#i thought i won in my category by default but it turns out there was ONE other entry lolol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scoobydoofenshmirtz · 3 years

Text

LGBTQ Supernatural Character Breakdown

Okay so yesterday I posted this lovely screenshot of yet another stupid reddit post about spn that I thought was funny and shrugged off as another reddit dudebro thing. However, then @thehappyearth went and actually read through the thread and reported back with results. The opinions of OP were unsurprising, but they got me thinking. Part of the post reads "I would prefer a neutral show that doesn't aim to include LGBT people in nearly every episode.. its unrealistic unless they are in a location where this holds true..example (California)". Now that's ridiculous for a lot of reasons. 1) Not having LGBT people in a show does not make it "neutral." Cishet is not the default human experience, neither is male, nor white nor able-bodied, etc. 2) It's not "unrealistic" to have LGBT in literally any location in the world. We exist everywhere you go. Yes, certain places tend to attract LGBT adults and families due to their culture, legal protections, history, etc. but it's not like there's something in San Francisco water that just makes people there gay at a higher percentage. I assure you, reddit user, there are LGBTQ people in every single place Sam and Dean have visited in the show. 3) like literally it's just homophobic shut up reddit bros. ANWAY...

But what really got me thinking was the "nearly every episode" comment. Like, dude. What show are you watching? But then I thought...wait how many LGBTQ characters actually are there in Supernatural, so I did a little digging and compiled this list (google sheets) of every LGBTQ character to appear on screen. This doesn't include characters who are only mentioned (although there aren't many to add with that anyway). I looked into some different criteria and I included each character, the number of episodes they appeared in, their first and last episode, how many episodes they appeared in as a confirmed LGBTQ character, their sexuality, if they speak or not, and if they died. I also included a description and notes, and noted which characters were in episodes nominated for GLAAD awards. I also included "ambiguous" characters who I either felt weren't "confirmed" as LGBTQ (like the man who is possibly a gay porn star or the sassy yorkie) but in that realm, or characters where there were bigger issues that make it more complicated (Dean, Crowley, and Rowena).

And then I got curious and made a whole second spreadsheet with a list of all the episodes featuring confirmed LGBTQ characters. I included which characters are featured, if it includes an LGBTQ couple, if it features an LGBTQ storyline important to the plot, if it features a recurring LGBTQ character, if any LGBTQ character dies, if it was nominated for a GLAAD award, and my opinion on if it's homophobic. I only included episodes where a character was confirmed LGBTQ when it aired, however I did include retroactively LGBTQ characters when listing what recurring characters are featured.

Some findings under the cut:

I counted a total of 32 on screen (reasonably) confirmed LGBTQ characters in all of Supernatural (for the purposes of this I have counted Charlie and apocalypse Charlie as separate characters). Now when I say confirmed this is a range from Charlie to characters who had a same sex kiss in the background. There is a chance I have missed some, so if you look through this and notice someone missing, please let me know. (Also sidenote I say LGBTQ but there's no confirmed trans characters as far as I could tell). That's an average of 2.13 per season. There are 9 recurring characters and 23 that only appear once. There are 6 with 3 or more episodes. The only characters that appeared in more than 2 episodes while confirmed as an LGBTQ character are Charlie (apocalypse world and regular) and Chuck. Of all these characters 10 are dead (with three of these presumably resurrected off screen) and 22 survived.

If we break it down by era Kripke had 4 with 0 recurring characters and half and half dead/alive. This is .8 per season average. Gamble had 3 and (at the time) none were recurring and none died. This is 1.5 per season average. Carver had 10 including making Chuck bisexual. Charlie also became a recurring character (then she died). This is 2.5 per season average. Dabb has 15 including Castiel and Claire. This included 7 recurring characters and 8 one offs, and 8 alive and 7 dead. This is 3.75 per season average.

As far as sexualities go, we have 3 (presumably) lesbian characters (2 Charlies and Donna's niece) 3 gay characters (Max Banes and 2 one offs who die) and 2 bisexual characters (Chuck and Noah the gorgon). No single character ever refers to themself by any sexuality as far as I can tell, but Alan J Corbett (Ghostfacers intern) and Conner (from the church) are both referred to as gay by other characters. Everyone else I based on context. All the other characters were unspecified as to their specific sexualities.

In terms of episodes with confirmed LGBTQ characters (so characters who at the time the episode was written were reasonably confirmed as LGBTQ) we have 39 total, a bulk of them being episodes that feature either Chuck or Charlie. That's about 12% of all SPN episodes. If you take out episodes that only include either Chuck or Charlie as the confirmed character you have 20 left which is 6.25% of all SPN episodes.

There are 12 episodes that feature an LGBTQ couple, 3.75% of all episodes. There are, by my count, 9 episodes with an LGBTQ storyline important to the plot or 2.8% of episodes. I know this is more subjective but I included Ghostfacers, Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo, LARP and the Real Girl, Sacrifice, The Chitters, Wayward Sisters, Ouroboros, Gimme Shelter, and Despair.

If we break down writers from who has the most episodes with confirmed LGBTQ characters Robbie Thompson comes in the lead with 9, Buckleming next with 6, Bobo and Dabb with 5, Yockey and Glynn with 4, Davy Perez with 3, and Nick Vaught, Nancy Won, Nancy Weiner, Eric Kripke, Jeremy Carver, Sera Gamble, Brett Matthews, and Bed Edlund all having 1. As far as writers who introduced new LGBTQ characters or canonized previously existing ones we have again Robbie Thompson in the lead with 7, Dabb with 6 (although 4 were from co-written episodes), Berens with 4, Yockey and Glynn with 3, Brett Matthews, Davy Perez, Nancy Weiner, Eric Kripke, and Nancy Won all with 2. Gamble and Edlund each have 1 and Buckleming sort of have 1 since they introduced apocalypse world Charlie. All of this is quantity not quality, so keep that in mind.

As far as deaths go, Bobo has the most with 3.5. 3 of those are from Despair where the characters were all (possibly) resurrected and the .5 is for Kaia who later turned out to not actually be dead. Yockey has 2 (both from Ouroboros). Edlund, Glynn, Perez, and Gamble all have 1 and Dabb also has .5 for cowriting Wayward Sisters.

The LGBTQ character who appears in the most episodes is very obviously Castiel who appears in 142 total episodes. Chuck is next with 19 and then Charlie with 7. Chuck has the most episodes as a confirmed LGBTQ character with 12 total and Charlie has 7.

Apologies if any of the math on this is wrong or if I left anyone out. Feel free to let me know and I'll correct the documents.

So really I don't know why I did this but basically yeah I don't know what fantasy world those reddit dudes are living in with LGBT people in nearly every episode (unless he's counting Castiel which...win for the gays I guess?). Nothing about this was particularly surprising but it's interesting to see all these things laid out and play around with the categories. Um...hope you enjoyed this i guess. lol

#supernatural #spn #spn meta #castiel #charlie bradbury #long post #also thank you robbie thompson you gave us 7 total gays and did not kill a single one #good job king

41 notes · View notes

togachipblog · 4 years

Text

A Chip Off the Old Block

Every once and a while, I try to give you insight into the process of creating blog posts. I try to create snappy, creative and attention grabber headlines. My initial idea for this post was to use "The Potato Doesn't Fall far from the Tree." My daughter, Alexandra, nixed the idea and told me that everyone who reads your blog will think you are an idiot because everyone knows that potatoes don't grow on a tree. So I defaulted to this deadline even though its been used by chippers for many years. Unless you are in the snack food industry, it's a good bet that most of you never heard of Steve Bernard, but you are most likely familiar with the first part of his legacy. Steve went from installing sun roofs on cars to founding Cape Cod Potato Chips on July 4, 1980 . As his obituary shows, inspired by the Maui chip, he brought the kettle chip back to prominence. Kettle cooking is a process where "sliced potatoes are soaked in hot oil in a shallow basin and hand-stirred with rakes." http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/13/business/13bernard.html

An out of control car crashed into his front window, where just moments before, his eight year old daughter had been standing. The driver got out of the wreckage and asked where he could get the kettle chips. The publicity from the accident and an insurance settlement kept the company operating until the summer season when the product took off. In 1985, Steve sold the company to Anheuser Busch, the maker of Budweiser and Michelob beers, which had launched its own snack food business, Eagle Snacks. Ten year later, after Anheuser Busch pulled the plug on its snack food venture, it sold the company back to Steve for pennies on the dollar. He later sold Cape Cod to Lance, which became Snyder's Lance and was later purchased by Campbell's Soup. Sort of reminds me of a yo-yo which was the subject or a previous blog posting. See the photo from March 1988 of an employee with bags of Cape Cod Potato Chips on the assembly line. In 2001, Steve worked with his daughter, Nicole Bernard Dawes to found Late July Organic Snacks, which makes cookies and crackers. Steve died in 2009 at the age of 61 from pancreatic cancer. Snyder's Lance invested in the company and it is now part of the Campbell's Soup snack division that also owns Cape Cod Potato Chips.

At SNAXPO18, the 2018 Producer of the Year Award was won by Late July Organic Snacks. Late July is a leader in organic, non-GMO snacks, most notably known for its strong level of innovation in the tortilla chip category with sales over $100 million. Offering four lines of tortilla chips, a variety of organic crackers, and most recently expansion into salsas.

Here is the link to read more about the award: https://www.snackandbakery.com/articles/91341-snack-producer-of-the-year-carefree-organic-snacking-with-late-july-snacks

Steve Bernard, Who Founded Cape Cod Chips, Dies at 61

By BRUCE WEBERMARCH 13, 2009

Steve Bernard, who was a restless adventurer and uncommitted entrepreneur until 1980, when he bought an industrial potato slicer and started Cape Cod Potato Chips, a brand that found its way from a storefront in Hyannis, Mass., to food markets nationwide, died Saturday in Hyannis. He was 61 and lived in Marstons Mills, Mass., and Sanibel, Fla.

The cause was pancreatic cancer, said his daughter, Nicole Bernard Dawes.

A natural product, just potatoes, oil and salt, Mr. Bernard’s chips are known for their crunch, which is a result of the way they are made. The process, called kettle-cooking, borrowed an old-fashioned method of making chips in which sliced potatoes are soaked in hot oil in a shallow basin and hand-stirred with rakes. Continuous frying, in which the potatoes were moved on a conveyor through a long vat of oil, had been largely in use after World War II.

“He didn’t invent the kettle chip, but he was involved in bringing it back to prominence,” James A. McCarthy, president of the Snack Food Association, an international trade group, said Thursday in an interview.

Mr. Bernard started the company after his wife, Lynn, opened a natural foods store in the 1970s. An avid cook and appreciative eater, he was struck by the idea that healthful, unprocessed foods could taste good. A friend gave him a natural potato chip made in Hawaii, where the manufacturer, Maui Chips, had done a solid local business for many years. Mr. Bernard presumed he could do the same thing in the East, selling healthful snacks to summer tourists.

He knew nothing about making potato chips, and the company, which opened on July 4, 1980, was in dire straits the next winter when what seemed to be a disaster turned out to be its salvation. An out-of-control car drove through the front window, where his daughter, then 8, had been standing minutes before.

Mr. Bernard was distraught, his daughter said, until an oblivious customer walked in through the wreckage and ordered a bag of chips. “And he thought, ‘Well, maybe there’s a way,’ ” she said.

The publicity from the accident — and an insurance settlement — sustained the company until summer. At its end, “he could not make chips fast enough,” Ms. Dawes said.

Cape Cod chips were picked up by several supermarket chains, and Anheuser-Busch bought the company in 1985. By the end of 1986, according to news reports, the company was selling 80,000 bags a day.

Stephen Francis Bernard was born in Concord, N.H., on Aug, 25, 1947. He graduated from the University of Notre Dame, where he studied economics, and then spent a decade in many pursuits: hitchhiking cross-country, fighting forest fires in Alaska, sailing to the Caribbean. He raised chickens and worked on a tuna boat. Before making chips, he was installing sun roofs in cars.

In addition to Ms. Dawes, of Chatham, Mass., and his wife, whom he married in 1971, he is survived by three brothers, Sergius, of Wenham, Mass., Jude, of Satellite Beach, Fla., and James, of Vermont; a sister, Virginia Kenny, of Charlottesville, Va.; and two grandchildren.

In 1995, Mr. Bernard bought his company back from Anheuser-Busch, but subsequently sold it again, this time to Lance, a snack food company based in Charlotte, N.C. In the interim, he had opened a sandwich shop, where he sold croutons made from the leftover bread and eventually started a crouton company, Chatham Village Foods, which he sold to the T. Marzetti Company. In 2001, he and Ms. Dawes founded Late July Organic Snacks, which makes cookies and crackers.

The Toga Chip Guy

3 notes · View notes

m39 · 2 years

Text

Doom WADs’ Roulette: Revenant Awards 2001

DOOMGUY AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE DEMON’S STONE – REVENANT AWARDS 2001 EDITION

Well, folks, it’s that time again. The time when I round up the WADs from the Doomworld’s list and give awards to those that gave the most fun. Like 2000, we have a case where the half of the WADs are for the one category while the rest is quite diverse in terms of their map amounts. Not as much as the previous year but still all of that half win by default in their categories whenever they require source port or not.

So, without any further to do, let’s check out our first category, and see which WAD deserves to be called a winner.

SOLE SURVIVOR – BEST ONE-MAP WAD OF THE YEAR

We will start with the WADs that require the source port to be played because these ones are the only ones where there is an actual competition. And choosing the winner was easier than I thought. Phobia (or rather, Despair) was very good but I don’t think it counts as a winner because, one, it’s more like a demo for the WAD that would later win one of the Cacowards, and two, the gameplay options might confuse some people, expecting the typical Doom stuff and ending up with something different.

As for KZDoom7, it was good but the ending of this map went up more towards cheap difficulty.

So now we have the two maps that deserve the award the most: Sin City and Vrack 2. Both have their highlights, and both are perfect for ZDoom/Boom respectively. But if I had to choose one, I would give the Sole Survivor award for the best one-map long WAD to Vrack 2. I basically had more fun with this map despite the fact that Sin City has no hitscanners. I can’t believe I’m saying that.

As for the Vanilla map that won by default, Null Space, I still can’t believe how good this map is. Probably one of the best Doom maps I’ve played at this moment. And the fact that it was created in such a way to be played without requiring a source port, is astonishing.

PLATINUM REVENANT – BEST 10-19 MAPS LONG WAD/MEGAWAD OF THE YEAR

Okay, look, there is no bullshitting around, Equinox is a much better WAD than SlayeR and it gave me much more fun than the latter. It doesn’t matter if both WADs required source port or not, it doesn’t change the fact that SlayeR’s difficulty feels hard for the wrong, unfair reasons half the time. Now looks, Equinox isn’t perfect, it has its own problems, but it is such a good WAD overall, that I feel like its problems can be ignored, unlike SlayeR.

OTHER AWARDS

And now for the WADs that won by default.

Pug of Pink award (2-7 maps) goes to Doom Resurrection. While it’s very annoying that you have to use some editing program to properly launch it by removing one part of it, and then it still ends up unbeatable if you play it without god mode, if you get past those, you will see another case for the WADs focusing more on plot and ZDoom scripting that they are becoming better paced and better story wise.

Full Deck of Diamonds award (30-32 maps) goes to Revolution!. It shows that you don’t need a source port to make a good WAD. You just need an idea and talent to make it stand equally among the other WADs that require a source port.

And the last award of 2001, Off the Wall, (partial/total conversion) goes to The Darkest Hour: A Star Wars WAD. A case of making a WAD based on Dark Forces that turned out to be pretty good in my opinion.

CONCLUSION

And that’s the winners, folks. But unfortunately, that’s not the end for me and 2001. Because I said I will review MAP31 of SlayeR after ending 2001’s Revenant Awards. And I’m gonna keep my promise. Whether I like it or not.

I’ll see you all then.

...

Shit...

#award ceremony #doom #Doom 2 #ultimate doom #Doom WAD #doom mod #2001 #doom 2001 #Doom WADs’ Roulette #Revenant Awards

0 notes

xavidotron · 6 years

Text

I’m not bold enough to write this as a “Speculative Queerness Manifesto”

I don’t really write or talk about being genderqueer or queerness in general. It’s hard to talk about things I haven’t really figured out, I guess. I don’t really have self-consensus on much.

But in some ways, the story I’m the right person to tell should be based on who I am, I guess. (Technically I’ve written more with DID representation than genderqueer representation, but that just sorta happened.)

Anyways, a while back Jennachat folks, largely @geostatonary and @laenan, had some discourse about what a Queer Narrative might be, as distinct from queer representation. I won’t try to present their perspectives; I’m sure I’d get it wrong. But that, in combination with some other stuff like @templeofshame‘s Flying V JoCo show, Where The Water Tastes Like Wine, and my continual desire to figure out what a non-fanfic response to Hitherby would look like, has had me thinking about this stuff a lot.

The way I’m seeing it right now, there are different “levels” a… non-defaulting, or whatever, work can operate on. (I’m primarily thinking about queerness, but hypothetical distinctly queer examples are also hard for me to think of and insert concisely, and I feel like this same analysis also applies to other things like “feminist” gender-role subversions as well as other types of marginalization I’m less well-situated to speak on. I’m gonna mostly say “queer” here and handwave the fact that some of my examples are more properly gay, because it’s my party, but I think the same analysis applies to other forms of non-defaulting to varying extents.)

Level 1: Representation by Substitution/Normalizing Queerness

A knight rescues a princess from a dragon and they get married, except the knight’s a girl. Or maybe a girl rescues a prince. Nothing changes about the story.

Basic representation is good! I want there to be books like that for my kids to read, and not have everything fit in problematic defaults.

But it’s also sort of fundamentally boring and superficial? It doesn’t really acknowledge that there’s more to the queer, or gay, or whatever experience than just gender substitutions.

At least one queer character needs to be main or central to get this far. If you have people being queer in the background or whatever, I’mma knock you down to Level .5.

Level 2: Representation With Consequences/Informing

This is about media that deals with realistic or expected consequences of the non-defaulting aspects. Someone gets disowned for being a lesbian. People worry about how to come out. People deal with stereotypes, bias, and other types of marginalization.

These can be great. I love Freakboy a lot. In some ways these are educational, and they can be good in both showing queers dealing with these realistic issues that they’re not alone and show them possible positive paths forward.

I’d put Alanna and Protector of the Small in the feminism version of this category.

Level 1.5: Provocative Normalization

There are some things that might be strictly in Level 1 but I really like them so I put them in their own category: straightforward substitutions that don’t necessarily have meaningful in-universe consequences but nevertheless are thought-provoking or boundary-pushing to the audience in a way that seems well-considered and perhaps designed to confront the audience with their preconceptions. Flying V’s Skullcrusher Mountain with a woman as the supervillian and a man as the helpless prisoner felt like this to me (for the gender roles ladder). Gems all being identified as female would maybe be this on its own (though Steven Universe overall is Level 3). In A World Rapidly Turning To Cards might barely sneak its way because of Mathilda’s last line.

I guess @prokopetz’s Costume Fairy Adventures is here, near as I can tell assuming that all characters are girls without ever actually saying this anywhere? Golden Sky Stories is in a similar but less punch-you-in-the-face place with the example characters being girls but not being prescriptive about it.

Level 3: Extended/Speculative Queerness

But there’s a different sort of queer reader, one that’s seen level 2 narratives, is generally well-informed, and maybe has figured out something about their life. While Level 2 issues are still hard in various ways, they’re familiar in a way they aren’t to a nonqueer or a “new” queer. Their queerness is no longer uncomfortable or transgressive.

At the same time, equality is not a checklist where you check off everything and then you’ve won. Gay marriage, check. Trans gender recognition, check. There’ll always be new pokemon to catch, so to speak. There will always be queerness on the margins, there will always be a new struggle.

So, to have this sort of impact, particularly in a work targeting a queer audience, you need to be speculative, go beyond the “standard” forms. You need to push the boundaries into what’s uncomfortable or transgressive even to queer readers.

In a sense, it’s similar to what magical realism does. If I was doing this as a proper manifesto, it’d include something like “A queer narrative can't be purely realistic. Queer lives don't fit into the consensus reality around them.”

Examples that I put in this category include:

Dream Askew, with gender presentations like “gargoyle” and “goddess”

Monsterhearts as well

that story by @porpentine

presumably We Know The Devil, which I was totally actually going to play for real this time and then Where The Water Tastes Like Wine took over my quanta

Hitherby Dragons is arguably this for abuse victims? Though the analysis on why you take an indirect/speculative/magical realism approach is presumably quite a bit different.

Singularity, the transhuman dating show LARP

This is obviously the interesting, challenging space that I’d want to try to position myself in.

Level 3x: Metaphors with Plausible Deniability

Some things feel like they’re almost at Level 3 except they don’t come out and talk about the queerness of their metaphors, and they’re not blatant enough to have unambiguous authorial intent. The example that comes to mind is Flying V’s lesbian version of I’m Your Moon, which ends up making the song feel very trans to me (even though probably neither the song nor the staging had that in mind).

A trans reading of The Girl Who Was Plugged In might be in this category? (The presumably more-conventional feminist reading would be straight Level 3.)

I guess this whole category is questionable because it’s more a function of an analysis of the work than the work itself. But death of the author and all that.

A Different Lens

Another way to look at the concepts I’m thinking about here is in what terms things are defined. In a Level 1 story, relationships/identities/interactions are based on mainstream structures with superficial changes or swaps. At Level 2, mainstream structures are fundamentally not working but new structures are being understood in terms of more familiar mainstream structures because that’s the available basis point. At Level 3, perhaps there’s more active rejection of mainstream structures as a basis, or maybe there’s active pursuit of relationships/identities/interactions that are sufficiently radical as to not directly derive from familiar mainstream structures. Gem Fusion is like sex or dating in some ways, but it can’t be defined just in terms of sex and accurately reflect how it works in the show.

(I do feel like I like this as an aspect of queerness, an explicit refusal to be content to subvert expectations because that’s still defining oneself in terms of expectations. Something for me to think about more.)

I sorta want to make a case about queer narratives breaking medium assumptions, based on Queers in love at the End of the World, Undertale, and Dream Askew, but I don’t have enough examples or well-formed analysis as of currently.

Closing Thoughts

All models are wrong. Some are useful. Do not mistake another’s model for your own truth.

#queerness #narrative #levels #death of the author #tabletopping

16 notes · View notes

theliberaltony · 7 years

Link

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

micah (Micah Cohen, politics editor): Greetings, friends. It’s a snow-day politics chat! This week, we’re pilfering a great idea from RealClearPolitics elections analyst Sean Trende (dear readers, if you don’t read Trende, you should).

Imagine you're placing a large bet on the outcome of the House, but you can know who will win any one House race beforehand (but not the margin). Which do you pick?I might say TX-32. @Redistrict @nathanlgonzales @NateSilver538 @Nate_Cohn @geoffreyvs @kkondik @databyler @DavidNir

— Sean T at RCP (@SeanTrende) February 28, 2018

So that’s the basic idea. We’ll each offer a district one by one and then discuss why we think it’s likely to capture the national mood in 2018.

I drew names out of a hat. Clare, you’re first.

clare.malone (Clare Malone, senior political writer): I choose California’s 45th Congressional District.

It’s held by Republican Mimi Walters, but Hillary Clinton won it by 5 percentage points in 2016. It’s in the general Los Angeles area, and it has the suburban voter types who I think are the sort that we’ve seen be more persuadable to the Democratic side in the special elections we’ve had since President Trump’s election. I’m interested in that particular group of voters this year and think the California 45th would give me a decent handle on them if it were the only race I were allowed to know the result of.

The midterms could be a fascinating time to see if it’s a trend — college-educated voters moving more to the left on the political spectrum and finding a more permanent home with Democrats, especially after a tumultuous couple years of President Trump.

micah: To be clear, these suburban voters moved toward Democrats in 2016, and seem to have stayed there in the special elections, but haven’t moved more toward Democrats since 2016.

I think?

nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, FiveThirtyEight contributor): Well, in Pennsylvania 18, Conor Lamb outperformed Clinton in suburban Allegheny County — the most suburban part of that district — by 19 points. Of course, he outperformed Clinton everywhere, but it shows that Democrats can do better among suburban voters than Clinton did.

micah: And yeah, college-educated voters could be pivotal in 2018 …

nrakich: Yeah, they are going to turn out.

I agree with Clare that California 45 is an ideal test case for them.

perry (Perry Bacon Jr., senior writer): So Walters won by 17 percentage points in 2016, though. It would take a big swing for Democrats to win it.

clare.malone: The Democratic candidates who are opposing Walters, or running in the primary, will get a fair amount of attention. You’ve got Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris endorsing Katie Porter. I think especially because it’s in California, a Democratic stronghold, you’re going to see a big turnout effort and a lot of organizing as the year goes on. (The primary hasn’t happened yet, by the by, and there are other candidates.)

I think that gap will narrow, Perry, is my general point.

nrakich: And Republicans are in danger of getting shut out of the general election in both the gubernatorial and Senate races in California, thanks to the top-two primary system. California could have two Democrats facing off in the general election in statewide races.

Without a Republican at the top of the ticket to drive GOP turnout, House Republicans like Walters could be in real trouble.

micah: Yeah, the GOP seems to have overperformed there in 2016? California 45 has a FiveThirtyEight partisan lean of just 1 or 2 percentage points in the GOP’s favor. (I’ll add a chart showing where California 45 and every other district sits according to our partisan lean metric once everyone unveils their pick.)

clare.malone: I guess this is also a good time to point out a piece from our dearly departed Harry. He wrote about how Democrats focusing on Republican-held seats in a few very blue states could swing the House for them. It’s another reason I’m more confident about this being a close one.

nrakich: Well, Walters seems like a strong incumbent. But I think it’s also going to be valuable to know how strong incumbents do in 2018. Will they get swept away in a broadly anti-Republican wave, or will voters still consider the merits of individual candidates?

That’s why I think California 45 is a better pick than California 49, for instance.

perry: Where Darrell Issa is retiring.

clare.malone: Yeah. I skipped a lot of races in the toss-up categories in Cook Political Report’s ratings because I thought the incumbents were too well-known. I kinda want an under-the-radar candidate to tell me something.

Not like, Dave Brat or Karen Handel.

micah: OK … Nathaniel, you go next.

So far, Clare is winning!

nrakich: In the proud FiveThirtyEight Slack chat tradition, I am going to cheat and pick two districts!

micah: You see what kind of example you set, Clare and Perry?

clare.malone: Micah, I am a consummate rule follower.

micah:

nrakich: Partly because I don’t want to repeat the points that Clare and Perry have/will make, but also partly because I am interested in this question of whether 2012 or 2016 is the correct baseline for the nation’s default political makeup/geography going forward.

The two districts are the 2nd in Maine, home of Republican Bruce Poliquin, and the Illinois 6th, home of Republican Peter Roskam.

Maine’s 2nd District is the epitome of a white, working-class district that shifted from then-President Barack Obama (who won it by 9 points in 2012) to Trump (who won it by 10 points).

According to census figures, it’s less well-off and has lower levels of education than the nation overall, with a median household income of $46,638 and only 23 percent of residents with bachelor’s degrees.

Going by election results from 2012, when Democrats did not quite as terribly with voters with less education, this should be an easy Democratic pickup. Going by results from 2016, when Democrats did much worse among voters with less education, it’s a reach.

So knowing who wins it in 2018 would tell us pretty clearly whether Democrats can compete in white, working-class areas again.

Illinois 6 (northwest of Chicago) is sort of the opposite principle: It is very well educated (52 percent bachelor’s degrees) and wealthy ($97,387) and went from supporting Mitt Romney (+8) to Clinton (+7).

If we know Democrats are winning there, maybe the suburbs are the true path forward for them.

micah: Are we getting competitive races in both, you think?

nrakich: Well, that’s the question!

Right now, yes, both are rated as competitive by outlets like Inside Elections/Cook Political Report.

micah: Lemme rephrase: Are we getting contested races in both?

nrakich: Yes. In Illinois 6, scientist Sean Casten will be the Democratic nominee. And in Maine 2, Democrats have two interesting candidates in conservationist Lucas St. Clair and former Susan Collins staffer Jared Golden.

clare.malone: By the way, Nathaniel, you’re not the only one who thinks Maine 2 is interesting! I went up there in September 2016 and did a story about its shift.

nrakich: I loved that story, Clare! Maine 2 is beautiful and interesting, and I love visiting there whenever I can.

clare.malone: And you’re right: The Obama-Trump voter is the big question mark, not just for the midterms, but also for two years from now for any Democratic candidate.

nrakich: One more thought: If Democrats win BOTH of my races, then “whoa, Nelly.” Wave time.

And if Republicans win both, it’s clearly been a disappointing night for Democrats.

micah: So I guess because Trump is so unpopular, I would sorta expect the GOP’s gains among white, working-class voters to revert to the mean a bit in 2018 and for Democrats to still overperform among college-educated suburban types.

nrakich: I agree that it will be a mix of both.

micah: That might not get Democrats both districts, but it’s not like they have to pick one or the other.

nrakich: No, of course not. But I purposefully chose districts that were roughly equally Obamay-Trumpy and Romneyey-Clintony.

micah: Yeah.

nrakich: Whereas a district like the 32nd in Texas (Pete Sessions’s district, which Romney won by 16 but Clinton won by 2) might flip only if 2016 results are MUCH more predictive than 2012 results, only a slight bias toward one of those years would probably be enough to lift either Maine 2 or Illinois 6 closer to the top of Democrats’ target lists.

clare.malone: This whole question of flipping voters in Maine 2 back toward Democrats … it’s basically what Joe Biden’s potential candidacy will be based on. Not to turn this too much toward 2020, but it’s why you saw him stumping hard for someone like Conor Lamb in the Pittsburgh area with a lot of white, culturally conservative voters that Maine 2 has a lot of (big Second Amendment place). Anyhoo!

micah: From Politico’s Playbook on Wednesday:

JOE BIDEN is scheduled to meet with the Blue Collar Caucus, a group of House Democrats led by Reps. Brendan Boyle of Pennsylvania and Marc Veasey of Texas. This is subject to delay, if the Capitol is closed today.

clare.malone: Very 2006 Howard Dean Dems!

micah: I didn’t know there was a Blue Collar Caucus!

perry: I didn’t either.

clare.malone: I mean, it just sounds like a rebranding of the Blue Dogs.

micah: They should rename it the “Blue Dog Collar Caucus”

ZING!

I’ll be here all week.

nrakich: Hm, I would be careful conflating Blue Dog and Blue Collar. Bernie Sanders appealed to a lot of blue-collar folks, for instance.

But I generally agree with Clare re: Biden.

clare.malone: What’s your differentiation?

micah: Blue Dog is more moderate.

Bernie is a socialist. (jk

)

nrakich: Right. Blue-collar can refer to hard-core workers’ rights voters, for instance.

Less the Second Amendment voters.

clare.malone: That’s the basic gist — a lot of union politics of years gone by could be called “socialist” in today’s politics. I think they’re both groups that are moving to appeal on economic issues

micah: Yeah, that’s fair — maybe similar demographics but Blue Dogs are more conservative on social issues while Bernie-types just de-emphasize them.

nrakich: Right.

But blue-collar can refer to both.

clare.malone: 2018, baby!

micah: lol

clare.malone: Same Coca-Cola, just a new bottle.

micah: ok, Perry, you’re up!

perry: I chose Virginia’s 10th Congressional District, currently held by Republican Barbara Comstock.

This is somewhat similar to Mimi Walters and to the broader theme that Republicans might have trouble in districts near big cities (Comstock represents a suburban area near Washington, D.C., that is full of federal workers.) She won by 6 percentage points in 2016, but Trump lost there by 10.

I picked this one because this is the way Republicans hold the House I think …

Strong incumbents like Comstock survive by saying that they are not part of the broader party (she voted against Obamacare repeal, for example).

Incumbents hold onto some districts that are drawn favorably toward Republicans.

This won’t necessarily happen in Virginia 10, but maybe Democratic primary voters in several districts pick candidates that are too far left to win in the general election.

clare.malone: I like that you’ve picked this since it’s an anti-Democratic wave angle, and it deals with the problems of “progressive Dems vs. establishment Dems” that could harm them in a move from the primary to the general.

nrakich: Who do you think their best candidate is?

perry: State Sen. Jennifer Wexton, from Loudoun County, seems like a most ideal candidate for the general election. Gov. Ralph Northam endorsed her, I assume in part because some of the other Democrats in that race are raising a lot of money.

nrakich: FWIW, the Wexton campaign just released a poll giving her a 26-point lead in the Democratic primary.

perry: Interesting. I had not seen this poll.

micah: Well, it’s from the Wexton campaign, though.

nrakich: I mean, it’s a campaign internal, so take it with a grain of salt.

clare.malone: jinx

nrakich: Although that’s a big lead.

Nate (Silver) found several years ago that internal campaign polls overstate a candidate’s position by about 6 points.

micah: This is interesting. Democrats chose the ideologically “safer” bet in the Illinois 3rd primary on Tuesday. So maybe they’ll limit self-destructive impulses.

perry: I’m not totally convinced that voters in a general election care about or can tell who is a moderate versus a liberal Democrat (or a moderate versus conservative Republican), but I tend to think that people who have run before are better candidates generally, like a state senator has done some of the basics of campaigning and has won a general election before.

micah: Totally.

perry: Broadly, I think if a Comstock-type candidate can survive, that tells me that maybe a few other smart GOP incumbents will and that maybe Democrats will fall four to five seats short of winning control of the House.

nrakich: I agree that knowing that Comstock will win would be valuable information today. But if the info we gain is that the Democrat beats her, I’m not sure how much it tells us about whether Democrats are going to flip the House.

Going by FiveThirtyEight partisan lean, Virginia 10 is the 179th-bluest seat in the country. So Democrats could win it and still fall short in other areas.

micah: Well, but maybe Comstock winning is one of the few routes the GOP has to keeping the majority. So it’s sorta like — incumbents overperform or bust.

nrakich: I think her winning would be a very good sign for them. But I think there are lots of ways that Republicans could keep the majority even while losing Comstock’s seat.

micah: OK, to wrap up, here’s everyone’s chosen district by partisan lean:

And let me throw some reader suggestions at you all and tell me if any stand out.

IA1, ME2, NY19 or MI8

— Seth D. Michaels

(@sethdmichaels) March 21, 2018

MN-08, PA-01, FL-26, NV-03.

— Arjun Jaikumar (@ArjunJaikumar) March 21, 2018

TX-7 as long as Lizzie Pannill Fletcher wins the runoff

— Joel Gluskin (@jagluski) March 21, 2018

I would pick my district, CA-25. It’s been Republican for many years, but went for Clinton in 2016. The district is shifting from white/rural to suburban with more diversity.

— Lindsey Giersch (@Geek_MomLG) March 21, 2018

Mentioned in the other thread, but I’m currently most interested in NY-19.

— } (@dtmasterson) March 21, 2018

OH 12 weighted R but retirement means may open but only to true wave.

— Chris Tremains (@ctremains) March 21, 2018

nrakich: The Ohio 12th! Bold.

What about your pick, Micah??

micah: I’m not picking!

clare.malone: Texas 7 is interesting. Trump lost by small margin, suburbs. It’s kinda the same thing as my California 45 pick. Will educated conservatives swing?

perry: So some suburbs (the Florida one is Miami area, for example) but some interesting ones. I don’t know districts by number, Minnesota 8 is not a suburban one really and is very white.

clare.malone: I think they just picked Ohio 12 because it’s open? That one will probably go Republican.

nrakich: Open seats aren’t useful info to know, though. The vast majority of seats up in 2018 will have incumbents.

Democrats will have to beat Republican incumbents to win the House. We already know they do well in open seats thanks to special elections.

micah: Perry, I can’t believe you don’t have all the districts memorized.

perry: People do!

Don’t you, Nathaniel?

nrakich: Haha, I wish.

Only the important ones.

I couldn’t tell you who reps New York’s 5th.

micah: It’s Gregory Meeks. (And no, readers, I didn’t add this while editing the chat.)

OK, final thoughts?

perry: Kentucky 6 was one of my wild cards. Lexington area.

nrakich: If we could know the margin of the seat we picked, we would know a lot more … obviously.

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #A FiveThirtyEight Chat

1 note · View note

wsmith215 · 4 years

Text

‘NBA Jam’ tips from someone who played it for the first time in 20 years

NBA Jam is one of my favorite video games of all time. My copy on the Super Nintendo exists in a box, in my mom’s attic, far from reach, and out of use for a long, long time. I thought my passion for the game was destined to live in nostalgia, but now things have changed.

My friend owns an arcade, and his acquisition of an original four-player NBA Jam cab has pretty much been the only exciting thing to come out of quarantine. I recently took to the sticks for the first time in 20 years and realized that as much nostalgia I have for the game, there’s also so, so much bullshit.

No. 1: Anyone who mains the Bulls is a cheater.

Michael Jordan wasn’t in NBA Jam, as you probably know. A late breakdown in licensing led to MJ being pulled from the game late. Instead the default Bulls duo in OG Jam is Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant — and they’re both horrible, pixelated cheaters.

Make no mistake, Scottie was never bad from three — shooting .326 for his career, but in NBA Jam he’s an unstoppable monster. His 4/6 three point rating is better than Reggie Miller (3/6), and his 5/6 speed rating is faster than Kevin Johnson (3/6).

I believe Pippen was made to be incredible because of Jordan’s absence. I’ll listen to arguments about him being the second-best player in the NBA during the Bulls’ prime, but nobody can convince me he was an all-around unstoppable monster. If you main the Bulls you’re getting the best player in the game at every key category, and Pippen’s overall rating of 20/24 is the highest in the game. In case you’re curious the second best is Mitch Richmond for some unknown reason, and he’s dragged down by the decidedly garbage Wayman Tisdale.

No. 2: Don’t get duped into being Player 1 or Player 4 in a four player game.

This one is huge, and if people challenge you two-on-two with a friend and suggest you take an outside stick they’re scared of you, and you’re being hustled.

The NBA Jam cab is large enough to comfortably accommodate four children, but a cramped mess for adults. Our natural proclivity is to go to the outside, assuming more elbow room is best — but this is a mistake.

Because of where you need to stand it’s impossible to have your body oriented straight with the stick. This means your body is on an angle, which in turn fights your muscle memory. Every move you make on the outside sticks in a four player game is off a diagonal. This means you’re going to have two solid quarters of struggling your natural movement to even get used to the positioning. Now, there are cabinets designed with this in mind and have pivoted the joystick gates to make it easier for the outside players, but these are few and far between.

No. 3: ABS (Always Be Shoving)

Yes, there are NBA Jam wizards who know how to block — but blocking in general is way, way too random. Pushing people over and getting the ball before they ever shoot is not only more efficient in the game, but also more effective.

When someone goes for a shot our natural inclination is to jump and block, but as long as you make contact in the first third of their jump a push will dislodge the ball much faster. Anticipate which direction your opponent likes to go on the inbound. Most will go diagonally down, or diagonally up — meet them, shove them down, and score 30 points in a quarter with John Stockton like a certain person writing this article did on Thursday night (hi Kris).

No. 4: Don’t fall for nostalgia.

The weird thing about NBA Jam player stats is that basically nothing makes sense. The aforementioned Mitch Richmond has a 6/6 dunk rating. That’s better than Dee Brown, and he won the dunk contest.

You’d think Hakeem Olajuwon would be one of the best players in the game, but he’s trash. His 15/24 rating is on par with John Starks, and he’s nowhere near as useful. Olajuwon is 0/6 from three, 3/6 for speed — and makes up his entire overall rating on dunks and defense. This might make sense, but we’ve established that blocks suck. Smaller guards have similar high defensive stats, but with the ability to drain threes and zoom around the court too.

Always look for good threes and speed.

No. 5: If you’re playing with a friend, pick the Jazz and laugh at your opponents.

The Utah Jazz are the quintessentially perfect NBA Jam team not because Karl Malone is broken like that cheater Scottie Pippen, but because of how well the two players compliment each other.

Utah Jazz

Stat

Karl Malone

John Stockton

Stat

Karl Malone

John Stockton

Speed

3/6

5/6

Three Pointers

1/6

5/6

Dunks

6/6

0/6

Defense

4/6

Final

There’s a symmetry to the Jazz that’s perfection. Both players are solid on defense, and outside of that they excel in the areas the other lacks. This makes for the perfect team. Nobody is stuck with a true dud, and like the real-life 90s Jazz you can run this 1-2 all the way to the finals where you’ll get run over by those cheating-ass Bulls.

No. 6: Understand the game is a cheater too.

Let’s just say there are a few … shortcuts in NBA Jam if you want to go the route of being a horrible person. The most notable is the hot spots on the court where you’ll basically always hit a three so long as your release isn’t garbage.

These are the sweet spots for OG NBA Jam.

So long as you hit this spot and don’t have someone DIRECTLY in your face you’re going to hit 90 percent or better from three. Especially with someone like Scottie Pippen, whose video game form is the equivalent of gambling with house money.

I can only assume these hot spots on the court were designed to give developers a leg-up over competition when they jumped on the sticks to school someone. It’s an unfair mechanic, but you should absolutely leverage it — because you’ll need that help when someone else picks the Bulls.

Source link

The post ‘NBA Jam’ tips from someone who played it for the first time in 20 years appeared first on The Bleak Report.

from WordPress https://bleakreport.com/nba-jam-tips-from-someone-who-played-it-for-the-first-time-in-20-years/

#Sports Report

0 notes

junker-town · 4 years

Text

‘NBA Jam’ tips from someone who played it for the first time in 20 years

via Well Played Games

Become a pro — or at least, a little better.

No. 1: Anyone who mains the Bulls is a cheater.

No. 2: Don’t get duped into being Player 1 or Player 4 in a four player game.

This one is huge, and if people challenge you two-on-two with a friend and suggest you take an outside stick they’re scared of you, and you’re being hustled.

No. 3: ABS (Always Be Shoving)

No. 4: Don’t fall for nostalgia.

The weird thing about NBA Jam player stats is that basically nothing makes sense. The aforementioned Mitch Richmond has a 6/6 dunk rating. That’s better than Dee Brown, and he won the dunk contest.

Always look for good threes and speed.

No. 5: If you’re playing with a friend, pick the Jazz and laugh at your opponents.

The Utah Jazz are the quintessentially perfect NBA Jam team not because Karl Malone is broken like that cheater Scottie Pippen, but because of how well the two players compliment each other.

No. 6: Understand the game is a cheater too.

Let’s just say there are a few ... shortcuts in NBA Jam if you want to go the route of being a horrible person. The most notable is the hot spots on the court where you’ll basically always hit a three so long as your release isn’t garbage.

These are the sweet spots for OG NBA Jam.

0 notes

kendrixtermina · 7 years

Note

It's not your "4 fix" that makes people think you're a infp. It's your obvious inferior Te. People like midlink have told you a thousand times: high Ti users break down their thought process instead of sending a long walk of text with difficult and over researched words. A intp wouldn't need a "long list with points and examples with less vague definitions" because that's Te, a Ti Dom is not as sure about their type as you're so stubborn with yours. You don't explain yourself like a intp.

Ah you’re one of their cronies. as I suspected.

One group of raid-loving associates is hardly “people”. Calm your Fe tits and get perspective. .

I shall not be wasting further time on this nor repeating the same arguments I made weeks ago, other than the tl; dr is that you’re shoehorning my words into your conceptions of the definitions with a generous helping of word-twisting and presumption.

An amusing example for casual readers:

Me: “Be precise and specific. Give me reason to give your random claim attention and consideration.” ( that is, Don’t use a vague that could be applied to anything)

They: You asked for said you needed “less vague” definitions [as in easier to understand] hence inf Te.

It’s like those ppl who argue their fav character is an INFJ and blame all the obvious, copious and constant displays of sensing on “inferior Se”. never mind that an inferior function would generally be used mostly when triggered rather than being the person’s default aproach.

I mean take a step back and look at this. Do they realize that they’ve just basically claiming that using, referencing or researching technical jargon is something an INTP would never do? I don’t think they meant to do that because it’s opposite of like what any source ever tell you about INTPs when you first ask what they are. Stereotypes don’t apply to everyone but the love of nerd jargon and researching new topics seems to be widespread.

Rather this is insofar as I can tell a honest mistake due to using bad definitions.

Good example for these “One trick pony, simplistic” conception of the functions a la “Si is memory” or “Ni is planning” that creates so much confusion, in their case “all referencing is Te”. In truth one behavior can be done by various processes in various ways.

Since neither of us invented mbti and we wish to talk about mbti and not some thing we’ve made up from scratch on our own, we would have to read up on sources in order to talk about this mbti thing and use jargon in order to discuss the topic with precision and familiarize ourselves with the concept.

Since no human can invent the wealth of modern science themselves we ALL have to reference at some point. That’s no more a particular function than memory rather function influences how we reference. I daresay a lot of referenciing is also Ne but that would be a more associative sort.

With the T functions its more about connections - the difference is more that Te takes the data as it is as basic “building blocks” which it then build into methods, procedures and applications, whereas Ti tries to understand what the source “means” that is recreate a model of the concept and its logical interconnections in their head. They won’’t just go and use the fact right away until they have analyzed it for themselves, but they may well think “this is an useful concept!” and adopt it, making additions or changes for themselves or synthezising their own understanding from multiple sources depending on what convinces them whereas the Te user adopts an alghorithm/procedure based on how well it gets results.

Accepting info after checking it isn’t the same as just “swallowing” it. There’s a difference between citing a source as an appeal to authority or doing it so the other person knows which imput you used, which parts of the thinking are yours and to go and form their own conclusions. Obviously I would not reference concepts that did not convince me but the decision wether to be convinced or not is made via how the concept mashes with previous understanding and wether it makes logical sense not because I have seen its results and widely found useful by ppl in general (Te) - indeed a lot of this advanced in depht socianics stuff isn’t known or used by many people but I use it because I have found it makes sense and makes good distinctions.barring future changes of opinion of course.

Indeed knowledge only through results but not and unless there’s very good proof I tend to disbelieve or be sceptical of claims of casual relation if there is no mechanistical explanation of HOW thing A can possibly affect thing B. For better or for worse. Sometimes it turns out the local INTJ was right and a problem really ~was~ the laundry detergent’s fault even if I did not know how. .

But in either case the person will talk of square roots when they encounter a square root or a problem that square roots are relevant and refer to the word “square root”. Not everyone who ever did this is a FP or TJ. The difference is more in the focus understanding: TE: “You get a square root by multiplying a number with itself.” Ti: “A square root is a number’s multiple of itself.” - hence why socionics calls it procedural logic or alghorithms (”This is how you do it.” where the answer is a method) vs. structural logic or laws. (”What is it?” where the answer is a cathegory in the TPs’ sorting system)

Te is not just repeating phrases. TJs and FPs do not just repeat stuff - they know, to varying degrees, when and how to use what depending on what they encounter and criticize/ find fault in such methods. (Indeed in my experience the types who do the most “unsynthesized repeating of statements” are usually Ti inferiors who often compensate with a very Fe ish, “A said X statement but B said Y so I am asking a third person consensus decision process and they seem to have a hard time extracting extra information from a statement by deduction.)

What Jung meant by “objective” or “Subjective” in his original definition of the functions - which I’ve studied - is not the colloquial sense of the words (that extroverted functions only copy and that introverted ones make every) but wether “the attention begins with the subject” or “the object.”

That means ddoes the thought start with the person, or with what they are seeing?

Te, Ne, Fe, and Se will pay attention to the stimulus because it’s there wether it’s reacting to a feeling, awknowledging a fact, reacting to a sensation, noticing an association etc. with Fi, Ti, Si and Ni the process begins from the inside - how does the stimulus relate to the subject and their own feelings/beliefs/archetypes/past sensations? Hence why Te pays attention to things that are ‘relevant’ whereas Ti follows what the person is interested in & may not show much interest in what is deemed “relevant” by broad society hence the math geek who knows nothing about movie stars etc.

And once you understand that it is way more probable that I have Ti insofar as I can discern I match those patterns very well.

IDK who OP is surely can’t type them from just this paragraph but I recall that a lot of ppl of the group from the 2 weeks back poster were ENTPs so for a moment I’ll work off the asumption that you are one it would make a lot of sense if you were even if its not the only option.

This is where the fine distinctions of socionics concepts are useful particularly in how they describe the difference between different function slots such as auxillary and as well as Victor Gulenko’s “Cognitive styles” (I am almost certainly holographic-panoramic so assuming that I was indeed mistaken and was a Fi user all along, I’d be an ENFP if anything.

It may come down to a difference between ENTP and INTP.

But to make iot short and cut to the basics the idea - which at least to me seemed consistent with all my observations - is that the auxxilary or “creative” function is used to “create” new thoughts at the behest of the base/program/dominant function when the dom function switches it on. in any case the dominant function is what makes the primary decisions that is basic in any variant of jungian typology.

Hence why an ENTP can defend a wolly foreign belief system on the fly in a debate, change opinion over night and reinterpret all past data to that end etc. but that is specific of auxillary Ti not all Ti. In an ENTP your auxillary spits out ever new all new such logically consistent frameworks at the whim of your dominant Ne.

So Ne doms change their opinions very fast and are often constantly wondering if they’re mistyped - even when they know that this is common for Ne doms they still could be wrong and as Ne doms they primarily see the world as “coulds”. Since they have little Si they are not likely to give past experiences much weight and take longer to “retain” tendencies anyways so their opinions are not particularly inert especially if their gut fix is not nine.

I mean think of it: Ti is an introverted function. It uses an internal framework to make decisions which it constantly mantains. New problems are either quickly decided based on past categories or require a slow introverted process of reorganization. In an INTP, Ti is in charge and flips Ne on when needed. Dom Ti fits everything into one big central framework which is the main organising principle of the person’s mind.

When new data or queries are encountered the ENTP would first go to Ne and look at the possibility, examine it in its own right, and then later create or look for a logical framework that fits it. The INTP would go to Ti first, that is, try to fit it into that big preexisting net work. And only if it does not fit will it be reorganized, “Oh, I was wrong, so what else could it be? * activates Ne”

First time someone presents you with a possibility you will examine it but you won’t reexamine something from the ground up if you already “know” the terrain and have a strong detailed framework that explains why the person may think that even though you don’t think it’s true. You’re still open to changing your mind but a threshold of unaccounted data must be crossed before reevaluation will happen. That is how dominant introverts work. It’s not stubborness its not reinventing the wheel twice.

Its not uncommon for INTPs in particular to “miss” data that does not fit their framework at times and need some time to change entrenched beliefs. And again that’s not just me saying it that’s very common info with a simple cause: the way in which dominant Ti tries to fit everything in a preexisting framework first and then maybe changes. Really not making any wild controversial claims here. Also we have more Si than ENTPs making the ideas more inert for better or for worse.

To summarize:

Dominant Ti doesn’t change at the drop of a hat like aux Ti especially in conjunction with tert si

Citing sources is basic rhetoric not Te the difference is in HOW the sources are used

The difference is in focus on the object vs begin of thinking inside the subject

in the end there’s only so much sense in discussing my thinking with a stranger who isn’t a telepath. I know my head but how would i prove that to you?

(See the common apologist spiel about”All nonbelievers secretly believe.” Me: *feels no belief* actually no. - but how to I prove to someone what is or isn’t in my head, especially if their worldview doesn’t even allow for the possibility? Same with being in denial. How do you prove youre not in denial? especially when both no denial and denial can produce the answer “No im not?”. )

Person A: You talk only about yourself!

Person B: No I do not`?

Person A: You’re doing it again! ... but you can’t answer a quetion anout yourself without mentioning yourself. Its the other person who mentioned you in the first place. So IDK if anything will even come of this except another hour of my life going out the window.

1 note · View note

sugawaras · 7 years

Text

for you, the world

read on ao3 here if you prefer! // word count: 1k

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: Haikyuu!! Relationship: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Summary: In the last days of Hinata's third year in high school, he says farewell to Karasuno and memories made.

Hinata wasn't ready for it all to end. He never thought he'd say it like that, but, well, it was the truth. And Hinata wasn't much of a liar.

First year, second year, third year—it all went by in a blur, tournaments and people and memories passing in a flash. The dawn of a new morning turned into whirling sunsets and the sunsets turned into dark, cool nights in the blink of an eye. One moment, he was picking a fight with Kageyama over meat buns, and the next, he was standing behind his last high school volleyball game.

In Hinata's third year, Karasuno made it to the Spring High tournament finals, against all odds; they had lost an amazing libero and a power ace and a great captain in the past year. Of course, Hinata being Hinata, he didn't settle for just making it there.

He came to win, with Kageyama and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi and the first and second-years who had joined the fray, and somehow, they did.

It was long and suffering and the whole match lasted five sets, with neither side giving in. The score was 20-19, Karasuno pulling in the lead with one point. The very last second of the very last play was the quick attack. Hinata knew it was coming, he knew it in the back of his mind through the entire game—if they were going to win, and they were going to win, it would be like this. The look in Kageyama's eyes said it all: As long as I'm here.

We're invincible, Hinata finished.

This time, the other team was ready. They had three blockers up and their libero positioned right in the back, but Hinata saw past it. The weak spot, the chink in the armor, where the blocker's hand was tilted ever-so-slightly.

His hand made contact with the ball, a solid sting on his palm, and it blasted past the net. Their rivals dived for it, the sound of knees and limbs hitting the gymnasium floor and the squeaks of court shoes filling the air. They went for it, but the ball slammed against the ground with all the force of Hinata's effort and Kageyama's perfection and Karasuno's spirit, spirit that never died.

It was silent, the white noise filled with leftover suspense, until the crowd erupted with cheers. The Karasuno alumni sat in the front row; Suga stood up and was yelling louder than what must have been humanly possible, as Tanaka swung his shirt around him ("Those are my kouhai!" he bellowed proudly).

“And Hinata Shouyou scores the winning point for Karasuno High! They have officially won the Spring High Nationals! The Little Giant is back!” an announcer yelled.

Hinata's mind spun, and his entire body hurt, but none of it mattered. Someone lifted him up in the air—he wasn't sure who, though it smelled vaguely like Kageyama—as the rest of Karasuno crowded around him. There was screaming and crying and sweaty bodies colliding with each other, as tears welled up in Hinata's eyes.

We won. We actually won nationals, we won.

So, yes, after what was possibly the best day in Hinata's life, he wasn't ready for it to end.

The sunset glowed faintly around him as he pulled his bike next to him. There were only a few days left in the school year until the third-years' graduation ceremony, and it was only a matter of time before he would leave the Karasuno volleyball club for good.

"Oi," a voice called out behind him. Hinata turned his head to see a familiar face.

"Hey," he grinned back. "You going to the bus station?"

Kageyama nodded. "Are you biking home?"

"Yeah, but I'll walk you to the station," Hinata smiled softly.

"You don't have to," Kageyama muttered, but it wasn't a no.

They walked in silence for a few steps, before Hinata spoke. "Kageyama, you know when we won our game the other day?"

"Duh," Kageyama said. "What about it?"

"Well, don't think I'm stupid for asking this-"

“-Too late for that."

"-Shut up! Anyway, when we won the last point, it was with our quick attack, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I was just wondering, like...why did you give the ball to me?" Hinata blurted out.

Kageyama gave him a distinct look: Are you kidding me right now?

"I was just wondering!" Hinata said quickly, before Kageyama could respond. "I mean, you could have done a dump, or did a back attack, or anything else!"

"You don't make any sense," Kageyama shook his head, almost scowling, but not quite. Hinata knew that to be his default expression. "I can't give you, like, a detailed explanation on it. I tossed to you because I thought it was the best way to score a point then.”

"Oh. Ok. Wait, no, not ok, can't you be more specific?!"

“What else do you want me to say?” Kageyama snapped, but there wasn’t any bite in his words. His expression softened, just a little bit. “And, you know, it’s obvious.”

“It was our last game...” he paused, before mumbling something afterwards that Hinata couldn’t quite make out.

“Sorry, what?”

He mumbled again. This time, it sounded vaguely like he was saying tug-a-war .

“I can’t hear you, can you-”

“Together!” Kageyama finally yelled, so loudly that a startled crow flew away from its telephone wire perch nearby. “I-It was our last game together, dumbass. I thought—I don’t know, it just made sense for it to be you.”

“It was always you.”

Hinata stared at Kageyama for a few seconds, his mouth wide open.

"What—d-did you really just say that? That's so—nice, and...and sentimental, and totally not you!" Hinata gave him a suspicious look. "Where's the real Kageyama and what have you done with him?"

"You little—" Kageyama reached for Hinata's head, but he dodged swiftly; it came with years of Kageyama-handling experience.

"We're dating now, you could at least go a little easy on me!" Hinata complained, laughing.

"That's stupid," Kageyama scoffed, his cheeks turning pink. "That's the same as going easy on another team just because you're friends with their players."

"Eh, not really," Hinata said. "But whatever floats your boat."

He sighed, edging a little closer to Kageyama. "Still, it's gonna be weird not going to the clubroom everyday next year."

"Yeah," Kageyama nodded. "It'll be different."

"And we don't get to play with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, or Yachi and everyone else," Hinata said pensively. "I guess I just don't want it to end." He glanced at Kageyama, who was silent. His brows were drawn together in contemplation.

"No one does," Kageyama shrugged. His eyes were a little darker than usual. "But at least you're still playing volleyball."

"Of course!" Hinata said immediately. "Like, that's a no-brainer." He hesitated. "Except we don't get to play it with them anymore."

"That's not true," Kageyama frowned. "Both of them are still playing in college. And we're going to make it to the national team, right?" He said it like a statement, not a question.

"Hell yeah," Hinata grinned. "You'll toss to me, and I'll hit all of 'em." The corners of Kageyama's lips turned up slightly.

___________________

The two of them walked further before reaching the sign of the bus station. They stood there, waiting, until what looked like bus headlights flashed in the distance. The sky was darker now, the sun slowly fading into the black of the night.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Hinata stood on his tip-toes and gave Kageyama a quick kiss on the lips. It tasted vaguely like the meat buns they had eaten after practice.

"Wait," Kageyama grabbed the end of Hinata's sleeve. "Do you remember what you said in our first year?"

"Um, Kageyama, I said a lot of stuff in our first year."

"Before the first Inter-High," Kageyama elaborated. "You said you were going to play on the same stage as me, even if it was the world?"

"Oh, yeah, that," Hinata tilted his head to the side. "I remember now."

"So...you still promise that? You'll make it to the world?"

A smile slowly spread on Hinata's face, stretching to the corners of his cheeks.

"Yeah, I promise," he finally answered, as Kageyama's bus slowed down in front of them.

"We'll make it. To the world."

#haikyuu!!#kagehina #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #hq #hq fic #haikyuu fic #kagehina fic #third year kagehina #hinata x kageyama #mine #my works #works #haikyuu works #my writing #karasuno

11 notes · View notes

m39 · 3 years

Text

Doom WADs’ Roulette: Revenant Awards 1999

AMERICAN DEMON – REVENANT AWARDS 1999 EDITION

At last. We reached the end of the 90s’. You might think that such a monumental year would offer great competition between many WADs of many sizes. Unfortunately, while 1999 has only three categories with more than one WAD, almost every case has one WAD per Vanilla type and Limit-free type of WAD. Of three WADs that have a size of one map, two of these require limit-removing source ports, making it the only time there is an actual competition.

Luckily, with the other two categories, I will tell you which WAD gave me more fun to play. Just to have some competition between those.

Now, let’s take a look at our first category.

SOLE SURVIVOR – BEST ONE-MAP WAD OF THE YEAR

Let’s start with the only vanilla WAD who won by default, and was a big surprise of that year for me – Chord G. After its predecessor, Chord NG, left me with the sour taste in my mouth, I thought I would get something much worse than what I ultimately played. Chord G is a fast, fun-to-play WAD that has no hitscanners (which is a rare thing in maps, let alone WADs) and I fully recommend it.

As I mentioned earlier, we have two cases of one map-sized WADs that require a source port – Jägermörder (Boom) and KZDoom1 (ZDoom of course). And while KZDoom1 looks very good, it ultimately feels more like a tech demo for ZDoom features rather than an actually fun WAD, not to mention hitscanners (plus Imps) turned into bullet sponges; unlike Jägermörder which aims to be what WAD is supposed to be (as in demon-killing massacre with easy to understand key/switch hunting), with some of the Boom features added as a bonus. So, no surprise here, Jägermörder ends up getting the award.

FULL DECK OF DIAMONDS – BEST 30-32 MAPS MEGAWAD OF THE YEAR

To the few people who read my last review, it won’t be a surprise that Demonfear gave me much more fun than the other WAD on its list. Let me remind you again that no matter how good your WAD looks, if you sacrifice the fun of the core loop of Doom for the moon logic switch hunting, don’t do surprised Pikachu face when your work ends up with mixed (at best) reception. And, I’ll be honest with you, the only reason Herian 2 gets the award is that it won by default. Any other WAD that requires a limit-removing source port and it would end up decimated. And also because I have to act professionally. Not giving the award to Herian 2 would make me look like a pitiful wanker.

OFF THE WALL – BEST PARTIAL/TOTAL CONVERSION OF THE YEAR

Spoiler: Once again the Vanilla WAD turned out to be more enjoyable to play than the Limit-free one. Twilight Warrior isn’t bad at all, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that due to its setting it hard-locks its enemies to almost all of them being hitscanners. And since I am absolutely sick of hitscanners, there is no surprise that I find Batman Doom much more enjoyable. I mean, seriously, it’s freaking FPS Batman mod. For free. By the creators of Rock of Ages. What more do you need to hear?

OTHER AWARDS

And as always, we are wrapping things up with WADs that earned the award by default.

Starting with the Pug-of-Pink award for the best two to seven maps long WAD going to Assault on Tei Tenga, yet another case of a WAD being more of a tech demo than a typical WAD with the additional dragging on with its cutscene dialogue but I’m not gonna lie that the hub system kind of blew me away among other pros this WAD has.

The Golden Spider for the best Episode-sized WAD goes to Crusades: An Unholy War, a pretty WAD that unfortunately feels like a chore to play because of too many Barons. And not being good as Dickie 10 in my opinion.

And The Platinum Revenant for the best ten to nineteen maps long WAD/MegaWAD goes to The Darkening Episode 1: The Nameless Project. It may suffer from Quake syndrome, but there is nothing severely wrong with this WAD. It is a very good and very fun WAD to play.

CONCLUSION

And that’s it folks. The last winners. The last year of the best WADs that the 1990s’ can offer.

applause

Some of you might think that after this ceremony I would take a break for a week as always after dealing with the yearly roster of WADs and move on to the 2000s’.

WRONG!

I’m not done with the WADs from the’90s. Oh no. I have been cooking up something in my mind for a while now. And I’ll start working on it after February 20th (‘cause personal stuff).

Maybe I’ll finally pull myself together in the meantime and finally play Deltarune: Chapter 2. I finally need to deeply find out what’s the deal with this Soulless Mettaton puppet seller.

Thank you all for reading this.

See you next time.

Bye!

#doom #Doom WAD #award ceremony #doom mod #Doom 2 #ultimate doom #doom 1999 #1999 #doom Jägermörder #doom crusades #doom Demonfear #doom The Darkening #doom Assault on Tei Tenga #batman doom #Doom WADs’ Roulette #Revenant Awards

0 notes

therachelperspective · 8 years

Photo

BOOK ⎟ Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's ‘Learned’ by Lena Dunham

For many people, a simple mention of the name Lena Dunham is enough to strike up an insane amount of disdain and loathing. And if you’re one of those people, you have either stopped reading at this point or scrolled past this post entirely. You’re mind is incredibly made up about her already. I understand.

But for those of you willing to read further – thank you. And let’s chat.

I often question what drew me to read Lena Dunham’s book, considering I did not follow her or her work in the media, save for the passing glance in entertainment news. I wasn’t a fan in the least. So why did I ask for and receive her book as a Christmas gift? After much thought (and years later, might I add), I think I’ve narrowed it down to these two things:

1] When it was released, it fell into the category of my innate curiosity and wanting to read about other people’s lives. Meaning, in short, I’ve been obsessed with memoirs and biographies for the last couple of years. She was (and at times, still is) being hailed as an important feminist and a “voice of the people.” Consider my curiosity piqued.

But also, 2] I strongly believe in forming my own opinions. I’m one of those seemingly-naive people that refuse to believe the worst things about others without having experienced it for myself. Lena Dunham’s status included.

I may not have kept tabs on her, but that doesn’t mean I was entirely disinterested.

Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s “Learned” was published in September 2014. It was named one of the best books of the year by multiple media outlets, and the book placed #2 on the New York Times Best Sellers list. Praise, advanced or otherwise, used the words “hilarious,” “wise,” “candid,” and “witty,” though my favorite comment from NPR said that “We leave more empowered than we came.” Based on these, my expectations and anticipations were pretty high going into this book; however, I was also very cautious due to the number of negative reviews in the years since.

A recollection of stories from Lena’s life, spanning a slew of topics, NTKOG covers it all. Without even luring us in with any tales of her background, childhood, or family life, we jump right into the book with a section about “Sex.” Immediately I was fascinated. Not about the sex reports (which good lord there are so many in this entire book), but rather the choice of putting sexual encounters as the very first topic of a memoir. It’s obvious that Lena Dunham is no ordinary gal, and her candidness is clearly abundant in NTKOG. Followed by “Body,” “Friendship,” “Work,” and “Big Picture,” this non-chronological narrative covers just about everything a 20-something can discuss. And some things you wish she hadn’t.

Very specifically, there are a handful of distinct scenarios in which Lena may have overstepped her bounds; you’ll find hoards of articles online discussing them and how they make Lena Dunham a seemingly horrible person. It is more likely they are scenarios that certain people blew entirely out of proportion with their own commentary. Simple Google searches for “Lena Dunham,” especially connected to NTKOG, will result in *MAJOR BOOK SPOILERS* articles discussing a rape accusation people believe Lena falsified, fierce allegations that she molested her sister when they were both children, criminalizing of a phrase she used to describe trying to win her sister’s affections (also at a young age), and the appalling way she also outed her sister to their parents. Of the incriminating things the populace condemns Lena Dunham for, I will say that I only truly agree with that last one.

What you learn about Lena Dunham in her book is that she is not a perfect human being, as well as the fact that she grew up in a very unique way. The Dunham household was a very open, non-conformist sort of place one would have with artistic parents that I don’t think many criticizers of her book completely understand. Lena’s childhood was a very curious and experimental one, in ways many others are not. But it seems those against her don’t accept “a child’s curiosity” as an explanation, nor do they take a phrase like “using tactics a sex offender would use” with a grain of salt [describing how she tried to get her sister to like her when they were children]. Not the best phrase for the subject matter, I agree, but are you going to deny the parallels? Also, the backlash regarding Lena’s college rape story is exactly the reason more people don’t speak out about such traumas. Because someone, somewhere will try to disprove it and thus say you are a liar, calling into question the matter of consent and turn it into a battle of “your word vs. theirs.” Rather than applaud her willingness to be so outspoken about incidents in her life, both in childhood and adulthood, Lena is instead incriminated for them. Even more so when quotes are taken out of context.

Although the sociological issues within it bring up very important discussions, this is about Lena Dunham’s book. And despite what you think of her and the aforementioned topics above, Not That Kind of Girl gives insight into a very distinctive individual. When we see her today, we see a young woman importantly challenging the typical imagery of “Hollywood” both in life and in art (i.e. her body positivity while being larger than a size 2 and her comfort in nudity, plus her incredibly flawed character on Girls), while also being open about her own mental illnesses (anxiety and OCD). From reading her novel, we discover that she has been this sort of “different” her entire life so far. Her views of life have deviated from the norm since childhood, a divergence that surprisingly enough this reviewer can relate to. People say that she is not old enough to write a memoir; they say that she is narcissistic, entirely too self-involved, and self-indulgent. While I do think that the book is a hot mess and I question how much of it is truly real, the discussion about her life and her views is actually what makes it interesting. Anyone ripping NTKOG entirely to shreds for having no wisdom or insight were taking this book too much at face value. What memoir-writing celebrity is not self-involved? Once again, Lena Dunham is one of the few being condemned for it.

I’m not saying that I give this book 5 stars, because I don’t, nor am I entirely sure if I would recommend it. I'm not even going to agree that Lena Dunham is the “voice of the people” or the “voice of a generation.” But her book, and her perspective, is not entirely faulted. Maybe it’s just my ability to find insightful passages in literally every book I read. Or maybe, she really does just have her moments.

The reality is that, even if Lena is just a voice for herself and herself alone, her sentiments towards things like...

Losing her virginity – “No floodgate had been opened. No vault of true womanhood unlooked. She remained and she was me.”

Her own attractiveness – “Not ugly enough to be repulsive and not beautiful enough to seal the deal.”

Gaining weight as a child – “All of it was alien and alienating.”

Womanhood – “I consider being female such a unique gift, such a sacred joy[.]”

Being an Adult – “Soon you will find yourself in more and more situations you don’t want to run away from.”

... and other matters discussed in Not That Kind of Girl, well... they are not entirely out in left field.

Despite the fact that her voice (and by default, her book) can be dripping with white feminism and privilege, equally so that a lot of her troubles spawn from her own creation, my notes for this book prove – at least to me – there is a smidgen of quality to her writing. Whether opposers like it or not, there are people out there that will still relate to her book, enjoy her book, and find value in her essays, no matter the flaws others may see in her.

I ventured into Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl in order to devise my own opinions about a person so disliked by the masses. The truth is that I finish it almost as indifferent as when I started. I don’t love her, but nor do I hate her. I would say I simply understand her better, supported in part by identifying with the “weirdness” she encompasses. I personally know what it’s like to be different, and I think that is what contributed to my ability to, as some might say, even finish the book in the first place.

Lena Dunham is the creator, executive producer, writer, director, and star of the critically-acclaimed HBO series Girls. She has been nominated for eight Emmy awards and has won two Golden Globes (including Best Actress) for her work on her show. She was the first woman to win the Directors Guild of America award for directorial achievement in comedy, and she has also written/directed two feature length films. Dunham is also a frequent contributor to The New Yorker. [from the book inside flap] Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham Random House | September 2014 | 265 pages MY RATING: ★ ★ ★ ✩ ✩ I still don’t know entirely how I feel about this book, to be completely honest. It was worth reading once, to strangely find comfort in the fact that there are weird famous people out there, who are pushing the status quo in more ways than one. But I completely understand where people can find this “too weird” and “unrelatable.” By Goodreads’ rating system, this book’s 3 stars means it was “good.” Which it was. To a certain point.

I don’t think she’s entirely strange and unusual because I too am strange and unusual (haha, sorry for that reference), but I also don’t say she’s the feminist idol people portray her to be either. I am intrigued enough by NTKOG to watch Girls in the future, to witness the critical-acclaim for myself. But Lena Dunham to me is just... Strange Little Lena. I feel like I want to like her because my gut tells me that I relate to her on quite a few levels, but I'm also just not sure that I do.

#book review #books #not that kind of girl by lena dunham #not that kind of girl #lena dunham #girls tv show #girls #HBO #hannah horvath #review #reviews

1 note · View note

blessed-but-distressed · 8 years

Text

A Lost Boy’s Guide to Hollywood (7/10)

Also on ff.net

art by @clockadile See more art by @clockadile here

Killian Jones, put-upon Private Investigator, is hired by one Mr Gold to find his missing client, Peter Pan, a Bieber-level teenage sensation. With the reluctant help of the mysterious Emma Swan, Killian must make his way through Peter’s miscreant friends and acquaintances, into the slimy underbelly of LA in search of the missing singer, all before his scheduled appearance at the Hollywood Bowl in four days time.

Rating: Mature Warnings: Drug Use. Implied Sexual Content. Violence. Swears. Mild alcoholism. Bad role models. Acts of a criminal nature.

This fic won a Captain Swan Fan Fic Award! 1st place in the Best Work in Progress (Under 50k) category! Thank you to everyone who voted for it! Also many thanks to @phiralovesloki for the polish, @lenfaz for the support and @clockadile, for making damn fine illustrations, as always. You should like this one.

also on ff.net

Chapter Seven: Unthought Known

In which everyone responds to stress a little differently.

"Time passed again. I don't know how long. I had no watch. They don't make that kind of time in watches anyway."

-Farewell, My Lovely

Killian knew the signs.

He knew them by the sound of his heart beating in his ears, and how his vision began to blur at the edges. By the way the ground rose up to meet him when he tried to stand up, the world shifting on its axis. By the sharp sting of broken glass slicing into his palm as he tried to steady himself.

Breathe, little brother.

What a novel concept. If only he'd thought of that earlier.

He slumped sideways, the side of the Firebird slick under his hand. Though rain or his own blood, he wasn't sure. He squeezed his eyes shut, but it did little to stop the flood of sensations. The cacophony of sirens was drawing closer. The police were on their way.

Don't forget to breathe. You're alright.

He didn't bloody well feel alright. He felt like someone was force choking the life out him, and enjoying every minute of it.

I've got you.

"I've got you."

But it wasn't a phantom's voice he heard that time. Nor was it a phantom hand who'd grasped his own in a tight grip, anchoring him to the present. He let his eyes flutter open. Not a phantom at all, but her. Emma. Crouched on the ground beside him, wet hair plastered to her forehead, crooning comforting platitudes even as he fought to get a handle on himself.

"Bloody hell," he managed to choke out.

"There he is," she said with a small smile, giving his hand an extra squeeze. "It's okay. You're safe. Just breathe."

"Only..." he struggled to form the words. "If we keep this... between us?"

"Oh, please," she said, rolling her eyes. "You've been doubled over in pain half the time I've known you. To me, it's just your default setting. You think I'll think any less of you because you have a bad reaction to being shot at?"

"Not good… for the image."

She snorted with amusement. "Shut up and breathe, Jones. You can worry about your macho reputation later."

It helped, the banter. It chased away the worst of it, back into the darkened hidey hole in the back of his mind where he preferred to keep it. He could feel the air returning to his lungs, the streetscape behind her steadying under his gaze.

"I'm breathing," he said with a relieved half-laugh.

"Good boy," she said, patting him on the arm with her free hand. "You keep that up."

"Why do I get the impression you're making fun, lass?"

"Only a little," she said with a grin in his direction, as she shifted her weight from one knee to the other. "And only because I like you."

"You like me?" His words sounded far too much like an over-eager child for his liking, though they made Emma laugh. It was a nice laugh, the kind he wouldn't mind hearing again.

"Don't take it personally, Jones. I like everyone who saves me from being gunned down in a drive-by."

"Big Christmas card list then?"

"It's a select club," she admitted with a smile. "But it's only February."

It wasn't long before the area was a tangle of police officers, paramedics, and dazed civilians shuffling around draped in shock blankets.

"You ever had a panic attack before?" The woman EMT asked, after she'd finished taking his pulse.

Seeking medical attention had not been his idea. It was Emma who'd offered him up like a lamb to slaughter when the woman had first approached them, still huddled by the remains of Killian's shot out car. He'd not even been able to get a word in edgewise.

"Not for a long time. Years."

"You take any medication for that?"

He shook his head. "I thought they'd stopped."

The woman eyed him doubtfully, but she didn't pursue it. "Your friend mentioned some pre-existing injuries." His gaze shot across to where Emma stood some twenty feet away, a uniformed police officer taking her statement. Bloody traitor. "Anything you want me to take a look at?"

"Nothing some rest and relaxation won't cure, lass," he said, hopping down from the back of the ambulance with a barely disguised hiss of pain. "I'm sure you have more important things to do."

"You sure now?"

"Quite," he said with a forced smile, before turning away.

He waited for Emma to finish giving her version of events to the young uniform before he seized his chance, grabbing her by arm and pulling her out of sight of the milling police.

"Did they buy it?"

"What? That I just had a sudden hankering for a frappucino and we found ourselves at the wrong place at the wrong time? Sure."

"You're certain? If Wendy mentions our little chat-" But before he could finish voicing his concerns, Emma had grabbed him by the elbow, and was already dragging him out from their hiding place.

"See that kid in the army surplus jacket?" Emma said, with a jerk of her chin to her left.

Killian saw the skinny youth she meant, sitting on the curb beside a plain clothes detective, head in his hands.

"Aye?"

"Mid-level dealer. Or so my new friend, Mr Fresh Out of The Academy tells me." She raised her eyebrows significantly.

"They think this was drug related?"

"That's the most logical angle, wouldn't you say?"

Killian considered her carefully. "And what would you say, lass?"

She frowned, her lips forming into a thin line. "I'd say I don't believe in coincidences."

"Aye. Neither do I. I'll get my statement out of the way, and then I'm going to have to make a call. You alright to drive?" He asked, fishing his keys from his pocket.

"For real?" She asked, as he tossed them in her direction. She caught the keys one-handed, the flicker of a smile as her fist closed around them.

He shrugged. "Under the circumstances, you could hardly do her any more damage."

She flipped him off, but kept the keys.

"That is, if you manage to convince your new friend to let us move her, that is."

Emma turned back to the young cop who'd questioned her earlier, sizing him up. "I could give it a shot."

"Excellent. You do that. I'll give my best impression of being a hapless bystander. We'll reconvene in ten."

"And if I don't convince him?" Emma asked.

"I have every confidence in you, Swan," he said, with an absent pat to her shoulder as he began walking away. "And a receipt for a steak lunch in my wallet to remind me why."

They made a stop at a convenience store a few blocks away, Killian ducking in for some Saran Wrap while Emma stayed put to deter any would-be car thieves. Not a permanent solution, but it would make driving around in a rainstorm a degree less miserable.

"So what did she say?" Emma asked without preamble, as she stood watching him try to tape up the passenger side window.

"Who, lass?" he asked absently, struggling to find the edge of the duct tape.

Emma merely rolled her eyes, taking the tape from him and tearing off a long strip with her teeth.

"She claims it wasn't her," Killian continued at last, as he took it from her, taping down the first layer.

"And what do you think?" Emma asked, in imitation of his earlier words.

"I think that if Regina Mills wanted me dead, I would be. But since she's the only person I know for a fact is keeping tabs on our whereabouts, it was only polite to ask."

Emma snorted unkindly. "Yeah, okay. So who is trying to kill us?"

"No idea. Presumably whoever got Pan out of the way. Perhaps even Pan himself, trying to elude capture. Or someone under his employ. To be perfectly frank, Emma, I'm not sure I care any longer either way."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, lass," Killian said, patting down the last of the tape, and giving the door an experimental slam. "It means I'm pulling the plug."

Emma's eyes went wide. "Pulling the plug? Are you kidding me? You're giving up?"

"No, we're giving up. My next call is to Gold, informing him we're off the case. Then I was thinking I might spray paint it in silver on the side of my car, just so everyone really gets the message."

"You can't be serious."

"You're right, Swan. Silver isn't quite eye catching enough. Perhaps red would be better. Really draw the eye."

He made to move back towards the passenger door, but Emma blocked his path, her arms folded over her chest. "You can't give up now. We're close. We've gotta be. Why else would someone bother coming after us?"

"Why else indeed?" he said, stepping around her. "Look, Swan, I like money as much as the next bloke, but I did not sign up to be cannon fodder. Nor to watch you become the same. Rest assured, you'll get your share. I'll make sure of it."

"That's what you think I'm worried about?" Emma asked, hurrying up behind him. "Jones, it's not about the money. It's the principle of the thing!"

He whirled around suddenly, surprised to find Emma directly on his heels, so close he might've been tempted to take a half step back, if he hadn't wanted to lose face. "Principles?" he scoffed. "Let me tell you what happened to the most principled man I ever met, darling. He tried to intervene in a bad situation, and ended up with a hole in his chest the size of a quarter. Take it from me, Emma. Principles are not all they're cracked up to be."

"You're making a mistake," Emma said, still far too close.

"Am I?" Killian wondered aloud. "Well then, if so, I'm prepared to live with that. Now if you'd be so kind, my keys. It's time I drove you home."

"You're in no condition-"

"On the contrary. I'm feeling better every second. Keys." He said, holding his palm out defiantly.

Her eyes narrowed, the fight in them not quite extinguished. "Sure," she said at last, keys dangling from one finger. "You can take me home. You can call Gold. But first, one condition."

Killian rolled his eyes at the lass's moxy. "And what might that be?" he sneered.

"A drink," she said, dropping the keys into his palm. "We're going for a drink."

"This is ill-advised, lass," Killian grumbled, as they pulled into the parking lot behind The Rabbit Hole. "You do recall the last time we were out in public someone took a potshot at us?"

"Exactly," Emma said, to his surprise. "A potshot. Not a hit. If someone really wanted to kill us, we'd be dead. It was a message."

"One you seem intent on ignoring," he mumbled, but of course she paid him no mind.

"C'mon," she said, leaning over to unclip his seatbelt, as if he were nothing more than a recalcitrant child. After an afternoon full of indignities, it did nothing to help his sour mood.

"So our defenses will be lowered next time someone takes a shot at us? Or so someone can steal my car while we're inside?"

She gave him a level look. "Get the fuck out of the car, Jones. Or I'll drag you."

As much as he might have liked to see her try, the familiar surroundings also brought with them the uncomfortable memory of watching Emma Swan best a man nearly twice her size, only days before. And that man hadn't been injured at the time.

With no small reluctance, he followed her inside, taking a seat beside her at the bar. The place was busier than he'd anticipated, the booths filled to capacity with people already getting a head start on happy hour.

"Well this is a pretty picture," came the annoyingly jovial voice of August Booth as he sauntered into view. "You guys have heard of an umbrella, haven't you?" he asked, taking in their generally bedraggled appearance. "It's not new technology."

"Spare me the lecture," Emma said, placing two twenties down on the bar. "A whisky sour for me and a rum for the grumpy old man. And some clean towels, if you have any."

August looked from the money, to their equally joyless expressions, back to the money again. "Coming right up."

A thought occurred to Killian, just as August returned, bearing two tumblers and and a bundle of unused bar towels. "How exactly did you know I like rum?"

Emma fixed him with an unimpressed look. "Because I pay attention."

"The night we met?"

She nodded, raising her glass wordlessly to her lips.

"You're wasted in bail bonds, lass."

She shrugged. "Like police work pays any better?"

"Well, a pension is not to be sneezed at. But there's always the private sector."

"Because you're doing so well?" Emma asked pointedly.

Instead of replying, Killian merely downed the rest of his drink, and signaled August for another. "Back in a second, lass," he said, rising from his stool.

He almost made it to the men's room before he felt the tug on his arm, looking around to see Emma standing there with round, apologetic eyes.

"Look," she said, "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I'm just… I don't like this. We were getting along, weren't we? I mean, I thought we were getting along."

"We were getting along," Killian confirmed.

"And now?"

He gave a loud exhale. "Now I'm going to the men's room." And shaking her loose, he disappeared behind the swinging door before she could stop him.

She was still there in the hallway when he emerged five minutes later, finally grown bored of his own weary reflection.

"Please tell me you haven't been standing there the whole time."

"Here," she said, procuring Killian's next tumbler of rum from behind her back. "Peace offering."

He accepted it with a grateful nod.

"I got us a booth," Emma said, leading the way back out into the main bar. "I thought maybe you weren't in the mood for listening to our bartender practice his pitch for his conference call with Sony tomorrow."

"I'm much obliged to you, Swan," he said, with a small raise of his glass in her direction, as he followed her back out into the main bar.

The booth she'd commandeered was cosy enough, with a window opposite where the blinds had been opened, leaving a good view of the parking lot.

"So we'll be able to see if anyone actually tries to break into your car," she added, as they took their seats.

It was a thoughtful gesture, and between that and the rum sliding down his throat, Killian felt something awfully close to guilt begin to gnaw at his better nature.

"My brother was shot," Killian said suddenly, the words rising to his lips before he could bite them back. "Right in front of me. So I'm sorry if I seem out of sorts, I just..."

"Naturally find getting shot at kind of traumatic," Emma finished for him.

"Aye."

It was easier to stare at his glass on the table than it was to meet her eyes during the uneasy silence that followed.

"He always was an insufferable do-gooder," he continued, though he had no idea why he was telling her these things. "This whole private detection schtick was his idea in the first place. He'd just come out of the Navy. I'd just had my first real heartbreak. It'd be a fresh start, he said. Private detectives in Los Angeles. I think he watched too many reruns of The Rockford Files as a kid. Should probably be grateful the Firebird isn't gold."

He chanced a glance in her direction, just in time to see the ghost of a smile form on her lips.

"We were in a convenience store when a man came in wearing a mask. Armed robbery. My brother tried to be stupidly noble, wrestle the gun away from him. He… didn't make it."

"What was his name?" Emma asked, her hand hovering above the table top slightly, like she wasn't quite sure what to do with it.

"Liam."

"The other Jones in Jones & Jones Investigations, I'm guessing?"

"Aye. That'd be the one."

"I like that you kept the name," she said, causing Killian to look up at her curiously. "And the car."

"Well," he said, with a small twist of a smile. "I confess the car's grown on me a bit."

"My car's stolen," Emma said suddenly, surprising him again. "I stole it when I was 17."

"But that isn't what you went to prison for?" He'd read her arrest report, and grand theft auto had been nowhere on it.

"No, I went to prison because the guy I loved set me up to take the fall for a watch heist he pulled. But he did send me the keys to the Bug while I was inside. New plates, new VIN. As far as half-assed apologies go, I've had worse."

If it had been him, Killian might have taken the thing for a long drive off a short pier, and he said as much.

Emma shrugged. "It's good to have a reminder."

"That this lad deserves a good kneecapping?" Killian suggested.

"That no one was going to look out for me," Emma clarified. "So I'd just have to look out for myself."

An orphan's mantra if ever there was one.

"And yet you're prepared to put yourself in the line of fire for Peter Pan, of all people?" Killian asked, incredulously. " A spoiled brat with zero self-control and no apparent grasp of grammar?"

"He's just a kid, Killian!" Emma said, her anger finally exploding outwards. "A kid no one would even notice was missing if they weren't all desperate to make money off of him. C'mon! Tell me that doesn't piss you off, just a bit?"

So this was it. The heartfelt plea. She knew what she was doing, he'd give her that. Beating a man while he was down. Making him feel like a monster. Making him crave her approval. Lulled into complacency by four fingers of rum and a sob story.

"Of course it does, Swan. But I'm not in the habit of feeling sorry for people with lounge suites larger than my entire apartment. Nor do I feel inclined to stick my neck out for them."

"Well I'm telling you that someone needs to. Because no one else gives a shit about that kid. Not really. And look, I get it. It's dangerous. You don't really want your head blown off, and honestly, who could blame you? But I'm staying on the case. I already called Belle and let her know. With or without you, I'm not giving up. Not yet. Not when we finally have confirmation there's some larger scheme at play here."

"Love-"

"Emma," she corrected, her drink halfway to her lips.

"Emma," he amended through gritted teeth. "If you think you can get me to do what you say, simply by putting yourself in harm's way..."

She scoffed. "That's not what I'm trying to do."

"Yes. It is," he said, snatching her drink out of her hands, and setting it down on the table. "You think some long buried sense of chivalry will override any of my misgivings, and I'll be forced to stay around to help you."

She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Is it working?"

She was a wily one. Why did he always like the wily ones?

He let out a long-suffering sigh. "Get your jacket, love. I'm taking you home."

The drive back to Silver Lake was quiet, save for the plastic thrum of the Saran Wrap buffeting against the wind. There was no need to say anything. Her serene smile under the glow of the streetlamps said enough. The lass had won the day, and there was no point pretending otherwise.

He parked in the shadow of a nearby tree, moving to climb out as she did.

"I think I can make it fifty feet without incident, Jones."

"Humor me," he drawled. "Besides, you were the one who was so keen to keep me around."

With a shrug of her shoulders, she let him fall into step behind her, climbing the concrete steps up to her door one at a time.

"Want to come in?" she asked, fumbling inside her jacket for her keys.

"Best not."

"What if there's an assassin hiding in my closet?"

Killian smirked. "Then I wish them good luck. They'll need it."

She turned around to regard him for a moment, cocking her head to the side as if she was deliberating over something.

"I'd like you to come inside, Killian," she said at last, her eyes softening a fraction.

Her use of his first name surprised him. But not quite so much as the warmth with which the invitation was delivered. Like she'd actually meant it. And Killian Jones was capable of a great many things, but of denying Emma Swan a sincere request? Not bloody likely.

"Then by all means," he said with a wave of his hand. "Lead on."

Her apartment looked no better by night, still just a shabby bolthole, in a rabbit warren of other shabby boltholes. But as he lowered himself onto her couch with a ragged sigh of relief, he thought perhaps it had a few redeeming qualities.

"Here," she said, emerging from the kitchen bearing a glass of water and a number of white tablets. "Should do the trick."

He swallowed them down readily, draining the glass after in one smooth motion.

"Better?" she asked, shifting his legs to sit down beside him.

"Give it a moment, Swan," he said, setting the glass back down on the coffee table.

"Something to distract you while you wait?" she asked.

His first thought had been Netflix. Or perhaps more half-baked theories as to who exactly had been using them for target practice. But when Emma instead rolled over and straddled his lap, he had to reassess a few things.

"Swan?" But the time for talking, it seemed, was done. With one hand trailing up to twist into his hair, she pulled his lips to hers, and he felt himself sinking, sinking into beautiful oblivion.

Killian had always known Emma Swan was a bit of a spitfire. Considering their first meeting had necessitated a skin tight dress and gratuitous use of pepper spray, that was hardly surprising. And from the first, he'd been attracted. Garishly attracted.

But perhaps he'd been underestimating exactly what it would feel like, to have all of that intensity, all of that heat, directed at him. She was, in a word, an inferno. And as he pulled her closer, returning the kiss with equal fervor, he thought it might be a good thing to burn. A very good thing indeed.

"What happened…" he said, as he broke away for breath, "... to not dating clients?"

He could feel her mouth stretch into a grin, even as she left a trail of kisses along his jawline. "That's not… what I'm suggesting," she whispered, her lips ghosting over his earlobe, making him instantly hard.

"That's probably not..." he said, grabbing her by the chin so that he could devour her lips once more, "... a good idea."

"Yeah," she agreed with an experimental roll of her hips that left him breathless and wanting. "But I don't really care."

And after another moment of delicious friction, Killian found he didn't much care either. Not until he made to remove his jacket, only to have his entire left side erupt in pain.

"Bloody hell," he hissed. "Fighting injured here, lass," he said, with a grunt of frustration. But instead of taking that as a red light, Emma instead seemed to take it as a personal challenge, reaching forward to slide his jacket off his shoulders herself.

"Gently does it," she whispered, as she leaned in to undo his shirt buttons, one at a time. "If we're going to do this, you're going to have to trust me."

"Trust you?" he repeated, looking into her eyes properly for the first time since she'd instigated this little encounter. She was breathtaking so close up, her cheeks flushed red, her eyes shining brightly. A bloody siren on a sand bank. And if he wasn't mistaken, just a bit pleased with herself.

"Yeah. Think you can do that, Jones?"

There was no denying it. He was a ruined man.

#cs ff #cs au #cs big bang #csbb #a lost boy's guide to Hollywood

61 notes · View notes

impurelight · 3 years

Text

iOS VS Android

I recently got an iPhone and with WWDC come and gone I thought I'd reflect on some of the differences between the two devices. Because I've seen a lot of comparisons between the two devices and they always talk about the superficial things that no one really cares about.

Like this phone has a 120 Hz display. This phone has feature X. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what is it like to use?

Things I Like About The iPhone

In short the iPhone is just nicer than Android. Things are just designed a little better. Things work a little better. Like the bottom navbar. It's a complete joke on Android.

I wrote about it here. On my custom rom all of my complaints have been addressed. But it is a highly tweaked rom so I'm not sure if this applies to the base Android 11.

But still there is a black spot under the navbar in most apps including mine. I haven't figured out how to remove it in Flutter just yet.

Taptic Engine

OMG. The Taptic engine is amazing. And going back to my previous Xiaomi phone; that phone's vibration is complete trash. And apps know the taptic engine is amazing because they'll use it all the time. Android apps will never use vibration. Probably because they know it feels just meh.

Although I think I tried a Samsung phone once and it had similar haptics. Only the flagship. Apparently the A-series still has the garbage haptics that most Android phones have.

This begs the question though: why doesn't the default iOS keyboard support keyboard haptics. Instead you get this terrible tapping sound. What year is this? 2005?

I installed Gboard to try to get around this problem and it has an option for haptic feedback on the keys but it doesn't work that well.

Raise To Wake

This is a pretty neat feature. On an Android phone to wake it you need to press the power button. On an iPhone it just wakes up whenever it senses that you lifted the phone up basically making the power button redundant.

It took a little time getting used to. I'd turn off the phone's screen just for it to wake right up.

So I guess you're supposed to just let the phone's screen time out to turn it off. It's really weird. It's a nice to have but I don't think Apple really thought this one through.

Oh, yeah, you can also wake the device just by tapping on it. Which is cool I guess. Some Android phones let you wake them by double tapping. It's just a single tap here though.

Truetone

I love truetone. It looks so good. Although to be fair you can't really notice it unless you're comparing the iPhone to an Android phone. But then you really notice it.

FaceID

I'm filing this one under the things I like category although I don't really have that strong feelings for FaceID.

Android phones usually have a fingerprint reader. Most of the new phones have an under display one. It's alright but if your finger is wet it won't work which can be annoying.

So FaceID will work with a wet finger. But now you have a new problem. If you're wearing a mask it won't work (although I think they might have fixed that). And if you're not looking a the phone it won't work.

I'm talking about when the phone is on the table and you power it up while it's still lying flat. It won't be able to find you. Not the attention feature which you can disable in settings.

Lack Of Back Button Wasn't A Problem

I thought it would be, I even enabled the back shortcut where you slide from the left. But every time you need to go back there's a context button in the top left. So you really don't need that button anymore.

Things I Don't Like About iOS

So I really think iOS is beautifully made. But it's also flawed. In my short time with iOS I'd have to conclude that ultimately iOS is a beautiful toy. It looks nice but it's not really intended to get any serious work done. So I will not be using it as my primary phone OS. And here's why.

The Notifications Are Terrible

OMG. How do you make notifications this bad? And in 2021 too! I would have thought a mobile OS would have figured this out. But no. Android's notifications were lightyears ahead of Apple's... 5 years ago. Now they're even better and Apple is stuck in the stone age.

OK, where do I begin. Well for starters your notifications only appear until you unlock the phone. Then they go to this weird limbo you can only get to by swiping down from the top left.

Oh, that's another thing I don't like. The quick pull down. I always hated it when some Android roms did it by default and I hate it here too.

Then what's next? How do you close notifications? By swiping? No! That's how you open the notifications. You have to press on the X button. One by one.

And notifications don't work that well either. I think I'm not receiving notifications while I'm using the phone. I'm not exactly sure that's the reason but that would explain why I don't receive a notification for 2 factor code messages.

Too Many Notification Badges

OK, I don't need to know I have over 3000 unread RSS stories. I'll get to them when I have time.

And yeah, sure, you can disable them. But then you have to go through them app by app which is annoying.

No Battery Percent In Status Bar

Now on Android it's more of an afterthought with only one small option which screams that some developer put it in for debugging and no one bothered to take it out. But I still wish it was there.

Some Apps Don't Allow IAP's

I opened the Audible app excited to be able to see the daily deals. Nope. Not on iOS. Sorry.

The Notch

OK, look. My previous phone was a Mi 9T which had a pop up camera and no notch or cutout of any kind so I may be a bit spoiled. But the iPhone's notch is really big and annoying. Not really in portrait. But in landscape games you really notice it.

You sort of learn to live with it, but it's still annoying.

Long Pressing The Power Button Doesn't Turn Off The Phone

This opens Siri instead which maybe I might get used to. But every other phone brings up the power down option when you long press the power button so this is very weird.

Even old iPhones brought up a power down slider when you held down the power button. I mean, it is called a power button y'know.

Square Corners On The Phone

OK, I have a case so this is a non-issue for me. But if you don't have a case it's very difficult to pick up from the table.

Square Corners on a phone are nice, but impractical.

Doesn't Have Android's Rotate Button

Android recently introduced this option that brought up an icon when you rotated the phone while you have rotation lock on. And I really love this feature.

Too bad Apple doesn't have it. How do you rotate the device? Go to the settings and disable rotation lock and then re-enable it again later. Like a barbarian.

Oh, well, at least the rotation animation is prettier than Android's. It seems to be the same animation though. Maybe it's played slower or something.

0 notes

astrosilverio · 6 years

Text

How not to hack Python’s virtual memory

On Friday I decided I wanted to muck around with a Python process's virtual memory, do something simple like change a value from outside the process. There are blog posts describing how to do this and I expected to be up and running and causing havoc after an hour or so of light effort.

I should probably mention that I have no good reason for attempting this. There are good reasons for peeking at a process's memory; for example, I kept getting hits on Julia Evans' ruby profiler blog posts while googling for how macOS even /procs (bear with me, explanation later). If you're writing a profiler, you definitely want to peek at other process' stacks, heaps, VM, etc. I am not doing that. I just have bad ideas.

First steps

I started out with a vague directive ("change something in a Python process from elsewhere") and started investigating naively, before reading any blog posts or digging around on stack overflow. [Not that there is anything wrong with using tools; I just tend to retain information better when I start from first principles]. I had some facts on hand:

Processes use virtual memory, an abstraction in which physical memory addresses (actual locations on your hardware) get mapped to virtual addresses. As far as I understand, this system provides security (as an attacker, I can't meaningfully guess what addresses contain useful information) and simplifying abstractions for the process itself (as a user, you can run multiple processes at once without having to worry that they might both be using hardcoded addresses that overlap).

Python objects have ids that correspond to the objects' addresses in virtual memory.

I can use id(obj) to see where particular objects live in Python's virtual memory space, and I can even use a module in the standard library called ctypes to set particular bytes in memory and therefore modify VM from inside Python (theoretically; I haven't gotten it to work yet). However that's not quite what I want, and I was still curious about how Python allocates virtual memory anyway.

"Aha", I thought. "There must be something in /proc for this." One of my standard debugging techniques is to just ls /proc/$pid and see if I can find anything relevant in there. For the uninitiated, /proc is a pseudo filesystem in Linux that provides interesting system information in a format consistent with the rest of your, real, filesystem. Every process has a "folder" in /proc indexed by process id that contains "files" full of juicy tidbits; try cat /proc/$pid/status for starters.

Dear readers, I am on MacOS. MacOS does not have /proc. I'm honestly a little embarrassed that it took me so long to notice that I do not have /proc. This is the exact moment that I started frantically googling.

MacOS has tools too! and we get an interesting-ish result

Light digging reveals that there is a /proc/$pid/maps that shows you what each block of a process's VM is for, and that the MacOS equivalent is vmmap. Default output of vmmap includes the type of block and a brief description of what it's for; for a Python process, you'll see non-writable blocks of type __TEXT that are labelled with the path to your local copy of Python and its libraries. There are also address ranges, sizes, and a column for "sharing mode" that describes if and how pages are shared between processes. The C code objects used by the standard library, for example, frequently are stored in "copy-on-write" share-mode blocks. The vast majority of the time, you won't be modifying the datetime library and that code can be shared etween processes. However, if you are modifying that library in one process, you would not necessarily want those changes to suddenly appear in another process; the logical solution is to share that code by default but copy if if you write it, hence the name "copy-on-write". It's abbreviated COW which is why it captured my interest in the first place.

Next I messed around and imported libraries and created objects in the repl and looked up the regions where they lived. Even at the edges of my creativity, most of my objects lived in blocks of memory labelled "DefaultMallocZone" of type "MALLOC_" like MALLOC_TINY or MALLOC_LARGE. That they all belonged to "DefaultMallocZone" made sense to me--after all, everything that I was examining lived in the heap, and I would be concerned if the heap was not all contained under the same label. The different size blocks are an optimization enabled by the operating system that facilitates garbage collection. As explained in this post, different size MALLOC regions have different "resolutions"; MALLOC_TINY, for example, quantifies its allocations in units of 16 bytes whereas MALLOC_LARGE has page-level granularity. Finer grained MALLOC regions let you pack tiny objects in more densely and enables finer-grained garbage collection. However, fine-grained garbage collection is a poor choice for larger objects, which will cause a lot of scanning. The upshot for us is that integers end up in MALLOC_TINY regions and functions end up in MALLOC_LARGE regions.

At this point I realized that I was having a lot of fun but had digressed from my mission. Moving forward.

I miss you, /proc

Next, I found a blog post that describes step-by-step a method for modifying Python objects at the VM level. I gave it a skim and learned that there is in fact a /proc tool that will let you look at a process' VM--/proc/$pid/mem. Once the authors find where the variable they want to modify lives, they overwrite it in /proc/$pid/mem.

Well, /proc/$pid/maps has a MacOS equivalent, so now I just have to find the /proc/$pid/mem counterpart, right?

Wrong.

Turns out MacOS is safe or something? There's a Mach (Mac Kernel) function called task_for_pid that "gives you access to a process's port" which seems useful, but also can do bad things to your computer and requires some security work and I don't want to deal with either.

Next steps? Lessons learned?

I crashed and burned at task_for_pid after a day of frustration. I still don't really have a good reason to be messing with Python's VM, but now I am annoyed and need to do something bad. Therefore, the next step is to figure out how to get ctypes.memmove working so that I can at least muck with a Python process from inside it.

While I'll be ultimately dissatisfied if my day's worth of effort does not result in at least some chaos, I have actually learned some useful things about Mac vs Linux, malloc on Mac, and how Python manages memory (see this transcript).

Until next time,

Your local frustrated agent of chaos

0 notes