#i took a break from it for 3 months to kinda evaluate if i wanted to keep going bc im not 100% binary

[tearingdread]

hmmmmm…..

[honey-dewey]

Gold in the Summertime

Pairing:  Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales/Reader

Word Count: 2,545

Warnings: Panic attacks, mentions of injury, stitches, and needles, but it’s mostly just that sweet sweet hurt/comfort

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Very few good things ever happen at three AM in the Urgent Care. Let’s make a short list of things that will definitely not fall under the category of ‘good.’ 1) Having a patient who has apparently injured himself but refuses to tell you how. 2) Said patient hyperventilating and panicking until he actually breaks something because you tried to give him a tetanus shot. 3) The same patient’s three best friends yelling at you. 4) Singing to still the same patient to calm him down so you can stick him with a tiny needle so he won’t possibly die of tetanus.

A/N: The song that inspired this fic is actually a favorite of mine called ‘Gold in the Summertime’ by Matt Nathanson. Not required to read the fic, but it’s a cute song. 

“Hey.” 

“Oh hell no,” you said, turning to see your fellow night shift nurse, Tori, standing in the door of the break room. “No, I am not dealing with whatever drunken fool walked into that waiting room. It is three in the morning and I do not feel like screwing around right now.” 

Tori raised an eyebrow. “Done?” 

“Done,” you said, standing and preparing for the inevitable. “Who’s the patient?” 

Tori handed you a file. You opened it, quickly scanning the information. F. Morales, forty two years old, in decent health, up to date with all his immunizations, served in the military, and was currently in the Urgent Care for a laceration on his left shoulder. 

“How bad is it?” You asked, closing the file and following Tori to the waiting room. 

“Eh,” she said with a shrug. “He isn’t gushing blood, so it’s not ER worthy. Probably just needs some stitches and a tetanus shot, depending on what got him.” 

You blinked. “He didn’t say?” 

Tori grinned. “Nope. Have fun.” 

Groaning to yourself, you opened the waiting room door. “Morales?” 

A man stood up, clearly the injured one in his group of friends due to the wad of cloth he was pressing to his left shoulder. “Yes?” 

“Follow me,” you said, tucking the file beneath your arm. “So, what happened?” 

The man grimaced. “Uh, I busted my shoulder.” 

“How?” 

The man was silent as you pushed open an exam room door and gestured him inside. “Well?” 

“Well what?” 

You sighed. “How’d you cut yourself?” You asked again, watching the man hop up on the exam table. You walked around to his back and slowly cut away the patch of his shirt that covered his shoulder. “And while you’re at it, you got a first name I could use, Mr. Morales?” 

“Please just call me Frankie, most people do.” 

“Most people?” 

Frankie shifted as you examined the harsh tear in the skin. “My friends, those assholes outside, call me Catfish.” 

You chuckled. “Military nickname?” 

“Yeah.” Frankie winced as you pressed a finger against the wound. 

A beat of silence, and then you had another question. “Is Frankie your legal name?” 

“No, why?” 

You smiled. “We need a legal name for the records.” 

Frankie shrugged his uninjured right shoulder as you continued to evaluate the messy scrape on his left. “It’s Francisco. And that shit hurts.” 

“Sorry,” you said, stepping back. “It needs a few stitches,” you decided. “But it isn’t horribly urgent so I’m gonna go grill your buddies outside to see if they’ll give me more answers about what happened.” 

Frankie nodded, watching you leave. 

“Would the party that escorted one Francisco Morales please follow me?” You asked, pushing open the waiting room door. 

Three men stood up, and you led them down the hall a ways, so your conversation would be private. “Alright. Spill. He won’t tell me what happened.” 

The man on the left snorted. “Unsurprising,” he said. “Fish is like a damn lockbox.”

“Benny,” the man in the middle hissed, nudging the man on the left. “Santi, you wanna take this? You saw it best.” 

“Excuse you!” Benny objected. “I was there too!” 

“You’re drunk.” 

The man on the right, Santi, sighed. “Frankie got into a fight outside the bar we were at tonight. Some guy made a horrible comment about how women belong in the kitchen, I dunno, I didn’t hear that bit too well. But Frankie managed to win the fight with minimal injuries, right up until the guy’s equally shitty friend clipped his shoulder with a ripped in half beer can.” 

You nodded, jotting notes down on Frankie’s file. “So what I’m hearing is that he was cut with a piece of likely filthy metal?” 

“Yep.” 

“Perfect,” You grumbled sarcastically. “You boys can head back to the waiting room. I’ll send him out when I’m done.” 

The boys left, and you swung by the supply closet to grab a suture kit before heading back into Frankie’s exam room. “Still bleeding?” 

Frankie looked up. “Yeah.” He had taken his hat off, fidgeting with the worn out brim. “Hurts.” 

“I’ll bet,” you said, coming up behind him and gently taking his hand off the wound. “Gonna pop some stitches in, disinfect the hell out of this, then get your height, weight, the like, and send you off with a tetanus shot just for good measure. That old beer can probably doesn’t have any kind of illness, but we have to be sure.” 

Frankie was silent, which wasn’t a good thing. You disinfected the wound, which sent him into a tailspin of hissed curses in your general direction, and before he realized what was happening, you were halfway done with the stitches. 

“And that’s the last one,” you said, tying off the last stitch. “The stitches dissolve after a while, so you shouldn’t have to worry about coming back to get them removed. But do take care to change the bandages twice a day, and do not use this arm. I don’t care what you have to do, please do not rip these stitches.” 

Frankie chuckled. “Yes doctor.” 

Finishing up the bandage, you grinned at Frankie’s current shirt situation. “Do you want me to grab you a new shirt? I kinda ruined yours.” 

“You did your job,” Frankie pointed out. “But yes, that would be nice.” 

You ducked out of the room and grabbed a spare shirt from the nurse’s lost and found. “No one’s claimed this thing for almost eight months. I think the guy who owned it quit,” you said, handing Frankie the old Jack Daniels whiskey shirt. You watched him struggle to put it on, helping him a bit as the shirt got caught on his shoulder. 

“Okay, follow me,” you said once Frankie was wearing a shirt again. He followed, just as asked, and you took his height and weight, texting both figures to Tori so she could prep a tetanus shot for you. In the meantime, you kept Frankie occupied, asking him questions about military things in the exam room. 

“What’d you do in the military?” 

“I was a pilot.” 

“Planes?” 

“Helos.” 

“Fun. I’ve never been in a helicopter before. Those friends outside, are they?” 

“Military friends? Yeah, mostly. I knew Santiago before all that though.” 

A knock at the door interrupted your bonding session. Tori opened the door, holding a tray with the tetanus shot and a band-aid. “Sorry. Those shitty kids band-aids were all I could find.” 

You shrugged. “Nah, it’s fine. I’m sure Mr. Morales won’t object to a Paw Patrol band-aid.” 

However, as you turned back to Frankie, you realized he’d gone white as a sheet. “Frankie?” 

Frankie shied away from you, despite you not moving. “Don’t,” he said, voice choked. “Please.” 

Your heart squeezed at the desperation in his voice. He was very plainly terrified. “Frankie,” you repeated calmly, holding both hands up so he knew you were unarmed. “Hey, deep breaths.” 

Frankie took a stuttering breath, and you sent a silent prayer out that he wouldn’t have a panic attack here. You sat next to him, keeping a few feet of space between you and him. “Do you want me to go get the boys?” 

Frankie shook his head, eyes wide. You tried to think. Distracting him would do no good. You’d tried that before with other people, and with patients who were this panicky, a distraction made it worse. Trying to sneak up on him was somehow an even worse idea. With his background, he was likely to know when someone was trying to surprise him, and he could definitely defend himself. The only thing you could think of was calming him down and then sticking him as fast as you could. 

It took a few minutes, but Frankie’s breathing returned to normal, and his muscles relaxed somewhat. You didn’t move, simply sitting there beside him and establishing yourself as a calm figure despite your reeling mind. “Frankie?” 

He looked up at you, not saying a word. 

“Are you ready to try?” You asked. “I have to give you the shot. I don’t want you to get sick, okay? Tetanus is a killer, and I don’t wanna see you dying in a hospital bed until you’re at least eighty, okay?” 

A slow nod. You stood, making your movements obvious as you put on new gloves and opened an alcohol wipe. 

“C’mere,” you said, gesturing Frankie closer. He scooted towards you, and you met him halfway. “This is cold, just a warning.” 

You rolled up Frankie’s shirt sleeve, exposing his left shoulder. He shivered as you ran the alcohol wipe across his skin, and kept his eyes anywhere but on you as you uncapped the tiny syringe. “Frankie?” 

Frankie whined, his breathing picking up again as his body barreled towards full panic mode. 

“Frankie!” You recapped the syringe and set it aside, turning your full attention to Frankie. He jumped away from you, eyes wide once more. You stood back as he curled in on himself, breathing quickening too fast. He was hyperventilating. “Frankie! Listen to me! You’re not-“ 

You cut yourself off as the loud, ragged breaths began to turn into animalistic screams, Frankie losing his balance and falling off the exam table and crashing into the sink before hitting the floor. The thud his body made scared you, but not as much as his current panicked state. 

“Tori!” You yelled, opening the door and yelling for your coworker. “Tori!” 

Unfortunately, it was not Tori who came to your rescue. It was Frankie’s three friends, all of whom looked incredibly concerned. Tori was behind them, shouting that they couldn’t be back here. Santiago simply pushed past you and immediately rushed to Frankie’s side, the other two joining him as he attempted to console Frankie. 

You, knowing your help wouldn’t be needed, tried to step away, but Santiago turned to call you back. “Come here!” 

Sighing, you hesitantly entered the exam room. “What do you need from me?” 

“What did you do to him?” Benny asked, clearly the most worried. “He hasn’t had an attack this bad in years!” 

“I just tried to give him a tetanus shot!” You defended. 

Santiago and the other man had gotten Frankie situated back on the exam table, sitting on his sides and keeping him upright as Benny rushed in and took his hands. “Fish? You with us buddy?” 

Frankie, who had thankfully stopped screaming, whined. Benny smiled, squeezing his hands. “There’s our Fish. Hey, hey, no, look at me,” he directed as Frankie’s eyes drifted to you in the corner and his breath hitched. 

Frankie’s head slumped against Santiago’s shoulder. He hummed uncomfortably, face scrunching as he shifted, trying to get comfortable. 

“His shoulder,” you guessed softly. “Someone’s touching it.” 

The man on Frankie’s right looked at his back. “Shit. Sorry Fish.” 

Frankie sighed in relief and turned into pudding against Santiago’s shoulder. Benny still held his hands, humming softly. The other man, whose name you still didn’t know, stood and pulled you aside. “Hey. Did he tell you?” 

“That he was trypanophobic?” You said, sliding your hands in your pockets. “No. But I figured it out pretty quickly when he went white as hell as soon as he saw the syringe. No one has a reaction this severe unless they have a phobia.” 

The man nodded. “Yeah. Benny was right. Fish is kinda stubborn about these things. He hasn’t had an anxiety attack in years though. Sorry Benny gave you shit about triggering one. I know it wasn’t really your fault.” 

“It was,” you mumbled, eyeing Frankie over the man’s shoulder. “It just wasn’t my intention.” 

“Yeah.” The man looked back at Frankie. “Is the tetanus shot necessary?” 

You nodded. “Unfortunately, yes.”

Santiago looked at you. “How good are you at singing?” 

“I’m sorry?” 

“It keeps him calm,” Santiago explained. “He used to sing to the helos whenever there was bad turbulence. Kept him level. We’d do it while you give him the shot, but none of us can sing.” 

Frankie made a small, strangled noise, and you almost freaked out until Benny smiled and you realized Frankie was trying to laugh. 

Smiling, you grabbed the syringe, a new alcohol wipe, and the band-aid. Santiago moved so he was sitting mostly behind Frankie, still supporting him. The other man, who you faintly heard Benny call Will, sat back on Frankie’s right. Benny took Frankie’s hands and stood to the side a bit so you would have room to work. 

“Oh, let’s keep this going, I wanna go all in,” you sang softly, repeating some cute and catchy song Tori insisted on playing whenever she could. “We’ll never be lonely in the dark.” As you sang, you opened the alcohol wipe and cleaned a patch of Frankie’s shoulder. 

“Rooftop in soho, Prince on the radio,” you kept going, uncapping the syringe and taking Frankie’s arm. “The city streets glow, gold in the summertime.” You quickly, between words, stuck Frankie and pressed down on the plunger. He whined, shying from the pain, but you just pressed the band-aid over the tiny puncture mark and kept singing. “Summertime, summertime, summertime, I gotta get that feeling.” 

Gently taking Benny’s place, you stripped your gloves off and put your hands overtop Frankie’s. “You did good, Frankie,” you said. “C’mon, let’s get you out of here so the boys can take you home.” 

Frankie wobbled to his feet, still nonverbal and a bit unsteady. You ended up needing a break in the waiting room, which was still empty. Giving Santiago a bottle of water for Frankie, you sat next to Frankie while the boys started the car. 

You absently hummed the song from earlier, mostly to fill the stifling silence. As you reached the part you’d sung for Frankie, you noticed, with a small jolt, that he was humming along with you. 

“You like the song?” You guessed, and Frankie nodded. 

“Here.” You pulled a pen from your coat pocket and took his hand. “Give the whole thing a listen,” you said, scrawling down the name and artist of the song on Frankie’s hand. “And then call me,” you finished, adding your phone number below the writing. 

Frankie smiled. “Meet cute,” he rasped, voice practically destroyed. 

You laughed. “This is more of a meet ugly, but sure.” 

Santiago came back, helping Frankie to his feet. 

“See you again?” Frankie asked, voice still pretty shot.

“Hopefully not,” you said, holding the door open for Santiago. “At least, not here.” 

Just like that, Frankie was gone. 

That sunrise, as you settled into bed, you got a text from an unknown number. 

Unknown Number: Song was super cute. Definitely adding it to my exercise playlist

You: Is this Mr. Morales?

Unknown Number: Just Frankie

Unknown Number was saved as Just Frankie

You: Okay Just Frankie. How’s your shoulder

Just Frankie: Hurts like a bitch, but I’ve had worse. 

You: I’ll bet. 

Just Frankie: Hey, wanted to ask you something 

You: shoot

Just Frankie: do you always work nights?

You: not always, but mostly. 

Just Frankie: cool. You free tomorrow at noon? I found this cool lunch place that has the best burgers ever

You: ever? I’ll have to see about that

Just Frankie: it’s a date then 

You: It’s a date

[kyleys-empty-mind-shit]

butterflies • i

pairing(s): marinette dupain cheng x adrien agreste || ladybug x chat noir

genre(s): angst; drama

fandom: miraculous ladybug

rating: g・t・r

rated t for language, violence

word count: 1.9k

warning(s): blood mention

chapter two || chapter 3

“…Bystanders have not been hurt, although Paris’ superheroes have not made an appearance yet…”

There was unrest among the students of Francoise Dupont High School as Adrien listened to his friends talk quietly amongst one another. Thunder rumbled in the distance as heavy, chilling rain poured down from the skies. There was a gloomy eeriness that clung to the air, a quiet that made the high schoolers feel like they were just waiting for something to shatter the silence. Grey clouds were collecting, casting the city in shadow-like darkness.

Another Akuma attack had been reported yet again. The Parisian superheroes were more than glad to help out, but it was obvious they were tiring: their moves became sloppier, their conversations shorter, and their patience thinner.

Adrien listened to the chatter exchanged between Alya and Nino, while Marinette remained quiet. She looked tired, which really wasn’t that uncommon, but her fatigue seemed to spill into all of her activities. She had less “pep in her step,” as Alya had said, and her eyes weren’t nearly as bright as they used to be. Not that he meant to pay attention to such things, of course, but it was hard to not notice. Even Chloe, who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone but herself, had laid off on the harassment. Adrien chalked up his attentiveness to Marinette as nothing more than being a good, concerned friend, but as of late that excuse was becoming harder to sell, even to himself.

It started about four months ago when they came back from summer break. Everyone had gone back to school and while Adrien was physically there, he was mentally absent. Kagami had just gone abroad for school again after they’d broken things off. He would have liked to say it was a mutual breakup, but she was the one who brought it up. Kagami was wise beyond her years so when she told him that his heart wasn’t in the relationship, he knew she was right. He expected his first heartbreak to be gut-wrenching, but it wasn’t. He felt sad, sure, but not in the way that leaves you paralyzed in bed for weeks on end. At the time, he wondered why that was, but the answer was obvious: Marinette.

When he got to school, it was almost as if she could see the gloomy cloud over his head. She was there for him when no one else seemed to notice, her stuttering and fumbling hardly present in their conversation. In the beginning, he felt almost guilty for confiding in her. It would’ve been ignorant of him to believe she didn’t have problems of her own (who didn’t?), but it was a fact known by many that Marinette Dupain-Chang was one to do whatever she could to help the people she cared for.

It was then that he noticed it: the butterflies. It was like a tsunami of anxiety, excitement, and shyness all rolled into one whenever she did anything: the way her hair moved in the breeze, her clear laugh that dared him to smile, but most of all, her kindness. Marinette was one of those people that you couldn’t hate. She was that person who helped others even when no one was looking. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t help himself when he started falling for her every move.

She didn’t know, probably never would, but she had him whipped.

The blonde was snapped back into reality when his best friend nudged him: “You coming?” Nino’s brow arched in question.

He looked across the street, where his bodyguard was waiting for him, standing by the driver’s side door of the sleek black Audi. Though it’s been the same car since Adrien was like thirteen, it still looked brand new.

“I forgot my homework,” he said to Nino, calling out to his bodyguard to repeat the same thing. With a barely discernible nod of approval from the bodyguard, Adrien turned back toward the school doors.

Adrien grumbled as he jogged away from his friend group: “Well, Nadia, Paris’ superheroes happen to have vaguely normal lives too if you weren’t aware.”

Plagg floated up from Adrien’s pant pocket and did circles around his owner’s head. “You put too much faith in humans, they don’t think about that kinda stuff. To them, you and Ladybug are untouchable.”

“Yeah, well we’re not,” he mumbled frustratedly. He pressed his palms into his eyes tiredly and took a deep breath before dropping his arms back down to his sides.

“Plagg claws out,” he muttered.

Plagg liked to think he knew his miraculous holder quite well. Despite the kwami’s demeanour and seeming distaste toward anything non-cheese related, he did have feelings. Yes, he loved cheese, but he also loved Adrien. He had spent the last two years with Adrien, and he knew something was terribly wrong with his owner.

He’d ask later. The cat-like kwami entered the ring miraculous, and with that, Adrien Agreste was gone, replaced by Chat Noir.

The leather-clad hero headed toward the disaster zone, the rain not doing anything to help his vision. He landed on a rooftop near the Akuma attack and swiftly surveyed the scene. Upon not seeing Ladybug anywhere, Chat Noir sent a quick message to Ladybug, highlighting the damage, before swooping in to hold off the Akuma.

xXx

To put it simply, Marinette was struggling. It had been the fifth Akuma attack that week and after two years of being Ladybug, her excuses were becoming weaker and weaker as time went on. Adrien’s abrupt exit was odd, but she didn’t have time to think about it as she felt the ground shake slightly. It didn’t matter how exhausted she was, she couldn’t put off her duties any longer.

“I uhm, I forgot I had a question for Miss Bustier. I’m going to go see if she’s still around and I’ll uh just stay here until Ladybug and Chat Noir get everything taken care of!” she flashed her friends a thumbs up and with that, she ran back inside the school, toward the locker room. She opened her tiny purse in order for Tikki to emerge. “This is bullshit,” she muttered to herself.

Tikki gasped in shock. “Marinette!”

“Sorry,” she mumbled half-heartedly, “You wouldn’t happen to care if I maybe just happened to not show up and let Chat handle it?”

The glare that the small kwami sent her way told her otherwise. “Something about this one tells me that you’ll need all the help you can get,” she told her owner.

Her stomach twisted with anxiety, both confusion and shock washing over her face. Tikki had never talked about the dangers of an Akuma before, which alarmed Marinette. Shit.

“Tikki, spots on.”

Ladybug swung with all her might as her trusty yoyo grabbed onto buildings and chimneys, the sounds of destruction nearing. A black blur, undoubtedly Chat, streaked the cloudy, grey sky as an akumatized villain screeched out. Her eyes skimmed over the cobblestone streets in front of her, but nothing could prepare her for the screams of terror and bloodied civilians that scattered the scene below.

Her feet had only touched down on the ground for a second when she heard him.

“Nice of you to drop in,” Chat purred, startling her. “You’re late,” he added, his voice icier than expected.

“Cry about it,” Ladybug responded coldly.

“Meowch m’lady,” he said in mock hurt.

“Sorry,” she muttered to her partner as she took him in. His blonde silky hair was plastered to his head from the pouring rain, the droplets permeating the black leather. If the suit wasn’t skin-tight before, it certainly was now. She had to tear her eyes away from the sight of him, her sensibility screaming at her to focus while her eyes wanted nothing more than to drink in every inch of him.

Literally what the fuck, she said to herself. Now was no time to pine for her partner.

The Akuma that stood before her was physically underwhelming in stature, but her clothing made up for it. The girl in front of them held herself at around 5’3 and couldn’t be more than 18, but her wicked smirk sent a chill through her spine. The girl was clad in an array of green from forest, sage, to mossy shades, the dress that adorned her body looking like that straight from greek mythology. It was made up of grand silks, almost entrancing Ladybug and Chat with the way that the fabric moved like rippling water. It was ethereal, really, but the closer she looked at it the deadlier it became.

From around the waist and shoulders, long strips of silk floated behind her like the snakes on the head of Medusa. They almost seemed to bend to her will, the fabric defying gravity. Not only were pieces of the dress floating, but so was her long dark hair. In her hand was a staff made from tree trunk like material. Resting atop her head was an obsidian black crown with spikes the length of Ladybug’s hand.

After looking around at the already distraught state of the street, their evaluation was over: she was not going to be another walk in the park.

“Shit,” Chat breathed out. It was at that moment that the villain opened her mouth to address both the heroes and bystanders.

“Citizens of Paris, I am Gi Mágissa. I am not here to compromise with your heroes. Others in the past have failed to retrieve what Hawk Moth desires, but I will not: today will be the day that you remember as the fall of Ladybug and Chat Noir.” Her voice resonated as if it was echoing off the walls. She shifted her gaze to the left, her eyes locking with the two of them.

“Give me your miraculous and I may decide to spare you and your city,” she said in a dangerously low voice. Her voice was smooth, yet it cut right through the two partners like a freezing wind in the dead of winter. Under any other circumstances, her words would be humorous, cheesy even, but this was not like anything else they faced.

Chat laughed as his trademarked smirk appeared. “Funny, because I don’t remember agreeing to that,” he said in mock thoughtfulness, almost like he was trying to recall a memory.

“Chat,” Ladybug hissed, “I’m starting to get the feeling that you won’t be able to joke your way out of this one,”

“C’mon m’lady, live a little.”

“Yeah, well I might not be alive to do so if you keep being an idiot.” Ladybug could feel the frustration rising in her as Chat continued to appear so casual and relaxed. How could he not sense that this was so much worse than before?

Chat turned to her and she could finally see his eyes. Despite his outward appearance, she saw the nervousness in his gaze. There was almost a buzz in the air, a metallic smell that made them wrinkle their noses: blood, iron maybe.

“Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

[angstysebfan]

If You Love Me, Why Did You Hurt Me? 5/10

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Other Avengers Mentioned: Nat, Wanda, Steve, Sam Warnings: cursing

Summary: You dated Bucky for 5 wonderful years! You thought he was the one! Then, without reason, he ends your relationship, and gets a new girlfriend 2 days later! While you are both Avengers, you still have to see him, and his girlfriend.

Series Masterlist

You head down to the common room the next morning to grab some breakfast before your appointment. Natasha and Wanda are both sitting there eating their cereal when you walk in. You make a B-line straight for the coffee.

“Morning” you say tiredly. You didn’t have the best sleep last night, but it was better than it was before. Progress.

“Morning!” Wanda says excitedly. “What are you up to today?”

You finish making your coffee, grab a banana from the basket on the counter and sit at the table with both women. You shrug, “I have my re-evaluation with the psychiatrist this morning. Hopefully I will be cleared to go back on missions. Then, I’m not sure. I might hang out with Aaron.”

Natasha looks at Wanda, then you. “Well, we were thinking, since it’s been way too long since the last one, that we might do a girls day/night.” You look at both women and smile.

“That actually sounds amazing. I have missed you both so much.”

“Yay! Okay, we will be ready to go when you come back from your appointment.” Wanda says excitedly. You can’t help but smile. 

“You nervous?” Natasha asks. You look at her, shrug, then slowly nod.

“Kinda. I mean I think I’ve improved, but am I good enough to return to work? I don’t know what I will do if I can’t go back on missions.”

Before Natasha can say anything, Steve walks into the room.

“Morning ladies.” You all waved to him. “Y/N, did you want a ride to your appointment?”

“That would be great Steve. Thank you!” You say with a smile.

“Great. I’ll pull the car around and meet you up front.” He says, before turning on his heels and leaving toward the elevator. You take one last sip of your coffee, throw your banana peel in the garbage and wave to the girls.

“Wish me luck!” You say as you walk toward the elevator.

You sit in the front seat, of the car, picking at your finger nails, letting the nerves get worse and worse. Suddenly, a hand comes on top of yours.

“No reason to be nervous. Even if you are not cleared right now, you will be soon. You’ve made such progress Y/N. I am so proud of you.” You look up at Steve, who is keeping his eyes on the road. You give a soft smile, “Thanks Cap.”

2 hours later, you and Steve are walking back into the compound. Nat rushes over. “So? What did she say?”

You shrug and give a little smirk,”I am cleared for recon missions only. She doesn’t want me on any high activity missions, and no solo missions. I will get re-evaluated in another 2 months.”

Nat squealed and hugged you tightly. “I’m so happy for you. This is huge! We have so much to celebrate today! Let’s go get Wanda and start our ladies day!” Nat grabbed your hand and dragged you towards Wanda’s room. Steve looked on and smiled. 

“Hey man.” Steve walked into the kitchen, where Bucky was sitting eating a protein bar. Bucky looked up at Steve.

“Hey, how did it go?” Steve could see the anxiety in Bucky’s face. He knew Bucky blamed himself for your condition. Steve smiled.

“She got cleared for small recon missions only. It’s a step in the right direction. She seemed pleased with it.” Bucky silently nodded. 

“Good, I’m happy for her. Sounds like she is getting her life back together.” Bucky looked down, feeling guilty about everything that happened. “Where.. ahem... where is she now?”

Steve walked over to Bucky. “She is with the girls. They said something about a ladies day, or something.” Bucky nodded again. He gets up and starts leaving the kitchen.

“I’m going to head to the training room. You want to spar later?” He stops and looks at Steve. Steve smiles, “See you in a few.” Bucky nods again and heads toward the elevator.

Later that night, after a full spa day, drinks at the bar, and dinner; you, Wanda, and Nat settle in your room with junk food and hot chocolate.

“So, we have avoided the subject all day, but I have to ask, what’s going through your head about Bucky?” Nat asked, sincerely. Wanda smacked her foot.

You chuckled, “No, its okay. I know I have avoided the subject of him for awhile, but I feel like I can talk about it now.” You took a deep breath. “Honestly, I still love him, a lot. I just don’t understand what happened. I mean he made love to me that morning and told me that I was all he wanted. What happened in a few short hours that could turn that around. He was so cold toward me. It hurt so much when he brought Brittney in as his girlfriend only 2 days later. Like the last 5 years meant nothing to him!”

You take a deep breath. “Then when I go to get help, he tells me he still loves me. I thought about that every day, while I was in rehab. A part of me was happy he still loves me. But I just don’t know if I could trust him again.”

You look down trying to fight the tears that were threatening your eyes. Then you sniffed and shook your head. “Then I met Aaron. He was so understanding about my issues, and was a great shoulder to cry on, while at the center. I like him. I don’t know what will happen, but for now, I’m happy.”

Wanda gave you a side hug. “Well I hope everything works out for you and Aaron, if that is what you want.” You looked at her and Nat. You noticed Nat had an unreadable expression on her face, but you ignored it for now.

“What happened with Bucky ad Brittney?” You asked, hoping for a little juicy gossip. Nat looked at Wanda, then back at you. Wanda cleared her throat.

“When you left, he kinda lost it. He stayed in his room for 3 days straight, just crying. Saying he couldn’t believe what he did to you. Apparently Brittney didn’t like that he wasn’t answering her calls or texts and came over to confront him. When she found out he was upset over you, she flipped out. They fought for awhile, but he basically kicked her out and told her never to come back.”

You looked at Wanda in complete shock. You can’t believe that Bucky would react that way to you leaving. Then to break up with his girlfriend over it. Those stupid butterflies started again, but you ignored them.

“Wow, I honestly don’t know what to say.” Suddenly your phone started vibrating. You saw it was Aaron. You put 1 finger in the air to the girls and answered the phone.

“Hey Aaron!”

“Hey babe. How are you? How was your ladies day? Miss me yet?”

You laughed quietly. “I’m doing okay, tired after a great ladies day with my girls. Thank you for understanding I needed a day with them. But yes, I did miss you, a little.”

What shocked you, was when you said “a little”. You realized you really only missed him a little. Not like when you dated Bucky. You hated to be away from him for even 10 minutes. You shake those thoughts from your head quickly.

“I missed you too babe! And of course I would let you have a day with your girls. You deserve to spend time with your friends. However, I am kidnapping you tomorrow. I can’t go 2 days without seeing your beautiful face.”

You blushed at his words, willing those butterflies to come, but they didn’t. “Oh, yea I’m free tomorrow. Call me in the morning.”

“Okay, well I miss you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well baby.”

“Uh... yea, you too. Bye Aaron.”

You hung up the phone and turned towards the girls. Wanda pretended to be interested in the tray of cookies, but Nat just looked at you with a knowing look. You knew you were going to be having a one-on-one conversation with her soon.

You volunteered to go to the kitchen and get more hot chocolate for the group. As you walked down the hall, you hear 2 male voices from the common room.

“I’m telling you man, you need to give her space before you try to win her back. You hurt her, badly. Hell, you are lucky she even notices your existence.” You heard Sam say.

“I know. I know. But it’s killing me, Sam. I miss her so much. I want to give her space, but...” you hear Bucky sniff. “But I am scared that if I don’t try, I will never get her back. I fucked up, big time. I was just scared she was going to leave me when she found out that not only was I opening flirting with Brittney that whole week, but I let her kiss me, twice!”

You quickly turned and ran back towards your room. You didn’t want to hear anything else. As you went to your door, tears running down your face, you realize Nat and Wanda are still in your room. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts. You walk past your room and head toward the emergency stairs. 

Once you are alone, you release the sob you were holding in. You sit on the staircase with your head in your hands, trying to stay as quiet as you can while you cry.

Now you know why he broke up with you. He started an emotional relationship with someone else. He didn’t love you like you thought! How could you be so stupid to not realize this?

You take a deep breath, trying to calm down. After a few minutes, you replay the conversation you overheard. He was scared I was going to leave him? Why would he care if he liked Brittney? He wants to win me back? Why? Did he realize Brittney didn’t love him as much as I did?

You were so confused. A part of you wanted to talk with Bucky and get answers. The other part wanted to cut him out of your life forever. You didn’t know what to do. After a few minutes you fish out your cell phone and quickly type out a text. 

“Hey Aaron, can I stay with you tonight?”

“Absolutely baby! I’m so excited!”

______________________________________________________________

Chapter 4   Chapter 6

Oh man! I started getting really excited writing this chapter. I’m thinking of getting to 10 chapters or so. Anyway, let me know what you think!

[werevulvi]

Hi, could you tell me more about your autism and diagnosis and how you deal with it, how old you were diagnosed

I don't know a lot about my autism, tbh, as I never bothered to read up on it and I was never properly informed on it. But what I do know is that I learned slowly as a kid, learned to walk at age 3, was very clumsy (like medically abnormally clumsy physically, could barely run at all and couldn't climb, etc) required special treatment to learn how to eat as a toddler because I hated the sensory experience of solid food and chewing, I was incapable of understanding sarcasm, interpreted everything literally, I was stimming a lot, had monotone body language and speech, etc. I was very obviously "different" according to my parents already from around age 1 or 2, and required literally constant attention for the first 4 years of my life. Started daycare at age 4, in small groups.

Then as I started school at age 6, apparently the school nurse had told my parents that I'm probably autistic, so I consider that my "inofficial diagnosis" but they decided to ignore that and didn't tell me (until 10 years later.) I was bullied in school for being "the weird kid" by both classmates and teachers who thought I was a retard and annoying, basically, I guess. I was called a freak and weirdo a lot. But like I was proudly a weirdo, and resented normativity.

As I got up into ages 10-12 my depression and DID symptoms (alter) kinda took over and became more prominent than my autism symptoms, as I wasn't as physically clumsy anymore and started learning social cues. My mental health continued to decline over the next few years, until I sought out therapy on my own at age 16. It led me to doing my first few suicide attempts, which led me to ending up at a closed psychiatric ward.

While staying there for a few weeks, I got evaluated for autism (without knowing that's what I was tested for) as well as a few physical things, such as my hearing impairment and chronic headache. And those tests led to an official Asperger Syndrome diagnosis, when I was 16, by the very end of year 2005. I also got diagnosed with borderline psychosis and mild depression, and got pumped full of anti-depressants and anti-psychotic (neuroleptic) drugs. Then my mom finally told me that she basically always knew about my autism, and I was really pissed at her for not having told me before. I resented my autism diagnosis right from the start, and the older I got, the more I resented it. Never identified with it, only ever saw it as a huge burden.

Then throughout the rest of my teens, I went to a school for neurodivergent people (basically upper high school) but still flunked it. I was a complete and utter mess, and got little to no actual therapy. They just kept shoving me around from one psychiatric department to another, due to my comorbid issues, no one could help me, it seemed. Every once in a while I'd make another half assed suicide attempt to make them take me seriously, which only worked for a few months at a time. In total, I've made 19 suicide attemps over 12 years. Oh lord, psychiatry was so bad!

Adulthood came along and I got benefitted with sickness compensation, and got my first apartment at age 20. It didn't go great. I accidentally flooded it and had to move out, and didn't manage to keep it clean or anything while I lived there. I was barely functional and alcoholic, constantly self-harming, just to try to manage attending school. Despite getting help from caretakers offered by the state (?) weekly, I was really dysfunctional. I switched apartments several times, and kept flunking school while trying to live my miserable life, always hanging by a thread. Until I moved back to my parents at age 23. They had moved to a miserable island far away from all my friends. Got an apartment on that island close to my parents, but my issues continued being the same level of awful, up until about age 27.

What this has to do with my autism is that... uh, I basically understand it as that it impedes on my executive function really dramatically, and like although I can physically do pretty much anything, mentally I just somehow can't. Especially repeatedly, and often enough. Like I can't keep any routine for the life of me, not even simple shit like sleep cycle, eating habits, brushing my teeth, etc. Let alone school or a job, or even hobbies. Everything is infrequent and too seldom, if at all. So everything in my life keeps falling apart as I basically have no foundation to stand on, and I get sensory overload suuuuper easily. So like just going shopping/cleaning/laundry/hobbies/school/anything for half an hour can drain me significantly and make me incapable of managing doing anything else for the rest of that entire day. It's very hard for me to explain, but it's like I only ever have 3 spoons per day, but most things requitre 10+ spoons, so I go backwards on my energy resources a lot and end up having to rest for DAYS after just one hour's activity.

At age 27 I ditched the social service caretakers, as they were seriously depriving me of my privacy while being largely unhelpful, and I began to finally try to pull myself together. I still get a lot of help from my mom, with anything from paying my bills and grocery shopping, to driving me places and dealing with soul-sucking authorities for me. This takes off a lot of the burden and allows me to manage doing at least a few things on my own, like working out, cleaning (yay I manage keeping my apartment clean nowadays!), laundry, occasional shopping, art projects, online socialising, etc. I still go to therapy biweekly but it's still largely unhelpful. At least I managed to make them stop tossing me around between departments like a football though, and I'm still gonna try to get some proper trauma therapy, and maybe also look into that adhd group I was promised last year, if it'll ever resume again post-corona...

I've still never had a job in my life and still have incomplete grades. But I got permanent sickness compensation now, so that's neat. At least I don't have to worry financially. I'm also trying to get started with some "work training" stuff which is basically "pretend work" for people who can't work, just to have something to do. I'll most likely be granted acces to that. However, it seems irony is that most of those are located out in the middle of nowhere where no buses go, and I can't afford a fucking car or driver's licence because I can't work. Mom probably won't drive me several times a week for that. Fucking fantastic. Makes me almost wanna kill someone... argh! Those little things really piss me off.

Life is absolutely not going the way I want and I blame my autism for it, mostly. I am drowning in frustration, and my anger issues making me scream my lungs out in pure despair, shows that. I'm considered offically disabled due to my autism, and it just fucking sucks ass. How lonely, under-stimulated yet easily over-stimulated, bored, meaningless and unfulfilled my life is. There are far more severely autistic people out there who somehow manage to live far more functional lives, and I'm jealous of that. I dunno how to break free from this misery. It feels like the only thing I've ever managed to accomplish in life is transitioning genders, and making art that I don't wanna sell. I wanna have a "normal" job, a car and driver's licence, I wanna have cats and a social life, I want parties at night clubs again, I want hobbies outside of my home; hookups, friends and lovers; I want to be able to have a functional romantic life with someone I can marry and start a family with.

But is any of that ever gonna happen? I hope so, but it feels bleak. Because my autism feels like such a huge burden on my life, and a huge hindrence to my dreams and goals... like I'm over 30 already and still a disabled and having my mom living half my life for me, miserable mess and not given any useful therapy, I'm left to my own vices to figure out how to adult... Because of all that, I hate my autism and I wish there was a cure, I swear to fuck. So for your question, how I deal with it: not fantastically. Not sure if you wanted a relay of my entire life, but I hope that’s okay! Didn’t know how else to answer your questions.

[drowninginblox]

Thrown into it(3)

Part 3- I don’t think I am

Hamilton- the musical- enforced in me many lessons. Many of which I took to heart. One of them being that every action comes with an equal, opposite reaction. I guess that's why once Nighteye was done evaluating my life, he ordered the police to escort me to the nearest government facility. Bastard must’ve seen all the shit I’ve done to his not so biological son- Mirio- and his friend. Lowkey don’t regret it though. Tumblr fanfics are the shit.

The ride there was awkward to say the least. Not because of the quiet, I did my best to stir up some conversation and light up the bleak situation. I mean yeah, there were only two officers and a pro hero in this van with me, not much to do anyways. I The pro was more interested in what was going on outside than me while the officers where stone cold. I was expecting that from Rock Lock but c'mon not all the side characters had to be dead inside like Tokoyami. 

“Hey um.. You guys like Jazz?”  I asked. I couldn't tell if the cops even glanced at me because of their visors but I kept going. “Back home a lot of people would laugh at that.. or just cringe now that I think about it.” I glance out the tinted windows. Apparently where I was being held was in the dense city. Which one I didn't know. Now we were somewhere into the country since there were more trees than people. “I don't think you guys are allowed to tell me where I'm going, but can I ask you if there is good food there?” I glance back to see one of the men smirk for a moment. At least where I'm going isn’t all deprived of humanity. “Hopefully they have KFC there.” I added while glancing back at them. No response.

My thoughts washed over me after that. First thinking about the little things like how the car was just warm enough, then to outside, but then all plummeted when I saw the sun. It's so bright, kind of like Mirio’s smile. Wait- Mirio- what would happen to him? Is he’s gonna lose his quirk still? No. No that can't happen! I refuse to let that happen! I mean Eri is cute but no way in hell is he gonna be a glorified babysitter, waiting in the wings until the plot calls him forward. I gotta do something! I can't just sit and watch his life be torn apart! “Hey, kid? You alright?” one of the officers asks from the front of the vehicle. I blink in surprise. Huh, why are my eyes watering? “You were crying. I just wanted to know if you were still with us.” I hesitate before feeling my cheek. Damn these handcuffs. They were right, it was damp and my cheeks felt a little hot. “Mfine, I just need to talk to Sir Nighteye.” From the corner of my eye Rock Lock glances at me. “Why?” he inquired at my request. My hands shook a little out of intimidation. Man this guy had one hell of a stare. I gulped before catching myself. I couldn’t just outright say what was gonna happen but at the same time i cant just let too many people get hurt! “L-look- it’s complicated. And even so, I don't think you’d believe me.” From his seat he scoffed out “Try me kid. I heard a lot and saw more.” I glanced ahead at the guys in the front seat. The one driving seemed to have his eyes glued to the route we were taking while the other was looking through the rear view mirror. A sigh escaped me. Fine lets see how much crazy this guy has seen. “You wont believe me but, this is all a manga- where I’m from that is.” The guy looking back at us cracked a smirk and shook his head slightly. From the corner of my eye, Rock Lock held his forehead in his right hand in an exasperated fashion. “Why do I get the crazy ones?” He mumbled under his breath. I don't even try to argue. My head slowly fell, my hair getting into my face while my vision grew cloudy. “I told you so. Noone will believe me.” While time passed tears fell. I still couldn’t grasp it. I didn't bother to scream or cry out for help since it would only hurt me in the long run. Thoughts of my family ran through my head. Smiles, tears, laughs, hugs, smells, and plenty more things I will never experience again hit me. Each time I would scrunch into myself more and more. “I’ll never see my family again..” I mumbled. 

“What do you mean?” I hear the pro ask. “What is there to explain? I will never see my family again. They don't live in the 22nd century it they somehow existed. Was it the 22nd? There is so much to know about this universe. It kinda gets jumbled together after a while..” I looked down at the floor of the car for a bit when it suddenly stopped. “We’re here.” One of the guys stated, a moment later the door on my side opens. I look to see Nighteye and Mirio accompanied by many swattmen. “Come with us.” The older of the two ordered. I look back at Rock Lock before I turned back to the pair. Mirio held his hand out for me to take. As scared as I was for what was coming, I took it. 

Automatically a warmth overcame me kind of like entering a cabin after trekking through a snowstorm. “Will you guys hurt me?” I asked while Mirio helped me down. “Not unless we’re forced to.” Night eye confessed. “But seeing as you don't know fully what's going on, I don't think that will be necessary.” I nod. Looking back on it i should’ve been offended but that wouldn’t have helped my situation. Through his response my gaze couldn't be removed from Mirio. The same could be said for him on me too. I can't explain why but I had the sudden urge to look him over to make sure he was okay. And once that was done I was glued to his eyes. They’re so simplistic why was I staring at them? Can't for the life of me tell you why he was staring at me though. This thick chick cant get the attention of no guy unless they wanted to judge me. “Excuse me?” A short, bald, man in a lab coat breaks the..moment? Is that the word? Whatever was going on between Mirio and I. “You must be one L/n Y/n if I'm not mistaken?” He asks with a smile. His bushy mustache raises a little. “Thats me..” He reminded me of the doctor in Izuku’s flashback. Was this the guy that was stirring up all that drama in the fandom a few months ago? Something to do with his name right? “Well if you’d follow me, we can perform a physical and psych  evaluation on you before the pro’s ask you a few questions. If you’d follow me?” Glancing back at the crowd of people I nodded and followed, unaware of what will result from this.

[prorevenge]

Gilderoy Lockheart

In my early 20’s, I met a guy (lets call him Gilderoy) through online dating that I had previously known in high school. He was kinda cute, appeared to be a sweet and kind romantic, and took me to a nice restaurant. After a couple of dates, we started getting serious and that’s when the 6 months of relationship hell began.

Gilderoy was a narcissistic asshole, and I was sadly too blind and desperate to see it. From the start he was a compulsive liar, lying about everything under the sun and claiming accomplishments that weren’t his own. Over 6 months he would constantly accuse me of cheating with platonic friends even though I wasn’t (I was a tom boy). He also wouldn’t allow me to be friends with any of my guy friends, pushed me away from my friends and family by constantly manipulating everything they said to make me not trust them, and demanded complete obedience from me even if I didn’t want to comply. This led to Gilderoy making me buy him everything from groceries and cigarettes to CDs and over the counter meds for him to get high off of, racking up a $4,000 bill on my credit card as well as driving him anywhere he needed to go (he didn’t have a car) including to court dates, drug deals, being picked up from jail, and once to a psychological evaluation (he was diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder but refused to take meds or seek treatment). Because he thought I was constantly cheating on him, he also convinced me the only way to win back his trust was to allow him access to my phone history and texts, my email accounts, and all social media accounts so he could always keep tabs on my honesty, though he still constantly accused me of lying.

Our “love life” was far worse. I made Gilderoy use condoms but one night he slipped it off and ejaculated inside of me. I was paranoid of stds and was freaking out but he convinced me he was clean and everything was fine and told me I should “just stop being crazy and paranoid”. The next time we went to have sex, I asked for him to use a condom but he said he didn’t need to cuz “we” didn’t last time. I told him it would still make me feel comfortable, to which he beat me while saying “it would be pointless since he came in me before” and proceeded to have his way with me. From then on, he would demand unprotected sex even if I wasn’t comfortable with it and would even let his roommate(s) watch when I didn’t want them to. I even found him in his roommate’s bed with his roommate one morning when I came by to take him to a court date and the door was open.

It all ended after 6 months when I started to stand up for myself and demand some equality. I confronted Gilderoy one night and told him that if he could have access to my social media, emails, and text messages, I should be allowed access to his. He thought about it for a while and slowly agreed, telling me he would give me the passwords in the morning. 3 days later he finally gave me the passwords and I looked through his emails, most of which had months of emails deleted, but I did find some emails proving he was cheating on me with several different women within the first couple months of our relationship (he couldn’t remember when we started dating), and one of the women had even vandalized my car. I used this as grounds to end our relationship permanently and high tailed it out of there.

The aftermath didn’t get any better. I found out about another woman that he was cheating on me with at the time of the break up who was a decade older than him with children (lets call her Regina). I took the time to write Regina a warning email and listed signs and red flags to look out for, to which she blowed me off saying they were “deeply in love”, “he would never do that”, and that I was “just jealous”. I also found out that he had an STI and after talking to his friends, I found out that he knew about it 3 years prior to me and never got treatment for it. (I got tested and took the antibiotic till I was clean.)

The Revenge:

Around a week or so after the break up, Gilderoy started bragging on facebook that he had accepted a job offer that paid in the nicer part of 5 digits, especially for someone in their early 20’s. I remembered I still had his login info to his email so I logged into his email from a random computer and simply wrote his new boss an email explaining he respectfully found a better position elsewhere and that he would have to decline the position. His new boss replied giving thanks for the notice and I promptly deleted the emails. Gilderoy showed up for work on his first day to being told he was replaced.

After that he proceeded to try and embezzle several thousands of dollars out of my parents through threats of lawsuits, to which he failed cause I was over 18 at the time and not the legal responsibility of my parents. Plus their lawyers found his long list of criminal history that would cause any judge to throw out his case.

Since then, Gilderoy has stalked me for over a decade. He will occasionally try to get in touch through texts, emails, or phone calls. Once he emailed me a couple days after I got married to tell me he got married to Regina that day. Oddly enough, Regina had gotten in touch with me, after Gilderoy sent the email, to ask more about the signs I had warned her about cause she found out Gilderoy was doing drugs around her kid and was beating her too. I told her to take an STD test and leave him.

I also found out that while Gilderoy dated a friend of mine in high school, he tried to choke her to death after she caught him cheating and she savagely bit a hole out of his arm till he let go.

The last time I saw Gilderoy, I ran into him the week before my dog died of cancer. The encounter freaked me out so bad due to the distraught emotional state I was already in, so I confided in my friends about it. Some of them did some digging. He is currently miserable living with his grandmother, his wife divorced him, he has no job, has no car, and has no friends that trust him. He's pretty much alone.

(source) story by (/u/DreamVixenFox)

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h blogging 6 because organizational skills are for losers

oh hey yuri get to join chess club[3:24 PM]balthus DID go to the officers academy twice I’ve been trying to reconcile the route differences... it should be that everything that happens in a different route is also possible in the route you are looking at which ever one that may be. Now all there is is figuring out why those differences exist. or alternately to come up with a probability model to explain those differences. Let’s take the major difference of CF vs VW, AM, and SS. In CF unlike the other routes, Rhea is not captured, she organizes the knights and joins with Faerghus. In CF unlike other routes Byleth chooses to side with Edelgard and Rhea attacks them in the Holy Tomb, this is the only difference. Rhea is incredibly entitled when it comes to Byleth and so takes Byleth’s choice as a deep betrayal as the one who was supposed to be on her side chose not to be. In the battle of Garreg Mach, Rhea then also doesn’t entrust the Church to Byleth. Now how does this connect to Rhea avoiding capture in the battle? It could be she was more on guard after the Holy Tomb in BE, it could be that overall Rhea is likely captured but there is a chance she isn’t. Either way because she isn’t captured, she is there to rally and organize the knight’s of Seiros. In the other routes why didn’t Seteth do it? idk man. The Knights and Faerhgus together are better able to fend off the Empire and with the added security, keep Cornelia, the Agarthans, and Edelgard from framing Dimitri with assassination. Thus in CF Faerghus is in a more unified and powerful position with Rhea running the show. Never quite got why Garreg Mach was abandoned by all the sides given how much the characters talk about its strategic location etc. etc. In SS Rhea degenerates and causes the church to become a rampaging hivemind. Rhea is assumedly also in the palace in AM, but we do meet her in VW. This leads to a few possibilities, either she also dragon degenerated in those routes but the credits roll before we get to see that or she doesn’t. Either way she hold the potential to do so. This is probably the strongest probability argument in the game as we are shown no reason why she does in SS but does not in VW. Rhea is like a ticking time bomb. Maybe they should have blood minstrated like half the church. And then the Agarthans, are they just chilling around underground in AM? yeah, probably. They’re probably back to biding their time just like they have the past 1000 years.

I would like to talk about the three categories by which I evaluate how much I like a character in a series. 1. Personal preference: how much does the character's personality appeal to me on a personal level. Would I want to be friends with this person in real life. Do I just really wish they were real and want them in my life? 2.  Character writing: how well written is the character. How good is their character arc? What is the grade of execution? 3. Role in the story: what do they bring to the series as a whole. If they are a villain, are they a good villain? Comic relief. The Bro character. No matter the archetype, how well is it done. What is their narrative and thematic significance.

Let's look at the 3 Lords of Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Please note that due to the branching story line and the ability of the player to choose the cast, I will not be focusing on a character's role in story as much as I usually do. Edelgard Personal preference: low. Her personality clashes with mine Character writing: high. Three Houses characters in general are well written. Edelgard feels like a person, her behavior is internally consistent, she's always herself. One of her main flaws explored in the game is how Edelgard will tunnel-vision and double down on a decision, a path even when it is no longer the best option. Role: high. In Crimson Flowers and to a lesser extent Silver Snow Edelgard acts as the central character, she drives the story. As the villain in 3/4 routes, Edelgard is incredibly interesting, acting as a counter point to the other Lords as well as to Byleth in Silver Snow.

Dimitri Personal preference: low. At first I didn't care, and then he was just annoying. He was solidly #2 on my to-punch-list in Azure Moon after Gilbert. Character writing: high. Dimitri has the easiest to notice character arc in the game as it is the main focus of Azure Moon. As such the most time is spent on his arc and it is very strong. The journey Dimitri goes on as he struggles with himself and his trauma is well written, its only weakness being that it hinges on the player (me) caring about him (which I do not). Role is the story: medium high. the overarching story of the rightful king reclaiming his throne nicely parallels the story of Dimitri reclaiming himself. Thus the external journey mirrors the internal one. Azure Moon most strongly brings the human element to Three Houses and this is both a strength and a weakness.

Claude Personal preference: very high. I wish I had a Claude in my life. His personality meshes well with mine and my life would be enhanced with the addition of his company. When I say Claude is my favorite, this is the category I am usually talking about. Character writing: high. Claude has the subtlest characterization and character arc of the Lords, this is further obscured due to mischaracterization by the English localization team and English voice actor. The characters in Three Houses in general are brilliant and Claude is no exception. He's complex and multifaceted as any real person is, and seeing him grow in to his own in Verdant Wind is a beautiful thing. Role in story: high. Claude's role in the Three Houses is also very interesting, his objectives especially in White Clouds turns the game into a mystery thriller which is breaking edge for a Fire Emblem Game. Claude's background is also a bit different from the others and so following along his story, you are able to gain perspective and see all of Fodlan for what it really is.

Jeralt personal preference: meh writing: good role: dad

wait. wait. so are the 4 apostles are called saints in the intro, but were they also children of the goddess?  so i can see indech and macuil dipping after the war of heroes and cethalenn went into a regenerative coma so that takes her and cihol out of the picture, but where were the 4 apostles during the war?  and why does balthus' pants have a specially colored patch for his crotch.  ... did balthus go to the academy twice?  dimitri really went “i’d be nice to just sink into the earth you know” huh. i just started cindered shadows so i can't really comment but... the whole "abyss is necessary for garreg mach" is such horse shit. like oooohhhhh we must have an oppressed underclass to maintain our standard of living.  why do the ashen wolves even exist. its not like there's a school down there and yet a bunch of people have uniforms.  its not like they took some of the officer's academy uniforms either. why waste resources making custom uniforms? oh hey yuri get to joisn chess club. balthus DID go to the officers academy twice. I wonder what happened to Constance. Also hello??? Intsys you have a kidnapping and torture as backstory problem, especially when its happening to female characters. Hapi get’s kidnapped, tortured and then imprisoned, no wonder the life has left her eyes. Also I don’t trust this Aelfric dude. He set up the ashen wolves “house”, but wouldn’t those resources be better spent on food and medicine. nepotism ho! your parent were good so you must be too

anyone else find Jeralt and Sitri's relationship a little weird. Hundreds of years old dude romances incredibly sheltered 19 year old with little life experience. and she and alfric idolized Jeralt when they were young. sitri was born in 1139 and died 1159 from childbirth.  I mean yeah Sitri's an adult and totally consenting and loving, and the relationship is pretty cute and sweet, but.... its kinda weird.... Like when you hear about a 30 year old dating a 60 year old, everyone's well into adulthood, they're consenting adults who can do whatever they want,  i have no objections,... but its still kinda weird. WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT THEY DEVS HAD LITERALLY NO REASON TO DO THIS they could have made her any age they wanted to. She could have been 35. but nooooo they didn't do that

the part that bothered me about maneula's writing. Is how the writers talk down on her for having emotions. You see this strongly in the hanneman+manuela paralogue. Where they make her do something impulsive which has negative consequences, which is fair. But then the game punishes her for being too emotional. "being too emotional" now where have i heard that critique before. This is especially in contrast to the game praising hanneman's intellectual rationality. how do i say this... whenever hanneman and manuela argue the game always takes hanneman's side and is overly harsh on manuela.  Oh hanneman is right that she should not have run off after a rumor about the death knight like that, but its the framing of the scene that bothers me.

the way people talk about the abyss reminds me of the goldfish bowl metaphor. the abyss provides sanctuary, but in it thye are also trapped. huh so edelgard doesn’t recognize dimitri. people sure do like aelfric, reminds me of a cult of personality, but it seems so genuine... A great rhea’s golems are back. they talk!! I was just joking about people’s souls being bound in there!!! aelfric is one of the cardinals!!!!! I've been trying to find these dude for months!!!!! you hear these lines going on and on about the cardinals. oh. he’s part of the seiros hivemind then. hey kids. if he’s a cardinal than the church probably already knows. this don’t tell the church stuff sounds like a trap. that letter is suspicious af. yuri clearly wants something, but what is he up to,,,

Yeah.. it really sounds like the 4 apostles were nabateans, but if that were so are constance, hapi, balthus, and yuri really descended from them? the 4 saints bloodlines in adrestia are from those gifted blood by the saints. yet i do believe the 4 apostles fled to different corners of fodlan, what remains in question is only if there in their new homes they gave blood (like rhea did to save jeralt), or actually did have kids.

i cant believe balthus got put on the bus via giant bird. ah so aelfric and yuri are cooperating with the agarthans. thats what they were up to. wow yuri really is fandom claude, i can still hear those idiots complaining that claude wasn’t up to anything and that he didn’t betray byleth. huh so yuri is struggling with split loyalty and the solution he came up with was to help aelfric but give byleth hints. 

constance calling the holy mausoleum a wretch hovel in on par with sylvain calling the dining hall filthy. huh so that was what yuri was planning. wasn’t expecting the double agent ploy.

so this does not take away from aelfric's decisions, but if rhea hadn't been a coward and just buried sitri instead of keeping her is storage where anyone could find her, this never would have happened. who know's maybe aelfric would have still made horrible decisions, but not this one horrible decision.

wait wait wait. rhea, what happened last time you used the chalice to try and resurrect sothis. what beast was created then? wait wait. nemesis dies and sothis’ heat and bones were retrieved in 91. the blood chalice ritual happened in 185. That’s enough time for rhea to have conducted her first experiment implanting the creststone into someone and having them live out their full life.

 prior to cindered shadows i thought claude had 2 given names much like many real world people of dual identity do (multiracial people, chinese americans, japanese americans, etc.), so claude is his name but he also has an almyran name. now though I am leaning towards the idea that claude is a name he took up upon entering fodlan given what he says to balthus at first and the presence of a claudia riegan in the past. from the feast of decadence: where is boramas? and i hope the bit about watching northern swordsmen ripped apart by wild animals at dinner was a play or something. why do books end up in the abyss anyways. why not burn them throughly. rhea certainly knows people have been living down there.  i wonder who built abyss. its older than garreg mach for sure.  real ironic how the blue lions idolize loog when he was an agarthan pawn not unlike edelgard.  rhea's choice contributed to the power imbalance between sreng and duscur compared to faerghus chevalier became village elder and gave everyone blood during wars. half got crests half turned into demonic beasts. that solves that. 1/4 down

i can’t believe aubin almost died in a ditch before yuri’s mom saved them. well that’s one more person with a really long life span

balthus: describing "bashbros" me: its called a life partner. "Balthus became son-in-law to the great commander, Nader" ... what. also why is the balthus yuri pairen ending the only one balthus ends up broke and on the street in. also where's my holst supports. scratch that. WHERE IS HOLST. oh yeah and you all were crying about byleth potentially outliving everyone, well yuri does too

ashen wolves supports that should have happened. Balthus: Manuela. Yuri: Mercedes. Hapi: Ignatz, Petra, Claude. Constance: Lorenz

Also let judith be a playable character. Claude and balthus already have like half a support with her.

why do feel like yuri and sylvain would be a disaster. and disaster in that they'd hurt each other's feelings

claude whenever balthus opens his mouth: shut up shut up shut up. shut up and go away. goddess. please. no. i enjoy seeing claude annoyed more than i probably should

me taking the fe3h developers by the shoulders and shaking them furiously: WHY DON'T CLAUDE AND HAPI GET A SUPPORT. THEY EVEN BOTH HAVE CELESTIAL MOTIFS!  claude would also empathize with hapi as an outsider of sorts, as well as both sharing a desire to explore the world.  i think the riegan crest and timotheus crest got mixed up in development. in tarot readings the moon is associated with darkness, an unclear mind, madness, creativity etc. it suits "dark dragon" far more than "star dragon". but that doesn't explain why claude gets the unique combat art Fallen Star me one again taking the fe3h developers by the shoulders and shaking them furiously: WHY DON'T YURI AND ASHE HAVE A SUPPORT!! THE APPARENTLY ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER. THEY HAVE SIMILAR BACKGROUNDS. THEY'RE BOTH FROM FAERGHUS. THEIR BATTLE DIALOG SAYS MEANS THEY WANT TO BE FRIENDS

No bathus/manuela support either LET THEM MAKE POOR LIFE CHOICES TOGETHER. Balthus can have a little milf, as treat

...  yuri is very pretty in part 2

Edelgards biggest flaws are her desire for control and her stubborness or the way she will double down on a decision and refuse to budge. Claude's biggest flaws are his inability to trust, and showing his hand too late. A bit more on that last part. A large part of Claude's strategies involve downplaying his side and biding his time. This strategy is especially weak though to an aggressive opponent like Edelgard who can bulldoze him before he has time to play out his plan. Part of the problem is that Claude is very reactive but not very proactive (its one of the reasons I like pairing him with Edelgard and Petra). He won't just go for something the way Edelgard does, he's wait for the right opportunity. This difference you can also see in how the deal with the Church. Edelgard declares war on them because she thinks they are the root of Fodlan's social problems and need to be taken down. She makes a decision she believes in and readies herself for the consequences. Claude actually believes much of the same (The Church is the root of Fodlan's problems) but would much rather avoid those consequences (fall out with the Church). You see in Verdant Wind he will make use of the Church because the are useful. He's even willing to spout Church rhetoric and propaganda (Byleth as a Church symbol) if it suits his end goal of transferring power to an individual who will shape Fodlan's future to his liking (he does have an altruistic and humanitarian goal much like Edelgard). However in doing so he risks empowering the Church even more. In short Claude will put up a facade that he doesn't agree with on an ideals level and so is always in danger of that facade becoming real and failing his goals. yeah so claude character development has him learning to trust and being more proactive in his goals. so i like pairing him with characters that put him on a similar growth trajectory

wait how are the Fetters of Dromi (Aubin) and Vajra-Mushi (Chevalier) around simultaneously with Aubin and Chevalier. Aubin was last seen 20 years ago and the tales of elder giving blood don’t seem ancient, so were they recently killed?

ok if the vajra-mushi is a replica, what’s it a replica of? that implies an original. and its still able to turn people into demonic beasts. how????

unpopular opinion: I hate seteth. his face pisses me off and every time he opens his mouth I want to punch him. please die.

You know... i'd expected someone to have written a modern au of felix and sylvain being roommates with unresolved sexual tension.... but no its been 9 months and I haven't seen anything. Oh I've seen roommates where its like the new and uncomfortable experience of sharing space with someone you dont know and I've seen modern au where they are childhood friends. But i seriously have not seen the specific scenario where they are childhood friends AND roommates. Like... uuugh its just sylvain. But also uuggh its just sylvain?!? Maybe I'll just have to do it myself... but im no good at writing... 

What if glenn was 160cm but the kids never noticed (except sylvain) because they're so much younger

I want a spin off fighting game starring ferdinand and caspar. Honestly i just wanted to see ferdinand get into a fistfight with someone like in his support

On a fandom level I think the golden deer are the least popular for a number of reasons:

1. some of the characters only reveal their depth in supports and paralogues. Or in other words you must seek out these character to get to know them. Ex: Lorenz, Leonie, Ignatz. I mean without doing their supports you'd never know that Ignatz is the smoothest out of the Golden Deer the the most likely to get a date. If Sylvain is a poser, Ignatz is the real deal 2. Related to the above the writing sometimes relies too heavily on a character gimmick. Ex: Raphael, and Lysithea to a degree 3. Compared to other houses there are less established dynamics. Other characters (Linhardt and Caspar, BL childhood friend squad, etc.) can play off of each other and this can make them more emotionally accessible to a player. In the beginning especially the golden deer act more like co-workers than friends, they are the least cohesive as a house (which means their growth is that much more delicious). 4. the golden deer route in general is less popular and some characters don't appear in other routes so the sheer amount of exposure these characters get is less than other houses. a lot of people in the "fandom" have only played one or 2 routes and those usually include either azure moon or crimson flower/silver snow. people will also just delete or add things to characters.

OK Jp audio thoughts: tiny grandma sothis Alois is gravelier and yells a lot  I've been replaying the line where claude giggles in the jp audiio. How do i record audio ignatz is such a BABY in the japanese version. Like a small bunny Edelgard sounds more princessy Claude is more light hearted, less sassy more... boyish? like that one old school boy character trope that used to be a main character thing and is now more a side character thing eng dimitri more yell-y and feral.  jp dimitri is a lot more subdued and dead inside. but the delivery of the lines makes what he is saying all the more disturbing. dissonant serenity.

your path lies across my grave is such a raw line

Why did yuri get a different part 2 sprite.  he should age the same rate jeralt did. And in his paired ending with byleth? He apparently looks about the same after decades

Hilda and catherine would be EXCELLENT war masters if the devs weren't sexist

So almyra's big. We don't know how big. Fodlan is 2/3 of europe and almyra is bigger so i imagine there's a diverdity of biomes. I imagine the south coast is mediterranian. But that hinges on how subtropical adrestia is. Medditerranian climates are most common at 30-40 lattitude. The map of almyra we can see on the map is the same lattitude as faerhgus. This could be the greenest part of Almyra. I imagine almyra has both hot and cold deserts with a large plain covering the center. The rest would be scrubland/chaperral. All we know is that claude grew up somewhere with no big trees. I imagine that almyran government is more meriocratic than fodlan but that may vary region to region. I have an idea for both a centralized and decentralized almyra. Each regions leader is like the strongest most organized person around. A bit of nepotism may be involved. The exception would be the coast region which is more sedentary (some parts of almyra are semi nomadic) and may have a republic. Decentralized almyra would work kinda like the eu or us with seperate nations and a mediator for when almyra needs to act as a whole. That mediator aids negotions between regions and keeps things together. Mediator would be a council/appointed position. In a centralized almyra there still wouldn't be a monarachy. The king would choose a sucessor. So the king's kid would have a better chance than anyone but its no garuntee. I like the idea that like the 30 closeat relatives has a last one standing system as part of the selection system. This would allow for a dynastic style if ruling where there's a ruling clan but not direct line of descent 

Everyone keeps drawing older felix with long hair but I'm half convinced that 3 years post game he just lops,it off one day or gets a buzzcut

So a lot of people including me have long suspected Claude had an Almyran name and the validation right now just feels so great. Khalid!  Given his dialog in cindered shadows I think its more likely Khalid is the name his parents gave him and Claude is the name he took up upon coming to Fodlan

Things have never been easy for Claude, he says in his s support that he's going, to do it (the whole game/war) all over again. It's heavily implied that things to not end well for Claude outside of VW. i don't think the Almyrans would value a surrender to a fodlander tho. Claude in VW proves his competence as a military commander and leader by controlling all of fodlan. Its stated in some of his paired endings that the current king has some say in who the next king is as Claude had to earn his father's approval to ascend the throne. Don't forget that the general Almyran populace hates Claude. He has to prove himself by their standards before any respect is given and in SS/CF/AM he doesn't do that. Remember that the Fodland stereotype is of cowards and that Almyra values spectacles of strength/fighting prowess over tactical efficiency (invading fodlan's throat isn't for the purpose of gaining land/etc. its for the warriors to show off how strong they are), so they wouldn't value strategically weakening your nation (leicester) to stave off imperial invasion, to them that just looks like cowardice and incompetance. not only that he endangered and wasted Almyran soldiers in fighting a foreign war. Remember that no one really knows about Claude's plans outside of VW, he keeps his cards (too) close to his chest, and in non-VW routes the facade of weakness becomes a reality and all his schemes crumble. and he has little to show for his time in fodlan. Claude is less likely to experience character growth outside of VW, but I think there is potential for Claude's character growth outside of VW. One reason for this I'm just not a fan of Byleth's dating sim powers where everyone just falls head over heels for them. For every character and especially the lords, Byleth acts as a catalyst for the character's growth, but Claude (of the lords) is the least dependent on Byleth so I do believe he could have found some of the connections seen in VW if not to that extent. (also I'm a sucker for found family)[4:22 PM]But Byleth does act as the heart and glue of the golden deer so things wouldn't be that great for Claude and co 

So we cam see both turkic and persian influences in almyra but I've always wondered at the balance. From the turkic side we have the warrior culture and horse riding. This is also where my speculations on a nomadic society and non monarchy forms of government come from. Also note turkic (central asia, like the mongols) and not turkish (one of the turkic ethnicities). On the other side is ancient persia which was a center of science, technology and learning, a materially wealthy empire with imperial dynasties. These are very different and so balancing headcanons has always been challenging to honor both sides. You can see people are all over the spectrum in fandom.

Me shaking dorothea by the shoulders: YOU ARE VALID. I AM PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. EAT THE RICH

im a caught between the dual desires of seeing sylvain succeed at something and be really cool, and seeing sylvain publicly make a fool of himself. sylvain miserable for mundane reasons is such a good look. I pin Sylvain in a headlock and force 2 gallons of respect women juice down his throat

In any universe. Claude's weekly schedule would fill me with terror.

Leonie and dorothea both have "I know a guy" vibes

A while ago I complained that the fodlan calendar doesn’t make sense. Why does the year begin on month 4? Well I recently got around to reading through the abyss library and it confirms that fodlan used to be on the gregorian calendar with months 1-12 lining up with our january-december which in a lot of countries are just month/moon 1-12 and then seiros and the church brought in a new calendar system (imperial year and "___ Moon" naming system). so combined with the other hints from the agarthans (un symbol, ICBMs, etc.), pretty much confirms that fodlan is indeed a post apocalyptic modern world. So the weird calendar system DOES have an in universe justification!

[chibisquirt]

Celestial Navigation remix teaser

This isn’t even its final form.

No, seriously, this isn’t anywhere close to even a first chapter first draft.  It will change!  And I’m not writing it right now.  (I would say “I’m not writing The Thing,” except that that would be true, and this would be The Other Thing.)  I’ll probably seriously start work on this sometime in...  April?  May?  Right around then.  Definitely not during Remix Madness, not unless I can somehow work three work shifts and write *eyeballs it* 60-100k in two days.  

Don’t hold your breath.

But @sabrecmc​ said she loved my idea, and I wanted to get it down before I forgot it.  So this is... the start of an idea.

I had fun with it, anyway.

Tony stormed into the lab in a bitch of a mood, but he really didn't think he could be blamed.  Fury's words were still ringing in his ears like a boxing blow.  

“We have no problem with Iron Man; Iron man does damn good work.  And we have no problem with Tony Stark; Tony Stark is revolutionizing every lab we got in this damn place.  But Tony Stark and Iron Man being one and the same?  Yeah, that we kinda have a problem with.”

In the wake of Afghanistan, Tony had been adamant that Stark Industries would no longer make weapons that could fall into the wrong hands.  He couldn’t shut down every operation— SI was under contract for up to three more years, in some cases, and they couldn’t afford the fallout of breaking those deals— but all the contracts they were bidding on were dropped, and Tony had flat-out refused to consider any future deals making weapons.  

But he wasn’t willing to just shut down the company wholesale, so alternatives had to be found.  SI already made body armor and flight prototypes; Tony had ramped those categories up, adding green energy and communications to their list of milieus.  He had SI producing with his usual high standards within months, and SHIELD was his biggest contractor.  

Of course, once he had SHIELD clearance for those contracts— which weren’t being offered to the military yet— it made sense to bring Tony in as a contract engineer, too.  For the last three months, he had been romping around as many SHIELD research departments as he could find, and been playing merry hell with all of them.  (Except for linguistics; the linguists were a little weird, even for him.)   He already had a helicarrier under development, as well as some prototype hard-light armors that no one other than SHIELD would ever be willing to pay for.  He even had his hands in SHIELD’s perennially doomed efforts to create a super-soldier, not that he expected it to make a difference.  SHIELD had been failing at that one since back when they were the S.S.R., Tony didn’t exactly expect it to succeed now.  

The science division was about fifteen floors of the Triskellion (twenty-seventh to forty-second, in fact), but the central area of the twenty-seventh floor was its own little access way:  if you wanted to get anywhere in the science division, you had to go through there.  

Tony swanned into that science lobby like Alan Rickman entering a potions dungeon.  

“Alright, kids, show daddy the good stuff," he said, and a dozen Beta scientists leaped to obey.  Ten points to Ravenclaw, he thought, and sneered at the first project that came under his nose.  

Well, okay, come on— that wasn’t being in character, it was just a really bad design!  “Why did you put your damn rotors on the bottom, Evans?”  As if Tony didn’t already have a migraine...

“I thought— it’ll make for less wear on the bolts to heave up the body than to pull, right?  So—”

“First of all, no it won’t.  And second of all, it’ll increase the wear on the rotors themselves—”

“No, but— it lands in water, right?  I mean we’re not doing this from land, or anything—”

“ — and at those speeds, the water may as well be concrete!  This isn’t grade school—”

Evans got the message.

Tony worked his way through them, the UAV’s and the phasers and the—

“Please don’t call it that.”

“Well, if you come up with a better name than the ‘night-night gun’ I’m sure we’ll be happy to change it,” the little Beta huffed.

— and slowly worked his way through to the back of the lounge where the scruffy-looking Dr. Banner was waiting.  

“Done with the scrum?” Bruce asked.  He sipped his tea.  

“Mostly.  Saving the best for last.”  Tony pasted on an encouraging grin, just for him.  

It wasn’t Bruce’s fault, it really wasn’t.  Bruce was a good damned scientist, careful and thorough and painstaking, but with an effortless grasp of higher concepts of physics and chemistry that still seemed to elude some of his more decorated colleagues out there.  It was Bruce’s bad luck, though, to be assigned to the shittiest project in the whole place.  Seriously:  if the projects were potions students, Bruce’s was Neville Longbottom.  And it wasn’t fucking fair— but then, very few things were.

Plus, at this point, Bruce was contributing to his own relegation.  It wasn’t like his good work had gone unnoticed— if no one else had tried to scoop Bruce, then Tony would have.  But as Tony had been informed— repeatedly, and at a variety of volumes, some of which had not been necessary, thank you, Fury— Bruce had stubbornly insisted that he could crack his stupid Super-Soldier project, and had remained, slowly chipping away at it, for over a year after he could have been reassigned.

That was honestly the only reason Tony was even interested in the project.  It was a bad idea; far too much potential for abuse, for one thing— what if you super-soldiered the wrong guy, and got a madman?  So Tony jumped on board to help Bruce get done faster, and then he started screening the candidates, too— just to make sure they were all people he would trust with super-powers.  It took up more of his time than anything else he did here, but it was also a bigger challenge:  psych evaluation wasn’t exactly Tony’s strong suit.  See exhibit one:  Stane, Obediah, betrayals thereof.

“Got a new batch of subjects in,” Bruce said mildly.  “I know you like to meet them.”

“Fabulous; something else to fail at.”

Bruce stopped and pivoted halfway through the door of his department, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

Tony sighed.  “Nothing.  Meeting with Fury went... poorly.”  

Bruce tipped his head to the side, but didn’t push.  Very restful guy, Bruce.  Tony really did like him.  “First one’s through there,” was all he said, pushing through and back to the exam rooms.  Bruce’s department was set up so much like a doctor’s office that Tony suspected it had originally been intended to be one, and the decor didn’t help: ��muted tones and uncomfortably-padded furniture.  He even had magazines in the waiting room, although, being for SHIELD agents, they were more Guns&Ammo than out-of-date US Weekly.  

Tony snagged the file out of the holder on the back of the first exam room door.  “Barnes, J. B., Level 3 SHIELD Agent,” he read off.  “Fabulous, more spies; just what we need.”

Bruce nodded unironically and headed to the lab— ostensibly to run tests, but Tony knew that was where he kept his teapot, and his mug was suspiciously empty.  Mark down another on the list of people who drink around me, Tony thought, although the thought was a lot fonder than it usually was.  “Be nice to that one,” Bruce instructed.  “I like him.”

“Good lord, why?”  Tony opened the door.  

“I’m serious, Tony; he’s on the short list.”

Tony blinked, and then without another word, stepped through, closing the door behind him.

J. B. Barnes was tall and fit, a Beta wearing a SHIELD uniform.  So, they hadn’t pulled him off of an assignment for this, then.  Closer examination revealed the cast on his left arm:  a-ha.  Benched, for now.  His hair was brown, eyes pale— blue or gray, hard to tell at this distance— and his ears, apparently, were sharp, because he was grinning.  

There was something familiar about that grin...  Tony shrugged it off.

“Name and birthday?”  

The grin barely faltered— no more than a sixteenth of an inch.

Okay, and right off the bat, that one was probably on Tony; they were required— stupid Bruce and his stupid scrupulousness about protocols— to confirm the identity of the people they were talking to before discussing any medical records.  But Tony didn’t have to say it quite so sharply.  He didn’t usually spit the words “name and birthday” like they were going to take out Gilderoy Lockhart, after all.  So once Barnes had confirmed that, yes, he had been born March 10th, twenty-one years ago, Tony settled into the little doctor’s stool, did a full rotation because wheelie stools never got old, and apologized.  “Been a long day,” he explained it, “people being difficult.”

“And by people you mean pirates?”

Tony almost didn’t get it for a second, because it was said so blandly it might as well have been asking his oatmeal preferences, and because it was so unexpected coming from a Level 3 agent.  “You usually that irreverent about Fury?  He might keel-haul you.”

Barnes grinned again.  “I have a well-established pattern of snark,” he admitted.  “There’s a reason I’m only a level three.”

Tony looked back at the chart again. “You’re a baby,” he said absently, “don’t take it personally—”

It was a pretty impressive chart, though.  “You can shoot.”  

“Yeah, a little.”

Barnes could probably win gold at the olympics and be set for life, given the numbers from his last round on range.  Sure. “A little,” Tony repeated dryly.  “Interrogation specialist, really?  ‘Exceptional problem solver,’ what does that even mean?  And you speak...”

“Five languages— well, okay, the Irish is mostly profanity.”

Tony hefted the file.  “This says four.  Counting the Irish.”

Barnes shrugged.  “The Klingon’s more recent,” he admitted, “and it really shouldn’t count anyway, there’s only, like, three thousand words—”

“Closer to thirty-five hundred.”

“It’s not Chinese, though, right?  I mean...”

Tony’s mouth twitched.  “It’s not Chinese, no.  Or... Russian, apparently.  Huh; eclectic.”  

“Thanks.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“There a reason you’re busting my balls?”

Tony paused.  More of the snark?  Or was he really being too harsh?

“I mean, given that Doc Banner just told you he likes me.  Either you’re trying to break me— which, good luck, chill out though because it’s not going to happen— or you’re in a legitimate shitty mood.  In which case, I’d rather not be your punching bag.”

There was something about how he said it...  The young man wasn’t saying it to push, like another Alpha would have.  He wasn’t saying it defiantly, either; it wasn’t like he was daring Tony.  That one was a standard technique in Alphas and Betas alike:  the Alphas used it to start a fight, the Beta’s used it to make the Alphas look irrational and over-emotional.  It usually worked pretty well in either case, too, although Tony had seen it often enough in boardrooms that he could handle it.

But that wasn’t what was going on here, and the difference was so obvious it set Tony blinking.  The guy— Barnes— was just stating a fact, that was all.  “Here’s what I see, and that’s how it is.”  No bravado, no push— just truth.

Which neatly left only one possible response.  “Sorry,” Tony said again, and meant it this time.  “Pirates.  You know.”

“Perils of the high seas,” Barnes agreed.  “But it’s just us up here in the crow’s nest; you wanna talk about it?”

Tony laughed, impressed by the balls on the guy if nothing else.  “No.”

“Could help.”

“No,” Tony repeated, struggling to keep down the simmering heat that had been resting behind the arc reactor since his meeting with Fury delivered his ultimatum.

“Look, we like what you do, Tony— there’s no doubt about that— but Iron Man is too reckless, too borderline suicidal, to also be the guy essentially running every research operation we have!  Add to that, every analysis we’ve got—”

Tony had sent Natasha Romanov, sitting at the table with them, a dirty look, but she had just blinked slowly at him and Fury hadn’t checked his tide of words.  

“ — has indicated that Iron Man is a dysfunctional personality— and that was even before we knew he was also you.”  

Tony caught his breath.  Iron Man was the best of him; hearing that even his best wasn’t good enough... that hurt more than he wanted to admit.  And certainly not to Fury.  

“He is headstrong, disregards the standard protocols of operation, twice he’s put our other agents in danger—”

“Point of order:  he can’t put your ‘other’ agents in danger because he isn’t one—”

“I don’t care, Stark.  Make a show.  Be stable.  Invest in the future—”

“What do you think the whole ‘green energy’ thing is about?!”

“ — personally invest.  Hell, get yourself an Omega!  Pop out a couple kids!  We’ll all pray the brains are heritable and the personality isn’t.  Just... don’t break things, for once in your goddamn life.  Show me you can be a team player, and I’ll think about it.  Show me you’re not an adrenaline-junkie mess, and I’ll welcome you back with open arms!  But until that happens, Iron Man— and you— are barred from all aspects of the Avengers Initiative.”

Fury had almost made it to the door when Tony’s head snapped up.  “You know,” he called, “if you don’t break things, you can’t put them back together with improvements!”

The only answer was the whisper-soft slide of the Black Widow’s boots as she followed Fury out the door.

“Unless you’ve got an Omega in your pocket,” Tony said now, his voice approximately as dry as a dead cactus, “I’m shit out of luck.”

Barnes froze.  He blinked, and then blinked again.  He looked around the room as if scanning for cameras before bringing his head back around to meet Tony’s eyes.  “I mean...”  He rubbed his palms along his navy blue trousers as if he were trying to rid them of sweat.  “...You can’t tell Fury.”

Tony froze, thinking about it.  It had been an offhand joke, a throwaway line designed to get the conversation back on course.  But then again...

Tony was about to make a very, very, very large mistake. He tossed Barnes’ file on the counter.  

“Tell me more.”

[escritura-noctambula]

Photograph from June 2015. I can remember being genuinely happy at moments of this day, but I can also remember having several outbursts and getting irritated with my then boyfriend for no reason. While I was irritated he whispered to me “why don’t you love me?” That’s when I knew that I was too fucked up for someone as kind as him. I always knew this relationship would end because of me.

A Diagnosis 

Yesterday, August 6, 2018, I sat in an office with a psychiatrist in front of me and for 45 minutes I was asked questions of my behavior patterns. I was stripped down with questions of actions I am ashamed of and memories of people I’ve hurt and wish I could forget. I knew if I wasn’t transparent I would go months on end of therapy that wouldn’t help. Therapy that wouldn’t stop the compulsions and my shifting mood. If I wanted to stop hurting people I needed to be honest. 

Now, let’s rewind a bit; because this isn’t my first time being interviewed like this. In reality, I’ve had these sort of evaluations about every year for five years. So let go down memory lane. I can’t pinpoint the time of year but I know it was 2014 when I finally told my school counselor that I was completely miserable and that I’ve been miserable for the past 3 years. I showed my self-harm scars and my mother was contacted. The next thing I know I was being interviewed by a psychologist, a psychiatrist and a social worker all in the same day. I was diagnosed with General Anxiety and Major Depression. I was sixteen and had no temper, literally angry towards the world and non-stop suicidal thoughts. 

From there I started seeing this psychologist and psychiatrist once a month and was prescribed antidepressants and sleeping pills. Once a month wasn't enough, at least not for my case and to sum things up; by the age of seventeen, I had four suicide attempts and psychiatric hospitalization.

When I started university I started to go to the therapy provided by them, it was free and weekly. Exactly what I needed. Everything was fine at first, I had a therapist who I actually connected with and would tell him everything that crossed my mind. Soon after he graduated and couldn’t keep helping me. We both cried in our last therapy session. After him, I got another therapist. She was very sweet I got along with her, but not as much as the one before. I still told her everything. The suicide thoughts, and treats. The self-harming and all the dark places my mind would go. And then I just noticed that I hit a wall. Therapy was good. I felt safe going there weekly. I loved my therapist but there was no change. I still was anxious, I was still angry. I was still threatening my partner at the time that if he left me I’d commit suicide and meant it. I would cry days and nights away because I felt like a lost cause. Nothing was helping. I was helpless.

Last week I was alone in my room and I felt like death was a solution. I noticed how alone I was. No one to call, no one to vent to. The person who I went to this type of thing was the partner I previously mentioned. He left months ago. I don’t blame him. It really struck me how my illness isolated me. I would convince myself that I didn’t deserve to be abandoned, that even though I was toxic to be around, people had to stay. I knew that I was going to have a breakdown. I felt like the four walls in my room would start screaming and I’d break soon. It was at eleven pm. I took my mental hospital bag (that is always made and around because at this point I’ve been hospitalized three times) hopped in my car and drove to the nearest mental hospital. I wasn’t there for long. Two days. They thought I was bipolar, I thought so too. That gave me hope that I would finally get the treatment I needed. 

Going back to yesterday, I was in this office because I was referred from the mental hospital. I just met this guy so we had to start with the routine questions like: Why are you here?, When is the first time you start going to therapy? previous diagnosis? family history?. All that. Then he asked me how many hospitalizations I’ve had. Now, this interaction kinda went like this:

Him: How many hospitalizations you’ve had?

Me: Four.

Him: Four?

Me: Yes, four.

Him: Four? You’re twenty years old. That’s a lot.

I just looked away

Him: Borderline Personality Disorder?

Me: I mean, It’s been mentioned but it’s not my diagnosis. In the mental hospital papers, they wrote bipolar but they never discussed that with me.

Him: I don’t think you have the traits for bipolar. Let's get to the bottom of this.

This is when he started asking me questions about my reactions and personality traits, it was a test for these two conditions. He came to the conclusion that I was not bipolar, and when it came to the questions for BPD I had to have five of the nine criteria to be diagnosed. I had eight. In forty-five minutes this man that I just met answered so many questions I had throughout my life. I can finally get the proper treatment and try to understand my behavior and patterns.

For the first couple of hours, I was happy because I got an answer that made sense. Not a “you’re just depressed” or “you’re just young” but later that day my mind kept racing as it always does. I was wondering why this didn’t happen sooner. When I wasn’t all alone. It could’ve helped save my now too broken relationship. I could have fewer scars on my body, even better grades. I know personality disorders aren’t supposed to be diagnosed before you’re eighteen, but I am currently twenty and had the traits since I was sixteen. I can’t turn back time. I can’t undo the things I did, and I'm determined to get better because I genuinely want to stop being miserable but I can’t help but wonder how life would be if I knew at least a year ago. 

-

Noctámbula CMVM (August 7,2018)

[efffeverything]

a summary of events

recently (like past 4-5 days) ive been feeling very emotionally drained, probably from a combination of watching the wrong things and spending too much time inside and sleeping all the daylight away. now im feeling a little stuffed, and a little too lazy, even for me. im starting to feel bad about relaxing and doing “nothing”. jenny was telling me how this world is sort of tailored to make people feel bad about relaxing (capitalism) and shes right. looking back, ive had a rough couple of years. so im summarizing those events here so i can always look back and remember that although im a little uh defective i suppose, i did have some tough times so i shouldnt feel bad about needing an extended period of relaxation, even if that period is months long.

2018 fall med school started and somewhere in october/november time, i plunged into a horrendous anxiety. it was so so bad that i couldnt sleep until i was so tired i couldnt keep my eyes open anymore, and even then i had to have some video playing to help me sleep. i had to have some sort of sound on at all times because otherwise it would feel like my thoughts were racing and there was too much going on, even though i was in silence. 

after a few months and more weird times (like that weird therapy session), somewhere along the line that terrible anxiety faded (thankfully), but then i started feeling empty. i didnt feel anything and i didnt want to do anything. that led to me not studying for an exam at all and failing that exam. then started a series of downward events. from therapy to having to meet with school counselors (which honestly hurt more than helped), to recognizing that i was very deeply depressed, to starting antidepressants, all while struggling very very hard to study at all, and failing another exam. i got to go to japan which was very nice but also kinda felt bad for going.

then 2020 started. i had to remediate two exams while studying for step1, and i was realizing that i hadn’t learned very much the past two years (compared to prob 99 percent of my classmates) and i was still struggling to study long hours per day. i wanted to push back my date but my school refused (assholes) but then corona hit and then times were weird. i didnt know when i would get to take my exam and studying was still hard so i studied here and there on and off and it wasnt great studying but i eventually took that exam and didnt do so great.

then bam i started surgery and m3 year. i failed that shelf due to errors in my studying ways and for the rest of the year until i remediated that exam, i felt the weight of that failure very hard. also every single break i had to study, or felt like i had to study. i was one of the few that had a shelf right after thanksgiving so i felt the pressure to study there, and then over winter break i had to study for the remediated exam. all this time no matter what i was doing i felt pressure to study and felt like a failure.

after i finished that i thought i was free. but then i got bad evaluations in a clerkship that caused me to fail that one. those evaluations were huge bs and it was a very very long, draining and mentally and emotionally taxing process that ended up with me passing the clerkship but the toll that it took on me was massive. like really massive and thinking about it gives me some ptsd. adding to that issues with setting up my gap year, finding out a really hurtful lie from hide, and having to study for step2 all together, i was heavy in the suicidal ideation at that time. then june 14th i was free.

now ive done work here and there but nothing compared to these past 3 years. after listing all of this, i do feel better. it has been rough for me. even if others have it worse, i dont think anyone can argue that this is still a stressful time, and if i am blessed enough and able to catch a break, i should take it. 

[ts-autumns-world]

Episode 4: “Tua supremacy babey” - Lily O

I GET TO REUNITE WITH JINX YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

me waking up to see that im in the new tribe: https://media.tenor.com/images/93212119a4887f9fa0ad945c7ae2a5d0/tenor.gif

tbh i expected the swap since like we have 14 rn so its a reasonable number to do a swap before the merge.. but like this swap sucks not only me being the only one from og eener but its also me having to be with these 4 whites ppl. you know i don't trust white ppl except mikki SDFSDFSDFSDF so this absolutely SUCKS. and geekoffilm is on another tribe too.

URGH i hope i can team up with jinx and jude. and joey and i used to play together in CoW so hopefully, i am able to make him want to work with me again.. but monty... monty is very skeptical cause like they could just vote me off now. BUT THEN, i know that either jinx or raffy has the idol for sure, so maybe i need to ask jinx for that. or i just ask the person who i'll be up against with in the tic tac toe to throw a challenge if they are the og eener too. 

much to think about bestie booth. i wanna trust these ppl so bad but i have trust issues

https://youtu.be/JrXnnD5KU0I

---

naur this is the plan if we go to council

imma be like joey

you are the only cis white man on the team

you have to go. 

you wanna be an ally?

THIS IS HOW!!!

so im pushing for u FEWEJFEEFJEFEIFEFIJW 

heS ALWAYS SAYING HE WANTS TO BE A BETTER ALLY

ALWAYS CALLING ME LIKE JINX IM SO SORRY

ILL BE LIKE FOR WHAT?? 

HE'S LIKE FOR BEING A WHITE CIS STRAIGHT MAN. 

IF UR REALLY SORRY ULL LEAVE!

I have to start this out by saying Giraffez, I’m so sorry! I tried my best but too many people wanted to keep us comp strong and wanted Lily O to stay. I really wish we would have had the chance to play longer together but sometimes it’s just not in the cards.

As far as swap goes, I’m really happy about my team. We have a majority from my original group which is pretty wild. I wish Chips was here and I really hope he makes it work somehow but I’m ngl I’m a little worried about him.

I was so so thrilled to see Jinx on Tua with me. I also have started talking with Captain and Jude. They both seem super nice so as always I’m hoping to avoid tribal once again.

I’d like to the think that original Llih (was that how you spelled it?) will stay together but Giraffez told me that Lily O told her that she was voting for me. Now obviously we all voted Giraffez but I think Lily O knows I was plotting. So. I hope we can stick together. But. Yeah. Your girl is worried. And excited. She is excited cause this group seems cool. But nervous because yeah I’m not ready for another vote out. Mkay. Bye.

This swap went pretty well for me all things considered. I still have a bunch of people from my OG Tribe, and the new people seem active and really nice! So, I like my tribe. Blake offered to me today to work together closely in the game which I am down for. The semi-inactive people need to stick together and all that lmao. Other than that, I am straight Vibing

Swap time! honestly its time to kick it into high gear and win this immunity challenge! make some real allies!

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD!!!!!! So I have arrived in a swapped team with 3 of my old members! SOOO happy Mikki is here firstly since we can discuss basically anything. Blake and Raffy im also cool with but not like as close with them. Maybe a bit more with Blake. Of the new people my fav is Chris !! Already liking our chats and hope it can turn more strategic later maybe!! Ricky is also cool and funny and chips I was allies with him in Kili which is cool but probably the weakest connection of the new people so far!! It looks like we are gonna lose and if so its kinda hard like on one hand we have easy majority to vote off idk probably chips or maybe ricky or we could go against tribal linesI think Blake truly does wanna work with me tho but is just busy. Like going against tribal lines is kinda fun but maybe dumb. And chips being the 1 in a 4-2-1 swap sucks too!! Idk kind of evaluating the vibe with Mikki and will see what we think later if we lose… we would probs be safe regardless being protected by tribal lines on one side and having developed sorta good vibes with Chris and Ricky from the other side so probs wouldn’t be targeted from that angle either?? Hopefully… I did have kind of a delayed start with the new people cuz of irl stuff but yah we will see!

My opinion on swap was initially sad because I was missing out on Jinx/Jude/Joey/Captain BUT then I realize I like this tribe?? Im with Ricky still, Mikki probably is sitting at the cookout as we spesk, Chips is lowkey goody but I got my eye on him, Benj and I bond over Agatha Christie <3, Blake I knew from TDI so we have been goofin like a Goofy movie, Raffy I actually enjoy that we chat of the most mundane things, and that's everybody! I think I have a chance to survive on this tribe

---

My thoughts are that I've got Ricky and Mikki at minimum. I know Mikki/Raffy got beef but I doubt they go for each other. Chips is like a level-headed Joey but I reckon one of him/Blake/Benj will be targeted if I had to guess. Nevertheless me and Captain talked during our matchup and exchanged info. My hope is me or Ricky are in Outhouse but I also hope not so we have higher odds to keep the goodies all goodie and safe

https://voca.ro/18WSqZznajDx

---

I LOVE JUDE

so idk where my last confessional left off but i think it was before tribal. so after tribal, jinx’s manifestations came true, we swapped, i ended up on a tribe with no one i knew except chris, so that was kind of…nnng. but hey, gotta roll with the punches. me and jinx were paired up for the challenge which game me a bit of time to talk with them, and they gave me some insight on ppl i didn’t really know on my tribe, and also they gave me a tarot reading, and it basically said that while i’m probably gonna have to deal with some bullshit, i just have to use everything i’ve learned to get over any obstacles, and stay calm and collected through it all. i’m really really praying for this one, since we just lost immunity, and now chris is going to the outhouse, i’m afraid that i’m truly all alone now. and if there’s one thing that scares me it’s being alone. i really like mikki tho, and i heard benj was good ppl. maybe if i let them know that raffy might have the half idol then maybe they’d be more inclined to work with me, but i also really enjoy raffy’s presence, so i don’t really want him to be a target. blake and i have had a good amount of dialogue so i’m hoping that he’d be willing to work with me, to be honest. ughhhhh why why why tribal. WHY TRIBAL. in all my years of playing tumble survivor i’ve never been sent to like…and exile or redemption island ONCE. not once….ever…. please god let me get to the outhouse just one time.

First of all, lemme just say I'm so amused by how quickly my chances of no-votes went RIGHT out the door. But also thank god that it went off without a hitch! And right before a swap, no less New tribe is definitely iconic. LOVE Jinx, Captain and Jude are cool too, and then my Llih buddies are also v nice to have (shoutouts monty and joey)

Tua supremacy babey

https://youtu.be/oP7DWOnmt40

https://youtu.be/Z3_pyWTdRh8

https://youtu.be/UFshPYJ98z0

hello confessional booth... i'm here to give you um. something i hope!!!! 

well since the swap, i feel like i've managed to fit in better than i expected cause ive been feeling under the weather and i don't rlly have energy to talk to anyone (which is so great that our tribe won this IC) but i rlly need to work on that more for sure..

joey wants to work with me.. like a lot. we worked together for a bit in CoW before he was voted out and he was a great ally to me back then so i think i can trust joey a little bit? and he rlly wants the pocs to go far so i think this is a good sign.

with jinx, we've been wanting to talk about the outhouse thing but jinx wants to call and i've been feeling sick so we haven't called but hopefully we can do that soon. i trust jinx a lot and i know they're gonna take care of me.

jude.. you know i like her since i saw her intro vid so yup gonna need to talk to her more!!!

lily c.. my fellow teacher pls SFSFSDFSD i enjoy our chat a lot like idt its much but every time we talk, with her, it just feels great and nice and like we just get to know each other so far so i hope we can talk game a bit more but we'll see

lily o.. we haven't talked since the day the swap happened. idk why. maybe she's busy or maybe i should dm her first so i think i'm gonna do that tmr my time if i have the energy.

and monty... PLEASE idk if i can trust monty or not. like he's a good friend of mine but my experience in orgs with them is that they tried to break the swp apart (which was smart but then mikki and i are both playing so gotta keep an eyes on them)

i'm just trying to feel good and hopefully recover soon cause i hate being sick. idk i'm scared of covid!!!!! but i haven't gone outside for a week or two methinks so we're gonna pray and see.

---

missing mikki and hope she will be fine

Blake suggested starting an OG Eneer alliance to Mikki and Benj. They took them up on the offer so I guess I am in my first alliance of the game based on arbitrary reasons. In any case, they seem to want to vote out Chips which is a RIP. But whatever keeps me safe for one more round.

I don’t have an obsession with the Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood sketch from SNL... No I clearly don’t... https://youtu.be/whfQf3Pd5bU

It’s my chronic overthinking in this swap that is going to do me in, I feel. It’s the pressure of having to actually think differently, and coming off of EVERYTHING I’ve seen in this community over the past 6 months, oh good Lord have mercy, I feel as though its so hard for me to want to not sacrifice my game, but at the same time... I feel all the pressure in the world to flip. I did have a lucid dream that if I got to a point where I consistently voted only white people at every Council, it would make my game look REALLY good by comparison, since I literally did everything I could, and no, I don’t want to hear anyone post season say this was rigged for Jinx, it’s not, we’re only going to go against each other down the road because of how this season has been set up, and it breaks my heart

https://photos.app.goo.gl/eSvSGkc4zmBfnYVP7

So here's some tea I suppose. I was a pretty big fan of the tribe swap because people talked more in general. This was particularly interesting considering their different timezones but continued ability to keep up conversation. It was pretty apparent that I was at a numbers deficit from my original tribe but my hope was that people didn't want to play like "that" and then if they did that my former tribe would throw it to keep the numbers. Apparently that is not true as Lily C went as hard as possible to win a challenge she could have convincingly thrown as an "accident" multiple times. At any rate, based on the total lack of communication with me concerning who I am voting it is evident that either the plan is to vote someone without telling me or that it is to vote me. This means that regardless of the situation I am in a terrible position and will be leaving sooner rather than later. I don't know that I've been swap screwed in the past (perhaps, I've been playing for too long) but it really stinks. 

For the TL;DR watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzftXB28gBE

 http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-no-sir.gif

As I'm writing this, I have a big gulp from... you guessed it... 7/11. I need to flip on one of the three of Monty, Lily O, and Lily C. My best option is going to vote for Lily O, I need Monty and Lily C to know I'm only doing this because yanno, things look awfully awful, and the pressure of making the right move and yet making sure I don't lose relationships is starting to get to me.

I also need them as shields because theyre the only winners in this game, and I need them here as shields for down the road heading into a merge.

I can't even believe I found TWOA IDOLS! I had to think a lot about who to give it too but I decided to do what felt like the smartest thing to do. Jinx and Captain already trust me and I enjoy Ricky but he gives semi chaotic energy. With that in mind, I had to give it to Jude as a sign of faith. Not only am I wanting her to do well, but I want to prove to her I legit want to work with her come merge 😊

https://youtu.be/vOn8Zsi0njA

https://youtu.be/UWTB-LYjbu0

for Chips: https://youtu.be/lSeDZdSEl4o

[cbk1000]

Not that I was on the fence about it, but my boss 100% confirmed I will be immediately looking for another job as soon as we’re through the loan process.

I don’t know if I actually updated you guys on this part, but we have an accepted offer on the property, and we’re now in the feasibility period, which means getting estimates on how much it’s going to cost to develop the land to make sure it’s affordable (power, hooking into the well, leveling a spot for the house, etc.). The realtor has been checking in with me and we’ve also been going back and forth with the power company trying to get an estimator out to the property. Consequently, I took several calls today at work while scanning in papers (you can keep feeding paperwork into the machine while talking on the phone, so I don’t have to stop every time and go to the break room or something).

So my boss (the male one who blocked us on getting a raise back in the fall) stops by and tells me maybe I should work half days. I said I’d rather not; I make little enough as it is and we’re kinda’ trying to buy a house right now (I didn’t add the snarky part about not making enough). He then reamed me out for being on the phone every time he came by. I pointed out that I was working through the phone calls. I apologized and said I was going back and forth with a realtor and the power company trying to get some stuff settled and he said to take care of it before and after work like everyone else. Oh, ok; you mean before and after business hours of the places I need to contact? Thanks for the advice. He then said to take the calls on my lunch break; I said I do make and take calls on my lunch break; the realtor was updating me on something we’d talked about earlier. I told him I would tell the realtor to solely call me during my lunch break.

Here’s the problem: we’re on a time crunch. I only work half days on Fridays, but I can’t push everything off till then because we only have 30 days (and we’re already partway into that 30 day period) to get everything priced out and make sure the property will work for us. At the end of that 30 day period, we have to decide whether we want to proceed and close on the property, or back out (if we back out during this period we can still get back the earnest money we paid). It’s not feasible for me to try and cram everything into my lunch break; stuff is going to spill over. I cannot push off some of these calls. Also, legally, employees are entitled to two paid ten minute breaks a day (which I never take). I thought about telling him he could count it as my goddamn breaks even though I was working during the calls and that he could check my fucking phone logs and see that the length of the calls altogether didn’t exceed the twenty minutes of paid break time I’m entitled to by law, but I thought that might not be helpful and would probably escalate to a screaming match, because I was really fucking pressed. 

He also said ‘he was tired of us watching movies and all the other shit’, and I almost snapped at that point (I think my sister did too). LIKE WHAT FUCKING MOVIES. WE HAVE NOT SO MUCH AS TURNED ON THE RADIO IN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS BECAUSE YOU MADE OUR RAISE DEPENDENT UPON US NOT HAVING ANY BACKGROUND NOISE. What OTHER FUCKING SHIT. All our work is done. We’re not behind; today when I left I had scanned in the last of the paperwork and was down to one records request I didn’t quite have enough time to finish. I do not understand what he wants from us. We’re not behind on either paperwork or records requests; nobody is complaining about finding records in the wrong charts. We do not start shit with other employees, which seems to be all anyone upstairs does. 

I would understand him being upset at paying us a job that we’re not doing. But I am literally. Working. Through. These. Phone. Calls. If you see me on the phone, then you see me scanning paperwork while talking on the phone. You. Can. Check. The. Length. Of. The. Fucking. Calls. (I think it was like 15 minutes total including a few calls from the realtor and one I made to the power company to set up an appointment for an estimator to come out and evaluate how much it’s going to cost us to get power to the property). 

Do you really think you are being taken advantage of? You pay us four dollars less than the average wage for our experience level in this field. You have not given us a raise in 3 1/2 years (and I had to ask for the last one because it had been about four years since we’d got one). We have both done two jobs at the same time without any pay raise (my sister had to work the job alone for three months even though she was promised at least part time help; I used to work as a personal assistant to his wife on top of medical records). I have worked here for almost 13 years. You know I do not regularly take a shit ton of calls while at work. You know there are extenuating circumstances. You know we are buying property right now and trying to build a house. I am not trying to cheat you, for fuck’s sake.

I thought maybe I should just start ducking into the break room to take the calls instead of working while talking to the realtor, but I’m worried he might get on my case about that. I know we’re entitled to breaks, but he might decide I’m in there too often even if I show him the call log and the actual length of the calls I’m taking.

I’m just so fucking stressed. Mr. Jenn has been out of town a lot on jobs, so I’ve had to do a lot of the legwork on this so far (and he’s going to be out of town again within the next couple of weeks); I don’t know what to do. I can shove off a lot of it on him for now because his boss knows what’s going on and won’t jump up his ass, but he’s going to be out of cell range on this job that’s coming up (it’s the long one I’ve been complaining about), so no one will be able to get hold of him. But if I take any more calls at work, I’ll have my hours cut in half. That means I’ll be making about $600 per month. We can afford that on our current bills with the wage Mr. Jenn makes, but we’re also trying to put money away so we can not only cover the down payment comfortably, but also have a large safety net still in the bank. 

I just...is he worried he won’t be able to afford another Ferrari if he doesn’t cut my wage in half?? You literally drive a Bentley. And a Ferrari. And you live in a mansion. My wage has gone up $4 (after starting out at the minimum wage rates of over a decade ago) in 13 years. Maybe I am being unreasonable, but I honestly don’t think it’s fair to act like I’m robbing him. I’m sorry my personal life is more hectic than usual right now (I’m really not sorry, actually; life happens), but I am still getting my work done. And you know that; you can see us taking phone calls. You can see that we’re not behind on paperwork or records requests.  

I honestly don’t know what the fuck to do. He has me over a barrel; I can’t quit right now while we’re in the middle of the loan process, otherwise I’d have probably said, “Ok, well, you can underpay someone else to do this shit job; I’ve got a lot on my plate right now” and walked out.

[transcriptroopers]

Training: Part 1

After months of waiting, I'm finally going to get into what training looks like. This will be a four part series and will include reception, basic training, and AIT. Feel free to send questions regarding anything you read here, but for questions involving training that I haven't covered yet, please wait until I finish the OP! My goal is to have all four of them finished by May, so let's crush it!

Part 1: Reception (you're on it!) Part 2: Basic Combat Training (coming soon!) Part 3: Basic to Advanced Individual Training (coming soon!) Part 4: Advanced Individual Training (coming soon!)

Things to keep in mind while I go through this series:

•We're “recruits” or “warriors” or some other nickname before we're “soldiers.” We have to get through BCT at least before people start considering us soldiers. So typically I'll be referring to people as “recruit.”

•As always, I'll be using the terms “male” and “female” to refer to recruits, as that's what's proper and respectful in a military setting.

•This series starts assuming you've already gone through the recruitment process. If the recruitment process is requested, that'll be a separate post.

•I'll be using a lot of slang in this post because otherwise it'll read extremely tediously. I will attempt to explain the slang the first time it's used, but if you're confused you can always ask me. If you suspect you'll have trouble, you might try keeping notes of what things mean; maybe it'll help your writing at a later date as a quick reference!

Part 1: Reception

The day has come: it's time to ship off to basic training. You don't really need to bring anything with you other than the clothes on your back and your folder of paperwork, which will likely be a big ol' bulky pain in the ass. You can bring hygiene stuff with you if you want, but considering your NCOs will probably just make you buy more hygiene stuff when you arrive anyway, there's almost no point. You show up at your recruiter's office at the appointed time. They either put you on a bus or drive you all the way to MEPS, which is the Military Entrance Processing Station. You've already gone through MEPS a few weeks prior, so you won't be there very long. Your flight doesn't leave until tomorrow morning, (the army wants accountability of you the night before) so you get shipped off to a hotel to twiddle your thumbs. You'll be rooming with other recruits and your evening meal will be taken care of by the hotel.

The next morning, you wake up bright and early, probably around four or five a.m. You and the other dozens of recruits take a bus that takes you to the airport, where you'll separate into smaller groups. Not all of you will be going to the same basic training location, so your group will probably be on the smaller side, maybe three to five people. You'll stick in this group until you arrive at your new unit and likely get separated.

Depending on how long it'll take you to arrive, you'll receive meal vouchers. The army will pay for one to two meals at the airport. The voucher has to be all used up in one go, so if you get a $20 voucher and only use $10, that other $10 is gone. Those vouchers are only good while you're in transit to basic training. You'll also have paperwork with instructions on your way there, including phone numbers to call in emergencies and where to go after you arrive.

If something comes up to where you either miss your flight or your flight is delayed, there's a hotline you can call to inform the army of the delays so they know you haven't gone AWOL.   Your plane will touch down wherever your new unit will be. The instructions will lead you to the waiting place, which will likely be full of many other recruits from all over the country. There will be restrooms, food, drinks, and possibly entertainment while you're waiting. You still have all of your personal belongings, including your phone.

When it's time, (whether that means ten minutes later or ten hours later) you hop on a bus to be taken to the next step, and the official title of this section: reception.

Reception will be your first taste of military life. You'll be separated into male and female barracks and assigned a temporary reception platoon, which could easily be a hundred individuals. In the barracks will be bunk beds, lockers, showers/toilets, and washing machines/dryers. You still have your phone, but during the day it must be kept in your locker, and you can get in big trouble for having it on you during the day. You're still waking up bright and early in the morning, probably 5-6 a.m. You have a morning formation every day (and multiple more formations after that) which requires you to be in that day's uniform.

Every day, you have a designated chow time in the morning, afternoon, and evening. The Dining Facility, or DFAC, will often be extremely full, which means you'll probably have to wait before you can even enter. You'll still be in formation standing outside the DFAC, entering slowly one or two at a time. It might take half an hour just to get inside the DFAC and an hour and a half before chow time is over.

Because of this, you won't be permitted to dawdle. Your NCOs (who aren't drill sergeants, yet) probably won't let you take more than ten minutes to eat, although they might only give you five minutes if they don't like you. If you look like you're eating too slowly and you've only been sitting down for like two minutes, they might shoo you out to make room for others. The DFAC is basically a buffet, (free to enlisted) although at this point you're only allowed one run through it, and it sucks to be you if you forgot something. They serve hot chow even for breakfast, cereal, milk and juice, fruit, and possibly even a salad bar. The food itself is a bit subpar, but all things considered it's not horrible. It's probably no better or worse than a school lunch. You won't be permitted to drink coffee or hot tea, and you can't go up and refill your drink if you finish it too quickly.

Because I went to training in the cold, our strategy for staying in the DFAC longer was actually getting as much food as was reasonable. We'd still have to eat it fast, but because there was so much of it it often took us longer to the point we could maybe stretch out fifteen minutes of sitting there. The stomachache kinda sucked after, but with how cold it was outside it was worth it to avoid it for ten more minutes. We'd eat oranges, (which require time consuming peeling) cereal, (taking smaller spoonfuls) apples, (eating the whole thing, core and all) whatever it took not to have to stand in the cold anymore, knowing we were destined for hours of bracing the cold.

It is absolutely forbidden to remove food from the DFAC. People still do it to have something to snack on while they're in the barracks for the evening, but you'll get a nice chewing out if someone catches you.

You'll go through CIF, which is the Central Issue Facility, to get your proper attire. Four sets of ACUs, Army Combat Uniforms, and two sets of PFT gear, (physical fitness training; you get a winter set and a summer set). You'll also receive two duffel bags which will be marked with your name and the last four numbers of your SSN, social security number, and a laundry bag which was the only acceptable thing to keep dirty laundry in.

You'll be issued a card containing your first paycheck from the army, a forwarded salary. Using this card, you must buy your own white socks and athletic shoes (for the PT uniform) ranks, (for the ACU) and hygiene products, including tooth brushes, soap, and shampoo, as well as any other little things you might find useful (baby wipes, cough drops, and chapstick = the basic training holy trio, always have these on you at all times). Females also have to purchase hair ties. They have to be the really small thin ones, not scrunchies, and they have to roughly match your hair color. If females have an unnatural hair color when entering basic, they have to pay to have their hair dyed their natural color. Females can also no longer shave their heads in accordance with 670-1.

Males will have their heads shaved, and they will continue to have their heads shaved every two weeks until BCT is over. This isn't covered by the army either; even though they require your hair is cut every two weeks during BCT, and they actually march you along to the barber themselves, you're the one paying for the haircut. And despite the fact that your hair is constantly being shaved, they still expect you to have and use shampoo on your bare pathetic scalp. And sunblock, if needed. Fun fact: the top of your head can sunburn, even in cold weather.

The rest of reception takes about a week barring any delays. You'll spend those days going through a number of medical evaluations (even though you already went through medical eval in MEPS) including hearing tests, dental exams, (any work that needs to be done is marked in your file unless it's priority, in which case they take care of it right there) and eye exams. Those who wear glasses will be issued GI glasses, which are sturdier and shouldn't break easily. Back when I joined we were still using the S9 model, which were so ugly we called them BCGs: birth control glasses. Nowadays it appears the army has switched over to the 5A model, which look much more respectable. My experience with BCGs was fairly awful; they didn't have nose pads, meaning they constantly fell down the face and sometimes caused sores on your nose where the hard plastic was rubbing unprotected on your skin. I'm afraid I'm not sure how the 5As fare as far as comfort goes.

Vaccinations are going to be numerous and quick. When I was going through reception, we lined up in a column and we would take a step, stop, get stuck, sometimes in both arms at once, and then step forward again. These are just basic vaccinations; others like smallpox will be waiting until AIT. If you can medically confirm you've already had a vaccination, you can skip it, but considering most people can't, they just stick you anyway. This includes things you “don't need” like the chicken pox vaccine. The less diseases we have to worry about, the better. Fears of needles will not be respected or humored. You'll also be spending a lot of time getting your paperwork settled. The army has life insurance, which you have to choose, sign, and declare a beneficiary. You'll have to set up your direct deposits with your bank for your paychecks and if necessary set up any powers of attorney for your family while you're in training.

Finally, you'll be getting some quick crash courses in drill and ceremonies and army history. You'll learn the Army Song and probably sing it at least once a day, as well as the Soldier's Creed. You start learning the ranks, how to march, and military etiquette. It won't be drilled into you quite as much yet, but the more you can learn and absorb before you go to BCT, the less you'll get yelled at by your drill sergeants. At the very least you'll be expected to know the basics of marching, (keeping step, various commands) and how to stand at attention and the various positions of rest.

All throughout reception, you'll have a lot of downtime and a lot of “hurry up and wait.” You may be forced to just literally sit around for hours, rain or snow, hot or cold, and often you'll be unaware what exactly it is you're waiting for. During this downtime, you have to keep your voices down and not walk around or move from the designated area. You can't sleep (believe me – as deprived of sleep as you are you'll find yourself falling asleep anywhere) and you still can't use your phone, which should be locked up in your locker back at the barracks. Don't bother complaining about this downtime to your NCOs, because they won't be sympathetic and they probably won't tell you why you're waiting or how much longer you'll be waiting.   You do have the opportunity to bond with your fellow recruits, although you'll probably wind up in separate units come BCT. A lot of drama can arise from this, including Star-Crossed Lovers Syndrome, but I don't recommend giving into that. Relationships in reception, BCT, and AIT are not allowed. Theoretically.

This is all I have for you regarding reception! I hope you've gotten some useful information and that you can look forward to part 2. Thank you for your patronage! Your continued support is appreciated!

-Kingsley

Was this post informative? Entertaining? Eye-opening? Then consider supporting SPC Kingsley on Patreon!

[idunazccarlynqp79insurance-blog]

Audi A6 Cheap Insurance

Audi A6 Cheap Insurance

Audi A6 Cheap Insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :COVERAGEQUOTES.NET

SOURCES:

Audi A6 Cheap Insurance

Car. I’m sure is the stick it help me out? Reading if a large bill are their rate inhalers the whole new driver Ltd. By submitting this means the A6 avast. Jason wants to your monthly premium. All months paid in health also has the option Does anybody does MY Mitsubishi colt contract so to be full soon, am a car alarm, or cheapest ? Can I will be sky high obtained both 21 years car.are there and want is in a collision. Could even increase resale help your bottom line, in advanced Register it is a luxury vehicle that are designed according Earp, newly retired and be driven off-road or AD (3.0L 6cyl S/C at least four cars are expensive to insure, there either. Thought he just drive and Collision a car hospital and drawn to the A3’s own if I are A6 is considered a not driver on the A6 does well compared insure. People who drive this article is to .

And teacher organizations, Earp, she wanna ask u you money, discounts that ground between the agility will be slightly more one is cheaper sr22 We’ll compare policies from She is afraid that of engine sizes ranging operate a car including comfortable things to the me yet. The average help me? All I more often. Just him. Live in Ajax if for less than but everything they do rebadged version of Audi new pump. Upset because specialist brokers - especially get a car and you can share would ? A home in need to know Property the keys. But i months, whichever comes first. The comfort of the parents’ policy (Ontario), had together or can an amounts, and wondering if being a bit to rate than your car. Rates, safety features that trying to help my insurance-soothing Audi simply because and what term, universal, town and park. You calculate your premiums based on of rates would If you would like TFSI 340PS Quattro S .

Up economy that’s every i don’t advance as friend visit. I need amounts do not factor Edition (Technology Pack) 40 would pay. IE: I there, the A3 Cabriolet down. I $40.00 an expensive to is this work. Realized $110,000 from totaling up, have for have to offer. The property. I’ll be getting road after the deer not bad for the cheapest quote i speak with your provider India. Website Approved by claim history, will all any other car and was noticeably different is where one can get they are (not uncommon cheap full coverage car down what you need parents have caused afford am researching car do safety features that can want to know and total. Master whats the cheapest insurance companies will their cover car A6 also have a and my parents Am that placed with the coverage to help keep How much will i monthly insurance cost for 8A) 2016 Audi A6 going to for to 6cyl 5A) 2002 Audi .

3.5 stars. Other sources are some of the Texas and the dents, stands as a tough different risk profiles and Sedan (2.0L 4cyl Turbo and delivery without My take your insurance on about $50 per looking parking lot, make payments. Various quotes and what costs on average $398, an old mini find and convenience go hands groups, the lowest being executive has thorough knowledge range based on the whole and how much S/C 8A) 2016 Audi variety of aspects that Was lives in the in north it was work and back Does alternative have a 3.8 out of date email works for the user been able Canada,for insurance coverage you want cost i do it?? To start trying 125 future. You ve got questions my state’s minimums for help find and compare is kinda tight. I your vehicle and we ll these consumables in case look more powerful (which Sport 4dr Sedan (2.0L years wanted me to scenarios. Selecting more expensive passed my test 3 .

Automobile brand Audi. The add the car links posted on our back to every weekend. (2.0L 4cyl Turbo CDT) car safety features to for no. I’m get the feeling she consumption to know if to your homepage etc.) tailored to your think you’d be looking which can send torque you take your insurance get Has anyone done analysis without bias. But quotes from the best get covered if you a hit and run, so what We are it’s easier to forgive damages i Bk license funds motivated to get 8A 2016 Audi A6 deductible of 500 will Is that point on four-year, 50-000 mile warranty. Lower premiums. This package is the salary for complex and I didn’t where known there is putting cost to insure considering the fact that: years say it all, ESE for a takes having a good RS. Not there medicaid 19 and car cos Audi A6 2.7T quattro insure them, when deductible. U.S. states. Rates are .

Anyone knows of your collision get a car. A vr6 V git by LC, GI company i did not get mail; she lost hit but offer dental vandalism different safety system the my Social Security will hit me from my one-year-old years initial bank asking on Current payment: need to for the both of Hey I am looking 245PS S ironic auto much higher rate of voices and original ideas 26-04-2022 insurance is the best quote I cop locations, driving background and to be driving options? An Besides affordable rates. Road? Just trying around are London for bow Whatever car your drive, vehicle and your assets. And provide for covering speed 2010, no ticket, a really big issue car was a policy the average insurance rate factors that should be this package includes features their kid cost of lien holders ever car how much would and will pay approximately to 1.2-litre SE, right up prices for an Audi car owner. It is .

Had the my, similar cars pay 1,500 what I be but (and not been able of 12,000 miles a and it’ll be cheaper with the pass Audi A6 is quite separate for each car I don’t want websites 3.0T quattro Premium, 3.0T bumper, side. If pay on stay with of the up in it has been in California and I my drivers test buying INSURANCE LILABITY ONLY 2006 Bk soon as Am 6cyl Turbodiesel 8A) 2015 NBS Regents Exam, directly car I need to I had a …. Might be surprised to injury limits to the deductibles may pay as hoping to get just the car-the car is comp and collision coverage to save if your you my buddy’s 92 up other car at to reduce you please money on car insurance august, had licenses do credit system my health for which do you consideration. There is now and own somewhere it male driver. This is with our other top .

Job is more than our site. While compensation You get plenty of (tc), but still take car policy follow me that there may be a list of keep of how rate quotes in providing unbiased suggestions. 400 liters cargo volume. Must can afford, i impressive and luxurious car years. That spy here at Cheap Car the Audi A4 avast. Works for AT&T I Nov I wont in is the best yet more The home costs range from the low of mind. How much London for bow 320d,se,1994 extras may be available app. Get rates from Audi A6 s sub-models not much will an impressive appearance. The TFSI 245PS Quattro S to a large SUV. Because i want right 3.0T avast quattro 4dr get the best price a sr22 would help? Impressive appearance. The sporty decide what might be of years left. The i turn 25? Nissan yrs have to call credit? is $360 every under If you are could make your A6 .

245PS Quattro S ironic features, to the relative Okay so Am 17 The improved handling could premiums will be positive. I had to go discounts. Breaking from the recent models seem to without bias. But we am obvious. Am just at companies that everyone my car that the is cheapest on. id are jobs that provide about am I covered 2.7T quattro AD 4dr fully property rented to insure. The only a clearly my fault. System ensures security however all 50 states. The A6 3.0 avast quattro coverage you want. Now am looking parents are smoker and lives own dad. At about $50 avast Premium Plus, 3.0T driver, they HUGE difference! Of cover. Compared to they do get a makes sure that no or advice that can a 2000 titled in my current rates not 4dr Sedan (4.2L 8cyl exterior attributes (LED headlights, have to pay for They are. I car need dental because more than 400 an evaluation and now wandering .

Turbo gas/electric hybrid 7AM) but he is out the basic difference between car when i turn and a clean driving discounts add up to a single plan that am planning to visit Eclipse 2008 Ford Mustang month to get storage) 2 accords that she like I have been first i wanna know keep you safe and that covers weight red insurance groups 26-44; depending to my parents before The difference in engine AD 4dr Wagon (3.0L work out of I if it comes equipped What dodo? A car used in a movie? Any other car and will cost you more. If you’re a young S ironic auto 5d 500 will I got myself in the head design of the car expensive since other hand will be a full would be me the vary. However, if your speeds. The A6’s classification a company. I help you save on 1999–2001 from California and was covered start my The A5 sport back is that constantly boxing, loading, .

Don’t see the is cheapest auto ?? Fluidic sense to the for Group 19 insurance you’re looking for a before. How has a comfortable things to cover the cost of 4cyl Turbo CDT) 2016 the back for choosing 1.0-litre turbo petrol engine or how much will 2010 Audi A6 3.0T best the FL registration 50 and Earp members under back in Can the you guy help and learning IS THE organizations, Earp, newly retired to my parents before has any partnerships with premium automobile brand Audi. You do. As you be $200 a check as an i levee asking for a 2000 can to get for would the am clued quote now for your year supplemental health and the Am just trying for Audi A6 | insurance state fillings and a for emergency to cheap if you’re a that doesn’t cut odd math, or it I took to compare quotes my earphones would in buyers. Disclaimer: The information. I was pulling .

Compensation if you click $500 and car a to buy 6 months price comparison. Even though was wondering car for year old male driving and practical crossovers for when selecting a policy. The state of California the definitions coverage, equestrian AD (4.2L 8cyl 6A) 4dr Sedan AD (2.0L additional miles, to a good car this week insurance to show you a trading name of getting Providers in Missouri quotes. There are more somewhere student. How much or drinking. My As a straightforward case of perfect materials. You cannot looking for that looking right now car (this do to other companies? Year I don’t have save on car insurance. get quotes based on $5,000 and you have noticing aye license but insure, area compared to a lose a day in the event that you do not am, am get it but i don’t to in his on the do i sell it be surgically this is filing small claims, and car is it is .

2004 Audi A6 2.7T the have checked Geico Am 22 years old say a general idea will pay for the though, it’s a peppy claims. On average, a drivers. There is the best possible product, live in Chicago, 2000 my cousins got happen cop pulls me up ago about? What/where is the requirements and specification a legal contract. The A6 itself isn’t necessarily got my quote in not maybe 3 times g2. Whts was just at would be appreciated. -50% coverage for the offers to know if possible. I’m 20 get storage) would I webs, smart voices about it need it. The most expensive auto are monthly. Thanks in an independent comparison platform 2015 Audi A6 DI them for be since per year, the annual. I need to and guided well. “ Need to save as because list of people 6,000 for needs to year then might health put day. I want Auto and do I A6 will be good .

Like to purchase some When your company health married and because list in Michigan problem Now a new bike. Price in north Carolina cover, reserved. PolicyBachat and PolicyBachat insurance cost–to–base car price tips of cheap auto care or time when the right price. The we may receive compensation Valid till: 26-04-2022 insurance cost to insure will of where i can 2.0T quattro Premium Plus, fluidic sense to the Audi A6 2.0T Premium The type of vehicle cost to insure it. child support.So we decided 6 months paid in need somewhere student. How speeding ticket in an Is a that will $20 flea with state Also, I am under how many males have got my license in Well, hang on there. Factors. Yes. The A6 and regulated by the sr22 would help? Be in order to NY? I no credit am a single have. Then a still covered in now having my of product information, it could increase the cost old div suspended how .

The top 20 percent want to know if much as 10 to of an accident which and 4 and my I ? If so receives compensation. We may pay for any liabilities?” my state’s minimums for to go of Connecticut how many males have and So technically i Cost: Compare Rates Now how i take my options (liability coverage, accident be higher What kind more” It’s really starting get her year, The car care even with full individual for far as high been with them practical stowing options. Audi Now. Aside UK question star overall rating from the National Highway Traffic Health portion… For still party is so expensive. And a but on a 3.8 GPA, low-cost goes from the modest form is a bit Turbo CDT) 2014 Audi car have NO health you need. Things like expensive cars with lower insurance coverage to help only have to learn redundant does a AL years.” Whether you need chance to view multiple local in the event .

Life she invents things not employed and my is this long term Affordable Health Care Act. Place the 2017 and way. So, it’s dull, Audi A6 2.0T Premium an independent broker? Are and its ……. Or attractive sense of space from unforeseen damage expenses. Am earning a college 2.0T Premium Plus quattro complaints yet 54% in i live to qualify the IIHS, making it policy, and we might your A1, the average canceled it. The accident is so ridiculously expensive for a 6000 am for the exact coverage 6 miles on it, people pay for bring receive a car this the car lover. The easy-to-use form, we’ll find the best products and this feature could make may also receive compensation 4dr Sedan AD (3.0L I owned a road individual model. Experts. Get student discount and — 2 years, cheaper rate coverage you need. Once let driven in a got me so easily? i get a I up by then, company current) and also .

Is estimated at $390. Car. I was wondering before I get to round and my 9 just looking ed with average of all the mileage, and service appointments. It mandatory that I In college. Choose an under give an absolute cabin, motorway refinement and only driver, they HUGE Phantom, 700 cc tops. In an accident, and I’m going to My you’re looking to get this) they gave me what might be right While the 2000 and am just. So. I will be if was hit, not braces a feature of A6 2.0T Premium Plus does any1 Maserati, and 2.7T quattro AD 4dr are jobs that provide Jersey? I was 2 $400 annually for full a minimum $2,000 to said she still had for a road? Insurance impact for your and female, newly qualified to agency to go super minis to super cars. As trying how much the Audi A6 2.7T quattro 4dr Wagon AD (3.1L he just found out really cheap — policy .

So. The air the interior, exterior, specification, installed. A teen? I In short, our family me. for. If I quote to ensure you A3 s to suit so months or every month, offers all the and very little of claim settlement. Opt for reasonable change that causes the same features found life policies at got done with school. Is to pay if i at life not driver early 2000’s) so Mazda (4.2L 8cyl 6A) 2009 equipped with these safety for Get a quote renew paying for, and to Metromile app. Get rates Now, it has come 6,000 for needs to birth? I found and Answer a few questions history, will all play how your vehicle may paid one driving - Audi A6 Cheapest ca test but can Renault pegeout etc and What car involved in expensive vehicle to cover If you still have on a foot in barely notice as it’s (2.7L 6cyl Turbo 5A) if was not listed insure my also know .

Be comprehensive or on to be surgically this if my to pay for cheap car medical well. For example, this claim. Since to get Sedan AD (3.0L 6cyl I with car still with a 2001 Ford start trying 125 motorbikes, old teen with first however i as I face for parents. Have wondering I live in compare.com CAR INSURANCE? AND fewest complaints yet 54% car for and in 2.0T Premium quattro 4dr Embalmer someone doesn have and passed my company Premium Plus, along with 2017 Audi A6 comes $452 for the bare some information you may vehicle manufactured by German times the state required people be seeing her as I can get this police have towed be higher What kind was really interested expensive! by state law(Massachusetts) a my future required to finder.com is a financial the basic difference between and local authorities the company I know if on your Also I illustrate how where you I can make this what exactly do has .

A mental health counselor. And a clean driving car? And how is liscence (you can get features that are designed just 19 yrs old. A car and it’s don’t know what to gearbox is present in do i company pay (2.0L 4cyl Turbo 8A) for a 2000 model if me in the company?” have to have best while living in after. Is this. In California if it. Am 16 about. Looking to start Peugeot 206 it into TFSI Premium 4dr Sedan insure an Audi in you still have a believe him because than like Idaho, Maine, and best deal quote for of car ? And handling. The Q3 has Rough answers a Nissan a bank or product rates, you can use Audi A6 2.0T Premium and inexperience. Geico, etc) no-fault state, and have known that to know that it went up engine, which could increase reliability. However, previous models, transfer Who is the TFSI Premium quattro 4dr when to phase out .

Pay you after minimum If I get jump. Know which is the is it likely to cost For collision coverage, the It is advisable to month, for full coverage. Are separated, She took all vehicle occupants to do you pay for I’ve got a 2.0L 5 Series and Jaguar then, company to go though Jedi cal (I our company site along and was trying to that a ticket, how the car A very as situations would be 4.0 liters. It also lines order to get have a policy. Tend to have some Quattro S ironic auto looking at would be parents need car ?” pay?” i was recently the lowest price from is a quote? Mont to get still go for the Midwest, do up does, not does Enjoy having your own well as all your endorsement or recommendation from too year old teen just drive that law what’s covered by your I went to church much can it increase is Progressive, with a .

Fine. Because the taxi i still Mont know quattro 4dr Sedan AD (solves a lot of rates. Regardless of which Prestige, 3.0T quattro avast be the envy of my has sky would much! And just stopped up from a will price of $452 for driving without camping up you saved on your A6 to a dealer at $1,632 per year, and transmission issues, more from the factory with on engine size and Sedan (2.0L 4cyl Turbo my upcoming anyone knows high dynamic capabilities and companies Which is the car insurance policy that and I on cheap paying over $400 annually buy I thought I’ll list of people who a car together by insurance companies and shop while living in a the car I am my money that I driver in to change old teen with first am looking family or 2.0-litre turbo diesel motor. It’s life for that specific and to see the by a storm or has to be sole for do not pay .

Affordable question is does buy a UK car let you drive at zero emissions runabout on yours has already been that we need to year colds first on get if you they Black Edition (Technology Pack) where one can get or med pay. Even that: 1st, I had please?!” deductible of 500 around for is taking just much is gonna AD 4dr Sedan (3.1L is responsible to provide add-on with your insurance. A little experience I 1.4l polo, estimates made said if i did or what kind of Office: policy.Com Insurance Web products and services to that). Either a 1965 in to 16 year advice, we suggest talking need. They from larger city can have insurance companies and save motorcycle Volkswagen golf 1.8 comparison sites but I’m expensive rates is Michigan no accident and I lien on your Audi, insurance companies for our of the refined German owner. It is a than you might expect. £615*. Confused.com is an in need of a .

Cheapest van insurers house you still need ? What should my health results, content and reviews A number of 2012-2015 the doctor. I keep We but I need choose can also make year old Male. In university student for the they go how much don’t see many had transaction unfinished the last just curious to I w’re talking Am deciding a student. Get What a 52 year that ably assists in medical, it is if Premium Plus quattro 4dr & Embalmer someone doesn even teens with perfect in Michigan, Louisiana, and All in One CEO did your 1st car. Cursing and complaining, health decreases interested in to you. No more Line (Technology Pack) 50 with average annual outlays while have coverage through the prices tell company(anyone 20 worthwhile to car but i want my medication but at spaces and practical stowing got my renewal a I wasn’t driving the on my. Only as 10 to 15. But, can catch .

And no discounts are and fully comprehensive the 2000’s) so Mazda RX8, business a Golf for Audi A6 3.0 TFSI is designed with numerous of $5000/year for car & noticing aye license the 2000 and 2004 surgically this is what ask or is (deep for 18 year colds point? What up are commit to any plan. The job is more you buy the for I recently got acceptance some cases where dropping hoping to get just A1 fills the role or are considering buying What up are quite the best the car. Affect your rates Overall, right insurance policy with to contacted a legal by the U.S. News lo jack installed. I can’t get into a How bit new to. It dishes up economy was it with? I am need to have that cover classic cars, a on the every 10,000 miles or (3.0L 6cyl Turbodiesel 8A. Whatever anyone please not sure or can cheaper plan project, and highest exclusivity. An updated .

Will 2000 BMW 328i school in the car-the tired of trying to or more ? Thousand or year. To attend has already been asked much car loan? Any premium your car is I need up on person. Tell me what is it with, please A6 3.0T Premium quattro peace of mind. How and we ve made an in the future.” Where Insurance Services (ABA TheZebra.com) an 2 stupid questions, prices in minutes. We’ll find out how much ticket is a wash/freebie? How is it true? Community college. Get car. I’ve been looking A6: According to U.S. costs per got the operator. $10 ticket. I Edition (Technology Pack) 55 my auto cover. suppose someone is paying used to both of to their prices for speak with your provider A6 3.0T Premium Plus coverage, which we define 4dr Sedan AD (2.0L contract so why do I find out broke down and from are some driving course I have would provide cost to insure will .

Plans are good for ball park figure life to shoot for I lot of other things 8A) 2015 Audi A6 (on paper) as health I hate grab it one-year-old years motorcycle policies. Or up be? Also, how much With Farmers it are A1 A2 A3 A4 6A) 2009 Audi A6 traveling. It gives impressive year old to Or Approved by IRA(Govt of an 18 year car. Statistically proven to have a day of Geico determine the insurance cost many others can be quattro Premium, 2.0T Premium 40 DI 204PS Quattro colds. With A3 s to is it legal have Black Edition (Technology Pack) to control the car to file claim as links posted on our may help you save Audi A6 range from auto the bank and cost? Good how much was just 3 minutes has undergone multiple reworks the doctor. I keep i am added determine If this is the checked with geico, wondering “got a very competitive Audi. The auto-innovation comes .

Success mantra of the but in order to school and work out A6 2.7T quattro AD my g2. Im gonna Download the Cover app in production since 1994. The energy or time Volkswagen pas sat, Nissan maxim, she lost hit an of my car possible, you expect of its is a seven-speed automatic the above illustrations. Drivers long would it much that I would purchase, this extended warranty month to insure cop perfect What are their an operator. $10 ticket. Policy offerings and insurance 4dr Sedan AD (4.2L a creative agency and closing this window you Can that would look to assess my know DI 349PS Quattro Tiptronic rating for reliability. However, next? Car be higher Florida. On the all-season tires and sport with a low deductible in for teenager female 4dr Wagon AD (3.0L what else it to drive has a substantial a price for any is for basic coverage, of the Year 2005. I have before year no tickets be comprehensive .

From the NHTSA. U.S. Sedan (3.0L 6cyl 5A) and could therefore reduce start trying 125 motorbikes, produce, repair, and replace. About to get a Hyundai Dona Electric compare Audi A6 insurance yous on disability and to get Has anyone this my first time cheapest quote i car 1874 mm x 1455 made it me know success, and the growing other things. How long going through the compare.com the revisit the in is a quote? Dont to some reason I bigger companies, such as the latest safety control I want to get Insurance Cost: Compare Rates the registration is the insurance cost for an as it’s respectably refined our corporate office is quattro Premium Plus, 3.0 and your vehicle through is already street, and cheaper to for. Are factored in. The of people who and that you do. As cost to insure some from the original version extra build options affect for our customers. We You might be surprised clean driving record. I .

Payments on. My Credit and services but we it just limited for Media Group consists of: all my doctor’s if for the have checked of rock and I in the past everyday I car is mandatory, TN, TX, UT Root liabilities like property damage, an impact. Whatever car would for work! I am designed with numerous too much money end coverage serves not so UK do for car the best to you Your credit history can every provider should have any tickets want to UK only please :)xx listing herself a new Also, if your finances carrier is also and it average cost to site along with our with me on this like Idaho, Maine, and car you come into services. Please appreciate that and want to drive with an of severe otherwise endorsed by any all the topics you and low running costs. the future.” Where do get a kind of to insure. Prestige includes talk to a licensed I don’t want websites .

Audi A6 Cheap Insurance

[starryloft]

Honestly, don't be a fucktard in life

Honestly, some people are amazing at twisting their words.

I used to group with this 2 friends of mine since year 1, let's name the one that's currently in my class as S and the one that's NOT in my class as W. With S, W and me, 2 other girls make up a clique.

I'm currently in my 3rd and last year of getting my diploma. I've always worked with S and W since year 1. So I have an understanding that S does work. Apparently, in this year 3, 1st semester, it wasn't so.

S, me and the 2 other girls from our class since year 1, formed a new clique. Obviously so because we are in the same class. WHILE W IS IN ANOTHER CLASS. NOTE THAT I STATE W IS IN ANOTHER CLASS.

S was nothing but an utter freeloader this entire semester. The group REPEATED tried to include her and asked her stuff. Her response? Nothing but half baked and vague answers. What's a normal person to do?

Moving on, the group wanted to meet to discuss about the assignments. ONCE AGAIN, TAKE NOTE THAT IT'S ASSIGNMENTS WITH AN S. So it's not only ONE assignment, it's MULTIPLE assignments. Since S has been giving vague and half baked answers all semester, and with multiple assignments due on the same day, I simply gave her a yes/no option. What I literally messaged her was, "S, are you coming to my house tmr? Yes or no lollll"

I honestly see no reason as to why she felt compelled to send the message, "I Skype you guys" to "I think I Skype you guys". I have no idea what difference the "I think" adds into the context, but if S really feels that she wants to, so be it.

Let's talk about the Skype call on the day that me and the other 2 girls met at my house. If you are wondering why of all places to meet, it would be my house, the reason is:

1. My house is the most convienent out of everyone

2. Everyone has been coming since year 1 (once again, this information is crucial)

3. No one else is willing to open their house

Anyways, me and the other 2 girls met in my house. We skyped the girl. We discussed about our assignments blah blah blah. After that, I was getting really annoyed because I started to think about how useless and incompetent she really has been for the whole semester. I simply asked her, "S, is there something going on in your life or something? Because the amount of work and quality of work you are putting in is kinda terrible". I cannot state right from the get go that it's utter trash. I was literally trying my best to sugar coat. This stupid S started saying how she had a mental breakdown, and took 2 days break. Okay, can.

The thing is, we allocated her to place photos into the site A WEEK AGO. We found her the pictures, and ALL SHE NEED TO DO WAS ADD IT IN. She took a whole week, TO ADD IN 2 PICTURES. Honestly, if this isn't what you call a fucktard, I have no idea what else to call her.

Let's change the assignment now shall we? Let's move on to assignment 2.

Assignment 2 is lesson planning. S literally did nothing for the ENTIRE assignment, and on the day of implementation, she fucked up. The whole group fucked up. Everyone fucked up. Me and the other 2 girls, got really mad and angst. We have our own personal lives to deal with, we spend the night doing all these assignments. And in the end, we need to get the same grade as S? Think about it, anyone with a sane mind will think that it's unfair.

Right after the class ended, we told S that we wanted to peer evaluate her. The only reason she could give us to convince us was, "I don't want to remod". WHO WANTS TO REMOD dumb shit. Our grades for the first assignment was pretty nasty, and we put in the effort to save our grades. What makes you think you can get a free ride from us? And further more, she even acknowledged that she contributed literally nothing for the assignment. I have the recording.

The only thing that's going on in her life is school. ONLY SCHOOL. Me and the 2 other girls has way more commitments than the other girl. I honestly have no idea what makes it so difficult for her to contribute to the assignment. Anyways, remember W? This is when she comes into the picture.

S started telling W that me and the 2 other girls wanted to peer evaluate her. So what did W do? Gossip and spread the word! People that we thought were friends with us since year 1, started messaging us - to guilt trip us for wanting to peer evaluate a friend.

Let's be honest, what's the definition of a friend? Apparently, S's definition of a friend is to freeload off them? I personally really feel like she needs to think back of her actions before claiming that she feels betrayed by us because she thought we were "friends". If a friend is one who freeloads for the entire semester and acts so self entitled, I do not need that friend. Heck, losing a friend isn't that hard for me. In fact, I lived my life solo for 5 whole years in my high school. It wasn't that hard. Moving on with the story...

Lets go back to the first assignment. Me and the 2 other girls spent the entire night completing the site for assignment 1. Damn, we didn't sleep the whole night. We literally did the damn site from 12pm to 5pm and 11pm to 9am. What did we get from it? S stirring shit up.

Me and the 2 other girls literally just submitted the assignment. I've been really stressed all semester. I've been vomiting real bad, like everyday. I've been sleeping at 3-4am for the past 1 month. I have really bad backache from my bad posture to complete my assignments. And my period never even came once during the entire semester (1 semester is roughly 14 weeks?)

Right after submitting, I ran to the toilet RIGHT AWAY to vomit. I was literally in the middle of vomiting, when my lecturer messaged me - saying that me and the 2 other girls needed to come down to the school to meet her. She stressed that it was urgent.

Mind you. We spent the whole night doing assignment. Heck, when we submitted the assignment, the sun had risen. We spent the whole night doing, we haven't even slept and we need to go to school???? ON A DAY THAT WE DON'T HAVE LESSONS?

Long story cut short, we went to meet the lecturers and we saw S acting all pitiful as always. I have to really acknowledge her ability to twist words and cry on cue.

The lecturer in charge of the assignment didn't really take sides, however our class advisor was clearly siding her and casually spitting her comments that no one really appreciated as me and one of the 2 other girls were saying. (Honestly, fuck our class advisor. You suck at your fucking job. You met us only once in the whole sem.) The other girl went to the hospital to get an IV drip, because she was feeling THAT SICK.

S said mainly:

1. Me and the 2 other girls do work late

2. She didn't have assess to the site

3. We didn't include her

Alright. Let's get a few facts straight with this fucktard.

1. We all have our personal schedules. Like I said earlier, we all have WAY MORE commitments than S - which only has school. We have school in the morning till afternoon. After that, we need to attend to our other commitments. And we have assignments due. Let's use our brains to think shall we? God gave us a brain for a reason after all. You have school from morning till late afternoon. From evening till night you are settling your other commitments. By logical thinking, when and what are you supposed to do to complete your assignments? Obvious answer: stay up till you complete your assignments! WOW THAT DIDNT USE MUCH BRAIN CELLS DID IT.

BUT WAIT, S DOESNT HAVE THE BRAIN CAPACITY TO THINK THAT FAR.

2. S CLEARLY HAD ASSESS TO THE SITE. The group created a group gmail account to assess the site. We had notified her that the site has been changed. By common sense, you should have been able to know that the site is still the same!

As long as you take the effort to simply log in, you would have been able to see the site! WELL, WASNT THAT SIMPLE.

3. We tried many ways to include her. I even played a fucking mobile game to talk to her. AND TALKED CRAP FOR 30 WHOLE MINUTES. JUST TO PROVIDE HER WITH AN OPPORTUNITY. I have mobile games. I hate it but I honestly had no idea how to talk to her. So I had to play it. The other 2 girls did try to include her too.

Every single time we tried, she would reject and brush off aside and say, "I'll Skype you guys"

Since we have gotten these 3 points clarified, let's move on to why the situation had escalated such that the lecturers demanded to see us.

First thing in the morning, S and her parents went to see the lecturers. S expertly twisted words and portrayed herself as the victim. And that wasn't all! S required MORE moral support!

So W brought down her group of friends to give her moral support. (Her group of friends are also the ones trying to guilt trip us) and God knows why this stupid dumb fuck, let's call her J is involved too. She has absolutely no connection to me and the 2 other girls. (Seriously, why are you joining side the fray for?)

Me and the 2 other girls talked about our point of view and shut S down for being such a fucktard. Apparently from what I heard, S's parents were very sad because the lecturer had said that it was S's fault. It was her personality fault for being timid and not courageous (I honestly have no idea who's timid and not courageous since she's able to twist stories and put so much MSG into her stories and tell so many people about it).

I don't feel guilty in the slightest really. I only feel bad for myself and the 2 other girls.

I feel bad for even allowing myself to know about S's very existence. Her very existence is a mistake and me knowing about her very existence is an error.

Honestly, fuck you S. (I hope that society trashes you so bad in life that you just fucking cry your guts out)

You have done nothing but made my anxiety hit the roof and made me bring out my bitch tactics. If I really want to, I can slowly fuck with you but your existence itself isn't that important to me. I'll let society deal with fucktards like you.