#i truly could not give a damn about the romances in the original trilogy. i do think mal is unfairly hated though

[roobylavender]

omg talk to me abt soc bcs i haven’t finished tck yet but everyone loves that series sm that i don’t hear much criticism on it ! (also if you’ve read the shadow and bone series too i’m dying to hear ur thoughts on it …. 😭) btw ur blog is so lovely ( as r U ) and it never fails to make my day idk if this is weird lol but ilysm 🫶

unfortunately i read the soc duology back when it was being published so it’s been a very long time lol. i think my primary gripe was the racial/ethnic classifications bardugo invested in bc they felt very caricaturized at times and then i’m sure upon reread i would have more issues with the matthias stuff bc he’s.. well. a snow nazi or whatever ksbdkdnkdj. but aside from that i don’t have much to say bc i remember too little. i do have reviews of the original grisha trilogy up on my goodreads (fauxvais) albeit those are also old so i have no idea whether i’d feel the same way now as i did then. i may honestly reread all of it next year bc i tend to do that a lot to see how my views of certain book series’ have changed. what i can say is i hated the nikolai duology. that was what i was most looking forward to bc of the nature of nikolai’s transformation and the potential monster romance aspect but it ended up being so lame.. i’m still living in the world where nikolai was a monster permanently and zoya loved him that way bc she was the only one who wanted to

[fandumbstuff]

The Star Wars Saga, ranked best to worst.

1. The Empire Strikes Back Directed by Irvin Kershner

Upon close consideration, I’ve come to the shocking conclusion that Empire is the best Star Wars film. There’s a wealth of world-building and character development here that in many ways makes Star Wars the living breathing universe it is now. A richly complex melodrama lies at the heart of Empire, giving a whole new meaning to the term “space opera”. The performances here are some of the strongest in the entire franchise. Mark Hamill not only fleshes out Luke’s character, but in his training with Yoda and his duel with Vader he establishes the profound nature of the force, and how every future character interacts with it. As Han and Leia, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher create authenticity to their characters’ relationship. Often misinterpreted as playfully hostile or sassy, there’s a real and endearing sense of affection between them, particularly in the infamous “I love you”/”I know” line- shedding their previously petty flirtation and affirming their true feelings. The emotional crux of Empire lies not in the most memorable twist, but in the moments immediately following it - In Luke and Leia reaching out to each other, reconnecting a relationship that was lost, rekindling hope in the force after we thought it was lost.

2. A New Hope  Directed by George Lucas

I’ll be the first in line to make fun of dorky George Lucas and his woeful attempts at writing dialogue or romance. However, it’s pretty damn impossible to ignore what he achieved with Star Wars in 1977. The sheer audacity of his vision and his determination in executing it despite the naysaying from producers and supposed friends. Lucas had the bold idea of using cinema for it’s absolute worth- more than just a storytelling medium but a theatrical one. A cacaphony of sight and sound that could draw mass audiences and create a lasting impression. It’s a formula that every Hollywood and Bollywood blockbuster strives and more often than not fails to follow. It’s hard to dissociate A New Hope from the cultural phenomenon it helped create, but when you do, it stands as an impressive film on it’s own. Groundbreaking in terms of it’s visual effects and nostalgic in the simplicity of it’s sci-fi serial story, Star Wars ticked all the right boxes for so many people. If I was to boil Star Wars down to an essence, i think it lies in 2 scenes: Luke looking out at the binary sunset on Tattooine, and Han Solo yahooing after the Falcon saves Luke in the Death Star trenches. Those two scenes, Wistfulness and Exuberance, are the two sides of one concept- Adventure. Star Wars ignited those emotions in every child’s imagination, and it’s a flame that’s likely to never go out. 

3. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Directed by Gareth Evans

Hard to believe this is a Disney movie. While the house of mouse may have a reputation for emotional gut punches in kids movies, it’s never felt quite so... permanent. Rogue One is an unrelenting emotional journey barelling towards surefire tragedy. We spend moments with characters that seem to be carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. The sense of desperation that permeates the movie almost overpowers any sense of heroism. It’s so unlike anything we’ve seen in a Star Wars movie. Their courage comes from a place that is wholly genuine and believable. We see the rebellion for the despondent group that they are. Sorely outnumbered by the Empire, their actions in this movie show a reckless, darker side to them and makes the morality of Star Wars so much more complex. The first time we meet Cassian Andor- the stand out performace of the film by Diego Luna- we see him kill another rebel to protect their secrets. It’s a movie that reframes the original Star Wars trilogy, making it a richer, complex universe and more intriguing as a result. Also, the last five minutes might be the best five minutes in any Star Wars movie.

4. Return of the Jedi Directed by Richard Marquand

The one sore spot in the original trilogy for me are the Ewoks. I realise it's ridiculous for me to complain about kid-friendly creatures in a kid's movie, but Star Wars has done this a lot more tolerably in the form of Porgs and Baby Yoda. Just something about these furry, Tibetan speaking monsters who somehow have the wherewithal to defeat an elite and well equipped empire rubs me the long way. Anyway, other than that, the movie's pretty fantastic. The culmination of Luke's journey comes to a head in an extremely emotional and effective climax. John Williams score crescendos to operatic heights and Mark Hamill's stellar performance sells Luke’s torment. It’s also worth noting that in those final moments of moral dilemma, Darth Vader is silent- it’s David Prowse’s performance entirely that sells this. His incredible presence throughout the trilogy builds to this moment and you can feel the weight of it in those closeups on Vader. Every other cast member rounds the story out perfectly- from Lando and Han’s playful rapport to Leia’s more militaristic side in planning the rebellions final moves. I still bemoan the fact that they changed the final song- an opinion that I’m apparently a minority on- but it’s a pretty incredible ending altogether and wonderfully cathartic to watch over and over again.

5. The Last Jedi Directed by Rian Johnson

With Last Jedi, Rian Johnson analyzed the universe Star Wars inhabits, and what drives it’s characters. The characters that we love are pushed to their limits, struggle against insurmountable odds and their own innate flaws. And we see all of them fail in turn. It is remarkably bleak, but not without purpose. It is out of this failure that the Resistance needs to recoup and come back stronger. The performances here, are arguably the best you’ll find in the entire franchise. Daisy Ridley has to break down Rey’s naivete and find a deeper sense of self actualization. Adam Driver hands in some of his best work, by swerving the audience into believing Kylo Ren and then creating a desperate plea in THAT throne room scene, and eventually turning him into a snivelling villain, all in the same movie. Mark Hamill’s performance here is heartbreaking- revealing the bleakest version of Luke, and struggling to find his redemption. Last Jedi is a bold deconstuction of these characters, of what they stand for, and what makes Star Wars beautiful.

6. The Force Awakens Directed by J. J. Abrams

In many ways, a safe movie to announce the return of Star Wars. But it’s hard to fault this. Disney’s decision making was shrewd here, bringing on J. J. Abrams to pay homage to George Lucas’ original vision, returning the franchise to it’s roots of practical effects and shooting on film. There was something truly special about experiencing this film in theatres, so much so that I did it eleven times. It captured a sense of wonder for fans new and old- hearing the scream of Tie Fighters, John Williams herald the return of the Millenium Falcon, and the look of awe on Rey’s face as she clutches her destiny in her hand. I’ll be honest, the film loses some of this magic without the shared experience of an audience, and it’s flaws are more noticeable. But being swept up in the excitement of adventure felt so darn good in 2015, and that’s so key to this franchise.

7. Revenge of the Sith Directed by George Lucas

This movie has risen so much in my opinion, entirely due to the animated Clone Wars series. Revenge of the Sith depicts the overwhelming tragedy that frames the original Star Wars. Watching Clone Wars explains explicitly what makes this film so tragic. But it’s more than that- it’s a catastrophic failure on behalf of the Jedi Order. Ignorance and pride allow evil to fester and grow. George Lucas took the simplicity of the moral struggle he established in 1977 and tried to give it depth and complexity with the prequels, and it pays off in Revenge of the Sith. It leads into the original trilogy quite brilliantly, with a promise of hope and resilience.

8. The Phantom Menace Directed by George Lucas

It has not aged well. While the advent of CGI I’m sure felt exciting at the time, and you almost can’t fault George Lucas for his insistence on staying at the forefront of VFX innovation as he has always done, it’s his reliance on so much of it that fails horribly. Like a kid in a candy store, Lucas stuffs the pockets of this film with so many bizarre effects for absolutely no reason. That sea monster scene is one of the worst displays I’ve ever seen and it’s absurd that it sits in a Star Wars film. Add to that the boring political plotline and ridiculous midichlorian dilemma and there’s very little redemptive about this film. However, it does have podracing, and Duel of the Fates, and it’s remarkable how much that salves the wound.

9. The Rise of Skywalker Directed by J. J. Abrams

Alright, well obviously this film has been problematic. However, I’m not about to bemoan the idea that Disney has ruined Star Wars and I have nothing left to live for. So let’s all just calm down. Ultimately J. J. Abrams was faced with the impossible task of wrapping up the Skywalker saga, with very few Skywalkers to work with. I firmly believe this would have been a very different film if Carrie Fisher was around to complete her performance. But left with nothing but the new cast, Abrams is caught between summing up the past while also looking to the future. It forces an awkward plotline with Palpatine- despite Ian McDiarmid's solid performance, the writing here seems wildly derivative of the franchise. There are some truly beautiful scenes, most notably the chemistry that Adam Driver gets to share with Harrison Ford, and Joonas Suotamo’s critically emotional outburst as Chewbacca. Some of the production design and score is so entirely different from the rest of the franchise it's inherently intriguing. But there’s very little here to save some of the poorer choices the film makes: the open plot hole with Finn, the derailing of Rey’s character development, and most crucially, the deeply perturbing culmination of Rey and Kylo’s relationship. The audience literally went “ew”.

10. Solo: A Star Wars Story Directed by Ron Howard

The biggest problem with Solo is that it operates under the presumption that people will be enamoured and invested in it. Not just in one movie, but in an entire series of movies. Solo clearly operates as a setup for further sequels. As a result, many plot lines remain unresolved, and Qi’ra winds up being a completely under-baked character. Her motivations make no sense, and a twist ending that I assume was supposed to be exciting is instead downright confusing. There’s a lot of unnecessary exposition into Han’s past too. As an origin story, I don’t need to know every aspect of Han’s past- especially not cute winks at inane things like “Why’s he called Solo?”. All this being said, The movie features some solid performances- Donald Glover is expectedly phenomenal as Lando, and Alden Ehrenreich excels as Solo, adding some welcome flavour to the character- particularly his friendship with Chewbacca, and a brilliantly executed final scene between him and Woody Harrelson’s Beckett.

11. Attack of the Clones Directed by George Lucas

How in the world this film made it all the way to production and into filming, with no one pulling Lucas aside and saying “Hey George, those kids have no chemistry” is beyond me. And I’m not going to blame Hayden Christensen or Natalie Portman on this one, because the whole damn love story makes no sense. Maybe falling for a dude who admits he murdered women and children isn’t such a great idea? Then there’s the increasingly convoluted political climate set up in Phantom Menace, and the machinations of the dark side that would take the entire Clone Wars series to fully explain. All this being said, Temuera Morrison, Samuel L. Jackson, Ewan MacGregor AND Christopher Lee are all in this movie. And they’re pretty damn fantastic.

12. The Clone Wars Directed by Dave Filoni

It’s inexplicable that Dave Filoni would go on to have a hand in some of the best Star Wars content ever made in Clone Wars, Rebels and the Mandalorian. And yet he got his start in the franchise by putting up this piece of junk. And junk is being a little generous. The humour is so juvenile it’s insulting to even the youngest of audiences it’s intended for. The plotline feels way to thin to warrant a feature film, and if this was in fact intended as a pilot for the TV series, they sure picked to most uninteresting story to pique our interest. Skip the movie, watch the show. 

[prettywordsyouleft]

To Be Continued - Part 8

Summary: As an author, you had created Brian Kang for your current trilogy series to represent the ultimate man that everyone would love, along with Charli Evers - your female protagonist. What you hadn’t expected was for him to find a way out of the story and begin shaping up your world instead

Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)

Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy

Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>

The angst has made it’s way into the station, everyone. Buckle up for the pain that’s going to come.

A/N: this story idea was created from receiving two prompts for Brian in the YouxIdol drabble game I was completing this year. In this part, you can find prompt #194, “I don’t want to live in a world where I’m not with you.”

Word count: 2397

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue

You were anxious whilst waiting for Lily’s arrival. At first, she laughed hysterically after your announcement. However, she stopped suddenly, peering at Brian, who waved gently in response. You worried she might collapse from the reactions that seemed to rock her back and forth when in a calm voice, she told you she was on her way over and then ended the call.

You had been pacing in the hallway in front of your door ever since.

“It’s going to be fine,” Brian assured, and you nodded distantly.

“Fine. Yes. Of course.”

“I mean, I convinced you of my existence. It won’t be much for me to do the same to Lily.”

“Except part of that was you came out of the laptop in front of me.” Glancing up at him, you shoved Brian down the hallway to your office and over to the laptop. “Do it again.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a circus monkey.”

“No, but you did come in and out of the story multiple times,” you reminded, and Brian folded his arms across his chest.

“Only because you called me out.”

“So go back in and I’ll call you out when she’s here.”

Brian snorted. “And send your editor into a mess or make her faint as you did?!”

“Well, that way she won’t be able to say we’re making this up!”

“Except we’re not making this up and we’ll get through it without any stunts, okay?” he told you, rubbing your shoulders and attempting to loosen the tension within them. You slumped, hoping Brian was right.

There was a frantic knock at the door then, and Brian nodded gently before going to answer it. Peering around the corner of your living area, you watched as he greeted Lily. The woman stepped inside, circled around him and then shook her head. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

“I know it seems a little implausible but-”

“Brian Kang truly exists,” Lily cut off your attempt to start the conversation, and you shared a surprised glance with Brian before stepping closer to your friend. She stared up at Brian. “Any chance Park Jinyoung exists too?”

“I’ve tried,” you mentioned in a small voice when Brian’s face grew moody and let out a little laugh. “I think we’re best off just having one literary character in our existence, right?”

You were surprised by how easily Lily accepted all this. Of course, Brian gave her a similar speech as he had to you when you came around after meeting him the first time, and answered any of her questions. But unlike you, Lily didn’t have many. Instead, she marvelled his existence up close – and rather a little too personally – before you cleared your throat and gestured for some tea.

Taking your editor into your office and shutting the door, you then sat down on the small couch across the room together.

“I cannot believe you didn’t tell me right away!”

“If it makes you any happier, you are the first person I’ve explained his actual existence to.”

“Brian mentioned he had met your doctor and that handsome cop you told me about,” Lily replied, and you cringed.

“Both of them don’t know the full story. In fact, I made things worse with Brian’s existence in front of Sungjin.” Lily perked at this, and you waved her off. “It’s a long story.”

“You know what isn’t, though? Eternity.” Placing down her mug of tea, Lily turned in her seat and shook your forearm gently. “You’re sitting on a gold mine here!”

“Hardly. I can write, Lily. Just not about Brian.”

“Why not?”

“It’s as you said, it’s as if I’ve sucked the life out of Brian in my story now. Because he’s out here and not in there.”

Lily grew thoughtful. “Have you asked Brian to help you write the story?”

“Well, no. I’m the writer, and he’s the character.”

“Perhaps he can assist you by making his role more organic again. After all, he knows himself best, doesn’t he?”

She had a point. “Maybe it could work.”

“I don’t blame you for being distracted lately, though. After seeing him, I don’t know how effective I’d be in person either,” she gushed, and you bit your lip as your mouth curved into a delighted smile.

“He’s magical.”

“He’s divine!” Lily enthused with you, and you both giggled.

“And he can hear you,” a voice called out from the other side of the door, and you both gripped onto the other in fright before busting out into laughter once more.

It was good having someone you could talk to fully about the man now in your life.

Lily, after calming down and draining off the rest of her tea, stood from the couch and smiled. “I trust you’ll both get the story started the way it’s meant to go, Y/N.”

“I hope so. I don’t want to be like this with my work. This series has meant a lot to me.”

“Do you need me to stay or will I get in the way of your rendezvous?” she teased, and you swatted a hand out at her. “What?! If I had a chance with someone like Brian, I’d not be able to hold back!”

“I’m decently approaching him, and that’s all there is to it!”

“Maybe you need to get more intimate then. It might help with this final part of the story.”

“Lily!” you cried as she smirked at you. “That’s not what’s in the plans for this world, and you know it!”

“Well, I didn’t expect to meet a character come to life in this world of ours, but it’s happened. Things can easily be adapted, Y/N.”

“Okay! Out with you now!” you demanded with a laugh, pushing your friend to the door of your office.

She hesitated, shooting a wicked look over your shoulder. “You’re sure you’ve done everything when it comes to seeing if Jinyoung-”

“Out!” you repeated, shoving the now laughing woman out of the room. She turned to hug you and then winked at Brian before heading for the front door.

“I expect a proper submission by next week. That’s all the extra time I’m giving you. Have fun in love, the pair of you.”

Once the door shut, Brian smiled warmly at you, capturing your cheek in the palm of his hand. “I quite like her.”

“She’s trouble,” you mentioned with a grin, nuzzling into his hand and pecking it with your lips briefly. “But she’s the right kind of trouble.”

“Sounds just how I would describe you right now,” Brian mentioned, his eyes swirling with a growing need. You knew that look all too well. It had been what had you pinned against a wall first thing this morning.

Maybe Lily was right. Your kissing sessions were only growing longer, more laboured and filling you with a desire you wanted to keep exploring.

Tugging on Brian’s hand, you made your way down to your bedroom with what you hoped to be an alluring smile.

He stopped, but only to scoop you up in his arms. “Oh, you’re definitely the right kind of trouble to have, Miss Writer.”

Despite all your efforts, the story still sat at a standpoint. You had encouraged Brian for input, and once again, you were both seated at your desk, pouring over options for the start of the story.

“It’s not working,” you complained, dropping your head to your tabletop in despair.

“We’ll find a way,” Brian said, though he looked concerned. With your realisation of this, he cleared his throat and ruffled your hair. “Honestly, how hard can this be? I’m the character, so I should know what I want to do next.”

“Do you?”

Brian slumped in his chair and shook his head. “Not a clue.”

“You, much like everyone else in this world, rely on me to write the script,” you stated, sadly and Brian rubbed at his face.

“You’re right. It’s what gave me direction, and it was the words you had started to write that helped me change the scene towards my benefit here and there.”

“So I need to write it. And you need to somehow appear whole again within the world.”

You each fell silent then, neither wanting to speak of what you had thought.

Over the past few days, you had fallen further for Brian. The love you felt for him was never-ending, and it worried you with how attached you had become to him so far. The idea of Brian ever returning to the world he came from made you sick to your stomach.

However, logic also made you realise that was where he needed to go for you to write Eternity. If he was missing from his leading role, how would you be able to pen the world in the way it was meant to be? Being at your side only delighted you, fulfilling your every need and desire.

But it wouldn’t make the story that he’d originally come from work.

You knew he was aware of this too.

Stepping out of the office without more than one line written, you both retired to the couch, sighing at separate intervals.

And then Brian turned to you. “Y/N, can we talk?”

“Always.”

“It’s not working, is it?” he murmured, and you nodded, feeling the rise of your emotions behind the backs of your eyes. You blinked, and he reached out to catch the first tear as it fell. “We’re working too well together here.”

“But the story isn’t at all,” you whispered, and Brian sighed again. “With you here, Charli and everyone else is suspended in air, waiting for your return. You exist in that world just as much as you exist here.”

“And I can’t be in both at the same time,” Brian admitted, and you dropped your head, tears spilling into your lap. “I have to go back, don’t I?”

“Maybe I don’t need to write this story. I have plenty of other ideas, and breaking out of the contract isn’t so bad, right? I mean, I’ll take a loss but I can afford to pay the publishing house-”

“Y/N,” he said, and you shook your head adamantly.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Do you think I want to either? I’m happier here than there. I want to be with you, not Charli, not in a world where I have a past that haunts me and people who want me dead. Here I can be just me. The guy who loves you.”

“You love me?” you asked, and stared up into Brian’s now glossy eyes. He smiled weakly. “Do you really love me, Brian Kang?”

“I love you,” he told you earnestly, and you leaned in to kiss him, desperation rolling between you both. It was rushed and messy, yet your hearts collided together in the middle, confirming the feelings you both had for one another. It made you want more, yearn for every part of the man you had come to love so easily in the flesh. You had loved him a whole lot longer than this, but now you could truly confirm that love came from his actions, and not how you wrote them.

Shifting back, as the tears somehow managed to still fall, your bottom lip wobbled. “I love you too.”

“Which is why you plan to send me away again, right?” Brian asked, choking on his own emotions. “I have to go so you can finish this world.”

“Can’t we just leave it?” you pleaded, and Brian shook his head. You mirrored the action, knowing you wouldn’t be satisfied either. This was a world you had created, and you couldn’t just leave it without answers to the questions you had raised so far.

“Will you come back to me?”

“As soon as you’ve written the very last word,” Brian promised, kissing your temples as you both began to cry.

Clinging onto him, Brian attempted to soothe your wild sobs, rubbing at your back whilst burying into you himself. It was heartbreaking, like any typical angst scene. You knew it had to happen for character growth, and yet this was a pinnacle moment for sheer pain. Your whole body ached at the mere concept of parting from him.

“It’s not as if I’ll leave you for good, Y/N,” Brian mentioned, as if he read your thoughts. “I’ll always be right here with you. Through the screen. You’ll see me, during moments where I go along with your story plans, and at the times I test them. You’ll know I’ll be there supporting you, and your choices in writing Eternity to the very end.”

“I know, but you won’t be here, holding me like this anymore either,” you told him, and Brian grew silent, knowing whatever he could think of to calm you now, wouldn’t. “We don’t know what will happen if you go back. Will you be able to leave me notes like last time? Or will the story suck you back in and keep you there, at Charli’s side and not mine?”

“I’ll find my way back to you, Y/N. You know I will,” Brian urged, and you held onto that hope, leaning in to kiss him once more. “I don’t want to live in a world where I’m not with you.”

“I know,” you agreed, nodding into him. Words seemed pointless now, both of you overwhelmed by the decision.

Eventually, Brian helped you up, taking you down the hallway to your bedroom, and laying with you as he had started to do recently. Somehow, you fell into dreams, of you and Brian together, married, with children and living out your domestically and homely life together. He was right. You didn’t aspire to be in the front limelight of anything apart from your simple goals in life.

With him at your side.

Yet, when the morning shone through, and you opened your eyes, you were alone in bed.

And there laid a note on the pillow Brian had once rested his head upon.

I love you, Y/N. I will come back to you as soon as I can.

As the tears formed in your eyes, you got up from your bed and went into the office, staring at the open screen of your laptop. Waking it up, there was the document for Eternity waiting for you to continue.

The words finally came.

_________________

Part 9

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[secretlynumberonefan]

Let’s Talk Books - Chain of Iron by Cassandra Clare

Damn it feels good to be back in the Shadowhunters world.  I loved the first book in this trilogy and going into it, I knew I would enjoy this one as well.  It has everything you would want from a Shadowhunters story, action, romance, plenty of angst, and some really loveable characters.  Cassandra Clare's writing truly seems to just get better as time goes on and this book was no exception.

Chain of Iron pretty much picks up where the last book, Chain of Gold left off.  Following the children of Will, Tessa, and their friends from the Infernal Devices trilogy, this book takes place in Victorian London at a time where demons haven't really been attacking frequently, so when Shadowhunters start mysteriously dying and all signs point to another Shadowhunter being the killer, everyone is baffled by what is going on.

Plotwise I can't say much without spoiling it since it is a sequel for the first book but I really did enjoy it and I flew through the 656 pages in about three days.  It's really fast paced, and I feel like it is much more character driven than the previous book and doesn't rely as heavily on action which can be a good or bad thing depending on your preferences.  What I especially appreciated in this book is that each character very obviously has flaws and personal things that they are dealing with in a way that makes them seem very real.  Also the dialogue between them is amazing.  Cassandra Clare really does have a way of writing witty banter that makes the characters really come to life.

5/5 stars because it was just so enjoyable and really everything I could've asked for from a Shadowhunters book.

Now I do have some spoilery thoughts as well so read on if you're interested.

Alright, now that the boring non spoiler section is out of the way, let's really chat.  I did not think that James and Cordelia were actually going to get married in this book!!!  Like I know they get married eventually because the Herondale family tree gives that away, but I was blown away when the book opens the night before the wedding.  I thought for sure that something was going to happen to stop it, and was extremely surprised when they actually got married and went along to their new house.

James decorating the new house to surprise Cordelia was the cutest thing ever.  I love that they get to experience the companionship that comes with marriage and learning how to live with another person because that is just so real.  I love my husband, but my favorite time with him is just sitting on the couch playing games on our phones while we watch TV, so watching Cordelia and James learn how to just be around each other was super fun. 

Also another note on James, I love that he gets a gun!! Obviously it's the first gun that has ever worked for shadowhunters and I'm not sure WHY exactly his demon blood makes it work for him but I just found that super cool.  It's also called "Peacemaker" which I know is the gun from Wynonna Earp that supposedly was Wyatt Earp's gun, which I'm pretty sure is the same demon killing gun from Supernatural too so I wonder if that is all related?  Anyways it was really cool and I liked just picturing him with the gun just all epic haha.

I have to be honest for a second and say that I really don't like Lucie's storyline.  Like c'mon girl you were raised in this world and you know that necromancy is a bad thing!! I just don't understand how she thinks that there could possibly be a good way to raise the dead.  Even if it happens in the end, just feels like a dumb idea on her part and she should want absolutely nothing to do with Grace.

I really love the gay, bi, and lesbian representation in this book and I love that there is a wide variety, but I'm a little confused when thinking back to the original trilogy.  Wasn't it like super awkward for Alec to be gay because Shadowhunters frowned upon it?  Like how did they regress from having Anna who is openly a lesbian in the 1800s to the 2000s and Alec is scared of anyone finding out because of his culture.  I'm not knocking it at all, just want to make sure I remember it right.

Thomas is such a teddy bear and I love him so much.  He's one of those characters that I just want to tuck into bed with a glass of warm milk because he just warms my heart.  And when he kisses Alistair it was so cute how they were taking it slow and he was super hesitant.

And finally, let's talk about that ending.  I did not see Jesse's body being the killer coming at all, and I was THROWN when Lilith reveals that Cordelia is her paladin.  That was such a shocker I had to put the book down for a few minutes.  I'm so curious to see where all of that goes and how she ends up breaking the vows or whatever it is.  Also, I'm pretty sad that no one really got a happy ending, but I'm really excited to see Matthew and Cordelia's adventures in Paris.  I don't really like the James/Matthew/Cordelia love triangle just because it reminds me too much of Will/Jem/Tessa, but I'm all in on a fun Paris vacation.

So one final question...can someone explain to me why there are moths on the cover?  Did I miss something??

Until next time.

[seyaryminamoto]

Been thinking for a while that I’d like to do a light behind-the-scenes glimpse into one of the themes in the newest Gladiator story arc. While it’s not the very core element of the arc, the source of Azula’s current struggle in the story came from... an unexpected place.

Unexpected as in, it came from LOK.

Okay, in all fairness, it’s not quiiiiiiiite something that came from LOK itself, but it’s a take on an idea I had while pondering the various reasons why Asami’s character wouldn’t really take off for me in the show. Well, beyond the obvious reasons why it wouldn’t *cough* Book 2 *cough*... 

I’ve always said I’m more than a little confused by how a character like Asami, with just 20-something years of age at the time of LOK Book 4, has enough talent and know-how to not only be a top-of-the-line engineer (which, yes, is believable enough on its own), but to also be a CEO in her own company (I gueeeess since the company falls into her hands and she mismanages it plenty in Book 2, it’s not that impossible to feature this in conjunction with the first thing?), a clothing designer, an architect AND a urbanist, capable of driving every machine known to man, an outstanding hand-to-hand fighter...!

... If you really think about it in cold blood, it feels like a little too much.

BUT. Instead of boringly accusing Asami of being a Mary Sue (which I’m sure some people might) for having a thousand talents that we don’t really see her work for, that she just developed offscreen, I thought the show would have benefited greatly from actually focusing on how Asami is handling the constant, desperate need of so many authorities in Republic City to have HER resolving all their problems.

Therefore, instead of a Reunion episode with a conflict focused on rescuing a kidnapped Wu (whom I profoundly dislike as a character, not for his role, but his personality is simply barf-worthy for me and the amount of focus Book 4 gave him was, as a lot of things, detrimental to the show as a whole, in my opinion), I thought LOK’s Book 4 could have instead featured a Reunion episode focused on Asami... which, of course, would also be a nice way to fix some of the lackluster onscreen development of Korrasami. So... let’s go onwards with my episode pitch:

Picture that Korra is about to reunite with Mako and Asami for the first time in all those years, same as in canon. Asami arrives! Yay, Korra is happy, Asami compliments her hair, just like in canon... aaaand then Asami says she can’t really stay, she just dropped by quickly because this REALLY matters to her, but there’s this pressing issue going on at the company and she has to deal with it RIGHT NOW, because no one else can. So, woops.

Korra is completely disappointed (and probably doesn’t even understand WHY she’s so disappointed, hinting at deeper feelings for Asami that Korra hasn’t even stopped to reason with yet), but she sees Asami off while pretending this doesn’t bug her (for Asami’s benefit), and ends up spending the evening with Mako but clearly she’s not enjoying it as much as she hoped to. Which could result in Mako being pretty surprised by whatever closeness and bond those two seem to have now, noticing that he seems to have fallen to second place in Korra’s eyes somehow.

So! Skipping ahead, perhaps to the next day, Korra tries to check on Asami again! :D Oh, but she’s got to work on the airbenders’ outfits, some have been having trouble with the aerodynamics of it, and it’s just not working as Asami intended, so more calculations are needed! She takes to studying on the subject frantically, has to figure out what formula she’s missing or messing up, and while Korra offers to help, she knows there’s not really anything she can do to give Asami a hand since this stuff is well out of Korra’s area of expertise.

Then, when Asami is finally finished, OH NO! An emergency in the train she inaugurated at the start of the season! Asami has to go deal with that too! And of course, Korra goes too, while wondering how TF does this damn city even run without Asami...

... And then realizing it actually doesn’t. There’s a president who basically dumps all the difficult issues on Asami because she has the know-how and the resources to deal with all the city’s problems, there’s an airbending master who requested for that same girl to help with the designs of his people’s combat outfits instead of dealing with it himself or finding someone else to help, there’s an entire vehicle company (ranging from cars to AIRPLANES) that depends on HER. And it’s just SO. MUCH. SHIT. For a girl who’s like... 20? 21? How old is Asami at this point? xD I don’t even remember. But the point I’m trying to get to...

Is that Asami should be overwhelmed. She hasn’t had anyone helping her, she deals with everything alone, and it doesn’t matter how hard she tries to work through this, there’s always one more problem, one more obstacle, one more bothersome thing she has to tackle, and nobody seems to stop and think that maybe she could use a break. That maybe she needs a nap because she hasn’t had one in 20 months. That maybe things in this damn city would be in a better place if people didn’t rely on her, and her alone, to resolve the bulk of their problems.

Korra, though, with her latest character growth (... that I’m not really fond of anyhow, but still...), has become a lot better at understanding people’s emotions. And her job as an Avatar is, amongst many things, to help people: someone she cares about deeply, her best friend future girlfriend, is currently going through so much crap and the truth is, Asami needs help. Whether Asami realizes it or not, she needs it. And so, whether it’s Korra’s job or not to help her, that’s all Korra wants to do right now. 

So Korra enlists Mako and then all three deal with whatever that train emergency might be! Asami probably rejects their help at first, out of force of habit of doing everything alone lately, until Korra tells her she doesn’t have to do that anymore. And then Asami’s mind is blown because yeah, maybe there’s a bunch of older people in charge who are happy to dump all responsibilities on her! But that doesn’t mean she has to accept it meekly and save all their asses time after time... and it also doesn’t mean she has to deal with everything alone.

After the train problem is resolved, Korra and Asami (maybe Mako too? But for Korrasami’s purposes, it can just be those two) get to have a small chat about what life has been like for Asami since Korra vanished. The conversation doesn’t merely focus on Hiroshi, which... *cringes* let’s not get into that. It focuses on Asami and the hardships she’s dealing with, seeing as the city is basically using her as a non-bender Avatar, in the sense of leaving all the problem-solving to Asami alone. Korra probably apologizes, Asami probably tells her not to feel guilty, because she has had it rough, and Asami understands that better than anyone, especially after what she’s been through lately.

It’s a cute, heartfelt moment, not necessarily romantic yet, but featuring a strong, meaningful bonding scene between these two! Asami wants to go back to work on some pending stuff, and Korra respects that, though she warns Asami not to overdo it. Asami promises she won’t... and the next time Korra checks on her, Asami is asleep on her desk or something like that. Korra smiles and puts a blanket on her shoulders, and when someone else arrives to say something REALLY BAD is going on, Korra shushes them and decides to deal with it herself (as long as she can), and, if she can’t, she’ll find someone else to do it in Asami’s stead so the girl can sleep safe and sound for the first time in ages.

Episode pitch over! :’D

*siiiiiiiiiigh* alright, so yeah, this was something I originally thought of as a replacement episode, to further explore and establish a bond between Korra and Asami that wouldn’t really resolve all of the rushed-Korrasami problems... but it would make it so much clearer that those two share a different bond, and a very special understanding of each other, that the other two Krew members simply don’t have with either of them. It’d deepen their relationship, but the most important element about this for me was that it’d be an Asami-focused episode and plotline. However brief it would have been, my idea was to feature Asami facing her own problems, not problems based on her relationship with other people (be it family or romance). It was also a way to show that she’s not indestructible or just the go-to problem solver with neverending resources and talents that the plot can exploit at leisure whenever it feels like it. And, most importantly, that Asami can’t and SHOULDN’T be the answer to every problem in Republic City, especially when she’s only delivering those answers off-screen, offering the viewers next to no chance to see her in action, kicking ass at all the things she apparently has insane expertise on.

As far as I know, the two LOK comic trilogies haven’t really done much for Asami either. I haven’t read them so I could be wrong, but from what I can gather from comments of people who have read them and the books’ summaries, she’s still Korra’s girlfriend first and foremost, gets kidnapped so she can be used as a hostage to manipulate Korra, and then gets brainwashed into fighting against Korra...? If this is truly how it is, again, Asami just gets reduced to a satellite character, in the sense that she just revolves around other people as though that’s all there is to her character, canon-wise. Which... makes me sad. She had potential, plenty of potential worth exploring, if only the show’s writing had been more paused and allowed their characters to breathe and grow organically, as a consequence of their own actions and decisions rather than by being forced into hellish situations persistently until they broke out of desperation.

So... LOK really had the chance to explore a much more human side of Asami that they’ve neglected to acknowledge so far (from what I know), a chance to deepen her character by displaying that no one of such young age should have so many difficult responsibilities dumped on her shoulders... which, again, could be expanded into a metaphor for the Avatar’s role, showing both Korra and Asami as two highly capable women who could achieve great things... but who need a chance to be normal too, once in a while. From the looks of it, neither of them have had that chance in canon (yes, Korra was stuck in a compound all her life but Asami must have been stuck in constant lessons at every discipline she has mastered? If she can deal with all those jobs of hers as flawlessly as she has, I don’t think she had much of a life before LOK started), and it would have been really nice of the deeper, darker show LOK wanted to be to acknowledge that a bunch of grown-ups, who had relatively smooth lives in their youth, dumping so much heavy work on a pair of girls who are just becoming young adults and barely had childhoods of their own, is just damn nasty :’D just as it was nasty in a show featuring a much younger cast... *innocent whistling*

Alas, this was just one idea that won’t ever go anywhere in canon, as is obvious. I’m sure I mentioned it at least once before, not as thoroughly as I did just now, but this is more or less what I had in mind. If you dump a thousand things on a character, it would only be fair to let them suffer for it, to a fault. Maybe don’t feature them whining because they have soooo much work to do... but turn them into workaholics! Show that they’re struggling to make everything pay off, that this kind of burden isn’t child’s play because in real life, it simply wouldn’t be.

But, as there’s next to no chance Asami will ever get this sort of development, I merely stashed this idea on my back burner, in case it might come in handy in the future... 

... And then I returned to it once Gladiator’s Enforcers became a solid reality. Azula has been dealing with challenges that are rather different from those Asami dealt with... but ultimately, the responsibilities both girls have taken up, Asami in canon and Azula in my story, were just insanely big. Azula, in Gladiator, has had very little time to spare for “secondary” pursuits since the previous arc, and in the current one that has become a problem because she simply CAN’T stop working. She goes home and instead of going to bed, keeps on working. She’s constantly on edge, assuming that any time not spent working is wasted time, time she should take advantage of to further improve her projects and endeavors... to the point where people are starting to notice she’s slightly overwhelmed, extremely stressed out, and needs to calm down :’D

I really had wanted to explore these themes in overachieving characters, who take up far too many responsibilities, more than are reasonable. While I’ll always consider it a really big waste of potential that LOK never gave Asami this particular dimension, despite her character 100% warranted it, at least I had the chance to explore this with Azula instead, and I’m honestly really pleased with the result, because it suits her really well too. The outcome won’t be at all like what I just outlined for the LOK episode that never was, and the current story arc will take a vastly different direction... which is why I thought it would be fun to explain where this particular, new dimension of Azula’s character had come from.

Aaaanyways... the bottomline is, Return to Shu Jing is here. And I reeeeeally love this arc. I hope that those of you reading and staying up to date with the story will love it too!

[elle-eedee]

dcom daddies: ranked

whats up sluts i’m here to give you the content you did NOT know you needed: a foolproof algorithmic ranking of a mild selection of disney channel dads!

beast (descendants)

hotness scale: extremely tall (over a foot taller than me! this is Very Important to the scale) and he seems to be a mere thread’s width away from Unhinged at all times, which i love. i also think it’s very sexy of him to still have such a monstrous way about himself (what with the roaring and the growling) 20something years post-curse.... makes me wonder very vividly if such energies carry to the b*droom........ *clears throat* 10/10

quality of character scale: it eternally amuses me that beast seems to learn almost Nothing over the course of this trilogy. he’s literally pro-isle the ENTIRE time jsjdndjdjd..... not great considering it puts him directly at odds with his son (and, like, with social progress) but he Does seem to act the way he does with the kingdom’s safety in mind! plus when he’s not accidentally supporting magical fascism he’s super dorky. i love his goofy dance moves 7.5/10

total score: 17.5/20...... with this score alone you can tell this system isnt rigged bc if i had it my way he’d be winning

hades (descendants)

hotness scale: i hate his party city clown wig but i’m a total sucker for guys in makeup (EVEN THOUGH A DECENT SHADE OF LIPSTICK WOULD HAVE BROUGHT HIS ENSEMBLE TOGETHER. WHY DID THEY PROPOSE IT ON THE CHARACTER DESIGN WALL IF THEY WERENT GONNA FOLLOW THROUGH!!!) and i think the fact that hes Very Sleepy and doesnt own a dog makes him my dream guy 9.5/10

quality of character scale: he literally sings a song about how cool he thinks it is that he’s a shitty dad............ but he DOES come through when his kid needs him, so that’s nice i guess. i would have liked to see more of him but i’ll settle for reading and writing intricate fan works that delve into a hypothetical personality for him that’s mainly conjecture 7.25/10

total score: 16.75/20 i wanna see him in some preppy auradon clothes

jafar (descendants)

hotness scale: i wish i had nicer things to say about this man. he just....... bears so little resemblance to the original jafar it makes me :( maybe if he was more gangly, or if he carried himself w the same potent gay energy that og jafar has? itd also help it he wasnt a racist caricature. 4.5/10

quality of character scale: again, very much a racist caricature. jafar doesnt steal!!! why would This be what he chose to do with himself! but he does seem to be, perhaps, the least bad of the core four’s parents, which counts for something i suppose. 3/10

total score: 7.5/20 sorry bud

dr facilier (descendants)

hotness scale: listen. it’s dr facilier. what am i supposed to do, NOT give him a perfect score on the sexy scale? 10/10

quality of character scale: he just loves his daughter and wants to make sure she’s getting what’s hers!!!!! his dynamic with celia makes me really happy they seem so fun! though i guess you could argue it sucks that he’d send his darling babey dohter to do errands for big mean scary hades considering that Everyone on the isle seems to quake at the sight of him. but im sure facilier only does that to ensure that celia can hold her own! 8/10

total score: 18/20 and it’d probably be higher if we’d seen more of him

mr smee (descendants)

hotness scale: not only does this man fuck, judging by the ages of his kids he fucked RECENTLY. get it baby live your truth 7/10

quality of character scale: he seems to be SO kind and sweet to his baby sons..... holding their little hands and such!!! and judging by how nervous the kids are i’d imagine it was primarily smee’s idea for them to go to auradon. extremely noble sacrifice for their benefit even though he’ll miss them 10/10!!!!!

total score: 17/20 i want to kiss his hand, if he’ll have me

zevon necrodopolous (zombies)

hotness scale: every time i look at this man i think of this post. he’s the perfect amount of frumpy for my tastes and his voice is so unique!!!!! i’d let his z-band malfunction so he could *** ** ***** * ******* **** 9/10

quality of character scale: really really cares about his kids and wants them to be safe!! he raises his voice once which im not a huge fan of but i suppose it was justified given the circumstances. also that shot of him goofing about with d*le in the end scene shows remarkable capacity for forgiveness after decades of trauma and discrimination! what a guy. 9/10

total score: 18/20 an absolute dilf!!!!!

dale (zombies)

hotness scale: looks like an uncrustable. 0/10

quality of character scale: a fucking cop. die bitch! 0/10

total score: 0/20 get in since you wanna act clown

coach jack bolton (high school musical)

hotness scale: honestly pretty young for my tastes. and i literally Always swipe left on athletes, so..... fine looking, but not for me. 5/10

quality of character scale: obviously he grows as the series progresses but i feel like jack is Always in the way of troy getting what he wants, which sucks. i like that he’s kinda goofy on his off hours with his family exactly as much as i Hate how much he yells when hes on the job. i do wish we lived in the timeline where he and miss darbus actually had that duet about their disagreements, though. 5/10

total score: 10/20 truly an Average dcom daddy

vance evans (high school musical)

hotness scale: due to personal reasons i will be having bad taste. however, this man’s fashion sense in IMPECCABLE. i mean, the colors??? the unbuttoned collar???? come on now. there is also the gratuitous use of the d-word to consider......................... anyways 7.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s hard to tell how much of his interest in furthering troy’s career is out of sincerity and how much of it is sharpay nudging him. but either way the result is a man who supports his daughter unconditionally! he could be nicer to ryan, though (plus he’s an evil capitalist) 6/10

total score: 13.5/20 i feel like he and fulton have had Relations

mr gifford (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: listen, i’m a simple guy. i see a basic-looking man pursuing age gap romance in the midst of a mid-life crisis, i support him unconditionally. also i am just Really vibing with that oversized denim shirt on him!!! there’s an egregious amount of arm hair poking out that just works. good for him! and this is a small moment but i’m very flustered over his natural Touchy Feely instinct after wen pokes out his eye... however: man has no eyebrows. 8.5/10

quality of character scale: i’m not a child of divorce so i don’t know how this stuff works, but i feel like he springs a lot of major decisions on wen? not ideal. on the other hand, we DO stan that he has sydney move in before they’re married. this is not a christian home!!!! 6/10

total score: 14.5/20 probably my favorite lemonade mouth dad, but mostly because he’s like the only one paid any attention by the narrative

mr banjaree (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: men really have beautifully sculpted noses and we just let them, huh. i’m definitely overusing the word Handsome in this list, but in this case? i’m justified. mr banjaree’s beard suits him SO well and his hair looks so soft...... and we love the implicit cleanliness of a man who wears socks in the house! 8/10

quality of character scale: i super SUPER dont agree with this man’s Smothering-Adjacent Methods (and also i know firsthand that strict parentage just drives kids to be more rebellious, lmao) but all things considered he really just wants the best for his family PLUS he’s willing to meet mo halfway at the end! :’) 6/10

total score: 14/20 the way i feel about him is the way i feel when i get crushes on pastors in that You Are Complicit In My Trauma But We’re Gonna Kiss About It way

mr delgado (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: OOOOH GLASSES! 5/10

quality of character scale: it’s sort of implied that the Wacko Energies of charlie’s family are mostly the fault of his mom so it’s cool of this man to distance himself from that. he is, of course, still complicit in Whatever The Hell Her Deal Is unless he is constantly fighting with her offscreen 6/10

total score: 11/20 would have loved to see more of him

mr yamada (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: another chapter in the saga of unbuttoned collars! doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to show off his strengths but i appreciate that he is not the thinnest dad in town 6.5/10

quality of character scale: WOW fuck this guy. very dismissive of stella’s aspirations!!!!! i don’t like that he feels the need to talk Over her to her mom when he’s asking about her vegetarianism. dude she is right there.... however it’s a lil touching when he holds her guitar up at the end, so... 4/10?

total score: 10.5/20 *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thi

bob duncan (good luck charlie: it’s christmas!)

hotness scale: in keeping this Specific to the feature-length xmas special, i will say that bob duncan is QUITE handsome! disappointed that he was wearing a shirt in the scene at the pool.... ill bet if this movie came out post-workout/makeover he’d have been shirtless >:/ i feel robbed... spare tummy, sir? spare tummy? additionally i love a man who rolls up his sleeves AND a man who stans kaiju movies!! also i love that he, quite literally, canonically fucks 8.5/10

quality of character scale: he’s about as charmingly incompetent as he is in the show, but the difference here is that he literally did not do a damn thing wrong! all he wanted to do was be civil with his inlaws and he frankly deserves MUCH better. its clear from his banter with the kids that he loves them very much (also i love how frequently he feels the need to jump/dive for things in this movie. silly slapstick icon) 8.75/10

total score: 17.25/20 this man’s mere presence oozes nostalgia

jerry russo (wizards of waverly place: the movie)

hotness scale: this man was MADE for me. the bottomless collection of hawaiian shirts....... the TWO tummy out scenes..........the fucked up evil thing his voice does when the kids try to steal the spellbook!!! he really has it all. also i love that he is truly just trying to have some beach intercourse 9/10

quality of character scale: i love that even when he doesn’t remember the kids he still maintains a little dadly rapport with them? the instincts...... it’s also incredibly good of him to relive his decision to give up his magic without hesitation once he realizes the severity of the situation :’0 10/10

total score: 19/20 i’ve never seen an episode of the show but im really about to start

neil morris (dadnapped)

hotness scale: handsome....... mr morris makes me feel simultaneously like a sapiosexual AND a morosexual because although he completed enough schooling to become a dentist, he also threw it away for a writing career like an absolute champ. also i find it unbelievably charming how Along For The Ride he is about the idea of being kidnapped. a man after my own heart 8.25/10

quality of character scale: this is a tricky one...... neil DOES show active concern for his daughter’s safety when push comes to shove, but he also has my least favorite type of redemption arc: “you THOUGHT i was neglecting you, but actually i was thinking about you the whole time and just never expressed it! we good?” so like. bleh. but he’s pretty mild mannered which i deeply appreciate in a man! 6.5/10

total score: 14.75/20 maybe talk to your daughter instead of writing a macgyver ripoff, dumbass

major joe mason (princess protection program)

hotness scale: prime dad bod, very believable for his line of work. also he has such a Gentle Way about himself when he’s around princesses....... i love all the hand holding when he’s escorting rosie. absolutely my type 8.75/10

quality of character scale: gosh.... where do i even BEGIN!!! his whole dynamic with carter is so ideal... i was apprehensive at first because his job would require him to be Absent a lot of the time, but upon reflection it’s clear that he’s raised carter well enough that he can totally trust her to be on her own, and also she’s only sad to see him go because she sincerely enjoys his company. everything about his profession is so noble and i love the way he can carry himself as casually or as politely as a given situation calls for. worst thing he does is say “i might have to stop calling you ‘pal’” because his daughter is wearing a pretty dress. i wish he was my dad but i’ll settle for him being my husband 9.75/10

total score: 18.5/20 i almost made a ppp self insert this morning specifically for Him

ted thompson (zapped)

hotness scale: athletes arent sexy!! this guy’s face screams The Only Websites I Know How To Use Are Facebook And Reddit and also he’s a dog person BUT he is sporting quite the tumbey if i do say so myself and for that i shall let him live. 4/10

quality of character scale: ok i know the whole point of this movie is Boys Bad but i hate men who are loud and i hate dads who get Weird about the inherent femininity of their daughters. when he calls zoey “sport” and then cringes like he’s made a mistake? dumb and unnecessary. HOWEVER all of his efforts to bond with zoey are really really sincere. like when he fixes her music box? that has NOTHING to do with the app he just Does It!!!! the movey mightve rubbed off on me a little too much but there are multiple ways to show love and just bc im not used to his way doesnt mean it has no worth! 6/10

total score: 10/20 mr thompson sir im sorry i doubted you at the start of the film

rob adams (radio rebel)

hotness scale: this man dresses 5-10 years younger than he looks and i respect that for him. but i was expecting him to be a bit more of a slimeball considering how tara talks about him in the opening scene... and you guys know how much i love slimeballs. regardless, pretty handsome! 6.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s nice that he goes to such a Public and Corporate effort to connect to his stepdaughter! even if it’s in a way that financially benefits him, it’s pretty clear that he cares about this family and wants to do right by them. nothing exceptional, though 7/10

total score: 13.5/20 i GUESS i’d be down to smash if he asked

ralph bartlett (read it and weep)

hotness scale: ok i was gonna say something mean about the fact that he’s balding but honestly he has really nice arms........ in addition he’s really quirky and optimistic which i am going to admire into my grave!! when he gets excited about having customers during the finale his voice quirks with an almost charlie day-esque charm. handsome. ALSO he calls jamie “princess” which is!!!!!!! something 7.5/10

quality of character scale: the way ralph parents his kids is Very 2000s in that he kinda babies his daughter but gets to pal around with his son, but i guess both dynamics come from a place of love and he could be doing much worse. plus he’s an honest hardworking small business owner! i support him 7/10

total score: 14.5/20 i would definitely go out for pizza with him

dr james hartley (how to build a better boy)

hotness scale: THIS. THIS IS WHAT DCOM DADDIES ARE ALL ABOUT. gosh..... this is truly the Most dad ive ever seen in my life. i love how his hair is always mussed..... how he’s so Desperate to relax that he falls asleep after Fifteen Seconds of smooth jazz..... and also. like. hes a scientist?? hello??? pretty sexy of him. i want to give this man the relaxation he deserves 10/10

quality of character scale: ok so,,,...,, kinda fucked up that he lied to his whole family (with the possible exception of his wife—sidenote, WHY did they make dr hartley married? his wife never comes up except when bart says she’s out of town. let him be single so i can slide into those dms) and EXTRA kinda fucked up that he works for the government? what a scab. BUT it’s very very clear that he cares about his kids (and gabby) and prioritizes their safety above all else! also, did you SEE how happy he was when mae won homecoming queen....... he loves her so so so much! :’0 8.5/10

total score: 18.5/20 i thirst tweeted about this man and roger bart replied ‘Aw, thanks!’ so i dont know where to go from here

[thehollowprince]

If the sequel trilogy was about “subverting our expectations”, they should have kept Kylo as a villain. Everyone expects Ben to get redeemed. It would be more surprising & meaningful if he doesn’t end up as Vader 2.O. It could’ve shown that bloodlines don’t matter: the villain has Skywalker blood and is obsessed with this fact while the heroes are a bunch of kind “nobodies”. TLJ also showed a dark but true message: people can’t be saved all the time. People like Kylo exist as nazis or abusers.

The massive amount of potential that was wasted in this sequel trilogy is a damn shame. They could have done literally anything, and at first I thought they were going to, with a former stormtrooper and a girl force warrior as their leads, but the further along we went the more it became incredibly apparent that Disney (as usual) was just interested in rolling around in huge swaths of cash while not giving a damn.

Don't get me wrong, I love homages to the original trilogy as much as the next fan, but these movies just became the original trilogy but with a few gender-swapped roles and better special effects. Not to mention this whole garbage of redeeming Kylo Ren despite the fact that over and over he chose the dark side.

What makes it worse is that, while Vadar was redeemed after some truly horrible stuff, it was by the love of his son who refused to give up on him. Not this weird, sort-of-romance, but not really between Kylo and Rey, completely ignoring the set up they originally introduced in The Force Awakens of Rey and Finn potentially being a thing. All that potential, wasted, so that they could, as you said, "subvert expectations", which is just a fancy way of saying "we were too lazy to be creative in any way and rather than trying to live up to the fans expectations of how good these movies could be, we just decided to fall back on old and recycled plot points and stereotypes and then pat ourselves on the back for it."

I read a review for The Rise of Skywalker and they said something really poignant in it, that this sequel trilogy was made for the original fans and not to bring in new ones, coddling those old-school nerd boys who feel like they're discriminated against for their "nerd knowledge" while simultaneously mocking modern fans for wanting something - anything! - different that we've gotten in literally every other movie.

Sad to say but I think my devotion to Star Wars ends with this last movie.

[spaceorphan18]

Marvel Movie Night: Spider-Man

Kicking off Sam Raimi’s original Spider-Man trilogy! Whoo!  It’s interesting - Spider-Man was one of those things that I wasn’t initially into (totally here for the X-Men).  Then I really fell in love with this trilogy.  And then kind of fell out of love with it.  And then Tom Holland came along leaving this in the dust.  Coming back to it again I find it… endearing? But like the original X-Men films, despite being thought of as great for the time, I don’t believe it holds up that well now that we’re nearly twenty years later.  (My god, am I getting old?) 

Let’s back up and talk about this film in context for a second.  X-Men was revolutionary in its own way - bringing the comic book genre into a space that could be taken more seriously.  Spider-Man, however, was the first glimpse of what films based on Marvel properties would later become.  Unlike superhero and action films of the time, it was brightly colored.  It was cheesy, but not overly campy.  It had humor and emotion.  And, not surprisingly, audiences reacted positively! 

But now that we’ve had twenty more years of Marvel films, does it hold up? Kind of?  Is it a good Spider-Man film, yes if the context you’d like your Spider-Man films to be in is taking directly from the Silver and Bronze age era of comics.  Is it a good film overall? Meh.  

I don’t spend a whole lot of time in Spider-Man related fandoms, but there is a big chunk of fans that prefer this film and its sequels to the other two Spider-Man franchises.  And while I don’t agree (though I support everyone having their own, varied opinion), I can see why this might appeal to those fans who had been reading the comics for years. 

The first half of this film is directly lifted out of Amazing Fantasy #15, the comic issue Spider-Man made his debut in.  The filmmakers did, really, a fantastic job of bringing it to life -- the origin story, Uncle Ben, the ‘great power’ line, Peter Parker’s guilt, the spider-bite, and so on and so on.  It’s there.  This film feels like a Silver Age comic book brought to life.  On the one hand - that’s pretty remarkable.  I don’t think the comics had ever been directly referenced in the same way prior to this.  On the other, it brings along with it all the downsides of a Silver Age comic.  The dialogue is incredibly stiff.  The acting feels forced.  And everything has that -- ‘ah, golly shucks’ mentality about it.  It felt dated in 2002.  It feels even more dated now.  But the novelty of it being THE COMIC BOOK was pretty revolutionary for the time. 

Peter Parker/Spider-Man

Of course there are hundreds of polls out there, and I’m sure a few dozen YouTube videos about who the best Spider-Man is.  Honestly, there’s a lot of subjectivity that goes along with it.  I think each of them has their pros and cons, so let’s take a second to talk about Tobey Maguire in this film.  One thing I think Tobey Maguire does really well, especially for being nearly thirty by the time he got the part, is play the nerdy and awkward Peter Parker… or at least at least the nerdy and awkward Peter Parker that was written in the 60s by Stan Lee.  Maguire does a great job of doing the part he’s supposed to be playing - the problem is, and I feel this way about all the characters, is that he doesn’t feel like he’s playing a real person.  He feels like he’s a comic book character thought up during the 60s.  

What about the Spider-Man side of things? I’m going to give this a pass more than I probably should.  First of all, Spider-Man is supposed to be rather chatting, and this Spider-Man is near silent.  But that’s more so due to the lack of ability with the suit.  And I don’t blame the filmmakers for keeping Spider-Man off the screen for so much of the film.  Not only does it make those times Spider-Man is there feel more special, but it saves them from having to do a lot of things that, maybe, didn’t the technology wasn’t fully ready for yet.  

Look - I think while it was definitely moving in the right direction, the action sequences in this film are probably some of its weakest points.  Everything is incredibly stiff and/or ridiculous looking.  Sure, there are some great moments of Spider-Man swinging around the city.  But most of the stuff between he and the Green Goblin have not aged well at all.  

One last thing - the organic webshooters?  Nope.  Nope, nope, nope.  Ew.  

Aunt May, Uncle Ben, and Great Responsibility

So - Aunt May (and Uncle Ben) in the comics are older.  It’s… kinda unrealistic, unless Peter’s parents were much, much older when they had a kid.  Uncle Ben says in this film that he’s 68.  That’s grandparent age -- and I’d believe this whole thing much more if they were Peter’s great Aunt and Uncle.  That said, Cliff Robertson and Rosemary Harris were perfect choices for their roles.  Robertson especially plays the closest to an actual person as he grumbles about unemployment and new technology he’s having trouble with.  But more so, he does such a great job with his Great Responsibility line, that there’s really no reason for other Spider-Man films to do it.  It’s in the culture now.  We get it.  Meanwhile, Harris’s Aunt May, well, looks exactly like Aunt May.  Aunt May, in general, kind of annoys me, so I suppose we’ll leave it that. 

The Osborns and the Green Goblin

First, James Franco as Harry Osborn.  There really isn’t a whole lot to this character - it feels like he’s talked about more than actually on screen, and I feel like we don’t get to see that much of Peter and Harry’s relationship.  That said, Franco does brooding rather well - and is pretty consistent at keeping the brooding up throughout the film.  He’s fine, but sometimes feels like he’s there because the movie wants him to be in it.  

Willem Dafoe is Norman Osborn, and here’s my thing.  Dafoe is a pretty good actor.  He does the whole split-personality thing rather well, and makes an incredibly convincing villain, especially when everything about the Green Goblin is, well, incredibly contrived.  Really, I think the Oscorp stuff is the dumbest stuff in this film because it strictly adheres to comic book logic.  And while I also understand there were obvious limitations and complications making such a ridiculous suit, that Green Goblin costume is terrible.  Dafoe was much more menacing without it on.  

Mary Jane Watson

**sigh** Okay.  Let me start by saying that I like MJ in the comics, even though, yeah, this is a pretty good representation of her (or more so the kind of character she was forty years ago) here.  I don’t even mind Kirstin Dunst.  This version of MJ bugs me though.  Part of it is the story framing.  Everything’s from Peter’s POV, and it doesn’t make any sense.  What is it about her, besides the fact that she’s pretty, does he even like? They never actually spend time together - and when they do, Peter’s giving her soliloquy about how wonderful she is. The problem is that we’re never really given a reason, other than pretty, to understand why.  Do they have anything in common? Not really.  Do they make a connection beyond his constant saving her from bad situations - whether it be emotional or physical? Not really.  

Everything about their scenes is just over-the-top a majority of the time.  Like -- this is a big sweeping romance, hear the music? See the close-ups? Add tears, more tears!  But I never buy an actual connection between the two of them.  

The one thing that does actual work, and I will give them a ton of credit for, is that upside down kiss in the rain.  That’s pretty damn iconic.  And kinda hot.  It’s the only time that the movie allows the romance to do something other than follow the tired tropes of boy-likes-girl, boy-rescues-girl, boy-gets-girl.  Ug.  

J Jonah Jameson and the Daily Bugle

JK Simmons and the Daily Bugle is hands down the best thing about this film.  It’s witty and almost satirical with everything looking straight out of the 60s comic book.  It gets the humor that the comics often has and runs with it.  I have no complaints, it’s really, truly amazing.  And I have to wonder if this entire film would work better if it had taken place during the 60s and was a tad more on the satirical side.  I feel like the world would have made just a little more sense.  

Final Rating: 3 out of 5 Spiderwebs.  I think this film is a great embodiment for what Spider-Man meant to a whole group of people who grew up with the character.  As a film, I think it’s standard issue, and besides letting comic book movies be brightly colored and fun, I don’t think it does anything special with the story it’s telling. And much like the original X-Men film, while I’ll give it credit for being special for the time it came out, I don’t think it holds up now.  

Next Up: Oy, I’m gonna have to watch that Ben Affleck Daredevil film now.  :P 

[spiritarcticclawsw]

It’s official

if J.J. Abrams kills off Ben Solo like I think he will, then damn it, I’m putting my writing skills to good use.

Yes, it’s true. You guys deserved better. Ben deserved better. This entire trilogy could have been so much better in so many different ways. But we must remember, it’s still about hope guys. It’s about saving what you love, not fighting what you hate. And we, as fans, have power! If we don’t give them good feedback, or don’t give them money, hell, they’ll have to do something. As a matter of fact, I think that’s why this final movie came out the way it did. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is a result, either direct or indirect, of the backlash from The Last Jedi. But we shouldn’t be sending death threats, or getting aggressive, or being violent. Otherwise, as Obi-Wan said:

We would be becoming the very thing we swore to destroy.

We promised ourselves we wouldn’t be the butthurt fanboys because after all, “It’s just fiction, we shouldn’t be fighting and attacking each other for it.” And I understand why you’re all upset. The idea that Ben Solo dies after Han, Luke, and Leia died for him goes against everything they set up. It sends the message that you must die to redeem yourself. It sends the wrong signals to kids and goes against everything we felt the Skywalker Saga should stand for. And while we don't have the power to change the canon entirely, we have the power to influence it. Cast and crew members, and even people who aren't that into reylo and don't like or ship it continually praise our fan art and fan-fiction. Not to mention higher-ups are bound to hear our pleas to give us our Ben back.

And even if reylo does end in death, in tragedy, we still have our own skills. Every person in this community is so talented and skilled, I dare say that if we pull together, we could build something deeper and more meaningful than the Skywalker Saga. As a matter of fact, there have been countless cases of fanworks rivaling the original art content-wise and improving upon it in ways the original creator. Sure, pop culture has generally shamed fandom culture for being cringey or toxic, which is unfortunately not entirely wrong, but it can also be beautiful and inspiring! You guys were a beacon of hope amidst the negative cesspool that was the Star Wars fandom. So many hardcore fans that interact in the online portions of the Star Wars fandom, that I was scared to cross tag any of my reylo headcanons, for fear of getting bullied off like what had happened before. Many people don’t understand how truly beautiful fandoms can be! Thousands of us becoming family to each other, supporting each other through hard times despite never meeting each other, none of which would have happened if Star Wars never existed!

I honestly Disney doesn’t realize how influential fiction is, and how painful it is to just kill off a character like that with no proper setup or character arc. Fictional characters and fandom friends are there when you need them most. Who was there when your day was bad, when you fought with your significant other, when your loved one died or when you got fired? The fandom, the characters, the movies, and if you reached out, someone would reach back (shoutout to @princeofdarkness15​ for helping me when I was an internet noob lol). Are we just gonna let J.J. Abrams, leaks, and sad endings take that away from us? Are we gonna let this tear our cross-platform, international worldwide family apart? Or are we gonna peacefully protest and keep pumping out beautiful works that rival the quality of the original? Are we gonna allow the characters to live on in our hearts and minds? I think the band AJR does a great job of singing about how impactful fiction is with one of the most stupid-sounding and silliest examples: The Office -

Personally, I know you guys and fandom, in general, has impacted me to the point where many of the novels, TV shows, and Movies I plan to create when I become a filmmaker tackle fandom, fiction, and why it’s important, (that sounds like the title of a book,) but I digress.

Another thing I’d like to point out is that none of us have actually seen the movie. For all we know, there could be a resurrection scene none of us know about. While I personally wouldn’t hold out much hope for that and think it’s more likely they’ll just retcon something in a comic or novel, we have yet to get official, reylo verified news about the endings. 

My point is, we shouldn’t start getting aggressive or violent about this. I won’t tell you not to get angry or depressed about this, you have every right to, but don’t start bullying or sending death threats.

If the leaks are true, I plan to take to Wattpad and AO3 to write the ending you guys deserved, Filled with happy endings, and classic Star Wars style adventures. With drama, mystery, romance, action, and my personal favorite, the Ben-and-Poe-act-like-siblings-because-they-were-both-raised-by-Leia-and-are-deathly-afraid-of-her-coming-back-as-a-force-ghost-to-slap-them-for-something-stupid-they-did dynamic! 

I want to turn it into a long term series, though I don’t know how well that’ll work out since I’m about that age where you start getting ready to go to college and also want to write a novel to sell and a musical to perform at my school, but I suppose that'll be my new free time project! 

Whatever you do, don’t lose hope.

^^^^^ This’ll be the first song I use for inspiration for my fanfiction.

May the Force be with you.

[wolfenm-marveling]

There are three big reasons I have not and don’t want to see Endgame ....

For one, I wrote a lengthy article about that will run in June at Sequential Tart (I'll update this post with the link when it goes live *EDIT* Here it is: The Subject of Character Death, Revisited - http://www.sequentialtart.com/article.php?id=3362 ). The other two, I'll talk about here; they involve Steve and Bucky.

I know what you’re thinking: Wolfie, how can you form an opinion on a movie you haven't seen? Well, I do have mental health issues (undiagnosed and untreated because I have no insurance or job, yay), so when the film was released in China, I found someone to spoil me so that I might make an informed decision as to whether or not I could *handle* seeing it, given some worries I had (and especially since 3 hours without a bathroom break was not going to work for me or my companion). I determined from that convo that it would be a Very Bad Idea for me to see the film.

Even seeing the constant posts about it  -- especially ones that called it a  “beautiful” or “perfect” end, etc. -- was triggering anxiety and mental anguish / circular thoughts (admittedly in part because there were similarly “bad” things happening in other fandoms of mine -- it was too much at once). And I'm STILL having massive issues with circular thoughts about it.

This essay isn't meant to tell anyone they’re wrong about how they perceive / feel about the film, BUT, while I know I shouldn't care what other people think, the sitch still makes me feel how I feel: frankly, a bit disturbed that people are loving things that are making me so awful. I feel like I've stepped into some sort of Bizarro world -- like I'm somehow in the wrong universe. It’s very distressing. (I mean ... they call it mental *illness* for as reason, right?)

In this franchise where I once found such great joy, I now find little more than anguish. It’s actually been making me physically ill to see the posts -- or to look on my massive Marvel collection; I've had to box much of it away for now. Hopefully some day I can enjoy it again. (I can't exactly stop using my $60 Captain America backpack I begged for, for my birthday, though. :/)

I find that when my thoughts get like this (like I'm on a runaway train that keeps revisiting the same stations), the only thing that helps even a little is to sort out my thoughts on the page -- even if I’ve done it before, as I have with this in the comments section of friends posts. (You may have seen other people express similar thoughts, too.)  And really, I don't want to rain on my friend’s parades, so I figure I’ll post it in my own space, and then if people ask me my thoughts, I can just point them here. And hopefully this post will help others who are similarly struggling (I know there are at least a few).

As for the old chestnut “It’s just a story/ a fictional character”, well, for one thing, let me repeat: mentally ill here. If I could control how I feel, I wouldn’t BE mentally ill. But also, I'm a writer who feels writing is a sacred calling, so when I feel a story is badly told, I tend to take it personally. Yes, I know my opinion is not the be-all, end all -- if you think it’s a good story, yay for you. Me, I feel betrayed by this story in a way I have rarely felt before (the other biggest instance having happened the week before the film's release, so double-whammy, yay).

Warning: if you read any further, I assume you either saw Endgame or don’t care about Spoilers.

(*edited to add* If you need some solace too, check out @antiendgame to find other people who are upset.)

The first upsetting points for me were the Noble Deaths (and, in Loki’s case, lack of resurrection) -- I hate that trope with the fire of a thousand suns. But that’s what I wrote the article on (including how 2012 Loki’s escape doesn't make me feel any better), so no more on that here.

Now, let me preface the rest of this by saying no, I wasn’t expecting a romantic presentation of Stucky. And as hard as I ship them fanon-wise, I don’t actually hate Steggy -- I adore Peggy in her own right (and like the idea of them  being a threesome with Bucky).

What I DO hate is that Steve abandoned Bucky for her.

Aside from Steve’s moral compass, Bucky was the impetus behind pretty much *everything* Steve did in his trilogy. He found the missing soldiers because Bucky was amongst them. Bucky’s death broke him -- and finding him again in Winter Soldier seemed to give Steve, who was clearly depressed, new life. Despite Sam insisting Bucky was Gone, Steve wouldn't kill Bucky to save the world. And in Civil War, Steve fought other dear friends, and was willing to throw away his own freedom, to protect his best friend. So how the FUCK is them being *separated pretty much forevermore* a satisfactory end to that story???????

TL;DR, the Captain America movies were about the repeated separation and reunion of Steve and Bucky … and yet we barely got to SEE them together before Steve said sayonara to the man he’d been best friends with for over a for over a decade, to go be with a woman he’d known for about a year. 

A woman who’d already had a family without him.

Yeah, we can say her family still exists in the original timeline -- but I have seen soooo many different explanations of how the time sitch works out, it’s not even funny.

Really, that’s the third reason I don't want to see the movie: I HATE time paradox, and this movie sounds riddled with it. Also, as I understand it, the writers and the Russos are saying different things, with the Russos saying it’s a different timeline (which apparently Steve would be going *back* to after the shield pass, for some reason, and yeah, that bothered me, that he didnl't even give his best friend that momento, and sent their last onscreen moments together talking to SAM), and the writers saying no, the alternate timelines were only a thing when the Stones were in play. So yeah, Steve could spend the rest of his life with Bucky then ... but that means he also would have erased Peggy’s family (and maybe her work). Unless he was the man she married all along.

Either way, it would mean that Steve let Bucky suffer, and let HYDRA infiltrate SHIELD, neither being things I could see him doing.

And if it IS a branched-off timeline, I LOATHE that time theory, because it means NOTHING WE DO MATTERS. There’s always a version of us that’s our worst selves, and people who suffer because of it. That’s hella depressing. (Even if it would explain why I feel like I'm in the wrong world.)

At any rate, the ONLY end I really wanted was to see Steve and Bucky get to be together, no matter how -- “just friends” would have been fine. It was literally the thing I wanted most in the whole damn MCU franchise (aside from seeing Loki be redeemed and then fight alongside the Avengers. *sigh* At least I didn't have high hopes there ...). I would rather Steve had taken Bucky back in time WITH him, even if Steve still married Peggy; time paradox issues aside, I could have lived with that -- yes, even if it meant we didn’t get The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. (And honestly, how much am I supposed to look forward to that anyway, when Sam has been such an *inexplicably* uncompassionate asshole to Bucky in WS and CW? A guy who runs meetings for people with PTSD holds a grudge against a guy who was brutally mind-raped? It's like they made him OOC for the lolz!)

As for “Oh, but Bucky knew and he was okay with it!”

Uh, if he was okay with it, it's just because the writers *wrote* him that way for their own convenience, so they could do this ending. I have been besties with someone most of our lives. We broke up a few times, but we managed to keep finding our way back to each other. We don't live in the same state, so we rarely see each other, but at least we DO sometimes, and we write each other. If this person said they were going to go live somewhere with no way to communicate with me ever again, so they could be with someone they loved, of course I wouldn't want to say don't leave, because I'd want them to be happy, and wouldn't want to stand in the way … but that doesn't mean I'd be “okay”. in the slightest. And I wouldn't WANT other people I care about to go through such pain, much less think it beautiful to watch.

Plus, as I always say, this is fiction -- I don't need *that much* “reality” in my escapism. Temporary angst is my bread-and-butter -- it’s cathartic -- but I need a happy ending to be the payoff. To me, A TRULY happy ending for Steve -- and the one that would have been the best payoff for the narrative we’ve spent a decade watching -- would have been for him to not have to choose between the two people he loved most.

Edited 5/11/19 to add: For all those who are all “Oh, they’re just friends, they aren't gay”, I am more or less fine with sexual Stucky staying fanon; they still love each other platonically, are SOULMATES, ACCORDING TO THE SCREENWRITERS THEMSELVES (Christopher Markus and Steve McFeely), who wrote this as part of the intro to the graphic novel Captain America: White - “…Of course, this is still a rollicking adventure tale, and no adventure is complete without a love story. And yes, these books have one – the longest, most tortured one in Marvel history, in fact. We’re talking about Steve and Bucky, without smirking or innuendo or raised eyebrows. Platonic though the relationship may be, from the meet cute to the tragic separation, their bond has all the elements of a classic romance.  These two men love each other – as any pair of friends who faced exclusion, combat, inhumanity, and death would. Their bond stretches across half the twentieth century. The loss of it gnaws at Steve throughout the modern day, and it slices his heart in half when the Winter Soldier rears his tormented, homicidal head. Just as Jeph and Tim’s earlier Daredevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, and Hulk: Gray all dealt with the major love interests in the heroes’ lives, so too does Captain America: White. Steve and Bucky are each others’ soulmate, if you will, because no one on Earth understands what either of them has been through as well as the other does. The book deals deftly with the strengths and weaknesses that relationship engenders. As the Red Skull himself says to Bucky, “The captain has a … ‘soft spot’ for you. A spot I intend to put a bullet through this very evening.” Soldiers fight for their country. They fight for themselves. They fight for each other. And sometimes they die for these things, too.  The ones who don’t carry the memory of the ones who did for the rest of their days. Steve Rogers is no different.”

So he's gonna leave his soulmate (no matter the nature of their love) behind forever? FUCK THAT NOISE. I am completely baffled ow two writers who see Steve and Bucky that way would go on to give them that ending.

And retouching the whole for Bucky “knows and is okay” thing, the Russos also said that Bucky is too damaged still to be Captain America. Uh, THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE THEY REALLY THINK HE’S OKAY.

[hermiome]

(1) the thing is, for me, in wanting to keep the mj thing a twist they pretty much killed the build up of the relationship. and also i love mary jane and peter and would love to see that adapted on tom's spidey BUT the way they went about it was not good. first of all the lack of personality mj has? yikes. zendaya has so much potential why waste that in stupid lines and whatever else they think they're doing with her character? is just ridiculous and that was only on homecoming.

(2) then it got worse on ffh like peter went from only acknowledging mj, because of well her out of place one-liners on homecoming, to suddenly I WANT TO DECLARE MY FEELINGS FOR HER like? the struggle peter has with not wanting the responsibility of being a hero (which is a great contrast with homecoming and that is awesome imo) would be so much better and have more depth if it was rooted on losing tony, which it somewhat is but the movie kept going on and on on how peter just wanted mj???

(3) and the whole thing bothers me because there's no development but nobody seems to see it? and okay this is the mcu and not much has an actual development but damn could they at least try? peter and mary jane is SO iconic and this is just sloppy tbh. toby's mj and andrew's gwen had the love story their deserved but tom got whatever this is :( and sorry for ranting on your ask but i feel like i'm alone in this and you're the first person to say something negative about it in my dash.

Hi! First of all, sorry for replying like three days later, but I wanted to sit on my laptop to write a proper reply instead of just agreeing with everything you’ve just said (which I whole-heartedly do).

Look, I am 24 years-old. Just yesterday, I saw a tweet of some screenshots of the kiss with a caption that said ‘can you believe these are the peter and mj from our generation???’, which if I’m being honest, made me feel incredibly left out because I grew up with the original trilogy of the Spider-Man movies. The first one came out in 2002, and I was 8 years-old -- I remember my father was excited and literally dragged me to the cinema to see it and I was like, BLOWN AWAY by it. Literally it was like my first favourite film with real people on it, and it stayed on my top list ‘till I was like 15 lmao. To me, Peter and MJ’s love story is one of the most iconics of all time, and their first kiss under the rain made me start to believe in love lmao. I know there were lots of problems with the relationship in the last movie of the trilogy, but I still love it with all my heart. I was so invested in it that I didn’t even watch The Amazing Spider-Man movies until recently; it just felt wrong. 

And then, the MCU came along and Tom Holland was casted and he was such a sweet, pure, amazing Peter that he bought me completely. But what had me completely hooked was his relationship with Tony, which was essentially why I didn’t like SM:FFH as much as everyone else did. As you said, I think the main focus on this film should have been Peter’s grief at the loss of his mentor.... which, yes, it was in a way, but not as centrally as I would have liked. I get it, this is a Spider-Man movie, but Tony has been at Uncle Ben’s level of importance in this universe for Peter. I think the fact that they put the ‘romance’ in the spotlight threw me off. To quote you, it was underdeveloped and rushed. And this is coming from someone who is okay with Sharon and Steve, the most rushed relationship in the entire MCU, probably. 

But I don’t like this version of MJ -- they tried to make her so ‘different’ and  ‘strong’ and like, the radical opposite of Kirsten Dunst’s MJ that they screwed her up badly. It’s a pity in my opinion, because Zendaya is truly gorgeous and a great actress, but I’m fed up with people only accepting ‘tomboys’ as strong female characters. And the fact that one of the first things we listen to Peter say in the movie is about her, when he didn’t give a damn about her in the previous movie was like ??? so off ??? AND LISTEN, WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST -- HE WAS DEAD FOR FIVE YEARS. FIVE FUCKING YEARS, MATE. In Endgame, we saw how the world was, how dark and depressing it had become. Are you telling me in just a few months everything is sunshine and rainbows and like a musical again??? Now he only cares about a girl and doesn’t have any trauma about the time he’s lost??? They acknowledge it so little in the film, if that ‘video’ at the beginning could even be called acknowledgement.........

Also, the little details about Peter and Tony’s relationship. Couldn’t they have just given us more??? Tony had a picture of his kid in the kitchen, it was the main reason why he got off his ass and built the time machine. Are you telling me Peter couldn’t have had a picture of them too, make some parallels maybe??? The only time I remember where Peter behaves like he truly knew Tony was when EDITH says something like ‘Tony loved his acronyms’ and he’s like YEAH HE DID with a sad smile?? Maybe I’m too Irondad/Spiderson baised but, as I said, I was EXPECTING MORE DETAILS, MORE PERSONAL STUFF. They loved each other, they had a father-son relationship, for God’s sake.

But well, what’s done is done. I have fanfics to mend my broken heart. And, to be honest, apart from that, I enjoyed the movie... if only because I love Tom Holland. I seriously do -- he pours his whole body and soul into this character. I would have loved to see him in a more well-constructed love story. I think he would have pulled it off really well. But the actions scenes were fantastic, and Mysterio was one of the best villains the MCU has given us. Also, MAY AND HAPPY - I LOVED THEM! THE PLANE SCENE! THE WAY HAPPY LOOKED AT HIM WHEN HE STARTED BUILDING HIS SUIT, CLEARLY SEEING TONY! THE WAY TONY WAS PROBABLY ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE WHEN PETER CONFUSED AC/DC WITH LED ZEPPELIN! Those were the moments that truly mattered, that made me enjoy it.

Thank you for this message, by the way. I felt like I was alone in this too. 

[raven-m-3]

I got a really thoughtful ask in response to my “What Solo Tells Us about Reylo” meta about why the thematic parallels and inversions are so strong between Reylo and Hanqira / Qi’rolo. The parallels were indeed staggering- my mouth was hanging open most of the time in the theater. 

I’m still going to give an in-depth reply, but off the top of my head, I keep coming back to the simple fact that Disney / LF is doubling, tripling, and quadrupling down on Reylo. It’s not even so much “doubling down” as it is the fact that Reylo- the romance at the crux of the sequel trilogy, and arguably the entire Star Wars saga- has been so meticulously, thoughtfully, and diligently planned from the very beginning. Sure, some plot threads have changed, but the overall direction of this sequel trilogy has been clear since the pre-production stages of TFA. And all of the canon films, books, and material we’ve gotten since Disney acquired LucasFilm have supported and built upon this underlying romance. 

And it’s not just Reylo that has been meticulously planned-- so too have the arcs of all the characters we know and love. Solo, for instance, gives us a romance that not only heavily echoes the Reylo arc in TFA and TLJ; it also ties into Han’s character arc and HanLeia both in the original trilogy and TFA. It also has parallels to the patricide in TFA, Han’s dice in the original trilogy and TLJ, and even harkens back to the damn prequel trilogy (Darth Maul, anyone!?). These are just the tip of the iceberg. I could probably write dozens of metas on all the thematic parallels,  callbacks, and plot-based tie-ins in Solo. 

I guess this is all to say that I’m just really blown away by the care and dedication that has gone into telling this story. It’s a beautiful thing, and I truly believe that Solo was not only an enormous gift to Reylo shippers, but more importantly, to Star Wars fans of all persuasions- prequel lovers, original trilogy lovers, sequel trilogy lovers, and beyond. 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

My thoughts on Infinity War and Spider-Man’s role within it.

Yeah obviously SPOILERS

tl:dr version: It’s great but there are some problems, mostly in regards to it as an adaptation but there are some problems even taken on it’s own. Spider-Man’s better than he was in Homecoming but there are still fundamentally broken aspects to his character

Longer version:

Brolin and Saldana’s performances were utterly stellar. Like everyone did a great job but they were on another level. The Thanos/Gamora relationship was just perfect, closely followed by Wanda and Vision’s romance (WHY won’t Marvel just let them be together again in the comics!).

 The action was also just great with my personal favourite being Captain America and his team’s first appearance.

 I don’t think the action scenes were up there with the best stuff from Avengers Assemble or Civil War, but there was nothing wrong with it...well....except maybe one thing but I’ll get there in a minute.

 The Russo’s also, much like in Civil War and as Whedon did with both prior Avengers films, performed a master class in balancing out a truly MASSIVE amount of characters.

 Yes some characters got a lot more play and focus than others (Iron Man edged out Captain America, small wonder since this movie was kind of celebrating the 10th anniversary of his movie) but the amount of play each character got felt appropriate to the story being told. Like T’Challa wasn’t as focussed upon and didn’t really have a big moment in comparison to Iron Man but then again Iron Man was the guy who literally had PTSD due to the Battle of New York and that was Thanos’ fault. Also it’s appropriate given how Thanos was originally an Iron Man villain.

 There was also plenty of laugh out loud moments, especially when it came to the Guardians. In fact credit to the Russo’s they did a wonderful job of keeping the Guardians consistent with Gunn’s portrayals of them.

 Now...that cannot be said of every character. Tony Stark I felt was consistent with their take on him from Civil War but along with that movie’s rendition of him leant more towards the serious side of things than Whedon’s portrayals of him or his characterization in his solo trilogy.

But I also do not regard that as a bad thing. One of my frustrations with the MCU, especially in Phase 3 has been that they don’t take things seriously enough and undermine the characters and drama with too much humour at times.

 This is the root of my profoundly mixed feelings on Thor: Ragnarok. It IS hilarious. It’s funny and fun. But also extremely inconsistent with the other Thor films and to be blunt a downright insulting portrayal of the rich almost Lord of the Rings level high fantasy world of the Asgardians. Thor is far from devoid of humour of course but primarily he’s a high fantasy noble warrior and that’s tonally played straight. So when you have him bumbling around or facing off against Jeff Goldblum playing a character practically designed to be an internet meme it’s really going against the spirit of the character.

 As far as I am concerned MCU Thor, whilst likable enough in his own right, has yet to really nail the character. However Infinity War at least course corrected this somewhat following Ragnarok. Infinity War’s Thor is still comedic but he is also somewhat tortured and a real bad ass at various moments. However the price of this was essentially entirely undermining Ragnarok’s ending. It reads as though the Russo’s were blowing a raspberry at Waititi, much as Rian Johnson’s Last Jedi did to Abrams’ Force Awakens movie. I’m less upset about it though because all the Asgardians I gave a damn about were casually killed off in Ragnarok anyway and that movie screwed over Thor’s mythos anyway.

 I’m hoping this clean slate approach could maybe lead to a second attempt at getting Thor right but I dunno if that’s likely.

 Another character who was treated with more respect and was just over all more on point than in their solo movie was Doctor Strange.

 THIS was the Doctor Strange we were promised in his 2016 movie. The MASTER of the Mystic Arts and the dude in CHARGE of the magical stuff on Earth. Along with his absolute lack of slapstick bullshit this more competent portrayal of Doctor Strange was an infinitely better reflection of the classic Ditko character than his own movie.

 Finally as I touched on above Thanos himself needs to be lauded. He is easily one of the three best MCu villains ever. Loki, Killmonger and him compete for the top spot. His motivation is interesting unto itself and in a perverse way even sympathetic. His character has actual layers (not to the level of other great comic book villains admittedly but they exist) and in a very real sense this is HIS movie moreso than anyone else.

 Okay that’s all the good stuff that comes to mind...what about the stuff I didn’t like.

 Well whilst the humour was more finely balanced with everything else in this movie in comparison to say Ragnarok (which was a comedic action movie, not an action movie with comedic moments in it) or the slapstick bullshit that was Homecoming and Doctor Strange, there was still a little too much in there at least for me.

 I laughed for sure but it still felt a bit too ‘this is a Marvel movie so we need to have humour moments because that’s part of our brand don’t ya know!’. In particular Wong and Doctor Strange mentioning talking about ice cream in the middle of the discussion about Thanos’ impending invasion of Earth was way too far. Even if it wasn’t specifically Doctor Strange in that scene it was just stupid that we needed to cram a joke like that in a scene that realistically shouldn’t be there.

 Another of the admittedly few problems with the movie was that the Infinity Stones’ abilities were rather vaguely defined. Like...what exactly DOES the power stone do? What are the limits of the Time Stone? Because in Doctor Strange it seemed to be able to turn back all of time but in this movie Wanda kills Vision by destroying his Infinity Stone and then Thanos beats her up. He proceeds to reverse time so HE can get Vision’s stone but Wanda remains beaten. So...can he localize the effects of the Time Stone...apparently.

 This becomes kind of a plot hole considering a major point of the movie was his need to kill Gamora in order to attain the Soul Stone. But if he can reverse Time...why couldn’t he just go back in time and save her?

 Things get even more screwy because the Reality Stone enables him to apparently WARP reality. At first it seems like he can just cast convincing illusions. But no...he literally turns Drax into stone and makes Star-Lord’s gun shoot bubbles.

 He can warp reality.

 But if he can do that...why does he need the other Stones at all? Why is Gamora’s death a big deal because he could just warp reality in order to bring her back couldn’t he? Hell why did he struggle at all in ANY of his battles with the Avengers/Guardians?

 I’m not saying there is no way to explain this stuff (e.g. that he needs a certain degree of concentration to maintain his alterations to reality) but the movie needs to GIVE them to us.

 My final bone of contention would be the changes to Thanos’ character. I’m no Thanos expert but even I know the character’s drive is his romantic feelings for Death. If you didn’t know in the Marvel Universe Death is literally a sentient Cosmic entity that can adopt various forms, most commonly that of a woman.

That is how Thanos sees her and he is literally in love with her. He kills people to please her. THAT is the reason he is known as Thanos the MAD Titan.

In this movie though his motivation is to kill half of the universe’s population because the universe only has a finite amount of resources thus less people, the more people can live happily off those resources.

Like I said it’s an interesting and in a warped way sympathetic motivation.

He doesn’t hate anyone, he isn’t evil he has looked at the problem and come up with a coldly pragmatic solution...Kinda...

I guess you could just handwave this on him being so deranged as to honestly commit to murdering half of everyone alive but when you think about it his plan doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

I mean for starters killing half of everyone is a temporary solution at best. Once upon a time there were less people alive then there are today so those numbers will go BACK up given time?

Was his plan to just keep the numbers down whenever they get too big?

Secondly if his argument is that resources are finite so there needs to be less people in order to consume those resources well...that doesn’t really fix the problem. Because those finite resources are still going to be consumed, it will just take twice as long.

And what about places for whom those resources are already mostly depleted so the half who have survived can’t make that much use of them anyway?

How about those planets that are actually SO over populated that their resources are still not enough to support even half the population?

Then you have the fact that if Thanos can warp reality to the point where clicking his fingers kills half of everyone in the universe couldn’t he just snap his fingers and DOUBLE the resources for everyone?

Couldn’t he just create like more planets with more resources and more space for everyone?

See the ‘half of everyone alive are gone’ thing IS directly from the original Infinity Gauntlet storyline but in that story it didn’t raise these questions because the entire reason he killed half of everyone was because he was trying to impress Death.

I know, I know. The movie’s motivation is an easier concept to grasp and easier to sell to a mass audience than ‘Death literally looks like a woman to him and he wants to make sweet love with her’.

At the same time...it’s SUCH a bold and strong idea that it’s honestly far more original and striking than the motive this movie gave him.

More importantly though in removing that motive they kind of...eviscerated the foundation of Thanos.

Like if you are doing an adaptation of Thanos the ONE thing you need to do is have him be in love with Death.

That is literally the thing his whole character revolves around.

To not do that is to essentially just do an uber powerful purple alien who can take down whole hordes of super heroes and has the trappings of Thanos.

Like I said I like the move and I liked Thanos in it but at the same time it was a really bad portrayal of him.

Speaking of which...

Let’s talk Spider-Man

...Sigh...god dammit...

Look not much new to say.

Spider-Man in this movie much like his other MCU appearances is defined by his youth and his relationship to Stark.

The character can be summed up as ‘the young inexperienced kid hero who’s a pseudo son to Tony Stark’.

THAT is who MCU Peter Parker is.

That is also fundamentally NOTHING like who Peter Parker is!

How badly did they lean on this take on him though?

They leaned on this take on him so badly that Doctor Strange LITERALLY asked if he was Tony Stark’s ward. The film makers LITERALLY referenced how they’ve turned Spider-Man into a pseudo Robin to Iron Man’s Batman.

They also had Spidey cry and wimper at the prospect of dying.

This is something I’m conflicted over.

On the one hand if Spider-Man is the everyman, the hero who could be you, his ability to feel fear, especially over his own demise, should make such an portrayal of him permissible right?

Well...yes and no.

First of all the overwhelming majority of the time whenever Spider-Man truly believes himself to be facing what seems to be inevitable death he’s NOT acted that way. In ASM #40 he was at the mercy of the Goblin and even stated he wasn’t afraid to die. YES he was older than MCu Spider-Man but he was 19 vs 15. It’s not that big of a difference frankly.

But okay even if we ignore that we have Ultimate Peter Parker, whom MCU Spidey is clearly more based upon than the 616 version, definitely NOT acting that way during the Death of Spider-man story arc.

But honestly I think my problem with the scene (apart from him dying in Stark’s arms to further beat you over the head with the fact that he is Tony’s ‘son’) was kind of my problem with Superman murdering Zod in Man of Steel.

It’s not that you can’t have that happen but it’s when you are having it happen.

In Man of Steel it was an origin movie and the first movie to establish that version of Superman.

What this means is that we needed to see Clark become Superman but also have Superman be as definitively Superman and do the usual Superman stuff as much as possible. This is also why the Dawn of Justice version of Batman didn’t work. You can say it’s Batman at the end of his rope all you want but that doesn’t mean anything if we haven’t seen what Batman is NORMALLY like.

You need to establish the default setting for the characters, what their typical personalities are like and then you can push the envelope with stuff like that.

With Spider-Man because they’ve leant so hard on the ‘HE’S YOUNG’ thing and had him cry and whimper in Homecoming’s climax as well as this movie’s climax (which are 2 of his 3 appearances so far) it’s served to push that this is part of the ‘default’ setting for MCU Spider-Man.

MCU Spider-Man cries and whimpers as a child would. Which is not something that’s wrong  to do with Spider-Man’s character especially in context of these movies...but it IS wrong to do them at such significant moments so early in his existence to the point where it is essentially the default setting.

Spider-Man does not TYPICALLY act that way but MCU Spider-Man now DOES. It also undermines Homecoming’s climax as wasn’t that moment supposed to show Peter growing beyond that?

Hell as the trailer revealed he becomes an Avenger in this movie the very thing he REJECTED as part of his character arc at the end of Homecoming. WTF?

One some positive notes though he was not AS bad as he was in Homecoming, he had a clever plan at one point, was a FAR more competent fighter than in his own movie and the Iron Spider Suit’s inclusion surprisingly didn’t undermine the ending of Homecoming. I and everyone else suspected he would go against his decision at the end of Homecoming and accept the new suit Stark made for him in light of Thanos’ threat. But what actually happened was that Stark essentially forced him into the suit to save his life. And whilst that again undermines Spidey by making him Tony’s child, it at least avoids invalidating his rejection of the suit in Homecoming.

Over all I give the movie a solid A as a movie and like a solid B as an adaptation...except for the Spider-Man parts. Fuck those they get a D.

P.S. I feel my inner nerd needs to point out that this movie as an adaptation is actually a fusion (to varying degrees) of mostly FOUR different stories.

It takes the name from the Infinity War storyline but (much like Age of Ultron) the name is the only thing it really takes.

As most people know the movie is based upon the 1990s crossover event (back when those were less common and usually less atrociously awful) Infinity Gauntlet.

However since a significant chunk of the movie is spent upon Thanos’ acquisition of the infinity stones the movie is actually also a (very, very loose) adaptation of the Thanos Quest storyline which was the lead in story to Infinity Gauntlet.

It also took a not insignificant amount of inspiration from Jonathan Hickman’s Infinity storyline, which was Marvel’s annual event story for 2013.

At the time it’s likely that story was done to merely capitalize upon Thanos’ tease from the post-credits scene in Avengers Assemble the previous year.

Now though I’m wondering if it might have been used to generate prototype concepts for the Infinity War movie to play with.

Thanos invading Wakanda is straight out of Infinity as are (unless I am mistaken) ALL of Thanos’ henchmen. Proxima Midnight, Black Maw, Supergiant, Korvus Glaive, his foot soldiers. They’re all specifically from that story. Also fun fact I essentially had to skim that entire event for my first day and my new job in 2016.

Obviously there are other little aspects taken from other Marvel stories too, like the new Spider suit is inspired by the Iron Spider suit that originally had nothing to do with any given Thanos story.

[kelleyschorn]

Kelley Reviews: Solo: A Star Wars Story

If I’m being honest, I had mixed feelings going into this movie. The trailer was great. The art was great. But it wasn’t Harrison Ford. When I heard they were making a movie about Han’s early years I thought they were crazy. I thought that, in both the trailer and the posters, his hair looked terrible. I thought no one could fill Ford’s shoes and do Han like he could. In a way, I was right. But Alden Ehrenreich wasn’t trying to portray the Han Solo from a New Hope, he was playing Han Solo, the kid who hasn’t experienced life yet, and I think he did a damn good job.

And his hair actually did look good after all.

Warning: this review contains SPOILERS!!!

WHAT WORKED

The cast. Come on now the acting in this movie was absolutely incredible especially Alden! I will say this, in the week leading up to The Last Jedi, my best friend and I watched every single Star Wars movie and after seeing Solo, I rewatched A New Hope. That being said, I think Alden’s portrayal of Han was spot on. He gave us a young and inexperienced Han who has never been heartbroken or truly betrayed. This was the story that built the basis of who Han Solo is in episode IV. Donald Glover also did an amazing job at playing the young Lando. I thought this view of the character felt like an expansion to what I already knew. When we first meet Lando in Empire he comes across as an already full fledged, rounded character. Seeing his part in Solo’s coming of age is like seeing that added back story that we didn’t even know we wanted. I ate it up and I’m sure the rest of the audience did as well. Woody Harrelson as Becket was a brilliant cast choice. I love him as an actor and I love what he brought to this movie. In a way, this is almost a repeat character for him, the disappointing father figure/mentor was the same archetype he played as Haymitch from the Hunger Games. Though this movie’s tone and setting were so completely different that it didn’t feel like a repeat at all. He was the perfect formative person with flawed morals to influence Han.

Chewie. For some reason, when I saw the trailer, I thought that Han would meet Chewbacca on whatever planet Wookies come from. What really happened was much more creative. The fact that the empire had a Wookie prisoner as “a beast” and would feed prisoners and deserters to him gives us a little information on how Wookies are seen in this world. Before this movie, I thought that they were seen the same as any other intelligent alien race but this movie leads me to believe that their brute strength and strange language maybe gives them a monstrous stereotype among the other races. Props to Alden for his scene where he speaks Wookie. That was one of my favorite Han and Chewie moments! One thing I thought was a bit lame was the moment that leads Han to give his bestie his infamous nickname. “Chewbacca? I’m not saying that every time.” I thought this was lazy and a bit lame on the writers’ part. He should have just called him that offhand one day. That’s how nicknames really happen. In a universe where people interact with aliens who have weird long names on the reg, this just didn’t make much sense.

The writing. The writing for me had some great things that worked and it also had some things that didn’t quite work. What worked however, worked really well. I loved that at the beginning of the story, when Han is about to set off on his next great adventure, the only thing of value he’s got is his stolen vial of coaxium and at the very end of the movie, as he’s leaving to go on his next adventure he carries with him yet another single vial of coaxium. Love that! And let’s not forget the Kessel Run. How epic is that that they decide to tell us that story that Han’s always bragging about in the original trilogy?? Brilliant. And that whole scene where he flew the actual run was so well done and had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I thought for sure that that coaxium was going to blow them out of that universe. Also, for those of you who haven’t seen A New Hope recently, I’ll point out that at the end of Solo he brags that he made the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs and Chewie says something so which Han replies, “Not if you round down.” In A New Hope, he first brags about it saying that he flew the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs. Looks like as time goes on he keeps rounding down.

Some people have said that they had an issue with Han’s romance in the movie but I liked it for what it did for the plot. We had to see Han as he was before: happy and a bit naïve about the universe he lives in and in love with a person who changes while he stays the same, which in turn is another cause for his own eventual change.

WHAT DIDN’T WORK

So one of the things that didn’t work for me was the timeline. Nothing particularly wrong with it but for the fact that Han runs a grand total of two smuggling missions with Beckett and somehow has become the more jaded man he is by the end of the movie. I wish they had given us a montage, showing him running multiple missions with becket between the first one and the Kessel Run and shown some glimpses of teaching moments during this time. Even just to give Han the actual believable amount of time to learn from the Beckett the lesson’s he claimed to have learned by the end. I just think that two missions is way too short of a time to have a real lasting impact on Han. He was working for the empire for much longer and that supposedly hasn’t affected him as much as two short missions with Beckett has?

Another thing that didn’t work for me was Darth Maul. Why is he alive? Where did he come from? Wasn’t he cut in half?? From the research I did, Darth Maul is supposedly resurrected in the animated series and plays a major role. My problem with this is that I thought that with the release of these newer Star Wars movies that all of the animated plotlines and books would be nullified. The lack of explanation bothers me as I’m sure it has bothered other movie only fans. I’ve heard that the point as also to set up for another Solo movie as well as more offshoot movies including potentially, an Obi Wan stand-alone which I will not complain about.

Overall I loved this movie. I definetly want to see it again while it’s in theaters especially because the theater I saw it at did not give me a ticket stub! I’m still salty about that yall. Thanks for reading and please feel free to email me or DM me on Twitter and join the conversation! I’m eager to know your thoughts on the movie as well. Stay tuned for my next two reviews: Upgrade and Adrift. Saw both of those this weekend and I’m so excited to let you know what I thought of them!

[2nd-rate-film-school]

Why Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End Is Actually a Masterpiece of Modern Blockbuster Cinema

This is a review written by my friend and fellow filmmaker, @kubrickking. It’s a bit long, since she is a huge fan (and good film critic, imo), but it is definitely worth the read.

Since my sisters and I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl in 2003, we have all shared a sense of undying loyalty to the franchise. As BIG Disneyland people, the ride was a staple in our short lives long before we even understood how the concept could become a movie. Thus, we’ve enjoyed going to the midnight premieres, viewing the ride updates, and gathering pirate merchandise through the years. At this point, however, I think it’s fair to say that while we will see whatever film they release, we consider ourselves more fans of the original trilogy than what has followed with Dead Men Tell No Tales and - what was that fourth one called again?

To that point, this review is going to be biased as shit. I was an impressionable kid when I first saw these films and I will always remember them fondly. That being said, I just rewatched them at the age of twenty and feel my reaction is very similar. I was only fourteen when I saw the fourth film and was able to admit that it was terrible. In addition, know that this is not a reflection on Johnny Depp or any of the recent publicity he has faced. I am, and would hope you are as well, able to separate his work as an actor in this series from the recent revelations about his personal life.

As a side note, I am operating this review under the information given in the films, not the historical accuracy of pirates during this time. I don’t know if pirates regularly helped transport slaves and I acknowledge that the themes related to pirates having duality as both savage criminals and good men shows undeniable moral ambiguity regarding the historical truth. Jack, along with Will, is a romanticized version of a “good” pirate for the sake of a family-friendly protagonist in a story about pirates. And this analysis operates under a full awareness of that fact.

Regardless, one of the things that has always bothered me is the dismissal of the third film subtitled At World’s End. Common criticism of the film labels it as too long, too odd, and too exaggerated with little at stake and even littler sense to it. I do agree that any viewers expecting a simple, enjoyable action flick will be undoubtedly disappointed with the third Pirates offering. However, if you’re the part of the audience that is at all invested in Jack’s dive into the Kraken at the end of Dead Man’s Chest and is smart enough to realize the film is only truly 15 minutes longer than the other two, At World’s End delivers more than you could ever ask for as a conclusive chapter.

While the first film is obviously the most efficient and coherent on both a plot and tonal level, the third film acts as a bridge for cohesiveness between the entire trilogy without shying away from taking risks. And I firmly believe these risks pay off. Unfortunately, a majority of viewers feel it is more madness than brilliance. And to them I say, “It’s remarkable how often those two traits coincide.”

The film begins on such a dark note that it’s easy to see how people get the initial impression that it will not be a “fun ride.” A montage of hangings with a somber pirates hymn that ends with the murder of a child who can’t even reach the noose without a barrel to stand on is quite a way to open a film. And those are the kinds of risks you will see taken throughout the entirety of the movie’s 169 minutes. And I intend to prove to you that they are worth it.

From that first moment onward, you are given a direct association for the villain which up to this film is still underdeveloped and has done the majority of his evil actions off screen. The actions of Lord Cutler Beckett - or the pathetic cousin from another Keira Knightley film: Pride and Prejudice - now have tangibility. He’s no longer just the plot device for the evil Davy Jones, but a bastard in his own right. While Jones did senselessly murder sailors with the Kraken, his actions were motivated by a personal and justified search for Jack. But he never murdered children during a crackdown on pirate conspirators. Beckett’s actions serve as a power play, but also as revenge for Jack's refusal to transport slaves for the East India Trading Company; okay I’ll admit, Beckett’s motivations are still a little glossed over. But the film is juggling so many of the series' villains, anti-heroes, and “bloody pirates” with selfish motivations that a further explanation just isn’t necessary. Let me clarify that. Beckett’s specific personal motivations beyond greed for fucking everything up would simply distract from what we all really care about: Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Fucking Swann.

The film proceeds to build characters and set up future plot efficiently as the setting moves to Singapore, which is not a “random” or “meaningless” choice as some would have you believe. Dialogue from Jack in the first film and during the search for him in the second have previously established Singapore as a hub for a significant band of pirates. Their journey there serves a two-fold purpose of procuring mythological navigational charts that will provide a course to Davy Jones’ Locker as well as a ship and crew to get them there. They do all the pirate-y things like misdirect attention to allow an alternate plan of stealing the charts including a crew below the floorboards ready to provide weaponry and the secondary motivation of enlisting Sao Feng in the meeting of the Bretheren Court. It also gives just a glimpse of the assertion and decisiveness that Elizabeth has carried over from her choice to sacrifice Jack to the Kraken at the end of Dead Man’s Chest.

The number one thing I love about the romance at the center of Pirates is that Elizabeth and Will still have their individual character arcs, motivations, and plot. Even after the revelation that Elizabeth indeed left Jack, they do not immediately fall back into the simple conflicts related to their affections. A confrontation below deck parallels the scene from the first film as secrets and feelings are once again revealed. But instead of making this the focus, they both decide to carry on their journeys making their own choices. In fact, the root of their individual character arcs can be traced back to the first twenty minutes of the first film, Elizabeth’s being a more internal struggle and Will’s a more external one. Elizabeth continuously evaluates her own evolving moral beliefs and desires for her life; does she condone, participate in, and forgive the actions of pirates or does she condemn them. Meanwhile, Will must focus on the familial promise and connection with his pirate father Bootstrap Bill Turner that has been a source of conflict for him since the opening sequence of the series.

Just as it has always been, their love story at the heart of it is pulled apart and put back together by the choices they make and, thus, the people they choose to become. Neither needs the other for fulfillment per say - this is why Will always waits until the last moment to profess his love or insist they marry - but they work better together than they do apart. And that is why their ending is both ironic and essential. Their marriage being officiated by Barbosa in between sword fights with cursed pirates is the only appropriate setting for the unification of the two and one of the best damn scenes.

Call me dumb or sappy, but this romance still feels honest and emotional to me in its restraint. Even though I know it was cooked up in some board room meeting of Hollywood execs, I still genuinely feel invested in it. I think it comes down to the fact that they don’t hit you over the head with it. They allow the female character room to breathe and grow independent from the romance; which is perhaps why you can interpret her ending as either the greatest or worst conclusion to a character arc. Elizabeth’s speech to the crew of the Black Pearl before they enter into battle with the Flying Dutchman gives me chills every time. Because of her heart, dedication, and true duality, she is able to understand and act on the conflict with a decisiveness and purpose that none of the other pirates can. She has allegiance to her beliefs unlike the fickle criminals around her. She fights with and for values and a purpose, enjoying the adventure and adrenaline along the way.

In a similar way, Jack Sparrow’s character is fairly consistent through this film. There is justified criticism about Depp’s performance becoming a parody of the original idea as the series has progressed, and I would agree that it has never been as pure as it was in the first film. However, I don’t feel that Sparrow becomes a full caricature until the fourth film onward and I will tell you why.

Sparrow has always been defined by equal parts wit and luck. The details of his plans or the existence of them at all has always been left up to the interpretation of the audience, with rather blatant characterization from British soldiers about if he “plans it all out or just makes it up as he goes along.” While we can assume he gets lucky a lot and doesn’t always win - i.e. the mutiny that is ingrained in his character’s history - there is obvious intelligence lurking underneath all his actions. He’s persuasive and charming in the way a dirty, murderous pirate shouldn’t and doesn’t need to be. For example, Jack spends most of the second film convincing others that the only way to get what they want is to help him first. He weighs their desires and presents ultimatums, using whatever he has as leverage against them. Jack’s long-winded dialogue scenes where he talks someone around his finger function in the same way that deduction scenes do for Sherlock Holmes.

What makes this most impressive, or the laziest writing ever, is that the people around him are often not unintelligent people. Elizabeth, Barbosa, and Will have all outsmarted Jack on screen by the beginning of the third movie, Elizabeth’s trickery even proving fatal for him. Because of this, Jack’s character is only half what’s written for him.  He is also half Depp’s performance, which does not feel strained in the original three films. Some classic Jack Sparrow moments you may have forgotten actually take place in this film include the canon firing springboard onto the pearl with Beckett’s toy figure in the mouth of the barrel, the discovery and following flipping of the ship to return home, and the manipulation of the Bretheren court to approve a vote for pirate king and subsequent battle with Beckett.

Also, if your argument is that Jack became the main character when he should only be a strong supporting character, HE DOESN’T EVEN APPEAR ON SCREEN UNTIL THIRTY-TWO MINUTES INTO THE FILM. He is a supporting character in this movie. That is tremendous restraint considering the major draw for most viewers, which was heavily capitalized upon by Disney, was Depp’s performance as Captain Jack. And when they finally do show him, it is a lengthy eight minute sequence of him arguing with himself, eating peanuts, licking rocks, and rocks becoming crabs that roll the Pearl over sand into an ocean. Not necessarily the audience-catering character re-introduction you’d see in a Marvel film. Jack is in a mythological purgatory or hell that represents the silly and truly odd essence of pirate lore, and the filmmakers honor that. From the moment Jack is back with the crew on the Pearl, his comedic moments hit every time - with the exception of the angel and devil shoulder Jacks. His interactions with everyone from Barbosa to Will to Davy Jones to Beckett are spot on. Jack is witty, wily, and wondrous as ever while twisting the desires of those around him to spare his life time and time again.

But it’s not just the comedic moments this film gets right, it also nails the emotional and dramatic ones. Particularly Will’s final moments after being stabbed by Davy Jones and Jack’s confrontation with the now dead and beached Kraken hit perfectly. Still, my favorite scene of the whole film has to be Elizabeth’s speech which leads the Pearl into battle with the Dutchman. Dialogue from three male characters plays out in the background as the camera circles Elizabeth, in solemn reflection over the release of Calypso and the impending fight. “Then what shall we die for?” she questions Barbosa. Then she continues with the fiercest fifty second monologue, throwing Barbosa’s words back at him and using them in a way he never could to inspire the pirates aboard the Pearl to rise to the occasion and “hoist the colours” - effectively answering the plea of the chain gang in the beginning of the film.

As with many blockbusters, there is a dramatic scene where the audience typically laughs out of turn. So let me be clear: if you even laugh a little bit during Elizabeth’s desperate attempts to bring her ghostly father aboard, you have no heart whatsoever. It is quite obvious to the audience, who has already been told the people in the boats are dead, that Governor Swann is beyond help. However, to the eye of someone who has seen the mythical Kraken devour the living person beside them, it may not seem so impossible that her father can also be saved. As a matter of fact, why couldn’t they save him?? I am still crying during this scene ten years later. Not because I loved his character, but because I can easily imagine my own parent afloat in one of those boats and my own hysterical attempts to reach them. Take a moment, please, and imagine your parent in this position. Not so stupid now, is she??

And this brings me to my favorite thing about the film: the visual language. Working with supernatural fables and period piece restrictions, At World’s End utilizes an array of solid and effective visuals that stimulate on levels of both the studium and the punctum. An Asian pirate ship floats on still water like glass that reflects the starry night into a mirror image, as they travel into a dimension of suspended time and space at the world’s end to retrieve a dead soul from eternal purgatory. Jack Sparrow gazes into his own reflection in the dead eye of the rotting beast that killed him and contemplates the true nature of freedom in relation to immortality. “The world used to be a bigger place,” says Barbosa and Jack responds, “The world’s still the same. There’s just less in it.” The wrath of a scorned lover materializes into a swirling maelstrom that becomes the setting for the separation of another pair of lovers. Jack holds the heart of a monster in his hand, blade at the ready, and hesitates in completing the task for fear that he faces his own future cruelty. These images as well as others in the film elevate interesting and elaborate themes into dynamic expressions of consciousness. Don’t even get me started on the coloring. And you get all those layers with an amazing dose of action and thrills.

Also, the effects in this movie still look great because they are 90% practical. Wait, you mean the series with skeleton and fish pirates has practical effects? Yes, you asshat, CGI was only used to supplement the majority of the special effects you see. While certain settings and the crew of the Dutchman are obviously computer generated, all the scenes involving ship effects were either done with the built-to-scale, fully functioning set pieces or models before receiving any post-production visual effects aid. The scenes underwater were actually shot underwater with all the lead cast and the final twenty-minute storm battle was shot on the ship decks with manufactured torrential rain for 10 weeks straight. Not cool enough yet? They also actually blew up Beckett’s ship and layered the shots of him and the other soldiers on it. That Singapore set they blew up was indoors with at least four feet of water and an entire series of buildings on stilts. And honestly that’s almost nothing compared to the shit they actually did in the second film.

Okay. I think I have to wrap this up now because if I even get started on Hans Zimmer’s score, this could double in word count. If you can’t tell already, I really enjoy this super under-appreciated film and I absolutely adore this series as a whole. It has flaws, it can be stupid at times, and sometimes moments fall flat. But the code for a “good” film is "more what you’d call guidelines than actual rules." I still feel my love for this series has been well-founded and well-intentioned for 14 years strong (nearly 70% of my life). Now if you remember "Pirates 3” as being a dud, I encourage you to rewatch and rediscover the magic within. If you were waiting for the "opportune moment," this is it!

[grahammsheppardinc]

Another opinionated jerk makes a top ten movies of 2016 list!

Hey everybody and welcome back to my often neglected blog. It’s been even more neglected this year due to me finally figuring out how to use Instagram. This has been a really, really, really good year for movies. Don’t let the haters bring you down, there was a lot of good stuff this year. For the first time in a long time my list isn’t heavily populated with independent genre work (although I always argue all film is genre). 

My one cravat as always is that I include festival films that might not have opened wide. This year it’s only one film I think.

Anyways without further adieu:

TOP TEN FILMS OF 2016

1. CHRISTINE

written by Craig Shilowich; directed by Antonio Campos; staring Rebecca Hall, Michael C. Hall, Tracy Letts

This film stuck with me long after watching it. Even now I can’t really get it out of my head. Not to be confused with Kate Plays Christine which also examines the story of television journalist Christine Chubbuck who famously, or rather infamously, committed suicide live on air in 1974. This film is not an entirely joyless watch, and it’s care and craft with the tragic story is stunning.

Rebecca Hall (who I’d somehow never seen in anything before) gives a performance that is so nuanced that you completely understand the depression that hangs over her, and makes her suicide less of shocking event and more of a soft sad gradual ending. 

2. NEON DEMON

written by Mary Laws, Polly Stenham, Nicholas Winding Refn; directed by Nicholas Winding Refn; staring Elle Fanning, Jena Malone, Abbey Lee, Bella Heathcote

Haters are gonna hate. That’s the best way to describe the critical reaction to this movie. I don’t want all my thoughts to be about the reaction the film had at Cannes and afterwards but it definitely defined the conversation around this film. 

Hopefully with time an audience will find the film and appreciate it for what it is: pure style and attitude. It’s a punk rock middle finger to the male gaze. 

3. COLOSSAL

written & directed by Nacho Vigalondo; staring Anne Hathaway, Jason Sudeikius, Tim Blake Nelson, Dan Stevens, Austin Stowell

The single most original film I’ve seen this year. It’s a film about addiction and the effect it has on giant monsters destroying South Korea. I’m not saying anything else because that would ruin the sheer joy of watching this film.

4. HELL OR HIGH WATER

written by Taylor Sheridan; directed by David MacKenzie; staring Chris Pine, Ben Foster, Jeff Bridges, Gil Birmingham

Truly the first great modern-time western since Vanishing Point in the 70s. I’d argue it’s even a better western than No Country For Old Men. One of probably the best portraits of the current American financial landscape, it tells the tale of two brothers (Pine & Foster) who take to robbing banks in order to pay of the mortgage on their late mother’s farmland, while being pursued by two Texas Ranges (Bridges & Birmingham). 

The scene that sums up terrible situation that the brothers find themselves in is when they attempt to take a bank only to find that it has been shut down due to lack of business. 

It could be read as a metaphor for the current financial wasteland that millennials (Pine & Foster) have been born into and the omnipresent crush of the baby boomers and generation x (Bridges & Birmingham) that is damaging the economy beyond repair. And it has shootouts and car chases!

5. LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

adapted & directed by Whit Stillman; staring Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny, Morfydd Clark, Xavier Samuel, Stephen Fry

Whit Stillman always took great inspiration from Jane Austen’s work. Much of his loose comedy of manners trilogy (Metropolitan, Barcelona, Last Days of Disco) would fit right alongside Pride and Prejudice or Emma and would be far more accessible to modern audiences.

This is probably the best (in my opinion only) adaptation of Austen’s work. It’s (as far as I know) the only adaptation of her short novel “Lady Susan.” Beckinsale plays the titular Lady Susan who flirts, gossips, backstabs, and snarks her way through Britain attempting to secure financial security for herself   (and possibly her daughter if by accident). 

Don’t let the period pedigree fool you: this is a hilarious comedy first and foremost. It succeeds where nearly all other Austen adaptations fail because Stillman embraces the terrible way the characters treat each other and minimizes the too-precious romance that sinks most other adaptations of her work. 

6. BLAIR WITCH

written by Simon Barrett; directed by Adam Wingard; staring James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Brandon Scott, Corbin Reid, Wes Robinson, Valorie Curry

At some point it became trendy to crap on any film that was a long late sequel. Especially a sequel to a cultural juggernaut like The Blair Witch Project. A lot of people wrote this film off as a warmed over retread of the original. To be honest I’m sure most of those people didn’t actually see the movie. Or if they did they went in with mind made up and refused to admit that this movie is pretty damned good. And very damned scary.

I caught it at Midnight Madness at the 2016 Toronto International Film Festival. Only the hardest of the hardcore go to those screenings and the place was terrified. 

The team behind the ludicrously awesome films “You’re Next” and “The Guest” (Barrett & Wingard) made a balls-to-the-wall horror show with their Blair Witch. The audience will feel totally beaten up by the end of this movie and leave questing their safety in society.

7. THE NICE GUYS

written by Anthony Bagarozzi & Shane Black; directed by Shane Black; staring Ryan Gosling, Russel Crowe, Angourie Rice

It’s Shane Black doing a gumshoe hardboiled detective story set in grimy 1970s Los Angeles set during Christmas. If I need to say more: you guys are jerks.

8. THE WITCH

written & directed by Robert Eggers; staring Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Harvey Scrimshaw, Ellie Grainger, Lucas Dawson

The genius of this movie is that there are no real twists in it; yet it’s wholly (holy?) satisfying. A family of devout Christians are exiled and isolated, and are driven to distrustful paranoia when a coven of witches and the most evilest goat ever to grace the screen target them. A satanic bunny kills a dog and a woman mistakes a crow for her infant son. It’s got everything!

Haunting, horrifying, and beautiful this film is so captivating that it was equally praised by theologians and satanists. It’s mystifying and mysterious in how good of a film it is.

9. LA LA LAND

written & directed by Damien Chazelle; staring Ryga Gosling, Emma Stone, John Legend

Haters are gonna hate, but this movie is simply great. 

A musical that finally breaks free of the Andrew Lloyd Webber/Tim Rice/jukebox musical crappola that we’ve had to deal with since the 70s. You don’t walk away remembering any songs, because the film never comes to a stop to say “here’s a song!”

 The music actually is integral to the emotion and character of the story. And it’s quite good too. And maybe now I kinda like jazz?

10. HUSH

written by Kate Siegel & Mike Flanagan; directed by Mike Flanagan; staring Kate Siegel, John Gallagher Jr., Samantha Sloyan, Michael Trucco

Make no bones about it: this is a mean movie. It’s got one of the most clever concepts I’ve ever seen: how would a deaf mute woman defend herself against a home invader?

It’s gripping and tense and you just want the lead character of Maddie (Kate Siegel) to survive and defeat her assailant (John Gallagher Jr.). The movie is essentially just the two of them trying to outsmart one another while both deal with Maddie’s handicap.

It’s just scary enough while never crossing over into the hardcore horror territory the would alienate mainstream audiences.

--------------------       ------------------------         -------------------------

So, that’s it. Sorry it’s a little late. I still haven't seen everything I wanted to see that came out last year. And I should have included Everybody Wants Some!! somewhere but whatever.

Stay scared.

-G

January 2017