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#i waited to post this ^_^ i love metaphors
agentstarkid · 3 days
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NEPENTHE ✦ DR3
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NEPENTHE, a term rooted in Greek mythology, refers to a legendary potion believed to dispel sorrow and induce forgetfulness of pain. This concept has evolved to symbolize anything that eases suffering and promotes emotional healing. When applied to love and post-heartbreak, nepenthe can be seen as a metaphor for the various ways people cope with the pain of lost love. This could include time, new relationships, self-discovery, or therapeutic activities that help one heal. Just as nepenthe provided mythical relief, these modern "potions" help individuals gradually let go of their heartache and find happiness again.
✦ pairing: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader
✦ type: social media au
✦ fc: becky g
✦ warnings: female!reader, latina!reader, age gap, language, drama, internet meanies.
✦ pit wall live: holi, loves! sorry for the long wait, adult life is a bitch. Hope y'all like this chapter because I'm not fully convinced I like it yet lol if there's any mistake...it's 02:21 a.m. and I'm dead on my feet but I was set on posting this today. If you've been playing attention to my easter eggs, you'd have seen this coming 😜 Pretty please tell me your thoughts!! I’ve been stewing on this for like two months so I beg of you to reply/reblog/send me an ask (anon or not!!) telling me what you thought!! Feeds me!! Also, shoutout to Nonnie!!! can't wait to read what you think of this 🙊❤️ Anyways, eat up, babes.
─── The Joker & The Queen (Masterlist)
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JULY 1, 2022
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⇥ tiktok search: y/n l/n sings devuélveme el corazón
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JULY 15, 2022
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⥂ translation:
- Hey, friend! How are you? + Kuniii! What a surprise! I'm good, and you? What have you been up to? - Everything is fine here in Miami, enjoying a little bit of the sun. Listen, we haven't seen each other in a while. Aug 7 is City's first game of the season at the Etihad and I was invited. With Sofi we thought about taking you with us, so are you in? + Sounds great, Kuni! I've never been to the Etihad. But I don't know. Lately, things hasn't been going well for me with all the negative attention. I'm not sure if being in the public eye would be for the best. - I get it, Y/N. But c'mon, you should come! We'll be in a private box, far away from the paparazzis. No one is gonna bother you there, I promise. Besides, Sofi and I are gonna make you have a great time! + I don't know, Kun. To be honest, more drama is the last thing I want. - That's why I'm telling you this. It will be good for you to have a change of scenery, enjoy a good game and be with friends! And, we miss you. Sofi is already planning a great day for you. You can't let people's opinions to affect you like that. You have to live your life and enjoy it. Come with us, it will do you good. + To be fair, I do need a break. I'm gonna think about it and I'll give you my answer soon! - There's nothing to think about, Y/N! Come with us and let's have a spectacular weekend. Sofi and I are gonna take care of you and make sure you have a great time! + Ok ok, alright. I'm going! It's gonna be great seeing you and Sofi again. What should I bring? - Awesome! Just bring good vibes, a crazy desire to have a good time and something blue to support City. You come to Miami and and we leave in the jet, is that alright? We will coordinate better later. + Oki! I'm already excited! Thank you, Kuni. I really needed this! - That's what friends are for! I promise you that it will be very good for you! See you soon! + See you soon! Thank you for everything!
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JULY 29, 2022
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liked by lewishamilton, daddyyankee, thalia and 2,145,873 others
yourinstagram que digan lo que sea, yo subo y bajo como la marea 🌊✨🧿
⥂ translation: let them say whatever, I rise and fall like the tide 🌊✨🧿
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fioamato Se tratan de montar y tambalean 🎶🐸☕
itsvittoriasousa Muchos la critican sin conocerla 💅🏼 iamdannaschwarz Se merece tanto y recibe tan poco 😤 andrew_allen Calle como un Civic, inteligente como un Tesla 🚗 sebastianyatra Mírala cómo camina, lo que le falta es la tarima 👀 yourinstagram No pidas rosas si no aguantas espinas!! 🥀
sebastianyatra q hdptaaa fiesta con la familyyyy 🫠🩵
llane ah con que así son las cosas, acá ya a uno no lo invitan 🙄 (⥂ translation: ah so that's how it is, here's someone who doesn't get invited)
rickymontaner brother somos dos 🙄 (⥂ translation: brother same) sebastianyatra conozco unos manes que no contestan el gc 🙄 (⥂ translation: i know some guys who don't answer the gc) ricardomontaner mau y ricky + llane + sebas + y/n = peligro por donde lo mires 😂❤️ (⥂ translation: danger wherever you look at it) yourinstagram ricardomontaner pero like in the best way, tío 😝❤️
user i absolutely love how her friends are singing the lyrics of bad bunny's song in the comments 😂
userA user even Vitto's bf commented too 😂 userB user they are really specific lyrics tho 🙊
user2 Daniel can't really outrun her, can he? 😂
soficalzetti divina! te extraño 💕
user3 is that HamilGOAT???
badbunnypr Y/N, sé tú y que se mame' un bicho las personas ❤️
yourinstagram ❤️🤘🏽
user4 Andrea is honestly my fav BB song 😭
user5 not me trying to zoom in to read those 🔥 lyrics bc ya know my girl is cooking the baddest album in history 😎
user7 I tried to like this twice once I saw that first photo DAMN 😮
user8 first pic is giving mermaid baddie/H2O vibes
user9 my boy DR fumbled hard 😵‍💫 wdym he just woke up one day next to this woman and decided he wanted smth else??? like ??? bro u ok????? 🤯
lewishamilton surfing ✅📋 next time we are sky diving sis 🪂
yourintagram time and place I'll be there brother 😛 roscoelovescoco can you's take me's with you's?
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AUGUST 7, 2022
Instagram
yourinstagram has added to their story!
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⥂ translation 1: Going to a game with Kun is having a sports commentator explaining every play and probability, and who is who on the field.
⥂ translation 2: The boy is happy with the result of the match.
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yourinstagram has followed rubendias!
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AUGUST 18, 2022
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liked by honeymoon, danielricciardo, rubendias and 3,145,873 others
yourinstagram Happi happi ⭐️ note to self: you da bidi bidi bom bom ✨
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user DANIEL LIKED!!!!!! MY DAN-YN HEART ❤️😭
userA Mom and Dad; Divorced but never forgotten 😭🖐 userB girl don't, he's not welcome here 😤 userC does this means he agrees she was too much of a bad bitch for his weak ass to handle? 🤣
user2 stay 🤺 the fuck 🤺 away 🤺 you 🤺 unemployed driver 🤺
userA unemployed driver is cold. it's not even official yet buddy userB lmao her replacement better not see his like on our queen's photos 😂 userC homie must be hiding somewhere and crying staring at these photos because she looks 🔥🔥🔥
user3 Literally the love of my life. She's so cute and energetic
user4 you deserve real happiness and loyalty...Don't you ever settle!
juliamichaels hot DAMN
camila_cabello hot DIGGITY DAMN
user5 I'm so glad Daniel dumped her 🗿
beberexha ok hottie!! ❤️🔥
lizzo Everyone STOP TALKING I'm trying to stare at Y/N
blakelively Absolutely fking stunning wowowow
yourinstagram let me hit u with the uno reverse card
user6 this may sound cheesy but you're literally one of the prettiest women I've ever seen 💕
yourinstagram user5 that's so unbelievably kind
sza FACE CARD NEVER DECLINES
user7 i'm single you single... let's make it happen 😍
iamdannaschwarz we live for that smile
user8 such an attention seeker 🤡 because she ain't getting that man back in this life lol
user she is so obsessed with him i swear she's pathetic yourinstagram I don't really care what you think of me because first of all, if you really don't like me, what are you guys doing wasting your time on my page? tell me who's obsessed with who?
user9 Why not? 😭
userA i think when mfs bag a baddie they dont kno how to act right 😭 im not sure sum like that userB userA correct and when they do get a girl like that they leave her for way less userC Lmaoooo frr
user queen is in her idgaf era and I'm fucking here for it!!!
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AUGUST 22, 2022
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yourinstagram has added to their story!
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rubendias has added to their story!
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AUGUST 24, 2022
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liked by fioamato and 1,147,693 others
f1 BREAKING: Daniel Ricciardo will leave McLaren at the end of the 2022 season
#F1 #Formula1 mclaren
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user See you later 👏👏
user2 that's called karma
user3 Only McLaren? Why not f1? The queu of young talented drivers is long
user4 So sad that they decided only bet to Lando. All best to Daniel I wish you find better place.
user5 I’m glad I never bought an orange shirt… where are we off to next Dan?
user6 LMAO NOT FIO LIKING THIS POST 🤣
userA that's iconic behavior ngl
user7 and you all were calling y/n a flop, oh how the tables have turned lmaooooo
user8 man lost the greatest woman he could've pulled and now he lost his seat and all in the same year 🤡
user9 mclaren you know this is the best guy you have right? It's not his fault your car is inconsistent. This is not 2021 where you had your car figured out.....this is a bad pr piece for you as well as a bad marketing look since danielricciardo has a look far beyond what your brand reach is. Fire your marketing team as they have failed you...
user10 $21 million going away present?
user11 Honestly Vettel said it best “mclaren didn’t bring the best out of him” I just hope he gets a place in 2023 and does well
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SEPTEMBER 11, 2022
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rubendias has added to their story!
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SEPTEMBER 21, 2022
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OCTOBER 6, 2022
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⥂ translation:
— salmahayek Happy birthday, my precious girl! You are a light in the lives of everyone who knows you. I'm here for you always! — jbalvin Happy birthday, lil sis. Many blessings to you always! — sebastianyatra Happy birthday, Penguin! I keep your friendship like a treasure that will always be with me. I feel lucky to know that big heart you have. I love you a lot, Pulga (Flea)!
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liked by rubendias, aliciakeys, alejandrosanz and 2,756,378 others
yourinstagram Thank you 23, you taught me so much. You brought me so much courage, inspiration, & healing. You reminded me that life is too short. You have brought me even closer to my true self & made me realize just how strong I am. I will remember you as the year that reminded me that living life on anyone else’s terms isn’t living… You taught me to do ME, with grace, love, and kindness. Thank you to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday, I love you all. And, of course, a very special thank you to my favorite people in the 🌍 for going above and beyond to make me feel so loved, appreciated, & cared for. Bienvenido 24, un placer conocerte 🥳 ps: had lots of cakes this year, I couldn't be happier!! 😍
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natalie_pinkham Happiest of birthdays to the most gorgeous of gals ❤️🥳🥂🎉
yourinstagram natalie_pinkham thank you Nat! Lots of love ❤️❤️
nina ❤️❤️❤️
parishilton happy birthday angel girl ❤️
bohnes happy birthday rockstar 🎉
markhoppus HDB kid 💥
annemarie Make a wish! 🎂✨ Hope all your birthday dreams come true ❤️
lilymhe You are such a beautiful soul, inside and out, and I’m so grateful to have you in my life ❤️
luisfonsi Wishing you an amazing day and a year full of blessings. ¡Un fuerte abrazo!
keleighteller You bring so much joy and light into the lives of everyone around you ✨
anitta feliz aniversário, meu amor! Beijos! 💖
shawnmendes Hope your day is as incredible as you are ❤️ Keep shining! 🌟
daddyyankee ¡Feliz cumpleaños, Y/N! Espero que tengas un día espectacular y un año lleno de éxitos
jenniferaniston Wishing you a day filled with joy, love, and all your favorite things. Have an amazing year ahead! 💖✨
tomholland2013 Happy Birthday, Y/N! 🎉🎂
sofiavergara ¡Feliz cumpleaños, Y/N! Que tengas un día maravilloso lleno de amor y alegría 💃🏻✨
zacefron Have a fantastic day and an even better year. Enjoy every moment! 💫
niallhoran happy birthday 🍻
selenagomez Happy Birthday angel! 🎉 Sending you lots of love and positive vibes on your special day ❤️
kellinquinn Happy Birthday, Y/N! Rock on and have an amazing day!
kellyclarkson May your day be filled with love, laughter, and everything you desire. Cheers to you! 💖✨
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NOVEMBER 3, 2022
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liked by rubendias, landonorris, juliaanalvarez and 2,145,873 others
yourinstagram He(art)
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sasha__rebecca 💙
itsvittoriasousa i like it, picasso
chloestroll what a gorgeous piece of art and the picasso is cute ig
user NOOOOOO WE CANT LOSE OUR MOTHER TO ANOTHER FOOTBALLER
juliaanalvarez 😎🆒
user2 I admire Y/N’s faith in love, no matter how many times she’s heartbroken and let down she still falls in love like it’s the very first time and I think this is how it should be because every single love and relationship is different and unique and should be approached as such
user agree. especially because she's not actually the crazy, guy obsessed girl the media and haters paint her as. she's falling in love when it makes sense, she's not out searching for whirlwind romances and toxic guys. she writes about it bc it's REAL anyway i hope she finds her person one day. first loves lasting forever is nice but isn't possible for most people and that's fine. i think her healthy approach is a great influence on her younger fans who fantasise about love and life just like she did
user3 girlie sure loves her athletes lmao
userA she sure loves the number 3 🤪 userB she once said it was her lucky number and apparently she was really serious about that 🤣
user4 alexa play you belong with me (taylor's version) by taylor swift 😠
user5 watch her ruin him like she ruined daniel
user6 this girl is trying so hard to stay relevant lmao bitch you are a gold digging whore and a massive flop, doesn't matter whose dick you're riding now 🤣
user7 when do we think they're hard launching we already know it's rúben 😂
userA she played the same game with mr. perfectly fine the last time userB MR PERFECTLY FINE OMG YOU'RE SO RIGHT "Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl. I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her" IS SO DANIEL CODED userC ruben literally posted the same picture on his ig 😂 inconspicuousness left the chat with these two
user8 babygirl decided to stop playing in little league, she's on the big leagues now as she fucking should
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liked by johnstones5, joaofelix79, nathanake and 322,873 others
rubendias life's been good lately 😊
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user who got my boy listening to sleeping at last?
user2 Bro is winning on and off pitch
user3 i still can't believe rúben dias liked every picture she posted for years and also admitted his massive crush for her with his whole chest in a team video and ended up being y/n l/n's boyfriend a few months later
userA bro is the picture of perseverance. He played the long game and at the end, he got the girl 😎 userB he's my GOAT for a reason userC they don't make 'em like him anymore (a total simp for his girl)
jackgrealish alright romeo 🙄😂🩵
johnstones5 kunaguero 🤝🏻
kunaguero johnstones5 🤝🏻
user4 best defender in the world only deserves the best! 🧱
nathanake 🩵
user5 they are not even trying to hide it anymore
user6 Ru we are on the doorstep of the world cup you can't lose your focus with another pop star
userA she's definitely gonna bring him bad luck, everything she touches turns to ashes
user7 "But your heart is your masterpiece, and I'll keep it safe" THIS MOTHERFUCKER BETTER BE SERIOUS 😭
user "Your darkness will be rewritten into a work of fiction, you'll see" 😭😭 userA I'm really wishing that he's the one for her. She deserves a happy ending
user8 YOU WERE BLESSED WITH MOTHER'S HEART SO YOU BETTER PROTECT IT THROUGH THICK AND THIN, VOCÊ ENTENDE? 🤨🤺
♥ rubendias has liked this comment
user9 Mofo better keep his focus we need that 🏆!!!!
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DECEMBER 31, 2022
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liked by rubendias, natalie_pinkham, shawnmendes and 2,145,873 others
yourinstagram A student of life I am. Damn it’s humbling as hell when you surrender to the fact that only thing you can control is YOURSELF. Not a person, thing or situation beyond that. Who you become in this life is 100% on you. Letting go of all that doesn’t serve you is self-care. Remember that.
2022 is a year that really marked me… It was filled with moments of all kinds. Wanted to share the ones that made me smile even in the hardest of times. Beyond thankful for the good, the bad and the ugly ❤️‍🩹
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marcusstoinis was the paint supposed to go on the wall or on yourself? 😂 scottyjames31
scottyjames31 don't talk if you don't know about art bro 🤫👨🏼‍🎨 yourinstagram marcusstoinis the technique was questionable but the painter did a good job. His partner on the other hand did a marvelous job ❤️ would recommend their job if you are moving into a new house too 👍🏽 cholestroll 😂❤️
lewishamilton see you soon for the next aventure sis 😎🪂
tinistoessel te adoro muñeca 💖
andrew_allen we might have the next Alex Morgan in our hands 😮‍💨
itsvittoriasousa she said she wants to be a champ like "unca benny" 😅 yourinstagram itsvittoriasousa nah I think she said she /wants/ unca benny, little trouble gave me the stink eye whenever I got too close and didn't let me play 😂 andrew_allen 😅
user i guess it is official official now so welcome to the family dad rubendias
user2 pics 5, 6 & 9 called me single in too many different languages 😭
user3 IZA IS GETTING SO BIG!!!!
user4 sunglasses on, hand behing her back... baby iza means business
user5 OMG IT'S ED!!! ARE U GUYS COLLABING AGAIN???!!! 😭😍
user6 I really hope next year she is as active on sm as she was before, I miss her too much 🥺
user7 shut up they are the fucking cutest couple already 😍
user8 this is what she deserves!! looots of love and someone who knows how to treat a queen right
rubendias Mô ❤️
userA EEEEEEEEEEKKK!!! 😍😭😍😭 userB any portuguese or brazilian kind enough to tell us what he means? 😩 userC It's an informal abbreviation of "amor" (love), he is calling her love ❤️
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─── Please don't forget to reblog and/or comment! ♡
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linkedin-offficial · 4 months
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🫀 id give you my entire heart, valentine!
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Garak is So much right from his first episode. Laura Palmer of Cardassia over here trying to get laid, foil a terrorist plot, AND work a retail shift, all while high as fuck. Dude’s schedule in Past Prologue is FULL.
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knowlesian · 1 year
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cannibalism has that good “i cracked into your marrow so i could keep you forever in mine” gay energy and tbqh i love that for us
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itsjaywalkers · 8 months
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it is my pleasure to inform you that the iwtywmm sequel is officially finished <3 i mean kinda i still have to reread + edit it but !!! the worst is over
anyways to celebrate u can send me a word and i'll give u a lil snippy that contains it or ask me any questions about jeggy/any other characters ur curious about or even just tell me about ur days really <333
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arsenicflame · 7 months
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if they wouldnt make out over the bloody corspe of someone they just killed whats even the point
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nogenderonlychair · 1 month
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The word grotesque is to beautiful.
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fadingluminaryruins · 2 years
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Somehow, I find this tear off inchident so poetic and revealing of how much these two almost always gravitate together. Even in such chaotic moments.
I find it touching, how Max worried about being guilty, while the real culprit didn't worry at all.
They are like fucking magnets. They attract each other in all circumstances as well as they can reject each other. I had a hundred poems for this two which work perfectly, to describe them.
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steakout-05 · 3 months
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eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P
additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly
#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it#and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website#as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered#also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it#this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious#i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles#it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point#be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying#and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo#if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like#trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you#social anxiety#anxiety disorder#i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me#anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y
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MACCC!! for the fanfic ask game thing. ummm i don't know a specific word 2 send but i am intrigued. eyes emoji. (<<on computer and do not want 2 look up emojis just to copy/paste one) what r u writing!!! what's ur fav passage in it so far!!!! i wanna hear abt ur writing!!!!
omg whiskey i forgot we were not mutuals while i was in my fanfic writing arc. omg. i have not written a fic since we became mutuals holy shit !!!!!! absolutelyly insane . ANYWAY i write about my ocs all the time and also silly little self indulgent stories that i dont share bc theyre just for me. BUT. CURRENLTY. i missed writing fics so i am in a months long hiatus of a fic for mission to zyxx which is a silly improv comedy podcast that i was super into right before i got into trigun !!!!!!!! its my beloved ever. however the trigun brain worms overtook me before i finished my fic and i have not gone back to work on it much :( i WANT to finish it tho bc the fandom is very small annnd i literally read every single fic in the ao3 tag in the span of like a week. i need 2 add to it.
ANYWAY basics of the fic (spoilers for mission to zyxx incoming !!) :
the main character has a bug egg laid in his eye and throughout all of season 2 it just grows in his eye and makes it look all fucked up until the s2 finale where the egg hatches and another character pulls his eye out before the bug makes his head explode. << its not as fucked up as it sounds bc this is a full comedy podcast so everything is played for goofs and this moment only lasts a total of like 6 seconds but i am a sucker for body horror especially when it involves gross bugs so !!! i am judt rewriting that scene with my own headcanons ans making it scary and emotional 😌 hi my names mac ghostiezone and i love horror and gay people.
I HAVE TO REREAD MY ENTIRE WIP TO FIND A PART TO POST i cant believe ur making me do this (<< THANK U I HAVE NOT LOOKED AT IT IN WEEKS) apologies in advance for my setup i like 2 write on my phone in the middle of the night so my google docs is in perma-darkmode:
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<< we love an alien mind contrrol parasite that makes a usually cowardly docile character behave like a monster 😌😌😌😌
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strwbrymlkshake · 1 year
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been getting a lot more into Killing lately
#mine#vent post again hello. for the love of god#🎸#anyways um uhh uhhah uhagh i feel like violence is more apparent in my life#though it could def be due to the violent outburst i had the other day. just the aftermath of it ig#i have been feeling depressed and like i cant control my own life bc things are being withheld from me#hrgngh :( as usual. nothing is changing. i have to wait like this for a long ass time before it does.#oh right the point of this post: i keep feeling like my bf is mad at me even though there is literally nothing to signify that#he did not even say he was mad at me so why is my anxiety thru the roof HUH. well probably trauma#he said he would love me no matter what! but im still so worrieedddd :< i guess it wasnt a big thing to be mad about anyways so#i dont understand why he WOULD be mad about it. so unless he says he is mad/upset then he ISNT but my brain does not get this#there is NO reason for me not to trust him#also i have moved on from the 'why doesnt he message me first in the morning' fiasco which is good. i dont have an explanation as to why#i just am not mad about it anymore idk lol. well besides that my brain is feeling illogical things that i can recognize are illogical#but they still impact me :< its not fair at all... i could hypothetically construct reasoning why hes mad at me rn but im only hurting#myself this way. me moment. it was relatively innocent its not something to be MAD about he said hed love me for all my mistakes#so even if it was a problem he wouldnt stop loving me!!! do you understand brain? goodness...#HES LIKE. he is my beloved forever and i want to be holding him or touching him always. going to punch a wall idk#i just love him so much i dont want to mess up ever!!!!! god damn!! we are both depressed / have mental problems so we are doing our best#metaphorically smoking a joint with him rn i miss him. drugs are bad btw i would never do a weed. only in the metaphorical sense#i want us both to be less miserable so together we can be happy!! but why am i keeping him from doing things he likes...#but i want him to be happy?! but i want to spend time with him :( im gonna cry. WHAT AM I MAKING MYSELF UPSET FOR#he didnt even say he was mad at me i am just spinning this way out of proportion! ok!? he loves me forever#but yea i feel like my social filter for violence related things dissipated entirely. so i have been openly talking abt killing people#which is not good i am not going to do any of these things. my brain is too fond of them
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years
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Okay I think I'm mature enough to admit. That I am getting withdrawal from the owl show. And that I miss her so bad it's not even funny anymore
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crescentmp3 · 1 year
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oh i wrote a poem today
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youreverydayfangirl · 26 days
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afterglow
pairing: charles leclerc x australian! reader
summary: y/n made a rash decision, or in which charles fights for his girl
warning: age gap relationship, hate, teeniest angst to fluff
a/n: pt 3 guyss
find pt 1 here and pt 2 here!!!
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yourusername has posted
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liked by charlesleclerc, francisca.cgomes and 8, 987, 374 others
yourusername WONDERLAND TOUR is officially a wrap guysss
francisca.cgomes my bestie is so talented and gorgeous
→ yourusername francisca.cgomes STOP I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
→ yourusername I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN
→ user1 your honor i love them
charlesleclerc so proud of you
→ yourusername thank you charles
→ user2 PARENTS
oliviarodrigo NEW MUSIC WHEN
→ yourusername oliviarodrigo SSHH
→ user2 WHAT DO YOU KNOW
user2 and people said she was a gold digger when she already has MILLIONS
user3 i miss her and charles so much
user4 charles in the likes i see 👀
user5 he still wants her so bad omg
user5 and people said she was the obsessed one
user6 CHARLES COMMENT OMG
user7 no cause she started single, they started dating, got engaged and broke up all during this tour
→ user8 STOPPP
yourusername has posted
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liked by charlesleclerc, francisca.cgomes and 6, 798 365 others
yourusername girls trip w my fav w @ francisca.cgomes
tagged: francisca.cgomes
francisca.cgomes tea was spily not only metaphorically but literally
→ yourusername francisca.cgomes STOPPP YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT TELL
→ francisca.cgomes i lied
→ yourusername traitor
→ francisca.cgomes hehe
→ user1 you should pay for her therapy francisca.cgomes
liked by creator
→ user2 girl what tea 👀☕
→ francisca.cgomes steaming hot tea
→ yourusername francisca.cgomes SHUT UP
charlesleclerc gorgeous
→ user3 get me a man that pines for me the way charles does for y/n
→ user4 word its been months
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yourusername has posted
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liked by charlesleclerc, pierregasly and 9, 287, 637 others
yourusername life recently
tagged: francisca.gomes, lilymhe, oliviarodrigo
francisca.cgomes shoulde put the photo in where you stacked it
→ yourusername francisca.cgomes wow i see how it is
lilymhe i missed you on the grid
→ yourusername ME TOOO
oliviarodrigo hehehe im excited
→ yourusername same omg
→ user1 WHAT IS IT TELL MEEEE
charlesleclerc the most beautiful girl ever
pierregasly i heard that charlesleclerc saved 55 orphans from a burning building
landonorris charlesleclerc bought everyone on the grid a free round
carlossainz55 charlesleclerc let me drive his new car.
maxverstappen1 charlesleclerc saved my cat from a tree the other day
lewishamilton charlesleclerc babysits roscoe all the time for me
oscarpiastri charlesleclerc payed for my tuition. thanks dad.
loganseargant charlesleclerc saved me from a cricket
alexalbon charlesleclerc saved my dog the other day. hes a good man savannah.
georgerussell ohhhhh
→ carmenmmundt 🤦‍♀️
georgerussell charlesleclerc bought me a new ferrari
user2 what is going on in the house of commons
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yourusername has posted two stories
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caption 1 a bit heavy
caption 2 feeling pretty spoilt
liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris and 654, 786 others
landonorris maybe he does have game
pierregasly that works aswell ig
charlesleclerc mon amor
yourusername i love you so much you don't even understand
charlesleclerc no one will ever even begin to understand how much i love you
charlesleclerc i need you more than oxygen
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yourusername has posted one story
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caption 1: if you know you know
liked by charlesleclerc, francisca.cgomes and 567, 897 others
charlesleclerc i can't wait to see you today
yourusername me to my love
francisca.cgomes your stunning omfg
yourusername STOPP ITT
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yourusername has posted
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liked by charlesleclerc, francisca.cgomes and 15, 678, 892 others
yourusername i heard he saved 55 orphans from a burning building
tagged: charlesleclerc
pierregasly charlesleclerc i told you it would work
→ charlesleclerc it didnt
→ pierregasly sure it didn't
charlesleclerc my eternal sunshine
→ yourusername i love you so much stop it
yourusername has posted
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liked by charlesleclerc, oliviarodrigo and 20, 485, 383 others
yourusername i'm excited to annouce that my third album afterglow comes out next thursday guysss. this album was along time coming and it has been pieced together in a story for you guys to fully understed my perspective over the past two years. from heartbreak, to peace, to understanding what true love feels like. the title track 'afterglow' will feature oliviarodrigo much love you guys.
yourusername pinned
the tracklist:
you're losing me, this is me trying, i hate it here, illicit affairs, the prophecy, loml, the black dog, bye, guilty as sin?, begin again, so highschool, dancing with our hands tied, so american, king of my heart, you are in love, call it what you want, daylight, but daddy i love him, afterglow ft olivia rodrigo, paper rings, lover, timeless, the manuscript
charlesleclerc pov you've already heard the songs
→ youusername pov you should shut up
francisca.cgomes so excited
liked by creator
oliviarodrigo it was an amazing experience getting to collab with you
liked by creator
_______________
a/n: happy ending!!! also i will probably end up doing a pt4 at some point with wedding fluff.
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lynnlovesthestars · 8 months
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One and only.
Pairing: Astarion x fem!reader
Genre & warnings: smut and fluff, post act 3, soft Astarion, fingering, slight overstimulation and orgasm denial, unprotected sex, a lil of anxiety? and thinking but lots of love too, blood, biting.. I don't think there's more?
Words: 4.4k (damn i didn't think it was that long oof.
Healing is a slow process, but with you it's a little easier.
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Astarion paced back and forth in front of the tent, weighing the words that were floating in his mind, the feeling that pooled in his stomach and shoved off the fear hidden in the back of his mind.
You were different because you cared about him. You reminded him every night before you'd close your eyes and fell asleep in his arms, and you respected him like none ever did. You reassured him whenever he'd ask you if you were still okay to wait for him until he was ready to try again with sex, and he was oh so grateful for it.
It's been around three years since you were free of the tadpole, you'd grown so much together: patching up each other's wounds while learning how to love. You taught him to be intimate without bedding you. You taught him how caresses could be so much more than sex.
He looked around the camp, you called your old companions for another adventure, helping you find a cure for vampirism, and they all eagerly accepted.
Aylin and Isobel were the only ones missing, literally.
You found a nice spot in the underdark, glowing mushrooms of pretty colors decorated all around you, and the circular cave was just perfect enough for the bunch of you.
You were fumbling around the fire, trying to roast a boar leg you got at a small merchant you found on the road.
Gale was trying to interfere with that boar leg cooking process, but you didn't want to hear him, especially after you had to live off his particularly unsavory stew for months, this time you were taking the metaphorical chef hat and feeding everyone with your newfound skills. Three years away from adventure had to be filled one way or another.
The camp was always lively, that's one of the perks of being so many.
Wyll was playing with Boo, while Minsc and Jaheira were playfully fighting over something dumb. Karlach and Halsin were fast asleep next to the fire, snoring loudly between Gale's words.
Lae'zel and Shadowheart were discussing as always and, though everyone was too distracted to hear him, Astarion was still mumbling to himself while pacing.
The dinner was great, you could see it in the eyes of everyone as they bit into the tender meat and shared stories. Minsc was deep into another tale of Boo, Jaheira and him as your eyes wandered to Astarion, which still hasn't had his dinner.
You couldn't see him, until you noticed that the oil lamp in your tent was on, and his shadow was fixing something around the tent. For what you knew he was moving the pillows scattered around, in a way that you'd be more comfortable while he fed.
They all knew at this point that you'd let him feed off you on daily basis, it started back while you were on your way to Baldur's Gate back then, and you took the habit so much that at a certain point you didn't even feel dizzy after he'd been done.
You excused yourself as you made your way to the tent, it was one of those nights where you needed an extra long hug, and a few kisses on the forehead.
When you opened the flap of the tent, he was still fighting with a pillow, trying to fluff it up just how he liked it, but failing. He was glad that he learned how to hide his emotions, shoving the tension down and away.
You kneeled next to him, placing a hand on his before taking the pillow from his grasp.
He followed your movements closely with his eyes, as you put the pillow on the floor.
He didn't know what he expected to see, but to watch you punch the pillow relentlessly, was definitely not on the list. Though after you were done, the pillow was somehow perfect. Was that how his pillow was always extra fluffy?
You gave him a soft smile before you tossed it next to the others, which you noticed were arranged differently, making something closer to a nest, than your usual layout.
You both didn't speak, you were so close that you'd know just by looking at your bodies, or the way your face crunched, and yours clearly said "cuddle".
In a matter of seconds, he pulled you in his arms before scooting closer to the pillows to rest there.
He loved the way you'd make yourself comfortable on his lap, how you wiggled for a moment before finding that nook where your head rested perfectly on his chest, and the way you would hum when you were happy with the position you chose.
He could live off just of that pretty sound that would come out of your lips.
You were so absorbed by the closeness that you didn't notice the barely perceptible hesitation in his touch, as he slowly turned your face to him, making sure you could hold eye contact for a moment.
The eagerness and the pure undevoted love were fighting with the fear, the fear of reliving those nights he tried so hard to forget, but at the end of the day, he needed you. He needed you more than he feared his nightmares, he needed to feel you around him, he needed to let you feel his love, his devotion, all of him.
If there was one person that he wanted to love so deeply, it was you.
So many times he thought of trying to have sex again just to see if he still was disgusted, but only with time he was able to realize that he wasn't disgusted by sex, he was disgusted of being stripped of his chance to back away. And the more he got to know you, the more he grew closer to you, the more he longed for you, in every way. It was no longer the need for release or just the fucking without attachments, he wanted to make love with you. He wanted to hear you moan his name like a chant, he wanted to feel your hands reach were no one was ever allowed to: tracing his back, on the dip of his lower back, around his hips, at the center of his chest, where his heart, your heart, resided.
There was no one else he desired like this, the idea of other people, or having other lovers but you, made him retch. He didn't want love unless it came from you, he didn't want sex unless it was you making him feel lightheaded. Of course it took him a lot of time to understand this, and a lot of work around his feelings, and his body, and you never shied away from any of his attempts to push his boundaries.
You helped him reshape the ideas of the smallest things, down to skinship.
Even after hours of brooding on how to ask you, he found himself speechless at the sight of your soft eyes filled with love, and the peaceful smile you gifted him. He was mesmerized.
It took him a second to just recollect, as he took his time ingraining in his mind that look he loved so much.
"My love" He whispered as he cupped your cheek, making you lean into his touch. "I've been thinking a lot" His thumb traced your cheekbone ever so slightly, drawing a delicate humm from you. He had planned a lot to say but as you leaned close, the speech was already out the window. So he just lowered you on the bed, and crashed his lips to yours.
It took you a second to process the unexpected movement, but a second later you were lost within his kiss.
Initially it was rough, the way he gripped on you, like an instinct that he could barely control, full of yearning and need, but slowly, the more you relaxed in his arms, savoring the taste of his kiss, the more he would slow down, like a love poem traced with his whole body.
His hands would graze over your hips, your shoulders, your neck, every bit of exposed skin was being caressed by his slender fingers, holding and molding your body like it was putty.
He rested his forehead against yours as he caught his breath, and allowed you as well. His eyes were closed as he was lost in your sweet scent.
It took him another long moment before being able to control his breath, regain his senses as his head was already spinning away.
"My love, allow me.." He breathed ooutsweetly as he latched his hand around yours, your fingers intertwining in his like an instinct. "Allow me to feel you." He placed a soft kiss on your cheek. "Allow me to make you mine" The words came out almost as a plea, like a starved man that was in front of a banquet and forced to resist the need. His lips traveled to your neck, resting where he'd usually drink from you.
"I'm already yours" You whimpered as you could feel his teeth graze, sending a shiver down your spine. You could feel the pit of your stomach bubbling with tenderness, as his eyes were rounder than usual, and his gaze was soft. Though there was a yearning feeling in the bottom, drowned momentarily by the adoration.
So many nights you had to leave the tent to take care of your needs, as you didn't want to burden Astarion with it. You wanted him to be fully there as he helped you release all that pent up tension, not just a shell of him. You craved his love, not his body.
You had to resist the very urge to push your hips against him, even though he was asking you already. You wanted to make sure he was truly okay before making any movement.
He groaned as he tilted your neck, pressing his lips right under your chin, and descending between your clavicle. He wanted to worship every millimeter of you, no skin would have to go unkissed.
"I want to make love to you, my one" He left a bite on your shoulder, no teeth were deep enough to draw blood, but definitely enough to steal a delicious mewl from you.
His words made your heart roar.
You raised your head enough to catch a glimpse of his eyes, now sultry, half closed as his lips still rested on your skin, dropping sweet kisses right where he was.
"Mh, you sure?" You asked as your body basked in the attention he was providing.
"Like I've never been before. I dreamt for so long to have you wrapped around me" He moved again, until your chests were against each other, and your noses were meeting. "I want no one else but you. I want to know what having the love of your life so close, so vulnerable feels like" He placed a quick kiss on your nose. "I just want to get lost in you, to hold you like I've never held anyone" his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you tight to him, like he wanted to merge your bodies. "I want to be one with you" He whispered as he closed his eyes again, inhaling your flowery scent mixed with his.
Your heart was pounding so loudly against your rib cage that you would have sworn he could feel it without leaning in.
You wanted to sound louder, but as your lips opened to say that yes, the sound came in almost a strangle
by all your emotions.
Astarion's eyes glimmered with a light you've never seen before resting there.
He was gentle as he undressed you, every inch that was being revealed to his eyes, was met with his yearning lips, drawing all sorts of pleading sounds from you. Your body was already shaking like a lire string as it was touched, and your lips chanting a melody for him.
His descent was agonizingly slow, but what struck you was how his movements were.
You knew he was well versed in sex, but the way he was caressing, tracing, kissing, biting, was the one of a man that was trying to listen to your reactions, to savor the tiniest sensations, to learn his lover, such a difference from the confident man that fucked you senslessly in a forest three years prior.
It was no longer about repayment for the feed or protection, it was pure undevoted love in each touch.
Just with those miniscule attentions, your heart was swelling for him, and little did you know that he was hitting him as well, all your emotions flowing around you in the small space of the tent.
Your clothes were soon on the other side of the floor and you took your time admiring him in all his beauty: the way his chest was rising, the way his skin was covered in small old marks, so carefully healed that you wouldn't be able to discern them unless you would be trying to remember his every pore.
"Gods i wish you could see yourself through my eyes right now" He sighed. "I've seen you naked so many times, but right now? No goddess could compare next to you" He kissed your navel delicately as his fingers were grazing your thighs.
You could feel your cheeks igniting at the praise. You wished for a moment you still had that tadpole eating your brain, just for a second to show him the true vision. His body was so perfect in front of you, the truly breathtaking view. You could have sworn he would have made such a perfect painting.
Before you could open your mouth though, he was praising you again.
"No words would be enough for me to explain how every curve of your body makes me ache for you, my one" He leaned forward, placing wet kisses from your neck, down to your hips, over and over again until his name was a broken mewl from you lips.
He stopped between your thighs, taking his time to spread you wide open for him. He kissed that spot that caught his mind right away, that perfect dip of your hips, where stretch marks were concentrated.
He hummed as he couldn't help but graze them with his teeth, stealing one moan that made him almost melt.
Then agonizingly slowly he kissed the inside of your thigh, trailing kisses until his nose brushed against your clit. You wanted to beg for him to eat you, but his head turned towards the other tight, repeating the tantalizing trail of kisses until he reached for your dripping cunt.
"You are so ready for me" He kissed right above your clit, teasing you more and more. "But I have to dine first" a finger gently traced the outline of your lips, taking his time before dipping it between your folds, and earning a moan. It was so long since someone touched you, you could feel your whole body clench at the smallest touch.
He kissed your thigh again, sighing at the softness of your skin. You were so wet he just inserted another finger in you and started pumping in your pussy, drawing those perfect moans from you again, music to his pointy ears.
Then as he added another finger, his teeth sank in your plush thigh. All of your senses jolted up, amplifying everything as he started drinking from you.
His slender fingers reached right where he made you cry in pleasure, as you slowly gave in to the lightheadedness.
As he kept feeding, he still worked you like he knew every movement that would make you whimper, drawing always so near to your orgasm before pulling away.
Moments later he finally let go of your thigh, his teeth slipped away from the pricks they had made home in, and licked away the rivlet of blood still spilling from the new wound, causing your body to arch even more under his tongue. You were so close, so desperate to come you'd chant his name like a prayer, just so he'd taste you.
Instead he pulled out his fingers, taking one at a time in his mouth and sucking your slick off of them.
"You are delicious, my love" He moaned as he popped each finger out of his lips.
You were on edge, so tempted to take control and ride his face until you'd come on his lips, but you had to restrain yourself, you wanted him to guide you through it, you wanted him to have full control of his and your body.
His tongue reached for the rivlet of blood on his lips before pulling you in his lap, your thighs wrapped around his hips like they were made just for that. You could feel his erection press against your folds as he pulled you closer.
His lips and yours clashed together in something that was akin to a slow dance, your arms wrapped around his neck, while his held you by your hips.
You could drink the sighs he was letting out, the smile he grew in that intimate moment, the reason why he wanted you in this position.
For months he tried to imagine how he wanted to make love to you, how he'd feel the safest, and his mind always came back at the idea of your chests against each other, your lips so close he could kiss you, but also where he could hear your moans the closest. How he wanted you to rest against him as he whispered how perfect you were for him, he wanted you. All of you. All of your warmth, all of your skin, all of your sights, he wanted to see how he was affetting you, and how you affected him. He wanted to lift your chin, to kiss your neck, he wanted the both of you to find respite in the tight hold.
Seeing you so close to him, so vulnerable just how much he would be, it was how he wanted it to go, cause this for him was like a first time. He wanted to be overwhelmed by you, as you consumed him.
He wanted to feel his home in you. In you and only you.
He took a moment, resting against you, clinging to you like you were going to disappear from his grasp.
"If you want to stop, you just have to say it, my star" You whispered as you rested a hand in his hair, drawing circles on his scalp as he breathed in your scent, that was slowly mixing with the smell of sex.
"No my love, I'm just bathing in you before doing anything else" He admitted, placing a kiss on your neck, where he was resting his head.
"I don't think I could ever exchange this for anything. No power, or castle could compare to the home I made in your heart". His words were warm, caring, just like scorching fire against ice.
"I love you" You murmured as you caressed his cheek, and brought him back to you.
"I love you too, my one" He kissed you slowly as he guided you up. Bringing you to rest your forehead against each other as you slowly sank on his length. A gasp simultaneously filled the tent, so loud it could wake up everyone, but you didn't care. The air was pulled out of your chests, as you clinged on each other.
You both waited a moment before doing any movement, both overwhelmed by the closeness and the pleasure.
You wrapped around him so perfectly, he could barely keep any control over his body, his mind or his lips.
"Mh so perfect for me" He whispered sultry, as he guided you through the slow movement, allowing him to bottom out before having your hips meet his again, stealing another breathy moan.
It was slow, tender, so much that you could feel your eyes become glassy.
Nothing could ever compare to the fire that was spreading around your body as he picked up pace, stealing everything from you. Your air, your whimpers, your heart, over and over again.
He wanted to savor every inch of you, he would allow himself to fill you to the hilt, as he threw his head back.
"M-mine" He lulled as he couldn't resist the urge to go faster, his body loosing control of his movements.
It became all so sloppy, ragged as he grasped at you ass, his nails sinking into your skin as he slapped his hips against yours.
"This is what you do to me" He rasped as he lolled his head back. His hair wild as some curls fell on his face. His mouth agape as he choked praises.
Sweet gasps echoed between the syllables of your name, as he submitted to the pleasure.
He wanted to scream, to let everyone know you were his and no one could ever coax those sounds from him like you did, so effortlessly.
Your fingers twirled naturally around his curls, pulling his head to yours as you deepened the kiss along with your movements, savoring the taste of his lips and sweat as you made him see the stars.
You drank each other's moans with your lips as you completely gave away to the pleasure, as you gave all of you to each other.
You could barely register who was directing, cause your bodies just felt like one. Molten lava simply mixing as it burned hot like the hells.
You were so close, your whole body shaking as you could barely form a proper sentence. "L-love y-you" You muttered though your tongue felt indescribably heavy and light simultaneously.
You were drunk on him, your eyes rolling back as he hit that spot that could make you come undone. He worshiped every inch he could reach with his lips, making sure your body was left with a memory of the night, of his trust, of his love.
"You fill me so well" you praised with the last bit of your sanity, stealing the most precious sound from his lips.
Euphoria washed over Astarion as he was high on the feeling of your pussy clenching uncontrollably around him.
He pumped in you insatiably as you could feel it build up, the familiar knot as your muscles tensed up, feeling the heat rise and your legs shake.
You were not sure what it was, maybe it was the moaned praises, or his touch, or the way his hair bounced as he sank in your, but you felt your body being stripped of all the flesh, pleasure taking it's place as your orgasm washed over you. Your head rested on his shoulder as he was still lost in you, so close to his own release.
You knew that the only sound in the camp was your skin slapping, and the lustful sounds you'd make for each other.
The frenzy turned into a slow-burning passion, his hips rhythmically pounding in you as his lips met again with yours in a matching kiss, your moans mixing in the middle as you could feel it again, your orgasm building so quickly you barely had time to process how sensitive you were.
You let go of his lips to admire how his mouth parted, a series of whimpered moans fell from his lips as you could feel every inch of you being dragged away in the second orgasm at the sole sight.
His hips stuttered once, twice, before the arrogant orgasm sent him to the moon, spilling all his cum in your warmth.
He stayed in you for a few more moments as he processed how elated he felt.
There was no one else in the universe that would make him feel so safe, so loved. He was gentle as he laid with you in his arms, drawing shapeless lines along your velvety skin.
He couldn't hold back the tears that were forming at the edge of his eyes, as he held this night so close to his heart. For him, this was his first time, and it was with you, his other half.
You noticed right away when the first few tears started tracing his skin. You were so afraid of his reaction that this was like a shock to you, in a way.
You prayed the morninglord he wasn't already regretting the intimacy, maybe he didn't feel what you felt: that sense of belonging, the overwhelming love.
You cupped his cheek as you caught a tear with your thumb. "Are you ok, my star?" You whispered as you took away another and another with tenderness that made Astarion even more emotional.
He slowly met your gaze, his eyes so soft and his lips curled in a tender smile as the droplets still descended down his cheeks.
"I'm perfect, my love" He rested his hand on yours, clasping at your fingers and bringing them away from his cheek.
"Why are you crying?" You offered a reassuring look, the one he learned meant that you were a safe space where he could speak his mind unfiltered.
"I dreamt of this nights for months, how I would ask you, and how I'd hope this would carry out" He exhaled for a moment as he toyed with your fingers.
"And none of those dreams could ever get close to this" His smile was getting wider, accentuating those lines you loved so much.
"I don't care for sex, unless it's with you. Unless it's loving you with every inch of me, unless it means undressing ourselves and being exposed in all our vulnerability. Unless it means I get to feel you become part of me" You were absorbed by his words and his eyes, that you didn't notice he let go of your hand to hold you closer.
"You are the other part of me", He let out shakily. "I might even say you are the best part as well." He kissed your forehead tenderly. "You are my one and only" He whispered at last as he dragged the blanket he had left on the side, on your bodies. You murmured something between a love confession and a praise as he lulled you to sleep in his embrace.
You were fast asleep as he finally remembered what he was forgetting.
He summoned a mage hand, trying to be as silent as possible. The ghostly arm reached under one pillow and pulled out the velvety box, before shoving it in Astarion's backpack and dissolving its form.
"Tomorrow" He noted in his mind. "Tomorrow I'll ask you"
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beanytuesday · 7 months
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Hey, I love your art -- I was wondering if you ever posted your illustration for Kafka's "A Hunger Artist" on here? It's really evocative and gorgeously framed, and I find myself thinking of it frequently!!
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Thank you for the kind words. A Hunger Artist by Franz Kafka is one of my favorite short stories of all time, and it’s a very quick read. You can read it right here:
https://www.kafka-online.info/a-hunger-artist.html
Go ahead, I’ll wait here.
I’d like to take us opportunity to talk a little bit about the story, if I may.
Although there are a couple different interpretations of the story's meaning, it unambiguously read to me as an allegory for the plight of the creative, likely drawing from Kafka’s own experience. The ‘starving artist’ comparison is obvious, but there’s much more to it than that. In a departure from most other depictions in media, the plight of the artist is not depicted as something noble or redemptive, but as a sort of self-destructive madness. The hunger artist dies alone and in obscurity, his impact on the world ultimately being completely marginal and insubstantial. When questioned about why he chose a life like this, he reveals that he doesn’t even enjoy fasting, he simply couldn’t find any food he liked. That is to say, a true creative does not select this kind of self destructive lifestyle because they enjoy it; rather, it is because they cannot possibly bear to do anything else. Kafka himself, It should be mentioned, supposedly despised pretty much every job he ever had.
As some of you may know, I developed severe tendinitis a couple months ago. Mentally, September was probably the worst months of my entire life. I reflected on this story a lot –I had wrought my own self destruction, and for what? A couple of bucks? A few comics that i’ll become embarrassed of in a year’s time anyway? Unsure about my prospects for recovery, I became incredibly depressed.
But having been starved of the ability to write or draw, I had a genuine epiphany. Standing at the corner of Boston liquors in Allston, I resolved that I would muster the strength to endure this, regardless of how long it took, because what awaited me at the end was nothing short of the greatest prize a person could ask for: That very thing derided by Kafka –the life of an artist.
There is no greater pleasure than making art. I mean that genuinely, I mean that literally. No, it isn’t noble, no, it isn’t redemptive, but in a totally hedonistic and self-serving way it is simply the greatest thing that life can offer, ambrosia in the mouth, better than sex, better than drugs, better than anything that money can buy, and I feel pity for anyone unable to experience it. I am not being hyperbolic, I am not being metaphorical. I am stating this in the plainest of terms, having lived a life without it for the last couple of months.
So although my personal relationship to the story has changed in the past couple months, Kafka was right about one thing; nothing else tastes good, at least not by comparison. We must imagine the hunger artist happy.
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