#i try not to

[quintessential-candles]

Upset over my special interests again :/

[popcorn-plots]

feeling ✨ incompetent ✨ compared to my brother

he has

a girlfriend

a job

savings

the confidence to buy things he wants

height

security in his friend groups

confidence. period.

I have:

no job

jobs I've applied to who never got back to me

a crush? and a platonic lesbian wife

crippling anxiety that makes me freeze up whenever I have to make a slightly large decision

closeted enby/trans dude with dysphoria

negative self-worth

all my friends graduated and I'm terrified that I'm going to be alone for my senior year

tickets to comicon, a doctor strange obsession

spent a lot of time, energy, and money on cosplays

spent more than I care to admit on comics and books

[corpsezinthecloset]

vent posting sorry chat. I hate my art, I hate my style, I hate everything I draw. It's all the same thing over and over again, yeah, there's pretty colors, but there's nothing new. No matter how hard I push myself I cannot leave my comfort zone, not that that's a bad thing, no, but I don't want to be stuck forever drawing the same things. I can't find my style, no matter how many colors I use, how many pretty effects I put over it, no matter how I shade. It's bland and forced, and I hate all of it. I'm trying to change my style, but nothing works, I'm stuck with my shitty art for the rest of my shitty life.

[anti-ao3]

i hate my classmates for making suicide and self-harm jokes so openly, you guys never wonder you might trigger someone?? how do you never think about that????

[sschmendrick]

thinking about friends i left on bad terms with whom i can never go back but who i still love. But I wasn't a great person then, wouldn't even call me a good person. I'm glad to see them thrive.

Feels bittersweet to look back at things I still have from them. I wish I was a better person then. I wish I could have been better for others. But also then I wouldn't have met the people I have.

I hope they don't think about me, ever. Feels somewhat bad to be able to look back and see the good moments we had and the good person they were, because I don't think they could do that. And also I don't think I deserve that.

[penisman420-69]

"this too shall pass" your name is literally etched into my bones.

[mareagirls]

sometimes i get quite excited about the prospect of trying to write fics again after months of not writing at all and then i think about how lonely being and posting on tumblr feels all the time and the excitement passes!

[kasarian]

i STILL have nothing to post. sowwy :<

been trying to get my energy back. did you know my university is pleading students to enroll this DECEMBER 20TH. majority of the tri-sem uni students just finished their last plates today. and im sick of hearing about school? the admins just dont want to give us a break and it really kills me inside.

so yes. sorry :'>

i need to kick my own butt soon to finished ALL accumulated owed art. hopefully soon! because I'd really really REALLY love to draw for Myself....

[slimegirlwarlock]

do mew ever think

[edwardskhakipants]

I've decided why I don't seem to like Jacob as much as other ppl. And it's all because of how poorly he was written. Truly.

The first time I read the series, I scanned New Moon and only read the parts where Edward's name was mentioned. So, the first time I spent a lot of time with Jacob as a character was Eclipse. All I really knew of him was the boy who interrupted his dad's friend's daughter's prom to get a part for a car, then the boy who continuously forced himself on the main character. Obviously, not a great impression.

Because of that impression, when I eventually went back and reread New Moon in its entirety, I did not get the same Sunshine Boy vibes everyone else did. Instead, I got the vibes of a "Nice Guy" doing nice things for a girl to earn points that he intended to trade for romance. It ruined all the soft moments because all I saw was the manipulative jerk from Eclipse.

It's super disappointing. Jacob had the bones of a great character and could have been so much. Comic relief, someone outside of her boyfriend's family Bella could go to for advice, the voice of reason against vampirism. It's a damn shame he got reduced to "love interest".

[lrndvs]

compliments from girls go hard

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I think one of the kindest things you can do for people with various mental health struggles is just... let people back into your life after they've been absent for a while.

Making friends as an adult is so fucking hard already and isolating yourself from other people is a very common symptom of depression, anxiety, burnout, ocd, trauma, grief, etc. Which means that someone will do the hard work of recovery/healing and resurface back into a world where their previous friends have written them off because they stopped showing up.

So if you know someone where you're like "yeah we could have been better friends but they fell off the map a bit" and that person suddenly reaches out, or starts showing up to events even though you kind of forgot they were still in the group chat... well they may have been Going Through It and you don't actually have to punish them for their absence you can just be glad that they're back.

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[skullchicken]

If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)

I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).

[theboxfort]

Peace and love

[hahaoatmeal]