#i wake up. i want to die. i go to class. i want to die. i have a nice conversation with friends. i want to die. i pet my cat. i want to die

[yardsards]

there's so many posts floating around that are like "if you stop joking about wanting to kill yourself, you won't think about suicide as much!"

and. in my experience, that's just been dead false.

when i was younger, i would casually joke about my suicidal urges all the time. it made my (often equally depressed) peers laugh along and connect with me, and it made the urges feel less scary, like i could conquer them and laugh.

i stopped joking about suicide as i got older. everyone said it was harmful to do, so i quit. and i think it actually made me feel so much worse. my suicidal ideations are now a dark taboo swirling around deep within me: something that i can't show outside of serious conversations in therapists' offices or to friends preceded with "can i vent about something?". serious conversations that don't really make me feel better and often manage to make the suicidal feelings look even BIGGER and more unmanageable to me.

i wish i could joke about it like i used to, but i can't. i'm more conscientious of others' feelings and reactions to me than i used to be (which is in some ways a good thing, but in some ways leaves me constantly muting and molding myself just to be more palatable to outsiders). so i can't bring myself to risk upsetting anyone with my dark jokes anymore: no matter if it's fellow suicidal people who may be understandably hurt by the subject, or if it's just mentally healthy people clutching their pearls because i dare be mentally ill in public.

and joking about these things is a lot more taboo now that it was just a few years ago as a teenager in the late 2010s. humor was more dark and ironic overall at the time. you could post like, a deep fried jpeg of a shrimp captioned "i want to krill myself!" and there was a general understanding that like, yeah some of the feelings there might be genuine, but it's still a joke and you can join in on laughing. but now something like that would be treated more like a cry for help.

i don't really have a solution to this cuz like, yeah there were people who were negatively impacted by the ubiquity of suicide jokes back then, and it's probably not something we as a culture should bring back overall. but GOD sometimes i miss it.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think a lot of people don't support punitive justice on a governmental level (good), but they don't understand why punitive justice is overarchingly a bad thing, so they still operate with the idea that it's still the Best Option, but only when they can wield it.

Of course, there is a difference between a government having access to punitive justice and individuals or a small community having access to it, but the mindset is still strikingly similar. I've seen it time and time again where one's desire to destroy after even a small slight outweighs anything else, and that's alarming, actually. Yes, it's understandable, but I still don't think it is a healthy impulse or knee-jerk reaction for every minor affront.

[eleventeenratsinaflannelsuit]

telling the psychiatrist who gets me my adhd medication that i dont have abnormal anxiety except now im pulling another anxiety-driven all nighter because every time i close my eyes i feel slightly like im going to die from thoughts

the moral of this story is dual enrollment sucks

[yangjeongin]

.

[lesbianlenas]

knowing i have to go through a whole week of classes…..

[bunnihearted]

for reasons unknown to me i have ice cream in my hair

[bog-horse]

emotionally i cannot cope with my latin class. i would appreciate it if something could change

[featherymainffins]

I thought I would walk some additional 14 km today and thus burn my accidental lunch (caved into peer pressure and went to a restaurant and had a salad instead of eating my perfectly counted can of tuna) and as such I agreed to go have breakfast with some friends tomorrow to celebrate the end of the excursion.

But I did not walk those 14 km because I wasn't able to get water + I just finished 12 hours of lectures + my arches were killing me + it was raining + I wanted to shower + I wanted to study + I was fucking freezing.

Which means I have to punish myself for my lack of discipline and I also have to make up for the food and that means I CANNOT have that breakfast. In fact I cannot have anything. For 2 days. Just to be sure.

So now I'm trying to figure out what lie I can make up. Currently thinking about saying that I just started to feel really nauseous all of a sudden and as such I unfortunately cannot eat breakfast oopsie. It feels really random and not really believable though.

[eclarinet]

im so tired these days. i feel like everything is starting to grind to a halt. but it's ok. i will keep trying

[snowsinterlude]

need someone older.

(teacher!coriolanus × student!reader.)

summary: a teacher can do a lot in private lessons.

c.w: reader is 19 for repeating a year, age gap (coryo's 29), fingering, tummy bulge, heavy smut, edging (f. recieving), overstimulation, stuffed panties, mild public sex, petnames (coryo calls reader bunny, pet, good girl.), reader thinks coryo is married so . cheating implications, marriage proposal

being a dumb girl was something you tried your best to do ever since you repeated the first year of high school, watching all your friends graduating before you was something you weren't proud about- not for them, but for you. you were supposed to be by their side.

thankfully, you had your professor, coriolanus snow. god. he was the only reason for you to pay attention to class (or at least try to), you were hungry for his approval. for you to be called a "good girl", and be said that you've done well in your tests? yeah, you were willing to do anything for that.

when he offered you private classes, you said yeah without even thinking much. you needed to learn, and spending more time with him was something you craved for. the ring on his finger? fuck it. you wanted it. you deserved it. more than his wife – if he had one.

you've been day dreaming about it constantly, eyes always searching for his on every class you had with him, and he would keep that smile painted on his face, not wanting anyone to think you were the reason for him to be smiling, even if you were, the didn't need to know about it.

"bunny," he voiced, leaning on your desk and taking advantage of the fact that you both were on the library, every student on the school had gone home and the teachers had gathered to go to a nearby bar. "stop looking at my dick now, will we?" he said, chuckling at you.

"huh?" you asked, finally waking to your reality.

"you need to learn that if you don't want to repeat a grade again." he said, sitting by your side, his hand holding your thigh. "you don't want to repeat now, do you?" you shaked your head negatively, and he loved seeing you like that, shy as a kitten even if you usually had his dick on your mouth when that used to happen. "c'mon, don't look at me like that. we have to put these things on your brain if you want to graduate already." he said.

his fingers slowly travelled all the way up on your panties, finding a small damp on the fabric, he looked at you with his usual smirk, his pupils blown already from everything he was about to do to you.

and now you looked like a mess. hands gripping on the library desk as your legs trembled with the aftermath of every time you almost came. you counted six till now, crying from how good it felt having him behind you, his fingers thrusting lewdly into your cunt.

"c-coryo- t-teacher, please. please stop it, i have to cum- i can't hold it in anymore!" you begged, clenching as his fingers rubbed deliciously on your clit after thrusting so many times inside you.

"well, it's not my fault, pet. you're the one getting your questions wrong." he said, pulling his dick to tease the core of your pussy, your cries only making him feel and making his ego bigger. "tell me, baby, how do you want it?"

"q-quick, pleease! if it get slower i-i think i'll die!" you said, legs spread as your skirt revealed a small part of your ass.

"oh, c'mon, i'm sure you can take it, baby" he purred in your ear, the tip of his cock teasing your pussy and slapping your clit slightly, making your body jolt slightly. you bend over, your elbows being now your main support at that table.

"please, teacher..!" you begged. but he didn’t even bat an eye to your cries, slowly sliding his dick inside you, and fuck, you both fucked on wednesday, how come he always seems to stretch you up so good? the pace he choose to torture you with was so slow, making sure you felt every inch of his dick inside you, stretching you, making you his. "please, don't do that to me. j-just ask something easier!" you cried.

"easier? okay... let's see" his hips bucked slowly into yours, your pussy gushing around him as if your own body needed that- as if he was the hair you breathed for. "what's your age, babe?" he asked, a playful tone being cast as his free hand massaged your boob, pinching on your nipple and freeing both your boobs from it's cage.

"n-nineteen." you said, and he laughed again as he said: "good girl, you're right.", his hips giving you a powerful thrust that made you cum with only that, making you cry from your own humiliation.

"ah, bunny, don't tell me you came already only with that." he said, joking with your face as you cried.

"i'm sorry- too good. i-it was too deep." he laughed, pulling back and thrusting deeper again, this time, you made sure not to cum again, edging yourself as he changed your position to put your leg over his broad shoulder, his dick making a bulge appear at your tummy. he loved that view- much more than he loved you.

"look at you, taking me so well. how does it feel, baby? use one of the words we learned at the literature class," he grunted your tightness coating his dick with your own juices, "use them, even if it's just two, and i'll let you cum."

"tortuous," you begin, crying from how good it felt, from how dumb you were getting. "spiralling, it's twirling my insides!" you cried. and he smilled, kissing and licking your tears before placing the most gentle kiss on your lips, pouding faster into you as you closed your eyes shut, moaning and grunting from all the pleasure- and yet you tried your best to avoid moaning only to hear his moans and the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh.

"good girl." he said, his hands holding your hips as he fucked you. it felt truly out of your world experience. his phone ringed just at the right moment he hit your cervix. "t-teacher, your phone- it can be your wife." you said, earning a frown from him as he turned the phone off.

"wife? baby, i'm single." he said, chuckling at you. "you've been walking around school with my cum stuffed in your panties even thought you thought i was married?" he pounded into you with a more quicken pace. "god, what a dirty girl you are. fucking around with married teachers." he teased you.

you felt a heat on your cheeks that you never felt before. god, how much would you end up humiliating yourself? "b-but, fuck! y-your ring-"

he showed you the ring. taking it off his finger with his mouth and sticking his tongue to you, an invitation for you to take the ring.

"keep it." he said once you took the ring

"but- s-sir, i-"

"mm, bunny, i'm a faithful man." he said. "and right now, i'm faithful to you." he said. you squirmed deliciously at the feeling of his cock filling you up again, his tip on your cervix as you came again, and soon enough, he came too.

he helped you get dressed into your panties again and straightned your clothes, a cast kiss on your lips before he smiled sweetly at you, putting the ring on your middle finger.

"i hope you know what that means."

"i-i do." you said, for both questions heavily implied in that context.

"great. then make sure to graduate, bunny." he smiled. "i'm sure the honeymoon will be great."

[jazzyoranges]

Recognizeable

Wednesday Addams x fem!shapeshifter!reader

Summary: based on this ask!

Words: 1.4k

A/n: this kinda doesn’t have a plot 😭 whoopsies

Warnings: blood, wounds, i swear it’s not angsty R just takes a small tumble lol

“Did it hurt?”

“What, when I fell from heaven?” You crack a smile at your very hilarious joke, but Wednesday does her version of a huff and an eye-roll

“Apologies, I should have elaborated better.” You wince a little in pain as Wednesday disinfects the open wound on your knee and the smaller cuts around your body

The Addams girl was taking Thing and her pet bird, aka you, for a walk outside Nevermore in the forest that surrounded the academy as she watched you loop around in circles. She’d assume you were training for some competition if she didn’t know your personality enough, but Wednesday ultimately came to the conclusion you just had the bird equivalent of zoomies

You squawked at other birds as you passed them by in their trees, and Wednesday made a mental note to ask you if you could actually talk and understand them. Her hypothesis was that you couldn’t and you were just making animal noises for your own amusement

Either her hypothesis was true and you had no idea what you said, or you knowingly called a bird a slur. The previous was probably true due to the horrified expression on your face as a murder of crows you were “talking” to started chasing you down. You must’ve squawked something real bad for all of them to come after you.

You miss the smirk Wednesday has on her face.

The crows must’ve overwhelmed you pretty bad, because next thing she knew you were hitting every single branch of a tree in human form. Was that intentional? She’d have to ask you about it later. After she made sure you weren’t dead, of course

Wednesday arrived just in time for you to almost slam straight into her head, but a simple side step caused you to eat shit instead. There was a very noticeable and loud thump when your head hit a tree root. Wednesday would’ve been more concerned if you didn’t immediately curl into the fetal position, mumbling about how you’d take a nap right then and there

Either shapeshifters were gods, or you just had a really fucking thick skull. Wednesday internally smiled at the thought.

The Addams girl was well aware of the smelling salts in her backpack for times like these, but she looked at Thing for what he wanted to do to get you up. You could wait… probably.

After some inspection, Thing decided it was best to call Enid to carry you back to their dorm. The wound on your knee would only make you limp and cause more pain.

Wednesday made sure to keep you alive, though. She poked you with a stick here and there and gave you reassurance, which she saw you smile at.

You were prone to accidents. Both of the Addams knew you were fine. Truly, it was just another Tuesday. Wake up, go to class, take girlfriend and Thing on a walk, you break a bone, it was all a part of the schedule

It wasn’t even a shapeshifter thing either, you just refused to die. Which the Addams was ultimately grateful for, but your ability to visit death like a close friend had Wednesday just a little jealous

A groan of pain from the back of your throat brings the shorter girl back to the present

“Why did you turn human in the middle of the sky?”

“Whenever I shift I have to really concentrate on it the entire time, so I guess those crows just really fucked me up and messed with my focus” You sigh

“Is it hard? To keep concentration, I mean.” Wednesday starts to wrap the bigger wound on your knee with a bandage wrap

“I’ve been doing it forever, so it’s kinda easy. Not when you’re getting jumped by crows, though…”

“Could you not just shift a pair of wings for yourself?”

“I was already focusing on having the thick skull of a ram.” You knock on your head for effect. “How do you think I haven’t died yet?”

Oh so it was a shapeshifter thing. She was right about your thick skull, though

“Perhaps you should tell Enid that,” Wednesday gets up from her kneeling position in front of you. “She almost fainted carrying you on the way here and I have reason to believe it isn’t because you’re heavy.”

“Maybe I should get her something as compensation…” You mumble to yourself as Wednesday helps you out of the bathroom, using her as a crutch so you can flop onto her bed

The Addams girl sits beside you, your face buried in her sheets. Both of you fall into a comfortable silence as Wednesday continues to stare at you, her mind coming up with endless questions about your abilities.

If concentration was a constant concern, was Wednesday not giving you not enough credit? To focus on multiple tasks at once, surely it was hard for someone as air-headed as you. But then again, you have been doing this for your entire life. Did your concentration come as easy as breathing? Was it so natural you barely noticed it?

And surely the process hurt, right? Your molecules were repositioning themselves to fit the look of an entirely different being. What was there a difference between you and Weems?

What were your limitations? Wednesday would like to test them. Maybe if she’d ask kindly enough you’d-

“Ask your questions, Wens” You mumble into her soft bedsheets, your voice snapping Wednesday out of her thoughts

“Pardon?”

“We’re girlfriends. You can read my mind as much as I can read yours”

“And your logical explanation for that, is..?”

“Girlfriend magic.” You hold up your hands while shaking them, and Wednesday immediately recognizes the jazz hands you had quite an addiction to

“Another day, it’s best you rest.”

This makes you turn your head to look at Wednesday, a smile threatening to take over your face

“I don’t understand why people don’t believe me when I say you’re the romantic one” You gush

“Unless you want me to bombard you with questions until morning rises, I’d suggest you stay quiet.”

“Yes ma’am” You pull down Wednesday on her bed, shoving your face into the shorter girls collar.

From that day forward Wednesday asks you one question a day about your abilities, and you make sure to answer them as best as you can. It was something Wednesday appreciated about you.

Answers would span from 15 minutes to almost 2 hours long. There were some days you had to pull out the whiteboard that was collecting dust in the bee shed, writing and drawing out key information

At first it was casual, it really was. But a month later it was almost like class with how the Addams had a book and a half filled with information about you. A class Wednesday could actually get behind.

She’s learned every shapeshifter is different. Some turn into people, some turn into animals, and others can turn into both. So the book and a half was really just information about you, which Wednesday wasn’t exactly opposed to

Meditation seemed to be a pretty big thing to you. Whenever Wednesday was writing, you’d be meditating. At first the Addams questioned if you were compatible being in a room with her loud typewriter, but you insisted the noise was necessary for you to tune out

Another thing Wednesday learned is that you couldn’t exceed four limbs. Which, you made sure to voice your opinion on. The dreams of being a four-legged and two-winged western dragon was impossible, so unfortunately you’d have to make your peace with being a wyvern instead

Small snores came from you curled around Wednesday under a tree as a tiger. She could only focus on how you always somehow resembled your human face

Turning to a new page of her journal, the Addams girl starts to sketch the face of your tiger next to the one of your lion. No matter what form you’d take, Wednesday would be able to recognize it.

[rainydayathogwarts]

ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ᴛʀɪᴏ ᴇʀᴀ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

Here's my navigation for my other masterlists!

ʀᴏɴ ��ᴇᴀꜱʟᴇʏ

Jealous, jealous, jealous girl - ** ron notices you upping the PDA when Lavender starts flirting with him and you decide to show her who he belongs to.

popular!shy!reader - * ron’s friends think you were the one who made the move but are shocked to find out the opposite.

the dream** - ron has a dirty dream and wakes up hard next to reader

Needy** - needy!ron misses you because you've been taking NEWTs too seriously but he finds the perfect moment to drag you into an empty classroom.

Overstimulation with dom!Ron**

Goodbye kisses that last longer than intended blurb

Opposite teams** - You play a Quidditch match against your boyfriend, who's a very sore loser.

Glossy lips - Wiping off lip gloss from his lips after a kiss

Late to class** - Ron doesn't want you to leave to class so soon and manages a convincing excuse for you to stay

Ron won't stop complaining about Seamus and his girlfriend taking up the dorm until he's the one with a girl in there. coming soon...

ɴᴇᴠɪʟʟᴇ ʟᴏɴɢʙᴏᴛᴛᴏᴍ

Snake ring* - In which the twins pull you into a game of seven minutes in heaven.

Dry-humping Neville at a party**

Kiss and tell - In which a very aware y/n of Neville's crush on her gets the courage to make a move.

Stolen glances - Stealing glances at each other across the room until your friends notice.

ʜᴀʀʀʏ ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ

Harry's bi awakening

"You knew?" "You didn't?" - In which the twins only just find out their sister is dating Harry.

Me and You - You keep telling Ron to just 'ask her out' but he won't take your word seriously until you take your own advice. Somehow, you both end up with dates...

Sub!harry begging mean!slytherin!reader to let him cum, but she's having too much fun... coming soon

ᴏʟɪᴠᴇʀ ᴡᴏᴏᴅ

I already won - even though he very much lost the game, he still won you.

How they react when you tell them you're in the mood - Oliver wood edition

Blood, dirt and reunions - You almost die and reunite with an old ex-boyfriend... or not.

ꜱᴇᴀᴍᴜꜱ ꜰɪɴɴᴇɢᴀɴ

Tipsy - Seamus takes care of you when you're drunk.

Safe in his arms - Brother!Harry Potter makes Seamus promise him to keep you safe because of how obvious your feelings are for each other.

ᴘᴇʀᴄʏ ᴡᴇᴀꜱʟᴇʏ

Just a swim - Percy's partner tries to get him to break a couple of rules.

How they react when you're in the mood*

'For the first time in his life, Percy pushes academics aside to focus on a girl, but his family doesn't know and thinks he has gone down a dark road.' coming soon...

ᴄʜᴀʀʟɪᴇ ᴡᴇᴀꜱʟᴇʏ

Guilt trip - Charlie tries to guilt trip the reader to visit his family with him.

ᴠɪᴋᴛᴏʀ ᴋʀᴜᴍ

What's her face - Rita skeeter being annoying

ɢᴇᴏʀɢᴇ ᴡᴇᴀꜱʟᴇʏ

'Reader wakes George up to go out for a morning walk at the Burrow but George is feeling quite frisky and drags you behind a tree to give you some pleasure.' coming soon...

ᴄᴇᴅʀɪᴄ ᴅɪɢɢᴏʀʏ

No disturbances - You and Cedric make such a cute couple that teachers have turned a blind eye to several accounts of PDA.

ᴘʀᴇꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇꜱ

Someone finds out you're dating

he gets turned on at the wrong time*

She gets turned on at the wrong time*

[allpiesforourown]

OKAY SO I have way too many WIPs to write a role reversal fic and I meant to just yap about my au and ended up writing 2k words about it if you want to read it below...

oblivious shizun luo binghe / oblivious disciple shen yuan

First of all i've been reading a lot of role reversal fics lately but big shout out to ao3 user anqlbean for this fic because it really gave me "fuckboy shizun binghe, hiding that he's a demon lord" brain rot

Okay so anyway. In fair cang qiong sect where we lay our scene-

Luo Binghe is the Qing Jing peak lord. He’s also the heavenly emperor of the demon realm. No one knows both of his identities except for mobei jun and a handful of other people from his inner circle. It’s risky for a demon to hide as one of the cultivation world’s most prominent figures, but he likes having the best of both worlds!

Enter Shen Yuan: Shen Yuan's cultivation history is somewhat similar to Shen Jiu's in that he started cultivating late and joined Qing Jing well into his teens. He’s about 16 when he becomes Binghe’s student, but the thing is… Luo Binghe is kind of just the peak lord in name.

He spends his free time getting laid in the next town or going on an adventure with some hot demoness instead of giving classes. He’ll go on cultivation missions and take requests from villages and whatnot, but he doesn't bother teaching his disciples, just gives them a cultivation manual and tells them to figure it out. Half the time when students greet him on the peak he just nods because he doesnt even remember the disciple’s name. It’s fine though, once every few months he’ll take a break from all the one night stands and actually take a student along with him on a mission, just to keep the sect leader from complaining. “See, I teach my kids! Last month I took what’s-his-name on a night hunt!”

By the time Luo Binghe bothers to take Shen Yuan along for a mission, Shen Yuan is already 20 and has been on the peak for 4 years. Luo Binghe barely knows he exists, and he justs wants to collect this herb he was tasked with retrieving, send Shen Yuan back with it, and then get nasty with the woman back in the village who gave them directions to the cave that grows it. 

Unfortunately for Binghe, the cave is also home to one of the few flowers that can affect a demon lord. Binghe can’t move as he falls to the ground and hears his student yell “Shizun!” and run over.

They can hear monsters nearby so Shen Yuan’s two options are to 1) heal his shizun by taking advantage of Binghe's body or 2) abandon him to die and leave by himself. Binghe has experienced both multiple times, and is ready for either one. He's not ready for Shen Yuan to choose a third option that no one has ever chosen before: heaving Luo Binghe onto his back, transferring him qi, and using every bit of strength to carry him to safety. 

By the time they return to the cave’s entrance, Shen Yuan only has enough energy to use a talisman signalling the sect for help before they both pass out. 

When Luo Binghe wakes up, the Qian Cao peak lord is asking him how he feels while his head disciple is yelling at a sheepish Shen Yuan for doing something reckless again! Apparently this is not the first time Shen Yuan has exhausted himself for the sake of another person. 

Over the next few days, he can’t think of anything other than his student. 

(Also, he secretly feels kind of… angry??? Was his body so unappealing to Shen Yuan that he'd rather half-die than dual cultivate with him?? He's not sure why he's so pissed off by the idea, it's not like he's ever wanted to dual cultivate with a man before, but still…)

Finally he decides he has every right to be curious about shen yuan, that’s his disciple! Unfortunately while Binghe was ignoring Shen Yuan's existence for the past few years, his disciple has managed to build up… a reputation at Cang Qiong. 

Oh Shen Yuan selflessly saved Luo Binghe? Big deal, saving people is an average Tuesday for Shen Yuan, apparently! “He stopped my qi deviation” this, “he threw me out of a poisonous demon's way” that. 

For the first time ever, Luo Binghe is not special. If anything, he has less pull with Shen Yuan than anyone else at Cang Qiong, because everyone else knows Shen Yuan better. Luo Binghe doesn’t know Shen Yuan’s birthday, but the rest of his students make sure to throw Shen Yuan a party every year to thank him for all his tutoring. Binghe is SO far behind, which is a feeling he hasn’t felt in YEARS. 

About a month after the mission, he finally sees Shen Yuan sparring alone. Luo Binghe walks over, acting unbothered and nonchalant even though he's screaming internally. He greets his disciple and says, “This master has yet to properly thank Shen Yuan for his assistance at the cave… join me at the bamboo house tonight.” 

Shen Yuan apologizes, says he has important plans but would love to join him another night, then spends the rest of the day off the peak with the An Ding head disciple. 

Luo Binghe is flabbergasted. He's less important than an An Ding disciple???? Really??? Fucking An Ding????? 

After that, Luo Binghe……. He isn’t stalking Shen Yuan, despite what Liu Mingyan (Xian Su peak lord) might say with excited eyes. He’s just keeping an eye on this interesting disciple he never knew he had! In secret. 

He walks in on Qingge and Shen Yuan “sparring” and sees the exact moment Shen Yuan oversteps, loses his balance and goes tumbling on top of Liu Qingge. Binghe storms over, picks Shen Yuan up by the back of his robe like a cat, and physically separates the two of them. The two disciples gawk at how weird that was and he has no idea how to come up with an excuse for whatever the hell that just was. 

Instead he asks what they’re doing. 

Shen Yuan, being polite and answering the question: Liu-shidi and I are heading on a mission soon-

Luo Binghe: this master shall join you.

Shen Yuan: uh… it's a very simple request, two disciples are more than en-

Luo Binghe: this. Master. Shall. Join. You.

Liu Qingge: ???? What the hell is his problem 

Shen Yuan: Okay… this disciple is grateful for shizun’s assistance…?

Their flight to the village is dead quiet. 

The townspeople sigh theyre so glad they’re here, some demonic creature has been destroying their wildlife! This area makes most of their money with lumber exports, so if the creature continues to destroy their trees, it’ll result in huge losses. 

When they find the demon, Shen Yuan starts yapping non stop. It’s like he’s suddenly transformed into a textbook, explaining that this little beaver-esque demon needs to chew up trees for its survival. Luo Binghe is bored out of his mind and pulls out his sword. 

Shen Yuan gaps and picks up the small creature, holding it protectively against his chest. “This species isn’t even violent! We can’t kill it!” 

Luo Binghe crosses his arms and says they have to complete this commission somehow. Shen Yuan argues they can simply relocate the demon somewhere else! Luo Binghe expects Liu Qingge to complain or brutishly try to kill it, but he shrugs and says he’ll follow Shen Yuan. Apparently this happens regularly…

By the time they rehome the creature somewhere it won’t be a bother, it’s too late to fly back to the sect.

The only close by inn apologizes and says they only have two rooms left, and each one is a single bed. They can have a mat sent up, but…

Binghe says he should room with Shen Yuan because they’re both from Qing Jing, and (he glares at Liu Qingge as he says this) Liu Qingge is an outsider. Liu Qingge narrows his eyes and says it would be inappropriate for a peak lord to share a room with a lowly disciple, so he should room with Shen Yuan. 

Shen Yuan cheerfully chimes in that he and Liu-shidi sleep together all the time! “Whenever shidi and I camp outdoors, he says he prefers sleeping on the ground. He’ll be happy to take the mat.”

Luo Binghe's smile becomes a little forced, but shen Yuan doesn't even notice the murderous intent rolling off his shizun, aimed at his friend from Bai Zhan. 

In the end, Shen Yuan gets one room, and Liu Qingge gets the other. Luo Binghe insists his cultivation is high enough he doesn’t need to sleep, and had no intention to sleep tonight anyway.

This is a perfect time to go and find a brothel or a hookup. He realizes this is the longest he’s gone without sex in a long time, all because he’s been obsessed with Shen Yuan so much lately. But he’s got too much on his mind to do that tonight… He’s still thinking of the loving way Shen Yuan protected that small helpless demon, going as far as defying a peak lord for its sake.

Shen Yuan is… someone with shockingly good character. Despite being surrounded by cultivators, meeting people who are good is surprisingly rare. He doesn’t want his sweet disciple to have that lovely sense of justice stolen away from him by… gross perverts like Liu Qingge lusting after him! 

(He’s not projecting!)

He’s already neglected Shen Yuan as a shizun for so many years. Now he has to step and make up for all that time! He’s decided what he has to do. 

First thing in the morning, he knocks on Shen Yuan’s door. He hears a sweet ‘Come in!’ from inside and for some reason he feels… really nervous. Inside, Shen Yuan is sitting on his bed, brushing his hair, and he smiles when he looks up and sees Luo Binghe. “Good morning, shizun.”

Good morning??? How can he say something so casually, without a hint of shame, looking like that?? He’s wearing nothing but one layer that’s not even thick enough to hide his body! He can see Shen Yuan’s milky thighs and small chest!!!! What the fuck!?

(Is this how he walks around the shared dorms on Qing Jing? Do all the other disciples see the outline of his body through his thin layer every morning?? The longer he stares, the more he tells himself he’s making the right decision by doing this.)

He cuts right to the chase. “Once we return, Shen Yuan shall move his belongings into the bamboo house. This lord will teach him all there is to know about being Qing Jing’s head disciple.” He makes it clear that this is a statement, not a request – he’s not giving Shen Yuan a choice. 

Shen Yuan gawks at him, and Luo Binghe says they’ll discuss things more in detail once they return to Qing Jing, but from this moment on, he represents himself as Luo Binghe’s head disciple. It takes Shen Yuan a few minutes to really comprehend what’s going on, but eventually he bows in thanks and throws on another, thicker layer. Shen Yuan moves for the door and says, “I better tell Liu-shidi-”

Luo Binghe’s hand moves before he can stop himself, and they’re both surprised by the deathly tight grip he has on Shen Yuan’s wrist. 

Luo Binghe clears his throat and lets go. “You should let him be. Sometimes if you spend too much time with a person, it can become off-putting.” There, surely that will keep Shen Yuan away from that brute, right?

Shen Yuan says, “Ohhh,” and then smiles. “Don't worry shizun,” he says gently, “This disciple understands what you're saying. Once I move into the bamboo house, I'll make sure to give shizun his space.” 

Then Shen Yuan walks away and closes the door behind him. Luo Binghe can hear Shen Yuan telling Liu Qingge the good news, “I don’t know if shizun is joking or not, but wouldn’t it be nice for us to do our head disciple work together?” 

Luo Binghe realizes that Shen Yuan is going to RUIN him, and he’ll do it without even realizing. 

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Bodyguard

MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST

Logan Howlett x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3,565ish

Request: Yay, I'm so glad you're taking requests for Wolverine! Could you write about Logan being in love with reader but he's very emotionally constipated and also thinks she doesn't feel the same... but it's like very obvious to everyone they like each other but they're both oblivious and emotionally constipated so they don't act on their feelings. And everyone's just so done with them both, so they always put them together in missions to see if somethings sparks. And eventually she gets hurt in some mission, he panics and finally finally confesses in a panic like "you can't die on me, I love you, stay with me" sort of thing and they finally get together

Warnings: almost drowning, bullet wounds, overprotective behavior

Notes: This is my first time publishing anything that I've ever written for Logan. Hopefully it isn't complete trash. Sorry if it is trash. Let me know if you enjoyed it!

The water features in the garden always seemed to call to you. Whenever you could, you were out there next to them. Like right now, it was a nice day and you had taken the class outside for their English lesson. As you spoke, the water behind you would change to match the scenes you were describing. You were so enthralled with what you were teaching, that you didn’t even notice you were doing it. At least, that’s what Logan believed as he watched you from the balcony of the school.

Your passion for what you taught and your ability always amazed him. When he wasn’t busy himself, Logan often found himself watching you teach. Which is where Jean found him, a small smirk on her lips.

“You could just walk over there, you know?” Jean teased. “I’m sure Y/N wouldn’t mind."

“Don’t want to interrupt her lesson,” Logan muttered, still focusing on you.

“You are never an interruption to her.”

His brows furrowed as he glanced at Jean. “Do you need something?”

“The Professor wants us all in his office once Y/N’s class is over. Are you okay to tell her?”

Logan nodded, immediately heading down to the gardens. Jean couldn’t help but shake her head and smile. You and Logan were so oblivious to each other’s feelings, it was cute. Getting closer to your class, Logan slowed down to not interrupt. He slipped into an empty seat as you wrapped up.

“Read the last few chapters for the next class,” you told the students. “Class dismissed.”

The students gathered their things and walked back to the mansion. You gathered your items and stuffed them into your bag. Getting ready to leave, you noticed Logan sitting in one of the chairs.

“Logan,” you greeted with a smile, “what are you doing out here?”

“The Professor wants us all to meet in his office right now,” Logan responded, standing from the chair.

“Do you know what for?”

“Not a clue.”

“We better head there then.”

The two of you began walking in comfortable silence. It wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to be around each other without saying a word. Your brain often short-circuited around Logan, and you didn’t know why. You were an English teacher, words were your thing, except when it came to Logan. It was slightly embarrassing. Thankfully, only Jean and Ororo had occasionally teased you about it.

When the two of you reached the Professor’s office, Logan held the door open for you. You muttered a soft ‘thank you’ before you took one of the empty seats on the side of the room. Logan took the seat beside you. His arms folded over his chest as the Professor began discussing a possible mission. You did your best to listen while watching Logan from the corner of your eye. His eyes had closed and his head hung. Soft snores were coming from him. You felt bad for Logan. With your rooms right next to each other, you could hear the nightmares that plagued him. Logan barely got any sleep. You weren’t going to wake him now.

Your breath hitched as Logan’s head suddenly fell to your shoulder. You tried to keep as still as you could, allowing him to get some rest. Trying to listen to the Professor and others discuss the possible mission was now a lost cause. Logan was asleep on your shoulder.

It wasn’t long before you noticed that the conversation in the room had died down and everyone was staring at you and Logan.

“I think we’re done for the day,” Charles said with a smirk. “We’ll let you two be alone.”

“Wait—“ You squeaked as everyone quickly and quietly left the Professor’s office.

Logan barely moved, remaining asleep. His head was growing heavier on your shoulder, reminding you that his skeleton was infused with adamantium. You couldn’t wake him though, Logan needed the rest. As carefully as you could, you reached down, grabbed a book from your bag, and began reading.

~~~

Logan groaned, brows furrowing. His eyes were closed but he could tell that his head was resting on something—or someone. He didn’t remember falling asleep. The last thing he remembered was being in the Professor’s office. Suddenly, Logan’s eyes snapped open and his head snapped up. He looked over and saw you sheepishly smiling back at him.

“Hey,” you quietly said.

He glanced around. It was now evening and the two of you were still in the Professor’s office. Logan’s mind quickly pieced together that he had fallen asleep on you hours ago and you had let him.

“I’ve got to go,” Logan’s voice was gruff as he stood up and rushed out of the room.

You couldn’t help but be a little hurt that he didn’t stay longer and talk. You honestly wished he had.

~~~

Logan avoided you for the next week. You couldn’t understand how he was doing it. You could hear him, walking and talking, but you were never able to see him. It stung to know that he was avoiding you and you couldn’t figure out why.

One night, you couldn’t sleep. Your thoughts were racing with the thoughts of Logan. You walked out to the gardens and over to the large pond on the property. You needed to get some frustration out in some way. With your water manipulation mutation, you were not quite a master yet. Manipulating large bodies of water, including the pond you were standing in front of, took a lot out of you. You didn’t care though, you just needed to let some emotions go.

Lifting your hands, you summoned the water, causing it all to shoot up into the air. You let out a scream as you did, already trembling due to the energy needed. You twisted your hands, causing the water to twist together in a large spiral. You continued to spin it together as you stepped into the muddy pond. The water was spinning faster and faster as it grew higher, your emotions taking control of it all.

As you continued closer to the spiral, you failed to look at your feet. Suddenly, you tripped over a rock. You fell, hitting your head on a rock and knowing yourself out. The water suddenly fell back into the pond, making a loud splash as you were buried. 

~~~

Logan couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t been able to since he had fallen asleep on your shoulder. He had also been avoiding you. Logan felt awkward having used you as a pillow. When he woke up, he didn’t know what to say or do, he just felt the need to get out of there. He was too embarrassed to look you in the eye or to confront the growing feelings that continued to stir inside of him.

So instead of sleeping, Logan found himself wandering through the gardens. Thinking of you. He was surprisingly deep in thought when a large splash came from the direction of the pond. Logan rushed over to see the water still splashing like it was trying to settle back into the pond. As he came closer, Logan noticed that someone was floating in the water. It was you.

Before he could even think, Logan dove into the water and pulled your face to the surface.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” he tried to shake you the best he could while keeping you both afloat. 

Logan’s heart dropped when he noticed the large gash on your head that was oozing with blood. Keeping you secure to him with one arm, Logan swam over to the edge of the pond and pulled you onto the grass.

“Logan!” Jean shouted, rushing over with Scott and Ororo. Jean had woken up with a deep sense of dread which then caused her to wake Scott and go looking for the others. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Logan admitted. “I was on a walk and then heard a splash and found her in the pond.”

“Scott, start CPR.”

Scott quickly did as he was instructed. Ororo set a hand on Logan’s back as he stared at your face. Even as you finally coughed up water, Logan didn’t feel any relief. 

“We need to get her to the lab,” Jean stated.

Before anything else could be said, Logan had you in his arms and was carrying you to the lab. The others followed with the Professor meeting them in the lab. Logan set you down on the exam table but didn’t leave your side.

“I need space to work, Logan,” Jean said as she readied equipment.

“I’m not leaving her said,” he responded.

“Fine,” she sighed. “Just give me enough space to work.”

Jean worked quickly to get you on oxygen and hooked up with tubes and wires. The Professor sat by your head and placed his hands on it. Closing his eyes, he searched your brain for what had happened.

“She exhausted herself,” the Professor stated, eyes still closed as he worked through your mind. “She was trying to get some frustration out and used the water in the pond to do so. She ended up tripping and hitting her head on a rock.”

“She shouldn’t have been out there alone,” grumbled Logan.

“No, she shouldn’t have.” The Professor opened his eyes and pulled his hands away. “Y/N should be fine.”

“Yes,” Jean agreed. “She’ll just need to be monitored for a day or two.”

“We can take shifts,” Ororo suggested.

“I’ll go first,” Logan said, with no room for argument. He pulled a chair over and planted himself next to you.

The others heading out to try and get some rest.

“Why was she out there though?” Scott questioned. “She knows better than to try to do something like that on her own.”

“That is something Y/N can answer for herself,” the Professor replied. “Let’s all hope that something happens between Logan and Y/N before another incident does.”

~~~

Groaning, you began to come to. The bright lights seeping through your eyelids and the smell led you to realize that you were in the lab. You tried to move your arm to cover your eyes but soon realized that you had an IV in it.

“Hold still,” a gruff voice ordered.

“The lights,” you rasped.

Heavy footsteps were quick to hit the light switch before coming back to your side. You finally blinked a few times before completely opening your eyes. Logan was hovering over you, his face showing no real signs of concern besides his eyes.

“What were you thinking?” Logan asked.

You let out a little whine as you moved to sit up. Logan’s hand was on your shoulder in a second, pushing you back down.

“Logan, I’m fine,” you told him. “My head simply hurts.”

“You could have drowned,” Logan continued. “You know that you're not strong enough to handle something like that. Why were you out there alone?”

“I just needed to let some frustration out… and I couldn’t sleep.” Logan opened his mouth to say something, but you quickly cut him off. “I’m tired now though. Can I rest more?”

“Fine,” Logan sighed, sitting back down. 

“You can g—“

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

~~~

Even once you were cleared by Jean, Logan wouldn’t leave your side. He was silently brooding a few steps behind you whenever he wasn’t teaching a class himself. If you were in your room, Logan was in his own, listening in to make sure everything was okay. It should have been suffocating, but it wasn’t.

You began to work harder to gain more endurance with your mutation. Logan was always there to help you. During training, Logan would talk to you the most, but it was only in criticism and hints on how to help you. Ororo and Jean often were there to help you and guide you. When they could, they would tease you about your newfound bodyguard and you would brush them off.

After about two and a half weeks, you were beginning to worry about Logan. Only because he was still following you around and barely speaking to you.

“It seems you’ve lost your bodyguard for a moment,” Ororo stated as she came to sit beside you in the kitchen.

You looked over your shoulder, noticing that she was right. “Seems I have. But probably not for long.”

“Have the two of you talked at all?”

“Only during training and only about training.”

“Have you tried to talk to him?” You simply shrugged. “The two of you need to figure whatever you have out. It’s…well, frankly, it’s getting weird. Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

You shook your head. “I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s Logan and he definitely doesn’t feel the same way.”

“Oh, sweetie, you are oblivious. You should at least tell him to back off.”

“He’ll back off eventually.”

Ororo sighed. “You need to deal with this.”

“There’s nothing that needs dealing with.”

“Y/N—“

You suddenly stood up. “I got to go.”

You rushed out of the room as Logan went to enter it. You brushed passed him, ignoring his concerned look as you headed for your room. Logan’s hands clenched as he forced himself to not reach out to you and pull you into him. Once you were a good enough space away, he followed after you. Jean was quick to step in his way as you slipped into your bedroom.

Jean was clearly not amused with Logan’s actions. “You need to just tell her already,” she said. “This whole—stalking thing, needs to end.”

“I’m not stalking her,” Logan argued.

“Then what are you doing?”

“I’m watching out for her. Making sure she doesn’t try to overwork herself again.”

Jean sighed. “You care about Y/N, that much is clear. Well, to everyone but her. You need to be honest with her about your feelings. You can’t just follow her around without speaking forever.”

“Watch me.”

~~~

The silent following continued for another week, with the tension between you and Logan growing. One night, you couldn’t sleep again and found yourself heading back to the pond. You were so caught up in your own thoughts, that you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings. Suddenly, you rammed into something sturdy and before you could figure out what it was, hands grasped onto your arms.

“Where do you think you're going?” There was a hint of anger in Logan’s tone.

“Uh, to the pond,” you replied quietly. Looking up at Logan, you could tell that this wouldn’t be a winning conversation. 

“Not a chance.”

“Logan, I’m fine. Seriously, I—“

“You’re not going to the pond.”

“You’re being ridiculous. I’m just trying to clear my head.”

“Last time you went to the pond, I had to drag your floating body.”

You sighed. “I made a mistake, Logan. I’m not going to use my powers right now, I only want to be near the water.” You tried to go around Logan, only for him to move with you. “This isn’t funny.”

“Good thing I’m not joking.”

You shook your head, growing angry. “You are not in charge of me, Logan. Let me through.”

“Not a chance, sweetheart. You’re going back inside.”

“No, I am not!” The anger was controlling your powers, the water features nearby shooting water in various directions. “I am so sick of your silent following and then stepping in like I need to listen to you.”

“It would do you well to listen to me, sweetheart.”

“Doubt it.” Logan’s jaw clenched and you could tell that you’d hit a cord. “Leave me alone, Logan. I don’t need a bodyguard.”

You turned on your heel and headed back inside, leaving Logan standing in the gardens.

~~~

Logan was back to avoiding you and you absolutely hated it. You felt some guilt about it, especially the more you missed his presence. It was a few days before you saw him and it was only because the Professor had called you all into his office for a mission briefing. Once again, the only open seat was beside you and Logan opted to stand by the door.

The Professor explained the mission: to save some kidnapped mutant kids from an old warehouse. Dangerous humans were guarding the warehouse and experimenting on the children. The X-men were needed to rescue them.

“Scott will stay with the jet,” the Professor explained, “while Jean and Storm will pair off and Logan and Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Logan’s question almost sounded like a scoff. “She’s still harnessing her powers.”

You wanted to disappear right then and there. Especially when Jean glanced at you like she knew Logan was breaking your heart.

“You know for yourself, Logan, that Y/N has worked hard to grow her powers,” Charles defended. “She is ready.”

You couldn’t help but be hurt by the look Logan gave you before he left the room. You knew that things weren’t easy between the two of you, but you had hoped he would have been better about it. It was a stupid hope.

~~~

Logan wouldn’t look at you the entire jet ride to the warehouse. And when the two of you headed out, he led the way without a glance back to see if you were there. Once the two of you were in the warehouse, Logan focused on fighting the humans off while you freed the children. 

You led the children out of the warehouse, where more armed men were waiting. As quickly as you could, you threw up a wall of water, trying to slow the humans down as the children ran for the jet.

“Logan!” You shouted as you used all of your energy to strengthen the wall. “Hurry!”

You could hear Logan still fighting in the warehouse and you could only open he was almost done. You turned your head to check and while you did so, two bullets broke through your barrier and hit you in the abdomen. You inhaled sharply as you fell to the ground, water splashing all around you as your barrier fell as well.

“Y/N!” Logan screamed as he watched you fall. 

He roared as he quickly attacked the remaining guards, killing them with swift hits of his claws. Once he was done, his claws retracted and he rushed to your side.

“Shit,” he muttered.

You let out a painful chuckle. “Guess I… did need… that… bodyguard…” You whined as Logan pressed his hands against your wounds.

“You’re not dying on me, sweetheart.”

“I’ll… try…” Every inch of you felt like it was burning. Your eyes were growing heavier with each passing second and everything was becoming fuzzy.

“Stay with me, Y/N… I can’t lose you. I love you… Stay with me.”

“You… love… me…”

“Just stay with me, sweetheart.” You couldn’t stop yourself from slipping into unconsciousness. “No, no, no, no, no!”

“Y/N! Logan!” Ororo yelled as she searched for the two of you. As soon as she laid eyes on the two of you, her heart dropped. “Logan, get her to the jet. Now!”

~~~

Deja vu. That’s what it felt like when the scent of the lab hit your nose and the blinding lights could be seen through your eyelids. You let out a groan, wanting to move, but your body felt weighed down. 

“Don’t move, sweetheart,” Logan’s voice was strong though still fuzzy in your ears. 

“L—L—Logan?” You rasped, slowly opening your eyes. 

There Logan was, hovering over you looking like hell. It was clear he hadn’t slept in far too long and the more you looked at him, the sooner you realized he was still in his suit from the mission. You licked your dry lips and swallowed as you continued to stare at him.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like death.”

His lips were quickly in a firm line. “Not funny. You… you did die… You died in my arms on the jet… you’ve been asleep for over a week now.”

“How did I…”

“How did you survive? Jean and Hank worked miracles.”

“I’ll have to thank them.”

Logan’s gaze suddenly changed into something you couldn’t quite name. “I was so scared,” he whispered, closing his eyes. 

You grabbed his hand the best you could. “I’m sorry… I wish you didn’t have to see any of that… but I am glad you were there.”

“I should have been by your side the entire time. I could have taken the bullets.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away… you had every right to be worried about me after I almost drowned… I’ve missed my bodyguard.”

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart. I know that I was a bit overwhelming.”

“A bit?”

“Okay, a lot.”

“Got that right.” The two of you fell into silence. Your thumb rubbed against the back of Logan’s hand as you thought about something. “Logan?”

“Mmm?”

“Did you… did you really say that you love me?”

Logan inhaled sharply as his eyes searched yours for what answer to say. “Yes… I did.”

“And do you mean it?”

He sighed. “I do.”

You smiled. “Good because I love you too.”

A large smile, uncommon to Logan, grew over his face. “You do?”

“Of course I do.” He leaned down at softly kissed your lips. “I know that I was frustrated before, but please don’t leave my side again.”

“Never again, sweetheart.”

[mattyriddlesbitch]

cliche but I’m a sucker for those tropes where she’s the dare matheo’s friends made him bet on and she finds out

I love those tropes too, it hurts, but is so good. Thank youuuuuu! <3

Bet

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Warnings: Angsty, one use of 'shitty', I think that's it.

You and Mattheo had been dating for just 3 months now. It had been going great. Your dates were always really fun and nice. You always seemed to be hanging out and kissing and holding hands and just being a regular grossly cute couple. It was all so perfect.

That was until you were coming up the stairs of the Astronomy Tower to hang out with the boys. They were up there already and talking and you heard your name so you stopped to listen.

“It's been 3 months with (Y/N). I guess that means you win.” You heard Enzo say, just making you confused.

“I can't believe you did it. I thought you'd get bored of her after 2 weeks.” Theo added.

“You guys should already know how seriously I take bets. I like proving you guys wrong.” Mattheo, your boyfriend, said.

“I think you just like taking our money.” Draco said and the boys laughed.

You felt sick. You were a bet?

You stood on the stairs for a moment, just taking in the conversation and if you paid attention, you could even hear the money being exchanged, the little clinking of coins as they were being passed.

You turned around, hurrying down the stairs as quietly as you could. How humiliating. How could you face any of them again?

You actually really liked Mattheo. He was so sweet and made you laugh and made you feel appreciated. And now you just felt sick and horrible. How could someone fake all that?

You went back to your dorm, unsure if you should hurl or cry. Instead, you settled for going to sleep, not even bothering to change as you settled into your bed, hiding under the blankets. Was it embarrassing to throw yourself a pity party over a boy toying with your feelings? Yes. But right now, you didn't care. You just wanted to sleep and hopefully wake up to either that conversation being a cruel dream or Mattheo never existing.

It took a lot of tossing and turning, but you managed to get to sleep. You woke up in the morning all sweaty and still upset. You didn't wanna get out of bed. You knew getting up meant that you'd have to see him and probably confront him and you didn't know if you were ready for that.

You forced yourself out of bed anyways, knowing there were still classes today, and as much as you would've loved to sulk in bed, you couldn't miss lessons. You got ready for the day, showering and getting dressed in your uniform before heading out.

Only Mattheo was in front of your door when you opened it, holding a pastry and some drink with a look of concern. You froze, not sure what to do.

“Morning, princess. We missed you last night.” He said, offering you the food and drink.

“I was too tired.” You lied, stepping out of your dorm and closing the door. You accepted the food and drink knowing you'll probably just end up throwing it away anyways. Your stomach still felt too sick to eat.

“You could've told me, angel. I would've just spent the night with you. You know I'd rather spend time with you.” He said with a soft smile.

“Sorry. I wasn't really thinking.” You said and started making your way to your class.

Mattheo was quick to follow. “It's alright. I was just worried. Plus, I missed you.” He said as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

The contact made you feel gross. It didn't feel right anymore. But you kept your mouth shut for now. You didn't want to make a scene before classes. You were already embarrassed as is, if everyone knew you were just a bet because you fought with Mattheo in front of everyone, you'd probably die.

Classes were awful. They probably would've been normal, even good, if that pit in your stomach would've left. You felt too sick to eat other than a few bites at lunch. You locked yourself in your dorm after classes and tried busying yourself with schoolwork. It was really hard to concentrate, though. Merlin, in only 3 months, you had a few pictures of him in your dorm. Not to mention a shitty necklace he bought that hung around your neck. You took it off and tossed it to your bed so you wouldn't be seeing it every time you looked down at your work. Even put the pictures away in a drawer so you could focus. 

You got so focused in schoolwork, a good distraction from your asshole boyfriend. You still felt horrible, but at least you weren't thinking of him as you answered questions about the history of magic. You didn't even notice you missed dinner as you sat at your desk, throwing yourself into work instead of sulking.

You got pulled out of your little world as someone knocked on the door. You looked at the door for a second before standing up and opening it to see Mattheo again, standing there with a plate of food and a smile.

“Hey, princess. You missed dinner, so I brought you something. I don't want you starving.” He said.

“Thanks. I was just caught up in some schoolwork.” You said as you took the plate, this time it was the truth. Even just looking at the food made you sick. Why was he being so sweet when this is all a lie?

“Is everything okay?” He asked and you noticed you were making a sour face at the food.

“I don't feel like eating.” You said simply.

“Why? Are you feeling sick?” He asked, reaching a hand out to feel your forehead for a fever.

You stopped his hand by pushing his arm away. “I'm not sick.”

He frowned at you not letting him touch you. “Then what's going on?” His eyes looked over you, stopping around your chest. “You aren't wearing my necklace.” He noted, knowing you haven't taken it off since he gave it to you.

You couldn't do it anymore. “Was I just a bet?” You asked, matching his frown.

His face softened slightly as his mouth opened to say something, but no words came out. He didn't wanna say ‘yes’ but he didn't wanna lie either.

It answered your question anyways and you felt tears stinging your eyes at the confirmation. “Don't bother me ever again.” You said and shoved the plate of food at him, letting go before he could even react to grab it, making it fall to the floor as you closed the door on him.

He stood outside your door, trying to gather his thoughts as to what to do next. You may have been just a bet to start with, but, Merlin, help him, he was falling hard for you.

You curled up in your bed again, too depressed to even think about continuing your schoolwork.

The next few days were spent trying to avoid Mattheo and his friends while getting through classes. You saw him try to approach you several times, but you dodged him every time. You missed him and you hated yourself for even thinking that. He hurt you. Why did you miss him?

It wasn't until almost a week later, when you came back to your dorm after classes, you opened the door to see Mattheo leaning against your desk, looking at one of the pictures you shoved in a drawer. You dropped your bag to the floor beside you with a sigh as he looked up at you, standing up straight as he put the picture down.

You crossed your arms as you looked at him. “I told you not to bother me again.”

“I'm sorry.” He said, taking a few steps towards you. “I'll do anything you want but that. I know you're upset. Kick me, punch me, hex me. Do whatever will make you feel better. But I can't just leave you alone.” He looked like he wanted to touch you, but put his hands in his pockets instead.

“I don't care, just leave.” You said, gesturing to the open door.

He went over to the door, but instead of leaving, he just closed it. “I'll be honest, completely honest. Yes, you were a bet. It was supposed to be something fun for me and my friends, but instead, I ended up getting feelings for you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “So what? You want me to forget that what you did hurt me? You want me to pretend that you didn't have the intentions to play with my feelings and use me for fun?” The hurt and anger was obvious in your tone.

“No. You're right. What I did was awful and I shouldn't have done it.” He said, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the floor.

“So what do you want from me?” You asked, your tone was still harsh.

“You. I want you.” His answer was immediate as he took another step towards you.

You looked away, sighing again in frustration. “I can't just forget and ignore what you did.”

“Please, (Y/N). I'll do anything.” He said, now reaching out for your hand but you step back out of his reach.

“How much?” You asked.

“What?” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he let his hand fall by his side again.

“How much? How much did you get from the bet?”

He hesitated before answering, obviously not fond of the question. “100 galleons.”

“Did you get it? You win?” You asked, the harshness in your tone causing him to shift uncomfortably.

“Yeah.” He said, putting his hand back in his pocket.

“You mean it? For real? About you catching feelings?” You asked a little softer.

“I do.” He really didn't wanna say more than you asked in case he said the wrong thing, so he bit his tongue to not ramble about his feelings towards you.

You stared at him as you thought about what to do. He hurt you, but you actually had feelings for him too. “Was anything else a lie?”

“No. Everything I said and did was all me. No lies, no acts. I was being me. The real me.” He took another step towards you.

You let out a long exhale as you thought. If he was being genuine, then you guys could restart properly. But he wasn't genuine before, so why should you believe him now?

“Please.” He said softly as he stepped towards you again, nearly toe-to-toe with you.

You closed your eyes and sighed, knowing what you were about to do was stupid. “On conditions.” You say and open your eyes to look at him.

His face immediately lit up as he nodded. “Anything.”

“I want the money.” You said and he smiled ever so slightly and nodded. “Not fair you played me and got money for it. Not fair for your friends to get it back either since they made the bet with you.”

“Absolutely. I was gonna take you somewhere nice with it and maybe buy you something, but whatever you want.” He said.

You almost smiled at the thought, but wanted to keep up being angry with him. “I want an apology and love letter. Handwritten until your hand hurts.”

“Fair.” He nodded, his smile getting bigger.

“I want apologies from everyone involved with the bet too.” You added.

He tilted his head in thought. “I can do that.”

“Better get started.”

“Right after this.” He said and cupped your cheeks, leaning in and kissing you gently. “You're so cute when you're upset.”

“I'm about to be downright adorable if you don't get to work now, Riddle.”

“Fine.” He said, stepping back towards your door. “You're gonna love me tomorrow, though! Just wait!” He smiled at you as he left your dorm.

Taglist:

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@soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl @brittney-121

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Let me know if you wanna be added!

[lewisvinga]

west coast | lewis hamilton x fem! reader

summary; y/n leaves lewis due to the feeling of being held back from consistently traveling to his races, only to realize how much she missed him.

warnings; mentions of drinking

notes; he’s so sexy , i know my goat is gonna look sexy asf in that ferrari red

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs

word count; 1.3k

‘born to die’ series masterlist.

f1 masterlist !

“I’m sorry, Lewis. It’s for the best and you know this.” Y/n wipes away the tears falling down her cheeks as she holds on tightly to her suitcase filled with her closeness.

Lewis lets out a disappointed sigh, nodding his head in agreement. He knew that she had to finish her degree which meant everything to her. But finishing her degree meant she couldn’t follow him around the world anymore. It meant that they needed to have a break.

“I know, it’s just…”

“Hard being away from each other.”

“Yeah.” He responds with a deep chuckle. “Honestly, I got this feeling like it all probably would’ve happened later if we waited more. Probably would’ve been worse.”

Y/n slowly nods her head in agreement, not trusting her voice to respond for her. She leans down to gently pet the top of Roscoe’s head. The dog seemed to know what was going on since he refused to leave her side.

She gives the dog one last pat on the head before standing back up, giving Lewis a sad smile. “I guess, it’s time for me to go. See you around then?”

“Yeah, see you ‘round.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

“This isn’t your usual club.” Y/n mumbles as her best friend drags her into what she thought was a normal club. Y/b/f laughs, hooking her arm with the confused girl.

“It’s an exclusive club! Celebrities and big names only. And it’s L.A., there’s gonna be many people here.” Y/b/f explains with a smile. Due to being a well-known influencer, she was let in along with Y/n who had a known name due to a previous relationship.

“Now, drinks?”

“Y/b/f, I have to study for an exam all day tomorrow. No can do.”

“If you’re not drinkin’, then you’re not playin’!” Y/b/f exclaims over the loud music as they make their way to the bar. “C’mon, I know you’ve got the music in you. Don’t you?” She adds with a smile.

Y/n let out a sigh before a smile crept up on her lips. “Just one drink, Y/n. Just one.” She knew that it wouldn’t be just one. She knew that she’d wake up with a hangover but it was Los Angeles, she couldn’t miss the chance to party in Los Angeles.

“Perfect!”

2 hours later, Y/n was already drunk and returning from the bathroom. She was stumbling out of the bathroom and was suddenly met with a familiar scent. She sobered a bit when she glanced up and saw those big brown eyes that she once and still adored.

She could feel herself heating up from seeing him a couple of months after breaking up with him. Her skin was basically hot to the touch. “Lew-Lewis.” She says with wide eyes, still tipsy.

“Y/n…” Lewis says in a soft tone. He was quickly as shocked, as seen by the way his eyebrows were raised up high. “H-How have you been?”

“Uhm, great!” She quickly says, standing up straight and fixing her short dress. “Was able to take enough classes this semester to graduate. Actually- you didn’t ask that. Ignore that. I- How about you?” The alcohol in her system made her rant a bit but it made him let out his signature laugh.

“I’ve been great too actually.” He replies with a smile, nodding his head. She noticed how his hair was styled differently. He opted for dark brown braids as opposed to the honey brown, a color she suggested a couple weeks before splitting.

“Your hair…” Y/n trails off, “It looks really nice.”

“Thank you. I mean, you suggested it so I decided to try it out.”

She smiles and nods before a silence falls over them. They both wanted to say something else but couldn’t figure out what to say. Although she was just months away from graduating, her heart still longed for him. And even if girls were constantly throwing themselves at him, he only wanted her.

“Y/n, I miss you.”

Panic fills her mind as she hears the words she has been wanting to hear. She wants to say that she missed him so much but something keeps her really quiet. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s still tipsy and wants to get drunk like she’s a lush. But in a panic, she blurts out, “Gotta go! Y/b/f is calling me!”

She turns around and runs back to where her best friend is sitting in a panic and with wide eyes. She sat down next to her and covered her face with her hands. Y/b/f was talking to an athlete when she noticed her friend's panicked look.

“What's wrong?” She immediately asked, focusing more on her best friend than the guy beside her.

“Lewis is here,” Y/n says with a sigh, grabbing Y/b/f’s drink and taking a long sip. “I need a drink, come with me.” She added, standing back up and grabbing her friend's arm, dragging her to the bar.

Another hour had passed and the club was getting hot. A little too hot for Y/n’s liking. She could feel her blown-out hair starting to frizz up, her mascara was slightly smudged in the corner of her eyes, and she felt hotter than fire. She needed to go outside.

Fortunately, she noticed a balcony outside before entering the club. So, she followed a set of stairs by the bathroom which led right to the grand balcony. There were a few people there, some with drinks and some with parliaments on fire in hand.

Before she could open the door, her eyes landed on once again, a familiar set of crinkled brown eyes and a wide smile. Her once sweet boy swayed along to the music. Maybe it was the fact she had more alcohol in her system, but she wanted to go up to him.

Y/n takes a deep breath and opens the door leading to the balcony. She didn’t realize how hard she had opened it until she saw him look right at her. The person he was talking to backed away, immediately recognizing her.

She slowly walks over to him, her heels clicking along. “Lewis.” She quietly says once she stood in front of him. He stood up straighter as his eyes furrowed up in confusion.

“Y/n-“

“I miss you too.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I mean, yeah, but you made me panic when you said that,” Y/n sighs, fiddling with the gold rings on her finger. “And now I’ve had a lot more to drink and it gave me the courage to and I know it’s stupid. Missing you when I was the one to end things for my studies, which have been going well anyway. I’m about to graduate and I still miss you, Lewis. I thought that my desire was to settle down to finish my degree but it wasn’t. It’s you I desire.”

Silence fell over them for a minute. She immediately began to regret everything she said. The regret caused her to sober up again. She opened her mouth to apologize but before she could, Lewis pulled her closer by her waist and kissed her plump lips.

Her arms immediately wrapped around his neck as she pulled him closer, finally getting what she wanted, what they both wanted. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against hers and keeps his hands on her waist.

“Come back to me, love.”

“Lewis, I’ll go running back to you any day.”

Lewis lets out a breathy chuckle before leaning back a bit. He wore a smile so wide that he couldn’t even bother trying to contain it. “How about we get out of here?”

Y/n’s smile matched his as she nodded in response. “I like that.” She whispers, grasping his hand. Looks like down on the West Coast, things will actually turn out alright.