peacock, even.  Your fingers trailed down the back of his long neck, earning a rise of feathers as Xiao contemplated your movements.  His feathers were softer than the finest textiles in Liyue! And the tail feathers he had must've been as long as you are tall.  They glowed a light blue that's similar to the eyes of his mask.

"So beautiful," you whispered in adoration.  Xiao shifted his wait to his other foot.  "Thank you for showing me."  The fact that he did showed how much trust he placed in you--

The sound of a twig snapping scared the crap out of both of you--so much so that Xiao immediately transformed back into his mortal self.  Since he was so close to you though, it looked like he was sitting on you from the front angle.

"Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to check in--" Aether nearly stumbled when he approached you.  "Um...am I interrupting?"

"No!"

"The Vigilant Yaksha is BLUSHING?!"  Paimon squealed so loud that the three of you scowled.  "And what's with that sitting position?! You--"

"Paimon!" Aether swatted at his companion before she could say something that angered the yaksha.  "We came here for a reason!"

"Hey! Paimon is NOT a fly!"

"It's confirmed to be safe now.  You two can come home!"

"Wait, really?"  The two of you stood up.  "Are you sure?"

"Yep! There's no issue with the Fatui anymore.  Everyone's backed off.  We'll see you at the Pavilion for dinner to celebrate, okay? Don't be late!"  The two partners exited the realm in a flash.

"Ready?"  Xiao turned to you.

"Right now?! It's so sudd--"

"You don't have any belongings here anyways."  The statement cracked a smile on both faces.  "Let's go."  He reached to tap the symbol on his hand.

Your hand grabbed his.  "Wait!  Let me see you a little longer."  He was confused to say the least, but you didn't bother explaining how gorgeous he looked in the light right now.  Those amber eyes mirrored your own--though perhaps it'd be more accurate to say the opposite.  This is the last chapter of the crazy 'adventure' and the dangerous waltz with the Tsaritsa.  In just moments you'd be back in reality, return to Liyue Harbor, return to your Granny's grave, and he would return to his duty of protecting Liyue.  One more moment in this peaceful environment is all you need to admire him before life got hectic again.

Now your new adventure will be permanently at Xiao's side for however long your lifespan is: training with him, supporting him at his darkest moments, and loving him.  No matter what Teyvat brings next, you'll be able to take it on head-first despite lacking a vision and at his side.  You'll both thrive, not just survive.  And as you peered into his eyes, you could tell he felt the same.  "Okay," you nod.  "I'm ready."

[fridayfirefly]

Hardcore Hide-and-Seek

Read Hardcore Hide-and-Seek on AO3

Masterlist

Written for Maribat March Day 27 - Contest

There was a dull ache behind his temples that just wouldn't go away. The harsh, bright lights of his computer screen and the fact that he hadn't slept in almost 36 hours combined to give Tim a headache so powerful he could barely think.

"Sweetheart. Honeybunch. Cupcake. Darling." Marinette poked him in the shoulder after each pet name. "You need to go to bed now before you pass out on the keyboard." She gently pulled on his arm, guiding him away from the computer.

"Not yet. Give me... two more hours."

"No way. You need to sleep."

"I just need to finish this one program to search and identify every pedestrian walking by all five of Jason's safehouses, get it up and running, and check it for bugs. Then I can go to sleep."

Marinette groaned. "Nine hours, that's all I'm asking."

"You know how much can be done in nine hours? In nine hours Damian will have checked half of The Bowery, Cass and Steph will have combed through all of Crime Alley, and Dick and Babs will have hacked their way into every street-facing camera in Gotham."

"First of all, you're not going to find Jason if you're too tired to think straight. Second, finding Jason first means nothing if you're too tired to catch him." Marinette rolled her eyes. "Third, I think this whole contest is ridiculous. I swear, you Bats play the weirdest games."

"It isn't weird. It's good practice for our tracking abilities," protested Tim.

"It's extreme hide-and-seek tag, that's what it is. Now get to bed. If you get nine hours of sleep tonight, I'll help you catch Jason tomorrow morning."

"Fine." Tim cast one last longing look at the computer before Marinette pulled him out of the Batcave.

----------

The light of morning woke Tim up, reminding him that he had been too tired the night before to set an alarm. "What time is it?"

"It's nine in the morning. You were right that Cass and Steph searched through Crime Alley. They checked all three of Jason's safehouses but found nothing. Damian got sidetracked by an armed robbery while searching through The Bowery and was barely able to check a few blocks. Dick and Babs got access to the traffic camera and the video of two different security companies, but they weren't able to get any of your facial recognition programs to run on any of the feeds."

"Wait, what?" asked Tim, still not fully awake.

"I was serious about helping you. I don't do anything halfway," said Marinette.

Tim sat up, "That's great! Our odds of winning triple when we team up. What were you saying about Babs and Dick?"

"They can't get your facial recognition program to run."

"That's because I tweaked some of the code right at the end to require a confirmation from my laptop. That way if any of my codes fall into the wrong hands, I'll know." Tim grabbed his laptop off of his desk and opened it. A pop-up appeared in the corner of the screen.

[user: Babs requests access for FACIAL RECOGNITION]

There were three options underneath: YES, NO, and IMITATION RUN. Tim clicked the third.

"What does imitation run do?" asked Marinette.

"It will go through to all of the video feeds, but it won't actually flag anything. It will just run passively. Dick and Babs, however, won't know that."

"Clever. That should set Dick and Babs back. Now how are we going to find Jason?"

"Jason knows that we have programs to monitor anywhere where there are security cameras. That means he'll be staying away from traffic cameras. He's lying low - probably in a safehouse."

"Cass and Steph checked all three of the safehouses in Crime Alley," objected Marinette.

Tim shook his head. "Jason has more than three safehouses in Crime Alley. Those three are just the ones we know about."

"How are we going to find these safehouses?" asked Marinette. "If there's one thing Jason's good at, it's disappearing."

"That's the problem. Jason only has to last three more days before he wins. It's entirely possible for him to just hole up in his safehouse and never leave."

"On the other hand, that means that we've got him cornered once we figure out the location of his safehouse."

Tim nodded. "Let's get searching."

The problem with finding a safehouse is that there isn't much to do once a person is successfully hidden inside. It's impossible to search every single building in all of Crime Alley (though Steph and Cass together were giving a remarkably good effort of scouring for signs of Jason), so Tim and Marinette took a different approach.

"I designed the burner phones that all of the Bats use in our safehouses, which is how I know for certain that there are no trackers in them. However, if I send out a system update, they all update automatically. When the update is installed, it will send back a confirmation to the main servers. I can trace that message back to figure out the location of all of the burner phones."

"How long will that take?"

"Half an hour to get everything ready to send out a system update. Fifteen minutes after that before all the phones are updated and send their confirmation messages. From there we can start checking safehouses."

Marinette grinned. "See, I told you that you would think better with a full night of sleep."

"You were right," Tim admitted.

"You start the system update, I'm going to make breakfast."

Marinette left the bedroom and Tim wondered how he got so lucky as to have her with him.

----------

After collecting the locations of all the safehouse burner phones and cross-checking the results with the list of known safehouses, there were five unconfirmed safehouses left.

"Two in Crime Alley, two in The Bowery, and one in East End," reported Tim.

"Let's hit East End first, then move onto The Bowery, and end in Crime Alley," Marinette formulated the plan over a plate of pancakes. "What are the official rules to this game, anyway?"

"Jason got twelve hours to hide. Then we get five days to track him down and tag him. The winner gets to drive the Batmobile anytime Bruce isn't in town for the next six months."

Marinette playfully rolled her eyes. "Of course the prize is driving the Batmobile." Getting up from her finished breakfast, Marinette started putting on her coat and shoes. "Come on, Tim, let's go win you Batmobile privileges."

The apartment in East End was empty, save a few rats that scurried across the hallway of the apartment. Marinette wrinkled her nose and she peered out the grimy window. "Who's safehouse do you think this was?"

Tim fished a half-empty carton of cigarettes out of a drawer in the kitchen. "Jason's, probably, but given the amount of dust in here, I don't think he's been here for a while."

The brick house in The Bowery was a little cleaner but still abandoned. The little front yard was half dirt and half weeds. Pinned up on a bulletin board in the front hallway was an empty postcard decorated with the logo for Haly's Circus. Tim concluded that it was Dick's safehouse and they moved onto the next safehouse. It was in an apartment complex in Crown Point, the seediest district of The Bowery. It was stocked with knives, guns, and a box of neatly labeled poisons.

"Damian's safehouse?" guessed Marinette. "He's the only one I could see having poison kept on hand."

Tim nodded, "Probably."

The second-to-last safehouse was on the border between The Bowery and Crime Alley. It was small and run-down, but it seemed that at one point it had been well-maintained. The mailbox was hand-painted yellow, with blue letters reading: The Brown's.

"Stephanie's old house," said Tim, realization.

"Sentimental choice for a safehouse," noted Marinette.

It felt wrong to enter the house that Steph grew up in, so they moved on from it. There was no way Jason was inside, not when Steph and Babs had already search the known safehouses in Crime Alley.

Tim sighed as they drove to the last location. "We've only got one safehouse left to check. I'm not sure what we'll do if Jason isn't in it." Tim had forgotten to consider that Jason might have gotten a burner phone from somewhere else, other than the supply cupboard in the Batcave.

"If he isn't there then we'll go back to the drawing board, I suppose. But don't lose hope yet. I have a good feeling about this one," Marinette reasoned.

The final safe house was a nondescript apartment building: brown brick exterior, cigarette butts on the sidewalk, and grimy windows.

"Do you think this is it?" asked Marinette.

Tim shrugged. "We'll just have to find out."

There were eight apartments in the building, four on the first floor and four on the second. Tim and Marinette quickly swept the first floor, but none of the apartments were Jason's. They then moved to the second floor. Tim quickly picked up on a dusty footprint on the carpet. He recognized the tread-marks from the bottoms of Jason's shoes. "Second door on the left," whispered Tim. "You head outside and make sure he doesn't escape through the windows."

"I'll let you tag him," Marinette whispered in response, slipping down the stairs.

Tim waited a full minute for Marinette to get into position, then crept up to the door. Taking a deep breath, Tim waited for the moment to feel right. Then another breath. Bang!

Tim broke through the door, revealing Jason sitting on the bed, scrolling on his phone.

Jason swore and reached for the gun on the bedside table, but he didn't get a chance to fully react before Tim tagged him out.

"Goddammit!" Jason threw the gun on the bed in frustration. "How did you find me?"

"Burner phone," chimed in Marinette as she popped through the window.

"You said they didn't contain trackers," Jason accused.

"They don't. But when I issued a system update, they all sent a confirmation which I was able to track," Tim said smugly, trying not to gloat too hard.

Jason whipped open a drawer in the cramped kitchen and pulled out the burner phone, tossing it to Tim. "Next time, I'm picking out my own burner phone."

"If it wasn't the phone, we'd have found something else. Admit it, we were good," said Marinette.

Jason rolled his eyes. "Good job, Replacement. You too, Pixie Pop."

"See you at home," Marinette chirped. "Now that this silly contest is over, I have Tim to myself for the next two days. No more sharing his with his computer."

Tim smiled at the thought of finally spending time with Marinette. "Let's go."

"I thought you'd never ask."

@maribatmarch-2k21

[lxmonmallou]

Have you heard of the album Everywhere Until The End of Time by The Caretaker? Can I request angst with a S/O who has dementia with the demon brothers ? If you don't want to that's understandable, thank you!

I have not! But I can certainly do my best to provide on this prompt! I hope that this came out to your liking, nonnie! I did my best with information from the internet as well as personal experience))

MC with Dementia

Lucifer

Does his best to help MC out with remembering things that they will forget

Makes little notes for them on information they need to remember and puts it them all around the home so they’ve got constant reminder about the things they asked Lucifer to note.

Very careful with them, especially if they’re having a moment where they’re struggling to remember something or if they’re having struggles communicating. Will wait no matter how long it takes for them to say something and will help them if he can.

Very gentle, helping them out without acting condescending or talking down to them. He wants MC to trust him and not be afraid or ashamed to need help sometimes. However, he won’t coddle them, especially if they explain that they don’t want him to be overprotective with them.

Offers them all of his love regardless and makes sure they’re always aware that he’ll be there to support MC through all stages and with whatever they might need. They are his #1 priority

Mammon

Poor baby doesn’t understand fully at first, but definitely does his best to offer his help

If MC repeats a question they just asked, sometimes Mammon can forget what he answered the first time and just...stares blankly for a minute. Then with an ‘oh-!’ he repeats it with no issue.

Mammon is surprisingly one of the best brothers if MC goes through mood swings or a personality change. He knows it isn’t their fault and adapts well to their needs and current state.

If they misplace something and forget where it was, Mammon will stop at absolutely nothing to track it down and return it to his precious MC. Hell or high water.

No matter what stage of dimentia MC is in, Mammon will love them and do his best to give them whatever they need, whenever they need it. If he can’t do it himself, he’ll make sure one of his brothers can.

Leviathan

I have to admit, I think Leviathan would be one of the brothers that don’t fully..understand it? He struggles a little with understanding what MC needs and what happens with them, but is quick to learn once one of his brothers can tell him what he sort-of needs to do

Tries to offer a safe-space for MC. He tries to offer them safety and relaxation so they can focus less on trying to struggle and cope, and more on enjoying themselves.

Will teach MC how to play a game no matter what. If they forget it? Perfectly fine, he’ll gladly teach you again just as gentle as the first time. Motor skills or mind becoming disoriented. With your permission, he can gently hold your hands and guide you back through it or just offer physical support.

Once he fully grasps it, Leviathan becomes soft and gentle toward MC. Usually he would get frustrated if someone forgot something important to him, but he has no problem repeating it as long as MC asks him. 

From what I read, dimentia can cause problems in communication, which is something Leviathan struggles with to his own extent. I feel like he would probably try to put aside his own struggles to help MC remember the right words or assist them (with their permission) into saying what they’re struggling to say.

Satan

Satan is second only to Lucifer with how tender and careful he is with MC. He reads every book, studies every medical journal, consults every database on the disease and ultimately does his 100% best to properly care for MC when they need it.

Does MC need a reminder here and there? If Lucifer hasn’t done it, Satan is nearly always first. Problems with more abstract thoughts and thinking? Satan is happy to offer whatever MC asks of him.

If MC’s condition ever causes a loss of initiative or depression, he’s there to offer various things for them to try or ways to make it more desirable. He wants to let them know that he’ll help them live an amazing life with him, regardless of their condition.

Will read any book to them, no matter how many times he has to reread anything from a sentence to the entire book. I remember my grandmother hyperfixiated on a cookbook when she had dimentia, so if MC got that way then Satan would have 0 objections to reading with them.

Overall so tender with MC, but definitely trying to help them with their own independence. He wants to see them smile and be as happy as they possibly can be, and he’s willing to do anything for them to ensure that.

Asmodeus

Another brother I feel like might struggle in understanding things. He wouldn’t be neglectful, but I feel like he’d start out not fully grasping what it all means. Once he learns the different effects and stages dimentia can have, he’s much more careful about how he approaches the situation.

Will idly chat with MC if they’d like him to, hoping to pull their mind off of more complex thoughts that their mind may have trouble piecing together and just letting them have a bit of ease.

If MC has a problem completing a task that they used to before, Asmo has no problem helping them (if they ask). If not, then he will try his best to still support MC while they go about their schedule and do their tasks.

Still loves cuddling and snuggling with them, as his love language is physical touch. If MC would like, he’d love to give them a gentle back rub and facemask so he can ease them into peace. Even if he’s not as informed about MC’s condition, he’ll still find ways to make things easier while also sticking up for their independence.

Is definitely more of someone who tries to help in ways that are more indirect. He doesn’t want to try and make them feel bad or guilty for their condition and instead offers time and love when they need it. He always lets his MC know that his door is open anytime they want to wind down.

Beelzebub

Extremely soft and understanding, even if he doesn’t fully get everything that dementia can effect or cause. MC is a part of Beel’s family, and he’s a firm believer that family supports each other no matter what happens. MC is no different.

Similar to Mammon, Beel will adapt to whatever MC needs or wants at any given point. If they want him to be with them, he’s happy to scoop them up in his arms and tell them stories. If they want space, he gives it to them. MC knows he’s always going to support them.

Shows a lot of his understanding through acts of service. If MC loses place of something, he’ll get it. If MC hyperfixiates on a particular food, clothing, tv show, movie, or whatever else? Beel will make sure that they get it with no complaint. He may not be the best with fully using his own words, but he’s at MC’s beck and call in a heartbeat.

If MC becomes disoriented, Beel will try to ease them into a place that they can recooperate and get back on track. He’ll let them hold onto his arm, carry them, or just walk by them in case they need something. He’s strong, so he’ll do anything physical MC might need.

Beel may not be as educated on MC’s disorder as Satan or Lucifer might be, but he does his best to learn and look out for things that may hint that MC is struggling. He wants them to be happy and live their best life, so he offers as much support as a whole room filled with pillars.

Belphegor

Belphegor, in my 100% honest opinion, would probably be the worst of the brothers at first. He’s the baby of the family and a bit of a brat, so he’s used to everything being about him. Not only, but he’s lazy and sleeps a lot, which could be an issue for someone with a cognitive disorder that involves sleep issues, motor issues, struggling with basic things and repeating information. However, he does love MC with all of his heart. After seeing them struggle and deal with self-frustration, Belphegor will get over his act real quick and start being more helpful.

Although he does enjoy his 22 hours of daily sleep, Belphegor will be with MC if their dimentia is causing them to have sleeping problems. He’ll lay with them in the observatory and talk about the starts until they fall asleep. If they don’t or can’t sleep, he’ll just lay with them. Sure, he might get drowsy, but he’ll stay up if it means seeing to MC’s health.

If MC starts having more psychological issues, such as paranoia, depression, loneliness, or irritability, Belphegor is actually rather good at trying to soothe them. Even if they cannot be fully convinced, he’s patient and kind with them. If they’re lonely, he’ll welcome them with open arms to lie with him. He’ll rub their back and try to coo to them if they’re paranoid and try to assure MC that they’re safe.

If MC has issues recognizing things, Belphegor will gently remind them . He’s not rude or snobby with it and does his best to help MC with remembering if they can on their own. However, if they’re in the later stages of dementia and are struggling with it, he’ll softly help them with whatever it is they’re having a problem with.

All in all, Belphegor softens up with MC the longer he hangs around and understands what’s going on. If MC needs help or just a nice, long nap after a long day, his bed has an extra MC-shaped space for them to be in. He understands that it’s hard to live with something like this, but he loves them so much that he doesn’t mind the journey.

[spiritus-sonne]

"Celesvogel"

Details about my angel 'kintype

Honestly, I expected to wait at least several weeks, if not months, before making this writing, as I figured I’d have to do so much introspection and a lot of letting the thoughts just sit and simmer for an extended time before I would feel at all confirmed about saying I have a sixth ‘kintype. But I also realized that I can trace back feelings and experiences of this ‘type for over twenty years and I’ve actually been thinking on and off for the past few months what kind of alterhumanity I experience in regards to angels, especially since angel-hearted just didn’t seem to fit enough (though I may be angel-hearted, too, or it could just fall under the larger “monster-heartedness” I experience in relation to animalistic humanoids). Once I actually stopped to question why I wasn’t ever considering myself to have an angel ‘kintype and realized my reasoning basically came down to it “being too symbolic” in origin and that now I don’t see that as a valid sole reason to exclude it as a ‘kintype, a flood of thoughts came in and occupied my mind for the better part of a day relating to this angel aspect and why it may be a ‘kintype for me.

I did question if it’s really even an integral, deep part of myself and my identity and I realized the experiences I’ve had that provide a “yes” in answer to that. This is rather different than the processes I went through to figure out my other ‘kintypes (as either what kind of animal/creature they are or in just verifying to myself whether they were ‘kintypes or something else), but I feel like I sort of ‘blocked off’ part of my angel self, I created a kind of dam from recognizing it as the level and type of aspect it now seems to have always been, or at least developed into many years ago. Sure, I fully admit I could be wrong about this and maybe months or years down the road I will change my mind and realize this aspect isn’t a ‘kintype. But for now, I feel comfortable and good about believing it is a ‘kintype.

Because this kind of angel is so different from how most angelkin describe being such, even though it does hold notable similarities to popular and historical concepts of angels, so I’ve decided to coin my own ‘species’ term for it: celesvogel (based on celestial and the German word for bird, “vogel”). Heck, I already coined a species-specific term for my vampire ‘type and theropod ‘type, so this is basically right in line with that and allows me to more easily specify what kind of angel I’m talking about in my writing. Although it does seem to be largely based on my personal symbolic associations with the concept of angels, the experience itself is more than just symbolic. I’ve put together information about celesvogels based on my experiences and on, essentially, noemata I have of them--an intuitive knowledge that I pieced together through questioning different attributes and such of them.

I read what various other angelkin described as being the main attributes of what makes angels actually angels and found that though I related to and agreed with some of it, there was a lot I didn’t. In particular, most of them I read had largely Abrahamic, especially Christian, concepts of angels which I don’t connect with. I do not view celesvogels as being “servants of a monotheistic God”, or probably to any deities--they aren’t servants, at least not as followers in service to something. They don’t act the way they do because a higher power commands them to, they do it because that is how they are mentally and instinctively wired to act. They do hold some similarities in mind to that of humans, but they are far from mentally (let alone in body or power) being humans and shouldn’t be thought of as needing to act in a way that is “more human”. Due to their total lack of want, need, or ability to reproduce (they don’t have reproductive organs, for one, nor any other means to reproduce), I deciphered that they are probably created by some form of deity or other powerful entity, but not in the sense to be servants to that entity. Rather, they fulfill a purpose intended by the deity through their acts, behaviors, and instinct because that is just how they are as creatures, even without them having any knowledge or concept whatsoever of that particular deity or any deities, let alone them having conscious knowledge that what they are doing is specifically because a deity *wills* it. They are as much servants of a deity as whatever organism, including humans, are servants to evolution. They don’t act as they do because they are commanded to, they do it because it is in their inherent nature.

This, however, makes the concept of their free will kind of grey. I feel like they do have the ability to make at least some choices freely while others they do because that’s just how they are wired and they don’t even have the want to go against them. Again, this goes back to what I mentioned earlier to not try to “humanize” them--just because extensive free will is so important to us as humans, that doesn’t mean it holds the same weight for all creatures, and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. A creature doesn’t have to be oh-so human mentally and behaviorally in order to be “valid”, let alone good or even helpful. I feel that, ultimately, they still choose to make the actions they do toward or about a charge or whatever is in their stewardship--they still have to balance complex situations with questions of morals and ethics, including in ways that, honestly, I don’t fully understand right now--I feel I am part celesvogel, not fully one, when it comes down to it. Their actions have consequences, whether good, bad, or otherwise, and the actions of their charges have consequences, too, which the celesvogels have to weigh what to do or not to do. They have the ability to think and reason, and to learn from circumstances. To my understanding, they can’t “fall” since that would kind of go against what I described above.

The concept of angels as messengers of the divine doesn’t resonate to me for celesvogels, at the least not in any kind of direct sense of being messengers. Again, technically they may ultimately be tools, instruments, of a divine being to do whatever work it sees fit, and through that they could be seen as ‘delivering divine messages’ to their charges. Their duties involve things like stewardship to things, such as environments and ecosystems, as also being guides and/or guardians to charges (whether human or not), and even act as inspiration/creative muses. I also wouldn’t really call them warriors, but they can be very determined and fierce, especially when it comes to protecting something or someone. They aren’t mindless creatures of instinct either, nor are they devoid of emotion and personality--they have a spectrum of emotions, and such helps them bond further with and protect their charges, and they each have their own particular personality. I don’t think they have things like rank/hierarchy, including archangels, though they seem to have different roles based on the particular kind of duty they are doing (sentry, caretaker, guide, steward, etc.) that can vary over the course of their lives. Celesvogels also aren’t “fluffy” in what they do--they aren’t perfect beings, nor are they totally benevolent, and if anything they act as helpers and possibly balancers.

In regards to their bodies and appearance, they have incorporeal bodies rather than physical ones and have mental and spiritual abilities to allow them to communicate with physical beings. They are also capable of flight. I’m unsure what their forms would look like, beyond having feathered, bird-like wings on their backs, though I tend to think they have some level of shapeshifting ability--to what extent I don’t currently know, but their body form except for their wings seems to me almost arbitrary and not a big part of who, what, and the way they are. I think they aren’t particularly social with one another either and they are totally asexual and aromantic. Gender is also either null to them or fluid in the sense of changing based on shifting their forms. They also sometimes vocalize in what sounds like song--kind of like language-less choir singing. Perhaps they do it as one form of communication with their charges or even for the sake of self-expression.

Even though I don’t consider celesvogels to be “warriors” proper, I feel like they were still fierce protectors against incorporeal threats and with that they at times wielded swords or perhaps other melee weapons to use. I sometimes feel like I should be skilled in some kind of melee weaponry, and can feel the weight of a sword or some other weapon from my hand or sitting across my shoulder along with some objects evoking that sensation more when I hold them. I don’t feel remotely similar about ranged weapons, especially guns, and have retained a strong preference in fighting games toward using certain kinds of melee weaponry (particularly fond of the “Soul Calibur” game series). I remain unsure for now about whether celesvogels would receive any weaponry or fighting training or if they would just have innate knowledge of good ways to fight. I know when it comes to me in fighting games I am a button-masher who doesn't take time to think carefully about the opponent's moves and blocking or parrying them, but this is probably a lot because of my slow cognitive processing, so I actually can't think fast enough to react to the opponent's moves properly. I would like to think I could think and react faster as an actual-in-body angel. This weaponry aspect is also why the few original characters I have are wielders of melee-style weapons even though they live in a time similar to our modern era of technology and advanced guns. Though I don’t have the money nor great enough reason to seek out training to use some kind of melee weapon in real life.

Also on the subject of my OCs, my main one possesses some qualities of celesvogels. Actually, one of her names is “Angellore”, which was based on a Tristania song of the same name in which I first envisioned her. She’s a shapeshifter with a human, partially human, and fully nonhuman form, and she is a mix of human, domestic cat, and crow. In her partially human form, she has white (or mainly white) feathered wings on her back, a cat’s tail, claws, pointed ears, fangs, some feathers on the upper portion of her face, and solid black eyes. She wields a bladed staff and sharpened sais as her weapons. Angellore is also able to fly in that partially human form and is basically an “airbender” (to borrow a term from the “Avatar: The Last Airbender” universe). But it’s really just certain aspects of her personality and behavior, and the mix between feline, avian, and human which make her feel kind of “angelic”-based to me, especially a similarity to celesvogels in particular. My own experiences in being angel are marked by a similar such mix of avian, human, and other creature (perhaps feline--I already experience that from my cat theriotype and from my vampire ‘kintype, so it’s too hard to decipher currently); a blend of human and nonhuman animal.

Knowing all this, I honestly don’t even think these beings ever actually existed in this realm/universe, but heck, perhaps they could have or do. For me, this is a psychological experience, like my other ‘kintypes. As I have read and skimmed over various posts and forum threads about angelkin I feel a lack of a sense of belonging amongst them, for the most part. I can’t relate to the religious nor deity-based things, but even still, I’ve never actually found a notable sense of belonging in the therian and otherkin communities either, despite my care for them and irregular activity within them (I’ve always mostly lurked rather than been active). It’s interesting though that both my vampire and angel ‘types in some way keep me connected to the therian and otherkin communities--through my vampire ‘type I get times of being filled with wanting to have more of a voice and confidence in myself, and through angel I feel like trying to help others in some significant way.

[thelargefrye]

GRIMOIRE: TALE OF TALES. DAY O4.

── summary. trolls are causing some trouble so you and few of the boys go to handle it.

── roles. mages!ateez, mage!reader

── genre. fairy tail, magic, drama, romance, established poly relationship

── word count. 2.9k

── warnings. trolls kidnapping women, trolls are perverts, violence, fighting, once again a sucky fight scene

── main menu.

“a gang of trolls are coming and stealing the young women from our village. please come and help us save our people!” you read aloud with a rather overdramatically tone. your reading makes yunho and yeosang laugh. you then handed the flyer back to seonghwa who folded the paper up and placed it back inside his jacket.

“just trolls?” yunho asks from beside you and seonghwa nods without saying anything.

“should be an easy job then,” you say before adjusting the wrist strap that was connecting your magic to the rowboat in order to make it move. you look back up making eye contact with seonghwa who has an unreadable and rather emotionless expression on his face. “what’s wrong, hwa?”

he shakes his head, “nothing, i’m just trying to come up with a plan.”

“don’t think too hard. that’s how you get headaches,” you say and he nods his head letting you know that he hears your concern. but you know he is only nodding and agreeing as to not make you worry and fuss over him like you usually do. 

“is that the island?” yunho asks, pointing out the large and rather spooky looking island that was away from the main land of fiore. 

“looks like it,” seonghwa replies in sure tone as him and yeosang as to turn around and look at the island.

“it looks kind of scary, not going to lie. good thing mingi and wooyoung didn’t come on this, huh?” yunho laughs and you and yeosang nod in agreement knowing those two would complain throughout the whole mission because of how creepy the placed looked.

“hopefully it only looks spooky at night and not all the time,” you say in an attempt to comfort yunho.

once you reach the island, you four quickly dock the boat and step onto the beach looking around the area to see it was clear. you followed behind the three males as you walked along a dirt road and eventually arrived to the village.

walking into the village, you four are all immediately greeted by the villagers and the chief of the village.

“oh, thank you brave mages for coming to help us!” he thanked you all by shaking yours hand very excitedly and eagerly. the four of you then listen as he begins to go into greater details of the trolls and the kidnappings. “they’ve been coming every month when the moon is full and has been taking as many as five of our young women from ages nineteen to twenty-five.”

“do you know what’s happening to the women?” yunho asks and the chief shakes his head. 

“the next full moon is tomorrow night,” yeosang states from next to you.

“yes,” the chief says, letting out a sad sigh, “unfortunately, but now we might not have to worry about the trolls now that you four are here.”

“do you know where the trolls’ base is?” yeosang asked and the chief once more nodded and pointed towards the large mountain that could easily be used to overlook the whole island.

“pretty good base, if you ask me,” you say in a rather lighthearted tone. yunho nodded in agreement while yeosang gives a look for the tone you used in a rather serious situation. 

“do you have a place for us to stay? so we can rest and come up with a plan?” seonghwa asked and the older man once again nodded and guided you all to his house. 

“we don’t get a lot of visitors so we don’t have an inn, but my house is large enough for you four,” he explains and you can’t help but feel sad that no one every visits this island. so far the island wasn’t as spooky as it looked and in fact was very beautiful with the greenery and even the village.

“thankful my house has four rooms so–

“one room is fine for all of us,” seonghwa cuts him off and the chief looks surprised by what he says, “we’re a very close group and usually prefer to room together so it’s easier to plan mission,” seonghwa explains and it seems to answer the chief’s curiosity as he leads you all to one of his spare rooms.

you all thank him and bid him goodnight before yeosang closes the door. you let out an exhausted sigh as you drop your bag by the wall, kick your shoes off before diving into the bed. another sigh leaves your lips at the softness of the bed and you feel the dip on your right side before hands are coming and moving you. yunho moves you to lay on him and he comfortably tangles a hand in your hair.

“i’m so tired,” you say, dragging out some words to fully express your tiredness to the three males. yunho chuckles and yeosang only crawls onto the bed to rest beside you and yunho. you reach out for the blonde male and smile when your hand finds his head as you gently start to run your fingers through his locks. 

“hey, you three, no going to sleep,” seonghwa starts and you immediately let out a whine at his words, “if we create our plan now, then we can rest later until the night of the full moon,” he adds and you turn to look at him with tired eyes. he’s standing at the edge of the bed, his jacket thrown to the side and the first few buttons of his shirt are undone giving you a slight few of his chest. you back up at his eyes to finding him already staring at you and he gives you a little smirk before clearing his throat.

“so do you already have a plan?” yeosang asks and seonghwa nods his head. 

“i think we should let y/n get kidnapped with some of the village women, so she can protect them and us three will trail behind and infiltrate the base and cause a distraction so that y/n can help the women escape.”

“are you okay with this plan, y/n?” yunho asks and you nod your head, knowing that you can handle being by yourself.

“i can handle it, don’t worry!” you say looking at seonghwa with a smile that he gratefully returns. 

the next morning you all go to the chief with the plan seonghwa had come up with. at first the chief is surprised and about to object to it when seonghwa interrupts him.

“y/n is our strongest mage here, so she’ll protect all the women and get them out safely. 

“your people are safe in my hands, sir. don’t worry,” you say with a smile and eventually he agrees to allow you all to go through with the plan.

the rest of the day, you four prepared for tonight as well as the rest of the village. it was around noon when a young woman approached you with a pile of clothes.

“these are for tonight, so you can blend in easier with the rest of us,” she says and you thank her as you take the clothes from her. yunho comes up to and at the clothes you have in your arms curiously. you notice how the girl is looking at yunho with heart eyes and you can’t help but feel just a little jealous at her openly looking at him like that. but ignored the feeling because you knew you had no reason to be jealous.

“are you wearing this tonight?” he asks and you nod, “i bet you’ll look so cute! i can’t wait!” he says, making you let out a little laugh at his excitement. you glance over to see the girl looking a little shocked at his words but instead of doing or saying anything, she instead bids you both goodbye before turning and leaving. 

“how does it feel?” yeosang asked after you put the clothes on and was currently twirling around, watching as the skirt flew up a little due to your movement. 

“it feels nice. airy,” you say, running your hands over the patterned fabric. “i think i might wear more skirts in the future,” you add.

“i would not oppose to that,” yunho said from where he was seated on the bed. you only laugh and roll your eyes at him before turning to seonghwa.

“do you like it, hwa?”

“you look very pretty,” he says, turning to you with a smile on his face. you can’t help but to blush a little bit due to his words, even if you have heard them a hundred times. he still makes you flustered no matter what. “are you ready?” he then asks and you nod your head with a pumped and excited expression on your face. 

when night came, you were sitting with a few of the other girls in the village. you could tell they were all terrified and you did your best to let them know that you would do your best to protect them.

“are you sure you can handle all those trolls by yourself?”

“don’t worry, you’re in good hands with me! i’m not a s-class mage for nothing!” you tell them and they look at you in awe, surprised that you were such a powerful mage. “don’t underestimate the power of a woman.”

you looked over to see your three partners hiding away from the rest of the village. you could see they all had their serious faces and you turned away with a smile knowing that this would probably be another successful mission. 

suddenly, you felt the ground start to shake and you knew the trolls were near. soon enough you saw them running into the village, destroying stuff here and there until they got to the center part of the village where you all were. 

there were about ten muscly, blue-skinned trolls that were probably about 7-foot tall each. all of them were wearing the same thing, but you noticed each of them had different body markings on their arms and chest.

you managed to keep you head down, trying your best not to draw in too much unwanted attention from the trolls. the last thing you needed was for them to figure out you weren’t from the village.

the leader of the trolls and the chief were talking while the other nine gathered you and the girls along with some other items like food and alcohol. 

“look at how pretty these little human girls are,” one trolls says, eyeing you five and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at him. you did your best to fake a scared expression and it seemed to work because you couldn’t help but flinch and gasp in surprise when a large blue hand appears in front of your face.

“they even sound pretty too,” another one snickers. before they could say anything else, the leader of the group you assumed came up and ordered for the rest to grab everything and to head out.

you were picked up without warning and suddenly all the trolls started to move out and back up the mountain. you silently hope that the boys are right behind you all, but you don’t have time to think anymore as you reach the mountain base. you and the other girls are taken to some sort of cell where you find the other girls they had been previously kidnapped. 

you watch all the girls hug, happy to see that none of their friends had killed or eaten by the trolls. 

“what’s gonna happen to us?” one of the girls you were with asked one of the others. 

“they’ve been making us servants,” one of them answered, her voice full of sadness at the thought of possibly never getting out.

“don’t worry, the village has hired mages to come and save us. this is y/n, she’s one of them that is going to help us,” another girl you came with and all the ones that had been previously kidnapped all gasped in surprise and you could see their eyes well up in happiness at the thought of finally being free from this place.

“don’t worry, i’ll get us all out of here. both me and my partners.”

you tell them all you have to do now is wait for the boys to come and create a distraction. an hour goes by and you’ve already had to deal with several trolls coming by and making comments towards you and the other girls and you know that if the guys don’t hurry up, then you are going to break out of the cell and fight all these trolls yourself. 

soon enough you hear an explosion near the entrance of the base and several trolls rush over to see what happened. you notice that two trolls stay behind in order to guard your cells and take this as the opportunity to use your own magic to open the cell.

transforming your arm to were it turned into shape claws with green scales, you easily ripped open the cell door and smacked both trolls with it. throwing the now broken and dented cell door to the side, you stepped out of the cell and looked to see that the coast was clear.

“come on,” you say motioning for the girls to follow you and they all file out of the cell and behind you. “we need to be careful and quiet so that way those bastards don’t find us, okay?” you tell once you are all out of the cell.

“got it!” they whisper-shout in unison and you smile at them before turning and taking the lead in leading them out. running down a hallway, you stop when reaching a corner and carefully poke your head out to see no one. turning down a hallway, you reach a door and carefully as you could, you open the door before slipping through. you find around four trolls in the room and you carefully motion for the girls to all move quickly to the wall furthest from them.

“hey!” you shout gaining their attention. 

“what are you doing out of your cell!?” one of them shouts before charging towards you. you quickly roundhouse kick the troll in face sending him flying away from you and crashing into the door you just came out of.

the other three trolls let out growls and roars at you before charging at you all at once. you easily dodge their attacks before landing your own attacks on them with ease. you manage to roundhouse kick another troll sending him into another one, but failed to notice the one behind you who grabbed your leg and threw you into the nearest wall. 

a groan left your mouth as you pushed yourself off the ground to find the troll that threw you about to charge again. fortunately, a ball of fire came from seemingly nowhere and hit the trolls causing it to hit the ground harshly.

you look over to see, “yeosang!” you say happily as you stumble to stand up and rush over to him. you quickly hug him and he looks at you fondly before checking for any major injuries. “i’m fine,” you quickly say before gesturing to the girls behind him.

“alright, let’s get them out of here,” he says and you nod before motioning for them all to follow you once more. you have yeosang lead the way from where he came from and you find the rest of the way to the exit to be easy. you can only assume that he, seonghwa, and yunho had cleared out the rest of the base.

finally, you all make it to the exit where seonghwa and yunho are at and they both look relieved to see you all running towards them.

“did you all take them out?” you ask once you reach them and yunho nods with a cheeky grin on his face. the four of you then go to escort all the girls back to the village where all the villagers were waiting. 

you four watch as the girls all reunite with their families and friends and you feel a warmth flow through your chest at knowing they were all finally safe.

“thank you, thank you all, so much!” the chief says with tears in his eyes as he comes up to thank you all. he then rewards you with the promised payment, handing it off to seonghwa who puts it in his bag.

“please, stay for out celebration. as thanks for saving our women,” the chief says, but seonghwa denies.

“thank you, but we should be heading back to our guild to finish our mission report,” he says as you and the other two nod in agreement.

you change back into your normal clothes before grabbing your bag as you all bid the village one finally goodbye before heading back to the beach where you left your boat. 

as the boat moves across the water at a normal speed, yunho speaks up, “i’m glad we could save all those girls.”

“yeah, i definitely agree,” you reply with a smile knowing all the girls are safe and sound back home. 

“hey, isn’t the s-class trial coming up soon?” yeosang asks, looking over to you. you hum for a second thinking.

“yeah, they are coming up soon! are you guys excited?” you ask knowing that becoming s-class wizards was something they all wanted to achieve.

“we’ll become s-class wizards just you wait, y/n,” yunho says and you notice the determined look him, seonghwa, and yeosang have making you grin in return.

“i can’t wait.”

[clockworkouroboros]

hey this must seem like a really slime brain question, but how do you start/where do you start/where can you start reading the edas? i’ve been meaning to ask someone for a while you just seemed the least threatening

Not slime brain at all! Tbh you must have read my mind, anon, because I was just thinking about putting together a bit of a guide to the EDAs recently. I’m super excited about anyone reading these books because I do so love them, so I definitely was excited to get this ask!

As to the “where” of reading the EDAs, I’m not going to share a link to download PDFs in a post like this, but I am definitely willing to share such a link privately. While some of the books are definitely worth buying physical copies (in my opinion), it gets expensive. I mean, there are over 70 books in the series. (Especially with a lot of the really good books; I spent something like $50USD to get Interference Books I and II.) I think literally anyone on this website who talks about the EDAs has a link to PDFs, so asking literally anyone would be a safe bet. The rest of this post is going to be under a cut, because this is gonna get lengthy.

So. Reading the EDAs. There are a few questions to keep in mind: are you a completionist? Are you interested only in specific companions or specific story arcs? Do you just really want to see why everyone is talking about this Fitz dude and why he’s so in love with the Doctor? Do you just want to know which books aren’t really worth your time? Do you just want pretty Paul McGann? (which is totally valid, by the way.)

So, uh. I’m just going to go through the EDAs and make notes, which is why this is gonna get long real quick.

The Eight Doctors: I know it’s the first book in the series, but it’s more than okay to skip it. There’s basically no plot, it’s weirdly sexist, and although it introduces a companion, it fails to actually, y’know, introduce her as a character very well.

Vampire Science: Yes! Good book! Properly introduces Sam, the companion. Has a lot of things, including Eight with kittens, Eight baby-talking to bats, butterflies!, and great characters.

The Bodysnatchers: Not...that...great. If you’re a huge Litefoot stan, go for it. Otherwise, feel free to skip.

Genocide: Would recommend. The beginning of some good character development for Sam, a fairly short book, and again, interesting characters. 

War of the Daleks: Well. Uh. Imagine Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS, but boring. And there’s a sleazy guy who tries to hit on the Doctor’s underage companion. And Daleks. If that’s your cup of tea, go for it. 

Alien Bodies: First of all, this is a great book. Fantastic. Showing just how good experimental Doctor Who can be. It’s also the start of a very big arc that doesn’t fully resolve until The Ancestor Cell. Would recommend, and if you’re interested in the War in Heaven/Faction Paradox arc, this is your starting point! I have a physical copy of this one.

Kursaal: Unpopular opinion, but I enjoyed Kursaal. It’s not objectively great, but it’s fun. Featuring pretty Paul McGann, insulting people in Latin, and truly impressive displays of gardening. And, uh, gore. There’s some nasty gore. Not important in terms of arcs, so feel free to skip.

Option Lock: Listen, I love Justin Richards as much as the next person, but this book isn’t that great, nor is it all that important in the grand scheme of things. Not terrible, but probably not your time if you just want the highlights.

Longest Day: Okay, uh, I kind of detest this book, but it’s also the beginning of a mini arc that goes through Seeing I. All you need to know is the Doctor and Sam get separated. I wouldn’t really recommend.

Legacy of the Daleks: Not worth it.

Dreamstone Moon: A good read! One of those solid but not spectacular stories. Just good Doctor Who.

Seeing I: definitely would recommend. Featuring some much-needed Sam character development and an important thing for Eight (*cries*) that will come back in a bunch of other novels. Also refers back to some of the events of Alien Bodies. I have a physical copy of this one.

You can skip both Placebo Effect and Vanderdeken’s Children. 

The Scarlet Empress: Yessss, it’s really good. Standalone and a mix of sci-fi and fantasy, plus it introduces Iris Wildthyme, who is amazing and I love her. I have a physical copy of this one.

The Janus Conjunction: Unpopular opinion, but I liked it. It’s not amazing or anything, but it’s solid sci-fi pulp. Featuring pretty Eight. And a lot of gore. It’s by Trevor Baxendale. He kind of specializes in great descriptions and lots of gore.

Beltempest: If you’re into experimental Doctor Who, try this. If not, it’s not arc-important to anything, and it’s really, really weird, so feel free to skip it. I like it, though.

The Face-Eater: Kind of gross. Not that memorable. 

The Taint: This book isn’t objectively good, but it introduces a new companion, and that new companion is Fitz Kreiner, so I still have to recommend it. I just love Fitz so much. What a loser.

Demontage: A good story, and another good look at Fitz as a character! Standalone.

Revolution Man: Very important Fitz character development. And a good story. I have a physical copy of this one.

Dominion: There’s one scene that’s kind of gross, but beyond that, I believe it’s important for Sam. And it isn’t a terrible book, either.

Unnatural History: Yes. Yes yes yes. This is one of my all-time favorite Doctor Who stories. It’s important to the arc begun in Alien Bodies, so you’ll want that and Seeing I as prior reading. It’s. So good. I have a physical copy of this one.

Autumn Mist: Autumn Mist isn’t bad, but I’d say it’s skippable. Addresses some of the hanging threads in Unnatural History.

Interference (Books I and II): So uh. Interference comes in two books, both written by the same person. The story is fantastic. There’s a lot of torture, especially in the first book. Sam leaves. Fitz, uh, has some important character things. It introduces Compassion, a new companion. Resolves some of the arc begun in Alien Bodies and expands on it. I have physical copies of both books.

Most of Compassion’s novels are really good. I would feel awful about telling someone to skip The Blue Angel, The Taking of Planet 5, Frontier Worlds, Parallel 59, The Shadows of Avalon, The Fall of Yquatine, and Coldheart. Of that whole group, I’d say Parallel 59 is the most skippable? Maybe?? But the long and short of it is that all these books are really good. The Taking of Planet 5, The Shadows of Avalon, and The Fall of Yquatine are all important to the War in Heaven arc.

The Space Age and The Banquo Legacy are skippable. I know a lot of people who like the latter, though so maybe give it a try! I personally didn’t like it, but that’s only my opinion, which is very subjective!

The Ancestor Cell: Uh. Resolves the story arc that’s been going on since Alien Bodies. So if you’ve been following that arc, yeah, it’s important. Do I like the book? Well, that’s a different question. I like parts of it. It also has a few very big very important Spoiler-y things that are important to the rest of the series.

The next five books are all part of a new arc, usually called the Earth arc. The Doctor (SPOILERS, but it’s Eight, so is it really?) has amnesia, and he’s stuck on Earth. I’d say four of the five books aren’t really bad, but some are more worth reading than others. They’re all interesting in that they examine an amnesiac Doctor really well.

The Burning: skippable. I don’t remember most of the plot. I vaguely recall the Doctor being really, uh, violent? (Part of the whole amnesiac thing.)

Casualties of War: super gory. Not terrible, but not a favorite of mine. I have friends who enjoyed it, though!

The Turing Test: yes pleasereadityesit’ssogoodplease - uh. A great queer novel, actually? Featuring Eight and Alan Turing? Made me cry, but like, it’s good?? I still haven’t bought a physical copy but I’ve been meaning to.

Endgame: Terrance Dicks, who’s an old hand at Doctor Who and also wrote the first EDA, the one I said not to read? He wrote this. And it’s amazing. Pretty standard Doctor Who fare, with characters that Dicks created but only he ever used, but it’s real good. Real real good. I loved his characterization of amnesiac Eight.

Father Time: warning: I kind of hate this book. It’s in my three least-favorite EDAs. I have...a lot of issues with it. That being said, it’s apparently a fan favorite. A lot of people like Father Time, and that’s okay! It’s a highly rated EDA that I just so happen to detest! If you want to try it, go for it, just know that I personally wouldn’t recommend it.

Escape Velocity: This book ends the earth arc, brings back Fitz, and introduces the new companion, Anji. It’s also not that great of a book, but hey, it’s important because it gives a lot of background for Anji’s character that will be instrumental in her character development.

EarthWorld: a lot of these upcoming books are standalone, and a lot of them are pretty good. EarthWorld is no exception. Would recommend. Lots of great hijinks.

Vanishing Point: Not a bad book, not a favorite. I’m not recommending it, but I’m also not trying to dissuade anyone from reading it.

Eater of Wasps: Uh. As the title suggests, maybe don’t read the book if you have a bee/wasp/stinging insect phobia. No, I definitely don’t know this from personal experience. :)))))) Other than that, though, a good book.

The Year of Intelligent Tigers: Yes. 100%. Read this book. Please. You won’t regret it. Eight has a composer boyfriend named Karl, there are giant tigers, this kind of solidifies Eight/Fitz/Anji as a favorite TARDIS team for me.

I’d say that The Slow Empire and Dark Progeny are both skippable. Not that they’re bad, but they’re not on the same level as a lot of the other books being put out in the series at this time.

City of the Dead: so good. I don’t know if you’re an Eight audio fan, anon, but Lloyd Rose also wrote the audio Caerdroia, and she brings the same kind of humor to this novel. Gosh. It’s so good. 

Grimm Reality: very dense, but enjoyable. It takes most people forever and a day to finish, though, just because there’s so much going on.

Adventuress of Henrietta Street: this is where the new arc begins. :) It won’t hurt you at all. :) If you’re interested in any of the Sabbath-related arcs, this is the starting point. :) There are various ending points for this arc, alternatively at Camera Obscura, Timeless, and Sometime Never.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen: ridiculous and good. If you just read Adventuress, you need a book like this. And it’s good, anyway. Talking poodles. From outer space. Standalone.

Hope: important character development for Anji!

Arachnophobia: A bit scary. Still would recommend. Standalone.

Trading Futures: it’s really telling how good the books are at this point that this is the weakest one in my opinion. I just have a chip on my shoulder about Lance Parkin EDAs, apparently. (He wrote Father Time, as well.) It’s not bad, but if there’s one in this whole sequence that I would consider skippable, it’s this one.

The Book of the Still: Yes. Please. Heck. The best description of Eight I’ve ever read, and there are a lot of good ones across the 74 or so books I’ve read featuring Eight. Also, if you’re a huge Eight/Fitz shipper, this is the book for you! I spent like $30USD on a physical copy it’s definitely worth every penny.

The Crooked World: Yes. Ridiculous and goofy and silly and also surprisingly deep. Try to imagine the Doctor and co. landing on a cartoon world, with cartoon physics. Now imagine that, but it’s got an interesting and heartfelt plot underneath the cartoon hijinks.

History 101: A good book, and important to the Sabbath arc started in Adventuress! Would rec.

Camera Obscura: Another Lloyd Rose book, one that kind of ends a large part of the Sabbath arc, and just really good. Heck. So good.

Time Zero: this one will rip your heart out in the first few pages and you’ll thank Justin Richards for it. Also begins a new arc, but of all the arcs you could read, I’d recommend this one the least. Each book after this through Timeless is part of this arc. It gets pretty depressing.

The Infinity Race: Not bad, not good. Take it or leave it.

The Domino Effect: Wouldn’t recommend. Seriously.

Reckless Engineering: Not...terrible. But depressing.

The Last Resort: Super confusing, very arc-heavy. Not that it’s bad, just that it’s not good.

Timeless: ends the arc started in Time Zero and has some good bits. Anji’s last EDA, so if you like her, I’d recommend it. Also introduces Trix, the new companion! (Sort of...)

Emotional Chemistry: If you like Fitz, read this book. There’s other plot, but a large part of it is Fitz character study. And I love it.

Sometime Never...: One of my favorite Justin Richards EDAs. Great character work. Fun story. Ends the Sabbath arc.

Halflife: If you ship Eight/Fitz, read this book. Otherwise, it’s not a bad book, but you could do better things with your time. I vaguely recall some Trix character development, but the Eight/Fitz is what really sticks with you.

The Tomorrow Windows: Douglas Adams Lite. Not as funny as Douglas Adams. Overall impression: meh.

The Sleep of Reason: Wouldn’t recommend. Trix is referred to as “the blonde bitch” 90% of the time, the Doctor and co don’t even make any appearances until nearly 100 pages in, and it’s just kind of disappointing. Martin Day, the author, has this weird fascination with mental institutions? Weird and kinda yikes.

The Deadstone Memorial: It’s Baxendale, so it’s gory. But it’s not bad! One of the better late EDAs, imo. And for the subject matter, it’s surprisingly wholesome.

To The Slaughter: Now this, this is what I’m talking about. One of my top Eight/Fitz/Trix stories, alongside Emotional Chemistry and Sometime Never. (And what the hell, Halflife. What can I say: I love Eight/Fitz.) It’s got some great Fitz characterization, I love Trix, and I love Eight. Really the half-a-brain-cell-at-best team. We stan.

The Gallifrey Chronicles: Nah. Don’t bother. Not really worth your time. Unless you want to read it and cry about the vore with me.

So there you have it! A ridiculously in-depth look at my EDAs recommendations! Uh. You can always start from the beginning, or you can go based on recommendations or what looks like it will suit your fancy, or you can pick an arc and read it through to the end. There’s really no perfect way to read them. Please, please dm me or something if you want a link to PDFs of the books, I’m happy to share it, and I hope you enjoy the EDAs!!

[imaginesbymk]

PINK + WHITE.

—CHAPTER SEVEN ; FINN, ALL GROWN UP.

summary: teresa’s permanent resignation from the peaky blinders leads her to a whole new chapter of working in an art museum. but little did she know her best life would be butchered some time later when her former lover tommy shelby gives her no choice but to return to the peaky blinders after they make new enemies, with the leader, of all people, being the man teresa fell in love with one night after a wedding reception back in post world war; luca changretta.

pairing: luca changretta x OC x tommy shelby

tags in this chapter: swearing, smoking

[ chapter index / meet my oc / wattpad link ]

"Just remember, never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line." - The Princess Bride (1987)

"PENARTH ART GALLERY." Tommy cleared his throat before speaking to the operator on the telephone. He pulled a long drag off his cigarette as he waited, even though he knew his call would lead to no avail. He hasn't heard back from her in hours. It wasn't even that difficult of an instruction: reach back to him with her mind made up once she finished her errand in Camden town. Either Teresa forgot, was abducted, killed, or she never kept true to her word when she agreed to phone him. Tommy needed a response so desperately. It had been a while since the vendetta began, and he doubt he would be spared a second to take a deep breath before the Changretta mob comes in to take them out by surprise. He needed an answer now.

No response. He slams the receiver shut, almost nearly breaking the telephone, and sighs. If Tommy had to pick up and reach the operator, the same response of no communication on the other end of the line would come up once more. No point.

Groaning in exhaustion, Tommy rubs his nose bridge as Polly walks in, noticing him leaning back in his chair.

"I told you," she says. "she won't come back."

Tommy grunts. "She will. Just give it a few hours."

"We gave her a day, Tommy. Now we're giving her a few hours?" Polly slams Tommy's diary containing weekly schedules & anything important jotted in black ink, each were separated with a blank box. She flipped to the bookmarked page that highlighted one day of the week, a star coloured in the margins. She jabs a finger on it. "The boxing match. We're losing time."

"Yes, Pol. I'm aware," Tommy says, annoyed. It's not like he wasn't giving Aberama Gold's son a dream of being a boxing champion and possible boxing career in exchange for extra hands to have blood on them in a vendetta. "And what other things I'm aware of that you have to tell me?"

"Are you also aware that Teresa Griffith is no walk in the park—"

"Neither of us are, Polly."

"Are you aware that Teresa Griffith is no walk in the park," Polly repeated her sentence, sternly this time, "and that begging for her help is no use? We've got what we already need, why do you still need her? You miss her?"

"Teresa will reach out to Luca Changretta."

"For what? A fuck while he isn't looking?"

"I've dug deeper, Pol. He's scavenging for things to claim in all of Britain. If he'll start with Alfie Solomon's business, that means he's not shy to come after Teresa's. The Penarth art gallery will be signed under the Changretta name so she will try to withdraw the unjust negotiation, which will give us more time to reach out to Michael's updates before Bonnie and Goliath will face each other in the ring." Tommy slammed his diary, brushing off his wonder on how Polly was able to gain access to it in the first place when it's usually Lizzie who technically is only allowed to touch it.

Polly stared at him with a hint of dread.

"What is it?"

Frustrating as it is, Polly really didn't have the answer to pinpoint. "I read her tea leaves before she walked out on us. It said she'll lose what she loves the most."

"What or who?"

"I couldn't tell. But I imagine it being her new chapter. But now it makes much more sense. She'll lose the gallery, perhaps."

Tommy leans forward to look up closer to Aunt Polly. "So like I said, give it a few hours. I know she will come back. I doubt she keeps a handgun in her glove compartment anymore. I'll ensure her safety and keep the gallery up under her name. She needs us just as much as we need her."

Polly let out a small sigh, collecting the heavy-weighted diary to carry out with her through the same way she came in. Let's hope...

Returning to Penarth was a relief. Teresa was far away from the next person who could get on her last nerve, unless one of the tour guides or management decides to point out a small circumstance to the owner, but the Welsh woman found comfort and bliss when she looks up at a painting made by an iconic artist that speaks through their canvas.

"We should really put up more exit signs, Miss," one of the tour guides said to Teresa as they walked down the halls together. "some of the guests have been getting lost with the new corridors. And they were wondering about the empty room upstairs?"

"I've spoken to people from Nice. They loved what we did with the exhibition and they want to place up more paintings, so I saved some extra room."

"On... the second floor?"

"Why not?" Teresa shrugs. "We've set up enough for the main floor, second floor should be okay as well." And she walked down the opposite direction, hoping the tour guide wasn't gonna follow her and object the display plans.

"Miss Griffith," an exhausted employee rushes over to her, clearly out of breath from searching around the entire building for one woman. "Your office is being blown up with phone calls from Birmingham."

Teresa frowns. Did Mr. Shelby not take the hint already?

"Shall I leave a message?"

"Just ignore it. Probably someone looking to pest. We've no time for that," Teresa let out a sigh, continuing down the way she meant to go through, passing a couple of guests who read each art piece like a picture book. She had to frown again. The least she could do was answer one phone call from the man, say the word and he'd leave her be. Ignoring him would push him towards her even more.

Teresa rested her walking by standing in front of the painting. The painting, to emphasize—the one Luca pointed out to her when they first met. She hadn't looked at it in so long. Every time she passed that wall, she just had to avoid making eye contact. How ridiculous it is to look away from art, which is the opposite of the common reaction. But it was a painting only Teresa felt like a curse. Teresa doubted Luca even cared about what the painting was, since his excuse to reel her attention was to poke fun about what she loved. If only she could gain that much luck of approval to remove the piece off of that wall with her bare hands. Disrespectful and unprofessional, yes. But if she had the chance to, she would do it.

Now his voice spoke just as loud as the form of the oil painting. You were just another woman.

Teresa shook her head. It was indeed an awkward encounter, and if she had to describe it; maybe it was a heartbreak about another.

It doesn't matter anymore. Luca is here on business, to kill the man whose phone calls you're ignoring, but that is okay. You're not a Peaky Blinder. It's time to turn around and move on...

She did turn around actually, just to be greeted with another familiar face.

"Finn?"

SHE had to chuckle in disbelief. Seeing Finn holding a cigarette in his hand so casually just proves that he was no stranger to the addicting habit. He was the youngest of the family and Teresa used to chase him around the streets in a game of tag. He was much shorter than she was, voice higher, and after watching them, he mimicked the little things his older brothers did, even though it was dangerous for a young boy like him to fully understand.

"Do they know that you're here?" Teresa took a puff out of hers.

"Arthur sent me," Finn replied.

Teresa rolls her eyes. "Right," she mutters under her breath. She kicked a few rocks on the large paved steps that laid out as the entrance of her gallery. "Don't tell me. You're here to scold me for ignoring Tommy. It's not like I don't get migraines from my telephone ringing so fucking much."

"Why are you avoiding him, Teresa? Even when you were at the Garrison, agreeing to let Tommy fill you in on what needs to be done. He would of thought you got shot, otherwise."

"I went to Camden and then came back here."

"Without giving him a final decision?"

"He should get the hint by now. Is that bastard so desperate for a decoy? I doubt the Italians would fall for another trap." That was another thing she was informed about. Polly and Tommy's plan was a semi-success, however Luca Changretta is still alive, and his blood must be boiling because of how much time he had wasted sparing Michael's life when he had the chance to shoot him in cold blood.

"Luca Changretta will come after Alfie Solomons' business, as he will yours," Finn says. "He will come here and make you hand it over to his family or he will kill you. Whether he does that before or after killing us all, it will happen sooner or later."

Typical Luca. If he really thought she was just another woman, he would definitely threaten her over her business. "Did Tommy tell you to say all of that?" she chuckled.

Finn shrugs. "Maybe. But it's good that you know now. So, that gives you a valid reason to help?"

Teresa grinned. "The last time I saw you, you wore tiny suspenders, even your shoes were tiny. I could of lifted you like a doll from a toy store. Look at yourself, Finn."

"I can't, that's physically impossible."

"Finn, all grown up!" Teresa teases, using her hand to pinch together his rosy cheeks.

Finn groans in annoyance, rubbing his cheek to sooth the stinging pain after shoving her hand off him. "Fuck's sake, Teresa! We need you! You were big help when you were last with us, and you can still be the big help. Seriously, you're all our last bet."

"Tell Tommy I need more time to think about it."

"Teresa, there isn't any more time. We're out of it. We need a solid answer now."

"You guys did fine without me. Am I still being used a distraction? What if Tommy wants me as a mole?"

"He won't. That's not something we do often, most of the time it doesn't end up working out."

"Finn..." Teresa shook her head, taking him seriously this time. "I can't help kill Luca Changretta. I thought about it but I promised to never get involved with the Peaky Blinders, or anything that would paint me as a criminal. If things didn't happen the way it did, I would of said yes without a second thought."

Finn furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about?"

She let out a soft sigh, hoping the pain would burn out like the end of her cigarette. "Because I knew Luca. He and I were once lovers."

+ basically,,,,, teresa wants to help but at the same time she doesn't want to help lmfaoo.

[tlbodine]

Self-Talk

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_monologue

It has recently come to my attention that there are a lot of people out there who don’t think in words but rather in images, numbers, abstract sensations, etc. Obviously I knew this was the case for some folks, but I always kind of assumed that inner speech was the “common” or “default” for neurotypicals and I’m sort of shocked to discover that apparently it’s not? Like different things I’ve been reading today suggest that it’s more of a 50/50 split or even 40/60 in favor of images. 

This blows my mind. 

I am super deeply curious what in the world the inside of other people’s brains are like! So please! PLEASE! Come here and tell me all about what goes on inside your head and what the shape of your thoughts are and how you engage with life on a day-by-day! 

For me, personally...well! Rambling under the cut! Brains are neat!

First off, there is always a song playing in there somewhere. I think most people get earworms, but I’m not sure if they’re constant? For me they are. I can sometimes change the song, a little bit like a jukebox, but it’s always there. Right now it’s “Home for the Holidays” for some reason I cannot begin to fathom. I can shut up the song in my head by playing actual music out loud, which is one reason why I prefer to work with music. 

I have inner speech running ALL the time. I also sub-vocalize when I read (ie, read each word aloud in my brain). The voice I read in is the same as the voice I think in. That voice doesn’t exactly sound like my real voice when I speak aloud. But that voice is “me.” That’s the “me” part of my brain. The “me” part of my brain is always talking. It’s usually delivering a lecture of some sort -- a lot of my thoughts sound exactly like Tumblr posts or articles. If it’s not lecturing, it’s instructing in some way, like it’s verbally giving orders or directing my meat-vessel to do various things. I think through to-do lists and plans a lot. I give a lot of internal commentary to the things I experience. 

The “me” voice always speaks as though it has an audience even though it’s just in my head. (When I was a child, I often imagined myself as the host of an educational TV show, delivering my thoughts to the audience. As an adult, well, the internet exists, so I don’t have to pretend, I can just word-spew at you folks. You’re welcome?) 

I can visualize things, and am actually pretty good at it. Like, I can look at an object and sort of turn it around in my brain to see what it would look like from different angles (like, I could match a puzzle piece with an empty space by looking at it, even if it was upside down). But the images are rarely more than flashes unless I put a LOT of effort into concentrating and imagining them. Like if you tell me to imagine an elephant, I’ll see it in my brain in a series of glimpses that all kind of piece together to illustrate the concept of “elephant.” I can’t hold the whole image in my brain at the same time without concentrating VERY hard. 

Oddly, obtrusive thoughts are always images. 

They show up out of nowhere, unbidden and very vivid. If the “me” voice is quiet, the images are more likely to rise up. This is probably why I keep that internal chatter and song running 24/7 -- a sort of defense against the image-part of my brain that does things I can’t control. I have mental compulsions where I have to consciously think certain things in order to drown out the other thing.

Sometimes OCD brain also serves up doubts. The doubt is not an image or a thought in words, it’s just a sort of feeling or sensation that questions whatever “me” brain is saying. Kind of like how when you’re talking to someone and you can see from their expression that they’re skeptical even though they don’t say anything? When the doubts happen, “me” brain starts trying harder to justify itself, thinking around in circles. That’s when I get worked up and basically gas-light myself. When this happens I call it “getting too deep in my own head.” 

Sometimes the doubts come in the form of OTHER people’s voices, and “me” brain argues with them. Sometimes that gets very upsetting because it feels exactly like actually arguing with them, and it’s very easy to forget that the version of people that lives in my brain is not, in fact, the real person. (More often than not, the person I argue with in my brain is my mother. But sometimes it’s my husband, my boss, random people on social media, etc.) 

Curiously, ideas come as images, from the same place as the obtrusive thoughts. They just show up.  While this is happening, I am usually vaguely aware of a background process where some part of my brain is cross-referencing and connecting things. It spots patterns and generates metaphors. I don’t think them up with “me” brain, they just sort of bubble up and I translate them into words. This is an almost-physical sensation. I can sort of guide the process into happening, but I don’t really control it. 

In practice, this means that ideas (like for stories) show up as very brief flashes of image + a sort of ephemeral web of feeling and interconnected ideas. There is the feeling that this is a brief glimpse at something that exists whole and finished and fully realized....somewhere else, in some place I can’t access. The whole process of writing is exploring the idea, visualizing it, and then translating it into words. It is EXHAUSTING until I can manage to slip into flow and cut out all the conscious thought processes between brain and keyboard. 

This is also why I can’t outline. Outlines are created by that talking, thinking, “me” brain. Those stories aren’t good. The good ones are the ones that bubble up from wherever the pictures come from. 

....huh. I just learned a bunch of stuff about myself in the process of thinking that though. That’s kinda neat. 

How bout you though? How does YOUR brain work?

[scaredofthebasement-blog]

When Love Walks In - Chpt 16

Chpt 16

(2nd Edit July 30, 2019)

Auston Makes a Calculated Move to Get Close to Dr Quinn

2450 Words

Warning:  Cursing

Dr Wright touches Dr Quinn’s arm affectionately and they both proceed to move through Auston’s doorway into the room.

“There’s our star patient, breathing with his new tube in!  You did great in surgery today, Auston.  I was just telling Dr Quinn that everything went well.  How does the new tube feel?” Dr Wright announces.

Auston gives a thumbs up.

“Great!”  Dr Wright reminds Auston that the holes in the tube allow air to pass from the lungs up through the vocal cords and out through the mouth and nose, allowing breathing through the mouth.

“So Julie showed you the exercises and technique for breathing?”  Dr Wright asks.  

Auston shakes his head - yes.

“Do you have any questions or concerns about the new tube?”  Dr Wright continues.

Auston shakes his head - no.

Dr Wright goes on, “After you’ve used this tube for five days, if everything goes well, the next step is Corking, which will allow you to breathe fully on your own, solely through your mouth and nose, instead of your throat.”

Auston’s growing impatient.  Okay!  Dr Wright, I think you’re great but can you move along now?  Holy fuck! I’ve waited all bloody week to see her, and she’ll probably have to go in a minute.  Give me some god damn alone time!  Auston is freaking inside.

Dr Wright continues, “And you may recall that Dr Quinn will be giving you the go-ahead to try to speak at that point, and then you’ll get to go home!”  

That’s fucking music to my fucking ears, Doc!  He screams to himself, feeling punchy.  A combination of not enough sleep, nerves and desperation, he figures.

“Auston.  I’m sorry, I missed your procedure”, Dr Quinn says as she steps closer to him at his bedside.

You’re forgiven, Auston says to himself as he catches his breath, smiles and nods, appreciating her body and essence up close; while acknowledging her apology.  

Sweetheart, if only you knew; you could do anything, and I would forgive you.

Dr Quinn continues playfully, “Have you noticed something missing from your room?  One of your best friends is gone.”

Huh?  Auston looks around wondering who she’s talking about.

“Your heart monitor is gone! Bet you’re glad to say goodbye to that noisy thing eh?”

Oh, Sunshine, you have no idea...and thank god for that sweet mercy.

“Also, no Ventilator!  You did it, Auston!  You’re getting there.  Slow and steady, right?”  Dr Quinn is upbeat.  She is really happy for Auston.  She looks to gauge his reaction.  

Auston is distracted. Taking advantage of the heart monitor being gone, he looks to find clues to see if Dr Quinn is in love with Dr Peters.  He starts scanning her body.

While the two doctors take a moment to talk amongst themselves, Auston begins running an internal dialogue with himself:  No visible hickeys.  No obvious swollen lips.  No mussed up hair…well, I’m sure she would have showered after.  No scuff marks on her face from Dr McDreamy’s stubble.  Didn’t notice an uncomfortable walk.  Hard to tell.  Does she seem ‘over the moon’?  Shit!  I don’t know!

“Auston?”  Alex calls to get his attention.  She’s wearing a grin as she’s been watching him.  She has to chuckle to herself, for her brother is gone and she finds it both adorable and hilarious.

Auston snaps out of his covert mission.

Huh?  He looks at Alex.  He sees that she’s caught him.  He rolls his eyes at her ‘know-it-all’ smirk.

“Dr Wright just said she needs to leave”, she tells him.

“Yes, Auston, if you’re alright and you don’t have any questions, I will leave you as I have another procedure to perform”, she advises.

Auston gives Dr Wright the thumbs up and mouths, thank you.

“Your most welcome, Auston. If anything comes up that you would like to discuss, please know that both myself and Dr Quinn are here for you. I’ll be following up with you tomorrow”, She says, smiling as she bids farewell to the group and leaves the room.

Just then, Dr Quinn grabs a chair and pulls it closer to Auston’s left-hand bedside.  

Alex takes that as her cue and makes an excuse that she needs to run an errand and will be back in about an hour or so.

They are together now. Alone.

Finally!  Auston is relieved and excited.  Here we go!

“So Auston, how are you doing?”  Dr Quinn asks.

What do I say?  He wonders to himself.

“Auston?”  Dr Quinn repeats.

“Sorry, what?”  He writes.

“How are you doing?” She asks with genuine concern.

“Just peachy”, he writes to be sarcastic.  He’s forgiven her but he can’t forget what she put him through this past week.

“You?”  He adds.

“Ha! Peachy, Auston. Such a kidder.  Me, I’ve been busy, but pretty good”, She tells him.

Auston has to smile at her reply.  But he isn’t about to dabble in small talk after spending a week thinking on her ‘Dr Peters’ situation.  

“How was your date?” He gets right to it.

“Uhm, good.  You’ll be happy to know that I now have a life.”  She says with a nervous giggle.

Auston is crushed.  He feels as if his heart has just been stomped on. He is sure it is the most devastating news he has ever received.  His heart sinks.

“Glad to hear.”  He lies.  He can’t even bring himself to fake a smile.

“Everything okay, Auston?”

“Yup.  I’m living the life.”  He writes, again sarcastically.

She tries to cheer him, “Auston, your big day is coming soon.  You’re going home soon and we’ll get to hear that voice of yours.”

“Yeah, voice probably won’t work”, He writes.

“Well, that’s the spirit, Auston!”  She jokes. “I for one, personally can’t wait for that day.”

Auston is morose.

Dr Quinn feels uncomfortable and concerned.  She knows Auston is struggling with his emotions, but she senses that he’s upset with her.

“Oh, I heard your parents went home to Arizona.”  She changes the subject.

“Yes.  They’ve been gone for a few days now.”  He writes.

You’d know that if you came around this week, He wants to say.

“I see.  How have you been doing with everything?  I mean, emotionally?”  She asks.

“Not good”, he writes matter-of-factly.  He wishes he could tell her just how devastating her dating news and lack of visits have been to him.

“What made you so busy this week?”  He tries to delve.

“Oh, I had a Medical Conference away from the hospital.”

“And…? He prompts her. “You went out with that doctor a few times?”  He writes.  He can’t help himself.

“Yes, we went out a few times.”  She answers uncomfortably.

All Auston can think about is that Dr Dude taking her to bed.  No!  I want to be the one that takes you to bed!  I need to make you feel my love.

“He treated you well? You like him?”  He dares to ask.

“Yeah, pretty good.  Yeah.”  Her answers are vague.  She’s uncomfortable.

Auston’s confused and a bit concerned about her ‘pretty good’ comment to the question about whether the guy treated her well and would like to go down that Rabbit Hole but Dr Quinn quickly changes the subject.

“But enough about me, let’s talk about you, Auston Matthews, my patient”, she says to remind them both where their focus needs to stay.

Auston knows he shouldn’t be peppering Dr Quinn with questions about her dating life or she’s going to catch on or get annoyed with him.  He doesn’t want either of those things.  Although she’s shutting him down on the subject, the answers she has given him make him a little confused, concerned and want to throw up.  It will kill him, but he knows he needs to stop asking.  He’ll have to take a different approach.

He has an idea:  

By now, I think I know her heart and how she thinks, what her guiding principles are; what drives her. I’ll turn them in my favour to get where I need this to go.

It’s Dr Quinn’s objective to get Auston talking about his mental health.  She feels uncomfortable discussing her love life with him and regrets letting him know such personal information.  She knows it’s unprofessional, but deep down it’s even more than that; something that she won’t allow herself to acknowledge. Instead, she tells herself that Auston only asks about her dating life because he’s bored and doesn’t want to see her get hurt because she’s his doctor.  

She stands up and walks over to the plant on the window ledge.  She picks it up.  “Nice Cactus eh Auston?”  She smiles.

“Yes, some sweet person gave that to me.” He writes.

Dr Quinn can’t control her blush.  “Well, thank you, Auston.”  

Auston plays, “Yeah, I believe it was Nurse, Julie, who gave it to me if I remember correctly.”  He writes, trying to mess with her.

Instantly, Dr Quinn feels uneasy.  She’s sure he’s just messing with her, but surprisingly, reading that he wrote, Julie is ‘sweet’ and is giving another woman credit for something she did, to be nice to him, makes her defensive.

She dismisses her feelings as silly but still can’t help herself, “Oh, really?  Well, be sure to tell her that she has great taste.”  

Without backing down from his ploy he quickly writes, “I will.”

She still can’t leave it alone.  “Funny though, I seem to recall it was me who gave you a cactus just last week, and it looks an awful lot like this one with the blue ribbon.  It’s got the Go Leafs Go blue and all.”

Ha!  Auston knows he got her.  He just proved that she needs for him to know she cares about him.  That’s all the incentive he needs.  “Well, whoever gave it to me, it’s my most coveted award.  Stanley has nothing on that baby cactus”, He writes with a smirk.

“Oh, really?  And why is that?”  She says smiling, hopeful he will say it’s because she gave it to him, but scolds herself for wanting that.

He would love to tell her it’s because of who gave it to him.  But he knows better, so instead, he writes, “Because of what it stands for.”

She is surprised that she finds herself a little disappointed by his answer but brushes the feeling aside and reminds herself what’s most important.

She gets back on track. “And what does it stand for, Auston?”

“Getting off the Ventilator. Getting out of ICU”, He writes.

“Right!  And now look at you breathing through your mouth and nose! In five more days you’ll be able to try speaking, and you’ll be going home!  How do you feel about that?”

He wants to say, afraid that I won’t get to see you much after I leave. But instead, he writes, “Excited but also nervous about how my voice is going to sound.  Afraid you won’t be able to restore it.”

“Well, how about we make a deal that we cross that bridge when we get there?  Plus you know you won’t be alone Auston.  Remember I promised you that I will do my best to fix you?  Like I told you before, I’m with you every step of the way.  Auston, you know that right?”

“Really?”  He questions, knowing what he’s doing.

Dr Quinn is taken aback by his question, “Of course, Auston!   Remember we made a deal?  You’re not alone in this.  We’re a team. I’m right beside you through this.  I’ll try to help you as best I can.  I promised you that.”

She looks at Auston for confirmation that he was mistaken to question that she’d be there for him. Auston stares ahead with a blank face waiting. It’s killing him to make her feel like he doesn’t trust her when the opposite is true.

She starts panicking inside. What the hell?  Why is he not saying he’s just messing with me?  Surely he trusts me?

She hesitates but needs to confront him. “Auston, you don’t believe me?”  Her voice sounds broken.

With a solemn face, he takes in a deep breath, holds it, lets it out and writes, “No, I don’t.” He lies.  

He gives himself a pep talk.  Hang in there, Man.  It’s what you have to do if you want a chance with her.  You have to do this to make sure you get precious time with her.  She’s so fucking busy with work and HIM that she’ll never be able to squeeze you in if you don’t make it a priority for her.  

He wants to tell her:  McDreamy can have you for date nights, but during my last week, in this place, I’ll have you with me during the days.  Not an equal playing field in the least for me but it’s all I’ve got right now.  Instead, he just speaks it in his mind.

Auston knows that somehow, he has to counter what she’s getting from that doctor.

I have to make her question her feelings for him by getting her to know me and like me.  He tells himself.

“Auston?”  Dr Quinn softly pleads for him to answer.  She is shook.  “Auston, why would you say that?”  She feels shocked and hurt.

Auston prays in his mind:

Quinn, I hope you will be able to forgive me for what I’m about to say.  Brace yourself, cause I know this is going to hurt you…But, I have to say it, for the greater good, so here I go:

“Why didn’t you come to visit me this past week?  I was having a really hard time, and it felt like you had abandoned me.”  He writes, knowing what he’s doing.  Knowing her.  He holds himself steady and remembers to breathe.

“Wha?  No!  Oh… Auston!  No!  Oh my goodness, Auston!  No!” Dr Quinn fumbles as her heart tears apart.  She can hardly breathe.  She feels like she’s going to pass out.  She wants to get as near to Auston as possible to convince him otherwise.  She pulls her chair closer to his bedside. 

Feelings she had when Josh died in his accident are surfacing.  Back then she felt like she abandoned him when he died alone on route to the hospital in the ambulance. She should have gone with him, but she let EMS talk her out of it.  She felt as though she let him down in his hour of need. With Auston, she could have been there for him this week if she had made him a priority.  She lost her focus.

Her spirit feels like it’s crumbling and tears begin to well up as she makes assumptions. He felt abandoned by me.  On my watch! I let him down!  How could I be so insensitive?  I caused him pain!  Hasn’t he suffered enough?! 

She has a sudden intense desire to grab his hand, hold it and make him know that she cares about him.  But she stops herself, realizing that would be inappropriate.  She is doing everything she can to not let her tears spill.  It wouldn’t be professional, she tells herself.

Auston knows she’s inches from him, but he won’t dare look at her.  His senses are in overdrive.  He feels she’s about to cry.  His heart is breaking into pieces knowing how this is hurting her.  He wants desperately to grab her, pull her into his arms and confess his love for her.  But he can’t. He knows he’d lose her.  Even if she didn’t want to, he knows she’d have to pull away, shut him out completely.  She’d have to find him another doctor and she’s the only one who can do what she does with voice rejuvenation.  She’d reject him because her career does not permit her to encourage an attraction.  The timing is so bad.  

He knows what he has said is tearing her apart.  He knows being there for her patients is her sole purpose for being and he’s made her feel she’s failed him in that very objective.  He can’t bear what he’s done, but he believes it’s the only card he has to play.  Will it work?

P.S.  The photo of the cactus is a joke.  Just thought it was funny.

[ask-the-fanbots]

Family?

A fic between Coil (mine) and the Becile Boys and Mr. Weed (@ask-the-becile-boys)

Words: 2.4K

TW: malfunction, loss of fingers

    Hare was squatted in the alleyway, watching with only slight distress as The Jack gnawed on something inedible. Did he know what it was? No. Did he care? ...yeah. More than he'd like to admit.

    "Hey, c'mon Jacky, spit that out. Weed'll blow a gasket if he has to fix yer jaw again this week." He tried to coax the object--now identified as a brick torn from the building--from his mouth with little success. "Ow!" He hissed, inspecting the damage to his fingers. Still intact, so whatever. It was...probably time to bring Jack home.

    "Dnuor dna dnuor eht yrrebllum hsub--" He trailed off into cackling as he was gently hauled to his feet, spinning a few circles before springing up in an impressively high jump and stomping back onto the ground.

    "Ya don't say?" Hare offered casually, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he strolled alongside the giggling bot. "When we get back I'll--hey!"

    The Jack seemed to have decided he was tired of talking, because he began sprinting off without waiting on Hare to follow. The sound of his laughter drifted further off, his legs devouring the terrain ahead of him with all the gusto of an Olympian.

    "Hey, c'mon, why you gotta do this today!? We were doin' real well!" He huffed, arms pumping in rhythm with his admittedly pathetic strides. He wasn't anywhere near as fast as Jacky, but he could always hold onto the hope that the escaped kid would fall or something else'd slow him down, otherwise he'd have to try and drag Weed and the other guys out onto a Jack-hunt.

    Up ahead of him, the distant laughter cut off suddenly, replaced with a blood curdling shriek.

    "Jacky!?" Hare found a sudden reserve of speed, running faster than he'd ever gone before. It wasn't happening. Whatever he was afraid of wasn't happening! His thoughts tangled together into a web of helpless anxiety as he barreled around the corner, the manor coming into view. There he was! What was--?

    "--get off! Where'd you even come from!?" The voice was unfamiliar, as was the streak of dirty metallic grey covered by The Jack's writhing form.

    "The rocks! A lady from the floor! A candy man! The green took the lady!" The Jack was screaming as if his life depended on it, snippets of words in between snapping his jaws at the person he had pressed against the stairs.

    "What the Hell is happening out here!?" The Skull stepped out before Hare arrived, and instantly The Jack scrambled backwards, ramming headfirst into his brother. "Get outta here!" One fluid motion was all it took to haul the other person to their feet--a bot, no doubt, and a girl by the looks of it. "Hare. What happened here?"

    "We were on a walk an' he took off! Who's this?" He gestured wildly at the intruder on the steps, trying to size her up enough to get any kind of read on her and why she was here. Other bots weren't terribly uncommon to see, but ones turning up on the goddamn doorstep were.

    "Becile." She said, looking between them in a mixture of anger, disgust, and...well, a bit of hope. "He...y'know, made you?"

    "Go." The Skull shoved her back towards the street, taking another step forward before Hare waved a hand in a vague gesture to wait just a second. He shook his head, slamming the door on his way back inside. He'd have to go tell Locksmith, see if he could stop being useless just long enough to get the girl outta here. He may have been the enforcer, but if those piles of scrap metal wanted to hang around they had to do something every now and again.

    As soon as he knew Jacky was situated, Hare grabbed both he and the new lady and dragged the both of them inside. "Alright, sweetcheeks, let's talk. Why're you askin' about Pops?"

    "I was gonna ask if you couldn't see the family resemblance but thank God I ain't as ugly as you." She replied with a sneer, gesturing towards his face. Both were endowed with pointed teeth, though the woman’s were in her mouth, and between the pair of them that only managed to scrape together two eyes.

    "Wha--I ain't ugly!" Hare sputtered before leaning forward with a growl. "And you ain't family."

    The Skull pushed the two of them apart with a grimace. "We know all about his ugly mug. What we don't know is why the Hell you think you're one of us. Get talkin' or I'll throw you out whether they try to stop me or not."

    "Friendly bunch." She said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest as she tried to gather her thoughts into a sensible order. "Name's Coil." She paised briefly for a reaction, but upon receiving little more than slightly angrier scowls she continued. "Green core bot."

    "...yeah? And? Chrissakes, we're gonna be rusted over before ya finish the story." Hare plunked himself down into a moth-eaten armchair, resting his chin on his fist and looking at Coil in the same manner an impatient child would look at its mother.

    A throat cleared, and the attention shifted over to the source. Locksmith was standing off to the side, fingertips drumming over the cane in his hands. "If I may interject. You claim to be our relative, and this may well be the case, but have you any evidence to substantiate this? Are we to trust you at your word? This is--how do I put it--you would be far from the first ruffian claiming to share our lineage, if one is bold enough to call it that. How do you intend to put our troubled minds at ease? Proof, as it were, is what we'd ask you to furnish us with."

    "You all see if you can keep from dyin' for the next few minutes. I'm gettin' Weed and seein' if he can sort this out. If Pops made her there'd be some kind o' mark or somethin' to tell us." Hare rose from his chair, grabbing The Jack by under the arm to lead him off. "You too, Jacky."

    After earlier he didn't feel confident that Jacky wouldn't tear the gal apart before he got a chance to get back. A couple of her fingers were already severed, and they didn't need anything else going on at the moment. That's what he told himself, at least. Truthfully he needed a walk. Somewhere to go so he could think while he got there. Pops had been a less than honest guy, but there was no way he made another entire lady without them knowing, right? Right.

    But…

    She was just as soot-covered and banged up as the rest of them, and there was somethin' that didn't sit right when he looked at her. Something too familiar.

    "Oi, Weed! Open up." Hare banged on the door with his fist, earning a growl from within. "I'm not takin' no for an answer, 's important, so get yer ass out here."

    The door cracked open, a disheveled looking Riker peering through it. "Someone better be dying, and at this point I might let 'em for a little peace around here." He smelled of alcohol, deep bruise-like shadows beneath the one eye that was visible. That wasn't unusual for him, of course, but geez he looked like--...well, not great.

    "We got a situation." Hare inched closer, looking uncharacteristically nervous. He was smooth as silk. Cool as a cucumber. Nothing ever bothered him, naturally. As the tough leader an' all that it was his job to keep it together.

    Riker looked slightly more interested, but it was hard to tell with him. One brow arched almost imperceptibly higher. "What kind? I--Jesus, whose fingers are those? Who did he bite this time?" This earned a genuine reaction from him as he opened the door fully to look at the pair of tin cans that blocked his doorway.

    "Well that's the thing if you'd let me get there. We got a lady." The bot gestured vaguely, as if the weak attempt at charades would make things more clear.

    "A...lady." The engineer echoed, not any closer to understanding the situation than before.

    "A lady!" Jack confirmed, the high pitched giggles bubbling up through him against his will. "A lady from the rocks, a lady from the ground, a lady in the foyer who can't make a sound!" He sang before breaking down into hysterical laughter and snapping playfully in Weed's direction.

    "..."kay, what does that mean?" He didn't look pleased, but grabbed his tools nonetheless. If he didn't return some fingers his ass was on the line, too, and there was no way he could afford some kind of lawsuit for destruction of property or whatever they'd get charged with. Criminal proceedings were the last thing they all needed.

    "She--"

    "HEY! GET BACK HERE, YA LITTLE RAT! SHE'S YOUR PROBLEM!' Skully's booming voice echoed across the manor, and Hare cursed under his breath.

    "C'mon, I'll just show ya. Jacky? Wanna come with or head to yer room?" His hands found their way around the arm of the shaking bot, opting to guide him to his room and make sure he was secure before hustling back towards the door. "What's the--I WAS ONLY GONE A COUPLE O' MINUTES!"

    The Skull and Locksmith were standing beside the still form of Coil, the latter leaving a much wider berth. "She's your problem now. If she breaks anything it's on you. Get some answers." The Skull left with that, strolling briskly towards his own space. He didn't want her here, but he did wanna know what connection she had to the old man, if any.

    "We do seem to be in a predicament. While I can't say she's charming company, we are owed the full story, and the only one who can provide us with any insight is inactive on our flooring. A tapestry of tongues can't be woven by the mute, so I suggest our roboticist begins his work before much more time slips past us." Locksmith remained stationary, as he needn't provide them with any further room. They had ample space to operate, so for now he would observe the proceedings. Should the time come when he had to relocate, he would gladly cede further floorspace to them.

    "What do I look like, a dancing monkey? Why should I work on a bot I'm not in charge of? It’d be easier to scrap her." Despite his words, he was already kneeling to look her over. What exactly was the protocol on working on someone that wasn't yours? Especially one of the lady ones? And especially one that couldn't give him permission to take a look under the hood, so to speak?

    "She said Pops built her. Just take a look or somethin', will ya? Wake her up so we can ask ‘er a few things." Hare squatted beside Weed, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked her over. She did have the shoddy workmanship of Pops's hands, but that didn't mean much. He was overthinking this.

    "Fine, fine." Riker grumbled, undoing the buttons on the back of the dress. "You owe me, though. Next time I tell you I'm takin' a sick day, I'm taking it. No emergency repairs, no whining at the door, no nothing."

    "Yeah, sounds great. Do your thing, o mighty roboticist." Hare's tone was mocking, but there was no denying that Weed was good at his job. His ma had taught him well, apparently.

    It didn't take long before Riker was popping open an access panel, and he tossed it aside onto the carpet. "Geez! What's going on in here?" He turned aside, sneezing openly toward the rug.

    Locksmith looked utterly repulsed by this decision but held his tongue. He fished through his pocket, extending a handkerchief to the resident engineer. "Bless you, Mr. Weed. I take it our companion's interior is a bit... antiquated."

    "No kidding! When was the last time someone opened this up!?" He ignored the offer, swiping at his pointed nose with his knuckles. There was a thick layer of dust built up on every surface in the little panel, clogging everything and muffling the sound of the things that did still work. "I don't know what the last person in here did, but it looks like a toddler got a wrench and went to town. Half this stuff is straight out of a history textbook, and the other half looks like someone tried to make something out of spare parts from a dollar store."

    Locksmith withdrew the proffered cloth, tucking it back into his pocket. "I believe I'll retire to my quarters. Today has been eventful, and truthfully I have no desire to watch another uncouth display like the last one."

    Riker snorted, sparing a glance toward him. "Don't worry, I'll be sure to save a sneeze for you for next time I'm doing your repairs." He leaned back, resting in roughly the same position as Hare. After Locksmith left he turned to his companion, chewing the inside of his cheek before trying the find the right words. "You've been...quiet." It was more an invitation to speak than an observation.

    "Thinkin'." Hare was at a loss for more words than that--something Riker would have been quick to point out as the very first time had the circumstances been better. Family was a hard thing, especially for this lot. Hell, he struggled with his own family, but that was just a whole ‘nother beast.

    "For what it's worth, she's not one of ours. The marks and parts are wrong. But it does say Becile on the panel." Riker passed the piece of metal over to Hare, who inspected it carefully. Imprinted inside was the name Grace P. Becile in the standard formatting of foundry marks. Becile…

    "Pops never talked about a Grace. Think she's connected to Buster? Don't know that we really know where he came from neither." He handed it back to Weed, who set to work securing it back in place. She twitched under his tools, so it'd only be another minute or two until she came to.

    "You'd know better than me." Riker shrugged, wiping his hands off on a rag and stretching.

    "I'll go get Skully to carry her out." Hare jerked a thumb towards the front door, his other hand on his hip. "But uh...hey Weed. While you're out, keep an eye on her. If you see her. Don't go outta yer way or nothin'." His hand migrated to rub the back of his neck as he cleared his throat. “I gotta go back to my room. I'll see you later."

    "Right. I'll see you later." Riker watched him go before sighing and gathering up his tools. Keep an eye out...yeah, he could do that.

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

slide into my DMs [ficlet, i/iii]

Rey has an problem. Ben has a solution. Twitter brings them together.

OR: in which Ben shoots his shot - in the sweetest, most respectful, no-pressure way possible, because this is Ben Solo we’re talking about.

PART I: SHOOT YOUR SHOT | PART II | PART III

Update from the hell that is writer’s block: I’m still incapable of writing my usual proper one-shots. Instead, here’s yet another mini-fic that no one asked for - this time featuring social media, because I’m hip with the kids.

Also available on AO3.

Rey has been locked in a staring contest with her shower head for about five minutes now.

It’s been two hours since she got home from her shift at Maz’s, and she would like nothing more than to wash off the lingering smell of fried food and spilled beer. But fall has finally arrived and brought with it even-colder-than-usual ice water, and Rey can feel her lungs shaking at the mere thought of the shower that awaits her.

“Fuck everything,” she huffs, backing away from the shower for the fourth time in thirty minutes. Her phone sits on the countertop, lighting up every so often with notifications from friends tweeting about their super fun Friday night at the latest culinary hotspot or sharing bathroom selfies from fancy clubs Rey wouldn’t even be hired to work at, let alone be allowed into. Ignoring all of her classmates’ posturing, she quickly types out a tweet of her own.

endless pit @reyofsunshine

day 51 of ice cold showers because my landlord is a fucking cheapskate who refuses to fix anything

Bitching about her situation on social media won’t magically heat up her water, but it’s better than glaring at the cracked tiles of her bathroom wall. Even scrolling past everyone else’s over-the-top pictures seems preferable to a shower at this point, and Rey finally gives up – for now – as she trudges back into her bedroom and perches on the edge of her bed while she scoffs and laughs and shakes her head at her friends’ antics.

Finn, Rose, and Poe are at that weird new edible flower café, and based on their pictures she can tell Rose is about as baffled by the menu as she had been.

Jess and Kaydel finally managed to get a table at Coruscant, but they don’t seem that impressed by the itty-bitty portion sizes and the comparatively monstrous price tags.

Hux is in his usual Friday night hangout spot, spamming everyone’s feeds with bathroom selfies featuring the tacky gold wallpaper that’s unique to Finalizer, the most overpriced club in town. And judging by the way his cheeks match his hair, her least favorite classmate is already drunk as a skunk.

“Fun,” Rey mutters to herself as she navigates away from the app and moves to set her phone aside. It buzzes just before she can put it down, and a quick tap at the screen reveals one unread message from–

Rey tilts her head as she considers the sight of Ben Solo in her notifications. Have they ever even interacted on Twitter? They’ve traded messages on Instagram, mainly just snarky replies to each other’s stories, and they talk all the time in the group chat Poe added them to at the beginning of the semester, but this… this is new.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant I’ve got a great shower.

endless pit @reyofsunshine how nice for you

Rey replies almost immediately, rolling her eyes at Ben and his trust fund apartment in the nice part of town. Forget hot water; the guy probably has actual water pressure and one of those fancy massage shower heads.

He sees her message, and then takes his own sweet time writing and deleting, writing and deleting until–

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant And a really comfortable bed too. In case I wasn’t being obvious enough.

“Oh,” Rey says out loud, and somehow that single, dumbfounded word appears on her screen a second later.

Ben’s… her friend, in a way. More Poe’s friend than hers, but they still interact often enough that she counts him among the ten or so actual friends she’s made in her two years at college. He’s nice enough when he’s not giving her a hard time, but then again she’s always being an ass to him in return; it’s not like they even mean anything by it at this point, it’s just their thing.

Which makes this conversation all the more bizarre and unexpected, given the usual tone of their friendship.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant And a fully-stocked fridge.

Rey laughs despite her confusion.

endless pit @reyofsunshine next time lead with that

Next time? Next time?

Ben replies before she can freak out and rush into damage control mode.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant Noted. So… Wanna come over?

She snorts at her phone and replies with the first thought that comes to mind, guiding them back to familiar ground.

endless pit @reyofsunshine wow you must be desperate bit of a dry spell, Solo?

But Ben’s always been stubborn – just as stubborn as her, according to Poe – so it comes as no surprise when he refuses to be herded back to safety.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant It doesn’t have to be like that. I just thought it’d be nice to spend time with you.

endless pit @reyofsunshine spend time with me? is that what they’re calling it these days?

Rey smirks as she watches the telltale dots appear and disappear, trying to picture Ben’s reaction on the other end of the conversation. Whether or not he meant it that way, she’d bet a good chunk of this month’s paycheck that he’s already blushing. It gives him away every time, even when he manages to bite back a smile and maintain intense eye contact – which he does with her a lot, now that Rey thinks about it.

Maybe she should’ve seen this coming.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant Rey. I’m serious.

He’s got his serious face on, then – the one he wears in class, the one she occasionally sneaks glances at because the focus in his eyes is… admirable. His attention span in a class full of kids who are half-asleep is admirable, that’s all, and it’s not like she sometimes wonders what it’d feel like to have him look at her with that kind of single-minded focus.

endless pit @reyofsunshine so you’re asking me to go over for a free meal and a hot shower and then we’ll just… what, cuddle up in front of the TV?

It’s a cozy little scene right out of the domestic daydreams Rey tells herself she absolutely doesn’t have, but this is college. And Ben, decent though he may be, is still a college boy. Maybe he has a TV in his bedroom. Maybe this is the part where he not-so-jokingly suggests that they Netflix and chill.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant If that’s what you want.

Rey blinks at her screen and waits for him to add to that, to pepper their chat with increasingly suggestive alternative options for the evening.

A full minute later, it finally dawns on her.

endless pit @reyofsunshine wait oh my god you’re serious you actually mean that

She’s so caught up in her own thoughts that she fails to realize just how insulting her disbelief might be until Ben opts to ignore her in favor of cutting straight to the chase.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant Yes or no, Rey?

He’s probably pacing the length of his apartment now, running one hand through his hair while he scowls at his phone, berating himself for even trying–

It’s an oddly displeasing image, especially when accompanied by the realization that there’s no reason for him to be so agitated – not when she’s surprisingly keen to say yes. But…

endless pit @reyofsunshine i’m carless this week and you’re way too far for me to walk

It seems like a poor excuse even to her, but Rey crosses her fingers and bites her lip and hopes Ben takes it as anything but, hopes he can tell how much she actually does want to spend the evening with him and his hot shower and his full fridge.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant I could go pick you up. If you want to come over.

Despite her relief, Rey finds herself staring at his message.

endless pit @reyofsunshine seriously???

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant Sure, why not?

endless pit @reyofsunshine let me get this straight you’re gonna drive twenty minutes in the dark to pick me up take me to your place, feed me, and let me use your shower no funny business and you’re totally fine with that??

His reply comes not two seconds later, and sweeps away the last of Rey’s hesitation.

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant Sounds good to me.

This man is not real. This man cannot be real.

But Rey’s been through enough crap in her life to know when something good is in front of her, and this could definitely be good. Great, even.

endless pit @reyofsunshine okay then let me know when you’re here

Ben Solo @accidentalgiant Will do, sweetheart. See you soon.

Rey stares at that message until her screen goes dark, and then it’s a mad rush to empty out her backpack and repack it with her nicest sleeping clothes.

Ben might not be planning on funny business, but she’s reasonably sure he wouldn’t object to it.

This is at least 60% DMs because I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing anymore - other than clearing out my dusty WIPs I thought I’d never write folder, apparently.

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you gained at least some entertainment from this silly little thing. Please don’t hesitate to like/reblog/leave a comment!

UPDATE: somehow this has spawned a second chapter and a tiny epilogue.

AO3 | Ko-fi | Twitter

[stormconduit]

secretist but tomik is emmara part 1

Jace crept down the stairs to the main floor and approached the door. Kavin wouldn’t have knocked, and he didn’t expect any other visitors. He prepared a spell to sense the mind of whoever was outside. When he detected the thoughts of his old friend, he threw the door open wide. Tomik looked as youthful as ever, but as he was an Orzhov oligarch, his age tended not to show. He wore a pair of white robes embroidered with a sunburst pattern that wound around his sleeves. Jace knew he possessed a wisdom and quiet power that belied his youthful appearance.

“Good evening, old friend,” he said with a partial smile.

“Tomik! It’s been a while. Come in.”

As soon as he said it, he regretted it. Jace’s sanctum was not exactly fit for visitors. As soon as he stepped through the door, he had to guide Tomik apologetically through the detritus of his research. He shoved some pieces of stonework out of the way and they sat down on the floor by an old, unused fireplace, where the threadbare carpet gave way to a wide hearth.

Tomik scanned the place. “You’ve taken up archaeology?”

“It’s a new project, I guess you could say. A colleague and I are studying patterns in old stonework. I’ve seen the same patterns used in dozens of different sites around the district. They’re geometric carvings with repeating elements. I’m fascinated. Did you know that almost every building on this street has stone sourced from the same salvage yard?”

“I didn’t.” his face was placid, but from the way he clasped his hands in his lap, Jace knew this wasn’t a social call.

“What brings you from Irbitov?”

“I live here now, in the Tenth,” said Tomik. He offered a small object to Jace, holding it delicately in his fingers: a golden broach in the shape of an intricate sun. It was too detailed to have been carved even by a master artisan; it must have been molded by magic.

“What is this?”

“A gift. From my master.”

Jace took the golden sun in two hands. “Master?” He glanced at the bundle of scrolls and papers stored in his satchel. “You’re working for someone?”

“Yes. Teysa Karlov. I’ve been working as an Advokist—before you were born, in fact. And now that Orzhov Syndicate is rebuilding, Teysa wants me back again as an advisor. You must have seen how the guilds have come back in force.”

“To be honest, I haven’t seen much beyond this building lately,” Jace said with a shrug. He realized that his hair was probably sticking out in every direction, and that Tomik had dramatically upped the cleanliness ante by his visit.

Tomik focused on him intently. “Jace, what do you know of the Guildpact?” It was a delicate question. Jace had never been fully honest with Tomik—had never told him he was a planeswalker, a mage capable of traveling between planes of existence. Most people had no idea there were planes beyond their own, and those who were bound to a single plane didn’t enjoy hearing that their familiar home was only one of a potentially infinite array of worlds. Jace tended to keep his planeswalker nature a secret. That meant that sometimes Jace had to put on a bit of an act, to display enough knowledge that he could seem like a native, such as in conversations like this. He knew about the history of the city-world Ravnica only through what he had gleaned from his research—and from seeing into other people’s minds. He considered trying to poke around in Tomik’s mind to see if he could learn more about the Guildpact. His magical specialty was a shortcut, but sometimes a necessary one. However, Tomik was a skilled mage in his own right and tended to be able to detect his mind magic when he used it around him.

“Politics was never my best subject,” he said.

“We shouldn’t be surprised that the guilds are on the rise again,” said Tomik. “The guilds are the pillars of history. The backbone of our entire civilization for thousands of years, and no matter what anyone said, the Guildpact was what held them together. But the Guildpact is gone. Dissolved. No magical enforcement of any of the treaties or laws. The guild leaders aren’t bound by the old strictures anymore.”

Jace thought of those he had known who sought power—Liliana, Tezzeret, Nicol Bolas. He thought of how they always used their power to gain more of it. “Any center of power is going to test its boundaries.”

Tomik nodded. “And without those boundaries …”

“You think they’re going to try to exceed them.”

Tomik looked at the golden sun in Jace’s hands. “They’ve already begun to.”

“Who? The Rakdos?” Jace guessed. He had never understood why Ravnicans had allowed a murderous, demon-venerating cult to remain one of the ten official guilds—it just seemed too dangerous. The going theory was that the Rakdos guild provided wellsought services of mayhem and perverse entertainment to those who possessed wealth and power, and that this was enough for them to be kept around.

“No,” Tomik said. “It’s the Izzet. Izzet mages have made illegal incursions into other guilds’ territories.” The Izzet League—the same guild of magical experimenters that had often been present when Jace had uncovered stone artifacts carved with the code.

“But isn’t that an issue for the lawmages? Shouldn’t the Azorius maintain those Borders?”

“They’re trying. The Azorius Senate has been issuing injunctions and rulings against the Izzet day after day, at the request of the other guilds. But without the Guildpact, the

Azorius have become toothless bureaucrats. Their legislation is just words on paper. Niv-Mizzet doesn’t seem to care.”

Niv-Mizzet was the guildmaster and founder of the Izzet League, an inquisitive and profoundly ingenious archmage who also happened to be an ancient dragon. If the Izzet had a new scheme, Niv-Mizzet was sure to be its source. “What has the dragon said?”

“Nothing. Whatever the Izzet are undertaking, they’re keeping it secret.”

“And you want to find out what their project is about.” You want me to find out what it’s about, he thought.

“The Obzedat, my guildmaster, thinks it’s urgent for the Izzet to be open about what they’re planning. But if they won’t cooperate, suspicions will grow among the guilds. Tensions will rise. It could lead to a conflict that could tear the guilds apart.” He spread his hands, and clasped them again. “We need the Izzet to cooperate.”

Jace sat back and took a breath, examining Tomik’s face. He was trying not to plead with him, but he could see the urgency behind Tomik’s expression. There was an edge to his manner that he hadn’t seen in him before. It wasn’t fear. Tomik had no concern for any threat to his own safety. He sensed that Tomik spoke out of an obligation—something deeply felt, a concern over and above loyalty to his guild. Jace wondered if there was someone else whom his was protecting.

“How can I help?”

His smile glowed. “Join us,” he said. “Help us. Help us to understand what the Izzet might be doing, so we can maintain peace in this district, and all the districts.” “You want me to join your guild?” “You’d be welcome in the Syndicate. The Orzhov believe in helping people, in lifting others up and forming alliances to connect people together. Jace, with your talents—you’d have such potential for helping us. We could use you.”

“I don’t know.” A guild would mean tying himself to a set of values, to one point of view. Most of all, it meant tying himself to the plane of Ravnica. And he wasn’t sure, even if he were to select one of Ravnica’s guilds, that he would choose the Orzhov. Jace looked around the sanctum, indicating the research around them with a vague gesture. “I have a lot of projects going on … I can’t commit to that right now.”

“But you’d be able to help so many people. I’m influential in the guild, Jace. Teysa has selected me as a kind of dignitary. And you could be such a natural at reading people. We could work toward the same ends. We could learn the truth. Together.” Jace hesitated. Not many people had ever looked at him the way Tomik was looking at him in that moment. He wanted to say something that would make Tomik look at him that way for a lot longer. Jace imagined the way his face would brighten even more if he told him yes—how he could touch Tomik’s hand and tell him that nothing was more important to Jace than joining him, helping him. He wished he could go through with it, for Tomik’s sake.

But he couldn’t.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t join the Orzhov. But maybe I could help in another way.”

Tomik’s smile melted. “Oh. I’m too late, then. You’re part of another guild already?”

“No. That’s not it.” He thought of all the time he spent on other planes. He thought of all the mysteries that drew him from one side of the Multiverse to the other. “I’m just not … someone who likes to get too attached.”

That struck him. “I see,” he said and stood. His demeanor reverted to formality and etiquette. “Well, I should be going. I have a lot of guild matters to attend to. Thank you for your time, Jace. It was good to see you.”

“No, Tomik, I’m sorry,” he said, standing with him. “I just meant I can’t afford to get mixed up in any of the … guild politics right now. I’m researching something important, and it’s taking up all of my time. I’d love to help you after I solve this.”

He nodded. “We’d love to have you,” he said. When he was at Jace’s door, he turned. “That sun I gave you is an Orzhov artifact, made by goldsmith. You can use it to contact me, if you want. Just say the activating words into it, and I’ll be able to hear you.”

Jace looked at his gift in his hand. “What are the words?”

“ ‘I need you.’ ”

[moondustis]

sticky (m)

pairing: lee taeyong + reader genre: smut word count: 1,7k warnings: sub!taeyong, baby dom!reader, dry humping, handjobs, slapping. a/n: this... is a mess. im really sorry if you are really into the whole dom/sub thing and is about to read this fic because its a mess lmao!! anyway its inspired by taeyongs verse on baby dont like it of course (happy bday t)

summary: but after the third you realized that all you had to do was a play a role, act like you knew what you were doing. and besides, taeyong was probably not expecting you to become a full time dominatrix at the first try, he would be happy with anything you gave him.

for a college student you could say your sex life was pretty... tame. of course you had your fair amount of hookups during freshman year, but usually it was just you and your vibrator on special self care days. of course that changed when you started dating taeyong. you two had sex pretty often, taeyong being a 22 year old with the libido of a horny teenager, but things were still pretty vanilla. sure, taeyong liked dirt talking (especially when you did it) but that was the most common kink to ever exist. all that being said, nothing could prepare you for the words taeyong had said on what was supposed to be a quiet saturday of watching netflix and having missionary position sex. it was in the middle of a make-out session, taeyong’s hand holding your waist tightly and stopping the kiss to look at you with a puppy look on his face. “if i say a kinda weird thing do you promise to not freak out?” he had asked with a small voice. “of course. why would i freak out?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “oh my god, are you going to come out as a furry? please don’t. those costumes are too weird for me.” “NO. i’m not a furry, for fucks sake.” he said dramatically rolling his eyes. “then what is it? i’m sure i’ll be okay with anything else.” “it’s just...” he started, a blush creeping on his cheeks making him hide his face on your neck. “i was wondering if you would mind being mean to me during sex.” you didn’t freak out. the gasp you let out was calm and collected. “me-mean to you?” you questioned with a small voice. “yeah, like calling me names...and hurting me.” he explained and if he wasn’t hiding his face he would laugh at the way your eyes bulge. “you want me to hurt you?” you asked, because taeyong seemed to think you were some kind of prude that had no idea what bdsm was and he had to explain it to you like he was talking to a child. not that someone would talk about this to a child. “are you trying to tell me you’re a masochist?” at the mention of masochism he finally moves his head from where he was hiding it on your neck and stares at you. “yeah, that’s one way to put it.” you ponder over it for a few minutes. you never had nothing like it before and you bet your ass some of your exes would describe you as a vanilla sub. but taeyong seemed to really be into this stuff if his nervousness was anything to go by. “we don’t have to do it today. or any day at all, if you are not okay with it.” he said as if sensing your hesitation. “i just want you to think about it, okay?” you just nodded at him, promising to think about it and his smile was so genuine that you almost slapped him right there just to satisfy his kink. —— like promised, you think about it. you think about it a lot. you think about it so much that by the end of the week you have read three articles about bdsm, decorated more curse words than you ever thought you would and watched a total of five very long porn videos. to be honest it had become less about getting used to the idea and more about getting good enough at it. at least enough to make taeyong pop a boner. the videos you found were very... educational. at first you had freaked out a little over the fact you were never going to be able to pull of what those women did, with all the dick stepping and spitting. but after the third you realized that all you had to do was a play a role, act like you knew what you were doing. and besides, taeyong was probably not expecting you to become a full time dominatrix at the first try, he would be happy with anything you gave him. so you decide to give it to him, finding yourself on his lap just one week after his request and ready to be the dom you never thought you would be. you’re just kissing, his lips moving against yours with no rush and you can taste the wine you both had on his tongue. it feels nice and the hand he’s moving up your loose t-shirt is pleasant, but you have other plans. so, internally telling your heart to stop beating so much, you grab his wrist on it’s way to your chest and try to let out a natural tsk. “no touching today. unless i say so.” your voice is shaky and you’re sure there’s a very noticeable blush on your face but the way his eyes widen comically make you feel confident about it. “don’t you want to be a good boy for me?” it’s a cliche line, taken from one of the videos but taeyong seems to not mind at all just nodding enthusiastically at you. “i want to hear you say it.” another very cliche one. it’s almost like he’s trying to make it easy for you and you appreciate it. “i do. i want to be a good boy.” his voice is small but eager and it makes your insides tingle. “will you teach me how?” fuck. you think, he’s good at this. it almost makes you lose your composure, but you are quick to go back into character. this part is the one you were sure you would have a hard time doing. in the pornos you watched the women would use whips and all kind of objects to hurt their partners but you are not ready for that. at all. so you go for the only option you have, your hands. the way you run yours nails from just below his ears down to his chest leaves a faint red trace on the skin but it only seems to get a slight shiver from him. “you can be harsher. i deserve it for being a naughty boy.” his voice is barely a whisper and you’re amazed at how he manages to guide you through it without moving away from the submissive role. following his words you run your nails down again, this time harder and making the red marks even more prominent. the breathy moan he lets out makes you feel proud. you connect your lips together in a gentle manner, kissing him once softly and then moving your lips in a slow way. he gets so into it that he can’t help but let out a surprised gasp when you bite down at his bottom lip, drawing a little bit of blood. he moves to grab at your waist but you slap his hand away before he can ever touch it. the whine he lets out and the pout on his lips make it seem like he’s really upset about it, but the way his eyes are looking at you and his hardening cock against you thigh tells you otherwise. “i thought you were going to be good for me, yong.” you say imitating his pout and doing your best disappointed voice. “but i guess naughty boys can’t learn unless they are punished.” as if to accentuate your words you roll your hips down, getting the sweetest sound from him. the whole thing is affecting you more than you thought it would, already wet enough to leave a patch on his sweatpants but you can’t even feel embarrassed about it.  your mind is getting flogged by how good his dick feels against you even with the layers in the middle and you have a hard time remembering any of the things you saw online, deciding to just follow your instincts. you roll your hips more forcefully against him and he immediately closes his eyes, gripping the cushion beside him as if he’s trying to hold back. he’s already fully hard now, making your mouth water at the thought of him inside of you. “is my baby hard just from this?” you ask, cooing at him. he just nods, whining words that you can’t understand. it’s not enough for you so you grip his hair tightly, expecting him to open his eyes at that and when he doesn’t you slap him on the cheek with shaky hands. it’s not a hard slap, but it’s enough to leave his cheek red and to make his eyes snap open at you, mouth hanging open. “be good and answer me.” you demand, holding him by the chin. “do you want to cum or not?” “y-yes....please” he stutters, voice so desperate it makes you want to give it to him right now “i want to come so bad, please. pleaseee make me come.” the way he’s whining is what it takes for you to dip your hands bellow his boxers and take his swollen cock out of it. there’s a clog of precum on the angry red tip and you use your thumb to smear it over it. “the be good and come on my hand like the horny, filthy boy you are.” he doesn’t know what pushes him off the edge, if it’s your words, the fast strokes on his dick or the way your free hand was gripping his thigh. all he knows is that he comes so hard he sees stars. when he comes down from the high, finally managing to open his eyes, you are coming back from the bathroom with wipes on your hands and your cheeks a pretty blush. “that was really good, angel.” he praises you, his hand going to rub at your cheeks when you drop down on your knees to clean him up. “did i do a good job?” you ask with a small voice and it’s almost comic how the roles changed so fast. minutes ago you had him at your mercy and now he’s the one praising you. he hums and gestures for you to get up in the couch again, pressing a kiss to your lips. “you were amazing.” he replies. “i can’t wait for us to try bondage next time.” your reaction makes him laugh with his whole body.

[hexwritesfanfics]

First Date, Revisited

Fandom: Tokyo Ghoul

Pairing: Kaneki x OC

There she was, standing in front of the convenience store. The loveliest thing Kaneki had ever laid eyes on ever since he became a half-ghoul.

The pink fabric of her dress accented the red irises that had often caught his eye, while the very garment itself fit his date nicely. Light brown strands fell past her waist, a few locks over her shoulder with a picturesque gracefulness. If Kaneki were a photographer, he'd have likely taken a photo of his date right then of how she looked now and it would be a physical, everlasting memory in his hands.

It was ironic, really. She caught his attention in Anteiku, just as Rize had, but Kaneki sensed that this girl-a human customer-was different from the binge eater ghoul. The aura around the brunette was calming, gentle, enough to pull him in. She entered Anteiku and smiled at everyone as she strode to her preferred table, a stool by the window. Watching her from behind the counter, Kaneki would notice how she would sometimes stare out of the window, the sunlight hitting the strands of her hair just right to make them appear luminous. Other times, she would be reading. During her "reading days", as Kaneki dubbed internally, the girl would be reading something different each time: romance, horror, even comedy.

Kaneki was unsure of the burst of courage that caused him to approach this quiet, radiant girl with the gentle smile and rose red eyes who had finished off her caramel macchiato while reading another novel. Her gaze flickered up to his face when he reached for the empty cup and she smiled.

"That looks like an interesting book," Kaneki found himself saying, the words leaving him easily much to his surprise. Those red eyes widened slightly before she looked down at the pages she was currently on. "It's a little light reading. It's a book on medical science," she replied.

"Medical science this time? I always see you reading something different when you come in."

"Oh, you were watching me?"

Kaneki recoiled slightly, but paused at the sight of the smile on the girl's pale pink lips. She lifted a hand from the pristine page. "I'm Hanami," she said. It took him a moment before Kaneki's hand found hers and he shook it. "I'm Kaneki," he replied.

"It's nice to meet you, Kaneki." Hanami stood up and her hand slipped softly from his as though it were a ribbon sliding between his fingers. She left some change on the table, closing the book and lifting it toward her chest. "Maybe I'll see you again?" she suggested, beaming one more smile before she made her way to the door.

Kaneki had no idea what he was thinking before he realized he was stopping her, boldly, in front of everyone in the café. "Miss Hanami!"

Hanami stopped, turning around to look at him. "Yes?"

"Would you like to go out some time?"

It felt like an eternity before she nodded. "Sure."

And here we are, thought Kaneki, his hands sliding into the pockets of his dark jeans before he approached the waiting Hanami. As if she sensed him, she turned her gaze toward him and smiled that pretty smile. "Hi, Kaneki," she greeted.

Kaneki smiled shyly. "Hi, Hanami. Were you waiting long?"

She shook her head. "No, not at all. Shall we get going then?"

Nodding, Kaneki reached for Hanami's hand, hesitated. Hanami must have noticed; the next minute, her fingers wrapped around his. Heat rushed to Kaneki's cheeks as he led the way, averting his eyes.

"Have you ever been on a date before, Kaneki?" Hanami's voice drew Kaneki's attention toward her. The heat burned hotter in his cheeks before he stared at the ground. "I did once. It was, um, my first date," he stammered. "W-What about you?"

A soft giggle left Hanami's lips. "This would be my first date," she answered, without a hint of embarrassment.

"I'm surprised."

"Why?"

"A pretty girl like you...you probably had lots of guys asking you out."

When Kaneki managed to turn his eyes toward Hanami, he was happily surprised at the soft shade of pink dusting her cheeks. Another laugh, much softer, left her. "Well, let's say that they weren't interesting to me to consider saying yes."

"And I was?" asked Kaneki curiously, aware of the sudden warmth in his chest.

Hanami smiled. "You are."

It was a strange sort of pleasure; not high-flying to where someone would be walking on clouds. This pleasure permeated softly through Kaneki, much like drinking a cup of coffee on a cold day. Hanami was a pretty girl-a beautiful girl-that Hide would say she was out of Kaneki's league.

She probably is, was his thought. Hanami could likely snag anyone she wanted and here she was, on a date with him, a half-ghoul unbeknownst to her.

"Where are we going?" asked Hanami brightly, tilting her head in such an innocent way. Kaneki smiled as they wove their way through the crowd. "I thought that a bookstore would be a nice place to start," he answered.

It was almost strange; the bookstore was exactly where Kaneki took Rize for their date, before his life changed forever. Visiting it now, with someone else, felt like he was trying to rewrite that memory. Yet Hanami didn't object; in fact, she seemed to glow at the idea of going to the bookstore, her hand squeezing his gently.

It was like a homing signal guiding Kaneki toward the bookstore. As soon as they entered, Hanami's hand relinquished his own. The aura around her was calm as she moved toward a stack of novels to the side, the ends of her long hair fluttering behind. Kaneki followed her as Hanami lingered over the horror novels. She lifted a few of the books, looking over the brief summaries. Kaneki noted a few of the books Hanami held in her arm. "Have you read Takatsuki's novels before, Hanami?" he asked.

"Oh." Hanami looked at the few novels written by Takatsuki in her arms, locks of her light brown hair falling over her shoulder. "I've read a few of her novels when I can. Is she a favorite of yours?" she asked with a soft smile.

Kaneki couldn't help but return it with a shy one of his own. "Am I that easy to figure out?"

Hanami giggled. "You do wear your heart on your sleeve, Kaneki."

My heart on my sleeve? Kaneki's eyes widened. Had Hanami been observing him, watching his behavior the same way Rize had? He thought he had been more careful about that sort of thing in misplacing his trust after what he had been through.

But Hanami is human. She isn't like Rize. Hanami was different. Kaneki could sense that much. However, a surge of guilt bloomed deep within Kaneki's chest. Hanami had no idea that he was a half-ghoul. If she were to find out by being in danger because of him, she wouldn't ever want to see him again-or worse, not living to tell the tale.

This was a bad idea. What on earth was he thinking?

"Kaneki?" Hanami's hand rested on his shoulder, drawing his attention to the concern glimmering in her eyes. Whatever she saw in the depths of his own eyes cemented something in hers; Hanami put the books in her arms back into their proper places before she gently took hold of Kaneki's hand to pull him out of the bookstore.

Once they were outside with the night air hitting them, Kaneki allowed Hanami to pull him as far as the alley where he life changed irrevocably before he stopped, feeling the tug on his hand before Hanami didn't move another step and dropped his hand. She turned around to look at him, her eyes curious. "What's wrong?" she asked softly, twining her fingers together in front of her. "You looked like you were remembering something very unpleasant and I...I didn't..."

"I-It wasn't your fault!" Kaneki blurted out, his cheeks burning with embarrassment and shame. "I-I just...I should have..." He faltered, unsure of what to say for himself. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone of what he was, and now, out on a date with a girl that could read him just as easily as she read her books. He swallowed thickly, trying to will his embarrassment away but to no avail.

Soft hands took hold of his own and the chaos inside of Kaneki halted. Grey eyes clashed with rose red and there was a gentleness in Hanami's eyes that sent a wave of calm through Kaneki. His fingers curled loosely around her hands as Hanami kept her gaze on him. "Kaneki, it's okay. Just tell me what's on your mind," she told him soothingly, her thumbs gently rubbing against the back of his hands.

Could he fully trust her? Could he reveal what he really is and she wouldn't run screaming for the Doves? Kaneki didn't know, wasn't sure how the scenario would play out. Hanami was giving him an opening; he was going to have to bold to take it.

Kaneki took in a deep breath in attempt to calm his nerves as he glanced around to see if they were alone even though it was just as isolated as the last time he was in this alley, the words tumbling from his lips before he could even find a chance to chicken out. "Hanami, I...you deserve to know the truth about me."

Hanami nodded. "Okay."

"Remember when you asked me if this was my first date?"

"Yes."

"Well." Kaneki averted his eyes. "My first date was a little bit like you. She liked to read. On our date, we went to the bookstore and went to eat. What I didn't know was that she was...she was a ghoul."

"A...ghoul?" Hanami whispered and Kaneki forced his eyes back to her. She swallowed, the concern in her eyes becoming brighter. "Kaneki, did she hurt you?"

She wanted to know, Kaneki could see it in her eyes. "There was an accident. Her organs were transplanted into me."

Hanami's eyes wavered, her expression screaming with pity that it twisted Kaneki's stomach. It was strange, but he didn't want that pretty face to be twisted with such a negative emotion. "Hanami--"

Her name barely escaped his lips when she squeezed his hands. Her expression was different now, tender and kind, that Kaneki's heart skipped a beat. "Thank you for telling me," replied Hanami.

Silence hung between them that Kaneki was sure his pounding heart would be heard before a soft smile graced his lips, the warmth of relief spreading inside of him as his trek down memory lane brought to mind what Hide had told him when Kaneki first asked out Rize. "You know, I always thought most people would find my bookstore date idea lame," he said softly, despite that they both had left the store without buying anything. "Thanks for having fun with me...or at least, being really talented at acting."

Hanami shook her head, returning his smile. "I'm a terrible actress, Kaneki, of that I can assure you. I should be thanking you, for asking me out on this date."

A laugh escaped the dark-haired half-breed as Hanami's hands left his shoulder, a giggle bubbling forth from her lips. When the laughter subsided, Kaneki found his entire body relaxed. His hand reached for Hanami's, boldly, twining their fingers. "The last time I tried anything like this, well, it didn't really work out. So, thank you," he said.

"How many times are you going to say that, silly?" asked Hanami, crimson irises twinkling in amusement.

"Probably all night if you let me get away with it.

"Silly!"

When another, exuberant laugh left Hanami, Kaneki felt warmth deep inside. I want to hear her laugh more, he thought, watching as Hanami calmed down from calling him silly. Dare he hope that it was used as a pet name already?

"This might not make a lot of sense," murmured Kaneki, squeezing Hanami's hand gently, "but, I needed this. I needed to know that maybe if things were different, I could've...been happy."

The sentiment brought forth a feeling of sorrow that Kaneki kept inside. His life had changed since he encountered Rize, seemingly for the worst. It was a turmoil of unhappiness and a rather abrupt change of view about the ghouls he had come to know, a family of sorts that he wouldn't part with now. Yet he still wondered, always wondered if maybe, if things were different...

When Hanami didn't reply, Kaneki looked at her carefully, at the wonder in her eyes. Heat rushed to his cheeks again. "Uh, sorry! I don't mean to be weird!" he blurted.

"I don't think it's weird at all," replied Hanami, rather graciously unless Kaneki was imagining it. He relaxed, finding himself stroking the back of her hand with his thumb like Hanami had done earlier. "I want to thank you for the wonderful date, Hanami. I don't know if I'll be able to do this again, but..." Kaneki paused, hesitating for a moment before he continued his train of thought. "I want to remember tonight. I want to remember you, so..."

"Kaneki." Hanami's voice gave him pause before--

It was instant and Kaneki hadn't expected it to happen quite that suddenly. A soft sound of surprise was muffled when Hanami's lips met his. The shock of the contact had Kaneki release Hanami's hand, yet...

So soft.

It felt like an eternity that he didn't want to end, but when Hanami pulled away, her cheeks were flushed a sweetly pink. Kaneki was sure her heart was racing as fast as his right now. "I-I'm sorry. I...I didn't know what came over me," she stammered, lifting a hand to her flushed cheek. His fingers ached with a maddened longing to touch her.

"O-Oh." The word left Kaneki's throat hoarsely as he lifted a finger to his lips. They felt warm from the kiss and his tongue ghosted along his lower lip, catching the essence of a sweetness on his flesh. His mind reeled as Kaneki found himself in a flustered state. "Be careful, Hanami. Having your taste on my lips could be...dangerous," he murmured lowly, a warning for her.

The energy brimming inside of him was dangerous. It was reckless, exhilarating, and he wanted to kiss her again.

Whatever Hanami saw in his eyes was enough for her to move closer to him, their bodies barely touching and Kaneki, in a fit of boldness, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. The heat between them felt so wonderful that he couldn't seem to get enough. Hanami's hands rested against his chest, her fingers splayed, as she looked up at him. Her rose red eyes darkened into a hazy ruby as she bit onto her lower lip. "Maybe...maybe, I don't mind that," she murmured, tilting her head toward his.

The kiss was slightly clumsy, but smoldering this time that Kaneki vaguely wondered if this form of burning ecstasy was what lovers feel when they steal kisses in public. It felt as though it were a prelude of more to come and he wanted more. He deepened the kiss slightly, hungrily, and pleasure seared him clean when Hanami responded, her fingers gliding up to press against the back of his neck. His own hands roamed, one rising to cradle the back of Hanami's head and the other against the small of her back.

"Kaneki..." Hanami whispered against his lips, sending a tidal wave of chills down his spine. Kaneki curled his fingers against Hanami's back, wanting to keep her there. There was a plea in her saying his name; there was no way he was mistaken. Even in his inexperience, Kaneki read enough to recognize the sound in Hanami's voice: desire.

"Right here?" Kaneki asked curiously, pulling back slightly to look into Hanami's eyes. There was a curiosity burning in them, a hunger that he was positive she shared with him in this very moment. It felt innocent and carnal all at once. "That's a little bit ironic, but...I'm okay with it," he added softly.

"What's ironic?" asked Hanami, just as softly, and Kaneki pressed his body against hers curiously. She moved backwards and, like a magnet, Kaneki followed until Hanami was pressed against the wall. The feeling coursing through him was so strange, so new, but Kaneki couldn't find the strength to resist. He could feel it in the way of how Hanami pulled him closer that she couldn't resist either.

"Wanting to kiss you here, where everything changed for me," he murmured his answer to her question before leaning in to kiss Hanami again and again and again, each kiss deeper and needier than the last. He could forget, even for a moment, about that memory; he could rewrite it, right here, with someone who wanted him just as much as he wanted her without fate being cruel. Let me have this...just let me have this...

Hanami's arms were around his neck now and Kaneki shivered at her matching his fervor, breaking the kiss for a moment, breathing slightly ragged, as he took in Hanami's flushed cheeks, glazed eyes, and swollen lips. He needed more.

She tilted her head slightly, her soft palm against his cheek. "Kaneki?"

He turned his head slightly, his lips brushing against her palm. "You're so cute," he breathed against her flesh. "I could just eat you up..."

Hanami's hand trailed from his face, her fingers brushing against his lips. She leaned close to him, their lips barely centimeters apart. All she murmured were two words, two little words, to push them both into a passion that they could not take back.

"Go ahead."

[astrogeoguy]

Sunday’s Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse Explained, and Venus Kisses Jupiter in the Morning!

(Above: Michael Watson of Toronto is an avid moon and eclipse imager. He captured the April 15, 2014 total lunar eclipse and assembled this beautiful composite that clearly shows Earth’s circular shadow.)

Hello, Stargazers!

Here are your Astronomy Skylights for the week of January 20th, 2019 by Chris Vaughan. Feel free to pass this along to your friends and send me your comments, questions, and suggested topics. I repost these emails with photos at http://astrogeoguy.tumblr.com/ where all the old editions are archived. You can also follow me on Twitter as @astrogeoguy! Unless otherwise noted, all times are Eastern Time. Please click this MailChimp link to subscribe to these emails. If you are a teacher or group leader interested joining me on a guided field trip to York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory or the David Dunlap Observatory, visit www.astrogeo.ca.

I can bring my Digital Starlab inflatable planetarium to your school or other daytime or evening event, visit DiscoveryPlanitarium.com and request me. We’ll tour the Universe together! 

My latest column for Space.com talks about using astronomy apps to enjoy Sunday night’s total lunar eclipse. You can find it here. 

(Above: Once the moon wanes and rises later towards the end of this week, enjoy the sights of the Winter Milky Way, which rises through Canis Major, Monoceros, Orion, Gemini, and Auriga.)

Public Astro-Events

If skies are clear on Sunday night, January 20, starting at 10 pm, York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory will host a free public viewing session for the total lunar eclipse on top of the Arboretum Parking Garage. Parking charges will apply. Details are here. 

Every Monday evening, York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory runs an online star party - broadcasting views from four telescopes/cameras, answering viewer questions, and taking requests! Details are here. On Wednesday nights they offer free public viewing through their rooftop telescopes. If it’s cloudy, the astronomers give tours and presentations. Details are here. 

On Friday, January 25 from 6 to 7 pm, the Royal Ontario Museum and the Canadian space Agency will hold a free session entitled Getting to Know Bennu: Updates on the OSIRIS-REx Asteroid Sample-Return Mission. It will be held in the ROM in the Signy and Cléophée Eaton Theatre, Level 1B. Details and registration is here. 

On Saturday, January 26, starting at 7 pm, U of T’s AstroTour will present their free planetarium show entitled Grand Tour of the Cosmos. Details are here. 

The Super Blood Wolf Moon (Total Lunar Eclipse)

Last week, I wrote about tonight’s (Sunday) total lunar eclipse and posted it with diagrams here. Read on for an update on that information.

You’ve probably seen references to Sunday’s lunar eclipse as a Super Blood Wolf Moon, or a permutation of those words. These dramatic terms might elicit chuckles and/or eye rolls from astronomers, but they serve a purpose – to capture the imagination of the public and get them to head outside and look up! There are valid reasons for using each part of that label. Let’s break that down. 

Blood Moon - The Earth is a solid sphere.  The sunlight shining on Earth casts a circular shadow into space opposite from the sun. When an object, such as the International Space Station or the moon, passes through that shadow, no direct sunlight can reach it, so the object darkens. Some of the sunlight streaming closely past Earth passes through our atmosphere. The air refracts (or bends) the rays of sunlight because it slows the light down a little, and that refraction allows a small percentage of the sunlight, bent around the Earth’s perimeter, to reach the moon and slightly illuminate it. If Earth had no atmosphere, the moon would turn completely dark during a lunar eclipse! 

During totality, only red light reaches the moon because our atmosphere scatters some wavelengths of light more than others. White sunlight is composed of a rainbow of component colours. The sky is blue in daytime because the molecules in the air scatter shorter wavelength blue light and lets longer wavelength red light pass straight through. Try this experiment. Shine a flashlight through a glass of water placed near the wall in a darkened room. You’ll see a distorted beam of white light on the wall. Now put a few drops of milk in the glass and the entire liquid will glow with a bluish light! If you didn’t add too much milk, you might also see that light on the wall is a now a warmer colour because the cool, blue wavelengths have been scattered throughout the liquid rather than passing through. The same effect causes sunsets to turn red, and only that reddened light can reach the moon during totality – colouring the moon a rusty red, or blood, colour. 

Wolf Moon – The moon has always shone down upon humans on Earth. Eventually, people began to seek to understand our natural environment and to take advantage of the annual variations in the seasons to schedule planting, harvesting, hunting, and to celebrate life events. The twelve (sometimes thirteen) full moons per year acted as obvious celestial markers. Full moonlight allowed people to be out at night; hunting, or working the fields for extra hours to get the harvest in.   

Each society around the world has its own set of stories for the moon and every month��s full moon has one or more nick-names. The Wolf Moon term is likely derived from North American First Nations traditions, although some think it has an Anglo-Saxon origin. In either case, it’s likely that hungry wolves were calling to one another in the dead of winter, and left an impression on people before our modern era. The January full moon, eclipsed or not, is known as the Wolf Moon, Old Moon, or Moon after Yule. It always shines in or near the stars of Gemini (the Twins) or Cancer (the Crab).  

Super Moon – The moon orbits Earth every 27.3 days. The shape of the orbit is an ellipse that brings the moon alternatively closer and farther from the Earth. The difference in distance between perigee, the point in the moon’s orbit when it is closest to Earth, and apogee, when the moon is farthest away, is about 50,000 km. That causes a perigee moon to appear about 14% larger than an apogee moon – about the difference between a Canadian $1 and $2 coin when held at arm’s length. It’s not that much – visually. The closer moon will also be slightly brighter. 

The term supermoon was coined to describe a full moon that happens while the moon is at or near perigee. January’s eclipsed full moon will occur fifteen hours before perigee, making it appear about 7% larger than average and generating high tides globally. 

The supermoon aspect of this eclipse actually works against us. When the moon is near perigee, it is moving faster in its orbit, so it will cross the Earth’s shadow in a shorter time. The closer moon is also larger, so it remains fully eclipsed for a shorter time. 

(Above:  NASA’s Lunar Eclipse Page lists past and future eclipses. Each event has a web page with diagrams showing the path of the moon through the Earth’s shadow, where on Earth the eclipse will be visible (white areas), and the times for each stage of the eclipse in UT (equivalent to  GMT). The partial eclipse stage will begin when the moon reaches position U1, and the moon will be fully eclipsed from U2 to U3 (about one hour). The second partial eclipse stage will end when the moon reaches U4 - 3 hours and 16 minutes after it began.)

Total Lunar Eclipse Visibility and Timings - This lunar eclipse will be visible start to finish in North and South America, the eastern Pacific Ocean, and westernmost Europe. Much of the eclipse will be seen in central and eastern Europe, but observers there will miss the later stages of the eclipse because they occur after moonset. For the western Pacific region, the moon will rise after the eclipse begins. 

The partial phase, when the edge of the moon begins to darken, will begin when the moon contacts the Earth’s umbra at 10:34 pm EST on Sunday evening in North America (or 7:34 pm Pacific time and 03:34 UT). Starting at that time, look for the darkness to creep over the moon, growing from along its lower left edge. 

At 11:41 pm Eastern time (8:41 pm PST), the last strip of brightly lit moon will vanish as the moon finally entirely enters the Earth’s umbra. The darkened and a coppery red appearance won’t be obvious visually or in photos until the moon is well into the shadow. The moon will stay fully within the shadow (referred to as totality) for 62 minutes. It will pass deeply through the shadow, and the moon’s southern half will appear darker than its northern half. 

Greatest, deepest eclipse will occur at 12:13 am EST. After this, most people will head to bed because the second half of the eclipse mirrors the first half. The total eclipse phase will end when the moon begins to leave the umbra at 12:43 am Eastern Time on Sunday. At that time, look for a growing strip of illuminated moon to appear along the moon’s lower left edge. The partial phase of the eclipse will end at 1:51 am Eastern Time. 

Now you know what to look for, and when to look. If you have a telescope, of any size, hold your phone’s camera over the eyepiece and take some photographs, or prop up  your tablet or phone somewhere and take a time lapse movie of the eclipse. Hopefully the skies will be clear wherever you are! Don’t let cold weather keep you indoors for this one. The next total lunar eclipse won’t occur for the GTA until May, 2022. 

The Moon and Planets

After Sunday night’s total lunar eclipse, the moon will spend the week waning and rising later. On Tuesday night, the moon will pass only two finger widths to the left of the bright, white star Regulus in Leo (the Lion). After mid-week, you can look for the moon in the western morning sky on your way to school or work. 

Next Sunday afternoon, the moon will reach its Last Quarter phase, when it will rise at midnight and appear half-illuminated – on its western side. (Directions on the moon are opposite to sky directions.) 

This week, Mars will shine as a medium-bright, reddish pinpoint of light in the southwestern sky. It will set at about 11:30 pm local time. Mars is slowly shrinking in size and brightness as we increase our distance from it. 

(Above: Mars is the only bright planet in the evening sky nowadays, sitting above Neptune and below Uranus, as shown here at 8 pm local time.)

Blue-green Uranus is about 1.5 finger widths above, and slightly to the left of the modestly bright star Torcular (or Omega Piscium). This week, Uranus will be at its highest point, over the southern horizon, at about 6:30 pm local time – the best position for seeing it clearly. Dim, blue Neptune will set shortly after 9 pm local time, so look at it before 8 pm, while it’s higher. Neptune is sitting about two finger widths to the upper left of the modestly bright star Hydor (Lambda Aquarii). Hydor, and a pair of stars to its east (upper left), form a sideways narrow triangle with Neptune inside of it. 

(Above: On Tuesday morning, descending Venus will pass very close to Jupiter in the southeastern pre-dawn sky, as shown here at 7 am local time. Saturn will be climbing higher every morning.)

Both Saturn and Mercury are too close to the sun to be seen this week, but next week Saturn will join the other two bright morning planets, Jupiter and Venus. Spectacularly bright Venus is now swinging back towards the sun, while not-as-bright Jupiter is being carried the other direction – west and higher. The two planets “kiss” this week. On Tuesday morning, Jupiter will be positioned only 2.5 finger widths south (to the lower right) of Venus. They will both fit within the field of view of binoculars. Look for the bright, reddish star Antares, the “rival of Mars” sitting a palm’s width to the right of Jupiter. 

Keep looking up, and enjoy the sky when you do. I love questions and requests - so, send me some!