#i wabt to cry it’s real

[verstappenist]

i’m sitting across @fallingprincess rn

and tomorrow well be sitting across from @moon--kiss !!!!

[mukuberry]

i wanna cry... im looking at the flower he's holding. look at it. its just not the same flower as the one hes holding in the top image. the top one is duller and has a whole new leaf on it... its just not the same flower for one specific frame. where tf did that leaf come from huh. did the creators just accidentally swap the flower or something. idk... thats a whole different flower man

[sasssydaddy123]

Pulled my Unnus Annus shirt out of the closet and almost had a heart attack because it's been 4 fucking years???

[nomairuins]

i want to watch the things on my watchkist but i also never do its rly tragic

[miyaheestar]

live reaction to the pack wedding audio

KISS SJSGJS DAVID KISS HAIII HAI DAVID 🥺🥺🥺

"i just want a little time with you today, before everything goes crazy" MSHSMHDMSHSM IM GONNA GO INSANE

IM GOING INSANE IM IM GOING IM INSANE IM ACTUALLY DGINGSJSYSISGSKGAJA

"how are you feeling?" NOT GOOD MY BODY TEMPERATURE IS HIGH IM GOING INSANE FYM YOU TOO

"WE MADE IT" WHAT IF I DONT MADE IT WHAF IF I CRY WHAT IF YOU DIE DO NAWT SAY YOU LOVE ME I WILL CRY DAVID SHAW I WILL ACTUALLY CRY SO HARD

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY"HE SOUNDS SO FUCKING HAPPY AND SOFT IM ACTUALLY CRYING IM NOT NAWT OKAY IM NOT PLS DONT DO THIS TO ME PLS

"beautiful" i haven't showered and i didn't sleep and it's 7 am in the morning are you blind

"you are. especially first thing in the morning. still all sleepy and cuddly and relaxed. im the luckiest man in the world to get to see it everyday.. for the rest of my life" do you want me to die?

MGSMSGSMSHSM I WANNA CRY SEND HELP SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOSBSOSBSOSBSOSJSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOWIS

pls i will actually cry

"you fucking menace" IM YOUR MENACE HAH

KISS

ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHWR ASHWR ASHERA AHEEDHA ASHER AHSER ASHW AAGE

oh he eepy baby 🥺

good morning asher 🥺

"oh my god it's actually today holy shit it's actually happening" HE'S LIKE ME FOR REAL FOR REAL

"when did you wake up" you think i sleep?

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH SEXY?? AYO I KNOW I AM SEXY

"IM GONNA BE YOUR HUSBAND" WHAT IF I CRY WHAT IF I CRY WHA IF I ACTUALLY LOSE IT THEN WHST IF I DIE WHAT IF YOU DIE OH GOD DON'T DIE ASHER PLEASE

IM TEARING UP DONT DO THIS TO ME

ASHER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHY YOU'RE NOT REAL

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABE" I SAID IT FIRST SO THAT MEANS I LOVE YOU MORE

DAMN RIGHT ASHER DAMN RIGHTTTTT

"about the person who matters to me more than anything else in the whole damn world" STOP STOP THIS OFFICER OFFICER A WEREWOLF TRYNNA SEDUCE ME HE TRYNNA SEDUCE ME SIR I WILL DIE SIR IM BEING SEDUCED

okay scene change

SAM AND ASHER AUGSUAGUAGUAGUAGAUFAUAGAHHUFAHHHH

"mate pairs shouldn't see each other in the morning" DAMN RIGHT SO TRUE HEWL YEAHHH

MILOOOOOO MY BIG.. um SMALL BIG BOY

"grouchy grandpa" HELPPPP "now don't you start." HELLAGSISGSKSG HAHAHAHAHA

"oh my mistake" YOU'RE SO SASSY

... ITS JUST SILENCE HELPP IM CRYING

ERIK PLEASE HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE SO 😭😭😭

ERIK BODOH LAH KAU NI 😭😭😭😭

HELP PLEASE ENOUGH SILENCE PLS THIS IS WAY TOO FUNNY I'LL THROW UP

IM CRYING

STOP THIS

IT'S TOO LONG STOP THE SILENCE ERIK I WILL EAT YOUR HAIR AND YOU'LL BE BALD

ERIK

LMAO MILO NOT THE WARNING

CHRISSY

"are you trying to look like you got married in wind tunnel" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HELPPP MILO PLEASE

"im fine.. i-im not" ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO

aww grandpa sam 🥺🥺🥺

AWWW DAVID HELPING ASHER

"david, can i ask you something?"

STOP STIP SRSOSO STIP SFOP STOP BITCH STOP I WIWLL CRY

"well i did" DO YOU WABT ME TO KILL EVERYONE THEN MYSELF

im not okag im not ojay im not okay I AM NOT OKAY

i cant do this I'll actually pass out

i cant

im hypervinelantagwtbf

"my dad-" SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP DAVID SHAW SHUT UP

"i picked you because you're the one person i trust more than anyone else. you made me feel safe." I WILL ACTUALLY LOSE IT

I WILL LOSE IT

I WILL NO

I WIGSKSGWK

I AM GONNA CRY

"i was a decent alpha but i wasn't a very good friend" so you want me to kill myself

i am genuinely gonna cry

THEY'RE HUGGING IM GONNA CRYYYYYYY IN GONANNAHSGSISFWKSFISV IM NOT OKAY

"ash euw" I LOVE THAT

MILO DO NAWT HURT MA MAN I WILL EAT YOUR REMAINING HEIGHT

MILO SPEECH

"how much does it pay" BOSGSISGSJGAHAGAGAGAGAHAHAGAHA STAPH

what if i jump

i will jump

i won't

i will

i wont

I WILL SOB I WILL WIBSUSVWKSGSJ STOPAHSGSOGSOSGS

IM GETTING MARRIED YALL

IM IM IM IM

IM GONNA GET MARRIED

it sounds like asher and david getting married LMAO

"um" classic opening

asher if you cry YOU BETTER BE CRYING okay he's gonna cry

what if asher dies after his vows

I WILL BE A WIDOW OH GOD

"i love you" IM GONNA KILL MYSELF AND EAT ERIK'S HAIR

so it's just silence and giggles for babe's speech

got it

it's okay i love asher's giggles

"angel" I WILL JUMP BRO

I WILL

I WILL

I WONT IM SCARED OF HEIGHTS

david please cry

PLEASE CRY

GO FULL ON SOBBING

why guy is not angel's brother

HE'S CRYING YALL CHEERS

CHEERS

and he's laughing too

BUT HE'S CRYING YEAYYYYY

LMAO MILO HAHAHAHAGAHA PLEASEEEE

IT SOUNDS LIKE ASHER AND DAVID KISSING WOAH

... I NEED MORE

ERIK ERIK ERIKSON

[romqnticstylez]

rsoei THIS OR THAT MY TURN

hmmmmmmmmmmm um some of this si gomna be the same as urs okay so

irst rhis or that ALEX OR HENRY

thus ir that andrew garfield or leonardo dicaproo

titanic or oror orrrrrr um tfatws

tfatws or pjo series

pjo or hoo

og trio or leo jason piper trio

piper or annabethg

leo or percy HEHEHE EVIL LAUGH

chai or coffe

hindi or wneglish

if u coudk kill soneine and like u woudlnnot have consequences etc u knwo u would qalk free but only ine person who woudl it be

prev wasnot this orthat questib but do i care no

if u were acat wgat breed wouldu wabt DONT SAY ORANFE

laufeyorts

umumumumum the idiotsor rge marauders

wolfstar or jegulus

jegulus or flowerppot

flowerpot or marylily

dorlene or marylily

morequestionslateer

omg hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

hMMMM ok idr anything since i never finsiehd the books and all. you know. ubt im gonna say alex bc he reminds me of leo

OK well wlell wel they r both soooooooooooo 👀👀👀👀 however. only one of them is cool. so andrew 😻😻😻babygril

titanic imSORRY a sayr ofrgive me plspslpsl

ok pjo no hesitaiton. forgive me for my sins a. also sary

THATS SO HARD STOPP um ok lers see UHAISJDASKJD BRO FUCK YOU 😡😡😡😡😡 this is so hadr ughhghhklklg pjo is just. PJOOO and we got GORVERROROOR but no lost trio. and hoo has the lost trio..........but no grover...FUckukfc ok okosaodk im imsdun m it has nico and wiwlwllw too bro so muchslad pain and suffering ok im OGING TO SAY hoo..............................................................................because mark of athena and house of hades and the seven and percabeth is togehter ??? BUT PJO NO I CANT CHOOSE OSJSDAKSJLK BRO WY WOULD U ASK ME THIS 😡😡

umuumumum og trio. becuase. tlt forever<3 I SITLL LVOE U PIPER JASON LEO

annabehtj but piper is still my wife its ok

HOW DARE YOU 👊👊👊👊👊🔪🔪🔪🔪 lets see hmmmmmmmmmmmmm leo is Literally Me but percy is also Literally Me..........................i am ocnea garal.....but i am also builindg silly goofy things garal.....................sceience garal...?..................aftermuch thought. i will choose................................................percy. BECAUSE U KLILELD HIM SO MANY TIMES HE DESRESVES TO BE CHOSEN AT LEAST ONCE wait i was gonna say someting else too umm ok fuck i forgot lol oops I WILL BRING LEO BACK WITH THE POWER OF ACATS Its ok

chai i am ANTI COFFEE sometimes. i dontliek

english 1021i3021391% hidni is alwys cHANGING its fcjkcgnin i DONT KNOW so many weird words. english ez. or maybe im biasde why is it so much easier to speak the first language u ever learend

hmmmm ok ok lets see i dont really have beef w anyone except my games teacher but hm. i could kill someone whos actively killig the earth or someting but idk whos doing the most damage hmmm ok ykw im killin g the games teacher SHE MADE MY BEST FRINED CRY and she has been. anti meowing at her for like ayear. so. bye woman

so real of u

ASKDJKASLJD ok o kolets see i dont acutally know the breeds of animasl very weell um exposed but ok anyways im going to take a uquiz hang on ok ok so at first i got norwegian forest cat but it was NOT me tbh butthen !! i got abyssinian and omg. yes. it's me. the desc is so real tbhbtbh ALSO hwen i searched it up the google image cat was orange lol so def fits

ts alwys but laufey so cool

THE IDIOTS we r ebtter no offesne maraudersgaiz

wolfstar bc i lovekjily<3

si flowerpot jily ???/????/? if yes then flowerpot heueh

flowerpot

dorleene bc jily yes and also their fanart is so. yes

okokok GODOBYE mewo mewo

[transmascnepetaleijon]

i just had the biggest emotionally charged moment ive had this whole year

[gcftaegguk]

.

[astheroid]

Ka-Kacchan 😫💦 (Bakugouwu x reader SMUT 🤯)

Author-chan here!!!!!! I decided to write for my bb Kacchan bc hes just such a cutie >.< hehe anyways ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I walked into the hero association with my long Blonde hair flowing in the wind. “SARAH!!” Deku called, walking over to me. “Baka-Deku, what do you wabt?” I asked, making a cute face. “I heard Kacchan wants youuuuu” he said raising his green puffy eyebrows. “Ka-Kacchan?? Why.. why would he ever want me?” I asked, batting my bright blue eyes in his directuon. “I do not know Sara-chan” he answered, blushing bright red. “I think… he might have a crush on you” I GASPED!! (author’s note: UwU OMGGG IT’S GETTING ~SPICYYYY~) I smiled sweetly at deku before hopping over to Bakugou, flipping my hair over m shoulder. “Ohio K-Kacchan, what do you want?” I said, trying to be tough. He glared at me pomeranian hair sticking up as I touched him. “NOTHING YOU BITCH!!” He yelled, shoving me. I started crying. “BAKA-KUGOU WHY DID YOU DO THAT????” I yelled. He lookd at me. “Idk you’re just ugly.” He said and walked away. I touched my frail wrist and realized it was broken. I went to the doctor’s and got it fixed, mad at Kacchan te whole way. I saw Kacchan after work and went to be mad at him. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?????” I screamed activating my Ice Quirk. “You’RE JUST AN UGLY STUPID EXTRA!!” Ye glared at me, hands booming. “IF I’M SO UGLU WHY DO YOU LIKE MEEEE?????/?” I yelled in his face. He gasped and tears fell from his eyes. “BAKAaAaAaAAAA HOW DO U KNOW THAT?” He said. “I know because your always mean to me :(“ I pouted. He said “t-th-that’s not t-true BAKA-SARAAH.” I grinned menacingly with my fangs. “Of course it’s true Ba-kacchan” “Don’t call me that” he said, blushing. “Ba-kacchan” I said again, my own cheeks getting red against my pale skin. He grabbed my arm “let’s go to my house and see if you wan’t to call me that again Baka-Sarah-chan”. (author’s note: OMGGGGGGG SMUT COMING SOON!!! TANK U FOR READING THIS FAR!!! Should I make a Deku-chan one next? He’s my lil beann and I wanna write 4 him :3)

UwU SMUTTTTTTTTTT BWLOE THE CUT!!!! Skip if you want but its my favorit part ;3

We arrived at his house and no-one was home, it was just me and Kacchan (author’s note: SPICYYYYYY whatr you gonna do bakacchan O///O). He threw me on his bed and took off his shirt (author’s note: MMM HIS STOMACH I’M DROOLING ;w;). He pushed me down and went to the bathroom, when he came out he had no pants too!! I was surprised by his cream stick poking through his underwear. “Take off ur clothes baka” he huffed face very red. I pouted. “Make me Ba-Kacchan”. He growled ferally nd ripped mt clothes off my body. I gasped, pale Skin getting goosebumps. “There I made you” he said rolling his eyes. I blushed very hard. “Now let me show u what happens when you call me Ba-kacchan >:(“ (autho’rs note: *w* OMGOMGOMGOMG IT’S HAPPENING GUYSSS!! YOUR AUTHOR-CHAN IS SOOOO EXCITED!!!). He took off his Dog undies and I saw… A HUGE DING-DONG!!! He put it inside me and moved quickly. I moaned “OoOoOoOoOoOoOoHhHhHhHHHH Ka-Kacchan… go faster!!” He went faster, grumbling my name. After a bit he took his member out and Spat on me. “That’s why u don’t call me Ba-Kacchan Bitch”. I layed on his bed amd panted; legs too weak to stand up. He put his pants over his meat scepter and grinned at me. “I hope you learned your lesson Baka-Sarah”.

------------------------------------------------------------

Smut done :(((( Stay to read the rest tho!!!

I stayed in his house for 30 minutes before leaveing. “B-bye k-k-Kacchan” I stuttered. My legs were still wobbly. I went home and jumped on my bed dreaming of Kacchan railing me again ;). When I woke up I felt really sick and threw up in the bathroom. ‘Oh no……’ I thought. WAS I PREGANTE????? (author’s note: OOHHHHHHHHHHH DRAAAMAAAAA!!! Hehe it gets so exciting) I rushed to the store to buy a test, completely forgetting about my job as a Hero. I gasped at the test. ‘I’m… Perngant??’ I touched my belly. ‘I have Ba-kacchan’s baby in here…” ‘I have to call him’. I called and talked to him on the phone. “K-Kacchan” I stuttered “I got pragnent!” He gasped. “F*ck. Are u gonna keep it?” I gasped. “OF COURSE!!!!! I CAN”T KILL OUR BABY!!!!!!!!!” (author’s note: OMGEEEE THEY’RE FIGHTING 🥺🥺🥺) Kacchan sobbed. “I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY FOR A KID!!” “YOU DON’T NEED TO, I CAN!!!! I DOUN’T NEED YOU ANYWAYS!!!!” I screamed, crying too. He left the call and I cried harder. Idk what to do with a BABY. He came to my house. He crossed his arms madly. “We need to kill the baby.” “NO I CAN’T DO THAT!!” I screamed (author’s note: OoOoOoOoOh THEY’RE GOING THRU IT!!!!!). “Why not????????” He pouted. His hands sparked. “THAT’S MURDER BA-KACCHAN!!!” My long Silky hair whipped around as I yelled up at him. He tried to hit my stomach, but I dodged and Froze him in placee. “DON’T HIT ME BAKA-KUGOU!!!!!!!!” I screamed. “STOP TYRING TO MURDER O U R CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He huffed. “I DON’T WANT A STUPID KID WITH A WHORE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!” I gasped loudly. “I’M NOT A WHORE YOU’RE JUST A JERK!!!!!” He burst out of the ice and kissed me. “I don’t want a crusty crotch goblin to ruin our relationship” “He won’t I promise” I said blushing Red and patting my tummy. He sighed loudly. “Ok fine we can keep the cum droplet I just don’t wanna pay” I smiled “OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “So……. will you marry me?” I gasped suuuper loud “OF COURSE BAKUGOU!!!!! I LOVE U!!!”

TIMESKIP!!!!!!!! UwU I loveeee this story so far; hope u guys like it too ;3

------------------------------------------------------------

We ended up having 8 babys. I’m the #1 hero (author’s note: Deku is too baby to be a hero 🥺 I think Strong reader-chan is better for that >:3) and Kacchan is my sidekick. Our kids have the strongst quirks in the world!!!1!!! Ray Andy Mei Akira Bobby David & Deku Jr have explosion-Ice quirks, but Maya (author’s note: Maya is my faaavoriteeee UvU) has A SUPER POWERFUL ICE QUIRK (just like her mama)!!!!!! We lived a very happy nice life after that and had a ton of money!!

BONUS SMUT!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehe I wanted to do a lil extra ~spicy~ something as a reward for reading this far >wO

------------------------------------------------------------

Kacchan plugged me up with his thicc Pleasure Pump. I whined “KA-KACCHAN YOU’RE TOO BIG~” He didn’t listen and kept going pounding me into the wall. There was a collar around my neck (author’s note: K!NKYYYYYY~~~~~) and my Face was mushd into the wall. He kept going for quite some time until he hit something in me. I scREAMED “OOOOHHHHHH KACCHAN THAT’S ITtTtTTTTttttTTTT~~~” he grunted and pushed harder. His manhood felt so GOOOOOOD. (author’s note: I kinda want Bakugouwu to @#!% me if u know what i mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) He did it until he Cummed; taking it out so we wouldn’t have more babys.

------------------------------------------------------------

HEHEHEHEHEHHEHHEEEE THAT WAS SO HOT *w*. ANYWAYSSS HERE’S AN AUTHOR-CHAN QnA!!!!!!!

Favorite food: BAKUGOU UwU

Favorite character: BBY DEKU!!!! He’s MINE get away Broke Uraraka >:((((

Favorite color: Anything but pink :/ soooo cringy

Favorite Anime: MY HERO OBV!!!

Ships: Me x my hero boysss 🤤 the girls are all dumb and gay is sin :^/

Next chapter????:

NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deku stared at us jelously. “I-I don’t understand… I…. I really like you Sarah-Chan!!! Why did u have to choose Kacchan 🥺” I looked at him sadly. “He got me pregnent Deku-chan I had toooo” He looked at Bakugou mad. “You took my crush away from me Kacchan…….” Kacchan yelled at him “SHE’S MINE SO BACK OFF BAKA-DEKUUUUU!!!!!!!!” Deku started cryeing and looked at me for help “She was supposed to be MY wife Mean Kacchan :(“ Bakugou laughed. “NO CHANCE LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The next chapter will be coming out sooooon :D I hope you guys liked!!!!! It’s gonna be so good and even a little smutty *o* n e wAys, catch all you lil reader-chan beans l8ter!!!

Last updated: April 1, 2016

[This is 100% a joke and not a real representation of my writing skills. Happy April Fools ;D]

[peachdalooza]

YOUR HEAVY MAKES ME WANT TO CRY! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND WABT HIM TO BE REAL! EVEN WHEN I SMOKE WEED AND GET CRAZY HIGH I STILL FEEL THE DEMONS PRESENCE BUT HE HELPS

Thank u I hope he appears in your sleep to keep you safe as well

[selfshippy]

siince @nougatships asked me abt my yttd f/o on my main,,,,,,, here is a post screaming abt all of my yttd f/os here :3c

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ keiji shinogi: my husband 🥺🥺🥺 he kinda is like. my One (of many) True Love(s) i cannot stop thinking about him . he is very chill and laid back but also a bit teasing and VERY witty,, i wabt him to carry me like GOD... PLEASE.... i know he Can do it he's definitely strong enough to,, i also talk abt him on @keijiswife On Occasion...

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ kai satou: mY OTHER HUSBAND... despite my many yttd f/os, kai is the one i fell in love with first.. i remember when my friend was streaming yttd for me and i saw kai for the first time i LITERALLY was like "👀 oh my..." ,, kai is just. like. Physically And Personality-Wise My Type HSNDHDMCNCK.. we were made for each other,,, (he actually also has an elaborate-ish backstory with my yttd self insert bUT we dont have time to unpack all that it's on her toyhou.se page)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ alice yabusame: man... alice is just. 100% boyfriend material,,, perhaps even Husband material.... hes just so silly to me 🥺 he looks so punky and rugged but hes well-spoken its like ?!?!? Boy how.... also hes 100% def a tsundere and tsundere men are SO FREAKIN CUTE like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i luv alice....

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ naomichi kurumada: i like buff n tuff men. thats it thats the post. okay no for real hes just. SO COOL honestly... just. 🥺 . i want him to pick me up and carry me... also i like how hes all tough but he also funking is a big meanie sometimes... i feEL BAD but i laughed @ him imitating an explosion to scare anzu... so mean!!!! but i still love him 🥺

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tia safalin: MY WIFEYYYYY... i love my saffy 🥺 shes just so cute im like!!! how could one girl be this pretty...... her whole medical motif rly got me like 👀 because i am a cna,,, i am not particularly strong enough to be one but Perhaps i could work with her.... i just want her to funking kiss me shes so prettyyyy wahhhh....

i hope u enjoyed me crying abt my yttd f/os becuase god DAMN i love them

[simplyslytherin]

The deal

Barnaby looked estatic when he arrived to her house the summer before seventh year. Claire had done her hair up in a ribbon to try and look somewhat presentable. She hoped that this was not what she though it was.

Her hope was ripped away when her father said, "this is my daughter, she will make a fine addition to your family."

So it was true all the hints about an arranged marriage where real. Claire wanted to disappear. After the adults were taking about how it would work out for a while. Lilith made a small sound and said, "children why don't you go outside and talk,"

Claire nodded and led Barnaby outside.

As soon as they were out the door Barnaby smiled and said, " I picked you, you know. My parents said as long as I picked a pureblood we could work it out, " he was smiling brilliantly at her, "I've loved you since third year, I'm so happy you excepted the proposal. I'm still shocked. For a while I thought- but it doesn't matter your mine now and I'm yours. Its all I ever wanted."

"Barnaby, I'm not yours," he looked at her confused, "I didn't want this-I've never wanted this. Barnaby your my cousin three generations back! This is wrong and I think I'm in love with someone else. I wish I wasn't a pureblood." She had started crying at some point, she could feel Barnaby pitying her, "I'm sorry for being such a crybaby."

"Don't be, things are kinda falling apart for you right now. Besides you only cry when you think your hurting someone you care about, I like that. It makes you more human instead of the awsome untouchable curse breaker. This other person are you sure your in love with them?" Barnaby asked taking her hands in his.

"No I'm not sure that I'm in love," she felt a blush rise to her cheeks.

"Well, lets make a deal," Barnaby smiled a sly look on his face.

"What kind of deal?"

"It's a simple deal," Barnaby started smiling, "this summer give me a chance. Let me try to get you to love me. If I fail by all means go to this other person and let them know how you feel. However, if they don't feel the same you give me another chance to win you over."

Barnaby was cunning but she doubted he would resort to underhanded methods however, she needed to sure. "Barnaby not that I think you will, but no charms, potions or curses."

Barnaby looked offended, "Of course not! I want this to be real."

"I'll give you a chance," Barnaby gave her a huge smile and she thought for a moment that this could work.

The summer passed quickly as she was spending nearly every day with Barnaby. Her father seemed very pleased about it, once he walked in on them kissing and left without a word. Claire on the other hand wanted to die of embarrassment. Claire although enjoying this arrangement couldn't let herself completely relax into it. She desperately wabted to believe Barnaby when he said that three generations was enough space. However, her mind kept whispering to her "he's your cousin, this is wrong."

It didn't help that her thoughts kept drifting back to Ben whenever Bagshot came. Ben often sent his notes on a new charm he wanted her opinion on or just a letter. Her favorite letter was about the trouble his brother got into when he stole Ben's wand and blasted a hole in the side of the house.

Once while alone with her mother she asked,"mum how do you know you love someone?"

Lilith had smiled and said, "your not in love with Barnaby if that's what your asking dear."

"Mum!"

"Baby, we both know your very keen on that Ben boy," she said while sipping her tea.

"But how do you know?"

"Well discribe Barnaby and Ben to me," Claire made a face, "come on baby just do it,"

"Okay Barnaby isn't exactly what you call smart, but he's really nice. He works harder then most people to keep his grades up and he's incredibly loyal."

"Now Ben," Lilith said with a smile.

"Ben is wonderful," Claire started, "he used to be a coward but he's getting so brave! He always looks out for me. I really like that and he's really really smart! He invents new charms! Just like me and he asks me for my opinion we've been working on a new charm. I can't tell you it's a secret. He snorts when he laughs and he is very funny."

"Baby, you love Ben,"

"Mum-"

"Its okay, listen to me. I'm gonna help you. I will start transferring your thing into your vault. When you move out make sure I can't find you. If I can't he can't. We will get you out of this," her mother smiled and added, "he is very handsome."

Claire blushed thinking to the photo on her desk with all her friends.

At the end of the summer when she was reading a new book on charms Barnaby asked the question, "Claire did I do it?"

"Do what Barnaby?" She asked not looking up from the book.

"You- do you love me?"

"No. I'm sorry," she told him lowering the book.

"Hey its okay, don't cry," he said, "I'm not mad or really hurt. I expected this. Just remember I get a second chance."

"I'm not crying," she answered honestly.

"Oh I'm sorry I just thought," he said.

"We agreed to this. You knew the deal."

"I know I just hoped," he trailed off.

"I do care about you. However, your fine. I haven't hurt you," yet her mind supplied, "you still have a chance. If Ben rejectes me we will try again as agreed."

"Really Ben?"

Claire felt herself blush, "is there something wrong with that?"

"I just thought it be Charlie or Bill, they both seem fond of you."

"No Bill is basically my big brother and Charlie interested in dragons."

"Okay but Ben?"

"He's my best friend and he's always been there for me."

"Well he's a lucky guy, to have you care about him."

"I suppose he is."

[daily-best-jokes]

A man comes home to his wife from his job at a relish factory one day...

He has a confused, lost look on his face, so his wife asks what's wrong.

The man turns to her and says, "I've been having the strangest urge at work lately."

His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks "What is it."

The man sighs and says, "I keep wanting to put my dick in the pickle slicer."

The woman stifles a laugh tells her husband not to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

A few weeks go by, and the man only wabts to put his penis in the pickle slicer more and more, so he goes to his manager, to ask for help, and the manager refers him to an occupational therapist and gives him some time off. Nothing helps though, the therapist refers him to a real psychologist, hoping that maybe they can cure this man's affliction.

So one day the man comes home to his wife and says with a sigh, "Honey, I got fired today. I put my penis in the pickle slicer."

She gasps, crying out "oh my god! You have to go to the hospital!"

The man looks up at her, "Oh no, I'm perfectly fine. I feel great, actually."

His wife is now completely bewildered, "But, bu--your peni- and the pickle slicer!?"

The man shrugs, "Yeah, she got fired, too."

submitted by /u/ikondubai [link] [comments]

[hcbgoblin]

ok i wanted to watch the full day4 of mma but its only being uploaded at 4am for me and i caved in and watched the lq bts performance and i just

why   do you enjoy making me C RY 

so stream of crying consciousness first impression...... stuff 

a black swan intro A BLACK SWAN INTRO i mean i kinda wanted them to perform the whole song too but hey

it was way too fucking beautiful to be REAL i am LIVING i love love LOVE how much they leaned into classical and contemporary for black swan its more than i ever expected and i just cry every night into my pillow- 

first off i love tae and hoseok as a pairing it doesnt happen often and of the dances black swan could parallel i did not think dna would be one of them but it fucking works and it looks breathtaking 

the HEIGHT of taehyungs jump

swan namjin is just majestic and their postures were rly good, jins port de bras was a+; they over prepared a little for the pirouette but it somehow looks rly cute im whippedajfldkf

ok so. OK. oh   . jungkook,   jimin,    oh wow. oh WOW. jikook has had a lot of dance duos over the years and not to be dramatic but it was all leading up to this MOMENT ksdjn. no but ok the water dance was gorgeous and how delicate and yet midly terrifying they manage to look when theyre being carried (amazing sound direction too ) by the backup dancers is so entrancing, and when they finally come together to dance their FREAKING PAS DE DEUX. (bts danced a straight up pas de deux i cant get over it they really did THAT im losing it) anyway when they dance together you can see it even better!!

that bullet was getting too long so, ok, pas de deux is usually danced by a man and a woman (its more common for this to switch it up in contemporary, but still) , and even though it takes a lot (like a fucking lot) of strenght to maintain the various poses and steps while youre being lifted(usually women), in ballet  its a Thing to not let it show and appear as delicate and effortless as possible. so a lot of people who dont dance get the impression that whoever is lifting is doing the most work, but! thats not true, aND. jimin somehow manages to portray all that strenght while still being tear inducingly delicate. the sequence is sharp, delicated, jagged and desperate and jikook are PERFECT for it, bc their individual dance styles have always been so good at balancing sharp/delicate and intense. 

jimins extensions are, as usual, absolutely thight and in full display. their position for the lift turn was perfect. it was so gorgeous

the final swan pose was so so so so beautiful i loved that formation. bts rly has some of the best designed (like, idk how to say this in english, but literally ‘desenhada’ ‘drawn’) transitions formations and poses. their choreographies are so teatrical, every stop is a painting and i love it. jin just delivers the final blow w the final arms and releasing the bird... mercy

speaking of which the stage design here.................. exquisite

and last but suddenly not least, the backup dancers did the MOST, mad mad props. that bridge drop before jimin first appears might genuinely war with ot7s dancing for most beautiful part of the intro

so. like.      i really love black swan idk if it is noticeable. 

THE STAIRS FOR ON THE NO STAIRS AAAA AND THE N;O  STAIRS AND POSES AND INSTRUMENTALSSSSS 

their STYLING. insane.

ON you beautiful bitch i missed you . you deserved to have been so BIG UGHSJDFN

is it just me or does on feel simultaneously shorter and more INTENSE 

the purple mappp :((( and armys making up bts photo oh my GOD:((( ;;o;;

since its very unlikely they would have released anything outside of mots7 this year were it not for covid, their final performances would probably be n.o, black swan and on, maybe with wabte. im kinda sad now 

but now for long, quarantine savior life goes on is here 🥺🥺🥺

life goes on is so good live its ... ugh 

how SOFT their faces went in yoongis verso tho

its a bangtanarmy world

they did the PAH

dynamite quarantine bop lets go

uhHHHhhHh hoseok?? this VELVET FIT. JHSRKDKJS 

taejoons talk the talk that was SO CUTE. ILLEGAL

they look so happy and energetic i love to see it

dynamite has such a fun choreo. its their simplest one since.... just one day, probably, but they make it SO engaging 

also the way their suits change color is MAGICAL

jin air kisses into the dance break? yEs

THIS DANCE BREAK. ITS PURE DISCO OH MY GOD OH My GoD DISCO QUEEN DYNAMITE!!! U DID THAT . the vibez are absolutely exquisite , dare i say........ GROOVY

super fast footwork and their delivery is so suave and cool holy shit im hypnotized ; that little HEAD BOP on the suspended kick - . like this dance is brimming with personality i love it so much 

hoseoks subtle roboting just adds that Something to it , 

his style is so interesting to me bc like, usually street styles use a lower posture, heavier/sharper finishes, and are visually bolder styles of dancing, highlighting the impact of the steps (i wish i could explain what i mean better but im not super familiar with street styles ughfgfd ) . as opposed to contemporary/jazz/ballet etc but hoseoks style is like a hybrid lately, its very light, almost like hes floating across the stage (voguings a street style that has that lighter higher disposition, but hoseok doesnt rly vogue afaik.... someone once noted, that, interestingly, thats also the core logic of classical dancing and that creates such an interesting contrast in a way that is different but parallel to the way jimin also likes to create that type of contrast in his dancing?? ugh yes.) 

 and anyway, he manages to be so fluid and light and still so sharp and this choreography highlights that soooo well. his footwork and his extensions when hes leading the dance line- chefs kiss . also that hat and that suit   . thank you bh

their linesssssss cries

jimins high kick tumble cries the 70s just kicked me in the face + the synced jump the others do just as he kicks a+++++

they are so synchronized . like they usually are, but it looks even more satisfying here

this dance break..... i didnt think dynamite would do this for us, but its among my favorites 

taehyung is made for This

2seoks suits are driving me feral

was just talking to a friend today abt how i thought back in 2016 that no one could top that mama performance, not even bts themselves......... ha . hahahah ha. 

bangtan. never. disapoints. 

[btstrashxoxox]

Fake love summary

So of course im not gonna leave u guys hanging with wat wudve happened in the story and so heres wat i was planningg

So wat i had planned for the story is basically

You wud be rlly upset with jimins confession but u love jimin so u don't want to say anything and of course, sun asks u about what happened and u don't tell her anything Ur obviously hella sad so u sort of distance urself and dont go out much abymore or talk to sun as often During that time u get a call from ur boss telling u that hes extending his company to another far away place and hes wondering if ull join him and if u like it there u cud continue wrkig there (promotion and shit). And of course the idea is exciting cuz promotion but leaving the country is a huge deal and so ur not sure cuz its a big decision and leaving ur whole life behind is a big deal And so u ask for some time and ur boss was like of course sweetie After about a week of sadness sun comes over and is like ok wtf is wrong And u dont want to tell her of course But suns nothing if not persistent and so u finally tell her that jimin loves someone else (u dont say its sun) And then sun is like oh no im srry and u hav bonding time And then the next day sun goes to jimin and they talk and jimin tells her he loves her and its like shiet and then sun tells him she loves him too but not like that and tells him he shud be with u that u love him and ud make each other happy And jimins rlly upset and gets drunk and hes mad and sad And he goes to ur place at night hella drunk and yells at u and is like its all ur fault sun doesnt want to be with him why do u love him and all the crap and ur crying and sad and pissed and u force him out and cry and just cant deal And so after like 2 days u decide ud accept ur boss’ offer to like get a fresh start hoping itd help u get over jimin and shit And so of course crying with sun and family  And so u go to the place and ur there for a while and it def helps u calm down and ur in a better place like happier, tho u still sort of love him but its def not that bad and ur at a place where ull gradually get over it And in meantime suns and jungkooks relationship is like boommm yeaaaa 😂 And jimins and suns relationship was bad at first cuz obviosuly shes hella pissed at him for wat he did to u and hes rlly apologetic towards u and he regrets it and wished he was able to say srry to u before u left Anywaysss soooo Time has passed and ur time at the other place is done and ur boss givs u like 5 months time to think about whether u want to stay there permanently or not Abd so u go bak home and surprise sun and u guys are hella happy and ur staying at her place Sun goes to shower and doorbell rings and ur like crep and go open the door and jimins there and ur like …. pissed dbt really want to talk to him for the shit he said last time u saw him Abd hes shocked cuz its been a while and hes like i hav to apologize, but u dnt wabt to talk to him so u move away and call out to sun saying ur friends here and go to a room and jimins like sad and srry Abd abyways so ur mad hes sad Jimin had come over cuz his familys veen bothering him about a girlfriend and he tld them he has one and so he needs somwone to pretend Byt suns like wtf no i hav jungkook Abd abyway basically wat happens is that u and jimin somehow makeup (he apologizes for days till u forgive him) and then he asks u to do it and u dnt want to at first cuz scared its gonna make u catch feelings again since ur not fully over him, but u finally agree And basically the storyline wudve continued with u pretending to be his girlfriend and ur with his family and Jimin gradually falls in love with u and u decide to stay home and yea his fake love turns into real love for u (sappy yes ik) and yupp

I had like a bunch of little scenes in between i had thought of thats full of angst and fluff but i jist want u guys to get the basics of how the story wudve gone

IM SRRY FOR NOT FULLY WRITING IT but im rlly not confident with my writing and i dbt hav to confidence or inspiration uk

Thank u for readingg love u guyss ❤