#i tried to listen to music because i thought maybe id feel something maybe id get a deeper connection to music but it just

[oscurascout]

Y/N As A Doorman

From That's Not My Neighbor game

Part 2 (Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10)

A few hours had passed since the twins left again, and to be honest, being a doorman was more boring than I had thought. "Well, maybe it's because they are still at work," I thought as I lay in the chair. Surprisingly, the chair was very comfortable. I lay there with my headphones on, listening to music and scrolling through social media. That's when I saw that someone had arrived. I looked up and saw a woman with a stitched face—her mouth and eyes were stitched. "Okay, let's do this as professionally as possible," I thought as I got closer to the desk. I then noticed that she didn't give me any documents.

"Um, ma'am, I need your entry permit and ID," I said, looking at her. I tried hard not to show any emotion, but who could blame me when faced with something straight out of a horror movie? "That's why I was watching some doppelganger on Instagram, to prepare myself, but I guess nothing prepares you for the real thing," I thought as I waited for a response, but she remained silent and still.

*Sighs* "Okay, let's do this, ma'am. Since I see the, um, condition you are in, and well, I actually like you. Wait, not like romantically or anything, but like a friend. So, if you could please leave. I seriously don't want to do this, but if you don't, then I'll have to call the D.D.D.," I said, starting to sweat. I didn't say all of this just to be kind, but because I don't want this doppelganger after me once I leave work. I "fought" with the twins, but because they won't do anything. Those two are cowards, but these doppelgangers. Nope, they will probably do something to me. So basically, right now, I am the coward, but I don't care if it saves my skin.

I waited for her to do something, ready to push the red button, yet she only nodded and then left. I let out a sigh of relief. "I can't believe that worked!" I thought, smiling as I looked through the window and saw her leaving through the front door. I lay back in the chair and released another sigh of relief. "Okay, back to watching these weird videos," I thought, continuing to watch.

After a few hours of work, it was already 9, and honestly, I feel like I did an amazing job. I encountered approximately six doppelgangers, and three out of six people had come in. I only needed to wait for Francis and the two twins. "Two more hours, come on Y/N, you can do it," I thought, encouraging myself. Yet again, I saw a figure at the window. Not exactly a person, more like a doppelganger. This one had a white uniform and a hat with the words 'Milkman,' but his face immediately told me he was not human. Instead of normal eyes, there were two black holes with two little white dots as pupils and a black void as a smile.

*Sighs* "Here we go again," I thought as I scooted closer to the desk. He handed me all his documents, and I checked them over. I noticed the ID number was wrong, so I looked at the doppelganger. "Hey buddy, um, your ID number is wrong, but hey, you got everything else right," I said. I don't know if it was my imagination, but I think I saw him become happier. I returned his ID and threw the entry permit in the trash. "Well, buddy, since I have discovered the error, you could either leave on your own, or I can call the D.D.D.," I said, waiting for his decision. For the first time, he spoke.

'Francis' - “Hoon”

I blinked a few times. "Huh?" I said as I looked at him.

'Francis' - *happy* Hoon!“

I slowly nodded, and he took his ID and left. "Huh?" I said one last time before getting on my phone, trying to find a way to understand what the doppelganger said.

The clock struck 10, and I was dying of boredom. My phone died, and I was hungry, since the only things in the fridge were water and a bowl of fruit. I could feel my soul leaving when I saw the possibly real Frank or Fernando or whatever his name is!

He got close to the window, handed me his documents, and greeted me. I got up and started to read his documents.

Francis - “Mmm, long day?“

*looking at the ID* “..6, mm? Oh yeah, more than a long day. This lady didn't have any food when she said she did!" I said angrily. He gave me a small smile.

Francis - “Yeah, she's like that. Actually, it's probably better if you bring your own food after all. She only comes here to collect rent or pay the doorman.”

I stopped and looked at him with an 'Are you serious' face. He only chuckled, and I let out a sigh. I then slammed the green button. “This is why none of her doormen last. Actually, I don't care anymore. If those two brats don't arrive right now, then I'm leaving!” I said angrily. He only chuckled while grabbing his papers and entering. I locked the door and was about to start gathering my things when those two pretty models came in. The one in the yellow dress approached me first.

“Agh, just get over here, you two. I don't care anymore,” I said as I saw Selenne smirk at me, which made me angry. “You know, I had 6 or 7 doppelgangers today. I think the D.D.D could probably deal with the two that I have right now,” I said angrily. Selenne only bit her bottom lip, clearly understanding what I meant and what would happen if she said anything.

I pressed the green button and let them go in. After that, I grabbed my things and left. “I swear I'm going to eat a very big meal once I get back home,” I thought as I got into my car and drove away.

[saturn-scribbles]

it's a light in a room with a multicolored ceiling

[id: digital drawing of a woman standing in front of a window with a white curtain. she has pale skin, glasses, and brown hair in a bun, and she is meant to resemble one of the women in the music video for quadeca's "u tried that thing where ur human." the text "it's time to give up..." is written across the top. /end id]

personal rambling about this song under the cut:

i listened to this album after i had recently broken up with my girlfriend and while i didn't really get the appeal of this song at first, the music video made me go insane because it feels like someone looking back at all their happy memories with a partner and then letting go. this song perfectly describes how i feel sometimes, when i'm sick of trying to pull my life together, sick of trying to reach out and spend time with my friends and make plans for the future, and yeah, i just want to become a seagull or something and forget about all this bullshit. i tried to be human, and for a while it worked, and i had a lot of fun but it was ultimately never going to last. on a similar note "easier" also really resonated with me for the same reason. "maybe i'm not in love...it's just the thought of you, sometimes it's not enough" yeah. exactly. quadeca knows how to appeal to the sad lesbians

[pielove123clan]

assuming you are reblogging the f/o ask memes because you would like to talk about your f/os :3c very sorry if u r not :c

🦷💌🖇️ -the horror one

🎒🍒 -the misc one

Yeah your right. I do want to. I don't know who this is but my f/o is Ryoshu. Answers are under the cut, nothing nsfw, I just felt like it. Thank you for reading!

🦷 does your f/o bite?

Absolutly. Yeah she does. I bite too. I bite more.

💌 would your f/o stalk you? what would be the gut dropping signs that you're being stalked? how would your special freak let you know? OR, would you stalk your f/o and how would they find out?

No, Id try to stalk her but she'd notice immeditely because she's really perceptive when it comes to that sort of thing. When I get very excited, I stomp and make loud foot steps. She'd give me the stink eye and if she was in a particularly bad mood, I bet Ryoshu would directly walk up to me and either take the odachi to my neck or slap me. Or threaten violence. Or maybe just grab me and then expose that I am there, in the area and then I would get very embarrassed for making a scene.

🖇️ how did you and your f/o meet if you've thought about it?

I've thought about this and I've told some of my friends but I've been thinking of doing a project moon au of my general self insert oc Lily. It's not the best explanation but yeah. The au version is an abnormality based off the Aztec god Huēhuecoyōtl. The explanations are either:

Found in the Mirror Dungeon and the abnormality somehow follows the Limbus crew out of the Mirror Dungeon and she simply (im thinking of playing around with the gender of the abnormality but im just using she for now because that's my gender) won't go back so it's agreed to store the abnormality in some other room within the corridor and for some reason, it has a particular liking to Ryoshu?

The abnormality was found outside an old Lobotomy facility wandering around and the bus crew has to deal with it.

In the Mirror Dungeon, specifically Ryoshu gets an EGO gift and it doesn't go away outside the Mirror Dungeon but the abnormality is within the EGO gift

Any interaction with the two exist inside a void and seperate reality with no context.

🎒- What is your f/o’s ideal pet? Would you want to take care of that type of animal together?

I have no idea. Cats or raccoons maybe? Actually, it can depend on the ID. Me, I don't want animals (birds are tempting but message me directly, any of you, if you want a bird rant. TLDR: Their an exotic animal that shouldn't be pets. Any bird ownner worth their salt would tell you DO NOT GET A BIRD.) I mean, Ryoshu cannonically tried to get a bird both in the book and in Limbus. I can at least confidently say I am the best bet with taking care of a bird but at the same time, If she doesn't want to put any work on the birds, I will do my best to re-home them. Birds are a lot of work. I'm already kind of stressed of inhereting my parrots when my mom dies. They hate my guts.

🍒- What is your f/o’s music taste like? How does it differ from your own?

Hmm. Her music taste feels rough, metalic. Its easy to say she'd be into metal music but I think she'd also be to some slower songs. I'm bad at describing music. Experimental music might be something she'd look into. What Ryoshu wouldn't be into would be things country music, not much into rap, or songs with non-sense lyrics like that Yummy song by Justin Beaver?

I have some random person on tumblr's Ryoshu playlist and they put Ghost Busters and, yeah. Yeah, I can see Ryoshu listening to Ghost Busters. It's got that flavor, that funk, that style. Time For Love is also in the same playlist and I've imagined Ryoshu listening to that, not for the message but the timbre of the vocalist. For a fact, her standards for music are high.

My music taste is all over the place. Some songs she'd like, some she wouldn't. Whenever I listen to folk music, she'd think it to be boring. I think we can both enjoy PinocchioP and Pinkshift together. IDKHTFM and Bear Ghost might be too prep-y for her. Touhou Arrangements are natually a mixed bag and so are Mili songs.

The moment Ghost Busters plays and her ears hear Vinesauce Joel go, "I AM THE RAT MAN" any device being used to play music will get cut in two. She doesn't appreciate Vinesauce Joel's magnum opus of the same shitty midi of the Ghostbuster's theme uttilized over and over. It's ruined the song for her.

[walriding]

character info sheet.

Name. Miles Luis Upshur Ramírez

Name meaning. Miles -- Latin, soldier. Luis -- Spanish, famous warrior or renowned fighter. Upshur -- English, literally just means 'from the upper shire', but the fun fact significance is that Upshur was the middle name of the famous American journalist Bob Woodward. Ramírez -- Spanish, wise / renowned ruler / counselor

Alias.( ses ). Fun Mount Massive nicknames: the Host, the Apostle, the Witness, Little Pig, buddy, etc. As far as actual aliases, he's used various combinations of his four names on fake IDs before -- i.e. Luis Upshur, Miles Ramírez, etc.

two pictures you like of your character.

The money shot, the big cryptid moment, the only third person view we canonically have of Miles:

2. Probably what I consider to be the definitive Oscar-as-Miles photo, one of the things I saw and was instantly assured of my FC choice. It might sound stupid but Oscar is such an irrevocable part of Miles to me. I can't see him any other way, and having such a strong visual representation of him has always been a huge help in making him feel real for all these years:

three headcanons you never told anyone. Disclaimer that I have probably mentioned all of this at some point but it's been seven years of writing this guy and I fear I'm out of completely new material lol

He's never been much of an exercise buff but Miles used to be into running. He had a set circuit when he lived in DC and tried to keep a consistent schedule even when traveling for work. Never got to marathon level but did a lot of 5 and 10Ks, even a half marathon here and there. But it's not something he does anymore largely because there's... really no point. One of the benefits of being possessed and also kinda dead is you don't need to workout! Yaaaaay! Unfortunately without the endorphins and the satisfaction of exertion, running has lost its luster.

Prior to Mount Massive, Miles had a long-term boyfriend from college until they were in their late 20s. The last couple years of it were a tumultuous on-and-off-again relationship that started to deteriorate after he lost his staff reporter job and had to travel more. Prop 8 meant that same sex marriage was off the table, but they talked about engagement and building a serious life together. If Miles hadn't lost his job he probably would've proposed. But, then, if he hadn't lost his job a lot of things would've been different.

Miles is genuinely obsessed with roadside tourist traps -- giant balls of twine and other objects, weird architecture, fake alien sites, that sort of thing. The kitschier the better. If you're roadtripping with him and he spots a funky sign, he's pulling over.

three things your character likes to do in their free time.

Listen to music -- he's almost always got tunes on in the background but will sit down and really get absorbed in an album when he can.

Read -- mostly current events articles, sometimes a good nonfiction book.

Drive -- loves driving around the middle of nowhere to clear his head, even though it's not quite the same without the Jeep (rip).

three people your character loves.

Not technically a person, but the Walrider. Judge him if you want, but after a decade he's accepted that they're fucked up soulmates that were always meant to be <3. It's been a slowburn enemies to lovers journey, but over time he's adapted and stopped hating it for things that weren't really its fault. He's gone from denial to acceptance to tolerance to feeling genuine affection for the Swarm. Maybe it's too complicated to really define as love, but he can't think of a better word.

@mslangermann in some form in all verses always.

People with conviction. People who stand up for themselves and the things they believe in. People who are thoughtful and who care about something bigger than themselves.

two things your character regrets.

Not being a better son and brother before everything went to shit. His life choices and the prideful stubbornness with which he committed to them drove a wedge between himself and his parents, which trickled down into a strained relationship with his sisters. In hindsight, they were just worried about him and only wanted what was best for him -- but he was too absorbed with his career and trying to piece it back together to see that. He regrets arguing with them so much. He regrets not making the most of the time he had when he didn't know it was running out.

Somewhat verse specific, but he very deeply regrets what happened with @mslangermann's husband Blake after Temple Gate. Murkoff picked him out of the wreckage and brought him to another facility -- Miles found him while trying to dig up whatever he could about the cult. Blake was completely catatonic, and probing around in his mind revealed that there was nothing left of him mentally, either. Rather than leave him to suffer in Murkoff's hands, Miles elected to put him out of his misery. And still hasn't told Lynn. He doesn't regret doing it -- truly, there were no options that would have saved Blake -- but he regrets not being honest with her. He also blames himself a bit for not finding him sooner and possibly preventing tragedy.

three phobias your character has.

the dark

confined spaces

heights

tagged by : @demcnsinmymind ty!!! tagging: @cyberpawn, @slidethirtysix, @paramnesias

[the27percent]

YOUR MUSE'S INVENTORY. [original meme from @treasurechestrpmemes​.]

rules: list the things your muse carries in their pockets or bags in their every day life. (optional: explain their significance.) repost, don’t reblog.

POCKETS.

fingerless black gloves - if atieno doesn't have them on, these are contained in their pockets. it's an easy to access accessory and they feel a certain kind of presence in putting them on.

casual cosmic shards/minerals/rocks - they pick up all kinds of weird little rocks and things as a part of their constant movements throughout the universe. they are glad to share these with a friend or someone they meet, just because they knew these are rarities and they exactly where to find them

occasional snacks - although atieno doesn't really need to eat, sometimes they will just carry an energy-bar or some kind of weird snack with them in the area, just so that they have a thing to bite on when they are bored, and thinking about where they want to go next.

custom carved knife - it's something they've forged from incredibly dense material, embedded with a personal power - that can cut and tear through whatever they need at a given moment. it's formidable it's flexible. it has somewhat 'spider-y' imagery on it for reasons only they seem to be privy to.

wallet/pouch thing - it's probably not a formal wallet, but it holds a little currency of varying types. a card connected to a distance account that they have set up and take care of over the years. also contains an 'id' but maybe not one that would be easily recognized. they know they are a walking issue. how much they genuinely care seems to vary. it's a dark blue bag with silvery streaks embedded across it.

a few hair-ties. they sometimes like to tie their hair up. and they need a few reinforcements on hand just in case something happens.. and they need to tie their hair up again real quick.

communication device - it is ... not strictly a cell phone. it often operates like one. and they can make calls and texts. but ... the sheer range in how it reaches out and how effective it is .. clearly is beyond the tech that is often available on earth. they have an update every... few years or so. they have a regular source that they collaborate on updates with .. it's a very durable piece, and it has a few little space-y charms on it. one of the more recent updates allows them to listen to music - so they indulge in all the moor mother, funkadelic, missy, nina simone, max roach, pharoah sanders, death, pure hell, living colour and .. so many others they could possibly get their hands on. it's been a nice, nice update.

BAG.

when a bag is spotted on atieno - it's often a black or dark blue small messenger bag or backpack. even when it's not there.. it's probably not far. results of pocket realm access and all that.

black and blue notebook with a pen or two. or three(they like pens) - atieno takes a lot of notes about their surroundings, their journeys. they take the time to process their thoughts, emotions - using a combination of languages and tongues that often would confound anyone trying to read their writing. and yet it would blur together - images, stories, feelings could be evoked in what they are writing. they take a lot of time for documentation even if it may never really get seen. also the better a pen's ink flows, the better. they are always seeking that next level flow. so to speak.

headphone-equivalent - they've always.. enjoyed the over-ear sensation more than anything else. although they do have a few ear buds they use for convenience. if they are alone, they will take the time to relish in the sounds of an over ear, surrounding experience of music and sound.

hair-wrap - when they are resting in their more 'human-ish' form they do tend to wrap up their locs for convenience. it only really makes sense. they've tried a few varieties over the years and developed their preferences. a lot of dark blue, purple, black - starry, gothic, images show up in their design choices

books! - atieno is usually carrying a book - often about history of civilizations across the universe, the world, music history, about marginalized groups- they had been on a black arts movement kick recently because of their distant relative, z who was was deeply inspired by it. they also read poetry, literary criticism and satirical books from across the universe - along with scifi, horror. and maybeee the occasional romance. you didn't hear them mention that though.

an extra top - often a button down shirt or loose blouse. sometimes they just don't want to be bothered with people noticing them wearing fishnet tops so they will throw something over it to give themself another layer. may incorporate a scarf as well depending on the temperature of the environment they are in. not because they are cold (they don't seem to mind cold at all), but.. just to be a bit more uh 'subtle' sometimes.

personal gift - this tends to rotate from time to time, atieno keeps varying gifts from others at their little hidden cluster hideaways that they have. but they like keeping small items on them to remind them of a person or place, or for the sake of comfort. it's nice for them to fidget with and appreciate about their connections.

tagged: @imsobrooklyn @tximidity

tagging @bewitchingbaker @oddlies [for muse of choice] @dethqveen @moonspower

[iveofficiallygonemad]

What about that gay little musician (Klavier I think is his name) from AA for the character asks!!

Jdoxowkxixjs I love the way u phrased this SO much!!!!

Yes his name is klavier which means piano in German which he 100% knew when he picked it out! He is canonly gnc af and dresses in the nonbinary colors. Klavier is a they/he in my heart although I have a seen transfem klavier which I also love and adore.

Sexuality hc: Klavier is a bi icon, could u see him wearing heart shaped glasses? Yes

Also he's ace! And canonly wears an ace ring!

[ID: A fullbody of Klavier stands in the center of the screen, hands on his hips. He has long blonde hair in a twist, a purple blazer, and a black button down and pants. On his left is the ace flag (back, grey, white, purple) and on his right the nonbinary flag (yellow, white, purple, black). Both of these are colorpicked off of him. On the bottom left is a image of Klavier pointing to the right with a ringed hand. On the right is a closeup of him pushing up his shades with the middle finger, which has a silver ring on it. End ID]

Ship: THEE klavier ship is klapollo, listen they are SO!!!

NOTP: not really applicable cuz klapollo is so prevalent? I'm open to other ships w him in it (assuming characters r close in age). I guess maybe him and ema (bcuz I think they'd only work if in a poly w polly) and tbh I think they’d be more fun as worsties

Random hc: I love klavier sm I feel like ive seen every post abt him and don’t have any original thoughts that haven’t been said before but, I hc him as having OCD. This is mostly just based off of our interactions with him during Guitar's Serenade.

Also, I’m aware this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t think he had a crush on Apollo when he first met him! Like I do find that trope fun and silly, but looking at his character Klavier would never fall for someone at first sight, and definitely not someone he’s as suspicious about as Apollo [he accused his brother of Murder]. Klavier is SO So meticulous and need to have all the facts figured out beforehand. I truly believe he needs something to be loud and messy and BAD at to vent with because he tries SO hard to keep everything under wraps at all times. Get the man a buncha brightly colored paints he can go ham w!!! Let him blast music in his lonely studio apartment and head bang and belt songs and dance badly where no one can see!!! Let him learn to take up space authentically in his own damn house!!

General opinion overall: He is SO charismatic and blorbo-able! He seems carefree but is Not in any sense of the word. He makes you think he wears his heart on his sleeve but it is hidden under SO many layers, getting him to trust you is going to be SO much work. He puts EVERYTHING he’s got into his passions and by god he’s gotta make sure he’s got everything Just Right. He’s such a layered character and its hard to pick out his thoughts, also they created a character who is just SO interesting when you pair him with literally any character. Like he and apollo are such opposites how would they function together? What the hell was the Gavin brother’s relationship Actually like? I think abt this all the time. Also like, him and Wright actually became more similar characters due to his disbarment, but also That past affects his relationship with Ema too! Also how the hell did he cope (did he cope???) with the personal betrayals he suffered in AJ?? Also what’s his relationship with the other prosecutors in the office???? Does he have offscreen friends or did he really lose everyone? I am unable to be succinct over Klavier but it boils down to:

He has the range! He acts silly and carefree but is so NOT! Which gives you so much to explore

Also tagging @kingdomofbrokenhearts bcuz u also sent in an ask abt him, and @sailormaya bcuz they are the CEO of Klavier Gavin and know all the facts. Also if you wanna read a klapolli fic where klav Doesn’t fall in love at first sight and has The biggest bi panic, highly recommend: this fic!

[changingplumbob]

New Goth Household: Chapter 2, Part 2

Keira has been crushing on Marta since she first saw her in the music suite below the library, but being a loner she struggles to communicate her feelings. Dina gave birth to twins after Mortimer met that meteor…

TW Brief mention of past emotional abuse

Keira and Marta meet up, grow closer, and Keira extends an invitation to the halloween party. Alexander and James enjoy some time alone. What remains of the Goth family (excluding Dina's newborns) meet up to usher in Halloween.

So alone Keira head to Pepper's Downtown Strip where she gives Marta a call.

Marta: Hola

Keira: Hey, it's Keira

Marta: Si, I saw your name

Keira: Oh, right

Marta: Everything okay

Keira: If you're not busy I thought we could have a catch up at Pepper's

Marta: Si, give me a few minutes

Keira: Sure

Marta: I hope I'm not late

Keira: Can't be late if we never set a time

Marta: Gracias

Keira: How have you been, I haven't seen you in the music suite lately

Marta: My idiot ex finally realised I was using his ID to access campus and took it back

Keira: Oh. He did...

Marta: Sorry, let's not talk of him

Keira: I mean, I wouldn't like you thinking you couldn't talk to me about something

Marta: He really wasn't that interesting. But maybe there are some things you should know

Keira: Come on, tell me

While Keira tried to put on a happy face, her heart sank. It seemed like Marta was straight.

If Keira couldn't romance her she could at least be a good friend and listen, right?

Marta: He seemed really nice. We had a, a whirlwind romance. Before I knew what was happening, we were living together

Keira: Sounds nice

Marta: It may have seemed like it, but it was not

Keira: What do you mean

Marta: It was not much at first, just a joke here and there at my expense, I thought with Simlish as my second language I was being over sensitive

Keira: But you weren't

Marta: I was not. Everyday it was little things, chipping away at my confidence, spooking my friends, laughing when I hurt myself

Marta: Finally enough was enough and I left

Keira: He hurt you

Marta: Only on the inside, I am stronger now because of it

Keira: That's why you're always telling me not to talk myself down

Marta: Si

Keira: Has he tried getting you back

Marta: Sometimes

Keira: So, got any guys in your sights now

Marta: *laughs* No, no. I think I'll stick to girls for a while, like you

Keira: Like- like me?

Marta: You like girls, no

Keira: I... do. Yes... mm hmm

Marta: Good, a body like yours should not be wasted on a man

Keira could feel herself blushing at Marta's words.

This conversation was suddenly going in a direction Keira had not expected and she tried to regain herself.

Keira: Are you always so forward

Marta: Do you not like compliments

Keira: No, I like compliments as much as the next girl

Marta: I apologise if I made you uncomfortable

Keira: I'm not uncomfortable

Keira: But since we're on the subject you have to know you're a knockout

Marta: Gracias but you are changing the subject from you

Keira: What about me

Marta: You really do not like to talk yourself up, do you

Keira: I know ex's are bad conversation but since you told me about yours... mine cheated on me because I wouldn't woohoo her back in high school

Marta: She was loca

Keira: You know her?

Marta: I do not have to. Cheating on you would be loca

Keira: I... Thanks

Marta: Right answer

Keira: *laughs* So, um, tomorrow is Halloween

Marta: Si

Keira: My roommates are throwing a party, and there'll be a karaoke machine. Will you come to it?

Marta: You want me to sing in front of people

Keira: Half of them will be too wasted to notice, but yeah, I like hearing your voice

Marta: If you want me there, I'll be there

Keira: Oh, it's dress up, so you'll need a costume

Marta: I'm sure I can think of something by then

Keira: So tomorrow then

Marta: Tomorrow

Keira: I'll text you the address

Marta: Adios

As Marta pulled Keira in for an embrace she felt a weight lift from her chest. She had tried to convince herself she didn't care if Marta was interested in her, but holding her close she knew that this was exactly what she wanted.

Keira: You feeling any better

Alexander: Yes. James gave me some tea and sent me to nap, now I'm all good

While James made some pumpkin stew the students sat and finished off the homework they had left. Finishing it today would mean they could properly enjoy Halloween and their party.

Joey was the first to finish his coursework. Satisfied he'd done enough work today he opened the Mix & Mingle app and checked which women nearby were cool for a casual hook up. After finding one he went outside to let her in, worried she'd think the mansion address was him catfishing her.

Nala: You really live here

Joey: It's technically my friends house but yes

Nala: And you're so young, normally when people say 20 on the app they're actually 30

Joey: Don't mistake my youth for inexperience though, I have some skill

Nala: Is that so

Joey: Come upstairs and see

As normal, Joey checked before getting intimate that Nala understood he wouldn't develop romantic feelings. He had no interest in woohooing someone who wanted to prove differently. Luckily she felt the same. They got to it and Joey's count raised to four. Again, like normal, he took a quick photo.

After being sick Alexander had a lot of coursework left so sent James upstairs to nap, promising to join him when he could. Technically he didn't have to get a degree, he'd get enough money in inheritance and marriage, but he knew is mother would want him to get one. Eventually he climbed upstairs.

He didn't like waking James up but his fiancé insisted that he always wake him when he got to bed.

Alexander: Wake up sweets

James: Hmm

Alexander: I'm here

James: Did you get your homework done

Alexander: Yes Mr Ryan. Can I give you a massage to boost my grade

James: I'll have you know I'm immune

Alexander: Immune to my charms

James: Never, just immune to grade tampering

Alexander: I know, I'm not my father

James: Thank the watcher for that

Alexander: Now are you sure you're okay with hosting a wild college party

James: This is our home, I want you happy here

Alexander: I'm happy with you

James: As I am with you, but I don't want you cheated of the college experience because you're tethered to me

Alexander: I want to be tethered to you

James: The wedding is this week, think of the Halloween party as a bachelor party love

Alexander: Promise me if you get tired you'll rest, okay

James: Yes

Alexander: Because I want as much time with you as possible

James: What for exactly

Alexander: Accompany me to bed and find out

Alexander needs to be careful not to let James overexert himself, but they still manage to have a good time.

Dina: Are you here to see your siblings

Alexander: I don't care about your suspicious offspring, what are you wearing?

Dina: I'm dressed as a zombie. Your brother loved doing the make up

Alexander: Whatever, can I take him to Cassandra's for Halloween

Dina: Today only, you bring him right back after or so help me

Halloween time! I almost lost my mind when I found toddler costumes for Savannah and Mercedes that matched their honeybee and little ladybug nicknames. Of course we had to make sure each toddler got a copy of the photo for their futures. And couldn't visit without seeing Savannah throw a fuss.

James chatted to Rahul and Cassandra while Alexander said hi to his nieces. He gave each of them a family kiss. In response they autonomously gave him a loving hug. Little cuties!

Previous Part ... Next Part

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

hi, i go by kaso (he/she). requesting for the twst and ror boys (with the exception of idia and leona)

im mostly on the neutral centerpoint when it comes to myself. im an introvert. im calm, mellow, down-to-earth. im also observant as i pick up small things n remember them when the time is right. also to js sniff out peoples intentions but its more of the first most of the time.

im a soft-spoken guy. usually im relaxed and unshaken, though my motivation seems to come on a whim ebery other day so i may seem out of it at times. its easy to keep my composure for most things and keep my emotions in check.  i have tendencies to be passive-aggressive when provoked and im kinda stubborn. but im chill and friendly.

its easy for me to pick up from setbacks. im naturally intelligent but i dont really study to keep it.. its not like i dont want because im quite self-aware its just the lack of motivation. im also quite clever when the time comes.. cant explain it but its kinda easy to play the cards right when its laid out in my favour.

i may have an avoidant attachment of the sort im not sure.

when it comes to humour, im genuinely such a corny person and its always a hit or miss for my jokes. its also tinged with satire and sarcasm most if not all the time. i love to laugh and will find anything funny that might come out of your mouth.

i enjoy indulging in my interests, listsning to music, drawing and other things. i dont really have set things i enjoy, i just do whatever makes me happy tbh. i love having fun but it drains me. id try everything once if i could to make more of the moment.

i think my greatest fear is being unable to uphold to what ive created and not achieving my dreams.. im not so sure if it truly bothers me though. i experience small emotional highs and lows so maybe thats why.

i cant tolerate critical people who need to call you out for every flaw or people that cant keep their mouth shut. not chatty or talkative people im talking abt those who gossip. trust is a really big thing for me and its honestly a huge turn off.

i love with actions rather than words. i try and take my time with someone and treat them with the best care i can muster. im very passionate abt the things and people i love and i feel and care deeply even if i show it terribly. its in the little things. my love languages are quality time and parallel play.

im not sure if i have a type if im being honest.. never really thought hard on enough.. is not being an ass to other count?? like idk bare minimum wins i suppose.

thanks ^_^

Hello Kaso! I pair you with: Silver!

Calm, laid back and observant, silver is open minded when it doesn't come to the protection of Malleus and likes his quiet. Though he doesn't mind company either. He's likely and prone to falling asleep though which does make him miss things here and there, so your observant mind comes in handy.

While he may or may not be able to draw himself he finds listening to music with you while you draw is a nice atmosphere to be around as well as being with another human, not that he doesn't like fae of course. Silver oftentimes does go in and out of sleeping, though he tries his best to stay awake when the time calls for it.

Shown to be a good cook under supervision he enjoys bringing you some home cooked food he'd made, and thankfully didn't let Lilia touch. His favorite thing about you is your soft spoken nature and calm personality, even if you do have your times of sarcasm and stubbornness. Silver is a person that respects your opinions and isn't one I can see gossiping and spreading rumors either.

I can see him being more introverted than extroverted and understand your need to have your social battery recharge at times. Silver is a hardworking individual especially when it comes to being a Knight, though he enjoys being able to rely on you even if it's something small and hopes you can do the same by confiding in him. Silver finds your cleverness interesting as well as your natural intelligence.

His favorite thing to do with you is spend quality time with you. As friends or something more he doesn't mind as long as you're by his side.

Character matchups found here

[stars-tonight]

Hello hello! May I please request a long romantic matchup? My pronouns are she/her and I would preferably like to be paired with a guy <33

My ideal partner is someone taller than me and someone who is pretty mature (at least mentally LOL). Im a pretty serious person but I also don’t mind someone who’s a bit childish and fun! Just as long as they can be serious when they need to. Id also really like someone who I can rely on and be myself with! I tend to have a hard time communicating my feelings sometimes so someone who is a great communicator and is able to listen but still remain pretty calm and level headed would be a plus. But overall someone who is able to take care of me well and supports me in whatever I do is all I really ask for :))

As for myself im around 5’3 and my mbti is ISFJ! I have long hair and wear glasses as I am incredibly blind without them. But whenever I’m not home I’m usually wearing contacts! I love fashion and makeup so I’m usually pretty dolled up whenever Im out especially if im with my friends. But aside from that I’m a pretty calm and collected person but tend to get quiet/shy around people I don’t know too well. But once I’m comfortable with them I tend to be a bit loud and a little unhinged. However, I place those close to me very close to my heart. I always wish the best for them and want to protect them and be there for them any way I can :’))

As for hobbies I’m a dancer! I’ve been dancing my entire life and it’s something I really love doing. But whenever I’m not dancing I’m usually listening to music, crocheting (at least attempting to), reading, or spending time with my family and friends! 

As for love languages mine would probably be acts of service. I love seeing someone smile bc of a gift I gave them or if I helped them with something. As for receiving I think it would be physical touch and quality time!

Extras!! if someone where to give me their shirt or hoodie to wear that is literally the key to my heart istg. and extra bonus points if they were willing to come to one of my dance performances or a filming for a dance video to support me :’)) that would quite literally make my heart feel so full ahhh

Thank you so much for in advance and Im so sorry if this was long!! But please take all the time you need and I look forward to ur reply! I hope you have a lovely day/ night <3

-⭐️ anon 

headcanons

🥛 kita i believe is around 5'9

🥛 super mature

🥛 calm, level-headed, definitely a great listener

🥛 doesn't strike me as the type to start conversations but definitely wouldn't hide his thoughts if you asked him

🥛 kita is pretty straightforward so he wouldn't like people who fake their personality

🥛 just be who you are and he'll like you for you

🥛 kita doesn't strike me as a big reader

🥛 he's not opposed to it he's just not avidly doing it like akaashi is

🥛 probably reads nonfiction or self help books

🥛 why do i imagine he reads instruction manuals unironically (him and ushijima)

🥛 tries to summarize the books he reads

🥛 makes a chart:

🥛 "what i've learned and how i can apply it to my life"

🥛 kita's giving love language i imagine is quality time

🥛 he's not a big pda guy

🥛 but will definitely hold your hand

🥛 maybe a quick hug every now and then

🥛 appreciates it when you do things for him but likes it more when you do things WITH him

🥛 like if you can teach him to crochet (or he can peacefully watch you while you do it, he'll probably pick it up anyway) or want to listen to music with him

🥛 it means so much to him that you would do your favorite things with him

🥛 he definitely notices when you feel cold and he'll probably drape his jacket over your shoulders subtly

🥛 won't make a big deal out of it but will let you know he's there for you

🥛 would 100% go to all of your performances to support you

🥛 wouldn't be like hinata or bokuto who would jump up and down and annoy everyone in the audience because they're distracting

🥛 or like tanaka or atsumu who would probably cheer really loud and give you secondhand embarrassment

🥛 he'd just be somewhere he can get a good angle for a video, calmly applauding at the end with a little smile on his face

runner up for you was akaashi keiji!

A/N: there you go ⭐️anon! i love kita so much i aspire to be like him. also i'm a big fan of japan's vb team (my mom is a huge ishikawa fan) and apparently ishikawa said he liked kita in an interview??

[keefwho]

March 06 - 2024 Wednesday

10:31pm

6/10

This morning I took a little time to myself in the shower to clear my mind and hopefully get hungry. I didn't have an appetite but I made soup in a box and ate the whole thing. I had to use the bathroom and it made me a little late to Jared's ride. His car was very small, I felt cooped up in his car. We talked about my feelings and his experiences as well, specifically instances of him getting pissed at people in the military. He mentioned how there are some things he can't talk to his wife about without it actually causing more problems and this is something I learned too. It was more evidence that you need multiple people to compliment different aspects of yourself. Grocery shopping went smoothly, but I forgot to buy french fries. The old lady asked for my ID because of the drinks and I made a joke about not being expired despite my expired ID. On the way back I got to control the music and we chatted some more. I gave him a hug after we got all my groceries in. I put everything away and had to use the bathroom again. It wasn't a fun time and I decided to take another shower afterwards. I shamelessly enjoyed some 'me time' and baked in the hot water. At this point I decided to make today a self care day. When I got out, I sat down and relaxing while watching Forsen play a new Getting Over It sort of game. I ranted to Daisy about what self care meant and started composing a hierarchy of personal struggles to try and identify and relate them to one another. I cut up all the veggies I bought today for freezing and made stew for lunch. I ate the whole thing so I finally had a good meal in me. I sipped on a coke and decided to do a request today while I chatted with Turkey in VR. The conversation was pretty normal and after I finished the drawing, I felt like leaving. I told her that I didn't feel like socializing but what I actually meant was that I want to be social but I only want to talk about the struggles on my mind. She said she was here for it so I opened up about everything and we started talking. Her and her friend gave some very good perspectives and actually started helping me feel better about some things. Also a troll joined us to talk shit but we got him to open up about his problems genuinely too. I left to join Daisy and chill. We watched the last three episodes of Bojack which were very thought provoking and just stacked on to all the thinking I was already doing, in a good way. I felt good watching them with Daisy. I said goodnight to her since she didn't want to bed call. After she went to bed, I tried doing a little Babbdi stream while playing intercom vaporwave like I wanted to try. 1 guy showed up to say something but that was it. It was mostly about playing the game though and maybe using it as an opportunity to voice my thoughts some more. Towards the end I did that but most of it was spent quietly pondering.

~~~

Today after treating myself with some respect, I realized I want to talk about things more often in general. The past couple days have taught me how beneficial it is to open up when things are hard and how willing so many people are to listen. I don't have to put on a front, I can show up with the struggle at full strength. I've learned my cure to loneliness is to choose to not be alone. I also reminded myself about how important positive reinforcement is in general vs directly fighting something. So I'm working that into how I behave differently. Some part of me feels like I'm wearing a mask and that deep down, it's all still the same. Maybe thats true right now, but change takes time. Maybe I'm not going deep enough, I'll have to figure that out.

3 Things That Made Me Happy Today:

Taking some self care time.

Talking with Turkey and her friend about my feelings.

Watching Bojack with Daisy.

[idonthaveissues-ihavevolumes]

Any time I’m told “that’s your mother” or some variation… I feel so dismissed, like my trauma, my experiences aren’t valid, ‘nope, Erin, you need to put that aside and just be a good li’l soldier about it.’ Seriously, that’s what it feels like.

I’ve always skirted around the reality of it with family, especially, because the topic is not something people want to hear or accept or it’s even still socially taboo on some level to discuss s***ide but maybe I need to start actually telling people that say the aforementioned “that’s your blankety-blank” how I was sooooo unbelievably close to TAKING MYSELF OUT of the scenario, no, I’ll say it k***ing myself because of what I was experiencing — the sadness, the drama, trauma, everything, it was too damn much. It was either END ME or run. So I ran.

Four people & the music I was listening to at the time KEPT me here back in 2003.

TW:

.

.

.

And it wasn’t the first time I thought about or even tried ending myself either. Even as far back as childhood, maybe 13 or 14. ME, walking through Target trying to 🔪 my wrist with a jagged fingernail because I just wanted out.

The pain of what I was experiencing was rife even then.

A few other key instances over the years further informed & reinforced me that my decision was sound: theirs is just not energy that I need.

Example: My mother laughed at me when I said “Healthcare is a human right” during our last phone conversation in December 2020. She also in that same conversation roundabout accused me of being a “Holocaust denier” (EX-f***ing-cuse ME! how dare you!?), and she for all intents and purposes/essentially said she doesn’t think of me as “grown-up” because I haven’t birthed any children. I’m 39, coming up on 40, & no bio-kids. To her, that makes me ‘not an adult’ and therefore she “can’t take [me] seriously.”

.

.

I’ve tried to mend some things but it’s just too much. I cannot be a functioning human with that person’s energy in my orbit. Sorry not sorry. I’m apologetic for HOW I enacted my escape because I saw no other way and when I DID broach the subject I got laughed at TWICE. I learned to keep my mouth shut; I was informed by other’s reactions that my chosen way was going to be the only way out.

As stated above, theirs is just not energy I need.

No one will make me feel like my pain and trauma isn’t valid.

[ilovedilfs228007]

I want a person i could fully trust. A person who could hug me and id feel safe. A person who would care about me, love me, say nice things to me. Years ago i thought that it's a psychologist's work but now i know it's not. Oh how disappointed i was. It's quite a long story about my psycologist but i have time. I won't sleep until im exhausted so...

It happened 2 years ago. I told my grandmother i cut myself, i asked her to tell my father. After a long and uncomfortable conversation with my father, he finally decided to make an appointment with a psychologist. I needed a normal psychotherapist, not a gestalt therapist. She said i should draw mandalas and stamp while listening to "shamanic music" (to reduce my anger). I drew 1 or 2 mandalas but i have never done that other shit. It made me just more angry because I looked like an idiot. She never answered any of my questions, she touched me when i wasn't comfortable with it. She said things about my "imaginary friends" i can never forgive. She never showed any emotions and it was the most annoying thing in my life. She said i should visit a psychiatrist and she gave HER FRIEND'S NUMBER. Her psychiatrist friend wasn't any better but then she just gave up and gave my case to an actual child psychiatrist. This woman was the most adequate. She spoke quietly, politely and she answered MY FUCKING QUESTIONS. I was taking antidepressants and tranquilizers. At the same time i continued therapy. I told her i thought my father was a softie AND SHE ASKED MY MUM TO "TALK TO ME ABOUT MY FATHER, BECAUSE I CALLED HIM A SOFTIE" BRO WTF???????? DID U EVER HEARD ABOUT PRIVACY????

My mum wasn't angry, she was... Well, shocked and sad. She swore she didn't know anything else. I have never felt so angry. I was ready to punch her(psychologist) in a face. I phoned her the next day, when i was alone on the street. "i DoNt wAnT u To tHiNk ThAt i bEtRaYeD u" so what did u do? "I dIdNt kNoW i WaSnT aLlOwEd tO sPeAk aBoUt tHe mAiN tOpIcS oF oUr sEsSiOnS" IT WASN'T A TOPIC U SHIT, U FUCKING QUOTED ME. It was the first time i ever yelled at somebody that much older than me. Im proud i didn't curse. It was the point of no return, she was so annoying and she fucking told my mother i say shit about her husband. I thought I was going to choke her the next session. But no, actually, she asked me to write down some answers and i just answered like:

No. Nothing. Idk. No.

She started to say some shit that if I didn't want to be here i could take my money and go. Im proud i took the money and went away to my favourite cafe to drink lemonade. My mum wasn't happy because the day before i said that i will go there 3 more times. But hehe, no. But it wasn't a big deal. Fuck i still feel pure anger when i think about it. When she tried to diagnose my transgenderness by "why don't you like being a girl" and "draw a boy and a girl. Now, stand on each picture and say which is more comfortable". Sha always asked me to draw but she never gave me the materials i wanted. She always gave me dirty old gouache and a dirty old brush. And when i asked her to give me pencils or something like that she said "no, u have to stop controling things" fuck u, i hated those paintings, they never described my feelings right BECAUSE I CAN'T DRAW WITH PAINTS.

Maybe i was the problem there but im still so fucking angry.

[softsailor]

vent regression thoughts;

(also a vent about my regression)

I've been having quite a difficult time regressing lately. (and by lately i mean the last year or so)

and it's been hard. like, really hard?

and it's been so long since i had an actual caregiver. like, at least two years, probably a little bit more.

and it hadn't bothered me for a while, i just figured i was sort of "growing out of" regressing.

i thought of becoming just a caregiver so many times, but had been so nervous about trying to be there for someone again. because every time it's ended with a broken heart, always mine. and if it's happened 5 or 6 times before, surely it'll happen again? right?

im not sure. i can only hope not, i guess.

i guess im scared that I'll just do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing. or whatever i did wrong the previous 5 times. I've never found out or been told what it is.

i love caregiving. it makes me so happy to take care of a little one, and knowing that they trust me enough to watch them. i love feeling useful and wanted.

i don't have anything else to say about caregiving, it's truly such a lovely thing.

just, so much has happened? and sometimes i want to be so so small, and just forget about everything for a while. but i either can't at all, or just vent regress and get even more upset. so i had decided to just, not be small for a while.

of course, there's sometimes i can't help it, and it's just involuntary, but even then i try to keep to myself and just be alone.

but-i don't want to be alone. i want someone to comfort me, so i don't always have to do it myself..

originally, just writing about caregiving and regressing was enough, but over time it's sort of-made me sad? which i feel so stupid about, because I'm the one that writes it all out! so why would I be sad about it? the whole point is to make people happy with my writing! I'm just writing these fictional characters being happy and loving each other, and it's making me feel like I'm missing out.

I'm not trying to make it sound like i hate writing. i love writing! i love the stories i write! i love them all so much, and even base most of the caregiving off of myself and what I'd do and say.

i just wish some of the things i write, wouldn't just be fiction.

like-id love to be comforted after crying my eyes out, or comforted after my plans for the day are ruined! most of myself is projected onto the same character, my small side and caregiver side.

of course, i keep things as happy and cuddly as i can in my stories. even if I'm more than aware that regression isn't always happy and fun. i do it because I'm nervous that I'll make it too depressing otherwise.

it's just been so long since I've regressed and enjoyed it-that I'm starting to feel like it's just going to be like this from now on. maybe i deserve it?

maybe if i just repress the urge to regress it'll eventually go away?

it's worked before.

I'd just rather not regress at all, if i can't do it without becoming all teary and emotional every time.

missing a mama that i haven't had in two years. waiting for her to come back, which she never does. telling her that I'll be better this time.

missing all the sweet names i used to be called. prince, puppy, sweetheart, baby, little one-and the baby talk!

I've tried to distract myself when vent regressing, watching something, listening to music, playing a game. but it's just not the same as having someone else to talk to.

but I'm so nervous to try and get a caregiver. it's so hard to try and reach out, and become comfortable with someone enough to regress. and being nervous the whole first couple times you do, not even regressing fully because you're scared you'll be too needy.

it just seems impossible to regress sometimes. and even more impossible to regress happily. i don't understand what i'm doing wrong.

[moonlit-imagines]

Misbehavior (Part 1)

Jason Todd x batkid!reader

warnings:

a/n: tysm anon!!

prompt: anonymous: “Hello Lacey! Hope your doing great! Could I please request a bat family x batsis!reader where the reader is Kind of the middle child (I was thinking older than Damian but younger than Tim) and she’s always forgotten and in the back. Maybe some scenarios can be that no one listens when she talks or they forget to invite her to do stuff. So then one day she acts up in school like maybe punching someone for no good reason because she’s craving attention but instead of Bruce showing up to get her Jason shows up and he sees that she’s actually really sad and starts to question her until she tells him everything and maybe spills some tears and it ends with just Jason comforting her and cheering her up. Just some soft Jason for my soul! Also have a great day and I hope that you feel better and more motivated now after your break! 😘”

part 2

No matter what you did, none of your deeds went unnoticed. Good or bad.

You always heard how Dick was so independent, the one everyone should use as an example.

You always heard how Barbara could do it all, she never failed to impress.

You always heard how Jason was reckless, someone who needed to get his act together.

You always heard how Tim was such a prodigy, he was one of a kind.

You always heard how Steph was so determined, she had such amazing goals.

You always heard that Cass was perfect, they’d never change a thing about her.

You always heard that Duke was so strong, he’d never give up no matter what stood in his way.

You always heard that Damian was dangerous, a kid that needed to be guided.

But what about you? What did they hear about you? Nothing. No one ever spoke of you, they didn’t have the time. It seemed as if you were just unimpressive, there wasn’t one thing that needed to be mentioned. Stuck in the middle of a bunch of bats and birds, no way to stand out in the crowd.

Maybe not in a mask or a cowl, a dress or a suit, behind a computer or among the darkness, but there was one place you couldn’t be ignored...

You sat at your desk, picking at old tape with the tip of your fingernail. The teacher had nothing interesting to say, so what was the point of being here? What made Gotham Academy so special that you just had to attend this place?

The uniform was overkill, the classes went nowhere, the students were too preppy, and you didn’t have a single thing in common with anyone here.

Anger was starting to bubble inside you as you continued your internal self-loathing. Your mind was only focused on the negative, but it was shifting from school back to home.

No one was ever there for you, not even on patrol. You’d called for backup several times on missions and nearly lost it all when you had to go in alone. If it were anyone else, a teammate would have met them in a heartbeat.

Your plans were always overshadowed whenever you tried to set up a mission or even just a day off. You wanted cookies? Too bad, Tim wants brownies. You wanted to watch a movie? Too bad, everyone chose a TV show. It was the little things that irked you the most. Half the time, you never even got the memo.

And what about when you all come back from patrol with all sorts of injuries and Alfred comes to patch you up? Well, not you. He’ll run to check on cuts and scrapes. Meanwhile, you had a broken wrist and a black eye.

You’d finally run out of things to pick at around your desk which resorted in you tapping instead. There was a brief bit of zoning out as you remembered the time that Damian’s plan for evading Killer Croc’s attack was to push you in the way. Or the time that Jason hid his guns in your bed for reasons he didn’t care to explain. Or when Dick drank the last of the milk and didn’t tell you until after you poured your cereal. Or when Tim told you that you weren’t fit for the mission he had been planning. Or when Bruce blatantly ignored the story you told out of pure excitement, giving you nothing but a “sounds like you had fun.”

While you were in a horrible daze, you felt a hand on your shoulder that snapped you out of it faster than the Barry Allen. Without even evaluating the situation, your reflexes caused you to turn and twist your classmates arm backwards as he screamed.

“Hey! Stop, ow, that hurts! Stop! Stop it!” You processed his words too late and knew exactly what was coming next.

“Y/N L/N!” You teacher shouted as you drew your hand back. “Dean’s office. Right now.” Her sharp voice sent a chill down your spine, not even the Joker could do that. You’d be able to explain the situation pretty easily, you just didn’t want to make it worse. But there was one ankle that sent you off the edge. Another student tripped you on your way through the aisles, and that student caught a fist to the face. The audience gasped and shouting from your teacher ensued, but you didn’t listen, you’d take the punishment at this point. So you walked right out and headed for the dean’s office without so much as a hall pass.

“Mx. l/n? What’s this about?” Dean Williams was surprised to say the least, you’d never been sent in for discipline before. Was there a certain way to do this?

“Well, I zoned out and some kid behind me grabbed my shoulder, I accidentally twisted his arm.” You retold your story, the abridged version. “But on my way out I punched a kid in the face because he tripped me. That one’s on me.”

“...Well,” the dean frowned at his obligations, but had to go through with some kind of punishment, “I’m going to have to suspend you for physical contact with a student. I’ll call your father to come pick you up.” You shrugged and slouched back in your chair, giving up on any hope of talking your way out of this. It might as well just happen. You listened to the clicking of the buttons on the dean’s phone as he typed in the Wayne Manor phone number, obviously reaching Alfred almost immediately.

“Wayne Manor.” You eard his faint voice through the speaker.

“Hello, this is Dean Williams from Gotham Academy, may I speak to Mr. Wayne? I have his child in my office.” Your dean explained over the phone, peeking back at your for a split second. You were completely unbothered, it was baffling.

“Is it Damian?” You heard him ask, causing an involuntary eye roll.

“Y/N, actually.” There was a long pause before someone else picked up the phone. “Mr. Wayne, this is Dean Williams at Gotham Academy. I have y/n sitting across from me right now, they seemed to have gotten themself into a physical altercation with two separate students, I have no choice but to suspend them.” You heard a deep sigh over the phone, then the handheld piece was handed to you.

“Bruce?” You asked.

“Really? Fighting at school?” He sounded unimpressed. Nothing new, even when you do something new.

“Something like that. Whoops.” He hung up on you right after that, so you handed the phone back and told your dean, “Guess they’ll get me soon.”

“You call your father by his first name?” Dean Williams had nosily questioned.

“I’m adopted.” He obviously didn’t know you as well as your more troublesome sibling, it was time he just minded his business.

After a good thirty minutes of silent waiting while listening to keyboard clacking and papers flipping by the front desk, the office door opened, and to your surprise, it was one of your brothers.

“I’m here for y/n.” He mumbled, signing the piece of paper and showing his ID.

“Alright, Mr. Harper, I just have to check some paperwork really quick...” The receptionist went into your file and checked for your emergency contacts. “You’re all set. Now, y/n has been suspended for two weeks. I suggest you get to the bottom of their little ‘outburst’ before they’re able to come back to school.” It actually pissed Jason off to hear her say that.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” His sarcasm wasn’t subtle. “Come on, kid.” Your brother gripped your arm and led you out of the office, noticing your bitter expression that he couldn’t even rationalize. Was that normal? “So what happened. Bruce just told me to come get you.”

“Of course he did.” You rolled your eyes on the brink of tears, he didn’t even come to get you himself. Jason opened the car door for you and nudged you inside, slamming it once you were clear.

“You better have a good reason,” he warned as he started the engine, “I was in the middle of a poker game.”

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause I’m such an inconvenience.” You were starting to remind him of himself. That was never a good thing.

“Okay, my bad. I didn’t mean it like that.” Jason began speeding down the block, you’d never once seen him obey a speed limit. You’d think someone with a fake ID and a death certificate would want to avoid any run-ins with the cops, but Gotham was just one of those cities.

“Yeah, right.” You reached for the radio knobs and felt Jason’s hand wrap around your wrist.

“No music until you explain yourself.” You fell back into your seat to pout, muttering some curses under your breath. “I won’t tell Bruce or anyone. I swear.”

“I just zoned out. Reflexes.” You bluntly replied.

“What?” He still didn’t have any context to go off of.

“I twisted someone’s arm backwards. Honest mistake.” Jason knew there was more to this story. “But on my way out of the classroom, I punched this kid who tried to trip me. That was on him.”

“As much as I condone payback, you can’t do that at school.” He sighed. “You’ve never been sent home before. That I know of. So why now?”

“Yeah, you know, maybe that’s the issue? You couldn’t tell me if I’ve ever gotten in trouble before. None of you could. You couldn’t tell me a definitive thing about me. When’s my birthday, Jason?” He was at a loss for words. “That’s what I thought.”

“So this was all for attention?” Jason asked. “There’s a hell of a lot of better ways to go about that.”

“Tried them all, this one barely even worked.” You replied with a crack in your voice. “How come none of you care about me? Why am I always looked over? I’m just like the rest of you. I put on that stupid suit every night and kick ass, I get my job done, I get good grades, I’m resourceful, I’m special—” You’d let that last one slip in your rant to your older brother, it shocked him so bad he stopped the car.

“I know what you mean.” Jason stared straight ahead at the empty road. “I felt the same way when I came back. After everyone was used to me being back, it was like nothing ever happened. Bruce just went back to calling me careless, irresponsible.”

“At least you get noticed, Jason. Your identifiable.” You turned to him with a pained look and he risked his confidence to look you in the eye. Once he did, he couldn’t look away. It hurt him to see someone so familiar to himself have tears running down their face because they felt forgotten. No kid should ever have to feel like that. That was why Bruce took him in. That was how Jason became Robin.

“Fuck this.” Jason hit the gas and turned the car around. “We’re getting ice cream. Do you like ice cream? That’s a serious question.”

“I...I guess.” You were somewhat confused by his sudden literal change in direction.

“Good. You’re my kid for today, all my attention goes to you. I’m sure Bruce won’t notice if you’re gone for a few hours.” Jason’s jaw dropped at his last comment. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, you’re right and you should say it.”

taglist: @thatwaspossession // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @kinoko-kai //

[fandom-monium]

i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be? 

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous. 

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about? 

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that. 

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

 "You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance 

[sapiowoman28]

I can, I can't : Part 1 of 3

Pairing: Jaemin x female reader

Gener: best friends to lovers au, smut, fluff

Warning: mentions of sex, masturbation (Female)

Summary: Jaemin and Y/N are part of a group of best friends. One day, things change.....

They called themselves the dropouts. Brought up in good Catholic families, active within the Church community as kids, Catholic school education... the works. They then grew up and stopped going.

It wasn't some group thing were everyone agreed to stop going altogether at the same time. It was more like, one by one, they stopped going.

Jeno was the first to stop, at 15, after his parents got divorced. He became angry and withdrawn. By 16 he was mixing with the wrong crowd - think underaged drinking, partying, It was only after a close brush with the law that he - literally and figuratively - sobered up and decided to focus on healthier pursuits like education and sports. Thankfully too, the old Jeno that everyone knew and love came back.

Then were was Renjun. Renjun was always the one who wasn't really into religion anyway. He was more apt to believing in aliens and ghosts. His mother kept him going for as long as she could. By 18 he was out.

Haechan, as he got older, became a sporadic goer. After moving out on his own to live with the guys and Y/N in an apartment closer to campus, he stopped too.

Y/N? The older she grew, the more she learnt about the importance of gender equality. The more she embraced feminism, the more she found some church teachings hard to swallow.

All was left, of course, was Jaemin. Now Jaemin, he was still a "good boy", faithfully going to Church every Sunday. It wasn't that he was extremely religious. It was more that he had gone to Church every single week all his life. To not go one week felt odd and different.

The good thing was, nobody made fun of him or tried to stop him from going. Jeno even woke him up on Sunday mornings before he went for his 10km runs just so Jaemin would get to mass on time. (Mass is what Catholics call a church service.)

Y/N enjoyed hanging out with her friends. She was like one of the boys. It had always been like that since they were young. Everyone who knew Y/N knew she was not to be messed with. Not only was she capable of kicking anyone's balls, she also had four bros who would come after their ass too. In fact, guys who were interested in dating her would often try to get in good standing with the four guys so life would be easier for them. So it was hardly surprising that Y/N had never had her heart broken.

The problem was, Y/N was the one breaking hearts. Commitment wasn't her strongest suit, and more often than not she'd break off with whoever she was seeing with very trivial reasons, First she was dating Xiaojun. Then 7 months later she broke it off with him because apparently he "sucked at making out". The truth was, Xiaojun was good enough in bed but Y/N wanted to date the more exciting Yang Yang after meeting him at a frat party her gal friends dragged her to and making out with him. So Yang Yang it was. For a while she was happy. But then 10 months passed and Yang Yang was history. Now it seemed, was some guy called Lucas.

"Now, before you guys misunderstand, Lucas is not my boyfriend." Y/N declared over a pizza with Jaemin one Saturday night. "He's just... a friend..."

Jaemin raised his eyebrow. "You mean a friend with benefits? Cos based on what we have to hear every single Friday night, none of us think you guys are friends. Speaking of which.... Jeno wants me to talk to you."

"Let me guess, you lost rock paper scissors. Again. And that's why you're the one speaking to me."

"Well, we have house rules to follow..." Jaemin started, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"Jeno and his stupid house rules." Y/N sighed. "What now? I can't bring Lucas home?"

"It's getting kind of weird for all of us...."

"You guys bring girls home all the time!" Y/N protested.

"I don't." Jaemin said. It was true.

"Jeno does. Haechan does. Even Renjun! Remember that weird Yoga chick he was seeing?"

"But they're not loud. Lucas sounds like he has a loudhailer in his throat and it's weird hearing him......we end up having to use headphones."

"I've tried asking him to tone it down. But he gets too excited when I blow him..." Y/N grinned as Jaemin covered his ears with his hands, not wanting to hear the details.

"Look, Jeno says he appreciates that YOU have gotten less loud since that time you were dating Yang Yang. But Lucas he's just.... too expressive. Can't you do it at his house or something? It's not the moaning as much as the dirty talk, you know?" Jaemin's voice was getting tinier and tinier.

"If Jeno has a problem, why can't he tell me himself?" I know it's not Haechan or Renjun who are complaining. Haechan's always gaming with his stupid headphones on and Renjun's always listening to music on his noise cancelling ones."

Jaemin sighed. "Don't put me in a tough spot, Y/N..."

He looked at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. I'll speak to Lucas. But I'm only doing it cos of you, cos you good Catholic boy and virgin and all."

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "For the last time, Y/N, I'm not a virgin!"

Lucas took the news surprisingly well and he was happy to have her hang at his apartment instead. Which turned out to be a better thing, since his apartment was bigger and his housemates were never around. Y/N wondered why she insisted on making out at her apartment to begin with.

"I'm surprised Jeno was the one with the problem.." Lucas said after they had made out and she was snuggling in his arms.

"He has all these rules. The worst part is he makes Jaemin speak to me instead of telling me directly."

"It makes sense. You and Jaemin are close."

"I'm close to all four of them."

"No no no." Lucas said, "Each of them has a different thing with you."

"Explain, Mr Wong." she said, looking up at him.

"I think Jeno knows both of you have strong characters so he has Jaemin speak to you instead when there's an issue so you guys won't argue. He prefers to keep things light, so the most you're gonna get is Jeno making fun of you for having a thing for foriegn men."

"What about Haechan?"

"Haechan's your gaming bestie. You talk about gaming, and game together. But he'd kick the ass of anyone who gives you trouble."

"I think I'm least close to Renjun."

"I don't think it's that. It's more Renjun is kind of in his own world. He's like that with everyone. But he feels close to you guys."

Y/N was impressed.

"What about Jaemin?"

"Jaemin's like your total opposite. But you guys get each other. I like him. He's a good guy."

"Yeah he's a virgin." Y/N joked.

"He's a good looking guy! Heck, if I was a chick I'd go after him man!" Lucas said, his eyes expressive as always.

"Well, he's a good guy. I've never seen him bring a girl home."

"Come on man, when it comes to hormones, even good guys turn bad."

Lucas was driving her home when she got a call from Jaemin.

"Wassup?"

"Are you alone?" Jaemin asked. He sounded strange. "I need help."

"Are you ok?" Y/N asked. "I'm with Lucas. Where are you?"

"Oh. I'll call someone else..."

"Don't be an idiot, Jaemin. Where are you?"

"Hospital." he said. "Can you come? Just don't tell anyone anything. Not even Lucas."

She found him in a bad state at the hospital. Sitting in a daze, blood stains on his crumpled shirt. Y/N had never seen Jaemin look so small.

"Hey" she half whispered. He looked up.

"I can go now. I got an x-ray done. My nose is not broken. And it's finally stopped bleeding." he said. "I already collected my medicines. Mostly painkillers."

"What happened?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." he said.

"Let's get home and get you out of these bloody clothes. And then you can tell me after you've had a good night's sleep."

"Can i sleep in your room tonight?" he asked. It was an unsual request. "I'm feeling quite shaken."

"Yeah. Sure. Let's do that."

It was 2am and he still couldn't sleep. She could feel him toss and turn next to her.

"Jae."

"Sorry."

"No, I can't sleep either."

He sat up.

"I need to get my ID card back. Can you follow me tomorrow?"

"Your ID card?"

"I was fooling around with a first year chick in her house. Her parents came back and caught us. Her dad took my ID away, said he was going to lodge a police report against me for tresspassing his house and taking advantage of his daughter. Well, that's after he beat me up."

Y/N sat up. This was interesting, she thought.

"She's 18?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"18 is legal you dumbass." she slapped her forehead.

"I thought it was 21.."

Y/N groaned. "I can't believe you're so stupid."

"But the trespassing thing?"

"They don't have a case Jae. I'm sure you can prove you were invited there. Even if she lies and said she didn't invite you. They can't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt."

"I'm so glad you're studying law."

"And Jaemin?"

"What?"

"It's illegal for him to detain your ID. YOU can report him."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"Can you go sleep now that you know you're not actually in trouble?"

"Yes. Thanks Y/N." he said, turning to face the opposite side.

But Y/N couldn't sleep. Her mind was running a million miles a minute. Jaemin made out with someone. What was he like when making out? Was he gentle? Was he sweet like he always was to everyone? Was he a dom or sub? What did he do with the girl? Did he have fun?

Her own thoughts made her sick. Feeling a stir in her stomach made her sick. This was her best friend she was thinking of. She had to stop. Maybe she needed a shower.

Taking a towel with her to the bathroom, she shut the door, stripping quickly and getting under the hot jets of water. Damn it, Y/N, she scolded herself. Not Na Jaemin. What happened to your thing for Chinese guys?

She soaped herself trying to escape the mental picture of Jaemin, between the girl's thighs, lapping on her clit mercilessly, his eyes twinkling like they would whenever Jeno or Haechan said something witty. Suddenly, she was thinking of him between her legs, lapping at her core.

She brought her fingers to her clit, rubbing them from side to side. She leaned against the bathroom wall, moving more aggressively. She was wet. Biting her lip she pushed two fingers into her pussy, thrusting them in and out, the sound of the shower masking the wet noises as her fingers moved.

The muscles in her stomach were tightening. She could no longer hold back, thinking of Jaemin thrusting into her, looking at her with an intense gaze. She wanted him bad.

Slowly she came undone, as she moaned into her hands while cumming.

Suddenly, someone was knocking aggressively on the bathroom door. Y/N froze.

"I need to pee!" Haechan shrieked. "Hurry! I need to go back to my game!"

"Give me 2 minutes I'll be done." Y/N said, drying herself with her towel and getting dressed, mind still dazed from thinking about Jaemin. She knew their friendship was never going to be the same ever again.

She was just wondering how easy or hard it was going to be, to get Jaemin to join her on the other side.